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fific7 · 3 years

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Fake or Fortune

For @omgrachwrites 1K Follower Celebration - congratulations!

AU: Fake Relationship

Billy Russo x Reader

A/N: This does not follow canon, it takes place in my Alternative S1 Punisher Universe, with Arrogant!Billy in attendance.

Warnings: 18+ NSFW due to sexual content, slightly questionable consent, some dom/sub interaction, oral and unprotected* sex between consenting adults. Swearing and drinking.

*Irl, please don’t go wild in the country without protection.

(My Photo Edit)

Karen put a large G&T down in front of you, accompanied by a sympathetic look. You picked it up and took a large sip, sighing as you put it back down again.

“I give up, Karen. No matter what I do, without fail I either pick the wrong guy or else think everything’s fine, and then boom - it isn’t.”

This was a commiseration drinking session, which Karen had suggested after she’d noticed you moping around the office. You both worked at the same big newspaper but in different departments, and became good friends after spending numerous lunchtimes together in the staff restaurant.

“What happened this time?” she asked, then winced as she realised maybe that wasn’t the most tactful way of putting things. “I mean, I thought you and David were getting on really well?” You took a larger gulp of your drink, “Well, that’s the thing - so did I. Until I got the “it’s not you, it’s me” talk on Saturday.” You’d been seeing this guy from your Digital News Content section for a few months, and you’d really thought everything had been on track.

Karen sighed, “Oh lord, not that old pile of bullshit.” You nodded, “Yeah, right. I tried to pin him down to exactly what the problem was, but I guess it was just me, when it all came down to it. In fact, I saw him chatting up a girl from Accounts yesterday so he’s already moved on to pastures new. That didn’t take long, did it? Or maybe he’d already moved on but didn’t have the balls to tell me.”

“Look, I’m meeting up with Frank on Friday night for a drink...” her cheeks pinked up, and you smiled at her obvious pleasure in that thought, “....so why don’t you come along? He mentioned one of his friends might tag along.” You held up a hand, “Oh no! No! I’m not being set up.” She shook her head, “It’s not a set-up, I swear. They’ve got a little....issue.... with Homeland and we’re going to talk about it.”

You knew she’d recently met this ex-Marine called Frank when - in her role as investigative reporter - she’d been digging into some big CIA scandal. When was there not a scandal about the CIA, you thought. You knew she’d met him several times over the past couple of weeks and had detected a more-than-just-business interest in him. “Oh, so.... strictly business, then?” you teased. She shifted in her seat, “Well, mainly.... we’ve also been talking about more personal stuff.” “Uh-huh,” you nodded, smirking, “Karen fancies Frank, Karen fancies Frank!” you sang, while she batted your arm and gave an embarrassed laugh.

“Oh shut up, you,” she said, “...are you coming along or not?”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

And that’s why you found yourself sitting in a neighbourhood bar with Karen on Friday night, feeling quite nervous for some reason. Probably because Karen was fidgeting like hell next to you, and you were picking up on her nervous energy. You smiled over at her, “So you really like this guy, huh?” “No!”she denied, then as you raised an eyebrow at her, “Well... okay, yes I do like him. He’s so sweet.” Her eyes widened as she spoke, catching sight of two approaching figures, “Oh! Here he comes.” A big bear of a man came up to your table, smiling broadly at Karen and then including you in the smile as he stopped beside you. “Hey, Karen,” he greeted her, and she beamed back at him. “Hey, Frank,” and then she introduced you to him. His friend, who’d been partially blocked from your sight by Frank’s bulk, moved out from behind him and said ‘Hi - I’m Billy Russo,’ and shook your hand as he did so. “Nice ta meet ya,” said Frank, also shaking your hand and sitting down in the booth next to Karen.

The man who’d just introduced himself as Billy slid in next to you, and you tried not to stare. He was hot. Like, really hot. Dressed in a smart suit and overcoat, he really didn’t look like an ex-Marine, but Karen had told you that both Frank and his friend were ex-service, and that the friend had opened up a security firm called Anvil when he left the Marines. His handsome face turned towards you, and two very dark eyes looked into yours, “So.... you’re a friend of Karen’s?” You nodded, “Yeah, we just worked together to start with but now we’re besties.” “You a reporter too?” “Nah, I’m a lowly sub-editor on the news desk.” A sudden thought occurred to you, “Oh... and just to reassure you, this isn’t a set-up... you and me, I mean.” He smirked, and you found yourself staring at his lush brushed-back hair and sculpted jaw with its light beard. “Would it have been a big problem if it had been?” he was saying to you, and you shook yourself out of your little trance.

“No, I guess not...” you replied, laughing nervously, “...but I just wanted to get it out there.” He looked you over appraisingly, “Well, I wouldn’t have been disappointed at all,” the smirk got bigger, “....so if you change your mind, just let me know.” This left you speechless but he was still looking at you, asking, “Whaddya want to drink? First round’s on me,” before turning his gaze to the others.

Several beers later, you were sitting listening to the other three talking about a lot of indecipherable nonsense (from your point of view), and you were beginning to get antsy. “Karen, I’m going to head off,” you said in a break in the conversation and she looked slightly guilty, “Oh sorry... we’ve been going on about this for ages.” You shrugged, “It’s fine, Karen, honestly. I’ll see you Monday, okay? Have a great weekend.” You turned to the guys, “You too, and thanks for the drinks,” and made to move out of the booth. But Billy didn’t move. “See you home?” he questioned you, and you saw small smiles on both Karen and Frank’s faces. “Yeah, okay,” you nodded, and then he moved, standing aside as you slid out of the booth. As you headed to the door through the crowd of people, you felt his arm snaking around your lower back. Oooh, very confident, you thought. You’d marked him out as a player as soon as you’d set eyes on him.

“Sorry about the boring shop talk,” he said as you both hit the street, “....me and Frankie’ve got some problems with Homeland right now.” “That doesn’t sound good,” you said as you found yourself being guided around the corner from the bar. “Oh, I was going to take the subway,” you protested, but he shook his head, “This time on a Friday night? Nah.” He pointed towards a rather flashy-looking car parked in the street, “Got the car with me so I’ll take you home. I only had one beer, case you didn’t notice.” “I didn’t,” you admitted, “I thought you were sinking beers like the rest of us.” He gave a low laugh, “I was a sniper in the service, so I like to be aware of my surroundings at all times.” A little frisson ran through you, this guy was quite dangerous, you could tell. As you reached the car, he held the passenger door open for you and you climbed in, trying to be as elegant as possible although you weren’t sure you quite achieved that.

As he started the engine and moved the car out into the flow of traffic, he asked, “So what made you come along tonight if it wasn’t a set-up?” “I was bored. I just split up with my boyfriend of a few months so...” you shrugged. You heard a chuckle, “His loss.” “I don’t think that’s what he thought,” you replied, with a self-deprecating laugh. “Well, it’s true,” said Billy, “...believe me. He must be mad to give you up.” “You silver-tongued charmer,” you said back to him, and again you heard his deep chuckle.

“Seriously, it’s my gain. Look, this might seem a bit of an odd request seein’ as how we’ve only just met...” he began, looking across at you as he pulled up outside your apartment block, “....but you’d be doin’ me a big favour. How ‘bout you come along to this charity event I gotta go to next week? As my ‘plus one’?” You hesitated, and he carried on, “No strings, I promise. Just come along as my girlfriend and be on my arm all night. Help me ward off the attentions of someone I’d rather avoid.” You scoffed, “Fake dating? Really?!”

Much to your surprise, you found yourself walking into your building a few minutes later having just agreed to go to this event with Billy. He’d looked pleased, thanking you for saying yes. And you’d also been on the receiving end of a surprise kiss from him. He’d suddenly leant in, slid his big hand around the back of your neck and pulled you in, his mouth finding yours as he did. The kiss had been short but very sexy and you were still tingling from the after-effects.

He’d laughed at your look of total surprise, and wished you sweet dreams. You’d better be careful, warned your internal guardian angel, he said ‘No Strings’.... remember? So don’t go getting all invested in this guy. He’s a player.... for sure.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy and you had swapped numbers, and the following morning you were pleasantly surprised to get a text asking if you could meet him later that day. Intrigued, you texted back saying you didn’t have any other plans but why did he need to meet up? He came back saying he’d had an idea to help out with the event next week, and said he could pick you up. Feeling like you could be making a big mistake, you agreed so he said he’d be at your place around two.

You made sure you dressed casually. Not having any idea where you were going, but sure it wouldn’t be a date as such, you just chose a shirt and jeans with some suede ankle boots. When Billy texted you to say he was parked outside, you left your apartment and locked up, feeling a spark of excitement run through you as you did. “This is not a date, this is not a date, this is not a date!” you chanted in your head as you went downstairs. Billy, you saw with relief, was also dressed casually in jeans, t-shirt, leather jacket and combat boots. He gave you a big grin as you got in the car, the luxurious leather aroma of the interior filling your nostrils. “What make of car is this?” you asked, being an “it’s a black one” kind of girl. He gave you what could only be described as a smug smile, “Rolls Royce Wraith, sweetheart,” he answered. “Oh, okay,” you said, “....expensive, I take it?” “Very.” “Surprised you park it on the street the way you do then,” you shrugged, and he burst out laughing. “Is it one of those so-called penis extensions?” you asked next, and Billy nearly choked he was laughing so hard.

“Firstly, I take it that means you aren’t particularly impressed,” he gasped, getting his breath back after his laughing fit, “...and secondly, no darlin’, it definitely isn’t one of those ‘penis extensions‘ as you put it. Got no need for one-a those.” You returned his smirk, “Really? Well, I don’t care what car a guy drives,” you said firmly, “...that’s got nothing to do with what he’s like.” He glanced across at you as he swung the car into one of the downtown underground car parks. “And what do you think I’m like?” You looked at his profile as he concentrated on parking the big car in a corner space, “Mmmm... I think you’ve had a hard upbringing and now you’re making up for it. Big time.”

Billy switched the engine off and turned to stare at you, the dark eyes drilling into yours with an intensity you hadn’t been expecting. “Wow,” said Billy, “....you sure you’re not one-a these psychoanalysts or somethin’?” “Definitely,” you replied. “Well, you sure sound like you’ve been analysing me, sweetheart,” he said. You didn’t know him well enough to gauge his mood, and he carried on, “I mean, you got all that from meetin’ me last night and just now?” You nodded, saying neutrally, “I’m just speculating of course... but the expensive suits, the car, and I bet a big flashy apartment too, it just says ‘I can afford this now and I’m gonna enjoy it’ to me.” You were relieved to hear a chuckle as you’d been worried you’d really offended him. “Spot on,” he said, “...yeah, you’re spot on. I think you’re maybe in the wrong business.” You decided to change the subject, “So... where are we going, Billy?” “You’ll see in a minute,” he grinned, “....c’mon, let’s go sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Minutes later, you were standing outside one of the expensive and trendy boutiques in the area. Billy’s hand went under your elbow and he steered you inside. “Billy... what’s going on?” He nodded to one of the staff who started making her way over to the two of you. “Look, it was my bright idea to drag you along to this thing, so the least I can do is treat you to a new outfit.” You were shaking your head before he’d stopped speaking, “Oh no, no... I can’t let you do that!” He was nodding back at you - it must’ve looked quite comical to the store assistant, “Oh yes, you will - I insist.” He turned to the woman, “Please can you help my girlfriend pick out an outfit for a formal event?” And before you could say anything else, he’d wandered over to a seating area near the changing rooms and seated himself in a comfortable armchair. “I’ll be right here, sweets,” he said, beaming at you. Girlfriend indeed, you thought.

The store assistant looked expectantly at you and you nodded hesitantly at her, so she led you over to some rails filled with lots of beautiful dresses. “How nice of your boyfriend to buy you a whole new outfit,” she commented, beginning to slide the dresses back and forth along the rail looking for a selection for you, “He’s very charming,” she continued, admiringly. “Yes, isn’t he,” you said between gritted teeth. Truthfully, you were feeling as if you were out shopping with your sugar daddy. But you had to admit that your bank account would’ve been protesting loudly if you’d had to make the purchase yourself, and you definitely would’ve had to buy something new as nothing in your wardrobe was even remotely suitable for a formal event. And he was right, this was all his bright idea. So you’d just suck it up, you thought, however reluctantly.

Eventually the assistant had several dresses folded over her arm for you to try on, and you sailed past Billy to the changing rooms without as much as a glance at him. But you just knew he was staring at you as disappeared behind the curtain.

After twenty minutes of struggling in and out of the various dresses, you had to admit that the assistant had made some good choices. There were three that you really liked, and you finally chose a midnight blue silky sheath of mid-thigh length, an asymmetric one-shoulder-strap neckline and a swirl of sequins diagonally across it from neck to hem. It was tight-fitting but didn’t show off an excessive amount of skin - you didn’t want to have it all out there on show after all.

The assistant had also brought several pairs of shoes to you once you’d chosen your dress, and you picked out a pair of matching delicate strappy sandals. Pleased with your choices, you put your own clothes back on and went out to find Billy. He looked up from his phone as you exited the changing room, a disappointed look on his face, “What.... no catwalk show for your boyfriend?” You leant down and whispered, “Okay, you’re laying it on a bit thick, Russo,” to which he grinned, gently took hold of your chin and softly kissed you. “You’re welcome, sweetheart,” he smirked. Then a horrible thought occurred to you, “Billy!” you whispered forcefully. He looked a bit nervously at you, “What?” “There was no price tag on that dress or the shoes either!” He waved a hand at you, “Yeah? That’s okay, just leave it to me.” “No! That’s not on. I’m going to ask her what the price is.” He jumped up out of the armchair, “Nah, nah! Told ya, it was my idea you come along so just let me do this, okay?”

He set off without further delay to the cash desk, while you reluctantly waited in the seating area. Not particularly comfortable with the idea of him buying you an outfit, you decided that you’d offer to buy him dinner to kind of offset his no doubt hefty bill for the dress purchase. He came back over to you a few moments later carrying a large box in one of the boutique’s carrier bags which he handed to you with a grin. “She’d already boxed it before I could see it so it’s still gonna be a surprise when I see it on the night.” You smirked back, you were quite pleased about that. “Billy, let me buy you dinner as a thank you for the dress.” “Okay, I won’t say no to a free dinner,” he grinned, “...where d’ya wanna go?” You mentally reviewed your bank balance and named a mid-priced restaurant close by.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

After a pleasant couple of hours chatting over dinner, Billy drove you home. Debating how to end the night, you came up with what you felt was a decent plan. Not that you were trying to extend the evening of course. That would be just plain stupid as the ‘relationship’ was all a big fake. Remember? your brain asked you. “You know Billy, we haven’t prepared a back story yet, have we?” you said as he drew up outside your place. “A back story?” “Yeah. I mean, if this person you’re trying to avoid happens to ask us - together or separately - about our relationship, we need to be singing from the same songsheet, don’t we?” He looked thoughtful, “Uh yeah, you’ve got a point there.” “OK, well how about you come in for a glass of wine or a coffee and we can get that sorted now?” A devilish smirk appeared, “Plannin’ to ravish me, sweetheart?”

You felt your face heat up with a sudden blush, “No!! Purely to agree on the back story. But hey - we can just text about it if you’d prefer!” Embarrassed, you grabbed your bags, opened the car door and began to get out, but Billy grabbed your arm, “Hey, hey, sweetheart - I’m just kiddin’. Hold on an’ I’ll park up. We can walk up together.” You huffed slightly and closed the car door again, while Billy looked around for a parking space. Once parked, the two of you went up to your apartment and you unlocked the door, waving him inside and over to the sofa while you stashed the bags and headed to the kitchen area. “What would you like? Wine, beer or coffee?” “I’d better just have a coffee,” he said, “...don’t wanna get drunk and pass out in your apartment. Not a good look.” “I don’t see you as a ‘getting drunk’ kinda guy, Billy. You already told me you like to be aware of your surroundings.” He laughed, “You’re right, I don’t make a habit of gettin’ wasted.”

So you switched on your coffee machine and asked what kind of coffee he’d like, holding up a handful of different capsules. He strolled over to you, draping his leather jacket over the back of one of the high stools at your breakfast bar as he reached you. He leaned down slightly and looked at the selection you had in your hand, and you were suddenly very aware of the scent of his aftershave. “Whattya got there, then?” You took his hand and dumped them all in it, saying, “I’m just gonna fill up the water jug while you decide,” and moving swiftly away from him. You were finding it very difficult indeed to ignore the magnetic attraction he was exerting over you, but you really had to try harder as you were only going to end up getting hurt otherwise. He held out a capsule toward you, “Americano’s fine,” he said.

The two cups of coffee made a few moments later, you led him back over to the sofa and you both sat down at opposite ends. “Okayyyy,” said Billy, “....back story then?” You nodded, “Yeah. Nothing too fancy as the less details we have to remember the better.” “Good idea. We should probably add in some truth too. So.... we met through Karen & Frank?” “Yes, that’s a good start. Where did we meet and how long have we been seeing each other?” “Neighbourhood bar, and a coupla months?” “Okay, yeah. Actually is that about it? That was easier than I thought! Or...what else might they ask? Who is this person you’re avoiding - are they gonna be really nosy?” Billy snorted, “Oh yeah! Her name’s Caroline, a spoilt rich bitch. Her father owns a tech company and he supplies some of our equipment. She came along to one of the meetings recently and now she’s stalking me.” You grinned, “And that’s a problem for you? I would’ve thought you’d quite enjoy that, Billy.”

He grinned back, “Are you sayin’ I’m a player or somethin’?” “Well, aren’t you? I’m kinda getting that vibe.” Now he laughed out loud, “Maybe. But I like doin’ the chasing, sweetheart, not the other way round. If she ever got hold-a me, I’d never get outta her clutches.” “What - you wouldn’t? Not much of an ex-Marine then, are you?” He rolled his eyes, “Seriously, this woman’s so clingy she’d attach herself to me like a limpet mine. And I don’t like violence against women so I’d be in a difficult situation. Plus the main thing’s the business link with her daddy. His stuff’s good, I wouldn’t wanna have to replace him as a supplier. So you see, you’re doing me a solid here.” “When you say stalking you, do you mean literally?” “Well, like turning up at Anvil all the time to ‘check on the equipment’ and shit like that.” “So not outside the office then? I’m just thinking along the lines of her not seeing us around together before the event if she’s around you outside business hours. She might not buy it.” “As far as I know, only in office hours.”

“As far as you know? That’s not exactly reassuring if she’s as much of a stalker as you say she is.” He laughed, “No, I’m sure she’s not around apart from that.” “Okay, well is there anything else you can think of that she might ask?” He gave you a sly grin, “If we’ve slept together.” You got up and took your empty cup over to the kitchen sink, “Uh-huh.... well she can ask! We’ll just have to lie, won’t we?” You turned round only to find Billy invading your personal space again, and you moved back slightly in surprise. He followed, crowding you against the counter, dark eyes gazing into yours, “Uh... we don’t have to lie.” You leaned further back, your brain yelling ‘don’t give in to him!’ at you. “Billy... you suggested this whole thing and you also said ‘no strings’, remember? Well, if we did that... that would be strings, don’t you agree?” He reached round you and put his cup in the sink too, “Yeah, I guess so. Just thought we could make things look a little more.... authentic, y’know?” He turned and grabbed his jacket off the back of the stool, but then took you by surprise again by swooping in for a long kiss, pulling you against his body and his big hand sliding around the back of your neck. You pulled away, trying to catch your breath.

Those espresso-coloured eyes were gazing into yours, a lazy grin on his face. “Hey, you’ll need to get less jumpy when I do that else she’s definitely not gonna buy it.” He stood back from you, shrugging into his jacket, “Might need a bit more practice, sweetheart,” he smirked, “....so how about we meet up again tomorrow? We can learn a bit more about each other, as well as you getting more comfortable when I get physical with you,” and wiggled his eyebrows at you. Against your better judgement, you agreed and so he said he’d pick you up at four the next day.

Once he’d gone, you poured yourself a stiff brandy. You couldn’t deny you wanted to spend more time with him, much as you knew you were setting yourself up for a fall. Really... just what the hell did you think you were doing?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy was thinking the very same thing to himself as he drove away. He was enjoying those kisses way too much. But he was the one who’d suggested this whole fake relationship thing, and definitely with ‘no strings’. Because that was the Russo Way.

He’d better get his head back on straight, and stop thinking about the gorgeous woman in the apartment back there as anything other than a way to ditch the very irritating Caroline.

He also got the distinct feeling she’d marked him out as a player and wouldn’t want to get involved with him anyhow. Well, he was a player and he couldn’t deny that. Wasn’t sure he could ever see himself as a one-woman man. Caroline was attractive enough and in the normal way of things, he’d’ve taken her out maybe a couple of times, fucked and then forgotten her. But her father and Billy’s business relationship complicated things somewhat.

So yeah, he’d make sure she saw him with a lovely woman on his arm at the gala, kiss (and maybe fuck if he got lucky) the lovely woman at the end of the night and move right along. Apart from anything else, the fact that she was Karen’s friend complicated things way beyond what he wanted to get involved in, because he couldn’t afford to upset either her or her friend, Frankie’d kill him if he did.

Definitely better stick with the Russo Way. It had never failed him before, had it?

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The next day, Billy glided the car to a stop outside her apartment block at 4 o’clock as promised, dropping her a quick text to announce his arrival. Soon, he saw her figure walking out of the main door and making her way towards him.

Damn! Mmm, she was looking good. Little pink sundress, short denim jacket, bare legs and low wedge pink sandals. Yeah, really cute. Smart and funny too. And sexy, of course. Very sexy. Totally fuckable. Completely and utterly fuckable. Woah - stop that Russo! Right now!

All these thoughts ran through his head in the 10 seconds it took her to reach the car.

He leant over and pushed open the passenger door for her, “Hi sweetheart.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You’d noticed Billy’s eyes running over you as you went up to the car, and then spotted his tongue making a swift trip over his bottom lip as he greeted you. You got the feeling he was looking at you like you were a snack to be consumed. Determined to resist how attracted you felt to him, you hopped into the car and said Hi back. Billy’s big hand landed on your thigh as you fastened your seat belt, his long fingers sliding upwards. Batting them away, you continued clipping yourself in and he laughed, leaning across and pulling you to him, kissing you long and slow. Breaking apart, he said, “Remember we gotta practice, sweetheart,” grinning at you. “Mmmhuh,” you nodded, “I remember you saying that.” “Just relax! Get comfortable with me touchin’ and kissin’ you. We’re boyfriend and girlfriend after all.” “Mmmhuh,” you said again, and once more his hand found its way onto your thigh and began stroking, eventually inching upwards again.

This time, you decided to stay still, thinking that yes, you had better get comfortable with this if this whole stupid fake relationship thing was going to work. But when his hand parted your legs and one long slim finger swiftly made its way inside your panties and - without further warning - actually inside you, you jumped like a startled deer and squirmed away from him. “Billy!” you protested loudly, but he merely smirked victoriously at you and pushed a second finger inside you to join its cousin. You shoved at his resistant arm, “Stop it!” His mouth found yours and he began kissing you as his fingers moved steadily in and out of you then his thumb was on your clit, and he began massaging firmly. “Sssshhh, sweetheart, we’re just messin’ around,” you heard his low voice in your ear, “...this is high school stuff.” “But I didn’t say you could do this to me!” you snarled, trying to ignore how good he was making you feel, and you felt his fingers leave you. He sat back in his car seat, taking a tissue out of his jacket pocket and slowly wiping his fingers, looking across at you all the while with a contemplative look on his face.

“I’m sorry,” he said, but not sounding regretful at all, “I didn’t think you’d mind. Thought it’d loosen you up a bit like we said.” He smirked at you, “You can’t deny I got you wet, and I know you’re attracted to me. Thought you’d enjoy it.” Your mouth dropped open, “You arrogant fucker!” you exclaimed, “You know what, you can take your fake dating shit and shove it where the sun doesn’t fucking shine!” You jumped out of the car, slamming the door with an almighty bang behind you. Stomping back up to your apartment, you opened your front door and slammed it behind you too, angrily throwing your bag onto the sofa as you passed on your way to the kitchen. You took off your jacket and threw it onto a high stool, furious enough to take a bottle of gin out of the cupboard and grab a clean glass from the dishwasher. You were just taking a bottle of tonic water out of the fridge when there was a knock at your door.

Okay, well that was either your annoying across-the-hall neighbour... who complained about anything and everything... here to moan about the door-slamming, or else it was Billy. Whoever was on the other side of the door was going to be greeted by your frowning face, and you really didn’t give a shit which one it was. You dramatically swung open the door, and it was in fact Billy Russo who was confronted by your unhappy visage. He immediately held up his hands in a placatory gesture. “Look, I am really, truly, sorry. I ... can I come in and explain?” You turned on your heel and walked back to the kitchen, leaving him to close the door behind him and follow in your footsteps. “Want a drink?” He nodded, “I’d love a beer if you’ve got one, please.” You took a bottle of beer out of the fridge and handed it to him, then got a bottle top remover for him out of one of your drawers.

He popped off the cap then took a long swig, as he watched you prepare a G&T for yourself. You also took a big sip then leant back against the counter and regarded him with a steely gaze. “You said you wanted to explain.” He took another gulp of beer and began, “I.... look, I’m so sorry okay? I totally misread the situation.” Sipping your gin, you said, “I’ll say you did, Billy! I get the distinct impression you mistook me for one of the easy lays you no doubt pick up in bars. Is that how you treat your one-and-done’s, huh? Well, don’t try that shit with me, okay?” He looked over at you shamefaced and shrugged, “Uhhh...I ..uhh.. yeah, I guess I did.... look, I really am sorry, sweetheart. I can’t apologise enough, and I really didn’t mean to upset you.” You took another big hit of your gin, slightly - but only very slightly - mollified. “And as for your comment that I’m attracted to you...!!!” Momentarily you were speechless, unsure what you wanted to say or how to put it. Mainly because it was the truth, you acknowledged to yourself.

Before you could say anything, Billy held up his hands again, “I’m incredibly embarrassed about saying that. Really crass. And arrogant, as you said.” You noticed that his face had pinked up somewhat. “In fact just forget I said it,” he carried on. “Bit late for that now isn’t it! Did you say it because you’re used to women falling at your feet, Billy?”

He looked down at the beer bottle in his hand, waggling it back and forward before saying, “Yeah. If I’m honest, I don’t usually haveta try too hard.” His eyes met yours, “And if I’m bein’ even more honest, gotta admit I’m attracted to you. Like, really attracted. So, yeah - I was hoping for something more than just going to the charity event with you.”

You drew in a big breath. What? What did he just say to you? No. You mentally shook your head, and then realised you were actually shaking it. “Billy.... you’re a player, that much is blatantly obvious. Would you know what a relationship is if it came up and bit you on the ass? Something tells me you wouldn’t.” He had the grace to look guilty. You continued, “So here’s what we’ll do. If you still need me to come along to the gala, then I’ll do that. And then we’ll go back to being strangers. Okay?”

He twirled his beer bottle between his long fingers, and shrugged, “Okay, sweetheart. M’happy you’re still gonna help me out. But can’t we at least be friends afterwards? Reckon Karen ‘n Frank’re gonna be seeing a lot of each other so we’ll probably keep bumping into each other.” Your face softened into a smile, “Yeah, they like each other don’t they? You’re right, we probably will be spending some time together because of those two. Okay... friends, then.”

He smiled at you, approaching warily and sliding his hand round to the back of your head and up into your hair, pulling you closer. “M’gonna kiss you, s’that okay?” but being Billy, didn’t wait for your reply. His lips met yours in a gentler kiss than earlier, his fingers stroking the back of your neck. He moved his hips against yours, and you knew he’d done this so you’d feel his erection against your body. You moved sideways and pulled away from him, why did he have to make you breathless when you just wanted to be cool, calm and collected around him? He looked a bit crestfallen, but recovered swiftly and asked, “How about we order in some food and just spend some quality time together?” You sighed, “Okay, Billy, let’s do that. But no more groping or anything, okay?” He nodded, looking serious and miming a cross over his heart, “Promise.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You pushed the pizza box away from you, “God, I’m stuffed.” Billy picked up his beer bottle and drank, giving a small delicate burp as he did so, “Me too.” Reaching over, he picked up the remote and began flicking through Netflix, “Whaddya wanna watch next?” he asked. “Mmmm, you pick a movie. But not one about war.” He laughed, “Oh don’t worry, I never watch war films, had enough-a that in real life.” Lying back and letting out a deep breath, you said apologetically, “I bet you did. Sorry.” Shrugging, he also lay back, his head turning towards you, “S’okay. We can talk about it sometime if you like. And about my less-than-perfect childhood. And some of my more recent fuck-ups.” He gave a bitter laugh, “I’m a fuckin’ train wreck, sweetheart - you’ve made the right decision, best you don’t get involved with me.” His eyes looked big and a bit glossy, and before you could help yourself you’d laid your hand on his shoulder, “I’m sure you’re not that bad, Billy.” He turned away from you, looking at the TV before selecting a sci-fi fantasy movie, “Oh believe me, I am,” he said in a low voice.

You shifted a bit closer to him on the sofa, “Don’t be so down on yourself, Billy. You’ve achieved a lot of things... got your own company, fancy car, fine suits, lots of money, prestige.” He grinned at you, “But all that doesn’t matter to you, does it?” You shook your head, “No, but they’re still achievements to be proud of.” His head dropped and some locks of hair fell over his forehead. “Thank you,” he mumbled, and you watched as your hand went of its own accord to his face and stroked the errant hair back off his forehead. His head swivelled towards you, dark eyes gazing into yours; he took hold of your arms and drew you against his chest. “Can we snuggle?” he asked you, then wrapped his arms right around you, before lying down and swinging his long legs up onto the sofa, pulling you with him. You snorted out a laugh, “Snuggle? That doesn’t exactly fit with your ex-soldier or current playboy personas!” “Aw, c’mon sweetheart, gimme a break - I’m tryin’ to be a well-behaved boy here!” You snuggled into his chest a bit, “Okay, but remember - no wandering hands!” He held up both hands, “Not wandering - look!” before placing them chastely on your arm and shoulder.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your eyes opened, and you groggily looked around you, disorientated. Hearing soft little snores from beneath you, you raised your head to look at Billy’s sleeping face. Oh. You’d both obviously dozed off in front of the TV, the Netflix menu now on the screen. Moving slowly, you started to try and stand up but two hands went round your arms in a vice-like grip. “Where you off to?” said Billy’s deep voice. “Just...ummm... just...” you stuttered, but suddenly you were underneath him, his weight pressing you down as his mouth found yours in a hungry kiss. You knew you should resist but damn, he was a good kisser! Feeling yourself dissolve into the kiss, one of your hands moved up to his bristly jawline.

His kisses became more passionate and he pushed himself against you even more, his arousal very evident. You tried to ignore them but your feelings of desire for him were becoming overwhelming, and your arms went round his neck almost unbidden. He was smiling against your lips, and you heard, “Wanna sleep with me? D’you wanna?” Your treacherous mouth said “Yes!” in a breathy whisper, and that was all Billy needed to hear.

He picked you up in his arms, whispering “Where’s your bedroom?” You nodded towards its general direction and he carried you across the apartment and into your room. Setting you down, his fingers were immediately at the zip of your dress, pulling it down, pushing the fabric down then further down until your dress was round your ankles, before whipping it fully off and dropping it onto the floor. You watched him as his eyes roamed all over your body, taking in your lacy lingerie and moving the straps of your bra off your shoulders. “Mmmmm, sweetheart - wow - even better than I imagined,” he said hoarsely, his hands going round your back and unclipping your bra. He stripped it off you and dropped it, both hands immediately cupping your breasts and massaging firmly, thumbs running over your nipples as they peaked. Moving you backwards until your head hit the pillows, you felt his fingers pulling the fabric of your panties aside and suddenly the head of his cock was at your core and pushing inside you. “No time for foreplay, sorry,” you heard and you gave a deep groan when he kept going, feeling his balls brushing your pussy as he fully sheathed himself. His head went back and he gasped, “Fuck!” before he began to thrust. He lifted your legs and draped them over his hips, encouraging you to cross your ankles on his back to pull him even closer.

His mouth was everywhere on you, kissing you deeply one minute before his mouth went to one of your nipples, teasing it with his tongue while his thumb and fingers toyed with the other, then his mouth and teeth were on your neck and shoulders while he set a ferocious pace. A constant stream of low groans were leaving your lips as he moved on you, and you could hear him gasping and muttering words above you, not all of which you could catch, but you did hear “Uhhh, been wantin’ to do this to ya since the minute we met” between thrusts. You ran your hands over his chest and up around his neck, threading your fingers through his lush hair, and you felt him shiver as you pulled on it gently. His thumb was on your clit now, rubbing at you relentlessly and your orgasm washed over you like a wave. His teeth were fastened onto your shoulder and he bit down as you felt his body tense as he came. He lowered himself gently onto you before rolling off, lying on his back and staring up at the ceiling as he got his breath back. “Wow,” he said quietly, before moving onto his side and gazing at you, running a finger gently along your jaw. “Yes, wow,” you replied, putting your hand on his bristly cheek.

“Well, if Caroline does ask if we’ve slept together, now we don’t have to lie,” smirked Billy. This instantly ruined the mood and you sat up, prior to wrapping one of the covers round you and getting out of bed. He looked a bit surprised, but you began moving away from the bed towards the bathroom. Returning a few moments later, you hesitated for a moment before climbing back into bed beside Billy, who was still lying there in all his naked glory. He immediately moved next you, his hands on your arm, “Did I say something wrong earlier? You were up and off like a ballistic missile.” You looked over at him, “A girl doesn’t exactly like to hear another one’s name getting mentioned just seconds after lovemaking.” A guilty look passed over his face, “Awww, shit!... I didn’t think, I’m really sorry... I was just so happy you slept with me, sweetheart.” He stroked your hair away from your face, “Forgive me? And my big clumsy mouth?” You huffed a bit but eventually nodded, not least due to the soft kisses he was peppering over your face and neck.

He breathed a sigh of relief, “I seem to spend all my time apologising to you,” he chuckled, “I’m really making a mess of this fake dating.” “Can’t argue with you there, Billy,” you agreed. “Look, I’m gonna try a lot harder, okay?” he said, running a finger along your arm. You sighed, “Okay... well here’s hoping it’ll be alright on the night.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

The rest of the week, you and Billy had traded phone calls and text messages but (to your secret disappointment) the two of you didn’t meet up. To your mind that could only mean that Billy, who’d admitted to you that he liked the thrill of the chase, had now already caught you so that was it as far as he was concerned. He’d said that his work had been crazy busy but you didn’t feel at all convinced by that.

Friday eventually rolled around, and you were glad you’d decided to take a half day off work to get ready. Karen had strolled up to your desk as you were packing up your stuff before leaving, and you recognised her ‘Serious Talk’ look on her face. She walked along to the elevator with you and followed you inside. “Y’know I hope you really enjoy your evening with Billy tonight, but....” she bit her lip before continuing, “...you know he’s a player, right?” She quickly put her hand on your arm as the elevator reached the ground floor, “I’m not trying to spoil your fun, honestly I’m not, but some of the things Frank’s let slip recently would make your toes curl. Billy’s totally ruthless when it comes to cutting women loose.” The elevator doors opened and you both walked out, with you saying, “Don’t worry Karen, I sussed that out the minute I saw him,” over your shoulder as you continued out into the main lobby. You stopped and turned to her, lowering your voice and continuing, “But I slept with him last weekend and just as expected, he’s avoided meeting up with me all during this week.” Her mouth tightened, and you knew you were in for a Page Lecture. “Gahhh! What were you thinking?! You’ve just reinforced his impression that he can pull any woman he wants and then disappear on her! I can’t believe you didn’t even wait for this gala thing tonight! You could at least have held off till then.”

“Yes, mom,” you sighed, then smiled at her. “But you know what Karen, he’s so hot I just couldn’t resist! And I knew exactly what his reaction would be, and he hasn’t disappointed. He’s been in touch obviously because we’ve got this thing tonight, but he’s been ‘too busy at work’ to meet up. I’m sure that in Russo-speak, that really means ‘too busy chasing tail’ but I’m cool with that. Like I said, it’s what I expected,” shrugging as you said this. “Hmmmm,” replied Karen, staring at you intensely as if trying to read your mind, “...well as long as you know what you’re getting yourself into.” “I do,” you reassured her, hugging her before walking away with a nonchalant wave.

Out on the street you exhaled a big breath. If only you truly believed that.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Billy pulled up outside her apartment block and, as before, texted her to say he was there.

He was disappointed that he hadn’t been able to meet up with her during the week, and was also aware she probably thought he was avoiding her now they’d slept together. But he’d truly been up to his ears in it at work, and he wasn’t yet established enough in the security market to turn down job offers. So he’d taken on probably a few more than he should have done, and both he and Frank had had to weigh in on a couple of them to make sure they were handled correctly.

So apart from calls and texts, he’d had to miss out on seeing her. In fact, all he’d been thinking of the entire week was the prolonged session they’d indulged in last weekend. Once he’d apologised for mentioning Caroline’s name after they’d first made love, (really smart move Russo, he thought to himself) there had been a whole night of energetic and very enjoyable sex. Then a shared shower late the next morning after she’d woken him up with a surprise and very welcome blow job. God, the things she could do with her mouth! He squirmed in his seat, starting to get hard just thinking about it. He couldn’t wait for another one of those, that was for sure. Tonight after the gala if he was lucky!

He saw the main door to her apartment block open and she started walking towards the car. Wish I could get a better idea of how she looked in her dress, he thought. Oh well, I’ll just need to wait till we actually get to the place.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

You slid into Billy’s flashy car, tucking your feet in last in an effort to be elegant. He leaned over, grabbing the back of your neck and kissing you long and hard. You eventually shoved him away, exclaiming “Billy! My lipstick!” You peered at his face, “And you’re covered in it!”

He burst out laughing, “Well, hello sweetheart!”

You handed him a tissue whilst you began trying to repair the smudges around your lips. He dampened it on his tongue and then quickly rubbed the burgundy colour off his mouth. Once you’d fixed your face, you leant over towards him and his mouth headed to yours again but you pulled back. “I’m checking your shirt collar to make sure there’s none on there!” Chuckling, he started up the car, “I did wonder why you waited till you’d put your lipstick back on before kissin’ me again.” “You kissed me!” you protested. He just laughed and manoeuvred the car into the traffic stream.

His head then swung towards you, “If you say so, sweetheart! Hey, I’d say you look beautiful but I can’t get a proper look at you in the car. So wait a little while till we get there and then I can compliment you properly, okay?” You nodded, “Yeah, same. I can’t get a look at you either.” Another chuckle, “You can see as much of me as you want later tonight, sweetheart.” “You’re very sure of yourself, aren’t you?!” Billy’s hand stole onto your thigh and travelled higher. “Wearin’ panties?” You tolerated his wandering fingers, “Yes I am, Marine. Sorry to disappoint.” He shrugged, smirk firmly in place, “Fine by me. They’re not gonna stop me gettin’ to where I wanna be anyhow.” Somewhat surprisingly to you, his hand went back onto the steering wheel. “But I’m gonna wait till we’re alone later. See, sweetheart - I’ve learned my lesson!” “Glad to hear it!” you shot back at him, before looking out of the window at the passing streets.

After arriving and parking at the venue, one of the big downtown hotels, you and Billy made your way upstairs to the function room. Leaving your coats at the cloakroom, Billy twirled you round in front of him, looking you over slowly from top to toe. “You look gorgeous,” he said admiringly, “really beautiful.” “Thank you. Not so bad yourself, Russo.” He was in one of his bespoke suits and was looking edible. He mock-bowed then leant down and kissed you on the lips, and you reminded yourself to act naturally when he did that. You both began walking towards the sound of music and chatter, his hand straying down onto the top of your ass as you went. Karen’s voice rang in your ears about how much of a player he was, and once again you fought the instinct to swat his hand away. If you could just do your duty and get through tonight, then you could put yourself deep into protective mode over this handsome devil.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Several gin & tonics later, you were returning from the ladies’ room and heading back to where you’d left your ‘boyfriend’ at the bar, wondering how much more of this tedious event you could stand, when you heard a high-pitched voice trilling, “Oh Billy! There you are, I’ve been looking everywhere for you!”

Hahah! you thought, this must be the infamous Caroline! Well, at least this next part is going to inject some much-needed fun into the evening.

You could see a small brunette standing in front of Billy with her hands grasping his biceps and beginning to pull him towards her. He spotted you approaching over her shoulder and extricated himself from her clutches saying, “Caroline.... how nice to see you! Just in time for me to introduce you to my girlfriend...” “Girlfriend?!” She whirled round and met your eyes, her own narrowing as she looked you up and down in a flash. You continued walking towards the two of them, noting that she was pretty but was heavily made up; she really didn’t need to plaster it on like she had but - whatever, you thought. Billy moved past her to swiftly put his arm around your waist and draw you to him, introducing you at the same time. She nodded her head briefly at you, “Hi, I’m Caroline. A friend of Billy’s.” She emphasised the word ‘friend’. You beamed back a big smile at her, “Lovely to meet another of his friends,” you said, also emphasising the word. You felt Billy tense up a bit, but you thought that playing the jealous girlfriend might be a good way to go, especially when you noticed the little smirk on her face. You tugged on his arm, “C’mon Billy, you promised me a dance,” you said in a ‘little girl’ voice, which nearly made you heave quite frankly but you felt struck the right note.

Billy raised a hand vaguely towards Caroline as he said to you, “Yes I did, sweetheart. Let’s go. Bye, Caroline - good to see you,” and then gave you a long kiss as the two of you headed to the dance floor. Once Billy had you in his arms, you felt his lips next to your ear and he whispered, “So.... jealous girlfriend, huh?” You nodded, smiling up at him, “She’ll like the fact that I think she’s a threat. But as long as you keep up the PDA’s, I think she’ll buy it.” He immediately kissed you, the hand which had been on your waist surreptitiously sliding downwards at the same time. As you broke apart from the kiss, you caught sight of Caroline glaring at the two of you from a table near the edge of the dance floor. You ran your hand up onto Billy’s jaw before continuing to the back of his neck. You’d discovered during your night together that this was one of Billy’s weak spots, so you trailed your fingers over his skin and had him wrapped round your finger within seconds, just as had happened that other night. He pressed his body close against you, ensuring you felt how aroused he was. “When can we skip out of here?” he breathed to you, making you laugh. “I don’t know! It’s your event - when do you want to stay until?”

Before he could reply, you were aware of a figure next to you and a hand went onto Billy’s arm. “Mind if I cut in?” asked Caroline, giving you a nasty smirk. However it dropped off her face when Billy said hurriedly, “Sorry, Caroline - we’re just leaving,” and began leading you off the dance floor. “Oh, that’s such a shame,” you heard, and realised she was trailing after you and Billy as you left the dance floor. “I was so looking forward to hearing all about how you & Billy met.” You stole a quick glance at Billy before saying over your shoulder, “Through mutual friends.” Still following you both as you headed over to pick up your coats, she rattled out, “it’s just that I’m a bit surprised - it seems quite strange that Billy never mentioned a girlfriend before tonight.” Billy looked irritated but his face became blank as he turned slightly back towards her and replied, “Uh, I am right here y’know!.... well Caroline, we never spoke about our personal lives so it’s not that strange at all to be honest.” You’d reached the small counter by now and had handed over the tickets to the attendant, and while you’d hoped that Billy’s answer would have silenced her, Caroline continued, “So how long have you been dating?” You turned and stared at her, and found her already staring back at you, “Mmm, it’s about two months now, isn’t it Billy?” and moved your eyes to his. He glanced quickly behind him at her, “ Yes, sweetheart - a little over two months actually,” he turned back to you, smiling fondly, “and I gotta say, they’ve been two of the sweetest months of my life.” He leant down and kissed you full on the lips.

Caroline’s lip curled up at this and was still curling as you met her annoyed gaze once Billy’s lips left yours. “Well,” she began, but was then interrupted by a tall older man who came up to the three of you and placed a hand on Caroline’s shoulder. “Hello, Russo,” he said, shaking hands with Billy who greeted him with a “Hi, Mike,” as the older guy’s eyes wandered quizzically over to you. “And who’s this lovely young lady, then?” he asked but before either you or Billy could say anything, Caroline spat out, “His girlfriend, Daddy - imagine that!” However her father merely gave you a friendly grin while Billy introduced you. After a quick handshake, he commented that it was a real shame that you were both leaving before he could buy you a drink. But Billy said firmly, with a mischievous look at you, “Sorry, Mike.... we’re... uhhh... quite anxious to get home.” Mike laughed knowingly while you heard a loud ‘tut’ from his daughter. You smiled brightly at both of them, “Well.... lovely to meet you and hope you enjoy the rest of the evening. Bye!” Taking your coat from the attendant, Billy helped you into it before putting on his own and the two of you said final goodbyes to Mike and Caroline before making your escape.

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

“Thank god that’s over!” you breathed out a sigh of relief as you settled back into your seat, while Billy switched on the car’s powerful engine and it purred into life. “You didn’t enjoy it?” he grinned, “...even with such a charming boyfriend attending to your every need all evening?!” You laughed, “Sorry Billy, no I didn’t. I hated every second of it! But I think we accomplished the mission, don’t you?” Turning your head and watching his profile as he reversed the car out of the parking space, you asked, “D’you want me to get the dress dry-cleaned and you can take it back to the store? I mean I’ve only had it on for a few hours and I managed not to spill anything down it.” He glanced over at you, a strange look in his eyes. “No, I don’t want you to clean it and return it. It’s yours to keep. And yes, we did achieve our goal.” He started driving away from the hotel, and you realised it was the wrong direction for your place. You’d never been to his apartment but had a feeling that’s where you were heading.

“Where are you going, Billy? I just want dropped off at home so I can get out of all of this and relax.” He laughed, and for some reason you thought he sounded a bit pissed off. “Ahh no, that’s not happenin’, sweetheart,” he said, looking across at you, eyes gleaming with something but you weren’t sure exactly what. Determination? Desire? “We’re headin’ to mine. And yeah, you’re gonna be gettin’ out of those clothes, don’t worry.” “Look, Billy,” you said, feeling a bit uneasy for some reason, “...we’re done here, okay? We’ve already slept together, you got what you wanted so now you move on, correct? That’s your usual M.O. isn’t it? You made that obvious this week. Don’t worry, I got the message loud and clear. I’m not some clingy desperate woman that’s gonna keep chasing after you. I knew what the deal was with you the minute I set eyes on you. So.... just turn around and take me home.” You’d been staring at the road ahead but were aware of him shaking his head, “No.” You looked across at him, “No? What, you’re kidnapping me now?” “You can think of it that way if you like, sweetheart. I knew you’d think I was avoidin’ you this week, but I wasn’t. I’m not ready to let you get away just yet. We’re gonna go to mine, and you’re gonna spend the night on your back - and in various other positions - cos I need another night of sex with you.”

“And what if that’s not what I want? What if I don’t want to be used like a fuck toy before you disappear over the horizon? Doesn’t it matter to you what I want?” He chuckled, and you felt a little shiver of fear run through you, “Not right now, no. Because this is all I’ve been thinkin’ about the whole week. And because you’re sayin’ one thing, but you mean another.” “Really?! That’s what you think?” you scoffed, shaking your head, “You’re unbelievable, you know that? The level of arrogance....!” He pulled the car over into the inside lane and then turned into an underground car park. He killed the engine, and in the sudden silence you heard him say in a low voice, “Call it arrogance if you like. I call it knowing what I want and makin’ sure I get it.” He released his seat belt and got out of the car, coming round and opening your door before taking hold of your arm and pulling you out of it. He locked the car with a bleep of the remote on his keychain, then dragged you - firmly but not roughly - over to an elevator which he unlocked with a key before calling it down. Once it arrived, he hustled you inside and once the doors closed, his mouth was instantly on yours. He kissed you roughly, open-mouthed with teeth and lips and tongue all involved. His hands were undoing the buttons on your coat and then were inside it, immediately going to your breasts.

You struggled with him, trying to push him off but he continued kissing you, and you heard his voice telling you to just admit you wanted it. The awful thing was, you did want him and it annoyed the hell out of you. However his current attitude was also annoying the hell out of you so you continued to push at his muscled, toned body to get him off you. But you were no match for the ex-Marine and you heard a ‘ting’ and the elevator doors opening as Billy continued to kiss and grope you. He pushed you firmly out of the lift, keeping hold of your arm and propelling you towards a door - the only door, you noticed - and then into the apartment after he unlocked the door. He slammed it behind him then was on you in a flash, grabbing your bag and throwing it onto the sofa before stripping off your coat and dropping it on the floor. You were aware of being in a large open-plan space with floor-to-ceiling windows and trendy furniture, before you were scooped up as easily as if you were a throw cushion and carried into an equally large bedroom. He kicked the door shut behind him and dumped you rather unceremoniously on the bed, stripping his clothes off in a matter of seconds and letting them fall where they may. Then he was back on you, flipping you over and unzipping your dress in one quick motion. He stripped it down off your shoulders, turned you back over and pulled it off you. You looked up at him, finally finding your voice, “Billy! Stop it.” He shook his head, “Nah, not happenin’ sweetheart. We’re gonna have sex now.” You opened your mouth but nothing would come out. Why couldn’t you say anything else?

Because you do want it, said a sly voice in your head. And whilst the caveman routine might not be the most appealing of Billy’s wooing techniques, he’d excited you beyond belief and you could feel how damp your panties were. You’d told yourself before the evening started that you weren’t going to have sex with him that night, but at the same time had perversely hoped that it would in fact happen. You were absolutely furious with yourself but at the same time, totally conflicted and unable to ignore the desire you felt for him.

You felt his fingers fumbling a bit at your back and then your bra was dramatically whipped off and thrown across the room. His mouth and hands were immediately on your breasts, fingers massaging and toying with one nipple while he licked the other, his tongue roughly raking over its peak and surrounding skin before he started to suck and bite at it, enough to make you squeal but not hard enough to cause you real pain. Then he swapped and your other breast came in for the same treatment. You felt his fingers sliding down your body and pulling at your panties, after a few seconds he then sat up and stripped them off you. They also joined your bra across the other side of the room. He lowered himself onto you, hands parting your legs and you knew he was guiding himself inside you. His hard length pushed into you and you felt the stretch much more than you had the first time you’d had sex with him. Of course he was in a more of a rush this time, seemingly desperate to have sex with you, judging by the way he’d thrown you down, ripped your clothes off and immediately got between your legs.

He slid his hands under your knees and lifted your legs up until your ankles were on his shoulders, deeply thrusting into you as he did so, and you heard yourself give a loud groan. He gave a long, low groan himself as he picked up his pace, and you heard his whispered words next to your ear, “You like that, sweetheart? Feel good?” “Yes!!!!!” you gasped, hating yourself for admitting it but it was the absolute truth. He kissed you passionately, hands running up and down your legs and onto your body as he thrust hard into you, mouth moving to your neck and collarbone, nipping at your skin then licking where he’d lightly bitten you. You climaxed first, Billy’s thumb having found its favourite place on your clit, and you’d dug your nails into his shoulders before running your hands up into his hair and pulling it. Hearing his answering chuckle, his hips cannoned into yours a final few times before you felt him release into you, and he sank down heavily on top of you, panting and trying to get his breath back. He moved off you and laid on his back, seemingly exhausted by his over-eager exertions. His head tilted towards you, “I’m not finished with you yet, sweetheart. Need more.”

You propped yourself up on an elbow, “Just what the fuck is all this neanderthal stuff about, Billy?” He sighed and looked back up at the ceiling. “Remember you said I wouldn’t know what a relationship was if it bit me on the ass?” “Yeah?” “You’re right. I’ve never experienced a loving relationship in my life. I dunno what love is, really.” Then out it all spilled.... his abandonment as a very young kid, the group homes, the abuse, the stigma. How he’d signed up for the Marines as soon as he was old enough, got a business degree before shipping out, how Frank had his back almost from day one. The dark eyes eventually looked into yours, “So just confirmin’ - I’m officially shit at relationships.” You nodded thoughtfully, “Well... now I understand things a little bit better, Billy. You discard women after a very short time as a self-defence measure, because you have a fear of being abandoned again. Ditch them before they can ditch you, right? Because you still have self-esteem issues, deep down underneath that confident exterior. It’s hard to overcome years of being looked down upon and sidelined.” You reached out and ran your fingers through his small patch of chest hair. He flinched slightly so you withdrew your hand, but his own hand went out and he laid it on top of yours for a brief moment.

Then he sat up a bit and stretched, laughing as he did so, “Told you, you’re in the wrong job, sweetheart.” He leaned back onto the pillows, carefully looking away from you, “Guess I didn’t do a very good job of lettin’ you know I want you to stay around and be with me?” You sat up, pulling one of the sheets over you, “What?” you asked. He looked over at you again, “All of this,” his hand waved vaguely between you and him, “This is me tryna let you know I really like you. I honestly missed bein’ with you during the week. An’ I was really busy, me and Frank, all week - I wasn’t tryna avoid you, okay? All I could think about was the night we spent together, how I want that to be a regular thing. Spend time with you.”

You started chuckling to yourself before it bubbled up into real laughter. He’d been looking down and fidgeting with the covers but now his head swung up and his eyebrows pulled into a frown. You calmed down a little and reached out to him, softly stroking his shoulder, “Billy... I’m not really laughing at you. Well, I suppose I am but only because I’m really surprised. That’s not how guys usually let girls know they’re interested! - kidnapping them and telling them that they will have sex with them.” Billy grunted, “Yeah, I realise that. It’s what I’m tryna tell you, sweetheart. I’m shit at this kinda stuff.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Sunday lunchtime, you met up with Karen who was gagging to know what had happened on Friday night. You dutifully recounted everything, even Billy’s metamorphosis into caveman as you left the hotel. Karen’s expression got more and more incredulous and as you drew to a close with his admission of being completely crap at all things relationship-related, she finally said, “Fuck! That’s unbelievable. So how did you leave things? You kick him to the curb?”

You took a sip of your G&T, and smiled back at her, “He wants me to teach him what a real relationship is all about.”

“And you’re prepared to take a chance on him and show him, are you?” You nodded, “Yeah I guess I am, Karen. I know it sounds crazy, but he wants to try. And I’d like to try. So we went from fake to genuine as of Friday night.”

She chuckled, shaking her head and sipping her drink before saying, “Well, you’re a glutton for punishment, I’ll say that for you. And I wish you the best of luck trying to tame that bad boy.” She lifted her glass and you clinked yours against hers, “Thanks, Karen. I’m just gonna take it one day at a time. If it doesn’t work out...” you shrugged, “...at least I gave it a shot.” She put her hand over yours, “Do you think he’ll keep it in his pants? He’s used to putting it about all over town,” squeezing your hand, “...sorry to have to say that honey, but it’s true.” You nodded, “Yeah I know, and all I can say is he’s promised he won’t be doing that from now on. But if I get even a whiff of another woman’s perfume off him, I will be kicking him to the curb faster than he can say ‘it’s not what you think, sweetheart’, believe me! And I’ve told him that too, in no uncertain terms.” She nodded, “Well, you’ve given him fair warning so if he fucks up, that’s definitely on him.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Frank threw his head back, giving a great belly laugh which went on for a lot longer than Billy Russo thought it should do. After a few moments, Frank’s face had gone beet red and tears were squeezing out of the corners of his eyes. Billy folded his arms across his chest, sitting back in the diner booth and scowling at Frank, “Okay, okay, Frankie - enough already,” he grumbled as Frank continued to laugh. Eventually Frank calmed down enough to speak, “Russo! I don’t believe it, I really don’t. Does that girl know what she’s letting herself in for?! She must be missing a few rounds out of her ammo clip.” Billy pulled a face, “Look... I like her, okay? She’s gonna teach me what a proper relationship’s like. She’s willin’ to give me a chance, so cut me some slack over here, will ya?” Frank took a big pull at his beer, “Oh Russo, how the fuck ya gonna keep it in your pants?” (unknowingly parroting Karen’s very same comment to her friend). Billy shrugged, “Look...I will, I tell ya. I mean it, I only want her. The sex is....” he made a chef’s kiss hand gesture, “....and she doesn’t take any of my shit, either. I really like her, Frankie. I think I’m ready to...” “Settle down? Really, Bill - are you? Cos if you fuck this up, you’ve got Karen to deal with as well as your girl.”

Billy took a hit of his beer, “You think I don’t know that? And I’d get a ton of crap from you too, cos Karen’d be upset. You like her, dontcha?” Frank’s cheeks went a slight shade of pink, “Well, yeah. I guess I do.” Now it was Billy’s turn to laugh, “You guess you do? Frankie, you’re like a teenager with a major crush every time your phone rings! ‘Ooh, it’s Karen!’” he said, the last bit in a high-pitched voice. “I do not talk like that!” Frank growled at him, “And you better spend your energy learning how to treat a woman properly, rather than ripping the shit outta me, Russo!”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Your phone dinged and you picked it up, seeing a text notification from Billy on the screen. Turning your phone briefly towards Karen to show her this, you clicked on it and then smiled as you read it. Showing the message to her, she also smiled, “Wow, seems like he’s definitely trying!” You agreed, “I do believe he is!” Maybe this crazy relationship thing you and Billy had agreed to embark on did have a chance of working out after all. You definitely still had your misgivings - does a leopard (or panther) really change its spots? - but you were willing to give it a try as long as Billy stuck to his end of the bargain. No other women, no lying, spending a lot of quality time together... let’s just see how all that goes, you thought. Re-reading the text, it made you smile once more.

Billy’s text said simply, “I’m missing you, sweetheart. Come over to mine, I’ll cook you dinner.”

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

(My photo edit)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

Tags: @blackbirddaredevil23 @galaxyjane @behindmyeyes-insidemyhead @ourloveisforthelovely @swthxrry

(Using D&D’s taglist, if you’d prefer to be removed, just let me know!)

»»————————————-———-　⚜　———————————-————-««

#ben barnes #billy russo #billy russo x reader #billy russo fanfiction #billy russo imagine

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hongism · 3 years

Text

mists of celeste ➻ 39

➻ pairing: ??? x fem reader ➻ genre: space au, pirate au, space pirate!ateez, angst, smut ➻ word count: 11.7k ➻ rating: M ➻ warnings: language, violence, guns and weaponry, blood, future warnings tba ➻ summary: Sneaking aboard the ship of a renowned space pirate may not have been the best idea, but you’ll have to make do with what fate has handed to you

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✧✧✧ act five ➻ part six

You’ve come to the blinding realization that Jeong Yunho is enjoying himself far too much at this very moment. You are standing here preparing to get dragged to high heaven without relent by Hongjoong, and the healer has made himself comfortable in Hongjoong’s chair behind his desk, feet propped up on the corner with a pen dangling from his lips like it’s a piece of candy. It doesn’t help that whenever he stops staring you down, he shifts to look at the man in front of him with sex-laden eyes and you feel positively out of place in this room right now. You are also fairly certain that he’s smirking every time Hongjoong releases a deep sigh, but you can’t focus on that too much when Hongjoong is dragging this whole process out the way he is. If he would just get on with this inevitable lecture so you don’t lose any further shreds of dignity, that would be much preferred.

As though sensing the gaze on the back of his head, Hongjoong turns in his place to glare back at Yunho.

“Can you stop eye-fucking me for two seconds?”

“Not my fault you’re hot when seething with rage.” Yunho’s quip is thrown hastily back, bringing a huff from Hongjoong’s lips as he shakes his head.

“Knock it off before I kick you out.”

“Cute,” Yunho singsongs back, and he lets a smile stretch around the body of the pen between his teeth. “I’d like to see you try.”

“Now is not the time, Yunho.”

“I hardly mind an audience!”

“You won’t be allowed to go on the recovery mission for Mingi,” the captain starts at last, pointedly ignoring Yunho’s last comment as he redirects his focus to where you stand. Yunho pokes his tongue out alongside the pen, glancing between you and Hongjoong, but you only give him your attention for that brief moment. “I highly doubt I need to even begin to explain why this is my decision, but it would be best for you to hear it directly from me. Your actions last night, to put it mildly, were both irrational and childish. You reacted poorly to an already tense situation and not only put yourself at risk, but the safety of the crew at risk as well. What would have happened if you had killed Jisung last night? We would not have had the location of San and thus had no way of knowing where he is being held. You were reckless on all accounts, refusing to listen to both your captain and your lieutenant, who called out to you multiple times while you were talking with Jisung but you seemed unable to hear him in the slightest.”

All you can do is press your lips together and chew at the inside of your cheek. Hongjoong is not wrong, of course, and you would be the first to admit that your outburst last night was more than just a lapse in judgment. As for Seonghwa trying to get you to stop, you truly have no recollection of that, so if he did attempt that you were unable to hear it. There’s no telling how long Hongjoong was lingering at the edge of the room either or if he called you off at all, but those are just unnecessary details at this point.

“Trying to do things on your own out of a purely emotional reaction does nothing for the crew as a whole. Thus, there is no way in hell I would ever let you go on this mission. Allowing you to go would teach you nothing; it would simply tell you that you can get away with shit like that. And I’m telling you now that you cannot and will not under my command.” Hongjoong brings his arms up to cross over his chest. He shifts his weight from one foot to the other, still leaned up against the front of his desk as before, and though his tone reads anger, you can’t find any in his posture. Yunho’s still teasing that pen between his teeth. “Yeosang and Jongho will accompany Jisung to recover Mingi according to the agreement you struck up with Jisung. Whereas you, Y/N, will remain on the bridge being monitored since you cannot seem to act like an adult on your own.”

The not-so-subtle dig should burn your pride, but this is humiliating enough to have you already in the lowest depths of your dignity.

“Along with that, we have come up with a failsafe for if Jisung acts up. If he decides to get rowdy and misbehave himself, then you will be strapped to a chair and punished for each of his missteps. That’s… not a conclusion we came to lightly and it’s not one we wish to enact as you are a member of the crew, but we are not sure how else to keep Han in line.”

“Tch, do your worst,” you scoff. You nearly mirror his stance and cross your arms over your chest, but you think twice when you see the quirk of his brow at your tone. You have pushed your luck enough in the past twenty-four hours, so perhaps you need to hold back just a tad until Hongjoong is less… on edge with you. “I was ready to kill myself last night to stop him. What more can you do to me now?”

Now, it’s Hongjoong’s turn to scoff, and the huff of air that follows is so sharp it sounds like a whistle. He pushes off the desk in the same movement, arms falling down to his sides, and with each following word, he takes a step closer to where you stand.

“You think you can afford to be reckless and risk your life over someone as insignificant and pathetic as Han Jisung?”

He’s close enough to jab a finger into your sternum now, knocking hard against the bone just beneath your collarbone. His height disadvantage from last night is gone as well; he must have had time to make himself presentable before calling you up to be drawn and quartered (seemingly for Yunho’s amusement because he’s just having the absolute time of his life over there).

“Do you have every right to act that way with him? Perhaps you do, but you will not, under any circumstances, threaten your own life to prove a point under my command.” Hongjoong presses closer, enough to hiss his next words against the shell of your ear and leaving you to stare past his shoulder directly at Yunho. “I need you alive. When you agreed to be part of my crew, you trusted me with your life. And as such, I will not allow you to throw your own life around so foolishly. Understood?” The distance between you increases as he leans back. You expect more words from him but all he does is arch a brow and stare at you with inquiry to his gaze.

“Yes, Hongjoong,” you murmur before going back to chewing at your lower lip. Hongjoong catches your chin with his index finger a moment later though, forcing you to look back at him.

“Do not mistake my kindness last night for mercy, Y/N. I am your captain still and you will regard me as such.”

“Yes, Captain,” you grit out, teeth pressed so tight that your jaw hurts as you speak. Hongjoong laughs — whether it’s at your expression or the way you force the words out is unbeknownst to you, but he steps back to give you more space after you respond. Yunho hums from his place at Hongjoong’s desk. He slips the pen out to point the tip in your direction, a cruel smile pulling the corners of his lips up.

“It seems you were right after all, Captain,” he singsongs. “Here I thought you wouldn’t be able to keep her in line.” Hongjoong rolls his eyes a bit at that but does nothing more than sending a half-hearted glare back at Yunho over his shoulder.

“What’s going on?” You ask as you watch their brief interaction with a narrowed gaze of your own.

“Hm, nothing, nothing. Now, the real reason I don’t want you going on the mission to retrieve Mingi is that you will be going on the team to recover San.”

“The what?” You echo, brows rising at the mention of San. Hongjoong continues as though you didn’t interrupt, not pausing to answer your question.

“I don’t want to run the crew too thin as it is, but it’s best to send more people with Jisung in the off chance he does decide to misbehave. Once that team returns, you will be dispatched with Wooyoung to recover San.” Hongjoong pauses to smile a little. “That works out best for you, does it not?”

Frankly, Hongjoong has no reason to send you on the recovery mission for San. If he were truly punishing you, he wouldn’t even let you dream of it. So why?

“Why would you let me go on that mission knowing it’s what I want? Wouldn’t a true punishment be to not send me on that mission?” You inquire against better judgment. Hongjoong shoves his hands into his pockets and tilts his chin to the ceiling.

“The punishment,” he starts in a slow, drawling tone, “is refusing to send you on the mission you tried to plan yourself without my approval. And given how eager you are to both protect San and bring him back unharmed, I know that I can trust you to do that. Initially, I was going to send you alone on this mission but Seonghwa suggested sending Wooyoung along too.”

Even with Seonghwa locked up, they still work together on plans and missions. Despite fighting just yesterday as well. You purse your lips as you listen to Hongjoong talk, moreso because of the mention of Wooyoung and Seonghwa’s suggestion that he come along. Seonghwa knows of Wooyoung’s identity, as well as yours, and those facts combined leave you more baffled than anything else. Why the hell would Seonghwa suggest sending two Sirens off on a dangerous mission like this one?

Hongjoong pulls a hand out of his pocket to tap at his chin.

“Today will be a busy day for all of us, but it should be the last busy day for quite some time. If Jisung complies and everything goes according to plan, that is. Yeosang and Jongho will be leaving to accompany Jisung for Mingi’s retrieval in forty-five minutes. They are slated to return late afternoon. Should the mission go off without a hitch, you and Wooyoung will depart shortly after they get back. I will fill you both in on further details later when you are both present. I hesitate to interrupt whatever Yeosang and Wooyoung may be doing at present.” Yunho snorts at that comment, covering the sound with the back of his hand. “After today, you all will be able to have some time to rest and recover before we move forward. We won’t be leaving the planet immediately though. Seonghwa and I are to depart for a short mission of our own tomorrow.”

He doesn’t add any more detail to that bit of information. You can read the context clues and the shift in mood well enough though, and think you have a good grasp of what that mission might be. Subconsciously, your gaze flits over to Yunho again, but his expression is flat and unreadable, leaving nothing for you to pick up on. Hongjoong offers a strained smile that doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Even though you had many missteps last night, your conversation with Seonghwa was, for the most part, not one of them. You did well and kept your promise to leave the decision in his hands in that regard. Your errors were only in what followed that conversation. It’s not easy for someone in your position to show such empathy, yet you managed to do so anyway. Given what Seonghwa and I talked about after you were dismissed, you… you managed to make him feel a bit more human and helped him recognize that his feelings are not obsolete. So, I thank you for that much. I won’t lecture you any further for now, but I do still have many qualms with how you handled Jisung’s taunting and how that behavior affected Seonghwa in turn. I’m in a decent enough mood to not lecture you about that right now. You have earned a sliver of my trust. Work hard to get my respect next.”

You arch a brow, fighting to hold back the scoff that threatens to spill forth.

“What makes you think I want your respect to begin with?”

Hongjoong matches your expression with a fire of his own, and some light returns to his grin.

“Arrogance.”

///

The cool metal floor of the bridge burns your knees even through the thick material of your pants. You’re trying your best not to let it affect you, but the combination of the freezing cold along with Hongjoong’s unending glare on your back is nothing pleasant. You can’t see his glare head-on, which could either be viewed as a good thing or a bad one depending on your perspective. Right now, however, you find it to be unsettling: the way you kneel in front of the observation window that still overlooks a mostly empty hangar bay with Hongjoong seated in his captain’s chair behind you. It would be entirely less frightening if not for the way Hongjoong is twirling a knife in one hand and humming under his breath, just faint enough for you to overhear although you don’t recognize the tune. With one leg crossed over the other and his chin propped up on his free hand, his position only exudes power. That’s very much a power you can feel all too well in this moment, knowing exactly what the intents and purposes of that knife are.

The captain is communicating with Yeosang through the comms system, and in turn, he’s keeping tabs on Jisung’s behavior throughout their mission. You’re banking on Jisung not acting out of line so you can preferably preserve yourself from further bodily harm, but the threat looms past your shoulder nonetheless. Jongho went along with the pair, another hopeful guarantee of Mingi’s safety, yet you were not even allowed to watch them leave thanks to your behavior last night.

The silence hanging between the two of you is deafening, and your thoughts won’t settle for more than a few seconds, so you’re the one to break the silence once it starts to drag.

“Could I ask you something about tomorrow?”

“Go ahead.”

“If Seonghwa were to regret his decision, what would you do?”

It might be a bit of a loaded question, one that he could very well refuse to answer, and his sharp inhale of breath makes you believe he might just do that. Then, a few breaths later, he speaks.

“There isn’t much I could do,” he admits. “Though I would do anything and everything in my power to ease the burden on his shoulders in that case. And you? What would you do if you reach San too late? If he’s already had the serum injected?”

“Do you truly believe he has?” You inquire back, and despite your attempts to sound firm and resolute, you come across more afraid than anything else.

“I know San’s resilience well enough to believe he would never do that, but that wasn’t the question. No matter how slim the chances of failure are, you must be prepared for any possible outcome.”

“Failure?” You retort, bristling a bit where you are seated. You cast a look over at Hongjoong through the reflection, moreso just to glare at him, but you don’t think he can see you looking. “Recovering San would never be a failure. The only failure on this mission would be not being able to retrieve him.” Despite those claims, you can’t shake the thoughts of San forgetting you in your dreams the previous night. You thought the worst pain imaginable would be finding him dead, but him forgetting you before you get the change to — no, it’s not good to dwell on those concerns now.

“Does that mean then that recovering him even at the cost of his memories is still a success to you?”

“The only failure would be not rescuing him,” you reiterate, pushing your tone a bit so it echoes through the bridge. Hongjoong huffs out a laugh. “During my time in the military, I was taught to accept any possibility on a mission. Even if it’s not what I want, I have to accept that a San who is alive and well but cannot remember me is better than one who is broken, gone, or worse.”

You dare to glance over your shoulder to catch a glimpse of Hongjoong’s face. He’s smiling a little, just enough to cast the shadow of a grin over his lips.

“You never would have passed for an Elitist, you know?”

“Is that supposed to be a criticism?”

“You are choosing the most logical option, yet your reasoning for doing so is purely emotional. Yeosang would have offered no explanation.”

“And yet he cried every night Wooyoung was gone.”

“Of course he did, Y/N. That’s not the point I’m trying to make,” Hongjoong states. He lifts a brow at you. “The key issue most people have when pretending to be Elitists is that they try to erase all signs of emotion. Elitists still have emotions and feel them as strongly as the rest of us. They merely ignore those emotions often in favor of more reasonable and logical outcomes. Yeosang could have cried every night for months straight, but if I had offered an illogical plan to recover Wooyoung, he would not have taken it.”

“I don’t believe that,” you counter, grumbling the words under your breath before turning back to the observation window.

“Did I hear my name? Are you guys gossiping about me without me?”

“Ah, there you are.”

You glance back immediately at the sound of the newcomer, catching the broad grin on Hongjoong’s lips as he too stands to greet Wooyoung.

“What took so long?”

“Yunho did my hair!” The man reaches behind his head and pulls back the top half of his hair as he matches Hongjoong’s smile with his own toothy one. The whole underside is a blinding blond, top half left black and hanging loose around his face. “Looks hot, doesn’t it?” Hongjoong releases what sounds like a snort then swipes a hand at Wooyoung’s. The movement sends a surge of panic through you for a second, not because you think Hongjoong would truly hit Wooyoung, but because of how the younger might react to the hasty swipe. He crushes that fear in an instant, laughing loud and clear as Hongjoong lands his palm on the other’s head and ruffles his newly dyed hair until it’s a mess atop his head.

“Ask Yeosang when he gets back. Did you make time to visit Seonghwa too?”

Wooyoung’s smile wavers some at that.

“I did, yeah.” Wooyoung glances down. Even with the odd angle, you can see the conflict in his features and the way his brows strain to keep from slipping further together. Hongjoong must see it too because he’s next to speak.

“…And?”

“It’s hard seeing him in that position,” Wooyoung says under his breath. “I’m not… not used to it and I hate every ounce of it. I don’t like seeing Seonghwa weak, and even though I know he’s not, it still feels like he is seeing him that way. Brings out old feelings I’d rather not revisit honestly.” Hongjoong brings a hand up to run through his fading blue tresses to hide the way his fingers tremble.

“I’m assuming Han wasn’t present when you went down there?”

“I went before they left this morning. With, um, with Yeosang, but Han seemed to be asleep the entire time. Didn’t move or look at us at least. We — we didn’t talk about anything important either.” Wooyoung’s gaze flits over to where you’re standing. You incline your chin a bit but stay mum, knowing the implication behind his words. They didn’t discuss anything related to Sirens, that is, which is mildly encouraging for you if that means anything at all. “Yunho was gonna head down there when we finished my hair too.”

If that surprises Hongjoong, the captain doesn’t let it show. It shocks you some, on the other hand, given that you’ve witnessed them fight and argue more than they’ve been civil in your time on the crew. Commenting on that won’t do you any good so you stay quiet, eyeing Hongjoong’s demeanor out the corner of your eye while he continues to speak to Wooyoung.

“Anyway, that’s not important right now. The mission?”

“Right, the mission,” Hongjoong mutters even though his mind seems to be elsewhere. He lifts a hand and beckons you closer, and you move to stand alongside Wooyoung near his chair. “Han disclosed the location of the military complex where San is being held. It’s further up in the Upper Echelon than the brother was but also more highly guarded.” Hongjoong pauses to spare a glance in Wooyoung’s direction. “Are you sure you want to come on this mission? I won’t force you if you don’t feel ready.”

At first, all Wooyoung manages is a thick swallow.

“I… I-I want to be ready,” he stutters after a moment of deliberation. “I want — I don’t want what happened to me to affect the well-being of the crew.”

“I can easily go in your place, Woo. I don’t mind if you don’t feel comf—”

“No,” Wooyoung interjects, shaking his head all the while, and Hongjoong actually falls quiet at the interruption. “No, then what? What’s your plan? You want to leave Seonghwa stuck in a cell with Yunho, who can’t fucking kill anyone, as his sole protector while some psychopath mills about the ship as he pleases?”

“Yeosang and Jongho will be back with Mingi by then. We have a plan for Jisung as well, to keep him somewhere out of Seonghwa’s vicinity and within reach. It will have to do temporarily, and besides, Yunho can step up when he needs to.”

“He can’t hold a gun without throwing up; what makes you think he has the balls to kill someone?”

“I — we’re working on that still, admittedly, but he’s getting better.”

“Hongjoong, I’m fine. I talked to Yunho yesterday and ran through the whole screening with him. He didn’t see an issue with me so I’m clear to go on a mission, and I am okay with going on a mission. I’ll be with Y/N the whole time, right? That should be enough! I know how to fight and defend myself. Whatever happened in that brothel shouldn’t bother me.” Wooyoung, if nothing else, is quite adamant, leaving forward into Hongjoong’s space a bit to clutch at his forearm. Hongjoong merely blinks down at the offending hand but does nothing to remove his touch before offering a hesitant nod.

“Okay, I trust you.”

“Are you worried about San?” Wooyoung inquires. His teeth sink into his lower lip moments later. If he aims to probe deeper into Hongjoong’s feelings, the captain does well to not let anything slip through his countenance.

“I worry for all of the crew. San is no different.”

“San is a bit of a special case though, isn’t he?”

Now that’s a first for you. The first you’ve heard such a thing be said about San, that is. You have known since the mission in Echidna that Hongjoong values and cares for San quite a bit. To this extent, however? You’ve not heard anything memorable. Hongjoong and Wooyoung share an unspoken conversation with just that ounce of information, and you are left to your bewilderment. Whatever it is they’re talking about, you have no idea. There’s no time to ask either because Hongjoong clears his throat and dismisses the topic as quickly as Wooyoung brought it up.

“I’ll put the coordinates of the warehouses in Channel 7, so tune over to that channel and sync your wristbands and earpieces. It will just be the three of us and Yeosang listening in this time. As soon as the others get back, Yeosang will bring Jisung to the bridge. I don’t want him with Seonghwa anymore, but we still need to keep him on lockdown for now. Jongho will take Mingi to Yunho and help look after him while you two are away. Yeosang asked to be connected for your sake.”

“Of course he did,” Wooyoung huffs. The roll of his eyes is nothing but affectionate, present but a faux annoyance.

“It’s just for precaution though; you won’t have any backup in there. Once you two are on the ground, you’re on your own.” The discomfort Wooyoung exhibits is minimal and hard to catch. It’s there, however, a shift from foot to foot and a glance over at the wall like something is about to jump out at him. Hongjoong pushes closer and drops his hands atop the younger’s shoulders. “I… hesitate to say this because I do not wish to take this choice away from you, but I think it is in everyone’s best interest to keep you off this mission.”

“No, no, I’m okay. I’m fine! I can go on the mission, Joong, I want to go on the mission,” Wooyoung rambles, head shaking frantically from side to side. “I’m strong enough, I can fight, I can r-recover San. With Y/N. We can recover San.”

“You don’t need to convince me of that, Wooyoung.” Hongjoong’s lips fold down. “I also don’t need you to go on this mission to prove that. I already know those things of you regardless.”

“I just… I w-want to be okay enough to go on the mission because everyone else is,” Wooyoung mutters loud enough for both you and Hongjoong to hear. “Everyone else is okay. I don’t want anyone to — to worry about whether I’m okay or not.”

“Wooyoung…” To your surprise, Hongjoong huffs out a laugh and cracks a strained smile. “My lieutenant has locked himself in the brig, my strategist has been tearing his hair out for days on end and I think I found a bald spot on the back of his head the other day because he’s been so stressed over recovering you, my bruiser is quieter and broods more than ever, and our dear ghost here is dealing with seeing an old teammate who manipulated her memories and kidnapped three members of the crew. I have not slept more than three hours in the past two days, and no more than twelve in the past week. The only person who is even mildly okay right now is Yunho, but that’s only because he is in denial about how much this is weighing on him and using physical pleasures as a way of coping with the stress. You don’t need to be okay because no one else is either. Not right now at least. It would taste a lie to pretend like anything about this situation is something you should be okay with. Once San and Mingi are both back and safe, and once Han Jisung is properly taken care of, then we’ll be able to rest and recover.”

“I — o-okay.” Wooyoung’s shoulders fall forward as he relents, but he doesn’t put up more of a fight. “Does Yeosang really have a bald spot though? I mean, I yanked his hair pretty hard last night because I got a bit carried away and saw something on the back of his head but I thought I was just seeing things. Is it actually there? Maybe I should be more gentle with his poor head then.”

“You — Wooyoung, I-I am not — this is hardly important!”

“Excuse you, my lover’s hair growth is extremely important!”

“He has a fucking bald spot, I already told you that much. Now, enough out of you, and get some legitimate rest while you can. Or if you’re feeling restless, you can see if Yunho needs help with anything in the medbay.”

“Yes, Captain.” Wooyoung bows his head a tad before sending a half-hearted wave in your direction. You return the gesture with a smile, watching him turn on his heel and exit the bridge the way he came. His shoulders are pushed back a bit more this time, there’s some confidence to his steps that he didn’t have when he came, and you can practically feel the relief that oozes off his body even when he’s out of sight.

“So that leaves just us then?” You ask once you tear your gaze away from the archway.

“We’ll keep Yeosang on the line since Seonghwa will still be unavailable. Nothing else about the plan will need to change.” Hongjoong turns back to sit in his chair once more, but you stay put, watching his movements out the corner of your eye.

“You mentioned going back out into the city tomorrow. When do you plan to leave for that?”

“If everything goes well today then… hm, we’ll probably leave the planet around three days from now? Just in case Yunho needs other supplies that we don’t have readily available here on the ship.”

“So there will be one last day here before we all leave? Where we should all be on the ship, I mean?” Teeth sink into your lower lip after you pose the question. Hongjoong’s gaze turns analytic and searching, but you offer no more information as it is.

“Yes…” He affirms after several seconds of hesitation. “Why is it you’re so curious?”

“Something has been bothering me since recovering Wooyoung from the brothel.”

“Enlighten me.”

In all honesty, you weren’t expecting to even get this far with the conversation. Part of you thought Hongjoong would shut you down before you got a chance to explain yourself, and all the thoughts you had of bringing this up to him were fleeting and momentary. The lack of prior planning makes you stop in your tracks and stutter over air.

“I – in, um, while Jongho and I were waiting for Yeosang to go through, I c-came across a girl who used to be on my team. Back in the military, I mean. She was a worker there and apparently has been since my team defected. It’s… I understand that I’m not in any position to ask for things, and she didn’t ask me to help her in any way, but I can’t help but to want to get her out of there. Seeing what Wooyoung suffered in there wasn’t pleasant, and I can’t rest easy thinking of her suffering the same way.”

Sure you promised Soojin that you would help her find leads on Ash and Juyeon without saying you would help her get out, but her only reason for not wanting freedom was the lack of a place to go. “I don’t have anything left out there beyond the House.” If you could do anything to convince Hongjoong to take her in, even just for a short period of time to get her back on her feet, that would be more than ideal.

“You can’t rest easy? Then forget about her.”

“I — what?” You should not have let yourself have an ounce of hope, it seems.

“Put her out of your mind and forget about her if you do not wish to imagine her suffering.”

“Hongj— Captain, I can hardly—”

“Y/N, your former teammates seem to have a streak of being less than kind. Don’t forget how you acted in your first few days on the ship. How can I trust someone I don’t even know to not do the same? And all things considered, I cannot trust your memory to recall the truth.” Hongjoong lifts his brows as he speaks. There is no anger in his features or in his tone; moreso a sense of finality that offers the smallest window for you to argue back on the matter. You take the chance nonetheless.

“She can vouch for herself seeing as she helped us escape. You can ask Jongho and Wooyoung as well, they witnessed it as well as how she helped me. Jisung tried to kill her the night of the mission — he sent an assassin to dispatch her before she could see me simply because he knew we would come across each other. And she told me part of what truly happened the night I killed the king, and I believe what she said.” You pause to inhale a deep breath of air, lungs straining from the sheer amount of air you are trying to force into them. “Captain, I am not looking for you to drop everything for her. The last two living teammates of my team left with her, but she was alone with no knowledge of where they are or if they are even alive.”

“Why waste time thinking of the dead?”

“Why forget about them when there is even the slightest chance they’re alive?” You counter. You don’t intend to sound so inflamed about the topic, but the heat resides in your tone and burns the tense air hanging between you and the captain. His jaw shifts. “I would be content even if you could only promise that I have a way to deliver information about them back to her if possible. I know you have contacts here on Dorado.”

“And I suppose you’ve come up with an entire escape plan as well?”

“I — no, I hadn’t thought of that. To be honest, I’m not even sure she wants to be saved, but that could only be because she doesn’t see a way out.”

“You have a knack for wanting to save people who don’t want to be saved. You and Seonghwa are similar in that matter, but there comes a time where you must realize you can’t be everyone’s savior.”

“What do you mean by that?”

One corner of Hongjoong’s lips quirks upwards, and he arches a brow to match the movement.

“Is it really that hard to figure out? The pardon papers, to begin with, the whole reason you even met the crew. Did you think I had no clue of what your intentions were on that military ship? Especially when my intentions were the same? Imagine my surprise when I arrived in the captain’s cabin to learn you had taken them already.”

“Why did you hold off on that information all this time?” You had been convinced at the time that it was for no other reason than to cause a bit of chaos and steal some cargo. But to find out that Hongjoong had the same goal? What’s his play here?

“I no longer need those papers so it would have been futile to mention them before now. They were meant to be a bargaining chip for the client I met on Echidna, but seeing as he is dead and gone… hardly important, no? But that’s beside the point — your intentions are what we’re discussing. Who were those papers meant for? Had they been for you, you wouldn’t still be lingering around the crew like this, would you? I think you imagined you would be able to save Jisung in some way with them.”

“Hardly!” You sneer back, clutching blindly at your chest as though to find the spot where you used to hide those papers. They aren’t there anymore, you know that, and yet you still ball a fist around the fabric over your chest. “They were never meant for him, but I didn’t imagine this was the kind of person he would turn out to be!”

“Then they were meant for this girl you came across? One of the other two who are missing? Or perhaps was it another, who is no longer present? What is it you think death really is, Y/N? Why do you keep clinging to someone who is no longer alive? What good does pardoning him do?”

You have no response or defense. Nothing you say will appease Hongjoong; you believe that with every fiber of your being, and the way he is staring you down currently offers no relief.

“You see, Y/N,” Hongjoong starts as he pushes up off his seat. He stays up on the platform with his chair, looming over you with the height of the stairs to his advantage, and now there’s a special glint to his gaze that leaves you transfixed. “Your issue that when it comes time to make a difficult decision, when push comes to shove, you turn tail and run. If I had given you a single key last night and told you that you had the power to release one person in the brig, who would you have chosen?”

“Seonghwa.”

“Who would you have chosen?” Hongjoong persists, stepping further into your space.

“What are you trying to get at? I gave my answer already. It would be Seonghwa, and that’s that.”

“And if it had been before the conversation we shared before you went into the brig?”

“It never would have been Jisung,” you snap back.

“All he had to say was ‘I’ll take you to San’ and you would have released him without a second thought.”

Fuck.

Fuck. You have to clench your jaw to keep from exhaling your frustration, but it only highlights your annoyance.

“You’re saying you wouldn’t?”

“No, I wouldn’t, because I know he would have given up that information eventually, Y/N.” Hongjoong’s gaze is anything but smug and gloating — if anything he’s regarding you with no emotion at all. It’s still enough to cause you to drop your chin to your chin and huff out a mirthless laugh.

“Is this the part where you say caring is weakness?”

“No, I would be quite the hypocrite if I said that. I’m telling you that you have to accept the fact that there are people who cannot be saved. Whether that’s because they do not wish to be saved or because it is impossible to save them. Let yourself care about people; that’ll keep you alive. But caring too much? There’s your weakness.”

“That’s bold of you to say, is it not? Where’s the line then, Captain? When it becomes love?”

“Love? Love is a concept made by weak people for those with even weaker wills.”

And when Hongjoong breathes those words, you almost believe them. Face value, meaningless terms such as love — what good have they ever done you? You and Seonghwa never loved each other, not truly at least because otherwise, things wouldn’t have fallen apart the way they did. Your memories tell you that Jisung loved you in some sense at one point but what did that do? Cause him to have a psychotic break? Cause you to ruin the only good you had in your life?

You hate the image that comes to the forefront of your mind. The memory that accompanies it is almost more painful.

“But I just feel like I’m broken glass that’s been put back together the wrong way.”

“Then I’ll take you apart and put you back together the right way.”

You clench a fist by your side, squeezing the skin around your knuckles in a way that has your nail digging into it. It does nothing to will away the dimpled smile in your mind, nor does it make your breathing come any easier, but Hongjoong continues on and offers enough distraction for you to ground yourself.

“Depending on how today and tomorrow go, I will consider our options and what’s possible for your friend. But I will not risk the safety of my crew again.”

“What happens once San and Mingi are back?” You inquire, head tilting naturally to the side. “Do you plan to kill Jisung and be done with it or…?”

Hongjoong’s initial response is a firm shake of his head.

“We’re already weak and spread thin as it is. I can’t risk endangering the crew further by starting a war between Jisung’s crew and ours.”

“Jisung won’t just leave if you ask him to.”

Hongjoong’s gaze flits over to the side, a hasty and clever avoidance of your stare as he finds purchase on some dent in the wall.

“Yunho and I did some talking last night… about the serum and how it works.”

“Is that your definition of pillow talk?” You scoff. Hongjoong jerks his head back in your direction and settles a sharp glare on you that holds little actual anger to it.

“Jisung knows a lot about it and how it works. Yunho hopes to be able to get some information out of him once he’s back with the others. We still have leftover vials from the Kebos mission. If you wanted, we could administer a dose on Jisung and make him forget all about you.”

“If I wanted,” you echo, pointing a finger at yourself as you emphasize the word.

“If you wish for the choice to be in my hands, then I can be cruel for you. But just as with Seonghwa and his mother, as well as Mingi and his choice to not use the serum, this is something personal. The choice is yours to make as he is your past and not mine.”

“I’ll consider it,” you whisper. The weight of that choice is undeniable even if tempting because of how glorious a revenge it would be to do the same thing he did to you back to him. Just doing it back to him won’t fix what Jisung did to you, however, nor will it bring Hyunwoo back from that empty grave. “You sure are giving me a lot of choices for someone who is supposedly upset at me.”

“Hm, well, you are also not allowed to go back to the brig unsupervised from now on. Does that work for you? Ample punishment?”

“Nevermind, I shouldn’t have asked.”

“Punishment is never effective for people like you, Y/N,” Hongjoong retorts. “It doesn’t encourage you to do better because you do not care about having to go through some sort of punishment. Keeping you from going to get san would only make you more likely to go against my orders. You are someone who needs different consequences for your actions. You don’t like being held back or feeling small and powerless? I strip you of what power you imagine yourself to have and hold you back from minute things like going to the brig alone.”

“That’s not true,” you scoff, arms coming up to cross over your chest at the same time.

“Oh? And what if I told you right now that I was disappointed in your actions last night? That I thought I could trust you to not make rash decisions, to think with your head and not your heart? I told you earlier that I still have qualms about how you handled Jisung and what effect that had on Seonghwa. Whatever respect I had for you before then was lost in that moment. You may have a sliver of my trust, but respect? You lack that entirely.”

“Don’t say meaningless things, Captain, it doesn’t suit you.” You bite the words out between gritted teeth. If anything, your show of anger only amuses Hongjoong further. “That means nothing to me, as I said before. Why should I care about your respect?”

“Do you truly mean that, Y/N? People like you thrive off the approval of others. Is that not why you let yourself be entangled with Seonghwa for so long? I wouldn’t expect those feelings of respect to linger if I were you.”

“Do you simply thrive on taunting me?” The counter betrays how stupidly affected you truly are by his statements and questions. And deep down, sure, you know he is absolutely correct in saying all that, and you blatantly ignored a lot of things in favor of latching onto the respect and care Seonghwa provided, but for someone as arrogant as Hongjoong to point it out? You hardly want to agree with him now.

“Follow me.”

You could stand your ground and deny the captain, put on a little tantrum and show your denial, but in the long run, that would only prove Hongjoong right. So, against what you truly want to do, you push your legs into action and trail after Hongjoong when he begins to step away from his chair. Admittedly, you are waiting for the hammer to drop: perhaps he’s bringing you to an airlock and finally knocking you out of it. Nothing happens though, and you are left to glare at the clacking heels of his boots as he leads you further down into the ship. It isn’t until you reach your destination that you realize exactly where Hongjoong has taken you.

It’s a rich form of torture from him, to take you to the brig as though to taunt you with your regrets from last night. He doesn’t even bat an eye as he lifts the hatch and motions for you to enter. At the very least, Jisung’s cell is empty (as expected) and he cannot add to the mockery of your pride and dignity.

The moment your boots hit the floor, the rattling of Seonghwa’s chains resound. Hongjoong follows, hitting louder than you did, then the hatch snaps shut and seals you inside the brig like it’s your doomsday.

“Y/N?” Seonghwa calls out. He must have felt the tug in his chest that you did when you hit the floor, the tiniest bit of connection holding the two of you together. Somewhere in the back of your mind, you wonder if Wooyoung perhaps felt the same just now.

Instead of finding you, however, Seonghwa is forced to greet Hongjoong first as the captain rounds the corner before you do.

“Joong…” Seonghwa starts, trailing off as he sees you standing just past the captain’s shoulder. “What’s the meaning of this?”

Hongjoong doesn’t answer immediately; he approaches Seonghwa’s cell and reaches a small hand between the bars to catch hold of his lieutenant’s chin. His grip isn’t tight or bruising, just enough to guide Seonghwa’s face up so he can look the other in the eye.

“What was it you told me last night after I dismissed Y/N?”

“…I would not repeat it in front of her, Captain.”

“You said you were scared. You were afraid of what you saw in her right then, that’s what you said. Was it not?”

“I — it was, yes, but I—"

“You told me that you saw a direct reflection of yourself in her. The version of yourself that you fear and hate the most. Did you or did you not say that?”

“Please, Hongjoong, is this not cruel?” Seonghwa begs. He doesn’t budge from Hongjoong’s grasp but he spares a few darting glances your way as he speaks. Hongjoong follows his line of sight to land on where you’re standing several feet away.

“This is a lesson in obedience for you, Y/N. You want to be feared? Fine, go out and be feared by our enemies. But your own crew should never be afraid of you. How do you expect them to trust something they fear?”

You clench your fists by your side. White-hot anger swells in your chest.

“That’s unfair. Do you say the same thing to Mingi?” You snap back, but you’re unable to bring yourself to look at Seonghwa.

“You are not Mingi, Y/N. Far from it actually. And as such I will not have my crew fear you or what you might do. You don’t care for my disappointment or respect? So be it. But I hope you dwell on the knowledge that Seonghwa, the man who knows you possibly better than anyone else on the crew, who has been with you intimately, laid with you in the most vulnerable positions possible, a man who has put his life and well-being in your hands, was afraid of you because of your actions last night.” Hongjoong’s fingers curl a little harder under Seonghwa’s chin, and the captain returns to staring the chained man in the eye when he speaks next. “I asked one thing of you last night, Y/N, and you promised to uphold it.”

“I am willing to trust you with this and with Seonghwa, at least for now. Take care to remember that, especially when it comes to Seonghwa’s heart. For if you mislead him in the slightest, there will be hell to pay.”

“Instilling fear into my lieutenant’s heart was a poor choice on your part.”

“It wasn’t — I didn’t choose to do that!”

“The ice under your feet is quickly cracking, Y/N, so I suggest you take great care with your next words and actions. Otherwise, I will make certain that your only purpose here is to be nothing but a key to my treasure.”

“Hongjoong, don’t you dare sa—”

His hold on Seonghwa disappears in a quick shove, the chains around Seonghwa’s neck rattling as he moves with the push. The lieutenant falls silent in an instant, and he squeezes his eyes shut as though to keep himself from fighting back. Your fists tighten by your sides but you don’t dare move when Hongjoong’s glare is so full of animosity that it could burn you from across the room.

“Be prepared to leave within the next thirty minutes before I change my mind about bringing you on this mission. The others will return soon.”

“Y/N — Hongjoong.” Seonghwa pushes himself up enough to stretch a hand through the bar and catch the end of Hongjoong’s coat tail. “Do not do this, please, this is far from what I wanted! You promised to protect her and—”

“And I am still protecting her. As long as she remains useful.”

“H-He, Y/N, he doesn’t — he’s not… that’s not what he means!”

“If you wish me to be your perfectly silent little weapon, Captain, then so be it,” you spit, ignoring Seonghwa’s pleas. Hongjoong yanks his jacket free of the man’s grasp and steps out of his reach. “But only because I benefit from this too. When it comes time for me to uphold my end of the bargain to Jisung, don’t expect me to be as willing to stay in your care.”

“Y/N, no, no, no—”

“You don’t get to talk, Seonghwa, not when you were the first to let me go.” That stops the lieutenant in his tracks because he knows you have him pinned there. Still, his jaw works in a hapless rhythm that leaves him with stuttering breaths and small noises of frustration.

“That was — that was before I-I knew what he was like, Y/N.”

“I won’t have this conversation in front of an audience, Seonghwa,” you mutter. It’s moreso an attempt to save yourself from the all too painful clench in your chest. If either man before you notices that, they opt not to comment on it, but Hongjoong gives a small shake of his head.

“Then you have thirty minutes to have it now. You had best be at the west airlock by then,” he says just before shoving past you with nothing more than a tiny glance back at Seonghwa. You are of half a mind to follow him out without a word, to leave Seonghwa where he is because you have been avoiding this exact conversation, but you can’t get your legs to function even after the hatch to the brig falls shut behind Hongjoong when he exits.

“I understand if you don’t want to talk to me, Y/N, and you don’t—”

“That’s not the issue here, Seonghwa,” you interject before he can finish the thought. The next sound to leave his lips is a laugh but it sounds so heartless and void of life that guilt twinges in your chest.

“Is it because I said I was afraid of you? Or has your heart finally grown cold towards me as I expected it to from the start?”

“Don’t say that.” You intend for the words to come out with venom, but they sound more like a heartbroken plea than anything else. Seonghwa licks the edges of his dry and cracking lips. “Do you think I’m so cruel?”

“It… no, Y/N, I don’t. It’s because I don’t that I think it’s only a matter of time.” Seonghwa forces a hand up to curl into his dark locks, tugging at the strands at best he can as his chains rattle around him. “I think your heart is too big for your chest, just like San. And even if it was not my intention, I think I used that against you in many ways.”

“I was the one who initiated things, Seonghwa. I asked you to… to have sex with me and distract me. I used you to start with, so I know I carry blame as well.”

“I still pushed you even though I knew how much San means to you.”

“That…” You trail off only because emotion lodges so deep in your throat that it hurts. Swallowing it back down hurts even more, but you manage it without more than a grimace. “At the time, I didn’t realize what that meant or what he meant to me. Even now, I don’t think I fully grasp what my feelings are towards him. That doesn’t mean — I never resented you, and I still don’t.”

“Separation has the power to make us realize things we were blind to,” Seonghwa mutters back. “It made me realize I was unfair to you, even after I promised I would not have you unfairly.”

“I didn’t think it to be unfair.”

“That doesn’t mean it wasn’t.”

“Why are you so desperate to be a martyr?”

“Why won’t you accept that I wronged you?”

“Do you want me to hate you?” You fire back, taking a quick step in Seonghwa’s direction. He straightens some and pulls himself to his knees.

“I don’t know how to fix the places where I went wrong. I… I wish to hear them from you if only to know that you know what I did wrong, or — or just understand that it’s not merely my mind trying to trick me.” Seonghwa looks weak again: pressed on his knees in a way that must hurt, head hanging to hide his eyes, fists clenched around the fabric of his pants. As confident and strong as he sounds, his posture only reads weakness.

“I never thought about it, Seonghwa,” you admit through the breath of silence that follows. “Perhaps we were both blind to it at the time because we — well, I thought you were all I had. I didn’t know what Wooyoung was at the time, I didn’t ever have another Siren in my life, and you were the first person I had with who I could share that burden. I understand withholding information about Wooyoung’s identity from the others, but why me? Especially given that you all knew there was some sort of connection between us. You still held that back from me until there was no more avoiding it. And you did the same with your… relationship with Hongjoong, and I’m not one to be jealous or demanding, but if you still loved him — and I think we both know how you feel about him even now — then I wish you had said that. I should have told you how I felt about San at the time as well, especially as I began to realize it more and more.”

“I would have told you about Wooyoung in an instant, I promise you that much, Y/N. If it had been my place, I would never have let you believe we were alone in that way. But Wooyoung was never ready to tell you until he didn’t have a choice any longer.”

“And as for your lingering feelings towards Hongjoong?”

“I should have told you sooner, yes. I truly believed… I didn’t imagine those feelings were still lingering until I was faced with almost losing him.” Seonghwa at last shifts his pathetic stance, folding his legs under his body until he’s in a more comfortable sitting position.

“When we talked about me leaving with Jisung, and — Seonghwa, you didn’t hesitate to say that your fate is to die at Hongjoong’s side. I just wanted you to ask me to stay. But you didn’t ask me to, and your first reaction wasn’t to do that either. You’ll never be mine, Seonghwa. Not completely, and… right now, in this present we’re living in, I don’t think you can ask me to be okay with that. If you love both of us, then so be it. I see no fault in that, and I’m not trying to say you are at fault for it either, but that moment hurt more than I think you realize.”

“Then I apologize,” he whispers. He lifts his chin just a hair, enough to look you in the eye and enough for you to see the steely resolution in his gaze.

“Do you even know what you’re apologizing for?”

“I believe there I need to apologize for many things. But primarily, I led you to believe I would be wholly yours knowing — knowing that I would never be able to give you that. Y/N, I did not lie to you once about how I felt. Even if my previous promises were empty in your eyes, please know I am genuine in saying that.”

“I’m sorry too, for not realizing my feelings sooner and leading you in a different direction all the while.”

“I have to respectfully disagree, Y/N.” Seonghwa smiles a little, although it’s a sad little grin that’s tight-lipped and doesn’t reach his eyes. “You didn’t lead me on, from my point of view. As you said, until Wooyoung’s revelation, you thought I was all you had. I think it was only natural for us to pursue each other on a physical level in that way. Feelings were bound to get complicated eventually. I knew they would because that’s how it was with Hongjoong so I… should have known earlier on.” Seonghwa lets out a shaky sigh. The smile crumbles and leaves no trace behind, only drifting into a thin line. “San cares about you a lot, Y/N, and I wish for you to have someone like him who can give you his all.”

“Bold of you to give such advice when you and Hongjoong continue to dance around each other,” you whisper through a grin. Either the words or the warmth of your tone bring a genuine huff of laughter out of Seonghwa’s chest.

“It’s what we do best. Yunho is good for him in lots of ways. He needs someone who can fuck with no strings attached and without feelings getting in the way of things. Yunho loves all of us in different ways, and how that love manifests is different for everyone as well. I cannot fault him for comforting Hongjoong the only way Hongjoong knows how.” Seonghwa squeezes his eyes shut, but the smile persists, and it looks more like he’s visiting an old memory somewhere in the back of his mind rather than that he is in pain. “Don’t worry about me, Y/N. You should focus on getting San back and making sure he does not slip through your fingers this time.”

“I think I’ll always worry about you, pretty boy.” You hate how fragile your tone is; there’s too much of a tremor to it, and you sound far too sad for the smile painting your lips.

“Always is a long time, princess.”

“Is that a problem?”

“I don’t mind always.” Seonghwa hums. It’s a content and pleased little sound, nothing indecent, yet his lips tremble even as he pushes his tongue between his teeth. If his eyes were open, you’re confident you would see red rimming his irises and clear tears ready to fall.

There is nothing left to say for now: maybe at some point in the future this is a conversation to revisit and resurrect, but now it’s final in a bittersweet sense. The feeling of walking away this time hurts more than it usually would, although you think you might be able to feel the ache in Seonghwa’s chest without being Sirens. There’s no use in wondering if he feels the ache in yours — the line between his pain and yours is a thin and blurring one, overlapping and twisting together with two threads of different colors. And if Seonghwa has always been a fire in your eyes, then his would be a bright red thread that twists around your finger and keeps you linked to him even as you leave the brig.

The time to feel sad and mourn the loss of whatever feelings lingered between you and Seonghwa is far from now. Perhaps that is cruel torture in and of itself. To lose the chance to mourn is something you think you’re familiar with, but there’s no guarantee that those memories are real. So instead of crying or letting the pain swell, you merely bite down hard on the tip of your tongue until that ache moves elsewhere. It’s enough for now; the thought of what your next mission is and how important it is chases all other thoughts away.

San has been gone long enough.

You’ll take him back if it’s the last thing you do.

“Y/N!”

That voice tears you free of the thoughts plaguing you, and you jolt to a halt in the middle of the hallway you’re currently standing in to find the source of the voice. There’s a flash of black before you. Panic thrums in your nerves, a quick fear that you might be under attack, but then something warm hits you. It’s like a wave, washing over your insides and dispelling that fear as quickly as it appeared.

“Wooyoung,” you exhale just before your eyes settle on his bright and smiling face.

“Mingi’s back, they got Mingi back! They’re coming in the airlock now, let’s go!” Wooyoung grins from ear to ear, the smile splitting his cheeks and making his face glow with joy. You let him grab hold of your wrist without complaint, and he tugs you further down the corridor. “They said he’s okay. Healthy too. Safe. He’s safe. They healed his wound at the warehouse to prep for his treatment, but Jongho and Yeosang got to him before they could hurt him any.”

“One step closer to having to leave,” you murmur, moreso to yourself than to the man before you. He picks up on the words nonetheless, and his hurried steps slow to a dragging walking pace that has you regretting opening your mouth.

“What?” He asks. The smile falls into a deep-seated frown, and you hate it. You hate it so much. The idea of leaving them like this, even if Hongjoong swore not to let you go, you don’t see any other way for this to end peacefully. The only way for everyone involved to come out of this safe and in one piece is for you to go along with your deal with Jisung.

“Nothing,” you whisper. Wooyoung tightens his fingers around your wrist.

“No, what do you mean by that? Having to leave?”

“Oh, come on, Wooyoung,” you laugh through your teeth. “Did you think there was no cost for getting the three of you back? Let’s just go see Mingi. We don’t need to talk about this now.” You try to pull your arm free of Wooyoung’s grip to no avail. All he does is yank you back to face him when you step around his body.

“What did you do?”

“What I had to, Wooyoung. He wasn’t going — he wouldn’t have helped us find you without a price.”

“And the price was you?” Wooyoung cries, loud enough to echo off the metal around your forms. “He doesn’t get to own you, Y/N!”

“It’s not ownership. I’ll go along with him long enough to — to figure something out, then I’ll leave and—”

“And what? You think a man like that will just let you leave?”

“Look, Wooyoung, I knew what I was getting into. I agreed to it myself because I wanted to and because it was the closest thing to a guarantee of your safety, as well as San’s and Mingi’s. If this is the price for your lives, then so be it. It’s okay.”

“Like hell it is. He’ll get my fist put through his throat for even thinking about it,” Wooyoung hisses, nose scrunching up as his face contorts into a scowl. You have to bite your tongue to keep from rolling your eyes.

“I don’t need you to protect me.”

“Too fucking bad.” Wooyoung shoves your arm down with a huff. You don’t even have a second to breathe before he’s rushing back down the hall, continuing your path from earlier and moving so quickly that you have to jog to catch up to him.

“You’re mad at me for saving your life?” You retort to his back. It does nothing to stop him, and the only reaction you get out of him at first is the tension in his shoulders. “As I recall, you threw yourself down for San and Mingi while captured!”

“That was to fucking protect all of us! I knew what I was doing, I knew I would be safe, and I knew they couldn’t hurt me any more than I’ve hurt myself, Y/N.” Wooyoung reels on you just before turning the corner at the end of the corridor. The rage in his expression is more than you can handle, much more intense than you imagined it would be. “We may be similar — we might have pieces of our pasts that line up and mirror each other. But don’t think for a fucking second that I’m supposed to roll over and let you do what I would do. I’m stupid, I’m a fucking idiot, I’ll take whatever punishment I think I can to protect people, and I always fucking go too far. You are going too far. And I refuse to let some asshole with a god complex pretend like he has the power to own another human being. You might be okay with the idea of it, you might think it isn’t as bad as you imagine it to be, but as for me? I refuse to let you lose your freedom. I will put myself on the line any day before I let anything happen to this crew.”

Your jaw stutters dumbly as you struggle to come up with a counterattack. Wooyoung doesn’t wait for you to figure one out either; he returns to his stampede down the hall and leaves you to play catch up once more. And admittedly, by the time you do catch up, there is nothing you could possibly do to keep him from reaching his end goal. Someone opens their mouth to greet him, but you don’t even have time to process whose voice it is before they’re cut short by Wooyoung’s next move.

“Wooyo—”

Wooyoung’s knee careens into a body and hits so hard that body crumples in half. It’s only when Wooyoung threads his fingers through dark hair and yanks upwards that you catch who exactly it is. Jisung stumbles with the motions, chains rattling and shaking as he does. Wooyoung gives him only a second to catch his breath before he’s shoving Jisung face first into the metal wall.

“Hi there,” Wooyoung huffs with another tug to Jisung’s scalp. “I don’t think we’ve had the pleasure of meeting officially yet. You’ve been quite lucky to be in the care of such merciful people.”

“You can’t possibly be the mongrel Y/N has been so distressed about, can you?” Jisung spits over his shoulder. Wooyoung grins wide at that, cheeks pressing upwards and eyes turning to half-moons.

“No.” Another harsh shove and Jisung’s head bounces against the wall. “No, Jisung, I’m the man who is going to make you regret every second of life you’ve had if you even think about laying another finger on her.”

You tug your stare off the pair to glance around, mostly in search of Mingi, and as Wooyoung said, the Berserker does seem relatively safe and unharmed. Almost like he wasn’t even gone aside from a fading bruise on his cheekbone. He’s got one hand balled into a fist and the other tucked into the safety of Jongho’s palm. It’s not enough of a guarantee that he’s okay mentally and emotionally, but at least seeing him visibly alright is reassuring in and of itself. Yeosang stands close to Hongjoong, unmoving and staring forward at Wooyoung without trying to stop him. Hongjoong himself doesn’t do anything either, and you realize then that this is a moment of retribution for all of them in some way. Even me, you think as Jisung writhes under Wooyoung’s tightening grip.

“Get in line then,” he manages to hiss, even if it’s muffled by the wall. “These three dumbasses already left me with many colorful threats the entire way back here.”

“Oh, I will, but you should be aware that there is one person at the end of that line who will end your life in a heartbeat for even thinking you could own Y/N. And he’s about to come back to this very ship that you’re trapped on. So how about you start barking again and see what happens?”

Hongjoong finally pulls forward, and when he does, he wears a wide smile and folds his arms over his chest. He only steps forward enough to lurk just past Wooyoung’s shoulder, standing with a slight tilt so he can look at Jisung out the corner of his eye.

“Checkmate, Han. Let’s see what good your dogs can do with their king backed into a corner.”

✧✧✧ a/n: oakyoakyokayokayo so admittedly i ended up splitting this chapter up and moving the second half of it to the NEXT chapter bc yeah this one would have been over 20k if i didn’t whoopsie! but here we are lots of talking ! in this one, the action comes in the next one bc of the way i shifted things so eheheheh :3 the next might comes sooner than usual we shall see ;) as always ! let me know what u think n how u feel !

taglist: @faeriewoobin @sugarrimajins @atinyinwonderland @sparklychangbin @jeong-uwu @jeonartemis @anothershorthuman @xxbluestrifexx @haotheheckk @noonawriter @lostscenarios @nlost21 @mirror-juliet @purple-aeon @theoinkypiglet @toothlessshiber @atinyarmyx1 @simpforhyunjin @hwangwoosan @softyubi @drumboydowoon @chatsgotmytongue @just-a-starfruit @babydolljo @scintillating-souls @khjssss @icekdy @eggteez @bangtanxberm @uglychildd @lucymultistan @revehosh @choistan @vampyrejimin @unminuit @vitaminkel-c

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivatives 4.0 International License.

#ateez x reader #ateez smut #ateez fluff #ateez angst #mists of celeste #mingi x reader #hongjoong x reader #seonghwa x reader #yeosang x reader #jongho x reader #san x reader #wooyoung x reader #yunho x reader #ateez angst fluff smut #ateez series #ateez pirates #ateez space pirates

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wonderful-wells-writing · 3 years

Text

Fanclub; Chapter 1

EoWells x Reader

Some of the STAR Labs employees have a secret fanclub where they discuss Harrison Wells and share pictures they take when they think he isn't looking. Problem is it's not quite as secret as they think it is. The man himself seems to have taken an interest in the the little group, finding it to be the perfect place to find willing partners to satisfy his needs. And you're his next pick.

Work is dying down for the evening at STAR Labs. Chemists are checking that all the storage units are set to the proper temperatures. Engineers are making sure that everything that needs to be powered down is. Lab techs are cleaning up their stations. But nearly everybody is discussing their plans for the weekend.

There is one worker who is not engaging in such conversations. You are currently crammed between two sections of machinery, determined to get this wiring finished before leaving for the day. That way, Monday, bright and early your team can start doing test runs.

You are not engaging in conversation with others but rather are talking to yourself as you work. “Some red over here, blue wire over there.” Your grin would light up the room if anybody could see it. “I just love when a color-coded array comes together.” There’s a buzz on your right butt-cheek, and you squeal in surprise.

“Everything alright in there?” One of the other scientists looks up from the desk.

“Yeah, Bri,” you extract yourself from the machine parts. “My phone just went off, and I thought something shocked me.”

“Girl, I can not tell you how often that happens to me,” Bri takes her purse from a drawer and a jacket off the chair. “So, what are your plans for the weekend. More number crunching?”

You pull your phone from your back pocket. “Actually my college roommate is having a bachelorette party tonight. So I said I would swing by the bar for a bit.”

“Sounds fun,” Bri gives a wave before heading to the door. “Don’t party too hard.”

She returns the wave before opening a group chat app on her phone to see what the notification is about.

KittyCat42; O.M.G did you see Dr. Wells today? a shirt THAT tight can not be workplace appropriate!!!

Attached is a photo taken from a smartphone at an angle in which the subject does not seem to be aware their picture is being taken. Dr. Harrison Wells is leaning over a desk, examining something on a monitor. Kitty is right; his shirt is very tight, his biceps bulge through the long black sleeves.

You grin, considering sending a reply, but another message comes in first.

YummyBitch73; Think he’s got plans? Looking that good, he’s got to be going out tonight.

Your thumbs move across the screen to type a quick response.

BabyDoll14; Maybe he has a date tonight?

KittyCat42; wonder who the lucky girl is?

You lean against a nearby workbench, smirking at the screen.

---

On the other side of the lab, somebody picks up their phone to check the barrage of notifications coming in. They chuckle before adding their own two cents.

Speedy22: Hey, who knows, it could be a lucky guy.

YummyBitch73: Oh you wish, he is a lady killer through and through

BabyDoll14: I mean, who are we to judge if it’s a lucky lady or gent. Maybe he swings one way, maybe he swings both ways. Who cares, we’re just here to talk about his ass behind his back.

“Speedy’ nods, almost respecting the woman on the other side of the screen for staying objective about objectifying her boss.

Speedy22: Speaking of ass, I got this one yesterday

He opens his gallery and scrolls until an ‘appropriate picture is found. A nice shot of Dr. Wells from behind; the quality is incredible for a smartphone shot. The man’s shirt is riding up, showing a nice strip of the skin of his back, even a bit of where his boxers rise above the waistband of his hands.

YummyBitch73: Damn Speedy, you always get the good ones. You’ll have to teach me some photography lessons sometime.

KittyCat42: what kind of camera are you using? The quality is so gooooood.

“Hey,” a woman’s voice draws his attention away from his device. “Are you staying late again tonight?”

Harrison Wells takes a breath to look her up and down, mentally running through his mind all the employees to try and remember who it is at his office door. “I’ll be headed out soon; I just have to wrap some things up.”

He recalls who she is when he sees the look she’s giving him. Brianna Masters, a specialist working down in Lab C. She would have had to go out of her way to get to his office before leaving. Self-proclaimed president of the Dr. Wells Fanclub, he had just been interacting with the group chat of; after the former president left with a job offer at Mercury Labs. She had been making goo-goo eyes at him since her interview three months ago.

“Well,” Bri twirls a curl of her hair, fluttering her eyelashes. “Harrison, you know I was wondering if you might like to take me out to get some drinks tonight?”

Dr. Wells tries to hide his displeasure at the thought. She wasn’t his type, physically, mentally, emotionally, “I have plans in the morning that require a clear head. Miss. Masters. Now is there anything of importance that you need?” The man was not adverse to flights of fancy to pass the time; he wouldn’t be keeping an eye on the little Fanclub of his if he wasn’t willing to look for ‘interested parties,’ but this particular woman has been of no real interest to him.

For reasons such as how she pouts at his response, “Well, having fun is important.” She mutters before wandering off down the hall, turning her attention to her phone.

YummyBitch73; holy Shit! He just asked me out for drinks. It sucks so much that I have to drive out to Coast City; I”d have taken him up in a heartbeat otherwise.

----

Back in Lab C, you finally finish with the maintenance on the machine. You check your phone once more while heading over to the desk and nearly cackle at what you’re reading. Everybody knows that Bri is full of shit, but there’s no point in calling it out and causing discourse.

You mute the phone to focus on your computer. While humming a quiet tune, you work on moving files to the USB stick plugged into the monitor.

“Fuck,” you whisper, seeing the download time in comparison to the clock on the screen. Of course, you could just leave it be, take the weekend off. It’s not like you get paid extra to run calculations at home.

17 minutes later

“Nonononono, wait, please!” You’re half running to the street as the bus pulls away, leaving you in the illuminated circle of a streetlamp, cursing yourself. That was going to be the last bus coming this way for the night. If you walk home, you’ll never make it in time to change for the party. You might not even make the event at all. You pace up and down the sidewalk, contemplating your options.

A car pulls up beside you, tinted window rolling down, “Need a lift?”

You stop, shocked, “Oh, no I…” you pause, looking through the window, “Dr. Wells, hi...hey.” You swallow your pride. “I would really love to get a ride on-with, with you.” Internally you cringe at how that came out, but figure he probably wouldn’t have heard such a minor slip.

The lock clicks open, and you reach for the door.

“Maple Apartments on South 11th street, right?” Harrison glances at you as you get in the car.

You pause before shutting the door, “do I want to know how you know that?”

He laughs, and you jump a bit at it, “I can see how that would sound a little suspicious.” His smile is reassuring, and his blue eyes are kind behind his glasses. “It was on your registration forms when you started. I enter new employee data myself. Total recall can be useful even for small matters.”

You breathe a sigh of relief, shutting the door and buckling in. “I really appreciate this Dr. Wells, I would have been so late tonight if I didn’t get home to change soon.”

“Bit plans tonight?” Harrison asks as he starts driving. Truth is he had suspected you’d be missing her bus. He had seen you running after the last bus or driven past you walking home numerous times out his way out. You had quite the habit of working until the absolute last moment.

You smile, twiddling your thumbs to keep your hands occupied. “Yeah, I’m meeting a friend at the new bar that opened down the street from my place. She’s getting married soon, and since I can’t make the wedding, I promised I would spend at least a couple hours at her bachelorette party.” You aren’t exactly sure why you’re volunteering this information to your boss. It would be inappropriate to be so casual with him; then again, it’s also inappropriate to be part of a Fanclub that secretly takes pictures of him and talks about how great his ass looks.

Harrison ‘hmms’ in thought. “Why can’t you make it to the wedding?” He glances at you out of the corner of his eye, taking a moment to take in the way you sit, act, look, before returning his eyes to the road.

“Oh, they scheduled it for a Wednesday, so,” you look towards him just moments after he looks away. The first thing you notice is his hair; whenever you’ve seen him in the morning, it’s perfectly combed and straight, but it seems like as the day went on, it began to take on a life of its own. While the back is still nice and neat, the front is sticking out in all kinds of directions.

“You could have asked for the day off,” Dr. Wells offers, “Am I such a terrible boss that you think I”d deny you some vacation after all your hard work?”

You feel a heat rise to your cheeks at what seems to be a compliment to her work ethic, “Oh no, I don’t think that at all. It’s just that, well, we have so much work to do. Every day we get a little closer to your dreams of the particle accelerator, and I want to contribute absolutely everything I can to that dream.” You smile. “You’re going to do such incredible things for the world of science Dr. Wells, and I don’t want to waste any time that could be spent helping you.”

The man is somewhat stunned by this. He’d attributed her long hours and determination to personal ambition. “What about you? Do you want history to remember you for your achievements?”

You bite your lower lip in thought at the question, “I mean sure, it would be nice to be recognized for my contribution, but,” she takes a deep breath, “I’m more concerned about how my work will impact the world, not so much if I’m remembered for it. Anyways you’re the true genius. I can tell that STAR Labs will make big changes and put humanity on a path towards the future. As long as I get to be a part of that, it’s all I really need.”

Harrison does a low chuckle at your sentiment, amused by the naivety. You speak with such hope and wonder and admiration. If you knew the truth, how horrified would you be? The realization of the end goal of the particle accelerator, the effects across history that your determination would wreak.

He grins, “Well, I am glad to have such a dedicated employee, but I do believe that one off day is not going to hurt our progress.”

You purse your lips, “You don’t come down to Lab C very often; you’d be surprised how off the rails things can go when I’m not there. Anyways I would rather work than go to a wedding. It’s not my kind of scene.”

He can sense that you are holding something back but doesn’t press the issue any further. He’s reached your apartment building anyways.

“If you change your mind, I’ll be more than happy to give you the time off,” he says as he parks.

“I’ll keep that in mind,” you reach for the door handle, “oh, and thank you so much for the ride. I really owe you one.”

Dr. Wells makes a mental note about cashing in that favor later. “You just stay safe and enjoy yourself tonight.” He smiles warmly at you as you wave goodbye, but when the door shuts, his grin turns a bit darker. He watches you walk away, eyes tracing the curve of your figure, resting on the beautiful shape of your rear, right up until you disappear into your building.

As he begins to drive away, he catches sight of himself in the rearview mirror. There is something about this form of his that seems to drive the ladies crazy, and he wasn’t opposed to taking advantage of that. While pulling back into the street and driving away, he thinks on his situation.

For 13 years now, Eobard Thawne has been trapped in this god-forsaken time period. For a while, he had focused solely on his mission, rarely interacting with others unless it served a greater purpose. But he was still a man, subject to desire. At first, it was almost enough to make him regret allowing Harrison Well’s wife to die, she could have filled his needs easily. But that woman had been intelligent; she’d have discovered his identity eventually, so allowing her to die had been for the best.

Still, after a few years of isolation, Thawne had found the need unbearable and began seeing ways to fill the hole that was forming in his chest. Little flings, one-off nights where he indulged his carnal side, allowed himself the pleasure of another’s body before quickly parting ways with them, when he discovered that a fanclub devoted to him had been formed amongst his employees, that made the whole thing easier.

Joining the group chat under a false name was easy enough. It inflated his ego every time he read them discussing how great they thought he looked, and he was more than happy to provide material for them to gush over. And with that, it was like he had been given a list of women who would fuck him with no questions asked. All he had to do was choose. Of course, he has to be wary of those who might get too clingy or go off telling other people. But it’s not that hard to week those types out of the pack.

Thawne notices magenta neon as he’s driving. A club with a grand opening sign out front. He smiles, knowing that now not only does he have a new prey lure in, but the perfect hunting ground as well.

#eowells x reader #eowells fanfiction #harrison wells x reader #harrison wells fanfiction #eowells #harrison wells #jade writes

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chaoticminhos · 4 years

Text

priceless

priceless; adjective; so precious that its value cannot be determined.

pairing: bang chan x reader

genre: angst, fluff, enemies to lovers, rich kid! bang chan au

warnings: none, lowkey sugar daddy channie but nothing is sexual

word count: 14.3k (oh my god)

a/n: this is a super long one, i’m sorry! i got a bit carried away

christopher bang. chris. bang chan. he was a boy with the whole world at his fingertips, diligent and hardworking. the kind of boy you could bring home and your mother would adore him. your father couldn’t dream of a better boy to date his daughter.

at least, that’s how everyone else would describe him. but you? no, to you, he was nothing but an arrogant asshole.

he flaunted the trophies and medals he won from swimming like they made him the most important man alive. he never missed a chance to point out that he was top of the class, even with being in sports. he could handle it all, such a balanced and sturdy young man, all of his teachers said.

people called him modest, but you couldn’t see it. not even a peak coming out from under the obnoxious fancy shirts he wore to school every day just to show that he had enough money to own that many different name brand clothes. your school didn’t even have a strict dress code, who the hell in their right mind would wear button up and dress pants in place of hoodies and sweats? a fucking prick who needs to prove in every way possible that he is better than everyone else, that’s who. he was mister fucking perfect and he never, not for one second, let you forget that.

you begrudgingly stepped into your first hour class and made your way to your assigned seat, groaning at the fact that in just a few minutes, the school bell would ring and you’d be forced to sit right next to chan for the whole 45 minutes the class lasted.

honestly, you thought your teacher was fucking insane for placing you and chris next to each other. and in a corner spot, no less! chris was pinned in between you and the wall, the only person other than you in direct line of contact for him being the two seated ahead of you. but that didn’t stop chan, no, he yelled over you to his friends as if you weren’t even there and it pissed you off. you’d offered to swap seats so you wouldn’t have to deal with his yelling over you, but he denied, saying that he didn’t want to get in trouble with the teacher.

“they’re assigned seats, y/n,” he’d said, “the whole point is we can’t just swap.”

students filtered in and, per usual, chan was one of the last to enter. he was almost always just on the edge of being late to the first hour, him and his friend hyunjin. they had before school swim practice and apparently it would kill their coach to let them off 10 minutes earlier so they wouldn’t be late to class. it didn’t matter though, the teacher waited for them every day. god forbid golden boys chris and hyunjin miss the first minute of class.

chan walked behind you to his seat, bumping into the back of your chair as he passed. asshole. there was plenty of room for him to get past you easily, he didn’t need to shove your chair.

the teacher began class just as chan plopped his bag onto your shared table, the straps from it falling across your notebook on your side of the table.

you brushed them off, pushing his bag further away from you. he sent you a look and threw his hands up in the air like you’d just ruined his bag.

“what’s your problem today?”

you looked up at him, breath slightly catching at his damp hair. he showed up to class like this every single day, with his hair pressed to his forehead and his shirt pressed close to his body, still damp from the pool and showering off, but that didn’t change the fact that every single day, he still took your breath away.

as much as you hated him, he was strikingly attractive. it’s a shame that people can’t have both good looks and a good personality.

you put a forced smile on your face, “same as always, bang. you.”

your argument was cut short by your teacher sending a small glare towards you, a silent order to be quiet.

that’s another thing that pissed you off. he had started the conversation, but you were always the one who got in trouble for talking. not once did the teacher scold him for talking in class, only you.

“you’ll be working with your table partners today--“

you didn’t even bother to listen to the rest, groaning and putting your head in your arms on the desk. you had requested not to always be partners with your desk mate, stating that you and chan didn’t get along that well, but your teacher insisted.

“chris is a wonderful person to be partnered with, y/n.”

and of course chan wouldn’t back you up on the request of different partners. he didn’t want to be your partner in everything, god no, but it simply wouldn’t look good for him if he complained about another student.

you looked back up when chan snapped his fingers right next to your ear, causing you to jolt up and send a glare at him. he pointed to the paper that your teacher had placed on your desk.

“we’re supposed to brainstorm together.”

“can’t we just do it separately and say we talked the questions through?”

he put a fake pout on his face, “you don’t wanna share your ideas with me?”

a grin spread across his face as your jaw clenched in frustration.

“i don’t want to interact with you, period.”

“i'm just as excited as you are--“

he was cut off by the sound of your stomach growling. you groaned, you hadn’t had time to get dinner yesterday and you couldn’t afford to buy breakfast this morning.

“someone’s hungry.”

“i didn’t have breakfast.”

“why, slept in?”

“couldn’t afford it.” you mumbled, not thinking much of your words, just letting them fall from your lips.

he laughed lightly, “couldn’t afford breakfast?”

your eyes slowly lifted from the paper to his face, casual mood from just seconds before long gone.

“not everyone was born on a pile of money, chan.”

“sorry, it was just a question.”

it wasn’t even 9 am and you already wanted to rip his head off.

“fucking forget about it, let’s just get this done so you can fuck off.”

he nodded in agreement, pressing his lips tightly together to bite back a response before reading out the first question before stating his opinions on the matter.

he didn’t bother you much more for the rest of the class period, just focusing on the work ahead of you two. he didn’t bring the breakfast issue up again, which honestly surprised you. it had obviously gotten a rise from you, you expected him to milk that for as long as possible.

you didn’t see him again until lunch, where your eyes were glued to the back of his head as you angrily went over the start of your day to your best friends.

“he fucking made fun of me for not having money.”

“he’s such a prick.” sooyeon said through a mouthful of chips, turning to show one of her friends something on her phone. she wasn’t really listening. she never did when it came to you complaining about chan.

sooyeon was your best friend along with jisung, but she has lots of friends other than the two of you. she was an easy person to be around, you understood why everyone liked her:

“i agree,” jisung said as he sat himself down next to you, “i don’t get why you’re so obsessed with him when i’m literally right here.”

you hit his arm, causing his tray to shake as he set it on the table, some of the chocolate pudding falling onto the table.

“i am not obsessed with him, jisung! it’s just hard not to think about him so much when he makes it a point to be a cock every single fucking time we interact.”

jisung ignored your reply, scooping up the pudding you caused him to spill and plopping it onto an empty place on your tray.

you moved to shove him again, but he instinctively reached his hands to your arms to stop you, coating your sleeve with the pudding that he had yet to clean off of his hand.

“jisung!” you shouted, unable to keep a smile from breaking out on your face. there was no real reason to be mad, it would wash out, but you wanted to give him a hard time for it anyway.

“you ruined my favorite sweatshirt!”

you grabbed his wrist, pressing his still dirty hand against the chest of his own hoodie, giving it a stain to match the one on your arm.

“what the fuck?” he called through a loud laugh.

“it’s payback, you dickhead.”

he wiped his hand off on a napkin before standing up and motioning for you to do the same. he packed the apple and chips from his lunch into his bag for later tossed out the rest.

“you are so lucky i have extra clothes in my gym locker.”

you followed him as he started through the cafeteria, “i’m lucky? you’re the one who got pudding on me first!”

“i don’t recall that ever happening. obviously it got on you when you were brutally attacking me.”

you hit him again, laughing as he led you out of the food court and to the gyms.

you hadn’t realized, but you’d walked right past chan and his friends as you were leaving. he observed the interaction between you and jisung and let out a nose laugh at the childishness of it.

he got up and tossed his tray. he’d heard jisung mention the locker room and it reminded him he needed to grab his math textbook from there, he’d left it there after practice that morning.

chan expected you to be in the girls locker room changing or waiting outside of the boys locker room for jisung to bring you a clean shirt, so he thought nothing of stepping into the locker room himself. what he did not expect was to be met face to face with you as you slipped one of jisungs hoodies over your head, chans eyes barely catching the bottom of your bra as you pulled the cloth down.

jisung was still shirtless, digging through his locker for a shirt that didn’t have pudding on it and didn’t smell distinctly of sweaty boy. he looked up upon hearing the door open, nodding to chan as he entered.

he didn’t acknowledge jisung, instead keeping his attention on you.

“you do know this is the boys locker room, right?”

your eyes widened in mock surprise, “really? i thought this was the music department. no wonder there’s no piano.”

he huffed as he walked past you and to his own locker where his book was sat on the bench beside it.

“why are you in here, anyway?” he continued.

“jisung is a dumbass.”

the boy in question turned to you as he slipped his own sweatshirt over his head, “you’re being quite an asshole to me considering i just gave you the one actually clean sweatshirt i had on hand.”

“maybe if you hadn’t gotten pudding on the one i was wearing i wouldn’t need to steal yours.”

chan cut in, “don’t you have your own clothes to change into?”

jisung responded for you, “she doesn’t have gym.”

chan nodded, “not surprised by that.”

he’d mumbled it, but you heard. first he’d made fun of your economic status, now he was going to take a jab at your body?

“what the fuck is that supposed to mean?”

you took a step towards him and he put his hands up in defense, “you don’t seem like the sporty type.”

your eyes narrowed and he seemed to get what you had been thinking.

“no, oh my god! i’m not that low.”

you scoffed, “but you’re low enough to tease someone for being poor? come on jisung.”

you bundled your dirty sweatshirt into your arms and swung your bag over your shoulder before leaving the locker room with jisung hot on your trail.

when you entered your first class the next day, you were met with a plastic wrapped muffin sitting on the table of your spot.

you figured someone had forgotten it there from the day before and no one had noticed to move it. you inspected the wrapper, it was still fully sealed. deciding whoever left it there probably forgot about it and remembering you hadn’t been able to get breakfast that morning either, you unwrapped the muffin and took a bite.

and damn, muffins hit different when they’re the first thing you’ve eaten since dinner time the night before.

you were about halfway done with the tasty treat when chan found his way to his spot beside you. he was wearing a plain white button up that day. water droplets from his hair had fallen onto his shoulder and collar, making small see through patches across his collar bones. you caught yourself staring before he did, thankfully.

he pointed to the muffin in your hand, “you got yourself breakfast this morning.”

you nodded, providing no verbal response, just taking another bite of the muffin.

the bell rang and the teacher clapped to get the classes attention, stating that you’d be continuing the discussion activity you and your partner had started the day before.

you looked over to chan with wide eyes. it was supposed to take two days? the two of you had gone through most of the questions the day before.

“did we miss something?” he started, reaching across the table to drag your paper closer to him so he could see it. you sighed, he had his own sheet. it would have taken literally five seconds for him to get his own instead of hijacking yours.

“i think my brain is just too good for her assignments.” you shrugged as you took the final bite of your muffin, crumpling the wrapper in your hand.

“your brain? please,” he leaned back in his chair, turning his body towards you, “i’m obviously the powerhouse of this duo.”

you raised your eyebrows with a smile, “then what am i? the hot eye candy?”

he pretended to think for a moment, “no, i think that one's me too...”

your smile grew, the words were teasing but not in a bad way. you could not believe you were having a civil conversation with bang chan, let alone an almost friendly argument.

you tossed the rolled up muffin wrapper at him, hitting him right in the cheek. he scrunched his nose, “you’re fucking terrible.”

the words weren’t anything different from what you would expect him to say to you, but the tone was lighter than usual. almost playful. still, they seemed to snap you into reality. bang chan was not your friend.

you reached to the paper he’d taken from you and glanced at the last few questions, pointing to the next in line and reading it aloud.

“is it unethical for heinz to steal the pills for his dying wife?” (look up the heinz moral debate if you don’t know what i’m referring to)

he thought for a moment before responding.

“no.”

“why?” you prompted him to continue.

“it says he tried every ethical and legal way, he has no other choice. he doesn’t have the money to pay for the pills, stealing is the only option he has left.”

you nodded, making a slightly surprised face.

“what?”

“nothing. i just took you for the kind of person to be all, i don’t know, fuck the poor.”

you scanned his face and he looked almost offended at your remark.

“of course not, everyone deserves the same opportunities when it comes to things like this.”

the rest of the hour went the same, pleasant way. you had to keep reminding yourself every couple of minutes that he was not your friend. he was being oddly pleasant to be around that day, but he was still an arrogant prick.

you were met with another muffin on your spot the next morning. and the morning after that. and the one after that, too. and the next one, and so on. it became clear to you within the first few days that it couldn’t be a coincidence, someone was leaving muffins there for you every morning. you found it kinda weird at first, considering you couldn’t think of who could be doing it. if it was jisung or sooyeon they would just hand it to you, they wouldn’t go through the trouble of sneaking into the ethics classroom before school started to put a muffin on your spot. neither of them even got to the school in time to do that. but after a while, you just accepted it. you appreciated the little snack every morning, it gave you something to go to school for and it assured you that you’d be able to eat something, even if you were short on money.

after a while, you stopped finding it weird and started to find it cute and endearing.

jisung and sooyeon were convinced it was a secret admirer, that someone had a crush on you and didn’t know how to show it. you didn’t believe that idea, no one even knew you even existed other than the two of them and a couple other friends. still, you honestly couldn’t think of another reason.

either way, it changed your first period class from being something to dread because of the boy seated next to you into something to look forward to. that, and chris had been more bearable. he was still an obnoxious asshole and he didn’t deserve half of the positive attention he constantly had, but not every conversation with him was full of angry words and snappy remarks anymore. you were starting to realize that maybe some of the things he did weren’t really mean or annoying and it was just you finding different excuses to be mad at him, but you’d never admit that out loud.

you still didn’t call him a friend, and he didn’t call you one either. he would probably be embarrassed to call someone like you his friend. he still annoyed the living hell out of you, but you couldn’t make yourself have an undying hatred for him anymore. just a strong disliking.

but he was not your friend. he was still the same dickhead he had been the whole time you’d been in school with him. he wasn’t a nice person.

you still didn’t like him.

you seemed to repeat that to yourself quite a lot.

you smiled as you picked up the muffin from the table, you’d lost count of how many had been left for you by now. you unwrapped it and started eating, you’d stopped checking the wrappers for holes after the first few. it was silly, but you trusted whoever was leaving them for you.

hyunjin and chan walked into the room just as the bell went off. chan was laughing at something hyunjin said, his dimples showing. they’re something you’d grew to really like about him. you didn’t even know he had dimples before, he never smiled at you up until a couple weeks ago.

the teacher waited for them to reach their spots before beginning the lecture, talking for a while about something or another. you didn’t really pay attention, zoning out as you finished your muffin and tossed the wrapper at chan like you’d made a habit of doing with every wrapper you had.

it was funny, you thought. every single day, even though he complained about it, he would pick up the wrapper from wherever it landed and deliver it to the trash himself. he tried to make you do it originally, but you refused.

“you’ll be working with the same partner you’ve had all semester. i have rubrics up here if anyone wants a paper copy.”

you tuned in to the last bit of what your teacher said, catching on that she was assigning another partner project, and your partner would be the same as always- chan.

both of you pulled out your laptops and pulled up the work. neither of you complained about always being partners anymore, the same argument over and over again did no one good. plus, it’s not like he was the worst partner to have. because of his position as golden boy, he always did good on his work, assuring you that you’d have a partner that would do their share.

the project consisted of you drawing a topic from a hat the teacher passed around and finding the other group with that topic. you would be debating against that group on whatever topic you and chan had drawn.

chan let you be the one to draw from the hat and you drew ‘the morality of euthanasia (anti)’

you laughed at it, “kill the old, eat the rich.”

chan raised an eyebrow at you, laughing at your response.

“we’re supposed to be against it. don’t kill the old, no eating the rich.”

“you’re just saying that because you don’t want to be eaten.”

“oh, you got me. i don’t want to be cannibalized, how dare i.”

you were paired to debate against two boys, kim seungmin and lee felix. they were chans friends. they didn’t swim with him, but they sat with him at lunch and hung out with him a lot, you’d saw them around him enough to get that.

you spent the rest of the period doing general research on the topic. it wasn’t biased, so you were able to work with seungmin and felix on it, too. they were actually pretty fun to be around. you expected them to be stuck up and bratty like chan, but they weren’t. seungmin was really sweet and felix was super funny.

“i’m telling you, eat the rich.” felix spoke.

“that’s what i’ve been saying!” you called out, reaching your hand out to give him a high five.

“felix, you’re literally rich.” chan pointed out.

“no, channie, my parents are rich. i am simply living off of their rich people money.”

you checked the clock, realizing class would be ending in a few minutes. you packed your things back into your bag before turning to chan.

“she said we’d need to work outside of class. does the library after school work?”

he sharply inhaled, “i have practice and by the time it’s over the library will be closed. if you’re okay with waiting we can go to my house after practice?”

you were slightly taken aback by the request.

“uh, sure.”

“you can watch practice if you want, or even just sit in the pool room doing homework or playing on your phone or something and then i can give you a lift to my place.”

that solved the issue of finding a ride there and you figured he couldn’t live too far, you’d be able to walk home, so you agreed.

the last bell rang and you lifted yourself from your chair and headed to the hallway, meeting jisung and sooyeon by their lockers.

jisung raised his keys, “ready to go?”

“actually, i’m staying to work on a project with chan, i forgot to tell you.”

“you’re getting awfully close with him recently.” sooyeon teased, wiggling her eyebrows.

you would have hushed her just as you did every time she even dared to mention you and chan becoming closer, but jisung cut you off.

“here?”

“no, at his house.”

“do you have a ride there and home?”

“yeah,” you started, “he’s driving me there and i can just walk home.”

“walk?” jisung frowned, “how far away is his place from yours?”

you shrugged, “can’t be that far.”

he shook his head, “not happening. text me his address and i’ll take you home when you’re done.”

there was no point in arguing with him. he got super protective over you and sooyeon when it came to stuff like this. he said it wasn’t safe for you to walk home alone, that’s the whole reason he drove you and sooyeon home every day.

you barely had time to promise jisung you’d let him drive you home before someone was calling your name from down the hallway.

“y/n! chan said you’re watching practice?”

you looked at the source of the voice, hwang hyunjin. since when did he talk to you? or even know your name?

“yeah,” you replied, “i’m coming.”

you waved goodbye to your friends before jogging to meet hyunjin at the end of the hallway, letting him lead you to the practice rooms. you’d been in them before, you went to a fair share of sports games and meets, but it felt weird being in it with it so empty, especially alone with a boy you’d barely ever talked to. he noticed the tension.

“sorry, i’m hyunjin. chan’s been mentioning you a lot lately so i figured i should make myself present.”

“oh,” you laughed, “it’s not a big deal. we aren’t really close or anything.”

hyunjin raised his eyebrows and a smirk played at his lips, “so you’re not dating or anything like that?”

your face flushed red, “god, no. i don’t have a boyfriend.”

his smile grew, “good to know.”

your face grew even more red as the door to the locker room opened and chan stepped out.

“stop flirting with y/n and go get changed.”

hyunjin turned to him, “you seem to have forgotten that i am the captain of this team and i do not take orders from you.”

he punctuated the last word with a finger to chans chest as he passed him and entered the room to get ready for practice.

“how’d you know he was flirting?” you laughed.

“it’s all he does.”

chan stepping closer to you in his shirtless form did nothing for your blushed face. he was actually in more than he would be during meets, considering it was just a practice so he was allowed to wear swim trunks, but it was still a lot more of him, or any boy for that matter, than you were used to seeing.

to your dismay, he noticed how your eyes avoided him as he stepped closer to you.

“what, not used to shirtless boys?” he teased.

“unless it’s jisung, no.” you replied, eyes trained on the pool behind him.

he raised an eyebrow, “i thought you said you two weren’t a thing?”

“we’re not. he just has stupid high body heat and strips randomly in the middle of movie nights.”

he nodded, taking a step closer to you.

“you’re so flustered when it’s just me out here, are you gonna be able to handle the whole team?”

you stepped back, “i’ve watched swim meets before chan, it’s fine. it’s just weird because we’re alone right now.”

as if on cue, the door swung open and the boys streamed out of the locker room, hyunjin last. you didn’t really recognize anyone on the team but chan and hyunjin. they made their way to the edge of the pool and chan jogged to join them, pointing at the stands near the pool for you to sit down at.

the boys started to warm up and a small crowd of girls built up on the bleachers around you. none of them seemed to notice you until the coach entered and scanned the small crowd.

“you’re new a new addition.” he pointed out.

you were gonna reply that you were just there for the one day when chan cut in for you with a smile on his face, “i invited her, coach.”

the coach looked in between you and chan with a small smile.

“oh, you did?”

you didn’t know what it meant but his words had been laced with a teasing tone and it made yours cheeks heat up. did it matter that chan had invited you and you hadn’t just randomly showed up?

apparently it did. you got a tap on your shoulder and you turned around to face the person who did it.

“did chan really invite you specifically to watch?”

“i mean, yeah.” you began, “i’m going to his place after so he said i could just wait here.”

her eyes widened, “he invited you to his house?”

you grimaced, this was drawing more attention than you wanted, “it’s nothing like that, we have a project to work on.”

she hummed and nodded, focusing her attention back on the boys.

you thought you’d get bored during the practice and end up scrolling through your phone, but you didn’t. something about the way they moved so fluidly and easily in the water was captivating to watch. your eyes kept mostly to chan, but they drifted to hyunjin a lot, too. watching him, you understood why he was captain. he had such control of his body even under the pressure of the water, it was like it was moving according to what he willed it to.

practice ended and all of the boys jumped out of the pool and grabbed a towel, heading straight for the locker room. everyone but chan. he dried his hair off before slinging the towel around his neck and over his shoulders and walking up to where you were sitting at the bleachers. he leaned against the cold metal as he spoke to you.

“i just need to shower quick and get changed then we can go. i won’t be long.”

you nodded and gave him a soft smile. most of the girls who’d came to watch the boys swim had left already, but the few who hadn’t began whispering after seeing your and chans interaction.

you didn’t know why it was such a big deal, you were his partner for a project.

high school dynamics always confused you.

after a few minutes of mindlessly scrolling through your phone, chan pushed the door open and stepped out, calling to you to follow him out. he lead you through the school and outside to the parking lot. it didn’t take much for you to find his car, you guessed it was one of the few that looked like they cost more than you were worth. no doubt the other ones belonged to his friends.

to say you were surprised when he jogged ahead of you to open the passenger side door for you would be an understatement. he really had changed a lot from a couple weeks before. or maybe you just started seeing things differently.

he frowned slightly at your confused face as you approached the car.

“what?”

“i didn’t take you for the gentleman type.”

“how would you know? you’ve never gone out with me before.”

you shrugged, he had a point.

he slipped into the driver seat and put the key in the ignition. the startup was so quiet you wouldn’t have even known it was turned on if he hadn’t shifted gears and started to drive. you were so used to clunky old cars like the one your family had or the one jisung drove around in.

speak of the devil, your phone lit up with a message from jisung.

sungie🤢💗: at his place yet?

you: headed there now

sungie🤢💗: address ??

you: one sec

you lifted your eyes from your screen to look at chan, “hey, what’s your address?”

he looked confused, “why?”

“jisungs gonna pick me up when we’re done.”

he glanced at you before training his eyes back onto the road, “no he’s not, i’ll take you home.”

“sung already said he could.”

“i thought it was a given that i’d give you a ride home since i was the one to invite you out?”

you laughed, “since when is that an unspoken rule?”

he shrugged, “it’s just good manners.”

you leaned back into the seat, sending jisung a message than chan was giving you a ride home.

who knew bang chan even knew what good manners were.

you were right about his house not being far, he was pulling his fancy car into the fancy driveway of his fancy house within just a few minutes.

although you knew it was normal life for him, you were amazed that he could step into such a pretty house so casually. you felt like if you touched anything, it would shatter.

he slipped off his shoes at the door and you did the same, following him up a large set of stairs and into what you assumed was his bedroom.

you’d expected it to be neat, but it was the exact opposite, clothes tossed randomly on the floor and open chip bags laying around. you laughed at the condition of his room and he pouted as he hurried to try to clean up some of the mess.

“don’t make fun of me, i didn’t expect company.”

“who knew that you, bang chan, were so messy.”

“i’m a high school boy, what did you expect?”

“yeah, but you’re also the pride of the school.”

he huffed, plopping down onto his bed after deciding cleaning was no use, “i’m still just a kid.”

you sat yourself down next to him, pulling your laptop from your bag and opening it. you were immediately faced with the issue of not having wifi connection.

“chan, what’s your wifi password?”

“it’s super long,” he mumbled as he reached across your lap and took the device from your hands, “i’ll just type it for you.”

you didn’t have the time to scold him for just taking it from you, you were too busy trying to convince yourself that you did not feel butterflies in your stomach when he had gotten that close to you.

you just weren’t used to boys other than jisung being so casual around you, that’s all.

he handed your laptop back to you and rose to his feet, getting up and doing something behind you for a few seconds. you didn’t pay attention, already getting to work on research.

a few seconds later, you felt the bed dip beside you and chan was pulling his legs onto the bed and sitting with them crossed and his own laptop in his lap, his loose button up he’d worn all day now replaced with a plain black t-shirt.

your face flushed red when you realized he’d just changed his shirt with you in the room, not that it was a big deal. he was a swimmer and he was used to people seeing him shirtless, it didn’t mean anything to him, but it was still odd for you.

the two of you worked in silence for about an hour before he fell onto his back, closing his laptop and tossing it onto the bed beside him.

you let out a small laugh, “what?”

“it’s boring.” he groaned, “let’s get food.”

it didn’t take much for him to convince you to ditch schoolwork and get food instead. he led you back down the stairs and into a kitchen that you swore was bigger than your whole house, opening the fridge door and leaning down to look at its contents.

he shut the door and let out an obnoxious groan, “i don’t want any of this,” his eyes locked with your and a grin appeared on his face, “let’s go somewhere for food.”

you gave a skeptical look before a small smile took over your features, “okay.”

he walked up to his room with you and you grabbed your bag before the two of you slipped your shoes on and you hopped back into his car, him rushing ahead to open the door for you once again.

you buckled your seat belt, “where are we going?”

he shrugged, “what are you hungry for?”

“you’re the one who wanted to go out for food.”

“and now i’m asking you to choose.”

you huffed, “i don’t know, anywhere.”

he hummed and nodded his head, “the diner a couple blocks down from the school?”

you perked up at the suggestion, that was your favorite place to eat.

“oh my god, please.”

he laughed at your reaction, pulling the car from his driveway and starting the route to the small diner. as the building came into view, you wondered why chan even knew about this place. he could afford so many more fancy restaurants.

he held the door open and you stepped into the small place with a smile on your face, you hadn’t been able to come here for a while.

chris let you choose where to sit before grabbing a menu from the stack on the table and shoving it in your direction.

“get whatever you want, i’m paying.”

you tried to object, but he wouldn’t take no for an answer. honestly, you didn’t fight too hard, either. it saved you from the trouble of finding the money to pay for it.

you still didn’t want to make him spend a bunch on you, so you decided to just repeat the name of whatever he ordered to make sure you didn’t get anything too expensive.

he ended up asking for a classic, just chicken strips and fries. you silently thanked him for ordering your favorite meal, repeating the same thing when the waitress asked what you wanted.

“would you like any sauce with that?”

you nodded politely, “barbecue, please.”

chan scrunched his nose and made a sound of disgust across the table, “barbecue is gross.”

you tried to hold down a smile as you glared at him, “says the one who ordered ranch! who the fuck eats ranch with chicken?”

“i do.” the waitress giggled, and you jumped. you’d kinda forgotten she was still there.

“oh, i’m sorry!”

she laughed, “it’s okay. what can i get for drinks?”

“i’ll take a chocolate shake, please.” chan answered first.

“i’ll take a chocolate shake, too.”

you folded the menu in front of you, content with your order.

“aw, come on.” chan made a sound of disapproval, “get a different flavor. if you want some chocolate, you can have some of mine.”

you felt a blush creep onto your cheeks, “um, okay, i’ll take strawberry then.”

the waitress clicked her pen shut with a smile, “i’ll have those out as soon as possible.”

you waited until she was out of earshot before speaking again.

“still think you’re fucking gross for eating chicken with ranch.”

he chuckled, pausing for a moment before responding.

“do you come here a lot?”

you shrugged, “i used to. i don’t too much now though,” you debated telling him the truth, you couldn’t afford to eat out much, but opted not to. you were still upset with him for his response the last time you mentioned your money issues.

“too busy.”

he nodded in understanding.

“what’s your favorite thing on the menu?”

you let out an unamused laugh, and it sounded a lot more harsh than you’d intended it to.

“why are you asking so many questions?”

he frowned, “just friendly conversation.”

you leaned back in your seat, “we’re not friends.”

you could have swore you saw something like hurt flash across his features before you were interrupted by the waitress setting your milkshakes in front of you.

you took a sip of your strawberry milkshake and any grumpy feelings you had for chan making you order it went out the window. it had been so long since you’d had a strawberry milkshake, or any kind other than chocolate. you always took the safe bet and got a chocolate shake, knowing you liked them, but you’d forgotten how good strawberry was.

you almost regretted snapping at chan as the two of you sat in uncomfortable silence waiting for the food to arrive. luckily, it didn’t take long, considering it was sort of late in the evening and there weren’t many other customers.

you made a gagging sound as the waitress placed a small container of ranch on chans plate.

the playful interaction seemed to give him the confidence to pick up conversation again.

“i used to come here all the time when i was little. me, hyunjin, felix, and seungmin got ice cream here practically every day in the summer.

you hummed in response, taking a bite of your food. the two of you ate in comfortable silence until both of your meals were complete. you shook your head lightly when chan motioned his chocolate shake to you, silently offering you to have a drink. you finished off your own shake with a sigh, leaning back into your seat.

“ready?” chan asked and you nodded in agreement, lifting yourself from your seat to stand.

you followed chan to the counter where he payed, leaving a generous tip for the kind waitress.

you watched as he opened the car door for you yet again and made a secret promise to yourself to beat him to it next time.

wait, next time?

you shook the thought from your head as you fastened the seatbelt across yourself.

you gave chan directions to your house and helped him find each turn along the short drive. it wasn’t far, you really could have walked home.

you couldn’t help but feel slight embarrassment as he pulled into your driveway. his car was probably worth more than your entire house.

you half expected him to make a rude comment about it, but instead he mentioned the small garden you had planted in the front yard, barely visible in the dark. it was lit up by your porch light.

“what do you plant?”

“huh? oh, flowers mostly. i might plant some tomatoes to throw at you though.”

he laughed as you stepped out of his car. he waited until your front door was shut behind you before pulling out of your driveway and making his way home, where he immediately found his bed.

he frowned when he saw two computers on it, you must have forgotten to put yours in your bag before the two of you left to get food.

he packed both of the devices into his school bag before getting ready for bed and crawling under the covers.

although he knew you’d only agreed to hang out for the project, he was glad you had. it seemed like he was finally breaking your shell of whatever you seemed to have against him.

you were digging through your book bag the next morning, muffin in hand, when chan and hyunjin strolled into the classroom, borderline late as always.

your eyes went to chan as he called your name while making his way towards you, lifting a laptop up in the air.

that’s where your laptop had disappeared to.

“you left it at mine last night.”

you thanked him as he set it in front of you, ignoring the whispers that erupted when chan announced that you’d been at his place the night before.

everyone in this class of all people should know it was just for the project.

he pulled his own out of his bag and typed in the password, getting right to work.

the class was quiet, no conversation between you and chan really happening other than when he cursed you out for throwing your muffin wrapper at him and as everyone was packing their things moments before the bell rang.

“my house again tonight to go over what we researched?”

you sharply inhaled, “i promised jisung and sooyeon i’d go to the basketball game with them.”

he shot you a skeptical look.

“i already told you i watch sports sometimes.”

“i’ve never seen you at a basketball game.”

“were you looking for me?” you teased.

he shook his head, “i’ve never seen you at swim meets either.”

you stood as the bell sounded, “i go to sports games, chan.”

he put his hands up in defense, “i never said you didn’t! just making observations.”

you hopped back into jisungs car after dropping your bag at your house, scolding sooyeon for stealing the shotgun seat while you were in your house.

the three of you had killed some time driving around in jisungs car and screaming the lyrics to whatever song came on, so the game was due to start in just about 40 minutes. you waited patiently in the like to get tickets, joking around with sooyeon and jisung to pass the time.

your turn came to purchase tickets.

“$5 a person, please.” the lady handing out tickets smiled sweetly. you assumed she was one of the players mothers.

sooyeon and jisung handed her their money as you checked your pockets for your wallet. where the fuck was it?

“y/n?” jisung questioned.

“i think i left my wallet at my house.” you said.

“i only brought enough for me.” sooyeon chimed in.

“me too.” jisung seconded.

you were getting ready to tell them to enjoy the game without you and tell minho you were sorry you couldn’t make it, that you’d just go home, when someone reached their arm around you, handing a $10 bill to the ticket lady.

“for her and me.”

you knew that voice.

“i don’t want your fucking money, chan.”

he raised an eyebrow, “sweetheart, you’ve been in my house. you know i can spare $5.”

sweetheart? where did that come from?

you huffed, allowing him to lead you out of line to give the people behind you a chance to get their tickets. sooyeon and jisung followed as you stepped into the gym and scanned the bleachers for seats.

“you actually came.” chan started again, “i thought you were just using it as an excuse not to hang out with me.”

“it’s not hanging out, it’s for school.”

“you’re saying you didn’t enjoy the diner yesterday, then?”

you gave him a light shove towards where you noticed hyunjin and felix sat down, “shut up.”

your friends followed you as you made your way up the bleachers and to the highest point, just a few feet from where chan was sat, sitting down in a big opening.

“excuse me,” jisung began, “what diner?”

you shrugged, “we got food after working for a bit, it’s not a big deal.”

“like a date?”

you slapped jisungs arm harder than you probably needed to.

“it was not a date.”

“did he pay?”

“yeah?”

he turned to sooyeon, lowering his voice, “it was totally a date.”

you shoved him again, “jisung, it was not a date!”

your eyes glanced towards where chan was sitting, surprised to see him already looking at you with a smile on his face.

oh my god, he heard them teasing you about him.

your immediate reaction was to flip chan off, which just made him laugh and turn back to his friends.

“you absolute cock,” you lowered your voice at jisung, “he heard you call it a date.”

he shrugged, “yeah, and he smiled about it.”

you ignored him, turning to face the court where the game would be starting soon.

“i’m just saying,” jisung continued, “would it really be that bad if you liked him?”

you didn’t answer him, keeping your eyes trained to the court and pursing your lips together in annoyance.

you didn’t notice that chan had overhead what jisung asked, something in his stomach dropping when he saw your negative reaction to the question.

he returned his focus to his friends, joining in on whatever conversation felix and hyunjin were on about. he tried to focus on them, but he couldn’t keep you off his mind, stealing glances at you every few minutes and hoping that maybe you’d be looking back.

he’d honestly hoped you’d sit with him during the game. there was enough room where he was seated for you and your friends to join, he didn’t get why you had to sit somewhere else. was he really that unbearable?

the game was just a minute away from halftime, the scores tied. you and everyone else in the crowd were on their feet, cheering on their respective teams.

you weren’t the biggest when it came to school spirit, but you were friends with a couple of the players. lee minho was someone you’d known for a long time, he’s actually the one who introduced you and jisung. you didn’t know whether to slap him or thank him for bringing the boy into your life, but either way, you always loved seeing the smile on his face when his team won.

minho had the ball in his control with the seconds ticking away at the timer. he passed it to someone else on his team, moving a few feet before they passed it right back to him. he was lined up perfectly for a three point shot.

you glanced at the scoreboard. 10 seconds until halftime.

he lined himself up to shoot and you cheered him on.

“you got it, min!!”

he released the ball from his hands and it went smoothly through the net just as the buzzer sounded, pausing the game with your team 3 points ahead.

although the gym may have been too loud for minho to have clearly heard what you said, chan heard it loud and clear.

min? you must be pretty close with him to call him that nickname, right? but chan had never heard you mention being close with lee minho before, so it couldn’t be anything serious. of course, he thought, with a twinge in his heart, you probably wouldn’t tell him if there was anything going on. as you’d made very clear the day before, you were not friends with him.

he watched as you rose from your seat and called to minho, stopping him from following the rest of his team to the locker room for a break before the second half.

he turned towards your voice, smiling when he noticed it was you. jisung and sooyeon followed you as you made your way across the gym and to him.

chan couldn’t hear what was being said from the other side of the gym, but he could see the way minho smiled down at you and wrapped you in his arms. he could see how you didn’t even complain about being pulled into the sweaty hug. if chan dared to hug you in that state, you’d probably kill him right then and there. on second thought, if he hugged you at all you would probably snap his neck.

without really thinking, he stood up and told hyunjin and felix he would be back soon. they exchanged a knowing glance as he crossed the gym to you, locking eyes with minho as he called your name.

he noted minhos arm hung loosely around your shoulders.

“i’m getting concessions. come with?”

minho raised his eyebrows at you, as if to ask “since when were you and chan close?”

“i don’t have money, chan, you know that.” you deadpanned.

“i know.” he rolled his eyes, “i’m buying.”

you were about to tell him to go on his own when minho spoke up, turning his face to you with his arm still around your shoulders.

“you go ahead, i should probably join my team.” he removed his arm from you, heading the direction of the locker rooms, “talk more after the game?”

“only if you win.” you teased.

“guess i got something to win for then.” he laughed, turning his back to the four of you.

chan unconsciously clenched his jaw at the interaction, motioning for you to follow him.

“you, too.” he pointed to jisung and sooyeon, “i’ll buy.”

jisung, never one to turn down free food, agreed immediately. you sent a glare in his direction, for all of the complaining you did about him, jisung seemed pretty pro-chan.

while waiting in line, jisung decided to start conversation.

“you’re actually kinda chill, y/n always makes you out to be an asshole.”

you hit jisung and chan let out a small laugh, one that could have easily been taken as amused if you didn’t see the hint of sadness lacing it.

“i can seem that way if you don’t know me.” he glanced at you before returning his eyes to jisung, “she’s getting to know me, though, so hopefully that changes.”

jisung nodded, motioning chan forward where it was your turn to order.

chan politely asked for just a sofa before stepping aside slightly to let you three order.

in natural jisung fashion, he ordered a soda and two pizza slices. sooyeon stuck with just a soda, and you got a soda and a small pack of m&ms.

chan payed for all of you before stepping out of line and sliding his wallet back into his pocket.

you all thanked him for paying as you headed back to the gym.

when you entered, he made his way back to his spot beside hyunjin, glancing back to see if you would follow. to his slight surprise, you did. you placed yourself on the bench next to him, jisung and sooyeon following suit.

his plan had worked, you had just sat down beside him willingly.

felix greeted you with a small wave, introducing himself to your friends. hyunjin did the same before a sly grin crossed his features as he pat his lap.

“i have a better seat for you, y/n.”

you reached across chan to playfully hit hyunjin, telling him to stop being a pervert, but neither he nor chan missed the blush on your cheeks at the comment.

you chatted a bit as a group before the alarm sounded, indicating that the game would be starting up again.

chan smiled in amusement at how into the game you got. he’d notice when you were sat a couple seats away from him, but he noticed it even more so now. he really had been wrong about you not caring about sports.

he watched as you clenched your fists every time the ball got stolen from someone on your team and cussed out the opposing teams members when they shoved one of your boys.

he chuckled as the same thing happened but with someone from your team shoving a boy from the opposing one, but you did not have the same sympathy when one of their teammates fell.

“get up, you’re fine!” you called, eyes following the ball.

you cheered whenever anyone from your team had the ball or scored, but you seemed to cheer a little harder every time it was minho in question. it made sense, you were friends, but chan couldn’t shake the frustrated feeling in his stomach every time you called minho's name.

by the time the game only had a few minutes left, the home team, your team, was up by enough points that it would take a real comeback for the other team to win.

they knew they had the game in the bag, swapping their normal varsity players like minho out with people who didn’t tend to get as much varsity playing time.

chan half expected you to lose interest in the game now that minho wasn’t on the court, but you remained just as invested as before, cheering on the younger players.

unsurprisingly, when the buzzer sounded, you were up by quite a few points. the whole of your schools team jumped up, congratulating each other on their win.

as everyone in the crowd rose and made their way out of the gym to head home, you stood, but remained in the gym.

after sitting with chan, felix, and hyunjin for the past half an hour, it didn’t strike you as odd when they stayed behind with you, sooyeon, and jisung as you waited for minho to shower off and meet you.

“y/n, chan,” felix singled you two out, “how’s that debate coming? pretty sure me and seungmin got this one in the bag.”

you stepped up a level on the bleachers to face felix, motioning between you and chan.

“we’re pretty confident.”

chan laughed, “are we?”

you shot him a glare for breaking your ruse, a laugh erupting from his throat. you took a small step to readjust your position, but your foot slipped off of the edge of the bleacher, causing you to lose balance. as you fell backwards, chan reacted quickly, wrapping his arm around your waist and planting his foot on the bleacher you’d slipped on to secure the both of you from falling.

you’d mentally prepared yourself for the impact, letting out a soft sound of surprise when it never came. chan helped you balance again and loosened his grip on you, keeping one hand on your waist as the other flew up to push your hair out of your face.

“you alright?”

you nodded, violently aware of his hands on your body but not really thinking anything of the interaction until you heard felix and jisung let out snickers.

you brushed chans hands off of you, “what?”

“oh, nothing.” jisung said.

just then, you heard the door to the locker room open and minho stepped out into the gym, changed out of his basketball attire and into some comfy sweatpants and a plain white shirt.

you hopped off the bleachers to go meet him, chan following immediately beside you.

you missed felix and jisungs snickers behind you, “he’s so whipped.”

minho glanced between you and chan again as you approached him. seriously, when did this happen? the last time he’d heard, you had nothing but dislike for him.

he nodded his head to address you, “dinner and ice cream?” he directed the question towards you, jisung, and sooyeon, turning to the others as an afterthought.

“you guys are welcome too.”

you smiled and accepted his offer, trying not to show that you really wished he hadn’t invited the other three. more specifically, chan. you still did not like him, you told yourself.

the more those words passed through your mind, the less truth you felt behind them and the more it felt like an empty phrase.

“where to?” jisung questioned as you all headed for the door to the parking lot.

“that diner a couple blocks away?” hyunjin suggested.

chan shook his head, “me and y/n just went there yesterday.”

you shrugged, “i’m fine with going again if you are.”

chan shrugged back, “it’s decided, then.”

you rode with sooyeon in jisungs car, you didn’t know exactly how the others pooled other than chan was driving, you recognized his car behind jisungs.

jisung parked the car and you stepped out, waiting for the others to arrive and join you before entering the small place.

when you did, you were greeted by the same woman who had served you and chan the night before. she looked between the two of you.

“back again? weren’t you just here last night on a little date?”

your face flushed red and you glanced at chan, his was bright red as well.

he started to politely deny but you broke in, “that was not a date.

she shrugged with a teasing smile, “you sure acted like it was.”

your mouth fell agape as you let her lead you to a table big enough to fit all of you, “no one tip her.” you joked, eliciting another laugh from her.

chan was surprised you’d been so calm about denying it, honestly. he’d expected a huge show, you making a point to make sure everyone in the restaurant knew you were not dating him.

he sat down and you,once again to his surprise, slipped in right beside him.

he frowned, it was like you said one thing but acted out another. you always made a point verbally to tell him and everyone else around you weren’t close but then you did things like that, deliberately choosing to sit next to him when you could have easily waited and positioned yourself between sooyeon and jisung or minho.

minho slid in next to you, jisung and sooyeon after him. felix and hyunjin sat on the other end of chan.

you opened your menu even though you were probably going to order the same thing you always did and a red flag shot off in your mind as your eyes locked with the prices. you’d forgotten you didn’t bring your wallet. you looked at your two friends, either they hadn’t realized their issue yet or just assumed someone else would pay for them.

you folded the menu back up and set it in front of you.

chan raised his eyebrows, “already decided?”

you nodded before softly speaking, “i’m not hungry.”

he frowned, “wanna just get a milkshake or something?”

you shook your head, playing with your hands in your lap.

he nudged you with his shoulder, “hey, my treat. get whatever you want.”

you looked at him with wide eyes, “you’ve already spent so much on me today.”

he waved you off, “$10 is not a lot, sweetheart. plus, i remembered you didn’t have your wallet when i agreed to come. i intended on paying for you anyway.”

you nodded, face flushing at his comment.

you’d be blushing if anyone called you by that nickname, you told yourself.

you made no move to grab the menu again, you would just opt for your usual.

the waitress arrived and took everyone’s order one by one. you decided to get another strawberry shake. after having the one yesterday, you remembered how good they were.

a few minutes later everyone’s drinks arrived, the waitress stating that the food would be done shortly. you took a sip from your milkshake before glancing over at chan.

“does the offer still stand from yesterday?”

he frowned and you gestured to the milkshake, indicating you wanted a sip.

he nodded, pushing it in your direction. you took a drink of the chocolate milkshake and then frowned a little, taking a sip of your strawberry one before tasting the chocolate again.

chan laughed, “what are you doing?”

“deciding which one i like more.”

he chuckled, reaching for your shake and doing the same.

“i think they’re pretty equal. both good in different ways.”

you agreed, saying they both had their own charms.

the waitress finally brought the food out and you had to bite back a remark as she set the ranch down on chans plate again. he noticed the look on your face as you eyed the sauce.

“are you going to fight me about my ranch again?”

you were going to reply, but minho cut in.

“i’m sorry y/n, do you have a problem with ranch?”

you looked between the two, “yes, actually, i do. who the hell eats it with chicken?”

the rest of the table caught wind of the conversation and joined in.

felix pointed at your plate, “barbecue all the way.”

jisung and hyunjin agreed, sooyeon stating that she liked both.

“okay,” jisung prompted, “but which ones better?”

“i swear to god if you say ranch we’re replacing you with felix.”

hyunjin pouted in faux hurt, “why not me?”

you shrugged, “or maybe hyunjin, i don’t know yet. we’ll hold a challenge to decide.”

she laughed, “not necessary, i’ll keep my spot. i gotta say barbecue over ranch.”

minho and chan groaned, they were heavily outnumbered.

“her opinion doesn’t count,” chan grumbled, “she’s not even eating chicken right now.”

you laughed and for a moment chan thought he was in a dream. the way your lips curled into a smile and your eyes shined while you laughed made his stomach do flips, the fact that he was the one causing your laughter just making it all the much better.

the meal was pleasant, fun and casual conversation flowing between everyone as you ate. the time to pay came and the waitress approached the table again, gathering the empty plates and glasses.

“how should i split the bill?”

chan spoke up first, gesturing between you and him.

“we’re together.”

felix scanned the table, “anyone need someone to cover them?”

both jisung and sooyeon timidly raised their hands, felix telling the waitress to but then on his tab. hyunjin and minho both payed their own.

as you all got out of your seats and headed for the door, jisung spoke to you.

“y/n, we should hang out with your rich friends more.”

chan heard the words leave jisungs mouth and prepared himself for your reply, but you didn’t say anything along the lines of what he’d expected. you would have. in fact, the words were just at the tip of your tongue.

“they’re not my friends, jisung.”

but as they almost left your lips, they didn’t taste right.

instead, you gave a small laugh, “or you could get a job and use your own money.”

“nah,” he waved a hand in dismissal, “who would drive you around then?”

you waved everyone goodbye as you hopped into the back of jisungs car, letting sooyeon take the front seat because you knew you’d be getting dropped off first anyway.

a week went by and it was finally time for the debates to start. each debate would take an entire class period, so you and chan didn’t have to go until the thursday of the week. you ate your muffin as quickly as you could, silently pouting to yourself that you would have to throw your own wrapper away today without even having thrown it as chan. what a waste.

you’d dressed up a little bit more than normal being that you knew it impacted your grade. you stood at the front of the room with felix and seungmin waiting for chan to arrive so you could begin.

he and hyunjin entered the room seconds before the bell rang, chan not even bothering to go to his seat to put his bag down, just laying it near the door.

you let out a small laugh at the way you, seungmin, and felix were dressed so much nicer than normal, but chan looked just as he did every day.

“you look nice.” was the first thing chan said to you.

you thanked him just as the teacher introduced who would be debating and where each team stood on the topic.

you and chan were set to give the first opening statement, which you’d both agreed you would say. but as the teacher gave the good to go, you found the words stuck in your throat.

chan noticed your nervousness, gently placing a hand on the small of your back and rubbing soothing circles with his finger.

if you’d been told a few weeks ago that chans hand on you like that would calm your nerves, you would have punched whoever said it in the face.

but now, as you focused on the way his hand felt against your back through the thin fabric of your outfit, you felt the anxiety lessen slightly. it was still there obviously, but you were able to get the words past your lips with a tone that made it sound like you were confident.

chans hand remained on your back until the opposite team's opening statement was completed and it was his turn to speak, getting into your first argument.

he’d taken a chance by touching you, but now he was glad he had. regardless of what you said, the way you reacted to his touch proved to him that you didn’t hate him. at least not as much as you claimed to.

the debate was rounded off and there were still a few minutes left of class. there would be no actual decided winner, just a grade to mark how well your teacher deemed your performance.

still, that didn’t stop you from arguing with felix that you’d obviously beat him and seungmin.

“we demolished you, lix.”

“you so did not,” he laughed back, “we actually had to go easy on your guys because we felt bad.”

the four of you argued playfully until the bell rang, releasing you to your next class. chan stopped you just outside the door.

“hey, y/n?”

you turned to him, humming to acknowledge you’d heard him.

“i’ve got a meet tonight, do you wanna come?”

you were taken aback by the question.

“oh, um, where is it?”

“it’s home,” he replied, “just a couple hours after school gets over, so you could probably just wait here if you wanted, we’re not really going to be practicing anyway.”

“i’d have to see if jisung can give me a ride to my house so i can pick up my wallet...”

“no need!” he said, reaching into his pocket and pulling out a small card, “use this.”

you frowned slightly at the piece of plastic, it was his fan pass, a free ticket for one person of each swim team members choice to get into every meet for free. each person only got one a season for the sake of still gaining profit, and chan was giving his to you?

you hesitantly took it from his hand, sliding it into your own pocket.

“are you sure?”

“yeah!” he beamed, “you’re the only one i could really think of who i’d want to have it.”

you felt your heart swell at his words, watching as he turned from you and headed to his next class.

you couldn’t fight the stupid grin from climbing onto your face and the giddy feeling in your stomach. chan wanted you at his games, more than anyone else. enough to give you his fan pass to make it easier for you to afford to come.

your heart did a summersault before dropping in realization.

you had been so focused on making sure you didn’t have any platonic feelings for him that you’d completely ignored the possibility of a different kind of feeling.

you had fallen for bang chan.

you didn’t mention your realization to anyone, not even jisung or sooyeon. the only mention of going to the swim meet was when you asked them if they wanted to go with you. sooyeon had to go to work, but jisung said he’d try to make it, letting you know minho would be there even if he himself couldn’t go.

they all went home to drop their stuff off before the meet, but you denied jisungs offer to give you a ride home. instead, you headed to where you the boys would be, as chan put it, not really practicing.

you entered the pool room and saw that he was not joking around, they really weren’t practicing. they weren’t even in swim gear, all just sitting in a circle on the concrete next to the pool and chatting. you noticed a pile of backpacks near the door and you added yours to it before stepping in further.

you weren’t sure whether to approach them or not, they didn’t seem to be doing anything serious, would it be okay for you to join them?

as if reading your mind, chan called you over to sit beside him, sliding closer to one of his teammates you didn’t know the name of to make room for you.

“who’s this?” one of his teammates asked with a curious smile.

“his girlfriend.” hyunjin piped up, earning a chorus of cheers from the rest of the teams. your face flushed red and chan waved his arms to calm everyone down, “y/n is not my girlfriend.”

you swallowed thickly, just a week ago you would have jumped to agree with those words, but now they made your stomach hurt. when did this change even happen? you couldn’t pinpoint it.

he noticed your discomfort, placing a hand on your knee to calm you down, hoping you would have the same positive reaction to his touch that you had that morning.

noticing the action, one of his teammates spoke up.

“not your girlfriend my ass.”

instead of responding to his teammate, chan directed his attention towards you.

“the meet starts in about two hours. i’ve gotta go in one to get ready, do you have someone to wait with you so you’re not alone?

you nodded, “i know minho is for sure coming, jisung might too.”

he wasn’t particularly fond of the idea of minho coming, but at least he knew you wouldn’t be sitting alone.

you thought it would be awkward sitting with chans swim team for an hour, especially considering how much they’d already teased you, but it was actually pleasant.

the group of you talked about random stuff, laughing and joking around. you’d even learned some of their names. jeongin and changbin were the two you spoke to most, aside from chan and hyunjin.

the time came when they had to go prepare for the meet and get changed and you waved them all goodbye, pulling out your phone to text minho and ask if he’d gotten to the school yet.

he responded almost immediately that he had just parked and would be in in a few minutes. you walked out to greet him by the ticket booth where there was already a line forming.

you slipped into line beside him and started casual conversation.

“do you come to sports stuff alone a lot?” you asked, referring to the fact that if you hadn’t been asked to come he would have been sitting alone.

he shrugged, “i guess. you don’t need someone with you to enjoy a sport.” he send a wink your way as he lightly pushed you with his shoulder, “everything is more fun with you, though.”

you laughed, stepping ahead to show the woman taking money the pass chan had given you. before you could get it out of your pocket, minho was thrusting a $10 bill to the ticket taker.

you stopped him, pulling the card from your pocket and showing it to both him and the ticket taker.

“i’ve got this, you don’t need to pay for me.”

he furrowed his brows in confusion, “chan gave you his fan pass?”

you nodded, a blush forming on your cheeks.

he nodded, swapping the $10 for a $5 bill to avoid getting unnecessary change.

you walked into the room and caught sight of your backpack. it was alone on the floor now, all of the boys had taken theirs with them when they went to get changed. you moved to pick it up, pausing when you noticed a sticky note on top of it.

paper clipped under the note was a small amount of cash, and scribbled across the piece of paper was a small note. you knew the handwriting right away, you’d been forced into too many ethics projects with chan not to recognize his handwriting by now.

“forgot to give you this! for if you get hungry :)”

you didn’t notice the smile on your face until minho commented on it.

“what, he’s your sugar daddy now?”

you shoved him lightly, laughing at his joke.

you swung the bag over your shoulder and pocketed the money along with the note (it was cute, you wanted to keep it).

being there so early, it was quite easy to find a good spot. chan had told you which lanes and pools he’d be racing in so you knew where to sit to be able to see him, too.

deciding to finally ask what changed between you two, minho spoke up.

“didn’t you hate him like less than a month ago? and now you have his fan pass?”

you shrugged, “he got less annoying. started acting like a normal person instead of an asshole.”

minho frowned, “he seems the same to me.”

you shrugged, “he probably acts different around different people.”

“so,” he continued, “are you two like...”

you shook your head as your face flushed pink.

“no, no. he just didn’t have anyone else to give the pass to.”

minho raised his eyebrows but hummed and accepted your answer anyway.

you hadn’t noticed time ticking by and the area growing more crowded as you talked until a man stood on a high platform near the center pool with a microphone in his hand began to speak, welcoming everyone to the meet.

the races began and chan wasn’t in any of the starting line ups, but hyunjin was. being the only other person you really knew, you focused on him.

watching swim was different than watching a lot of other sports, but you enjoyed it anyway. there was no fighting for a ball or scoring goals, no ball to follow, but it was just as entertaining to watch the way the water worked with every swimmer.

you were still amazed with hyunjin’s movements. you weren’t surprised in the slightest when his race ended with him being the first to complete the set.

as much as you found hyunjin interesting to watch, you couldn’t help but be happy as the first round ended and the second began, the first chan would be competing in.

you watched as he stepped out to the edge of the pool, scanning the crowd for you. he smiled and sent a small wave in your direction before getting into position to dive.

you ended up not using any of the money chan had given you for drinks and snacks, not even when minho got up to go get some food of his own. you stayed planted in your seat the whole time matches were occurring, always either trained on hyunjin or chan. there were the occasional time that neither of them were racing in any of the pools, but it wasn’t often and rounds were never long enough for you to leave without missing anything.

at the end of the night, the added up scores were close, but chan’s team had won. you weren’t as caught up on the scoring system of swimming as you were of other sports, but you didn’t need to know. the announcer let out the final scores of each team, your schools team coming out on top.

people stood and began to leave as the swimmers began towards the locker rooms and the team managers started cleaning up the pool area and covering the pools again.

chan waited for you before leaving to change, allowing you to congratulate him on the win.

minho said a quick goodbye, stating he had to get home and do some work before it got too late, leaving you and chan alone.

before really realizing what you were doing, you wrapped your arms around chan and held him in a tight hug. he faltered for a moment before wrapping his arms securely around you, holding you close to him. you moved to pull away, but he kept you locked in his arms.

“chan, let me go! you’re still soaked!”

“you hugged me first, you asked for this!”

your hands found his chest as you planted your palms there and pushed him away from you, suddenly very aware of the way his bare chest felt under your hands.

you retracted your hands from his body, wiping them on your pants to dry them off.

ignoring your thudding heart, you spoke.

“now i smell like chlorine.”

a sly smile spread across his face, “no, now you smell like me.”

you blushed and he took a step closer to you, closing the distance between the two of you and holding your elbows as he kept you close to him.

“thank you for coming.”

you smiled up at him and teased, “i only came because you asked me to. i really hated it.”

he gasped in faux hurt, “you mean to say you didn’t enjoy watching me shirtless for three hours?”

you shook your head, “hyunjin looked pretty good though.”

he chuckled and you felt his grip on your arms loosen as he moved one of his hands to your face, cupping your cheek.

the next thing you knew his lips were on yours and for some reason, that didn’t upset you in the slightest. you kissed him back, his lips were so soft for someone who spent half of their time in chlorine soaked water.

he pulled away and scanned your face for any sign of discomfort, a big smile covering his face when he found none.

“i’m not going to lie,” he chuckled, “i kind of thought you’d punch me when i did that.”

you laughed, raising your eyebrows, “i still have time to.”

he removed his hands from you and held them up in defense, taking a step back from you. you laughed even more at his reaction, surprising the both of you and closing the gap, hands going to his neck as you pulled him down into another kiss.

the moment was cut short as the locker room flew open and hyunjin stepped out, pausing in the door when he saw the scene taking place in front of him.

a smile crept onto his features and he spoke with a teasing tone, “i thought she wasn’t your girlfriend.”

you both laughed softly before chan responded, “she wasn’t.”

“is she now?” hyunjin prompted.

chan looked at you with his brows raised as if to ask “i don’t know, are you?”

ignoring the furious blush across your cheeks, you replied, “i mean, yeah.”

hyunjin clapped just hands loudly, “fucking finally.”

“language, hwang!” the coach called from across the large room.

“my bad,” he yelled back before directing his words towards chan, “you should get changed.”

chan nodded, sending one last smile in your direction before walking into the locker room and leaving you and hyunjin.

“when you realize i’m way hotter than chan, give me a call.” he sent a teasing wink in your direction and you laughed as he left the room, leaving you alone.

you waited patiently for chan to come back from the locker room, scrolling through your phone. you debated texting your friends the new update, but you figured you’d just tell them the next day.

despite being the last to go into the locker room, chan was not the last out. he came back to you just a few minutes after leaving.

he held his keys up, signaling it was time to go. you followed him to his car, letting him pull open the door for you. you slipped in as quickly as possible, slamming the door shut behind you and pressing the button to lock the doors.

chan sent a small glare in your direction, but you could see the smile threatening to poke through.

he held up his key fob, clicking his own button to unlock the doors. he made a move to open the drivers side door and pulled on the handle just as you clicked the lock again. you repeated this a few times before letting out a loud laugh and finally allowing him to get into his car, tossing his things into the back seat.

“we’ve literally been dating for less than an hour and you’re already terrorizing me.” he grumbled.

he paused for a moment before continuing, “straight home or are you hungry?”

you shrugged, “whatever you want.”

he nodded, pulling the car out of the parking spot, “food it is.”

he didn’t bother to ask what restaurant you wanted, heading to the same little diner a few blocks away he’d taken you to before.

you laughed as you entered the diner to see the same waitress that had served you the last two times you were there.

“do you ever go home?”

she laughed, “do you two ever eat anywhere other than here?”

“touché.”

you chose your spot before ordering almost immediately, you’d learned that chan also tended to stick with the same choice every time.

“hey,” chan called to the waitress before she could walk away, “guess what?”

“what, dear?”

chan reached across the table and grabbed your hand, “it’s an official date this time.”

she broke into a big smile, “i knew it was only a matter of time.”

you sat down at your spot the next morning with a pout on your face. for the first time in about a month, there was no muffin on your spot.

it wasn’t like whoever put them there was obligated to give you one every morning, but you’d gotten so used to it.

you looked ahead at who would be debating today, you couldn’t recall any of their names.

chan walked through the door earlier than normal due to the fact that there hadn’t been practice that morning because of the meet the night before. you smiled at him as he approached your table, but the smile dropped into a look of confusion as he placed a muffin ahead of you before slipping behind you.

he sat down, “morning, baby.”

when you didn’t respond, a concerned look crossed his features.

“what’s wrong?”

you held up the muffin, “you’ve been giving me these?”

he shrugged, “yeah. i remembered you saying you didn’t always get breakfast.”

as he smiled at you something clicked in your brain.

minhos words from the night before repeated themselves in your head.

“he seems the same to me.”

that’s because he was the same. that was it, he hadn’t changed. he never stopped being an asshole, he just never was one in the first place. he wasn’t ever a prick, you just had your heart set so strongly on hating him that you saw everything he did in the worst way possible. the things he used to do that annoyed you were now things you grew fond of. the way he bumped your chair sometimes in the morning used to make you livid, but now it brought a smile to your face. you used to want to rip his head off when he hummed while working, but you adored the sound now, even going so far as to not put in headphones so you could hear him. he was the same boy he’d always been.

he didn’t change, the way you saw him did.

but just as quickly as these became things you loved about him, they fell right back into being annoying habits.

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tomtenadia · 3 years

Text

Fire in her veins - a Island Dreams AU oneshot

So, yesterday Island Dream reached the amazing milestone of 5k hits on AO3. For me, it means the world especially because ID has a special place in my heart. It was my first long Rowaelin, set in a place that I adore. It’s more than just a story. It’s set in a part of Scotland that has completely stolen my heart.

So, to celebrate I asked for prompts and @whimsicallyreading gave me a brilliant one.

“Aelin accidentally distracts Rowan and their stove catches on fire 🥰 would be funny to see the ID crew interact with a Fire Department 🤣”

inspiration hit in an instant. This fic is set about three years after the epilogue. The twins are 7 and Dalamar is 4. The story has a very Freyja-centred ending, mostly because she is my favourite. She is wild and fierce like her mother and she is funny. (Don’t get me wrong I adore Morrigan and Dalamar too. They are calmer and adorable in their own way.)

If you are new to Island Dream you can find it HERE

Well, without much further ado I will leave you to the story.

Rowan had a busy day at work. The bookshop had become very popular in town and business was good especially since Aelin had convinced him a while before to set up an internet page and an online ordering system. It had taken a while to really kick in but now he was basically serving the whole of the Hebrides and he had started getting orders as well from some remote location on the western highlands. Aelin had been right. She was the one who had started his Facebook page after all. He hated the whole thing - he had even deleted the profile he had created for fun, but he could not deny that it was handy for business. He had started promoting his events, he had hosted some indie authors and also had started a reading club at the weekend. He was proud of the job he had done. And now, with his aunt he was working on another stage. Her cafe had been shut for a few months after the last bad storm and flooding had caused some heavy damage. So when the bill for repairs had come Maeve knew it was too much and had decided to close to the dismay of the locals who loved her cakes and food. But Rowan had come up with a plan. The unit next to his shop had been vacant for a while so, he offered his aunt a deal. She could reopen her cafe inside his bookshop and they could merge the two units together. It had taken some convincing but in the end Maeve had accepted and the works had officially started.

Life was busy but he had never been happier. The twins were seven and were in P2 and Rowan could not believe how quickly they were growing up. Freyja was still as wild and school had been a challenge. She hated being forced to sit at a desk. Hated the uniform. Hated school, but apart from her rebel attitude, the teachers kept telling them that she was a bright pupil and both Rowan and Aelin relaxed. Morrigan, on the other hand was the opposite of her twin. She adored school and was still the quiet one in the family. Dalamar was still at nursery and was meant to start school the following year.

On that day Evalin had picked up the kids and brought them to the shop, something they adored. Then Rowan had taken them to swimming practice. He had kept his part time job as swimming instructor and the kids had followed in his footsteps. The twins being older were taking proper swimming classes while Dalamar just joined the club for the wee ones and splashed happily in the water while his sisters learnt to swim. When Aelin was not busy at the hospital she would accompany them and play with Dalamar.

Usually the swimming classes were enough to exhaust his kids that he could cook in peace while waiting for Aelin to get back. That evening she had texted him that they had a last minute emergency and was running late.

He tried for the umpteenth time to concentrate on a recipe for the evening when Freyja barged in the kitchen running followed by her brother and screaming that a dragon was chasing her.

Rowan grabbed his daughter and lifted her in his arms burying his face in her belly causing the girl to laugh hard “dad, the dragon” and wiggled in her father’s arms to get free but Rowan did not let go. He just walked to Dalamar and offered him his free arm “hop on, oh mighty dragon.” The boy grabbed his father’s forearm swinging like a monkey and Rowan walked into the living room, his daughter under one arms and his son swinging from the other like a jungle creature.

Morrigan joined the chaos a moment later. Rowan kneeled and she climbed on his back.

In that moment he heard the door of the house open and an instant later Aelin waltzed in the living room and saw her husband completely overwhelmed by their children. She laughed at the scene “what is happening in here?” Her hands on the hips.

“A dragon is following me.” Shouted Freyja, with still too much energy in her.

“I am not a dragon, I am a monkey.” Replied Dalamar, swinging a bit more from Rowan’s arm.

“And what are you doing, Morrigan?”

“The dragon has burned the floor.”

Rowan moved to the sofa and started to deposit the kids down “come on, let dad cook dinner. And don’t shout too much, mum is tired.”

The kids slowly climbed down their father and went to greet Aelin who hugged them all “did you all had a nice day? Did you go swimming tonight?”

“Yes.” The two girls shouted “Dad taught us how to jump in head first.”

Rowan roared with laughter “and they still are two clumsy little terrors who smash their bellies.”

“Be careful with that.” Said Aelin in full doctor mode “that type of jump is very risky, they can snap their neck if do not enter correctly.”

Rowan took a step towards his wife and wrapped his arms around her “I know. I would never put our daughters in danger.”

“Good,” she gave him a chaste kiss “now let mum take a shower and dad cook?”

“Tha.” Replied the three kids in unison.

The kids climbed back on the carpet Dalamar going back to his bricks, Morrigan to her colouring book and Freyja just kept swinging her plastic sword fighting some imaginary monster. While Aelin disappeared in the bathroom, Rowan finally managed to get back to the kitchen and think about dinner. It was getting late for the kids and he knew they would soon start to become agitated again and start bellowing for food. He grabbed a towel and threw it on his shoulder and then started preparing the ingredients. He was preparing veggie burgers made out of cous cous and chickpeas. The kids loved them. He was the one who cooked the most in the house since his hours were far more reliable and he had been doing his best to cook healthy meals, to Aelin displeasure as she complained that there were always far to many vegetables in his dishes. But she was okay with the kids following a healthy diet. Morrigan was pescatarian. The girl could not stand eating meat and last time Rowan had tried to give her beef or chicken, the poor girl had been sick all night. Whereas fish, she loved it and she was a happy veggie eater like her father. Dalamar would occasionally eat meat but with very little enthusiasms whereas Freyja was just like her mother. She would eat anything on her plate.

He was busy preparing the patties when he felt Aelin’s hand around his waist and a gentle kiss on his back.

“How the shift at the hospital?” He asked while finishing the patties and heating up the oil in the pan.

“Long.” She sighed against his chest “your dear wife might need some adult cuddling tonight.”

Rowan laughed and turned in her arms, throwing his towel on the counter. A deep kiss that, after seven years of marriage still made her toes curl. Aelin’s hands linked behind his neck and Rowan pushed her against the island and Aelin moaned in appreciation.

Until all hell broke loose.

The smoke alarm pierced the quiet of the room with its grating sound and when Aelin opened her eyes again she saw a quickly spreading fire behind Rowan.

“Rowan!” She shouted.

He turned quickly and looked for something to stop the fire but he was paralysed and he knew enough that water was not an option.

Aelin was already on the phone with the emergency services while Rowan grabbed another towel and tried to smother the fire with the only result of burning his hand.

“Ro, fire department is on its way.” She took his hand “a bad first degree burn.”

He was about to go and put it under the sink but Aelin stopped him.

At the deafening sound, the kids burst in the kitchen but Aelin pushed them away, taking Rowan with her “Come on kids let’s go back to the carpet.”

Morrigan and Dalamar went in their mother arms scared by the commotion. Freyja was standing just near the sofa looking at the fire in the kitchen in a daze.

Rowan noticed her and grabbed his daughter in his arms, ignoring the searing pain in his hand “That is dangerous.”

“It’s pretty.” Said the little girl.

It wasn’t long after that the fire department arrived.

A woman with blonde hair, who was clearly in charge gave some orders and the team had the fire out in no time.

“Is anyone hurt?” Asked her, joining the family in the living room.

“My husband. First degree burn on his hand.” Replied Aelin pointing at Rowan leaning against the back of the sofa.

The woman called over the radio for a paramedic and Rowan scoffed claiming that he did not need one but at Aelin glared at him and he shut up.

And while Morrigan and Dalamar were still on the carpet quite shaken by the ordeal, Freyja was moving toward the tall woman. She reached for the hem of her bunker gear and pulled, claiming attention.

“Hello little one.” Said the woman kneeling to be at eye level with the girl “There’s no more fire. We fixed it. You don’t have to be scared.”

Freyja pouted “I was not scared.”

The woman laughed and brushed her silver hair and the girl grinned.

“Are you a fire woman?” She asked, looking at the adult in front of her with deep admiration.

In that instant another woman and a man came through and gave her a report, the woman nodded and got back to the girl in front of her “Yes, I am.”

Freyja beamed “can I be a fire woman too?”

The fire captain placed her heavy hat on the girl’s head which was gigantic on her but Freyja shouted for her parents but Aelin was busy speaking to the man and her dad was in the capable hands of a paramedic who was tending to his hand.

“You can be anything you want to be.” Said the woman softly, taking her hat back then she stood and Freyja bent her head upwards to stare at the woman while she walked to her parents.

“There is some damage and you will have to replace the stove and probably paint the wall near it.” She explained “I would suggest to have a fire blanket and a small fire extinguisher for cooking oils. They can easily be found online and they are good to have in emergencies.”

“We will. Thank you so much.”

The woman nodded and left with her team, while the paramedic was finishing fixing up Rowan’s hand “Keep it clean and change the bandage regularly. There are ointments that you can use to help the healing process. If it gets worse make sure you go to the hospital.” Rowan looked at Aelin and grinned “thank you. My wife is an A&E doctor, I am sure she will keep me right.”

“That’s why she looks familiar. Western Isles hospital, isn’t it? You are Aelin.”

“Hi Sarah.”

Once the house was quiet again Aelin relaxed for a moment and Rowan went to Morrigan and Dalamar while Freyja was still staring at the door where the fire department had left.

“What is it, my love?”

Freyja turned at her mother’s voice, her face beaming with unbridled joy. They were all shaken by the evening, but her fierce girl was actually smiling.

“That was a fire woman.”

“Yes, my darling.”

“I want to be a fire woman too.”

Aelin crouched down to meet her daughter’s eyes and brushed some hair off her face “you can be anything you want to be, mo chridhe. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise.”

Freyja hugged her mother then ran to her father, sister and brother shouting that she was going to be a fire woman.

Rowan joined Aelin a moment later and pulled her to his chest “I am sorry.”

“For what?”

“I got distracted.”

Aelin lightly punched him in the chest “I am the one who distracted you.”

He sighed “we have no dinner.”

“I’ll phone mum and ask her if we can go to her place.”

Aelin disappeared and Rowan stood in the kitchen looking at the mess. The fire had quickly spread and a part of the counter was damaged too. Everything was covered in foam and wasn’t even sure if it was safe to use the oven. The patties lay like burned blobs at the side.

Aelin came back a moment later “mum is happy to have us. She is probably making dinner already.” She tugged her husband “let’s go, buzzard. We’ll think about it tomorrow.”

Once they finished getting the kids ready they went back to their room “So, Freyja wants to be a firefighter. She was staring at the fire in marvel and was amazed at seeing the two women firefighters.”

Rowan pulled Aelin to his chest “She is fearless like you. She has fire in her. I can totally see her become a badass firefighter.”

Aelin hugged him back in silence.

“She is our wee fireheart.”

Twelve years later, when Freyja finished her training at the fire academy and was assigned at the firehouse in Stornoway Aelin and Rowan happily looked back at that night knowing that it had changed the life of their daughter and were never happier of a fire in their house.

#island dreams #rowaelin #rowaelinkids #rowan whitethorn #aelin galathynius #rowaelin fanfic #rowaelin fanfiction #domestic fluff

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mimisempai · 3 years

Text

When you kiss me, you speak to my soul

Summary:

5 times when Loki receives an unexpected kiss and once when he gives one. (or more)

______

This story inaugurates a new series.

"Together, for all time, always"

This series is my way out in case our boys don't canonically have a happy ending.Background: After the events of the TV show, all the members of the TVA are aware of their status as variants and decide to work together on a better TVA. The main team is composed of Loki, Mobius, Sylvie and Miss Minute. The rest will come as time goes by. The stories do not necessarily follow each other.

https://archiveofourown.org/works/32203465

3123 words - Rating G

"Okay Loki! You know that in order to get your time travel pass, you have to prove that you know the rules perfectly."

Loki, annoyed, rolled his eyes and sighed,

"Honestly, I'm a rehabilitated variant, god of mischief, who saved the TVA from its slavery, that pass should be granted to me without going through any fucking tests!"

Miss Minutes jumped in front of Loki and pointed her little finger in the direction of Loki's nose, "Ttttt a god don't swear! And when the new TVA administration, of which you are a part, put the rules in place, you all decided to start over. With a new, admittedly less rigid, but still regulated basis that you signed up! Come on, only two more points to validate!"

Loki grumbled, itching to send the little clock flying.

Unperturbed, Miss Minutes continued, "Tell me the basic rules of time travel? "

Loki began to recite in a bored tone, "Do not interact with yourself, do not interact with your ancestors, do not interact with historical figures. Don't interact with the big events in history even if it means not being able to save everyone. Pay attention to small details and use your time wisely.

"Perfect my little Loki!"

"Hey, a little respect Miss Mimi!"

The little clock coughed and Loki noticed a slight flush on her little cheeks.

"Well, then explain to me the three major paradoxes of time travel."

Loki, keeping the same jaded look on his face, recited again, "The Grandfather Paradox, if you go back in time to kill your grandfather, you effectively kill your father, and therefore yourself. The Predestination Paradox is simply when your past self is the very cause of your need to travel back in time. This creates an endless loop of travel, which is why it is also called a closed causal loop. Finally, the Bootstrap Paradox. It occurs when something is returned, often to the traveler himself, negating the need for its creation in the first place."

The little clock jumped all over Loki's desk, clapping!

"Yay my little Loki! You'll be allowed to get your pass validated!"

Loki, happy but irritated by the little machine, asked him, "So that means I don't need your lessons anymore, right?"

"Absolutely!"

Loki rubbed his hands together as he said, "Perfect."

He began to move his hand, thinking of a spell to cast on the annoying little clock.

A voice whispered in his ear, "Loki... what did we say about spelling those weaker than ourselves?"

Loki turned to Mobius with a pout, "but Mobiuuus, just a little spell!"

Mobius bent down and took the hand with which Loki was about to cast his spell.

He said softly, "These hands do such beautiful magic, it would be such a shame to make them cast second rate spells."

He laid a gentle kiss to the back of Loki's hand and then walked away with a quiet step.

Loki, slightly surprised, touched lightly with his other hand the place where Mobius' lips had lingered.

Then he got up quickly, knocked over his chair and ran behind him.

Miss Minute, who had witnessed the scene, raised her eyes to the sky and returned to her screen.

Mobius was waiting outside the elevator.

"Mobius!"

Mobius turned around, Loki was coming towards him with a quick step. He looked at his watch and said with a slightly reproachful tone, "You'll really have to learn to be on time!"

Loki, with a cheeky grin on his face, replied, "I find I'm making progress, yesterday I was 13 minutes late and today only 11."

Mobius rolled his eyes and was about to answer him when they were interrupted by the voiceover from the elevator.

"The elevator is momentarily out of order, please use the service stairs."

Mobius walked to the door next to the elevator and held it open, waving his hand towards Loki.

"After you."

Loki walked past him and began to descend the stairs.

Almost arriving at the bottom, Mobius, on Loki's heels, put a hand on his shoulder and turned him to face him.

"What's wrong?" Loki asked him, surprised.

"Nothing's wrong. Everything's fine," Mobius replied softly before taking his face in his hands and leaning in to kiss him.

A few moments later, they separated to catch their breath.

Loki gasped slightly, asking Mobius, "I'm not complaining, but what was that for?"

As they finished descending the stairs Mobius replied, "It was the perfect opportunity to reverse the roles, for once I was the one who had to bend over to kiss you."

Loki was still smiling as they walked through the door.

As they passed by the elevator, the door opened to reveal the other members of their team.

"Huh? Is the elevator fixed yet? We took the stairs because they reported that the elevator was momentarily out of order, like... three minutes ago."

"What? But we got on it three minutes ago, four floors higher than you."

Loki looked back at Mobius with a little doubt.

Mobius replied, "Just because you're the god of mischief, doesn't mean you're the only one who can use it."

"Argh, for crying out loud, dates, more dates, always dates!!!"

Loki rubbed his eyes trying to fight the fatigue that was overtaking him.

He stood up, took a few steps to stretch his legs before returning to his seat and continuing to flip through his files.

"Need a helping hand?"

Mobius put his hand on Loki's shoulder and gently squeezed it before sitting down across from him without waiting for an answer.

He continued, "I know this isn't your favorite part of the job, Loki, but it's part of it and I'm glad to see that despite your reluctance, you're not afraid to pitch in.

Loki grunted, "I just don't think it's fair, Sylvie never has to do this kind of work. She's always out there."

"Have you been traveling through time, through all kinds of apocalypses like her for that long?"

"Hmph!Always the voice of wisdom huh?"

Mobius snickered, "Me? No, of course not, but the wiser of the two of us, that I am."

"You prick!" muttered Loki.

"Hey, I heard that!"

They both immersed themselves in the files.

After two hours, Mobius saw Loki get up.

"I'm going to stretch my legs for two minutes."

"Okay."

Five minutes later he saw a small bowl of salad appear in front of his eyes.

Loki said to him as he sat down, "to make up for my bad mood of earlier."

Mobius put his hand on Loki's forearm, "Loki, there is nothing to forgive. You are allowed to have mood swings. I'm not asking you to be someone else. But thank you for the consideration."

He ate the salad Loki had brought him while the god got back to work.

A little later, he was disturbed in his research by a light snore, he looked up at the familiar sight of Loki asleep, his head on his crossed arms.

He had a fond smile. He knew that this kind of work must seem tedious to someone like Loki and yet, even though he grumbled and acted like a drama queen on a regular basis, it didn't stop him from working seriously.

Looking at the time, he thought they had worked enough for today.

He stood up and whispered in his partner's ear, "Loki, wake up. It's late. We're done for the day."

As Loki slowly opened his eyes, Mobius placed a kiss on the top of his head before getting up and going to put the files away.

Loki straightened up and was stretching again when Mobius returned.

"Was I dreaming or did you kiss me on the head?"

"Unfortunately my sleeping beauty's lips weren't accessible so I had to settle for kissing the top of her head to get her to wake up."

Mobius winked at her and headed for the door.

He turned and said again, "Are we going home?"

Loki, who still hadn't gotten used to the warmth these few words provoked in him, quickened his pace to join him.

When Mobius arrived at the cafeteria, he saw Loki concentrating at the dessert counter.

He joined him, placing his hand on his lower back to signal his presence.

"You look completely absorbed in the contemplation of these desserts. Do you have a favorite?"

Loki turned his head toward him and grumbled, "There's always so much to choose from. And every time there's a new kind. I don't even know what to choose. In Asgard there was fruit and... fruit."

Mobius was amused every time Loki was faced with this kind of problem. He made it an insurmountable challenge. This time, Mobius offered to help him.

"If you want we'll take several and share."

Loki nodded, " You choose, because I don't know what to take."

"Okay, go sit down, I'll pick and join you."

Mobius took a sample of several desserts, located the table Loki was sitting at and joined him.

They spent the next hour sharing the dessert plate. It was just the two of them left in the cafeteria. Loki was finishing the tiramisu while Mobius was bringing a last spoonful of chocolate mousse to his mouth.

"So, have you made your choice? What's your favorite?"

Loki licked his lips and replied, "Undoubtedly the tiramisu."

He put his spoon down and asked Mobius, "What about you?"

Mobius, who was sitting next to him, moved closer and looking at Loki's lips, murmured softly, "I'm hesitating between the chocolate mousse and the tiramisu."

He closed the distance between them and placed his lips on Loki's. Loki parted his lips and let Mobius explore his mouth with his skilled tongue. Mobius finished the fierce kiss with a light bite on Loki's lower lip, soothing him with a final lick. Then he moved back.

"I think in the end, tiramisu is my favorite."

They had just returned from the mission and were in the locker room.

Loki was putting his things away in his locker. As always after a successful mission, he was so excited that he was talking non-stop.

Replaying the events in detail, and because he was Loki, he didn't hesitate to emphasize the moments when he and Mobius had been particularly good.

The rest of the team was used to it and listened with one ear.

Mobius smiled fondly.

Continuing to babble, Loki followed the rest of the team for the post-mission debriefing.

As he walked out the door, he felt himself being pulled back. Then a hand reached into his hair and pulled out the tie that held it together.

He looked back at Mobius who was putting the rubber band in his pocket.

"Mobius?"

Mobius walked over to him.

"Why did you do that?"

Mobius replied with a mischievous smile, "Because when you have your hair tied back, I can't do that."

He raised his hand, and pushed behind Loki's ear the strands of hair that fell over Loki's face, letting his hand linger on the god's neck.

" Neither this."

With his hand on the back of Loki's neck, he ran his fingers through Loki's hair to comb it before gently grabbing it and pulling his head back slightly.

Having cleared with this gesture the throat of Loki, he deposited a rain of butterfly kisses.

Loki sighed, his lips parted, "Mobius..."

Mobius moved back again leaving his hand in Loki's hair.

"Nor this."

He raised his second hand and joined it with the first on the back of Loki's neck, tangling his fingers in the long black strands before pressing gently, forcing the god to tilt his head forward. Their lips were so close that each could feel the other's breath. Mobius pressed his lips to Loki's, his fingers clutching his hair as the god's hands found his waist.

Their kiss was long and slow, and when Mobius pulled back, nipping at Loki's bottom lip, He saw that his eyes were clouded and his mouth wide open.

"That's exactly why I like you better with your hair loose."

With a smile, he kissed Loki briefly on the cheek and headed for the locker room door, the bouncy step of one who has just won a victory, oblivious to Loki's hungry stare.

Loki had had enough.

Mobius obviously enjoyed starting fires with Loki and never extinguished them.

Loki was on edge.

Not that Loki didn't appreciate Mobius' spontaneous displays of affection and kisses, the man was extremely inventive and talented, but he felt like a ball of clay in his hands.

His pride as a god of mischief was at stake!

He had to regain the upper hand, just a little, just a few moments.

"Hoho miss Minutes, looks like someone needs to get laid!"

"Hey Syl! I'm just a pure little watch. I don't want to know anything about your sex lives!"

Sylvie sitting with her feet up on Loki's desk fluttered a paper cutter in the air and snickered back, " Which sex life Mimi?"

The watch returned to the screen and grumbled, "Never mind, Loki and Mobius's love life is none of my business! Hmph!"

Loki with his hands on his hips and a dark look in his eyes, muttered to Sylvie, "Don't you have a job to do instead of gossiping with that piece of junk clock?"

"Hey jerk! I heard you!" Shouted the little voice from the monitor.

"It's so much more interesting to watch you mope about your mustachioed prince."

Loki slumped into the other chair, a sulky look on his face.

"It's not so bad though?" asked Sylvie, studying him, her chin on her hand.

Loki told her everything, from the kiss on his hand to the fiery kiss in the locker room.

"And you dare to complain?!" Sylvie asked him, quite irritated, "You have a man who is completely devoted to you, and full of attention for you. Do you realize how lucky you are?"

"Wait, Syl! It's not that I don't like it. On the contrary, but... argh" Loki tugged at his hair, "I don't know how to say it, before, the Loki before the TVA, I've always been a hedonist who enjoys the pleasures of life, who takes and throws, but now, even though I'm still a hedonist, I don't just want to consume anymore, I want to give too. And right now I feel like I'm the only one receiving."

"Aw, you're cute you know."

"Hey! Don't make fun of me!"

"But no, well just a little bit, but really Loki, the fact that you're thinking about this, shows how much you've evolved right? Have you even tried talking to Mobius about it?"

Loki shook his head, "You know me, I often talk a lot to mask my insecurities and also because I like to listen to myself talk, but anyway what I mean is that when it's serious I'm unable to express myself properly."

"And show him?"

"How?"

Sylvie rolled her eyes, "Loki, are you the god of mischief or not? You are capable of seducing anyone! Don't embarrass me!"

A few moments later, alone in his office, he thought back to this discussion.

How could he surprise Mobius?

Mobius who knew how to read all his tricks...

Of course! The answer was obvious!

What better way than a direct approach!

He waited for the right moment and went to Mobius' office, sure to find him there.

As he walked through the door, Mobius looked up, a smile blooming on his face as he saw Loki.

"Loki!" He wanted to stand up, Loki stopped him by waving his hand. With one hand he locked the office door and with the other, using a flick of his wrist, he turned Mobius's chair around before walking towards him.

Then, without warning his lover, he straddled Mobius' lap and framed his face with his hands before throwing himself on Mobius' mouth.

Mobius pushed him back slightly and managed to articulate, panting, "Wait, wait, wait Loki! What's the matter with you? Not that I'm against it, but I'm surprised, pleasantly surprised, that you'd take the initiative like this."

Loki with his forehead and lips against Mobius' replied, equally breathless, "The problem is that my lover has been teasing me all week, kissing me everywhere and at any time, and hasn't given me a chance to return the favor, so now you shut up and let me kiss you! It's my turn!"

As Loki resumed the interrupted kiss, Mobius decided, with the last fragment of coherent thought he possessed, that all he had to do was enjoy it. He just ran his hands over Loki's hips pressing him closer until there was no more space between them.

He tried to control the kiss, but Loki would not let him, and finally, after a brief struggle, he gave in to the kiss and the shivers of pleasure that ran down his spine.

He believed to be out of air when Loki moved back slightly and fixed him, the eyes shining with satisfaction, licking his lips like a cat which had just devoured a pot of cream.

They slowly caught their breath and Mobius couldn't help but gently tuck a lock of Loki's hair back behind his ear in a gesture that was becoming more and more familiar.

Loki leaned into Mobius' hand.

"Hey Loki, more seriously," Mobius told him softly, "does it bother you that I'm acting like this? Because you know you can tell me."

Loki sighed, "It doesn't bother me per se, it's just the lack of reciprocity, the fact that I'm receiving a lot and giving nothing."

Mobius shook his head with a smile, "Sweetheart," he couldn't help but notice that Loki seemed to appreciate the endearment, "that's not how it works. When you kissed me just now, did you feel pleasure?"

Loki, indignant, protested, "Yes, of course I-"

Mobius put a finger to his lips.

"It's the same for me, you know. I am aware that in your head the gears are spinning wildly non stop, but in such cases, don't think. Just enjoy it, there's nothing selfish about it."

Loki nodded, then passionately kissed his lover once more, until they were both out of breath again.

Then Loki traced a path of kisses from Mobius' chin to his ear and nibbled on his lobe before whispering, his breath making Mobius shudder, "The rest is for later my love..."

He stood up and headed for the door while swaying his hips, fully aware of the gaze that followed him.

Then before he walked through the door, he threw over his shoulder, with a mischievous smile, "I too can light a fire and make you burn for me."

_________

Not beta'd I hope you enjoyed it 🥰

#loki #lokius fic #lokius #moki #wowki #loki x mobius #loki laufeyson #mobius m mobius #miss minutes #sylvie laufeydottir #established relationship #5+1 things

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arinbelle · 3 years

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So this is insane!!!! I literally never leave this app lol. I am also shooketh by the most popular posts I've had, and it's made me realize, I need to updae Suits like yesterday because...almost 400 notes?!?! Insane.And I will...eventually.

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Suits (Nessian AU)

Notes: Hello! This was an unexpected update. I didn’t think I’d ever finish this chapter, but lo and behold, it’s here! I don’t know much about law school and lawyer life, but I’ve been lovingly helped by @moodymelanist and @kingandfireheart and am very grateful for all of it. I’m also looking up a bunch of things and trying to stay as completely accurate as possible, but if you are a law student or lawyer and I mess something up, I’m sorry in advance. Anyways, I hope you all like this chpater. It’s not much “plot” mostly angst and vibes and setting up the background if nothing else. Let me know if you want to be added or removed from the taglist- I’m pretty sure I added everyone who asked to be added, but this was surprisingly a large taglist so if I missed anyone, please don’t hesitate to let me know. As always, I hope you enjoy and I’d love to hear about what you’re thinking when you’re done!

~*~

Chapter 2

5…4…3…2…1

Thank the Gods.

Nesta shot out of her seat as soon as the clock struck 9:30 AM. She was done. It was done. She could get the hell out of here, away from this cursed day and cursed building and cursed life and just-

“Alright everyone,” Cassian announced, glancing to the clock on his left. “That’s it for our first day. If you check your online modules, you’ll see the chapters that I’ve assigned for your reading. Be prepared for discussion next class. I’m not assigning write-ups because it’s your first week but you better not slack off on reading because of it.”

People began filing out and Nesta, bag already ready to go, also began rising, hoping to shuffle out with the tide and avoid any interaction.

“Nesta Archeron?” Cassian called out.

Nesta froze in her path while the rest of the class began leaving. She looked at him but unlike her, Cassian seemed the picture of calm, collected and utterly aloof to the disaster happening in her head. In fact, he’d been completely normal throughout the entire class period. Nesta had almost hurled up her guts when they were ten minutes in.

“Nesta? Archeron?” Cassian looked around again until finally he saw where she’d stopped. A few feet from his desk, body stll angled towards the door as more students made their way out.

“Come here please," Cassian said to her.

"Come. One more time, baby. Come for me. I know you want to," Cassian had whispered to her as he'd pushed her through climax after climax after climax, and she'd become a boneless mess on his bed.

Nesta shook her head of the image of him dipping his head over and over between her legs. She didn't need her brain doing this to her. Not right now. Not as she came to stand right in front of him.

Nesta noted quite a few students still ambling out of the room, taking their time to likely listen to whatever Cassian wanted to talk about.

Busybodies.

Cassian cast a cursory glance behind her shoulder, noting the same thing and likely thinking the same as her too.

Cassian moved then, bringing his laptop and typing something in. Without looking up at her, Cassian said, "I got an email from the registrar that there's been an issue with your scheduling in this class. Can I please have your full name and student ID?"

Nesta hesitated, not sure if he was telling the truth or using it as an excuse to talk to her.

Nesta rattled off the student ID number she'd just memorized that morning, assuming she wouldn't need to but wanting to be careful either way.

"Nesta Katrina Archeron."

Cassian nodded as she spoke and typed a bit more.

"And what's your birthday?"

Nesta almost snarled, telling him it wasn't his business. But there were still two other students in the class that hadn't left yet.

"June 19."

Cassian didn't type anything in, and Nesta followed his gaze as it landed on the last of the stragglers exiting the room.

Almost like a switch flipping, that calm, professional demeanor that Cassian had adopted for all of class time, easily dissipated.

In it's place was a look of anger so deep, so cold, Nesta had no idea how to respond. She'd never dealt with Cassian's anger when it wasn't for something dumb that he could easily over. When it wasn't from a place of laughter and faked irritation. He was genuinely upset in this moment, and Nesta didn't know how to go about it.

"What. The. Hell?"

Nesta's lip curled back of its own accord.

"Don't you dare take that tone with me. I'm just as much fucked in this as you are."

Cassian opened his mouth to say something back, retort with just as much spite as she'd all but hissed at him. But then he stopped, reared back as if in shock, and sighed heavily, his shoulders sagging.

"I'm sorry," he apologized hoarsely, bracing his palms on the table between them, head hanging lowly. "I just don't get how this happened."

I do. We never told each other anything useful about ourselves.

But Nesta kept her mouth shut.

Cassian looked up after a few seconds of awkward silence. "You didn't tell me you got into law school."

Nesta swallowed, not wanting to meeting his hazel eyes in declaration of the painful truth. "I didn't tell anyone except for a few people," she admitted reluctantly. She hadn't even bothered with a phone call to her two sisters when she'd gotten the news. Just a text into their group chat and two "Congratulations" in quick succession had been the response she'd gotten to finally getting her life together. She wouldn't begrudge them for the behavior, even if it did hurt to be snubbed.

"You didn't even tell me you wanted to go to law school."

Nesta shot back her own grievance. "You didn't tell me you were a lawyer."

Cassian looked at her in confusion, brow furrowed, and Nesta resisted the urge to smooth it out with her fingers.

"I thought you knew."

"How the fuck would I know?"

Cassian flinched and his eyes darted around them again, in the empty room.

Right. She needed to stop panicking. Trying again, Nesta lowered her voice and stepped closer to the desk separating them. “Sorry. But how I would have known? You never said anything.”

Cassian opened his mouth and then shut it again, eyes widening in some sort of realization that he wasn’t about to share. Shuffling some papers into a stack, he muttered down at the floor. “I just thought you did.”

Nesta shook her head. Sighed. “Okay. I’m going to go speak to the registrar and get this class changed.”

“No. You can’t.”

Nesta scoffed. “I can and I will. It’s the first day. They can’t stop me.”

Cassian moved around the desk until they were properly face to face. Too close. This was too close for any respectable professor and student to be around each other. Nesta took a step back and Cassian seemed to realize his mistake, cringing slightly before also stepping back.

“Sorry,” he admitted, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly. “But they won’t let you drop the class. Crim law is a requirement here for every first year.”

“Surely there are other...teachers.” She wouldn’t say professor. That was too weird for her.

Cassian nodded. “Yeah, but Nolan's a piece of shit and known for being a hardass with his grading. You can't get higher than a B and that's if he tolerates you."

"I'll take my chances," Nesta snapped, turning on her heel and making her way towards the door. But a firm grip on her wrist pulled her back.

Nesta forced herself to calm her thoughts and emotions. Let the cool mask slip on that she’d mastered for so long. Let him see that version of her instead of the confused, heartbroken mess she had suddenly become inside the minute Cassian had put his name and “Professor” into the same sentence.

“What?” It was a biting question and Nesta knew that if it were any other man, they definitely would have flinched away from the stare she was leveling at him.

But Cassian wasn’t like any other man that had been in Nesta’s life before. Not in the ways where it mattered at least. Where others would have realized just how dangerous a game they were already playing, Cassian seemed to be ignoring it. Pulling her just enough that she had to come closer. Had to feel his breath fan across her face one last time. Knew that this would be the true end to whatever they may or may not have become one day.

“Stay. Don’t drop this class. You need to do good this year.” His words were softly spoken. Almost coaxing her gently into acceptance, but Nesta heard the underlying meaning.

“I don’t want a good grade in this class because you fucked me,” Nesta retorted sharply.

That did get to him. Cassian jerked away, releasing his hold on her. His eyes turned cold and Nesta felt the animosity hit her like a slap. She knew all about slaps. And Cassian’s expression hurt her more than any of them before. She’d always known she’d push him away one day. Her indifference, her attitude, that callous cruelty of her mouth. But she hadn’t realized how much it would hurt to see his reaction to it.

Cassian held her stare with a firmer one of his own. “You won’t. You’ll earn it just like everyone else in your class. But unlike with Nolan, you’ll earn what you get fairly. Don’t drop the class, Nesta. I won’t tell and if you choose not to either, well, nothing happened then. Nothing has to happen.”

Nesta knew then that later on she would replay his words over and over in her head until she may cry. Knew that they had left a profound impact on her in a way that she never wanted him to.

Nothing happened.

Sure she’d kept it that way, with her rules and arrangement. But it clanged around in her mind, how Cassian saw what they’d been doing together as.

Nothing.

She was nothing. They were nothing. And that was all there was to it.

But Nesta wouldn’t do this in front of him. Lose her mind and have it be pointed out just what a crazy bitch she really was. Not by Cassian. She couldn’t bear that. And she sure as hell wouldn’t go and tell on him, even if he had spoken as if he were unsure about her decision.

Instead, Nesta squared her shoulders and nodded.

“Nothing happens.”

Cassian hesitated, for a bare, fraction of a moment, but she saw it all the same. Then he nodded too.

“Nothing happens.”

~*~

Nesta leaned back against the chair, as Gwyn looked at her wide-eyed. She’d been overwhelmed by the fiasco of her first class. Had barely focused on anything the professor’s said throughout the rest of her day. She hadn’t even bothered to take out a pencil in the later afternoon classes and had fumbled around in her bag for one when an attendance sheet passed around in one of her smaller classes. Had it not been for the man sitting next to her who’d silently handed her a pencil with a small smile, she would have faced even more embarrassment on an already shitty day.

She’d seen him in a few other classes of hers, vaguely remembering his face from Cassian’s class as well. Nesta had sneaked a peek onto the sheet when he’d taken it after her, signing “Lucien” after impatiently pushing his red, waist-length hair out of his face. He’d given her another smile after he’d passed the sheet on and Nesta had returned it tentatively. She wasn’t one to smile at strangers. Barely did it with people she knew well too unless they were her friends or...Cassian.

So she’d called up her friends, praying to the Mother that they wouldn’t be too busy for her. Emerie had already graduated law school. Was already working for a legal clinic in the downtown area and loving every minute of it. Gwyn was usually always busy completing her postdoc program for psychology, but she too had made time for Nesta today. Had likely heard how rattled she sounded on the phone and had picked Emerie up on the way to their favorite bar to meet Nesta there.

"So..." Gwyn started, her eyes darting towards the bar for a second, "What do you call him?"

Nesta scoffed. "Nothing. I'm not going to talk to him or address him if I can help it. Just going to keep my head down, do my work, and get through the semester."

Emerie sat back down then, another margarita in hand and wordlessly handed it to Nesta, who accepted gratefully. She'd need another one soon with the topic at hand.

"Okay but valid question. What if you have a question? I know you're a genius or whatever, but you're going to raise your hand and talk. And either way, he’s going to cold call eventually. You can’t get away with not talking to him. So, what’s the plan to talk to him? Professor? Cassian?,” Emerie asked matter-of-factly.

But then with an evil smirk, she added in with a sultry tone, “Daddy?”

Nesta smacked her friend’s shoulder faster than Gwyn could stop her. Gwyn who was currently howling with her head thrown back, not a care in the world at everyone around them watching. Emerie rubbed the spot where Nesta had landed a hit with contempt but Nesta narrowed her eyes right back at her.

Gwyn eventually wiped tears from her eyes, slowly catching her breath from the laughing fit Nesta thought really wasn’t necessary.

It wasn’t that funny.

Gwyn placed a comforting hand on Nesta’s shoulder and Nesta leaned slightly into it. The last thing she needed to hear were jokes about this horrifying situation. Comfort was all she wanted.

“Leave her alone, Emerie,” Gwyn chided. “You don’t know what you’re talking about saying things like that.”

Nesta sighed in relief. “Thank you.”

Finally, someone understood how she felt.

Gwyn nodded. “No problem Nesta. I’m on your side don’t worry. You just need to keep your head down, avoid speaking as much as possible, and whenever you absolutely do need to talk, just call him Professor Daddy.”

“Bitch.”

Emerie joined Gwyn as they laughed even louder.

Nesta hissed, "You two are useless. I’m having a dilemma and here you two are cracking jokes about it.”

“Because it’s funny!,” Emerie insisted. “Who would have thought, Cassian, the guy you’ve been seeing, the one we haven’t even met yet by the way, is not only a lawyer, but your new professor. I mean honestly, it’s like a match made in heaven.”

Gwyn muttered under her breath. “Hell. It’s a match made in hell.”

Nesta went to smack her too but Gwyn nimbly got to her feet, announcing that she was going to go order their food.

“I can’t believe you didn’t know he was a lawyer. Goes to show just how smart miss perfect is going to be in school.” Emerie chuckled again and Nesta reigned in a mean comment that wouldn’t bode well.

Nesta rolled her eyes instead. “Fuck you. I’ll manage. And besides, it’s not like I didn’t Google him. I did.”

Emerie raised her brows, as if to say, “But did you really try hard?”

“I did!,” Nesta insisted. “I looked up Cassian and his address but I couldn’t find shit.”

Emerie furrowed her brows in confusion. “You just put in his first name. What about his last?”

Nesta shrank back in her seat. “I...um...I didn’t know his last name until today.”

Emerie didn’t show her surprise at that. Nor did she show any judgement. Both her and Gwyn knew that her and Cassian’s relationship was more based on sex and less on private and intimate details. She also didn’t say how pathetic that was of her, or how stupid considering this was someone Nesta had let into her house and her bed.

Indeed, what if he had been a serial killer like Gwyn had warned about all those months ago?

Emerie pulled out her phone, flicking her eyes up at Nesta after putting in her password. “Okay what’s his full name?”

“Cassian Virin.”

Emerie looked like she was choking. A strange fizzing noise seemed to be coming from her lips but she looked more on the verge of screaming rather than laughing.

“You’re fucking with me right?”

Nesta glanced at Gwyn as she sat back down, putting away her credit card and the receipt of the meal she’d just ordered for them all. Nesta peeked at the bill. Tacos. Thank the Mother. Gwyn knew exactly what she needed in that moment.

Snapping her attention away from dinner, Nesta shook her head at Emerie, knowing she hadn't heard wrong when Cassian had spoken earlier that day.

“No. I heard him say it. Cassian. Virin. That’s his name.”

Emerie stared and stared and stared.

“What?” she finally snapped.

“What? What? What do you mean what? You don’t know who he is?”

Nesta stared blankly. Emerie let out a sound of exasperation before typing on her phone and shoving it towards Nesta.

On the screen were images of Cassian. Cassian with the men whose photos littered his home- his brothers most likely. Cassian with some leggy blonde who Nesta admitted secretly she hated on sight just for how close she was posing next to him. Cassian in picture after picture, article after article.

Nesta’s eyes scanned impatiently over the words on the screen, devouring every news report and article until finally she realized what she’d missed completely. Cassian wasn’t just any lawyer. He was known as one of the best criminal defense attorneys in the state of Illinois.

“How did you not know this?,” Emerie demanded once Nesta explained her revelation.

Nesta was mildly affronted at that. “I...don’t really know. I’m not from here like you two are. I lived in California for most of my life. I wouldn’t have known anything about him. And it’s not like I went to law school for four years to figure out that he’s a celebrity,” Nesta added on, shooting a look at Emerie with her last sentence.

Emerie leaned back in her chair, not at all affected. “Yeah I know. I keep forgetting since you’ve adapted so well.” Turning to Gwyn, Emerie asked, “Remember how she came here sounding like a Valley girl before.”

Nesta gave her the middle finger as Gwyn giggled.

Nesta had met Gwyn and Emerie as a freshman in college during her first shift at a local bar. Gwyn had been a senior, well on her way to graduating with honors and starting her Masters program in Neuropsychology. Emerie had come from Evanston after her undergraduate years and was attending The University of Chicago Law School. Nesta still considered it fate that five years later, it ended up being the same school Nesta ended up being accepted to and attending. The two older girls had taken Nesta in, under their wing, and the friendship had been easy and safe. For the first time in Nesta’s life, she felt that she belonged somewhere. After her sophomore year, Nesta thought her life was almost close to perfect. Especially when she met-

No. Not going to think about that today.

Nesta ignored the dark train of thought her mind had almost taken her to and instead tuned back into the conversation that was happening around her. Gwyn was doing an impression of Nesta’s apparent valley girl accent and Emerie was doing a horrific, overexaggerated Chicago one, with both girls asserting that Nesta switched between the two of them all the time.

Nesta smacked them both before digging into her tacos.

Damned witches.

~*~

Nesta kept her head down as Cassian spoke to a student in the front row about the assigned case readings. Her previous night’s swagger had been kindly reduced to smithereens after she’d gone home and taken in the readings she needed to finish for Cassian’s class...

And every other class she had too.

Nesta had been ready to quit the night of, regretting the night out she’d stupidly had with Gwyn and Emerie, no matter how fun she’d found it to be. She’d powered through on spite alone at the thought of messing up on only the second day, in Cassian’s class no less. The rest of her work for her other classes had only been helped by espresso shots. Nesta was wired for the better part of early morning, but not the fatigue was finally beginning to catch up with her.

Nesta was writing down the spare few words that she was able to pick up on, but her sleep deprived brain could do little in terms of actually paying attention and creating concrete notes that would make sense if she revisited them. She’d definitely regret it whenever she sat down to study, but Gods she was so tired.

Nesta got a vague sensation of being stared at. Of being watched. But she ignored and continued writing nonsensical words onto her paper. A sharp jab in her side caught her attention.

A panicked Lucien beside her whispered frantically to her, “He called on you twice already. Say something!”

Nesta was confused. She looked at Lucien for a little longer, his words still not quite processing with her.

“Archeron.” Cassian’s voice cut through the fog in her head and she snapped her attention to the front of the room. Cassian was glowering at her and to Nesta’s horror, her feeling of being watched had been completely accurate. Everyone was staring at her.

“Yes?” Nesta cleared her throat, not liking how meek and disoriented she sounded.

Cassian sighed. “I asked you what you thought of your classmate’s response. Do you agree or not? And why?”

Fuck her. She hadn’t heard anything useful. Hadn’t been paying enough attention at all.

Nesta chanced a glance at Lucien sitting next to her, and he had what she thought to be a mirroring expression to her own on his face. Horror, panic and absolute embarrassment.

“I...I don’t know,” she finally admitted. Didn’t want to say she hadn’t been able to focus long enough on whatever he and the other student had been saying to even fake an answer. She simply didn’t know.

Cassian nodded a few times, more to himself than anyone else. “Do you have any opinion at all about what you were assigned to read last night?”

She did. Tons actually. But suddenly, Nesta felt the eyes on her narrow in scrutiny. Could practically hear their thoughts out loud.

Not good enough. Not smart.. Useless. Not worthy.

You don’t belong anywhere, Nesta.

Nesta couldn’t bring herself to say no, knowing that admitting defeat rather than trying to overcome the nerves was the better option. It didn’t matter that she did know what was going on in class. Or that she wasn’t an idiot like it looked like to the entire class. Nesta simply shook her head, tightening the muscles in her face as tears began blurring her eyesight. She would not cry. Not like this.

Cassian’s face flickered with some sort of emotion, one she couldn’t place, but it was there and gone.

“Disappointing,” he announced, stare still leveled on her. She could feel the tension crackle through the air. It would have been better if he’d yelled at her or kicked her out of the class. Instead, he’d all but called her a failure, and now she’d have to sit through the rest of the class with that hanging over her.

Which she did.

Painfully. Angrily. Upset and barely composed.

But she did it.

And as she began packing up her things at the end of the period, Lucien giving her a small pitiful smile that she barely returned, Nesta contemplated how quickly she could run out of the room without looking directly at Cassian.

Except, as fate would have it, she was not a favorite in the world by whatever Gods had created it.

“Nesta,” Cassian called out softly, just as she began walking by his desk in the front of the room.

Nesta steeled her spine, sighing in defeat as she made her way over to him.

Cassian didn’t speak to her as she came to stand in front of his desk. Didn’t even look up from his computer screen, typing in Gods knew what. Nesta was about to leave, rules and proper manners be damned, but the last student finally walked out of the room.

Finally Cassian looked at her.

“What was that?,” he asked lightly, crossing his arms across his chest.

Nesta decided to feign ignorance. “What was what?”

A sly smile played on his lips. “Cute. But not wise. Why couldn’t you answer today?”

“Because I didn’t know the answer.”

Cassian cocked his head a fraction, examining her. As if the entirety of her was wrong, not just her response to him.

“I hope you understand there was no right or wrong answer. It was a discussion to help orient your thought process and how you analyze the material. Which you would be able to participate in as long as you read what you were supposed to.”

“Well, I didn’t finish the readings.”

The lie sat and tasted bitter in her mouth. She hated it. Hated admitting weakness in such a horrible way. In a way that wasn’t even truthful, just to save face and not have to admit the profoundly large effect Cassian had ended up having on her.

Cassian chuckled. A dark, sinister thing that Nesta hadn’t been privy to witnessing ever. He walked around his desk until they were again closer. Again with far too little space between them. Again with those glinting hazel eyes peering down at her.

“Now that’s funny. Because it’s almost believable except you’re not the person that doesn’t do your homework. In fact, according to what I saw from your records and application, it’s not in your nature to do so.”

“You read my application?,” she demanded, furious with a touch of panic. "How did you even get it?”

Cassian scoffed. “One, I didn’t read all of it. I just saw your coursework, your grades, and your letters of recommendation. I didn’t read your personal statement, don’t worry. And two, all the professors have access to student records.”

Lie. That had to be a violation of some sort. He so didn’t have access to shit. What he did have, Nesta would begrudgingly admit, was a beautiful face and a great smile. and way too much charm for anyone to be oblivious to it.

Nesta didn’t respond, so Cassian continued.

“Great grades. Stunning observations about your work ethic as a student and determination to come to class prepared by almost everyone who wrote you a letter. So, I don’t think you’d fuck around on your work. Especially not on the first week of classes.”

Nesta couldn't deny it any longer. “Fine,” she expelled in a quick breath. “I finished the readings.”

“All of them?” Cassian confirmed.

“Yes. All of them.”

“Then why not say something today?”

Nesta sighed in defeat. “Because I wasn’t paying enough attention the first time around with whatever you and that guy were talking about. And then everyone was staring at me and I...”

“You panicked and forgot what you had to say? And even if you did, you knew it would come out completely wrong and be mortifying?”

Nesta nodded miserably, looking at her shoes, biting her lip.

A cool set of fingers grasped her chin and tilted her face back up. Cassian forced her to look at him. Wouldn’t let her run away from it.

“it happens,” he said softly. “You’ll learn. You’ll be okay.”

She half wondered if he was telling her more for himself or for her. Nesta didn’t dwell on it, knowing full well how this was going to end. Carefully, she pulled back from him, from the hand that was still grasping her chin, and Cassian seemed to remember who they were and what they were doing. Or, what they weren’t supposed to be doing.

“Thank you,” she said awkwardly.

Cassian gave her a small smile and she returned it weakly.

“Well, I should go,” she announced after a few awkard seconds.

“Of course. Don’t be late,” Cassian let out in a rush.

Nesta had almost made it to the door when Cassian called for her again.

“Yeah?”

Cassian looked at his laptop before glancing back at her again.

“You did really well in your undergraduate years. Except for junior year, your grades were terrific. You took the LSATs on time too and you scored really well,” he summarized neatly. Nesta could feel bile climbing up her throat as Cassian added in quickly, “And you scored even higher than me!”

Nesta didn’t know what to say, knowing where the question was likely heading.

“So why take a year in between college and law school? I saw that you worked as a paralegal, but with this application, I can tell you, you would have gotten in without it.”

She’d been right about what Cassian had been going to ask her. She also knew that this was not the question she would be answering today. Not today, not with him, and likely not ever. Nesta decided on a simple lie instead.

“I couldn’t afford the tuition. So I decided to wait the year, work more than I can ever do right now and get a head start on loans and saving money. It also helped me settle down into my apartment rather than a college dorm.”

“You’re still working?,” Cassian asked surprised, not commenting on what she’d revealed about her tuition. She could have handled it but that year had been nothing to do with money and everything to do with Nesta’s personal turmoils.

Nesta shook her head. “I quit once I got accepted, but looking at that bill every month is making me worry that it wasn’t smart to do that. So, not currently working, but I want to soon. Somewhere closer to school though. The other firm was too far away from here for me to make it work.”

Cassian’s brows raised slightly at the confession. “Most students aren’t advised to work during 1L. You can do it if you really need to, but it’s not a requirement and it makes classes horribly difficult to get through.”

Nesta thought about it. Knew he was right but that she didn’t exactly have a choice. “I’ll be fine,” she told him.

Cassian looked at her with a more pronounced smile than before. “Of course you will sweet-....um...Nesta. You’ll do great. Have a good rest of the day.”

“Thank you.” Nesta ignored his slip-up, his pet name for her that she’d acted irritated by but secretly loved. Ignored the pang in her chest as she turned away from him.

Nesta walked out of Cassian’s classroom, not sure if she felt lighter or heavier from the moment that she’d stepped back into it.

~*~

Tags:

@spoilersteph @rhysandswingspan @purpleglitterypinecone @pixieelea @absolution-s @sv0430 @positivewitch @royaltykxx @moodymelanist @stardelia @gwynberdara @charming-butt-insane @cassiansbigwingspan @a-court-of-milkandhoney @bookstantrash @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @queenestarcheron @nessiansimp @cassianscool @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @courtofjurdan @vasudharaghavan @sayosdreams @moe8 @arielle-reads @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @nahthanks @oversizedbats @swankii-art-teacher @inardour @rowaelinismyotp @starryblueskies7 @nestaarcher0n @vidalinav @nessiantrashh @lanyjoy-13 @iwastoowildinthe70s @nessianlordandladyofillyria @ladygabrielli1997 @moonlitchandeliers @vanzetanze @generalnesta @drielecarla @moodymelanist @wishfulimaginings @amaranthas-whore

262 notes • Posted 2021-07-02 05:32:10 GMT

Scandalous

Nesta and Cassian one-shot, 4.9k words

A/N:Hello lovelies,

The other day @darklove9314-blog asked if there are any Nessian pregnancy fics and I remember thinking well yes I read a great one just the other day, but also, a fun new project for me? So I wrote this. Also, I have decided to begin finishing up half finished or almost finished fics so this is one that I can happily say is leaving the drafts box.

And please let me know if you'd like to be added or removed to my tag list.

Warnings: Blood, Violence

Tagging: @bookstantrash @duskandstarlight @moe8 @queenestarcheron @queenofbloodshed @vasudharaghavan @allilal @cassianscool @courtofjurdan @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @greerlunna @sayosdreams

Enjoy🤗

-----------------------------

It was scandalous.

That's the first thing Nesta can think of. The entire situation is scandalous and if she were still a human woman, she'd be ostracized from high society. Not that she would have cared what other people thought of her. Especially not in that behemoth they called a home bought for them to keep their pretty silence from the High Lord who'd caged her sister. Nesta would have lived her human life in scandal without batting an eye given how wealthy she had been.

But here, somehow, it felt wrong. Nesta didn't think she'd ever find a place more traditional than the human lands. But then she'd come to Illyria. Part of it was misogyny. But it was also that the people were rooted in tradition.

There were superstitions she'd learned slowly, carefully. Sometimes painfully, when she did something not quite right and just enough wrong, and got scathing looks from people nearby who were now sure they'd end up with the wrath of a god smiting them. But with time she learned and never made those mistakes again.

The traditions, the culture, ran deep in Illyria. And it was beautiful.

Nesta thought it to be at least. As a human, they didn’t have Gods or holidays or much tradition to fall back on. And while Nesta had hated it in the beginning, the holidays that weren’t hers, the decorations and food so unlike their own, illustrious as it may be, she began a slow acceptance of it. Not in Velaris, no never in that place. She couldn’t stand it anymore- court of dreams or not.

But in Illyria, Solstice was unlike the awkward, dissonant celebration she’d been forced to go to at the behest of her baby sister. It was loud, and not in the way that Mor had been when she’d joked about Cassian’s gift to her. It was warm, even though it was freezing in the Steppes at that point in the year. It was natural- it wasn’t forced on her part, to enjoy the holiday with her friends and invite them over to the house for presents and dinner. And most of all, it was a choice. Cassian let her choose to have a party or not, choose to join him for a celebration in the town square or stay in the comfort of her room. And the choice, the decision of it all, was probably what made her love Solstice that second time around.

She knew her sisters didn't have the same proclivity towards the Illyrian people as she did. Regardless of the fact that one of them wore the wings and marks the females were often stripped of even dreaming of having before they came of age. Regardless that the other remained cloistered away with the constant company of a male who hated his people so much for the faults of a select few.

Nesta didn't hate them for it, and they certainly weren't ill-willed in how they acted.

It was just...a disconnect. Feyre couldn't understand why after the war with the Queens ended, Nesta did not follow her back to Velaris. Elain couldn't fathom how Nesta could enjoy such "dangerous people" for constant company.

Nesta had simply lied and said she wished to learn more about her powers, and the few females of Illyria that still practiced witchcraft had happily agreed. Viciously agreed in fact, almost snapping their sharpened teeth at the Lady of Night who they didn’t like on principle. It wasn’t in Nesta to gossip about her sisters and their messy relationship, but it didn’t take much for them to figure out how much was wrong between them. How wrong they were for sending her here.

It wasn't all a lie. Nesta did train with the other witches, now more a leader than a student however. When their oldest Matron had passed after a millennium of life, she had named Nesta to be trained to take over one day.

Not that the one day had come soon. The training had been rigorous. Daunting. One didn't just become the Matron. It took blood, sweat, tears, and then a little bit more blood , preferably of someone who'd pissed you off that day. Nesta always threatened Cassian to be her victim if he displeased her too much. Cassian had once laughed and told her to pick Feyre instead, promptly shutting his mouth as soon as it out, realizing his mistake.

Her sisters never came here anymore. Sometimes Feyre would send a letter asking very politely if Nesta would come over to Velaris and join her and Elain for some tea. They always had so much tea together. Probably afraid to drink alcohol the entire lot of them constantly seemed to be drowned in. Because to drink alcohol in front of Nesta...

Nesta who'd been sober for years now. Who could now easily stick to a few light sips of wine at a dinner party or be wrecked alongside Emerie on hard liquor just because it was fun, and still not turn into an alcoholic mess.

It was also almost scandalous how put together she was now. Almost. Nothing on her particular situation, but almost.

Cassian wouldn't be home yet. Still in Velaris for Mor's belated birthday celebration that Nesta hadn't even bothered to refuse the invitation to. That Cassian hadn't even bothered to bring up anymore. She wouldn't be going. Not after the fiasco of the previous year. And if Cassian didn't have Nesta insistent that she not be the wedge between him and his family, he wouldn't have gone either.

Oh she had her reasons for avoiding them all- the list too long, too detailed, too painful. She had never liked her sister's mate for one thing. Had found him too pretty. Not in looks, although he certainly had that going for him. Too pretty in how he acted. Like he was above it all. Like he was too good and his wife even more so when all he did was play foolish parts and masquerade as a villain that no one cared to refute.

But, she had been willing to try.

She'd sat at that dinner table where everyone in the Inner Circle and her sisters were gathered. Had quietly listened to their jokes and regales and tried to laugh when Elain and Feyre attempted to include her. She'd completely ignored the constant staring on Cassian's behalf, even though she knew he meant well. She was determined to get through it all without a fuss.

But then Feyre had gotten up unexpectedly, boasting of an announcement that needed to be made. That mate of hers had swept up with her, a hand wrapped around her waist as she raised her cup of juice and announced that she was pregnant.

And Nesta had nearly fallen over in the chaos of it all. The cruelty. The shock still silence that seemed to morph into ringing in her ears as everyone but her jumped up to scream their congratulations. Cassian had risen, barely whispering his words of kindness before sitting back down next to Nesta, eyes now unwaveringly trained onto her.

To her credit, she'd lasted an entire hour after Feyre's announcement. Had chugged two glasses of wine down without hesitation...but still. She'd lasted.

But then Feyre had told Cassian she couldn't wait for him to meet the baby and for the baby to meet Uncle Cass. And Nesta had felt the floor begin to shake so hard as she felt fissures in the ground crack open. Breaks that no one but Nesta seemed to feel apparently as everyone around her continued on like the world was fine.

But it wasn't fine. None of it was fine. It was a cruel, fucked up, joke. A conundrum. A mess of despair and broken dreams. And definitely not fine.

Which was exactly what she'd told her baby sister. I'm fine. Thank you for asking. No it's just some pain in my head. Yes I'll be fine. Of course I'll be fine. Enjoy your party.

And that was the end of it. Should have been the end of it.

Except the High Lord didn't think so. He’d snorted and muttered under his breath that of course she was leaving. Then he’d announced grandly that of course some people just can’t manage to be happy for their family, because it was easier to be selfish and hateful.

Feyre hadn't said a word at his insult. Nesta chalked it up to shock because the alternative was too painful to consider. But Cassian had stalked forward, snarling as he pushed Rhys into a wall. Nesta had scrambled to get in between, a palm on her lover's chest pushing slightly to get his attention.

"That's enough,” she had whispered into his neck. Cassian’s eyes had lowered a fraction down to hers, one hand still wrapped around Rhys’ throat.

But it was enough. Cassian had backed off instantly, much to everyone's surprise.

Nesta had told Cassian to enjoy the party, not even looking at the High Lord whose face had gone bone white at his brother’s threat. Told him she would sleep off her headache at home and hadn't given any room for argument. Her own issues aside, this was still his family.

As she left, Nesta didn't hesitate to kiss her sister on both cheeks, hug her for the first time in years, and whisper congratulations on the joyous news into her ear.

Because it wasn’t selfishness or cruelty or hate that had stopped her from expressing her wishes sooner. It had been grief. One that she had no interest in explaining or sharing with anyone in the room who had judged her.

Feyre had nodded, mouth slightly agape, perhaps still consumed with her husband's accusations and Cassian's outburst. But she had known, some kind of bond that ran deep in their blood regardless of their jagged history. They were sisters after all. Feyre had figured it out to some extent, so she had simply hugged her tightly back and told her to go.

It wasn't even a full day later than Amren had come to Illyria without warning, knocking on her door for ten minutes at dawn until she’d had been woken by the noise. Nesta had snarled something unworldly as she threw open the door, only to find Amren completely unfazed.

Not even a hint of remorse in those wicked eyes as she asked how far along Nesta had been when she'd lost her youngling.

Nesta didn't remember ever crying so much as she had done that day. Didn't know what came over Amren to cradle her head in her petite lap and stroke her hair softly as Nesta wept, and wept, and wept.

Cassian had found them there a few hours later, neither having moved, but Nesta a lot calmer albeit exhausted from all the tears.

She heard rumors that the High Lord and his second never got along again after that dinner party. And vicious as it was, a part of Nesta was glad for how fitting it sounded.

Nesta didn't know what this strange emotion tingling through her was though. She had been pregnant before. Even got far along enough to begin showing through her tops. Until she had lost her baby and her stomach had flattened back down, her breasts following suit not long after. The stretch marks on them could have made for glorious battle scars of motherhood if only for the fact that she had never gotten to hold her child in her hands.

But tradition in the Steppes was to wed before having younglings. Cassian hadn't cared the first time around, even though he was born of similar circumstances.

"It's not the same. I'm here with you. I'm not going to leave you to have a child on your own as an outcast. Rules be damned."

But then he'd also asked her if she wanted to get married anyways. A snort from her had answered that question.

Rules be damned indeed.

But this time...what was it this time?

Nesta realized that it was guilt when she climbed into their empty bed.

It was guilt she felt as she nestled down into the covers and ran her hand over the white sheets. Sheets that had once been stained with crimson that had run down her thighs in the middle of the night. Crimson that Nesta had screamed herself hoarse at when she'd seen it, screaming for Cassian who was on a mission at a rebel camp and couldn't hear her.

Everything after was a blur. Someone had heard her and called for a patrol of soldiers. A warrior had apparently flew to their bedroom window and seen her in the middle of the miscarriage, shattering the window with his Siphons and flying her over to the healer's barracks.

By the time Nesta came to, it was just her. No prominent bump left. No morning sickness. No beating heart in her womb that she would always listen for to soothe herself and fall asleep to. It was Nesta all alone again.

And it was guilt that Cassian hid well from her as well. Just not well enough. His absence wasn't his fault just as much as he said the loss of their babe wasn't hers. Half true. It was only half true in her mind and Nesta would likely never forgive herself for it.

So Nesta thought of the scandal at her having a second pregnancy, again out of wedlock, after losing her first. The ones that still hated her would say it was because she was a whore.

It was exactly what they'd said when she hadn't left her room for a month because listening to the Illyrian children laughing outside had been too painful to stomach.

A whore who had fucked too many males in Velaris and ruined her chances of having a healthy womb. The healers assured her that wasn't the case, even if Nesta didn't quite believe it. And now, people would say that Nesta was a whore for getting knocked up again without a wedding band on her fingers, tempting fate to steal her second chance at joy by not unifying her bond at an altar with a priestess.

Nesta didn't need to be married to Cassian to know she was his wife. He didn't need to swear anything in front of anyone to know he was her husband.

They were lovers. They were equals. They shared a home. They shared a life. They were madly and hopelessly in love. It was all what spouses should be anyways.

They were mates and they were spouses and she was his and he was hers.

A piece of paper and chants in a temple didn't change any of that.

And then there was the scandal. The Illyrian scandal that hadn't happened yet but was just waiting to implode. As a human woman, she would have lost everything without the wealth they had if she'd been pregnant outside of marriage. It wasn't that this didn't hold true in Illyria, it was just that she was powerful here. Feared even more so. No one dared question the witch, even if she was spitting on the expectations they had of their females. It also helped that Cassian would likely murder anyone if the gossip she'd heard of herself actually reached his ears.

But in Illyria, she wasn't just having a child with a random soldier without being married to him. She was having Cassian's child.

The Commander's firstborn.

And the Commander's firstborn was always a male that could carry on the line of strong soldiers and multiple Siphons. She'd heard the soldiers talk of Vibasi, the third commander in Illyrian history. His firstborn had been a lovely little baby girl. A girl who'd mysteriously disappeared mere days after her birth. Her brother two decades later was called the firstborn and made into a formidable soldier by the sacrifice of a sister he didn't even know existed.

Speculation of course.

No one wanted to admit that while children were supposedly cherished amongst the Fae, given how rare they were, females and bastards didn't matter either way.

She thought about how fitting it would be then. The Commander's firstborn being a female. The child of a bastard General being a female and being celebrated. They'd be spitting on tradition two-fold.

If Cassian didn't mind that is. He might. She didn't know if he would care, she was assuming he wouldn't. Hoping. Praying actually. Because she loved him too much to think anything like that could matter to someone like him. Who woke up two hours earlier just to make sure the females were trained on par with the males. Who forced every single camp Lord to push for equality even when it required him to kill and take on the stain of death over and over. Nesta didn't think a male like Cassian could ever care that his firstborn was going to be a female.

Female according to the anxious healer who'd informed her in a hurried whisper and almost pushed her out of the barracks through the back door, urging her to keep it to herself as long as possible.

But Nesta didn't keep secrets from Cassian, or he from her. Not in years.

When she awoke again after a fitful sleep that hadn't endured through the night, it was early. Too early to get up but too late to do anything. For Nesta at least.

Cassian, from what she could hear, was already back to work in his office. Probably reading reports and signing documents that she always told him she could take care of for him.

When she decided to investigate, she was pleased to find she was right. Heaps of papers, a Faelight almost burned out, and Cassian scrutinizing a report like he would a battlefield. He didn't even bother to look up when she entered, extending an arm out instead, eyes trained on the parchment at hand.

She took the arm quietly. Let it wrap around her waist as he pulled her close, a wing rising up to curve behind her as well. It was all the invitation Nesta needed to crawl into his lap and nestle in closely, as he curved the arm and wing tighter around her.

Safe.

This was where she felt safest. Even with all the doubts of the unknown, the fears of where their future would lead, in this moment, she felt safe.

“Do you know about Vibasi?” she asked without warning. Not the best way to say she was pregnant perhaps, bringing up a murdering piece of-

“Yes. Vaguely. Why?” A knowing glint in his eyes that edged on teasing came to face her. “You’re not reading those strange history books again are you? I told you they aren’t accurate.”

No. She was going off of rumors she’d heard from soldiers sitting outside a bar and drinking, half drunk on absinthe and historical trivia. “No bat, I’m not. What do you know?”

Cassian put down the papers, and leaned back in his chair, taking her with him. He shrugged, likely not understanding Nesta’s strange curiosity into a male who’d been dead for thousands of years.

“Vibasi was the third commander in Illyria. He was mated to a female who remains unnamed as they did to all the wives during that time. Two children in his 800 years of life, both went on to be dangerous males on the battlefield.” A perfect recitation from whatever history book he had told her not to waste time reading.

Nesta bit her lip, unsure of how to prompt anything further. “And the female?”

“His mate?”

Nesta shook her head, worry growing steadily greater. “No, the female...child. He had one supposedly. I was wondering what you knew about that.”

Understanding flashed in Cassian’s eyes along with the edge of something darker. So it was true.

Cassian got a look of discomfort on his face, one she had never really seen before. “It’s not talked about much.”

Clearly.

“Lots of historians say that the child existed and was murdered very quickly and discreetly afterwards. There were no records of her ever existing but you know how that works. Staff and servants are always aware, and you can’t buy off everyone.” Nesta nodded, very aware of the gossip that used to permeate her own estate when she’d been a human. Which stable hand was flirting with which maid when both were promised to other people. How much did the Lady who’d visited the other day give to the footman in shillings to tell her the name of her husband’s mistress. Gossip was quick, especially when the details of the crime grew in vulgarity.

“And is that...common?”

How do you feel about it? Will you be disappointed your firstborn isn’t a son? If she even lives to term? If my ruined body doesn't kill her first.

“Not if I have anything to do with it,” he growls, vicious and low in the back of his throat.

That’s all she needs. Confirmation.

And then she’s drowning in guilt all over again.

How could she have questioned him?

Cassian. This was Cassian. Not some misogynistic, cruel male. It was Cassian, her Cassian. How could she be so stupid to think that he would ever do such a thing? Could even be capable of the thought?

The sob gets stuck in her throat, but forces its own way out through her clenched teeth and pressed lips. Startles Cassian who had thought the conversation was over so that he could go back to work.

“Nesta? What-”

“I’m sorry.” she gasped. “I didn’t mean to be so judgmental. Or even think so low of you. I was just worried, you know?” Cassian’s bewildered expression told her, no, he did not in fact know, because Nesta hadn’t explained anything. She’d just begun crying like the hormonal wreck she was, and scared Cassian into a panic.

It took half an hour for her hiccupping sobs to quiet, all while Cassian rubbed soothing circles in her back patiently. Much too patient considering it took another hour to stop the second bout of tears that happened after she began to explain herself, not getting very far at all after talking about the soldiers at the bar.

A jumbled mess of words sticking in her throat, all unnecessary details that Cassian really didn't need to know that she was sharing anyways. He didn't interrupt once.

When she finally, finally, manages to say it, she can't help but shudder. The words that tell him this is their second chance, a gift of possibility. Of healing.

If she carries to term. If the child doesn't die in her again. If her already unfortunate life doesn't manage to get worse, which for Nesta, isn't very likely. So many ifs, and not once does she tell Cassian about them.

There's no need.

He's remembering the first time too even if he's smiling and telling her he's so happy he doesn't have words. That his heart is so happy it hurts. That he's just simply happy. So happy he kisses her three times over and over and over. So happy that they don't talk about how it's going to be a girl because Nesta forgot to mention it in all the excitement and laughter and tears.

And then she's waking Cassian up after the rest he insists she needs, even though he's the one out like a rock. She's shaking and almost screaming at him to get up because he has to know. He has to know what's going to happen when their daughter comes into this world.

This world that's given her the love of her life but only after so much misery and misunderstanding between them. This world that has let her earn her peace but only after toiling for it with every ounce of ire in her bones. This world that has so much beauty if you have it in you to look and fight for it, but otherwise it's just cruel.

She wants him to know that she's going to bring a life into that world and it's not going to be easy for any of them. Not for Nesta, who is still seen as an outsider by some rare, few people in Illyria. Not for Cassian, whose enemies will use his daughter as a source of exploitation should they get the chance. And not for their daughter who will always be seen as second best where a son could have been better.

Cassian, the great beast of a male, understands right away when she whispers that it's a girl. Understands why she looks away concerned and puts two and two together on why she'd questioned Cassian's opinions on his predecessor's actions as a father. And Cassian, her heart, doesn't judge her for it. For questioning his integrity before revealing something she's scared he won't like.

She almost collapses into tears again as he brushes it off and asks her about names. She apologizes again, babbling about how it was unfair of her to assume something so horrific about him and also that she loves the name Nadyzva.

Cassian only brushes a forefinger over her cheek, ghosting over the threat of tears that may spill again while telling her that she'll make for a wonderful mother with how fierce and protective she's already being. That she should never apologize for putting the safety of her child first.

That safety comes in the form of trusting the Illyrian healers over the Velaris ones when it comes time to deliver. It comes in the form of just Cassian and her and the healer in the small delivery room. The only people she has been able to trust since she entered her final month of pregnancy and the instincts to protect surged and multiplied.

The pain is unimaginable, akin to how she felt when she was ripped apart from the inside out in the Cauldron. When she recalls it to her daughter years later, she will admit she doesn’t remember it well. It’s all fragmented pieces rather than a fully flowing story. Likely from the pain, or perhaps the analgesic, but her memory’s not the best when remembering the birth. She does remember the panic that happened halfway when it became too much to keep going. When this life she’d fought so hard to keep going after her first loss began to kill her slowly from the inside. She’d turned to Cassian, whose hand she’d shattered in her grip, and told him amidst great heaving sobs that she couldn’t do it.

“I can’t. I can’t Cassian, it’s too much. I’m sorry.”

But Cassian hadn’t hesitated to wrap the still broken hand around her and pull her back to his chest. To tell her she was the strongest person he knew in his whole life. And that to him, there was truly nothing Nesta couldn’t do if she wanted.

He didn’t tell her that the healer had briefly looked at him from between Nesta’s legs, fear dilating her eyes so much that Cassian could only see black pupil. He didn’t tell her that the scent of her blood was overpowering the scent of her tears, because the hemorrhaging was too much and too fast and if she didn’t finish pushing soon, Nesta and the child would soon be dead. Which would likely kill Cassian too from the heartbreak not long after. He didn’t tell her that particular admission until years later. Didn’t admit that he would have died had he lost them both that day until their daughter finishes the Rite and appears back from Ramiel’s peak. Bloody and bruised in so many places, looking like the perfect mix of Cassian’s will and Nesta’s pride in something that can only be described as wholly triumphant.

Most of all though, Nesta remembered being scared. So, so scared because what if she's a horrible mother? What if...what if she's exactly like her mother? She couldn't stand the thought of raising a child so hateful and hurting like she had ended up. Like she could have avoided becoming had her mother been a tad less cold and her father heaps less of a coward.

But when her daughter comes screaming into the world that she is so very afraid of, everything washes away. At least for the moment, there is a silent peace with no other noise save for the infant who seems to have the lungs of a warrior as she screams and shrieks and declares that she is gloriously here.

Here in this world that could ruin her. That tried to ruin her mother even though she kicked and shouted and stomped against it until it left her be. But she is safe for now.

Nesta thinks so at least.

She is safe, nestled to her mother's breast, a wing curving over the two of them in the place of Cassian's arms that has always made Nesta feel safest. Now a place for her daughter to share in that safety too.

But out of all the things Nesta does or doesn’t remember from her delivery, as she watches her daughter receive her Siphons, all nine of them, Nesta remembers what she felt the moment her baby been placed in her arms. Something that has never once wavered or dissipated each time she looks at her daughter.

Joy.

311 notes • Posted 2021-01-21 18:21:10 GMT

For They Were Gods

Nessian one-shot (NSFW) - 13k

Hello! This is my first post-ACOSF writing piece. It’s when Cassian and Nesta are on that mountain after she has the entire breakdown, and we got those two lines from her later how they...ahem...did the do for two days straight. Well I wanted to expand on this scene that we were robbed of. If there are typos, I’m sorry, I just can’t look at it again anymore. So many thanks to @bookstantrash who listened to my ramblings and musings as I wrote this fic. I’m so dramatic at times and she was supportive through it all. This was heavily inspired by all the hints of Cassian being Enalius reborn, and how Nesta is referred to as a queen so many times in the book.

I hope you enjoy!

~***~

Nesta’s arms were aching by the time Cassian finally reached for the sword from her grip and told her they were done for the day.

She felt drained. In all the best ways, but still, there was nothing but empty silence in and around her. Not in the way it had gone horribly quiet before she’d burst into tears on her knees, but in the way that only calm could do for her.

Pure calm.

She couldn’t remember the last time she had felt such a way. Sure she had felt hints of it, in those moments when her body was ragged after training, or completely loose under Cassian’s ministrations. But it never lasted. That creeping dread always found a way into her heart, her mind, until all that sounded was that dark, raging fire of hers that she could never do much to quell the burn of.

This was not that. This was lightness, a burden lifted off of her shoulders. So many thoughts she’d had about her father, about herself, as a person, a daughter, a sister, a female. None of them good- not for her nor the people around her.

But this calm enveloped her tightly, as a mother would, if she’d ever had one that care enough to do so. Or perhaps a lover, if she had ever allowed him close enough to do that.

It held tight and it held firm and Nesta just breathed, breathed, breathed.

The air in the mountains was crisp, sharper, cleaner than even Velaris. She could feel something deep in the soil under her feet, or perhaps in the shimmering lake in front of her. Some sentience beyond her capability of understanding it- beyond time, beyond life as she knew it. Old and vast, rich with knowledge and understanding...whatever being had once walked here, or still did, Nesta could feel its presence warming her from the inside out.

“Take off your clothes and put them here before you go in,” Cassian called from behind her. She turned in shock at the statement as she saw him begin to undress, piling his jacket, then his shirt, onto the pack. The pack that was kept next to a...

Is that a sleeping bundle?

“You’ve had that this whole time?.” she asked, outraged at the soreness she could still feel from sleeping on hard ground for an entire week.

Cassian didn’t bother to reply though, smirking as he walked over to the lake, naked, and waded in.

Nesta did eventually relent when he didn’t turn around to call her in with him again. Why she needed him so much, she’d never know. She certainly wasn’t about to ask him.

Her clothes were filthy, and she knew she should wash them before going into the lake with Cassian. But that would mean crouching down on the bank, naked, and making a mess of the cloth and her hands.

It would also mean looking like an idiot in front of Cassian...no, she’d rather not.

The water was not cold as she’d expected it to be. Not warm either, but the cool lap of the gentle waves soothed her overheated skin, as well as her shot nerves.

Cassian seemed to be swimming small laps further into the circle of the body of water, but Nesta had no interest in taking part in whatever new game he’d created. She stuck to the edges, washing her body as best as she could with no soap or proper tub. Cassian let her be, content to swim his laps, circles really, not a care in the world that someone could see them in the still evening light should they walk by.

“Are you done primping yet?.” he mocked, finally turning around to look at her now wading in the rippling water.

Nesta flashed him a sweet smile. “Some of us don’t enjoy a week’s worth of dirt on our skin. It’s called hygiene.”

Cassian rolled his eyes. “It’s called primping.”

“Ass,” she muttered, but slowly made her way towards him, only to stop a few feet away. Cassian snickered but said nothing more, and she wondered if it came naturally to him to be so lighthearted.

He looked calmer here too, in the wilds of the hills with the slowly setting sun behind him, sky turned crimson and violet all at once, and his skin gleamed copper against it.

Radiant.

Beautiful.

She had no place next to him here. Here in the stilling perfection of the scenery and Cassian, Nesta did not fit.

Cassian seemed to realize the train of her thoughts, to some base extent at least, because he reached out a hand to her, water splashing as it rose from his side towards her. He was always holding out a hand for her to grasp, never once wavering in helping her. He always helped her, brought her up, brought her forward.

What did she do for him? What could she do for him?

“Don’t do that,” he said softly, moving a couple inches closer, hand still outreached. “Don’t get into your head. Just come here.”

She would only need to float forward slightly, and then her hand would easily intertwine with his own, where he would likely pull her away from any lingering grief and doubt haunting her mind.

He always did.

“Come here Nes,” he coaxed again, gently.

She relented then, if only just this once after the storm of emotions that had ripped through her not too long ago. Sure the sword practice had helped, the tears had helped, but she needed more. She needed him.

Cassian’s hand was hot, callouses soothing across her own, and it was a gentle tug on her hand that got her pulled close to his chest, just like she knew he would do. She didn’t want to look into his eyes though, not that serene calm on his face with a hint of apprehension for her. She didn’t need to see it just yet. So Nesta focused on the view directly in front of her.

Tanned skin with tendrils of water running down the pectorals, circling in all directions over and on the whorls of tattoos on Cassian’s chest. It was instinct that had her hand rising up to trace them, to focus on him alone if only to calm the churning thoughts in her mind.

And Cassian let her. Held her waist with one arm to keep them wading above the surface, wings fluttering every so often behind him to do the work.

Cassian did not stop her, letting her trace and commit to memory each line, each curve and each lick of black ink that with every stroke of her fingers, brought her further away from what would happen when they returned to Velaris. What she would say to Feyre, if she even could speak-

Stop. Focus on Cassian. Don’t think of all that right now.

Only when the last rays of sunlight hit the horizon, and the world was aglow in the barest hints of the sun’s luminance, did Nesta stop her exploring on Cassian’s skin. It could have been hours, could have been days, even though her Fae senses told her it had only been a couple minutes since she’d gone to him. None of that mattered as she felt the calm return, stronger this time from when she’d waded into the lake and her horrible thoughts had attempted to resurface.

It was just Nesta and Cassian in this new perfect world, where they alone existed with each other. With no barriers to separate their skin or souls, she thought it to be the closest moment of perfection she’d ever gotten in her life. Even if this fantasy would quickly shatter as soon as they had to leave.

She could pretend for now.

So she locked her arms around his neck, pressing her front tighter to his muscled chest, and placed a soft kiss just where his neck began and his markings ended. Then another one higher up, where his pulse pounded like a war drum under her lips.

It was all the encouragement that Cassian needed before his hands circled her waist and quickly lifted her up to wrap her legs around his torso.

She was about to capture his lips with her own, but Cassian made to pull back.

Had she done something wrong? It certainly seemed so with the way his eyes scanned across her face, hazel eyes glinting with the full moon’s reflection, and body tensed to spring.

“Are you sure?” he asked gruffly.

“Why wouldn’t I be?”

He’d never asked her like this before. There had never been a true need for it. Nesta didn’t need to voice anything to Cassian when it came to sex, he just knew by instinct what she needed from him- what she craved, what she lusted for. Sure they were coarse with their language the entire time, but she didn’t need to say anything about what she needed from him. Or if she was sure of him.

She was always sure of him. That was never the problem.

Cassian blew out a soft breath, the warmth tickling her cheek as he pulled a centimeter closer. “I just don’t want you to feel like anything needs to happen right now. It doesn’t. We can just...swim.”

Nesta raised her brows at him, impatience getting the best of her. She pulled him closer, as best as she could given how she was almost hanging off of him, and nipped the bottom of his ear with just enough bite to get him groaning.

Nesta placed a soft kiss to the underside of his ear, and then nuzzled her nose across his neck, grounding herself with his scent.

“I don’t want to swim,” she whispered low in his ear.

A shudder went through Cassian as he held her tighter, and a smug bit of satisfaction coursed through her that she’d affected him so.

“What do you want then?,” he asked asked through gritted teeth.

Nesta smirked against his clavicle and then without warning, licked up the column of his throat, savoring the taste of his sweat and something else that was utterly Cassian. That had Cassian grunting and bucking his hips just a fraction up to her. Already she could feel his hardness poking into her stomach.

Nesta fixed her eyes on Cassian’s, challenge rife in both hazel and blue. But she would not bend this time, not even if she wanted to beg for him to fuck her and fuck her now.

Cassian broke first anyways.

He gave up any restraint he was holding onto and plunged his hands into her hair, pulling her roughly towards him to join their mouths.

Stroke for stroke she met every single movement of his mouth on hers, and then just to remind him how she wanted this to go, she bit down hard on his bottom lip, drawing blood. He pulled back, hissing, and she wondered if he didn’t appreciate it. But then Cassian gave her a feral grin, and the blood droplet that had gathered on his now swelling lower lip fell down his chin. She licked that up, body brimming with heat as his scent and taste filled her mouth.

Tang and copper and salt, and yet, somehow it was better than sweet honey in her mouth.

“You’re a naughty little thing aren’t you?,” he whispered into her ear, tracing the shell of the arched point before lightly nipping the top. She couldn’t help the yelp that escaped her at that, and Cassian chuckled darkly before backing away.

Before she could snarl at him to pick up the pace, to get to the point before she could remember everything she was trying to forget, one of Cassian’s hands snaked down to part her folds, thumb stroking her sensitive nub lightly. Just that small, teasing touch, and a burn began to build all over her skin.

One arm remained tightly wrapped around her waist, and Nesta held onto his shoulders with a fiercer grip as he used his other hand to pleasure her leisurely under the water.

But she needed more.

Nesta shifted her hips impatiently, as much as her position would allow her to do, desperately craving more friction between her core and Cassian’s fingers.

“Naughty,” Cassian murmured, still not giving her what she desired. “What do you want Nesta?,” he demanded roughly.

Nesta keened at that, the pure command in his tone, no longer teasing or lighthearted. This was the Commander, and he had asked her a serious question. No more playing around, thank the Gods.

“I want...oh,” she interrupted herself as Cassian plunged two fingers into her tight channel. She moaned low in her throat as he began scissoring his hands in and out of her, the scent of both their arousals rising to meet them in a heady pull.

She should finish the thought, yes, she should tell him she wanted to...Gods above that was good. So utterly good as Cassian reached to his member and placed it against her bundle of nerves, rubbing his tip over it. It was exquisite as he slid his length through her folds, slowly grinding his hips against hers, and yet never entering.

A different kind of torture for sure because Nesta knew she was close to breaking if he kept with the teasing any longer.

“Please,” she whimpered as he drove his hips towards her for the fifth time, still not inside of her in the way she wanted so much.

Cassian looked at her then, tearing his gaze away from between their joined hips under the water, and she felt undone under the scrutiny of his gaze.

Nesta was about to ask again, beg really, pride and ego be damned. But Cassian didn’t keep her waiting longer as he slammed his hips against hers, his thick length stretching her as he entered.

Nesta might have screamed, she couldn’t tell from the way she temporarily lost all sensation in her body, save for the one between her legs. Perhaps from the slight pain mixed with pleasure, from the size that was just too large to ever really get used to. Not that she’d ever want it any other way. He was the only one that could make her feel-

“Better?,” he asked, driving deep into her again, removing his hand from between where they were now joined to cup her breast.

Gods yes.

He palmed it roughly, scraping a fingernail over a peaked nipple that caused her to whimper almost embarrassingly loud. But Nesta was beyond caring. Not when Cassian adjusted her on his hips to drive deeper, higher up, hitting a spot inside her that was as toe-curling as it was brilliant. It was so good, so exquisite at how it hinted at the pleasure she could reach if only she had...

“More,” she moaned, her hands barely able to hold onto his wet shoulders as he drove up into her over and over again. “I want more.”

A plea she would likely regret as soon as this was all over, but she wanted to be screaming with pleasure. Drowning in it.

Cassian stopped moving inside of her then, weighing what she’d asked for. His eyes scanned the water around them, probably thinking the same thing she had already figured out. No balance, not enough grip on anything underneath them, and no way to stay upright as they worked each other harder and harder- no, the lake would no longer do for the kind of fucking she wanted. The kind he wanted too if she’d guessed correctly on the predatory intent in his eyes that was mirroring her own.

Cassian pulled out of her in a fluid motion and she hissed at that too. At the slight sting as he left and then again when the current swirled under them to her too sensitive skin. Then without warning, his arms wrapped her up to his chest, and Cassian brought them out of the water.

He set her down on shaky legs, her body still ramped from the unfinished sex and skin chilled from being wet and bare on a mountaintop. Cassian was quick in pulling out a towel from his pack- one she had no idea he’d been carrying this whole time. After she handed back the towel to him, body still damp but no longer as wet and cold as before, Cassian pointed at the sleeping bundle and told her to get in. She listened without asking how he planned to make them both fit. She’d let him finish toweling off first.

Answers came in the form of a zip on the side of the fluffy contraption that she hadn’t noticed. As Cassian pulled it free, more cloth and filling fell out, and Nesta realized there was indeed enough room for them to share the pack.

Joy at knowing she wouldn’t have to deal with the hard, ground floor at night almost made her forget why they were here in the first place. Why they had left the lake so quickly and interrupted from what would have been a most interesting joining. Almost, but not quite.

Not at all actually when Cassian looked over her again, at the breasts on display, and at the only part of her covered by the blanket from her waist down. Cassian’s look alone had her core growing hotter, aching with need as she felt her wetness grow.

Cassian smirked at her, no doubt scenting her arousal from that one look.

Smug bastard.

But he didn’t tease her as he eased himself in beside her, laying her down before climbing over her.

“How do you want it?,” he asked gruffly, lips brushing over her neck, her jaw, her too tight skin almost bursting with longing.

Words failed her at that moment though. How to voice her desire for him, just how much she ached to be filled with him, and not come off as completely undone. But she’d been undone by Cassian long before they’d shared a bed together. Long before he’d even kissed her and his lips had been like fire reignited against her skin.

Nesta had been undone and ruined for Cassian the moment he’d tasted the skin on her neck as a human woman, leaning close to the heat of the fireplace behind them, lust and something more snapping stronger between them.

“Do whatever you want,” she breathed, still not quite sure how she could breathe so calmly with how close they were. Almost nose to nose that she could count out exactly eight flecks of amber in his left eye, seven in his right. Some of his hair was drying and a few strands fell over his face, brushing over his eyes and her cheek. Before she could tell herself not to, her hands were already rising up to tuck the silky black strands behind his ear.

Cassian stilled as her fingers grazed the underside of his jaw, still holding the bottom of his hair now looped behind an arched ear. Then, so slowly she almost cried out in anticipation, Cassian nudged his face a few inches, leaning into her palm and pressing a soft kiss to its middle. A barely there kiss, a phantom touch, but she felt it like lightning had struck her palm and traveled all the way down her arm, hitting straight into her chest.

It wasn’t often that they indulged in...that. That being the softness in between their joinings. The tenderness she did not allow herself to wield and him to bask in. Nesta realized though, in that moment, how much they both had needed it. Had craved it.

The sex was world imploding for her. Him too she knew. But she would be lying to herself if she didn’t admit she longed for more, even if she knew that could never be. And Cassian wasn’t the problem.

She was.

If she let him, Cassian would stay in her bed long after being spent on each other’s ecstasy. If she let him, he would hold her, gentle and soft in all the ways their couplings were the opposite. If...but she never would.

Cassian did not need Nesta in the way that Nesta needed Cassian. Cassian was all things good, all things right in the world, and Nesta’s world had always been anything but that. Gone were the days when she could fantasize about being a sweet princess who would be saved by a dashing knight to save her from the fearsome monster who’d made her his prey.

Nesta was the monster. Nesta did not need saving by Cassian.

Cassian needed saving from her.

But perhaps, here, in this rugged terrain with not another soul around them for miles she could pretend. She might let herself indulge in the fantasy a little while longer.

That she was not this wretched mess that Cassian was so sure would heal and one day not be broken. That she could let Cassian hold her and she could touch him with gentleness and not have him shrink away from her in horror. Here in this vast unknown, Nesta and Cassian could just be them, with no one to judge or condemn either of them for what they wanted deep in their hearts.

So Nesta let herself forget and raised her neck to kiss him softly. A gentle kiss if they’d ever shared one before. It might have been their first since he’d pressed his lips to hers on that battlefield almost two years ago.

To her shock Cassian gave in with a groan, soft and reverent as his mouth moved on hers, so delicately she could have cried from it.

“Answer me,” he finally whispered, a broken male’s plea against her swollen lips.

“I told you. Whatever you want.” It was an impatient demand, one she knew did not tell him what she needed. But she figured she would let Cassian do whatever he was in the mood for. As long as the end result was him deep inside of her, driving her to brink of collapse, she cared little for how he’d take her.

“You said that to me once before. And I told you that’s not very fun. Do you remember?” As if to remind her of that first time they’d slept together, at the palace atop the Court of Nightmares, Cassian drew a hand up to her breast. Pinching her nipple just as he’d done with her then, her back arching in want from the sting of the pull and the pleasure of the sensation.

She did remember. It had been world shattering for her then too, that first time, and she had known from that one time alone, nothing and no one would ever be enough for her again. But she had no intention of letting Cassian in on that. So she dragged her hand out of his hair, creeping down his chest, his flexed stomach, and made to grab-

Cassian was faster. Twisting just so to circle her wrist and pin it down behind her head.

“Nesta,” he growled out a warning.

“Fine,” she relented, almost whining at how long this was taking for her to just get him inside of her. “Fuck me like you did when I told you that. Like you did at the palace. Do that.”

Cassian’s face beheld an amused smile and she almost shied away from how brazen a request it was. “Whatever Lady Death needs,” he finally said.

She could have rolled her eyes at that comment. Probably did show something like it on her face, because Cassian huffed a laugh as he let go of her wrist and snaked it across the planes of her stomach, down to the apex of her thighs.

A groan caught in his throat as he cupped her, and Nesta hips arced up slightly at the unexpected touch, only coming down as Cassian soothed her with idle strokes along her folds.

Soft, lazy, and not at all what she needed in that moment. So Nesta ground her hips up against his palm, only for Cassian to pull back completely, kneeling between her spread thighs as perhaps punishment for being too demanding.

“Greed will get you nowhere,” he admonished, his fingers tickling slowly up the underside of her thigh.

“So what will?,” she challenged. Perhaps not the wisest decision as Cassian leveled her with a calculating stare, mapping her breasts and flushed skin as he would any battleground. How to conquer as swift as possible, how to ruin with each timed attack of his fingers. His tongue perhaps being the first break against her fortress until the rest of him could follow suit.

Cassian did not answer her though. Instead he went back to her core, sliding two fingers up along the outside of her folds, joining atop the hood of her sex but never quite touching it fully. It drove her absolutely mad as he did this over and over, taunting that arch of sensitive flesh but never giving her what she wanted.

“So beautiful. So fucking wet. Is this for me, Nesta?,” he rasped as he slid two fingers inside of her easily. Nesta held in the moan, biting her lip and squeezing her eyes shut as he brought his other hand to press and rub her swollen bud that had been pleading for his attention.

To answer truthfully would have repercussions- taunts and arrogant comments on how good he was making it for her. Not answering may mean he’d torture her longer and draw out the teasing to an unbearable degree.

“You know it is,” she finally admitted.

Oh he liked that. So much so that Cassian gave her a broad smile, teeth glinting white in only the moonlight, and the beauty of it nearly stole her breath away.

And then he withdrew his fingers from her, bringing them up so that they could both see the wetness coating them. He was a fiend she decided then. An absolute, filthy fiend as he slid the two fingers against each other, testing her wetness and want, before lifting them to his mouth and tasting her on them.

“Well you certainly taste like it,” he finally said after he was done.

Nesta snarled at the audacity and would have started grabbing for him again if he didn’t fix her with a stare that was so heated, so tantalizing, it had chills running over her skin.

“Turn around then.”

The command alone could have sent her careening over into climax with all the promise it held. Cassian’s tone was dark, so sensual that she briefly forgot to move onto her front, so enraptured she was by the male kneeling before her. Thankfully Cassian seemed to pick up on it, hefting her up by the waist and gently spinning her onto her stomach for her.

She knew the view before him would be his own undoing, just as Cassian, sweaty, shirtless and panting in the middle of training was hers.

“Just like last time?,” he asked, kissing a path up from the bottom of her spine to the eight-pointed star that bound them together. He rested his lips there longer than he needed to before brushing aside her hair and pressing a final kiss to the nape of her neck.

Nesta didn’t know if she could keep the tremor out of her voice but she’d do her best. “Just like last time,” she affirmed.

Cassian growled in approval, lifting her hips off the bottom of the sleeping bag as he straddled her from behind.

“But,” she started, and Cassian stopped as soon as he heard it.

That he would end this all with even the slightest of hesitation on her part hit something deep in her heart. Memories she’d smothered long ago of traveling hands and ripping skirts that she didn’t want to recall in this moment.

Nesta tried again, ignoring the horror that had resurfaced unexpectedly in her mind. “But, don’t hold back like last time. I want all of you, unrestrained.”

Cassian let out a noise of shock, or perhaps it was arousal. She turned her head to look at him from behind her shoulder, and amusement shone on his face.

“I would have hurt you last time,” he explained. He was right, she knew that. Larger than any male she’d ever taken, coupled with the fact that she was a lot smaller than him and he too thick for her, she knew it would have hurt her had he not prepared her body slowly that first time.

But this was no longer their first time together. And if Nesta let herself dare to wish, she would hope that they would never part, not just for sex, but for everything else between them that was still unfinished.

“Maybe,” she admitted, “but you won’t anymore. And besides, I’m not afraid of a little pain.”

That got his attention. “You like pain, Nes?,” he chuckled as he asked, palms roving over the smooth expanse of her back in deliberate strokes along the sides of her spine. Kneading and pressing in all the right spots that she moaned at the small massage instead of answering.

“Not like,” she amended herself, “but I don’t mind it.” And then, just to get his blood boiling for all the teasing she’d been put through, Nesta added, “But I can like it if it’s done right.” The last bit was both a confession from her and challenge to him.

Pain and pleasure mingling together in a heady blend always worked for Nesta to heighten her senses with whatever she was doing in the bedroom. She didn’t need it every time, certainly not when Cassian alone was more than enough to utterly break her apart with each climax he gave her. But she did like it to some degree, and she knew Cassian wouldn’t judge her for it.

Cassian seemed to appreciate the bait she’d dangled before him, promptly dropping his head down to bite her shoulder in a quick nip that left her hissing. When his tongue flicked out to soothe the reddened skin, she knew he understood her then. Knew he’d know exactly how to make it hurt and burn, with pleasure and pain, just for her.

She felt him grip his cock behind her, rubbing it between her folds before aligning himself to her drenched entrance. When he didn’t move further, Nesta wriggled her ass back into him, and one of his hands came down to slap against the cheek, holding her away in a rough grip that did little to soothe the sting of his palm.

Nesta couldn’t help it. She moaned, loud and only slightly smothered by the ground underneath her.

“Like that don’t you?,” he murmured, knowing she’d never answer yes.

Yes she’d liked that very much...too much.

Cassian shifted his hips, lifting her own up slightly off the ground to meet him better, and then he surged forward until he was completely sheathed.

Nesta didn’t know how each time they joined it felt like the first time. New and good and unexpected. Every time she felt different, better, even if they were to do the exact same thing over and over. It felt perfect in those moments, those stilled barely there moments between him entering her and then starting to move.

That moment of just being joined, being one with each other, never ceased to take her breath away. As if they’d been forged of the same fire that licked over her skin and made her feel warm and aching all over. As if whatever Gods had crafted her, had kept him in mind. How well he would fit in her, how perfectly she would take him, and how easily she would lose herself in him.

Thoughts of perfection and destiny quickly faded from her mind though as Cassian began thrusting in earnest into her. He was letting go, just like she’d asked for- at least, as much as he was allowing himself be.

Garbled moans and half screams filled the night air amidst his own grunts as he hit deep into her walls. So intoxicating and yet...something was missing. He was still locked away, not fully taking her in the way she knew he could do if she gave him full permission.

But she had told him to let go completely and he hadn’t listened, so now Nesta would need to change tactics. She clenched her inner muscles around him once, twice, and Cassian snarled at her, hands tightening their grip on her hips as if that would stop her from teasing him.

It was an impressive attempt though, she’d give him that, and Nesta laughed softly as she clenched around him again for good measure.

“Witch,” he snarled again, “You’ll ruin it all if you keep doing that.”

“Fuck me harder and I’ll stop,” she shot back.

“You’ll get hurt,” he grunted, and to her irritation, slowed down his thrusts as if to prove a point. Nesta leaned up on her elbows and turned her head to look at him.

He was panting lightly, not from exertion but perhaps restraint. On himself, she realized, for that was full blown lust in her eyes to a depth he’d never let her see before. His hair framed his face in a wild, wind torn way, and she knew it was from what they were doing, and not the still air around them. That air was charged with something heated and sharp as their eyes met. Understanding on her part and remorse in his own. And then he pulled out of her in one fluid motion and Nesta had to strangle the urge inside of her that was ready to beg from him to come back.

“I’m fine,” she told him softly, perhaps more for his sake than hers.

“I don’t think so,” he admitted, and before she could strike down the truth he’d spilled, “and that’s fine.”

“No one expects...” he stopped, and then amended before continuing on, “I don’t expect you to be fine. I’d be worried if you were. But I don’t want to take you too roughly right now if-”

“Stop,” she interjected, patience completely gone, “You don’t want? What about what I want? You don’t get to decide what is good for me and what isn’t, what I can handle and what I can’t. Only I can make those decisions.”

“Nesta,” he soothed, trying to calm her down. Only she was beyond listening to reason, beyond caring.

“Do you know what I want Cassian?,” she asked.

Not waiting for a reply, Nesta pushed up with the flat of her palms until her back hit his chest, and turned her neck to look up at him. Cassian’s hands glided over her bare skin, wrapping a solid vice of muscle across her stomach to hold her to him. Everything was too hot, too much as she really felt the warmth seeping into her body from his chest, from his arm over her stomach that just brushed the swell of her breasts. And his breath, light and warm as well, fanning over her cheek as he beheld her a few inches below his face, was almost enough to get her completely calmed down.

Almost.

Nesta told him sharply, “I am not a doll. You never treated me like I was breakable. Not like everyone else I know did and I liked that. Don’t start now.”

Cassian sighed, his head dropping down to brush his lips across her shoulder in a solemn kiss. In apology. “I’m not trying to Nes, but you had a rough couple of days. A hell week really. I’m not saying you’re breakable,” and he fixed his stare resolutely on her. “I just want to make sure you’re alright.”

Nesta didn’t say anything to that, instead wrapping her arm behind his neck and pulling him towards her. The kiss was slow, burning, and everything their heated frenzy earlier had not been. How long had it been since she’d let herself enjoy just this? Just...kissing him. The simplicity of it all.

But then Cassian nipped at her lower lip and just like that, she was liquid in his arms. Warmth pooled more and more in her core and she extracted one of her hands from his hair down to his hardened length. Gripping the broad head of him, she ran a finger over the slit, eliciting a hiss from Cassian that skittered over her skin like she wanted his hands to do.

Nesta murmured against his neck as she continued stroking him, “Do you know what I want?,” she repeated.

Cassian groaned a deep sound in the back of his throat as she gripped him tighter, just enough to bank on that line between pleasure and pain that she herself loved to toe. A line she was willing to bet Cassian could wrap her up in and ruin her with.

“I want bruises,” she whispered into his skin. “I want to see them for days afterwards, everywhere you touched me, and remember everything you did and how you left your mark on me while you fucked me.”

Cassian stopped moving and stopped breathing as he let her words settle into him. She peeked up at his expression through her lashes, wondering if what she’d asked for was too forward, even for them.

It wasn’t.

Cassian pressed a bruising kiss to her lips without warning, more teeth than tongue but she didn’t mind. His hand came out to wrap across the back of her neck and then he was pushing her back down to lay on her stomach. Perhaps it was the knowledge that she’d get exactly what she’d asked for now, but suddenly the fabric under her breasts and navel felt too scratchy- it was teasing her sensitive skin with every little jostle she made.

Nesta felt his fingers ghost down over her spine, over their shared ink and then the swell of her backside, resting in between her legs to cup her from behind. She moaned into her arm, stifling the sound before she could embarrass herself any further.

Cassian crept over her then, situating the hard planes of his body over her back, hand still slowly caressing her core in lazy circles. Just when she thought he’d finally start with her, Cassian came up to her ear and whispered down to her.

“Who does this belong to Nesta?,” he asked, sliding two fingers into her sex.

She whimpered at the motion, the easy slickness that he was feeling around him.

“Answer,” the command came to her. It wasn’t often that she let males use that dominating tone on her, or even bothered to let herself bend to it without putting up a fight. But giving up control to Cassian was a different sort of release, as welcome as it was heady. “Answer or I’ll stop right now Nesta,” he lightly threatened.

“You,” she finally breathed out.

“Good girl,” he crooned, the praise going straight to her core, making her painfully aware of how wet and unfilled she still was. She got a kiss on her spine for her answer and if he hadn’t moved away so quickly, it could have been her lips too. But he was denying her, teasing her all over again.

“And this?,” he asked, rubbing her smoothly over her bundle of nerves. "Who does your pleasure belong to Nesta?”

“You,” she quietly revealed.

Finally, he pushed his cock to her entrance, not quite entering, but the head of him just starting to stretch her opening slightly.

“And who rides you hard enough to make you come Nesta?” His hands crept into her hair, tangling into a mess as he clenched around the roots.

“You.”

It was all he needed to move forward, sliding in and in and in until she was so filled she could have screamed. When his hips snapped, she knew she was done for.

Uninhibited, wild, and unchecked was all that Cassian had become then. All that he had made her become too with how vigorously he began pumping into her. Harder and harder he rammed into her, hands pulling back sharply on her hair until her back arched so much so that she could look up at him above her.

He slowed to leisurely thrusts as he let go of her hair, instead circling his hand across her throat. Not enough to make her cry out, but squeezing with just enough pressure to make her keen backwards into him, lifting her head up in a silent plea that he answered as he slanted his mouth down to hers.

He tasted like her, at least some part of him did since he’d put his fingers to his mouth while still coated with her essence. He also tasted like embers and mountain-kissed wind and Nesta knew even if she kissed him everyday for the rest of her immortal life, it would not be enough to sate the longing he’d awakened in her.

“Cassian,” she whispered raggedly, no longer able to form enough words with all the intoxicating pleasure erupting through her body.

Thankfully, Cassian had never needed Nesta’s words to know what she wanted from him.

“I know. I know,” he murmured into her hair.

He didn’t let go of the hand circling her throat, even when he pushed her back to lay flat on her front again. This time, Cassian pressed his complete weight down on her, and damn it all but she had never felt more alive feeling pushed like that. His hand from under her closed tighter her around her neck and a broken sound escaped her lips. His other hand drifted down between her legs, pleasuring her as he pressed his weight at her back completely on her.

There was no part of them that wasn’t touching as he began to move again inside her. And he when he returned to the pace he’d left off at, hard enough for his balls to slap her skin as he pounded into her, his muscled chest heaving along her back, Nesta knew she’d come with his name screaming from her lips within minutes.

She had been right.

Just as she’d felt Cassian’s breath begin to shutter, she knew he was close, and so did he, as he moved his fingers faster against her and began to coax a climax from her in time with his thrusts. Just the right angle timed with a rolling of her swollen bud had her crying out for him and only him, over and over until she crested into climax. It was so jarring she screamed into the night, the echo bouncing around the open mountain air the high wore on and on until she boneless under him.

It didn’t take long for him to follow her down, gasping her name in a chant as he spilled into her so forcefully with his thrusts, that some of it began to leak out onto her thighs long before he left her channel.

And then...true silence, save for their quiet panting as time began to speed back up to reality.

“Gods,” he gasped finally, pressing a chaste kiss over her tattoo, barely able to keep his weight off of her anymore. She wondered what he would say if she told him she wouldn’t care if he completely fell over her, just as long as they never stopped touching.

“I know,” she conceded quietly. And that was all she said, all she could say given how spent she’d become.

They did not move for some time. Perhaps from the force of their climaxes that had left them weak or perhaps because they didn’t know who would move away first and declare that rift once more.

It was always Cassian who left her in her bedroom. But this was not her bedroom in the House of Wind and they no longer had the luxury of separate beds. Really, they didn’t have the luxury of a bed at all but who was really keeping track. Certainly not Nesta who could still feel the jagged edges of small rocks that she’d slept on top of for the past week aching in her muscles.

When Cassian rolled off of her, she almost pleaded at him to not, to stay against her forever, bare skin to bare skin, forever entwined.

She peeked a glance beside her, arm thrown over his forehead as his chest continued heaving, his skin now glistening lightly with a thin layer of sweat. She had to be in worse condition, hair likely frizzed from his pulling and lips swollen and flushed. She couldn’t find it in herself to care though. Not when it meant she had been marked in some way by him, even if the signs would eventually fade from her skin with time.

Nesta turned on her side if only to look at him properly. She’d get away with it too, considering his eyes were shut tight and he’d never catch her ogling.

She wanted more though. Couldn’t get enough of him, of them, and she knew that it didn’t matter how roughly he’d just taken her, how hard she’d come, hard enough to see stars temporarily. It would never be enough.

Cassian opened his eyes unexpectedly and turned on his side too then, facing her. If he didn’t say a word, she would have been fine with it, would have been content to just stare into his eyes and get lost in the moss and amber that called to her like nothing ever had before.

“Are you alright?” A shadow of worry lingered on his face. “I wasn’t too rough was I?”

“I’m fine Cassian. Stop worrying about me.”

In fact, if you want to be worried about something, just fuck me again and I’ll feel loads better.

Cassian reached out a tentative hand to stroke along her neck and Nesta felt it then. The soreness from where he’d gripped her neck.

“You’re bruising,” he said, horror alight in his eyes.

“I asked for that,” she reminded him gently. But Cassian couldn’t stop being transfixed by her skin, and though she couldn’t see the light purple beginning to bloom, she could feel it’s tightness. A subtle ache which may have been upsetting for some, but for Nesta all it did was spur her desire into molten ore again, and just like that, she was ready for him.

“Nesta...,” he began, clearly about to chide her and likely ask to examine her neck again.

He needed the distraction, clearly she thought, still not moving away from where he’d marked her. So Nesta sidled closer and tucked under his own neck, leaving him no room to fuss over her anymore. She pressed her lips softly to the hard knot at his throat and then an open mouthed kiss to his collarbone.

“Mmm, that’s nice Nes, but let me just look.” He tried again, inching his hands to her neck, but she was quicker.

She deftly twisted his fingers with her own, interlacing them and moving them to rest at her waist. “If you want to use your hands so badly, I can think of better ways to put them to work,” she whispered against his skin, licking a tendril of black ink across his chest.

He peered down at her for that comment, and to her delight, it seemed to work as he let go of her hand to rest along her midriff. He then glided down over her navel, erupting gooseflesh all over her body, and then rested his hand firmly at the top of her sex, not quite down along the folds where she wanted him.

“You’re still soaked with me,” he sighed, pulling himself closer until she could slip one of her legs between his long, muscled ones.

Nesta smiled, still too cuddled up to his chest to look at him properly, knowing how handsome he’d look with the small smirk that would no doubt be playing along his lips.

“Is that a problem?,” she asked coyly, running a hand down his chiseled stomach, marveling at the muscle that flexed underneath.

“Fuck no,” he growled, finally teasing two fingers down her slit, gathering his seed and her essence from her opening and then slowly rubbing it along the apex of her sex.

She mewled at the sensation, just this side of heaven until Cassian stopped and flick her sharply, eliciting a hiss from her at the small hurt. At the sting that bordered on pleasure, bunched into a lustful combination that had her canting her hips along his hand as he continued working her wetness. Nesta dug her hand deeper into his chest when Cassian slipped two fingers inside and curled upward. The shock at the feeling had her nails pushing sharply into his skin, so hard that she smelled blood in the air and could faintly make out arcs of red on his chest when she moved her hand away.

“I don’t mind,” he reassured her. And then with a savage grin he leaned close enough to brush his lips to hers, before adding, “I also like it when you mark me Nes. Hard enough so that I can see them days afterwards and remember how good you felt when I fucked you.”

Nesta couldn’t handle it anymore, this relentless teasing with his hand and his words pushing her closer to another climax. She grabbed his hand and moved it away from her thighs, pushing him back down from his side, careful of the wings underneath them. And then Nesta climbed over his powerful legs astride him in the way she’d been craving for since she’d entered the lake with him.

Cassian’s hands came up to rest on the tops of her thighs, digging into the supple flesh that she hoped he’d mark too.

“You didn’t even let me taste you,” he told her with a bemused pout.

Nesta laughed at that, gliding her nails softly down his chest, making sure to grind her lower half against his as she did so. Cassian’s hips bucked up to her, sending warmth pooling in her core at his hard, hot length brushed against her ass.

Cassian’s hands skittered over her stomach and Nesta fought for control to not squeal at how much it tickled. No doubt if Cassian ever found out, he’d never leave her alone. But thoughts of all that quickly fled her mind as he came to cup her breasts with both hands, a greedy look taking over his face. Kneading and tugging just how she liked it, Nesta groaned quietly at the sensation, grinding down harder on him as he canted up to her.

“I love seeing this,” he murmured before rising up at the waist to lock his mouth around her breast, caressing the nipple in small teasing licks that had her whining.

“Seeing what?,” she managed to ask, almost lost to all reason except for how good he felt under her and how good his mouth felt on her pebbled skin.

Cassian switched to the other side of her chest, ignoring her question and lavishing all of his attention on her other breast. It left her wanting, so much so that she grabbed his hand and placed it brazenly on her other one. He chuckled at that but heeded her desire with a firm squeeze, the vibration around her nipple sending her gasping as she dove her hands into his snarled hair. Harder she tugged on the night black strands as he continued licking and kissing at her breasts, switching between them over and over until her skin was raw and reddened from his mouth. As were his lips which she hungrily captured to her own, savoring the taste of his skin mingled with the scent of her own.

“I love seeing you atop me, ready to ride me. It’s the perfect view. I can see your beautiful breasts,” he moaned, palming one of them roughly again. “You don’t know how much I loved these, from the moment I first saw you in your old home as a human. You don’t know what it did to me.”

Nesta had some idea, always catching his quick glances down that he thought he was being discreet about. She’d hated how men leered at her before- whether they were stupid boys or older men. She hated them all as they sized up her body like a prize to be taken. To hurt and touch without her permission.

But when Cassian would look at her...

Even without having ever taken a male to bed before, barely even enjoying kissing them, Nesta had lost all reason and propriety from the moment Cassian’s heated gaze had met her own. She had wanted his lips on her, his lips at her breasts, his mouth moving between her legs in the way that her romance novels regaled about. She wanted him, but more than that, she wanted him to want her. To take her over and over in every way she could tell he wanted to as well. But she had never let herself act on it, save for that moment of weakness when he’d come to deliver a letter for the human Queens.

That day had been her undoing.

But this...what they were doing now.

This was her unleashing.

“What did it do to you?,” she asked, breathless with the knowledge that his answer would likely shatter every ounce of control she was trying to keep, and she’d want to start riding him rather than letting him prolong his foreplay.

Cassian kissed fire up the column of her throat, sucking hard on the delicate skin above her pulse point. “I wanted to taste them, taste all of you. I wanted you on your knees, sucking me down your throat just how you do now, hard and deep, and then I wanted to see how perfect you’d look when I came all over them.”

Mother above. So crude, and yet, she couldn’t help but relish in it.

“Would you have let me?,” he whispered along her clavicle, pressing a chaste kiss to her shoulder.

Nesta thought about it for a few moments as he grazed his nose slowly along her throat, content to let him explore in a way she didn’t allow much back in Velaris. She would have, she decided. Even if she’d never been turned Fae, with the way he had flirted and fought back to her from their first day together, and the way she’d been enraptured by his presence, she’d have let him take her to his bed.

“Yes,” she said simply.

He backed up to face her properly with a small grin on his face that could only mean trouble. “You’re telling me,” he began incredulously, “that the woman who I met, as a human, who wore layers and layers of skirts, who hadn’t ever been with a male before, wouldn’t even let me kiss her, would have let me do all that?”

She snorted. “I would have let you kiss me. I just didn’t like your arrogance that day.”

Then, just to play with his ego a little more, Nesta leaned forward and purred in his ear, “If you’d returned another day without the attitude, I’d have let you do anything you wanted with me.”

“Anything?”

“Anything,” she confirmed.

Cassian gave her a wicked grin as he leaned back on the palms of his hands. “Would you have let me lift up those skirts and fuck you over your desk? What about these sweet, pretty lips?,” he traced a finger along the seam of her mouth and she darted out her tongue to swirl around it. “Would you have let me fuck them too? Swallow every drop I gave you?”

She shouldn’t have answered, not with the filth he was spewing that made her toes curl. But it couldn’t be helped- he’d see the truth in her eyes.

“I would,” she insisted. “I don’t know why you think I wouldn’t. If I hadn’t been taken by Hybern and turned-”

She stopped herself, realizing the mistake she’d made. How much she’d revealed about what lay in her heart. If he’d wanted to bed her as a human woman, she would have allowed it eagerly. If he’d wanted more, she would have wanted that too. But being turned by the Cauldron, coupled with Elain’s catatonic state and Feyre’s dangerous liaisons as spy in her former Court, had all left Nesta reeling. There had been no time for a relationship when her own head felt like it would burst with each day she lived in the strange Fae world of her youngest sister. She was just now beginning to acclimate to the new home.

There had been no time for Cassian, or so she told herself.

Cassian, of course, knew where she’d been going, but he didn’t push further, simply leaning forward to kiss her softly. She returned it with equal gentleness, ignoring the small voice in her head that was telling her to stop. That she’d set up their rules for a reason, to keep it only physical, and these lingering touches and kisses were not and should not be allowed.

“I wanted you so much after that day. I ached to have you,” he whispered raggedly against her lips. He didn’t need to tell her which day. The day she’d kneed him in the balls if only to emerge victorious from a situation where she wasn’t wholly sure who had won and who had lost by the end of it. The day she’d almost kissed him and would have gladly let him take her to bed, had reason and shock not been at the forefront of her mind.

“I did too,” she admitted quietly, before tangling her hands into his hair again, driving her tongue around his in a wicked, sensual dance.

“Did you think of me?,” he asked, grinding his hips into hers again, his hand coming to rest at her hip in a light grip. “Did you slip those lovely fingers in between your legs and fuck yourself with them, thinking about me? Did I make you wet Nesta?”

She moaned at the richness of his voice, at all the terrible, delicious things it was saying to her. All the things he was asking and being utterly right about. Her hand hadn’t been enough to forget him and his muscled body, that voice or those eyes, but she’d curved her fingers into herself each night afterwards hoping it would.

“That’s not an answer,” he reminded her, nipping at the tip of her pointed ears in punishment.

“Yes,” she murmured finally. “I was soaked every night thinking about you. And it didn’t matter how much I touched myself, it was never enough.”

There should have been shame, or at least some embarrassment at admitting something so personal. But Nesta could not find it in herself to summon any of it, and the opportunity left as soon as Cassian whispered that he too, just couldn’t be sated by his hand when he thought of her.

“We’re a sad pair aren’t we?,” Cassian finally said after they’d stared at each other for a few moments.

For so many reasons, yes, we are.

Cassian cleared his throat, realizing what he’d just said out loud. “I mean, I wanted you and you wanted me, and we never acted on it. Think of all the great sex we could have been having.”

A poor attempt at a cover up if she’d ever seen one, but she laughed anyways because he was right about that too. Things certainly would have been very different if she’d pursued anything at all with him as a human. Maybe the transition to becoming Fae would have been more palatable, more bearable.

“You’re disgusting, but you’re right. It would have been great. Such a shame really,” she teased laughingly.

“I think we make up for it rather well though, don’t you?” There was a mischievous glint in his eyes, and the could have sworn she saw stars dance in them. He palmed her ass for good measure, as if to prove his point further.

There was no need. Nesta was already two steps ahead of him as she lightly pushed him to lay down, locking her legs tighter around his hips.

Cassian’s hands skimmed over her waist, drawing a rattled breath from her before they rested calmly at the curves of her hips. Nesta reached for his cock, eager and demanding behind her, and lifted herself up with Cassian’s help before impaling herself down on it.

A high-pitched gasp escaped her lips before she could gather her thoughts, check herself and her pounding heart to calm down. She’d done this so many times before, and yet, somehow it felt different. Freer. Perhaps it was where they were and the fact that they’d shared so much in the past couple hours than Nesta had ever shared with anyone in her entire life.

Cassian seemed to be struggling to keep calm in a similar predicament underneath her. His hands kept their grip loose around her hips, but his eyes were wild with desire. But that gentleness would not do for her. She laid her own hand atop his fingers, and pressed them in hard.

“Bruises,” she reminded him lightly. This time though, he didn’t stop himself from digging painfully into her waist, and she thanked him secretly for giving into her convoluted desires.

Nesta laid her palms over his chest, a dark thrill racing along her spine as Cassian looked up at her in wonder. Wonder and something more that she didn’t want to linger too long on.

“Nesta,” he rasped. “Nesta.”

“I know,” she whispered back, rising up slightly and taking him deeper.

Nesta moved on Cassian slowly, slower than she’d ever bothered to do before, luxuriating in the slide of his thick cock stretching her with every flex of her hips.

Deeper.

She took him in all the way to the hilt, until she could feel him hit that elusive spot in her most innermost walls. Nesta hissed as the head of him brushed it, and sharp, shocking pleasure rippled through her core and her stomach. Cassian seemed to have caught onto what she’d felt, and she felt him adjust his legs and then begin ramming up into her as she came crashing down.

“Oh, Gods right there,” she gasped.

Surely Nesta was leaving claw marks down his chest, the tang of his blood filling the small space of air between their slick bodies. But Nesta was too far gone to stop, grinding down on him harder as he bucked up into her, sharp snarls and breathy gasps punctuating the air in a seductive call and answer. For everything she threw at him, he gave her all of it back just as well. Better even. Harder. Rougher.

It was exactly what she needed. He had known. She hadn’t, but he had. Which was why he had let her take the reigns, literally, for this settling of her soul as she let out every tangled emotion from the week’s events. As she rode him harder, faster, the only sounds between them were his occasional grunt and her own pants, marked with every obscene sound of the slide of his cock in her wet heat.

And Nesta knew, as she crested into another glorious climax, her world would never again be the same. Never again would another male be a good substitute in her bed for this male underneath her. Never again would her body crave and lust for anyone other than the warrior whose mouth tasted like heaven and body burned like hell. Not as she came with a cry of his name, back arched and nails gouging into his skin, as if his very lifeblood was the only thing left as further proof of how deeply enmeshed they had become.

Cassian’s eyes were shut long after they’d come down from their high, his chest moving with his deep breaths against her. She would have thought him sleeping if his hand hadn’t been caressing her thigh in soft, deliberate circles. Nesta couldn’t find it in herself to say anything either though, so she didn’t do anything more than climb off of him and curl into his side.

For the heat. That was what she told herself. And when Cassian looped an arm under her waist and pulled her back to his chest, she said it to herself again.

Just body heat.

She didn’t know how long she stayed awake, pressed up against him, simply enjoying how right it felt. How many hours had passed, Nesta had no idea. She also didn’t know what they would become the moment they returned to Velaris. Perhaps it would be Nesta who would start the first argument in her goal to push him away. Maybe Cassian. But probably Nesta. If only to keep her pride intact and act as if he hadn’t fought closer into her heart this week. With how he’d stayed and listened through it all, and then held her so gently she thought she too may break in the way he seemed to fear she would.

Here though, was not Velaris. Here was peace, of a different sort. She did not bother to think of tomorrow in this place. Right now she just wanted to stay with Cassian in every way she’d denied herself back in the House of Wind. Let him wrap her up in-

“You’re supposed to be sleeping,” he spoke in a hushed tone into her shoulder. And then he dropped a quick kiss there too, for good measure, as if his words weren’t enough to garner her attention, so he’d switched to the physical touch they always seemed to work best with.

“I’m just thinking,” she admitted.

All the things I shouldn’t be thinking about.

“Such as?,” he asked playfully, knocking his head against the crevice of her neck.

You. Always you.

“Nothing. Go to sleep.”

Cassian slid the hand curved under her to trace the underside of her breast with careful control. “I don’t want to sleep,” he told her in a low, deep voice that was enough to make her skin tighten. Her breasts ache. Her core pound with need, all over again.

She huffed a laugh. “Of course. What do you want then?”

Cassian didn’t answer, showing her instead. He unfurled the wing draped over her body and rose to loom over her. His wings, usually tucked in tight when she was with him, were flared out on both sides as he lifted himself over her body. Black as night, black as death itself maybe, they were beautiful. She’d been captivated by his wings from the moment they’d met, so powerful and yet delicate, they contradicted everything just by being. She met his hazel eyes, glowing like honeyed faelights, and did not balk from the stare that likely sent others scattering. The silky strand of hair falling over the scar on his eyebrow did little to lessen the command and raw sensuality of his gaze.

A conquering lord of war. Her very own. Maybe not forever, maybe not even once the week was out. But for now...yes.

Hers.

Cassian’s kiss was rough and demanding and the compulsion to join so soon again beat between them like their pounding hearts. His hands trailed up the sides of her body, caressing her skin with callouses that soothed just as much as they incited desire. Those hands made their way to her hair, tangling gently as he continued kissing her.

Nesta’s own hands couldn’t help but itch forward and clasp firmly behind his neck. Holding him to her as he was doing with her face as well, pulling lightly at the hair, just enough to make him growl against her lips.

But she swallowed his half snarl with a moan of her own as he ground his hips into her core. Slow, calculated, taunting undulations of his hips that he knew were the root of all the unfettered noises escaping from her mouth. He was making her wild, ravenous with a hunger she’d never known she could live without before him.

Cassian broke their kiss first, but his forehead was touched to her own in an almost bow. “I love those little sounds you make when I touch you,” he murmured over her jaw, dragging a hand down her neck and then lower to cup her breast. “So responsive.”

“Only to you,” she admitted. Recklessly admitted, because he hadn’t known that she was quiet with her previous bedmates save for a few cries here and there if they knew what they were doing. But Cassian was not a casual bedmate. Not a quick fuck. He was... a lover she supposed. She’d never had one before, never really contemplated if it was something she even wanted, but that was what they were, she realized.

Lovers.

Cassian drew back to take her in, take in the small confession, and something melted in his characteristically open expression. It paved the way for something even more tender, a look he rarely gave anyone, regardless of how affectionate he could be. And she just knew, it was only one she’d seen on him directed towards her. Something akin to a warm glow grew in her chest at the revelation.

And it was bliss.

Sheer, unadulterated, bliss when they joined again. Cassian had pulled her up, grasping her legs and placing them over his own with her back to his chest. She’d never ridden him this way, but from the first thrust up into her, Cassian’s hand banding across her stomach to keep her upright, she knew she may always take him like this from then on. It was a different sort of angle, a different sort of pleasure as he kept his thrusts shallow and drawn out. They moved as one, writhing along each other, Nesta’s hands tangling behind her head into his own locks.

If she pulled too hard for comfort, Cassian made no comments about it. In fact, they didn’t talk at all as Cassian’s lips were firmly attached to her neck, kissing, suckling, and leaving small bites and bruises just like she’d asked for. As he drove his hips up into hers again, dragging along a particular spot that she’d never paid attention to before, Nesta felt something tighten and burn inside of her. That pressure, unrelenting and intoxicating began to build, until it was almost unbearable for Nesta to do anything more than let Cassian buck up into her, her body almost limp with the pleasure that had built to a dizzying degree.

“Let go,” he whispered, dragging his hands down to rove over her legs, grasping the thighs that overlaid his own gently. “Let go Nesta.”

Nesta whimpered, as he did that thing again. Surging his cock upward against her walls, towards her front in a way he’d never tried before. “It’s too much,” she panted. “I can’t...I can’t.”

She could feel his smirk along her cheek, and Gods damn it all, but the arrogance alone made her grow even more wet. Cassian tilted her chin back and kissed her softly, the rhythm of his hips never faltering once. But that tenderness soon left them as the heat returned. As the passion erupted from her lips and into his, tongues clashing, and swallowed gasps in between.

He caught on quickly to what she wanted, this endless pursuit of pleasure, high as it made her feel, had grown too much and she needed an end. She needed release from the precipice she’d been kept on by Cassian’s wicked intent. He’d drawn out her pleasure to such a degree that she’d come to nearly sobbing when he finally gave into her whims.

The sinews on his arms tightened as he draped his arm across her waist, firmly grasping her hip, while his other hand palmed her breast roughly. Nesta could only hold on tighter, clasping her hands behind his neck as he began to fuck her with abandon.

She broke their kiss, unable to think as he thrust faster, more and more of that fiery ecstasy flooding her veins, until all that was, all that could ever be, was her and him till the very end. The sounds coming from her had edged into something more carnal than she’d ever allowed herself to utter. Cassian too was a male undone, almost frantic as he fucked her harder, his own groans having dissolved into pleasure of a different sort, an animalistic sort.

“Oh god,” she choked out, “Cassian..."

Cassian chuckled, his brutal pace unwavering as he flicked out his tongue to the tipped shell of her ear. “God or Gods, Nesta?,” he crooned, “Seems you’re not in control of your words.”

Nesta could not answer, could not explain the slip of her tongue had been from how horribly wrecked she felt. How horribly wrecked he was making her feel.

Cassian laughed again. A dark, sinful rasp of a laugh that heated her blood and traveled down to her core. “Am I your God Nesta?”

Nesta would blame it on being on the brink of climax if he ever asked her about her answer again. She’d regret it and curse herself for humiliating herself in such a way later. Right now though...

“Yes,” she keened. “You are.”

Cassian husked low into her ear, “Shall you be my goddess queen then, Nesta?”

“Yes,” she breathed. She could be his goddess. And he her warrior god of bloodshed. “Yes, Cassian.”

“Then come for me, my queen.”

His words threw her violently into climax, and she clenched around his pulsing member, fluid releasing from her as she screamed his name over and over. It lasted longer than ever before as Cassian kept driving up into her, his own release spurting out and mingling with hers, making her rise higher and higher as it became a never-ending torrent unleashing from her.

She did not know anything then save for a small vestige of self and sanity. The rest of her was too consumed by this male against her, ripping her soul from her body and infusing only his name as replacement. All she knew was Cassian, all she felt was Cassian, and all she held close to her heart was Cassian.

Nesta laid her head against Cassian’s shoulder as she caught her breath, his own breathing shuttered against her back. Eventually heat began to creep into her cheeks as she realized how wet everything was around them. She peeked down and beheld the liquid between her legs, smeared with his own seed and running all over his thighs as well.

“I’ve made a mess of you,” she remarked softly, remembering his own words to her once, now finally understanding what he’d meant.

Cassian stiffened, remembering too, but then he kissed her cheek lightly. “I like it,” he told her with a short laugh.

“We can’t sleep here tonight. It’s all...”

Wet, but she couldn’t say it. The sleeping bundle was utterly drenched in their release from this time, and scenting of their previous coupling as well. A beautiful, chaotic mess that they’d made which, as much as she enjoyed seeing, would not allow her to sleep soundly in.

Cassian groaned, lifting her off of him and softly placing her to his side. “There’s another one in the pack. Come on,” he said to her, getting up to his feet and reaching a hand down to haul her up.

They washed in the lake a second time that night, Cassian keeping his hands to himself and Nesta just barely restraining herself from tugging him close and kissing his lips. It wasn’t sex that she wanted again. No, she was perfectly sated now, and if the small tremors in her thigh were any indication, her body wouldn’t last another round anyways. She distracted her hands by washing their clothes in the lake, Cassian chuckling as he beheld her in only his spare shirt kneeling over the water and trying to get the dirt out.

His words wouldn’t stop replaying over and over in her head. Not when they crawled into the new sleeping bundle. Not when he kept as much distance in between their bodies as possible. Not when she gave into her weakness and pushed backwards into his side and not when he pulled her close, curling his body and wing over her.

He had said it like a prayer, like a hymn to only be uttered in a temple or perhaps a dais for a long forgotten deity. Yes, it had been when they were almost delirious on pleasure, and yes he hadn’t said it again.

But Nesta could not and would not forget the words he’d uttered to her, so gently his command had been as he’d ordered her to let herself fall into release for him. With him.

The words blazed fiercely in her heart long after she’d fallen asleep against him. Long after the next two days as they trained and coupled, sometimes in a frenzy, sometimes languid and slow. They burned and flourished, day into night, and night back into day, even when they left the mountain and returned to Velaris.

My queen, he had called her.

He made her believe it too all those months later on Solstice Night. And when she was sure he’d fallen asleep, those golden threads still shimmering between them, gilded with love and understanding, Nesta whispered her promise back against his heart.

“Your queen.”

~***~

Tagging: @bookstantrash @my-mad-fan-diary, @onceupona-chaos, @loosingdreams @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @queenestarcheron @queenofbloodshed @cassianscool @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @courtofjurdan @vasudharaghavan @sayosdreams @moe8 @arielle-reads @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @nahthanks @oversizedbats @swankii-art-teacher @inardour @rowaelinismyotp @starryblueskies7 @nestaarcher0n @vidalinav @nessiantrashh

347 notes • Posted 2021-03-06 19:49:38 GMT

I don’t see it as a romance, but I think Eris would be very protective of Elain. Like how Cassian and Azriel are for Feyre, I think Eris would be the brooding older brother for Elain that would always scare people away from her, especially if she visits the Autumn Court because people are mean there and he loves how sweet Elain is, like his mom, and he can’t stand anyone treating her poorly. And after everything with Jessminda, he vows to keep this woman safe for Lucien’s sake, in a way to make up for how he failed him the first time.

Damn I do be simping for Eris now too.

351 notes • Posted 2021-03-01 15:25:14 GMT

Suits

Notes: I can't believe I actually did this. It started as a harmless post by @nessiansimp and here we are. I did not edit this much. I just wrote it non-stop for 3 hours because I couldn't not. Also, I know the title is basic. I don't care. I'm obsessed with Suits right now so that's what you're getting. Also, I know nothing about law school except for Legally Blonde, Suits, and Google searches. So I apologize in advance for all the stuff I portray incorrectly.

Summary: Nesta is stressed the day before her first day of classes in Law School. She calls up a familiar face to set herself at ease, not realizing just what trouble she's about to get into. A student/teacher fic. Everyone is an adult!

Warnings: NSFW, swearing

~*~

Nesta turned her phone on and off again, for the sixth time in a row. She needed to get her head straight.

She'd be starting school again tomorrow. Her first day of law school. Her first day of law school.

Fuck, she needed a drink. Or dick. Preferably both.

But there was no way he was awake at...she glanced at the clock. Way past midnight. No way in hell.

It won't hurt to try.

No it definitely wouldn't. The worst that could happen was he didn't pick up, and Nesta went to bed like she should have done 3 hours ago. But the nerves...

The nerves were going to end her if she didn't let herself loose a little.

Picking up her phone one more time, dialing the number from memory, she lifted it to her ear, listening to the ring and wondering if she'd hear something different.

"Yeah?"

The voice was deep and masculine and utterly perfect. At least, she'd found it to be, from the second she'd heard it.

"Can you come over?" Nesta didn't bother with trivial cover-ups. She needed to sleep and she had no plans of using alcohol to get it done. Not the day before classes started. Mindblowing sex would just have to do for the night.

Nesta couldn't see his face, but she knew the grin that'd be playing on his face at her request. He'd say yes. He always did. And within fifteen minutes, she heard the knock on her apartment door, telling her that she had been right to call him.

He hadn't let her down yet.

Cassian looked just as good at two in the morning as he did at any normal hour of the day. Shirt clinging to his muscled torso, a peek of black ink at his collar that she knew crept all over his chest, back and arms. And the telltale leather jacket that had made her want him in the first place. It was either that or the hair. Or the hazel eyes. Maybe it was just all of him. He was too beautiful for words on most days, and in her current sleep-deprived state, Cassian looked like a god.

A smirk played on his lips as he asked her, "Are you going to stare all day or can I at least come in first before you jump me?"

Nesta rolled her eyes but moved away from the doorway to let him in. He snuck in a quick glance at her own attire and she inwardly cringed at the fact that she was wearing only an oversized T-shirt and no pants. Not that it really mattered considering what they were about to go on to do. But, that stupid smirk on his face, the knowing look in his eyes, had her irritated.

Insufferable ass. That was why she'd kept it so casual with him. Gods knew they'd tear each other to pieces if it ever became more than just physical between them.

Cassian didn't go to her bedroom, instead stopping in her small kitchenette, drinking from her bottle in the fridge. It was almost domestic to see it happen, and Nesta almost laughed at it. Almost even smiled at him and the sight of him like this.

Almost.

"Let's go, I have an early morning tomorrow," she called from the hallway, knowing he'd follow. He knew the layout of her small but functional apartment. She knew all about his too considering she preferred to go over to his place rather than he come to her.

She didn't like to show the cheap secondhand furniture she'd purchased with Emerie and Gwyn's help from a thrift store. Or the fraying carpet and cramped hallways. It was home for her. At least for now. But that didn't mean she didn't feel slightly embarrassed by it each time Cassian visited.

She likely never would have felt so strongly about it, had she not gone home with him one night instead of the other way around.

Condo didn't seem like a good enough word. Cassian was rich. In all the ways that Nesta's family had been a long time ago. Maybe he was richer. She really didn't know nor was she going to ask. All she knew was that his bedsheets felt like heaven and everything in that damned apartment was a guilty pleasure. From the type of coffee he had to the stupid multiple settings in his showerhead.

Cassian entering the room behind her dragged her away from her thoughts on who had more money and better showerheads.

He'd taken off the leather jacket somewhere and Nesta took in the plain black button up that outlined the cord of muscles all over him. She wanted to tear it off of him.

Cassian began unbuttoning his shirt walking towards her. Nesta backed up, caught in his thrall, in the snare of his glinting eyes. When he reached her, the back of her legs had already hit the mattress of her bed. His shirt had already been discarded. Nesta raised a hand to his chest, to trace the tattoos, to maybe follow the outline with her tongue afterwards.

But Cassian caught her by the wrist, stopping her advances. He went for her shirt instead. Pulling it up above her waist and then her head as she lifted her arms to help him.

He growled as he took her in then. She hadn't bothered with a bra. Just a lacy black underwear she'd forgotten she owned until after Cassian had told her he was coming.

"That's a nice surprise," he muttered, ducking his head down towards her. She wrapped her arms around his neck, expecting a kiss.

Instead Cassian bypassed her lips, going straight for her peaked nipples.

The first flick of his tongue had her reeling. The hot and wet sensation had her keening into him for more. Looping her fingers into his belt and pulling his closer as he kissed a path up her chest and nuzzled her neck. Pressed a kiss to a spot under her ear that made her whimper and wetness to pool between her legs.

Then she got a hold of herself.

"Get on with it," she warned, breathless and not quite in any shape to be making demands. Cassian seemed to think the same thing because when he kissed her, he nipped just a touch harder than usual on her bottom lip. Just this side of pain and pleasure and enough to cause Nesta to moan into his mouth. He swallowed that moan up with a long, languorous drag of his tongue against hers.

Quicker than she'd expected, Cassian had wrapped a hand across her waist and she'd locked her legs behind his back as he put them both down on her bed.

Gasping for air, she broke their kiss and Cassian used it to drag his mouth lower. Lower. Lower...

"Yes," she hissed, as Cassian pushed the lace fabric to the side and dragged his tongue down her sex. She could feel how wet she already was, how wet he was making her with his tongue. With how good he was tasting her.

Cassian broke away from her skin, lips glistening as he smiled at her, and with her head still fogged up from a near orgasm, Nesta returned it. Never mind that she didn't like to show any softness like that to anyone to, especially not in these moments. But he'd broken down her defenses with that infuriatingly talented mouth of his. Had almost brought her to lay herself bare to him in ways that sex never had before.

Cassian hooked his fingers into the sides of her underwear and made to pull down.

"Lift up for me baby."

She did and the cool air hit her already warmed and wet skin, making the sensation all the more delicious when he fastened his mouth back onto her clit, and began all over again.

Cassian didn't take off his pants even when she'd asked him to. He'd made her come once with his mouth. She'd stayed there on bed, catching her breath for just a minute before reaching for his belt.

Cassian had denied her, catching her by the ankle and pressing a soft kiss to the skin there before working his way back up. Running his lips over her calves, her knees, the insides of her thighs. And then he'd eaten her out again, much to her protest in the beginning. But she'd quickly forgotten that she'd asked him here to fuck her when he dipped his tongue inside of her, curling upwards while she cried out his name over and over. Until her climax had been wrung out of her in an almost dizzying finale.

Then and only then had he let her undo the buckle at his hips, a cool, wicked smile dancing on his face at her eagerness. She'd opened the zip and almost slipped her hand in to palm him right then and there, but Cassian had laughed at that and pulled away. Moving off the bed to discard his pants himself before joining her again.

Nesta's mouth had dried as she'd taken him in. Naked. Hard. His cock already dripping with moisture at the tip. She wanted him in her mouth. Wanted to taste him. Feel him along her tongue, along her lips until she could take him deep in her throat.

"What are you doing?," Cassian asked with a laugh, grabbing her wrists again and hauling her under him.

Nesta huffed. "What did it look like I was doing? I was going to suck your-"

Cassian silenced her with a kiss.

"That mouth will be the death of me," he muttered, kissing her again and she couldnt help but twine her fingers into his hair. And pull slightly.

"Maybe you should fuck it and make it better," she whispered, dragging her tongue along his jaw and down his neck. Biting at the delicate skin there. Cassian didn't even flinch at the teeth marks she'd left behind beside the tattoo along the column of his throat.

Cassian chuckled darkly at her antics. "Maybe I'll just fuck you instead."

"It would be about time," she shot back, not at all caring how he'd take it. How he'd make her beg for being so mouthy.

Cassian seemed to even consider it. She could practically hear the thoughts in his head. But in the end, Cassian instead settled on leaning back until he rested on his knees before her. Kneeling he grabbed her legs, hauling her closer as he pulled them up until their undersides rested on his chest. Her feet hooked over his shoulders as her hips became flush with his own. With the hard demanding press of his cock against her sex, Nesta couldn't help but writhe desperately, craving any friction she could get.

Cassian didn't enter her right away, choosing instead to take his two fingers and place them at her mouth. Nesta took them in, swirled her tongue over them as she bobbed her head like she was sucking him off instead.

"You look perfect like that," he breathed, when she let his fingers go with a pop. Nesta didn't respond to the compliment. Not when he dragged those fingers through her folds, smearing her wetness around her clit until a soft, glowing pleasure began to build.

He entered her slowly. Much too slowly for her to take it well. Stretching and filling, in and in and in he sank. Deeper in until there was no more room for him to go. It was always too much for her. In those initial moments that he entered her. Nesta swore she stopped breathing every time he filled her up. Swore he'd filled her to a breaking point, no matter how burning and good it felt. But he'd always done it so fast, the moment of breathlessness was there and gone. A moment barely captured in the sharp intake of air she took.

But today, he'd gone slow. Had given her time to adjust although, with his size, it didn't really matter how fast or slow he went. He'd always be a touch too large for her. Just this side of stretching pain, which she loved even if she never admitted it to him.

And when he fucked her, it wasn't their characteristic way of doing so. There was no savage pounding of him into her, so hard and rough she could only scream most of the time. There was no dragging of nails across skin that sometimes drew blood. Nor any bites or bruises that she often loved to look over when he was long gone.

She couldn't lie and say this slower, almost romantic way of fucking didn't have her heart pounding for a different reason.

Because it did.

Almost as if he were making love to her. Something they'd never bothered with before. She supposed something in her had told him she was upset. That she'd needed the reassurance of his body in more than just their casual fucking ways.

As he drove his hips upward into her over and over, rocking on his knees as he held her legs tight against him, Nesta couldn't help but let the tumble of cries and moans fall out of her mouth. Not when he went faster, hit that spot deep inside her that had her on the verge of screaming her throat raw. Not when she came in a glorious crest that made everything bad go away from her mind. In that stilted moment stuck between reality and forever, Nesta had felt peace. Had forgotten her worries and troubles and the whole reason behind why she'd called Cassian over in the first place. Instead, she let it go through her until she was boneless and spent, Cassian now no longer thrusting into her, but his hard cock still inside.

He'd made her come first. Had made sure she'd come at least three times tonight with not one care at all for himself. It shouldn't have bothered her so much. After all, they just fucked. It wasn't a serious relationship. Yet it bothered her enough that when she caught her breath, Nesta unhooked her legs from his shoulders and pushed him down to where she'd been.

Climbed over him and sank down without a moment's hesitation, causing Cassian to groan aloud at the sheer ecstasy she too was witnessing.

That second time, she made sure he became unchecked and wild. No matter that she rode him. Nesta had circled his wrists and placed his powerful hands at her hips.

"Fuck me as hard as you want," she told him, leaving his hands tightening at her hips. "I want to feel it when I move tomorrow," she added salaciously.

Cassian seemed to appreciate that. When he thrust up into her those final times, Nesta swore she saw stars dance across her vision with her head thrown back. When she came to, pleasure slowly leaving her body, Cassian was panting just as hard underneath her, softening inside her and leaking out.

It had been his climax, the moan he'd let out as he'd reached that precarious precipice, so close to falling off, that had made Nesta come. She'd known how close he was, and so she'd flexed her inner muscles once, twice, and the sound of his moaning her name had had her tightening involuntarily as her orgasm crashed through her. He'd followed not long after and she'd cried out his name along with an incoherent mess of sounds she'd deny he'd ever gotten out of her.

Cassian had let himself take a minute to recover, and then he was pulling her off of him, walking over to the bathroom joined to her room. She'd heard the run of water and soon he returned with a warm, wet washcloth to clean between her thighs. It was moments like this where she was glad of being with Cassian, even if it was just for sex. Her past whatever they should be called weren't very good in bed. And they weren't very good out of it either. Nesta had opted for condoms then, when she'd hated having to waddle over to the bathroom, some stranger man's release dripping out of her.

It wasn't until after she'd fully caught her breath, gotten up to pee because she'd be damned if she got a UTI tonight, and taken a long swig of her water bottle that Cassian had brought over, that Nesta settled down. Pulled the covers up to her breasts, not bothering to get dressed, and just breathed.

Cassian had pulled his boxer briefs back on, but that was all. His clothes still lay discarded haphazardly around her room, although that was the deal for most things in her room anyways, so she shouldn't be surprised. Cassian seemed to think the same thing as he looked up from typing something on his phone, surveying the room around him with a hint of distaste on his face.

Her hackles began rising. No she didn't like her place that much either when remembering the type of place Cassian lived in. But that didn't mean she'd take shit from him about it.

Before she could say anything though, Cassian turned his attention to her, "Who lives like this?"

"I beg your pardon," she spluttered, not expecting that as his first comment on the state of her home.

"I mean," he gestured around them, "why is it so messy? Have you never cleaned up your room?"

Nesta snorted. "What am I a child and you my mom? It's my place. I'll keep my room as tidy or not as I like."

Gods knew she'd earned it after the way she'd been living before.

"Very mature," Cassian remarked, shaking his head in disbelief as he went back to whatever was going on in his phone.

"I think so," she added, rather coldly if were being honest with herself.

Cassian was older than her. Not old enough for it to be creepy or gross, but old enough for Nesta to know he no longer ate ramen for dinner because he was behind on student loans. Old enough to keep things like bourbon and whiskey and other really old bottles of liquor he often poured for her when she went over. It was a stark contrast to the refreshments she could offer. Hard lemonade or coke was about it in terms of choices.

Cassian had flicked his eyes up at her from her sudden change in tone but had decided not to comment, going back to whatever business he was attending to. Or texting to, whichever it was.

She had no idea what he did. Just that he was rich, gorgeous, drove a really fast, really expensive car, and that he could fuck her silly.

She'd seen the college diploma in a wall in his living room in passing. A few family photos with two other men that looked like him in the way people from the same country often did. He'd mentioned his foster brothers to her a few times. Nothing about foster care itself, and she hadn't felt it right to pry. Not when she wasn't sure what exactly they were.

They weren't supposed to be anything anyways if she really thought about it. She'd run into him in a club of all places. He'd been with his brothers- she'd found out months later- and hadn't wanted to be there. She'd been dragged along by Emerie and Gwyn for Gwyn's 21st birthday celebration. Nesta who was already 22, hadn't been as excited to go to a club when she'd been sneaking into them since she was 16. But Gwyn was her best friend so she had relented. Once Gwyn had come across some handsome tall stranger on the dance floor, Nesta had been left behind. Emerie finding her own dance partner in the form of a petite, curly haired woman named Maria hadn't helped Nesta's situation.

In her haste to go home, or at least take a breather from the stuffy nightclub, Nesta had run into a very large, very solid mass of some sort.

It had been Cassian. With his infuriating smile, disarming charm, that leather jacket and those fucking tattoos. She'd chewed him out for not watching where he was going.

Then she'd let him fuck her in front seat of his car. Or, she'd fucked him. It didn't really matter to her anymore. It had been the best sex of her life and when he called her up a few days later, Nesta hadn't hesitated to let him come over to her apartment.

Gwyn had been horrified when she'd found out. Emerie had warned her about bringing home a serial killer. But it had already been done and Nesta had known deep down, she'd never be the same again. Her friends didn't really get it. Their entire situation, but Nesta didn't really care about that either.

Cassian was easy. Easy to he around. Easy to talk to. There were no expectations. No rules and no limitations either. He just...was.

And he let Nesta breathe in a way she hadn't thought she would in a long time.

So what if she didn't tell him that she'd gotten into law school after working her ass off in her last year of undergrad? After the hell her junior year had been for her, he was lucky she told him where she had even gone to college. After graduating, Nesta also hadn't told him where she worked. Nothing about the paralegal job, the name of the firm, or the application she'd put into law schools.

She couldn't risk whatever tenuous normalcy she'd finally reached if Cassian did indeed end up becoming a problem for her as Gwyn and Emerie were worried about. Definitely not after she'd worked so hard to get where she was.

In that spirit, Nesta didn't ask about his own life either. Not outside of anything he offered her, which also wasn't much.

She liked that too. No expectations. For all he knew, she was a part-time hooker. But he never asked.

Eventually, Nesta had ended up crawling over to where Cassian had sprawled out on her bed, and tucked herself against his chest as he'd continued typing away. No matter that the blanket had become a bunched mess underneath her or that they never did this. He'd stayed longer than he ever had before and Nesta didn't care if she admitted to herself that she hadn't cuddled with anyone in a long time. Certainly not with anyone worth the effort.

Cassian hadn't seemed miffed at all. Running a hand down her hair as she'd tucked closer, pressing a kiss to the crown of her head. Nesta had soon fallen asleep to the sound of his beating heart.

When she came to, Nesta awoke alone. It wasn't the first time. In fact, she'd never not woken up alone after Cassian visited. And yet, after last night, she'd felt some sort of change between them. Had sworn Cassian could too. Which was why his disappearance seemed to harp on her so strongly. Why his text that he'd talk to her later but that he'd had to run to work had left her feeling empty. And when she entered her first class of the day, after barely finding it, and only being on time because she'd come earlier, thoughts of Cassian still swirled around in her mind. More than she ever should have allowed herself to.

Nesta turned on her laptop, taking in the students filing in around her. It was a full class. She'd taken the class on a whim, seeing that it was a seminar that discussed criminal cases, taught by a professor Emerie had said was an easy A if you showed up and talked a few times. Easy enough. Nesta had no plans of messing up her first class of her first day in her first step towards a better life and better future. She'd do the best. Be the best. It was what she'd lived on for most of her life anyways.

As more students filed in, Nesta wondered where the professor was. Emerie had mentioned he was old, sort of deaf, but a softie if you talked to him enough. Yet, everyone looked to be around the same age in the room. No sign of a professor anywhere.

The clock struck 8:00 AM, and as she typed in her password, she saw a figure get up from the front row and make their way to the board.

What idiot was already playing pranks on the still absent professor, on a first day no less, Nesta had no idea. She wanted no part in it though, she knew that much.

"Alright everyone, good morning. I'm sure some of you are wondering where Professor Jackson is. He's unfortunately going through some medical problems and I was asked to step in for him. Now, Professor Jackson taught me, in this very same classroom, in the very same way that he planned to teach all of you. And I'm going to, hopefully, be just as great and inspiring as he was." The man laughed and added, "Hopefully," earning him a round of chuckles scattered across the room.

But Nesta had frozen. Hadn't moved from the moment she'd heard his voice. Because she knew that voice, could pick it out from anywhere. It had been a voice that greeted her with teasing jests every time she glowered at him and his antics. A voice that whispered sweet nothings and the most filthy delicious promises to her when his body pressed her deep into the mattress.

As she stared transfixed in horror towards the front of the room, Cassian smiled brightly towards the class, scanning the room as he opened his mouth.

"My name is Cassian Virin and you can call me either Professor or just Cassian. Either is fine. I'm a practicing attorney at Solis and Vanserra. It's a firm in this city that I'm sure many of you have heard of." More chuckles arose because who the hell hadn't heard of Solis and Vanserra.

"I'm going to be here just for this semester while I also work on some pro bono cases at my firm, and-"

Cassian stopped talking as he finally saw her. She was sure the same panic was evident on her own face that she mirrored in his own. Except Cassian mastered himself faster than she ever could in such a fucked up situation.

Not breaking eye contact with her, Cassian finished his sentence. "And I'll be your teacher this semester for this class. Welcome to Criminal Law.

Taglist:

@bookstantrash @duskandstarlight @greerlunna @queenestarcheron @nessiansimp @cassianscool @sjm-things @perseusannabeth @courtofjurdan @vasudharaghavan @sayosdreams @moe8 @arielle-reads @theoverlyenthusiasticwriter @nahthanks @oversizedbats @swankii-art-teacher @inardour @rowaelinismyotp @starryblueskies7 @nestaarcher0n @vidalinav @nessiantrashh @lanyjoy-13 @iwastoowildinthe70s @nessianlordandladyofillyria @ladygabrielli1997 @moonlitchandeliers

399 notes • Posted 2021-06-25 07:51:51 GMT

Get your Tumblr 2021 Year in Review →

#my 2021 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review

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silver-spheres · 4 years

Text

Dreams

Draco Malfoy x reader

Word Count: 1.8K

Description; (Y/N) has always known she liked Draco Malfoy ever since the first time she saw him on the train she was infatuated by the blonde-haired boy. Draco Malfoy has always known he disliked (Y/N), the constant pining from her and the ridiculous advances were the reason for the dislike. It was now 5th year and neither of those feelings had gone away.

(Y/N) stared at Draco during DADA and Draco noticed the feeling of someone burning a hole in the side of his head. You’d think after 5 years she’d get the hint Draco thought wondering why the girl was still attracted to him. (Y/N) was still staring when Professor Umbridge called on her to ask her a question pulling her out of her thoughts. She blanked and couldn’t answer, winning herself detention with the pink-clad women. She slumped her shoulders and frowned looking down at her textbook.

Draco, on the other hand, looked glad that the girl stopped staring at him. He and his friends whispered about the club meeting they have, as all of them were part of Umbridge’s group. Draco was to oversee detentions with Crabbe later tonight, he groaned when he realized he would probably oversee (Y/N)’s detention. The group continued to talk until class ended.

It seemed like the world was against (Y/N) today, she had gotten detention during DADA, and spilled part of her potion all over herself. Dinner was no better arriving too late to get her favorite dessert. She walked slowly towards that horrendously pink office hoping to prolong the time she had before the detention. When she arrived in the office she saw three people Umbridge sitting at her desk sipping a cup of tea and Draco and Crabbe leaning on the wall watching her as she entered. She grimaced at the smile the older-woman let reach her lips when she noticed (Y/N)’s the entrance. “Hello dear, sit at the desk and start writing I will not be distracted in class” she smiles out “How many times Professor?” (Y/N) replied hoping for a small number “Write until I tell you to stop” the older-women said not looking at (Y/N). She sat at the desk reaching for the dark-feathered quill sitting next to a fresh piece of parchment. Holding the quill (Y/N) looked around for a pot of ink, realizing that there wasn’t one, she asked “Do you have a pot of ink I could use Professor” “No just write the lines stop asking questions” the women replied. (Y/N) now visibly confused began to write her lines, an itch rose onto the back of her hand. After a few lines, red ink began to stain the parchment, at the same time a slight pain appeared on her hand that was writing them.

After filling the parchment paper, (Y/N) lifted her sleeve now looking at the words “I will not be distracted in class appear” cut into her hand, very loudly wincing when she ran her fingers over. The wince garnered the attention of Draco who was sitting at a chair near the main desk throwing a ball up and down, turning to look at the girl he saw the bloody skin sitting between her thumb and pointer finger. His eyes widened and a look of concern flooded his face. “I did not tell you to stop yet Ms. (Y/L/N)” Professor Umbridge loudly spoke breaking the silence in the room. (Y/N) turned her face towards the desk first looking at Draco’s worried expression, then Umbridge’s face turned into a smile that did not reach her eyes. “Professor my hand-” she began “I don’t care, continue with your lines or you’ll be back here tomorrow” Umbridge interrupted. The young girl turned to Draco giving him a pleading look, he looked down into his lap not meeting her eyes. (Y/N) frowned and continued with her lines wincing ever so often.

Draco continued looking down at his lap except for the occasional glance at the girl still scribbling lines with her blood. He knew he should have said something, it was a cruel punishment for a question unanswered even for someone he disliked. But he stayed silent walking out behind the girl when she was dismissed. Walking up to her he asked, “Do you want to go to Pomfrey’s” the girl ignored him continuing to walk to her common room “Hey I asked if you want to go to Pomfrey’s for your hand” he continued picking up his pace to walk next to her “No now leave me alone” (Y/N) said harshly then walked into the bathroom. Draco looked surprised at the tone of her comment and a little hurt at her dismissiveness.

(Y/N) began to sob looking at the red skin surrounding harsh lines carved into her skin. Reaching the sink she cleaned the wounds continuing to sob. After cleaning the blood and her tears she looked into the mirror. She began to think of the detention, more so about Draco. The worried look had when she stopped, the way he kept glancing at her, but most importantly how he hadn’t tried to stop it. She thought he would’ve tried to stop it, she thought she knew him but it seemed like she didn’t. Walking back to her dorm, she began to question if Draco was the same person she liked in the first year.

Draco now lying comfortably in his bed thinking about the detention. He thought of her red eyes stained with tears and her puffy lips. She looks pretty even when she cries, has she always been that pretty? Draco thought for a second before pushing it down. Draco woke up quickly getting ready and walking to the Grand Hall. When sat down at his table her felt someone wrap their arms around his shoulders kissing his cheek before sitting down, turning he saw (Y/N). As she was leaning to kiss him, Draco abruptly jumped up waking him from his dream. Looking around his dorm Draco let out a groan, hand reaching to touch his lips. He had a few of those dreams before always ending before her lips met his. He began to analyze all their interactions wondering when she went from being a nuisance to him enjoying her presence and wanted to feel her lips on his. He then realized what had happened yesterday, suddenly worried that she no longer liked him. Draco was determined to set things right and to feel her lips on his.

(Y/N) now sat eating her breakfast occasionally looking down at her hand. She was conversing with some of her housemates about Professor Umbridge and her harsh punishments. They all fell silent and looked at something past her, (Y/N) turned to see a very nervous Draco looking at her. “Do you need something Malfoy” she quickly asked saying his last name like it was poison on her tongue. Draco winced at the harshness of his last name, she had never called him Malfoy always Draco. “I was wondering if um we could talk um … privately” he said nervously preferring to look at his shoes rather than her face “About what?” she retorted back. Draco now very nervous looked at her “Please can we just talk privately” (Y/N)’s eyes widened never knowing Draco to say please for anything ”Okay” she replied getting up and following the boy out of the hall.

Now outside of the hall (Y/N) said “What did you want to talk about” turning to face Draco. He took a step closer to her now an arm’s length away from her. She looked at him quirking her eyebrow up, he let out a breath. “What,” she said slightly raising her voice in annoyance, he quickly pulled her towards him chests now touching, and brought his lips to hers. (Y/N)’s eyes widen and she quickly pushed him off her. “What the hell Draco,” she said angrily looking the boy “ I um I-” Draco said with a sad look on his face he was not expecting her to push him off. “I’m sorry for not helping you with Umbridge and for kissing you,” He said turning away and walking quickly back into the hall and into his seat, leaving (Y/N) very confused. The boy she had liked for years just kissed her, yes she was starting to lose feelings but the kiss evaporated an doubts she had about him.

Draco sat at his seat feeling the urge to cry, he regretted not saying anything when his feelings first developed because it was too late now. He looked over at the door hoping she would come in soon so he could see her again. She came in a few moments later not looking over at him. She sat back into her seat and continued talking with her friends, the frown deepened on Draco’s face. When breakfast ended he walked to his dorm deciding he didn’t want to go to classes, rather spend the day in his bed sad from the rejection.

(Y/N) looked all over in her classes for the boy hoping to make things right again. She liked the feeling of his lips on hers and his arms around her waist pulling her into him. Not finding him anywhere she looked for Crabbe or Goyle hoping they’d tell her were Draco was. They both told her he was in his dorm because he wasn’t feeling well. She asked for the password and started walking towards the dungeons. When she reached the door for the Slytherin common room she said the password “ traite”. Looking around she realized that most of the students were still in classes, she stalked up the stairs towards his dorm. Knocking softly on the door she heard a harsh “What do you want? I told you, dunces, to leave me alone” “It’s me Draco,” she said. She heard a crash and footsteps toward the door. Draco had fallen off his bed at the sound of her voice and quickly fixed his hair and looked at himself at the mirror on his bedstand. He wiped his face of tears and took some breaths walking towards the door. He put his hand on the not wanting to open it, he still feared she would outright reject him telling him that she never liked him and that she would never date someone like him. He froze at that thought. He opened the door.

(Y/N) saw Draco in sweatpants and a soft black t-shirt hair rumpled from laying in his bed and his eyes red from crying. She walked towards him wrapping her arms around his waist leaning her head on his chest. She then looked up at him and move her hands to pull him down letting their lips meet. Draco was completely frozen at the contact but his eyes fluttered shut. He moved his hands onto her waist pulling her close to him. Guess dreams do come true.

#draco malfoy x reader #draco x y/n #harry potter #harry potter fanfiction #harry potter imagines #fanfic #golden era

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official-weasley · 3 years

Text

The Irreplaceable Charlie Weasley: Pt. 8, Ch. 1

PART 8: WHERE IT ALL ENDS Chapter 1 - The First Three Years

Nova

THE FIRST TO AID (1992)

I couldn't believe how rested I felt. I haven't had that feeling in a really long time. Having two days off really does do you good, who would've thought. I turned around and saw that Charlie was already out of bed. The fact that I was rested wasn't the only rare occasion. Having 2 days off at the same time as Charlie did, THAT was even rarer.

We worked in the Sanctuary for about a year now and if I didn't love my job as much as I did, I would've given up a long time ago. Feeling tired and smelling like roasted meat most of the time wasn't even that bad because of the work I could do.

—

I still remember the day when I arrived. I was so nervous to meet everyone and to see what exactly my job would be. They greeted me with extended arms and big grins plastered on their faces, just like Charlie said they would. He came 2 weeks prior and waited behind the crowd of people who were excited to meet me.

The welcomeness of everyone calmed me down a bit and I just gave in. I knew I already got the job, that I am not going to go through an initiation process or any of the sorts.

“Wotcher! You must be Nova!” A man with a thick mustache approached me and squeezed my hand so tightly that I wanted to wince from the pain. I could see that Charlie wasn't the only one with muscles around here as I eyed the man, that introduced himself as Ben, up and down.

The next one to offer me a hand was a blond man named Tim. He had to be about my age but with a lot more scars than Charlie had. He was followed by Alice, Beatrice, Sam, and Dominik. After they all asked me the polite questions of how were my travels and if I need anything I should just ask, I finally reached the two men that looked like they were in charge.

“You must be Andrei.” I smiled. He was the only one I recognized as Charlie told me a lot about him and he was the one who wrote me the letter.

“Pleasure to finally meet you! Charlie can't shut up about you!” He returned the smile and shook my hand. I tried not to blush and act as professionally as I could, even though my eyes went to Charlie, who was standing behind them, at once.

“And I'm Felix.” The other one said. Felix Rosier, Charlie told me about him as well. Apparently, very talented and he went to our school and was a Prefect. I studied his face to see if I could recall seeing him at Hogwarts, but he didn't seem familiar at all.

“Nice to meet you both!” I liked meeting all the rest but I can't lie, I was the most excited to meet these two. The way Charlie spoke about them has piqued my interest.

“We can chat more at dinner. You must be tired.” Andrei said and gestured to start walking with him.

Charlie joined us, beaming. I knew he couldn't wait to show me around and I knew he was just as excited for me to finally be here as I was. I missed him so much in these past 14 days and I couldn't wait to hug and kiss him.

“You wait here.” We stopped in front of a wooden cottage that looked like a reception. “Dorothy will be with you soon to accommodate you.” He grinned. His eyes met those of Charlie's and he winked at him. I had no idea what was going on but I was excited to get my own place.

I have been dreaming about living in one of these cottages ever since Charlie told me that our date room in the Room of Requirement was something like these huts in the Sanctuary.

“Ah, Dot! Here you are!” Andrei playfully slammed his hand on the wall next to the door that just opened. Dot was a middle-aged woman that reminded me a lot of Molly if Molly had pitch-black hair.

“Oh, a new arrival!” She squeaked. “Come in dear, come in!” She waved her hand and I looked at Felix and Andrei who nodded that I should go inside.

“Let's see...your name?” She stepped behind her desk and started looking through the many piles of papers she had on it.

“Nova Blackwood.” I gave her my name.

“Blackwood...Blackwood...” She browsed through the papers murmuring more to herself than to me.

“Ah!” She exclaimed and lifted a piece of parchment into the air. “Blackwood, Nova! Our new Magizoologist!” She looked at me and I couldn't hide the excitement on my face, which indicated to her that I was the right person.

“Looks like you have a roommate!” I couldn't help but feel a bit disappointed. I was used to having a roommate at Hogwarts. Tulip was the best one anyone could ask for but I was hoping, after spending almost an entire Summer in a house full of Weasleys, that I would get some alone time. I loved Charlie's entire family and I loved spending time with them but as an only child, it could be very tiresome when 5 kids try to get your attention at once.

“Let's see here.” I looked up at Dot, snapping myself from my thoughts.

“Ah, very curious.” Her brows met. “We usually don't have roommates of the opposite gender. Was this a request?” She looked at me, bewildered. I blinked at her, not knowing how to reply. I didn't have to fill out an application for the cottage. Charlie told me he was going to...oh.

“Charles Weasley.” My lips curved even before she read his name. “Nice lad, not intrusive so you won't have any problems living with him.” She reassured me, clueless just how unbothered I was with my new roommate.

“He's my boyfriend, actually.” I decided to spear her the embarrassment as I could see she was looking for more words to make me feel comfortable with the fact that my roommate was a man.

“Oh.” Her cheeks turned slightly pink. “That would make more sense, yes.” She cleared her throat. “Well, here are your set of keys.” She handed me the keys with a Romanian Sanctuary keychain. “And I would just need your signature here.” She put her finger on a piece of paper and I came closer so she could hand me a quill and I signed the document.

When I got back outside, Felix and Andrei were gone and Charlie was leaning on the wall next to the entrance, having the same smug face he always had when he was proud that he was able to surprise me.

“I heard you have a male roommate.” He winked at me and pulled me into a hug.

“Yeah, I heard he's pretty handsome. You never know what might happen.” He laughed at my sarcastic comment.

“Sorry, to burst your bubble but I've heard he is very much in love with his girlfriend.” He kissed my forehead.

“Bummer!” I cupped his face and kissed him as hard as I could. I missed him so much. I couldn't wait to be around him every single day.

—

“Morning.” Charlie said as he heard me walking down the stairs. Something smelled delicious. I have never thought that us living together would mean that he would cook so much but he was just incredible and so painfully handsome. I hated when he cooked only in his boxers. If we weren't living in a wooden cottage with a high risk of burning it down, I would strip him every morning while he was cooking.

“Morning.” I hugged him from behind and peaked at the stove. “Pancakes, what's the occasion?” I kissed his back and chuckled. We had pancakes every time we had a day off together. It was our little treat and because we had two days off, we had pancakes yesterday too.

“Well, this rarely happens...” I could feel his body vibrating in giggles, as he placed a pancake on a plate. “That we have two free days in a row and I had no idea what to cook.” He poured another pancake into the pan.

“I still can't believe it.” Charlie and I didn't work together often. He worked with a team to tame and feed Dragons and I either worked with researchers or my team of Magizoologists, which I was now a leader of. The only time we worked together was when we needed Dragons to observe their behavior around the creatures we brought into the Reserve or if we needed to move a Dragon to a specific location for better observation.

Getting a day off was something we both struggled to get. Charlie was one of the best at doing his job and if something went awry they always turned to him for help. After half a year of working with 2 other Magizoologists, Felix saw that I had a talent for working with creatures and that they tend to listen to me more than others so he put me in charge of our team.

I now work with 4 other Magizoologists and several researchers and we have done so much in a year. I have written 2 groundbreaking papers about Dragon interaction with Hippogriffs and Mountain Trolls and after these two days of free time with Charlie, I am going to work with one of my dream creatures as Andrei approved my research for a Chimera.

“What's this?” I waved an unopened letter laying on our dining table. Charlie's eyes moved from the stove to me.

“I think it's from Ron.” He placed another pancake on the pile. “Haven't opened it yet. You can do it if you want.”

I turned the letter and unglued the seal. Charlie was right, it was from Ron.

“They have what!” My eyes widened as I was reading the letter. I remember when Charlie told me that Ron befriended Harry Potter. I mocked him that he outdid his entire family by just being friends with the Boy Who Lived. They were having a rather peaceful year and we were glad they weren't getting as many letters about detention as Fred and George were.

“Is it from Ron?” Charlie turned the stove off and brought the pancakes to our table.

“Oh, Hagrid.” Charlie started laughing and shaking his head as he was reading the letter from behind my shoulder. “He got himself a Dragon!”

“He's insane!” For some reason, I didn't find it as amusing as he did. He liked Hagrid's crazy ideas much more than I did. I knew Hagrid always wanted to have a Dragon and I guess now that he somehow got his hands on one he saw they were not just another Fang.

“How are we going to transport an illegal Norwegian Ridgeback from Hogwarts to Romania?” I couldn't think of a single idea how to do it.

“Not just a Ridgeback, love. NORBERT!” Charlie was having too much fun with this. I just playfully rolled my eyes at him, without a reply.

“It's impossible.” Charlie was still laughing, putting jam on our pancakes. “We can't do it on a weekly notice.”

“Unless...” I said under my breath an idea appearing in my head.

“Unless?” Charlie sat down next to me, beyond excited.

“We were friends with two pranksters and a smuggler at Hogwarts...” I am not going to lie, I was getting excited too. “And Tonks and Tulip are coming here next week anyway.” I suggested.

“You want to entrust Tonks, Tulip, and Jae with a Dragon?” He raised his eyebrows at me.

“We would help!” I defended my idea. “They would kill themselves if they went alone.” I chuckled.

“Love, we barely got two days off in a month, how are you going to get to Hogwarts?” He leaned on his hand and I knew he was having as much fun discussing this as I was.

“Let me talk to Rosier. He has a soft spot for stories like this.” I swung my hand as if it wasn't a big deal.

“You should go with them, I'll stay here. Someone has to be here to let you in.” Charlie was giving the idea some thought. “And there's no way Rosier is going to let both of us go.” He added.

“So, should I write to Tonks?” I couldn't believe we were going to do this.

“I will write back to Ron. I think in the middle of the night would be the smartest and somewhere up high so that you can leave as undetected as possible.” He nodded.

“Astronomy Tower?” I suggested.

It didn't even take Tonks a day to reply with a yes, having both Tulip and Jae on board. As predicted, Felix was up for it as long as nobody would see us and now we just had to wait for next Saturday.

—

“Be careful, this is a Norwegian Ridgeback.” Charlie hugged me to say goodbye. Jae was already waiting for me and Tonks and Tulip were going to meet us at Hogwarts.

“I know my Dragons, Weasley!” I winked at him and kissed him. Ever since we have been working together he calmed down a little bit when it comes to me being hurt.

I was scratched, burned, and bitten more times than I would enjoy and he got used to the fact that I am fine every time so he stopped eyeing me as if I was made out of glass. And once I threw in his face that he isn't any better, having the biggest burn mark covering the majority of his left arm, a big cut on his back, and a still healing scar that halved his left eyebrow, he finally gave in that I can have scars as well.

Just like me, he couldn't deny that the scars suited him. I already found him incredibly attractive but he looked so cool and sexy with all his scars, once healed properly, of course.

“I love you and I'll see you soon.” He pressed his lips against mine and gave me one of those kisses that weakened my knees. He always did this when he knew we won't be able to see each other for a while.

“I love you too, Charles.” I looked deep into his eyes. “Now, I have to go!”

I rushed outside and Jae and I apparated together. The warm air filled my lungs as I have almost forgotten how much warmer Britain was compared to the Sanctuary.

“Are you ready?” Jae whispered to me.

“Are you?” I looked at him and by his gaze, he knew exactly what I meant.

Charlie was corresponding with him more than I did but I talked to Penny, Tulip, and Tonks regularly. A few months after our Seventh Year, Jae and Tulip broke up and when Charlie and I compared the messages between the two, Jae seemed way more hurt than Tulip did.

“I'll be fine. We have to focus on the Dragon anyway.” He dismissed me.

“Have you talked to her at all, since...you know?” I finally unlocked our arms, as we were still standing on the spot we apparated to.

“A few times.” He whispered. “We are trying to be friends.” He tried looking me in the eyes but decided to avoid me at the last second.

We ran as quietly as possible to the Astronomy Tower. Tonks and Tulip were already there with three brooms. We still didn't know how exactly we would do this but it was now or never. I hugged them both and Tulip indicated that we are going to talk later. She looked at Jae and their eyes met for a split second before they both looked to the ground.

“Alright, let's do this!” Tonks was as excited as she was every time she did something that could get us in trouble. She was an exceptional Auror-in-training but her mischievous spirit never left her.

I shared a broom with Tonks and we flew up to the top of the Astronomy Tower where two kids were waiting for us with a big box behind them.

“Nova?” Whispered the boy.

“That's me. Where's Ron?” I looked at him.

“He was bitten by Norbert...I mean the Dragon.” Said the girl. “I'm Hermione Granger and this is Harry Potter.” Tulip gasped when she realized who the boy she was looking at was.

“I would love to chat and get to know Ron's friends but this is not the time and place.” I whispered as I got off my broom. They both nodded in agreement but I still shook both of their hands.

“Is he in the box?” I looked behind them and they turned around.

“Yes.” Nodded Harry.

“We didn't know exactly how you are going to approach the situation.” Hermione looked embarrassed. She reminded me of Penny; not wanting to break the rules but somehow finding herself in the midst of it anyway.

“Leave it to us, sweetheart.” Tonks put her hand on my shoulder and took out her wand. “See, light as a feather.” She said proudly after casting the Feather-Light spell upon the box.

“Is it sleeping?” Jae asked, eyeing the box.

“It's okay. I'll carry him, Jae.” I reassured him and stepped closer to the box. I opened it and gasped. “He's beautiful.” I looked at Harry and Hermione who looked at me like I was mental.

“I can see how you were friends with Hagrid.” Harry said, trying not to be impolite. I chuckled and cast the stunning Spell on Norbert.

“You should meet Charlie then.” I grinned and lifted the box with my wand. “It was nice to meet you both, now please go inside. Charlie will write to Ron to update him on everything.” I gestured that they should step back as my friends mounted their brooms again.

“And say hi to Ron for me. I hope he gets better soon, Dragon bites can be quite nasty, got a few myself.” I waved my hand at them but quickly put it away as they got the same horrid expression on their faces as before.

I sat behind Tonks and we started to fly away from the Castle. We stopped three times in between so I could recast the spell on Norbert and I was hoping nobody would spot us. We got to the Sanctuary with an hour to spear before sunrise.

Charlie's proud grin when he spotted us only got bigger once I carefully placed down Norbert and told him to look at him.

“He's a beauty!” His eyes sparkled. “I can't believe someone just gave the egg to him.”

“Not everybody is as excited as you are about Dragons, Charlie.” Tulip giggled.

We showed our friends to our cabin and then I helped Charlie settle Norbert to the spot his team prepared for him. On the way back, I told him how it was and he laughed when he heard the faces Ron's friends were making.

Finally, we could start talking and I hugged Tonks and Tulip again. We were glad that the situation wasn't as awkward between Jae and Tulip as we thought it would be as we sat around our fireplace and talked about our school days and our lives now.

Tulip told us that she published a very important paper and that if everything goes through she might start working on a new telescope.

Jae told us that he was being relocated to America as they were lacking Aurors there and I couldn't help but notice that Tulip was intrigued by that idea. We haven't seen our friends in such a long time and it was nice to just sit back and relax with them. We were missing Andre and Penny but we knew that with them being engaged, it was only a matter of time we would all get together again.

THE FIRST TO WED (1993)

“Charlie! We're going to be late!” I looked at myself in the mirror, desperately trying to do something with my hair. Where is Andre when you need him? Oh, right, getting married!

“Do you reckon...” I turned around as I heard Charlie rushing down the stairs. “Wow, you look...” He stopped when he saw me, blinking at me as if he couldn't believe his eyes. “Ravishing!” He breathed out.

“Thank you.” I couldn't stop the grin spreading across my face. I liked my beige dress with black lace. It showed my curves and I felt good in it but I still hated my hair. “What did you want to ask me?” Our eyes locked as he came to kiss me.

“Uhm...” He seemed completely lost for words, his eyes still on mine.

“You're drooling, Weasley.” I giggled and turned back to the mirror.

“Do you reckon Tulip will bring a date?” He finally snapped out of it and started putting his tie on. He was so handsome, I tried looking at myself in the mirror but my eyes kept escaping to him.

“Probably not. Why?” I finally managed to capture that one lock that made the hairdo bearable. I was sure Penny would fix it for me anyway.

“I just opened the letter Jae sent me yesterday.” He lifted his chin to finish tying his tie.

“He's bringing a date.”

“He's what?” I frowned and turned to him. “Penny will lose it if they start drama at her wedding.”

“So out of the blue as well. Didn't say her name or mention her before, either.” Charlie shrugged his shoulders and started kissing my neck.

“What are you doing?” Our eyes met in the mirror and I knew the look on his face.

“You look too good in this dress, love.” He winked at me and got back to my neck, his hands on my zipper.

“Char, we don't have time.” I said in a whisper, closing my eyes.

“We're apparating there and the wedding doesn't start for another 3 hours.” He tried calming me down, his hands on my shoulders, ready to take my, now unzipped, dress off.

“I'm the Maid of Honor. Penny will kill me if I'm late.” I turned around and kissed him passionately.

“I see how much you care, yes.” He whispered in my ear, pulling me towards the sofa.

“Okay, but don't ruin my hair. I just got it up.” I gave in.

“Likewise.” He winked at me and his eyes escaped to his tight pants. He looked too good in the suit.

“Oh, shut it!” I pushed him gently so he stumbled on the couch and started untying his tie.

—

“There you are!” Tonks locked our arms together and rushed me inside the second Charlie and I apparated. “See you later, Dragon Boy!” She waved at the left behind Charlie.

“Tonks, where are you taking me?” She was dragging me all the way to the bathrooms.

“Tulip and Jae are back together!”

“What?” My jaw dropped. “So she is Jae's plus one?” That will avoid a lot of drama.

“Yes! Ever since Jae was relocated to America they have been seeing each other again!” Tonks whispered, excitedly. It felt like we were at Hogwarts all over again.

“I thought Tulip was suspicious when we went to get Norbert.” I rubbed my chin, thinking about it.

“Finally!” Tonks and I both jumped in the air. “What took you so long!” We turned around and saw Penny standing behind us, looking unamused.

“And what's with the hair, Blackwood!” She blinked.

“Please, fix it!” I pleaded and before I could say anything else she was already dragging both Tonks and me to her changing room.

“So what do you think?” Penny asked, beaming when Tonks and I saw her wedding dress.

“Pen...” I was lost for words. It was perfect for her. She was going to look like a princess.

“I know, right!” She knew what I meant without even saying it.

“Well, let's see it then!” We all turned around and saw Tulip standing in the door frame. We all rushed to hug her and Penny pulled her inside and sat us all down.

Tonks and I looked at Tulip and winked at her.

“Tonks, I told you not to say anything.” Tulip hissed at her.

“Get off it. She would find out sooner or later!” Tonks laughed.

“So, are you guys serious, or is this just for the wedding?” I asked, waiting for Penny to put on the dress.

“It's been going on ever since he moved to America.” Tulip blushed.

“That was 4 months ago!” Penny came from behind the room divider, her eyes widened, not even fully in her dress.

“Yeah.” Tulip giggled. “I guess it's not just for the wedding.” She was blushing like crazy. It felt different this time around. As if they were more serious.

“I can hear wedding bells!” Penny sang.

“Oh, no!” Tulip shook her head. “Nova's next!” She leaned on my shoulder.

“Why, because Charlie and I are together longer?” I laughed.

“It's a miracle you two aren't already married, Blackwood.” Tonks mocked.

“We're too busy to think of things like that right now.” I wasn't lying. We really were. We talked about it that night when Charlie expressed the interest in marrying me when we told our families we're together. But we have never mentioned it since and I wasn't bothered by it.

“Sure, every excuse comes in handy.” Tulip winked at me.

“Okay, what do you think?” Penny interrupted our staring contest and we all looked up at her. Tears started gathering in my eyes, she was so beautiful. She reminded me of that one princess from a Muggle fairytale from a book I used to read to Ginny. Beauty and the Beast, I think. Tonks had her hands over her lips and Tulip's mouth was open.

“Penny, Andre is the luckiest bloke in the world.” Tonks said with a shaky voice.

“You look beyond beautiful.” I stood up and reached for my purse. “You wrote to me that you needed something blue.”

“You remembered!” She turned to me.

“It might not be traditional, but it's very rare.” I barely held in the tears, looking at her. I spent far too much time on my makeup and I knew Penny was too emotional to fix it.

“Is that a Dragon scale?” Tulip gasped as I put the brooch on Penny's sleeve.

“A Swedish Short-Snout one.” I nodded.

“Nova, it's beautiful!” She hugged me and I waved to Tulip and Tonks to join us.

—

I felt my cheeks turn pink as I was walking down the aisle before Penny. I saw Charlie standing next to Andre and Jae and I loved the way he was looking at me. It reminded me of the night of the Ball when he saw me walking down the stairs.

We had so many beautiful moments together and we made so many memories during all these years but that night was still one of my favorites and every time Charlie looked at me the way he did now, it reminded me of just how much he wished for us to be together back then and it made me feel so special to know I was able to bring him that happiness.

The ceremony was beautiful and Tulip, Tonks, and I all cried as Andre and Penny exchanged their vows. They were such a beautiful couple. After all the food and all the toasts, it was time to dance. I couldn't help but hope that we would have more of these moments together because I was having so much fun dancing with the girls.

I loved that our friendship was so strong that even though we saw each other a couple of times per year we still acted as if it was every day.

It was finally time for Penny and Andre's slow dance. I was probably looking at them as if I was in love with them both. I meant what I said earlier, that I didn't mind that Charlie and I weren't engaged or planning on getting married any time soon but moments like this sparked something in me that made me think otherwise.

“May I have this dance?” Charlie suddenly appeared in front of me, disturbing my thoughts and as I zoned back in I heard that Magic Works started playing. I took the hand Charlie offered me with the biggest grin on my face. That was the song we slowed danced to at the Ball. That was the song that made me break down all my walls and the song that made me realize just how much I wanted to be more than friends with Charlie. It was our song.

“They look amazing together, don't they?” Charlie said softly as my head was resting on his chest and we were slowly moving to the song.

“They do. I am so happy for them.” I smiled.

“Are we next then?” I looked up at him when he asked the question.

“What do you mean?”

“To get married.” He brushed my nose with his, the biggest smile on his lips.

“I...” I blinked at him. His question surprised me.

“Just because we don't talk about it, doesn't mean it's not on my mind, love.” His sparkling eyes were killing me softly.

“You're not asking me now, are you?” I could feel my heart against my ribcage.

“You really think, this is how I am going to propose to you?” He chuckled.

“Oh, so you already have it planned out?” I placed my head back on his chest, my heartbeat was getting faster with each sentence.

“Of course, I do.” He said as if he was thinking about this every day.

“You don't want to get married?” He asked after a minute of me being silent.

“I want nothing more than to be married to you, Charles.” I looked up at him as I heard his heartbeat raise. I could see he was trying to hide his excitement but he was doing a rather bad job. “It's just...we never talk about it so I didn't put much thought into it.”

“Well, it's going to happen, Blackwood.” He kissed my forehead. “Bill predicted that I will make you an official Weasley. I can't let his Divination talent die.” I laughed.

“Then perhaps we are next.” I smiled at him and his eyes sparkled as if I just said yes to his marriage proposal.

When we get married, I knew that it wouldn't compare to Penny's wedding. It was amazing and we had so much fun. Events like these made me realize just how much I miss my girls and we promised each other that we would visit one another as often as we could.

After people started leaving and Jae, Andre, and Charlie fell into a heated debate about the Quidditch World Cup next year, Penny took us girls outside.

“I have to tell you something.” She put her hands to her cheeks and she looked as if she was about to start crying. Tulip and I exchanged a look.

“I'm pregnant!” She exclaimed and we all jumped up, in awe.

“Merlin's beard, Penny!” Tonks didn't know how to reply.

“You're moving fast Mrs. Andre Egwu!” Tulip pulled her in a tight embrace.

“We're going to be aunts!” I shouted and started jumping into the air. They all laughed and joined me. I was right, her wedding can't be topped.

THE FIRST TO FEAR (1994)

“Are you sure you don't want to come?” Charlie shook my shoulders as I rolled my eyes at him.

“For the millionth time, Char! I will stay with your mum and Ginny.” He let out a sigh. “You rarely see your brothers, you should spend some time with them!” I placed my hands on his cheeks. Ever since Arthur announced that they were going to the Quidditch World Cup we have been bickering over me staying at the Burrow.

He has been at the Cup with his family a few times and he just wanted me to experience it. I believed him when he said it's a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to see how Quidditch is really played but I had enough by just him describing everything so vividly. I always felt like I was there with every one of his stories.

I wanted him to spend some time with his brothers and his dad. I knew he missed them more than he would like to admit and he will get to say that he was at the World Cup with Harry Potter. He was the new Seeker for the Gryffindor Team and I knew Charlie couldn't wait to talk to him about it. Besides, we rarely got time off and whenever we got to the Burrow we were so preoccupied with every single family member that I don't know when was the last time I spent some quality time with Ginny.

I was worried sick when she was taken by the Basilisk and kept sending Pip to Molly to see if she got any news. The whole Weasley family, including me, was so grateful for Harry to rescue her and the fact that Ginny has the biggest crush on him is just too adorable. I would say that they remind me of me and Charlie when we were their age, but for some reason, Hermione and Ron ring more of a bell.

“I don't know if the Burrow ever had 3 girls without a single boy before.” Charlie chuckled and I joined him. I wished Hermione would stay too. I would like to get to know her better as Ron couldn't stop writing to us just how brilliant and smart she was.

“The Burrow will do just fine!” I pressed my lips to his. “Just enjoy your time and have fun for a change!”

“Hey, I have fun!” He smirked at me.

“Sure you do, Mr. Serious.” I ruffled his hair. I loved that he let his hair lose every time he wasn't working. It made him so charismatic. He rolled his eyes at my remark but said nothing. He knew I was right. He was focused on his work most of the time and rarely unwinded. I admired that about him but he needs to relax more, he's a workaholic for sure!

“Alright!” He finally gave in as our lips parted. “Have fun with my mum and Ginny.”

“I will. We will party like crazy!” I laughed.

“Sure, especially when mum starts asking questions about us.” He winked at me. That was the only part I wasn't looking forward to.

We have been together for 4 years and she has been nagging us about marriage and children for 2. I knew she will take this opportunity of us being alone to talk about it as she obviously couldn't get through Charlie's thick skin.

“What if I was planning to propose during the game and you're not coming?” He tried convincing me one more time.

“You are not that cheesy, Charles.” I giggled.

“You know me too well, love.” He pressed his forehead to mine and hugged me tightly. He took a deep breath and I knew he wanted to remember my scent.

“I love you, Charlie.” I looked deep into his eyes. The words still gave me butterflies sometimes. “Now go have fun with your brothers!”

“I love you too, Nova.” He kissed me one more time, hugged Molly and Ginny, and ran after the others.

—

“So, Ginny.” I sat down next to her on the sofa. She eyed me suspiciously without turning her head, pretending to read.

“Yes, Nova?” She said, casually, even though I was pretty sure, she knew what I was going to ask her.

“You and Harry.” I nudged her and she let out a deep sigh.

“Forget it, Nova. I am not talking about it.” She turned the page of her book, pretending to be unbothered by my question.

“Hey, you were the first one to know about me and Charlie, I have the right to know.” I acted offended.

“There's nothing to tell. He doesn't fancy me.” She tried to keep her voice normal, but I knew her too well to know she wasn't okay with it.

“Oh, give him time! There is something going on in his life every year at Hogwarts!” I wasn't wrong. I couldn't believe how peaceful we had it compared to him. The Stone, the Basilisk, his Godfather last year. The kid has some stuff going on!

“Yeah, right.” She chortled, trying not to get her hopes up.

“Look, sometimes boys need longer. He'll come around.” I tried to encourage her. It was obvious Harry had too much on his mind to think about having a crush.

“Wasn't it the other way around with you and Charlie?” She winked at me, a smirk painting her face.

She was right. Charlie started fancying me in our Third Year and I needed about a century to realize that having him as a friend wasn't enough.

“That's beside the point. I was blind!” I laughed.

“You really were.” She leaned on my shoulder. “I don't know, Nova. Perhaps, I'm too young.” She finally gave in to talking about him.

“Rubbish!” I started brushing her hair with my fingers. “He's only one year older than you.”

“And he's Ron's best friend!” She continued. “You know how protective he is!” I chuckled. I knew all too well.

That evening when we told our families that we are together, 11-year-old Ron cornered Charlie and threatened him to learn the meanest hex at Hogwarts and use it on him if he hurts me. And Charlie is his family, not me.

“If you two would fall in love, I am sure he would understand.” My fingers still in her hair.

“It's ridiculous if you think about it.” She closed her book. “I fancied him since I was 10 and he knows too.” She lowered her head.

“You are beating yourself over it too much!” I pulled her in a half hug. “You're going to be in your Third Year this year. You still have time.”

“Do you ever wish you and Charlie started dating sooner?” She looked at me with those beautiful eyes. They were the same as Molly's.

“I used to.” I answered honestly. “When I realized how long I liked him for and how long Charlie had feelings for me, I wished we would've gotten together sooner, but I am certain we came together at the right time and I wouldn't change a thing.” My lips curved as memories started rolling in front of my eyes.

“So, you're saying to just be patient?” She asked.

“Perhaps but also don't find yourself waiting for him. Enjoy your life. If it's meant to be, you two will come together at the right time.” I smiled at her.

“Thank you, Nova!” She hugged me so tightly that she could give Molly a run for her Galleons. “You're the best sister!”

My cheeks turned pink. Every time Ginny called me her sister it melted my heart. She adored me since she was 4 years old and always made me feel so included in their family. That never changed, even now that I was part of the family.

We helped Molly with dinner, even though it was much easier cooking for only 3 people for a change. Now that everyone was at Hogwarts, Molly could relax a bit as she and Arthur were alone most of the time during the school year.

I couldn't believe how much fun we were having. Molly was a completely different person when the boys weren't around. I don't think I have ever seen her so relaxed. She told us all about how she and Arthur fell in love and all the cheesy gifts he has given her over the years. I knew she enjoyed talking about it to us as I am sure the boys wouldn't be so keen on listening to their perfect love story.

The two days passed quicker than Charlie would catch a Snitch! Ginny has already gone to bed as she gave up on waiting for the lot to come back as we weren't sure exactly when that would be and I knew she wanted to avoid seeing Harry. I was sitting in the living room, in Molly's usual spot, as it was easier for me to write my reports in an armchair and since Molly went upstairs to take a bath I reckoned I would have some alone time to finish my report on the Chimera which was still in the Sanctuary.

It was a tough creature to work with but I didn't lose patience and Felix and Andrei told me that there is no rush to have a revelation. Dragons and Chimeras were creatures that both had such strong magical energy and I knew getting them together was not going to be easy. At first, I thought that the Chinese Fireball would warm up to the creature but almost made me bald instead as he breathed fire straight into me to let me know he does not approve of my friend.

Charlie wanted to help me but Ajax, the Chimera wasn't that fond of him and got vicious every time Charlie was near me. I considered him to be jealous as I befriended the creature on my own. Norbert was doing the best with Ajax, out of all Dragons, and Charlie was rather proud of him for that. He was the one who took care of Norbert the most and as he was almost fully grown and has gotten a bit out of control and more stubborn it was a miracle that he got along with Ajax.

“Nova, dear!” I lifted my head from my scribbling at Molly's words. “You should go to bed.” She came down the stairs in her nightgown.

“I have to finish this report.” I smiled at her as she started to the kitchen.

“Want some tea?” She whispered to the best of her abilities as she put the kettle on. I nodded, her eyes were still on me.

“You're not going to bed?” I smiled at her as she sat down on the sofa.

“Oh, no!” She shook her head. “You know me. I constantly think of my boys.” She swung her hand as if worrying for them was the only thing she did.

“Should I move? I'm in your seat.” I finally noticed and started moving my papers around.

“No, dear. You sit and don't let me bother you.” She grinned. “I just want some company.” I lowered my head down to finish the report. I only had a conclusion to write anyway.

When I put my quill down and closed my ink bottle I looked up at Molly and saw her staring at me. I couldn't stop my cheeks from turning bright pink.

“I'm sorry.” She put her cup down. “Sometimes I just can't phantom how lucky Charlie is to have you.” My heart started racing at that. I could never get enough of her compliments and I always started missing my mum when she said things like this.

“Well, I should say the same.” My lips curved. “I always feel that I'm the lucky one.”

“I just wish Bill would find someone as well, you know.” She sighed. Me too. Bill was so great and I couldn't believe he wasn't seeing anyone special.

He wrote to me a couple of times about this girl he was seeing that was also a Curse Breaker but it didn't go well. He did fancy this girl he met at Gringotts once but nothing came out of that either.

“He will.” I stood up and sat down next to Molly. “He just hasn't found that special someone yet.” I wanted to reassure her. There wasn't a doubt in my mind that Bill won't find a nice girl to settle down with.

“And what are you two waiting for, anyway?” She asked after a moment of her nodding and staring at the fireplace.

“What?” I didn't exactly know where she was aiming with her question.

“Four years of being together and no ring on your finger.” She raised an eyebrow at me. I knew this was coming.

“We...” I felt like I was 16 and had to explain to my mum why I got detention. “We are in no hurry.” I scratched the back of my neck.

“In no hurry!” Molly scoffed. “You two are as perfect as anyone can be. You should be married and pregnant by now.” My eyes widened at her words. I was not ready to have a baby yet. I was only 22!

“Well, we talked about it, and with the field of work we're both in we don't feel like it's the right time.” I was being honest. My career was only getting better and better and Charlie is in for a promotion.

And to be fair, we might've talked about us getting married on rare occasions but we have never talked about having children. I knew I wanted to have a family and I knew Charlie felt the same but we never discussed it beyond that. I couldn't imagine raising a child next to Dragons and a Chimera.

“Nonsense!” Molly waved her hand at me. “There is never a right time. These things just happen.” I didn't know how to respond to that. I knew she and Arthur got married fresh out of Hogwarts and Bill came soon after but I wasn't planning to follow in her footsteps.

“Right now,” I started slowly, “being just the two of us is enough for Charlie and me.” Her expression softened a bit. She had a soft spot for our relationship.

“I understand.” She put her hands on mine. “But at least give marriage a thought. You would be such a beautiful bride.”

“A crying bride.” I chuckled and she joined me. I know I was going to cry at my wedding even more than I did at Penny's.

“Don't let your job be an excuse.” She brushed the lock of hair, that fell over my cheek, away. “You two love each other too much not to celebrate it and have a family.” She said in a soft voice that melted my heart.

She wasn't wrong. I caught myself daydreaming about having a family with Charlie more than I would like to admit. Perhaps we could talk about it even though I knew we would eventually get there.

“Bill has to get there first.” I tried to stir the conversation back to him as I didn't know what to add. If he was here, he would kill me.

“Right!” Molly rolled her eyes as she was reminded yet again that her eldest son didn't have a significant other.

She opened her mouth to say something else but she stopped as her eyes widened, looking at something behind me. I turned around and saw that she was staring at the Weasley Family Clock and the hands on the clock those of Arthur, Bill, Charlie, Percy, Fred, George, and Ron turned from Quidditch to Mortal Peril.

We looked at each other and stood up. We were so deep in conversation that we didn't notice the time.

“When are they supposed to be back?” Molly whispered as I was sure she couldn't manage anything else. I could feel her shaking next to me.

“I am sure it is nothing they can't handle.” I tried reassuring her even though I felt my throat tighten.

We walked outside to the garden and sat down on the bench. I knew we would be able to spot them as soon as they return with the Portkey. It seemed we were waiting for hours. I could feel Molly drifting away on my shoulder and then lifting her head realizing she almost fell asleep. I tried to keep my focus on the spot where I knew the Portkey was and I couldn't help but get more nervous by the minute.

I went inside to make us some tea and my eyes turned to the clock. Still Mortal Peril. What was going on? How could they be in danger at the Quidditch World Cup? I couldn't understand and imagine what could've happened and that was the scariest part.

I went up to take a shower as the sun was almost rising. I couldn't sit still and look at the same spot anymore. It was making me too anxious. I came back down and used a Drying Charm on my hair as I heard the hands on the clock move. I hurried in front of it and the hands one by one started to move from Mortal Peril to Home.

“Molly!” I shouted and rushed outside. She was standing by the edge of the garden, her hands to her cheeks, looking at the Hill where the Portkey was. Percy was the first that I could see. He looked like a mess and a sense of worry on his face. George and Fred followed and then I saw Bill, his hand was wrapped in bandages.

My heart leaped as Percy, Fred and George reached us and Molly pulled them into a hug. Where were the others? Fred saw my worried face and came to hug me.

“He's alright.” He whispered in my ear and my heart started slowing down.

Before I could ask him where is Charlie and what in the hell happened, I saw him walking next to Arthur toward us. As Bill came to us and I pulled him into a hug, he winced at the pain in his arm. He smiled at me and nodded for me to go to Charlie. I started shaking and I couldn't just stand there, waiting for them to reach us.

I ran so fast that I thought I wouldn't be able to stop myself as I was nearing them. Charlie picked up his pace to meet me halfway and spread his arms as I ran into him with such a force, that he let out a small 'oof'.

“I'm okay.” He said gently, his fingers buried in my hair as we stood in the middle of the field, embraced.

“What in the bloody hell happened?” I asked as I finally let go of him and we started walking towards the Burrow.

“Death Eaters.” Charlie exasperated, pulling me in a half hug.

“Death...” I couldn't grasp the fact that they were attacked at the Quidditch World Cup.

“Where are Ron, Hermione, and Harry?” I asked.

“They aren't back?” Arthur said, looking around the Garden. Molly and I both shook our heads.

They explained what happened. How the Dark Mark appeared in the sky and how they accused Harry of conjuring it. How the loud voices and burning tents woke them up and how they tried fighting them back before they suddenly fled.

“An elf conjuring the Mark?” I repeated Percy's words, incredulously. “That sounds ridiculous.”

“That's what we said but she has been found with Harry's wand.” Arthur pursed his lips, not believing it either.

Charlie and I exchanged looks. We knew this didn't mean anything good. There have been rumors that He Who Must Not Be Named was coming back and will regain his power but we dismissed the rumors up until now. The Dark Mark wasn't a good sign and now I wished to be there so I could've fought with them.

—

Charlie and I accompanied the lot to the Hogwarts Express before we would have to return to Romania. Charlie kept teasing the twins with a secret we knew and they didn't. Hogwarts was going to host the Triwizard Tournament and Charlie was assigned to bring 4 Dragons to the school in November. He was beyond excited and I wished I could go with him.

“You'll find out soon enough.” Molly chuckled as she waved at the boys on the train. I couldn't help but get nostalgic and as I looked up at Charlie, amused that his brothers were clueless about what was going to happen, I couldn't help but picture us waving our kids goodbye like this in the future.

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closedafterdark · 4 years

Text

Part Timer

Dreamcatcher Minji x Male Reader

6644 words

categories: smut, oral, creampie, employee minji

Read on AFF

Note: Brief mention of Dreamcatcher members from nsfwtwicecatcher’s stories.

Life works in mysterious ways.

Walking into a convenience store can be quite the stimulating experience.

The familiar tune of the doorbell being rung upon entering. The relieving rush of air conditioning. Thousands of plastic packages covered in bright colors ranging from simple descriptions of the item with cutesy cartoon animal characters to promotional shots of the model approving of the product.

It can be hard to navigate the refrigerated section of triangle kimbap with various fillings or the hundreds of bottles of tea in assorted flavors.

From wanting to expand lunch options, picking out the best snack for a quick break from life, or finally finding that specific ramen flavor that brought back fond memories, convenience stores have something for everyone.

Convenience stores were especially popular with the younger demographic. The affordability of the products meant a high school student's allowance or a college student's frugality can both stretch their money significantly. Most stores took advantage of this, often doing promotional deals such as buy one, get one or multiples of a product for a discounted amount.

"That'll be 9,000 won please" the cashier says after scanning two red Marlboro boxes.

You were patiently waiting your turn, a cup of ramen and banana milk in your arms.

Once the person in front of you pays for their cigarettes after complaining why the tobacco tax was so high, you place the items down next to the cash register.

"That'll be 2,000 won please"

Fumbling around your pockets, you realize you were out of money. You were completely broke after paying this month's rent and your friends wanting to celebrate one of your oldest friends getting promoted in their corporate job. You had enough money to pay with cash but remembered you had an app that contained store credits.

As you hand the cashier your phone, you look up. She wore a blue, orange and green tri-colored vest that replicated the colors outside the store. Her nametag was neatly placed on the left side, the GS-25 logo clearly visible. Underneath the vest was a white crewneck sweater with Mickey Mouse imprinted across.

Her smile was very inviting, making you question how she was able to keep such a cheerful expression for long periods of time. Her makeup less face complimented her dark, chestnut hair that was playfully teased to give a slightly wavy look. You felt quite shabby seeing how beautiful she was even in such a simple outfit. You had thrown on a pair of joggers and wore the same Mickey Mouse shirt you wore to bed last night, the shirt creased from you tossing back and forth trying to fall asleep from the summer heat.

"Oh, you like Mickey too?" She says as she hands back your phone after scanning the QR code, getting your attention.

"Huh? Oh yeah, I have a lot of these kinda shirts at home"

"Really? So do I. Mickey's my favorite" she said, her warm smile washing away whatever embarrassed feelings you had previously.

"Kim Jiyoo" you said, reading the name tag on her vest.

"That's me" Jiyoo replies, her eyes shining brightly at the delight of her name being called. "My real name is actually Minji, but my family and friends have been calling me Jiyoo forever that I've gotten used to it"

"I see. Well thank you for the items, Miss Jiyoo Minji" you reply, smiling at her.

"Please, either Jiyoo or Minji is fine" she giggles. "I haven't seen your face before"

"Yeah, I just moved to the neighborhood yesterday" you explain. "Finally living on my own"

"Really? I'm so jealous. I still have to live at home with my parents and brother" Minji pouted, puffing her cheeks at you with a cute sad reaction.

"Hey, stay positive! I'm sure you'll be able to move out soon!"

"Really? You think so?"

"Ahem"

You and Minji turn around and see an extremely large line has formed behind you, almost reaching the entrance. This store was extremely popular, you're sure having a beautiful woman as the employee made it that way.

You apologize to the customers and bow.

"Thank you again, Minji" you say, quickly grabbing your things and beginning to leave.

"Wait, I didn't catch your name!" Minji yells, tilting her head to see where you were.

"I'll drop by again tomorrow!" You yell, briefly being seen again by the door before leaving. Minji wanted to talk more, but was pleased to know you would be returning the next day. She smiled brightly at the customers and quickly got them in and out of the store.

And drop by the next day you did. Everyday for the entire month in fact. Some nights were slower than others, which allowed you and Minji to really get to know each other. Most of the time you didn't really need to buy anything, but dropped by anyways because you looked forward to your daily conversations with her. Minji would complain to you about the rude customers she had to deal with or how her and a group of friends had aspirations to be famous one day.

"What are you guys calling yourselves again?" You asked, slurping up noodles Minji made for you both.

"Dreamcatcher! We want fans to dream of us" Minji replies with her mouth full of ramen.

"That's the stupidest name I've ever heard! I preferred the first one you gave. What was it called? Minx?" You laughed at her, probably not the smartest thing to do. Minji pouted and hit your shoulder before replying.

"Ugh gross! I guarantee you this is what'll happen if we were named Minx. We'll debut with a cute concept. Two years will go by with steady growth but still no traction. We disband and go our separate ways" Minji yells, pointing her chopsticks at you in anger.

"So, tell me about these friends of yours" you ask, taking a rather large chug of water.

"Hmm, what's there to say? I'm the oldest out of all 7 of us. We all have day jobs so it's hard to find time to meet. Here's a photo of some of them" Minji replies as she scrolls through her phone, handing you it as you see three women: one towering over the other two as they smile brightly, posing in business like clothing.

"The giant's name is Kim Yoohyun. We call her the silver puppy. Kim Bora's the busty one you see there. That bitch really needs to cover her tits. Anyways, the small bean on the right is Lee Gahyun, an intern. Yoo and Bora have been with the company for several years now. Gahyun was about to be fired due to slacking on the job, but she and Bora managed to entice their coworker into letting her stay"

"Enticed how? And wow, Yoohyun has an ass on her" you say, scrolling through Minji's phone and finding a photo of her friend posing for the camera.

"Give me that!" Minji says, yanking her phone from you.

"Let's just say the girls have an... interesting relationship with Bora's coworker"

"Noona!"

The two of you see a younger man approach your table. He looked like a carbon copy of Minji, just taller. And a guy.

"Taehyun, what are you doing here?"

"Mom asked me to ask you for some money. “Oh, hey hyung”

Minji takes some money out of her wallet, but retracts it when Taehyun reaches for it.

"What is this for?"

"She wants to buy pastries from the baker that just opened up"

"Are you sure? Ah, mom has her own money. Why does she keep asking me for some”

"Yes" Taehyun replies, snatching the money from her hand before running. Thanks noona!"

"Ah, that kid. I already know he's gonna spend it at the pc bang. Sorry about my dumb brother. Like I was saying, Bora and her coworker are pretty much senior members at the company. All the responsibility for zero increase in pay. When it came to intern evaluations to see who was going to be cut, her coworker convinced Bora that Gahyun would be their intern after some… interesting evaluations”

"So they slept with him?"

"Yoo was the first one, being his personal secretary and all. She said he dropped a pen one day during a business call and when she went to pick it up under his desk, she saw what he was hiding under his slacks so she sucked him off. Bora’s encounter with him happened when they worked late one night and got caught in a storm, so they ended up getting a hotel room for the night. Even though he's had turns with Gahyun and Bora, I really think him and puppy will end up together. She already spends half of the week at his place anyways and goes on and on about how great in bed he is"

"Well, I now know about your friends that I've never met before's sex life quite clearly. Anyway, even though it’s bad, I like that option about you guys disbanding and going your separate ways. It means you and I will get to date" you tease.

"Oh yeah? And what makes you so sure I'll date you?"

"Oh come on, Minji. It's so obvious you're into me. You look like an adorable puppy waiting for me at the exact same time everyday"

"Psh. As if! I look forward to when my shift ends. You just help time pass faster" Minji puffs her cheeks and pouts. It was one of your favorite reactions from her. You pinch her cheek and she blushes in embarrassment from your briefly intimate interaction.

"Don't worry, I like you too"

Minji looks up at you, her eyes beaming with excitement.

"You do?"

"Of course I do. I don't come here everyday just because of the snacks. Although, I am looking at a snack right now" you wink at her.

You lean forward. Minji's eyes widen like a deer in headlights. Unsure of what was going to happen, she closes her eyes and puckers her lips in anticipation. Smirking, you decided to tease her.

"You really should brush your hair sometime. You look less cute than usual" you softly say, as your face is mere centimeters from hers.

She opens her eyes and sees how close you two are. Her surprised expression soon changes to embarrassment.

"Why did you pucker your lips? Think I was going to kiss you?"

Smack.

You catch Minji off guard by giving her a delicate kiss on the lips. She touches it right away, unsure of what just happened.

"Why don't I work here? You did say your family wants a part timer to help out. Plus, we'll get to see each other more. Dating in the workplace can be cute. Like the silver puppy and her boss. Wait, you’re eating again? Where does it all go?”

“Food isn’t the only thing I eat”

Your newfound confessions blossomed into a tender relationship. The honeymoon phase was always wholesome. You two wanted to be around each other, often staying up late on the phone or sending cute gifs. Minji was a lovable girlfriend, pouting whenever you teased her.

There were cameras everywhere, so you two had to be discreet when it came to kissing. Minji showed you where the blind spots were, both of you using it to your advantage to sneak in quick pecks or longer smooches. As your relationship went on, both of you became more daring.

Your hand might as well have been super glued to Minji's butt from the amount of times you would smack it during your shifts. She in turn would reciprocate, slapping your butt or squeezing your crotch when she knew no customers were around. The first form of physical intimacy occurred when Minji called you into the employee area one day to help her get a box from a high shelf.

"Thank you for the help, baby. I didn't realize how high the extra cups were placed" Minji turns around and smiles at you.

You don't reply, instead choosing to pull her into your embrace. She looks up at you, anticipating what your next move would be.

"You make me happy, Kim Minji" you tell her running your hand through her long brown locks before pecking her lips. Minji takes initiative and puts her hand behind your head, pulling you in for another kiss. She starts off slow, nibbling at your lower lip. This elicits surprise from you. You've given each other pecks or simple kisses, but never fully made out. You had both just started dating and you didn't want to do anything to make Minji feel like you were going to take advantage of her.

Minji continues to take charge, inserting her tongue into your mouth. Your eyes eventually close, giving into the temptation. You both were supposed to be working, but here you both were, sucking on each other's faces in the employee room. Minji finally releases her mouth from yours when she began to feel dizzy from the lack of oxygen. You were no better, beads of perspiration forming on your forehead as your chest heaves from oxygen finally flowing into your body.

Minji smiles at you, a seemingly innocent one. But her cheerful expression soon shows a certain twinkle in her eyes. You knew that expression all too well. It was the same one she made whenever she talked about her group member's escapades. Minji already wanted you both to take the next step and be intimate, but you kept declining. The truth was, Minji was your first ever girlfriend. You didn't want to disappoint her. Although she has squeezed your crotch several times, you allowed it since she respected your wishes and never overstepped the boundaries you set. Also, you would end up going home and releasing that sexual frustration with your hand anyways. But this time, you knew what was gonna happen.

"I know we agreed to not having sex yet, but there are ... other ways to be pleasured" Minji said, her words dripping with pure seduction as she got down on her knees.

"And it all starts by doing this"

"B-baby, we're at work. We c-can't do this"

"I need you" Minji murmurs, just loud enough for you to hear. "I want you" she had already unzipped your vest and removed your shirt. She gives your crotch a firm squeeze before reaching for the button on your jeans. As she unzips your pants, Minji shows you her beautiful eye smile. It melts your heart, you wonder how someone so sweet can be committing such sin.

Minji peppers your stomach with kisses, each leaving a thin string of saliva. Your boxers did a poor job at hiding what was underneath. Normally, your erections would go away after quickly. But today, you seemed to be consistently hard. It definitely didn't help that Minji would grope you every chance she could. And so, with a new toy to be played with seemingly in front of her, she grabs onto the elastic edge before swiftly pulling it down. Your agonizingly hard cock hits Minji's nostrils. She giggles, licking her lips at what is now presented in front of her.

"I'll make this quick babe. But not too quick. Don't want you bursting right away" she says, wrapping her delicate hand around your shaft. She could feel you pulsing in her grip, one that was loose enough that it left you wanting more. She begins with careful, sliding strokes, each one sending spikes of unrestrained pleasure throughout your body, increasing her tempo slightly at the end of each stroke, all while never breaking eye contact with you. The lewdness of it all, your girlfriend asserting herself as the dominant one in your relationship. She mixes things up by swirling her hand around your tip a few times, forming her fingers into a loose representation of a claw and captures your head, raking it a few times. You moan, continuing to run your fingers through her hair, hoping she would take the hint. Even though she coerced you into this situation, there was no turning back now. It has to happen.

“You’re so hard already” she moans, lubricating her lips once more with anticipation.

She doesn’t even give you time to breathe as she slowly opens her mouth, sinking her head as she draws closer and closer to you. She releases her grip on you, choosing to caress both of your hips for support until her lips finally connect with your head. The warm and soft flesh connecting with yours instantly makes you feel lost in their tight hold. Minji gets to work right away, her lips forming an air tight seal around you as they glide back and forth. Each suck is punctuated by the smack of skin on skin as she begins to take you entirely in her mouth. Your fingers that were previously running through her hair now grip the back of her head, pressing it each time. Minji goes deeper, putting her full effort into pleasuring you, her head bobbing back and forth rapidly. Occasional muffled gags are released as your shaft reaches the back of her throat. The little signs she showed of having a gag complex are soon proven to be temporary as once she has warmed up enough, Minji begins to be able to keep you inside her mouth for longer stretches. As her pace quickens, she teases you by showing a few tricks such as licking up and down your shaft, starting from the base until she reaches the tip, and taking both of your balls in her mouth at once.

“You’re close”

These were the first words either of you have said since Mini began, communicating like cavemen through grunts and body language. This was the first intimate experience for you both but it feels like Minji knows your own body better than you do. You wonder if she’s had practice before or if her group members told her about the signs that a man is about to orgasm. Compared to when you first started, your knees were getting weak from the pleasure. Your muscles were painfully tight from not wanting to burst right away. Minji releases your sack from her mouth, a popping sound that sounds like a symphony for your ears as she teased you by sucking each ball individually several times. She returns to using her hand, stroking you fast and hard. Minji lines up your seemingly ready to burst shaft with her tongue, using it as a runway for your fast approaching release. She looks up at you, her eyes practically pleading, begging for you to ejaculate in her mouth.

“Please, babe?” She pleads. “Please give me your come?”

Those were your activation words. It sends you over the edge and your release comes hard, weakening your knees even more that you thought you were gonna collapse. You grip onto Minji’s head for support as she takes you inside her mouth one final time. The thick white fluid escapes from you, gushing out at a high burst of speed. You felt the initial few hit the back of her throat. Once the initial rush of dopamine subsides, you loosen your hold on her, letting her know your orgasm is finished. Minji laps up the remaining few squirts, stroking you a few times to make sure that you’re completely empty. With one final kiss on your tip, she flashes her signature eye smile at you before standing up.

“Thanks for the afternoon snack, babe. Hope I didn’t make you see black or white”

You were sweating profusely, none of your previous orgasms had been that intense. Minji giggles, kissing you one final time before staring at the mirror and fixing her appearance to at least be somewhat presentable.

“I love you honey. Now let’s finish this shift shall we? I take it you’re ready for us to finally have sex. Make sure you’re ready for me tonight. I’ll make sure you scream” Minji blows you one last kiss before opening the door and greeting a customer who was ready to purchase food.

You were still feeling the aftereffects from Minji’s blowjob throughout your shift. If you didn’t know any better, it seemed like she didn’t even do it from how she was acting normally around customers. You were distracted, getting jumpy from customers asking you to scan their items or yelling at you for handing them the wrong carton of cigarettes. Once Minji locks up the store, she puts her keys away before interlocking her fingers with yours. The walk home was peaceful, no dogs barking and very few cars passing by. Minji was in a very cheerful mood, singing songs about flowers and summer love.

The two of you enter your apartment and Minji heads over to your room. She’s stayed over several times, and by doing so unofficially lives with you as many of her belongings and intimates are sprawled throughout your home. As you place the dinner order, Minji comes out, wearing a simple outfit that consists of pajama shorts that end ever so slightly below her bottom and a white crop top with Slytherin embroidered on it. An appropriate shirt to be wearing considering what she did to you at the store earlier. She removed her contacts and is now wearing giant circle lens glasses. After dinner, the two of you are sitting on the couch watching a rerun of some movie you forgot the name of. Minji was sitting on your lap, your right arm embracing her legs.

“Babe, we’re supposed to be watching the movie. Why is your dick poking my ass?”

You respond by sliding your hand down Minji’s crotch, not surprised at the lack of undergarments. You take two fingers and thrust them inside her core.

“Do you know how horny you made me today? It was all I could think about at work” you snarl, increasing the pace of your thrusts inside her.

“A-ah!” Minji’s juices lubricated your fingers, making the squelching sounds loud as you continued to finger her. “Faster, keep going”

You pull out your fingers just as Minji was about to climax, ruining her orgasm.

“Babe! What the fuck, I was about to come!”

“I just can’t do it. Babe, the reason why I’ve been prolonging sex was not to torture you” you sighed deeply. “It was cause I was embarrassed for you to find out I’m still a virgin”

“Is that what all this is about? Babe. You’re my boyfriend, I love you. I don’t care if you’re a virgin. It would be more meaningful because it’s you. I’m proud of you, that takes a lot of courage to say. But if we’re being honest… I am too”

“What?” You were so surprised, Minji seemed like an expert.

“I’ve pretty much done everything except penetration. Most guys just wanted to get in my pants without us getting to know one another. I compromised by telling them I’d give them head whenever they wanted. But with you, I’m okay with giving my first time to. I mean it”

Minji gives you another powerful kiss, reaffirming her love for you. You inserted your tongue this time, wanting to thank her for this morning.

“Looks like you kept your promise about being ready to go right now after my present for you this afternoon” your girlfriend says, speaking in a more husky tone. Minji began grinding on your lap. Moving her butt up and down, causing you to reach inside her shirt and grab her breasts, hungrily massaging them. It thrilled you knowing she was not wearing a bra, her nipples hard enough that they could pierce steel.

Minji guides you to the bedroom, turning around so that you’re facing each other. She begins her assault and kisses you, the two of you begin running your hands through each other’s body. Your clothes are instantly removed, being deemed unnecessary as both of your bodies increase in temperature: you almost tear off Minji’s shorts revealing her smooth, milky legs. She returns the favor by ripping the buttons off your shirt, her hands running through your chest and stomach with wanton vigor. She pulls your pajama pants down to your ankles as the two of you return to the fierce dance your mouths were participating in.

"Ah, babe. There's a bag near the nightstand. I got a little present for you"

You part yourself from Minji just enough to reach the pink colored bag on your nightstand. You take a peek inside and are greeted with a can of whipped cream. Under different circumstances, you would've wondered why there wasn't any ice cream. You hand them to Minji, smiling.

"Just thought you wanted a small snack before the main course" she said, shaking the can of whipped cream. She playfully applies two swirls on her breasts. They weren't the biggest breasts, but you loved them no matter what. But especially when they contained a sweet treat on them.

You instantly capture one, Minji's back arching in pleasure as the artificially sweetened substance fills your taste buds. It soon melts away revealing the real treat: chocolate syrup covered nipples. You make sure to not leave the other breast, devouring both mounds leaving only the syrup behind. Minji's moans echo throughout the bedroom, her skin's temperature being raised from the feeling of the cold whipped cream melting from your touch. You take the time to appreciate her naked body, giving her breasts as many kisses as you could.

You take the canister of whipped cream and without instruction, apply a generous amount on her clit.

"I've never done this before but it only seems right to repay you" you say, your voice trembling.

Warm colorless liquid was already beginning to slowly leak out of Minji. It seems like she was already aroused from having stuff eaten off her body. You dive in, lapping up the liquid from her center before gradually moving up, reaching the bright white prize. Minji is unable to control herself, her body squirming as she grips the back of your head and pushes you deeper. You move your hands up until they find her breasts, gently massaging them before pinching her nipples softly. The feeling you were giving her of eating her out along with playing her nipples was earth shattering. Obviously you were inexperienced, but with advice from Minji to form letters of the alphabet with your mouth, her initial giggles were soon replaced with moans, wanting you to not stop. You wanted her to orgasm, before diving into the main course.

The ever so slight musk scent was intoxicating. Minji chose to keep herself cleanly waxed, not a trace of hair in sight. You wanted to build her up, tease her for her agonizing blowjob earlier. But you show restraint, not giving in to your desires.

"Oh, fuck. Keep eating my pussy babe. Please"

You oblige, continuing your oral assault on her womanhood. You place your hands on her hips, causing them to involuntarily buck into your face. Your tongue darts in and out of her right hole. She wraps her thighs around your neck, forcing you to go deeper. It doesn't take very long until the muscles of her walls tighten, signaling her climax. Just as Minji is about to reach euphoria, you pull away for the second time tonight. Minji is rightfully pissed, her second orgasm of the night is ruined just as it was about to arrive.

"Why the fuck did you stop?" She angrily demands.

You choose to hold your throbbing cock in your hand. Minji sees this, her anger subsiding as she knows her erotic moans to your actions brought you back to life. Minji almost lost consciousness from the pleasure, trying to maintain focus as you both about to lose your virginities.

"B-be gentle, okay?" She whimpers.

You nod, giving her a reassuring kiss. You hold her left leg up, giving you a much easier access to the treasure that awaited you.

You make sure to prepare her for it, rubbing your tip against her lips several times. It was now or never. You guide your cock into her. She grimaces in pain as you finally enter her, her walls are extremely tight as inch by inch sinks inside. You're about three fourths of the way in as you give Minji another kiss to calm her down and hopefully relieve some of the initial pain. She wraps both of her arms around her neck, nodding at you to continue. At last, you fully enter Minji. Her walls are painfully tight, you weren't sure how you were able to fit.

Once you give her adequate time to get used to your cock, you start fucking. The first thrust causes her to whimper. She whines during the second one, but by the third thrust Minji's feelings of pain are replaced with pleasure. She loses all sense of self control, becoming a gasping, moaning mess as your hard cock increases in tempo and moves in and out of her. Both your breaths are heavy, you lock eyes with one another. You were both lost in the heat of passion. Her pussy is welcoming, extremely soft and complying to your rapid movements.

Before long, Minji has become fully accustomed to your dick, clawing at your back. Whispering in your ear to fuck her like you mean it. She's begging you for more, finding small bursts of energy to kiss you with what little oxygen is flowing through her body. Your bodies are extremely hot and sweaty at this point. You gently knead her soft, delicate mounds once again.

You were constantly out of breath yourself, your exhales devolving into monotone grunts. Minji's pussy continues to constrict your cock as the bed frame creaks from the two of you’s actions. You take note of your girlfriend's face: doe looking eyes, cheeks that were cute enough to pinch, luscious pink lips and the cutest nose you wanted to boop.

"Babe, why don't we try a different position? Yoo's always telling me about how good it feels to be fucked from behind"

Minji turns around and shakes her cute bottom at you. You spank it, the sound echoing throughout your room. You give each cheek four firm slaps before positioning yourself inside her once again.

"Oh, fuck. You feel even bigger than before"

Minji unconsciously tightens her vaginal muscles and you are provided with an utterly wonderful feeling.

“Holy fuck” you grunt. “Do it again baby” you beg as you thrust into her again.

She listens to you, clenching her muscles even harder. Minji is rewarded with cries of pleasure.

Your hand returns to her bottom, palming each tenderly before giving a loud spank. Minji decides to take control and impales herself onto your shaft, your bodies grinding against each other.

“A-ah, oh my god” Minji groans as her eyes roll to the back of her head. It seems you have found Minji’s sensitive spot. Having located it, control returns to you as you penetrate her cave and continue hitting her weakness. Minji’s stomach began getting heavier, she knew what was fast approaching. You could tell what it was from her body language. Minji tries desperately to grip onto your thighs, but it was no avail. You abuse her sensitive area as hard as you can, feeling her freshly manicured nails scratch your thighs, her body trembling in pleasure as the orgasm finally hits.

“Babe!” Your name escapes her lips in a hybrid scream/whisper repeatedly. You continue thrusting into her, albeit at a much slower pace due to how sensitive she was.

“You came so much, baby” you say, leaning forward to kiss her back.

“B-babe, stop. I wanna ride you now” she says, turning her head slightly. From her tone, it wasn’t a demand; but rather a request. Who were you to deny your girlfriend the pleasure she is seeking.

“Oh my godddd” Minji mutters as she impales herself onto your shaft. She doesn’t bother giving herself time to adjust to your size. Her mind is clouded at this point, only wanting pleasure and nothing else. You close your eyes, throwing your head back as her warm, velvety walls close tightly around you. Minji notices how much her pussy has an effect on you: your eyebrows furrow, you grit your teeth slightly, your Adam’s apple moving forward slightly as you gulp saliva.

Minji places her hands squarely on your chest, using them as support as she rocks her body back and forth. She could feel every ridge and pulsing vein rubbing against her walls. Now she realizes what Yoohyun meant when she said there is nothing that can replicate the feeling of having an actual dick inside you.

“Am I a slut babe?” Minji asks you. You were taken aback hearing her say such a thing about herself. “Because if it means I get fucked like this when we have sex, I want to be a slut. A whore who only wants your cock!”

Minji’s scream leaves her mouth suddenly as your dick hits her sensitive spot once more. It’s as if your mushroom headed looking tip has made it to her cervix. She grimaces slightly from the pain, but it makes her go crazy. Her toes curl in pleasure, digging themselves into the small crevice between your thighs and the bedsheets. With every downwards thrust into her body, Minji’s bottom is still tender from the spankings you gave her earlier.

Your hands roam her body and find their way up top. Minji’s legs were starting to give out, she lowers her body which allows you to capture her perky left nipple into your mouth. Using your tongue, you flick it. To add even more pleasure, you occasionally throw in a few soft bites. You cup each breast in your hand, squeezing them. To make things even worse for her already sensitive nipples, you blow cold air over them. Minji’s skin reacts, goosebumps littering her pale breasts.

Minji orgasms again, her walls painfully constricting you as the sudden flood of her nectar drenches your shaft. She captures your lips, wanting you to be happy of the pleasure you were giving her. Her orgasm was strong, but not strong enough to push you out of her. As such, trails of her liquid begin to leak out and coat your balls.

Her breathing is erratic, the back to back orgasms she endured caused her chest to heave. You find her nipples once more, tasting them. “Mmm, babe” her body was still sensitive. She tried pulling you away from her embrace, but you don’t care. You continue on with your oral assault, alternating between each breast.

Minji is kissing you senseless, and you take the chance of her being momentarily distracted to push yourself inside her once again. “Oooh” she moaned in pleasure. Her back has returned to the bed. You grab her thighs, pushing each apart momentarily before wrapping them around your waist. Minji embraces you as you thrust, her bottom syncing with yours.

“Babe… please keep fucking me. Don’t stop. Please, please, please. Don’t… stop… ahhhh!” Minji moans while trying to catch her breath. She was desperate. Gone was the aggressive woman who teased you about you both not having done the deed yet. All Minji wanted now was to come, and to make you come as well.

The room sounds like a symphony of moans, wet flesh slapping against one another and the consummation of a relationship being taken to the next level. Minji wraps her arms around your neck, her breasts pressed up against your own chest. Despite being the one to initiate things, there was a slight tint of red on her face as she could hear the lewd sounds your lower bodies were making.

You continue to thrust inside Minji. You were tired, but you had held back from being intimate with a woman for far too long. You savored Minji’s body, her lovely moans following each of your thrusts. Her breasts jiggled up and down from your swift movement.

“I’m gonna come” she manages to squeak out. You were so focused on fucking her you temporarily lost the ability to speak, grunting in order to acknowledge her. “I can’t hold it… aaahhhh…” Minji trembles, her body squirms as she clenches her walls around your shaft. Her flesh filled cave spasm along with his continuous thrusts.

“Aaahhh… yes, harder! Harder!”

You wanted to ask Minji where she wanted you to release. As you were about to do so, she lets out a loud scream. Your orgasm was fastly approaching.

“I’m coming baby!”

Minji’s thighs that were locked onto your waist pull you down. With one final powerful thrust, you reach the deepest part of her pussy. You emit a loud groan as your cock throbs erratically in her tight, velvety walls painting the inside with burning hot semen. You lose track of time in that moment, releasing sperm into her awaiting womb. It flows quickly and continuously, spreading all throughout her insides.

“Ohhhh my god” Minji’s body squirms in pleasure. Your orgasm triggers another one from her as well. With a quick kiss on her lips and one final thrust, you pull out, watching your bodies detach. Minji’s pussy is bright red, the poor victim of your sexual hunger. You watch as the slimy, white liquid oozes out of her. You hum in satisfaction, wiping off the sweat from your brows and caressing her face. As both of you struggle to catch your breaths, you lean down and give her a long, loving kiss.

Minji motions you to bring your cock near her mouth. Using the little strength she has left, she places a hand on your thigh as she is now face to face with your shaft. Your tip was bright red, glistening from the mixture of your love. She giggles as she sees her freshly released pussy juices and your sperm lathering your cock. She licks her lips with excitement before diving in. She wraps her left hand around your shaft, kissing the slit on your tip affectionately before putting it in her mouth. She makes eye contact with you, happy to see you clenching your teeth, trying to restrain yourself from grabbing her head and facefucking her.

Using the tips Yoohyun gave her, Minji swirls her tongue around your tip. She slowly draws a circle with her tongue around the slit. You groan in satisfaction, Minji couldn’t be happier at knowing she was pleasuring her boyfriend. Her pussy is tingling, slowly leaking out onto the bed sheets. Taking you in her mouth once more, she slips your cock in between her lips. Before going further into her mouth, her lips grip onto your shaft like a magnet. Once inside, Minji flattens her tongue below your tip. She sways it back and forth, left and right to tease you. She finds out she loves being in control just as much as she loves you taking control. Minji takes you all the way down her throat one last time before releasing her mouth’s hold on you with a loud pop. Her delicate hand cups your balls and with just enough grip, squeezes them. They were still heavy, even after how much you released. Minji knew they contained wonderful treats for her. The night was still young, and she was going to make sure she was going to empty you out. She takes her index finger and gently rakes your sack, you groan at the act being done to your sensitive area.

“Oh babe, I didn’t tell you. My parents ordered a bed for the breakroom at the store. We’re gonna have to break it in, you know? But before that… we have to change the sheets. And maybe continue this in the shower?”

#kpop smut #kpop fanfic #dreamcatcher smut #jiu smut #kim minji #male reader #reader insert

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