#i posted everything i wanted to post on twit so if u know what it is you know where to find it 😭😭

[edgelite]

got to see moxley and his fuzzy boobs in person i can die happy

[glaivenoct]

Trick or treat!

Ask Box Trick or Treat - Fic Edition

Haaaiii <3 thank you for sending and happy hallow!!

I was interested at the OG post mentioning a deleted line. I usually try to clear out draft docs so they don't take up space and figured I wouldn't have anything along those lines, but it turns out I have a few stragglers. I remember talking abt this specific thing over on twit ages ago too -

A little something that never made the cut in Chapter 3 of All The Things I Lost On You - the Noct's shitty ex flashback fic for Cagefighter AU. So, this is post Miles Makes a Scene and Tries to Get Physical with Ignis at Noct's Party. In one version of the chapter, Miles was still waiting for Noctis at the apartment when Gladio dropped him off. However, Miles completely ignored Noctis' existence rather than starting an argument. So, instead, I had Noctis decide to take a hot bath to try and relax. He caught up on his texts in the meantime; I wrote texts from Prompto, Luna & Gladio, but these probably have to be my favorite texts I wrote out;

This might seem basic af but I really really love these bc, for anyone that doesn't know, I am very much a sucker for Protective Uncle Cor dynamics - and I got to utilize that a little bit in the previous chapter of this 4 chaptered project. That, and the dynamic of Noct's family in this particular AU. Neither Regis or Cor knew until this moment that Noct's relationship wasn't the healthiest - Noct didn't want them to ever have an inkling about it, and in this moment he's very much embarrassed by the fact that they know now, and they're probably itching for the next chance they get to try and talk to him about it.

And when Noct reads these texts, all he wants is to apologize for Miles making a scene. To reassure them that everything is okay (even tho its not) and they don't need to waste their time and energy worrying about him. But at the same time, he just wants to disappear, never show his face to anyone again, and forget it happened.

I'd also like to point out -

What Cor Says: text your dad you're safe so he doesn't worry What Cor Means: text your dad so he doesn't worry ok? because then he'll tell me you're home safe and I won't worry ok? Ok thank u.

This is the family dynamic Noct deserves damnit!! It is meant to be present in Cagefighter AU the further it develops! ;u;

[leclerced]

kinda got scared thinking about my digital footprint and am considering deactivating my account , worried people i know are going to find out it’s me based off of the hints i’ve spilled about my personal life… plus is everything goes well and i end up in motorsports journalism the links i’ve shared linking to my personal tiktok account is pretty damn scary…

-🪼🪼🪼

don’t stress about it!! i’ve been thru various fandoms and only once has anyone i know irl ever found one of my accounts and i have had friends search for HOURS. and she only found my old twitter account after i told her i had been tweeted by twizzlers, and she went through a years worth of their tweets to find the reply and be like omg!! i found ur account!

also ive sold nudes n shit, they are def still out there, i think the twit acc i sold them on is still up and i just changed it into an anime twit acc lmaooo. let someone use my phone get on d*rk web to order … things … so i feel like that might be on there idk. i’ve posted on every hellsite available, literally tweeted that i wanted luke hemmings to cum in me While He Followed Me. ok i was an insane teenager. im pretty sure the tweets are still up and he still follows 😭 my digital footprint is a mountain range. anything u can do online ive done it.

trying to be reassuring that it’ll be ok bc im attached to u and dont want u to deactivate !! w tiktok, the app is gonna fade eventually and when they check ur digital footprint they’re not looking at links you copy/pasted and shit. if need be, make a burner tiktok account for when you send links so it’s not linked directly to yrs!! i doubt theres a way they could find every link you copied from tiktok then search the internet to see where you sent it and what you said about it, it’s like looking over public accounts you disclose to them or they find when they search your name and shit, so if tumblr doesn’t have your full name and shit it’s not coming up on any searches, i wouldn’t think.

also can i say i hate that tiktok does that its so fucking weird and intrusive imo.

[hesitationss]

fb+/meta or whatever is one severely unfunny joke. i know i am mostly a hater of social media, but i don't see how threads is going to be better for usability and reach. especially given how shit numbers are on IG (i get more noted "per capita" of followers on tumblr and twitter for untagged posts). i already made a small thread of zucc apps being shit which I'll copy paste here. i don't know how people are thinking threads is going to be better than any of the twitter alternatives when it's most likely the WORST option out there. anyway-

the reason why the other twit replacement apps aren't as insidious as threads (zucc/fb owned) should be obvious, but i'll list some things:

• infamously on zucc platforms you can get reported for saying "white people" which is why so many of us say yt now (a bit of poc social media history for u from the 2010s)

• private messages are sold/given to police no warrant: this could be anything used against you, could be protest info, where you've been, etc.

• right wing propaganda/misinfo is lucrative for facebook. this is something that heavily affects the global south btw.

• they lie about views and growth for business accounts to keep you on their platform. the case i know best is that they inflated college humor's analytics to compete w youtube. this resulted in so many businesses throwing money and labour at facebook w out much return.

also zucc sucks, he's pure evil... like u don't need me to get into *that* hopefully

addition:

omg 🙄 so shocked 🙄 that zucc is further propelling nazism on his latest app that has the exact same content moderation as all his other fucking apps lol 🙄 who would have guessed ?

Far-right figures, including Nazi supporters, anti-gay extremists, and white supremacists, are flocking to Threads (Media Matters)

Adding sources:

Point 1 - i can't find any formal articles that document the particular insidiousness of this, but I and many others who were in BIPOC only "leftbook" groups had either our accounts or groups we joined completely nerfed for using language against white people. hubs that had been for info dissemination, discussing theory, and organizing were marked as hate speech or reported by white reactionaries (even "leftist" ones)

Point 2 - Has been apparent since Michael Brown's murder by police in 2014 and the protests following, but was esp apparent in protest following George Floyd's murder and subsequent protests.

FBI trawled Facebook to arrest protesters for inciting riots, court records show (NBC News)

Point 3 Links - Facebook Admits It Was Used to Incite Violence in Myanmar (NY Times) | Whistleblower: Facebook is misleading the public on progress against hate speech, violence, misinformation (CBS) | How Facebook and Google fund global misinformation (MIT Tech Review)

Link for point 4 - Adam Conover talking about College Humor's inflated FB numbers (plus many other articles have been written about this)

more on the privacy shit - sex workers who have used fb AND ig on burner emails with fake names, had their emails and real names auto linked bcuz of how much a little bit of information goes. how fucked up is that.

How Facebook Outs Sex Workers

BTW i have been preaching this for years but if you want to learn why our internet is fucked up, learn about what happened with net neutrality cases in the US, and then later, SESTA FOSTA (primarily targetting sex workers but is the reason why everything is censored now). ppl online have been warning everyone about this for years, but you are just now experiencing the consequences. but again, nobody listens to things that target primarily sex workers.

plus from a functional standpoint, if you want to delete your threads account, your instagram is deleted as well. like it really doesn't seem worth it for people who are desperate to find the social media that will stick. i don't have anything nice to say about any of the other social medias except that some Mastodon instances do a great job at keeping nazi's out and using alt text, but the bar is extremely low and everybody else is even lower ^_^

[abiiors]

ok i had a full nights sleep. i am coherent. i am fixing to copy/paste the tweets here for your enjoyment. its a lot.

ok so parx twit had a “trend” on unpopular opinions about the band during the sneaking out of heaven tour (their most recent one) one person said this

“Had to be said. You forgot his over dependence on nyquil and sleep drugs that borderlines abuse, he claims he's straight edge though ✨”

she deleted and posted a noted app apology

“Hey friends, I'm writing this to you, not just as an apology for writing dumb shit on twitter with no thought behind it, but to also share that I do suffer from my own personal addiction to pain medication, and have been since I was 17. Addiction is a real thing, it's a problem and it should be talked about, but not at the expense of others and making baseless assumptions. We all know where false acusations can lead, and it's never a good time. I've been reflecting on my previous inflammatory tweet about Awsten and his use of Nyquil and I want to say that I am truly sorry for my, dumb, offensive and very thoughtless tweet. I didn't stop to think before I wrote something so dumb and hurtful and I'm sorry for that. I'm not perfect, l'm human and I make mistakes. I know I fucked up hard and I'm sorry to anyone that was offended by my words. I can delete a tweet, but I can't take away the fact that I wrote it, and that it's out there causing anger to people, so l'm acknowledging that, and owning my mistakes. I am also very greatful to the people that took the time to educate me on this, I always appreciate any guidance. Moving forward I want to do better, internet etiquette is hard to get right especially when you're in a fandom spanning multiple generations and culture's but l'm definately gonna try harder.”

awsten saw the tweets and now that tour has been over for a while he has responded.

“HEY AND BTW WHEREVER THAT ACORNBRAIN WALMARTMOUTH BREATHING TWITTER DULLED CLOWN IS AT THAT SAID I HAVE A DRUG PROBLEM BC I TAKE ZZZQUIL TO SLEEP IN A BUS ON A THIN ASS MATTRESS, I APPRECIATE UR CONCERN AND I HAVENT HAD ANY SINCE TOUR ENDED, YOU CURED ME OF MY ADDICTION”

“GET COOKED WORMBREATH DUMBASS !!! I HOPE YOURE LIKE 14 BECAUSE IF YOURE OPERATING LIKE THIS AT FULLY GROWN, I FEEL SO SAD FOR YOU HAHA PAINT DRINKER”

he quoted a tweet with this after that.

“THIS AND THEN SELF-RIGHTEOUS PEOPLE SMELLING BLOOD IN THE WATER SWOOP IN TO PAT THEMSELVES ON THE BACK AND ABSOLVE THEM LIKE A PRIEST SAYING "we weren't trying to cancel u we wanted to hold you accountable thank you" LMFAO0000000 I LAUGH EVERY TIME, ITS A FULL CIRCLE OF STUPID”

“it's either a notes app apology or an "i'm taking a break" and they go priv and come back in like two days” ^quoted tweet

he also tweeted a picture of a confessional with “you are… forgiven”

“DUMBEST HILLS HAVE EYES MUTANTS ON HERE WILL BE LIKE “uM personally i think he is so immature and Anyone should be allowed to say Anything and Everything at All Times with no repercussions” SIKE BITCH THIS IS THE REAL WORLD OPEN YOUR EYES”

the person who tweeted what hes talking about is between 32-34 and followed them for a majority of the us tour. they flew in from australia for it. somebody tweeted the photo of the tweet that caused him to say that cropped so the persons @ was cut out and his response to that was

“NO MORE CROPPING NAMES, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, WE SHAME IDIOTS, WE SHAPE THE FUTURE”

“WORLD PEACE

IM OUT”

her response to the paint drinker shit was

“loved waking up to you caling me an idiot, thanks Awsten. This fucked up my mental health something fierce and put me in a really bad place”

“Woke up and burst into tears, thanks Awsten”

and a “Awsten what the fuck”

hold on ill link a few of my favorite tweets from the situation because now what the fuck tweet is a whole fuckin joke.

https://x.com/lowkeyashan/status/1782178428982059407?s=46

https://x.com/aioevera7/status/1782185227428729005?s=46

https://x.com/tantrxmbee/status/1782170160209531077?s=46

-🦞

okay what i'm about to say might be a bad an unpopular take because i only have the context that you've given me in this ask so idk if this user used to be disliked before this, or used to be beloved or super popular or whatever else.

anyway i think awsten is... in the wrong here.

this is not to say that the user who tweeted about his alleged drug addiction is saintly and pure and innocent, that was a fucked up tweet to make regardless of if awsten would have seen and/or responded.

however... if i was a popular celeb with a wholeass fandom i would NEVER say these things publicly like sure i understand being mad that someone is talking to flippantly about drug use and speculating about your drug use online but then to go ahead and call them a bunch of names as well as essentially weaponise your fanbase in a way where they're now making memes about this person, making fun of them etc. i'm glad they're not 14 like he said but he didn't know if they were 14 or not, what if they were super young... what if someone who's barely a teenager had to deal with this not only from someone they adore but also from a whole fandom they considered their own??

anyway... yeah i hope tweetuser is fine and i'm glad there's no addiction here. ooofff that's a messy situation wow 😬

[fiendishpal]

hi fiend !! i just saw ur twit post about someone stealing some of ur beautiful jjk art and i just felt like i had to say i’m sorry ?? i truly love everything you make, your presence on all your platforms, and the liveliness you bring to my tl is something i consistently find myself grateful to experience. you are a very cool cool person and i am sincerely sorry this is happening and that it happens to so many of your peers in the art community as well. ik me saying this won’t change a thing and might not make u even feel any better about the situation bc i am just a little anon sitting across from my very own screen but i do want to say i respect you greatly. seeing that and hearing u say it was breaking your heart made me feel like i had to do something to try and make you feel better and unfortunately this is the best i can do for now 😣 i am saving up money and trying to find a job and i hope to use some of that money to support you in any and every future shop/store endeavors you decide to share with us all.

in the mean time, i lov u !! i’m sending you hugs and thinking about you and i hope you feel better, sincerely.

(i hope i’m not overstepping any boundaries. this is the best way i could find to say something anonymously,, i don’t mean to bring it up on a whole other platform as i see it is, rightfully, upsetting you, but i did want you to know you have people supporting you. again, if this is overstepping i sincerely apologize, please please feel free to ignore. be well, fiend <3)

oh anon, this made me feel a whole lot better! i actually got a little teary-eyed hahaha

ah well i guess no matter what kind of warning we do or whatever kind of explanation we do that explains how much it hurts us artists when ppl repost/resell art that wasnt even meant for production and just solely for fandom consumption in the first place,there are still ppl who actively choose to do things that hurt ppl.... for their own gain ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

i think i've already accepted this.. but it still hurts.

anon, i really appreciate the sentiment you brought into this message and thank you so much for taking the time to do this it really made me feel better❤ :')

i really appreciate your support!!! it really warms my heart and it would make me feel so much better if you're taking care of yourself too!!! this is definitely a me problem and i dont mean to put that pressure on anyone or upset anyone else, i just wanted ppl to be aware of the store so no one else buys from it. there's so much stolen art from that store ugh man i hate it.

thank you again so much anon!! you're not feeling it but im hugging you back, man. i appreciate it greatly!!!❤❤❤❤❤

[lamphous]

posting this at 1 am knowing full well no one will see it due to this site's lack of algo but:

personal update under the cut, feel free to keep scrolling lol—unless you are my literal brother! robert, don't read this, it's mostly stuff u know but the rest I'll tell you tomorrow ok?)

(and uhhh general medical tw and, spoilers, cancer tw, fyi)

if you follow my fandom twit you'll already know this since that inexcpliably became my outlet for this whole thing, but I wanted to say smth here both bc I've had this blog for literally 9 years and also genuinely consider some of you friends! if you know me irl DON'T FREAK OUT tho, it's ok

(also spoons are nonexistent lmao so fyi if you dm me I love & appreciate you but v v likely won't respond)

so basically: second week of september I felt a lump in my throat. this was the second time this happened (on july 31 sometime between dinner and bed it went from nothing to visible & sore, but I could breathe and swallow fine by the time I could get a doctor's appt it had stopped hurting & gotten smaller, so I didn't go bc $$$) and it was the same spot, but things were slightly better mid sept than in july and I was able to get an in-person appointment.

ultrasound, biopsy, etc, and oct 12 I found out it was cancerous—papillary thyroid, to be specific.

anyway, I'm saying this now bc I had surgery today so I actually have like. good news to report. eh, maybe. my surgeon is very good (despite his office being in fucking,, coon rapids, the bitch interned at beth israel! also we dress. exactly the same.) but they ended up having to take the whole thing out + some lymph nodes when going in it was looking like it was gonna be just the one half, the only place they found stuff before, so I have to take meds for... the rest of my life, and also I don't have any wrinkles or creases in my neck so now I'm gonna have this super visible scar lmao

but it's gone! (for now knock on wood knock on wood) and since I moved back home for the year and am not taking classes & unemployable atm lmao I can just convalesce. this whole thing has been just... exhausting and really bad for my anxiety (like basically all my triggers lmao, things visible under skin, needles, my neck in general, choking, cancer, *stefon voice* this experience has EVERYTHING) but the waiting and the scheduling and the all of that has truly been some of the worst, so I'm glad to finally have something done about it, y'know?

THIS IS SO WORDY!!!! OOPS. tl;dr — >i have cancer >are u ok >im alright but i have cancer

(also bc I know some kind soul is going to ask abt it, with my parents help I'm probably gonna be fine, but my paypal.me/ & venmo.com/ are both mildlydiscouraging)

(if you send me ANYTHING tho I will CRY and I absolutely will not know what to say bc idk how to take money from friends & acquaintaces so I probably won't say anything, just remember your name forever) (no such qualms abt strangers tho lmao) (the forever thing's not a joke btw, I still remember the name of the person I heard say I have beautiful handwriting across the room in 5th grade. I'm a life debt sort of person.)

[killmebutneverinsultme2]

Rules for mobile (Pinned Post)

The Code

Success. I’ve sufficiently pestered the wench to make me a blog, much to the cost of a certain behorned mischief god whose presence I must share. Follow the rules below, and there’ll be smooth sailin’, savvy?

This be an exceptionally selective blog. I was me mun’s first ever muse yonks back and I’ve pestered her into writing me again, BUT, she’s horribly pressed for time. Partners will likely be very few, else ones doubling up with Loki’s. Anyone is welcome to approach and enquire, but she and I will be leaning toward those either from me own universe or crossovers with which she’s highly familiar and characters in whom she’s especially interested. Ye have been warned.

Replies are like to be slow, up to a few weeks at most.

Partners must be 18+. Various themes of an adult nature may be found here. Sexual things will be tagged ‘#filthy pirate’ with whatever level/variety of sin I deem them. More details below.

Behave. There shall be no rudeness, no passive aggression, no hate, no censorship or generally being a twit. Do I make meself clear?

The Code - Extended (below the cut)

Hi, guys. I’m Pirate (oddly known as this long before I made Jack a tumblr). Here are my more detailed rules and guidelines for writing with me on this blog, though the absolute basics are at the top as, honestly, it’s never easy to remember everyone’s requirements.

Jack is a sideblog. If you’re being followed by a benevolentgodloki that means I’m following you back. I don’t need us to be mutuals (both following each other) for us to write together, but there is a greater chance of us having a partnership if we’re letting each other know we’re interested.

How I Roll

I note myself as ‘highly selective’. This isn’t to be an elitist bugger, it’s because we all only have a limited amount of time we can put in. I want to write what I enjoy with people I enjoy. I am married with two attention-seeking cats, two jobs, a slow-brewing intended writing career and a video game addiction.

Asks/Memes - I will usually answer these no matter who they are from but I may or may not turn them into a thread I intend to keep. Some memes are very much designed to be something that continues so context can be key. If you would like to know in advance whether I intend to answer and/or keep something, please do pop me a message and I will be kind and honest.

My Threads - While Jack’s blog is still exciting and new, I’m being a bit all over the place with who and what I reply to depending on which way Jack’s.. compass.. is pointing. I do have a rolling turn order that I adhere to (to the point that I can genuinely tell you who is next at any given moment) but it’s all piled in with Loki’s threads, meaning I can take a few weeks to get round everything. Every partner gets one of their threads answered within that ‘round’ and then I go round again. However, when I’m really into something/finding something easy to pop back, I treat myself to spamming certain threads or partners at my whim. I use rpthreadtracker.com to maintain what I have. 

I will remind partners of threads that have not been replied to for more than three months. If I do not do this, I have either forgotten/lost it myself, I’m not too fussed about keeping it at that stage, or you were absent for a long period of time. 

My Style - I will write in both past or present tense depending on partner preference. My default is past but I like either. Please kick me if I screw up and write the wrong one. I prefer using regular size font but I will make mine small on replies to people who use the smaller so that it looks neat. I will often match partners’ lengths and some formatting details e.g. bolding dialogue, but I struggle with doing novella-length posts for reasons below.

I have a bugbear to admit about role-play. What we call splicing. A good half of my partners write this way so I’m not about to tell everyone to stop but if you’re someone who does this, you will occasionally run into some frustrations when writing with me. ‘Splicing’ is when you retrospectively write dialogue or actions as having previously happened during your partner’s last post. These things are fine when they’re passive i.e. your character muttered them, thought them or you were writing what your character was doing at the time because that’s pretty much essential. The trouble comes usually when my characters talk a lot/ask rhetorical questions and partners choose to answer every single one despite the fact my character carried on talking. I know it’s an ass that I have talkative muses and you really want to respond to every point/get a word in, but putting words and actions into the past effectively godmods my muse into accepting they happened. If you feel your muse would have full-on interjected midway through their ramble, please ask me to edit my post/stop it at that point. Otherwise if you do prefer to splice, my muse will only respond to whatever it is your character did or said last in their post. This is one of the reasons I can’t write novella, because often there is only so much you can write before you’re stepping into the territory of changing what went before and not allowing your partner to do anything about it.

TL;DR don’t ever worry about your post being too short for me. If it’s one sentence long but it’s because something fast-paced is happening, I won’t be miffed.

Shipping! - no not that kind of ship, Jack. I love shipping. Ships all around. Let’s face it, romance can be one of the most exciting reasons we bother writing. I am open to a lot of ships for Jack, practically all of them. Yes, even that one. I will do downright nasty, toxic, horrible stuff, savvy? It’s fiction and Jack is a great indulgence for bad things happening to him as much as good. That said, of course don’t force something on him without prior agreement between us. Well, I mean, your muse can try and accost him and see what he does, just don’t expect him to definitely reciprocate. Jack and I are bi/pansexual. We’re open to everything. I will admit a heavy lean toward m/m but, that said, Jack is extremely fond of the ladies, more so than Loki. I am very into Sparrington especially.

Not Safe For Ye Olde Work

Sliding down from the above topic, I enjoy the occasional smutting. It is not a requirement from my partners. In fact, I’m warming very much to fading to black depending on the context/mood/if things feel a bit repetitive. I do feel a touch more comfortable with partners who don’t need that boundary but as I’ve recently figured ‘if it needs a cut, then it’s smut’ I know when to skip on.

Saucy material will go under cuts/Read More’s and be tagged as mentioned above with ‘filthy pirate’. Additional tags will be based on the citrus scale: ‘lime’ for general grabbing, ‘lemon’ for full on sexual content and ‘grapefruit’ if things get extra kinky. I will tag things such as ‘rape tw’ or ‘noncon tw’ or ‘dubcon tw’ where necessary. Please blacklist any or all of these at your leisure, or search them if you fancy :U I do NOT tag these as ‘ns.fw’ because tumblr just completely hides them from being searchable which is useless for my partners.

OC’s - Due to my time constraints I am extremely picky when it comes to OC’s. This is a good fandom for well-thought-out muses and I know firsthand how hard it is to make headway as an OC in the RP world. However, I also understand that for people like me, I want to dip in on this site to mostly play with the characters and worlds I’m really absorbed in and ship my weaselly black guts out. Some people have more time than others to really give your OCs the time and love they deserve. Unless I’ve played with you a long time and I really like the cut of your and your muse’s jib, it’s very unlikely I’ll bite. Apologies! The same goes for crossover muses from fandoms I’m unfamiliar with, but I will let you know if that’s the case.

Limits

Threads - I don’t have a strict limit on how many to have per person but please bear in mind that the more of these you have with me the longer it will take me to get to a particular one (unless I’m spamming it back and forth). This is more a mun/muse context how many I accept.

Exclusives/mains - I don’t do these although I may consider having a maximum of 3 or 4 of one muse depending on activity levels and to ensure plots don’t get mixed up or attention feel unfairly balanced.

Triggers/squicks - I don’t like body horror e.g. graphic detail of squishy bits having bad things happen to them. I’m writing a pirate so there’s absolutely allowed to be elements of torture/violence, just don’t stab him in the eye or chop bits off him. One torture-related thing sends me into a complete freakout which I’ll discuss with partners if we’re doing a thread of that ilk as needed. Kink-wise I’m not into mpreg, A/B/O or infantilism or toilet things. Just ask me/Jack if you’re after something XD

Who I Am/What I Need From You

Being yourself is the most important thing and I promise I am not a scary person (usually). We’re only human and it’s natural that we’ll get along better with some rather than others. This is more to give you a gist of the sort of person I am and who I gel with best.

So I’m a shy hermit at the best of times. I’m trying to be better at engaging and enthusing with partners over our threads because I realise more than ever this does keep things alive and make for a more enjoyable experience. I’m not always great at it. I work best with people who are patient and don’t worry too much on what I think of them and their writing, with people who are happy to keep threads going for the longhaul rather than keep dropping everything before I’ve had the time to get to the next post, and most especially people who accept that fiction =/= reality. I do need a certain level of quality, which doesn’t always mean perfect grammar, but it must be coherent, fun and creative. I like a relaxed approach, sharing mutual enjoyment in silly fantasy world sandboxes as escapism from (and exploration of) this complicated world we live in.

If you managed to read all of this, have a drink (even if it’s water). You’re a diamond. 

Pirate xxx

[vldjungwon]

hello hello everyone, my name is vicky and i bring to you today yang jungwon (j.w), the lead guitar, lead vocal member of 4am. this is my first time in veil and i am super stoked to be here and to get to plot with all your lovely muses. if have a profile and a background for you to read through if you wish, and i will also throw some more info under the cut to read over as well. i don’t have a plot page yet because i suck. anyway, feel free to add me on twit (@FaR0E) to plot, or just like this post here and i will hope into your im’s real quick. 

EDIT: good news, i managed to whip up a quick plot page

born and raised in seoul, both parents happily married to this day and has an older sister he hasn’t seen in... awhile. not because they hate each other, just because they don’t have TIME. 

has been playing the violin since he was 4. like, legit violin prodigy or something. played hard classical pieces that adults struggled playing on a 1/8th size violin when the kid was six years old. 

picked up guitar in middle school and picked up that just as easy. he’s just a virtuoso when it comes to learning instruments. he could probably learn to play anything you shove in his hands in a couple of hours. he will grin like a little shit about this fact. 

it might not be obvious, but he also really likes acting and wouldn’t mind a career as an actor. he always enjoyed drama lessons back in school and was the lead role in a couple of productions. tbh the kid is just a dramatic theatre kid and i apologize in advance about it. 

a graduate of hanlim multi arts and is PROUD of that fact. 

used to be in a high school band with some friends, but that is not exactly a fact anyone really knows because it was never serious and it was just a way to be musical over the weekends and chill out with some close friends. 

got scouted by atlas records when he was sixteen wandering around the mall with some friends. then proceeded to be locked in the atlas records basement for nine years, so he’s been drifting around the company for the LONG ASS time, so needless to say he’s a little desperate for 4am to do well now they’ve debuted because he does not want to go back to the basement as a failure. 

always putting everyone else before himself. during his trainee days he was known to be a shoulder to cry on and always telling stupid jokes to try and cheer everyone up after a particularly bad day of practice. he does not like seeing people upset and feeling down about everything so will do everything to cheer you tf up “now stop crying u bitch.” 

mister ‘cannot control his goddamn face’ when he’s not paying attention. you KNOW what he is thinking just from his facial expression. if he’s disgusted about something it is going to be written across his face. honestly, it’s like his facial expressions have a mind of their own half the time. he can’t control them. don’t ask him to. he OWNS it. 

*sees any footage of him as a kid* “i am.... disgusted.” you know how when idols are shown older clips of themselves when they were kids they get embarrassed and smile and be all fond about it? yeah, jungwon doesn’t. he will wrinkle his nose up with an expression of “ew” written across his face. 

very VERY good at witty comebacks and one liners. jungwon will have a punchline for literally anything and will be very annoying about it as well. 

can be loud. like, very loud. when he get’s a chance to talk he is gonna talk and will not stop talking until you tell him to stop. he will also go off on tangents about completely unrelated things if you let him ramble on for too long. 

while he likes to think he can do anything, the simple fact of the matter is AEGYO MACHINE BROKE. he cannot do cute. any time he is forced to act cute, he will want to punch himself in the face afterwards or loudly smack his head into a wall. 

when he can’t sleep (which is a lot of the time), he will just start playing the violin. so this can be at like... 3 in the morning when everyone else is trying to sleep. i really am sorry 4am guys, this suxs for you. 

basically he’s just a huge dumbass with a loud laugh, a big smile, and stupid jokes. he’s always trying to be the mood maker in any group and usually it works out pretty well for him. 

[kpop-rambles]

Goodbye 2019. Hello 2020.

To celebrate the new year - which a lot of people are celebrating right now, I’m sure, unfortunately not me yet - I decided to create this post. I don’t know how to explain it but if you like kpop, keep reading!

My Top 3 Songs of 2019

1. SKZ - Miroh

This song got me into my now ult group, Stray Kids. Those 9 boys have honestly made this year 10x better for me. Chan’s VLives definitely helped me when I was upset, and the members made me feel emotions by their side. I’m so glad that add of Miroh appeared and I chose to watch it because I may have not gotten into Stray Kids without it. 

2. ATEEZ - Wave

Again, another song that got me into the group. I heard the song in a video where they played huge jenga at Kcon... I think? Anyways, this song is another banger and you completely fall in love with it first listen. You won’t regret listening to this.

3. TWICE - Fancy

I got into TWICE when they released YES OR YES, but FANCY is the song that you can’t not fall in love with. I did on my 2nd listen and man, if you’re saying you didn’t learn the dance and bopped to this song, you are LYING because- let’s be honest - everyone said FANCY SOTY. 

Groups I began stanning in 2019 its felt like forever tho

Stray Kids - March 26th. You think I would forget? 

ATEEZ - August 18th. Another date I remember, because I spent a good 2 hours getting to memorize the members name and faces. Was so happy when I finally did it. 

iKON - Honestly, I was more of a Double B stan since January until Hanbin left. I loved their songs but I never got to know the rest of the members, except for Jinhwan. 

ChungHa - Snapping dragged me in. That’s all I gotta say. Although, ngl, Gotta Go was something I always tried to dance to. 

KARD - Again, Bomb Bomb just pulled me into the fandom. The rest of their discography made me stay. I sang along to Bomb Bomb everyday for a good 3 months. It was honestly EVERYTHING to me and then Dumb Litty came and stole my heart and KARD did it AGAIN.

Mamamoo - gogobebe. Do I really need to say anything else?

GOT7 - I’m pretty sure I got into them because, well everyone knows GOT7. They’re a name everyone knows if you like kpop, so I just wanted to get into them. Eclipse and You Calling My Name are songs I’ll dance and singalong to in the right mood and right part of the song. But their personalities dragged me in. I’m pretty sure BamBam also attracted me when he was on Stray Kids reality show. 

Day6 - Time Of Our Life. I decided to listen to it because Seungmin of Stray Kids was a big fan of them and I was like, it shouldn’t hurt to try. Seungmin made me want to watch and Day6 made me want to stay. They don’t make ANY bad songs. 

Everglow - March 18. Listened to Bon Bon Chocolat when it came out, and I was honestly scared ppl were gonna sleep on them cause ITZY debuted a month before. Fortunately, everyone noticed their talent. 

BigBang - I dunno just listened to one of their songs. And, of course, I fell in love. Too late to stan them while they were active, but I’m expecting something in 2020... just saaying.

NCT - All of the subunits. Honestly there were so many of them, I spent time taking tests to tell them apart. The struggle to stan these boys. Instantly fell in with the Dreamies. And then I found out they weren’t a fixed unit... My heart shattered. It’s still breaking because 4 OF THEM ARE LEAVING. or left. I dunno. 

Tomorrow by Together - They were probably the most anticipated group of this year. I remember ppl hyping them up in October of 2018! Predebut stan right here. (I just remembered that I thought the preview of each member was coming out in age order and thinking that Beomgyu was the youngest. And I was just like WHERE IS HEUNINGKAI FROM?!?!)

ITZY - remember when everyone thought that itzy’s debut was rushed because info about them was leaked. yeah, i forgot too. anyways, again I was a predebut stan. 

(G)- idle - i always listened to their title tracks and I began stanning them during Queendom after their Fire cover im listening to 2ne1 2015 mama fire performance rn lol.... omg bom’s han cover just started playing. spotify is watching me guys.

Somi - Birthday was a bop. fight me. outfits sucked, gotta agree with that opinion I didn’t rlly know much about IOI but I started stanning because Jenchu were fangirling to it i mean jennie twerked for it!

Jimin Park - I’m out here still streaming STAY BEAUTIFUL. honestly she’s so loveable. her personality and her voice are everything. how can you not like her

My Top 5 Groups of the Year

1. STRAY KIDS - A lot of the reasons I luv them are the same as ATEEZ. That’s why ateez are close to being my number one, but honestly these 9 boys are everything to me. 9 or NONE FOREVER. They have been through so much this year and I hope they STAY strong for 2020. In their 2020 seasons greeting they announced a full album next year, so I’m ready to follow these boys on their journey no matter how many stay or leave. I’m a STAY for a reason. 

2. ATEEZ - PERSONALITY. I’m also a sucker for groups that shove their love for each other in your face. 8 makes 1 team, y’know? Hongjoong and Mingi are amazing rappers, Jongho, Wooyoung and San’s vocals tho, Yunho and Seonghwa’s deep voices are the death of me, and Yeosang dancing. They’re talented and luvable and that’s all I need for an ult group. also all their songs are bops

3. Mamamoo - Honestly would’ve tied with Twice but these I’m a sucker for them as ppl as well, and I need that to luv a group. they ain’t fake, they slap information in your face and they are POWERFUL WOMAN. (Not saying twice aren’t ofcourse) And these girls vocals are on POINT. Moonbyul is rapper material, but have you heard the girl song? What an angel. Their songs are all slaps, especially the most recent ones. 

4. TWICE - This was their year? yes or yes. Fancy soty. Feel Special was a great title track, don’t get me wrong, bUT HAVE YOU HEARD THE FULL ALBUM. Every song is my AMAZING. omg rainbow is playing

5. NCT DREAM - These boys stole my heart, I only stanned nct because of them. Honestly seeing the 00 line leave breaks my heart.

My Top 5 girl group and boy group songs

gg songs were honestly so hard to pick, they thrived and SO many good songs were made in 2019. But here is my list. 

1. Fancy - soty

2. Hip - this song was everything from the choreo to the song itself to the girls energy performing it

3. Psycho - came out like last week but it’s in everyone's top 10 of this year. Beautiful song that won’t get outta my head. getwellsoonwendy.

4.Violeta - this is another song that won’t get out of my head. honestly none of these songs will. ok so the final dance part after the drop of violeta pisses me off because the dance could is so powerful and that part comes and it’s such a disappointment but it’s the only part I can do so i shouldn't complain  but the song itself is very catchy. I don’t want these girls to disband even if the votes were rigged because they make a good group and sing bangers. i don't want them to leeeave.

5.Lion - the song is just so powerful. other songs they’ve made are good, but the chorus is usually a disappointment because the pre chorus is so good but EVERYTHING is great about Lion. Didn’t like it at first for some reason, i dunno why, but once you give it a few more listens you’ll fall in love. 

Now onto the boy groups. They made quite a few bangers this year as well.

1. Miroh - It’s my no.1 of the year. watchu expect?

2. Wave - and this is my no.2. Again, what else would I put here?

3. Run Away - what. a. bop. still can’t get out of my head. Crown was a disappointment to me after 1000 listens but not Run Away. A bonus is the Harry Potter references. With that I just was head over heels in love. Txt didn’t fail to disappoint with their comeback even if it was pushed back. 

4. Boom - This song made me fall in love with the talent that NCT DREAM holds despite being so young. Sang along for a few months. Actually, it’s still in my head. 

5. Make It Right - I was doing title tracks for all these but then I realised there has to be an exception because I just really like this song, especially the one featuring Lauv. Boy with luv wasn’t it for me but every other song on Persona is a straight up masterpiece (ok an exaggeration but u get what i mean)

Now onto the soloists (they’re all female, sry not sry)

1. Chica - I was debating whether to put Snapping or this but decided with Chica. Honestly the vocals, the song, the dance, the MESSAGE, is everything. I love it, it empowers woman, it makes ME feel good, and it’s what some people really need sometimes. So, thank you ChungHa. 

2. Gotta Go - another bop by our queen ChungHa, she really ruled this year. I didn’t stan her when it came out but that doesn’t mean I didn’t do the ‘deulshi’ part whenever I heard it. iconic.

3. Twit - Again another iconic bop from this year. (i thought this masterpiece came out last year, i dunno why but it just is so 2018 for some reason? I dunno) Hwasa’s solo debut really was everything. So was Moonbyul’s which unfortunately didn't make it on the list but I would say it’s in between 5th to 7th for me. 

4. Stay Beautiful - Such a beautiful song, it was a shame Jamie had to leave but she left JYP saying that they lost smth PRECIOUS and they would regret it and she conveyed all that in one song without hinting at it. So many quote worthy lyrics were in the song and it just bring up my mood and my standard for vocals. Don’t sleep on this girl, y’all. 

5. Birthday - the song brought out mixed reactions from everyone but i LOVED IT. It did get a bit old but it’s still something you’ll find me singing along to every now and then. 

ARTISTS THAT STOOD OUT TO ME THIS YEAR 

1. Bang Chan of Stray Kids. I love him. He’s such a great leader, he’s a loveable person, he’s all rounded and he fucks up sometimes but he acknowledges it and fixes it. He went through so much shit this year and he deserves so much more. I, along with many other STAYs are gonna make 2020 a better year for him and all of his group. Stay strong Chan! But besides his personality his stage presence, his rapping, his singing, his producing, his energy, his personality, it all made him someone who was always on my mind. 

2. Yeonjun of Tomorrow x Together. He’s also very well rounded and he really stands out to me from all the other 4th gens. Whenever I see a performance by TXT he always grabs my attention even when he’s not the main focus. I love his dancing, it’s very eye catching to me, along with his stage presence. He never loses his energy on stage and I expect a lot from him in 2020! His rapping and singing are amazing as well, especially for a rookie. Also when they first debuted he cried a lot, which was very heartwarming to me because idols showing emotion other than happy is something I appreciate, because it lets me remember they’re human too.

3. Seulgi of Red Velvet. She’s, again, very well rounded. I’m not really a Reveluv, but Wendy and Seulgi are vocalists who really stand out to me so those to kind of make me want to listen to Red Velvet’s songs. She’s an amazing vocalist, like words can’t express how much a love this woman's voice. Her stage presence is amazing as well, she’s just a really good performer imo.

4. Jihyo and Nayeon of TWICE. First of all I really like their personality and how powerful they are. Honestly a wink from them and I’m falling of my chair. Secondly, I don’t know if anyone's noticed but I really like powerful female vocals, and these two have extremely POWERFUL vocals. Have you heard them sing? Just... POWERFUL, that’s all I can really say to describe their voices. 

5. Mingi and Hongjoong of ATEEZ. They are rapper that are gonna blow away the whole industry with 3racha, I mean they already have. Did y’all see their performance in MAMA. The RAWEST vocals I heard that whole show. They were obviously not lip syncing, you could hear Mingi panting and he didn’t rap a whole line, and I LOVE that because it is RAW and we need more raw vocals or atleast breaths heard when the artists are dancing because it makes the performance more REAL. also stage presence is amazing from these two, they really know how to hype up a crowd. 

ROOKIE GROUPS I EXPECT A LOT FROM NEXT YEAR

sorry my expectations are high for them, but they have stood out tome so much and i couldn’t stand to see them flop. 

1. TOMORROW X TOGETHER - they’ve been on this list quite a lot, and I really appreciate their individual talents along with them as a group. I REALLY want to see them improve and grow more next year because they were really pushed this year, being BTS’s juniors. I’m sure they were really stressed but I want them to become TOMORROW BY TOGETHER not BTS’s juniors. Probably won’t happen in a year but hopefully in the next decade.

2. ITZY - another group really known for theing the juniors of TWICE this time. The title tracks they released so far have all been listen to it the first time, you don;t like it, but listen to it the 2nd time and it’s stuck in your head for the next 7 months. Honestly if they keep going like this, it would be like a ITZY thing, and I honestly wouldn’t mind. 

3. EVERGLOW - i think everyone just saw bon bon chocolat, gave it a listen, and loved it. but i also heard it was produced by someone who helped produce Crown by TXT and Spring Day by BTS, so there’s another reason ppl may have liked it so much. Adios wasn’t a disappointment at all.  Of course, I would also love it if Everglow kept up the “nanana” thing in each of their title tracks.

4. ATEEZ - I don’t think they’ll flop at all next year. I know they just had their 1st year anniversary, but I wouldn’t mind a full album... either way, Imma stick with them because they’ve only released that good shit so far and I’m honestly expecting a somewhat mediocre song at least once in their career next year. Not expecting it though. 

5. ONEUS - I haven’t’t talked about them yet but all of oneus’s title tracks are absolute gold. I am a mess for Valkyrie, Twilight AND Lit. They’re all just AMAZING songs. I mean, what did we expect from Mamamoo’s juniors but. They are REALLY good. Just go listen to all their title tracks rn. 

And finally, wishes for 2020

- Of course, Wendy to recover after her tragic incident at SBS. Again, I hope she recovers well

- Mina to come back from her hiatus, only if she’s ready to, of course

- BLACKPINK FULL ALBUM. ROSE SOLO. PLEASE.

- Of course, 4th gen to thrive along with 3rd gen and 2nd gen groups

- A full album from stray kids (which was confirmed) and again, maybe for ATEEZ? just maybe? 

- More attention for Mamamoo. They are underrated queens. 

- Less hate for Tomorrow By Together. People bash them just because they’re BTS’s juniors. they would be praised a less but definitely not doubted way more if they weren’t under Bighit. Yeah, they get luxuries other groups won’t but that doesn’t mean people should degrade them for it. 

And with that

I wish everyone a Happy New Year. May your next decade be filled with happiness and joy! omg fancy started playing

also i didn’t have time to properly edit this. then again i am a rambling blog, so what are you expecting?

[eveningmccartney]

~help! movie highlights

this is like my favorite movie so uH the entire thing is going to be here soooo spoilers :)

- that cut from ahme going 'where is the ring?!??' to the ring on ringo's finger. poetic cinema 

- help! is just a bop and i love it okay even if it makes me emo cause it's john crying out for help and :((((

 - paul boppin with his moptop :,)

- eleanor bron (ahme) is gorgeous o k a y

- 'has anybody looked in the wash basin?' me trying to be helpful

- the h o u s e

- the hecking h o u s e !!!!!!!

- i love their rooms okay

- why does george have a man who mows his lawn carpet with dentures?? we will never know

- the way john steps down onto his bed is somehow really cute to me- also i want john's bed

- paul rising dramatically from the depths of hell while playing the organ

- ringo's scream when ahme bites his finger,,, is he okay fshfhsh 

- paul's fucking eye roll at ringo after rings finally gets his hand free

- 'i thought she was a sandwich till she went spare on my hand' we've all been there

- props to the costume designer for this film honestly all of ahme's costumes are gorgeous 

- george looks so soft when he's sleeping aww

- honestly the 'sleeps with his feet on the pillow' gag is so cheesy but it works so well here and i love it 'cause of course ringo sleeps the wrong way 

- 'what are you doing on the floor?' 'i'm tired'

- john's excessive phone dialling

- george dancing in his bed :)

 - 'hey bea-atle'

- paul looks really good in this scene ngl 

- 'that's not the beatle with the ring!!' 'aren't i?' 'no, unfortunately *giggles*' 

- paul's look after that exchange is an entire mood

- 'what first attracted you to me?' 'well you're very polite aren't you?'

- some quality lennstarr content skjfjdjf 

- 'what're you doing?' 'posting a letter’

- the entire bathroom scene

- 'everyone laughs at ringo's sudden apprehension' george and john: ho ho hO HO HO HO

- b o n g o

- 'boys, are you buzzing?' 'no thanks, i've got the car’

- 'it was you buzzing, you naughty boy-'

- 'will you explain everything when the opportunity presents itself????' 'f l e e'

- it's a  s i t a r

- i love the subtle hints of a hard days night in the soundtrack throughout this movie 

- 'please say no more' 'i can say no more' 'say no more' 'i can say no more-'

- 'why is he not painted red?' 'i've never had the courage to ask him that, but seeing as he's my best friend, i will'

- john: *scoops some soup* what's this? glasses?

- slaughtered jolly with a knife!!!!!!!

- 'what's this?' 'a season ticket, what do ya think it is??' 'oh, i like a lot of seasoning in me soup :)'

- 'there's somebody been in this soup?!?'

- paul saving ringo :,)

- george stealing shit in the background at the jewelry store

- 'the wheel' 'nOt tHe wHeEL’

- 'you can see a lot of the world from the railings :)'

- john gets uncomfortably close to a lot of people in this film skskks 

- paul waving at ringo when his pants drop 

- john's weird ass fighting moves

- ahme's pink outfit!!!!! and matching pink gun!!! we stan!!!!

- paul stop flirting ringo is going to d i e

- oh it's time for my favorite song hHhheY YOU'VE GOT TO HIDE YOUR LOVE AWAY---

- ringo's salty tambourine playing 

- john is so pretty :,)

- so is paul

- and ahme

- this movie is bisexual culture

- paul just bouncing as he plays i'm soft 

- george whistling hhhH he's also v pretty

- they all are woAh

- george just full on passing out at the sight of the needle 

- the super tiny gong ksksks we love a good ol' sight gag

- ahme staring into my soul d a m n

- we love all the fourth wall breaking in this movie

- the exciting adventure of paul on the floor!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! my favorite scene!!!!!!!!

- john beating the shit out of a guy with a phone

- 'it's me you fool' 'sorry!' 'wELL STOP IT'

- ringo

- just ringo man

- when he gets splashed with red paint and just starts sobbing,,, me too

- them thinking ringo accidentally killed paul skskskks 

- 'ugh i'm all sticky,,, you're all red???'

- john threatening everyone with lamps

- the entirety of the ticket to ride sequence owns my ass

- everyone, while sledding down a hill: hO HO HO HOH HO HOHO HO HO—

- a fiENDISH THINGY!!!!!

- george taking a big ol' chomp out of the symbol

- i wonder if john blows that trumpet like he blows—

- 'only me and paul know we're here?' 'i know we're here??????'

- why are all the songs in this movie absolute bops

- paul and john hardcore gazing at each other during i need you

- paul smiling while singing :,)

- them calling john johnny :,)

- 'come on baby, get up, come on johnny'

- paul just carefully taking the hay off himself skksks

- 'hey cop this- one hand' sick tricks with paul

- john, holding a giant knife: it's just like getting a tooth out :)

- 'it is a relatemmam cademsnem'

- 'b a d  m a c h i n e'

- john's red dress shirt is a l o o k

- was paul actually just going to fucking bite ringo's finger off skskks great plan y'all 

- 'how do you know i wouldn't miss it?' 'well you're a rat underneath aren't ya' i chOKED

- ringo darling i love you but that haircut 

- 'all you have to do is sing beethoven's ode to joy from his ninth symphony in d minor' 'why didn't you think of that you tWIT'

- the beach outfits hH

- paul's ass–

- beepbeepbeepbEEPBEEPBEEP

- paul just whistling for his bike only for it to fall over

- the hard days night background music ugH i love it

- the orange blanket of d o o m

- george just latches onto the back of the car,, okay sticky boy

 - john is so fucking cute what the hECK

- the other beatles willingly letting themselves get hurt if it means ringo stayed safe :,)

- riNGO— riNgO— ringOoOOoO *coughs*

- ringo risking his life for the other boys :,)

- 'hey you're all red again' 'yeah i'm beginning to like it'

- john: *shoves a knife in his mouth and starts dancing with the constable*

well that's that!! hope y'all enjoyed :) (this got really long sorry i just really like this movie skskks)

bonus: - 'i nEED YOU BY GEORGE HARRISON—'

[mikauzoran]

Adrienette Drabble Twenty: Impulse

(Sorry I didn’t realize that I didn’t post this!)

“Plagg?” Adrien called as he returned to his bedroom. “Wanna go for a run? I’ll give you extra cheese.”

His proposal was met with metaphorical chirping crickets.

“Plagg?” Adrien checked under Plagg’s pillow and pulled open the sock drawer. “Plagg?”

With a frown, Adrien sank onto his bed. “Maybe he’s with Dad?”

Gabriel and Plagg has been spending an inordinate amount of time together recently. Adrien was kind of worried that they were becoming friends.

“Guess I’m not going on a run,” Adrien grumbled, grabbing his phone off of the nightstand and texting Gabriel: “Is Plagg with you?”

Within ten seconds, he had a reply: “Yes. Do you need him?”

Adrien contemplated his response. If Adrien said yes, Gabriel would be concerned because he would worry his son was either planning on sneaking out to go run on rooftops or because Adrien needed Plagg to fight an akuma. There hadn’t been any attacks since Gabriel had learned Adrien’s secret identity, so they had yet to deal with the reality that Adrien would sometimes be in danger for the safety of Paris (read as: Marinette).

Adrien sighed exaggeratedly as he typed, “No. Thanks!”

“Nope. Definitely not going for a run right now,” he pouted, staring up at his phone.

He pursed his lips.

His fingers were itching to text Marinette even though he knew it was a bad idea.

He called Nino instead, but Nino didn’t pick up.

With a frustrated growl, Adrien sent Nino a text: “Hey. Just wanted to let you know I got my phone back. Talk to you later!”

Adrien chewed on the inside of his cheek, reminding himself that he had promised Marinette he wouldn’t text her.

“You don’t want to look like a desperate stalker, do you?” his inner voice warned. “You’re lucky you got away with that stunt you pulled today going to the photoshoot.”

With another sigh, Adrien tapped into a prior string of texts between himself and Marinette and read through some of the old messages. While some of the exchanges brought a smile to his face, they simultaneously inspired melancholy as they reminded him of what he had lost, the intimacy he and Marinette had shared that his revelation had ruined.

Adrien dropped the phone on the bed and threw an arm over his eyes. “This sucks.”

He allowed himself a moment to wallow before he grabbed the phone and tried Nino again.

Nino did not pick up.

Adrien rolled over onto his stomach to more efficiently glare down at his screen.

The phone lit up with a text from Nino: “u need me mec”.

Adrien momentarily considered responding, “Yes, I’m bored”, but he knew better. Nino hadn’t answered Adrien’s calls because he was in the middle of something, but he had sent a text to check in, and if Adrien said that he needed Nino, Nino would drop everything and be there for Adrien. Adrien knew better than to abuse the privilege that Nino had given him.

“Nope. Just bored,” Adrien answered. “Thanks!”

“w alya” Nino lied. “talk later?”

“Later!” Adrien confirmed and then began scrolling down through old text conversations with other friends. The options were fairly limited as there were only seven or eight people whom Adrien texted, and two of those people were Nathalie and Gabriel.

He spotted a brief text exchange with Chloé from May when he’d wished her a happy birthday.

He called her on an impulse, thinking, “Marinette wants me to spend time with other friends? I’ll spend time with other friends.”

“Adri-chou, did you call me by mistake, or did you want something?” Chloé snorted into the receiver as soon as she picked up.

Adrien bit his lip. “Hey, Chlo,” he chuckled awkwardly.

“I’d assumed you’d forgotten that I was alive. I haven’t heard from you in over a month,” she accused.

“Yeah,” Adrien muttered. “Listen, Chloé. I’m really sorry that I dropped off the face of the earth on you. I’ve kind of been going through some things.”

“You mean girlfriends?” she sniffed, sounding personally offended.

Adrien winced. “Yeah. Okay. That’s fair.”

“…What happened?” Chloé inquired, voice softening as the edge came off her resentment. “A couple months ago it seemed like you were imploding, but then you started dating that redhead for a while and were stable again until you broke up with her a month ago, and then you went back to spiraling out of control. And this past week you kept disappearing. Like, even more than usual. What the heck is going on with you?”

Adrien took a deep breath and sighed. “I was in love with someone. I am in love with someone. To an unhealthy degree. I mean, to the point where I can’t be happy without her and whatever she does is fine, even if what she does is rip my beating heart out of my chest and stomp on it. I got a therapist, and she said that, basically, I need to tone it down and live for myself instead of for the girl I love, so…it’s pretty bad.”

“Wait,” Chloé demanded. “We’ll come back to the girl in a minute, but you got a therapist? Since when does your father allow you to see a therapist? Your father loathes therapists. He thinks they’re scam artists. I mean, that’s what he told Daddy when I started seeing my therapist. Are you sneaking out of the house and getting counseling on the sly, or how does that work?” Chloé scoffed incredulously.

“My Dad has actually been changing the past month. He’s really putting an effort into parenting. I told him I was concerned about possibly becoming suicidal and wanted to see somebody to help me get better, and he made it happen. I don’t think his opinions about therapy have changed, but we’ve kind of got our backs up against the wall as far as my mental health goes, so he’s willing to try anything at this point,” Adrien explained.

Chloé silently attempted to digest the information she had been given. “…You’re not actually thinking about killing yourself…are you?” she finally asked in a small, scared voice.

“No. We’re not at that point yet,” Adrien assured. “Well…I mean…okay. So last Saturday was really rough, and I may have briefly thought, ‘She’s never going to be with me, and I’m not able to love anyone else; I’m going to be alone the rest of my life. I’d rather be dead than live like that’, but I wasn’t seriously planning to do anything with that thought, so…”

Adrien fleetingly noted that this was the most honest, deep conversation he’d had with Chloé in years…since they were fifteen and her parents officially divorced. It felt bizarre and yet comfortable. Before Marinette and Alya and Nino, there had been Chloé for the longest time, and it felt good to go back to that familiarity.

“…Who’s this girl that messed you up?” Chloé seethed. “What did she do to you?”

“Nothing,” Adrien stressed. “It’s complicated. She’s liked me for as long as I’ve liked her, but we’ve kind of bungled things over the past four years.”

“—Four years?!” Chloé interrupted. “God! Why didn’t you say anything?!”

“You don’t like her, and I wanted to keep my feelings secret so they didn’t mess up the friendship because I thought she was in love with someone else,” Adrien fibbed, reframing the situation from being in love with Ladybug to being in love with Marinette all along.

“I like her less now,” Chloé hissed. “Keep talking.”

“So, I loved her,” Adrien resumed, “and she loved me, but we didn’t know how the other felt, so…we were a mess. We accidentally hurt each other a lot…but then, four months ago, I decided I needed to get over her. She suggested I date other people casually, not realizing that she was the one I loved, so I tried to do what she said…only I messed it up and only managed to fall even deeper in love with her. So…yeah….”

Adrien threw an arm over his eyes again and sighed. “Last week I told her I loved her, and things blew up. She said once I get my mental health under control and stop worshipping her, maybe we can try dating.”

Chloé pursed her lips and thought very, very hard. “…I’m going to arrange for Marinette Dupain-Cheng to be assassinated.”

“Chloé!” Adrien scolded. “I didn’t say it was Marinette. Please don’t hurt her. She didn’t do anything wrong. She’s not obligated to date me, even if we are destined to end up together. This isn’t her fault.”

“So it is Marinette,” Chloé growled. “The little twit. Seducing you and then playing with you like a yoyo for years. She has some nerve.”

“Please don’t say anything,” Adrien begged. “I’m working really hard to fix things with her. Things might still work out fine. I just have to hang in there and work on getting better so that I’m in good enough shape to be with her.”

“I don’t think I want you with that spazzy, obsessive klepto,” Chloé countered. “Adrien, I know you love her, but she is literally insane. Totally one of those stalker fans. She’s been obsessed with you for years.”

“…Really?” Adrien blinked, sitting up.

“Yes,” Chloé insisted. “I know she puts on that Little Miss Perfect act out in public, but, trust me. I’ve known her since we were little. She’s a walking train wreck.”

“So am I,” Adrien whispered. “…I still want to be with her, even if she isn’t perfect.”

Chloé groaned. “She’s not just not perfect, Adrien. She’s crazy.”

“So am I,” Adrien reiterated.

Chloé threw up her hands, collapsing onto her bed in defeat. “Fine…. Fine. You love her. Whatever. Just be prepared to be disappointed, and make sure she signs a prenup. I’ll hold your hand through the divorce, but you better believe that I’m going to be screaming, ‘I told you so’ the whole time.”

Adrien had to chuckle at that as he got up to lean against his window and look out at the city. “You really think she’ll agree to marry me?”

“Oh my God,” Chloé screeched. “You are hopeless! I can’t do anything with you.”

“I’m glad you still want to try,” Adrien replied softly, regret seeping into his voice. “…It hasn’t just been the past few months that I’ve been MIA on you, Chlo. I think I’ve been slowly drifting away from you for the past few years. I made new friends and fell in love with Marinette, and I didn’t put the effort into making time for you anymore. I’m really sorry for that.”

Chloé shifted uncomfortably. “Oh, stop. No mushy stuff. I don’t do mushy.”

“But I really am sorry for neglecting you,” Adrien whispered. “I know we don’t have as much in common as we used to, but I should have kept working at our friendship. I shouldn’t have given it up so easily.”

“Stooop,” Chloé sighed in frustration.

“I miss you.”

Chloé bit her lip.

His tone was so sweet and tender and full of longing for her. Finally. But too late. She’d loved this boy for so long…. Three years prior, his words would have sent her to the moon. Now…they just made her nostalgic with a touch of wistfulness.

“Yeah,” Chloé sighed. “I miss you too, you dope.”

“Are you doing anything tomorrow?” Adrien held his breath.

“I’m free. Why?” She could always cancel with Sabrina.

“I want to take you to lunch and then shopping,” Adrien proposed. “It’s been forever since we went shopping.”

“Oooh!” Chloé squealed. “I could definitely go shopping. Let’s take my car. I’ll pick you up at twelve-thirty?”

“Perfect,” Adrien agreed. “I’m excited to see you.”

“Yeah,” Chloé chuckled. “Yeah…I’m excited to see you too.”

They said their goodbyes and rang off.

The euphoric feeling of making up with Chloé and having plans for the next day only lasted a few minutes, however, and then Adrien was back to thoughts of Marinette.

He chewed on his lip as he looked down at his phone and scrolled through his contacts. He paused, his finger hovering over the number for a minute before pushing the button.

“Hey. Wayem? This is Adrien Agreste. How have you been?” Adrien greeted cheerfully and then pulled the phone away from his ear at the enthusiastic reply.

“Good, good. Thanks. So, I was wondering if you were available to grab dinner together one night this week. My treat. I have doctor’s appointments Tuesday and Thursday, but the rest of the week is wide open.”

Adrien arranged to meet with Wayem for dinner on Wednesday, exchanged a few more of the usual pleasantries, and wrapped up the call.

And then it was back to missing Marinette. She’d looked tired at the photoshoot—still ravishing and radiant…but tired. From what little Elise would say, it seemed like Marinette was having a hard time with the situation between herself and Adrien too.

Adrien wanted to call and comfort her. He wanted to suit up and go to her balcony to tell jokes and throw popcorn at one another and try to cheer her up…but his hands were tied. As the source of her torment, he was powerless to help.

And yet his fingers burned to text her.

He scrolled down to the Ts in his contacts and called Kagami instead.

“Adrien Agreste,” she greeted neutrally, on her guard.

“Hi, Kagami. How are you?” Adrien began tentatively.

“I am well. And you?” she inquired perfunctorily.

“I’m…hanging in there,” he replied sheepishly, unwilling to lie despite the fact that he knew she was only asking because she felt obliged to.

“Did you need something, Adrien?” she asked to move the conversation along. Her tone was polite, but Adrien could guess that that was only for the sake of preserving the relationship between their families.

“I need to apologize to you,” Adrien admitted with a sigh.

“A-Apologize?” He’d thrown her off balance. “Whatever for?”

“For disappointing you. I’m sorry if I hurt you, Kagami. I know that probably doesn’t mean much, especially four months after the fact, but I wanted you to know that I am sorry,” Adrien informed penitently.

Kagami didn’t respond right away. “…Thank you,” she eventually mumbled. “I suppose there is that expression ‘better late than never’.”

“I’m sorry,” Adrien repeated. “I haven’t really been myself these past few months. I decided to try to give up on the girl I’ve been in love with for the past few years and kind of ended up having a quarter-life crisis over it. When I was dating all those girls, I was so desperate to try to get rid of my feelings for the girl I love that I wasn’t thinking about how my actions might affect the people who cared about me…. I’m sorry I didn’t consider your feelings, Kagami.”

“…Honestly? I’ve known about your feelings for Marinette Dupain-Cheng for two or three years now,” Kagami sighed. “I don’t know why I kept hanging onto the hope that you’d change your mind…. I’m the one who chose to keep giving you the power to hurt me…. I’m glad that you are sorry that you hurt me, though.”

“I had kind of hoped that maybe we could be friends going forward,” Adrien proposed but then hastily added, “I completely understand if you don’t want to have anything more to do with me than you have to, though.”

Kagami considered silently for a long while before posing a question. “Answer me this. When you were on your serial dating streak, why did you never ask me to go out with you? Am I not pretty enough? Too severe? Boring? Why not me when pretty much anyone else seemed to do?”

Adrien laughed sharply at the ludicrous idea. “Kagami, I respect you too much to casually date you. You’re very attractive, and you’re witty, and I enjoy spending time with you, but I would never fool around with you like that…especially when I know you have genuine feelings for me. I respect you too much to treat your feelings lightly.”

Kagami pursed her lips and breathed deeply. “…That’s…a very good answer. So…the real problem isn’t that there’s something about me that’s lacking. The problem is that you already love Marinette.”

“Yes,” Adrien confirmed.

Kagami hummed thoughtfully. “Obviously, I’m not happy about that fact…but it is a fact I can live with…. Very well. Let’s be friends.”

“Awesome,” Adrien trilled. “Thank you, Kagami. Hey. Monday after school are you free? I feel like it’s been forever since you kicked my butt up and down the piste. Would you be interested?”

“I would be delighted to put you through your paces,” Kagami snickered. “I’m free after six.”

“Perfect. I’ll pick you up then. …Maybe afterwards I could take you to dinner?”

“Yes to dinner so long as I pay for myself,” Kagami haggled. “I don’t want there to be any confusion about this friendship; you can pay when dinner is a date.”

“Got it,” Adrien chuckled awkwardly. “I’ll see you then.”

“I’ll look forward to it,” Kagami assured.

The call ended with a triple beep.

“Well,” Adrien sighed. “That’s Sunday, Monday, and Wednesday taken care of. Tuesday and Thursday are counseling. That leaves Friday and next weekend for Nino and Alya…and maybe Marinette.”

He shook his head, trying to get that line of thought out.

Maybe he could even do something with Elise or his father and Nathalie after counseling…or take Chat Noir on a date. There were plenty of things to do that were not ‘wallow in self-pity over Marinette’.

“That would make her happy,” he reasoned. “She’d be proud that I’m trying.”

He stared down at his phone, wondering how upset she’d be if he texted her.

With a groan of annoyance and frustration, Adrien marched out of his room in his bare feet and made his way to his father’s atelier.

“Come in,” Gabriel called.

Plagg looked up from where he was comfortably curled atop Gabriel’s shoulder. “Everything all right, Kid?”

Adrien smiled disarmingly as he made his way over to lean against the table, facing his father at the podium. “Yeah. I’m fine. Thanks. What are you two up to? Plotting to take over the world?”

Plagg snickered but did not comment.

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “No, Adrien. We are not plotting world domination…. That was last month. This month we’re attempting to build a time machine. Do try to keep up, Kitten.”

Adrien had to clap a hand over his mouth to hold in the resulting chortle. “I didn’t know you had a sense of humor, Dad. I like the snark.”

“Glad I could amuse you,” Gabriel chuckled. “…Did you need something, Adrien?”

Adrien held up his mobile as if it were the woman caught in the act of adultery, exposing the phone to ridicule, shame, and judgment.

“This,” Adrien intoned. “needs to be taken away from me. I have a problem, and this phone is enabling me. I need you to take it away before I do something stupid like text or call Marinette.”

Gabriel stepped down from his dais and held out his hand for the phone.

Adrien reluctantly relinquished the device with a sigh. “Thanks. Sorry.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a comforting pat on the head. “There’s nothing to be sorry for,” he assured. “I’m proud of you. It’s very mature of you to identify a problem and take steps to resolve it. You’re doing very well, Adrien.”

“Thank you,” Adrien breathed. “Because I feel like a failure. It’s like I can’t even do simple, common sense things right that everyone else knows how to do instinctively.”

“Nah.” Plagg flew down to rub against Adrien’s cheek. “You’re all right, Kid. You’re doing fine.”

“It’s as Plagg says,” Gabriel confirmed. “…What have you been up to since Elise left?”

Adrien shrugged. “Today—I’m assuming Plagg already told you all about today.”

Gabriel nodded.

Adrien sighed. “Marinette apparently needs more space than I had originally anticipated. Today she said that it might be a couple weeks still before she’s ready to hang out again.” 

Adrien shrank in misery as he relived that moment: the pain on Marinette’s face as she had to keep telling him no. The sharp explosion in his chest as she brought the knife of “no” down over and over.

“Marinette said that I should hang out with other friends instead, and, as you and I determined this afternoon, that means Nino and Alya.”

Gabriel nodded, wondering if there was some way, magical or otherwise, to get Marinette to want to be with Adrien sooner. His better judgment, informed by the stack of parenting guidebooks he’d been reading, told him not to meddle.

“But I was thinking about how you said I should get some more friends,” Adrien continued, oblivious to Gabriel’s mental tangent. “So I called some people and made plans with them for the coming week. I hope that was okay,” Adrien added, suddenly questioning himself. “I knew Nathalie had cleared my schedule for this week besides the counseling appointments, so I thought…”

“No, that’s wonderful, Adrien,” Gabriel stressed. “That’s fantastic that you took the initiative to reach out to people. …With whom did you make plans?”

Adrien brightened a little at the praise. “Well, tomorrow I’m having lunch with Chloé, and then I’m taking her shopping. Monday after school I’m fencing with Kagami, and then we’re going to have dinner together. Wednesday, I’m meeting Wayem for dinner—you remember Wayem?”

Gabriel frowned and made an educated guess. “Your rather enthusiastic fanboy?”

Adrien nodded.

“You’ve been very industrious in making plans,” Gabriel observed.

A sheepish smile broke out on Adrien’s face. “Well, I was trying to keep from calling Marinette, so I called other people.”

Plagg settled on top of Adrien’s head. “You must have been pretty desperate.”

“Yeah?” Adrien bashfully admitted. “That’s kind of why I came to enlist aid.” He turned to his father. “I’ll need that back tomorrow morning, by the way. You know, in case Chloé or someone texts me about plans. And Nino said he would touch base with me too.”

“You can have the phone back at breakfast,” Gabriel promised.

“Okay,” Adrien sighed, not knowing if he’d be able to handle having the phone and not contacting Marinette. “Thank you, Dad.”

Gabriel gave Adrien a reassuring pat on the shoulder.

“…And thank you for allowing me to have Elise over today,” Adrien added.

“You’re welcome,” Gabriel replied cordially, pleased that he and his son were finally communicating successfully after so many years of Gabriel feeling at a loss when he spoke with Adrien.

“I had a lot of fun hanging out with her, and she had some really great advice,” Adrien continued. “Unfortunately, she’s an expert at dealing with breakups and self-esteem issues, so…” Adrien bit his lip, hesitating. “…Do you think I could have her over again sometime?”

Gabriel took a moment to consider. “Yes, I don’t see why not. Elise seems like an acceptable friend. I’m glad that things went so well with her today.”

Adrien drew a breath. “Do you think…maybe I could have other friends over sometime?”

“You mean like Monsieur Lahiffe.” Gabriel sighed.

“And others. Once I make more friends.” Adrien smiled uncertainly.

Gabriel frowned. His gut reaction was to say no, but he had a feeling that the parenting guidebooks would encourage him to say yes and allow his eighteen-year-old some autonomy.

Gabriel hated the concept of autonomy.

With another sigh, Gabriel offered a compromise. “We’ll take it on a case-by-case basis. Ask me first, and then I’ll try to say yes.”

“Thank you, Dad!” Adrien cheered as he wrapped Gabriel in a hug.

Gabriel gave a start in surprise at first, but his arms quickly returned the embrace. They were slowly but surely growing accustomed to the action.

“You’re welcome…. I’m trying,” he added in a small, humbled voice.

“Thank you for trying,” Adrien whispered into Gabriel’s shoulder.

“Thank you for giving me another chance.”

[leclerced]

ONTO THE OTHER STORY. this one’s a lil fucked up but I feel like girlhood is having sleepovers that start off fun then venture into trauma JDJDJDJS

I’ve only told a handful of people about this story. I had a friend group at uni. I was particularly really close w this one girl, I’ll name her Kendall. We were newly basically best friends. We did everything together and lived with dorms on the same hall.

We had one of those like flirty/jokey friendships that genuinely doesn’t mean anything. Like yk when some girls post a pic and their friends comment “fuck me” or “when are we getting married?” type thing. it was like that.

It was whatever until they quickly became v explicit and I couldn’t tell whether she was just kidding anymore, bc I knew she was into girls and her type looked like me, but I wasn’t into her and not into girls (not at that time anyway💀)

I was a virgin at this time and super bad at saying no to people. I hated rejecting people and that kind of thing. So I asked my close friend, who had first-hand seen me struggle to reject people in the past, help on how to reject her bc at this point I was CERTAIN she wasn’t joking anymore and I really wasn’t into her.

This friend, who had never met kendall, told her that I accused her of SEXUALLY HARASSING ME?????? Because I didn’t want her to keep flirting w me bjt didnt know how to say no. I found out about this and was specifically like what the FUCK, I have never said that, will never say that, have never felt that way etc. I just wanted to REJECT THE DAMN GIRL DJDJD (turns out she did actually like me and I was right but that’s not the point😭) LMFAOOOO. I can laugh at it now and you can too, bjt it was so traumatising at the time.

It became a whole thing. It spread all throughout college. I was known as the girl who LIED about sexual harassment. My entire friend group dropped me, everyone in college stopped speaking to me, I lost all of my friends for something I didn’t do. Every time I made a new friend, they’d run up to her as I left and said “don’t befriend her, she lied about SA, irs so fucked up” etc

I had to leave college for a while bc it fr fucked me up because I genuinely didn’t do anything. God forbid anything did happen whilst I was at college, nobody would have believed me because I had a reputation of lying ab that when I literally said I never said or felt like kendall did that lol

LMAOOOO. Yeah. That was wild. Deffo my Roman Empire - the first time I realised that the world is COLD. But I’ve healed and stuff so u can laugh at it djdjdjdjdj

oh my god that’s genuinely awful i’m so so sorry ): i’m glad things are better now and it’s in the past! i’ve had those friendships before and it’s weird to navigate. i honestly didnt have a lot of irl friends drama after i moved from my small town, but after that i used to be on stan twitter and i went thru sm friendships and friend groups/groupchats on there. there was so much drama and if any of u know about 5sos stan twit u may have heard of some of the drama i was in if u were there years ago ..

[ulookgoodtoday]

This is gonna be a long rant

No need to say this but I am a CS, I strongly believe they were in love and actually believe they still are. If you don’t see it I’m sorry for you bc it means you’ve never been in love and seen someone staring at you like they do. 
Plus our captain Dinah (and her aunt) made it pretty clear. If you’re in doubt it could also be bc of the narrative stupid managers tried to pull, but honestly anyone can see through it. I suggest you read Emisons Camren theory and post about synchronization (which I found out after I made my mind clear ab Camren) which makes perfectly sense and was confirmed to be true at 98% by ExposingLaucy.

Let me say that of course this is just my opinion and I ALWAYS take into consideration that it could be not real. I respect L and C personal life and never dare to intrude or comment their post on social networks. I want them to be happy and if they are now (I believe they are) I am happy. They can be whom whoever THEY want.

Said so, here’s my delusional Camren theory. It’s not about proving Camren is real but an analysis of their relationship (I tried to be accurate, considering songs, interviews, trustworthy sources, timing).

I believe they had feelings for each other since the beginning (2012-3), especially C, but they genuinely thought they were just friends or that it was nothing serious (ExposingLaucy said C was the one to fell in love - “Mine is Lauren” “Who are u kissing under the mistletoe?” Her obsession with “Normani”- and L slowly fell in love w her). That’s why L gave birth to Camren “it’s Camren yo” (16 oct 2012) and why they were so explicit in the interviews, on camera, tumbrl, twitter, bc they thought it was a joke and were really close. Then ppl started to see what basically they couldn’t see or admit to themselves yet (love in their eyes), ppl started shipping them and assuming they were together but again they brushed it away and even invited us to float that f boat (Nov 2013). I believe if they ever kissed before 2014 it was as a joke, at least for L (“What happened in the elevator?” Feb 2013 DinahJane on twitter. #camrenfeels 28th June 2013 and the photo of them cuddling, L saying “Thanks babe” Feb 2014 and being totally chill with it) and above all they never talked about it.

I know C said back then that her first kiss was at 17 (and everyone assumed it was with Austin but could have been with L - April 2014) and then in a recent interview ab her album she said she was 16 when she had her first kiss so it could be 1) they kissed before 2) they kissed before but as a joke and then, after realizing how they felt for each other, she reconsider that kiss 3) she messed up with her memory, she gets confused by all the bs they made her say during these years. In the same interview she said she had her first breakup at 17, which could be her telling bs and alluding at her breakup with Austin (even tho in other interviews she dismissed that relationship) or what I’ll explain later about her relationship with L.

I think C was the first to realize she had feelings for L and that’s when she wrote “Only told the moon” (where she’s scared ab her emotions and afraid the other person won’t feel the same way) even though she wrote a tweet “only told the moon” in Jun 2015. What we know through EL is that they were both each other’s first kiss and everything. [plus I’m still not over Sep 2013 when C cries singing Who are you and L glances at her every other second].

We assumed Camren real first kiss was in April 2014 (1975 concert) and it is rumored that L broke up w Brad in Dec 2014 after 8 moths. Now, I don’t believe they had an actual relationship but more a fling and not that long (L was supposed to be w Luis Felipe right? They broke up Aug 2014. And in July we have the suspicious Camren’s moans in the bunk). ANYWAY the import part is that Brad wrote I found a girl that goes "she said that she tried but she's not into guys". So now what I think is that that's basically L freaking out about the kiss she had with C because she realized she had feelings for her (so more than friendship), trying to convince herself she's not into girls, rushing into Luis and then B to prove herself wrong, then again going back to C still confused until she figures it out later. Especially when you are bisexual the process can be hard because you try to understand where you stand, if you like boys OR girls, so it’s confusing when you have feelings for both and u try to deny one or the other until you realize bisexual is A THING. The Vamps made it clear that the song is for L and then took a photo with a “Camren is real” sign in the back (well done Brad, you’re an asshole). In the song he also said that this girl started to talk to him about the other girl she was involved with, so he knew who L was in love with.

In 2014 C is in a PR relationship with Austin Moron and I think C wrote The Exchange song (unreleased as well) about that period. I came up with the timing according to a period when they were both dating others; after Chocolate by 1975 was out - we’re dressed in black, head to toe, it’s from that song while C wrote “we’ll be dressed in, all black from head to toe” and twitted it in apr 2015; also C’s tweets with the lyrics of the song - “there’s nothing like me and you and you know it” Apr 2014 -  and L indirects. I think it’s ab Lauren also bc she wrote “there’s beats I’ve been skipping when my head is on your chest” and I‘ve never seen C doing that with a boy. Plus the part where she says the other person knows there’s nothing like the two of them and “you’ve been trying to say it ain’t true” so again L rushing into L/B.

Also you can tell that their relationship was never defined properly by the fact that C many times during interviews referred to a relationship she had and described it as “sort of friendship “ or “romantic relationship or whatever that was”( also look for unreleased song of C, she said she wrote it when she was 17, “Like friends do” = I’ll sit straight it the couch like friends so. And I’ll stop kissing your mouth like friends do. Cause I can’t look at you quite like friens do. You don’t say my name quite like friends do).

I think after Brad and A, they were together, during 2015 (that’s when C appeared with the ring - EL said L gave it to C in Feb 2015 - and when they try to hide and look distant in front of the camera, yet close behind cameras) but still in a confused way during all that year, with ups and downs. I’d say C was pretty cool with her sexuality while L had more difficulties; and that explains to me why C cries singing Who are you basically every time (remember the girls co-worked in writing this one, if you look up on google you can see how Camila and Lauren’s names are the first ones written). Also that’s when she could have come up with IHQ bc she said she started writing it two years before it was released (May 2017). “My name was safest in your mouth”, “your voice, it was the most familiar sound” “i was there when no one was” and in the end - this part could have been written back then or in 2017 but either way express a miscommunication- “How do I fix it? Can we talk? Can we communicate” and “Do I wanna fix it? Is it my fault? Do u miss me?”.

I think that Lauren was the one that struggled the most (from the beginning 2013), she also said in an interview (2017) that when she was little was very confused and that people calling her bisexual/gay made her angry because she couldn’t understand how they figured it out and what was about her that made them think that. It’s also tricky was she said just after that. The interviewer asked her “Did your parents know before you came out?” ab your sexuality and she said “yes, they knew before, I was dating a girl AT THE TIME so they had to know”. So ok, who was she dating tho? Lucy? Yeah right.

I think that they had a shit load of pressure from managers to not be together and at least behave in front of the camera. I remember L (think it was Sept 2015) in an interview she said “when life hits love sometimes you just die”, i mean that’s daaark, girl! Anyways, that must have led to a lot of fights between the two of them especially because you can see how in a lot of interviews C kept staring L or doing things that were pointing obviously to Camren while L was trying harder to hide it. I think C might have felt rejected and they didn’t talk about all of this (and you can tell again by their songs that they had relationship where they didn’t comunicate - expectation, something’s gotta give, in the dark, IHQ.. someone put also In your phone but L didn’t write that one).

I think that’s when C wrote Must be love, this songs screams Camren like maybe no other and describes this period. In fact she says she fell hard, that she gets mad and puts on a show, there are highs and lows, everything gets real after two am (secret relationship), that she’s gonna look at her right back and “I promise you won’t like that” (L pissed every time C is explicit) and they fuss and fight but yet she wouldn’t have it any other way.

Also it’s a link to Consequences, which is in the album (in Must be love she goes “I guess everything has consequence”) and this song has no straight-relationship explanation. Through Consequences C describes her relationship w L and what had caused. I believe she is telling us all that she loved L so much she didn’t care about the consequences that came with it, which is f managers treating them like shit, make them hide it and led to them fight as well. It is not coincidence that she wrote this in Jan 2017 after she was out the group. It is not a coincidence that in concert before playing Consequences she always sings Falling in love (“Wise men say only fools rush in” is also the beginning of Must be love). And there are links to “She loves control” in my opinion which I think describes L and maybe the role she played in all this Camren shit. (Ok C has stated that she has OCD but she doesn’t go to club and when she’s in love she fell hard so u know, so much for the control). In Must be love says “you control me more than you’ve ever known” and in Sangria Wine “yo so que tu quieres controlar mi mente” that made me think the person she’s talking ab in She loves control might not be herself but another person. Many were shook about L singing “she doesn’t let me have control anymore” in Strangers which is a HELL of a coincidence but I think Halsey wrote it so I’m not sure whether we should consider it or not.

During 2015 to 2016 we saw a lot of things that suggested the ups and down. Remember that 2015 C had major anxiety problems and a lot of trash was thrown from the fandom (especially after IKWYDLS). C saying she rather date someone out of the industry but “you can’t decide who you fall in love with, UNFORTUNATELY”. Or when they fought in another interview when C was being too obvious bc she said she would marry her celebrity crush (or any crush) even if their parents did not approve, tho she didn’t say who her crush was but “it’s important” and “i’d be in love with my celebrity crush” (she always said it was Lauren). Or when they tried to make each other jealous.

Then 2016 is tricky. They started the 7/27 tour and again we see ups and downs but mostly L more at ease with her feelings for C. I think C was still struggling with her anxiety problems and all the narrative the managers were forcing the 5 of them to follow (they were prep C’s departure). I remember how L broke down 8 Sep 2016 singing No way, she always said that it was her fav song and described it as a dialogue happening in a couple; a toxic situation, two people who wants to be together but know shouldn’t be together and also ppl from the outside telling them they shouldn’t be together (she was so into this song that during a soundcheck she said she actually could imagine a visual and music video for it). She also cried during Scared to be happy and then tweeted after the concert the she got emotional because of the LYRICS. This was in Phoenix after the show in Texas where we saw Lucy. So that made me think she was struggling back then (remember that 4 days before, C left the stage in Missouri for anxiety), trying to figure out what to do between what she felt and also the pressure for the outside (maybe C, sure as hell managers and the PR ready to come).

I think that L in 2016 realized that she wanted to commit, as I said she seemed more at ease with her sexuality. She was happy during photos with CS, she danced with the pride flag, we have the blurry kiss in London (May 2016) in front of Lucy (!!), L even interacted with C during sound-checks and sang Dope to C (who was pretty surprised), she protected her from those balloons, C and L staying one more day in Barcelona, we had the VMAs (August 2016), she called her baby and so on. She seemed very protective. I believe that’s bc they were prepping the Laucy thing and her coming out. EL said they began the process leading to Laucy in June 2016 (remember the two of them in Colombia for L’s birthday, the videos of L dancing BBW to Lucy and so on - Emisonme explained perfectly).

I think that is why she came out in the end, after all this struggles, bc she felt ready, I don’t think she was forced to. Let’s be honest, if she didn’t want to she could have said it wasn’t her in the Laucy photo or she’s not so dumb, you’re at a family wedding and you get caught kissing a girl and the photo got leaked?! I say BS. And then she decided to make a photo book with Lucy as a coming out statement?! If she wasn’t ready to do it, none of this would have happened. I think she did it for two reasons: 1) Trump was pissing her off 2) to tell C that she was ready; they let her do it bc it was convenient for her image and 5h.  At the beginning of Havana - the music video - there’s an awkward scene, completely out of context. A guy comes out of a closet and says “I was in the closet” and C “so now, you’re out of the closet?” And he goes, a bit confused, “yes, for YOU”. Like wtf? C, was it necessary?! And don’t let me start with that video. C is watching the tv and you can here a woman saying in spanish “I want to be with Carmen but I can’t “, you can see a figure very similar to L and in the end C said “I love you, but I love myself more” which again made me think she’s the one that walked away in the end. Camila is giving us so many signs if u don’t see this you’re really dumb.

L obviously couldn’t come out without saying there was another girl, otherwise Camren was automatically confirmed in our mind. And who better than your best friend to help you do so and make it believable? Honestly it was a smart move and all the hate, slut shaming and shit Lucy received, she didn’t deserved it. I believe it was PR and that C was aware of this and supported it but it could have also been difficult for her. Even though she knew it wasn’t real, she might have been scared L might get involved for real, especially if you consider the fact that Camren could never be proud and loud, idk. Emisonme on tumbrl explained the Laucy shit so perfectly that I suggest u read it, I agree with everything she said. Again Emisonme explain PERFECTLY why L could come out as bi while C can’t (and she’s so gay she’s shitting rainbows).

I think shit went down tho, and they fell apart. I don’t know if it was bc of management’s pressure or miscommunication or whatever but apparently C walked away (as she said in many interviews that the situation was toxic - not the relationship - in something’s gotta give and Havana music video and in concert before singing Scar Tissue). I think that their break-up happened during that period of L coming out and C leaving/kicked out fifth harmony but that is so messed up I’m not elaborating [Theory: C leaving 5h was always supposed to happen]. Just remember how Dinah’s aunt said that Lauren would be devastated by the fact C left (”I’m pretty sure Lauren is heartbroken and shook, she is probably crying her brain away. But she already knew. If anything Lauren is leaving too. You gotta have your girl’s back. Of course I’m sure they are going to do a duet like on their own, you know, in the bedroom.”)

That’s when L was reaaally pissed at Camren fans (the tweet in Feb 2017), went a bit sassy in interviews avoiding to talk about C, and after “leaving Lucy” she “started dating Ty” (I call PR huge af). The reasons why she was pissed ab CS could be many, for starters I believe they broke up (so that’s one), n2 she came out and faked a relationship with another girl to protect C’s straight image and yet everyone kept believing in Camren, n3 her managers made her pull her straight image as well starting dating Ty to shut us up BUT I believe the real reason is n4 managers wanted to kill Camren (to launch C’s straight image) and destroy her image (as they did with the marijuana shit they pulled) bc even though i think the first three reasons are true and that’s what was going on in L’s mind I don’t think she would attack her fans and C like that. Anyways L tweeted “eyes on the moon” the day the Grammys (Feb 2017) were held and we know who the moon is.

I think C’s the one who walked away also bc of “Make u mad”, which was written mostly by L and she’s pissed y’all. There are also links btw this song and C’s songs. L also sang Back to me, she collaborated in writing the text but I don’t know to what extent but still a HELL of a coincidence.

I think they first met after all this shit at the Grammy’s after party in Feb 2017 but didn’t interact. Camila was there and she said that “In the dark” is about a boy she met there; then we have L who tweeted just the day after the Grammy’s after party ab waking up with hang over and understanding what’s fake and real. Funfact: read the lyrics of In the dark. “Vampires at the same places” we know Lauren is Lamp. L is running and “making rounds with your fake friends” and again “i can see u’re scared of your emotions, i can see you’re hoping you’re not hopeless” “who are u when it’s 3am and u are all alone” “secrets, endless”. Basically she’s asking this person to show her her real self.

Ppl said they met in March/April 2017 (i think) in studio (Diplo’s?) and I think that’s when C came up with All these years (L had longer hair - she had it cut in 2016; she had gained a bit of weight - that’s for arms stronger; her eyes, I mean WE BEEN KNEW; C was not prepared so she didn’t know L was going to be there; it was a quick hello bc they were not fine back then; “sounds like you’re happy with her” could be L’s PR; “wish I loved u like I miss u” implies that she had a relationship with that person but maybe not loved her in the right way or enough to make it last - she confirmed in an interview that this song is about an ex; who does C knows from YEARS? If I hear another SM shipper I’ll throw up)

Anyways I think that towards the mid of 2017 they kinda reconnected and now they’re in good terms. Remember how C said multiple times how even though it was a toxic situation she’d do it all over again. So that makes me think that they loved each other and the problem was mostly all the environment they were into (if the relationship was trash why on earth would she do it again?!) and C is trying to say to L: baby come back to me.

Since this is not a post w the intent of explaining why Camren is real I won’t elaborate.

In conclusion I think they are still in love (C sang it in every possible way) and probably a couple or working on to be one and the problems in their relationship were due to miscommunication and pressure from the outside.

—> Again Emisonme made super clear why they couldn’t be together in the Music business. 

Stay strong in this PR shit and let them be. Even if they don’t tell us, doesn’t mean it isn’t true. 

Just remember EL said 2018 would be the year of the commitment, 20gayteen everybody.

“I am a lover and a fighter. I will fight for what I love” Go get your girl Lauren

[kae-karo]

lmao so i thought someone asked for an analysis of the gwf vid like i could’ve sworn i had that ask so y’all just have to deal with me posting it anyway here ya go lads golf gone sexual™: the final edition

the fucking. the pirate outfits. the. i’m. i don’t. i can’t. (x) ‘left over from somewhere’

fucking phil ‘u lost ur stick last time i think’ yeah phil sure yeah sure okay buddy

‘choke me daddy festive edition’ @ dan pls stop

what cuties i love them just not actually knowing what they’re doing and messing it up and these awkward long pauses before they burst into a fit of giggles i love them

why did they even bring up the ‘winter update’ like it had no relevance??

crinkly boye

don’t worry i can host dan what are u even on about

phil out here coming up with a great vid name (yo ho ho) and they went with battle for the booty smh that says everything u ever need to know abt dnp

wow even in this year of 2018 we got yet another ur mum joke (and phil’s right we do love kath)

@ dan pls stop ur bf from making weird hand gestures okay that’s,,,,,it’s unnecessary

hi they cute

‘u absolute twit nipple’ how on earth does that still sound so fond what the fuck

and another ur mum joke wow i just,,,,wow

the way dan says ‘oh my god that was good’ like. he never sounds like that??? it’s a good sound he should sound like it more often idk it’s like soft and genuine in a sort of ‘wow i did okay??’ kinda cute surprised way??

‘stop talking about how close this is’ dan,,,,,,really u thought that was bad??? really??? really?????

phil’s deep-voiced yarr and dan’s literal only reaction being that he should’ve made a pun out of it leads me to believe philip does that deep voice often enough that dan is entirely unfazed and idk how i feel abt that

‘just bounced off the rim that’s how i like to play it, don’t go in, just bounce off it’ that cheeky fuckin smile daniel please can u not

lmao the pirate outfit is unlucky hm

hi i love dan’s lil trying-not-to-smile-but-just-about-to-smile smile when he’s staring at phil it makes me happy

how did they spend ten minutes (okay ten full seconds) trying to figure out the name of the wheel

dan: makes f/phat booty pun, phil: ‘they’re just filled with ass they’re not even coins’

same dan

important content

ik everyone’s said it by now but dan’s choice of adjective was great and i’m here for it (’gaily jumping off the ship’)

dan’s lil smile when phil’s ‘gaily adjusting his stance’

dimply boye

how does phil just blatantly ignore ‘phil’s edging us guys’ like idk i mean i hyperfocus too but like damn they really must just talk about that kind of stuff on a regular basis bc u don’t just tune that out y’know

phil’s distracted ‘that is so much ass’

‘yarrs’ carries the same energy as when dan made the ‘ain’t no gravy up in this kitch’ joke in the bunny biscuits vid and stared at phil and waited for his joke to be acknowledged

my kink is dan looking hilariously fond abt phil making bad sex-related comments (’it’s a strap-on’)

hey phil u know if u swear in another language it’s still swearing right?

did dan just absolutely commit to the harder flag?? without saying anything abt it? even though he lost?

phil just. out here. purposely almost-swearing. we stan

ik i saw this joke elsewhere but phil ur literally staring at a posh pirate mmkay b

i just wanna know what was going through dan’s head with ‘oingo boingo i’m a dick’ bc like. u okay there b??

ye dan we know ur geometry skills are quite lacking but glad the whole reference thing just keeps on coming up

‘they’re gonna do an exam about me and everyone’s gonna get an A star’ i mean that’s living in the phandom isn’t it? We all aspire to be phil trash, even though only One can hold the ultimate title

okay like take five seconds and take a step back they’re literally just playing golf i love how stupidly competitive they get it’s adorable

‘oh dear’ makin a comeback

plankspank.com why are they like this (at least phil didn’t buy the domain this time)

danny u have picked up ur husband’s habit of making a cawing noise whenever u get a birdie

why does he do this

physically in pain

fucking hell dan why do u have to make this so goddamn sexual i didn’t ask for this i didn’t want u talkin bout how it was a slow one and u put it in and jfc look i read phanfiction for a reason i don’t actually wanna know what ur sex life is like okay

britney spears references wow is it 2010 again or is that just all the foreplay golf,,,,,play,,,,,

dan,,,,,,,,

re: the tentacle: ‘that is gonna be right,,,,somewhere’ dan we got it u did not have to add ‘right in the poop deck’ and ur fucking noise okay we did Not need that

i lied earlier my kink is dan saying he cannot believe smth

this is just becoming a masterpost of all the weird faces dan makes

‘it’s part of the loser station for idiots who get everything wrong’ ???? dan help i can’t tell are u a seven y.o child who makes up mean insults when u lose or a twenty-seven year old adult who makes sex jokes n innuendos bc this vid is giving me mixed vibes

🎶🎶there she goes, there she goes again🎶🎶

awwwww matching nerds

dan n his fuckin squeaky i’m-making-fun-of-u voice

‘some people are just skilled booty raiders’ #dantops2k18

Important Dan Fact™ if u can see his lil corner of his mouth u can bet u could see his dimple on the other side and i’m suing bc we can’t see it

why did it take them like 3 tries to figure out they had to time it with the cannons i mean it’s like they’ve never played a vid game in their lives

bite it danny boy u know u want to u also know if it were the other way round phil would’ve bitten at dan’s finger

more dan face

phil absolutely going off topic with ‘sometimes i want to explore with fashion’ and dan’s immediate ‘oh do u now phil lmao’

‘so many textures out there’ he cute

i mean dan cute too but phil cute for sayin it

we stan boyfriends with literally the same brain whining abt lazy rivers and rude kids

hi sorry i just love watching phil when dan’s talking bc he pays so much attention like he used to not do that (back in the day) but like he just really turns and focuses on dan now and it makes me happy

i know we all adore dan’s ‘shut up’ but it always gives me life hearing phil tell dan to shut up

fond daniel

also phil’s super cute soft natural voice when he’s talking about how he keeps saying ‘watch this’

has phil ever gotten this frustrated with gwf lmao

‘bollocks’ as if that’s a thing they say

just kiss him phil goddamn i mean u wanna win right what better way to throw him off his game

why did maximum yeet have to become a thing i s2g

‘why am i helping’ bc u have absolutely no willpower and u want phil to be happy bc it makes u happy that’s why

why,,,,,,,why does everything satisfying have to be sexual phil, why. just. why. and then? golf gone sexual? as if that’s not a better title for the goddamn vid than ‘battle for the booty’ at least it’s accurate??? ‘battle for the booty’ i expect them dueling irl over who gets to top next or some shit that is why u call a vid ‘battle for the booty’

dan,,,,,,pls let ur bf make the weird noises okay

hi sorry what the Fuck is this

is that meant to be a monkey or some shit like what???????

that is a skeleton pirate thing what the hell

why does he have such a long face

idk they cute when they look at each other like they're like having a serious convo even tho they aren’t (although i wouldn’t be shocked if making puns is an important point of communication between them)

also fun fact i heard phil saying ‘jewel’ for the first like five times instead of duel

phil, realizing he’s said something he shouldn’t have

a cute

hi once again i love them

phil doing his face covering thing why does he always look at least 3x cuter when he’s doing it whilst staring at dan

‘i got the octopus, he’s gonna marry me, we’re gonna have tentacle hooked babies with parrots on the crib’

same dan same

and then he turns around n says ‘spank me with a plank and call me poopy susan’ wtf is wrong with them

‘u love a good tentacle don’t u’ show me where i asked

dan, actually considering how that would feel with all the tentacles:

how did they go from phil saying ‘you love a good tentacle’ to saying ‘(you/we) should get some of those’ to dan saying ‘no, you shouldn’t’ like uhm. wot

this

[moanbyul-yi]

hey yall i have a lot of thoughts abt twit and i usually do these ‘hot takes’ so i thought why not post it here this time in case some of yall wanna waste ur time reading my rants lmao,, so if u do u can read below

my hot take on twit - hwasa:  im gonna start off by saying,, from the moment i heard the teaser i was already in love and im so proud of hwasa for taking this step and im so glad that its really working out for her and its charting well and i hope she enjoys promoting this sm,, so without further adieu,, heres my hot take  1. the aesthetics of the video are so good????? like the pOwer in the scenes where she has the crown on like yEs queen ahn hyejin is thRIVIng,, i read this post about the symbolism in the mv and honestly i would expect nothing less from hwasa. making a video all about women supporting and leaning on each other??? my fuckin iCON,, i also really love that she included the outfits like the wrapped in plastic ones esp after the whole ‘scandal’ where people said her outfits were too revealing bc fuck them and im glad shes continuing to be whoever she wants. ill be honest some outfits i dont really like but like ykno its hwasa u could dress her in a garbage bag and she’d still look flawless and she does look that good in the mv,, her stylists deserve all the fuckin awards 2. the song itself is such a bOP???/ i heard the teaser and immediately knew i would love it but i didnt know thIS much??? i highkey love the pause after the bridge im not sure if thats in the live/studio ver or not but i think it gives a good sort of build up,, i eSP love that she included a little bit of wheeins backing vocals (or so it sounds like to me). wheeins voice just fits so nicely into the song and i love how even tho its a solo debut they’re still tgt supporting each other in true wheesa fashion,, i also wanna talk about how i love the lyrics bc wow hwasa really said fuck toxic relationships and i love that she made a song thats kinda different and is about not being 100% reliant on ur partner and being in ur love bubble,,, also pt 2 i love the fact that its not like a ballad or anything but it still shows off her power vocals and just showcases her talents and works for her so well 3. wheeins cameo. i felt like this deserved its own point bc i honestly love it so much,,, i mean we all know that wheesa are goals af whether its friendship or rs whatever it is the love and care they have for each other is goals,, and i love sm that in both of their own solo songs they had cameos bc it just shows how even tho theyre branching out and doing their own thing they still are supporting each other and they still wANt to do those things together and its the cUtest thing i love them sm  4. usually i do a point about the dance also but in this case we’ve only had a few glimpses so i cant comment a lot but from what ive seen it seems simple and very hwasa style and i like it overall,,, im so fuckin proud of hwasa for this whole ass bop and all the work shes put into the mv and everything and i hope she gets all the love and support while she promotes bc she really deserves it bc from the aesthetics to the song i love everything about this solo so anyways i love her and i love this song and thank you for coming to my ted talk