#i really hope it wont be too bad of an appointment. i dont wanna have to walk out or something. but i dont really have high hopes.

[pizzapizzadickz]

I feel a lil bit better today after getting some rest in. I always feel better when I can spend a day at home. I think tomorrow I'll wear my noise cancelling headphones or something so I can chill even more.

...funny how my way to chill is just trying to eliminate all external stimuli

(Pt 1 for description rant)

[gakomondad]

Day 2 - Overthinking

I slept a lot, not wanting to get up Memories are painful Need constant distraction

I still dont know if baby wanted to break up but didnt want to hurt me so she tried going for an easier route I still of course dont know if she wont miss me and will decide she doesnt want to be with me after time But it hurts But I trust her so that makes it easier, just gotta shift mind to that manualy and I feel better (:

Looking back I feel like communication would have helped, I had no idea I was that heavy for her It came out of the blue to me despite how down she felt before that, I thought I only helped I made it difficult for her tho

I got super emotional but pushed down so I can talk it out and convince her we can be a partnership and communicate and figure it out, but later I let my emotions out and I regret it

I felt like I meant so little to her that she didnt wanna figure out a solution, thats how it felt, so I wanted to be away for a bit I didnt realize that might play right into her issues with the relationship by worrying about me and what she should do

I feel like baby was trying to be a constant pleaser to me, I didnt realize until today Putting so much effort into the little things, when her life is already tough…. I couldnt handle that myself in her shoes... Im deeply sorry... And when the effort is crushed… like how I unintentionally made her feel bad… then it just seems like a trap situation where work is hard and for no reason

I am not sure if thats the case but I could understand if so looking back I really hope we could establish better communication and a feeling of equality Babys needs are just as important, but I need to know them! She is not responsible for my happiness, I am a grown ass man (: She can influence me of course, the same way I can her But there needs to be clear communication in a safe accepted space So we can adjust I should do a better job making her comfortable and not feel responsible for me, thats entirely on me! She could put trust in that operation and test it out (: I hope I do a better job, will work on myself rn and long term

I wouldnt mind giving space, not just alone time I feel that one of my other mistakes were not giving her space but talking to her I keep on wondering if I only didnt share how I felt and I was stronger, while giving her space instead… maybe it would be good.. But I wouldnt have the realization until now…… such is life And thats okay

Learn and move on (:

I can find a balance within myself now with better understand but also need to work on that long term Will need to establish comfort for baby so she feels independent and comfortable to bring up anything I am neither her parent nor child, I can handle stuff (: we should communicate as equals !!! Especially would be easier if its small stuff while its going on, little concerns, makes it difficult for both when its all at once But that will also get better with time and is understandable for rn (: My therapy appointment is moved to the 31st of October, I hope that gives me some clarity… its still 10am rn… will see how the day goes Therapist sent me an email with a test to do... I am procrastnating on that haha, will do it during lunch time tomorrow (:

Just some random thoughts: Moving on if we were to do this, we might benefit from a weekly relationship mental wellness check with preset questions and safe space like: "how do you feel about us" "Is there something weighing on your shoulders about us" "What is something you haven't shared with me this week for whatever reason, its valid and its welcome, I will do my best to provide a safe space for expression" "Is there something that looking forward might not be sustainable, maybe too much of this or that, that you would like us to adjust so it doesnt turn into a bigger thing later?" "Please share if any worries of this weeks events with me"

Mostly cause what happened was a big deal and I would prefer if I was making things easier for baby instead of heavier, no matter how, be it with space or whatever (: we can communicate better, I can provide more comfort for both of us

It should not be seen as a responsibility tho, should be seen as an opportunity to make things better even if its a bit of extra work, making things sustainable would be much much better (: Should always be honest, maybe the most difficult part

I wish I could have wished baby a safe flight.... She's was on my mind anyway, I really hope all went well and she is doing okay.... fuck I miss her... 😩 I went to see my parents today, people were concerned about me cause I was more honest this past week about my mental health the past year... actually ever since 16 and how I've been to therapy on and off They seemed concerned and understanding, I am being more vulnerable, I think I am gonna try to not close off but just stay in the middle with them, not open too much, nor close off, I think thats just the healthy way as of rn I just want something sustainable and to work on my attachment style (: Went to see Jaws with my uncle and his wife The movie was goood, I actually really liked it, no wonder its a classic! At the end my Uncle said "keep strong", mofos are getting too concerned like wth, I havent changed stuff, I EVEN AM BETTER than a year ago 😩 Anyway... I feel weird saying uncle and his wife but I cant call her aunt, she is like 5 years older than me They are so cute together, she doesnt care about people and being social, just wants to be alone or with him At the mall food floor, my uncle was on the phone for a long time so she pulled him by his belt and slapped his butt, he got embarassed hahaha Man I wanna be adored that way in public 😩 Maybe I just wanna be happy like them He really loves her and takes care of her and he's happy, I love that! She also really loves him, I can see that, she is happy! They also are caring for me and are really nice... I feel grateful My dude got a good looking russian woman thats close to 20 years younger to wife up while he's unemployed, bald and she is the breadwinner and on top of that she loves him, thats it... He used to have women in his life for his money when work was going well, superficial relationships... He wasnt happy... not like this Its a weird world but I am very glad for them, been seeing them almost every week, skipped last weekend... good stuff (: Anyway, I worked a little today, doing laundry and will relax soon I miss my baby, I hope she is doing well I hope her move was alright I hope her stuffy nose got better and she is healing well (: This blog stuff kinda keeps me sane so far ngl Final thing, I don't blame baby for anything... not at all What happened was inevitable and probably good long term We will learn and move on (: Ill do my best to meet baby as a better man...

[blurays]

.

if i could be sure id die then i really would kill myself lol

with my luck though i'd survive and it'd just ruin my life a bit more

im really tired no one cares about what i go through anymore im tired of feeling like i have so bad but feeling like its not bad enough for anyone to really care lol

i was like doctors are ruining my life n my mom rolls her eyes and says its only six weeks like yeah its six weeks of nothing but pain and depression and isolation so on and then it still hurts and the next thing starts

no one gets or cares how sad i am lmao i wouldnt wanna deal w sad bitter unpleasant glass bones paper skin terminally ill girl either probably so i cant blame anyone but here we are. i am living for literally no other reason than that i am Supposed To

ppl claim they care but everyone has their own problems. and lies when they say they understand or empathize w mine. and the couple people who do care abt me my mentally ill brain wont let me process it and i feel vaguely bad for them and they live like several thousand miles away. and theres always the distant thought that theyll probably hate me eventually too

everything feels rlly insurmountable lmao every time i have a little bit of hope things just get worse. and again no one even cares like. sorry that my slow death and near constamt physical misery that makes me wanna fully give up seems to really inconvenience everyone else

also really fucking mad abt the fact that if anyone should be in the experimental no sling is better than keeping u immobilized for 6 weeks category it should be me someone who doesnt do sports shit and is incredibly young for a replacement but doctors suck lmao im going to try at my next appointment but i rly might just be like u can put me into physical therapy rn or dont but im not ruining my own quality of life so that u can be lazy and prescribe everyone the same type of recovery 

[thinkthinkt-think]

today i let my thoughts go free again

since the start of the year i always tried to go with somw super not healthy diet, where i would eat like only fresh fruits and veggies for like ig 4 month? slowly adding some ither things but it would go like this most of the time

i remember the first time i was so excited cuz i really liked the idea, i mean at that time everything was like super new:

i got my own flat

i had my own job

my own money

I got out from my kinda toxic parents

everything was perfect

so one week in (started it with my best friend ) we kinda got weak cuz now we had the opportunity to order foods over ans everything

so we did it

and it was kinda yummy (not the best tbh) and idk we thought we could just start over (it was like the begin of thw year had all the time uk)

but it happened again

after one week

and again

sometimes there woulsnt be one week just a few days

i REALLY was upset and angry at myself

i even felt how much weaker i got everytime we failed

it got harder and sometimes i remember that i rlly couldnt focus on somwthing else exept food

even today i sit here with food i dont wanna eat

junk food

even normal food

idk if i ahouls feel good about how i currently feel about food

cuz everything looks disgusting

like im not hungry

i juat eat cuz i dont want it here

i would love to just throw everything exept my fruits away and just start over

thinking i would succeed this time

but i dont wven know why i want to succeed

like wow yes i feel disgusting but this time its not like my main feeling (?)

i feel so bad

i cant even put a finger on it

nothing makes me feel good or only foe a short period of time

when i ask myself why i sont want to eat

my mind wanders

and there i keep thinking

is it cuz i feel like i wanna disappeare again..?

like wait wow

this is super strange

cuz this feeling is so strong

i push everyone away like wow and im not even subtle about it

(tbh ig i can cover it good with "im tired" or people thinking im a ass haha.. ha.)

but no literally when i keep thinking back

the past days could have been good days

i dont know why i behaved like an dick

like to everyone

i hate this everyone was doing their best to brighten the mood and ahh me beeing so ungrateful I-

i dunno

i wish i could to one of the thinks correct

to live

or

to die

ig would suck on both if i rlly tried

welp

i wish i had someone i could share these thoughts with

like i dont want to talk to someone

it would always go with this "oh no look at chu" look

or maybe a weird out look

omg no

I mean

soon there will be a appointment like next week

where ig some " specialist " will talk with me? omg that rlly sounds strange

rlly since april im thinking about this appointment

it got postponed once and i rlly didnt want to go there a 2nd time

my best friend told me once "u shouls be glad that ur doctor diagnosed u so u can have this appointment, enjoy it" or something like that

but idk if i can enjoy something like that

i mean its strange cuz i wrote here that i rlly want to talk to someone about it right?

but im scared tbh

there is nothing different

if i talk with someone about it i will always feel judged

and i hate it

everyone does it

i hate it

i try to act so nobody will judge me bad

i want everyone to feel good

to think im good

to think im doing good

im not even doing it much

im getting bad at it

but wven these few times

they make me feel weak

i feel weak

i dont wanna feal weak

I dont WANT HELP

i dont need help

i dont need

i dont need help

no help

i dont need it

just want to be alone

i cant bare the thoughts

thinking its normal

thinking everyone has to live

to work

to be happy

i

i cant

its useless

i am...

it stresses me out

i sont see me there

not

there

in the future

my heart wont stop beating

can i stop

can it atop

dont be loud

can u stop

u too loud

dont worrie

give it a few hours

maybe a day

some days

and everything will be fine again

seeing these old faces

looking at them like before

but i sont want to

i dont want to talk about me

why cant i just be

be here

isnt that enough ?

cuz its hard

its so hard

just beeing

beeing there

and here

oh yea

u wont belive

u wont belive how hard

it rlly feels heavy

like

uk when as a kid sombody just sit on u so u cant stand up

it feels like this

so why should i

why should i resist

im so sleepy

i hope today

there wont come nightmares

i sont wanna be chased

i hate it

i feel horrible.

[prettyperfectdoll]

My friend recently came out as trans (they've battled severe treatment resistant depression for a decade, and so far a year of therapy focused on gender, socially transitioning and talk of medical transition has been the only thing that's helped). I want to be there for them but I'm very concerned due to all the horrors I've seen of medical complications. I'm scared to ask about this cause TRAs would label me transphobic (I'm not transphobic but I'm not uncritical of the ideology either).

okay um... fuck wjsksnsh

well first of all what they need most rn is support. someone they can confide to. show them they can do that with you (if they dont already). it's like when someone is an abusive relationship right? you cant just say "hey this is an abusive relationship, leave the person". they wont do it and they will probably not trust you anymore to confide in you.

I'll tell you straight on this will not be easy. at first, questioning it may not be the go bc they will be VERY sensitive about it. try and listen to how they feel. if they have dysphoria it's gonna be really bad, there are people who actually live as trans and that's fine you know? the world is as it is, we can only try and hope for the best, but that is how some people cope. it's not easy living in general, but if we can make it just a teensy easier... why not?

after you have their trust, try and pop some very small questions and appointments. try showing some gender critical trans people like Buck Angel and Blair White. I think if a person is so deep entrenched in TRA that they ID as trans, they'd only maybe listen to another trans person. then if it goes well, show de-trans people, there are quite a few on youtube.

you wanna take baby steps you know. it probably took months, maybe years for your friend to get this deep into TRA, it's not gonna take days to undo the damage. if they are female, I think (later on) Unpacking Queer Politics by Sheila Jeffreys is a good recommendation (if they're male maybe it would work too, but I think this is more appealing to the female public). if they start to budge and show some actual interest in desistence, Gender Hurts by Sheila Jeffreys is good too, but this is waaay down the road. Magdalen Berns' videos too.

first and foremost, right now this person needs a friend. show them they can tell you all the dirty, the bad and the good. tell them your shit too. build the trust. this takes really long, I'm talking months-on-end, years. if you're willing to not give up, though, the very least you can get from this is a profound friendship. just... bear in mind that they might not come around.

[maetaurus]

Doctor Appointment #1

so i went to the doctor today to start antidepressants. i talked to my counselor about it a few months ago but then didnt act on it. but these last few weeks have been pretty bad so i finally called and made an appointment. i know that getting help either by going to therapy or starting meds can be scary and intimidating. so i want to share my experiences in the hopes that it’ll someday help at least one person. 

so when i got called back by a nurse i was weighed which i always hate but she was nice and she wasnt judgy or anything. then we went to the exam room and she checked my blood pressure and my pulse and clarified all the medical info she had for me. then she asked me why i was there, which im assuming she probably knew already since i had to tell them when i made my appointment but she probably had to ask. so i told her that i wanted to start antidepressants and she basically just asked if i have any allergies to meds or if ive taken any antidepressants before and how long ive felt depressed. then we did some more basic info like me asking for the flu shot and her giving me a consent form for it. so all that with the nurse was fine and it was just generic info.

then the doctor came in and ive seen her once before earlier this year so i knew she was nice and i wasnt too worried. again we started off with some generic info like going over what the nurse did and stuff. this time the generic stuff was much shorter and then we got to the real reason why i was there. she asked me the same basic questions at first then got more in depth. she asked me how long id felt this way, if id ever thought about hurting myself or others, if i had a good support system, etc. she also asked me what i enjoy doing and i said youtube and crafty stuff. and she was super nice and said that i need to hold onto those things, even if its something small. but that every little thing i enjoy is important. i just really liked that she said that. she also asked how my depression feels, like if it feels like i dont wanna get out of bed and i dont enjoy doing anything, or if im sad or angry all the time, or all of the above. 

wed pretty much gotten the question part over with now and she just talked me through everything. she said that the medicine wont start to take effect for a couple weeks but even then itll take 4-6 weeks till i reach like the max effect this drug will have on me. she reminded me that there are lots of kinds of antidepressants and some might not work for me and thats okay and if this one doesnt then we can just try another. i think she did a really good job explaining how its gonna make me feel, which i appreciate. i know theres a big stigma around meds and how they change you or whatever, which btw isnt true, but she knew that too and made sure to explain it to me that the meds wont change me or my personality but its just gonna help stabilize my mood. 

so she put me on Citalopram which is like the generic name for Celexa. i’ll be starting off with 10mg a day for 6 days then i’ll move up to 20mg a day. i have a follow up appointment with her a couple days after ill finish this prescription and i dont have any refills for it. i think im going to reschedule my appointment for the day i finish this bottle so that i wont go even one day without taking it since id be able to get the next prescription that day.

i was pretty scared going into this. i was worried she would ask me what happened to make me depressed and it would get super personal but that didnt happen. she asked me generic questions that told her how i was feeling but we never got into too specific of details about why. she even gave me a long list of local therapists that her other patients have had success with so ill be checking those out. she was super nice and i felt comfortable and in control the whole time. she didnt ask any questions that were too personal and she made sure i was well informed.

i know that not everyone will have as good of an experience as i did and that the policy is probably different depending on where you live but this is just my own personal experience. i know that im incredibly lucky to have a doctor who is so understanding and well informed on what depression really feels like.

ill be continuing this like mini blog series i guess you could call it. hopefully itll be really short and this medicine will work for me but i know that it might not and thats okay. im going to tag all of these posts the same way so if you find it at all triggering then please blacklist it. i want to share my experiences to help others, not hurt them. also if you have any questions then you can message me. you can go on anon if you want it to be anonymous or if you want it to be private then use the messenger thing or just say so in your message. im open to talking about my experiences so dont be afraid to just ask me anything. 

[rieamy]

Dear diary,

Guess who’s back for another rant? This girl! Things are getting bad again. I couldn’t stay asleep for long hours anymore. Its like the 3rd week already. I’m physically and mentally tired. School has been draining the living shit out of me. Havent had any social life outside of school or game. The non stop assignments, chasing deadlines, practical tests, and soon to be exam. Because of work I couldn’t make time for work. I just know myself if I’m tired I couldn’t focus.

Ps, i kenal this guy. We’re not dating, we knew each other through game, CODM. I’ve always played BR on my own. This one game i saw this person kill like banyak, it was 10 ke 12. In my heart, i was like, GOD DAMN SON BAGUS PE DEKNI??!! So me being me i added for fun. Who knows in the future we can play together again? He invited me to play so many times. By the time i forgot who the hell is this guy la. One point I accepted. It was him & his other friend. We got along well! Just that they tend to kejar kills and there’s me. 0 or 4 kill max 😂. It got to the point of everyday i masuk cod kul 10 ish to see him online or not. We play one or two games and stayed in the lobby and chat for hours at a time. We did this, before exchanging ig. Chat, then slowly vc. Took us awhile to exchange numbers. Its cheeky of him to note down my phone number when i was otp w him and i was at Apple store. At the door of the shop talking to the assistant to confirm my appointment by using phone number. Tu pun he waited like a week to miscall me while we’re otp on ig 🤓. Forgot that he saved my number which means i can see his profile photo?? 😂 yada yada yada i like him. He knows i like him. The amount of times i burst into flames bc i got jealous eventho i have no rights to 🤡.

After 6 months, we finally met in person. Cuz u know im insecure and idw to fall so hard for this person after what happened to my last. But girl the only reason why im here ranting BC I GERAM. Like i fkin geram. He’s so stubborn and stuck w his own ways. I tell him things or actions he do that hurt me he doesn’t wanna change or make amends. He only apologise. He never said anything like; it wont happen again. He just drops and push everything under a rug in hopes the situation will get better the next day. Like, things dont work this way in the real world. Am I supposed to pujuk hati sendiri in situations after i let him know whats bothering me? A conversation about how you feel is not supposed to end in an argument. Just for once, to feel heard or validated seem so hard. When things get tough he just want nothing to do w it. He only wants the good parts but not the bad. Said that he’s too stubborn w his ways. I said, “too bad, cause that’s how u lose people. The day i go silent, is the day u lost me”. If i do mean anything to him, he will change for the better. But we’re going in circles, its never ending cycle unless he’s gonna do something about himself.

Dont know if its the fact he’s too young for me or is because he has never been in a rs. He doesn’t seem to care about anyone but himself. He puts himself first so much he doesn’t feel its worth it to put someone else’s happiness first. As a person in general , as a friend, he’s great but when it comes to anything related to a female feelings. He’s just not up for it. He just don’t wanna deal w any of that. To him its all stupid. Is what i feel is stupid haha 💔 my friends keep telling me he’s young, lagi tak pernah masuk rs or date anyone. To him this is all new. My patience is wearing thin. I did not talk to anyone all these months just to know and meet someone who’s not ready & not ready to make any changes about himself. I took my own time to fixed myself, be it emotionally or as a person. I went on a chatting and dating hiatus. Guys wanted to know me, i went out here and there but I haven’t find someone that i really want in my life until i knew him. And tada he’s not ready. Who’s the clown? Me. Im the clown. There’s better guys out there who can treat me so much better but i dont want them. How? Lol. Honestly im willing to wait till my patience & i lose feelings for him. That’s when i will leave. I have a lot of patience in me generally. I spread myself way too thin for someone who wouldn’t wanna turn my frown upside down.

Ok that’s all for my rant today. Listening to my sad playlist while i type down and take intermittent cries in between cause i know, i should be treated way better than this. After all i go thru, fixing myself over the past few years, learn from my mistakes. I deserve so much better. So much better treatment than to put aside when he doesn’t wanna deal w me.

[olikjournal]

things are weird

this is just gonna be me saying whatever for however long i feel ok typing in the dark and hoping i dont wake my parents. today was a weird day and it didn’t start great, bc i have a cold rn and just ugh i hate being sick and then i went to lunch w my extended family and that was okay, i didn’t rlly wanna go either way but it was fine, i just ate and rewatched black friday and talked to my aunt a bit, the food was good. but then i just got angry and frustrated and wouldve gotten into a fight w my mom if we weren’t in public over stupid things like that they wanted to stop at a fucking open house for like 20 mins before going home and god i was just sick and tired and had hw to do and so i was just pissy and listened to music and didn’t speak until we got home and then went to my room and didn’t do any homework or anything actually productive for hours so great day huh. and ive been getting more sleep lately, but also im just more n more tired and this month i think rlly got me to the edge of burning out or fucking it all up again even tho my grades are actually pretty good again, but god its so hard. my appointment is in 5 days so that great but god i just genuinely cant do homework or projects or anything outside of school and i feel like such a failure and incompetent compared to like basically everyone else and i mean its good that i have more outlets than i used to, like this blog for once, but just either im so tired or theres so much and lately its been easier to just be tired. i cant continue w my class schedule for algebra and chem bc going from algebra to chemistry is so fucking hard on my brain and either i try in algebra bc i Have to pass this semester and then im dead in chem the next period or i dont do shit in algebra again and i actually understand and enjoy chemistry and god i just want to stay home sick tomorrow but i Know my parents wont let me since ive already done it too much  for their liking this year and i just cant stop thinking about how much better everything would be if i didn’t have school, just having to worry about a job and everything else and yea it’d suck but it wouldn’t be school, and like i actually love my school and couldn’t imagine being anywhere else and its not like i hate it but god just homework and anything i have to do outside of class is just impossible it seems and the good productive days have never outweighed the bad stupid lazy ones and god idk im Really Tired rn but i dont want to sleep bc then i have to wake up and do tomorrow and i dont get dreams anymore.

[pizzapizzadickz]

I feel very bad. I know I keep fucking up and saying the wrong thing and I just have to keep hoping one day I won't wind up fucking a social situation so badly I lose my job or something.

I'm so fucking tired. It feels like everything is just a simulation. Like. Everything outside of my little daily routine is fake. There's nothing. Everything looks wrong. I'm so tired.

[realtalk-tj]

i got a c and a d last year and my counselor and teachers have been kind of mean to me and the situation at home isnt any better i feel like a failure and today i was considering suicide i dont really have anyone to talk to about this so im asking you guys im sorry for botehring you guys but honestly theres no point anymore and i just cant do it anymore i want to end it all but im scared that i might end up disabled and that it wont work i just want to free my parents from the burden that i am

Notice: This is something to seek help from a mental health professional from, we are not professionals, just students who care.

Response from Aurora:

First of all, you are not bothering us, and we are glad you are asking for help. You wanna know something? I’ve been in your position before. I couldn’t do well in school no matter how much I tried, my counselor and teachers didn’t seem to care, I had a bunch of family stuff… I KNOW how you feel and you are definitely not alone. Believe it or not, but things really did get better for me. And I promise you, they WILL get better for you too. Your grades won’t matter one day. You WILL have better people in your life that go out of their way to support you, and you also have us :). There’s never not a point, because every time things get bad, they will get better again. You have so many people who care about you. PLEASE talk to us. You can always make a private tumblr and message us privately, or email us at realtalktjhsst@gmail.com. I know you think you’re a burden, but we care about you so much and want nothing but for you to be alright. Please know that your life WILL get better, and that we really truly are here for you and want you to talk to someone. You deserve to be happy, and life shouldn’t be this hard. You deserve to have people be there for you, you deserve to talk to someone, and you always have us to talk to. And remember that it’s totally okay to get bad grades. You’re not the only one, and a bad grade doesn’t make you bad, and it certainly doesn’t make you a failure. You’re allowed to have rough patches, you’re allowed to struggle, you’re allowed to not be perfect, and you’re allowed to do whatever you need to make yourself happy. Please remember that you deserve to live, and that your life WILL get better, and again, please message someone (it can totally be us and we are very much here for you).

Response From Fleur:

Dear young person feeling lost,

You are not a burden, or an inconvenience, you are a person.

If your parents been telling you that you’re a burden or giving you that impression, it’s a lie. You’re a person with potential, worth, hopes, dreams, compassion for other people…etc. The cruel, thoughtless, and coldhearted opinions of the people who consider you or treat you like a burden don’t matter anywhere near as much as your health and well-being does. You matter.

When you choose to have children, you’re supposed to love on them and support them and cherish them and provide for them and respect them…etc. If that’s not happening for you, then I feel for you because you don’t deserve to be disrespected, insulted, bullied, put down, let down…etc. by the people who gave birth to you or by any other adult or child or being. You deserve respect and support and you don’t need to feel sorry for demanding that.

Your post here resonated with all of us that contribute to answering questions on realtalkTJ because mental health struggles and thoughts of suicide are common enough that we’ve all had experiences—either ourselves or watching a loved one or friend struggle with their mental health. We don’t want you to have to suffer in silence, because that’s a heck of a lot for one person to deal with alone.

I’m really glad that you wrote to us or “bothered us” as you put it because I know it can take a lot of bravery to reach out to someone and share stuff like this.

So we’ve decided that if you’re willing to let us support you, we’ll do the following:

-Talk to you through the private messaging function on tumblr

-Giv you some of our phone numbers so that you can text/call us if you’re comfortable with that because the messaging function on tumblr is frankly, pretty awful

-Arrange for one of us to go with you to counseling services at TJ

I want you to know that there is a crap load of support out there for you. You do not and will not feel this way forever. Psychological states of mind don’t last for the rest of your life. what you’re up against is something you can get past. You can be free from your parents, your teachers can be talked to about being kinder to you or you being moved to a different class can occur, you can find mental health support so that you don’t feel like there’s no escape from your struggles.

If you’re feeling sucidal, you can also do the following if your parents are reluctant to get you support for your mental wellbeing (which can and will get better, I’ve seen people overcome feeling suicidal and get to a place where they can enjoy life again hundreds of times):

-Go talk to Ms. Armstrong, or Mr. Burke. The other people I’d list who I think would help you are: Mr. Scholla, and Ms. Muir. They’re good trusted adults that have been supportive of students before. Really, if you were to go up to any teacher at TJ and tell them your situation, they’d probably help connect you with supportive adults in student services.

-You can always go to the ER and go up to the front desk and tell them that you’re suicidal (they’ll hold you for a couple of days, have you see a psychiatrist, talk to you about what’s going on, help you find resources to check up on you, and maybe send you to a local mental health facility for a week or two where you can get connected to mental health resources)

-If you can’t get to the ER, you can always call 911 and say that you’re suicidal and ask for EMS to come help you

If your parents are willing to help you with your mental health, these are the resources I’d recommend:

-Go talk to Ms. Armstrong or any of the other adults mentioned at TJ tomorrow or next week or whenever you get a chance to.

-Schedule an appointment with a therapist or psychiatrist for further down the road.

-Call Children’s Regional Crisis Response Team (available 24/7 for ages 17 and under. You can call to start the program any time and they’re amazing, they’ll come to your house over a 45 day period for FREE and talk to you daily and give you therapy and if you want to see a psychiatrist they’ll find one too).

-Go to the Merrifield Center to be evaluated for emergency mental health help (located in Fairfax Virginia, they will talk to you alone without parents present at some point so that you don’t feel pressure to have to lie in front of your parents).

-INOVA keller center partial hospitalization program is really good

-Johns Hopkins child and adolescent psychiatric unit is pretty good

-There’s also north springs behavioral health center and dominion hospital locally.

You can always anonymously call the national suicide prevention lifeline: 1-800-273-8255. they’re understanding and nice people and you can talk to them about anything really and tell them about what’s been overwhelming you and making you feel so down. They can talk to you about what you can do to deal with the situations you’re dealing with, or you can just vent to them.

I know it might seem extreme to some people to seek medical help for suicidal thoughts, but I want you to know it’s a serious thing deserving prompt medical care and it’s considered a type of mental health emergency.

You deserve help and support. You’re worthy of it. Just as much as any one of your friends and favorite people are.

Don’t give up on yourself, and if you let us, we’ll find people who won’t give up on you and will keep hoping for you when you find it hard to have hope for yourself. Please reach out and keep reaching out, don’t stop no matter what, even when you come across people that aren’t the kindest, keep reaching out, don’t give up on things getting better because that resilience to keep putting one foot in front of the other is what will help improve your life and mental health and wellbeing.

Take good care of yourself

[captainalwayslazycollectort-blog]

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

"Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

BEST ANSWER:  Try this site where you can compare quotes: : http://howmuchisinsurance.xyz/index.html?src=tumblr 

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Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

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Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

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An old catalina convertible to be exact. She is very responsible, however, do you think it is too dangerous of a car? Also, how much would insurance be on a classic car with a student driver?""

""Hi fellow seniors, do you have household insurance?

With so many thefts of late and now mass flooding in and around the UK I hear so many cases of people being out of pocket as they're uninsured. Thankfully hubby and I can just about afford to pay it and so far so good we haven't needed to make any claims. With insurance costs at a premium I wonder just how many of you can afford it?

1.4 engine and 1.6 engine whats the difference in insurance?

My husband has passed his test and is looking for a car is the insurance more on the different size engines he wants a 1.6

Can a 17 yr old get there own dental insurance?

Can a 17 yr old get there own dental insurance?

Will insurance pay for an insured car that's borrowed and driven by an uninsured driver?

well, it's a brand new car that belong to my father, i borrowed it and got in an accident because i slip off the road, the car is totaled and im really worried about the coverage. my dad has Infinity-insurance, so yes the car is insured however i do not have any kind of auto-insurance at all nor am i listed in my father's policy. will my father's insurance pays for the car?( if possible, please answer it base on Infinity-insurance)""

""Insurance for a 16 year old male, owning my own car, please help(ontario)?""

Im 16, male, in ontario, single, no other drivers in my family. I plan to own my own car, i know alot of you will say; depends on model or year of the car idk the answer to that because i dont have the car yet... but i do know it will be between the years 2001 and 2004 roughly, it will probably end up being a chevy, toyota, honda (just the average company) can anyone please give me a rough estimate what i will have to pay either per year or month doesnt matter thanks :)""

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

Affordable car insurance for poor driving record?

About a year ago when I was in college I got cited for driving without insurance twice. Two years ago I have had my license suspended for minor traffic offenses. Recently, I decided to take a safe driver's course because when I originally started driving nobody ever taught me how. I am not required to have sr-22 insurance but I am wondering if that would be better than paying $450 which I am paying for Gieco. I am looking for someone in a SIMILAR situation or has USEFUL answers. If your answer is move to different state , you just have to deal with it , or shop around that doesn't help me.""

Question on insurance for a new driver!! (california)?

im sixteen and i just got my license, one of my friends parents told me that i could drive thirty days without insurance, untill they get it fixed. I just wanted to know if thats true or not! i need a quick answer please!!!! ohh and i live in california""

Free car insurance quotes?

are these qoutes accurate or could the price they give you actually be lower then what the free quote says?

How come I can't medical or insurance ???!?

Hello I'm a 20 year old and I live on my own. I use to have medical Owen I was under 18 && lived with. Y moon but now I'm 20&& live on my own. I tried applying for medical and I got denied because I make like 100 more than the limit. Where can I can I apply for a low healthy plan . I do live on my own and have bills to may. It I wanna be healthy. Someone please help no d mb answes (you don't look cool) I live in California San Diego.

Average PLPD insurance for car?

Im wanting to buy a 1989 Toyota Supra and im wondering how much PLPD would be on it.

DMV paying ticket/showing proof of insurance?

I'm In California I received a traffic ticket and did not have my proof of insurance with me. I received my courtesy notice and my amount owed Would be 1000 without my insurance proof. It will obviously be reduced significantly if I show my proof of insurance. I know that you can pay traffic tickets at the DMV. And I want to pay the ticket In payments. So here comes my question- can I go to the DMV and show THEM (the Court Clerk stationed there) my correction (proof of insurance) instead of having to go all the way to the court house? And can I ask for a payment plan there as well? Or can I ONLY show my Correction(Proof of Insurance) and ask for a payment plan at the court house? My first ticket :| And the court house is pretty far from where I live. DMV is right around the corner. That's why I ask :P Thanks

Where can I find affordable health insurance for me and my self employed husband?

For just me and him we pay $927 a month! He has no medical conditions. I take 3 medications for depression and anxiety, but its been a lifelong thing, and I require not psychiatrist or anything , like that, just the meds from my family doctor to keep my chemicals level. Can we get assistance, or is there special help for the self employed? I'm 35 and he is 40.""

Will full coverage car insurance cover a blown head gasket?

It still has enough oil in it (between E and F on the dip stick), I can just tell this is what it is because Oil is leaking down the driver side gasket and I'm noticing my coolant level beginning to drop. I just want to do something about it now before I keep driving it and completely blow the engine.""

Accident and Insurance questions. In California.?

So I got in an accident a couple of weeks ago. The other driver refused to show me her insurance. I was found 100% liable for the accident because the other driver lied about the accident . Now I'm getting phone calls from the other drivers insurance telling me that they are investigating their client because they think she got the insurance a few hours after the accident. What does this mean for me? I provided some pictures to the investigation team because they wanted the exact time of the accident. If the driver is found guilty what will happen. Will I still be liable? Also should I let my insurance know about this investigation.

""Car Insurance, young male?""

I'm 18, i applied for a 6000+ loan and was approved, I didn't even need a cosigner because my income is very good. Its too bad the insurance company's just DESTROY ME when I find a car I like. I dont wanna drive a damn beater, I dont care how much it will save me. I am currently insured under state farm, they told me insurance for a mitsubishi diamante vr-x would be about 2800 a year.... My family has been with state farm since my grandpa, we have insured over 30 cars in our familys, and this is just the terrible quote they give me!? Its despicable, I refuse to insure with them. What are some good insurance companys that will cost less? I already checked e-surance and the price was better by far.""

What amount would you consider affordable for health insurance and how did you arrive at this figure?

What amount would you consider affordable for health insurance and how did you arrive at this figure?

Whats the cheapest way to get car insurance for a 17 year old male?

im a 17 year old boy learning to drive whats teh best car for me to get and cheapest way to insure it cheapest companies best cars for my age to insure thanks

What companies can insure a Ferrari or Lamborghini?

Progressive, Geico, eSurance, all the crap didn't even list Ferrari, as its a specialty car. So who the hell DOES insure a ferrari? and how much does it cost annually? its a ferrari 360 modena convertible""

FIRST CAR INSURANCE in London UK?

I am 18 years old will be 19 this month I want to by a car i have 1500 saved for it and now need to save for insurance road tax etc. my main worry is the insurance ive recieved quotes of 3500 i can not afford this I WOULD ONLY LIKE TO HEAR FROM PEOPLE WHO HAVE BEEN IN THIS SITUATION CAN YOU PLEASE LET ME KNOW WHAT QUOTES YOU RECIEVED OR HOW MUCH YOU ARE PAYING

Insurance for my baby?

I am researching insurance options for my baby. The baby will be born in few months. I know that the baby will be insured 30 days after he is born. This is my question. Should I find an individual plan for the baby or should I add the baby to my insurance? I did not even know one can add the baby to an existing insurance. I am just trying to find the best deal. If I have to have an individual plan for the baby, I am looking only for Blue Cross or Blue Shield of California (PPO only). If you have any suggestions, please share. Thank you""

How much is car insurance for a 16 year old in CA?

anybody know?

Does anyone know any cheap insurance companies for me.?

i got my boyfriend a street bike and its under my name so the insurance has to be under my name to.

CAR INSURANCE FOR A 16 YEAR OLD?

would it be more expensive for car insurance for a brand new car or a used car.

Insurance cost for 2.3l fox body mustang 16 year old?

I am 16 and considering purchasing a 2.3l four cylinder mustang. These were made from the mid 80's to early 90's. They have like no power but get good mpg. I am worried that insurance companies would see the word mustang and give me a high rate. BTW my sister is 17 and pays only 50 a month on a family plan for a 1995 suzuki sidekick.

How much would some general liability insurance cost for a start-up salsa company?

My wife and I are starting a small salsa company selling it at the farmers' market and hopefully some local grocers. We would have no employees and sales will be well below $50K for our first few years. How much would some general liability insurance cost for a this start-up? We are in Lancaster County PA if the area matters. Rough estimates would gladly be accepted!

Cost of ticket for driving without insurance?

im 16 and i need to get to work tomorow...my stepmom has to work so the only way to get to work is taking my dad's 2007 toyota tundra. if i get pulled over about how much will the ticket cost? i have my liscense just not insurance. i also live in texas

Does this sound like a Fair price for Obamacare insurance in California?

Monthly Premium $321 Deductible $2000 Co-pay $45 Specialty care Copay $65 Generic Med $25 Max out of Pocket $6400 FYI my brother has his own general practice, he said on average he charges people without insurance abot $60-70 for an office visit (cash,check,credit card or invoice)""

""Affordable braces (Columbus, OH)?""

I'm wondering if anyone knows of any Orthodontists that will do braces within an affordable price range around Columbus, Ohio. I'm willing to travel out of city, not so much out of state. I have two kids that are in desperate need of braces, but I can't afford to get both of them done with the prices that most orthodontists have been giving me. One of my girlfriends told me that she got her son's braces done for about $1700, which AMAZED me. Unfortunately, that office is now closed. Does anyone know where I can get braces done without going out of the price range of about $3000 each? I'm willing to go higher, but with this economy, not much higher. Also, I do already have dental insurance.""

How much would insurance on a v6 01-06 mustang be for a 16 year old boy?

i know MPG isnt that good but id have a good job. I make straight A's and i know that counts as something and then id be taking drivers ed.

Is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22?

In Tennessee, is minimum coverage car insurance the same as an SR22? I already have minimum coverage but am now required to get an SR22. Is this something that needs to be added on or will minimum coverage suffice? Thanks.""

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

Raysal West Virginia Cheap car insurance quotes zip 24879

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/can-you-get-auto-insurance-17-tyler-palmer/"

[helensilvialin-blog]

Meshal

His name is Meshal, i knew him from my ex bf, ammar. He is a bestfriend for Ammar, even more they look like a brother. Actually Ammar so arabian and Meshal is half indonesian and half australian. Sometimes i remember him, sometimes no. i remember him once im in broken heart situation. Am i look a bad girl ? yes, i am. But believe me, im not that bad. Meshal is my ex bf also, lol yup, after im in relationship with ammar then im in relationship with meshal. Why its happened ? bc, thats all my fault. They’re too pretty to wasted.

So, actually Meshal already knew that i’m with Ammar, ah but you know every boys are same, Meshal talk a sweetest sentence to me, then im melted. I remember that moment, i felt like im in movie drama. I swear to god it’s real, so Ammar has known my relationship with meshal. Ammar angry too much with me also to Meshal, of course i feel so bad with myself, he loves me but im betrayed him. Meshal disappear for a moment, then he called me, he tried to fix it.

In that time, im not cry but i feel so bad to Ammar. I tried to call Ammar, he doesnt response me.Then i saw Meshal’s charger in my bag, argh i wanna disappear from them.

I got a phone call from Meshal.

“where are you ?”, Meshal his dangerous voice.

“home”

“I need my charger back. is it possible for us to meet ?”

“Sure, but only a moment”

“which place ?”

“SMS”

“It’s impossible, that’s too far. How about central park ?”,

“it’s noon already, im a girl” but i remember, i have appointment to meet my bestfriend ester in Kuningan. “I need to meet ester this evening, and her place is across your apartment. So meet me in front your apartment. 4 PM dont be late!”

Meshal coming in front of my eyes, his shirt, his brown eyes, his bright hair. i always loves his bad style. and of course his perfume.

He held my hands directly without talking any words to me.

“it’s hurt. just let me go”

he keep walking with his tight hand on my hand and ignore my voice.

“Meshal!”,

Suddenly he stopped himself, then my imagination told me that he will kill me.

“Believe me, i wont hurt you. Please follow me”

huh ? he bring me to seven eleven ? then my eyes towards to Arabian man, Ammar ??? what’s happening, they try to kill me ? or ?

Meshal take a chair for me, “please have a sit”, then they shake their hands each other.

“Sorry, dude. we’re late”, meshal punch ammar’s arm.

“it’s ok, dude”, ammar smiling so hard. “hey, helen how are you ?”

“fine, thanks”

So, three of us sitting on the same table. I never thinking that this moment will be happened. I know deep down inside Ammar really wanna kill me.

“Btw, first of all. I’m really sorry dude, for what happened between three of us”, Meshal talk to Ammar softly.

“It’s ok, it would be never happened if the girl has a brain”, Ammar’s eyes glanced me.

“Im sorry. really”, i need to make my head down. 

Then  Ammar exploded with his anger. I see his right hand will hit my face. Meshal who sit in the middle try to hold Ammar. 

Meshal angry to Ammar, his eyes widened. “Hey, easy man! how bad she is, she still yours and mine”,

I will cry a lot but this seven eleven is too crowded.

“I’m really apologized, Ammar. I didn’t meant it, you have to listen on me first before you angry to me”, I breathed out. “I do know, what i did is wrong. but you should know why. You’re so rude to me, you’re so protective to me, I dont mind if you’re protective but please don’t included your anger. I’m just a girl who need a friend, bestfriend, boyfriend, i’m not your slave, even you treat me like a quin. And i got it all from Meshal. Im sorry”,

I see fire on Ammar’s eyes. OMG! he standing right next to me. His finger pointed at me.

“Ammar, enough! could you please to calm down ?”, Meshal also standing. “Sit, bro”.

they’re sit.

“Ok, helen. This is your time to decided”, Meshal continue it.

“Decided ? decided what ?”

“Choose between me or Ammar ?”

Impossible I choose Ammar, he angry so much with me.

“Please decided it”, Ammar said with his tired face.

Without thinking too much, “I don’t want to choose between both of you. You guys are brother, i’m not gonna broke it”,

Meshal hold my hand, “don’t lying to yourself. I know you’re a kind girl. You just confused. And we loves you. If you loves someone between us, please choose one of us. We’re a man, so we will accept all your decision”

“Honestly, i liked Meshal since the first time we met. But it’s not love, i like meshal because he is humble boy, and cheer me up”, i see Ammar so angry and Meshal little bit smile. “But now, i decided to not choose between you guys. It will hurt you, however i already with Ammar for months. I’m really sorry Ammar”

“it’s ok helen, you can choose Meshal if you want. I would never angry to you. hope best for you”, ammar said.

“So ?”

“Ok, i choose Meshal”, i dont have brain. I know ammar angry to me, and impossible for him wanted to choose by me.

So, after that moment i never meet Ammar again until now. Even now, Ammar and Meshal are figthing.

I missed Meshal, i missing Meshal so much. he always be there for me, how many time we broke, but he always found me. His eyes, his jokes, i’m sorry for always hurt you. Hope you will find me again just like before.

[disneysnuff]

cherry bones

i met a guy to play louie at cloud 9 he’s got a curly mullet and is balding.. his so beautiful. this part that i wrote, based on the way my friend chio acts when he’s 8 pills into a night screaming zoopity woo and wobbling around like a praying mantis... i love my life. i got a tattoo, dedicated to my sister, i was tryna hide it for like 15 minutes then my sisters like ‘mum jarryds got a tattoo hit him’ hahaha. ive been setting goals and am on the brink of some major money if my up start takes off... im gonna get a little corrolla fuckin 80′s like 95 square looking motherfucks. i still want my benz and feel like joplin.. but maybe next year. i like these little white or silver hatchbacks i full love em and there like 2k put some venetians in it and race around at 60km in a 70 bumpin the strokes and usher and shit.  i sold four pills at a rave once. i dont want to drink goop no more so i wont be as lit as previous meetings. i go back to uni, feb 7th or 12th.. im making a documentary that will be featured in the film.. im still searching for a title for the entire film i feel like calling it blue chairs is to vague but perfect for a chapter/part. i love colour. the documentary is LSD:Lets stop doing. some people thought it was pretty funny... i want it to be as serious but as stupid as that part in harold and kumar one where there high as giraffe pussy watching tv and the dude smokes a joint on the ad then blows his head off.. mines going to be real stories of bad acid trips reanctments like those crime shows. death murder sex drugs rock n roll. im starting a little tshirt company McBain 83rd co. me and my boy croppas made up some designs in photoshop, there fuckin ill. like even if i have twenty left over i dont care ill just wear the same tee for 9 years. my boy blake and i, mostly me, planned out a buisness module and i’ll be making more money then flipping pills at a disco so it’s quite a time to be an artist... 2017 feels like this make or make year like nothings gone wrong, i hope it stays this way. “wanna see me turn into a super saiyan” i wanna shave my hair on the sides skin bald but theres alot of hair even at zero. i walk everyday and do a hundred situps and pushups sometimes.. losing weight sucks i hate medication even at 5mg, i got so beautiful for a couple of months there but every thing was moving to fast, i was stuck in an alternate timeline after drinking a bottle of 2007 merlot that my dad had before we made him leave... i want to be a wine conoseiur or whatever it is. something to collect and it pays off. red. i couldnt even buy a 2007 from liquorland, i dont know much but im putting my best conoseiurness out there.. 2007 great year for wine. i lost it in the bathtub just laughing listening to trex. i dont want to make you feel weird. my psychiatrist was such a babe, she left the service two weeks ago was my last appointment with her and we talked about the alternate timeline.. its a real stupid story but for some reason i fell into this state of mind were i thought world war 2 and the genocide that was implented during was my fault... fucking weird like i was talking to hitler in my thoughts and half awake dream. i guess youd know what thats like, everyones schizophrenic in their dreams, but hitler was showing me visuals of hitler toys and then of space and the world and then boom nazi flag popped into my head, idn i have this feeling voices messages like that interstellar movie can get lost in time with this sueperfluis ‘mental illness’ well my beliefs at the time... its not even frightening i found it fun. my psychiatrist refered to them as frightening and i dont have the paranoia which is good. 2 more months and then i go to tribunal hearing again and ill get off im to smart not to, last time i floored them with my vocabulary refering to it as the most contentious social issue and there system as a revolving door. i feel like its weak to be depressed and ive never been depressed, wouldnt mind to try it though. when i get off this cto and this run of olanzapine 20mg but i only take 5mg i crush it and eat a quarter to keep my weight down, im like 67 on a good day, my goal was 60 but now its 58. i saw a girl on the back of an old mans motorcycle she had the tiniest docs on and a helmet i couldnt see her face but she had the most undesribable positive energy. olanzapine is the best medication ive been on besides the weight gain. its all so calm.. to calm. i miss the uprising moments of disorganised passionate thought although being collected and chill is nice too even though chillers are boring and have nothing exciting to say 11 months of the year. i hope my tshirts sell. mums yelling ‘i wont have any part of it’ ‘dont go to uni, get a job’ but im on my journey and i feel like its the right time.. i need to make a feature film before 25 to be on par with orson welle’s life. ive written three films now, two are secret in my little black books.. ones a vietnam war film the other a world war two film. the world war 2 one will be when and if I have a bigger budget, just got this really cool scene written for it which was inspired by full metal jacket and god of war 3, so theres this massive hole in the ground and 40 or so a whole village (haha hole) is marched out there and shot one by one screaming there last words i want it to be in yiddish jewish and german and slow motion in my head its likea symphony of death truly disgusting and yiddish is such a bakcwords double edged language like the word “uglee’ means ‘of god,, and my fourth film im going to make is a biopic about my father and his father called ‘the pyjama gang’ about jockeys duromine and australian crime mostly based on my father arthur’s true story, its a little self indulgent although i feel like thats a directors voice, it will even have my father and mothers ill-fated love story and my childhood. im not eager to travel untill im making movies because the idea of a country to me can inspire a whole film so im going to wait untill my art is ready before i travel. i do want to go to one country this year, japan or new zealand.. i love my life. ive been training like patrick bateman when i feel like it, tomorrow im going to watch texas chainsaw massacre 1974 and work out throughout the whole thing. my friend asked me who do you identify as?.. i said ‘nigga dick’

[baekuras]

I wanted a snow storm the whole week and the ONE DAY I dont need one at all where it hinders me completely to the point that I might miss an exam, be unexcused and then get expelled THE DAMN STORM WILL HAPPEN AND BUSSES MIGHT NOT DRIVE OR DRIVE LATE i was frustrated so damn often oday you wouldnt believe it i got angry so often and i am still holding up and its really hard and i really wanna be ina  good mood but i also wanna kill since idk when but the days through and thats not helping my mood and WHY NOW THE STORM COME ON I CAN DEAL W/ STUPID SCHOOL DISCUSSION BS ABOUT STUPID SHIT AND I CAN DEAL W/ ASSHOLE TEACHERS STAYING ASSSHOLES AND NOT HAVING ENOUGH RESPECT TO ANSWER ONE FUCKING QUESTION BUT JUST TELL ME HOW BAD I AM INSTEAD AND THEN LEAVING OKAY I CAN DO THAT I AM USED TO THIS CRAP BUT THIS ONE DAMN EXAM? its just an oral exam like srsly we have to be there for 1 lesson only(apparently it wasnt enough i got the very first appointment noooo snowstorm has to be there too and streets wont be cleared when i need to drive)

BUT ANYWAY LETS HOPE IT ISNT THAT BAD or ppl work before fucking 7 and have the streets no one uses cleared too

i am minutes away from just smashing smth i am just smiling rn i even fucking laughed my ass off when i got really pissed because our heater is still not fixed completely and snow will be everywhere the next days so it will  be really cold but hey its fine :’) totally fine:’) fiiiiiiine :’)

anyway someone got a flamethrower? bet that will help clear streets tomorrow