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thekinkyleopard · 6 months

Text

By Moonlight

A Zer0nyx Canon Snz Fic

⚠️Content Warning⚠️

Snz Fic, Romantic Smut, Fluff, Angst

Description: Zeroh comes back from a particularly heavy crossing and just wants to be seen for once. Amara hints at the reaper, he may not be alone. But with his photic allergies, will it ruin the mood, or lighten it?

Author’s Notes: Needed to poop something new out for these fucking CUTIES!!!! Hope you all enjoy <3 @aller-geez owns Zeroh, Amara and did the art!

Zeroh wandered back into the cemetery that doubled as a work space and home, feeling heavier than usual. Being a Reaper, definitely had it’s downsides, and often left him feeling more hollow than when he left.

Amara sensed Zeroh's heavy heart the moment he stepped into the cemetery, her shiny ghostly black feathers ruffling in concern. She perched on a weathered headstone, tilting her head as she watched him with beady white eyes. Popping in between each stone he passed by to keep with the reaper’s stride. Zeroh moved slowly among the tombstones, his steps heavy with the weight of the recent crossing he had assisted over the veil. The image of the young man’s face haunted him, so full of innocence and light extinguished far too soon. He had sacrificed himself for a lover. A lover. Something he knew the pain of losing but could barely remember the happiness of having.

As he reached a secluded corner of the cemetery where an ancient weeping willow stood guard over forgotten graves, Zeroh sank to his knees. He let himself metaphorically melt into the softened grass that had overgrown the many flattened and forgetten stones of the very distant past. “What am I to do, Miss Lady? How might I carry the weight of all this grief, and still…move forward?” he sighed, the sound escaped his lips in a long, drawn-out exhale, the sound of defeat and weariness. The rustling of leaves in the ancient willow tree seemed to echo his sigh, a melancholy harmony. The crow, warping between the seen and unknown veils finally finding a comfortable space upon his shoulder. She cawed gently, pressing her body suggestively into his neck, earning an eyeroll for a response. “That seems like a lot to press upon the poor spirit, does it not?”

The bird fluffed, and cawed. Bossy little thing. He sighed with frustration, absentmindedly drawing an endless circle in the dirt of the grounds. “Impossible, we hardly speak, I can’t imagine they’d want anything to do with me and my woes, don’t be ridiculous,” scoffing at the insistent creature. Amara’s shadow grew in size and then dramatically exploded into many smaller shadows that melded into the grass around him. “My goodness with the theatrics tonight,” O shook his head with an amused chuckle escaping his lips. “And what if you’re wrong? Hm? Would the possible rejection be worth the risk? I should just keep it all to myself…what would you know hm?” furrowing his eyebrows and sticking his tongue out at her.

The bird paused, and looked at Zeroh that almost mimicked the exact expression of “You have got to be kidding me, right?”

“Im not kidding! And you shouldnt be either…expressing myself isn’t easy, you know this Miss lady,” crossing his arms over his chest and staring at her knowingly. She shrugged her little bird shoulders poofing away and then back again in the tree above him, her shape taking form of the small ghost that was the topic of conversation causing the reaper to quickly look away, if a blush could spread across his face, it would have. “Regardless!…how do you know I’m not opening myself up to being completely humiliated?” the bird rolled her glowing solid white orbs, clearly there was something she knew that was unbeknownst to the Reaper, and would remain so should he chicken out.

Zeroh leaned indecisively against the trunk of the tree. The willow seemed to sway gently in the night breeze, as if whispering secrets to the shadows that danced around the Reaper. He let out a heavy sigh, his thoughts swirling with doubt and vulnerability. The ghostly figure of Amara perched on a branch above him, her eyes fixed on him with a mixture of impatience and understanding. She let out a soft caw, and quickly disappeared again, only to reappear in a cloud of vapor around him, pushing into his side. It was almost as if she was directing him, shoveling him into the right decision. “Alright! Alright…” he put up his hands defensively as he refused to fight against her. “I’ll go…I’ll, try…” he sighs nervously.

O took a deep breath, steeling himself for the conversations that would possibly lay ahead. With a newfound resolve, he stood up straight and brushed off his dark cloak, his eyes focused on the distant horizon where the boundary between the living world and the realm of the dead blurred. Amara's ghostly form flitted around him in a dance of encouragement, her presence a comforting reminder that he was not alone in his struggles.

As he made his way through the cemetery and into the night, Zeroh felt a sense of purpose rekindle within him. The weight of grief still lingered, but now there was a glimmer of hope shining through the darkness. With each step he took towards the unknown, he felt a renewed strength building within him, fueled by the support of an unlikely companion. “You’re certain this is a good choice to make?” He spoke to the raven that flittered in and out of the veil between Zeroh’s steps closer to the part of the graveyard he knew Onyx would be attending. She cawed in response, strongly and certainly, the reaper could only groan with anxiety. As they closed in, spotting the apparition placing bouquets of flowers at empty gravestones, Amara vanished, allowing Zeroh to take the next few steps ahead, on his own.

“H-…” he cleared his throat. “Hey, Yixxy…how’s it…tonight?” What even are words? The reaper thought to himself already feeling the intense urge to run away and avoid this conversation at all costs, but in the distance of his peripheral vision, he could see a set of ominously glowing, round orbs, glaring at him. Watching him. He knew there was no avoiding at least, hanging out with the spiritual. The smaller in stature, quickly turned around, spooked as they jumped out their skin.

“OH! Zeroh!” they gasped grasping at their chest “I- I didn’t hear you come over!” Onyx stuttered, nearly dropping the bouquet they were holding. Their normally shadowy face seemed to flush with a faint hue of color, giving their ghostly features an almost lifelike appearance in the muted moonlight.

Zeroh couldn’t help but chuckle softly at the spiritual’s sudden surprise, a small smile tugging at the corners of his lips. “I apologize for startling you,” he began, his voice gentle and reassuring. “I hope I’m not intruding. I see you’re paying your respects,”

Onyx nodded slowly, their glowing eyes flickering with a mixture of emotions. “Yes, just… making sure everyone has a little something,” they replied softly, their voice carrying a wistful tone. “It’s comforting in a way, being here to make sure no one goes forgotten,” the little ghost had taken it upon themselves to make sure that old, forgotten, and long abandoned graves were balanced out from the graves that simply had too many. There had been some complaints but, since there was no one living to blame, there was no solutions to be had.

Zeroh nodded in understanding, his own gaze drifting to the gravestones surrounding them. The cemetery felt peaceful and eerie at the same time, the air growing stale between them. Onyx tilted their head ever so slightly before their voice broke the silence. “Was there something you wanted to say, O?” It wasnt too often they found themselves in conversation, a lot of the moments between them were silent passings through the yard, or quietly tending the stones together. Neither of them having the nerve to open up.

Earnestly, Onyx admired the Reaper, being able to be the helping hand that escorts the living into the realm of the dead. The ghost thought of him as some what of a hero, not only for that but for the kindness of allowing him to come along with him. He was so sure of himself, knew his place, his role, and was an absolutely unreplaceable source in this universe. Nothing like themselves who could hardly decide what to wear half the time. The two of them stood awkwardly, silently, Zeroh trying to muster up the courage to say something, anything. Onyx wondering if maybe, they overstepped. The overthinking was overwhelming between them both and the only thing that could break them out was the sound of an exasperated and irritated “CAW!!!” In the distance, Zeroh cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck.

“I…was wondering….” the feeling of wanting to bail growing within the ethereal almost consumed him, but his white eyes flashed back over to the flaring bird, and realized he would much rather not face her wrath. “If you wanted to walk with me? I…had a rough day and,” this time Zeroh looked down, his eyebrows furrowed slightly and then he took a deep breath, exhaled and finished his thought. “Could use the company…” he finally looked back up, a few short inches, and met the look of a very intrigued little spirit.

Onyx's eyes softened at Zeroh's hesitant request, a flicker of understanding passing between them. They nodded slowly, a small smile tugging at the corners of their translucent lips. "Of course, Z. I'd be more than happy to accompany you," they replied, their voice echoing softly in the quiet night air. The Reaper softened. Almost like a very lightweight had been lifted.

As they began to walk together through the cemetery, the atmosphere seemed to shift around them. The shadows cast by the slowly illuminating moonlight appeared less menacing, and a gentle breeze carried the scent of fresh blooms from the many assorted flowers growing and presented within the graveyard. Amara, flew overhead silently back and forth between the veil, her wings beating rhythmically but still quietly as she followed them through the maze of headstones and monuments.

Zeroh felt a sense of peace settle over him as he walked side by side with Onyx, the weight of his sorrow easing with each step. “So…what’s on your shoulders?” Yix asked him, suddenly taking the reaper off guard from the once silent night they were sharing.

“On my shoulders?” He asked quizzically, looking over at the other’s almost absent gaze.

“You slump…every time you return from a particularly heavy crossing…your shoulders, they slump, and I can tell you’re carrying a weight that once wasn’t there,” Zeroh’s eyes almost widened, and this action caused the little spirit to suddenly look away, a flush would be presented across their face, should they have had any blood to produce such. The Reaper was just shocked. To be seen. To be known so intimately, without so much of a word needing to be said? It was almost remarkable. He snorted, almost solemnly through his nostrils.

“That obvious then, hm?” two sets of pale colored eyes met, in a moment of sincerity they both stopped walking, and just stood there for a moment. Eventually, Yix nodded in agreement, their expression soft and understanding.

"It's not just your shoulders that carry the weight, Zeroh. It's in your eyes, in the way you move through the world. I may not know the full extent of your burdens, but I can see that…they are heavy," Their words hung between them in the cool night air, a quiet acknowledgment of the reaper's struggles.

Zeroh was silent for a passing second, his feet sturdy and deliberate as he processed Yix's observation. "I... I appreciate your insight," he finally murmured, his voice tinged with a mix of gratitude and vulnerability. "It's been a long time since someone has truly seen me…well besides Amara but, there once was another that did…” he smiled gently looking up to see the moon peaking suspiciously behind the trees, he felt a slight tingle behind his sinuses, but took a deep breath in and looked back over at Onyx. Who was looking at him in an almost observant type of way, there was a tension between them neither could place.

Ony smiled sympathetically, finally finding the words to address the delicate topic at hand. It was clear that the Reaper was still deeply affected by it. "Whoever they were, they must have been incredibly special," they said softly, trying to provide comfort in their tone.

Zeroh's smile faltered slightly at the mention of ‘special’, not to the fault of the spirit, but O thought way more of his past lover as far superior to ‘special’. A flicker of pain crossing his face before he quickly masked it. He nodded, his gaze drifting towards a distant headstone as memories threatened to resurface. "Yes, they were...special indeed," he replied quietly, his voice filled with a mix of nostalgia and sorrow. Onyx could sense the weight of unspoken emotions hanging in the air between them, an invisible barrier that kept Zeroh guarded despite their growing closeness.

He looked away, the silence between them stagnant and almost slightly awkward, neither knowing how to proceed. Amara appeared off in the visage of Z’s viewing vicinity, and she gave him a look, a knowing look, one Zeroh couldn’t mistake for any other. He knew what she was telling him, and it was to be vulnerable, to open up again, but what if he couldnt? What if it was too late for any of that, and his only chance of it was turned to dust many years previously? Not to mention how presumptuous of him to assume this young soul would want or need anything from him. He was spiraling, his mind swirling in a thousand and one different ways and the bird could see it from a million miles away.

But before Zeroh could retreat further into his thoughts, Onyx reached out a hand and gently placed it on the reaper's shoulder, which shocked him, he hadnt been touched in so long. Yet the gesture was still somehow comforting and grounded him in the present moment. Their touch was surprisingly comforting, sending a shiver down his long form. "Zeroh, you don't have to carry your burdens alone," the spirit spoke softly, their voice filled with empathy. "Sometimes sharing the weight can make it lighter,"

Zeroh met Onyx's gaze, his eyes searching for any signs of insincerity but finding only genuine care reflected back at him. The reaper felt a knot loosen in his chest, a sense of relief washing over him at the thought of not having to bear everything by himself, and that maybe there was something, safe, here.

"I... I suppose I could try," Zeroh whispered, his voice barely audible in the stillness of the night. "It's been so long since I've let anyone in…his name was Sebastian…and I dont think I’ve said his name in…half a decade,” he scoffed, feeling guilty in the most strange way. They each took a seat upon a nearby fallen tree, one that had been neglected to be removed but wasnt causing any issues rotting across graves, so Zeroh felt no need to remove it. Instead they both took a seat under the slow raising moonlight, as the light started to glow brighter, it reflected off the water, right into Z’s sensitive eyes. He shook his head, he exhaled sharply through his nostrils and hovered a gloved hand over his eyes to shield himself. Clearing his throat and trying to shove the strange sensitive sensations that momentarily shook him.

“Anyways…it was a long time ago...I fell…for someone, and his name was Sebastian,” he paused trying his best to not let the brightening light slowly creeping in, ruin the vulnerability of this moment. “He was, so kind, and fun…he made everything seem so much easier than it was…” his face turned up into a softened smile, one that only spread half way across his lips. Onyx listened intently as Zeroh spoke of the man, the name lingering in the air like a bittersweet melody. They could feel the weight of nostalgia and longing in Z's words, the ache of old wounds reopening in the quiet of the night. The reaper's vulnerability touched something deep within Onyx's ethereal core, stirring memories long forgotten in the shadowed corners of their consciousness.

As Zeroh's voice trailed off, lost in the echoes of memory, a soft sigh escaped Onyx's lips. They reached out a hand to gently grasp Zeroh's, offering silent support and understanding. "Sebastian must have meant a great deal to you," the spirit murmured, their tone soft and never losing its kindness. O nodded solemnly in response, looking over at the many graves around them, mindlessly scanning the words but paying no real mind to the context of them.

"He certainly meant more than a great deal...he was my light in the darkness, my anchor when I needed stability…in the strangest ways..” he hesitated, his throat already begging to swallow the words he wished so badly to speak. In the distance again, above him this time, within the trees, the glowing, menacing set of eyes that threatened him in the darkness. That insistent bird…he cursed her for her bossy nature, but he knew she was right, he could use another being like Onyx around, to confide in, to, seek companionship with. “I feel, so closely to you..in the uhm,” he cleared his throat. “Same, manner of way…you’re soothing…and I…” he looked down at their hands, inches apart, so carelessly rested on the wood. “Really, rather enjoy…your uhm…” now finding the courage to look up, they met eyes, Onyx felt like they were holding in the longest breath of air, not that, breathing was terribly necessary. “Company…your presence…the things you say…you’re,” taking a deep, nervous lungful of air in and letting it out loudly. he nodded. “Incredible,” finishing the final sentence to his long drawn out thought.

To his amazement, Onyx sat the whole way through and not once lost their patience nor did their eyes glaze over in boredom. This was going surprisingly well for him, if he had to have a say.

“Wow..I’m…honored, to hold such a valuable space, Zeroh, I’m..” finding themselves at an almost true loss for words. “Immensely grateful…for you…and Amara, and everything…you, have no idea, what you’ve done for me,” They each felt a slight flutter within the pit of their stomachs, something awakening inside them that neither of them had a clue what to do with. O knowing the feeling, but too terrified to really touch it. Or Onyx. “You are…incredibly special, Zeroh,”

The Reaper’s blackened heart swelled at the words spoken by the other so freely, feeling a warmth he had almost forgotten existed for so long. The weight of his past seemed to momentarily lift as he gazed into Onyx's eyes, seeing a reflection of compassion and acceptance that he had been yearning for. A sense of connection blossomed between them, fragile yet profound in its sincerity. As the moonlight bathed them in its gentle glow, O found himself lowering his hand to reach out, but only to pull his fingers back into his own lap, Yixxy noticed, but stayed quiet.

"I... I never thought I would find someone who could understand me like you do, Onyx," Zeroh confessed, his voice steady yet filled with sensitivity. "Your presence brings me a kind of peace I thought was lost to me forever,” He paused, taking a deep breath before continuing, "I want to thank you for being here with me, for listening and caring in a way that no one else has…I feel, lighter, somehow,” he laughed, silently, through his nostrils but found himself sniffling quickly after, shaking his head gently. The emanating light starting to wear him down thin. His throat was itching and the canal of his nose was swelling slowly, eyes watering as he pushed up a hand to wipe the collective black liquid from his ducts. “Sorry…the moon is bright tonight…” he confessed as he fought his oncoming symptoms.

Onyx's ethereal form seemed to shimmer with a newfound light that was beaming from inside him. This being, this, Reaper, was grateful for them? They hadn’t had someone grateful for them, in, centuries. Ony smiled. They reached up a gentle, delicate hand and as it went from transparent to solid, slowly, they placed it under Zeroh’s eyes, using the pad of their thumb to wipe an escaped tear. “You truly are remarkable…” Their response was a gentle whisper, filled with warmth and sincerity. It was all they could manage to utter, their voice carrying a soothing tone that enveloped him like a warm hug.

Despite Zeroh being well aware of Onyx's current state, he couldn't help but gasp and feel a jolt run through his body when the ghost placed their hand on his face. He froze, his expression filled with worry as he scanned Onyx for any signs of pain or uncertainty. Yet, they were still there, smiling at him without a doubt. Letting out a sigh of relief, Zeroh reached up to place his hand on top of theirs. They locked eyes before the Reaper finally spoke up again. "I- I really want to kiss you," he started, but then quickly looked away, afraid of what he might see in Onyx's eyes. "But I'm scared,”

Onyx felt a wave of emotions crash over them at Zeroh's confession. The vulnerability and rawness in his voice tugged at their very essence, stirring feelings they had long forgotten. As Zeroh hesitated, Onyx reached up to gently cup his cheek, their touch cool yet comforting against his lonely skin.

"You don't have to be afraid," they whispered softly, their eyes filled with understanding and a glimmer of something more. "I feel it too...the connection…" Onyx leaned in closer, almost purely off instinct, their breath mingling with his as they closed the gap between them, pressing their lips against his in a tender kiss.

Time seemed to stand still as they lost themselves in the moment, a rush of feelings swirling within them both. It was a kiss filled with unspoken words and shared longing, a bridge between two souls reaching out for solace and understanding. And as they pulled away, Zeroh felt a warmth spreading through him, a sense of peace and belonging he hadn't felt in ages. Onyx's presence enveloped him in a comforting embrace, the weight of his pain momentarily lifted by the connection they shared.

As they gazed into each other's eyes, Zeroh felt a flicker of hope ignite within him, a light in the darkness that he thought had long been snuffed.

"I... I don't know what to say," the Reaper murmured, his voice barely above a whisper as he searched Onyx's eyes for reassurance. The ghostly figure before him emanated a sense of calm and acceptance that washed over him like a soothing balm.

They smiled softly, their eyes reflecting understanding and warmth. "You don't have to say anything," they replied kindly, their hand falling off Zeroh's cheek, only to lay carefully on the ethereal’s hand that was located upon his knee. "Just know that you're not alone in this journey, not anymore,” there were no more words that could be spoken between the two as they just stared at each other in awe, but slowly the light grew brighter, the urges within O were growing impossible to ignore, and he chuffed unexpectedly.

A sense of urgency gripped Zeroh as he felt the familiar tingling in his skin, a warning sign that the moonlight was becoming too intense for his photic allergies to handle. Panic surged through him as he tried to preserve this precious moment with Onyx, to bask in their connection a little longer. But the bright light of the moon crept closer, casting its silvery glow around them, threatening to shatter the fragile peace they had found.

Onyx sensed Zeroh's distress and their smile faltered, replaced by a look of concern. They could see the telltale signs of his struggle against the moonlight, the way his skin prickled and his breath quickened. Unsure of what to do, the ghost just simply sat there, he’d seen this a few times but, every time those..sounds escaped O, the spirit would find themselves retreating. Completely and utterly embarrassed by their body’s natural reaction to it. However, if he ran now, he risked insulting the Reaper or worse, hurting his feelings in the manner of a wrong assumption. They each were in a pickle of sorts.

Zeroh could feel the tension in the air, the impending danger of his condition flaring up. Despite his internal struggle, he couldn't bear to see Onyx's expression shift from gentle understanding to worry. The Reaper knew it was too late to escape it, and they’d both just have to get through it. “I think….” he snorted, trying to desperately push the feeling out of his face, but to no avail. “I’m gonna sneeze…” it came out in a gasp, the moonlight now shining down on him with full force. The feeling crawled down his nose like tv static, or a fizzy drink, and it exploded through his chest. “Huh’…HH’aHTCHh’iew!” into the crook of his elbow, trying to avoid a mess across his new found, crush? Despite having shared an intimate moment, the reaper certainly wasnt concerned with labels as his face felt like it was tingling relentlessly.

Onyx on the other hand, was stone cold solid, eyes widened almost like a deer caught in a set of headlights. If they could blush, they would be, brightly, across every surface of their skin he took a deep, slow, exhale out, sucking their lower lip in between two clenching rows of teeth. ‘What the hell is wrong with me ?’ they thought almost worriedly to themselves as their whole body felt like it was suddenly, hot.

It was in that moment, as Zeroh fought against the uncontrollable urge to sneeze under the moonlight, that Onyx felt a shift within themselves. The sight of Zeroh's struggle sparked something deep inside them, igniting a fire that they had never experienced before. As Onyx watched the Reaper battle his senses, a strange fluttering sensation stirred in their chest, sending shivers down their spine. “Heh’TSSCHT! Huh’TSSSCH!” two more he was regrettably unable to stop as a fine mist spread across his arm.

The light from the moon seemed to caress Zeroh's features, highlighting the delicate lines of his face, the tear stains on his cheeks, the redness in his nose as he wiped, and the vulnerability in his eyes. Onyx couldn't tear their gaze away, captivated by the rawness of the moment and the intimacy that hung between them like a veil.

With each gasp and hitch in Zeroh's breath, Onyx felt their own pulse quicken in response. The heat that had been building within them now roared to life, consuming their senses with a newfound desire that left them reeling. Onyx cleared their throat. “A-Are you okay? Do you uh…do you…shit,” they lost their train of thought. O looking over at the spirit with confusion behind his own gaze. What was this? The little ghost was never this flustered.

“I’b…I..hh—HUH’AHTSSCHHHh’iew!….fibe…” trying to play it off he huffed almost with frustration at himself, ruining a perfectly romantic evening with his stupid allergies, he turned away. “I'b so soddy…” shaking his head back and forth. “SndFf…” trying so hard to keep himself cleared of any further mess. Black ooze slowly dripping out from his nostrils as he kept wiping it away.

“N-No! D-Don’t be sorry it’s uhm…really,” Onyx’s hands were practically shaking, knees buckling under the weight of sudden arousal. “It’s fine,” clearing their own throat awkwardly, the reaper couldn’t help but notice how, squirrely, the other suddenly became and stepped closer to the apparition.

“Are you alrighd? You seem…upsed,” the stuffed up way that the reaper responded was only adding to Ony’s discomfort, he was so attractive it almost made them crazy, they took in a deep breath and tried to be honest, like the other had been so graciously.

“I’m not..I’m not sure it’s just,” looking away they absentmindedly started twirling a lock of their hair, nervous. “The way that sounded…it’s almost as if..…I enjoy it, like, more than I should..” the spirit’s voice was almost an embarrassed mumble. Completely and totally thrown off by the way they felt in regards to their companion’s allergy afflictions.

As Onyx confessed their unexpected situation, Zeroh turned back to face them, his own confusion mirroring the ghost's turmoil. The air between them crackled with unuttered words and untouched emotions, each trying to make sense of the tangled mess that had woven itself between their souls. Zeroh took a hesitant step forward, closing the distance between them until they were mere inches apart.

His heart pounded in his chest as he reached out a trembling hand to cup Onyx's cheek, his touch feather-light against their ethereal skin. "Can I help, somehow?" he asked tenderly, his voice barely audible in the still night air.

Onyx's eyes widened in surprise, the flickering moonlight casting shadows across their face as they processed Zeroh's confession. A myriad of emotions played across their features - uncertainty, longing, and a spark of something more sultry. Yix took a deep breath and shrugged, attempting to look away again before getting lost in the trance of the other being’s lips that were so close. “I-I’m not sure…”

“Would you like me to do it again…?” O asked curiously, tilting the other’s gaze back up to his own with a thin, long index finger.

The ghost felt a rush of conflicting emotions - desire mingled with uncertainty, curiosity twined with fear. As they met Zeroh's gaze, a silent understanding passed between them, a connection stronger than any words could convey.

With a shaky exhale, Onyx found themselves leaning into Zeroh's touch, the sensation sending shivers down their spine. In that moment, time seemed to stand still as they inched closer together, drawn by an invisible thread of fate that bound their souls as one.

Zeroh's eyes held a mixture of tenderness and longing as he leaned in slowly, his breath mingling with Onyx's in the space between them. Their lips brushed together in a tentative kiss, soft and hesitant yet filled with passion still, though, far too short. O pulled away and smiled sweetly. “Well?”

Onyx felt nothing short of dizzy as their lips separated once again, such gentle, tender and yet romantic gestures, so simple, that almost made the ghost feel like they’d crossed over. Shyly, with a bite of their lip they nodded gently, matching the curious, yet heated gaze of the other’s.

Zeroh smirked, nodding in response before standing up straight again, and looking now directly into the moonlight. “Okay…Here we go…” he almost felt rather silly, what if this wasn’t actually what caused the little ghost to be excited? What if he was humiliating himself? He shook it off, unable to really pay focus to the thought as the moon shining into his direct irises was making them water, and itch.

The Reaper hitched, his whole body tensing as he struggled against the bright light that shone in front of him. His jaw opened slightly, as a tickle began to overwhelm him. "H-HH..." he sputtered, trying to contain himself. But the sensation was too strong, and soon he was fighting against it with all his might. "HH'TTSSChh'uu! hh-TSSCCHHHIEW!" The sneezes came out forcefully and without warning, like a cannonball being fired from its barrel. The sound echoed through the air, leaving behind a faint ring that seemed to linger for just a moment longer.

Onyx watched with a mix of awe and desire as Zeroh succumbed to another powerful fit under the moonlit sky. The ghost felt a surge of heat rush through them, specifically to their loins, a particular feeling they were definitely not used to. Their ethereal form tingling with anticipation at the sight before them. While Zeroh recovered from his sneezing, sniffling and rubbing at his nose to clear himself of any blackened mess, he turned to Onyx with a sheepish smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners.

"Did you uh…did you enjoy that?" Zeroh asked, nervously, tucking a loose strand of white hair behind his ear, his voice filled with a mix of amusement and uncertainty.

Onyx couldn't help but be drawn in by the Reaper's charm, their heart fluttering in their chest as they gazed into his warm eyes. "I uh….," Onyx clears their throat, nodding and smiling softly, “I very much did…a lot actually…something about the crinkle of your nose and the desperation behind each gasp..” almost a bit too descript with a hint of longing in their tone.

The tension between them crackled like electricity in the air, the unspoken words hanging between them like a delicate thread waiting to be pulled taut. Zeroh took another step closer to Onyx, closing the gap between them yet again. “So then…SnDfF..would you like to…retire…? There’s a nearby mausoleum we could, disappear too…yet to be occupied by any deceased,” The Reaper made it sound more like a sales pitch than a romantic night in.

Onyx's breath hitched at Zeroh's suggestive words, their cheeks flushing a faint shade of blue as desire pooled in their core, it was rather uncomfortable for someone who hadn’t really ever felt sexual attraction before, or ever. Yet, the ghost nodded eagerly, their translucent form shimmering with anticipation. Without another word, they took Zeroh's hand in theirs, the touch sending a jolt of electricity through both of them.

Together, they vanished into the night, their forms merging seamlessly as they made their way to the abandoned mausoleum. The air crackled with a newfound energy, charged with the unspoken certainty that hung between them like a veil of silk.

As they stepped into the dimly lit chamber of the mausoleum, Onyx turned to face Zeroh, their eyes alight with hunger and longing. They hopped up onto the empty coffin that was there in display, spreading their legs just gently to welcome Zeroh’s form. “Cozy,” they giggled shyly, and the reaper couldn’t help but return with a tender smile. “You know…” as O stepped closer, limiting the space between the two as he got comfortable between the other’s knees, gently he set his palms on each of the apparition’s thighs, a softened grip. “I have never, desired to be touched…and for the first time, I do..and it’s when I’m dead…” laughing, they shook their head, pale locks moving in slow wisps, “how lucky that I seemed to be shacking up with the one…being, that probably can, actually…touch me,” O chuckled at this, nodding his head in agreement before parting his lips to speak, fingers gripping tightly to the spirit’s thighs for emphasis.

“You’re not wrong…I do have that fairly helpful gift…” his response was breathy, almost like he was holding back something himself. Onyx reached down and began to slowly strip the Reaper of their protective gloves, he pulled his hands back and looked at the ghost almost in shock.

“You don’t need them…let me feel your hands on me…” Onyx was gentle in their disposition, returning back to grip the gloves at their hems as O settled them back down in between them, and trusted the little apparition instead of allowing fear to drive him.

The reaper’s hands trembled slightly as he allowed Onyx to remove his gloves, revealing blackened, slender fingers that looked almost fragile in the dim light of the mausoleum. A myriad of emotions flickered through his eyes - vulnerability, desire, fear. He hesitated for a moment before tentatively reaching out to touch Onyx's ethereal form, experimentally running them up the hem of the ghost’s sweater. His fingertips grazing their translucent skin with a feather-light touch.

A gasp escaped Onyx's lips at the sensation of Zeroh's touch was suddenly against their cool, incorporeal form. Amazed by the feeling, for both of them it had been entirely too long. The contrast was electrifying, sending a wave of pleasure coursing through them. They arched into his touch, craving more of the intimacy that seemed to spark between them like a wildfire. “Is…Is this okay? Are you okay?” The Reaper asked nervously, looking up at the other, while fingers continued to gently dance across their chest.

“N-No…It’s really…good, don’t…don’t stop, Zeroh,” his name came out like a gasp against their lips and O felt a rush of heat pool in his stomach at Onyx's reaction, a newfound boldness surging through him as he leaned in closer, capturing Onyx's lips in a loving kiss. The ghost melted into the other, sparks flying between them and suddenly there was a mess of hands, exploring, touching, simply touching. Gods it had been so long, they could practically spend the entire night just doing this.

Their lips meshed together in a passionate dance, mouths moving in sync as Onyx’s hands trailed to the hem of the Reaper’s torn up sweater. “Are you sure…?” they pulled apart enough to speak again, Zeroh needing a constant reassurance his new found lover wasn’t hurting, afraid or worse, dying. Onyx nodded as they began to peel themselves out of their shirt, undoing their pants, and Zeroh slowly followed suit. O stood there, shoveled between the ghost’s legs, standing in his underwear, as Onyx sat there in theirs. Slowly, carefully, the Reaper watched as his own hands slid up the other’s soft, solid body, they were transparent, but still so very much here and real and tangible. Unaffected by the curse his touch held. He smiled, now looking up at the other, who returned the gesture.

“Do you think you can…get out another?” the ghost asked nervously, in a whisper of words that almost didn’t escape them. The Reaper bit his lower lip, trying to hold back another chuckle, worried he would embarrass the poor thing, but truthfully he just found them so entirely adorable.

“How could I say no?” nodding before looking out the only window of the mausoleum and making contact with the brightening moonlight yet again, this time having to put effort behind it as he scooched closer to Onyx, bare chests touching, Zeroh’s head comfortably hovering over top the other’s, Onyx was met with a strong chest. They looked up, resting their chin upon it to witness the happenings above their head.

The reaper’s head tilted back, his mouth fell open and out it came. “Hh’TTSsCh’uu! Huh’Tssch’hHIEW!” his whole form flexed and clenched around Onyx, the ghost had taken a hold of each of O’s biceps, gripping them tightly to feel them constrict as he blew. The little ghost shuddered with delight, the sounds of sneeze echoing inside their brain chamber, rattling around like soon to be rot that would consume them. A fine mist fell behind them, tickling and trickling down Yix’s back.

“Wow…” was all the little ghost could muster up, a smile breaking out on their face as they leaned back against the coffin, reveling in the innocent intimacy of the moment. Zeroh chuckled softly at Onyx's reaction, following closely by climbing on top of them, a warmth spreading through him at the sight of the ghost's genuine enjoyment. He settled over the spirit, drinking in their form, both of them now in various states of undress but feeling more connected than ever before. The moonlight bathed them in a soft glow, casting shadows that danced across their intertwined forms.

Zeroh's heart swelled with a mixture of emotions as he gazed down at Onyx, overwhelmed by the intensity of the moment. The air was charged with electricity, a palpable tension that seemed to draw them closer together. As their eyes met in the dim light of the crypt, Zeroh felt a surge of lust that had long been dormant inside him.

Without a word, he lowered his head, capturing Onyx's lips in a fevered kiss that spoke of longing and passion. The ghost responded eagerly, their hands roaming over Zeroh's body with a hunger that matched his own. In that instant, all doubts and fears melted away, leaving only the raw, unbridled need that pulsed between them.

Their bodies moved together in a seamless dance of desperate need, each touch sending sparks flying through the air. Zeroh's hands trailed down Onyx's sides, fingers tracing patterns on the ghostly skin that seemed to glow beneath his touch before meeting the hem of their briefs, pulling at them before breaking their kiss, pushing their foreheads together lovingly. He tried to catch his breath but still his words came out almost muted. “S’okay? You…’re okay?” not a moment the Reaper didn’t want the ghost to feel uncomfortable.

Their voice quivered uncontrollably as they struggled to catch their breath, the overwhelming sensation of arousal coursing through their veins. With every word, their voice cracked and faltered, overcome by the sheer intensity of the moment. "Yes...keep going," they managed to stammer out, each syllable dripping with a need and hunger that was unlike them. The air was thick with anticipation as they awaited the next move from their partner, their body trembling with excitement and yearning.

Their breaths mingled in the stagnant air of the mausoleum, creating a fog of passionate lust that enveloped them both. The reaper’s hands shook with anticipation as he continued to explore Onyx's ethereal form, his touch leaving a trail of fire in its wake. The ghost arched into his caresses, a low moan escaping their lips as pleasure coursed through their slender body.

Feeling emboldened by Onyx's response, he let his hands wander further, sliding down to grasp the ghost's hips possessively. Onyx gasped at the touch, their form shimmering in the moonlight as they surrendered to the Reaper's embrace. The connection between them crackled with a raw intensity, each movement bringing them closer to the edge of something wild and untamed.

As their passions continued to ignite, O felt a desperate surge push through him as he wrapped both his hands now tenderly around the back of Ony's thighs, lifting them, he sat back on the coffin, still between the legs he was lifting a mere few inches. “I want you, Onyx, in every way possible, for eternity, would that be, alright?” he asked cautiously, but still, with an aura of confidence as he kissed down the ghost’s thin legs.

“Absolutely, Zeroh, I’m already yours,” the ghost whispered hoarsely. The larger grinned, like a kid in a candy shop kissing down the spirit’s legs with adoring excitement, he felt a shiver run down his spine at Onyx's words. He looked up at the ghost's face, their eyes shining with admiration and all the same, hunger. A spark spread through him at the thought of spending eternity with the apparition, and he knew that he would do anything to make that a reality.

With a renewed sense of grounding, Zeroh reached downward to his own boxers, pulling them down to reveal his hardened cock and slickening his palm with a mouthful of saliva. “You’re sure you want this? You want me?” he prepped himself accordingly, positioning himself between Onyx’s trembling thighs, they nodded, biting their lower lip nervously but with excitement, their hands reached up to grasp the reaper by his forearms.

“I want you, I want to be yours, I want you to be mine….please, Zeroh..” the ghost almost begged, and it was enough for the ethereal to have mercy, sliding himself comfortably inside of Ony’s tight entrance. They both took their time adjusting as the reaper made his way the full hilt, they each took a deep breath in, and the spirit moaned involuntarily with a surprising ecstasy that overflowed them. The reaper’s hands on either side of Onyx’s head now, the ghost wrapping their leg’s tightly around his waist.

“Shhhh…it. It’s been awhile, Ha~ ..you feel really good…” O admitted, the vulnerability of their actions hung in the air like a thick blanket around them. Slowly, thoughtfully, the reaper began to slip back out, only mid way before, tenderly back in.

The air in the crypt was thick with the scent of ancient stone and the mingled musk of their bodies as they moved in unison, their souls intertwined in a dance as old as time itself. Oh’s blueish white eyes locked with Onyx's, the intensity of their affections and desires for one another, reflected back in the other's gazes. The ghost's body writhed beneath him, a symphony of pleasure and pain, their breaths echoing in the silent chamber like the cries of a thousand long-lost souls. “Zeroh~” the spirit whimpered in pleasure as their body was claimed.

Movements became more fervent, their bodies undulating like two waves crashing into one another, creating a tide of passion that threatened to consume them both. As their hips met with a rhythm that was both primal and divine, Zeroh brought his fingers down, tracing delicate patterns on Onyx's skin, leaving behind trails of light that danced in the moonbeams pouring through the dusty window. “My name on your lips…don’t ever cry for another…I could die over and over hearing that sound, and I know it’ll…” he paused, shoveling himself back inside “lead me to salvation…” he huffed through clenched teeth before pushing down and finding their lips again.

Time seemed to lose all meaning as they continued to move, each thrust more deliberate and passionate than the last. Despite the urgency of their passion, they took their time, savoring the feel of each other's bodies as hands made magic as though it might be their last chance to experience this earthly pleasure.

Zeroh's movements grew more frantic, he could feel the ghost beneath him begin to tremble in anticipation of their union. Each time he thrust into Onyx, he could feel himself getting closer to the brink, their bodies humming with electricity as they danced on the razor's edge of climax. Mouths still clashing and melting together like two pieces of chocolate in a wrapper on a hot day.

With a gasp, Onyx's body stiffened beneath him, their eyes rolling back into their head as they arched their back in pure unadulterated ecstasy. Zeroh watched closing while the spirit was coming undone, spurting out from their length over their chests, and he tried to hold back his own orgasm, savoring the sight of the ghost finding pleasure for the first time in, possibly ever, and with a final thrust, Zeroh's own climax washed over him. His seed spilling forth into the ghost's body as their souls seemed to meld together. The air was thick with raw passion and the scent of their mingled fluids, mixing with the musty odor of the ancient crypt.

As they lay there, clinging to one another, Zeroh couldn't help but wonder what the future held for them. Would they be together forever? Could they find a way to be together should Onyx ever pass over? Or would this be just a fleeting moment of passion, a memory etched into their beings? Would they pretend this never happened? They couldn’t…the electricity…the raw passion between them was too palpable.

He brushed a lock of Onyx's hair from their forehead, tracing the lines of their ethereal face with his fingers. For a moment, they were silent, lost in their own thoughts, but then O whispered softly into his ear. “Could we have forever? You think?” the reaper asked, almost with a shaken voice. The ghost tightened their arms around him, comforting him.

“We can,” Onyx whispered back, the sincerity in their voice resonating through the cold stone chamber, enough to give the Reaper the assurance neither of them could really promise. He could feel Onyx's breathing slowing, and their body starting to steady as they began to drift back down from the heights of passion.

As they lay intertwined, still basking in the afterglow of their passions, Zeroh's mind raced with a flurry of thoughts. The possibilities that had just opened up before him were overwhelming, and he found himself lost in them. For so long, he had believed that Sebastian was his one true love, the end all be all of feelings and emotions. But then this little apparition appeared, floating into his life like an unexpected arrow piercing straight through his heart.

Slowly, they started to disentangle themselves from each other, “Should clean ourselves up…we could…continue distributing the flowers to the empties if you’d like?” The reaper offered as they slowly climbed down from the stone coffin, O helping the smaller down with a steady hand.

“I’d love that,” Yixxy smiled back at him, hopping down and helping him sort through their mess of clothes.

“And face the gloat of a match making bird as well…” Zeroh chuckled breathily, running a hand through his slightly dampened and sweaty locks.

“Oh? Did Amara have something to do with your approach tonight?” Onyx looked up from getting dressed to meet the Reaper’s gaze with a raised brow.

“She might have…been the courage I needed yes,” they both shared a gentle laugh, the sound echoing off the crypt walls, the two gathered their things, got dressed and reemerged from the mausoleum, content to enjoy the rest of their night in the company of each other.

The End

Author’s Notes: Idk if it’s cause I spent literally 24 hours writing this piece, or my brain is fried but I feel like I probably could have done better on this 🤣 Ugh they’re so cute I just want to make sure it’s done justice! 🥲🥲 hope yall enjoy! It was fun writing 🫶🏻

#oc #original character #writer #fic writer #snzblr #snz kink #snz #snz ocs #snzfucker #snzzzzz #snz oc #snzkink #snzfet #snz fucker #snz fet #ZerOnyx

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asukiess · 10 months

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I feel somewhat ashamed of writing 20k+ words this month and not finishing anything

but maybe ashamed isn't the right word---it's more like frustration. because I have about.... 7 fics I've started this year and I get to 5k, 10k, 15k words and I either lose my steam for it, I start thinking the plot is not strong enough so maybe I add too much else and it's muddied or I feel like I'm focusing on the wrong stuff, or the default "my writing bad". thankfully I think I've shaken a lot of the last one, and realized it's just more of the former reasons.

I think it was a good exercise, and I want to hit my goal (30k) before the end of the month. sometimes I feel like it was quite silly though, because some nights took a long time to get to 1k words. I probably could have spent that idk, getting back to drawing lol. and then I think maybe I should have been doing both each night. and then I think it actually shouldnt be this hard to create at all.

but back to my main point, I wish I could finish something and like. share it. or finish something at all right now. the problem solver side says "okay well get to fixing the core issue" and the other part is like "well I wanna be mad about it for a bit". part of me is mad this about fanfic of all things, part of me maybe wishes to share that I have things I want to say, too. and like, my ao3 stats/ratio/whatever aren't even good enough to justify this kind of internal conflict lmao it's like whatever, write.

would finishing the stories have made me feel more accomplished, in their own right? even if I didn't share them in the end? would finishing the word count goal mean anything? sure, it really did make me happy, more often than not, but sometimes it's frustrating as writing or planning can be, so in that way, it's confusing.

sometimes I think about hacking what docs I do what and do it in a more vignette style. 1-2k word chapters and a lot of them. I like reading fics like that.

anyway. I'm kind of in this treading water stage about it. something something maggie stiefvater asking on her social media the other day if her readers could tell when an author took a long time; something something madeline miller saying it took 10 years to write SoA and someone commented "I can tell"; something something overworked dough.

#it's a very ambivalent vent (more frustration than sad) post

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junk-culture · 4 months

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5, 10, 15, 20, 25, 30. 5️⃣❗

now wtf is the 5 times table doing in my inbox... ! teehee... this is a lot of questions and my answers are lengthy so under the readmore they go:

5. Favourite band: HMMM this shouldnt be a difficult question but i feel like im always indecisive/struggle to identify an Absolute Favourite Above All Others...... i think i have to say depeche mode because i like them enough to have paid £[redacted] to go see them...they are definitely one of my big faves anyway........ i will add bastille as an honorary favourite simply because they are the band i have liked for the longest... i started listening to them as a miserable 14/15 year old so you know. that kind of band is eternal and forever even if i don't quite like all of their latest stuff/don't listen to them absolutely all the time etc. actually the jam are maybe tied with bastille for that sort of formative band so let's say them too. sorry i can literally never give one single answer LOL 10. Favourite model: uhm unfortunately i dont really have one im not really into following fashion or models....idk....but recently i started watching the x-men movies (cringe) and i kind of got the hots for halle berry a bit so ill say her. ik shes an actor but she started off as a model so it counts. honorable mention also to the sony d-e350 in gold . a very very sexy model (of cd player) :

15. Lucky Number: It seems there's a typo in the questions post because they've put 14 twice instead of 15....I don't really have a lucky number although I sometimes see people with aesthetic blogs posting about angel numbers or whatever and im like i could get into that........ i guess any number can be lucky if it appears in a certain moment or is recurring... since 14 appears twice in the question post ill say 14. and its a pretty good number anyway

20. 5 things you love: ONLY FIVE? BUT I LOVE SO MANY THINGS ABOUT OUR BEAUTIFUL WORLD...! well to name a few: 1. mai friends (physical and virtual) ^_^ 2. BRIGHT GREEN GRASS IN THE SUNLIGHT 3. art. drawing. its my essential activity i have to do it its awesome plus so important in the world for everyone 4. when you're travelling home on the train from a pleasant day out somewhere and it's really sunny and you have a window seat and the music you are listening to is just right for that moment and its just so the beautiful world. you know? 5. shagging ur mum LOL !

25. Favourite blogs: UMM im sorry im kind of too lazy right now to like tag people plus i feel a bit shy doing that anyway but basically all of my mutuals etc...... <3 and the smug jug blog also 30. Someone you miss: hm...i don't know if there's any one person i Strongly miss but there are a few i vaguely to moderately miss. idk. such as: - my mother occasionally - not my irl best friend as such because shes still here lol but moreso i miss hanging out regularly like we did when we were teenagers? like now we're both adults and in different cities and she works full time and im either working or studying and she has a boyfriend anyway its like we dont hang out that often... many such cases obviously but i miss the time of seeing each other every single day at college and walking home together...and especially because id love to do that all over again Now when im like. a lot happier/more functional/more "normal" than i was when i was 16/17 lol. but its the way of the world what can we do - i guess i sort of miss an internet friend who disappeared .... it wasn't exactly unexpected because we always were aware of the possibility and i know its simply how such things go but i wonder how they're doing sometimes...plus we exchanged physical mail and gifts so now its like i just have these objects in my home that are from a person who i no longer talk to lol....

THANK YOU FOR ASKING, THE FIVEPILLED FIVEMAXXER!!!!! :)

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abimee · 1 year

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11 for althaea, particularly if you think you'd get along, and also if there's any other ocs you think would be interesting to bring up!:)

what do they have in common with you? how are they different? would you get along with them?

I think Althaea is a lot nicer than I am not for any particular reason besides that Althaea would never really, dislike anyone? She would never have any qualms with people and people being rude to her dont affect her, while i'm more a grudge-holding person and someone who is often a bit mean if I believe i'm being disrespected myself. I think Althaea is also way louder than I am, cause I imagine she often shouts/says her words loudly, and is often screaming in joy, while i've been routinely told I am ''really quiet'' and ''keep to myself'' a lot.

Physically Althaea is in act older than me at the amaurotine equivalent of 42 years old, and she's also taller at amaurotine equivalent of 6'5!

Taste-wise as well, Althaea has a fascination with butterflies and maggots, while i'm personally more into tarantula and spiders :]

As for similarities, I often draw on myself from the past for when I write some of my more personal OCs, so Althaea has that obvlivious kindness I had as a kid where i easily just walked up to anybody and asked them ''do you wanna be friends?" and then just hung out with them, even complete strangers at the beach or neighbors I never met. She's also a bit altruistic in a way like me where I like to spend my time doing what other people enjoy and helping them purely for the joy of doing it, and we both have a deep sense that everyone has the capacity for goodness in them and that all ''bad behavior'' has a root cause that can be corrected to help the person become better themselves.

I think me and althaea are also on the same pathway of ability to intake knowledge where there's only so much we can understand before everything gets ''too complex'' and the very concept of it becomes unintelligable to us, and its a lower ceiling compared to others, so we often only grasp fundamentals of topics or concepts and cant comprehend more complex readings or ideas.

We both also have a love and appreciation for insects and other little animals, and we both hope that others can understand that everything in the world deserves to live and exist and that assigning a bugs life on a ''should live'' and ''should not'' basis purely for purpose related to humans is a bit silly way to see things, especially because most people argue that certain bugs ''shouldnt exist'' purely because they ''dont have any purpose'' seen to them and are just ''scary/sick/weird'' (MOSQUITOS AND WASPS)

ALSO! me and althaea are both agender :]

I thiiiiink me and althaea would get along? I might get annoyed by her sometimes or brush her off but Althaea again has a hard time coming to dislike anybody, and her kindness and altruistic need to seek out what i want and what i need help with before she asks anything for herself makes her a bit hard to turn away, and I think if we both like, went on a walk around in the woods it would be really fun and she would tell me about all sorts of bugs :] or we could go swimming together and she could tell me about fish and we can get the dry skin eaten off our legs by minnows

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meme-loving-stuck · 1 year

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i feel like the whole "more trans bodies in art" thing is like definitely leaning toward transmasc & generally just... feminine androgynous white bodies in general. my wife and i talked about it and it was like. yeah literally honestly when do i ever see any art that looks like her?

my wife is nb. they are transfem. they have dark hair, that they shave. they are tall. they are not skinny. they are not petite. they are not white. she has breasts, and they are natural, and she has never had any surgeries.

what do you think of when you think of "trans bodies" in artwork you have seen, if any? does it sound like the body i just described? how many trans art pieces do you know of by trans artists that look like her? can you think of any youve seen, off the top of your head? how many trans artists do you see on instagram or twitter who themselves look like her? if youre an artist, what kind of trans bodies exist in the art that you have created? do they all look the same?

like, i get it. im not trying to stereotype. trans art is often self-reflective, because it is still a very new thing to even be visible, and many people feel they dont see themselves represented in any media at all. but i think it is definitely worth considering, like, white transmascs ARE prioritized in the community and do have measurable privilege for being white, lithe, thin. but you shouldnt only be drawing one type of trans person if you want your art to reflect reality or have a sense of community

it's the same with a lot of queer art: thin white bodies are made into the poster-children, and everyone else is swept under the rug. but this community IS diverse. reality IS diversity. trans artists: whats stopping you from including trans people who don't look like the instagram queer poster-child?

tl;dr "trans art" is not just peach fuzz on breasts or a white body with top surgery scars. other trans people do exist and their voices, their vision, their bodies belong in art too.

#BLOGGING LOUDLY #idk just ven.....thinkin

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dreamingwithmyadhd · 1 year

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I am no father. I am not an uncle, I am not even a man, but rather a trans man. And none of my siblings are the age where I had to care for them. But besides that fact, I had a dream where I had a child. His name was Christopher, and he was a premature baby. In my dream, I held him in my arms, in a cold and dark hospital room. He had a hemangioma on his left arm. I have one on my right chest, so I assume it is genetics that made him so beautiful.

A hemangioma is a benign tumor. They make my skin like the skin of an orange. peppered with pitholes and discolored in some places. Though, my skin is not rough and thick like that of an orange. It is like the skin on the back of one’s knees or under the eyes.

While it is normal for babies to cry, he did not. He breathed in my arms and I watched his small lips pucker to take breaths. I felt my heart swell with anxiety and love for Christopher.

And my head spins as I am swept away from the bed and sat down in a bedroom, my childhood bedroom with Christopher standing in front of me. His first steps. He started speaking before walking, so he cries out for me, the individual who birthed him, in a mushy garble as i watch with pounding anxiety as he stumbles to me. He looks like me, i realize. He has a round face and bright hazel green eyes. his hair curls across his forehead, a bright yellow blond. Red flushes the chubby sides of his face as he is young. He makes his way to me.

Step.

By.

Step.

and i nearly cry. I am no father or uncle, and yet i feel so much compassion for a child i will realize later is not real.

I am a single parent, i realize soon after finding no one else in the house and no record of a romantic partner. I already know i am asexual.

I spend flashing days with my son, my beautiful and intelligent son. he is just like me.

“Christopher, What do you want to learn?” i ask him.

He tells me he wants to study birds and stars. He tells me he likes the way they move in the big blue air, and at night they make their own cities. He is five years old and he shows me his drawing. It is of the two of us, i suppose. I cannot tell, for it is mostly the wild intelligible scribbles of a five year old.

We spin to being in the doctors office and i watch Christopher whimper as he gets a shot. He is eight years old and i feel my skin sag and my bones ache as I get older. I feel my son turn to me and ask me if he’ll get sick or if he’ll be like a superhero. I tell him he will stay the same, loving Christopher he is.

He is my son, my own flesh and blood and it pains me to see him run off to school, and begrudgingly walk home. He spends more time in his room, and comes out for meals or a material object. His eyes dont light up anymore upon the mention of learning and i ponder if it is because of school or me.

My anxiety spirals me down a dark path of fearing i am a bad mother turned father. I do research, i take tests and i ask my friends if i am being too harsh on my pride and joy.

I wish they tell me no, but i cant read their lips as silence floods out of their mouths like waterfalls, filling the room and drowning me in doubt. I gasp for air in the top of the room, but feel the weight of my legs drag me down until the room turns into a funnel and we spin until we fall through.

I ask my own mother if i am a bad parent, if i am doing something wrong for my son by being a trans man, or wanting to teach him, or making foods i think he’ll like but he doesnt.

Utter horrifying silence fills my head as she explains to me in a thousand different languages other than my own about her experience raising me and i hope she is telling me parenting takes time.

Christopher notices how frequently i ask if he’s ok. He notices how often i cry if he gets upset, and it puts pressure on him. His seventh birthday is coming up soon and i cant be a bad parent for this. He shouldnt deal with this at his age. I wish this were a dream, i breathe out and frown at the work in my hands. My own art laughs at me from my insecurities.

My son, Christopher is my Jupiter-hopping space cadet. Saying i love you is usually hard for me, to say to friends, family and romantic partners. But for him, the words slide their way into his ears more than a few times per day, and if i could, more than a few times per hour.

I wont be like my adopted parents, i tell myself. I will hold him with compassion. I will let him figure his way and help guide him. And yet i panic as i set out the cake for his birthday. I forget for a moment the name of his favorite flavor cake, and i ask myself if im bad for forgetting.

I hate myself for spiraling down and coming to the realization that this is a dream. I hate myself for now looking upon my beaming son, now seven years of age and knowing he isnt real. the cake in his cheeks and on the pltes in my hands arent real. My mother is not beside me, celebrating her grandson along with my siblings.

And i wake up. I wake up and i gasp and clutch the air, wanting to go back to the world where my son, Christopher, is real. The world where he turns seven on his birthday, March twenty-seventh.

I am nothing more than a nineteen year old girl in a lilac room with white curtains, the color choices having existed since the house was built before i was born. I gaze upon the dead roses on my dresser- from when i was sick with a life threatening disease.

And I stare at the mirror that faces my bed. My hair is long, Branching and crawling its way down to my shoulder blades. My eyes blur as i feel my nose burn from tears. They prick my face, and they drag me out of bed to clean them up.

I miss my son. I wish to overcome my own insecurities to draw him, to make a permanent piece of work that shows the child I had. The child that lives within me.

#angst #art #writing #writers on tumblr #dreams #dreamcore #manic pixie dream girl #lucid dreaming #children #childhood #inner child

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moon-cycling · 2 years

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today I went to the doctor to get an ultrasound and potential mammogram done on my left breast. as i repeated many times today and in the last few weeks, my left breast has felt swollen and tender in my luteal phase - unlike any pain or tenderness i had felt before. while i typically have tender breast around my period - think feeling very full and luscious, something randomly grazes your nipple and it feels more sensitive than usual (its noticeable now), and running down the stairs braless suddenly makes you feel like you need to hold them tight to your chest to make it to the bottom floor - anyhow. while this is all typical, the last two cycles included me feeling like my left breast was going to fall right off of my body. i would complain about it often, and i thought about the pain a lot and it made me want to just lay down and hold my breast, nothing was comfortable because i dont have proper bras for pain (now i kind of do).

so i felt this pain and then mentioned it at my last physical. the doctor said to come back if it hurt again (by then the pain had subsided due to my period coming). i asked what will you do if it hurts again and i come back. she says a breast exam, so i ask if we can just do that right now. she agrees but feels nothing abnormal to her. the pain returns next cycle in the same spot, so i schedule an appointment with that same doctor. I end up getting my period the day of the appointment and cannot make it. they say no appointments until january! wow. so i schedule with my gynecologist the next monday. before then, i take a bath and feel my breasts. i do feel a painful, swollen feeling lump to the left of my left nipple. i get very upset about this naturally.

i go to the gynecologist. she is very sweet and also feels what i felt. the pain was much less dramatic by that day, but she did feel the spot. i remember asking a lot of questions and she answered all that she could. she said it could just be normal cycle changes. i was getting really specific about hormones and she did not know the answer. she sent me for an ultrasound so that was today.

i went, they did the ultrasound and the technician, as my gynecologist had said, i had fybrocystic tissue. she said it changes texture as you age and that god makes all boob differently. i dont feel weird about her touching me at all, its fine. she says the doctor says everything looks normal and that i can get dressed and leave.

that... was not going to happen. i start asking some questions and as the technician is trying to draw tissue on paper for me, she goes to get the doctor. the doctor says that really we cant know what the thing on my breast is because it changes with my cycle. it could be fybrocistic tissue just getting more dense/swollen/whateveridontunderstand which happens with hormonal fluctuation. Or a cyst? But cannot know until it comes back. But they essentially said its all fine and i shouldnt worry.

But basically she is saying that at the rate of cancer at my age, I shouldn't get tested for these things because it costs too much money. She also said that I should do self breast exams day 7 of my period. She also said her society of doctors no longer recommends patients do breast exams because many people just feel their breast anatomy for the first time and think there are bad lumps because they are not used to the physical structure underneath breasts. so the ignorance leads to tests that people cannot afford. just come get mammograms when you turn 40. she said her friend asked her if she should get a baseline one at 35 and she said no. i asked why and she said necessary radiation, cost, and stress.

this was all very confusing because i feel like we were weighing financial and convenience risks against legitimate health concerns. like i clearly need to know my anatomy more (which she did recommend), but the main focus was on not wasting time and money on doing breasts testing. i wonder how breast care is in other countries. apparently 1 in 8 women get breast cancer in their lives. and there's a gene you can test for that i want to.

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immagrosscandy · 3 years

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On the topic of Liz's hair, i always read it less as an afro and more as locks of some sort, but she does look Super cute with it loose!! and i dont think what you drew was that big of a deal,,, but i mean, just a friendly piece of advice(completely genuine and not trying to sound belittling or anything like that) is that i think when you draw afro texture you shouldnt include the lil swoopy spikes one might with other textures. Thats something ive had to actively work on myself. Those kinds of swoops just arent something you see irl with denser curl patterns, and cuz of that the texture just doesnt quite look the way youre intending. Otherwise keep up the good work! Its been really fun seeing your art grow and evolve recently and cant wait to see you do more :) <3

Oh thank you very much anon!

The only thing I want is to make Liz justice because she's not often seen or drawn and that hurts me. And thanks for your advice! I've never drawn afro hair before, so I might make mistakes

I'll keep it in mind for future drawings since Liz with her hair loosen gives me life

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frenchphobic · 4 years

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long fucking post on why a c!dream is a shitty person and probably should not have a redemption because it is unpog

honestly i just want to refute dream apologists thats why im making this post. i think that dream as a villain is interesting but i think that trying to make him out to be secretly a good guy is just bad ngl. also /roleplay and all

tw for abuse and mentions of suicide

dream as a villain

dream is a villain. he is chaotic evil according to wilbur, deliberately does not stream to appear less sympathetic (and yet), and is set up as an antagonist to tommy who bears the title ‘hero’. dream is not a good person, no matter how you look at it or try to justify his actions.

‘but he wants to unite everyone to be a big family :((’ the ends dont justify the means believe it or not. having a vaguely positive goal does not excuse the actions you’ve done. it also goes hand and hand with saying dream is correct for punishing tommy the way he did because he acted up. if i socked you across the face and then suddenly said ‘sorry there was a roach on ur face’ does that make it okay? probably not i still punched you, enacting an unnecessary amount of violence. thats a very simple analogy i will admit and there are more complex comparisons. another example off the top of my head is say a child just scribbled all over you walls with crayons. would hitting them be a justified answer? if u said hes thats really fucked of u go seek help u loon. violence as a punishment is very toxic, just because it gets the job done does not mean it is okay. at the end of the day, you still committed this act and the harm you caused is real, having a good motive doesnt suddenly make it okay.

‘but tommy causes all of the conflict’ the disk war wasnt even caused by tommy, it was sapnap and then tommy got involved. and the reason why tommy even caused conflict was because of the discs, because he wanted them back. and most of the time there was a level of antagonism from another party, such as schlatt exiling him, dream taking the disks in the first place, dream threatening l’manberg. and if dream wanted to end the conflict so badly, why didnt he just give tommy back his disks? tommy upfront said everything started with the disks, so he wants them back so he could end the conflict. notice how after tommy got his disks back he has been staying out of conflict, apologizing to everyone, and the only bad thing hes done is try to scam people but everyone does that. this would have been the most peaceful option, yet dream chose the path that would further antagonize tommy which then draws everyone else into conflict. why did dream need to have leverage over tommy so badly? why did he want to hold power over tommy so badly? its because of control, and that’s ultimately dreams end goal. sure he wants a big server family, but would said family have a free will?

‘but dream is sad’ the thing is dream is completely at fault for everything that happened to him. he pushed away sapnap (and george ig). he tried to take control over the server and their possessions. literally everything that happened to tommy. literally everything involving ranboo. villains can be sympathetic, i am not arguing against that. but it does not mean that they should be left off the hook. that doesnt mean u should ignore the shit theyve done because ‘oh no theyre sad’ because it doesnt make anything better. dream had this shit coming for him.

now people also skirt around calling dream an abuser. which is fair ig, its a very loaded word. its much easier to say manipulated. that being said, dream can classify as abusive. and no, tommy is not abusive. abuse is about control and a power imbalance. dream has power over tommy, but tommy does not have power over dream, at least not in the way dream does. he’s taking back power to stand up for himself, dream uses power to control.

the reasons i listed for why dream is from the Domestic Abuse Intervention Project so if u want a source on that, there you go.

using coercion or threats: dream often threatened tommy, such as the pit thing and often employed violence on him. while normally this could be attributed to Normal Minecraft Player Go Smack. minecraft mechanics cannot always translate to real world since violence is pretty normal in minecraft however we also need to consider the context of the scene. dream gave an order, tommy refused, dream applies violence, tommy submitted. thats why its a threat, it has tangible effects that can correlate to real life.

using intimidation: dream blew up logsteadshire as a punishment. dream also destroyed tommys items anytime he visited. dream also hit tommy with his axe i believe. he killed mushroom henry, one of tommys pets.

Using Emotional Abuse: dream guiltripped the shit out of tommy for just hiding things and pinning the blame on tommy for just wanting his own private items. he definitely played mind games on tommy, pretending to be his friend. honestly i probably dont even need to go as in depth because it was so obvious.

Using Isolation: putting him in exile in the first place. destroying the bether portal so no one could visit tommy anymore. i really dont think i need to expand upon that.

Minimizing, Denying, and Blaming: dream in tommys stream when he got trapped said that exile wasnt that bad. he does shift the blame onto tommy for logsteadshire being blown up, even though dreams reaction was entirely unjustified for not listening and hiding.

Using Economic Abuse: see this is where i attempt to parallel minecraft mechanics to real life. obviously, there is no monetary system in place, so when i mean economic, i will use valuables such as armor, food, etc in place of currency. the idea behind economic abuse is to limit the victim’s resources so that they are dependent on the abuser and cannot escape. dream only really allowed tommy to have the armor he gave him while not giving access to armor so he does not regain a sense of power, and in the prison stream, dream holds all the potatoes which puts him in a position of power over tommy. this argument is more ambiguous i feel cause the whole minecraft mechanics thing is kinda weird so u don’t necessarily have to take this part in.

i feel like i need to emphasize this very strongly because dream is not a good person. abuse cannot and should not be a response to someone. its an awful mentality to have. i just want to prove the point that dream is not a good person, his reasons absolutely do not justify his actions.

what makes a good redemption

redemption arcs are tricky. when done right they are great. when done poorly, its a slap in the face. rn im going to establish a formula to what makes a good redemption with an example.

the most well known example of a good redemption is zuko from atla. first, its the magnitude of what theyve done and why. zuko did commit some shitty actions, since he was in a position of power in the fire nation but its because he is a child being abused and wanted to regain honor. zukos real awful acts was season 1 and the whole betrayal thing. thats not to say that zukos actions suddenly are okay, he did shitty things. but its something that can be traced to a higher entity or seem less malicious then the other villains. the thing also about the magnitude of actions is that there is a certain point of atrocities that there is no redemption. some people simply cannot be redeemed because the actions they commit are so ingrained in their character or the action itself has serious moral issues that it would just be wrong.

the next is acknowleding what they did was wrong. a genuine reflection on the self and analyzing what they did and why it was not okay. zuko realized what he did to uncle iroh was bad for example. he turned his back on his father, realizing he didnt and shouldnt seek acknowledgment from someone as heinous as him. its pointing out your actions and going ‘hey, this wasnt right i should not have done this’ and not even excusing ur actions. its also going straight for the root of the problem and figuring out to stamp it from the source. just because a character is sad does not mean they are reflecting, sometimes they are attempting to garner pity. it has to be direct and clear acknowledgement of the injustice.

and finally, an important part about redemption arcs is the actual redemption part. its when you make amends. zuko made amends with katara by trying to help her get revenge, he fought against the fire nation and tried to make things more peaceful in his rule. he apologized to iroh. an important part of the amends section is that it does have to be a genuine desire to change and become a better person, not to change a person’s perception of you. the thing is u cant expect a person youve hurt to forgive you. you cant expect people to be sympathetic towards you nor should u attempt to make urself sympathetic. u shouldnt be expecting a pat on the back or an award. redemption is about internal and character change.

why dream should not be redeemed

ive already established the key points to a good redemption (imo) but heres where dream falls short. his actions are extremely heavy so redemption may not even really be possible. abuse is not something you can wave off so it does cross to the point of fucked up. acknowledgement of what he did was wrong? all he said was that he changed, yet never explained why he changed or was too vague. he needed to label specifically what he did and bring it up. attempting to make amends? he’s been doing the exact opposite in fact he continues to manipulate tommy and ranboo. its not a genuine change. he is still repeating the cycle and has given no indication of ceasing. at the moment he does not have any signs of redemption.

and the thing is most of the attention around a dream redemption comes from either justifying his motives (which i do want to emphasize does not make anything suddenly okay) and because he is sad in prison sad face. these are not good reasons. its gonna pain me severely to bring this up but snape from harry potter does have some form of sad character ig yet he very much abused his authority to bully children as old as 11 just because he said ‘aight gonna die’ doesnt suddenly make his general bigotry and abuse suddenly okay there is a threshold. again im so sorry for using harry potter as an example none were coming to mind and i needed a popular one i do not like harry potter please dont say i do i would pass away.

and the last thing to consider is the audience. keep in mind that the audience is composed of minors and while yes there are adults, minors are the main component of the fandom. keep in mind that there are quite a few people who can relate to tommys character because they might be in the same position or have gone through his experiences. tell me what kind of message does it send to that audience that abusers can be redeemed. this is not a narrative u should push to this audience in these situations and the writers are seemingly aware of it. remember how in exile tommy spiraled into a suicidal mentality? consider how fucked of a message it would be if he just committed suicide instead of escaping abuse and attempting to recover from his experiences. tommy did an excellent job in not going that route and having a message of ‘it will not get better’. its the same thing here. victims are not obligated to care for or forgive their abuser, and portraying an abuser as sympathetic might fuck with the message a lot, even change their perception in that ‘oh, maybe my abuser was right, maybe they had a reason for treating me the way they did’. this is not to say that every victim watching this will internalize this message, but people also look up to these characters. there can be a degree of influence from the story onto oneself and thats the dangerous part.

conclusion

all in all dream is a shitbag asshole and probably shouldnt get a redemption because it would not be pog thanks for coming to my ted talk.

#dream smp #dsmp #tommyinnit #dreamwastaken

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s0lar-nexus · 3 years

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I love this strange person, they look so cool, and I want more

hi! sorry this took so long, i wanted to draw some portraits real fast so you could put face to name. gonna be introducing the main characters and one important unseen character

steph- the main character and the one i've already posted art for

steph is the leader of the group, he's the one who's overseeing everything and is deciding which direction to go, he's at the front of all the missions and combat although he is not the only one there.

he just tries to not let other people get hurt if he can help it. he fights with modified fireworks, he usually shoots them with a crossbow but has a canon attached to their get away vehicle (he also uses other things if the situation calls for it but usually that's what he uses).

he has a lot of trouble connecting with other people, he has very low self esteem and doesnt care if he lives or dies, this is one of the main reasons he throws himself into dangerous situations, sometimes setting up the situation himself. when he's around people he tries to be loud and fun.

steph is named after staphylococcal syndrome which is a type of infection that causes the skin to look scolded or like it was melted with a hot liquid, this is a reference to his burn scars which was caused by his skin melting

fun facts:

-steph is into more macabre horror and ecto like more realistic or just plain supernatural horror

-steph is very interested in experiences he knows he shouldnt be seeking, like the feeling of taking someone's life or taking his own

-steph is a performer and although his regular shows weren't too crazy he did a lot of underground shows with high stakes, the mouth at his stomach came from his mutation reacting to a fatal wound caused by a saw blade that broke loose. steph wasn't the same after experiencing that high.

-steph got a LOT of money from the underground shows

ecto- steph's older sister, she died in steph's backstory

ecto raised steph since they moved homes too often to get a genuine parental figure, neither knows why they were moving homes but just accepted it as a fact of their life. the dynamic of mother and child followed them as they got older as it was really the only form of connection they had for such a huge portion of their life, only ecto managed to branch out before being an adult.

ecto likes true crime and the supernatural (i added it as a pun on her name). she is confident and knows when to put her foot down, she had to grow up very quickly but still has a very stupid sense of humor.

ecto is named after Ectrodactyly which is a mutation in the hands and feet that causes the bones the grow in unnatural ways, also called lobster syndrome if you wanted a better mental picture of how that works. chose this name because it was he hands that grew into her throat and cut off the head and lungs as she was twisting around during her mutation

cotaro/corey- ecto's boyfriend

fun facts:

-ecto got steph into spooky stories and every halloween they watch horror movies together

-ecto is trans

-ecto doesn't mind being a mother figure for steph, she is just happy she was able to be there for him and they never drifted apart

-ecto knew a little bit before the actual mutation that she was gonna mutate and tried to get away from steph incase something terrible happened. however she failed and steph saw the whole thing

cotaro is like a father figure for steph, since he was dating ecto he naturally got to know steph although steph isnt that open with him. steph did save his life thought, rushing him to the lab after he started to mutate, if the mutation continued he would've cracked his spine and be completely immobile, eventually dying since he wouldn't have a way to take care of himself, since the main source of mutation is in the flesh with bones being able to mutate but barely fight back when being corrected, the only thing left of his mutation is a horn on the right side of his head (his right).

corey himself is rather chill and like video games, he cares deeply about his friends and family and isnt afraid to say it, he prefers not to talk about himself and usually keeps his problems to himself, he only ever talked about them to ecto, ever since he became a skeleton he's struggled with mortality, he's unsure of whether or not he's immortal or is going to start decaying any moment. usually switching between them based on his mood, when one thing upsets him usually everything else follows even if they aren't related. he also forgets to take care of this because of these feelings

his name comes from cotard syndrome which is when someone believes they are dead or dying,

fun facts:

-corey's favorite game series is legend of zelda

-he actually doesn't mind how he looks as a skeleton, though he does miss having hair

-he had brown hair as a human and typically just wore a blue hoodie

-he likes his new outfit, the only reason he didn't dress like that before was because he didn't wanna be made fun of, being a skeleton kinda erased that fear

-ecto was the one who asked him out and he nearly cried when she did

tero- steph's only friend and the scientist of the group

ehetero is a prodigy in his field and used to be the head scientist for a group that took on secret projects which often times were extremely dangerous and tedious, however he found this extremely boring and ran off to make his own lab where he could conduct his own experiments. getting funding from large companies and paying police to look the other way at the more unlawful parts.

tero's appearance isn't caused my mutations, they are the result of lab accidents and self experimentation. he has brain damage from toxic fumes and usually switches so rapidly between emotional extremes he can go from yelling about how he feels the world is basically dead to laughing about something he thought of in the same breath. also the emotions he shows with his body language and tone can be entirely different from what he's actually saying and meaning in rare situations. despite all of that he is still very smart and takes his job seriously.

he is pretty close with steph who reached out to him to request his help in finding a cure to the sudden mutations spreading around. tero took interest in steph's unique mutations and personality and they hit it off fairly well. steph feels comfortable to be open with tero in a way he isn't with anyone else since tero is objectively more unsual and sorta fucked up than steph is, so the fear of judgement isn't really present around tero.

tero is named after teratomas which is a type of tumor that grows teeth, can lead to teeth growing in places like the brain and can cause rows of teeth to form in the mouth like a shark, this is foreshadowing to his future mutations later in the story. (the picture shown is how he was before then)

fun facts:

-tero is very fond of fashion, hence why he wears his lab coat in an overly dramatic way, he also designed steph's costume

-tero has robot legs due to a lab accident

-tero gave himself brain damage resulting in the dramatic mood swings after breathing in toxic fumes while working

-the weird colors in his eyes and the ears are not the result of a mutation, he just experiments on himself for fun

-nobody likes playing scrabble with him

i hope you enjoyed reading this!

#long post #oc #steph and co #original story #this is just around the main characters #there are also gonna be side characters #and i have a plot in mind #i may continue posting about this if people continue to show interest #tw gore mention #tw self harm #tw murder

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swimfuel · 3 years

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okay humanstuck thoughts under the cut

i owe a lot of this to @/rhythmic-idealist's kankri/vantasposting bc holy shit theyve got such a big brain (ill link to their individual posts when im on desktop since im using this to keep all my thoughts straight and i agree with most of what they say wholeheartedly)

general status quo stuff:

signless works in an extremely demanding career involving helping others (i'm leaning towards an attorney who works with organizations and does pro bono work), and is also extensively involved in social justice work outside of his job... he is very rarely home

he loves and cares for his children deeply and tries to express it whenever they're face to face, but the couch in his cramped and messy office has seen far too much use over the years for him to have been able to say it enough

his habits of working himself to the point of exhaustion are handily passed down to his kids btw

the kids had to grow up quickly because signless was out of the house so often and so consistently—kankri, who was already pretty high-strung, has to learn to take care of himself and karkat

they grow up near ms firuzeh maryam, who's their pseudoaunt/grandma (she took in a nine year old kavana vantas when she was about twenty), but they just call her ms rosa

they spent a lot of time in the maryam house growing up, with miss rosa's two nieces. porrim is a year older than kankri, while kanaya and karkat are the same age

kankri grows kinda sensitive to people trying to mother him since it rubs against the notion that he's the "adult of the house" and that he can take care of himself and karkat just fine

(and it also kinda underlines the fact that kankri has no idea what he's doing at the best of times)

and ironically enough, kankri becomes overbearing and naggy towards karkat in his own right, which forestalls them becoming close in any brotherly sort of way

they grow up really just... unable to communicate with one another clearly

karkat develops his ornery exterior in response to kankri's constant stream of opinions and frantic attempts at making up for the presence of a guardian in the house

i think there would actually be some really interesting parallels with rose in this au.. maybe i'm drawing from my own experiences as well but i think he'd begin to assume that every time his brother opens his mouth, he's going to criticize karkat

but instead of reacting like rose with the "making yourself more of a puzzle"/passive aggressive stuff, he gets a more defensive/hackles raised/"argue with you before you can argue with me" approach

and the thing is that they do love each other and would take a bullet for the other etc etc etc.. but they don't know how to express it because they've fallen into these shitty patterns

and it really doesn't help that kankri has grown somewhat resentful of signless over the years... that mix of resentment and fear and love gets more extreme and more polar every time signless gets injured during a political demonstration

i think kankri and signless would also be slightly closer than karkat and signless, as signless' job really only started to ramp up when karkat was less than years old and kankri was in his early double digits

kankri autistic btw its word of god (i am god)

karkat has a pet crab. its name is also karkat. he vents his frustrations to it.

i feel like the vantases exemplify both the best and worst parts of their aspects with one another as well... the strength of their bonds keeps them together and grounded, but TOO grounded. [insert Blood rant here]

the Blood rant:

i define Blood as bonds, responsibility, and the "core". if Life is the fertile soil and everything living on a planet's surface, then Blood is the gravitational core of the planet keeping everything together

i also think Blood, Heart, & Mind work in tandem to define a person just as blood serves to connect the pieces of the human body... Heart is the soul and the self, Mind is the application of one's self through active choices (agency), while Blood defines both the self and the choices one makes in greater detail [and, as an aside, Life provides the physical spark of life needed to keep the heart pumping blood]

OKAY wow that got tangential anyways

SO BASICALLY! too much Blood makes you stagnate, so for example:

kankri is split between staying home with karkat or going to college across the country and being truly unbound for the first time in years

another crisis of Blood: signless is caught between his empathy and responsibility to the whole world and his responsibility to his own children

okay so here's more status quo stuff:

the maryam and vantas kids grow up together and its hilarious because you'll see them all together and its just like (girlboss) (girlboss) (physical manlet) (emotional manlet)

the maryam girls are actually miss rosa's nieces but she took them in when they were both pretty young

the pyropes know the vantases well enough considering pyrope senior and sign have known one another from their respective legal practices for years, but they live on the other side of town

the leijons lived in town when kankri and meulin were very young, but they moved and travelled for a long time before coming back and reestablishing their roots

the captors (psii being one of sign's oldest and closest friends) move into town with the peixes family pretty early on though

the condesce is.. a horrible spouse and guardian, to put it plainly. she's very emotionally manipulative and isn't averse to smacking people around, including her own family. she moves herself and her perfect little family into town so she can properly oversee a new business venture close by

feferi is one of the best young swimmers in the country and has a pretty good shot of getting onto the olympic team.. a lot of this drive to be perfect and to be better results from the condesce's unrelenting pressure and thinly veiled resentment throughout her whole life

so yeah psii, )(ic, feferi, and sollux all live together and it's really not great for anyone involved. (meenah ran away years ago, and crashed on aranea's couch for a pretty long while—mituna moved out with latula for college before psii and the condesce got married)

it gets bad to the point of sollux staying with the maryams for two months while the adults try to sort out that absolute clusterfuck and get the divorce proceedings going (meenah finally convinces feferi to get out and come stay with her and aranea for the duration as well)

in terms of relationships i think latula and porrim were really really close in high school, and probably had some kind of unacknowledged thing going on for a while that never actually turned into anything because latula and mituna were going steady

kankri has had a crush on latula for years but never acted on it for similar reasons

meenah still carries a lot of that give no fucks attitude (it's developed moreso as a defense mechanism here) and can't understand why feferi refuses to leave the condesce with her

okay back to VANTAS MANPAIN i also think that karkat feels the weight of a lot of expectations on his shoulders as well

he feels responsible to live up to the example his dad and his brother set, even if it's to his own detriment—and kankri's oblivious rambling about his grades and his teachers and all his clubs certainly aren't helping the matter

kankri is one of those overinvolved kids taking a million AP's while simultaneously shitting on the collegeboard at every single step

hes this super overachiever anal retentive perfectionist type dude and (just as karkat preemptively criticizes others to forestall their criticisms of him only to harshly criticize himself) kankri subconsciously holds the people around him to the same expectations he holds for himself

so karkat also develops this sense of lacking which, in combination with everything else, culminates in self loathing and thinking he has to solve everyone else's problems and getting horribly mad at himself for every little mistake

GOD i have a lot more but lemme post this before i accidentally close out of the app and lose it all

more little details:

vriska's mom and terezi's mom HATE each other like HATE HATE HATE one another it's so bad

karkat wrote a ten page review of my immortal in middle school

jade is one of nepeta's best online friends

sollux can't raise one eyebrow at a time.. karkat gives him so much grief about it

the vantases eat a lot of shitty renditions of persian dishes until karkat learns to cook because literally the only person in the world with a CHANCE of getting KANKRI VANTAS to make an EDIBLE DISH is miss rosa

kanaya is really good at persian dance too but is VERY VERY embarassed to perform in front of people.. however porrim definitely is not

karkat has insomnia while kankri just stays up stupidly late for assignments that really shouldnt be taken that seriously.. but they both have the same rumination/sleep anxiety thing where your brain goes insane with horrible and depressing scenarios as you try to sleep

and more ideas that i thought were interesting but idk how to fit in the context of this au:

signless and disciple getting married pretty late in life after having been in love for years, the vantases move in with the leijons and karkat suddenly has two sisters

nepeta and karkat are both juniors at this point, meulin is probably in her third year at a local college nearby while kankri is about to start his second year at a university pretty far away

the kids in general honestly but ill figure it out

more random hcs this time with kids:

kanaya and rose get into a flame war online that gradually settles into elaborate courtship rituals

also nepeta + jade online besties

also bec can inexplicably still teleport

the first sbahj movie comes out and the next six months of dave strider junior's high school career are absolute hell

actually hc that dave senior goes by d strider professionally. the d stands for a lot of things

aradia and dave frequent a lot of the same forums but never end up really interacting

meanwhile karkat and john frequent a lot of the same forums and DEFINITELY end up interacting. this turns into grudging (at least on karkat's part) friendship after they find themselves fighting for their lives defending an objectively shitty movie together on the same thread

#humanstuck #vantas family #.

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i-simp-for-gintoki · 4 years

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JuJutsu Kaisen school headcanons

“some jjk school headcanons? not with a reader or anything but just how itadori and the other first years are in school?”-anon

This was pretty fun! Each character is pretty short but it still turned out longer than it needed to be oops.

So we all know that theres a proper private school to teach upcoming shamans. Tokyo Metropolitan Curse Technical College...thats a long ass name no wonder i didn’t remember it. But in the manga and anime, they dont exactly go into details of what they do for the school(i might be completely wrong just lemme know)

In the yuuta 4 chapter story, we kinda get a glimpse

Gojo is one of the few teachers and he teaches first years in a small classroom. i dont know what exactly he teaches but sometimes they go outside to train and well when yuuta and the others were training i forget if he was actually teaching anything. Like he gave him a sword to help with his powers and gave a brief explanation but thats about it.

Anyways.

Itadori Yuji:

Is late to class for the first couple days since he doesn’t remember the lay out of the campus

Its so huge for so little people

Sometimes he’s late just cause he slept in

doesnt really understand whats going on

He only just recently learned this world existed so of course he’s out of the loop with everything

he probably naps in class alot or spaces out

‘If i were to feed sukuna’s mouth on my hand...where would the food go? What would happen? How deep does it go? What the hell has my body become??’

As his thoughts continue to derail, gojo would call on him and he might yell in response

he often asks megumi or nobara for help but they just dis him or ignore him

He tries to study! He really does! But he gets distracted and loses focus quite easily

during training he gets super excited thinking hes going to unlock abilities

but thats quickly shot down and hes usually just forced to do something really mundane like run laps or jumping jacks

He might get another dummy to help control his cursed energy while gojo does his best to annoy him (honestly it doesnt take much for gojo to be annoying)

believes everything gojo says

The blindfolded teacher definitely uses that to his advantage

“if you lick this rock it might help your overall abilities” “...really?” “are you doubting your sensei?” “is that...mud?” “Its just part of the rock. Besides you ate a rotten old finger for power im sure you can deal with a little bit of dirt”

He got sick for a week

Fushiguro Megumi:

Hes the kid who sits by the window and just stares out of it the whole class

He finds gojo’s teaching style incredibly annoying

Yes he learns stuff but because of the way Gojo teaches it, he ends up doubting all the knowledge he knew before in the process

Probably does well on tests or whatever homework their assigned

This kid probably makes himself a neat little bento for lunch

During lunch Yuji saw it and asked if he could have one next time instead of always buying food

He rejected his request for a while

But eventually he decided ‘why not its not like it would take that much more effort’

Nobara saw and was like “oh so you made one for a dunce like him but not me?”

Queue a large sigh

Within a month or two he makes everybody lunch (gojo included because he got tired of him always coming by and swiping a bit of food from everyone)

During training he pets his animals quite a bit

When gojo demonstrates a new self defense technique, megumi always gets picked to help demonstrate

110% of the time it ends up with his face being smeared into the floor

Wont ever admit it but he kinda enjoys class with yuji and nobara

Kugisaki Nobara:

Pretty short since i don’t quite know her character that well sorry

I feel like shes a mix of passing but also failing idk

Like during some tests she’d pass with flying colors and without a doubt will show off to the boys

But in other things she’d completely flunk

Draws little doodles in the corner of her notes and thinks about her childhood friend

During training she dislikes learning hand to hand combat

Mainly because she knows shes not capable of beating yuji and that ticks her off

So instead she beats him with her rubber mallet when given the chance

When yuji asks her to join him and megumi, she often complains or makes sassy comments but she never really ignores them

If she wanted to she could just hang by her self but she enjoys being with the two

Gojo Satoru:

This guy never shows up on time

Once he almost did so he simply turned around and decided not to show up at all

He doesn’t necessarily dislike teaching, but he finds giving detailed explanations kinda boring

‘I just told you what would happen, so why are you asking for a reasoning of the reaction’

He wants his students to have a fun teenage life so he often cuts class short by an hour or two just to hang out or go out

He explains how to counter certain types of curses or what to do in some scenarios pretty well

Gojo tries to teach regular stuff like math or history but...i dont know actually

Im not sure if he would happily teach it or just give up after a couple problems

I have a feeling he might just randomly give stupid hard problems and laugh as the first years struggle and fail to solve it

If any of his students do well on a test he’ll give them a small treat

And it may be small for him but its probably hella expensive

I mean he literally just wears clothing that is a couple thousand dollars each

His socks are most likely worth more than my house and everything inside it

Theres probably a small rule book of what he’s supposed to say and what hes not supposed to say

So just to piss the old man off he says everything he shouldnt

He encourages stupid behavior and absoluetly loves it when Yuji and Nobara thanks him for getting treats

#jujust kaisen #jjk headcanons #itadori yuji #fushiguro megumi #kugisaki nobara #gojo satoru #jjk

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sansxfuckyou · 3 years

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a big happy family!

(so anyways i just messed with the timelines)

izuku had been cast out onto the streets at a rather young age when he was diagnosed quirkless, of course that diagnose was wrong. izuku had a quirk, a rare one to boot! but it was rather... subtle. his quirk had to do with a rare trait in old rpgs and the such. he was a berserker if induced with the right substances. he learned that the when some drunk hobo spilt alcohol onto izuku, who had been beat up, cut and bruised earlier that day. the alcohol running through his veins combined with his dna, blood cells and rna after a very short window of time. the new substance in his system, boosted his abilities but caused him to loose all sense of control. he killed the hobo in bloody murder, it was a short burst because it was only a few drops in his bloodline, but even that much was enough to force him into a berserk state.

izuku stumbled down the alleys from the fresh corpse, that one caused by caffene entering his bloodline. often times when he recovered from his scenes he could find himself with a chunk of the flesh in his mouth.

he hated that the most. out of everything his quirk did to him. that was the worst through his eyes.

but he couldnt lie, it felt right to him.

"how many have died at my hands?" he thought looking down at his arms, the fresh blood trickled down to his hands, he went to lick off the blood recoiling in disgust at his own actions.

"i-i shouldnt do i'll get addicted." izuku claimed out loud as he pulled his toques tails a little bit to cover his ears as he made his way to his box that used to have a tardis in it, so in turn it was roomy. "more addicted than i already am..." he said as he started to suckle on his blood coated arm, taking in as much of the iron he could.

he stayed huddled up in the corner of the box with a blanket looking out at the yellow tinted light in the alley. he stayed their for a while before starting to fall asleep, jolting up when he heard a few footsteps nearby.

he stood up making his way to the opening of his box, greeted by a blonde girl with a crazed smile and buns in her hair, wearing a school girl styled outfit.

"hi! im himiko toga!" she said as she put out her hand for izuku to shake which he did with no hesitation.

"im izuku midoriya." he said.

"nice to know you!" toga said happily as she pulled out a knife and raised it sending it back down rapidly aimed at izukus heart, the boy not flinch or edging back at all.

"impressive... anyone else would have flinched or tried to run from me when i draw my knife to test them!" toga said with a light giggle.

"why should i flinch? i know how to fight, and your knife has alcohol on it." izuku said as he grabbed the knife from toga who was going to question how izuku knew. "i can smell it, ive grown accustomed to the scent." he explained having toga do the 'oh...' thing.

"but it makes no sense still, i was aiming for your heart. if i hit it would have a high chance of killing you." the blonde said.

"i would explain it, but your the hot new killer on the street arent you?" izuku asked having toga nod with a smile.

"of course i am! why else would i be here?" she questioned.

"to kill me so you have the spotlight all to your pretty little self toga deary." izuku said matter of factly.

"i see your point izu. but instead om here to recruit you!" toga claimed happily izuku in slight shock.

"to what?" izuku asked.

"the league of villians! im their newest so they sent me to recruit you, so you wouldnt be scared!" toga explained.

"but dont you know that im dangerous? if my quirk activates i could kill all of you." izuku said as toga took hold of his hand.

"so? same with all of us." toga said.

"but im an outcast..." izuku said as he looked at his arms, the blood dried and starting to chip away.

"we know, and so are we! where like a big, happy family!" toga said giggling a little bit as she started to walk off, izuku following close behind.

"how long have you known that im an outcast?" izuku asked.

"since you where outcast!" toga said as she took a turn to another alleyway.

"what about my quirk?" izuku questioned having toga giggle.

"its a berserker quirk silly! rare and strong!" toga said excitedly. "and dont worry we know what to do to keep you deactivated."

"right..." izuku said quietly.

"do you want to join us?" toga asked.

"of course i do!" izuku said as a mist man appeared as a portal toga pulling izuku through.

"welcome aboard deku." an explosive blonde said izuku freezing at the voice as he turned his head.

"k-kachan? is that really you?" izuku asked as he got up and dusted himself off walking over to bakugo.

"of course its me, nerd." bakugo said as he got up from his chair a Manhattan in his gloved hand.

"why are you here anyways?" izuku asked. "its not like you where outcast like me, jackass." izuku growled under his breath.

"their was a 'slime inncident' and no one came to save me except her." bakugo said gesturing to toga.

"what can i say, he looked strong and a new family is always welcome!" toga said with a sheepish laugh.

"where you the one who sent her to get me?" izuku asked.

"nope, he did." bakugo purred as he walked over to izuku and gestured to a reject gucci bag.

"hi, im dabi." the pleather man said.

"nice to meet you dabi, im izuku." izuku said holding out his hand to shake which dabi did slowly.

"as im sure toga explained earlier with great enthusiasm, your a part of our family now." dabi said shrugging his shoulders. "want a drink?"

"i'll pass." izuku said.

"why not deku?" bakugo asked. "its just a shot."

"if it enters my bloodline i'll go berserk and kill most of you in a crazed frenzy." izuku said rather calmly.

"relax, we made sure that this brew wont, took a while but it'll be worth it." dabi said kurogiri sliding over a shot of the special brew dabi grabbing it and handing to izuku.

"you sure?" izuku asked looking at the dark yellow brew shakily.

"go for it nerd! and remember bottoms up!" bakugo said having izuku tip it. "its good right?" bakugo asked.

"yeah it really is." izuku said as he slammed down the empty glass on the bar, kurogiri refilling it.

"its almost better than blood isnt it?" toga asked having izuku nod the others cringing in disgust.

"blood?" bakugo questioned.

"its tasty what can i say?" izuku said having bakugo gag.

"they hate it." toga said leaning next to izuku, as she sipped a shot of animal blood, form shifting to that of the ultimate true furry.

"weird." izuku said as a handy man walked out.

"ah, boss. meet the new recruit." kurogiri said sliding over a shot.

"welcome to the family." the handy man said putting out his hand to shake with izuku who refused the shake.

"ive heard of you, tomura shigiraki, your quirk is decaying anyone or anything if you touch it with all five fingers." izuku said.

"interesting... your friend bakugo shook my hand, and now hes gloved." shigiraki said gesturing to bakugo.

"that prevents him from fully using his quirk, if you know anything about his quirk its that he needs his hands to activate the explosion." izuku explained.

"oh no i got him really bad, take a look." tomura said having bakugo take off the glove.

parts of his fingers where gone and his palm was cracked. "my quirk doesnt even work anymore with this hand." bakugo said ruefully, sliding the glove back on. "im just a shitty support until all for one figure out how to improve me." bakugo growled throwing back another shot.

"we heard news on the street of you when toga was getting some food and other stuff she needed." shigiraki said.

"its not my fault i have two x chromosomes." toga said smugly.

"you know its your fault!" shigiraki exclaimed.

"what shigiraki was trying to say was that we needed a new brother for our family and we thought you would do great." dabi said.

"yeah, yeah can we hurry up and try to kill allmight already." izuku asked snapping the others from what they where doing.

"allmight? what beef do you have with him." bakugo growled the others agreeing with his notion.

"he considers everyone expendable, look at the evidence." izuku said.

"we already realized that years ago izu, he couldnt care less about anyone but himself and his reputation." toga said.

"yeah, it would make sense you realized that already." izuku said. "how come we cant just go and kill him?" izuku asked.

"we havent gotten the ok from all for one yet." dabi said.

"but can we at least try and kill endeavor?" izuku questioned hearing dabi growl and clench his fists sparking a few flames.

"i wish..." dabi muttered under his breath.

"whats your beef with endeavor?" izuku asked.

"i dont like to talk about it." dabi said.

"endeavors his dad." shigiraki said.

"damn..." izuku said quietly.

"we havent been able to try and get endeavor yet, thats why hes salty." toga said.

"lets go get him then, all for one wont mind." izuku said punching his fists together with a smirk.

"wh-what?! all for one will kill us!" shigiraki said worriedly.

"so? just blame it on me, i wont mind dying if it means helping someone get their bloody vengeance." izuku said smiling. "are we going or not?" izuku asked.

"im coming." dabi said standing up.

"i am to." bakugo said.

"count me in." toga said.

"everyone else is, so i am to." shigiraki said as kurogiri opened a portal and they walked through after grabbing a can of alcohol and a knife to get some in izukus bloodline.

the five walked through the todoroki houshold hearing screaming, dabi took an instant turn to the sound, making his way across the house like it was the back of his hand, the other four following close behind. dabi opened one door, finding two with icy white hair and red highlights, each turning their gaze from their bowls of soba.

"thank god your both ok, i never shouldve let you with dad." dabi said running over and hugging both of them.

"t-toya?" the female asked dabi nodding.

"what are you doing here?! dadll kill you if he finds you!" the guy said worriedly.

"natsuo, i wont die." dabi said wiping a tear from the blondes eye.

"promise?" the female asked.

"i promise fuyumi." dabi said. "wait, wheres shoto?" dabi asked fear evident in his voice the other twos expression crestfallen.

"dads 'training' him again, thats whose screaming." fuyumi said standing up with natsuo.

"how about mom?" dabi asked.

"she spilt tea on todorokis eye." natsuo said.

"lets go get him." dabi stated as he exited the room everyone else following to where the screaming originated.

the entered the room finding shoto on the ground, half dead in a pile of puke and sweat, being kicked in the side by endeavor.

"get up! training isnt done yet!" endeavor said harshly having shoto pick himself up off the floor staggering and stumbling as he moved around just barely.

"d-dad, i cant go any longer..." shoto weakly said as he tried to dodge a punch ending up with it landing in his gut, knocking shoto back a few feet landing on his side, only fueling dabis rage further.

"yes you can!" endeavor said launching a flame at shoto which was blcoked by an ice shot from fuyumi who had dashed over to protect the younger, natsuo joining her. "what are you failures doing here?!" endeavor questioned as he tried to hit them away with fire to no avail.

"where here to protect our little brother." natsuo said launching another stream of ice in a wall like form so fuyumi could pick up shoto who was just barely keeping his eyes open.

"your little brother! hes my legacy! nothing more than that!" endeavor claimed not noticing dabi who had snuck up from behind and gripped onto endeavors neck furiously sparking flames.

"correction, their my little brothers and sister and its my job to protect them from a monster like you." dabi said grimly.

"can i get a sample?" toga asked giddily.

"of course you can sis." dabi said. "take as much as you want."

"yay!" toga exclaimed as she ran up to endeavor and shoved various needles and syringes into his chest extracting as much blood as she could hold.

"fuyumi! take shoto and get him some health care with natsuo!" dabi ordered having them do as told as dabi dropped down endeavor who was surrounded by the team of five.

"t-toya?" endeavor asked holding onto his chest.

"i go by dabi now, maybe if you ever cared for me you could call me toya." dabi said.

"should we use him?" shigiraki asked.

"yeah should we release him?" bakugo asked.

"sure." dabi said tossing the can and knife to izuku who cut open his arm and let the wound open before popping the can.

"might want to leave for this one." izuku said having the others leave.

izuku poured the brew into his deep, wound the alcohol taking a minute or two to enter his bloodline and alter his genetics. his eyes glazed over white and then red, his muscle mass boosting slightly, senses enhancing, his vision turning to a heat signature being able to see in the low light that presented itself, his teeth turning to fangs, and his ability to think straight gone.

his only thought was to kill.

he staggered towards endeavor who got into a fight position, seemingly sure of his ability to beat the warrior who lunged once he got close enough begining to tear at the flesh endeavor just barely being able to escape izuku the first time, who had earned one arm from the attack.

but that wasnt enough to satisfy his lust to kill.

it never was.

he continued to attack endeavor tearing out part of his vocal chords, so his screams sounded demonic and rotted. izuku continued in that manner tearing out organ after organ and limb after limb, having them spread across the room with blood coating the floor in puddles and light splashes.

the five waited outside the room listening to the screams from endeavor until they fully stopped, only hearing the sound of a rabid animal gnawing on a chunk of flesh.

"should we go in?" shigiraki asked.

"naw, hes still in the zone even though he finished the job." bakugo said. "he'll be done when the gnawing stops." bakugo explained.

"makes enough sense to me." dabi said as fuyumi walked back with shoto who was wrapped in bandages. "shoto! your safe!" dabi said happily as he picked up shoto and hugged him.

"w-who are you?" shoto asked.

"its me toya, i just died my hair, same old me." dabi said as a few tears came to his eyes.

"please dont leave us again." shoto said.

"i wont ever leave you guys again." dabi said.

"how cute!" toga said happily. "can they join our family?" toga asked giddily.

"only if they want to." dabi said.

"i do, not sure about the others but i do." natsuo said.

"i can drop teaching, i'll join!" fuyumi said.

"how about you shoto?" dabi asked putting down his brother.

"of course i do. i mean why wouldnt i want to be with my family." shoto said matter of factly.

"yay!" toga said as she pulled fuyumi into a tight hug. "sister fuyumi and brother natsuo, lets have lots of fun!" toga said.

"of course we will toga!" natsuo said.

"hey i think the gnawing stopped." shigiraki said looking through a crack in the door finding the room covered in blood splatters, izuku in the center of it all coated in blood licking it off as though he was a cat a few flesh ridden bones beside him. "yeah hes done." shigiraki said.

"alright." toga said opening the door rushing over to izuku.

"want some?" izuku asked as he held out his arm to which toga answered with starting to suckle on it carefully trying not to open up to many of izukus pat wounds, failing seeing as how she morphed into a mix of izuku and endeavor.

"tasty." she commented continuing to suck on izukus arm, the others watching in disgust.

"deku." bakugo said deadpan lifting izukus attention from the leg he was gnawing on.

"are you eating dad?" natsuo asked.

"why not? hes delicious." izuku said dropping the clean bone wiping the blood from his eye lids.

"please tell me you didnt eat his-"

"of course not! thats disgusting!" izuku said not even letting shoto finish, hearing a sigh of relief from the todorokis.

"should we head back and tell the boss the news?" shigiraki said looking at the three new team members.

"i dont, i kind of want to hang around for a little bit." dabi said. "but then again... we should probably tell the boss kurogiri."

"im sure kuro will be happy." toga said.

"yeah, lets go home." bakugo said as a vortex of mist opened up having the three younger todorokis flinch.

"come on." izuku said grabbing shotos hand and pulling him threw followed by fuyumi and natsuo.

"who are the new guys?' kurogiri asked gesturing to new ones.

"my siblings, fuyumi, natsuo and shoto." dabi said as kurogiri slid down four shots.

"one for each of you." kurogiri said having the three new siblings look at the shots in question. "i didnt spike them." kurogiri said having natsuo tip it followed by fuyumi and then shoto.

" now that, that is some good shit!" natsuo said as he slid the glass back down having kurogiri refill it and slide it back, dabi blocking it on the way down. "what?" natsuo asked.

"i know your a light drinker nat." dabi said tipping the drink, allowing fuyumis refilled cup to slide over.

"how come she gets a second shot?" natsuo whined.

"fuyumi can chug a bottle of whiskey and still be sober." dabi said as kurogiri slid down another shot, and one to shoto. "thats why." dabi said promptly as a shot of blood was slid to izuku and toga and a Manhaten to bakugo.

"thanks kuro." bakugo said as he fulfilled the ancient verse with toga and izuku each letting out a breath of relief and pleasure.

"pleasures mine." kurogiri said as he walked round front and picked up shoto who didnt seem to mind.

"hi..." shoto said quietly, kurogiris mind made up.

"hes my child now." kurogiri said hearing dabi sigh.

"kuro, no." dabi said.

"but i- fine." kurogiri said putting down shoto who latched onto the mist mans side.

"guess he likes you, you can have him." fuyumi said knocking back another shot.

"cmon, please let me have one mroe shot..." natsuo whined.

"fine." dabi said as kurogiri slid down one more drink.

"thanks bro." natsuo said as he knocked it back.

"you dont get nymore though." dabi said as kurogiri tried to slide another one over to shoto having it get blocked by dabi.

"dont even think about kuro." dabi growled.

"can we use the shots as a treat system?' kurogiri asked.

"yes." dabi said.

"what a lovely family we have." bakugo said elbowing izuku gently.

"agreed." izuku said as toga latched onto the green haired boy from behind arms over his shoulders.

"im tired..." toga whined.

"of course you are sis." bakugo said ruffling her hair playfully.

"can we get sleep?" izuku asked.

"we dont have enough spare beds, so some of us will have to share a bed." bakugo said.

"you can share with me and baku!" toga said cheerfully.

"sounds fine with me." izuku said.

"follow me." bakugo said leading them back to his and togas room gesturing two the double wide bed which toga hopped into the middle of izuku joining to the left bakugo taking the right.

"this is much better than my box." izuku said as he huddled closer to toga wrapping his arms around the blond, bakugo doing the same.

"good night you two." toga said as she started to drift off to sleep with bakugo and izuku.

THE END

#mha #bnha #izuku midoriya #toga himiko #dabi #league of villains #twice #all for one #kurogiri #katsuki bakugo #tomura shigiraki #fuyumi todoroki #natsuo todoroki #shoto todoroki

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numbaoneflaya · 3 years

Note

You can count on me to pull up with a thousand of questions sbdhdh. A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ; A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ; A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ; A9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A3, A22, C5, D3, F3 for Jilly ;

A3.Do they have any emotional or psychological conditions? Are they aware of it? Do they try to treat it?

Shawty got that stockholm syndrome in a way. She is…. Sometimes aware of it, though she wouldn't call it that any more. Maybe at first in the basement she was more aware, but now that she can come and go she thinks its a thing of the past. tries not to dwell on it. Kind of in a “well its literally not that bad its kind of fun its kind of romantic were just quirky <3” way, will get mad if someone insists she has stockholm or that the relationship is fucked. Will get enraged and upset on Vincent's behalf, probably cry and yell at you.

A22. Is your OC intended to be found generally attractive? Unattractive? Average? Is there a reason why?

I intended her to be fairly average, maybe kind of cute. It's generally the way she dresses/acts in public that draws attention, not her looks. I tend to make most of my ocs on the average scale besides a select few.

C5. Do your OC’s morals and rules of common decency go out the window when it comes to those they don’t like, or when it’s inconvenient? Aka, are their morals situational?

Good question…. Jillys morals are pretty simple- always be kind and nice, murder and hurting other people is bad, and you shouldnt lie. She sticks to those pretty strictly herself despite the situations she gets put in, often to her own detriment. But she doesn't always put a stop to those behaviors from the people she surrounds herself with, so she's sort of accomplice to bad acts of violence just by not snitching. So somewhat situational? She tries not to think about it.

D3. How comfortable are they with the idea of death?

Not comfortable! She hadn't seen a lot of it before her early twenties and was always sort of sheltered. dead fish are flushed down the toilet bcs they go to the ocean to live again, right? Thought cows and such all died of old age peacefully before they were made into burgers until she was like… twelve. 💀Won't kill mice and other critters despite her prey drive bcs she would feel too bad. And this is just for animal death, she's much more uncomfortable with human death. Also a thing she tries to ignore.

F3. Could they ever live in a “tiny home”?

God no. She hates small spaces unless she's hiding in them and tiny homes have no room for all the shit she stashes! No room for zoomies, or climbing on the furniture, or wrestling around on the floor. It would be filled with junk within a week.

A18, A23, B9, C1, H2 for Nirn ;

A18. Do they get jealous easily? Do they feel bad if they do?

He's never had much to be jealous of, as he's never really been over involved in romantic relationships. They were usually mutually beneficial and somewhat clinical in nature. Hes also pretty sure of himself and his value as an asset and lover. If he finds someone who peaks his interest and they become an item though, he might get jealous if he catches them flirting with other people. Hell be peeved at first but know flirtation in business has its value, so to make himself feel better might flirt with someone else while they are nearby. Make a game of it, see who wins.

A23. Does your OC place much importance on their appearance? Do they feel confident in it?

Appearances are crucial to him and spends a lot of time and money making sure he looks his best. He needs to appear above the rabble and impenetrable, dressing well and having immaculate posture and an air of both grace and otherworldliness.

B9. What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Definitely not one to find fart jokes funny. Very rarely laughs genuinely or full heartedly, he keeps all his expressions of emotion close to his chest. Sharp sardonic wit is appealing to him in the right circumstances, even a jab directed at himself can make him chuckle if it's well formed enough. Irony almost always gets him, even if its dark irony or gallows humor. Bit of a hard nut to crack. Would laugh enough that hed have to cover his mouth with his hand if he were to see Felix fall face first into mud, though. More often than not you can tell he finds something amusing by a gleam in his eyes and a slight squint.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

Well he used to have a real moral code :/. Now I mean…. The ends justify the means. By any means necessary. He considers his family's needs first, then the good of the world, then any individual in the world. Has ordered executions of entire families, had babies stolen and sent away, sent armies to certain death knowing full well they would all die, commanded individuals be tortured for information, sacrificed many in what he considers to be a game of chess where he is the player and others are the pawns. He finds senseless violence and savagery to be unforgivable, but if violence has a sense and purpose to employ it, then he will do so.

H2. Is your OC a thoughtful partner, in whatever aspect of that you want to cover?

Nirn tends to be a very thoughtful and attentive person in general, just for the wrong reasons lmaoooo. But with a lover? He's going to be utilizing that to show them how much he cares and using his powers for good. Mention you like a certain fabric while shopping one time and then complain your favorite tunic has a wine stain in it several months later, he's going to be taking your measurements for a new one in your preferred material without a moment's notice. Very keen on picking up moods, expressions and tone. Also has a very good memory. He doesn't really think about it but gifts are how he shows his love. Also a great attentive listener.

A5,B9, C8, D1, I5, for Thurwen ;

A5. Are they good at handling change in their life?

I would say so, yeah. Shes been used to things constantly changing since she was little and has had little to no control on outside influences. Shes also not one to over think about the past and lament, shes more of a one foot in front of the other, the only time is the present kind of gal. Of course large changes like becoming a warden were a bit more severe, but shes mostly able to think in the present as long as she has immediate problems to deal with.

B9.What kind of humor does your OC like the most? Slapstick, ironic, funny sounds, scare pranks, xD sO rAnDoM…

Slapstick is always gonna make her laugh as long as nobody gets seriously hurt, even if its her own ass tripping into a tree. Not a fan of scare pranks, 0/10 recommend trying to scare Thurwen. You will end up with a broken nose at best and an angry elf. Likes puns, but she's the one to groan at them and try and hide the grin spreading across her face. Gallows humor but only if its her in the gallows, otherwise doesn't find it funny at all. If a little kid calls someone a fartcicle she will be tears in the eyes giggling, which is hard when your warden commander and everyone looks toward you to be serious and mature gyshsdhdfsghsd.

C8. Is your OC more practical or ideal morally? I.e., do they hold people to high expectations of behavior even if it’s not realistic for the situation, or do they have a more realistic approach and adapt their morality to be more practical?

She definitely holds herself to moral ideals and is very hard on herself, but has realistic moral expectations for others. She can understand self serving and people only wanting to survive and she will only give people a little bit of shit for it, no one's perfect. But then she expects herself to be perfect and berates herself constantly for not living up to the hero of ferelden warden commander ideals.

D1. How religious is your OC? What do they practice, if anything? If they don’t associate with any religion, what do they think of religion in general?

Atheist ever since her mom died when she was a kid, but now Shes in a weird mixed state ever since the urn of sacred ashes where shes like. fuck the maker, but Andraste is cool I guess. So respects/believes in the power of Andraste while thinking the maker is a piece of shit and the chantry sucks ass. Even she doesnt know what she really believes, but she did see the ghosts of Andrastes disciples and Shartan, used her ashes as healing salve, killed an old god, etc. So shes been in a weird place recently, crisis of faith/non faith pretty continual.

I5. Are they a good cook?

I mean…. She can cook basics. Shes been feeding herself and the alienage kids since she was old enough to walk so she knows how to get protein and make things edible. Does it taste good? Probably not. She didnt see her first spice till she was 17 years old, but she can skin a rabbit in seven seconds.

LA9, A13, C1, E8, and G6 for Valkya? 😏

A9. Does your OC make a lot of excuses? For themselves? Others?

She tries to excuse bad behavior of herself or others a lot, yeah fgdgdsfhdhs. Mostly she doesnt have to make excuses for herself because she can wholeheartedly be like “yeah i fucked up but whatever im sexy and large and awesome and everyone loves me 🙄whatever baby” and when other people fuck up shes pretty sympathetic even though they are not as large nor as sexy. Shes very used to forgiving and excusing herself its totally alien to her when she really fucks up and is suddenly like wait… valkya…. Did bad?? What is this feeling. Shame?? Guilt?? IMPOSSIBLE.

A13. Does your OC have any phobias? If so, where did they come from?

She hates those giant bugs in morrowind and valenwood a whole fucking lot but I wouldnt exactly place it as a phobia. Those huge mosquitoes and haorvers got no respect but she really hates the morrowind bugs ever since they knocked her over and jumped her while she was pants down peeing drunk as hell in the sand :/ never forgave. Never forgot.

C1. Does your OC have a moral code? If not, how do they base their actions? If so, where does it come from, and how seriously do they take it?

She was raised in a healthy household that tought the basics, prety much “harming others needlessly, stealing, torture, rape, dessecrating the dead, being selfish and not doing right by others, etc etc all basic bad things” are her morals. Her morality is basically treat others how you want to be treated. And if they treat you badly, then have fun beating the shit out of them to show everyone else not to fuck with you. Its a pretty nordic morality in that way. Her morality is also since she was ‘blessed’ with being so large and strong, that she has to also look out for the little guy who cant protect themselves. So If someone treats them how valkya wouldn't want to be treated, then beat the shit out of the person harming them to show them the little guys got backup. Her parents raised her to be a hero and thats p much how she sees herself, which has its benefits and its fuckin problems.

E8. What’s one of your OC’s biggest regrets?

Fucking up Dem and Dariens relationship for sure dude :/ valkya always gonna be sulking over that one. She doesnt regret becoming a vestige, even though it would have made her so much happier not to be because it ended up saving so many people and the world. She regrets not spending more time with Naryu, regrets always having other life saving business she had to run off to, regrets not cherishing the time they had together. Regrets not telling Lyris how she feels, either. Regrets not being able to save as many people as she should have, regrets she wasnt stronger in coldharbor and didnt break out herself. But she tries not to think about it <3

G6. Do they have any favorite childhood memories?

When she was seven she once spent two months training to hold her breath underwater, because her cousin always held it longer and won the gold bet. She trained for hours almost drowning in the river until she could comfortably hold it for up to three minutes. During the next holiday when they all got together again the competitions were on and they both went under- her cousin won, holding their breath for four more minutes before they decided to come up. This was the first lesson she learned that shocked her world view- you always need to know your opponents capabilities. (after she lost 26 gold in the bets, her mother later had to inform her that her cousin was an argonian.)

#thank u beloved this was good to go thru while in class when i should have been paying attention gfhsdhds #valkya #jilly #nirn #thurwen #the ladies and the gilf #presented without evidence; valkya be stupit kinda :/#HOW DO U DO URS SO FAST... SUPER POWERS

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