#i prob spent 2 hrs on that thing

[celestie0]

Are we gonna have smut in ihm soon?🤭

man it’s really fuckin disappointing and sad to spend 10 hrs out of my week to try to create a meaningful story, one that resonates a lot with me and the things i’ve been through in my life, one that i hope my readers can resonate with and see themselves in, just to get asks like this.

like, picture this. you get super excited to write this story of yours, you plan aaaaaall these secondary plot lines, introduce new characters, create different character dynamics, try to include scenes that strengthen relationships with already existing character dynamics. plan out an ENTIRE story on paper (my ideas doc ALONE for ihm has 13k+ words) and try to leave subtle clues here and there in your chapters to support a build up of tensions that’ll lead to a payoff later on in the series. oh, and this is just the planning part. did you know that it takes the average person 1-2 hrs to write 1k words? the last ihm chapter was 14.1k words. go ahead and do the math, and try to figure out how long it must’ve taken me to write it. without even counting the time spent i spent editing it.

i know that this fandom is so horny brainrot fucked up to the nines, i’ve sincerely never seen a fandom that needs to touch grass more than the jjk fandom. and admittedly, i am also super excited to write more smut in my stories! sex is fuckin cool n sexy! but let me just get one thing straight to you horny anons that send me asks like this: my stories are STORIES first and foremost. they are not VESSELS for your FANTASIES. they are not PORN with PLOT. they are my stories, that i write drawing from my real life experiences. and, hey, news flash, they mean a fuckin lot to me! i’m assuming you didn’t do the math on the 14.1k word chapter thing, but i’ll tell you right now: it took me maybe 20 hours to write ch3 of ihm. something that probs took you 1 hour to read, and then ten seconds to send me this ask. surely your tonedeaf brain can at least understand that i wouldn’t spend that much fuckin’ time writing something if it was just supposed to be porn with plot.

listen, i know that i’m not the best writer. i understand that, after reading all of this, you might be thinking “shut the fuck up bitch, your writing aint alla that for me to respect you. we only care about the smut, don’t you understand?” that’s valid. i’ll respect that. i never claimed to be a great author, or deserving of anything meaningful from you in return. ultimately, it’s my choice to spend the time that i do writing, no one’s forcing me, and i would never expect people to support me either (although i am always infinitely grateful for it and tbh the support is what keeps me writing). but what i don’t deserve is to be sent careless asks that make me feel like you see no purpose in my stories other than sex. other than smut. other than a penis going inside a fucking vagina.

anon, you know what would make me excited to continue writing my story? excited to get to the parts where characters ARE intimate with one another? is if you maybe threw in something as simple as a fuckin “hey i loved that part in ihm ch3 where [x]. thought it was a cool thing to do. btw, looking forward to the smut!” would’ve taken you a solid 30 seconds. it just took me 30 seconds to type that. or? you know what else you can do? go sit the fuck down, shut the fuck up, and spend 20+ hrs writing a 14k+ oneshot on the smut that you so badly wanna see. it’s your choice. really! i mean it. go be the change you wanna see in this world.

i have never once felt like i deserved any of the support that i’ve gotten. idk how to write pretty prose. or moving stories. i read some other people’s work on this app and i’m genuinely gobsmacked by how talented they are and constantly think how shitty my writing is in comparison. but my thing is that i am at least trying my best to write stories that people feel worthy of reading, because i feel like that’s the kind of respect that an audience deserves. i am trying my best to put my character and integrity into things that i write, even if what i produce ends up falling flat or doesn’t come across. but this ask isn’t an isolated issue. this issue has come up multiple times in the time i’ve had my blog, where people just reduce my stories down to smut smut smut smut smut when are we gonna get smut when are they gonna fuck write more smut in kickoff you should make ihm couple fuck like rabbits in the next chapter oh we better see them do [redacted redacted redacted] or else imma [redacted redacted redacted]. my fics are literally TAGGED with "slow burn romance"...i am fully transparent about it. and while i’ve also gotten so many meaningful heartfelt reactions to my stories (which, btw, were tastefully horny…yes, there is a way to send an author an ask that is tastefully horny while also appreciating their work!! insane wild concept!! /sarcasm), unfortunately these bad interactions will always stick.

like. would you ask someone you knew irl that was writing a novel, when they're gonna write the smut for it? would you tell them to hurry tf up and finish their novel just so that you can read the smut? would you send them your smut fantasies and be like "include this in your novel for ME because I want it "? no. because they'd think you're creepy n weird asf n overbearing then drop you. so why is it okay to do that to an author on tumblr? what happened to manners? what happened to decorum? especially for creators who are making you content for FREE.

if i was an author that wrote purely smut oneshots, i’d maybe kinda sorta understand (still think it's wrong asf, regardless of the content of stories that you write). but i feel like, after the 200k+ words that i’ve poured into my two stories (including the chapters i’ve written that i haven’t yet released) where it’s CLEARLY evident that these stories are much more than smut, i’d think that i deserve treatment a little bit better than this.

i’m done. i’m done trying to be nice. i’m done just silently deleting rude asf asks because i don’t wanna cause a scene. i’m done worrying about hurting people’s feelings, when I’M the one that is getting my feelings hurt while you just get to hide behind an anon.

i. am. just. fucking. done.

[strugglingwithfood]

My husband makes me so mad sometimes. Hes off today and i told him he needed to get his to do list done before watching tv because its been piling up for 2 weeks and it needed to get done. (I work from home).

This morning hes throwing a fit and acting like an ass because of it. He literally finished everything within 2 hrs and then bit my head off because i told him the recipe he sent me from his mom (which we are making for dinner) was missing some of the instructions and i needed it to finish our grocery list. So i said fine you can deal with it and just left everything off the list i was making for him. Then he came in before leaving to go to the store and asked me what i was looking at....like hes my fucking manager or something. So i just said "im working".

Im too busy to explain my job to you when it doesnt matter and he acts like i do nothing even though i spent this morning multi tasking work and writing checks for our bills and making him the damn grocery list. He acts like a big baby when i expect him to help and be a partner in this marriage and acts like im not doing anything when i do over half our home chores and i make more money than him at work! Im also pregnant so my body is working overtime and im dealing with a migraine this morning on top of it all. And he throws a fit about 2 hrs of work that he had 2 weeks to get done. Its really 3 hrs but one of the things he keeps pushing off because of the weather and its been a month. It prob wont get done until Saturday. Hes off tomorrow too so with everything done he will literally have nothing to do but relax all day.

MEN!

[thelifeoflorna]

~13/12/2022~ I felt like I could have done with an extra hour in bed this morning - so did Bella it seems as she attempted to persuade me back to our nest once I got up and started work. Had a virtual appointment in the morning - time seemed to get swallowed up after despite working quite intensely. Had a weird combo for lunch of Nutella on toasted naan bread, which was actually quite nice. Got a reminder to pay my therapy, which I paid straightaway - it’s a bit annoying as I can’t set up a standing order for it from my ISA so have to remember to make the transfer each week - another reason why it’d be good if the NHS could fund my therapy going forwards. After lunch I took my laptop out with me and walked across town to Starbucks to do some work there - the snow is now semi melted but double frozen over so made for fairly unpleasant walking and not so pretty to look at either :/ Got a fair amount of work done, but as usual everything takes longer - I think the increase in ivabradine is making my vision a bit blurry and head a bit fuzzy - really need to be measuring my bp and hr regularly but discovered today that my bp monitor is broken rather than low on battery, which isn’t ideal timing, but ordered another one - turns out you’re supposed to replace them every 2-3 years - mine’s prob closer to 4 years old so definitely time! A weird thing that happened in Starbucks was a woman sat down right between mine and a couple’s table next to me, and she smelt weird - luckily a table the other side of me became free so scooted along to that. Got the bus home which wasn’t too delayed so not too much waiting in the cold. Since I’ve got home it’s just been a case of covering the basics - no energy for anything else. Planning my journey to a f2f appointment tomorrow turned out to be more complicated as there’s a rail strikes - it’ll be doable but will mean a lot of time spent on the buses tomorrow! 🦄 (at Sheffield Park National Trust) https://www.instagram.com/p/CmH-kj9IVON5J33beRujmKUnCrStzhy31B3F000/?igshid=NGJjMDIxMWI=

[kiel-adair]

Vivi in a carmen sandiego outfit cause why not ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[mediawhorefics]

saw your most recent tweet and just wanted to say that i hope you’re doing alright ☹️❤️

just a little stressed/anxious lately. (work stuff regarding my medical leave because of my injury. it just got extended 8 more weeks and i have a work meeting tomorrow morning thats a normal ~3 months since being hired training/evaluation meeting and i just... idk. its stressing me out that i have to go to this thing even though i spent 2 out of those 3 months on medical leave. it's stressing me out because i think the hr lady was pissed that it got extended that long and idk if she'll be there. it's stressing me out because i haven't seen any of them in so long and i didnt have time to bond/get to know anyone before i had to take time off so its prob. gonna be awkward as hell. i'm stresssssssssed that they'll ask question about my injury/they'll think i look fine and i should just get back to work anyways. etc etc etc. dumb stuff that's not really grounded in reality tbh. but still. hello anxiety disorder.) i could use a little seaside escape/a 'cleansing myself in the sea' moment, that's all yk?

[editorialsonlife]

Well

Welp, feeling like doing an update because there's been a lot going on to be honest. its one of those weird dichotomies where every day feels like an eternity and there's so much going on and then you look back and you're like oh, ok its just my brain making it difficult and making things take forever but anyway.

LOCKDOOOOOOOWWWWWWNNNNNNN

Lockdown life was good, apart from being thrust into it so suddenly dave left a banana on his desk. Wasn't great to come back to after 5 weeks out of the office - mummified mouldy banana!! Classic. We luckily got our first jab before lockdown started so that was good, and we were reasonably well stocked up on food and were generally a lot healthier this lockdown that last. honestly, there's a level of chill and serenity in lockdown that i just love. the ability to set my own schedule and only work the hours I actually work to get the job done? Amazing. getting 8.5 hours of sleep each night without having to wake to an alarm blaring? AMAZING. getting to go for walks every afternoon? SO FLIPPING GOOD. I love it so much, I really really do. I need this to be my life permanently.

WORK

Work is just ongoing and draining and honestly, coming back to the office was so fucking stressful and it was only one day. Being at home is just the fucking bomb. Pending home decisions, I wanna go contracting I think, but also ideally two part time contracts to have more flexibility? I dunno. You'd think a big 4 would provide variety but it really doesn't and honestly, with Richie leaving, wellington is just a sinking ship. Sean's off on parental leave, Kirstyn is down to four days a week, ben will be gone if he doesn't get promoted (and I don't think he will be tbh). Jack is just muddling along, Nigel wants to swap to consulting as well, Matt's going to be a shit leader in terms of bringing in work so it's just not going to work. and in our wider group it's going to get even more messy with heaps of the analysts leaving and a couple of senior hires too. so I think it's probably time to jump ship in general, pending the home stuff below. Also, coming back after a break again, I'm like, I don't actually like a lot of you? All the people I enjoy here are in other teams and groups, and I'll be sad to leave you all, but like, not enough to stay anyway lol.

Pending the home below, two options are to just going and get a job with a $30k payrise to make up for the maternity leave benefits I'm gunna leave behind when I leave this role - 18 weeks full pay, $100 a week for the first year back and a full year of maternity leave. It's basically 30k post tax which is a bit nuts to walk away from to be honest.

Otherwise the other option is to go contracting. Less security overall but holy shit so much money. If I went in as a project coordinator at the lowest rate to build up a bit of a portfolio I'd need to work 40 weeks of 40 hr weeks and Id basically match my current salary plus the lost family leave benefits and still qualify for govt maternity leave payments. Realistically I could go in as a project manager for $140 an hour ($60 more an hour than the above math) and absolutely smash it at that level as well so ya know, there's a bunch of other info. I like the idea of the flexibility of it and only having 6 months even if its a shitshow and beign able to walk away at the end of it. I really don't want to get a govt job and this is a v govt town which is fine but also, if I can avoid it that would be great. I just know I'm not gunna thrive in that environment.

Need to talk to Dave to get him across the line on the security issue part of that though. I've mostly come a long way in terms of my financial management (thanks YNAB) so I think he'd be ok with it mostly.

So there's a lot to toss up there because......

HOME

We got the reno plans done during lockdown, finally. which was super good. but holy fkn jesus $$$$$$ ++++++++++. The guy is coming around for the final quote on Thursday. We indicatively said $100k total because we're doing kitchen laundry bathroom and toilet. so only the most expensive rooms and when I was talking to him last week he said 'that might cover it' and they're seeing cost escalations of 7-10% a week which is just insane. we're not doing anything structural apart from putting in a cavity slider in the bathroom, and the quote they'll give us won't include flooring since they won't do it.

Meanwhile, the prefab homes I were looking at for our site were $425k fully done. Like, I'm not going to spend $130K on doing up my 1940s ex state house ya know? That's not good cost benefit ratio.

So depending on what that comes out at on thursday we'll be able to make some plans.

We also want to start trying for kids next year and need these renos done first - I am not having kids and no dishwasher lol.

Also we need bank financing so good to be in a permanent stable job for that application. the good thing is we have so much equity we know we can borrow whatever we need, I just don't want to spend that much money on it because it's fkn ridiculous. and if I'm going on maternity leave we need to be able to cover it all on dave's salary and whatever benefits I have as well so there;s a lot of financial planning and spreadsheeting going on at the moment lol. it's fab.

either way. we've got plenty of options up our sleeve. we've got friends who's brother owns a building company so we can talk to them, we've got the garage so we can get things prefabricated even if they're not installed til next year, Dave can get shit at cost through his work for whiteware, there;s plenty of things to like cost control we can do, we just need to know where we're starting from basically. thats the challenging part. but we'll figure it out, its just taking longer than I want it to basically.

We also planted up the vege garden for the spring/summer which was lovely, super jazzed about that. we've finally got the garden to a reasonably low maintenance level where everything is mostly under control and it's such a relief, honestly.

PERSONAL

Man what a shift to lockdown last year honestly. I think the last 8 weeks in particular has just been like, a massive reality check of how absolutely shit the last year was and how fucking glad I am to be rid of it. I spent a week absolutely spiralling 2 weeks ago now and honestly, I don't know how I lived in the state for more than a year. I actually don't know how I did it. and I could not be more glad that I'm finally on the other side of it, for the most part. There's still a bunch of other stuff to work through (hahahahahaha when is there not like damn) but fucking hell its nice to just not be anxious and nauseous and wound up constantly. life is actually accessible. miracle.

My workmate had his bebe - I went round and got newborn cuddles and was like, oh, is this what it is to be clucky? this is odd. so there's that as well. I think we'll probably start trying next year pending renos and jobs etc. If the renos can be done in jan I'll prob just stick it at the job to get the benefits but I dunno. it's a tough call to make really. we shall see. This all assumes we get knocked up without any issues which is questionable these days. I really want to feel healthier before getting pregnant as well, and part of that is losing weight. however, given discussing that is what triggered the spiral we're working on that one slowly.

Also, lets have a moment for counselling, because fkn bless anne and all her hard work honestly. I actually ended up emailing her being like, I;m losing my shit on the monday and then talked to her on thursday. And its so funny because it's such a counselling thing but I didn't realise until afterwards what she'd done but she was like you're clearly not doing well and then the night before dave got a fkn miserable migraine and he was up for like, 2 hrs powerchucking except he didn't make it to the bathroom in time so guess who was cleaning up vomit at 130am trying not to chuck herself but I digress. anyway, not doing well, couldn't even explain why, didn't even have words and super tired and she's like, what lynaire up to this week how's she going with izzy and chat about that and then be like how are you feeling about your body and then 5 more mins of chat about the cat and the chickens and then like bam hard question and then hows it going with x and y and z and its like, it wasn't til I was on my walk afterwards when I FINALLY started feeling marginally better I was like damn woman work your magic for figuring it out for me and helping me reregulate. all over the phone as well since we were still in lockdown. GREAT WORK FRIEND.

and then last week was like totally fucked theoretical discussion about religion and the role it's played in my life and fate vs free will and all this nutty shit but genuinely just a great discussion. She's the best and I love her. thank good for good counsellors. thank god I can afford to pay for it honestly.

Dave and I are just chugging along, god bless that man. I love him. its amazing. I miss having friends close by but understand why they had to move (boooooo f u house prices). Family is pretty chill, still not really talking to dave's parents which is nightmarish but we'll deal with that when we need to. gunna have to go and visit them at some point coz dave misses them and I feel for him, I really do. It's the whole boundaries renegotiation I went through with my family last year post wedding blow up and its just not a fun place to be. oh well. can't fix it for him but also I'm not putting up with that level of BS from either of our families once we have children. not gunna happen.

Either way, life is busy and full and fun and I'm enjoying it. Daylight savings starts this weekend too, its october next week WTF and I'm just waiting for 4pm to find out what's gunna happen to our girls trip. Clearly we cancelled our sept trip to christchurch and akaroa and hanmer springs so my covid travel curse continues. fkn ridic. Still dunno what we're gunna do with $2500 of flight credits coz if we get knocked up theres def no international trips happening any time soon.

thus concludes the almost 2000 word write up of life. hope you've enjoyed it. I'll throw up some pics in a separate post if people care about reno plans. such a good time!

[transrightsjimin]

on a better note, i slept for 9 hrs in total today!! :D i had 2 rly interesting dreams.

i remembered it well a few hours ago but now it's vague. at any rate it involved some kind of futuristic dystopian city w someone, who sometimes was jimin, as main character? whose POV i saw, and he tried to shoot laser beams at either jake paul or logan paul? idk its one w longer hair. he was the villain and he was like this frustrating one who somehow couldnt be touched / damaged, like made of indestructable steel or smth, and he sort of telekinetically pushed the main character (who at this point was not jm but random just. a POV from someone) away who in effect kept flying backwards further and further, trying to toss energy balls down at logan paul or w/e but bc he moved further away the hero eventually couldnt aim well and was just flying backwards above sea and (this felt more like it was me bc i tried to aim my hand in the dream) i did one more toss of some elrctricity / energy ball, which was so terribly badly aimed that it hit an area near a bay. i mean i couldnt see it bc i saw only sea, but the main character spent either days? months? or years? floating in the ocean bc they were like semi-immortal but also too helpless and dehydrated to swim back.

and once reaching back to the shore, they discovered that a building for a ferry to the city had been partially destroyed and flooded under water (bc of their last energy ball explosion thing hit). in one damaged building that was flooded, there was a teen sitting in the corner grumpily and it seemed the main character recognized them from before they left. the guy from the ferry apparently lost his wife due to the disaster and the protagonist tried to console him and held a hand on his back and it felt ironic bc they ( i???) themself caused this tragedy. the city itself was mostly not flooded and seemed to do a lot better. idk what happened w the paul villain guy bc i didnt see him in the rest of the dream, unless he was that villain near the end.

also bangtan was in that city, living in a bright fun multi-coloured dorm thingy and they were in a polyamorous relationship and i dont remember much from them in the dream for the rest but im always happy to see them in dreams lol. (i have had a particular dream at least twice where i saw them performing in a super downward sloping underground concert hall cave thing, but i didnt attend it irl in the dream, only saw it like a ghost looking back? anyway)

and there was a part to a dream, or maybe a second dream, where some kind of entity that was huge and had claws, a bit like a mole maybe, but it doesmt dig deep, maybe just a human w supernatural powers, but its appearance wasnt specific and i kept making it up. and it would try to hurt ppl, esp the protagonist, so they tried to hide within a sort of factory (hidden behind some shops) w steam and water and it had like metal bars around water tanks, that ppl could hide in and it apparently would protect u. there were also unidentifiable former primary or high school classmates of mine in there. i wanted to hide in that space but it was too crowded according to some official so i / main character moved into the next room, where they took a carriage w clothes and an old person they had w them tried to hide underneath those clothes, but later on that person wasnt there anymore. i think my dreams r like this bc im just so forgetful. anyway i tried to find a place to hide but i was insude some kind of healthcare building apparently and made up a lie to some nurses who introduced themselves to me and asked me why i didnt wear my work uniform and who i was, and i kept going w the carriage w clothing and i tried to figure out where to leave those clothes so i at least pretended to do my job, but the room and facility numbers were kind of confusing bc w either way i interpreted it, i ended up at small rooms w nothing but a small indoor swimming pool and i didnt think it made sense to dump dry clothes there.

WAIT i also just remembered another dream i had last night, where there was a hugealien chicken(?) (like lets say 30 meters high) in a building of a school, and it was about to have baby chicks but instead of eggs it got pink slime on the floor which young offspring would arise from. and the chicken was rly agitated and tried to move around, possibly soon try to break through walls and wreck stuff, so me / main character and friend tried to evacuate high school(?) students in the school building directly next to it and direct them to the exits but also by telekenisis, like we sort of pushed them out the classes through the exit by mind powers sgxgkdkgdgk

i think that chicken was prob what tried to then proceed to go after them in the paragraph i described before that one.

[socknerd]

yayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy christmas is OVER now just to get thru the weird fucking xmas-nye limbo period where things in general have a tenuous connection with time and reality

anyway i managed to make things thru even with having forgotten my antidepressants 2 days in a row lololol. i currently remedying that but it’ll be several hrs b4 the withdrawals stop and also my emotions stop flailing, and hopefully i don’t throw up in the meantime from going straight back into a high dose.

also i managed to make it thru with some socialisation tho probs not as much as i should have lol. had to skip out on my parents reasonably abruptly and my mum was like “is something wrong?” HAH like i’m gonna answer that truthfully, of COURSE shit’s wrong you keep deadnaming and misgendering me and getting offended if anyone tries to correct you, and i’ve had years of “no talking back” getting literally beat into me, so. and neither my dad nor my sisters are much better. and then i had to spend some time around extended fam which was better bc they at least are good to my face and some of them are genuine family, so. but gods i spent the whole day going “i shoulda stayed at home with the cats”.

christmas is fucking weird anyway. i don’t really celebrate it myself and would be totally happy for it to disappear. i’m not christian, so there’s no jesus to celebrate. i don’t mind the celebrating family and friends and the movement of seasons w/e tho. also it was bigger when i was younger, and somewhat christian, and when it was more of a thing bc the trip to extended family was more of a deal bc i lived further away and there was more of an effort on all sides to connect. now ... it’s an obligation at best. plus nan died about 10 yrs back and grandpa since then has just kinda disappeared and got caught up in his new family.

anyway christmas just brings up a ton of shit and when i got home yesterday i was just so tired and my brain just kept going over how most of my family treats me like shit overall and how i can’t come to terms with that.

now let’s hopefully survive the next week. and then on. it’s gonna be rough tbh. i have even less money to survive on these days than i did before bc i need to pay health insurance to live a reasonably ok life, so i have just enough for food petrol and rent now. gonna be fun when an emergency comes up, or i need to pay for my meds, or my car, or w/e. and i srsly don’t have the capacity to work or study rn but no one’s listening to me when i’m trying to explain this to them or ask for help and if they don’t help then i can’t even get the tiny amount of govt assistance money i’m getting rn that’s keeping me alive. and bc i can’t really work or study or w/e and have extremely little motivation and no capacity to make goals, my life feels empty and meaningless and that doesn’t make wanting to survive easier.

like. i’m doing the best i ever have in my life. and it still sucks this bad. and i don’t want to kill myself most of the time but wanting to exist isn’t rly a thing.

anyway the antidepressants and coffee seem to be kicking in so i feel slightly better now. wtf. ugh.

[yumenosakiacademy]

after all these yrs I finally deleted myst!c messenger off my tablet bc I acknowledged tht I wouldn't go back n reread the content I'd finished on it prob nor do the other routes bc the game is so taxing (I didn't Ike to miss anything so I tried to 100% stuff). tho I immediately regret deleting it even tho I hadn't updated or played it in like 6 yrs bc like... all my time n weeks spent n hrs of sleep lost on the game is gone/not tangible now anymore.. :( n if I want jum!n or sevens route now I'll have to resort to youtube.

edit: I deleted it impulsively despite me having other things I could delete 2 clear up my storage I'm so sorry past!me. I feel Bad abt it now :((

[jimmyaquino]

I saw the 9 member female KPop group TWICE on Sunday! My first KPop concert ever and it did NOT disappoint! Nayeon, Sana, Jihyo, Mina, Dahyun, Chaeyoung, Jeongyeon, Momo & Tzuyu were non-stop entertainment. I took my friend Alexandra to accompany. I bought tix way late so they weren't the best but still quite expensive. 2nd tier but in the first row. So no one in front of us, but quite a bit to the left side. Luckily, we had a big screen by us and the ladies turned to the side often to perform/greet our side. I know UBS Arena in Long Island is new so maybe they didn't have the set up for extra and/or bigger screens...but they were sorely lacking. 3 total. One on each side and one in the middle. I've seen other concerts of theirs online (most likely in bigger arenas) w/ multiple screens and bigger ones at that. But a minor thing. We were told the concert was 3 hours total. I assumed there might be a break like in a Broadway show. NO SIRREE! These ladies sang (yes they often sang ALONG to to their own tracks but def genuinely sung just as much) and danced their asses off. There was NO break and they ended up going for 3 1/2 hrs! Some moments were spent just chatting to the audience. None are fluent in English so there was a translator offstage. Many did try speaking phrases in English and it was so cute. Being a KPop fan and watcher of a lot of South Korean TV, film, talk shows, variety shows, etc...I def pick up words here and there. I'll be fluent in no time! :) Many of them were also very funny during these chats. Dahyun is naturally a goof and played w/ the audience a lot. Some touching moments with Jeongyeon when she chatted. As fans like me (their fandom is called ONCE) know, she had been out for awhile with both injuries and a mental health break. She skipped the concerts in South Korea but wanted to do the states. They played 5 cities over here. Fancams are a big thing so I had seen footage from the previous shows (this was their last US show) and Jeongyeon visibly struggled in some places and seemed to stand back on some other numbers. Not sure if she sat any out completely but wouldn't be mad at her or blame her. So her emotional speech and the support of all of us ONCE screaming her name had her tear up for a bit. She was so grateful to be able to perform though. She did GREAT and never seemed to flag until right near the very end at the encore where she had that look like "okay, let's finish this up". Not in a bad way but she was just exhausted. Heck they all probably were. They were all great in their own right but like any group, some just have better stage presence. The leader and main vocalist Jihyo was mesmerizing to watch. While my "biases" are Sana and Nayeon, I've always loved Jihyo too. Good singer and even though they joke she always picks up the dances last, she's a great dancer. She has the best facial expressions too. Within 10 minutes, Alex was like "I love her!". She was amazing and so full of energy even during the encore where they were playing around and didn't have to dance as much. But she sure did! I did catch her right near the end of the encore sticking her tongue out w/ a playful pant like "whew!". So cute. You deserve a rest, boo! You killed it! The music is infectious and the choreography is super fun. KPop groups are PROS when it comes to crowdplay and really rely on and involve the audience. Always praising us and including us to sing along/do fan chants/etc. Production values are high w/ great costumes, pyrotechnics, etc. So well done! Alex and I found something super cute which I've noticed before but just not to the extent. Whether in English or Korean when they chatted, EVERY one of them would say in some form "So did you like it, Once? Are you having fun?" We were like damn these ladies need some validation! ;) It's prob just something drilled into them by their company as all KPop groups seem to do that a lot. Something that will make the audience scream in approval. It reminded me of myself as I always asked "MAMA AM I PRETTY AM I HUH HUH". :P

The aforementioned encore was so fun. They bring out this spinning wheel with like 20 songs on it. Some they spin for real and sing whatever pops up. Others they sort of cheated to sing a certain song if the crowd seemed to lean towards one or they wanted it. I think they went over their usual encore time. At one point, they asked the crowd to vote between 2 songs that the wheel hit in a row and Nayeon just goes "We'll do both!" Ha! We loved it of course. Kudos to the women and their team and staff. They make it worth your while not just w/ the length but with the genuine positive and fun atmosphere. And yes, I saw people of all ages there enjoying and singing along. So there! :) Next time they make it over here, go see them. Lots of fancams on YT so def check out the concert. You'll love it! #Twice #Once #OneInAMillion #TwiceConcert

[babyboyuto]

Get To Know Me!

i was tagged by @sapphirebluemt and now i’m tagging you!

rules: answer to 30 questions and then tag 20 blogs you’d like to know better

☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️☁️

nickname: i dont really have one bc my name is already short but my fam calls me E or El and one of my friends calls me Bean 

gender: female

zodiac: technically leo but i don’t act like it bc of my moon and rising

height: 5′9″ or 175 cm (she tall!)

age: 18 (19 in 2 months)

time: 8 PM

favorite bands/solo artists: here we go! ok so all the groups/people I stan: BTS, GOT7, Seventeen, EXO, NCT (my ult group), SHINee, Day6, BLACKPINK, Jay Park, iKON, Red Velvet, Twice, Pentagon, HyunA

song stuck in my head: Get It by Pristin V 

last movie i saw: Deadpool 2 with my dad 

last thing i googled: taemin and jungwoo (to show my sister lol)

other blogs: NONE! this is it :)

do i get asks: never but I want them! ask me questions losers

why i chose my username: my username was sikeadelic for like 6 years but I wanted something kpop related and i love yuto, i just want to protect him so babyboyuto 

following: 809 yikes

average amount of sleep: it’s summer for me rn so like 12 hrs 

lucky number: i dont really have one but i like 4???

what i am wearing: high waisted shorts from pacsun that are like color-blocked but with different denim washes? and a No Doubt shirt from urban that I tied so its cropped

dream job: i dont really know yet, i’m majoring in business mgmt and i want to do something with an international business, i kinda want to work for a music company and work in the marketing/operations sector y’know? or work for a business that helps people, like a non-profit

dream trip: i dont have one, i just wanna travel. i really want to go to seoul, tokyo, thailand, and rn i really want to go to hawaii bc i love it but its kind of exploding so 

favorite food: ALL

play any instruments: lol fuck no

favorite song: idek, i have so many bc i listen to sooo much music but honestly replay by shinee is probs my favorite. it used to put me in a good mood but now i just cry but i still love it

play(ed) any sports: cheer! even though i’m the least peppy person i know, but i was a fucking bomb cheerleader

hair color: like dirty blonde/ light brown?? it used to be super blonde but it’s gotten darker as i’ve aged

eye color: kinda like a denim blue but i have green around my pupils

most iconic song: in my opinion it’d be move by taemin, so sexy and so gay

languages you speak/are learning: english bc native language and ELEMENTARY spanish bc i learned it in high school

random fact: i genuinely enjoy asmr

describe yourself as aesthetics/things: okayyy so glowy summer early evening, peachy colors, dusty pink, yellow/pink roses, warm sun rays, classic california beach, cozy kitty laying in the sun, late summer bbqs with friends, warm summer nights spent swimming, in n out

and now i’m tagging you! i am “new” to the kpop community i guess. i got into kpop in late august and i dont have many friends in the kpop community but i want some!! so here i am :) feel free to message me any time, or follow me on instagram! my personal is @ellabensen and my spam (which is kind of a mix between a personal finsta and a kpop spam) is @kms.ella 

thanks Ashley for tagging me 🧡💛❤️ 

@p6y @igot7-penta-seo @jellybeanmulti @kinodarling @marcus-lee9 @taeminspout @gyu @nakamotens @markgf @okmica @tentakul @pen1ag0n @cherriedawn @peachyunz @holyfuckmark @jaewin  @sparkler @ohsehuns @kinoclub @mydays

-Ella 💖

[thelifeoflorna]

~14/7/2021~ It's been a while since this face has graced my feed, but it's been a while since this face has had make up on and has felt feed worthy! 🙈 Today has been a super busy working day, but good as desperately in need of some distraction due to the chaos that is my personal life 😰🤯 First spent the morning printing and filing my peer support resources, as well as booking and confirming appointments with people (very quickly ended up with a full diary but that's what I'm used to!) 😮 Then had team meeting - shared some resources I've created - they were all super pleased with them and have been signed off for distribution 👍 Then in afternoon had peer support training - prob best one we've had so far! And then my first 1-1 peer support session for the service - was nervous/excited but it was so good and mutually beneficial - reminded me of all the reasons why I 💜 #peersupport . Had some admin bits to do for that after. Had dinner 🥘 Waiting for N to arrive - got her to come in for 2 hrs this eve to clean and supervise my shower - will probably go for a walk while she cleans 🌳👣☀️ Weird thing's just happened where received promo/spam type tweet from the account of friend/colleague who passed away - really upset and unsettled us 🥺 Also in other news - M's tested positive for covid!! So got that to attempt to sort out... 🙈🤯 🦄 https://www.instagram.com/p/CRUSR6RJDkn-5tzsfvtbp-W480Niht0hptfdtg0/?utm_medium=tumblr

[daddys-chaton-noir]

I haven't read the questions just yet but, 2, 5, 17, 18, 29, and 31. Por favor y gracias. Love the blog, by the way!

2. Indoor date or outdoor date?

toughie! mostly indoors but we have been hankering to get outdoors so that’s prob what’s next!

5. Rough and messy or Romantic and gentle?

rough & messy IS romantic for me so that. it has patches of gentle.

so easy to appreciate a soft kiss after a sharp slap

17. What do you think about when you touch yourself?

my husband. my husband fucking other women. my husband fucking other women w/ me. my husband fucking me w/ other men. atm. blowbangs. gangbangs. that one time that rly cool blogger said he’d spank me any time. scissoring w/ la dozy babe. being bullied by tasty cakes. john krasinki in a quiet place. stepping on this cute shakespearean penguin. doja cat. the yellow star episode of cool devices…that scene w/ mark ruffalo in thanks for sharing…

18. Have any embarrassing kinks/fantasies?

lol all of them? idk what to even tell u. i’m embarrassed by my daddy kink. i’m embarrassed abt water sports fun. breeding. fetish. cuckquean stuff. lol. puppy play! my face hurts so bad rn omggg somad!

29. You pick the scene: lingerie or completely nude?

lingerie. something cream colored 

31. Date you’ve ever been on

one of the worst dates i’ve ever been on was when we went to sea world. it was depressing. the whole thing. those animals shouldn’t be there. i was wrong. i’m sorry we spent money on that. sorry we contributed. it rained torrents on the way back to the car. we had checked out of the hotel & had a 6-9 hr drive home (can’t remember exactly b/c—weed is a helluva drug lol). so just like NO. then we got home & shortly watched blackfish sooo yep

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[anasianpotato]

30 Days Writing Challenge

I just found this challenge on twitter and, well, i dont really have much things to do soooo here we go!!

DAY 1: its either im way too excited for things or idgaf at all, theres no in between. im socially awkward, especially around new people, but once you get to know me theres no way to stop me from talking! im a lil bit sarcastic and like to throw shades at people ehe and lastly, i love spilled tea but not spilling them #guilty

DAY 2: good music makeeeeeeessss me super happy, like literally it can set my mood for the day. i loveee cute animals, just looking at them makes me happy! and also mini-sized things makes me want to explode from happiness hehehe lastly, hugs and kisses

DAY 3: Bandung, June 22nd 2019. The place, the moment, the person. Everything was soooo perfect. We went to see Phum Viphurit and it was nothing less than amazing. The rough chair, the 8 hr trip, the sunset. We started to grow apart at that time, we both knew it but refused to talk about it. Joji’s Sanctuary just recently came out, he suddenly took out his earphones, plugged it to his phone, offered me the left piece, then he played the song. We were immersed in the song and lyrics and just enjoyed the sunset while sitting on the train.

DAY 4: Greece!!! UK!! Budapest!! Bandung!! Surabaya!! New York!! There are lot of places i want to visit but im in short of money soooooo yup :-) 

DAY 5: They are doing pretty much good as parents. I mean they are not the best but also not the worst. I appreciate everything they’ve done for me and yeah im grateful to have them in my life even tho im not really fond of them, i guess?

DAY 6: Being single comes hand-in-hand with happiness. I mean, its literally the time and the chance for us to learn something new about ourselves. Being single means you are not tied down to do things that you dont want to do. Being single makes you realize that you are the ONLY one person that is responsible for your own happiness. Dont let other people define your happiness!!! lol this literally is something that i write for myself.

DAY 7: Cant pick one. I loveeeeeee romance comedy movies. Cheesy, i know. My favorites are the eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, 500 days of summer, hes just not that into you, love actually, bridget jones’ diary, music&lyrics. I also love shrek the third, idk why i just love it, watched it hundreds time. The emperor’s new groove also my fav. Ghiblis’ movies are awesome too!! Spirited away, howl’s moving castle, the wind rises, and ocean waves are so so so so goodddd!! Oh and i also love Lalaland, The King’s Speech, theory of everything, the danish girl, and the imitation game.

DAY 8: Music is soooooooooo powerful!!!! I mean it. It really is powerful, well, at least for me. You know that feeling when you just found a really good song that somehow relates to you??? Music makes you feel things. I guess its just how art works? They make you feel things? Oh and also, music is the closest thing to time machine right now. See? Music, well, art in general can transport you!!

DAY 9: Happiness is def something that you need to earn by yourself. You cant just depend your happiness on someone/something else. Happiness is different for everyone, just try to find the meaning of YOUR happiness and go for it. Well, im still struggling to find my own happiness tho but lets just keep trying, shall we?

DAY 10: I dont really have that much of friend tbh but you know what they say, quality over quantity. My best friends are literally the main reason why im still here. They mean the whole world to me.

DAY 11: There’s nothing much to say about my sibling if im being honest. My sister lives in Jkt with her husband and her kids. My brother is autistic. I love my brother to death and will do anything for him. Thats all.

DAY 12: I LOVEEEEEE TV SERIES HAHAHAHA. From the good ones, to the shitty ones. Some of my favorites are modern family, the good place, brooklyn 99, stranger things, how to get away from murder, next in fashion, the amazing world of gumball, andddd i suddenly cant remember anything else

DAY 13: I dont really read books a lot, but one of my favorites is Norwegian Wood. Its just soooooo beautifully written. You can feel the love, the pain, the warmth, you can feel everything through Haruki Mukami’s words.

DAY 14: Im not the most stylish person you will ever meet. I wear similar things everyday. Neutral colors paired with culottes and sandals or sneakers. Thats it. I actually love colors but not confident enough to wear it.

DAY 15: New York or London. I dont know, i’ve always admired busy places. Cities filled with busy people doing their own thing. No one gives a fuck about what you do. Busy places make you think no matter how shitty your day is, there will always be tomorrow.

DAY 16: we used to do everything together. we used to talk for hours about everything. we used to share our favorite songs to each other. we used to laugh at our own stupid jokes. we used to go to music gigs together. we used to watch movies together. not sure if he is the one that im missing or is it just the memories? the time that we spent together was beautiful. its kinda funny to think now that we act like a stranger to each other but yeah time changes people. he was my first everything. sometimes i wonder what would happen if we’re still together to this day, would i be happier? or would i suffer more? this may sound ridiculous, but what we had was as beautiful as lyrics in songs, melodies in musics, colors in paintings. ewwwww this is sooo cringe worthy lol okay i’ll stop.

DAY 17: im so attracted to funny guys i dont know why lol i love guys who can make me laugh. i also love a guy who knows what hes doing. Guys with knowledge also turn me on lol oh and im sooo into guys with glasses.

DAY 18: 1. My full name is Bernadetha Sari Jasmine, 2. I was born in September 21st 1998, 3. I’m a middle child, 4. I’m socially awkward, 5. I literally overthink about everything, 6. I have low self-esteem, sad i know, 7. I’m majoring in Industrial Engineering, 8. I always speak the truth, 9. I’m loyal, 10. i love listening to musics, 11. i respect art, 12. i love the magic of cooking, 13. im an introvert, 14. i get shy around people im not close with, 15. im slow witted, 16. im detail oriented, 17. i know everything i want to know, 18. i wear glasses, 19. im the-go-with-the-flow kind of person, 20. i dont know what i want to do with my life, 21. i used to date a guy for 8 years straight lol, 22. i wear braces for 10 years (and still counting), 23. i hate dramas thus i always try to avoid it, 24. im a hopeless romantic, 25. im a pessimist, 26. i love ayam geprek so much!!! 27. i love buildings, 28. i also love the sound of the road when we drive around the city, 29. i daydream a lot, 30. i live in my own fantasy.

DAY 19: just read my writing for day 16

I think thats it for now, im getting tired lol prob going to continue this at some other time sooo see you!