#i still have one more silly name i'm tempted to make and then i need to work on the numbers crew...

[korattata]

[raainberry]

Cross The Line - I

« It’s only after we’ve lost everything that we’re free to do anything. »

Mina x gn!reader

synopsis - if you promise not to step foot in her hospital again, the line disappears, right?

wordcount - 3K

T/W - resident!mina x fighter!reader. mentions of violence, injuries, food. (reader is involved in an underground fight club) medical environment. angst for now and dahyun guest starring😎

A/N - i have decided to make this into a movie. it serves as a prologue to the series but tbh i feel like you can get it without it if you want. Enjoy!

You don’t know if she noticed you.

The minutes passed by, and so did she; a few times. You watched from your seat as you waited for your name to be called, various scenes from silly incidents to more serious ones, old people to kids...

The place was bustling, you could feel your head getting heavier, only keeping it up just in case Mina appeared. She seemed busy, focused. She must have a lot on her mind.

How selfish would it be to wish you were on it too?

You wondered, feeling the familiar tug at your heart when she took the time to reassure a little girl across the room. You could make out the tears staining her cheeks despite how far you were sitting, and witnessed how quickly they dried up under Mina’s gentle voice.

How wrong would it be to feel jealous?

You shook the ridiculous thought away, just in time to hear your name finally get called out. The voice was familiar, but not the one you were hoping for. Sweet, but not enough.

Your gaze left Mina’s figure to meet her dear friend’s, a nurse you’d gotten to know more than the one you heart longed for. She let you call her by her name, but only if you promised not to overstep the set of obvious boundaries that came with it.

You gave your word, although it was tempting to take it back. Everytime Dahyun assisted in your care, you fought the need to ask her anything about Mina. You only faltered once, anesthesia having gotten the best of you after a long set of stitches.

You had the decency to wait until Mina stepped out of the room before asking about her love life. That’s how Dahyun came to know of this… mess of emotions between the two of you.

She never answered you, but she did have questions to which she tried to pull the answers to from Mina herself a few hours later.

Nearly a year later now, and she was still trying. Pieced a few of them together over time and rare, quiet wine drunken nights, but it was nowhere near enough to uncover the reasons.

The ones behind your visits, not your interest in her best friend. She has glasses but she’s not blind.

Although she did wonder what still had you so hung up after years.

If you knew yourself, you probably wouldn’t be in this mess.

“Do you guys have lunch breaks?" Your voice was quiet in an attempt to conceal how awkward you felt.

You were sat on a similar table as your last time here, only surrounded by proper walls this time. Still as blank and unstimulating, letting your mind roam free and back to Mina.

Dahyun paused in her tasks.

This was her third time seeing you, and it was the first time you’d spoken to her without her needing to pull the words out of you.

She cleared her throat, setting down the tools she’d just used to get your cast off. "We do.” She answered hesitantly. “Why wouldn't we?"

The room fell silent once again as you gazed at your weakened arm, turning her question rhetorical. Dahyun only chuckled at the sight before offering some reassurance, "I'm going to show you a few rehabilitation exercises. Your arm will be back to normal in no time."

You simply nodded, your eyes glued to the foreign feeling in your limb. "Do I need to rest it?"

Dahyun’s eyebrows furrowed at your question, but kept her curiosity to herself. Not everyone has her knowledge, she tended to forget it so she cut you some slack although something in her itched to be nosy.

She watched as you tentatively moved your arm, clenching your fist as if trying to regain familiarity with it. "Just avoid putting excessive strain on it.” She finally said, causing you to stop. “No intense use for a couple of weeks, and it should be fine."

"A couple weeks..." You muttered. This wasn’t good. Money was getting short. “Can I have some paper and a pen?”

It was getting hard to do, but Dahyun concealed her confusion again before fulfilling your request, observing as you used your weakened hand to scribble something barely legible.

“Does that count as exercise?" You playfully questioned, causing Dahyun to chuckle.

“It could, yeah." She nodded and you smiled, glancing back at your writing before handing it to her.

“Hopefully she can read it.”

You don’t need to say anything else. Not even her name. Dahyun knew who you were referring to.

You were sure of it, but she managed to make you second guess - yourself and your own intentions - when she tensed up in front of you.

Her hand didn’t reach for the piece you offered of yourself. As futile and impersonal as it was, you couldn’t help but take offense at her doubts.

“Please.” You muttered. It was pathetic. It felt like it too. But it was worth the discomfort if it meant convincing the woman standing before you. Her silence was painful, it almost made you laugh. She wasn’t even the one you were trying to reach.

Were you even allowed to feel so troubled yet?

Rightfully so. Dahyun took forever to make up her mind, staring long enough for your arm to fatigue.

Part of her didn’t want to enable and push her best friend into what looked like a hopeless abyss. Mina deserved much more. She deserved something safer, easier than whatever you brought to the table.

Then again this wasn’t her place to say. This wasn’t her game to play.

She just hoped Mina wouldn’t dismiss its risks.

—

Mina looked down at the paper in her hand, her features tensed in a mix of surprise and apprehension as she processed the words she’d managed to decipher.

« I’ll try really hard not to visit ever again, so if you ever miss me and have a moment to spare : xx xxx xxx. »

She took the numbers in as they slowly burned themselves into her mind. She tried to suppress that small hope within her as it prayed you’d written them well enough.

Needless to say it was a vain attempt. Her thoughts were scattered and she struggled to compose herself.

“What are you going to do?" Dahyun's voice broke an eerie silence that had settled itself in the break room, and Mina exhaled softly, her gaze lingering on your message.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, meeting Dahyun’s eyes. "It's complicated, you know that."

Dahyun nodded, understanding. Or at least she hoped it came across as because quite frankly she had no idea.

It was complicated, yes, but for her, the next step was a no-brainer.

"Maybe it's worth considering," she offered, her words gentle. “Just don’t do anything stupid.”

That pulled a chuckle out of the black haired woman next to her. “Like what?”

“I don’t know, but someone who needs to be stitched up every few months can’t not be involved in something dumb or careless.” Dahyun pointed out, but it only amused Mina even more. “I’m serious.” The nurse chuckled despite herself, “Something’s not right.”

“I can take care of myself.” Mina reassured, “I’m sure it’s nothing too bad. Careless maybe, but not dumb either.”

“How would you know?” Dahyun probed as Mina piqued at the nosiest part of her.

Mina only shrugged though, considering the paper in her hand. The weight of your message briefly pulled her thoughts back to the unspoken moments, the lingering emotions that built and shaped this odd link between the two of you.

"Just a feeling.”

—

“Looking to kill your winning streak?”

The coach’s voice resonated in the warehouse and you huffed out a breath, keeping your eyes from rolling back into your brain only to look at him instead. “What are you being so shy for? Hit it, damn it!”

You stayed silent, your jaw clenched shut to keep the thoughts in your head. The punching bag still swung back and forth behind you as you reached for the small bottle of water he was handing you.

The small ‘thank you’ you mumbled was enough for him to get off your back about respect and whatnot, but he still clung onto it about your arm.

“It’s been weeks, Y/n, you’ve had plenty of time to recover, come on…” He said, opting for a more gentle approach.

The switch up didn’t surprise you. He wasn’t exactly stable, but he was good at his job. Good enough to run this whole thing smoothly. You’d respect him if he weren’t so corrupt, pulling at big kids desperate enough for life to ruin it for them. People like you. Exposing them, showing them off in a violent spectacle only the richest could afford to enjoy.

The scheme was vicious. Designed to make staying in the only way out. To make him the only one you could turn to when life’s biggest troubles got too big to ignore.

He knew you well enough by now to know the gentle card wouldn’t work, but that’s also how he knew he had to give it a shot anyway. If not take action, you could open up.

You could, but you wouldn’t. Not to him. Your relationship didn’t allow it, as much as he tried to shape it that way over the years. Not that he was pushing it, he was decently nice. He cared. Just not enough.

You could feel it in the way he watched you, silent while his eyes questioned whatever you did he didn’t understand - which was almost always linked to whatever didn’t fill his pockets.

The edge of the ring pushed into your thighs as you took a seat there, staring into the space in front of you. Your gaze was vacant, you could feel yourself zone out, thoughts begging to drown into your heart and its selfish desire to burn over Mina’s absence; but the coach shaking his head kept you over the surface.

Seeing you space out was new, but he didn’t like how familiar the sight was getting.

You expected his rough tone to spit at you any second, but he surprisingly stayed calm. Too calm. So your eyes left the void to check on him, and his demeanor was all but reassuring.

You could feel his impatience grow by the second, the frustration practically radiating from him was off-putting, but the silence… It was as scary as it was encouraging.

“I need more time.” You finally said.

The words didn’t please him. They didn’t make you happy either. You’d love to be able to hit that bag as you used to just months ago.

“We can’t do that. People are damn near jumping the fence to see you fight, Y/n, you have to come back.”

“They’ll be fine.” You brushed off, feeling the guilt slowly weigh off your shoulders at the desperation in his voice. Something about hearing him beg, even implicitly.

You suddenly rose to your feet, feeling yourself growing wings as you clung onto the third rope of the ring. Entertaining the conversation seemed pointless, so you turned your back on him to get back to training. Something he made sure to prove as a mistake... He didn’t hesitate to burn those wings at the first sight of them.

He never did.

“But you won’t.” You heard him say. The words were heavy, probably because of how fast he’d thrown them at you.

Your features twitched, eyebrows creasing as you tried to argue, “I’m not ready.”

The weakness was bitter, obvious and unfair. Unfitting for a moneymaker like you. If anything you should be the one dictating things.

Yet he somehow always kept the reigns.

“You never were.”

—

His last words ran laps in your mind.

As hard as you tried to alter their course, nothing seemed to stop them. Nothing seemed to change.

The following days melted into themselves, fogging your memory with nothing but defeat.

You felt disoriented. Hopeless. Hurt. Yet somewhat motivated by it all. Problem was you had no goal to put it into.

This fighting thing proved itself to be nothing but a fickle string of glory. A glory you failed to even enjoy. Sure, the underground and illegal part of it didn’t help, but everyone around you seemed to do just fine.

Maybe you’ll ask them about it tomorrow. How they do it. For now you paced around the room, searching for a solution, only for your brain to come up with thoughts of her. You’d long passed the point of it being and feeling pathetic, surrendering to the insanity of the situation. Your soul yearned for the sense of peace she brought with her mere presence, and her absence was suffocating.

Why? It’s not like you were close. All she did was flirt back, it was no reason to get so attached.

You felt insane. Out of mind. All because of that bridge you’d humiliated yourself into trying to hold together.

Maybe giving her your number was a mistake. Maybe you’d have been better off keeping your distance.

Crossing those rarely ever was good.

—

Later that day, your apartment was cloaked in a hushed ambiance, the only source of light emanating from the soft glow of the TV screen as you absently filled up on what felt like a last meal.

A light, protein heavy collation you had no pleasure in swallowing. The only reason you were doing so was not to pass out mid-fight the next day.

You couldn’t go back to her. Not there.

So you folded into the old routine, only finding comfort in your favorite show playing in the background. It was a nice, fleeting distraction from the weight of your impending return to the fight club.

The night was slowly falling silent outside your walls. Your plate emptied itself slowly as episodes followed each other with few breaks in between. You nearly fell asleep from the monotony of it all, but the sound of your phone vibrating against the table jolted you back to full consciousness.

The screen had lit itself up, drawing your attention to the screen. An unknown number and a message that only made sense after connecting a few dots.

« I have a moment. »

Mina's words, a lifeline in the midst of this mounting anxiety.

Your fingers hovered over the screen, the weight of your feelings pulling them down to write and erase every word that came to mind before settling on a much simpler approach.

« Would you mind if I called? »

On the other side of the screen, Mina’s heart fluttered much to her dismay. Needless to say she was apprehensive, eyes fixated on your text while its content resonated in her mind. It stirred a few feelings she’d kept away and guarded for far too long now.

She wasn’t sure if she wanted to, but she knew she had to try. She owed it to herself. She’d risked too much, jeopardized too much of her sanity over you to leave without answers.

So she called.

This type of adrenaline was nothing compared to the one you got in the ring. The ring, it was cold. Chilling. The things you did, that you’ve done to get to where you were… It was a rush you were getting used to.

This one was different. Warm. Thrilling. It was new. A rush you looked forward to. No matter how much you denied yourself it.

“Hello?” You spoke into the phone after raising it to your ear. The line was silent for a second before you heard the soft timbre of her voice greeting you back.

Three weeks was the shortest time you’d gone without hearing it yet there you were; practically giggling to yourself over the few words you managed to exchange. The first ones that didn’t revolve around an injury or her scolding you for using her first name.

You made sure not to use it though, as you told her about this colorful place you liked to hang at. It wasn’t the most vibrant, but you found the atmosphere to be fitting for a talk. Cute even, if you’d dared to say.

Mina couldn’t help the flutter of her heart, the burning in her veins traveling all the way to her cheeks as she listened to you trying not to stutter over your words as you basically asked her out.

She could - and she would - have agreed to meet you in the following second, but something held her back, unlike the words pouring out of her mouth with no control, “Sounds lovely. But I don’t know…”

A small silence took over the line as you thought, “What… do you mean you don’t know?”

“It’s just that…” Mina sighed, “The hospital—”

“I’m not a patient anymore, Mina.” You cut her off, desperately clinging onto the small opening. Mina could sense that, letting her frustration slip into her tone.

“Yes, but for how long?” Another silence. Heavier this time. Longer. “We can’t know, right?”

Mina’s voice rung through the line, startling a thought you’d been dying to voice out to her.

“You can’t, but you do know something.”

“What?”

“You know exactly why I can’t make sure to never come back.” You partially confessed in hopes she would understand. “Don’t act dumber than you are, Dr. Mina.”

“That’s the thing, Y/n. I’m not.” She sighed. “I’m not. I don’t know why you show up in such states, I shouldn’t want to know as bad as I do, but something about you makes me—”

Mina stopped herself, realizing what her words were leading to. Somewhere a little too real and raw too quickly. She fought the tears begging to relieve her frustrations, and opted for another sigh. One soft, barely noticeable and far too weak to have any effect on her state of mind.

“It feels like I’m playing with fire.”

For the first time since you’d heard it, the sound of her voice hurt. You could tell how much it cost her to say those words. Just above a whisper, tainted by the shadows of her unshed tears. Ever so softly, like it would glide over the lines, the cracks staining the distance and reach you with no consequences.

“Listen…” You started. “I know you’ve been… curious about me. I know you’ve made your guesses, your bets, and I don’t know what those are. I can’t say I don’t care, because I do, but I have enough self-awareness to know they’re not the most positive.”

You paused in order to gather your thoughts. The next words you’d utter felt like the most important of your life. How worthless had it been… “I feel crazy just asking you this - I’ll understand if you don’t want to, but… I just want to see you. Talk to you, anything that’s not you fixing me up.”

There was a small silence again. It’s agonizing, not being able to tell where this was going. All you could do was wait. You were tired of it but it was suddenly worth it all. The pain, the silence, the longing. The quiet tears you let go off in the dark, the memories and wonders of her gentle soul tormenting you days after your stays.

“I want to see you too.”

[cozage]

Hello! I'm always tempted to go anon because for some reason, I expect judgment from people who are here for the same reason I am. It's very silly. But anyway. May I please have Law and Luffy in an Ace-Marineford situation (captured by the marines and set for public execution) with their s/o being the Luffy, head of the pack coming to save them. But like they survive! Maybe their s/o loses a limb or an eye or is badly hurt or something, but they survive and are together at the end. I'm here for angst, not more Marineford related trauma!

Thank you for your time.

A/N: Im so glad you don't turn anon! And I'm so glad you're here :) Ohhhkay! I imagine this takes place in Dressrosa. You get captured during the escape, and the Strawhats + Law rush to come to get you in Marineford. 

P.S. I realized you wanted Luffy and Law separately about 2/3rds through writing this story IM SO SORRY. 

Characters: gn reader x Strawhats & Law

Cw: reader peril, fighting, reader getting injured, Marineford spoilers

Total word count: 2k

How to Save a Life

Looking down at Marineford, Luffy found it all extremely foreign. He remembered the platform where you kneeled to the world. But everything else was unfamiliar. 

Of course, they had to rebuild a lot of it after Ace’s execution. Luffy remembered that much. The devastation that had been caused by both sides had been immense. But they had chosen to rebuild regardless. And now Luffy was back here again. For you. 

His entire command of 4,000 individuals had come along with him, as well as Law. But Luffy refused to allow the execution to drag on longer than it needed to. The world government knew how much of a threat he was now. And if he didn’t get to you quickly, they would kill you in a heartbeat. 

They had two Vice Admirals ready to perform the execution. Luffy’s conqueror haki wouldn’t impact them the way it had the last time. His best bet would be to get up close to you and get out. 

Everyone was frozen, waiting for the first person to make the move. 

“Please leave, Luffy!” you screamed, breaking the eerie silence that had begun the moment his ship rose from the sea. “It’s a tr-”

Akainu slammed his foot into your back, shoving you down into the ground to keep you quiet, and Luffy’s rage ignited. There was no way in hell that Luffy would allow Akainu to kill two people he loved. 

“Torao-”

As he spoke to get the other captain’s attention, a blue hue appeared around him. It didn’t encapsulate the entirety of Marineford, but it would get him closer to you. Close enough. 

“Ready!” Akainu commanded, and the two Vice Admirals raised their swords. 

Luffy gritted his teeth, praying he would get there in time. He felt his surroundings change, and suddenly he was in the middle of the air. His hand slung back and shot forward. But even if he could take out one of the executioners, there was still another sword that would end your life. You closed your eyes and braced yourself for the end. All you could do now is hope that Luffy and the others would make it out alive. 

A fist met your face, and you could feel your entire body blow backwards from the impact of the punch. You could hear the sound of two swords smack against the wooden platform, and you cracked an eye open to see what was happening. 

Luffy was soaring through the air, diving headfirst to you. He had punched you out of the way of the execution. It was such an idiotic but obvious answer, and of course Luffy thought of it.

He screamed your name, reaching out towards you. You could see the Marines tense, looking to Akainu for direction, but you didn’t care. The only person you cared about now was Luffy. 

“Luffy, wait!” you screamed, desperate to get him to stop. You expected that Akainu anticipated some kind of complication. To him, you were just bait for a bigger fish. “It’s a trap!”

“I’m coming for you!” Luffy yelled back. “Don’t stop fighting!” 

You knew he wouldn’t stop. You knew he didn't care if it was a trap. He had a panicked look in his eyes, only focused on you. So you listened to your captain. 

As Akainu approached you, his hand began flowing with magma. He was expecting you to cower, to be frozen in fear as Luffy had been the last time he was here. And when Akainu went in for the kill, Luffy would sacrifice himself to save you, just as Ace had last time. 

But you refused to let that happen. Luffy wouldn’t be dying for you. He wouldn’t be dying anytime soon. Not before he became king of the pirates. 

You scrambled away from Akainu as best you could, giving Luffy as much time as possible to come up with some kind of plan. Your shackles didn’t give you much movement on the platform, but it was enough to keep yourself away from him. 

You saw the outline of one of Luffy’s Elephant Gun attacks, and you braced yourself for another punch. The wooden platform splintered under you, and you felt rubber arms wrap around you, pulling you to him. 

“Watch the sea prism!” you cried out, but suddenly Zoro was next to you. He looked startled, as if he wasn’t expecting to be there, but he quickly examined the situation and drew his blades. He sliced your shackles off and grabbed your arm, trying to stop his forward momentum. You all tumbled to the ground, Luffy turning into a balloon at the last second to cushion your fall. 

“Stupid cannons,” Zoro mumbled, holding his swords out while looking at the Vice Admirals. Luffy stood next to him, gearing himself up for battle. Zoro glanced over at you and gritted his teeth in irritation. “Get back to the ship!”

You looked at the two of them, protecting you. “Luffy-” 

“Just get inside Torao’s room,” Luffy reasoned. For once in his life, he actually made sense. “Then we’ll join you.”

You nodded and turned on your heels to run towards the blue hue in the distance. You didn’t want to leave them, but you were the Navy’s primary target, and you knew everyone would be coming to attack you. You had to remind yourself this was a rescue mission, and if you died, then everything they did would be for nothing. 

You ran, fighting off Marines as you ran past them. You picked up a sword from a fallen soldier as defense, thankful for all of the times Zoro made you train with him. Marines were surrounding you slowly though, and you knew you wouldn’t last much longer like this. 

You had made a mistake. You knew that, and as much as you wanted to correct it, it was too late. Pain ripped through your abdomen, and you screamed out. A sword had found its way into your flesh, and you could see blood beginning to blossom from the wound area, spreading over your clothes. 

You wanted to collapse from the pain. To curl up and die, to give in to the will of the World Government. But you had to find a way to survive. You couldn’t die now, so close to freedom. Luffy would never forgive you. You couldn’t leave him alone. So you stabbed at the Marines, sweeping them to the side and continued on your journey. 

“Y/N!” Luffy’s voice came from behind you, screaming out in desperation. You were too tired to turn around and look at him, but you could hear the slap of his sandals as he approached you. It was all you could do to keep upright.

His arms wrapped around you, helping support you. The second you felt him, you leaned heavily into him, the adrenaline wearing off now that you knew you were safe. You still had at least 500 yards to go, but you knew Luffy wouldn’t let anything happen to you now. Your vision began to blur, and you suddenly felt very cold and very tired. 

“Don’t give up yet,” Luffy yelled, shaking you awake. “You have to keep moving.”

Luffy’s voice held a certain urgency that willed you back into the moment. You blinked away the sleep from your eyes and kept moving closer to the blue hue of safety. It was closing in fast, 400 yards, then 300, then 200. 

“Zoro?” You paused to look around for the mossy haired swordsman, but Luffy kept propelling you forward. 

“He’s holding off the admirals,” Luffy said, adjusting his grip around you. 

Luffy could feel you tense at that, but he kept moving. He was practically dragging you now from walking so fast. It was all your legs could do to not give out, but neither of you could worry about Zoro now. He was capable enough to hold his own against any enemies you faced, this was no different. 

You practically flung yourself into the blue sphere, and instantly felt weightless in the air, before dropping onto the deck of a ship. You groaned and rolled over, face to face with a green haired man that wasn’t Zoro. 

You yelped out in surprise, trying to scramble backwards away from the stranger. 

“Oh man, you look like you’re in rough shape!” the man said. “Nothing you haven’t been through before though, right?” 

You gave him a confused and irritated look, but he turned his attention from you and looked out. “A doctor! Y/N needs a doctor!”

“I’m a doctor, idiot!” You heard Law’s voice in the distance and felt calmer. At least you were amongst friends, even if you weren’t sure who they were.

“You can’t leave Mister Luffy and-” The green haired man spoke again.

“I’m not!” Law shot back. His voice was still strained, but it was softer when he addressed you. “Can you hold on a few minutes?”

You nodded, pressing your hand against your stomach wound. You needed to slow down the bleeding as much as possible. Your vision was hazy and you felt cold, but you forced your eyes to stay open. 

A few seconds later, Luffy and Zoro appeared next to you where some barrels were. Luffy ran to you, covering you in kisses. 

“Luffy,” you said, struggling to hang on to consciousness. “Tell Law I’m type F.”

“Type F?” he asked, looking at you with concern, but you had already given into the darkness. 

---

When your eyes fluttered open, you laid in a bed with bright lights above you. There was a mechanical whirring and steady beeps of machines, letting you know you were alive. 

“You were lucky,” Law said, looking down at you. “Incredibly lucky. If that blade had hit one more inch to the left and you wouldn’t be here now.”

You let out a shaky breath, scared of what could have been. “Thank you, Law,” you said.

He raised an eyebrow. “For what?” 

“Saving me?” you laughed, which in turn made you wince in pain.

“I didn’t save you,” Law said. “There wasn’t much I could do besides close up the wound.” His eyes darted to the bed next to you. “What you needed was a blood transfusion, which he helped with.”

You turned your head slightly to find Luffy sleeping in the bed next to you. He had a bandage wrapped around his arm, but other than that he looked relatively fine. 

“Luffy?” you asked, and Law nodded. 

At the mention of his name, Luffy stirred, mumbling a strew of syllables mixed between your name and different kinds of meat. After a moment, his eyes flicked wide open, and he bolted upright, looking around frantically. 

“Did we do it?” he asked, looking at Law. 

Law’s eyes darted over to you, and finally Luffy turned, his eyes meeting yours. A wide grin appeared across his face, and laughter bubbled up inside of him. 

“You’re okay!” he cried. Luffy jumped out of his bed and into yours, wrapping you tight in a hug.

You ignored the pain of your wound for the moment, thankful to be in his embrace again. 

“Get off!” Law scolded his fellow captain. “If that wound opens up again we’re all back where we started!”

“Sorry, sorry!” Luffy said, still giddy with the fact you were back in his arms. He loosened his grip, but didn’t let you go completely. 

You leaned in to him, trying your best not to cry. “Thank you, captain. Thank you for saving me. Twice.”

“I’ll always come back for you,” Luffy murmured in your ear, giving you a light squeeze. “No matter what. You’re stuck with me now, and I won’t let anything happen to you. That’s a promise.”

[awritersometime]

Can't hide you the truth

Wilhemina Venable x reader

I've got no warnings for this os, it's essentially fluff and a bit silly. I wrote it down using these two prompts "Please, stay on the phone with me." & "Stop telling me you're fine." I've been watching a lot of Modern Family recently, so it's not exactly angsty as one would expect. I hope it's decent anyway. Lemme know <3

It was the third time that I tried to reach out to her, but no answer. I know I shouldn't worry, but it wasn't like her to avoid my calls, especially if insistent. I start thinking about every little scenarios, from the worst to the least worst, with my mind focusing on the first ones obviously. What if she isn't feeling well? Maybe I did something bad without noticing? Could be? I quickly check the date on my phone, think a couple of seconds and no, it wasn't neither our anniversary nor any other special date worth remembering. I squint my eyes in thought. What was happening, then?

I tighten my grip on the wheel and let out a long sigh. On top of all of this, I'm stuck in the traffic, and visibility is partially limited due to the light haze covering the surroundings. I groan, after waiting a couple of extra minutes, "Siri, call Mina, again." I'd have tried to reach out to her on and on if I had to. I silently beg that she answers me, counting each second passing inside my head. In the meantime, I turn on the heating, because my fingers are getting cold due to their stillness on the wheel.

Finally, she answers. When I hear her voice, murmuring a soft "hi, little one", I let out a long breath, I didn't know I was holding. "Mina, hi! I've tried calling you for a while, is everything okay?", I wonder aloud, "Also, I'm stuck in traffic, " I make a face, "I go at a snail's pace if you're wondering and-", I stop a moment, realizing that, as per usual, I'm speaking on and on without giving my girlfriend the opportunity to answer any of my questions. I hear a faint chuckle from her part, when I mutter a faint, "Sorry."

"I was taking a shower, sweetheart, that's why I didn't answer," I frown at the sound of her voice, that appears to be a bit off, tired maybe... but also, kind of restrained. Normally she would tease me, use one of her sarcastic jokes to tell me how silly I am, but none today. "Are you sure it's just that?" It's not that I don't believe her. On the contrary, it's essentially because I do, that I believe there is more to it she isn't saying. Plus, she normally waits for me to take a shower, because it's our thing. One of the moments we share to enjoy the intimacy of one another. Each and every time she reminds me how much she loves to lather and rinse my hair, occasionally leaving sloppy kisses here and there on my skin. Her hands make my stomach flip and my head fly into outer space.

I avert my gaze from the street ahead of me to the phone, tempted to activate the camera, when she hums without giving me a verbal response. "Wilhemina...", I insist, in a sing song tone. She knows that when I use her full name, I'm either concerned or mad. I hope she knows it's not the latter. "Y/n...", she mimics my tone, probably wriggling her eyebrows too. I can't immediately tell if it's an attempt to take the edge off or not. Truth is, she gets particularly annoyed when I insist on asking her how she feels. I've learned to know that the last thing she wants is to feel a burden to me. It doesn't matter how many times I tell her she could never be, that my asking is simply a way to show her I love her. Yet it still doesn't stick in that stubborn head of hers for some reason.

"We have been on the phone for ten minutes and you haven't made any sexual innuendo yet," I point out. I start worrying for real, when she doesn't even chuckle at that. Perhaps, she has a bad back pain? Or maybe those dickheads at work did something bad to her? I need answers or I'll go crazy, "Little one, how many times do I have to tell you I'm fine to make you believe it?", I can tell she is trying to use a more cheerful tone, but it breaks my heart that after all this time she still tries to hide from me. I sigh tiredly, as i slowly massage the root of my nose, "we can continue for all the time you want, or you can just tell me the truth," considering I move at the pace of an ant carrying ten thousand times its weight, I let my guard down and rest my chin over my  arm.

I don't hear her tapping her cane, so I suppose she is sitting somewhere, or maybe she is lying down. She normally would have after an answer like that, but purposefully avoids what I just said, to ask, "Are you still long away? Where are you precisely?", her voice seems to crack a bit when she pronounces her second question. Or maybe it's only my imagination considering she insists on saying she is fine. I blink softly, still taking a mental note on that. "Uhm," I look around me, before answering, "I'm pretty close. If it wasn't for this traffic, I'd be there in five minutes at max. I just passed the florist on the 14th street, " I inform her and she hums. I can almost hear her breathing through the phone. It's like she is clinging to it, keeping it super close to her ear. I can almost see her frowning, her slow blinking.

If the camera was on, I'm sure I'd recognize it in a split second. "Mina...", I voice out softly, "are you in pain, love?", she takes a while to respond, giving me the further proof I didn't need. Yet, she decides to keep lying to me. "No, of course not, why would you think that?"she says flatly. As she speaks I shake my head in slow motion, without beliving a single word that is coming out of her. "Babe...", a bitter smile cracks my lips. I'm hurt honestly, but I push past that pain to focus on hers, "I told you, I'm-", "Stop telling me you're fine." I interrupt her, my voice laced with urgency and deep care. I'm pretty sure she's just rolled her eyes at me now, which puts a brief smile on my face. Wilhemina can be the most stubborn woman in the whole world, when she tries.

I lost count of all the times I reminded her that hiding, lying, pretending serve no good in a committed relationship like ours. It's okay to ask for help. It's okay to be in pain and tell your girlfriend about it. There is no shame in it, but Wilhemina is still so proud to let go to such vulnerabilities without a little fight. "Do you want me to lie to you?", I scoff and say, "You're already doing that, that's why I'd like you to stop," I grin softly, when I hear her groan on the other side of the phone.

Without noticing the car before me has come to an halt. I almost bump into it, but I manage to help it by hitting the brake by force the very last minute. My car boings off a bit and as consequence I bounce on the seat, "Woah, shit!", I curse under my breath, but loud enough for Wilhemina to hear. "Y/n? What happened?", she questions, her voice an octave higher, "Are you alright?", I can't help but melt at her caring tone, "Yeah, all good, still alive unluckily for ya, " a hint of a smile graces upon my lips, when she scoffs and calls me imprudent for getting distracted while driving.

I know how much she hates it when I multitask while on the road, but in my defense, she is giving me enough reason to worry about her with all those unnecessary mysteries. "You should keep your eyes on the street, little one. We can talk once-" I don't let her finish, letting out a loud and urgent, "No!", instead. I sigh and move my finger over my smartphone to activate the camera. When she can see me but in return I'm still facing a black screen, I snort again, "I mean it- I will not let you change the topic, Mina," nothing changes yet. "Can I see my girlfriend or should I speak to a black screen?", I pout and she hums in thought, "Come on!", I insist.

"I'd very much prefer you focused on driving, little one," she says as I hear her sigh, and slowly shift position. Something tells me she was lying down by the sound of the sheets moving underneath her. Now she is sitting up, I'm sure, "Please, stay on the phone with me," I whine, displaying my infallible, fine as hell, pickle lips. I hear a faint chuckle from her. She is probably shaking her head too. I'm dying to kiss that face once I'm back home, "Besides, I can multitask," I add to prove my point. I hear her click her tongue in response, a clear sign she doesn't agree with me, "Like that time you tried to make french toasts and record the episodes of 'Orange is the new Black'?", she teases and I gasp in shock. Each and every time, she uses that story against me to prove a point. "Stop using that story! It's as old as the birth of Rome!"

She chuckles, "It doesn't make it less efficient, though," she retorts making me snort, "If you don't turn on the camera right now I'll scream," I'm playing all the cards at my disposal now, and this one beyond my wild expectations works, "Fine! I wouldn't want to arrange your funeral for bumping into a car that goes about eight miles per hour," I squint my eyes towards her and fake a chuckle. When I finally see her, a sense of guilt rushes over me. She looks... exhausted. Her soft red locks, loose on the shoulders, are still partially damp from the shower. Her eyes looks weary, not fully open either, probably because they carry a mild headache along with the back pain. Her lips, however, are stretched in a placid smile. It feels like she is trying to force some vibrancy out of her. But she doesn't have to, especially when she isn't in the mood. I wish she knew.

"It's the back, isn't it?", I say tentatively and she simply gives me a nod of her head. "m' sorry. I'm almost there, alright?", she cracks a smile, ready to diminish her pain, but I hear none of that, "I'll take care of dinner when I come back. Lie down on the left side, I remember it's the position that is most comfortable to you, then uhm— medicine's in my bedside drawer," I continue, remembering to having put a tin of pills there. She raises an eyebrow at that, "Should I run to the drugstore to get you anything else?", if it wasn't for Wilhemina, I'd probably never stop rambling, especially when it comes to her, "Y/n, for the love of God, just relax," there is some strictness in her tone, that makes me obey like a puppy to her owner.

"I'm a big girl. I don't need a babysitter doing things for me," I know she doesn't mean to be harsh with me. It's the pain speaking for her. Instead of answering to the provocation, I simply smile at her, "Oh I know, you certainly don't need a babysitter, but I do, look--" I point out at the greenish spot on my once white and immaculate blouse, "I stained it with the avocado cream," I feel like coming back to life when her eyes soften and she lets out a quiet, low chuckle, while shaking her head, "Why am I not surprised?", she hums amusedly, and I stick my tongue out at her in response. "Have you been working like that all day long?", she wonders in disbelief, while I nod solemnly, "Yep, ma'am," I say, popping the "p" childishly, "Add the laundry to the list of things you have to do once you come back," she teases and I giggle softly, "Fist things first," I say, with a wink.

"Oh, I wonder what those would be?", I pretend to think a couple of seconds, before saying, "Kissing my girlfriend for a start, brushing her hair, giving her a massage, make her some tea, kissing her again--", Mina hardly stifles a laugh and says, "Alright, fine, I got it. Get your ass over here, I've waited long enough," I nibble on my bottom lip as I recognize the familiar twinkle in her eyes. "Oh, my, my, looks like I've arrived," I chant and before we know it I find myself stopping the car right in front of our house. She smiles and a light blush comes coloring her cheeks, "At last," she mutters, looking at me with nothing but pure love in the eyes.

[yardsards]

reading the things you post/rb while not knowing what the adventure zone is is kinda funny. I'll be scrolling my dash and see "NAH 'CAUSE BEANIEMAN GOT SO SCHLORPED WHEN THE PIANO FLAVORED STICK OF DEODERANT GOT SCAMMED" and I'm so tempted to get context, but it feels like life would be funnier without it

okay so like. the adventure zone is an actual-play ttrpg podcast (aka they record themselves playing dungeons and dragons and similar games and then edit down the recording so it's fun to listen to)

and it's kind of like 5+ different podcasts in a trenchcoat. cuz there's 5 completely separate games (well, 5 plus a couple way shorter games, but 5 main ones). and since each game is already pretty wild on its own, the fact that there are FIVE OF THEM definitely makes it sound extra bizarre to outsiders lol

there's:

1: balance: a standard fantasy world with some minor sci-fi elements. it's about heroes tracking down and neutralizing dangerous magical items and uncovering secrets about their own pasts. by far the most popular season and imo the best, but it gets off to a slow start

2: amnesty: a story about cryptids and magic in a modern day appalachian setting. been a while since i listened to this one tbh and i don't talk about it as much

3: graduation: young adults going to magic college and getting wrapped up in a demon war. this is the least popular one but not actually bad imo

4: ethersea: freelance adventurers from an undersea city exploring the world in a magical post-apocalyptic setting. my fav behind balance

5: steeplechase: like a defunctland video meets a heist movie, secret crime rings operating within a theme park. very fun, still in progress

they're released kind of like different seasons of a show, one after the other, but each "season" doesn't actually need to be listened to in order (ie you can listen to steeplechase before balance, but you'd have to start at ep 1 of steeplechase and not just skip to steeplechase ep 32 or else you'd be really confused)

honestly i've been halfway considering getting different tags for each game but i'm too lazy to change now

ANYWAY

the thing about the adventure zone is that it's a *comedy* podcast first and foremost. so most of the weird bizarre funny bits are just as funny and batshit insane even WITH context. hell, i'd say a lot of it is even MORE funny if you know what's going on.

though there is also some buckwild shit that you just get desensitized to. like one of the 3 protagonists of balance is named *taco* (but spelled taako) because it was originally just gonna be a silly one-off episode, so the player was like "haha i'm gonna be XD random and annoy my dm with this zany noun name", not knowing that there were gonna be 68 more episodes and it would eventually grow into a deeply emotionally moving story. so by the end you're fucking sobbing over this character's love and loss and you forget that "taco" is not a normal thing for an elf/wizard to be called

it's absolutely delightful

[tvbbosdarling]

ranboo fae cg headcannons:)

Fae!Ranboo Caregiver Hcs

Warnings: None!

Notes: AHH MY FIRST REQUEST :DD And this person is very lovely~ so not alot of little gear in this fic, this time on purpose, but still hope it's enjoyable~ Thank you for your request!! I didn't have too many ideas for Ranboo ^^" Plus my tumblr is being so wonky >:( But I hope you enjoy this my lovely requester!~

- When travelers come by, the village makes sure to give them one rule. Do not enter the forest. They try their best to make a clear path so they don't get lost, The fae live in the forest don't you know? Creatures who will trick you. With pretty eyes and smooth skin followed with tempting words, So tempting you'll ignore the fluttering wings behind them..

- Ranboo knows the village people know this, so to sense someone in his forest confused him to say the least. Even more when he sees how.. Well.. Small you are. He feels a strange urge to pick you up, his mind pulling at him about it. Is it your height that makes you seem so small to him? He thinks there's something more..

- When you come close to his mushroom ring, he appears gently. Sitting on the ground with fluttering wings, and wow are mortals always this small??? "Are you okay? You seem lost.. Do you need help traveler?"

- He may be.. Well, more nervous when it comes to this stuff but he has a job to do. He tries to trick you into giving your name up and when you manage to avoid getting tricked by him, he watches you leave.. And wonders how old you are.

- Then you come back, Ranboo's surprised but hey- it's very lonely in the forest and other faes are only so interesting, but you are something new. Something interesting.. So anyway, you two, similar to my Fae!Wilbur hcs, are bound to start growing close once you keep coming back!!

- Now, Ranboo doesn't mean to baby you. But you are oh so small and he can't help but ask questions. "Have you always been this small?", "You are so tiny- Wait, can I see your hand?" So if you end up slipping because of the comments, then congrats! You now have your very own fae caregiver!!

- Fae!Ranboo as a caregiver is anxious, he's very overprotective and always, always carries bandaids with him. And yes they are Disney princess themed. But after a bit of him taking care of you, he'll start to relax but he still carries the bandaids with him!! Just incase.

- Ranboo actually makes his own nail polish out of berries and some other ingredients!!! (fae magic probably) so he's only too happy to let you paint his nails, or paint in general!! If you wanna get crafty, he will make you some paints and let you paint on pieces of wood.. Although he does triple check to make sure the wood is splinter proof, woo fae magic!!

- Ranboo loves to cradle you, sometimes he'll sneak up behind you and just pick you up, spinning you all around as he laughs. He loves to tease you, especially if you giggle with him. "Hmmm??? Why are you giggling- Okay. Well if you're gonna giggle, then you need to know about another fae custom.. Once fae hear an adorable baby laugh then the tickle monster comes out! What do you mean I'm lying? Fae can't lie silly~ so It's true-"

- Fae naturally attract animals, but Ranboo naturally attracts cats. So sometimes when you two are playing a cat will sneak up, rubbing themself against Ranboo and you.. There's one particular cat Ranboo named 'Garfield', that tends to supervise you if Ranboo has to look away to grab more berries. He's basically Ranboo's spy-

- The cats adore you. The cats especially adore when you are smaller because they love to lay on your lap and purr while you and Ranboo are cuddling, the purring is very calming and they lick you very gently- Also if you ever cry when your smaller, The cats will come running and will lick you to try and soothe you.

- Ranboo tends to call you his 'flower', or 'honey'. "Ah, What did you find flower?.. Ohh it's a very adorable ladybug!" "Honeyy~ Its sleepy time~ Are you running- honey we can't- stop giggling! Alright fine. Then the big mean papa is gonna come get you~"

- While Ranboo doesn't have a very good memory, he does remember everything you tell him. About your stuffies, about your favorite color, your favorite food- Its actually weirdly incredible how he remembers all of it. It's written all in his book, or your book. He made you a book that is customized for you !! You get to color in it, put fun facts in it.. It also has the more basic things, some rules and things!

- Ranboo loves to make silly voices for stuff animals, and he will randomly make the most dramatic stories for them?? Which also means he'll do finger puppets for you. "How dare you Garfield! You ate the lasagna.. When you said Mickey ate it!.. I am betrayed. Devastated.." "that's so strange, because while I ate the lasagna.. I know you ate the brownies!" *insert gasp*

- Ranboo is definitely more of a dad caregiver, which means he happily accepts all titles. Daddy, Dada, Bubba, Papa, Boo. He's happy with all of them and his smile gets brighter when ever you refer to him with your title of choice!!

- Ranboo tries to be educational, I mean small brains need to learn right? But sometimes you look so adorable and he doesn't have the heart to tell you if you get something wrong. "Mhmm, and what color is this?.." if it's blue and you say it's purple, Ranboo will simply nod and agree with you. "G-Good job honey!-"

- Nap time is definitely his favorite time though, he loves to cuddle. He especially loves being able to wrap his arms around you as you two look at the sky, he will rub your hands in a gentle massage as he hums. He isn't much of a singer, but if you want a bedtime story- he can definitely do that. "Hm? A story? Sure, let's see.."

"There once was a papa kitty and a baby kitty, the papa kitty loved the baby kitty very much.."

[geralts-yenn]

2023 character wrapped

@deandoesthingstome knows too well I get a little obsessive over some characters - let's see if I can make it to nine (or if I can stop at nine 😁 a look onto my masterlist that's barely a year old tells me we will get there)

Here we go...

My no 1: No surprise here - Mikey

He's my precious silly boy and I will never stop loving him. As part of a family of lunatics here or here, as our best friend, or as the cute neighbor who steals the heart of Nina and Mel

2. Melot

I blame @raccoon-eyed-rebel for introducing me to the slutty lil' braid boy. Just look at that grumpy, miserable little guy. I can't help but thinking about how to make him feel better. That's why he gets the love from not only one but two lovely persons in my Hearts Too Big universe. He's still not quite happy as a vampire in Believe in Me, but I swear we'll get to it.

3. Syverson

Not much of a surprise - how could I not love him? He's the character I read the most this year, for sure. But I also loved to write him into my bonfire story and it's follow up. I was yearning for him and I imagined him as a daddy 🥰

4. Evan

Oh, he was a surprise for me. Even though I liked his character in the movie, I didn't intend to write for him. Until a lovely nonnie put him into my brain and started to fuel my obsession with him here, here and here.

5. Walter

The grumpy bear was always a favorite of me when it came to reading but I was a little scared to write him by myself. In the end, I'm quite happy with the outcome when I finally dared.

6. August Walker

Another one that I love but didn't dare to write. Until it was too tempting to add him as the vampire king in Believe in Me. And then those little pieces of smut here and here with the vampire king were surprisingly easy to write.

7. Napoleon Solo

I love the smooth spy. I had so much fun to pair him up with the lovely Amina and I totally plan to get back to Leon sometime in the future

8. Charles

I wish I had more time to explore his character. I love him so much - especially when he's put into a modern AU. I kinda did this to him as my sidekick for Melot. And I have a wip in my folders, sleeping for way too long, where he's the most annoying and yet adorable duke. I really hope I get to the point where I can introduce him to you.

That's everyone I have written for this year. But I surely don't stop here with obsessing

I won't count Geralt, Will and all the other characters of Henry Cavill because this post is already too long for anyone to read, lol.

But I surely have to count the man himself

9. Henry Cavill

Yes, I am obsessed with this man and I am not sorry! I guess I won't ever get back to the unfinished RPF that got me into writing at all but I will not stop loving the adorkable man that he is.

And then there are still some guys that don't look like Henry:

9. Dean Winchester

I had almost forgotten how much I loved him. Until I introduced the teenager to Supernatural and spent a lot of evenings this year watching that stupid little shit 😍

10. Billy Russo

One of my favorite roles for Ben. And so many good fics out there that I need to explore at some point.

11. Jack Reacher

Very recent addition to the hunks in my head. I love the new season and I'm definitely not immune to that man's visual charms.

I think I will stop here, even if I could name probably another 12...

@ellethespaceunicorn @peyton--warren @gummydummy19 @jvanilly @ronearoundblindly @ylva-syverson want to talk about your favorite characters?

[forever-rogue]

ma'am I have another request that won't leave my silly lovesick brain. How about reader is sad/stressed and working themselves to the bone, so Steve tries to get them to relax by coaxing them into dancing (kinda like in HP deathly hallows p1 when Harry and Hermione dance in the tent) to slow or upbeat music, your choice!

OR Steve and reader slow dance in the living room after surviving the upside down/stopping vecna (kinda like Steggy at the end of endgame) and it's all calm and peaceful 🥺 thank you kindly 💜 ilysm 😘

AN | First of all, ilysm Alyssa 🥺 Second, I went with the first option and hope you all enjoy🥰

Warnings | None

Pairing | Steve x Fem!Reader

Word Count | 2.2k

Masterlist | Steve, Main

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

Your eyelids felt like sandpaper every time you blinked. Despite rubbing at them, they remained dry and burning. On top of that your eyelids were getting heavier and heavier with each passing moment. The yawns that kept periodically slipping past your lips didn't help either. You'd have to go to bed soon.

But you still had so much work to do. Maybe you could just push through a little bit longer. Surely your brain would cooperate a little bit more. All you had to do was push through.

"Knock knock," Steve's voice was gentle and soft as he rapped his knuckles against the doorframe so he wouldn't startle you. You closed your eyes and let out an almost inaudible sigh before you swiveled around to face him, "hi baby. It's getting late and you've been at it for hours."

"Stevie," his name came out in a quiet whisper as you smiled at him. He looked ridiculously and effortlessly pretty standing there in his pajamas, hair floppy and messy, glasses perched on his nose. You really wanted to walk away from everything and fall into his arms…but you just had a little more to do, "I'm almost done, promise."

"That's what you said a few hours ago," he came over, standing in front of you with hands on his slim hips. He leaned down to kiss you, softly and gently, before you could protest, "its almost midnight."

“‘m sorry love,” you offered him an apologetic little pout, but he wasn’t having it. His hand delicately found your face as he traced his thumb along your bottom lip, and you keened into his touch, “I just want to get this done. It’s just a little more and then I’ll be finished for the night.”

“I think you should come with me now,” he wasn’t pushing, wasn’t trying to force you or tell you what to do but fuck, he was really hoping you’d just go along wih him, “please?”

“Soon Stevie,” you promised, trying to ignore the way his face fell. You knew that he meant well, but you really needed to get this work done, “you don’t have to wait up for me.”

“Alright,” he agreed after a few moments of silence before tenderly brushing a few stray locks of hair out of your face, “let me at least make you a cup of tea. Something to help you relax - lavender chamomile with honey?”

“You know me so well,” while he was still tempted to pull you away from your work and spirit you away to bed, he was happy that at least you were allowing him to do something for you, “that would be great.”

He tutted lightly, before making his way to the kitchen. He grabbed your favorite mug from the cabinet as he set the kettle on the stove. He always knew that you were an incredibly hard worker; it was one of the many things he loved about you, but sometimes he just wanted to shake you and tell you that it was okay to take a break. He was worried that you would keep working at the level and pace that you were currently going at and would eventually have a mental break. But he vowed that he would never let it get that far. Steve Harrington was a thousand wonderful things, including the best and most supportive boyfriend. 

 By the time he came back to the small spare room that served as the office, he found you almost slumped over in your chair. He said your name softly a few times before you stirred and looked at him, pretending as though knowing had happened. He set the steaming mug of tea next to you, trailing his hand over your arm before giving your shoulder a gentle squeeze.

“Only a little longer, okay?” he whispered softly in your ear before pressing a kiss to the side of your side, “I won’t hesitate to come in here, throw you over my shoulder, and carry you to bed, sweetheart.”

"I would expect nothing less," you put your hand on top of his much larger and gave it a gentle squeeze, "thank you, Stevie."

But…you didn’t end up joining him soon after. You’d worked as you drank the tea he had prepared for you, deciding you would join him once the mug was empty. Somewhere between that and trying to finish the last bit of reading you had, you’d fallen asleep. Right with your head on the book and drool causing the page to stick to your face. Steve had come back to check on you,  but as soon as he heard you snoring softly, he tutted heavily.

“Baby, baby, baby,” he whispered, crouching down so he was face lebel to you. You stirred slightly at the sound of his soft voice, but couldn’t bring yourself to open your eyes. He brushed your hair out of your face and before stroking your cheek. A small sound escaped your lips that caused him to smile, “you passed out on me, baby. And just like I promised I’m taking you to bed.”

“‘kay,” you murmured as you shifted towards the sound of his voice. He wiped at the corners of your mouth, before kissing your forehead. You held up your arms towards him, and he wasted no time in slipping his under yours and pulling you into his chest. You peeked open an eye and smiled lazily at him. Even when exasperated and tired, he was still the picture of perfection, “you’re so pretty, Stevie.”

“Okay sleepyhead,” you felt his chuckle rumble in his chest as you wrapped your arms around his neck and let your body melt into his, “I think it’s well past your bedtime. You’re clearly not thinking straight.”

“I’m being serious,” your soft insistence was enough to cause him to shake his head in amusement as he carried you towards the bedroom, “you’re really pretty, Steve Harrington, and I always mean it.”

“You’re really pretty too,” he grinned as he set you down on your side of the bed. You shimmied under the covers and wrapped them around your body. It was deliciously warm and smelled like Steve. It might have been your favorite spot in the entire world and all you needed was your boyfriend to crawl in next to you and hold you, “comfy?”

“Mhmm,” there was a sleepy little smile on your face, “just need some cuddles please.”

“I can do that,” he got in next to you and slung a strong arm around your waist as he pulled against him, “you’re so soft, just like an angel. Sometimes I don’t understand how you’re real.”

“You’re an angel,” you pressed a kiss to his shoulder before trailing your lips across his collarbone, “you’re my angel. Always take such good care of me, Stevie. I love you sooo much.”

“I…” he paused for a moment; you never shied away from giving him affection, but sometimes it still caught him off guard. Growing up he never had nearly enough love given to him, but you gave it to him tenfold, and then some. He blinked back a few tears before squeezing you just slightly tighter, “I love you too, baby.”

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

A few evenings later Steve felt like he was in a daze of deja vu. He was standing in the kitchen, washing the last of the dishes as you sat at the dining room table, once again doing more work. He watched you for a few moments, silent as you scribbled away in your notebook, head bowed as you looked over your book. If you remained like that too much longer, he knew that you would have a horrible crick in your neck. He sighed lightly to himself before drying his hands and tossing the dishrag onto the table. 

“Baby,” his hands settled on his waist as he looked over at you. You didn’t even move or make a sound to show that you had heard him. He took a few steps closer and leaned on the counter, “honey, baby, sweetheart.”

“Mhmm,” finally there was some sort of acknowledgement, even though he would have preferred you stop, look up, and talk to him. Ideally, you’d drop everything and run into his arms, but he wasn’t expecting a miracle just yet. 

“It’s getting late again,” he looked outside and found only the artificial golden light of the streetlamps and a few stars glittering in the sky. Too late, “I think it’s okay if you put the books away and stop for the evening.”

“Soon,” you didn’t even look at him, only flailing your hand slightly. He sighed, not even bothering to hide it before slowly making his way over to you. When his frame blocked out some of the light, you huffed and moved your books, “almost done.”

“That’s what you said two nights ago,” he reminded you, “and then you fell asleep on your book and I had to carry you to bed. Remember?”

“Yeah,” you shrugged lightly, “I’m feeling okay. I’ll join you in a little bit.”

“Nope,” he shook his head with a fierce determination. He normally wouldn’t have argued with you, but he was tired of seeing you work yourself to the bone. You were tired more often than not, you looked worn down, and just seemed so…over it. Steve hated seeing you like this and while he wished he could make it all better, but all he could do was support you. And right now, he was choosing to support you by making you take care of yourself. 

You hadn’t looked up, but as soon as he gently pulled the pen out of hand and closed your book and notes, your attention snapped up and your mouth dropped open at the fierce look in his eyes. You held up your hands as a sign of surrender, “okay, okay. I’m alright, Stevie.”

“No,” he insisted, holding his hand out to you, “you are running yourself ragged and I can’t watch it anymore. You need to take care of yourself and if I have to be the one to make you do so, then I’ll do it.”

“Steve,” part of you wanted to protest everything he said, but you knew he was right. And you knew he was doing it out of love. That’s what made your heart constrict and feel like it was about to burst at just how much he loved you, “I-”

“Don’t even try and argue with me,” he put a finger to your lips as he tenderly shushed you, “I’m not having it-”

“Okay,” the corners of your mouth pulled up into a small smile.

“I’m just worried about you,” he sighed lightly, “you deserve a break-”

“Alright.”

“And even if I have to take everything away from you and hide it all, I will-”

“Yes sir.”

“You deserve to be taken care of as much as you care for everyone else-”

“I agree.”

“And I want you to know just how much I love you. Which is more than anything,” he insisted softly.

“I love you too.”

“I - wait,” it suddenly hit him, “oh. You’re not arguing.”

“I know,” you stood up so you were standing in front of him, looking up into those soft, puppy dog eyes, “I’m not. I love you, Stevie. And…even if you’re an overly dramatic fool sometimes, I love you so much.”

Steve’s gentle hands found your face as he studied you. You never felt so vulnerable and open but also so safe and loved; it was like those soft eyes could see straight into your soul. You supposed he could in a way - no one knew you better than he did. 

“I love you,” he pressed big, sloppy, playful kisses to your neck, chin, cheeks, and nose before stopping at your lips, “even if you are a stubborn little thing sometimes.”

“Me? Stubborn?” you joked sweetly, “dunno where I learned that from…probably you.”

He pretended to glare for a moment before he gave in and nodded, “alright, alright. I’ll give you this one.”

“As you should,” you promised as you tipped yourself up to press a kiss to your lips, “pretty boy.”

“I have an idea,” his eyes lit up as you raised an eyebrow at him in question, “do you trust me?”

“More than anyone,” he took your hand and laced his fingers through yours as he pulled into the kitchen with him. He let go for just a moment as he darted into the living room and turned on the record player in the living room, putting on one of your favorite records. He sauntered back in and stood in front of you, holding out his hand to you, “may I have this dance?”

Your face broke into a huge smile and flushed with warmth at the intimate gesture. But you put your hand in his, and let him pull you closer to him, “of course. Always.”

“Yeah?” he asked softly, so quietly that you almost didn’t hear it. You nodded and he tugged you into his chest, wrapping his arms around your waist.

“Yeah,” you bruised your face into his chest and breathed him in sofly, “always. Thank you for taking such good care of me, Stevie.”

“You do the same for me,” he squeezed his eyes closed as he started to sway to the music, “love you, pretty girl.”

“Love you more, Stevie.”

[janacademia]

a small rant on friends

what are friends exactly? what qualities does it take for one to be categorised as your friend? do we have different prerequisites for considering different people as friends? are we all a little hypocritical that way? friends are amazing. friends are funny in some ways

you may have 10 and 20 dozen pictures with someone u don't even like that much from the inside but just that one low-quality one with the one you love the most. the one picture they hate the most. the one picture u were asked to delete because it didn't turn out good and you never took another one. you may not have any pictures with some of your favourite people and it confuses me the most. how is it that we have only one picture and yet how is it that I trust you the most

why is it that u make the very best of memories with someone and a few months or years later have absolutely nothing to show for it? how cruel is it that only the both of us remember and really know all the beautiful moments we got to experience together...u will probably have forgotten most of it and the memory of the human brain will prevent me from remembering it all from A to Z. how is it that it can take months after months to open up and finally trust someone but only a second to strip all the trust and love away? why is it that all the things they said only remain a small fading memory in your head and parallelly you still have the painful pictures of people you don't even care about anymore? what sort of cruel irony is that? And why is it that the ones you give your entire heart to promise to never hurt you and promise to never leave but let you go the second things get a little tough and forget the things that they probably didn't even mean? why is it that you continue to still love these people and have a spot for them somewhere in your heart which would allow them to come back into your life and storm out again?

why is it that the most beautiful of friendships run on limited time and that how much ever you try u can never get it back again? and why is it that a friend leaving hurts 100 times more than any romantic rejection or breakup? why does it still sting me to not hear u call me by my nickname or even just my name for that matter? I'm tempted to yell your nickname out every time we pass but instead, I just look away or give you a formal glance.

why do I still hope you're doing fine and that you achieve all the good things u wanted in life? that all of the dreams u shared with me become true and all that everything you deserve comes to you. why do I still hope for you to shine and never fail in life after you bailed on me and claimed you were never mine?

why is this something I feel like I'll never be able to get over and why do u have such a hold on me after all this time? it feels like something I'll get used to living with and it will probably reduce over time but this ghost of you will never leave my side, the things that I said to make you laugh and all your silliness intertwined. why did we even have to become friends, to begin with, and why did u have to be the best person I ever met?

why are u the most selfish and egoistic asshole I know and yet I will always be willing to help with anything u need my help with. what do I do with all this anger this pain and all the love I have for you

where do I place it and what do I do with it

you already got out of my life now don't you think it's high time you got out of my head too?

[purplebass]

I agree that Holland is mega sus! Kosika's trust is instantaneous and though she comes off quite maturely - she is still a child and has this quite romanticised view of him. What will rekindling the fire do? Although part of me hopes they are successful - i'm rereading ADSOM and even that brings up the lack of balance between the worlds. I think Black London is such a cool concept and i'd love to see more of it. How can they prevent a repetition of Black London's fall once the gates are opened? What will that mean for Antari?

I also really like your idea of Kell and Lila's link, a more organic version of the sharing of power. Perhaps reflecting their relationship too, Schwab is setting up this need on Kell's part to be explicitly told that Lila loves him. A balancing of power and also expectations.

I do wonder about Tes though, it seems she'll reinforce the wards - and make the better, so will it be easy for someone to steal her? Although, she does give us a closer view into what Maris has going on. An opportunity to know her backstory. And i agree we're definitely seeing Serival.

Bex and Calin feel like they've been put on a bus, it'll be interesting to wonder where the portal to *nowhere* is. Last time someone got yeeted through a portal, they came back alive so!

Another reply under the cut because of spoilers lol (sorry again for the length but when I start to ramble about things I like no one can stop me... XD) I've divided it in paragraphs with titles so the navigation is easier lol

-> Kosika/Holland... and the parallels with Kell/Rhy

Yes, Kosika is a loose cannon imo. Quiet but powerful. While she seems to listen to what "Holland" says, she's in that phase of life when she is curious about the world. Maybe he pretends to act all "Kosika don't do this" but it is just his way to push her to do things because he sees that while she is loyal, she is also tempted.

I don't know why, but Kosika reminds me so much of how Kell behaved in ADSOM before he met Lila. A loyal dog until he met someone who made him realize that he could be/do whatever the heck he wanted. In fact Kell has his rebellion at the end of AGOS - maybe that's what will happen with Kosika in Threads #2? Funny that their name also starts with the letter "K": hint?

Going back to "Holland", I've also noticed how he's theoretically "acting" thanks to Kosika. And to keep the parallels with ADSOM and with Kell, don't you think he is behaving like the black stone? I mean the way the black stone influenced Kell. So it might reinforce the idea that "Holland" isn't the real Holland but a presence that comes from Black London, maybe. Because the stone was the reason the og Holland survived at the end of ADSOM. Maybe that's how the real "Holland" could survive and give his power to Kosika. Because it was something inside of him that corrupted the order (since Kosika shouldn't have been Antari, if magic could chose).

I've realized they have the same "bond" Rhy and Kell have: "Holland" (and his power) is "alive" only because Kosika is alive, just like Rhy is "alive" because Kell is alive. Maybe by killing Kosika, "Holland" and whatever is attached to him, will die... or even the opposite. By killing Kosika, "Holland" may be revived, but he needs to make White London powerful again. It would be a problem for "Holland" if Kosika loses her loyalty to him.

-> How can they prevent a repetition of Black London's fall once the gates are opened? What will that mean for Antari?

These are interesting questions and I think we may find the answer in the past. I believe that the only way to prevent the repetition is not to be tempted by the black magic. Resistance? Even if it seems silly, it's also a parallel to ADSOM (when Kell/Lila have the black stone and they are tempted but they try to resist) or ACOL (when Osaron tries to possess people and they fought the darkness). Maybe this darkness will be too strong and it may change Antari's existence for good. I wonder if Lila "losing" her powers when she was kidnapped and Kell "losing" his powers after (when they had to close the door) could be foreshadowing of a future where they might have to use all their power to fight the dark from Black London and all of this may change the world forever. Maybe everyone will lose their magic or maybe they will lose their Antari status? Because it's a blessing/curse. As if magic chose the people who became Antari and "knew" they could fight the duality of what that status entitles. Perhaps that's why the black eye? Antari have great power that, in the wrong hands, could be used to destroy (much like happened in TFTOP with Berras) instead of being positive/blessed people the people could "venerate" (pass me the term lmao) as examples on how to handle magic and use it ad an advantage and not a way to hurt others. Examples on how magic should be handled with care and again, not abused. The keyword is always balance. lmao. The whole "from great powers come great responsibilities" bla bla bla. Oh, and this reminds me that we will probably see Nero the bone magician again. He might be related to someone at court. He knew about Tes and her special power so he might've become her friend but maybe he wanted to betray her. I don't know.

-> The link between Kell and Lila and Kell wanting to know her feelings

Yeah. I've wanted this for so long. I remember the first time I read the trilogy I was a little sad that none of them says the three words even if it's clear they feel them (and Kell repeats it more than once). I told myself "it's more realistic this way," and I still think it is. Love is not just expressed with words but also with actions and we see that during those seven years of flashbacks. However... I see how a character who fears abandonment like Kell just wants to hear those words (and I do too lol) even though he KNOWS she loves him. He could've told her first, yes, but I think he is scared that would scare her and she might act impulsively or worse. She may run away. Kell has shit self esteem, he probably believes that Lila would survive without him, so he tries to protect himself by not confessing (even though Lila knows). So he wants her to confess first, maybe. It would be safer if she does, for him, too, to confess. She panicked when he wanted to give her the ring that was just a ring, so that's why he's having cold feet. However, the ring issue was solved. Now Lila is wearing the ring and that is a step ahead in their relationship. And Kell is whole and fixed, so it's another solved "issue". Lila has her own ways to show love, and it's not with words. She finds it difficult to open up and she does have an avoidant personality when it comes to emotions. I've noticed that Lila cries when she can't keep her feelings inside anymore. Crying is her emotional response to near death/death experiences, because death/being unresponsive is a point of no return. No way to express what she feels to those people. She cries when Barron died (her father figure). She cries when Calla died (her mother figure). She cries when she almost dies in ACOL. She cries when Kell's magic is severely damaged and he is in pain. So all of this to say that... there are the grounds to say that after the events of Threads, Kell and Lila are more connected emotionally, thus we are on the way to a confession. No idea if it will happen in Threads #2 (bc I think they'll have to face other things first) but surely in Threads #3.

-> Tes

I think Tes is just like Kosika. They are both promising characters, and Tes is surely good at what she does, but she is still a teenager. We see how she is easily manipulated sometimes (even though, to her credit, she is witty) but she's only 15 so it makes sense.

-> Bex and Calin

This is something I forgot to say in the previous ask. I'm so curious about them, because they might've ended up to Black London! Maybe that's where Tes opened the portal, but she was unaware. I liked their dynamic and they can become the kind of characters who are on the villain's side that decide to come to the heroes' side and still manage to be morally grey. One thing I liked about this book was that there were more female characters than ADSOM, so I'd love to see more dynamics between Bex and Lila. I believe they'd get along well lol

Also - so sorry for the length! But as you can see I love talking about this so you can send more questions if you want :)

[blackbutler-readerinsertsandjunk]

Hi hope you are doing well! Could I request a fluff scenario with Snake and a s/o that love baking (either s/o was a cook at the circus or is a maid at the manor that help in the kitchen). Also recently in CH196 Snake mention lemon cake and lemon tarts.

-mosscrow

aaaaa I'm doing ok! I hope you're doing well too!

sweet boy has a sweet tooth, we're not surprised <3

“Mmh… how much longer…? Asks Wilde…”

“Haha… come now, ‘Wilde’.” (Name) gives a gentle poke to the tip of SNAKE’s nose. “We just put them in the oven. Besides, you do remember that Sebastian tasked me with making lemon tarts for Master Ciel’s tea, don’t you? I have to make sure they get to the garden unscathed. If I have to gently smack your hands away, I will,” she teases.

Wilde, draped around Snake’s shoulders, gives a long-suffering hiss. “‘He don’t need the whole damn batch.’ (Name), Wilde has a point… we’ve made several.”

Obviously he’s not adjusted to the earl’s insatiable sweet tooth yet. Still, she can’t deny that there’s a point somewhere in there. “Yes, there are five of them that are baking. One for Master Ciel, a spare just in case something happens to that one, one for the other servants, one that we’re going to take over to Prince Soma and Mister Agni… and one for us. No matter what happens, we aren’t going to get two tarts all to ourselves!”

If she’s not mistaken, she sees Snake’s lips forming into a very small, almost imperceptible pout. “If nothing happens to the spare… we could eat that one, couldn’t we? Asks Wilde.”

“If, yes.” She raises an eyebrow at him, though the smile is still on her face. “But I don’t want one of the snakes ‘accidentally’ taking a bite out of it just so you can call it ruined and get to eat it. Am I clear?”

His eyes flicker to the oven before he gives a tiny huff. “Crystal. ‘Oi, no promises.’”

“Wilde! Snake! Both of you!” She laughs and hurries to wrap her arms around Snake’s waist, in an attempt to distract him. “You’re so silly. Listen, if you promise me you won’t sabotage that spare tart, I’ll let you eat the rest of the filling I have left over. It’s not a whole tart, but surely it’ll do, right?”

Ah! She’s got him. Not only is the offer clearly tempting to him, he’s also blushing from the intimacy of being held so close. “… Mmmmmhhhh…” He’s considering it, certainly. Maybe she just needs to sweeten the deal.

(Name) leans forward to give Snake a kiss, keeping her touch delicate. While she knows she can’t make him forget about this entirely, she can absolutely soften him up a bit. He’s not that stubborn.

When she draws away from the kiss, she gives him a smile. “Alright, let me throw in something else. In addition to getting to eat the leftover filling, I’ll also bake you a lemon cake the next time Master Ciel is out for the evening. Come, think about it. All I expect is that you don’t do anything untoward to my spare tart.”

She’s sure the kiss made him see stars. He’s got that dreamy, overwhelmed look on his face, plus a light dusting of pink still on his cheeks. With any luck, that means he’s been persuaded enough to agree to her perfectly reasonable terms.

“Lemon cake,” he murmurs at last, a repetition of what she said. Likely just to confirm that he’s understanding the arrangement correctly. “… With lemon buttercream and blueberries and mint leaves on top?” Then, his blush returns with a vengeance. “Wilde wants me to make sure.”

She can’t help but laugh. What else is she supposed to do? “Of course with lemon buttercream and blueberries and mint leaves on top! What am I, a savage?” She gives him another kiss, which he relaxes into a little more readily than the first. He’s so much calmer around her than he was when he first got here.

Upon parting, she sighs against his lips. “Good boy. Now, we’ve got a bit before those tarts are ready to come out. Would you be so kind as to help me finish slicing the almonds for the topping?”

His willingness to speak has died down (now that he’s got what he wants), but that isn’t a bad thing. It’s part of his charm ― that he gives her a sweet, simple nod, steps over to the counter, and takes the knife.

Of course, she comes up behind him to wrap around and guide his hands. Though he seems to have had some experience cooking, with more delicate things, she wants to make sure he doesn’t hurt himself. And he doesn’t seem to mind her being pressed up against his back like that, despite that he starts blushing again.

She’s careful in helping him start to cut, and soon enough, the kitchen starts to smell even more wonderful as the tarts continue to bake.

(… She doesn’t think she’ll ever get over the way that sometimes, his tongue periodically pokes out of his mouth for a second to help him get a better sense of a scent. He’s adorable, and all hers.)

[usopp-writes]

I got soooo tempted to request another one, like Lale! So please, lemme entry another! Your work is amazing Didi! And oh, and if you have many requests, please do them before me since this is my second time <3

For: Sanjiiiii~

Your/muse name: Going by nickname i

Age: still only 19 hahah-

Do you like to cuddle?: YESSSS

Can we make-out?: Obviously! Wait- I mean sure!

A night in or dinner out?: Both, but honestly.... right now I am feeling like a night in more than anything!

Ice cream or chocolate covered strawberries?: Still in a ice cream mood because it´s sooo warm.

Would you/your muse cook for me?: I would be willing to try and cook something but I don´t know really... What if he doesn´t like my food because he´s such and amazing cook himself...? self doubt hits hard!

Would you/your muse let me cook for you/them?: Absolutely! Would looove to try some of those cookings out!

What makes you a good date?: Hmm, lemme think what to write here again since I don´t wanna repeat myself 100%.

Well I am a good listener, I love to have conversations (silly and serious) and looks doesn´t matter to me that much, I want to get to know the person I am on a date with! Aaaand the dream date would still include a kiss and some hand holding etc. and of course lots of chatting and spending time! Oh, oh, and I am very "going" person, for example, if hypothetically my date would suggest something like "lets jump into the lake and swim with our clothes on" I would totally be in! So I think in other words, I would be spontaneous? :0

Date application

Sanji found your appliction when he grabbed his notebook in which he wrote hisown recipes or notes about the crew's reaction to certain meals. Most notes were about how Nami and Robin liked his food, his drinks and the snacks he brought them. A few notes about the others.

Sitting down on a chair, he unfolded the paper and recognized your handwriting. Puffing on his cigarette, he read it. He was surprised, he hadn't expected this at all, but it was a really cute way to ask someone on a date. And detailed too.

A chuckle left his lips, as he placed the paper down. It was the first time someone had taken their time to actually ask him out and laid out what they liked and could offer. Not a bad way, because it also allowed him to come up with where to go on dates or what to do.

Pondering over what to do, he finished his cigarette and went to stand at the sink. Dating as a pirate always came with a lot of risk and it wasn'tlike this crew would ever avoid trouble or fights, though so far they'd come out on top. However, could he be the man their captain needed, if he was to date someone?

That was a question he couldn't answer. Maybe ... Yes that probably was the only solution. A heay sigh left him, before he left the kitchen to find you and to his luck, you were alone. Taking a deep breath, he smiled brightly, as he walked over to you.

"i." He came to sit next to you. "I read your application and I'm very flattered. While I love the idea of dating someone, now is not the time. I can't do it. Not before Luffy has become the King of Pirates. I have to be at my best for him. You understand, right?" Sanji owed Luffy his life and everything. He couldn't allowed himself to get further distracted and put Luffy's dream at risk. Not after all the stupid boy had done for him.

"I can't promise you anything, but I will hold it in my heart until then. Thank you."

[twentyfivemiceinatrenchcoat]

ari should i watch the apothecary diaries? i've been kinda interested in it for a while + you keep hyping it up... today i woke up with the opening playing in my head

i agree with what you said about jinshi, his behavior reminds me a little of cult leader geto's antics... he's so pathetic... (my all time most favorite genre of men after motherly). he's also so so beautiful and the lining of his outer thing (sorry i don't know what it's called... fake chinese moment) is really similar to the sash on geto's gojo kesa... which i think is sooooo beautiful as well

n my friend said i'm realllllyy similar to maomao so this will probably be a self-indulgent watch for me... read her backstory and it's making me so sad but she comes across as so strong... i'm already so attached to her it's not even funny. also i didn't know your whole family was into anime!! that's so wholesome and cute..

about the kenny plushes, they don't sell very well (especially in the jp fandom!) so you can get them for sooo cheap. you can use a proxy if you really want to! i use sendico and the shipping isn't bad! i know they ship to a lot of smaller european countries too ^ ^

i can NOT believe they got lost at sea. omfg i am fuming for you that is so very sad. we should track down the ship. that lost it. it's negligence.

are you talking about these? https://jp.mercari.com/item/m92282289388 i actually have the cat plush one that's fairly similar! https://jp.mercari.com/item/m20944297256 N ABOUT THE MERCH I JUST.......... ORDERED A LOOK UP.... finally found geto's for a reasonable price :( now i just have to wait for golden week to end for it to shipp,.w;...... AND THIS ONE https://jp.mercari.com/item/m89522427367 where he looks so hot that i'm literally about to die

thank you so much for listening to my rambles!! :D <3 🌖🌖

🌖 ANONNNNNNNN

YOU SHOULDDDD YOU SHOULD!!!!!!! it’s super duper duper good!!!!!!!!!!!! it’s so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!! the plot is amazing and the animation is gorgeous and the characters are so so charming…. JINSHI IS LITERALLY CULT LEADER GETO just. less evil. and more flirty. he’s kinda like…. if you mixed cult leader geto and teen toru in one big bowl. BUT HE’S GENUINELY VERY SIMILAR TO HOW I PICTURE CULT!GETO BEING W A CRUSH…. like….. in an au where there aren’t any complications and you’re on his side. i think he’s soooo silly and bratty and pouty. but he wants you to lean on him so badly.

he makes me insane btw motherly/pathetic men are the actual standard ANYWAYYY MAOMAO. i adore her!!!!! just as much as jinshi!!!!!! 🥺 AND WE’RE TWINNING SO HARD 🌖 ANONNNNN i see myself as super similar to her too 😭😭 just. the way she acts…. but she rlly is so lovely and funny and soso strong!!!! she’s a wonderful character……

AND YES KINDA PHDKDJ … honestly it’s mostly just. me and my two older brothers. but my mom likes manga!!! i think she’s still caught up on detective conan to this day…. the amount of chapters are frankly really silly i can’t believe it’s still ongoing 💀 BUTTT i do force my older sis to watch anime w me sometimes :3 yesterday i made her binge dungeon meshi w me!!! i’m still not nearly finished w it (and all the episodes aren’t out yet!!) but i recommend it SO strongly it’s so feel-good but also so???? idk. it’s special. and i adore laios like nothing else…. mr puppydog…….

BUT WAHHHHHH :((((((( kenny being neglected…. sniffle……… i tried using that site but it does Not work for me lmao it won’t let me register my credit card :’3 and i’m worried since i can only write my name and adress using english letters…… the kenny stuff rlly was so cheap grrr i’m mad. but oh well!!!

AND YES EXACTLY IT’S THOSE CATS!!!! 🥺🥺 wahhhhh i need the goken set so BADLY just look at them…. the meowmeows ever…….

all the merch you linked…. GRRRRR you are tempting me so hard rn 😭😭 THAT ONE OFFICIAL GETO ART. need him so bad. he looks soooooo fucking good it should be illegal…… i’m also sooooo jealous you found geto’s look up!!!!! i need to hunt him down!!!!!!!!!!!! but i can’t spend any more money on merch this month…. sobs…….. I’M ALWAYS VERY HAPPY TO HEAR ABT YOUR MERCH ESCAPADES THOUGHHH i hope your sugus reach you safely!!!!! pls send pics once he comes home plspls 🥺🥺🥺

[ladysenaysays]

✎ Journal || 02.16.24

Lonely, ain't it? Yes, but my lonely is mine. Now your lonely is somebody else's. Made by somebody else and handed to you. Ain't that something? A secondhand lonely.

Toni Morrison, Sula

Was it always so big?

If the size of the box in the back of our guest room closet wasn't enough on its own to be intimidating, I knew its contents were. I knew that it was taped and tucked neatly away in a space Sam and I hardly touched in our converted firehouse home, forgotten and buried as our lives expanded in all of the ways we planned. As we shifted, moving all of us and adding more to us, that big box followed, nestling in the same way we did.

Cozy, only rustling when we did. Comfortable, only transplanting when we did. Stuck, only budging when we did.

I've weaved through nearly a decade with Sam, none of us making it into the box. And as we inch toward that full 10 years in April, I know why. He's always made sense of me, always been able to smooth out friction, and tempt me to be someone who doesn't hide from him, doesn't need to, and couldn't if she wanted to. He'll be 34 in a few days and we've been celebrating him all month--because February is his month, after all. My young thing grew up on me. I sprouted right alongside him, and now I'm waltzing my way to 35, having finally housed so much of what I thought I'd never find a home for.

Was it always so heavy?

If the box had been harder to get at, I probably would have given up, waited for the next move to let Sam lug it to a new home. But it eased out of the closet without a fight, parted its flaps at the suggestion of a sharp pair of scissors, spreading in a deep exhale to sigh over a decade of my life into the room.

Zuri said I should open it. She saw me once a week for an hour for so many months I lost count. Listened, took notes. She saw me on the heels of an emergency room visit, the cause of which was pegged as "exhaustion", earning me a place among all those late 90s/early aughts starlets whose lives I thumbed through worlds away from the concrete constructed housing projects in Philly I called home. She saw me within a week after a long search for a black feminine mental health professional that actually did feel...exhausting. She saw me, unpacking in that painfully slow way I'd always been accustomed to.

Cortisol plateau. Burn out. Fatigue. Irritability. Horrible sleep. Blood pressure spike knocking my noggin with a headache so bad I could barely stand.

Took me weeks to calm, to land on real therapy (not using Sylvia and Sam to wade through all my problems) as an alternative treatment to the listlessness I tried to treat with quitting my day job and immersing fully into a schedule of dominatrix work that was...a bit much. But she saw me, waited me out once we'd started, sat dutifully through a slow mental striptease that satisfied nobody.

She still sees me every other month--virtual now since Sam and I left San Fran for the farmhouse not far from Houston. There's so much more to us than I ever imagined there would be. We've spread out and spawned, got land and a little one, but stayed so close I can tell when he's hungry just by looking at him. And I swear that that little green-eyed, curly-topped version of him and me running around makes the same faces when it's time to eat. I see them, chasing chickens and playing in paint, one of them designing my tattoos and both of them fascinated by each one, loud and happy and silly and sweet. My adventurers. My big one and my little one getting all the best parts of me I never needed to pack away.

Was it always so full?

If I didn't know myself, I'd be surprised that the box was in order, arranged from the newest things I'd stashed all the way down to the oldest. Scribbled moments, most dated to confirm their place in my timeline, others bearing names that told me exactly where they belonged.

Took Zuri and I months to get to the box. When I finally mentioned writing as a former outlet and let slip the existence of my written stored memories, I could practically hear the click in her mind, something locking firmly into gear and ensuring that we would go as far down that road as we could.

Jordan was at the top. Didn't give her a second thought after I moved out of our shared complex and ended a friend/client relationship that shouldn't have ever started, but she was represented in the notes I took after my meetings with her; a few filled pages of desires unfulfilled. I had every intention of fulfilling them, too--wanted to mold myself into both friend and fantasy and be whatever she wanted.

Owen was underneath. Our old schedule--what tools he wanted and on which days, cards he'd sent--most of them hand-drawn, wishing me happy holidays and the like. As of his last update, he was lawyering in LA and he'd found someone local to satisfy that part of him that needed to be disciplined. We drifted after I left the Haight, after he brought me out of retirement post San Fran relocation, after a lengthy goodbye session that included our usual everything but the one thing I never gave any of my clients. He got close. I touched him, trespassed over the line that was meant to keep our relationship professional because he wanted me to and I wanted him to have what he wanted.

Ian was all throughout. I wrote about him most of all, several silly poems and stories about the way my hands would sweat when we clung to one another on the walks home from middle school, about the first kiss we shared in a coatroom, about lying on my back for him for thirty seconds of something we were both too young to understand or appreciate but would get plenty of practice perfecting with each other over the years. I don't know if he still exists. I recognize that thought as a luxury. He wanted me first and seemingly most of all, wanted me as Senay and even more as his very own Vixen once I started dabbling in domme work. He picked outfits for her, helped her practice her swings, remained just enough of an asshole to turn that sweet, soft girl into something dangerous. I wanted to be each edge of his entire universe because for so long I believed that's what he wanted of me.

Was it always mine?

If I had to disturb the box--and I absolutely had to once it was locked in with Zuri--I had to settle up with everything inside and still had to live outside of it while I worked my way through. So I lined up what I could, what I felt like I needed: long talks with Sean without any of the other 8 kids around, a few lines to Stacy to let her know I'm breathing, blocking Ian in every way imaginable, and continuing that months-long search for a way ahead and out of my own.

My mother was further down and everywhere I looked. Mother's day poems, birthday cards, stories that all put my need for her attention on full display. Her letters and the responses I never sent are near the top, angry first drafts that prove that I didn't always understand her addiction as a disease, all detached from the sobriety chips she sends each time she gets a new one. First, the chips came every couple of months, then each year. Last one came at the seven-year mark--she sent her six-year chip when she received her seventh right before we moved. I started writing her back after the second year, months after I started seeing Zuri. Nothing lengthy and we never call or text--just enough to know the other is alive. No money, no gifts. I sent her my address in Texas and let her know that she's a grandmother now. I'm waiting on that seven-year chip. I want her to be good for herself in the way she never could be for me.

My dad was lowest of all. A letter from 6-year-old Senay anchoring the paper pile, an apology for not being able to attend his wedding, like that was her fault and not the result of the machinations of a woman helplessly steered by an addiction. In the box, I spent time asking why Sean left, contemplating what I needed to fix to bring him back, and imagining my life if he returned. I could see the point where I found out that I'd basically written the new version of him into existence, when I saw just how good of a father he could be to Imani and Jaycen and the rest. My jealously is all over those pages, teen angst that I channeled into self-loathing sonnets. Sean is good. Always has been. And when I think about my munchkins or the beautiful being I popped out who he is the epitome of a doting grandfather to, I am so glad that he is.

I spent too much of my life twisting into everything I thought Stacy and Sean wanted me to be. And I never got it right in a way that would give me back the family I longed for. So I packed. Jordan, Owen, Ian, Stacy, and Sean. All of them, all packed up. Waiting. Bound tight and staying exactly where I put them.

I had to talk about boundaries with Zuri. We stumbled there somehow when I tripped my way through the story of how I began my life as Mistress. Tamara and Arthur sat between Ian and Owen. They were a very detailed account of the rush I felt after ordering Arthur around that first time and many follow-up chronicles all related to the job I fell into (and in love with) because the word no always eluded me.

I couldn't pinpoint too many boundaries I'd set--with anyone. There were so few things I asked for, required, expected, and actually held fast to upholding. I took what I got--polished it up, dressed it, made it mine, then penned my experiences so they didn't have to live in my head.

Thought I got it all out of me, shed it once and for all. But there it all sat, written but never digested, never aligned up with the life I ended up living outside of that box.

Was it always with me?

If I was in a rush, I wouldn't have read a thing in the box. But slowing down and eventually ceasing domme work after my emergency room visit left me with plenty of time to peruse. I read deeply, hours at a time, the highlights of which I took back to Zuri, laying out for her all of the things that nicked at my brain the most.

Over time, we settled on a few:

Sean and Stacy colliding the way they did. Sean leaving the scene and never stopping to survey the damage and Stacy too preoccupied to realize just how banged up I was. All the roadblocks I've hit in trying to be my whole self instead of straddling between wholesome community work and a deep, fulfilling enjoyment of physical pleasure. Something in me that only saw my purpose as serving others. I'm happiest when I'm helping, even if the help depletes me because if I'm useful, I won't be alone and feel that ache of a loneliness settled so deeply it sometimes felt tangible.

I ended up online at Zuri's suggestion, when I could feel the loneliness breathing in me whenever Sam wasn't around. I found forums first, eventually working my way toward avidly followed profiles, channels, and then a podcast where all those pieces I used to hide could get laid out in segments I research, plan, and write. The podcast started as just another way to climb out of the box but grew into a community I cultivated when I quickly realized there were so many folks in the world just like me in search of a place to put all those things they packed away. We talk relationships, and sex, and love, and trauma, and mistakes, and anything else we pull out of our boxes. Now the subscribers and followers are loyal and engaged and in the tens of thousands and I don't plan to part with any of my life online, despite the ocean of opinions breathed into microphones these days. My space is still there, bound or unbound as I want it to be.

Cozy, a place I can put all of me. Comfortable, a world with borders I've designed. Stuck, a part of me that I'll never put away again.

[bantinglikewilliam]

Banting dinner day 2!

Hey ho, let's go. This little tiny boxed wine is exactly three glasses of cabernet, La Croix, mediocre Starkist tuna salad and crackers, gyro meat, and mangos.

There's vegetables in tuna salad, right? That counts as a vegetable if ketchup does (does it still?)

No urgent errands to run this afternoon that can't wait 3 hours so yes, it's 3:30pm, and I'm nervous but gonna drink three glasses of wine with dinner for science.

Did you ever notice that Aldi tuna salad is 100x better than the name brand? But I own it, and it must have some nutrients in it, even if it is filled with polyunsaturated fat (boo, if you're not sure why this is a bad thing, it's because the more unsaturated a fat is, the more free radicals it forms in your body. Free radicals are why people say you need to eat antioxidants. It's why more and more processed food manufacturers are switching to "high oleic" aka more saturated varieties of oils...but that doesn't fix the root issue. Even palm oil, which is very saturated and stable, does this. But that's a discussion for another day!). Still, I'm hungry, and it tastes better than I remember, just has a bitter aftertaste.

This wine is definitely more acidic than Coppola's Claret but it does pair well with the gyro meat.

This is not the Indian mango I was expecting. It has a weird aftertaste, like melons and cucumbers do, it's too fibrous, and it makes my mouth itch a little. I have what is known as an "oral pollen allergy" which is another reason I almost never eat fresh fruits and veg. My body basically is telling me "You don't need to eat these things to be healthy." Or at least cook them first. Hard pass. I can always freeze it and then try baking it later.

I must look up which fruits and veg were widely available during different seasons in Banting era England. I'm tempted to fry bananas or plantains and consume that as my fruit, or I can eat baby food, but I might have to stick to things like baked apples because I know most fruits were less sweet and smaller 161 years ago and they definitely couldn't waltz into Whole Foods and get watermelon in January. Someone call a historian! I want my diet to be as historically accurate as possible.

Also, I'm curious now: I'm happy to not drink during the middle of the day, it does feel a bit like a hassle, but are there any cultures left in the world where it is still culturally acceptable to drink like Mad Men and have a three martini lunch? I'm not endorsing it, I will not be drinking before or during working hours even if I work from home, but I'm just curious. There must be, right? My best guess would be somewhere in Eastern Europe, although I'd find it hard to believe if Russians didn't at least proclaim to deem that unacceptable these days.

Although one time during the pandemic this guy from a legit healthcare company called me drunk as hell to see if I would take a survey about my insurance. He pronounced the "Dr." in my address as "Doctor" dead serious and stood by it without apology. He only mildly slurred but did have enough lag time and silly mistakes and even a giggle or two which informed me he was almost certainly not dyslexic or something similar but crunk. I looked up his employer for remote jobs because I figured it would be a sweet gig if he hadn't been fired yet but sadly they required cross country travel for training which wasn't feasible at the time.

Update: Ugh, this tuna salad sucks, I can't finish it. Trying to finish gyro meat, it's fine but technically a few days past expiration, but it's hard to just eat a pile of meat, bruh, even when it's moist and spiced so nice.

And it's almost as hard to drink this much wine, but at least it goes down without chewing. I gotta re-read his pamphlet, it's been a few years, but I don't remember him drinking much water? I could not drink this much wine without water. Oof. It's heavy.

Did my most valiant but could not choke down the last slice of gyro meat. Back in the fridge it goes.

[meganuzlockediary]

FireRed Gym 1!

October 5th

Its begun! Oh boy! Day 1 has already started eventfully!

I have chosen to start with Fire red and Leaf green as they are Gen 3 allowing me to avoid the janky experience of the early games while still allowing me to start in Kanto. There are 3 kanto games that I'll be using but of course Kanto pokemon are present in almost every game, so I want to ensure I don't use too many.

Anyway I started by naming my character Darius! A good strong name! He's gonna need it. As its the first pokemon of the run I HAVE to choose pokemon number 1, Bulbasaur!

He's named Green after the OG game (also I like naming my pokemon after colours). He has a naive nature so +speed - spdef. We'll see if it helps!

I also chose him to make these earlier games easier. With Brock and Misty's gym I want a good counter and to avoid using many other pokemon. Except I am very silly, as you will see.

After getting pokeballs and a pokedex I managed to get a pidgey on route 1! I named him Feather. Eager to catch more, I took him to route 2 and found a rattata. Unfortunately due to an unlucky crit from feather, Rattata fainted. Probably a good thing as I may use him in leaf green. I also went then to viridian forest for the encounter there and Feather helped me catch the most evil weedle ever named Pins. Pins poisoned my Pidgey! I had no antidote. Terrified I ran back to a pokecentre to try and save him. But the dreaded sign appeared. Pidgey has fainted due to poison!

An early loss which now means I cannot use pidgey again for any game!

Fortunately after a lot of grinding a close call from a trainers level 9 weedle. I evolved Pins into a kakuna and took my level 10 bulbasaur to the Pewter City Gym.

Needless to say it was a slaughter. Bulbasaur destroyed the gym earning me my first badge of the run.

Now, I am wondering whether to start leaf green too and complete them together to stop them being too repetitive or do I just continue? I'm tempted to do both for the stategic encounter control that would give me. E.g. if I move ahead to one route and catch an oddish in one game can I therefore guarantee an abra in another.

I'll decide soon and see!

Current party: bulbasaur lv12, kakuna lv8

Deaths: 1, RIP Feather

Total Mons caught: 3

Lessons learned: Always carry an antidote!