#i need a previously untranslated thing

[trupowieszcz-moved]

anglo people please recommend me niche books you've read at ages 10-14 and i mean niche like i wont find them in nostalgia starter pack posts or whatever

[mdzs-fanon-exposed]

Introductory post: Please read! :)

hi everyone! welcome to my very own MDZS-specific iteration of the unparalleled @svsss-fanon-exposed and @tgcf-fanon-exposed. this blog is designed to find the differences between canon and fanon in the Mo Dao Zu Shi/Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation fandom.

this blog is ENGLISH NOVEL CANON ONLY. although i may occasionally cite the drama or the donghua as the potential source for any misconceptions, the canons of these adaptations differ too much from the novel canon for my purposes (plus i haven't finished either one. whoops).

how this whole thing works:

send me an ask! is this thing you thought was canon actually fanon? is that fanon idea supported in the books? where? why? how?

i'll answer the ask with a rating, using SVFE's helpful rating system (explained below), and then go into detail. generally a post will include textual evidence supporting my rating, and possibly an analysis of what this means/where an idea came from.

i'll do my best not to introduce my own personal opinions or biases into the posts. if you have any textual evidence that you think disproves or otherwise contradicts one of my posts, i'm always happy to be corrected! HOWEVER. please do not argue with me or anyone else unnecessarily; this blog is not supposed to be a site for or source of discourse. i will block anyone who is repeatedly coming at me with bad faith. i'm doing this project for fun, and i want to keep it that way for everyone :)

posts will probably be sporadic so i don't burn myself out and lose interest. however, i want to try and answer as many questions as i can! submissions will open and close based on demand so i can stay on top of things.

some important things to keep in mind:

i'm not here to dunk on anyone's headcanons, and i am fully supportive of everyone's creative choices in the fandom!! (in fact i have many headcanons myself.) DO NOT harass anyone for their interpretations of the series. my purpose here is just to clarify whether certain ideas are textually supported, NOT to give an opinion on them.

i'm doing this blog for fun, so i'll be treating it as a casual project. i will only be using the official english translation of the novels, with the supplementary exception of the exiled rebels fanlation. i don't speak any chinese, so i will not be using the untranslated raws or any non-english fandom sources in my posts. although i'll be doing research as needed, i also will not be evaluating any headcanons purely based on chinese cultural norms, due to my unfamiliarity with them. if you are more familiar with any of these sources and have more information to add to a post, please let me know!

another thing to keep in mind: the official translation of the novels is not considered fully accurate to the original chinese. i am not immune to making mistakes, either. please take my posts with a grain of salt.

BECAUSE this is a casual project from someone whose only credentials are being completely obsessed with mo dao zu shi and knowing how to write an essay, anyone is welcome to make a blog that does this but. better. let me know if you start one and i'll point people your way lol.

finally: i will NOT be entertaining any character bashing in or on my blog. again, this is not a personal opinion-based blog, i'm looking at textual support, so honestly i don't think this disclaimer is necessary. but. just in case.

💥💥the rating system:💥💥

CANON: what it says on the tin! this fact is supported by the text. if you're trying to be as canon-compliant as possible, this rating is for you.

RUMOR: this fact is an in-text rumor. although this idea is mentioned in the novel, it's still not explicitly confirmed as canon. the characters themselves don't know if it's true or not!

FANON – SUPPORTED: not directly stated in canon, but it's a very likely interpretation, taking into account factors like cultural norms and occam's razor! this rating might be retroactively added to a post previously rated FANON – NEUTRAL, based on crowdsourced information about the raws or chinese culture.

FANON – NEUTRAL: it's not canon, but it's not NOT canon. the text neither confirms nor denies this interpretation, so it's up to you whether you want to consider it true to canon or not. the world is your oyster.

FANON – UNSUPPORTED: not directly stated in canon, but it's a very unlikely interpretation, taking into account factors like cultural norms and occam's razor. this rating might be retroactively added to a post previously rated FANON – NEUTRAL, based on crowdsourced information about the raws or chinese culture.

FANON – CONFLICTING: this idea directly contradicts something stated in the text. if you want to stay as canon-compliant as possible, this rating is not for you.

[authoratmidnight]

So, one thing I like about having an official english release is that it translates things that were previously left untranslated, usually due to being too small or hard to read (which, fair enough).

In this case, in vol 8(chapter 68), we get to see some of Kalego's personal notes about Iruma!

I have done my best to transcribe them so you don't have to squint to read. Throwing them under a cut b/c long.

Page 1 (the bottom most page on the right hand side)

[First part is illegible, I see the word 'her' and what might be 'Clara' so it may be talking about Iruma's relationship/interactions with Clara]

...c Asmodeus...

Eligos Schnell...

...school activities...

...mostly [unintelligible] his...

...(t?)here they design(?)...

...more than [unintelligible] hers...

...most likely...

[Note: This is the most illegible of the pages. if I had to guess it's discussing Iruma and the Batra/it's members? It's really hard to tell]

Page 2 (the one Iruma's hand is on)

Valac Clara

Interactions with Classmates

-Spends most of his time with other boys in class

-As for girls, he has been seen interacting with Keroli Crocell and following her lead

Battler Magic Apparatus Research

-Activities temporarily suspended

-> see Kirio Amy pg (it looks like a number is written here but can't tell, possible 4? or 14?)

-Iruma may very well...magical power

Eligos (Schnell)....Student Cap...

.....(inc)ident

Temp(orary/orarily? not sure which one)...while...activities

[Note: I really wanna know what notes he has about Kirio and Iruma's relationship. Since the notes aren't gonna be about Kirio since Kirio wasn't his student, they would be about him in relation to Iruma]

Page 3 (the one of the far left, which we can see the most of)

↑ Related to a childhood trauma?

....not be a specific kind of magic

....to monitor the amount of food he eats

.... and looks up to, but soundly dismisses

...with students in other classes

.... n: leading a healthy school life

....re concerns at this time

...e walks to school remains unclear

...every moment during the flying

...improving physical prowess

...(contin)ue to monitor collaboration with

...action with Sabro Sabnok

...ffect during his evil cycle

...Clara Valac's mystifying games

...-physical health

[Note: So Kalego has for sure noticed that Iruma eats and snacks an ungodly amount. I'm not sure if the 'childhood trauma' comment is in relation to that, but given the first three lines are lumped together I would say yes. It's Kalego speculating why he eats so much and presumably ruling out it being for magical reasons.

Second paragraph, uh, Iruma needs to make more friends in other classes? lol That said, Kalego does not appear to have any actual pressing concerns and Iruma is doing fine at school on a social level despite that.

Kalego has also noticed that Iruma walks to school and very noticeably did not fly in the flying race. Doesn't know why, but he is noticing. It's a good thing Kalego is aware that Iruma is human now and never tried to put him in flight classes b/c oh no. That would have been bad.

Also Kalego noticing Iruma interacting with classmates like Sabro and Clara, and his willingness to, indulge them ig.]

[progmanx]

I'm gonna lay all of this out right now so it is on the record, and I probably should have done this last week when I actually saw that Ch115 of Black Lagoon was out (and that apparently all of the previously untranslated ones had been translated officially on Viz in like March??? Is the series ending or are they just doing this for everything?) but hear me out:

Majeur is Yukio's older sister.

Okay. I'll explain. I know, "just because they are both from Japan doesn't mean they're related!" and I agree. This would not have crossed my mind if not for the GIANT KABUKI TATTOO on her upper body.

We're gonna circle back to this. Keep it in your brain. Also, I can't believe it but Rei Hiroe actually crafted a scenario where swimsuits were entirely necessary to the story.

That is not a joke. We're gonna get there. Need to set some things up for you.

Majeur apparently had a younger sister according to her former comrades, and the previous Auriculaire (the blonde that kept screaming Majeur was a lesbian) was someone she was so protective of she is still not okay about her death in "L'homme Sombre".

I do not have Vol 12 digitally, so trust me on this one.

I must've read 114 and 115 about fifteen times at this point because I kept finding little things that are so damned interesting (that's a different discussion but no surprise I love it) and at first I'm thinking "well this is the calm before the storm" because that's a no brainer. The comparisons between Revy and Majeur, and the little jokes about "it'll be confusing if one of us dies because we both have tattoos, are Asian women, and you want to ALSO have two guns?" and just a ton of other small and large things would, in any other story, be giant death flags for Revy.

I don't think that's where we're going. I think it's somewhere WAY more interesting considering we already know Majeur's #1 priority is survival and has no real loyalty to Balalaika.

Because all of these little pieces (the diving, teaching her to tie the rope, how the city works; basically everything she ever taught Rock and a few things she learned from Rock...) start to add up about Revy's growth as a person, and how many callbacks and connections are being made to the entirety of the story, combined with Revy breaking up a barfight before it starts between Majeur and Eda (holy shit???) and it paints a picture that is screaming right in our face.

Classic Hitchcock suspense. The bomb under the dinner table that the guests don't know about, but we do. We don't know when it will go off. Only that it will.

Gonna hit you with some stuff.

I don't think it is an accident that Revy's "dream" is wanting people to shoot her in the face and not the back, because she sure as hell lives by it.

I don't think it is an accident that Revy explicitly mentions she has been to Japan in front of Majeur and recognizes the word kabuki (remember!!!) I don't think it is an accident that Majeur is about to say her name at the end of 113 and Rock stops her, trying to be a "cool guy" because on the one hand he is correct, you can be someone else.

Start over. He did. Revy did. Dutch totally did. Balalaika did. Feng did. On the other hand, narratively, what is the one name that exists for a Japanese person to have that would carry any significance?

The one name that the only two people in existence would hear and have a visceral reaction to, as they are the only ones who know what actually happened?

Washimine.

Yukio Washimine.

It gets better, though. Remember that kabuki tattoo? I could go into what each one represents, and they're pretty neat, but more importantly...

He's quoting the play "Sukeroku". Listen, you don't do this TWICE. You don't show us this super specific thing TWICE and not have it be a giant neon sign. This is no damned accident, and it makes sense.

Jane came back. Roberta came back. Why not Tokyo? Throw in Takenaka (this would be INSANE and I am so here for it) and you've got the full set.

Majeur asking about honor when she's taken hostage by Rock, Revy, and Shenua and Rock's response being "That's a mafia thing" suddenly has quite a bit more weight to it.

We know the Washimine group were without a proper leader for a long time, which is what lead to their desperation in calling in Hotel Moscow to deal with the Kosa Kai. A teensy bit of conjecture, but "things happened" is probably about "my dad, the Yakuza boss, was murdered and I fled the country"

Why did Yukio stay behind? Could be that they're half-sisters. Same dad, different moms. Could be a lot of things.

Yukio took up the mantle, Chaka got his hands chopped off, Balalaika holds Rock at gunpoint in a parking garage, etc. We know that story; it's absolutely amazing and needs no reiteration even this many years later.

What does this mean? Why does this matter? Well, Majeur and Ginji both went up against Balalaika and Revy. The latter is dead because he had a reason to live; he wasn't focused on survival.

Majeur? She lost her Yukio. The first time was literal. The second time was in Nigeria. She stopped trying to go after Balalaika and Revy because there wasn't any point to it. She had no one to protect. No one to fight for.

And there's one more thing...

Yeah, man. I think this is essentially Yukio back from hell itself to take revenge on Balalaika. Revy's just the one who shot Ginji. She isn't responsible for the complete eradication of the Washimine group, and she has been trying to help Majeur because she obviously sees way too much of who she used to be in her.

Rock helped Garcia with Roberta, and they told him to fuck off...and rightfully so. It got dark. What dragged him out of the funk? Helping himself, Feng, in a way that was far less destructive and much more productive. What I imagine some have forgotten is that Revy also had an expy (this whole series is just parallel and intersecting character arcs and foils with the strangers who come to down I love it so so much) that told her to fuck off just as much, if not much more effectively and painfully: Fabiola.

Fabiola never needed her help. She just thought she did. Majeur actually does benefit from Revy's advice because, shockingly enough, she isn't filled with nearly as much hate or bitterness as she used to be.

Feng and Majeur were basically the 'second chances' for Rock and Revy respectively, after "The Dance of Death". Take it back further, and this whole thing really could have been trying to make up for how things went down in Tokyo, as Yukio and Ginji were far more explicit and direct foils than Roberta, Garcia, and Fabiola ever were.

And this isn't even getting into the Balalaika side of things. That's a whole other conversation. God, I love this series so damned much!

Revy making a bet with Balalaika with Majeur as the---oh, shit, right, I don't have Vol 12 digitally, but you just have to trust me that Hiroe did bring the "people are like dice" concept again, but it was REVY who did it. It was when they're driving Majeur after she starts talking, and Revy responds with something like "Why do you care? You already threw your dice."

Majeur has direct access to Balalaika at some point in the future. She has the perfect ticking time bomb of a motive to want her dead, and Revy's gamble might make Majeur too well connected and too skilled to be stopped before it is way too late.

No idea how this will pan out, but I fucking love this series.

[suzuran777]

Machine translation tools for Japanese visual novels (2022)

Hi! Today I wanted to share some useful translations tools I have been using to play Japanese visual novels. I found many other guides, but most of them were published over 8 years ago and seemed a little bit outdated. Therefore I thought it would be a good idea to share some of the tools I have been using in the past two years. I have only used them for BL visual novels so far, but they have all been working pretty well! These days we are lucky to get official English releases of visual novels and I recommend supporting these, but there are a lot of games that have not been translated yet. 

Machine translation might not be perfect, but it has definitely improved a lot within the past couple of years and it gives people the opportunity to play these untranslated games.

Textractor

Can be downloaded here for free.

One of the newer tools I have been using for a couple of years now. Very easy to use. you just open the game and Textractor, press ‘’Attach to game’’ and select which game you want. The dropdown menu next to it should now show multiple hooks. 

You might want to skip through some text in the game to find one that works correctly, but usually it is pretty easy to find one that works. In the example below I’m using it together with LoveDelivery’s new game Tokyo 24 Ku.

In some cases it doesn’t immediately show a correct hook, so you might need to add a custom one. In this example I will be using Slow Damage’s Japanese version. I’m aware it’s getting an official translation, but keep in mind it’s just an example of how to use these hooks/translation tools. Also please skip through the tutorial of the game first (when Taku appears and wakes Towa up)

> Open the textractor folder and look for a text file called ''Saved Hooks''. If you don't have it don’t worry, you can just create a new text file and give it the same name. 

>The next thing you should do is to find the folder Slow Damage is installed in and copy the file path. Then paste this in the ''Saved Hooks'' text document.

> Find the hook code. These can usually be found on forums like Aarinfantasy. Slow Damage’s code is  /HS65001#-1C@5C40:slowdamage.exe

>The ‘’Saved Hooks’’ text document should look something like this now. Make sure the spacing and everything is exactly like the picture below or it might not work.

>If you open your game (Slow Damage in this case) this new hook should appear in the dropdown menu. You might have to try a few of them before you get the right one, make sure to check that it hooks all of the Japanese text and doesn’t skip any.

> After doing this check again if the new hook works. If it works it should look something like the screenshot below. If it’s still skipping certain parts of the dialogue (mostly the hiragana and katakana) the hook isn’t working yet.

>Alternative solution: I’ve heard from a couple of people that this method sometimes doesn’t work, but they found alternative solutions. First copy the hook code mentioned above. After this select ‘’Add Hook’’ in Textractor.

Translation Aggregator

Can be downloaded for free here

An older tool that was previously used a lot with other tools like ITH. One of the reasons I didn’t put ITH in this list is because some versions of it stopped working for me after switching to a Windows 10 PC, so I think it’s just not very reliable to recommend it anymore when newer tools exist.

Translation Aggregator itself doesn't hook the text, though it does translate it. This means you need another tool like ITH or Textractor to hook it for you. I sometimes use Translation Aggregator because Textractor still gets a little bit buggy when you're playing certain games. One of the main problem I ran into is that it sometimes stops translating. In this case you can open Translation Aggregator and select different machine translation tools. Unfortunately it's a pretty old program so not all the translators work anymore, but some of the version I linked above still do. Make sure to press the icon next to the translator’s name so it automatically translates the text Textractor copies to your clipboard. It should look like the picture below (the screen on the right.)

Sugoi Translator

Can be downloaded for free here, first link in the ‘’about’’ section.

One of the newest translations tools I have been trying recently. I have to say I'm very impressed with this one because it has an offline mode and also uses DeepL, one of the best machine translations you'll get. This one works pretty similarly to Translation Aggregator, but the quality of the translations and the interface is in my opinion quite an improvement. I could explain how to use it together with Textractor and DeepL, but you can watch an instruction video about that here! I think it's much easier to watch this than to follow text instructions. They have their own Discord server too, so I recommend joining it and asking questions there if you have any! It can be found in the description of the video.

Others

There's of course many other tools you could use, but these are the three I'm personally using at the moment. In the past I've used ITH and ITH VNR in combination with Translation Aggregator, which still works for a lot of older games. I'm sure there's still downloads of this available if you Google it. Another tool I've used for quite some time is Visual Novel Reader. I think you can actually play some English fan translations if you install this one. I just haven't used it for a long time, but it's probably worth checking out if the methods mentioned above don't work! 

Once again just sharing my personal list of tools I use to play these games :) but I hope it could help someone! 

[aflyingcontradiction]

The Magnus Archives Relisten: Episode 102 - Nesting Instinct

Elias: Look, Jon, I understand you’re upset.

I think 'Having been kidnapped and threatened with death for a month straight' is somewhat beyond 'upset' territory, but that's just me.

Elias: I’ll see if I can hunt down a few relevant statem– Ugh.

The transcript I'm reading has Elias's sound when he realises Melanie is coming for him with a knife as "Ahh" but I really feel like "Ugh" represents the noise he actually makes much better. He sounds so thoroughly annoyed and done with her.

Elias: Yes. Again. Even more than the others she has a visceral hatred of being trapped. Regardless of how much freedom I afford her.

You know what? When you put it that way FUCKING FAIR! I get you, Melanie!

Melanie: No! But the way I see it, the police seem really keen not to investigate crimes committed here. Elias: That’s actually fair.

Pfffft.

All told, he was a pathetic, lonely man desperate for any human connection. A connection I had no intention of offering him. - Statement of François Deschamps

Wow, dude, you just told us your colleague is so desperately lonely he hides to CRY when he sees a child because of how badly he wants and cannot have a family and you react with this level of disdain? Jeez, dude, dick move much!

Through all of it, he would talk incessantly to anyone who would listen about this woman who had apparently changed his life, “mon petit scarabée”, his little beetle.

You know what, let Benoit live happily ever after with his little beetle, he seems to be doing just fine! Happier than ever before! (Also, it's notable how deeply connected to the feeling of love the Corruption tends to be. At least the infestation-flavoured Corruption, the infection-flavoured Corruption doesn't really have that association. Of course, many avatars tend to have some feelings of awe and love toward their "patron" but it's really most blatant with the Corruption. It snatches up the desperately lonely and provides them with a connection they can feel within themselves - deep, deep within themselves. You know, from that perspective I get it. I mean, the Hive grosses me the fuck out and imagining being infested makes me retch, but I too sometimes feel sadness about how incredibly lonely people - and myself - inherently are in their own minds.)

I am… telling you my story, since you have asked so nicely

So does "asked so nicely" translate to "You compelled me but I don't want to admit that because the idea is too terrifying", here? I suspect so!

I should have been more suspicious of this man, too old for his poorly dyed hair, leading me to an old woman who promised me answers in exchange for an address.

I adore Gerard and his dye job that is so bad that apparently everyone who meets him feels the need to comment on it.

You tried to cross-examine me about things I didn’t understand: “Étranger ou la saleté?”

I wonder whether they decided to leave this particular bit of dialogue untranslated specifically to hide-but-not-really from the listeners what it is that Gertrude is actually asking here for the drama factor.

This is written in French. A-All of it. I don’t… I don’t speak French. I-I don’t read… I’ve never… - Jon

Okay, I have ISSUES with this (as with most media featuring mysterious translation powers or universal translators or similar things) and my primary issue is: Why, if the entire statement is written in French and Jon is somehow flawlessly reading an English translation of it (which is not how sight translation works but I'll accept it) are there bits of the text that are STILL IN FRENCH FOR THE DRAMA EFFECT? Why does Jon's BeholdingTranslate suddenly fail for two seconds when it would be aesthetically pleasing to remind the listener that the events happened in France. It's inconsistent is what it is!

I can see why with limited information Mr. Deschamps’ account could lend itself to either interpretation: sudden appearance of a vague and previously unknown figure inserting itself into someone’s life on the one hand, and on the other… bugs and bad smells. Let it never be said the Hive and its ilk are subtle. - Jon

The juxtaposition is pretty funny. (And yeah, no, the Hive is not subtle.)

Jon: No. No, no, I’m… I’m okay. Just – I mean my skin’s in better condition than… ever.

Poor Jon will never be able to moisturise again without getting flashbacks.

Martin: Melanie seems okay, but I get the feeling she’s… I don’t know, planning something? Jon: I – I got that feeling too.

Pffffffffffffffft!

My impression of this episode

The pre-statement conversation of Jon and Elias is pretty amazing, just a rapid sequence of comment and response, emotions flaring, snark and counter-snark and whatever Elias's standard tone could be described as, and occasionally actual information exchanged. It's highly enjoyable! And that's before you add Melanie into the mix, who makes the whole scene EVEN MORE INTENSE. The statement itself is just ... weird. That's a high bar for TMA statements but the entire presentation of "Man married to the Corruption" is just really fucking odd. Like, not particularly unsettling, not hard to understand like some of the more avantgarde statements, not bad in the least, just ... fucking weird. Memorable, certainly! And then the post-statement conversation of Martin and Jon is ... awkward but in a somewhat sweet rather than excruciating way.

[kaialone]

Yokai Watch 4 ++ Translation

This will contain major story spoilers for Yo-kai Watch 4, specifically part of its main story and the recent ++ (Pura Pura) update, so proceed with caution.

With that being said, this will be a translation of certain new additions to the lore of Enma's family.

For a bit of context, this translation will cover optional dialogue that can be seen after befriending Shien.

Shien has a chance of being befriended when you beat him during the Busters Mission "日の影に眠り魔王" ("The Demon King Sleeping in the Shadow of the Sun".)

During the scene in which Shien is befriended, it's explained that the reason why he can exist seperately from Enma is that this Shien is actually the "evil heart" of the original Shien, while Enma was born from the "good heart".

After you've befriended Shien, you can find Enma in the new area Hell's Kitchen, located in the Yōmakai (Yo-kai World) of the past.

The dialogue I've translated occurs if you talk to him.

Bolded is the original Japanese

Bolded and italicized is my translation.

(Number) Indicates I got a specific comment to make on that part in the translation notes.

You can find a video showing this dialogue in the source link of this post.

Also, it should go without saying, but this might also be a bit harder to understand if you're not already familiar with the previously established Enma lore, from works such as Yo-kai Watch 1 and 3.

--

Talking to Enma at Hell's Kitchen:

Enma: あっ 妖怪探偵団じゃないか。 ん？ なんでこんなトコにいるのかって？ Oh hey, it's the Yōkai Detective Team. Hm? What am I doing here, you ask?

Enma: オレもお前たちがバスターズを始めたっていう 釜ゆで地獄ってのを 見てみたくなってな。 I wanted to look around Hell's Kitchen too, just like you got the Busters to do. (1)

Enma: …ははっ 本当は 礼を言いにきたのさ。 『もうひとつの心』を開放してくれた お前たちに。 ...Haha, I actually came to thank you guys. For freeing the "other heart".

Enma: そしてお前たちには 伝えておきたいんだ。 オレたち 閻魔の一族についてな…。 And there's something I want to tell you. About us, the Enma clan...

Enma: まずは オレと 『紫炎』の真実について話そうか。 ちょっとばかり長くなるが 聞いてもらえるか？ First I gotta tell you the truth about me and "Shien". This might be a bit long, but will you listen?

Dialogue Option: 『紫炎』について 話を聞きたい！ I want to know about "Shien"!

Enma: 紫炎は… お前たちも知っての通り かつて この時代で敗れ 空亡に取り込まれた。 As you already know... Shien was once defeated in this era, and consumed by Soranaki.

Enma: 実は そのときに… 紫炎の心は『２つ』に分かれたんだ。 And actually, at that moment... Shien's heart was split into two.

Enma: そのひとつ… 紫炎の『良き心』は イツキと融合し 夜叉エンマとなり… 王としての本当の強さを知った。 One of those... Shien's "good heart", fused with Itsuki and became Yasha Enma... now knowing the true strength of a king.

Enma: そう お前たち妖怪探偵団のおかげでな。 その後 オレはこうして 生まれ変わることができた。 Yes, that was thanks to your Yōkai Detective Team. After that, I was reincarnated like this.

Enma: そして オレは閻魔大王の孫として育てられた。 煌めく炎を宿す者… 『煌炎』という名を与えられて。 And I was raised as the Great King Enma's grandson. I was given the name "Kōen"... one who harbours a sparkling flame. (2)

Enma: 一方 もうひとつの… 紫炎の『悪しき心』は 別の生まれ変わりの輪に 取り込まれたんだ。 Meanwhile, the other one... Shien's "evil heart", got taken into a seperate cycle of reincarnation.

Enma: だが 紫炎の存在は 『影歴史』という禁呪で 永らく封じられ その魂も眠りつづけていた。 But Shien's existence was sealed away for a long time, by a hex called "Shadow History", so this soul has been sleeping, too. (3)

Enma: その 眠りし紫炎の魂がよみがえり 地獄をさまよい… こうして お前たちが救ってくれたのさ。 That sleeping soul of Shien was revived, and wandered through hell... And then it was saved by you guys.

Enma: とはいえ… まさか紫炎の『悪しき心』すら 『ともだち』にするなんてな。 Though... I can't believe you actually became "friends" with Shien's "evil heart".

Enma: フッ… さすがは オレやカイラが見込んだ 伝説のウォッチ使いってワケだ。 Heh... That sorta thing is why me and Kaira put our trust in you legendary Watch users.

Translation Notes:

The Busters are known as the Blasters in the English localizations.

The name 煌炎/Kōen is made of the kanji  煌, meaning “sparkling”, and 炎, meaning “flame”. So its meaning is more obvious in Japanese.

For the purpose of this translation, I translated “Shadow History” literally, but since it’s a proper name, one could arguably leave it untranslated, if one so chooses. For the reference, its Japanese name is read as 影歴史/Kagerekishi.

--

Talking to Enma again:

Enma: 妖怪探偵団のおかげで 紫炎の魂は救われた。 お前たちには 伝えておかなきゃいけないことがある。 Thanks to your Yōkai Detective Team, Shien's soul was saved. There is something I need to tell you.

Enma: 紫炎と オレたち閻魔の一族についての真実…。 長くなるかもしれないが 聞いてもらえるか？ The truth about Shien and us, the Enma clan... This could be long, but will you listen anyway?

Dialogue Option: 『影歴史』って いったい何…？ What exactly does "Shadow History" mean...?

Enma: 閻魔一族 ミカド族には いくつかの秘術がある。 『影歴史』とは その秘術のひとつだ。 The Enma clan, so, the Mikado Tribe, knows several secret arts. "Shadow History" is one of those.

Enma: 『影歴史』の術は 唱えられた者の存在を 妖怪たちの あらゆる歴史と記憶から消し去る禁呪…。 The art of "Shadow History" is a hex which erases the existence of the one it's used on from all history and memory of the yōkai.

Enma: いわば 歴史の『シャドウサイド』に封じ込めて 「なかったことにする」っていう とんでもない術さ。 I guess you could say that it seals away the "shadowside" of history, and "makes it so it never happened". It's one heck of a technique.

Enma: ミカド族でありながら 大罪を犯した紫炎は… この『影歴史』で 一度存在を消されていたんだ。 While he is of the Mikado Tribe, Shien commited a grave sin... So his existence was once erased by "Shadow History".

Enma: 実は この秘術によって オレやぬらりさえも 紫炎の存在を 完全に忘れちまってたのさ。 Actually, because of that secret art, even me and Nurari had completely forgotten about Shien's existence. (1)

Enma: だが… あの空亡が 歴史を改変しようと企み お前たちがそれを止め… 歴史はさらに変わった。 But... when Soranaki tried to alter history, and was stopped by you guys... history changed again.

Enma: つまり お前たちの活躍で『影歴史』は回避され 紫炎が 歴史から消されることもなくなったんだ。 Basically, thanks to your efforts, the "Shadow History" was avoided, and the fact that Shien got erased from history was also undone.

Enma: こうして 紫炎についての記憶が戻ったあと オレはその『もうひとつの心』を さがしつづけた。 So, after my memories about Shien returned, I kept looking for the "other heart".

Enma: そして… お前たちのおかげで オレたち『閻魔の子』は 再び巡り会うことができた。 And then... thanks to you guys, we "Children of Enma" were able to meet once more.

Enma: またしても お前たちに救われたよ。 …ありがとな。 You saved us again. ...Thanks.

Translation Note:

Nurarihyon, whom Enma calls by the nickname “Nurari”, is simply called Zazel in the English localizations.

--

Talking to Enma one more time:

Enma: 妖怪探偵団のおかげで 紫炎の魂は救われた。 お前たちには 伝えておかなきゃいけないことがある。 Thanks to your Yōkai Detective Team, Shien's soul was saved. There is something I need to tell you.

Enma: 紫炎と オレたち閻魔の一族についての真実…。 長くなるかもしれないが 聞いてもらえるか？ The truth about Shien and us, the Enma clan... This could be long, but will you listen anyway?

Dialogue Option: 『閻魔の子』の 秘密が知りたい… I want to know the secret about the "Children of Enma"...

Enma: ミカド族の血を引く者… 『閻魔の子』たちは ちょっと 複雑な事情をかかえてることが多くてな。 There's lots of sorta complicated things about the "Children of Enma"... descendants of the Mikado Tribe.

Enma: ほら オレも じいちゃんの実の孫じゃないだろ？ お前たちと 一部の妖怪のみが知ってる話だけどな。 See, I'm not even really Grandpa's grandson, right? Though only you guys and a few yōkai know about that.

Enma: そして オレが閻魔の後継者とされ 数十年経った頃… オレの他に 閻魔の血を継ぐ子が生まれてな。 And some decades later, during the time when I was the Enma successor, another child who carries the blood of Enma was born.

Enma: だが… オレの弟ともいえる そいつの魂には… 紫炎の『もうひとつの心』が宿っていたんだ。 I suppose you could call him my little brother... But his soul... it harbored Shien's "other heart".

Enma: そいつは 紫炎の『悪しき心』が目覚めぬよう 妖魔の力を封じされ 人間界へと送られた。 To make sure he doesn't awaken Shien's "evil heart", his demonic power was sealed, and he was sent to the human world. (1)

Enma: そして 人間として生きることになったんだ。 『影歴史』で 紫炎の存在は 忘れ去られたけどな…。 And so he ended up living as a human. Though of course, he forgot Shien's existence because of "Shadow History".

Enma: だが その『影歴史』 の力で作られた閻魔帳によって 怪事件が起き ��いつ自身も消されてしまった。 But, there was this strange incident where his own existence was also erased, by the Enma Book created with the power of "Shadow History". (2)

Enma: その事件は ケータの協力で解決して そいつも 助けることができたんだが… That incident was resolved with Kēta's help, and we were able to save him too, but... (3)

Enma: 実は そのときに 紫炎の『悪しき心』も 眠りから目覚め 解き放たれてしまったんだ。 At the same time, Shien's "evil heart" also woke up from its sleep and was unleashed.

Enma: しかし お前たちのおかげで その『悪しき心』とすら 『ともだち』になることができた。 But thanks to you, even that "evil heart" could become a "friend".

Enma: 今の紫炎なら そいつに戻ってもいいかもしれないな。 その名には 紫炎の名が刻まれていたのだから。 The way Shien is now, it would probably be fine to go back to him, too. Shien's name is engraved into his name, you know.

Enma: 閻魔の一族 ミカド族の象徴たる太陽… その影に眠りし魔王…… The symbol of the Enma clan, the Mikado Tribe, is the sun... A demon king slumbers in its shadow...

Enma: 日影 真生と。 So, Hikage Mao. (4, 5)

Translation Notes:

What I translated as demonic power is called 妖魔の力/yōma no chikara in Japanese. Literally, it means “yōma power”, with “yōma” being a word somewhat synonymous to the word “yōkai”, but is also sometimes translated as “demon” or the like.

This is referring to the Enma Note quests from Yo-kai Watch 3. Also, the word Enma Book here is 閻魔帳/Enmachō, which refers to the book that Enma is depicted with in actual Japanese mythology.

Kēta is know as Nate in the English localizations.

The play on words with Hikage Mao here is more obvious in Japanese. 日/hi can mean “sun”, while 影/kage means “shadow”, and the given name 真生/Mao sounds similar to 魔王/Maō, meaning “demon king”.

The character Hikage Mao is known as Lucas Schiffer in the English localizations.

--

[takaraphoenix]

Review: The Rise of Skywalker

Gotta preface this before we get to the actual review for this movie.

Because... I’ve seen so many people claim that this was sooo bad and sooo badly written and honestly, ever since I joined this fandom, I’ve seen so much hate toward the sequels and so many people claim how they’re “ruining Star Wars” and I feel like... a whole lot of people really need to divorce themselves from the idea that Star Wars ever was this flawless franchise. Because it wasn’t.

Even before the sequels, the majority of this fandom has actively hated half the movies in this franchise. The prequels get so much shit all the time. And even now with the new movies, trilogies aside, Rogue One is relatively widely liked but Solo gets the prequel treatment of having a certain part of the fandom love it wildly and the majority dislike it.

Star Wars, from the very first one on, was always a mixed bag of good moments and bad movies, good writing and bad writing. It was always just a very silly, fun space adventure and I don’t really see why there are these insanely high expectations for it are coming from, because I don’t see a base for them in the previous movies...?

That being said, I think that Rise of Skywalker was a very worthy ending for the universe. And yes, not trilogy, universe. I know they’ll force more Star Wars, but let’s be real... the last Skywalker died, this is the end of this saga. And I think it was a good ending, it came full-circle in many aspects.

I joked about how Rey would find her dad just for him to die since so far she’s two for two in the “finding mentor and mentor dies within this movie” category and while... they didn’t find her dad, she did build a mentor-relationship with Leia. Who then died.

And I know this one is... different than the others, because Carrie Fisher died, rather unexpectedly so. I wonder if it had changed things had she lived.

I was genuinely surprised to see her in the movie, to be honest. I had expected the obnoxious opening text to summarize how Leia made a heroic sacrifice and the movie itself then opening to a large, dignified funeral scene for both, the character and the actress who played her.

I liked that they brought Lando into this; with everyone else having returned, that was really important. And I kind of like the little thing they set up at the end there, that Lando would take the enslaved kids and help them find their way back to the families they had been separated from.

Ben’s redemption was absolutely no surprise whatsoever, seriously this is a Disney movie and it’s a Star Wars movie, they were always going to redeem him anyway. The Reylo, admittedly, was a bit of a surprise.

With the whole thing where Finn really wanted to tell Rey something and how Finn and Rose were at a distance now after the last movie, I half thought they may be pushing toward that direction after all.

(I also half thought they were going to go Poe/Rey because... for some reason they decided to have that dynamic just fully mirror Han/Leia... even though it seemed wildly OoC to me personally, for the both of them, to be so... short-tempered with someone?)

But mentioning Rose, that was one thing I didn’t like. After how important she had been last movie, she was just completely reduced to background character now and it was very undeserved. She didn’t partake in the missions, though they had them at least ask her to go along, she barely got anything to do and didn’t really get to interact with any of them, not even really Finn. And don’t get me wrong, I didn’t want that romance, but I definitely wanted that friendship - and I had hopes that now that they were all united, I’d get some female bonding and girls being friends between Rey and Rose. But they kind of... forgot that they made her a main character last movie.

I think that hinting at Poe having a past-lover-he-may-still-love was tiresome and unnecessary, but it’s Disney so I genuinely wasn’t expecting that not to happen. Especially with how wildly loved Stormpilot was; I mean come on that was the only reason the Finn/Rose happened last movie already, because Disney got uncomfortable with people shipping Them Gays. My shipper-heart however absolutely took the co-generals and ran with it.

(Don’t get me started on that bullshit 0.2 second scene of two women kissing in the background. Genuinely fuck you, Disney, that’s not representation, that’s having something so you can try to defend yourself when people call you homophobes for always forgetting gays exist, but it was little enough so you can easily cut it out to milk China for money.)

I wished they would have... given Finn more. When we had that scene of him alone with that other deserting Stormtrooper and they talked and clicked so well, I kind of hoped she was his sister - since they had taken all the children. And I don’t know, I’m still kind of really hung up on the whole child slavery thing and all the trauma Finn had gone through; I wish he would have gotten something as closure.

There was one thing I genuinely absolutely hated and that was the bullshit Palpatine thing.

Don’t get me wrong, it’s still 100% on brand for Star Wars and I legit should have seen it coming after they plastered his ugly mug onto every poster, but that doesn’t make it good writing.

However - to stay in line with my opening preface - it already wasn’t good writing the first time around. I still dislike the whole “Luke, I am your father” nonsense. I absolute loathe the trope of “hero has to face off dark family member they didn’t even know was a family member”, it’s so cheap and forced because just how fucking likely is it, that all circumstances led them there?

That Rey, of all people, ran into Finn and got to the Resistance to get involved in this whole war to face off against her evil grandpa? C’mon.

Really genuinely from the bottom of my heart would have preferred Rey Nobody.

But that’s... the things you gotta accept in Star Wars, so I digress.

What I am absolutely not over is how they just straight up made Reylo soulmates...? Like? They really did that? I mean, come on, explaining their literal mind-link as them being two halves of the same and as bringing life? How was that anything but a description of soulmates...? Amazing.

I’m very salty about them killing Ben off though.

I absolutely hate that lazy writing tool of taking a villain, making him do a redeeming thing and bahm they will now be celebrated a hero without having to do much work on making up for past wrong-doings. Instead of living a life of doing good to make up for their past, they just do the Heroic Sacrifice and the writers are done here. (Side-eying Luke Castellan particularly hard here.)

He should have lived. Especially with how they set it up! They both give life, they both belong together to give life? How did that not conclude in them sharing a life-force...? Ben should have lived so he can do good in the future.

I like when previously villainous characters have to work to make up for their past deeds. I really do.

One last thing before I’m done! I HAVE A FAVORITE DROID! I LOVE D-0. HE’S A GOOD BOY. *^*

One of the most obnoxious things about the original trilogy, for me, were the droids. I do not like either C-3PO or R2D2 (yes, R2 looks adorable, but the untranslated beeping, especially in longer sequences and conversations, was just obnoxious).

BB-8 is adorable and has that dog-like charm to him, but that D-0 actually talks and is so cute? Like, unused to human kindness but slowly learning about it? Now that is a good droid.

So... I think that’s all I have to say about the movie? It was a good ending to the saga, it went full-circle by revealing that Palpatine was behind it all along and we got rid of that bitch for good now, it gave a lot of closure and had some really got points in it.

[marymosley]

Linguists Successfully Decipher Ancient Minoan Language “Linear A”

By Darren Smith, Weekend Contributor

In what might surely be viewed as one of the potentially greatest breakthroughs in linguistics in recent years, scientists have finally deciphered the ancient Minoan Language known as “Linear A“, a previously untranslated ancient writing system used from 1800 to 1450 BCE. A new technique using, of all things, a vast collection of commerce related email of today provided a template for the discovery.

Partially due to this lack of translation, the Minoan culture remained obscured and cloaked in mystery. But linguists found much more than expected when they concurrently discovered the proximate cause of the abandonment of Linear A by the Minoans and its replacement with Linear B, the language of Mycenaean Greece.

For brevity purposes a synopsis of Linear A from its Wikipedia Article follows:

Linear A – Wikipedia

Linear A has been unearthed chiefly on Crete, but also at other sites in Greece, as well as Turkey and Israel. The extant corpus, comprising some 1,427 specimens totalling 7,362 to 7,396 signs, if scaled to standard type, would fit easily on two sheets of paper. Linear A has been written on various media, such as stone offering tables, gold and silver hairpins, and ceramics. The earliest inscriptions of Linear A come from Phaistos, in a layer dated at the end of the Middle Minoan II period: that is, no later than c. 1700 BCE. Linear A texts have been found throughout the island of Crete and also on some Aegean islands (Kythera, Kea, Thera, Melos), in mainland Greece (Ayos Stephanos), on the west coast of Asia Minor (Miletos, Troy), and in the Levant (Tel Haror).

While the best minds have until today been unable to arrive at a difinitive method of translation, linguists at the J.J.E. Institute of Advanced Greek Studies used an ancient stone tablet having epigraphy believed to be of Linear A and, using this as a template, parsed it through millions of e-mail messages in the hopes that pattern recognition software might return matches in terms deriving possibly grammer similarities or other nuances.

It seemed that modern technology and today’s Internet actually proved the better with the linguists: they discovered of all things that a very ubiquitous form of e-mail proved to be with the tablet a Rosetta Stone of such for Linear A as it was for the latter in Ancient Egyptian and Demotic. With that, the translation of nearly all of the script and ligatures previously unknown fell into place.

Now for the world to see, the first tablet to be translated from Linear A, derived from the e-mail templates collected since 1995, reads as follows:

Mr. Anakopi, Official Scribe, City of Buhan, Nubia

My Dear Sir,

My sincere hope is that the Gods find you well and that prosperity has brought you kind rewards.

My name is Anakopi and I am the official scribe for the Nubian Prince Manahotep and a trusted vassal of the great wealth of the Eleventh Dynasty situated at Buhan. We are a great empire but a terrible pall has befallen our kingdom since the great famine and locust storms which resulted in much civil unrest. I have been forced by necessity to seek a repository for the gold and silver of our treasury, to protect our Prince from plunder by such unwashed masses seeking advantage. In all of Nubia and specifically Kush, I cannot locate a single honest man to trust with such wealth–who can act as an intermediary until the crops return and Ra gives us his blessing.

I am therefore seeking a reliable person to act as a receiver of much of Nubia’s wealth, for a short time, for which I will kindly offer a percentage for your services. I propose to send by trusted caravan the sum of one hundred twenty four thousand pounds of gold, twenty five hundred silver ingots, four cubit boxes of rubies, and fourteen doe-eyed virgins, forthwith to you to be held in trust until stability has been restored to our kingdom.

I only ask that this offer be held in the strictest confidence as rumors of such a transfer could make the Gods believe my Nubian Prince to be weak and he may be deposed. If you agree to hold our wealth I am prepared to use my influence with the Prince to allocate 35% of the Gold, Silver Ingots, and Rubies to you as payment. And the Doe-eyed Virgins, well, I suppose he might look the other way as far as their repatriation goes.

But what I need to know is that my assessment of you as an honest citizen of Crete is accurate and I need to fund the caravan so that it might deliver this wealth for you to hold on our behalf. The journey is long as it is treacherous, so we must ensure safe delivery. To help defer the cost the caravan, if you could kindly send to my agent via Cyprus as many sheep, cattle, Gold Dust, Amphorae of wine, and bronze daggers as you can muster, the Nubian Empire will be forever in your debt.

My agent can be found at the last pier at Zakros. Please bring the Gold Dust, wine and cattle with you. Again, please keep this in strict confidence. Time is short. In Ra we trust. Anakopi ~+~

This lexicon proved to be profound and directly resulted in the further translation of other tablets and stones, especially those believed to be government or otherwise official memoranda.

But what clearly became evident with subsequent translations of the epigraphy was that this Rosetta Stone message for us was a blessing, but for the Linear-A writing Minoans it was a harbinger of disaster for their language.

One epigraph mentioned that port cities all along the Eastern Coast of Crete began witnessing the exodus of livestock and valuables from rural areas, much to the depletion of food reserves. Another described a great row that formed between the city-states and their citizens who demanded war be prosecuted against Egypt due to a rumored blockade by Egypt of Nubian caravans travelling along the Nile and unspecified “business interests” of sheepherders and bronzesmiths on Crete being thwarted.

Further study revealed local officials in Knossos discovered what drove the upheaval in the population was the viral nature of what was labelled “The Nubian Prince Scam”. Tens of thousands of citizens, soldiers, and some local officials themselves got caught-up in the promise of great wealth and lost their entire flocks, wine, and gold reserves. And no amount of education or oration would convince them of their own gullibility.

The so-called “Agents” mentioned earlier seemed to have been rounded up and taken to the centrums of various Minoan cities to be cast in judgment. Citizens were compelled to bring forth their “Nubian Prince” tablets which were crumpled into Ostraka, and scribes compelled to write the name of each “Agent” onto each Ostrakon and with that they were permamently ostracized from Minoan Society. But the damage had been done.

Despite the initial succcess in subverting the Nubian Prince scam, the theft continued for several years. It seemed there was no shortage of shepherds and winemakers who were suckered in to the promise of easy wealth. It seemed Minoan Society was condemned to food shortages and false profits

A last ditch effort was crafted to prevent the scam from ever taking hold again. Wise officials and freemen took the recommendation of the oracles to rid the scorge of the scam. They decided to destroy their own language in the hope that without language, or at least a reference to it, the extinction of their lexicon (known to us as Linear A) would spell doom to this Nubian Prince Scam. All inscriptions were ordered destroyed and the language replaced. “It would seem self-evident…” a prominent city-state official proclaimed, “…that we have successfully rid ourselves and the world of false-pretense and fraud. It will never haunt us again!”

And thus was closed the book on the Linear-A language, a language for twenty-five hundred years remained untranslated. Thankfully, archaeologists in Nigeria found what was revealed to be the “Rosetta Stone” Nubian Prince tablet. But there were rumours it was actually translated in 1995 by a solicitor in Abuja who might have had less than honorable intentions.

Source: The J.J.E. Institute of Advanced Greek Studies.

By Darren Smith

The views expressed in this posting are the author’s alone and not those of the blog, the host, or other weekend bloggers. As an open forum, weekend bloggers post independently without pre-approval or review. Content and any displays or art are solely their decision and responsibility.

Linguists Successfully Decipher Ancient Minoan Language “Linear A” published first on https://immigrationlawyerto.tumblr.com/

[titleknown]

Fictional Products II: Dryguarde’s Ice Cream Truck In A Box

Yes, we’re doing one of these again, though this time it’s a bit different! This time, it involves one product that is actually multiple products!

The Ice Cream Truck In A Box was the result of a confluence of factors thanks to the machinations of one Sullivan Straub. Straub was the CEO of the Dryguarde Ice Cream Company

He’d been involved as a designer for many years and was only appointed as an emergency measure, thanks to the disastrous previous secretly-criminal CEO getting caught using the business as his personal money-laundering ring as he had his others, in a tale too sordid to tell right now, leaving them with quite a few burdens that the previous CEO had acquired as a means of further .

They had deals with a bunch of obscure foreign firms to distribute their products; far too many to effectively market/compete for shelf space, had bought up a previously competitive rival that was now a shambles due to mismanagement before they’d bought it, having produced legions of flops, and there was their own legion of flops produced more to keep funneling money through than to actually sell.

It’s said that Straub came up with the idea for fixing all of this one sunny day while an ice cream truck was rolling down the block. He went to get some, but he’d found out that they’d stocked it with all their old flavors due to how much they were clogging up store shelves and needed to find some way to get rid of them, and he saw the kids.

Though, really, he says that idea happened several eyars before he’d entered the position, but it had been bouncing around in his head for a whilte  bouncing around in his head for a while, and now he wanted to apply it to solve his troubles...

He marketed all these brands in one, high-profile package, a box shaped like an Ice Cream Truck with randomly-inserted ice creams and put out a marketing blitz for it, under the idea of “Now you don't have to chase the truck anymore!”. Though the advertizing, which featured bitter; out of work ice cream men lamenting how they couldn't compete with the Truck and their (ineffectual) attempts to sabotage it, rankled some of their distributors, it was a hit!

While the fact that it was relatively underpriced compared to other ice-cream products thanks to the bulk selection, it helped that they'd had a boost in the form of a very prominent stand-up comedian of the time use it as the centerpiece of an act. Granted, that act was mainly “What in god's name is this bullshit?!” at some of the odder flavors, but publicity is publicity, and it ended up working to their advantage!

And so, it ended up as their flagship product, able to keep them afloat for years while they slowly climbed their way back up; even allowing to test some of their newer flavors that became hits. While there's enough flavors for a second post; not even counting the recent test-marketed revival(s), here's a few of the more notable ones:

Fatty Boy P- The lasting evidence of the previous CEO's dickery, being an equivalent almost to a The Producers-type scheme, this “thick, rich” whitish-pink strawberry-vanilla flavored pop purportedly originally had as its gimmick that it was much thicker and longer than the other brands, the pop looked nothing so much as a penis, and consumers rejected it outright.

The truck, however, did give it a second chance at life, given that people began to realize the taste was actually really delicious, and there was even a second attempt at marketing it outside the truck (Though that failed)

Squash Soda: An attempt at translating the soda flavoring by the Breulen Brothers to sherbert, in the form of a flavorless ice-slurry where kids applied their own flavors; it did not do well due to the relative obscurity of the tie-in and the fact that the flavors often were somewhat off due to production difficulties.

To cut costs, they used generic soda syrup instead of the elaborate flavor-compounds the Breulens' made for the versions produced for the Truck, but this actually worked far better taste-wise than the originals; even the Breulens agreed.

Hell Appels- A Japanese brand thought previously un-distributable in the US thanks to the Satanic imagery in its design, albeit bizarre and abstract in its usage, the gimmick was it was an apple-flavored popsicle shaped like a golden-colored apple, and at the center there was a rolled-up comic, a small plastic scroll with a comic printed on it ala a somewhat larger Bazooka Joe comic with demons, which resembled nothing so much as a short-length bizarro-world bizarrely violent satanic Chick-tract in aesthetics and tone, albeit replacing fundamentalist christianity with anime insanity, usually untranslated in US releases which actually didn't end up making them much more nonsensical than they already were

The comics have ended up as cult classics, though they actually came from a pre-existing work and their story is much longer and much weirder in Japan than in the US, and there's a nice book you can find on the history thereof on AliExpress, if you know where to look.

Blackheads- Always really considered duds, these were small packages of Mochi with a lemon ice-cream center and a black licquorich “cap” on the top, meant to resemble a zit as a part of the gross-out craze of when it was produced. The public then demonstrated that it did have its limits there and even kids did not want to eat the pus of a zit, though, the frankly disgusting mascot design didn't help matters, along with the relatively mediocre taste. Even amongst fans of The Truck, this flavor was quite notoriously a dud, and you never wanted to see a Truck with a bunch of them in there.

Redd Skeletons- Named after the comedian but with a slight naming-tweak, these were still sued out of existence by the man himself over trademark law; only saved by the fact that the Truck's peculiar identity allowed them to get around it, these were relatively simple, vanilla ice cream dyed red between two layers of red velvet-cake flavored cookie, in the shape of a skull.

Simple, disticntive, and what immediately came to mind for most people when you mentioned The Truck.

Beef Roast- A very old brand, as evidenced by the bizarre name, this was simply a very rich “rolled” looking chocolate pop fortified with various “nutrients” and having a hint of odd umami taste, which had its fans but also had its not-fond-of-at-alls.

Spokas- Of course, nobody would defend this flavor, a Mexico-originating chile-flavored thing with a cartoon ghost mascot; despised even in its own country, with a taste that was not only unpleasantly dissonant but also always tasted weirdly like it was contaminated with something even though no tests ever showed it.

Kids always learned to fear “The Ghost,” as it was nicknamed, and reportedly even in its home country it was loathed; only staying afloat thanks to some apparently shady dealings by the proprietor.

Do-Nutz- A flavor that bombed the first time thanks to the deeply unpleasant mascot, who has been described as “sounding like he's coming on to you even when he's not,” the flavor is considered one of the best, something like an ice cream sandwich but with doughnut material; with there being glazed doughnut and cake doughnut varieities, in place of the usual cookie and a flavor combination that most folks say hasn't been replicated ever.

There are many more where that came from, but then that leaves one to ask, what happened to a product that was so popular it even acquired the common nickname of simply “The Truck” in casual conversation?

Simply put, it outlived its use. Despite consistently high sales, the varieties of ice cream they could find to acquire cheaply to put in The Truck was dwindling; people were tiring of the usual flavors; and there's only so many things you can test market through such a thing. And, by the time it became unprofitable to maintain it? They had other, better products, and its creator was long gone from the company by then.

So, they axed it. There were a few test-marketed attempts at bringing it back, but they were deemed either unprofitable or met with lukewarm consumer response. Though, Mr Straub has made waves with a few indications at his new company, there may be a true successor coming, simply known by that old nickname The Truck...

Thank you all so much for reading, apologies for being late! Fun fact, this choice of topic for this week was chosen by my five-dollar backers answering a poll on my Patreon!

So if you wanna get involved in producing these too, feel free to join, where you can get previews, polls, and even commission-y work at the higher tiers!

Every dollar counts, and I appreciate even the smallest donations, so thank you either way!

And, as per usual, feel free to use this fictional product and its history however you’d like, as long as you credit me, Thomas F. Johnson, somewhere as its creator somewhere when ya do!

[artist-zabaleta]

Lost Profiles: Memoirs of Cubism, Dada, and Surrealism

Poet Alan Bernheimer provides a long overdue English translation of this French literary classic—Lost Profiles is a retrospective of a crucial period in modernism, written by co-founder of the Surrealist Movement. Opening with a reminiscence of the international Dada movement in the late 1910s and its transformation into the beginnings of surrealism, Lost Profiles then proceeds to usher its readers into encounters with a variety of literary lions. We meet an elegant Marcel Proust, renting five adjoining rooms at an expensive hotel to "contain" the silence needed to produce Remembrance of Things Past; an exhausted James Joyce putting himself through grueling translation sessions for Finnegans Wake; and an enigmatic Apollinaire in search of the ultimate objet trouvé. Soupault sketches lively portraits of surrealist precursors like Pierre Reverdy and Blaise Cendrars, a moving account of his tragic fellow surrealist René Crevel, and the story of his unlikely friendship with right-wing anti-Vichy critic George Bernanos. The collection ends with essays on two modernist forerunners, Charles Baudelaire and Henri Rousseau. With an afterword by Ron Padgett recounting his meeting with Soupault in the mid 70's and a preface by André Breton biographer Mark Polizzotti, Lost Profiles confirms Soupault's place in the vanguard of twentieth-century literature.

"Philippe Soupault was a central figure in both the Dada and Surrealist movements but throughout his long life walked under no banner except the one of artistic freedom. In this previously untranslated book, he gives us a collection of richly remembered portraits of some of his best-loved friends from the old days of the new modernism. As a glimpse into that time, these lost portraits are invaluable—and often deeply moving."—Paul Auster, author of Report from the Interior

"Reading Alan Bernheimer's splendid translation of Soupault's memoir, I forgot that it was a translation, that it was Soupault writing or talking about another time, about his friends of one century past. I read myself into these vivid and virile (so, sue me!) assaults on time, and Time stopped."—Andrei Codrescu, author of The Posthuman Dada Guide: Tzara and Lenin Play Chess

"Philippe Soupault was present at the creation of both Dada and Surrealism—collaborating with André Breton to produce The Magnetic Fields, the first book of automatic writing—before going his own way as a poet, novelist, and journalist. In this present volume, Soupault's fierce independence, deep wit, and generous heart shine through a set of sharply observed portraits of European writers—fellow geniuses, most of them known to him personally. Alan Bernheimer's fine translation allows Soupault's vibrant voice to come to life in our time, and to reanimate in turn some of the greatest spirits of the past century's literature—a marvelous and much-needed apparition."—Andrew Joron, author of Trance Archive: New and Selected Poems

"In this dazzling book—adroitly, smoothly & accurately translated by poet Alan Bernheimer—poet & co-founder of Surrealism Philippe Soupault trains his great secret eye & ear to auscultate an astounding range of core 20th century literary figures he knew personally. And does so with serenity, humor & profound insight. Like none of the academic histories covering this period, no matter how well written and documented, this book makes you say as you devour it: 'Wish I had been there.' Enough said, I’m going to call René Crevel right now."—Pierre Joris, author of Barzakh: Poems 2000-2012

Philippe Soupault (1897-1990) served in the French army during WWI and subsequently joined the Dada movement. In 1919, he collaborated with André Breton on the automatic text Les Champs magnétiques, launching the surrealist movement. In the years that followed, he wrote novels and journalism, directed Radio Tunis in Tunisia, and worked for UNESCO.

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[flightstone]

Tales of Hearts R: First Impressions

This is over a year old (read: "I've now finished the game and need to write a follow-up" old), but I'd like to post it anyway because this game doesn't get near enough attention - or love. Mostly it's also spoiler-free and covers only the first few hours of the game, so if you're curious about what Hearts R has to offer, read on:

Just wanted to talk about my first impressions of Tales of Hearts R for a bit.

For anyone else going into this game blind (like me), who might want a little bit of background information, but no spoilers, Hearts R is about building bonds.

The game starts with one Kor Meteor (Shing Meteoryte) who has just been given his grandfather's Soma (a special weapon that reflects the user's Spiria - or heart). Kor is not your brightest bulb, but he's a good kid, friendly, honest to a fault, and all that. So while Gramps is away, he finds this girl, Kohaku Hearts, washed up on the beach who is being pursued by a witch. Unfortunately, she got separated from her big brother while looking for - get this! -- Kor's grandfather. Some spoilerific stuff happens, and while you do meet up with big brother Hisui very early on, when Kor attempts to help Kohaku by entering her Spiria, her heart essentially shatters and the shards rain down on the world, leaving Kohaku an emotionless shell.

It then rests on Kor's shoulders to help the siblings recover Kohaku's shards, while heeding his grandfather's words to strengthen his own Spiria (heart).

Hearts R reminds me deeply of Princess Tutu, not only in its efforts to recover shards containing the emotions of one of its key characters, but in what it borrows from fairytales. The lore of the world is framed as a poem - the tale of "Sleeping Beauty" - and some of its landmarks and dungeons are named after elements and characters from well-known stories. Another thing worth mentioning (which most people probably know already!) is that the characters are theme-named after minerals and gemstones (ex: Chalcedony, Beryl, Graphite, Peridot). Although left untranslated, Kohaku and Hisui mean "amber" and "jade" respectively (previously localized as "Amber" and "Jadeite").

In tone, the game thus far seems quite fanciful, with bright colors and humorous NPCs which you will help along the way. Many Tales staples make their return as well such as the Sorcerer's Ring, the Wonder Chef, and an affection system where choosing certain dialogue and fighting alongside other characters will strengthen the bonds between them.

The (Soma) skills system is similar to the one used in Xillia; you earn points from battles which you then distribute as you wish within a five-pointed flower-shaped grid. By leveling points that are adjacent to one another, you can unlock additional bonuses. This system will grant you artes, skills, and it is also where you will obtain weapons.

(Yeah, that's right. You're a Somatic so you will buy armor and items but not weapons! Your Soma is your weapon.)

The battle system is also quite snappy and fun, with a surprising amount of depth being added as you go that requires quick, accurate timing. Attacking an enemy in succession will anger them, leaving you with a split-second opportunity to Counter or be knocked flat on your back. In addition, there's something called the "Chase System" which lets you launch enemies into the air and quickly teleport beside them to unleash powerful attacks. You can also tap on your ally's picture to initiate a two-person attack, one thing I have yet to pull off on the Playstation TV. The characters' fighting styles are nicely varied, too, offering your standard swordsman, a long-range archer/mage, and more. Beryl and Gall remind me of Pascal and Malik in that regard, with Beryl's paintbrush being a bit like a shotstaff, and Gall's ax being thrown, much like Malik's bladerang.

As for the story, at 4-5 hours it has yet to really hit its stride, but the game is littered with animated cutscenes, skits, and side quests, so there's never a lack of things to do. Often returning to a town right after you left it will yield more of these. The cast is also likeable for the most part, with Innes Lorenzen and Beryl Benito being two who particularly stand out, although your mileage may vary. In this regard, it's really a shame that Kohaku didn't get more time to establish herself before going all blank slate on us.

Perhaps the only negative I could talk about is just how loose the localization script is when read over the Japanese dialogue. The team seems to have made an effort to appeal to Western audiences, and the script reads much like a dub would. However when paired with the more polite Japanese, it seems to contain an abundance of slang and sometimes cartoonish accents. This isn't really bad, per se, just noticeable. So if you're looking for a faithful word-for-word translation, this may not be it.

Nevertheless, the game is enjoyable overall, and with many hours ahead, it's certain to drop a few surprises along the way!

[artist-zabaleta]

Lost Profiles: Memoirs of Cubism, Dada, and Surrealism

Poet Alan Bernheimer provides a long overdue English translation of this French literary classic—Lost Profiles is a retrospective of a crucial period in modernism, written by co-founder of the Surrealist Movement. Opening with a reminiscence of the international Dada movement in the late 1910s and its transformation into the beginnings of surrealism, Lost Profiles then proceeds to usher its readers into encounters with a variety of literary lions. We meet an elegant Marcel Proust, renting five adjoining rooms at an expensive hotel to "contain" the silence needed to produce Remembrance of Things Past; an exhausted James Joyce putting himself through grueling translation sessions for Finnegans Wake; and an enigmatic Apollinaire in search of the ultimate objet trouvé. Soupault sketches lively portraits of surrealist precursors like Pierre Reverdy and Blaise Cendrars, a moving account of his tragic fellow surrealist René Crevel, and the story of his unlikely friendship with right-wing anti-Vichy critic George Bernanos. The collection ends with essays on two modernist forerunners, Charles Baudelaire and Henri Rousseau. With an afterword by Ron Padgett recounting his meeting with Soupault in the mid 70's and a preface by André Breton biographer Mark Polizzotti, Lost Profiles confirms Soupault's place in the vanguard of twentieth-century literature.

"Philippe Soupault was a central figure in both the Dada and Surrealist movements but throughout his long life walked under no banner except the one of artistic freedom. In this previously untranslated book, he gives us a collection of richly remembered portraits of some of his best-loved friends from the old days of the new modernism. As a glimpse into that time, these lost portraits are invaluable—and often deeply moving."—Paul Auster, author of Report from the Interior

"Reading Alan Bernheimer's splendid translation of Soupault's memoir, I forgot that it was a translation, that it was Soupault writing or talking about another time, about his friends of one century past. I read myself into these vivid and virile (so, sue me!) assaults on time, and Time stopped."—Andrei Codrescu, author of The Posthuman Dada Guide: Tzara and Lenin Play Chess

"Philippe Soupault was present at the creation of both Dada and Surrealism—collaborating with André Breton to produce The Magnetic Fields, the first book of automatic writing—before going his own way as a poet, novelist, and journalist. In this present volume, Soupault's fierce independence, deep wit, and generous heart shine through a set of sharply observed portraits of European writers—fellow geniuses, most of them known to him personally. Alan Bernheimer's fine translation allows Soupault's vibrant voice to come to life in our time, and to reanimate in turn some of the greatest spirits of the past century's literature—a marvelous and much-needed apparition."—Andrew Joron, author of Trance Archive: New and Selected Poems

"In this dazzling book—adroitly, smoothly & accurately translated by poet Alan Bernheimer—poet & co-founder of Surrealism Philippe Soupault trains his great secret eye & ear to auscultate an astounding range of core 20th century literary figures he knew personally. And does so with serenity, humor & profound insight. Like none of the academic histories covering this period, no matter how well written and documented, this book makes you say as you devour it: 'Wish I had been there.' Enough said, I’m going to call René Crevel right now."—Pierre Joris, author of Barzakh: Poems 2000-2012

Philippe Soupault (1897-1990) served in the French army during WWI and subsequently joined the Dada movement. In 1919, he collaborated with André Breton on the automatic text Les Champs magnétiques, launching the surrealist movement. In the years that followed, he wrote novels and journalism, directed Radio Tunis in Tunisia, and worked for UNESCO.

View on Amazon