#i still can't believe how easy it is

[pirateygentleman]

i learned one water tutorial and suddenly i feel unstoppable (but like ykno not rlly)

Here’s the Tutorial

[matbaynton]

Mat Baynton as Dr. Thomas

MURDER IS EASY (2023) 1.01

[frogcoded]

something fun i learned in computer security recently is that if you have to open shady websites it's best to do that in a separate window than all your other tabs, even better in a completely different browser where you don't usually log in with let's say your bank for example. so opening streaming sites in a different anonymous window sounds like something that is more placebo than anything else but it is actually a good protection about some common types of attacks lol (not every kind of attack ofc just specific types)

[goldkirk]

.

[isfjmel-phleg]

🫥

[stinkbeck]

nothing more relaxing than like acting out a play in my room alone

[kissentz]

wriothesley banner is such a fucking scam i can't... it was 60s PULL AND I SAW GOLD. you think it was wriothesley?

IT WAS QIQI. QIQI. QIQI!!!!!!!!!!

like, i have no problem with qiqi at all. BUT I WANTED FUCKING WRIOTHESLEY!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[forgetfulseas]

i should not be on tumblr i should be asleep so i can wake up tomorrow at the ass crack of dawn to see if blondie announces rep tv or if i've clowned too close to the sun yet again

[coridallasmultipass]

TFW you're an artist living alone and you need some spicy hand holding refs, and you gotta photoshop YOUR OWN FUCKIN' HAND, because 1) no one around to take a reference picture with and 2) there's no reference pic of two right hands holding interlaced like this. ...And it is surprisingly effective.

[nerice]

angry again. (wrist anger)

[unnecessarilygrandiose]

eddie punching that guy and then getting arrested will never not be funny

[caffeinatedopossum]

When I had that panic attack the other day, my girlfriend really put some things into perspective... I don't know, I think I feel bad because this is the best my life has ever been and I'm still depressed and anxious. It feels like I can't do anything for myself and the things I can do, I don't.

But she said that she would feel the same in my position. That actually, when she was the most depressed, she *was* in my position. She said she'd go crazy from not being able to do anything all the time and for some reason that helped a lot. Like, just to hear that its not wrong to feel like this and that I really am doing everything I can.

It feels so greedy and selfish to look at my life being the best it's ever been and to still ask for more but I guess it's normal.

[withered-rose-unbreakable-lotus]

I think visual kei is the longest obsession I’ve ever had. It took me 11 years to finally be chill about it. xD I’ve reached a point that I don’t care much about the scene, never seeing them live, missing releases like...this year I’ve managed to slowly detach.

Ever since I was a little girl, my favorite musicians were my life. They gave me a voice, a purpose and a dream. I wasn’t a casual listener, I was the kind of girl who needed to see them as much as possible, listen to music like 6 hours a day, if not more, my walls were always full of pictures of them, I always talked about them...they were my life. And even after getting into visual kei, I didn’t drop any of my previous favorites, I just wasn’t as focused on them as before. With previous artists I felt my enthusiasm was fullfilling and healthy, an energy boost, an inspiration, a place where I felt understood. It was sth I loved, people I loved etc. (and if you are one of those who think you have to know sb very well to love them, get the fuck out of my blog, I know what I felt and if a person can hate sb at first sight, they can love at first sight too. Yes maybe what I loved was 90% illusion, but I believe 10% was actually real cause, no matter how much a person likes to appear perfect and always friendly etc, cracks will always be there). Anyway visual kei felt like more than that to the point I really thought it was destiny to actually work with them (cause I’ve always wanted to work with my favorite artists, I just switched from wanting to go to the USA to Japan after a while being a fan). And you know what, it was fun as long as it lasted. It took me out of the dark, pulled blades away from my wrists, it kept me sane, lead to writing 2 and a half books, it lead to finally getting my hands on photoshop and honestly becoming a better person. But yeah those things aside, I realized that the goal-part was another lie I built to feel I belonged. In reality, it was another lesson in life which, once I got it, it had to go.

I’m closing 30 and I have not much passion for art or music anymore. It was painful forcing myself understand my dreams were silly, but the peace I feel now makes me think I finally made it. I can now look at their photos of the past with nostalgia and not feeling like I failed, cause it was never for me in the first place. I kept seeing people travelling there and being able to see them and, some even got chances to work with them, so I wondered wtf I was doing wrong. It was eating me alive and I desperately wanted sth to work but well...it’s all gone now. ^^

Currently I don’t have any goals but I know some old stuff came back. As a child, besides trying every artform I could get my hands on while listening to music, I also played a lot of games. We had 3 drawers and 1 cupboard full of videogames at home and I feel like I am slowly getting back to that. I limit myself only to genshin now, for sure, but I watch more playthroughs again of games I don’t have and maybe soon I will try getting a console to try more stuff, who knows. I also started watching anime again, which I had stopped for a few years.

Oh well, regardless of what the future holds, I am thankful to all those people who dared chase their dreams and inspired me do the same, my lovely musicians, even if I eventually got nowhere, and I will keep listening to their songs from time to time. And posting their pics cause nostalgia. My only complaint is that I spent the past 10 years of my life being upset that I lived in a house that didn’t allow me have posters on my walls (fucking humidity and mold ye see) and now that I can and my room is healthier, I have nobody I want on my walls. xD I will fill it with Genshin and anime characters xD.

[coralhoneyrose]

Tentatively hopeful that I'll have a new chrobin fake dating chapter to share this week! There's a specific scene in this one that I've been planning for and looking forward to writing for a whole year 👀 (though it may not be quite what you're thinking...)

[franeridan]

was watching a process video of an artist i really like trying a style he doesn't usually go for and he's usually got this very flowy, free style but for this one he was doing lineart and he was obviously struggling with it and said something like he really doesn't know how people can comfortably work with solid lineart and that genuinely shocked me into stopping the video and looking at nothing for a little while ngl

[rustedleopard]

Whenever I think about how I characterize Porky, I always come back to this quote I read in a short story in the Twelve Kingdoms series regarding the trial of a prisoner named Shudatsu, who (among many other crimes) killed a young child just to steal the small amount of cash he had on him, and held no remorse for his crime. This is the quote:

The bitter realization occurred to Eikou—the man himself possessed no powers of self-analysis. His was an unexamined life. He had no substantive awareness of his crimes and was not about to face up to his actions and gain that awareness. Calling himself “trash” was the tortoise shell he crawled inside, and he was content to stay there forever. No words would persuade him otherwise and no words could wound him. (Prison of Dusk: Chapter 8, Twelve Kingdoms, trans. Eugene Woodbury. Emphasis added by me).

This quote makes me go !!!!!! because that’s exactly how I characterize Porky: someone who is capable of doing so many horrible things because he uses “I’m a terrible person” as his armor to protect himself from doing any sort of self reflection.

My interpretation of his character is why seeing him being characterized as “a terrible person who was always going to end up a monster” or “innocent because his family/Giygas who made him this way” irks me so so much! Saying that Porky was always a terrible person doesn’t really show respect to his character. He’s an abused child. His parents demeaned him and in the Japanese version, his father physically abused him in the beginning of the game. Unconditional love, kindness, and respect were likely commodities in his house (and while Porky’s closeness with Picky is left a bit vague, Picky did wait for Porky on the hill when he ran off. Meanwhile, during Fourside, Picky was abandoned at home while Porky and his father (and mother? My memory is a bit foggy) were living it up, so make of their relationship what you will).

But on the other side of the coin, saying that Porky’s family/Giygas is solely responsible for his behavior is annoying because he’s capable of independent thought. Porky does have at least some idea of what’s right and wrong considering that he begs for Ness’ forgiveness in Happy Happy Village after kidnapping Paula and joining a cult. And while Buzz Buzz admits that Giygas sways people to do evil, my interpretation of how Giygas’ powers work is that he cannot force you to do anything that you aren’t at least somewhat willing to do: he can only make the worse options seem more appealing. If he was capable of outright possession, then what stops him from possessing your sister/mom/dog/every NPC you encounter and making them attack you? There’s still a choice to do the right thing, even if he can make you feel like the wrong choices are more appealing.

To me, Porky is someone who was born in unfortunate circumstances which made him feel powerless and weak and when an opportunity arose to get power (wealth, influence, followers), he jumped on it. And when people grew upset with him because the power he’s accessed is hurting others, instead of doing some self-examination and giving it up, he saw himself as the victim and doubled down. He took the words that people threw at him, “horrible” “terrible” “rotten” “bad,” and decided that if that was how he was going to be seen both as the abused child and as Giygas’ right-hand man, then he may as well live with it and enjoy his power regardless. In the end, being a terrible person was a place of safety for him because he would never have to confront his own actions and see that the only thing he’s truly accumulated is a wealth of shame.