#i shouldnt even have gone closer to my friends. i knew my mood wouldnt improve. and yet i only made them worry from my selfishness
Text
Everyday feels exactly the same and it makes me wonder if there's even a reason to do anything
#i keep applying to jobs looking for comms and places to sell stuff#when im not doing that im either working or practising smth or studying#yet it all feels for nothing#everyday is the same. everyday i feel nothing but hopelessness#i feel like everyone is moving forward except me. who no matters what i try can never get unstuck#at least doing sports made me feel smth but today it just made me feel worse#im starting to not really care what happens to me. but yet i cant stop keeping busy#i cant even waste my time on 'fun' stuff like this hopelessness makes me think i should do#because i dont even get any joy from doing anything#usually being near friends cheers me up but today it only made me wanna cry#i shouldnt even have gone closer to my friends. i knew my mood wouldnt improve. and yet i only made them worry from my selfishness#i dont want to go to class. i dont want to keep aplying to studios. i dont want to draw or play or do anything#i have no energy to talk or do much. and not being able to make myself look hapoy enough makes me mad#i know im clinically depressed and i know myfriends know. yet being bad enough people can notice and ask if im feeling okay#makes me feel so ashamed. i have nothing to be sad about. and yet#life is so monotone. i dont want to feel like this all my life. i dont want such an unbalanced mind#i wish i could disappear and make everyone forget about me#i wish i could wander everywhere and anywhere forever#haunted.txt
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
allavaeso
part time e-girl
736f6d627261
ᴏᴘᴏʀᴛᴜɴɪꜱᴛᴀ
ahmednser
Free Palestine 🇵🇸💔
alucards-round-ears
The Realm
smileupdump
Parasocial Sideblog