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wildstar25 · 25 days ago

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While it goes fairly similarly to how it would in game, there's a lot of backstory related nuance that kinda shifts the entire vibe of their reunion... this is fairly long so im putting it under a read more

When the Exarch told Arsay her next destination would have her hopefully meeting with Y'shtola, Arsay was beyond excited. After the twins, Y'shtola was the next person on Arsay's list that she really, really wanted to see. She rode that enthusiasm through the entire trip into the Great Woods. Not even Emet-Selch's pompous attitude and unwanted presence could cut through Arsay's cheer. Which was likely for the best, had she not have her best friend to look forward to she'd likely have wanted to rip the ascians head off rather than entertain conversation with him.

They found themselves surrounded. Arsay's humour was NOT appreciated by Thancred 🙄. Emet made a show about leaving them to their fate. And then she heard it, the voice Arsay had been wanting to hear all day, though called by a name not her own.

It took a moment for Arsay to process it all: The new look, the fact that all these people seemed to be at her command, her intense hostility... Still, it was Y'shtola! Y'shtola through and through! Arsay's heart nearly jumped into her throat once her brain caught up to her other senses.

(I love how from far away the pixels make it look like Arsay had a big open mouth smile. She was so excited to see her friend! Were she not at multiple arrow/magic staff point she'd be running up to give Y'shtola a hug.)

Arsay thought perhaps this was a prank? A little unlike Y'shtola but then again she did have a darker sense of humour. Plus Y'shtola knows Arsay likes a good gag now and again so maybe...? But sadly Y'shtola again seriously insisted they were sin eaters so that couldn't be the case. Arsay was at a lost for words- a rarity for her.

The mere suggestion that Y'shtola could have forgotten Arsay... her heart deflated like a balloon, all the joy it once held rushed out in an instance. Personally I think Urianger was covering his ass here trying to mask his knowledge of the light corruption. Still there was no way he knew just how devastating his words were to Arsay.

No, Urianger couldn't have known that Arsay had spent much of her life believing herself to have been forgotten by her parents as they left her in the south seas for greater adventures. That they wrote her but a single missive, where in which they promised to write more. He couldn't have know how, when no other letter arrived for her, she took it as a sign of being unwanted; not worth keeping their word for. He wouldn't have known much of what Arsay does, she does in hopes to touch the life of another in such a way that they might dare think of her from time to time, even if only in passing. Urianger wouldn't have a single clue how a simple notion spoken in whisper could send Arsay down an immediate spiral.

Arsay stares at Y'shtola, hands held firm in the air, praying for Urianger to be proven wrong.

Once before has Arsay's soul been knocked clean of her body, and had it not been for the absence of said body in her immediate vision she would have sworn it had happened again. She felt numb. Any other word spoken after "The one I know not." was static to her. There was no rational thought happening behind those wide eyes. Not even a slim chance that Arsay could be considering that something was perhaps wrong with her. All she could think about was the immense and sudden heartbreak she was actively experiencing.

Meanwhile, Y'shtola struggled to come to terms with what she was hearing versus what she was seeing. Before her was a figure so immense of light aether, how could Urianger words possibly be true? She knew Arsay's aether. Such brilliance was not something she'd readily forget. In fact, she'd go as far as to say it's image plagued her mind despite her best wishes along with equally inconvenient and unsavoury thoughts. Y'shtola had been awaiting the day Arsay's aether came into view once more for gods know how long. Yet he insists that this unknown figure before her is that very same person; that this was her Warrior of Light. As much as she did not want to accept it what other rational explanation could there even be?

Y'shtola stood aback, her harsh tone wavered as she stammered in disbelief. Again she scrutinized the strange light infused aether. Though she could discern that it vaguely held the form of a person any potential detail was obscured by an intense glow that radiated from it's core. She supposed perhaps she could picture her memory of Arsay slotting into the blurry silhouette... oh by the twelve. A chill runs down her spine. Y'shtola has never been one to panic, yet if this is truly Arsay before her then that can only mean terrible, terrible things.

With the initial shock worn off things begun to come back into focus for Arsay including Y'shtola who's gaze was fixated on her, clamouring for answers. As if on cue her voice returned to her. Despite this not being the reunion Arsay had imagined, out came the words she would have said regardless.

Not a hint of resentment carried through her tone. If anything, she sounded as if she was amused by the situation. As much as it hurt to think that the person Arsay considered to be her best friend had forgotten the appearance of her aether (something she understood as being unique to her); Arsay couldn't help but feel like she should have anticipated it. Sure, it had only been a month for Arsay, but it was three years for Y'shtola. That's quite some time to be apart. More than enough for Arsay to no longer be relevant enough to be recalled from time to time in Y'shtola's daily life. The irony of it stung. Arsay had only just begun to believe she wasn't as forgettable, as insignificant, to others as she feared... Funny how things turn out. She felt foolish to have overestimated the depth of their friendship. Guilty too for burdening someone she cared for with her own lofty expectations. Arsay only had herself to blame for this outcome. One would think she'd learn her lesson by now. What a laugh. Compelled by this joke only she was privy to, a short chuckle escaped from her lonesome smile.

The familiar voice rang through her ears and stirred her heart. There was no denying it. Her friend was finally here ...And Y'shtola welcomed her with an ambush. Delightful. She breathed out a heavy sigh. This was not at all how Y'shtola had wanted their meeting to go but she'd not let herself be vexed by such things. She pushed the tinge of dissatisfaction to the back of her mind. Arsay of all people would understand the things one must do to protect others. This greeting would be water under the bridge to her in but a tic. What mattered most is that the Night's Blessed were no longer under any (immediate) perceived threat. Her dear friend's aether on the other hand... Her head began to swirl with questions. Questions surely the Warrior of Darkness could soon help her attain the answers for. The thought alone brought it's own sense of relief. A smile tugged at the corners of Y'shtola's lips. There was no denying how happy it made her knowing her wait was over.

The tension in the air settled along the fur on Arsay's tail. She gave Y'shtola nod of acceptance, mindlessly forgiving her when in truth the apology felt hollow to Arsay. It wasn't at all what she wanted to hear but it wasn't as if hearing anything else from Y'shtola would help ease her nerves. It is what it is. At the very least, she was happy that Y'shtola looked to be in good health. Best focus on that for now.

Arsay and the rest followed Y'shtola from a distance quietly through the woods. Even through the canopy strong light polluted the forest floor. It gave Arsay a headache, much like everywhere else she had been to on the First. She often relied on her headband to block out the worst of the sun's rays back home but it did nothing to defend her light soaking eyes from the ambient brightness. She had been getting used to it but for some completely and totally unknown reason it began to feel worse.

Now and again Arsay would spot Y'shtola looking back over her shoulder towards her. Each glance had Arsay suddenly anticipating, hoping, that Y'shtola was about to call her over, and when that did not happen it made Arsay like a fool all over again. Foolish, and then frustrated. A degree of frustration that could be easily alleviated were she allowed to wander off and drive her knives into whatever foul beast first crossed her path. Alas, Arsay had to stay with the pack and sit with her growing bad mood she was not supposed to have. Her cheeks began to feel weary from the smile she kept plastered on her face.

Y'shtola guided the scions along the path to Slitherbough at a steady pace. Though she maintained a lead on them by no means was she walking fast enough that Arsay couldn't catch up should she want to do so. That's what Y'shtola had come to expect from Arsay; if the opportunity presented itself, Arsay would not hesitate to encroach on Y'shtola's personal space. It was a habit Y'shtola was not all that fond of initially- it was overwhelming for someone who more often kept to herself- but in due time Y'shtola found herself yearning for Arsay's touch. A terrible yearning which only grew stronger in its absence. Though she tried with all her might not to, Y'shtola would quickly glance back at the group only to be disappointed that the insufferably bright glow of aether was just as far from her as it way before. For Arsay to be so unlike herself... perhaps it was not only her aether which has been afflicted. The thought gave Y'shtola pause, the roots of worry began to sprout within her.

She also had to admit there was the slim chance that being held at weapon point and accused of being a sin eater had upset Arsay. But, It could have been worse. At least Y'shtola didn't frame her for regicide. Y'shtola's brow furrowed. There was no way Arsay could actually be mad at her. Y'shtola has given her colder shoulders than that in the past and Arsay had brushed it off without issue. It had to be something else.

Be it her worry for Arsay or due to her general dismay of the earlier happenings that she could not seem to shake, Y'shtola was no longer in the mood to let sleeping dogs lie and Thancred had made the unfortunate decision of opening his mouth. She'd not been a fan of how he had been conducting himself to say the least. Nor was she willing to let his inability to move on rob a young girl of her autonomy. Tongue as sharp as ever, Y'shtola made her opinion clear and sent the man running with his tail between his legs. Minfillia too sulked out not long after.

Arsay, bearing witness to this, felt just awful for Minifilla (as she called her). The smile she had held onto dropped the instant she heard the cave doors close. While Arsay is usually in favour of Y'shtola's tenancy to speak her mind so openly, all the aggravation that had been stewing inside her had now suddenly come to a boil. She had to lash out. She wanted to be mad at Y'shtola, for anything, because Arsay still felt deep down like it wasn't right to hold her responsible for the thing she was actually upset about.

"Really, Y'shtola? You had to bring that up just now?" Arsay crossed her arms, unimpressed. "You're the last I'd consider to come to Thancred's defence." Y'shtola's eyes narrowed, "I am not indifferent to Thancred's troubles. Nevertheless, I will not apologize for holding him to a higher standard after all these years. He has ever been a man of considerable resolve, and that is what I will continue to expect." "Then I best warn you: expectations only lead to future disappointment." The accusatory tone in Arsay's voice made Y'shtola tail twitch. "Excuse me? Arsay, what has come over you? You've not at all been yourself. Pray tell, have you felt any considerable changes since defeating the light-" "Perhaps, Y'shtola, you should be more concerned with how you have changed." Arsay cuts her off with a hiss.

Silence. You could the tension in the air with a knife. Arsay turns on her heels, "I-." she stops herself when she heard the crack in her voice. With a click of her tongue she flees out through the cave doors as fast as she could.

Urianger, who had been a fly on the wall for their heated back and forth, clears his throat. "Should thine wish be to give chase, thou can entrust in me the beginning duty of reviewing the tablet." Y'shtola let out a sigh. "I realize I am not as I was on the Source, but I cannot say I regret the decisions that allowed me to come this far." She proclaims largely for her own sake before turning to Urianger. "Allow me a moment to settle this. I shall return shortly."

All of that finally leads into this scene which actually the first time I ever tried to pose and write a story type scene. So excuse the slight jank of it (and the fact that Arsay's character voice has absolutely shifted some since then. Also ignore the fact that Arsay is wearing the darklight bracers in that old pose. It was taken at a point before I was using mods and I was still figuring out Arsay's shadowbringer glam- they were a hold over from previous expansion's glams)

the director commentary for their make up is Y'shtola finally accepts that Arsay is mad at her but is still defending her actions because it was the right call at the time. Again she tries to explain that Arsay's aether is fucked up in a way only to be cut off by Arsay airing out one of her deepest insecurities- her begging for validation. It's only then that Y'shtola realizes what exactly Arsay is upset over- and that her friend had absolutely 0 clue as to the light corrupting her aether. In a moment of absolute kindness from Y'shtola: instead of explaining then and there of Arsay's suspected light poisoning, she tells Arsay exactly what she wants and needs to hear. (And its this act of kindness that later becomes the catalys for Arsay realizing how much she loves Y'shtola upon learning about the light corruption and putting two and two together that Y'shtola was way nicer to her then she could have been in that moment.)

This is like maybe the 1st time Arsay has a public-ish breakdown and it really is "out of character" for her. But I cannot stress enough how much this shit triggered her and how bad she is at handling negative emotions. Like she really has a problem of not letting herself feel bad about anything and all that pent up stress gets funnelled directly into fighting. Its super cool and normal if you think about it and totally healthy if you ask her. When she cant channel that rage through her knives it escapes other, less productive ways. She did immediately felt awful about snapping at Y'shtola. Even if she wanted to be mad at her it wasn't right and Arsay knew this. Literally hearing that Y'shtola cared about her and thought of her was all she needed to put herself back into order. Y'shtola, still worried about Arsay's aether, was more than willing to move past this awful reunion of theirs and continue on just as they had been back before she was sent to the first.

And from there everything is pretty much normal! They made up, Arsay caught up to Minifillia and Runar, Y'shtola went to work on the tablet, story stuff happens, Arsay has her oh moment, they get together and so on.

Thank you so much @darkmadorz for giving me the excuse to write about this!

#arshtola #arsay nun lore #arsay nun #this is loooong lol #and while writing this I did encounter many praising posts for shb yshtola and i am also too always praising her #but listen #I do think she could have had just a little more tact when it came to calling thancred out on his bs #like i dont feel bad for him I feel bad for ryne who then felt like she needed to defend their relationship #because she too was incredibly insecure about it #I know Y'shtola just cares a lot and when she cares a lot she can sometimes put her foot in her mouth and thats a great character trait #i love her for it. trust.#but I also like the idea that Y'shtola was particularly snippy in that moment because she was already very worried about Arsay #and fucking up what could have been a sweet reunion for them both upset her more than she wanted it too #not that it was her fault for having the reaction to arsays aether #but it was just kinda a “oh shit goddammit” kinda upset #and Thancred's compliment sounded a little too smarmy for her liking #unintentionally being another thing Yshtola and Arsay have in common: lashing out a little too badly when stressed about something else #it was wild rewatching that cutscene where she chews thancred out cause that one i did not really ever revisit #they have Arsay smiling through the whole thing which is in character but definitely not a genuine smile from her #and yeah on literally any other occasion Arsay would have been like “ooo get'em girl”#but yeah she was just looking for a reason to be upset #also some of those cutscene shots are of my own making because the reaction shots from arsay didnt quite match the emotion I wanted #I did not proof any of this btw so sorry if it doesnt read that well

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nenoname · 9 months ago

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Journal 3's references to Stan

(...does the Lost Pages count as J3 when some had to be in J2 and also may or may not be a truth lie turducken? idk. Ford's TBoB letters sure as hell don't count as J3 but I'm including them here anyway)

Pre-Portal Ford

"Although my family tried to convince me that [having six fingers] made me special (and it did help with shadow puppets)"

"It would be quite interesting to see what my brother and mother would act like while wearing [the truth teeth]!"

"It occurs to me that if I must keep secrets from F, I might as well begin writing certain passages of this book in code. I aced Cryptology in college, so this will be fun! (At least for me. It would be deeply tedious and annoying for someone trying to decipher it.) It amuses me to think of their frustrating effort!" (ok this is likely for the reader and likely ain't a direct stan reference. but like. it is to me)

"When I sat down, [the fortune teller] quickly grabbed my hands and said, "What took you so long, Sixer?" I felt a chill run down my back. How she knew my childhood nickname was beyond me"

[Blacklight Hiding Places page] "Journal 3: The volume I hold in my hands. Describes my embarrassing defeat at the hands of Bill and the loss of my very sanity. Also contains a pretty good drawing of a plaidypus. Will soon be bestowed upon S and hidden at the ends of the Earth (I hope).” (he wrote the wrong journal to give to Stan lmao)

"The time has come to bury this tome. After that, all there is left to do is wait for S. And save the world. Or lose my life in the effort."

Post-Portal Ford

"Walking around my old lab, I feel like a dead man's ghost haunting a strange fun house mirror version of his past life, I resolve to take back my home and rebuild the life that Stanley has taken from me."

"The strangest thing about [Soos] is his utter idolization of my brother Stanley."

"[Mabel] Shares the family sweet tooth. Diet seems to consist solely of items with the word 'gummy' in them. I will need to discuss nutrition with Stanley."

[Dipper] "Observations: 1) Constantly sweating. Perhaps he takes after Stanley. (...) 4) Rank odor. Clearly hasn't bathed recently. Stanley should never be put in charge of children!"

"It is just as I feared; apparently, Stanley's reckless use of the machine overtaxed it and ripped a tear in the dimensional fabric- the same way an overheated oven might burn a hole in kitchen linoleum."

"Containment dome- A home for the Rift. Admittedly, I was inspired by the snow globes in Stanley's gift shop."

"When I tried to share my burdens with my brother, he knocked me into the portal, separating me from my home for 30 years."

"Stanley always mocked my love of [DD&MD], and even some of my college friends called it "Girlfriend Repellant.""

"Well, the harm in showing the [infinity sided die] to Dipper turned out to be quite large. During one of our games, my hotheaded brother got his hands on it and accidentally conjured this jerk."

"I'm proud to say that the Pines family was able to beat the wizard at his own game. Stan's contribution was (of course) to cheat our way to victory."

"Ironically, in the multiverse I'm just as wanted as Stanley! But my crimes had a noble purpose"

"Stan would have loved this place, but it just made me depressed. Although I had a good run in the Gambling Dimension, the dimensional bouncers ended up kicking me out for counting cards! What are the odds?"

"[The Oracle] looked deep into my eyes and said I had the face of the man who was destined to destroy Bill."

[A Better World] "On this Earth, I was never pushed into the portal by Stan. On this Earth, my brother listened to me and took Journal 1 away from Gravity Falls."

"I reentered the world of my youth to face a brother I had not seen in 30 years. My frustration was indescribable- once again, my brother's actions had sabotaged everything I had ever worked toward."

"To help Dipper understand, I borrowed Stanley's car, and we drove until we reached the town border of Gravity Falls."

"I suggested it would be a good time for Stan to take the kids on that road trip he's been talking about while I puzzle over [the cracked Rift]"

Post-Weirdmageddon

"I bristled at the idea of sharing my accomplishments with anyone. I shunned my brother for one dumb mistake, and I shunned Fiddleford for having the nerve to try to stop me from dooming the world."

"I just couldn't get over the idea of myself as the lone hero.. and it was Stanley who paid the price."

"Trust shouldn't be given unconditionally, but it should be given a chance to be earned. There is strength in having the humility to work with and sacrifice for others- a strength I now realize was in my brother all along."

"When Stanley and I were kids, we would often read tales of the Sibling Brothers- about two boys who dedicated their lives to exploring mysteries together. With a new anomaly to investigate, I've been thinking about those tales more and more lately."

"I had suggested to Dipper that because of all the misfortune caused by them, we burn [the Journals] in the last campfire of the summer. Mabel, Soos & Stan all seemed very excited by this notion."

"You hold a record of one man's folly and the kindness of a family that saved him from himself. It's never too late to learn that growing old doesn't have to mean growing up."

Lost Journal Pages

"My stomach sank a bit when I realized... it was my birthday. This day has felt... odd, since S and I... parted ways."

"DAMN! This morning I found F rummaging through my old copy of Urban Legends of New Jersey, where I had forgotten I had hidden some old personal items! I've quickly re-hidden them here, away from prying eyes."

"The snow has begun to fall again and there's very little time. There's only one left I can turn to to protect my journals while I prepare for the journey..."

Ford's Letters

"I emerged from my lab after days of agonized contemplation to find- to my shock- that Mabel was reading the book, out loud, to Stanley, Dipper, Soos, and Wendy!"

"They didn't see me as an irredeemable screwup. Stanley said, "So, your past is just a giant pile of mistakes? Congratulations- you really are a Pines!""

(It kinda strikes me that the BoB Lost Journal pages about Stan sound far more like post-portal Ford's opinions on Stan instead, where he's openly angry at both being pushed into the portal + at the portal being opened again + his murder suicide attempt being foiled + Stan disowning him + turning his house into a tourist trap + taking his identity vs pre-portal Ford being more... melodramatic(?) constantly being reminded of him but not wanting to linger too long? idk the vibes are different

Plus pre-portal Ford pretty consistently only calls Stan "S" or just refers to him as his brother (with the exception of him writing his name in a Caesar cipher) ...not to mention the perpetual motion machine comment says thirty instead of ten years)

Bonus:

[Journal 1 Mr What's His Face cipher] "If he gets my face, Stanley has a spare!"

#i think ford does slip up once about writing fiddleford's name tho #gravity falls #stanley pines #stan pines #ford pines #stanford pines #journal 3 #the book of bill #stan twins #'me and my brother' you mean 'my brother and i'!!! grammar ford!!!! you fool!!!#the dream hipster nightmare my beloved he was so close to confronting that guilt #the blacklight pages does mention the tinfoil hat thing and small world song parody which is in BoB too #the jersey devil story changing locations probably because its more fun for it to be set in town #instead all of it just having the same setting of a forest + the sibling bros being made into rivals #man we desperately need more post tbob ford cos rereading pre weirdmageddon ford is just depressing #and immediate post weirdmageddon ford still feels like he's finding his footing #i want more of the stan twins teaming up to be assholes to others ksadhksjdhsa that joke to dipper was mean i love that for them #ford: these journals are haunting me like a curse!#bill about to hit him with a book that actually haunts him in a few weeks:#also not me only just realising that ford's 'growing old doesn't mean you have to grow up' line is what stan says in D&MVTW #stan and bill both having 'growing up is optional' lines im chewing on the dry wall #i have been wrestling with the 30 image post limit this whole time....

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