#i really fucking hate guilt tripping lmao

[paigemathews]

You don't have to be such a bitch, geez!!!!

just returning your energy, babes 💜

[nqmonarch]

Blade in Yandere Fanfics

Content Warning: Talk about Yanderes, so mentions of violence against reader and kidnapping

The fanfics I read of Blade are few and far between for a few reasons. The biggest one being a lot of the story I read is yandere themed and man why do they always make Blade out to be such a violent guy, like yes he is, but I feel like there's more to explore?? Violent yandere Blade will always have a place in the world but where is the desperate Blade who has genuinely no idea of why he likes his partner so much but knows he needs to do anything to get them to stay with him.

Desperate Yandere Blade who at first threatens you to stay with him but can't handle the way you recoil in fear. He has no idea why one reaction from you has him in shambles but he doesn't want that to happen again. Like he is beyond terrified of you leaving him for any reason. Sure, he could break your legs but what if you end up hating him so much you find a way to die or end up becoming a shell of your former self.

You relieve his mara because whenever he's with you, you're all he can think about. You have no ties to his past. And when he's with you he forgets all about what happened on the Xianzhou. You wouldn't leave him in pain alone, would you? You're not that cruel. He probably wouldn't guilt trip you, instead that comes from Kafka. After all you just made her job a lot easier, and it's in the script you should stay with Blade, if you want the best ending for all of the universe.

Yandere Blade is fucking desperate. Sometimes his emotions get the best of him, he may squeeze onto you a bit too tight and cause bruises but after seeing them that panic stricken fear returns to him and he feels afraid to even touch you. He doesn't want to scare you, he's just a scary guy.

It'd be like having a big dog, except this big dog is a wanted Stellaron Hunter and a lot more deadly. He would tank hits for you if your life was ever in danger. He'll live no matter what, you on the other hand? You're fragile. Would overstress about you getting hurt and watch you just to make sure you don't, an added benefit is whenever he sees you he feels more calm.

But if you end up trying to be with someone else? Yeah, good luck. When you first mention someone else he acts indifferent, maybe he'll watch you a bit more, make sure this person is really safe. But the moment it continues he'll be trying to bargain to get you back to spending all of your time with him, if needed he'd probably beg albeit flustered, and if none of that works he'll just hug you and won't let go.

No, this isn't kidnapping he's just keeping you still. That is until Kafka comes, and she's nice enough to make sure nothing gets in the way of your and Blade's relationship!

And why is he doing all of this?

Because he loves you, of course.

Kafka is an enabler lmao

I saw one small post on how Blade might be desperate once and I was like this is my life now. I can get behind desperate Blade. Then I ended up accidentally making the post about Yandere Blade because Yandere content is about all I consume (didn't plan to write any though tbh). Oopsies?

[sweetcollywobbles]

my yandere!leon headcanons so far MDNI

hello! these are just a few headcanons i had about leon as a yandere and a person in general. there is nsfw below the cut, so MINORS AND AGELESS BIOS FUCK OFF ‼ also feel free to send me your thoughts on yandere!leon and your personal headcanons if you have any!!

xx

sfw

⟢ he's self-aware that what he's done to you is horrible. he knows you have every right to hate him, but that doesn't stop him from wishing you would love him back. he never meant to hurt or deceive you, but he's lost and given too much. leon wants someone to come home to, share a meal with, and feel needed and wanted. to receive a sliver of what he's given out. so forgive him if he's being selfish when it comes to you, but he deserves happiness too. so why not help him play house?

⟢ smells of bergamot and lavender. it’s nice and relaxing, but also musky and woodsy. he read somewhere that lavender calms the nerves, so he just absolutely lathers himself in the scent. Sometimes you swear he smells like sleep personified. unfortunately, he’s still a man, so he uses old spice lavender body wash. for cologne, he uses sauvage by dior. 

⟢ normalcy is hard. how can anyone go back into society as if the amount of  horrors you’ve seen, aren’t there? like you’re fine and everything is fine? so, leon has found a pretty good remedy, company. each friday, a sit down dinner with claire, chris, and jill. pizza, wings, and beer every sunday with chris watching whatever football game is on. sometimes they may not know the current standings of teams, but it’s fun to pretend that they do. yet friends can only fill the void so much, maybe with you, the world won’t feel so lonely. 

⟢ he has a major sweet tooth! likes his coffee with cream and sugar, won’t drink his coffee black unless he really needs it. leon will always have room for dessert lmao. has tried to bake, but he just doesn’t got it 💀something just always goes wrong. a big ice cream/frozen yogurt guy. once a month, leon will make a “everything under the kitchen sink” sundae. he’ll dump whatever pints of ice cream into a large bowl and top it off with whatever candy, syrup, and whip topping he has. leon is usually on a very strict diet, so why not splurge?

⟢ leon on his off time has taught himself how to smoke/grill meat. only knows how to make small side dishes to go with the meat that he’s made. mashed potatoes and grilled veggies are usually his two favorite go-to sides. 

⟢ i'm a firm believer that leon's receiving love languages are quality time and words of affirmation with a hint of acts of service. leon works a lot, whether at the office or away on another mission, this poor, tired man is always working. so when he's home be prepared to be attached at the hip. leon also has a lot of self-doubt and guilt about what he's done to you, so by telling him how much you love and appreciate him, it feeds his growing delusion that what he's done is necessary. you need him just as much as he needs you. it also adds to the reassurance when you do small things for him to show your love and appreciation, whether it’s real or not. like cleaning and folding his laundry, making him a cup of coffee in the morning, back rubs after a long day, or even packing his lunch for the day. 

i’m giggling at the thought of leon keeping all the small notes you add to his lunch, reading them when the day gets tough. or maybe he has one or two in a go-bag when he has to take small out-of-state trips for work. 

⟢ building off the one before, he won't admit it but he's clingy. he prefers showers, but will choose a bath if it means he gets a small intimate moment with you in the morning. not in a sexual sense, more in a “let’s bask in each other’s presence”. never sits across from you at a table or booth, always next to you. same thing for the couch. there could be a thousand pillows on the bed, but he always chooses yours. leon will also never lets you sleep facing any windows/doors for security reasons. there is no such thing as personal space with this man.

⟢ since leon is a yandere his reciprocating love language is all of them. he wants you to stay with him, so he is willing to drown you in his love until it's the only thing you'll ever know. i'm going to break this down a little in sections.  

⟡ leon isn't the best when it comes to choosing the words that relay how he feels. the words feel wrong and it leaves him awkward. so any sort of verbal praise from him is rare. the most you would get from him is a thumbs up and a "sure" or a pat on the back with a nod.

(😀👍🏻 <— leon fr) but, put a piece of paper infront of this man and all of a sudden he's writing words that’ll make shakespear blush. it's words so sickly sweet it gives you a toothache. leon really hates himself for not being able to verbal relay this to you, but maybe you can feel what he wants to say?

⟡ leon is just really good at showing you how he feels than telling you. I KNOW THIS MAN WOULD GIVE THE BEST HUGS BECAUSE HE SO DESPERATELY NEEDS ONE. just imagining leon giving you a bear hug, fully enveloping you, and he can't help but hold you a little closer. maybe even holds your head a little more to him. his eyes are closed, soaking up the loving moment, he might even do a little sigh of relief. because with you, he's safe. with you, he's loved. and he just wants you to feel the love he has for you through every action. to feel what he can't say. (SORRY I GOT OFF TRACK!!) leon also always has to be touching you in some way. his favorite places for kisses; nose, cheek, neck, or hand. every morning, when he's holding you close, he'll leave small repeated kisses on your neck until you wake up giggling. not really into lip kisses, but will sometimes start a lazy make out session. just loves holding you whenever he can and making sure you feel loved at all times.

⟡ leon will also do the most for you. having a hard time sleeping? he's awake with you, lightly scratching your back in small circles or holding you close while he's running his fingers through your hair. leon just can't sleep knowing that you're having a hard time sleeping. hungry but don't want to cook? he's in the kitchen cheffing it up. putting love in every plate that he makes you, even if it isn't restaurant quality. i feel like leon will also leave you small notes around the house in places that you would find, but it's little drawings instead of words. in the slow cooker, a picture of a flower. in between the dryer sheets, a bad stick figure drawing of what you think is of you and him. at some random page of the book you're reading, a simple heart. 

⟡ leon loves spending time with you. it doesn't matter what it is, even if you're doing nothing. he wants to do nothing with you. his favorite thing to do with you is listen to you. whether you’re rambling about the latest tv drama he knows nothing about or it’s late at night and you’re reading whatever book you’ve picked up. he loves being in the kitchen when you’re cooking/baking. he’s your dedicated sous chef, so feel free to boss him around like your gordon ramsay. although, i’m so sorry for the amount of “my name is sue” jokes he’ll make. loves watching movies, putting together legos/ doing diy crafts, and playing mario kart. 

I NOTICED THIS WAS GETTING LONG AND IDK IF I EXPLAINED THIS WELL BUT IM HOPING I DID. THIS WAS SOOOO SELF INDULGENT.

⟢ when it comes to pet names, leon will add a “my” to the start of it. he’s possessive and it shows in his actions. will often say: my girl, my sweetheart, my baby, my angel, etc.

nsfw (i’m not good at smut sorry)

⟢ the praise problem does not equate to what happens in the bedroom. i'm sorry, i just simply refuse. a complete 180, he's a talker. whether it's saying something so outlandishly lewd like he wants the whole world to hear or sickly sweet nothings in your ear, this dude will NOT stfu. (and it makes me giggle and kick my feet) I WILL PUT MY LIFE ON THE LINE AND SAY THAT THIS MAN IS ABSOLUTELY FERAL IN BED. he's always stressed. from his job, from the lack of self care, from the past that just never seems to leave him. he's on edge. he has healthy ways of releasing it, but sometimes the gym or extra training isn't enough. 

⟢ which can lead to leon being a little mean in bed. he’s absolutely degrading the life out of you while also giving you whiplash with the praise that he gives you as well. leon is a lot more aggressive and at some point you’re just a fleshlight to him. spanking, choking, biting, spitting, you name it, it is on the table. also licking whatever drool comes out of his mouth makes him lose his mind fr.

⟢ i'm not good at writing smut, but i do have an idea of what i think leon's favorite sex positions would be. the first one would be mating press. it's extremely intimate and it allows him to be close to your face and neck than the regular missonary position. again, he really gets off knowing that he's the one getting you off. another postition would be cowgirl, it gives him full view of your chest and face, except you're not really riding him. again, he just using you as a fleshlight like giving you the perception that you’re in control. another would be you on your belly and him basically putting you in a headlock. IDK WHAT IT’S CALLED BUT IF YKYK. and leon just saying the most down right atrocious things in your ear would make me go crazy. 

YOU’RE GONNA SIT THERE AND TELL ME YOU DON’T WANT HIS HUGE ARMS AROUND YOUR NECK, YOU’RE INSANE. 

⟢ last but not least, ✨moaning✨. i like to think that he’s a grunter and whiner at the same time. idk if that makes any sense? he’s loud but not obscenely loud. but sometimes when he overstimulates himself, he’s a complete whiner like lovi (again if ykyk).

[howlsofbloodhounds]

Delta anon here again and I am loving these most recent posts. I have many ideas now.

For one, if Color was distressed enough about not knowing how Killer is doing, I feel like Delta and Epic would let him call - under the exception that they are allowed to listen in. Color obviously protests this, but they refuse to budge. Because although they do want Color to recover from the abuse and manipulation he's going through with Killer, they also know how bad his panic attacks get when he thinks a loved one is dead. But the immediate minute Killer starts guilt tripping, one single word about it, one of them physically takes the phone away and hangs up while the other restrains Color from stopping him. No hesitation.

And if he sneaks out? Oh, buddy. You have an engineer for a friend. You bet your ASS that Delta somehow managed to put a location chip on him somehow - phone, hoodie, pocket, you name it. He managed to put it in - and incredibly well hidden. So if Color sneaks out? Once they wake up and realize he's gone, they follow Delta's tracker straight to him.

Obviously once they get Color back (and once Delta and Beta are allowed their time of beating the shit out of Killer and probably psychologically fucking him over a bit, too), they first check to make sure he's ok. Then they launch straight into scolding him for it. Because really, what the fuck? We understand that you're worried for him and that you miss him, but that wasn't ok. You need to be ok with not being able to peek over Killer's shoulder (hypervigilance) 24/7 to make sure he isn't doing anything wrong. You can live without him and he can live without you.

Now this is probably about when Color starts trying to defend Killer, or get out of it somehow. They shut that bullshit down instantly.

Delta calls it as it is. It's abusive, toxic and manipulative. And although Color hates it - deep down, he knows they're right. He won't ever admit it to himself, but he knows that if Delta or Epic were somehow in this situation, he would call it what it is, too.

Epic takes a gentler approach, knowing Delta can definitely speak for the both of them, so he focuses more on making sure Color is ok at the moment and isn't getting too upset. He steps in when needed, but let's Delta do the most of the talking. Because Beta is telling him exactly what to say and how it's abusive. Because unfortunately, poor Beta knows what an abusive relationship is like.

Color, of course, would probably try to flip it - he'd try to play therapist again, asking how Delta/Beta knew about abuse, why did they? Yeah, that wouldn't fly either. That also gets shut down very quickly.

The road trip would last a very long time. The bigger a fight Color puts up, the longer it lasts. And then some on the way back. Because like hell are they gonna be letting Killer near right now. They love Color way too much to just sit on the sidelines and watch him be abused and manipulated by a mass murderer.

Oh hello again delta anon so happy to see you!! /gen

Also may i propose some bits of Ekko vs Jinx for either Cross vs Killer or Delta vs Killer.

cuz like. the exhausted walk, the death glare and sneer, the unhinged giggle, and “ooohhh..look who it is! the boy SAVIOR!” either that or ekko can be murder/dust protecting color & delta all the possibilities. or just good old delta protecting color & epic.

(But for my own sanity im gonna say it doesnt manage to ever come to this type of confrontation. please i cant take it i need them to go back to being themselves!! 😭) (thats a lie i love the drama of it all lmao)

and of course delta put a tracker on color lmao. get chipped idiot.

and like..imagine that color has a hard time putting seeing himself as completely blameless simply because killer made him into a forced perpetrator. and hes like i said that or i did that and i hurt him and delta & beta have to remind him of not only the context surrounding all of it—how killer pushed and pushed and manipulated—but also point out that killer and chara and nightmare had this exact same shit going on.

if color can claim killer wasnt to blame for what chara and nightmare made him do, then how can he be to blame for what killer made him do. breaking that cycle baby hell yeah.

oh i wonder how itll all end. Will it keep escalating, will it just be a period of enforced no contact between color and killer until killers able to get it together. or will color and killer run off eventually.

aw god imagine colors interactions with stage 1. id imagine he didnt have a clue what’s going on really—what would he ever think this was okay? where did the logic come from?—and also id imagine hed have missing gaps between the memories of color comforting him and the memories of color punishing him—why? what happened? whywhy? this cant be real what did he do?

because through it all stage 1 would immediately jump to the conclusion that he did something. he cant say why—he doesnt understand, what was he thinking? he cant connect with his other stage’s logic—and yet theres also this sense of..fear. around color.

which is thinks is fucking stupid hes the reason it even happened at all. and the whole thing sets stage 1 back entire leaps and bounds in his process and he keeps his mouth fucking shut and tries force himself to deal with the guilt and shame and misguided fear and ooh all the drama.

hmm does anyone have any ideas for what happens with stage 1 or what just happens next 🤔

[ladylooch]

Hi, can you please write a timo meier imagine about reader and timo having sex and reader fakes an orgasim at night and tells some of the wags about it next day about how she really fooled him with her acting, not knowing that timo and his teammates overheard everything, his teammates laugh at him and timo gets embarrassed and upset at reader?

Eager Beaver with Timo Meier

A/N: Sometimes I write things and I’m like lmao a man would never say this, which is why we all love it 😆 Hahahaha. Poor Timo just wanted to show you a good time after he got home! Why you gotta do him like that!? Literally!

Word Count: 1.1k

Warnings: SMUT 18+ Content, Swearing, Angst. 

Tonight, Timo is an eager beaver. He’s been on the road for a long time, bouncing around the  East coast. He came roaring into the bedroom when he got home, flipping the covers off your body and dive bombing your breasts. He spent time kissing along the swells, but then he was dipping into your pants with quick fingers that had you reeling trying to catch up to what was happening.

“Please tell me you are close.” He moans into your hair. His thrusts are sooooo slow. And you’re nowhere near there. But his breathing is picking up. And his moans are filling the air of your bedroom. And you think the right thing to do is to perform a little bit to help him out. 

“Yeah, baby. Feels so good.” You coo into his ear, tugging his ear lobe between your teeth. His jerky hips buck into you as you heighten your breathing, moaning his name and arching your back like you’re coming. Timo finishes inside of you, melting into your body afterwards. 

“I needed that.” He confesses, running his hand along your cheek. “It was too long of a trip. I hate missing you that much.” You smile, ignoring the guilt of your conscious that pokes at you for pretending.

He’s happy. You’re happy. No harm done. 

The following day, Timo is whistling as you and him walk into the Children’s hospital visit you both agreed to. A few other team members and their significant others are joining too. He is happy after being reacquainted with you and has an extra pep in his step at seeing some young fans too. The Sharks are filming the visit for a PR video, so both you and Timo get mic’d up when you enter.

“I think this is where I leave you.” He smiles, leaning down to kiss you. The boys are going to do room visits while the girls are heading to some arts and crafts time. “Thank you for coming. It means a lot to me.”

“I know. Me too.” You kiss him back with a little tongue that adds a bright glint to his eyes. 

“Last night not enough, eh?” You widen your eyes and laugh off the pinch of guilt. 

“Good night, huh?” Erik’s wife, Melinda, asks you.

“Ah, yeah I’m letting him think that.” You chuckle. You and Melinda have a good relationship and it feels silly to lie to her about something so minor. 

“Little bit of a show?”

“Eager beaver didn’t know how to wait.” You joke back. 

“Babe.” Timo calls urgently. “Your mic is hot.” You cringe, looking at Melinda who covers hers in shock too. You had completely forget. 

“Sorry.” You cringe, looking at the producer who shrugs like he doesn’t care.

“We can cut it out.”

You look over at Timo who’s cheeks are red and eyebrows pulled down in agitation over his blue eyes. Can the producers cut it out of his brain too? Shit. You open your mouth to say something and he shakes his head, walking off with the rest of the group to the elevators. You close your eyes, knowing him well enough to understand he is really upset. 

The day drags on, The kids are cute and you do your best to interact with a positive attitude. But all you want is to see Timo and explain. What you’ll say, you still haven’t figured out, but it has to be something to soothe him. 

At the end of the event, he is somehow in a worse mood than before while you’re walking to the car together.

“What the fuck was that?!” He snaps at you. “I just spent two hours being annihilated by the guys for that. In front of the PR team. And young kids.” 

“I’m sorry. I forgot about the mic.” 

“I don’t..” He trails off, hands slapping against his thighs as he keeps walking to the car. “I don’t know what to say.” He completes his thought when you’re both in the car. You try to reach for his hand and he pulls away. “No, I’m really upset. I’m going to drop you at home and leave.” His tone is final. He refuses to look at you on the speedy ride home. You get out of the car and Timo roars off behind you before you’ve even gotten into the front door.

It’s agony being at home without him. You have no idea where he is. Your heart aches for what happened this morning. You feel so awful about what you did last night too. Why didn’t you tell him to slow down? Why didn’t you show him what you needed instead of pretending everything was fine? Why didn’t you remember the mic they put on you literally two minutes before that happened?

The sun has set when the garage door begins to open. You set your glass of wine on the end table and turn to look over the couch at the door. Timo comes in with take out bags for dinner and a bouquet of flowers. You hide your face in the couch cushion, feeling completely unworthy of whatever romantic display he is about to do. He puts a hand on your hair, tugging your pony tail for you to look at him.

“I was really embarrassed earlier and I didn’t know how to communicate with you about why.” You rest your chin on the back of the couch while he kneels down to be eye level with you. His thumb strokes your cheek while the rest of his fingers caress your neck. “I missed you and thought I showed you how much last night. That’s why it was so upsetting. I can take the heat from the guys. Whatever. But not giving you that experience feels awful.” 

“I’m sorry. I should have told you, but you were so eager. And it was hot. I loved so much of that but I was also half asleep when you came in and…” You close your eyes, having a hard time seeing his forehead crinkle in worry. “It wasn’t enough.” You finish, not having any other words to describe it. He nods. 

“That is fair.” He leans forward to share a tender kiss with you. “Let’s make a deal to not do that again.”

“Never.” You agree, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He lifts you over the back of the couch, standing with you in his arms. Your ankles hook together at his lower back. The hug lasts for awhile, softly stroking each other’s back, leaning heads together and sharing a few more smooches. “I love you.” You say sweetly. He smiles, the corners of his eye crinkling in joy. 

“I love you too.” He murmurs. “Come see what I got us for dinner.” 

[ladysomething]

rushed back home. pretty sure I broke like 7 different basic driving rules from the driver manual in my country that even kids are aware of. also my best friend says he's never letting me drive ever again. he also says you're kinda a mastermind. I may not have a driver license for tomorrow, or a car to drive, but I do have new hatred and also a new level of crush (ness? English-is-not-my-first-language moment) for Max Verstappen. and my brother as well. he also pleged alliance and eternal honor to you, Madds.

5+1!!!!

1. honestly Charles, I get you. cramps are how some criminals should be punished. make them suffer for their wrongs. make them regret ever living. make them feel pain for comitting their crime. (says the lawyer. at this rate, for tomorrow I will loose not one but TWO licenses. who cares)

2. as stated beforehand, the Max crush that you've been cooking in me with this fic is absolutely massive. gigantic. astronomical. and let me tell you something. Max taking care of Charles during his pre-heat melted me. my ex boyfriends should learn from him, because that's the bare minimum and yet they didn't do shit. and Charles here has this lovely dumb idiot (affectionate) while he hates him. honestly goals. where do I buy one.

3. I kinda understand why Max distanced himself from Charles. sorta. actually barely. but the guilt trip that my man has to be going through has to be though. what reminds me

4. FUCK MATTHEW AND FUCK LANDO AND FUCK THE DOCTOR WHOSE NAME IS NOT WORTH OF ME TO REMEMBER. oh and FUCK FERRARI AND FUCK MCLAREN AND FUCK EVERYONE. GO TO HELL PIECES OF SHIT. yeah, that's it I think. my poor baby Charlie (IBEIDNDOSNDLSBDOWHEODIAJS I went batshit with that. just so you know. worried Max might be my favorite Max. maybe slightly behind horny, protective and obedient Max) did NOT deserve that and everyone should rot in the darkest pit of hell for that. no less. cramps for you all.

5. we love Jean-Luc in this house. that was the resolution the three of us got to. my man deserves a cold pillow on both sides, a cup of tea and the chance to see his family anytime and to be happy forever. please don't make me hate him, I love him too much.

+1. if you've told me at the beginning of the year that I would be eating dinner with both my brother and my roomie while we were reading a quite explicit Lestappen omega verse fi in TV, no less, I would've not only not believed you. but died of shame or something like that. my yearly choice of a dead dove do not eat fic (I've been learning about tags!!!) has united this household. who would have thought that.

+2. Max is down BAD. but you know what, so is Charles. they really are exactly like the other. when Charles said that he was feeling lonely all I could think of is how Max said the exact same. and the hospital part had me kicking my feet, jumping around excitedly. then I alarmedly had to go all the way up to see in which chapter we were. and after, I just felt scared. chapter 16 is my worst nightmare it seems. how funny.

+3. hun, how has been your hand? I hope you're feeling better 🩷 as much as I love weekly uptades I can't help but feel worried that you might push your hand a lot. the chapter was absolutely lovely but remember to rest please 🙏🏼 speaking on my behalf and the other two readers' (and I hope everyone else's) we don't want you to be hurt, regardless of the fic.

thank you for the early uptade, even if now I'm a reckless driver to my country's police. at least I didn't read it while I was working. I don't know how I could've managed that.

I will take eternal allegiance wherever I can get it. I am making men kneel before me, one at a time, and so I'm glad to add two more to my collection.

cramps as a form of punishment .... you get it.

no because that whole heat sequence with Max .. melted me. he's so written by a woman coded in this fic (which you'd hope. considering he is. lmao)

he's hurt!!! he's sad!!! Max is going through a phase right now ok

the doctors name is Leo, and funnily enough Charles got Leo the same week that chapter came out and I was like ... Charles reads wygig confirmed

THIS IS A JEAN-LUC STAN ACCOUNT and honestly????? I love that you all love him. maybe he should get his own fic one day. who knows.

+1. the war being over because you've bonded over the lestappen war .... there's something so cosmic about that.

+2. everyone being on the edge of their seats for 16 ... god I'm good.

+3. thank you for the well wishes! it's wayyyyy better now, thank god.

p.s. I think maybe your brother and your roommate would riot if you read it at work without them sooooo

[1941-crowley-slut]

Rant incoming

I cannot STAND how my mom talks to me about church when she wants me to go.

For context, we obviously stopped going during covid so we were away for 2-3 years and though she watched the live broadcast every Sunday, I didn't. In fact I always deliberately left the room at that time to stay away from it. At some point I told her I don't believe anymore (honestly I remember having doubts and questions (Crowley coded lmao) since I was a kid but 11-12 is where it really just set in that I don't have that kind of faith). She didn't take ir horribly bad but told me at the time she'd like it if I still joined her at church sometimes. Which, fine. Okay.

Fast forward to when she is actually going back to church and just throws on me the news that I am going too. Doesn't ask, just tells me I'm going. And I'm pissed as fuck the whole day after that, to the point that when she asks me to find my clothes for church I actually just keep looking at my closet and want to tear everything apart. I really avoid conflicts with my mother but this one had me. I was PISSED. So when she finally asked what was going on I told her "I don't want to go". And it wasn't so much that I wasn't willing to do it for her, it's that I felt she had no regard for my beliefs and just wanted her way. A

And funnily enough, she did. Because the reponse to that was: "I know, but I'd already told you I want you to come with me sometimes. Is it so terrible, you can't even make this one little sacrifice for your mother?"

Not me being guilt tripped, but anyway. I don't remember the end of that conversation but I remember other times. Once again for context, I was in 12th grade the year that passed and it was incredibly difficult study-wise. I had 6-7 hours of school every day, then anywhere from 2-5 hours of extra studies (sometimes almost immediately) and then I also had to do homework for both school and extra studies (seperate) and a lot of it was learning things by heart, plus we had tests and exams all the time like ALL the time, some weeks I'd have 5 tests in 3 days and I was going insane. Plus on extra studies we wrote exams on Saturdays. So it was all very very hectic and mom knew that and she was very awesome for the most part, but when it came to church she just didn't. Listen. To me.

She would go "You'll come this Sunday because the next weeks will be harder for you" but the matter of the fact was, she didn't know what weeks were harder for me. She thought for xyz reasons that later it'd be worse, but in reality the times she wanted me to go i was drowning in work and getting anxiety attacks and mental breakdowns cause everything was so much. Too much. And I'd say something like "Well this week's pretty bad" and expect her to get the hint but she'd go "it's just one hour in the morning, how important is it really, you probably wouldnt even be studying then"

(Not to mention it's not really 1 hour cause I need like an hour just to wake up and get ready, then 20 minute drive, the service was either 1 or 1 and a half hours, then it was however long chatting up with all the church people, another 20 minute drive home and then I was tired and we would have lunch and I just wanted to relax and sleep etc etc. So it wasnt at all just an hour. And maybe even if I hadn't gone to church that day, it'd still be afternoon and I wouldn't have gotten started on any work. But at least I would have spent some time for myself and then would force myself to work. But anyway again)

She just does this thing where she doesn't even ask or give me the illusion of a choice. Cause the truth is that church is usually not that bad, I can deal with it, it's fine. But I hate it just because she makes me feel forced to go. If she was just like "Hey, could you come with me to church this Sunday? I'd like that" I would be much happier to go. I know she doesn't want to be by herself and that she worries about what the church peoole will think (which pisses me off as well but thats another story), I don't mind keeping her company. But I mind when she suddenly springs it on me on Saturdays that "We're going to church tomorrow" and even if I show my discomfort with it she's like "Well you have to come sometimes."

And she just she has this way that I don't understand that when she says anything related to me going to church (e.g. "Find your clothes for tomorrow to see if anything needs to be ironed"), she says it in this firm tone and so suddenly that you just even subconsciously know you have no say in this. I don't get to react to this or have an opinion, it's just something I have to do. Because she said so. And if I was to try and react, she'd circle right back to guilt-tripping me (which at this point would be really funny because I have been trying lately to help her in every way I can so it's not like "You do everything for me and I'll do this small favor for you by coming with you", I have been offering to help with chores, I've been offering to learn stuff I dont know how to do so I can help her around the house, I have been helping as far as I can. But nonetheless I know this will end badly if I try to argue)

Anyway yeah it's just. I'm tired. At first I thought it was her desperate attempt to get me back into the church, to make me believe again. Now, though I still think she clings onto some hope about that, I also believe she thinks I'm too far gone for that and really just wants me there for company and for the eyes of the world, so none of the people know I'm not a believer anymore and supposedly think of her as a failed mother.

I'd just like to be counted like an equal person in here. Especially what with reaching adulthood and all. Like she actually scolded me when I said "I'd like to go out with my friends" and waited for their approval, because she said I was just making announcements and she wants me to ask next time. Even though I was still essentially waiting for them to say yes or no, I wasn't announcing anything. And she's said this before too, I'd leave for extra studies a little earlier sometimes to go get bubble tea and I'd tell her and then she'd go "I want you to ask beforehand". Why? She wasnt even home, no one was, and I would've left like 30 minutes later anyway cause I had to, what's the big deal? Or is it just about being controlled, hm? Is it that she can't watch me be an independent person? Feels like it.

Anyway my point was I have to literally ask for everything, like with a "Can I" and a question mark and all, because "We might have something else planned" (which as I said, if they had something planned for us to do would they not tell me? And either way, if something came up I'd just tell my friends I couldn't hang out after all cause something came up and it'd be fine. But no, she insisted.) but when it comes to me she just says "You're coming" and that's it and I HATE it. I HATE IT.

If she thinks she's bringing me closer to church this way someone tell her she couldn't be more wrong.

[limp-macaroni-biscuit]

Blame @lunarmourning

My oc Renold’s lore!!!!!

TW: drüg abuse, SA, Su:c:de, and mental anguish in general.

When Renold was younger he didn’t have a mother so he was raised by his father. His father wasn’t the worst but he would often have manic episodes and would drive drunk with him in the care. His father only got worse and worse not to mention that there was also a baby boy that his ex wife birthed before she left him lmao. So Renold basically had to raise his younger brother. By the time Renold was 17 years old, his father was at his lowest. and while the boys were at school Renold’s father shot himself in the head with a shotgun.

This left Renold to take care of his brother by himself, Renold suffers from bpd and severe OCD. It was extremely stressful for Renold and he would often repeat behaviors that his father would portray. Renold would often threaten to off himself to his brother during manic episodes and he would guilt trip his younger brother into believing that it was his fault that their dad was dead.

When Renold went to college he had his brother live with a distant relative(in who he knew nothing about) there he met Natasha, she was a punk rocker who was very into the YOLO lifestyle. Natasha had introduced Renold into the wonderful world of narcotics. The things she peer pressured him into doing included: Heroin, marijuana, painkillers, acid, and coke. Renold was an aspiring musician, he was actually a pretty good song writer. So good, in fact, that when Renold went to the hospital due too an opioid overdose, Natasha had stolen all of his work, and now in present she’s very famous and shit.

Okay, this was all during his first and second year of college, he couldn’t quit college because he decided he was better than that. Renold had to go through several different roommate switches until he met Daniel. Daniel was practically the best thing that happened to Renold. Daniel loved Renold like a lot, but Renold being the freak he is, he manifested that love into violent outbursts of overtly sexual behavior. Renold due to his trauma had manifested into hypersexuality. Daniel eventually broke up with him but for some reason Renold just won’t let that twink go.

OKAY!!!! AFTER COLLEGE, Renold got a job as a delivery driver. This is where he met Clark. They would have friendly competitions on who could deliver the most packages in one hour and shit like that. Clark was dating a really shitty guy who barely cared about Clark’s feelings. Clark broke up with his boyfriend and he was going to ask Renold out UNTIL!!!!! Renold starts dating this guy and I’m going to call him Desmond for now because he doesn’t have a name rn. Desmond was shit, like trash, I HATE HIM. Desmond, EVEN AFTER RENOLD TOLD HIM HE WAS TRYING TO STAY SOBER, kind of just like got him back on the drug train.

Trigger warning for SA

When Renold was under the influence, Desmond deciding to take advantage of him because of Renold being a “tease”. Renold was trying to avoid having sex too soon in a relationship, he wanted to make sure he wouldn’t just fuck it up like he did with Daniel. After this Renold tells him off, threatens him with a knife, and he basically goes straight to Daniel’s house for comfort. And that’s basically it.

In present Renold is dating Clark, frenemies with Daniel, and besties with Daniel’s barely friends with benefits/girlfriend named Evren. And yes he goes to rehab.

[iwtvdramacd18]

ngl the way that u responded to that ask from me felt a little weird, like i was legitimately looking for information about the history of racism in america, also while stating that i did not know a lot about it because, surprise surprise, other countries often wont teach these sorts of things.

like literally, i've tried to look into it but i dont want to be getting the wrong information like i am afraid that i might get. if other US black fans have been providing historical context/ analyses then maybe link it??? Like im literally looking for answers/ things about it to help me understand better and you just like didnt give a fuck. c'mon man.

You did not ask a singular question in this. If you were looking for information about antiblackness you did a really funny job of wording it, seeing as all I see is you telling me I sound demeaning for making a joke with another black person in the midst of some racist fuck talking about how much he hates and can't relate to Louis, and how the show's focus on blackness throws queerness under the bus. How about next time you come with genuine questions you'd like answered instead of trying to guilt trip me bc you don't know history that me and my family suffer from lmao?

[nova-they-exist-yup]

Hey I uh. How do you think HMS and Sanders sides would interact with each other on an individual level? What would each they think of eachother? I know you've gone into some detail on ao3, but there's an awful lot of 1-1 interactions to be had and do you think any of them could potentially be interesting?

Idk I'm curious what your thoughts and opinions are. I feel like Mind may end up intimidating a lot of them tbh, on purpose or not.

ooooooo i have many thoughts

Soul & Remus- best friends. they meet and they have a sick ass boss battle and then they’re like “so when do you wanna meet up?” they play SO MANY PRANKS on EVERYONE ELSE and are just so ksjaisnsksnsjsn

Mind & Janus- They get along semi-well. They get into debates often that always end up extremely off topic yet heated. Like they could be arguing about who did it in a murder mystery, and then 30 minutes later they’re arguing about which cereal is the best. Janus is seriously concerned about Mind’s agenda tho.

Mind & Logan- They get along well. At first. And then Mind does something that makes Logan snap like he did in dwit but FAR WORSE. After that Logan apologizes but doesn’t forgive Mind for whatever he said. After that they get along well again. They also watch Death in Paradise a lot. So yeah.

Heart & Patton- Patton immediately adopts him. Heart (accidentally) manipulates Patton to the point where he takes his side on literally anything. It takes a talking from Janus for Patton to get untangled from the guilt tripping. But they do get along pretty nicely. Heart also introduces Patton to Bluey and he LOVES IT.

Heart & Virgil- Eh. They know each other, as Patton adopted them both, they talk sometimes. Such and such. They do bond over music though. Virgil infected Heart with emo music and now he blasts Paramore at 3am because he’s a tiny bit down.

Soul & Roman- oh they hate each other at first. Like absolutely despise. They get into a boss battle and Soul wins, Roman is like ‘fuck no, rematch’ and then proceeds to get beat up like 9272827 times. When they do get along though they’re the best duet to ever sing a song. Literally they harmonize so well. And they watch Disney until like 5am.

BONUS: Whole & Thomas- They bond over the whole having different parts of yourself as actual people thing. Thomas helps Whole with his headaches, heartaches, and cramps, and Whole helps Thomas with social anxiety. They’re pretty good friends and would be great roommates.

I really want to write a fic where it’s literally just sides and HMS shenanigans but i want to add lore but don’t know how to lmao

[absolutebitchgetter]

abg

Yea, the title is about me. So? it might sound like a fucking Kanye West song title but he is a peak artist. (i do not support anything anti semetic)

So, lets just put the nail in the coffin (Notice how im not saying final?)

I wont stop until i get an actual recognision from the entirety of Comic Studio.

I am prepared to namedrop, so you better change your ways if you know who you are.

So, lets get right into it.

There is proven to be guilt tripping and manipulation as shown by this post.

Do you really think im going to give up trying to stop pure rage filling into peoples minds?

Do you think i want them to end up like me?

I ended up horrible. Anger management out the fucking window. Ive proven many times i try to change that and i still am.

People laugh, ridicule, annoy and aggravate me.

I still havent gave up, even if the admins (clearly biased) try to silence me.

Doxxing scares, harassment, impersonation, ridiculed.

Thats what i have to go through.

Monthly, weekly, daily.

I dont know when it comes, it just does.

Everyone hates me, but do i want to change that? Yes AND no.

If everyone hates me, i get no drama while everyone blocks me. If everyone loves me, i get popular and every post i do gets a few votes or comments. However i am pulled into much drama.

Anyways, actually getting into it, everything i say is silenced or put down. Even when i mention the doxxing scares, "oh yeah sorry about that". Just some half assed apology! Are you fucking serious! (You know who you are.) Who gives a fucking shit if i am one of the most problematic users there, i got harassed and incorrectly banned. I am continued to be harassed, antagonised and made fun of. Its just irony at this point. The moderation team needs a rebuild and i will not stop until my justice is served. That includes an unbanning. The cs discord isnt any better either. I was once made fun of, but it seems to have understood me about my quest to solve my anger issues. I still cant forgive it though. However a certain moderator in there deserves a name drop. Their nickname is "homosexual" with a Binding of Isaac pfp. They proceeded to time me out and no one else for an argument involving me and 4 others. I was the only one timed out, it was not fair in the slightest. My rejoin involved me asking someone to spoiler Binding of Isaac (it is a very scary game for me) and i proceeded to get targetted for it. They also had screamed at someone and pinged someone who was very uncomfortable with pinging. The mod proceeded to scold them while the victim was asking them to stop very politely. How they were mod i have no fucking clue. Its honestly scummy how the admins do nothing either when deathzy says i "harassed them" (i dm'd them about bashing my post and the fact that i apologised for the nazi joke). They then proceeded to say they were "right" in the situation when getting Onion_rabbit involved by them faking harassment. Its scummy how both of them didnt get any reprimanding and i get a perma ban.

Honestly, if i dont get this post noticed, there are going to be much namedrops in the next post. In the Oka situation that got them banned, i do concede, the sex jokes and the f slur were kinda dodgy. Even if you can reclaim i dont think you should be saying a slur. But i think a week ban should have been more appropiate. And if we're banning for sex jokes, Deathzy should be banned aswell. Just look at their fucking posts. They also drew ACTUAL FUCKING MPREG. how the fuck is that not being called out? simple answer.

They are popular.

Popular people dont get any reprimanding or a lot of the site quit.

its actually a joke how i get banned but none of the people listed arent.

Also, if you search up "toxicomic studio" on Comic Studio, read it.

So, in conclusion.

Nobody has listened to me, and this will be the final time.

Lmao!

If i get banned in the cs discord, so be it. The world shall listen to ABG's tune of fucking facts.

People who can add to this:

@voynich-exists

@microwaved-toast

@theokatgoesmeow

@tammerz

[kvetcher2]

i really appreciate your post about how people feel about their loved ones getting cosmetic surgery. These "this is so self centered"-replies honestly kinda shocked me. We are allowed to have emotions about the suffering of other people AND also EXPRESS these emotions, what the hell. I hate this policing of what thoughts and feelings you get and don't get to voice. If someone i love gets her features surgically altered i feel upset bc a) i love her and feel horrible about her apparently hating herself/her features so much that she's willing to take such a risk & spend so much money to change them b) i do wonder, if she hated this part of her face or body so much, and mine looks similar, does she also find me ugly? and c) i loved her face. it is a familiar, trusted face, to which i connect feelings and memories and that i would always recognize for the rest of my life, that i looked at for hours, that i maybe even grew up with and saw grow from a child to a unique woman's face. I get to be emotional about this??? lmao

Haven't we long acknowledged that our personal actions often have an impact on women as a whole? Similarly, but kinda the other way around, I continue to draw motivation to never pick up shaving again, despite being very insecure about my body hair, from there being the chance that another woman or girl will see my hairy ass legs (lol) and finally have a representation of a woman who actually leaves her natural bodies as it is. I draw inspiration from the fact that my personal choices can affect other peoples feelings, that i do carry a certain responsibilty. We are all humans, we have emotions and we also hold some power over other people's emotions! Also women who choose to go under the knife and literally risk their lives for an unnecessary procedure are not too fragile to hear the impact their actions have on their loved ones! There is a difference between guilt tripping or emotional blackmailing and letting your loved ones know how their struggles might also affect you! 10-ish years ago my back then friend asked me whether i was still self harming (i had stopped a couple months before that) and when i said no, she said that she was so glad to hear that, bc it broke her heart so much when she learned i did that and she would hate if i still did. And that just gave me a completely new perspective that i had never thought about before. I hope this ramble made any kind of sense to you, english isn't my first language but i really wanted to tell you that YOUR POST IS GOOD! <3

It is ok to talk about our feelings on fucking tumblr, also not every post needs a disclaimer like "this is a highly nuanced topic with a gazillion different viewpoints" blablabla omg some ppl need to chill for once. have a nice day <3

thank you <3 really did not expect the original post to take off or I would have added a bit more nuance but seriously I do think some people on here just want to add their pithy one liners and then get angry and embarrassed when we treat that as an invitation to have an actual dialogue. aaand on the other hand a lot of people seem to think that adding comments to it re-stating exactly what I already wrote is somehow necessary. but hey just another day on tumblr.edu

[another-corpo-rat]

after playing river's story again (note to self: NEVER play that after the stephenson questline again wtf-) and having an innate love of angst and drama, and Night City being a place with no happy endings, it got me thinking on Randy and something i might explore someday

rambling mess of thoughts under the read more lmao,

Randy survives, and maybe in some other life he might have been set to recover as well as much as someone can after the shit he's been through, but not in NC and not for where they stand on the foodchain but Randy is tired, he's so tired of being as low as he is there, he's tired of the sleepless nights and the fitful nightmares when he does sleep, of the jingle caught in his head and keeping him trapped, he's tired of his little siblings laughter and energy and stupid, naive fucking happiness when there's nothing to be happy about

it takes a lot of begging and not an insubstantial amount of guilt-tripping that makes him feel even more like shit afterwards for him to convince his uncle to teach him how to shoot so that he never feels so weak and defenseless again. he knows his uncle too, has heard his mum and him talk about somebody called V; they saved his life apparently. he never met them before they fucked off to somewhere else and how great could they have been if they left his uncle with a broken heart? he swings between not caring to feeling like he hates them- but he uses their name for what he wants, says he wants to be able to save himself the way they saved him and his uncle gets this stupid, loving but forlorn little look in his eye when he nods and agrees that makes him feel even more like shit but he sleeps a little more soundly with his own iron under his pillow

makes him feel like he's stepped up a rung on the ladder

eventually, River tells him more about V and he's only half listening really, taking aim, imagining the cans in the distance to be a face he never wants to see again. they had silverhand in their head- he misses a shot for the first time in weeks. listens a little more keenly the next time his uncle talks about them, even starts asking questions, about their gigs, how they got started and something takes root in his head

v was high on life, running wild with teeth bared in a grin. no fear, cos what did they have to fear? randy still wakes up gasping for air sometimes and he doesn't want to anymore, his finger is itching, and he has a ton of ignored texts and missed calls from Natalie and the others- he keeps ignoring them as he reaches out to the local fixer, getting his foot in the door with small jobs, because they won't trust him with the high-paying shit off the bat and he knows that but its frustrating- he starts calling his lexington Retaliation, starts looking for a crew, tells his mum he's doing courier work - she doesn't believe him, but she doesn't press. he has 'peter pan' on the tip of his tongue ready for when she does and its more cutting than a knife

she'll look back in a few short years and wish she had pressed sooner

[msommers]

leave, education, kill, wish for riya, maeve and meredith!

muah i place kees on ur nose // oc asks: firsts

LEAVE: What was the first time your OC left home? Why? If they've never left home, do they want to? Where would they go?

RIYA — victor had been killed and she was ((sebastian voice) allegedly) framed for the crime and there were a few too many people eager to make an example of a mage/noble who wouldn't be let off easy this time, so her family broke her ass out of jail, handed her a bag of supplies and told her that she had to get the fuck out of the city until it was all resolved. she wouldn't have made it past city lines if she hadn't gone to beg bastian for help tbh.

MAEVE — when c- 🤢 when card- 🤢 when carden swept her off her feet, right into a carriage that would take her out of white orchard. she was excited about it at the time and later on in life would certainly prefer to never return to that place, but damn. if she doesn’t wish it had been under any other number of circumstances that helped her out of there.

MEREDITH — she has no memories of it because she was far too little, but almost certainly meredith’s first trip was to denerim when she was still a toddler because of some duty or other her father had to maintain. she was definitely one of those babies/kids that was great during travel and she got brought along to most everything because of it.

EDUCATION: What was your OC's first experience with school or education? Were they homeschooled? Apprenticed? Sent away to study? If they didn't have any kind of schooling, where did they learn about the world or pick up the skills they have now?

RIYA — answered xoxo

MAEVE — very basic lessons from her mother while she was still with her parents, learned the fundamentals of reading and writing because fanette couldn't stand the idea of her own child Not having those minimum levels but she also hated being the one to actually teach her. after her move to vizima, carden would have thrown all kinds of tutors her way so that she would be a Presentable and Proper Lady when he took her places. if there's one good thing that man ever did for her it was providing the resources to make her one of the most knowledgeable ladies around in his haste to up her intelligence score, i suppose. she also developed a very lovely handwriting style due to a particularly detail-oriented tutor. she absolutely could not stand the woman who taught her politics of the continent but no amount of complaining had her sent away smh

MEREDITH — she would have had multiple tutors and trainers i’m sure, being the daughter of the second most powerful family in the kingdom lmao. perhaps more lonely of an education than she would have liked as her brother was already in his studies and she wasn’t sent to learn with the other children in the castle, but she excelled nonetheless. i actually think she would have really liked the historian we saw in the cousland origin, old ass aldous who tutored the kids of the castle and surely taught meredith her histories aka one of her favorite subjects.

KILL: When was the first time your OC killed someone? How did they feel about it then, and do they still think about it now? If your OC has never killed before, would they? Under what circumstance?

RIYA — answered xoxo

MAEVE — we've stumbled across a rare maeve question i don't think has been considered, at least in default witcherverse. it would happen a few years into her time traveling with witchers, and likely while with one of them because that's when she's in the most danger (usually). she'd be fucked up about it no doubt. the panic to wash herself clean, the guilt over ending a life, the fear she could have torn apart a family somewhere, the stress of her own life being disrupted by a constant reliving of the entire event. you know, all that fun stuff she didn't sign up for. give it a few years and she'll probably still be sad about it, some amount of guilt will always linger because her heart is so gentle, but her own life experience and learning that of others will have helped her come to terms with it. (especially because it was likely in some sort of defense??? i don't see her just popping up on the kill feed for fun)

MEREDITH — when homegirl opened her bedroom door to find one of howe’s men standing there with a weapon drawn and she was forced into immediate combat. panic is all she felt then, and a rising anger the further she and her mother pushed into the castle during their search for bryce and an escape. she has never felt guilt for that first kill—or the dozen or so that came after it that night—because they displayed no guilt for the murders they took part in and showed no mercy in going after her next, but flash-forward some years and she feels a sorrow over it all having taken place. it wasn't fair to have such horrors forced upon a young girl who had done nothing wrong, merely had a father who perhaps needed to reevaluate his friendships more often 🤷‍♀️ sorry bryce that was uncalled for, you're already dead about it lmao

WISH: What's the first thing your OC ever wished for or wanted? Do they still want that, or have their desires changed? If so, what changed them? If not, how far would they go to fulfill their wish?

RIYA — i mean, for two decades i’m sure all her wishes were dumb as hell because she was a spoiled, sheltered girl. wishing her birthday celebration would be bigger than the last each year, wanting a new dress in the style of one she saw at a gala or smth, etc etc. her first genuine wish would have come during her time on the run, curled up next to bastian, wishing with a desperation that she'd never felt before that they could just go home.

MAEVE — any answer i think of is sad as hell. i imagine that the earliest thing she can remember wanting so terribly would be the approval of her parents because it always seemed Just out of reach. if she tried hard enough on the next task then she’d get the pride and affection she craved! surely that’s true!! it wasn’t tho, we know that. the only memory maeve has of her mother looking at her with pride was on that day carden took her away, which was a comfort for a few years while she still believed she’d finally done something good enough in their eyes. but then the “wait, she was just happy that i Sold To A Man for a fantastic price” reality hit and she’d do anything to forget that final day together.

MEREDITH — probably something cheesy like wanting to one day be like her father. the desire changed a bit over time, though not by much, spurned on by her witnessing too many moments of people being treated horribly because of how they were born. she wished to one day hold enough power and influence to make changes for good in the world, to care for others and make their lives better. historians and scholars are gonna debate for who knows how long about what schemes she enacted to take that power but like. it was right there. sitting out in the open. was she Not supposed to take it? c'mon now 🙄

[not-poignant]

if ur still doing the writing meme (i've liked all ur answers even the 'unpopular' ones a haikyuu fic i loved once got rewritten and i'm still sad i never saved the first one because i didn't realize the author didn't like it and i wish i'd commented more or sth to make them know we loved the og so much) -> 13 and 34 plz

Ahh I'm sorry you went through that anon re: the Haikyuu! fic. Please don't guilt-trip yourself for it. Authors have lots of reasons for rewriting a fic, or deleting a fic, and sometimes even when it's had thousands of kudos they will still do it.

It sounds like you commented in general (since you say 'commented more' instead of just commented) which is like... really awesome. Who knows, maybe the author thought they were giving you the better version! You can always leave a comment and ask if they still have the original chapters on file somewhere if that author's still active, and if they'd be willing to share them with you somehow.

Now to the meme:

13. What is a subject matter that is incredibly difficult for you write about? What is easy?

I was going to answer this with 'easy, everything I don't write' lmao because I just avoid the stuff I find hardest. But that's kind of...not the point. So in all seriousness:

Big ensemble scenes with big ensemble casts. I don't know why I insist on writing these a fair bit, but anything that has more than two characters in a scene is a struggle. More than four is like 'OH GOD.' It's just a lot of work in a different kind of way.

Happy endings. It's not that they're difficult to write, exactly, it's that I'm often...kind of sad to be letting go of the story and I feel like I've already let it go at the point that I'm writing the happy ending. Like, I am not happiest when I'm writing the happy ending, though I want it to feel really really good for readers. I love happy endings, but I also get really noticeable lag and slow down a bit towards the end of stories, because I have less motivation. An ending means letting go of that version of the world, or that installment, and my brain is like 'dun wanna.'

Beginnings/openings. I don't really enjoy the first few pages of a first chapter and I know I'm not often good at beginnings which further preys on my 'everyone is going to hate this story' insecurity I have at the beginning of a new thing.

Action scenes used to be in this but they're not as much anymore. But I do really struggle with sex scenes too! And I think that's a reason I don't write them as much as I used to. It's not a bad thing, one of the reasons they're harder is because I want them to be good and I just don't want to do carbon copies of previous sex scenes and I've now written like 200 of them.

As for things I find easy, hmm. I'm going to go with broadscale characterisation and dialogue. I also think generating character and place names is really easy, and inventing species to populate a new world is easy. I also think describing nature is easy for me, though I sometimes feel silly or like...I'm boring people when I describe it, so I try not to do it toooo much.

I'm bad at writing description but hilariously I don't find it difficult. x.x Maybe that's why I'm bad at it.

34. Thoughts on the Oxford comma, Go:

*takes a breath*

Since you don't mind unpopular opinions I hope you don't mind this one: I fucking don't rate the Oxford Comma and try to avoid using it wherever possible. It's really easy to avoid some of the errors an Oxford Comma can prevent through context, and frankly, the Oxford Comma can create its own issues which can be prevented through not using it. You can avoid or introduce ambiguity whether you do or don't use it, basically, one solves some problems and introduces others, the other solves some problems and introduces others.

In that sense, it's understandable why it's not mandated in many style guides. It is preferable in US English, but damn, I'm not from the USA. And the Oxford Style Guide recommends it but the Oxford Style Manual recommends against it. Australian Style Guides, including the one issued by the government, generally oppose its use, but it's not mandated, so it's really at the author's discretion.

I've tried using it. Like, I've sat down and thought 'right I'm going to give this a good shot' and I just really don't like it. So you'll see a handful here and there in my writing where I thought 'okay let's try it' and then just been like nahhhh.

I have no problems with other people using it, and those people can have all the extra commas I'm not using because damn, they'll need them. :D

--

From the Weird Questions for Writers meme!

[carnivorousyandeere]

i was wondering... would the triplets share a darling? i was thinking of a dynamic where like. Hailey kidnaps her darling and Rayleigh just cries and guilt trips them when the darling in question expressess how they hate being stuck there. but maybe they're too possessive on their own for this to work out? idk lmao

Anon I adore how you think!! I can definitely imagine that, depending heavily on Darling’s temperament and tastes.

Unlike the werecats and werewolves, who work best together, or the mer of Cliffside Inn who mostly work better on an individual- or duo-basis, the Student Council is definitely meant to be mix and match, without any specific configuration working best. You can ask for all, some, or just one. Any combination or competition between members is meant to be viable here, as they have no “canon,” route to how their Darling meets them, or whose Darling they actually are.

CW: heavy injury to Reader/Darling, manipulation, kidnapping

That being said, the triplets would definitely constitute a particularly difficult group for most Darlings out of the Council, without any of the “tempering” influences of the other three council members.

Hailey’s strictness and mean streak, plus Kaylee’s philosophical mind games and better-hidden but still present mean streak, plus Rayleigh’s distraught neediness??? A fucking nightmare 😭

I could see Darling warming up to Rayleigh for the reasons you stated, which might sow some bitterness and jealousy between her and the other two, though not necessarily enough to tear them apart. It might even influence them to treat you more softly, hoping to catch a glimpse of the rare genuine smiles you seem to reserve for Rayleigh.

However, I could also see Rayleigh being just as draining as the other two— imagine after being kidnapped, trying to escape, and getting your ankles broken by the other two, here comes Rayleigh crying and seeking comfort/reassurance from you, begging you to reassure her you really didn’t mean it, that you don’t really want to leave, seeming to forget you’re the one in need of comfort since your ankles just got fucking broken. Broken by two people who claim to love you, two people who have those same hands, those same dead green eyes as Rayleigh.