#i promise i’m not bragging i just haven’t found a lot of joy as of late

[write-out-hysteria]

Care

Matsukawa x gn reader fluff

Author’s Note: This is sort of a prequel to my first fic? It’s a lot longer though and uh, tw disordered eating maybe

For as long as Issei had worked this job, he had been an early riser. He rose before the sun, sitting down on the edge of the bed while you lay fast asleep. He stretched and popped and cracked instinctively before getting up to brush his teeth. He’d walk, eyes still half closed, to his ‘home gym,’ or the space in the guest bedroom he had converted, knowing full well you wanted it in the garage. ‘It’s too spooky in there in the morning,’ he’d laugh, both of you knowing he just wanted to work out in the air conditioned room.

He’d finish off with yoga and meditation, centering his mind, body, and spirit, before hopping into the warm shower. He’d always leave the bathroom door open in case you woke up, ready to goofily tease you before you even remembered where you were.

“You like what you see, baby?” He’d wink, holding his Discobolus pose as you shook your head.

“Put some clothes on, Zeus,” you rolled back over but soon heard footsteps approaching.

“I’m offended that you’d compare me to the most promiscuous man on Mt. Olympus,” he kneeled next to the bed, grabbing your chin in his hand. “I’d prefer to be Perseus, and have my Andromeda ruling at my side.”

“It’s too early,” you dragged out the syllables as Issei rested his hand on your hip beneath the covers.

“What do you want for breakfast, sweetie? I can make pancakes,” he pressed a kiss to your hand resting on the pillow. You nodded, pulling the blanket back over your shoulders.

“I’m sure Perseus wore pants.” He rose, grabbing a pair of cobalt blue boxer briefs from the shared dresser.

“I’m sure Andromeda made the pancakes.”

Your arms found their way around Issei’s firm torso while he flipped each finished pancake on either of the two plates on the counter. He had a system, every other pancake was chocolate chip, “maybe you’ll be sweeter to me if I give you sugar,” he’d always say. The plain ones were for him, though he would spread peanut butter over them anyway. He’d learned that from you the first time he had made you pancakes, the first time you had spent the night in his arms.

“Do you want anything else, angel?” You shook your head against his back. He carefully turned around, handing you your plate. “I’m surprised you’re up so early,” he laughed.

“It was cold last night, had you brought out the winter blankets like I asked, I probably wouldn’t be.” You had made your way to the stool at the counter by now, cutting into your pancakes eagerly. It was his turn to hold you now, nuzzling his face into your neck after leaving a soft kiss on your jaw.

“Just say you missed me, baby. That’s okay, too.”

“Do you want to meet at that ramen place for lunch?” Issei was getting ready for his break, awaiting your text response. He was going to go anyway, he hadn’t packed any food. He just wouldn’t mind picking you up on his way.

“I can’t, I have a lunch meeting.” He frowned, those usually meant the worst for you.

“Do you want me to drop something off for you?”

“I’m not hungry,” he rolled his eyes before putting his phone back in his pocket, walking calmly down the street.

He had been battling your loss of appetite due to stress for the entirety of your relationship without much luck. He had never been one to push, but sometimes the only food he could assure you ate was breakfast. He had only gotten you to eat breakfast by making dinner early, leaving you starving by morning. It was only on bad days, it’s like your body would forget. Sometimes you noticed, but were afraid of getting sick if you ate something when you had already felt “full.”

He ate his ramen, debating bringing some back for dinner. There had been weeks where you ate the equivalent of one large meal a day. Every ‘not hungry’ made him fear a week like that, making food that you’d barely touch and praying you’d take it to work with you tomorrow so you wouldn’t wither away. His only solution up to this point was eating, and reminding you that normally this is when you’d eat too. Using your love for routine against you was his only hope, and it hadn’t been working as well as he wanted.

He could tell you felt bad about not eating, that you felt bad about worrying him. What else were you supposed to do if you simply weren’t hungry? Force feeding only made you feel inadequate, you felt full after half a sandwich or a few bites of pasta. The thought of eating a full protein made you sick. At your lowest points you’d start crying while watching tv with him, watching him snack on something you couldn’t bare the thought of consuming. ‘Issei, what’s wrong with me?’ He never knew what to say. When you got stressed your body simply refused fuel, and that worried him.

“How was work, angel?” His job had given him the ability to appear entirely composed regardless of the environment. You could never tell if he was stressed unless he dropped the facade and told you. When it was about you, he’d never tell you. When it was about you, though, you could tell. Issei was always caring. If he could tell you were in distress he’d pull out all the stops. He’d light lavender candles, he’d cook, he’d clean the counter. He wouldn’t complain if you wanted to watch something he didn’t, he wasn’t planning on taking his attention off of your subtle emotional responses.

“It was okay,” you lied. He already knew it wasn’t, but you didn’t want to talk about it. He always got home before you did, he didn’t have nearly as many responsibilities as you did. His work didn’t change, yours did. New projects meant new worries and new responsibilities.

“I’m almost done making dinner,” you had dropped your things by the door as soon as you stepped inside, making your way towards the man slaving over a pot of chicken soup. “I took the winter blankets out, I thought this might help warm you up.” You snaked your arms around his waist, hiding your face into his back as it warmed up, holding the tears welling up in your eyes. You could eat a little bit of soup, just a little bit, if it would make him feel better.

“Thank you,” you let out a deep sigh into his back. “I’m gonna shower.” He was already in his ‘pajamas.’ Issei ran too hot to sleep in anything but underwear, but enjoyed lounging around the house in your oversized Batman pants. You’d offered to buy him his own so you could match, but he said it wouldn’t be the same.

You both sunk onto the couch, searching for something comforting to watch. Maybe a disney movie, or something else you’d seen a million times. “You know how I played volleyball in high school?”

“Yeah, why?” You hadn’t forgotten. He even taught you how to play so your beach trips would be more fun.

“After practice Makki and I would compete to see who could make the better protein shake. I always won.” You laughed, probably way too much.

“You’re bragging to me about protein shakes you made 10 years ago?”

“What? They were good! Have some faith in me,” the movie kept playing, he tightened his grip around your waist. “I have no clue how I’d drink one everyday, though. If I had one now I’d probably puke. Oh, the joys of youth,” he laughed.

“Are you still hungry or something?” He wasn’t, his teenage athlete appetite had gone away as he aged.

“I was thinking about dessert.”

“I’ve had your protein shakes, I wouldn’t consider them a sweet treat.” He gasped, feigning offense.

“You know how much I hate protein powder, you think I was downing that everyday in high school?” You looked at him confused. His current protein shakes weren’t bad, for a protein shake at least. “It’s an acquired taste, and I still hold my nose and chug it.”You laughed at one of your favorite Matsukawa quirks.

“So why'd you stop making them taste good?”

“I was too broke in college to buy all that ice cream.”

“Ice cream? For protein shakes?” He rolled his eyes before pausing the movie.

“I’m gonna make you one, you’re underestimating my 17 year old metabolism.” He stood up, gesturing that you stay put. Issei was having another chaotic urge, apparently.

You turned on the couch, facing the kitchen instead of the tv. He began pulling every sugary food out of the pantry and fridge. Every flavor of ice cream, cookies, granola bars, peanut butter, anything and everything sweet. “You’re using all of that?” He nodded, haphazardly throwing everything in the blender followed by some milk, chocolate syrup, and two scoops of his protein powder. This really was a chaotic recipe, straight from the mind of a gross teenaged boy.

He came back to the couch with glasses for each of them, they looked like they had been filled with a child’s birthday cake puke. “Drink it, I promise it’s good! It’s so you can’t taste the protein powder.” It probably just tastes like chocolate and peanut butter, but you were still hesitant to drink it. “I promise, the team always liked mine better than Makki's.”

You held the glass up to your mouth, slowly drinking it, widening your eyes when you realized how good it actually was. You understood now. Your 26 year old bodies would cease to function if you had these everyday. You couldn’t pull the glass away until you were done.

“Yeah, I definitely didn’t think it’d be that good.” You laughed, wiping your upper lip.

“You couldn’t taste the protein powder right?” You nodded, watching him sip slowly on his, as his face suddenly scrunched up. “You know, I ate a lot at dinner. I probably shouldn’t drink the rest of this. You want it?” You shrugged, taking the glass out of his hand, drinking the rest like you hadn’t eaten anything all day. Oh wait, he thought. You haven’t for 14 hours. Oh wait, he thought, this is it. This was the solution to his biggest worry. A hidden reset button, your sweet tooth.

[slasherfilth]

You Are What You Eat - Chapter One (Thomas Hewitt x Reader)

You hum along to the chorus of the song blasting from your radio as you drive along the seemingly endless dirt road. Your eyes were squinting now and again to try and see through all the dust your car was kicking up as you made your way down to your Fathers old property. It had been at least a decade since you had seen it; since you'd experienced dirt roads and the sticky feeling of sweat dripping from your forehead in the sweltering Texas sun. You'd moved out of the home a long time ago, eager to leave the backwash town of Fuller and onto something greater as you had once told your father. He'd been supportive in the decision but always said you would come back to the quiet life. Like your privacy too much to be livin' in those tiny places with too many people. You had rolled your eyes naturally, adamant that you would never miss this place once you made it out. But here you were. You were driving along the same dirt road from your childhood, surprisingly eager to be away from the hustle and bustle of city life. He had been right. A small smirk curled on your lips as you thought that. He'd have a field day if you'd ever managed to tell him that. However, a small pang of sadness hit you just as quickly as the thought came. That's the main reason your back. You couldn't tell him. The only reason you could afford to move back out was because of the inheritance and a house already paid into your name. A small sigh left your lips as you tried to focus on the music once more, at this point too exhausted to cry about it anymore.

It wasn't long until you finally pulled into the old house. A smile bloomed on your face as you took in the sight of the place you once called home. Memories of you running up the steps to the patio in a hurry from school, ready to blurt out your day to your parents. A simple rope and plank swing still hanging from the big sturdy tree that sat outside the front of the house. Remembering how you would read books from dawn till dusk under the cool shade of the tree as you grew older. With a huff of effort, you jumped out of the car, eager to stretch your legs after hours of driving. And with that you began to walk towards the all too familiar house, ready to start your new life. You could only hope you enjoyed it more than your last one.

Making your way inside you couldn't help but appreciate how cute your home really was. A housewife's dream really. Sky blue the outside, and a mix of light colours painting the interior. Big white windows over the walls, letting in natural light that bounced off the wooden furniture beautifully. You'd been fortunate. Dad had left everything to you. Which you'd appreciated since all you had yourself was a small couch, TV and a washing machine. This would be a much different experience. Humming, you made your way around the house, opening windows to let light and air in. Hoping to remove the musty smell that had built up over time. Once you finished your task, you sat down on the dining room table, taking it all in. You felt lighter already. The sadness of why you now have all of this was still there, but you pushed it away to think of the better opportunities. You could do so much more here—no one to tell you what to do or what to make. A broad grin enveloped your lips as you thought of that. And with that lovely thought, you made your way back to the car. You were initially going to wait before heading to the old business, give yourself time to adjust before setting to work. But the hardworking mentality of a country upbringing wouldn't let you. There was so much to be done, and you were more than a little excited.

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 By the time you got to town it was already in the evening, but you were too eager to take a look at the old bakery and see how much work is needed to start up again. You promised yourself you wouldn't stay long, that you could come back tomorrow and begin the real work. Still, for now, you just wanted to bask in the idea of finally being able to live your dream of having your own bakery. You hoped it would all work out. Hoped the locals remembered how good the bakery once was and feel the need to come to inspect again when word got out it was open once more. It wouldn't take long. Word travelled like wildfire through these parts. And with that, you wondered how long it would take for people to realise there was a new face in town. Not too long, you hoped. You were not always the most social person, but you would still like to make friends and have tea sometimes. Maybe you would even find that once special guy out there. You almost laughed at the thought. How many times your mother had asked about boys in your life. When were you gonna get yourself a man? You ain't gonna be bringing back one of those city boys are ya? You'll need a country boy, someone who can work and take care of you. At one time, it had made you laugh. How were you going to find a country boy in the city? But she had been right in the long run. Them boys had never tickled your fancy much. Always focused on their looks, carrying around combs and swaggering around all the ladies, acting smooth. You saw right through it all.

None of them would be able to handle a good day's work. Too weak to do some heavy lifting, no matter how much they bragged and too vain to get a bit dirty to accomplish something. You wrinkled your nose. You'd be lying to yourself if you said you hadn't fantasied about a tall, muscled up, hardworking family man taking you for a spin when you were planning your new life out here. Someone that would come along and just sweep you off your feet with one hand and help you around the house and bakery with the other. Another laugh left you; good luck, girlie. How about you make it through setting up and living here before you start fantasying about all that jazz.

As you were lost in your own thoughts, you checked around the small joint, happy to find big working ovens, a register, walk-in cooler and massive pantry. It had definitely been revamped since the last time you were here which made you happy. A lot less work than what you were expecting. A simple clean down and electricity organising and it would all be good to go. You would be open by the end of the week with any luck. A hum of appreciation left you as you walked back out to your car. Thinking of some recipes, you thought the locals would like. Maybe you should try to catch up with that old meat business. See if you could strike up a deal for some meat pies. And with that you drove home, giddy about what the next few days would bring.

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You were in the back, kneading some dough for a new apple pie recipe you had been dying to try. After finding an apple tree at the end of your yard growing some beautiful juice fruits, you'd spent some time trying to perfect a recipe. Today you were eager to make it and offer some free samples to see if the locals would like it as well, maybe it could be a signature dish in your cosy little bakery. You'd been here for a few weeks by now, settling in nicely to your new house and property. And even happier with the bakery opening the week prior. You had been quite busy that day, everyone seemed to have noticed the work you'd been doing there. Maybe the few brief conversations you'd had when visiting stores had managed to get the word around enough for people to be interested. You smiled as you went to grab the rolling pin however paused as you heard the faint jingle of bells, alerting you to someone's presences. Putting on a big smile, you dusted the flour off of your hands onto the lavender apron you donned making your way to the front. You found an older lady waiting in a lovely floral dress, thick glasses perched on her nose. She immediately gave you a loving grandmother vibe that you adored instantly.

"Good morning, Ma'am. What can I get 'cha?" You placed your hands on your hips and turned to the lady.

"Morning, Darlin'. I just wanted to come check out this old place. Haven't seen it so busy since ol' Danny passed, rest his soul." You smiled gently, feeling an odd tug at your heart. No one had mentioned your father at all since this place had opened. You were relieved but also sad in away. You would have hoped people remembered him a bit more.

"Well thank you, Ma'am. I'm trying my best to continue in his likeness. I'm (Y/N), Danny's daughter. I recently moved out into his old place." You extended a hand, feeling your cheeks heat up as her eyes widened briefly, giving you a once over from head to toe before taking your hand in a soft but firm handshake.

"Well, I'll be darned. Who knew someone like him could raise such a good-looking young lady? I'm Luda Mae. I'm on the property next to yours with the Hewitt family. Got Charlie, Monty and my boy, Thomas out there." A smile flashed on your face. You had seen the old white house briefly before and wondered if anyone was even there anymore. The idea of having neighbours was a delightful one.

"Pleasure to meet you, Luda Mae. It's nice to know I'm not the only one all the way out there. How about I get you some coffee and cakes, I'd love to hear a little about the town and yourself." You decided to be a bit more forward than usual. This woman just made you feel comfortable, and you were interested in who exactly was staying near you. A wide smile adorned the older woman face.

"Well, I'd love that darlin'. White with two sugars, please. And I'll like to try that lemon tart you've got in there. Haven't had a good one in a long time since this place shut down." Joy filled you as you nodded and set to work, making double for yourself as you went to sit down with her.

"I hope it's just as good as you remember." The two of you seemed to get along great, the conversation flowed smoothly as you explained why you came back out and your ideas for the business in the future. How you had gone to culinary school in order to start your own little bakery and how excited you were to share it with people here. The two of you exchanged recipes, and Luda let you in on what local flavours and harvests were available at different times of the year. She also told you about her family, the town's history since you left and odd bits and pieces that came to mind. In between the conversation, you would have to get up to serve some people, but she seemed to enjoy the talk and food which made you happy. No one had been incredibly rude or anything here, but this was the first time someone had shown you that good old country friendliness you remembered so fondly from your childhood.

"Yeah, is a shame the old slaughterhouse shut down, would have been great to have some meat pies around this place." That piqued your interest.

"Oh? I hadn't realised it shut down. I was thinking about trying to get some meat just for that. Well darn, I'll have to think of something else now. Will be too expensive to import for now." A small frown tugged at the edge of your lips. Luda Mae clicked her tongue but smiled.

"No worries dear, I'm sure you will figure something out. If you're ever in desperate need for something you just us know. Us Hewitts aren't the richest folk around, but we're the most generous if you can look past all that ridiculous talk." You kept a smile on your face as you took in Luda's small rant, slightly worried about what she could mean. Where they not well-liked amongst the community? Luda Mae looked like a typical town grandmother though. It was very strange to you. But you didn't wish to comment as you could already tell it was a sore spot. Instead, you nodded and thanked her profusely for her offer, offering a hug as she stood tidying up the plates and cups.

"Oh, don't worry about that I'll handle it. It was lovely to meet you, Ms Hewitt, you can come around anytime for a good chat. Feel free to bring the family too." She smiled wide at that and nodded at you while you gathered up the dishes quickly.

"Will do dear, you take care now. I'll be back." You move to the back with a warm feeling, dropping the dishes next to the sink. Turning you look back at the pie you were initially making before you had gotten interrupted—thoughts of Luda Mae's rant filling your mind. From what you gathered, they weren't the most well off and were considered outcasts even in this small town. You frown. You wondered why. But shaking your head, you turn back to work. You decided you would make up for the town's ridicule and begin making small goodies for the family. You're sure she would be appreciative. She also said she had a son, you wondered how old he was. Maybe a teenager? Perhaps he would like sweets as well.

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So I’ve kind of been lurking around my favourite slashers for awhile and I love everyones stories so much. And now I feel confident adding my own little peices. I’m sure you can guess where the story is going from the clues and I hope you can see which amazingly gruesome muscial this is derived from. Tell me what you think and if you guys like it, I’ll be sure to bring that next chapter with lots of our amazing beefy boi. 

[plasticnightmaredoll]

I wanted to share the writings I am currently working on because it really is a personal “triumph” for me of sorts. After having an unpleasant experience with someone in a different fandom, I kind of lost my desire to write 😯. I lost all confidence and motivation, and even though I had ideas I could have written down, I just didn’t feel the joy anymore. 

It was months before I started to slowly get back into writing, although, for a different fandom. Not sure if I will return to writing for the fandom I was sort of left disenchanted with thanks to someone, but I am at least writing something -- anything. And I actually am having a fun time again!

These are the ideas I have that I am working on or hope to work on. Now, I can’t promise if any of these will be done any time soon, nor can I promise if I will complete all of these. Some may be abandoned, some may take a short time to write, some may take a very long time to write. But to celebrate my return to writing, I wanted to make this post.

Now, I am not trying to brag. I’m not a professional writer and I still have lots of things to improve on. So, don’t think I’m trying to act all “high and mighty.” Trust me--I have tons of insecurities about my writing! 

Anyway, here’s the list:

N/SFW Alphabets:

NSFW Alphabet for Telltale Games Penguin/Oswald “Oz” Cobblepot

SFW Alphabet for Telltale Games Riddler

SFW Alphabet for Arkham Knight Riddler

Headcanons:

NSFW + SFW Headcanons for a polyamorous relationship with Telltale Riddler and Telltale Penguin

Fics/Drabbles

“Look What I Found” - Arkham Knight Riddler x Female Reader/Female OC/Self-Insert (haven’t decided which it will be yet) (a collection of samples for this one are available here)

Summary: Basically, AK!Riddler gets his shit together after catching feelings. It just takes him some time to realize that he has developed feelings and, of course, he has to figure out how to reveal them to his lady friend (legit friend, not “that” kind of friend lol)

Notes: Will contains lots of fluff and some smut. Features Riddlerbots being cute. The title is that of a song by Lady Gaga, from the “A Star Is Born” soundtrack. It kind of fits what the plot of the fic is about, I think. May have an “epilogue” fic with LOTS of smut.

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Untitled AK Riddler Birthday Fic - Arkham Knight Riddler x Female Reader/Female OC/Self-Insert (haven’t decided which it will be yet)

Summary: Edward receives a surprise gift from his lady friend (no, not “that” kind of gift lol “That” comes later 😉) for his birthday, the first present he’s gotten from anyone in ages -- if he’s ever received one. He’s touched, but also internally panicking because he hasn’t ever gotten her a present. So, what will he get her in return?

Notes: Will contain mostly just fluff and probably no smut (I know, it’s a shock to me, too 🤣). Will feature AK!Riddler being adorkable

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"A Man Who Makes Me Alright” - Telltale Riddler x Female Reader/Female OC/Self-Insert (haven’t decided which it will be yet)

Summary: Tons of smut, some humor, and a good helping of fluff. A sort of “slice of life” drabble with Telltale Riddler and his lady, you could say. 

Notes: Will contain Daddy kink, just so you know in case it’s not your thing. Will contain Dom/Sub stuff because, let’s be real: Telltale Riddler is a fucking Dom and I am a hardcore Sub 😂. It’s not going to be, like, EXTREME, but it will be kinky. Will also be an age gap pairing but the lady in question is NOT underage, so you don’t need to freak out. But I also know some of you may not like age gap pairings so...fair warning. Very strong chance it may be a self-insert fic, and I’m half Telltale Riddler’s age so it won’t be an epic age gap pairing. This also means the fic may get a little personal -- and not just in regards to revealing some of my, uh, “interests.” Title is a line from Lady Gaga’s song, “Teeth.” I love her, ok? The song fits the pairing and content of the fic anyway.

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Untitled Enigma/Edward Nashton x Lorelei Jones (my o/c) fic 

Summary: What the title suggests. I made Enigma a hot detective girlfriend 😂😂😂 But in all seriousness: She’s still a WIP, but most of her character has been developed. The story is meant to take place while Edward is at the GCPD, right around the time he decides to blackmail the shit out of Gotham’s corrupt elite. However, things go much differently than they do in the “Arkham Origins” game.

Notes:

One major change from the “Origins” game is Edward’s motivation to go through with this blackmail plan (let’s just say he’s doing it out of love, to put it simply. The other major change is that he doesn’t become Riddler. Is it a spoiler? Yes, but not a big one. That’s actually what started this fic and the creation of Lorelei Jones: what if Edward Nashton never became Edward Nigma, the Riddler? What if something transpired that “saved” him from that descent into madness, depression, and obsession? Was if this sassy, sexy nerd actually got a happy ending instead of a tragic one? Will contain a lot of smut because...it just will 🤣 Hey, I want Enigma to have a real good fucking time, ok? (quite literally in this case 😏) Will contains plenty of fluff, though, and a decent amount of angst. 

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That’s all I have in the works for now -- and thank the lord because this is enough to keep my busy for a good while. Like I said before: no promises on when or if any or all of these will be finished, but I’m going to do my best. Hopefully nothing knocks me on my ass and ruins my motivation...

[excitedlysuffering]

Perception- Itachi X Reader Part 2

Couldn’t resist Old Man Madara😂🥰 hope you like it @youcanreadit it felt kinda rushed I’m sorry ;-; (part 1 can be found in my profile masterlist!!)

“(Y/N)! It’s been so long, I’m so glad you joined us!” You yelped as Mikoto crushed you to her chest with a strength you didn’t know the petite woman possessed. “I’m glad I’m here too, I really missed you all!” It wasn’t a lie either, the Uchiha’s were very much a second family to you, one that you hadn’t seen in far too long.

“Don’t suffocate the poor girl before she can even get in the door, dear.” The gruff voice of Fugaku filled your ears, a tinge of amusement coloring his tone. Mikoto let you go with a sheepish smile, leaving room for Shisui to step towards you, a grin on his face.

“Hey, squirt, how’s college treating ya?” You grinned chatting with the older male, feeling the familiar ease slip over you. In no time, you were talking with everyone, and your worries slipped away.

“Itachi! Where have you been?! You’re late!” You winced as the door opened and closed, revealing the raven-haired man himself. Mikoto came out to greet him, her hands on her hips and a frown on her face.

“Sorry, mother. I stopped to grab some flowers and dango,” He replies, sheepishly banding the frowning woman the lilies. Mikoto’s frown was instantly replaced with a huge smile.

“Oh, my little gentleman, come here!” She practically tackled him into a bone-crushing hug and he grunted at the surprising force behind it. “You’re just in time for dinner, son, come join us,” Fugaku beckoned, a half-smile on his face.

“Hi, everyone, sorry for the interruption,” He apologized. You kept your focus on the conversation you were having with Shisui and Sasuke, figuring if you pretended he wasn’t there it’d be fine.

“So, you going to talk to Itachi~” Shisui teased. Or not, you sighed. “Hush, you idiot. Besides-“ you saw movement in the corner of your eyes and nearly jumped out of the seat when Itachi took the vacant seat next to you. The universe was out for blood today, huh…

“Long time no see, (Y/N), how are you?” You forced a polite smile onto your face. “I’ve been alright, and you?” He flashed you one of his signature closed eye grins. “Same with me, although I’ve missed seeing everyone like this… I’m glad you came, (Y/N/N).”

You cleared your throat, reminding yourself how to breathe. How dare he- “I am too, it’s been far too long.” Your eye twitched when you saw Sasuke and Shisui smirk as if they were planning something.

“So, (Y/N), found that… special someone yet?” Shisui wiggles his eyebrows and you envisioned yourself wiping them off his face. You saw Itachi tense up and a small, secretive smile spread across your lips. Maybe you wouldn’t kill Shisui just yet…

“Yes, actually… I wasn’t planning on telling anyone but yeah… we’ve been together for about two months.” You were disturbed by the way the lie effortlessly flowed through your lips and at how genuinely surprised everyone looked at the news. Wow.

“Is he, um, is he a good guy?” Itachi choked out. You furrowed your eyebrows at his reaction. “He’d better be since I haven’t heard anything about him,” Sasuke scowled.

“Yeah, yeah, he is…” All three boys opened their mouths to shoot off more questions, but a stern voice cut them off. “Oi, leave her alone, you idiots, I’m hungry and I’d like to eat before the food goes cold!” Well, at least Old Man Madara hadn’t changed.

We all sweatdropped at his ‘grown-up’ pout. “R-right,” I agreed awkwardly. “Itadakimasu!” Everyone echoed.

O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O~O

Dinner, although it had started off awkwardly, proceeded to go off without a hitch. Mikoto and Fugako filled up a lot of your and Sasuke’s focus with questions and the like, while Shisui kept Itachi busy with conversation.

Madara, for the most part, silently watched and listened as he ate, but you could see a few smiles spread across his face throughout the meal.

“If you’ll excuse me for a moment, I’m just going to go take my plate,” You hopped up before Mikoto could insist that someone else do it. Truthfully, you could use the break, although you were having fun, being so close to Itachi after all this time was doing strange things to your heart.

You placed your silverware into the sink and times off your plate. With a calming exhale, you turned to exit the kitchen. You let out an embarrassing screech when you ran straight into a chest.

“I-Itachi! Sorry, I didn’t see you there!” He waves your apology off. “It’s fine. Did you mean what you said… about you having a boyfriend?”

You crossed your arms at the intrusive question. “What of it? Is it that hard to believe that I found someone that genuinely likes me?” He reeled back at the loaded accusation in your tone.

“No! That’s not what I meant,” He cleared his throat, trying to gather his words. “I just… did you really move on from me? Just like that…?”

Your eyes narrowed dangerously as rage spread through your entire being. “‘Just like that’?! You think I moved on ‘just like that?!’” You barely managed to keep your voice down, in order to prevent the others from hearing.

“I‘ve loved you for years and you never once acknowledged it! Not even to reject me! At first, I thought it was because you didn’t care, but now that I realized you only cared now that I’ve found someone I know it’s because you were too much of a coward to do it!”

His eyes widened at your outburst, hurt clouding his eyes. “No, that’s not it-!” You cut off his excuses with a wave of your hand. “I’ll do it for you then. I’m over you, and I want you to leave. Me. Be.” You couldn’t help but be slightly impressed with yourself at how even your voice was.

“Please, (Y/N), don’t say that… I’ve always loved you, I swear… I was just scared to say anything, I thought a relationship would distract us from our goals…” He revealed, borderline tearfully.

You scoffed in pure disbelief. “You expect me to believe that? You know what, I’m still single, but I still won’t believe such a half-assed lie like that.” His expression screamed heartbreak, but he refused to give up.

“I know I was wrong, Kami, I do, but please give me another chance… I was so scared that I had pushed you away for so long that’d I’d lost you for good.” You turned away, biting your lip.

“You really hurt me, Itachi.” His arms hesitantly encircled you, drawing you into him. “I’m so sorry, please, can you ever forgive me?” You clutched his shirt, tears now staining it. “Maybe.”

He pressed a gentle kiss to your hair. “I’m going to make it up to you, I swear it.” You held him tighter. “Don’t hurt me again, okay?” He relaxed just slightly and he pulled you away to look you in the eye.

“I swear on everything holy I will never hurt you,” He promised solemnly. You pressed your lips to his in a fleeting kiss. Even though there was still some more explaining to do, it felt as if a crucial piece of your life had finally joined the puzzle.

“Hn. Finally. I thought the two of you were going to be mutually pining your entire lives.” Sasuke huffed. You hid your face into his brother’s chest, feeling embarrassment cloud your thoughts.

“I know right, but thanks to me you can start planning their wedding Mikoto,” Shisui bragged. Mikoto’s exclamation of pure joy rang out, further tinting your cheeks red. “Oi, brats! Stop canoodling in the kitchen and bring out the dessert!”

I groaned. “M-Madara!” Was it really too much to ask for one moment uninterrupted?! “C’mon, once we finish up here, we can go off on our own, okay?” Oh, Itachi, annoyingly perceptive as always.

Taglist~ Masterlist

@alysplxnet @shinobicas @weaponsofmasspercussion @kunoichihatake @robin-boywonder @islandbbbhere @purequeenoftheimpure @dylvaz @sugarhorizons @usuratonkachiuchiha @softieitachi

[theladyofdeath]

Alone in the Ashes {18}

A Court of Thorns and Roses fanfction, characters belong to Sarah J Maas. Modern au. Revolves around Nesta x Cassian, Feyre x Rhysand, and Elain x Azriel. Other characters appear throughout. Based on multiple prompts sent in by anons tbr below.

Warning: Mature content. Alcohol abuse, verbal abuse, drugs, sex, language, eating disorders.

For summary & chapter index, click >  Alone in the Ashes {Acotar}

Word Count: 2.8k

A/N: "The one where Nesta explodes.” Sorry, friends.

“How can I explain purposely setting foot on a path so blatantly treacherous? Was the fun in the fall? ― Ellen Hopkins, Crank

“To Feyre and Rhys!” Mor called, lifting her glass to the middle of the table, where it met Feyre’s, Elain’s, and Amren’s. “I can’t believe you’re getting married to my cousin. It’s perfect. You’re perfect.”

She sighed, and Elain beamed from beside her.

“We’re so happy for you both,” she promised.

Feyre grinned. It had been a week since Rhysand proposed, and now, on Saturday night, the girls had all decided to go out to celebrate, leaving the boys at home. 

“Speaking of happiness, I hear you’ve been spending a lot of time at Azriel’s,” Feyre said, eyeing Elain. “At night.”

Elain’s cheeks turned pink as she rolled her eyes.

“Every night but one,” Mor muttered, and when Amren’s brows rose, she clarified, “Azriel stayed at her townhouse last Saturday night and came home Sunday looking very, very happy.”

Feyre slammed her glass down on the table. “You had sex?”

Elain groaned, hiding her face. “We’re supposed to be talking about you, not me.”

“Definitely had sex,” Amren muttered, grinning, as she took a sip from her glass.

“Yes,” Elain breathed, face as red as a tomato. “We did. Now, let’s move on.”

“How is he?” Mor asked. “I mean, I’ve heard rumors over the years, but he’s, you know, never clarified.”

“Is it big?” Feyre asked, brows wiggling. 

“I vote there’s more in girth than in length,” Amren followed.

Mor howled. “True.”

All eyes shot to Mor.

She blinked. “What? I’ve lived with the guy on and off for years, and if his morning wood is any indication, Amren’s not wrong.”

Elain shook her head, unable to control her laughter. “As much as I love this discussion, I vote we move on.”

“Okay, okay, moving on,” Feyre said, laying her palms flat on the table. “As soon as you tell us if we’re right or not.”

Elain took a deep breath. “Fine…...Yes to girth, now, moving on.”

Feyre fell into Amren, tears coming out of her eyes at her sister’s embarrassment - her sweet, gentle sister. 

“Be glad I’m not asking you the same questions,” Elain said, downing her glass.

“Oh, I’ll happily answer,” Feyre chuckled. “Hell, Rhys will happily answer. He likes to brag.”

Mor rolled her eyes. “Yes, but every word that comes out of his mouth while he brags is complete bullshit. Besides, talking about my cousin’s penis physically makes me ill.”

Once their laughter died down, and Feyre promised not to mention anything about Rhysand’s dick, she looked to Amren. 

“How’s Cass?”

Amren’s brows furrowed. “Oh, you mean after he spent the night in jail for beating up a bar full of people?” She shrugged. “He’s been decent. Goes to work, comes home, drowns himself in whiskey, and does it all again the next day. At least Bryaxis is there. Cassian keeps his cool with Ax next to him.”

“Because of Nesta?” Elain asked, surprised.

Amren shrugged. “He won’t talk about it, but she hasn’t been around and he lies awake at night cursing her name, so I assume so.”

“You’d think he was in love with her,” Feyre said, then stilled. “Holy fuck, he’s in love with her. Nesta. Of all people.”

“I don’t understand what the fascination is, myself,” Mor muttered.

Elain nodded, slowly. “I love Nesta, but she insists on making herself miserable at every opportunity. It’s been that way since we were in high school. Self destruction without a cure.”

Feyre knew that Elain was thinking of her own issues with depression, with thoughts of suicide lingering in the back of her mind. Feyre had been there, too. So had Mor. And Amren. But Nesta was a different breed...it never went away. And she wanted it to remain, that depression. She held onto it, craved destruction. 

Nesta was so much like their mother.

Feyre couldn’t help but be pissed off, though. She had led Cassian on, had let him feel something - Cassian, who never felt anything serious about a woman. Cassian, with his uncontrollable anger living alongside his will to bring joy to everyone around him. Nesta had taken advantage of him, and Cassian was living through the aftermath.

“I saw that guy the other day, too,” Amren went on. “Tomas.”

Elain stilled as Feyre’s eyes snapped to Amren. “What?”

“Yeah, he’s back, I guess,” she said, shrugging. “Basically lives there now.”

Feyre was already grabbing her purse and scooting out of the booth. Elain wasn’t moving, was staring at the table, hands shaking.

“Where are you going?” Mor asked, hesitantly.

“To Nesta’s. Come on.”

~~~~~

Nesta was sitting on her couch, staring at the blank t.v. when a pounding came on her door. She opened it a minute later and her sisters rushed in, Feyre first, Elain trailing after.

She sighed. “And what do I owe to this unexpected surprise?”

“Where is he?” Feyre asked, eyes narrowed. “Tomas.”

“Not here,” Nesta mumbled, shutting her door behind her. Her head was light, mind blurry. She was having trouble keeping herself upright. “Came to say hello?”

“Amren said he’s been around,” Elain said, quietly. 

Nesta knew they would find out, eventually, but she hadn’t thought they would come storming into her apartment on a Saturday night.

“Why do you care?” Nesta asked. “I’m busy-”

“Cut the shit,” Feyre snapped, and met her sister’s eyes.

Nesta figured it was her fault, she was the one who had told Feyre, who had told Elain. The night Rhysand had been taken to the hospital, when Nesta had driven her youngest sister to the place where their mother had taken her final breath. She had found Feyre, while they were all waiting for Rhysand to wake up, and tried to bring her a little bit of comfort. 

“You’re lucky to have Rhysand,” Nesta had said, sitting next to her sister in the hospital’s cafeteria, as she sipped on a cup of coffee. “I know you love him. He loves you, too.”

“Speaking of love...this whole thing with Cassian…” Feyre had started, avoiding having to talk about Rhysand, no doubt. “What’s really going on? What happened with Tomas?”

Nesta had shrugged. “Don’t know. He just left. It was for the best, anyways. He was who I got my drugs from, and nothing more.”

Feyre had stilled. “I thought you were done with that shit.”

“I’m trying,” Nesta had promised, hoping to bring her sister comfort. “It’s easier now that he’s gone. When Tomas is around, he gives it to me and I can’t say no.”

Feyre nodded, reaching across the table to grab her sister’s hand. It was the first conversation they’d had in a long, long time. “And when Cassian is around?”

Nesta snorted. “Cassian is….When Cassian is around, he makes me want to live. And I haven’t felt the want to live for as long as I can remember.”

“Where are they?” Feyre asked, voice hard, bringing Nesta back to the present.

“Where are what?” she asked, innocently.

Elain didn’t speak.

She simply watched, tears in her eyes.

Fear in her eyes.

“The drugs,” Feyre hissed.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Nesta snapped.

“Don’t fuck with me,” Feyre said, shaking her head. She walked into the kitchen and started digging through drawers, throwing shit around. “I can tell you’re high off your ass right now!”

When Feyre found nothing there, she went into Nesta’s bedroom.

Nesta was close behind. “Get out of my fucking apartment.”

But Feyre had already dug around, was already pushing Nesta out of the way and strutting into the bathroom. 

She opened the top drawer.

Nesta was standing in the doorway, hands shaking.

Feyre pulled out everything. Bottles upon bottles of pain pills, and a packet of fine, light brown powder.

“Fucking heroin?” Feyre breathed, looking slowly at Nesta. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Nesta tried to snatch it from her sister’s hand, but Feyre was sober, and much, much faster. She took everything into her hands and shoved it into her bag before brushing past Nesta.

Nesta quickly followed her back into the living room. “Fuck you!”

“Did mom’s death mean nothing?” Feyre yelled, and Elain was crying, and the fact that Elain was crying made Nesta feel like shit. “How could you do this after mom fucking died from it!”

Silence enveloped the apartment, the only sound coming from Elain’s quiet sobs. 

Nesta took a step toward her sister. It took everything in her to keep her voice steady as she said, “Maybe I wanna die, too.”

Feyre stilled and she closed her eyes, jaw locked. Then, she started shaking her head. “Don’t say that shit.”

“You wanna know the truth?” Nesta asked, arms outstretched. “You wanna know the fucking truth, Feyre? Well, here I am! So shut the fuck up and listen if you wanna know the fucking truth!” Her hands were shaking, her head pounding. She took another step toward her youngest sister, “I envy mom for taking too much shit that day. She got to leave this shitty world that day, and me? I’m still stuck here! No matter what I do! I’m here, living in this endless hell!”

Feyre said nothing. She stared at her sister, jaw hard, eyes lined with tears. 

Nesta was breathing hard. She felt like shit. Felt like shit that her sisters were crying, felt like shit that she was never there for them. She felt like shit because the only thing keeping her from feeling like shit, all the fucking time, was the drugs. She felt like shit because she relied on them, felt like shit because it was the only reason she kept Tomas Mandray around. She felt like shit because her mom left them all, because she loved the drug too much, so much that she couldn’t stop, so much that it killed her, took her away from her husband, her daughters. 

Nesta felt like shit because Cassian didn’t make her feel like shit.

But he deserved better.

At least she had done right by him. 

“You don’t have to live like this,” Feyre whispered, and took her oldest sister’s face into her hands. “You don’t deserve this.”

Lie.

It was a lie.

A lie that had been told to Nesta many times, one she wasn’t sure she could ever believe to be true. 

“I deserve worse,” Nesta countered, feeling nothing.

Feyre’s forehead fell into Nesta’s. “You deserve the world, if only you’d let yourself have it.” 

~~~~~

“You’re fucking drunk.”

“You’re fucking drunk.”

Cassian chuckled as Azriel shook his head. Yes, Rhysand was undoubtedly drunk and loving every minute of it. It was getting late, though, and Azriel, as the guardian of a four-year-old who would be up at the crack of dawn, needed to get some sleep.

“Alright,” Cassian laughed, slipping on his shoes before throwing Rhysand’s shoes at him. “I’ll walk you home before I head home.”

Rhysand let his shoes hit him in the abdomen before frowning. “Is Feyre home yet? I love Feyre.”

“I know,” Cassian muttered. “Put on your shoes and we’ll go see.”

“But shoes make my feet feel trapped,” Rhysand said, staring at his shoes. “Why would I want that for my toes?”

Azriel was laughing as Cassian picked up Rhysand’s shoes. “Then I’ll carry them and you can go in your socks.

“Good,” Rhysand slurred, stumbling toward the door. 

“Text me when he’s safe inside of his apartment, please,” Azriel begged.

Cassian promised he would as the two went out into the cool, Summer night. Rhysand jumped as his phone began to ring. He searched his body helplessly before Cassian, laughing, pulled it out Rhysand’s pocket and answered.

“Hello? Rhysand’s phone.”

“Your hand touched my dick, asshole!” Rhysand yelled.

And Feyre laughed on the other end. “Sounds like a good time over there.”

“Your future husband and the father of your children is a drunken mess, but don’t worry, I’m walking him home.”

“Thank you,” Feyre said, voice quiet. “Can you tell him I won’t be home tonight?”

“Sure,” Cassian said, dragging Rhysand by the arm, down the sidewalk, as he stared up at the moon with wide, violet eyes. “Everything okay?” 

“Yeah, just at Nesta’s-” As if remembering who she was talking to, her words trailed off. “I’ll be home in the morning though...if you could let him know.” 

“I will,” Cassian said, clearing his throat. “Um, is Nesta alright?”

The line went quiet. Then, Feyre said, “She will be.”

“Did Tomas hurt her?” he asked, unable to stop the question from coming out of his mouth. 

“Tomas isn’t here,” was all she said. “Make sure my fiance gets safely inside of our house, will you?”

Cassian chuckled, although the light never reached his eyes. “You just like any excuse to call him your fiance.”

“True,” Feyre said. “But I mean it. My fiance is a sloppy drunk.”

“Oh, I know,” Cassian said. “I’m walking him up the stairs, literally having to hold his hand.”        

Feyre laughed. “You’re a saint. Thanks Cass.”

“Yep,” he said. “Bye.”

He hung up and shoved the phone back into Rhysand’s pocket.

Once he made sure Rhysand was safely inside of his apartment, Cassian left, and before he even walked out of the front door, Rhysand was snoring on the couch.

Cassian climbed into his truck and sat in the silence for a minute.

Feyre and Nesta didn’t get along. Something must have happened, something must have been wrong. Something must have happened.

As Cassian started his truck, his mind began to wander. Then, he just got mad, reminding himself that he shouldn’t care. Nesta had made it very clear that she didn’t want him in her life. And he had told her the same.

Although, when he said it, it had been a lie.

When he pulled up in front of his own building, he had grown tired. Nothing sounded better than making his way up the stairs, closing himself inside of his apartment, and going to sleep.

But when he made it to the second floor landing, Feyre was standing in the middle of Cassian and Nesta’s apartments, holding a bag of-

“What the fuck?” he asked, and when the girls shushed him, he grabbed it out of her hand. “What are you doing with this shit? You can’t just wave it around in the open, shit, Feyre.”

She rolled her eyes. “I was giving it to Mor to flush, idiot.”

“Why do you even have this?” Cassian snapped.

And then it dawned on him.

He looked at Nesta’s closed door and sighed.

Cassian’s hand fell to his side, grabbing the little plastic bag tightly in his hand.

“She’s fine,” Feyre whispered, knowing full well the string of thoughts that were running through his mind. “Me and Elain are going to make sure this shit stays out of her apartment.”

“And Tomas?” Cassian asked, voice low. “Did she get this shit from him?”

When Feyre didn’t answer, Cassian was turning around, to storm off, to beat Tomas’s ass, but Feyre caught him by the wrist and pulled him back. She took his face into her hands, and even though he was a head taller than she was, she made him look down at her.

“You’re going to take that inside and get rid of it,” she whispered. “Then, you’re going to get your ass in bed. Beron’s already pissed he had to pick you for a bar fight this month, don’t make him take you to prison for killing some useless dealer.” 

That anger was simmering, was beckoning to be released, but Cassian saw the fear, the exhaustion, in Feyre’s eyes.

He nodded.

Feyre sighed, and kissed his bearded cheek before telling them all goodnight.

“Cass,” Mor whispered, after a moment of him staring at the closed, apartment door across from his. “Come on.”

Amren took his hand, and when he looked at her, she was wearing a small, sad smile. “Time for bed.”

Cassian nodded and, every step he took feeling heavier than the last, he followed Mor and Amren into his apartment.                                                          

He sent the drugs down the toilet and threw the bag away, just like Feyre had asked.

But he didn’t go to bed.

Instead, he went to the couch and sat down, Amren on one side of him, Mor on the other. 

He should have seen it as a sign. Should have known something was wrong with Nesta, that something wasn’t right. But he had pushed her away, let his anger in and allowed it to cloud his judgement.

Mor and Amren stayed with him. They each laid their heads on his broad shoulders and comforted him, as the night passed him by in utter silence. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

tag List (to be tagged, comment or send me an ask!)

@throne-of-ashes-and-beauty  @starkovsnesta​   @redisriding​  @photofeesh

@mariamuses​   @tswaney17    @amaranthas-whore​   @awesomelena555

@danika-defendyr​  @rachaels14 @faequeenaelin​  @theshadowsinger-and-thefawn​

@hashtolanashoba  @poisonous00​  @chemicha @samotita​

@mynewdreamwasyou​ @humming-asong​  

@candid-confetti @awkward-avocado-s​

@my-fan-side @queen-of-glass​  @stars-falling​

@ifangirlninja  @sleeping-and-books  @burritowithfeels

@morebooks-pls @kindofawalkingpoem​

@sannelovesreading @empressnesrynfaliq​

@halstudies @sleeping-and-books​ @alwayss-reading​

@amren-courtofdreams  @b00kworm​

@wifeofchrishemsworth​  @booksstorm​

@goldr0ses @blackjacks-donuts​

@humanexile  @over300books​

@booksbooksbooksworld  @starrynightsbooks​

@girl-who-reads-the-books

@mis-lil-red

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@negativenesta​

@argentumstella​

@itsme-malin

@flora-and-fae​

@feyrethedarklady​

@starryandbooks​

@gingerglides​

@gloriouspaintercreatorbandit​ @iliketoasterstrudels​

@6255igntm​  @moondancer-204​

@littlehoneyybee​  @acourtofbookworms​

@the-regal-warrior​

@awkward-avocado-s​  @nightcourtcinnamonroll​

@aelin-rowan-whitehorn​ @bamchickawowow​

@julemmaes​  @itsme-malin

@regular-nessian-trash​  @made-of-stardust-and-wanderlust

@ugh-avila​  @awkward-avocado-s​

@superspiritfestival  @the-dark-swan​  @girlgotattitude448​  @eversincebeirut​

@midnightrose-reader​  @lord-douglas-the-third​  @thestarguidingyouhome​

@empress-ofbloodshed​  @starkovsnesta​ @nickjgoodsell​

Prompts:

{ “I’m gonna fuck you so hard that you forget you ever met that asshole” - Feysand } -anonymous

{ “How about Nessian needing to fake date when they go home for the holidays?!” } - anonymous

{ “could u pls do like an elriel fic where azriel is like this mysterious bad boy and elain is a goody two shoes lik aaaaa i cant get that image out of my head” } - anonymous

[getcooler]

Be Mine

Bang Chan (SKz) x Fem!Reader

Word Count: 1,4k

Genre: fluff galore

In which Chan makes the reader’s heart flutter on her birthday. Dedicated to admin Cola’s 19th birthday (go and wish her a happy [late] birthday on her main @milkteandhan​ ). 

Warnings: probably contains more fluff than your pillow; nervous bub Chan who is too precious for this world

Heart beating fast and mind racing at a million thoughts a minute, Bang Chan sat in the cafe. He could feel his palms getting sweatier every time he glanced at the large clock on the wall. At this point, he wasn’t sure he could pick up his cup of coffee without it slipping from the palm of his hand. 

For the hundredth time, he nervously looked around Café Clé, trying to spot the familiar face he was dying to see today. 

Maybe she ran into bad traffic. That could happen. She didn’t necessarily ditch you.

He tried to comfort himself when he was met with no familiar faces. To no avail. No matter what he told himself, his heartbeat kept picking up. Now even tears were starting to prickle at his eyes. He cursed under his breath. 

When the clock struck 10, he decisively rose from his seat. He was sure of it now - you were not coming.

As he made his way to the door, it flew open. To his surprise, it revealed the person he longed to see the most. One look into your frantic eyes and he could not bring himself to be bitter. 

“Chan!” you almost cried, running the three steps it took you to reach his frozen figure. You paid no attention to his suddenly hopeful and awestruck face and apologized, “I am so sorry for being late, but hear me out! I’m not late on purpose! I swear!”

He tuned out everything as he stared at you, nothing but love and adoration filling his chest. As he watched you ramble on and on about your brother losing his phone just as you were about to step out of the house and a drunk driver causing an accident on the way to the cafe, he wasn’t sure if he was even breathing. 

You were there, right in front of him. You hadn’t ditched him after all.

“I’m glad you came,” his voice suddenly interrupted your rant. “I was starting to get scared you’d ditched me.”

The realization hit you. “You waited for me? This whole time?!”

“Of course,” he smiled sweetly, pulling you into a tight hug before mumbling the most beautiful words you’d ever heard, “I’d wait a hundred years for you.”

“Cheesy.” 

“Anyways,” he laughed and pulled away, “I’ll go and get you some bubble tea. You can go and get us a table.”

“I can pay for myself,” you trailed off when you saw the death glare in his eyes. 

“I asked you out, I’m paying,” Chan declared, playfully pushing towards the back of the cafe. “Go and get a table.”

“Fine,” you grumbled, laughing as he imitated your pout and placed a soft kiss to your cheek. Your face heated up at his actions.

Your mind filled with adoring thoughts about the caring boy who waited a whole hour for you, you made your way to your usual table in the far corner of the cafe. You couldn’t help but sigh in content when you took a seat.

It didn’t take Chan long to join you with two bubble teas and a wide smile still on his face. 

“Here you go,” he told you quietly, his smile making his voice sound so much nicer and friendlier than you thought it could. “I hope I got your order right.”

“I’m sure you did,” you replied with no hesitation. He always did. 

“So,” he sighed happily after sitting down opposite of you, “how was your day?”

Gratefully, you told him about your day. You pointedly made sure to mention that it was your birthday and that you got plenty of gifts from your family and friends. Chan seemed curious, but no matter what, he didn’t seem to offer you the reaction you’d hoped for. 

“Sounds like you had a very good day,” he spoke, adoration written all over him. “I’m glad.”

“Okay,” you sighed. You had had enough. “You’re acting weird. Why?”

“What do you mean weird?” He let out a nervous laugh. Had he been caught already?

“You keep fidgeting with your hands and you haven’t even wished me a happy birthday yet.” 

Chan let out a breath of relief before shrugging, “I didn’t think you were this impatient, love.”

“I’m not impatient, I’m worried,” you replied with a straight face. “Tell me what’s wrong, Chan.”

“I promise to tell you later.”

And soon enough ‘later’ came. The cafe had closed at eleven but Chan had not been satisfied with the two hours you two spent together. He wanted more. So he did what he had to do and took you on a walk. 

“Alright,” he hummed in thought, fingers fidgeting with yours between the two of you, “Iron Man or Spiderman?”

“You are a terrible person for asking me that,” you gasped playfully. “I can’t choose! You know that!”

“Fine, fine!” he laughed when you jabbed his side. “Then… Hyunjin or me?”

Your reply was instant. “You.”

Without meaning to speak his mind, he suddenly whispered, “Gosh, I love you so much.” 

“What was that?” you asked him, trying to ignore the way your heartbeat had picked up at his unplanned confession. 

He offered a tight-lipped smile and shook his head, “Nothing.” The playful tone returned to his voice soon enough and he spoke, “I’m flattered you chose me over Hyunjin though. Thanks.”

“Oh, shush.”

“By the way,” he took a deep breath and came to a stop at a streetlight, “I haven’t given you your birthday gift yet.”

“My birthday will be over in like five minutes, Chan. It’s almost midnight,” you teased him but allowed him to take your hands in his. “But I’m willing to bargain.”

Chan giggled nervously before reaching into his pocket. “Remember when we first met?”

“You mean, the time you ran into me and I spilt bubble tea all over you in return?” you raised an eyebrow. “You started hitting on me before I even realized what had happened. So, it’s kinda hard to forget.”

“Great,” he took in another breath. “You’ll forever remember me as a bubble-tea covered mess.”

“Probably.”

He offered you a playful glare and took his hand out of his pocket, revealing a relatively small box. You blinked in surprise.

“Before I give you this, I want to say something.” He licked his lips and avoided your gaze as he began speaking, “I really, really like you. Like, I don’t think it’s even normal to be so… enamoured with someone.”

You looked like a deer caught in headlights as he continued his confession.

His words were well-thought-out but his voice was wavering as he spoke, “But we’ve only been on a few dates, not even very good ones. I mean, I was surprised you even agree to go on a second date with me. I was a mess.”

“What are you trying to say, Chan?” you wondered aloud.

After another deep breath, he finally got to his point. “I want to make this official. I don’t want to be another fling or a random guy you keep going on dates with for the fun of it. I want there to be an us.” He let out a nervous giggle. “I want to be able to show my mother a photo of us and brag about having the most beautiful and smart and caring girlfriend. I want to be able to hold you whenever I see you. I want to be able to take you out on dates on short notice and make your heart flutter.” He bit his lip. “I want you and I want you to want me just as much.”

Your heart was a bit overwhelmed and your lungs were under a lot of pressure, but thankfully your brain was still working at its normal speeds. “Are you asking me what I think you’re asking me? Chan?”

“Will you be my girlfriend?” he asked with no further hesitation, holding your gaze and trying his best to keep a smile on his face. His hands shook as he extended the tiny box towards you. 

Carefully, you took the box from his hands and found a small bracelet, your names engraved on a little heart charm. “Chan,” you gasped and Chan could’ve sworn the whole world could heal him swallow anxiously. The terrible feeling dispersed as he heard the next words from your lips, “I was starting to think you’d never ask. Of course, I want to be your girlfriend!”

You all but jumped into his arms, letting him hold you tightly as he giggled and spun you around in nothing but pure joy. 

“Gosh, I love you so,” he mumbled once again, this time against your lips as he placed a kiss on them while putting you back down on the ground. “So, so much. I love you. I’d wait a hundred years just to see you again.”

[iya5rt]

Kalopsia Project [Bakugo Katsuki x Reader – Tokyo Ghoul AU]

Chapter 5 – It’s Called a Second Chance, not a Guarantee

Chapter Summary: Catching up with old friends, yet another day at school, and an unexpected ending to a seemingly mundane day.

Kalopsia Project Masterpost

“That’s so wild!! I can’t believe it’s really you, [F/N]-chan! It’s been forever – you look so different!” Ashido exclaimed, having long jumped up from her chair and thrown her arms around you. Middle School friendships really were something else, huh? You hugged her back, giving Kirishima a grateful smile when he noticed Ashido’s strong grip was giving you trouble with holding the tray, and took it from your hand.

“I’ve changed? It’s not me who’s died her hair pink!? It looks so good on you though, oh my gosh!” you giggled with her, moving in to give Kirishima a hug too. When your eyes swept to the other two occupying the table with them, he spoke up.

“Oh, those are Kaminari and Sero! You don’t know them since we only met in high-school but we’ve been hanging out a lot with them since!” he pointed out. You could only assume the blond with a black lightning-shaped streak in his hair was Kaminari (it did, after all, match the meaning of his name), while the black-head, who seemed to be the most regular-looking out of the bunch, was most likely Sero.

The two flashed you a grin with a small wave, and you smiled back at them.

“[L/N] [F/N], though you can just call me [F/N]! It’s nice to meet you! I used to be those two’s classmate in middle-school, though we’ve kinda lost touch since!” You motioned towards Kirishima and Ashido. You heard someone clear their throat, and glanced towards the counter, only to find Bakugo looking at you expectedly. You returned a nervous smile and a thumbs-up.

“Say, how about this? Lemme take your order and do my job, then we can perhaps catch up for a little bit?” You glanced around at the mostly empty cafe. The group of four agreed and you quickly jotted down a few more things, before returning to Midoriya, who also seemed to be constantly glancing up from the coffee he was making.

Just as you opened your mouth however, he put up a hand.

“No need. They come pretty often and always order the same thing, so I have it memorized,” he smiled, tapping his forehead. You nodded wordlessly and watched him, as he went back to work. “So, you know them then?”

You nodded back and he hummed. His eyes then scanned around the cafe quickly, until they landed on Uraraka, as she walked in from outside with a tray of empty cups.

“Uraraka-san?” he called out, and she turned to look at him. “Do you mind taking over the rest of the customers?” She glanced at you, then at the only occupied table inside, noticing the four who seemed to be awaiting your return, and nodded.

“Sure, no problem!” she smiled at you, and was soon on her way yet again. Your eyes were already wide, as you turned to Midoriya.

“Thank you, I...” Though he only laughed.

“Oh, it’s fine. You can talk to them in peace now, don’t let Kacchan bother you. Here-” he put a beautifully decorated hot cocoa (he must have been learning from Todoroki, huh), an iced tea, and a small box of macarons on your tray. “The rest will be ready in a bit but I’ll bring them over, don’t worry about it.”

With one final nod, you set off towards the group. You did briefly wonder if Midoriya also worked as a waiter occasionally. In turn, you began to picture Bakugo as one too. You had to force your laughs down though, lest you would have spilled the drinks.

The next hour or so had been spent catching up on the last 4 years with the two you hadn’t seen or talked with in forever, and getting to know the two you’d never met before. Stories were exchanged about how everyone had first met, how Mina seemed to always be responsible for the group getting into trouble, how everyone had been trying to convince Sero to dye his hair to match the rest of them (turns out – only the streak in Kaminari’s hair was unnatural, as he really was a blond, much like Bakugo). The topic of how you had come to work at Yuuei (and how they hadn’t seen you prior to today, despite being regulars, as confirmed by Midoriya himself) came up once or twice, and you had to lie about just needing a part-time job.

Well, it’s not like you were necessarily lying. Just… omitting some of the truth. Though you were pretty sure this was in everybody’s best interest.

The darkness had already befallen the city, as it was also time for Yuuei to close up shop for the day. Despite Ashido’s nonsensical protests, the four had to leave. They promised they’d be back very soon anyway, so you would have had plenty more time to talk, and perhaps hang out a little later.

“Say, how about this?” Kirishima spoke, just before you closed the door behind him. “We’re going to the arcade tomorrow, since Ashido says she wants to play some games.” The girl exclaimed something about “shooting zombies to death”, though she was a bit too far and her voice came muffled. “Wanna come with us?”

You really wanted to accept but reasoned with yourself. Your shoulder hadn’t healed. You still had the duty of working at Yuuei. And, unfortunately…

“I have class tomorrow...” Your face fell. Kirishima only shrugged.

“It’s cool! We’ll just take you with us next time, yeah? Goodnight, [F/N]-chan! See you soon!” he waved goodbye and headed down the street alongside the other three. You bid them a goodbye for now too, giggling when Ashido’s insistence on walking backwards until you were out of sight had her running into a street lamp on accident. Soon enough, they had turned a corner somewhere in the distance, and you finally closed the door, turning the sign to say ‘Closed’.

The thought of how you’d just slacked off the whole day crossed your mind. Needless to say, Bakugo hadn’t been all too pleased with this…

That night, the short segments from your dream that you could still recall even in the morning brought you joy. They were full of happiness, and smiles, and laughs, and friends.

Your life had taken a sharp but seemingly brief detour into the dangerous and extraordinary. Maybe things were finally going back to normal. Maybe there would have been nothing more for you to worry about.

…

Maybe.

***

The following day, you had found Bakugo waiting for you outside Yuuei in the morning. At your initial surprise he had mumbled that the place was on his way and he knew you were probably going to class today anyway. If anything, you were most surprised by his regular attendance. You had first taken him as the delinquent type, not the type with a perfect attendance score that showed up 20 minutes early to anything. Then again, three years together in high-school had proved you wrong a long time ago.

All throughout, you had taken notice of his sluggish and unfitting movements. He had almost bumped into a sign, crossed at a red light, and fallen face-first on the ground in just the span of 20 minutes. Something was not right. And though it bothered you at first, it didn’t take long for you to figure it out.

“Hey, Bakugo-kun? You alright?” He glanced at you, but his half-lidded eyes returned to his feet before you knew it.

“Nothin’,” he muttered, ushering you to hurry up. At this rate, he might as well have stumbled another two times. So he refused to tell you. How foolish of him to think you wouldn’t notice. Your parents did use to be ghoul investigators, after all.

You were trained in the art of observing ghouls, even if that wasn’t exactly something you could brag about at a sleepover. Or anywhere else, for that matter. Unless you were actually set on becoming an investigator yourself which, considering your recent circumstances, teetered the line between a suicidal mission and a genius calling.

“Is that so...” you grinned and sharply spun around, blocking his path. You probably looked like children goofing around to anyone passing by.  “I would say that you’re probably hungry!” He stiffened in place, but tried to give himself a skeptical look. You didn’t even let him retort anything back though. “After all, I haven’t seen you really go out ever since Friday, and who knows how long it has been since you last fed. Am I right?” you inquired, noticing he refused to look at you anymore.

“That’s not it. Even if it is, what do you care?”

You hummed and moved out of his way, returning to walking absentmindedly beside him. His pace was much easier to match with how much slower his stride was compared to usual.

“It’s alright. I’d say I get what you mean but I obviously don’t. I’m not really scared of you though, if that’s what you’re worried about!”

Bakugo raised a brow.

“Yeah? You didn’t learn anything from the first guy that tried to eat you?”

“Not a thing!” you grinned, playfully bumping into his shoulder, before running on ahead to avoid the oncoming wrath. Not that he could manage much “wrath” in his current state anyway.

***

You were quickly falling back into the mundane rhythm you were used to. After a shared class with Bakugo first thing after your arrival, you had to temporarily part ways. By the time you were ready to head back to Yuuei, the sky was already dimming and any moment now the street lights were likely going to spring to life and illuminate the darkening streets.

People were walking about, all ready to go home and retire for the day. Ah, how great some rest sounded right about now…

However, instead of the grumpy yet surprisingly mellow for today ash blond, who had offhandedly mentioned he would wait for you to return to Yuuei together, a freckled boy with messy green hair stood beside the entrance and kept glancing back and forth between his phone and the halls.

“Midoriya-kun?” You approached the familiar face. “Didn’t think I’d find you here,” you smiled. His face too lit up when he spotted you and he put away his phone.

“There you are. Kacchan-” he stopped when he noticed your scrunched brows, realizing the nickname had likely confused you. And here he was, thinking you were already used to it. “Bakugo – I mean, Bakugo – said he couldn’t make it, so I swung by to pick you up. It’s getting late and we don’t want you getting hurt again!”

Perhaps you should have been more surprised but even from the short time you’d known him, Midoriya had always sounded like such a sincere person. So did he really care for your well-being so much?

“I- thank you! There really was no need though!” You waved your hands. “I can get there by myself, no need to trouble yourself like that!” Midoriya however only shook his head, motioning for the two of you to head out, as he spoke.

“Oh, it’s fine, really. I was in the area anyway. And hey – everyone seems to have taken a liking to you! We just wanna make sure you’re alright.”

You tried to hide the blush that spread to your cheeks.

Less than an hour later, Midoriya dropped you off at Yuuei, though he mentioned he had some other business to take care of and, heading out again, this time with Aizawa in tow, left you at the cafe. You weren’t scheduled to work today, so you took to helping out here and there with preparing the occasional orders (you still weren’t allowed to even touch the coffee as per Bakugo’s orders but hey, anyone could go and fetch a bottle of juice, right?), and washing some dishes.

Closing time came and went, and you did your best to strike up the occasional small conversations with the handful of fellow workers at Yuuei. You didn’t really know most of them and, as it turned out, you hadn’t even met some until today. The atmosphere was a little awkward but you at least felt at ease. None of them were acting hostile or disapproving of you. Which was a great start.

One of those same new acquaintances called you over to one of the tables to help her carry over the many leftover glasses from a particularly large group of middle-schoolers. You cringed upon remembering how loud they had been. Not that you wanted to turn down any customers, but you were more than happy they weren’t piercing your eardrums any longer.

Complying, you brought over a bigger tray and moved as many glasses as you could fit (and physically still carry) onto it. As you were about to turn around however, you noticed the girl’s head perk up, as if she was sniffing around for something.

Oh, does she have a strong sense of smell like Bakugo-kun? Does that mean Midoriya-kun and Aizawa-san are back?

Someone stormed past outside, though the blinds were closed so only their silhouette was actually visible, and stopped at the door.

Not long after, it was roughly opened, making the small bell chime to warn everyone inside of the new “customer”. Of course, that proved to be unnecessary, as all eyes were already glued to where the figure was going to emerge from any moment now. It was already so late, the place was closed, and that could only mean one thing – it was one of Yuuei’s “special customers”.

Meaning, this was a ghoul that was either too weak or afraid to hunt their own food, so they came to Aizawa, who provided them with what they needed.

You half-considered hiding in a back room to avoid being seen. It should have been okay though. You were going to have to meet all those special customers sooner or later anyway.

As the door opened, a faint mumbling came from outside.

“I can’t believe them. Curse them. Curse both of them, that human and that goddamn ghoul. To think I’d have to stoop this low. Me? This is ridiculous.”

A pair of sunken eyes with unhealthy eye bags scanned around the room. He was keeping his head low, as if ashamed to be seen, yet looking for help. His hair was messy, clothes dirty and skin covered in cuts and bruises. His movements were slow, reminding you of how Bakugo had been acting all morning.

But as his eyes darted anywhere and everywhere, they finally landed on you. At first, he had no plans of sparing you even a second glance – perhaps it wasn’t you he had been looking for.

But they lingered for just a second. And then that second became longer. You stared back. Suddenly, your heart all but stopped.

A pair of light blue eyes. Deep, yet lost and distraught. Almost like he was there but simultaneously wasn’t. His face had once used to be soft and his mouth hadn’t formed anything other than a smile for a while after you had first met him.

But it had been a smile that didn’t quite reach those distant eyes of his.

That’s what you once thought.

The tray dropped and the glasses shattered to countless pieces on the ground.

Your eyes widened, the breath hitching in your throat. You took a step back, only to be met with the cold wall.

Shit.

Shit.

SHIT.

In an instant, a pair of cold hands wrapped tightly around your throat. Suddenly it wasn’t the breath hitching in your throat that was the biggest problem. It was its inability to even reach there in the first place. He leaned closer to you, baring a crooked sneer.

“Who would’ve thought,” he said in a low voice, though every word dripped with hate and a morbid satisfaction. “To run into you here of all places.”

His grip loosened just enough for you to open one teary eye. He wanted you to see how happy he was. How overjoyed he was at this chance presenting itself to him just like that.

“Everything. Everything that has happened to me. It is all your fault.” His eyes changed. The blue hues were replaced by the familiar black and red. Just like last time. “And I don’t let people who wrong me go unpunished.”

No.

This wasn’t supposed to happen.

Was this what your second chance was going to come down to?

You were faced with him. He was going to kill you.

Monoma was here to put an end to your life once more.

But perhaps this time you weren’t going to be quite as lucky.

***

[CLASSIFIED INFORMATION]

Protocol K78152112

Subject #24

Real Name: N/A

Background: CCG Investigator mortally wounded in battle; officially classified as dead on arrival.

Results: Numerous mutations; change in size; loss of rational thought.

The subject’s skin hardened as desired, though it led to difficulty in moving. Subject was still responsive, but quickly deteriorated.

(scribbled in pen) This guy stayed pretty obedient. Should try and figure out how to replicate that.

***

Author’s Note: Haha, I feel like a mess. Anyway, hope that cliffhanger has you on edge! Come to think about it, if you consider the arcs of Tokyo Ghoul, maybe this scene wasn’t nearly as surprising, what with it somewhat mirroring Nishiki’s second encounter with Kaneki (when he was with Hide aka the most precious bean in this entire world-)

I digress. I hope you enjoyed the chapter! I would say some of the plot’s picking up next week, so please look forward to it! Thank you so much for reading, please drop your thoughts and predictions in the comments, and I’ll see you again next week! Bye~

(Psst, @afuckingunicornn  @creativedogs  @chims-kookies  - thank you for the support and here is yet another part!)

[hq-vbc]

hiiii! gosh, i love your fic! ahhh, i love your scenarios and your texts! i love everything! can i please request an angst scenario for my lovely boy akaashi, but it has a fluffy ending? thank you!!! lots of love!!!!!

aw, thanks a ton for the compliments! I got kinda carried away with this one so it’s pretty long (2053 words). I have to especially thank @imaginethathaikyuu with this scenario because she was my beta-reader and corrected my mistakes! also, she helped me to figure the argument out. please check out her blog if you haven’t yet! she’s an inspirational writer. :)

“so tell me, what was your first love like?” your friend in front of you asks you out of the blue.

surprised, you only let out a chuckle.

“what he was like?” you repeat, wallowing in your memories.

you remember him clearly. how could you ever forget that handsome face? how could you ever forget the person who genuinely cares for others? how could you ever forget akaashi keiji?

after observing you what feels like more than five minutes, your friend pulls you out of your thoughts.

“so? tell me! you were totally thinking about that person just now, right? what did I trigger?” she begs to know.

you smile and then begin to speak: “my first love? his name was akaashi keiji.”

“never heard of him. tell me more,” your friend demands.

deep in your memories you try to recall everything about him.

“he was very handsome, y’know? that’s probably how I noticed him in the first place. if you saw him, you would know what I mean. but, he’s not just a pretty face -” your friend interrupts you.

“do you have a picture of him?” she asks curiously. however, you brush it off, indicating that right now is not the time.

“sorry,” she mumbles, “please continue.”

as your friend says, you keep talking about him.

“well, he wasn’t just a pretty face. he played volleyball and - not to brag or anything - our high school team was pretty good. akaashi wasn’t the active one, he seemed rather passive on the court but he still had an important role.” and suddenly you remember all the times you went to a game to cheer for the volleyball club. you remember the days where the team scored, played with everything they had and all of your own emotions - whether they won or lost. you miss it. you truly miss these feelings and those days.

“he wasn’t really the one who took the initiative, neither was I. it took a bit until he noticed me and it took even more until we became friends.” this time, you whisper that last part.

your typically energetic friend looks at you with concern.

you take a deep breath. “before I forget to mention, we never dated. it was a bittersweet love to say the least. I think at one point in our ‘relationship’ our feelings were the same but… too much happened around us.”

“what happened?” your friend asks.

“things, y’know?” you giggle which doesn’t amuse your friend at all.

she still has those concerned eyes.

“we had an argument,” you confess and it shatters your heart to only think about that.

after all these years you know for sure that argument wasn’t necessary. you could have solved it, but adolescence and your damn pride got in the way.

you both were alone in your classroom.

although you called for him, you didn’t dare to open your mouth at that time.

“so?” akaashi started.

you played with your fingers, revealing your nervousness. the air in the classroom was heavy, you were sure you weren’t the only one who felt it.

“it’s kinda rude to drag me here and not saying anything,” he scoffed.

“it’s not like that,” you whispered.

akaashi raised his eyebrow, waiting for you to continue speaking.

“I’ve been wondering… I don’t want to pressure you or anything. but how come you tell me you don’t have any time, but you always see others?”

“never knew you were my only friend.”

“that’s definitely not what I mean. akaashi, you told me you would make time for me, heck - you even promised me! and now every time I think you’re going to fulfill that promise something else interferes!” you almost shout.

akaashi didn’t answer. he just stood there without any expression.

you took a few steps in his direction. “you aren’t going to answer?”

he only let out a sigh.

“I didn’t know a promise is equal to a law,” the male in front of you stated, no guilt or any sympathy evident in his voice.

you stared at him, tears were building up in the corner of your eyes.

as if akaashi knew you were on the verge of crying, he continued to speak: “listen, I don’t have time for this. next year I have to focus on my studies because I don’t want to half-ass my exams. I want to go to a good university. besides, I’m going to be the next captain of the volleyball team. I can’t keep that promise anymore.”

“it’s not like you ever kept it in the first place,” you said, your voice oddly calm. but you made sure to properly convey your disappointment: “I thought you were mature enough to keep your word. you don’t wanna half-ass your exams? fine, then why did you half-ass us?”

akaashi looked at your eyes, and maybe you were seeing things, but his eyes looked glassy. after taking a deep breath, he muttered: “there was never an us.”

you were furious, frustrated and foolish.

furious because of his words.

frustrated because you knew how little you meant to him.

foolish because a few minutes ago, you would have given him the world.

enraged but also calm you told akaashi: “if that’s how you think it is, I want you to leave. now.”

your friend listens to you attentively. after letting a bitter chuckle out, you take a sip of your tea.

“sometimes I still think about my words. were they too harsh? or was he too hard? but then again, I remember the fact that he always made the most rational decisions.”

the memory of him leaving the room, letting you alone, still breaks you.

your friend asks you why you didn’t follow him. you explain: “I couldn’t respond to him. there was no point in any attempt to overturn the situation. I was hopeless.”

your eyes feel sore from holding back the tears.

“after that day we avoided each other. it was like we were strangers again and that’s the part that hurts the most. suddenly, everything I cherished with him, the normal days that he made into something special, vanished. the love we had vanished.”

after that sentence your friend was silent for quite a while.

“does the story of your first love end here?”

“that would have been nice,” you reply.

immediately, she lets out a sigh full of frustration.

“I’m not quite sure if I want to know what happened afterwards. but whatever it is, just make the long story short. this hurts to listen to.”

you laugh at the remark because usually first loves are supposed to be beautiful but yours was bitter.

you had wonderful days with akaashi… but were they wonderful because of akaashi, or the circumstances? you especially hate these kind of doubts - you don’t want to be uncertain about your love of him.

“enjoy college. learn what joy, happiness and new-found independence means. and especially love. don’t neglect it - whether it is platonic or romantic. I wish you, on behalf of your school, every success. congratulations on your graduation!” the school principal announced to your entire class while you listened to the sobs of your friends, classmates and teachers. everyone had been holding flowers, receiving gifts and getting congratulated.

that room was especially crowded with everyone’s friends and family members and as chance would have it, the mass of people lead you to him.

you were standing a few steps ahead of him while he received a bouquet.

he looked happy - how couldn’t he? he made it into his dream university after all and even though you were happy for him, you didn’t want to be in pain on this wonderful day. so, you turned around.

but it wasn’t successful. a familiar voice raised right behind you: “congratulations.”

of course you knew who it was. but when you turned around, you were still surprised.

your heart felt like it was squeezed and it was none other than akaashi at fault.

“aren’t you going to reply?” he asked with a cheerful tone, a tone you dearly missed.

your response was rather dry: “thanks and congrats.”

he asked how you were and you said that you were fine.

at that moment your mother came and took you by your hand, pulling you away. you were glad she did because a minute longer and you would have been crying. definitely not tears of joy, but tears from the pain you kept locked in.

“have a nice life,” akaashi said while you were walking away.

you mumbled a “you, too,” thinking that would be the last of it.

but you could’ve sworn you heard akaashi also whisper: “I’m sorry.”

the moment you finish the story, your friend slams on the table, causing a ruckus.

while you apologize to the other customers sitting near you, your friend calms herself down.

and in one breath she asks you: “butdidheapologizebecauseofthebrokenpromiseorwhat?!”

“excuse me?”

“BUT WHAT DID HE APOLOGIZE FOR?”

“why don’t you calm down for a minute?” you advise her with a smile, making your friend nervous.

“why would you smile while radiating such a menacing vibe?” she mumbles.

you smile even more at her words to which she immediately apologizes.

after letting out a sigh, you say: “that’s what I’d like to know. did he apologize because he stopped me and my mom had to find me first? did he apologize because he knew the timing wasn’t perfect? or did he apologize because he broke the promise?”

your friends runs her hand through her hair.

“I need a break from all your rhetorical questions,” she says a little bit louder than expected.

her concerned eyes are gone, now you are confronted with fierce eyes.

“how come there’s not even an answer in sight but you’re the one dealing with all the questions?” your friend hisses.

you aren’t sure what’s happening right now.

are you getting scolded, by any chance?

“it frustrates me that you never took action! I mean, he clearly did! he was the first one who took action after you chased him away. why would he talk to you on your graduation? didn’t you say he was rather rational?” she asks, talking non-stop to explain to you what you missed.

“remember the time I had to pick your drunken ass up at 3am in the morning even though I had a lecture at 7am? well, the time has come to pay me back.” and the more she speaks the more uneasy you feel.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” is echoing in your head.

your friend points at your phone: “I want you to call him. now.” and your jaw dropped.

“hey! were you even listening to my story?!” you scold her, “I can’t possibly call him out of nowhere!”

she lets out the biggest sigh and slams on the table again, this time with less force: “yes, I was, and I clearly understand this akaashi guy more than you probably did, so trust me and give him a call!”

you feel really uneasy about this.

two years have passed since then and you don’t even know if he would actually take your call.

your doubts and fears accumulate in your stomach and you start to notice your racing heart and shivering hands.

thankfully, your friend becomes aware of your emotions and calms you down: “trust me with this one. after all, this time I am here and I won’t leave for sure. you’re not alone,” she beams.

with this said, you muster your courage and unlock your phone, looking for his number.

akaashi keiji

as much as you wanted to, you were never able to delete his number. it felt wrong to you.

before you dial his number, you look at your friend again. she nods and smiles to encourage you and it worked.

while you wait for him to answer the call, you can feel how all your emotions sink in your stomach. your whole body feels numb and you don’t even know what to say.

what if this isn’t akaashi’s number anymore?

what if he asks who you are?

but you don’t have time to think about that anymore because your mind goes blank the moment the phone is answered.

and then you hear the voice you missed so much: “took you long enough.”

[ella-se-vuelve-loca]

The Fake Fiancé | Christopher Vélez

I thought y’all might enjoy some some Christopher content today lmao it’s a little cliché, I know but whatever alsydcvs I’m in a really fluffy mood right now so don’t come for me

Warning: None lol just sOME MAJOR FLUFF

Masterlist

Wanna be tagged for future fics?

**

The car slowed down to a stop as he looked out the window. “Wait… isn’t this that new fancy restaurant you were talking about?” Chris turned to look at me. “I know you said we were going out to eat but I thought you meant McDonald’s or something. Why are we here?” That’s right. I haven’t told him yet. Oh boy, he’s going to freak. “Are you going to propose to me for the free dessert again?” He joked. “We don’t do that all the time.” I laughed. 

“Wait you’re not about to propose for real, are you? Finally gonna make an honest man of me, huh?” He smiled “Well, if you must know, we’re going to be eating in here.” He tilted his head slightly and gave me a confused look. “We’re eating here? I’m uh not exactly dressed for the venue, though I did wonder why you started putting on your makeup and new dress for a fast food place.” Now I really wish I had told him before. “If you saw me getting dolled up and change into something nice, why didn’t you?” He shrugged his shoulders.

“I just assumed you thought one of the workers was cute.” Well, I guess it’s now or never. “Chris um.. tengo que decirte algo.” He looked me and nodded his head, an indication that I continue. “We’re actually here for Sebastián’s wedding reception..” I bit my lip, nervous of his reaction. “Qué? You’re not seriously telling me this, are you? Okay, what the hell are we doing here?” I sighed. “He invited me to his wedding.” 

Christopher isn’t the type of person who doesn’t normally get upset. This, however, might have triggered something in him and I don’t blame him. “He invited you to the wedding? What is he trying to do? Rub in your face for the fact that he left you for this girl? You know I can’t stand the guy.” I know I know you can’t. I’m sorry that I’m dragging you into this. “It’s not like that. I told him that I found someone else.” If he wasn’t upset before, he’s not going to like what I’m about to ask of him. “Oh? You’ve told him you’ve moved on? Con quien?” I looked down in embarrassment. “I sort of.. kind of.. made him up..” 

“No you’re kidding me. You made up a new boyfriend?” I nodded. “When he invited me to his wedding, I freaked and asked him if I could bring a plus two for my boyfriend and Chris, I can’t go alone!” He just shook his head. “I know you’re my best friend, but this means I’m aloud to call you out for being crazy.” I just gave him a look and glanced at the building in front of us. “What is he called? Is this a full time imaginary friend?” I cleared my throat. “Well.. no..” I don’t want an imaginary friend, I want you. Why did I agree to go to this? “Hang on.. why am I here?” 

“Umm..” C’mon! You have to let him know! “Are you gonna tell him that your boyfriend was on a business trip or something? He won’t be happy to see me. After your breakup we had uh.. conversation.” This is so embarrassing. “No, I didn’t tell him.” Oh, boy. Can’t he figure this out without me having to tell him? “So you haven’t told him that your fake boyfriend couldn’t come, okay. What will he say when he asks about your new love interest?” Is he really gonna make me say it? Well, I guess this is what I get for not informing him about this beforehand. “About that um.. I was wondering if you could.. maybe be.. my..” I can’t get the words out.

“O - Oh.. you want me to be your boyfriend?” I gave him a nervous smile. “Please?” He glanced out the window and then back at me. “Um.. no.” I was shocked, but not entirely surprised. “What why?” He shook his head and moved his hair away from his face. “No he already thought I was in love with you when you were dating. I’m not adding fuel to that fire.” I turned to fully face him. “Please, Christopher help me out! I can’t do this by myself!” I’m literally begging at this point. “No no I can’t and don’t pull the “but you love me and I’m your best friend” card because that has gotten me in so much trouble since we were kids.” 

“Aye Díos, Christopher por favor. I promise I’ll make it up to you! Whatever you want!” Please don’t let me go in there alone without you. This is humiliating as it already is. This is my fault. He grumbled and sighed. “Fine. Okay okay.. I’ll be your Prince Charming, but you owe me a nice steak dinner, alright?” I practically jumped on him and gave him a hug. “Oh my God, gracias Christopher! I’ll take you out for your steak dinner after this.”

“No no no a nice one.” I smiled. “Of course. A nice steak dinner. I promise.” I sighed in relief. “You know you’re my favorite person, right?” I chuckled. “Yeah I know.” He smiled. “But you could’ve at least worn me not to wear jeans.” I gave him a small frown. “I’m sorry about that.” He reached over and opened the door. We walked out and started walking to the venue. “You do look very handsome though.” I smiled at him. “Enserio?” He laughed. “Gracias, but it’s too late to be buttering me up. There better be an open bar.”

I raised an eyebrow. “What? I’m looking for the perks. Seeing your ex boyfriend is definitely not a perk, but free food.. bars.. are always a prize.” He stopped walking suddenly and glanced down at me. “If we’re gonna do this, we need to make it look real so.. hold out your hand, please.” I held up my hand and he grabbed my favorite ring. “What are you doing?” I asked him “I’m moving your ring to your wedding ring finger and will talk about how romantic my proposal was last week and I’m thinking somewhere exotic like uh.. like a Buenos Aires somewhere - ”

“What about Disney?” I cut him off. He gave me a look and chuckled. “You seriously want to say Disney World?” I smiled at him. “Yeah, why not? It can be romantic.” 

“Fine, I proposed at Disney World.” He chuckled. “In front of the castle and everybody was crying with joy. Whatever you want, princesa.” He held onto my hand. “Let’s go.” We made our way inside the building. It was filled with so many faces. Some recognizable as I have already met some of his family before we split. “I will hold your hand and you just try to look like you want to be here. Fair deal?”

I nodded as we made our way to one side of the room. People were dancing and chatting amongst themselves. I looked up at him and realized that he looks a little tense. “Are you happy to be here with me?” I asked as I placed y hand o his arm. He just chuckled. “Of course I’m happy to be here with you. You just get me into the craziest situations sometimes.” He joked. 

“Remember that night that you - ” He stopped as his focus was suddenly somewhere else. “Oh wait, your ex is coming our way. Remember, we’re the perfect happy couple with Disney magic, apparently.” He held onto my hand as Sebastián made his way to us. “Hey guys.” He smiled. “Hola! Congratulations on tying the knot and thank you for the invite. It really means a lot to us that you wanted us here.” Christopher responded. He glanced at me and chuckled. “Hey, (Y/N).” I gave him a smile. “Hey Sebastián.” 

“So, where’s your so called “boyfriend”, hmm?” He glanced at the two of us. “Couldn’t make it or something?” Chris grinned. “Her boyfriend? She didn’t tell you?” He looked confused for a second. “Tell me what?” He glared at the both of us and placed his hands on his waist. “We got together a few months after you uh.. yeah. I just realized I was in love with her and I couldn’t almost let her get away from me again. I just adore her so much.”

He leaned in and kissed my cheek. My face must’ve been so red at that moment. Calm down, (Y/N). It’s… all for show. He leaned closer to my ear and whispered. “He looks annoyed that we’re happy. I swear you’re a terrible influence on me. I’m bragging at his wedding.” He pulled away all too soon and turned his attention back to him. 

“Sorry, I was just asking her if we could share our news with you or whether it be inappropriate, being your wedding day and all.” He just shook his head and glared at me. “No, by all means. Tell me, I’m interested.” Oh here we go. This ought to be interesting. “I just can’t wait to tell everybody that we’ve made it official! We’ve only just returned from our holiday when I asked her to marry me. Isn’t that amazing?” He held up my hand and showed him the ring on my wedding finger. “He proposed in Disney World, in front of the castle.” I smiled. “Really?” He asked. 

“Yes what she said, in uh Disney. It’s always been her dream for that to happen, right?” He brought my hand up to his lips and placed a kiss. “I’m so.. happy for you guys.” He smiled. “Uh congratulations.” 

“Well, whatever mi prometido wants, I try to make it happen. She deserves to be happy. I want her to know how much I love her..” He looked down at me and had a small smile on his face. If only he knew how much I loved him back. He cleared his throat and broke our eye contact. “Yes, sorry of course you must have other guests to welcome. Sorry about that. She’s just so perfect. I just sometimes get lost in my thoughts when I look at her.”

Sebastián just nodded. “I’m uh happy for you guys. I should get going. Lot’s of people are coming in so..” Chris gave a short wave. “Well, I hope you have a good night. Congrats again, we hope you have a great honeymoon.” He walked away and I felt like I could breathe again. I noticed a slow song started playing and couples slowly made their way to the dance floor. 

“Gracias a Díos that he’s gone. He doesn’t get any more interesting, does he?” I laughed. “I guess not.” Since my hand was already in his, he pulled me closer to him and started walking. “C’mon, let’s dance.” I stopped in my steps and shook my head. “Oh no, I’m fine really.” He raised his eyebrow and smiled. “I know you love this song. I can see you taping your foot. It’ll be fun.” 

“Chris, I..” He walked closer to me, seeing as I wasn’t going to move any further. “I know you say you’re a terrible dancer, but if I put my hands here..” He placed his hands on my waist. “And you wrap your arms around here..” and grabbed my wrists and placed them around the back of his neck. We were now chest to chest. I want to stay in this moment with him forever. “Just sway a little and uh haha I’ll do the rest, okay?”

We started to sway back and forth, eyes locking onto each other. “I know I’m talking a lot. I always do when I get nervous.” He’s nervous? “Why are you nervous?” I asked him. “I.. I guess it’s the pressure.” Not fully believing him, I just nodded. “Sure, Chris. It’s just the pressure.” He shook his head, a smile forming onto his lips. “Alright alright I just feel like.. I don’t know.. I didn’t realize how much I’ve wanted to say that you you for years.”

“Say what?” He twirled me around and brought me back close to his body. I felt him get a little tense. “Uh.. t - to say that.. to say that I’m..” He took a deep breath. “To say that I’m in love with you.” I just stared at him in awe. He’s.. in love with me? How.. I didn’t.. I never knew he felt the same. “I don’t.. I don’t want to make things awkward.” Coming back to earth, I asked him. “How long have you felt this way about me?”

He sighed and thought for a moment. “God, how long have we been friends? Since we were six, right?” Since we were kids.. oh my God. “Since that moment we met.” Our dancing became more slower as he continued to confess to me. “Every bad relationship you’ve had and heartbreak you’ve suffered through, I just wanted to tell you I wouldn’t treat you like that because I am in love with you. But you’d always thank me for being your best friend and.. you know, I couldn’t tell you then.”

“Why are you telling me now?” He frowned, and his gaze shifted between my eyes and my lips. “I’m only telling you now because I can’t keep acting like I’m not dying to kiss you when your lips pucker because you’re trying to concentrate.” One of his hands traveled up my body to play with a stand of my hair. “I can’t keep pretending I don’t want to wrap my arms around you when your back is turned or that I don’t lie awake at night wondering what it would be like to wake up next to you and be there when you open your eyes and smile at me.”

I can’t believe this is happening to me right now. He’s in love with me… he’s in love with me! “Um.. ahh I can.. I can get a cab home. I realized how awkward this must be for you.” 

“Why can’t I keep my mouth shut?” He mumbled to himself. Why can’t I bring myself to say anything? Speak up (Y/N)! “Look I.. I understand if you want me to leave you alone for a while so you can figure how to turn me down without feeling guilty or whatever I..”

“I love you too.” I said. He stared at me, shock written all over his face. “What? Uh.. say - say that again.” He chuckled. I played with the back of his hair and smiled at him. “I.. I love you too.” He grabbed one of my hands and held onto it. “But you never said anything.” 

“Did you?” I retorted back at him. “Touché, I guess I didn’t either.” I could no longer hear the music playing in the background, for my attention was solely in him and only him. “Please don’t leave me.” I mumbled, afraid he didn’t hear me, but he did. “I’m not - I’m not going anywhere. I promise I won’t leave you alone at a wedding.”

“That’s sweet, but I wasn’t quite talking about that..”

“Oh, you meant not to leave you alone to.. think things through, right. Well I.. um promise I won’t do that either.” It felt like we were the only two people in the room. Nothing else mattered but this moment here in time. “So what now?” I asked. “Well, we don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to. We can go get ice cream and talk things through. I guess there’s a lot we never said to each other.” 

“But, we only just got here.” I told him. “Yes, I know we only got here like.. however many minutes ago. Well, how about we dance until the end of this song? You’re not such a bad dancer after all, mi amol.” I blushed as he leaned in and kissed my cheek, as he did earlier. “Te ves preciosa esta noche, mi corazón. I should have said that to you earlier. You could outshine the bride if we stay longer, so we better be kind and go before we ruin her evening.” He chuckled. He’s such a sweet talker sometimes. I looked at the ring and started to move it back to its original place. He notice and grabbed my hand. 

“No uh.. keep it on. I like seeing it and thinking about our imaginary Disney engagement. I wonder if Mickey and Minnie were there?” He joked. I pushed him away from me, laughing. “Of course they were.” I smiled at him. He glanced down at the ring and placed a kiss on top of it. “One day.. one day I’ll get you a real one. I promise, but that’s a conversation to have some other time.” A future with Chris is something I can’t wait for.

“Now, let’s go. We can do the love story stereotype and split a sundae.”

“No, I won’t be able to get any because you always eat most of it!” We both laughed. “Alright, we can get two so you don’t miss out on ice cream, geez. This is why I’m in love with you. You think of all the little things.” I bit my lip as the song ended. We started to make our way out of the building as I couldn’t stop thinking about what he said. “Can you please say that again?”

“Say what again? I love you?” I nodded, wanting to hear it come from his sweet lips again. “I’ll say it to you so often, you’ll get tired of hearing it.” He laughed. “I don’t care because it’s from you.” We both stopped in our tracks as he turned to fully face me. I can’t believe I get to call him mine. 

“I love you.. more than anything or anybody and I mean it nena.”

**

I HOPE YOU ENJOYED! AS ALWAYS, PLEASE MAKE SURE TO SEND LOVE, REBLOG AND COMMENT! I LOVE READING WHAT YOU HAVE TO SAY! IT MAKES MY DAY 

[sailorportia]

Femslash February 2020, Day 1

Fandom: Revue Starlight Relive Pairing: Tomoe Tamao/Akikaze Rui Prompt: Meet Cute

approx. 1,800 words, rated T

also available on AO3

Summary:   Thirteen year-old Akikaze Rui finds a way to change her shy demeanor in her middle school's drama club. More importantly, she wants to perform on the same stage as that gorgeous senpai. All she needs to do is work up the courage to apply...

Tags: Meet Cute, Comedy, Puppy Love, middle school!Rui, middle school!Tamao

Akikaze Rui, thirteen years-old, didn't know what to expect from her school play. It was the day of her middle school's cultural festival, and she had been wandering from attraction to attraction until her curiosity led her to the auditorium. Little did she know that her life was about to be turned upside-down. 

The actors were average at best. It was a middle school play, after all. But there was one standout performer, a shining star against a night sky of amateurs: a girl with long, dark hair.

She played the role of a princess, her character beginning the play as a regal and refined woman who is pushed into taking up the sword and becoming a fierce and formidable warrior. The actress's transformation was incredible. Rui wouldn't have believed such a dainty girl capable of such ferocious yells and impassioned speeches. It was inspiring, to say the least.

Up until now, Rui had been a leading member of the Going Home Club. She was too shy to join any social group she didn't have to, and her only extracurricular interest was kendo, but she was already enrolled at a dojo and had surpassed what most middle school students were capable of. After seeing this play—more importantly, its starring actress—Rui was inspired to try acting. She wanted to change herself, and she might be able to do so through the medium of acting. She had to join the drama club.

Rui knew she had to strike while the iron was hot. There was a chance that if she waited, the fire burning in her chest might die down and she would give into her shy nature. It had to be now.

As the other students filed out of the auditorium, Rui snuck backstage. It wasn't until she was hiding behind a prop tree that she realized she didn't have a plan. She peeked out behind the tree periodically in search of her new idol, her determination waning with every passing second. Maybe she should just leave and go to the drama club sometime later...

She stepped out from around the prop tree just in time for another girl to come out from behind the stage. Rui recognized her immediately as the actress who had turned her world upside down. The girl was still wearing the princess costume that she had on during the play. It hadn't been apparent at a distance, but now that Rui was up close she could see that this girl was astonishingly pretty. Like, "melt your brain" pretty.

"Oh, I thought everyone left," the girl said. "Are you one of the girls who volunteered to help put away the props?"

"Um, I, uh..." Rui had trouble getting words out of her mouth at the best of times, and talking to a beautiful girl she admired hardly counted as ideal circumstances. The phrase "I want to join the drama club," had seemed so easy to say when she decided to sneak backstage.

The other girl seemed unperturbed by Rui's verbal fumbling. "Could you help me with this zipper?" She turned around, showing Rui the zipper on the back of her dress. "I think it's stuck, and everyone else in the drama club has left already."

"O-okay!" It was easier for Rui to think now that she wasn't looking the gorgeous girl straight in the face. She pulled down on the zipper slowly, careful not to tear the fabric around it; indeed the zipper was stuck, and Rui had to use both hands to try to free it. Her fingers grazed the bare skin of the other girl's back, and she felt the strongest urge to apologize, though she didn't know why. What's going on with me? Rui asked herself. Why am I getting so flustered? We're both girls...

At a later date Rui would recognize this moment as her gay awakening.

The zipper jam finally gave way and the metal teeth parted. Rui pulled the zipper down just far enough to make sure it was fixed, then jumped away. "Um, it's not stuck anymore."

The girl turned around and flashed Rui a smile that turned her insides out. "You're a life-saver," she said. "We haven't met before, have we?" She looked to Rui's uniform. "You must be a first year. I'm Tomoe Tamao. Hopefully in the future I can be a more reliable senpai to you."

Rui struggled to introduce herself, as if she had forgotten her own name. She was rescued by the unlikely appearance of a third year student.

"Ooh, looks like Tamao-chan has a fan!"

Rui's idol, Tamao, frowned. "Senpai, you left me all alone. I had to ask this nice first-year to help me with this faulty zipper."

"Don't complain. Plenty of girls at this school would jump at the chance for a little private attention from her."

"What do you mean?" Tamao asked. "Is she someone famous?"

"You don't know her? That tall glass of water is Akikaze Rui-chan. She's the talk of all the athletic clubs."

Rui blushed.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Akikaze-san," Tamao said. "What club are you a member of?"

The third-year chuckled. "Akikaze-chan hasn't joined any clubs. That's why they're crazy about her. She's the tallest first year in the school, and she looks like she's only going to get taller. All the sports teams tried to recruit her at the start of the year, but she turned down all of them."

"Recruit" was a delicate way of putting it. The athletics clubs had practically waged a war over which of them would get to claim Rui. The poor girl had been forced to sneak around the school, dodging her athletic upperclassmen at every turn. For someone with social anxiety, the experience had been terrifying. It was all she could do to stutter out a polite rejection every time one of them found her. Eventually they got the message and left her alone.

"Um, that's what I wanted to talk to you about," Rui said to Tamao. "N-not about the sports clubs! I want to join the drama club. Your performance this afternoon really inspired me!" In fact, it was the most moving performance she had seen, but she was afraid of coming on too strong by saying so.

Rui was afraid that her sudden declaration would weird her out, but Tamao's eyes glittered with joy. "That's wonderful!" She took Rui's hands in her own, oblivious to the way her kouhai stilled at the contact. "You can't imagine how glad I am to hear that our play touched somebody that way."

"Jeez, you can't be a respectable senpai if you melt over a little praise," the third year said with a laugh. "Tamao-chan takes her acting seriously. A little too seriously, if you ask me."

Tamao pouted (a sight that nearly knocked Rui off her feet). "You don't take acting seriously enough, senpai."

"Don't let the busybody scare you off, Akikaze-chan. Make sure you fill out an application form." The third year cackled as she walked off. "I can't wait to brag to the other clubs that we snagged their dream member right from under their noses."

"Honestly." Tamao sighed. "I know that she's busy preparing for entrance exams, but she could at least pretend to be diligent about acting. I promise the other members of the drama club aren't like her."

The other members of the drama club could be juvenile yakuza for all Rui cared. She only had eyes for Tamao. "I promise I'll give acting my all," she said, and she meant it. If she could act half as confidently as Tamao, she'd be satisfied. If she could perform alongside Tamao—that would be a dream come true.

"I look forward to taking the stage with you, Akikaze-san. Hopefully you'll have my back in the future as you did today," Tamao added with a chuckle.

Rui's heart skipped a beat at the reminder that she'd undone her senpai's zipper. "Uh, anyway, that senpai said you're really serious about acting. Do you want to be an actress?" For some reason she felt the need to know this near-stranger's life plans.

"Ideally, yes. "I'm going to enrol at Rinmeikan School for Girls, like my mother and grandmother before me. The school has a performance department with a century of tradition."

"I'm going to enrol too!" Rui, in fact, had never given a moment's thought to what high school she would attend. 

Tamao didn't question Rui's declaration, nor her transparent motivation. "I'm glad to hear it. Not enough people these days respect traditional arts." She smiled. "Maybe it was fate that we met today, Akikaze-san."

"Y-you don't need to speak so formally to me, Tomoe-senpai," Rui stuttered. Being referred to so stiffly made her feel odd for some reason. She wanted the two of them to become... closer. "You can call me by my first name. If you want to, I mean."

"Of course, Rui-chan. But if we're going to be friends, you'll have to return the favour." The corner of her mouth turned up into a sly smirk.

Rui blushed. Friends. Yes. That was good. Great. Fantastic. "If you say so, T-Tamao-senpai."

Three Years Later...

"Awwww! Baby Rui was so cute!" Ichie squealed. "She was still taller than her senpai even back then."

During a lunchtime picnic out on the school grounds, Fumi had idly expressed curiosity as to how Rui and Tamao had become friends in middle school. Tamao related her side of the story, embellishing Rui's "gallant rescue" of her from the gnashing teeth of a stuck zipper. She pulled out her cell phone and showed the group a picture of herself and the drama club's newest member, visibly flustered by her senpai's hand on her arm.

"Rui-chan has grown a lot," Tamao said with a smile. "She's changed so much in three years, but she's always been a talented, beautiful young woman."

"Three years, huh?" Fumi looked to Rui with pity.

"Let's see more," Yuyuko said with a devilish grin, no doubt hoping for something she could tease Rui with. She scrolled through Tamao's photos, revealing a seemingly limitless supply of pictures featuring Rui.

"...that's a lot of pictures of Rui," Fumi noted.

"We made a lot of memories together," Tamao said with a smile.

"I don't remember that!" Rui yelped, blushing up a storm. Displayed on Tamao's phone was a selfie that she had taken with Rui's head resting on her shoulder. She appeared to be asleep, and Tamao held a finger to her own lips in a shushing gesture. 

"That's pretty shady, Tamao-senpai," Yuyuko cackled.

"Is it a crime for me to keep pictures of my number one fan?" Tamao's subtle, sly smirk had lost none of its power of Rui.

[peraltasames]

darkness will be rewritten into a work of fiction

in which almost going to jail in the finale sparks some fears in amy about their future as a family

for @fourdrinkamy bc emma requested some sweet hurt/comfort and she’s gonna crush all her exams like the badass Intellectual Woman she is (jake peralta believes in u and so do i) 💖💖💖

Amy’s familiar with most, if not all, of her husband’s facial expressions a year into their marriage.

She can tell when he’s pissed, when he’s disappointed, when he’s happy, when he’s nervous; more impressively, she can narrow it down to incredibly specific facial expressions like his I Just Solved a Case and I’m About to Brag About It All Day look and his Exhausted and Wanting To Cuddle On The Couch While We Watch Die Hard look.

It only takes her a few sideways glances in the cab ride home from the 86th precinct for her to identify his Something Is Definitely Up With You and We’re Gonna Talk About it When We Get Home face, which tends to make an appearance whenever something is bothering her (not unlike right now) - for all the credit she gives herself for knowing Jake inside and out, he knows her just as well.

His worry is even more thinly veiled than normal - sometimes he tries to coax it out of her gradually, but the moment they’ve stepped across the threshold and slipped off their shoes, he’s wrapping his arms around her from behind and murmuring in her ear: “What’s wrong, babe?”

She turns in his arms, letting his hands fall on her waist and reaching up to rest hers on his shoulders. Before she can process her thoughts enough to voice them, she needs just a moment to unwind from the stress of the day in the sanctuary of his arms.

“If this is about me not telling you the whole plan - I’m really sorry,” Jake adds before she gets the chance to speak, his brows furrowed. “Maybe I should have, but I was so worried about Holt finding out or the operation getting blown somehow and I just couldn’t risk it.”

“No, no, it’s not that,” she murmurs, hands running up and down his arms as a natural response to his rising concern. “I understand.”

Jake frowns and grabs her hand to lead her to the couch a few feet away, motioning for her to sit down next to him and lifting her legs over his lap so he can rub circles on her shin. He props his head up with his other arm on the back of the couch and tilts his head to face her, offering a small smile of encouragement for her to open up.

“Talk to me, babe.”

She sighs, avoiding his knowing gaze and playing with the hem of her sweater.

“I don’t blame you for not filling me in, but being in a jail cell - seeing you in a jail cell, going off to be interrogated again - that was-” She can already feel tears welling up in her eyes at the mere thought of him going to prison again, and she curses herself for her inability to not completely come undone whenever he talks to her like this, looks at her like that. “It was just a lot-”

He breathes out a soft “Ames,” and his voice is somehow infinitely softer than before. Of course his thoughts didn’t go to such a dark place - surely they would have, had it been a real possibility that he was going back to jail - and she can’t blame him for not considering the effects the plan may have on her emotions when he was so focused on making sure it went off without a hitch.

“I know it was all part of the plan, and you’re not actually going back to prison today-”

“Not ever,” Jake interjects, his eyes glistening with warmth and assurance. It’s not the first time he’s promised this - similar fears resurface in her nightmares and whenever someone brings up his and Rosa’s incarceration.

“Not ever,” she repeats, reaching to grab his hand. “But as long as we keep doing this…you know, fighting for the greater good and trying to be the good cops, we’re always gonna be crossing people. Bad people.”

“That doesn’t mean that more bad stuff is gonna happen to us.”

“What if it does?” she snaps back, squeezing his hand in silent apology after Jake winces. “What if we both get sent to prison? Or-or worse? What would happen to our-”

She doesn’t need to finish the sentence before his eyes flicker with understanding and more involuntary tears begin to pour down her face, ones that she doesn’t try to hide. It’s like they both realize what’s really bothering her in the same fraction of a second.

They decided to start trying for kids four days ago.

It was before the latest drama with Kelly began, before they assembled their own “suicide squad’, before any threats of going to jail or losing their jobs had arisen. During a normal Friday night in front of the TV and a pile of Thai takeout, Jake looked over at her and proudly proclaimed that he was ready.

(And maybe she thought he meant he was ready for sex and straddled him in the middle of Jeopardy while he struggled to pull away long enough to explain that he meant to have kids, but it was a good moment nonetheless.)

“C’mere, honey,” he mumbles, already pulling her into his lap and cradling her to his chest. Her face moves to the crook of his neck while she cries, finally releasing hours worth of pent-up anxiety. “It’s okay.”

He strokes her back and presses kisses to her hairline for a few minutes, each soft touch marginally regulating her heart rate and stopping her panicked tears from falling harder.

“Everything’s gonna be fine,” Jake whispers against her forehead. “We always figure it out, right? We caught Figgis, you guys busted Hawkins, now John Kelly’s gonna get fired. The good guys win, babe.”

He’s not wrong - there hasn’t yet been an obstacle that they haven’t found a way to overcome. Even when things seemed particularly dire, they managed to pull through. She doesn’t really have any reason to believe that that won’t continue to be the case.

“It’s still terrifying. We’re gonna be bringing another person into this world, Jake, and we literally see the worst of humanity every single day.”

“Exactly.” He brings her chin up to look at him and presses a quick peck to her nose, smiling softly as he pulls back. “We’ve been through all this and we still have enough hope and love to want to have a child together. Isn’t that kind of beautiful?”

She melts under his soft gaze, reaching up to gently play with the curls above his forehead and smiling fondly. His enthusiasm to have children together has increased substantially to match hers since their debate in the hospital, and it makes her heart swell with joy and excitement.

“Since when did you get so wise?”

“I’ve learned a lot against my will from all the NPR you listen to,” he teases, playfully poking at her ribs while she lets out a soft laugh.

It’s also kind of beautiful, she thinks, that her husband’s ability to make her laugh even at her worst moments as A) never wavered and B) been the number one thing she loves about him from their first date to their first anniversary of marriage.

“That’s my girl.” He gently, lovingly brushes the tears away from her cheeks with both thumbs. “Do you want me to go pick up some empanadas?”

The fact that he’s willing to drive to Queens right now to get her favourite comfort food from her favourite restaurant that doesn’t deliver almost makes her cry again, but she simply shakes her head and grabs his hand.

“Let’s just order pizza from somewhere close,” she suggests. “The sooner we eat, the sooner we can get back to-”

“Trying to procreate?”

“I was gonna say baby-making, you’ve really matured from all that NPR!”

She says it like a win, but he shakes his head and winces like a toddler being offered vegetables (or Jake being offered vegetables - she’s gonna have to work on her husband’s diet a little more before they have to deal with an actual child).

“I’m gonna have to make so many dumb sex jokes to make up for all that maturity.”

(He does not disappoint, in any manner, that evening.)

[darling-clemmy]

Queen of Diamonds (ClemxLouis Fanfiction)

Summary: During a simple card game, Clem and Louis get a whole lot more than they bargained for. Requested by Anon💕. (Everyone is alive and Clem and Louis aren’t together yet.)

Word Count: 1,719 words

Genre: Fluff

Warnings: Underaged drinking

A/N: I’m not super proud of this fic, but nonetheless, I wrote it, so I’m posting it. I hope you enjoy :))

“Okay, everyone! Everything is all set!”

The short redhead trotted back into the main building after catching everyone in the courtyard’s attention. It was a cool late spring night, and the green buds on the oaks had just blossomed into delicate leaves. Taking advantage of the nice night, the kids decided to hang outside, but Ruby (and Violet since she got cold easily) had another idea: to have another hootenanny in the music room.

AJ, Tenn, and Willy had decided on their own accord to have a party of their own, away from all of the older kids. Although Clem, Violet, and Mitch had all loved their respective kids endlessly, they appreciated the fact that they’d be getting some free time away from them. The absence of the younger boys also allowed for the teenagers to be, well, teenagers. This was also promised in two bottles of beer that Marlon and Mitch had found on a supply run not too long ago.

The group made their way up to the music room, now basked in the glow of red candlelight and the crescent moon in the sky. Soft upbeat instrumental music vibrated from the record player, filling the room with a sense that maybe the world hadn’t entirely gone to shit. Louis quickly identified the genre as country, to which he pestered Ruby about, knowing she chose it. She didn’t pay him or his cruel words toward the music any mind, and refused to put on a classical vinyl.

After groaning in dramatic agony, Louis changed the topic. “Seeing as there isn’t much else to do, how about a game?”

The idea excited Clem, as she always enjoyed playing Louis’ silly lighthearted card games. It gave her a sense of peace, of joy, for a few minutes in the midst of living among the animated dead and the cruel living. Even if it was just the two of them playing, it made her feel happy. Actually, especially if it was just the two of them playing.

“Oh, my god, really? We have a party and we still have to play one of your stupid card games?” Brody whined, already reaching for one of the glass bottles in the middle of the circle they were all sat in.

Louis swatted her hand away. “Hold on. How about we compromise?”

Brody raised her eyebrow. “Compromise?”

Clem could see Marlon smirking, looking between his best friend and his suspected girlfriend.

“Yeah. How about we play truth or dare, but with a twist. Whoever has to answer or do, has to also take a drink.” Louis explained, not waiting for a response before passing out small decks of cards. “You all know the rules—highest card asks, lowest card does.”

“Fine, I guess I’ll play. Only for a little, though,” Brody sighed.

“I’m surprised you caved in so easily.” Marlon teased while everyone else grabbed their cards, earning him a scowl from the girl.

For the first round, Clementine got the lowest with a two of hearts, while Mitch got the highest with a king of spades. Clem looked up, meeting the mischievous eyes of the boy across the circle from her.

“Huh, look at that, I win,” he brags. “How about a truth?”

Clem shrugged silently before sliding a beer over into her lap. Not bothering to read the label, she pryed the cap off and took a quick sip. She already knew she wouldn’t like the feeling of drunkenness or the taste of the alcohol. Her face stayed moderately straight at the bitter taste, not wanting anyone to taunt her.

“What’s the farthest you’ve gone with a guy?” He asked as simply as asking her favorite color.

At his words, Clem blushes instantly, embarrassed at both her truthful answer—not having done anything at all—and how she’d have to admit it in front of Louis. Would he think she was boring? A prude? She had never really talked to him about his past relationships before she arrived at Ericson a few months ago. How far had he gone?

“That’s a gross thing to ask, Mitch,” Ruby chastised.

Noticing her silence, Violet spoke up, too. “You don’t have to answer that, Clem.”

“No, it’s okay.” Clementine replied, pushing away her thoughts. “I haven’t done anything, really.”

“Really? Nothing at all?” Mitch pressed, not so sneakily glancing between her and the dark boy beside her.

Louis noticed this. “What are you insinuating, dude? She answered the question, leave it be.”

The tall boy rolled his eyes in response and grumbled something under his breath. As everyone else began to move onto the next round, reaching for new cards, Clementine looked over to Louis, giving him an appreciative smile. He smiled back, sending over a discreet wink, too, burning up her just cooled down face once again.

In the second round, Aasim got the high card and Violet got the low.

Violet’s face fell into an anxious expression. “I hope everyone is okay with me, like, not drinking. It just doesn’t really have a great history in my family, if you know what I mean.”

Everybody sincerely understood and nodded quietly. They had all been through their fair share of trauma, and Violet’s just so happened to be related to the addictive liquid. What kind of friends would they be if they pushed something like that on her?

“How about a dare,” Aasim decided, thinking for a few moments before speaking again. “Tell anyone in this room something you’ve wanted to tell them for a while, but don’t say their name.”

“What kind of dare is that?” Marlon ridiculed, to which Brody lightly jabbed him in the bicep, telling him to shush.

“Ah, shit, okay,” Violet whispered. She took a deep breath, “I really—“ she paused before her face hardened and she stated, “You’re a huge dumbass.”

“C’mon Vi, we all know that’s directed at Louis,” Aasim replied.

They all began to laugh, yet Clem remained quiet, especially once she saw Louis’ solemn face. His usual starry, hopeful eyes were fixated on the wooden floor. His bottom lip was puckered out, something he instinctively did when his hands cramped up when playing the piano, when Marlon hit him in the arm a little too hard, when AJ mentioned some scary story from before him and Clem had arrived at the school. Louis made this face when he was sad, and Clementine didn’t like it one bit.

Before she could say anything, the group silenced and continued playing. They reached for new cards and Brody drank a long swig, claiming it was in place of Violet’s. Louis looked up and met Clem’s staring eyes for a moment before she looked away, embarrassed.

A chorus of “oo’s” echoed as it was realized that the apparent king of games had the lowest card. A three of clovers.

Mitch had the highest once again. A queen of diamonds.

He’s probably cheating somehow, Clementine thought to herself.

“Now I’ve beat both of the lovebirds,” he teased, smirking.

“Do you ever stop, Mitch?” Ruby scowled.

Ignoring the upset redhead, he kept his blue eyes on the boy with dreads. “I dare you to give Clem a kiss.”

“The most legitimate of dares,” Aasim mimicked, referring back to a card game a few months back where Clem dared him to kiss Ruby.

Clementine went red, a hot prickling sensation moving across her torso, up her neck, and to her face. Of course she’d like to kiss her long-time crush, but in front of most all of the other kids? That just seemed to suck all of the giddiness and magic out of it.

“I’m not doing that if she doesn’t want to.” Louis refused, squinting his eyes at the group before widening them at the sight of the girl avoiding eye contact with everyone else. His voice lowered. “Do you want to?”

She had felt nervous before, of course—the first time she walked through a herd, when she thought AJ was dead after he was first born, when she read a poem aloud to her kindergarten class. This was different, though. Very different.

Clementine knawed on the inside of her cheek. She looked around the room from the foggy windows to Brody and Marlon sharing the bottle of beer to the mahogany piano to Louis’ impending stare. After squeezing her eyes shut to clear them of the blurriness, she opened her mouth to speak.

“I don’t know,” she choked out.

Louis’ eyes softened more, if that was even possible. Yet, at the same time, there was still a flicker of disappointment in them. “That’s okay, Clem. We don’t have to.”

She exhaled shakily before jumping to her feet and pacing out of the room. It was all too awkward. Too embarrassing. She was angry at herself and Mitch and the fact that her head still felt heavy despite her not drinking much.

Before she could open her bedroom door, she felt a heavy hand grab her shoulder. She turned and was met with a pair of dark, kind eyes.

“Louis,” she sighed. “I-I’m sorry for walking out like that.”

“It’s okay, Clem. I just wanted to make sure you were alright.” Louis said, reaching his hand up to touch his neck.

She leaned back against the door. “Yeah, yeah, I’m fine. Embarrassed, but fine.”

“Mitch was being an ass. You don’t have to be embarrassed,” he comforted, moving his hand out to clasp her’s.

Clementine gasped softly at how warm and coarse his palms were. Still, she didn’t pull away.

The teenagers’ eyes traveled from their entwined fingers to each other’s faces. The hallway was dark, with the only light radiating from the shadows of the moon and stars. Despite that, Clementine was able to see each and every freckle dusted across his nose, his chapped lips, the barely noticeable dimple on his left cheek. All of these features on top of Clem’s already instense attraction to him resulted in a surge of bravery.

Standing up on her tiptoes, she kissed him. It was sweet and gentle and somehow even better than how Clem had rehearsed it in her head millions of times.

She pulled away, just enough to where their lips still brushed over each other.

Louis chuckled ecstatically. “What was that for?”

Clementine grinned. “I think I owed you a dare.”

[puckyou-forpuckssake]

Dadcapades (1)—N. MacKinnon

No warning. This is requested and dedicated to the awesome @pucksandpoutines This is going to be a series that can be found under the tag #dadcapades in my blog. Find my other imagines in my blog with my master list and #hockeyimagines.

“I’m pregnant.”

Nate didn’t know whether he wanted to cry tears of joy or crawl in a ball in the corner and cry tears of “what the fuck have I done.” He smiled and hugged his wife. She laughed.

“Four under six. I wasn’t expecting that either. Maybe that’ll teach you to hold back on the strawberry daiquiris at that resort in Cabo,” Y/N, his wife, chuckled, patting him on the chest. “I’m going to go check on Celeste and Gabi. They should be waking up from their naps soon. Can you please check on Sidney? He should be still watching Paw Patrol in the living with room with Mikko.”

Y/N got up to walk out of their bedroom. “And Nate, you haven’t made any other bets about naming our children, have you?”

Nate shook his head. “Not that I can think of. No promises though.”

Y/N sighed, but a smile graced her face. She walked out. Nate headed towards the living room and the sound of Paw Patrol. He found his son Sidney laying on the couch eating goldfish and watching the show. His head laid on the stomach of their dog Mikko.

“Hey Sid,” Nate greeted and sat on the ground by his son. “How’s Paw Patrol?”

The little boy shrugged and shoved some more goldfish into his mouth. His dirty blond hair stuck up everywhere. Sidney still hadn’t changed out of his pajamas of an Avs t-shirt with MacKinnon on the back and Penguins pajama pants, a gift from his godfather and namesake.

Nate wracked through his mind if he had made any recent bets with anyone. At an Avalanche Casino Night, Nate played Mikko Rantanen in Blackjack. He lost and had to name his new puppy Mikko instead of Rocco. Y/N admitted she liked the name Mikko more anyway. The bet with Sidney was stupid. During one of the many Tim Horton’s commercials they had partnered together for, Nate bet that he could fit more Timbits in his mouth without swallowing than Sidney could. Who knew the Kid had chubby chipmunk cheeks and could fit a lot of Timbits in his mouth. He requested that the first MacKinnon child be named Sidney. The Godfather position was all Y/N’s idea. Gabe and Nate were messing around before All Star weekend once. They were the ones representing the Avs, and the team thought it would be fun to have their own little skills completion. It was fun for everyone, but Gabe won the most events and demanded that the next MacKinnon child (Y/N was pregnant at the time) be named after him. He had been jealous that Sidney got honored before him. Having Gabriel changed to Gabrielle did not bother him in the slightest. He seemed to like it even more. Celeste was Y/N’s pick. There was no bet for that one, or maybe there was but Y/N put her foot down. She wanted one child with a name somebody couldn’t use to brag about.

“Dad, I think mommy is sick,” Sidney told him.

“Why do you say that, Sid?”

“I’ve heard her puking in the mornings,” he explained. “Sick people puke.”

Nate chuckled. “You wanna know a secret, buddy?” Sidney anxiously nodded. “Mommy’s going to have a baby. You’re going to be a big brother again.”

Sidney’s mouth dropped. “You’re having a baby mommy!”

Nate turned around to see Y/N walking in cradling Celeste. Gabi trailed behind her with her stuffed Bernie the St. Bernard in hand. “Mommy have baby?” She asked. “I be a big sissy again?”

Y/N gave Nate a look but nodded. He shrugged. How could he not share such exciting news. “Celeste is running a fever. I know it’s the first day of practice but can you please take Sidney and Gabi with you? I just can’t deal with all three of them right now.”

He saw how pale she was and nodded. She deserved a technical day off. He experienced how much of a terror the two little heathens he called his children truly were. Bless her for putting up with them. “Of course I’ll take my little munchkins with me. Go get dressed you two.”

Sidney hopped off the couch and ran upstairs. Gabi trailed behind him. Y/N handed Celeste to Nate so she could make her a bottle. “Do you truly believe anything good will come out of letting a 3 and 5 year old dress themselves?” She asked.

Nate shrugged as he rubbed Celeste’s back. The baby kept fidgeting and whimpering. Nate felt bad for his daughter’s pain. “Arguing with those two is pointless. It’s just hockey practice too.”

“I know,” Y/N sighed and took Celeste back. “I’m just feeling a little stressed, and I feel bad having you deal with them on the first day which is always busy and stressful for you.”

“Y/N, it’s fine,” Nate reassured her. “You know I’ll spend any time with the kids as possible. You just need to rest, as does Celeste. Sidney, Gabi, and I will be fine today. Don’t worry about us.”

“I’ll try, but I can’t help it,” she grinned. “You MacKinnons are trouble.”

Nate chuckled and kissed his wife. “And that’s why you’re a MacKinnon too. I love you.”

“Love you too,” she mumbled against his lips.

Nate grabbed his bag and stood at the bottom of the stairs. “Sid, Gabi! It’s practice time!”

————————

“Pregnant?” Gabe questioned. “Did I hear you correctly? You knocked your wife up again?”

Nate rolled his eyes and continued lacing his skates up. “Well I think it’s better knocking my wife up than a random chick. I don’t want to talk like this with my kids around.”

“Where is the angel and devil in my life?”

Nate chuckled. “They’re both little devils if you ask me. Gabi should be out on the bench with all of her stuff she has to bring everywhere. Sidney should be out on the ice with Mikko.”

“Should be? Nate, shouldn’t you know where your children are at?”

“You’ll understand when you and Mel have kids someday,” Nate chuckled. “Kids run your lives.”

“Mel and I are thinking about adopting since nothing has worked so far.”

“You know, I’m always down to give you my kids for a weekend,” Nate smiled. Gabe shoved him. “Seriously though. It would be good practice for you two, and it would also let Y/N and I have a night to ourselves.”

Gabe nodded. “I’ll have to talk to Mel about it. I’m sure she’ll be okay with it. Plus, it just gives me more time to spend with my little Gabrielle.”

Gabe happened to say this as they exited the tunnel right next to the bench where Gabi was situated with her Bernie and a coloring book and crayons. The thought had crossed his and his wife’s minds to get an iPad to entertain their young children, but they both remembered being kids and doing just fine without. Crayons suited Gabi just fine and Sidney was old enough now to, more or less, participate in practice with the Avs.

“Gabe!” Gabi squealed. She ran quickly towards the Swede. Gabe picked up the little curly blond 3 year old.

“Hello my little twin,” Gabe greeted. “I see you came to work with your daddy today.”

Gabi nodded. “Mommy sick because of new baby. Celly not feel good either. So Nee and I come with daddy.”

“How fun! Have the other guys come and said hi to you and Sidney?”

Gabi nodded. “Josty and Barrie came by and pat my head. JT gave me high five. The other guys bumped my fist. Mikko gave me a big hug before he go skate with Nee.”

“Daddy and I have to go practice now,” Gabe told Gabi. “Why don’t you, while we practice, draw some pictures for all of us. We can then hang them in our stalls.”

Gabi squealed and ran back to her spot. Nate looked out and saw Sidney on the ice with Mikko.

“Sidney!” Nate shouted. His son turned toward him. “Come sit with your sister while we warm up.”

“No Dad!” Sidney screamed. Mikko grabbed the oldest MacKinnon. “Mikko no!”

“We got to do our job right now, little Mac,” Mikko explained. “After warm ups and going over some things, maybe Coach will let you help out; however, you need to be a good boy. Got that little Mac?”

Sidney nodded as Mikko sat him next to his sister, who was very occupied in coloring. “Thank you so much, Mikko,” Nate said as the linesmen skated around. “Also thank god Crosby isn’t here to see that he likes you more than him.”

Mikko chuckled. “I’ll remember to chirp him about that. I don’t understand how you and Y/N do it with 3 kids. I could barely handle that 5 minutes alone with him.”

Gabe chuckled. “Nate didn’t tell you? Y/N is pregnant again.”

Mikko gasped. “Damn, Big Mac. Do you not know what restraint is? Or maybe a condom or some other form of birth control?”

Nate shoved Mikko into the boards playfully. “Congrats though man. Do you know when?”

“We went to Cabo to celebrate our fifth anniversary. We went to this really fancy restaurant one night and then to the beach bar where we drank way too many strawberry daiquiris,” Nate explained. Mikko gagged. “Oh you meant when Y/N is due. If I’m doing my math right, it should be about April.”

On the opposite side of the rink, Coach blew the whistle to call all of the guys in. Nate was happy that this talk could end now. He glanced over at his two kids. Gabi was still coloring and Sidney was watching them intently on the ice. He hadn’t taken his helmet or gloves off yet. Nate loved all of his children and was excited for the next one, but 4 under 5 was never what he had expected in life. Celeste was supposed to be their last, and technically so was Gabi. None of this meant Nate wasn’t happy. Again, he was ecstatic. It was the same feeling as the previous 3, but it was also the same fear and nerves. He felt even more scared than he did with Sidney, Gabi, and Celeste, and it honestly had to do with the thought of Y/N going through the next eight months. She had troubles towards the end with Gabi. Celeste had been a huge surprise and difficult as well. This baby was a miracle and Nate knew it was going to come at a price.

————

Or perhaps Gabi was the reason Nate feared another child. The 3 year old had more sass than the whole team combined, and Nate gave credit to her mother for that. As each guy got off the ice, Gabi handed them each a drawing, some more offensive than others. “This is you with a bunch of berries,” she said when she handed Tyson Barrie his. “And they’re all female ones too! Because I know you love the ladies but can’t get any.”

“You’re in pink, Josty!” She pointed as she hand him his. “Cuz that’s what they wear in Mean Girls. And it has you with you mom and sister and grandpa.”

“JT, this is you with a big American flag and a bald eagle and bunch of friends for you.”

“EJ, this is you with a bunch of horses because you love them so much. They have no teeth just like you.”

“Z, this is a picture of you and a pet zebra.”

“Soda gets a bunch of sodas.”

“Sven, this is you in penalty box.”

“You’re on a beach in this Nietsy!”

And so on it went until it was just Gabe, Mikko, and Nate left. She handed Mikko his first. “This is you with Nee. You fell down. Gabe, that’s you and me. We wear crowns and have lots of pancakes. Daddy, that’s you and me and Nee and Cel and Mommy and new baby and Mikko.”

“Your daughter is a savage,” Tyson Barrie said to Nate when he entered the locker room. “Savage.”

Nate chuckled. “She’s quite the 3 year old.”

“I heard you’re having another one,” Nikita mentioned. “Congrats man.”

“Another one!” The Tysons squealed. “We called it!”

“We told you, Nate,” Jost grinned. “We told you when Celly was born that you’d have another kid.”

“You said that if that ever happened we’d get to name it,” Barrie added.

“Tell Y/N we can’t wait to meet Tyson.”

Gabe busted out laughing. “You’re fucked, Nate.”

“Dad, what does that mean?” Sidney asked.

“Fucked!” Gabi yelled and clapped her hands.

“Y/N is going to be so pissed,” Nate grumbled.

[transboygenius]

SE4SON: Chapter 23 (Finale)

[*After the explosion*]

The barricade was gone, the hellish atmosphere was gone, and most importantly, the king was gone. Everything looked so clear, so beautiful. With those walls no longer imprisoning them, the citizens felt as free as escaped caged animals. King Jason was no more. The only thing left of him was a pile of glitter, and his giant crown. The whole village was a mess, not to mention half destroyed, but at least they are now free from that tyrant. All thanks to two young heroes. With all that junk scattered around, it attracted some thieves. Some green hooded thieves.

"Hey guys! Look! Free loot!" "WOO HOOOO!"

While the green hoods collected as much as they could carry, the peasants went to explore the giant crown further, with the Faithful Five (plus Sally) up front. Diana lifted the crown, then threw it into the distance. Jimmy and Nick had been under the crown, hugging each other with their eyes shut tight. Jimmy? Nick? The two boys reopened their eyes after they heard their names. The boys looked at one another, seeing how closely they're holding each other in their arms. Nick even lifted his visor to get a clear look. The two boys eventually broke the hug slowly, while blushing and grinning. As for the amulet, it shrunk back to its normal size again. Rodent Girl snatched the jewel, then wore it around her neck.

"Give me an entire empire made of cheddar! Oh, with a swiss fondue maker! No! Ehhhhhh, let's see... A fondue fountain! Yeah!"

Everyone stood in silence for 30 minutes, as nothing happened.

"WHERE'S MY CHEDDAR EMPIRE?!" Whined Rodent Girl. "Well, I say about all of the amulet's powers have been drained. Probably best for all of us!" Replied Jimmy. "Except me."

Furious, Rodent Girl threw the amulet on the ground. Because Jimmy and Nick touched upon the Amulet Of Bind to save everyone, the jewel then shut off from its magic for good, to make sure evil never lays their paws on it again. However, that doesn't mean there isn't any good use for it. Jimmy decided to keep the amulet. Although its useless without its powers, it still looks pretty nice. Speaking of bind, the boy genius recalled Nick wanted to tell him something earlier.

"You were saying..." Quote Jimmy. "Hmm?" Questioned Nick. "I didn't quite catch that back there. You mentioned you had something to tell me." "Oh. That. *Ahem* What I meant to say... *Sigh* ...I'm ready to call in quits." "'Excuse me?" "I mean, being popular and all that. Obnoxious girls breathing my air. Breaking my leg so many times at the dumbest risks. You're right! It's not worth it! And I don't even care what the other kids will think of me anymore! So, if that position for a new friend is still open, I'd be happy to fill in."

Nick offered Jimmy his hand, and the two shook on it. The boy genius was moved. He knew Nick would say yes eventually. In truth, Nick was gonna tell him how he really felt, but that was because he thought saving the town meant sacrificing their lives. Now, here they are in one piece. Besides, Nick doesn't find it appropriate to confess right now. Jimmy just got over a breakup, and they've only been close for about a week. Perhaps they shouldn't rush things. Someday, maybe Nick will come out with the truth.

"Soooooo, no more king. Now what?" Asked Diana. "I think you'd be perfect for royalty, Diana! We haven't had a queen around here in so long!" Suggested Mitzi. "Woah woah woah! Don't be too hasty! You can't just decide a king or a queen! Shouldn't we take a vote?" "I'd vote for you!" "Yeah, I'd vote for the big lady, too!" Screamed a random peasant. "Me three!" Then another. "BIG LADY FOR QUEEN!" And another.

The voting spreaded like wild fire. The entire village pumped their fists into the air, repeatedly chanting "Big Lady!" Everyone was doing it. Sally, the rest of the Faithful Five, Albert holding up his prosthetic arm, even Jimmy and Nick. The only ones that didn't vote were the uppity, higher class citizens. At long last, Diana had accepted their votes as a landslide.

"Alright! I'll be queen, then!"

The peasants were so joyed, they tossed their hats up. They even gave her a new robe, mace, and crown. Diana was quite flattered, yet somewhat embarrassed, by this gesture.

"And what's a queen without her very own chancellor?"

Diana pointed at her friend, Mitzi. The woman was blessed, and speechless. The two hugged things out, while the peasants cheered.

"HOLD IT! HOLD IT! What about me?" Asked Richard. "What about you, fink?" Replied Diana. "Yeah, FINK!" Spat Mitzi. "Well, I know that me, you, and all your friends have got off on the wrong side of the shoe, but... ...you need me more than you think! You need experience to rule a kingdom! How will you know how to handle the money carefully? Taking charge requires steps from A to Z! And besides, I really need a new job. My wife's going to be very disappointed in me. Mother, too. Please, your new greatness!" "Sorry, sir! You're looking at the new, bonafide chancellor, right here!" Bragged Mitzi. "Wait a moment. *Starts thinking* Hmmmmmmm.... As much as it pains me to help an old friend of Jason, I could use the experience. I'll tell you what: You could work part-time as my personal tutor! You teach me the supremacy of royalty, and you'll get a payment of your usual salary! (As soon as I find where Jason keeps all his money)" Said Diana. "Oh, bless you! Bless you!" Bowed Richard. "And if you want a Christmas bonus and paid vacation time, you could work fulltime cleaning up Butterscotch's new stables!" "Bless you- What?"

After that, Diana announced the new rules. Prices will be dropped. Everyone is now free to do whatever they please, unless it's gonna be problematic. The citizens will get equal amounts of earnings. Classes will no longer be divided. The higher class can go beat it! ...after they clean up the mess. And no more hangings. Just then, the people heard thunder roaring. The clouds turned gray, and it started to rain. The silver paint washed off of Nick's armor. All I had to do was add water?! At last, Sally then witnessed what Jimmy and Nick have been trying to tell her. The real Silver Knight's armor coat was never painted on. It was crafted from genuine, shiny silver metal.

"Y-you mean to tell me... ...th-that's not genuine silver?" Stuttered Sally. "Sure looks like it." Said Nick. "Uhhhhhhhhhhh, how embarrassing!! I thought I was chasing after two legends from the past, but instead all I've done is pester some commoner kids!" "I'm sorry, Sally. We did try to tell you." Replied Jimmy. "Yeah. Guess this is all on me. Sorry for all the trouble." "Hey, lighten up, kiddo! We still had loads a fun! We had dinner with a tyrant, escaped from prison, and even slayed a monster! Plus, you made a new family out of this!" Quote Nick.

Sally did a little thinking on it. From all the exciting tales her father used to tell her, she was eager to meet this heroic pair. The Wise Wizard and Silver Knight would save them from their misery. Then ever since her parents got hanged by the king, Sally was hoping to fulfill her father's dream of finding the old legends, and then making them her parents. Not because of what awesome dads they'd make, which is mighty true, but it's what her father wanted when he was her age. Sally looked at the painted picture for a moment. Although, she never found the legendary Wise Wizard and Silver Knight, she yet made an amazing new family, and the two boys did save the town regardless of them being some mere commoner children.

"I suppose you're right. I mean, you two aren't exactly legends, but you're still great guys. Thank you so much for saving AppleSmoked Wood." Sally thanked. "Who's that?" Asked Nick. "The town we live in." "Ohhhhhhhhhhh. So that is the town's name! AppleSmoked Wood! To think: We've been living here for over a week, and haven't figured out the name of the village we're living in." "How sad it is." Said Jimmy. "Why?" "We just got to know the town's name, but under weather circumstances, looks like we'll be leaving sometime soon."

.................................

[*Elsewhere*]

The whole squad walked back to the ranch. Actually, Butterscotch gave Jimmy and Nick a ride on his back, since they are the heroes. Now that Diana is the new queen, they might as well say goodbye to their old hut, and give the animals a new home at the castle. There were quite a lot of struggles that took place at this ranch, but at least they had some happy memories. Speaking of animals, the hens' eggs have now hatched, with a total litter of 500 chicks. Diana and Mitzi helped the two boys out of their costumes. After that, they delivered a goodbye to each member of the Faithful Five, including Sally.

"Diana; As the new queen of AppleSmoked Wood, promise me you'll do a good job. I know you can. And word of advice: Don't let power get to your head. Trust me, I've been there. Mitzi; You're a good person, but remember to learn somebody's background before you judge. Benson; No more eavesdropping, please." Said Jimmy. "Rodent Girl; Now that you're living royalty, you probably have a better chance of making new friends now! Human friends, that is. But bear one thing in mind: Don't make them like you for your fame! Make them like you for who you are! Sally; You must be the luckiest kid in the world. You have a new family, a big new home, and you're friends with the town's newest heroes! Butterscotch; God I wish I could take a picture right now. A real-life unicorn." Said Nick.

Everyone started to cry. Rodent Girl began wailing, and blew her nose into Benson's apron. Despite their time machine being on the roof, Diana managed to get the boys up there. She just threw them up on the roof. After that, Jimmy and Nick hurried inside. Jimmy released the kite for flight, and the last thing they need is a bolt of lightning. Living their remaining minutes, the two boys continued to wave and say goodbye, while they wait for electricity to strike.

"WHEN YOU DO RETURN, SHOW US HOW TO MAKE PIZZA, NICK!" Screamed Rodent Girl.

The goodbying went on for about 12 minutes. Jimmy and Nick's arms were getting tired from waving, and so were the squad's. Butterscotch was starting to fall asleep. Their luck went out the window as the rain then stopped.

"Well, we'll be staying here for awhil-"

Suddenly, a bolt of lightning hit the kite, followed down the wire, then powered the machine. In just a flash, the boys were now gone. Diana saluted a farewell to them.

.............................

[*Back in the modern era*]

The whole gang has now tired themselves out, and decided to take breaks. Putting together this time machine is not as easy as riding a bike. Sheen and Libby were tired as well, even though they did absolutely nothing. Judy, while exhausted, continued to force herself to work. Carl was the only one who hasn't fallen under exhaustion. The allergy boy came to Judy's aid, and gave her a shoulder massage.

"Mrs. Neutron, I think you ought to take a break." Said Carl. "No... My baby... My baby... Jamie... Jimmy..." Replied Judy. "Who's Jamie?"

Carl then dragged her away from the machine, and offered her a pillow to rest on. Hugh was quite envied. Where's MY pillow? The allergy boy looked at the time machine. The gang deserves a power rest, but he wants Jimmy to come home now. Trying to be a good friend, he decided to bring Jimmy here himself. But how's he gonna do that? He put on his cape, hat, and took out his magic want.

"Carl, we're already tired enough! Don't bore us to sleep!" Said Sheen.

Carl didn't listen. He's no expert, but it's worth a shot. This may be a good chance to impress Judy, too. He wielded his magic wand, and spoke his own made up words. Sheen just rolled his eyes. He walked up to his friend to talk him out of it, just to save him any humiliation.

"Kibbidy-do! Kibbidy-dome! Please bring my best friend Jimmy back home!" Chanted Carl. "I know kids have said this to you very often, but, you kinda look ridiculous. No offense, though!" Sheen tried to argue. "Kibbidy-do! Kibbidy-dome! Please bring my best friend Jimmy back home!" "Could we at least phone a real professional? Like Houdini? Or Blackstone? Or that wizardy guy from the animated short film starring the mouse?" "KIBBIDY-DO! KIBBIDY-DOME! PLEASE BRING MY BEST FRIEND JIMMY NEUTRON BACK HOME!"

Suddenly, a bright light and loud BANG took place. It drew in the whole squad's attention. Carl was in shock, and Sheen was too. The allergy boy gazed at his wand. He probably needed to throw in all the strength he had. As the brightness cleared, Jimmy and Nick stood in place, handcuffed like they were to begin with. The two boys grinned and greeted their old friends and family.

"JAMES!" Judy screamed. "NICHOLAS!" Also screamed Mrs. Dean.

Carl took the key out of his pocket, then unlocked the handcuffs. After that, both of the boys received hugs from their parents. Judy was squeezing the daylight out of her son, while Mrs. Dean was tearing up from being reunited with hers. Jimmy then requested his mom and dad to let go of him for a moment. Accepting his request, Jimmy threw himself at Carl, embracing into a hug. Carl was confused, because he thought Jimmy was uncomfortable hugging the same gender. When he finished hugging Carl, he did the same to Sheen.

"Gentlemen, I am so sorry I took you for granted. I have not been a very nice friend to you both! I've been so full of my own potential, I never took the time to acknowledge yours! The bestest friends in the world deserve a pal that actually cares for them. That is why, from now on, things are going to be different around here! Carl; No more harsh lecturing, and human experimental testing! If I happen to accidentally trigger anything that sets off your anxiety, keep me apprised!" Said Jimmy. "Gee. Thanks, Jimmy! You’re the greatest!" Carl thanked. "And Sheen; Thank you for being a supportive friend! Thank you for at least trying your best to be a helpful friend! Thank you for being the friend that wants nothing more  than to put smiles upon our faces. I feel you deserve much more credit than what you've earned!" "Sooooooooooo... ...would you like to watch 395 episodes of the original 90s Ultralord show on Cageflix with me?" Asked Sheen. "... Sure! Anything for an old buddy of mine!" "HALLELUJAH!"

Sheen's prayers have been answered. Jimmy Neutron is a changed boy, and has learned to respect his friends. Out of excitement, Sheen returned Jimmy's hug. The moment was disturbed when they received an uninvited guest. It was Cindy, who finally swallowed her pride and came to apologize to Libby. She didn't notice Jimmy and Nick there.

"Cindy?" Libby was surprised. "Yeah. It's me alright. Listen, about what I said earlier... A lot has gone right through my head. I don't know what's wrong with me." Said Cindy. "Is this an apology?" "Yesssssss. I'm sorry, Libby. I'm sorry for my outburst back there. Pride really takes a toll on me. It seems that I am the one who is... ...wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrooooooooooonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnng." "*Pats Cindy on the back* You're alright, girl." "What's going on?" Asked Jimmy. "This is between us friends, Neutron- Neutron?!" Quote Cindy.

Cindy couldn't believe her eyes. Jimmy was back. Instead of throwing her usual angry fit, she decided to just steer clear from him and run back home. Libby, however, grabbed Cindy, and pushed her towards the boy genius. If Cindy is mature as she says she is, she might as well prove it. Not just to her friends, but to herself as well. Time to face the music.

"Is there... ...something you'd like to say?" Jimmy asked timidly. "Mhm." Cindy hummed. "...?" "...!" "...?" "Maybe you were right. This breakup is best for us." "Wait, could you say that again? First sentence." "You were right." "And again?" "You wer-" "*Giggles* Just messin' with ya! Go on, if you may!" "*Groans* Perhaps we are unhealthy for each other. All I ever thought about was getting my happy ending, but this relationship of ours isn't gonna lead to anything in the future. Maybe, there are alternate ways to find my happy ending. Sometimes, the best way to be free is to move on." "I couldn't agree more. *Puts out hand* Friends?" "*Slowly reaches for his hand to shake* Friends. Whatever."

The two shook hands, reclaiming friendship. Cindy wasn't proud of what she did, but it felt hella satisfying.

"Well Nick, looks like you'll be on your way." Said Libby. "Nuh uh! I ain't going nowhere! Jimmy and I are now two peas in a pod!" Replied Nick.

Cindy, Carl, and Sheen were dumbfounded on what they just heard. One: Nick noting the boy genius as his best buddy. And two: Did Nick just call Jimmy by his first name? Unlike with Cindy, the kids have never heard Nick address Jimmy by his first name. Libby was not at all surprised. She figured out the message here. Sheen thought, if Nick finally decided to settle with Jimmy, then that means he's ready to settle with him and Carl.

"If you're now cool with Jimmy, then does that make you..." Said Sheen. "Huh? ‘Does that make me’ what?" Asked Nick. "...our new FRIEND! *Gazes at him with twinkling eyes*" "Uhhhhhhhh-" "WELCOME TO THE NERD SQUAD, NEW FRIEND!"

Sheen embraced Nick into a big hug. Quitting popularity has taken a load off of Nick's back. But now that he's friends with Jimmy, he's got a brand new load: Sheen. Ah, hell with it. For Jimmy, he might as well learn to tolerate Sheen's wacky actions. While Nick tried to squirm out of Sheen's grip, Jimmy removed the amulet out of his pocket, and gave it to his mother.

"Happy belated birthday, Mom." Said Jimmy. "Oh, Jimmy... This is beautiful. Where did you get this?" Asked Judy. "It-" "Oh, on second thought. Nevermind." "Now that the kids are back, what say we all celebrate?" Suggested Mrs. Dean. "That's a wonderful idea! How 'bout dinner at Paste Pot's Pizza Palace?" "Mehhh. There's this international All-You-Can-Eat buff-fet that serves everything, including a sushi bar! It's very expensive, but... *Applies makeup* ...I know how to get us free meals." "Ooooh! Oooooh! Why don't we dine at Pancia Grassa: Italian Eats? And as a bonus treat, Showtime Ducks On Ice has a grand performance tonight!" Quote Hugh. "Hugh, it's the boys we're treating. Not you."

Jimmy had something else in mind.

"That's all very nice of you. But frankly, I'd rather gorge down at The Candy Bar, and catch a movie with my new best friend, Nick! ...for the remaining of the day!" "That's right! His best friend."

Nick wrapped a single arm around his short buddy, as they walked off together. Cindy has never seen Jimmy that close to anyone. Also, when did Nick start calling Jimmy "Jimmy?" The skateboard boy looks spot-on happy in the boy genius's presence. These two have been together for an entire week, in whatever timeline. Could this be one of those "stranded on a deserted island" cases? Nah, that's ridiculous! They're men! Men don't fall in love with each other! Can they?

Meanwhile, Carl tossed all his magic gear aside. He's through with magic now. It's time to hang up the hat and cape, and go back to the llamas that need him dearly. Here's a magician the world isn't ready for yet. Everyone shrugged, and left the scene to attend to their own businesses. After that, a little white familiar rabbit popped out from the hat, giving off a wink.

[46ten]

AH, meet Alexander Hamilton

I received a few days ago a letter from my brother Robert, overflowing with the warmest sensibility of the many important obligations for which he is indebted both to you & Mrs. Hamilton. Since you take a pleasure in conferring happiness, it will no doubt afford you satisfaction to learn the joy which your friendly reception, & endeavors to effect my brother’s appointment into the American navy have communicated to his family in this country. The result of your application for the first lieutenancy of one of the new frigates was still uncertain when he wrote; but without anticipating the event, I may truely assure you that the endeavor has impressed the most indelible gratitude on our minds; & that we view with sensations of no common kind the excellent portrait which ornaments our chimney-peice. By the way my father has been informed by an American gentleman who visited Edinburgh lately, that it is a striking, tho’ not a flattering likeness of the original. 29Oct1798 Alexander Hamilton, then of Edinburgh, to his cousin, Alexander Hamilton (then residing in NYC).  [my emphases]

The son of William Hamilton (William S. Hamilton’s presumed namesake*) wrote this letter; James Hamilton Sr. was William Hamilton’s older brother. (See Newton here for conjectured birth years.) I wonder how the Scottish Hamiltons came to be in possession of a portrait of AH - they even hung it up for visitors to see!  Maybe AH sent it to them! 

I have always found the reunification of the Hamilton branches cute and sweet, and touching in the generosity on both sides. It’s not the easiest thing to explain that this is your bastard nephew from your broke brother who left for the West Indies 50 odd years ago; nor is it easy to accept a family connection you have not enjoyed for 40 years of existence. 

And it raises a lots of questions - it’s probably not the case that William Hamilton heard about an Alexander Hamilton of NY and immediately thought, “hey, I bet that’s the illegitimate son of my brother down in the West Indies whom I haven’t seen for over 50 years!” Alexander Hamilton was not an uncommon name; there was even another in St. Croix. So we have to guess as to what William did and didn’t know, and when, based on AH’s letter to him.

Things William must have known: 

1. That Alexander existed. AH asked if William had heard from James Sr in recent months, indicating that the two were sometimes corresponding, so there’s a good chance at some point that James Sr. wrote his family about his kid(s), though it’s not clear when. Though it also doesn’t seem James Sr. was a frequent correspondent with his family back in Scotland, besides the creditors chasing after him.  See Newton here. 

2. That AH’s mother was dead. AH doesn’t mention this fact, so it seems William must have referred to or implied it in his letter.

Things it seems William did not know:

1. How James Sr. and AH came to be separated

2. How AH ended up in the U.S.-to-be.

3. Hopefully, a lot of details of AH’s life, because AH certainly does goes on about them. I’d love to know how much correspondence and inquiries went around before William Hamilton was certain that this was his nephew. Unless James Sr. had shared this information with his brother and AH was just bragging. 

Alex Hamilton responded to AH’s letter to William in 1797 and asked if any of AH’s sons would like to come and study in Edinburgh*. Alex Hamilton later became imprisoned in France, and AH appealed to Talleyrand to have him freed. 

AH did get Alex’s brother, Robert, that Navy commission. Founders has only one transcribed letter from Robert Hamilton to AH.  From it, we know that they were in correspondence frequently enough for letters to Robert to be entrusted to AH, and then passed on by AH. Robert also shares details about what was contained in the letters - the latest goings on of his siblings and friends. And he specifically writes kindly about EH and the family. 

I wish we knew even more about the relationship between AH and his Scottish Hamilton relatives discovered later-in-life. This is a cute quote from Alex, written in response to AH’s 1797 letter: 

As I hope to be favored with your future correspondence, it might be proper to give you some idea of your correspondents, but alas! the trivial circumstances it would be my lot to record, must form a very unpleasant contrast with the narrative you have sent my father. 

*I’m not sure what else the Hamiltons should have named yet another son. They had completed the grandfather, father, brother (-in-law) naming pattern, and seemed to be avoiding repeating first names and using surnames (hi Rensselaer Schuyler and Gouverneur Morris!), though they could have used Stephen as a first name. Next should have been honored friends, but how would they choose? Can you imagine how many potential hurt feelings there would be?  I think Robert “I entreat you at all times without the least hesitation to make use of me as you please” Troup would have cried if AH had named this son Oliver. Or the name William was in mind because of correspondence with William Jackson for the Monroe duel, and they decided they liked it well enough? Though clearly they should have named their fifth son George Washington Hamilton, if only that name hadn’t already been taken by new brother-in-law George Washington Morton. 

**More of these letters might also shed light on AH’s planned trip to Europe. We know AH intended to travel with Philip so that Philip could study in Paris: “My dear friend, your father, promised to send your eldest brother to pass two years in Paris with me, to finish his education, I had his rooms all prepared at my hotel, and the vessel by which I expected he would arrive brought the news of his death. I dwell with much pleasure upon all these events; they bring back the recollections of my friend, your father, altogether the greatest intellect and best man of his country.” - Talleyrand to James A. Hamilton, Reminiscences of James A. Hamilton, p 308. See also N. Olive to AH, 15Dec1801; stating that Olive had told Talleyrand that AH was coming to France with his son, and that Talleyrand assured Olive he would care for Philip (letter obviously written before Olive and Talleyrand knew of Philip’s death). credit to runawayforthesummer for sharing these references with me. James A. Hamilton made it to Scotland, see pg 302-303 of his memoir above, and takes pride in being the only Hamilton child to visit the place where his grandfather and namesake, James Hamilton, lived. 

Here’s the Hamilton Coat of Arms: 

And here’s American Alexander Hamilton’s bookplate (found on first edition of bound Federalist papers) 

[imaginetheliar]

Happy birthday, Ouma!

So I know we’ve been a little dead lately... I’m hoping I’ll be able to be more active in the coming weeks, but sadly, I’m not promising anything! ;w; This isn’t exactly a request that we got, but I would’ve felt bad being an Ouma-oriented blog and not posting anything for his birthday... so! I wrote up a little drabble! I haven’t written in a while, so I’m not positive about the quality, but I hope you all can enjoy it nonetheless!

You kept nervously checking your phone. Nope, not time yet. Nuh-uh, still not time. Was the clock moving slower than usual, or was it just you?

June 20th, 11:58 PM. You were determined to wish your boyfriend a happy birthday the minute it was his birthday, so, here you were! You were sitting on your bed, phone open to your texts with Ouma. You had an entire message typed out and ready to send! You were just waiting to… you know, actually send it. You thought the text was the perfect combination of sweet and joking, to really hit Kokichi’s heart hard. It had to be perfect for him. Still waiting, you reread it for the seventh time.

“Happy birthday Kokichi!! It’s that time of the year again, where you get spoiled with gifts and cake and soda. Enjoy it while it lasts, because this is the only day of the year where people are obligated to be kind to you! I bought you a pack of soda we can enjoy together later… or for you to smash completely on your own, who knows? I hope today treats you well, and hopefully this year will finally be the year you manage to grow facial hair!”

Pretty good, right?

That, and now it was 11:59. Only another minute to wait, and then you can officially be the first person to send Ouma birthday wishes- at 12 AM on the dot!

You laid back, thinking about how much you liked… no, how much you loved him. How much he means to you. Memories upon memories of this boy coursed through your mind like a stream, each one making your chest feel warmer than the last.

There was his last birthday, when you tried making him a cake. Except it turned out you weren’t as amazing of a baker as you thought, and instead had a large puddle of thick… sugar sauce to present to him. Even if he did tease you for it, he still ate it all. He loved that not-quite-cake meal, and he loved you for making it.

Or then, the first time you met DICE. No matter how much Ouma bragged, in the end, they were just a group of harmless tricksters. And you know what? It was endearing. All of the members had treated you quite kindly- almost graciously, simply because you gave love and attention to their leader. They clearly all meant a lot to each other. Anyone who ever said Kokichi didn’t care for others was wrong. You and DICE were living, breathing proof of that. (Not to mention DICE helped you pull a prank on Ouma for once- seeing his face was priceless.)

Even the mundane events filled your heart with love and joy. Playing video games with Ouma on the (almost) daily… he always wins, but you don’t really care. He usually wants a kiss as his prize for winning, but you know what? You don’t really care. He made you look forward to losing, just to see him happy and full of pride.

You loved talking to him. Yes, he lied pretty often. So what? That doesn’t mean you can’t still enjoy your talks. Hell, trying to decipher the truth may be your favorite part about talking to him. Every conversation was a puzzle, every word a puzzle piece. You’d fit together his lies and his occasional truths to create some sort of information, and you were happily content with that arrangement. Even the tiny white lies sprinkled in with his speech made you love him, just small little fibs that were usually humorous.

You loved playing with his hair. It surprised you the first time you touched it, actually… there isn’t any product in it. Its formation is caused by constant twirling and teasing, and if Kokichi playing with his hair isn’t the cutest mental image, you don’t know what is. It’s even cuter, right after he showers- the hair will be damp, and flat against his head. And then you get to taunt him about it, until it dries, and magically takes its usual shape.

There was so much… too much you loved about Kokichi Ouma. You’re still not completely sure how you got so lucky as to have him, but… you aren’t complaining. Not in the slightest. And this perfect boyfriend of yours is now another year older… oh crap, birthday, that’s right!

You hit send on the message, before looking at the clock. 12:01.

You were a minute late.

Oh well, a minute’s a minute… and a success is a success. Somewhat disappointed but still satisfied, you set your phone down on the bedside table, alarm ready to wake you up at 9 AM. A twist of a knob dimmed your lamp to off, and your eyes guided themselves up to the ceiling.

Fuzziness and sand filled your eyes with drowse, eyelids fluttering open and then shut and then open again. You were excited to wake up in a few hours and spend the entire day with the lucky birthday boy, and a smile found its way onto your lips.

“Happy birthday, Ouma…” you managed to get out, before falling asleep.