#i said that i'd do more attacks this year than last year forgetting the fact that i'm a fucking liar

[glitchviper]

posting the artfight attacks i did half a month after artfight ended because i am amazing at being on time to things

ft. ocs from @gamergirlshelby ,@dantelionwishes ,@beetrootbot ,@cjsees-art ,@zed-the-buggy ,@smol-hibiscus ,@you-may-call-me-meme ,@moonlithwritings ,@greyciees , @korissideblog ,and @transfaulkner

[zylasweetbean]

All Might is a First Year Teacher

All Might gets a LOT of flack for being a bad teacher.

Ignoring the fact that the whole school is a lawsuit waiting to happen, and ALL the teachers (yes, including Aizawa) do things that range from illegal to highly questionable, I'd argue that All Might isn't a bad teacher.

He's a first-year teacher.

And honestly, a good first-year teacher at that.

If you look at his very first lesson, the "Battle Trials," you will see several things he does that first-year teachers struggle with but works to overcome them.

When he gives instructions, the class gets a little out of hand, and he has to try to calm them down.

This happens ALL THE TIME! And not even to just new teachers. Learning how to manage a class is a process even veteran teachers can struggle with. Students are easily distracted and will yell out answers or talk to friends, and you see the same happen with All Might. However, he actually manages to get the class back under control, which isn't easy.

2. He needs to use flashcards to remember the scenario.

It's really tricky to always remember everything that needs to be said for an activity or lesson to work. And if you haven't taught the lesson before, it's even trickier. It's common for first-year teachers to use things like sticky notes to keep track of key information. Sometimes you can even use PowerPoint. All Might didn't have that, so he used flashcards. Now, while it might not look great, it's arguably more important that he remembers everything that needs to be said for the battle trial to work rather than forgetting and trying to explain it later. (Which happens and is messy).

3. He gets a little flustered when Yaoyorozu answers a question really well.

Students constantly surprise their teachers. Sometimes, you ask a question, and they know nothing. And sometimes, they give you a perfect, insightful answer. All Might gets a bit tongue-tied when Yaoyorozu gives a great answer, but what I love about him is that he recognizes she did a great job! He doesn't try to add something to prove that he knows best, but he recognizes and acknowledges her input.

4. He recognizes the needs of his students (even if he doesn't address it perfectly)

During the battle trial, All Might recognizes that Midoriya desperately needed to continue the fight with Bakugou in order to work through some things. Should he have? Probably not, but new teachers regularly try and struggle to know how to best support their students. Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Then after the battle trial, he notices that Bakugou is upset over how it went and tries to offer words of encouragement. In this instance it doesn't work, and Bakugou storms off angry. However, the point remains that he saw the need and tried to address it.

5. He let the fight between Midoriya and Bakugou last too long and get dangerous.

First off, UA let a bunch of teenagers try to attack massive robots as their entrance exams! The battle trial was far from the most dangerous thing UA had already thrown at them, so All Might deserves some slack.

Also, as a first-year teacher, it's difficult to know when to step into a situation and when to back off. All Might tried to give multiple warnings, which Bakugou ignored. Usually, that's enough, but in this case, it wasn't. However, he was still aware of the situation and tried to mediate it, even if, in retrospect, it should have been handled differently.

AND ALL OF THIS WAS HIS FIRST LESSON!

In conclusion, All Might isn't a bad teacher. He is a first-year teacher who is clearly learning but who cares deeply. You can tell by how he supports and interacts with his students; he wants to be there for them and help them become heroes, even if he struggles along the way.

As someone who recently finished their first year of teaching, All Might remind me how challenging teaching can be, but that you don't have to be perfect at it. You just have to keep trying to improve every day, plus ultra style.

[diabolikpersonals]

I would like to hear your thoughts on the DF diaboys routes you have played at this point.

yessir!! under the cut:

Shu: Shu's DF route is an exercise in meeting him where he is. We know Shu loves his family, but we have to understand it isn't easy for him to show it. We're right at the precipice of a big change in Shu and Reiji's relationship, but we have to accept that acting the way Reiji wants him to just isn't what's best for Shu. Yui wants confirmation of Shu's affection for her, but she has to learn that he shows his affection in other ways. It's kind of like this route is showcasing Shu's flaws and you're going, "That's okay! I like Shu because he's Shu!" so I think it's sweet. Take your time, Shu! ...If I had to complain about this route, I'd say that we spend so long away from the other characters that it gets lonely. I guess that's the point, though...I just don't really find all the "hiding from everyone else" scenes very exciting after a while. We could've spoken to Reiji more, and I honestly feel like Shu and Reiji have bigger breakthroughs in other routes, so this one feels like it's missing a big scene with the Beatrix bros.

Ayato: If you had asked me when I had just played HDB and MB, I would have told you, "Never in a MILLION YEARS will I feel anything other than hatred for Cordelia," but well!!! Surprise!!! This one will make you feel things other than hatred for Cordelia, whether you like it or not. I truly understand how the triplets felt when they said they loved and hated her. The situation is too complicated for me to get into it very much here, but in short I'll say that I really liked the direction they took with the plot of this route, and I came out of it feeling like Ayato and Yui took a well-earned step forward. Absolutely loved this one. So proud of both of them. Whenever I play through the DF Sakamaki prologue, it makes me feel cruel if I don't pick Ayato's route lmao

Laito: If you are an angst lover like me then you will eat this shit up. It's an extremely bad time for every character involved. It hurt so good. I had to spend 70% of this route convincing Laito not to kill himself. In this route, Laito discovers a fact about his father that changes his outlook on his entire life, like every single thing about his life, and the performance that Daisuke Hirakawa gives is like.. It's pure art idk what to tell you. Reading this route is not good enough, you need the audio. I was scared, I wanted to cry, and as a triplet lover there were high points too, but my heart ached for the entire route, even through the good ending! I like that even the obligatory fanservice scenes don't let you forget how terrible the situation is! Strongly strongly strongly recommend

Yuma: Alas, I can only give you a super biased review of this one. It's my favorite route because it has so many good Shu/Yuma scenes. This route is our last bit of "Shu avoids Yuma and keeps secrets from him for his own good!" drama before Yuma finally gets the whole truth about his childhood. We get the cute flashback scenes, Yuma gets some awful nightmares and has some panic attacks, there's a little of everything! :D Even Zweig is there and he and Yuma are super cool, and if you know anything about Lost Eden then you know how hilarious that is. Anyway, this all culminates in THE YUMA BEST FRIEND MONOLOGUE which is one of my favorite dialovers scenes, period, because it makes me so happy. It feels soooo good to watch the arson recovery trio...recover from the arson. 10/10. Shuuma shippers, this one is required reading.

Carla: I'm definitely not shaming you if this route is to your taste, but it certainly wasn't to mine :') Most diaboys talk down to you, but Carla talks down to you to such a degree that I started getting offended over stuff I've never been offended about before. Like, "What do you mean you don't like the taste of my blood?! My blood is fucking delicious!" lol. I am not into all the forced pregnancy stuff, I am not into the demon racism stuff, I am not into how often Yui is reminded that she has no family and no one will come save her. I personally found Carla to be unbearable until he collapsed and started the process of dying. Then he got all sensitive and lonely and I was like "ok I can deal with him now." The ending isn't very satisfying either (What do you mean sucking Yui's blood will stop him from dying for now? He's been sucking her blood this whole time and his symptoms got way worse.) and Carla's blood sucking noises made me want to take my headphones off and throw them away (sorry toshiyuki morikawa I respect you so much toshiyuki morikawa) soooooooooo.........I didn't like it. I grew to like Carla around CL so don't be sad if you like him, ok? He's my friend now, but this route is still just unpleasant to me hgfghsdf

Shin: I know I said I hated the forced pregnancy talk and the demon racism plans and I did hate them, believe me, but Shin's route was successful in getting me to like him. I love that they put him in jail and beat the shit out of him, that was such a good scene and I really feel like my tastes are finally being represented lmao. Because it's his introductory route, he's pretty rough around the edges (true for every diaboy—everyone is a huge jerk in their introductory route) but there was still a lot to enjoy! The flashback scenes were fun (dare I say...he was...cute?!) and when put together with Carla's, the Tsukinamis have a super interesting story & dynamic together, and it fits the themes of dialovers really well. The differences with Carla's route, to me at least, are that Shin's scenes feel more like "playing with a diaboy" even when he gets mean, Shin has the added appeal of being teasable and of being a BIG FLUFFY DOG, and of course, Shin's blood sucking scenes didn't make me want to die. I'm clearly in the minority here, though, because Shin is at the bottom of every popularity poll I see lol...Anyway, it didn't make me LOSE MY SHIT like some other routes did, but I had fun playing this one!!

[ashxketchum]

Taiora - Hugging them from behind.

Is it ok to ask for Sora to be the one hugging Taichi?

+ smirking in a way that suggests more requested by @xnananko

Thank you for the request Anon, and for letting me know that you wanted Sora to be the one to initiate the hug. Though I'll be honest, when I first saw the notification of the ask, I could only read the first part and I'd already decided that Sora would be the one hugging so I'm glad our thoughts matched up 💖

This fic is set in a post adventure canon divergent au aka no 02/tri/kizuna/epilogue etc 😌

Hope you guys like reading it, posting something Taiora related after 7 months 😅

🧡~~❤️

Taichi would be lying to himself if he said that he had remembered Sora’s birthday correctly.

In fact, in the week leading up to it, he kept thinking he was forgetting something important but couldn’t put a finger on it. Until he arrived at school that morning and passed by Sora’s classroom, almost doing a double take noticing the crowd that had gathered inside. He’d always known that she was the kind of girl who made friends with people easily, but it was when he saw seniors and juniors alike handing her little packages and wishing her enthusiastically did Taichi realise, that maybe he didn’t know Sora all that well after all. He’d quickly made his way back to his own classroom, a little grateful that they weren’t in the same class this year and he could take this time to think about how he was going to make it up to her.

A distant memory of a failed gift from his childhood appeared in Taichi’s mind, how when he’d assumed what was better for Sora without asking her how she felt, it left her feeling upset with him during a crucial Digimon attack. He reminded himself to not make a mistake like that again, lest a wormhole opened up above their school and dropped more evil Digimon which Sora might refuse to fight against together with him.

All jokes aside, Taichi knew that he had to act and act fast. He texted Koushiro casually, asking him if he’d gotten anything for Sora at school, trying to make it seem like that he just wanted to check whether it was better to hand over the gift later, outside of school. His friend replied almost instantly, stating that he’d handed his gift to the birthday girl right at the school entrance this morning. Taichi tried his best not to curse under his breath, he’d seen a glimpse of Mimi’s pastel hair in Sora’s classroom, so he knew there was no point in asking the chirpy brunette. So as a last resort, he turned in his seat and came face to face with his best friend.

“You forgot Sora’s birthday,” Yamato muttered dryly, not looking up from the book he was reading, as if this conversation didn’t deserve that honour.

“Yeah.” Taichi accepted his fault, knowing that there was no point in trying to hide the truth from someone as observant as Yamato.

“And?” Yamato turned the page of the book he was reading and still did not seem as invested enough in this problem as Taichi would like him to be.

“Did you get her anything?”

“I’m dating her best friend, Taichi, so of course we got her a gift. As a matter of fact, we handed it over to her yesterday itself.” Yamato stated this as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and it was Taichi’s fault that he hadn’t figured it out yet.

“And you didn’t think of reminding me?” Taichi asked, exasperated by his best friend’s cold behaviour.

“What am I? Your assistant?”

“No, I’d like to think you’re my best friend, but apparently not.” Taichi gritted his teeth and turned away from Yamato, letting his head drop on his desk with a loud thud that scared some of his classmates seated around him.

“Just go to the convenience store during lunch and buy her some chocolates.” Yamato offered in a much softer tone than before, maybe the best friend comment seemed to get to him.

“It’s Sora! I can’t just buy her cheap chocolates for her birthday.”

As much as he wanted to hide his guilt and frustration with himself, it was hard to keep the emotions in when he felt so helpless. With his current track record of gifting stupid stuff to Sora, he wanted to make sure that this time around he’d get her something she would truly like. Of course, to do that he should’ve strived to remember her birthday correctly in the first place. However, Taichi still felt that if he had time on his side, he could make up for this blunder and walk up to Sora with the perfect gift in his hand. Maybe Yamato had figured his intentions out too, because he heard his friend sigh loudly behind him.

“I’ll help you in avoiding her today,” Yamato said.“Just make sure you go buy a gift after school and hand it over to her in the evening.”

“You’d do that for me?” Taichi raised his head and looked at Yamato with shining eyes.

“Yes. I am your best friend right?” Yamato smirked as he turned his attention back to his book.

It seemed that Yamato and Mimi were addicted to texting each other in between classes, which is how his best friend was able to figure out Sora’s schedule for the day, and that made hiding from her a very simple task for Taichi. He managed to keep his profile low the entire day, only stepping out from the comfort of his classroom when it was time for his afternoon soccer practice. But he wasn’t worried about getting caught then since most of the school would’ve emptied by the time his practice was over and Yamato had mentioned something about Sora making plans with Mimi for the evening.

And that’s why, as practice went on and Taichi completely immersed himself in the sport, he let his guard down, ruining all the effort he’d put into staying under the radar during school hours.

He stood gulping down water from his sipper at the edge of the soccer field. Their Coach had wrapped up practice with a few words of advice and while most of his teammates were heading back to the locker room, he considered if he should stay back for about thirty minutes to work on his weak points. He’d already figured out what he would buy for Sora, so he knew he wouldn’t take too much time in getting the gift to her, which should free up some extra time for soccer right now. The sun had only just begun to set and Taichi viewed the orange hue that had started to spread across the skyline with a hint of confusion.

Before he could reach a decision, however, he felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist.

Taichi felt his whole body tremble as a familiar and sweet, flowery scent reached him along with the warmth that spread across his back as someone pressed themselves against it. He was frozen to the spot and colour rushed into his cheeks when he looked down and noticed the slender arms that now rested comfortably around his waist. The dimmed rays of sunlight made the beige coloured skin shine like bronze, making his fingers twitch with an ache to trace his name slowly across her arm.

“Gotcha!” A soft giggle reached his ears as he felt a chin rest upon his shoulder.

Taichi tried his best to not jump as an electric sensation ran across his body through his ears, the part where Sora’s breath had tickled against his skin still buzzing. His heart began to beat fast when the fact that Sora’s chest was now touching his back registered in his panic stricken mind.

Deep down he didn’t mind the proximity, especially when Sora had been the one to initiate it.

He was used to letting his hand brush past hers or bumping his shoulder with hers when they walked side by side. He didn’t try to hold himself back when he sat next to her, letting his knee rest by hers, letting his head fall onto her shoulder for a quick nap. He never hesitated to take her hand into his own when they walked through crowded streets or ran to get to school on time. However, Sora had never done anything like this before, sure she played along with him when he tried it, but in those few moments when he expected this of her, she’d shy away by averting her gaze or moving further apart.

Something about today must really be different for Sora to suddenly hug him from behind like this.

With all the willpower he could muster, Taichi pried her hands away from his body carefully and took a few step forwards, so he could turn around and face her with a nervous smile.

“Happy Birthday.”

“Thank you.” She returned his smile in full, cherry eyes filled with excitement as she looked at him.

“You’re quite the popular girl today, huh?” Taichi joked, an attempt to hide the anxiousness of being caught before he had the time to get her a gift.

“Is that why you didn’t come to see me all day today?” Sora folded her arms across her chest, tilting her head as she passed him a confused look.

“Yeah.” He lied, swallowing the nervous gulp in his throat with great difficulty, “Almost couldn’t find you, what with your ladies in waiting forming a wall around you.”

Sora narrowed her eyes at him, he could see the gears in her mind turning as she dissected his words and behaviour. He squirmed under her gaze, finding it difficult to hold his ground, he looked up at the sky instead and started to whistle in a low tune. If Sora hadn’t figured out he was trying to hide something from her till now, he knew that this would’ve definitely given him away. As expected, in the next moment she shook her head and sighed tiredly.

“You forgot it was my birthday today, didn’t you?”

“No, I did not! I totally remembered, you just looked so busy-”

“Oh, Taichi please don’t lie to me today.” She interrupted him with a raised hand and he hated how disappointed she sounded. This was the exact opposite of how he’d expected their conversation to go once he finally decided to face her today.

“Just admit that you forgot, I won’t be mad at you,” Sora said, letting her hands drop to her side so she could fidget with the hem of her uniform skirt.

“I didn’t forget.” Taichi reasserted, though he had no idea from where he was getting the guts to lie so confidently. “I...I even- I even prepared an amazing gift for you.”

Since he’d already dug a hole for himself with the first lie, Taichi decided that he might as well dig a little deeper. Looking at the sudden spark of interest that spread across Sora’s face, he felt more motivated to keep going with the plan he’d just come up with a few seconds ago, despite how utterly crazy and reckless it was.

“Really?” She asked him, eyes wide with hope as she stared at him.

“Yeah. I spent a lot of time thinking about what I should get you this year.” Taichi cleared his throat and took a step forward, reducing the distance between them slightly, “But nothing I saw seemed like the perfect gift that I know you deserve, so I came up with something else. Something...something I couldn’t have given you in front of everyone else.”

The sun had pretty much disappeared against the tall skyscrapers of Tokyo, which left the sky drenched in deep shades of purples and oranges. The violet hues danced off of Sora’s auburn hair, surrounding her with a reddish glow that made it hard for Taichi to look away from. Her bright eyes were fixed on him, anticipation bubbling through them as a pink tint spread across her cheeks. What he was about to do next scared him slightly, but looking at her right now, when she was surrounded by a mesmerising radiance that beckoned Taichi to come closer, he knew that he was taking the right step.

This might not be the gift he’d originally thought of, but it was still a perfect gift nonetheless.

With that thought, Taichi took another step forward to close the distance between them.

He cupped Sora’s chin in his hand and tilted her face upwards, pressing his lips to hers gently. He smiled against her lips when he felt both her hands clutch onto his t-shirt as he leaned deeper into the kiss. A soft moan reached his ears when he used his tongue to caress her lips, tasting her orange-flavoured lip balm. He raised his other hand and traced his fingers across her cheek, feeling her soft skin at his fingertips just so he could remind himself that this wasn’t a dream, but he really was standing on the school soccer field and kissing Sora.

The thought jolted awake his rational side and Taichi pulled away from the kiss abruptly, darting his head around to check if they were being watched. He sighed with relief when he noticed that the lights were out in the school building and the field was completely deserted as well. When he turned his attention back to Sora, he saw that she was still clinging to his chest as pouted up at him.

“So..uh..yeah, happy birthday,” Taichi murmured as he avoided looking at her eyes, feeling the repercussion of his bold move flood to his cheeks in the form of a hot flush.

“Hm. I wouldn’t consider it a happy birthday yet,” Sora said as her lips curved upwards and she let her gaze drop to his lips.

“Uh, I don’t understand-”

“Come on, Taichi,” Sora smirked at him as she stood on her toes so she could lean closer towards him. A mischievous glint danced across her dark, rosy eyes as her smile and low tone suggested more than what her innocent words let on, “You can still give me a better gift than that, right?”

Taichi held his breath for a moment, waiting to see if Sora would laugh and push him away, claiming that she was just joking. But when her eyes stayed fixed on his face and her hands continued to hold onto his chest tightly, he allowed himself to grin as he snaked one arm around her waist and pulled her closer to him.

“The birthday girl’s wish is my command.”

🧡~~❤️

[differentnotless89]

The things I never thought I'd ever get to say.

I've been wanting to write you and actually send it for so many years. For many years, I would write but never with the intention of actually sending it to you. I contemplated sending you a letter maybe a year ago or two, but I chose not to. I wasn't ready and I still can't say I'm ready now. But, I'm as ready as I'll ever be. I always knew I'd send you a letter because I obviously don't like to leave things unsaid. I just have a lot of things to tell you, so much that it hurts. It's been hard for me to write you and not write in anger and pain. But I have to send it to you as part of my own healing, even if you don't care to read it entirely or at all. I would hope that you would read this, but that isn't necessary. I wish we could discuss all of this without any limitations and without violently attacking each other. I know that'll never happen, but it's okay.

I promise I will not curse at you. I'm trying to just express how I genuinely feel without being clouded by my anger like I would before. But I will be as honest as I can be throughout this letter, and I don't think you're really going to like (or care) about anything I have to say.

This is my 3rd attempt at writing you this long ass letter since 8PM last night. I got maybe 4 hours of sleep early this morning. I have to write and send this to you even if you don't read it. I have to even if you can't or don't want to empathize or understand my feelings. Look at me assuming that you will even care about what I have to say. You probably don't, but this is more about me and my own personal healing like I said above. I have to heal from this and I will to the best of my ability. I owe this to myself and my children.

I am kinda sorry for this long ass letter, but at the same time I am not. I deserve to be heard. It's honestly the main thing I ever wanted from you. When I would write to you, sometimes I couldn't even manage to form a sentence, so the fact that I've been able to write this much tonight without cursing or letting my anger and pain get the best of me is an achievement. I have so much to say to you and you know that I can write for hours, as I'm a writer. I think I'll never run out of things I want to say to you. I could write a book, and who knows, maybe I will one day. I will do my best to tell you all that I feel is necessary to tell you tonight. It probably will be too much, but that is who I am. I am very expressive and I don't keep things to myself. I used to hate this about me, but I've started to love myself as I am, because someone has to.

I do want you to know that I love you and I always will. I will never ever forget all of the good times we spent together. I will always cherish the good memories and hold onto them for as long as I can. I will always remember songs like, "Man! I feel like a woman! that you'd listen to and all of your cute quirks. I always looked up to you since I can remember and from what I remember, I clung onto you especially against my mom. I was always so angry towards mom and I wish I knew why. I'm sure my body/brain remembers, but I don't. I wish I could understand a lot of things. One of them being why it sometimes felt like you hated me. I knew if I said this to you in person, you'd mock me and dismiss me. You've always dismissed how I felt and made me out to be this dramatic and ridiculous person as if my feelings and thoughts didn't matter. I was shamed for touching on subjects that made you uncomfortable. It was as if I wasn't allowed to feel differently than you. I understand that you were never given a safe space to truly express yourself and so you've shut others because it was done to you. I don't know, but that's my theory.

Anytime I tried to express my discomfort or opinions, you would make it seem like I was just trying to find an issue where there was none. You would call me a "rebel without cause". Like you knew I had a cause but you didn't care. You may not have known all that I went through, but you knew enough. I remember when I was 13, I wrote you on a notebook. It was filled with lots of pages and I told you a lot of what I went through. However, I don't think I ever gave them to you because I realized you'd use it against me somehow. I'm glad that I didn't to this day because I don't think it would've mattered. You would've blamed me for running away and seeking it out. It didn't matter to you that I was 12 and had a mind of a child. My brain wasn't even properly formed but I was set to these standards that I should've known better. Sex was all I knew since I was very little and you know this better than anyone. I never got therapy. It wasn't normal, but it was MY normal. You're going to "Boo-hoo" this, too?

I've been trying to live differently than what I've always known and I know that it's something a lot of people look down upon. I know my way of thinking was always seen as bizarre, different, what have you. I can't stop but to think what your response to this would be. Anytime I'd try to communicate with you, you would get so defensive. I know for sure you'd deny it, but deep down you know it's the truth. I may have been the sister you always wish you had (I'm sorry you didn't have a chance to grow up with a sister), but you never actually loved me for who I was. I think you did try. I will always feel bad for how I made you feel on my 15th birthday. You got me some gifts that were important to you to show me that you loved me. However, I was disappointed because I had believed Josh when he said you had gotten me the Eddie Guerrero book. I'm sorry for making you feel like I didn't care and I will always appreciate all the things you did for me, all the things you bought me, the clothes, food, etc. I will never forget that one time you let me ditch school and we went to watch a movie. Then we went to Costco, got some drinks and our own box of pizza. You have no idea how much that meant to me and I will hold that memory very close to my heart.

While I do regret moving in with you, I will always appreciate you not charging me any rent for awhile and then just $50. I'm sorry that I complained about it. I should've been more appreciative and I understand now that I also wasn't easy to live with. You did a lot of things for me that you didn't have to do, and I would like to believe that you did it because you cared or because you "do for family". For the years that I lived with you (19-24), I struggled a lot. I didn't take care of my health, let alone my mental health. I never got the chance to actually work through the things that I had experienced up to that point because as soon as I turned 18, I became a mother. I wish I had taken a leap, gotten a job and tried to be more independent. I truly had no idea what I was doing and I didn't think it was possible I could ever make it on my own. I truly took to heart when you told me that my life was over the moment I had Hailey and I didn't know how to navigate past that.

My life wasn't over then and it still isn't now. I still have a lot more to do and experience. I won't feel ashamed for having a life outside being a mother. The only difference is that I don't bring men home and anything I do in my personal life, I do it without my kids being impacted by it. I do think it's a bit funny how you would say that I couldn't handle having one kid, let alone two. When you would say that (And even Rb repeated that to me), it would hurt my feelings but I believed you. I already felt like I wasn't capable of much and I was so used to feeling that way (I have always felt that way since I was a kid) so I truly believed you when you would tell me that. I knew I wanted more for me and Hailey, but I didn't think I had it in me. Funny enough, I've been raising my kids all on my own, paying my own bills, etc. I even paid off my vehicle, my dream van, my Honda Odyssey. I've traveled to Seattle, Oregon coast, and Disneyland (many times) and just recently to Arizona with my kids. And I did that all on my own. I even went to New York City TWICE!!!! I had to learn the hard way and had to fight to be where I am at. I couldn't be prouder of myself and my achievements.

I do want to believe that you loved parts of me and because I was your sister; but I believe wholeheartedly that you resented me and dare I say that you were jealous of me (This is genuinely not me claiming you should be jealous of me or in a egocentric kind of way). I have been trying to understand why you have always been so indirect, fake and judgmental towards me. I never understood what I did that was so wrong or why me being different was a threat to you. I wish you could take your time to understand why I feel this way. I still remember how you would gang up on me with mom when I was a kid. You would literally talk shit about and to me, lol. You would do it because you knew I was powerless and I would get in trouble if I said something. I also understand that I was not easy to deal with and I have always been very outspoken, that it would be interpreted as me intentionally being rude (although sometimes I intentionally was). It is what it is but I just didn't understand your behavior at that time. It felt like you were the enemy at times and it felt that you saw me as one, too. It was so confusing. I would be so confused because when I'd come over to your house, you would talk so much shit about mom (And with good reason, she really didn't make the best choices and she wasn't the best mom). When I was over at your house, you were my friend but then in other instances, you acted like you were my enemy. Maybe I was wrong, but it's how it felt to me at that time.

Prepare yourself because as you know, I'm a writer and a pretty good one. But this isn't about my writing skills... I promise none of this is ill intentioned. I don't want to hurt you. I don't want you to be in pain (I know you already are). This whole time that I've been writing to you, I have been worried about how you will feel and how you will react (That's if you even read any of it). I have always cared about your feelings. Sometimes more than my own. But for once, I trust myself and what I have to say. I refuse to believe that my thoughts and feelings have no substance, because it does. Your thoughts and feelings matter, too. I am open to reading and understanding you one day (pessimistic me doesn't believe that will ever happen though). I wish there was a way to know your true feelings about me and everything involving us for real. I do want to understand you and I do care about you even if you believe that I don't. I will always care about you even if you're not part of my life. Even though you have caused me so much hurt and pain, I love and wish you the best. I just wish I knew what your RAW feelings were.

I always tried to make you happy. It always felt like I had to also compete to be loved by you. I always competed with Yoanna for my mom's love and I hated that it felt the same way with you at times. You and Yoanna would be close at times and I would feel left out. I also know she is kinder and a lot easier to handle, even manipulate. She has always been the favorite one and she was manipulated into believing she had to obey in order to be good or there'd be dire consequences. I, of course never obeyed and I was never meant to be favored. I only ever wanted to be favored because I wanted to be loved. I know it's not your fault for how mom treated me, but honestly you favored and treated Yoanna better at times. I know we were taught that "skinny" meant better and prettier. Yoanna has always had it easy in that department and it made me resent her. I also know she wasn't as difficult as me so I would see why she was the favorite.

The funny thing is that I never stood a chance with mom and I'm assuming it's because of who my biological dad is, and obviously because I was fat. She always made comments about my weight since I was very little and you joined in too. There was never anything wrong with me. I wish I knew that my worth was not determined by how much I weighed and that the only person that could determine my worth was myself. I'm sure you could relate to that.

I will always wish you could've been the one to protect me. I also hate that you knew about my biological dad and you didn't tell me anything. I feel there's more that my mom never told me and that you're not telling me. I don't wish to know the dude (especially after what you said he did to you) but I wish I at least knew what he looked like, but most of all, I wish ya'll would've been completely honest with me. If there's ever a time to say how you completely feel, it is now. I don't care if you hurt my feelings. I don't care what it is, but I doubt you will.

Although you also favored Yoanna in many ways. I can understand why, too. I wasn't always easy to deal with. I would react angrily and say hurtful things. I strongly believe that sometimes people (children especially) that need the most love, act out in the most unloving ways. It's true for me. It's all I ever wanted and that was to be loved. It's okay if you preferred to be around her, but it's not okay how you handled it and how you treated me. You would also talk shit about Yoanna to me. It was almost as if you didn't know how to have a relationship without throwing someone else under the bus. I'm assuming it's what you grew up seeing and experiencing. I know I did. I mean, even before we stopped talking, you would talk shit about me to Yoanna all the time. You never said any of it to me of course. Your whole relationship with Yoanna then was founded on talking shit about me. That's how you two bonded. Pretty crazy, huh? You can deny it but it's the truth and it's why you and Yoanna rarely talk now. She got tired of being fake and talking shit about me. She called you out on it. I'm sure you know that I won't let you pick on her for this, but I know now that she's an adult and can stand up for herself. That's when ya'lls relationship started to fade away... Was it too much for you that she didn't want to continue to talk bad about me?

I mean, we all know that people are going to have opinions and there's a lot that I do that makes people talk. But it's toxic especially when it comes from your own "family".

I don't understand why you would talk shit about me to be honest. You even made comments about me going to Disneyland. Around that time, I had only taken my kids in 2019 but I guess it bothered you I had a whole trip coming up in 2020 (but then Covid happened). I mean the issue isn't that you talked shit about me going to Disneyland tbh. At the end of the day it's MY money I worked hard for and I have never gone in debt or not paid my bills to go to Disneyland (I've gone at least 5 more times since 2019 with my kids btw and most recently, this past May). I honestly think you have always been jealous of me and possibly jealous of Yoanna, too. Again, I don't mean this in an egocentric kind of way, but you yourself have admitted this to me. I know I got to (partially) grow up having a sister my age and you didn't. I can't even imagine not having grown up with Yoanna, a sister around. I know how important and valuable it is to have a sibling. But it wasn't my fault. It wasn't even mom's fault either to be honest. I bet it's probably why you talked a lot of shit about me with Yoanna. It's how you two bonded. When she stopped fucking with it, though... It's almost like there was nothing else to be said. As if you two couldn't have had a relationship without talking bad about me. I just don't get why you punished me for things that weren't my fault. At this point, it doesn't really matter anymore that you talked shit about me, or that you even favored Yoanna. But at one point it did matter to me, you know.

One moment that stands out to me is Christmas of 2008. You got Yoanna a zune and you gave me a $50 gift card. Of course, I was grateful but I was a last minute thought. You couldn't even put any thought into it. It felt like you only gave me a gift card because you had to. I realized then that you would always go above and beyond for Yoanna. I also realized how one Christmas, you didn't get anything for Yoanna as a way to punish her for wanting to move back to Albuquerque after you paid for her flight to Idaho. I hate that I also went along with it. I will never forget how bad I felt and how she must've felt. She didn't deserve that. That was manipulative and vindictive.

I should've never been put in a situation where I felt Yoanna was the enemy, but that's more of a letter for mom than you. I know you resent me for having Yoanna there growing up, and it's completely normal. Your feelings are valid and I wish you would've had that. Now imagine how I feel knowing you had more years with my mom. You got to see versions of my mom I never got to. It isn't your fault but neither was it my fault she had two more daughters after you grew up. I do want to say that I am super proud of Yoanna. I do think you should be reaching out more so you can build a relationship with her. She's truly doing amazing things and I'm super proud of her. She has stood firm on her boundaries and goals, and it honestly makes me feel so proud of her and you should be too. I do hope you make the effort to have a relationship with her. I know it's what she wants. She really is amazing and she is so patient especially with me. She knows how to deal with me when I go through my "episodes of delirium". She shouldn't have to, but she does. It's what I call those crazy moments, lol. I was diagnosed as bipolar. Shocker, huh? Lol. Honestly, it wasn't much of a surprise to me. It has definitely helped me understand many aspects about myself. I have wronged Yoanna in so many ways and I'm shocked that she still wants to have a relationship with me. I punished her for things that weren't exclusively her fault.

So here goes the tough parts....

I hope you can read this to understand and not read to respond. I know what I'm about to say isn't going to sit well with you. I'm sure you probably already know, but I know RB died. I've always known and I know you blocked the account I was using at that time because you were hurt and angry towards me. I don't blame you. I'm sure you will block me after this, too. I wanted to reach out when I learned that he died but I knew I was the last person you wanted to talk to and am I shocked you don't want to talk to me still to this date? Nah. But the feeling is mutual although I am writing this long ass letter to you. I was not happy to know he died, but I am happy to know that he can't hurt another child again. I know you don't want to read this and you probably won't. I won't even be surprised if you respond angrily, but I don't think you'll respond at all. I do feel bad that he never got the chance to get the help he needed. I feel bad you lost your son. I could never imagine, but I don't feel bad he's gone. I hate to say it, but it's my truth. I know you don't think he did it.... Well, you claim he didn't even though you actually don't know. I do, though. I remember being told I wanted him to have done it. That's ridiculous. I wish more than anything in this world that he didn't do it. I wish it with all of my heart.

Sadly, Hailey remembers. For so long she didn't, but it was almost a year ago when we were on our Disney trip that she told me what she remembered. It still gives me the same empty feeling in my throat. I hate that my daughter went through that. I hate that I stayed in your house for so long after that. I felt helpless tbh. I will always hate you for calling my daughter, (4 years old at the time) a liar. You truly had the audacity to call her a liar to her face. A 4 year old child instead of trying to investigate what truly happened. You really think a child (especially that young) would lie about something like that? You think she had malice in her heart and kids were just out to get him? Be real. You literally said that after Aedyn accused him 3 years later. So gross that even after another accusation, you still claimed that Rb didn't do it. You turned it into a guilt trip and said that he was feeling down and that he doesn't even want to be around kids now because he feared being accused of it. He shouldn't have been near children after that accusation, period. You are as guilty as he is and you are complicit to his actions. I didn't even think jail. I just wanted my daughter to be safe and for him to get help.

What's the most ironic part.... Do you remember that one time we were at Winco, remember? We were excited. We were going to prepare a lot of dinners and all. We then got a call that Josh wouldn't give Hailey back to Dulce or Oscar and that they called the cops. I truly hope that he didn't hurt my daughter, and at that time I didn't understand why Dulce did what she did. I also didn't understand why he was holding my daughter hostage. But now, I understand why. Dulce was protecting MY child because of what Josh did to her. I know that you know because I was there when she told you. I don't know if you two ever had a conversation about it, but it wouldn't surprise me if she kept it all to herself and never talked about it again. But I know that you did nothing about that either. I bet you're thinking that it isn't any of my business. Actually, yes it is. When it comes to sexual abuse, it is everyone's business. I will always be thankful for Dulce for being protective of Hailey and even me when I was pregnant with her. I'm sure you remember when Josh threatened to hit my pregnant stomach with a metal bar. He literally threatened to kill my daughter and you defended him. Had he done it, you would have blamed me and said I told him to. I was in shock that was even happening and I should've been more conscious instead of provoking him and daring him to. Again, I still wouldn't have been responsible for him had he killed my daughter. I'm glad that he didn't do it.

Anyways, I did appreciate you suggesting we take Hailey to see a doctor to ensure that Josh didn't hurt her. That actually meant a lot to me because I felt... Well, I thought that my daughter was safe with you and that you would do the right thing. I didn't understand why you'd do that. It never crossed my mind that Josh would ever hurt her even when he kept her hostage. I was naïve, I guess... or maybe I thought my family would never be capable of doing stuff like that. Why would I, you know? I never even considered the possibility of Josh doing any of that. I was so angry when I learned what he did to Dulce and if only you knew the things I now know. You probably do but you'd enable him regardless. It's because of moms like you that men think it's okay to abuse and hurt because they know they can and will get away with it. Men are responsible for their choices, but as women we enable them too much. We hold our daughters' to higher standards while babying our sons (and I'm guilty of this also).

Yet... when RB was accused, you immediately said it wasn't true and you made that your truth along with Dulce. You know now that I think of it... I actually believe you knew what Josh was capable of doing. I think it's why you suggested taking Hailey to the doctor. Am I wrong? I hope I am. I hate to think you could enable this behavior of your children...knowingly. But the truth is that you did. I was there when Dulce told you that Josh sexually abused her. I don't know if you two ever had a conversation about it again, but I wouldn't be surprised if it was not talked about again. I hope Dulce one day sees the truth for herself and finds her voice even if it upsets you. I hope she makes better choices than the both of us. I also wonder if you knew what he had done to Dulce. I'm not accusing you of that, but honestly I do wonder. I hope one day Josh gets what's coming for him. I hope karma is real. I know now what Josh is capable of and I know a lot more than you know. I also know you felt a lot of guilt with Josh... which is why you always gave in to whatever he wanted. I wonder why that truly was. You always favored him in a different way. I get that he's really good at pushing for what he wants, but you enabled him in such a way that's still shocking to me to this day.

I could go on forever about my thoughts on your parenting and enablement of your children. As parents, we are going to make mistakes. I know that. Fuck, I've made a lot of mistakes as a parent and I will have to live with that. I know you've mentioned being aware that you made a lot of mistakes and I want to say that it takes a lot of courage to admit that. But your decisions have affected others and it's caused so much trauma and hurt. While you couldn't have changed the past, I always wish you would've eventually done the right thing even if it was your son who was being accused. I wish you would've tried to mend your mistakes. Why haven't you?

I don't know where all this is going to lead or if I'm ever going to finish writing this letter. I could write a book and maybe one day I will. Maybe one day I will speak up and write about all the things I need to say. I haven't told anyone that, but that's something I feel in my heart I should do. I will never not talk about my experiences and I will not let my daughter's story be thrown under the rug like mine was. She didn't do anything wrong and has nothing to be ashamed of. Your sons and you are the ones who should be ashamed.

I do want to say that I really cared about your kids. Part of me is sad that Rb is dead. He was my nephew and I saw him grow up. I loved him and I would pretend he was my son when I was a kid. I loved him with all of my heart. I loved all of your kids, but he was very special to me. I relate the most with Dulce and Josh was like a like a little brother to me. Linda was like my little sister and I still love her to this date and I still love Dulce. I don't, however, love Josh or Rb. I will always have this care for Rb and Josh. I still feel hope for Josh to get the help that he needs. I always had a soft spot for him, and I also enabled him as much as you did. I remember how upset you two were when I wouldn't contribute $50 to his shoe fund when he was locked up. I'm still so proud of myself for saying no. I didn't feel like he should be rewarded when he had caused so much pain, turmoil and he was constantly stealing from all of us. It's fucking crazy how paranoid I still am about having cash because of him. You always allowed him to though and he knew he could do whatever he wanted to do. He was physically abusive towards me and others. He's still to this date an abuser and you know this very well. When I said that he was just like his dad, I meant it. And I still do. I am so glad that Shawna and Hannah got away from him. I'm hoping Hannah has managed to stay away and I hope her and her kids are happy. Shawna is my person, my best friend and I am so glad she managed to get away from Josh. I will never forget how Josh treated her and to this day, I am still the only one that ever stood up for her against him. I remember when you tried to say she was keeping the kids from Josh. Bullshit. He was never a good dad and I'm so glad that he's at least not caused them as much trauma although he already has. And this is my words, not Shawna's before you try to pick on her. She doesn't even know I'm writing you this message.

I remember that one time that he said he was going to slap me and I said "Slap me" (More as a dare because I was shocked he even said he would slap me. This was before I was even pregnant) and he did. I immediately went to you so you would do something and you enabled him. You said that I told him to. That makes it okay, apparently. So while Josh is definitely responsible for his actions... You enabled a lot of his behavior. By doing that, you told him that it was okay to put his hands on someone else. You taught him that it's okay to steal, smoke and disrespect women. You enabled his deadbeat ass behavior. He was raised to believe he can say and do whatever he wanted, and he knew it. For so long, you blamed his behavior on me. I was so confused why you did and while I wasn't always the best example, I was still a kid when you started blaming me.

I'm sure I did influence Josh in many ways, but in no way was I ever responsible for his behavior or actions. You even said Rb behaved the way he did because of me. It's wild behavior that you would even blame me instead of taking accountability. I know Josh had been acting up since he was a kid and I remember when he was 7 and he was like stripping in a sexual manner. I was like 12 years old and I thought it was funny at that time. To me, that was normal. It was my normal that I didn't even realize that was a red flag in itself. While it could potentially be normal kid behavior... Maybe he saw it on TV. I believe he was sexually abused and I believe Rb was too. I believe all of your kids were and I think you've known this. I remember the one time Linda wouldn't come home and she said that her dad raped her. You even called her a liar. I think you were more worried about what people would think of you tbh. I will always wonder what went wrong and what is that happened. Whatever it is, I know it's bad and I know you just acted like it didn't happen. No one got help for anything and it's why things happened the way it did. There were probably no resources or maybe you didn't know what to do. But you could've done something but you did nothing at all.

I do believe you cared about your kids and I always admired your love and dedication to them. I just wish you would've gotten help for yourself and your kids. I wish you would've left that man the moment he showed you his first red flag. But I know you were in an abusive relationship and I know how hard it is to get out of one. You know what I went through with LP and while in my case, it wasn't that severe... I know what it's like to love someone who isn't good for you. I bet you probably feel a lot of guilt. A lot of what you went through is what motivated me to do better and make different choices. As a kid, I never understood how you could've stayed with such an evil man. I knew the evil things he did because mom told me and you told me some things as well. I'm sure there's a lot you haven't told others and that is your story to tell and you will when and if you're ever ready.

I never saw that evil side of him. I never met that dangerous side of him or maybe I did, and I don't remember. There's a lot that he did to me that I never told anyone until most recently. I don't plan on going into too many details, but he was never mean or violent towards me. He was kind and gentle. He made me feel cared about. I still remember when he had me put my shorts down and he touched me. The next thing I remember, he had me lay my head on his leg and he would caress my cheeks. I don't really remember what happened between the time he had me put my shorts down to when he was caressing my cheeks but he did a lot of things to me. I don't know why we were alone all the time. I don't want to talk too much about that he did to me with you. My point is that I remember some of the things he did to me. I remember him as someone who was gentle and kind towards me. He made me feel safe and he was probably the first man to have ever touched me (who fucking knows if I was touched before him). But I know of course that he is sick, an abuser and not a good person.

So I'm gonna say it. I think you knew the whole time. I think you had your suspicions, but when I told my mom what he had done, you didn't seem shocked. Of course, I don't know how you felt or what the truth is. But you knew he would be capable of doing it, yet you didn't believe me. Maybe you didn't want to believe it. Maybe you were blinded by love. I don't see how love could be more important than the safety of a child, but meh. I still remember clearly when you told my mom, "He said he didn't do it but you can call the cops if you want to". She should've. You should've. I should've been protected. I remember crying when you said that and I felt like I should've not said anything. I remember crying anytime I saw him after that, and being mad when he got near Yoanna. I wanted to protect her from him. It was my immediate instinct and I was a child. Why wasn't it yours? Did you know what he had done to me? Did you see it happen? Why didn't you believe me? Did you feel jealous of me? Did you blame me for what he did? Do you think I provoked him/it... What is it? I wish you would tell me. Now I'm not blaming you for what he did to me, but I am. I'm also blaming my mom. Why was I left alone with him so many times?

That night when he had me pull my shorts down, we were in the bedroom. And I am almost sure all of you were in the living room. I remember hearing voices. I just don't understand. While I don't feel anymore anger towards him for what he did to me (I am angry for what he did to you and your children, and others), I have so many questions that I know will be left unanswered. But there's nothing wrong with me wanting answers. Maybe you don't even have them or maybe you do and you'll probably take it with you to your grave. I know there's a lot of things you have remained quiet about. You didn't even believe or do anything when I spoke up about what he did to me. I don't know why I thought it would be any different for my daughter. I guess I wanted to believe that you truly cared about me and that my "family" would never be capable of such things. But I digress.

I wish you would open up and tell me what it is that you know, what it is that happened that led to all this. I wish I could believe you never had ill intentions and that you genuinely cared about me and my daughter. I remember when we had that big fight and you got upset that I posted about what RB did online. I was so mad that Dulce caught on that it was me, but honestly I'm glad that she did now. You gave me so much shit about speaking up and not letting things go. You tried to silence me. I know it's how it worked in our family. Bad things happen and we move on. We don't talk about it. I learned that at a very young age after I spoke up about what your husband did. It's why it took me so long to speak up about when Ivan raped me. Sex and shame is all I have known since I was a child. And I'm sure it was a continuous cycle but enough is enough. These things should not be kept privately. I didn't do anything wrong and there's nothing that I could've done to have deserved to be raped and used as a sex doll my whole life.

During and after Ivan would rape me, I already knew it was something I had to keep to myself. In the beginning, I even told you that he would have me massage him and you did ask if it ever led to anything else. I, of course said it didn't but I still wonder to this day why was it okay that a 10 year old was being asked to massage a 17 year old? Why wasn't that an immediate red flag? Why was it totally fine? I just don't get it. Now I did tell my mom that Ivan raped me and of course she immediately told me to not joke around like that. Neither of you ever believed me, or maybe ya'll didn't care. I can go on and on about this, but this is a letter for my mom I will have to write one day.

Do you not see this toxic pattern? Our mom's parents failed her, she failed us, you failed your kids, you failed us... When is enough, enough? I failed my kids too many times and I'm trying so hard to make different choices and break the cycle even if it's just a little bit. You had the chance to break the cycle but you refused to. Why? Imagine if you had. While this is just me speaking on my feelings, I understand nothing can be done now and I'm not really dwelling on it, but it's still something that needs to be talked about.

I mattered as much as you and everyone else. I was never put in therapy. I was taught that these things happen and it was normal. My whole world changed but like I said above, I believe other things happened that I just don't remember but my subconscious does. You know, Oscar also made a lot of mistakes, but the difference is that he apologized for it to me. I will always appreciate him, especially when the detective wanted Rb to take a lie detector test. He volunteered and suggested he take it as he did spend time alone with my daughter. This has me tearing up because Oscar could be a lot of things, but he was willing to do right by my daughter and you couldn't. You couldn't because you feared the results. I can go on and on about how you wronged my daughter and many of us, but it won't change a thing. But it needed to be said.

I promise you that I will not remain quiet about this and I will always speak up and share my story/experiences. I refuse to be like you and I will not shove things under the rug. I will not enable my children the way you enabled yours and I will get them help if/when they need it. I want to make better choices than you and mom. I want to make better choices than I made before. I am also guilty of a lot wrongdoings. I know everything above seems like I'm just blaming you, but you do hold responsibility. I wish you would acknowledge it though and I wish you would be genuinely apologetic even if it doesn't change anything.

I wish you would read this and actually care about what I have to say, about my feelings and thoughts. I wish you would apologize and admit your mistakes. My mom tried to apologize to me and while I appreciate that, she didn't apologize until she knew she was going to die. Regardless, she did apologize to me. I also caused her a lot of harm. I was angry with her. To be honest, I don't understand why I had always been angry towards her. Since I was very little, I was angry and hurt by her. I don't know why. I know that I clung to you even as a child, as an adult, and especially as a mother. I loved you so damn much. I still do and I will always love you. For so long I prayed and wished you were my mom. You remember me telling you that I wish you'd admit that you put me up for adoption. I loved you so much. Why couldn't you? I'm sure there were parts of you that cared about me. I know this and I have a lot to be thankful for. I am thankful to you for a lot of things. While I do feel anger, resentment, and sadness. I did learn a lot from you. All above is what I've learned, but I also learned good things about you.

I will forever feel guilty for moving in with you because had I not, I could've prevented Hailey being sexually abused by your son. It's not like I knew it would happen of course. I wish I would've left as soon as she accused him. It's why I left to Albuquerque and then to San Diego.... Why I clung to LP. He made me feel loved and safe. I thought we could be a family, you know? I can say a lot of things about that man but one thing I'm certain about is that he never sexually abused my kids and it's something I genuinely do not believe he ever would do. If he had, I would have reported it right away though. I wouldn't have stayed and I am 100% certain about this.

I know writing this letter won't change anything. It may seem that I'm just dwelling on the past. It's not the "past". It's my life. It's my daughter's, etc. Writing all this to you has me physically and emotionally drained. But all this needs to be said. No, I'm not done yet. I have to come clean about absolutely everything.

I will say that I was also a very shitty person, too. I was very shitty towards my mom. I would have Hailey go up to her and hit her. I was teaching her it was okay to hit. Fortunately, Hailey has grown up to be such an amazing young lady. She thinks for herself, she's as outspoken as I am and guess what? She has the safe space to do so. I'm working hard to be able to be there for her and be more emotionally available. I would steal money from my mom all the time and I'd justify it by thinking of all the ways she wronged me and all the things she allowed. I think we all blamed mom for everything. I know ya'll put your dad on a pedestal while blamed mom for everything. I can only imagine how my mom felt when she knew that I got that strangers' name tattooed on my wrist. I'm mortified I even did that, but I did it for you.

Anyways, I was and can be a shitty person sometimes. I hurt my mom. I even slapped her one time to defend you. I should've never put my hands on her. I even lied and said she wanted to prostitute me or some shit. That's not true. I lied and it was wrong of me to have made such accusation. I was just trying to paint her in a bad light. While my mom wronged us in many ways, we wronged her too. She didn't always deserve to be treated the way we treated her. To be honest, the only good daughter she genuinely had was Yoanna. I didn't see it at that time, but Yoanna deserved every good thing my mom did for her. I'm glad Yoanna felt loved by mom. At least one of us did.

My mom also deserved better from all of us. We were selfish, arrogant and entitled. I was definitely very entitled and so were you. She saved all of us (probably except Yoanna) financially and we felt she owed it to us.

I fought so hard to deny any connection I had to my mom for so long. I will say that I know that I look like my mom and I smile now when I find little things I do/say that mom would have done/said. I am like my mom in many ways and I'm happy that I was her daughter. I have forgiven her, but I will not pretend she didn't cause me any pain. My mom clearly had her faults, and she chose a man over her kids, etc. But she was an inspiration at the same time. She took care of her kids all on her own, in a country she wasn't native to and had to figure out how to make it all on her own. She was creative, artistic and may I say an amazing cook. She was a clean freak and she tried many times to be there for me, but I could never forgive her. She had a strong personality and so do I. She was always good at saving money and it's her who taught me a lot of what I know. You also taught me a lot. You taught me how to make my bomb Mexican rice I make. You were like a mom to me and it's sad that we don't have a relationship. It's sad that this is how things turned out to be. What's sadder is that other children have suffered.

I don't think I'll ever completely heal from all that I endured and it's okay. I've endured a lot more than you'll ever know. For the first time in my life, I am actually okay with all that I've been through. I am more open now about what I have experienced and I know it makes people uncomfortable because we've all been trained to keep our "dirty laundry" to ourselves. I was the one that had to learn how to stand up for myself all on my own. I was the one that stood up for Yoanna and I am the one that tried to stand up for Dulce. I should've done more to be honest. I'm not saying this because I deserve a thank you, but because I'm proud that I eventually spoke up, even if it was a little too late.

I know that I wasn't always a good mom. I wasn't. I made tons of mistakes and I will have to forever live with that. I have, however, fought hard to make the necessary changes and I still have a lot to work on. However, I will ensure to hold them accountable when needed and to raise them to be good human beings and empathetic. I guarantee that I will die trying so my kids never get treated how I was treated and never experience even half of what I went through. My kids will never have to lay down at night and wonder why their mom didn't love them or why she didn't protect them. My promise to you is that I will learn from your mistakes as well as my own and continue to strive to do better.

I have worked so hard be unapologetic and be true to who I am. I'm learning about something called "boundaries" and I really do struggle a lot with my mental health. I also have a lot of health issues as well, but I'm glad that I finally started going to the doctor 4 years ago. I lost a whole bunch of weight, but I've gained it back. I'm not afraid to go out in a crop top and shorts. I'm no longer hiding who I am or hiding my body. You know, I'm an attention whore. I do have a condition that makes me gain weight. I also have a brain condition that can kill me if I don't take care of myself. I learned this a few days before I almost died from pneumonia in 2021. That's when so much changed for me to be honest. While I have gained a lot of my weight back, my confidence is still growing. I am no longer just the fat friend and while I will always have to make a lot of noise to be heard, I'm no longer afraid of being myself. I'm no longer ashamed. I'm not afraid to stand up for what's right even if I'm standing there alone. I will always advocate for myself and others, because I know what it's like to not have anyone advocate for me. I had to be my own advocate for so long and it's what built me into who I am. I can give you a whole story on this, but honestly doubt you're gonna read this far or at all, so I'm just rambling. I'm trying to say everything that I wish I could have conversations with you about. I think I'm also having a hard time saying goodbye to you which is why I keep talking. I always loved talking to you and I know we probably won't again.

Moving back to Idaho in 2017 is the best thing I ever did. It's where most of my growth happened. I met tons of people, lost a lot of people and I have a whole village in Idaho still. I have friends there who are literally my family. Even then, I still chose to move to Arizona. It's definitely been a rollercoaster since moving here with a lot of challenges. I had to have surgery to get my gallbladder removed. That was not fun in the slightest.

If there's a next time a child---someone, anyone...tells you they've been sexually abused, believe them. Don't call them a liar. It doesn't matter who was accused and it shouldn't be dependent on that whether or not you believe them. You should've done the right thing and tried to get to the bottom of it. I will never forgive you for that and if I ever do, it won't be for you. I will have to figure out how to forgive someone who will never apologize. Ultimately, who you should be apologizing to is my daughter and Aedyn. They didn't deserve to go through what they did. Neither of us did. I will always feel bad for being dismissive of Dulce when she was "acting out". I should've recognized the signs, but I'm thankful she trusted me enough to tell me what happened to her. I will always miss and love her no matter what.

If I die before you, I beg you to never reach out to my kids unless it is to apologize. I don't even want you speaking to them, but it would be ultimately up to them to decide. I would hope you would apologize and never talk to them again. You've missed out so much on the lives of my kids and it's sad you chose to protect abusers instead. You would see what amazing kids they are and how I've been able to provide a different life than what you and I are used to. My kids deserve to be surrounded by people that would believe them and protect them. I'm sad you couldn't be that person.

I can't say I don't hate you because I do, but I don't want you to suffer. I do want to thank you for pushing me to go to college and I'm sad that I didn't take it seriously. I wish I would've. I did learn a lot though and I feel that we both got to bond with one another. I'll never forget the good moments like I mentioned above.

I'm sorry that you couldn't make better choices. Let's hope that I can and that it gets better from here. I guess this is goodbye and tbh I am having such a hard time saying goodbye to you. I will always love and miss you. I hope that if you ever get another opportunity, you make different choices. You also deserved so much more than what was given to you. I'm sorry that you hate me, but I will always stand firm on my boundaries. My daughter comes first as she should. My kids come first. I don't know if I will cover up your tattoo or just get it removed. You were definitely very special to me and I'm sad that we aren't close and part of each other's lives. I'm glad I have Yoanna and that my kids have her, but you should also be included. If you had gotten Rb the help he needed (as well as Josh), a lot could've been prevented. It's okay to hold the people you love accountable.

I really don't think I'll ever be ready to say goodbye to you. I just want to tell you as many times as I can that I love you and that I miss you. I hope you know that I mean this with all that I have. I still have the picture frame hung up with you, mom, Oscar and me. You'll always be part of my memories and I will never forget you. I will always love you. I hope you know that I think about you often. I hope to be able to make my mom proud, but especially my children. They love me so much and I always fear that they won't one day. But it is a disservice to them if I enable them and continue the toxic cycle we were born into.

I love you, Bibi.

Take care of yourself,

Yvette.

0 notes

[cassiopeiawritespoetry]

messages

i knew i shouldn't

but i looked through our old messages tonight

i just wanted to remember the good times

when things made sense

and i knew what we were to each other

but somehow i ended up crying again

\\

looking back, i remembered so much

the conversations we had

when we first started talking

just casual

but always so sweet and loving and caring

that's how i fell for you without even knowing

\\

i didn't save it

but i remembered our first real conversation too

i was having a panic attack

and couldn't calm myself

then you messaged and a few minutes later

everything was okay and i felt safe again

maybe that's when i knew

that you were everything i ever dreamed of

and more besides

\\

god, i remember the start of the pet names

and how surprised i was

that i liked hearing them from you

my favourite will always be honeybee

...i still wish i actually got to hear you call me that

\\

and then the messages where you told me

you loved me as more than a friend

i had no idea you'd say that

i just wanted you to be okay

and even though the messages said

what i'd dreamed of hearing for the last year

i almost didn't care

i was just happy you felt safe with me too

and still wanted to spend time with me

after everything we'd been through

\\

there are so many other messages i loved

all the things you said you wanted with me

that i realized were all i'd ever wanted

but never had a reason to consider

the gifs that made made me smile

and wish i could hold you

the audios that still calm me on my darkest days

and the "i love you so much" kermit meme

that i've kept in my downloads for two years now

because i had never felt

such real love and safety with someone

and i never wanted to forget it

or forget you

now i don't think i ever will

\\

i remember it all...

but everything hurts a little bit

because i miss those days

when things were easier

and everything felt like it made sense

now i don't even know how i feel

or how you feel, if you even know

and despite the fact that we're talking again

it's like there's a new wall between us

one that i'm afraid will never come down

and i don't know what to do

\\

- Cassiopeia, August 20th, 2023

[bekaroth-reads]

hello there! i know (or like from really quick sight) that you write mainly about elden ring but could you write anything (even if just headcanon) about albert wesker from resident evil (perhaps 5)? if yes, i'd be really honored. also i'd prefer m!reader, but i'd be just happy to get anything. thank you very much (even if you wont write it) ♡

[Thanks for the ask! I was super glad to write it! It’s been too long since I wrote something for Wesker. It is m! reader btw :) ]

The room spun as it slowly came into focus. All you knew was that you were walking down the street when there was suddenly a sharp pain in your neck. Things all started to get weird a few years ago when the man that you were dating suddenly disappeared without a trace and there was suddenly some sort of secrets police who started questioning you about stuff. Thankfully, they only bothered you for about a week, and then decided that you didn’t know anything that could be useful to them. After that life went back to normal; normal as it could be that is, as you were periodically left to wonder who was the guy you knew as Alex Spencer really and what he could have possibly done to get those sorts of people after him. There was also the fact they all told you it would be better, safer, if you didn’t know his actual name; that was what made you really think it could be serious. It really bothered you as you thought that the two of you were getting pretty close. It seemed like a blessing to find a guy that wasn’t just super model levels of attractive, but also super genius levels of smart. Yet, just as you were starting to finally forget about him a few years later, you were attacked on the way back from the store, and everything that those agents were able to tell you came rushing back as the world around you went dark.

“He’s coming around.” A woman announced to someone across the room. After this a pair of black boots came into your vision from where you were lying on the floor. “About time.” A voice you knew said as you were propped up on the wall. You would recognize him anywhere. “Al-“ you started to rasp, but the woman interrupted woman snapping, “Quiet!” She suddenly shrank back when Alex glowered at her and snarled, “Enough! This one is only for me to handle.” As your thoughts were slowly coming back to you, you were running over all of your life choices and were trying to figure out what exactly lead you here; well, other than dating the man in front of you. You had always heard that there were downsides to dating men that were a bit older that you were, but this situation was probably not on most people’s lists. After a moment the woman seemed to practically drape herself across him. “So, tell me. Why exactly do we need this miserable thing anyway?” The woman asked as she eyed you scornfully. Even though you hadn’t seen him, much less were close to him for about two years, seeing the woman getting that physically intimate with someone that you dated was starting to get under your skin.

Sure, there was plenty of things now that were sending red flags, but when the two of you were together you were fairly close (or so you thought), and him leaving so abruptly made it so that there was always this emptiness  he left that you weren’t able to ever really replace. “I’ve already told you, Excella, that’s my business. Now leave.” The last part was accentuated by him shrugging her off of him so harshly that he practically threw her with his shoulder. “But, Albert, I-“ A quick snap of his fingers was all it took to get her to shut up. He pointed expectantly at the door and barked, “Out!” You braced yourself on the nearby wall and started to stand up while she scurried to the door, heels clicking the whole way. She took one more look over to you and snarked, “Not even worth his time.” You were about fed up with her and went to say something, but there was a hand on your shoulder that gave you pause. “Down, boy.” The man behind you whispered as the woman closed the door behind her.

As soon as the two of you were alone, he turned you to look at him. “Albert?” Was the first thing that you questioned. There were plenty of other things that could have been asked, perhaps should have asked rather, but your head was still a bit fuzzy and questioning his name seemed to be a good question to umbrella everything else in. “Yes, my real name. Albert Wesker. Had to borrow from other people I used to know when we met. Apologies for telling you otherwise, but letting you know who I really was would have been risky at the time for many reasons.” You blinked a few times trying to clear your head as best you could, but long-form sentences were still a bit out of the question. “Those officers?” Was all you were able to get out of the question you were asking. Thankfully, he was still able to catch what you meant. “Partially, yes. They were also the reason I didn’t come to get you sooner.” You wobbled on you feet and he braced you up from behind, taking the closeness for another opportunity to whisper in your ear once more. “I missed my favorite boy.” He hummed as he placed a small kiss on the back of your ear.

As difficult as it was turning out to be, you weren’t going to just let him just swoop back into your life and carry you away to who knows where with some sort of military personnel after him, unassumingly for good reasons. Knowing better than to bring all of that up right away, you decided to come at it from a more, casual… mundane angle. “Really? Because you certainly disappeared quickly; not to mention stayed away for a few years.” You huffed. He noticed that you didn’t pull away from him though, so he knew he had already got you wrapped around his finger again. “I told you.” He purred onto the place where he started to kiss along your neck, “I didn’t want to. It couldn’t be helped.” You started to relax onto him and that was the final signal that he needed to know you were his again. Still, you had to try and resist; not that he minded. He always thought your stubbornness was fun. “Then what about her?” You looked at the door where… Excella, was it?… had left through. There was pained groan from Albert before he grumbled, “She is an unfortunate necessity to my work. Don’t worry. She’s got nothing on my favorite guy.”

You weren’t too sure you wanted to know what his work was, but you did have one more pressing question, “Then why did she need to be in here when I woke up?” Albert chuckled though the most recent kiss he gave on the edge of your jaw. “Why that’s a quite simple answer as well.” He turned your face to look at his, a familiar, deviant smirk etched across his lips. “I wanted to make you jealous.”He stated very matter-of-factly before kissing you properly, his mouth pressing onto yours. It was good to know he hadn’t seemed to change much since the last time that you saw him. Trouble making as always.

[wornoutmouse]

Fun fact: demon slayer starts in 1912 and ends in 1927(or at least that's when the Tashio era ends). Using that math Tanjiro (as long as he kept his health good) would very well be alive today at the ripe age of like 78 if my math is correct since he started as 13 in the series. (My math probably wrong asf)

Power imbalance, power bottom reader, knife play,  blood but not blood play...

He hated you.

Your very being irked him more than anything he'd ever experienced in all his centuries of living. You were clumsy, boisterous, and played that arrogant music all throughout your home while walking around half naked. Well in Muzan's opinion you were half naked, he couldn't even begin to describe his disbelief at the trend of exposing skin. 

It didn't help that you had that insignificant filth running through your veins. At first he was unsure, after all this was a completely different country than Japan, not to mention your darker skin and coiled hair. But no, he could smell and recognise the Kamado blood running through your veins just as strongly as it had run through all your ancestors. 

Completely undiluted. 

At the very beginning when you first moved in, you  came to his home. Knocking aggressively on his front door already getting off to the wrong start. When he opened it, you slipped past him and walked into his living room barely even saying hello as you put poorly decorated sugar cookies on his obsidian coffee table. "This is a nice place you got here Mj." 

Muzan's eyes twitched, that joke had long since gotten old since he moved to America. 

Now that you were closer he could definitely smell, the century old stench of rivaling bloodlust simmered just below your onyx skin. At any moment he expected you to attack him in some way or form. "Anyways I'm here to say hello neighbor, my name is Y/n and I'm your new best friend!"

Your happy attitude also agitated him to no end. Even though the knowledge of demons had dwindled down to only a few select families, even basic humans were wary of him as their baser instincts made them aware of his dangerous origins. This fact had long since forced Muzan to only prey on the elderly to survive. You had stayed a bit longer babbling about some nonsense that Muzan never acknowledged as he watched you from a good distance.

"You know you really got to add more to your wardrobe than 1963 suits." You walked from the back of his home, an area that he didn't even notice you wandered to. Finally getting bored, you open his door bidding your farewells. 

Just before leaving you stop and with a cheeky grin say, "If you ever need anything just come on over. We Kamado's are known for our kindness." 

Since then he'd been on edge around you. The point of relocating was for him to keep a low profile but now it seems he'd have to come face to face with an old nemesis reborn. 

Muzan snapped out of his thoughts with a flinch as he pierced his hand with his nail. He watches the dark blood well up from the wound and drip down his wrist. In the end this world had long since lost its hostility dwindling the average human incapable of basic combat. Giving you were no doubt a great descendant, Muzan failed to see you as a true threat.  

But one can never be too sure

🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢🥢

You heard a knock on your door, soft and hesitant. "I don't think I'm expecting company." You checked your watch and peered out of a nearby window. It was at least 8 at night, you were braless wearing sweats with a red T-Shirt and on your way to bed.  In the back of your mind you visualize your two grand-uncles Inosuke and Zenitsu coming over to make you spectate their fights. For two old dudes they still had enough strength in them to do hip breaking nonsense.

You open the door shocked to see your next door neighbor standing before you. For once he wasn't wearing a suit that cost more than your house. His attire was still expensively dressed but in a more casual sense, that being a black dress shirt and slacks. His sleeves were rolled up displaying his pale skin. "Can I come in?" A dazzling smile you had never seen before practically blinds you as he walks past you into your home.

When Muzan walks in his eyes immediately dart to the clear as day Nichirin Blade sword displayed recklessly on your living room wall above your couch. "You like it?" A hand on his shoulder makes him jump, "Got it from my grandpa, he says it's really special but I feel like he's exaggerating. You know how old people are." Muzan shakes out of his stupor. "I don't quite understand what you mean by that, however I do know that it's much more wise to listen to your elders than ignoring…..It could save your life."

Muzan replicates you and puts a hand on your shoulder gently squeezing. This was it, he'd go in for the kill and it would be over, the amount of blood he'd pump into you would be enough to watch you meet a satisfying end of combustion completely untraceable if the police were to get involved. How he wishes he'd be there when your poor grandfather walks along your remains splattered on every surface in your living room. Unable to do a thing as he's finally in his last stretch of life. 

The beauty.

Muzan's finger only twitches in the slightest before pain sparks from his own neck. "The thought of you coming into my own home unprovoked and at night no less, was the most obvious sign one could ask more." You had his hand gripped so tight your veins popped while your other hand held a small pocket knife that burned  brighter than any Nichirin sword he'd ever encountered. He didn't understand, he was quick enough to kill even the best of the ancient Hiroshima. So how did a little foreign girl like you get the upper hand?

It was embarrassing and almost laughable if any of his pillars were alive to tell the tale.

You press the blade harder before bringing your other hand to caress Muzan's cheek,  "Did you think I'd be just an ignorant descendant of an infamous hero?" You clicked your teeth disappointingly. "How naive, you've really become lazy after all these millennia huh?" You walk forward, pushing Muzan back with seductive strength. He allows you to push him into your couch,  I say allow because at any time he could have stopped you.  

Muzan is most definitely not holding me at gunpoint right now. 

The knife never wavers even as you climb into Muzan's lap, pressing it even closer against his jugular. "You do know getting beheaded will not kill me, and I doubt this petty little kitchen knife will get the job done in the first place." Your lips draw into a smirk and you press the knife closer as you trail it down his chest, "That may be true but it's gonna take one hell of a time for you to grow back." Your hand jerks down, popping his shirt buttons open.

Muzan watches with interest, your eyes light up as more skin becomes exposed. The tones of your dark skin contrast strikingly as you caress his pectoral with the tips of your fingers. "For a 1,000 year old grandpa you look decent." Still threatening his life with your blade, you kiss him. It's deep and carnal. Your lustful desires being made known as you grind in his lap. The flesh of your ass snuggly hotdogs the forming outline of his cock. "I've always wanted to be with a demon. You've had to of become a real freak after living this long!"

When you pull away Muzan's thin lips are pink and a bit swollen. He is out of breath despite needing none, "You have a lot of nerve for a mere human." With your free hand you loosen the belt of his slacks, only standing to pull them off, pleased when Muzan voluntarily raises his hips to aid you. 

Don't get him wrong, he was still planning on killing you and ending your wretched bloodline once and for all, he just needed his mind to clear itself. Your scent, your confidence, strung him along like a puppet. His hands grip onto your ass cheeks like a lifeline. Molding them between his fingers, even giving them a shake through your sweats. His nails elongate and puncture the thick fabric as if it was nothing more than a spider web. 

Your sweats are tugged off completely leaving your lower half nude. Muzan moves his hands to hold your ass again but your blade politely makes itself known. You are out of breath and clearly flustered. "Watch yourself, demon, I'm the one calling the shots, don't forget that." Muzan bites his tongue with sharp glare. He raises his hands in surrender, "Of course." 

Muzan can feel your wetness against his leg and it's driving him insane. "Hey…" red eyes refocus on yours, "You ain't got any diseases do you? And you can't get me pregnant right?" Muzan smirks hands enclosing around your ass despite your protest. "I can, however it will cost a lot more than doing it once." The odds didn't seem in your favor but you were in no position to stand down and grab a condom and Muzan knew it.

You curve the blade towards his chin, "If you are lying and give me some ancient unknown disease or I find out you have superman sperm, I will kill you." Muzan links his lips, "Wasn't that the plan from the beginning or have you had a moment of level headedness?" Your wrist is quick and precise, cutting a thin slash along his jawline., not enough to scar and it barely even bled, but the threat was clear.

You grab Muzan's dick and use your thumb to attack the underside with fast strokes. Said man doesn't react outwardly, the only sign being his eyelids lowering by a fraction. "Were you always this well endowed or did you adjust this part too?" Muzan was not amused by your insinuation. Deciding to once again display the true power imbalance this situation had, he loops his arms underneath your large thighs and lifts you just enough to thrust his cock against your hole. 

From there he let's go, making you plop down on his length, making you yelp and allowing him to lean back with a relaxed sigh. You were so warm and tight. Now even though I explained what had happened with great detail,  keep in mind that in reality it all happened within a fraction of a second. 

Your large and in charge persona was cracking.  You gripped Muzan's sides tightly as your pussy spasmed around his girth. "F-Fuck it's too….." you trail off not wanting to give Muzan the credit he was truly due. 

It takes a few moments for you to get your bearings all the while Muzan and his dangerous jaw swayed in the crevice of your neck. A viper playing with its prey. The blade is back against his neck once again making his cock twitch. If he were human this would be a dangerous feat.  Your grip never slacked nor lessened against his neck, slicing into a growing wound that dropped dark blood down his chest and to his abdomen. 

His dick stretched your pussy and made it weap on each downstroke. Muzan's hands grip onto the cheeks of your ass with gritted teeth.  Your insides gripped him ever so slightly.  Sucking him back in as if he belonged there.  He felt used and it felt good.  His black ringlets stuck to his face from sweat and his red eyes grew in intensity. 

He couldn't see much of your body, hell he could barely even touch. In the back of his mind humorous thoughts such as how he knew Tanjiro would lose his sanity if he knew his granddaughter was being bedded by the man he despised. But the more you bounced, the more you squeezed, the deeper you cut into his neck proved that you were truly the one in charge. 

"Oh God you're so deep!" Your deep almond eyes shut themselves with pleasure. Muzan could feel your legs shaking with exertion at the same rhythm your pussy twitched. His balls felt tight after having no action in over a dozen years. "F-Faster." He has no care for your blade, only wanting to cum and feel the sweet ecstasy he knew your creamed pussy would provide. "Come on human, go faster." Muzan locks lips with you, gaze hardened and intent on proving some sort of point.

Tossing the knife you wrap your arms around his neck pulling his head closer. Red eyes target brown ones as his hands take a stronger grip on your ass. He uses his strength to bounce you. The sound of his balls slapping against the curve of your ass is just as disgusting as it is sexy. Your nipples rub against his through your tank-top making you both moan. The feeling blood stains your shirt making you shiver from the cool wetness

The couch you rest on bangs against the wall behind you the faster you both go. Muzan's feet are planted firmly in the ground, his fangs further elongated. He looks feral and it is in this moment where you get a glimpse of the horror many people felt when he took their lives. "Focus little Kamado, you wouldn't want to disappoint me now would you?" 

Muzan's hips meet yours, spreading the tempo. Your juices coat his lap before finally you tense up completely into a cramp inducing stance as Muzan impaled you on his cock one last time. "Ahh.." Muzan empties himself within you with a relieved sigh. 

Maybe the Kamado bloodline could go on.

[ectonurites]

hey! how knowledgeable are you on stephanie brown? because i got in a bit of an argument with a dc fan on reddit who claims she's all these awful things, but im still relatively new to steph and i want to see what was true and what wasn't. link to screenie right here: https://ibb.co/vh6CYCJ

these may be matters of opinion, but even then, i'd like to know your take. i haven't read her firsthand often enough and i trust your judgement over this random redditor who seems to have some sort of blonde-woman related trauma left untapped.

I'm not necessarily the most knowledgable on her in the world, but I do know a decent amount because she's one of my absolute faves and I love her

But ohhhh boy that screenshot is a lot.

I will say that several of the things this person brings up are based in canon but are taken in the worst faith and framed in the way that makes her look as bad as possible, if that makes sense? It’s ripping things away from any context, because there's a very clear bias against her here.

I'll go through it point by point under the cut

First of all though before digging into this, I want to make it clear she was a 15 year old for the majority of the things this person is talking about. Like just pause for a second and remember she’s a 15 year old victim of abuse. That is something that I think factors into a lot of her behavior! Anyways, I kinda while doing this got into a ranty 'talking at you' format in response to the person who wrote all that, so don't take any of this as me yelling at you who asked the question/you anyone reading this.

"She always acted entitled" - Saying Steph is entitled is absolutely ridiculous to me. Stephanie grew up with a very unstable childhood due to her dad frequently being in prison and her mom dealing with a drug addiction, living in a lower class part of the city. Tim is entitled. I don’t mean that as like a bad thing about him, but he is based on his living situation, she is not. She has wanted life to be better for herself and her mom, and is determined about that, but she is not and does not act entitled.

(Secret Origins 80 Page Giant)

"and stubborn" - I will give you stubborn though, that one is true. She’s stubborn as hell! I don’t really see that as a bad thing though, pretty much every bat is stubborn?

"demanding that Batman and Robin accept her untrained ass" - Steph may have been untrained in fighting but she's shown to have exceptional gymnastics skills from the start, and at one point Bruce even says that with the right training she could be as good if not better than Tim (in Robin #88)! So like... her realizing she enjoys trying to be a hero after she tried it out to deal with her personal business, so she looks to the local experts… and is determined about it… how is that a bad thing? It’s also not like she walked up to them and said ‘im perfect as i am let me in’ what she wanted was a chance to be a hero. But she also wasn't even really looking for approval, either, not having Batman's blessing was never going to stop her. ("So excuse me if I don't jump when you bark, Batman." in Robin #16) Later when Bruce does bring her in to train (and she also gets to train with the BoP) she's excited! She’s stubborn about wanting to be in the hero business, but it’s not like she’s unwilling to work for it.

"advocating leaving criminals to die because they 'deserve it'" - She’s a 15 year old who grew up knowing firsthand how dangerous Gotham criminals can be because of her dad, of course off the bat when they’re in a dangerous situation where any of them could die (because that’s the context here, this is in Robin #35 where they’re trapped in some super dangerous snow) she thinks they shouldn’t go back for another criminal who just tried to kill them and should instead save themselves. But she also literally WITHIN THAT SAME ISSUE then says she realized she learned something after listening to Tim and trying to save the guy! In the same issue! Characters in a story aren’t supposed to be perfect from the start… they learn things along the way???

(Robin #35)

"trying to steal from the shops they just stopped from being burglarized" - She’s 15 and doesn’t have a ton of money. She was gonna take two sodas, and when Tim said not to do it she paid with very little fuss. They stopped people who were robbing the place at gunpoint for prescription drugs. If you can’t understand the difference in severity between those things like… I do not even know where to start. (this situation is in Robin #56 btw)

"forcing physical affection onto Tim despite his visible discomfort and repeated objections (not even stopping when he told her he had a girlfriend)" - This one I will give you because she did cross boundaries with all that! But I do also want to clarify that she didn't start coming onto him until after Tim kissed her first (in Robin #5) while not telling her he had a girlfriend. That doesn’t excuse her later actions but for the first issue that she’s coming onto him from her perspective he expressed interest and she was just returning it! She even specifically says 'Maybe I should pay you back for saving my life the same way you paid me' (in Robin #16) before kissing him. That first time she kissed him unprompted was under essentially the same circumstances he kissed her unprompted, and she literally did not know about Ariana until after the fact. From that point once she knew about Ari she definitely should have backed off and she didn’t, that’s a very fair thing to criticize about her as a character. But Tim lead her on first, and I feel a lot of people like to casually forget that when talking about this situation. The way this is phrased of ‘not even stopping when he told her-‘ implies she was repeatedly doing the bad behavior before he told her, which is not the case. She still did bad things here but don’t misrepresent the situation.

"And lashing out at Tim, her mother, and her classmates in violent fits of anger" - Every comic book character lashes out at other people for the sake of drama like, I dare you to come up with a well-known superhero character who hasn’t done shit like that to a partner/family/friends in a moment of high tension/stress?

"She treated the girls around her like they were stupid bitches" - frankly this ones a little too vague like, I'm not sure off the top of my head exactly what they're talking about? in that era right around her pregnancy and stuff I really don't recall her being mean with other girls? I could be forgetting something I guess but the closest I can think of is a bit after this period of time when she has the confrontation with Greta in Young Justice but that was Greta attacking her first, not the other way around.

"got insanely jealous if Tim so much as expressed concern about another girl" - Steph getting jealous and thinking Tim was cheating isn’t that crazy when STEPHANIE BASICALLY WAS THE OTHER GIRL DURING TIM’S LAST RELATIONSHIP? Tim has cheated a little bit before! Tim cheated on Ari with both Jubilee from Marvel (during a crossover thing where he even mentions Ari specifically so it’s not like this was out of continuity/a setting she wasn't an issue or something) and also with Steph. While most of the kissing between them was Steph coming onto Tim which I wouldn’t count as cheating on his end, he did still kiss her which I would count. Not to mention that the jealousy thing (I imagine they’re talking about the instance with Star, the girl who taught Tim to skateboard, this arc of stuff starts in Robin #80 and continues for a few issues) is happening during the time she’s dating him while she still doesn’t even know his real name. He literally has a whole other life she doesn’t know about, and is someone who has initiated romantic moments with other girls while in a relationship multiple times before! With that in mind I don’t think a 16 (she's def 16 by this point) year old girl being kinda paranoid about how he interacts with girls he might know in his civilian life is that unreasonable? The later big instance with jealousy is the Darla situation- where Steph sees Darla kiss him and gets mad about it (and doesn’t talk to him about it) and thats what prompts her to become Robin. The important thing to remember about Steph in this time frame is that DC decided she had to die and they wanted to make her Robin first to drum up more attention for that death. They were doing ooc things with her to set those pieces in motion, and that needs to be taken into account. I think her getting upset about seeing something like that isn’t even ooc, but her using it as motivation to become Robin and not even saying anything to him about it is. In the earlier instance where she’s upset/jealous about Star, she does communicate to him what’s going on at least a little bit on the rooftop after they’d saved her. She makes it clear the thing she was upset about is that she feels like she can’t trust him because she doesn’t really know him while he knows everything about her, and that’s why she thinks he’s cheating. Her reaction to the Darla thing is not in line with how earlier in canon Steph would have handled the same situation, because they wanted her to die and needed a way to explain her becoming Robin.

"and expressed that jealousy by accusing him of cheating and throwing things at him" - I just addressed the cheating stuff but the throwing things was fucking slapstick oh my god this is a comic book for kids/teens like. ah yes this is horrible abuse in this little funny montage of how Steph wants him to leave her alone because she’s mad at him and he refuses to give her space

(Robin #82)

I don’t think anyone at DC or even in fandom would/should try to argue she’s perfect, because she’s not! And I don’t want her to be because perfect characters are boring. Steph is flawed, Steph has been compared in canon to Robin-era Jason by Cass & Bruce

(Detective Comics #790)

And I think these highlight some of her very real flaws that are an interesting part of her character. These plus her stubbornness and determination are part of what makes her her.

And for fuck's sake the world was mean to her, and to act like it wasn’t is just blatantly ignoring a lot. A criminal father who made her life really difficult (‘when my dad was mad at me he’d lock me in the closet!’), that time she got kidnapped for two weeks and her mom had left her (a 15 year old) alone at home so long she didn't even find out it happened (in text Steph says Crystal was visiting friends, a lot of people interpret that as her mom possibly being in rehab for her addictions again), that whole thing about how one of her dad’s friends tried to sexually assault her as a child, also just how due to her dad's work sometimes criminals would be living in their house (Literally the fucking Riddler at one point!), the fact that we as an audience watched her get tortured for several days because a plan she tried to enact to prove herself backfired since Batman didn’t trust her with important information (something Selina even calls him out on in her internal narration), like… sorry but in what way is all that not the world being mean to her?

She was Robin, she dated Robin, she likes Eggplant (because purple would've looked stupid), and makes jokes. She’s also impulsive, headstrong and determined, and wants to prove to herself and others that she can be more than just the daughter of a shitty criminal, that she can actually be a force to do good in the world.

She’s a complex character, and nobody is required to like her, but to act like she doesn’t have a single redeeming trait is ridiculous. You could write a paragraph like that with the worst moments of basically any character and make them look like shit if that's what you were setting out to do.

[aprilsrant]

Liquid Luck and its wonders | Harry Potter x Ravenclaw!Fem!Reader.

SUMMARY: Harry meets a shy girl from Ravenclaw House. After taking a liking to her, he tries to catch her attention. 

WORD COUNT: 1,693.

WARNINGS: none, I think. 

REQUEST: Hi! Um I'd like to request a Harry Potter x Ravenclaw!reader where she's pretty shy and Harry has a major crush on her so he's always trying to catch her attention in any way he can? Thank you!

A/N: English is not my first language, there could be mistakes here! If you enjoyed this, like, comment or reblog, whatever you want!

This took a little longer than I expected, but I wrote something and didn’t like it so I had to do it all over again and here it is! I love Harry so I’m really happy someone requested a fic for him because he’s so underrated! Hope you enjoy it!

MASTERLIST. / WORK IN PROGRESS.

Gif below is not mine.

The fake Galleon felt heavier than usual in her hands, the date of their last meeting —the fact unknown to any of them— still engraved in it, gleaming from different angles depending on how the sunlight would shine through the large windows. Not a single day would pass without (Y/N) looking at it from time to time, expecting to see the numbers change, waiting for the return of Dumbledore’s Army. 

Once more, reality didn’t reach her wishes. 

A sigh left her mouth while she climbed down from the windowsill and abandoned her dorm, Rowena Ravenclaw’s statue watching her back as the sixth year girl started to walk towards the Great Hall, stomach rumbling and crying out desperately for breakfast. 

She sat down next to Luna Lovegood, her closest friend, and listened to her comments on Nargles, —“mischievous they are”, she said in a dreamy voice whilst buttering her toast—. (Y/N) knew a lot about the creatures that only Luna and her father believed in after years of being by her side, only separating for lessons and to sleep because of her being a year older than the silver haired girl, although you could find (Y/N) in her friend’s dorm more times than you could encounter Hermione Granger in the Library, laying down on the bed and staring at the canopy filled with little stars that would shine whenever Luna touched them with her wand. (Y/N) had done something similar with hers, but with a glowing full moon instead. 

The stars and the moon were never far from each other and neither were them.

Zoning out from her housemates chattering around her, her eyes diverted to the Gryffindor table, quickly finding the remarkable Golden Trio talking to each other. Hermione seemed frustrated, Ron had a delighted expression on his face while the last member had been discussing with the only girl in the group. 

Her heart jumped at the thought of them arguing about whether or not Harry would teach the D.A again, just like last year. But why would Hermione be upset then when she was the one who initiated the whole thing? The realisation that they were discussing other matters saddened her. Unconsciously, her fingers reached for the golden coin inside her rob’s pocket.   

Glancing back at the plate in front of her, (Y/N) missed Harry waving his hand at her, closing his mouth about to greet her when he noticed the Ravenclaw was no longer looking at them. 

Although Harry and (Y/N) were both sixth years and shared many classes, they hadn’t seen each other as much as the first would have liked because of the never ending assignments and most of their free periods spent in the Library. 

On the day of tryouts for the Gryffindor Quidditch Team, this changed. The girl and Luna had been relaxing near the Quidditch Pitch, resting on top of the grass while the first one read a book and her friend doodled faces on a notebook (Y/N) had gotten her as a birthday present alongside a new set of charcoal crayons, when a large group of people gather around the Pitch. 

Leaving the book by her side, (Y/N) began to watch just as a first year crashed into one of the goalposts. Her right hand flew quickly to cover her mouth, a loud laugh trying to escape from her throat. But the laugh disappeared and a tight knot took its place upon seeing the amount of girls trying to catch Harry’s attention, and maybe more. 

Luna giggled, her hand still moving around the paper but her bright, blue eyes were flashing with realisation and a funny tingle. 

“You like him, don’t you?,” she asked without needing much of an answer.

(Y/N) shocked her head, eyes moving between Luna and the Quidditch Pitch. To her relief, Harry had, apparently, dismissed the girls and they were now sitting on the stands. 

But nothing could escape Luna, and most certainly not something related directly to her best friend. 

“He fancies you too,” the girl commented casually, like it wasn’t what (Y/N) had yearned to hear since their third year, “you should see how much he stares at you. I was concerned at first, maybe he’d noticed you’ve become infested with Nargles and I hadn’t, but… but then I realised he liked you because I remembered seeing the look on his face.”

“From where?,” (Y/N) questioned softly, still trying to process the fact that Harry Potter liked her. It’s not like she didn’t trust Luna’s judgement —even if people believed she was out of her mind, the girl was surprisingly good for this kind of thing—, but her own insecurities clouded her mind. Did he really fancy her? And if he did, what was so special about her that had captivated Harry’s interest when so many others were throwing themselves at him? 

“My dad had the same expression whenever he looked at my mum.” A small smile grew on her face while (Y/N)’s hand travelled to grab one of Luna’s, the one resting on top of the notebook, and squeezed it lightly and reassuringly. “I can still see it whenever he mentions her.”

After the conversation she had with Luna, (Y/N) started to notice more of Harry’s efforts to talk to her while walking to class; after a particular rough lesson of Defense Against the Dark Arts with Snape; sharing hushed instructions (different to the ones in their book but incredibly helpful) every time he pretended to look for more ingredients and walked right behind her during Potions. 

Their short exchanges turned quickly into long conversations and shared afternoons, both of the teenagers trying to forget, maybe even ignore for a little amount of time, how dark and obscure was the Wizarding World becoming. 

Harry didn’t confess his feelings, —those increasing each time she smiled, or laughed, or gazed at him while rays of sunshine illuminated her skin, making her look even more endearing than usual—, until one particular afternoon.

After succeeding on his mission, —to retrieve an important memory concerning Voldemort from Professor Slughorn that he had altered—, something coming from the interior of his body, or mind, he didn’t know, screaming at him to go to the kitchens. Logically, if a potion that induces luck to the drinker tells you to walk towards a particular destination, then that’s exactly what you do.

The boy wasn’t sure about what could possibly be waiting for him in the kitchens, but after seeing her sitting in one of the large tables across the room, coincidentally the replica of the one she’s used to have breakfast and dinner, he knew the reason the potion had wanted him there. 

He took a seat next to her before greeting the house-elves, who were already bringing him trays full of pastries, and struggled to shake the dizziness out of his head —Harry couldn’t figure out if it came from the potion running off, the excitement of finally achieving the memory that would take him one step further to understand Voldemort and his plan, or the nerves that’d always attacked him whenever (Y/N) was near—.

“Hi, Harry,” she murmured softly without looking him in the eyes and grabbing a cookie from the plate in front of her, “what brings you here?”

What brought him to the kitchens and face the girl he had a crush on? Felix Felicis, of course. For what had the potion made him go there? He didn’t want to admit it, Harry didn’t want to confess the urge he had to kiss her whenever she would laugh at one of his jokes, even when they were terrible; he didn’t want to talk about how much he cared for her and how that was the exact same reason why he had taken so long to, first, accept his feelings and to even think about telling her about them. (Y/N) didn’t deserve to be thrown into a war he wasn’t sure he could win. And he didn’t deserve her. She would have to find another person to tease, to laugh with, to confide her problems and desires. 

However, the potion hadn’t left his system yet, not entirely at least and enough to make a difference in (Y/N) and Harry’s friendship.

“I-I think I have feelings for you,” the words escaping his mouth before he could stop them, “and they are kind of weird because every time you walk in, or you are close to me, like right now, I don’t know how to act around you.”

No reaction came out of her, not even a slap, which he was kind of preparing for. (Y/N) stood motionless beside him, with the half of her cookie still in her hand, rests of chocolate and crumbs around her mouth.

“I’m sorry if I ruined our friendship, but I just,” he said before releasing a shaky breath,” I needed to tell you that I fancy you and that you are absolutely amazing.” 

Swallowing and licking her lips, missing for a few inches the bit of chocolate scattered on them, (Y/N) shifted her position. Her chest was now facing Harry completely, her left leg below her body, giving the impression that she was taller than him, while the other one supported her weight. One of the girl’s hands had barely touched Harry’s jaw when she kissed the corner of his mouth.

“What took you so long?”

Harry could no longer see the chocolate and the crumbs, instead, he was capable of tasting them the second their lips met, hesitant at first but more confident the second time they did. 

Whispers coming from the house-elves, —who had stopped, for once, doing their work and were now staring at them, many with tears in their big eyes—, made (Y/N) and Harry to separate from each other, even if it was the last thing they wanted.

“Maybe we should leave,” the Ravenclaw suggested softly in his ear. 

Nodding eagerly, Harry took her hand and they both walked out of the kitchens, a grin on each of their faces.

general taglist: @gcdric @lilac-wrists 

If you want to be add to the general taglist or to the taglist for a specific character, let me know!

[mistresspandorawritesthings]

When I was in high school, in the absolute buckle of the Bible belt, someone I thought was my friend outed me as a "witch" (pagan). Word got around, and one day after lunch I was approached by a group of upperclassmen I didn't know. They were enormous guys, probably three of them, maybe more, I don't remember. But they were really upset that I existed. Guess they took "suffer not a witch to live" pretty literally.

They threatened me. Promised bodily harm. Wanted me to suffer, to be afraid. And you know what? I was terrified. I thought this was the day I learned what broken bones feel like. This was the day the bullying escalated and I went home bloody.

That day I'd eaten lunch with my actual best friend at the time, we'll call him "Sam" for the sake of the story. Sam knew I was pagan. Sam was methodist. Sam was my friend anyway. He took "God is love" very seriously.

Sam pushed me into a corner and stood in front of me and faced off with a group of guys bigger than him (and Sam was not a small young man), vastly outnumbered. He didn't run for help because he didn't think I had that kind of time. He made a decision that if these people were going to hurt me, they were going through him first.

I don't remember what he said to them, but it was firm, and it was definitive, and it was a warning. His courage surprised my would-be attackers and bought us enough time for the bell to ring and the crowd to force them away.

I'll never forget the way Sam looked at me after, put his hand on my shoulder, and told me I was okay. It wasn't a question, it was a fact. I WAS okay. Then he turned to the school resource officer (the cuddly name for the school cop) and said, "Where were you? You couldn't see Pan was nearly eaten alive? We were right in front of you." Sam shook his head like HE was the adult and was terribly disappointed in some idle child, then walked me all the way to class.

This is perhaps one of my formative memories. I think about it a lot, years and years later, about what it means to be brave and to be a friend.

That day my best friend installed my backbone. And I say that because the next altercation he helped me avoid was one in which someone harassed me and I came up swinging. Apparently I have an M.O. 😂

Sam and I lost touch over the years, as happens. Last I heard years ago, he finished college, got married, and had a beautiful family. I hope he's well, and I hope he's happy and thriving.

I'm still okay. I'm still an outcast and a misfit and a lot of things that hateful people think I ought not be, and I'm comfortable with who I am.. To Sam, getting between me and those bullies required no thought, it was just the right thing to do, and outside of a thank you, we never spoke of it again.

My point is... you don't always have to be willing to throw hands. You don't have to have a plan. You don't have to be the one getting targeted. When you pick a side, when you step between an abuser and the abused, you do so much more than protect their body. You show them unequivocally that they're worth protecting, that they don't deserve the abuse. You help them find their own courage because you lead by example.

And at the end of the day, the thing I remember about that experience isn't the faces of my attackers. It's Sam, his back to me, fists clenched, resigned to rumble if that's what it took.

There's a line from a Shinedown song (showing my age again) that goes, "All you'll ever be is the faded memory of a bully." I'm old enough to tell you this is true. Maybe not always, maybe not to the extreme, but it's true. Those boys could be astronauts now, but I don't know and don't care. They're just blurry shadows to me now. They don't matter.

[softsebnbuckystan]

Soul ties - Part 13/Finale (Bucky Barnes au)

“I've hungered for your touch

A long, lonely time”

Soul ties playlist : https://open.spotify.com/playlist/054hHxpYJ2rIluevfSaGRK?si=w1JkdfFwTjuXZMegQd9WHw

Waking up from your first night with Bucky was a feeling you would make sure you'd never forget. You knew he didn't get much sleep : you'd only  been to his room once, but you'd noticed the single blanket on the floor, which somehow reminded you of Steve's bed in the early years of your friendship.

"You didn't even move," you said as you woke up with his arm around you. "I feel bad I kept you in an uncomfortable position."

"Don't. I couldn't wake you up for anything in the world," he joked. "Even when you snored."

"Lord, take me out of this misery," you complained as you got up from your bed, escaping Bucky's embrace.  "You were joking, right?"

He grinned and shook his head no. Damn. You ran your brush through your hair and picked up  your phone on your way to the bathroom to brush your teeth. Checking your messages, you noticed a text from Steve.

"Tony dropped off some papers for you. Didn't want to wake you guys up."

Your heart jumped as you realised what papers Steve was talking about. Divorce papers. You rinsed your mouth, put on some jeans and a T-shirt before telling Bucky about the special delivery.

"All I have to do is sign them, then drop them off at Darren's," you explained. "Best case scenario : he signs them right away and I get to go back with them."

Bucky was already seated and he was getting ready to go change as well. "And worst case scenario would be...?"

"He doesn't sign them at all, and I have to go through the court system," – you sighed – "which I really don't want to."

"It's not gonna happen," he assured you. "I'm coming with you to make sure of it."

"You don't have to do that, you know?"

"I want to."

You slowly sat on his lap, wrapping your hands around his neck. "I'm a really lucky woman." You couldn't help but smile before kissing him quickly. "Okay. I gotta go read and sign those papers. If you want to make some coffee while I do so..."

"Oh, I see, already taking advantage of my soft spot for you," he said. "I didn't think-"

"So you have a soft spot for me, huh?" you teased, a nervous laugh escaping your mouth.

"Did I say that?"

"Maybe. I guess we're even, then. Soft spots for each other sounds good."

You got up and put on your shoes.

"It does," he agreed. "Alright, I gotta make some coffee now."

---

"I didn't think I'd see you this soon."

"Well, I'm full of surprises," you snapped at your future ex-husband as you handed him a small stack of paper. "I need you to sign this."

Darren's eyes kept going from you and Bucky to the papers. He grabbed the divorce agreement hesitantly and read the title.

"What if I don't?"

"You will."

Bucky's low and stern voice had unsettled your interlocutor so bad he opened his mouth without  saying anything.

"If you don't mind, we'll come in and make sure you sign these," you said as you made  your way through the hallway of the building. "I also have some stuff I want back."

"Fine," Darren agreed  grudgingly. "It's not like I have a choice anyway. I don't want your new pet boyfriend to attack me."

"He's not-"

"Let him," Bucky told you. "Please, let him give me an easy excuse to do it."

You held back a laugh : you knew Bucky didn't want to be involved in a meaningless fight. On the other hand, letting Darren believe this was a possibility seemed like a fun taste of payback.

"C'mon, Buck. He's not worth the trouble."

You grabbed his hand as you preceded Darren in the staircase that led to your former apartment. You took him to the bedroom you and Darren once shared ; you could see his face changing at the sight of the bed and decoration that still bore your mark.

"Are you okay?" you asked.

"Sure."

You got away  from the wardrobe you were about to open and walked up to him.

"No you're not. Talk to me," you said as you stroked his cheek.

"This room is filled with memories," he whispered. "Memories that are his."

"And that's all he's got," you retorted. "Memories. That's the only thing he can cling to from now on, assuming that even means something to him."

"But it means something to you, and I don't want you to erase all that," he confessed.

"Bucky... I'm not erasing anything," you promised, knowing how hard it was for him to think he was stripping someone from their memories. "Life is about learning. If I hadn't been married to him in the first place, I probably wouldn't have met you. See? Learning from past experiences is not erasing said experiences. I know you're feeling like the bad guy here, but you're not."

"He looks miserable. That's kinda my fault."

"You didn't let me blame myself for this, and I'm sure as hell not gonna let you blame yourself either."

You smiled and kissed him on the cheek before going back to the wardrobe. Grabbing a bag and filling it with your remaining clothes didn't feel as heavy as it did when you'd last been here. Your chest felt ten times lighter, and you were convinced Bucky's presence had something to do with it.

"I'm good," you said. "Those are the only things I couldn't bring last time."

You left the bedroom and found Darren sitting at the kitchen table, his pen hovering over the divorce agreement.

"Could you get done with this already?" you asked softly. "I'm kind of in a hurry."

"You're so eager to leave me, aren't you?" Darren scoffed. "I thought..."

"What?"

"I thought you could make this work for us."

You let  out a long, disappointed sight. "The very  fact you think it's my job and mine only to make this marriage work is another sign of why it didn't," you pointed out. "I shouldn't have lied to you about my tattoo in the first place," you admitted, "but the way you treated me all those years was far from right."

"But I was good to you."

"No, you weren't."

Darren lowered his eyes and signed the final page. With a single hand, he slid the agreement towards you.

"Thank you," you told him. "I'm glad we could end this the nice way."

"It's really over, huh? You're just gonna leave with a guy you've known for a couple of months."

For once,  there was no animosity in his voice. He sounded resigned more than he sounded sad.

"Yes. I might not have known Bucky for long, but he treated me the way I know I deserve. I'm not sorry you couldn't be that person, because there is someone out there waiting to meet you as well."

"Yeah, maybe."

You picked up the papers and went for the door, Bucky following you.

"Goodbye, Darren."

You didn't get an answer, as you'd expected. You went down the stairs silently and dropped your bag on the backseat of the car before sitting behind the wheel. Bucky sat in the passenger's seat, unsure of what he should say.

"Thanks for coming along," you ended up saying. "I think it helped me stay calm."

Bucky squeezed your knee gently as you started the engine : his  hand didn't leave  your leg for the rest of the trip, and you'd  never been more thankful  for automatic cars.

---

"Surprise," Natasha told  you as she greeted you with a glass of champagne. "Steve told me the news."

"What is it we're celebrating, exactly?" you asked with a chuckle.

"Your divorce, of course! I couldn't make it to the wedding, might as well celebrate its ending."

"I'm-, oh god." Keeping things serious was impossible and the light-hearted feeling in  your chest resurfaced. You thought you'd feel more guilt over divorcing Darren, but you knew now that it was the best thing to do.

Bucky laid a hand on your waist  even though there were a few people around, and Nat handed him a glass as well. Wanda, Steve and Sam ended up drinking with you, and even Tony made an appearance. Laughing, talking and chilling with your family felt like an enormous relief after the past few weeks. Despite your surroundings, Bucky's hand couldn't seem to leave your body : your shoulder, thigh or arm or even your back... Maybe you weren't the only one who felt freed by signing those papers. You stayed up late that night, and Natasha was the last one to leave.

"Big day, huh?"

You nodded and snuggled up to Bucky on the couch. "About what you said earlier-"

"It's okay," he said. "I just...you have memories with him. I cannot pretend they don't exist, and-"

"Don't. They're not relevant," you said, cutting him off before cupping his face. "It's you and me now, Buck. Every moment in my life, every choice I ever made led me to you. So yeah, Darren and I share memories. Some of them are good. Some aren't. So what? You and I will make new ones, and that's what matters to me."

You  pressed your forehead against his and closed your eyes.

"I'm in love with you," you confessed. "I'm in love with you and I've never felt it this strong, ever, and it's scary but it's also the most exciting thing-"

His lips crashing on yours interrupted your whole speech. His hand found the skin on your waist as he laid you down on the couch and kissed you with passion, enjoying the fact that the room was all yours. He pulled back, leaving you out of breath. He got up abruptly and extended his hand, grabbing yours and putting you back on your feet. Pulling you into a tight hug, he kissed your cheek and your neck.

"I love you,"  he whispered in your ear.

"I love you too," you said. You grabbed his hand on your waist and led  him through the compound. You stopped in front of his bedroom and stood  on tiptoe to plant a kiss on his nose. "Let's go make new memories now."

the end.

---

this is officially it guys, soul ties is a finished story! sorry the finale took so long to be posted but i've barely had time for myself with exams coming soon. i hope this story made its way to your heart like it did mine. :)

tag list : @ginger-swag-rapunzel @joscelyn02 @writehistorynotthegrocerylist @bluemoon-icecream @lady-loki-ren @simplybombshell @lizajane3 @livingonkpop @kaitieskidmore1

[autisticsupervillain]

Do you think that Brawl!Ganondorf counts a complete monster?

Hmmmm. After refreshing my memory of what he actually did in that game via TV Tropes, I'll admit he's a suprisingly good contender.

Ganondorf is behind some of the darkest moments in the game, killing countless heroes over the course of the story. His own minions are completely expendable to him, as shown when he forcibly detonates countless ROBs. While he was acting under the orders of Master Hand, he makes it perfectly clear that he plans to betray him. Hell, the only reason Ganon isn't the main villain by the end is that Tabuu pulls the rug out from under him at the last minute.

Add to that, he has no real redeeming qualities. Sure, he decides against attacking Link and Zelda, but that was clearly for pragmatic reasons. And while Tabuu is probably eviler than him given his omnicidal goals, he also has far more resources than Ganon.

The one thing that does give me pause though is the question of how evil killing people actually is in Smash Bros. Because, all killing people does in Smash is turn people into statues and those statues can easily be revived just by tapping on them. Hell, Mario and Kirby casually kill each other in the opening and treat the whole ordeal like it's no big deal. Having said that, we're given no indication that Ganon intended to revive any of them, although his end goals still serm rather vague to me. Like, was he planning to take over everything or destroy everything or what? What exactly was his endgoal after betraying Master Hand?

Another problem I have is that no one seems to hold anything against him when it's all said and done. Once Tabuu enters the picture, he's just treated as another one of the good guys. Then again, the vagueness of his goals and motives does sort of complicate things. I mean, for all we know, he wanted to betray Master Hand to keep him from killing everyone. He attacked Tabuu without hesitation once he revealed himself, after all.

Keep in mind, I haven't played Brawl in years so I could be forgetting something. Since he crosses the threshold and doesn't display any blatantly redeeming qualities, I'd say probably? But the question of motivation (and the fact that nobody talks) does confuse the matter a bit.

[flameo-firelord-hotman]

Part 3

Pairing: Zuko x Fem!Reader

Genre: angst

Warnings: panic attack

Words: 1.5k

Summary: to everyone she knew, [y/n] was a peasant, destined to be a servant just like her parents. To Zuko, however, she was his best friend. After losing his agni kai and being exiled, [y/n] was devastated. She thought she would never see him again. Three years later, she almost wished he never came back.

A/N: wasn’t quite sure how to write this part, and I’m not sure how I feel about it...but I’m just gonna post it anyway :)

Part 2 <- Part 3 -> Part 4

Series | Masterlist

This dark, dusty hallway seems to never end. It feels like I've been wandering for hours, yet it feels like no time has passed. It feels familiar, like a fragment of a memory, yet it feels fabricated. It feels like a lot of things, but I feel…nothing. It's so surreal, yet so natural.

I watch myself from above. My body is floating, light as a feather. Am I spirit? No. How do I know? I don't. But I can see myself right there, standing on the floor next to my friend. I think it's him. His face is a blur, but I can see just enough to be sure.

We're talking. Nothing being said makes sense, yet it all makes sense. He's getting closer to me. Now I feel something, an urge, a whim. He's leaning in, closer and closer, and…

[Y/n]’s eyes fluttered open. She was curled up under the covers of one of the guest room beds. It must have been late morning, because the sun was peaking brightly between the curtains.

For a second, everything was okay. Then, she frowned upon realizing what just happened. Kissing Zuko, what a dream. Really, it could never be a reality. Last night, when they got to the beach, him and Mai made up and got back together. They even kissed right in front of [y/n]. It hurt to watch.

Fortunately for her, they were returning home today. [Y/n] could forget about this trip and go back to living her normal, boring life, something she never thought she would miss. As she packed her bag, she once again thought of that moment from last night. The memory was burned into her brain. No matter how hard she tried to push it away, it kept coming back. And every time, she wondered if what she saw was real. She sure wished it was.

Even if he really did, he could’ve been acting in the heat of the moment. He probably would’ve regretted it afterward. Yeah...why would he kiss his best friend? And a commoner at that? And while he clearly still has feelings for Mai? That would be ridiculous.

[One week later]

Knock, knock, knock.

[Y/n] propped herself up on her elbows and wiped her groggy eyes. It wasn’t unusual to have visitors—her family and neighbors often did favors for each other—but it was rather early in the day for one.

“Just a second!” [Y/n] called out. She tossed the covers aside, quickly threw on a robe and put her hair up in a messy bun.

Damn, I was really hoping to sleep in today. I hope it’s not someone important.

She opened the door.

“Hello, [y/n]!” A teenaged boy in a regal tunic with a scar on his face stood before her. He smiled brightly and waved his hand. [Y/n] felt her heart skip a beat.

“Oh! Um, hi, Zuko,” she replied.

“I hope you don’t mind me stopping by,” Zuko chirped, “I thought we could hang out today, if you want. Your mom told me you have the day off.”

He wants to spend time with me? Just us? [Y/n] was delighted by the opportunity. Then, reality set in: Zuko was still dating Mai and only saw her as a friend. She couldn’t hold his hand, she couldn’t cuddle with him, she couldn’t kiss him, she couldn’t be with him the way she wanted. Clearly, [y/n] hadn't gotten over her crush. If she was going to continue being his friend, she would need to do so. She needed to give herself space.

“Um, I'd like to," [y/n] said slowly, "but...I don’t feel well today.” She placed a hand on her stomach to feign illness. The fact that she had just rolled out of bed helped her cause.

Zuko’s cheerful face morphed to one of sadness. “Oh, no. I’m sorry. Is there anything you need? I could bring you medicine or food.”

[Y/n] shook her head. “No, thanks. I have everything I need.”

“How about I brew you some tea?”

“Er, no, it’s fine. I just need rest.” She scratched the back of her neck nervously.

“Okay. Well, I hope you feel better,” Zuko said earnestly.

“Thanks. Maybe another time,” [y/n] said.

“Yeah.” He trailed off, nodding slowly as he backed away from her apartment. They said their goodbyes and waved to each other. [Y/n] closed the door and leaned against it. She dropped her head into her hands. Already, she regretted her decision. She wanted nothing more than to be with Zuko, even though she knew it would cause her heart to ache.

Why do I have to have a crush on him? Why can't I go back to liking him as a friend? I don't want these feelings. I just want our friendship, I just want what we had three years ago. I don't even know if I can be his friend anymore. It's ruining us. I just lied to him too. It was a stupid lie, but still, what kind of friend does that? Why couldn't I just say no? I’m so pathetic.

A few days had passed since then. Zuko didn't reach out to [y/n], and she didn't reach out to him. Once again, she was back to her day-to-day routine of things…somewhat. There was one day when all the residents on the main land had to be evacuated. [Y/n]'s mother said it was because Firelord Ozai was preparing for an attack during an eclipse, which would weaken our people.

When they returned, they saw the damage. The city's harbor had taken a serious beating, but the palace appeared to be okay. [Y/n]'s parents were quite relieved to know that they wouldn't have any extra work for themselves.

The day after they returned, [y/n] walked into the kitchen to eat breakfast. She saw a messenger hawk sitting on her window sill. Had Zuko finally reached out to her? She hesitantly untied the letter from the bird's leg and read it.

To: [Y/n] Summons Notice to Appear Your presence is required by his majesty Firelord Ozai immediately. Failure to appear in one (1) week will result in criminal charges against you and your family. From: Chief Advisor Xin

A bolt of fear struck [y/n]'s body. She froze. She backtracked the past several days and weeks, trying to think of what she could’ve done to warrant a summons. Nothing came to mind. Then, she wondered if her parents were involved in something treacherous. She couldn’t imagine them doing such a thing...perhaps they were being wrongly accused of a crime. Perhaps she was being wrongly accused of a crime. Her mind jumped to conclusions as rapidly as her heart was beating.

Finally, [y/n] broke free of her paralysis and fumbled for her things. She hastily headed to the palace. Breakfast could definitely wait. On the way, over and over, she begged and prayed to the spirits for her and her family’s safety.

At the palace, [y/n] approached the guards at the gate and presented the summons with shaky hands. They nodded, and one of them escorted her to the throne room. The guard slipped inside to announce her presence to Firelord Ozai. Meanwhile, she waited outside for permission to enter.

This would be her first time being in the presence of the Firelord, let alone talking to him. She was terrified to say the least. [Y/n]’s mom told her all kinds of stories about how scary he was. From the paintings she had seen before, his looks alone were intimidating. Her heart raced faster with every second she waited. Sweat coated her forehead and palms.

The guard returned, making [y/n] nearly jump out of her skin. He gestured for her to enter. And so she did.

The first thing [y/n] noticed was how warm the throne room was. It was massive and wide open with tall, ornate pillars outlining an aisle running down the middle. Straight ahead was the throne, where Firelord Ozai sat surrounded by large, hot, dancing flames. He wore a severe expression, looking just like he did in all those paintings. On his left sat a girl: Princess Azula. The seat on his right was empty.

Where’s Zuko? [Y/n] wondered, but only for a fraction of a second. That didn’t matter right now. She gulped nervously and approached the throne.

“F-Firelord Ozai. Princess Azula,” she shakily dropped to her knees and bowed. She had never felt so small before. “I received your message and came as soon as I could.”

“Why don’t I take this one, father?” [Y/n] gingerly peaked up to see Ozai quietly nodding to Azula. The princess rose from her seat and walked to [y/n]. [Y/n] slowly straightened up.

“Don’t be scared, [y/n]. We just want to ask you a few questions.” Azula patronized her.

“Have you seen or spoken to Zuko recently?” Azula inquired, pacing back and forth. Her heels clacked against the marble floor.

“Yes.”

“When?”

“A few days ago.”

She stopped and turned on her heels to further interrogate [y/n]. “What did you two talk about?”

[Y/n] nervously explained what happened when Zuko stopped by the other day. Azula sighed dramatically and pinched her nose.

After a long, suspenseful silence, [y/n] daringly asked, “Princess Azula...do you mind if I ask what this is about?”

Azula glanced at her with the side of her eye. "Well, since you asked, my dear brother, Zuko…he's been missing the since the attack."

Taglist (open!): @aangsupremacy @kaylove12 @celestialentitiesss

[septembersghost]

What is it with spn fandom, why do stans of other characters feel the need to attack Dean to prop up their fave? I saw a post saying that Crowley was a better person than Dean ever was, just what show were they watching? Obviously not the one where Crowley murdered who knows how innocent people just because he felt like it, who murdered Sarah and tried to murder Jody to get Sam & Dean to stop the trials, whose every action (except his final one) was only ever to serve his own selfish interests!

wow...that's. that's a new one. I don't even know how to respond to that. (fandom likes to conveniently forget how Crowley horrifically murdered Sarah and Tommy and tried to murder Jody because he becomes a frenemy and Mark S is charming so it blots it from memory, but I'm very stubborn on this point and never got over it. or even how we met him...it was Abandon All Hope.) I saw this interesting post about how, because spn so often brutally killed the boys' loved ones and allies, it left them with an abundance of recurring villains, and then because those characters kept coming back, they became fan favorites and the writers pivoted into making them reluctant teammates instead, and thus the more horrible actions were glossed over and the boys didn't get to deal with what they'd done or the damage inflicted (if I could remember where I saw this, I'd reblog it), and I think that brings up an interesting point. with Crowley as the example, he wasn't held accountable, and he even supposedly came around to caring about the Winchesters, so his previous villainy is more easily erased. they let his final action paper over what came before it.

a friend of mine sent me a message last night that said, "there are years and years, seasons and seasons of dean being loving and open and welcoming and kind that are filled with instances of the narrative claiming he's cruel and mean and cold and hard," and I think the narrative dissonance is a problem too. we're told one thing but we see something else, and we're left going, no, he was trying his best here (trying to help, trying to fight, trying to heal), but the narrative spends odd moments condemning him or revolving solely around the idea that he's mysteriously angry (as if we don't understand what he could possibly be angry about. as if he doesn't know. don't let me talk about the purgatory prayer, I'll lose it). the show insinuated he had no moral compass, the show insinuated that he was too broken to be dealt with or to overcome and survive, and even though we know that wasn't true, it makes it easier for some fans of the other characters to criticize and diminish him further because they imagine it props their faves up. part of what really bothers me about this, and why I've addressed it in frustration and sadness lately, is because it's an intentionally misleading and ungenerous reading of the text. it doesn't actually serve the others to beat him down or say he's this unrecognizable, monstrous and unforgivable bully of a person, not when they all are so connected to him and tend to desire his approval and his love. when he sets boundaries or doesn't return that love unflinchingly in the way some of fandom thinks he should, they turn on him and call him abusive and irredeemable. it's very strange and I can only speculate as to the reasons they do and project this.

Dean seemingly has more "visible" fans, mostly due to being part of the two main ships, but there's an underlying issue with this, and it lies in the fact that fanon is happy to erase and twist his characterization for their own devices - which makes it into centralized meta (a lot lately, hence so many posts about him being "repressed," built for violence, etc). he's shippable with everyone, I get that and don't have a problem with it! but the transformative nature of fics has bled into actual canon understanding of him in some ways. Dean is the mirrorball, reflecting what people want or need him to be, even when that's a misconception or illusory.

my friend also said, "i really think that like dean embodies the CONCEPT of healing through hard work. they can recognize that dean is mentally ill and then blame him for it because the only way dean gets better is through HARD WORK that he's never given the space to do... and it's the work no one likes doing like asserting boundaries that weren't there before, asking yourself who you are outside of your relationships, etc," and I feel that's an important and heavy point. when the process of that healing, or even perhaps something like "atonement" in the case of characters like Crowley (and even Cas), is skipped over, it's easier to forget and/or forgive their faults, and the forgiveness/acceptance/welcoming back into the fold almost ALWAYS falls on Dean. so Dean is put in the position of having to let stuff go, even things he shouldn't have to easily recover from or dismiss, but no one is really on the end of giving that back to him in return on a regular basis (Sam does on occasion, particularly in the Big Moments for emotional impact, but that's also complicated due to the nature of their relationship and how much Dean sacrifices for it, he can never fully process or accept it because, from his perspective and conditioning, he's supposed to be the one protecting and forgiving Sam instead). it leaves us with that hole where he's always striving for a line that keeps moving. and sadly some of the harsher parts of fandom criticize him for it rather than recognizing the resilience in it.

I can't possibly answer this question, in all honesty, because it's a mentality beyond my grasp, but I think these factors play a big part in why it happens and why some are willing to view him so unfairly.

[tsrookie]

Alright, so today’s the three-year anniversary of Reputation a.k.a the greatest album of all time, my baby, the light of my life, the album that deserved a Grammy (trying desperately not to think about the scene from Miss Americana😭), the album that introduced us to the most beautiful couple ever, the album that shut Kimye up, and I better stop now, or else I’m not gonna shut up.

So in honour of this momentous occasion (and the fact that I reached 200+ followers! Thank you so much you guys!🥺 Love you all 3000💙), here’s a loooooong post on why Reputation is the Ethan and MC album.

1. ...Ready For It?

No one has to know

Throwback to MC saying the exact same words back in Miami.

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

You should see the things we do, baby, mmm

In the middle of the night, in my dreams

I know I'm gonna be with you

So I take my time

Remember back when MC asked for Ethan to get into bed right away during their first time? Ethan told them that he had dreamt about the moment for months, so he wasn’t going to rush it.

2. End Game

Big reputation, big reputation

Ooh you and me would be a big conversation

These two dating would be the talk of the hospital, and they know it.

Even when we'd argue, we don't do it for long

And you understand the good and bad, end up in the song

For all your beautiful traits, and the way you do it with ease

For all my flaws, paranoia, and insecurities

Think these lines are pretty self-explanatory😌

I hit you like bang

We tried to forget it, but we just couldn't

*gets war flashbacks of the ‘reset’ phase*😭 They tried to make it work, but we all know how Ch 8 of book 2 went😌

I swear I don't love the drama, it loves me

Perfect for our chaotic MC😌

3. Don’t Blame Me

Do I... really have to explain this one?

For you, I would cross the line

I would waste my time

I would lose my mind

They say she's gone too far this time

Do we need a recap of our rule-breaking MC?

And baby, for you, I would fall from grace

Just to touch your face

If you walk away

I'd beg you on my knees to stay

He was willing to risk his (mostly) rule-abiding reputation for being with MC. And there’s no way he wouldn’t beg for MC not to leave him if he ever screwed up🤷‍♀️

4. Delicate

This ain't for the best

My reputation's never been worse, so

You must like me for me

Ethan stood by MC’s side throughout the Ethics hearing, when her reputation was completely smeared, and people only saw her as a patient murderer. He didn’t know about the sabotages, but he would’ve definitely supported her if he had known.

We can't make

Any promises now, can we, babe?

Commitment-phobia🙃

Sometimes I wonder when you sleep

Are you ever dreaming of me?

Sometimes when I look into your eyes

I pretend you're mine, all the damn time

They spent so much of time apart, not able to be with each other, so the least they could do was dream of being with each other all the time.

5. So It Goes (an underrated af bop)

What can I say... it’s a sex song, okay? Don’t make me go into the details😂 Just listen to the lyrics, and all will be clear.

6. Gorgeous (Tumblr won’t let me put any more links)

MC’s eternal anthem to Ethan.

Whisky on ice, Sunset and Vine

You've ruined my life, by not being mine

We all know Ethan loves Whiskey, and the second line? C’mon!

You're so gorgeous

I can't say anything to your face

'Cause look at your face

And I'm so furious

At you for making me feel this way

But, what can I say?

You're gorgeous

Ethan Ramsey is famous for two reasons. One: his smart brain, I guess😒 Two: HIS LOOKS!!! HE’S GORGEOUS, AND DON’T DENY IT.

And you should think about the consequence

Of you touching my hand in the darkened room (dark room, dark room)

Ah, the olden days of hand holding in the diagnostics office🥺

Ocean blue eyes looking in mine

I feel like I might sink and drown and die

No explanation required.

You make me so happy, it turns back to sad, yeah

There's nothing I hate more than what I can't have

You are so gorgeous it makes me so mad

The wonderful will-they-won’t-they saga. The frustrating hot-and-cold behaviour. The ‘We can’t’, ‘It’s unethical’ and ‘It’s complicated’. MC deserves an award for her patience😓

7. King Of My Heart

I'm perfectly fine, I live on my own

I made up on my mind, I'm better off bein' alone

Ethan ‘I don’t believe in soulmates and nobody’s waiting at home’ Ramsey.

And all at once, you are the one I have been waiting for

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

And all at once, you are all I want, I'll never let you go

King of my heart, body and soul, ooh whoa

This could be from both Ethan and MC’s perspectives. The love they share isn’t something that you get easily. It’s something that MC has waited for her whole life, and something Ethan never knew he needed, but now can’t live without🥺

Late in the night, the city's asleep

Your love is a secret I'm hoping, dreaming, dying to keep

Change my priorities

The taste of your lips is my idea of luxury

This was definitely Ethan throughout book 2, after he finally gave in. He let go of his previous rules and regulations, especially during the time of the attack. He was clearly affected, and once MC was alright, his main priority was her, and her alone.

Is the end of all the endings?

My broken bones are mending

With all these nights we're spending

Ethan’s been burnt a lot in the past. But all those wounds are now healing thanks to MC.

Up on the roof with a school girl crush

Drinking beer out of plastic cups

They act like lovesick teenagers around each other, like, that’s literally their description if you choose to kiss Ethan for the first time in Chapter 14 of book 2!😅

Say you fancy me, not fancy stuff

Baby, all at once, this is enough

We all know about his initial fear of his mother reaching out to him for the sake of his money. To him, MC not talking advantage of him is a pretty big deal, even though it’s never mentioned. You just know, you know?🥺

8. Dancing With Our Hands Tied

My, my love had been frozen

Deep blue, but you painted me golden

Again, Ethan doesn’t have the best experience with love. But MC changed that.

I'm a mess, but I'm the mess that you wanted

This could go both ways, cause they’re both piping hot messes😬 (but love each other anyway🥺)

The rest of this song could have made so much more sense for them if we had gotten some sort of a secret relationship storyline. But oh well, I’m definitely not complaining about the gala😌 (and definitely not believing any of the supposed cancelled storylines)

9. Dress

Our secret moments

In a crowded room

They got no idea

About me and you

I mean... pretty obvious😌

Even in my worst times, you could see the best of me

And I woke up just in time

Now I wake up by your side

My one and only, my lifeline

This is practically Ethan’s train of thought, and you can’t convince me otherwise.

As for the rest of the steamier lyrics... I’ll um... let you guys listen to it yourselves😁

10. Call It What You Want

I wrote an entire fic inspired by this song, so excuse me for the shameless self-promo, but go give it a read?🥺👉👈(totally fine if you don’t! I’ve probably made so many posts about this song that y’all know the meaning anyway😅)

11. New Years Day

Don't read the last page

But I stay when you're lost and I'm scared and you're turning away

I want your midnights

But I'll be cleaning up bottles with you on New Year's Day

MC has always stayed by Ethan’s side, even when he’s pushed her away. These lines perfectly explain how she wants his worst times, and his best, the midnights they spend staying up together, and the moments where it’s just the two of them, when everyone else has left, like the aftermath of a New Years party (still mad at the fact that we didn’t get to see the gang celebrate New Year together😭)

I'll be there if you're the toast of the town babe

Or if you strike out and you're crawling home

The above explanation for these lines as well.

Please don't ever become a stranger whose laugh I could recognize anywhere

Becoming strangers to each other would be their worst nightmares. Knowing that the other was out there in the world somewhere, but not being in their lives would kill them.

You and me forevermore

These two are each other’s soulmate, they know it, even if they haven’t said it yet. Forever wouldn’t be enough for them to shower each other with they love they hold for each other. But it’s a good start.

——————————

If you guys made it this far, then I honestly love you more than words can ever express🥺💙 Thanks for putting up with my Swiftie-Directioner-Ethan stan ass, cause I dunno if I’d ever be able to handle someone like myself. And if you read all the above stuff, then I hope you wanna know why this album means so much to me.

Reputation is perceived as a dark album, when in reality it’s truly about finding love amongst all the noise. This album, and Taylor and Joe’s story, taught me what true love actually is, and Ethan and MC cemented that. This album and these two couples (quite literally) saved my life.

The most beautiful part about both these relationships is that even though they never showed it openly, for the sake of their relationships, both Ethan(in the story) and Joe stood by the side of the one’s they loved, despite half of the people who they knew hating on them, or betraying them. And I think that’s what’s truly important. Forming a true relationship like that, be it platonic or romantic, is long lasting, and I hope everyone finds those kind of people to fill their hearts with. Sending much love, and sorry for being a huge sap😅💙

Tagging a couple of my Swiftie homies: @swiftlydarcy @nikki-2406 @dxnicaramsey @kaavyaethanramsey @caseyvalentineramsey @drariellevalentine @justanotherrookie