#i simply couldnt be bothered to put too much effort into this post

[lovelettersforthedamned]

hi hi hi hi i saw this post and i wanna see your take on it (with peter ofc like hurt/comfort) (https://www.tumblr.com/moonstruckme/730170525023862784/okay-hey-me-again-was-hoping-to-send-a-request?source=share) something similar happened to me a couple of weeks ago too.

So a couple of weeks ago i was planning like this whole big get together and was texting everyone and planning food, decorations and everything and the day of most people either canceled or just literally didnt show up and i didnt even get a text or anything, and i literally spent hours planning, like i went to TJMaxx, Marshalls and stuff like that to find cute decorations and everything, like i spent all of my own money on this. Since no one came i literally sat in my house all dolled up eating everything and watch tv cuz i was upset. THEN around like 11 at night i was on instagram (and im guessing one of them forgot to take me off their close friends) and i saw a story of basically everyone i invited to my party go to another persons party or something i wasnt invited to ig and none of them told me. Like if im being honest, if they couldnt come cuz of some other event i would have moved the date even tho i picked it first. but like, its so shitty cuz they are like my main friend group and its hard for me to mingle with people in general. I have been texting like dry responses and the group chat has been empty since and i have no idea what to do. - 🎀

That’s What Peter’s For

✮ tasm!peter parker x f!reader

✮ word count: 0.8k

✮ warnings: one forehead kiss, hurt/comfort, mentions of food, angst.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───

main masterlist ⋆ peter parker masterlist

✮ gif by @spidey-stark

The TV in front of you flickered from frame to frame, each pixel reflecting a bright and blinding light into your dark living room. It’s late as you sit alone on the couch, eating the food you prepared for your friends going to waste due to your overplanning. Or maybe because they didn’t bother to show up. 

As you mindlessly shovel food into your mouth, you think back on your trips to pick out decorations for this night. You went with Peter, and you spent too much, but you didn’t care. You wanted your friends to gawk at the effort you put in, you just wanted them to care. 

When you were picking out an outfit for tonight, you tried on each variation, but to no avail, you weren’t satisfied. The bedroom looked like a warzone. Shirts and pants scattered along the floor, leaving little to no walking room. You couldn’t help but look forward to seeing everyone, the thought making you anxious for everyone to arrive. 

Peter was out for the night doing his nightly activities, when the clock struck eight, signaling that your friends should be here at any moment. You were still perfecting some of the drinks when you checked the clock again, eight forty-five. Your eyes furrowed in confusion as you walked over to your phone to double-check the time and also look for any ‘running late, sorry’ messages. And to your surprise, the time was correct, and no one had texted you. 

Taking a seat on the couch, you looked for the digital invite you’d sent everyone to double-check check you got the date right. Maybe I’m the wrong one? Once you found it, you took a deep breath. The date is right. 

You tried to find answers as you scrolled through social media. One of the people invited to your party posted a video of themselves dancing in a dimly lit club, the camera panned over to the rest of the group. You can feel your heart sink into your stomach as you realize that everyone you’ve invited was in that video posted five minutes ago. 

Now it’s almost midnight, and you haven’t moved besides turning on the TV and reaching for the snacks on your coffee table. Thick tears roll down your face, taking your makeup with you. You texted one of them a few hours ago, simply asking when they would arrive at your place. And of course, you didn’t receive a response. 

Too in your mind, you don’t even hear the front door open, revealing Peter quickly shoving his suit in his backpack. He was assuming that there would be other people filling in his apartment, causing him to change in the alley and rush up to meet you. A smile is on his face until he’s met with the sound of silence along with the muffled noise from whatever you are watching. 

Then his eyes land on you. Walking over he can’t see your tear-stained cheeks yet as he asks, “Where is everyone, bug?” You sniffle, before turning your head to look at him, instantly breaking down in tears. “Woah,” he instantly sits next to you on the couch, pulling you in for a hug, “tell me what happened.” His tone suddenly turns stern, as he worries.

You look up at him, your skin smudged with a thick smear of black from the mascara you delicately applied just hours before. “Th–They…never showed up,” you take a shaky breath, “everyone ditched me for something else, Pete. And n–no one told me.” 

Peter’s worry turned into anger. He was there for you through all of the planning, all of the grocery trips, and all of the outfit changes, and none of them cared to show. He knew that you needed him in this moment. You needed a warm embrace to pour your heart out. And that you did.

You sat and cried with Peter until you fell asleep, exhaustion taking over your body. When Peter felt your breathing even out beside him, he turned off the TV and carried you to your shared bedroom. Placing you down on the mattress, he walked back into the kitchen, quietly packing everything up, and cleaning the space. The last thing you needed to see tomorrow morning was the events of tonight. 

You didn’t stir until you felt a cold cloth on your face, softly wiping at your skin. “Hey, it’s okay. I’m just taking your makeup off,” he hushes, placing a delicate kiss on your forehead. You relax under him. The feeling of someone looking after you makes you melt further into the mattress. 

With Peter everything was alright, and you knew that he would be right at your side through all of it. That includes texting your friends a lengthy paragraph about the value of friendship. 

✮ author's note: oh 🎀 anon, im so sorry you had to deal with this. i've been through something like this a few years back, and it is such a shitty feeling. you don't deserve friends that will push you aside for something they think is better. friendships do not work like that. they should have communicated with you about not making it, but the fact that they just ghosted you completely and tried to cover it up??? shady as hell. i'm always here to listen!!

don't forget to like, comment, and reblog to support this if you liked it!! my asks/inbox is open, so send in requests if you'd like. ok, ily bye<333

[shkspr]

hi. on your post where you may or may not have ended on 'moffat is either your angel or your devil' did you have maybe an elaboration on that somewhere that i could possibly hear about. i'm very much a capaldi era stan and i've never tried to defend the matt smith era even though it had delightful moments sometimes so i wonder where that puts me. i'd love to hear your perspective on moffat as a person with your political perspective. -nicole

hi ok sorry i took so long to respond to this but i dont think you know how LOADED this question is for me but i am so happy to elaborate on that for you. first a few grains of salt to flavor your understanding of the whole situation: a. im unfairly biased against moffat bc im a davies stan and a tennant stan; b. i still very much enjoy and appreciate moffat era who for many reasons; and c. i hate moffat on a personal level far more than i could ever hate his work.

the thing is that its all always gonna be a bit mixed up bc i have to say a bunch of seemingly contradictory things in a row. for instance, a few moffat episodes are some of my absolute favorites of the rtd era, AND the show went way downhill when moffat took over, AND the really good episodes he wrote during the rtd era contained the seeds of his destruction.

like i made that post about the empty child/the doctor dances and it holds true for blink and thats about it bc the girl in the fireplace and silence in the library/forest of the dead are good but not nearly on the same level, and despite the fact that i like them at least nominally, they are also great examples of everything i hate about moffat and how he approached dw as a whole.

basically. doctor who is about people. there are many things about moffats tenure as showrunner that i think are a step up from rtd era who! actual gay people, for one! but i think that can likely be attributed mostly to an evolving Society as opposed to something inherent to him and his work, seeing as rtd is literally gay, and the existence of queer characters in moffats work doesnt mean the existence of good queer characters (ill give him bill but thats it!)

i have a few Primary Grievances with moffat and how he ran dw. all of them are things that got better with capaldi, but didnt go away. they are as follows:

moffat projects his own god complex onto the doctor

rtd era who had a doctor with a god complex. you cant ever be the doctor and not have a god complex. the problem with moffats era specifically is that the god complex was constant and unrepentant and was seen as a fundamental personality trait of the doctor rather than a demon he has to fight. he has the Momence where you feel bad for him, the Momence where he shows his humility or whatever and youre reminded that he doesnt want to be the lonely god, but those are just. moments. in a story where the doctor thinks hes the main character. rtd era doctor was aware that he wasnt the main character. he had to be an authority sometimes and he had to be the loner and he had to be sad about it, but he ultimately understood that he was expendable in a narrative sense.

this is how you get lines like “were the thin fat gay married anglican marines, why would we need names as well?” from the same show that gave you the gut punch moment at the end of midnight when they realize that nobody asked the hostess for her name. and on the one hand, thats a small sticking point, but on the other hand, its just one small example of the simple disregard that moffat has for humanity.

incidentally, this is a huge part of why sherlock sucked so bad: moffats main characters are special bc theyre so much bigger and better than all the normal people, and thats his downfall as a showrunner. he thinks that his audience wants fucking sheldon cooper when what they want is people.

like, ok. think of how many fantastic rtd era eps are based in the scenario “what if the doctor wasnt there? what if he was just out of commission for a bit?” and how those eps are the heart of the show!! bc theyre about people being people!! the thing is that all of the rtd era companions would have died for the doctor but he understood and the story understood that it wasnt about him.

this is like. nine sending rose home to save her life and sacrifice his own vs clara literally metaphysically entwining her existence w the doctor. ten also sending rose with her family to save her life vs river being raised from infancy to be obsessed w the doctor and then falling in love w him. martha leaving bc she values herself enough to make that decision vs amy being treated like a piece of meat.

and this is simultaneously a great callback to when i said that moffats episodes during the rtd era sometimes had the same problems as his show running (bc girl in the fireplace reeks of this), and a great segue into the next grievance.

moffat hates women

he hates women so fucking much. g-d, does steven moffat ever hate women. holy shit, he hates women. especially normal human women who prioritize their normal human lives on an equal or higher level than the doctor. moffat hated rose bc she wasnt special by his standards. the empty child/the doctor dances is the nicest he ever treated her, and she really didnt do much in those eps beyond a fuck ton of flirting.

girl in the fireplace is another shining example of this. youve got rose (who once again has another man to keep her busy, bc moffat doesnt think shes good enough for the doctor) sidelined for no reason only to be saved by the doctor at the last second or whatever. and then youve got reinette, who is pretty and powerful and special!

its just. moffat thinks that the doctor is as shallow and selfish as he is. thats why he thinks the doctor would stay in one place with reinette and not with rose. bc moffat is shallow and sees himself in the doctor and doesnt think he should have to settle for someone boring and normal.

not to mention rose met the doctor as an adult and chose to stay with him whereas reinette is. hm. introduced to the doctor as a child and grows up obsessed with him.

does that sound familiar? it should! bc it is also true of amy and river. and all of them are treated as viable romantic pairings. bc the only women who deserve the doctor are the ones whose entire existence revolves around him. which includes clara as well.

genuinely i think that at least on some level, not even necessarily consciously, that bill was a lesbian in part bc capaldi was too old to appeal to mainstream shippers. like twelve/clara is still a thing but not as universally appealing as eleven/clara but i am just spitballing. but i think they weighed the pros and cons of appealing to the woke crowd over the het shippers and found that gay companion was more profitable. anyway the point is to segue into the next point, which is that moffat hates permanent consequences.

moffat hates permanent consequences

steven moffat does not know how to kill a character. honestly it feels like hes doing it on purpose after a certain point, like he knows he has this habit and hes trying to riff on it to meme his own shit, but it doesnt work. it isnt funny and it isnt harmless, its bad writing.

the end of the doctor dances is so poignant and so meaningful and so fucking good bc its just this once! everybody lives, just this once! and then he does p much the same thing in forest of the dead - this one i could forgive, bc i do think that preserving those peoples consciousnesses did something for the doctor as a character, it wasnt completely meaningless. but everything after that kinda was.

rory died so many times its like. get a hobby lol. amy died at least once iirc but it was all a dream or something. clara died and was erased from the doctors memory. river was in prison and also died. bill? died. all of them sugarcoated or undone or ignored by the narrative to the point of having effectively no impact on the story. the point of a major character death is that its supposed to have a point. and you could argue that a piece of art could be making a point with a pointless death, ie. to put perspective on it and remind you that bad shit just happens, but with moffat the underlying message is always “i can do whatever i want, nothing is permanent or has lasting impact ever.”

basically, with moffat, tragedy exists to be undone. and this was a really brilliant, really wonderful thing in the doctor dances specifically bc it was the doctor clearly having seen his fair share of tragedy that couldnt be helped, now looking on his One Win with pride and delight bc he doesnt get wins like this! and then moffat proceeded to give him the same win over and over and over and over. nobody is ever dead. nobody is ever unable to be saved. and if they are, really truly dead and/or gone, then thats okay bc moffat has decided that [insert mitigating factor here]*

*the mitigating factor is usually some sort of computerized database of souls.

i can hear the moffat stans falling over themselves to remind me that amy and rory definitely died, and they did - after a long and happy life together, they died of old age. i dont consider that a character death any more than any other character choosing to permanently leave the tardis.

and its not just character deaths either, its like, everything. the destruction of gallifrey? never mind lol! character development? scrapped! the same episode four times? lets give it a fifth try and hope nobody notices. bc he doesnt know how to not make the doctor either an omnipotent savior or a self-pitying failure.

it is in nature of doctor who, i believe, for the doctor to win most of the time. like, it wouldnt be a very good show if he didnt win most of the time. but it also wouldnt be a very good show if he won all of the time. my point is that moffats doctor wins too often, and when he doesnt win, it feels empty and hollow rather than genuinely humbling, and you know hes not gonna grow from it pretty much at all.

so like. again, i like all of doctor who i enjoy all of it very much. i just think that steven moffat is a bad show runner and a decent writer at times. and it is frustrating. and im not here to convince or convert anyone im just living my truth. thank you for listening.

[daaziscoolbesties]

minecraft endermen are really weird. theyre unnatural and make me feel off.

when i was a small child like seven years ago i would always play minecraft on creative mode and i made an ugly ass enderman "farm" made out of bricks. i had an enderman spawn egg and id just spam it and the enderman couldnt get out (so i thought). anyways having them in this enclosure was probably so i could feel "powerful" over them because to date theyre still the only mob in minecraft that makes me anxious. even above skeletons(which i used to have a horrible fear of (the real life ones not mc ones)) and spiders (which i still have a horrible fear of (again the real life ones not mc)). anyways the endermen just ended up completely teleporting out of the farm and i checked on my world the next day and they were all gone and i didnt appreciate it (this was the same world where my brother blew up my pets but thats a different story).

anyways back to endermen. besides the fact that i just didnt like dying and i did like building ugly structures, one of the main reasons i didnt play survival much for a while, or if i did id put it on peaceful, was because of the enderman. every time i passed one my heart would drop and if i happened to look it in the eye on accident my throat would feel like its closing up and idk why. if it sounds like im bullshitting you or not remembering correctly i swear im not because it still happens actually.

i play survival a ton more now simply because i enjoy it more, it feels like theres actually a goal to achieve, but i never really make efforts toward said goal(ya know, beating the dragon). none of my worlds are really created with the intention of beating the dragon, and therefore i dont have to worry about endermen. if i happen to be outside my house and theres one there, no worries i just wait for it to go away. it may spook me for a sec but im fine.

but recently me and my sister started a world with the sole purpose of beating the dragon. we may have cheated a little (like putting on keep inventory cause honestly we both suck at pvp and have died so many times) but its okay cause thats it. we still have to fight endermen to get pearls for the end portal. and so we were hanging out in the nether and made a little two block tall hidey hole and id stand by the front and taunt endermen to get them to come close so i could kill them without them being able to get to me and it worked really well actually. except for the fact that to get them to come near i had to get them to aggro onto me and to do that i have to look them in the eye and you know where this is going. and so i was like "it has been so long since i looked an enderman in the eye surely i cant still be scared of them" and i turn to my sister like "<sister> you stay in the hole ill get us some pearls"

so i go out and taunt the dudes and guess what bitch got the pit in their stomach from these fuckers!! thats right bestie and my throat started to close up and i started talking to my sister again but i could tell me voice was off from it and i dont know why it happens but it pisses me off. like theyre not even scary looking theyre just a bit odd. and i continue to do this and kill the endermen and it just. doesnt. stop. my throat keeps closing up and im not "in pain" or anything just inconvenienced like what the fuck dude its a bunch of fucking pixels. i dont know its weird.

and now this part is gonna sound super fuckin stupid but ever since i started watching dsmp i immediately got attached to ranboo (cc! and c!) and knowing that c!ranboo was half enderman made me really think "hm endermen arent that bad. granted i havent interacted with one in a while but still not that bad. perhaps my favorite hostile mob" because you know people get attached to characters and think dumb things. and then again ranboo's character straight up existing and also this one specific headcanon i saw that was like "endermen use telepathy to talk so when a player looks at them all their thoughts get projected into them and it hurts their brain :((" makes me feel kinda bad for aggro-ing them and killing them again even though its literally just some pixels dude. my brain is not kind to me about this stuff and its really dumb.

i dont know what about the endermen staring back at me sets off the sort of fight-or-flight that makes me unable to breathe for a second but its something. its not the fact that their jaws basically unhinge when theyre mad because the throat closing up sensation happens before that. it happens when i look at an enderman and it looks back up at me and holds my gaze. i dont know. i dont know why im worked up(even slightly) over a video game. theyre still my favorite hostile mob i think (not just because of ranboo honestly the other hostile mobs just kinda suck).

and also i like the idea of how humanoid they are. not human. humanoid. they have the basic aspects of a minecraft human- square, head, torso, legs, arms, eyes. most mc skins dont even have mouths anyways just eyes. but the endermen have these features differently than us. their eyes are unnatural, legs and arms too long, body all one color, one that can blend in, and you can only see its purple eyes staring you down from a distance. theyre basically just cryptids.

despite skeletons and even zombies looking closer to the player than the endermen, they still seem the most human-like of all of the mobs. they arent aggressive unless provoked. they dont like eye contact(socially awkward). they like picking up stuff and moving it around. theyre curious (i cant explain this one they just are, okay?). even the sounds they make are just phrases like "hey" "hello" "whats up" distorted and in reverse.

i want to know more about them.

i want to know where they came from.

why theyre found in every dimension.

why they sound like us.

i want explanations, i want to know why they scare us.

i want to know if they know.

if they know that we're like them in some way.

that some of us dont mean harm, but for others thats all they want to do to the endermen.

i saw a post once that said "what taught humans to be wary of things that look human, but arent?" i believe the phenomenon is called uncanny valley. what if in the minecraft universe, the thing that taught us that was endermen. or rather, the thing that taught the endermen that was us? because again, the endermen pose no threat to us unless theyre provoked. by one of us. the endermen try to communicate with us- "⊑⟒⊬" "⍙⊑⏃⏁⌇ ⎍⌿?"- but we kill them without reason. thats why they dont like eye contact, its been ingrained in them through evolution that eye contact with a human/player will end in death, and they dont want it to be theirs, so they attack first.

we- or rather, the first minecrafters, maybe (in the lore(?)) people before the game, taught the endermen to fear us. i mean we literally kill them, use their remains to enter their home dimension, and then kill their leader/mother. they do their best to stop us, but we can respawn and they cant. and then, some people even go as far as to make farms, having them all spawn in one place, crowded, cant teleport out- their only defense mechanism gone- and then are slaughtered for their pearls. and due to the mass of these farms there will be chests upon chests full of pearls that no one's using, i saw someone the other day ask what people do with them and someone straight up said they just burn them like god what a waste.

"but izzy, players make mob farms all the time and not just for endermen!!!1!!11! why are the endermen ones so bad why are you only talking about those1!1!1!!!1" 1) because i can, 2) this is an endermen-themed post, and 3) i dont like the other mobs. and of course im not actually mad at the players who like beating the game and making endermen farms and such, i mean thats what it is its all just a game just a bunch of code, 0's and 1's, so why does it matter why bother writing a whole post on it?

because when you look paste the game, when you read in between those ones and zeroes and discover this non-intentional lore, it can make things so much more,, interesting. this is fanfic material. hell, its probably fanart material too. its all for the content to see what the community can create i guess. or maybe i just really like talking about endermen and this has been on my mind for two days now and once i started typing i couldnt stop.

but yeah, thats my final thoughts.

we, humans, experience uncanny valley about the endermen.

but the endermen experience uncanny valley about the players.

[datingadviceonreddit]

I stared dating a girl in college we started dating after a month of hanging out. We literally were together every night at school and she would basically live out of my room. We would never get sick of each other and could talk for hours. We had our fights from time to time but nothing out of the ordinary. Everything was going perfect.Then we had to leave for summer break and we live a few hours apart from each other and I know she was really worried about this because she did it in the past and it didn't work out. So everything was fine for the first couple weeks we would text and facetime a lot, I wonder if we almost tried to talk too much. Although we did this during winter break and it worked fine.Anyways, after a few weeks of this she seemed to be almost annoyed by it and not showing as much enthusiasm and usually we are affectionate to each other even over text, but she didn't seem as affectionate and I felt as if I was the only one being affectionate and simply putting in the effort for us to try and make it work.So I visited her almost a month since we have been out of school and when first saw her I was so excited and it was the best feeling and I could tell she felt that way too. Then after about a day she begin being mean and picking apart everything I did and I told her it bothered me, but she still did it. The rest of the visit went well and we were really sad when we left each other.When I returned home she continued to mean over text and facetime and when I would say something she would say I couldnt take a joke.She recently left for a study aboard trip for a month and before she left she kept saying I hope you don't break up with me and you better be there when I get back but in a threatening way not in a nice way. Anyways she has an international plan so she can text aboard but I know she is busy and I don't expect her to text me all the time, but it is still nice to hear from her and have her check in a little bit. Although I feel she is just using the trip to ignore me, because she ignores my texts for hours while she posts instagram and doesn't respond and when she does they are just very vague responses. It makes me feel like it is a chore for her to text me. I am all for her having a great time and having fun and not being on her phone but there is that line of being busy having fun and just plan ignoring someone. I don't want to bring it up and ruin her trip, but it does hurt me a littleLately, I have been feeling as if I am taken for granted and I am the only one putting in effort and I just feel no effort from her. I don't know if I am over reacting because it is just texting but I really feel something for her and I love being with her. via /r/dating_advice

[futanaritalizorah]

Yep. Way to be edgy too and say we all are angels who just forgot to fly Yeah lucifer was an angel. Shit. Bitch more lile you broke other angels wings and tore em off and claimed them as yours. Youre gonna float but you wont soar as high as others. Im just fucking speechless at this point. Relationships dont run on memes and edgelord comments you guys can relate to. You both will be each others undoing at this rate. You wanna know what ive been doing for the past 6 months? You ran away from your rl friends and went to swtor trying to find replacement friends. Yeah, replacements. I still remember your comments about aris or whoever reminding you of eric and aomeone else as jose. Im js. But you cant make othwr people replacementa. They are each unique. I wanted to make sure you had at least one real friend (me) but nope ive gotten fucked over wvery fucking sincere attempt ive taken. Fucking take a walk in my shoes where i had to choose you over me every fucking time your choice wouldnt benefit me much or at all. It was actually working against my odds if anything. Nope bitch dont twll me youre an angel kell. Your choicws were all for personal gain. Fun fact she has 25 mill. She didnt need your 3 mill. Yes i have photos cause she fucking bragged Ahe also bragged about the schematics she needs on when the bitch doesnt wven craft She doesnt craft. She fucking even wrote it in fucking ops chat "i just need so lmlei cant have it" She has like 15 schematics in her inventory that cant be used cause she doesnt craft. So its as if she needed on things she doesnt want or need but ahe lets it take up wmpty spacw in her life just so she feels like she has some worth. Bitch, i just used psychology. Fucking idiot. Cody, metaphorically, you are one of those schmeatics. You fucking are another object. Congrats. You yourself put your ass in that position to be used. Dont you fucking blame me or others. You are in charge. The time you fucking took charge, you fucking banned and kicked me. Gee gee Just gee gee Tired of looking aftwr your ass I was never required to but i...i cared enough to I was stupid to care enough to I didnt want you fqlling fast and hard and i was stupid cause i got caught in that fall. You have real frienda vut youre keeping too much trasg around to see. You are not obligated to ducking keep friends happy. Your real frienda are just happy you exist. God. Even yoyr rl friends saw what kell wrote on your post and wanted to jump on her. You...ugh! I know you. I know you hate making your friends happy 24/7. I know you hate its a daily fucking job. Because you cant even make yourseld happy so why are you gonna bother. Nah. No. Actually. You make it a thing to try making othwrs happy but yoy cant *truly* do that unless you even know what happiness is. Unless you can find happiness here, right now, in the present...you wont find it elsewhere. I know youre battling inner demons but you have real frienda that are simply hqppt be ause you are thwir friends but you choose to go to fake ass friends who need to be paid to be youe friends. Yes cody, you are too kind. But youre a fucking ass to the friends who kept it real with you. Its on me i stayed but its on you for being an asshole. Yes im saying it. You were an ass to me cody. You call me passive agressive? Fuck no. You going behind my back and shit talking is passive agressive. Idgaf if you didnt mean it.... cody you said it...its the principle of it all I keep saying ypure misguidex but fine whatevwr. I keep saying youre depressed but fuck no Grow up and have accountability because i am not the cause of your own inner demons. You blame me for wvery shir that happens in your life then,you should blame me for yhe good things too. I helped you get where you are. God damn. I fucking kept you company pn drives and i fucking helped talk you up to lwave your job Kell thinks she has shit over me. Yeah no. I fucking helped you take leaps from where you were. Shes helping you have no friends and be fake as fuck. Cody. Your real friends are waitinf for you. I see why they stepped back when you started running. They told me to watch myseld xause id get ducking caught. I see it now. You say i made you...ugh who cares abymore. Long story short all your friends, including me, are stwpping back. You are always worthy od my time if you straighten up and stop blaming me for everything like a child. You know that fucking brrak up month was fucking more hectic and it was hextic on your part. You were teaching the pawn shop people, you were packing, you were driving a lot, you were having to feal with your mom cause she talked about your depression I font fucking know. I just know it was hectic and i wasnt deluding myself. There were a lot of changes and i wasnt the xause of that fucking atress. You put the blame on me. Lets all be fu king realistic. I tried calming you and fucking telling you to get rest you blah. I will never regret staying aimply because my acts each came from a place of love. But now...i gotta step back like your friends. Fyi, i didnt make you stop talking to your friends. You didnt talk to them for 5 years. I caught up with each one more than you have. It takes effort to talk to people. I wasnt hete for 5 years cody. Dont blame me for uour lack of friends like kell does. You dont have friends cause you chose trash over your rral friends. We will genuinelt keep up with what you are doing...her? She will want to know gossip. Kell is different: she has no friends cause shes a hoe in rl too. Please i didnt fucking cause that. If she caused that shit in rl then its plausible she did it in game too. Shit. She sucked klebis dry, he sucked kldbis dry, and you have less than klebis or wick does so idk wtd she wants feom you other than your money. Money is money. Idk. I AINT fucking staying to waych tho Pft kell chased me onto other team speaks you idiot. Your ts isnt being used even by kell. Kell you lost more friends for sure by getting me kicked for your stupid shit. You stupid idiot. God. But yeah she xhased me onto otther ts but we were genuonely afk and even if we werent i wouldnt fucking talking to her. Fucking bitch. I gave you my number fucking uae it hoe. God. Shittiest girl ive wvwr met Grow up damn it. Take your sweet damn time but if im not around then who will ypu blame huh? I made your life easier....so yoy wouldnt have accountability Even aftwe all this bs guess what, i still succeeded I left you a successful guild and prog team. But you threw it away. Fyi they didnt mind a sorc being on the team Even then i left but got a replacemwnt. Dethus doesnt fuck around with operatives cause he likes clearing content. Ik he wont fuck around. I also considered his personality. Aris and gold liked him. Good for me. Dethus and onako know each other. They all fucking click cody. Yes. It was a good trwm. No fucking bullshit Gos damn it cody i left you a family Dont fucking go to them until you straighten youraeld up but ypu do have people yo turn to. Avoid fucking muffins. Fucking pastry fucking makes me wanna die. Ask avoniel. Shit. He was trying to gauge if i was the problem or muffins. Its fucking muffins. Jealous piece of shit. Im too busy fucking focusing on you to give wick any fucking thought. Fucking hoe got me punished for her own problems. Fucking shit i dont even wanna go through the wntire story yet. God. Fucking immature bish tho. They were on a break at the time and shes keeping tabs on him and wick was raiding with me cause he asked me to help distract him. Of course i will. With fucking raids. Idiot. We werent flirting. St all. I made him kill shit is all. Wick blames himself but its muffins who told vexus. Fucking idiot. Avon didnt even know. He fucking said he didnt believe it...then fucking wick confirmed and hes like yep muffins is the one creating shit and im here trryibg to just raid. Fuckinf shit. All those stwps i took to take muffins feelings into consideration and she does one thing and was careless and fucked so fucking bad. Fucked wverything even. Fuck. God damn i wont be around for you to blame anymore so straighten up. Then you can talk to me but even your mom says you cant fucking ask gor space and pull me back I never told you to raid with me I saw you wanted to hang There will be other raids vut you join mine The one i advertised for Dont say i dragged you anywhere. You wanted to participate. Im glad you raided. But im sad you keep pulling lie out of lie out of your ass to act as if you arent you. Bitch i saw yoy get me killed at dp or df. I saw you fucking not taunt. It chased my ass and killed me. Hope you had fun and got it out of your system. Yoy worked harder to make sure i couldnt tell but i dont see why. Cody...i want you to change if you wanna change. I never wanted you to change. I want yoy to be yourself. Fuck. It was a pleasure cause damn i can tell mechanics now and see how you play. Watching you through skype helped me learn ngl. I rexognized raids. I aint stupid. I told kell to,kick droids that explode onto the raid team. I can fuck around too. Shit. Have fun with this shit show you keep putting yourself in. Cody you put yourself in fake....sureoundings...sigh. i know mass effect is coming out and im like that is a blessing cause you and i will disappear to fucking play on our own. God knows i need fucking alone time. But you? God i hope you still feel the same way about tali'zorah. I hope what you said about hwr and me was real and still relevant.

[futanaritalizorah]

So i did a lot of raids last night. Damn am i making a lot of enemies lately. Alkurna put me on blast cause i kicked him out of kp sm 8 man gf. Tbqh, i dont remember kicking the guy out...but either way the group was irritated with him and said he was "triggering" them so i wrote "you are triggering" or something. He thought i kicked him because he was criticizing me dying twice on first boss. Ok first of all, rancor didnt enrage so stfu. It wasnt a dps issue. But after that i couldnt tell because sasha (usually a healer) was tanking and pres (usually a tank) was healing. Yeah. So i know we gotta be behind the fucking rancor but i got the debuff so i died. It hit for 200k and i have 100k health. Bit this guy tried telling me i should bubble and im like....i dont need to be told how to sorc. That and i bubbled because healer got me up but didnt heal my health up. That shit should be able to be solo healed. Either way he got on allies bitching aboyt me but i really paid no attention because while he was bitching about 1 person (me), 6 people were bitching about him. Yeah, surprise bitch. 6 people dont wanna raid with you. It was a group decision. I was simply a figure head. Um i did snv before that tho. I noticed kell alting a lot. Surprise, i didnt do shit. If you noticed your toons out of the guild, surprise. I wasnt even in the guilf when you got kicked. Blame me now bish. I didnt do shit to you and i didnt tell them to do shit. Kell argued shes "quitting" the game. Fun fact. She alwqys disappears and comes back. She did it before. And the reason i said she did this to herself is because whenever shes not toying with boys in game, shes toying with guys in rl. I forgot his name, but it started with a 'T'. Thomas? Either way this shit happened in rl. She lost a lot of friends and idk she claims her friends told her another girl is talking shit but...bitch try that for me Try that for me. Its possinle the other girl did that, but try that for me. Cause i have ss. No! I have conversations that are uncut that show how toxic your own fucking words are...dare you to ss my shit and cut context out. Its so simple to but do you really dare to? I will fight back. Tread carefully. I have nothing to lose while you have everything to lose. Dont you realize that you had everything to lose to begin with when you made relationships on a foundation of lies? Dont even saybyoure fucking misguidrd cause youre a liar. You dont hurt people you love. I see the trash you posted on fb before i blocked you. You talk about love but youre a fucking snake and youre the one trlling our mutual friends *i* was doinf stupid shit. Do you know how *nice * i am? Do you onow how many times you fucked me over in the past and our mutual friends knew? Cause i fucking had a meltdown? But they fucking know how kind i am. They know ive supported cody, regardless of how fucked up the situation got for me or his friends. I never spoke any fucking ill will towards him when i had every reason to. Never. I just kept wishing him.the best. When kelsara popped into my life and kept harassing me? I had a meltdown. You fucking ran away and couldnt dewl with it. But aris and gold have seen me meltdown before. They were my rocks. I had every reason to be mean to kelsara and every reason to hate cody but you dont see me rubbing it in his face. Dor a reason. I still dont know how to really process it. But i know i have no ill will towards cody. I didnt even shit talk him then for christs sake. When he banned me from the ts and kicked me out of my home, the guild, i should have had every reason to hate him. He "chose" you over family. You even said i was on the "no" list but nobody stopped raiding with me. No one. I did however refuse to carry a fucking tank that doesnt know their rotation. Aka kell. Hell not even you have the power to get her into raids. If her rep is a shit tank, shes not getting into raids. That has nothing to do with me or her shitty being. But even i noticed you dont form raids for her the way i did....dont say i didnt fucking care dor her cause i did so much for that girl....so much. She took no appreciation and wanted more. But yeah, ven if she couldnt get into raids, i noticed you didnt form raids for her either. Shes bad news to run with. Her shit doesnt cleqr. She got cocky and formed a ravagers run without me because i was with muh doing ec. Fucking idiot could have brought an alt but nope. She was petty and formed for rav and kept saying "i hqte you lmlei". Yeah, no. She ender up inviting 3 healers. More on that fucjing later. Its on a stream though. Her fucking petty and immature ass attitude is on stream. Yep! What a gem! Bitch (kell) your love meant nothing to me to bwgin witg because you use people so often. Its why im so bothered youre toying with cody. But either way i formed raids for her qnd i see why...she couldnt form raids...not even in the fuilds she was in. I joined her ev sm run with,her guildies and shit did they aggro a lot of shit to the point i froze the entire time but dethhs qnd i cleared trash as soon as their asses fucking died and my fps fixed itaeld. Idiot. So yes you may have jumped the gun and banned me from ts and kicked me from the guild but i still felt i got the longer end of the stick. Cause i didnt have you looming over me like aris, wick, and gold did. They either didnt know when you were kicking them or if you even were or if they were leaving themselves cause they saw no valid reason for me to get kicked to begin with. They saw no valid reason cody. This is why im saying ask for the truth from them because in no way did i feed these bitches shit. They experienced and lived this shit. They know what went down. That and i raided then and i didnt stop raiding now that i had no guild. Jokes on you, ive been pugging and making friends a ling time before you came back...i hope i made you proud...cause my shit clears...so i did meet friends and i am familiar with fuckers you shouldnt raid with....but yeah... Jokes qlwo on you cause you put me on the "no" list for the prog team i helped solidify. Cody, i lovw you found these people. I love it. It means you still know what quality looks like. But while you were gone, it was a group effort to find the rest if the players and make sure theyd get along in the long run. We clicked pretty well. You came in wnd told them i wasnt allowed to be apart of that...who tge duck qre you or anyone to tell someone else who they cant play with That beinf said, even you xontinued to rwid with me. When kell wasnt invited to the group, you still raided with me. The man who made and put me on the no list...still raided with me. Rip. Secretly or not...you still raided with me. I just wish you soent less time pulling bs stories out of your ass and just played cause you xant relax when youre too busy lying qnd hiding. Cody, please. Play the fame you want it to. You know how i know they love you? Months ago i told them that rhey had to play the game they wanted to. So fast forward to kell and kevins shitty tanking and they notice neither of them know how to form tight vaginas at karraga. Aris initiqlly suggests that you might have to tank and i didnt even have time to unmute my mic before she and wick chime in qnd say "nvm let him decide what toon to play" . THAT is why wick hopped on his tank. He didnt want you to. They love you dearly and just wanted you to wnjoy playing the toon you wanted. Aka your sniper lately. Also when you died on n'hova at karraga no worries. We knew you knew your shit but your gear wont be able to hold aggro and your health is affected wince you were still lvl 65. It wasnt on you. But yeah, if you were completely upset or...whatever, or believed anything at all of what she says, you wouldnt be raidinf with me. Idk why youre raiding with me or raiding with me in secret wt all,but yeah. Ill tell you this much, if you spent less time secretly raiding with me and more time raiding with aris qnd gold and the peog teqm i heped make, you could be touching hwrd mode content. Just sayin. You qr3nt made for sm cody.. youre ready for hm...let me do that...i enjoy it...wventually it wonr be a chwllenge but....i meet people this way...teach them...and recruit them...i get people that stay in the guild cody....you should be trying hm with aris now...no more of this sm stuff with me cody...i enjoy spending time with you but imagine what you could have cleared by now... But yeah...kell cant take my ops or friends away from me...*i* made a name for myself...i knew that if my raids cleared, more people will run with me more frequently....and my friends? Theyve seen the ugly sides of me when...i had meltdowns...they saw the honest parts of me as well...but they never knew me to be a liar...so yes cody...i kept friends and burned bridges with one...why? Cause im not q liar qnd even if i tried burning bridges (believe me, i tried. I tried burning it with wick)....they wouldnt let me... I asked wick why qnd he said he thought i was genuinely kind...so i finqlly told him why i told kellavia to wqtch himself with her...thats a story for anoth3r day...but yeah... I have people who choose to stand by me because im not fake and im genuinely kind qnd im not even trying to tear kell down at all...shes doing it heraelf 2hen she approaches these "mutual" friends of ours...and shit talks me ans blames me I had no hand cody She has a mouth and im not gonna protect her. I told her that shit we ever talked about stays between us...my last straw? When she told klebis. She even told him your reql name. I just...i broke down from there. Im careful with your name cody...i have studf i should be blamed for but...i cant control ofher peoples mouths. Th3 onee that wr3 nontoxic and like understand the situation know this isnt their information to share. She made my life into a shit show by thinking she can share this information thays not even hers. Like i said, she has a naive view of thinfs so why the fuck would i want her of all people telling people qbout it. I never let her aee the bwautiful parts of you...i showed her your little dipper...so handsome... Sigh. Doing it again. This is pure torture.