#i rewrote this entire thing

[maineventbts]

DON’T SCREAM

Genre: horror , smut , angst

Pairing: college bf!Taehyung x reader

Warnings: violence , murder , explicit language , talks of murder , unprotected sex (pls be safe!) , dirty talk , possessive behavior

Summary: after the brutal murder of two girls in your town , everyone is on high alert. with your mother leaving town , you’re left to defend yourself from a murderer.

A/N: I haven’t posted in a long time, I’m so sorry for the wait! I hope you guys enjoy this (pls ignore any mistakes, I rewrote this whole thing today)!!

"You’re seriously overreacting," Yoongi’s voice sounded exhausted as the conversation continued. You whip your head around, still in a state of shock, "are you kidding me? Two people we know were brutally murdered." Everyone at the table seemed unfazed at the tragic events that occurred last night. Two of your classmates were found stabbed to death, the entire scene was horrific. Butchered in their own home, the murderer still on the loose. Though your friends would rather talk about a party, you were deeply disturbed. You tuned them out and sat quietly with your thoughts. “Hell no, she’s the only one reacting appropriately,” Jungkook quickly came to your defense. For the last forty-five minutes, he was trying to convince your friend group that they needed to suit up, if they were going to survive. “I’m telling you, this is some shit from a horror movie. Just like the Terrifier, people getting hallowed out and stabbed to death,” you were happy you weren’t the only one to be scared, but he wasn’t helping ease your nerves.

"Hey, what’s wrong," your boyfriend, Taehyung, carefully cupped your face. Your boyfriend was the sweetest person you've ever known. Always trying to take care of you, no matter what the situation was. He looked genuinely concerned about your current state. Your palms were sweating, and the look of fear was all over your face. All you could think about was the next attack, and how anyone could be next. "I’m just a little freaked out, my mom is leaving tonight and I’m a little scared," you took a deep breath, resting your head against his shoulder. He pressed a soft kiss to the side of your head, trying his best to bring you some form of comfort. "You know, I could always stay with y-" letting out a chuckle, you interrupt his suggestion. "You know I'd like that, but my mother would kill us both," your friends laugh at Taehyung's attempt to spend the night with you. The gesture was beyond sweet, but unrealistic. If anything, you’d find yourself at Nayeon’s house for the week.

As you get up to head to your class, you give Taehyung one final kiss, "come by after school, just for a bit."

______________________________

"Baby, keep it down," Taehyung grunts quietly as he hovers over you. Slowly raising your leg, he throws it over your shoulder, continuing to thrust into your sopping hole. As he picks up his pace, you whine, grabbing a hold of the sheets beneath you, "it's too much." He softly chuckles, bringing his fingers up to your lips. You instantly parted your lips, allowing his digits to slide in. You whine around his fingers, drool pooling at the corners of your mouth.

Though your moans have been silenced, the sound of wet smacking is prominent throughout your bedroom. With each thrust, your walls tighten around his cock, causing him to let out a low groan. Your brain becomes foggy, and you feel like you're floating, "c’mon pretty girl, come all over my cock."

His hips continue to slap against yours, and you feel an intense wave of pleasure rush over you. Taehyung loved the sight in front of him, your eyes rolling back as you moaned around his fingers. You're falling apart on his cock with one more thrust, dripping all over him. Not too far behind, he picks up his pace, chasing his high. "Fuck, angel," he groans before hiding his face in your neck. After a few more quick thrusts, he's spilling his seed into you. As you both catch your breath, he leans up, leaving a kiss on your forehead and your lips. You both scramble to get up and clean before you get caught.

A loud knock on your door interrupts your sweet moment, "Are you alright in there? I haven't seen you in a while." The sound of your mother’s voice sends you both into panic mode. "Yeah, I’m fine! Just about to shower," you quickly respond as Taehyung is halfway out of your window. "Thanks for coming," you whisper, walking over to your boyfriend. Taehyung intertwines your fingers, pressing a light kiss to the back of your hand, "just call me if you need me. And lock your doors when she leaves; there’s a lot of bad people out here. Wouldn’t want you getting hurt." With a quick peck, he’s gone, leaving you to wobble towards your shower.

_______________________________________

"Are you sure you don’t want to come with? "I don't feel too comfortable leaving you alone," your mother expressed her concerns as she stood in your doorway. Knowing how frightened you’d been since the news came out, she couldn’t believe that she had to leave you by yourself. She was leaving for a conference, and you’d be alone for the next week. With the recent killings, she wanted you to be surrounded by others, suggesting that you stay at Nayeon’s. A large part of you wanted her to stay, but you knew how important this was for her. "I’m sure I’ll be fine. If I get scared, I'll go stay with Nayeon and her mom," you hurriedly told your mother as you pushed her towards the front door. Time was ticking, and if she stayed any longer, she’d miss her flight. "Alrighty, mother, I’ll see you later. And bring me back something back from your hotel!" You shout after your mother as she’s entering her car.

After your mother left, you decided to make some dinner. You thought a small meal and a show would distract yourself from your loneliness. While you were cooking, your friend's group chat was blowing up. They started off comforting you and ended up arguing about which movie franchises were the best. Most of the group leaving the conversation, after one of Jungkook’s infamous movie lectures. Along with those texts, you received several reassuring messages from Taehyung. He even offered to FaceTime for the night, which you declined. You didn't want to feel like a burden, so you decided to suck it up.

You decided to sit in the living room with your meal. Browsing through different streaming services, you search for your favorite show. You click on ‘Pretty Little Liars’ on the screen, as if this isn’t your sixth time watching the series. As soon as the episode starts, you regret your choice of TV. Choosing a suspenseful show about a missing girl wasn’t your brightest idea. However, after triple checking that all your doors were locked, you felt like you might be able to sleep through the night.

An alert sound comes from your phone. Your eyes dart towards your device on the marble coffee table. You quickly reach for it, expecting a new message from your boyfriend, or another text from Jungkook about how Trey Songz ruined Texas Chainsaw Massacre. What you hoped would be something nice was something absolutely horrifying. "All alone in the house, can’t believe you didn’t lock your doors." Your heart drops to your ass, chest tightening as you stare at the message. You let out a small gasp, trying to be a silent as possible. You want to believe that this is just a sick joke, maybe from one of your friends, but you know they would never scare you like this. After the murders the other day, you knew that this was real.

The television continues to play quietly as you clap your mouth shut. You don’t turn it off, trying not to alert whoever sent the message. They could be inside the house or just messing with you from the outside, but you had no plans on finding out which was the truth. Freezing in your seat as your mind is racing, you try your best to come up with an escape plan. The three main exits to your house are locked, you checked them several times, and you haven't gone anywhere since. You needed to know exactly where they were hiding and how they got in unnoticed.

You cross the front door off your list, too far away and someone might be on the other side. The back door has several locks on it, making it difficult to rush out, it's possible that whoever is hunting you can come up from behind you while you're trying to escape. A single tear drops from your eye, you’re body trembling as you think of the worst possible outcomes. At this point, your only chance is to call for help, not moving from your spot on the couch. Quickly pulling up the dial pad on your phone, you call 9-1-1. Putting the phone to your ear, hand slightly shaking, as an operator answers, "911, what is your emergency?"

You quickly rise up from the couch, trying to be as silent as you possibly can. Before you can answer, clothed hands wrap around your hair, gripping your roots. Snatched backwards, falling over the couch. Your spine connects with the tile, making you shriek out in pain. The wind has been knocked out of you, and the entire room is spinning, you feel paralyzed. Trying to gather yourself as fast as you can, you look up to see a phantom-like figure. Dressed in a black cloak with a twisted mask to match, big build and a silver knife in their hand. The sight was like something out of a horror movie, and you're sure that your role is about to be cut short.

Previously frozen with fear, you find the strength to slide backwards on the floor. Trying to make some space between you and the masked assailant. Every time you slide backwards, they take another step towards you. They’re staring down at you, refusing to make a single sound. You finally find your voice. "Please stop," The words come out small and shaky, matching your current state. They tilt their head, like they’re confused at your pleading. It was clear that you would have to fight your way out of this, they weren’t just going to leave because you begged them to.

You begin to violently thrash, hands flapping around as you kick your feet out. “Help me please,” you scream at the top of your lungs, praying the person on the phone could hear you. The intruder wasn’t fazed by your actions, instead they just watched you act out, not making a single move. A powerful kick sends the reaper to the floor, a muffled grunt coming from under the mask. Pushing yourself off of the floor, you sprint to the phone, quickly snatching it up, “he’s gonna kill me,” you shout into the speaker. Just as you’ve gotten the last word out, you feel your feet get snatched from under you. Back crashing against the floor once again, head hitting the tile. The phone falls next to your head, being kicked away before you could get a hold of it.

Your mind is hazy, eyes clamped shut as you wither in pain. You slowly open your eyes, feeling a body hover over you. The intruder kneeling on your abdomen as they hoist their knife into the air. They bring it down forcefully, your hands coming up to push theirs away. The tip of the knife is inches away from penetrating your chest, barely strong enough to hold them off. Using the force from your hands and your knee, you push them off of you, causing them to stumble backwards and drop the knife. You jump to your feet and rush towards the stairs, knowing there are numerous possible weapons somewhere in your room. As you’ve made it halfway up, you think you finally escaped. Those thoughts are cut short, as you feel hands tugging at your ankles.

You stumble forward, gripping the railing of the stairs. Looking back, the reaper is right behind you, knife in their hands as they try to drag you down to their level. Your body feels weak, lungs feeling empty; it’s nearly impossible for you to continue fighting back. Your strength was no match for whatever they had going on. “This is no way to treat a guest in your home, ___” the voice sending chills up your spine. You nearly let go of the rail out of shock, their voice sounding deep and robotic. “Leave me alone,” you wail, refusing to let go of the railing. You start thrashing, kicking your legs around, hoping to shake them loose.

Your attempt at freeing yourself felt pointless, they weren’t letting go anytime soon and you weren’t sure how much longer you could hold on. You feel a sharp pinch on your ankle, knife piercing through your skin, giving you the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. You let out a loud shriek, tears running down your face as you try to fight through the pain. You couldn’t understand why this was happening to you, or why the were so determined to end your life. “It’ll only hurt a little,” the voice speaks again, as you try and pull yourself up the stairs. They raise their knife again, making your eyes widen. Before you can be impaled again, you kick your feet around violently. One lucky kick sends them crashing down the stairs, where they lie on the floor. Using the railing as a crutch, you quickly limp up the stairs, ignoring the blood dripping down your leg.

As you read the top of the stairs, you bolt down the hallway and snatch your room door open. Once you're inside, you lock the door and begin a frantic search for a weapon. Throwing open your closet, you grab a baseball bat, from the top shelf. Facing the door, you slowly back yourself into a corner, waiting for them to come back. Hands gripping the bat, ready to swing at whoever would come bursting through the door. There was no sounds on the other side of the door, no footsteps, no voices, just complete silence.

After a few minutes, you hear your name being shouted. The voice sounds awfully familiar but you weren’t ready to take any risks. Refusing to move from the spot, you keep the bat raised, prepared to defend yourself. Taehyung's voice can be heard on the other side, frantically beating against your room door. Rushing towards the door, you snatch it open, thankful to see a friendly face. You snatch him inside and close the door, locking it behind you.

Throwing yourself into his arms, you begin sobbing uncontrollably. Hands gripping his shirt as he consoles you, your body still shaking from the previous events. "What happened? I came by to see you, and the front door was wide open," he says, pulling away from you, looking for any visible marks on your body. "I don’t know! "They just came out of nowhere," you struggle to explain the incident voice cracking as you try to stop yourself from crying. "All of the doors were locked, everything happened so fast." Your hands are shaking, and your heart won’t stop racing, while you still have a vice grip on the baseball bat.

"I told you to lock your doors; you're practically inviting anyone in here," Taehyung pulls you in closer, his hands running down your back. As he holds you tightly, you sink into his chest, causing something to fall between you. Slowly pulling away, you look down at the floor, eyes coming in contact with a black microphone. You forcefully push his body away from yours, not looking away from the object on the floor. Taehyung shoots you a look of confusion; his eyebrow raises as you glare at him. You push the tip of the bat against his chest, putting space in between you two. Using the bat, you move him away from the door, not saying a word. You were unsure how he knew you left a door unlocked, just like the message said.

Taehyung doesn't even look at what he dropped, not breaking any eye contact with you. He tries to move closer to you but is stopped by the bat. "Baby, what’s wrong," he asks throwing his hands up. You couldn’t believe him, looking over his face, trying to find a fault in his expression. He keeps his hands held up in defense, trying to prove his innocence. "You’re just in shock, a little confused. Just come here," he says, holding one of his hands out to you, trying to draw you in. You don’t give in to his advances, knowing you can’ trust him. In fact, you slowly walk backwards towards the door, not turning away from him. Using your free hand, you slowly unlock the door, and twist the knob. Before he could move any closer, you swung the door open, and accelerated towards the stairs. You wince after every step, ready to cry, your ankle still throbbing from being stabbed.

Taehyung runs after you, screaming your name and trying to stop you from leaving. His attempts are useless because you ignore him and run towards the front door. You unlock the door and throw it open, prepared to hobble down the porch. As soon as the door opens, you've come face to face with the mask that was previously trying to slaughter you. You’re shouting at the top of your lungs, thinking you’ve come face to face with the perpetrator. The mask is lowered and officer and friend, Seokjin, shrieks back at you, startled by your outburst. You quickly push past him, not wanting to look back at your boyfriend. "He's trying to kill me," you could barely say as you stumbled down the stairs. Before Taehyung could run after you, he was stopped by several officers who were ready to put him in handcuffs.

Raising his hands up, Taehyung glares at you from your porch, watching as you’re assisted by EMTs. "I didn’t do anything, I was trying to help her," he tries to plead his innocence but is silenced by the police reading him his rights. You ignore him shouting after you, as he's thrown into the police car.

_____________________________________

At the police station, you were accompanied by Nayeon, who was consoling you the entire time. Giving you words of comfort and as much support as she could. You cried as you say Taehyung in handcuffs, screaming at you from across the room, trying to prove his innocence. Your statement was taken by her brother, Seokjin, who was tasked with keeping an eye on you. He tried to get ahold of your mother, calling her phone several times in a row. You couldn’t believe that she wasn’t answering, but blamed it on the fact that she was still on the airplane.

A few hours later, you find yourself at Nayeon's house. When you left the hospital, she demanded that you stay with her and her mom, which you did not decline. You could hardly walk, being left by yourself was unrealistic. You sat at the edge of your friend's bed in silence. Your boyfriend just tried to butcher you and probably killed those other girls. Nayeon tried to disrupt your thoughts with videos she found on TikTok, but you couldn't pay attention. You sat on the bed in silence, praying for the night to end.

"Hey, someone's calling for you. I believe it's your mother," Nayeon's mother said as she handed you the house phone and walked away. You place the phone toward your ear, hoping to speak with your mom after your near-death experience. "Mom," you speak into the microphone, waiting for her to respond. You couldn’t wait to tell her about the traumatic experience and how you wanted her to hurry home.

Tears fall down your face as your heart stops beating. Nayeon looks confused, coming beside you to hear what was going on. What you both hear through the phone left you lost for words.

"Surprised to hear you speaking. A few hours ago, you were all choked up."

[swamp-chicken]

I wish I could explain exact context for certain things and why I feel about them the way I do but it's so convoluted and half of it is just suppositions and vibes so I don't really bother.

but

I do have this insane personal headcanon that bdubs and sethbling are Enemies mostly because when etho and bdubs first recorded on mindcrack, bdubs tried to shit talk sethbling for being too "controlling" over etho and etho being like No He's Not Controlling >:( End of Conversation. Kind of characteristic for their early interactions where bdubs was still feeling out the line with Etho. I think he quickly learned how hard that line is. anyways seth and etho went on to collab on a few things outside of mindcrack and etho is even still a fan of seth today as evident by his comment on seth's latest video about this isane minecraft physics project he did. but bdubs never collabed/interacted with seth outside of the context of mindcrack

seth, by the way, is this absolute genius (not only in minecraft but irl). and was a real redstone genius of the time! bdubs did a little redstone but it was never his area of expertise and he could never really talk to etho as an Equal about it the way seth could. and I can imagine there is some tension and anxiety there on bdubs' part. here is someone who is super smart, who is etho's equal, whom etho will defend to bdubs even though (in bdubs' eyes) he's kind of rude and controlling. bdubs has this developing friendship with etho but he still has anxieties about all these things. he's not smart enough or cool enough or has crossed too many boundaries to really be etho's friend.

anyways seth gets invited to mindcrack and etho, his buddy, gives him a tour of the server. but the tour is completely derailed because etho pranked bdubs and wanted to see his reaction. and seth is just . there. laughing– haha. good prank. and etho is clearly so enamoured w bdubs and making up little voices for him as he reads out what he types and giggling over bdubs' reaction

and then etho edits together his video and only puts in the prank part, none of the tour. briefly explains seth is now on the server before launching into the story of the prank he pulled on bdubs, his voice shifting into something so warm and fond.

a few months later etho explains the arena project he worked on with bdubs, and how he initially had an idea for seth and others to help him with the redstone, but that never panned out. bdubs was only guy etho actually asked, bc, as etho says, "I knew he had my back"

bdubs' anxiety about seth ends up not mattering at all. bc seth and etho, yes, are friends and appreciate the game in the same way and both operate on the same level re: redstone. but bdubs has his back <3 and his heart <3

[theshmeepking]

Follow-up question! How did Jigen cope with his decision to leave Aiko behind?

putting this under the cut because WOW this got a LOT longer than i thought it would

the same way he copes with everything else /hj

but frfr, in a way, he didn't? or at least, not the first time.

i didn't really cover any of this in The Aible since it was more jigen's story than aiko's, but basically the headcanon is: jigen initially takes up stealing so he and his sister can survive; he's just a kid and it's not like their dad's doing a good job taking care of them, so he's just doing the best he can with such limited options. it starts small, gradually building up to bigger and better things, and once his dad takes notice of his skill, he exploits the hell out of it.

before long he more or less becomes his dad's little unwilling partner in crime, and though he doesn't like it, it does lead to his dad developing a weird sort of respect for him, and life gets a little bit easier for both him and aiko as a result.

then his dad gets into debt with the mob and asks him for help selling off his sister in order to pay it back.

he shot him and ran without hesitation.

problem is, dear old dad was pretty well regarded in the underworld, and by killing him jigen had basically put a big red flashing target on his back. if he went back to aiko, someone would surely go after her sooner or later in order to get to him. he hated the idea of leaving her all alone, but it was better than the alternative. so he layed low for a while, playing with the cards he had been dealt. he stuck with what he was good at, not caring if he was just digging his own grave at that point. there wasn't anything else left for him to do and he'd much rather ruin his own life than his sister's.

he had already dabbled in alcohol and tobacco before, but he especially doubled down on it after that. drugs, booze, sex; he drowned himself in whatever vices he could get his hands on just to get his mind off of home. after a while that became his new normal.

over the years he garnered quite the reputation for his skills as a hired gun. problem was that most people interpreted "hired gun" as just "hitman" and little else. truthfully he didn't mind all that much--he was so detached from everyone and everything around him that he never paid any real mind to what he was doing anymore--but after a while it just got monotonous. boring.

then a certain monkey-faced thief shows up and starts causing a lot of problems for a lot of people.

some guy wanted him dead, and the first time jigen got asked to kill him, to his surprise, he couldn't. and not due to lack of trying, mind you. it was the first time since he could remember that he'd emptied the chamber of his magnum on a hit. and he liked it.

more and more people wanted that bastard dead, and each and every one of them wanted jigen to kill him at some point or another. and each and every time, he just couldn't do it. it was the most invigorated he had felt in years. it almost became a game between them, and he couldn't get enough of it.

then someone brings his little sister into it. needless to say that was his last job as a hitman.

lupin immediately noticed that his sparring partner was acting strange, and as soon as he found out why, he quickly devised a plan to help him. he claimed it was just because he couldn't stand to see anyone mistreating such a cute girl, and there was certainly some truth to that, but it was more because he had actually come to like the guy. it was the first time the two of them had ever worked together, and they made a surprisingly good team. everything went off without a hitch.

jigen, meanwhile, wasn't really sure how to feel. obviously he was happy his sister was safe, and it felt good to see her again, but at the same time, there was no denying that things were tense at first. they had both gone through hell, and it was wearing on both of them. the sudden realization that she had grown up without him didn't help, either.

still, the whole situation put things into perspective. he had given up everything thinking it would keep her safe, and in one fell swoop it all blew up in his face. on the one hand, he was relieved to find he didn't have to completely cut himself off from her anymore. on the other, it only meant that she was still in danger either way.

he couldn't stay, that would only make her more likely to be targeted again. but if he left, she wouldn't have anyone to protect her, either. he didn't want to drag her into his mess any more than he already had, but he didn't want to completely abandon her, either. no matter how much she begged him to stay, no matter how much he wanted to stay, they both knew it just wasn't feasible.

so, they reached a compromise. he still keeps his distance, but they still keep in touch. he visits every once in a while, makes sure everything is alright, wash, rinse, repeat. it works for him, but now he's faced with a new problem: what does he do now? like hell he's going back to taking hits after what just happened, but what else is a newly ex-hitman to do, anyway?

fortunately for him it's not long until lupin tracks him down, and this time he's got an offer. a job he needs a second person for, and one with good aim at that. and while he probably shouldn't accept job offers from people he's tried to kill before, it's not like jigen has anything better to do. plus he did help him rescue ai. he owes him one anyway.

it starts with one job. then another. then it becomes a regular thing. then they start calling themselves "partners". they start living together, lupin gets a girlfriend, they befriend a samurai, you already know how this goes.

for the first time in his life, he doesn't hate himself. he has people who care about him, who make him happy consistently. and he wouldn't trade any of it for the world.

tl;dr: self-destructive tendencies and eventually an actual support system

[another-corpo-rat]

wip wednesday

tagged by @corpocyborg, ty!!! <3 tagging with no pressure!! @theviridianbunny, @wistereia, @wanderingaldecaldo & @luvwich tfw work has slaughtered most of my motivation to work on things, but i do have some wips in the pipeline, starting with the closest to done:

Pale Yellow

featuring @pozerjacket's darling boy Kauri, and Victoria in a not great mood. Titled after the woodkid song. there's just a few more paragraphs that need re-written before i comb through it again

It’s a familiar enough thing; Stunzer’s voice was always as bright as his mood when he was off-duty – and she was yet to be privy to him not in a good mood. He was one of the rare few who could claw genuine joy out of the shithole that was Night City, a skill she would perhaps envy were she a lesser woman born to parents selfish enough to bring a child into a life condemned to the gutters. But a lesser woman she was not and she’d have no need for it now, not with a one-way ticket booked for London. First-class of course, because she wouldn’t allow herself to suffer lesser.  She was in agony enough as his smile and tone grated against already raw nerves. “Stunzer.” She says, sharp and cold as if she was interrupting someone’s stupidity in a meeting— And really that didn’t seem far off. She did feel him utterly idiotic with that stupid smile and aggressively pleasant mood. Painfully genuine and foolish for it. But not entirely so, at her word the switch flips and his bright smile drops into something more presentable, practiced. Professional. Good. She did keep his contact details for reasons beyond warming her bed. “I have a job for you,” and she could do without her voice sounding rough to her own ears; the words rasping against her coarse throat, “no fixers, no middlemen. Meet me on the Ebunike in Northside if you’re interested, Maelstrom shouldn’t give you any trouble.” She cuts the call before he can speak and wonders why she didn’t just send a text.

That Unwanted Animal

and then there's the untitled very much in the planning stages smasher-getting-pegged fic thats still in the bullet-points format in my document atm. even the title is a placeholder from the amazing devil song

“Fuck you, Blondie.” “If that’s what you’d prefer.” There’s enough of a pause that he seems to be considering it, his jaw working as if he’s caught the safe-word between his teeth and is shaping it with his tongue. “Or,” she croons, with the practiced softness of a suit guiding someone towards the answer they want, “you get on your back instead. See how you feel then.” “And how the fuck will that help?” A click of her tongue, derisive. “You think I let the dolls look at me?” Another pause, another moment of consideration. It’s a bold-faced lie and he knows it, knows she’d sooner break their jaws for looking away rather than forcing their head into the pillows. But it’d hardly be the first time they accepted one another’s lie for their own sake, twisting and working with it just enough to iron out the kinks in their reasoning. Safely tossed away immediately after, to be brought up only when their bickering turns to arguments and a way to shake the other’s foundation. Her success is marked by another huff and the deep dip of the bed as he rolls to adjust his position, ungraciously kicking her in the turn. His smirk is too wide and the late ‘move’ too amused for it not to be purposeful. But her annoyance is short-lived, much shorter than she’d like but— anger is a difficult thing to hold onto as he gets comfortable, the air stolen from her lungs with the picture. [describe adam here. Be horny with it] Those thick legs frame her now as she settles between them, trailing a hand along his inner thigh and almost regretting having him on his hands and knees in the first place. Almost. If she didn’t suggest it for his sake; comfort was rarely a luxury offered in either of his lives, because what does an 8ft war machine need of goose-feather pillows and a gentle hand? Nothing, if he were to be asked, but he was extending a deeper trust than she expected, and so it was the least she could offer in return.

[lohstandfound]

gems from my poetry notebook

transcriptions [and some commentary] under the cut

concrete imagery bitch

i dont know anymore

could just remove instead of replace --> fuck it, remove these. no replacements

nah, original

draw on my 'wonderful daring feel for the erotic' for this part a little [a comment i received on an early draft of this collection i did for a class]

needs some better energy & shit

IMAGERY

okay maybe there's a lot i can work on

[screenshot from a comment i recieved] 'a great title for this poem. i so enjoyed the unapologetic eroticism and 'blasphemous' toying with religious iconography' [the poem was called 'blasphemy'. it was about fucking a girl in a church]

what is this??? you dumb bitch

do like, not sure will leave in for now

nah, no enjambment there --> maybe see how it looks --> yes enjambment

irony is the fact [redacted] only did photography for the art portfolio. it wasn't 'her thing'

valid, my beloved ['valid' was the first poem i performed, it is a very important poem to me]

def. not necessary

do not refer to your friends as twinks in work you're gonna publish please

what if it was a lot more like a cliche breakup poem? [this was a poem titled 'breaking up with god while coming out to him]

i don't wanna write this one anymore

[pencil drawing of a girl with an eyepatch covering her left eye and a sword strapped to her back, on a blue background with a gold boarder]

yo, what if i wrote a poem where it's literally ritualistic cannibalism? [this was a poem about my first communion called 'committing ritualistic cannibalism at the ripe age of eight'. i did end up writing a version called 'actually committing ritualistic cannibalism at the ripe age of eight'. google doc with both poems are available upon request]

[aventvrina]

songbird #12 - achilles come down featuring Sunday (@halothes) & Aventurine

summary: in the midst of nothingness, madness and harmony, aventurine sees the person who's responsible for it all.

"You crave the applause yet hate the attention, then miss it, your act is a ruse. It is empty Achilles, so end it all now. It's a pointless resistance for you."

'We've got to make good use of death.'

Such were the words he told Ratio before walking to his execution and such was the truth even if masked in deceit. The near omnipresent gaze was meant to hinder their plan as it should be impossible to lie under such circumstances. With every move read and every word analyzed the slightest misstep could be fatal but Aventurine is used to this pressure. After all poker had always been his favorite game.

The confident smile speaks of coercion, an early silencing of the dove that could shatter a million hearts across the universe but none would bleed harder than that of her brother. Tied to the altar as he was, it was impossible to move without stirring the delicate strings of the knot that held Penacony together.

How fortunate of him that Aventurine was there to hold his hand. A faithful servant who had offered himself so graciously, forfeiting his own freedom and power to Sunday as promise of his unwavering loyalty. He was to uncover the truth in his name, perhaps even bring the criminal to his trial, standing shoulder to shoulder with the head of the family as the sinner is sentenced for the murder.

Too bad The Family is not fond of games of deception.

With the barrier broken between the layers, Nihility and Harmony bleed into each other in a slow dance. The fissure reveals a hidden world submerged in slumber, far too big to be ignored but small enough to be temporarily contained. And although Aventurine should be walking beyond the barrier, he finds that there's still some defiant interference in his way.

He should not be seeing Sunday in front of him right now.

'This is all but a fleeting dream.'

They stand on what could be described as a roof top, the black waters gently dismantling the building from beneath but never quite allowing it sink. A silent devouring that should cease as the knot begins to mend itself whole again. But for now, IX remains in the horizon, uncaring of his travel to it's immense shadow and oblivious to the grappling resistant pull of The Harmony.

Sunday's hand is extended, expectant.

"Is this your last effort to keep me?" He can't help but to laugh. The trial should be over and the Harmony's connection severed from him. Whoever, Whatever he's seeing right now is not Sunday, but they managed to make him stop nonetheless.

'Do you love your family more than yourself? '

There is an underlying rage as he recalls the question. To force him to admit such truths to be used as punishment on him was foul. Even after decades of having his origins held against him by everyone he comes across, none hit quite as hard as having the fictitious promise of being reunited with his family again.

A new beginning, free from pain and eternally happy under the merry tune of the harmonious orchestra. It's disgusting. A laughably terrible joke.

Perhaps this is how they attempt to lure him back. If not by love then at least by hate. Surely he wouldn't pass the chance to have one last shot at winning his trial. They studied him so well, they gave his younger self the perfect day of a lifetime, his future a mocking smile that insults him from even daring to fight back, and his present. He was made captive in the dream, isolated from everything and everyone he has come know and forced to walk the Golden Hour in excruciating torturous pain under the guise of investigation. All the while he gave his cornerstone to whoever would accept, the broken aventurines are to spread fortune and wealth to those who need it most.

Such a magnanimous selfless act. He can't believe they fell for it.

The etched marble like smile remains ever so gentle as he approaches. Immaculate gaze elated as if the pain he has gone through was well earned and washed whatever crimes he had committed. All that is left is to do is take the hand and he is forgiven.

Aventurine finds that divinity and economy act the same way. They think themselves superior and justified as they bring ruin for those who swear to their name. Calling mercy to their guiding hand, promising sweet nothings that wouldn't be real had they not destroyed everything beforehand. But the worst of it all, is their self entitlement to punish those who do not comply.

Gaiathra Triclops punishes him for being born. The IPC punishes him for surviving. Sunday punishes him for doing his job.

The only difference is that Sunday is tangible, even if not quite at the moment.

"What a miserable move." He takes the waiting hand and guides it to his waist, letting it rest securely behind him as he crowds the figure. " You should never gamble, your bluff is terrible."

He really shouldn't be entertaining this but Aventurine doesn't know when to quit. Doesn't realize where the edge of the building and the sea of abyss is and how close to danger he truly is. He just keeps walking, guiding the ethereal figure in an embrace towards their destiny. And just as he has continuously done since he set foot in Penacony, he takes a gamble.

"Don't worry." His cynical smile doesn't match his gestures. Caring hands cradle the unmarred face, fingers webbing through soft feathery locks as he lures Sunday ever so close.

He's uncannily surreal, the precious gold doesn't shine in reaction, in fact, he continues to maintain the image of a merciful saint who knows of his past sins and has absolved them. It's a pity he can't have the satisfaction of seeing real fear in such a perfect face.

"I am still on your side." There's some honesty to every lie but the betraying kiss should be for the real one and not for this joke of a fabrication.

With a step back he jumps and then all is black.

[shaba-the-art]

Redraw of a manga panel

[jackietaylorgf]

remembering how i did an analysis of different forms of monstrosity in jennifer's body for a final project but i was also watching yellowjackets at the same time i was working on it and i was so blown away by absorbing the full impact of s1 shaunajackieism in one night that i almost forgot to include The Kiss which was almost the entire reason i chose that project.

[lordsardine]

.

[vieraslaji]

yeah sure why not

[mkstrigidae]

Apparently, the solution to my APWH writer's block was just opening up a new word document and rewriting the whole damn next chapter.

[angel-bubbles]

a glimpse

listening to 'glimpse of us' by joji and had this pop into my head, hence, ' a glimpse' :) ALSO this is my first time writing angsty stuff and having to actually use tags so plsplspls tell me if i missed anything <3

tags: major character death, grief, (implied) mental health struggles, overall angst, hurt/no comfort

The last couple months have been foggy and confusing for them to say the least. Having to fight for the right to their own memories and now constantly hiding from a department they aren’t even supposed to know about. Having to grieve the loss of the one person they feared losing most, followed directly by the loss of everyone else. 

or

angel's life without david

Angel started the day with an ache in their chest that they couldn’t quite push away. A longing for someone they couldn’t have. The feeling pushed a heavy sigh out of their lungs as they dragged their legs through their morning routine. Most mornings they let their brain wander, having no energy to keep it from doing so.

The last couple months have been foggy and confusing for them to say the least. Having to fight for the right to their own memories and now constantly hiding from a department they aren’t even supposed to know about. Having to grieve the loss of the one person they feared losing most, followed directly by the loss of everyone else. 

Glancing at the bed they could see the divot in the mattress where they were meant to find David. His pillow sat in the middle of it,trying to fill the space that shouldn’t have been empty in the first place. No matter how they would lay, Angel always found themself waking up with their head resting on the worn in pillow case, searching for him even fast asleep. The pillow wasn’t warm like him, wasn’t firm like him, it hardly even smelled like him anymore. But it was all they had left.

-

The two were laying on the couch, pressed close. Angel could hear David’s heartbeat, it was strong and steady, inviting them to nuzzle closer into him before he spoke.

“You’re clingy, you know that?” 

“Mm, I’ve never heard you complaining.” Their voice was fuzzy and jumbled from the sleep dancing around their brain but they lifted their head to meet his gaze.

“I never said I didn’t like it, you little snot.” The stern furrow of his brow and his disapproving tone would convince anyone else that he was upset. But Angel saw the glint in his eye along with the upward tilt to his lips and they found themselves beaming back at him, eyes squinty and filled with happiness. 

“You should be thanking me ya know, me and my ‘furnace of a body’ as you like to put it, are keeping you nice and warm.” They said as they plopped their head back onto him. David scoffed a little but Angel felt his arms tighten around them. 

“You are a walking furnace, I’m not entirely convinced you aren’t actually a fire elemental.” Angel smiled to themselves as they stayed buried into his chest, their sleep dragging them away.

“I just feel safe with you.” Angel whispered, “There’s a sort of safety of waking up in your arms every day. I like it.”

-

Doing simple tasks became harder, not for increase in difficulty, but for the lack of his presence. They brushed their teeth alone now, there was no chance for coffee to be waiting in the pot, no one to listen to them bitch about going into work just for the sake of bitching.

Now, as they’re running late for the twelfth day in a row they can’t help but long for him to just be here. Even if no words left his mouth the mere presence of him would wake their tired brain. 

As they stumbled messily towards the door they spun around and stared at the empty house he left them, feeling their heart squeeze. They had built this house into a home together, and he had left a piece of him sewn into every seam.

They let their eyes settle on a small picture hanging crookedly across the room, something he no doubt would have fixed before they could notice if he were here, and stared at the rare smile on his face. 

“Love you Davey. I’ll be home soon.” They said softly, plucking their keys off the hook on the wall. There was no reply as they carefully shut the door behind them. 

-

“I told you this would happen.” David said as he helped Angel dig around their living room. “If you put them in the same spot we wouldn’t be having this issue.” Angel groaned as they shoved their arm into the depths of the couch shooting him a mock glare but saying nothing. They wiggled their hand around for a few minutes before it finally grazed across the metal of their key ring.

Yanking the ring out of the woodworks of their couch, Angel dangled the keys on their finger with a proud smile on their face. “I knew they would be in here.” The pride that came off them in waves caused David to snort a small laugh.

“Uh huh, of course you did you mess. Now leave before you’re even later than you already are.” The words pulled a few curses out of Angel’s mouth as they hurried to grab their things. When they tried pushing past David to get to the door he grabbed their arm bringing them to a stop.

“Forgetting something?” His quirked eyebrow pulled a smile to Angel’s lips as they carefully adjusted their bag onto their shoulder. 

“Love you.” Angel said softly as they leaned up and placed a kiss on his lips. The kiss lasted longer than most of their goodbye kisses and Angel groaned as they pulled away. “But seriously they’re gonna have my ass if I don’t leave.” David hummed and turned them around, gently nudging them towards the door. Angel felt his hand hit their butt as they hurried away and they threw a glare over their shoulder just to see a smug grin on his face. 

“Love you, Angel. Drive safe.” His words caused them to throw a thumbs up over their head before they quickly shut the door behind them. 

-

On their drive to work they found focusing hard, which was frustrating to no end. Their brain kept drifting to David, and their headache seemed to be blossoming into a migraine at this point. They couldn’t stop thinking about how they weren’t even supposed to remember. The department ordering for memory modification 3 days after David died.

The look in Asher’s eyes as they begged him to find a way was something they couldn't scrub from their memory. Crying on his couch while his mate held them and Asher just stared, wide eyes filled with so much more pain than they ever hoped to see in them again. Brand new alpha faced with his first task, and it's a seemingly impossible one at that.

But he found a way. Pulling strings and finding out that Milo’s mate knew people at the department that were willing to lie for them, so long as they made it believable. The agreed upon story was that the memory modification solely removed magical elements from their memory, something Angel wasn’t entirely against if it needed to be done.

When the department persisted in their desire for a total reconfiguration and removal of any memories regarding the pack and David, however, Angel couldn’t keep contact. They purchased an apartment across town and sold their house to Asher to make it seem like they had forgotten their life there.

Making it believable was hard, DUMP is always three steps ahead and Angel knew that coming back to the house every night was risky. They knew that they should split their time more evenly, but the thought of leaving any more of David behind made it hard to breathe.

They couldn’t contact any of the pack anymore for the safety of everyone. Asher would visit the house a lot in the beginning and if they weren’t home he would leave notes on the kitchen table. For a month or two they communicated that way but as time went on he stopped coming by as often, being a new alpha tends to take up your time.  

-

Angel walked in to see David sitting on the couch, head bent down into his hands as he roughly ran his fingers through his hair. His body was rigid and they found themself bending down in front of him, meeting his eyes with concern.

“What’s on your mind, love?” The words were soft but the groan they elicited was loud and frustrated.

“I wish Ash had a little more faith in his abilities. I didn’t choose him just because he’s my best friend, I chose him because if anything ever happens to me I know-”

“Don’t even say that David.” At the interruption his eyes glanced up to meet theirs again and they softened almost immediately. 

“If something happens to me, I know he’ll take care of our family.”

-

They hit every red light on their route which was causing their frustration to bubble to the surface and forcing tears to sting at their eyes. As they sat at the final turn they let their eyes wander, trying to find something to distract them from the lecture they had waiting for them. Their boss was understanding when they had briefly explained “death in the family” months ago. But the longer their absences and tardiness persist the less forgiving she became. It wasn’t that Angel felt the frustration from their boss was uncalled for, it was that they didn’t know how to get back to normal. Their eyes glossed over while they waited for the light to finally turn green. But, as they blankly stared at their surroundings they noticed the license plate in front of them. 

‘MY ANG3L’

-

“Why do you call me Angel?” They were sitting on the counter swinging their feet as they watched David rush around them, cooking some complicated dish for him and his mate. But upon hearing the question his ears tinted pink and Angel smiled as they watched him shoot a confused glance their way. 

“What? Why are we talking about this?” 

“For someone who hates sweet romantic shit so much, Angel is a pretty cheesy term of endearment.” David’s face fell into a glare but his ears got a tinge more red as he turned away from them, putting all his focus onto the food. 

“If you’re gonna make a big deal out of it I’ll stop-”

“No!” Angel quickly interrupted him, this time feeling their own face warm up as he looked at them with a smirk. The two had a small staring contest, David wearing his cocky grin daring them to turn away first before Angel groaned and slightly shoved him by the shoulder. “Go back to making dinner, you jerk.” David’s laugh echoed around them and they felt their heart warm up. His laugh was loud and full and something they wished they could listen to all day. Even if it was at their own expense.

He never answered the question then, why he called them Angel. It was forgotten in their usual banter and him dragging them off the counter top and down to help him finish cooking.

-

They heard the honking of the car behind them before they felt the tears on their cheeks. They hated this, whatever it was. The pain of their headache had increased tenfold as they pulled into the parking lot of their office building and let the tears overtake them.

Their head hurt, their heart hurt, and they longed for a life they couldn’t get back. Their forehead connected with the steering wheel as they cried and watched the time tick by, the lecture from their boss looming over them. 

-

“I- I’m so sorry.” Milo said softly, his usually strong sarcastic tone broken and frail. The shock kept the tears at bay but they felt their knees wobbling as they carefully sunk their body to the ground.

“Milo please tell me he’s okay. Please.” He had to be okay. It wasn’t an option for him to be anything but okay. Milo dropped into their vision, his cheeks wet with tears racing down them and the reality hit Angel, tearing their heart into a million pieces and scattering them in the wind. The despair in Milo’s eyes no doubt was mirroring their own. He was gone.

-

Angel groaned at the memory and quickly pulled out their phone, using it as a small mirror to aggressively wipe their cheeks, trying their best to look presentable. Their eyes were puffy and red, their hair was less than professional and the bags under their eyes were deep set and dark. 

Upon seeing their appearance their boss didn’t even lecture them, instead sending them to work from home with eyes full of sympathy. The notion had made their lip quiver and as they watched their boss's eyes deepen with sadness they kicked themself.

“If you need anything you can always talk to me ya know.” She said softly, which caused Angel to quickly nod their head. 

“Yeah, yeah of course thank you. And I’m sorry about all this.” Their boss shook her head and waved off the apology before leaning forward on the desk and crossing her arms in front of her. 

“Just, be safe out there alright?” 

“Yeah, I’ll see you tomorrow.” Their voice was raw and they quickly hurried out to their car, the pain in their chest hot and sharp. 

-

“Davey?” They said softly looking up into his dark eyes. He hummed, looking down at them while tracing small circles on their hips where his hands had fallen. “Be safe.” 

“I always am Angel. Don’t worry about me. I’ll see you tonight.” He placed a small kiss on their forehead before tucking them under his chin. They were safe with each other. The two of them together, it felt like they could take on the world. Angel never wanted him to leave, they wanted to beg him to stay in their bubble of safety and love. But he had to go. 

“I love you.” Angel leaned up and placed a small kiss on his lips and his hand came up, gently cradling their cheek.

“I love you too.” 

-

What a beautifully tragic set of last words.

[we-joyless-few]

OK ANGST TIME

was thinking about an alternative way my fic “Waking Up Again” could have gone and thought of something pretty dark >:)

putting under the cut.

tw for violence, unhealthy character relationships, and major character near-death.

some spoilers ofc bc it’s using canon characters-

also this could have gone way darker, but… i don’t think people would like me very much if i wrote it-

-------------------------------------------------

Nick Lightbearer woke up once again and looked to his right, terrified of what he might see. Turns out his fears were justified, as the person beside him was not Virgil, not a bird (dead or alive), but rather the one and only Foggy Jack.

The rockstar panicked and moved away from him. How on earth did Foggy Jack get there?! He didn’t want to know, nor find out. Before he could get far, the masked killer grabbed him by the arm and pulled him until he was on his back beneath Jack.

“You can’t leave me, not again. You’re always running about, and it isn’t fair,” Jack almost whispered, his voice breaking slightly.

“What do you want from me?! Let me go!” Nick shouted back, thrashing in the other man’s hold.

Foggy Jack shook his head, grabbing Nick by the neck with one and unsheathing his cleaver with the other. “You can’t- you can’t go, I can’t let you!” With that, before he knew it, he swung the cleaver and lodged it right into Nick’s chest. Jack let go of both the weapon and the other’s neck, staring, horrified, down at what he’d done.

Lightbearer gasped in shock, his eyes frantically darting between the weapon and Jack. His hands trembled as he reached up to grab his killer’s shoulders. “What have you done?” he asked, unable to hold back his tears any longer. “Why do you continue to hurt me?” His voice was strained, and he was losing strength quickly.

“Oh god, I’m- I can’t believe I did this,” Jack wavered, cupping Nick’s face in his hands. “Please, Nick, I’m sorry!”

“‘Sorry’ doesn’t uncleave your chest, you bloody idiot,” the rock god grumbled as his eyes slipped shut. “Just let me die in peace already…”

“No, no, I have to fix this. I can’t let you die. I can’t!” Foggy Jack was desperate as he looked around for healing balm and a bandage, finally finding one in the bathroom. When he returned to the Lightbearer, his face was pale, and blood was beginning to stain his Glad Rags.

Jack acted fast, removing the cleaver and then Nick’s shirt as carefully as he could so he could treat the wound he caused. He spread the healing balm over the injury before wrapping Nick’s chest with the bandages.

Taking a breath, he leaned down and pressed his ear against Nick’s chest and waited with baited breath until he could hear a heartbeat. When the familiar sound of blood pumping met his ear, he began to cry tears of relief; Nick was unconscious, but very much still alive.

Jack let him rest, keeping a close eye on the Lightbearer. Never again would he hurt the man he loved, especially not like this. He couldn’t lose another person he cared about. Margaret’s death had devastated him enough, and when Ollie fled, he had no one.

No one but his idol and obsession, Nick Lightbearer.

[grimmshood]

Hdverse???

hdverse is my oc universe :] i have like three different . stories going on in the same universe and it's called hdverse bc they all have this thing called 'the hazy days effect' in which it's really hard for anyone to understand or explain why certain things happen.

the three stories are called cycles, reflection and timeloop. hazy days is also used to refer to the initial murder case in cycles that sort of 'begins' that story

cycles -> guy gets possessed by a demon that eats people. he doesnt know this. the demon is trying to tie up loose ends and it's not working out so well

reflection -> girl gets stabbed by her twin sister and ends up becoming an immortal being by twist of fate. if you ever witnessed the dhmis gijinka stuff, theres a bit of that nonsense in here. and by that i mean i turned the main two bitches into major characters here

timeloop -> my oc zarah and an evil version of herself from a different timeline have serious beef. like 'i'm going to kill the onyl friend you have if you don't agree with me' type crazy beef

[reikunrei]

and do you ever think about how fucked up will's disappearance was?? huh?? and all of season 1??? and the fuckiness with the demogorgon and the lights?? DO YOU EVER THINK ABOUT IT??? how it doesn't MAKE SENSE in conjunction with the way Everything behaves throughout the rest of the show???

i'm gonna go chew on rocks