#i need a confrontation to happen too...
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God loves you, but not enough to save you.
Based on this scenario!
#juddrawing#as i said i have big emotions and thoughts about jesus in the context of good omens and i think he can be such an interesting character#he parallels aziraphale perfectly#a character that needs to discover free will and that he is more than God's pawn#i need a confrontation to happen too...#good omens#crowley#ineffable husbands#aziraphale#good omens fanart#aziracrow#good omens 2#ceo jesus#comic#good omens 3
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never change, man !
#phantom of the paradise#potp#swan potp#nightmaretheater#65 layers and about 24 hours . Eeeyyuppp#Look into my beautiful mind boy#Its a bit unusual to what i usually draw#but i had to push a specific look for this piece#hopefully you all are picking up on the corperate look . the advertisment look#Sneeze. Anyways my point is industry destroys creative people. This includes swan#I feel like phrases like these ; how he was put on a pedistal…. it lead him to be Like That#as awful as he is he desperately needed help#it might seem like vanity on the surface#but i think its… more than that#long story short: we need to destroy the beauty industry. the skincare industry. the anti-aging industry#It ruined his psyche forever and he cant let go of the ideal version of himself he will never truly be again#i dont think he can at this point. hes in too deep and hes suffering for it no matter how much he feels hes fixed his problems#he cant accept a version of himself that isnt that perfect young man. because he never confronted his problems. he just ran away#anyways . Hi swath *punches him**kicks him*#i dont care if nobody gets me lalalalla my truths and headcanons are awesome forever and i live in my own reality lallaallal#sorry i think im gonna be posting about swan alot for a few months hes making me sick#i wass gonna post this earlier but my internet was real bad#*lays down in my pile of pillows* eat up boys. haha#sidenote: drawing white blond people is horrifiying. Boy your skin and hair are the same color. Introduce some contrast to yourself. Please#adding on: its inportant to note this focuses on him looking st himself in the mirror alot on purpouse#to remind himself what he ‘’’’really’’’’ looks like#the 4 middle pannels all represent that too . u have to be in my brain ri get this#sorry for unleashijg another swan essay in my tags. will happen again lol
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Amethio.
#thinking about the fact that we'll probably get to see him in the preview at the end of this week's ep#and maybe he'll even get to narrate the preview? that would be neat#sango and onyx narrated the pv for ep 80.. so who knows#maybe amethio will voice the pv for ep 83#i'd like to know the scriptwriter for ep 83 too.. i need to know what i should focus on depending on who is writing it. pls tell me-#very excited about the rayquaza confrontation this week and the events that will ensue#but also. a little bit insane about the ep airing ten days from now-#no idea what direction amethio's arc will take. not knowing makes it exciting though#and the layers this story has given that gibeon and crave are around.. making it more complex#there are whole worlds to explore depending on which generational bond you focus on. i want to peel through it all. what happened.#also. can gibeon talk soon. i can't live like this-#hz083#episode notes
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okay i need to stop fucking around seriously
#me when the game actually calls me out: oh i was not familiar with ur....game#okay but seriously i was curious#like I've been light “flirting” at various times#tho its either joking or lighthearted in nature to me#anyways i was curious to see if anything would happen#when i made a flirty joke about August#AND THERE WERE ACTUAL CONSEQUENCES#*standing ovation*#i like when games dont let me get away with just anything#i want the characters with high affection to react lol#anyways im a save scummer so all is good#like making that joke only made me lose stat points with orion too#no gain on august#....idk wat i want too#i like picking flirty options if its fitting in the moment and feels in character for my playthrough#im at like 60+ with several ppl#(and still have feelings for seven btw lmaoo)#i feel like if u go too high with multiple ppl a confrontation will def happen#and this might be the area where u start toeing the line#tho im not sure if theres a secret stat keeping track of just hearts#cause ik platonic options can increase the percentage too#inch resting stuff#its 3am btw 💀#i need to go to bed#once i catch up on this if i need to take a breather from vns and ifs for a week maybe#cause i keep staying up too late whenever i really get into one#infamous if#orion i swear im serious i swearrr#....i wanna talk about griff and victoria too but im outta tags so on a dif post at some point ig :P
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Ruin is at his breaking point from the recent stress, and corners Eclipse with an unusual request.
I figured I should actually link this here qwq Just me making Ruin and Eclipse hug because they both desperately need some comfort-- now with additional chapters!
#the sun and moon show#tsams#fnaf#fnaf security breach#fanfiction#writing#this was SUPPOSED to just be a oneshot#but then i thought of additional scenes#it's not meant to be an ongoing or plotted story#and i'll be adding to it whenever I feel like it#really the ep Eclipse CONFRONTS Ruin came out and i was like#'i have set up an AU where these two have shared a moment'#'good golly wouldn't it be painful if canon events happened too'#not really a ship? they aren't even friends#but you know me and needing two people who feel isolated to clump up together for mutual comfort
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the more Earthspark I watch the more I am mentally replacing whatever arc is going on with HOLY SHIT, THE TRANSFORMERS NEED RIGHTS, IMMEDIATELY,
taking a greyhound bus to witwicky PA like oh my god, locking up undocumented aliens was never okay but in this year of 2wo thousand of twenty five,
#transformers earthspark#earthspark#i don't care how hard seasons 2 and after try to avert their eyes from the allegory#its too late#and time has happened#and the context is even worse than it originally was#transformers#adopting 4 undocumented kids to try and shield them from robot ICE?? is that what happened in s1???#megatron fucked UP heel face turn where being 'a good guy' means working for the baddies actually#we need to confront the USG about this now is NOT THE TIME to be teaching the Children how to Behave
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watching my friends spend time together while consistently cancelling plans with me and promising they want to hang out they just cant
#boink#vent post#idk if this counts as a vent#but it /is/ rather self pitying so i thought i may as well be safe#ive stopped asking bc i dont want to be pushy#ofc ik that things happen and sometimes youre just not in a place to be around people. or even certain people#but its just demoralizing when im the only one who ever reaches out#and im never the one who has to cancel#and theyre always with other people anyway#sometimes i think my loneliness is my own fault#i make myself alone and tell myself that no one wants me so i dont have to deal with the confrontation of that being true#but the incidence of relationships that just. drift#maybe its me. maybe its something about me#ive just been trying so hard to get over the fear of reaching out and being the one to approach people#i tell my friends i love them#i ask if they need me to help or to listen or to stay or to go#i really really want to be a good friend#i try not to be too clingy but to also reach out and not make myself retreat because im scared#i just really would like to have a friendship that doesnt feel entirely like me forcing it#i thought i had that with the friend i made at school#but its been starting to feel like shes avoiding me#and i ask if theres something wrong. and she says she would tell me if it was. but then she avoids me and i cant even talk to her at all#i dont know#i dont know what to do
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tfw you go through an entire day waiting for meetings/calls/people to get back to you just to find 30 minutes before you were supposed to do any given thing that it’s been cancelled so now you’ve wasted the better part of your day waiting & preparing for stuff that didn’t even end up happening and now you have work you have to be doing instead of doing something else that’s actually enjoyable . 🙂
#vent#vagueposting#not about anyone on here but shrug emoji#sigh. I’m so tired of being the person who puts in all the effort to organize stuff with my friends who seem to not care at all.#and I’m so tired of being committed to things that it seems like no one else is#it’s just. disheartening#I don’t usually vent on here but I don’t feel like confronting anyone and I don’t wanna make any of my friends listen to my Woes#I do that too much#so. sorry about the negativity anyone who sees this I just needed to scream into the void for a second ya know#it’s just . it’s not anyone’s fault and shit comes up and people are sometimes just like that. so it’s fine.#but it makes me tired and it stops me from doing stuff I want to be doing#which I know that’s a me problem and partially an executive dysfunction problem and I wish I was able#to not spend all day psyching myself up for an interaction and be able to just drop it and say whatever when it doesn’t end up happening#but that’s not something I can fix in the short run yanno#so. vagueing about it on tumblr I guess is the safest option lol#anyways. back to your regularly scheduled programming as soon as I get out of art block dont worry#I say as if anyone’s gonna read this lol#honestly I hope no one does I’m kind of in a Debbie downer mood rn and I don’t like being like that. which is why I’m putting it here ig#shrug emoji
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"as a cishet male on tumblr-" nothing you have to say next could possibly hold any value in a conversation on misogyny🙏🙏
#my post#never seen somebody start w that phrasing and not IMMEDIATELY follow it up w “women need to be more niceys to men bcs of my feelings😢”#like bro I do NOTTT care. shut up#I've seen this happen so kuch recently is it a new trend?#women have to coddle men and censor themselves so men don't feel excluded or unwelcome in 'leftist spaces'??#sorry if your sense if self and ego is so fragile that's not my fucking problem#and if you can't keep that insecurity to yourself and instead feel the need to confront women? then you aren't ready yo take part in any-#serious discussions anyways#genuinely cannot believe we're having discourse abt women being too mean to men in this day and age#(btw this is NOT!! about transwomen-half the time I see this bullshit it's directed at transwomen for the apparent crime of having a spine)#we love and respect transwomen here and they have the right to be mean to and hate men#if women hate men that's fairly reasonable and is reasonable to anyone who has strpped outside and had the displeasure of coexisting w men#or not even outside! I hate men for harassing me in the streets but I also hate them for the carnage they wreck in my personal life
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loveee when a character is crushed under the weight of someone elses expectations for them love when a character dedicates their entire life to something they never even wanted for themself love when the only reason a character keeps going is because theyre Supposed to and bc theyre supposed to make another person happy/proud. YES !!! CLAPPING !!! YES !!!!!!!!
#this isnt rly related to any character in particular i just thought abt this and it made me scream.#flirting at a bar Damn girl you look like youre trapped in a life you built to please someone else. and then i kneel down and pull out a 💍#sry i ran out of space for the full word ring. also why when i type 💍 Ohh theyre hiding it. bc now the emoji is 💍 Oh they changed it again#pox on their home..originally it was 🔐 sughested emoji#but then the second time it was 😭.... very anti marriage. well ig maybe the sob could be like OMG... YES!!!!! I WILL MARRY YOU!!!!!!#ngl getting proposed to is such a big fear of mine like. i dont think id ever be able to propose to someone so id have to be proposed to i#suppose but it makes me quite nervous not bc im like ohh nooo dont propose i just rly worry ill react the wrong way and theyll change their#mind. like its a very high emotion moment so ik i would be supposed to be emotional And i would be but idk if id do it in the right way . y#idk. what if my autism looms and i end up just being like 😐 on accident. fuckkk. what if i say somethinf dumb. like i try to be like YES !#but instead im like YEP! god. can you imagine. id have to just bury myself at that point. so embarassing. or like what if i get excited and#flap my hands but it was supposed to be more of a like. joyful crying type of thing... or what if im supposed to just be shocked and like .#Oh my god ....#and am I supposed to run at them and sweep them into a hug or do they do thst to me. UGH. ITS SO STRESSFUL. i suppose ill just remain alone#forever so I never have to confront any difficult situations ever again . Joke .#idk it just makes me nervous. but i suppose hopefully the person proposing to me will love me . that would be nice so hopefully they wont#mind if i dont respond the right way . and they wont be upset with me bc they love me eversomuch. a girl can dream i suppose... my head lik#is pounding sry. i need to sleep probably.. stayed up too late again -_- 8am -_- and im sposed to do laundry today But i dont want to . and#since im gonna fall asleep i fear it shant happen. UGHHH#wtvr. idk what my ideal proposal would be likeee. i don't want to be blindsided ig#i like surprises but Obviously im too worried abt like. my immediate reaction#+ i think its important to talk abt marriage Before proposing just so everybodys like#on the same page and such. Obvs... but ya. i dont think id want a super public proposal like. id like it to be somewhere nice with maybs#significance to our relationship and such. and its fine if theres like Some passersby but id hate for it 2 be like. somewhere crowded. or i#a restaurant or something#Altho if it was in a restaurant maybe we could get free food..#but maybe that can be just fake proposals later on. and our real proposal can be somewhere else. YIPPEEE. me and my imaginary future spouse#who is To be honest rather bare minimum#normal girl will be like Wistful sigh maybe my future spouse will even love me and wont scream at me and will like to listen to me speak 😍#but anywyas. my beddybye time. SURPRISE GN POST#woahhthis got off topic i forgot what the original post was this always happens. i do love characters like that
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i hate how even the simplest confrontation just makes me an absolute shaky mess
#confrontation even feels like too strong of a word for what happened RIP#like on my way home just now there was a guy at one of the intersections waving his trump/asshole running for local office sign#and tell me why just giving him a big thumbs down while driving past made me so shaky i almost needed to pull over#like..............................#scream singing along to super graphic ultra modern girl helped a little but like#good fucking god#i hate being like this#i really am through with all these super me(/a)ga bummer boys#and yeah of course he was an old white dude
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THE DRAMMAAAA
I was gone for like a day guys 🧍♀️
Obviously do what’s gonna make you comfortable (ie: blocking children)
and don’t do things that risk another persons legal standing (ie: being a child)
but let’s just love each other please
let’s not send actual threats over dumb shit
it’s not cute and there’s enough hate in this world
i just wanna go back in time three months with this fandom 😭😭
Also yes what occurred is bad and it’s good it was brought to light but lowkey it’s just as weird to go stalk someone’s instagram for what would’ve been no reason had she not turned out to be under 18 🫶🫶
#Not trying to get problematic#just lowkey sad asf that this happened#i hate confrontation#and i don’t want more people to leave#might be too real#but the amount of times the people on this app have quite literally kept me alive#i need some of you to stick around 😭😭
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okeydoke as I have not had much energy for working on stuff lately (but lots of motivation) I'm not gonna do proper NaNo with a wordcount or anything, BUT I am gonna make it a goal to get some amount of work done on a writing project every day (at least until I go away on the 24th). Main priority blaseball projects are, in no particular order:
Fic about the ending
Abner fic
Simon's Quest
secret fic(s) :)
get the Talkers exchange set up
Aside from that, I've been poking at more non-blaseball stuff, which is a good excuse for me to plug my writing blog @cyndakip! All my fics get posted there, so if you're interested in my writing beyond just blaseball (especially if you like pokemon), I recommend following me there, since I don't post non-blaseball fics here.
#I'm in a weird place rn where the end of blb is coinciding with me finally feeling ready to get back to nuzlockes#and I very much want to keep writing blb fics! it's just complicated by me getting smacked over the head with pokemon motivation#and separate from that I think it's just been hard for me to work on blb fics knowing that it's over#writing the ending fic in particular means confronting that. and I definitely haven't fully processed it yet and idk when I will#I really truly do want to keep writing blb fics for a long time but I worry there will be not much of an audience anymore#and I know that doesn't matter. I'm gonna write what I want and I know some people will still read it. but yknow. it's rough#also my relationship with pokemon and the nuzlocke community has been really fucking complicated these past few years#to the point where I stopped engaging altogether bc it was stressing me out too much and I had lost all confidence in my writing#this happened to be right before I got into blb. which came along at the perfect time and gave me the community & confidence boost I needed#now it kinda feels like we've come full circle. blb has changed me and now I'm ready to go back with a whole new attitude#I just don't want these two things to be mutually exclusive! I want both! but that's easier said than done#especially bc I haven't had enough energy to work on much of either lately! I want to say things are getting better on that front but#it's complicated. you know how it is with human bodies. treacherous things#the thing is I don't want to waste this. I feel ready for pokemon again and god I missed it and I'm gonna ride this wave of motivation#if I had more energy this would be less of a problem. ah well#gonna get all this done sooner or later#talking moistly
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im really sad about how wyll’s whole story is going in act 3 bc it feels like, compared to the other characters, he hasnt gotten any huge scenes where he’s actually making decisions for himself. like for the scene where mizora forces him to choose between breaking his contract or saving his father, you choose for him and he agrees to whatever you tell him to do instantly like. why. there also just hasnt really been any scenes outside of camp that wyll really gets to shine in even tho theres been plenty of opportunities for them
#the gortash coronation scene i especially expected wyll to have much more dialogue in but. nope#i didnt know wylls storyline was gonna be involved in the save the gondians quest tho#so i didnt have him in my party when my attempt at saving ulder gone wrong happened or when florrick confronted us afterwards….#and when i talked to him it was just my chara showing him what happened thru the tadpole#and the narrator describing him as taking a moment and then that being all he needed to mourn his father#and like one line alongside that idr#but it was a lackluster reaction while i do think he does hold in his emotions too much its just like. it shows that#and doesnt explore it at all#raaaaaah#bg3 blogging#when gale confronts mystra he gets to make his own decisions#when shadowheart confronts the sharran cult she gets to make her own decisions#when astarion confronts cazador he gets to make his own decisions#etc etc its just irritating
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now that i think about it, i think it’s super funny how everyone has collectively wordlessly agreed to call harunya “harunyan”~~~~~ give her her ending consonant back, hw~~ the extra “n” at the end has a better ring to it anyway~
#anyway aochun and harunya vs chuucon for toxic yuri awards. who would win and why—#what would the ship name for aochun and harunya be anyway? aoharu? like aoharu ri—#is this too a chicohani ref lolsjk (anyways stan sekoi)#but hypothetically speaking if we got a [redacted] anime s2 i want to see animated aoharu too~~~~~~~~#i mean since the chizuutan manga happens alongside the [redacted] anime anyway.#but. hm. considering how chapter 2 happens during ep 5… d oes this mean we’ve already skipped over the nagisa arc in the chizuutan manga—#or. m. maybe. p l e a s e let the jk trio confrontation happen in vol 2. it’d be a nice way to tie in chizuutan’s potential romance with ren#sh. shakingngngngngng the mangaka rn pls give jk trio crumbs enough of chizuchan’s aizo delusions what about her friends#i need to see juri and yuna fistfight. idk why. but i do.#maybe i should stop thinking about chizuchan for the week. my thoughts are a m e s s#chizuutan chizpost#(yes this is how i cope about lls 9th and final live s o b s i miss gk so bad)#(i really need to watch the yhn rpg anime thoughh i miss the ultimate datenshi sm)#(but. even as i fall back into my lls phase… i finally realise why abs by lxl seemed so familiar in nature)#(it’s literally just kokoro.magic.a.to.z in the actual desert)#(the themes are sooo hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhss but the song lowkey kinda slaps and i m just.)#(man. this got off topic real fast. i think my cold’s gotten the best of me. cries)
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so deeply in hell
#literally crazy how my entire sense of the landscape of my life got blown to smithereens a week ago and i have to be normal and have#meetings and be responsible for schoolwork and preparing people for the retreat and orienting my new colleague to our work duri ng her first#week when i am triggered by every little thing and my chest feels like it’s collapsing with the weight of how badly i need to sob. lole#purrs#like i think it is actually fucking over for me. i think i am going to end it. (not my life but something fundamentally important to it 😻👎💔#) and i have to be so fucking normal about that when it is the worst most painful thing in the world. and i can’t tell if that’s what#actually has to happen or if it’s my brain fucking destroying me but the way i am in full blown panic mode knowing i have irreversibly#damaged this thing that gives my life structure and meaning and i have to confront that truth for real and act on it in a few days. LOL#like it’s sooooo crazy. the thing that.. like i haven’t been able to without… and i ruined it. by needing too much too loudly ummmm 😍😍😍🤪🤪🤪😵😵#delete later
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