#i need to wash blankets and dog beds

[satans-knitwear]

Fuck offfffffff I have 4 sets of bedsheets to wash and dry, not to mention what appears to be every bath towel ever.

[toytulini]

i have got to go to bed i have got to get stuff done

[hailthedragonmaster]

put baking soda on my mattress and put on the fitted sheet and put blankets thru the wash so now i am cozy AND it smells fine. yay <3

[emotionoitme]

trouble

trouble - coldplay

part 3 of don’t call my name

warnings: angst, hurt + arguing but it’s steamy, drinking and clubbing, some violence (she gets grabbed and threatened but nothing happens), guard dog carmy bark bark, carmy throws hands & brief mention of blood. comfort sex, sappy and sweet but hot, it’s unprotected what else did you expect from me, dirty talk, some drama with claire i’m sorry 

wc: 9.0k

a/n: so…i told everyone this was going to be 3 parts when it actually needs 4. i fear i am just too much of a yapper. i love these two and think i needed to do the story justice. so stay tuned for ch4. hehehehe. hope u enjoy!!! (it is going to get angsty) 

playlist

carmen berzatto is a shitty communicator. 

this we know to be a fact. 

it’s just, sometimes when there are a thousand thoughts swarming around his head, it’s easier to not say anything at all. that makes sense, right? 

the girl wakes up the next morning to find herself alone. the plush king sized bed almost mocks her with emptiness.

she knows that carmy is a hard worker. a michelin star kitchen doesn’t just run itself. still, it might be nice to get a note, or text, or anything that would reassure her last night wasn’t just some fluke to to him. 

the silence of the apartment is almost deafening. she trudges down the stairs and walks to the kitchen, pouring herself what was left in the coffee pot from carmy’s early morning. 

she feels lethargic, sore, and a little stung from waking up alone. no text or anything, she thinks. 

but there was still time. maybe he was just really busy today. she pushes away the negative thoughts and slaps both of her cheeks lightly, trying to wake herself up. it would be a good day. he would text her or call her when he got a break. and they would talk about it. she puts a smile on her face at the delusion and hops back up the stairs to get dressed for work. 

the girl tries to busy herself when she gets there, picking up extra slack from coworkers and bustling around to finish projects. trying to not check her phone. 

she goes on lunch break with no text from him. 

gets off work at 5 with no text from him. 

throws his sheets in the wash and remakes his bed with no text from him. 

eats dinner with no text from him. 

watches a movie at 9:30 with, you guessed it. 

she throws her phone back onto the bed angrily, the false wall of positivity built in her mind beginning to crumble. she’s tired and annoyed, so she shuts off the movie and buries herself in bed, trying to push thoughts of him out of mind so she could sleep. 

she tells herself that they can talk tomorrow. but then, tomorrow comes and it’s the same nothing, almost like she didn’t even have a roommate. 

three silent days go by until the girl decides she’s had enough, and plans to wait up for him and have a talk. maybe he just wasn’t a texting type of guy, she tries to comfort herself. 

she grabs her book and a throw blanket and camps out on the couch, waiting for him to get home. 

it’s close to midnight before she hears keys jingling and the lock turning. her heart drops inexplicably but she remains nonchalant and continues reading her book until she hears him take a few steps inside. 

she turns her head, watching him talk on the phone as he slides his shoes off. he doesn’t notice her in the dim light of the living room, and his brows are furrowed, hand running through his messy curls. 

“yeah. yeah, i’m- i know….sorry again,” a pause, “okay. i’ll see you saturday. bye, claire.” 

her eyebrows shoot up at the name, the sinking feeling with in her stomach increasing tenfold. this motherfucker. 

carmen makes it halfway into the living room before he notices her on the couch, slightly startling at her presence, mumbling a “shit”

her face feels hot, but not in the good way she had grown accustomed to the past few weeks. 

“hey,” he greets softly, eyes looking tired, shoulders slumped. 

she just glares at him and goes back to reading her book. 

he says her name. she ignores him.

the man lets out a small scoff, stepping closer to the couch, hand on his hip. 

“what, you, uh, ignoring me?” 

she glances up at him and there’s a small smirk on his face, like he thinks it’s joke or something. 

she opens her mouth to say something mean, but stops herself. takes a deep breath. recenters. 

she slams her book shut and turns to face him. 

“i’m going to bed.” 

the man’s small smirk drops, watching as she shoots up from the couch and starts heading towards the stairs. he grabs her wrist to stop her. 

“hey,” he says, firmer this time. 

she whips around and pulls her arm back. 

“what?” she snaps. 

his brows furrow at her tone of voice. he pauses for a second, eyes raking down her face, taking in her expression. 

“why are you acting like that?” he asks. 

the question does nothing but make her feel angrier. 

“because you’re being fucking confusing,” the girl exclaims, her throat growing tight.

“how am i confusing?” carmen replies with a surge of annoyance, “you woke me up the other night with…” his eyes dart down her frame, “half your fuckin’ clothes on.” he tries to sound angry, but his voice betrays him a bit. truthfully, it was like his prayers had come true when he opened his eyes to find her straddling him in underwear and a tiny little top that barely kept her chest contained. 

“yeah cause i thought you were into me,” she frustratedly sighs, “but you’re just…using me to get over claire.” 

the allegation wasn’t rooted in fact. but that’s how the girl felt, and she confuses the two in the moment. 

“don’t say that.” he snaps, “that’s not fuckin’ true in the slightest.” carmen had been done with claire for months at this point. if anything, he had been trying to use claire to get over his roommate.

“it’s been three days since we-… and you haven’t said anything,” she sighs, rubbing her forehead, feeling a headache come on. 

he knows his, and feels guiltier than she could even imagine. but he also knows she’s leaving in a few short weeks, and doesn’t want to fall any deeper than he already has for her. 

“i got busy at work.” he defends. it’s a shitty excuse, but as usual, it’s the first to come to mind. 

her eyes brows crease further. 

“you have a phone.” she chides.

“i just…i didn’t think about it,” he lies, “i’m sorry.”

she scoffs and shakes her head. 

“god, you’re so-,” another sigh, “you know, whatever, carm.” she turns from him and begins to walk up the stairs. 

he hates how his eyes glance down to her ass, peaking out from beneath a pair of short shorts. 

god he’s a fucking loser, he tells himself. 

carmy calls her name again. she ignores him. 

-

the girl slams her bedroom door behind her and throws herself onto her bed. she tries to fight the hot, angry tears that stream down her face, telling herself it doesn’t really bother her. telling herself that he’s just another stupid guy, and she can find better. this does nothing to ease the burning feeling in her chest, though, a pair of soft blue eyes flashing in her mind. thinking of the way he was rough with her while still being gentle, kissing her face and calling her sweet names. thinking of how he held her and wiped her tears and assured her that things would work out. 

fucking asshole! 

she grabs her duvet and pulls it over her head, wrapping herself tightly and burrowing into the pillow. she tells herself that she won’t make the mistake of giving into him again. wouldn’t ever grace him with her lips or fingers or sweet moans again. 

she tells herself that she doesn’t need him. she could easily find someone else that would satisfy that same feral craving she had for carmen. 

in fact, tomorrow would be friday, and she hadn’t gone out in a long time. she decides on calling up a friend and making a friday night plan to go out. drink, dance, and prove to herself that there’s better for her out there than carmy. 

the girl aggressively rubs her face of tears and shoots up out of bed, grabbing her phone to send the invitation to a girlfriend. her phone pings with a quick response, and the girl confirms her plan for the following night, already envisioning what to wear. the thought of seeing carmy tomorrow night before she goes out makes her stomach churn. the thought of seeing him at all makes it churn, actually. 

she tells herself that she only has to stick it out for another month or so. then she would go back to california and things would be normal. no more stupid boys. no more heated touches. no more whimpers being greedily devoured by hungry kisses. 

she tells herself that’s what she wants. 

it doesn’t feel genuine in the slightest. 

the following morning she rummages through her closet and picks out a couple of skimpy options. she studies herself in the mirror, holding up the various items up in front of her nude body, wondering what carmy would think of the outfits. she quickly tries to push the thought out of mind. she doesn’t care what he thinks, she reminds herself. her eyes fixate on the finger-shaped bruises scattered about her hips. she thinks of how they got there. 

her day at work seems to go impossibly slow. the girl finds herself thinking of carmen constantly, caught between hoping there would be a text from him when she would check her phone and hoping she would never hear from him again. 

her mind frequently flashes to the way he handled her a few nights ago. how he kissed her obsessively. how he held her up once her legs had given out. how he relentlessly plowed into her and called her a pretty girl and told her she was made for him. 

the thought simultaneously makes her horny and angry, something that she had never experienced so vividly until now. she wanted to slap his face, but at the same time she wanted to kiss him and grind against him and beg for him again. 

it’s entirely confusing. 

by the time 10 o clock rolls around, she begins to get ready, meticulously styling her hair and applying her makeup. she opts for a sultry, smokey look, accentuating her eyes with dark shadow and liner, glossing her pouty lips with a clear lacquer. the girl tries to hurry the routine, anxious to make it out the door before carmen gets back. 

she strips her clothes off and slips into her club apparel, then decorates her look with rings, bracelets, earrings, and a necklace. as she slides her thigh high boots on, she hears the front door open, then slam closed.

“fuck,” she harshly exhales. looks like she would have to see him after all. 

carmy racks his keys onto the hook and steps out of his shoes, taking a deep breath at the relief of being home. it’s not until he notices the light coming from upstairs that the relief is replaced with a sense of anxiety. 

he knows he needs to fix things between him and his roommate, if he could even refer to her as just that anymore. he had felt like a jackass all week, but apologies were never really his strong suit. he didn’t even know where to start. 

the man empties his pockets out onto the credenza, then begins to make his way into the living room. he stops in his tracks when he hears the click of heels descending the stairs. 

as he turns his head and catches sight of her, he fights to stifle a groan. 

she comes down clad in a tight top and mini skirt, length of her legs emphasized by black thigh high boots. his eyes rake down her body, admiring the curve of her figure and the appealing fit of the clothes. he wishes that she would dress like that all the time, but he doesn’t tell her that, instead just opting for a casual, albeit slightly strained “hey.”

she looks at him, but doesn’t reply, instead sauntering over to their bar cart and pouring herself a shot. he realizes the top is backless, and clenches his jaw a bit, trying to recenter with a deep breath. 

“you, uh…you look nice,” he clears his throat. 

she throws back the shot and shivers. 

“thanks,” her response comes dryly, walking over to grab her purse, “i’ll be back in a few hours.”

carmen feels his brain stutter, processing what she said, his eyebrows furrowing. 

“wait you, uh, you’re going out dressed like that?” he can’t help but feel a bit protective, even if she is pissed off at him. the girl scoffs. 

“i can’t really go to the club in sweatpants, carm.” 

he rubs a hand over his face, trying to keep calm. 

“you could, uh….at least put a fuckin’ jacket on or something though?” he tries to suggest kindly. his tone betrays him. 

“yeah?” she turns towards him, “why the fuck do you care?” bite in her tone. 

his eyes fall over the multiple hickeys that litter her neck, then flicker over her face, realizing how striking her features look accentuated by dark makeup. she looks angry. a little hurt. he wants to say something soothing. 

“cause i-fuck,” hand threading through his hair messily, “because i know how guys think.” 

nice. real soothing. 

“yeah? n’what do they think?” she challenges. 

that anyone would want you. that you look fucking hot wearing those tight little clothes.

carmy opts to not respond so directly, and walks closer to her. 

“i just don’t want you to get… hurt.” his tone is firm, jaw set tightly. she lets out a sardonic laugh at this. at the fact that he’s her biggest source of hurt at the moment.

“what, you think it’s funny?” he barks, “you could get fuckin’…picked up or drugged or something.” 

she rolls her eyes. 

“that’s not gonna happen. i’m going with a friend.” she snatches her purse off the credenza, fumbling through it to make sure she has her id. he takes a few steps closer. until he can smell her sweet perfume. 

“well, let me drive you guys then.” 

she shakes her head. 

“no. we’re getting a cab.” zipping up her purse and hanging it over her shoulder. 

“fuck, then call me when you get there. and when you’re leaving.” he snaps a bit, becoming a bit fed up with her attitude. 

“not gonna fuckin’ call you, carmy,” her face scrunches up in anger, “i’ll probably end up going home with someone, anyways,” she fibs, locking eyes with him, unintentionally leaning in a bit. 

“you what?” he angers, moving even closer to her, their faces mere inches apart. 

she can feel the shot she took now, eyes darting down to his lips. fuck his deodorant. the smell of it makes her want to give in.

“‘mgonna find someone tonight,” her tone lower now, lids low, “‘n they’re gonna fuck me better than you ever will.” 

he scoffs, blood boiling at her words, shaking his head, eyebrow twitching. 

“yeah, uh, that’s not gonna fuckin’ happen.” his hand comes to wrap around her hip, squeezing. his face comes closer, lips nearly ghosting hers.

“yeah?” she challenges, actively fighting to keep from diving in, eyes locked on his lips.

“yeah,” tone firm, “tell your friend you’re staying in tonight.” 

she doesn’t know why she feels so turned on. still pissed off, yes, but mostly aroused. 

she rolls her eyes and lets out a laugh to hide this, but he can tell. he can always tell by the slight flutter of her eyelids and the way she’ll part her lips. he knows that she likes when he talks to her like that. 

the girl channels all of her strength and steps away from him, opening the front door. 

“see you tomorrow,” she chimes, walking out. he calls her name as she walks away, but she ignores him. he tells himself he’s too proud to chase after her, but really he wants to do nothing more. 

as she makes her way down the hall, his eyes rake down her exposed back, settling on her shapely ass. 

this girl was going to drive him fucking crazy. 

-

carmy berzatto (2hrs): you make it there? 

missed call from carmy berzatto (1hr)

carmy berzatto (30min): call me if you need a ride home. 

the girl shuts off her phone, shoving it back in her purse and strutting to the bar counter. sure, now he cared enough to send a text. 

jealous motherfucker. 

it had been a girls night out until her friend went home with an ex boyfriend, leaving her all alone at the club. she leans over the counter, pushing her hair over her shoulder. her feet are sore from the boots she had picked out, coupled with an hour or so of nonstop dancing. 

the girl had planned to leave as soon as her friend did, but made the mistake of passing through the main room where they were playing 2000s music. she couldn’t just not dance to 2000s. 

the bartender works quickly to accommodate the numerous orders. she feels the drink she had been sipping on affecting her, comfortably bathing in the multicolored lights of the club. it was packed with people, and she had been noticing eyes on her all night. 

the girl feels a hand on her lower back, and she turns to meet the eyes of a tall man.

“hi,” he says.

“hey,” she softly replies.

he was admittedly handsome, and his muscular stature didn’t hurt to look at either. 

“can i buy you a drink?” the man asks. 

the girl softly smiles and nods. he raises his hand to flag the bartender. she was planning on getting a water, but since she wasn’t paying for it…

the stranger makes small talk with her, the two having to practically yell into each other’s ear to hear over the bass of the music. jobs, what part of town they live, compliments. not that she really cares about any of it, though she tries to. 

as he leans in to ask if she’ll dance with him, he places his hand on her waist. she tries to ignore how it doesn’t feel right. 

he’s cute, she tells herself, and i needs to stop thinking about carmy. 

the girl takes a long sip of her drink and nods softly, taking his hand and leading him to the dance floor. they squeeze through the crowd of bodies, and she turns to face him, hand on his chest. he places a hand on her lower back, and they begin to move to the beat. she takes another long sip of her drink, closing her eyes, coming closer to the man, swaying her hips. his deodorant doesn’t smell as good as carmen’s does. doesn’t comfort her like his does. 

she takes another sip, and she circles around, moving her hips, facing away from the man. the music resonates through the whole building, lights flash and change color, making her movements feel dreamlike. he places his hands on her hips. 

she wishes that she liked how it felt. 

the man presses his hips into her backside. she imagines it’s carmen, and the thought makes her bite down onto her lip. her head falls back against his chest. she thinks of her roommate’s strong arms. his tattoos. the way his face scrunched up when he fully engulfed himself in her. the girl lets out a breath. her skin feels hot and sticky in the muggy club air. she takes another long sip of alcohol, feeling lips on her neck. they feel strange and unfamiliar. it doesn’t set off that tingling sensation in her lower stomach. she groans out of frustration. 

“mmm you like that don’t you, pretty girl?” the man slurs into her ear. 

the name makes her heart drop, and all of the sudden she feels like she needs to throw up. she shoves the stranger’s hands away and stumbles forward, pushing her way out of the crowd. the floor feels like it’s tilting on an axis as she cringes at the feeling of other sweaty bodies touching her. she gets shoved into by a big group and loses her drink. 

it’s suddenly hard to breathe. the girl feels her throat tighten, her chest burning, wiping hot tears away. she fights and pushes and weaves through the crowd until she finally breaks free, making a beeline for the glowing red exit sign. the girl shoves the door open, almost tripping over the frame, and stumbles out into the cold night. 

the frigid air helps alleviate some of her nausea, skin rising in goosebumps. she trudges along the brick wall and leans her back against it, focusing on taking deep breaths. her hands run through her messy hair, pushing it out of her face, closing her eyes, trying to stop the steady flow of tears. 

this night was supposed to be fun, but all she wanted to do was go home and sleep this booze off. all she wanted was carmen. 

her hands fumble through her purse, grabbing her phone. she drops it, muttering a “shit,” and crouches down to pick it up. she squints her eyes at the light of the display, struggling to navigate to the uber app. she enters her address, cursing internally when she sees the friday night surge prices. instead, she exits uber and finds her contacts, hovering over the number of a cab company. her eyes glance towards carmen's contact, right below. 

she doesn’t want to call him. he was being an asshole, and she hates how easily he was able to get under her skin. so she dials the contact for the cab, listening to the line ring. and ring. and ring. almost infinitely, then a automated voice of “your call cannot be completed.” 

“fuck,” she curses, terminating the call. 

her eyes fixate on his name, pausing and contemplating. 

she rolls her eyes and dials it. the line rings twice and gets picked up with a raspy greeting and a “y’okay?” 

she stays silent for a second, not sure what to say. he says her name. 

“did you know that you are-” she hiccups, “s-so mean?” it’s the only thing that comes to mind. 

“are you drunk?” he asks.

“no. m’not” she argues, wiping a stray tear. 

“you sound drunk,” he retorts, “where are you? i’m coming to get you.” 

“you’re so fucking…rude. ‘nyou think you can just do whatever you want because you’re so-” hiccup, “hot… and big…you irritate me, carm,” she slurs into the line. she opens her mouth to say more, but he cuts her off by saying her name sternly. 

“you at prysm? tunnel?” 

“yeah. that one.” she hiccups again. 

“tunnel? okay, stay right there. i’m getting in my car now.” 

“ok but i’m still mad at you,” she murmurs, leaning against the cool brick. he scoffs, and starts saying something about her bad attitude, but she cuts him off by hanging up, harshly exhaling and closing her eyes tightly. the tears continue falling, so she just tries to focus on her breathing. 

a cool breeze causes her to stiffen, wrapping her arms around herself, shivering. it’s uncomfortable, but grounding. her head stops spinning so much as she begins to breathe deeply. the tears come to a steady stop, but the aching in her chest doesn’t. she wishes carmen would hold her and kiss her head. 

around fifteen minutes pass before she hears the back door of the club open. the girl keeps her eyes shut, hoping whoever it was wouldn’t bother her. though it seems she’s not so lucky tonight, unfortunately. 

“hey, you,” a deep voice says. she snaps her eyes open to find the same tall man she was dancing with earlier standing in front of her. 

she just stares at him silently, crossing her arms in front of her to help provide some modesty. 

“listen, i think we get along well. and you’re really hot,” he explains drunkenly, “why don’t i help you get home?” 

she feels icked out, trying to refrain from rolling her eyes.

“m’not interested, sorry. i have someone coming to pick me up.” 

the man scoffs. 

“you were plenty interested earlier when i bought you a drink,” taking a step closer to her, “c’mon. don’t be a tease.” he has a smirk on his face. she feels her heart begin to pound against her chest. 

carmy was right, it was a mistake to come out. she tries to take a step away from him, blocked by the hard brick wall. 

“seriously, i’m not interested,” she tries to sound assertive, “my boyfriend will be here any second so just leave me alone.” she hopes he can’t read through her lie. 

“your boyfriend?” he asks, smirk turning into a grin, “you’re a naughty girl, aren’t you? someone should fucking straighten you out.”

her heart drops to her stomach, and she feels sick all over again. she steps forward to shove past him, and he grabs her waist, slamming her back into the wall. 

“don’t fucking touch me!” she yells, grabbing his wrists and digging her nails in. he doesn’t let go. tears begin to stream down her face, heart hammering against her ribcage. she sees headlights from down the street and prays that it’s carmen, continuing to struggle against the man. 

the car speeds up to the curb and jerks to a stop, door flying open. she shuts her eyes tightly and digs her nails in hard enough to draw blood, giving a final attempt at trying to get his hands off of her. 

the girl is suddenly released as the man is jerked backwards by his shoulder. her eyes snap open and graciously land on the person she’s been wanting to see the most. 

everything happens so fast—watching in a haze as carmen practically decks the guy in the face, sending the stranger stumbling back, gripping a bloody nose. 

“you muverfuckr!” he slurs, words muffled by a dripping hand, lunging forward again. carmy shuffles back, then throws another jab square in the face. the man falls backwards onto the ground, sitting on the concrete, looking entirely disoriented. the girl gasps, feeling partially sobered by the scene. 

she watches as the stranger’s blood drips onto the pavement, then darts her gaze over to carmen. his eyes look crazed, jaw tightly locked. he begins to stalk towards the man, clenching his fists that were spotted with red. 

the girl reaches out and grabs his arm. he turns to look at her and his features immediately soften, taking in her tear-soaked cheeks and swollen lips. without thinking, he grabs her arm and pulls her into a tight embrace, arms wrapping around her in a protective bear hug. she clings to his shirt, and cries. he kisses the top of her head. 

he smells so good. smells so safe. 

“s’okay. i got you,” he soothes, “you’re okay.” the man says this as a reassurance to himself as well, rubbing her back, feeling his throat tighten and eyes water a bit. 

the stranger lay flat on his back now, clutching his bleeding nose, mumbling incoherently. 

carmen pulls back from the embrace, but keeps an arm wrapped tightly around her, ushering her to the car. she stumbles a bit, holding onto him securely. she wishes the tears would stop, but they don’t. she feels so scared. so relieved. so fucking grateful. 

he gets her into the car, shutting the door and walking around to the driver’s side. she doesn’t want to look at him when he gets in, so she hides her face in her hand, elbow leaning on the arm rest. he doesn’t say anything for the duration of the drive home either. 

she feels embarrassed, tired, and still a little mad at carmy. the whole reason she had wanted to go out and meet guys in the first place was because of his stupid situationship with claire. it was like it made her go into defense mode. 

they had been driving for about 5 minutes, before she feels a dull throbbing in her head, stomach growling, alcohol in her system making her crave greasy nasty salty food. 

she raises her head from her hand, looking at carmen. his eyebrows were knit together tightly, jaw clenched. she leans her head against the headrest as she stares at him lovingly. she loves how protective he gets over her. how strong he is. how blindingly handsome. 

but she’s still mad, of course. 

he catches her gazing at him in his periphery. he looks over, features softening as he catches her eyes momentarily.

“what’s up?” he asks, voice low.

she just looks at him. her lip pouts a bit. 

“you hungry?” comes his question, perfectly timed. 

she allows a soft smile to grace her lips at the accuracy of his guess. 

“mmhm,” she nods, “a burger sounds really good right now. and french fries.” 

he lets out a quiet chuckle, nodding his head, glancing at her again. 

“let’s get you a burger and french fries, then.” 

he turns his signal on and moves to make a quick left, pulling into a drive-thru after a few minutes.

they sit in line waiting for the order to be cooked. she glances over at his face. she wants to kiss him, a little. 

“d’yknow what the ultimate hangover food is?” she asks softly. 

he turns to face her, eyebrows raised in question, a look of amusement on his face. 

“an all american breakfast,” she murmurs with a smile.

“yeah?” he asks, “like…pancakes?”

she nods, biting her lip with a smile. he lets out a soft laugh at this.

“and bacon and eggs. and hash browns. fuck,” her eyes are closed, like she’s imagining it in front of her. this makes the man laugh a bit harder, hand coming to smooth over his face. 

“good answer,” he tells her once he stops smiling as much. 

“what’s yours?” she asks, gazing at him a bit longingly. 

“my what?” 

“your hangover cure food.”

“uh, probably…saltines?”. 

the girl lets out a laugh. 

“the alcohol upsets my stomach,” he admits. 

she laughs harder, burying her face in her hands. 

“you are so cute,” she amuses. 

he fights the heat that rushes to his face when she says this, and they pull forward to the pick up window. 

the girl takes her first bite into the greasy burger that carmen insists on paying for, and it makes her feel more human than she has all night. 

-

carmy parks the car in his assigned lot, then gets out to assist his roommate out of the car. the food helped her feel much more grounded, but she still has to cling onto his arm to be able to walk straight through the building. 

neither of them say anything. this lasts until they get back to their unit, and carmy locks the door behind them. he watches as the girl stumbles out of her shoes and crashes onto the couch. she throws an arm over her eyes and tries to push away the nausea that comes with laying down. 

“thank you,” she murmurs into her arm after a moment.

“mhm,” he responds, “told you to call me when you needed a ride, though,” shrugging off his jacket.

“i did,” she argues.

“no, you called me… way after you needed one. and you stood outside waiting for me,” his tone grows harsher.

if she wasn’t so nauseous, she’d roll her eyes. 

“i was trying to get away from all the guys that were trying to take me home,” she retorts. she means it to be teasing, but it’s clear he doesn’t take it that way by the peak she steals through her arms. 

“y’know, you-,” he scoffs, “i’m glad you think it’s fuckin’ funny because i-fuck…i was worried about you” he throws his keys onto the table, feeling angry, feeling scared. 

she throws her other arm over her face. her cheeks are hot with embarrassment. her throat suddenly feels tight at his words, like she’s going to cry again. she doesn’t say anything out of fear of her voice breaking. 

carmy chides her name, stalking over to the couch. he stands over her, expectantly waiting for a response, jaw clenching with annoyance. he nudges her arm. she moves it, revealing her tired bloodshot eyes. 

“can we not do this tonight?” she begs hoarsely, “m’so drunk.” 

“you fucking scared me,” he exclaims, grabbing his hair, “what would’ve happened if i didn’t get there in time, huh?” 

“i know,” she sobs, tears now freely flowing, hiding her face in her arms again. 

his heart breaks a bit, watching her cry like that. but he feels so angry that she put herself at risk like that. 

“you-” he stops. takes a deep breath to recenter. “you’re right. let’s not do this tonight.” 

she peaks at him through her arms, feeling completely pathetic. she watches him turn on the small lamp by the couch. he drapes a throw blanket over her before turning to walk upstairs. 

tears continue inexplicably trailing down her cheeks, as her deep breathing begins to lul her into sleep. 

an hour passes. 

she shifts to try and get comfy to no avail. 

30 more minutes. 

everything was so uncomfortable. 

she sits up quickly and shoots off the couch, beelining for the stairs, desperate to get the crunchy makeup and scratchy clothes off. 

she falls up the stairs in her sleepy scramble, knocking against the wall loudly. slowly stands up, holds onto the rail, and exhales before continuing to ascend much more carefully. 

as she walks down the hallway, she unashamedly begins to strip out of her clothing, leaving a trail that leads to the bathroom, telling herself she would take care of it later. she feels sick and lethargic, needing a shower immediately. 

the girl leaves the bathroom light off as she draws a cold shower and steps in right away, drenching herself in the frigid water. she tenses, letting out a sharp exhale, feeling almost immediately soothed. 

it’s as if the water washes away everything bad from the night. she meditatively goes through her routine, cleaning herself. cleaning away everything that happened tonight. cleaning away the man who touched her on the dancefloor, outside of the club. 

the shame and embarrassment that begins to seep in as the alcohol wears off doesn’t wash away as easily. she needs to apologize, she knows that.

the girl dries herself off and wraps her hair in a towel as she walks back to her room, feeling more of a pep in her step following the refreshing shower. she bends down to pick up the strung out clothing she left behind, feeling like she was going crazy because her underwear was nowhere to be found. it would just have to wait until tomorrow, she supposes. 

she’s moisturized and laying in bed, trying to fall asleep. tossing and turning. taking a deep breath. softening her face, muscles. thinking of nice things.

drifting off. mind flashing back to the man grabbing her and slamming her against the brick wall. thinking of what would’ve happened had carmy not come to her rescue. 

her eyes snap open. she sharply inhales and sits up, hanging her legs over the side of the bed. it was going to be impossible to get sleep like this, heart beating way too fast to try and relax. 

she just wants to feel safe. 

without a second thought, she stands and begins walking to carmy’s room. 

she knows he’s pissed off at her. knows he’ll probably tell her to get out. even so, she’s so desperate to get some sleep. so desperate to ease the anxiety that had been festering inside of her all night. 

his door is closed, and she hesitates for a moment before twisting the knob and slipping inside. 

it’s dark—the curtains drawn when they usually aren’t. he lay shirtless on his side, facing away from the door, clutching a pillow in his arms. 

the girl peels back his sheets and slowly slips into bed, resting her head on the soft pillow. she stays there for a moment before scooting closer and laying her face against his back. he’s so warm, and his skin smells safe. her eyes fall shut. she feels him shift. 

carmen wakes up unexpectedly to the feeling of warmth behind him. he knows it’s her without having to look. when she had noisily stumbled upstairs and into the shower, he went to go check on her—almost knocked on the bathroom door, but refrained once he heard soft cries from within. 

he feels her face nuzzle into his back, and he reaches his arm back behind him, wanting to feel where she lay. he touches her hip.

“hi,” she greets softly. 

“hey,” he returns, voice raspy, “y’can’t sleep?” 

she scoots closer to him, hand splaying over his back. 

“just a little… freaked out still…” she whispers. her tone wobbles. 

he shifts at this, and turns around to face her silently. in the low light she can make out the worried furrow of his brows.

she feels guilty for being the subject of his worry. 

“i’m sorry,” the girl confesses, biting back tears. 

carmen’s brows crease further at her apology, immediately wrapping an arm around her and pulling her into his chest. she tucks her face into his neck, shutting her eyes tightly, smelling his skin. 

“y’got nothing to be sorry for,” he plants a kiss atop her head, “wasn’t your fault.” 

“it was my fault,” her voice breaks, “should’ve listened to you,” her arms come around his neck, and she presses her body flush with his. 

“it wasn’t,” he asserts, “that guy was a fuckin’ creep.” his tone is hushed. his arms wrap around her as if he’s scared of losing her. 

“are you still mad at me?” she asks. her breath tickles his neck. 

“i wasn’t mad,” he admits, “just scared.” 

“me too,” matching his hushed tone. “thank you carm,” she whispers, pressing a kiss below his ear, “feel so safe with you.” she shuffles closer, pelvis pressing against his. 

“you are,” he buries his nose in her hair, “always.” hiking her leg over his hip to bring her closer. 

the girl kisses his neck again. and again. pulls him in closer. his smell is completely addicting, and with the angle of her leg she can feel his erection growing against her core. she hopes he can’t feel the wetness that begins to form beneath her shorts. 

his big palm spreads over her ass and squeezes, desperate to hold every inch of her. 

the girl deeply exhales, bothered by how easily he’s able to rouse her. 

the man harshly exhales at the repeated feeling of her bites and licks and kisses, holding onto her with an urgent desperation. trying to wrap around her as if he were keeping her from the world. 

the room becomes hot, and the two shuffle the duvet off. 

carmen calls her name, trying to break her attention. he wants to apologize. wants to confess his shortcomings. wants to look in her big eyes and tell her he’s not enough and never will be. but she ignores his beckon and continues enthusiastically biting and sucking and kissing, hand pressing against his chest. 

he forces his eyes to stay open, weight of his bottled apology heavy on his tongue. 

“hey,” he tries again, voice strained from the pleasure.

“can you put it in?” she breathes into his neck.

“fuck,” he groans, surprised by her forward request, feeling himself pulse against her wetness. 

“please,” she whines, hiking her leg further up onto his hip, trailing her kisses along his jaw, up to his cheek.

he squeezes her ass again, fingers slipping under the fabric of her tiny shorts. her skin was so soft. so hot with arousal. 

“let me play with you,” he strains, “get you ready f’me.”

the girl makes a sound of protest, kissing his face more, hand coming to his neck. 

“m’ready,” she whispers earnestly “wanna feel you so bad,” another kiss, “please, carm.”

he lets out a strained breath and removes his hand from her ass, shoving his boxers down just enough to free his erection. she moves her thigh higher up his hip, and carmen slips his fingers beneath the fabric covering her core, hastily pulling it to the side.

“yeah,” she exhales desperately, edge of her lips touching his, trying to watch him press his cock into her opening. 

carmen pushes forward, sinking into her tightness. he lets out a groan at the way her wet heat engulfs him. the girl releases a sound of appreciation, her nails indenting the skin of his shoulder. 

he takes a deep breath and begins slowly rocking his hips, turning his face to catch her lips in a hungry kiss. he greedily swallows her sweet noises, catching the edge of her shirt and bunching it up over her chest, exposing her breasts.

“please,” she breaks the kiss to plead, not really even knowing what she was asking for. 

“i know, baby” he groans in between kisses, “gonna take care of you.” rolling his hips, hiking her leg further up his hip to bury himself to the hilt. 

she wants to cry at how good it feels, eyes scrunched shut and mouth falling open in pleasure, releasing her first breathy moan. 

carmy swears he could cum at the sound of it, hand grabbing her ass again, pulling her impossibly closer. his forehead comes to hers and he begins slowly thrusting into her, completely drunk off of her. her smell, her wetness, her whimpers. 

“y’so fuckin’ cute,” he growls, “can’t get enough of you.” his admission sends a fluttering sensation throughout her chest, arching further into his touch, beginning to hungrily rock her hips to try and match his thrusts. 

the man grabs her hip, holding her still. 

“slow down,” he commands softly, catching her lips in a deep kiss, continuing to gently thrust into her. 

she complies, savoring the sweet, lazy rocking motion as he holds her tightly. it feels far more intimate than what she’s ever experienced with him, even though the two weren’t even fully naked. it was needy and frenetic, yet slow and gentle. 

carmen buries himself deeper, beginning to thrust up into her at an angle. he kisses her with frenzy, tongue swirling around hers, swallowing each and every noise she makes. the room grows incredibly hot, their skin sticky, each trying to apologize to the other using their bodies. 

carmy snaps his hips forward, and the girl releases from his lips with a loud cry. her nails dig into his shoulder. it’s so good she feels like crying again. 

“y’such a pretty fuckin’ girl,” he growls, “love how you feel, y’know that?” 

her droopy eyes meet his. she loves the way it sounds from his mouth. loves everything he does. 

“i’m all yours carm,” she gasps, savoring the deep, satiating feeling of his thick cock.

“yeah?” he asks breathily, “all mine?” grabbing her ass, pulling her in time with his thrusts. 

“y-yeah,” she cries, eyes tightly shut, “yours. i love-ah,” she’s interrupted by a punctuated thrust, losing her words, head falling back, breathing heavily. he feels so good.

“what d’you love?” he asks, leaning forward to kiss her exposed neck, “huh?” 

“love y-how you make me feel,” she cries. 

his chest flutters. he bites and kisses the skin of her neck. he wishes she would’ve said something different. 

“what else, hm?” a kiss, thrusts speeding up, “what else d’you love?” 

“love-fuck, right there,” she whimpers, “i love-ah,” trailing off as if she can’t even think straight. 

carmy smiles into her neck, giving her skin a final bruise before pulling away to catch her lips. 

“tell me,” he growls, grabbing the side of her thigh and continuing to upwards. 

her eyes fill with tears. she’s scared to say it. 

“i-,” an gasp, “i love you, carm.” she catches his gaze as she says it, and watches how his expression softens. how deeply he looks at her. the man dives into her lips again, kissing her with a ferocity she had yet to ever receive, groaning into her mouth. 

“fuckin’ made for me,” he growls in between kisses, “love everything about you,” pulling her leg further up, “perfect fuckin’ girl.”

he rolls over her and lifts her hips up, continuing to thrust into her. 

the girl wraps her legs around his back accommodatingly, dizzy from his words and the pleasure. she slips her fingers down to circle her swollen clit, feeling as if she teters right on the edge of climax, overcome with a white hot pleasure. 

“love you,” she cries, nails scratching down his back, “iloveyouiloveyouiloveyou m’gonna cum” she babbles. he smiles down at her, almost overwhelmed by a feral need to claim her. 

the man deliberates throwing caution to the wind and cumming inside of her. he knows she wouldn’t mind. he rationalizes the logistics of making her a mom in his frenetic state, drinking in the sight of her flushed cheeks, her wet eyes, her open mouth. he decides he’s in love with her. decides he wants her to be his forever. he watches her cum. watches her eyes roll back and her body start shaking. listens to the sweet harmonic moans that spill from her lips. 

“there y’go,” he coaxes, “such a good girl,” kissing her swollen lips, “fuckin’ in love with you,” heightening the pace of his thrusts, feeling himself approach the brink of orgasm. he seriously considers cumming inside of her, telling himself he would if she asked. he looks at the girl for confirmation, but she’s too far gone. he begrudgingly pulls out, shooting thick ropes of cum onto her stomach with a groan, missing her warmth as soon as he leaves. 

carmy rolls off of her, grabbing her face and pressing a firm kiss onto her cheek, collapsing on the bed for a moment. he feels spent.

the girl pants, trying to catch her breath. carmen nuzzles into her neck, wrapping around her tightly, kissing her tenderly. they bask in the afterglow, cherishing the presence of each other, an encompassing silence following the heavy words exchanged.

she’s the first to speak. well, complain. 

“there’s….cum all over my stomach.” she rasps. he smiles into her neck. 

“shower?”

quiet, for a moment. 

“i can’t move.” 

he kisses her bruised skin with a lazy smirk and sits up to grab her a washcloth. 

-

when the girl wakes up alone the next morning, her heart drops a bit, finding the bed next to her empty once again. she shuts her eyes immediately, hoping to be swept away by sleep so she could postpone the disappointment. 

that is, until she hears noises from the kitchen downstairs. and smells the bacon. 

the girl groggily pushes herself up out of bed, stalking down the hallway. she gets halfway to the stairs before realizing she’s completely naked, stopping in her tracks, turning to carmy’s open door, eyes falling on a t-shirt on the ground. she quickly grabs it and slips it over her head, then continues to curiously make her way downstairs. soft music comes from the speaker in the kitchen, and she slowly descends the stairs to find carmy deftly working over the stove. the whole house smells incredible. 

she slips behind him to get to the coffee pot, sliding her hand along his back as she passes. 

the man turns his head.

“hey,”  he watches as she retrieves a mug from the cabinet, graciously taking in the sight of her wearing his shirt. 

“good morning,” she smiles, “smells so good in here.” 

as she stretches to get the mug, the hem of the shirt lifts ever so slightly over the curve of her ass. he clears his throat.

“nice shirt,” carmy says, turning back to tend to the bacon. 

she lets out a soft giggle, pouring her coffee. 

“yeah?” taking a sip and leaning against the counter, “figured it would be better than coming down naked.”

his brain stutters for a moment. he turns to catch the smirk on her face. 

“i, uh…. i dunno about that,” he responds, small smile on his face. she shoves his arm playfully and he breaks into a grin. 

“no work this morning?” she asks, grateful for the unusual saturday morning presence. 

“no, i, uh…m’taking a personal day,” he replies, turning the heat of the stove off, “had some stuff i needed to get done.”

“good,” she replies with a nod, “you deserve a day off. i didn’t take you for much of a breakfast guy, though” she comments, tilting her head slightly. 

“i’m not, really,” he plates the bacon over a paper towel, “but i, uh…thought some all american might help with your hangover.” 

she feels a pang in her chest, eyes glancing over the assortment of pancakes, eggs, hash browns, and bacon. everything she had told him last night. 

“carm,” she whines, “that is so kind. you didn’t have to all of this for me.”

the food looked delectable, plated beautifully and piping hot. 

“i wanted to.” he begins to pick up the plates. 

she puts her coffee down and helps him set the table.

when she takes the first bite of her bacon and eggs she practically moans at the taste. 

“fuck,” she locks eyes with him. 

“yeah?” he watches her with amusement.

“yeah,” she breathes, nodding, “that’s…wow.” 

he can’t help but grin, hand coming to rub over his face. 

“good?” 

“yeah.” she nods, “really fucking good.”

he feels his skin heat at the way she says it, having no idea why watching her enjoy his food was so deeply satisfying (and maybe just a little arousing).

“try the pancakes,” he tells her, pushing the syrup closer to her. she nods enthusiastically, slathering the pancakes the maple syrup and taking a big bite. 

the girl groans, and her head falls into her hand, savoring the taste. she doesn’t think she’s ever had pancakes so good. 

“i could kiss you right now,” she looks back up at him. he lets out a breath of amusement and his cheeks warm with her praise.

“i’m glad you like it.” 

“no, seriously, i’m…going to kiss you.” she tells him, putting a hand on the table and leaning over it. she grabs his shirt and pulls him in, kissing him firmly. 

the man lets out a soft groan of surprise, enthusiastically reciprocating. she tastes like maple syrup. 

when the girl pulls back, he grabs her face and pulls her back in, wanting another sweet taste. it’s better than any pancakes he’s ever made. 

carmen loosens his grip on her face and she slowly pulls away, pressing a last kiss to his lips before sitting back down. she gives him a mischievous smile and continues eating her breakfast.  

-

“go sit down,” she tells him, taking the pan from him, “you already cooked, let me clean up.”

“we can do it together,” he compromises, “it’ll be faster.”

she shakes her head, making a pile of dishes in the sink and turning on the hot water.  

“no. go sit down and relax,” she demands, beginning to scrub. 

she feels arms wrap around her waist, feels lips on her neck. 

“so bossy,” he chides in between kisses, pressing his hips against her backside. she lets out a slow breath, leaning into his touch. her eyes flutter as she feels his hand creep under her shirt, splaying over her stomach. she’s not wearing anything besides his oversized shirt, and her skin suddenly feels hot from his touch. she arches into him slightly, and he bites her neck.  

it feels very domestic, fighting over who would clean up the kitchen. it feels domestic wearing his shirt and being pressed up against the counter by him, skin littered with his bruises, lips intertwined with his name. 

carmy begins to lift the borrowed shirt up, kisses trailing up to her ear, hand coming to squeeze her breast. 

the girl releases a soft noise, completely distracted by her task of washing dishes. her head falls back against his shoulder, and she leans into his touch. 

carmen thinks of telling her to strip the shirt off. thinks of hoisting her up onto the counter and eating her out until she cums. touching her until she cries.

he pushes the shirt up further. 

knock knock knock 

they both startle and look to the front door. carmen checks the time, and his heart drops a bit. 

he pulls away from the girl and runs a hand through his curls.

“who is it?” she asks him, observing his look of stress. 

“it’s, uh….fuck. just wait right here, okay?” his hands fall from his hips and he stalks to the closet by the front door, pulling out a scarf she doesn’t recognize. 

he opens the door halfway, and she hears a familiar woman’s voice greeting him. 

her face gets hot. her chest feels tight. 

“claire,” he greets quietly, thrusting the scarf forward, “here.”

“ugh, thank you, carmy. i’m so forgetful sometimes.” 

“no problem. i should, uh-”

“it smells good in there,” claire comments, peaking in. 

carmen steps back, eyes darting over to his roommate. she stands with her arms crossed, leaning against the counter, staring at him.

“i’m uh…cooking breakfast,” he turns back to claire, “so i should probably get back to that. i’ll see yo-”

“-i was thinking we could talk?” she cuts him off, “can i come in?”

“i don’t know if that’s…,” carmen hesitates. he glances to his roommate to find her walking behind him towards the stairs.

claire’s eyes follow the girl, taking in her attire. carmy watches her expression slightly falter. 

his roommate stalks up the stairs. was walking behind him in plain sight a little petty? maybe. but she’s sick of carmy never saying exactly what he means. she undoes the hair tie holding together her messy updo, walking to her room. 

she quickly grabs a change of clothes and rushes into to the bathroom to shower, feeling the overwhelming need to leave the apartment. 

the front door slams shut, and she hears his steps ascend the stairs.

[stormyelliotwritez]

DATING WADE AND LOGAN AS M!READER HEADCANONS PT 2

i love these idiots so much so heres some hurt/comfort among other things

wade likes to take you out on dates and logan doesn’t always come because loud spaces freak him out but they make sure to always take you out together at least once a fortnight

logan reads the newspaper at the table in the morning and its calmest he’ll be all day so its opportune time for you or wade to ramble to your hearts content

they both get very impatient when you take longer doing stuff than you said you would such as going to the shops and you need to message them to reassure them you’re okay

theyre both so so traumatized so hugs and venting is a regular thing at night

logan gets really bad nightmares and so sometimes he’ll spoon wade instead of you because wade will survive getting stabbed in the middle of the night but wade makes sure to give you extra cuddles

they love love love showering with you though logan hates any strong smelling shampoo or body wash or anything and Wade’s very close to slipping at all times so showers are fun

wade likes finding you little trinkets like a bottle cap from a bottle of beer logan smashed over someones head on a mission or a pen from a bad guys office

logan’s guilty pleasure is watching crappy tv and he’ll give you puppy dog eyes until you come and sit with him

you guys have a weighted blanket on your bed to ground logan and wade and you if u want

logan buys a record player for the apartment and wade buys a bunch of pop records for it while logan buys dad rock

logan has a carabiner with his keys on it and if hes in a particularly jealous mood, he’ll attach it to your belt loop so you stay with him (i saw a steddie headcanon like this and its occupied my mind)

i will probably make more specific ones of these like dating them on your period or autistic reader or something

[pinksugardollz]

Self Care Guide For Bad Mental Health Days

⋆ ˚｡⋆୨♡୧⋆ ˚｡⋆

♡ let yourself cry! feeling sad when you have bpd can feel like the world is ending, but it isn’t. feeling sad is normal, and it’s completely okay. don’t demonise your emotions. let it out

♡ cuddle with your pets! cats are absolutely amazing for this, dogs too. lil furry babies make me so happy and cheer me up so much when im feeling low

♡ take as many naps as you need without guilt. rest rest rest, even on your good days! stop overworking yourself

♡ shower, you don’t have to do your full routine, just make sure you wash yourself then apply your favourite lotion and sweet scented perfume

♡ cosy up and watch something that makes you happy. nostalgic tv shows are great, on my bad days i really love watching spongebob bratz or strawberry shortcake

♡ invest in a 2L water bottle and keep it by your bed for those low motivation days

♡ light your favourite bakery scented candle, sweet scents always uplift my mood

♡ do not isolate yourself, try to keep in contact with friends or family

♡ eat some chocolate or chips, whatever your favourite comfort food is. your happiness is more important than your diet

♡ if you’re struggling to get out of bed, try keeping everything you need on your bedside table so you can still do your skincare routines and take your daily vitamins from your bed

♡ run a nice relaxing bubble bath!!!

♡ put on some cosy pjs & grab a pink fluffy blanket and snuggle on the sofa instead of staying in bed all day

♡ set rules for yourself, write some things you that want to achieve in a day. such as keeping your skin moisturised, shower twice a day, drink enough water, getting out of bed. anything that applies to you. self care can become confusing and daunting, so write everything down to remind yourself to look after and cherish yourself

♡ make sure you’re eating enough. even if you’re not feeling hungry, if you don’t have the energy to cook, order takeout! it’s ok to eat takeout sometimes, just not all of the time as junk food can be highly addictive, and obviously isn’t very good for you

♡ try writing down your thoughts and feelings. i love journaling and covering the pages with pink stickers and making it look all pretty, it’s so therapeutic

♡ reach out to a mental health professional if things get too bad. this may feel hard, but if you need help desperately pls get it

♡ acknowledge that what you’re feeling is just temporary, whatever you’re feeling won’t last forever

♡ make sure you’re getting enough sleep. whenever i didn’t get enough sleep in the past, i would sometimes start seeing and hearing things, and would become very paranoid and disassociated, which is obviously not what anyone wants. so pls pls pls make sure you’re prioritising your sleep

♡ treat yourself, buy something pink and pretty just because you can

♡ take a day or 2 off work (if allowed)

tiny disclaimer: these tips may seem obvious to those of you without serious mental health problems, and they may be things you do everyday but when someone with mental health problems is in a really bad place, they can sometimes forget how to look after themselves properly, or in my case a few years ago i would just stop caring about myself. i love all of my pretty sugar dollies so much, look after yourselves and i really hope some of these tips help you 🎀🦢

[heartz4shauna]

dating art h/cs 2!! part 1 here

❀ loves when you ask him out on dates

❀ loves when you do anything, really

❀ when yall are sleeping together he counts your freckles cuz he loves ‘em

❀ is so fond of dogs and needs to get one with you. would probably try to name it something stupid like biscuit

❀ he thinks is adorable when you wear his clothes! literally just makes him wanna be around you more

❀ loves your parents and speaks to them so like. professionally. “hello, ma’am. hello, sir.” and you tell him he doesn’t have to call them that but he insists on it anyway

❀ takes pictures of you all the time when you’re not looking. he has a specific camera with a sticker with your name on it and it’s just full of pictures of you, washing dishes, brushing your hair etc

❀ wants to make it known that yall are dating. if you’re getting flirted with by a cashier he’ll come up behind you and grab your waist, “is everything okay here?” he’ll ask the cashier in a somewhat condescending tone

❀ loves the focused face you make when your doing something you love. just like he has his serve, you have your little tic too and he adores it

❀ movie dates at home are his absolute favourite!! he loves that he can just stay under a blanket with you with no one else and can fall asleep on you without repercussions. his excuse? “the movie.. it was just so long, had to shut my eyes, babe.”

❀ he says he hates listening to the music you like but he always bops his head along to the beat because in reality, the music you like is TOP TIER and he just won’t admit it

❀ loves. and when i say loves i mean LOVESSSSS giving you back scratches. he thinks it’s so therapeutic and relaxing, not just for you, but for the both of you

❀ puts your beds together in minecraft.

[blondeboyfriend]

𝐅𝐋𝐎𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐂𝐄𝐍𝐂𝐄 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝐌𝐈𝐍𝐎𝐑𝐒 𝐃𝐍𝐈

[ PAIRING ] Vash the Stampede x reader [ AUTHOR'S NOTE ] I turned this thirst into a fic. [ SYNOPSIS ] Vash starts emitting sexy pheromones that leave you desperate for his cock. [ WORD COUNT ] 2.5k [ CONTENT ] Canon AU, porn without plot, dubcon, vaginal sex, rough sex, size kink, mild dumbification, plantfucking, body horror/weird plant biology, oral sex (m receiving), vaginal fingering, nipple play, Vash has a biting kink, self objectification (does that even make sense?), knotting, creampie, cockwarming.

It was just past midnight. The moons were looming high in the sky, illuminating the desolate land surrounding the town you and Vash had taken refuge in. Your face was pressed against the window, gazing out into the sandy void.

“You see the sky tonight?” you asked.

Vash didn’t bother responding. You turned around and saw his dejected form.

“You’re lookin’ more wistful than usual.”

He was sprawled out on the bed, leaving you little to no room. The lodge you were holed up in only had a single room vacant and of course there was but one measly bed. It was a good enough sized one though; it could definitely provide comfort for you and the gangly mess of a man you called a travel companion.

Vash merely sighed in response to your question and stared up at the ceiling.

His gaze was flat, not a hint of sparkle to his blue-green eyes. His sweet face was held hostage by a delightfully adorable pout. Thoughts of biting down on his bottom lip swirled around you, leaving you flustered and throbbing. You hoped whatever was troubling him wasn’t too serious because otherwise your current state would be disrespectful.

“What’s wrong?” you prodded, taking a seat on the bed. You tried to sound as dry as humanly possible.

He turned his head towards you and gave you the weakest, most pathetic smile. A smile that inspired no faith in what it sought to imply.

“Nothing you need to worry about,” he answered sweetly.

You glared at him. “Fine. I—Well… I guess I’m going to sleep.” You paused awkwardly. “Goodnight.”

Vash scooted over, granting you space on the mattress. You crawled into place, not bothering to cover yourself with the musty bedding. It smelled too much like sand.

You rolled onto your side, your back facing Vash. You held yourself in a fetal position in hopes it would keep you warm. In a perfect world you’d just snuggle up next to him and leech off the heat his body seemed to radiate. But you didn’t live in a perfect world; you lived in a sandy, inhospitable land.

“Are you cold?” he asked. Such a perceptive one he was.

“A little,” you lied.

“Get under the blankets then,” he suggested.

“No. They smell like sand and… I don’t know, like, armpit sweat.”

He let out a tiny laugh. “I can’t argue with you there.”

You wriggled your shoulders in discomfort. You wanted to curl up next to Vash like a kitten, but with his current mood it just didn’t seem feasible. The last thing you wanted to do was annoy him so you would have to bear the drafty room on your own. It would only be for a night; you could handle it.

However after about five minutes of shivering in painful silence, you turned over and faced Vash. He was on his side, facing you. His eyes were shut, his dark lashes catching the moonlight streaming through the windows.

You gently nudged him. “Hey.”

He briefly frowned, but stayed asleep.

You nudged him once more, this time much harder.

“Vash!”

His eyes shot open and he jerked back.

“Ouch! Why are you being so aggressive?”

“I have a question,” you said, giving him puppy dog eyes.

“Ask away.”

“Can we spoon, or snuggle, or something?”

“Uh—”

“If you don’t want to, that’s fine. I know you… are like… You’ve got something on your mind and I don’t wanna—”

The radiant grin he gave you calmed your nerves. He pulled you into his embrace, wrapping his arms around you. Your face was buried into his neck. He smelled like freshly washed linens, undercut by a strange earthy, honey-like scent, a creamy florescent. The chills that cursed your body melted away in his presence.

“Thank you,” you muttered, voice muffled by Vash’s sweet skin.

You inhaled deeply and pressed your body up against his. He felt tense, like his muscles were frozen in place.

“Do you wanna talk about it?” you asked.

“It’s stupid,” he whined.

“I don’t care.”

He paused and took a few slow breaths, preparing himself for the question he was about to pose.

“I really like you and—”

“You wanna fuck me, huh?” you asked, your face adorned with a cat-like grin. You had never been so forward before, but something seemed to possess you.

“Of course I do.” He groaned. “But I can’t because… it’s complicated. And intense.”

“Is that supposed to be a deterrent?”

He rolled onto his back and hid his face behind his hands.

“It’s just different, alright?”

You crawled on top of him, unable to help yourself. His aura was whipping you into a frenzy, the lovely scent emanating from his skin growing stronger and luring you in.

“I like different,” you purred.

He gulped. “I should tell you—”

You didn’t let him speak.“I don’t care what happens.”

Vash blushed. “Let me finish.”

You groaned but relented. “Fine. But be quick.”

“I haven’t, uh, you know… in a while. And when that happens my body produces these pheromones that are supposed to attract a mate.”

“A mate?” you asked, voice wavering. You liked Vash and wanted to fuck him, but mate implied somewhat of a large commitment.

“No! Not a mate! It, well, it makes people want to—”

“Fuck you?” you asked, biting down on your upper lip.

He nodded. “And they kinda… drive me crazy too.” He tacked on a nervous laugh. “Sometimes I can’t control myself which isn’t fair because, well, whoever is… uh… they do whatever I want them to.”

Your cunt was growing wetter by the second.

“So that’s why I want you to use me so bad.”

His eyes were wide, almost sparkling. His cheeks were rosy and the scent emanating from him grew stronger.

You felt as if the room was enveloped in a sensuous haze that seeped into your skin, flowing through your veins. It was consuming you, eating away at your thoughts, leaving behind visions of Vash tossing your legs over your shoulders and driving his cock into your weeping cunt. Your body was growing warmer, almost unbearably so. Every inch of you ached for him. You would know no peace until his body was lording over yours and filling you up with his cum.

“I just.” He averted your lingering gaze. “It’s embarrassing. I hate getting like that. When I do all I can think about is pinning someone down and fucking them until they can’t see straight.”

“That sounds amazing,” you said dreamily. 

Your manner of speaking was much more provocative than it usually was. Your tongue seemed to linger on the letters, leaving each one coated in a honey-like tone. There was almost a hint of a tumultuous moan when you said “aammmaaaaaziiingg.”

Vash looked uncomfortable, but willing. His hands were gripping the sheets as if he was holding on for dear life.

“I know you want me,” you teased, rocking your hips against his. “I’m not lying when I say you can do whatever you want to me. You need it. I know you do.” You cupped his face in your gentle hands. “Let me help you. It’s what I’m here for.”

He laughed. “It’s not, but…”

“Hush,” you said, grabbing a hold of his cock.

It was swollen, begging for release.

You lowered yourself down and pulled down the soft, worn cotton pants he liked to sleep in. His cock sprung up, standing completely upright. The tip was engorged and pink. You rubbed it with the pad of your thumb and watched as Vash winced. His brows knitted together in ecstatic agony.

A few thick veins snaked around his shaft. You ghosted your fingers over them and reveled in his desperate whines. You looked up at him with starved eyes, darkened by your devotion and desire. You ran your tongue along the underside of his shaft. You grabbed ahold of his cock and stroked it while you rolled your tongue against the tip, savoring the sweet taste of his precum.

He let out a low groan as you pumped his leaky cock. He placed his hand on the back of your head and gently pushed down. You dropped your hand and decided to let your mouth do the work.

Vash eased your head further down, until the entirety of his length filled your mouth. Spit was trickling from the corners of your mouth and tears crept out from the corners of your eyes. He began to thrust, sending the tip of his cock into the back of your throat. You were steadfast and breathed through your nose, fighting your gag reflex.

“Your mouth fe—feels so good,” he stammered.

You placed your hands on his muscled thighs to push yourself off of his cock, but you felt what appeared to be downy feathers sprouting from his skin. It threw you off for a moment before you remembered what you wanted to say.

“Wait until you feel my pussy,” you bragged.

His eyes almost seemed to glow. He gave you a boyish smile before pushing you onto your back with a swiftness that left you in awe. His hands wandered down your body, pawing at your clothes, desperately trying to take them off. Your body felt electric as he undressed you. Each time his warm, slender fingers grazed your skin your body pulsed with delight. 

He kissed your neck before letting his sharp canines graze your tender skin. You hummed in delight, and laced your fingers through his silky hair. He rutted up against your body, the tip of his cock teasing your clit. You whimpered every time it made contact.

He left a trail of kisses down your neck and chest, stopping at your breast. He flicked his tongue against your nipple. He sucked on it, holding it between his soft lips. You relished in the sound of him lapping away. You held onto his shoulders, feeling spiny quills erupting from his scapulae.

“Vash,” you whimpered. “Are you okay?”

He didn’t respond. The quills from his back grew longer and denser. You pricked your finger on one of the sharp tips. You winced in pain and moved your hand down to the small of his back. You watched as the spiny quills became more feather-like. They were pale and iridescent and they left you transfixed. They were so beautiful. They soon covered his back and made their way down his arms. You ran your hand down the length of them. They were soft and sleek, like nothing you had ever experienced before.

“So pretty,” you muttered.

Vash lifted his head from your breast.

“Hm?”

A cluster of eyes has formed in the middle of his forehead. It disturbed you briefly, but the feeling of his cock throbbing against your thigh was enough to make you forget about it.

“Nothing, nothing,” you said, stroking his cheek.

You kissed him, pushing your tongue past his teeth. He held you close and you felt like your body was melting into his. You wanted to become a part of him. He slid his fingers into your cunt, spreading apart your folds. You groaned in frustration. His fingers weren’t enough. You needed his cock.

“Please just fuck me,” you whined, breaking the kiss.

He looked up at you with all of his dazed eyes and wordlessly nodded. He slowly guided his cock inside you. You gasped as your cunt stretched around it. You buried your face into his neck, hoping to mute your cries of pleasure. His thrusts were gentle and deliberate. You could feel that he was holding back.

“Is it too much?” he asked, planting a kiss on your forehead.

You shook your head. “More.”

He gave you a concerned look. “More?”

“Yeah. Fuck me like I’m a whore.”

Vash nearly choked on his own spit.

“C’mon,” you purred. “You know you want to.”

“I can’t. It’ll be too much.”

“My body can take it.”

He frowned. “I could really hurt you.”

“I like it when it hurts,” you said, tightening your cunt around his cock. You kissed him again and held his bottom lip between your teeth. “I’m your toy. You can do whatever you want to me.”

Vash looked at you, holding your gaze, clearly weighing his options. Once he made up his mind an impish grin made its way across his face and he lifted your legs over his shoulders.

His thrusts were significantly more intense than they were previously. He drove his cock into your cunt with a fervor you had never experienced. His cocktip pushed up against your cervix, sending a sharp sensation to your core. You became a panting, moaning mess. You were falling apart at the seams, your body as limp as a doll’s. Vash was able to manipulate your body with ease, essentially folding you in half, leaving your knees close to your face.

You looked up at him as his wings spread out, nearly engulfing you. It was hard to believe this was the same Vash you wandered the desert with. You never would have thought the doughnut eating dork could be so feral. You knew he wasn’t a human, but his true nature being so alien never occurred to you.

As he fucked your limp body into the mattress, you felt your orgasm begin to bloom in your stomach. Your breathing became labored and all you could think about was coming all over his cock.

“You’re close, aren’t you?” he growled.

“Uh-huh,” you moaned.

He picked up the pace, his thrusts growing more and more frantic. The room was filled with a symphony of his grunts and whimpers. You were lost in his presence, completely enamored and consumed by it. Your vision blurred and you saw nothing but white as you came. A deluge of fluids dripped from your cunt and coated his cock. You felt like you had ascended to heaven, leaving No Man’s Land in the dust.

Vash continued to thrust as his cock swelled inside you. Spurts of his slippery cum filled your cunt. He exhaled deeply and allowed your legs to fall to the side and laid down on top of you. The two of you tried to catch your breath and let the rapture you were entangled in fade away.

“I’m sorry,” he said bashfully, lifting himself up.

His cock was still buried inside you.

“Why…” You struggled to find your words. “Why are you… sorry?”

“Because! I didn’t want you to ever see me like this. I look like a freak.”

You ran your hand along his wings and made an effort to make eye contact with the cluster of ones on his forehead.

“I think you’re the most beautiful thing I’ve ever laid eyes on.”

“You’re just saying that because you're high off my pheromones,” he scoffed.

You giggled. “Maybe. But you’re still very pretty.”

You rubbed the short feathers that had sprouted along the apples of his cheeks. He sighed in relief and nuzzled his face into your neck. His cock continued to throb inside you and likely would for a while. You didn’t mind though. Laying under Vash, shielded by his wings from the harsh world outside, was all you could want in such a harsh and unforgiving world.

[ohbo-ohno]

Johnny being allowed to fuck but not cum all week because he pissed simon off, he tries bargaining with reader at one point to just - ease the cockring off , simon won't notice it'll be fine. Reader doesn't even have a chance to consider it before Johnny ripped out of her and is muzzled because bad dogs need to keep quiet

hm. you shot me dead with this one. like. what am i supposed to do with myself now?

1.4k of smut below the cut. cw: rough puppy play, itty bitty tiny second of cbt, edging/denial, simon is real real mean to johnny

something about johnny being in trouble and not being allowed to cum in you but trying anyway.... oh he's horrible

maybe this is after he was a little too rough with you (like that ask where he fucked up your wrist, or something similar) and he's in deep shit with simon. not only is he allowed to fuck you, simon makes him fuck you at least once a day. lines up behind johnny and moves his hips for him, doesn't even let him thrust on his own, guides every tiny little twitch. tugs him out right at the last second, makes johnny watch as he comes inside you. spends the whole time calling him bad, says if he could just learn to fucking listen for once he could mount you properly

johnny spends the whole week in misery. guy can barely sit down, he just wants to hump fucking everything. simon tells him he can't sit on the furniture when he's so drippy :( makes him sit on the floor instead - or he can let you clean johnny up, but no coming. does he want to be edged again or kneel between his legs like the mutt he is?

jacks him off in the shower in the morning, stopping right before he comes. leaves him crying and makes johnny wash his hair. has you cockwarm him for a bit, to make sure he stays completely hard. makes johnny eat you out til you're nearly knocked out, jacks him off slowly and stops every time you come.

he's nearly done with his punishment when he fucking breaks. it's a night simon isn't meant to be home until after midnight. you'd gone to bed earlier than johnny, wake up to him at you back, nose nudging your cheekbone and hard cock thrusting against your back.

"just gonna- just gonna fuck you, bonnie, 'k?"

"johnny?" you murmur, still half asleep. "but... simon said-"

"simon isn't fucking here," he snarls back, and you feel his bared teeth press against his shoulder. "he won't know. i'll be quick, ok, lass? just gotta... gotta cum, then you go back to sleep, yeah?"

"johnny," you'd whine again, getting a little squirmy in your spot as you feel his hands work at his own dick, then feel him start to slide in without any prep. "john- ow..."

"hush," he breathes heavily in your ear, hips already starting to work. you can feel how quickly his heart beats against you back. "i'll eat you out after, just let me... just..."

he doesn't speak after that, and neither do you. he's fast, needy, you can tell he's only gonna last a few minutes. you're still half-asleep, lost in the comforting warmth of your blankets and pillows, can't do anything but lay limp like a doll for him and relish in the pleasure.

you don't hear simon come in. one minute johnny is thrusting away inside of you, the next he's being ripped off, a sharp yelp coming from his lips followed by a long drawn out whine.

"bad fucking boy," you hear simon snarl over your shoulder, the sound of a slap echoing through the air. "you that fucking lost in your instincts, dog? can't think with nothin' but your dick - you see a pussy and fuck it, that's it huh? can't even listen to a simple command from your master. useless mutt."

you turn your head to the side, sleep clearing from your head at the sight of johnny crumpled to his knees, simon tall and proud above him. you can see the shine of tears on johnny's cheeks with the little light from the doorway.

"simon- simon-"

"no," simon's tone is merciless, his boot coming to rest on johnny's rock-hard dick and pushing down. "that's not what bad boys get to call me."

another whine, a plaintive "master..."

you see johnny's hips work a little, tiny thrusts against the sole of the boot. simon's scowl grows, backhanding johnny with bruising force and sending him sprawling to the floor. "why are you speaking? dogs don't fucking talk."

he stares down at johnny for another moment, both of them taking great heaving breaths. finally, he sighs loud and angry. "fine. i was going easy on you, mutt, was tryin' to be nice. but clearly you don't deserve nice."

he stalks over to their closet, yanking open a drawer you know holds the mean toys - the ones you don't like nearly as much as the others. he grabs something silver and shiny, storm back over to johnny and hauls him up by the hair.

johnny scrambles to follow, but simon doesn't give him a chance to stand. just drags his weight to the bed, throws him onto his back nearly on top of your legs.

you squeak a little, simon's aggressive energy something you're not entirely comfortable being so close to. you curl your legs up, folding into a little ball against the pillows as you stare at the two of them with wide eyes.

simon glances over to you at the sound, eyes softening behind his mask immediately. "oh, love, you're not in trouble. you couldn't stop the mutt from fucking you, huh? don't worry. we'll get him punished and i'll take care of you."

johnny whines again and starts wiggling around, eyes squeezed shut as his hips desperately thrust, looking for any sort of sensation. simon's attention slams back to him, a growl rumbling from his throat as he cups johnny's dick in one hand.

"gotta get you soft, dog," he growls, and you see his hand moving around a bit until he's got johnny's balls in a vice-grip. "the ring wasn't enough for a horny bitch like you, we'll see how you like the cage."

johnny's past words, can only writhe on the bed with little animal noises slipping past his lips. simon doesn't give him any leeway, doesn't give him comfort when he starts to sob a little, just keeps squeezing.

once he's apparently soft enough, simon is quick and methodical about locking johnny's cock up. almost impersonal.

"there," he grunts when he stands up to stare down at johnny. he lands a slap to johnny's dick, gets the smaller man jolting and crying out. "in your cage now. you're not sleeping in bed with us people until you prove you can handle it."

johnny hardly struggles as simon forces him to his knees, kicking at his side to guide him to the crate looming in the corner of the room.

just moments later simon's at the bed with you. he tugs the mask off now (knows you like it sometimes, but also knows it scares you a little - rarely wears it outside of punishments) and crawls on top of you, hands soft and slow as he coaxes you to stretch out back on the bed.

"hey, baby," he murmurs, voice low and just for you. "you're a good girl. can't help what the mutt does, huh? i know, i know. i'll take care of you now, fuck you right."

there are whines from the corner as simon flips you onto your stomach. he lifts you up to your knees, everything soft as he rubs your pussy a few times before slipping his cock into you.

he's always so heavy. you sink further into the bed when he gives you his weight, little moan slipping past your lips as your eyes roll back in your head. johnny gets louder.

"yeah, there you go. good girl, baby, so good for me, huh?"

simon fucks you deep and slow. no rush whatsoever, just nice and languid. you'd probably fall asleep if not for johnny's increasingly desperate noises, the sound of his crate rocking against the wall as he does something in there.

at one point simon sighs all annoyed into your ear, pulls out without warning. you whine and he pets a hand over your hair, whisps "just give me a second, doll, gotta shut the dog up and then i'll finish you off" before walking away.

you don't open your eyes, but you hear simon moving around the room. hear him spit, "makin' me fucking muzzle you because you can't shut up. nothing but a goddamn animal, are you?"

when simon fucks you again, johnny is silent.

he brings you to a slow and easy orgasm, fingers stroking at your achy clit. finishes inside you at nearly the same time.

he tucks you into his arms after, curls you into him and sighs, the sound all satisfied man. you fall asleep like that, johnny's predicament the furthest thing from your mind.

[starboye]

Addicted

pairing: bryce mckenzie x male reader

warnings: smut, somnophilia, spanking, aftercare, overestimation, crying from pleasure, cursing

summary: from this

"bryce please i need a break" you brokenly beg as bryce pounds into you at an unrelenting pace "i cant stop when i have such a nice hole around me" bryce grunts gripping you hips tighter with each moan you let out "we've been going for hours" you whine "which means you could go for one more" bryce cheerily says smiling wide "how are you not tired" you ask huskily "because this keeps me going" he says stopping his movement momentarily to admire the mess he's made in your hole.

"yeah but we've been going for hours" you say as a small tear drops down your face from pleasure "just think of it as an early honey moon" bryce says "i wont be alive to see it if you keep fucking me" you yell before letting out a moan to the feeling of bryce cumming for the 7th or 8th time, you couldn't really tell anymore because all of them just blended together in your mind.

"you always were a little dramatic" bryce chuckles "finally we're done" you huff moving to get off the bed "ah ah where do you think your going" bryce tuts as he grabs you weak leg "bryce please no im tired" you whine "c'mon just one more time" bryce pleas "you said that an hour ago" you huff "please" bryce begs with puppy dog eyes before kissing you deeply.

you never could resist when bryce gave you those kind of kisses its like your brain just shuts down and you'd do whatever he tells you too "fine" is all you manage to get out before bryce is pushing you back onto the bed and thrusting into you again with a slew of curses falling from his mouth "i promise this is the last time babe" bryce said admiring the way your face scrunched up with every movement.

"you there y/n" bryce chuckles as he slaps your ass harshly "ngh" you whine gripping bryces wrist "someones sensitive" he smirks groping you ass "im so tired" you moan as more tears fall from your eyes "well if you do fall asleep can i keep going" bryce asks slowing his pace for a moment, all you can do is nod as you slowly pass out.

"damn your still squeezing even after passing out, you're one hell of a slut" bryce says holding your ass "you just needed a good fucking huh" bryce asks tilting his head slightly, he feels up and down you body as you lay there mouth agape and looking as beautiful as ever.

as bryces thrusts into you deeply he notices how your belly bulges with every move upward in you, he grabs your hand and lays it over the bulging spot "you feel that baby, thats me deep in you" bryce whispers as a grin creeps across his face.

you writher in your sleep as bryce quickens his pace and the thrust become deeper and harder "i know baby im almost done" bryce apologizes "nghhh bryce" you moan in your sleep "that's right y/n its just me" bryce reassures interlocking his fingers with yours.

with a couple more thrusts bryce cums in you as he huffs loudly and you calm down before going back to sleep, he pulls out of your hole after hours of fucking his dick twitching lightly "you really know how to make a guy feels special" bryce pants kissing your head lightly.

"now lets get you cleaned" bryce grunts picking you up and taking you the bathroom, he holds you in his arms as he waits for the water to heat up, when the water heats up he puts you in before sliding in behind you, you now resting on his sweaty sticky chest.

"br-bryce" you softly say waking up "im right here dont worry" he sweetly reassures wiping the cum off you body with a rag "thanks for this babe" you say nuzzling into his chest "you're welcome" bryce whispers kissing the top of your head before dozing back to sleep.

"such a cutie" he chcukles washing the soap off your body "now lets get you to bed", bryce picks you up out the tub and dries you off before dressing you up in one of his shirts and your shorts, he lays you in bed and pulls you into his chest as he wraps you both in a blanket.

"goodnight bryce" you softly speak before finally going to sleep "goodnight y/n" bryce say tightly hugging you.

[roostersbby69]

Newest member

Summary: Bradley is getting home from deployment and has no idea what the baby’s gender is. You surprise him and he is overjoyed with the baby.

Pairing: Bradley x wife reader

The sun peaked through the curtains and warmed your face as the blankets wrapped around you. You turned and rubbed your growing belly as baby Bradshaw seemed to be waking you up by kicking you.

“Okay, okay I’m getting up.” You groaned as you struggled to sit up.

You stretched your arms over your head as Diesel got up from his dog bed and padded over to you.

“You need to go potty?” You rubbed his ears as he yawned. You got out of bed and sighed as the weight of your belly pulled you. You were about seven months along and ready to get this baby out.

You walked to the kitchen and opened the sliding door for Diesel to go outside, you closed it and walked to your coffee maker and popped in a flavor you wanted. You rested your elbows onto the counter and smelled the coffee as it brewed into your cup. You turned your head to read the clock on your oven, 7:43, you got to go pick up Bradley today.

You were so excited, the last time you saw each other you were four months pregnant, so you were sure he wouldn’t recognize you at seven months.

In the letters you had sent him you also put an updated sonogram picture with it. He loved them and kept them under his pillow to keep them safe, and every night he would pull them out and look at the baby’s face every night. His baby’s face. He was so excited to be a daddy. And even more excited to see you as a mama.

You grabbed your cup and checked your calendar on your fridge to see what time he would be here. Eleven. You rubbed your belly and smiled to yourself, you would finally see your husband.

Diesel was at the door now so you let him inside then walked back to your room to start getting ready. You took a quick EVERYTHING shower, you shaved and washed your hair and walked out with a towel on your head and your maternity robe that Bradley had gifted you before he left.

You checked your phone, sipped your coffee and saw that he had text you.

B: Already on the way, honey, I’m so ready to see you and the baby. You still coming to pick me up?

You smiled and squealed.

You: we’ve missed you so much, Roo. Yes we will be there when you get here.

B: I can’t wait. XOXO

You grabbed your makeup bag and started to get ready while you thought about him.

How he kissed you and made love to you before he got deployed. How he always made your coffee every morning and you could smell it when you woke up. How he woke you up with a back rub when you complained the night before about your body aching. And how he talked to the baby about his day and rested his hand on your belly.

You knew he would be a great father, he told you before he left that he didn’t care whether it was a girl or boy. He would love them no matter what. But now that you knew the gender, you could barely hold yourself together. You told him that when you picked him up you would have something with you for him to see which it was, girl or boy.

You bought a dress and asked the lady at the ultrasound clinic to write on the sonogram if it was a boy or girl. You already knew, but your anxiety was through the roof today.

You had also bought a little teddy bear dressed in his Navy dress blues. You pinned the picture to his paw and would give it to Bradley once you saw him.

You did your makeup, blow dried your hair and packed your purse. It was an hour drive to where they were docking but you didn’t mind.

You slipped on your sandals and grabbed your keys before giving Diesel a kiss on the head, “Be a good boy!” You called before locking up the house and walking to your car. All kinds of thoughts were running through your head.

What if he doesn’t like the way you look?

What if he sees how big you’ve gotten and leaves you?

Your hands started shaking as you cranked the bronco and all of these what if questions swarmed in your head, you controlled your breathing and rubbed your belly.

“Let’s go see daddy.”

-

You waited outside the bronco and folded your hands under your belly. You watched as families had handmade signs and balloons. Wives were crying as they searched for their husbands to come home to them. Children playing and asking where their daddy was, sitting on their mother’s hip as she pointed to the boat coming in.

You took deep breaths as your stomach fluttered. You would finally see your soldier.

You had slipped your white cardigan on and had your hands placed over your belly as you stood on your tip toes and watched as soldiers poured from the dock.

You had told Bradley that you were bringing the bronco and you would be there by it.

Your phone began to ring just as you were debating on rushing through the crowd, but decided against it so you wouldn’t get ran into.

You answered the phone and held your other ear, “Hello?”

“Hi honey, where are you?” Bradley’s voice came through, you sighed and smiled.

“Do you see the big light pole directly in front of the dock?”

“Ummm” he sat for a second, “yes I see it.”

“Go to it, I’m parked right under it, I tried to find a distinct spot so it would be easy for you to find me.”

He laughed as he politely shoved through people, but he couldn’t help it, he was eager to see you and the baby.

“I’m coming, honey. As fast as I can.” The lady that overheard him smiled as she waited for her husband as well.

He excused himself between reunited families and finally saw a flash of the bronco.

He broke through the crowd and clutched his duffle bag tightly as he finally saw you. You looked beautiful, you were wearing a yellow sundress that hugged your belly, a white cardigan and your hair was curled. He dropped his phone from his ear as you dropped yours onto the ground and ran to him, well more like waddled.

He laughed as he opened his arms and took you in, he groaned and breathed in your scent.

Tears started pouring down your face and you tried to control your breathing as you squeezed him tighter.

“Oh Bradley, I missed you so much!” You turned and kissed his cheek.

He turned his head and kissed your lips once, twice, three times. Until you were giggling and crying.

“Oh honey.” He groaned as he leant back and looked at you. “You’re glowing.” He laughed in disbelief at how much the baby had grown, the last time he saw you, your belly was barely visible.

You took his hand and smiled as you pressed it on the side of your belly.

He gazed down at it with a smile on his face and laughed. “I can’t believe it” he looked back up to you, “This is real.”

You laughed, “it is very real.”

He brought you in for a hug and held you, he pulled apart and kissed your lips before turning to the crowd and yelling at the top of his lungs, “I’m gonna be a daddy!”

You thought this was so sweet, he still didn’t even know what the baby was, and still was so excited to meet them.

“Roo” you shushed him and laughed, “Do you want to know what the baby is?”

He looked down as you and glued his hand right back on your belly, “Yes, tell me, honey. What is it?”

You smiled and stuck your hands in the window before grabbing the teddy bear and pulling it out.

His eyes filled with tears as he stared at the teddy bear in his dress blues, he took it gently in his hands and rubbed the fur with his thumbs. He noticed the picture pinned to his paw and looked closer.

His eyes widened and stared at the words printed on it that said, ‘I’m a boy!”

His eyes filled with tears as he stared at you with wide eyes and slack jaw. “Really? A boy?” He started to laugh and smile.

You nodded and wiped the tear from under your eye and laughed, “Yeah, we’re having a boy.”

He scooped you up and kissed your cheek then your neck then lips.

“Oh my god!” He laughed and couldn’t stop smiling. “A boy! I’m a boy daddy!”

All you could do was smile and watched as he laughed and kept trying to wrap his head around it. He bent down and pressed his hands to the side of your belly and pressed his lips to the middle of it.

“I can’t wait to meet you, baby Bradshaw.”

-

Couple months later

“I’m so ready to get this baby out.” You said as you bounced on the yoga ball that your doctor had recommended.

Bradley watched you with a smile on his face, he stood up and walked over to you, “I have a good idea how we can.” He smirked down at you as you stopped your bouncing.

He grabbed your hand and lifted you up and led you to your shared bedroom. You laughed as he kissed your neck and moved your hair to the side.

“Bradley” you laughed and grabbed his face, “What are you doing?”

“Gettin this baby out, honey.” He smiled as he laid you down gently on the bed, he stood up and admired you with a sigh. “I love this version of you but I’m ready to meet baby Bradshaw.”

“Me too.” You reached for him and he hovered over you, you stared into his eyes as his big hands ran up your shirt and groped your boobs.

“I love these.” He kissed your jaw and sucked on your neck.

You bit back a whimper as his hands removed your shirt and laid you down on your back.

He took his shirt off, swiftly, and came back down to kiss your lips.

You pushed him back by your shoulders, “Do you want me to give you head?”

He scrambled up and nodded as he grabbed a pillow and placed it on the floor for your knees.

You laughed as he helped you kneel and undid his pants and dropped his jeans.

You palmed his hard dick and licked it through his boxers. He sucked in a breath as he watched you locate his tip and suck on it through the fabric.

You looked up at him as you tugged down his boxers and watched as his dick sprang out.

You immediately wrapped a hand around his length and kitten licked the precum off of it.

“Shit, baby.” He laced his fingers through the hair on your scalp and let you set your own pace. You took his tip in your mouth and swirled your tongue around it. He groaned and watched as you took his length in your mouth.

“Fuck, Y/n.” He watched as you bobbed your head and pressed your tongue into the underside of his cock.

You placed your hand on his thigh and the other on his balls, he cursed as you made this move.

“Fuck, you look so hot sucking my dick. Let me fuck you.” He rubbed his thumb on your cheek and looked you in your eyes, “Please.”

You smiled and released him from your mouth, he helped you up and laughed when you couldn’t get up by yourself.

He laid you don’t on the bed and kissed your neck while he tugged down your panties.

You spread your legs and watched as he lined up with your entrance, not before making sure you were wet enough.

Bradley groaned as he slipped into you with ease and your slick dripped down his balls.

“Fuck.” You looked up at him with a slack jaw.

“God you’re so hot, pregnant with my baby.”

You whimpered as he rubbed the side of your belly and started slow thrusts, making a soft clapping noise.

“Fuck, Roo.” You scratched his back as he quickened his pace and grabbed your boob. You always loved how vocal he was in bed and how quick it got you off.

“Turn me over.” He obeyed and gently flipped you over, watching your belly.

He lined back up and slammed into you, making you cry out and grip onto the sheets tightly. With one hand on your belly and the other on your hip, he quickened his pace until he could hear his balls smacking your ass and you moaning.

“Fuck! Right there!” You threw your head back and cried. With every thrust your moans broke as you gasped and his fat dick kept hitting that sweet spot inside of you.

“Fuck, you’re so tight.” He slapped your ass and his hand went right back to your belly, “and sexy.”

Your whole body began to shake as you felt hot, beads of sweat appeared on your forehead.

“Fuck! I’m gonna cum!” You sobbed as he kept his hard pace on hitting your g spot.

You listened as he groaned and you sobbed as your high took over your entire body and his warm cum shot inside of you.

Your thighs shook as you tried to hold yourself up, he pulled out of you and watched as his cum leaked down your thighs and dripped onto the white bedsheets.

“Fuck you’re so pretty.” He took his thumb and swiped it.

He helped you lay down as he grabbed his shirt and cleaned you up, he laid down beside you and pulled you into his chest and brought the sheets up to your bare breast.

“Let’s see if baby Bradshaw comes to say hello.” You laughed as your head shook against his chest due to his laughter.

—————————————————————

[alicerosejensen]

Together forever pt.3

Warning: Yandere!leon; kidnapping, forced cohabitation, stalkering, fem/reader, age difference, pet names.

A/N: I wrote this earlier, but I will repeat it again so that there are no complaints: I do not approve of this in real life. What is written here is simply fiction, if you have any psychological trauma associated with this or do not like such content then DO NOT READ!

Part 1

Part 2

He really didn’t want to resort to force, but you simply left him no choice...

Flashback to weeks earlier, when you weren't yet under his protection, Leon was analyzing everything about his sweet angel. Well, ultimately, carrying your once again unconscious body back to bed, of course, the last thing he wanted was for you to get injured, but you never know what stupid thoughts could come to your mind after waking up again, so putting you into bed, he pulled out the handcuffs and chained your hand to the headboard of the bed. Not very comfortable but you can sleep.

Don't get him wrong, he doesn't want to keep you on a leash like a dog at all, but Leon has noticed for a long time that you are in constant danger. Back in that dusty archive, when you reached for another folder, the laces on your worn sneakers were untied. Darling, you don't know how to tie your shoelaces at all! He immediately thought that you could have fallen and broken your neck or any other bone, you could even have died by your own negligence! It's good that Agent Kennedy was around, right?

Looking at how you sleep and your eyelids twitch in your sleep, Leon threw the blanket back over you. He knows that your sleep is restless, in fact, he almost knows about nightmares, but you didn't need to be afraid anymore. Nevertheless, Leon was well aware that a sudden change of situation and getting used to the new rules that he created to protect you would be stressful for some time. However, it was still better than wandering through dark unsafe alleys alone on the way home, drinking drinks in cheap bars with your friends who didn't even bother to call you a taxi. Leon doesn't know who to thank for the fact that you're still alive and haven't been raped by some asshole who would break your whole life. Despite the fact that the DSO pays its people well, this rather applies to agents and various informants who risk their lives, but small archivists like you do not interest them at all. Therefore, his angel could not afford a nice apartment in a decent neighborhood without bastards and drug dealers who would gladly get you hooked on some trash. The door of your apartment was indecently easy to open Leon would have done it without a lock pick without any problems, but he didn't want to scare you, however…

It is now his house completely at your disposal. The refrigerator is filled with high-quality products and not cheap instant noodles whose packages were lying in your trash. Money was really tight, wasn't it? A mug with a touch of tea or coffee that for some reason you didn't want to wash well, an unmade bed with your smell that he liked to inhale so much. The moment he plopped down on your bed, the desire to hold you in his arms just took root in him.

He wanted your scent to sink deep into him, to penetrate into every cell of his body. He just needed to possess you. That's why Leon couldn't wait, especially since you never let him become anything closer than just a colleague with whom you chatted during lunch. At some point, knowing where you live, he even came up with the idea that you were really offended, but there was nothing about it from your correspondence or medical records. Like you just liked being alone.

He was watching you to keep you safe. He walked you home ready to become a savior at any moment, it's not the first time he's saved a lady in trouble, despite the fact that you weren't actually that lady. Not according to Leon. Sometimes he came to your apartment and leafed through your books that he didn't like, but he didn't judge. He was taught to be quiet and inconspicuous, so it was extremely difficult to understand about someone else's presence. The only thing that really started to bother you is that things sometimes rearrange themselves and the old traces of coffee on your favorite mug magically disappeared. Robberies were not uncommon in this troubled area, but the only valuable things in your apartment were a laptop and a game console. Actually, it was important for Leon to know about all your preferences!

Now it was all in the past. You're safe here with him, away from all the shit that can hurt you. And in fact, you no longer need to worry about bills and how to live until the next paycheck. Leon doesn't consider himself a psycho when he lies down next to you, inhaling the scent of your body, pulling you to him, kissing your temple. After all, if you want, he will become the hero of those stupid books for you.

"I will definitely take care of you," he whispers, making you shudder in your sleep after hearing this insinuating voice that leaves no chance of salvation.

💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙💙

Your resistance is really annoying. You are still sitting handcuffed to the bed and there are already bloody marks on your wrist from the skin erased into blood after a steady twitching of your hand.

"I just need to dress you up," Leon says in a calm voice, while his patience still allows him to hold in his hands cute clothes for his angel.

Skirt, tights, and a warm sweater. Of course it's warm at home, but he wants to be sure that you have everything you need. That's just you kicking, yelling at him and crying incessantly ignoring the pain in your wrist.

"Baby, don't make me use force. Enough of this moaning!"

"Let me go!" you shout on the verge of pulling the hated handcuffs even without looking at him. Over the past two days, hysteria has been covering you with your head constantly not allowing you to think clearly.

Leon sighs. In any case, he doesn't want to stuff you with drugs anymore, and then what he was trained as an agent comes into play. He needs to break the will of the enemy or rather his beloved. He didn't want to take emergency measures, but you just forced him. He comes up to you squatting down and takes your face by the chin, forcing you to look into his cold eyes. The prepared clothes fly to a chair that is too far from the bed to reach it, but it doesn't matter anymore.

"To be honest, I didn't think that you would calmly react to the move," you were outraged when you heard his words

"Moving in with you?!" you cry out. Tears are spurting from eyes. "Since when is kidnapping suddenly called moving?! I'm not a stray animal for you to just pick me up and stab me in the neck with various rubbish!"

"I could have been slower, but you just left me no choice. Seriously, I could no longer watch you live in that anthill and spend 10 hours in a dusty room earning yourself asthma. Although considering your problems with shoelaces, I would bet that you would have killed yourself earlier by falling off a stepladder or would have been crushed by one of those huge boxes with folders."

“what?.." a guess flashes through your head.

Of course, he could probably somehow get a dossier on you and find out the address of your residence, but… rearranged things, a mug… Did he break into your apartment? You've heard that Leon was one of the best. Patrick even once mentioned that the president himself constantly praised Leon and his services to the country could not be called insignificant. There are many successfully completed missions behind him, but you have never really cared about it. At least until you yourself become one of these successful missions.

"Your poor stomach won't thank you for stuffing it with these disgusting noodles and chocolate. You need to eat right, honey," his words make you angry "You need a proper daily routine, good sleep, fresh air and balanced nutrition. I can provide you with all this, but you only need to be my good girl."

Leon's hands grab you by the face and his forehead presses against yours when he closes his eyes, stroking your cheeks wet with tears with his thumb, then briefly and gently kissing your lips, which is why you try to turn away from him.

"Heal your head!" another shout and insult. "As an agent, you're probably supposed to have some fancy psychiatrist or psychologist!"

"It's true," he easily agrees, biting his lip and getting back on his feet. It still didn't work out in a good way to solve the issue "One way or another, you will obey me. I just wanted us to come to this without unnecessary conflict and tantrums, but if you like it more, then fine. Sit alone for a couple of days without food and water. And I'll come back later and you'll tell me about your decision."

"Wait!" You called out to him almost at the door when he had already turned the handle. Leon turned in anticipation of your words and probably there was still a glimmer of hope in him that you would accept his love right now without radical decisions. "You can't keep me here! My family and at work will be looking for me. No one will believe that I just disappeared!"

Leon only grinned briefly.

"Oh, sweetheart. People disappear every day and believe me, many don't care about them, and as for your family, they could take better care of you, but if they didn't, then this care falls on my shoulders"

The hope that it was just a way of intimidation for further submission glowed deep in your chest. No matter how much the soul did not want it, the brain still suggested that Leon was never the one for whom he could be mistaken. The sound of his footsteps quickly subsided and occasionally you could catch some rustling and knocking on the ground floor. Didn't want to know what Kennedy was doing there, but fear kept throwing up ideas about some sadistic torture room and the fact that he wanted you to forcibly become his girlfriend made you suspect of possible sexual abuse after which it would be impossible to become the same.

And yet the wounded deer jumps higher, fights more desperately. You tried to somehow take off your handcuffs, and to be honest with yourself, your hand was really hurting mercilessly that you wanted to howl. It will be quite difficult without an analgesic. The search for some kind of paper clip, an accidentally lying nail under the bed or something with which you could unlock the lock was not successful. However, you didn't have the hacking skill either, and the handcuffs definitely weren't from some sex shop. Steel bites into the skin until it bleeds, and it would be worth listening to Leon though in this: no need to make sudden movements. Moreover, there are already enough bloodstains on the bed linen, but you were so absorbed in despair that the brain simply ignored part of the pain, but very soon it will be very hard.

Add to that the fact that Leon decided to starve you.

At first, everything was even tolerable. The stomach began to cramp from hunger only in the evening add to this the fact that you are being kept locked up handcuffed to the bed makes your body exhausted. You cried for several hours, but Leon's mercy did not descend to you. It really wasn't a prank and he kidnapped you for his own purposes, which you didn't want to know anything about.

"Leon?.." is quieter than you wanted, you called him again.

It all seemed like a nightmare. Time dragged on so slowly that it was unbearable and scary from the unknown. You were hoping that Leon had made a mistake somewhere and the police would find you very soon, the main thing at this moment is to stay alive and not dead because you definitely won't be able to win by force against a government agent who has undergone professional training and completed many successful missions. When your nerves calmed down a little, you started thinking about how to deceive him. It may not be possible to escape, but send an SMS or make a call to the rescue service. You've heard these stories when a girl called under some pretext and was rescued, but will Leon trust you with the phone?

Later you heard footsteps. Probably Leon was listening to the sounds that you could make, but you were silent, looking at the door with the eyes of a frightened doe. However, nothing happened.

He's probably gone.

The throat was dry. You tightly squeezed your eyes shut trying to calm your breathing and come up with a plan of action. If hunger helped at first, then as time went on, the thought of food and water constantly stirred your thoughts.

there was one maddening silence around. Your wrist began to itch and throb painfully, the blood clotted, but at the slightest movement it began to bleed. It got dark outside again and it started to get cold. You carefully crawled under the blanket, covering your frozen feet with it, trying not to think about the desired water, especially since you had of blood loss. How long can you live without water? 3 days? 4 maybe 5 days?

"Please?" you whispered softly, starting to cry again and giving in to panic. "Leon?"

You needed painkillers. It was a bad idea to actively pull with your hand, but people often do what is not necessary when they panic and you had enough reasons to worry, but in the end there was no point in protesting. Not when you are on someone else's territory under the power of a physically strong person. And yet, most of you wanted to scream and scream, beat him and fight, and not invent plans to escape and naively rely on his mercy, which probably does not exist.

"Leon!" you called again louder in a plaintive voice, licking your dry lips. "Please… at least give me some water."

Drugs and stress perfectly lead to dehydration. Especially the first one considering that you were sick earlier. But Leon was still deaf to the pleas, it was generally quiet downstairs. Maybe he was already asleep?

By nightfall, the condition only worsened. You wrist was swollen and even the slightest movement caused hellish pain, throat was dry and your stomach hurt wildly that it began to seem that he began to digest himself. Maybe agents can safely endure such trials with dignity, but again, you have never been interested in this. You didn't even have the strength to cry.

Actually, it didn't take him two days because his heart was just bursting with pity for you.

Leon looked at you with such a puppy-dog look when you were sitting on the bed with your head bowed and trembling. Well, one day would be enough for his princess, and he sincerely hoped that this punishment would be more than enough.

Click.

You shuddered from another flash of pain and when you opened your eyes, you shuddered with fright when you came face to face with him again.

However, the handcuffs were removed.

"poor girl, I really didn't want anything," he threw the handcuffs on the bedside table, "But sometimes we have to do things that we don't like, right? if you hadn't screamed, things wouldn't be so bad right now and your arm wouldn't be swollen."

He stretched out his arms to lift you up, but noticed another resistance when your tired body moved away from him, which made Leon look at you with a threatening look again.

"Do you want to sit like this for another day?"

You nodded your head negatively and out of fear allowed him to lift you up to lower you to the first floor.

"Give me some water, please…" by God, this was the only thought in head

"Be patient angel" Leon's lips touched your temple when he put you on the sofa.

The glass of water handed to you turned out to be so desirable that it seemed you were a traveler lost in the desert who found an oasis. And yet Leon didn't limit you to one glass, allowing you to drink as much as you need, BUT in small sips. Given the thirst, you ignored his words and eventually choked, starting to cough while covering your face with your hand. Of course he didn't like it.

"Sure it's my fault, but you have to listen to me!" An irritated male voice made you shrink and look at him with those cute eyes that Leon loves and hates so much because you are afraid of him.

He put the first aid kit next to the table and took your wrist carefully, first examining the deep abrasion. You screamed loudly when Leon treated her with a disinfectant solution and then wrapped her in a bandage. having previously smeared some ointment, but it did not hurt less from this. And then he kissed you on the forehead like a brave child for whom it was a feat to endure such a thing.

"What do you want from me anyway?" you asked, afraid of the answer anyway, because your presence here did not bode well. "I didn't do anything wrong to you"

"I didn't say you did anything to me. I just want to take care and keep the one I love safe. In this case, it's you."

"Me?"

"Exactly," he smiled, sitting closer, "I wanted everything to be like everyone else, but you didn't give me a chance. Good for Patrick, too. And yet, to see how you walk everywhere where there is a potential danger… I just couldn't, Princess. I just couldn't take it anymore. But now I promise that I will take care of you and I know you better than you know yourself! Just leave all the tantrums of the fight. No more bumps or bites. I'm serious!"

Yes, there was a good mark of your teeth on his hand.

Although you didn't smile and were actually horrified by the human diversity, one thing was clear for sure even through fear - he wasn't going to kill you or…rape. The latter is not accurate, but the soul hoped for it.

"Just let's do it in order." You reluctantly nodded knowing that you have no choice "First we will put you in order, I will make you a bath and you wash, then you will eat and we will have a good rest and in the morning I will tell you about the rules with a fresh head. I will give you everything you want: books, clothes, cosmetics, whatever you want, but in return, no resistance, okay?!" Leon's hand stroked your tangled hair and at the same time pulled you closer to him against your will, but even despite a little resistance, he pressed you to his chest. "I won't be in a hurry. We will go slowly, there is no need to be afraid for me, the main thing is your safety, and there will be time for the rest"

And hear the joyful beating of his heart, you hoped only that you would have enough time to find help or escape, but for now… you may have to be not an obedient but a cunning girl, otherwise the consequences can be fatal.

For now, you need to wait for the moment and find its weaknesses.

[sooniebby]

If requests are still open, can I ask for somno/breeding kink with Beam from chainsaw man, with him just passing out on top of male reader after he finishes, basically just cuddling subconsciously. Love your work btw, they’re fun to read. If my request needs more description, I’ll try again

ఌ 𝐁𝐄𝐀𝐌

꧁ 𝘽𝙚𝙖𝙢 𝙭 𝙢𝙖𝙡𝙚 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧 ꧂

Word count › 1.4k

Rating › NSFT

Warnings › beam dumb

Kinks › breeding, light somno

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＢＥＧＩＮＮＩＮＧ

(Name) wanted to jump off a bridge. He knew what he was getting into dating someone as idiotic as Beam but he truly didn’t believe it could get so bad. Yet here he was, having to wait for Beam to wash off the cow shit he was drenched in. 

How did this happen? He wasn’t sure. Denji had come up with some elaborate reason why but (Name) had decided to just deal with him later. He groaned to himself as he slipped out of his work clothes, ready to pull on his pjs when Beam opened the bathroom door. 

A grin spread on his lips, “(Name), are we about to have sex?!” 

“No.” (Name) said, throwing his work pants at Beam’s face. He was way too angry to have any sort of sexual activity with the man that was just covered in cow shit. 

“Why not?!” Beam whined, walking over to (Name) with a pout on his lips. If he had human eyes, maybe he would’ve tried to use puppy dog eyes on him. 

“You rolled in cow shit.” 

“But I showered…” 

“No.” 

A huff left Beam’s throat as he sat down on the bed. He was silently sulking as (Name) continued to change. Ever since the first time they had sex, Beam was very into it. He always asked in the worst way possible for it but (Name) was used to that. 

“(Name)….” 

“No. Sleep.” 

Beam sighed but did as he was told, moving to lay down in his spot. (Name) turned off the lights and laid down on the bed, ready for a good nights rest after a stressful day of cow shit. 

It was only maybe an hour or so when (Name) felt something rub against his ass cheeks. 

Oh he wanted to jump off a roof. 

Beam was rubbing his naked (!!!) cock against his ass. 

Wait, his shorts were down. 

The absolute pervert pulled his pants down. (Name) was wondering what he should use to kill Beam but stopped himself. They had talked about something like this once—saying that it should be done randomly. But really? He chose today? 

The day cow shit touched his body?! 

Ew. (Name) tried not to think about the cow shit as he heard the stuttered breathing of Beam as he began to thrust between his ass cheeks. It was a bit flattering that Beam was using him as a masturbation tool, really. 

But he’d never tell Beam that unless he wanted him to get more annoying. 

Beam muttered something before easily pulling (Name)’s body closer, earning a grunt from him. He didn’t move for a second, seeing if (Name) was awake before continuing. The skin against each other was a bit harsh and it seemed Beam had noticed because he stopped. 

(Name) felt the blankets be pulled away to free his lower half, the cold air on his skin. He waited for any type of lube to touch his body only to hear the sound of someone spitting. 

No. 

No. 

WHAT THE FUCK?! 

(Name) wanted to cry. No fucking way that he used spit instead of the fucking lube in the nightstand right beside him. Did he forget?! How was the spit supposed to substitute for lube? 

He couldn’t just let this idiot continue. What if he tried to shove it in his poor asshole and he’d bleed to death?! 

“Beam.” 

“Sorry!” 

(Name) turned around to face Beam who looked embarrassed. “It’s fine. But don’t use your spit. Use lube next time.” He said, pointing over to the nightstand on Beam’s side. Beam nodded and grabbed the lube, handing it over to him. 

“So I can do it again just with lube…?” 

“Yeah, sure.” (Name) muttered, easily coating his fingers and shoving them inside. It was pretty easy to do—he no longer felt embarrassed in front of Beam either. Beam watched with amazement as he easily slipped his fingers in and out. 

“(Name), you’re almost on the same level as Lord Chainsaw!” 

“Bring up Denji again during sex and I’ll never let you fuck me again.” 

“Sorry.” 

(Name) hummed and motioned for him to get between his legs. Beam’s previous sad look was gone in a minute as he quickly went to the spot he had once called his ‘destiny’. Or whatever bullshit he spouts during sex. 

He kinda just says whatever on his mind. (Name) slipped out his fingers and laid down, using two fingers to spread open his hole. Beam grinned in excitement, grabbing (Name)’s legs and pushing them upward. 

“Thank you, (Name).” 

“I’m not a meal—hurry up.” 

“Right!” 

One quick thrust and he was inside. (Name) arched his back as he cried out in pleasure. He would never admit it out loud but he really believed Beam was pretty good at sex despite being so innocent otherwise. 

Maybe it was because (Name) really only had one partner before him. Or it’s that Beam’s much larger cock did most of the work. It didn’t matter really. 

“(Name).” 

“Hmm?” 

“Lord Chainsaw taught me something about sex.” 

(Name) wanted to kick Beam off of him but it was a bit hard with the strength the man had on his legs. He simply grunted in disappointment but continued to enjoy the steady thrusting inside his hole. 

“Did you ever think about me cumming inside?” 

“Hng?!” (Name) gasped at a the sudden drag against his prostate. He had never really did. Beam usually pulled out but (Name) had never told him to. It was just something he did. 

What would cum feel like inside…? 

“He told me we can make babies that way,” Beam grinned. “That’s a good idea, right?” 

(Name) was going to murder Denji after this. He could only whimper as Beam continued to push forward, folding (Name) into a mating press. This was a position they tried once and only once because (Name) complained he wasn’t flexible enough for it. 

He still wasn’t but he couldn’t exactly stop him. 

He was enjoying it. His cock was reaching in deeper than most of the other positions and no way in hell would he gave it up. The pleasure he felt was so different than anything else. 

His toes curled as he threw his head back, mouth opened in a silent scream. Their neighbours would surely talk to them in the morning about late night sex. The sound of the headboard against the wall would certainly bother them. 

To (Name), it was only edging him further. Each thrust into his body caused him to clench down on Beam’s cock. Beam himself was grunting at the pressure, muttering on about the supposed children (Name) would give him. 

Yeah, Denji was going to die tomorrow. 

(Name) wrapped his arms around Beam’s neck and gave him a small smile. “You can cum inside.” He whispered, gasping at a particular deep drag on his prostate. 

“Okay, okay. We’ll become a family this way, yeah?” 

“Sure, sure…” (Name) muttered, feeling himself close. 

Beam seemed close by the way his thrusting became unsteady. His usual rhythm that he had was gone and all he seemed to want was to chase his release. (Name)’s pleasure didn’t matter to him much right now. 

(Name) was close himself, biting his lip to stop the moans that’ll stream out of his mouth from the harsh thrusting. It took really only three more thrusts when Beam muttered something about being a good father. 

(Name) ignored it and whispered out words of encouragement for him to cum. 

One last thrust that somehow ended right at his prostate. (Name) arched his back and cummed on his stomach, a moan slipping from his lips. Beam was right behind him, cumming deep inside him. 

The feeling of the warm cum inside him made (Name) shivered. He could get addicted to this. His legs certainly hurt though as he tried to push Beam off of him. Only to realise that the damn fool was fast asleep. 

(Name) groaned at the much heavier body on top of him. Yeah, no way could he push him off. He sighed but decided to get comfortable. It was weird to still have Beam’s cock inside him but he kinda liked it. 

The feeling of cum slipping out of him though was bothering him. It was going to be hard to clean himself out in the morning. 

“Night, Beam..” (Name) muttered, smiling at him as he burrowed his head on his shoulder. The two cuddled for the night, enjoying the warmth of the other. 

While Denji in his own apartment sneezed violently. Why was he suddenly scared for tomorrow…? 

╭┈─────── ೄྀ࿐ ˊˎ-

╰┈─➤ ＥＮＤ

First ever Beam fic!! I’m trying new things with my writing lol—mainly small jokes in smut

Requests are open!! Yubin fic tomorrow <3

[javiscigarette]

Sweet Dreams

Javier Peña x f!reader

Summary: You find Javi awake in the middle of the night and help him fall asleep :)

Warnings: 18+ (minors DNI) no use of y/n, dirty talk, oral sex (m receiving), fingering, unprotected sex, rough sex, spitting, light spanking, cum play, hair pulling, just a dash of degradation, probably more this is literally just straight up absolutely filthy smut with a microscopic speck of plot. Kinda soft!Javi, lots of use of the nickname princesa and baby

Word count: 6.4k hahaha

A/N: This whole thing is based on this gif. I'm down so horrendously bad for this man I can't keep living like this.

You wake up in the middle of the night to an empty bed.

A couple of hours ago you had fallen asleep with his arms wrapped tightly around you with your back to his chest, his face tucked into the space between your neck and shoulder, his steady breathing warm against your skin.

And now all you felt was the cool breeze coming in from the open balcony door. You roll over and squint, trying to focus your tired eyes. You can make out Javi’s silhouette sitting on the couch out on balcony and can smell the cigarette smoke wafting into the bedroom.

Well that just wont do.

No other thoughts cross your mind before you wrap yourself up in the fluffy blanket and stand up. It’s like your body is a magnet to Javi, needing to be as close to him as possible at all times. You’re still half asleep and your legs feel like jello as you stumble out onto the balcony.

Javi immediately turns to you, his concerned puppy dog eyes looking at you.

“What are you doin up, princesa” Javi asks with a frown.

He’s shirtless, sitting there on the couch in only his boxers. He’s definitely a sight for your sore eyes.

“Could ask you the same”

Your voice still thick with sleep as you sit next to him on the couch and his arm immediately wraps around your shoulder, pulling you close to him.

“Couldn’t sleep” Javi says plainly before taking a deep puff from the cigarette that’s dangling between his index and middle finger.

You don’t say anything in response but let the soft noise from the city below fill the silence instead.

It’s a very rare occasion when Javi wants to talk about the baggage he takes home from work, he often tells you that being with you is healing enough. But finding him in the middle of the night on the living room couch or balcony with a cigarette tucked between his lips as he nurses a bottle of whiskey is not a rare occasion.

Sometimes you can pull it out of him, get him to open up about the shit that’s weighing him down. But you know that it’s not the time for that right now and you’re too tired to hold an actual conversation right now anyway.

You yawn and move to lay down, your head resting in his lap with your legs stretched out on the rest of the couch and your blanket pulled up to your chin.

He automatically snakes a hand under the blanket until he finds the warm, bare skin of your shoulder. He rests his hand there, drawing soft patterns on your skin with his thumb while his other arm stretches out on the back of the couch. You fall back asleep almost instantly, Javi’s light touch lulling you back

He sits here for awhile, concentrating on the feeling the rise and fall of your body under his hand on your shoulder. His mind is finally starting to go blank, the weight of your body against his washing away the events of the day. Having you close always soothed him. Something about you just put him at ease. The whiskey and cigarettes couldn’t hold a light to the way you clear his mind.

He picks up the glass of whiskey on the side table, gulping down the rest of it and setting it back down before bringing his cigarette up to his lips, taking another long drag.

He looks down at your head in is lap. You’re facing him, giving him a perfect view of your relaxed and peaceful face as you sleep. His heart swells a bit when he realizes that he can feel your warm breath on his bare thigh with your every deep exhale.

Softly, as to not wake you, he brings his hand from your shoulder to your face, softly running his thumb over your cheekbone.

“So pretty” He whispers.

Your eyelashes flutter open just slightly and he shushes you softly, tracing a feather light finger along your jaw. He can never keep his hands off of you. He has to always be touching you in some way as if your a tether to the Earth and if he let go he would fly away.

You snuggle your face further into his thigh and In less than a minute, your breathing slows down again, your breaths becoming heavier and deeper.

Your cheek is pressed against the soft skin of his bare thigh, squishing your mouth so it hangs open slightly. He can’t stop himself as he moves his thumb to rest on your lower lip, rubbing it with the pad of his thumb ever so slightly.

To his amazement, your lips automatically close around the tip of his thumb. His cock twitches in his boxers, seeing you so accepting, so willing to take anything he gives you even in your sleep. He slides his thumb in further, pressing against your tongue until your warm lips are wrapped around his first knuckle. He groans quietly when he feels you starting to suckle his thumb, another wave of arousal washing over him.

He sits there quietly with his palm resting in your cheek and his thumb tucked between your lips, watching fondly as you suck on it gently in your sleep.

You’re stuck somewhere halfway between sleep and consciousness. You know he’s getting needy. he was always needy around you and you want to stay awake and please him. But you can’t stop yourself from drifting in and out of sleep with the comforting touch of Javi’s hand on your cheek as you gently suck on his thumb. The faint scent of his body wash he used in the shower you two shared hours ago mixing with the cigarettes and whiskey and the smell that was so undeniably Javi made your head even fuzzier, definitely not helping your efforts in trying to stay awake.

You have no clue how much time passes before Javi’s sliding his thumb out of your mouth and smoothing it against your swollen bottom lip. You open your eyes at the loss, looking up at Javi through your eyelashes. He looks back down at you, his eyes soft and full of admiration.

“My sweet girl” he says quietly, barely loud enough to hear over the sounds of the city.

He hooks his wet thumb over your bottom lip, tugging down slightly until your jaw opens up a bit more. You know what he’s asking for. Your eyes flit down to his boxers and you can see the clear outline of his half hard cock through the thin material of his boxers.

“Can use me” you say mumble, the sleep in voice causing you to slur your words before you close your eyes again.

You hear Javi curse quietly above you before he starts to reposition himself, trying his absolute hardest not to jostle you around. He manages to push his boxers down slightly, just enough to get his cock out.

Your eyes are still closed when you feel his wet, hot tip press gently against your lip. You keep them closed as you open your jaw, giving him silent permission to slide in.

He keeps just the tip in your mouth for now, sighing heavily when you start to lick the precum from head. He leans to the side to drop his cigarette into the ashtray resting in the side table before resting his hand on your cheek again. He can feel his tip press against his palm through your cheek every so often and it drives him crazy.

He sighs again once you let him push his cock further into your mouth, taking him as deep as you could at this angle.

“Shit baby” Javi’s groans, letting his head drop on the back of the couch.

He’s now fully hard, fighting every urge not to buck his hips up and shove his cock down your throat like he normally does. He wants to stay in this moment as long as he could, savoring they way you’re nearly asleep but still so willing to take him. His efforts are thwarted when he looks down at you, your face sleepy and peaceful with you wet lips wrapped so perfectly around him.

“So fuckin pretty like this” he sighs, his thumb brushing your cheek.

Javi’s was hot and heavy in your mouth, twitching every time you hollowed your cheeks and sucked on him. Fat drops of precum leaked out on your tongue which you eagerly swallowed, causing his thighs to tremble under your head.

His praise and breathy sighs and quiet broken moans send shivers down your spine, straight to your core.

You absolutely craved Javi like this, using you to get off, letting him find solace in your body. You’re so eager to please him, to draw out those shaky gasps and moans, that he barely has to ask anymore. His palm on your thigh or a squeeze around your waist was enough to turn you to putty in his hands. And you always got something in return. That was part of the reason you submitted so easily. After you make him cum, he’d immediately crawl between your legs, licking you and sucking you down, returning the favor 10 fold until your crashing down from your third orgasm in a row, absolutely begging him for a break.

Spit starts to leak out of your corner of your mouth and Javi grunts above you when he feels it dribble down his cock and onto his thigh. He moves his thumb to wipe up some of it, spreading it against your lips that are wrapped tightly around him.

He slowly rolls his hips up, testing the waters to see if you’d let him go further. Of course you allow it, tilting your head so there’s more room to fit him down your throat.

“My sweet girl, takin’ me so well” he rasps.

You’re starting to genuinely choke on him, his girth making your jaw ache but you don’t care. Not one bit. He keeps his pace slow, but he goes deeper every time. He drops his other to the back of your head, holding you in place for a few seconds every time he stuffs himself down your throat. He groans when he feels you gag, trying to swallow around him, the sensation sending tingles up to his scalp and down to his toes.

Your eyes are still closed, but tears are starting to leak out of the corners as he slowly fucks your throat. You were starting to get as needy as him. You always did when he filled your mouth up like this.

You start pressing your thighs together, trying to create any bit of friction. Javi of course notices immediately. No movement of yours goes unnoticed when he’s around.

“You gettin needy baby?” He coos at you, a devilish smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

You open your eyes and look up at him, more tears falling falling down your face. You moan in response and he slides even further down your throat and holds you in place for a few seconds before letting up, allowing you to take a deep breath before he’s sliding in again.

His hand leaves your face, his palm warm and heavy as he slides it over your shoulder and down your side until he finds his way in between your thighs.

You let out a long whine when you feel two of his fingers press against your bare slit. He started the night in bed with you so he knows you’re naked. And at this point of your relationship, he takes you in the middle of the night more often than not so you decided to skip putting on pjs since you often found them on the floor anyway when you woke in the morning.

But it still take his breath away, your wet cunt exposed and ready for him to use whenever he pleases.

“Oh angel” he sighs, gliding a finger through your soaked folds. The sensation sends tingles up your spine, making you whine around him.

“Makin’ a mess and I haven’t even touched you yet. You love suckin my cock that much?”

You let out a long moan, the sound muffled by his cock still pumping in and out your throat. You try to grind down into his touch, which he responds to with an amused chuckle.

“So good, baby. So sweet and wet for me”

He feels your cunt clench and more slick drip out of you every time he talks. His words get filthy when he’s taking you like this. He’s normally fairly quiet, opting to brood silently rather than have any sort of conversation. But you draw it out of him so effortlessly it’s like he has no control over what comes out of his mouth and he clearly knows how much it gets to you.

He continues to glide two fingers through you slick heat, his cock starting to twitch in your mouth even more before he slowly plunges one deep inside of you.

Your eyes widen and you look up at him again and he’s smiling down at you, his cock pushing your loud moan back down your throat. He starts to pump his finger in and out of you, his pace matching the slow roll of his hips.

“Oh you really like having me down your throat, don’t you angel” he says when he feels you squeeze around his finger.

You thoughts are muddy and your skin feels so hot and all you can do is take him down your throat while you flutter around his finger. He knows one finger isn’t enough to get you off but you don’t dare to complain. You were for Javi to use right now and you’re going to let him use you however he pleases.

He keeps up the slow rhythm of fucking your throat while sliding his finger in and out of you. He’s almost never this slow with you, but it feels so good like this, seeing how long you can last. Your jaw is trembling now from staying for so long, spit sliding past your lips and down your chin and and neck your thighs shaking as you resist the urge to clamp down around Javi’s hand. Warm waves of arousal flood his senses every time he slips deeper into your throat. You were sound asleep not even half an hour ago and now you choking on Javi’s cock and leaking on his hand and down his fingers, being so submissive and he didn’t even have to say a single word.

His hips start to roll up faster as he gets caught up in how perfect you are, letting him use you however he wants, willing to do anything for him.

“My good girl. You want my cum down your throat, princesa?” He hisses, staring down at you.

He’s getting close. You can hear it in his voice and the pants he lets out at his chest heaves up and down. The anticipation of swallowing his hot seed is making you moan nonstop around him, the vibrations of your throat around him making him clench his jaw as he sucks in air through his teeth.

He tangles the hand that’s not inside you tightly in your hair as he starts to thrust faster into your mouth. You can feel his legs start to shake under your head, his grunts and gasps getting louder with every thrust. He sneakily adds a second finger in your cunt and he picks up the pace of fucking his fingers into you too.

“I know baby. I know you do. M’gonna cum and you’re gonna swallow every drop aren’t you, princesa” he rasps

It takes one, two, three more thrusts until he buries himself in your throat, pushing your head down until every inch of him is stuffed in your mouth as he cums down your throat. It’s so much. You’d probably slap any other man who tried to hold you down like that while he came. But something inside you is so innately in tune with him that you’d let him break you in anyway he pleases. You swallow his load happily, clenching around his two fingers as rope after rope of hot cum slides directly down your throat. Javi’s moaning at full volume now above you, not giving a single shit about the neighbors hearing him.

He gives one last push, sliding as far as he possible can down your throat before pulling back until just the tip rests in your mouth. He sighs loudly and you can just barely hear the quiet whimpers he lets out as aftershocks of his orgasm shoot through his body. He continues to slowly slide his fingers in and out of you as he catches his breath. You hum contentedly as he softens in your mouth, his breath hitching and body jolting every time you teasingly ran your tongue over his sensitive slit.

You finally release him from your mouth, a trail of spit connecting his tip to your tongue, which you lick up eagerly. He hisses at the cold air against his sensitive skin, already missing your mouth around him. Your mouth still hangs open, high pitched whines freely tumbling out every time Javi slides his fingers into you, his pace now slow and syrupy. You buck your hips, trying to grind your clit against the heel of his palm, trying to get him to speed up but he’s two steps ahead of you and removes his hand from you entirely before you can get any friction.

“Javiii” you whine desperately at the loss.

“Don’t be greedy, baby. Stay still and be grateful for what I give you.” Javi hisses, his voice dropping down an octave.

His words make your heart beat faster in your chest as you look up at him with wide eyes. His eyes are glued to yours as he brings his hand up to his face, sticking his two fingers that are practically dripping with your slick to his mouth. He immediately groans when he tastes you on his tongue, eyes rolling into the back of his head as he eagerly sucking down your juices. You let out a whimper and your cunt clenches around nothing as you watch him taste you. You’re well aware Javi loves to taste you but watching him moan and groan around his fingers as he tastes you drives you absolutely wild.

He opens and eyes and takes his fingers from his mouth. They’re now coated with his spit and your slick, shining in the soft glow of the city lights.

“Taste so fucking good, hermosa” He says, a lopsided smirk plastered on his face.

“Taste how sweet you are” he says before pushing his wet fingers into your mouth.

You moan lowly and your core pulses at the taste of the mixture of his spit and your juices on his fingers. He presses his two fingers against your tongue, pushing them back just slightly until you gag, spreading more of your own salvia around the two digits until they’re even wetter than they were before.

He then slips his fingers out of your mouth sliding them back into his mouth and Jesus Christ this man was going to be the death of you. His smirks even more at the desparte moan you let out as you watch him.

He release his finger from his mouth with low groan and a soft wet pop before returning his hand to your core, circling your leaking hole with his finger tips.

“You think you deserve to cum, baby?”

“Javi please, please I wa-“

You cut yourself off with a ragged moan when he thrusts his fingers into you, going deeper than before and curling up right against your g-spot as he immediately starts with a rapid pace. Hot waves of pleasure shoot up your spine and settled in your stomach each time his fingers hook against the spot that makes your eyes roll back in your skull.

“Yeah, I think you do baby. Sucked my cock so well, such a good girl for me” Javi says gruffly as he stares down at you, eyes trained on the faces your making.

You whimper and whine, bucking your hips up trying to get his fingers to go deeper.

“Love how wet this pretty pussy gets for me” Javi says almost to himself, groaning at the way you clench down around him.

“So fuckin tight too, huh? Only got two fingers in ya and can barely move ‘em”

Javi knows how much faster you cum when he’s talking this, how his filthy words hurtle you closer to the edge. You let out a loud moan which causes Javi to slap his free hand over your mouth.

“Be quiet, Princesa. You want the whole city knowing how slutty you are with my fingers in your tight cunt?”

Javi chuckles when you clench down so hard that you almost push his fingers out.

“Oh” Javi groans “you’d like that, wouldn’t you princesa? Letting everyone know how good I make you feel? You want them see how much of a slut you are, letting me fuck any of your holes whenever and wherever I want?”

Javi doesn’t break eye contact with you, watching as you writhe in his lap. The veins in your neck threaten to burst as you cry out his name, the sound muffled against his hand. Javi doesn’t make it any easier for you to be quiet. Instead, he slides his thumb through your drenched folds before circling your clit, just how you like it. You groan into his palm and twist your body in his lap as you feel your climax quickly building up in your stomach.

“You’re getting close, baby, I can feel it.”

You nod quickly, letting a short moan fall from between your lips. Javi’s hand is completely covering you mouth and his knuckles are pressing against your nostrils, leaving you heaving deeply for air. The pad of his thumb is still pressed into you clit, rubbing expert circles as he rubs his fingertips against your g-spot. You can feel yourself unraveling quickly. It comes a lot quicker than it would’ve if you hadn’t spent the last 15 minutes with Javi’s cock down your throat.

“Cum for me, princesa. Fucking soak my fingers like I know you want to” Javi growls.

You can’t take anymore. His voice, his words, his fingers buried in your cunt and his big hand blocking your breathing is too much. It all sends your flying off the edge. You cry out against Javi’s palm, your whole body trembling as you gush around his fingers, soaking his hand and wrist and the blanket under you. Javi groans as you fall apart and doesn’t stop pumping his fingers in and out of you until your whimpering, and clamping your thighs around his hand.

“Fuck baby. You so fucking pretty when you cum” Javi grunts, his chest heaving up and down as if he was the one who just came so hard he saw stars.

It takes a few moments for you to come down from your high, whimpering and jolting whenever Javi draws light circles on top of your sensitive clit. He slowly slides his fingers out of you, pulling his soaked hand out from under the blanket. He holds it up in front of your face, forcing you to look at how his whole hand and his wrist are covered in your juices.

He grins ear to ear and sticks his fingers in his mouth again, his eyes rolling back into his head again as his eyelids flutter close. He takes his time licking your release off of his fingers, savoring every sweet drop. When he finishes, he looks back down at you with the soft smile that’s reserved only for you.

“Come here, princesa” Javi commands softly.

He helps you sit up and you crawl to sit in his lap and drapes the blanket over your shoulders, shielding you from the cool breeze and wandering eyes before you collapse on his chest. He sighs at the intense heat of your body, his muscles quickly melting underneath you.

One of his big hands splays out against the bare skin of your back, holding you in place against him. You nuzzle your face into his neck, inhaling his scent as his soft brown locks tickle your face. You feel the cloth of his boxers growing wet pressed against your soaked core and you want to grind down on him, but the sleepiness hits you almost immediately, your eyelids growing heavy once again.

“Such a good girl, princesa. Just for me huh?” Javi whispers, making you smile as the scruff on his jaw tickling your cheek when he talks.

He lifts your chin with the fingers of his clean hand, silently asking you for a kiss. You sit up just enough to cup his face with both of your hands before pressing your lips softly against his. A small whimper tumbles out of your mouth and into his when you he licks into your mouth, your taste still heavy on his tongue. It’s a soft kiss, allowing you to relax into it, your lips warm wet lips gliding easily over his.

You pull back to take a breath and Javi smiles at you, soft and sweet.

You snuggle your face back into his neck, your eyes slipping closed once again. You feel him move around before you hear the click of his zippo and the soft crackling of his cigarette as his takes a long drag. You listen to his pulse slow down and his breathing even out as he finishes his cigarette, the nicotine quickly relaxing his body. You’re almost asleep again when he stubs out the cherry in the ash tray.

“Let’s get you back in bed”

He moves his hands to your ass and you wrap his arms around his neck, nuzzling your face back into his warm neck. He makes sure that the blanket is fully covering you before standing up. You wrap your legs around his waist, trusting him fully as he carries you back inside.

He gently lies you down on your back but you still cling to him, not letting him stand back up.

He chuckles lightly, moving to press a kiss to your jaw.

“I’m just gonna get a rag to clean us up” Javi says quietly, his voice muffled with his lips still pressed to your skin.

You sigh and unwrap your arms and legs from him. You roll over on to your stomach, squishing the side of your face into the cool silk pillowcase as you fold your arms under the pillow.

“Good girl”

He presses sweet kisses to your shoulder, lightly squeezing your ass before standing up.

He barely takes three steps before he hears you.

“Javiiiii” you whine, your heavy lidded eyes looking over your shoulder at him. He turns on his heel to look at you, worry and concern washing over him.

“What’s wrong, princesa?” He asks, padding back over to the edge of the bed and placing a soft hand on your shoulder.

“Still want you” you whine quietly, looking up at him through heavy eyelids.

“Oh baby” Javi coos, rubbing his hand over your soft, warm skin. “You swallow my cock and squirt all over my hand and your little pussy is still needy for me?”

“Need you to fill me up, Javi. Wanna stretch around you” you whine, slightly tilting your ass into the air. Javi smiles that soft smile, letting you know that he’ll take care of you and you let your eyes fall shut.

You feel his hand trail down your back until it meets his other one to palm your cheeks. You hum happily, delighted by the feeling of his big warm hands on you.

You feel the bed dip with Javi’s weight as he settles on his knees between your thighs. He gently pulls your cheeks apart, cool air rushing over your hot wet seam.

“Jesus Christ, princesa” Javi moans, the soft lighting in the bedroom finally allowing him to see how wet you are.

He spits softly above you, not that you need it at all but because he can. He watches intently as its drops from his lips and you moan into the pillow when you feel Javi’s spit slide down your crack and pool around your tight hole. His cock starts to quickly harden again in his boxers.

“Love all your perfect little holes, princesa” Javi grunts.

He runs his thumb through the mess between your thighs before circling your puckered hole. You gasp when he presses his the tip of his thumb into your tight hole, your body starting to tremble again.

“You want me to play with your little asshole baby?” Javi teases before letting more spit dribble out of his mouth and onto you, adding to the mess between your legs.

”Need you inside me Javi, wanna cum around you” you whine, your tight hole squeezing around Javi’s thumb as your cunt clenches around air.

He tucks the idea into his back pocket, saving of destroying your tight little hole for another day.

“You really need it bad, don’t you baby” Javi says almost in disbelief.

You lift your hips up, trying your best to wiggle your ass in front of Javi’s face. He takes the hint, moving off the bed to quickly kick off his boxers. He’s back between your legs within seconds, pressing his cock against your cunt and sliding up in the wet mess until his tip catches on your asshole.

“Javi please”

Javi smacks your cheek, making yo cry out as he grinds harder against your slit.

“I’m gonna give you what you want, baby, but you need to be patient.”

You whimper into the pillow and fist your hands into the blanket by your face. Your chest burns from your heavy pants as he slides his hot and heavy cock through your folds getting himself wet with your slick.

You gasp when finally feel him notch his thick head at your dripping entrance. He sinks into you in one languid stroke, filling you up to the brim without letting you adjust to his size.

You both moan loudly together not worried about anyone hearing anymore. He starts with a slow pace, pulling out until just his tip is inside before pushing back in until he’s bumping against your cervix. Your eyes roll back into your skull, loud moans pouring out of you as Javi fills you. You can barely breathe, Javi punching the breath out of lungs every time he thrusts inside of you.

You feel his fingertips dig into your skin as he grips your hips and he holds you in place, exactly where he wants before he’s snapping his hips, fucking into you at a brutal pace.

You howl into the pillow as he slams into you. He’s so deep that you swear you can feel him in your throat. You can’t stop moaning, tears forming in the corners of your eyes as he continues to ruin you, not letting up on his pace for even a second. You try to scoot up the bed, try to create a bit of distance from him just so you can catch your breath. He does not take kindly to that.

He snakes one hand up your spine, grabs a fist full of hair and pulls, causing you to arch your back and push your hips further into his. Hot pain shoots through your scalp and down your spine, mixing deliciously with the pleasure that’s consuming you.

“Nuh-uh, baby. You asked for this so don’t fuckin run from it now” Javi growls through clenched teeth.

You cry out again, and Javi lets out a loud moan of his own from behind you when he feels your walls grip him so impossibly tight that he can’t move inside of you for a couple of seconds.

He suddenly lets go of your hair, instead opting to push your head against the pillow. He makes sure that you can still breathe but he holds you there, hand heavy on your head as he continues to pummel into you.

“Squeezing me so tight, baby. You like when I’m rough with you?”

He obviously doesn’t have to ask. He knows you like the back of his hand, can read your body like a books he’s read a thousand times before. He knows you fucking love it and even if he didn’t, the way your slick leaks out around him and drips onto the sheets below would be a good indicator.

Javi folds over you, moving his hand from your head so he can rest on his forearms, caging your body underneath his. His pace doesn’t falter, not even for a second.

“Tell me baby. Tell me who’s makin you feel this good” Javi growls in your ear.

His words, the feeling of his hot breath and the sound of his delicious gasps and grunts makes you whine loudly.

“Tell me right now, princesa. Or else I’ll fucking stop right now and leave you trembling here alone”

“Javi, fuck! Javi it’s you. You’re so fucking big, getting so deep. Feels so good, baby” you babble, every word you say punctuated by his hips snapping into you harshly.

Javi let’s out a groan of satisfaction.

“That’s right, baby. I’m the only one who can fuck you this good, only one who can properly stuff this needy fucking cunt”

You sob at his words, your cry morphing into a scream when he starts to thrust right into your g-spot. You see stars behind your eyelids, white hot waves of pleasure crashing down on you. Moan after moan tumbles out of lips as he holds the same position, fucking up into your spot over and over again.

“That your special spot, princesa? Am I gonna make you cum again ‘round my fat cock?”

All you can manage is another sob and a vigorous nod against the pillow. Javi’s pressing messy, open mouth kisses to your back and neck, licking, biting, and sucking wherever he pleases. The delectable combination of the scent of his cologne with the scent of the specific brand of cigarettes he always smokes, and whiskey he always drinks swirls around and fills your head while his heavy weight pressing on top of you is making you absolutely feral. The ball of pleasure of swelling in your abdomen, quickly getting tighter and tighter with Javi’s every thrust.

“Cum for me, baby. Can feel you squeezing and I wanna feel you soakin me again” Javi grunts.

He barely gets the last word out before your you’re flying off the edge again. You positively scream as your orgasm rips through you, pure electricity coursing through your veins making your whole body tremble violently underneath him.

He can’t keep himself together, not when you’re shaking and squeezing this hard and especially not when you’re gushing around around him, soaking his lower abdomen and the sheets below you with your release. He reaches his own release seconds after you. His thrusts get sloppy until his hips stall, his cock buried inside of you as deep as possible, unloading a massive load with a long strangled moan. He cums for what feels like forever, a string of curses and your name tumbling out his mouth until he collapses on top of you.

It takes a good while before both of you return to your bodies. You’re still shaking from the intensity of your earth shattering orgasm. Your whole body is so sensitive that Javi’s hot and breathy pants on your back feels like flames are licking your skin. Your chest and throat burn from your screams and raspy breaths and your walls are still contracting rhythmically around his softening cock.

“Fuckin hell, baby” Javi says with a breathless chuckle.

You can feel the vibrations of his chest on your back and it makes your eyes flutter shut as you sink deeper and deeper into pure bliss. He’s starts pressing warm, wet, open mouthed kisses to your back, shoulders, and neck again, his way of saying thank you and maybe even those three little words he still can’t say to you even after all this time.

Javi eventually slowly pulls out of you with a hiss and you shamelessly whimper at the loss of feeling of his cock splitting you in half. You immediately feel his cum trickling out of you but his fingers are just as quick, coming up to slide through your folds and gently push his release back inside of you with a low, almost possessive sounding groan.

You let out a soft cry, your whole body lurching as his fingers slides his fingers in and out of you’re sensitive hole for a few more seconds.

When he’s had his fill, he removes his fingers and presses a long, soft kiss to your hip before standing up.

You hear him walking to the bathroom and turn on the faucet and then he’s back to clean you up with a warm wet rag. Your limbs are jello as deep relaxation fills your body and your sleepiness starts to quickly creep back in. Javi’s laser-focused on being as gentle as possible as he cleans you up, relishing the sweet soft whimpers that you probably don’t even realize your making.

He presses as another kiss to your shoulder before he leaves again. This time he comes back with a glass of water, holding to straw to your lips. You glance up at him as you gulp the water down, his brows furrowed in concentration making sure you drink enough.

When your both satisfied, he sets the water down on the nightstand as you slip your eyes shut. You feel the bed dip as he climbs in next to you, immediately wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest, just like how you fell asleep. He makes sure that you’re not touching the wet spot of the bed before snuggling his face against your shoulder and shutting his eyes that have suddenly gotten very heavy.

Changing the sheets can wait until the morning he thinks to himself as he squeezes you just a bit tighter and quickly slips into deep, heavy sleep. You’re the best goddamn sleeping pill there is.

Thanks for reading :) This is my return to writing after 5 years and first time ever writing for Javi so lmk if you liked it! Maybe send me a request!

[sea-of-dust]

Unexpected Affection

Kafka, Stelle,Blade x GN!Reader

Summary: They never really showed this level of affection before...

Notes: 🗿 just gonna cram this in so those two people that unfollowed me come back. Had a werid urge to cram asuka in here he looks like one of those little fluff dogs, dude.

Warnings: suggestive humor and scenes, betrayed audience (IM SORRY 🙇‍♀️🙇‍♀️),Barely proofread

She's always showing you affection

Touching your hand if you were to sit across from her. Offering to carry you home if too tired. She's very happy to do things for you!

You think her being like this is almost her way of repaying you for being patient while she's out stellaron hunting

She'd text you whenever she was free she'd love seeing how fast you'd respond. "The missions taking a while, I'm sorry if I'm late" you'd type almost immediately after she sent that "don't worry about it! Stay safe." With a small thumbs up emoji afterword. Her heart melts, you can't be this cute.

She loves greeting you by getting home first and sitting down on the couch. "Long time no see~" "Kafka..." the way you say her name she wishes to record it. Your greeting smile and small sweets you prepare for her always make her warm up a bit.

"How did you know I was coming back?" She'd lean into the hug rubbing your arms with her thumb. "I don't so when you don't come back I just kinda eat those alone-" She takes a bag of those snacks with her now, how could you say something like that with a smile on your face-

The longest time she's been out was two months barely being able to text you. So as soon as the mission was done, she excused herself. Waiting for you to come home so she could great you.

"Kaf-" You couldn't even finish your sentence before she kissed you suddenly, holding your hands pinning one to the wall. She kisses you with an eagerness, almost a need for you. You pull away to catch your breath, she'd fail to hide her want for more almost hearts in her eyes. She goes back in holding your waist as she enjoys the long kisses in between short gasps for air. She'll get her fix of you,slipping her toungue in feeling yours squirm everytime they touch, she really can't get enough of you only backing off when she felt shes had enough. "I prepared dinner for us" she wraps her arms around your shoulders, leading you to the dining table completely decorated.

She pulls out a chair for you as you sit down with her and catch up. "So how was the stellaron?" "Alot more active than usual took too much work" a sigh escapes her lips. You two continue to chatter on while eating.

As soon as you two finish eating, she helps you clean up. She can't take your hands off you while you wash dishes. She slowly rock your waist to sync with her movements. She takes off her gloves to touch your face. "As unprovoked as ever" she mumbles leaning into you "Why yes it takes alot of focus to wash dishes" she smiles at the joke leaning in to kiss you "Why yes the dishes are quite a vicious foe"

She just likes being near you. You smell nice...also you're able to keep her from turning into the local raccoon.

you would catch her looking at trash, always somehow be there to pull her away last second. "Come on, Stelle!" You drag her away.

She'd like to place small kisses on your cheek whenever you're not paying attention. She almost did this infront of the star rail crew. "The next planet..." You grab her face, holding her there. "heard that place is hotter than 12 volcano" March and Dan Heng would kinda continue to convo with her kinda stuck there

She can't sleep without you nearby. She's like the demon in the dark you run up the stairs from. She'd just stand there in the doorway as the light kinda makes her look like a shadow. "Uhhh Stelle" "..." you're barely awake yet you could tell it was her. You tsk before lifting your blanket lazily. "Come here" she nearly runs into bed with you cuddling into you. "You need a night light...maybe I'll take one from March" you pat her head as she scoots closer to you.

You had a maid run up to you shrieking about someone jumping out of a closet. "I'll go check it out miss I'll contact you if you it's anything serious" you go to check the room walking in and closing the door. You hear something in the closet and peak in only to have the doors fly open, Stelle almost jumping out trying to stop herself realizing who it was. "So you jump scared the room service lady" she nods "....wanna try that on sampo?"

She gets caught up in boxing and actively shows off how good she is. She always looks for you in the audience and shows off her win. "Congrats Stelle, but put him down!"

She won't admit it but she maybe maybe- likes pda. Maybe she does like holding your hand in public or the thought of you kissing her without a care. You'll never get her to say it tho. She just brushes her fingers on yours, occasionally hoping you'd hold onto her hand.

You found her in a trash can as usual but this time one on her head. You looked at her flabbergasted. "Stelle- get that off of your-" you were interrupted by her pulling it up and kiss you. Her tongue slipping in a bit, lowering the trash can down for a bit of privacy. You pull away, "Stelle what the-" she kisses you again before you pull her off gently "wait till we're on the express k?" You blush softly. She pounts a bit but still waits pulling the trashcan lower.

Turns out she forgot when you got back to the express a few days later when she does remmber tho she nearly runs at you slamming your door. "Eh what?" You rub your eyes seeing the raccoon in all of her glory "Stelle?" Your eyes a bit hazy yet you could still tell it was her, she nearly jumps on you immediately taking off her jacket. "Youre always up to something-" she cuts you off putting a finger to your mouth "shush" she smirks teasingly "been waiting for this for a long while now~" her voice is so calm yet you could almost feel mischief radiating off of her.

She kisses you for a long while, only pulling away to catch her breath quickly going back to it moments later. She didn't even care when March came knocking, wondering where she was. If anything, she just became more passionate. She adores your little tired noises every time she does something to fluster you. The infamous rubbing circles in your back always managed to get an embrassed squeak out of you. As soon as you pull her off breathing heavily, she'll notice just how flustered she made you. Her job was complete staying with you that night so she could do it all again in the morning.

He isn't too open even when in a relationship

You know he loves you he just doesn't say it outloud. You usually have to make moves and he'd slowly respond to those things, he's almost confused. "You're so stiff" you hug him from behind "as stiff as a board~" leaning into him a bit. As you hug him he's not really sure what to do. Does he hug back backward? Does he turn around and hug you? Does he just embrace it? So may questions running through a very straight faced man

The quickest way you flustered him is when you ask about the future while laying your head on his lap. "Blade... you think you might settle down with me when there's no longer stellarons to hunt." He didn't move, but it was clear to see the blush on his face. As he softly pats your head, you could almost hear him mumble a "I want to..."

He offen tries to sneakily hold your hand. "Oh?" He would stay straight faced, holding your hand behind your backs. Gripping your hand a bit tighter sometimes. "Is this your way of being flustered?" "No" he'd squeeze your hand. "Uh huh"

He wants you to braid his hair. He'd sit down with his back facing you, and you'd be so confused. When you finally offered, you could tell he almost ran but didn't wanna embrass himself. "Alright, sit -" he sits with his back turned to you in the same spot as usual. "Oh...so THAT'S what you meant." "What did you think I mean?" "That you were mad at me. " "...." he got his hair braided but still sensed undying guilt

He'd be so confused if you bought him any sort of gift. He's grateful, but... how to use it. "Blade...it's a fake flower, and when ya open it!" You carefully twist off the bud. "It's a chapstick!" He looks down at it, then back at you,"are my lips that crusty. " "No! No! I just got it cause I thought you wanted one! Always notice you staring at mine when I use it" he doesn't tell you, but he's been wondering about indirect kissing via chapstick.

All this thinking of kissing is gonna get in the way of stellron hunting it's too the point Kafka picks up on it and starts teasing him. "Bladie~, you seem flustered." "..." she smirks. "Is it that cute person you're dating!" He's pink trying to hide it, but he's blushing just thinking of you. "Your little play thing surprised you haven't given up on revenge just to stay with them longer." she walks in circles around him, annoying him but fluttering him none the less

He caught you asleep while waiting for him, so he tried to sneak into your arms without waking you. He'd fail...horrendously. you'd feel soft breaths and your arms going around a figure patting your head as you slept. Jokes on him, after you caught him doing this for a multitude of times, you just decided to pretend not to wake. Hopefully, making him feel like he's getting better at this.

He hides his cravings to wanna kiss you, but when he wants them, it's so odvious. He stays around you more often with almost no room for air, his frown deepening and eyes softening almost as if softly begging for something.

When he finally acted on this urge, it was only when you figured it out, kissing his cheek as he turned into a blushing mess. "Oh ho~, it seems someone got a bit excited for that," you smirk teasingly, hugging him. "Did you want one of these too?" His breath was heavy, his hair covering some of his face, but you could tell you had him on the ropes. Suddenly, he cups your face and leans in hesitantly before kissing you, slowly getting more passionate as he grips the clothes near your waist. You softly laugh at this, hearing him scoff, taking this chance you kiss him again in a slightly teasing way as he fully embraces your affection. He gets more egar gripping your clothes a bit tighter as his small kisses turn into deep, long ones with short gaps for air. He'd look so ashamed whenever he pulled away for breath. "If you're tired, we could save it for later." You smirk teasingly. "...just one more," you kiss his cheek. "..." You smirk, kissing his lips. "You're cute whenever you want something, you know"

[simmerandwrite]

Sink Into Me - 09 - mob!Steve Rogers x plus size!reader

Pairing: mob boss! Steve Rogers x plus size! reader

Summary: You were simply doing a good deed, pulling the handsome stranger out of the way when a car jumped the curb. Little did you know that the life you saved belonged to Steve Rogers, the Army veteran turned art dealer with connections to the Brooklyn crime syndicate.

Steve Rogers, who won’t stop calling you his guardian angel.

Steve Rogers, whose new goal in life just might be repaying his debt to you.

Steve Rogers, who isn’t shy until it comes to his feelings and will stop at nothing to keep you safe.

Chapters: 01 02 03 04 05 06  07 08 09

Wordcount: 11k

Warnings: angst, allusions to dog fighting (but no mention of any kind of abuse), smut

Notes: here we go!! I have so much to say but I'll summarize it with a big thank you!! to everyone who read, reblogged and followed along for the journey. y'all made this so much more fun! can't wait to hear your thoughts!! and while this is the end of Sink Into Me, this universe may stick around for a while. a few more notes on this at the end ;) thank you thank you thank you! enjoy!!

--

“Hi,” you said quietly, meeting his eyes in the low light streaming in from his lamp.

“Are you okay?” Steve asked, scanning you for any signs of distress.

You shrugged, taking in a deep breath. Then Steve took a step back, waving his arm to invite you in. You released your lungs slowly, nodding and following him inside. Wordlessly, he climbed into the bed and offered the open blanket to you, arms wide.

You just nodded again, crawling under the comforter and finding a spot - your spot - underneath his arms.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence, you pulled away from him. A strange empty laugh escaped you.

“I can’t believe… an hour ago… I was being held at gunpoint. That’s crazy. Isn’t that crazy?” The whole thing suddenly hit you like a ton of bricks, all of it. The ambush on your way home, the brute force, the cold rain, the gun.

“Sweetheart..” Steve sat up the same way you did. 

You shook your head and shuffled to the side of the bed and planted your feet on the floor, sitting there as you caught your breath. 

“Hey, hey. Just breathe, okay?” He scrambled off the bed, coming around the kneel in front of you. With one hand, he reached out and placed it on your knee. You dropped yours onto his and squeezed it. “I’m.. baby, I’m so sorry.”

You closed your eyes, taking in a few deep breaths.

“I’m sorry.” He whispered your name, brushing his thumb against your knee. “I’m sorry for everything. Ever since that day.. On the street, outside the restaurant, just by saving me - you had a target on your back and it’s my fault. I hurt you and put you in danger and it’s my fault.”

The silence washed over you both again.

Steve continued, quieter. “Is there anything I can do or say right now to help you? I know you’re probably scared and I can’t fix that but… your well being, that’s all that matters to me.”

You exhaled and opened your eyes. “I.. I’m hungry.”

Steve blinked. “Uh, okay. Sure. I can order a pizza or we could..” His lips twitched into a brief smile. “How about grilled cheese?”

 —

Truthfully, Steve wasn’t always stocked up on the basics but this time he was grateful for what few groceries remained in his fridge. There was a strange silence as you headed to the kitchen. Steve got to work grabbing what he needed for grilled cheese making while you sat at his small dining room table.

Hercules followed you closely, finding a new place to sleep at your feet. 

You fiddled with the tag of the tea bag in your cup of chamomile, quiet. The frying pan sizzled.

“Steve?” 

Your voice drew his attention away from his task at hand. He turned. “Yeah?”

“Why didn’t you tell me about the fire? At, uh, your mom’s clinic?”

He stilled then turned back towards the stovetop. He flicked off the element and plated the sandwiches, joining you at the table. He slid a plate across to you.

“I would have, eventually. I didn’t want to scare you,” he finally replied, biting on his lip before he continued. “There was a street gang making a big mess in Brooklyn years ago now. In this type of work, uh, gangs usually coexist. Not always peacefully, of course.”

You took a bite of your sandwich and watched Steve carefully.

“This particular group - called themselves the Red Skulls, led by this absolute menace Johann Schmidt.”

“Oh,” you tipped your head to the side, nodding. “I think I remember hearing about him in the news a few years ago.”

“Probably. They were fucking messy. Schmidt was a piece of work especially. There are a lot of things I do not tolerate in my city and he crossed a very serious line.” Steve rolled his neck. God, maybe he shouldn’t be telling you this. But what did he have to lose now? Honesty was all he had left. “Long story short - we took down one of the Red Skulls trafficking operations. They were kidnapping sex workers.” He took in a sharp breath, eyes closing at the resurfacing memories. “Ma looked after everyone we helped escape and Schmidt retaliated by setting fire to the clinic...”

And Steve had been at some fucking club that night. Volleying between shots of liquor and lines of coke, he nearly missed the most important phone call of his goddamn life. 

Steve lost himself in his downward spiral of thoughts as memories of his mother’s recovery flashed through his mind. When he came back to reality, you were looking at him. There was a strange sadness in your eyes.

“That wasn’t your fault, Steve,” you said quietly, tearing off another piece of your sandwich.

He laughed, shaking his head. “The people I care about, the ones I love - you, included now - there is a target on their back, on your back. Forever. I pushed you away and for what? They still..” He dragged both of his hands down his face, head shaking again. “I’m sorry, sweetheart. For.. everything.”

You blinked again, then looked down at your plate. “When you called me and broke up with – that day. What you said to me, it was so careless and..”

“Mean?” Steve finished for you. That’s what you had said. He was mean. No, he had been worse than mean. It was cruel and he had done it on purpose.

“Yeah. Why couldn’t you just be honest? If you care about me so much, how could you say those things?”

He wasn’t sure if he should answer, if he could. But you were looking at him and waiting.

“I don’t know,” he replied quietly, leaning back in his chair and gazing out towards the window. “Because I wasn’t thinking straight. I was emotionally compromised. Natasha barely talked to me for weeks after that night. That was another constant reminder that I really fucked up..”

You sighed. After a few beats, you finally found some words. “What do we do now?”

He looked back at you. “I know I hurt you. I think about it every single fucking day and I can’t undo it, I wish I could undo it.” He took in a hard breath. “I can’t even ask for you to forgive me because it isn’t fair. Not after tonight. Because after all this, how could you ever?” An empty, somber laugh rumbled through him. “I’m just.. I’m sorry, sweetheart. I wish I could press reset.”

The silence hung between you both again. You finished your sandwich and looked back at Steve. 

“I’m tired,” you said softly, stifling a yawn. “Can I.. sleep beside you?”

Steve nodded. “Of course.”

–

You woke up the next morning in Steve’s bed, alone. Somewhere far away, probably in the kitchen, you could hear him on the phone. With a deep sigh, you got up and put yourself back together. 

Hercules trotted towards you as you departed from Steve’s room. You followed him back towards the kitchen where Steve had put a modest little breakfast together. He ended his phone call when he saw you, then joined you at the table with a pot of coffee.

Your conversation was minimal. You briefly panicked as you recalled the fake meeting Ward had arranged for you with Hammond, but Steve was quick to tell you he had dealt with it.

Eventually, after your quiet breakfast, you asked to return to your own apartment. Steve insisted on driving you there and walking you to your door. When you got to your building, you noticed an additional security guard posted near the front desk.

You wondered if Steve had something to do with that.

When you got to your door, you opened it and let Hercules in before you turned to Steve.

You didn’t know what to say. You weren’t sure  what was supposed to happen now. Truthfully, nothing felt real. 

You felt numb.

“Are you gonna be okay here?” Steve asked, tipping his head just slightly to search your face. “If you wanted to stay at a hotel or–”

“No,” you cut him off. “I’ll be fine, I’m sure. I’m just tired. I’m going to take the rest of the day to try and clear my mind.”

“Well, if you need anything at all, call me. Please.”

You hesitated. What were you and Steve now? Friends? Exes? Something more? Something less? You couldn’t figure it out and you were too scared to ask. What did you even want with him?

“Did you unblock my number then?” Your lips twitched into a momentary smile.

Steve didn’t smile back. He was serious and for a second, you watched as he hesitated to reply too. “Of course I did. I never should have..” He closed his eyes. “Call me, anytime. For anything. If something ever feels wrong or someone..” Releasing a long breath, he met your eyes once more. Your name left his lips, quiet, like a whisper. “I can’t figure out what else to say other than that I’m sorry. Again. I just.. I wish I could fix everything and erase what happened last night and.. I’ll be sorry for the rest of my life.”

You squeezed his closest hand. You didn’t know what to say. You raised yourself up slightly onto your toes and pressed a quick kiss to his cheek. Then you disappeared into your apartment.

You called your mom that afternoon. And while you didn’t give her any details about what had happened in the last 24 hours of your life, you found it necessary to still call her and tell her how much you loved her. She didn’t ask why you were reaching out or question the way your voice cracked, but you knew she was concerned. 

The rest of the day, you slept on and off. Eventually, you ordered in for dinner and forced yourself to sit with the feelings you were wrestling with. What was it? What was going on?

Were you scared? Yes, sure. Even though the incident had been isolated and specific, even though the men responsible were either in custody with law enforcement or being kept directly underneath Steve’s foot, you had reason to feel unsettled. 

How could you deal with it though? Enough rational thought brought your heart rate down enough to strategize if anything ever happened again. Pepper spray on keychain, maybe one of those spikey keyrings that doubled as defense weapons.. A self defense class? Maria told you she had taken one before and she found it empowering. Maybe you needed to feel empowered, too.

It was strange though, as you let your mind fester over your feelings, one constant helped keep you steady and walked you back from your edge of anxiety. Steve. When you felt unsafe, Steve had helped you, protected you, saved you. 

You didn’t even know what you were to him anymore and yet, he carried on as if you were the most important thing in the world. That helping, protecting, saving you was a responsibility he didn’t take lightly. Steve.. He just.. You just..

Steve. Steve was calling. You shook off your layer of feelings analysis and answered your buzzing phone, sitting up on the couch as you brought it to your ear. It was late.

“Hello?”

“Hey.. thanks for.. I wanted to check in, see how you’re doing. If I’m overstepping, feel free to hang up on me, though.”

You let out a quiet laugh. “You’re not overstepping.” You’re being Steve. “I’m okay, yeah. Calm and mostly relaxed. I’m..”

“I’m glad to hear that.” He paused and you swore you could hear him overthinking what to say next. “Would you tell me the truth though? If you weren’t.. Okay?”

You nodded, even though he couldn’t see you. “I would.”

“I appreciate that, really. I know you don’t owe me anything but I’m worried.”

You smiled to yourself. “I’m okay.” You knew repeating it may not reassure him, but it helped you. “Oh, actually. I was thinking about something.. Uhm, when they..” You breathed in slowly. “When they took Hercules, they mentioned some weird threat about him fighting. Is that.. Does that mean they.. That there is a dog fighting, uhm, thing or..” You couldn’t even bear to finish what you were thinking.

“Bucky is already investigating, sweetheart. If that exists, we’re going to stop it. I promise you.”

–––

The next evening, Steve called again. To check in and make sure you were still okay. It was funny - because you had a feeling that his phone calls weren’t the only thing Steve had implemented when it came to ensuring your wellbeing. A new lock system had been installed at the front of your building and that same security guard was patrolling when you left for work that morning too.

The next night he called to see how you were. Then the next and the next and the next.

One night, after you told Steve that you were okay, again, you felt an urge to keep him on the line. For some reason, your conversation started to feel like they used to when you first met - friendly, but a hint of something else, something more. But did you want that? Did he?

“While I have you, though. I was wondering if I had to ask Clint for permission if I wanted to paint my apartment - do you know? Or is it like free reign?”

Steve laughed on his side of the phone. “I can get Clint to find you a painter tomorrow, if you want.”

“Oh, no.” You dismissed that idea quickly. “I want to do it myself. I think it would be fun.”

“Well then, since it’s my building, consider this your permission to paint whatever you want. And if you need some extra hands, I’d be happy to help.”

–––

A week later, you answered another late call from Steve.

“It’s late, I can let you go. I’m sure Hercules is already asleep beside the bed waiting for you..”

You smiled to yourself briefly, then sighed. “I’ve been in bed for a while, actually.”

“Oh.” You heard Steve pause. “You didn’t have to take my call.”

“I can’t sleep tonight.”

He paused again. His voice was slower this time, softer. “Is something wrong?”

“No, I just..” It was probably just the late day coffee you had or the tight stress you were holding in your body. “..can’t sleep, I guess.” 

“Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Maybe you could.. I don’t know, just talk a bit. Tell me a story? From your childhood or high school or something?” You stifled a yawn. “Anything..”

After another beat, Steve’s voice returned in your ear. “Okay. Let’s see. Technically I’m forbidden to share this story but me and Buck had to take a theater class in high school and..”

–––

Steve called you pretty early one night, just as you were coming home from picking up Hercules.

You dropped onto your couch and quickly pulled on the nearest throw blanket the moment you walked into the apartment. When you noticed Steve on the caller ID, you answered right away.  

“Hi,” you said through a yawn, laying flat on the cushions. It sounded like Steve sighed in relief on the other end of the phone. “Steve? Everything okay?”

“Yeah, sorry. Hey sweetheart,” he continued quickly. Damn. When he slipped in the sweetheart pet name, your heart got really confused. “Just nice to hear your voice.” 

“Are you okay?” You repeated the question, sitting up from your lounging position. 

“I am,” he confirmed. “There’s just something I need to tell you, before you hear about it on the news.”

“Okay..”

“Rumlow - Brock Rumlow.. You remember him?” Before you could answer, Steve laughed. “That’s a stupid question. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten Rumlow.”

You couldn’t help but smile at Steve’s commentary. “No, I haven’t forgotten Brock Rumlow.” Your momentary elation soon disappeared when you considered why Steve might be mentioning Rumlow by name. “What about him?”

“He died today.”

A silence fell between you. “In prison?”

“Yes. Considering how high profile his arrest was, it will likely make the evening news. Maybe it’s already published, I don’t know. I just wanted to warn you before you heard.”

“Okay.” You paused again. “Steve - did you–”

“This had nothing to do with me, surprisingly.” He let out some weird exaggerated laugh again. “I wasn’t his only enemy.” That was Steve choosing what to say and you supposed that was fine. The nitty gritty details really weren’t needed. “Sweetheart, are you okay?”

Even though he couldn’t see you, you shrugged, laying back down. “I don’t know, I guess I’m just.. it’s weird to say relieved but..I shouldn’t feel relief over someone’s death, right?  Maybe I don’t know how to react.”

“That’s normal, I’d say.” He paused. “I don’t want you to be scared.”

“I do get scared. I think about that night a lot.” You sighed. “But I’ve lived in New York long enough to know that the weird person on the subway probably doesn’t give a shit about me, so I shouldn’t be worried about them.”

“What weird person on the subway?” Steve asked quickly. You could hear him shuffling, maybe going from sitting to standing. “Where did you see–”

“Steve.” You cut him off, with a quiet laugh. “That was hypothetical. I’ve been alright lately, I promise. And remember, I said I would tell you if I wasn’t.”

You heard him let out a long sigh. “Okay.”

“Thank you for calling me and giving me a heads up though,” you continued. “Maybe I’ll mute my news feeds for a few days.”

–––

You [7:01PM]: what do you think? It has taken a few weeks from start to finish but…

You [7:01PM]: (IMG_9116) S Rogers [7:02PM]: that’s a great colour S Rogers [7:03PM]: so. what was the ratio of paint on wall vs paint on you? You [7:03PM]: wow! Rude. You [7:03PM]: 90/10 You [7:04PM]: (IMG_9121) S Rogers [7:06PM]: very cute S Rogers [7:06PM]: even with paint in your hair ;)

–––

Thanksgiving wasn’t your favourite holiday. The food was fine and sure, it was a great excuse for some time off work.

Into adulthood, you were really appreciative of the friendsgiving tradition instead. Especially because your mother was spending the holiday in Jacksonville with her cousin, leaving you mostly without plans for the big day.

Friendsgiving you took seriously. Claire was hosting this year, the weekend before Thanksgiving since she had to work on the holiday, and you had been tasked with dessert making, which was totally up your alley. Maria had offered assistance, so together you were spending your Friday night making the most out of your oven and counter space. 

It was going well, although you had started a lot later than planned. It made for a late night but you were in good company with Maria. Having a night in with one of your closest friends wasn’t something you took for granted. Between flour measurements and preparing fruit, you and Maria spent the entire night talking. It was exactly what you needed.

Just before midnight, you were taking the pecan pie out of the oven and Maria was finishing off the dishes. Just as you turned to join her at the sink, a loud banging started at your door. You gasped, probably too loudly for a sane person, and met Maria’s wide confused stare.

Hercules awoke from his bed in your room and trotted towards the door, cautious.

You walked over behind him, holding your breath as another knock echoed.

“Jesus, Barnes - you’re going to scare her to death..”

Barnes? Was that.. Clint’s voice?

Maria followed behind you, pausing as you looked through the peephole. 

“Who is knocking on your door at midnight?” Maria asked quietly.

You sighed. Bucky and Clint, apparently. What on earth?

After unlocking the door, you opened it, stopping the bickering men in the middle of their conversation. 

“Hello?” You returned their awkward greetings with a small wave. “Can I help you?”

“What is that smell?” Clint’s eyes widened, looking over your shoulder into the apartment. “Are you baking?”

“Can I help you?” You repeated, turning your attention to Bucky directly. “What are you doing here?”

Bucky let out a breath before dragging a hand down his jaw. “So, here’s the thing, doll. My good friend Steve - you know Steve, right? He’s currently spiraling because you haven’t answered your phone or any of his messages all night..” He stood up a bit straighter, looking between you and Maria. “Given the uh..well, he’s just worried about you. Sent us up to check in.. And, since you are clearly very alive and safe, we should..” He paused. “Do I smell snickerdoodles?”

“Oh my god,” you rolled your eyes, inviting the men inside. Maria grabbed the container of fresh cookies and offered them each one.

“If Steve is concerned, why isn’t he at the door?” Maria wondered out loud. 

“Boundaries,” Clint answered with a mouth full of cookies.

Bucky thwacked him on the shoulder. “Manners, Barton.” Bucky waited to bite his own cookie, then nodded. “He’s politely keeping his distance.”

You sighed, then looked over at Maria. You had filled your friend in on most of the details about you and Steve and what your recent reconnection looked like. Minus the whole warehouse rooftop situation. You weren’t sure how to share that. But the confusing new feelings and conversations.. They had proved difficult to process alone.

Not to mention that after you and Steve had broken up, your friends had loyally become very anti-Steve. Which you very much appreciated and if the roles were reversed, you’d have done the same for them. But people and relationships were complicated. You weren’t sure how your friends would react to the whole thing.

Maria, for example, had been incredibly cautious and resistant when you filled her in. Not that she didn’t believe in giving people second chances - but instead held true to the fact that all men were just big clueless morons who never did the right thing. You couldn’t fault her for that opinion either. But even if you figured out your own feelings and walls, you’d never be able to really date Steve again if your friends hated him.

“Hmm,” Maria leaned against your counter, removing the dish cloth from her shoulder as she organized her things. “Well, you should walk me out.” She turned to you. “Points to Steve for respecting boundaries and still caring about you, but I’d feel better seeing him grovel up close.”

Clint let out a belly laugh. “Me too”

While Maria and Clint headed out, you took the opportunity to put Hercules’ leash on for one last trip outside before bed. When you stepped into the hallway, Bucky was waiting for you. 

“This isn’t my place and I know you’re smart enough,” he started slowly, dropping his hand down to accept a lick from Hercules. “But you know you don’t owe Steve anything right? I told him that the day might come where you don’t answer his phone calls and he has to deal with it on his own. If you close the door, he will keep his distance.”

You scrunched up your face, then shrugged. “Thanks, Bucky. Sounds like you’ve been doing a lot of emotional support for him.”

“You have no idea, doll. It’s part of my role as lifelong best friend, unfortunately. It’s a heavy burden to bear,” Bucky laughed, shrugging too. “He’s got some demons to work through - I guess we all do. Right now with you though? He’s trying real hard not to look like he’s trying.”

You caught up with Clint and Maria at the elevator then headed to the lobby. As you walked out, you spotted Sam leaning against the front desk, chatting with the overnight doorman. And then there was Steve - standing at attention, hands locked behind his back, an equal distance between the front entrance and the elevators. He was dressed in what you considered his normal attire - a crisp navy suit over a plain shirt, no tie. He made effortless look so damn good and you sort of hated it.

When he saw you, he took a few strides forward.

Bucky and Clint joined Sam to the side while Maria lingered behind your shoulder. Hercules tugged on his leash and pulled you towards Steve immediately, clearly overjoyed to see him. 

“Hey,” you started as you approached. “I unintentionally ignored your calls, I’m sorry. Just plugged my phone in and forgot about it for a while.” 

Steve shook his head quickly. You couldn’t help but see his resolve lighten, as if seeing you caused his shoulders to relax. “You don’t have to apologize. I shouldn’t have dragged everyone here, there was just this..” Whatever Steve was going to say, he seemed to change his mind. He blinked twice then scanned you. “Is that.. flour?” He reached and brushed your shoulder clean.

“We’ve been baking,” you filled in quickly, doing your best to try and read him. “Claire is hosting us for Friendsgiving tomorrow and–”

“You should come!” Maria blurted out from behind you. 

With wide eyes, you looked over your shoulder at her. ‘What?’ you mouthed. 

Now it was Maria’s turn to shrug. “Claire said her cousin had to bail so there’s an extra seat and..” She took a step forward, nodding at you in reassurance before looking at Steve. “And Luke will be there. So.. you know, you’ll have a friend..”

“I thought Claire invited Matt?” You couldn’t help but ask as your brain caught up to you. “That doesn’t..” You turned back to Steve. “You are more than welcome to come. I know you’re busy and have a lot of–”

“I’d love to,” Steve answered slowly, as if trying to make sure you were even okay with the concept. You reached out and grabbed his nearest hand, with a squeeze. That seemed to be reassurance enough. “What can I bring?”

Steve and his crew left shortly after, not before Steve gave you a soft kiss on the cheek. You forced Maria to join you outside with Hercules before her Uber showed up. The fresh air was something you really needed to cool down. 

“So,” You turned to Maria, tipping your head to the side dramatically. “What the hell was that?”

Maria whined out your name, shaking her head. “That guy is in love with you. And trust me, he has a long way to go before I will trust him again, but damn. He looks at you like you’re the most important person on the planet. And I think you love him too.”

“Maria..” You sighed, leaning your head onto her shoulder. “I don’t know how things got so complicated.”

“I just want you to be happy and safe,” she carried on, giving you a small pat on the head. “I get that not everyone is into second chances but.. I don’t know, life is short. If you feel comfortable giving the guy another chance, then we could too. Maybe. Wanda for sure can get on board, Claire might have some reservations.”

“And inviting Steve tomorrow is supposed to be some test?”

“Obviously,” Maria smirked, looking like you had said the most ridiculous thing in the world. “I think it’s only fair for us to really get to know him.”

–––

Claire lived in a beautiful rent controlled apartment in the middle of Harlem. She complained about the location every now and then - it wasn’t the smoothest commute for her to get to work - but at the end of the day, it was functional and roomy. 

Which was good, considering you, Claire and Maria had rearranged most of her living room and kitchen area to host a dozen people for Friendsgiving. With a set of borrowed chairs and a folding table from Claire’s downstairs neighbour, you managed to set up the area just in time before everyone started to arrive.

When Maria had spilled in the group chat about inviting Steve to dinner, Claire had been apprehensive but on board, for your sake. And although you had been grateful for your friends’ open mindedness when it came to Steve, you were suddenly nervous about the whole thing.

Mostly because - oh god, what if he had a terrible time? Or what if he got a phone call in the middle of dinner and had to disappear? Was he going to bring a gun with him? Jesus, you hadn’t even thought about that and what if-

Claire dropped a hand on your shoulder. “Girl, you need to chill.” She urged a glass of your preferred wine into your free hand and sent you away from the kitchen area. “He’s just a man, remember.”

You laughed and clinked your glass with hers. Claire was always a good voice of reason, which you appreciated. You turned to her with a smile. “A good reminder, thank you. But speaking of men - why did you invite both your current fling and your ex to this?”

Before Claire could defend her own actions, Maria was answering a knock at the door and guests started to arrive. After a few arrivals, you were the one greeting at the door and you couldn’t hold back your smile when Steve showed up, with Luke at his side.

“Hey,” you said, politely stepping aside to let Luke in while you lingered in the doorway with Steve. “You look nice.” It felt silly to say but you couldn’t help yourself. Steve had traded his typical suit for a pair of dark brown slacks and a knitted red striped polo. His hair was perfectly coiffed and you just wanted to… kiss him. Damnit.

Steve smirked in response, pulling you into a side hug. “You look nice, sweetheart.” Okay, yes, you had picked out one of your favourite dresses. But that was because you wanted to dress up for Friendsgiving, that was the only reason.

After he shed his coat, you noticed Steve was carrying flowers. You didn’t even have a moment to comment on them before he headed towards the kitchen, where he presented the bouquet directly to Claire. She accepted them with a smile, and when he turned away, you caught her eye. She pointed towards the flowers and mouthed ‘Ten points!’

It didn’t surprise you that Steve managed to socialize effectively with everyone he just met, but he truly did such an impressive job holding conversations. Before dinner, he engrossed himself in a chat with Claire’s on-again-off-again ex-boyfriend Matt, the lawyer, and his coworker Foggy. They seemed to have some common interests in certain legal matters that mostly sounded incredibly boring to you. 

Steve stayed within your orbit and even when you were in the kitchen finalizing a few things with Claire, you caught him looking your way. Why did that make your heart beat so fast?

You sat at his side for dinner and when everyone was going around sharing what they were thankful for, Steve’s hand found your knee under the table. When you said you were thankful for all the people in your life (and your dog, of course), Steve gave you a delicate squeeze and rubbed his thumb against your thigh. 

After dinner, he found you in the kitchen.

“You know, Bucky was bragging all night about your cookies,” Steve saddled up beside you as you leaned against the kitchen counter, while you nibbled at the last piece of apple pie. Steve grabbed a spare fork and joined you. “They ain’t got nothing on this pie.”

You smiled. “Glad you liked it.”

“Apple is my favourite,” Steve replied, licking his lip after cleaning off his fork. “Ma makes a good one but I think she has some competition.”

“That seems like really high praise,” you laughed, leaning against the counter. Steve mirrored you, resting his hand behind your back. It was subtle, maybe even barely noticeable, but he very slowly started to trace circles against the soft fabric of your dress. You were melting. “I’m really glad you came. Hopefully it wasn’t too painful for you.”

He tipped his head to look at you. “We will have to thank Maria for inviting me.”

When Steve politely offered you a ride home, you couldn’t say no. Since you were both heading towards the same area of Brooklyn, it made a lot more sense than taking the subway. As you were leaving, Clarie, Maria and Wanda all gave you the same friendly judgemental look. You accepted that as approval for your actions, departing with a small smile and Steve’s hand at your back.

In typical Steve fashion, he walked you inside and to your apartment door. And then he even happily joined as you took Hercules outside for some air.

Then, well, the night was over. Steve had come to dinner, Steve had brought you home. What else was there to do?

“You can share those cookies with Bucky,” you said with a smile as you stood in the hallway, between Steve and your door. You were sending him home with the rest of the snickerdoodles. “Or keep them all to yourself.”

Steve smiled, raising his hand to brush it through his hair. God, that was sexy. Had that always been sexy? What was going on? Why were you feeling this way?

“Thank you again for letting me join you tonight,” he said slowly, then his feet shuffled forward half a step closer to you. “Hopefully your friends don’t hate me.”

You laughed, sliding your tongue across your lips. You watched his eyes dart down, watching carefully. You swallowed the lump in your throat. “Steve..”

Then he leaned in, holding your hips with his hands, and pressed his lips… to your cheek. You tried not to deflate. 

His palms lingered against you for a moment, then he pulled back. You couldn’t read his face. 

“Goodnight, sweetheart.” 

–

You texted him well after midnight.

You [1:12AM]: are you awake? S Rogers [1:12AM]: yes

Steve answered your call after the first ring. “Is everything okay?” 

You couldn’t believe you had actually hit ‘call’  but something deep within you compelled you to. It was dark in your bedroom and you couldn’t stop thinking about Steve. You had been restless in bed for over an hour as his face flashed through your mind. Steve with his broad shoulders. Steve with his lingering hands. The way his chain bounced on his chest, how he growled when he came…

Just moments ago you had reached into your bedside table for your little vibrating toy. It wasn’t the first time you had put it to use thinking about Steve. But this time, you were imagining him tearing off that knit polo, the lingering smell of his aftershave, his weight on you. 

If you couldn’t feel him, maybe you could hear him.

“I’m fine..” You said slowly. “Are you at home?” It occurred to you he might have gone directly to Shield after he dropped you off. 

Your name left his lips, drawing your attention back to the call. “I’m home. What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“What’s wrong is..” You tried to steady your breathing. Your voice dropped down. “.. you’re not in bed beside me.”

Silence. Then, you heard his breath hitch. “Baby..”

“I can’t..” You were whining into the phone. “I want to come, Steve. Will you help me? Please?.”

He chuckled, lowering his voice. “I can’t say no to that request, sweetheart. Tell me - what are you doing? You using that toy?”

“Uh huh,” you preened back. You had been sliding it across your skin, teasing yourself for as long as you could. “I’ve been thinking about you, Stevie. You and me.”

“Me too, baby. Fuck.” You could hear more shuffling on his side. Christ. Was he touching himself too? “Listen to me, I’m going to help you. Bet you’re already wet, aren’t you?”

You just whined in response.

“Turn that toy up a notch, baby. Circle your clit real slow. And what about your nipples? God, if I was there–”

“Tell me, please. If you were here..”

Half an hour later, as your laboured breathing settled after two quivering orgasms, Steve wished you goodnight and sweet dreams. 

–––

Given it was the night before Thanksgiving, your boss has been flexible when you had to dash out early. The frantic call from Kate at the dog daycare had been surprising, but thankfully your heart rate steadied out when you learned that Hercules was okay. They hadn’t spared any other details, but politely asked owners to come collect their dogs earlier than usual.

Truthfully, you had barely been functional at work all week anyway. Sure, you went through the motions and got your tasks done but before a long weekend, most people were half-assing their responsibilities anyway. And your mind was still racing after Friendsgiving dinner and the phone call with Steve and… Steve. 

Fuck.

You were one of the last to arrive at the daycare, patiently waiting in line to check Hercules out. Once you had him, leash in hand, you turned to leave. Then you spotted Natasha and Yelena chatting quietly to the side of the room, and, well, you couldn’t help but follow your gut.

You saw Yelena there quite often, but Natasha was a rare sighting. Ever since your conversation with Steve after the whole warehouse incident, something had been pricking at the back of your mind.

“..Natasha barely talked to me for weeks after that night..”

Taking a deep breath, you headed toward the sisters. Luckily, it seemed like their conversation had come to an end anyway as Yelena rushed past you with a hurried hello, then joined Kate somewhere behind the scenes. Nataha remained planted where she stood, scanning over her phone. She tipped her head up as you approached.

“Hey,” you started out slowly, offering a reluctant smile. 

Nat crouched briefly, greeting Hercules with a few head scratches before she met your gaze again. “How are you?”

“I was wondering if.. you had like two minutes to chat?” You asked, eyes closed tight as you anticipated her answer. You weren’t sure what it was about Natasha, but she intimated you immensely. You weren’t scared of her but something made you want to impress her. 

Natasha looked at her phone again, eyes narrowed, then back to you. “I can give you five.” With a nod of her head, you followed her behind the front desk and into the small staff kitchen area opposite the main daycare space.

While Natasha dropped onto one of the well worn couches, quickly joined by Hercules as you let go of his leash, you couldn’t steady yourself. All at once, your burning questions and thoughts swirled around in your mind. Then, you took a deep breath and opened your mouth.

“Steve told me a few weeks ago, that when we broke up..  he said you stopped talking to him for a while. I wanted to ask you why..” You raised a shoulder up to shrug, then watched Natasha from across the room.

After a few beats, she let out a quiet laugh. Then, she leaned forward on the couch, elbow resting on her knees, and she stared at you. “Can I be frank with you?”

You swallowed, then found a chair to sit on near a small table. “I’d rather you be Natasha..” When that clearly shielded attempt at humour landed no response, you cleared your throat and nodded. “Yes, please.”

Natasha sighed. “Steve trusts me and when he asks me for advice, I don’t sugar coat it. Dating Steve is not an easy task and your wellbeing is his top priority. So I get why he made his decision. But I did firmly advise him not to be an asshole about it. It was going to hurt you either way, but it was up to him to control the delivery.”

You rolled your eyes. “Yeah, well, he did a terrible job.” It didn’t sting as much anymore – really. Given how much your friendship or whatever had evolved with him now, the words didn’t echo through your mind like they used to. You understood why he had made his choices and you could see his remorse in every interaction you’ve had since. Of course, it wasn’t possible to erase what had happened but you and Steve both looked back at it differently now.

Natasha relaxed again, pressing her back into the couch. “I have known Steve for a long time and I have rarely seen him act as selfishly as he did. You deserved better than a breakup over a phone call. Jesus, when he told me what he said – I should have gut punched him. In an attempt to protect you, he fucked up something good for you both. It’s bullshit and embarrassing.” Another sigh escaped her. “And, you didn’t hear this from me, but Steve has never let himself be happy. Because this world and this work can really leave you numb. He was so different once you came into his life, it was something else. So, I was rooting for you two.”

You couldn’t help but feel your cheeks warm up with her last sentence. This seemed like something rare, a secret revealed from someone prone to privacy. 

“I see why he made his self sacrifice with you. It is classic Steve, if he cares about something, he cares deeply and shows it.” She pinned you with a stare, giving you another once over. “Here’s the thing. You get to decide if you want to forgive him but if you look back over everything – every single moment with Steve – was there a pattern that makes forgiveness worth it?” Her phone, which had been resting on the couch beside her leg, started to vibrate. “Shit. I’ve gotta take this.”  

Natasha stepped away briefly, keeping her tone hushed.

Christ, you probably need a therapist to start unpacking everything that Natasha had just presented. Was there a pattern?

Yes.

Every single action from Steve since the beginning had been, well, selfless. He was constantly putting your needs above everything else. The day you saved him outside the restaurant, he took you to the one person he trusted the most for care. When you called him in distress during your apartment break in, he didn’t hesitate to come help you.

He picked up on your subtleties, your fears and concerns. He moved you to a safer apartment, he protected you from unsavoury people, he pleaded for your understanding, he always left you feeling satisfied. More importantly, he let himself be himself around you. You loved seeing the personal, soft side of Steve. You.. you loved Steve. And maybe it was time to take the leap of faith again - because you missed him when he wasn’t around. 

Fuck. 

Before your logical brain could catch up and decide what to do with this revelation, Natasha was standing in front of you again. Her eyes were hiding something.

You held your breath when she finally spoke.

“So, speaking of Steve…”

–––

Ever since that night, at the abandoned warehouse, on that rooftop.. Steve had been on edge. More than before. You were constantly on his mind, and despite his efforts to ensure you were safe, he couldn’t settle. 

Well, until he got to hear your voice every night. That… that started to mean more to him than he could explain. It was different this time around - the slow build to flirting, wrapped underneath a foundation of familiarity. 

But it felt like that spark from before had returned, though he couldn’t act on it. 

He couldn’t. He wouldn’t.

Bucky had been his voice of reason through all of the confusing feelings. He kept Steve grounded in reality - that the ball was in your court only, forever. If you were ever going to humour Steve again, it was your choice, at your pace. And maybe it would never happen. Bucky had reminded Steve more than once. 

Every agonizing decision Steve was making lately had you at the forefront. Maybe it wouldn’t end up how he wanted it, but if you were safe and secure and happy, nothing else mattered.

Though it had been completely irrational for Steve to make the crew rush to your apartment on a Friday night, the precautionary gamble ended up paying off. Not only were you perfectly safe, but Steve had somehow managed to end up with an invitation to dinner with your friends.

And dinner had gone surprisingly well too. The moments with you and in your world, away from his own, had been so calming. A reminder that life existed outside of the seedy underbelly, where friendly conversation and good food were the only reason why people got together. God, he had enjoyed every minute of it. But more than anything, he was happy to be at your side.

Leaving your doorway that night with just a simple kiss on the cheek had been hard for him to do. But everything needed to go at your pace. If that meant an inappropriate late night phone call, he’d help you out, too. 

He was fucked.

Admittedly, the past few days had been a welcome distraction following Saturday night. Some events in his business life ended up escalating way quicker than Steve had anticipated - which largely meant ignoring other priorities (and thoughts of you) to assist Bucky with his latest project - the dog fighting ring investigation.

Steve had kept Rhodes in the loop about their plan, much to the former DA’s dismay. Steve had made it his own personal mission to take down this underground operation and he promised Rhodes the public credit. But Steve needed the NYPD to turn a blind eye to their plan.

The ambush took place that Wednesday afternoon, with Bucky, Steve, Sam and a few additional men breaking into an abandoned facility in north Queens and going in with plenty of ammunition. They recovered nearly a dozen dogs, most of which immediately went to a veterinary hospital to be checked out. The pups who didn’t need overnight care were to be transferred to Kate’s facility for the weekend, with the costs covered by Steve.

But, after all was said and done, not everyone had left unscathed. Four of the people organizing the dog fighting were sent to a hospital with some severe wounds thanks to Bucky. And Steve, out of all people, had ended up with a pretty dramatic gash in his left arm from one of the dogs. He didn’t blame the poor animal for the situation, of course. But medical attention was necessary.

That was how he ended up at his mom’s clinic - once again. Sarah Rogers had, of course, greeted him warmly then delivered a firm lecture to him about his personal safety.

Just as Sarah was finishing up cleaning his arm and applying a few temporary sutures to the area, there was a small commotion happening somewhere beyond their room at the entrance.

Steve didn’t hesitate to rush towards the lobby area, finding the intake nurse addressing someone at the door. That’s when he saw who that someone was - you.

Maybe he had lost more blood than he thought, but damn. With the late afternoon sunset streaming in, backlighting you perfectly, it looked like a halo of light. A perfect ring of light framing you, like an angel - as you desperately asked the front desk nurse about Steve, where he was, if he was okay.

The nurse was caught in a repetitive loop, explaining that she couldn’t say who was at the clinic and insisting that dogs weren’t allowed in the building and you needed to leave and –

Steve took a few steps forward, calling out your name. 

Sarah hurried behind the desk and calmed down the girl who sat there, quietly pulling her to the side to leave Steve alone. With you.

“Steve!” You blinked twice and rushed towards him, stopping yourself before you crashed into his chest. “Natasha told me you were here and.. What happened?” You reached out and carefully grabbed his arm, where fresh gauze covered the bite.

Steve answered quickly, removing your hand from his arm and raising it up to kiss the back. “It looks worse than it is, I promise.”

You smiled at him and nodded. “Okay. Good.” Then you took a deep breath. “And all the dogs - they’re safe?”

“Yes, sweetheart. All receiving the care and rest they deserve.” Before Steve realized what was happening, you were throwing your arms around him. He whispered your name softly, rubbing a hand down your back. 

You pulled back and met his soft gaze. “Steve..” You scanned over him again, as if double checking what he said was true. Aside from the bandaging on his arm, Steve truthfully was unharmed. His emotions had been a rollercoaster but for some reason, seeing you had helped settle most of that.

His hand moved and cradled your jaw for just a moment, before brushing against your cheek. “Did you rush all the way here because you were worried about me?”

Your eyes widened before you shook your head. “What? No. I’m not.. It was Hercules, actually, who wanted to make sure all the dogs were okay.” 

Steve couldn’t hold back his grin. “Right.”

“We-” You motioned your head towards Hercules, who was sitting patiently nearby - “weren’t sure what Natasha meant when she said you were injured and..” A long slow breath escaped you. “I just needed to see you.”

Steve could understand your panic, given how he had dramatically rushed to your apartment building over the weekend. Those parallels weren’t lost on him. It had to mean something, right? It all had to mean something.

Your reunion was interrupted by Steve’s ringing phone, where he cursed under his breath before moving his hands from you. “I’ve gotta take this, I’m sorry.”

While Steve took his call from Bucky, you were quickly greeted by an excited Sarah, who grabbed your hand and pulled you away to catch up.

–––

Following your reunion at the clinic, Steve had one of his hands on you. Behind your back, holding your hand, his own hand on your knee on the drive back. He only let go briefly to let you hug Sarah goodbye, after you accepted her invitation to Thanksgiving dinner the next day.

Now, back at your apartment, all you could think about was what was Steve, Steve, Steve. His phone had buzzed with another call from Bucky the moment you stepped inside. He apologized before answering, and you could have sworn you heard him cursing his friend out.

You refreshed Hercules water and food bowls then went into your bedroom, trying to tidy the place up. When you went to pull your blinds down, you couldn’t help but find yourself distracted by the city. Although your view wasn’t as impressive as Steve’s penthouse, you could see into the Brooklyn streets below. At the right angle, you could even see the final orange glow of the sunset through some of the buildings.

It had proved to be a big enough distraction because you didn’t even hear Steve end his call or walk into the room behind you. Instead, you felt his hands on your shoulders, slowly wrapping around and pulling you against his chest. His lips brushed the top of your head.

“Everything good?” You murmured as his hands started to trail their way down your body.

“Mmhmm,” Steve replied quietly, dipping his head down, breathing hot against the side of your neck. “Is this okay?”

You closed your eyes. “Yes but..” It took everything in you to pause, but you turned around in his arms and did just that. “Wait.”

He immediately stopped what he was doing, removing his hands from you as he searched your face. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing,” you answered too quickly. 

He said your name knowingly then repeated himself. “What’s wrong, sweetheart?”

“Okay, okay. I’m just going to say it. Steve, I want this again - with you. I want us to press reset but I’m really fucking scared.”

You watched Steve absorb your words. Telling the truth was something you knew you had to do, but you hoped Steve understood. He was still, but you could see his brain computing.

“And it’s not about the… rooftop thing. Although.. I definitely don’t think back to that night fondly.” You shook your head as you continued. “I’m scared you’re going to change your mind again. Because I don’t know if I can feel like that again. I’ve convinced myself that the good feelings outweigh that risk but..” Your voice cracked. “I’m scared.”

Steve grabbed your hands and turned you enough to help you sit on the bed. He crouched down in front of you, tracing his thumbs across your knees. “Sweetheart. Hurting you was the biggest regret of my life. I know my words can only mean so much but I want you to hear me.” You met his gaze and nodded. “I’m an idiot. An idiot who will do everything in his power to prove to you how much you mean to me. I can’t undo what I said and resetting doesn’t make it go away. But I love you and want to make this work for us if you’ll give me this chance.”

You raised your hands and cradled his face. “That was quite the speech.”

He smirked. “I mean it, baby. Every word.”

“Okay.” You took in another breath then let it out slowly.

“Okay?” Steve asked.

“Okay, let’s reset.” Your hands left his cheeks, carding through his hair as your lips crashed into his. Kissing Steve didn’t feel like going back to the beginning though - it felt like picking up where you left off. 

Steve didn’t waste a moment responding, hands traveling to the back of your neck to steady you as he pushed you down on the bed. Everything happening now, in that moment, was all that mattered to you both. Steve wanted you, you wanted him. Nothing else needed to make sense.

Your hands roamed down Steve’s torso as he hovered over you, pulling at his shirt and trying to make quick work of the buttons. Steve shed his shirt without his lips leaving you, pressing hot wet kisses against your cheek, down towards your neck. Your eyes fluttered shut at the sensation, gasping when his teeth grazed your shoulder.

“Less clothes,” he whined out, removing himself from you long enough for your top to come off. He stood off the bed briefly to slip out of his pants, while you shimmied out of your jeans. You were left in just your underwear, some very unsexy unmatched set. 

But lord, the way Steve looked at you. 

“You’re so beautiful,” he said firmly, crawling back over you on the bed. He braced himself above you again, tracing a finger up your jaw to tip your chin up. 

You felt your cheeks grow warm. “Steve..”

‘“I’m sorry if what I said… on that phone call - if it ever made you doubt how fucking beautiful you are.” He dipped his head down and met your lips again, softer this time. “I love you, the shape of your body..” He trailed his kisses down you again, towards your chest. “Your heart..” His hands moved down the same way, tracing gently across your chest, along your soft stomach, on top of every single piece of you that you didn’t always love. “I love all of you.”

“Steve,” you whimpered under his touch, squeezing your eyes shut. “Please don’t make me cry.” You choked out a laugh, tipping your head back to mind your happy tears. When you looked back, he was staring at you with a lovestruck smile again. “Thank you. I love you too.”

He grinned, once again leaning down to press his lips to your skin. This time, it was just above your belly button. “It’s okay to cry, sweetheart. But how about I make you come instead?”

How could you argue with that?

Steve surveyed your form intently as he got back to work, hands and lips peppering against your skin. He slid his fingers under the waistband of your underwear and slid them down your legs. You helped to kick them away, just as Steve was licking his lips. 

His eyes flicked to you. “Lay back, baby. Get comfortable.” 

You were quick to shift on the bed, into your pillows. Just as you rested your head back, you felt the bed sink slightly just between your legs. Then the soft kisses that had been decorating your skin were inside your thighs. And then–

You let out a whimper when his mouth met your center. You knew you were already wet, but when Steve growled against your clit and slid a finger into you, it felt like a flood. 

“Oh my g-god, Steve.” With one hand, you grasped at his hair. The other dragged across your chest, pulling your own bra down to grab your nipples. “Yes, yes, please.”

Your eyes squeezed shut, breathless as Steve continued stroking, suctioning against your clit as your moans grew louder. When another finger entered you, crooked inside in search of just the right spot, you nearly combusted. And when you did careen over the edge just moments later, Steve didn’t slow down. 

In a daze you sat up slightly to watch him work. He was drowning in you, his own hips grinding against the bed as he consumed you. Jesus fucking Christ - that was hot. Steve was hot. This - this was hot.

“Steve,” you called for him as his mouth finally slowed down, returning to slow kisses against the inside of your thighs again. He looked up and met your eyes, drunk with love and contentment. “I need to feel you - please.”

“Okay, baby,” he replied with a soft smile. “Let me take care of you.” He shucked off his boxers and crawled up the bed again, hovering above you once more. 

You raked your hands over his chest when he was close enough, gripping his hips as you pulled him down and kissed him. Your own taste lingered on his lips and tongue as he breathed into you.

“You ready?” He asked softly, reaching between your waists to position himself.

“Mmhmm,” you whispered, pressing another kiss against him. “Please.”

“Fuck,” Steve cursed out, eyes closing as he pushed himself in. God, you fit together so well. Once he felt comfortable, watching you for the right signs of pleasure, he moved out slowly before finding a rhythm.

“Steve, I missed you so much..”  You wrapped your hands around his neck, in an attempt to keep him as close to you as possible. With one hand, he held one of your legs up, just enough to elicit better friction. And with the other, he cradled the back of your neck. “Missed this - this stretch..”

You could feel him smiling as he kissed you again. His hips sped up, adding just enough extra pressure that you could really feel him. You’d feel him tomorrow, too.

“My girl,” he said breathlessly against your neck. “Always. Mine..” His mouth ravaged your neck and shoulders. “Want this forever.. Want you forever..” He slowed down momentarily. “Wanna fill you up, baby.”

“Yes, yes please..” you said in return, scratching across his back with your hands as you braced yourself. A low growl escaped him as he came. He tensed up as he finished, weight heavy on top of you as you both caught your breaths.

As his head rested near yours, his lips pressed against your earlobe. “You’re so beautiful, sweetheart. I love you.”

You were still laying in a daze when Steve returned to you in the bed after cleaning up, placing a cup of tea on the bedside table closest to you. His own matching cup rested in his hands. You sat up, pulling up the sheet with you as you rested against the headboard.

Shifting slightly, you pivoted to look at him. “I really missed you.”

He grinned. “So you said.”

“No, not just that.” You gave his shoulder a small nudge, careful not to jostle his tea. “I just like being around you.”

His smile softened. “Me too.” He drew in a long breath and moved his cup to the side table before continuing. He said your name, drawing your gaze to his. “Resetting doesn’t make who I am go away.”

You gulped. “I know.” He seemed to be searching for what to say next, so you continued instead. “I can’t pretend to understand why you do what you do. And I don’t decide what is right and wrong. Neither of us do.” You took a deep breath. “But I want to be with you. That makes me feel a little bit crazy but maybe that’s part of being in love.”

Steve laughed. “You’re in love, huh.”

Rolling your eyes, you fell into his side. “Yeah, unfortunately.”

“And I love you, baby.” He wrapped his arms around you and pulled you against his chest, against his heart. He kissed your forehead. “I’m going to keep my professional life at bay. I won’t be able to stop it from bleeding into this but I promise you I will do everything in my power to keep you safe. I take that privilege seriously.” You felt him squeeze you a bit tighter. “Though I do think there are some precautions we can take, too.”

“We?” You pulled back slightly and watched him.

“I’m going to get you something for your keys and pepper spray for your bag. How would you feel about taking a self-defense class?”

You scrunched up your face as you considered. “It has been on my to-do list for a long time.” Even without a high profile partner like Steve, knowing you feel prepared in times of danger was something you knew was important. You probably should have prioritized it sooner, really.

“Natasha teaches a class, actually. At her gym.”

“Natasha has a gym?” You nodded. “Yeah, okay. I could do that. Will you take the class with me?”

Steve laughed again. “I don’t need self-defense training, sweetheart.”

“But then we can practice together. C’mon, pleeease.”

Steve groaned, but it was evident very quickly he’d do anything you asked. So, he nodded. “Fine.”

You paused. “You’re not going to make me carry a gun, are you?”

“First of all, I’d never make you do anything.” He sat up a bit straighter, face stern. “And no, absolutely not. I hope you are never in a position where that kind of defense is required.”

You settled against him again. Big conversations like this were expected and you knew it made sense to feel a bit scared still. But, that wasn’t the feeling lingering in your stomach anymore. No, it was more like… safety, contentment, familiarity.

It was something akin to being home.

–––

Shield closed down on Christmas Eve and reopened on New Years Eve, so you weren’t sure why Steve needed to check in there in the middle of the holiday week. Sure, his office was upstairs but he had vowed to do as little work as possible over your days off together. And yet, after a lovely dinner together, he apologetically announced there was something there he needed to check in on.

You had shared a few delicious plates at May’s, a small Italian place in Queens. Steve had given you a history of the restaurant on your way - it was one of the first properties he invested in years ago so it was clearly a special place. When you arrived, the server had immediately showed you to a more intimate table tucked away in the back corner. 

Wine and food arrived at the table without a menu or many words exchanged between the server and Steve. After you had finished eating - polishing off one of the best tiramisus you had ever tasted - the restaurant owner, May, came out to say hello.

When you left without mentioning a bill, you had a feeling that the business Steve did with May extended beyond just being a landlord. You didn’t ask any questions though.

Over the last month with Steve, the questionable moments were quite rare. He really did maintain the boundary between his personal life and everything else, with only a bit of a crossover. You had joined him at the club a few times - because you realized dating the club owner eliminated all the awful things you hated about going out. You never had to wait for entrance or for a drink ever again. Your friends especially liked the free drinks and safe rides home, too.

That was only a fringe benefit of being with Steve though. What really stood out to you was just Steve. Getting to know each other all over again had been exciting and fulfilling, in many ways. 

You kept up your nightly phone calls. Well, when you weren’t crashing at his or him dropping into your bed, you kept up the calls. You had spent Thanksgiving with him at Sarah’s and were greeted with boxes of childhood photos to fawn over. For Christmas, you, Steve and Sarah had all travelled up to Albany to spend the day cooking and celebrating with your mom. 

Slowly, it seemed your worlds would be blending together. And you weren’t really sure what the future was going to hold and how that might transpire, but you decided it was worth seeing what could happen. Because being with Steve seemed worth it.

“I promise this won’t take too long,” Steve’s voice broke you from your thoughts, as he parked his car near the back exit of the club. It was a small lot reserved for Steve and Shield staff members only, currently only occupied by one other black car. You weren’t sure who that belonged to. Maybe Natasha was there doing inventory of the bar before New Years.

You gave him a smile from the passenger seat, leaning over to meet his lips for a kiss. “Remember that we have a big day of sleeping in without an alarm tomorrow so..” He smirked. “Take all the time you need.”

Steve bounded out of the car and raced around to help you out, extending his hand to ensure you stepped safely onto the asphalt. You had dressed up for dinner, picking out your favourite black dress paired with some heels that didn’t cause you too much pain to walk in. Steve had grinned like a schoolboy when he picked you up, which made you feel, well, beautiful. You had paired the dress with your Christmas gift from him - a stunning gold and diamond pendant, shaped like a wing. A matching wing now sat with the chain on his neck, too.

You clutched Steve’s hand as you headed through the backdoor of the club. From the dark back hallway, you could have sworn you could hear music playing somewhere. Maybe it was just the memory of whatever song was just playing in Steve’s car.

As you twisted down the hallway, past the back office, storage rooms, and the back stairs up towards the second floor, the music grew a bit louder. You definitely heard music. You tried to ask Steve what was going on but he just squeezed your hand, threw a mischievous grin over his shoulder and carried on.

When you finally made it to the main club area, it was still pitch black. The music kept playing. You grasped both of Steve’s hands in a panic and by the time you had formed a sentence to ask a worried question, the lights powered on.

But it wasn’t the regular industrial overhead lights. Nor was it the multicoloured pot lights that danced around to match the beat of the club music. No, this was something else. 

Above you, the multicoloured lights were steady and emitting just a soft blue tone. Across the open railings above, partitioning off the downstairs area from the VIPs upstairs, various strands of string lights were hung and illuminated. It made the club area feel almost intimate. 

You dropped Steve’s hands and turned around, speechless as you took it all in. On the end of the bar, you spotted a bottle of champagne sitting on ice with two matching glasses waiting. The music playing above you switched to something softer. An old song crackled through the speakers.

You turned back to Steve, who was gazing at you.

He stepped towards you, hand extended. “Dance with me, sweetheart?”

How could you say no to that request?

Steve helped you take off your coat and  discarded his own. Then he pulled you towards the very center of the room, under a now spinning disco ball that splashed flickers of light around the space. 

“Steve,” you started, resting your head against his chest. One of his palms cradled the small of your back while the other grasped your hand, hovering in the air as he led you in slow circles.. “Did you do this all just for me?”

He chuckled. You could feel it rumble through him. “Bucky helped me out.”

You smiled, squeezing his hand in response. You didn’t know what to say. 

And maybe that was okay, because at that moment, it was just you and Steve. He pressed a kiss to the top of your head. “I promise I’ll always dance with you.”

FIN

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Author's Note: Thank you again so much for reading! I have a few ideas for additional one shots in this AU, including a smutty little threesome fic and a small story with Bucky and a girl from the club. if you have any questions or want to know more about this universe or Steve and Reader, please please drop into my inbox or the comments!! love you all!!