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penvisions · 6 months

Text

by the grit of sandpaper {chapter 2}

Pairing: Jackson! Joel Miller x Patrol Partner! Reader

Chapter Summary: It goes without saying that your first overnight patrol in years happens to be with Joel Miller. But the conversation doesn't flow easily like it normally does, with your haywire emotions and his unintentional eavesdropping...

Word Count: 7.5k

Warnings: canon typical violence, canon typical language, illusions to past death, illusions to past trauma, blood, hurtful language, town gossip, rumors, negative feelings, pining, unrequited feelings, joel a little daft in this, reader is a little daft in this, heart of gold joel, carpenter joel, woodworking joel, artisan joel, patrol partnership, mild injuries, reader snaps at joel, lots of feelings, slight angst, hurt and comfort, joel miller's hands need their own warning, jealousy, three (3) instances of joel miller gently touching reader, intentional flirting, unintentional flirting, casual intimacy, urges to kiss joel miller get their own warning, protective joel, minor injuries, fluff, this is so unbelievably soft, reader is described as smaller than joel (bc c'mon), reader has a commonly used nickname but no assigned name, joel and reader pov

A/N: i just really got caught up in these two after work yesterday. i hope this chapter reads as well as the first one, i'm super nervous bc i want to keep it soft, but i did say there was slight angst in this! love y'all ♡

ao3 link || series masterlist || main masterlist || ko-fi

You were minding your own business walking back from the mess hall when you caught wind of the conversation.

It was a hushed thing, between two people right outside of the turn for the main street. Two women standing close to each other. You had been passing them by when your ears caught your nickname. And then your real one.

“Olive? What kind of grown woman willingly goes by such a silly nickname.” One quiet voice uttered.

“Tommy Miller gave it to her, on account of the trees in her backyard. Surprised she even knows what to do with them.” Another one, both of them faintly familiar. While Jackson was small, only a few hundred people, it was easy to recognize them. They were the ones you often heard while helping out with the gardens, offering trade with the owners as you all shared the spoils of your own personal ones tended to in backyards.

You knew you were intent on pulling your own weight to support and protect the town. Having been grateful for stumbling across the safe haven it provided all those years ago now. Partaking in the patrol rotation and helping out with anything around the town. You had made a life here, one that you had always wanted to try and salvage from the wreckage of the world.

But that didn’t stop people from being people. Rumors and gossip spreading as quickly as the virus that forced the world into small communities like this one. You just happened to be the star in the most recent bout, it seems.

“Yeah, but she does bring them to the markets and trade, so she’s not all that daft.”

“She’s going on the overnight patrol. With Joel Miller.” A whispered reveal, as if it was a death sentence, something that couldn’t be spoken at a regular volume lest it manifest into something.

“Hopefully she doesn’t get-“

“He’s so much more capable, they already saddle him with her for two of his mornings shifts.”

“And now they’re putting her with him for one of the most important ones, what are they thinking.”

“She’s a dear, truly, but she’s going to lose it. Just like she did all those years ago.”

“If she’s the only one that comes back…”

“Marsha, hush, you can’t speak that way. He’s capable enough for the both of them.”

Oh, they weren’t just talking about mundane stuff. They were talking about that. Your chest tightened as you realized they didn’t have any faith in your skills, in the risks you took every time you went beyond the gates to ensure their safety.

Turning back the way you came, not able to face walking past the two women huddled close together and talking so casually about the things that kept you up at night and made sleep hard to come by. You walked straight into a broad chest smelling far too familiar. Smelling like Joel. A grunt that sounded way too baritone and way too close sprung into the evening air at the contact much like your wheezing gasp.

“Woah there, sweetheart, where’s the fire?” Large hands skimmed over your back, arms encasing you, and making you feel a little light-headed, righting your balance as you began to waver from the sudden contact. Oh no, not that honeyed drawl, not that voice, not that tender nickname, not him, not now.

Your composure was already slipping, and you didn’t think you could hold on to what little you had left if he were to ask you if you were alright. The need, the want to answer his questions always winning out.

But you couldn’t, not this time.

“I-I’m fine, just forgot- something.”

“Hey.” And you stopped trying to step back. His hands came up from around your arms where he had grabbed you, cradling your face and tilting you to look at him. His features were softened, the wrinkles beside his eyes and in his forehead creased as he looked you over, making sure you were okay. But you weren’t and you didn’t want him to know. Spurred on by the sound of two voices that had caused all this rounding onto the street, you ignored the fluttering of your heart, the way your breath had caught in your throat, the way he had been touching you and fled.

“See you to-tomorrow!” You managed to squeak out as you stepped away from him, avoiding looking at him directly, his arms falling back to his sides. You weren’t sure if he was trying to catch your eyes, not raising them past his chest as you walked around him. His gaze was heavy on you, following you as you took off down the street in a roundabout way to get back to the streets lined with houses.

“Tommy, please.” Your voice was small, an imitation of what it normally sounded like, and Joel stopped in his tracks. He had a bag of things for Maria, for his brother that he had wanted to drop off before retiring for the night. He tried to quiet his breathing, standing as still as a statue in the back part of the hallway of their house, your voice carrying in from the open sliding door that led out to the sunroom.

He had just run into you down by the shops, or more accurately you had run into him. Literally. His mind had blanked at the feel of your body against his own, the soft press of you up against his chest, the feel of your warm breath fanning over the skin of his neck. And not for the first time, he thought of how well you would fit into him. How well his body could wrap around yours.

He had noticed that while around town you were hesitant to let anyone so much as clap a hand over your shoulder. Aside from the children, whose hands you gladly held with kind smiles and whose arms you welcomed around your shoulders with laughter. Tommy and Maria being the only ones he had witnessed you embracing in quick hugs.

He was always so careful with you, not allowing for direct contact to linger. It always made his heart thunder in his ears, and he wasn’t sure if you were okay with it, the casual touching. You never shied away from him, from the skimming of his fingers against your own or the more recent indulgences he had given into with the touch of his hand or the touch of his lips to minor injuries. He wasn’t ashamed to admit it delighted him to see the way your lashes fluttered and the feel of your breath hitching. He was a man after all, and he was one who was a fool for the jittery feelings you stirred in him. Even if he worried for them at the same time.

“Olive, you can’t let their words get to you.” His brother’s voice was calm, assuring you of the worries you shared with the man.

“But they’re right, Tommy!” Your voice rose to the highest volume Joel had ever heard and then wavered to nothing. More hiccups and sniffling sounding through the door. A particularly harsh hiccup sounded, startling him as he realized you were crying. Chest tight, Joel couldn’t even picture it. The thought of tears running down your upset face steeled his heart. He clenched his hands tight over the handle of the bag in his grip as he heard the shuffle of movement. He couldn’t see through the glass for the curtain fluttering in the evening breeze.

Joel was turning on his heel as your sniffles grew into sobs, moving as quietly as he could back through the house. He set the bag atop the kitchen counter and closed the front door behind him as gently as he could to not garner your or his brother’s attention. He had already heard more than he had meant to, the sound of your distressed voice beckoning him to you as he felt the need to console you. To make whatever it was better.

He knew you had been acting off earlier, just moments ago. From your wild eyes to the way you had been so distracted, the stutter to your voice.

But you were a private person, indulging him in his silly, earnest questions while out on patrol. But this?

This was something you definitely would not someone overhearing, and he respected that. He knew all too well the things people kept to themselves, things that were never exposed to the light of day, spoke of in front of others. And he didn’t want to betray the trust you seemed to have in him by hiding behind a curtain while you fell apart in front of someone who already knew of your struggles and ghosts.

He only hoped that one day…you would feel safe enough and comfortable enough with him to help you shoulder their weight. Because he knew not every patrol went smoothly, how could they, when the whole point of them was to keep up with any possible threats.

Once back in his own home, he found Ellie fast asleep on the couch with a movie playing on the modest television and a sketchbook dangling from her fingers. He removed his boots and then his coat, catching a whiff of the scent of you on his clothing. Light, slightly floral, sweet. You must’ve been tending to the garden he knew you kept in your yard earlier that day. Or baking something like you were apt to do.

With a sigh, he turned off the movie and closed the sketchbook to set it atop the table in front of the couch before moving into the kitchen. The slice of pie you had given him the other day was somehow still in the container you had fumbled for. Ellie must’ve known it was from you because she hadn’t said anything or tried to steal it. Knowing Joel liked to enjoy the treats you shared with him in the evenings with a cup of coffee.

So, he did, as he sat in his work room and began to sketch out some simple designs. He would fill your whole kitchen with whatever you wanted if it meant he would never have to encounter your tears again.

“They- they said I’m going to get him killed, that I shouldn’t even be on the no-normal patrol rotation.”

“It’s okay, everything’s going to be okay.” Tommy tried to console you, taking in the situation and your words a best he could. But you had rushed through them, explaining in bits and pieces. You were emotionally charged, worked up, and nearly trembling. You thought you had worked through this, at least enough to be okay on the day-to-day front. But those two women, Marsha and her friend, had taken you back to the wave of everything as if it had just happened.

You were scared. Because they were right, you were dangerous. There was the very real possibility that you could cause harm to Joel, and you didn’t even want to begin to entertain thoughts like that. He…he was good and you didn’t want to be the cause of the man’s downfall. A promise to his brother to fill a spot on patrol spiraling into the current situation and it hadn’t even happened yet. It was supposed to, first thing in the morning.

“No, it’s not, Tommy. Everyone in town thinks I’m going to get him killed. That I got Aiden killed.” The name was foreign falling from your lips after not speaking it for so long. It was something you hadn’t been able to do since that patrol so many years ago now. “I ca-can’t stomach the thought of him getting injured because of me, because I’m not good enough to protect him. He does so much more for this town, he’s important. He deserves someone alongside him that will be a help not a hindrance.”

“You listen to me, and you hear me,” Tommy’s voice was firm, wide eyes focused and mouth a thin line as he spoke to you. Soft undercurrents of assurance in his tone. And you knew what he was about to say. It was always the same thing, the same sentiment, reassurance that it hadn’t been your fault. It had just been the circumstances, the world operating as it tended to do now. Unfairly. “Honey, it wasn’t your fault that those people found you. You cover your tracks well, hey, you do, okay?”

“I had been so focused on him, I didn’t, Tommy I didn’t hear them come up on us. Not their horses, not their footsteps, I didn’t even hear the gunshot until he was falling over.” Footsteps on the wooden floor thudding as you pacing back and forth, arms crossed over your chest and shaking your head in the way that you did when the thoughts got too overwhelming.

“But it wasn’t your fault. It was a messy situation, they happen. Hey, honey, they happen even to the best of us.” Tommy reached for you, standing from the chair he had taken beside you when you arrived in a flurry. Ushering you to the sun room at the back of the first floor, furthest away from the main bedroom upstairs. Maria had been in bed all day, not feeling well and had finally found the peace of sleep after an early dinner. His arms were wrapping around you and you allowed him to pull you into his chest, face pressing into his sweater.

“I should’ve been looking! I should have been more aware…”

“Shh, it’s okay, the patrol is going to go okay.” He rested his chin on the crown of your head and felt your hands tangle in the front of his clothing. “Everything is going to be okay.”

“You, ah, you…been okay?” Joel tried to break the uncharacteristically tense silence in an easy move, with a relatively harmless question. He had been up all night, wondering and worrying about this being the first longer route with you. Not that he didn’t trust in your skills and ability, but that he didn’t trust in the secrecy around why you didn’t do the longer routes. Of the things he overheard in his brother’s house just last night. Tommy had claimed that if he was to know, it had to come from you. That it wasn’t the younger man’s story to tell and Joel was trying to respect that.

And if that hadn’t sent alarm bells to rumble low in his mind, then your behavior this morning would’ve.

You hadn’t been at your house when he went to pick you up, the windows dark and the door locked. He had knocked, thinking maybe you had overslept. He had found you at the stables, cursing at the clasps of the saddle that weren’t cooperating with your ministrations to secure them. The way that you jumped when he cleared his throat and greeted you, wide eyes settling on him and body tense as if having expected someone else. Someone you had to protect yourself against, if the hand flying to your holstered gun was any indication.

Definitely concerning.

The sound of twin sets of hooves the only sound for the last fifteen miles or so. You had been content, or as well as could be considering the circumstances, beside him. Wide-brimmed hat drawn low to shadow over most of your face, body on a constant swivel as you took in the new to you surroundings. The landscape covered in autumnal tones. It was beautiful, the warm reds, oranges, and yellows of the changing trees. But it was also deadly, threats hidden within the lush tree line, just over the rolling hills, waiting for the opportune moment to strike.

“Been okay.” Was your short answer, not feeling like you knew how to hold a causal conversation anymore. Not since seeing the man’s craft had cropped up in his brother’s home and the way in which he had denied your part in the idea. That paired with the anxiety of being so far out from the settlement wasn’t sitting well. “You been okay?”

“Yeah, of course. Just busy, you know?”

“You hardly ever take a moment, see you and hear talk of you bouncing around so much. Everyone must really appreciate you willing to help. The skills you have, they mean so much. They allow us a better chance to not just survive, but to live.” You wished he could see it, the way children would stare transfixed as him and Tommy led a team of people through creating things the way that they did. From foundations to frames, tiling roofs and securing windows into place. It meant growth, the ability to rebuild, it meant anticipation of the future beyond just a few days. And he helped to provide that for the settlement with the use of his hands and the skills comprised in his head.

He only hummed in response, as if he was disbelieving of the sentiment behind your words.

And then, of course:

“Is…is there a reason why you don’t do the overnight routes?” It was a cautious one, though you could hear the undertones of concerns that coated his polite curiosity. And undercurrent of worry in his beautiful eyes that had turned amber in the sunlight you caught sight of with a quick glance when he had continued to speak.

But his question was ill timed, everything too raw in you to indulge in it at the moment.

“Joel, that’s none of your business.” You felt the easy smile fade from your face as you turned away from the man. You ignored the inclination to face him, feeling the weight of his eyes watch the way you squared your shoulders. Searching for signs of something you weren’t quite sure of. You were always willing to chat with him, about everyday stuff and the heavier stuff should one of you need to vent or rant. Never talking about it back inside the walls and surrounded by the people you went out to protect. But this?

You couldn’t. It was too much, and you know your voice had turned hard, sharp.

“Shit, I’m sorry- we just, normally you’re okay with my questions. I didn’t mean to overstep a line.”

“Well, you did. Just drop it, okay?”

“I’m sorry, sweetheart, I didn’t-“

“I get it, just, stop please.” Snapping the reigns, you clicked your tongue to get Lowry to pick up the pace of her hooves. Moving ahead, following the path that was slowly coming back to you as the event you tried to block cropped up in your mind piece by piece.

“Okay.”

It was easy, comfortable to be beside him even in uncharted territory and land new to you after so many years. Because despite the rough start to the day, having reached the proverbial fork in the road that would take you farther from Jackson you had been in so long, it was easy to feel like things might just be okay with him mounted on his own horse ahead of you.

Even despite his rather invasive question.

You felt bad for snapping at him, for being too caught up in your own mind to enjoy the time beside him.

He was always so busy around town, but out here on patrol; he was yours.

His attention not being pulled in endless directions of so many who looked to him for help and advice, for his opinion on something or other. He was so willing to take the time and fix, mend, build, repair, anything that people called on him for. He had just been trying to do the same here, now. Ensuring you were okay. Because you knew your behavior wasn’t normal. You had jumped when seeing him this morning in the stables. You hadn’t taken the offered thermos, not wanting the caffeine to make you even more jittery paired with your anxiety and nervousness. And it was silly because you knew he meant well.

He couldn’t have known the question was a landmine.

He couldn’t have known it was the one, seemingly simple question that you were unable to answer him.

He had fallen quiet since you asked him to drop it. And you felt bad. There was tension about him, in his broad shoulders and the grip of his hands on the reigns in front of him. His legs shifting more than normal as the muscles tensed and relaxed in a pattern you couldn’t quite make out. You had bothered him, with your sharp words. And you worried that you had broken some part of what this was.

“Hey, Joel?”

A huff.

“Did you finish all the coffee?”

“No, got your thermos right here.” He patted the bag attached to the saddle. You couldn’t have known he meant that it was truly your thermos. Always nestled between his own and Ellie’s, in the cabinet, in the drying rack next to the sink. Yours, and not just while on patrols.

“May I please have it?” Nerves alight, you chanced a glance. He had to have been lost in his own head, his eyes coming back to the present slowly as he cast them toward you.

“Only because you asked so nicely, sweetheart.” He leaned down to retrieve it, holding it out to you. You were careful not to brush your fingers against his own. Thinking that maybe he hadn’t been too comfortable with the casual touching that seemed to have grown in occurrence, even if he had called on you and pressed his lips to your wounded head. Undeserving of the attention he had deigned to give you, you didn’t want him to think you were doing it on purpose. Trying to impinge on his personal space in such an intimate way.

“You-your from Texas, right?” Of course you were stuttering, nervous to interact with him, to try and bridge the divide you had caused. But you still tried, not wanting to lose the dynamic you two shared, even if you had been in your head. Even if you had no intention of physical contact, you still yearned for the easy conversations you two shared.

“Right.”

“Did you see a big change between the seasons?”

He seemed to deflate, the tension in his body ebbing just as the quick beat of your heart did as he turned to look at you for the first time in hours. Calming, reacting to each other, softening in the wake of what had happened.

The village was just as you remembered, as the horses came up on a hill looking over it. It was small, a collection of long abandoned houses and businesses on the cusp of the national park that once boasted large crowds and endless visitors who came to enjoy the views. The mountains surrounding it were breathtaking, covered in the changes of the season. Looking for all the world a quaint little getaway.

Another hour and you found yourself working silently beside Joel to clear the buildings, searching for anything that could be of use for the town, for its inhabitants.

Another hour and you found yourself stood in the kitchen of a small house, rustling through the cabinets in search of whatever may be hidden within them. With a delighted hum, your fingers wrapped around the soft casing of canvas and you pulled it out from within the depths of the one you had crouched down to inspect. Joel’s jacket hushed as he turned to you at the sound, his eyes watching, ever vigilant and ready to strike sound something be wrong.

But nothing was wrong, you leaned back on your heels as you pulled the object out into the light of your flashlight. It was a canvas pouch, rolled up and secured with leather straps that had seemed to stand the test of time and decay.

“Oh my gosh, Joel!” You looked up at him with a pleased grin, teeth flashing at him as you did so. Giddy with the discovery. You set it down over your thighs and unfastened the straps, rolling out the canvas to reveal beautifully crafted handles nestled into small, slim pockets. His steps were quiet as he moved closer, shining his own flashlight onto the find. With nimble fingers you shut your own off and tucked it into the internal pocket of your dark green jacket, pulling one of the handles carefully from where it rested to reveal a sheathed chef’s knife.

The sheath was a little worse for wear, the plastic cover faded and brittle, but when you removed it, the blade proved to be in pristine condition if a little dull.

“Joel, these knives are so beautiful.” Your words were practically a purr as you checked the others to find them nearly perfect. The whole set. Each blade crafted beautifully with a wavy design of darker metal inlaid into a lighter one, the blunt side fading from dark to light. “These are classic Japanese crafted, perfectly balanced. A bit dull, but with some care and a good sharpening block they would be as good as new.”

“Oh, so you didn’t just dabble in the kitchen then.”

“Hmm?”

“You were a chef, weren’t you?”

“Oh, um, yes. But that doesn’t mean much these days, so I tend to downplay it.” You stood, the pouch rolled back up and secured.

“You let me go on about jarred tomato sauce and cereal.”

“I meant it when I said those were balanced meals, I swear!”

“Uh-huh, sure you did. Entertainin’ me, is what you were doin’.” He was delighting in the friendly banter, no true hurt or dismay in his words if the upturn of his lips on one side was an indication. The smirk allowed for that endearing dimple to appear in the pocket of his right cheek, much like his brother’s.

“Joel, no offense, but hush. Food is food.” You tried to make it seem like you hadn’t meant any harm, because you hadn’t. Food was food, back then and even more so now. It was a way to survive, important and so scarce a necessity these days. The abundance of it within the settlement still something that amazed you. The ingenuity of people to create and cultivate agriculture as a base function of humanity and community.

“I’d bet my left arm you didn’t used to think like that. Back when we had the choice between organic and fresh to mass produced and cheap.”

“Hey! Junk food was important too! You know how many times I had a family sized bag of chips for dinner?”

“No, sweetheart, how many?”

“At least twice a week.” Flicking your hand with two fingers raised up, you couldn’t help the bubble of laughter that sprung up from your chest. Fighting the wide smile threatening to break out on your face at the faux shock he displayed with a hand to his chest and a roll of his eyes.

“Which ones?” His brown eyes glittered in the shine of his flashlight, following your movement toward your bag left atop the couch.

“I was rather fond of sour cream and cheddar.” You could practically taste the tang of the sour cream on your tongue as you made room in your pack for the pouch of knives.

“I was a salt and vinegar man, myself.”

You just pinned him with a teasing look, one eyebrow raised up in question.

“That’s just gross, Joel.”

“And there she is, the food critic I knew you were.”

“Go to sleep, mister judgement. I’ll take the first watch.” You stuck your tongue out at him, waving him away with your hands as you settled on the couch and leaned back into the dusty cushions. His chuckle was the only response as he retreated to the only room in the house, the bed springs creaking as he settled into an equally dusty mattress.

You were already back in the saddle on Lowry and moving when it happened. Joel was adjusting the saddle on his own horse and hadn’t heard the shuffle of the leaves. The tree line was just a few yards away. And a trio of infected had just breached the end of it.

“Joel! On your six!” You shouted, reaching for your shotgun slung over your back. Joel was reaching for his own laid out atop the saddle when the horse whinnied, kicking her front legs out at the infected. He reached for the reigns, quickly trying to console the amped up horse when he was knocked to the ground. Your shot missed, his horse freaking out too much and you worried for Joel on the ground.

Your own horse began to fidget, but you calmed her with soft whispers and a quick pat to her neck.

Rolling away to avoid being trampled on, one of the Infected left caught sight of him at the movement.

You were too busy leaning heavily to the left to get a good aim at the other two as they began to tear into the throat of his horse, cutting off the distressed cries of the creature. Heavy body thudding to the ground, you fired two headshots before searching for Joel. But he was blocked from your view by the downed creature.

Careening your body over the side of your own horse until you were practically hanging from the side of it with your feet secure in the stirrups, you used gravity to aid you in getting a clear view. Your middle burned with the effort as you tried to get vision of the man fighting against the Infected that had him pinned to the ground. When you did, your mouth went dry. The claws of the Infected had managed to rake down one of his cheeks, blood bright. Breathing in, you aimed and fired.

The shrieking of the figure fell silent, and its body went limp.

Grunting, Joel shoved it off of him and scrambled back away from it with a heaving chest. He looked over his shoulder toward you, his eyes nearly black from the adrenaline, his plush lips parted as he tried to get enough air in his lungs. Eyes frantically looking him over, you could see the split in his lip from the distance.

Slinging the shotgun back over your shoulder, you dismounted and rushed to his side. Your hands reached everywhere they could as you tried to sus out any more injuries. The intention to keep them to yourself short lived and fruitless. Joel was just staring at you, no words coming from him, only the sound of his panting breath as he pushed himself up on his arms.

“Are you okay? You didn’t hurt your back when you fell? Kiana didn’t step on you or kick you, did she?”

The questions flowed from you in quick succession, not giving the man a chance to answer any of them as you twisted to take a kerchief from your back pocket and began to dab at his cheek as lightly as you could. He let out a low hiss as the skin throbbed, but he let you do it anyway.

“I’m okay,” He finally croaked, sitting up completely when a few tears spilled from your lash line. One of his hands cradled your face, thumb brushing them away. “It’s okay, sweetheart, you did good.”

Through your tears, you worked at getting the blood cleared from his cheek, moving to focus on his split lip and the drops of blood that had trailed down his chin. He let you, his hand falling from your own face to your shoulder, anchoring him close. When you managed to wipe away what you could you sighed, blinking the tears from your eyes as best you could.

His eyes were so soft when you looked into them, watching. Your breath stalled for the barest of moments as you wondered if he would wear the same open expression right before a kiss. Heat flooded your face as you realized you had dug your other hand into the soft curls at the back of his head to help keep him steady and his eyes dilated at the sound. Your sore body protested as you leaned in impossibly closer, chest brushing against his.

The long travel had magnified the scent of him, cedar and sweat dizzying this close to him and it made you want to bury yourself in his arms. To burrow into him and just stay there, enjoying in the warmth and safety you felt when around him.

His eyes fluttered closed at the gentle press of your lips to the scratch on his cheek, tension leaking out of his own sore muscles at the feel. Nose brushing against his own, you were suddenly overcome with the urge to press your other hand to his chest and press him back to the ground, to straddle his thighs and show him how much he was beginning to mean to you. But that would be far too forward.

Heartbeat tittering, your eyes roved over his face, gauging his reaction to the uncharacteristic display. His face was so handsome, the trimmed scruff dusting his cheeks a mix of silver and gray complimenting the tan of his weathered skin decorated with sparse freckles, a patch vaguely resembling a heart low near his chin. And you fleetingly pressed your lips to it, unable to resist. The muscle in his jaw twitched at the pressure, but he didn’t move otherwise, eyes still closed shut.

Despite the journey from the day before and an overnight stay in an abandoned building, you still smelled faintly of the woody, floral scent. It was stronger due to the tense situation of a few moments ago, lingering in the sweat you had felt bead up along the back of your neck and the small of your back.

He seemed to breathe it in, his inhale catching in his throat when you couldn’t help the temptation of pressing your lips to where his bottom one was split in a chaste kiss, caught up in mingling of your scents and the effect he was having on you being so close.

“There,” You breathed against him, fingers clenching around the curls in your grip, surprised he hadn’t jerked away from the rather inappropriate move. His eyes remained shut, as you leaned back to look over the entirety of his face. You felt a nervous flutter of warmth low in your middle, mirroring the words he had whispered to you in your kitchen just a few days ago. “All better.”

Your body was alight with the feel of his body behind you. His chest bumping into your back on every jaunt of Lowry moving over the terrain. You hadn’t been able to look directly at him, keeping your eyes downcast in embarrassment as you had helped him up from where he had fallen. Your hands small in his as you had done so, but immediately dropping the contact once he had been back up on his feet.

It had been silent for a long pause, no words coming from either of you as he gathered what he could from the saddle of the downed horse and you adjusted your own belongings to make room. Lowry had been rather worked up, deservedly so at seeing her friend and own patrol partner taken out in such a gruesome way. The beginning of the journey back to Jackson started off on foot, you on one side of her and Joel on the other, guiding her back at her own pace.

But somewhere after the first couple of hours, you had begun to drag your feet. The adrenaline of the morning waning and leaving you utterly exhausted. That’s how you found yourself seated in the front of the saddle on your horse, Joel’s firm body behind you. His height, even while seated, allowed for every other breath to rustle the hair atop your head. The wide brimmed hat you donned while on patrol hanging from the front of the saddle so as to not bump him or obstruct his vision.

But he kept his hands to himself, save for when he gripped your hips when the horse tipped your combine gravity on the errant downslope of the route.

“Get some rest,” Joel’s words were a haze as you twisted to wave a parting at him. Safely back within the walls of the settlement and having completed the patrol write up. The loss of a horse something you were sure wouldn’t be overlooked, even in light of how it happened. You could’ve saved her, but had been too slow to find aim. But the only thing on your mind right now was a warm bath to wash away the day and then the comfort of your bed.

“You too, Joel.” You turned back to face forward, feet carrying you slowly even if the desire to be unconscious was a strong pull to pick up the pace toward your home.

“Hey, Olive?” Hesitant, the sound of your nickname was in his voice.

“Yes?” You pivoted once more, taking in the way he was looking at you. Concern in his dark eyes and softening his features. The feel of his lips sparking through you as you lingered on them. But you pushed it down, knowing it was one-sided and would always be so. He didn’t see you like that, couldn’t see you like that with all the attention he got from around town. So many other people to entertain and you were just another.

“You can always talk to me, you know, about anything. I’ll always listen to what you have to say.”

“Yeah,” The denial of you suggesting the cutting board washed over you, deflating you even more so in the late afternoon. “But I wouldn’t want everyone to think we do talk. Seemed pretty keen on hiding it from your brother the other day.”

“That- that wasn’t why I said it was my idea.” His jaw jumped, the muscle clenching and unclenching, his hands mimicking the motion at his sides. A heavy sigh deflated his own chest. “I was…embarrassed because it was the first one I made. It-it wasn’t very good.”

“Joel, everything you make is well done.” You assured even as you turned from him and walked away.

“I’m so glad you came back okay from that long patrol, Joel. We would’ve missed your amazing hands.”

Joel tried his best to tune the woman out, Marsha liked to ramble to him when he called on her to fix things in her house. She was about his age, an appropriate age. Headed the gardens and yearly plantings, helped out in the mess hall, and tried to help Tommy keep up with the holidays in order to make the town feel a little more comforted. But today, her words felt weird. Like a backhanded comment to something he intended to figure out. Because it felt like it was about you rather than just a well-meaning sentiment.

“Excuse me, ma’am?” Joel tried to keep his voice even, tempered. But he could feel tingles of anxiety come to life in his chest.

“Oh, I’m just saying, everyone was rather shocked that you got stuck with Olive for Teton. She hasn’t been on anything other than her two morning routines in, gosh, such a long time n-“ He surged up from where he had been underneath the sink. The steady beading of water from the cracked pipe measuring the tense passage of time as he stood to his full height. The wrench in his hand pressed into his stomach as he placed his hands on his hip and looked directly at the woman who had been hovering over him as he worked. She had been idly peaking potatoes on the counter beside the sink, making sure to stick close to him like she tended to do when he was in her home.

But she had fallen quiet at the direct attention, a flush visible on the tips of her ears and the swell of her cheeks.

“Did you say ‘stuck with Olive’? Because I can assure you, she’s capable enough to not be talked about that way.” His brow furrowed as his lips tugged downward in a frown, unsure where this woman got the gall to sling around talk of you like this. To him, of all people. He wasn’t completely daft, he knew the women around town fawned over him. Both the younger ones like yourself and those closer to his own age and beyond. But he ignored it, because he wasn’t here for that, his heart didn’t soften for just anyone. And the woman in front of him was bad mouthing the one it had without him even realizing.

“I just meant that- since she’s so much younger and doesn’t have as much experience as you-“

“Hold on, lemme stop you right there.” Joel held out a hand, the wrench acting as a barrier between their bodies. “Olive is more than capable of being my partner on patrol. It don’t matter what her experience is compared to my own. And I don’t like the insinuation of her not being anything other than a hardworking person who willingly puts her life on the line for this town.”

“She just- there was an incident a while ago-“

“I don’t care what happened a while ago, she’s good to me now.” Anger flared, tinging his eyes into the deep, dark tone of fresh brewed coffee. His grip around the wrench was pulling the muscles in his hand, causing an ache that was becoming far too familiar a sensation. But he kept his focus on the woman in front of him, the one who had felt like it was okay to talk about you in such a way in his company, to him.

He was always polite, always lending an ear to what the people of the town wanted to say, allowing for easy conversation most of the time, but this was something he wouldn’t allow and the tone of his voice had shifted. It was assertive and left no room for interpretation that he didn’t share the sentiment of the woman in front of him. And then he thought back to the other night before the route in question.

Tommy had been consoling you, telling you to ignore the things people were saying about you, the rumors that had cropped up once your name had been added next to his on the assignment sheet. This woman had apparently been the cause of your tears, the fuel to your already present insecurities flaring and making you close in on yourself. This woman had taken the teasing jokes, sweet laughter, soft smiles, and easy-going conversation typical of time spent with you and stolen it from him. Tainted the air so badly that you had been decidedly not yourself on the last patrol and so wound up that you had snapped at him.

“She’s done nothing to deserve the way you’re speaking about her, and I would like you to apologize.”

“Joel, I- I’m sorry. I didn’t think it would upset you.” Her eyes shifted frantically over his face, realizing that she had offended him with her casual words. “I was saying that-“

“Not to me, to her.” He cut off her words with rough ones of his own. Past the point of caring about being polite and heeding everything the town needed his help with at the moment. All he cared about right now was you, and how you had been singled out as the most recent subject of town gossip. He tried to tamp it and he had gotten fairly good at keeping his frustrations to himself. Ellie being the recipient when she was particularly stubborn and bull headed, but she got that from him too. From traveling with him for as long as it had taken them, their entire journey now allowing for them to explore the softer and kinder parts of themselves within the safety of the settlement.

But right now? Joel felt like he was back outside of them, the need to protect and eradicate any perceived threat strong. Thrumming in him as he felt like what was his was being singled out and targeted.

“But-“

“We clear?”

Marsha squeaked out an affirmative, her hands wringing around each other over her middle. Without a glance toward the open cupboards beneath the sink, Joel gathered his toolbox laid open beside them and his flashlight.

“Need a new pipe, nothing else I can do at the moment. Tommy will be by before nightfall with a replacement.”

He didn’t bid her goodbye as he walked through the front of her house and out the front door. Leaving the shell-shocked woman standing in her kitchen with her heart beating rapidly in her chest at his rather uncharacteristic display of anger.

previous chapter || next chapter

dividers by the lovely @saradika-graphics and @cafekitsune

taglist: @merz-8 @morning-star-joy @joelsgreys @orcasoul @sawymredfox @sabmat @dreamingofleon @keylimebeag @pascalpvnk @picassopedro @tuquoquebrute @alejaa-a @jessthebaker @littlemisspascal @joeloverture @joelscruff @swiftispunk @tightjeansjavi @undercoverpena @idontknowyou-12345 @corazondebeskar @honeyedmiller @novas-dreamworld @slugz-writes-shit @fluff-lover @hiroikegawa @dugiioh @persephone-girl @furiousmushroom @communism-bitches @formulafun @copperhalfcent @lizlil @hiddenbabynyc

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shortpplfedup · 11 months

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Only Friends Character Rankings Episode 12

And that's all she wrote friends! And how she wrote it was...weird? The show definitely pulled some punches at the end there, trying to thread a needle and ending instead in a kind of wishy-washy damp squib. The couples landed up right, but in the wrong way? Guu mai chorp. But these hoes still need their final sorting. Nick led the pack going into the finale, will he end up on top at the end? Only the mains this week in my final rankings, but first...

⭐A1. FUCKIN' MIX!

Then…can I be your friend too?

I'm sorry I can't hear y'all over my screams at the MESS Minx Mix looks set to cause. That man is too pretty to be allowed in public. I WANT IT JOJO, I WANT IT NOW!

🔻🔻🔻Z∞. Boeing (8)

I just happen to want something strong tonight.

In the end, Boeing is just a lonelyboy like all the rest of them, which is fine, but he also just...disappears after the Ray/Mew Voltron vanquishes him and he gets a consolation makeout from Boston, which is not. Anyway, Mond is a good actor, also he's hot and got to kiss a bunch of boys, so winning.

Top tier show sidepieces: Yo, Plug, Summer, Freddie Mercury 2, Sand's Mom, Ray's Dad, Daddy Dan, April, Mew's Moms (barely)

These characters were mostly on the side of the angels, and I thank them for their service.

Bottom bitches: Cheum, Atom, Gap

Yeah they apologised, but fuck em.

Onto our main six!

🔺1. Boston (2)

I'm friendless.

In the end, Boston's at the top of my mains pile, because MY MANS DESERVED BETTER. Not in terms of Nick, I think that actually ended the absolute best way: Boston made his case, Nick made his decision, and they parted more or less as friends (and I loved absolutely every conversation those two had in this episode). No I mean in terms of his shitty friends, especially MEW. Cheum at least apologised, even if perfunctorily, and he apologised for sleeping with Atom (yeah, he really shouldn't have done that). He and Ray let the water wash under their particular bridge, and seem set to be cool. They never really had much in the way of beef to be fair. But Mew...actually you know what, good. Some people you don't need to be friends with, especially people who are gonna judge you and try to make you feel shitty about yourself. The narrative leaves Boston literally alone at the end though, legit the last time we see him is sitting on the curb with tears in his eyes as Nick walks away. Thanks, I hate it. I hope New York is better to Boston, and I hope he continues to learn and grow and tackle those impulse control problems.

🔻2. Nick (1)

You should go back to living a fun and sassy life that you prefer instead of trying to please a daydreaming guy like me.

YOU COULD HAVE ACCEPTED THE GODDAMN PHOTO NICKYBOY. I mean I get why not, but justice for my mans. Anyway, Nick's legit my second fave main here, as he grapples with the in-your-face realities of Boston's separation of love and sex, and decides he can't handle it. And that's good, that he loves Boston enough not to judge him, and loves himself enough not to put himself through something he knows he doesn't want. Every single choice and every conversation these two have had since Nick apologised has been nothing less than stellar, and that's because Nick took accountability and chose honesty. Well done baby boy.

🔺3. Sand (5)

You're right. When I love someone, I become a dog. But at least my owner loves me.

Pathetic to the very end, consistency thy name is Sand. He could have at least thrown his bussy into that threesome, but nooooooo, he got jealous IN TWO DIRECTIONS AT ONCE 🤣. He's fine with both boys slangin the dick his way, but calls a halt when they leave him out? Sir that's when you stand back and admire. Sand's pick-me ass ain't never gonna be my absolute fave, but his self-awareness and humiliation kink work together to be kind of endearing in a guileless sort of way, and at least he's learned to take the money if he's going to accept the ownership. It's sweet in a weird kink way. Also, his and Nick's loser friendship pushes him several points higher up the scale. There's growth and acceptance there, and he's 21 so I'll let him have it.

🔺4. Ray (7)

You still love him so I dragged him here for you. But I wanted to join just a little.

Well when he's not drunk night and day Ray's still a rich asshole, but he's a ton more fun. I love that he knows the kids at community service don't like him🤣. I spot rehab therapy working on him a bit. That threesome set up was WILD, and I personally had a good time with it, but it's probably best that it led to talking rather than fucking. Ray's got a LOOOOOOOOOOOOOONG way to go, but at least he treats Boston like a human being (I AM SO BITTER AND I'M NOT GETTING OVER IT). He's never gonna clock Mew's shittiness (BITTERNESS ACCELERATING) but you win some, you lose some. By the way sir, don't listen to Sand, he absolutely will be your sugar baby if you beg a little.

🔻5. Top (4)

Because I have you, everything is fine.

Top's smugness was the single most genuine thing about him, so I actually quite enjoyed watching him be a smug motherfucker this ep as he gets everything he thinks he wants. You know what I enjoyed more though? Watching his soul leave his body when Minx!Mix walked into the hostel and laser-targeted Mew. Mew putting Top through hell is legit my favourite flavour of their weird little fucked up relationship, and I'm sorry I won't get to see Mew eventually fall for Mix (you KNOW he wants to top somebody, YOU KNOW IT) and Top cry about it while he screws a bellboy in a service closet.

🔹6. Mew (6)

Are you about to say "But you're my last, Mew"? If so, I'm going to go puke in the bathroom.

OK, that line was funny, but jeez what a prig. What a sanctimonious nag. What a judgy little hypocrite. In his own conception he 'won' but Mew's the biggest loser in my heart. No he didn't have to forgive Boston, but come on, he could've kept it cute OR kept it moving full speed instead of the fake nicey nicey only to stick the knife in after. It's good that he walks away from Boston in the end, because with friends like Mew you don't need enemies. He makes Ray worse. And he and Cheum form the feedback loop from hell. Bookie sold the fuck out of this character, I have nothing but praise for him, but Mew is the living worst. I won't mention the character he reminds me most of in all of fiction, but if you're a certain age and you think about it a little, you can probably guess.

#only friends the series #bless this mess #only friends weekly character rankings #i support gay wrongs #only friends #only friends series #bl meta series

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brb-on-a-quest · 4 months

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Tumblr should really let you pin multiple things as a blog introduction. (I wish).

Anyway, hi, hello, (new friend?), I'm Brb/Birb/(real name redacted). I'm an almost graduated student from the general land of cornfields and more cornfields. There's not much around, that's why I'm here, lol. (Also I've met a bunch of cool people, so now I think I'm kind of stuck here - come join us!).

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

If you happen to be a New Person Who Has Found Me (Hello!) and You Want To Talk to Me, I don't bite, I swear. I am a Birb with the heart of a Golden Labrador Retriever. Feel free to Tag Me in any tag games or haunt my inbox. <3 Come say hi! i love friends.

((Art by the amazing @mayamohini jfkfjjfkjgjgjgjfj it’s gorgeous)

(my "character sheet" that is based on my real life attributes--yes, I did roll all of these numbers. I use canva a totally healthy amount sometimes)

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

Anyway, more information y'all should know: This is the main account; I do have a sideblog. I reblog a lot of friend's nonsense, post a lot of my own even more nonsense, kind of have a whole "I want to be a hobbit living my best life somewhere not here vibe" I think. You will also see posts about things I think are wholesome/sweet, writing, psychology, fantasy, whatever fandom I'm in (or a friend's fandom),....just general nonsense I suppose. I do post some amount of life stuff when relevant or whenever I find things funny. Although the pic above is an owl, I am probably more akin to a magpie with much reblogging of things I find "shiny" to add to the chaotic mess that is my tumblr dashboard.

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

@brb-on-a-side-blog is also me! This was created to hopefully separate original writing content from the rest of the reblogging I do so it doesn't get buried in theory. This may not work out in theory as well as in practice, but I promise to reblog the cool writing stuff to my main blog if you don't want to have it clogging up your dash :).

There are other ones but as I am currently not using them it seems futile to put in an intro post.

⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦⚔️🐦

Tags to help sift through to find me in the hoard of posts!

#brb-rambles: Original thoughts about something (or at least as original as I can be).

#brb-(insert part of moots name here): interactions between me and said moot! I'm actually really not great at this but will get better and I forsee mass post editor being a BFF if I do this.

#brb-life: original content relating to my life/thoughts.

#brb-writes: original writing content (this will be potentially moved to sideblog).

#brb-memes (i make memes sometimes).

#brb-library: posts that are either really funny/really struck me so I'm going to save them to print out

#brb-adventures: the hopeful travel tag for some upcoming trips (either the grocery store or New York who knows).

#brb-learning-things: Things I have learned (although it's from my school/classes so questionably but I reason sourced; if it's not, I'll include source link/some kind of citation).

#brb needs a laugh check: I am joking. Please do not take me seriously.

#brb vs the call of the academia: school posting?

#brb-asks/#brb-report:s hopefully new ask tag if I can remember to add them.

#dear north canada love south canada (and associated tags I will not be typing out here) is a fun series I have with @igotthisaccountunderduress (she's absolutely cool, check her out). Again, that won't cover all the posts but again, vibes).

#Also I have AO3 under same blog name: brb_on_a_quest #It's mainly to start organizing my stuff ((cuz i don't want to organize in real life but need feel some sense of control lol).#fair warning; my intro posts/pfp may change a fair amount bc i have tendency to change aspects of my presence like clothes #not the url bc i know that causes too much chaos #brb-rambles #brb-life

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darkurgetrash · 4 months

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Get to Know Me Tag ~

Hiya! I got tagged in a few different 'get to know me' tags so I thought I'd just combine them here, hehe. Thank you so so much to @dutifullylazybread @weaveandwood @orangekittyenergy and @blackstaff-blast — I really love these tags, both answering and reading others'. What can I say? I'm a gemini.

No pressure tags! ~ @lemonsrosesandlavender @savriea @graysparrowao3 @heytheresunflower

Do you make your bed?: Yes! I'm not a neat-freak, but I consider myself quite neat

Favourite number: When I was a young child someone asked me this and I didn't know what to say so I pretended it was '86'. Since then, that's always just been what I've said… couldn't tell you why lol

What's your job?: Between roles atm, but usually a copywriter

If you could go back to school, would you?: For sure. I was really let down as a kid by the system, if I could go back but with the wisdom I have now, I would love to. As for further education, I loved my undergrad but I can't see myself realistically studying more on account of chronic illnesses

Can you parallel park / Can you drive a manual car?: Nope. I was good at parking and driving back when I was first learning over 10 years ago but never took my test because I got a lot of anxiety driving. I live in London now, so there's no urgent need to learn, but I will have to some day.

Do you think aliens are real?: Yes. Ain't no way we're the only life forms to exist in the whole universe, pleaseee

What's your guilty pleasure?: I love Britney Spears 💁‍♀️

Tattoos?: A small one, on my ankle. Two hands in a reference to Twin Peaks. I also just love the design — even if my tattoo artist did a slightly shoddy job and told me they did the exact same reference on tonnes of people ayyy lmao

Favourite type of music?: Easy answer is indie, though even that is a huuuuge umbrella. Some of my fave musicians are Mitski, Bright Eyes, AURORA, Radiohead, EELS, and Thumpasaurus. Also, a long-time MCR fan.

Do you like puzzles?: I'm wayyy too ADHD for them tbh but I don't mind some types of puzzles, like in video games. But even then, they can't go on for too long, lol

Any phobias?: Crowds are def my biggest one. I’m scared of pretty normal things I’d say, like hornets. I do have a lot of sensory issues though that give a similar feeling, the most unusual being cardboard. Do NOT touch it near me, I WILL scream. And slight trypophobia… 🤢

Favourite childhood sport: Always hated sports and exercise, even as a kid

Do you talk to yourself: I sing to myself (and in general) a lot and have big echolalia, but I don't really talk to myself in the traditional sense. Now my partner on the other hand… he does not stop yapping for even a second in the day.

What movie(s) do you adore?: The immediate go-to's in my brain are The Lord of the Rings trilogy, Pride and Prejudice (2005), Your Name, and… Shrek. Non-ironically.

Coffee or tea: Earl grey tea with oat milk, please! If not an option, I'll go for an oat milk mocha.

First thing you wanted to be growing up?: I… okay. I don't even know if I should admit this, but it's kinda funny… but remember, I was a CHILD. like, FIVE. My sister wanted to move to Africa and be a mango farmer (???) and I wanted to go with her so I said I wanted to sell shoes there because I saw a gap in the market. 😭😭

Last song I listened to: No You Girls - Franz Ferdinand

Favourite colour: Lavender

Favourite flavour: Depends on what it is, but most likely either chocolate or strawberry

Current obsession: BG3, if y'all couldn't guess. 😂

Last thing I googled: 'Sacrum'. Girly doesn’t know what body parts are called.

Favourite season: Late autumn

Skill I'd like to learn: I'd looove to be able to sew and make clothes but I am the most cack-handed person you will ever meet. I literally got kicked out of textiles class when I was in school because I was so bad they thought I was messing about on purpose 😬…

Best advice: Be cringe, be free. People will either not care or think you're cool for your authenticity.

Currently watching: I don't really watch TV! Still getting through Dungeon Meshi, lol

Currently reading: I've been trying to read 'Interview with a Vampire' since the start of the year, but my brain only has room for BG3 fanfic it would seem… SO, here's a list of my current bookmarks hehe. Special shout-outs to @lemonsrosesandlavender @crystal-overdrive @ghostcouncil @weaveandwood @sinelaborenihilsr2 @dutifullylazybread @notlikeparis

Relationship status: Been in a relationship since 2016! Also, taken by Gale Dekarios in my head. 💜

Sweet/savoury/spicy: Big, BIG sweet tooth.

#get to know me #get to know me tag #tag #tagged #about me #thank you friends! I love you❤️

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radioactivepeasant · 9 months

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Fic Prompts: Free Day Thursday

Adopted Dadmas universe, set a few weeks after Damas called Samos out for harassing Jak. Keira has started questioning her upbringing for the first time, and is seeing some of her past interactions with Jak in a way she doesn't like. Warnings for past Samos being, well, typical game-characterization-Samos and being nasty to children.

"You're awful quiet," Tess observed. She put down her angle grinder for a moment and observed the younger girl seated at her workbench.

"Hey. You okay, sugar?"

Keira stared off into space for several seconds before remembering to inhale. She turned a guilty face to Tess and said, "I think I'm a bad person."

Tess’s hands stilled on the prototype.

"Oh," she sighed, "this is about y'all's messed-up childhood again, right?"

"He made Daxter sleep outside! He would pretend he couldn't understand Jak until Jak did exactly what he wanted!" Keira burst out, "How could I have ever thought that was normal?!"

Tess’s lips narrowed, and she imagined the bolt she was twisting was the sage's neck. "Well, because people like that work hard to convince kids that their behavior is normal when they're too young to know better. Gives 'em the control they're so desperate for. It wasn't your fault, Kiki."

"But I knew he was being mean!" Keira cried, throwing down her blueprint. "I knew everyone treated Daxter like dirt. I knew they made Jak and Daxter do too many of their chores! But they were so nice to me and I- I- argh!"

She shoved her bench back and paced the room angrily.

"Was I weak? Or just a- a brat!? A spoiled, selfish, mean little brat!"

Tess left the table to grab Keira by the shoulders. "Hey, whoa! Whoa whoa whoa! That's my friend you're talking about, there!"

Keira tried to shove Tess away, but Tess had an uncanny strength that belied her appearance.

"Hey. Look at me, sugar. I get it. Feels like revenge, right? Revenge on yourself? Like "how dare you feel good about yourself when your friends were so badly abused right under your nose". But baby, what does that accomplish, really? No, look at me. How does you calling yourself names help Daxter and Jak now?"

Keira dashed a hand across her eyes and shrugged sullenly. "Maybe it doesn't. Maybe it only helps me."

Tess scowled. "So Samos chooses to hurt those boys again and again and instead of holding him accountable the reasonable thing to do is hurt you? Put yourself down so you can feel as bad as they did? Girl, I love you, but how does that help?"

Keira didn't have an answer.

"I'm...I'm not trying to have a pity party," she finally admitted. "I'm not the victim here. I know I'm not- I'm like, the opposite of the victim. I'm complicit, Tess! How do we come back from that? How do I fix this? I can fix everything else? Why can't I just..."

She made a frustrated groan and let Tess pull her into a tight hug. "I'm so mad, Tess. At Daddy, at myself, at this whole stupid city. And I don't know where to put that anger."

Tess grimaced, but squeezed her friend tight. "Well. That puts you a little closer to understanding how Jak feels a lot, doesn't it?"

"I've been like. The worst friend."

"Doesn't mean you can't start being a better one," Tess countered.

For a few breaths, Keira was silent. It was hard not to give in to the recriminating thoughts. She had been the unwitting accomplice to so much harm, kept sheltered with blinders on as a tool to enforce a sense of normality on a "hero" who should've had the same childhood she did. And then even when free from Samos's influence for two years, she'd found herself gravitating towards people who manipulated her in the exact same way. And she'd taken Errol's side in a fight. The side of the very man who had caused all the traits she'd criticized in Jak. Thinking about it now made her want to vomit. How had she fallen under the sway of such people for so long? And how could she ensure it would never happen again?

"Tess," Keira sniffled, pulling back from the hug, "Can...can I ask a favor?"

"Of course, Kiki," Tess answered warmly, "What's up?"

A feeling of resolve hardened in Keira's chest as she took a deep breath. "You're a spy. You know how to read people like a book. Can...could you maybe teach me? How to tell when people are, are lying, or being manipulative? Stuff like that?"

She looked away. "I want to help the guys. And if I want to do that...I need to help me, too."

Tess’s sympathetic expression stretched into a wide grin. To anyone who knew her well, it would have been an ominous sight.

"Sugar, I thought you'd never ask."

_________________________________________

And meanwhile, the absolute Mood Whiplash of what's happening just outside the city, in the mountains

_________________________________________

"I miss our dog."

"Your dog," Daxter corrected, without bothering to open his eyes.

"That's cold, Dax," Jak whispered, "How can you just disown our boy like that?!"

"Remember when he pooped in my kitchen??" Daxter asked incredulously.

"He's just a baby! He can't help it!" Jak hissed back. He rolled over on his cot to poke at Daxter's hammock. "C'mon. Don't tell me you and Tess aren't gonna have pets when all this is over. You aren't fooling anyone."

Daxter leaned out of the hammock to swat at Jak's hand. "Oy! Decent folks is tryin ta sleep, here! And for your information, we're gonna have a cabbit hutch! And a butterfly garden! And Chopper is not allowed to eat my butterflies!"

"You don't know that he would!"

Jak sat up, about to further argue the merits of the dog he'd left with Tess, when a sound akin to a growl rose from the other side of the tent. Both boys quailed and settled back into their beds.

"Jak started it!" Daxter tattled, then pulled his blankets up to his nose.

"Sorry, Pa." Jak smirked and ducked under his own woven blanket.

Damas flung his arm over his eyes and grunted disapprovingly.

"We're on the move at dawn," he reminded them, "I suggest you use the remaining hours wisely. The clan rendezvous point is a four hour hike, so for the record, depriving your father of sleep is not a wise choice."

The little scoff of laughter he heard on the other side of the tent did not sound particularly like a pair of teenagers about to heed common sense. But as it could just as easily have been Jak still delighting in the novelty of someone deliberately claiming the title of his father, Damas could let it go. For now. If they didn't quiet down, though, they were both going to be walking down the mountain while he rode in the commandeered hellcat.

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justmeinadaze · 2 years

Text

A Toxic Lesson (Kurt X Reader)

A/N: "I introduce to you...this fucking thing." Lol @lunatictardis talked me into it. I was thinking this could be a series with a story surrounding each murder he does but that's if y'all even like this. This is kind of new for me in the sense of we are going outside of Eddie and Steve and also entering an extremely toxic relationship. Lol. God my damaged ass still wants him between my legs.

I was going to post this tomorrow but I never know how my triggers will work on the holidays so :) Here ya go.

Warnings: This does pull from the movie Spree especially the dialogue. The first passenger is a dick. I tried to bypass the worst things he says in the movie but it's still pretty evident. There is a murder and Kurt is aggressive with the reader. He definitely gaslights her. Please tread carefully if you continue reading <3

Word Count: 3105

You had known Kurt since he first moved to Azuza when you two were kids. You introduced yourself to him out on the playground when you saw him swinging my himself.

“Hi! I’m Y/N. Can I sit with you?”

“Sure. I’m Kurt!”

You sit next to him swinging your feet to match his pace. “Have you made any new friends yet?”

“You’re the first person to talk to me today.”

“It’s just cause people don’t know you yet.”

His tiny smile made your heart melt.

As the years went by nothing really felt out of the ordinary with him. Kurt was just an average, outgoing kid. He was always really animated which you loved so when he mentioned starting his own channel you thought it was a great idea. I mean, who wouldn’t love him?

The night he posted his first video to YouTube, he invited you out to celebrate.

“I’m so excited. This is going to be great and I’ll be famous and everyone will know my name!”, Kurt threw his arms up, the drink in his hand spilling a bit making you laugh.

“You deserve it. I’ll be your number one fan.”, you smile up at him.

He’s not sure if it’s the energy of the day, you always supporting him, or just the fact that you looked so beautiful in the outfit you wore out tonight but he abruptly gripped the back of your neck, bring your lips to his.

You coyly grin up at him. “Well, took you long enough!”

For the next 10 years, Kurt really did put a lot of effort into his account. He tried every bit of content that was out there from gaming to reviews. He even hooked up his phone to record people while he was driving around Spreeing. But his channel never broke into the double digits.

Over the last year his personality really began to shift from your sweet, charismatic boyfriend to a genuinely broken man.

“Hey asshole. Your girlfriend is here.” His dad guides you into Kurt’s room.

“Why do you always have to talk to him like that? What are you even doing here?”

“I came to grab my records. He’s fine. He knows I’m fucking with him. Kurt, I’m going to head out. Clean up your room at least, will you? This place is a mess.”

You glare at him as he leaves the room, shutting the door behind him. Kurt hadn’t said a word or even made an indication to address your presence. You crawled into his bed turning yourself into the big spoon as you wrapped your arms around him.

“Baby, are you ok? I’m worried. We haven’t hung out, you barely talk. You haven’t even posted a video in a while to your channel.”

“No one fucking cares about my channel.”

“I do. It makes you happy and you work so hard on it.”

He rolls on to his back and you place your head on his chest as your hand rubs up and down his stomach and sides.

“Exactly. What’s the point of me working hard if no one cares.”

You sighed frustratingly. “Kurt, I care. People care. They just need to see you like I do.”

He gets off the bed, standing up to look down at you. “What people, Y/N? NO ONE CARES! You’re just one person. How can I get a billion eyes to see me and what I have to offer?”

You get up as well, rising so your face to face with him. “I may just be one person. But I’m the one person who has ALWAYS had your back, Kurt. Honestly, you’re making me feel bad right now. Like my support isn’t valid if you’re not famous or something.”

“I am nothing! Nobody! Without a following who I am?!”

“You’re still Kurt! Jesus! Fuck these people.”

“You don’t get it.”, he hangs his head.

“You’re right I don’t. I’m sorry I’m not enough for you.” You stomped out of his room, leaving the house slightly annoyed that he didn’t come after you.

Kurt went MIA for about a month until one day he showed up at your house at 3am, banging on your door.

“Baby! I had this great idea that can make me go viral. I can finally get the recognition I deserve!”

“That’s great, Kurt. Really happy for you.” You start to shut the door but he blocks it with his hand. “Kurt, it’s 3am and frankly I’m still mad at you. You hurt me.”

“I know, Sweetheart. I know. I was just… I was just in a really low place. I didn’t know what I was saying. You’ve always been there for me from the beginning and I love you for that.” He stepped into your doorway, chest to chest with you. When he looked into your eyes, you saw something there but at the time you didn’t know what it was. “I. Love. You.”

His voice came out low and rough, making your knees weak.

“I love you to, baby.”, you sigh out a breathy moan.

When he made love to you that night, it was the best sex either of you had. Well, you two had only been with each other but usually Kurt was gently and kind of shy with his body and your own. That night he took what belonged him and left the love bites on your skin to prove it.

He started uploading videos again and it made you smile because his old personality was starting to show through again. There were moments though when he would post something that gave you pause.

“Kurt, should you be uploading videos like this? How to put poison in water bottles and hide it? I mean even if its fake what if a kid tries this.”

“Honey, its fine. It’s all a part of the lesson.”

“You haven’t told me what exactly that is and now I’m worried if it has fake stuff like this. What if someone takes it seriously and you get arrested or worse?”

He turned around in his gaming chair and leaned forward, tugging you on his lap. “Don’t worry, baby. Trust me. This will be amazing and you’ll be with me.”

“Oh, Kurt. I don’t know. You know how I feel about being on camera.”

“Y/N. This is the most important move of my professional career. I want you there.”

His words came out with sincerity but his tone was stern. Kurt wasn’t asking, he was telling you to be a part of this with him.

You watched him with a small smile as he spoke into the cameras attached to his windows.

“Actually, hold up. Real step one? Get. Your. Rig. To. Gether!”

When he leaned over you to reference the camera on your window, you giggled at him. Kurt kissed your cheek before turning back to the camera in his backseat. You loved seeing this side of him again even if it was just for the cameras. You still missed the days when he was a dork just for you. Kurt got out of the car, talking to the camera through the rear windshield.

“Hey mom!”

You shifted your body to watch him run inside the house. Kurt’s phone dinged and a female robot voice from the app he was recording from started talking.

“Y/N. Why are you still with that loser?”

You make a disgusted face at his phone. “Shut the fuck up, Bobby.”

You jump at the sound of scream coming from Kurt’s house. After a minute, Kurt closes his front door and shuffle runs to the car.

“What was that?”

“What was what?” You point towards the house. “Oh, my mom dropped something but she’s ok. Did someone say something?” He scrolls through his phone. “Hey Bobby. Oh my god. He’s so funny.”

He hooks his phone back to its dock as he starts to drive away.

####################

You guys drive for a while before a ride comes through. Kurt stops at a house to pick his new passenger Fredrick. You give him a warm smile and he does the same. Kurt lies telling the man that the cameras are for security. You sit there silently, listening to them talk. Fredrick mentions that he’s been working on speech and is headed to an event with 3,000 people.

Kurt’s eyes light up as he asks the man to tell his followers how he grew his audience to that size. Out of nowhere, Fredrick starts talking about “men like us” growing on social media.

“What do you mean ‘Men like us?’”

“White men.”

Your eyes widen as Kurt continues to face the window.

“You’re white, aren’t you?”, Fredrick asks and your boyfriend confirms.

His passenger continues to spew racist, sexist, and homophobic comments as Kurt tries to talk to him telling him how it’s “not cool”.

He suddenly presses on the breaks causing you and his ride fly forward.

“Jesus! There’s a lot of stop signs.”

“Yeah.” Kurt ducks his head, looking around. “I don’t see any cops around. Should I run through this next one?”

“Kurt, no.”, you reach for his arm.

He glances at you as he runs past the stop sign. “Geez, baby. I almost forgot you were there. You’ve been so quiet. Fredrick, this is my girlfriend, Y/N. We’ve been together for about ten years. Can you believe that?”

“Hm. Are you a snowflake as well?”

You roll your eyes at Fredrick, jumping as Kurt runs another stop sign. “The man asked you something, sweetie.”

“Kurt, stop it.”

Fredrick laughs. “I’ll take that as a yes. See Kurt, this is what I was saying. You have to keep your woman in line.”

Kurt’s grip on the steering wheel tightens. You know he hates what this guy is saying as much as you do. He takes a right turn down a deserted dirt road you don’t recognize.

“Hey, remember there’s water back there if you need it.”, he pointed towards the water bottle he had stuffed in the seat pocket.

“Kurt, what are you doing?”, you tone comes out low but forceful. You reach for his arm again but he still doesn’t acknowledge you. Instead, he leans forward turning on the radio.

Both your eyes shift to the back seat when you hear Fredrick coughing.

“Hey, are there a lot of members in your group? You should let them know you’re not going to make it.”

“That’s not funny.” Your eyes widen as his whole demeanor remains calm.

“Does this water have like a taste to it?” Fredrick starts coughing harder, taking in more water hoping it will help.

“What are you talking about? It’s just pure water!” Kurt smiles into the rearview as one of his previous videos run through your head.

“It’s perfect. Check this out. I already have bunch done.” He turns the camera lens to show a bunch of water bottles in a box.

“Oh my god, Kurt!”, you reach your hand towards the back to take Fredricks bottle but your boyfriend grabs your wrist, holding it to you as he pushes you back against the seat.

You watch in horror as the man flails in the back seat, Kurt moving his head out of the way as he continues to hold you down. After what feels like forever, everything is silent. Fredrick stops moving as his body falls and his eyes close.

His eyes flick to the back, before Kurt smiles at the camera, releasing you to grab his sunglasses and hold up a peace sign. He keeps driving until he pulls off into an abandoned area not too far from your house. You used to take him here when you were growing up when he needed to get out of house, away from his family and stress.

He moves around beside you, tapping his phone before you hear the beeping of all 5 cameras in the car turning off. You move your head meeting his eyes. He had taken off his sunglasses and threw them back in-between your seats. There was a small moment where the world stopped and you were lost in each other’s gaze. Where Kurt wasn’t the guy who just murdered someone with you in the car on camera but the small boy you met on the swing set who made you laugh.

You both opened your car doors at the same time as you sprinted away from the vehicle. He tackles you as you both tumble to the ground. Kurt’s arms wrap around from behind you, gripping your arms as he pulls you to your feet. He tugs you towards the car, throwing you against the trunk as he pinned you with his body, his hand roughly covering your mouth.

“This is what I’ve been planning. This is part of the lesson. I brought you because I wanted you to experience this with me. You said you supported me. That you would always be my number one fan.” His tone changed becoming more authoritative. “Support. Me.”

A tear escaped your eye and landed on his hand. Kurt blinked as if he was just now realizing he was pinning you down. “Oh honey, you’re shaking. I would never hurt you. Not like that.” He pointed towards his backseat. His hand slid from your mouth as his fingers caressed your cheek.

“You ARE hurting me.” You try to move your body but you can’t against his hold.

“You ran.”

“You scared me. This is scaring me. This isn’t you, Kurt. Let’s just stop this.” You look around helplessly, not noticing his eyes start to glaze over. “I can…we can bury the body. No one will find it. No one’s on the stream so no one saw and Bobby will think its fake. We can delete everything—”

His hand comes to wrap around your throat interrupting your train of thought. “People will see it. No one may be on now but they will. Bobby will tell his following and they’ll watch. They’ll see the lesson.”

Something in your own eyes causes his head to tilt as he released his hold slightly so you could speak. “You’re a fucking idiot if you think Bobby is going to help you. He has never helped you before what makes you think he will now?!”

“He’s my friend.”

“He’s a little shit you used to babysit. He’s a terrible fucking person. Why would you want to be like him?! Just because he has millions of followers? Geez, Kurt, I thought you were better than that.”

“Take it back.” You shook your head and he pressed himself further into you until his nose was hovering over yours. “He’s my friend. He’s a legend. Take. It. Back.”

“Make me.”

His lips crashed down on to yours and you deepened it, mewling at the taste of him. You pushed against his hold trying to free your arms from his grasp but he wouldn’t allow it. Kurt was in control here.

He spun you around, pressing his chest against your back. You didn’t even notice when he dropped your forearms to hastily unbuckle your belt, roughly pulling your pants and panties down. Even though you could hear his quick movements behind you, you felt like he wasn’t moving fast enough.

You needed him inside of you desperately.

Kurt breached your entranced easily, moaning at the feeling of your slick practically dripping down your legs. His body encased yours as he held you against the car, aggressively thrusting into you. His big hands were on either side of your arms on top of the trunk and you reached for them, intertwining your fingers with his.

You wanted to speak to him but you couldn’t find words. Every time his cock pushed into you your brain stopped working. All you could focus on was how good his dick felt buried inside of you. Your pussy started to tighten around him and you whined when his hips abruptly stopped moving.

Kurt’s lips hovered over your ear. “Take it back.”

You shook your head. “Fuck him.”

He began thrusting into you again, this time bringing his hand down to rub circles on your clit. You felt yourself getting close to that edge and you whimper when he stops again.

“Kurt, please.”

“Baby, I thought you loved me. I don’t like you disrespecting my friends.” He pulls out, turning you around to face him as his fingers reach down again to continue their assault on your nub.

You feel like you want to cry but you try to control it, not giving him the satisfaction. “He’s not your friend. I’M your friend. I’ve been your best friend since we were kids. I-I-I…” Kurt slides his length into you again, pumping slowly as his fingers pick up speed. He watches your face as it contorts in pain and pleasure.

When he stops again, you feel your will give. You can’t take it anymore. “I take it back.”

“What was that?”

“I said I take it back! I’m sorry, Kurt. Please, it hurts. I love you so much. I’m sorry.” You close your eyes as you continue to plead with him.

Something in the atmosphere changes as his touches become gentler. He reaches for your arms, interlocking them around his neck as he grabs your thigh, lifting your leg up to his waist.

Kurt thrusts into you again but he’s a lot less rough and more precise. The tip of his cock hitting that spot inside of you every single time. When you finally open your eyes, they are met with his gorgeous honey ones. They are much softer now and filled with love for you.

This is the man you fell in love with. You feel the coil about to snap and this time he doesn’t stop. Your body trembles in his hands as you cum hard around him. Kurt holds you against him as he chases his own high. His head falls on to your shoulder as he grunts, releasing ropes of his seed inside of you.

You reach up, brushing his hair out of his eyes when he finally leans his head up to look at you.

“Baby, trust me. This will all be worth in the end, I promise.”

You look in his earnest, hopeful eyes.

“Have you made any new friends yet?”

“You’re the first person to talk to me today.”

“It’s just cause people don’t know you yet.”

Oh, they were about to know him but no one would ever understand him or love him the way you did. After a couple of minutes, you finally nod your head.

“Ok, so what happens next?”

#joe keery #joe keery smut #kurt spree #kurt kunkle #kurt kunkle smut #dom!kurt #fan fiction #smut #spree #joe keery spree #kurt x reader #kurt kunkle x reader #kurt kunkle x y/n #kurt kunkle fanfic

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mechcanicalmadness · 4 months

Text

Introduction!! Yippee!! Hello I am a very scared robot on the internet who draws!! I am also the one who manages the @bungostraycreatures blog! Go check it out :] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Names: Nox/Moth/Mad but you can also call me variants of my username! Whatever you feel the most comfortable with essentially :] Pronouns: Any pronouns but I prefer gender neutral or masculine terms and also tech themed neos I post art! I will be tagging it as #Madnessdraws from now on! [General yapping will be tagged with #Madnessyapping] Omnisexual/romantic, no gender labels because I don't really know, but I am a robotkin! Funny bug robot lizard thingy Special interests: Art/character design, robots, and mad sciency type stuff (like organs and taxidermy and all that) !!I swear a LOT, if that makes you uncomfortable maybe stay away from me!! I type fast a lot so if I spell something wrong just make fun of me I'll laugh at it too [Also I speak in a weird mix of British-English and American-English because my spellings got messed up don't question it] Also mutuals who aren't Ozzie I'm so sorry if I'm awkward around you I am so bad at socialising I'm a minor but idrc if you're weird unless you're being /srs then I'll sick @rab1darachn1d on you (he's my super cool son and he will hunt you down I'm being so fr he will send you death threats) but like I find sex jokes incredibly funny Also like NSFW only blogs y'all are chill so you can hang around but I won't interact with you [Just cause I'm a minor] WE STAND WITH PALESTINE🇵🇸 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ We are a system!! I am the host and owner of this account, the others don't really post when they are out but if they do they will tag it [For example: #PjussyJumpscare is PJ and #AvenJumpscare is Aven] [Please don't be weird to them, they will block you and also probably say very interesting things as in they will bully you] ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ DNI List!!-Proshippers and zoophiles [Stay the fuck away from me y'all are so gross -"radfems" and "terfs" [BOOO] -Pro Israel people -Endos [I don't know much about y'all but you make my son uncomfy so I got something against you] -Homophobes, transphobes, etc-"*** personality disorders are abusive" [If you say this shit get away from me] -people who are against others with "scary" disorders [Piss off] -pro ed mfs... [wtf man...] -people who are shitty towards therians, otherkins, xenogenders, etc ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ Fandoms!! Just to name a few: -BSD -Guilty Gear -BorderLands -Fullmetal Alchemist -HSR -SIIIGHHHH Genshitters impact. -OFF -HLVRAI -ROR -Madness Combat -Violet Evergarden ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[First image is drawn by @rab1darachn1d, Userbox and my pfp made by @sundazeing, and the bottom three are drawn by me!]

#intro post #introduction #Madnessdraws #Madnessyapping

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mountain-in-springtime · 1 year

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unchained melody

pairing: josh x reader | word count: 914 | warnings: kissing (?), slight implications of nsfw but only if you're really looking for it | my masterlist

summary: a quiet evening with josh after he returns from tour <3

author's note: this idea came into my head yesterday, and i haven't been able to stop thinking about it, so i hope y'all enjoy it. also, this is obviously inspired by hearing josh sing unchained melody

*******************************************************

Josh practically fell through the front door. He’d been away on tour for what felt like a lifetime, and his plane ride home had left him exhausted. He placed his bags on the ground and allowed his eyes to scan the room. His only concern was finding you and having you in his arms again. Thankfully, his prayers were answered as he heard footsteps drawing closer from the hallway.

“Joshy!” you gasped, running up to him and enveloping him in a tight hug.

He let out a small chuckle. “Hey, honey, it’s good to see you. I missed you so much.”

Your grip on him only tightened. “I missed you too, Josh. What are you doing here so early? I thought you were landing around nine.”

“Our flights got moved up, so I figured I’d surprise you,” he explained with a smile. “But if you want, I can leave and just come back at nine.” He started to pull away but was quickly stopped by your arms holding him in place.

“Not a chance, Joshua,” you said through a fit of laughter. “Besides, I like surprises.”

He fell into a small string of giggles. “Good.”

Your lover leaned forward, pulling you into a kiss. You felt his hands travel to the small of your back as yours found their way into his mess of curls. Feeling his touch again after months of being separated was like heaven on earth, and you couldn't wait to make up for lost time. You pushed yourself against Josh, wanting to be as close to him as possible. He deepened the kiss, his hungry lips moving against yours. You kissed him back with fervor until you finally (and reluctantly) pulled away.

“Alright, loverboy, I have a pot of soup in the kitchen that I have to go check on,” you said, watching the pink hue that colored Josh's cheeks at the pet name.

“Oh honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were cooking anything. Do you need any help?” he asked as he slowly made his way towards the kitchen.

You shook your head. “No, baby, I just want you to relax. The soup was supposed to be ready when you got home, but it might take another 30 minutes or so.”

“That’s alright,” he replied, placing a quick kiss to your forehead, “I appreciate you doing all this, you know. You didn’t have to.”

You smiled before giving him a kiss on the cheek in return. “I know, but I wanted to. I like to make you feel special.”

He gave you a soft smile, “Well, thank you, honey. That’s very sweet of you,” he responded, pulling you in for one last hug before letting you tend to the simmering pot on the stove.

When you got to the counter, you turned back to face Josh again. “Hey, honey, why don’t you put on a record before you sit down? You can pick the album.”

“Great idea,” he answered, walking into the living room. After a few moments, he returned, and the sound of gentle music filled the household. You let out a long sigh as Josh sat at the kitchen table, a content smile painted across his features.

You returned the smile, turning back towards the stove. "So tell me about the tour! I wanna hear all the details."

His face lit up as he began a long account of various stories from the road and high points from each show. You happily listened, delighted to hear his voice and be in his company again. As the two of you fell into a moment of silence, you heard the record player begin another song.

Woah, my love, my darling

I’ve hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time

Josh got up from his seat and began to walk towards you. “Oh, baby, dance with me.” You felt his hands find their way to your sides, gently turning you to face him.

You gave a quiet “okay” before placing your hands on his shoulders and pulling yourself into his embrace. The two of you softly swayed back and forth, slowly making your way across the kitchen floor. After a bit, Josh began to quietly sing along to the record

Lonely rivers flow

To the sea, to the sea

To the open arms of the sea, yeah

Lonely rivers sigh

Wait for me, wait for me

I’ll be coming home, wait for me

You looked up at him and grabbed his face, pulling his lips to yours. The kiss was gentle but full of passion, and it completely enveloped the both of you, allowing you to become lost in each other until there was nothing left but silence in the room as the song ended. You finally came up for air but didn’t speak a word, afraid to end such a perfect moment. It was only after a few seconds that Josh broke the silence.

“Hey, baby? I love you so much.”

A wide grin spread across your face, “I love you too, Joshy. I missed you so much,” you said, burying your face into his chest.

He let out a small chuckle, replying, “I missed you too, honey.”

“Hey josh?” you inquired, your face muffled by his chest.

“Yes?” he prompted, looking down at you.

“Maybe that could be our song,” you replied, shyness painting your cheeks pink.

A smile danced across his features as he placed a kiss to your forehead. “Yeah, maybe it could, my love.”

#josh kiszka #josh kiszka x reader #josh gvf #josh x reader #josh kiszka x y/n #josh x y/n #greta van fleet #gvf #josh <3 #josh kiszka fanfic #mal writes #Spotify

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saintoddyssey · 10 months

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You know why I'm here

Back with another post, this time and once again involving a certain fandom. Yes, Spindlehorse. Once again, it involves the elephant in the room and they are the toxic stans. Aka Vivaholics. I'm separating them from those who aren't toxic, so that it's not generalization. Back to the topic, these past few days have once again proved why my points still stand from before.

(Do NOT under any circumstances harass anyone mentioned here please. Harassment is not tolerated. Please and thank you..)

(Screenshots are provided by an anonymous person.)

There was a video made by MegaChan that's parodying The Amazing Digital Circus, which seemed to be harmless in my opinion. Well, not everyone thinks that and those who took offence to it were Vivziepop and her stans. The very people who decided to make a big deal out of the situation, when it really shouldn't be the case as it got blown out of proportion. Now me personally, I didn't think it would get under anyone's skin like this. But with how Viv and the vivaholics reacted, it somehow did and it somehow got worse from there.

Vivaholics would soon go after Idolomantasies, after a comment he made saying he's glad that there's more people seeing Viv's true colors as well as a redesign that he made not too long ago. They took offence to it by harassing, threatening to harm and even male false rumors about Bug in an attempt to make him look bad. Which to me is uncalled for and unnecessary, but that's how vivaholics are apparently. Because it gets worse. They would even defend a person by the name of DaniDraws for wanting to "pop Bug in the mouth", which she backtracked by saying she wants to "flick him" instead. Either way... Their allies defended them as they lack accountability and self-awateness like I said before, it was uncalled for and unnecessary. Hell, they would even make excuses for their actions by playing the victim and not owning up to what they have said.

As of this being typed, it's only getting worse when there's fans within the fandom themselves aren't comfortable with how the big named individuals in the community have been handling the situation. It's a mess and it really shouldn't have gotten to this point. Although, it did expose their true colors as well and I'm not surprised to be honest with y'all.

#spindlehorse critical #vivziepop critical #helluva boss critical #hazbin hotel critical

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thatonesalmonlingnamedspike · 1 year

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welcome :D

(images above is not mine, it's an art req by @pokimoko[a cool person :D]!) (i will hold onto these forever tysm dude)

(also AUDHD OCTOLING SQUID!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!)

(tw!!! I swear here(got that American and Scottish in my dumb self), if you don't like it, you should probably go!!! I don't wanna make people sad :<) 🦑 ★ this abt me temp is by @electricalstemplatesᔦꙬᔨ—!! ╰━ Name: Spike ↭ Age: not telling but here's a hint: I cannot drive a car┊🎮 Pronouns: any! she/her is preferred tho!!! ﹅ __gender: Transfem | orient: lesbian__ꕀ🏆 ✮ l [link]() 🔫➜ I (surprisingly)have a gf who likes to be called Eight/Agent 8!!!↯ . . ੭ ⁠くコ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡く⁠コ⁠:⁠彡

⁠ C⁠:⁠彡 C⁠:⁠彡 C⁠⁠:⁠彡 C⁠⁠:⁠彡 hello, I'm Spike! you can call me Goldie if you want, too. i go by any pronouns! i have ADHD so i may forget to do things... if i do, remind me! ;-;

cake day: jan 19 :D

a furry/avian/lgbtq+ safe space! (if I ever make you feel uncomfortable, please tell me!!! I don't wanna make you feel that way!!!!)

i am opening art requests again after like 3 months lol i can draw:

pfps

ocs(that aren't complicated)

memes

reaction images

art prompts

please send asks on @askbfdicharactersorocs i wanna draw objects more

BUBBLE BLOG: @thebubblebfb

BH BLOG: @etherealhole

LIY BLOG: @liythefourbiddenexplorer

TWO BLOG: @two-integer

ROOT BEER(my objectsona) BLOG: @transfem-cowgirl-cook-rootbeer

GOO BLOG: @cheerfactoryco-founder

TEA KETTLE BLOG: @caring-kettle-ii

FOURBIDDEN AU BLOG: @fourbiddenarchives

ANOTHER WORLDBULDING BLOG WITH ANOTHER OBJECTSONA: @spikyhairpick

WEATHERY BLOG: @ask-weathery

you can also find me on: RobloxWattpadBeta.Character.AIScratchRedditTwitter/X

here's Root Beer V3!

AND Golden Egg!

about the Salmonling:

ROOT BEER?!?!/!(REAL)(AT 3 AM) :000000000

nicknames:

Spike - yea sure, anybody can call me this Salmonoid - it's salmonling, but they get mixed up often so yea :) Salmonling - sure :) Golden Egg: godamnit 8 I will get you back for that (she kept calling me this when we were at a cafe and due to me having the 'ability' to get embarrased easily of a glass ant with broken legs I was a blushing mess for the rest of the time I was with her--) THING - w h y d o y o u c a l l m e t h i s Person - ok???????? Root Beer - go for it :D Spika - this one's your fault irl fren/silly Pika - other sona's name so ye :D Asteroid - old roblox name, ye :D Asriel/Alphys - my kin so ye :) legal name - big no-no >:( Any other silly little nicknames: go for it!

i run a BFDI/TPOT/II ask blog called @askbfdicharactersorocs! if you wanna ask stuff there, to to that :D i also have a blog that just puts Root Beer in random ass places that y'all ask me for called @puttingrootbeerinplaces!

i'm a young artist trying to build my following on Tumblr! I draw many things, including;

-{memes(sometimes)}- -{CHANGED}- -{Bugsnax}- -{fanart(sometimes)}- -{Battle for BFDI/TPOT}- -{Mysterious Object Super Show}- -{Otherworldy Ravenous Beast}- -{Animated Inanimate Battle}- -{Open Source Objects}- -{Excellent Extraordinary Entities}- -{Beautiful Ultimate Really Never Ending Realm}- -{The Daily Object Show}- -{The Nightly Manor}- -{Inanimate Insanity Invitational}- -{and other object shows!}- -{smaller game characters}- -{splatoon}- -{transfurs}- -{My own OCS}- -{UNDERTALE}- -{Cookie Run}-

and more to come in the future! my blog is mainly for wholesome content cuz do a lot of meme/just straight up wholesome art.

i'm alright with nsfw art of my ocs although i wont draw any nsfw myself. i'm not ready yet...

my asks are always open, I would love to answer questions for you all on both accounts! :D

my account isin't that active with posts since i often forget to finish or just start another drawing...

i appreciate likes and reblogs and I would love for you all to follow me on my adventure through Tumblr! be sure to stick around for stuff like work in progress animations and artwork. <3

birthday: jan 19 :D

fav colors: 💜purple💜 💙blue💙 💖pink💖

Interests:

Object Shows

Memes

Spongebob(ik sounds generic but yea i love that show)

Pokemon

Minecraft

Splatoon

Roblox: @mayab3020

UNDERTALE

Bugsnax

Cookie Run: Kingdom

sexuallity: lesbian, objectum

kin:

Remote (Tpot/Bfb)

Asriel (UNDERTALE)

Alphys (UNDERTALE)

Ash Ketchum (Pokemon)

Teardrop(BFDI,BFB,BFDIA,TPOT)

Taco(BFB)

Taco(II)

thank you for reading :>

aughs-ajofoijeijvdv

#Spike's About #spikethesalmonling

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tennythemany · 1 year

Text

The Talk

Alright I've been dodging the topic for months now, and I did make this tumblr account to vent it out, but let's talk about why I've stopped posting on the tenpenny account

• Burnout, Identity, Elves vs Ducks

The slow but insidious reason. I've been gposing for about 2 years when I stopped in Feb, and I've been rummaging through my glam dresser everyday to make new outfits for my Elezen. It's what I started gposing for (making cute elf glams), and why I continue to play the game.

But sometime in 2022, that changed. Tried anam for the first time. Started making my own poses. Then I got a hit post. I saw more likes and views. I saw growth, and then I got ambitious. I tried making bigger posts, I read tutorials, I leveraged on my years of knowledge on memes, and I. Made. Memes. That's when things really took off.

That's also around the time I started noticing something. If I put the duck in my posts, I'd get more likes on that post. The duck became a recurring character in my posts. But then people started caring more about the duck than the elf, replies became more about the duck, and that was something I *really* didn't want. People wanted to see the duck. I put it in when I was having a hard time coming up with new ideas. Watch the duck post get more likes than the elf posts. Watch my heart sink.

While gposing would never not be fun for me, at some point I felt like I was posting more for likes than for myself. That feeling never really went away, and so it stayed long past Feb 2023

• The GShade incident

Y'all may remember a little incident at the start of 2023 that got the ffxiv community very plus not-good mad. Not going into details, but a small outcome of that incident resulted in some tangentially related creators to be lumped into that mess.

People wanted blood, and the creators basically got cancelled out of existence along with GShade's creator. Somewhere in that firing line, someone I supported and admired was targeted, and through some *very* shallow accusations, they were hit too.

(And no, I won't be naming anyone)

That event made me realize two very important things:

Years of goodwill and hard work can be undone in a single week if people believe you to be evil

I fucking hate X (formerly twitter)

So that was it. I didn't want to continuing doing something that can forever undermine my work in the heat of the moment, and I've developed a newfound hate for twitter and the mob justice the site perpetuated.

So I left.

(But just the main account, I do whatever I want on Tenny)

• Making a joke is hard when you're sad

So most of you might know me for my memes. A large part of me is driven by the positive reception you've given me, and I'll be eternally grateful for all your support, but that changed when all the above happened.

I've been agonizing over how I feel about all this, and scrolling through X (formerly twitter) just made me feel worse. I couldn't wring a good joke out of me. I couldn't make other people laugh when I couldn't make myself laugh. I didn't *want* to make when some of the people involved were my followers either.

So I stopped.

• The ever creeping shadow of age

I'm 34 this year. I've spent a lot of time on FFXIV, and to be honest, not much else. I don't have a significant other, and I don't do anything but play video games and occasionally hang out with friends for tabletop games. I've got a few projects outside of gposing, but they've been dead in the water for years.

Gposing and making memes take time. It's about 2-3 hours on average to make one, and that's if I already have a set piece ready. It's another hour to look around locations in-game, or who knows how many hours if I'm building my own. Because of work, that sometimes means I have to gpose late at night. Because of gaming, that means I *always* have to gpose late at night. I've been gposing late till 1-3am consistently in 2022, and my sleep schedule is all out of whack because of it.

I *really* don't want gposing to be my legacy.

Gposing comes to me at an opportunity cost. I've still got a few good years left in me, but at some point I need to start thinking about what I want to do, be it saving for retirement, pursuing a passion I've been putting off, or just any plan for the future at all. Maybe I'll finally put my gamedev knowledge to use, maybe I'll delve into the VR scene, maybe I'll learn how to make videos like the young me always wanted to.

But that meant I need to put less time into gposing.

So, the events of the points above was a good opportunity for me to suspend my activities and give myself some time to think about what I want to do in the future. It was clear I needed a break, and I needed a clear head to think things through. Come up with my five-year plan, so to speak. I'm thinking hard about what I want to do in the future.

I'm thinking real hard.

*Real* hard.

(Don't look at my playtime for Armored Core 6)

• Wow, video games are becoming really fun

I don't doubt ffxiv will be my forever game, and I'm glad YoshiP and team have made it so you don't have to play everyday, but holy hell have you seen how many good games have come out over the last 6 years I can't be playing ffxiv all the time you can't make me

Ehem.

Before gposing, video games will always be my main hobby. I have a vested interest in where video games are going, and ho boy are they getting interesting. I can't keep up with all the new terms we're coming up for them, from systemic games to survivor-likes, to Genshin clones being a thing. It's just an ever-changing landscape.

VR gaming is real, we're actually getting a full game from full-priced games, you don't even need to buy individual games anymore, you can play them on a game streaming service, and it's easier to make your own games now more than ever.

Just, wow.

I'd really like to experience all that for myself, so for the past 7 months, I've been playing other games.

A *lot* of other games.

And the biggest thing I've learned through all that is there's a vast and much wider world out there than just the ffxiv community and oh my god what the fuck is the gaming community outside of ffxiv why is it so toxic i can't even-

I'll still be playing ffxiv. Just a lot less. Some things are just irreplacable, y'know?

So there, if you've been wondering where I've been (or where all the memes are), that's the long and long of it. Thanks for reading, and I hope that gives you a sense of where I'm at. Hopefully that covers everything, so-

• CRIPPLING IMPOSTOR SYNDROME

Oh yeah, that.

Wow, I don't know how to tell you guys this, but I am inside a self-deprecating piece of shit who when exposed to other people's work would inadvertently compare myself to them and conclude that "wow, I'm garbage".

It's no secret that I have had no formal art training, or even photography training, or even gposing training if that's a thing, a lot of what I do is self-taught. Just years of trial and error, and mimicking scenes from shows or comic panels I've seen, but I don't have any technical knowledge to know if a picture is 'right' or not. Color theory is completely alien to me before I started learning about them, I was gposing with a blue light filter so everything looked yellow on my end. I don't use mods, so I had to rely on the default models for everything I do. Let's not even talk about photoshop.

And over the years, I've been looking for gpose communities to share my work and see what other people are cooking up. I see it all. Better composition, better colors, better post processing, better poses, better backgrounds, better editing, better...everything. In my mind, everything just looks better than anything I could have done. I know I shouldn't let that get to me, but, y'know

So part of me wanted a smaller audience, somewhere I could curl up in without needing to think to myself 'oh god 3000 people are going to see this post' and think insane things like 'this isn't a 100-likes post' or whatnot. Creator thoughts. Insane thoughts. It was driving me insane.

Some part of me just wanted to post elves. The other part wouldn't 'just' let me post elves. It had to live up to what I've done before, it had to be perfect.

Now I just want to post elves.

• Final (fantasy) thoughts

So barring that last point, that's the thick and thin of it. If you read this far, then wow maybe my composition skills haven't fallen off a cliff just yet. Thank you for reading my jumbled stream of consciousness, and while Tenpenny might not be around anymore, Tenny's always around to talk about elves.

This is me, this post is about why Tenpenny is dead, and this is why I've stepped away from making memes regularly, and content creation in general.

Elezen cute.

Also FUCK the X (formerly Twitter) word limit, I've always hated it omg

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