#i need everyone to get silly about this with me

[sttoru]

hi!! could you write smut of sukuna w/ corruption kink x clingy reader? i need to see more of them 🤭🤭

 𝝑𝑒 𝐓𝐀𝐆𝐒. true form!sukuna x concubine! female reader. smut, pwp. corruption kink. reader is described as clingy cute / innocent. voyeurism?// exhibitionism. double pénetràtion. cowgirl. cream pies. nicknames ‘slut, brat, woman’. combined 2 requests :3

it’s honestly your own fault. you’ve been sticking around sukuna the entire day, clinging onto him like he won’t let you experience the consequences of your own actions.

“eyes on me, brat,” sukuna scoffs, thumb and index roughly turning your chin back. he needs to see your face as he embarrasses you in front of the guests and other concubines standing around the throne.

you’re supposed to feel regret, yet you’re drowning in a state of pure lust. it’s the thrill that keeps your hips going, the ache in them temporarily ignored as you search for that grande moment of euphoria.

you can’t care less about the humans at the bottom of the stairs. they’re grovelling in fear of the king of curses, knowing their heads can fly off if they dare to look up at you two.

it’s a sign of disrespect—a sign that the king of curses can’t care less about what those lowlifes have come to see him for. sukuna’s doing so on purpose, using your clinginess to his advantage.

“hah, what a total slut of a concubine,” sukuna scoffs, leaning his head against one of his hands, elbow propped onto the armrest. this is a punishment for you, though it certainly does not feel like that. even if all attendants in the room can hear you fucking yourself silly on sukuna’s dicks.

you and those sloppy sounds of your two bodies connecting.

you try to hold back your moans, but a rough yank to your hair instantly opens your mouth again. your eyes roll back and your voice spews out. “mhh, my lord—‘s too much,” you whimper, however your body doesn’t stop bouncing on his cocks. sukuna responds by squeezing your middle while he watches his lengths being swallowed by your cunt and ass.

it’s funny how you’ve been reduced to a mess—a toy he can command to do whatever he pleases. your clinginess secretly pleases him, because it reassures him that you’ll do what’s asked of you. sukuna grins lazily, letting you work for it, “too much? tsk. weren’t you the one begging f’ my attention, brat?”

he does have a point. you nod mindlessly whilst his cocks drill into you—leaving no hole empty. your eyes dart to both sides of the throne, where two concubines are situated. you can see them tremble in embarrassment and envy.

sukuna’s showing you off to everyone and they don’t like it; none of the concubines do. they hate the fact that he chose you to show off to everyone else in the room. like you’re the only trophy he’s proud of.

the guests don’t dare to speak either. nor does uraume, who’s politely looking the other way as their master ravages his favorite little concubine. they’re used to his acts of exercising his power.

sukuna keeps a firm grip on your hair, threatening to pull your head back each time you dare look around you. “you have no shame. absolutely zero,” the king of curses says condescendingly. as if the humiliation of being watched isn’t enough, sukuna’s words add to the embarrassment you’re feeling, “cock hungry slut can’t go a minute without being filled, hm?”

your whimpers get louder and your pace grows faster. his fat tips hit your deepest parts over and over again, the stretch threatening to split you in half. you’re too turned on to care. the way sukuna’s staring at you with that menacing glare—his sharp nails digging into your skin so painfully . . . you need it all.

“this ‘s why you’ve been following me ‘round all day long,” sukuna grunts—one hand coming up to free your breasts from the confines of your robes, “y’ just needed to be dicked down.” the flicks against your stiff nipples make you tighten up around his cocks again and again.

you’re nearly screaming because of everything your senses are picking up on. your half lidded eyes catch a glimpse of sukuna’s cocky facial expression and you’re almost pushed over the edge. he’s so smug—knowing he has you in the palm of his hand.

his eyes are luring you in. there’s a hint of something so primal in there - a beast impatiently waiting to be unleashed - one that sukuna is trying his best to suppress.

“aren’t you just cute. . .” sukuna mocks with a dangerous chuckle. his thumb rubs your bottom lip before slipping into your mouth for you to suckle on.

“kehehe, isn’t that what those servants call you? cute.. innocent.. adorable,” he continues, faintly groaning at the feeling of your tongue swirling around his thumb. sukuna cocks his head to the right and your eyes follow. that’s where you spot your maids and lady-in-waiting in a corner.

you feel tears well up in your eyes from both pleasure and humiliation. everyone is seeing and hearing you being claimed by the monster of a curse you’re riding. your maids have always adored your innocence—how you don’t seem to be tainted by sukuna’s advances no matter what. it’s a first to them.

it has been a rumor around the estate for so long; you being the only concubine who can withstand sukuna’s wicked influence. you always seem to stay yourself, your cheery and sweet personality never changing. you’ve been known as the innocent one among all other concubines.

yet here those same maids are, watching your brain being corrupted by sin. you’re so sinfully enjoying how sukuna’s cocks are penetrating you. “n-no, am—fnghh—don’t wanna,” you stammer, speaking to no one in particular. your inner desires clash with your rational mind and your body seems to continue its erotic act.

“don’t you fight it, woman,” sukuna brings your attention back by thrusting his cocks all the way up inside you, balls slapping harshly against your ass. he’s proud with his accomplishments. you’re slowly but surely being tainted by him and it’s so pleasing.

soon enough, that damned innocence of yours is going to disappear. he’s going to turn you into a total slut driven by lust, for him and only him. he’s going to ruin you and your body until all you can think of is the pleasure he can give you.

your nails dig into sukuna’s shoulders. you moan loudly, losing the battle, as expected. the king of curses just knows how to make you give in. he takes great pleasure in seeing you lose yourself, with everyone watching how he strips you from that innocence.

“stupid, nasty fuckin’ thing,” sukuna grunts as the lower pair of his arms hold you by your hips. he halts your movements before starting his own. “y’re mine, ya hear?” he pounds up into you—making you mewl. a chant of his name leaves your lips. you simply cannot stop yourself.

“yes, ‘m yours, my lord!” you moan for everyone to hear. the pink-haired man grins in satisfaction and quickly plunges his cocks in and out of your holes, needing to release himself so he could fully claim you as his in front of the rest.

his dirty cumslut, his tainted and brainless doll.

sukuna wraps all four arms around you, leaving no room for escape. he presses you against him until you’re struggling to breathe. your head is pushed against his shoulder and your insides are being turned into mush. the gooey fluids drip down onto the throne and down the floor.

“fuck. not a drop goes to waste or i’m fuckin’ ya again,” sukuna warns before shooting loads of cum into your womb and up your ass. both your holes are stuffed full of white, sticky semen mixed with your own release. you desperately clench around nothing once sukuna pulls you off his dicks.

you try to reach your hands out towards him as he manoeuvres your body away once he’s finished. the king of curses pins your wrists at your back so he can turn you around on his thighs, forcefully spreading your legs like a trophy he’s showing off on his throne.

one arm wraps around your waist and his chin rests on your right shoulder. sukuna keeps you on his lap and continues to act like he didn’t just completely wreck your insides.

while you’re left in the intense moment, he seems to have moved on already.

“speak,” sukuna orders the humans who’ve witnessed the whole ordeal. their foreheads are stuck on the floor—none of them daring to look up at the sight, like everyone else.

you’re panting and your head is spinning. you’re totally spent. sukuna holds your limp body up on his lap as one hand is busy scooping the excess cum back into your pussy, not wasting a drop like said before.

one of the villagers finally speaks up, stating the reason for their visit to the estate. their voice is muffled due to a loud buzzing in your ear. you’re tired and can’t focus on what’s said either. you just want to sleep. . . in sukuna’s warm embrace, filled and half-naked, for the entire room to see as they continue discussing business as if you’re not even there.

[princessbrunette]

princess we know pogue!rafe is mean to reader because she's kook and normal rafe is mean to puppy because she's pogue so what happens when it's pogue!rafe × puppyyyy

it’s kind of similar but he’s more accepting of her. still rough and wants her to behave herself but he treats her like she’s someone who belongs with him if that makes any sense ?? walks her around with a hand at the scruff of her neck and gives her little slaps when she deserves it but at the end of the day, he’ll stand proudly beside her — pointing at the crowd as they pass saying something like “y’see all these people? they don’t mean anything, alright. it’s me and you against everyone. no one’s gonna take care of you like me, yeah? s’just us, baby.” while puppy nods along ^_^

he helps her a lot — helps her get a job, encourages her to be something and do something with her life, kind of like the poguey mentor she needs …… complains and is angsty n sometimes rude but he gives her every last dime he’s got, manhandles her into her clothes when she’s too sleepy to get ready for work, lectures her whilst he brushes her teeth. he wants the best for her but can’t show it too good

he does think she’s a lil cutie though really. she works her silly little icecream shop job whilst he goes out and does hard manual labour and at the end of the day he lets her climb all over him excitedly rambling about the new flavours, smelling vaguely of strawberry shortcake icecream whilst he’s exhausted n still covered in grime from the building site ….. aaa i kinda luv them

[hellcat8908]

could you write a azriel/reader fic where he only starts dating reader because elain and gywn are not interested in him and she's available and she overhears someone else talking about it a few months into their relationship but sees azriel being involving in their relationship and deludes/convinces herself into thinking he really likes her, but something happens and they fight(jealousy? you can choose a reason tbh) and he tells her that he only dated her bc elain/gywn weren't interested in the heat of the moment(maybe she brings it up? or he could say it himself tbh, idm) and has to grovel. you can take this whichever direction you want to, if you have other ideas about certain areas!

Hope this is along the lines of what you had in mind. I'm sorry it's so long. Once I started writing, I couldn't stop. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it.

Placeholder Azriel x Female Reader

Warnings: Violence, Language, Angst

You hadn't meant to eaves drop on Cassian and Nesta's conversation. You were about to interrupt when you heard them mention you and Azriel. "He needs to let her go before she gets hurt." Nesta says. "I can't understand how she doesn't realize he's only with her because your sister and gwyn didn't want him." Cassian answers. "She's going to be devastated when she finds out. She's been in love with him since she arrived here." Nesta continues. You quietly walk back to your room.

For a split second, you let doubt in and question your relationship with Azriel. You tell yourself you're being silly as you think of all the small things Azriel does to show you he loves you. The fresh flowers he brings you when you're having a rough day or the sweets you crave when your cycle hits. The way he always makes sure you're alright after returning from emissary work or how he listens to you ramble about the latest book you read. You tell yourself that Nesta and Cassian have no idea what they're talking about.

The next morning, you show up for training late after getting caught up in your book. When you enter the training area, you see Azriel adjusting Gwyn's stance. You temporarily become jealous until you remind yourself he's helping train her. You fall into place as Cassian starts pairing everyone off for sparring. You're paired with Nesta as Gwyn is paired with Elain, who started training recently. You focus on the exercise with Nesta until you hear it.

Elains laughter seems to echo in your ears as your attention is drawn to her and Gwyn. Azriel is correcting Elain, but his touch seems to linger. She laughs again and says something you don't quite hear. Jealousy takes hold as you see the way he looks at her, his eyes drinking her in. Suddenly, the conversation from yesterday comes flooding back. Jealousy turns to rage, and before you know it, you've slammed Nesta into the dirt while glaring at Azriel and Elain.

"What the hell, y/n?!" Nesta shouts as Cassian helps her up before looking for injuries. "Nesta, I-I'm sorry. I don't know what happened. I-I didn't, I shouldn't," your words trail off as reality hits you hard in the face. "I-I'm sorry," is all you say before taking off towards the house. Refusing to stop when Azriel tells you to. Once inside, you're overwhelmed with emotions jealousy, anger, embarrassment, and regret. You can't help but pace back and forth, only stopping long enough to make sure the footsteps aren't Nesta coming to kick your ass.

You breathe a momentary sigh of relief when Azriel walks in only for it to be replaced by anger. "What the hell was that about?!" He shouts. "You tell me, Az. You're the one who had wandering hands." You say with a glare. "You're seriously jealous right now?!" He asks. "Why shouldn't I be, I mean, after all, I'm your last resort." You sneer. "What are you talking about?" He asks, his frustration growing. "I see the way you look at them! You never look at me like that! Just admit that I'm a placeholder until one of them decides they want you!" You say as tears sting your eyes.

"It started off like that-" he starts to say but doesn't get a chance to finish as you run from the room, refusing to let him see you cry. You hear him calling after you, begging to let you explain. His pleas fall on deaf ears as you reach your room. You lock it behind you before climbing into your bed. Tears soak your pillowcase as you wonder how you could've been so stupid to believe that he would actually want you. You ignore his knocks and attempts to convince you to listen to him. Eventually, the other side of your door grew quiet.

Soon, you were left with the sound of your own whimpers and cries. The house made sure you had water to drink and some light snacks if you decided to eat. You  ignored the houses offering except the glasses of water. The various knocks at your door went unanswered as you sank further into your mind. All you could think about was how you could be such be such a fool for not realizing what everyone else did. The more you dwelled in it, the more you felt betrayed that no one actually told you. Eventually, the tears dry as you finally fall asleep.

Over the next few days, you remain in bed. You ignore everyones attempt to try to talk to you, including Rhys, attempiting to get inside your head. Azriel keeps trying to get you to listen, but his attempts are met with silence or the sound of glass breaking against your door. After four days of wallowing in self-pity and anger, you finally get out of bed and make yourself presentable before summoning Rhys. He knocks on your door, waiting for you to answer.

Once he steps in, you lock the door and turn your full attention to him. "I need you to give me something to do in another court. I don't care which one or what the task is, I just need to work." You tell him. "I don't think you're in any shape to be working. You need to work through whatever happened between you and Azriel first." He responds. "Rhys, please. I can't stay here. I never ask you for a favor, but I'm asking now." You say, looking up at him with a hollow sadness in your eyes. "Fine, you can go to Windhaven, I have some new information I want you to pass along." He says as he produces some documents from seemingly thin air.

You take the documents and tuck them in the inside your jacket. "Mor will deliver you to Windhaven. Take care of yourself." Rhys says before you meet Mor outside. She takes off with you just as Azriel steps outside. He watches as Mor winnows you away. Moments later, the two of you are in Windhaven. "You sure you're up for this?" She asks, concerned. "I'll be fine." You assure her before saying good-byes. You make your way to find Devlin noticing how some of the Illyrians are looking at you, realizing you aren't escorted by Cassian or Azriel. You make your way further into the camp. You find Devlin over seeing the training.

"What do you want now?" He asks, sounding annoyed. "I have some information to go over with you." You say as you stand beside him, watching the two spar in the ring. "Later, I'm busy." He says dismissively. "I'll see you at 6, not a moment later." You say before turning towards Rhys's house. You might as well be comfortable as you wait for your meeting. As soon as you step inside, you smell the familiar scent of Azriel, making your heart ache.

°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Azriel had been busy with training, then catching up on reports and various paperwork. He hadn't had a chance to speak with Mor or Rhys about where you'd gone or if you'd be back. As the day grew on, he finally caught a break after dinner. He asked Rhys to speak with him in private before following him into his study. Rhys already knew what this was about. "She's away on work and will be back once she's done." He answers before Azriel can even ask. "Where did work take her this time? Probably as far away as she could get." He says.

"She's in Illyria informing Devlin of the changes I wish to make." Rhys states casually. "She's in windhaven by herself?! She isn't in any condition to be there! What were you thinking?!" Azriel demands. Rhys's temper rises akt Azriel's outburst. "She asked for work, and I gave her some it. She'll be gone overnight at the most. Let's not forget she wouldn't be in that condition if you hadn't fucked up!" Rhys shouts. "I know I fucked up but do you realize how much danger she could be in?! Do you even care?!" Azriel shouts as his hands clench into fists at his sides.

"Of course I care! I also know she's capable of handling herself!" Rhys snarls in response. "I'm going up there to bring her home." Azriel says before storming out. The sun is setting as he takes off towards windhaven. Cursing himself and Rhys for this situation. He doesn't care if he has to carry you home kicking and screaming. You're coming home. He flies faster as his anger at the situation gets the better of him.

°☆°☆°☆°☆°

You were going over the changes Rhys wanted to implement, much to Devlin's dismay. He had no problem voicing his disapproval. Both of you were growing frustrated with each other as time went on, leading to heated words and animosity. Eventually, you started rubbing your temples. "Let's call it a night, and we can continue this tomorrow." You offer. "Fine, but don't expect my opinion to change." Devlin says as he escorts you out.

It's dark as that had taken longer than you anticipated. Your head was throbbing, causing you to miss the numerous footsteps approaching you. You were taken by surprise when you quickly grabbed and gagged as dark figures hauled you away from camp. You were injected with a large dose of faebane as they waited for it to take effect. You felt yourself weakening as you were dumped shoved to the ground in a clearing. "Looks like you're not so great without the shadowsinger." One of the Illyrian states.

"I think it's time to send your friends a message." He sneers before you're surrounded. Your hands are quickly bound along with your legs. "I doubt you'll be much trouble with that amount of faebane, but we can't be too careful." He says menacingly. You shout insults at him, but the gag only muffles them.  While you're focused on who you decide is the leader, you miss the heavy kick to your ribs. Before you can blink, you're being kicked and punched from all sides. Your screams are muffled as you feel bones crack from the force. Before long, you feel the sharp sting of a blade cutting into your back. A final kick to your head knocks you unconcious. They untie you and leave you for dead in the dirt.

°☆°☆°☆°☆°

Azriel landed in Windhaven in front of the house. He debated on knocking but decided to let himself in. The house is quiet, too quiet for Azriel's liking. He starts searching for you, but you're nowhere to be seen. His stomach drops as he sends his shadows out to search for you. They return whispering to him, "faebane." In an instant, Azriel is following his shadows and notices your small footprints surrounded by several larger ones. "Taken." His shadows whisper.  He starts tracking the footprints.

He's led to the clearing where his heart stops. He rushes over to your limp body and lets out an agonized scream when he sees you bruised and bloodied. He hears your jagged breath as he picks you up, forcing a painful groan from you. "Please, angel. I need you to hold on just a little longer, " he says as tears line his eyes before the darkness surrounds both of you as he winnows you home. His heart breaks as he thinks about what you've endured.

Once he lands at the river house, he rushes you inside while Rhys shows him the room Madja and her team of healers are in. Once you're laid on the bed, Rhys pulls him out so Madja and the others can work without him yelling or being in the way. Once outside the room  Azriel has Rhys by the collar and slams him against the wall, "I told you she'd be in danger!" He practically growls. "She wanted to go, and I didn't think they'd be dumb enough to try something like this!" He says. "Well, they were, and now who knows what lasting affects she'll have from this!"

"This isn't all on me! If you had been honest with her from the start, none of this would've happened!" Rhys shouts. "Enough! Both of you! Now isn't the time or the place!" Feyre says as she joins them. Azriel reluctantly releases Rhys and stands in the corner. "Being at each others throats doesn't chang anything. What matters now is y/n and making sure she gets the support and help she needs." Feyre says. Both males glare at each other before looking in separate directions. Azriel waits silently as his anxiety builds with each passing minute.

Madja emerges from the room, wiping her hands off on a towel. "She's holding on. We've done everything we can do for her physically. The rest is on her. She will have scarring, and the heavy dose of faebane is preventing her from healing on her own. Her body needs to rest, so I've given her a sedative tonic that will allow her to rest comfortably while her body recovers. I'll continue to check on her and keep her sedated as needed." She says. "Thank you." Feyre says. "She's lucky to be alive." Madja responds, "you can see her now if you wish."

Feyre follows Madja back into the room to see you. Azriel storms out of the house with Rhys behind him. "What are you doing, Az?" Rhys questions, already knowing the answer. "What needs to be done," is all Azriel says before taking off with Rhys flanking him. "Only the ones responsible," is all Rhys says. "No promises." Azriel responds, his voice full of rage. "Azriel." Rhys says, his voice laced with power. "You didn't see her! You didn't see how they left her bloodied and bruised in the dirt like she was nothing!" Azriel shouts. "I know, but killing all of them won't change anything. Only the ones responsible need to be dealt with." Rhys says with authority.

When they return home, Rhys sends Azriel home to get cleaned up before he's allowed to see you. Madja keeps you sedated for the next few days, giving the faebane time to wear off and let you heal better. Azriel stays by your side, refusing to leave except for short showers and bathroom breaks. He hardly eats or drinks as he watches over you. He watches the swelling go down, and the bruises start to fade with each day, making you look more like yourself.

You hear the faint voices as you start to wake up. You vaguely make out Azriel's voice as he argues with someone. "I'm not leaving her side." He says in hushed tones as if not to disturb you. "I understand she's upset with me and probably doesn't want to see me when she first wakes up, but I love her. I need her to know that I love her. Yes, I started dating her because I was tired of being lonely, but the more time we spent together, the more I fell in love with her. I should've told her, but I was afraid of all this, and it happened anyway. This is all my fault." Azriel says gently.

"Just give her some time to work through things. She has a lot to deal with physically and emotionally. She'll talk to you when she's ready. I think you should give her a chance to wake up in peace without having to be faced with you."  Cassian tries to reason. "You're right. If I'm going to cause more harm than good, I guess it's best if I wait. I can't leave her, though." Azriel says, sounding broken. "It's only for a little while." Cassian assures him. You hear Azriel's footstep receding.

Cassian takes the seat Azriel was occupying as he lets out a sigh, running his fingers through his hair. "Rough day?" You ask, your voice hoarse. "You can say that again." Cassian says before realizing you're awake. "How are you feeling? Can I get you anything? Are you in pain? Want me to get Madja?" He rambles. "Cassian, calm down. I'm alright. I just need some water." You answer with a small laugh. He pours you a glass from the fresh pitcher Azriel filled earlier.

"How long have I been out for?" You ask as you carefully sit up to drink. "Four days." Cassian says as he leans back in the chair. "Must've been bad, huh?" You ask as you examine the marks you can see. "Just a couple broken bones, bruises, and cuts across your back." Cassian answers. "So nothing major." You say with a laugh. "Who found me?" You ask. "Azriel did." Cassian answers. "Can I see him? I don't want to bother him if he's busy." You say. Cassian just smiles, "I'll get him for you." You take another drink of water while Cassian is gone.

When the door opens again, it's Azriel, "Cass said you wanted to see me." He says hesitantly. "I do, I hope I didn't pull you away from something." You tell him. "Not at all." He says as you indicate for him to sit. "How did you find me?" You ask, watching his eyes turn hazy. "Rhys told me where you had gone, and I was worried something would happen to you. By the time I found you, I was too late." He says, looking down at his hands. "Are they -" You trail off, not sure you want to ask. "The one's responsible has been dealt with. You don't have to worry about them." Azriel says softly.

"Y/n, I know I messed up by not telling you in the beginning. I just want you to know that I genuinely love you and finding you like that only broke me more. I thought I had lost you, and it would've been all my fault." He says solemnly. You gently place your hand over his, "The whole time, I was only thinking how I should be home with you. I wanted a chance to tell you I love you one more time." You say before blonking away the tears threatening to fall. "I love you, Az." You say softly. He moves to the edge of the bed. "I love you too, angel." He says, gently wiping the tears from your cheeks.

[lunaeclipse1057-ao3]

My Love Letter To The Community

The QSMP was everything, to me. It was such an amazing thing that not many people could even dream of, yet Quackity and his team had the vision, and not only that, but made it a reality. Thank you, Quackity. Thank you, Quackity Studios. Thank you, CC's. Thank you, Admins.

But most of all, thank you, QSMPblr.

You guys were by far the best part of this experience for me. Every event, every important moment, it was made better for me by the community. The fanart, the theories, the silly little liveblogs we all did for our favorite POV's. I laughed harder at some of your guy's stupid little chat messages or Tumblr posts then some of the actual in-stream moments.

I would not have fallen for the QSMP as hard as I did if it wasn't for the community. Before I joined Tumblr in September, it was just a little hobby I liked to check up on from time to time, but it was you, all of you, that helped me realize what a truly beautiful thing this was.

There are a few people I want to thank specifically. Putting it under a thing cause this is about to get LONG

@okaioh, my fellow Philza main, my best friend in the QSMP community. We bounced back and forth on each others ideas a lot, and you've made me laugh really hard. Thank you.

@rainbowchaox, Death Family truther. I feel like we've interacted a lot, and I've appreciated your company. Thank you.

@ultra-raging-ghost and @q-starhalo, for being my main updates on the insanity that was BadBoyHalo this year. I've really enjoyed seeing you two pop up on my dash. Thank you.

@theroseyhues, for being a new addition to my list of friends, but one I look forward to continue to interact with.

@genevawren38, BOLAS!!! You've been fun to see on my dash recently. Thank you.

@disfrutalakia, for being the only reason I knew anything about the chaos that was the Portuguese this year. Thank you.

@miscellaneoussmp, a new addition to my dash but a very welcome one. It needed more q!Pac. Thank you.

@etoilesbienne, for being the reason I got into Etoiles and learning french. Thank you.

@kadextra, for being you and making me laugh so hard with your reaction images. Thank you.

@cellgatinbo, for being the number one cannibal cellbit truther. I got most of my QSMP news from your reblogs. Thank you.

@isa-ghost, for just chatting with me from time to time and being as much of a c!Phil apologist as I have. Thank you.

@royalarchivist and @mcyt-archives, for being SUCH A FUCKING GOAT WITH THE CLIPS AND VODS, HOLY SHIT! Your blogs never fails to amaze me. Thank you.

@elcucurucho, for making me laugh so much with your funny little shit. Thank you.

@scheepstep, for being another big Death Family obsessor. I only recently discovered your blog but it's really fun to look through. Thank you.

@pixiecaps, my FitMC update blog. You seem really cool, I want to interact with you more. Thank you.

@qsmpincorrect, @qsmptwitchupdates, @qsmppollshowdownblog, and @which-qsmp-egg-would, for feeding us with your content and funny little things.

@sweevanna and @lionheartedmusings, for your contributions, not just on the community but on the QSMP itself. Thank you.

And to everyone else. And I mean everyone. It's been real.

[vulpixisananimal]

(You wake up.)

(How long were you asleep? You were asleep so long you were dreaming. You were having a nightmare, more like. You were wandering around Dormont, and no matter what you'd say, everyone else would stay to The Script. Even when you saw yourself at the favor tree, all you would do is say the same stupid lines.)

(You shudder. Never again, please, never again.)

(You look to your side, someone had placed a heaping plate of food on your nightstand. Your stomache growled, so you decided to grab a bite. A quesadilla again, naturally. It was mostly cold now. That would put you at least an hour, maybe two behind schedule. It sounded busy outside, so maybe closer to midday?)

(What WAS your schedule?)

(Wake up, be sick, bump into isabeau, breakfast, explain over breakfast, clean up, prep for the day, go out and do whatever. Ramos came around at about. . . Three hours past noon. Stars, you had to plan.)

(You start to eat as you get up; your body lodging formal and VERY vocal complaints against moving. Stars, you were so hungry, you already finished your first quesadilla and needed another. And you still needed to get dressed!)

(It took a few minutes, but you were up, fed, and ready. Looking yourself over in the small mirror in your rented room, you looked. . . Looked like normal. Looked like him. Looked like you? Maybe.)

(Who were you, Loop? Who were you now? Just the friendly star? Is that all?)

(Ha. hahahhaha.)

(Curse you, Universe.)

(You head downstairs.)

". . . Hellooooo?" (Huh. There wasn't anyone around. They must have headed out or. . . Wait.)

(That noise you heared. It sounded familiar actually. You walk over to the door to the front yard and pull it open.)

(!!!!)

(Mirabelle, Bonnie, Nille, Isabeau, and Odile were all there going over battling! It looks like Isa was pretending to be a big ol scary sadness, it was, surprisngly similar to the house! You knew the script by heart too! Next Bonnie would say-)

"IF WE DO A COMBO, AND HAVE FIVE OF THE SAME SYMBOL, WE DO A 'JACKPOT SKILL!!!"'

"Exactly, Boniface. And see? We already have a combo of two right there."

(Ah right, because you weren't there to give that third hit.)

"When we get five of the same symbol, whether Rock, Paper, or Scissors, we'll be able to use a Jackpot Skill. . ."

"Only Rock, Paper, and Scissors attacks count for the Jackpot, by the way. We should be careful with how we use those skills, but we can use any other type of skill or item without breaking the combo."

"Yeah!! A combo will beat me!! Please, do a combo!"

(Hehe, because he's being a big ol sadness and not "knocked out.")

"You heared the man. Let's add three more scissors symbols to our lineup, shall we?"

(. . . Heh. Hehehehehehehe.)

(If you were going to be stuck in Stardusts little body, you will have some fun.)

"Of course M'dame!" (You say as you run past them all straight as Isabeau, leaping at him while he's still surprised. You both tumble back into the grass. You make a scissors symbol, and poke him on the nose with it.)

"!!!?!?!??!?!??!??!!?"

(Oh he looks so confused. And maybe blushing a little? Oh silly Loop~ You look over your shoulder to the rest of your companions with a cheeky smile.)

". . .Oops~"

"'HEY!!!" (Bonnie stomped the ground angry.) "CRABFACE!!! WE HAD THE MEANIE HANDLED!!!"

"L-language." (Nille was barely holding in a laugh, probably at seeing such a big guy like Isa being boddied by a twig like you.) "Good morning to you too."

(Odile chuckled and shook her head.) "Defeated in one blow. Truly, you are leagues ahead of us oh wise one."

"I was worried we were going to die, oh how strong it was!" (Mira continues.) "Bested by someone who should still be resting up!!!"

(Wuhoh.)

"A-ah, I'm doing fine! S-see?" (You say, getting off of Isabeau and sitting on the grass.) "No issue whatsoever~"

"incredible, absolutely incredible." (Odile says, she and the rest coming over.) "You're somehow a worse liar than Siffrin."

"Wh-" (You choke on your words.)

"Do they look paler than normal?" (Nille teased.) "What do you think Bonbon?"

"They look like white paint!!!"

"H-hey guys be nice!" (Isabeau FINALLY sat up.) "Loop just woke up, after all."

"Aww thank you Isabeau~" (You stretch. Huh, Loop, it was kind of nice to be known, honestly.) "And what have you all been up to since I passed out."

"Quite a bit!" (Mirabelle said, shaking her hands excitedly) "Madame Odile had an idea about your looping! And we decided to try and making easier! A-and-"

"Alright 'Bella, how about we get inside first." (Nille says, picking up her hammer.) "Gotta say, y'all really do have the whole battling thing down much better than I do."

"Oh don't worry Nille!" (Isabeau gets up.) "We were traveling for a whole year! We had lots of practice!"

"But until you catch up try to stick back with Boniface." (Odile adds.)

"Maybe I should be telling all you that~" (You joke, standing up.) "But really, I am feeling much better."

"Good! Now, to buisness-" (Odile leads you all back inside.)

(Your allies had been busy during your nap. They had gathered all the trinkets and supplies you'd gathered. You didn't bring all the eqipment you found in the house with you, and you didn't have nearly as much tonics, but it wasn't nothing. Paper mache gauntlets, Wok, etc.)

(They went over basic battling, and brushed up on their crafts. Nille had a solid place in battle too now. She had a nack for countering hits, so she'd stay to the side untill an opritunity showed itself and she'd jump in.)

(They were. . . Thinking about you?)

"-as the theory goes, anyway." (Odile had just finished explaining her theory on sleeping and looping.) "I do hope it's true, it would make everything so much easier."

"And if it does work!" (Mira says, excited.) "In the future just come out and say which loop it is! Everyone talked it out and well, i-it'll be easier to help you!"

"That's. . ." (It was, it was a lot to take in.) "That's really thoughtful."

"I didn't want you to have to do this alone." (Isa is smiling at you.) "We didn't, so, we perpared for you!"

"It was pretty fun, actually." (Nille is leaning back.) "Change, like I was finally getting to join my little sibling on fighting the bad guy."

"Yeah!!! And this time we're doing it as a big family!!!" (Bonbon, they're giving you the biggest smile.)

(You, you don't know how to respond.)

"I know this probably wont be the last loop, so we wont remember, but, that's ok!" (Isabeau. . .) "Because, Loop, I know every other me is going to try just as hard to help you!"

"Me too!"

"Mine as well."

"Same here!"

"YEAH!!!"

(Oh stars.)

(O-oh stars, it's, it's all too much. You're starting to cry. You're crying. It's, it's like when you first met them, so kind, and, a-and, and they're treating you like, like-)

"U-UH!!" (Isabeau holds up his hands seeing you cry.) "D-did I do something wrong?!?"

(You shake your head.)

"I think it's all a bit overwhelming. Besides, we were practicaly strangers in Dormont." (Odile rightly points out.)

"Doesn't matter!!" (Bonbon runs over to your side.) "Hey, hey, look at me."

(You look up at Bonnie, they're waving their hands-)

"You've been helping 'Frin out, and you helped us out too! We're not strangers anymore!"

"Hear hear."

"Alright! Group hug time!"

(O-oh stars, oh starsohstarsoh-)

(You're crying more, they're, they're so nice, they're being so nice. They're. . .)

(They're treating you as you. As Your own person. As a part of Siffrin but, as yourself as well. You're YOU. They know you're you!)

(You're cry even more now.)

"T-th, thank you guys. . ."

(You all stay a second more there, in a big old hug. They don't know who you really are, but they know you're Loop, and Loop needs help. And, they love you, even after all this time, they still love you. . .)

(. . .)

(Eventually, it has to end, and everyone gets back to their seats and you take a few deep breaths. In, and out.)

"Got a plan today then, Loop?" (Mira asks.)

"Well, a few~"

[aladygrieve]

so that was the best episode...possibly ever. Certainly of the last few seasons. It was SO well-written, and beautifully acted by like. Everyone. ESPECIALLY Peter and Angela (I know, I know, what else is new, but you can't tell me they didn't bring their S-tier game on this one).

Not every episode of 911 is an across-the-board hit. Sometimes there are arcs I'm less enthused about, characters I don't care for, calls that get a little silly for even for my taste, or acting choices that are a bit too big. But when this show shines, it fucking shines. I was RIVETED for every second of this one. The massive emotional payoffs - for Bobby and Athena, Bobby and the 118 in general, Hen and Karen, Eddie and Kim, Amir - they all sang. A few standout moments:

Athena's voice when she said "Too late" Broke MeTM.

Ditto Christopher saying "Mom?"

Bobby openly accepting Tommy and passing the cooking torch to Buck. I know he's good for you because we haven't had to talk about it. That is his DAD.

I know we all joke about fun it was to see Eddie let loose earlier this season and how Fox only cared about him when he was traumatized, but MAN that boy can suffer so beautifully. I am SO here for how deliciously fucked up he and Kim are.

Speaking of, they let Kim be a real person?? And she's great? I mean, she's a little fucked up too, but she's INTERESTING about it.

Let Mara Live 2k24

Am I right in thinking that Bobby giving Athena CPR at the end is the ONLY direct mouth-to-mouth we've seen in the entire show that didn't use the airbag? Because I have feelings about that.

I think it says something that one of the few episodes (if not the only one?) with functionally zero 118 calls is in my opinion the best they've ever done. Not that the calls aren't fun, but it proves - as if we needed proof - that the characters are the heart of the show.

I am counting the sleeps until next week because godDAMN.

[jrow]

May Prompts (23)

Day 22 here. Start at the beginning here.

Apology

“Wait, is this an apology?”

He looks at Sherlock with a furrowed brow. The man has been acting odd all morning, but it’s been dialled up to 11 since they arrived at the cake place. Fidgety. Mumbling. And now an apology?

Well isn’t this flipping the script.

There have been many times where he’s been desperate for Sherlock to apologize about one thing or another, but that certainly isn’t the case today. Sherlock has been wonderful over the last few days—a lifesaver really. If anything, he should be apologizing to Sherlock!

But instead, Sherlock is now monologuing about apologies and penance and other things he can’t really follow. The head injury probably isn’t helping, but he’s pretty sure Sherlock isn’t actually making much sense.

“Sherlock,” he says, lifting a hand. “Stop, have a bite of that delicious looking chocolate ganache and then explain what the hell you are on about.”

Sherlock huffs but does as he’s told. They eat in silence for a moment. Sherlock seems to be very much enjoying the chocolate ganache, while Rosie is eating only the icing from her confetti cake. He is taking his time with his caramel-topped coffee cake, savouring each bite. Getting to the cake place right when it opened at 11 means they had an abundance of choice and everyone seems very content with their selections.

Sherlock puts down his fork and clears his throat once his cake is about half done. “Let me try again, John. I have avoided being direct for cowardly reasons, but … well, honesty and all that.”

He smiles. “Yes, all that. Now what are you on about.”

Sherlock’s face grows serious. “I … I need to apologize. For your fall.”

He rolls his eyes. “Look, I know you think you should be able to … I don’t know … stop time or something … but there’s not much you could have done. I tripped and fell off a roof. It happens. There are risks associated with running on a roof. I know that.”

Sherlock cringes. “Yes, that’s just it, John. I wasn’t totally honest about that night. You … you didn’t want to chase the thief. At all. You tried to stop me. You just wanted to leave the thief and come here. To cake. You wanted cake. I forced your hand, John.”

He looks at Sherlock with a blank stare and then bursts out laughing. “Seriously? That’s what you are apologizing for? That’s what’s had you so angst-ridden? The fact that you think you ‘forced me’ on a chase?”

“You didn’t want to do it, John!” Sherlock says, sounding slightly annoyed. “I forced you.”

“I am a big boy, you can’t force me to do anything,” he says before popping a bite of cake in his mouth.

Sherlock shakes his head. “But you really wanted to just have cake. You were so insistent! And ignored that.”

“Seriously, Sherlock,” he says, picking up another piece of cake (it really is delightful), “I love a good chase. You know that. And if for some reason I didn’t want to go, I wouldn’t have.” He shrugs. “I was probably just arguing against it for the heck of it or…” he trails off and stares at Sherlock. Slowly his eyes grow wide.

“What is it, John?” Sherlock asks, leaning forward.

He starts laughing. “I was nervous! God, it’s seems so silly now. I was just so damn nervous. We were going to eat cake,” he explains, waving his fork in the air, “and then you were going to open your gift. I was nervous and anxious and just wanted it over with.” He takes a deep breath. “Jesus, I remember!”

“I don’t understand, John,” Sherlock says, almost pleading.

He sighs happily. It just feels so good to just remember. Not just the events, but his feelings that night. “Sherlock, hear me now. I wanted to chase that damn thief. I always want to follow you across the city and down the alleys and, yes, along the roofs. I just … I had a plan and it took some convincing to get me to change it. But I did change it. In fact, I was excited … I remember thinking it would be perfect actually. Chase, cake, gift and then who knows. Perfect.”

He’s done being nervous. He could have died, but he didn’t and it’s time to just get on with it. He has half a mind to just confess right here, but a big part of him desperately wants to watch Sherlock’s face—his eyes—as he figures out what the gift means. He wants to see that surprise and recognition. And so, he will wait just a bit longer.

Sherlock is watching him with questioning eyes. “Really?”

“Yes, absolutely,” he says with a chuckle. “Now finish your cake. Although I think little miss icing might be interested in a bite.” This is quite the understatement as Rosie, having finished her icing, is now staring at Sherlock’s cake with a rather alarming ferocity.

“Here you go,” Sherlock says, feeding Rosie a rather large bite of the chocolate ganache.

God, Sherlock looks and sounds so damn relieved. It’s heartbreaking in a way.

If only they’d talked about this earlier, much of Sherlock’s guilt could have been avoided. Because it was just an accident—

He drops his fork and it hits the plate with a loud clang. He turns to Sherlock. “You didn’t see me trip,” he says, heart now racing. He remembers!

“No,” Sherlock says, brow furrowed. “But I certainly saw you fall.”

“You didn’t see me trip,” he says again, trying to keep his voice calm, “because I didn’t. Jesus Christ, Sherlock! I remember. I didn’t fall because l tripped.” He sucks in a breath. “I fell because I was pushed.”

Thanks everyone for continuing to read along. The last few days I haven’t had much time to write so things have been a bit rushed, but I am just having so much fun with this!

@keirgreeneyes @raina-at @totallysilvergirl @meetinginsamarra @jolieblack @phoenix27884 @friday411 @calaisreno @lisbeth-kk @safedistancefrombeingsmart @momma2boys @helloliriels @dapetty @quimerasyutopias

[pleasepress1forfrontdesk]

The Chains Are Heavy

(Levi's long awaited backstory, finally)

Special thanks to everyone who has been following and rp with me. You really have helped make this character more than he was meant to be.

(@fukuzawa-armeddaddyagency @tired-sayaka-ada @never-gets-sick @oscarsgallery @city-of-c0rpses @v-extreme-diminuendo @kijimha )

How did I get here again? It could all have been a simple life for me, but it wasn't. Ever since I became 10, I was rob. Robbed of my family, friends, goals, dreams, my childhood, and most importantly my innocence.

Not just my innocent mentally, but literally too. I lost my innocence of being a civil. They all hate me now. Rightfully so. After all I have been nothing but a danger to everyone around me. All I did was make things worse. This war could have ended quicker if it way for me....

How did I get here again....

Foul Ball

It all started on March 22, a day after my birthday and two days after my best buddy's birthday, Cooper. We have been friends since daycare and being in the nursery at church. Cooper was a year younger than me, he was a wild kid, always taking things to the risk or the extreme. Super fast as well, faster than all of the kids on the playground, running was one of his passions. Cooper once told me that when he grows up he'll become a track star. As silly as it sound he had my full support, because you could never say no to Cooper. You could never tell him what to do.

I on the other hand was the balance for Cooper's wild behavior. Much more soft spoken and tame for a 10 year old. I may have not been the fastest runner, but I sure did have a good arm at throwing things. I had a goal, to become the world's best baseball player. It was my dream after all, to be on the professional teams and be famous. I wanted to make my mom proud

I must admit some of my behavior is like that, mostly because I was a mommas boy. It was just her and I after all, which I didn't mind. Though sometimes Cooper would joke that his dad, who was also single, should marry my mom so that we can be brothers and live together. I always told him that we wouldn't need legal documents in order to be brothers. As long as we stick together we will always be brothers.

Well that promise didn't last long... Cooper and I wear out in the front yard of my house, playing baseball as usual. I was using my new metal bat that I got for my birthday, it was much stronger than my old wooden bat. We were having a fun time, Cooper was about to throw the ball until he arm suddenly dropped and let go of the ball.

"What's wrong?" I asked as I turned my head to see what Cooper was now looking at. My eyes widen and I start to feel the same sense of fear that Cooper might be feeling. Two black cars parked in my driveway, and five government agents came out of them. My heart skips a beat. It can't be.

I watched as the knocked on the front door of my home, my mom answering it a second later. The government agents start talking to her, and even though I couldn't hear what they were saying, I could tell by the look on mom's face that this way good.

Cooper tugged on my sleeve. "You don't think the president actually signed that bill right?..." Cooper looked worried now, and I so was I. I clenched my fist into my shirt.

"He would only sign it if war ever started....." The realization dawned upon us both. My lips trembled. "I don't want to go to war...." I mumbled those words with tears falling from my eyes.

That was the last day I ever saw my mom again.

That was the day I was robed of everything.

Strike 1

A 10 year old out in the battlefields of war, that isn't something you saw everyday. But here I was, fearing that my life could end at any moment in these trenches. And it would be like this for the next 9 years.

It took some adjusting to, though there was no time to adjust. Hand a gun to a 10 year old and tell him to go to the trenches and figure it out. I wasn't even given training. They didn't care. They wouldn't care about me. I was a child who would get in their way.

I didn't blame them. After all this wasn't the military decision after all, it was the horrible president at the time who made this decision. What the Nimone government did was cruel. They went through every legal citizen document and determined who would be drafted into war. We already had plenty of men above 18 drafted, but it wasn't enough. With the law at the time, anyone who was above 10 years old, could be drafted if they were proved useful enough to be used.

And that's what upset me the most. That I was just some weapon in their eyes. A tool to be once and never again. I wasn't the only one upstairs though. Many parents and families were upstairs by this dumb decision. It wasn't just families either, it was our own men as well who were outraged by this decision.

Upon my first day at the military base I met the leader of my unit squad, Captain Ross. He was a tall and well built man, always having a cigarette in hand and giving cold gazes at everyone. It was scary first meetings him. After all, the captains in the Nimone are train and built to be unstoppable military weapons. Nothing can stop them, and they will not stop until they are dead.

Being compared to this grown man compared to me was quite scary contrast. I was just some tiny kid compared to him. We both looked at each other for the first time and I can tell by the look in his mustard yellow eyes that he was displeased. There was a scoff as Ross stared down at me. "Who the Hell put a 10 year old in my unit squad? This is a kid, he should be home, not here about to die for our country." At least Ross and I were on the same page. Who's mess up idea was this anyways?

Everything from that day forward continued to go down. You expect the 10 year old to be a helper in transporting supplies or be in the med bay, but no I was thrown straight to the front lines. The trenches. The conditions of trenches were horrible, but the treatment around here was worse.

I wasn't given proper clothes that were my size, everything I worn was made for grown men. I had to learn how to sew to keep my shirt together because I wasn't given new clothes. I been wearing the same shirt the militarily gave me for over 10 years now.

The bunks were hard as rocks, I could barely sleep. That's even if I could sleep at all within the anxiety that any moment a bomb could drop on us. Sometimes I didn't even get to sleep in bed. Someone I would pass out in the trenches or on the floor. I had to push myself to still be barely functional.

They needed me after all, all for my ability. It was either fighting in the trenches, or infiltrating the enemy team as a spy. With my ability I could look, sound, and act like someone else as long as I had a single strand of their DNA on a peice of clothing for me to wear, I could transform to be like them. Mirror Mirror, I called it. This was useful to the military, since I had to use it a lot. My ability was the only reason why I was still living while fellow soliders fall dead to the floor before my eyes.

They all started calling me DNA, Levi DNA, since that's what I was to them. I was called that name so many times that to this day I can't remember my own real last name now. That war has made me forget a lot of things.

Strike 2

I try to suppress the memories and nightmares so hard, but at the cost of forgetting anything good before the war. I was robed of the memories of my childhood because of it. Even if I did try to forget, the ones that were the worse always lingered in the back of my mind. All those moments of being in pain and suffering. Everything was starting to become dull around 18.

This was had been going on for so long that I was loosing my reason to keep fighting. As if I ever had a reason to in the first place. I was just doing what I was told. Go spy on these guys, aim for the head, use your ability, back to the battlefield you go. All words that have no importance to me anymore.

I remember one time I was in the medical bay, I had gotten badly injured, but even in that moment I couldn't rest for long. Dr. Ikari, a young man who never got to finish school, had to patch me up. Unfortunately he had to send me right back out to the battlefield a minute after he was done attending me. I could tell by the look in his eyes that we were feeling the same thing. This dullness that we both felt. I barely talked to him, but I could tell that both of our worlds were become gray.

When I was around 19 I thought there was nothing left to look forward to. The war was slowing down but I was already numb. Or so I thought until one day I saw a familiar face. Jumps off the bus was a familiar red head, it was Cooper! For the first moment in a long time I smiled as I saw him. He spotted me and we waved to each other. He still recognized me! I never felt more happy in that moment.

At last we can be like brothers again. Things became less dull, there was some color back into my life. Things were finally looking up. We would sit in the dining hall, eating the worst food, but that didn't matter to me. I got to talk to. My best friend.

Cooper would catch me up on everything that I have missed and I would vent to him about how this war was. His optimism brought up my spirits, which brought me to ease. He barely has changed since I last saw him, my same old buddy. We promised that once this war was over that we would support each other while we fulfilled our dreams. A track star and a baseball player.

Strike 3

That promise didn't stay.

I was robed again.

I could never forget that moment.

We were out in the battlefield, trying to traverse no man's land, our side finally had the upper hand in closing end on the enemy. But we lost many men that day, including Cooper.

He didn't react faster in time. Before I knew it, I was cradling his dying body in my arms, blood dripping from his forehead. Cooper was shot in the head. I couldn't stop crying. I wasn't even fighting anymore. All I did was lay on the battlefield, holding him closer to me. "Please don't leave me. Please don't leave me." I would mumble to myself through tears.

But he left. I believe now that he's resting well with God in heaven.

In that moment I could forgive myself. I couldn't forgive the enemy team. I couldn't forgive our own government for all of this. Things were becoming dull again, but there was this redness starting to boil in the inside of me. This ticking time bomb.

Then it happened.

I had enough.

The day I finally snapped.

I'm out

I regret everything I have done in that span of a week. I was the reason why things got worse. It was little things at first. Ignoring Ross commands, running straight into dangerous territory and slaughtering the enemies, or throwing a grenade at helicopters. Then it got worse, I destroyed many of our own military weapons and transport, with some of our own men still in them. I set some of the base on fire. Gave valuable information to the enemy team. Held hostages of innocent people. Many things.

All these things became documented, published for all the public to see. Soon Levi DNA became a name to hate. I was a danger to everyone around me. That I need to be killed or locked up away forever.

There were two final straws that let to my arrest. The president at the time came over to the base, there for a impossible meeting. He was the reason why I was suffering like this. With all the rage built up in me, I tried to assassinate the president. It took 6 guys to stop me from doing so.

But I wasn't done that day. The worst thing that I have done was use me ability for a murder. I transformed to look like Captain Ross, committing a murder on the previous vice captain at that time, making it look like he was the one who did it. I baseball almost ruined his name and reputation.

He hated me that day since.

There I was, now arrested and locked away in a high prison facility. Ross took the pleasure to torture me in breaking my spirit, in which he did. There was nothing to look forward to anymore. Everything had became gray once again. I felt nothing as I sat in my dark cell, chained to the wall. I didn't deserve good treatment. I didn't deserve kindness or anything good. After all a criminal, a monster, doesn't deserve anything at all.

There was no reason for me to live anymore, and I was ready to accept that.

For a long time in that cell I would be in my own little headspace, daydreaming that I was living a better life with my family and friends. It was my only "joy" left. But even that couldn't be enough.

I was ready to end it all, yet a tiny part of me told me not yet. One more chance. I try to ignore that tiny bit of hope left, but I caved in. I made a promise to myself, that if I could not find a reason to continue on living in a month, then I would end it all.

So I acted. With brute force I broke out of that prison. I snuck onto a boat headed towards Japan. I free myself and upon leaving Nimone to Japan, I did find one major thing to keep me living. The sun and rakn. The sun was so warm and bright, great against my skin and the rain was so calming and cooling.

This was my chance to start again.

Back in the game

Upon arriving to Japan, I ended up in Yoko's city. There I was already lost and confused. I didn't know where to go or where to stay. I didn't know Japanese so asking for help was a impossible.

For my first few weeks there I was a hobo, wandering around, taking food out of trash cans. I found a abandon car to sleep in for the nights, but I barely got sleep. Things weren't looking good again. I desperately needed a job.

But who would hire a criminal?

That's until I stumbled upon this building and this man with probably over 20 children. His name was Mr Fukuzawa. And upon meeting him, my life was never the same again. Things changed, for the good this time. And I was welcomed into a new life with such amazing and kind people. My world had color again.

I'm forever thankful for that day.

Thank you.

[chenlbear]

jaemin x afab reader

warnings: smut, pet names (angel, sweetheart).

a/n: well, i attempted to write smut after not doing so for ages. im hoping this is good enough! (and yes, this was based off of bridgerton, i just binge watched it and jaemin was the first person who popped into my head).

The two of you were only wedded for 3 weeks and it was already going downhill. Yes, the honeymoon phase was brilliant, having fun together and ignoring each others responsibilities of being duke and duchess but it shortly ended in many many fights, avoiding each other at no cost. Everyone could sense what happened. It was normal.

You were about to exit your room but heard Jaemin's heavy footsteps on the ground, “y/n, are you asleep already?” He sighed, no response but he could see you through the tiny crack in the door. "You can't hide, I saw you already."

You open your door a pinch, gently stepping out from behind it without uttering a word to your husband. "Come on angel. I want to talk with you out here, you can spare me two minutes, yeah?" You nod your head at him and exit your room, moving to the staircase that sat between your two bedrooms.

"What is it?" You mumble as you look up at the male, "You haven't been in all day and you decide now is a good time to talk? Being out for god knows how long and with whom ever it might be."

Shock struck Jaemin’s face, "With whom? Is that what you think of me?" He scoffed.

“I thought we-" You cut him off by scoffing and tried to walk away but he grabbed your wrist before you could and you sat you down on the stairs. "I believe we aren't finished, is that really what you think of me, y/n?"

"I believe that is. You clearly don't think much of me or our marriage just because of these petty arguments. We have responsibilities to handle, don't you realise that?" He bent down to your level, slotting himself in between your legs, his hands slowly hiking up the nightgown you adorned. "How about I show you I truly do think so much of you and our marriage? Make you think about just me and not any silly worries clouding that pretty little head of yours.”

"Jaem.. you can't just do this when we get angry with one another, its not going to.." Your breath hitched as his face got closer to yours, his soft breath hitting your face. "Really? I do believe it has worked in the past, y/n." He smirked and pressed his lips against your temple, working his way down.

His hand lifts up under the bottom of your nightdress, his hands lingering on your inner thigh, looking at you asking if its okay if he can go further. You nod but thats not good enough for him, "Words sweetheart."

"Y-Yes Jaem, please.. need you to touch me." You breath out as you grab his hand and guide it to where you need him the most and he tuts, "Someones greedy, have you been so deprived of me? Poor baby having to wait so long for someone to touch her."

"Hurry up, will you? You don't want to get caught from the maids." Jaemin chuckled, "As you please." He pushed himself back, allowing his head to travel down to your thighs instead, nipping and licking the skin that lead to your aching core. You let out a soft moan, moving your hands to his hair to which he happily took with a low groan from the tight grip you had on his locks already.

He used his spare hand to move your panties down your thighs, the other pressing your hip down roughly to keep you in place. He began kitty licking you, soon becoming more rough with his tongue shoved inside you and his nose rubbing against your clit.

[the-owl-tree]

I'm sorry if I've asked you this before, I genuinely don't remember, but why does everyone dislike yellowfang's secret? I like it a lot as a story, I find her powers silly but no one seems to have that issue... What is it?

It's been a while since I've read it so I'm going off of memory but my general reasons why I had so many problems getting through the book were:

Yellowfang herself isn't really Yellowfang? She's not snappy or grumpy and doesn't really act in the same way she does in TNP. She's just kind of the punching bag of the book without any of her signature sass to at least make her as a protagonist enjoyable.

The power in itself is an unnecessary retcon, it's only there to force Yellowfang into becoming a medcat and, well, there lies an even bigger issue: we are once again recycling the plotline of a cat forced to be a medcat when oooghgh they just wanna be average :( it's frustrating to me that Yellowfang gets so much of her own autonomy ripped away in this book, to the point where she can't even CHOOSE to be a medcat.

Her backstory in the original books was that she was a Warriors turned medcat and that's interesting. The life of the warrior is glamorized, it's the ideal life for Clan cats, so characters who CHOOSE to turn their back on it to heal are really interesting conceptually! The powers completely ruin this, it's a cheap cop out that's forgotten as soon as the book doesn't have to force Yellowfang into a job she should've wanted.

Why do books treat this position like a punishment or something embarrassing. It's Bad Writing above all because the position is important! It is a necessary part of the Clan to function, medcats should be treated with respect! But that's a whole other response.

That's also where Sagewhisker comes in, the mentor figure who, uh, pressures Yellowfang into doing something she doesn't want to do and yet the narrative continues to affirm is Correct.

I could go on but Bonefall has a good post on Sagewhisker that I personally agree with that adds screenshots and details.

It's just....miserable watching Yellowfang be dragged into a position she doesn't want and I don't know why they would choose the most miserable possible route with this character.

That's not even getting into Raggedstar, the good ol' abusive male love interest who's actions are swept under the rug as he guilt trips, berates, and generally treats Yellowfang like garbage! Despite an entire super edition of abuse and the website acknowledging he's abusive - his actions will never fully be held accountable and he will consistently be portrayed as the Nice Leader who just wanted what was best for his Clan <3

His own abuse of Yellowfang is never acknowledged and fuck's sakes the books play the Nightcloud card and go "well, guess what, it's a WOMAN'S fault that Brokenstar happened!"

In a book already swimming with misogynistic writing, the authors decided to up the ante and introduce Lizardstripe: the mean bitch mom who doesn't want to be a mom and that's all you need to be told to know she's an abusive evil woman.

The book will never actually show you scenes of her being abusive, they will literally just write scenes of her saying she doesn't want to be a mother as a shorthand of her being abusive.

I'm sure this definitely doesn't factor into the writing team's incredibly conservative ideology towards motherhood's and women's roles.

I'm gonna link Bonefall again, he's just good posts that really delve into the problems with this and I'd honestly just be reiterating a lot of his posts if I talked on my own lol

Yellowfang's Secret takes everything interesting about Yellowfang and just flat out ignores it or makes it worse. It's miserable to read, it's just page after page of Yellowfang getting beaten down.

And you could argue that's the point, that Yellowfang believes she deserves her troubles, but I don't think that's the case. I think the book is just troubling in its handling of motherhood and abuse, it handles them poorly.

Bad Book i guess. sucks! i think Yellowfang as a character could fill up an entire super edition, but the one they wrote is miserable garbage.

I can't even remember the plot outside the medcat stuff. Idk mean clan cat invasion time for no reason?? Uuhh kittypet attack?? i don't find it memorable outside of the stuff that actively upset me.

[chaifootsteps]

Speaking of blitzø being happy without stolas, I think of the couch scene parallels. Stolas whimpering and crying all alone, fantasising and obsessing about Blitzø. Contrast to Blitzø, content, silly, smiling and just happier than ever. Eating his favourite foods, watching his favourite shows, making a bond with Asmodeus and helping create a support system for a friend going through a hard time. If this parallel is supposed to show how “perfect for each other” they are, it failed.

I thought episodes 6 and 7 were going to be the start of his new arc, he shows protectiveness empathy and restraint to help his beloved friend not once but twice. Apologises for things, and gets a hug. I thought he’d change because he wanted to change, that the positive reinforcement of that embrace and gratitude would motivate him to open up more and try harder.

He seems to light up every time he gets told he’s doing a good job, and just wants that affirmation. I feel like if I were to write him redeeming himself, I’d start by having his closest family (Mox Millie and Loona) telling him they’re sick of him butting into their lives, and before he can get too desolate they say they’re sick of it because they never get to ask him about his. “You’ve met our families, shaked our fathers hands, helped us. We want to know about yours. We want to know why you act the way you do.”

Show that they care enough about him to want to know about his past, who the people in the picture frames are (like Loonas aunt!) why he changed his name. We had a hint of that in spring breakers and it was nice. They didn’t ask questions, they just helped him against Verosika without needing to. Because he was mad at her for bullying moxxie (which he does too, but still). His life is interesting. And it suddenly occurs to him that it’s not just that they don’t like his behaviour, but that he’s behaving in an unequal way. It’s hard to consider someone a friend when they know everything about you, but you know nothing about them. Have Loona say she can’t fully accept him as her father when she doesn’t know who he and her extended family, is. That would Segway so nicely into a story arc of learning about his past, with a foundation of found family, and the bond of IMP.

People grow and change through empathy and positive reinforcement with a goal of loving themselves. Not by ganging up on someone, publicly laughing at them as a crowd, screaming their failings in their face, and threatening to leave. I hate that shot of blitzø looking tiny and broken under a sheet, while stolas is on stage smiling and laughing at his expense, and the trailer trying to tell me this moment is when Blitzø “realised how beautiful stolas is and fell in love” oh vomit. He already hates himself, blames himself for everyone’s problems, and is severely afraid of being hated. So this plot looks deeply, deeply mean spirited and cruel. Fuck stolas and his giant army of fans and defenders inside and outside the show.

He sucks.

He does, and you know what also sucks? The fact that right now, with Stolas leaving him alone and Fizz back in his life, Blitz has been the happiest and most well-adjusted we've ever seen him.

[dsaf-confessions]

important announcement

okay so modred here!!! and i am about to share my total, unbiased, unfiltered and honest thoughts.

i am leaving the blog

yes yes i know i try to act unbothered by everything but its scary how everything changed so fast! did you know i was actually considering sharing my main on here because i thought this place was so chill? safe to say im glad i did not do that.

i've tried to win the idgaf war but the truth is its killing me. im fighting in the idgaf war and im losing. it feels like its been months since it started, but its not even been three weeks. just over two, im pretty sure. its not even been three weeks since i've turned 15 years old!

two days after my 15th birthday this started!! what unfortunate timing. and honestly, ive got exams in less than a month, and i've been so stressed about everything. not just exams, not just internet drama, but like a secret third thing too.

its super scary to admit im being stressed out by all of this considering that there are people whove taken pride in upsetting me and for what crime? they're old posts. i was 14 when i posted them. id apologised. id listened to advice. i'd improved. but all because one day someone decided they didn't like the blog, this entire account collapsed and so did my mental health with it it seemed.

i dont like being honest. i just like to laugh about everything. i know certain people are going to be laughing and proud that they've made me leave this blog while reading this post, and while thats the reason ive been scared to leave this whole time, they're going to do that anyway. they're going to keep hating me. so the least i could do is try to put myself first rather than try to push through it using spite as my motivator.

i know there will likely be people bragging on their accounts that they've made me leave (im aware of what people are saying). and that upsets me. i wont lie. but at the end of the day, if you find yourself being proud of making a newly turned 15 year old leave an account that they once found comfort in, then thats more of a judge of character about you than me.

its scary how people can decide that they don't like you one day and make a post ruining everything, and its scary how people can act comforting to your face and then go ahead and brag about how upset they've made you to someone else, but in the end i cannot control what people say and at the end of the day i can only control what i do and who i surround myself with and thats why im leaving.

im not leaving the discord, or the dsaf fandom at all, but i am getting far away from this blog and blocking everyone who hates me because thats all i can do. all i can request is that if you know who i am, keep it secret. and if you somehow find me, please dont try to talk to me.

i think i'll just talk with my friends and post my silly little art and things without becoming a known name. its the only way to exist in fandom i think.

but wait! this blog wont die!

you see, as you were reading this post with tears in your eyes, i had secretly been assigning not just one, but two new admins for the blog! i trust them to keep it running, but also if you guys treat them terribly i give them full permission to delete this entire account. they need to put themselves first too.

so, my last words to the dsaf confessions blog?

change da world. my final message. goodbye. /ref

uhh just kidding!! final message is: if you dont like this blog, block it. if you dont like me, then we'll leave this here and forget this drama ever happened. dont try to make my past mistakes these guys problems. as soon as i hit post im leaving this blog, so any hate you try to send towards me will not go through to me. you wont even be screaming into the void either, just at some innocent people.

thats all i have to say. ily all!!! /p

-modred

[kaslanist]

are you guys seeing the vision

also happy "il siracusano finally got announced" to those who celebrate

[viveela]

Playing together as real friends

[nothingbizzare]

Three tipes of people on valentine's day

[iiep-wop]

Not to get sentimental on main but I actually love the Tumblr Red Dwarf fandom so much

I've not been here the longest, I will admit, in the time I've been here everyone I've chatted to or interacted with has been so sweet. I don't think I've ever seen any massive discourses or arguments (actually I don't think I've seen any on here(Tumblr specifically), but that's just cause I don't think I am good at noticing when drama happens haha)

And there's almost never ending fanart's and theory's which you can find from years ago, buried in the site which means that although at the moment theres maybe 30 of us (at a stretch) who'd consider ourselves to be part of the fandom, there's still so much to explore and find

There's so many talented people creating gorgeous art, comics, edits or fics and I feel so lucky to be able to know you guys, genuinely y'all are amazing

We're all just a bunch of silly little guys enjoying our stupid silly space sitcom <33