#i only use paper towels if i need to eat something like bread w a lot of flour bc u can reuse it

[mare-the-silly-scroingle]

i keep trying to vocalize this but i fuck it up every time so just a very cut and dry ramble but like. sparing the long explanations i keep giving i grew up economically privileged so maybe im an asshole forthinking abt this but. im not sure how i feel abt my gf going to a luxury spa or whatever after implying that her mom might have kicked out an underage tenant for not paying rent? like im not irrational i get how that works also i don't know if i can really act like her and i use money differently but like. also. uh. not sure i love how we just moved on from that bit and she's buying like $500 worth of clothes. is that a dick thing i fele like im being a dick

[weaselle]

cooking for people who have no idea what they are doing (or are just, like, real depressed)

Okay, I’m a professional cook, but also, I get depressed. This is the cooking I do when I’m depressed, because I need the simplest path to a whole meal.

This is not for vegetarians, because, while I wholeheartedly support people choosing vegetarianism, and also enjoy cooking for vegetarians, for me, the simplest path to a meal includes meat. Perhaps when I am less depressed I will work on options.

A lot of recipes focus on achieving food that is in some way special, using special techniques, or using a precise list of carefully measured high-end ingredients... and that’s not this, this is all the parts of cooking that are not those things.

First, shopping

Meats Starches Veggies Sauces Breakfast/Snack

For a whole week you’re going to want

3 kinds of meat, with five portions each. So, for example, five chicken breasts, 10 sausage links, and 2-3 pounds of ground beef. Other possibilities include pork chops, salmon, some kind of steak, whatever. 

You’re going to want up to 3 starches. Honestly I usually stick to just rice, but you can go with rice, potatoes, and pasta. If you want to use quinoa or polenta or something, thats on you.

And, you’re going to want about 3 types of vegetables, again, about 5 portions each -- and try to stay green. So personally, I usually get 5 medium zucchini, 2 medium heads of broccoli, and then either yellow squash or mushrooms. A bag of salad greens is also a good option, and I have an easy way to make a good salad, which I will do as a separate post.

Next pick something easy that works as either breakfast or a snack. For me this is a loaf of bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a bunch of bananas. Sometimes it’s nice to have an additional option here, like cereal or yogurt. 

Last, you’ll want 2-5 sauces in bottles. I would definitely recommend a low sodium soy sauce be one of them, and maybe a BBQ sauce for the other. I usually also include worcestershire and sriracha but go with whatever you want, teriyaki sauce, A1, whatever you know you’ll eat. Hell, you can use Italian style salad dressing as a cookable sauce if you really want.

Oh, and If you don’t already have some at the house, you’ll need pan lube: butter and/or some kind of cooking oil. 

Okay! we’re done shopping! Affordability isn’t the main focus here, but is undeniably important -- I live in a very expensive area, this shopping trip is going to feed me well for a week and costs me about $100 bucks. When I was living in Alabama, it probably would have cost me more like $70. You won’t need to get stuff like the sauce and rice and peanut butter every week, so you’re definitely looking at a monthly grocery bill of something like $300 depending on where you live, and that’s not too bad. 

Prep

hell no, I’m depressed, the only prep I’m doing is putting two packages of meat in the freezer and the rest of this stuff in the fridge. You CAN box or bag each portion of meat separately so you can really alternate what you eat -- me, I’m gonna eat chicken for two or three days, then beef for two or three days, etc.

and listen, don’t fuck around with microwave settings or running water on things to defrost them. If you package the meat all up separately, just move a portion from the freezer to the fridge each time you cook dinner. Or, if you do like me, move the whole package when you go to cook your last portion of the previous stuff, and just deal with the fact that it will probably still be a tiny bit frozen when you go to cook next.

Tip: When you cook dinner, you’re going to make enough for lunch. That just leaves you one small meal - I often smear peanut butter on a peice of bread and wrap it around a banana like a taco - fast, easy, practically no dishes, relatively healthy

____________________________________________________________

Cooking (this is going to take about 25 minutes)

You’re going to need

ONE frying pan, medium size w/ lid ONE boil pot, medium size w/ lid knife, a spatula and a cutting board.

If you want to be fancy, you can include a big spoon. Looks like this

No matter what the specific ingredients you’ve chosen, the basic format is going to be:

Start your starch heat pan, put meat in the pan flip meat and add veggies, cover with lid remove meat and add sauce finish starch put everything on a plate while it is still too hot to eat and you are standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the like, 4 dishes you’ve gotten dirty. eat.

Okay, before you even get everything else out, start your starch. For rice this means rinse the rice and put it in the cold water and set it on high heat, for pasta this means put your salted water on the stove on high heat. For potatoes, you can use my perfect mashed potatoes recipe (I’ll do that as a separate post) or, honestly, you can wait until you’re halfway done with the rest of everything and microwave the sucker for like 8 minutes. I would never do that in a restaurant, but trying to feed my lethargic depressed ass? Absolutely.

easy rice: Fill your smallest coffee cup with rice, put it in the pot. Rinse. Fill the same cup twice with water, add to rice. Bring to a boil, give a good stir, turn heat all the way down, put a lid on it for something like 15 more minutes.

Okay, now lube your pan. Butter, olive oil, whatever. You’re probably looking at an amount more than a teaspoon and less than a table spoon of whichever you use. Personally I try to use as little olive oil as possible, so I pour a large coin sized amount (a quarter in the U.S.) into the pan, ear off a piece of the paper towel I’m going to use as my napkin for the evening, fold it up tight, and sort of paint the oil around so a little goes a longer way.

Pan lubed? Great, turn your burner on. highest heat will work but is not ideal, medium heat will work better but is still not ideal. Halfway between the two is perfect for chicken, a little hotter for beef, a little lower for fish.

Now remove two portions of your chosen protein (that way you’ll have tomorrow’s lunch too). By the time you get the packaging open and stuff, your pan is probably hot. If it’s not, let it get hot. You don’t want the oil to start smoking (warning, butter will burn faster than oil) but if you shake a single drop of water off your finger into the pan, you want it to sizzle.

If your pan is hot, put your meat in. The more you do this, the more you’ll perfect the timing, but you’re going to cook it for ~about~ 7 minutes before you flip it, maybe a couple minutes longer if it’s chicken or pork, maybe a couple minutes less if it’s beef.

Now that your meat is in, prepare your veggie. Rinse it off, cut off any part of it you don’t want to eat, and then cut what’s left into pieces the size of a large bite. Don’t worry, it’s going to get a little smaller when you cook it. Take your time, you’ll probably finish in less time than the meat needs.

Time to flip your meat? Great. Do that, and then dump your chopped up veggie in the pan. It does not matter at all if the pieces are not touching the bottom of the pan -probably most of them will not be, a bunch will be on top of the meat, that’s fine.

Put a lid on it. Now add your pasta to the water, or put your potato in the microwave, or check your rice. If following my perfect mashed potato recipe, mash now.

Rice tip, checking: eat a grain, you want zero crunch. If it’s not done and there’s no liquid, add a splash of water and stir. It it’s done or close to done, but it is still very wet, give it a big stir and leave on the stove with the lid off for a couple minutes.

Your meat still has like, at least 4 minutes, so rinse off your cutting board and chef knife, get out a plate, table knife and fork.

 Meat done? Great. Take the meat out of the pan, leaving the veggies in. Add sauce to the pan. I like to also use a little wine, because it’s usually already in the house, if you have some and want to, pour a large swallow of wine in the pan with the sauce. I’ll often mix a couple sauces, like worcestershire and soy (makes something similar to teriyaki) or hot sauce and BBQ

Stir the sauce around with the veggies. This, called deglazing, is an important step for two reasons, 1: it will get up a lot of the flavorful stuff that has stuck to the pan and make your sauce better, and 2: it will make washing the pan much easier. Okay, put the lid back on for one to two minutes, maybe stir a couple times. Basically you want the sauce to stain the veggies.

Your starch should be done, turn off the burner, put a portion on your plate, and stick the rest in a ziplock or tupperware or something. Go ahead and throw the second portion of meat right in there with it. 

Turn off the stove and scoop the veggies onto the plate, and pour the sauce from the pan over everything.

Now, while it’s too hot to eat, and you’re standing in the kitchen anyway, wash the pot, pan, and spatula. It should be very easy because of the way you used the sauce and because nothing has had a chance to harden. This usually takes me about 2 full minutes.

__________________________________________________________

OKAY! it’s been 20-25 minutes, you’ve got dinner and tomorrow’s lunch (just add another cut up veggie, pour a different sauce on, and put it in the microwave for two or three minutes) AND there’s no danger of dishes piling up on you :) You can even add “washing last night’s plate and fork for use tonight” to where you rinse the cutting board to really keep it full circle.

It’s not gormet. It IS accessibly healthy, affordable, and easy.

If you are extra depressed, forget the starch and use more veggies; this cuts what little work there is by up to half

Using this format, you can have three good meals per day and only spend 30 total minutes a day in the kitchen — including clean up! (dishes piling up tends to exacerbate my depression and makes cooking your next meal harder)

And it’s easy to give yourself a wide variety, from soy glazed chicken, zucchini and rice one night; to steak, mushrooms and pasta the next; followed by BBQ pork chops, brocoli and potatoes... I suck at math but there’s probably a hundred options

Just to recap, because I know I was very detailed and this might seem overwhelming, once you read through the above to answer any questions you might have, simply

-Start your starch -lube & heat pan, put meat in the pan, about 7 minutes -flip meat, add veggies, lid, about 7 minutes -wash knife and cutting board -remove meat and add sauce to veggies, re-lid, 1-2 minutes -finish starch, refrigerate extra meat and starch  -put everything left on a plate -wash pot and pan -eat.

[izukuwus]

Sweet Words, Sweetcheeks

A/N: Day 13 of @birds-have-teeth​’s Izumonth server collab.

Summary: It’s been some time since you and Izuku took the plunge and bought the bakery, and Izuku couldn’t be happier working together with you towards both of your dreams. Well, except for one thing. (baker!Izuku x reader)

Warnings: brush ur teeth cus this one’s straight sugar

Word count: 2100+

A mop of green hair and matching eyes poke around the corner as you enter Lemon Wedge, the bell above the door signifying your arrival. "You're back! Any issues with the delivery?"

"Not a one!" you chirp, stifling a giggle at the sight of Izuku with flour dusting his clothing, frosting smeared on his cheek. "Have any of you boys eaten yet?"

A chorus of 'yes' sounds from the back room, causing you to sigh. "Anything that isn't on our menu?"

No one answers. You roll your eyes, making your way around the counter and rattling some bags of takeout loudly. "Alright, if any of you aren't doing something you absolutely cannot put down right this moment—which at least one of you should be, given I left you guys alone to deliver all those cakes this morning—come eat your fill." The boys have been giving you the runaround all day, your normal delivery driver having called out this morning with an embarrassingly pathetic attempt to sound sick.

"I'm free!" Kiri shouts enthusiastically. 

"I am as well," Tokoyami says, dusting flour off his hands. You watch as both boys make their way to the sinks to wash up.

Izuku lets out a whine from where he stands at his workstation, painstakingly kneading bread. "This batch has thirty more minutes of kneading before it's ready to proof, but I don't want the food to get cold..."

You set one bag of food down on a clean counter for Kirishima and Tokoyami to dig into, humming as you approach your boyfriend. "They're subs, babe. You don't have to worry about them getting cold."

You set the bag containing yours and his food on an adjacent counter, popping up on your toes and making like you're going in for a kiss. He's quick to respond, which makes it all the funnier when a disappointed whine leaves his lips as you lean over and lick the smear of frosting off his cheek.

"Angelcake, don't tease me~"

You smile, nuzzling against his cheek for a moment. "Sorry, sweetcheeks. Ya had something on your face there." 

"You're lucky I've got this bread to pay attention to, you—"

The bell rings as a customer enters. You bop his nose gently. "I'll be right with you~" you croon, practically skipping off to the front counter to deal with the customer.

Izuku waits. As Kirishima and Tokoyami go off to eat, he waits. As he listens to your sweet customer service voice while you talk to the customer, he waits. And when you're done and good and the customer has been served with a smile, Izuku waits.

When you return, he launches a small pinch of flour directly into your face.

You splutter, reaching up to wipe at your face in pure shock. "Did you just..."

"Maybe," he says, trying hard not to laugh as you stand there with flour dusting your face.

"I was coming back over here to lovingly hand-feed you your sub and you just..."

"I'll still take the sub?" he tries, batting his eyelashes innocently.

You sigh, heading over to the sink and wiping your face with some damp paper towels. "Nope, you lost your chance. Eat after you get that bread proofing, sweetcheeks."

He whines at your dismissal, but can't step away from the bread. You get back to work cleaning, stifling your giggles when his attempt to protest (something along the lines of "I've been kneading bread all day") is cut off by the phone ringing. You answer it in a second, waggling your fingers at Izuku teasingly.

"Hello, you've reached Lemon Wedge Cakes and Bakes, this is [name] speaking! How can I help you?"

Izuku turns back to his bread with a sigh. At least you didn't get a chance to question him. He'd almost ruined—well, that's not important. When you return from jotting down the call-in details, his transgression is forgotten, and you feed him bites of his sub between kisses and clean dishes.

~

Izuku leaves the bakery for the night before you do. Often, since you live together, either your shifts are at the same times to make transportation easy or he'll simply hang around and relax while waiting for your own shift to end, which usually results in him helping you with closing whether you want him to or not. Most nights, however, if schedules and workloads don't permit, he'll head home first to buy dinner for the both of you to eat when you're home, usually being too tired from being in a kitchen all day to get back in the kitchen to handle dinner. Tonight is one of the nights in which Izuku goes on ahead, leaving you to handle the storefront and get everything closed up while the high schooler at the register handles the last of the sales for the night.

When you finally arrive home, it's hours after Izuku, and honestly, you're excited to just get off your feet, crash on the couch, and watch some vapid reality show with takeout balanced on your chest and Izuku's hand in yours. What greets you, though, isn't takeout and reality shows. Izuku's head pops out from the kitchen with a broad grin. "Welcome home, angel!"

The living room is clean, the dining room lit with candles as the smell of something homey greets you. Izuku's hair is fluffy and damp, implying he's taken a shower since his shift at the bakery. You hear the sound of water running, then Izuku rushes over to meet you at the door with a kiss. "I missed you," he breathes against your lips, effortlessly picking your feet off the floor with his hug.

You snort, playfully pushing him away. His arms hold you tight to his chest, though—no escape from Izuku's love. "Izuku, it's been four hours."

"Four long hours!" 

You giggle and kiss him on the nose. "I missed you too." Your arms wind around his neck, rewarding his affection by relaxing into his hug as he sets you down. "What's all this? I thought we were getting Chinese tonight."

Izuku rubs the back of his neck. "Well, I thought I'd—you know, do something nice for you. You're always taking care of me, and we've been working so hard since we bought the bakery, and..."

Another soft kiss, this time pressed to his lips. "You cleaned everything up and cooked for me?"

"Myeah," he says, muffled as you continue to press kisses to his face. "There's cake, too."

"Oh, Izu. I love it. Thank you so much." As you pull back, prepared to sit down, kick your shoes off, and finally eat, a thought occurs to you. "Does all this have anything to do with why Denki called out this morning with no notice claiming to be suffering a, quote, '24 hour leprosy attack'?"

"Don't be mad, he tried his best," Izu says, ruffling your hair. "Are you hungry? Because the food's ready if you are."

"Hungry and exhausted." You press into his touch with a smile. "I swear I could marry you." Whatever he mutters in response, you don't quite catch. "What's that, Izu?"

"N-nothing!" he squeaks. "Come on, you should sit down. I'll get your food." He disappears into the kitchen, stumbling on the step into the elevated area with a yelp. "W-what do you want to drink? Is champagne fine?"

"Are you trying to seduce me, Izuku Midoriya?" you tease as you wriggle out of your jacket and kick off your shoes.

"[name] we've been dating for four years."

"And?"

"Of course I'm trying to seduce you," he calls, stifling laughter. "Gotta give you a reason to stick around, you know?"

"As if you're ever getting rid of me." You make your way across the room, draping yourself in a chair dramatically. "Honestly, how am I ever going to thank you for this one, babe?"

He emerges from the kitchen, setting a glorious-looking plate of food in front of you. "W-well, you don't have to, but there is one way you could thank me."

You raise an eyebrow. "Oh?"

He sets his own plate of food across the table, smoothing his hands over his pants almost... nervously? "Hold on." He disappears back into the kitchen.

"Wait, no, get back here, tell me what I can do!"

After a moment, he returns, taking level, even breaths as if he's trying to calm himself. "You sure you wanna know?" He smiles, one that's almost forced. You'd be worried for him if you weren't used to his random bouts of nerves. 

"Tell meee," you whine.

He chuckles, circling around behind you so your head rests against his stomach. One arm comes around to hug you as he crouches behind you, pressing a kiss just below your ear. "Okay, okay. Just close your eyes and be patient, okay?"

You grin, but acquiesce, closing your eyes as he brings a hand up to cover them for an added layer of protection. "I-I've never been very good with words, s-so please don't make fun of me if I mess this up."

"It only adds to your charm," you tease, feeling him shuffle around behind you.

"[name]," he whines, "I said be patient."

You mime zipping your lips, letting him continue. He curses under his breath, fumbling for something that just thumped quietly against the floor, and you patiently wait for him to collect himself. He inhales, exhales, and starts again. "Okay. I... I said this earlier, but since we bought Lemon Wedge and started pouring everything into it, you've been working so hard, and I really can't express to you how much your support means to me." The hand that's been frantically shuffling behind your (and—you assume—his) back comes to rest on your chest, a quick kiss being pressed to the top of your head before he continues.

"I've loved you for a long time, longer than the years we've been together. But in the past two years, seeing you put your all into something that's my dream as much as it is yours... I've fallen in love with you all over again, and um..." He pauses for a long moment, taking several deep breaths. "Man, I can only shut up when I need to be able to talk, huh?"

"It's okay," you coo, still unable to see. "You know I'm listening no matter what."

He groans, resting his head atop yours for a moment. "See, you're perfect. Ever since we met, you've been nothing but supportive. I've always been a little insecure, but I've never once doubted that you loved me, because you've always shown that you care. Listening when I talk, even when I've gone off on some crazy tangent and I'm just thinking out loud. Bringing me food during the day so you're sure I've eaten something healthy. You mean the world to me, angelcake. There are days I'm sure I wouldn't have even bothered getting out of bed if I didn't know you'd be there with a smile. And I know, we already live together, I already wake up to you every morning, and that alone is more than I ever could have hoped for, but... wait, hold on, a-are you crying?"

"No," you sniffle, tears running down your cheeks. "Finish your sentence, 'Zuzu."

He presses a quick kiss to your cheek, stopping a line of tears in its tracks before finally removing his hand from your eyes. You gasp at the sight, though really, you already knew it was coming. "If you'll have me, [name]... I'd like it if we could... if you'd..." He lets out a tiny groan. "Sorry, sorry. [name], will you marry me?"

The ring resting on your chest is beautiful. An iridescent fire opal in the center, ringed with small diamonds and emeralds that instantly call your boyfriend—no, fiancé to mind.

You nearly fall off the chair as you flip around to tackle Izuku, crashing your lips to his as he yelps and steadies you. "Hey, c-careful, you could get hurt!"

"It's okay," you sigh against his lips, tears streaming freely down your cheeks. "You'll always catch me. Of course I'll marry you, Izuku. I'll marry you a thousand times, a million, even. Every day you'll have me, if you want it."

Izuku's tears join your own as he sits back, pulling you into his lap on the dining room floor so he can hold you close. "I'm so—so glad."

The dinner is spent in giggling tears as the two of you move to the floor to eat in each other's arms. It's hard to pull away from him, even when you've both decided you need to get off the floor and at least move to the couch. You spend the night cuddled up close to him, admiring your engagement ring with a soft gaze.

Tags: @tooloudarts​ @sapid-rose​ @xxangelpridexx​ @birds-have-teeth​ @icythotsenpai​ @warmchoccymilk​ @wesparklebitch​ @izoodles​ @fujimoribaby​ @my-bnha-things​ @denise-the-death-goddess​ @themerpenguin​ @sincerebubbles​ @themmmelissa @fudobaby​

[buckysgoldenheart]

Safe House: August Walker x Reader

Summary: Someone threatens you and so your boyfriend, August, must take you to his safe house.

Words: 3463

Following part: Part 2 (One Year Later)

Note: Not AU really, but doesn’t follow Mission Impossible at all. This is just how I picture a fluffy August who loves his woman.

P.S. This was not edited phenomenally. I have no excuses to feed you. I was just tired ;)

(There are not enough August Walker gifs in this world)

Safe House:

On the days he told you he would hopefully be coming home to you, you stayed up all night, always, until sunrise. And if he didn’t come home that night, then you worried until the next night. Night after night after night until he walked through that door and you could finally breathe again.

It was an entire week this time, that August left you wondering. More days had gone by past the day he promised you than ever before. He had sent no note delivered by a random man with a riddle only you and August knew the answer to. And that was only in the most extreme of cases. More often there was a phone call, quick but reassuring. Not this time, and images of him being tortured or dying flashed through your mind, consuming you, as your fingers trembled around your coffee mug.

Just as the tears began to stream down your paling cheeks, the multiple locks August demanded you have on your door turned and opened one by one until he could freely walk inside. The weight on your chest lifted and you let out a tiny cry of relief, but August, your boyfriend you went a month and a half without seeing, stormed right passed you into the bedroom.

You sat up sharply and put the mug on the table, following him into the bedroom you shared. He hadn’t bothered to turn on one of the lamps, so all you could really see was his form grab a suitcase from the closet, throw it on the bed, wide open, and begin to shove as much clothing inside it as he could.

You stood in the doorway, your eyes adjusting to the darkness and pushing through the tears clouding them. “August,” you spoke softly, thankful he was alive, but heartbroken he had ignored you on his way in. “August,” you tried a little louder. “What is happening? Are you leaving again?”

“Not me,” he said, pausing for a moment to meet your stare. “We.” Then he turned back to his task of throwing things into a suitcase. “Are ten shirts, seven pairs of pants, two dresses, and four pairs of shoes enough for you?”

“Enough for what?” You asked. “August, you’re scaring me.” You walked in the room and touched his arm, stilling his movements so he would look at you. “What is happening?” His eyes, sadder than you had seen them before, roamed over every inch of your face as if he would never get to see it again. You scrunched your eyebrows in confusion. “August—”

“Do you love me?”

“W-What?”

“You do, don’t you?” He lightly pleaded.

“Of course, I love you, August, but I still do not understand what is going on.”

He sighed in relief, but you didn’t miss the uneasy look on his face. “I’m…fuck…I’m a bit more…higher up than I told you.”

“In…what? Work?”

“Yes.”

You crossed your arms over your middle and swallowed. “What does that mean?”

“I kill more important people than I told you: prime ministers, presidents, royalty, people with families; all of them bad people, but important. I place bombs, I dismantle bombs, both that could and have destroyed half a city.”

“So…was last month in Istanbul—"

“Yes.” He walked over to your dresser and shoved it aside with ease, unlocked the small vault behind it with the pass-code only the two of you knew, and pulled out three guns before placing them between piles of folded clothes in the suitcase. “I have a safe house,” He said. “One even Hunt doesn’t know about.”

“Dad?”

Your eyes widened and he hummed in acknowledgement.

“Dad is with Ilsa, isn’t he? Something about Morocco. That’s all he could say.”

“Yea, he’s been assigned there for a bit. That’s where I am supposed to be, too; right now interrogating the head of the Crown Prince of Morocco’s security because of—” He met your eyes and paused, then shook his head slightly, always unsure of what information could put you in danger, “…certain reasons.”

“I thought you were in London.”

“Yea, I was. Morocco was next. I was going to call you as soon as I could, but…things got complicated.” August quickly walked to the kitchen and returned with a plastic sandwich bag and paper towel, then went to your jewelry box and pulled out two necklaces: one that was your mother’s, and one that he had bought for you when he told you he loved you for the first time. ‘Just in case you were on the fence about me, I thought this might sway you,’ he had said. You laughed, he clasped the necklace around your neck, and you made love over and over, exchanging ‘I love yous” the entire night. Since then, you wore the one he had given you when he moved into your place with the promise that he would never leave you.

You watched as he carefully wrapped up the jewelry in the paper towel, put them in the baggie and zip them safely into a side pocket of the case. “August, please, please tell me that ‘things got complicated’ does not mean that something got fucked up and now my father is supposed to kill you…again.”

“What?” August stopped in his tracks, noticing how every inch of you tensed with stress. “No, baby. No.” He glanced around the room for anything he might have missed. “Anything else you want to take with us?”

You looked around too, not seeing a thing, but then ran into the hallway and took a photo of the both of you off the wall: you and him kissing at your friend’s wedding, both of you completely unaware of the camera man behind you. It clearly showed your love for him and his for you, and so it became, and remained, your favorite.

Back in the room, you placed it on top of everything else in the suitcase, keeping it in the frame to protect it. August smiled at seeing the picture, grabbed your waist, and pulled you close. “I love you,” He whispered, his lips brushing over yours. You smiled slightly and fully placed your mouth to his. All it took was a moment before his hand began to slide around your waist to cup your ass. Then, you reached your arms up and began to twine your fingers in the hair at the nape of his neck, knowing fully well how that turned him on. You had missed his touch so bad, and he yours, so it took no time to feel him hard, pressed against you.

He pulled back fast, huffing out breaths as you chuckled. “We can’t do this now. We really need to get going.”

Your smile fell. “You still haven’t explained.”

“We don’t have a lot of time,” He said, closing the suitcase.

“Give me the short version.”

“Short version,” He mumbled to himself as he pulled the bag off the bed, a small smile on his face at your persistence. “Ok, short version: a guy that I really would rather not know about you, now knows about you.”

“What? Like, a bad guy?”

“Not a super bad one, but…yea.” He cringed as he said the last word. This whole thing was one giant nightmare; his worst, actually. How you weren’t panicking he didn’t know. Maybe it was because you were Hunt’s daughter, but August seemed to feel much more stressed about this than you.

“How? Dad changed me in the system. No one knows my real name but you, him, and the team.”

“I know. We don’t know how. But this guy had your picture and your name, and that was enough for Hunt…and me. Hunt has the guy, but you never know what could happen. He might have people to get him out, he might not, but he made some serious threats and we aren’t risking it, so Hunt and I agreed. I come home, get you and take you somewhere safe that no one else knows about and stay there until further notice.”

You crossed your arms. “And dad is just fine with a man he practically cannot stand coming and taking his daughter away to some random location he can’t track down?”

“Right,” August walked towards you, bag in hand, and motioned you out the door. “Well, he kind of knows about the two of us and figured out of anyone, I’d do the best at protecting you.”

You turned fast with a death glare in your eye and placed a hand on his chest to stop him. “What do you mean he knows about us?”

August sighed knowing now was not the time to do this, but well aware that fighting your stubbornness was a losing game. He ran his free hand through his dark curls. “You said he can’t stand me, right?”

“Yes.”

“He ever tell you why?”

“Not specifically.”

“Well, this is why. He does not like that I assassinate by day and sleep with his daughter by night.”

“Oh my God, August!” Both of your hands shoved at his chest, but the brick wall that was your boyfriend did not move an inch.

“Hey, it’s not all me, ok? After we met, he noticed that I asked about you all the time, but apparently you asked about me all the time, too, so you were no sneakier than I was.” He raised a hand in an ‘oh well’ gesture and stepped around you back into the kitchen.

“Oh God,” You groaned and your head fell back. “…Fine.”

“Peanut butter?” He called.

Annoyed, you said, “Yea.”

Arms crossed again, you rounded the corner and watched the muscles of his shoulders shift a little under his shirt as he took a knife full of peanut butter and slathered it on the bread. “We have an eight-hour drive to the helicopter, three hours flying to the boat, and then it’s just an hour on the boat to the house. How many do you want?”

“Eight. Six for me, two for you.”

August whipped around with a pained expression “Cold.”

“Fine. Five for me, three for you.”

“Better, but still chilly.”

You walked up wrapped your arms around his waist. “You keep it up, I’ll make it seven for me, one for you.”

“You do not know where my safe house is, I do. Choose your words wisely, miss,” he said, then dabbed a bit of the peanut-y goodness on the tip of your nose. “Are you going to eat that, or do I need to lick it off?”

You pretended to think for a moment. “Lick it off.”

He did, and your eyes and nose scrunched as you giggled. “Fuck, I’m just going to bring the jar.”

“Why?”

“You’ll find out later.” He smiled seductively and finished spreading the peanut butter on the bread. “Jam for some, honey for the others?”

“Yea.” He knew you too well.

“You have everything you want?”

You took one last look at the house you and August had secretly—or thought, secretly—shared, not knowing when, or if, you would be back. “I think so.”

When you turned back to him, he was shoving the last of the sandwiches in a paper bag. With his free hand he touched your cheek lovingly. “Baby, I’m so sorry about this. I never wanted to have to take you away from our home.”

“It’s ok.” You placed your hand on his. “You are home.”

August smiled sadly, still feeling guilty, but leaned down to kiss you. “You are home,” He sighed as he touched his forehead to yours. “Ready?”

“Yes.”

 -------------------------------------------------------------------------

With a guiding hand on your back, August led you through the front door of the house no one else had seen before. “Sorry, it’s probably dusty.”

Once inside, he set the suitcase down and flipped a switch that had the lights above flickering before settling into a soft glow. You looked around the small place that was fully and completely him. It was not a perfect place; shabbier and creakier like an old cabin, which it basically was, but it was your boyfriend. His things were scattered around the place, left over from when he probably had to leave quick. It smelled like him. A manly, piney, citrus scent still lingered even though he had mentioned the last time he stepped foot in the place was three years ago, nine months before he met you. You could practically see ghosts of him from the many times he had been there before. You pictured him making the cans of soup you could see in the cupboard from the wide open doors; or reading the book on the small table by a large chair, the spine cracked from where it split to the page he left off on.

“I don’t care.” You smiled. “I like it.”

Though you couldn’t see it, August smiled too and wrapped his arms around your waist from behind to pull your body against his. He placed a long kiss on your shoulder, then your neck, then your cheek, then his fingers slowly tilted your head to the side so he could kiss your lips.

“I’m glad you like it. You’ll be safe here, Y/N. I promise.”

You chuckled. “If you’re the one watching me, I’m pretty sure I’d be safe anywhere.”

“You know it,” He said, placing another kiss on your neck before releasing you and giving your ass a gentle swat. He picked up the bag and took it to what you could only assume was the bedroom.

 ------------------------------------------------------------------------

One Month Later

You woke up to the sunlight streaming through a window and turned to find your boyfriend absent from his side of the bed. It was five thirty in the morning when you glanced at the alarm clock on his nightstand; way too early to be awake, and you certainly felt the exhaustion from the three rounds you went with August the night before.

You stood and groaned. Your bones seemed to creak along with the bed, but your mood instantly perked up when you heard August’s voice just outside the bedroom door. It was open just a crack and with an attentive ear you could make out his words as he stood tall in the living room.

“He’s permanently locked up then?” He asked the person on the other end of the phone he had in his hand. He listened and nodded a few times, before saying “She is good, I promise.”

…

“No, she’s still asleep,”

August ran fingers through his hair and pressed a button on the phone he had made sure was untraceable. He set the phone down on the counter so he could start a pot of coffee. Then your fathers deep tone came through clear.

“Look, Walker, I know we don’t always see eye-to-eye, but thank you…for protecting her,” He said, and you smiled at the rare kindness he directed towards your boyfriend.

August poured a few cups of water into the pot and pressed ‘start.’ “You don’t have to thank me, Hunt. You know I love her.” He cleared his throat and ran fingers through his hair again; an action you knew he usually made when his anxiety spiked. “Hunt, about what I asked you before Morocco…”

“I know what I said,” Your father interrupted. “But after all of this…I honestly think you’re the only man for the job.”

And audible sigh of relief slipped passed August’s full lips. “You changed your mind?”

“After I thought about what you said you’re willing to give up, I realized you are serious about this.”

“I am,” August said, a certain determination in his voice.

“You would have to…” Your father paused, ensuring August understood. He had used that tone on you many times as a child. “…you know…give it up.”

August poured a cup of coffee for himself and turned to lean against the counter. You quickly ducked away from the door for fear he could see your eyes spying on him through the small crack, but when you chanced a look back, he seemed to be staring into space, shuffling through his thoughts. “It would be worth it. More than worth it.” August gave a close-lipped smile. “I never really enjoyed this anyway.

You father sighed through the speaker. “None of us really do.”

“That is true.” August’s chest puffed for a second in a silent laugh and took another sip of coffee. “I have to go. Your daughter is spying on me.”

Fuck, you thought. Completely busted. You inched the door open with a guilty look as your boyfriend eyed you and ended the call with a click. After setting the coffee cup on the counter, he crossed his arms and rose an eyebrow at you.

“Not the stealthiest, huh?” You chuckled nervously.

“You might have been had you not been spying on a man in the CIA.”

“Sorry, baby.” August snickered as he reached out a hand. You walked to him and he pulled you in close with a kiss to your forehead. “What were you talking about? It was very cryptic.”

He hummed. “Maybe it’s too dangerous for you to know.”

You looked up and met bright blue eyes. “Is it?”

“…No.”

“Well,” You began, drawing out the word with an innocent smile. “If it wasn’t about a mission, why can’t I know? A civil conversation with my dad is a little suspicious, wouldn’t you agree?”

“No, babe. We are the best of pals when we are on assignment.”

August’s eyes lit up as you let out a loud laugh. “Bullshit. Stop delaying and spill it, Mister.”

He swayed you back and forth in his arms, taking some time to think about how to say what you were demanding he tell you. “I plan to take a demotion…of sorts,” He said, way too casually for you.

You pulled out of his arms and your eyebrows knitted together. “What? August—”

“I want to do it.”

“Why? What does it mean for you if you do?” Slowly, he stepped to you and led you to the couch in the room. When you sat, he lifted your legs, laid them across his thick thighs, and placed a hand on your knee. “August…” You said, pulling his attention away from your legs.

His lips quirked up at the ends. “It means that I will be home more. Much more. It means that I won’t be putting myself in as dangerous of situations. It means you’ll be safer.” He raised a calloused hand to cup your cheek and stroked the corner of your lips with his thumb. Your eyes closed as you settled into his touch. “It means I can marry you.”

Immediately, your eyelids shot back open and as your lips parted, August took the opportunity to run that thumb once over your bottom lip before his fingers left your face. “What?”

“When Hunt tells me we are good to leave here, which should be in about a week, it means it’s over. I’m done. I won’t have to go back in the game if I don’t put myself there.”

“Can you do that? Sloane—”

He shook his head. “Won’t be a problem.”

“How?”

“I made a deal with Sloane a few years ago, when you and I started dating. When the time is right, if I take a step down, I’ll do what she asks, train five new recruits to be even better than I am, and…” He paused, “I won’t reveal certain information about her husband.”

Your hand covered your smile of awe for a moment. “You’re actually doing all of this just so you can marry me?”

“Of course, I am. Marriage doesn’t exactly work well when people do what I do. Hunt had to go through losing Julia for the job, but I don’t want to. Especially not with you.” A tear trailed down your cheek that August immediately swiped away. “Don’t cry.”

You moved to straddle him on the couch. Your arms linked behind his neck, and his hands fell to your waist, rubbing up and down your sides until he wrapped them around to settle on your ass. “I love you,” You sobbed. “I can’t believe you are willing to blackmail your boss for me.”

August beamed up at you and brushed a lock of hair behind your ear. “I wouldn’t blackmail her for anyone but you.” Then he reached a hand to the back of your neck and pulled down until your lips connected with his.

[tamorasky]

Rise to Me Chapter 8 - July 1943

Summary: 1947. It had been nearly four years since she had received a letter from her sister. Now with the end of the war and her impending wedding, Anna Rendelle is more determined than ever to find her sister.

1943. All her life Elsa Rendelle had been told to be good, know her place and to marry well. When an opportunity arises to make something of herself, finding herself in Occupied France as a part of a larger network of secret agents.

Rating: Mature

Relationships: Anna/Kristoff, Elsa/Honeymaren, Anna/Hans (Briefly)

AO3

It is the same every morning since she arrived six weeks ago; 5 miles up the hill and back, around the loch and then the dreaded incline where Elsa had twisted her ankle during her first week at the lodge. Her feet have never been so blistered in her life resulted from the damp runs every morning, seemingly to be on the verge of infection.

However, as she washes her hands after using the toilet, Elsa reflects how she no longer lingers in the back during the morning runs any longer. Never in her life had she ever thought she would have the stamina to run every morning. Elsa wonders if she could beat Anna now; as children, the younger Rendelle sister always was much faster.

Wiping her hands on the starched towels, Elsa glances at herself in the mirror, ensuring her issued shirt was tucked neatly into her khaki trousers. Her hair braided into a single plait as always, whisps already escaping from the tight braid.

The young woman makes her way to the dining hall, avoiding eye contact with the men passing her in the corridor. They are not allowed to engage with the other male recruits. In the dining hall, every woman is situated in their usual spot, a single empty space beside Honeymaren for Elsa.

The brunette's eyes drift to where Elsa stands in the doorway, offering a smile at the blonde woman. Elsa reciprocates the gesture, ignoring the pounding in her chest as she moves towards her spot.

Honeymaren and herself had become fast friends during Elsa's time at Rhubana Lodge. Despite Elsa's initial reluctance to become close with the other woman, Honeymaren remained insistent.

A week after her resolve to stay away from Honeymaren. Elsa had been alone in the dormitory, changing into her nightgown quickly before the other women flooded into the room from the shared bathroom. The door to the dormitory swung open to reveal Honeymaren, still dressed in her uniform.

Without a moment, the Haudenosaunee woman strode across the room towards her bed. Unbraiding her hair Honeymaren huffed, unable to take the silence any longer. The brunette woman walked to Elsa's bed, capturing the other woman between herself and the two beds.

"Whatever I did to you, I'd rather you tell me than go on acting like a couple of adolescent girls." Honeymaren snapped, standing only inches from Elsa.

"I-um… I'm sorry?" Elsa asked, taken aback by the other woman's outburst, her thighs pressed against her nightstand. Honeymaren glanced over Elsa slowly. With a sigh, she stepped back and sat on her own bed.

"Listen, I get it." The brunette sighed, her gaze dropping to her knees. "I can be…a little intense, and I apologize. I just…I felt like we were really connecting."

Elsa stared at Honeymaren, unsure what to say. The blonde stepped away from her nightstand, sitting on her bed across from the other woman. "It isn't you. I just… I've never really had a friend before. Not since I was eleven years old."

"I mean…if you'd rather continue the way you are, I'll respect that an-"

"No!" Elsa's head snapped up as she interrupted the other woman. The two women’s gaze met, eyes wide and surprised. "I-I just mean, after nine years i-it would be nice to have a…friend."

Honeymaren smiled at the blonde, reaching across the gap between their beds to take Elsa's hand into her own. "I'd like that too."

Since that night, the two of them completed everything together, they ran together, which became Elsa's motivation to speed up. The morning runs with Honeymaren was becoming her favourite part of the day.

Elsa takes her seat next to Honeymaren, glancing around the table to get some indication of what the girls were discussing. The blonde unfolds her napkin, neatly placing it on her lap in a manner that would not get her in trouble with Madame Bisset, who watches over the girls.

Eating meals is a constant lesson throughout the day. Leftover gravy is sopped up by bread and they are to never ask for butter as it was no longer served in France. A small mistake could get you into trouble with Madame Bisset. She recalled an evening they were given wine with dinner- an obvious test by the command to see if the girls became reckless when inebriated. Three girls were sent home the next morning.

She doesn't bother to grab a piece of baguette that morning, only drinking her coffee instead, rather quickly. As a university student, Elsa had grown accustomed to not eating breakfast, opting instead for black tea or coffee in the morning.

Honeymaren cocks a brow at her friend, observing her. "You're in an awful hurry."

"I have to retake codes." Elsa huffs, taking another short sip of her hot coffee. Honeymaren groans in response, rolling her eyes.

"Again? How many times is this now?" The brunette asks, picking up her porcelain coffee cup.

"Twice now." Elsa sighs, placing her coffee cup down. "I have to pass this round, or they'll send me packing."

"Well, what are you struggling with? Maybe I can help you." Honeymaren offers, reaching out to her friend. Elsa resists the urge to inch her hand closer to the other woman's but keeps it still on the white tablecloth.

"No, this is something I have to do myself. I just need to prove I can transmit." Elsa explains, reaching for her coffee once more.

"I'm sure you can do it. God knows you're clever enough." Honeymaren comments, tearing another piece of her baguette. Elsa finds herself smiling at the compliment, tucking her hair behind her ears with both hands.

In her first week, Elsa would have been at peace with the idea of being sent home. She could have returned to Oxford, work in the shop over the summertime and reschedule her visit with Anna in London.

But now, after 6 weeks of the morning runs, intensive training from morning until night. Most of her time is spent in front of a radio and studying to be a wireless telegraph operator. There were things she had learned never imaged, how to set up dead and live letter drops and the difference between the two, how to establish suitable rendezvous sites.

Much to her surprise, after a few weeks of training, her hands no longer shook when setting an explosives charge—her shooting and grappling slowly getting better every day with Honeymaren's guidance and help. Elsa would not have gotten far in the program without her. Lying and maintaining her cover story had come naturally to her. After years Elsa had gotten accustomed to lying to herself and others.

The only thing she is failing at is codes.

"Headquarters is here." One of the girls who shares a dormitory with the two women, Alexandra, announces abruptly. "Something must be wrong."

Honeymaren and Elsa's gaze follows Alexandra's to the balcony, overlooking the dining hall where a short woman stands, looking down on them. Elsa recognizes her immediately. Yelana.

"You've met her?" Marie asks Alexandra.

The raven-haired girl nods. "She found me in a typing pool in Bristol. You?"

"At a library in Essex," Marie responds.

It dawns on Elsa then, Yelana had selected each girl personally.

"Yelana decides everything for us," Honeymaren states, drawing the surrounding girl's attention. "She designed the courses and decides where we are deployed and what our assignments are to be."

The girls finish their breakfast quickly before meandering towards the lecture hall, where each desk had a radio sitting on the surface. Their instructor had the assignment printed and placed on each desk, a code to be deciphered and sent. Yelana stands in the corner of the room, watching all of the girls intently. Elsa takes her seat next to the window, taking a deep breath as she settles herself, immediately putting on her headset.

The radio in front of her is similar to one which a person could listen to music or the BBC on, only this one laid flat inside a suitcase with more knobs and dials. A small unit is at the top of the set for transmitting, another below it for receiving. The socket for the power adaptor is on the right side, and there are spare kits, a pocket containing extra parts in case anything were to happen. The pouch also includes four crystals, with the ability to be inserted into the slot on the radio to enable transmission.

Elsa closes her eyes, trying to calm her pounding heart from nerves. She has one last chance. Glancing down at the piece of paper, carefully scanning the retest. It was a text of a Shakespeare poem:

From this day to the ending of the world, But we in it shall be remember'd We few, we happy few, we band of brothers; For he to-day that sheds his blood with me Shall be my brother; be he ne'er so vile.

The message has to be first coded through a cipher containing a small satchel, each printed on an individual square of silk, one inch long and wide. Each silk held a key, a printed one-time cipher to change each letter to another: in this specific one, a became m and o became w. Each cipher was to be used to code the message, then be discarded. Lighting a match, Elsa burns the silk cipher as she had been taught.

She begins to type out the message, trying to recall the key in her head as she types. Elsa spent weeks learning to tap out letters in morse code, practicing to the point that she taps her fingers against the table at mealtimes. She struggles to keep her fist print consistent, which she needed to perfect to pass security checks.

Radios could be interchangeable. If someone has the coils and crystals to set the frequency, they could send and receive messages. One's fist print and security checks are the only way in which headquarters can confirm the other person.

Elsa's fist print is light on the first part of each word with pauses between sentences. Each agent had a security check unique to themselves, a quirk in which a reader could identify the typist. Elsa is to make a "mistake" and typing r on the thirty-fifth letter in the message. Her second security check was substituting k where a c belonged every other time a k appeared.

With shaking hands Elsa finishes her retest, hoping to God she will have passed this time. For the first time since arriving, she feels quite pleased with herself, noticing Yelana watching her closely.

The older woman rips the teletype's transmission, scanning over the paper as she marches towards Elsa. "You've gotten better. But it's still not good enough."

Elsa huffs in frustration, but before she has a chance to ask what Yelana meant, the older woman reaches over and pulls the telegraph key from the wireless. "What are you doing?"

Yelana does not answer her, picking up a screwdriver to further dismantle the set. Elsa watches in confusion as it is torn piece by piece, screws and bolts clattering on the floor. The other girls watch in silence, stunned by the older woman's actions.

Without any instruction, Elsa stands from her desk, beginning to collect pieces from under the table as Yelana tears apart the machine Elsa had worked with from the beginning. As the older woman finishes, she glances back at the blonde.

"Put it back together."

"I-I'm sorry?" Elsa stutters, her brows furrowing in confusion and anger.

"You have ten minutes to put it back together again." Yelana walks away from the young woman without another word. Elsa stares at the pieces of the wireless, tears threatening to form in her eyes in humiliation. She sits back in her seat, not wanting to cry in front of the various girls staring at her.

She tries to recall the manual she studied at the beginning of her wireless training. But is unable to remember any of the instructions to place the machine back together.

"You need to start here." A voice startles Elsa out of her trance. Honeymaren is by her side, holding up a panel so Elsa could reattach the baseplate.

"You don't have to help me," Elsa says, noticing Yelana staring at the two of them with interest.

"I do. If you were to leave this place, I'd go insane." The brunette insists, her eyes boring into Elsa's. "Screw the piece back into place."

Elsa nods, screwing the baseplate into place. As she works to reassemble the machine, Honeymaren hands pieces back to her, instructing the blonde how to put together the radio again. Humiliation floods through Elsa as she puts together the device, but it helps with Honeymaren by her side.

With the Haudenosaunee woman's help, the machine is fixed within the time-limited set by Yelana. Elsa glances at Honeymaren, offering the woman a small smile in thanks. Her eyes drift back to the radio, hoping to God it would transmit.

Holding her breath, she taps the telegraph key. A quiet click resounds through her ears, much to the young woman's relief as the code she entered registers. It works.

Elsa looks up in a moment of triumph. For the first time in her life, she can prove someone wrong, that they are wrong about her. But Yelana is no longer in the room. Glancing back at the radio, Elsa feels tears in her eyes once again.

"Why does she hate me so much?" She whispers, clenching her fists on her thighs. Her face hovering over her lap, her chest constricts. It was a question that she frequently asked herself as a child.

"Hey," Honeymaren calls, placing her hand on Elsa's back. "It's not personal. Come on, sweetheart." The brunette woman guides Elsa out of her seat, offering excuses to the instructor as they leave the room.

The two women ignore the curious looks of the men they pass in the corridor as they meander through the hall towards the washroom. As they enter the women's bathroom, Elsa leans against the wall, burying her face in her hands.

Honeymaren rushes towards the sink, grabbing a towel and wetting it with warm water. She rings out the cloth, ignoring how the water burns her hands as she brings the fabric back to Elsa.

"Look at me," Honeymaren commands, but she doesn't touch Elsa, allowing the other woman to pull her hands away from her face. As Elsa's hands fall from her face to her sides, Honeymaren steps forward, wiping the blonde's face with the warm cloth.

"Y-you don't have to." Elsa hiccups, suppressing the urge to sigh as the warm cloth touches her face. Honeymaren offers the other woman a small smile, continuing to wipe at Elsa's face.

"I'm sure it isn't personal," Honeymaren states, pulling the cloth away from the blonde's face.

"W-what?"

"In class, you asked, 'why does she hate me so much?" The brunette explains, walking back toward the sink to warm the cloth once again. "I don't think it's personal. It's her job to be harsh with us and ensure we know what we're doing."

"But we don't know what we are doing!" Elsa snaps, not noticing the way Honeymaren flinches at her outburst. "I don't even know why I'm being yelled at because I don't know what it is I am supposed to be doing."

"I know." Honeymaren quietly responds, the warm cloth still in her hands as she stands by the sink. "None of this makes sense, and I know you want to return home. But I believe that whatever it is we are doing here is important."

"I…I just know if I can do this anymore. This morning I was certain of myself, and now…I just don't know." Elsa sighs, hanging her head once again.

Honeymaren chokes back the urge to yell that every woman in this program feels the same way; no one knew what they were doing and always seemed to disappoint themselves. Huffing in frustration, Honeymaren throws the cloth in the hamper under the sink.

"I understand if you feel that way. Excuse me." The brunette walks towards the door, glancing over her shoulder to Elsa. "I should be going back to class."

Elsa watches in shock as Honeymaren pushes through the door, leaving the young woman alone. Watching the door, Elsa's brows furrow in response, wondering what she could have said to send the other woman away.

Wiping the tears from her eyes with her sleeve, she pushes away from the wall to stand in front of the sink. She turns on taps, holding her hand under the running water until it becomes warm. The young woman splashes her face with water, staring at her reflection in the mirror.

It is still an odd sight to see her face bare, having not worn makeup since she arrived in Scotland. Her eyes are rimmed with red and puffy, indicating she has been crying. She reaches for a new cloth, wetting it with water before pressing the towel against her eyes, hoping to reduce the evidence of her tears.

She wonders if she should pack up now and return home without another word. Leave this place behind and return to everything she knew. Elsa hadn't felt this way since her first week in her training. Back when she was alone and afraid of all that was to come.

Glancing up at herself, Elsa recalls that lonely girl she has been since she was eleven years old. The girl who had to do everything herself and never rely on others because they would always reject or disappoint. Just like her past friends, schoolmates, guys she went on dates with, her parents.

Everyone…except Anna. And now, Honeymaren. Honeymaren, who had spent so much time making sure Elsa endured and succeeded in this place. Yet…she had never done anything for the brunette. She owed it to her to continue. With a deep breath, Elsa discards the towel as she decides it is time to return to class. Her eyes are still puffy from her tears as she withdraws from the sink, uncaring about it at this point. She steps towards the door, slowly crossing the threshold as she looks down at herself.

"It isn't personal." A voice beside the ladies' washroom nearly startles Elsa out of her skin. The blonde glances to the right, Yelana standing against the wall with a cigarette held between her fingers.

"Then, why me? I know for a fact that the girl next to me is doing worse." Elsa huffs, frustration building up inside of her once again.

"Because I know you're capable of doing better," Yelana explains, taking a drag of her cigarette. The younger woman watches the smoke bellow towards the ceiling, almost casting a fog over the lighting. "I spent two weeks in Oxford watching for you and talking to your professors about you. You're smart, Miss. Rendelle, I know you can do better."

"You're not going to ask me to leave?" Elsa inquires. She had been certain only moments ago that she would be dismissed.

Yelana shrugs, "Not unless you want to leave. You would be free to, no more training early in the mornings, no more ciphers. Go home to your sister and work in a shop for the rest of the summer."

Elsa doesn't respond right away. Instead, her gaze goes to the ground, examining her military issue boots. "I want to stay."

"Alright." Yelana comments, her tone giving no indication of the small smile crossing her features. "Go back to the lecture hall and complete your lessons for the day. I'll talk to your instructor, but I want you to stay behind, and we'll work on your wirelss."

"Why?"

"You need more practice. From everything that I've seen in your reports, you're nearly excelling in every training aspect except the wireless. You need to excel with the radio. Any mistake could immediately jeopardize the SOE and forfeit your own life." Yelana explains, taking another drag of her smoke.

"Honeymaren says that the average life expectancy is 6 weeks for a wireless transmitter. Is that true?" Elsa questions. Forgetting the rule, Yelana had snapped at her during their first meeting: never ask questions.

Despite this rule, Yelana nods with a sigh. "We thought that perhaps sending women into the field would be less conspicuous. The men tend to be shot on sight."

"And the women?"

"We don't know yet. We've only had one woman die in our operations; her ship was sunk in the Atlantic." Yelana explains, dropping her cigarette to the hardwood to butt it out. Elsa stares at the action, slightly horrified that the older woman had dropped the smoke onto the floor.

Elsa nods, deciding she had asked enough questions, not wanting to agitate the woman in front of her. "I'll see you after lessons."

"Good luck," Yelana calls as the young woman begins to walk away from her. Elsa meanders down the corridor towards the lecture hall, confident that she can do this.

Everything hurt, her head, stomach and hands. Yelana had drilled her on the wireless all evening. They had even skipped dinner until Elsa got everything correct. The blonde meanders down the hall, exhausted, as she makes her way back to the dormitory.

Elsa pushes open the door to her dormitory, expecting everyone to be settling in for nighttime. As she opens the door, laughter echoes throughout the room. She quickly enters the room, closing the door behind her to avoid the girl's laughter to be heard.

Four of the girls and Honeymaren sit on the ground in front of beds in the back right corner. They sit in a circle, with Honeymaren resting her back against the wall. At the sight of the blonde, the Haudenosaunee woman beams, waving her over to them.

"Elsa! Come join us!" Honeymaren calls across the room. Slowly, Elsa steps towards them, her brow rising as she inches closer.

"What's going on here?" Elsa asks, staring at the girls on the ground, all of them holding mugs. The youngest girl, Beth’s, cheeks are flushed while Diana slowly sips from the cup.

Marie stares up at Elsa with a grin, reaching behind her pulling out a clear bottle filled with a clear liquid. Elsa's mouth nearly falls open at the reveal. "I got us a bottle of gin!"

"How?" The blonde gawks, excitedly stepping into the middle of the circle and taking a seat next to Honeymaren against the wall as she grabs the bottle.

It isn't good gin but is probably better than most can get in these current conditions.

Marie takes the bottle back, whistling at one of the other girls, Joy to hand her the last empty mug. The dark-haired girl stretches across the circle, passing the white cup to Marie. She uncorks the bottle, the pop echoing through the room, before pouring two ounces into the mug.

"You're rather generous." Elsa comments, taking the mug into her grasp.

"It will probably be the last time we can do something like this, so why not splurge a bit." Marie shrugs, pouring herself some more liquor.

Elsa takes a sip, enjoying the taste of pine in her mouth as the liquor trickles down her throat; she hadn't had gin in a very long time. Honeymaren brushes her index finger against the back of Elsa's hand, slowly and lingering for a moment.

"How did things with Yelana go?" The brunette inquires, barely above a whisper as the other girls begin to converse.

"Good, I nearly expected her to take out a ruler and hit me across the knuckles. But it went well. I think I've gotten the hang of it." Elsa states, smiling at her friend. "Thank you for taking me down this afternoon. And I’m sorry, I'm going to stay."

"Of course." Honeymaren leans in, touching her shoulder to Elsa's briefly. "And I'm glad you're staying."

"I am too." Elsa's gaze remains locked in Honeymaren's, resisting to urge to lean against the other woman. She clears her throat, glancing back to her drink before taking another sip.

As the night continues, the women get slightly tipsier as Marie becomes more liberal with her pours, having cut Beth off at round three. The women chat about their lives back home, although they are not supposed to.

Alexandra turns to Elsa, having noticed that neither the blonde nor Honeymaren have spoken about their lives. "What about you two? Any guys for you back home?"

Elsa hesitates to answer, unsure what to say. But Honeymaren speaks first, "Nah, I don't have time for any of that back home." Everyone looks to Elsa, waiting expectantly.

"Well, um…there is a guy back in Oxford who I went on a date with," Elsa explains, not noticing the way Honeymaren's eyes widen and brows rise slightly at the information.

"What's his name?" Marie asks, rather eagerly due to non-existent her romantic life.

"His name is…. David. He was in my civil law class, and we've only been on one date, but I-I don't know." Elsa shrugs.

"Is he handsome?" Beth leans forward, bumping against Alexandra on accident, earning a glare from the ebony-haired woman.

Elsa hesitates, unsure how to answer that, but everyone stares at her with undivided attention. "Y-yes, he is rather handsome, I suppose."

"So, what are you unsure of?" Honeymaren asks, her gaze downcast to her bare feet and voice flat. Elsa glances at her friend, her chest tightening at the other woman's disassociation of this conversation.

"Well…it was something he said on our first date." Elsa's brows knit together as she recalls the memory. "He implied that I was only in university to get a…MRS degree."

A series of groans emit from each of the girls, Joy and Marie throwing their heads back in exasperation. Only Beth stares at Elsa with some confusion, cocking her head slightly.

"W-what is that?" The slightly inebriated girl asks.

"An MRS degree," Alexandra states, pronouncing every syllable for the youngest girl to clue in.

The blank look Beth responds causes Joy to sigh. "It is the idea that women only go to university to find a husband."

"Oooooh, I get it." Beth throws her head back, causing her to lose her balance. With a yelp, the young woman falls onto her back. Alexandra rolls her eyes at the 18-year-old, clearly growing frustrated with Beth.

"If I were you, there wouldn't be a second date upon your arrival home." Marie takes a sip of her gin, finishing the contents of her cup. A groan escapes from her as she attempts to pour herself another helping, only to find the bottle of gin now empty.

"Yeah, I don't think there will be." Elsa shrugs her shoulders, trying to seem disappointed but ultimately couldn't find it in herself to care.

"Well, ladies." Marie sighs, slapping her thigh. "it seems we should turn in for the night before Madame Bisset enters the room to check on us."

Elsa glances at the clock hanging over the door, 10:15. Bisset would be in the room to call lights out in nearly 15 minutes. By that time, every girl in the room would be required to be ready for bedtime.

Joy and Alexandra help Beth from the ground, escorting the girl to her bed on the other side of the room before retreating to their own. Each girl carries their mugs to their bedside tables. It was the only piece of dishware they were allowed in their rooms for water.

Elsa opens her trunk, grabbing a clean nightgown from the chest and discarding the garment at the foot of her bed. With her back turned against the other women, Elsa slowly unbuttons her issued shirt. She tosses the shirt into the truck, rolling her neck as she stands in only her khaki pants and bra.

She had gotten over the fear of changing in front of others in her fourth week, it was a frigid night, and Elsa had been exhausted. She hadn't cared to even think as she stripped down into her undergarments and her nightgown in front of everyone. Elsa hadn't looked back since.

Her pants and socks join her shirt in the truck, closing the lid as they fall to the bottom of the chest. She slips on her nightgown, shoving her arms through the long sleeves before reaching behind her to unclasp her bra. Shimmying the support off her shoulders and reaching up into her sleeves to free her arms of the bra.

The undergarment falls to the ground as Elsa bends to grab the garment, her locket swinging away from her chest as she bends over. She places her bra on the top of her chest as she stands back up.

With a sigh, she settles herself on her bed, leaning back on her hands while looking up at the ceiling. The mattress sinks next to her, pulling the blonde's gaze from the roof to the figure sitting beside her.

Honeymaren sits next to Elsa in her nightgown, her chestnut hair free from its braid and hanging freely to her lower back. As if it hadn't been cut in a long time. Elsa resists to urge to reach out and touch it, despite wanting to; she doesn't trust herself.

The brunette's gaze rests on the locket around Elsa's neck, staring at it curiously with furrowed brows. "Is there a photo of your beau in there?" Honeymaren points at the silver heart with her forefinger.

Elsa looks down at herself, placing her hand over it. "No, it isn't. I don't have a beau. As I said earlier, it was only one date."

"You would be surprised how forward many men can be," Honeymaren states, leaning back on Elsa's bed with her mug in her hand. "Whose photo is it?"

The blonde smiles, reaching behind her neck to unclasp the necklace to hold it out to Honeymaren. The brunette places her cup on the bed, resting it against her thigh as she takes the locket, inspecting the roses engraved on the outside.

Upon opening it, Honeymaren sees a photo of a girl, freckles spattered across her face and hair braided into two plaits, her eyes wide as she smiles for the camera. "She's beautiful."

"My sister, Anna," Elsa explains, watching closely as Honeymaren examines the photo of her sister. "She lives away from me in London. Last I heard, she had gotten a job working in a factory."

Honeymaren reaches over, handing the necklace back to Elsa. "You must miss her."

"I…" Elsa trails off, unsure how to answer. "I really do miss her. We haven't been close since we were children. But I was hoping to mend that the week I was called away."

"Perhaps when all of this is over." Honeymaren offers her a reassuring smile, placing her hand on Elsa's thigh.

"I hope so." Elsa nods, staring at her sister's photo once more before clasping the necklace on once again. Honeymaren slides to the edge of the bed, standing abruptly and reaching across her bed towards her nightstand. The brunette opens the drawer grabbing an item.

Honeymaren sits on her bed across from Elsa, glancing down at the item in her hand as she hands it to the other woman. Elsa takes the flat object inspecting it closely. A photograph of a tall, slim young man, grinning ear to ear as his dark hair falls into his eyes.

"My brother." Honeymaren offers with a smile, staring at the photograph.

"He looks like you." Elsa comments, handing the photo back to the brunette.

"Not really," Honeymaren shrugs. "I'm much better looking than he is." The two women giggle at the comment, staring up at one another once again

"Is he involved in the whole racket as well?" Elsa inquires.

"No. He's only seventeen. I know he'd like to be, but if anything were to happen to him, I don't know what our grandfather would do." Honeymaren explains, her gaze falling back to the photograph.

"Your grandfather relies on your brother?"

Honeymaren nods in response. "He does. But I know Ryder would take any opportunity to leave the reservation. He's been trying to leave since we left school."

"My sister's always been like that too." Elsa comments. "After our parent's died in '41, she was to remain with a close family friend in Harrogate. It's where we went to boarding school, but instead, she packed up and left for London. She's only seventeen and hasn't even finished secondary school."

"Ryder almost dropped out, but the government demanded we attend. We went to a boarding school…at least that's what they called it, but he hardly could manage the militaristic style of it all."

"Yet he wants to enlist?" Elsa inquires, her brows knitting together.

Honeymaren shrugs, her brow rising slightly. "He wants an adventure, leave the place controlled by a government that stol-required us to leave home for their schools. Being paid to go to Europe doesn't seem like a horrible option."

The door to the dormitory bursts opens, revealing Madame Bisset on the other side of the door. Her hands on her hips as her eyes scan across the room.

"Au lit maintenant!" The older woman's voice resounds throughout the room as she flicks off the lights. Elsa shifts her legs onto the mattress, slipping under her woollen blankets as she settles in for the night.

"Goodnight, Elsa," Honeymaren whispers to the other woman. Elsa turns her head toward the other woman, staring at her in the dark.

"Goodnight, Maren," Elsa whispers back, staring at the outline of Honeymaren's figure. As she reflects on their conversation, Elsa can't help but be more curious about the woman's upbringing. Wanting to learn more about her closest friend's life.

Author’s note: So the entire thing about the wireless radios was something I read from a novel over the summer, the issue is I spend a lot of time reading novels like this over the summer so I need to go back and find which it is from. But just wanted to state that isn't my own knowledge it came from a book. 

The Shakespeare poem is actually used in that book as well for ciphers and I was gonna change it but was like FUCK The St. Crispin's Day Speech is perfect (Band of Brothers)

Thank you for reading!!!

[eddiegirls]

do you have some ~easy recipes to make? i want to learn how to cook but i always find myself too tired to make anything when i get home from work /:

hello my friend! so what i find the easiest to throw together is a stir fry bc you can really use any protein and veggies, and it’s usually done in the time it takes to cook the rice. 

here’s my stir fry ~formula:

1. start the rice first, bc it takes longest. i use sticky/sushi rice, but anything will work, and you can also do quinoa/another grain. here’s a rice cooking guide!

2. if you’re using tofu (which i usually do), press it right away to drain the water. i use extra firm tofu, and i wrap it in many paper towels, then i putting a cutting board with a heavy pan/book/whatever i can find on top. extra firm usually only needs 15 mins to press, but it won’t hurt to leave it until you’re ready to cook. you can use chicken/fish/shrimp/beef/pork/etc, whichever’s easiest.

3. cut your vegetables. you can literally use anything! i put garlic in everything, but everything else varies. some ideas: onions or green onions, broccoli, green beans, asparagus, bell peppers, carrots, bok choy, snap peas/snow peas, baby corn, water chestnuts (they come canned!), mushrooms, etc. frozen veggies or the pre-cut packs in the produce section are a good idea if you don’t want to chop or don’t have time. 

4. cook your protein. for tofu, i usually cut it into cubes and coat them in some flour seasoned with whatever spices i feel like (mine is usually salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cayenne, and smoked paprika). then i fry it in some vegetable oil. it usually takes like...5 mins on each side, but i generally get lazy and don’t cook every side of every cube lol. you can use pretty much any protein and there’s youtube tutorials for the best way to pan fry all of them. you can also buy a rotisserie chicken from the deli and shred it, or frozen pre-cooked meats, which’ll both save a lot of time.

5. while the tofu/whatever’s cooking, make a sauce. mine is usually a random, unmeasured combination of: soy sauce, honey, some kind of chili sauce (sambal is my fave), garlic powder, rice vinegar, and sesame oil. you can 100% buy a premade stir fry sauce to make your life easier (kikkoman makes good ones, they’re usually in the asian foods section). if you wanna make your own, just start with like...1/3-1/2 cup of soy sauce and add stuff until it tastes good. it’s honestly very hard to mess up. 

6. remove protein from pan and cook veggies. as a general rule, hard vegetables take longest. put stuff like broccoli and asparagus in first, then onions, then softer things like bok choy. if you can’t tell if something’s done cooking, stick a fork in and feel how soft it is. if you still can’t tell, taste it. if you’re using frozen, follow instructions on the package. put the garlic in LAST or else it’ll most definitely burn and you’ll be sad. 

7. put protein back in w the veggies and pour in the sauce. cook it for a few mins to thicken it up. if you want, you can combine a tablespoon of corn starch and a tablespoon of cold water to help it thicken, but i wouldn’t recommend that if you’re gonna eat it again the next day, bc the corn starch makes it kinda gummy later on. 

8. serve over rice. i sometimes add a fried egg on top! 

that was longer than i intended.........and i am not done

here’s some places i usually find easy recipes:

my absolute queen budget bytes

honestly...buzzfeed tasty has good & quick one pot recipes

binging with babish’s basics series is very good for learning how to cook

i don’t really like to give conde nast my money, especially bon appetit, but i use an ad blocker to go on their basically site. every recipe is 10 ingredients or less!

pro home cooks, which used to be called brothers green - he makes, like, everything, but a lot of his vids focus on cheap and easy meals. (i haven’t watched any of his meal prep vids but i bet they’re good)

if you have a day, or even a few hours, every week that you can set aside, you might wanna look into meal prep. you don’t even have to prep entire meals; just pre-cutting all your veggies and portioning them into containers makes cooking after work/school feel so much easier. 

here are some meal prepping youtubers:

mind over munch - i s2g this woman is like the queen of meal prepping. she’s also like way too perky but it’s fine bc her vids are VERY helpful even if you don’t wanna make the exact meals she makes

goodful’s professional meal prepper series - she gets paid to go to ppl’s homes and meal prep for them, and she shares a lot of easy recipes that are good for prepping and also just general tips for the best ways to cook and store stuff!

and finally here’s some easy stuff i make when i’m lazy:

i boil water for pasta, i chop up broccoli into tiny little pieces and throw it in the boiling water with the pasta when there’s like 4 mins left. i drain it, put it back in the pan, and add butter, italian cheese(s), garlic powder or a garlic herb seasoning blend, salt, and pepper. it’s so good.

premade gnocchi with jarred sauce or storebought pesto, served w whatever vegetable will take the least time to cook (i had this today with asparagus lol)

canned salmon burgers! 

tuna & mayo mixed w rice, top w eggs and nori if i have it (thank u @oddesteyecircle)

smashed chickpea salad - i take a can of chickpeas and smash em w a potato masher, then i add mayo, dijon mustard, lemon juice to taste, and whatever spices i feel like (usually salt, pepper, garlic powder, onion powder, cumin, cayenne, paprika, turmeric bc i like the color it adds lol). serve on toasted bread w/ whatever you like on sandwiches (i do tomatoes, hima usually does cucumber slices and spinach)

this doesn’t count as cooking really but the chipotle black bean burgers from don lee farms (we get them at costco) are incredible. i usually make em w frozen fries and microwave steamed broccoli (if u haven’t caught on i love broccoli)

bfast for dinner (pancakes from a box, scrambled eggs, bacon/sausage, maybe some potatoes)

aaaand i think that’s all i have to say! when in doubt, u can always ALWAYS find a recipe on youtube for literally anything. i hope this was helpful!!!!!!!

[thedyingmoon]

💚 See Me Now 💚

***

VII. Weakness

***

(F/N) watched over Levi, who now lay in his bed, still unconscious. On the other side of the room, she could hear Erwin and Hange in such heated argument, that it made the girl finally cover her ears in an attempt to block the curses and the mention of her and Levi's name in their conversation.

She looked back at Levi, whose face was contorting with nightmares she's not aware of. He looked really sick, his face as pale as paper. She brushed a wayward lock off his forehead. He's sweaty, and yet his skin felt cold.

"Urgh,..." Levi mumbled in his very troubled sleep. She hated seeing him like this. Humanity's Strongest Soldier,... was as every bit as human as he possibly could, after all. He's just like everybody else.

But, what made her worry the most, was the thing that the old woman injected on him, and her words, Ackerman must die!

What made her say that? And how did the Captain, who fought for humanity countless of times and survived to tell the tale, gain such enemies who wanted him dead? Why would they do that?

The door of Levi's room suddenly opened, and in came Erwin and Hange. (F/N) stood in attention and was about to salute the Commander when he gestured for her to stop.

"Please, (L/N). Go back to your seat." Erwin said gently at her.

"Y-yes, sir,..." the girl muttered and went back to Levi's side.

(F/N) was not aware, but the Commander of the renowned Scouting Legion was more than glad to see her. But, he did not wish to see her like this; torn, worried,...

...and horribly bruised.

What in the blazes happened to her while I was gone?

Hange, on the other hand, was not amused with (F/N)'s decision to continuously cling onto the man who hurt her. And yet, here she was, on what appeared to be Levi's most challenging life trial ever. She never left him there on the Trost marketplace, despite the fact that she could easily get killed by those men who pursued Levi. She protected him until the end. It was a good thing that Erwin arrived at the scene. If he hadn't, then,...

She hated her persistence towards the man. The man,... who broke her heart.

"You said you're not hurt." Erwin said to her. He was looking at the ugly bruise on her face. She noticed this and turned away, not wanting the Commander to see her like this.

"It was an accident, Commander. It was entirely my fault, sir." she said. But, of course, Erwin didn't believe her. He knew the truth. He could sense it.

"How is Levi?" he asked instead of prying deeper about her bruise.

The girl looked at the Captain, who was still groaning in pain even as he slept. "He's not,..." a lump suddenly grew in her throat and she couldn't continue speaking.

"Okay." Erwin sat at the bed and faced (F/N), his beautiful blue eyes twinkling against the small light cast by the candlelight. "Now, tell us what happened,..."

The girl told them everything, from the first time she met the old woman to the moment Levi was injected with the mystery serum. Erwin frowned at the mention of the old woman and the serum, his eyebrows furrowing deep in thought. Hange just listened, her thoughts instantly wandering to the possible effects the serum could have on Levi. What could possibly happen to him? And if anything did occur to his body, can they cure him of it?

When (F/N) finished her story, Erwin kept silent for a few seconds. After that, he stood up, went outside, and after twenty minutes, he came back, bearing a tray with a bowl of hot soup and a loaf of bread. He placed it on the bedside table. Then, he went to Levi's closet, opened it, and produced a clean, white sheet. He gave it to (F/N), earning himself a confused look from the Cadette.

"Hange and I have some business to attend to." he said to her. "In the meantime, please look after Levi. And please, do have something to eat."

Hange was displeased with what Erwin's ordering (F/N) to do but, she had no choice but to let him do so. (F/N), on the other hand, nodded in approval, clutching the white sheet close to her chest, her eyes gleaming.

Erwin left the room. And before she left, Hange went to (F/N) and whispered something to her.

"In case Levi gets up without us here,..." she said. "Please, feel free to,... knock him out, if you can,..."

(F/N) was bewildered beyond words. Why would she hurt the Captain?

Hange sincerely smiled and patted her head in affection. "Let your emotions go for a while and promise me that you'll do it, (F/N). I know what you're thinking. Don't worry, I - we, I mean, Erwin and I - shall explain it to you when we get back. Do everything you can to make him sleep again."

(F/N) didn't understand a word that the scientist said, but nodded nonetheless.

Hange put her goggles back on and left (F/N), hoping that Levi would stay asleep until they get back. She didn't tell her where they were going, but she knew one thing; that they will not arrive until late morning tomorrow.

The girl sighed, stood and went to the window, seeing Erwin and Hange's departure. Her Squad Leader glanced back and waved at her. Erwin just smiled at her.

In fact, Erwin chose not to tell (F/N) where they were going. For her and Levi's safety.

Three hours of horseback riding finally brought them to their destination, which was the old Training Grounds of the aspiring Cadets and Cadettes.

The moon had risen well up into the night sky and the lights from the hall, which brought nostalgia to Hange's eyes, were diminishing one by one, signalling the end of the Trainees' long and hard day.

But, they didn't go here to recruit new Soldiers for their ranks. They needed to speak to him.

Erwin and Hange went quietly to the door, looked at each other with quite tensed expressions, and finally decided to knock.

A few minutes later, a Soldier wearing the Trainee Corps officer uniform opened the door. He was rubbing his eyes to chase away his drowsiness, for he was assigned for the rounds this evening. His eyes snapped open in attention upon seeing the Scouting Legion's Commander and Section Commander on the doorstep.

"S-s-sir! M-m-a'am!" the man saluted in utter panic. "W-what brings you h-here?"

"We came to speak with Commander Keith Shadis." Erwin said. The man let them enter the building and saluted once more. He led them to the Commander's old office on the second floor. The man stopped and knocked on the door.

"State your name and business!" a rough and irritated voice said from inside.

"Joseph Richards, sir! Scouting Legion Commanders Erwin Smith and Hange Zoe wish to see you."

Silence. Hange gulped audibly, wishing she was back to their Headquarters. She simply isn't ready for this,...

The door opened, and Hange saw the bald ex - Scouting Legion Commander. He looked as grumpy as ever.

"Thank you, Richards." he said to the Soldier. "You may return to your duty now."

"Sir, yes, sir!" the soldier named Joseph Richards saluted and marched down the hall back to his post. Keith Shadis looked at Erwin and Hange and hissed, "What are you two still doing there? Come in."

Erwin and Hange entered the office. Not a tiny bit has changed about the old room. Just the sight of its old occupant who seemed to be getting more and more wrinkles as years went by.

The eagle - eyed man gestured for the two to sit down on a nearby sofa as he seated himself on his own chair behind his neat desk.

"What brings you two here?" Shadis said, "Don't tell me it's about that Titan - shifter brat again,..."

"No, sir." Hange spoke up first. She,... blushed at what she just did and went on speaking. "It's about,... ah,..."

"It's about (F/N) (L/N)." Erwin finished for her.

The old man's eyes widened for a fraction of a second, then went back to its original state.

"And what about her?"

What Erwin and Hange told him next shook his very being,...

******

(F/N) woke up, her arms numb because of her very uncomfortable position. She wondered why she was sitting on a chair and not lying on her bed. She rubbed her eyes and looked at the bed,...

...only to find Levi Ackerman lying there.

She stood up instinctively, still clutching the pillow and the white sheet that Erwin handed her the night before. The memories of yesterday's ordeal went slowly back to her half - asleep mind. About the documents, the spilled tea,...

...the old woman, the serum, and Levi's pursuers,...

She went back to her place beside him and carefully touched his forehead. His skin was still cold, but at least his shallow breathing was back to normal. She sighed and finally remembered that Erwin ordered her to watch over Levi. Hange also ordered her to knock him out in case he wakes up without them. Now, what could her Squad Leader mean by that?

She stood up and went to his closet to find a towel she could use to wipe his sweat with. Why should I knock the Captain out? As if I could do something like that,...

She found a fresh, white towel from one of his drawers, took it, and turned around,...

...only to see Levi himself standing before her, his tired eyes looking at her from head to foot. He somehow got up without making a noise that should've alerted her.

But, that's not the real issue here. He's awake! What should I do now - ?

"You stupid brat, what are you doing here in my room?" he asked her in a raspy voice.

"Well, I,... ah,..." I'm doomed!

Levi growled and raised his hand to hit her like what he did to her that awful day. (F/N) closed her eyes, anticipating the pain that was about to come,...

...only that, it didn't.

She slowly opened her eyes and found Levi staring at her in utter shock. He raised his hand once more and put a lot more force into it. His palm connected with her face, but surprisingly, the supposed slap,...

...did not hurt.

Not even a tiny bit.

"What the fuck,... ?" Levi spoke both of their minds. He walked away from her and went back to his bed.

"Captain Levi, you must go back to sleep,..." (F/N) said lamely. "You're still weak,..."

"Shut the fuck up!" something was truly bothering the man. He wanted so much to collapse on his bed, but he still has to confirm something.

"Captain Levi?" (F/N) uttered, thinking of a way to knock him out without actually hurting him. But, that would be impossible, right?

A wave of nausea invaded his head and his sight started getting blurry. Something felt lacking within his whole being. He placed his hand under the bed, flexed his bicep, and tried to lift the bed,...

...he couldn't do it,...

...not even a bit,...

He collapsed on the floor, unable to believe what was happening to him.

He was in this pitiful state when Erwin and Hange almost crashed the door of his bedroom open.

"(F/N)!" Hange yelled. "What did I tell you - ?"

The girl just looked at her with a very disturbed expression. "It's no use, Squad Leader."

Erwin and Hange both looked at Levi's diminutive figure. He looked at them, his eyes wide with fright and disbelief.

"I feel,... so weak,..." Levi whispered helplessly.

***

Hello again, @levi4mikasa , @yepps , @clovemcpandas , @unhappysap , and @shortbty14 . 💚

***

💚💚💚

***

[shytiff]

September 2021

1 - MTBS 0 pt. tried out kopsus from jannor coffee with gofood pickup promo (10k). it tasted nutty and yummy even though it seems to use regular milk. but its kinda hot. the ac was not satisfactory. finished up the word for Prof. bought jasuke on the way back. filled out IDI form since i still have energy. 

2 - mtbs again but this time its 3 patients at the same time. vcalled with kris. bought some snacks in hypermart. exercised a bit and played badminton with renata. watched 3 eps of nanno. 

3 - my body aches and it will be wonderful to sleep again but its already 6:40. usila today. the ac in kamar jaga was no longer cold. finally finished moms box of brownies from like 2 weeks ago. read dear benjamin. got to enjoy some silence because i napped before maghrib and the others slept early. 

4 - vaccine in GCD with teh fitri, teh fany and teh rahmi. about 440ish patients. gossiped about cibeber lmao. watched the hitman’s bodyguard. samuel and ryan was hilarious. 

5 - morning walk with renata. saw cilegon’s cfd. cleaned up the room accompanied by howl’s soundtrack. made spaghetti with instant bolognese sauce, egg and cheese. o seven with tri nagita. just saw prof’s email from 2nd sept, shit. tried to get some headspace to do ppt.

6 - bp with nessa (originally kia/ugd). except therere some patients in ugd lol. did excision for clavus (1st timer!) and hecting. fried tempe (1st timer!) using someone’s leftover oil lmaooo

7 - BP with zihan. had spaghetti combined with cheese egg and mom’s chicken for lunch. instant bloating :). drank hot matcha to curb the bloat. planked. ate muesli lol. did not do anything significant today :( started the origin of species. 

8 - vaccine today except it starts at 10:30 since we’re waiting for the mayor. so i hung out on the screening table since the doctor room was hot. vaccine with dr lutfi. watched homcha and nanno. fell asleep

9 - vaccine with bang esa and other staffs in smp 8 cikerai. its apparently the highest point in cikerai. finished at 12-ish pm and we ate buffet lunch lol. made matcha latte again. this time with almost 1 spoon of sugar so it tastes good. i missss matcha. read 1 webinar ppt so i guess thats a little but its something. rip attention span

10 - usila. tried A BIT of duren from bu Tur for dr isip but its enough to make me retch lmao. was given labbaik chicken by bu oo. Some exercise. rly tried to make some progress but my brain just cant seem to muster

11 - kia/ugd. Some ugd patients. Spaghetti for lunch yay. Originally intended to go to cafe but i ended up falling asleep :) tried to get some progress for PPT. Involved a lot of staring into nothing. Slept at like 00:30ish am

12 - morning walk slash jog. The jogging track was finally open. Went to jannor. Ordered kopsus and meatball potato dish with gofood takeaway promo (spent a total of 30k) . The staff kindly asked whether i want to eat there or to actually takeaway lol. The meatball truly tasted like meat. The mashed potato was a bit dry. The weather was grey and cloudy, exactly my favorite. First time cooking kangkung

13 - vaccine today. 20-ish patients. Alone in kamar jaga since nessa went to mass vaccine. Zoom call with Prof. Dyed my hair blue in flow salon (1200K). got free manicure, It took 5 hrs 😅. another firsts in life. both the nail tech and hair tech said my hair was dry lmao. arrived in mess at 9ish pm. ordered nasgor in front of mess

14 - mi rebus for bfast. not too much patients for vaccine so i finished at like 10 am. napped at kamar jaga. got free rice box from dr arief etc yay :)))) got mochacinno at jannor. tried to do sumn useful but cannot. still no ppt progress aaa. watched homcha ep 6 together

15 - vaccine in al hanif. tried chicken-cakwe porridge near the school. the school was an all girls school, with ppl wearing long veils. tried to fit the placement test from cakap (12-1 pm) during the vaccination lol. had to excuse myself to the ssaem during photo sesh. napped so i could see the 17 pm cakap class but i ended up napping until close to 18 :) saw the 19 am class with lukas ssaem

16 - spaghetti for bfast. usila today. this dumbass forgot to wear komin and wore her rubber slip ons. turns out theres some money from al hanif vaccine. which is great bcs there’s literally no paper money in my wallet lmaoo. rested a bit. dr eva called and she gave me a ppt and chapter book job. sheeet theres no progress yet of Prof’s ppt. a wake up call. whatsapped with frends that planned to go to cilegon this weekend, but it ended up being the next weekend. thank god, because dr eva’s ppt deadline is 24th sept. set myself up on a spot in the vanity table so i can work in a chair (i frfr find it difficult to work on my own bed)

17 - some patients in UGD. Slept while waiting for 2 pm. Held off my sleepiness for zoom with dr Eva. 5pm cakap class. Matcha latte. 7pm zoom w dr eva. Fell asleep after that

18 - bp. Turns out teh imey also dyed her hair. cakap class abt bts' spring day lol. Worked on dr eva's ppt

19 - jogged a bit. had kopsus (20K) and fish fillet rice (27K). finished dr eva’s ppt with the given material so far. napped in mess. dr eva also revised the ppt on the same day so there’s 2 slides left (patient clinical profile and conclusion). took some time for me to get the headspace to work on ppt so i started prof’s ppt at like 7-ish. only got 1 slide. stayed awake until 11ish but i basically stopped doing useful stuff at 9 TT TT

20 - vaccine today, finished at 10 am. lounged around. went to bni to check on m-banking, still system error. transferred 3mil from my BNI atm to muamalat. tried nasi goreng roa and cakalang with added chicken shreds (20K). so goood. conversed with nessa zihan. did not open my laptop at all :) stopped by at rodalink bcs nessa wanted to buy a bike. drank matcha latte in an effort to curb sleepiness. worked on Prof’s ppt. fried the frozen kebab (35K) i bought from teh Rahmi. 

21 - vaccine P3K w teh yeni teh rahmi mas oim. 3 patients. Ate some gorengan and talked lol. Did the abstract and ppt for dr eva. Worked on Prof's ppt.

22 - usila w mas oim. Had banana, bolu and protein for bfast. Ordered nasgor roa cakalang from bakuku for lunch. Felt suuuuper sleepy afterwards. Wanted to sleep again in mess but couldnt. Washed my shitton of clothes with washing machine. Heavyyy. Worked more on PPT. Too much denial this week

23 - picked some groceries @ bu rum. Kia/ugd today. Its been a while since i last checked DJJ. Successful first attempt but fail in the 2nd bcs the baby is still floating. Cooked meat and veggies with nessren. Jannor and kopsus again. Worked on ppt til my head hurts. Its a little bit more to gooo.

24 - bp. Made myself bento with nugget and left over veggies. Finished the smol details of the ppt and finally sent it. Watched shangchi @ transmart w chillegone. The film was fun! We cooked soup at mess and tri made perkedel. Watched homcha ep7. Slept

25 - Vaccine but there was no vaccine, so I went to UKK @ villa ternak cikerai with pkm peeps. its like opening a clinic but somewhere in hills area. got treated to bakso and tempe mendoan afterwards. lazed around in my bed, with no info from jkt friends who wanted to visit but suddenly they arrived lmao. went to amaris to catch up with them. thankfully it was not hourly parking. ate at saung bonang near the billiard place with heri joining us. total bill for five was 126 lmao its rly pocket friendly. heri borrowed my motorbike bcs his friend’s place doesnt have car park. thank god we brought the bike

26 - me and racheel went downstairs to get the hotel bfast. packed fruits, tempe and bread upstairs lol. put our stuffs in royal krakatau. took maxim to pulau kecil. turns out pak asep changed his number. it was raining there, so we sat a bit and got mie rebus. had lunch at amirang (my treat). there was only us inside. the food was okay but the meat was rly overpriced for its amount. went back to the hotel. went to indomaret and mess with racheel to get my stuff. my stupid impatient ass dropped atikah’s brand new iphone while pulling the hotel towel from the bathroom rack. im sorryyyyy. racheel and i swam until maghrib. atikah told us abt her boy “friend”. slept early at like 9-10ish with the usual width but longer leg space

27 - and suddenly its time to go to puskesmas. asked nessa to bring my shoes. said goodbye to friends. BP. there were a lot of patients. kanayam for lunch. i bought shades lol bcs i commute against the sun in the morning. cakap club. watched homcha. fell asleep

28 - vaccine. finished at like 10:30. tried to go to bni to install mbanking but the queue was like 20 ppl. did the outline for the red book. liqo with kak kartika. zoom meeting with dr eva. fell asleep again

29 - vaccine in sma 3 cilegon (cikerai) with bang esa and others. finished at like 2-ish pm. got 750K hehehe. mentoring with dr. Arnadi about KKD and HHS. bought rotbak with nessa. showered and cleaned and fell asleeep

30 - cooked tempe with leftover kanayam chili sauce. bp again. saw interesting cases today, such as fixed drug eruption. bought phd from gofood promo. went to jannor and got the usual kopsus with added espresso (since the min amount for gofood pick up promo was 25k). tried to do prof’s script but cannot, so i searched the literatures needed for dr eva’s project

[led123123]

nice.. he’s bitching at me at 8am now.. instead of 10 or 9 am

https://images.app.goo.gl/NpHdTkDnCSzugFrs8

https://youtu.be/4lKl7ZxIJlg?t=38

wow vanessa is popular name what the 

and they look similar

https://youtu.be/4lKl7ZxIJlg?t=61

https://youtu.be/4lKl7ZxIJlg?t=85

“vanessa very smart” xD

they’re calling people “uncle” for some reason.. in korea etc

there’s like no even any bread so I can’t even eat anything and he’s still bitching at me to go to work with him.. just gotta kick his ass ffs because this is he’s making me so mad

going on f*cking dates and bitching at me stupid shit

didn’t buy any bread xD

he didn’t buy me f*cking food

he didn’t buy me bread.. to show that he doesn’t give a f*ck

and I don’t give a f*ck too. he didn’t care anyway.. he’s buying only food for himself.. and even though he oves me money he still gets mad at me for not giving him money back for the hard drive.. I know I shouldn’t have asked him for anything..

because I didn’t find any money in my wallet

and now he’s telling me to go to work when there’s no bread to eat..

he didn’t even buy me bread.. that’s how much he cares..

dumbass.. he will buy all the food for himself but not for me.. stupid shit.. 

stupid retard he only thinks about himself.. he doesn’t give a slightest f*ck about me.. 

2 days ago.. he also showed that

stupid dumbass.. doesn’t even buy food, talks shit on me all the time and spends his time going on f*cking dates 

instead of doing anything and expects me to do it instead. and treats me like shit and doesn’t even care to buy me food and talks shit on me all the time f*ck you stupid shit

didn’t even buy me bread today.. then why he tells me to go so early.. if there’s not even any bread..

not even buying any bread.. f*cking dumbass.. he’s becoming unbearably annoying

he’s like.. being transparent that he’s being so salty.. not buying any bread..

fucking dumbasses.

f*ck you.. 

f*cking trash..

I can usually.. do a cake.. pizza requires more time.. 

he’s gone at least.. 

https://youtu.be/q4FwKFk658c?list=RDq4FwKFk658c

https://youtu.be/q4FwKFk658c?list=RDq4FwKFk658c&t=195

this sound.. like..

https://images.app.goo.gl/fBKe9tGjTW9LKiRY7

https://youtu.be/RBHPjpWuX_o

https://youtu.be/zDDmLXoqvms

lol I don’t need a duck 

https://images.app.goo.gl/5J48jU2mE3LW1zJC6

https://images.app.goo.gl/vR6iVyhaxmWvwjZ97

https://youtu.be/PEg154YbOZk

https://youtu.be/PEg154YbOZk?t=228

xD

https://youtu.be/PEg154YbOZk?t=236

wow sven is fast

https://youtu.be/PEg154YbOZk?t=333

xD

https://youtu.be/PEg154YbOZk?t=720

sabre, mom? and aghs??

why aghs.. 

https://youtu.be/PEg154YbOZk?t=882

wow zero mistakes

https://youtu.be/kDQvkaLrlas?t=190

true

https://youtu.be/kDQvkaLrlas?t=420

I used to.. like.. always have.. pt on agi..

and I was dying a lot.. and.. with pt on strength.. it’s a lot more difficult to die.. on qop or any agi hero 

https://youtu.be/6743rcg-gGc?t=351

xD

https://youtu.be/6743rcg-gGc?t=429

https://youtu.be/6743rcg-gGc?t=724

AC. that’s my axe build

or tomato soup.. I didn’t eat tomato soup in a long time

https://youtu.be/EixjjEYQZz4?t=212

wow only 35 mana 

https://youtu.be/zDDmLXoqvms

lol. I don’t need the toy. 

god.. this hard drive is so loud..

it makes whole case an acoustic membraine..

I don’t know how to isolate it from the case..

it actually came with some sponge.. maybe they included it to make it more quiet actually..

I can reduce vibrations only by limiting the contact with the case.. and.. paper towel doesn’t do that well actually.. best would be.. like.. sponge or sth

and I don’t know how to mount it in the case.. like.. it’s gonna just.. be loose..

if I want to reduce the contact with the case.. then it’s gonna be loose

it makes the case acoustic membrane 

I can also add these.. stuff on the case.. that people add.. to make it quiet

https://images.app.goo.gl/j3ndCR8tvGhEA2NX9

these mats..

https://images.app.goo.gl/895kNiBi4qNWPRTbA

https://youtu.be/AU8fjNeR1mc?t=13

https://youtu.be/AU8fjNeR1mc?t=111

I took this hard drive outside of the case.. and now noise is gone

I can use like.. a rubber technique.. or something

https://youtu.be/LrmatvP5czo?t=461

the downside is that they’re may get displaced after moving 

https://youtu.be/LrmatvP5czo?t=76

maybe this is why they included a sponge with this hard drive..

sponge has a lot of air bubbles and reduces vibrations very well

it works like a guitar.. in guitar strings transfer vibrations to the inside of guitar.. and it produces noise

https://youtu.be/H5uO8aH1m9s?t=53

https://youtu.be/Q2meWkWqc-I

japanese guitars are different

it’s called banjo or something

https://images.app.goo.gl/sLTNjtThodV8Sy6E7

yes. pretty much banjo

https://youtu.be/Q2meWkWqc-I?t=109

lol they always put camera on girl thighs 

https://youtu.be/K_xTet06SUo

https://youtu.be/K_xTet06SUo?t=75

https://youtu.be/Yy3vgFtEWMA?t=15

https://youtu.be/Yy3vgFtEWMA?t=39

https://youtu.be/t5OMEppo16k?t=183

https://youtu.be/t5OMEppo16k?t=336

https://youtu.be/iuuEC4Mow2g

this solution

https://youtu.be/iuuEC4Mow2g?t=44

damn I don’t have as much space on bottom to put it like that..

these apples have become less sour like.. 2 weeks after being picked up

so they’re better to eat now

https://youtu.be/Q2meWkWqc-I?t=156

I like eating apples in the morning. because they have a lot of water. I mean.. like.. 

they’re still are somewhat sour though.. so normally I would eat maybe one.. but I need to eat like.. 2 of them because there’s.. like.. I can eat cereal too.. but.. like.. they’re already 2 weeks old or something around that.. so. like.. I wanna eat 2 of them I don’t know how much they will last

they’re a lot less sour than before

they’re still a bit sour but a lot less than before.. and they’re getting yellow.. so I don’t know how much more they would last.. 

https://youtu.be/Q2meWkWqc-I?t=196

https://youtu.be/RWNCw8jhmdA?list=PLv-W-LvjYIcaEPFF-N2f2U6z1_CITB0o9&t=62

adziuma

https://youtu.be/q4FwKFk658c?list=RDq4FwKFk658c&t=102

https://youtu.be/zDDmLXoqvms

https://youtu.be/q4FwKFk658c?list=RDq4FwKFk658c&t=227

damn.. I wouldn’t want to be them.. dancing like that in high heels

it must be so painful

I don’t wanna eat cereal because it’s dry and gets stuck.. in my broken tooth

“is time travel possible? yes. we all time travel forward all the time”

I can’t mount this hard drive like that.. 

damn like.. when I’m only making food only for myself.. it’s.. kinda.. I can’t eat as much.. as I would make.. so.. like.. 

should I make a cake??

because if I make soup then I can’t eat all of it and it gets expired very fast.. cake never gets expired practically

but I want cake with groats.. damn

it’s really good. maybe I should just.. I don’t know.. cake with groats may also get expired faster.. true though

I don’t know. is it gonna get expired like.. I don’t know how fast it’s gonna get expired

I guess when I’m alone I would rather make food that would last more time.. like cake.. because I can’t eat the food I make very fast.. because when I’m alone I can’t eat as more than one person

maybe I would make.. noodles.. they’re.. don’t require as much cooking right?

they get soft very fast right?

this is why people use noodle pasta.. because.. like.. it gets soft fast

it takes less time to cook

so it’s better for people who don’t cook for more than 1 person

https://youtu.be/5elvX4u9h-E?t=133

oh my god her hair is the loba cosplay wtf

https://images.app.goo.gl/USsCNhYoAMz3Mbs66

https://images.app.goo.gl/rKZ7XRCtYQ9HYXEr6

https://youtu.be/5elvX4u9h-E?t=217

how is speedhacking also possible like.. I understand why aim hacking is possible but speed hacking. how

lol she did loba cosplay

she did her hair to look like loba

god.. no bread.. 

I need to make soup. it’s the fastest thing to make

I would like to have.. soup and a cake 

chocolate cake and a soup 

would like to have it right now

like.. I should.. make like.. cake.. and noodles.. 

https://youtu.be/Yy3vgFtEWMA?t=17

https://youtu.be/hWJLiMCA1Gw?t=84

https://youtu.be/9EV6pLzcRb0?t=235

when I took it out it doesn’t make as much buzzing noise 

I wonder if I can do this.. I don’t know.. probably not.. my hard drive cage is very small

maybe I should actually get these dampering mats.. but.. it’s because of vibrations.. like.. I guess I just need to add more mass to PC to absorb the noise and not move around.. like.. transfering vibrations to the massive stuff instead of case walls

like.. some material that doesn’t transfer vibrations

I tried paper towels.. but it doesn’t work maybe a cloth would be better

cloth has more mass

it makes a lot of vibrations

and.. I need to make something.. to prevent it from transfering it to the case.. because case is very thin

the whole case if vibrating.. I can also.. like.. add more mass to part of case..

so it can absorb more vibrations before it gets loud

this dampering mat is very cheap. I wonder if it will work

they are cheap I can buy them

I can just wrap this hard drive in this mat.. but it’s gonna get hot..

okay.. so I read.. that.. to make it quiet.. I need to put a lot of dampering material or something.. something that absorbs low frequencies well

people say I need thick wool

if my mother really wants me to kill these shits then I’m gonna f*cking..

people say that I would need a lot of wool to reduce this noise

sh*t..

lol. I wonder if I can return the hard drive.. lol... 

I knew it maybe be louder.. but.. I didn’t think that it’s gonna be so hard to make it more quiet

I need like very good insulation. but hard drive also needs some air cooling.. I mean.. I’m using air cooling for hard drive.. but air transfers vibrations.. so it’s kinda..

damn. I need like.. rubber material or sth.. to wrap it to reduce vibrations

it can’t be paper.. because paper is too light.. and.. maybe like.. crushed paper would be better.. crushed paper.. and.. wrapped with electric tape

this could be good ideal

https://youtu.be/drsuQw8Pneg?t=418

oh. I’m good ideal

https://youtu.be/drsuQw8Pneg?t=480

I need to make cake..

or.. I could like.. make bread on my own.. like.. but it would take time.. to grow.. like.. it has to grow for some time I guess

https://youtu.be/drsuQw8Pneg?t=510

lol her lips look like roland clown lips

“everyone is trash like paolo coelho” - paolo coelho

I’m making noodles..

god.. wish I could make cake too f*ck you stpid shits

who was making these noodles??

https://youtu.be/lC-0j-5GdjU

[cbdoilbenefits1]

Get Your Full Quota of Nutrients

[ad_1]

So, what is new about this that you already don't know? Think again. It is not what-you-are-aware that is important, but are-you -alert, that is. Keep your eyes and mind open to avoid upsets to your normal health. Well, take out your diet chart and critically examine it again. Are you eating the right food? And are you eating healthy?

At the onset, we will accept that eating healthy doesn't just end at eating good food. The daily nutrients and calorie charts vary for each individual depending on her requirements. An athlete and a sedentary person have different requirements for their nutrients and calories as they burn up different amounts of them. It also depends on your age and body mass index.

The USDA has compiled required calories chart for Americans for 2005 which is here for you.

If you are consuming less than 1800 calories and you are a teen, you should think of raising it to at least 2000 counts a day. Now, where will you get these many calories from and how do you calculate the calorific values of the food you take? And what other nutrients you need?

I won't go into boring details about a fantasy called food. In brief, the USDA has also drawn up a chart to suggest us all what to eat to get these many calories. And they call it the food guide pyramid. It is just that you have to do a bit of a calculation in order to balance your diet.

Up to 5 servings of vegetables

Up to four servings of fruits

Three servings of milk products

Up to 11 of pasta, cereals, and bread

Two to three servings of meat (both red and white), eggs, nuts and beans put together.

Very sparingly fats and sweets.

So, how much should you treat a serving to be? Let us see what USDA has to say on this. One serving of grains is a slice of bread, one ounce of cereal, ½ cups of cooked rice and vegetables each, one cup each of juice and milk and 2 -3 ounces of lean meat, one and a half cups of boiled beans (Omi... so much!!)

Additives or preservatives are regulated stringently by FDA for our benefits. The manufacturers establish to FDA, the proven benefits and whatsoever adverse effects of the new additives conclusively before approval. The major criteria for approval are that additives should not cause cancer or heart diseases.

SNAC - S T U D E N T N U T R I T I O N A W A R E N E S S C A M P A I G N, UCLA, has done some interesting findings. According to them, the additives constitute just about 1% of your total food supply. Of which 98% are sugar, salt, pepper, mustard, corn syrup, citric acid and baking soda. And preservatives such as calcium propionate are used to extend the shelf life of bread. But wait a minute! Beware of preservatives like saccharin, sodium nitrate, ace sulfame K, BHA, and BHT. They are known to cause cancer.

The controversies on additives need not worry you if you took some extra caution. This isn't something none of the Americans do. A good way is to learn more about additives and resorting to more of the fresh or minimum processed foods. Also, keeping track of additives help minimize exposure to particular additives.

It makes sense to be a little careful while buying vegetables or fruits. It is better to buy fresh in season. Look for bruises and scratches or cuts on the vegetable skin. These cuts and bruises hold microbes that spoil the food very quickly. Buy when you want to instead of stuffing your refrigerator. Most fruits and vegetables have a shelf life of 4 -5 days.

Now where on earth this food poisoning came from? Or is it that some body intentionally ...? Well. Vegetables and fruits have high health protection values. Still they get contaminated unintentionally because of their handling at the farm or at the market and during transportation. The bacteria and virus come from the environment and soil. And then there are pesticide residues. You never know when you don't get your health upset, because of any of these. Handle this issue carefully. You don't need to use specialty cleaning agents for washing your food. For vegetables and fruits use 10% soap solution to soak before washing in running cold water. You know, washing in running water effectively removes up to 90% of bacteria. So, washing twice removes maximum contaminants and bacteria. Also you can use a mild scrub/brush with soap solution to clean. Take care not to damage the skin of your food. Some experts also recommend potassium permanganate to soap solution. But it leaves its characteristic odor.

Never forget to sanitize all surfaces you prepare your food on. Warm soap water or bleaching water (1 tea spoon bleach powder to a liter of water) kills most known kitchen bacteria. Wash your grill twice, before and after you use it. Dry it before you start using it. Don't forget to wash your hands before you handle the now clean food and every time after you use toilet, sneeze or cough, clear a table et cetera. Use paper disposable towels to dry off hands rather than cloth. This ensures maximum safety by eliminating recontamination chances.

Finally, what chop board you use also determines how healthy you eat. If you are using a PVC, acrylic board, they will have smooth and non-porous surfaces when they are new. They do not have scratches or cuts. As you use them on, scratches appear on the surface and they can hold vegetable particles and microbes begin to develop. This can not be entirely washed away as the scratches are smaller than most of the brushes. Health experts recommend chop boards made of maple wood. Maple wood is less porous than most wood, very hard and is known to have anti bacterial qualities. Wash it with hot water with a tinge of bleach and prop dry it. It is a good idea to oil it twice a month (odorless vegetable oil or mineral oil).

The secret lies in not leaving anything to fate but keeping your eyes open to possible risks to your health. Alertness can only keep you fit, slim and more than anything else -healthy. Wish you 'Happy Eating'.

[ad_2] Source by Alevoor Rajagopal

Article Here: Get Your Full Quota of Nutrients