#i still want to but haven't quite got the groove back

[theloveinc]

caitie do u want a niche perfume rec? im honestly rlly bored, just tell me what kind of scents you like and i’ll look for one

cog, you are so kind to offer!! i'd love recs, tho i don't know much about perfume so idk how helpful i'll be in terms of telling u what i like (and ofc, no worries at all if u change ur mind <3)

some perfumes i like in general, tho........ LOVE anything by sol de janiero (i collect their scents, killing myself for not managing to get sea&sol and tropical nights) + rituals... (the one i have has been retired sadly)... also replica? i don't have any but my friend does and every time i come over i'm smelling them ALL lol, i'll have to ask which ones. she also has fat electrician by etat libre d'orange, which is for men but smells SO good.

this is super embarrassing too, but moschino pink fresh + saint by kvd i LOVE... and less embarassing uhhh clementine california by atelier cologne, which is really beachy. my mom ofc got me daisy by marc jacobs when i was in highschool too jdsfajkdf.

but other than that idk really know abt scents, i apologize!! ig i'd say spicy vanilla, salty smells tend to be my range. i'm really trying to get better at perfumes bc i wanna wear more of them in the future, but so far i haven't done much to reach that goal.

which is just to say i appreciate u! and honestly would love to hear about your preferences too if picking for me is too much<333 thank u so much for stopping by anyway🫶🏻🥳

[crescencestudio]

๋࣭⭑ Devlog #41 | 5.28.24 ๋࣭⭑

It's hot girl (/gender neutral) summer season

HAPPY MAY!!

Hope you're all doing well <3 We're already getting into summer, which is a little crazy to me. The year is flying by! Before I get into what we actually did this month, it wouldn't be a May devlog without our annual Mermay celebration!

Look at those locks. His Ariel/Rapunzel era fr

Since I already had updated Mermay pieces for the Alaris LIs, I decided to do one for our beloved Van this year ^^ Hope you all like it!

For writing this month, I spent a lot of it catching up on Etza edits. Being totally transparent, I wasn't Completely Happy with their route when their draft was finished. But now that I've started the editing process with Wudgey, I'm really excited to see how their route is shaping up!!! We've been fleshing a lot of little interactions out with their route, and I can already see Etza's character really starting to shine with these edits ^^

I've also been chipping away at Kuna'a's route! While it's nowhere near finished, I'm hopeful that this upcoming month will be the month of Kuna'a now that I don't have a bunch of releases I'm trying to balance. His route is also one of the ones whose outline is more fleshed out (Druk and Etza I would say were the least fleshed out, which might be why they also took a bit longer). So I'd love to see Kuna'a's first draft complete/almost complete by the next devlog!

This month, I had to dust off my art skills tbh LMFAOIJSDF. It's been.... a WHILE since I've made CGs since I've been in the writing and coding dungeon for so long. So most of this month's art updates are me getting tilted from redrawing an ugly sketch over and over.

I DID manage to get the Van Mermay piece out. And I also was able to sketch out Kayn's Tragic End CG; that leaves only one CG that has to be sketched out! Currently, six of their CGs are finished, two need to be rendered, and one needs to be drawn still.

And since Kayn's CGs are mostly done, I've started drawing Fenir's. I was actually able to finish one because I basically Locked In when I made it, so here is a sneak peek!

Kisses his little pink nose

You might notice there's not toooo many updates on this month's devlog. The reason for that is because this month, I spent a lot of it recovering both mentally and physically. April shenanigans and those back-to-back releases took a lot out of me, and after going full speed basically since this year started, I learned I REALLY needed a break. That coupled with the concussion I got made it so that most of this month was focused on recovering and then getting back into the groove of things.

Another thing I tried to focus on this month was finding a balance in my workflow. Going into this month, I felt like I was on the verge of a mental breakdown almost every day, in large part because I have a lot of big things I'm trying to accomplish this year. Between finishing my dissertation, Alaris, and a personal big event that I have to plan, I have a lot on my plate this year, and it's made it easy to get overwhelmed as the months pass by. So I wanted to find a balance between all three that didn't make me feel like I was also falling into insanity. After talking to beloved Wudgey of @herotome fame, I've started adopting a schedule that gives me enough structure and flexibility to feel like I'm making progress without going crazy and getting lost in the sauce.

While it's still early in the process, I'm really happy with the balance I've hit, and I'm feeling much more like myself now compared to a month ago!

I caught up on quite a few things in my backlog this month, which made me happy ^^ I always like to learn from and support other devs, so finally being able to return to that helped with the recovery process <3

I don't have any actual fanart pieces, but there are a couple of games I'd like to highlight!

First of all, of course I must talk about our hot girl (/gender neutral) summer cross-promo. If you haven't checked out these games, I can't recommend them enough!!

Links to each game can be found on the Alaris Game page under the magic and mystery otome section!

Specifically, Save the Villainess, The Good People, and Thorn for the Villain are amazing games if you're into thriller/political games layered with mystery

The Silent Kingdom (which I played recently and is AMAZING) and Dual Chroma (Otojam 2023 ALLY) have added mechanics of RPG for exciting action-adventure fantasy stories

Lost in Limbo, Obscura, and Snow White Ashes are BEAUTIFUL dark fantasy games. I've played all three of these and they have some of the most beautiful writing and visuals... BIG FAN OF ALL OF THEM.

Mask Beyond Lies and Sigh of the Abyss have that epic fantasy adventure appeal to them, in a way that I think is similar to Alaris! And Pearlglow Cafe (another Otojam 2023 ALLY) is a very lighthearted and charming game for those of you who like the comfy vibe that most of my stories have!!

Some other games that I played are Favor (@favorvn) by beloved @concreteparasite which is SOOOOO stylish. If you've played Binary Star Hero by Connie, you can expect that same stylish, dark, sultry vibe from Favor. If you haven't checked out either of those games by Connie, I can't recommend them enough, especially if you like yanderes. There is so much aesthetic and atmosphere to them!

I also played Where Winter Crows Go by @prikarin who is a VERY talented developer (and one I'm sure many are familiar with). I had a lot of fun romancing Crowe and both the MC and him have such strong personalities, it was so fun seeing their dynamic!!!! The CGs were also made by anta, who is the dev behind Thorn for the Villain, and they're BEAUTIFULLLLL. Each one has so much style and rly has a professional look to them. Can't recommend enough if you haven't played already ((heads up that it is another yandere game for those who can't do yandere!))

Okay I've yapped enough. If you've made it this far, you are god's strongest soldier LFMASLDIFJ. See you all next month with hopefully some exciting progress!

[hufflepuff-loverofslytherinboys]

Booty call pairing: basketball player!Lucas Scott x cheerleader!reader warnings: really none that I think off

notes: this is my very first writing and I am very new to writing so I am sorry!! I don't think there's any grammar mistakes or anything

word count: some amount of words

On this special night in tree hill, Lucas had just joined the basketball team and was playing his first game. He got in his head and felt as though he did terribly. He beat himself up about it and sat in the boy's locker room almost two full hours after the game. That is, until you walked in to check on the sad boy.

“Hey, Lucas.” You say, slowly walking from the door closer to where he is sitting on a bench, still in his basketball uniform and shoes with his head in his hands. He startles at the sound of your voice, looking up to see your beautiful self.

“Hi,” he musters out, putting his face back in his hands. “Who are you?”

“Y/n, you probably don't really know me, I'm a cheerleader. I saw you playing tonight and I thought you'd need some company after the game.” You sit next to him and place a hand on his back.

“Nice to meet you, y/n,” he says, lifting his head up to look at you. “But I'd prefer to be alone.”

“Right. But I just wanted to tell you, I know you think you were awful tonight just because you didn't make a single basket,” that sentence alone elicits a groan from the boy. “But I know that you can make baskets, you just haven't gotten the groove of the new team, new court, and new attire.” You touch his jersey. He looks up at you with his deep, blue eyes and nods his head.

“Thanks, y/n.”

“You're welcome, Lucas. I'll see you around okay?”

“Okay.”

The following week, the ravens won against the pirates at a home game. This time, Lucas scored 21 points.

You meet Lucas in the locker room like you did last week to congratulate him.

“Hey, Scott!” you say, running up to him.

“Hey, y/n! I did good this time!” He said, smiling at you.

“I know, I believed you could do it!” You said hugging him. He smelled of sweat-off cologne, but you didn't mind it.

“Thanks.” He says as he pulls away from the hug and looks deeply into your eyes. You have to admit, you sort of have a bit of a crush on Lucas, but there's no way he'd feel the same, right? Wrong. Because this handsome boy in front of you right now is leaning in to kiss you and you won't let him will you? Wrong, again!

His lips are soft and tenderly kiss yours. He pulled away after a couple seconds and stared at you, waiting for an answer as to if that was okay or not. But instead of giving a good response the poor boy wanted, you pulled a Rory Gilmore from Gilmore girls and said…

“Thanks.”

And you were off like the Flash, running straight to your house, not even waiting for Lucas to come give you a ride. You were too embarrassed to even face your family, running straight to your room and closing the door. That night, you were expecting texts from Lucas saying “What was that?” or “Hey, you okay?” But no, there was nothing. You felt awful.

The next day at school, you looked for Lucas everywhere but couldn't find him. Like he was using secret passage ways to get to classes. After school was over you waited by Lucas's car for your annual ride home together, but he didn't come. Like he knew you were there and he was avoiding you. Oh God, was he avoiding you?

You went inside looking for him on the basketball court and there he was. He was just shooting some practice free throws. You debated on how to approach him, but one way popped into your mind.

“You know, you're a really great kisser.” You said walking towards him.

“I am?” He responds, turning towards you and setting his ball down on the ball rack.

“Yes, quite a bit. And I'm sorry about how I reacted the other day.”

“Hey, hey, don't be. I get it, you were nervous. Was it your first kiss?” Lucas questions stepping closer to you. You nod, getting butterflies at his movements towards you. “I see, maybe we could have a bit of a do over for your ‘first kiss’. And maybe this time, I'll say thanks.” He chuckles a bit as you playfully hit his arm. You guys lean in and kiss for a second time, this time being a little bit more passionate.

Okay, you guys have been kissing for quite some time now. One minute, two minutes, three minutes!! Three minutes go by, and you're still kissing! Luckily, you slightly pull away to get some air. But Lucas doesn't stop there.

“Lucas?” You breathily question as he kisses and sucks on your neck. He mumbles a little something against your skin before pulling away and looking into your eyes.

“You're beautiful, y/n. And I really, really like you after hanging out with you for the past couple of weeks. Would you be my girlfriend..?”

“Yes, Lucas.” He picked you up and spun you around like in those cheesy romance movies. After he set you down he kissed you one final time before he took you home.

I'm so sorry guys, this was so bad!!!! It was my first one I'm sorry!!

[chimkin-samich]

Hi!

I have had a block for both writing and drawing for several years. I look at your works with longing in my eyes and think how wonderful it would be to draw regularly again. I was never particularly talented and had many gaps in learning to draw, but I enjoyed it. Now I don't know how to start drawing or writing. My laptop is full of unfinished stories. I have lots of ideas for drawings, but it's hard for me to get down to work.

Therefore, my question is: Do you have any advice for people who haven't drawn/written for several years and would really like to get back to it, but can't motivate themselves, have no ideas, etc.? Or quite the opposite. They have lots of ideas, but for some reason they can't draw anything?

Greetings and have a nice morning/day/evening/night!

Hello! Sorry it took so long to respond, I wanted to make sure I could respond properly to this so I thought it over a lot, I’m going to put it under a read more cuz it’s gonna get long lol

I (sly) am kinda in the same position as you at least when it comes more to art, writing ive kinda cracked the block but still trying to break through the ice, all the art on our blog is Ferals art, I only complete the line work and shading (but not always) I haven’t drawn any of my own stuff in probably a few years but I’m trying to get back into it cuz I miss it as well, I completely get the whole feeling of looking at Feral’s art and wanting to create my own but finding it so difficult to do

For the art aspect my plan is to start at square 1, start how I first starting drawing, which for me was to look up refs, animals and draw them by sight, just to get back into the groove of trying to bring back that muscle memory, maybe you started by tracing images, you could trace only the rough outlines and then shade and detail them, just something simply and easy, you probably won’t be happy with the results (I know I certainly won’t be with my own) but it’s a start

Look up things that you enjoy, draw your squad, incorrect quotes to do with ocs maybe even draw them out, try and keep it simple, you don’t need to create a masterpiece on the first day back, any attempt is a step forward even if you dislike it, try it out at least once a day everyday, a simple doodle just for fun or to exercise your muscle memory again, the first part is gonna be hard and messy, that’s totally ok! All that matters is the attempt!

For the writing aspect try and keep it simple as well, focus on making short one-shots or even just bullet point dialogues, your old unfinished writing isn’t going anywhere, when you feel comfortable enough to attempt to continue it just go for it!

I had a big gap in my writing periods and sometimes I still go a few months with out touching any of my stories, blocks happen and are normal, something that I try to get back into is read other people’s work, both to see the writing style and to get some inspiration to continue my own works

When I actually get down to actually writing my story I just dump down the story as I think it, I just keep writing even if it looks messy and grammatically incorrect to at least get the story moving and progressing. After I have the rough story down, is when I go back to correct spelling mistakes, add more details/dialogues or events in between to create a much better flow for the story

I usually do this multiple times for each fic I create, usually in between pauses (either due to blanking on ideas or just cuz I wasn’t feeling it) so whenever I reopen my doc, I just reread and add on, then I do it again one or two more times once it’s completed

I struggle a lot with perfectionism when it comes to my art and writing, and unfortunately it’s a big killer for my motivation, especially when I see others that make better works than me. I’ve been slowly unlearning that urge to make everything perfect, by just allowing myself to have messy and rough works, it’s not always going to come out how I want it but at least I got it as close as I could in the moment with my current skill level

I like to tell myself, the more I keep doing it, the more I’ll improve, and I’ll always be able to come back with more ideas and skill to remake this better than my first attempts, just because I did it doesn’t mean I can’t try to do it again

Being easier on yourself does wonders (I know easier said than done unfortunately 😭) but your practically having to relearn skills that have gotten rusty, even if you were doing great before, your gonna have to build back up to that point, it’s just like exercising a muscle ✨

I hope this was able to help! I wish you much luck in your journey back into art and writing!

[venelona-turtle-den]

A bit of a side thing, but, yeah. Me tired. Feel free to disregard this post, I'm just letting some feelings out so my brain stops torturing me.

Honestly, tired is not quite the right word. Its more like I've been too caught up in work and my brain denies me relaxation? Like... ever since I got an idea for the Ghost Future Leo, I've been working on him every day. And by the nature of how I do things, I don't start a new drawing until I finish the last, so, he was all I've worked on. And it comes with the anxiety that 'I haven't posted anything in so long, that's bad, you're not productive'.

And then I finished Ghost Leo to the point where I could post him, and, it, uh... Got complicated? Because, no doubt, it's a BIG project, I worked A TON on him, but it wasn't really, like... a comic. Or a drawing. So I took a break, I promise I did, but then I wanted to get back to posting proper art and all.

Exceeeept I also wanted to keep working on Ghost Leo. Partly because I like working on him, truly, but also... I feel like I owe it to people? Like... I live with the fear that there's not enough to him, that people will get bored in like three days and that will be that, and I owe folks who enjoy spending time with him to expand the features. I want to respond to people posting and talking about him because that's everything I've wanted, to see people's reactions, and I feel like I can't leave anyone hanging, because that was what I asked for in the first place... All those posts and nice asks bring me so much joy, and I want people to know it.

As well as all the asks from people who need help - as a creator, I owe it to them to help them through everything, to fix mistakes and bugs, to answer questions...

And because of that, I feel bad when I try to take a break for more than a day - I have things to answer, and I don't want to answer them inadequately, because I want people to know that I care about every ask.

So, in short... despite me doing art I still feel like I'm not doing enough, despite the recent updates my brain still tells me I need to do more, and I'm afraid of starting on something like a comic because it feels I have too much of other stuff to do and I can't let myself focus my attention on something else for a week or two...

I know its all baloney, and that I deserve to rest, that I can freaking sit down and play Star Rail for three days and people won't hate me for it, but... that's not what my brain thinks and signals to my body. Silly me.

Thank you for reading this to those who did, I wrote this thing to just say... I hope my brain is actively lying to me, and people won't riot if I take a bit of time getting to answer the asks or posting more art. I promise I read everything, I just need to get back into a groove of things, especially since May and June are months that get busy with the school work on top of everything. I hope that's understandable 💖

[delusional-dinosaurr]

Nice Sleepover? Part 2 (Alessia Russo x Reader)

It's time, you've all been asking for it. So here it is!

I present to you, Nice Sleepover Part 2! Sorry I've been super busy! Whilst I take forever, be sure to check out my other one shots on my masterlist HERE

Oh and Part One to this fic is HERE

(Note: In this story the Euros isn't during this year)

It's been 3 months since you got loaned to City. You and Alessia have been messaging each-other ever since the night you both reconnected. You haven't had a lot of time to take her out for dates, you only managed to take her out for the one official date since you had your night together. You took her out to an arcade and made it your mission to win her something. You not only surprised her but you surprised yourself by winning her 4 toys from the claw machines! You still hung out on nights where you could but with your conflicting schedules it was still difficult.

You received a call from Jonatan to recall you back to Barca for the final match of the season as Alexia had gotten injured. It was very last minute but unfortunately your contract stated that you could be recalled at anytime with no notice. You were booked on a plane to leave 6 hours later so you panic messaged everyone letting them know your loan spell was up. Alessia was in an absolute state at the news, just when she thought you guys were close again, you'd already been snatched away from her. She spent that evening crying on Ella whilst you were flying out to Barcelona. Your new/former housemates were also absolutely gutted at the news of your departure. Your words to them as you left them at the airport were "I'll be back before you know it, I promise” and Lauren trusted you on this, you've never broke a promise.

━━━━━

You arrive at the airport in Barcelona with an injured Alexia on her crutches and a very hyper Mapi helping her.

“Y/N we missed you so much!” Mapi gives you a massive hug and squeezes you to the point you feel as if you can’t breathe. Alexia gives you a gentle hug but leans on you a little for support.

“ACL huh?” You sigh and give Alexia a sad smile, she doesn’t quite meet your eyes when she confirms it’s her ACL. You grab her hand and give it a gentle squeeze.

“You’ve got this, if anyone can bounce back from an ACL injury it’s Alexia fucking Putellas!” You say as you all slowly leave the airport and go to Mapi’s car.

━━━━━

Match day comes around, and you’ve had a week or so to get back into the Barcelona groove. Your contract is up with Barcelona in a month, and you’ve already had your contract agreement settled for the future, you’ve just gotta wait for the media team to officially announce it at the end of the season.

You didn’t wanna say to the team about how you missed your teammates in Manchester as you were worried they’d be offended. You always felt somewhat dismissed in Barcelona, a bench warmer and a super-sub. You were shocked to hear you were called back in the first place as they surely would’ve wanted to sign someone else on, but you also felt excited to be back at the same time, you’ve missed Barcelona with your team.

You’ve been constantly calling and messaging Alessia since the day you left and you already can feel that you miss her. You regret not asking her to be officially your girlfriend whilst you were there as you don’t want it to be a case of asking her over a video call or a meet up for a day whilst you have a trip there.

You’re sat in the locker room taking in your surroundings, making sure you can remember this day vividly, as who wouldn’t want to remember a match that they’re in the starting 11 against Real Madrid. You’re watching your teammates dancing around and singing whilst you have your headphones in, listening to a playlist that the England girls have been listening to pre and post match. Your music quietens as you receive a text.

Good luck today! I can’t wait to watch you win!

You grin as you receive the message from Alessia and quickly send her back a thank you. You normally did a pre-match call to help not be so anxious for a match but you can only assume that due to the distance it may not be easy to call.

“What, or should I say who, has got you all smiley?” Ingrid nudges your shoulder. Ingrid took you under her wing when you started at Barcelona and she was one of the main few that you missed the most in Manchester.

“Just uh, this girl I’m talking to” You blush thinking about Alessia.

“Oh shit! You have a girlfriend? You go to Manchester for like 3 months and have already found a girlfriend? Nice one Y/N!” Ingrid cheers.

“Oh we aren’t together, just an old friend, another player, who I’ve reconnected with, nothing official” You say back, packing your headphones away and start getting ready to head out the room.

“If she’s got you smiling like that, you need to ask the girl out!” Mapi interjects. Alexia hobbles into the room in a leather coat and jeans to help give the team a pre-match pep talk and give the captain armband out. She gives her speech and walks over to you.

“Today Y/NN is going to be the captain! Her contract with us is nearly up and hopefully this helps secure a longer future here with us in Barcelona! Just know you’re appreciated by us and we all love you” Alexia cheers whilst the team huddle around you. You already know the outcome of your contract agreement and grin at Alexia’s little compliment to you.

The match starts without a hitch, fairly dirty game from the Madrid side but the Barcelona girls somewhat keep their cool. Half-time comes around and its 1-1, with Claudia Pina scoring an absolute belter of a goal to equalise. You give the team a big talk at half-time which gives the team an enormous boost to morale. You’ve already won the league and the team have already had the cup and party but this would mean that they went the whole season unbeaten, which has never been done in the history of the team.

85 minutes in. The score is 2-1 to Madrid. The girls are making more poor decisions with tackles, Mapi and Ingrid both receiving a yellow. However, you manage to make a sprint towards goal before your legs get swooped out by another pair of legs from behind you. Instantly the ref blows her whistle whilst angrily pointing to the penalty spot, the crowd is roaring with excitement at this whilst the ref shows a yellow card to the Madrid player, followed by a red quickly after. She protests before stomping off the pitch. Mapi goes up to take the penalty and nails it into the top right corner whilst the goalkeeper dives the other way. You run up to her and lift her whilst both yelling as other teammates join the huddle.

“Lets show them why we’ve already won this fucking league!” You yell to your team.

90 minutes have passed. 2 minutes of extra time. Both teams have been fighting hard, one to go unbeaten and the other team pushing hard to beat their rivals unbeaten streak.

Mapi sends you over a perfectly timed cross whilst you’re closing in on the goalkeeper. You pass it to your right to Claudia who runs it out slightly to help free up some space in the box, a Madrid player knocks the ball out of play, resulting in a corner for Barcelona.

Mapi steps up to take the corner as you all get in position in the box, she sends it soaring over to you so you jump and header it as best as you can. You thump to the ground and hear the stadium erupt, you jump back onto your feet and kick the ball back into the net in celebration. The final whistle is blown and your team instantly run to you and lift you up, playing at Camp Nou is always special but today felt different. You’re taking it all in as your team are underneath you celebrating loudly.

━━━━━

After all the celebrating you eventually head back to your hotel and start packing your stuff ready for when you next need to travel.

You hear your phone chiming on the bed to see Alessia’s name, requesting a video call.

“You are absolutely insane scoring a header like that!” She says instantly, you can hear Tooney in the background chanting your name.

“I take it you watched the game then?” You giggle.

“Of course I did, I wouldn’t have missed it for the world. Sadly I didn’t have a Barcelona shirt to wear at home whilst supporting you but I’m sure I can always steal one from you next time we meet up!” She says smiling at you through the screen.

“I’ll get one from my next match for you, if you’re extra nice I can even sign it for you!” You giggle, earning an eye roll from her.

“I really miss you Y/N. Like a lot” She sighs.

“I know Lessi, I miss you loads. I’ll be visiting soon though, not quite sure when but I promise it’ll be soon!” You smile back at her.

You carry on talking for what feels like hours before heading off to sleep ready for the next few days.

━━━━━

You’re sat with Lauren Hemp at a Man United v Liverpool match at the front row of the Manchester supporters section. You’re wearing a lovely red ‘Russo’ shirt as you lost a bet with Lauren the previous night on how long it’d take you to mention Alessia. Lauren keeps mentioning how she feels like she’s sinning sitting in a United supporters area. Underneath her hoodie she is wearing her City shirt so she feels ever so slightly less disgusted. You laugh at your friend's antics but nevertheless, she sticks it out with you to watch your girlfriend but not girlfriend play.

As the match wraps up between the two sides ending in a 6-0 win to United the teams make their way around the stadium chatting with fans and taking photos. Eventually a few come your way, catching Tooney’s eye.

“Lessi, there’s someone wearing your shirt there, go chat with them” She says casually, nudging her best mate in your direction.

“I was hoping to get my Russo shirt signed if you wouldn’t mind? I’m a massive fan. I’m so glad to hear you’re staying in Manchester for another 2 years” You smirk. Alessia is yanking you over the barriers and onto the pitch with her.

“I’ve missed you so much, you have no idea” She says squeezing you tight.

“I missed you too gorgeous, carry on with your fans. I’ll meet you as you leave, I can give you guys a lift?” You say with her nodding back.

━━━━━

Alessia and Ella meet you and Lauren outside the stadium as you offer to give them a lift home rather than get on a team coach back to manchester that takes a lot longer than a car. You all chat amongst yourselves and sing along with the radio.

You drop Tooney and Alessia off first. Lauren smacks your shoulder.

“Mate invite her over, the spare room is still only for you until you go wherever you go! Just keep the noise down yeah?”Lauren chuckles. You quickly jump out the car and grab Alessia. “Can I help you?” She chuckles looking at you.

“Uh so I’m staying at Laurens for the next few nights whilst I’m here, and was wondering if you wanted to stay over?” You say nervously. “I’d love to, let me just go drop off my stuff and I’ll be back!” Alessia runs into the house to drop off her stuff and grab some clothes for tomorrow.

“Bye Ella! I’m going for a sleepover!” She yells as she leaves the front door, whilst she can hear Ella yell something about protection.

━━━━━

You, Alessia, Lauren and Leila are all sprawled out over the sofa’s in the living room after eating your bodyweight in fast food. You hear a few yawns from the group and Lauren stands up.

“We are all clearly knackered, bed time!” She says, clapping at you all. You all get out of your seats and Lauren begins pushing you all towards the stairs.

Once Alessia gets settled in your temporary room she leans into you and kisses you gently, but that gentle kiss keeps escalating until the both of you have to break apart in order to breathe.

“You have no idea how hot it was to see you in a United jersey with my name on it” She says leaning in for yet another passionate kiss.

“Well you have no idea how hot it was to see you tackling people and getting angry at the ref” You say back. “Well the ref was being stupid, I still can’t believe he-” You break her complaining with a kiss, she straddles your lap and starts taking your shirt off.

“God I’ve missed you” She says whilst attacking your neck

The rest of the night continues as you’d expect. By that, you didn’t really sleep a lot. After all you did have a lot of catching up to do with Alessia.

━━━━━

You wake up the following morning to your phone ringing, you quickly grab it and answer.

“Yes I’d love to! Thank you so much, I’ll be there as soon as possible” You say trying not to scream with excitement, Alessia has woken up and looks as confused as ever.

“What was that about?” She asks you, prodding your side.

“Oh nothing, you’ll find out soon!” You smirk at her “That reminds me, can I take you somewhere today? A surprise date if you will”.

“I’d love that, we do need to make up for all the video calls whilst you’re visiting!” She smiles at you “Where are we going?”

“About that, it’s going to be a surprise” You grin with Alessia looking at you confused.

After a short drive with Alessia complaining about being blindfolded and the odd "This is a bit kinky" comment you eventually arrive at the date destination.

“Ta da!” You say as you remove Alessia’s blindfold. She winces at the light and looks out the window.

“Very funny Y/N, you know I will always be a United fan and you cant convert me!” She says sighing at the view of the Etihad Stadium in front of you.

“Oh well I guess you wouldn’t wanna go in for a tour with me then!” You smirk, she sighs and gives in. You’re both greeted at the door by some staff who guide you back outside, where Gareth Taylor is waiting whilst admiring the stadium.

“Hey Gareth!” You say as you shake his hand, he shakes Alessia’s hand and greets her too.

“You ready to see it?” He asks you whilst patting your shoulder, and you nod excitedly in response. Alessia is looking between the two of you, confused at what is going on, whilst you’re looking at a big display that is blank, until it’s finally on display. He pats you on the back and walks back into the stadium whilst yelling a “See you at training!” in your direction.

“Welcome Y/N Y/LN!” is written on the display with a photo of you in your City kit on the display with “2025” written underneath too.

“Wait, is this what I think it is?” Alessia squeals whilst hugging you tightly “You’re coming back?”

“I am, and there’s no chance of Barcelona stealing me this time” You squeeze her back.

“I can’t believe it, this is the best day ever!” She starts tearing up on your shoulder, you kiss her face repeatedly and can’t wipe the smile from your face. Your phone starts buzzing with notifications, which means the whole world know that you’re officially signed at City.

“I love you Alessia” You blurt out whilst hugging her, she pulls back to look into your eyes.

“I love you too Y/N, more than you’ll ever know” she presses a gentle kiss to your lips whilst smiling into it.

“I guess this makes us girlfriends now?” You ask her.

“You haven’t even asked!” She jokes, pretending to be offended.

“Oh I’m sorry! Alessia Mia Teresa Russo, will you be my girlfriend?” You say bowing slightly to her and extending a hand out to her whilst laughing.

“You’re so dumb” She giggles and takes your hand “But yes, of course I’d love that” She kisses you again, this was by far the happiest day of your whole life so far, but you knew it would be overtaken in the future, as long as Alessia was part of it.

━━━━━

Hopefully this was a nice part 2 for you guys and that you enjoyed the ending! <3

[ambientgateway]

Bugbear/Damien (SSLG) x overworked!Reader

--------------------------------------

You've been quite not like yourself lately. You don't go out to the usual spots you like, nor do you hang out with your precious bugbae as much. He obviously noticed that. USUALLY you two are constantly together, and when you're not, you are. You just can't see him (or he is out "feasting"). Quite a lovable stalker. The boogeyman noticed that you're more stressed than usual, but you brushed it off, telling him not to worry. He decided to listen, but now he thinks it wasn't such a great idea.

Midterms. They came so soon, you didn't even have time to prepare. You feel terrible. From one side, ITS MIDTERMS, you wanna study, but you can't brings yourself to do it, due to being overwhelmed. It is constantly on your mind, and yet you can't do anything because of this anxiety. Isn't it strange how we work? We stress abnout something, and yet we can't even start because of the stress. and then end up doing everything the last minute or not doing anything at all and feeling like shit. Why does everything has to be so stressful? To be honest, somedays it's like death isn't as scary as failing. But that's ridiculous. You shouldn't think this way. Perhaps you're just burned out.

*squeak*

Without having to turn your head towards the sound, you already know who this is. It is Damien Bugbear, your partner. Suddenly you are tackled in a hug and spun around!

"i missed youuu" he says in a sing song voice, finally putting you down. "I noticed that something is wrong, need some help?"

you can tell by the look in his eyes, he knows.

As you nod your head in approval, he ushers you to bed and covers you in blankets. "stay here, I'll bring you some snacks"

after a few minutes of just eating and chatting, of taking your mind off of stress, he asks "Why haven't you asked for my help? we could study together you know?" he says, his smile looking....softer? Maybe your is just playing tricks on you.

"No need to stress out. Having problems is normal. Life is meant to be enjoyed" he says, while nuzzling into you. You pet his head (ears) and relax in his presence. "I will help you with the material and then we can summon some evil spirit in potion class :)"

As you two study, he reminds you to take breaks and drink (your preferred beverage). It is certainly better with him nearby. "Don't give up yet, we've got so much to do after the midterms ^w^" he says, looking into your eyes. He knows. "I will always be there to help you, wether it is studying or killing someone who bothers you." *He hugs you again, in a bearhug. "Just hold on for longer. It will be over and will eventually pay off. we still have time, we always do. Just relax and enjoy your life. Don't bother with stress. If you feel like crying, then let it out. if you're feeling rage, go beat someone up ^w^. I want yuou to be happy, and I can't help but be worried when you're feeling not quite like yourself. I will always be here to help you get your groove back. I am always here for you."

[dangertoozmanykids101]

Brush And Floss To Fight Cavities And Other Villains

I forgot I even wrote this first half of a story - back in January of 2020.

SUMMARY: You'll never believe what happened to poor Tom today. He really got sent through the wringer - quite the rollercoaster of a day. But don't worry, Tom is going to tell you all about it. "It all started with this dream I had...."

But first let me blame @maryxglz for starting my morning off today far too fixated on young Tom and his teeth. Our dearest @maryxglz has been fueling our community with the most beautiful gifs for years. Look at this one! (Link to full post in blue.)

@maryxglz posted the above gif back in Dec 2018 in a perfect set of three all looping with perfect timing to showcase his mouth - those lips, that little tongue that peeks out in another gif, and those gleaming white teeth. And I haven't even mentioned the way those eyelashes brush his skin when they flutter closed like a butterfly sunning itself on my finger.

Only for his eyes to open back up with those pale ocean blue eyes that sparkle with ... GOD they are seductive! @maryxglz you have done it again!! He looks like a little coquette that I want to gobble up piece by piece!

[Clearing my throat, unsuccessfully trying to rid my voice of that hoarse gravely growl that undermines my desperate attempt to appear non-predatory.]

Brush And Floss To Fight Cavities And Other Villains

So after spending half my morning fixated on his teeth in this filthy erotic gif above that @maryxglz made, I remembered a stupid crack fic I started back in Jan 2020 that y'all may or may not get a kick out of. You tell me? It's 2111 words and somewhere I have a second chapter started. On AO3 I tagged it with warnings such as minor violence, dreams vs. reality, nightmares, teeth, tooth fairy, alternate reality, RPF Tom Hiddleston, crack fiction, I must've been on crack to write this. Sorry, no smut. It's not really RPF though - just a guy named Tom who looks exactly like the guy in the above gif by @maryxglz Enjoy.

This is from Tom's POV.

You know what saved me? Pilates. I was able to finally buck my hips hard enough to knock her off balance and free my legs from under me.

So it all started with this dream I had last night. You're going to think I'm crazy, but please hear me out.

In my dream, I woke up lying in bed still dressed, smelling like a saloon, and feeling like I'd been in a bar fight. My tongue was cracked and grooved from dehydration and mouth breathing; it felt like the floor of a desert and probably looked even worse. When I opened my eyes, I saw none other than the tooth fairy hovering above my bed with her face maybe 10 inches from mine. She was intently staring at my mouth until I snapped it shut. I was left with this awkward violated feeling, like she had seen me dancing naked in the kitchen.

"You're awake! Oh wonderful. This will be so much easier now." Her face lit up when she saw my eyes open. Her wings moved so fast that I hadn't noticed them until she did a happy spin with an extra swoop-dee-loop and flutter that scattered gold fairy dust all over me and the bed. Some got into my nose which I accidentally inhaled, sending me into a painful coughing fit. At some point I made the mistake of licking my lips; it tasted disgusting and bitter.

Once my cough settled down, I stared at her in disbelief, trying to figure out what or who she was. I hadn't noticed yet that I was dreaming, a concept still far out of reach, nor was I privy to the fact that she was after my teeth. I just felt groggy, still two sheets to the wind with my head feeling thick and fragile, so my mind wandered trying to remember why I would be hung over and where I had gone that night dressed in a tuxedo. In real life I knew I had stayed home, but my attire and the state of my health told another story.

During my internal debate of truth, facts, and misconceptions, the tooth fairy was flipping through some notebook mumbling to herself. All I could understand were random numbers she rattled off in no obvious sequence before she slammed the book shut.

"Right-ee-o then. You are Thomas William Hiddleston, correct?" She smiled with a very business-like receptionist's smile that was as superficial as her gold leaf lipstick.

"Yes." I had no idea what else to say since she wasn't wrong.

"Good. Now open wide please so I can take inventory."

I hadn't realized how little she was. Her face was so close to mine when she spoke that I could barely focus. Otherwise, she hovered beside the bed, slightly floating up and down and still far enough away to skew with my depth perception. Without my glasses or contacts in she was little more than a white blur that far away, appearing to float like an apparition or some energy being. I thought maybe she was an angel, since she wore white and her skin had a gold shine to it, as though she was her own nightlight.

When her hands grabbed my lips and pulled my mouth open, I was shocked that her hands were no bigger than a raccoon or maybe a tiny monkey. Her face came closer to look directly into my mouth. I just laid there and let her do whatever she wanted. I wasn't scared yet, just super weirded out and hoping the examination would be over soon.

She reached in and moved my tongue from one side to the other as she counted to herself, and mumbled things like:

"Yep."

"I knew it."

"Oh, that's no good."

"Yep. That one too."

"Well, that one can wait."

Leaning back she wrote some more things into her little notebook and shook her head. She scratched her chin furiously before writing more, then shook her head again.

"They are not going to be happy about this," she muttered to herself, but her voice was loud enough for me to hear.

In an attempt to lighten the mood as well as distract myself, I couldn't resist the urge to say anything to fill the silence. It didn't matter what I said, as long as I said something. This was unfortunate since what spilled out of my mouth was moronic.

"Well Doc, am I going to live or not? Just give it to me straight, Doc." I used some weird American accent that I couldn't identify, let alone tell you why I used it. I just felt stupid after I spoke out loud. The only other sound in the room was the low whir of her wings beating as fast as a hummingbird. Besides that, the silence was deafening, an assassin to any performer's ego. She completely ignored me as though I hadn't said a word. I'll admit that this wasn't a shock, since my comedic delivery needed a lot of work.

Without even acknowledging me, she put away her notebook somewhere and took a surgical mask out of her pocket. A little metal arm swung down from atop her head that had a huge magnifying glass attached to the end. The lens covered half of her face and from my view her eye was enlarged just as big as the lens.

"Okey dokey Tommy my dear. There is nothing to be afraid of. This will just take a few minutes and it won't hurt a bit. You'll only feel a tiny little bee sting."

"Bee sting?!" I jumped up and scrambled back across the bed. "WHAT isn't going to hurt? Because a bee sting DOES hurt! How do you know I'm not allergic to bee stings?"

“Tommy boy. Stay still." She advanced on my position until I fell off the bed.

I did a backflip, or more accurately a clumsy back roll and belly flop off the bed landing flat onto my face. Keeping my body low to the ground, I tried to crawl away from the bed toward the door. I didn't want to spook her since she seemed unpredictable.

Her advance was steady until I started to crawl, then she whipped around to block my path to the door and flew at me like a bat out of Hel. Knocking me back, the little demon planted herself on my chest trapping my knees still bent underneath me. This left me in an awkward and uncomfortable position with my arms pinned to my sides under her thighs. She may have been tiny, but no amount of wiggling and pushing would budge her. The laws of physics did not apply to this creature. Though she was tiny, she was fierce and weighed a ton.

The comedy of the scene was surreal; I, a very fit six foot two inch man, just got taken down and completely incapacitated by some little pixie devil the size of a large raccoon with wings.

She studied my eyes; she didn't look into them but AT them, first one and then the other, studying them as though she was reading a story we couldn't see, or listening to music we couldn't hear. I watched her facial expressions intensely, trying to interpret something, anything that she might give away.

"Can you hear me Tommy?"

I nodded. I thought I could hear her. My eyes were as big as saucers, so maybe I just saw her talk while my brain made assumptions about what she said. I rapidly blinked a few times to verify that my eyes were indeed open, but I couldn't figure out how to verify that my ears were turned on.

"OK. Good. I'm going to take three teeth, and then you can go back to sleep."

THREE? .... THREE TEETH!!

I shook my head violently, partially to make sure I was hearing things correctly, partially to rattle some things lose in case I was going crazy, and partially because I was really hoping this was a dream. I continued to shake my head plus as much of my upper body that I could, because there was no way in Hel I would let her near my mouth. I held my lips pursed so tight she would have needed a crowbar to get inside. She tried to grab the sides of my head to steady me, but I just thrashed harder.

"You need to settle down Mr. Hiddleston. Just open your mouth and you'll never even miss them. I promise! But I'm not leaving here tonight without them."

Anger and contempt formed in her eyes. Her hand pulled back and she swung. She slapped me so hard that I heard a bell ring.

In that stunned moment my mouth fell open and those tiny little monkey hands of hers dove into my mouth. She grabbed ahold of one of my molars and started yanking at it. I've never before felt anything so bizarre or disturbing.

If that little angel hadn't fallen from heaven already, she surely would soon. The anger in her eyes glowed like the flames of Hel as she glared at me; she looked scary. Those tiny little hands pushed down on my windpipe at just the right spot. With the creepiest smile flashing large bright white perfectly straight teeth, she watched me struggle and gasp for air. I slammed my knees into her back several times, but she didn't budge.

"Well my dear sweet Tommy-Boy, looks like we'll have to anesthetize you in order to retrieve what we are due. Now just close your eyes. That's it. Go to sleep."

The lack of oxygen to my brain started to take its toll. I stared up and the world slowly was swallowed by a black cloud encircling her so she became this golden flame still visible inside my rapidly diminishing vision; she was the only light within a vast darkness. The irises of her eyes spiraled with green and gold as everything grew darker and darker until all I could see were those eyes and hear her saying "Tommy-Boy" over and over again.

It was terrifying! I thought I was going to die.

With my last ounce of strength before I completely succumbed to an unconscious void, with one last abdominal crunch to literally save my life, my knees hit her back with enough force to push her off me.

I sat up, coughing and drawing as much air into my lungs as I could, but no sooner had I caught my breath that she knocked it right out of me again. I heard this shrill scream behind me seconds before I felt the impact. She flew full throttle into my back and sent me rolling across the floor.

With my adrenaline pumping overtime by this point, I felt like Kong as I stood up and reached for her as she flew around me just outside of my grasp. Swooping in and out, stabbing me repeatedly with something sharp, she hissed in response to my roars.

Then I got her!

My giant gorilla hand wrapped around her ankle and threw her to the ground. Dust plumed up from the carpet like a cloud, leaving a small crater on my bedroom floor.

Finally I had knocked the wind out of her giving me the upper hand for a mere moment, but that was plenty of time. I roared into her face with the fury of a wild animal before grabbing her feet. Lifting her up into the air like a rag doll, I slammed her body back down to the ground again and again and again.

Eventually she just disappeared out of my hands in a sparkling puff of smoke, leaving me standing alone and bewildered. I sat back down on the edge of the bed staring at the state of my room wondering how I would ever explain the damage to the floor, especially considering that every surface of my room was covered with a sparkling gold glitter.

Looking at my hands and legs, I was covered with the same glowing gold dust. I couldn't rub it off no matter how hard I tried. Finally I just gave up and flung myself back onto the bed absolutely exhausted.

'What the fuck just happened to me?` was all I could think as I drifted back to sleep.

"Tom! Tom!"

I felt something kicking at my leg still dangling off the bed, and I heard myself grunting with each kick to the shin. That sensation was real, very real. My shin would surely develop a huge bruise quickly.

"Ouch!" I finally moaned almost intelligibly.

"Thomas William Hiddleston! Wake up you asshole!"

I'm just tagging a handful of people off the top of my head who might have a good laugh or remember the first time I posted this. @nildespirandum @ladyoftheteaandblood @caffiend-queen @redfoxwritesstuff @myoxisbroken @imanuglywombat @jtargaryen18 @so-easy-to-love-me @acidcasualties @americasass81 @muddyorbs @lokisgoodgirl @frostbitten-written @talklokitome @latent-thoughts @mooncat163 @fictive-sl0th @mastreworld @gigglingtiggerv2 @deceitfuldevout @lokischambermaid @mochie85 @alexakeyloveloki @devikafernando @holymultiplefandomsbatman

[melodyofthevoid]

Spotify Discovery Review

So I wanted to try something new and figured I'd dive into more music thoughts, and since I've been actually listening to my Spotify Discovery (I needed new music lol) so yeah.

Overall Rating: 13/30 that I really like and even sort of like, so not bad. Probably won't be saving a ton of these for later listening, a few might go into some character playlists at least so that's good. We'll see if any grow on me. Below are some of the standouts good, bad, and indifferent. A few songs I didn't include bc they're instrumentals that I didn't really have any thoughts on. Not even neutral thoughts.

Good

Dear Alice (rainy days)

Slow and dreamlike, it's not really a surprise that there's heavy Alice in Wonderland theming but even though there's not a ton of singing, I found myself enjoying the ride.

Femme Fatale

A fantastic beat, a combination of western and tango aesthetics, a fast paced ride that makes me want to groove. Love the flirty danger that drips off of every word, it's got a solid identity and doesn't feel like it's trying too hard to be "edgy" or anything.

YOUR HEAD'S ON FIRE

Louie Zhong is always a bop and his lyrical style is always a joy. Unconventional metaphors and fun little bits, a very groovy guitar line that makes you want to wiggle.

Blink of an eye

Halfy and Winks make DSMP songs, I'm aware of this, however I love their musical style and lyrics. Gives me heavy inspiration for my own story just with how vivid and story based their stuff is. The revolutionary spark in here is nice.

Invisible Dan Avidan has popped into my feeds and I’m not really complaining? I love the rock style/retro vibe that this one has going on, his vocals really sell it. A little bit chase scene a little bit breakdown but overall a good time.

The Moon and Stars

Good folk vibes, gets close to scratching the same itch that The Crane Wives do but not quite, which is still a good time for me. We'll see if this fits a character in future.

The Manic

A great character song, will be applying to my blorbos soon. The pushing away from someone you love because you know you'll hurt them eventually and can't take it. Very good stuff.

Dance While the Sky Crashes Down

Eyyy Jason Webly, I remember you from WTNV. A tango for the end of the world and honestly isn't that a mood? I love the lyrics, although it drags a smidge at the end. Maybe because of TMA I'm a little more inclined towards this.

A song whose title is in Japanese. It's from land of the lustrous and I cannot copy paste the title.

Very eerie, very atmospheric. I haven't watched the show in its entirety myself, but I know that it has horror and suspense interwoven in some of the back half, and the clanking bells and echoes really give the sensation of being watched. Of being on edge. Good stuff.

Break Your Cranck

An altogether inexplicable piece. It’s done on a hurdy gurdy which is already a plus but. It. It sounds like electronica crafted by pirate bees. With some Indian influence thrown in for flavor. Like a space punk pirate bazaar. Very atmospheric but also so so confusing. I love it.

Dance of the blood drunk

A balance of wild carnival and orchestral splendor, feels like an epic batter on a grand scale. The unsteady thrill of never knowing if you’re winning or not.

Neutral

Absence

I kinda forgot what this sounded like tbh.

How Dare You

Pretty good? No real feelings on it.

I was an island

Again with the good lyrics, but the instrumentation and singing are on the verge of being unlistenable? Like I can listen, and I could see myself putting this on a character playlist or two for sure.

Tavern crawl

A fun little bawdy medieval style song, Annapantsu kills it as expected, but bar songs/drinking songs aren’t really my vibe? But I could see myself grooving to this generally.

Brand new city

Mitski, which is good, but some of her stuff doesn't hit me as much as it does others, and this is one of those times. Not bad by any means, just not something I can see myself going back to.

Cold, cold, cold

Has a story to it, the grandiosity is nice especially near the end but the whole song together doesn’t quite capture me in the way that other artists in this space do. I could listen to it if I was in a particular mood but otherwise it’s not a stand out.

Bitch, Bitch, Bitch

I do like the Jekyll and Hyde musical don't get me wrong but I'm not a huge fan of this one? It's mostly a song meant to establish the upper crust as mindless gossips and twits, the combination of the old Disney-musical style instrumentals and the rather vulgar (by Victorian standards) lyrics is funny but that's all its got.

Timekeeper's Heartbeat

An interesting case where I like the instrumentals and most of the lyrics but it fails to really coalesce into a song? There's bits that don't rhyme for no reason, it comes across like one of those English vocaloid covers that doesn't adjust for the context. If it is, I wouldn't be surprised.

Nah

Whiplash (Black Math) Don’t like listening to it, not much else to really say here.

Wish you were gay I’m aware this one is a bit of a darling in some of the animation meme circles but I don’t really care for the instrumentation or the lyrics. Unpleasant to listen to.

Two's a party Jazz/cabaret but there’s not really a depth to it imo. I find it a bit hard to listen to despite the singer being pretty good if a bit... too whispery. A combination of the lyrics and sudden trumpet jump scares ig.

Judas An interesting concept and premise, the dichotomy of a queer relationship contrasted with the religious imagery is layered but the vocal performance doesn’t really do it for me. Seems to want to be mountain goats but it’s a little too raw?

I DONT TRUST U ANYMORE Person with a guitar genre, valid feelings but vocal performance is a bit flat. Reminds me of blink 182 but with none of the energy.

[dg-outlaw]

Trying to get back in the groove

This is an update for those who are following my JaySteph fic series, 'A Few Sparks Before The Fire' over on Ao3.

So... I've gone back and forth on how to do this post. Lots of detail. Be vague. Post nothing. But I figured an update was needed as I haven't posted a new chapter in a few weeks.

Shortly after posting Chapter 20 of 'Getting Lost in the Flames' I had to say 'goodbye' to my beautiful and amazing canine fur baby. She was old and lived a long, happy, and spoiled life, but even with some health issues the last few years and being on borrowed time because of those health issues I always thought THAT day was still in the future.

And then that day came.

She definitely defied the odds, but in the end she was ready to go. I find peace in the fact that I got be with her, say goodbye, and see to it that she had a painless final sleep before moving on to her next adventure among the stars. I also knew that day would be one of my hardest days... and it was.

Needless to say, I haven't been writing since then. There was mourning, rest, trying to find the "new normal" (still sorting that out), and lately I've been in that manic 'what do I do with myself?' phase after losing my routine of consistent writing. I'm doing okay now and I think I'm ready to get back to it, but after losing my fuzzy little girl and my consistency it's been tough.

Anyway, I wanted to give an update and let people know that I haven't quit. I've just needed time and might need some good vibes from anyone willing to put them out there so I can get back in the saddle and keep going.

[kolsmikaelson]

hey guys!! it's been a long few months that i've been gone (i can’t remember when exactly i started being inactive but that’s not the point) and i've been missing this hellsite so much in the time that i’ve been gone. there wasn’t ever really a reason for me going ia all of the sudden but what i do know is that my mental state definitely needed a longer break from here, and while i'm still not in the best place mentally i still wanted to hop back on here and give a bit of an update on my life and my blog and try to be a bit more active like i used to be.

writing and the future of this blog —

as i mentioned before, i haven't been in the best mental state lately but i’ve decided i want to try and come back here and start writing again! i love writing and i think getting back into it and getting into the groove of things here would help me out some. now with that being said, i’ll be going through who i write for and updating things, unfortunately this also means a new taglist most likely but if you’d rather i have a writing sideblog where i reblog all of my fics so if that’s more your thing go ahead and follow it @rodrickhefley !! i’ll still be writing for and posting about hockey so don’t worry about that, but i also want to try writing for other things (such as ted lasso, star wars, scream, avatar, hotd, etc.)  i have a few things up my sleeve at the moment but none are quite ready to see the light of day unfortunately. i’m hoping to gain some new, active mutuals from this as well :). i’m gonna be trying out some different formats for my fics so when there’s inconsistencies please ignore that! i’ll also be doing some social media aus / insta posts again!! with all of this being said, i've decided to either post all of the requests that are currently sitting in my inbox so that another writer can take over and write it or delete them all. i may or may not keep a few depending on if i feel inspired by them or not but we’ll see what i decide:) (poll maybe??)

personal life — 

my life has been an absolute rollercoaster of events since about mid april i’d say? ever since then i’ve been so incredibly busy and haven’t had a moment of peace honestly but now that i’ve got more time i’m back!!! i turned eighteen back in july, woohoo!! so i’ve been trying to figure out how to navigate life as a real adult now. it’s been going somewhat okay, i’m not in college at the moment (won’t dive too deep into this bc it’s so scary but i’ll have plenty of time to write fics so ;) ). part of my absence here was caused by the fact that i started getting really active on twitter, where i went through so much shit but also made a pretty good friend group!! a few days back i took a trip and saw arctic monkeys in concert (i had tickets for over a year and it was well worth it) . it was such a fantastic show!!! i’ve not got much of an update other than that so if you enjoyed my rambling and made it this far thank you sm. i’ve missed it here <3. 

also, not sure when this happened but thank you all sm for 1.8k followers?? that’s so crazy to me but it means so much <33

since i'm not sure which of my moots are active anymore i’ll just tag who i can think of off the top of my head — @ilyasorokinn @2manytabsopen @ang3lik @angryblondechick @boqvistsbabe @timstuetzle @lavenderacademia @conniesanchor @stfukie @sunshinefarabees @hockstuff @typical-simplelove @dmonchld + i know i'm probably missing so many people but it's been so long i don't remember everybodys usernames anymore

[picnokinesis]

hello!! :D I asked for a spoilerless preview of 13s seasons a while back on anon, and your answer really got me excited to finish my rewatch!! took me a while because uni doesn't allow for binging the way high school used to, but I just finished season 12 the other day! I've enjoyed chibnall's era more and more the further I got (season 11 still definitely isn't anywhere near my favorite, but liked it a LOT more than I did on my first watch, knowing the foundations it was laying), and I LOVED the first episode of season 13! SO much! I haven't gotten further but I really wanted you to know haha, it's fun, it's exciting, it's got awesome new characters -- I so wish chibnall had gotten into the groove a little sooner, because this is exactly what I hoped his era to be! imagine if we could have gotten 3 full seasons on the same level... ahhhh I'm super excited to watch the rest! especially since several of the episodes you mentioned were your favorites are from season 13 -- and the first episode isn't even one of them!

Ahhhh oh my days hi hi hi!! I am SO so happy that you've enjoyed s12 so much! I think s12 honestly might be one of my favourite seasons of doctor who (although there are a lot of excellent contenders), simply because it just inspired me so much. There's so much to dig into. And yesss I think s11 works a lot better in context of the rest of it, which is super interesting. Actually, honestly, it all works SO nicely as a whole unit, which is super satisfying - to me, at least - but I suppose that hampered it when everything first aired, because we didn't have the whole picture (but also, that is how tv works sometimes ksksk - there were and are a LOT of bad faith viewings of this era, and it makes me so sad because I know that the moment you dig into it you start to realise just how rich this era has been). But yknow, what you say about s11 is interesting, because I do know a lot of people who really love it exactly as it is and always have - there are quite a number of people who got into Doctor Who because of s11, so I think, whilst there are things I don't like about it, I reckon Chibnall did approach it in a particular way with a particular intent - and it worked for some people, but less for others. And like, in a similar vein, I've actually found myself defending Moffatt of all people lately, despite the fact that I really don't enjoy like, two of his seasons, as well as a lot of things that he tends to do. But it's because I think like....hm, I guess I've lately found it really helpful to remember that all the writers are just humans who are putting stories and art out into the world that they want to create, and are sharing it with us - it's never going to be perfect, despite how much we want it to be. And there's always something of value in each era, right? Each of the main showrunners we've had since 2005 have had strengths and weaknesses, and there's something about each era that I absolutely adore. That said, there's definitely value in expecting better in certain degrees - but then you get people making hour long videos about how the show sucks now and I get so tired skskks

BUT YEAH sorry for rambling, your ask just got me thinking thoughts - much more importantly, you've got THE REST OF FLUX TO WATCH ahhhHHH have FUN!! War of the Sontarans is next and oh my daaaaays i love that episode SO much (I literally said as much earlier today and my coworker was like 'yes taka i know you love that episode' SKKSKSKSKSK SO. YKNOW) but honestly I just adore Flux. It's got such classic who vibes - I've started watching some classic lately and it's so funny seeing what inspired a lot of the structure/style of Flux (like the STUPID CLIFFHANGERS oh my days we need MORE of those). So I really hope you enjoy the rest - and the specials too!! Eve of the Daleks and The Power of the Doctor are soooooo much fun :D Please feel free to let me know what you think when you've watched it all, if you'd like to! I'd love to hear your thoughts/what your favourite episodes of thirteen's era as a whole have been! <3

[morfinwen]

So. Things are ... going.

My overall emotional state is kinda like when something falls from a high place and lands on something between it and the ground and stabilizes after wobbling: it's not great or even good, but it isn't shattered pieces on the ground.

I have never been particularly good at discerning my own state of mind or distinguishing between the causes and effects thereof. Allergies are still a thing but mostly in check, and while it's fun (after a fashion) to blame the cold and frankly ridiculous early darkness, that's been a thing for years and i don't recall always having an emotional collapse this time of year, so it might be something else. (I hope it's something else: can't really afford to move somewhere less affected by the earth's tilt, and i'd rather not have to deal with this level of depression annually.)

Currently on the new job hunt. Weirdly enough, there's the occasional high of seeing a job posting that sounds really good, but sadly it is often followed by the low of seeing how many other people have also applied for it. I have resorted to adding (*gag*) a cover letter with most applications in the hopes that will make an impact. Next step may be "reaching out to the employer", but i really hope it doesn't come to that.

Computer is up and running again, and my phone has been replaced -- with the latter, there's adjustments to be made in the change to a different model, but at least i can actually use it for phone calls and don't have to worry that restarting it will necessitate a factory reset.

So! Prayer requests:

First and foremost, a new job. I would really like a work-from-home data entry kind of position, but there's multiple factors at play, so just .... anything that would be a better fit than my current job.

That whatever is messing with my emotions would just ... not do that anymore? Tbh i can't tell if i've got some actual mental illness going on or just the garden-variety kind of thing that plagues "normal" people.

Continuing to make progress with helping my sister achieve what independence she can.

I'm going to start going back to the gym this week (haven't been in the last two weeks), but eating healthy remains a problem.

A couple appointments i should be making ... really don't want to.

My mom had a particular genetic (defect? malfunction? unsure of the correct term) that probably contributed to her getting cancer. It's hereditary, so i recently got blood drawn to be tested for the same. Please pray for results to be quick and that i didn't inherit it.

Oh, and there's some writing i really want to do, but it's been a while since i've really been able to find a writing groove, and it's only gotten harder to attempt now that i've quit using Google Docs.

That's all i got for now. Someday, maybe, i will start queuing posts again.

[m0llystars]

there's been a lot on my mind lately, in the past month especially with trying to be more active with my community n stuff, while balancing that with literally everything else, and it's made me think a lot still abt my work ethic. i tend to get so caught up in what i Haven't done yet, and trying to get that done as soon as possible, that i feel like i still make the mistake of focusing too much on the finish line rather than just enjoying the view as i go? yknow, its a marathon, not a sprint, etc. it's just interesting how rarely i'm in the headspace to actually acknowledge that.

this feels like the kind of thing i could probably go to therapy for tbh, if i could afford it/manage to get myself in a situation where that would be easy to pull off, but its made me realize that maybe i should do smth like making weekly or even daily to-do lists again. there's so much i Want to do, and not enough room or time for just my brain alone to keep track of it all without going into tunnel vision. quite genuinely i think i should just take it one day at a time.

it feels rlly obvious in retrospect, but i probably was so adverse to this approach because in the time i did attempt that before, i wasn't exactly in a place where i felt...really like actually enjoying my life in the day-to-day. i feel like there's times where taking it day by day is the better option, but it felt like for 2021-2022, and some of this year even, it was less about that, and more about just focusing on getting some shit done, a sense of "things could be better, and i want to be where things are better already". but i'm at a point now, where, i have a lot of what i was trying to aim for and achieve since years ago, even if stuff Still could be better, i already have a few things that are more than worth paying more close attention to. a community around my stuff that's rather active. some promising or otherwise just really interesting opportunities to be involved in other people's stuff. even getting somewhat in the groove to work on one of my more serious projects, not just thinking about working on them. yeah, obviously i could be quicker. and there's things like the patreon stuff, which feel more time sensitive, and i want to always get stuff out for that as much as i can. but i think this was a period where i kind of just realized i need to not think in the bigger picture so much.

a thing i preached abt in my last update video on molly m. was that in some way, you've always got time. even if things are hectic, you've always got time to some extent. and i think while in the beginning of the year, it reflected that in the sense that i always have time to figure things out, and do the stuff i want to do, right now i think i want to apply it through the lens of "i have more than plenty of time to just stop and look at the flowers for a while before getting back to figuring stuff out further". i was in a lot of incredibly dense woods before, but i'm at an open field now, and i may as well take the moment to appreciate what i can see while i still see it. at least, i think that's what's better currently.

[poolpartymusic]

been a while, forgot old e-mail

I think the last blog I made was 'dutchkidhuffingballons.tumblr.com', the name inspired by the Sam Fender song. I'm pretty sure I stopped writing when I got into my first relationship.

Turns out a relationship(or at leas this one) made me vent to an actual human and turn away from my diary-type blogs for once. Now, three years down the line, I'm still dating this beautiful man. I'm no longer in the honeymoon phase (although at times it does feel like I'm right back in it again), and for the past year/year and a half I've been trying to find my groove back.

It's different. Living and trying to do your own thing while simultaneously spending so much time with such a sweet man. It's easy to let time fly by and forget about my old hobbies. I don't draw as much anymore, I don't see as many friends any more. I also think that's just part of growing up, but I do want to find myself back still.

It's so much easier to journal through my computer than it is writing in my diary, which actually is quite a shame. I don't know why, but words come to me much easier like this.

Anyway, it's been a while. I forgot my e-mail to my old tumblr account. Decided I might as well make my tenth-thousandth blog.

I think I just want to journal about what changes I go through as a person, what thoughts I have and what struggles I must combat. Maybe this will be the last post I ever post on here. Who knows...

Today is the 17th of October 2023. I'm 23. I live in Utrecht, across from my boyfriend in the same apartment complex. Summer is officially over, it's pretty chilly out but today at least the sky is bright blue.

I'm in my third year at college, meaning I'm following a minor ICT at HU. Pro: It's only a 5 minute walk to school, and I only have in-person classes two days a week. I've learned quite some programming in Python and I think I'm pretty okay at it. Con: The business part of the minor is the main part, and I tend to find it a little less interesting. I don't feel very motivated for it.

I've realized that now, for maybe the first time ever, I don't really have a solid friend group anymore. Of course I have loose friends that I feel close to, but a month or two ago I stepped out of my High School friend group because it was no longer a fulfilling friendship for me. They never really reached out to me and I tried to see them whenever I was in my home town, but it was never that meaningful. I do miss it, but I do think it's good I put some distance between us.

My college friends from my film studies don't feel as close to me as they once did. Every time we hang out, they talk about their work and business related things. Interesting, but it does put some distance between us. I miss them, but most of them are always busy. I guess I feel like they don't really have time for me. And I don't blame them, because I haven't been the most active friend to them either.

I miss having a solid friend group...

Okay, well. I think that's good for now. If anyone other than myself ever comes across this blog (which I doubt): hello, welcome. Feel free to read my diary. I'll try to stay anonymous and I'll appreciate it if you'll let me. From experience I know that this isn't going to be that interesting to myself in a few years, let alone for someone who doesn't even know me. But hey, I hope you're okay.

[paused-waterfall]

Care to tell more about what you think of the plot and characters to the dsmp? Which ideas you enjoy and don't? It's super interesting since I was there during the hype and it sucks that the whole thing seemed to crash in and burn (at least in my eyes). At least a few CCS got to end their characters how they wanted too

Ah man, the plot and characters. First, a caveat: My thorough watch-through hasn't yet reached the conclusion of many of the characters, so I can't properly speak to that. I've encountered plenty of warning signs of controversial and stunted conclusions, so that has been my expectation from the start. With that hanging ominously over our heads, here are some of my thoughts on the rest:

Despite its overt absurdity, the plot of the dsmp feels more like a history book than a novel. In your prototypical novel, one author is really just trying to tell one story. They will cut scenes that don't add to that core story, and simplify their work if they're afraid their audience might get lost in the weeds. Background characters, in particular, get cut down to only existing as the minimally adorned cogs needed to complete the mechanisms of the plot.

In the dsmp, damn near every character is fleshed out by a whole human who is specifically invested in that character. A creator might only play a small part in a given storyline, and any individual viewer might have a complete blindspot for a given character. But there's still a whole person sitting behind every username, monitoring (and sometimes, experiencing) their motivations in real time.

And this lets them do weird shit with their characters. Authors need to keep their whole cast in their head and keep them on the rails well enough that there aren't any unexpected crashes. The creators on the server generally don't bother with this. I haven't gone out of my way to peel back the curtains of the server's writing process -- curtains can hide horrors, I don't touch curtains until I'm ready to flee -- but I have the impression that pivotal characters in pivotal scenes have beats to hit and maybe some scripted lines. Meanwhile, the rest of the players seem to be set loose to do whatever fits their concept of their character, with only minimal guardrails in place to prevent an accidental derailment of the core plot of the day. Nobody looks like a cardboard cutout who is just there to play Shocked Man #3. Even players who are not deeply invested in the roleplay have comprehensible motives, because they seem to mostly be there to just play some goddamn Minecraft. Hey, that's a game I've played! They want to build a nice house and maybe find some netherite -- I know what that feels like!

No viewer can follow all of the uncurated knot of plotlines that make up the dsmp. But I find it so satisfying that any thread I choose to pull on is likely to reveal an earnest line of character motivation. When I complete a novel and want to know more about a character, the best I can hope for is that the author happened to have the same thought and is willing to act on it. When I finished watching the Blueberry TV cut of Doomsday and wondered what the fuck Ranboo's deal was, I was able to dig up VODs and see it all first hand. Plenty of plotlines are cut short and plenty of perspectives have been deleted, but on some level these flaws in basic storytelling are a rarely explored reflection of the real world. Because history is not a streamlined novel. No history book can fully encapsulate the events it portrays, but we know that every character contained within it has their own perspective, and that every thread in the knot can be pulled on further if we're just lucky enough to have not lost the information to time.

There are, of course, a ridiculous number of downsides to this approach to storytelling. But, since this is my first time encountering this specific type of narrative, to me they are new and interesting downsides. Flaws that haven't yet dug grooves into my patience. I'm quite eager to see artists build on this example, wrestle with those flaws, and either find solutions or find some other approach that's even better.

I've somehow rambled for 6 paragraphs and barely touched on any specific character and story beats, but I better cut myself off here for now. If you want more of a rundown of notable design choices, I could certainly be baited into more of that lol.