#w/e hope yall do!

[thewisestdino]

Et Tu Brute?

[gibbearish]

hey @humans saw yall responded to a post making fun of you for updating the pixel alignment of a dash icon rather than fixing anything important saying "changes like this feel small but can make a big difference for some people" which is a bullshit cop out if ive ever heard one so im here to tell you directly in a way you cant wiggle out: you know what would actually make a big difference for a LOT of people? not being transphobic assholes

[snekverse]

Any Kenmur and Emmalyn hcs?

Ofc anything for you!!!

Kenmur:

Worships Kul'zak, who, among other things, is the patron of inventors

Avid coffee drinker, but makes an exception for his wife (who doesnt care for coffee)

Started tinkering as a hobby; he eventually turned it into a career thanks to Emmalyn's encouragement

A surprisingly good cook, and does the majority of the cooking in his house

Never really wanted to be lord of Meteli; he was influenced heavily by his parents who (accidentally) pressured him into running (while they were alive)

One of his fondest memories is fishing with his father as a child; it's something he still enjoys doing from time to time and he hopes to someday share that experience with his own children

Emmalyn:

Drinks a LOT of tea; she can't start her day or go to bed without a cup

Loves fall, it's her favorite time of year

Winter, however, is her least favorite season; it's just too cold for her :(

She hasn't cut her hair in years and by s1 it's reached well past her waist; she is very proud about how long her hair is, even if she rarely talks about it or wears it down

Absolute spitfire, she definitely "wears the pants" in her relationship if you will

Before he revealed himself as an evil POS, Emmalyn really respected an even admired Zane, what with him not only being the High Priest of Irene and a leader in scholarly circles revolving around the Divine

[foreverxdaydreaming]

hello hello guess who's still alive 👀

feels weird to be away from tumblr sm bc this place has always felt like & always will be like home away from home

[theood]

All I can hope for at my new job is that my coworkers are nicey to me bc I can be a bit slow learning new things

[rexscanonwife]

Rex is always my main boy...my number one, my king...but Boba was actually in my dream last night >//>

[bellsliturgy]

sry for the lack of activity on my part here it’s been v stressful wrt the crimis season i’m dealing with a lot of small things and a couple really big things and it makes me want to eat my own hands more details under the cut if ur interested (tw mention of a horrible certain swamp scum transphobe author; fellow transpersons beware)

1) my gma is 85 and is on her last legs idk how much longer she’s got left in her and with her being in the hospital with afib (atrial fibrillation for those who dont know, basically her heart is beating 2 fast and out of rhythm (but afib can be any kind of heart beating speed, it just means it’s Not Normal) and the winter storm she is staying with us which means my mom is more Aggressive and Demanding and Hateful towards me and dad bc idk i guess hosting ur small quiet kind grandma calls for attacking your husband and child (very important ingredient cannot skip)(btw my grandma is fine she’s just very weak and is struggling to physically move around by herself but insurance company is refusing to let her go to a physical rehab center for treatment???? lol????? hashtag AICAB (all insurance companies are bastards)

2) speaking of whom i also came out to my mom as trans after an argument abt justa kunt r*wling (mom doesnt know anything abt how nasty of a creature wizard bitch is but i’m still like mom pls there are better authors out there with fictional work that isn’t harmful) book that she bought for my cousin’s step-daughter (she’s fucking NINE) and i was so triggered i was like i need to get this out it’s weighing on me (it was every time i wanted to come out to her and didn’t it was so damaging to me mentally) so that was wild and lukewarm but she didn’t kick me out of the house and says she loves me and wouldn’t reject me no matter what (unless grandma is around??? for some reason idk) so while that is a good thing it’s still been a very hard birthday month for ya boi greg

3) i’m also on the phones at work which in itself isn’t a bad thing because the calls i get are from ladies who work at the courts across the state and they are for the most part very nice and easy to work with but i have Big Phone Anxiety thanks to my time working at the call center for the same agency (i don’t even answer the phone at home anymore and i get scared when it rings, members of public are nasty and i hate them and they belong in a zoo) so that’s causing me anxiety at night andd also at work even tho when i’m actually talking on the phone it’s not really an issue it’s just the Anticipation of a Call

4) i’m in therapy!!!! with a transgender therapist and he’s WONDERFUL but we are focusing more on cbt (cognitive behavioral therapy) which is digging up a lot of pain for me and forcing me to deal with my emotions and my past trauma so THAT’s A LOT and now i have “I came Out to my MOM” for him for next time so that will be interesting (i need to just let myself cry in front of him i have a VERY hard time crying in front of ppl bc i was horribly abused for crying at a babysitter’s house but that’s 1) very heavy and 2) neither here nor there)

5) BEACUSE OF ALL THE STRESS and cold weather my lip split open and 2 canker sores formed in the split area so that’s been cool

6) christmas is just stressful for me and also my mom has been On One this whole month because murphy’s law keeps going into effect w grandma being in the hospital and her brother my uncle suggesting we have christmas separate because of covid (he and my aunt both had covid VERY recently), grandma being sick in the hospital, and the winter storm and i also have 3 cakes i’m baking so THAT’s stressful to think about and i just want it to be over lollll

[retroellie]

NSFW Alphabet w/ Spencer Reid

Summary: NSFW alphabet w/ spenice poo

A/N: Ovbiosuly i have to introduce a new character with an NSFW alphabet... it's become my thing yall I know. Also, i wanted this one to be like spencer in the earlier seasons because I'm a whore for him then.

Warnings: NSFW, BDSM, pegging, loss of virginity, Sub!Spencer Reid

Word count: 3.8K

A= Aftercare (What they’re like after sex)

Dr Spencer Reid is a sweetheart and we all know this, so obviously he's going to be the sweetest boy after. The first couple of times y'all have sex, he's kind of awkward afterward... like he feels weird about the fact he was just inside of you and now he has to talk to you like nothing happened. Eventually, he warms up to it and gets better at taking care of you. Now he always makes sure he has a soft rag and some water in his nightstand so when you stay over he doesn't have to get up. To be completely honest though, he's the one who needs the aftercare...

B=body part (Their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner's)

He likes your boobs, like really likes your boobs. He likes them because they're just so versatile, you know? Like he can lay his head on them while you read to him, he can stick his dick in between them, he can suck on them... I mean, what more can this boy need?!?!? Mostly he likes how he can still see them when you guys are in public, maybe not in their entirety but he loves when you wear low-cut shirts. You do it on purpose sometimes, just to see him squirm in his seat while trying to go over statistics on a case. But overall, Spencer just really likes your body. It's just one of those things that Spencer doesn't have to think about or understand, it was just so easy to fall in love with it.

Spencer doesn't really like his body, I feel like he's a very insecure person. He thinks he's too scrawny, too thin, and extremely out of shape. You try to tell him that he's perfect but he can't get over his insecurities. If he did have to choose, it would be his mouth, if he's good for anything... it's for talking and giving mind-blowing head.

C=Cum (anything to do with cum)

Spencer has the worst pull-out game ever, I mean seriously. It's mostly because he just loves cumming with you. The way he'll be deep inside you, literally inside your guts... then he just releases it all into you and watches as your face controls into pure pleasure. He loses all control when you cums, his vision goes white and the only thing he can think of is how pretty you look on his cock.

You had to go on birth control because you couldn't deny Spencer Reid of his favorite thing to do, plus he went on this rant about how birth control is better than condoms because condoms can break blah blah blah. You knew it was simply because he wanted to cum inside you... and it felt way better without a condom.

D=dirty secret

Spencer Reid loves to research things alright... so obviously he has watched massive amounts of porn for research purposes. At first, he tried to tell himself it was for profiling purposes, he needed to know what every kink was so he was able to apply it when needed... well, then it turned into more of his own interest. He wanted to know what he liked, especially when he met you. I mean he's watched almost everything, BDSM, humiliation, sadism, choking, slapping, even pissing. A lot of those things he found he didn't enjoy, but he's honestly found some stuff that makes his face heat up at the thought of it. What's even weirder about this is that Spencer has never jacked off to any of it, to him... it is completely for research.

E=experience (How experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)

You were his first and he hopes you are his last :). He hasn't even really kissed anyone before you. However, as said above, Spencer has done a lot of research so he definitely knows what he's doing. But porn is completely different than the real thing so he was confused that it didn't go how he expected it to go. What's really nice about Spencer is that he has an eidetic memory, so if something makes your toes curl once... he can do it over and over and over again the exact same way which honestly makes him seem so much more experienced than he actually is.

F=Favorite position

He loves it when you ride him. Not only does he get the perfect view of your boobs and your face, but he loves letting you take control. I feel like Spencer is a bottom so he enjoys the feeling of you towering over him, taking everything you need, and controlling if he gets to cum or not.

He also loves taking you from the back but not in the way you would think. He likes being able to lean against something and you do all the work, like you thrust yourself back on him. He likes that so when you get too tried or frustrated, he can help you fuck yourself on him. Also, I feel like Spencer would like to be experimental with positions, especially since he knows almost all of them from his extensive research. So he tries to switch it up and try new positions every once in a while.

G= Goofy (Are they serious at the moment or are they humorous?)

Everything spencer does is goofy as fuck, so sex is not a serious thing for yall. You can't do anything without spencer shooting out some statistics which makes you laugh, cause his dick could be down your throat and he'd talk about how "43% percent of women say they like giving oral more than receiving it." Sometimes you have to show his face between your own legs to get him to shut up. In short, spencer has to be serious all day at the BAU, so coming home and having to seriously fuck you is just not something he wants to do. He's gonna have some fun with it.

H= Hair (How groomed are they down there?)

Spencer is a bit of a germaphobe, he doesn't like to shake people's hands for god sake. He is definitely either clean-shaven or very well-groomed. He makes sure to clean his junk thoroughly, again with the whole bacteria and germ blah blah... You get it, he just feels more clean if he's groomed well down there.

As for you, I feel like he's gonna care if you're shaved down there or not. I mean he's obviously still going to eat your pussy even if you haven't shaved, but he does prefer you to be groomed down there. Again it's a germaphobe thing for him, but like I said... it's not the thing that determines if he'll fuck you or not.

I=Intimacy

This boy is touch starved as fuck. He usually doesn't like touch, he's scared of it if I'm being honest. So when you came along and touched him in every way possible... he craves it now. He wants to be close to you at all times when he's reading, on a case, or showering. He wants to be touching you in some way. Sex is intimate as well, especially since you were his first time. Losing his virginity was a huge thing for him, so the intimate part was important to him.

He loves the cringey romance things, I mean like buying you flowers or going on expensive dinners every anniversary or birthday. He only ever got his romance beliefs from old romance books and cheesy romance movies. He sure did know how to make you feel like a princess.

J= Jack off (Masturbation headcanons)

Spencer never really masturbated much before he met you, he never really felt that way either. Like being horny was something that he never felt, never got hard, or had a wet dream. Even while doing his research, he never popped a boner... not even once! That was until he met you, now a bus could go by and he is stiff. He can only jack off to the thought of you though, he only needs his mind and his hand to get him off when you aren't there.

I also think he likes to watch you masturbate, he's a little creep like that. Obviously, you'd know he was there, but he likes for you to pretend he's not there. He loves watching you tease yourself, moaning his name while he sits in a chair in the corner of the room. It gives him a small power rush, knowing he's getting you off without even touching you.

K= Kinks

Alright, he has quite a bit... he's a little dirty dog once you get him going. He definitely has a mommy kink definitely, I mean he has mommy issues so it is inevitable for the word mommy to slip out during sex. He says shit like "You make me feel so good mommy..." or "Can I cum mommy?" In his most pathetic voice as he whimpers so loud.

He's a kinky little fucker, to name a few...Prasing, bondage, role-playing, orgasm control, Voyeurism, humiliation. The list goes on and on. He was so embarrassed to bring them up to you starting off, he felt wrong for liking these things. You basically had to fuck it out of him but when he did, he felt so comfortable with you. Sex gets rough and a bit chaotic, but it was for you guys and you guys only so it didn't really matter. As long as you two were both comfortable and enjoying it, it didn't really matter.

L= Location (favorite place to do it)

This is where Spencer Reid lacks alright. He likes to be in his own bed when doing it, I mean he can't really afford to be too adventurous in this area. He's an FBI agent... he can't get caught doing it anywhere else. That's not to say y'all haven't done it in other places, the hotels he stays at on cases have been a regular thing for you guys, but he just doesn't feel safe doing it anywhere else but his own home.

M= Motivation (What turns them on?)

Like I said earlier, he never really got turned on before you. He always thought there was something wrong with him when it came to sex, but girl... you opened a floodgate to him. What turns him on the most is when he thinks of you. Especially if he sees something, let's say he sees a desk... he can't help but imagine bending you over it. It's just you, when you creep up on his mind randomly... he turns into putty.

He also gets so flustered and turned up to the max when you humiliate him in public, like teasing him in front of the team. He gets so sexually frustrated, hearing you joke about him in front of Morgan or teasing him with Garcia about how smart he is... especially calling him "pretty boy"... just gets him going.

N= NO (Something they wouldn’t do/ turn offs)

As an agent of the BAU, constantly around murder and gore and pure violence... Spencer is really picky about violence in the bedroom. He wants sex to be light and fun, not dark. He doesn't mind degrading or hitting... but he wants to keep it at a minimum. I mean he sees it all day, every day. So he'd just rather keep it upbeat in the bedroom, he'd much rather praise you than anything else.

That is a gray area for him, however there is something that he will never do. He hates bodily fluids, so spit and blood... etc. is just off the table for him. Not only is he around it all day, but he doesn't like the germs and bacteria it comes with.

O= Oral (Giving or receiving, skill etc.)

This man could go down on you for hours, I mean... hours. Like I feel like this man jumps up and down when you let him eat you out. This man will attempt to tease you but he gets so eager when he eats your pussy, so he always ends up letting you cum the second your orgasm comes. His favorite after-work activity is to come to the hotel or your shared apartment, pull your panties down, and eat you out like a hungry man. Not to get all psychological (I'm telling y'all I have been watching too much criminal minds lately) but I feel like it's definitely a control thing. I mean his entire life has been out of his control, his entire career is about fighting for control... so the only time he feels somewhat in control is when he goes down on you.

Spencer Reid obviously enjoys receiving as well, I mean what man doesn't like getting some head? He finds you so pretty on your knees, trying desperately to get him off which doesn't take too long for him when you're like this. Spencer just prefers giving simply because he wants to make you feel good, I mean he so desperately wants to make you feel good. Plus he's really good at it, I mean really good...

P= pace (are they fast or rough? slow or sensual?)

As said before, Spencer is eager. He is extremely fast with it, I mean to the point you have to tell him to slow down sometimes because he's going crazy. "Slow down Spence.." You moan into the pillows as your face down, ass up. "Sorry... it... you... fuck... you just feel so good" He stutters out, probably the only time spencer reid gets twisted up with his words is when he fucks you. You would have to be the one to go slow with it, you want him to feel the love in the act. You want him to understand sex doesn't have to be a scientific act, it isn't just for procreation or for the orgasm... it can be an act of love.

Q= Quickie (Their opinions on quickies)

He probably loves them more than eating you out, actually.. I wouldn't go that far. It's a close second to it. He's a busy man, always on a case or trying to finish a book. They are especially good when y'all are traveling for cases like y'all only have 8 minutes before you have to get back to work... he can make you both cum 3 times in 4. He loves long drawn-out ones too, he likes making you feel good for hours but they are rare occurrences simply because he's always getting called into the office. So honestly quickies are how y'all survive.

R= Risk (Are they okay with experimenting? do they take risks?)

He loves experimenting! Like I said before, he has done his research and he probably made a list of things he would like to try with you. He had to get comfortable first to be able to experiment, it was a long process of breaking Dr. Spencer Reid out of his shell. But now it feels like you guys are always trying new things, I mean like every time you guys have sex... Spencer asks if he can do something new to you.

As for risks, he is not for risks. If it genuinely is risky, causing harm to either one of you or something that will cause Morgan to tease him every day for?? It's off the table like I said before... His entire job is about risks, he just wants your guy's sex life to be healthy and normal.

S= Stamina (How many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)

Spencer can go all night. Let's be honest, it's how he stays fit. Like I said, Spencer gets horny quickly so after every orgasm he has... he's already hard again. I feel like the most rounds y'all have gone is like 8 or 9, it was all in the course of 3 hours too. Again it's a rare occurrence for you guys to have long drawn-out sessions, it mostly happens when spencer has the day off or after a case and y'all spend the day in the city the case was in. When days like this do come, spencer goes crazy and full-on out. He'll light the candles, he'll have a tub of lube, he'll have bottles of water for you guys because he knows y'all will need lots of water after.

I feel like Spencer doesn't last very long, maybe 5 minutes but like I said... he gets hard really fast and he'll edge himself over and over again just so he can make you feel good. I feel like you also help him build up his tolerance, so he slowly starts to last longer and longer. When y'all first started having sex, he couldn't last over 2 minutes... let's be honest now y'all.

T= Toys (do they have toys and who do they use them on?)

ooooh, this is a fun one because spencer reid loves experimenting, so toys are definitely something he likes. He's really into vibrators, especially when you let him watch you masturbate... he just loves watching you tease yourself with it. However, when you use vibrators on him... makes him weak in the knees, for obvious reasons but also because of the sensation of the vibrating and then your hands or pussy?!? He can't help but cum every single time without fail.

Alright y'all I know, spencer reid likes to be pegged. He went completely feral when you bought it for the first time, he begged you to destroy him with the strap. He is a bottom, he likes to be dominated... It goes without saying that he likes to be pegged. You do this thing though, where you're taking him from the back and you use a vibrator to hold his cock. You have him screaming with that move you do.

As for other toys, I feel like he has a pair of handcuffs or bondage toys laying around.

U= Unfair (how much do they tease?)

He doesn't do much teasing but you do, you tease him so much that he is begging to be fucked by the time you guys are alone. He's used to being teased by literally everyone in his life, but something about your teasing... no matter if sexual or not, never fails to make him all flustered.

His teasing isn't really teasing, to him it is but every time he tries teasing you, you end up getting so confused. He'd be like, "You look good in that shirt, it would look way better off though... You know statistically, women in shirts...". Just a very Reid thing to do. You always feed on his teasing though, you want to make him feel good about himself so you just smile and nod.

V= Volume (How loud are they?)

This mf is loud as fuck. Sometimes you have to push his face into the pillows or make him bite down on your panties because he's just so loud. He doesn't moan either, he whimpers and whines. There's a time when you love making him whimper, you encourage it actually. You love seeing his red, flustered face as he whines for you to let him cum. Then there are times, like in hotels, that you have to keep him quiet. Unfortunately, Spencer Reid doesn't do quiet. You shoving your wet panties in his mouth is a regular thing in those times, he can't complain because he loves the taste.

He is also very vocal, he loves praising and being praised. He will whimper out "Fuck... make me feel good.." or "wanna cum in you.." You always cave into his wants, I mean his little whimpers are so cute how can you not?

W- Wild card (Random headcanons)

We all know that spencer reid loves books and statistics, so he will definitely multitask when fucking you. He loves when he's at his desk at home and you come in, wearing nothing but one of his sweaters. You'll crawl down on your knees and suck him off under the desk. You force him to do work as you make him cum, over and over and over. He also likes it when you cockwarm him, asking him questions about the case and if he messes up or stutters... you snap your hips down and make him whine. One time, when you were riding him in his office chair... he was reading a book, like an old literature book. "Are you reading right now?" You asked him, confused because like what? and he replied. "yeah... it's okay, you can keep going. I'll be done in a minute." He smiled so innocently, you wanted to fuck him harder after that.

Also, he uses his statistics to make you feel good, he read in a college textbook about female anatomy that girls like their nipples played with during sex so he tried it on you. You had no idea you liked that until Spencer Reid started pinching them. He'll also tell you the statistics while doing it, which I think is kinda funny. "Statistically, 76% of women have never stimulated they're g-spot," He says as he thrusts up, hitting yours perfectly.

X= X-ray (What’s going on in their pants)

Spencer Reid is a very scrawny and skinny man, so I know he is packing. He's probably a little over average, not too much but enough to make you nervous if you'll be able to take it all. He has a very pretty dick too, very well-groomed and very clean. He doesn't have much girth too, but honestly, size doesn't matter.

Y= Yearning (How high is their sex drive)

Very high sex drive, that's why quickies are so important to him. He didn't really understand Morgan's obsession with women at first until he actually had sex... now he always wants to be inside of you. He begs a lot too, if he's horny... all he will do is beg and plead for you to touch him. "Spencer we just got here, settle down." You scold him as he tries to get you to the private bathroom. "Please y/n... you look so pretty in your dress and... it's making my stomach hurt." Eventually, spencers whining gets you all hot and heavy, and you end up fucking him in the bathroom.

Z= ZZZ (How quick do they fall asleep after?)

Spencer passes out after his balls are empty and he is worn out from everything. Like I guess anyone would be exhausted after 7 to 9 rounds of desperately trying to get off. Not only but he has a very mentally and physically exhausting job, so he's out like a light as soon as his head hits the pillow. 

[ravewing]

cambrian period dashboard simulator

redlichiida-realdeactivated0645589142

petition to ban anomalocarises from the local sandbar. theyre so fucking big and it's freaking everyone out and me personally ion want a trilobite muncher looming over me when im trying to have a drink.

🪲 trillybite17 Follow

they dont call them the ABNORMAL shrimp for nothing, they're fucking weird

🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow

No, you know what petition needs to be started? One to get rid of ignorant bigots like you. Have you ever SEEN an Anomalocaris ever eat, let alone ATTACK a trilobite? No, you haven't. Because they DON'T EAT TRILOBITES. Do some fucking research before you say shit like this.

⚜️ splendidmarrella Follow

fyi if you get rid of anomalocarises from public spaces then you will quite literally starve. you know those dead soft-bodied organisms yall scavenge and eat? yeah anomalocaris is the one providing those for you. as a scavenger myself i have been personally impacted by loss of food due to unfair treatment of anomalocarises that have forced them to leave the shallows that i live in and let me tell you eating detritus and nothing else is literally awful. please think twice before you post something prejudiced like this.

🩶 pleurae71 Follow

common hallucigenia + marrella W

ignore the OP, i promise most of us trilobites aren't like them- i don't even know why this is a debate. i guarantee they've never stepped outside of their little rock cave in their life

🌀 xXcorynexospikesXx Follow

LMFAOO they deactivated☠️

32,354 notes

🫧 cambripuns Follow

What do you call a Hurdiidae without any eyes? A Hurddae!

♟️vampeytoia Follow

actually you'd call it 'uncle maximilien' because my uncle maximilien was hatched with no eyes

💼 stanley-shrimp Follow

Valerie, you and I both know damn well that you do not have an "Uncle Maximilien," let alone one with no eyes. Stop lying on the internet and stop leaving your soft-bodied organism carcasses on my front sandbed. It smells putrid.

♟️ vampeytoia Follow

wow ok mr fun police. just go and piss on my parade like that

51,039 notes

👾 fiveeyedcoolguy Follow

giys i.m tripping bals rn lol. shuld not hv eaten tge 'detritus " browni e from the hallucigna.. i saw thr magic anomllcrais

🪱 pinkpikaiapage Follow

What?? Elaborate

👾 fiveeyedcoolguy Follow

He told me a prophecy

6,211 notes

🦐 apexshrimpy Follow

she cambrian on my period till i explosion

#anomalo talks #misc tag #is this hash tag funny or no?

211 notes

🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow

thinking about dying my spikes again. what color should i get?

🍢 leancho852 Follow

Do magenta to match your skateboard!!

🎸 punkrock-halluci Follow

ohh that's actually really smart thanks🙏

17 notes

🪨 shalesifters Follow

🧽 the-odontogriphus767 Follow

yo wtf. none of these fuck the landmasses. we're all in the ocean for a REASON

🦪 biofilmer08 Follow

Hey, actually, a few other molluscs and I browse on the microbial biofilm :)

♟️ vampeytoia Follow

🤓

9,761 notes

🕸️ arthropodstemz Follow

reblog if u get around by undulating ur lateral lobes

21,006 notes

📜 g-wiwaxia Follow

Did anyone else happen to see @shalesifters poll on the landmasses (followed by the reblog of the mollusc)? I think that I was simply born in the wrong generation, that I should have been able to experience the joys of being a land-dweller. I may just have grown tired of being in the ocean every day; quite frankly I just want some sort of change or reform (especially considering the incredulous prices of jellyfish nowadays...)

#Rant #I hope you guys get the idea. I expect some (likely a copious amount of, actually) hate for this one, but regardless I thought that I'd share my thoughts here #I'd like to move to Laurentia

1,732 notes

📸 daily-cambrian-pics Follow

⚜️ splendidmarrella Follow

omg thats me on the bottom in the middle! @romip51212 @kookykootenia look its us from earlier today

🫑 kookykootenia Follow

Woah whatt this is actually crazy

🍤 romip51212 Follow

yo i look rad in that.. changing my header immediately

8,121 notes

🦂 radiodont-radiostatic Follow

DNI if you support any of the anti-anomalocaris propaganda that's circling around. Sick and tired of the twisted lies that are being spread on here. I won't stand for the slandering of my brethren.

#static speaks #dni #will not hesitate to block and report any of you bigoted assholes

93 notes

🪼 jlyfsgh224256 Follow

q

79,343 notes

🍌 nectocarisking69420 Follow

I FUCKING LOVE DETRITUS

🍌 nectocarisking69420 Follow

Yo wtf was i on last night

🍢 leancho852 Follow

You were just speaking your truth king!!

755 notes

🪸 see-you-lagerstatte Follow

thought too long about the big white orb beyond the surface and broke down crying. What to do about this?

#why is it there?????? what is it???? #please im going insane over this

23 notes

🐾 catboycanadaspis Follow

born to say "nya!" and meow. forced to consume the coarse particles found on the sediment surface

886 notes

🌊 tidal-trilobite Follow

hey has anyone else noticed that it's been harder to breathe lately or is it just me? can't afford to go to the doctor for an exam rn

🦀 clackyappendages Follow

I thought that it was just me! I might sound crazy but have there been less archaeocyathids lately??

🐚 sand-muncher-757 Follow

i've had TWO neighbors pass away from hypoxia in the past month, definitely have noticed the breathing issues too. also i havent seen an archaeocyathid in so long either. so weird😬😬

682 notes

[sturnad]

NIGHT SHIFT p1

Pairing: y/n and Chris Sturniolo

Summary: a girl that just started working in a local cafe in her small town and a boy who just moved into her town because of his dads job.

Warnings: none

Finally, the last costumer before i close up..Atleast thats what i thought. My eyes flashed before my mind as i saw a tall brunette boy walk in. He closed the door behind him and as he walked over to the counter i quickly jumped behind my coworker and whispered to her while holding on to her apron.

"omg omg...can you please serve himm?" i whispered. She rolled her eyes at me and noded a no as she slightly pulled her apron out of my fist. "get up." she said motioning me to serve him. I sighed and walked over to the front. I put on a fake polite smile even though my stomach was doing flips. He finally walked over and looked around thinking what he should get before he finally spoke up.

"Hello.. could I get a chai tea please?" he said.

I noded while trying to get my words out. "Yeah..coming right up."

I quickly walked over to make his order. He just sat down on a chair behind the counter, patiently waiting while scrolling on his phone.

...As i waited for the water to boil i noticed my coworker walking up to me in the corner of my eye. She moved my hair out of her way and whispered. "Ohh do you like him??" she said.

My face turned PALE. I noded a no. God i was bad at lying. She chuckled at me and shaked her head before returning back to work.

I made his tea and awkwardly walked up to him. I slowly placed his order on the counter he was sitting behind. "Here you go.." i said quietly with a small grin on my face. I tried asking if he needed anything else but i stuttered so i just gave up.”U-m w- would- you like anything e-else?..” i said with my cheeks RED. He just laughed it off and smiled.. “you’re cute.. no im good tho..”. After i heard the words that came from his mouth i blushed so hard before smiling politely and walking away.

I quickly made my way to the “workers only” room and pulled my phone out of my back pocket and texted my bestfriend;

"Omg girl you wont believe it im literally shaking right now. Theres a boy who came into the cafe right before we closed up. Hes soooo cuttee!! Ive never seen him before though.." i quickly typed in before turning the phone off, shoving it back into my pocket and returning back.

As I washed the dishes from the last costumers my mind was full of the worst scenarios and things;

Should I ask if he moved here?

No why would you do that dumbass.

Hes so cute.

Omg what if i embarrass myself right in front of him!

..and suddenly my coworker snapped her fingers in my face. "Are you even washing the dishes y/n?" I snapped out of it and noded as i looked down at the running water.

He finished his drink and left the money on the counter before he just disappeared. I picked the money up and noticed that he left a tip, I smiled to myself, looking at the money before putting it in the register.

...Who is that boy?

-

We closed the cafe and i left to go home.

For the whole ride home i was thinking about him.

..but really who is he?

PART TWO coming soon

first time writing i hope its alright..

Im going to make multiple parts of this cause it will get interesting (i hope). If yall do not like the story keep scrolling.

TAGS:

@imwetforyourmom

[rzyraffek]

Hello I have a NSFWish?? Request could you do Eddie Gluskin and maybe Brahms W a pervy s/o? Like always checking them out, grabbing their booty and pecs - I know you've done some NSFWish stuff and this isn't explicit so I thought it'd be okie!

Thank you!!

- 🎨

O my god your a genius, I swear those guys are not expecting that! I hope that you don't mind adding few characters 😈 rest of notes at the end

They/them, Request open (yeah I know im taking long time to write but its summer time this person (me) is going o u t s i d e )

Slashers with pervy s/o

Eddie Gluskin

BRO TAKES IT AS INVITATION

Litteraly slaps their ass back

Kinda suprised at first, not used to people being so straightforward with him... and so brave... and- oh my darling your so...so...

bro caught simping

When they slapped him first time he just slowly turns around, he is about to whoop that ass HARDD

I swear anything playfully or just straightforward creepy/pervy this dude sees as flirt and a suggestion

But completely oblivious to their stares and eyes wandering in places, untill he looks at them directly he won't notice, BCS NOONE EVER YKNOW DID THAT TO HIM HE DOESNT EVEN THINK ABOUT IT

Brahms Heelshire

I just realised that hes name is so british... omg just say it out loud BRAHMS HeelSHIRE this dude is more british than queen herself (rip btw) LIKE IF anyone in amercia or anywhere else really was named brahms fucking heelshire he would be bullied so hard. Tbh maybe that's why he's in walls

Feels threatened... he was suppose to be pervy one! Not his s/o :((

At least you guys have fun running around mansion and slapping eachothers ass??? Yay relationship goals!!!

Man says "I mean I support equal rights" just to trow them from stairs or something

Also HE LITTERALY BLUSHES when they touch him normally NOW IMAGINE IF S/O does that to his bootie

"Are you checking me out again? Stoophh"

Pls he just tries to cuddle when he feels their arms slowly moving lower and lower and- hold up what do you think your doing love?🤨😳

Asa Emory

No

Nuh uh

You dont

He will litteraly cut their hands off if they try to do anything skechy

Hes so dreamy

Pov: asa just cutting vegetables for dinner, vibing, then suddenly out of dark corridor, emerges goblin-like creature (s/o) with evil grin, running to attack him, he tries to dogde it, but their evil arms are too quick, goblin smacks his ass so hard he collapses(dramatically), Asa feels the wave of embarrassment and dies immediately

Its currently 4am

Tbh he kinda likes the attention, like s/o is such a simp for him rn, his ego loves itttt

If some stuff doesr make sense im sorry, its 4am and I want to clear my inbox asap cuz I feel bad for all people that are waiting for my fics. Although you still can request!!! Im just trying to get some ideas for old ones (cuz tbh some of yall dont really have ideas for requests and just say "write for this dude ok bye" 😔😔 plz ily all but I cant work with that, I need some sort of idea, even boring one or overused

[uncsukuna]

songs made by black artists that i think would suit jjk characters. oh my god this took forever to format n link songs. anyway, happy black history month yall!!!! i hope yall like this bc im sick of seeing taylor swift pop up in the list of artists gojo would listen to <33

gojo – starboy the weeknd, daft punk + ghost town kanye west, partynextdoor

for starboy it just gave im that nigga vibes, and for ghost town it's just the entire ‘i alone am the honored one’ scene. but mayb it could also be applicable to current gojo? idk.

geto – like a tattoo sade

fun fact: this is actually the inspo for my user!! the whole ‘broken by the burden of his youth’ and ‘hungry for life, thirsty for the distant river’ reminds me of his whole reason for defecting. he's hungry for life (wanting sorcerers to not have to risk their life to protect non-sorcerers & actually live a long, fulfilling life) and thirsty for the distant river (remember when they kept with the race/hallway analogy? yeah, and geto's goal was always going to be unattainable for him simply bc he didn't have the strength)

yuuji – adorn miguel + crooked smile j. cole, tlc

UGGHHH he's just so lovely. the most supportive boy ever i love my son sm, and that is my only justification for my song choices.

megumi – alone willow + nineteen pinkpanthress + answer tyler, the creator

tbh… idk bros been goin thru it this entire series, but esp recently. for answer, i rlly liked the first couple of verses (idk what to actually call it, but it's before the first chorus) bc it aligns well w papaguro n megumi. ig the stepdad could be gojo…?

nobara – no scrubs tlc + conceited flo milli + apeshit the carters + on my mama victoria monét

she takes nobody's bs n i love that for her!!! i feel like she'd absolutely love flo milli + megan thee stallion.

nanami – lotus flower bomb wale, miguel + i love you more than you know black party, childish gambino

sorry i rlly like him y'all... there's no angsty reason for these songs! n for i luv u more than yk, it's just nanami if/when he goes to malaysia :3

choso – do you like me? daniel caesar

i actually dk for this one... i just thought it suited him! yk since he wants to live as a human n when he loves he loves hard (shown by how determined he is to be the best older brother to his lil siblings)

toji – she will lil wayne, drake + foe tha love of $ bone thugs-n-harmony, eazy-e + crack rock frank ocean

i am a firm believer toji would like 90s + early 2000s rap. it just makes sense idk, also i once saw a post that said he died just a bit b4 no hands by waka flocka came out and... hey! for crack rock, it's just post-mamaguro him n instead of crack, it's his gambling addiction

sukuna – hater's anthem infinity song + hit ‘em up 2pac, outlawz + king’s dead jay rock, kendrick lamar, future, james blake + unbothered ski mask the slump god

he's a hater just for my son. bum ass nigga... and for hit em up: ‘don't one of u niggas got sickle cell or sumn? u fuck around n have a seizure or a heart attack’

maki & toji – worst behavior drake

self explanatory! them n their rebellion against the zenin clan <3

gojo & geto – oui jeremih

cause if weeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee! sorry but this is fueled by geto saying ‘we are the strongest’... thats it :p

[zhongrin]

🎁 ᴢʜᴏɴɢʀɪɴ 𝟐𝟎𝟐𝟑 ᴡʀᴀᴘᴘᴇᴅ 🫶🏻

ー just a little thing i wanted to make as the year ends 💗

𝐁𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐇𝐮𝐛𝐛𝐲 💍

① 👑 zhongli 👑 ✼ best husband, best comfort f/o, best everything. my ultimate blorbo 🧡

② al haitham 🌱 & wriothesley 🐾 ✼ he's such a silly guy. i love him so much. ✼ who's a good puppy! who's the goodest boy! yes you areeee~! <3

ⓧ runner up // neuvillette 🦦 ✼ his en voice almost made me simp. almost. damn you ray chase /lh

𝐅𝐚𝐯𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐞 𝐌𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬 🎶

ー✼ the ebg back in february and october! so so so so much chaos fun! both took all the creative juices and sleep i had, but it was all so worth it! i got to connect with more people and interactions were off the charts for the whole week. and coviello... my precious babie <3 i'm pretty sure i'll join another ebg next year given the opportunity.... or perhaps even host one, but with a twist-

ー✼ got matched up T W I C E (well, thrice in total) with mr. i am here's alternate universe selves al haitham. thanks @/ansy-tea / @/kopidense 👍🏻 i shall endeavor to make an effort to discombobulate and fool the silly sprout man in 2024 if there are any other matchup events open lmao

ー✼ teyvatweets! it was so much fun compiling everyone's tweets and coding the website hehe it didn't really blow up or anything due to how 'personal' that project was, but i think about it from time to time. such a fun lil thing!

ー✼ that 1 pity c0 al haitham who came right after ayato.... thanks dad for gracing me with your birthday luck 🙏🏻

ー✼ finally treating myself and indulging in all the selfship commissions. i'm grateful i have the ability to indulge and i'm hoping to do the same next year. and the way everyone just gifted me things for my birthday made me feel so so loved. i couldn't celebrate it with anyone since i wasn't at home, and it was on a weekday meaning my friends were all busy - so it felt like a mini-party... truly, from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much ;w;

ー✼ personally, i'm super happy and kind of proud of getting very comfortable with sharing my art and improving on it! i used to go back and forth whenever i'm trying to post art, but now i'm confident enough to not think too much about it! naturally i have lots to improve and i'm nowhere near 'good' but that's fine with me! i owe it all to yall's support and lovely comments <3

ー✼ all the anon drabbles and charanons!!!! always such a nice sight to wake up to. they're like surprise gifts whenever i open tumblr because i don't have notifications on, and i adore them so much! big big big shoutout to @/floraldresvi, @/crystalflygeo, and @/soleillunne yall are amazing ;w;

ー✼ all the super sweet messages all of you left in my christmas tree.... i'm cradling all the wishes and silliness and messages from my f/os so close to my heart!! ceo!haitham tho. bruh you're still making me work LEAVE ME ALONE- /silly

ー✼ that zhongli birthday celebration series... they're not much, and even with all posts combined they have way less notes than a random vent drabble i dropped in the middle of it lol but i had lots of fun writing, designing, and inserting all the 'golden threads' across the fics nonetheless!! i'll highlight them later so the people who have been following the little series can go 'OH' lol

𝐀𝐦𝐚𝐳𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐏𝐞𝐨𝐩𝐥𝐞 🫂

@ainescribe ❀ @silentmoths ❀ @crystalflygeo ❀ @moraxsthrone ❀ @floraldresvi ❀ @sheepmc ❀ @zhxngii ❀ @localplaguenurse ❀ @mysnowmanandmebaby ❀ @the-travelling-witch ❀ @watatsumiis ❀ @kurikurikurisu ❀ @leftdestiny-posts ❀ @kaeffeinee ❀ @queen-belial ❀ @abyssmal-skies ❀ @dawndelion-winery ❀ @yinyinggie ❀ @silkjade ❀ @dustofthedailylife ❀ @scarasmood

@euniveve ❀ @soleillunne ❀ @faesther ❀ @ansy-tea ❀ @vennnnn-diagram ❀ @navxry ❀ @celestetalkstoomuch ❀ @minhosairfryer ❀ @xeraeus ❀ @pearlywritings ❀ @ryuryuryuyurboat ❀ @mochinon-yah ❀ @asoulsreverie ❀ @xiaosonlybeloved ❀ @mooncreates ❀ @jingyuansbird ❀ @tearskillstardust

i love you all and i'm so so glad to have made a connection with you! be it knowing each other from mutual friends, from a drawing/writing commission, or even if we just stumbled onto each other randomly by pure chance - know that i appreciate you! every single one of you are so talented and so wonderful. thank you for being the threads that shaped the comfy sweater that is 2023 for me <3 ps. and for my former moots who are minors but have respected my boundaries, i'm sorry i didn't tag you but i had fun befriending you lot. my best wishes for you in the years ahead too! pps. some of you might know me from my main @/meimeimeirin instead! i separated the list into 2 paragraphs bc tumblr isn't letting me have that many texts in one block apparently hsldfjsd also, if you're not in the list i either 1) forgot, bc i have the memory of a goldfish, or 2) remembered, but felt like it would be intrusive for me to tag you <- (more likely tbh) 😔

@/jjovin3221, @/starffox, @/syrenkitsune, @/finleyrambles, @/dr-birb, @/smokipoki, @/1117sblog, @/virdiaura, @/lawnfei, @/lady-alexis-salt, @/local-ragamuffin, @/the-knaves-world, @/alhaithams-fanfic-stash, @/interpretpages, @/magicalink, @/starlingcore, @/lyralibra, @/crazyrichdaughter, @/winterhuntsman, @/ladycoleigh, @/bettybeako

ALSO, HUGE SHOUTOUT to the people who frequent my notifs. i can't remember most of yall's handles accurately (and for some of you i remember by your pfp instead hskdhskd) but whenever your username pops up, know that i always go "!!!!!" and my imaginative dog ears perks up and my metaphorical tail just starts thumping on the floor <3 thank you so much for your continuous support!! (and i know some of you wrote in my tree so thank you for that too hehe) note: that wasn't an exhaustive list, but more like the blogs i remember seeing a lot on top of my head!!

𝐅𝐢𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐌𝐞𝐬𝐬𝐚𝐠𝐞 🧡

thank you for such a lovely 2023! thank you for being here and for always supporting my works, my silliness, and myself as a person. here's to more fun shenanigans ahead, and i hope 2024 will be a year that makes us all a better person <3

ꕥ xmas dividers © cafekitsune

[pettal00beaine]

Detention - Snape x inocent!reader smut

reader is described as a female, and is in hufflepuff

a/n- idk what possesed me to write this but this is so dirtly yall, im thinking abb turning this into a series but idk. Also its my second post thats an actual fanfic, so hope yall enjoy

MINORS DNI

(Y/n)  (L/n) was discribed as a inocent, kind and soft girl. She had (h/c) hair that ran along her pretty face, (e/c) piercing eyes and a curved, bouncy and round body every boy wanted to touch. Even though she doesn't even know that boys have genitals.

She wasn't given the talk when she was younger and for certain she was discribed as a sparkly ray of sunshine at all Hogwarts. She was a Hufflepuff and was excellent in many classes, greatest being Herbology. 

She was often praised a lot from proffesors. She was the one who earned Hufflepuff many points through the years. But there was one class she wasn't a fan of.

Potions. Lead by non other than Proffesor Severus Snape. He never spoke about the girl, but was strict to her at times when she got a few measurements wrong in her potion. One time instead of healing a frog she turned it into a pigeon. Nobody was really surprised though, her patronum was a pigeon after all.

 But aside from some little incident there weren't tragic mistakes she had made. Until today at class. They were supposed to be making Amortentia, a very powerful potion. But with one slight bump of her classmate she managed to add half a bottle of peppermint oil into the mix resulting in her desk being flooded by the messy jelly like substance. And with one glare from Snape she knew what was going to go down . 

"Five points from Hufflepuff. Miss Glitheard you have detention here later today., at the end of all your classes. Everyone stop experimenting, Miss (L/n) clean this mess up." And with a sigh that left her mouth she begun cleaning the mess. With her head down for the rest of the day she completed all her classes and went to change her robe before going to her second detention at Hogwarts. 

The first one was in Astronomy when she broke a crystal ball. But she just had to clean the whole class of dust and that was it. Plus Ms. Sinistra added five points to Hufflepuff for her hard work. But she didnt know what Snape was like. With one final deep breath she opened the large door of the potions classroom. 

There sat Snape right in the front of the classroom writing onto some papers. He looks up and says: " Oh Miss (L/n) you finally appeared go on and sit down , and dont make a peep." She sat in the way back and put her bag onto the table. After about five minutes she felt bored and started to get pretty tired so she laid her head onto the desk letting herself dream into her sweet dreams of candy. 

(Snape's point of view)

I finished signing all of my paper on grading the fifth year students. And looked up to spot Miss Glitcheard quietly sleeping on the desk. I started to get mad at her actions and took my wand with me and started walking to her desk. I stood there before slamming my wand against the end of the desk letting little sparks fly out of the end. She got startled and fell to her knees right in front of me and looked me straight into the eyes.

I couldn't help but feel excited. "Oh my Merlin im so so sorry Professor Snape!" She quickly tried to get back onto the chair but i pushed her down with my right hand. " W-what ar-are you doing P-proffesore?" she asked as she looked at me inocently and blushed a deep red color. She wasn't lying she really didnt know what was about to happen.

 " Do not move a muscle." At that she sat still as i walked to the door, i pointed my wand at the doorknob and in a deep voice said: "Colloportus." 

With that i turned around to look at her looking at me. I slowly walked over to her as she turned her hair to look at the floor. I moved my wand across her jawli and moved her head up to look at me. "Proffesor my knees hurt, can i please sit on the chair?" 

"No. You are to remain here until i say so and until im satisfied." I said as i tapped my wand against her small but plump lips." Do you know what mens genitals are called Miss (Y/n)? Hmm?"

 "N-no sir i dont i swear. My mama said thats not good. So i dont know." 

She's telling the truth. This is going to be fun, a smirk is already forming onto my face as i look at her eyes. " You can sit down now." She obeyed as she sat down, i quickly made my way over and sat beside her. I started stroking her thigh and rubbing her robe.

"Its a little hot in here isn't it Miss?" 

" A bit." She said. 

I started taking of my robe revealing the pants and pullover that i had underneath. "Why dont you get comfortable yourself Miss?" She looked at me shily before removing her robe reveilng the sweater, tie and dress shirt. Her skirt was relatively short, i could see her chubby thighs. On the were the cutest pair of thigh highs i had ever seen. They were thick considering it was chilly outside and had adorable little pumpkins on them. I could just take them off one by one. But ill be patient. "Tell me Miss do you know what an erection is?" She shakes her head no.

 "Well, an erection is a hardened male genital or so called penis. Its caused by a male getting aroused by sexual tention." She lisened carefully as i suggested: " Would you like to try giving me an erection Miss.?" She looked shoked, she started getting teary eyed and shed a few tears. I cupped her cheeks and wiped away the tears.

" Oh Miss im sorry, whats wrong? " She looks at me with a quivering lip, "Momma said thats for bad people i dont wanna be a bad person mama will be sad." " Oh no deary its only bad if its forced but you want this, dont you Miss Glitcheard?" she looks patheticaly at the ground as i sense her thinking, maybe some old giving in will do the trick. 

I lean in close to her ear as i wispered:" Not even if i give some pathetic points to hufflepuff? Hmm? Wouldn't you like that little Miss?" And at that she looks at me and with a frown quickly nods her head." Alright then,lets get started. Get down on your knees infront of me." 

She obeys my orders as i move the chair to the side. She sits right in front of my legs. I started to move down the zipper on my pants revealing my white boxers. I slowly reach my hand into them as i take my huge cock out. She looks at it with wonder her eyes growing larger .

 "Its already half erect and leaking precum. Go on and put it into your hands Miss." She then slowly took it into her soft hands and squeezed it a little bit."Oh my Merlin that feels soo good. You see those ball like testicles under? You need to squeeze them gently." As she reaches down i cant help but feel excited, than i saw that my cock had twitched now fully hard.

She looked at it in surprise before slowly squeezing my heavy balls. It felt like i was in heaven. But i knew what would make it even better. " Do you see that mushroom shape? I want you to put it in your mouth." 

She looked at me so innocently as she opened her mouth, slowly taking in my tip. As she started to suck on it like a lollipop, it felt as if i was in heaven. I then pushed her head further as i heard her gag and choke, i looked right into her eyes as i saw tears flowing onto her cheeks. 

I tried to reach out to wipe them away as she started to gurgle and tap my thighs violently. I let her go to breath air as she started caughing. After a few seconds i took her back onto my cock, this time i felt i was close so i started to pound into her mouth. 

My balls slapped away on her jaw as she choked. "It'll be over soon i promise, just a few seconds more." I saw her eyes roll back into her head. She looked so fucking hot like that. I soon aproched my goal and for the last time i held her head down to my pubes. 

Her hands violently hit my thighs and her eyes had closed, knowing she was going to pass out i pulled out. I closed her mouth with my hand as i said: "I want you to swallow it all, or else you get punished." She shook her head no and moved back, as soon as my hand left her face she spitted out my jizz leading to a few coughs. 

She looked at me sadly as i just looked at her with slight anger for spitting my load out. " Im sorry i couldn't do it, it was too yucky and salty." "You think that its disgusting huh?" She shook her head yes. "You really are spoiled rotten. You think you can just spit it out like that huh? It takes time for me to make it happen you know. Do you understand that?"

She looked at me with eyes blowing with tears.

" Y-yes i do. Please dont punish me i wanna be a good girl, not a bad one. Am i a good girl sir, am i?" Her lip wobbled as she said that. " Right now your a really bad girl. You wasted what i gave you. And you will get punished. Now bend over the desk." She shook as she got onto her legs and took a few steps, she laid onto her stomach on the table. 

I put my cock back into my pants and walked behind her. I put my hand onto her hips as she shook a bit, trying to look over her shoulder. I then put a hand under her skirt and took it off with one swift motion along with her underwear.

 I kept her thigh highs on though, she looked so hot in them. I then took my wand into my hands and said ill give 10 spanks to your pussy, you will count each one, if you miss one i will start again. Understood?" 

"Yes i undertand sir." She said cutely.

I then so sudenly bought the wand down to her right cheek, making her jump in suprise.

"One!" She yelped. I made sure the second smack was a little more near her cunt.

"Two!" She yelped yet again. I had a smirk on my face as i continued the abuse on her cheeks. 

On the last slap she was crying so beautifuly, while i was rubbing her wery sore cheeks so it would hopefuly relieve some of the pain.

"You were good my sweet little dove, you deserve a reward dont you now? How about 30 points to hufflepuff? Hmm, would you like that?"

"Yes thank you Proffesor!" She said with a cute smile, as always.

"How about i bring us some tea darling, would it make you feel any better?"

"Yes Proffesore, with honey please!"

"Of course sweetheart." Oh how i love her.

[tinyreploid]

FALL 2023 SKETCH COMMS

HI my name's Cris and i recently came into a position where i'm gonna need some extra money for future proofing household stuff. There's only so many times u can fix things before they become unusable or rot completely. #oldhousethings

SO i am offering sketch commissions thru kofi (its a lil barren sorry) for right now, maybe longer... it depends on how things go. I have examples and prices on my carrd linked also in my bio, if u need more i have my art tag tab here on this blog! (#my art in search on mobile) I dont only do megaman but its my big main interest rn, so thats all i have to show hehe.

If u aren't able to comm a piece u can still leave a little tip if u want! Jic the link breaks or w/e its under crisrobo. (:

If u intend on placing a commission w me please contact me first using the email mentioned on my carrd. (do not dm me please)

Only 5 slots are available at a time. I also work 8hrs full-time in retail, even if theyre sketches they will take a bit to do btwn breaks and my time at home.

Also please don’t tag as donations, boost, or mutual aid.

Thank u for reading thru this and for any possible interest! I hope yall have a good day!!

[matashaw]

JUDGING YOU BRUTALLY BASED ON YOUR SUPA STRIKAS FAVOURITE CHARACTER

(this is obvi a joke, dont take it seriously pls.....)

Are you fucking serious rn? Fucking Shakes???? You're basic as fuck and have no taste in men. Also you are 100% straight, and probs have "nor/mal" in your bio

No Timmy, you're not irl El Matador, grow up

And you either are super homophobic or super gay

.....wow?

Are you ok??? Do you need help???

You're racist

You're gay + a furry

And you probs have a bodypillow of him

I hope you explode

Also you're def white

You're american.

Stop listening to taylor Swift and go to therapy

+ you have daddy issues

.....are you fucking serious?

You have a piss kink

You had an e-girl/boy phase

Go to therapy

+you probs bit someone in school

Jumpscare warning

You scare me

+You had a yaoi uwu phase

you have a femboy fetish

+you're NOT straight

You're bald

+you probs dont even know how to swim

+you have a feet fetish

.....omg?

Are you real? Do yall really exist?

If yall do, go outside pls

What?

You're a mexican divorced old man w kids

You're an obese dorito kid

......you play fornite

You're poor and have no house

Your name is Gas

Gay gay homosexual gay

You make fart jokes

You have no friendos

You probs bite your own toe nails

"erm... Actually....🤓☝️"

You scare me

Please stop hiding under my bed

If your fav character wasnt here im not sorry,