#i struggled so much with this piece tho i kinda dont like it

[thewisestdino]

Et Tu Brute?

[bumbleblurr]

listen I think bulkhead is far MORE Boyfriend Material than most of the tfa cast but I doubt the majority of the fandom is ready for that conversation

[ophexis]

I am alive! After a long delay (forced to work in office for 2 weeks killed me), here's my post on the chosen dnd cookbook recipe!!! lmao

I chose to make the Vedbread! They're mushroom rolls with cheese. Not exactly a meal by themselves, but I just really wanted to try them so bad lmao

The recipe calls for a different kind of mushroom but they say you can use shiitake, so that's what I went for. I had to buy a lot of shiitake sdfsg

Anyway, let us begin!

First thing to do is to dice the mushroom. I unfortunately don't have a food processor yet so I had to do it by hand. It...took a while.You cook the mushroom with salt and butter until the moisture is gone and they're all nice and grilled. You also dice some shallots and cook them with! And finally when this is all cooked you remove from the heat and add parmesan and fresh thyme. I'll admit I didn't feel like spending the extra money for fresh parmesan so I just used the cheap stuff I had in my fridge, which I admit probably changed the flavor but it was still tasty so wtv!

While this is cooking and smelling delicious you prep the dough. Shred some gruyère and all that.

The shredded cheese goes directly into the dough! It's a chunky dough. You have to knead it just enough thats its smooth and incorporated. Then you have to spread it in a rectangle, which was somewhat challenging due to my lack of tools and preparation lmao. Ignore the ball of saran wrap I dont wanna talk about it

Then you spread the mushroom mixture all over this nice rectangle!

Struggle number 2, rolling it up in an even tube! Mine was not even at all but it was a tube! Then you have to try and cut it into equal pieces. Mine were....not equal pieces but the show much go on! They tell you to trim off and discard the ends but since there's no eggs in the dough I just ate it. Which legally I can't recommend bc raw flour can also be bad for you (more likely to, iirc) so do as I say, not as I do!

FINALLY you place them side-up on a baking sheet and brush them with an egg wash! And then you pop them in the oven!!! And then you take them out and be in awe and the delicious rolls you have just created!!

These were super good! And I'm saying as someone who generally doesn't like cooked mushrooms, but I've been making an effort with shiitake lol. If you like the general flavor of shiitake but don't really like the texture of cooked mushrooms, I really liked these bc the mushrooms are minced really small! The cheese is also really good. They kept SUPER well at room temp in an airtight container and they reheat in the oven really quickly and for the entire week that I've eaten them they tasted always fresh after a little trip in the oven. This was definitely a nat20 on recipe choice!

Those of you who were looking forward to this I apologize for the time it took but I changed projects at work and it's been a nightmare lmao. I'll probably be stuck in office for a week and a half soon again so I probably won't do the next poll within that time, but hopefully soon. I might do a noodle recipe from one of the star wars cookbooks tho just cuz i feel like it. I haven't actually cooked a whole lot lately bc of work :'D So I kinda miss it. Anyway I hope that was mildly entertaining, and get out there and make yerself any kind of bread rolls bc everybody deserves breadrolls. (Cough cough check out misohungrie's video if you want the precise recipe cough cough)

[spacedlexi]

i always wondered if you ever read any violentine/twg fanfiction and if you have could you tell us your favorites? Or what tropes would you like to read? Idk I just really like this ship and since there was so little content I could find so i read a lot of shit 💀 but I hold a special care for it since it was one of the first fandoms I entered and finding out Clem was bi meant a lot to me cause you don't see a lot of bi representation that isn't like "I like fucking anything that moves🤩(Yea Im looking at you Elite)”.

So yeah I'd like to hear you thought of fanfiction and stuff.

i tried once or twice but didnt get farther than the first chapter or so on the few i tried 😔 i kinda for the most part stopped reading fic after high school to be fair, so im very particular about what i Do read when it comes to fic now. and on ao3 at least since im afraid of wattpad there really hasnt been anything that held my attention (at least in the past. like i said i havent tried looking in a couple years so who knows). i need plot/character development heavy stuff that i can really sink my teeth into and i didnt really find much of that... and the "tropes" i like are more determined by which characters im applying them to so i dont always like the same ones across the board

someone asked me this question a while ago and i asked for any fic recs at the time but i only got like.. one? im really not sure what the state of twdg fic is like honestly

DESPITE all that tho im still slowly slowly SLOWLY meticulously steadily working on my own oneshot that i WILL FINISH I SWEAR its over 20 pages currently and only like 2/3? done?? and half edited BUT it IS outlined so..... i just have to.. you know..... actually Finish it....

i posted some snippets from it a while ago (HERE) but here's a couple longer ones since ive written about 10 more pages (plus like 5 in outlines) since then. im Really particular about the flow of my writing which is like.. the main reason why i take so long to write.. gotta fix it until it Feels Right

A comfortable silence seemed to settle over them then. The wind outside the shack still blew harshly, whistling against the broken windows. But as the girls sat by the warm glow of the fire, and listened to the crackling of the burning logs, it was enough to melt their tension. At least a bit.

The silence continued until the fire began to dwindle with the last of the logs. "We're going to have to start burning those..." Clementine said as she looked at the loose boards they had kicked aside earlier.

"I got it," Violet said as she stood, not even giving Clementine a chance to move. As she grabbed a board and kicked hard at its center, trying to break it in two, Clementine twisted her mouth. Not at the other girl, but at herself. She was still getting used to her new limitations, and it frustrated her knowing there were just certain things that she couldn't or struggled to do now.

The boards had been sturdy once, but due to age and exposure, they had eroded enough that Violet was able to break them with relative ease. She threw a couple of the pieces on the fire and set the rest by the hearth as she returned to where she had been at Clementine's side. She gave her a soft, reassuring smile as the fire came back to life, and Clementine gave a soft smile in return, breaking her from her thoughts, if only momentarily.

She heaved a sigh as her eyes were drawn back to the missing portion of her left leg. She thought about the trek awaiting them in the morning, and her mouth twisted again. "Ugh, walking through all of that snow is gonna fuck up my leg..."

The soft smile on Violet's face became mischievous. "Don't worry, I can just carry you instead." She said it nonchalantly, but the fluttering in her chest betrayed her.

Clementine quirked her eyebrow in response to the bold statement, smiling skeptically as she laughed "Uh, aha, yeah right."

"What, don't think I can?" Violet responded, the look on her face unbothered by the other girls reaction. "Brody was the one who carried you to the school after you crashed and I'm, like, at least as strong as Brody was."

Clementine's face dropped at the revelation. "Wait-... Brody brought us back?"

"Uh..." Violet hesitated at the change in Clementine's voice. "Yeah... Her and Marlon. She was the only one he would ever take outside the safe zone." She explained, and as an aside to herself said "Huh, guess it makes sense now..."

The playful atmosphere had now quickly disappeared, only to be replaced with a quiet, somber one. In the short time Clementine had to get to know Brody, she felt they had started to become friends. However, there weren’t many good memories made between them, and so Clementine more easily remembered the bad ones.

She could still remember that stormy night in the cellar clearly, could remember the sounds of Brody's inhuman screeching. The hot blood on her hands as she fought against the turned girl for her life. The guilt sinking in her chest like a black hole as she looked over what she had done. What she had to do. Clementine mourned her in the way she mourned everyone else she had lost. And it never got any easier.

Violet watched Clementine as she internally fought through her feelings, and once again regretted her words. She didn't want to think about Brody, either. And felt guilty over unintentionally bringing those awful memories to the surface. Clementine told them what Marlon had done that night, yet never talked about what happened after. But Violet had helped the others with the bodies, had seen what Clementine was forced to do. She remembered the sight clearly, as clearly as she remembered feeling that Marlon got what he deserved.

--

"Maybe we should try to get some sleep before it gets cold in here..." Clementine suggested tentatively.

Violet shifted, stretching her arms out in front of her, catching the last of the heat from the hearth on her fingers. "We should use the bed, then. It'll at least be better than the floor. Plus, there's a blanket."

Violet stood up then, stretching her legs as Clementine looked up at her. "Are you sure that thing isn't completely rotted?"

"It should be okay. We only brought it in here a little over a year ago."

"'We'? Why?"

"Uh-" Violet started at that, averting her eyes. "Um... Minnie and I... we kinda... used to hang out here..."

"Oh..." Clementine wasn't sure what to say to that, but it did confirm her suspicions. So instead, she relented. "Okay."

But she hesitated, looking between her leg and her prosthetic where it still sat propped against the side of the fireplace. "Hmm..." Should she put it back on? The bed wasn't far...

"Here," Violet reached her hand out, noticing the hesitation, "let me help you."

Clementine eyed the outstretched hand, considering her options, and once again twisted her mouth at her new limitations. She kind of hated this. She had done everything on her own for so long, and now...

"C'mon, it's okay."

She looked back and forth between Violet's face and outstretched hand a few times before finally relenting. "...Fine." She really didn't want to lace up her prosthetic just to immediately take it off again.

Clementine took her hand, and Violet helped pull her up to stand. They leaned close as she found her balance, gripping tightly at Violet's shoulder with her free hand. It only took a short moment, and once Clementine stabled herself, her eyes locked with Violet's. They both started a bit when they noticed how close they had become, face to face.

"Aha. Um, you good?" Violet asked, slightly flushed.

"Yeah," Clementine said, hiding her blush better than the other girl. "Thanks."

[this-should-do]

absolutely o7

so jill is a character i made based on 2 guards gordon meets during the rescas so that she takes the place of them voth, the first being the guard he meets in the black mesa interpretation of on a rail that ends up dying on the ascent of the silo and becuz i decided that that guard is a turning point in my gordons arc of not feeling like he can rely on others to survive, i also had her be the guard that you see in blast pit, so that gordon has time to bond with her and really feel reliant on her as a co panion so that when the rug pull happens it really off sets him.

her personality is based on the cop lady that runs the hospital tbat beth is at in the walking dead if you know that show, very no nonsense, has to play up her masculineness in order to keep control of her dpace within the very man dominated populace of black mesa secutiry, even tho shes not really masc, which is part of her internal conflict pre rescas, during the rescas she goes thru a bit of a derangement arc, where she gets more and more fucked up when its time for foghting, going off the rails during combat at her own detriment and then completely reverting to her kinda rough but personable personality when the fighting stops, in a very a/b fashion so that its jarring to see it happen

and then theres richie, my dearest richie, ive talked quite a bit about him :3 he is a mycologist that works in the advanced biolabs, hes very anxious and struggles socially and he tends to slend a lot of time alone working on his model toys that he builds hes also roommates with gordon (cuz i llayed the decay pc port mod and thought it was canon that gordon dorms witha guy clled montague but alas nkt canon but its too late and i dont want to lose that bit of lore)

he also struggles with his weight alot and has so much guilt and pain over it, and its prevented him from being able to join the excursion teams in xen, over his life (as he does make it out of the rescas alive at the cost of like all his friends) he does end up losing weight cuz of malnourishment inder the ckmbine both in the cities and outside them (he lives out side the cities eventually cuz he ran away on a train stop to "ask for his ticket" cuz he didnt wanna die and hes soso scared all the time, tha kfully hes not alone otherwise he very much wouldve died) and feels "better" but not really he just feels sicka nd hungry, eventually after the fall of the ckmbine he gains bakc a healthy amount of weight for him and hes still fat in the end but hes made peace with that becuz its just how his body works and being fat means that hes eatimg well and is safe which is more jmportant than thinness

the person he relies on post combine is val, an oc of my buddy @thatforestprince and u cna absolutely go ask him about val :3, and the two of them end up getti g u healthily dependent on the other cuz essentually theyre all the other has cuz all the places they try to settle down in keep getting destroyed, their relationship is completely platonic but to others it appears very ambiguous amd its v fun i think

richie funfact is also the guy who let a chumtoad get loose, which ends up being the one that barney has :) its a fun piece of lore that shows up in the fic im working on about richie, one day ill get it done lol

he also has a lot of catholic guilt and internalized shit going on, but if he were free of that, hed very much dress gender nonconforming, but as of the present, bro is concerned with appearing like a man becuz hes a man,

[particular-one]

HIIIIHIII Could i request a matchup .....? Enstars, twst and hypmic pls ...!!!

name is kitten or 🐏 emoji! i preferably dont use pronouns but she/her it/its are ok. i have no romantic preference in terms of fictional characters hahaaa.

my mbti is INTP, tho i tend to be the most "extroverted" one if placed in a room with other introverts. im also a 8w9 + virgo if that helps. also AB blood type though i dont see many people who believe in that stuff on here.

uhmmmm my personality. im pretty sociable for an introvert, but can get burnt out super quickly IRL (but i can talk for hours over text). due to the autism i cant express myself IRL but i make up for it a lot through the internet by being uhhh a real character online.

im like a bimbo with autistm and ADHD basically, airheaded cutesy girly, bad at filtering myself so i can definitely be rude/mean asf .. super bad attention span.. always with a friend. i Can like get carried away and get very mean to people im not friends with. overall im very temperamental and ive always been like "pretty girl but comes off rude/fake but shes also the class clown kinda". since humor just comes naturally to me kinda.

hobbies include: arts (drawing, making art dolls, sewing, designing outfits/costumes, fashion, ect). i used to do dancing and track running but had to stop due to health complications (im super low energy and cant be as active as most ppl). I LOVE idols so much too.

What i look in a partnerrr?? Uhh nobody shorted than me (162cm) just cuz i cant see them romantically no matter how hard i try. anything is ok honestly as long as I can talk to them for ages and theyre not too loud/chaotic. overall want someone to be as equally as down bad as i am with them for me (if not more haha)

misc ... uhh my favorite love language is acts of service. i dont have to force myself to do anything i struggle with like putting thoughts into words or trying to act affectionate (tho i do get cuteness aggression). i love recieving words of affirmation lmao i need the reminding that they do love me !!!!.

i lovee cats, BOBA i kind of have an addiction to it. cute stuff cute ppl ect... i dont rlly like public affection (its cringe asf seeing couples act lovey dovey in public Sory Im not doing that).

I WROTE SO MUCH SORRY i didnt even notice Please forgive me. uhh last bit of trivia umm. if i were half-animal id have bunny ears and a tail... or id be a deer. THATS IT OK SORRY.

hi kitten! rrararararraa a hypmic AND enstars request?? im so excited :> and don't worry about rambling, it gives me a better idea on who i can match you with! hope you like them!

ENSEMBLE STARS ---- SHU ITSUKI

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ shu's first meeting with you was not actually the first time he's seen you. your handiwork with fashion had piqued his interest for the longest time, but he never actually knew that it was you behind those pieces. so imagine his surprise when he finds out that the genius behind the designs was in fact, you! though shu came off as fussy at first, especially since he wanted to get close to you to observe how you perfected your designs, he gradually found himself enjoying your company more and more. when he finds out about your interest in idols, this amuses him greatly, considering he is one. he'd be the last to admit he likes you, but his behavior ends up changing for the better when he's around you. as a partner, shu can be a bit extravagant with the way he shows love, but he always remembers to keep it in private to respect your preference. he's a perfectionist, so he likes to plan out your activities together down to the tiniest detail, but that's because he wants you to have the best time. shu can be rather straightforward with his words as he doesn't beat around the bush — he doesn't have a filter at times either — but everything he says about you, he truly means them. shu likes admiring you while you're busy at work (he says he's doing it because he wants to see how you do things but secretly it's because he likes watching you do something you're passionate about) but there are days where the both of you would be in the same room working on your respective designs together! he asks for your inputs and vice versa, it's usually the most fun he has.

TWISTED WONDERLAND ---- JAMIL VIPER

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ jamil was not your biggest fan when you first met — if he were being honest, you almost reminded him of kalim, and having another kalim was never good. still, you often get paired in tasks together that he had to get to know you eventually, and was he wrong about not liking you. though it took him quite a while to warm up to the idea of being in your company, he actually found himself looking forward to talking with you. surprise surprise, jamil's definitely the type of "he fell harder" in this situation. as a partner, jamil is most definitely not the publicly affectionate type. though it might seem he's keeping your relationship lowkey, it's mainly because he didn't want people (read: kalim) to make the biggest fuss about it. though he doesn't take you out that often, he's very loving and caring in private. though jamil never enjoyed the idea of serving someone, with you it was different. he'd find himself enjoying to cook your favorite food, help you out in your tasks without a word, and to make you feel as comfortable as possible. character development for him, tbh. when you tell him of your craving for boba, watch this man continuously try and succeed to making boba tea tailored to your preference.

HYPNOSIS MIC ---- NEMU AOHITSUGI

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ nemu actually met you through a chance encounter in a mock rap battle during the tdd era as audience members. it was your personality that drew her in, but she was actually surprised by how blunt you were, but if she were being honest, your humor makes her laugh a lot. your relationship means the world to her, especially since she made sure that samatoki didn't interfere as much as possible. she loves her brother, but he can get carried away when it comes to her. nemu's definitely the one who ended up liking you first, but she's unsure on how to express this to you. as a partner, nemu is very, very sweet. she's scared of messing anything up, so she carefully plans everything in advance. when she finds out that you like cats, she actually comes forward with the idea of adopting a cat together with you! it became your bonding activity, with two of nemu's favorites in the entire world: the cat and of course, you. she has your favorite boba order/s memorized and likes to surprise you with getting some. nemu's the encouraging type, so expect a lot of comforting words from her. she's also the type who likes bringing you out to shop, whether it's for your art materials or for clothes, nemu likes hearing your inputs on the items you buy (or consider buying) and takes note of them so she can surprise you with them in the future.

[twomystdunstans]

"#And if we consider the canon (?) that St. Dunstans aka the Dying God from s2 is the one who originally created the Shaman and Rock" YO WAIT WHAT

OH. SHIT. AHAHA. OKAY. LMAO let me try and explain. this skdldjdkd AS A FOREWARNING THO!! this is all just. What I've pieced together from Daytrippers idk if it's TRUE ive never gotten conformation yknow!!!!!!! Okay! Anyway!

BASICALLY! Throughout Daytrippers, St. Dunstans seems to be talking about a past and constant conflict with a demon or devil of some sort? He refers to it a couple different times:

You keep away your Cloven Hooves! Your forked lying tongue!

I see you still, you creep around these parts. 

And I knew, there was nothing to you. A tale and a mask and a fright’ning story.

Decades of conflict,

I had kinda had my suspicions that this was the original Shaman, which were more or less confirmed in WHY, which is the episode right after Bru's "please, one more time" monolouge, when St. Dunstans says this specifically:

I remember what I saw. Your broken, beaten form, ‘Please’ you said, ‘Please, one kind mercy for an old enemy’

In reference to the Demon/Devil, which sounds a lot like the "Please, one more time," line that Kane says in K&F v the Town Council, and is repeated and emphasized in WHY.

Going through the transcripts, every time St. Dunstans refers to the Demon, it kinda parallels something Kane has said or done.

So the scared, the lonely, the lost, were within your grasp. It is too much, far too much.

This line is similar to when Kane says:

It’s all in me Brutus! it’s fractured and mirrored, and fractured and mirrored, but I kept it!

(^ its worth noting that when he says that line, Kane seems to b in pain/straining, and it seems like its too much magic for him, which is. A whole other thing BUT. Not the time) (also this isnt the only example but im trying to keep this as short as possible)

anyway! It seemed to me that this was implying that the Devil/Demon was the original Shaman, like I said before, which is only reinforced by the fact that his name is fucking. LUCIFER.

It's also reinforced with the fact that THIS:

Is literally on Kanes official tarot card!!! Its literally a Demon and a monk/saint arguing or fighting or something!

The final, seemingly obvious confirmation that Kane and this Demon or Devil were both incarnations of the Shaman was with this:

In the last monologue from St. Dunstans he says:

And on that Day, I decided, to be the Thorn forever in your palm

which is directly said/referenced again at the end of that episode when the Thornbush Princess dies:

KANE: She’s gone. There is a thorn in the palm in my hand. 

the Princess and everything else weird about Twomy is a manifestation of this dying God/saint, and leaving that thorn in Kane's hand was directly fulfilling St. Dunstans promise??

anyway!!!!! I dont think that St. Dunstans created the Shaman, but i DO think that he created the Rock.

In HOW, he seems to be talking to the Shaman, and almost sympathizing with it, and understanding that the Shaman/Demon won't be able to take on all of the magic/keep the universe balanced by himself.

In reference to this, and seemingly speaking TO the Shaman/Demon, St. Dunstans says:

But I didn’t wish for you to be alone, in your struggles. 

It's already been established that Kane and Feels need each other/depend on each other/are "the grounding point and the man without ground"

To ME, in MY OPINION, the "I didnt wish for you to be alone" line seems to imply that St. Dunstans either created and/or appointed someone else to be the Demon/Shaman's opposite, to help the Shaman, to be the Rock, yknow??? And thats where the original Shaman and Rock come from?

It also could be that St. Dunstan created the Rock to ground the Shamans powers, maybe in an attempt to weaken the Shaman?????? Idk

It's also interesting and worth noting that in the first season, Kane (the Shaman/Demon/Devil) accidentally kills Alice (the SUCCESSOR of St. Dunstans), however temporarily, in Wonderland.

To ME this kinda feels like the Shaman, not Kane, making an attempt to kill its tormentor/enemy, St. Dunstans, who at that point I think was using Alice as kind of a host?

Like Kane even seems confused and appalled when Alice appears to be dead, and I wonder if that was because of the Shaman acting on its own volition, and just using Kane as a vessel to get what it wanted for all these years y'know?

This is so incoherent and rambly I'm sorry please lemme know if you need me to clarify anything further. and ALSO AGAIN I COULD BE TOTALLY WRONG IDK JACK SHIT THIS IS JUST WHAT IVE KINDA PUT TOGETHER!!!!!

I'd really recommend reading the Daytrippers transcripts cause I'm sure there's stuff thats relevant to this that I also missed!!!

TL;DR: St. Dunstan, seemingly having been in an age old battle with an entity I THINK is the original Shaman, created the Rock to help the Shaman, in a moment of pity and sympathy.

[golden-astrum]

I’m obsessed w your art style omg!! If you don’t mind me asking how do you shade skin? I’ve always struggled w over shading but the way you did it in your most recent piece is beautiful

ahh thank you so much!! i can try to show you a little step by step on how i shade skin ;0 though keep in mind that my art style is not the most consistent in the world but no matter the art style i choose the process is always the same!

before i start though, it's important to note that i use clip studio paint as my main drawing software, so most of the brushes used will be available on the clip studio asset store. however, some brushes i used are made to mimic paint tool sai brushes, so i'll be showing my settings for both

(also this isn't really a tutorial--this is just how i personally do it!)

step 1: base colour

what i do first is choose a base colour. the simplest part LOL.

step 2: blush

next i like to pick a colour for the blush. the colour depends on the skin tone but in this specific example i went for a more orange-ish colour. i apply it on the cheeks, nose, eyelids, ears, and lips.

the brush i used is Mitch's Smooth Blending

this brush is the closest to the brush i used in paint tool sai 2, which is this one! the basic watercolour brush but slightly altered

step 3: shading pt.1

so here i just take a colour slightly darker than the one i used for the blush and kinda go over where i think the shadows would be? the brush i use helps a lot because i can go softer on some parts (top of eyelids) and harsher on others, so there are some variations

step 4: shading pt. 2

i take a cooler tone and softly go over some of the shadows w it?? dont rly know how to explain it but i started doing this once and havent looked back ever since LOL ... hope the visuals make sense tho

extra: lighting + overlays and stuff

if the skin looks too dull i slap an overlay later on top of my skin layer and add more colour to it ^_^ also i like adding some lights and stuff idk its my fav part tho

anyway thats it! its not the best example im sorry about that but i hope it was still interesting ^-^

[orbees]

2022 overview 

this year... where do i even Start with this year. it went by fast but also felt like an eternity. in terms of just Bullshit the universe threw my way, it was by far one of the roughest. struggled with literally Every aspect of life this year. but also the fact this Isnt the worst year of my life... i think ive come a long way w/ coping and i am proud of myself for hanging in there despite Everything 

and for all the shitty, awful things that happened, there was a lot of good stuff too. i finished my practicum, which sucked ass, but i also finished the first half of my internship which was HARD but went much better. its kinda Hard to put into words but i rly struggle a lot w/ feeling incapable of well... Anything, and this goes Beyond disability tho it certainly plays a role. its more like i just feel myself Inherently Inadequate, due to Personal Flaws. but time and time again, i prove myself wrong, and are able to do much more than i thought i could.

and at the same time i dont wanna make it seem like Grinding myself into a paste was a good thing. i shouldnt have to Be so resilient, but i can admire the strength i have in doing so. its like i often contend a lot w/ feeling like this World doesnt want someone like me. it often feels like i am trying to jam a square piece into a triangle shaped hole. its like the hole shouldnt be so hard to get thru to begin with, but i am proud of myself for Trying despite

a lot of growing pains this year, a lot of putting myself into new and uncomfortable situations. getting my first job basically thru my internship, leaving the house regularly, interacting with people Daily... i am The autistic hermit so adjusting to this was. Difficult in ways that word cant even begin to describe but i did it regardless.

i even have began taking steps to live More authentically. the Autism is a big force in my day to day, and i burn myself out trying to Mask so ive rly just wanted to start letting myself Be. i still have a hard time with this but ive taken some pretty big steps. i told my supervisor that i am autistic which i NEVER thought i’d be able to do, and i am still very very proud of myself for doing that. i want to be able to create a space where i dont feel the Need to hide so much of everything that i am and i feel like i was able to lay out a lot of the framework for making that possible. i am proud of myself for working so hard to create a better life for myself Despite everything trying to pull me down

in general ive just done A lot of work on myself this year. contended with a lot of personal truths. i gained a better sense of who i am, what i am, what i can do, and what i WANT to do. ive faced off against a lot of my demons this year, and still have plenty more fighting left to do, but i feel proud of the person i am becoming. i feel more complete & whole, and have a better understanding of what i am worth. i am excited about my growth going into 2023! its gonna be a wild year for me i just know it LOL

my resolutions:

1. read more

2. create more just in general

3. take my big scary exams 

4. graduate

5. learn how to drive >:(

6. in learning how to Juggle the everything i noticed i started isolating myself a bit and this is something i wanna Change

7. be kinder to myself

i also cant rly Find a way to work this into all i wrote above in a Pretty Way but i rly wanted to take a moment too to talk about my friends. i struggle a lot w/ feeling Alone, have my entire life, but i feel as if it is Getting better. like i have a better sense of who my people are, and where i belong <3 its hard to find the words that convey my sincerity without sounding trite but: ive received sm love and support this year, as i do every year ofc but with this year being So Hard for me, its really meant a lot. i am very thankful for my friends and love them a lot. thank u all sm for everything. here’s to a good 2023 i am manifesting this for all of us 😤😤😤

[mg549]

tagged by @graveyardrabbit 👍!

last song: mama by mcr <3

currently watching: nothing 😔✊idk its hard to get me to watch tv shows. oh i did jst remember like 2 years ago or sth i started watching Every X-Files Ever with a big excel sheet of all my opinions and shit. but its been hard to get thru bc the later seasons have not been very enjoyable and also ive been Busy with work n putting out consistent art n shit that its hard to justify sitting down and not doing anything for that long ig. ive also slowly been getting thru various slasher franchises&watching iconic horror movies since i love horror but havent watched a lot of the movies, &its easier for me to get thru an hour and a half of sth Complete than 45 mins of a Part of a larger story. the original scream is def the cream of the crop of what ive seen so far, meanwhile i watched the first saw last night and it was incredibly stupid and frustrating to watch. 9/11 rly took its toll on media

currently reading: 😶 even harder than videos bc i absolutely cannot multitask while reading. recently finished frankenstein (which i started literally almost 3 years prior (its not that long or difficult i jst struggle to justify spending time on things that i dont consider “work” in my brain) (also it was p good but you could literally cut out the second part and the story would benefit imo it jst rly slogs down the pace and axes any tension for a lot of details that could be conveyed much quicker if they were explained in less detail)) and the communist manifesto (didnt take nearly as long bc its like pamphlet length gbdkjd) edit everyone go read izroulia actually a new series came out today&i haven't been able to read it yet but its been keeping me going fr i love how earnest it is in being itself its such a good piece of safe media for me if that makes sense

current obsession: ughhhhhhhhh ive been in between obsessions for a lil bit i feel like. idk this is sth i struggle w/ bc the last thing i felt fully like Enveloped in was the adventure zone (orig. arc) which ended. 5 years ago. lemon demon&lemonville came shortly after but it was hard to feel it was on the same scale bc it was actively in creation as i was there and associated #Drama also lessened its grip faster than it would’ve had it been like an existing show or sth. plus theres less ppl obvs. had a brief good omens phase but it burned out pretty quick bc i had so thoroughly dissected it very quickly. &since then ive kind of jst been cycling between existing interests (monster high/fashion dolls in general, mercreatures, creepypasta/slenderman/horror in general) plus the occasional mcr blast but it doesnt quite Grip the same bc there arent like Characters i can rotate. the best ive gotten is obsessing over my own ocverses but its not the same.... idk i rly rly Want to feel the Passion that fandom brings but none of the media thats blown up interests me enough to consider consuming the media or i take a peak&dont like it cause im picky...idk my fundamental problem is that im picky and hard to please bc i can deconstruct things so easily to see its Bones and if a story is more surface level and straightforward and easy to understand its hard for me to keep my attention on it at the stage of my life im in. that being said aquamarine is my fave movie tho so. but then again i think ppl jst write it off cause its a chick flick. idk recommend me things but dont be surprised if its not my vibe ig

ummmmmmmmmmm idk who to tag u can do this if u want to&say i tagged u but i think i was kinda a bummer w/ these answers so 😔✊

[eroticcannibal]

Hey Risu I think ud have some sound advice about this... I want to learn to draw n be an artist (digitally) but my brain screams when I try cos I'm new n not good at all and idk how to counteract the brain so I can draw shitty things until I get good.... It's hard to have fun when my brain is saying I'm shit and should quit :( Any advice? (I love ur art on ur art blog BTW... Ur art is good but like, not what I'm used to seeing and it's kinda nice to see how a hobby artist art looks cos I'm so used to more professional artists who take comms on twitter)

I was thinking of doing some of my shitty art to song lyrics (they're some of my fav, I draw my ocs in some sort of pose and then slap the lyrics on top in fancy font text or write it on my drawing tablet by hand) - and just don't care how bad it looks but I'm unsure if I can get my brain to not scream at me for not being enough long enough to do it :(

Any advice would be nice <3 p.s. My art is so bad it's like a kid trying to draw (derogatory but only at me) n I don't really have anyone in my life for support cos if it's not good they don't care :/// (well I have one friend, he's also a hobbyist as well, rarely draws cos he has the same issue of not being good and perfect type deal)

Oh hey its how I feel about my art 24/7 (and how most artists do!) So I will run u through all the things I find helpful

Listen. Brains are little bitches, ok? They LIE. They are MEAN. You need to practice telling ur brain to shut up. Like "hey, thats not fucking nice, I'm not listening to u until u have something helpful to say!" And its hard, cus its you, but with practice it gets easier to ignore ur brain being on one. Treat it like a toddler who is kicking off and calling u mean names cus u won't give it chocolate. "Thats nice dear im busy with my art". Like u gotta remember, for anyone trying to get started with art, it looks like a kid trying to draw because that's when most people stopped drawing. Same with any other skill u stop in childhood. My kid struggled so much with handwriting due to being ND that it switched to typing and guess what? Still has the handwriting u would expect from a small child. Because it stopped writing as a small child. I have the coordination with running and throwing of a young kid cus thats when I stopped doing sports. People who stop reading books young will find it harder to read books for an older audience. U do those kiddy drawings, do lots of them, you WILL get better.

Another thing. Heres a secret. For every artist, the majority of what they produce is shit. No really, all of them. Not just the crap you have to produce to git gud, but like, every amazing piece of art you have seen has like at least 5 fucked up sketches that got scrapped. Whole bits of painting that got covered up. All art is made up of mistakes and fuck ups. And even if u are sat there going wow this is perfect! The artist is DYING because they can see a hundred little mistakes that u cant. Art is all about perspective and honestly the perspective of the artist is the worst one. We are too familiar with the details to see our art for what it really is.

The thing that helped me most tho was when I went to art museums in Paris. I saw so much "good" art and im like. OK. This is technically good I guess? But it was kinda meh. The museum of modern art was the most disappointing cus, and listen I stan modern art ok there was some good shit in there, but there was a fucking rack of skis. Someone gone bought some skis and put them away and thats art. Hello? Oh someone painted some squares and came up with some deep meaning and im meant to be impressed. And then I go outside for a fag and I open tumblr and see some crappy 2 minute MSpaint vent art and u know what? It made me fucking feel. It make me feel like NOTHING in that museum had. Who is fucking deciding what "good" art is? I dont remember being consulted! I dont think I fucking agree that "good" art is good! I think shit art is good! Some fucking ship art scribbles has more meaning for me than the fucking mona Lisa, yknow?

And then I went to an exhibit of Picasso's sketches and doodles. Napkins with little scribbles on and shit. And they were so normal. Nothing impressive. And it was wonderful. I've done better sketches! I promise u u have done better than some of that stuff. Honestly so many artists aren't even "better", they're just successful. And idk but I think success is a poor way to measure arts worth.

There is a genuine magic to a hobby artist just. Doodling what makes them happy. Not for money, not for fame, not for skill, just because they want to. Art for arts sake, yknow?

Also I understand it can be very hard to share ur work but I would encourage u to do so with ppl u trust to give u fair feedback. Feel free to send me what u make I will be more than happy to tell u how great it is

[nudibranchpropaganda]

Talk about your OCs!!!!!!!!!!

i desperately wanted to respond to this immediately but i had a physiology exam this morning :(( have my post exam sleep deprived caffeine induced ramblings mwah <3

there's 3 of them rn and i love them all to pieces i have gone into wayyyyyy too much detail under the read more

so there's my demon baby who currently has no name. legit just The Demon in my brain. they started as a reader insert but i genuinely fell in love with them and am probs gonna keep adding to that au for a while (keep an eye out if u liked it)

Personally i see them as genderfluid - they can shape shift at will, but tend to lean towards mma/wrestler builds (1000000% can and will fuck u standing up) and charcoal grey skin (to blend in w the smog that fills their home skies).

physical characteristics? definitely has bat wings. love thin, membranous, and slightly translucent wings. they generally have claws and sharp teeth, a tail cause its fun to whip around and provides a nice counterweight + extra arm to grab things. they change the style of their horns like some ppl change their hair colour, a personal fav are ones either like a ram's or greater kudus's, but honestly if u like a different kind they've probably worn them for a bit for sure. tall and broad no matter what. this bastard is BIG and will use it to their advantage.

they feed off emotions, there's a whole taste menu thing i could get into, but generally they feed on fear cause its most readily available. their fav is happiness. just pure joy. tastes like bubbly sunshine and keeps them satiated for weeks. they can also amplify emotions, but can't create them if they aren't already there. summoned in the stereotypical way: fire, blood, latin chant (soap was just fuckin around for a laugh). no aversion to generic holy items, they aren't evil just another species. bright light will fuck them up tho cause they are nocturnal and have "evolved" for life in the darker hours.

can be mean. can be very very mean. knows where to hit to make it hurt, will absolutely be a little cruel on occasion when hurt by something. can also be very very warm, reading emotions makes it easy for them to give ppl what they need. generally is pretty sweet though, kinda like a creme brulee - brittle hard outside that you gotta crack to get to the soft sweet inside.

when i wanna get into their headspace i listen to maneater by the blue eyed blondes, gimme by she keeps bees (thnx for the rec on that one), keep it down by migrant motel, and i like the way you die boy by black honey. the pintrest board that i dump all the vibes in

the last one is still sorta in the work shopping phase. they're a cod oc, early to mid 30s again. i know their call sign is Jaws bc they tore someones throat out with their teeth when they got pinned down during a mission. they're head hunted by laswell after the 141 is a known force for their recon and undercover work. they get pretty close to gaz and soap, but struggle initially to break into the group cause the boys are such a well oiled machine at this point and don't really want to disrupt the status quo.

there's also the protag of my other cod fic (once again i have yet to name her). she's bi, in her mid 30s, and moved out to the edge of the forest after her last long term relationship ended (have yet to decide whether it was divorce or death). she's definitely a recluse, has a little bit of a hobby farm garden going (hugelkultur ftw), and grew up on stories about how the woods used to eat people (nova scotian; apalachian for sure).

BAD relationship w/her mother. they dont speak anymore. kind enough to her neighbours, but everyone kinda thinks shes a little strange, a little offputting (same girl). big on enjoying the little moments with the people she loves, sitting on the porch and drinking tea together kinda life.

she's honestly super special to me and i love her so much. abandoned and cranky but forced to confront that physical manifestation of grief and rage inside her when she gets attacked in the home she used to share w/her wife. and then soap? just kinda working his way into her life and very quickly getting close to her and being kind and gentle and reaching out a hand for her? idk if that was how it came out but that was what i was going for :)

anyways i listened to black hole by Griff on repeat when writing that fic, also kiss with a fist by florence and the machine. alrighty aphrodite by peach pit, lost without by shane guerrette, ghosts and monsters by saint chaos, and west virginia by the builders and the butchers were some more songs that made the writing playlist for her. pintrest board if ur interested :)

they had some trouble with their last unit too, butting heads with a shitty CO/team mate (tbd). this 100% made it into their rap sheet and gave them a bit of a rep as a trouble maker, they chose to lean into it a bit though and cause some problems on purpose for assholes. they are pretty standoffish at the start, can take a while to warm up to people. not super chatty, but enjoys spending time w/friends and will just chill and listen. loyal to a fault, but not to many ppl (eventually the 141, las, a few old team mates).

they aren't close with their family, parents passed in a car accident while they were on deployment and their sister feels like they abandoned her for the military (give an oc a happy backstory challenge has been failed). playing around with the idea of them faking their death and leaving their old team behind to go undercover at one point (the angst of being recognized by someone who thought they were dead and accidentally burning that bridge tho)

disco! in the panic room by bug hunter, hey child by the x ambassadors, choke by i dont know how but they found me, bury me face down by grandson, aint lookin by the wild feathers if i end up writing them w/one of the 141. a pintrest boards 4 u to browse :)

wow that got really long, thanks for sticking with it!! im sure i'll start posting a little more about all of them as i flesh them out, once i get through the paper and presentation i have for a couple of my classes next week im gonna have wayyyyy more time to write and explore them :))))))))

[pathos-p]

"Weirdly Specific Artist Ask Game" but i got tagged in it so i am gonna answer all of them 'cause theyre fun

questions by @/i-like-eyes

thanks for the tag @king-chook!! ^^

1. Art programs you have but don't use

i thiiink i have a license for clip studio paint that came with my old wacom tablet but i never rly used it. also used to have krita installed for the longest time but just always felt off to me idk why. don't currently have it installed anymore tho

2. Is it easier to draw someone facing left or right (or forward even)

to their right is a bit easier i think. not smth i consciously notice, mostly i'm just thinking abt when im doodling on the margins of stuff they usually are looking to the left of the page

3. What ideas come from when you were little

uhhh idk tbh, i dont think much of my art draws from that

4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw

cityscapes !!! i love cities they r so pretty and cool looking but goddamn theyre so hard to draw

5. Estimate of how much of your art you post online vs. the art you keep for yourself

80-20? i post everything that i finish. basically the only stuff that doesnt get posted is sketches i give up on

6. Anything that might inspire you subconsciously (i.e. this horse wasn't supposed to look like the Last Unicorn but I see it)

hmmmm not that i can think of rn...

7. A medium of art you don't work in but appreciate

watercolour !! i've tried it a few times and Struggled but i love seeing ppl's work in it

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in

so many animatics ..................... also many comic ideas ..................... i get so many ideas that i just never start on or start and only do a little before losing the hyperfocus/fixation and just Cannot continue them. it sucks

9. What are your file name conventions

usually the character name, maybe a bit of description of what theyre doing... idk not much of a convention to it

10. Favorite piece of clothing to draw

hmm i like jackets :)

11. Do you listen to anything while drawing? If so, what

yes, usually music. sometimes random youtube videos like stream highlights or video essays.

12. Easiest part of body to draw

uhhh hair? maybe idk. hard question bc it varied a lot depending on what kinda style and just. sometimes smth is hard in a particular drawing then easy later idk

13. A creator who you admire but whose work isn't your thing

i cant think of anything i will edit it in if i think of anyone

14. Any favorite motifs

in my drawings i dont feel like i use any much. mostly i pull motifs from whatever im doing fanart of lol. in music, i like religious motifs (but not like. ones abt christ or bible stories, rather heaven, hell, god/divinity, angels)

15. *Where* do you draw (don't drop your ip address this just means do you doodle at a park or smth)

at home pretty much exclusively. in bed lol

16. Something you are good at but don't really have fun doing

idk i feel like the stuff im better at is the stuff i like bc i practice it more for fun lol

17. Do you eat/drink when drawing? if so, what

not usually

18. An estimate of how much art supplies you've broken

surprisingly little. mostly bc i do more digital art lol

19. Favorite inanimate objects to draw (food, nature, etc.)

weapons and nature. especially ice for nature

20. Something everyone else finds hard to draw but you enjoy

i cant think of anything ill add it if i do

21. Art styles nothing like your own but you like anyways

i love rougher styles, like ones with a lot of visible brushstrokes and bold lines and shit. so cool. idk how to make it look good lol i dont have the confidence in my lines for it

22. What physical exercises do you do before drawing, if any

none... probably i should change that

23. Do you use different layer modes

yeah, often i use a multiple layer for shading then a variety to colour adjust at the end

24. Do your references include stock images

sometimes

25. Something your art has been compared to that you were NOT inspired by

cant think of any

26. What's a piece that got a wildly different interpretation from what you intended

there was this poem i wrote about capitalism and how shit it is and someone thought it was abt interpersonal relationships/smth along the lines of a breakup. i rly didnt mind it tho i thought it was cool bc the emotion was not far off, the sense of betrayal and abandonment. just a very very different subject

27. Do you warm up before getting to the good stuff? If so, what is it you draw to warm up with

no lol

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines)

i ran a zine (digital only) for the dimension 20 zine jam! and also made art+writing for others in that :D also was part of a polygon yt fanzine a while back

29. Media you love, but doesn't inspire you artistically

spider-man (not the MCU, mostly tasm and a few of the comics)

30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated

IS IT BAD TO SAY A PIECE THAT GOT QUITE A BIT OF POSITIVE ATTENTION ?? maybe

i rly like the cj comic i did i am genuinely so goddamn happy with the result so . even tho it did very well by the standards for the fandom its for and my current follower base it is underrated

alternatively this one https://www.tumblr.com/pathos-p/704380503765221377/tridential-sovereignty?source=share bc it didnt get all that much attention on any social media site but i think its cool !!

(mostly only using recent ones bc i dont wanna dig back further esp onto my old twt acct, too much work lol)

[nottheweirdest]

hello! im also an author (tho i struggle to write A LOT of the time), and LOVE your work! i think i've read pretty much all of your fanfic (especially the sonadow pieces), but i have to say Clean Slate is the one i absolutely fell in love with. your writing is astounding, and it captures me with every word. your characterization is also amazing, and the plotline just- it works so well! take your time on it tho, dont rush yourself! youre just as important as the art you create <3 much love!

Howdy there!! Omg, I feel that struggle though. Especially over the past few months. Life got crazy, lots of change, and mental health kinda took a nose dive, so the words have come a lot slower than they used to 😭. I hope it gets easier for the both of us!! 💞 Aw heck, thank you. 🥺 That's so kind of you to say, and means a ton, especially right now! Clean Slate has been a labor of love to be sure. It's my first big multichapter and I've been blown away by the support the fic has received. I'm so grateful to you and others who've found the story engaging and entertaining because you've kept me pushing through on this story, even when things have been hard (like right now lol). You really are so sweet, thank you. 💖 I'm taking steps to try and do better about taking care of myself, so fingers crossed I'll be back at full force sometime soon. In the meantime, I am working on the last chapter of Clean Slate. Though.. the more I type the more I'm like... maybe I should split this up into two approx. 4k chapters and post them at the same time, so I might do that. I've got about 5k words down at the moment and counting!

What's your fav fanfic of mine?

[happi-meals]

First Meal/breakfast after chores and before work! Hard fried egg, pan fried Beyond Meat vegan bratwrust, leftover white rice and peas.

Made a juice drink, too!

This one was my 3rd attempt at homemade smoothies using my new, thrifted blender. I finally got some fresh ginger Thursday since my first attempt was missing it (and my second attempt was a fluke fr lol. I'll post abt it later). Had great flavor, but I'm currently struggling to get a thick, smoothie texture or even a slushie texture bc i lack ice and also thickening agents. I have unsweetened almond yogurt, but its not viscous enough.

Still a great flavor and keeps me regular. So itll be a regular on my menu!

I went a while without eggs for superstitious and dietary reasons (went vegan several yrs ago for about 6 yrs). But Ive been cooking eggs ocassionally for regulars at my job and tbh they do be lookin good. Also I've been supplementing my diet with local meals and ingredients to put my values to practice and I got a good deal for backyard eggs ($4 for a dozen). So I had 6 left and decided to just make one for my meal since the egg flavors would compliment the umami of the brat and soy sauce that I put in the rice.

It was rlly good and I'll def add this to my menu as well, esp when there are sales for the vegan brats at the grocer (I like that theyre sold in the meat isle btw lol).

I didnt get a pic of the peas and rice cooking but i decided to try heating them up in a pan. Needless to say that was a bit sticky lol even with the oil at the bottom. But while it got pretty hot, it was a mistake to not just put it in the microwave lol. The peas got pretty hard and some werent heated up all the way.

So not doing that either lol (my last idea was to attempt to pan-fry them together (kinda like hibachi). I think it would have worked had I not used such a small pan lol).

I'll also perfect the way I cooked the egg as well. I thought a lil Lawry's and some pepper in the mix while it was hardening would suffice but umm.... def needed some on the outsides, too lol. But egg has enough flavor in itself so it doesnt need too much seasoning to be good. And mixing it with the brat and rice (which was flavored with a bit of veggie stock and vegetarian soy sauce) honestly did the trick.

Theres no recipe to any of this since I'm still in a very experimental stage in my cooking skills. I dont have a solid intuition with cooking right now, but I'm creating an idea of what flavors compliment and what techniques cook optimally.

This meal consisted of:

1 Beyond Meat vegan bratwurst (torn into pieces to feel like more lol)

About half a cup of leftover white rice

Maybe half a cup of frozen peas (mixed with rice when heating. Maybe not next time, tho lol).

Soy sauce

Lawry's season salt (for the egg)

Pepper (for the egg and rice)

Olive and sesame oil (for pan-frying the brat and egg. Both mixed together; seseme oil less than olive)

A lil bit of veggie stock (to pour into the rice for more flavor).

Overall 8/10!

Great portion and flavors for breakfast or brunch! Could make a nice small and quick dinner, too.

[i-luvsang]

hihi :D. i'm back to do some crazy rants ig since i can't sleep :,). ig i'll just pick up where we left last time?

which is the hair colours! so i saw they dyed yunhos hair blue... AND THEY DID A MESSY JOB AT IT TOO? like in the idol radio pic you could still see a line of like blond hair?? i just know his hair is fried.. they should've kept it blonde urgh. also my neobong... apparently he told at a fansign his hair isn't finished yet? now, i have my theories! like 2 years ago yeo said he wanted to split dye his hair mint and pink. so that's what a lot of people are thinking, and that could be possible ig? but yk what i would love to see? GREEN AND BLACK!! like yk the billie eilish hairstyle with the green roots? OORRRR like the 'hidden' hairstyle where the top is like black and the 'hidden' part of his hair is green and he has like green bangs/fore pieces. i think they're gonna let the green fade tho. TALKING ABOUT NEO...

I'M PICKING UP WHERE I LEFT TALKING ABT GETTING INTO NCT. i am in love with taeyong!! LIKE OBSESSED!! DELUSIONAL OVER THIS MAN!! he's so so so fine!!! like tyong pls come home the kids miss you :(!!! my faves have not changed from last time ig, but i'll say my biases from each unit just bcs i can ig? nct 127 is obv taeyong!!! my nct dream bias is haechan and for wayv it's xiaojun. i'm not rlly counting in nct u bcs the line up is different each cb yk. and if u wanna count in djj it jaehyun, that man is so fine AHDHS. that's all i had to say abt kpop. i haven't rlly been keeping up with a lot of kpop content these days tbh, i've been watching criminal minds :)!

and since ik you have a blog for criminal minds etc i'll rant a bit abt cm here too? i'm at ssn 13 right now so i'm almost done :,). i just finished the eps where that annoying ass lady split up the bau and tried making changes and they secretly team up to catch this serial killer that kills these women and sells like the pics of it and they end up saving the daughter of this dude with a lot of power and he ends up funding the bau etc. i'm so excited to finish cm soon but also not? but i feel like it's kinda time too since i've been watching it for so long. i had to take breaks watching it bcs school and struggles with paranoia so it took me a long time to get back into it again. but now that i'm watching it again i'm so happy bcs i missed the show so much. i think that was my rant since i have nothing else going on rn, i'm a homebody who does nothing more than to sit in their room and watch kpop content, tv shows and read 😭 thank you for listening <3 — 🎧

hello !! you know i love the rants babe !!

i completely agree that they should have kept the blonde. i was excited when i thought they could have a new color but after concert pics with the blonde and the not so great dye job for the blue i'm wishing we could have kept the blonde too :,) but no for sure, he said something like being on the third bleach round or something like i'm crying for him rn akfhakjf

and YEAH NO BECAUSE I WAS TALKING ABT THIS WITH OTHER MOOTS AND- i really really like the idea of the mint green and pink bc like thats so fairy coded and hes so fairy coded and like i also def prefer a mint green to whats going on right now (tho its growing on me mostly bc yeosang just always looks so freaking good). and like i dont think i'd like the idea of the green and pink if it were the split dye like one side pink one side green but i feel like it was supposed to be the top of his hair being pink and the bottom green which could look so freaking good and adorable. BUT UHHH NOW THAT YOU MENTION THE GREEN AND BLACK, BABES THAT IS TOO GOOD you're a literal genius. they probably will just have it fade but i'm praying they do something like that with it sorry to your hair yeo LOL

I SEE I SEE taeyong is definitely a very easy man to simp over. yeah i never count nct u LOL fahfkjsdf but i see you ! i'm understanding, my sister is a haechan stan HAH i just love making fun of him its in my nature as a renjun lover. honestly i'm barely an nctzen anymore BUT i still enjoy dabbling in their content and convos about them like this from time to time it feels nostalgic and nice. i've always been more of a dreamie so i've been passing through neotown more lately with their comeback approaching.

oH MY GOD CRIMINAL MINDSSS my comfort show fr AHAHAH i'm a little crazy. fun fact emily prentiss is my gay awakening !! i'm actually rewatching it rn i'm still on ssn 10 tho lol. ngl i only vaguely remember that ep rn i will be reminded when i get to it LOL. i get you tho omg like it's so long and it's exciting to get through esp if you've had to take breaks like that so valid !! but also i never want my favorite things to end LOL but i mean here i am rewatching it so it's not a huge deal anymore khfkajsd i'm glad you've felt happy watching it tho !! that's awesome.

but babe you are literally me that is legit also the only thing i do, we are twinsies fr. you're welcome for listening and ty for sending it in !! you know i love to hear from you <333