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ssfghfrrggf · 3 years

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Heavy is the Head Chapter 3 Watch It

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Six months later…

Inside the house is so chock full of nervous energy, it practically feels like the whole place is full of static electricity, the apartment was almost worse. Between it being Casey's first shift as acting chief and it being Stella’s first shift as truck lieutenant there’s enough raw energy to power the city for like a month, not to mention everyone else being nervous to see how things will. And frankly, Kelly finds it stressful to be around. He’s given Stella three pep talks this morning, and now it’s time for him to sit back and let her be her and kick ass. The most relaxing place to be in the station right now is seated comfortably in his chair at the squad table.

“Excuse me, I was told to report to 51 as my assignment…”

Severide jumps a little at the sound of the voice behind him and spins his chair around to find himself looking across the bay at a familiar face. It’s been a long time since he’s actually seen the kid- Nathan had called him and asked to put him down as a reference on his CFD application, but the last thing Kelly ever expected was for him to actually get assigned to 51.

“Oh hey Kelly! I didn’t realize that was you!” Nathan says, immediately loosening up.

“That’s lieutenant Severide to you, candidate,” Severide says in the most serious tone he can muster. It’s so incredibly hard not to run over and give him a hug. He’s grown up so much since that day Kelly saved him out of the tipped over backhoe.

“Oh-” Nathan says, flustered and visibly distressed by Kelly’s comment. “Sorry-”

“I’m just messing with you,” Kelly chuckles and waves him over. The kid instantly looks relieved and hurries across the ap floor to get to Kelly. “Everyone’s gonna be thrilled to see you. Come on.”

They’ve barely made it through the doors before Herrmann sees Nathan. Kelly was hoping to get him in and get him to Stella and Casey before everyone mobbed, but it’s too late for that now.

“I’ll be damned! The savior of 51!” Herrmann cries. “Get over here!”

Nathan looks hesitantly up at Severide.

“The lieutenant wants to see you,” Severide says with a nod.

“Get in there!” Herrmann says ushering the new candidate into the common room. Severide follows from a couple feet behind. “Mouch! Cruz! Look who it is! It’s the savior of 51!”

“I don’t believe it! Hey kid!” Mouch says, getting off the couch to greet him.

Ritter and Gallo exchange confused looks.

“Back a long time ago, this lady tried to get 51 closed down, and this little bastard arranged a protest and saved the house!” Herrmann explains and throws an arm around his shoulders. Severide can see him blushing.

“He’s still gotta report in with Casey and Kidd,” Severide says to Herrmann, who inhales sharply.

“Hey, chief wants everyone in the briefing room,” Stella says poking her head into the common room. She looks a little less terrified than she did this morning, but she still sounds nervous.

Casey looks tense, like what he looked like when he got promoted to captain, but 10 times worse. Kelly feels a little bad for him; over the past couple months leading up to this, Boden put Casey in a charge of a lot of things to help prepare him for this. He’s ready for this, but Severide isn’t sure if Casey knows that.

“So we all know I’m no good at speeches,” Casey says as soon as everyone’s in the room. “So I’m not really going to try. There’s just a couple things we need to go over before we get started for the day-”

The bell rings and interrupts Casey mid sentence, and Severide can’t help but be a little amused, the city really is going to throw everything it’s got at him on his first day.

“Engine 51, Truck 81, Squad 3, ambulance 61, Battalion 25, multi vehicle wreck Dan Ryan Expressway.”

“You got this Case,” Severide says and slaps Casey on the shoulder as they all head to the trucks. Casey glares at him.

***

Stella pulls herself up into the front passenger seat of 81; it’s weird not climbing into the driver's seat. The space in front of her seems empty and new. Mouch climbs into the driver seat a couple seconds later and 81 rumbles to life.

“Okay, candidate, we're going to be riding into a mess,” Stella calls over her shoulder to the newest member of truck, who looks more excited than nervous or scared. “Highway wrecks can be more dangerous than fires. You gotta worry about the wreck and the cars passing by. I want you to stay with Mouch the whole call. Don’t leave his side for any reason. Got it?”

“Yes, lieutenant,” he says, his voice quivering with excitement.

“How many cars are we looking at with this?” Gallo asks, shifting in his seat.

“It’s looking like it’s going to be a pile up,” Stella says scrolling through the report coming on the truck computer. “There’s already two other battalions on scene.”

This is going to be a mess. She’d been hoping for a relatively calm shift as her first shift as lieutenant, but of course, almost predictably so, the universe had other plans.

***

The road is a mess as far as Matt can see, and the air is thick and hazy with smoke and exhaust from the endless expanse of cars spread across the highway as he steps out of his car. He takes a second to take in their section of the scene before reaching into his chief’s buggy and grabs his white helmet. It’s like a lonely silent coronation on a battlefield. He’s chief now. It didn’t feel real a couple minutes ago, but it does now as his crews arrive on scene behind him, red lights flashing and sirens screaming into the cool air.

***

“51 I want lines ready incase any of these cars flare up, 81 have your extinguishers on stand by and start extrication, Squad help with extrication. 61, start setting up for triage, and we need an LZ set up incase we need to call in a chopper,” Casey is barking orders almost before everyone is off the trucks. Stella is honestly a little surprised with how quickly their new chief was able to find his stride. With his calm and collected nature that seemed lost only a couple minutes before the call, the white helmet suits him.

“Mouch set up the LZ and keep Nathan with you, then start trying to see who all you can get out without extrication tools and send them to triage, Gallo get the spreaders and cutters off the truck, me and you are working heavy duty tools,” Stella orders, taking command of her crew.

***

“Anything off you see comes through me,” Casey says as people begin to break up to carry out orders. “Tanker trunks, anything that could be hauling hazards, I need to know about it.”

“You got it chief,” Severide says as he moves past him.

“Battalion 25 to main, request for additional med units and a water tanker to my location,” Casey says switching his radio over to main.

“Acknowledged.”

“Chief, we got a gasoline tanker about 100 yards down,” Severide’s voice sounds over the radio.

“Copy that, I’m sending a line down,” Casey replies and turns to Herrmann. “I want a line on that tanker in case a spark decides to make things exciting.”

“You got it, pull,” the lieutenant says and grabs Ritter. “Pull the three inch and get it to that tanker. I’ll be behind you with the wye and two sections of one and a half inch.”

The young engine firefighter is small, but he can run hoses better than anyone Casey’s ever seen. Herrmann made the right choice in having Boden bring him on.

“All units, I want the cars closest to that tanker cleared first,” Matt calls over the radio. “Clear out from there.”

“Main to battalion 25.”

“Battalion 25, go ahead main,” Casey says, studying the mess spread out before his eyes.

“Your extra med units are inbound, but we have a delay on that tanker.”

Casey lets out an angry huff of air before replying to the dispatcher. “I need that tanker. We’ve got an overturned gasoline truck here. We need more water.”

“Understood, eta is 20 minutes.”

Casey clenches his jaw in frustration, when his gaze settles on the new truck candidate. “Candidate, find a hydrant,” Casey orders, and Nathan freezes like a deer caught in headlights. “What’s the matter?”

“Lieutenant told me to stay with Mouch…” he says nervously.

“And I’m telling you to find a hydrant,” Casey snaps, not in the mood to get in a debate with a candidate.

“Yes sir,” the kid chokes out and takes off at a run down the empty road behind them.

“Kidd, I sent Marks to find a hydrant. We’re going to need it if that tanker goes. Mouch is headed your way.”

***

“Damn it,” Stella hisses as Casey updates her on his relocation of her candidate.

“What’s wrong?” Kelly asks, over hearing her angry noise.

“I had Nathan with Mouch for a reason,” she says flatley. Firstly no candidate should be running off on their own, and there’s a lot for him to learn from shadowing Mouch, especially on a call like this.

“Chiefs are gonna be chiefs,” is all Kelly says in reply, casting a nervous glance over his shoulder at the tanker truck.

Stella’s not happy about Casey’s decision to move her guy, but that truck goes and engine doesn’t have a hydrant, they're all screwed.

“We got a spark!” Herrmann shouts and no less than a couple seconds later one of the cars next to the overturned gasoline truck goes up in flames.

“Son of a bitch!” Kelly hisses and ducks grabbing Stella by the coat and pulling her with him.

Stella shakes herself free from his grip as she recovers from the wave of heat that hit them.

“Your probie better hurry up and find a hydrant, or we’re all toast,” Kelly comments under his breath and then ducks off to help Cruz.

“”Lieutenant, foams mixed in we’re clear to spray,” Ritter calls and picks up one of the lines they have stretched.

“Marks, any luck on a hydrant?” Stella asks, keying her radio. The water in 51 is probably enough to put out the car fire, but if spreads to the truck leaking fuel onto the road, they’re going to need the hydrant.

***

“I’ve got a hydrant.” Nathan replies to his lieutenant, his heart pounding in his throat. He can see smoke rising in the air from the wreck down the road from him. Every part of him is itching to be back at the scene helping.

“Ritter’s coming to you with a supply line,” Lieutenant Kidd says. “Hang tight at the hydrant until he gets to you.”

“Yes lieutenant.”

***

“Lieutenant, the driver’s still in this truck!” Capp calls from a good 20 feet away where he’s standing next to cab of the tipped over truck.

Stella can see Kelly freeze and look up from what he’s doing with Cruz. Casey freezes too and the chief and lieutenant make eye contact. It’s always baffled Stella how the two of them communicate on a scene; they have their own silent language. They just seem to know exactly what the other one is thinking.

“You have like two minutes, Severide,” Casey says, answering the question Kelly never asked.”Engine, keep that line on the fire, everyone else it’s time to pull back.”

“I’m not going anywhere until Kelly and Cruz are out of there,” Stella says, it’s always a risky move defying Casey, and it’s probably a thousand times worse to do it now on his first day as chief.

“Lieutenant, I said pull back,” Casey snaps, pinning her down with a glare.

Stella clenches her jaw angrily, but obeys.

“51 is hooked up!” Ritter’s voice comes over the radio.

“Run another line up here,” Casey replies.

“Copy that, chief.”

***

“Kidd, I need to see you in my office,” Casey says before Stella even has her feet on the ground back at the station.

“Aw, somebody’s in trouble,” Kelly teases and pokes her in the side as she walks past him.

“Don’t even joke,” she replies and follows Casey to his office.

“What’s up Chief?” She asks, closing his office door behind her.

“I can’t have my officers second guessing my orders on a call,” he says bluntly, and folds his arms over his chest. “I know you care about Severide, but that doesn’t mean you get to undermine my authority.”

“Yes, Chief,” Stella says, biting back the urge to argue.

“Further more, this isn’t the first time we’ve had this conversation,” Casey adds. “Can I count on you to lead? Being a leader you have to put personal feelings aside for the sake of the team.”

“Excuse me?” Stella replies, raising an eyebrow at her chief.

Casey shakes his head. “Don’t challenge my orders again.”

“Yes sir,” Stella says stiffly.

***

“Gallo, Mouch, Marks, on the Ap floor. We’re doing drills,” Stella says blowing through the common room like a storm.

“But I was helping Ritter with dinner-” Gallo starts to say, making Ritter wonder once again if his friend actually knows the tiniest thing about reading situations, because if he did Darren is about 90% he would not have just tried to argue with Lieutenant Kidd. It’s obvious she’s pissed about something and looking to blow off steam.

“App floor, now. 50 push ups,” the lieutenant snaps.

Gallo opens his mouth, and Ritter elbows him in an attempt to save him from getting his head bitten off.

“Just go,” he whispers to his friend, who thankfully complies without another word.

As soon as all the truck members have emptied out of the common Severide and Herrmann whistle in unison.

“Heaven help their souls,” Herrmann says, shaking his head and looking back to his book. Severide looks a little more concerned and lets his gaze linger on the door to the bay before returning his attention to his crossword puzzle.

“You guys, did you know Mouch could still do push ups?” Cruz asks coming into the common room a couple minutes later with a grin on his face. Tony and Capp aren’t far behind him. “And lieutenant, Stella should become a drill sergeant.”

Severide leans back in his chair and frowns. “What’re they doing out there?”

“When we left, push ups,” Cruz says, plopping down on the couch. “We decided to head inside before she tried to make us do em too.”

Severide doesn’t say anything, he just gets up and leaves the room.

“Hey, Ritter, what’s for dinner?” Cruz asks and changes the tv channel.

“Hey!” Herrmann protests looking up from his book.

“Oh come on! You weren’t even watching!” Cruz protests.

“No, but I was listening!” The engine lieutenant argues. “Switch it back!”

“No, you and Mouch always watch what you want to. I’m watching what I want to while he’s out doing drills.

***

“Hey, chief, you want a smoke?” Kelly offers, poking his head into Casey’s office. He can see the chief is busy and absolutely buried in paperwork.

“Maybe in like five years after I have all this crap filled out,” Casey replies, shuffling papers on his desk.

“I’ll save you a cigar then,” Kelly replies with a chuckle. It’s like when Casey got promoted to captain, but worse. He feels bad for him, but it’s a little amusing.

“Don’t laugh! This isn’t funny!” Casey snaps, but for the first time since this morning he seems more at ease and a little amused.

“Sorry Case, but it is a little.”

“You better watch it! I’ll promote you so fast just so you have to deal with this crap too!”

Severide raises both hands defensively. “I will just go back to my office. No need you for you to do anything drastic. I apologize your majesty.”

“No, it’s fine. I honestly thought you were coming in here to try to fight me about Stella,” Casey says and leans back in his chair.

“I wasn’t aware that was something that needed to be done,” Kelly says and steps all the way into the office and closes the door behind.

“It’s not. She argued with an order on the call, I told her not to let it happen again,” Casey replies.

***

Casey is grateful when Severide nods understandingly and doesn’t immediately jump to Kidd’s defence.

“It’s not my job to fight her battles for her, even if I want to,” Severide says and leans against the door frame. “She doesn’t need me to come in and rescue her. But there’s a lot going on in this house. There’s a lot of new stuff to get used to. It’s a learning curve for everyone, don’t forget that Casey.”

Casey sighs. While he can’t be having his officers second guessing him on calls, Severide does have a point. But he can’t let people get comfortable with disobeying orders or arguing. He let that happen years and years ago with Andy, and he died because of it.

“Thanks Sev,” Matt says.

“Yeah, and hey I can make Capp and Tony come help you with paper work if you want,” Severide offers, opening the door again.

“That’s really generous of you, Kelly. Thank you.”

“Anytime,” Severide says with a cheeky grin.

“Get the hell out,” Casey laughs and makes a shooing motion with one hand.

“Yes, chief,” Severide laughs and ducks out of the room.

Casey sighs and returns his attention to his mountains of paperwork, and remembers what he was about to do before they even got called out to the freeway wreck “Oh, hey Kelly wait!”

“Yes sir?” Severide says spinning on his heals and standing to attention.

“First if you don’t stop mocking you I’m going to write you up for being disrespectful,” Casey laughs.

“Sir, yes sir,” Severide replies and solutes.

“I’m going to kill you,” Casey shakes his head.

“I’ll tell the union,” Kelly snaps back quickly. “I think chiefs murdering firefighters is frowned upon.”

“Oh, they’ll side with me when they find out how annoying you’re being- no, can you get Nathan Marks and send him in.”

“Wow I’ve been demoted to erond boy-”

Casey glares at Severide.

“Yeah I’ll go get him,” Kelly laughs. “Is that all you wanted?”

“Yes, now go away!” Casey replies through a laugh. He’s grateful Kelly was able to make up for them not being able to go smoke. His messing, even if it was a little extra than normal, made things feel at least a little normal again.

“You wanted to see me, sir?” Nathan asks, knocking on the door frame of Casey’s office a couple minutes after Kelly left.

“Yes, I did,” Casey says and stands up. “Your proper introduction to the house got a little interrupted this morning, and I personally didn’t get to extend a proper welcome. So I’m doing it now.”

“Oh, thank you chief,” Nathan replies. It still feels weird being called chief. Like it doesn’t quite fit. “It’s an honor to be here serving with you guys. This house did so much for me.”

“And what you did for it hasn’t gone forgotten either,” Casey replies with a fond smile. The kid standing before him saved this house. “I was thrilled when they told me we’d be getting you. Let me know if there’s anything you need.”

***

“You wanna unscrew the screws on the probie’s bed tonight?” Gallo asks coming back in from doing drills and grabbing an apple.

“No…” Ritter replies slowly. “That would be mean.”

“No, it’d be hilarious, that’s what it would be,” Gallo says around a mouthful of apple. “We gotta do some messing with the new guy.”

“Do you really think that’s a good idea right now, though?” Darren asks. He mostly doesn’t want to do anything mean to the candidate on his first day, but everything also seems really on edge because of the recent changes in leadership. “I feel like everyone’s on thin ice right now.”

“That’s why it’s exactly the right time to do it. Messing around and playing pranks will get things back to normal-”

“What are you two knuckleheads talking about?” Herrmann asks, coming into the cooking area to pilfer from the fridge.

“Nothing,” Gallo says, suddenly looking very interested in his apple.

“Yeah-huh,” Herrmann says looking unconvinced.

“He wants to unscrew the legs on probie’s bed,” Ritter says, holding his friend’s gaze, who looks at him in betrayed shock.

“Oh, yeah, you should do it,” Herrmann shrugs, but really seems more interested in the yogurt he’s swiped from the fridge, than the conversation at hand. “Something's gotta be normal around here.”

“See! Herrmann thinks it’s a good idea!”

“Yeah, or he wants to see us get our heads bitten off!” Ritter whispers.

“You’re so boring.”

“Actually…” Darren says, a better idea coming to him, one that probably won’t get them in as much trouble, but will still satisfy Gallo’s need to prank Nathan. “I’ve got a better idea.”

***

“Did you say something to Casey?” Stella calls to Kelly, as she walks out into the bay. It comes out a little more angry than she means it to, but she is a little angry. She doesn’t need him fighting her battles for her, even if it did soften Casey up a little. Kelly looks up from his crossword puzzle looking surprised and equally confused.

“About what?” Kelly asks and tosses his pencil down on the table.

“Chief ripping me a new one- I didn’t even tell you about that-”

“Take a breath Kidd,” Kelly says calmly and stands up.

“I don’t need you fighting my battles for me.” She knows whatever he said to Casey he was trying to help, and it did help, but she can’t always have Kelly swooping in to save her. If she’s going to be a lieutenant she needs to handle these things herself.

“Stella,” Kelly says a little firmer this time and puts both hands on her shoulder. “I don’t know what exactly happened this morning. And really that’s between you and him. The only thing I told Casey was that this whole thing is a learning curve for everyone, and that he shouldn’t forget that.”

“Oh,” Stella says and deflates a little. Ever since her first talk with Casey she’s been so amped up for a fight. “Sorry.”

“It’s okay,” Kelly replies and wraps his arms around her in a comforting hug.

“I just feel like this big ball of stress, all wound up and ready to burst,” she mumbles and rests her chin on his shoulder. Having him close makes her feel a little better and a little more relaxed.

“You’re doing great, Stella Kidd.”

Stella leans in a little closer to Kelly and as she does so the tones sound.

“Truck 81, person trapped.”

***

“Go get em’,” Kelly says encouragingly as Stella pulls away from him to run to the truck. He wishes he could go with her; he knows whatever the call throws at her she can handle it, but the instinct to protect her and be there to catch her if she falls still tugs at him. He’s never been much of a worrier, but even before she made lieutenant, he’d always get a little pang watching her climb onto 81. Now it’s worse.

***

There’s a woman waiting outside for them waving her arms frantically and shouting when they arrive on scene.

“You have to help him!” she’s crying before they’re even out of the truck. “I told him a hundred times not to try to work on that damn pick up of his!”

“Ma’am what happened?” Stella asks, forcing herself to be calm. This is her first solo call. There’s no chief giving orders, it’s just her and her instinct.

“He was working under the truck and the engine fell on him,” the woman cries, grabbing hold of her coat.

“Okay, I need you to show us where he is,” Stella says, this time she actually is calm as she silent reminds herself this isn’t her emergency, it’s this poor woman’s. “Gallo and Marks, you two stay out here, I’ll radio you when I know what we need. Mouch you’re with me.”

Gallo and Marks both look disappointed but don’t argue with her. Mouch just nods and follows her and the woman to the back yard.

“You awake under there, sir?” Stella asks, laying on the ground and pearing under the truck.

“Oh, she didn’t call 911 did she?” the man groans, answering her question.

“She did, and from the looks of things she did the right thing,” Stella replies, switching on her flashlight to get a better look at what they’re dealing with. “You got a name?”

“Doug.”

“Lovely to meet you, Doug. I’m Stella. And I’m gonna need you to stay still for me, okay?”

The main part of the engine is pinning the man to the ground, but it’s still attached to the truck in a couple places which is probably the only thing stopping it from crushing him all the way. If they move it wrong it could come down all the way and kill him.

“Gallo, we need cribbing, air bags, jaws, and a rope bag,” she says, keying her radio.

“You got it lieutenant.”

“That sounds like a lot of stuff, am I going to be okay?” Doug asks, sound nervous now.

“Yeah, you’ll be fine. I just wanted all our bases covered,” Stella replies and scooches a little closer to him to get a better look at his injuries. “Can you tell me where you’re hurting?”

“My chest… it’s hard to breathe,” Doug wheezes, in the short amount of time since she’s slid under the car with him, he’s started to look more flushed and weak.

“Okay, that’s normal,” Stella says reassuringly. “And it’ll feel better once we get this thing off of you, but I am going to go ahead and call EMS so they can check you out when we’re done, okay?”

Doug nods.

“81 to main, I need an ambo dispatched to my location.”

“Acknowledged.”

“Lieutenant, we got the cribbing,” Gallo says, pearing under the truck.

“Take half of it and get on the other side, we’re going to prop the thing up with it. Mouch get in the hood and see if you can attach the rope to the engine and anchor it off somewhere to stop this thing from falling any more,” Stella says as she grabs the first couple blocks of cribbing and slides them under the edge of the engine. “How we feeling Doug?”

“I’m doin okay,” he mumbles, but doesn’t seem to be doing all that great.

“I’m all good on this side lieutenant,” Gallo calls from the other side of Doug.

“Good, now we just gotta get this thing up.”

***

“What do we have?” Sylvie asks as she and Mackey make their way to the back side of the house. Stella and the rest of the crew already have the victim on a backboard.

“Minor crush injuries, some labored breathing, but he should go to Med for a full check up,” Stella reports as Mouch, Gallo, and Marks load the backboard onto the stretcher. The lieutenant helmet suits her, Sylvie had always been of the opinion that her best friend would make a great leader.

“Okay, thanks,” Sylvie says as the bring the stretcher back around the house. “We’ll see you guys back at 51 later.”

***

“Hey, Mouch, take a left up here,” Stella says as they’re making their way back to 51.

“You got it.”

“Alright stop right here,” she directs right before they pass one of her favorite doughnut places in the city. Mouch looks a little surprised but does as he’s told. “Circle the block and come back and get me.”

She climbs out of the truck and heads for the doughnut shop. She feels bad for running them all on drills so hard just because she needed to blow off steam; she’s been on the receiving end of that with Casey, all of them but Nathan have, and it’s something she always hated. So now she’s going to try to make it up to them, doughnuts won’t fix everything but the way to firefighters’ hearts is through their stomachs.

---

“Okay, eat up ladies,” Stella says, climbing back into 81 with a box of doughnuts.

“Careful, it could be a trick,” Gallo says, stopping Marks before he can grab one of the doughnuts.

“Shut up and take the doughnuts,” Stella quips.

“I wanna know what the occasion is,” Gallo replies, his tone thick with scepticism.

“I’m proud of you guys. You all did great this morning on that pile up and you did great on that last call,” Stella replies.

“Awww, she feels bad for being mean earlier,” Gallo teases, with a cheeky grin.

“Watch it, or I’ll give all your doughnuts to Severide,” Stella warns.

Gallo shrugs and takes a doughnut. Mouch gives her a knowing nod and mumbles something about how he’ll have his back at the station so he’s not eating and driving.

“Truck 81, are you available to go back in service?”

Both Gallo and Mouch groan at the sound of the dispatcher’s voice coming over the radio.

“Just leave her hanging a second,” Galllo pleads.

“I want a doughnut before we do anything else,” Mouch adds.

Stella rolls her eyes and picks up the radio. “We’re available, main.”

***

“Hey, candidate come here,” Gallo says beckoning to Nathan.

Nathan looks at him warely, he’s been warned that fire houses are places of pranks especially for the new guys, and he’s been waiting for something to happen all day.

“Come on!” Ritter says a little more enthusiastically.

Nathan doesn’t know either of them very well, but Ritter seems to be the more trustworthy of the two other young firefighters, and like he’s too nice to pull and pranks. Gallo just seems devious.

“Yeah, what do you guys need?” Nathan asks, finally making up his mind to bite the bullet and walk over to them.

“We need you to make dinner,” Gallo says and hands him the spatula.

“What-”

“It’s a sacred tradition that the candidates cook,” Gallo says, “And see, me and Ritter haven’t been candidates for a hot sec, and yet we’ve been stuck cooking, but now you’ve freed us from that responsibility.”

Nathan sighs and takes the spatula; he’s not really sure if this is better or worse than being pranked. He wasn’t really expecting to be cooking today.

***

“This ain’t half bad,” Herrmann’s the first one to say anything about Nathan’s cooking.

“Yeah, good job candidate!” Casey agrees, raising his cup in Nathan’s direction.

“It’s my mom’s recipe,” He replies proudly.

“Well your mom’s got a good recipe,” Cruz adds, getting up for his second plate of lasagna.

“Who’s the best cook you guys have ever had?” Nathan asks, sitting back in his chair. He’s so glad the lasagna was a success, he was half expecting it to fail like it usually does when he tries to make it.

“I’d say Mills,” Cruz says sitting back down at the table.

“That’s just because you weren’t around for the Casey, Darden, and Severide epic trio,” Mouch says with a fond smile. “Those three knew how to cook.”

“No, me and Darden knew how to cook, Severide knew how to stand around in the kitchen and pilfer while looking like he was cooking,” Casey corrects.

Severide laughs. “I’ve never had to cook once in any of the years I’ve been here.”

“Well maybe we should make you,” Stella says, prompting a couple nods of agreement.

“I don’t think anyone wants that. It’d be worse than Otis’s cooking.” Severide’s response prompts groans from Casey, Mouch, Herrman and Cruz.

“Was Otis bad at cooking?” Gallo asks, and for the first time since being at the house Nathan realizes that Gallo must’ve been the one who replaced Otis on truck.

“The worst!” Cruz says with a laugh. “He was so bad we had to stop letting him cook. It was me and Darden up until…”

“Until we got Mills,” Casey finishes for him, and the room falls quiet for a minute. Nathan can’t help but feel awkward sitting there, he only briefly met Otis once or twice and Darden had died a while before he even met Kelly. He can’t help but wonder if Gallo feels the same way he does.

“Well, I think I’m going to go try to catch some early evening Zs,” Gallo says, stretching his arms and breaking the silence. “The way today’s going, who knows whether I’ll actually get any sleep tonight.”

“Me too,” Ritter says, scooting out his chair. “Lasagna always makes me sleepy. I’d suggest you do too, Marks. Lesson number one about the fire service, you sleep whenever you can.”

The idea of some down time relaxing in bed does sound nice, and all of the older firefighters seem to have had their moods sullied, so he gets up and follows the two of them back to the bunk room.

“Um, guys. Where’s my bunk?” Nathan asks, discovering that his bad is no longer sitting in his assigned corner.

“What do you mean, it should be right...?” Ritter trails off as he walks over see what Nathan’s talking about. “That’s a good question. They did assign you one, right?”

“Yeah, this morning. I made it up and everything. It was right there,” Nathan insists. It was right there.

“Wow, losing your bed on the first day,” Gallo chuckles shaking his head. “Chief’s not gonna be happy if he has to buy a new one.”

“It’s a bed! It can’t just get up and leave!” Nathan protests.

“Come on, we’ll help you find it,” Ritter promises.

Nathan is really pretty sure this is the doing of these two, but he’s going to go along with it because he needs to find his bed.

***

I thought you youngsters were going to bed?” Herrmann asks as Gallo, Ritter, and Nathan come back into the common room. Nathan looks like a man on a mission.

“We were, but Marks here lost his bed,” Gallo replies, and it’s all Severide can do to not snort. He’d watched Ritter and Gallo move his bed out into the bay.

“I didn’t lose it,” Nathan says defensively. “Someone moved it.”

“Probie, why would anyone move your bed?” Casey asks, in a completely serious tone.

“I don’t know, sir,” Nathan replies, starting to get a little flustered.

“Well you better find it,” Casey says, keeping his voice dead serious.

“Yes sir,” Nathan chokes and heads toward the bay doors. Severide gets up and follows him, and everyone else follows suit, obviously wanting to see how this prank ends. The candidate makes it a couple steps out into the bay and stops. His bed, nightstand and lamp are set up nicely in the middle of the app floor.

“Really guys?” he says turning around to face the whole group. Everyone’s starting to chuckle. Nathan holds their gazes for a couple seconds before shrugging and walking over and plopping himself down on the bed, as he does so it gives out and falls on the floor. He lets out a surprised shout and the shock on his face is priceless. This time there’s no holding back the laughter. Ritter and Gallo share a victorious high five, and Nathan joins in the laughter.

When Severide saw them moving the bed, he thought it was a risky move with how high strung everything at the house has been this shift, but they got everyone laughing so it’s actually the best thing they could’ve done.

***

“So, lieutenant, how was your first day?” Severide asks, tucking his arm around Stella’s shoulders as they leave the station to head home.

“Well, I got yelled at by my chief, and then I took it out on my crew, something I promised myself I wouldn’t do, there was a massive highway wreck…”

“Sounds like an average day,” Kelly says comfortingly and kisses the side of her head lovingly. He’s already heard from his fair share of people that Stella did a great job, so he knows she’s just being hard on herself. “And don’t pay any attention to that crusty old chief.”

“No, definitely pay attention to the crusty old chief. He can have the both of you demoted right back down to candidate status like that,” Casey says behind them, and Kelly ducks his head. He had no idea Casey was right behind them. “I’m kidding. You both did great, especially you Kidd, Mouch said you really kept your head screwed on out there today.”

“Thanks Chief,” Stella mumbles.

“You two going to Molly’s for some day drinking and celebrating surviving the first shift with this new order?” Casey asks hopefully.

“Nah, sorry Case,” Kelly replies. He and Stella had already made plans to do some special celebrating involving the shower, the bed, and later beer and ice cream on the couch. “We’ve already got plans.”

“That’s fine,” Casey shrugs. “See you guys around.”

“Should we go to Molly’s?” Stella asks after they’ve parted ways with Casey.

“I mean I personally like the idea of our other plans…”

“Yeah, but doesn’t seem a little lonely to you?” Stella asks nodding toward Casey, who’s fumbling with keys by his truck.

“He’s got Brett and everyone else.”

***

It had once been told to him by Boden that leaders lead from the front, but also that the front is a lonely place to be. Matt thought he understood it when he got promoted to captain and kept getting in disagreements with Severide- it had been lonely not leading things right alongside his best friend, but this is worse. He and Kelly didn’t get into any fights, but he’s the boss now… two ranks above Severide. Their rolls as leaders are now very different, and Matt can already feel the shift in people’s attitudes toward him, like they’re trying to figure out if he’s just the boss and if he can even be their boss and their friend. He can even feel it from Sev.

“What can I get for you chief?” Herrmann asks as Casey sits down at the bar. The Engine lieutenant is the only other person in the bar.

“Whiskey,” Casey says flatley.

“No gentle morning drinking for you this morning than, huh,” Herrmann jokes.

“No, he’ll have a beer.”

Casey is taken aback to hear Severide’s voice from behind him, and the squad lieutenant sits down on a bar stool next to him.

“And his lieutenants will be paying for it,” Kidd adds and sits down on Casey’s other side.

“I thought you guys had plans,” Casey says glancing from Kidd to Severide.

“Yeah, but none of them seemed as fun as having a drink with your sorry ass,” Severide says.

“You guys didn’t have to cancel your plans,” Matt says, but he’s really grateful they’re here.

“Oh, we didn’t really have much to actually cancel,” Stella says and pats him on the back.

Casey smiles at his three lieutenants; leading from the front doesn’t always have to be lonely, not if you’re leading the right people.

***

“Hey! Chloe! You didn’t tell me you were coming to visit!” Cruz cries happily as his wife comes into the station. She looks like she’s ready to pop at any second.

“Well, I’m not allowed to work, so I didn’t have anything better to do,” she replies with a happy smile and sits down in the chair Gallo pulls out for her.

“Well, you’re always welcome here,” Casey says sipping his coffee. It’s nice to see her and Cruz so happy.

“Do you need anything?” Cruz asks, rubbing his wife’s shoulders and looking down at her lovingly. The moment, however, doesn’t last long because the bell rings.

“Squad 3, water rescue…”

“Just get the candidate to get it,” Cruz says quickly and kisses the top of her head before running toward the bay doors.

“Be careful baby!” Chloe calls after him as he disappears through the doors.

“Hey, Candidate, see what she needs,” Herrmann calls to Nathan who’s over pilfering the fridge.

“I’ll have a glass of water, Herrmann,” Chloe says, giving a Herrmann that says all too clearly he’d better be the one to get her the water.

“Yes, ma’am,” Herrmann says and moves to the kitchen, but before he can get to the cups the bell sounds a second.

“Engine 51, residential fire alarm. No smoke showing.”

“Guess the candidate will have to get it,” Herrmann says with a shrug. “See you in a little while kiddo-”

The tones drop again.

“Truck 81, Ambo 61, single car accident.”

“Damn, no one said the Q word did they?” Casey asks as the room full of firefighters clears out.

“You’re not going with them?” Chloe asks as Casey fills up a glass of water for her.

“No,” Matt replies and sits down next to her, setting the cup down in front of her. “They’ve got it covered. If they need me, I’ll go.”

Matt’s never liked sitting out on calls, and as a new chief he certainly doesn’t want to make a habit out of it, but all of those calls sounded relatively small. And someone should stay behind and keep Chloe company, especially with her being so close to her due date.

“Have you guys come up with a name yet?” Matt asks, leaning back in his chair.

“Not yet, we have a few ideas floating around, but nothing final,” she says, rubbing her tummy with one hand. “Oh-” she sucks in a sharp breath and winces.

“Are you okay?” Casey asks, sitting up alertly.

“Yeah, he just likes to kick,” Chloe chuckles, but breaks off and clutches her stomach with another sharp gasp.

***

“Alright, we got you buddy,” Joe says as he and Tony haul the victim into the blow up boat, while Severide pushes him up from the water. Tony throws a blanket over the guys shoulders and directs him to sit back near Capp with the motor.

“Alright, you’re next Lieutenant,” Cruz says and grabs one of Severide’s arms. Cold water splashes him and reminds him again how absolutely stupid it was of their rescuee to be doing anything in the water. Severide pushes himself up ward as together Joe and Tony pull him up. As far as water rescues go, this one was pretty tame.

***

“I’m going to run to the bathroom if that’s okay,” Chloe says standing up, after a while of the two of them just sitting and bouncing back and forth with small talk.

“sure ,” Casey replies and sips his coffee. Chloe makes it a couple steps before stopping as what looks like water splashes on the ground.

“Oh,” she says looking down at the floor, she sounds less surprised than Matt feels. The first thing to cross his mind is panic.

***

“Battalion 25 to Squad 3, are you clear on the call?”

“Yeah, we’re clear Chief,” Severide replies, picking up the radio. “We’re getting ready to head back to quarters, what do you need?”

“Reroute to Med,” Casey replies.

Joe leans forward in the back seat so his head is poking between the driver seat and the passenger seat, a nervous feeling settling in his stomach. He can tell from the tone of Casey’s voice that something’s happening, and the reroute to Med means it’s probably something bad. The first thing he can think of is that something went wrong on a call with another company. “Lieutenant, what’s going on?”

“What’s going on, Case?” Severide asks, flashing a quick glance to Cruz.

“Chloe’s in labor. I’m driving her in my buggy, but you need to get Cruz there.”

No one even has to say anything, Tony flips on the sirens and lays on the horn. Joe’s stomach jumps into his throat, and he feels like he’s about to throw up. He’s had nine months to prepare for this, and yet he’s not even remotely ready for it. Not only that but he’s miles away from his wife and his son who will be coming into the world any moment now.

***

Chloe screams, and Matt wants to join her, but the only thing he can do is step on the gas faster.

“Hold on just a little longer, we’re almost there,” Matt says trying to force calm into his voice. He’s delivered babies on the side of the highway in the middle of a pile up before, and yet he’s freaking out over this.

“Don’t tell me to hold on! You drive faster!” Chloe shouts as they pull around the loading doors to the hospital and Casey slows to a stop.

“Okay we’re here!” He says and jumps out of the car to help her out. April and Dr. Manning are already waiting for them with a stretcher.

“Okay, honey, we got you,” Natalie promises and helps Chloe onto the stretcher. “And we have a room all ready.”

“Where the hell is Joe?!” Chloe shouts as they roll her inside.

“He’s coming, he’s coming, I promise,” Matt assures her as Maggie stops him at the doors of the ER.

“Sorry chief, you gotta wait out here,” Maggie says apologetically.

Casey tries to follow Chloe with his eyes, but she soon disappears from sight. Casey is about to make some argument when the roar of the squad truck’s sirens blares outside the doors of the hospital as the truck rumbles to a stop. The thing isn’t even all the way done moving before Cruz is jumping out the back door and running inside.

***

“Where is she?!” Joe cries as he sees Casey standing with Maggie. He can barely breathe. It’s happening. The baby is coming. It’s happening!

“Come on, I’ll take you to her,” Maggie says before the chief, who looks a little panicked himself, can say anything.

The elevator ride and everything else is just a blur to him. He’s pretty sure Maggie is talking to him, but he’s all tunnel vision, worse than some wide eyed rookie on their first structure fire; the only thing that matters is Chloe and their son.

“Where’s Joe!? I’m not doing this without him!” Joe can hear his wife shouting even before Maggie opens the door to her room for him.

“I’m here baby!” Joe cries, running to her side and taking her hand in his. “I’m right here, Chloe. You don’t have to do anything without me.”

She smiles at him for a half a second with exhausted relief and then pain spreads across her face and she squeezes his hand and screams.

“There we go, push!” One of the doctors says encouragingly.

Chloe screams louder and squeezes Joe's hand even harder. He screams with her.

“One more big push!”

Chloe lets out one more scream, tears beginning to streak down her cheeks, and after one long heart stopping moment, another cry joins hers. And as the doctor hands them their son he realizes his wife and the baby aren’t the only ones crying.

“He’s beautiful Chloe,” Joe chokes as they cradle him between them. He can’t believe it, he feels like if he so much as blinks it will all somehow disappear, and there’s joy deep down inside of him that’s like nothing he’s ever felt before. It’s like all the happiest days of his life don’t even compare in the slightest.

“Brian?” Joe breathes quietly. It feels right, and like the only name that makes any sense.

“Brian Cruz,” Chloe agrees and leans her head against Joe’s shoulder, both of them unable to take their eyes off the baby.

“Hey, Joe I think you should come bring your son to look out the window,” Dr. Manning says, after what feels like an eternity of him and Chloe sitting in awed silence.

“What?” he asks, a little confused.

“Just come over here,” she says nodding her head toward the window. He looks to Chloe who gives him a nod okay. So he scoops tiny baby Brian into his arms and carries him over to the window. Down below them in the parking lot are 51, 81, 61, the squad, and even Casey’s battalion car, all of them lined up neatly with lights flashing, and everyone standing in a neat line in front of the trucks. They must see him standing in the window because they all salute while looking up toward him, and they give off a couple blasts from the truck horns. And Cruz starts crying again as his 51 family welcomes its newest member into the world.

#chicago fire #chicago fire fic #cf fic #one chicago fic #cf fan fic #please reblog if it wouldn't be too much trouble or completely obliterate your blog aesthetic

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scarletwinterxx · 3 years

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Timeless pt. 6 - Doyoung AU

For my other works you can check them out here, and for my other story series’ you can check them out here.

All works are copyrighted ©scarletwinterxx 2020 . Do not repost, re-write without the permission of author.

PART ONE || PART TWO || PART TWO.5 || PART THREE || PART FOUR || PART FIVE || PART SIX || FINALE

Doyoung motioned for me to go ahead so I did, him following closely behind. The place looked the same, if anything it looked like no one lived here. The place was spotless, furniture's looks unused, the only sign that someone’s living here are the shoes by the front door and the few fruits on the basket.

I continued to look around, not noticing that Doyoung was now standing beside me and waiting for me to say something

“Oh I uh- I didn’t really think this through” I mumbled, nervously fidgeting with my fingers

“Clearly, why don’t you take a seat? Do you want anything to drink?” it wasn’t like he was being cold, he just sounded tired.

“Water sounds good, thanks”

With that he walked across his kitchen while I sat by the island, just watching him. I realized I looked a bit creepy just watching him like that so I settled my eyes on my lap.

“Here you go” I hear him say, making me look up. I mumbled a quick thank you.

Doyoung just stayed on the other side of the kitchen island that separated the kitchen and living room, leaning on the counter behind him with his arms across his chest. His gaze never leaving me, I felt tiny under his gaze.

“You know, you said when I come back you’ll be smiling at me” I mumbled, I’m not sure if he even heard me with all the mumbling I’ve been doing. I don’t even know why I keep on mumbling

He let out a chuckle before speaking, “It’s been a long day for me, and clearly I didn’t expect you to be back”

“I didn’t either”

“So why are you back?”

“I just felt like it’s time” I gave him my answer, after that there was just silence.

I know Doyoung has a lot more things to say, questions to ask like he mentioned in his letter but right now no words are really being spoken between us

“Are you okay?” his question caught me a bit off-guard

“Me? Yea I mean as okay as I can be”

“That’s good to hear”

Then silence again

“Doyoung-”

“I-” we both spoke at the same time,

He motioned for me to continue on, “Go on”

“No, you go. Ask away, that’s the least I could do” I couldn’t even look at him, feeling too nervous under his gaze. His silence just added to my fuel to my anxious nerves.

All I heard was him taking his keys from the counter then walking towards the door, that’s only when I looked up to look what he’s doing

“What are you doing?” I asked him

Doyoung had one hand on the door and another holding his coat,

“Somewhere, want to come with?”

“Weren’t we about to have a very serious talk?” I asked back

“We will, I just suddenly felt like going on a trip” he shrugged

I stood up from my seat to follow him, when we got to his car he still haven’t said where we’re going. It looked like we were going away from the city

“Are you okay?” I asked him the same question he asked me, looking over at him I can see he was thinking about an answer to give me

“I’ve been worse, been better too” he answered

“How about now? what do you feel now?” I asked, he gave me a brief glance before looking back on the road

“I’m thinking whether this is actually real or I’m back in my office passed out and dreaming”

His answer broke my heart, I knew I hurt him but hearing him say it hits me like a thousand bricks.

“Sorry” was all I could say, how I wish I could mend what I broke

“The worst part is this wouldn’t be the first time I’ll dream about you being here, with me. Then I wake up and realize you’re still gone”

I tried to discreetly wipe the few tears that escaped, I knew there were some tears that were bound to be shed, I didn’t know it would be this bad

“You should hate me, after what I did. You don’t deserve that”

“No I don’t, but I want to know why you did it” he replied

“Because”

“Because what? You got tired of me? of us? you got cold feet? you were scared? Any reason would be better than having no reason at all”

“Because I love you!” I screamed, catching both of us by surprise. It was the first time I’ve ever said that I loved him outloud.

“You loved me, that’s the reason why you left me? because you loved me?”

“The irony right. There we were, about to get married and spend the rest of our lives together. You would think I would be the happiest girl. I was. Remember when you felt that feeling of being seen for the first time...”

“All our lives, you were all I saw. Even when you didn’t need me, I was there ready to drop everything just incase you do. Even when Joy thinks I’m so stupid for just not telling you I liked you all this time but instead I drank my feelings away and accidentally confessed to you...”

“Even when you were happy with someone else, I was happy seeing you happy. Even then, I was there.”

I wiped the furious tears that are flowing down on my face, trying to suppress the sobs as I try to speak

“I was scared that it wouldn’t be like that for all our lives, I didn’t give myself the chance to see anyone else because you set the standards so high I wouldn’t even look at another’s guy way if it wasn’t you. All the time I was gone, I learned how to love me, I learned to be independent, I learned to live with just me. I’m not scared of being alone, don’t get me wrong. But I also learned that I won’t be able to love anyone else the way I did with you, it’s scary to think you’ll only feel like that once in this lifetime”

“Did you ever think to ask me how I feel?” Doyoung spoke up, his voice softer this time as if he was scared he was going to make me cry if it goes one decibel higher

“You have a tendency to not say what’s on your mind, You keep your distance” I answered, “I knew, I just wasn’t sure because you never said anything”

“You’re right about one part, I might have never said it but in my own ways I tried to show you. Remember when you missed prom? I didn’t want you to miss out so I threw you your own prom night. When you got drunk on your birthday? that was the night I knew I couldn’t keep away from you. You looked at me like I put all the stars in your sky, who else would ever see me like that?”

“Why didn’t you say anything?” I asked

“I was scared too, Was it worth risking a lifetime of friendship for my own selfish want? I already had you in my life, I was okay to take what you were ready to give. It just seems like we were both waiting on each other”

How can two smart people be this dumb. I can already hear those kinds of comments from our friends. And I agree, we could’ve avoided all this trouble if only we said what we really felt

“We’re kind of dumb aren’t we” I told him, looking out the window to see the scenery passing by

“We are”

For a while neither of us said anything. The silence didn’t feel heavy this time, the atmosphere didn’t feel suffocating. We still have issues to work through, we’re taking one step at a time.

“Doie”

“Mhm”

“I missed you”

I didn’t hear a reply from him, instead I feel his hand reaching out for mine. Intertwining our fingers together.

After our little drive last night, Doyoung dropped me off at Joy’s place. I felt bad for keeping him out til late last night since he still had work the next day but the hug he gave me told me he didn’t mind. He just held me so tight against him, I can tell he was still trying to figure out if it was a dream.

“It’s too early for you to be smiling, and where were you last night?” Joy asked

“With Doyoung” my answer made her almost spit out the orange juice she was drinking

“Excuse me?! You were with who?”

“Kim Doyoung, you know that tall dude you’re friends with. My supposed to be fiance” I answered

“Okay okay hold up. I’m going to be late so we’ll continue on with this conversation later” Joy said as she pick her stuff from the counter, “You’re staying here tonight right?” she added

“Where else would I stay?” I asked back,

“At Doyoung’s since you’re back together or whatever”

“It’s not like that” I mumbled, and it is the truth. I’m really not sure where our conversations leads us, what we’re calling this relationship or whatever

“Okay well see you later, Bye”

I spent the rest of the day productively. Since I’m moving back here, I was finishing up with my new working arrangements. It was a good thing that the company I worked for had an office branch back here. After talking about my plans to move back here, they courteously allowed me to switch branches.

I didn’t even notice it was already late afternoon when my phone rang, Doyoung’s phone flashing on my screen

“Hello?” I said as I pick up

“Are you free tonight?” his question took my surprise, wondering what got him to ask that

“Uh- I guess?”

“You guess?” he chuckled, “I mean, yes. I really didn’t make any plans tonight. Unless you call ordering take out as plans then yes I’m free”

“How about instead of take-out, you can have some home cooked meal?” his question got me smiling already

“I would never turn down good food, why? Are you cooking tonight?”

“If you come over, then why not” I don’t why but his statement got my blood rushing to my cheeks

“Okay, sounds like a plan”

“Okay, should I pick you up from Joy’s?” Doyoung asked, I could he was enjoying this. I was too. Whatever this was.

“If it isn’t too much bother then sure”

I was never like this but his invitation got me scrambling to the bathroom to get ready, I had to remind myself it was only dinner but I was still nervous. It felt like I was going on my very first date.

The thought making me blush yet again.

After struggling to pick an outfit, an activity that shouldn’t have been as hard as it was, I finally settled with some comfy knitted sweater paired with simple jeans. I tried to make it seem like I’m not trying but still looking cute.

This whole finally confessing to him thing got me feeling nervous all of a sudden.

“Hey, you look flushed. Are you okay?” were Doyoung’s first words when I opened the door for him

“I’m alright, why?” I asked back

“You look so red, are you sure you’re okay?” he asked again, laying the back of his hand on my forehead. For the tenth time today, this guy got me blushing yet again.

“Yep, should we go now yea that sounds good let’s go” I told him so fast then pulled him out of Joy’s apartment.

The ride to his place was less hectic, we just talked about how our day went, what he’s been up to these days, and all that. It was easy to fall in a conversation with him, I admit I missed this too.

As promised he cooked dinner for us, it was nice. Better than I remember, I was suddenly reminded how he used to come to my place to cook us dinner even after a long day at work

“Thank you for tonight, I missed this” I told him, we’re now cleaning up the dishes we used. He insisted that he would just clean it up later but I didn’t want to leave it out. Plus he already cooked for us, it was the least I could do.

Passing him the last plate I washed while he pats it dry. I wiped my hand on another towel and leaned on the counter beside him

“Me too” he was looking down, a small smile on his lips

He looks so adorable I wanted to kiss the little smile on his lips

Wait

I thought, looking around as if someone heard what I just thought of. My eyes as big as saucers.

“Y/N? You okay?” He asked, putting away the last plate on the cabinet beside me head. My eyes following his movements.

“I actually have a question” I answered, now that we’re on this new chapter of our relationship and we definitely learned from past mistakes I’m going to ask instead of guessing like we did before.

“What exactly are we? I know I just got back and we still have a lot to talk about, but it would be nice to know what we are or if you don’t totally hate me”

I looked over at him, waiting for an answer. His gaze wasn’t on me, jaws tense, lips pursed,

I’m starting to think it was a bad idea that I asked when suddenly I was trapped between the counter and his body. My eyes level with his chest. I couldn’t bring myself to look up at him yet, so I just stayed frozen. My hands clutching on the counter behind me until it turned white.

“I’m going to throw that question back to you, because I already told you when you’re ready, in your own time, place and pace, come back home. Now that you’re here, I’m not going to let go of you. Are you okay with that?”

Before I could give him an answer he was speaking again,

“We don’t have to go back to what we were before. If I’m being honest, I don’t want to. If we’re going to do this, I want us to do this with just us and no one else dictating what to do with our relationship. Just you and me”

“You and me, I like that” I repeated with a smile.

I feel his hand under my chin, raising it so now I’m looking up at him eye to eye

“I’m sorry it us this long” he whispered

“I’m sorry I walked away” I whispered back, his finger gently caressing my cheek as if I was the most fragile thing

I don’t know if it was just me or the space between us was getting smaller and smaller yet it felt like he was still to far from me.

“I’m never letting go of you now” he told me, his forehead now resting on mine. He was so close to me I could feel his breath fanning my face. I can already tell my cheeks are as red as they could be right now

“Okay”

and with that he closed the gap between us. His lips landing softly on mine.

In that moment I saw our whole history play before, when we were kids playing in my backyard, to our awkward teen years, to getting our college degrees to almost getting married. Our whole timeline replaying in my mind, a smile making it’s way on my lips

When we broke apart, we didn’t dare to break from the hold we had on each other. His arms around my waist and my arms around his shoulders,

“What got you smiling like that?” he asked then gave me a little kiss on the nose

“Just how long it took us to get here, honestly I would do it again if it meant this is where we end up” I mumbled, relaxing in his arms. I’ve never felt more at home.

It doesn’t matter how long it took us to get here because my mom was right, love like ours is timeless. It’s the kind of love that you can’t measure with time. We’ve loved each other on our own ways all throughout the years we’ve known each other. Now we have all the time in the world to give the love we both deserve.

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diedieri · 3 years

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WIP - Unfinished- Holiday Brickercup (that sounds like a cookie)

So I really really wanted to get this finished the for Holiday but..Kinda lost steam.

I loved the idea of fluff n smut and I was like I need to get some Brick and Buttercup action so it doesn’t bleed too much into the main fic (LOLOLOLOL WELP)

so...this is unfinished, it’s a one shot, who knows maybe I’ll feel motivated later. I had a whole vision for this and for a Butch x Buttercup one shot too

alas...

I legit have not reread a damn word of this.

Little ficlet under the cut. I guess a bit of a warning-- i love all the dumbass holiday movie tropes. xDDDD;; so that’s what this (and the other) were supposed to be. Self indulgent lol WHEN AM I NOT YOLO.

If motivation does hit me, i will prolly put the finished product up on AO3

happy holidays merry christmas, mask up and stay safe

Christmas.

Cookies. Presents. Families. Snow. And escape plans.

Year after year, Buttercup had told herself she was going to skip it. Tell her family oh sorry, she had other plans. Every year, she came closer than the last. Last year had been that final straw. Buttercup, the only single sister watching everyone laugh and clap at the serendipitous surprise of both Blossom and Bubbles being proposed to. Buttercup was happy for them, and hateful for every family gathering to follow. Every time her sister’s promised they knew a girl, they knew a guy, that she would just love if she gave them a chance!

Buttercup hadn’t been looking for love or waiting for it. There was a city to save. Work to be done.

So this Christmas, she had a plan. From Halloween on she’d been dropping hints and planting the seeds of her having someone to see. Being late due to a date. At last when Blossom proposed the time the meet at the house, Buttercup laid out her cards.

“Oh, this year I’m actually going out of town! It’s nothing, big…Just.” She had to downplay it and let her sisters assume it was her pride getting in the way. They were elated and made her swear next year she’d insist the plans be back at the Professors.

It would have been just as easy to stay home in her apartment to play out her rouse. The more Buttercup had begun to imagine her would be date, the more she had decided to be accurate, incase anyone asked questions. She’d tell them which cabin she was going to, how cold it was going to be. She researched every night until one day she had done it. She booked a cabin from a small mom and pop place. They had pictures on their website but you had to call to make reservations.

What would Christmas be without a little self-indulgence? Wine, lingerie, bathbombs, and cookies were all on the list. It was her first vacation ever, the first ever alone at least. Bubbles had given her a gift just for the trip, a freshly knitted scarf and cap. Blossom bought her an expensive leather jacket. The professor got her doc martins. The guilt bled in a little. Only a little. She need the time away. To feel good and sane again. The distance would help her love her family and not strangle them.

“Ms. Utonium! You’re. Here.” The disappointment had never been more obvious. Buttercup barely got in the door, she hadn’t been able to shut it quick enough without letting snow blow in. Even her vision had been questionable in the brewing snow storm. Her cheeks were red and fingers nearly frozen shut around the handles of her duffle.

“Yeah,” Buttercup didn’t smile to met the woman’s nervous countenance. She was portly and rosey cheeked, though Buttercup would argue it was more flustered than natural. She set her bag at her feet. A distance from the counter.

“Oh sweetie,” Her distance instantly recognized, “I didn’t mean anything by it, it’s just. Well.” She shuffled from behind the counter, her hands wiped over her apron hand stitched with an abundance of Christmas decorum. It matched the check in cabin nicely. Two trees. Real pine. A burning fire place. There were presents neatly placed under the pine and stockings stuffed to the brim. The lights on this cabin had been a dead give away when she wasn’t sure where to check in.

“You see with the storm coming, folks haven’t been checkin’ out. I couldn’t kick them out without a plan on Christmas. And with the planes grounded, I didn’t think anyone else would be coming in.”

At the mention of anyone else Buttercup turned completely to the red couch just behind her, another guest with a long black coat and red cap. If there had been any surprise he had since collected himself and left Buttercup alone to flounder.

Brick. Rowdyruff Brick was sitting with crossed arms staring her down. Of course the only two people with super powers had braved the storm and made it up to the mountain.

“Well darlin, you see, we have one cabin left.”

“So you gave it to him?” Buttercup asked with a snap, eyes still on Brick. If there was anything a Ruff could manage to take from a Puff it was their happiness. Buttercup’s one holiday she’d given herself. The chance to be without ridicule and out from under a microscope, the only one single and alone—her perfectly planned cottage get away. Stolen.

“No.” Brick answered for her. “She wanted to be sure no one was coming.”

“Goodness gracious,” The woman fanned her face despite the chill. She’d said it like a swear and the tone had Buttercup turning her back on Brick. Somehow she suspected this woman rarely swore and her meltdown would be a bigger threat than Brick.

“Hey, Ma’am its—”

“We know each other,” Brick cut in. He stood shoulder to shoulder with Buttercup, a visual representation to calm the ailed woman. “We can split it.”

“What?” The hostess and Buttercup asked together.

“But she’s,” a she, the woman might have said.

“I can handle myself lady.” Buttercup stomped out the fear without batting an eye. The point of this vacation was to be alone, right? If Brick had come this far away from Townsville it had to be no different than her.

“Is that alright?” Her cheeks were less fire engine emergency and more Jack Frost had nipped at her cheeks. Buttercup made fists in her pockets and damned the will of the people.

“That’ll be just fine.” Hardly. “Brick is a real gentleman. Righty Bricky?” She had been queuing up for a pack mule joke, but he had already shouldered her bag and taken the key from the Mrs. Klaus look alike.

“Oh dearie, take this. You’ll need all the extra you can get.” She hoisted a bundle of logs with both hands, Brick took it with one. “Oh, goodness and why don’t you take this on the house. For the trouble. We normally host a Christmas party, a little raffle.” She gifted Buttercup with a blanketed basket.

With the way Mrs. Klaus had been apologizing, Buttercup had been expecting the worst pick of the lot. Brick, drove their rented car slower than she’d ever seen him move up the twisted Mountain Road. It was farther than the other cabins. Brick gestured to the crude map that had come with the key.

“The Christmas Cottage. Really.” Buttercup snickered and noted the ghost of a smirk on Brick.

“What do you expect? I booked the one on Rudolph road.”

“I thought Snowflake Lane was winter themed.” It had been the cheapest of the bunch and even for her fake trips, Buttercup had kept to a budget.

The outside was small, decorated modestly with lighted candy canes noting the start of the long driveway up to the cottage. They framed the walkway up to the door, keeping its guest on path. This far up the mountain and back into the wood, the snow had piled on high and thick. The candy canes barely had any light to them under the grey sky and hidden under blankets of snow.

The chill was enough to have Brick and Buttercup moving quick. Neither dawdled over their situation and wanted to get in the cabin and warm themselves up. Brick fumbled with his things and the keys, he barely stepped in before back tracking to the car. He had thought a little deeper into the lodging, bringing multiple cooking supplies where Buttercup had a bag of goods to make pancakes, cookies, sausage, eggs, popcorn and frozen pizza. She thought about dining out one of the nights, she hadn’t thought about that being weather considering. Weather had played a very small part in her fantasy get away.

Of course Brick had considered everything. Buttercup hung in the doorway, Brick maneuvering around her to set down the large yeti cooler. He shut the door behind them,

“It’s warm.” He held out a palm. Buttercup kept hers tucked under her armpits. Her breathe wasn’t visible in the cabin and the chill closed behind them she thought anything might feel warm.

“Stomp off the snow and kick off your shoes.”

“I know how snow works,” Buttercup chirped and carefully undid the laces. As much as she loved the new kicks it was a relief to be out of them. The backs of her ankles were no stronger than anyone else’s when it came to breaking in new boots. She floated above the wood flooring to the cream colored carpeting.

Brick turned on every light as he walked, carrying the cooler to the kitchenette first. Buttercup couldn’t believe her own gasp.

The sharp ‘what’ died gently when he saw just what the switch had turned on. Every eve above the head was wrapped in white lights, the door frames lined with lighted garland and a tree just in front of the balcony, across from the dark fireplace. Blossom was a master interior designer, but Buttercup had never oo’ed and aw’ed like this before. It was a scene out of a movie, she was staring at a real life Christmas card. A red plush blanket tossed over the couch. Matching mugs on the wooden coffee table, Mr. and Mrs.

“Oh shit,” Buttercup held one up, a packaged cocoa nestled neatly inside. “I guess this is why she sorry.”

“Honeymoon suite.” Brick agreed and held up a bottle of champagne. “Oh. And there’s cake.” He read the card,

“A small wedding cake for the lovely Mr. and Mrs. Rudolph.”

“You’re shitting me,” Buttercup floated behind him. The damn thing was even decorated with the two reindeer. Either the couple would have hated or loved this. Likely loved it considering their location of choice.

“Well. Mr. Rudolph. We have cake.” Buttercup had no shame. Free wedding cake? She’d take the name if it came with a prize.

“I bet there are more surprises, Mrs. Rudolph.” His joke knocked a grin onto her face. Brick was snide and snarky. His remarks could cut as deep as his fist could punch. Something said without it being at the expense of any person was a bit of a surprise.

“Should we see what else the happy couple left four our honeymoon?”

“Wouldn’t that be stealing?”

“We’re helping them not be wasteful. Come on.”

“Go on, I’m going to start the fire.”

“Oh because that’s such a challenge for you.” Buttercup reached, her nail dragged from his collar bone and over Brick’s adam’s apple. Her sister was an ice breather and he had a belly of fire.

“I don’t need to use shit to start a fire.”

“Uh-huh, I’m sure you can.” Buttercup batted her eyes and walked down the hall, “I’ll turn up the heater. Don’t want to freeze out.”

Buttercup didn’t really doubt the resourcefulness of the other. The boys had lived on their own, who knows what tricks each of them had picked up to sustain themselves. The banter was just another dialect, part of Buttercup’s language. A natural problem starter and shit stirrer.

#manawrites #powerpuff girls #rowdyruff boys #buttercup #brick x buttercup #holiday fic #WIP #I NEED MOTIVATION TO FINISH THIS UUGGHHH...i have so much planned for this lil thing...i'm just blah in a writing rut per usual lol

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alilpunkrock · 5 years

Text

Secrets Out (part 1)

A/N: ahhh it’s here! I’ve had this idea for a fic in my head forever and now it’s born! Eventually there will be more Ryan mentioned. As always, feedback is greatly appreciated! 🖤

I stirred in my bunk. I heard nothing but yelling coming from the front lounge of the bus. For a second, I panicked. What’s happening? Who’s being killed? Have the rest of the guys finally turned on Chris because of his god awful dad jokes? I waited for another minute until I heard laughter. I let out a deep breath to calm my heart rate.

I finally decided to climb out of the bunk and stretched upward, cracking my back. I followed the sound of the guys and was met with four of them on the couches playing a video game both the TVs. That explains the yelling. I walked over to the fridge and pull out a water bottle and an apple and sat down next to Ricky. He wasn’t playing the game but he was watching intensely. He turned his head when he felt me sit down.

“Morning sunshine.” He said laughing after he saw the look on my face. I grumbled out a small “shut up”.

This caught the attention of the rest of the guys.

“Hey Y/N! Got any plans for our day off?” Vinny asked me. I shrugged.

“Maybe.”

“Ohh mysterious,” Justin raises his eyebrows. “You got a secret boyfriend or something Y/N?” I rolled my eyes.

“Or something.” AJ snickered at my answer.

Today was the first day off in a month which meant no having to help the boys get ready for stage and not having to work the merch booth. I do a little bit of everything on this tour thanks to Ricky. My last job had to let me go due to downsizing and Ricky quickly offered me a job working on tour with the rest of the crew. So far, it was the best job I’ve ever had. Thankfully, our day off ended up being in my home town. Ricky knew what I was doing today, so did the tour manager and the crew, but the rest of the guys? Well they were about to learn a lot more about me.

“I’m going to visit some family I have here. My grandparents still live in town and so I my aunts and uncles.” I explained to Justin. The guys nodded their heads.

“Do we get to meet any of them?” Justin asked.

“Maybe.” I said once again, taking a bite of my apple.

My phone buzzed on the arm of the couch and I saw it was a message from my mom. Her and my dad were in town also, while I’ve been away they’ve been watching Gunner, my son. That’s who I was seeing today. For the first time in a month. Oh my god I missed him so much. The plan was to meet up with my mom, dad, and Gunner, get lunch, hang out for a bit, then bring Gunner back to the bus to meet everybody. Hopefully they’d be okay with having a 4 year old on the bus. AJ and the rest of the crew said they were more than okay with it. And Ricky was so excited to see his godson again.

Ricky and his family were friends of my mom and dad. He’s almost 10 years older than me so I looked at him like an older brother.

I stood up and walked to the bathroom on the bus. I washed my face and brushed my teeth, deciding just to put my hair in a bun. I walked back to my bunk and pulled out some clothes. I decided on a pair of tight black jeans and and oversized Van Halen t shirt I think might belong to Ryan. I grabbed my makeup bag and headed back to the front.

By the time I got back the rest of the band was in the lounge. Chris was eating a bowl of lucky charms and Ryan was sitting at the table playing on his phone. I put my stuff on the table next to him and he scooted over without hesitation. I sat down and started my makeup.

“Man, are you sure there’s no secret boyfriend? You don’t ever wear makeup if you don’t have to.” AJ questioned, genuinely confused. I felt Ryan’s eyes on the side of my face but I refused to look. I was the most nervous for him to meet Gunner. It’s kinda known around the crew that Ryan and I are more than friends but we haven’t talked about if we’re dating or not. I was worried he’d be mad for keeping Gunner out of all our conversations and he’d lose interest once he knew I come with more baggage than he thought.

“No secret boyfriend, I promise. And I wanna look nice because I’m seeing my family today.” I explained putting on mascara.

There wasn’t any comments made for the rest of the ride to the RV park we were staying at tonight.

~~~~~~~~~~

“Okay everyone! I’m going to head out now, I’ll be back later tonight!” I called out gathering my purse and phone. Ryan was the only one who came into the lounge, a small smile on his face.

Man, I love his smile. He doesn’t do it often enough.

“See you after a bit,” Ryan said hugging me around my shoulders. “By the way, that shirt looks better on you than it ever did me.” He kissed the top of my head then let go. I ducked my head to try and hide the blush creeping up my face.

“See ya later.” I waved goodbye before stepping off the bus and meeting my mom at her car.

The car ride with my mom consisted of her asking question after question about the tour, the guys, more specifically Ryan.

“Mom,” I blushed. “I don’t know. I like him and I think he likes me but I’m afraid of his reaction about Gunner. I haven’t told anyone except for the crew about him. Obviously Ricky already knows.”

“Do you think he’d tell if the guys start questioning him?” My mom asked. I shook my head.

“No, Rick knows how important it is to me to be the one to introduce them.”

We made it to my grandparents house after a while and it was all I could do not to jump out of the car before it stopped. I opened the front door of the house and immediately heard the sound of Gunner’s little feet running towards me. Tears welled up in my eyes as I saw my little boy round the corner, a giant smile on his face.

“Mommy!” He yelled. I crouched down to his level and opened my arms for him to run in to.

“Hey bub!” I said picking him up and kissing his face over and over. “What’s going on?” I asked.

“Cookies!” He yelled pointing to the kitchen. I followed his finger and walked in to find the rest of my family around the island in the middle of the kitchen.

After hugs and greetings, I sat on a stool at the counter with Gunner on my lap. We shared a cookie and he tried to tell me about all the things he did with grandma and grandpa while I was away.

“No way! You went to Disneyland? How was that?” I asked, pretending I didn’t already know everything he was telling me.

He told me all about Star Wars and captain America and the fireworks like it was the greatest thing he’s ever seen.

The day carried on like that. Visiting and story telling. And pretty soon it was time for Gunner and I to leave.

“Are you ready to see uncle Ricky?” I asked Gunner as he sat in his car seat, holding his stuffed bear. He swung his legs back and forth obviously excited.

I, on the other hand, was nervous. I had texted Ricky telling him we were on our way back and he sent back a thumbs up. Both my mom and my dad were in the car this time, they wanted to meet the rest of the guys.

When we pulled up to the bus, the guys had set up a grill and lawn chairs outside and were laughing about something. I took a deep breath and unbuckled my seatbelt.

“Uncle Ricky!” Gunner yelled when he walked out of the bus.

“You ready to meet the guys I work for?” I asked everyone in the truck. My dad parked and opened his door.

I saw Ricky coming over, hugging my dad and my mom once she came around to the drivers side. I opened my door and hopped out, already on the drivers side. I reached in and unclipped Gunners car seat, pulling him out of the truck and onto my hip. As soon as Ricky saw him he took him from me.

“Hey little man! How’s my favorite kid doing?” He asked kissing his cheek.

“Good!” He yawned. Party pooper. I chuckled and rubbed his back.

“Tired already bub? The party just started!” Ricky said. The rest of the guys started to come over, AJ was the first to say anything.

“Hey! It’s so nice to meet you guys!” AJ said shaking hands with my parents. He came over to Ricky and held his hand up for a high five from Gunner. “Hey bud! Remember me from FaceTime?” Gunner nodded his head giving him a high five.

Everyone else said hi and introduced themselves to my parents, then the stood around waiting to be introduced to the little boy.

“Guys this is Gunner, my son. Gunner this is all the guys. That’s Chris, Vinny, Justin, Bryce, and Ryan.” I said focusing on Ryan’s reaction. He didn’t seem to have one, at least he didn’t show what he was thinking.

“Um, I hope it’s okay, but he’s going to be joining us for a little bit.”

After my parents left, Gunner and I sat outside with the guys until he could barley kept his eyes open. I picked him up and took him to the bus to lay him in my bunk. Ricky and I switched bunks because mine was the second one up and I didn’t want Gunner to roll out of mine. He stirred a little when I laid him down but fell back asleep just as fast. I left the light of the bunk on Incase he woke up. I kissed his forehead before I got up and closed the curtain. Making my way out into the lounge, i saw Ryan standing with his hands in his pockets. I leaned up against the counter and waited for him to say something.

“We need to talk.”

#ryan sitkowski #ryan sitkowski fic #Secrets Out #miw imagines #motionless in white

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ckret2 · 5 years

Text

Like Lover and Owner and Worshiper

anonymous asked: If you are still taking requests about Ghidorah... Can you make one where the monster is having admirer /human/ and he didn't killed her, because she is the only one who like him... Felt like I need something sweet like this :) thank you in advance :)))

So apparently read mores don’t work in asks anymore so this gets its own post! *jazz hands*

I kinda feel like u mighta wanted to ask for a reader insert but didn’t wanna say so lol; so in case u did I left the main character unnamed, so it could be anyone. (In my head it’s AU Vivienne Graham who’s really really into Ghidorah, because from now on all Sally Hawkins characters have a thing for monsters. BUT you can substitute in anyone.)

It’s slightly bittersweet—some relatively surface-level talk of going through Seasonal Affective Disorder because Antarctica, some Ghidorah being like really super absurdly lonely, some kinda obsessive levels of affection—but it’s mostly sweet.

This is gonna get proofed llllater because im tired but wanna get it out. There’s a high chance that some pronouns got messed up because nobody has names and the pronouns switch between viewpoint characters. feel free to lemme know if you spot any of those. (or any other typos. always open to typos.) but don’t feel obligated to since this ain’t proofed. EDIT: Hey this is proofed now!

###

Few people last very long at Monarch if their first instinct upon seeing a monster taller than the London Eye with claws and fangs longer than their own body isn't to whisper, "Magnificent."

"Isn't he?" Serizawa asked, beaming. "Or aren't they, perhaps I should say."

"You said there are three heads. I can only see two. Where's...?"

Serizawa pointed at each of the obvious golden blurs in turn, and then at a murky patch of ice with a spotlight trained on it. She saw nothing through it. "The ice is still too thick for us to see all three," he said. "But the scans have revealed the whole body. He has two tails, as well."

"Absolutely magnificent."

Aboveground, the only thing currently protecting the crevasse they'd dug to reach this frozen titan was a chainlink fence and two very cold guards. There were a few temporary trailers set up nearby, bright orange and flying black-and-white Monarch flags; winter was coming soon, and they'd either have to work fast to establish a base that would hold them through the winter when most other seasonal bases has shut down, or withdraw to an established base for the winter and monitor the site from a distance. Japanese Showa Station was within sight of the crevasse when the weather was clear—had been the ones to discover the titan underneath, in fact—and someone, certainly, was already working out how to arrange for Monarch to move a few operatives into their facility while navigating their strict policy of secrecy concerning titans.

But all of that coordinating wasn’t in the here and now. Here and now, there was only a golden titan, glittering faintly through the ice from the spotlights put on him, and she stared at the blur that was one of his heads in wonder. How long was it going to be until they'd carved and chipped away the ice, and she could see his scales and wings and all three serpentine necks and heads in all of their glory?

She couldn't wait.

She leaned as far as she could over the railing of the rickety scaffolding that had lowered her and Serizawa to look at the monster, and she brushed the tips of her gloved fingers against the ice.

###

They were used to being cold.

They spent most of their life cold, frozen in the heart of an asteroid they pulled around themselves like a cocoon, soaring from world to world, unconsciously aware of how gravity tugged on their body and how the shell around them changed temperature when exposed to sunlight, but not even dreaming.

It took so long to travel from world to world, longer to travel from star to star. Staring at the same pinprick of light for years without any noticeable progress toward it was enough to drive them mad, enough to make them feel like they were going blind from staring so long at the same point, enough to make their heads ring with the silence and the inability to hear their own roars, enough to make them bite and tear at their own necks just to feel something, even if they had to rip off one of their own heads in order to feel. And then they might lose sight of their star and be lost.

It was easier to sleep away the centuries.

They slept now, in the cold, still and immobile. Their unconscious mind was certain that they were sheltered in an asteroid, floating between the stars. Only a few things could wake them from a sleep like this.

One was the feeling of an impact, jolting them awake as they made planetfall. One was extreme heat, warning that they were drifting too close to a star and needed to crack free and fly to a safer distance before falling in. One was other minds, alien minds thinking and dreaming outside of their shelter.

They felt minds now.

Once upon a time, when they were new, they could tell what others were feeling. They had long lost all but a whisper of that sense. They didn't know if it was because they now moved only among alien minds too strange to comprehend, or if it was because isolation and mutation had atrophied the ability.

But when they slept between worlds, when their eyes and ears and noses and tongues were numb and their touch was muffled by the steady pressure of their frigid cocoon, they could again sense what the minds around them were feeling.

The minds they felt now weren't enough to stir them to full wakefulness. (They should have been; but they were not, as their sleeping minds assumed, in an asteroid cocoon, but something different and worse.) But the minds were enough to shake them from deep hibernation into a dazed doze, dully monitoring the small emotions floating around them.

They were the usual feelings of industrious aliens—focused and interested, occasionally fluctuating with the pleasures and sorrows and frustrations that came from the daily private dramas all thinking things had. When the aliens focused on them in their cocoon—they could always sense when someone was focused on them—they were interested, nervous, awed, wary.

Except one mind.

One mind was consistently rapturous.

Dazed and half-dreaming, the other minds were like distant starry pinpricks in infinite black space, maddeningly far away—but this one's rapture was like an approaching sun, rushing up to meet them, filling their tired body with warmth, bright and welcoming and heralding the end of a long journey.

When had their presence been welcomed with such joy? Such unrestrained bubbling glee and dizzy euphoria? They couldn't remember if they had ever been so welcome—not on any world. Paralyzing terror, helpless anger, sickening dread, those they were all used to, those they all enjoyed. Those feelings were a sort of rapture, to be sure—the sort of rapture inspired by a devil. Never had they been on the receiving end of a rapture that was like—like what, exactly? Admiration? Love? The feeling of gazing upon something divine.

It was so warm. So warm, in the cold.

###

Everyone at Monarch, of course, agreed that Monster Zero was spectacular. But she began to realize that most people meant that differently from her. Sure, everyone thought he looked cool. What wasn't to like about a three-headed golden dragon? But no one else was as... as enthralled with him as she was.

He worried them.

The first she realized how widely her opinions differed from her colleagues' was when she discussed how they were going to safely remove him from the ice, and everyone at the table looked at her in surprise. They had all taken it as a given that they'd leave him where he was—incased in ice that was shaved down enough to let them get a good look at him, but not removed, and given extra refrigeration so that their surrounding equipment and lights wouldn't cause the ice to melt further. She'd looked back at them in just as much surprise—surprise at herself for not thinking that obvious. Because of course they would leave him frozen. That was Monarch policy. Hibernating titans were left to hibernate: contained in whatever tomb they'd been found in.

That was what they had to do. They had no idea what his personality was like; they couldn't wake him. They shouldn't wake him.

Even so, the knowledge that she wouldn't get to see him fly was devastating.

Everyone else found the possibility of his flying to be somewhat alarming.

Her colleagues saw his fangs, his spined tails, his clawed feet, and saw only the damage they could do. When they mentioned how much taller he was than Godzilla, it wasn't with a sense of knee-weakening amazement at the sheer grand scale of him, but with the implication that on some level they were calculating proportionately how many more neighborhoods he'd crushed if he ever decided to go strolling in San Fransisco. When she fantasized about what he would look like flying, his wings stretched wide, his scales glinting in the sunlight, her colleagues imagined only the terrible storm his flight would summon.

Everyone had their favorite titan. Even though everyone was wary of the titans' strength and dedicated to ensuring that they never posed a threat to humanity, most of them—certainly all the scientists, the multitudes of biologists and zoologists and environmentalists—had been drawn to this line of work out of love and fascination. They all, to a greater or lesser extent, collectively adored these dangerous giants. And they all adored one or two more than the others.

Of course, they teased each other good-naturedly about their favorites. Serizawa, who refused to keep a plaque on his door listing his official position in Monarch, once showed up for his shift to find his office had a shiny new plaque reading "Godzilla Public Relations Department". Years ago, Ilene Chen had received a giant caterpillar doll for her birthday, which was later seen in possession of her sister—holding it up to the glass window in front of Mothra's egg as though she was showing it off, beaming—and later still in the possession of Dr. Russell's young daughter, who would sometimes carry it like a baby and sometimes use it in battle against her dinosaur toys.

As the most excited scientist in Antarctica, she quickly gained the nickname Fangirl Zero. Sometimes, when people inquired about her work, they'd ask how her "husbands" were doing. It was always good natured, always laughingly, and with the understanding that everyone had That One Titan and was open to ribbing for it.

Even at that, though, she was pleased that when people thought of her, they thought of Monster Zero.

###

They could track its mind. Wherever it went, wandering back and forth, they felt it. They knew where it slept, because they could sense its dreams. They knew the spot where it spent most of the day.

They knew when it thought about them. Its mind shined upon them like a flashlight, calling to them.

It was sometimes so near to them that, if they weren't in their asteroid, they could bend down and lick it. And it would stay there, near to them, for so long at a time.

When had they ever been so worshiped? Never—not in a way that was inspired by tremulous devotion rather than trembling dread. When had they ever been so adored? Never—not since they had become they, rather than one and one and one all separate, cooed over as a trio of precious clumsy newborns. When had they ever been so loved? Never, never, never.

They were graced with every point on the spectrum of unconditional glorification—the upward-gazing glorification of a worshiper to its god, the downward-gazing glorification of an owner to its beloved pet, the equal-level glorification of lover to lover. How could one mind hold so much glory inside it without exploding? The mere spillover nearly melted the cold from their limbs.

Their worshiper grew unwell from time to time. Its emotions grew tired and dull and unhappy and quiet, like a heavy weight was pushing its mood down from above. Even when it was thinking of them, its rapture didn't reach the euphoric heights it used to. Sometimes, when it was close to them, they could feel it trying to force itself to feel euphoria in their presence. It rarely worked.

Every once in a while, it would leave. If they focused hard, they could tell where it went, feel its mind curving away in a long arc as it crossed the surface of the planet. When it settled somewhere almost halfway around the world, they were seized with an unconscious grief. The only consolation was that they could tell it still thought about them. Its worship was a star twinkling far away.

It left because something had been pushing down on its mind. They wished that they could sing for it. As their ability to hear emotions had atrophied, they had instead gained the ability to speak emotions. It took them a long time to figure out the exact notes to sing in order to change a new alien's mind, to enthrall and control it, to make it feel what they wanted it to feel. But unless they reduced a world to ash faster than they could puzzle out the native minds, they always did figure it out. They didn't want to control this mind, though. They didn't need to. They only wanted to turn the coffin lid pressing down on its emotions into a vaulted ceiling again. Maybe it wouldn't have had to leave, if they could have sang for it.

But after a while, it came back to them, happier again.

And so they didn't fear the next time it left.

###

During her lunch breaks and when she was off-duty, she would frequently bundle up and sit in a folding chair near his ice, gazing up at him, studying his faces, wings, scales. She'd sometimes bring books and read to him—if anyone gave her a quizzical look, she'd laugh and say she couldn't help but think he must be lonely in the ice. Oftentimes they were myths about dragons, hydras, and serpents, often sent to her by Dr. Chen as she tried to find more historical sightings of Monster Zero. She'd read him a story and then ask him whether it was true, false, or about a different titan entirely. She'd tell him about paintings they found that seemed to depict him fighting against Godzilla, and ask whether that was him or just another titan that looked like him, and what his relationship with Godzilla had been like. Of course he didn't answer. That was fine. She felt like, somehow, he knew she was there.

Nothing made her happier than working in the same facility as Monster Zero.

It made her almost as happy as Antarctica made her unhappy.

Sunlight was indirect and at times of the year sparse. Even in the summer, the temperature barely ever rose to zero. And except for a few quick, frigid walks she sometimes made herself take for her own mental health, she got very little of what sunlight was available. Almost all of her time was spent in Outpost 32, deep in ice. Even when she slept in her heated room under her many blankets, she could still feel the distant chill pressing in on her bubble of warmth, looking for a way to make her cold.

Most Monarch staff had their permanent assignments somewhere farther north, cycling through Antarctica for a shift of one or two months roughly every couple of years. Nobody wanted to be in the frozen, barren, dark tundra; nobody wanted to share a tomb with the devil with three heads. She was the only one who requested the position, insisted that she be permanently stationed in Antarctica. Because of that, she quickly became the most important person at the outpost: the expert not only on Monster Zero, but also in getting the satellite Internet to work again, in repairing the constantly malfunctioning coffee machine, in finding where the spare bulbs were kept, in coping with the soul-sucking isolation and inhospitable climate at the bottom of the world. She was officially put in charge of the outpost before the construction was finished. Time and again, her colleagues told her that she was invaluable.

But they also told her that they were worried. She understood. She didn't want to—for a while, she resisted it—but she did. Antarctica sucked the light from her mind as easily as the warmth from her bones. She grew tired, sullen, listless, irritable. The base was full of sun lamps, and she was shipped one antidepressant after another to try, but none of them fully mitigated the effects of being trapped underground and surrounded by ice. She couldn't stay there permanently. So for three months of the year, from July through September, when Antarctica was its darkest and coldest, she transferred to a post in the northern hemisphere.

And so, she became a reverse Persephone: every winter, she left behind hell and its king, to return eagerly in the spring.

###

They woke as their asteroid shuddered, cracked, and crashed apart.

Waking was a sluggish process. It took them a long time to remember where they were and what had happened: they hadn't been in space, drifting between planets. They had been trapped underground. They had been thrashed and defeated and discarded. They had been left broken in the frigid slurry of their melted battlefield, too weak to move and sinking. The water had come up around them and froze.

They hadn't finished with this planet.

They would now.

It was good that there were so many little creatures scurrying around under their feet. The creatures made excellent target practice to resharpen their senses, and the guns pinging pellets off their scales helped to wake them up. They hadn't recalled that any creatures on this world had guns. How long had they slept?

Not long enough for the little king to die out. Unfortunate. Excellent.

They were awake now—awake and alive and freezing and furious and ecstatic.

But through the swirling wind and ice shards and shrapnel, through the screaming and shooting and dying vermin, through the darkness and the flashing yellow and blue light, through the electric life crackling up their throats—they felt a point of light piercing their minds like it was the only light in the universe.

The little king had fallen—dropped into the pit he had frozen them in—they wouldn't have to worry about him for a moment. They broke off their search, twisting around, scanning in separate directions for the light.

There, far below, a dark speck on the white ice: one of the vermin fleeing for their lives. There was their worshiper. They had spent so much time unconsciously following its mind around that, even awake, with their empathic sense muffled, they could still dully register its emotions. They had never felt it fear them before. But even so, they could still feel its awe piercing through the fear, in breathless fluttering bursts. Were they everything it had ever hoped for?

They bent down, all together, wings spread wide for balance, studying the vermin up close from three angles. It stopped running and turned to face them, even when the other vermin looked back at it and started shouting.

Within its gaze, they glowed. Yes, they were everything it had dreamed of and more.

It raised a hand, reaching for the middle of them, and they jerked back. No, that wouldn't do. Electricity crackled across the surface of their scales; at times, they had amused themselves by finding vermin hardly larger than their worshiper and brushing lightly against them to watch them sizzle and fry. They did not want their lone worshiper to end that way.

They would give it a different gift. They had wanted to sing for it for a long time.

They reared back, stood straight, and let out a single, high, trilling trichord. It wasn't as loud as they could sing—but they didn't need the whole planet to hear them.

It clapped its hands over the sides of its head, as did most of the other vermin; but they could feel as its mind lifted, floating, filled with light. And may whatever had weighed it down never do so again.

They could hear the little king stirring. If they fought here, their worshiper might be crushed. They gave it one last look—they might never see it again, and a million worlds from now they would want to remember what it had looked like—and then they turned and took off. They flew over the pit the little king was still trying to claw out of, whipped his face with the spines of one tail to knock him off balance, and soared past him as he fell again, daring him to pursue them—away from the vermin on the ice.

They could still feel their worshiper's love.

###

She could never have imagined how much more beautiful Monster Zero would be as a living creature, moving and tensing and flexing, glowing in the dull light, crackling with lightning. All the simulations and theorizations Monarch made about how he would behave, all their CGI models predicting how he would move, all the scans and samples they used to guess at his biology and abilities, and still he was so much more than they ever came close to predicting.

He was as awesome and terrible as she’d always hoped and feared.

And he had stopped to bend down and look at her. Only her. Did he know her? Had he heard her in his sleep? She could barely hear her colleagues telling her to run as she reached a hand for him.

With the sound of his roar, her ears rang and her bones vibrated, and she felt static in her lungs. A moment ago she'd thought Monster Zero was going to be the death of her—and if she had to choose how she'd die, she would choose no other way, even if she would prefer it wait a few more decades—but at his roar she knew it was not possible that he would hurt her. Euphoria poured into her mind like sunlight, like ambrosia overfilling a cup, and her soul sang with lightning. For a moment, she couldn't see, she couldn't feel, she couldn't breathe. She didn't need to breathe. Everything was dust and glitter and enlightenment.

The echoes of his roar faded, and she felt herself settle back on the Earth; but something had opened up in her. She felt lighter than she'd been in years.

Her knees gave out, and she sank gracelessly to the ice, watching the way its necks and tails rippled each time it beat its wings.

Someone said, "Wow. Wow. Did the rest of you feel that?" Someone else said, "Did we know he could do that? That's new, right? We didn't know about that."

Her heart pounding like it was trying to break free of her ribs, she watched him until he disappeared over the horizon.

###

Comments/reblogs are welcome! Check the “source” link below for my masterlist of Ghidorah-centric and Rodorah fics, as well as my AO3 and Ko-fi links.

#ghidorah #king ghidorah #godzilla #spoilers #kotm #fanfic #my writing #anonymous #ask

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broadwaycantdie · 5 years

Text

L'ho Fatto Per Te - Sprace

a/n: two things; 1) i only know very basic italian so i’m sorry if some of this is wrong , 2) i picture giuseppe bausilio‘s racer for this more than anyone else’s cause it goes best for the storyline but that’s just me, picture whoever ya want

warnings: some n.s.f.w parts included // translations will be in parentheses

————————————————————————

“I literally see no difference between when I’m suppose to use la and when I’m suppose to use una.”

“This is basics 1; ain’t this supposed to be easy?”

“Damnit, outta health again.”

Spot sat on the couch of his apartment, waiting for his boyfriend to come home.

Spot and Race have been dating for a while. But something big was coming up. Race’s parents were coming—luckily not anytime soon, but they’d still have to meet him.

Race’s parents lived in Italy. They sent Race away when he was young to have a better life. Unfortunately, they had to make a sacrifice and stay behind. Race visited when he could but money was tight. He hadn’t seen them in a long time.

He was over the moon when he got the call that his parents would be flying into town before the year ended. As soon as he found out, he told Spot—hell, he told everyone.

Spot was nervous. He wanted to impress his boyfriend’s parents. He had to make a good impression.

As soon as Race explained the situation, Spot got an idea. He was going to learn Italian.

He didn’t want to tell Race. He had to wait. So he kept his lessons secret.

He started with teaching himself. Using Duolingo as his main tool, as well as attempting to read Italian works. Race had no idea.

They lived together. Making hiding Spot’s lessons harder. He often stayed up later than Race just to get in his daily lesson, forcing him to sleepily decipher between “lei è la donna” and “lei è una donna”.

Spot set daily reminders to do his lessons. Race noticed and asked him about it.

“Hey babe, what this duolingo notification?”

Spot’s heart dropped and without skipping a beat replied.

“Oh yeah, JoJo wanted me to learn Spanish so we could talk about people without getting caught.”

Sounded believable enough. Race put it past him and moved on.

Spot’s boyfriend was fluent in Italian. He spoke it his whole life and only learned English after arriving in New York many years back. He still had a touch of an accent and fumbled on some words when he couldn’t remember.

When he and Race got intimate, Race loved to talk. Spot could tell he was doing good when Racer started spewing Italian as oppose to English. He let out all his emotions in his native language and Spot loved that about him.

Everytime he spoke Italian, Spot fell more and more in love.

A few months into his lessons, Spot started trying to put what he knew into practice. Not around Race, but wherever he could. He’d go down to the Italian deli and test his skills. Usually doing pretty okay with the occasional slip up or miss-pronunciation.

Their anniversary came up and Spot took Race to a very nice dinner; later being followed by Racer’s favorite type of dessert.

They got back to their apartment and things turned hot and heavy.

As soon as they walked in Spot wrapped his arms around Race’s waist; kissing and pushing him against the wall. They quickly went to the bedroom. Spot dropped Race down on the bed and began undressing until Race stopped him.

He sat up and unbuttoned Spot’s shirt, slowly pushing it down his arms, running his fingers across his muscles. Race took off Spot’s pants just as slowly, this time running his fingers over Spot’s perked up boxers.

Spot took off Racer’s shirt and admired his beauty.

His hair was already messy, but it was about to get worse. His eyes matched Spot’s—dark and inviting. His skin always had a glow on it, as if he just came back from a nice day at the beach. Spot loved him.

Things picked up and Spot pulled out a lot of things he’d been holding back.

He grabbed Racer’s long hair and pulled it back, causing a moan. Spot loved that sound. He kissed down Race’s body and heard him utter a few words.

“Cazzo, per favore non fermarti” ( fuck, please don’t stop )

Spot went harder. He finally understood some of the things Race said when they went at it.

Race flipped the switch. He liked to show Spot what he could do. He moved his lips up and down his boyfriend’s body, landing on his underwear. He guided his fingers around his waistband and pulled slowly—too slowly for Spot’s liking. Race was a tease, but everything came to a good ending, so the wait was worth it.

Race’s head bobbed up and down as Spot kept a hand in his boyfriend’s hair; tugging and pulling as he got closer and closer.

Without realizing, Spot mumbled out a breathy word.

“Fanculo” ( fuck )

Race stopped. He knew that word. Spot tugged on his hair, ushering him to keep going.

After they finished, Race couldn’t help but think about what happened.

Why would he say “fuck” in Italian rather than English? He never spoke Italian before?

Race pushed away the thoughts and just chose to believe Spot picked it up from listening to him.

Another few months passed and all Race could talk about was his parents visit. Spot knew he was running out of time, so he did something he didn’t want to do.

He got a tutor. And actual lessons with a teacher.

He seemed to know a lot of words but having a conversation proved tough. If he was going to pull this off, he needed a lot more help and fast.

He went to lessons every day. Easily using the excuse that he just took up more hours at work.

The lessons were a success and with help from proper teachers—on top of his duolingo work, reading Italian literature, and on the street practice—he was almost fluent in a little under a year. Of course it wasn’t perfect, but he could hold a proper conversation, and that’s what mattered.

“Today is the day, babe!” Race called out from their shared bedroom.

“I know, it’s been on the calendar for almost a year.”

They made their way to the airport and waited. Race was beaming with light and energy. He was so excited. Spot was still nervous.

Race noticed Spot’s nervousness and tried to reassure him, assuming his nerves were from meeting his parents as well as not knowing if they spoke English. That would be a proper reason for nerves.

“Don’t worry, I’m certain they’ll love you. And incase you’re wonder, which I know you are, they do speak English. Not the best, but enough. I’ll be right here to help with anything they can’t get”, Race said to Spot sweetly.

That’s not why Spot was nervous. He was nervous because he worked all this time for this moment. He didn’t know when or how he wanted to do it. Would he come out the gate speaking Italian? Would he wait until they did it first? Or would he just save it for a special moment?

Race saw his parents coming down the escalator and grabbed Spot’s hand, dragging him to the crowd of people. He ran so fast he though Spot’s arm would come off.

“Mamma! Papà!” ( Mom! Dad! )

“Antonio! Mio figlio!” ( Antonio! My child! )

He hugged his parents so tightly. Spot could feel the warmth of Race’s happiness. His smile showed pure goodness and made his eyes crinkle into almost nothing.

“Com'è stato il viaggio?” ( How was the trip? )

“Lungo. Hanno bisogno di più spazio su queste cose” ( Long. They need more space on these things )

Spot noticed Race seemed to get his talkative nature and liveliness from his mother. His father stood, searching the area for what they needed to do and what was coming next. Then his eyes landed on Spot.

“Chi è questo, Antonio?” ( Who is this, Antonio? )

“Papà, questo è il mio ragazzo, Sean” ( Dad, this is my boyfriend, Sean )

Spot felt his heart jump to his throat. He knew everything they were saying and was nervous for their responses.

His father was silent. It was agonizing.

“Lo ami?” ( You love him? )

“Molto. Più di chiunque altro prima. Voglio sposarlo, papà” ( Very much. More than anyone before. I want to marry him, dad )

Race paused and looked at Spot, then back at his parents and spoke again.

“Questa è una delle ragioni per cui ero così entusiasta che tu venissi, voglio la tua benedizione. Ho intenzione di proporre molto presto e volevo che tu fossi qui per quello.” ( That's one of the reasons I was so excited for you to come, I want your blessing. I plan on proposing very soon and I wanted you to be here for that. )

Race spoke very fast, it was hard for Spot to keep up. But he picked out the majority of the sentence. He couldn’t believe it. But honestly, it took them long enough. It’s been too many years to count.

“Lui sa?” ( He knows? ), Race’s mother spoke up.

“No. E anche lui non parla Italiano, quindi per favore prova il tuo meglio con l'inglese, ti aiuterò se ne hai bisogno” ( No. And he doesn't speak Italian either, so please try your best with English, I'll help you if you need it )

Race’s mom looked at Spot and smiled.

“Sean! My boy! Welcome to the family!” She said, her accent thick.

Spot finally decided to save what he knew.

Race’s family was very friendly. Spot saw where Race got it from. Before Spot could even answer he was being pulled into a hug.

They went back to their apartment to show his parents. They had a hotel room right down the block, but they still wanted to catch up with Race and see how he was doing.

Racer’s mom went straight for the kitchen, checking if they kept proper ingredients and spices around.

“Non preoccuparti mamma, Sean è un ottimo cuoco” ( Don’t worry mom, Sean’s a great cook )

They both laughed and Spot tried to hold it in, making sure to pretend like he didn’t know what they said.

A few nights later they planned a very nice dinner. Spot still hadn’t spoke any Italian but he had a plan. He was told to dress fancy and that they were going to a very important dinner.

Spot knew what this was. He put on one of Racer’s favorite outfits; a black suit with gold accents, a white button up, a small gold chain under the collar of his shirt, and a red pocket square.

He walked out of the bathroom looking incredibly handsome. He got to the living room and saw Race waiting for him.

Race wore Spot’s favorite suit outfit; a navy blue suit, a baby pink button up left unbuttoned at the top, and his hair tied back very sleek and clean.

They locked arms and walked out the door, picking up Race’s parents on their way to the restaurant.

Everyone was dressed to the nines. Race’s father in a nice black suit and his mother in a lovely pink gown. Unintentional matching never hurt anyone.

“You both look very good!” Race’s mother said upon seeing them.

At the restaurant they talked and ate and got to know each other more. Spot talked to Race’s parents, showing he was interested, cause he genuinely was.

Near the end, Race got nervous. He hid it well, but Spot knew him. Under the table Spot softly put his hand on Race’s thigh and gently rubbed it. Not sexually, just kindly. It always helped Racer calm down.

Race looked at his parents and softly said, “sono pronto” ( I’m ready )

Race stood up and looked at Spot.

He pulled a box out of his pocket and got on one knee. Even though Spot already knew this was coming, he was still in shock that it was actually happening.

“Spot. I love you so much. You know that. There’s not a day that goes by where I don’t let you know in some way or another. I want the whole world to know that you mean everything to me. You are my everything. I’m sorry for waiting, but I wanted this to be special. I wanted my parents to see that they didn’t sacrifice for nothing. I found the most important thing I could find...love. You’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. So...Sean Conlon...will you marry me?”

Race looked up at him with wide eyes.

“Sì, lo farò” ( Yes, I will )

Before Race could even react, Spot was pulling him into a kiss.

After all the celebrations, they sat back down at the table and toasted to champagne.

“So, how long have you known Italian?” Race asked, still very confused.

“About a year now...” Spot then explained the whole situation to Racer and his parents. They were all in shock and amazement.

“Sean Conlon, ti amo sempre di più ogni giorno” ( Sean Conlon, I love you more every day ) Race said, lovingly looking at his new fiancé.

“E non potrei essere più felice con nessun altro se non tu, Antonio Higgins...Voglio dire, guarda, ho imparato l'italiano! L'ho fatto per te, amore” ( And I could not be happier with anyone but you, Antonio Higgins...I mean, look, I learned Italian! I did it for you, my love ).

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ts-hvv4 · 4 years

Text

EPISODE THREE: I’M A GENIUS AND A MORON - OLIVIA

I'm still feeling weird in regards to old saint Nicklas. The vote went from him suggesting Ricky to everybody just hopping aboard that train in minutes/an hour so I think I'll have to leep my eye on him for sure. I dont want to say much for now though but I may need to start some seed droppin’.

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So I now have an alliance with Kurt, Sharifa, and Ned and tbh we stan. Kurt and Sharifa are messy bitches, and Ned is our straight ally. Olivia and Trent are shady and can go. This individual immunity twist is annoying, I'm fine with going to tribal I guess but the fact that up to 3 people on our tribe could win immunity... thank u next! Well, I guess I'll have to see how this challenge goes before I strategize further...

I know you might need immunity Birch (more like you do) but why are you snatching from your tribe members? I guess you really want that immunity huh 😂😂 maybe there’s something I don’t know about.. I need to see about finding that idol just incase..

Olivia tries to snatch the Ancient Thera Ticket from Matt Olivia tries to snatch the Ancient Thera Ticket from Matt Olivia tries to snatch the Ancient Thera Ticket from Matt Olivia tries to snatch the Ancient Thera Ticket from Matt Olivia tries to snatch the Ancient Thera Ticket from Matt Olivia tries to snatch the Ancient Thera Ticket from Matt

With the twist of both tribes going to Tribal Council this round I’m feeling a little bit nervous. I can’t go for the immunity necklaces myself because of my work schedule. I’m not necessarily nervous for my own game though. The McBITCHES alliance and the TEA SLUTS alliance are both alive and well. OLIVIA and I are discussing possible boots as well and we’re leaning towards NED and JAKE since they’re both hardly around. Out of those two, I think I’d prefer JAKE to be the one voted out next. NED and I have a little bit of history from previous non-TS games and I genuinely think we could work well together. OLIVIA did pitch JAKE to me, so I think we could make that happen fairly easily. But it’s still very early and a whole lot of things could change between now and tribal.

I’m a genius and a moron

* a bit later*

Me in a pepper Potts voice: you can rest now, summers

Matt summers: finally closes his eyes knowing I can no longer spam him

Me: now onto this bitch Keegan who keeps trying to steal my goddamn ticket

* a while after that*

If Kurt takes one look at the atomic wiki my life is over

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Really really really bonded with Kurt during this challenge and the last few days. We were already buddies and good with each other but I feel closer than ever and I really love that dude 🥰

Trent had to talk to me to get birch’s name out because we both wanted to say but I had him say it!! But I didn’t want to throw birch’s name out RIGHT in front of Keegan like that but he seemed to switch with us..idk if he’s for it or if it’s just for the group or if he’s just not for it but he probably doesn’t trust me for that LMAO yikes

I’ve forgiven birch for what happened in our last game but I’ll never be comfortable existing in a game simultaneously as them ever again. I’ve been uncomfortable since day 1 and I hope we finally vote them out so that experience can stop plaguing me with birch’s presence

Now that this challenge is 4.5 hours from finish, I suppose 9 would be a good time to get started or maybe sooner. A part of me felt it may be smarter to not post at all but I I don't want people getting too suspicious of me and feel I have an idol

Hmm so the goal today will be to get votes onto Emma and then proceed to get 2 votes on someone else in case of the idol...let's see if it goes anywhere!

Kurt and I at tribal council with immunities around our necks https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wcTQclKPZ2g&feature=youtu.be

Listen did I intentionally let slip that Kage most likely used that extra vote on Sarah later on so matt might change his vote and I would get the advantage IM NOT SAYING YES OR NO But also I’ve been so worried about summers but he said he wanted to work together and with smart people and the people on his tribe honestly seem frustrating and I was like babe sign me up. I hope he doesn’t strangle the life out of me again but I’d rather have a friend out of him than an enemy I chose the villainous route for the advantage 😬 if I told birch they were getting votes they would’ve flipped out and spiraled all day, I couldn’t do it. its only round three and it’s so messy oh my god. Please let me sleep and let this vote pass

Sooooo. Olivia told me that people have been talking about me and Lukas in Uluru, so that fun. I have a target on my back because of a game i played 8 months ago and a person who isn't even on my tribe. I also don't have immunity. I think we are going Ned, but I have Paranoia.

Tell me why Emma is saying there were nothing at Thera. That’s such a blatant lie. I don’t believe it. We just had our votes revealed AND an extra vote and she got nothing? Anyways. She’s already told Dennis where she looked for the idol. Tried talking to Sarah while she was at Thera. And then told me she had nothing there. So like clearly she don’t trust me like I thought she would when I first started playing Also just to be clear, it’s very likely Kage who voted Sarah this last round so we need to keep that in mind (and make her paranoid about it so she doesn’t stick with the 5).

So now the immunity's over and it seemed Emma was going, but now I know she is likely going to vote Kage out, which is good that it isn't me, but I hope no idol play kills Kage ahh.

My plan of wanting to vote our JAKE or NED didn’t exactly pan out the way I wanted to. The McBITCHES alliance decided that voting out BIRCH is our best option right now. They’re difficult to maintain conversation with and apparently they have a connection with Lucas on the other tribe. If there’s a swap that kind of connection could be bad. However everyone in this game has some kind of connection. It’s not necessarily a bad thing. NED and I have a bit of an alliance ongoing right now so keeping him around could definitely be beneficial.

Both tribes are going to tribal. All 3 Immunities are at the other tribe and that is exactly how I wanted things to go. I wanted to keep the options for our tribal as open as possible 1/8 chance to be voted out is way better than 1/5, not that I could've been there for 24hrs to do the challenge anyways, but yeah. Long story short Matt approaches me and asks me to work together to keep the Ancient Thera ticket between us, just to properly find out what is going on there. Because for some reason a lightround has been activated from ancient Thera and an extra vote was cast, that wasn't revealed and nobody wants to own up to it. None of the ancient Thera people seem to wanting to talk about it. Matt gets the ticket, goes there and tells me that he has to fullfil this 1 task otherwise he loses his vote. Besides that he tells me that Malik is on the outs of the other tribe and Birch's option apparently was either, no advantage for themselves but advantage for the tribe or the other way around with a disadvantage for the tribe. So Kage lied : ))) I know that, Matt knows that, Sarah knows that. Kage is definitely NOT trustworthy. But who do we vote now? The idol has been found (somewhat likely by Kage, seeing that he mentioned the door quite a few times), but it also could be in the posession of literally anyone else. So it has been my goal for the entire cycle to stay good with everyone and make sure that if there is an advantage being played, it isn't played against me. Kage has been going around all day making sure the vote is on Emma, what I am okay with, since Emma has been literally non-available since the game started. But yeah let's see. Last tribal prove 1 thing and that we can most likely count on many advantages to be showing up in a season like this, so in the end. Anyone can go home...

Right now, Emma's on and has been informed she is getting votes. Dennis claimed she wants to go on Kage, which confused me only because I thought he already told me but I guess that was just Nicklas and/or Matt...Matt at least told me haha so I hope this won't be flipping over on Kage but yeah the next few hours should be interesting

So my alliance with Ned, Kurt, and Sharifa is confirmed with Malik on the side. The vote seems to be geared towards Birch since they’re not in our alliance or Sharifa’s alliance with Trent and Olivia. Apparently Birch is voting Ned and Trent or Olivia is throwing a vote on Ned, so it looks like Ned and I are throwing a vote on Keegan in case an idol is somehow played. Doesn’t matter to me as long as I’m not voted out. But after that I want my allies safe hehe. I think there will be a tribe swap next. I don’t really want to throw a vote because if i’m on a tribe with trent and olivia or keegan i’d have to own it or lie, either way there could be a good amount of tension. SOS!

The closer it gets to tribal the worse I feel about the vote possibly being BIRCH. They’re just so lovely and fun to have around. NED is an alright dude but he’s so inactive compared to BIRCH or literally anyone on the tribe. It’s sort of painful to be voting out someone I genuinely like in the off chance that they align with someone they previously played with it a swap happens. But such is the game. In the long run keeping NED is actually going to be better for my game. Right now he’s currently just an extra vote to be used by whoever he sticks by. So I’m going to do my best to make sure that it is me he’s sticking by.

I’m really really scared they’re all lying to me and it’s gonna be me tonight but I’ve just gotta go with the flow I guess. I don’t wanna look like a fool

have been mega busy but here's the lowdown Oliva and Trent are frickin chaches who think they're running the show but they're dumb Sharifa is my #1 now Sharifa Kurt Jake and I are in an alliance and Malik is our 5th number and we've formed to put a stop to Olivia and Trent But this vote we are voting out Birch because we don't want to cause a ton of chaos before the swap. And I am getting votes from Keegan and Birch so Jake and I are voting Keegan in case Birch plays an idol. I'm concerned about Oliva and Trent voting me as well, causing a 4-3-2 vote. I tried to convince everyone to vote Keegan/Olivia/Trent but no one wants to make any ripples. If I go home because of this I'll be big mad. Keegan sucks at this game and life Olivia and Trent also suck at this game and should leave the internet forever.

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Okay so it should be Emma going tonight. I don’t like that bc I like Emma a lot but I guess people want whatever is easiest. TBH I don’t like Kage that much so I am just itching to flip but I know it’s too early to be a crackhead like that. So RIP Emma. Here are my thots on everyone Kage - a little brash and not fun to talk to, I want him gone like now. Matt - very nice and smart and needs to go before it’s too late. Sarah - I am coming to love her. Dennis - I <3 him. Nicklas - Cool but a lil much sometimes. I really try to vibe w him because I wanted him as my #1 but he’s hard to read. Andreas - Same as Matt. I think he’s easier to read but I think he’s also better socially than Matt. Anyone else - idek. I want a swap or sumn. I’m getting a little bored of these ppl. Also fuck whatever person got me eliminated from the last challenge. I was just trying to have funnnnnnnnnnnn! But everyone who got a necklace deserved it bc they worked so hard.

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Emma is fighting to get Kage out. And this is exactly why we’re friends. We literally just chose the same person because we don’t like him lol. I wonder if it helped that I tried convincing Sarah that Kage voted her the other day. Dennis is low key against it because he doesn’t want anyone to get mad. But I think imma try seeing if people would be willing to do it

***20 mins later***

Okay welp. I tried. Emma’s been too inac tho and most people don’t think they should save her Whatever ig. I’m okay with it. Hopefully it doesn’t get back to Kage I tried to get people to flip I only really dislike Kage on my tribe. And have been less connected with Chris. But I’ve talked a lot with Dennis, Lukas, Matt, Sarah, and Andreas so as long as no one gets paranoid, the swap we’re all expecting shouldn’t be bad.

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writingismyhappytime · 7 years

Text

Bucky Barnes (Part 5)

Bucky Barnes x Reader (soon)

Warnings: Language, Violence, ex boyfriends, angst, Bucky to the rescue

You can stop being a jerk at any time, you think, crossing your arms as you listen to Stark address everyone. All the Avengers, or at least the ones on earth, are gathered in the conference room, surrounded by glass walls and expensive electronics.

Rogers is sitting across from you, frowning as he listens, blonde brows drawn together. Bucky sits on his right, looking uninterested. He's not even sure why he had to come to the meeting, if this is another one of Steve's ploys to try to get him more involved with what's going on. After all Bucky has done, with as much guilt as he feels, he just wants to pretend he doesn't exist.

"That's all we know about what's going on so far. Destroying the aliens weapon has got them retreating, but we don't know for how long," Stark is saying, looking down at the phone in his hand. "We can't relax, not until we know for sure they're not coming back for a rematch. Defeating them showed we're a force to be reckoned with, but if they bring friends to the next party ---."

"We'll defeat them too." Rogers says firmly, although you know how unlikely that is. "We're going to defend this world from anyone who thinks they can take it."

So confidant.

"How's the Hydra search going?" Natasha asks, her hands clasped in front of her on the table. "Any news?"

"They're underground again," Stark shrugs his shoulders, but you don't miss the look on Rogers face. "I have sources all over the world looking, but they're good at keeping to the shadows."

Riiiiight.

You purse your lips as you lean back in your chair, wondering how the kitten is doing. You've had him a few days now and he seems like he's gaining weight, he's lively --- you're probably going to need to worm him though. You've gotten him some toys, a little box in the bathroom, and he seems to be making himself at home.

You still need a name for him, though. He's an orange fluff of chaos.

"So far, I think we have a little time to relax." Stark eventually says, the first thing to grab your attention again.

Time to focus on your bakery, you suppose.

You glance at Bucky, his eyes flicking up just as you look at him. You offer him a small smile, one he slightly returns before looking away. You lean against the table, propping your chin on your hand.

Really, you wonder how bad of condition your bakery is in. Is there a lot of structural damage? Can the beam be replaced and everything be fine?

Is everything doomed?

It's doomed, isn't it?

It feels doomed.

You feel your pocket buzz, and you frown as you reach down for your phone, the screen still cracked. Stark obviously hasn't replaced it from the jungle incident, but it still works for the most part. You slide the screen open as you see the unfamiliar number, frowning.

Unknown number: Cora we need to talk

Eh?

The fuck?

Cora?

You hesitate, your eyes flicking around the room before you lean back, dropping your phone into your lap nervously. Is this those Hydra freaks again? You'd told Stark about them, how you'd surprised them with a tree. It's not impossible that they'd get your number, but it's also not a good thing.

You: Who is this ?

Unknown number: an old friend. we need to talk.

You: not until i know who the fuck this is

Unknown number: meet me at your bakery at five.

You: like fuck i am. leave me alone.

You click the screen, making it go dark. You're not meeting anyone like that, that's incredibly suspicious! Freaky, ominous, terrifying --- a bunch of other words you can't currently think of. You're a little curious as to who it might be, how they have your number considering you've switched alias's three-four times.

How did someone from Cora's life make it to this one?

You glance around the room, but everyone is getting into a deep discussion and you're suddenly not interested.

Your phone lights up again, and you tense.

Unknown number: i know youre coming tonight. you never let me down.

Never...?

You: who the FUCK is this?

Unknown number: come tonight and you'll see

Ahuh

You: yeah im not doing that

You stuff your phone into your pocket, deciding to ignore anymore texts you get.

You give the room one more glance, and push away from the table. This conversation doesn't concern you anyway, you're tired. You'd rather stuff carrots in your ears then listen to Stark drone on for another hour.

"Uh, (Y/L/N), where are you going?" he asks the second you stand up, your long hair trailing down your shoulders.

"Uh, I'm leaving," you retort, heading for the glass doors.

"You can't just walk out on an Avengers meeting!" He blusters instantly, and you roll your eyes.

"I'm not an Avenger," you remind him, tugging the door open. "Adios." You give a half salute before walking out, shaking your head at how stupid they all were.

People overcomplicate things.

"That girl I swear," Stark growls as he sees you disappear, crossing his black suited arms. "She doesn't care about anything!"

Bucky sighs, leaning back in his chair. Who had texted you? You'd tensed the moment you'd first looked at your phone, so something was bothering you. The way you'd walked out, all stiff, nervous --- he noticed, even if the others didn't.

Something's wrong.

~~~~~~~

You can't believe you're doing this.

You frown as you stand in front of your bakery, looking at the gutted remains. Your hands slip into your jacket pockets, and you lean back on your heels. This is a bad idea, you know it is. You shouldn't be here, you should've told someone --- yeah, but who? You don't exactly have any friends.

Bucky doesn't count; besides, he would have told you no.

You chew your lip nervously, then tug your phone from your back pocket. Well, it's already a few minutes after five, and you don't exactly see anyone around. This could just be a fluke, some stupid game, and you're the idiot for falling for it.

You sigh, and your fingers tap rapidly across your screen, sending a quick text to Bucky. You hadn't meant to be so abrupt leaving the meeting, but those texts had made you nervous. You'd paced about it all day, the kitten preoccupied with the new toys you'd bought him. He should be okay on his own for a few hours, but you still want Bucky to check on him.

You: can you check on firecracker for me? I'm gonna be at my bakery for a bit

You're honestly a little surprised Bucky knew how to use a cellphone, but it wasn't like he was incased in ice for the time he was brainwashed. He was up to date on technology, although you can't imagine it's easy to text with only one hand --- you don't suppose the metal fingers are much help on a touch screen.

Barnes: sure. Did we forget something?

You: just doing some scoping

You don't have a good excuse honestly. You click your screen, tapping your phone against your lips a few moments. The breeze catches your hair, brushing it off your shoulders; you'd put it up before you left, so it's in a long ponytail now, out of your way. You glance around, your skin crawling, as if someone is watching you.

The street isn't completely deserted, it has the normal occupants, although a lot of them are living in tents in the middle of the street. You send one of your neighbors a wave before you step into the bakery, tugging open the door; you almost feel silly for using it now.

You sigh as you step inside, seeing spiders are already taking occupancy in the corners.

"Enjoy it while it lasts," you murmur, walking around the corner. "I'm going to get this place fixed and you guys are gonna have to move out."

"Still bad mouthing the arachnids, I see."

Huh?

You twist from behind the counter, startled; the door didn't ding, so the person must have come through the giant fucking hole in the wall. So silent, though, you hadn't heard them.

You frown, twisting to face the person. They're wearing a baseball hat pulled low to hide their face, supporting the local ball team. They're clothing is average, red shirt beneath a brown jacket, old jeans over worn shoes.

"Who are you?" You ask warily, crossing your arms. "As you can see, we're closed."

"And still so sarcastic," the man sighs, but his voice is familiar. You tilt your head a little as he tugs on his cap, bringing it up so you can see his face. You tense immediately, staring at him in shock.

No.

No fucking way.

You take a step back instinctively, your flight mode immediately kicking in as you see the guy who'd put you in fifty thousand dollars worth of debt, the one who'd made you have to take a new identity before his fucking loansharks killed you!

"You!"

"Eloquent. You've really not changed any, Cora." Cody laughs, his blonde hair framing his tan face. His blue eyes are pale, and there's a scar across his nose from where he got beat up because he couldn't pay his loans. He was sent to prison from trying to rob a convenience store, and when he'd left, you'd gotten the brunt of his loans just because you were his girlfriend. You were twenty years old, trying to save up, working in a bakery part time.

You hadn't had that sort of cash.

"You shouldn't be out yet," you mutter, tense as he approaches the counter. His sentence was ten years, seven for good behavior, but it hasn't even been that long! He's older looking now, more mature, with broader shoulders and a less desperate look in his eyes. You'd met in a foster home, and your relationship had gone on from there.

"Turns out, people like me don't belong in prisons." Cody shrugs his shoulders as he presses his palms against the counter, glancing around your destroyed bakery. "When we get found out, we get drafted. Just like you did."

Just like... shit.

He knew about the Avengers.

What else did he know?

You narrow your gaze at him, frowning. "What do you mean?"

"Well," he lifted his hand, snapping his fingers; a small flame appeared above his nail, flickering bright orange and yellow in the dark room. "Turns out, people like my talents. They got me out of prison early."

"People like who?" you ask warily; your heart is beating hard in your chest, you feel like an idiot for not realizing who you'd be meeting. It seems so obvious now, this ex boyfriend who'd caused you so much grief.

"I'm not gonna tell ya," Cody shakes his head, the flame disappearing as he lowered his hand. "But they're interested in you too. They gave me all the details so I could find you."

Find.... fucking Hydra!

"Are you crazy?" you hiss immediately, your eyes flicking nervously to the front of the store. "Hydra?"

He couldn't be serious!

"Ah, so you know them, cool. But yeah. They got me out of prison within the first few years." Cody was always a talker, so you're not surprised you're going to get his whole "back story drama." You're not interested, the moment you realized who he worked for, you were ready to bolt. You couldn't leave out the back door, though, considering there was still a wrecked car smooshed against the other side.

"I don't care," you snap, restlessly shifting. "What do you want? I don't want anything to do with them!"

"Don't get all hasty, Cor. You don't want to make any kind of decisions like that spur of the moment." He says, glancing over his shoulder, and your eyes follow; did he bring others here?

"Please don't tell me you brought them here." Your voice tightens; you don't want to deal with that scary bald guy again!

"What? No way." Cody instantly shook his head. "I wanted this meeting to be between us. I mean we haven't seen each other in years!"

"It's not been long enough!" You hiss, glaring at him. "Do you know what sort of trouble you got me in, Cody? Those loan-sharks were going to kill me because of you! I had to disappear and I lost everything!"

"Hey, it looks like stuff worked out for you!" he defended himself. "You got yourself a fancy bakery now, dontcha? Don't be such a whiner!"

"Whin --- get the fuck out!" You snarl, feeling your temper flare. "I can't fucking believe you'd show your face after all these years! Did you think I'd just forgive you after what you did?"

"Well, I, uh, thought after all this time ---."

"Fuck you!" You take a step, tempted to drop the ceiling on his head. "You're so --- I can't believe you! What the hell is wrong with you? I never want to see you again, I told you that!"

"Yeah, in a shitty letter six years ago!" You're pissing him off, but you don't care! You stride around the counter, your eyes on the door. "You sent me a letter, you never even visited me in prison!"

"You're the one who was stupid enough to rob a store!"

"It was your fault! If you had come with me, everything would have been fine!"

"I told you I didn't want to do that anymore!" You hiss, your chest tightening; you'd done a lot of shady shit, but you'd had to to survive. You'd stopped when you'd gotten a steady job, when you hadn't been so worried about sleeping on the streets anymore. "I was tired of that sort of life! I had a job, we were going to be okay ---!"

"No we fucking weren't! Do you think that rent came easy for me, Cora?" Cody steps in front of you, blocking your way out. "I was trying my fucking hardest to make sure we survived! That shitty apartment was expensive, and ---."

"And we could have made it!" You press, wishing he'd understand. "We could have made it, and you never would have had to worry about taking out loans! What did you even need that much money for!? Did you really think we could pay it back!?"

"I --- I wanted to get us a house, alright?" Cody flushes, and you pause slightly, staring at him.

"What?"

"I wanted a house. Somewhere we could stay that didn't have rats, with an actual yard. I thought if I had enough money, that I could find us somewhere. Y'know, be normal."

Normal?

"We're not normal people, Cody." You mutter, shaking your head. "We weren't born that way."

"But it's what I wanted for us." He says, his shoulders slightly slumping, and your eyes flick nervously to his face. "I wanted normal. I wanted easy."

"Then you should have bought a house." You sigh, crossing your arms. "You shouldn't have gambled all that money away."

"I was a stupid kid, okay? I thought I could double it! Get enough to pay some of it back!"

"Well, it was foolish! Look at the trouble it got you in!"

"Well sorry I didn't have my head on my shoulders like you always did!" He snaps defensively, reminding you of how childish of a person he's always been. "I tried my best!"

You stare at him, feeling your chest start to hurt. You can't stand to look at him, it brings back too many memories. You need to go, you never should have come here. You never should have seen him again.

And Hydra?

How could he be so foolish?

They were awful!

Did he not know what they did?

You swallow, looking away from him.

"I need to go," you mutter, but his hand closes around your arm before you can.

"Cora, please," he begs, tightening his grip so you can't leave. "Let's just talk about this. Come back with me."

"No way!" You strain back from him, twitching at his touch; he'd always been too rough with you when you were dating, you realize that now. You know the signs of an abusive relationship. but as a kid he'd been all you had, the light in the darkness. He'd taken care of you, helped you get on your feet, made you realize you weren't the only freak in the world of normal people. You both had a gift, it's what brought you together --- ultimately, it destroyed you as well.

"Do you know what those people do?" You demand, wincing as his fingers dig into your jacket sleeve, your arm starting to ache. "What their plans are?"

"Some bullshit about taking over the world, yeah. It's not like they'll ever succeed." Cody snorts. "People won't let them. But they got me out of prison, I can't bounce on them, Cora."

You fucking hate that name!

Fuck it!

You'd changed your name twice since then, and lately you'd gotten used to hearing your birth name. Why did you think Cora was ever nice sounding?

You hate it so much.

"Just --- let go, Cody! I'm not going anywhere with a fucking idiot like you!" You finally wrench away, taking a few steps back. "Get out of here or move out of my way!"

"Don't turn me down," He presses, his entire body tensing. "Don't do that."

"I don't want anything to do with you!"

"Cor ---."

"Stop calling me that!" Your voice rises nearly into a shriek as you glower at him, and you see something move out of the corner of your eye. He's always been able to get under your skin, make you lose control; it's like he's your kryptonite. "Leave me alone!"

"Don't raise your voice at me! We both know this is the best option!"

"Stop trying to make choices for me that I don't want!" It's like deja vu as you hiss at him, taking another step back, trying to put some distance between you. You want to run away, you want to get as far as possible. You don't want anything to do with him, or those stupid Hydra people! They're all stupid and ridiculous and ---.

You run.

Cody's blocking the way to the front, so you turn tail, making a mad dash around the counters and towards the back. You're hoping you can just move the car with your power --- if you can take down an alien ship, this should be easy, right?

You make it around and to the kitchen door before he catches up with you, his hand latching onto the back of your jacket and dragging you back. You shriek in alarm as he slings you, causing your to crash into the wall so hard your head rings.

Shit!

You turn just as his hand presses by your face, the heat so hot from his palm you strain away.

"You have to come with me," he hisses, his hand still tight in your jacket. He presses harder against you, forcing you to stay against the wall. You could throw him across the room, out the window, into the sky if you wanted, and yet ---- you can't make anything work. Your eyes are wide in fear, and your throat is so tight you can't speak. You're frightened of him, that teenage fear is overwhelming you again.

In the beginning, you'd been afraid of losing him, but towards the end of your relationship --- you'd been afraid to even see him. He'd gotten rough, and although he'd never outright hit you, the grabbing, the jerking around and the yelling, it had gotten to be too much. You knew he was stressed back then, those sharks had been all over him for that money, but still, that was no excuse.

He was selfish.

You don't want him touching you.

"Get off me!" You snarl, your nails digging into the wall as you squirm. "Let go!"

"Come with me peacefully and this will be okay," He says, his voice inches from your ear. "If you don't, Hydra is going to get you kicking and screaming. If you come willingly, there won't be any problems."

"Fuck you!" How's that for eloquent?

You hear him give a frustrated sigh, and about the time you make the decision to bring your foot back as hard as you can, he's letting go of you with a gasp. You blink, your head turning as you see him go sailing into the kitchen with a flash of silver.

Eh?

You didn't do that.

Your head turns, eyes widening as you see what's happened.

"Bucky!" You shriek, seeing his metal hand wrapped around Cody's neck, lifting him up against a row of cabinets. Your ex boyfriend squirms, his hands wrapped around the metal wrist. Your eyes flick to Cody in fright before back to Bucky.

What the hell!?

"Put him down!" You gasp, hastily stepping up. Your hand curls around Bucky's shoulder, feeling the muscles strain at your touch. "Bucky!"

"No! Who the hell is this guy!?" Bucky demands, his blue eyes flicking to yours, jaw clenched. He'd thought something weird was going on, so he'd come to the bakery. He'd only caught the end of the conversation, heard you shriek and then saw this guy holding you against the wall. He's not sure why you didn't defend yourself, but he'd instinctively come to your rescue.

"I'm her boyfriend, asswipe," Cody rasps, his face turning a bright red. You can see blood on his lips, and you don't know if Bucky hit him or not.

"Boyfriend!?" Bucky seems startled.

"Ex!" You say hastily. "He's not --- that was years ago, he's ---."

You don't know what to say, this is turning to shit!

"Just put him down!" Your voice is strained, panicked --- what are you supposed to do?

Bucky hesitates, his metal grip flexing before he takes a step back, releasing Cody and letting him collapse to the ground. You stare at the blonde man, not going to his side, you don't care that much. He coughs, his hand rising to his throat in pain.

You're still holding onto Bucky.

Bucky turns to you, seeing your face is bloodless.

What the hell is going on?

Cody finally staggers to his feet, looking wounded. "You're gonna regret that," he growls, cutting his eyes at Bucky.

"Don't!" You snap, but Cody ignores you. His hand raises, and you feel Bucky tense, his body going rigid as flames suddenly eat at the blonde mans palm and fingers, lashing angrily up at the air. His arm sweeps in front of you, attempting to shield you; he always has to be a gentleman, doesn't he?

"Cody!"

"No one fucking touches me like that!"

Yeah right!

Your eyes flick to the faucet, and the squeaky knobs twist, water starting to trickle out of them. Cody glances over nervously before back at you.

"I'll do it," you warn him. "I'll drench you."

"Cora ---."

"Don't fucking call me that!" You hiss, pressing at Bucky's arm in front of you. "So help me God, I will drown you."

You remember exactly why you left him now.

Cody hovers a moment, and the water pressure increases. He winces, the flames immediately disappearing from the air, although the heat remains. He glances around nervously, and Bucky presses, forcing the two of you to step back.

Cody leaves.

He just --- he glances at you as he passes by, but he doesn't make another move. He just tucks his tail and escapes while he has a chance. His blue eyes are burned into your mind, though, the look in them --- nothing is ever easy, huh?

~~~~~~~

You step into your apartment, feeling exhausted. Bucky closes the door behind you, completely silent. He'd been quiet the entire walk home, and that's what makes everything worse; usually there's some small talk, a little chatter, not this --- cold shoulder?

It's making you even more tense.

You glance behind you, seeing a streak of orange as the kitten comes racing across the room. You kneel, catching him just as his teeth latch into your shoe laces. You sigh as you lift him up into your arms, not caring if you get orange hair all over your shirt.

"Hey, fireball," you mumble, rubbing his head until he purs. "You have fun by yourself?"

You walk to the kitchen, sitting him on the table as you go to get some milk, your mind buzzing. You don't want to think, you don't want to talk about what just happened. You want to go and get some milk, heat it, and give it to the kitten. You never want to explain to Bucky what just happened.

Ever.

Or anyone, for that matter.

Bucky waits, watching as you warm the milk, a blank look on your face. He's furious, his hands are clenched at his sides, and if he opens his mouth he knows he's going to say something he regrets. What the hell is going on with you? That guy was an ex? When? Where?

"(Y/N)."

You wince.

You lean down, setting the saucer on the tiled floor before reluctantly straightening and looking at him, twisting your fingers nervously.

"What?"

"Who was that?"

"That... that was..." You flounder a moment; what all did he hear? Did he know about Hydra? Hydra wasn't Bucky's problem, it's yours. You can handle them, you can run and find a nice place to hide --- Canada is nice this time of year.

You frown, glancing at the windows before you begin to shirk out of your jacket, tossing it along the back of a chair as your hands go to your hips.

Well.

Shit.

What a day.

"He's... he should be in prison." You bite your lip, glancing nervously at Bucky as he neared you. He kept the table between the two of you, the sounds of the kitten lapping at milk the only noise. "He... I was a kid, and he was..."

You don't know where to start, you've never had to before.

You exhale heavily, pressing your hands against your face.

You can't do this.

You just need to go.

You need to get your things, and just leave.

"Did he hurt you?" Bucky asked after a moment, sounding startled. You lower your hands, blinking when he's already in front of you.

"What?"

He reaches forward, and you look down, seeing the vague marks on your arm where Cody had grabbed you. You wrinkle your nose, twisting, but they're not that bad; he didn't mean too.

Yeah, that's the line you need to repeat to yourself.

Bucky frowns, his fingers lightly brushing the marks. He doesn't like them on you, and he especially didn't like who put them there. It makes him angry, an anger that burns in the pit of his stomach for days. He wants to go back, hit that guy, make him whimper in pain.

"Don't worry about it," your voice interrupts his thoughts, his blue eyes flicking to your face. "I've had worse, obviously."

"That doesn't mean it should be there."

"Don't go all knight in shining armor on me, Bucky." You snap restlessly, stepping away from him; you don't like being so close. "Why were you even there, huh? Were you following me?"

"You acted weird today, I just wanted to make sure you were alright." He mutters, looking a little guilty. "Something was wrong."

Obviously.

"That gives you no right ---."

"Are you mad at me because I helped, or because I interrupted him?" Bucky snaps, the first time he's ever sounded cross with you. You dislike it instantly, it reminds you of the person he is, what he can do. You immediately don't like him angry, but you're not going to back down at all! You're tired of that!

"It was none of your business!"

"When it concerns Hydra, it's all of our business!" He spit back at you, seeing your face whiten.

He'd heard that?

You hadn't wanted him to know about that!

"It --- just --- just let it go!" You take another step back, your palms growing damp as you press them against your jeans. "Please, Bucky, just ---."

"You don't want me to tell, do you?" Bucky stares at you incredulously. "You're in danger, that man is Hydra, and he can ----."

"I know what he can do." Your face pinches. "Trust me. He's a danger to himself and everyone else, but he's supposed to be in prison! He shouldn't be out, he shouldn't ---."

You squeeze your eyes shut as you turn away from him, sucking in a deep breath. Even talking about it is hard!

"I just... I need to go." you finally say, opening your eyes, staring at the bare wall. "I just need to get out of here."

"You want to run." Bucky's voice is flat.

"I have too." You turn, gazing at him. "It's what I'm good at. I can get out of here, I can disappear again. He won't be able to find me this time, the ---."

"Hydra will always find you, no matter where you go." Bucky's voice is bitter, and that look is in his eyes again --- sad, wounded. "I've tried running, I've tried fighting, none of it works. This is the only place I've ever been where I've found some resemblance of peace."

You don't want to hear that.

"I don't want to be trapped here."

"You're not trapped. This isn't a prison."

"You say that, but I don't have a choice. I'll go to prison if I don't help you people," you mutter, tucking your hair behind your ears as it escapes your band. "If I don't stay around, Coulson will have me sent off for identity theft."

"No, he won't," Bucky crosses his arms. "He won't do it, he just says that. Besides, with your power, you have nothing to worry about. You can fight anyone off."

"But I don't want to hurt them. I just... I want to be left alone, why is that so hard?" Your voice is miserable, and your eyes are burning; all you've ever wanted was to have a bakery, a normal life, hand out treats to make people smile. It's the only way you know to make anyone happy, and it's all that you're good at. You've worked over a decade for it, and now it's all crumbling around you! Everything is going to hell and you don't know what to do!

What do you do!?

Your throat swells, and you hastily wipe at your eyes, but that doesn't stop the tears from falling. Bucky tenses the instant he sees the glisten on your cheeks, and the look in your eyes --- he knows that. You feel lost, devastated because everything you care about is crashing and burning around you.

He knows exactly.

"Don't do that," he mumbles, stepping up to you. He's not sure why his thumb brushes at your tears, why he feels such a strong need to comfort you. "Don't."

"So, sweet," you snort, cheeks heating in embarrassment. You don't mean to cry in front of him, that's not like you, they'd just --- happened. You feel miserable all over again, just like as a child. You can't seem to get your life together no matter what you do.

The moment Bucky mentions what happened, you'd never be able to leave the tower. Any sense of freedom you have would end, you'd be trapped. You want to be able to go outside, you want to be able to go out and get the things you want.

You want normal.

Why can't you have normal?

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