#i put the ship tags in bc those ships ARE very present in the AU but beware they are all DOOMED as fuck (pom n rose in PARTICULAR.)

[milezperprower]

so. how abt them ask blogs.

ALR SO HERE'S HOW THIS IS GONNA WORK. i need to way to help me keep plotting for Ragamaster behind the scenes while also not letting interest for them die out, so i thought this would be a good middle ground. here are some rules / tips to keep in mind:

NOT EVERYTHING IS CANNON!!!! I AM STILL THINKING ABOUT MAKING AN ACTUAL BLOG FOR RAGAMASTER ONCE I ACTUALLY GET DONE PLOTTING OUT THE STORY!!! i'll clarify if something is cannon or not!

NO NSFW OR SUGGESTIVE ASKS. PLEASE. slightly lewd jokes are fine but will likely be ignored.

oh and on the topic of that, I WONT REPLY TO EVERYONE!!! i have a busy life, and i wont be replying to every single ask! dont take this personally!

there will be somethings i wont be able to fully respond to or be vague about! this gives me wiggle room for foreshadowing and actually letting me work out the kinks of the story!

IM VERY NEW TO THIS! IVE NEVER DONE ASK BLOGS OR TUMBLR BEFORE! PLEASE BE PATIENT WITH ME!!!

editing this in now, you can absolutely ask me about other topics! tadc, warrior cats, sonic, i don’t care! just as long as I’m remotely interested in them!

other than that, i cant really think of anything else! ill add updates if more comes to mind. have fun yall!

[rottentiger-art]

tag people you would like to get to know better

Thank you @gigantomachy1916 and @litterateur97 for the tag!! It's crazy how much we have in common lol

1. Three Ships

Ooof, I got so many, I'm gonna put the three I'm currently obsessed with (bc I'm not sure I could choose just three as favorite)

Vegebul, my beloved, my OTP, the light in my life, the best anime couple imo

Trumai (yes, both versions), the successor of Vegebul, they have me in a hold just as strong as them, it's such a weird but fun pairing, I adore them

Hurrem x Suleiman (look at themmmmm) everytime suleyman spoke his poems to hurrem I melted, no ship has ever have such romantic quotes. Plus, i use a lot of their scenes for royal aus, it's just gold

I know you said three but I gotta give an honorable mention to Lawmane, who's ever present in my mind, even if I dont post about them as often as before. They would've been THE couple if only Misa hadnt fallen for that gay republican

2. First Ever Ship

I think it was either Sparrabeth or Quogan, I'm not too sure (Quogan was the first ship I've read a fanfic of tho). I'm still obsessed with both, maybe more than when I was younger. I remember wanting Spareabeth to be endgame and to know more of Quogan's life after the show's end, but now it's a NEED

3. Last Song

Funeral by Mon Laferte. It's an amazing song, it speaks of being in a loveless/passionless relationship and wondering how it got that way and wanting nothing more than for it to finally reach its end. My favorite part goes something like this: "While I prepare breakfast I feel so terribly alone, suddenly I want to die, I want to run away from you. I wish I was on the ocean, letting the waves carry me away, I want to stop breathing; dont wake me up, I want to keep dreaming about our funeral" not a perfect translation, but you get the point. The narrator feels so helpless and is so desperate to find a way put an end to that relationship, other part of the song reflects her regret on how they both let the relationship die and wishes she could go back in time and prevent it, but nonetheless their love has died and they're both wasting their time by still being together.

I listen to it a lot when I need to think an angst AU or something lol. But the singer is so good and shows such emotions through her voice, it makes me relate, even tho I've never been on that situation (thankfully)

If you want to get into Hispanic music, I definitely recommend Mon Laferte, she's one of my favorite artist, "Se me va a quemar el corazón" is another amazing song of hers that I recommend.

4. Last Movie

The Menu (2022)

Amazing movie, it was fun and light to watch and not to be taken too seriously + it has my gf Anya Taylor-Joy (ORGULLO ARGENTINO), I took a peek at its tag on ao3 out of curiosity and I'm embarrassed to say who I'm shipping now, but if you know me, you can probably guess

5. Currently Reading

Nothing new, I've re read my favorite books, The Little Prince by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry and Chronicle of a Death Foretold by GGM. The little prince was the first book ive ever read, I always heard it's a book you should read as a kid and then later as an adult, and my God, it's true, it's a completely different experience. 6 yo me thought it was a fun book about a man hallucinating in the desert, 24 yo me cred like a baby full of longing for a childhood I didn't appreciate and grief of the kid in me that inevitably died as I grew up and became an adult.

I never tire of reading CoaDF, everytime I expect the end to be different even tho the very beginning tells you what's gonna happen.

I dont have much time, so I choose those too bc they're a short read. However, I'm gonna start to reread asoiaf books too, bc I can never get enough of them

6. Currently Watching

Like I said, I have no time, so I stick to Sitcoms I can put on the bg while I work. I'm currently rewatching The Nanny, I forgot how much I loved it. And I swear, I'll start dressing as Fran as soon as I have time to buy new clothes, her style is just, mwah chef's kiss, obsessed.

And omg, I forgot how slow the burn in this show was, its Season 5 and they're still not dating!!!! Immabout to throw gasoline at them!!!!!

7. Currently Consuming

I ordered some Pizza, it should be here any moment, I'm sure you can guess why

8. Currently Craving

TIME PLEASE, I NEED TIME TO BREATH, I HADNT DRAW ANYTHING IN SO LONG AND ITS AFFECTING ME SO MUCH

I also need to finish my fic and socialize more. So I crave time, I need a vacation.

9. Tagging

@tomwise @emcads @littlewomenpodcast @mslilylashes ❤ anyone that wants to do it, feel free to!

[stainlesssteellocust]

I know I’ve been saying I’ll update my Agnes Montague / Jack Barnabas happy ending fic for months and months now, but now a fixed laptop and the actual ability to write is on the horizon I’ve gotta set myself some targets and get the chapters cranked out.

People speculating about Agnes showing up in TMP puts me on edge, ‘cause if they joss my silly pairing I’ll be kinda sad (can always chalk it up to alternate universes tho). So I need to get as much content made as I can before TMP comes out.

I want at least 10 chapters of Firestorm done by the time TMP airs, along with the continuation of Boiling Waters that I promised to write forever ago. That way, whatever happens, I can go into TMP happy with the state of my stories.

For those not knowing what the hell I’m on about, I suppose I should advertise: I wrote a bunch of stories on Ao3 featuring Agnes, including two shipping her with Jack Barnabas, her short-lived boyfriend from Burning Desire.

I can’t link them Because Tumblr, but if you want to check them out they’re written under the pseud Merovignian (it’s misspelled on purpose bc the proper one was taken, I swear) and are:

The Firestorm and the Moth, a nobody-dies AU of Burning Desire where the tree on Hill Top Road never quite fell, and Agnes’ odd little dates with Jack deepen into a slow-burn romance. Ongoing, with six chapters at present. So far they’ve reached the ‘holding hands through very thick gloves’ stage…

The Boiling Waters of Asag, a Season 5 era fic complete with statement where Jon and Martin stop at a strange cafe in the burned-out ruins of Sheffield, and meet the Avatar couple that runs it. Jack/Agnes, if much more twisted than the fic above. Also Jon/Martin.

Also the one shots Before the Fire is Lit and Burnt Offerings, a pair of Agnes-centric vignettes. There are hints of pairings, but nothing major. They’re canon compliant, but could fit the above fics easily (if you ignore or creatively interpret the last line of Offerings to make it fit Firestorm, anyway).

So…yeah, if those are concepts you’re interested in, check them out! There’s lots of lovely fanart from Burning Desire and a lot of people like it, but relatively little fic, so I’ve decided to do my part in filling the hole. I’m not the only one of course, so if you do take a look, please also check out the pairing tag to see the lovely works done by others. Have fun!

[galpalpetraral]

[20 Question Fic Writer Tag]

(tagged by @darlingpoppet)

1. How many works do you have on AO3? 17 currently, but I'm a serial deleter and I always wanna keep it under 20. would be like. 69 by now otherwise

2. What is your AO3 word count? 217,645...and see above LOL I shudder to imagine what it would be if I wasn't always deleting

3. What fandoms do you write for? mostly cql and asoiaf in recent years. tho I also have a zelda wip I've been kicking around for a while...we'll see if that ever amounts to anything :') and I'll still keep a few snk fics up, being mighty fond of those days

4. What are your top five fics by kudos? tuck the darkness in (wx shrinking haunted house fic), sunday night lights (eruri football au), friendly fields (wx ghost baby fic), fourth one will prob be deleted soon so it doesn't count lol, and where they grow (madam lan lives au).

5. Do you respond to comments? Why or why not? yep every time! at most it'll take me a month to respond but I never let it go beyond that. even the negative ones (I'm a Pro-Crit Fanfic Guy sorry)

6. What's the fic you wrote with the angstiest ending? the ending to our shadow over the sea (rhaenicent fic) has garnered many delightful threats upon my person and I cherish them all. that and two slow dancers (eruri vampire au): FIGHT!

7. What's the fic you wrote with the happiest ending? most of my other fics tbqh ugh :( maybe set me as a seal (eruri reincarnation au) just bc happy endings for the ruris are rare wah...

8. Do you get hate on fics? idk if I would call it hate, but criticism yes! most common word I hear along that line is "boring" which is definitely understandable lol, there are times when I reread my own works and find them too generic/not rly offering anything new, in which case I take that forward with me into new works to try to enrich them. although I guess if by "hate" you mean like, troll type hate on pairings & things, then yeah who doesn't LOL

9. Do you write smut? If so, what kind? yep, and more so in recent years! and it's the kind of smut that's way too sappy no matter the situation no matter the tone UGH :(

10. Do you write crossovers? What's the craziest one you've written? snk/asoiaf crossover for my yumihisu rights...idk if it counts as a crossover since it's just snk characters in the asoiaf world, but I did go Very heavy on the asoiaf lore lol whoops

11. Have you ever had a fic stolen? yeah lol multiple but I kinda forgot until this was asked, can't bring myself to care unfortch, peace be with you

12. Have you ever had a fic translated? yes!! southern cross translated into chinese by gloria_77, set me as a seal translated into chinese by applethief326, and sunday night lights translated into russian by ackermantihora! and I know there's still several translations of deleted fics out there heh. I so appreciate the hard work of you amazing translators!!

13. Have you ever cowritten a fic before? not since I was a kid doing it for giggles with friends, but definitely a lot of fun :)

14. What's your all-time favourite ship? eruri literally life-changing, so. and korrasami

15. What's a WIP you'd like to finish but doubt you ever will? oh man there was this one hannibal wip I had back in the day that like, the themes and imagery and stuff would've been so legit but I needed someone smarter than me to write it :( it was about will & hannibal taking sanctuary in that one silician cathedral while besieged by police. kinda weaving back and forth between past and present, contemplating God and gods and stuff. someone write this please. also there's this one cql post-canon fic but it's all about accepting death and the curse of immortality and stuff and it's kind of a bummer to write LOL maybe will keep chipping away at it one day

16. What are your writing strengths? seems like I'm good at getting across my goal themes & purposes - ppl seem to pick up what I'm putting down often and it makes me happy! because I do tend to err on the side of vagueness & trusting the audience, and it's nice when it's rewarded :)

17. What are your writing weaknesses? like mentioned before, my fics have been called boring & I think that has a lot to do with some generic imagery/syntax I've relied on - definitely something I've tried to improve on but it's a work in progress! like I've sometimes sacrificed diction for story flow ya know, it doesn't work on shrewder readers and I def respect that & want to do better

18. Thoughts on writing dialogue in another language for a fic? if you know what you're doing, cool! but I've come across too many instances in fics where the author demonstrated a lack of basic understanding of the language & not only does it throw you out but it feels disrespectful - I know ppl get all "it's just fanfic I'm not being paid!!1!!!!11" but if you're going to work within a culture that's not your own, research. not exactly sure if that's what the question is asking LOL but that's been my experience both as a reader and a writer

19. First fandom you wrote for? legend of zelda!! I wrote a billion words of ocarina of time pre-canon fic about the three goddesses at age 10 on a beat-up floppy disc. those were the days man

20. Favourite fic you've ever written? man something happened with southern cross that I've never been able to truly replicate...looking back there's a few too many extra words, few too many instances of passive voice, but for the most part I'm just like damn dude...what was she cooking

if you're a writer and you haven't been tagged yet I tag YOU!!!

[piraticusdorm]

1 and 12 for everyone? 😳

♥ (01) Is your OC in love? If so, with whom, and for how long?

SDKLDFKLKLFG TY FOR THE ASK THIS IS. hard to say bc multishipping u know 😳  i’m not tagging ppl in this dw 

Conrad

He’s polyamory so each ship it isn’t an AU like the rest? Or not all have to be AUs.

Conrad has a few infatuations, like he could go for it but also won’t be broken up if they reject him. Among these would be Kritanta, Kenn, Bastielle, Gale?, Crow, Medjed and Vinh. I feel I’m forgetting some peeps but...

Serious love takes time so it’s more like, the ships I’ve discussed more? He’s so guarded it is hard to imagine him with butterflies in his stomach and it takes a while fdkkgf. So I’d say Kit and Johnny, and it’d become love as he saw more of their gentler sides.

Tink

Theres his ship with Shiloh, and Tink started crushing and falling in love early on. 

He also has weird feelings for Conrad. Tink can’t quite place them as strong friendship, romantic, or residue of his dependant tendencies. 

Miiight have some remaining feelings for Percy (Peter Pan oc) despite how many years it’s been.

Krok

Idiot who also doesn’t get his own feelings. Tends to crush on people he can’t reach, like Conrad and Fiorella, but it’s not love-love u know.

He’d be in love with friends and not realise for a long while, like Kritanta, Bellus, Mythra, Aello- he’s just happy spending time together as they already are.

Figaro

Roast this cat. 

Okay no but. He does fall in love easily and so spends a lot of time pining. Like with Vil, Bellus and Josiah. He likes ‘em pretty even if it makes him think they’re out of his league.

Clyde

The most guarded of all. Love? Don’t know her. She’s reluctant to even think of the word. She might still date but having serious romantic feelings is another thing.......

--------------

♥ (12) What do you love most about your OC?

Conrad: HIS TI- no im jk. Honestly I really like he’s the only human of the main squad, and the Captain. Human drive over supernatural abilities! Also that he’s romantic and realistic, goofy and shrewd, childish and mature- human contradictions! It depends on the situation, as it usually does..

Tink: His color palette! Character-wise, that he’s someone trying to be better, and who fails very very often but still keeps trying.

Krok: Teef....... But also. I enjoy “monsters” who like. Have qualities we consider human but are still very much not human. Some qualities that put you at ease and some that make you side-eye.

Figaro: luv this catboy...  But it’s the way he’s not the common smart type, his intelligence is more emotional and social and he’s very grounded in the present. 

Clyde: There’s a lot KLDFKLKLGF but. That she’s really smart but tends to get wrapped up in her own head and cynicism. You can tell where she grew up wasn’t ideal and she’s still carrying those lessons, despite saying she’s over it.

[panharmonium]

@merlinobsessionist you understand me on a spiritual level

[putting the rest of this under a cut because it just ended up being me grumping at length about fandom trends - which, yes, i am well-aware is a silly endeavour in all cases, but sometimes you just gotta have your little grump regardless, you know, for health reasons. X)  and in this particular case the grumping is probably relevant/entertaining only to myself, and you, and one or two other people here, so, tucking it away to spare everyone’s dash :) ]

the other day i was exploring the mostly abandoned wasteland that is the merlin fandom on livejournal (since that’s my original fandom home and obviously i missed out on being involved in that particular niche of lj when merlin was active, so i was feeling nostalgic and kinda curious as to it had looked like) - i stumbled over a merlin fic-finders comm and looked up my boy william just for kicks, and surprisingly, a couple of the old requests sounded like maybe i WAS involved in the merlin fandom on livejournal back then and i just don’t remember it

i think i wrote this in a past life

this is an eleven year-old comment in a mostly defunct fandom community but i felt it in my BONES

oh, my dear commenter from 8 years ago, i WISH  XD

it made me laugh, and then it made me grumpy, because obviously there were very few suggestions offered in response to these asks - the fics just don’t exist, not in any numbers.

and like, the thing is, i don’t particularly care about the shipping side of things for the most part; i always lean towards gen and that’s mostly been it, for me; that’s always been my MO in every fandom i’ve ever participated in, but - look.  if i have to witness (*checks ao3*) 23,830 (twenty four thousand. twenty four THOUSAND!!!!) instances of merlin getting together with arthur hecking pendragon, over and over and over again, in every AU configuration under the sun, then you had better believe i am ready and willing to plead the case of the only person in the merlin-verse who did not think arthur pendragon deserved merlin’s entire life.  

and of course, there’s nothing inherently wrong with arthur and merlin as an item, obviously (i mean, i can name a few things about it that don’t appeal to me personally, but that is not the same thing as a value judgment) and everybody should have fun with their own ships, always - but for me, personally, there is just...enough of that out there.  i have seen Enough.  it’s hard for me to even determine where the rest of the fandom is, under the ever-present spread of merlin/arthur content; a picture of merlin/arthur should literally be next to the dictionary entry for steamroller.

and of course, i knew it would be like this from the beginning, and i know complaining about the ubiquitousness of a particular ship in fandom is utterly silly, in the end, because it’s not like there’s anything wrong with something being ubiquitous - the whole point of fandom is to make what you love, and if that’s what everybody loves, well, hey, that’s just how it is!  that’s what people should be making - the stuff they love!  that’s what fandom is here for!  i only mutter to myself in the bubble of my own blog because the ubiquitousness makes it almost impossible for me to find what *i* love, because i don’t want to read about arthur/merlin in the first place, no matter who else appears in the fic, and also because my fave minor character, while he gets a pretty good amount of fannish screentime for someone who showed up in one episode, also suffers from the curse known as “virtually everything he features in is actually about merlin and arthur getting it on”

like - by the numbers, when you exclude merlin/arthur from will’s character tag, will retains less than 20% of his fics, some of which are already like...you know, he’s dead, or just mentioned, et cetera.  

and his poor ship tag...he and merlin have 136 fics in their tag, and at first you wanna look at that and be like - ‘hey, not bad, pal, that’s p. good for a rarepair!’  but in actuality, less than 20 of those fics are actually about him and merlin.  like...12% of his own ship tag actually belongs to him, and the rest is him being used as a plot device to get arthur and merlin together.

and i am sure that a lot of other side characters probably suffer from this, too, given the general fic distribution in this fandom, though the only person i’ve looked at for comparison purposes is freya, who is a (mostly) one-ep character like will.  she, despite that, doesn’t appear to get hit quite as hard - she seems to keep more of her fic for herself, which is nice (when i exclude merlin/arthur from the freya/merlin search, freya still retains about 65% of her fics, as opposed to will’s sad little 12%).  i’m glad for her, though - she of all people does not need to be losing fic to arthur; she has suffered enough. 

to put things in perspective, though - merlin and uther have more fics in their ship tag that earnestly focus on the tagged....hnhhmgnhn i can’t say it...relationship than merlin and will do - even filtering out every instance of dubcon/noncon.  

(and yes, i did in fact want to die when i had to actually click the merlin/uther tag on ao3 in order to check that factoid, thanks for asking.)

so, that said - i don’t generally read canon-era fic anyway, when i’m actively writing for a fandom, but since the merlin fandom sometimes feels like it consists solely of modern AU’s anyway, all i am trying to say is that it would be nice if i could pick up an AU including a character i enjoy without seeing him constantly reduced to:

merlin’s loser ex

merlin’s abusive ex (w h at)

merlin’s ex who’s kinda sorta tolerable-ish, maybe, if you squint, but just ultimately Not Right for merlin - holding merlin back, or being too overbearing, or too pushy, or Just Not Enough - or being someone who merlin stays with only bc he’s familiar and merlin’s settling for something safe and unrisky and stagnantly unfulfilling

the dude who merlin cheats on to be with arthur

the dude who cheats on merlin, bc the fic needed a reason to break up merlin and will so that white-knight!arthur could swoop in (cue me shouting ‘IN WHAT UNIVERSE DO YOU THINK WILL WOULD EVER - ’)

the dude merlin “makes mistakes with” when things with arthur aren’t going well

the friend-with-benefits who’s apparently chill with a casual arrangement, thus keeping himself conveniently out of the way of the oncoming merlin/arthur train

the friend-with-benefits who’s secretly NOT chill with a casual arrangement and who’s pining for merlin, except we all know that ain’t ever going anywhere because arthur exists, and in the meantime merlin only ever gets together with will to try and forget his problems

the friend-with-no-benefits who’s still pining for merlin (which situation, i might add, would be read completely differently if it were arthur in will’s shoes, because if that were the case then the audience would 100% be rooting for him)

the “best friend” whose only purpose in fic is to provide space for conversations/debriefs about merlin’s relationship/pre-relationship with arthur (like - i’m sorry, but there desperately needs to be some type of bechdel-esque test for will; e.g. do will and merlin have a conversation about something other than arthur pendragon?  if yes, u win, u may pass go, collect 20 dollars, congratulations)

the friend whose dislike of arthur always, ALWAYS ends up being framed as a mistake.  as will’s stubborn unwillingness to give arthur a chance, until at last will sees the light and succumbs to the irresistible beauty of merlin and arthur’s eternal love. -_-  there is vanishingly rare acknowledgement in fic of the fact that in the canon universe, all of the criticisms will makes about merlin and arthur’s relationship are not only accurate, but made in merlin’s best interests (and also, ultimately, proven right, by the end of the show - merlin tanks his whole damn life for a series of empty promises prophesying arthur pendragon’s future potential, and he gets NOTHING for his devotion.  merlin is more alone at the end of the show than he was at the beginning, when his only dream was to be loved and accepted by more than the two people who’d comprised his entire life up until that point.  and he spends at least half a decade in between the show’s hopeful beginning and its miserable end being told that he’s evil by the very person for whom he is expected to sacrifice his future.  

so what, exactly, makes will so wrong to be wary?  who among us wouldn’t be angry if we saw somebody we loved being forced to sacrifice themselves on an unforgiving altar like this?  

i don’t know the answer.  i’m not sure what it is that earns will his spot on the “destined to be shafted for arthur pendragon” list.  i don’t know if it’s an unconscious backlash to will’s refusal to hop on the arthur/merlin train, or if it’s just a superficial understanding/lack of genuine interest in his character, which, in that case, sure, i’ll give people that one, in all fairness; not everyone has spent a year picking his character apart (though i still don’t think it justifies tossing him in there just because the fic needs a random insert who can be positioned as inferior to arthur’s gloriousness).  either way, the end result is that we usually end up seeing a will who has very little in common with his source material, or who needs to ultimately step aside to make way for arthur - arthur, who never displays the same level of care toward merlin in canon that merlin shows toward him, and who actively oppresses merlin’s people for the entire duration of their relationship.  

like...it’s all just fic, obviously, and we can make characters as OOC as we want; have fun; go wild.  but at the same time, it’s impossible for me not to balk at how arthur in some of this fic is just - utterly unrecognizable.  in comparison with fic!will, arthur is the most Solicitous, Gentle, Understanding, Deeply Concerned, Invested-In-Merlin’s-Welfare-and-Inner-Thoughts creature you ever did see, and I’m just over here like - it is not like that!  it is NOT LIKE THAT!  IT HAS LITERALLY NEVER BEEN LIKE THAT.  arthur pendragon in fic sometimes interacts with merlin like - he tilts his head and listens like a therapist and affirms absolutely everything merlin says and tells him ‘gosh, i understand. tell me more. how can i help you’ - he goes about his day thinking about merlin and putting merlin first and i just - i literally have never seen this person before in my life.  who is this man?  who is this unbelievably attentive paragon of caring?  i’ve never met him before.

the entire running problem with merlin and arthur’s friendship in canon is that arthur, while he absolutely does care about merlin, tends to take merlin for granted.  merlin is just another feature of arthur’s landscape, until something dramatic happens and arthur has a little scare and saves merlin’s life, and then things go back to the way they were.  arthur doesn’t See merlin the way he should, not in the ordinary moments.  merlin goes home and spends his evenings thinking about arthur’s life; he ties himself in knots trying to help arthur develop as a person and to keep arthur safe and happy, but arthur just goes home and eats supper with his wife.  arthur does not go home and spend his nights agonizing over how he can improve merlin’s life.  he never once thinks, ‘my purpose on this earth is to serve and support my friend merlin.’  he never feels like he’s supposed to be half of some two-sided coin.  i know people like to give arthur this quality in their fic - and that’s totally fine, of course, it’s fic, have as much fun as you want - but in canon, that is just not something arthur pendragon does.  it’s not who he is shown to be.  

and yet almost every time when i go to explore fandom, i find that the person who does put merlin first in canon is perpetually elbowed aside for this extremely generous interpretation of everyone’s favorite prince.  

and i just...i always try to find the good bits in everything, and i am sometimes willing to overlook a ship i don’t personally enjoy if there’s something else about the piece that i think is great, but there’s only so many times i can read the sentence “merlin had never felt like this with anyone, not even will” in fics where merlin and will are supposed to have been dating or even married/engaged, or “will was merlin’s best friend, but he just didn’t understand” (not like arthur, of course, who merlin literally just met a week ago), or “will was great, but there was only so much of him merlin could stand in one sitting/will was great, but he was best enjoyed in small doses.”  there’s only so many times i can read a hundred different variations of that before i start to get real grumpy.  and that’s not even touching the fics where will’s portrayed less favorably than that, even.  

so, you know.  i feel grumbly about it sometimes, how this particular character is trapped in a perpetual net of always being less-than, when one of the nicest parts of fandom for me is that every character/ship can have an infinitude of possibilities, even the ones i personally think are unbelievably bizarre (which category merlin and will do not even fall into, like - it’s not an incredible leap.  merlin/mordred is a leap, okay; mordred is like seventeen years old!  leon/morgana is a leap - how on earth did that become so popular??? - but will and merlin?  that’s not a leap.)

what is it about will that makes him so tempting to trample over?  will’s only sin in canon was to look at arthur pendragon and pronounce himself utterly unimpressed.  his only crime was to tell merlin ‘this dude isn’t good for you,’ about which fact he was CORRECT, by the way - he is the first person who ever chooses to care about merlin, the first person merlin ever chooses to trust, the first friend who loves real!merlin without needing to be coaxed and convinced and taught that it’s okay.  he is the only one who ever tells merlin ‘you deserve better than this mess,’ the only one for whom merlin has always been priority number one and in whose eyes arthur isn’t even on the map.  merlin’s friendship with will (and lancelot, afterwards) is the healthiest one merlin ever gets to experience, and i wish more fannish material acknowledged it as such, as opposed to using will to set up merlin and arthur’s epic romance.  

all of this, i suppose, is just a very long way of saying that now that i am no longer avoiding spoilers and have actually started testing the waters of the wider fandom, i have come to the obstinate, utterly inflexible conclusion that will deserves his own collection of happy endings, and i don’t care if i have to write them myself.  i’ve already got the gen angle covered.  and even though i’ve never written ship!fic in my life, the fact of the matter is that spite can be a hell of a motivator, and i will bite the bullet and learn how to do it if i have to.  if people can really be out here tagging their merlin/uther fics as “schmoop” (YES. REALLY.) then by GOD, i swear, there are no excuses - this fandom can accommodate literally anything; there’s no reason it can’t accommodate stories where will wins.  let this kid have his good ending.  arthur pendragon can fall in love with merlin 23,830 times despite his and merlin’s ship flying in the face of canon, and that means will deserves his own tiny handful of stories to be actually about him, without his and merlin’s relationship being used solely as a stepping stone on the way to merlin and arthur’s 23,831st triumph.

i am just saying - if uther pendragon can fall in love with merlin and have it tagged as ‘fluff,’ then for the love of all that is good, we can give will his moment.  let will enjoy the respect he should have earned from us when he died saving both merlin and arthur’s lives.  let will be a person in his own right, instead of a plot device sacrificed to the (in)glorious altar of merthur.  let will have an inner life of his own.  let will have a best friend who doesn’t treat him like an accessory to The Greatest Love Story Ever Told.  let will himself live out The Greatest Love Story Ever Told, for once.  let will get his guy.  i may tend to focus on friendship in my own work, but there are a lot of universes out there, and when it comes to someone who has always been so alone, and so singularly focused on merlin’s wellbeing, i’m not entirely sure if friendship even feels anything different to “in love” for will at all, in at least some of these places.

let will have his happy tags.  he’s been on his own for so much of his life - let him have his simple ‘friendship’, his ‘platonic love,’ his ‘found family.’  let him have his lovestruck ‘pining,’ ‘friends-to-lovers,’ ‘angst with a happy ending,’ too, and let him keep those tags for himself.  let characters who aren’t arthur pendragon have their love stories.

i may not care much for shipping, and i would rather read gen any day of the week, but let me tell you right now, i would rather write will and merlin settling down in a haze of domestic bliss 23,830 times before i would ever want to watch merlin ditch him yet again for a dude who never matched merlin’s level of caring and investment in the canon ‘verse.

[millennialzadr]

About Page!

Hello~! Thank you so much for visiting my blog! My name is Koya, I’m 25, I’m pansexual, my pronouns are she/her, and I’m a full time freelance artist! My main blog is @koyakyuuun, so I’ll be liking and following from there!

Below are some guidelines for those who are curious to know more about this blog and what to expect from it, as well as some general info and FAQs!

Content Guidelines!

The focus of this blog!

So this blog is a mish mash of a couple different themes, but above all it is an adult oriented Invader Zim fan blog!! I grew up with the show and and was a BIG fan during highschool, and after rediscovering it this year I have been DAZZLED and DELIGHTED by the fan content being produced today!! I have a deeply nostalgic yet completely new perspective on the show now that I’m in my 20s, so alongside of celebrating iz content and fan content in general, this blog will center around my niche fave: the iz cast + millennial culture! in other words, the characters depicted as if they lived in the real world and aged in real time! I loved and related to the characters as a kid, and I still love them dearly to this day, so to see people experiment with character interpretations and create adult versions of them means I can still relate to them even now, and even make my own versions! and as a queer neurodivergent millennial who loves niche culture, my favorite versions of the characters are queer neurodivergent millennials who love niche culture!! (and by niche culture I mean MEMES, AESTHETICS, BAD FASHION, GAY CULTURE, CRYPTID CULTURE, DARK CORNERS OF THE INTERNET, CREATIVELY WEIRD SELF EXPRESSION ETC!!)

And of course the other main theme which fits into the first: ZADR! while I don’t ship Zim and Dib as they’re canonically presented in the show, I DO adore the idea of the two growing up together, eventually becoming friends, and eventually falling in love. I’m a Big Gay and I love romance and lgbt content, and ZADR holds such a soft place in my heart 😭 I wrote a big post about why I love it so much which you can see here if you’re curious about my interpretation of the ship!

And now, some guidelines!!

Things I enjoy and will be posting/reblogging!

- general IZ content! because holy SHIT I love the show and ALL the content the fandom creates is awe inspiring and amazing!!!

- millennial culture/humor! I FUCKING LOVE IZ + 2019 POP CULTURE REFERENCES AND MEME CONTENT OKAY

- POSITIVE CONTENT! IZ is my comfort content and I deeply admire the positive impact the show has had on so many people. I also interpret Zim and Dib as having hard lives and mental problems but eventually recovering and finding happiness (and making each other happy!!). I do also love vent content and gritty/dark themes from an artistic standpoint (and of course comedic Depression™ memes) but I will be focusing much more on comforting and uplifting content!

- character development/relationships, fluff, comedy, domestic content, daily life, sci fi, conspiracy/cryptid content, fashion portraits and camp horror!! these are my favorite themes!!

- friendship, romance, and found family!! I adore the relationships between the characters and they ALL DESERVE LOVE!!!!! JHONEN CAN BITE MY ASS

- the IZ creators!! speaking of Jhonen LOL I LOVE seeing content about the creators themselves!! I genuinely have such affection and admiration for the wonderful people who brought and continue to bring the world of IZ to life, they are such amazing and inspiring human beings and I will be celebrating them alongside their creations!!

- IZ characters + aesthetics!! some of my MOST favorite IZ content depicts the characters being stylized with or sporting the fashion of vaporwave, goth, grunge, pastel, spacecore, cryptidcore, future funk, 90s disastercore and any and all things strange, niche, glittery and neon, and I FUCKING LOVE IT. GOD

- and lastly, I talk a fuck of a lot, as you can probably tell by this post lol. I’ll be screaming in the tags constantly and am liable to write the occasional super long text post! for those who are into that, I invite you to have discussions with me! and for those who aren’t, feel free to ignore them!

Things I will be staying away from!

- romantic content that depicts the characters as minors AKA underage zadr!! there will be no kid ships here! I’m an adult and only enjoy shipping adult versions of the characters! kid content will be either canon, wholesome, or friendship content! while I do find adult versions of the characters attractive since they have qualities I find attractive in real life, I see the adult versions as almost completely different people since they’re so far removed from the source content, and the love I feel for the canon kids is HIGHLY maternal and very nostalgia centric. this would probably be more clear if I didn’t lump the two types of content into the same blog, but I really do love both the adult fan interpreted IZ world and the canon IZ world in equal measure, just in different ways!

- content that fetishizes or ‘yaoi’-fies gay relationships! I am a queer person and I enjoy queer content made by queer people for queer people, you’re not gonna find any “B-BUT WE’RE BOTH BOYS!” shit here 😂

- content that depicts abuse between friends or partners!! while violence is an active theme in zim and dib’s canonical relationship, I very much dislike zadr content that depicts the two being aggressive or malicious towards each other while they’re supposedly in love. complex relationships are certainly interesting, but while toxic and abusive relationships are realistic, they’re not okay and should not be romanticized. I understand some people use that kind of content to cope, but for me it’s nothing but bad feelings. sparring and play fighting is fine and good, consensual violence could be interesting to explore, but hatred will stay separate from romance on this blog.

- discourse and long conversations about negative topics! I acknowledge the importance of discussing problems within the fandom, however I wish for this blog to be a positive and comforting place, since iz content in general is positive and comforting for me! there may be an occasional post that touches on real life negative topics but overall this will be kept to a minimum.

- explicit content!! while I DO both draw and consume nsfw adult zadr content, it will not be on this blog! since tumblr decided to be idiots and remove any way for minors and people who don’t wish to see nsfw content to hide it, this blog will remain pg-13. I will also not be providing any links to my other sites because of this (I am a nsfw artist and I sell porn commissions for a living, not trying to shove that in the faces of my minor, ace and sex repulsed followers, but by all means seek out my art if you DO wish to!). similarly, I will not be releasing my nsfw zadr art publicly anywhere, since aged up characters are controversial and my career, being online, could suffer if someone wanted to use that against me. HOWEVER, for fellow adult fans with extra cash who take a shine to my art, paid content could be a possibility in the future 👀

Interaction Guidelines!

Things I’m okay with!

- tagging my posts in any way you wish! kinning is fine! any ship interpretation is fine! any gender/orientation interpretation is fine! sharing your thoughts/opinions is fine!

- as long as you CREDIT me! using my art for icons/headers etc, drawing my iz designs, referencing my art, and reposting my art on other sites is all okay!

- asks or anons of any questions you might have about me or my content!

- asks or anons popping in to share thoughts, opinions and ideas! it’s always nice to hear from other fans!

- leaving comments in the tags/replies/reblogs of my posts makes me very happy!! tumblr is the only place I post my fanart and I love seeing what people think of it!

Things I’m not okay with!

- messages, reblogs, tags or asks that are blatantly rude or disrespectful! I really do not care what the subject or reason is, if you act like an asshole, I will not respond and will block you!

- asks or messages that say only ‘hi’ or ‘how are you?’ I have no problem with people trying to be friendly but I never have a single idea of how to reply to these kinds of messages, I’m so sorry 😂 please talk to me about fandom stuff though!!

- pressure to produce content! I like any other creator adore comments and compliments, but things like “DRAW MORE!!” “MORE ZADR!!” “WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO DRAW MORE!!” are not compliments!! it is in fact very off putting so please don’t do that! it will mess with my motivation! consider commissioning me if you want more content!

- if you are considering trying to be my friend, please be 20+!! I am not comfortable being friends with teens! nothing against my teen followers, I respect and appreciate you, but please understand I cannot relate to you on a personal level, and besides that, being friends with someone over 20 can be harmful and even dangerous for minors! I am an adult and only wish to have adult friends! please respect my wishes!

About my content!

So since what I like to draw is usually pretty different from the show, here are the basic headcanons for my interpretations of adult Zim and Dib~! Basically they’re queer 2019 millennials who are damaged but doing their best and enjoy niche interests and subcultures. Zim is the type who’s tough to handle but it’s worth it because he’s an amazing and colorful person underneath it all and only those he’s close to get to see that, and Dib is an eccentric but completely reliable, intelligent, passionate, and loyal friend whose company is a familiar comfort and a total safe space. They live together and are mutually beneficial allies to friends to lovers!

I HAVE A FIC, or at least an idea for one lol and when using my designs for the characters, my drawings will most likely be set in its context! Affectionately nicknamed the Soft AU, it’s centered around rest, recovery, affection, care and bonding… bc I’m SOFT OKAY 😂 You can read the full summary here, but here’s the gist!

A little over a decade after arriving on earth, Zim’s banishment is reinstated and as a result his entire base and all his equipment is confiscated, leaving him stranded on Earth with no way off the planet and in danger of being caught and killed by the humans. Dib offers him a deal that he’ll hide Zim instead of turning him in in exchange for letting him study Zim. They live together in Dib’s apartment and eventually get used to each other. Loneliness induced affection ensues. Hooray!!

And now for the boys themselves!

My Dib!

- 25, 6′2″, Mexican, cis boy, bisexual, bilingual

- is recovering from depression and anxiety and has ADD and insomnia, has had a nicotine addiction

- has a ton of ear piercings and a few facial piercings, as well as a few tattoos

- is still just as obsessive about his interests as he was as a kid, just with more curbed enthusiasm due to, yknow, depression. researching Zim however brings his enthusiasm back full force. he still sucks at taking care of himself when enthralled with his work but he’s getting there

- runs various blogs, forums, and youtube channels making content about cryptids and conspiracy theories, the ad revenue of which is his main source of income (he dislikes using his father’s money to support himself, but will dip into the family account occasionally)

- is very patient and can communicate and problem solve very well, and is skilled at handling various conflicts and mental issues

- still has his ‘I hate people’ attitude but is more open minded and understanding than he used to be, and more compassionate. he has difficulty trusting strangers but his friends and family are very important to him

- can be moody and dramatic but he’s a big sweetheart at his core

- being friends with Zim has made him more willing to enjoy acting like a huge dork and total weirdo, even in public

My Zim!

- young adult, 5′5″, androgynous presenting demi boy, panromantic demisexual

- has PTSD and anxiety, is recovering with help from Dib

- displays inhuman behavior such as hissing, growling, chirring, chirping, scratching/biting, screeching, territory guarding and dominance displays

- is a demi boy, meaning he identifies as mostly but not completely male, and is more nonbinary than cis, but he’s never given it too much thought because gender is stupid. he has little to no concept and zero regard for human gender roles

- is a SHIT who’s main entertainment is annoying Dib and ‘winning’ arguments, but Dib seems to get harder to piss off as time goes on, much to his confusion

- pitches a fit when he doesn’t agree with/doesn’t want to do something but can be swayed with rewards such as food, sweets, new clothes, video games etc

- rambunctious and high energy, he gets stir crazy often, but since he hates the city he and Dib often take car trips to more fun/nicer places outside the neighborhood

- moody and bratty with skewed logic but smart and more intuitive than he used to be, he’s more than a handful to deal with, but this also makes him the most entertaining person Dib knows

- after having the free time to discover the world of aesthetics, he becomes very much into clothes, make up, accessories etc (be they masculine or feminine) and enjoys making a hobby out of creating a unique self image using fashion (thus also subconsciously asserting his individuality)

- is much more dependent on Dib than he admits (or even realizes)

- his beliefs in nationalism, fascism and genocide are direct results of brainwashing and personality altering programs run by his PAK, and are not actually part of his core personality (these programs will be overridden and deleted eventually)

Side Note: I haven’t thought as far with the other characters but my Gaz and Tak are definitely lesbians 😂

And finally, my tag list!

#my art - things that I drew!

#my post - any post that I posted!

#asks - asks!

#text post - any text post longer than a couple lines!

#video - videos!

#audio - audios!

#canon - content from the show/comic/movie etc!

#creators - any content featuring the IZ cast or crew!

#memes - memes, shitposts, short comics, comedic posts etc!

#friends - friendship art between any characters!

#family - family bonding between the membranes/found family between any characters!

#ships - ship art between adult characters!

#suggestive - any content that could be considered sexual in nature!

#positive - fluff, friendship, wholesome content, uplifting content, characters being happy/cute/having fun etc!

#negative - angst, vent art, violence, mental illness, dark themes, characters fighting/being sad/getting hurt etc!

#kids - content depicting characters as kids/irkens as their canon designs!

#adults - content depicting characters as adults/irkens with noncanon designs!

#millennials - content depicting adult characters that includes any modern culture! (personal fave)

#aesthetic - highly stylized or surreal portraits centered around aesthetic themes!

ship tags!: zadr (zim and dib romance), tagr (tak and gaz romance), rapr (red and purple romance)

friendship tags!: zadf (zim and dib friendship), tagf (tak and gaz friendship), zatf (zim and tak friendship), tadf (tak and dib friendship), zagf (zim and gaz friendship), zag (zim and gir)

character tags!: zim, dib, gaz, tak, gir, red, purple, membrane, skoodge, gretchen, keef, spork, miyuki, recap kid, bg chars, ocs

[silverquillsideas]

Salmon and others were openly discussing rape and talking about drawing rape and there were people in the replies talking about how seeing a “rape drawing” changed the way they consumed content and shipped things (they meant that they liked the rape btw). If she hasn’t gone back to private, you can probably find those for yourself since they’re pretty recent. I thought you seemed nice but I’m really disappointed in you. Will be unfollowing and blocking.

Hello! I was debating on how (if at all) to answer this, since you seem to have already made up your mind to not hear anything further about this issue altogether.

But I do have a few things to say, regardless, because I found specific phrases you used, to be sketchy/unclear at best.

Warning tho : this is going to delve into a discussion of "rape and sexuality" from a real life perspective, since the fandom seems so bent upon drawing parallels to reality and compare fiction and irl examples. If you find that uncomfortable, block the tag "tw:rape" and scroll past.

_____

So, my first point of discussion : "Salmon and others were openly discussing rape and talking about drawing rape"

Putting aside the issue of the subject matter of the threads for a second, I'll focus on the other part : about *posting publicly*. I talked to three separate followers of the twt artist, who also happen to be my tumblr mutuals, and they basically confirmed the same thing : there was no "open discussion", in the sense, that, they did so either on Privatter (assuming you know how it works) or they did in the comment threads on their *personal twitter account*, and only those who were willing to engage in such a discussion, went ahead and joined. They did not encroach on anyone's space and invite them in forcefully.

I'm putting the screenshots of conversation I've had with one of my friends regarding this, and as you can see, none of it was *open for public viewing*

Also, here's the artist's own message that's pinned to their account :

Let me put this in perspective : suppose you're not into kpop (I picked a random example, btw) and find it weird and flamboyant, and you generally avoid it altogether. While scrolling through tumblr, you stumble upon a hardcore kpop blog, you're totally put off by the contents and you complain to your mutuals about how ABC person indulges in kpop and you found it weird and unappealing.

But my point is, there was nothing public about the said blog or account, because, by nature, every blog or account is a person's private space for expression of ideas. Yes, tumblr, twitter and other social media platforms are all *public* in the sense that they are hosted on public domains and anyone with an access to the Internet can stumble upon any website or blog listed therein. But, you, being a responsible, well discerning person, willingly stepped onto a personal blog or acc on which the owner was likely to present their own views, and started complaining about what you found there. Your statement implies, that you willingly browsed through the comment threads until the point you spotted these uncomfortable discussions and you voluntarily exposed yourself to the same.

My second point : "there were people in the replies talking about how seeing a "rape drawing" changed the way they consumed content and shipped things (they meant that they liked rape btw)"

I find it highly confusing how you generalised something as sensitive and complex as psychological behaviour on behalf of a bunch of strangers you never actually interacted with (or confirmed their views on the said matter) and proceeded to label them as "people who liked rape".

What does the statement "liking rape" mean anyway? And, does anyone who talk about or discusses rape, in the context of fanarts and fanfiction, and that too, "rape fantasy" in this case, (but I'll get to it in a moment) automatically becomes someone who likes the act? Or condones it happening in real life, to real people or situations? I'm curious as to which aspect of rape they talked about 'liking' (since your statement implies they explicitly stated so) : was it the pain, the trauma, the physical and psychological stress, or the violence and the sense of dominance over a helpless, real life person?

If you do have an answer supported by evidence, let me know, I'll modify my response gladly.

It brings me to my third point : these artists or the people who commented, were discussing, not about real life rape, but a fantasy situation in which they put two fictional characters together and made a fanart of them (the composition of the art in question is described in the conversation above).

Deriving pleasure from the actual act of rape or sexual violence is a pathological condition and needs medical or psychiatric treatment.

Deriving pleasure or indulging in paraphilic sexual fantasies, however, is not uncommon. I'll redirect you to @iamtrashforash 's post here that describes this issue more coherently. I'll also point you to articles written on PsychologyToday, based on research done on this specific topic of "Rape Fantasy" that I found, and I think everyone should have a look at them :

Article 1

Article 2

If I remember correctly, the actual comment I saw in the screenshot circulating around, regarding the controversy, went something along the lines of "I love seeing Ash's pained face in this situation", and that's what made people lose their minds. There was outrage over "How could you do that with Ash, a CSA survivor? It sends a bad message to them, it's triggering, it's disrespectful, you are disgusting, etc etc."

But, my own conversations with three people who are in real life CSA survivors, two of them who reached out to me in my DMs over the last two days, have given me a very different idea about what these people actually think regarding the art. Here's the hot take : they did not find it disturbing or offensive to themselves personally.

In fact, they pointed out, that they saw it as a fictional scenario, were well aware of the differences between the artist's intent and their potential real life behaviour (FYI, none of them drew the conclusion that either the artist or the people discussing it, "liked rape").

The fact that the comment threads were openly talking about indulging in such a fantasy is what seemed to baffle the more outspoken and outraged people, who proceeded to harass and send hate messages to the creators. But here's the fact : these fetishes have existed for as long as humanity has, and will continue to do so, regardless of whether you crucify a handful of people in a small corner of a fandom or not.

If you're familiar with the yaoi manga genre, or any adult erotica games (I can't cite any examples bc I don't have enough details, but I do know they exist), you'll find a plethora of works where all sorts of fantasy situations are presented : rape is fetishised, there's shape-shifters (vampires or otherwise), A/B/O dynamics, even bestiality. In other words, a major prevalence of themes like dominant, aggressive behaviour contrasted with helpless, passive behaviour as far as sexual situations go. And they are thriving. They have a huge pool of audience out in the world.

Whether these fetishes are "morally right or wrong" to indulge in, is not a question I have any authority to debate, because I'm not a clinical psychologist, or a behavioural scientist.

Personally speaking, I happen to be a demisexual person. Any discussion of sexual situations or scenarios outside of my own very narrow comfort zone or mental compatibility scares the shit out of me. And I find all of the above scenarios I described, as plainly unappealing and downright weird or scary. I will never, as long as I have my faculties in control, go out seeking any of them voluntarily, in either fanarts or fiction.

My point is, this is a complicated issue, I fully acknowledge that beforehand. We, as a fandom, got attached to Ash as a character, for so many different reasons. We all love him, respect him for standing up against all odds, and fighting against his fate all his life. That's the reason why the back-lash against these depictions got so violent, I think. People are more willing to see him heal, to see him make peace with his scars and move on. The general consensus with this line of thought was so ingrained in our minds, that people lashed out as soon as something "against the norms" and "potentially harmful" came to their notice.

But, the thing is, both these outcomes, are fictional. The fandom's biggest purpose is this : we weave fiction out of fiction itself. That's why we have fanarts and AUs and headcanons and a hundred other things. And different people will find different aspects of said fictional scenarios appealing. It's why we have so many ships on one hand and unfortunately, *ridiculous* ship-wars and toxic discourses on the other. But, it's okay to accept that there'll always be differences in such a wide space where everyone is coming together. It's okay to find content you don't agree with, and simply, move on.

But, I'll repeat myself : I'm not going to persecute people, who have carefully tagged, classified, and filtered their content, being mindful of the others in the fandom, and barge on their doors demanding "why they liked what they liked" and "how could they like such a thing??". Especially because it is fiction, involving fictional characters, separated from reality.

Had it been a real life discourse, involving actual people, I'd have definitely spoken out against it.

Also, to anon, if you find my views or ideas unpleasant, or find my completely sfw multifandom blog a safety hazard, then you're more than welcome to unfollow and block me. Your mental peace is all that I ask for. :)

[shellheadtmarc]

rules. tag people you’d like to get to know better tagged by. @grandzealot tagging. you.  if you’re reading this it’s your turn.

favorite color. normally it's turquoi, leaf green, and cherry red.  right now tho i'm all about pastel rainbows. top 3 favorite ships. oh boy.  uh.  okay.  we’re running with non-canon ships present on this blog, feat. some ocs and crossovers and aus.  bc we can.

tony x maccready (feat. @gwinnetts) has to be mentioned because those are the rules and mala started it with her answering this thing, so i gotta return fire.  like this is one of those ships that started out as a joke (i romanced mac ingame to test a romance mod bc he was tony’s companion at the time) and then here comes mala, knowing i’m easily enabled.  anyway, as unlikely as it is, and as many issues as they have (especially before the big getting together, ask me about mac’s frustration with the caps situation), like...they work really well together?  they have a similar sense of humor and mac’s mature and no-bullshit enough to handle tony on his worst days.  they compliment well?  mac’s good at things tony is abysmal at, and tony’s...well, he’s tony.  they’re stupid cute and i love them.  i also hate them a lot.

tony x anna (feat. @ofspaceandmyth) is another one i didn’t see coming, but it sure happened.  honestly, anna’s super great, like.  she’s got her own thing, it’s not tied down to tony at all (which is a thing i love and a thing he handles well - there’s a whole essay there especially centering on his origins as iron man but that is best left for another day), but they still work really well together.  anna overbaking is literally, like, my favorite thing, it really is.  and t b q h tony is the cutest doting dad, i love all three of them a whole lot.

tony & stephen & elle (feat. @rahasyamay and @gwinnetts) is a plantonic/familial ship, but they get a mention here just because we’ve put a lot of work into how their dynamic functions.  like we’re all moving down the hill to fiddler’s green for the latest iteration of this but i’m totally fine with that.  elle is a good buffer, i think, between tony and stephen - like.  elle being there i think also tempers what they would and wouldn’t do  as far as reckless shit in the wasteland goes, because it’s different - to a degree, i ain’t saying they ain’t reckless af bc they are - when there’s someone else depending on you, too.  like mac, it serves a purpose as a grounding for tony - all of his ships, romantic and non, in his fallout verses do.  anyway the trio is great and i love them and i love elle, and i love stephen and elle and i love that depending on the combination of the three that you get determines the mood of things.

honorable mention: tony x loki (feat. @benevolentgodloki) is not an official ship - they’re kinda...toeing their way there, but when we first started threading i was for sure tony would balk completely against he idea and bolt and instead he’s been softening up on loki like...more than i would have thought possible, tbh?  like it probably partly has something to do with the post nuclear apocalyptic setting, and partially has to do with being in close enough quarters with loki that - god or not - you’re gonna see people at their best and their worst and realizing hey, maybe the guy who attacked new york isn’t...exactly who you thought they were.  like there’s a tearing down of presumptions and i live for that shit.

and like...a million more ‘not quite there’ ships.  and what i mean is things that are def headed in that direction but aren’t quite at that point yet or haven’t been declared to be an official ship.  rest assured i love you guys, too.

lipstick or chapstick.  lip balm, i don’t like scrubbing crayons on my mouth.  but tbh i’m one of Those?  like i bake and set my makeup, and i have a selfcare routine, and i have more eyeshadow than one person needs, and i own more makeup brushes than you can shake a stick at, and i’m into diy scrubs, so i’m probably not the best unbiased source on this.

last song. qntal ; cupido

last movie.  uh....??  honestly i’m drawing a blank, i have no idea.  i don’t watch movies or tv very much at all.

currently reading. still the hobbit.  i haven’t had a lot of time to just sit down and read more than a few minutes at a time.

[yukipri]

YOI Future!Verse ABO AU, Visual Headcanon Web Charts #01

So I always wanted to make one of these. Turns out my headcanons for the most part are WAY too wordy for these things and uh, they’re a bit of a mess >.>;; BUT I hope nonetheless that they’re somewhat fun to read even if barely legible, it was fun to make ^ ^;

1. Super basic relationship chart of the core members of the lovely poly family in this AU.

2. “Adults Think,” the color of each adult indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

3. “Kids Think,” the color of each OC kid indicates their feelings towards the person to whom the arrow is pointing.

There’s obviously a lot more to it than what could be crammed in the lil text boxes, but a gist and pretty much the first things that immediately popped into my mind regarding their interactions. 2 and 3 also mostly show their thoughts while the kids are younger, which will change a bit as they grow up, to be covered in a future post.

*Recommended you right click view image to see full size bc the text is tiny oops

Because the text is so illegible, text only versions of charts 2 and 3 beneath cut, all elaborated quite a bit because I’m so rambly oops:

~~

IF YOU ARE NEW TO THIS AU: It’s Yuuri-centric polyamory in an ABO setting, Yuuri’s married to four mates (Victor, Yurio, Phichit, Minami) and they have OC kids.

BASICS of this AU

INTRO to how ABO works in this AU

OTHER POSTS (comics + illustrations) in the Future!Verse ABO section of my YOI Masterpost.

~~

Please keep ship bashing out of the comments/tags. Don’t like, just skip <3 Thank you.

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART WITHOUT MY EXPLICIT PERMISSION. More detailed rules available on my Rules & FAQ Post.

~~

Yuuri thinks:

Victor: Vitya I love you but there are some things I REALLY wish you wouldn’t encourage with the kids, I don’t care if you could do it when you were younger it’s terrifying!!

Yurio: Yura, how does it feel now that the kids all think you’re older than me? NO don’t use this as an excuse to call me baby-faced!!

Phichit: PHICHIT please knock some sense into the others, you’re my only hope!--NO don’t just sit back and laugh! I was counting on you!

Minami: Kenjirou, you’re my student and husband NOT my butler, I can get my own bags thank you very much.

Yasha: Darling you can wear whatever you want but PLEASE wear SOMETHING under that dress the old ladies at the park will never look at me the same again

Shura: You don’t need to try so hard to be a rebel, and you also don’t need to spoil Yasha so much. Just tell him no, he’ll deal.

Arisa: Darling it’s amazing that you can do that and I’m so proud of you but please don’t hack the neighbor’s security system again, it’s very hard to explain to them that my toddler was just stretching her intellectual curiosity.

Yuuji: Yuuji, your smile warms my weary soul and I’m sure you’ll inevitably be a little trouble maker too but let me be in denial a bit longer.

Victor thinks:

Yuuri: It’ll be fun, they can handle it, please don’t look at me like that, I’m (pretty) sure they’ll be okay...

Yurio: You may seem like the more responsible parent but you’ll always be my cute bratty student. Now that my seniority is less obvious though, I’m comfortable making you indulge my own brattiness too. what do you mean you were always forced to indulge my brattiness

Phichit: You may act like the most reasonable parent but I see through you--and I’m proud. We’re startlingly alike if I’m honest. Let’s conquer the world.

Minami: You may be a bratty puppy but I rest easy knowing you’re always be Yuuri’s side. Couldn’t ask for a more loyal or dangerous watch dog. Don’t worry I do think of you as human, really.

Yasha: Trust me, I know how fun it can be to tease your brother but take it easy sometime, yes? I love you having fun but it hurts my soul to see Shura have red eyes so often...though yes I do admit that’s cute too OTL

Shura: Sweet child, come here, did Yasha make you cry again? Daddy will give you all the hugs. Don’t run away just because Yasha’s in my other arm!

Arisa: I feel like your adorable eyes are judging me...and guess what, they’re still adorable!! It’s okay, you can judge me all you want! *HUGS*

Yuuji: I have dropped the dishes so many times because it looked like you wanted a hug...I can’t help it...you’re like, a super mini Yuuri...

Yurio thinks:

Yuuri: OI Katsudon, I made this new food thing, try it, am I better than Phichit yet? YEAH NO I know I won’t ever be a better all rounder than him but...what, it’s really good? W-W-WELL OF COURSE IT IS I KNEW THAT HA HA HA *flees*

Victor: I’m mature enough now to recognize what a brat you can be, not that I didn’t already know but--HEY DON’T LAUGH THAT WASN’T PERMISSION

Phichit: Okay FINE I admit I need your help...stop looking so smug! Yes, ugh, fuck that’s clever, alright I know (fuck it’s worse because he’s genuine and never follows up with “I told you so”)

Minami: YOU HAVE SOME NERVE CALLING ME YOUR RIVAL JUST BECAUSE YOU WON GOLD OVER ME TWICE, it was all thanks to Yuuri! NO I’m not being overly conscious of you as a competitor, ugh FINE I admit your skating really impresses me but FUCK YOU

Yasha: Brat, did you just...make me run around the house five times for no reason at all?? UGH I’m not even mad, I’m too tired and too used to this, it’s my own fault for falling for it every time...

Shura: What do you MEAN “I bet you cried a lot when you were a kid too,” don’t say that to me while CRYING like ugh FINE will it make you feel better if I said I did??? Please stop crying I don’t want you to cry OTL

Arisa: Risa, I don’t want to suspect you, but I have a hunch you might be the one putting the twins up to mischief and I think you’re still too young and I want to think you’re as pure and innocent as you look but...dare I trust my instincts on this...

Yuuji: YUUJI YOU EASE YOUR FATHER’S WEARY SOUL how are you so pure you seem to make my adult exhaustion melt away...

Phichit thinks:

Yuuri: Perks of marrying your BFF: know just the perfect amount to pamper and also to tease. And also know all the deepest darkest secrets you’re too embarrassed to tell your other mates. Shh it’s okay they’ll never hear it from me ;D

Victor: We had some rough moments early on but you’re a good guy, Victor. I recognize our compatibility. Let’s conquer the world together and present it to Yuuri.

Yurio: I’ll look after you, not-so-lil Russian, you leave your troubles to me. I know how vulnerable you can be and I see you as my own now.

Minami: Kenjirou may act like a super groupie but he has it together better than most of us. I trust him to still prioritize Yuuri even in situations where the rest of us are emotionally compromised, which gives me the confidence to go full offense.

Yasha: Oh, you say someone’s picking on Shura at school? Okay, so here’s what you do, and here’s how to pin the blame on someone else because we wouldn’t want Yuuri to be called to school yeah?

Shura: Your brother’s picking on you again? But you don’t want him to stop either? Well then, how should we solve this? Oops is he a future masochist to Yasha’s sadist...

Arisa: I see what you did there, very clever, I’m proud! But if Yuuri found out he’d have a heart attack, so let’s not do that again, okay? Here’s something even more difficult for you to try to figure out...

Yuuji: Yuuji sweetheart I know making Victor drop dishes is funny but Yuuri likes those dishes, one last time ‘kay? You can make him do other things equally amusing but slightly less destructive of our collective family property.

Minami thinks:

Yuuri: Y-Y-Yuuri-san, NO I still can’t take the honorific off, I RESPECT YOU TOO MUCH plus it makes it feel that much more intimate in bed *turns brilliant red to match his hair streak*

Victor: Victor look at what I taught the twins!! Aren’t they absolutely amazing?! They’re going to break all of your records! And I can tell you’re not even upset :’D

Yurio: I never mentioned rivalry, you were the one who used that word first? ;3 But in all honesty, it’s an honor to be considered the rival of Yuuri-san’s rival so I’ll fight my hardest to not let that title go to shame.

Phichit: The fact that you are both fun and terrifying is not news to me, I’m glad you’re my family and not my enemy. I’ve seen what you can do to your enemies. Participated too, actually he he.

Yasha: You and your bro are perfect angels and I’ll show you all the cool skating things! I’m so happy your enthusiasm hasn’t died as you’ve grown older <3

Shura: It’s good to cry! Cry all you want! I’ll cry with you too! It can be a real sobfest! And then Yuuri can bring us tissues and then it can be a snotfest! Whoo!!

Arisa: DARLING CHILD you are the sweetest and you’d never do anything naughty, I have not a clue what the others are talking about. *genuine*

Yuuji: *SOBBING*

Yasha thinks:

Yuuri: MOM IS THE BEST AND MINE, YOU CAN’T HAVE HIM, and that includes all you dads so back off ;P

Victor: Dad is weak to puppy eyes and will give me anything I want. His affection can sometimes be stifling, but I love him nonetheless.

Yurio: Dad always gets flustered really easily and it’s fun to test his boundaries. And push them. And break them. But he never snaps, I think he’s getting stronger...

Phichit: The really smart dad who sees through all the pranks but still plays along, even intentionally lets me finish playing my pranks on him. It’s a bit annoying even if I appreciate it. I gotta up my game.

Minami: Ken-chan’s the BEST and he and mum are gonna kick dads’ (Victor + Yurio) asses in the next competition. I’ll cheer for dads too but Ken-chan’s No. 1!

Shura: He’s fun to make cry because he gets riled up, but the best part is the comforting that I get to do afterwards because no matter how mean I am he still comes running <3

Arisa: I’d beat you up if you hurt my sister, except she’d do it first and better than I ever could so I’ll just be prepared and bring the popcorn and watch from the front row, maybe help with clean up.

Yuuji: He’s not as innocent as he looks but you won’t hear it from me. Let the others live in denial, come to the dark side in your own time lil bro.

Shura thinks:

Yuuri: I want mum’s attention but Yasha hogs it, but mum’s the best so he makes time for me too and not just for selfish jerks like Yasha. Even if I have to share. It’s okay. I love how mum loves everyone all the same.

Victor: Dad spoils me rotten but he’s not a good shield against Yasha because he also spoils Yasha rotten. He spoils everyone. It’s okay tho, dad has a lot of spoiling to go around.

Yurio: Dad sorta gets picked on too and I sympathize...it makes me feel better knowing he was probably just like me when he was younger. The hard part is getting him to admit it, but that’s what other parents are for.

Phichit: Dad holds the answers to life and the universe in his magic smartphone. He has yet to fail to answer a single question but I’ll keep trying.

Minami: Ken-chan always plays with us even when he’s busy and shows us all the cool skating things! I didn’t get why he wasn’t dad too when Yasha and I were younger, but I’m glad that’s fixed now, though I still can’t shake the habit of calling him Ken-chan.

Yasha: He makes me cry and is such a JERK but I can’t stand to be away from him, it makes me so anxious, and he gives good hugs too so I forgive him (am I being too easy on him...)

Arisa: I want to say I protect her but it’s honestly the other way around, the best I can do is make sure she doesn’t hurt herself because she’s really reckless and it’s TERRIFYING, I sympathize with mom...

Yuuji: PLEASE DON’T STEP ON MY LIL BRO, HE IS VERY SMOL, he looks like he would go squish with one step! Risa wasn’t this smol?? What do you mean I’m bigger now so my sense of size is biased...?

Arisa thinks:

Yuuri: I’m going to protect mum. He doesn’t need it, at all, but I can do it so I will.

Victor: Dad acts gullible but I’m not fooled. He’s weak to puppy eyes though, that’s for real. And I have the best puppy eyes, or second to Yuuji. I’m okay being second to Yuuji.

Yurio: Dad’s trying really hard but he’s also really gullible so I can’t help but tease him. It’s okay I won’t be too mean, and I’ll even reign Yasha back some.

Phichit: Dad knows I’m smart and will protect my bros so he gives me the tools and education to do so. I don’t think mum and my other dads know just quite how much but it’s okay. We’re not hiding it on purpose.

Minami: If you hurt Ken-chan, I’ll knock your teeth out. I’d say “with my fists,” but I don’t think I can reach. It’s okay, I’m creative.

Yasha: My partner in crime, he’ll follow my orders even if they’re impossible and will somehow make it work. Because Yasha’s a miracle-worker and I believe in him.

Shura: The only ones who can make him cry are me and Yasha. But we do it a lot. Which means he has no more tears for anyone else. Back off or I’ll make you disappear : )

Yuuji: He is my squishy smol. He’s smaller than me! He never complains when I hug him and squish his cheeks until they turn red, and then I feel a bit bad...

Yuuji thinks:

Yuuri: Mum is the best! He gives me a lot of attention because I’m the youngest, but I kinda want a younger sibling too. Dads always hush me when I try to bring it up and I don’t really get why.

Victor: Dad spoils me rotten and I kinda feel bad because he never says no to me (or any of us), but when I mention it he gets all teary eyed and spoils me worse...^ ^;

Yurio: Dad is too paranoid about my safety. I’ll be big and strong like the others too! Just wait! Look how big dad is, I’ll be that tall one day too. What do you mean, that’s not how genetics works?

Phichit: Dad makes the best food, I wish he were home more often...I know he’s busy with his ice show in Thailand and it’s really really cool but I miss him...

Minami: Dad says he hit his growth spurt late, because he presented late. I BELIEVE! I won’t be smol forever!

Yasha: Yasha-nii has really good instincts and is there when I need him. It’s like he has a special radar and then brings the whole cavalry. So I don’t need to worry about going anywhere by myself--what do you mean, I shouldn’t be wandering off in the first place??

Shura: Shura-nii got picked on again, it’s okay, here’s a cookie I made with Yuri-dad and here’s a hug, I have short arms but love power!

Arisa: She’s my favorite sister! Even if she’s my only one! She gets really proud when I say it and I’m happy she’s happy so I say it a lot.

[hunkkeiths-blog]

So I just scrolled 20000 years back on your blog like the creep I am and I saw you mention schizophrenic Keith headcanons but never actually saw schizo Keith headcanons and I'm 👀👀👀

once again thank you so much for sending this! i really really love this au but i never talk about it bc i feel like no one cares and this makes me sooo happy!

also sorry again for answering late i just wanted to be able to type everything relatively quickly and use a readmore

(i added links that lead to wiki pages to explain what certain stuff is, you don’t need to click them or anything)

ok so here goes

[Food mentions and slight emeto for this part]

Keith has a lot of trouble with food, both bc of sensory issues and paranoia

when its sensory, its mostly if the texture is too different to whats hes used to, or if theres too much taste and theres anything else (a sound, some lights flashing, whatever) hell get overwhelmed really easily. so he tries to stick to relatively tasteless stuff

Keith also gets a lot of persecutory delusions and some of the most recurring ones is that his food has been poisoned, having relatively tasteless food helps with not being as convinced of that

On good days (well as good a day as you can have when you think your food has been poisoned anyway), he can sort of just power through it and eat enough to not be starving.

On bad days, he either doesn’t eat at all, or if he only realises it after having eaten he becomes sick/makes himself sick.

Back on Earth, especially during his year alone, he had 3-4 “trusted foods/brands” and he almost exclusively only ate those

Once on the ship, things get very complicated, because from the start, he doesn’t trust the altean food goo (he still doesn’t if he’s entirely honest, but they’ve all been eating it and none of them are dead yet so if it is poisoned its slow acting enough) so he mostly only eats when hes absolutely starving for the first month or so before he slowly starts to eat more of the altean meals

He does however trust what Hunk cooks partly because he trusts Hunk, partly because Hunk eats it too, and (taste+texture of the food goo aside) hes always more comfortable when Hunk cooks.

[Warning ended]

While developing and after when he had it (which was 2 or 3 years before he entered the Garrison), Keith ended up almost entirely isolated from people, in part because he would willingly withdraw from others, in part because the people who took care of him after his father left/died (foster families i guess? i dont really know how the system works and i cant imagine how much worse it must be for a schizophrenic kid so) didn’t really know what to do with him because he had really bad emotional blunting

Because he was mostly left alone, he started focusing alot on the delusions he had at the time, the main one of which was that he just wasnt human (which yes turned out to be somewhat true, but it’s still a delusion). that led him to thinking of going to space because of a feeling that something would happen there. which led him to the garrison which is how he ended up there.

At the Garrison, he was amazing at flying and mediocre at best in all his other classes.

This is partly because outside of doing stuff that could actually directly get him to space, he wasnt able to get any motivation to do anything else. (even if he gets kicked out, he can just steal a rocket or something right?)

he also didnt really have any friends because he didnt approach anyone and more or less actively avoided anyone trying to get close to him.

the way he just was; never showing any emotion, barely speaking, the weird things he sometimes did, etc; sort of drove ppl away on its own

(this is also sort of the reason he didnt remember him and lances “rivalry” in s1ep1. he never actually noticed lance thought of him as a rival, he just thought lance was sort of loud)

Shiro ended up like being a mentor or something to Keith, and Keith wasnt able to really avoid him

They start off sort of rocky, because Keith hates interacting with other people, due to paranoid thoughts (”he can read my mind”, “he wants to hurt me”, and so on) that, while they werent nearly as bad as off meds, were still present even with medication.

Slowly though, Keith warms up to Shiro and starts trusting him (though shiro is never really sure because Keith doesnt show it at all)

Keith starts doing better in all his classes, because he’s interpreted that shiro will be extremely disappointed in him if he ends up getting kicked out because of poor grades, and hes terrified of disappointing literally the only person in the world he trusts

It also leads to Keith putting a minimum of effort into becoming at least somewhat expressive 

When the kerberos mission fails, keith is destroyed. all his grades almost instantly drop and he barely shows up to class because losing the only person he trusts essentially makes him totally apathetic, and go back to having alot of paranoid thoughts/delusions (mostly surrounding the garrison staging the entire thing, sort of fake moon landing style but with actual murder to make people back off on exploring space because of Something), and feeling like he’s being stalked by people (not entirely untrue tbh), and deal with anhedonia. and thats how he gets kicked out/how he drops out 

Living entirely alone (as in without any supervision) was hell for Keith.

Moving to the shack after dropping out messed with his entire routine, and without a relatively strict routine, he ends up forgetting his meds

Off medication, he had really really really horrible episodes that almost always ended with him getting hurt in some way

Off-meds, he starts his garrison/shiro conspiracy wall

He also found the blue lions cave during an episode

After a while (keith never tries to find out how much time he spent without his meds because he forgot about them), he ends up taking his antipsychotics again, and almost destroys the wall, except theres a feeling he still has that he rememebers he had during an episode.

He ends up going to the cave again, and “Holy shit that was real??” so he restarts his wall while being a bit more down to Earth.

The day shiro crashes on earth is one of the best days of his life bc, well, shiro, but also because he was actually right for once.

Overall, Keith’s pretty good at organising his thoughts and not speaking incoherently, but if hes at all stressed, hell go through a lot of thought blocking

It’s really annoying because Keith hates not being understood and not finishing his points, but often, even if the person hes talking to reminds him what he was talking about, he cant remember what he was going to say after

He also used to think that the thought blocking was aliens and/or the government stealing away all his thoughts to study humans (or, before the garrison: not entirely human entities)

His thoughts are alot more disorganised than his speech shows (under normal circumstances, there are occasions where he does get mostly incoherent). He’s learned to think of what hes going to say step by step before saying it

What he says often still comes off as not entirely thought out, rude, etc because thinking about what order words are going to come out of his mouth doesnt fix not understanding how to interact with others

And here’s a bunch of stuff i couldn’t really make long enough to warrant a separate section:

Keith stims mostly when hes nervous or bored, and he stims by scratching his nails against things, because he likes the sounds it makes.

[self harm (sort of)] at some point, the team notices that when theres nothing for him to scratch (like a wall or something), hell scratch at his own skin, because scratching fabric feels/sounds horrible, often until he scratches part of it off. so they make him these little squares of material to scratch at

Keith does a lot of magical thinking (i cant find an easy link for this but in this case its like seeing signs in things that are seemingly unrelated if that makes sense) where he’ll see a ‘sign’ and feel like he has to do something (what something is varies from something very specific to just “something”)

since he obviously cant always do what hes supposed to do after seeing the signs, hes started writing down everything so he can do it later (lance’s idea). it helps a lot.

Keith hates places with background noises that arent constant (like they stop and start, stop and start), even if they arent particularly loud, because he loses his entire train of thought whenever it stops or starts

Ok! that’s all I can think of right now, I hope this answered what you were looking for! 

I lost my entire train of thought at least 5 times while typing this so I’ll probably add more things in my tag later on when I think of them again!

I’m also writing an actual story with this, it should come out around the end of June if you’re interested!

[izzyovercoffee]

Do you have any ships in the clone wars/repcom fandom?

DO I

TBH I have a really… really long list of ships. I’m one of those people that could potentially ship anyone/everyone given enough time to come up with at least vaguely acceptable reasoning. 

I mean … I’m the one behind the ship of Mereel and The Stars so I don’t … uh, have a whole lot of requirements for shipping.

My lines are: Everyone is an Adult at time of ship; and any potentially coercive relationships are written with a very clear, honest presentation and understanding of that coercive nature (zero tolerance policy for romanticizing abuse).

Fair warning, though: I do have clone/clone ships, too, and I know that makes people uncomfortable — hence the warning. And for the record, any of the below ships? I don’t expect anyone else to ship it, and I don’t generally expect people to be down w/ it or write it, either. B’)

I also … have Mereel listed kind of a lot in here. He just has so much love to give, okay. B’)

and under a cut bc damn this got long

Republic Commando: 

Mereel and the Stars

Stars. Ka’ra. Ruling Council of Fallen Leaders. 

When Mand’alore die, it’s said they ascend to the stars. Is that where it ends, really, or do they become something more, something greater than they were in life? And if they do — do they interact with the people?

Do they keep favorites? Do they adore and adulate their champions?

And how difficult, exactly, is that relationship for the mortal who can’t quite reach out and touch the one he loves most?

Ordo and Besany

like honestly my OTP for the longest time lmao 

I never finished my ‘Are These For Me?’ 30 drabbles for them … but maybe one day. One day.

Fi and Ordo

Boy meets Boy. Boy compliments Boy’s skirt. Boy hugs other Boy so hard they hit the floor.

#true love

Besany, Fi, Ordo

Besany is the type of person who is so kind, and so considerate, and so understanding. And Fi … he needs that. He needs it just as much as Ordo needs it, and as they need each other, and Besany. 

Some might not find a closed polytriad “normal,” but if it works for them, then it shouldn’t be anyone else’s business. 

Darman and Etain 

My heart constantly breaks for them. They deserved so much better than what they got, and it kills me.

And their relationship was so … so good. So good, in the beginning. Tragic, what Kal did to them.

Atin and Laseema

They were lucky in that they weren’t Kal’s favorites, and so were able to fly mostly under the radar and out of his attention. Kal still held a lot of … really unhealthy financial control over them, but … I genuinely feel that Atin and Laseema could relate deeply on several levels.

They have… compatible demons, for lack of a better term. They balance each other. And Laseema was always an interesting character I wish we could learn more of — and her friendships with the rest of the clan. After all, she seemed to be the one in active communication with everyone. 

Niner and Boss

Listen … I love this ship. I feel like there’s a lot of UST going on whenever they’re onscreen, and it’s an interesting sort of dichotomy that goes on between them — two sergeants of two squads whose trainers viciously hated each other during training days. 

There’s a competitiveness there that can’t really be quashed, but there’s also an understanding that exists between them that’s unique to their experiences.

Jaing and Kom’rk

This is one of those incredibly obscure, controversial ships. 

Full disclosure: this is a pretty fucked up ship, and it’s mostly from the perspective of “wow, that’s kinda fucked up.” I don’t expect anyone else to ship it, and I don’t generally expect people to be down w/ it or write it, either. If they do, the fucked-up part needs to be recognized and recognizable, however obliquely, or it just doesn’t work. 

They’re two very damaged people, there’s no use shying away from that. 

I fell into this ship by total accident, going through all the nulls’ tags on ao3 years ago and stumbled on one fic, and like … since then, I haven’t really been able to climb out this hole.  

Corr, Ruusan, and Jilka

I am not a fan of Corr and Jilka, alone.

That said … I am a fan of Corr and Ruusan, of Jilka and Ruusan, and … of the potential dynamics of this poly combination, with the given that Jilka and Corr remain platonic as opposed to romantic. 

It just feels more … balanced? Also Rev @thesummerstorms and Gena @cassiansfuzzyjacket explain it way better than I do.

RepComm crack!ships:

these are very, very clearly not-canon and not to ever be taken as canon (by me, at least?) but damn. they’re nice to think about, and try to come up with ways in which it might work.

Etain and Mereel

“WHAT THE FUCK IZZY?” I KNOW! I KNOWWWWWW

But more seriously … Mereel was there every day for Etain during a very, very difficult time (the months after her almost-miscarriage). Of all the characters in the series during the course of the series, after Etain and Darman, Etain and Mereel spend the most unobstructed alone time together (about three months?) — and we would never know because, lol, the pacing and timeline of the series is not really presented in a way that makes that noticeable.

Mereel also does something with Etain he doesn’t do with anyone else, ever, that we see in the series: admit vulnerability. He’s genuinely vulnerable with her, in a way that he is not with anyone else. That means something — especially given the context that he doesn’t open up with anyone else, not his brothers, and never Kal. 

Someone that Mereel can be genuinely vulnerable with? That he must trust, implicitly, to share that vulnerability? 

And then you have Etain, who is isolated after the mess of pregnancy news blows up. She’s someone who doesn’t have anyone she can trust, or depend on, who isn’t looking to use her in some way — or someone that she can be equally open and honest with — in those months … right up until Mereel (and Rav), when she’s evac’d to Kyrimorut.

And when she is, she’s treated like a whole person. Not someone who’s just a vessel for a potential, not someone to be used or leveraged for misogynistic reasons. A genuine, whole, person who is highly intelligent, highly capable — and treated as an actual equal. She was not given that respect since the conclusion of Hard Contact (except, briefly, when hunting with Vau).

The whole situation, as terrible as it all is, allows for the foundation of genuine, real, trust to form between them.

There’s a lot of … well, there’s a lot of potential there. A lot of room for complications and conflicted feelings and angst — UST and one-sided pining and mixed signals and confusion and just raw feeling — and it’s all things that don’t necessarily need to be resolved negatively (or right away, or at all), that don’t have to end in heartbreak, that can be just as it is: complicated feelings that begin during a difficult time and, given room to grow, become something else or something more many, many years down the line.

Mereel and Boss

Don’t even look at me.

So this ship came as a result of SW RP (bc of course it did) and, tbh, they have a lot of … difficult commonalities and clashes of personality. Boss is a difficult man with a lot on his shoulders — a lot of responsibility, a lot of stress, just … a lot. And Mereel? Mereel is someone good at managing stress — out of necessity, and practice, and effort.

And the thing with Mereel is he’s fun, he’s easy, and he demands nothing. Boss doesn’t need to take care of him, because Mereel can take care of himself — and sometimes Mereel can take care of Boss, whether he likes it, or not (or likes to say he doesn’t when he does).

Boss certainly needs someone like that, especially after long days and hard nights with other people always needing him, depending on him. It’s good, it’s necessary, to have someone for whom he can truly relax and let his guard down around — that he can trust implicitly, and be allowed to be vulnerable, to have his ugly parts exposed, and still be loved unconditionally, because that’s just what Mereel’s best at doing.

Parja and Mereel

“SERIOUSLY?” LISTEN

This also came as a result of SW RP, and mostly takes place in an AU where … Parja and Fi’s relationship inevitably crumbles, and they split — but they split amicably, and remain friends. Parja remains a mechanic and never is forced to give up her shop because of (poor misogynistic writing and) Kal. 

Mereel and Parja and Bardan are all particularly good friends and get up to all kinds of nonsense and pranks, and prank wars.

And … sometimes, late nights spent tinkering on separate projects in the same space, late nights working on the same projects, late nights spent together — and sometimes Mereel can’t quite come clean that he needs someone, that well after the conclusion of the war he needs physical contact in order to sleep.

And after the end of what Parja put too much stock and energy into what she hoped would be a sure future, a sure thing — maybe it hurts too much to sleep alone, but it’s too much of a risk to fill that empty space with romance when she’s not ready. Why not someone she trusts, that she knows would never, not ever, not in a million years, ever cross that boundary — someone who would never violate that trust, never take the invitation to share her bed as anything more than just that: a mutually beneficial way to get some rest.

Sometimes feelings happen. Gradually, and slow, and sneaks up on even the most vigilant. After a while, it becomes expected. After a while, it becomes wanted. After a while, they become needed.

other ships I’ve fallen into that I don’t have time/want to explain:

FI AND SEV

Atin/Sev

Sev/Boss

Scorch/Sev

MAZE/ZEY

Jaing/Sev

Fixer/peace of mind

Uthan/Mij (but way more hostile on Uthan’s part)

Walon/his star-crossed princess (literally, a real thing. I can’t get over how this is an actual thing)

Clone Wars:

admittedly, it’s been a while since I watched the series all the way through, but … repeating the warning for clone/clone bc that’s a thing in here, and the explanations are shorter bc, again, it’s been a while.

Marshal Commander Cody and Captain Rex

Their personalities mesh so well together, and honestly they’re just … so compatible ??? They also work so well together, went through training together … if there’s anyone Rex can really trust implicitly, it’s Cody.

Their friendship grows over the series and expanded (Legends) materials, and just … it works, in the way they need it to work.

Echo and Fives

Just punch me right in the chest.

really any combination from Domino Squad

because we all need tragedy in our hearts

General Aayla Secura and Commander Bly

You know … for the most part, I’m a little leery on ships like this where there’s a clear and obvious potential for really serious coercion. Most Clone/Jedi-who-are-their-direct-superiors tend to fall into this category.

but I’m just a sucker for Bly-post-war angst, for the conflict of fraternizing with a superior, with trying to navigate that Aayla really did have his life in her hands, and then the conflict of navigating those feelings surrounding killing her at the end of the war.

I’m a terrible person.

Duchess Satine Kryze and Obi-wan Kenobi

let me just like … repeat the above. My one thing about this is that I hate how Satine was killed off for Kenobi-man-pain, and generally only want to know stories that you know … fix-it, lmao, or give her a more respectable death that was written with better care to her character and her arc

Ventress and Obi-wan Kenobi

All of that flirting went fuck and nowhere. What a hugely missed opportunity — especially when Ventress was trying to work towards being better, or making a life for herself, turn over a new leaf or whatever.

I mean, we all know she hangs out in the kind of tapcafs Kenobi loves to get drunk in, let’s be honest with ourselves.

clone wars crack!ships :

I’m sorry in advance lmao

Captain Rex and Lieutenant Mereel

“What the hell.” Listen.

“Did this come out of SW RP?” HOW DID YOU GUESS.

Much like the other ships with Mereel, it’s all contingent on … Mereel operating as a free agent — a solo operator. Mereel pulling strings and favors across the GAR to make things just a little bit easier for Rex, for clearing up or speeding up administrative bull shit so that Rex can focus on getting what he needs for his men in a reasonable amount of time — or free up some time for himself.

And with the way Mereel’s … operations tend to go, paths sometimes cross that didn’t before. 

Anyway, who doesn’t like camping?

Quinlan Voss and Obi-wan Kenobi

Listen … they have a kind of fun playfully antagonistic thing going on. I don’t know if I could ever seriously ship it, mostly bc everyone who falls in love with either of them straight up die, so we come to a “unstoppable force vs immovable object” impasse if this ship ever actually came to fruition.

that and fandom can be kinda … gross w/ this ship sometimes so I’ve been avoiding it lately for that reason.

Senator Padme Amidala and Duchess Satine Kryze

how can anyone watch the episodes where they’re together and not see how good they are together. and like, the men in their lives, cause their deaths. so why not just … leave their men for each other?

Everyone wins.

not exactly clone wars honorable mention:

Ahsoka Tano and Kaeden Larte

I ship it so hard. if only !!! if only they didn’t meet when they did, when Ahsoka wasn’t as wounded, still, from the fallout of the end of The Clone Wars. and all of that tragedy. i just.

I just !!! ugh. they’re so good together.

aaand I think that’s all of them, or at least all that I can remember off the top of my head for now.

[vagarius]

For the fanfiction questions thing: 1, 3, 8, 10, 16, 18, 22, 27, 31, 36, 40, 44, 46, 48, 50 and 51~

!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!!???!!!!!!!!!

okay now the actual words:

1. What was the first fandom you got involved in?

[also answered here]

Percy Jackson/Heroes of Olympus. It still sneaks up and slaps me in the face sometimes. Though I hated the ending of the last book but let’s not go there

3. What is the best fandom you’ve ever been involved in?

I mean??? I love the Boueibu fandom, because I feel like I know everyone (even if I don’t know everyone) and it’s nice seeing other people’s fandom things and being like ah, yes, you’re the one who - . And then people recognize you’re own fandom things and you’re just like????? But the fandom also isn’t is-anyone-even-home small *cough* starmyu *cough*.

So yeah I really like the Boueibu fandom kudos to you.

(Also a shout out to the Haikyuu!! fandom for their love of rarepairs. Or maybe that’s just me and who I happen to follow, lol.)

8. How did you get involved in your latest fandom?

What even is… my latest fandom??? The latest fandom I’m actually active in is Boueibu. I actually started watching Boueibu right after watching Hamatora because it was around the time everyone was comparing Kinshirou and Art, so that was like, half of what was making up the Hamatora tag. Then I watched the PV and went hiroshi kamiya and whoa look at that I’m on episode five already where did the time go? (Not even because I’m particularly fond of Hiroshi Kamiya (though I am), but because I’m always oddly proud of myself when I recognize voice actors? Idk why.) I got really into the actual fandom after reading some Enkin fics and also falling in love with the Student Council. The first fic I wrote for the fandom was actually for an exchange.

My latest fandom in general is Mystic Messenger. I’d been seeing stuff pop up for it for a while and then it showed up in my recommended apps on Google Play and I just?? What the hell, why not. Let’s do this. And here I am (though I’ve only finished Yoosung’s route so far ;;;; )

10.  Is there a fandom you read fic from but don’t write in?

Yes, very much yes. I’ve read fic for so many fandoms but have only gotten around to writing for 4 of them (5 if you include PJO but I haven’t written for it since I’ve been on AO3). The ones I can think of now are Daiya No A, Joker Game, All for the Game (book series), Kuroko no Basuke, Prince of Stride, Ao no Exorcist, Oofuri, Tsuritama…

16. Are their any popular ships in your fandom which you dislike?

From Haikyuu, I’m not the biggest fan of KuroKen and Kenhina (is Kenhina popular? I don’t even know at this point). And… Asanoya, I guess? It’s not that I necessarily dislike these three as much as I’m just meh about them.

There aren’t any ships that I’ve come across that I actually dislike from Boueibu, and the ones I’m meh about aren’t really popular anyway? So.

And Rintori from Free!. Idk why it just never clicked with me??

18. What ship have you written the most about?

Tsukkikage (hq!!), apparently, though I mostly write about platonic relationships, it seems like.

22. Is there anything you regret writing?

[also answered here]

If I posted it, I don’t regret writing it. I might not necessarily like some of my old writing, but I don’t regret it. However, there are some things I’ve written down or typed out and immediately deleted because hell no this will not see the light of day not on my watch why did I even think to put those words together what was I - 

27. What do you hate more: Coming up with titles or writing summaries?

[also answered here]

Coming up with titles. I love writing cute little (or heartbreaking) summaries, but titles? No thanks. It’s like I’m pulling words out of a jar, except the jar is locked, poisonous, and on fire. (Though I usually end up liking my titles, anyway.)

31. What’s the nicest thing someone has ever said about your writing?

[also answered here]

Literally anytime?? Someone comments?? I get really jittery and excited because wow someone wanted to say something about what I wrote??

While the last ask has my favorite comment, I’m going to compile some of the nicest things people have said about my writing just because it makes me happy and I can:

“goddd your writing is so beautiful i’m so jealous” - nardaviel

“and your writing is amazing, it does a beautiful job of evoking the quiet that theyre both having to deal with. i think the present tense is part of the effect because it makes it seem less like a recounting of events (which by necessity is an act of communication, and this whole thing is about an inability to communicate) and more like we’re experiencing these things alongside atsushi. but i think there’s more going on than just the choice of tense.. maybe part of it has something to do with all the parentheticals at the ends of scenes…? they seem like quiet little asides, thoughts that don’t make it out into the main narrative the same way thoughts aren’t making it out of atsushi’s head 3 tbh i don’t really know, i’m just thinking aloud because i’m trying to learn from your talent a;ljsd” - @nardaviel

“Your style is so pretty as always, I loved the descriptions and how you portrayed the characters’ thoughts and perceptions of the world around.” - you, actually

“I know that I’m gonna read this many times over in the future…. I need a moment.” - Rudxinna

“Kudos to you for keeping everyone so nicely in character, for fleshing them out so well as they age, and for showing just enough of each scene.” - chromyrose

“I loved this. I cried and laughed while reading it.” - Pechat

“You really have a gift for zeroing on these quiet significant moments.” - odoridango

“How is everything you write so amazing and perfect??” - odoridango [Honestly everything odoridango has ever commented makes my heart soar]

[I am currently basking in happiness. Thank you for giving me the excuse.]

36. What’s your favourite genre to write?

[also answered here]

Slice of Life, assuming that counts. I love the atmosphere.

40. What do you struggle the most with in your writing?

everything Plot, in general. Trying to connect everything into a coherent storyline. I find it easy with vignettes when you can get away with connecting them with subtleties or repeating lines, but having one event leading into the next without awkward breaks is a struggle. (Which is probably why I mostly stick with oneshots.) I also struggle with writing the beginning. I usually start in the middle of the fic, which will sometimes end up being the beginning anyway, orz.

44. What ship do you feel needs more attention?

[also answered here]

Just. All the platonic ships. All of them. I love platonic ships so much???? Give me all the friendship I will take it gladly.

From Boueibu, the third year OT4, as well as Kinatsuen and AkoIoRyuu (though I don’t actually ship the latter that much.) I feel like people really like them but there still isn’t that much content for them? though the only romantic ship i’ve really written is enatsu so i shouldn’t be talking

For Haikyuu!!, I’m especially fond of TsukkiKage and KuroKage, so. Also Yachi ships. They are adorable.

For Free!, I still miss reiharu, orz. I should write more for them. Other people should write more for them. More reiharu for the soul. Also Gou/Haru friendship??? It just occurred to me now but more Gou/Haru friendship would be amazing.

46. If someone was to read one of your fanfics, which fic would you recommend to them and why?

Hmmmm, I’d probably recommend an endless start of april, which is a KuniKage fic from hq summer hols. I really like the atmosphere, and how I formatted the fic. I also managed to stuff karasuno first year friendship in there. But mostly, I had a lot of fun writing it, and I think it shows. I’m overall really proud of it. (I’m also still really fond of fairy lights, lol).

48. Do you leave reviews when you read fanfiction? Why/Why not?

I try my best to leave reviews, especially when the fic made me really happy and/or really emotional. A comment can make my day, so I try to leave as many as possible. (Though I am guilty of not following through on this). I try my best to be detailed, but most of the time they end up just being really incoherent, orz.

50. How did you get into reading and/or writing fanfiction?

I think it started when I stumbled across a Lazel (PJO/HoO) fic over google search?? Then I read all the obligatory high school and harry potter AUs for PJO and then the tear jerkers and I was totally hooked?? And of course the first thing I wrote was for a rarepair, lol. After that I really wanted more platonic Jasico content, as well as a Nico-centric AU, so they were some of the first things I wrote about.

When I started really really wanting to write fanfiction, though, was after reading the fic Catch a Falling Star (free fandom come cry with me). It kinda became my fic writer’s dream to write a long one-shot like that (still kind of is, and is probably why I fell in love with long one-shots in the first place), and the imaginary friends concept has always stuck with me. That fic inspired me a lot, along with a few others. I’m still stumbling across fics where I go I want to write something like that, but that was definitely the start of it.

And here I am now, lol.

51. Rant or Gush about one thing you love or hate in the world of fanfiction! Go!

[also answered here]

For the other “also answered” ones, I wrote something new(ish, in some cases), but I’m gonna copy paste this one bc I’m not sure what else I want to gush about:

I hate fanfiction’s reputation????? A lot???? Like I’ve seen/read my fair share of horrible fanfiction (have more than likely written some) and, yeah, some of it’s just pointless fluff or smut or the like but???? There’s also some really really really meaningful stuff out there??? And even those that don’t have some life-changing meaning mean a lot regardless - there are fanfics that have lifted my spirits and honest to goodness probably saved me, ones that have made me laugh so ridiculously hard I’ve woken someone up and ones that have made me cry at 3 AM wondering how something this beautiful graced my eyes??? Like???? It might not interest you but give it a chance, or at least keep any trash to yourself (unless it’s like, legitimate trash, but. That’s a very fine line you’re walking. A very fine line.)

And because I don’t want to end on a hateful note:

I love the little communities fanfiction builds???? Especially in smaller fandoms, or in rarepair fandoms (for lack of a better word). I love talking to other writers when I can and seeing how proud they are and getting little comments and I just?? Fanfiction communities are actually great.

And once more for good measure: !?!?!??!?!?!?!?!!!!???!!!!!!!!! thank you!!!!!

Fanfiction Questions