#i swear i am more sensible these days

[kifkay]

Winx characters as Chaotic Things I have done

Bloom: fully burned a vegetable soup, to the point that when I finally took the pot off the stove — there was no water or vegetables left, just the slightly charred bottom of a cooking pot. I was home the whole time. I just fully forgot.

Icy: as a seven/eight year old, got into a screaming match with a couple of older teenagers because they were making fun of my baby cousin.

Sky: ate like 1/3 of a charred (not overcooked, fully charcoal-black, burned) pancake that I thought my mom left out for me. got food poisoning. still went and taught a lesson to a girl I tutored, twenty minutes later.

Stella: when presenting a product in front of a gallery of university professors and prestigious organisations (as a stupid high-schooler, no less), accidentally roasted a venerable professor by calling his courses boring and outdated. (i was nervously rambling)

Aisha: the chain on my bicycle (the one that allows you to stop it and control the speed with which you’re going) fell off while I was riding it. Instead of stopping and making the two minute walk to my house, I pedalled towards it, full speed. couldn’t stop in time. FULLY passed my house. the road was bumpy as hell, so, naturally, I crashed into the ground and tore the skin on my knees. I had to walk back, ashamed, bloodied and lugging a fucking bike behind me.

Musa: live in a big city, have no orientation in space. still kinda can’t tell you which street around me is which. once, was tasked with retrieving a pizza we ordered from a cafe. walked around for about thirty minutes and didn’t find it. I was living in that neighbourhood for three years at that point.

Flora: was in an intense argument with my cousin (we were both like eight at that point) and, to stop it, I kissed her on the cheek mid-sentence. (it worked)

Tecna: my primary school had a tradition of choosing one kid to be the “Elder”/Leader of the class, which basically made you a teacher’s pet in official capacity. I was one. During one of the lessons, the teacher had to leave class and asked me to make sure the rest of the kids did not get too loud (how I, their nine year old peer, was supposed to achieve that escapes me to this day). naturally, the class got very loud very quickly in their absence. so I, in a way I was never able to replicate since then, perfectly mimicked the teacher’s voice telling them to shut up — to the point that my classmates legitimately believed that to be them speaking and got spooked.

[heli-writes]

Heartbreak and other nuisances

Pairing: Pro-hero!Deku x female!reader

Summary: Love is never easy, especially when you're the number one hero of Japan. After getting dumped by his childhood love, Deku just can't seem to get it right, much to his mother's disappointment. When he meets y/n, he is convinced it will just be a one-night stand. Or being fuck buddies. His broken heart stands in his way. And you've got your own demons to fight.

Disclaimer: nsfw, smut, oral sex, fingering, vaginal sex, angst, heartbreak, bisexuality

[Please don't read if you are sensible to or triggered by the topics mentioned above.]

Minors do not interact.

Note: It's very long. This might become a series later but for now can be read as a one-shot.

Part 1, Part 2

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Deku watches the skyline of Musutafu and tries to ignore the ringing of his phone. His patrolling shift ended a few hours ago But he can't bring himself to go home to his empty apartment.

His phone keeps disrupting the silent piece of the rooftop he is sitting on. He sighs and rubs his temple. It's probably his mother or one of his friends bugging him to go out with them.

Digging through the pockets of his hero suit, he eventually finds the ringing device. Two missed calls from his mom, three text messages from Kirishima and Denki and an email from his PR manager. He decides to check his voicemail first.

"Hey it's mum again, you haven't picked up the phone after my last few calls. So I tried again. I was just wondering if you'd like to come over on Saturday for a nice dinner with me and Toshinori. You don't have to of course but I'd be looking forward to seeing you again. Anyways, just give me a call when you have time to check your messages.", his mother's voice comes out of the phone.

He sighs and types in a quick reply.

> Hey, mom! Got your message. Sorry for not calling you back, work's a lot at the moment. Thanks for the invite, but I won't be able to make it.

His mother answers immediately.

>> Are you sure? You really should take a break from time to time. We're worried about you.

Izuku stares at the screen and pulls at his lip in thought. Just when he's about to give his mother a cheap excuse, another message pops up.

>> Yo, are you in on Saturday or not?

He opens the chat and reads that Kirishima and Denki invited him to a concert on Saturday. Then, he opens the chat with his mom again.

> Don't worry about me, mom. Actually, I can't come on Saturday because I am going to a concert with Kirishima and Denki.

>> A concert? Honey, that's nice. Have fun then!

Izuku sighs in relief. Another worried talk with his family was avoided. He's sure that he cannot stand another "A hero must have a balanced life"-talk by Yagi.

He quickly responds to Kirishima's message before putting the phone away and starting his way home.

~*~*~*~

The jeans feel uncomfortable, Izuku decides. All in all, his hero costume is a lot more comfortable than his normal clothes these days. He wears it like a second skin. Sometimes he forgets to put it off when he comes home.

His phone vibrates.

>> We're downstairs. You comin'?

He quickly puts his phone into his back pocket and grabs his key and wallet.

~*~*~*~

"I swear to god, that were the finest pair of boobs, I've ever seen!", Denki ends his dramatic story of a girl he slept with last weekend.

"It's probably the only pair of boobs you've ever seen.", Kirishima comments jokingly.

Denki immediately starts to go on a rent about all the boobs he's ever seen but Kirishima ignores him and turns to Izuku.

"So, how are you, Izuku? Haven't heard from you for a while. Didn't think you'd actually come out with us tonight.", he asks him.

Izuku shrugs.

"Same old, same old.", he answers vaguely. "Is Kachaan joining us?", he quickly tries to change the topic.

"Nah, he's busy with his girlfriend. Dude's probably spending all day and night in bed fucking.", Denki says.

Izuku feels his stomach drop. Of course, he knows about Kachaan's girlfriend. They're together for little over half a year now and the press writes about them every other day. However, he kind of hoped that Katsuki would grow tired of her eventually. After all, the only person he had ever been with for longer than six months was Izuku.

Kirishima rolls his eyes. "Denki, is sex the only thing you ever think about?", he asks annoyed. Denki gives him a smug expression. "I'm young, single, and hot. Of course, it is.", he answers.

"Talking about sex, Izuku when was the last time you got some?", Denki asks his friend nonchalantly.

Izuku furrows his brows. He actually has to think about this. He had sex after Kachaan but all these hookups were meaningless so eventually he gave them up.

"Actually, I don't know.", he replies truthfully.

Kirishima pats his back. "You don't have to tell us, buddy. But remember, we're not the press. You don't have to save face around us.", he tells Izuku.

Denkis starts laughing. "Dude, I think he's being honest. Damn, then you really need to get some tonight! But don't worry, I got ya. There are plenty of hot chicks at the club I am taking you to!", he exclaims, "Let's go!"

~*~*~*~

Turns out, the club is some kind of old, rundown pub at the end of town. Part of Izuku is glad Denki took them to a place like this. It's less likely to be found by paparazzi around here. Then again, it probably also wouldn't be good to be found by the press in a place like this.

Both Denki and Kirishima don't seem to care about that when they enter the place. There's a small stage at the end of the wide room. The banner over the stage indicates that some kind of rock band will be playing soon.

The trio makes their way to the bar first. After they've gotten their drinks, they find a corner to stand in and watch the crowd. It doesn't take Denki long to choose a chick for the night and he takes off to try his luck.

"So, how are you doing? I mean really? Don't give me a half-assed answer this time.", Kirishima asks.

Izuku takes a long drag from his beer. "Been telling you, I'm fine. Work's a lot but not surprising with our profession and status.", he mumbles just loud enough for Kirishima to hear.

Kirishima gives him a worried side glance. "You know that you don't have to carry this weight alone, do you?", he points out.

"Yeah, I know."

Izuku stares into his glass. He's not sure how or if he should make his friends understand that it's not work that lies heavy on his mind.

The truth is that the grand hero Deku is lonely. Simple as that.

He thought he found somebody special in Kacchan only to find out that it was nothing special to the explosion hero. Just something to pass the time until he found someone more fitting, someone more socially acceptable.

Izuku takes another drag from his glass when the lights suddenly dimmed. "I think the show is about to start.", Kirishima points out. "Wanna get closer to the stage?", he asks and Izuku just nods in response.

The two of them walk deeper into the small crowd that is forming. Somewhere in between the people, Izuku sees Denki's blonde hair light up.

A punk rock band enters the stage. "You know them?", Izuku asks his friend. Kirishima nods excitedly. "Yeah, they're pretty underground though. They're really cool. Katsuki introduced them to me!", he tells the green-haired men.

Blaring music starts and Izuku immediately knows that this is not his kind of music. He likes rock music but more classic hard rock like AC/DC. He can see though how this is right up Katsuki's alleyway.

Memories of loud punk music blaring out of speakers in Katsuki's bedroom flash before his eyes. He remembers the layers of sweat on his skin and the taste of Katsuki on his lips.

Suddenly, he feels nauseous.

"Hey, I'm getting another drink!", he yells over to Kirishima who already headbangs to the music.

Izuku makes his way over to the bar pushing through the masses of bodies. He starts to feel really uncomfortable. It's too loud, too hot, too stuffy.

When he reaches the bar, it takes a while to place his order. When he gets his drink, he stays at the bar. He's not too keen on throwing himself onto the dance floor again.

People squeeze past him left and right to get to the bar and get drinks. Uncomfortably, he tries to shift out of their way. Suddenly he bumps into someone with his back and cold liquid drenches his shirt.

"Gosh, I'm so sorry!", a female voice says behind him.

He turns around and then there's you.

You wear a short cocktail dress that compliments your cleavage. Your (y/h/c) hair is styled perfectly. Only your makeup looks a bit cakey, probably due to the high humidity in the pub you're standing in but Izuku doesn't even notice it.

"Don't worry, it's fine.", he mumbles and tries to turn away. He really doesn't want to get recognized. Especially not over a spilled drink.

"Are you sure?", you ask unsure but before you can say anything more, the man in front of you disappears into the crowd.

You watch him disappear in the direction of the toilets. You turn towards the bartender. "Excuse me, can I order what he had?", you yell over the music.

*~*~*~*

Izuku grips the sides of the sink. He splashes water into his face and looks at his drenched shirt. Luckily, it can be mistaken for sweat.

He would like to hole up in one of these toilet cabins. He really doesn't want to get back out there. Everybody out there seems to have a great time and he feels lost in the crowd.

Kirishima is probably already looking for him. The red-haired man already suspects that Izuku is not doing too well. He takes another deep breath before pushing himself off the sink and turning towards the door.

"Hey!", a voice says right next to him when he's out of the door. It's you again. You're holding two glasses of rum coke.

"For you. As a sorry for spilling my drink on you earlier.", you tell him and offer him one of the drinks.

Great, he thinks, a groupie trying to get my attention.

"Thanks", he tells her and takes one of the glasses. She gives him a curt nod.

"See you around", you tell him and turn around to leave.

Izuku stares after you. Did you not recognize him or are you not interested in him? Why does he feel slightly insulted?

"Hey, man, there you are. We were already wondering if you picked up a chick and left us behind!", Kirishima jokes and pats his shoulder.

*~*~*~*

"Izuku, are you coming over this weekend? We'd really like to see you again.", his mother says over the phone.

"You know, mom, I'm really busy. I don't know if I can make it.", he tells her trying to avoid the inevitable.

"Then we come over and I cook you a nice meal. I still have the spare key to your apartment.", his mother proposes gleefully.

Izuku rubs his temple. He really doesn't want his mother and Yagi to sniff around in his apartment. There's still a box of Kacchan's stuff under his bed.

"Alright, mom, I'm coming over for dinner, okay?", he gives in.

"Yes, honey, that's great. We're looking forward to seeing you.", his mother tells him contentedly.

After hanging up, Izuku rubs the sides of his head and sighs deeply. He is not looking forward to this.

*~*~*~*

"Izuku, we're so glad that you could make it!", his mother chirps and immediately hugs him upon opening the door. Yagi pats him on the back.

They go easy on him during dinner. Asking polite questions about work and his friends. His mother pries a little bit too much on what Uraraka is doing lately for Izuku's taste.

After dinner, over a cup of tea, is when the real deal starts. Izuku notices his mother and Yagi changing a meaningful glance, probably a code that now it's time to torture him.

"So... honey, how's life besides work? Anything new?", his mother asks carefully.

Izuku avoids eye contact. "Not really, I guess.", he shrugs.

"I hope you don't work too long hours, my boy.", Yagi says.

Izuku shrugs again. "Well, you know what the job is like.", he tells the older man.

"Of course, of course... it just seems as if you are really pushing yourself lately.", Yagi replies.

"We're just a bit worried about you. We never see you anymore, you barely seem to go out with your friends anymore.", his mother adds.

"I went out with Kirishima and Denki last week.", Izuku tries to defend himself half-heartedly.

"And we were really happy to hear that. It's just that you seem to go out less and less.", his mother points out.

"That's not true.", Izuku starts to get irritated, "Actually I am going out again tonight."

"Oh really, with whom?", his mother shoots back. She sees right through him.

"With Denki.", Izuku says without batting an eye. Denki is probably out tonight anyway.

"That's wonderful, Izuku! How about we drive you? Then you can have a drink or two. You came here by car, didn't you?", his mother smiles. Izuku thinks it's a bit fake. It's probably because she knows he is lying to her.

"That'd be great.", he lies, "Let me check where I am supposed to meet Denki."

He pulls out his phone.

> Hey, are you out tonight? Mind if I join?

Denki answers within seconds.

>> Hell, yeah! I'm already out, just come around!

Denki writes and sends his location.

*~*~*~*

Yagi ends up driving him. Izuku feels like a teenager who is driven to a party by one of his parents.

"You know, your mother is just worried about you.", Yagi says into the silence of the car.

"I know but she really shouldn't. I'm fine.", he tells him.

"It's just that she sees the children of her friends and worries you might not have the same opportunities.", Yagi carefully says.

"What do you mean?", Izuku asks irritatedly.

"Well you know, they get married, have children. Mitsuki's been telling how Katsuki brings over his girlfriend. They plan to move in together.", Yagi explains.

Izuku's stomach plummets. They plan to move in together? There goes any hope of reconciliation.

When Izuku doesn't answer, Yagi mistakes his silence for shame.

"You know, there's nothing wrong with being single while you're young. I mean, I've been single for most of my career, but I've got to be honest with you. I regret not having children on my own and while I am very happy with your mother, I wished I had someone to share my pain and happiness when I was younger.", Yagi explains.

Izuku isn't sure what to say. I'd like a partner but he doesn't want me? I can't move on? Even if I could, I probably have no game?

"We both just wish you'd meet someone special.", Yagi finishes as he pulls up to the bar where Izuku meets Denki.

"Well, one does not really have control over that.", Izuku says flatly and gets out of the car.

*~*~*~*

"Izukuuu!! Over here!!", Denki's shrill voice rings through the entire bar. His arms are wrapped around a woman on each of his sides. The girls giggle.

Izuku would like to walk out backward again but there us no turning back now.

"Hey", he greets his blonde friend.

"My man! Was surprised to hear from you!", Denki greets him.

"Anybody else joining tonight?", Izuku asks and Denki shakes his head.

Great, now he can spend the rest of the night watching Deki flirt with random girls.

One of the girls by Denki's side gives Izuku coy eyes. "So, are you Deku? Denki's been telling us about you.", she asks him.

Izuku shoots his friend an angry glare and Denki shrugs apologetically.

"I don't know what he's been telling you, but I can assure you very little that he says is actually true.", Izuku replies dryly.

Before the girl can ask any more questions, Izuku excuses himself to order a drink at the bar.

"A scotch, please.", he tells the bartender without paying too much attention to the other guests.

"Oh, look who we've got here. Are you stalking me, mister?", a voice says next to him.

There you are, again. Your hair hangs loosely over your shoulder and you pop a few peanuts into your mouth.

"Oh, it's you.", Izuku simply says.

"Charming.", you commented dryly.

You look him up and down.

"Why are you dressed like that?", you ask him.

Irritatedly, Izuku turns fully towards you.

"What do you mean?", he says offendedly.

"You look like you were invited to dinner by your girlfriend's parents for the first time", you say pointing at his white button-down shirt.

"I don't have a girlfriend.", he informs you.

You give him a toothy grin. "Good. You're cute.", you tell him.

Izuku shifts uncomfortably. He hates it when women look at him like that. Like he's meat.

"Sorry, I don't do casual dating.", he replies.

"Too bad", you shrug, "What are you doing then?".

"None of your business", he says coldly.

You pursue your lips. "Damn, who hurt you?", you joke.

Izuku doesn't like how you seem to see things no one else does.

"I just have different priorities.", he says.

You take a sip from your drink. "I bet.", you reply.

Finally, the bartender comes back with his drink.

Without another word, he turns to leave.

"See you around, I guess.", he hears you mumble behind him.

He's not sure why he was so rude to you. You didn't do anything wrong. You shot your shoot and took the rejection in good sport. He didn't need to be so mean.

He's not even sure why he rejected you. You look gorgeous just like last time. Your outfit compliments your natural curves and your makeup really made your eye color pop. Usually, you're totally his type. He's just really not in the mood tonight.

He spends the night brooding next to Kaminari. The girls by his side catch on his bad mood and don't bother him all evening.

*~*~*~*

He tries to be more outgoing. Meet friends, do stuff on the weekend. Things to send to his mother to prove he's out there, living his best life.

He's not.

Tonight, he is going out for dinner with Uraraka and Iida. He initiated the meet-up so he really has to go through with it tonight.

He arrives too early and has to wait for the two for a while. The dinner itself was quite pleasant. Iida is too polite to pry too much about his private life and well-being. And Uraraka is busy updating her two friends about her life. Apparently, she met someone through a friend and they are getting quite serious. His mom is going to hate hearing that.

After dinner, the three of them bid goodbye with the promise to meet up more often. Izuku knows that he probably won't be able to fulfill that promise.

He aimlessly wanders the streets. He doesn't want to go home yet. It's a real paradox. When he's home, he doesn't want to go out. And if he's out, he doesn't want to return to his empty apartment.

He's feeling nostalgic tonight so he decides to go to a place that Kacchan showed him when they were still a thing. Or whatever the hell they were.

It's a bar that has seen better days. It's usually quite empty besides some regulars who are twice as old as Izuku. The perfect place if you want to avoid noisy fans and the press.

Izuku slides into the bench that Kacchan and he always sat at. After he has ordered, he takes a look around. It seems as if time stopped in this place. Ironic, he thinks, it seems as if time has stopped for me as well.

Deep in thought, he doesn't notice how the door opens again.

"Daisuke, Hikaru, you here again? Don't you guys have wives at home?", a female voice says loudly.

When he looks up, he immediately wants to hide beneath the table. It's you. Again. Do you have a tracker on him or what? Why do you seem to appear everywhere he is?

Luckily, you're not looking in his direction. Instead, you talk to the middle-aged men on the other side of the room.

"And what about you, missy? What's a pretty young thing like you doing here every other night?", one of the men says. He sounds amused.

You shrug. "Well, what are you doing here? Drinking of course!", you tell them with a grin.

The other man shakes his head disapprovingly.

"You should at least drink with people your age, not old fucks like us!", he tells you.

You stretch your arms widely. "Well, you see any people my age? You old fucks keep invading this place!", you shoot back.

"Well, what about that guy?", the man answers and points directly at Izuku.

He wants to die. Great, here he hoped he could slip out again without you noticing him. He really doesn't want to talk to you. You turn around to him and your eyes light up.

"Hey, I know you! You're the stalker!", you grin.

Izuku looks offended. "I was here first!", he defends himself.

You give the waiter a sign and slide onto the bench in front of him. Great, just what he needed.

"Really? You're alone this time?", you ask him.

He curses you for being so perceptive.

He shrugs. "Maybe some people join me later.", he tells you.

The waiter walks over to the table and sets down a drink in front of you. It looks strong.

You look him straight into his eyes and say: "Liar".

Embarrassment shoots down his back. You take a sip from your drink and laugh.

"I know what lonely drinking looks like. Why do you think I am here?", you tell him.

"I don't know. You're certainly not dressed for a place like this.", he replies.

It's true. You don't look like you belong in a shabby bar like this. You're wearing a bright blue, floor-length ballgown.

You shrug. "What's it to you?", you bite back.

Oh. Izuku's eyebrows raise. He must've hit a sore spot there. Unfortunately for you, he's feeling bitchy tonight.

"Well, you look like one of those bridesmaids that are put into a terrible dress by a bridezilla.", he tells you.

Actually, it's not true. The dress looks gorgeous on you. It fits your skin color and hair updo perfectly. A sour expression appears on your face.

"I wasn't a bridesmaid. I chose the dress for myself.", you tell him.

"Ah, so you were at a wedding!", he says triumphantly. Apparently, he can read you as well as you can him.

You shrug.

"So what's with the lonely drinking then? Why pay for alcohol here when you could've just got drunk for free?", he asks.

"Staying too long at your ex's wedding is bad taste.", you tell him.

"Ah", he says and raises his glass taking a sip, "That's the reason for your lonely drinking? Still stuck on that ex?"

"Ha!", you exclaim. "Yeah, hell no. I'm glad to be rid of him. He's his wife's problem now. Thank god."

Izuku watches you closely. You stir in your drink and keep your eyes fixed on your nails. By the tone of your voice, he doesn't think you're lying. You sound bitter, though.

"Then what?", he asks.

"How old are you?", you reply.

"Twenty-eight. Don't change the topic.", he scolds you.

You shoot him a mean glance.

"I'm not changing the topic.", you tell him.

When he gives you a questioning look, you sit up straight and put your hands on the table.

"Alright, you're twenty-eight, uh...?", you start.

"Izuku", he tells you.

"You're twenty-eight, Izuku. How many of your friends and acquaintances are getting married, moving in with someone, maybe even having kids?", you ask.

"Quite a few.", he admits.

"Alright. Considering you're here, on a weekday, drinking alone, I'm guessing you're not even close to any of those things. How does it feel when someone brings that up?", you explain.

"Not good.", he replies dryly. What is it with you and catching onto things?

You throw your hands up in the air.

"Exactly! And what's the ultimate reminder of that than being invited to your ex's wedding?", you exclaim.

"So... I'm guessing you're far away from those things too?", he asks unsurely.

You give him a deadpan look. "The lonely drinking should've given it away.", you tell him.

You sigh exaggeratedly and lean back. Then, you empty your drink in one go. Izuku watches you slightly perplexed. When you slam down your glass, you give the waiter another sign.

"You know what the stupidest part of this is?", you ask him and he shakes his head.

"I don't even want those things. I'm sure I'm not even made for these things and still, somehow, it makes you feel bad, you know?", you ramble.

Izuku stays silent and takes another sip from his glass. He really doesn't know what he's doing here. Why is he talking to a stranger about things like this?

"You could ask me now what it is that I want.", you say.

Izuku rolls his eyes. "What is it that you want?", he asks.

"Good sex. That's really all I'm asking for but men these days don't deliver.", you reply exasperatedly.

Izuku almost has to laugh.

"Maybe you're just not meeting the right men then.", he tells you.

"Well, I'm meeting men like you.", you point out. There's something cat-ish about you when you say it.

"Maybe tonight is your lucky night then.", he says suddenly feeling cocky.

*~*~*~*

This was definitely not how this evening was supposed to go. He was not supposed to end up at that bar and he definitely wasn't supposed to take you home.

But here you are, on his bed, and him over you.

He already lost his shirt and you run your hands up and down his torso. His mouth is on yours, teeth and tongue clashing against each other.

He can already feel his dick getting hard.

He grabs your waist and pulls you on top of him. Without hesitation, you pull your shirt over your head and he's quick to open your bra. Quickly, you toss it to the side.

Izuku sits up a bit so that both of his hands are free to explore your boobs. Carefully, he kneads them with both hands. He kisses the side of your neck. He plants open-mouthed kisses along your neck, over your collarbone all the way down to one of your nipples. You throw your head back and sigh contently.

He runs the tip of his tongue over the hardened bud. He takes the nipple into his mouth gently sucking on it. All the while massaging it with his tongue.

You let out a moan and grind down on his hardened cock. His dick sits right at your slit. You keep grinding down on him, desperate for friction as he continues to tease your other nipple. You can feel how your panties get damp with each second.

You grab the sides of his head, forcing him to detach from your breast. You lean forward and kiss him again. Izuku runs his hands down your back and grabs your ass cheeks. Then, he helps you grind down on him. You break the kiss to let out a groan.

"Fuck, Izuku! You need to take off these pants!", you tell him.

He gives you a grin. "Same", he tells you.

Quickly, you get off of him and take off your pants and panties. When he's done taking off his pants, you both lie side by side. He pulls you close, your naked body pressing against his, and he claims your lips again.

You let your hands wander down his body. With your index finger you draw lines down his hip and thighs, avoiding his dick completely.

Izuku breaks the kiss and groans. "Don't tease!", he tells you and you laugh.

"So greedy", you nudge him but then give into his request.

Gently you wrap your hand around his hardened member. Izuku lets out a suppressed groan. You start in a slow space pumping his dick up and down. You spread the precum on it to make it feel even smoother.

Izuku plants a kiss on your shoulder and lets a hand wander between your legs. Slowly, he lets two fingers slide in between your warm folds.

"Fuck, you're so wet.", he groans. You shift a bit to give him better access, already panting.

Izuku draws lazy circles on your clit and you can feel more wetness slipping out your hole.

"Mhm, yes, Izuku that feels good.", you moan while still fisting his cock.

Izuku leans his forehead against yours. He dips his fingers a bit deeper, gathering some wetness and spreading it around your pussy.

Then, gently one of his fingers enters you and you can't help but let out a loud moan.

"That feels good, yes?", he mumbles and you nood.

Slowly he pumps his finger in and out of you.

"Shit", you curse. You long lost the ability to focus on pleasing Izuku.

He curls his finger inside you and you jerk.

"Can you take another, baby?", he says huskily and you nod.

He pulls out his finger and pushes two fingers in.

"Fuck!", you exclaim.

You lie back opening your legs wide for him. Izuku slides his fingers in and out you, occasionally curling them inside which almost sends you into a frenzy. He leans down and starts massaging your nipple with his tongue again.

Just when you feel a knot forming in your stomach, he pulls out. You whine in protest but he silences you with a kiss.

"You ready?", he asks you and you nod breathlessly.

He grabs a condom from the nightstand and quickly pushes the latex over his dick. Then, he takes one of your legs and places it over his shoulder. He sits up on his knees and grabs the hollow of your other knee pulling your legs further apart.

"Shit, your pussy looks so ready for me.", he tells you

"Who's the tease now?", you pant.

Izuku gives you a small grin. "Don't worry, I've got you.", he says.

He leads his dick to your entrance and your heart beats in anticipation. Slowly, he pushes his cock into your pussy. You both groan simultaneously in pleasure. He enters you in one swift movement. When his dick is nestled deeply inside you, he takes a deep breath.

"You okay?", he asks you and you give him a curt nod.

You jerk your hips because you're desperate for more friction. You feel so full but it's not enough. You need him to fuck you, to pound you.

"Shit, relax.", he groans when he feels your pussy clench around him.

"I've told you, I've got you. I'm gonna fuck you real good, baby", he groans into the skin of your leg.

Then, he starts rocking in and out of you. He starts with a steady pace.

"Fuck, yes, Izuku! Please, a bit harder!", you beg him.

He gives you a cheeky grin. "Harder? You can get harder.", he tells you.

He starts pounding into you in a heavy pace and you arch your back. Fuck, your pussy feels so good. His dick rubs you in all the right places.

Izuku's dick twitches at the sight of you. Your fucked expression, your jiggling breasts and god, how good looks his dick going in and out of you.

Suddenly, he lifts your other leg and lifts himself a bit higher allowing his dick to sink even deeper into your cunt.

"Shit, yes!", you yell out. Izuku keeps fucking you like this and his balls slap harshly against your ass cheeks.

Now, you can feel the knot in your stomach again.

"Keep going, Izuku, I'm getting there.", you tell him.

Izuku pants heavily above you and sweat drops down his chest. You think he's looking incredibly sexy right now. Also, you can't help but look down where is dick and your cunt are conjoined. The sight of his dick sliding in and out of you makes your stomach coil.

"Fuck, y/n, you feel so good. You make my dick feel like it's about to explode.", he tells you.

You clench your pussy and Izuku moans in delight. He grips your hips tighter and keeps fucking you now chasing his own height. His cock is hitting that sweet spot all the way back inside of you. You can feel the knot in your stomach getting tighter and tighter. You let out a breathless moan and your eyes roll back into your head.

Izuku keeps the pace hard and steady, exactly the way you need to get over the edge. When your orgasm hits you, it feels like electric shocks going down your back, your pussy clenches and then your body suddenly goes limp.

"Fuck, fuck, fuck.", Izuku groans taking up speed when he sees you orgasm on his cock. He fucks you through it and his own orgasm explodes right at the feeling of your clenching pussy. He fucks himself through his own high and then collapses on top of you.

It takes a moment for both of you to regain some thinking capacities. When his consciousness returns to him, Izuku slips out of you. You're lying next to each other, both facing the ceiling catching your breath.

„And? Did I deliver?“, Izuku pants.

He can't see it but you give him a side-eye. The questions weirds you out. Does he really need to get praised? Does he need to get approval so badly? Well, it supposedly makes sense. A pro-hero depends on the praise and approval of other people. You think it's a little bit pathetic. If he hadn't fucked you already, it'd be a major turn-off.

In all honesty, though, he did deliver. It was more than just good. He clearly proved he's got the stamina of a pro-hero. However, you don't stroke men's egos. Most men have a big enough ego as it is, so why inflate it further? Plus, this guy has girls fawning at his feet and you refuse to steep down on a groupie level. No, thank you.

For a moment you think about being mean and saying something like it was „alright“ or „okay“ but you take pity on the man. He made you cum, so you shouldn't be mean. Also, you wouldn't say no to him doing it to you again. So, be nice and keep the option open.

„I'm not sure what you expect me to say.“, you tell him truthfully and Izuku looks a bit embarassed.

„I'm not gonna sing your praise, but I tell you it was good. Definitely would do it again, but I've got an 8am appointment tomorrow.“, you say a bit softer.

Izuku props himself up on his arm as he watches you look for your clothes and dress yourself. Obviously, he knew this was nothing serious but he lowkey hoped you stayed the night. He knows Katsuki's girlfriend was a one-night stand at first who then turned into something more. Maybe part of him hoped something like that would happen to him too. Or maybe he just doesn't want to be alone tonight.

When you're dressed, you turn to him.

„Alright, I better get going.“, you tell him and Izuku only nods at you.

He doesn't really know what to say. Actually, he probably just sucks at one-night stands. It's probably why none of them ever turned out to be something more for him.

„So... see you around?“, you drawl when he doesn't answer you.

Quickly, Izuku puts on one of his well-practiced smiles and nods more enthusiastically.

„Yeah, see you around. I had a good time.“, he tells you and you look relieved. At least he isn't making it more uncomfortable than these things usually are.

You give him a quick wave and turn around to leave. Izuku holds his breath until he hears his front door fall shut. With a groan, he drops back onto his pillow facefirst.

Why does he keep doing this? He should know better. He's not made for these types of flings. He doesn't even want them. Izuku is a through-and-through relationship type of guy and yet he always ends up alone at the end of the night.

Maybe he can't hold someone's attention for more than a night or maybe Kacchan just ruined him for everybody else.

*~*~*~*

You fix the position of your panties as you wait for the elevator to reach the ground level. You quickly look in the mirror. Your hair and makeup look awful. Suddenly, you're very glad you're not staying the night. Nothing would be more shameful than to walk home like this in the morning.

You rub your temple. Your plan was to take somebody home from the wedding. So that your ex would see. Maybe that was already a stupid idea. Why would he care if his ex takes somebody home on his wedding day? It's the luckiest day in his life and there's a reason why it wasn't you standing next to him in a white dress.

Actually, it's probably for the best you didn't take someone home from the wedding. Maybe he would've laughed about it and said it fits the pattern. Y/n, the mess, never taking anything seriously, always out there for a good time but not a long time. At least like this, you left with your grace intact. Also, it helps a little bit that you looked absolute bomb in this dress.

You sigh deeply. And yet, he would've been right. After all, you had nothing better to do than go find yourself a hook-up at a random bar right afterward. Poor Izuku, he made it clear last time that he wasn't interested in something like this. And yet, he ended up in your spider's web. You wonder what changed his mind. Maybe it was the dress.

When the elevator reaches the ground, you quickly exit it and walk through the lobby in an equally quick step. There's no need for anybody to see you like this. You're almost out of the door when the post boxes next to the entry catch your eye. You stop for a moment.

No, y/n, this is a stupid idea, you tell yourself. He won't text anyway. What was that about not stepping down onto a groupie level? Then again, it was a pretty good orgasm. Hell, one of the best ones you had in quite a while.

Maybe you're still horny or drunk from earlier, clouding your better judgement, but before you can stop yourself, you pushed your business card through the slit of Izuku's post box.

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

[Please comment if you'd like to be tagged in possible future parts]

[morganbritton132]

I love the series and everything about it is *chefs kiss*

The broke ankle tags made me laugh so much and honestly the idea of Steve just being such a tank that he doesn’t even realize he’s seriously injured himself is so canon.

Can’t wait for the corresponding compilation toks of Steve just doing everything you aren’t supposed to do with a broken ankle.

Also since we all obviously are obsessed with bitchy Steve I need bitchy Steve coming out of anesthesia or something similar. Just not even a bit aware but confident as hell that he is not wrong.

I appreciate you and thank you so much for this series! It’s my favorite part of the day ❤️

Thank you!!!!! This is so good, but I am going to leave Steve on anesthesia for another time because I got a different ask that mentions it and I’m going to focus on Steve completely disregarding everything the doctors told him.

To be fair though, Steve was not listening.

They’d already given painkillers by the time they started explaining things and frankly, it was boring. Steve was a high school athlete and a teenaged monster hunter. He’s had his fair share of injuries. He’s sprained his ankle before and this isn’t much different. Same arena, different game. It’s like how the ice rink is used for hockey and figure skating.

“It’s not like that at all,” Eddie tells him after painstakingly carrying Steve into the house (something that was much easier to do when they were in their twenties) and into their bedroom. He elevates Steve’s foot. He gets his water and a snack, and an extra blanket so he has no reason to get up, and he finds Steve in the kitchen the next morning. Standing on his injured ankle.

Eddie films him – mainly to send to Robin but also to prove once and for all that Steve is not the sensible one. He starts with Steve’s messy bedhead and goes down his body, pass his Scooby Doo pajama pants to Steve’s bandaged ankle. He’s got an ice pack rested against it so there’s that.

Eddie doesn’t say anything like he’s at a lose for words and then just, “Why?”

For everybody following Eddie’s page, you get to see him become visibly more and more stressed every time he posts something. He posts a video of Steve on the way to see if he needs surgery and Steve is explaining his hockey metaphor again. He also says, “It’s probably just a sprain. It feels like one. What do they know anyways?”

“What do the doctors know?” Eddie asks. “Lucas was the one that said it was broken.”

“Lucas once forgot that bowls exist, Eddie.”

He posts a complication later that day because Steve is definitely going to have to have surgery because he definitely broke his ankle. Steve is doing his absolute most to be doing anything while still technically following the rules.

The doctor said ice, elevate, and rest.

In Eddie’s compilation, Steve is vacuuming but he’s laying on the floor with his feet propped up on the couch so it’s still technically elevated. Steve ices his ankle with a slushie he produced out of thin air in the time it took Eddie to check the mail. He swears he never got up.

Steve nearly falls on his ass using crutches, alternating between the bedroom and the living room so he can ‘rest.’ Eddie takes Ozzy out and finds Steve cooking, but he’s got his ankle resting on the counter (Steve is not that flexible, this one hurt him).

The compilation ends with Ozzy getting fed up with both of them and laying on Steve so he can’t move.

[midgardian-witch]

Can you write from the prompt list, “Because I think I might like you and that thought in and of itself terrifies me.” with our lovely Steven Grant? ♥️ Thank you!!

Of course! I am always happy to write for our beloved Steven 💙

Work-Love-Balance

tags: co-workers/friends to lovers | fluff | gn!reader

ships: Steven Grant/Reader

AO3

Edit: added AO3 link

“Because I think I might like you and that thought in and of itself terrifies me.”

It feels like you haven't seen Steven in ages. Every time you share a shift with him at the museum he vanishes into the storage room. When you go to the fountain where you usually spend your lunch break together you only find the golden human statue waiting for you. You didn’t even manage to hang out with him after work anymore either. The first few times you think it's just bad luck.

You text him and Steven is quick to respond every time with a sensible response. Oh, he got picked to take new merchandise from storage. He's so sorry, he took his break a little earlier and you must have just missed him. He’s busy after work, he’s too exhausted, he’s not feeling well.

The days go by and you feel more and more like Steven was avoiding you, that this all happened on purpose.

So you decided to take matters into your own hands and visit Steven at home where he (hopefully) couldn't avoid you.

An older lady, one of his neighbors, let you into the apartment building so now you are standing outside his door, doubting your own plan. You take a deep breath and knock on the door. You hear rattling inside the flat, then footsteps. The door opens a little and you see Steven's face through the small crack that formed. He looks confused, nose all scrunched up until he recognizes you. His face lights up and then freezes. Steven stammers your name nervously before unlocking the door and opening it fully.

“W-Why are you here? Did something happen? I didn't forget to go into work, did I?”

You shake your head with a smile, “Nothing like that. I just missed you and thought that maybe we could hang out?”

“I- Well I don’t-”

You stop him from coming up with another excuse by giving him the saddest puppy eyes you can muster.

“Please? I’ve missed you, Steven!”

You swear you can see him blush as he mumbles "OK, come in" and lets you inside.

You walk into his flat, a messy but cozy space you've been to a few times before. While Steven closes his door again behind you, you make yourself comfortable on his couch.

"I know you've been busy lately so I hope I haven't disturbed you."

He shuffles over to you, wringing his hands in front of himself.

"No, not at all. I was just…", he vaguely gestures towards the books strewn about the coffee table.

Steven seems more nervous than usual. You look at him concerned. "I didn't want to just come by unannounced but every time I asked you were busy. I just-"

You sigh and shake your head.

"It feels like you're avoiding me."

He sits down next to you and swallows hard. Steven takes a deep breath and looks at you, his eyes sad. He looks guilty.

"I'm sorry."

You didn't think he would admit it. You still had some hope that it was all a coincidence and you were making it all up in your head.

"Why? Why were you avoiding me?"

“Because I think I might like you and that thought in and of itself terrifies me.”

Steven stumbles over the words and then freezes again, like he never meant for them to leave his mouth.

You blink at him. "But…I like you too! We're friends, right?"

Steven visibly grows frustrated. "Not like that. I like you.", he emphasizes the word by looking at you intently, brows furrowed in concentration.

You take a moment for the meaning behind his words to hit you and your eyes widen.

Oh.

You can feel your cheeks heat up and a goofy grin slowly creeps onto your lips.

"I- that's- Steven."

Your heart flutters in your chest. You've always liked Steven; gentle, funny, kind Steven. This feels like a dream.

"I like you too. Very much so."

Steven blinks like he too feels like he is dreaming, mouth hanging open in disbelief.

"Y-Yeah?"

You nod, smiling. Your hands reach out towards his and he gasps at the contact. He looks between your hands and your face in wonder. Slowly his mouth stretches into the same goofy, happy grin you are wearing yourself. You couldn't believe your luck to have found someone so wonderful who liked loved you too.

[muddyorbsblr]

all the right answers

See the full 14 Days Collection here! See my full list of works here!

Summary: You have to ready yourself for a renewal test on one of your certifications and your best friend and roommate Tom wants to prove to you that you're ready with a little game.

Pairing: Tom Hiddleston x Reader

Word Count: 3.2k words

Warnings: 18+ | smut (minors & pearl clutchers i better not see you here *shakes fist*); fingering; oral sex (f receiving); implied p in v at the end; technical jargon involving the Java programming language [let me know if i missed anything!]

Things to be aware of: besties to lovers; and they were roommates

Why am I even doing this, it's not like I'm gonna use this certification ever again. I don't even code anymore, you thought derisively to yourself as you went over the review questions of the exam you hadn't thought about since you passed it over five years ago.

The groan that escaped you was hoarse, as if your throat was scratched up from going almost the entire day without any use and without any water. When you leaned back in your chair and stretched your arms above your head, you could swear you heard joints cracking and popping decades before they were even supposed to.

"Isn't this a pretty sight," a playful, unjustly beautiful voice floated into the room, followed by the jarring sensation of large hands grabbing hold of you by your ribs and proceeding to tickle you. Your eyes snapped open and your heart stuttered at the sight of Tom's face hovering so close to yours with a brilliant, devious grin on his face.

"Stoooop!" you pleaded as you broke out into giggles, trying and failing to twist your body out of his hold, your hands weakly pushing at his shoulders as your stomach began to ache from laughing so much.

It was only when your laughter became less audible and began to sound more like your voice was heaving through sandpaper that he let up and pulled you into a warm embrace, lifting you out of the chair and off your feet. "How goes your reviewing?"

You groaned again as you rested your head on his shoulder. "Remind me again why I'm doing this?"

"Don't ask me, love. I'm just as confused as you are. You really don't need to go through this…what is it again? A renewal exam?" You nodded your head from its position on his shoulder. "Our line of work doesn't seem to require that type of certification anyway," he chuckled, and you felt him press a quick kiss to the side of your head, your heart once again jumping in your chest.

"But it looks pretty on my resume under Miscellany," you explained in a playful tone. "Plus the test's still free and next week's the only free time I have to actually go there and take the renewal test. It's either the free test with 20 questions or taking the entire thing from the start. 75 questions, Tom. I don't have the brain power to mentally prepare for 75 questions!"

You froze as you realized that you were still off the ground, in his arms, your comparatively soft body pressed against his sculpted form. Too close. Even if he was your dearest friend, and you'd been living together for the better part of the year.

Actually, especially because he was your dearest friend and you'd been living together for the better part of the year. You two had a good thing going, and there was no sensible reason for you to fuck it up by letting it be known to him that you'd started to develop feelings.

"Erm…you should--probably put me down now." You let out a small squeak as he proceeded to walk further into your bedroom, briefly adjusting his hold on you to secure you in his arms. A few large strides later and he gently sat you down on the edge of your bed, lightly touching your chin before stepping away from you. You made a motion to follow him, make it back to your desk to keep studying, but he held a finger up at your direction, a playful stern look in his eyes as his gaze pinned you where you sat. "What're you up to, BumBum?"

"Firstly, you are never to hang around with Ben for that nickname alone. You're two halves of a whole menace."

"Only half?!" you pouted. "I gotta up my game then."

"And secondly, I'm going to prove to you that you're ready for your exam. I'll give you seven questions. Randomized from this list you've compiled." He waved around the paper you'd been scribbling in for the last three days.

"I know I'm not ready."

"Tell you what, love. You get every question right and I'll take you out to dinner tonight. That Italian place you love."

"Tom, no, that's the one where you get papped every time you even go there to pick up an order. We'll figure something else out. And besides, I'm not gonna get them all right." He rolled his eyes at you. "I'm not kidding, BumBum."

"Dinner. Like I said." He looked over your reviewer one more time, the look of concentration in his eyes as his lips moved in hurried motions, mouthing the words to himself, putting you in a haze. "First question. What's a ternary operator?"

This is a bad idea already I should've stopped him the second I remembered how sexy he made Math sound and now he's out here making me reconsider returning to Java from this alone. You tried to clear your head of any crude thoughts that always seemed to fill your mind whenever you were within the same breathing space as the man. "It's a condensed version of an if-then-else statement. Makes what could have been at least three lines of code into just one."

He nodded, putting the reviewer down and walking towards you, taking your hand and lifting it up to press his lips to your knuckles. "Very good."

"Uhh…what was that?" Your mind was reeling from that little kiss. He'd never done that before; at most he'd kissed your hair or your temples, never anywhere else.

"Making things more interesting," he answered, a tiny smile playing at the corners of his mouth. "For every correct answer, I give you a reward."

You could feel arousal beginning to pool between your thighs at the implication behind his words. Surely he wasn't suggesting…? No. You were buds. That was all you were, and you'd resigned yourself to that knowledge long ago. In a desperate attempt to lighten up the atmosphere between you two, you commented, "I don't remember agreeing to a kiss as my reward, BumBum."

"Oh no, darling. Your reward comes at the end, if you answer all seven questions correctly. These rewards are for me." He chuckled as your eyes widened at his words, leaning in until his lips were mere inches away from your cheek. "Give me an example of a redundant import."

How is it even possible that the sexy instructor voice got even hotter? you thought as you began to ache even more for him. "Importing a c-class that belongs to the same p-package," you stammered.

He hummed an "mmhmm" before pressing his lips to your cheek in a soft kiss, feeling his hand wrap around the side of your waist as he did to pull you closer to him by the slightest. "Now give me the other one."

How your mind was still able to pull the answer from your stock knowledge was beyond you. "Importing java dot lang. All new classes by default have it as a silent import." You fought against the instinct to melt into his touch when you felt him press a kiss much closer to the corner of your mouth. "So that's three down--"

"No. Two." He pulled you closer against him as he brought his free hand up to lightly hold your chin and turn your head to face him. "I said every correct answer, not every question answered correctly. And at the moment I will cling to those semantics because I wanted an excuse to kiss you again."

He leaned in closer, his lips so close to yours you could feel the warm breath of his exhales on your skin. "Tom, what are you doing?"

"I believe the internet would call it 'ruining the friendship'." A sound got caught in your throat at his admission. "But personally I don't see this as ruining. Perhaps…augmenting. Making something already great…even better. If that's what you want, too." He touched his nose to yours. "If it is, then you answer this correctly. If not, then answer wrong, we stop this, and forget it happened."

Holy mother of fuck. This can't be happening. Is he actually telling me he feels the same?! "Next question, then," you murmured, fighting the urge to just skip everything and close the distance between you two.

"What is the term for freeing memory on the heap by deleting--"

"Garbage collection." His gaze met yours, the intensity in them increasing your ache for him as a devilish grin formed on his face. "Don't bother making me wait I know I'm right--"

Your words were silenced as he captured your lips in a searing kiss, his hand moving from your chin to cup the back of your head. You whimpered against him as his lips moved against yours, his hands moving so that they were on either side of your waist, maneuvering you so that you were straddling his lap. "Next question?"

"Fucking hell you wanna keep going after you just kissed me breathless?"

He only answered you with a chuckle as his hands began to roam your sides, moving his head to hover his lips close to your neck. "I'm still proving that you're ready, love." He lightly traced along the column of your neck with his nose as his hands worked their way down to the hem of your sundress. "Why do you need both the development kit and the runtime environment?"

The thoughts began to fog in your head as his hands slid under your dress and caressed the skin of your thighs, working their way to the waistband of your panties. You tried to form words, but it all came out in unintelligible whimpers.

"Come on, Y/N, answer the question because I really want to kiss you again."

"Just kiss me, then," you hissed. "Please, I want this, too. Kiss me whenever, wherever, and  however you want just please--"

The words left your mouth as he flipped you over to your back on the bed, your back landing against the mattress with a soft thud and a little squeak escaping your lips. "Tempting as that is, I really do want you to succeed in this exam of yours, so please don't make anything harder than it already is." He emphasized his point by rolling his hips into yours, the feel of his covered erection rubbing against your clothed and aching slit causing you to let out an obscene moan of his name. "Please. So that we could start working on our…something better."

You took a steadying breath and composed your answer. "So that you could see not only if the code compiles, but you can see how it runs as intended or if there would be any runtime errors that won't be caught if you just have the development kit."

"Good girl," he groaned, leaning down and bringing his lips to the point between your neck and shoulder, lightly sucking on the skin and letting out a sound that resembled a mix of a sigh and a hum, the vibrations against you making a beeline for your aching, throbbing clit.

He kept his lips on you as his hands began to hike up your dress up your thighs, bunching the fabric around your waist.

"I can't believe you memorized that entire reviewer," you blurted out, your mind still a haze with what had just transpired over the last few minutes, and yet also reeling with the possibilities of what else he had in store with his three remaining questions.

"I've memorized pages worth of Shakespearean dialogue, my love, this is nowhere near as difficult--"

"Your love?" you cut him off, the endearment making your heart pound in your chest.

He pulled away from you just enough to look at you, his steel blue eyes shining brilliantly with so much emotion you felt as if you were drowning in them. "Yes," he murmured. "I've loved you for quite some time. And these last few months have felt like the world was taunting me with what a life with you could be like if I could just stop being a coward and tell you how I felt. I didn't want to rush into it. I was willing to go as slow as you wanted for fear of scaring you off--"

"I love you, too." The smile that broke out on his face was so blindingly beautiful it tugged on your heartstrings. "I never told you because I thought there was no way in this world you'd feel the same so I friend zoned myself on your behalf. That way I'd never have to live through the pain of having you do it."

"We're fools," he huffed out, breaking into relieved chuckles.

"Guess you could say we're two halves of a whole idiot."

A devious grin overtook his features as he leaned down, his lips hovering over yours again. "Then we should finish this session of ours. So that we may make up for lost time." He surprised you by pressing a quick kiss to your lips. "Question Five?"

You nodded, your breathing growing heavy as his hands returned to the waistband of your panties, his lips ghosting over your skin as he made his descent downward, stopping at the side of your lower stomach, fingers hooking under your waistband. "Answer this one correctly and I'm going to take these off. Is that alright?"

"Yes!" you nearly shouted, desperate for this little game to be over so that you could get to that 'making up for lost time' that he mentioned. "Ask me already. I need you," you whined.

"What happens to the value of a literal when you put an underscore?"

You scrambled inside your brain for the answer. Fuck, you could have sworn you just looked at that page. "N-Nothing," you answered, a relieved smile across your face. "The underscores are just for the readability and for the benefit of other developers who would have to move within that code in the future."

"My beautiful little genius," he breathed against your skin, pressing his lips to the side of your hip as his hands made quick work of tugging your cheeky underwear down your legs, discarding it on the floor with a little flick of his wrist, all the while kissing and sucking at the spot by your hip it was sure to leave a mark. "This next one has four answers, my love."

Your eyes widened as he sank to the floor, placing the backs of your knees on his shoulders, lips hovering by the inside of your thigh. "So…four kisses?"

He lightly ran the tip of his nose along the soft skin, making you shudder at the sensual tenderness of it all. "Yes, darling. Now tell me…Where can you not place an underscore in your literals?"

You bit your lip as you anticipated his lips on your skin. "The beginning and the end of the literal…" A soft whimper escaped you as he placed a soft kiss on the lower half of your inner thigh, followed by another kiss on the opposite leg. Then he carefully moved your body further down on the edge of the bed, the backs of your thighs now resting on his broad shoulders. "Before and after a decimal point."

"Sweetheart," he groaned, pressing a kiss higher up on your inner thigh, so tantalizingly close to where you were desperate for him. "You're so gorgeously drenched for me." He placed the fourth kiss on the opposite thigh before facing your sex with eyes that you could only describe as ravenous, his pupils almost completely blown out and darkening his eyes with his now obvious intent. "I think you know where the next one will be."

The ability to form words had all but left your brain, the only coherent one left being a barely audible, "Fuck…"

"No, my darling. That's for after your reward." You hid your head in the crook of your elbow at the sound of his low chuckle, undoubtedly seeing how your core clenched around air at his words.  "Final question?" You shuddered as you felt his fingers trace along your folds and teasingly circle around your clit.

"Yes. F-fuck please just ask me I can't take any more."

"We need to work on your endurance then," he murmured, making you shudder and clench around nothing again. "But I can't wait anymore, either. So final question. How do you compare two strings against one another and why?"

You sighed in relief, hearing a question that you'd rehearsed time and time again since you graduated college. "Dot equals method. Because if you use double equals the way you compare literals it will compare the object's address within the heap, and not the value stored within the String object." The words escaped you as if by muscle memory.

"I told you you're ready, darling," were his last words before he once again pulled your body closer to him and your hips left the bed as his lips closed around the throbbing bundle of nerves above your entrance and two sinfully long fingers easily slipped inside your drenched heat.

The world began to blur into nothing as you drowned in the sensation of him licking and sucking at your clit, your words reducing to nothing but whimpers of his name and babbled pleas of more. When his fingers curled up and began to relentlessly stroke at that spot inside you that had you seeing stars in the back of your eyes, your hips begun to buck against his mouth. "Tom please," you squeaked, your desperation growing. "I'm--"

"Look at me, darling," he murmured against you, the sensation shooting straight up your spine and into the back of your head. "Look at me while you come."

Your eyes snapped open and met his ardent stare, every limb in your body growing weak at both seeing and feeling his smirk before he began to speed up his ministrations, winking at you before he let out a drawn out moan that pushed you off the edge.

He eased you from your climax in long, slow licks and strokes until your breathing evened out before pulling his mouth away and withdrawing his fingers from you. You braced yourself as you felt him slowly moving up your body. "Last question."

"Are you…fucking…kidding me?" you managed to say between pants, looking up into his near-blackened eyes.

"Indulge me, Y/N. Please?"

"Fine."

You let out a whimper as you began to feel the tip of his cock brush against your folds. "Will you be mine?"

All air left your lungs again as you looked at him, the unmistakable desperation reflected in his own eyes. You nodded your head, quickly feeling your arousal begin to build again as a devilish grin spread across his face, lips shining in the light from your release. "Yes," you breathed out, whimpering weakly how much you loved him as he inched inside of you.

A/N: Was this entirely self-indulgent because I myself am a Java developer with that exact certification and I wanted to use my knowledge for something other than my day job? For sure. Did I pull those review questions out of my own personal notes? Absolutely. Did I have a sinfully hot best friend who helped me review like YN did in this story? Hahahahahaha next question pls nobody touch me 🥲

Also this was the story that won the poll today, but I'm still waiting to see who's gonna win second place because that's what's gonna go up for Day 3 👀🫡

'everything' taglist: @lokisgoodgirl @lokischambermaid @imalovernotahater @mygfloki @lucylaufeyson3 @thomase1 @fictive-sl0th @mochie85 @laliceee @xorpsbane @gigglingtigger @silverfire475 @cabingrlandrandomcrap @vickie5446 @salempoe @lokixryss @sinsandguilt @lokidbadguy @alexakeyloveloki @glitterylokislut @cakesandtom @girl-of-multi-fandoms @mischief2sarawr @thedistractedagglomeration @five-miles-over @goblingirlsarah @huntress-artemiss @lilibet261 @holymultiplefandomsbatman @lovingchoices14 @devilsadvocactus @lokiprompts @sititran @ladyjames78 @kikster606 @evelyn-kingsley @kats72 @ronnieissupermegafoxyawesomehot @creationsbyme @coldnique @athalialaufeyson @simplyholl @tallseaweed @sarahscribbles @unlucky-number-13 @ozymdias @maple-seed @ladyofthestayingpower @wolfsmom1 @km-ffluv @psychospore @loopsisloops

[blarefordaglare]

this post used to be linked universe memes but because I don’t know where I got it from and want to give credit from now on instead I’ll just put a cr*cliff I made

TW: None, unless tying people to chairs is considered a crime?

“I’m not cooking tonight.” The familiar voice of the champion rang through the camp, “I swear if I cook fish one more night in a row I will turn into a cod.”

Normally, a refusal to cook, from the designated cook, would send alarm bells through the chain. But he had a point. This would mark the 17th night they ate fish (Yay, thanks Wind), and honestly, everyone was getting sick of it, even the sailor himself. 

“Ho-Kay then, so what are we going to eat?”

“Have you guys been to a restaurant before?” 

…

This is when chaos ensues.

“Okay, so you are a party of nine?” A waitress stood in front of the chain. 9 heroes, in probably the worst attire to wear for a fancy restaurant, standing right before her.

Time quickly stepped in, “Yes, nine. Five adults and four children.” That earned him a very aggressive poke on the shoulder.

“Old man, I’m over one hundred years old, I think a hundred and seventeen is over eighteen years of age.” 

“Oh hush you, this bill is already gonna be expensive, plus judging by how you literally ATE a rock the other day, I think we can subtract a century.” 

“Just shut up you both. I am famished.” The pink haired boy let out a dramatic sigh. He just wanted his food.

“Drama Queen.”

All settled around a booth, at the ripe time of 19:17, the boys and men were ready to eat most definitely. 

“Sailor, don’t fill up on bread.” The captain mentioned, slyly moving the bread basket away from the teenager. 

“Oh-ohm-ohn, Imf a owin oy!” The sailor retaliated (or so that’s what it sounded like anyway, you can’t really tell when someone’s mouth is full.)

“Um, ma’am? I think we’re ready to order.” Twilight spoke up. He was stuck between Legend and Warriors, making sure that they don’t beat each other up. Not sure how he got into the beautiful position of family therapist, but it’s whatever.

“Time?”

“Yes Sky?”

“What’s a medium rare?”

“Oh it’s when the meat is only partially cooked!”

“Okay, miss? May I please have a medium rare chicken?” The innocent boy asked. Legend stifled a laugh, and Hyrule looked a little bit shocked.

“Um… I’ll see what I can do, and you sir?”

“I’ll take… actually I’m full!” Wind replied. He could have sworn he heard someone mumble ‘called it.’ But didn’t say anything.

“Oh okay, what about you?” She looked over at Four, who looked deep in thought.

“I’ll have the stuffed bell peppers, but WHATEVER YOU DO… do not use the green bell peppers… or someone is going to get hurt.” Maybe threatening wasn’t the best idea, but then again it’s also a complete valid reason if you are completely afraid of green bell peppers… according to Four and only Four.

“Mhm… got it? And you?”

“Okay lady, listen up. I would like some pizza, but without the crust, and hold off on the cheese.” Legend earned himself a flick from Twilight, “…Please.”

“So… just sauce?”

“Whatever you call it.”

“May I please have the fried wild greens?” Twilight *politely* asked.

“Of course! What about you?” Her eyes fell on Warriors. 

“Do you have any dates?”

“No sir, this is a restaurant.”

“Well, would you like to orange a date?” The waitress’s cheeks flushed, before she quickly moved on to the next Link. 

“Quick question, is the water that you have drinkable?” Hyrule asked, eying his glass. The waitress slowly nodded her head in confusion. “Alright, then I’ll eat a red potion.”

“I’m just going to completely ignore that request, as I have no idea what a red potion is.”

“I’ll have the steak, if it’s no trouble.” Time politely requested. Aside from Twilight, he was basically the only one with a sensible dish. 

“Of course and what about… you?” The waitress looked down to where wild was supposed to be sitting, but somehow he was not there.

“Okay who kidnapped our archer?” Legend bluntly asked. 

“Give me a minute,” Time stood up, “I know where he is.”

…

“Wild!”

“Okay, and then you see this is how you fry-“

“WILD!”

The champion almost dropped the pan from the harshness of the old man’s voice, “What?!”

“Tell me why you are in the kitchen that says EMPLOYEES ONLY??”

“Because! They weren’t cooking it right. I’m teaching them.”

“Champion, tying people to chairs and forcing them to watch you cook isn’t ‘teaching’.”

“Oops”

“What are you making anyway?”

“Fish.”

[loverhymeswith]

I am thinking of a fic with Tommy to “the lakes” by Taylor Swift. Maybe the reader is trying to escape the criminal lifestyle, and essentially is begging Tommy to come away with her to live in the country away from all the danger… But he just can’t seem to let go. There’s a sort of comfort in the chaos for him. Lots of angst I think.

Calamitous Love

Pairing: Tommy Shelby x F!Reader

Summary: Enough is enough. You present Tommy with an ultimatum.

Word Count: 1.4K

Warnings: Pure angst, swearing

A/N: Thank you for the request, Anon. This was heavily inspired by season six. Thank you @a-reader-and-a-writer for the beta ❤️

In the early hours of the morning, you watch him leave.

Dense fog shrouds the grounds of the Arrow House estate, but amidst the dull, muted grey, the pitch black stallion is a dark silhouette, harsh hooves crunching over the gravel as it gallops along the length of the driveway and beyond, towards the rolling Warwickshire hills.

With a heavy heart, you relinquish your vigil at the window, the linen curtains falling back into place as you sweep across the bedroom, concern quickening your pace.

Like the consumption currently ravaging the nation, sleep’s reluctance to claim your husband is contagious, his torment and madness spreading through the cursed house and infecting all those in its path.

You’d fought again, this evening. The same old story. How much more was he prepared to lose before enough was enough? Couldn’t he just rest?

But these days, getting a sensible response out of Thomas Shelby is akin to drawing blood from stone. 

You dress in darkness. Riding boots and a woollen coat to protect you from the autumn chill. Silent footsteps along the hallway and whispered words through Frances’ door; a harried plea for her to watch over the children. It pains you to leave them, but - one way or another - this will be the last time.

It’s quiet outside as dawn prepares to break over the crest of the hills; a stillness in the air, charged and expectant, even beyond the blanket of fog. The stable boys won’t report for duty for another hour, but you can saddle your own horse or better still, ride bareback. Years of banquets and ballrooms haven’t yet turned you soft. 

You take the white mare; the gentle creature is your favourite. Beneath her calm exterior, there’s a wildness threatening to escape. Her pace might be no match for Thomas’ horse, but she’s a kindred spirit, requiring no instruction as she breaks into a gallop and follows in the black stallion’s wake. 

The wind whips your face as you ride across the foothills and dales, mist and drizzle plastering strands of damp hair to your brow. Tears stream down your burning cheeks as you clutch the reins tightly. When was the last time you felt so alive? So free?

It was long before politics. Before the Italians and the Irish. Before bookmaking and Billy Kimber. Before the war.

Before death had set up camp outside your front door.

The sun has risen by the time you reach him, rays of watery light escaping through the silver haze. Perched atop the rocky outcropping, your husband is a lone figure, surveying his kingdom from the mountain peak. You know why he came here: isolation; solitude; remorse.

As soon as you dismount, your mare trots off in search of the stallion. She has no desire to bear witness to this conversation. Sensible girl. 

White smoke curls around Tommy’s head as you approach, his grey cap is discarded on the rock face along with a handful of spent cigarettes. The subtle shift of his shoulders is the only indication he is aware of your presence.

The words, well-rehearsed despite your fervent reluctance to speak them over the last ten years, catch in your throat, but you can put this off no longer. It’s now or never.

“I’m leaving, Thomas.” Your voice breaks, just as you knew it would, each bitter syllable burning your tongue.

Any sense of relief you hoped to feel is unforthcoming; the ever-present tightness in your chest remains. You’re not sure what you expected… something rather than nothing. Tangible evidence of the weight of your words. But perhaps, like the consequences of a vengeful curse, patience is in order.

Tommy stubs out his cigarette but makes no move to turn around. Maybe you should have been brave enough to face him while you spoke, but it’s easier this way. Those blue eyes get you every damn time.

“You came all the way out here just to tell me that, eh?” 

His tone is entirely devoid of emotion, just as it has been for the last seven months. Even when you fight, he doesn’t get angry anymore. Once upon a time he would trade you, blow for blow. Now, he simply walks away.

“You can’t shut the door on me out here.”

Slowly, as if it’s causing him great pain to do so, Tommy looks over his shoulder. His cold stare is as lifeless as his words. “What do you want me to say? Sounds like your mind's made up.”

You didn’t come here for an argument. The fight finally left you last night when he didn’t follow you to bed. Instead of arming yourself with more words, as ineffectual as the weapons that have tried to kill him over the years, you slip out of your boots and pad barefoot across the wet grass. 

Kneeling on the ground before him, you take his face between your hands, his skin as chilled as your own. You force yourself to look at him. To really see him. Glacial eyes, rung by dark shadows, have lost their sparkle; his cheeks are sharper, his chapped lips drawn tight and his strong brow furrowed. A shade of the man you once knew. 

“What happened to you, my love?”

Tommy looks away, freeing himself from your touch, and you force yourself to ride out the heart-stopping wave of hurt alone. You both know the answer. Some things don’t need to be spoken out loud.

“I’m leaving,” you repeat, more softly this time, reaching for his hands, “but I don’t want to go without you.”

The truth hangs heavy in the air between you. And it is the truth. Despite the constant pain… despite the insurmountable grief that his actions have wrought, you still want him. You can’t bear to imagine life without him; Thomas Shelby, your calamitous love.

Tommy allows you to lace his fingers together with your own. He has the courtesy, at least, to meet your gaze when he responds.

“There is business.”

You squeeze his hand. “Fuck business. I don't belong here Tommy, and neither do you.”

“You think I don’t know that, eh?” A cocktail of sorrow and anger spills through the cracks in his words. “You think I don’t hear that every minute of every day? The workers say I’ve betrayed them. The rich will never accept me as one of their own.”

“Since when did Tommy Shelby ever feel the need to fit in?”

With your free hand, you stroke his cheek. His eyes shutter as he leans into your touch, his warm breath visible as he exhales into the frigid air. “I’m trying to make a difference.”

“Is changing the world really worth risking your family?” 

You don’t wait for him to answer. Your knees are straining against the cold ground and you climb into his lap instead, surprised when he doesn’t resist. It’s been too long since he held you this close and you welcome the warmth of his arms as they wrap around your waist.

“I’m not cut out for this. For any of it,” you tell him calmly as he tucks you beneath his chin. “I’ve stood by your side through all of it. I thought I could handle whatever they had to throw at us. The vendettas, the Russians. We’ve survived so much. But I don’t want to just survive anymore, Tommy. I want to live.”

You feel the weight of his lips as he kisses your head. “I need time. Just a bit longer, eh. And then it will all be over. I promise.”

You’ve heard it all before and God, how you wish you could believe him. You’ve no doubt he means it, and maybe it is the truth. Maybe this time, it will stick. 

“But at what cost?” You wonder aloud. Because Tommy knows as well as you do that there’s always a price. A payment demanded in blood. 

Shelby blood.

“If you want to leave, I won’t stop you.”

You untangle yourself from his embrace, all the better to face him. You need to be brave enough now. You need him to understand.

“I know you think you have no limitations. Maybe you don’t. Maybe they’re right about you, after all. Maybe you are a god, or the devil himself, Tommy Shelby. But I can’t stand by and wait around to find out.”

After you’ve allowed your words to sink in, you press your lips - now unburdened - to Tommy’s.  Recognition, realisation, flashes across his face - this is one battle he will never win. Hands fisting in your hair, he pulls you closer, sealing your goodbye with a feverish kiss. 

When you eventually ride back through the valleys and mountains, you are alone.

Tommy Taglist: @a-reader-and-a-writer @crysxtal @simpforbuckyb @shynovelist @amberpanda99 @globetrotter28 @iammrsrogers @dragonsondragons @butterfly-lover @sunshineyourethebesttime @iwantmyredvelvetcupcake @breezy2and2freezy @fia-thefirst @dreamy-caramel @trixie23

[taggedmemes]

SENTENCE MEME BALDUR'S GATE 3 / PART THREE

i heard what happened.

thank you for protecting the child.

we can risk violence here or face it for certain on the road.

a low thought, but i'd be lying if i said i hadn't considered it.

i'm not some murderer for hire.

to get these people to safety, there's nothing i won't do.

if your people survived that, they'll survive anything.

it's unusual for them to organize so cleverly.

you're equal to the task.

try not to keel over with the first blade drawn.

might not look it, but we're tough.

there's optimism and then there's stupid.

how are you going to take my gold if you're dead?

just leave the gold on my corpse.

i wish we could at least give them a proper burial.

gold ain't any use if you're too cold to spend it.

you're giving up?

you should leave it, or destroy it.

at best it's worthless. at worst, who knows.

do not trifle with that moon witch or her trinkets.

only trouble will follow.

we've enough troubles and burdens as it is.

perhaps you can sell that for a couple of coins.

i should pluck your eyes out.

a cursed book? how obvious.

this quarrel sours our feast.

be you friend or food?

am i not astonishing?

i am by all accounts a student of higher commerce and extortion.

it's not what it looks like, i swear.

i wasn't going to hurt you.

i can't believe i didn't see it.

i'm not some monster.

why didn't you tell me?

i needed you to trust me.

you can trust me.

do you think you could trust me just a little further?

let's make ourselves comfortable, shall we?

i was just swept up in the moment.

i'm looking forward to seeing you fight.

you're invigorating, but i need something more filling.

this is a gift, you know. i won't forget it.

good morning. how do you feel?

i just feel a little woozy.

i thought you'd be more powerful.

someone, or something, wants me alive.

as for my other quirks — well, we can figure those out in time.

i'm just glad you're being sensible about these revelations.

i was worried people might turn up with torches and pitchforks.

that explains the pallor.

we're each monsters in the making.

i taste absolutely awful.

we need him, like it or not.

we're bound together, no matter what comes.

you say all the right words, but i'm not so sure you mean the right things.

i will respect the decision that was made.

we're all friends again.

there's a long day ahead of us.

what a manner of place is this?

is this a path to redemption or a road to damnation?

your journey is just beginning.

what would suit the occasion?

i am [name], very much at your service.

if you want to threaten me, don't disguise it.

you're paranoid, aren't you.

must be the surroundings.

rather bleak and lonesome, one feels so exposed.

this quaint little scene is decidedly too middle-of-nowhere for me.

enjoy your supper. after all, i might be your last.

are these theatrics leading somewhere?

are you not entertained?

far be it from me to disappoint.

how dear is one's soul?

you're made if you think i'll make a deal with a devil.

what is madness but a denial of reality?

exhaust every possibility until none are left.

when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair, that's when you'll come knocking on my door.

i'll have the last laugh in the end.

one might say you're a paragon of luck.

i've something important to discuss with you.

we've been travelling together for a while now and it's just about time that i shared something with you.

are you telling me you're addicted to magic?

i would not burden anyone other than myself with this were the stakes not so high.

if not out of the simple goodness of your heart, then perhaps your own self-interest might be sufficient motivation.

please, trust me.

your help could be the difference between life and death.

i'm afraid that's not going to work on me.

let us agree on actions first and explanations later.

i didn't come seeking battle.

you're different than the others, i can tell.

i'm afraid proper thanks must wait.

your boldness is a blessing.

it takes more than mere fire to break me.

i must ask again for your aid.

why entrust this to me?

i know him better than most.

i'm not interested in your lineage.

you shouldn't keep secrets like this from me.

he named me friend, and that meant the world.

they're a powerful friend with a keen interest in privacy.

i'm sworn to say no more.

i spent more time dueling than rubbing elbows with lords.

not to say i didn't develop a taste for good win and a talent for courtly dance.

it's been a badger's age since i've twinkled my toes.

a drunk ogre could put on a better show.

we can learn a lot from fairytales, don't you think?

he'll require of you only what you're least ready to part with, and then require more still.

the devil won't take just anything, he'll take everything.

that is a story reserved for lifetime friends and calmer days.

i question the wisdom in that decision but so be it.

there's no way you could have known.

i doubt a fight against them would go your way.

seems you have good survival instincts.

i go my own way — alone.

[jellyfitzjelly]

Please do write that fanfic of Ruyi and Ling Yunche. Both of them deserve the whole world 😭

Anon sorry for leaving you hanging I swear I am working on it! It's an AU where Ruyi marries Yunche instead of Hongli! Here is the beginning of my fic! I might actually post it as a standalone... Under a cut because it's long lol.

Ling Yunche looks between the doors of the Cold Palace every night when he’s on duty, and watches the fairy crying in the moonlight. She reminds him of the beautiful and tragic fox demon of his hometown’s folk song, condemned to cry forever under the moon with no possibility to join her human lover in the underworld. He misses his village so much. The capital is big and foreign to him, and the palace is a whole world contained within high red walls. He is blessed to have his sweetheart and his childhood friend here with him. They form Yunche’s own world, a cocoon of familiarity and warmth.

The beautiful, sorrowful girl looks terribly lonely in comparison.

He hears the other guards talk about her. She’s an Ula-Nara, the precious daughter of a powerful Manchu family now fallen. Her aunt was the lofty empress of the Forbidden City, but she is now locked away in her palace and disgraced. They say the favorite son of the Emperor wanted to marry her, courting his parents’ wrath. The Emperor was so enraged he ordered to have her thrown in the Cold Palace, even though she does not belong here. Yunche finds her lover a very weak man. Who wouldn’t feel chivalrous looking at that delicate face? And yet he lets her rot here, bending like tall weed in the wind to his parents’ will and marrying the women they have prepared for him. He should have eloped with her, he reasons, and escaped the capital. She must be heartbroken to have placed her love in such a fickle man. He always makes a prayer for her to find a better man, though he grimly knows that beautiful women have tragic fates more often than not. His Yanwan is certainly not as beautiful as this fairy, but she is his and she sings like a goddess. They have loved each other since they could remember. Her father was a joyous though incompetent man, spoiling her rotten when he was still alive. Yunche chases away the memories, not wishing to start thinking of his own parents, buried in his hometown. He has grown up a wild child with no parents to love him. But one day, he promises himself, he shall have a family again.

If the heavens have eyes, they will grant this beautiful girl a family too.

He watches her every night, hearing her quiet sobs. This time though, she turns around and in the semi-darkness, the moonlight is reflected in her eyes like precious jewels. Yunche should do the sensible thing and close the doors lest the girl starts screaming, but his hands refuse to obey him. The fairy approaches him slowly, the simplicity of her attire highlighting the porcelain of her skin and the delicate features of her face. It is as if the statue of a goddess had suddenly gained a life of its own.

“Who is this?” the beauty calls quietly.

“I am Ling Yunche, guard of the Cold Palace!” he whispers back. “And you, beautiful fairy, who are you?”

She looks at him, blinking in obvious surprise. He wants to smash his forehead against the heavy doors, cursing his foolishness.

“Beautiful fairy?” she repeats, confused, her brows furrowing.

“Oh, forgive me! You must be a ghost, rather than a fairy,” he jests to hide his mortification.

Her chuckle is a delightful sound, and her smile is as sweet as honey and as bright as the sun in summer. What possessed her man to abandon her?

“I am Ula-Nara Qinying, daughter of Naerbu.”

“So it is true? You are the woman the fourth prince wanted to marry?”

He sees her face contorts in hurt, and he curses himself once again for his blunder.

“Hey,” he continues, eager not to leave her with a dreadful impression of him, “if you need anything, call for me. I shall do what I can.”

“Thank you, Ling Yunche,” she smiles.

After that they speak leisurely when he is on duty at night, and familiarity has yet to succeed in making her startling beauty fade. He shares his cheap wine with her, and tries to make her laugh. She must be a fairy in disguise, he muses. She loves music and poetry, though she cannot dance; she loves to embroider swallows on her younger sister’s handkerchiefs; she likes to look at the moon when it is full. He never knew such a woman existed. Regularly he wonders how unlucky she is to have given her heart to such an ungrateful man. He never visits her, nor enquires after her. He lives his luxurious life, and has forgotten his sweetheart.

Finally, she is allowed to go back to her parents. She still looks heartbroken, but she gives him a smile as she thanks him for taking care of her. He does not see her again, though he regularly dreams of the fairy sobbing under the moonlight.

Yunche is promoted a week later, and he tells himself that perhaps her man is not so much of a cad as he believed him to be.

[stevenssticks]

Walk with me yall.....

Virgin Dave Mustaine *Feral Screaming*

Baby so horny and desperate barely holding himself back from pouncing in his First lover when they decide to get sticky with It as reader thought that mutual masturbation/sucking him off for the First time and letting him put in Just the tip would be enough to help him cool down but boy oh boy, Dave couldn't wait to get to feel what's like to fuck a real pussy after beating his cock so many times with those porn magazines thinking about his sweetheart so he begs and pleads to his Darling

Him being a nasty, perverted dirty talker naturally, all eager to shove himself as deep as he Can even If It makes him feel overwhelmed and on the verge of crying because no matter How much his sensible Dick Hurts, he loves How warm and wet it feels around him, and when he notices the little bulge whenever he slid in and her juices running down her thighs, making a mess where their bodies connected, she Can almost see his eyes Rolling back as he shivers and trembles while Cumming harder than he ever had before letting out noises that she never expected to see a Man doing

Poor reader, she is in for a long First night because no matter How many times he seems to cum, he Just can't get enough of the feeling

(THE FREAKIN AUH AUH NOISES U ALWAYS TALK ABOUT KEEP HAUTING ME IN MY DREAMS GRRRR)

HOLY FUCK IM WALKING WITH YOU. I AM MOST DEFINITELY WALKING WITH YOU WHAT THE FUCK. i might have to turn this into a full one shot bc mmmghhnmmmmmmmmmmm this is making me feel so many things.

for one: giving him his first blow job would be out of this world. he loves loves loves your mouth. wants to cum in it, fuck it. and he does just that. he’d beg you for it, asking “please please please can i fuck your throat? want it so bad. mouth feels so good.!” and ofc you pull off him for a sec to hesitantly say okay, and as soon as your mouth is back on him he’s grabbing your hair and fucking deep in your throat, letting out a wail bc bby boy is so overwhelmed at the feeling of your warm mouth. he’s cumming down your throat so fast and he’s so embarrassed about it he gets all blushy and shy<<333

OH OH AND giving him a pussy job and just rubbing your cunt over his dick but not actually putting it in. him whining and begging and rutting into you like he’s in heat asking “please. just the tip. i’ll be good i swear. please??” and you ofc cannot say no to a face like that and pleads like those. he gets you on your back and as soon as he presses the tip in he’s GONE. his eyes flutter close and his mouth drops open and he can’t even get a noise out with how good it feels. he’s gotten his taste, and now he wants more. he starts begging again and oh you’re giving in too. it feels so good to have him inside you already. you breathe out a little, punched out noise of approval and he’s slamming into you.

he’s so fucking horny and has been lusting for you since the day he met you and now it’s happening and he’s so overwhelmed with the feeling of it all. he literally would wrap his arms around you in a bear hug and start humping into you bc he doesn’t even wanna pull out at all. he’d be whining and moaning in ur ear telling you “feel so good. your pussy feels so good. fuck, i’m gonna cum inside you. needa cum in you. fuck fuck fuck” and you’re just holding him trying to ground yourself as he ruts into you.

the poor boy damn near howls when he cums, and even after that he can’t stop. he looks between your legs to where you’re connected to see a ring of his and your cum at the base of his dick and he’s already hard again. he’s so fucked out and overstimulated and it fucking hurts, but he’s still flipping you into every position he can and he doesn’t. stop. cumming. at one point he even crawls up the bed to lean over your face and have your throat again and you can taste his cum and yours on your lips and it’s so heady. he’d be so obsessed with getting you all messy and seeing spit run down your chin and hearing you choke on him. him letting out little “thank you”’s in between moans<3333

—

yeah… i’m gonna need to make this into a full story. keep an eye out for that and anon whoever you are BLESS YOUR SOUL.

[adrienneleclerc]

The Way I Loved You

Masterlist

Pairing: Xavier Thorpe x Reader, OC Normie x Reader

Summary: Y/N and Xavier Thorpe were once boyfriend and girlfriend until Xavier’s anger issues got the best of him and they broke up. When Y/N starts dating a normie boy who works in the Weathervane, she starts comparing her relationship with him to her past relationship with Xavier

Warnings: Mentions of Y/N’s past relationship with Xavier, current relationship of Y/N and normie, possibly Toxic relationship. Y/N power is like the Scarlet Witch, she has chaos magic. Gilmore Girls references, like a lot of references (I didn’t mean to, I swear I didn’t mean to 😂)

He is sensible and so incredible

And all my single friends are jealous

Y/N was on FaceTime with her normie boyfriend, Peter while he was on break in the Weathervane.

“Don’t you have a shift to get to, Peter?” Y/N asked as she was doing homework in her Nevermore dorm that she shares with Divina.

“I do, but i could always spare a few minutes to talk to my beautiful girlfriend.” Peter said. Peter was always this doting and sweet. “Peter, your break is done!” Y/N heard Tyler’s voice calling Peter, “I gotta go, princess, I’ll talk to you later, I love you.” Peter said. “Love you too” Y/N said hanging up the FaceTime call.

“Damn, Y/N, your normie boy toy is definitely whipped for you. I’m so jealous, like I love Yoko, but sometimes I wish she was more affectionate, I guess. But that’s what I get for dating a vampire.” Divina commented laughing a little. “Yeah, I know. Yoko loves you in her own way though.” Y/N commented, playing with the necklace Peter bought her for their one month-aversary. “But Peter basically worships the ground you walk on, and that’s without being a siren.”

The next day at Nevermore, Y/N was talking to a werewolf friend of hers, Luna, in the quad. Y/N always talks to Luna about Peter. “Y/N, i am literally so jealous! Why can’t I find a nice guy like Peter? He’s basically perfect, except for the fact that he’s a normie but you do you, I guess.” Luna said. Luna is singles but she desperately wants a relationship. “Yeah, I guess he is kinda perfect.” Y/N commented, heading to botany class after the bell rang.

He says everything I need to hear, and it’s like

I couldn’t ask for anything better

Y/N was in the Weathervane with Peter, drinking some coffee. “So I was thinking since we are going to the Rave’N dance together this Friday, thank you for agreeing to come, by the way, that you could help me pick out a dress. Like you’re supposed to wear all white because it’s Yeti themed so we could pick out something together.” Y/N commented as Peter was making drinks. “Yeah, sounds good, when my shift is done we can go”

Peter’s shift finished and the both of them went shopping. Y/N tried on 3 white dresses and showed them all to Peter. However, after every dress Peter said “you look great” to every dress. He would shower her in compliments as she tried on the other dresses she has seen on the rack. Y/N thought about Xavier and how when they were dating, he helped her get ready for the Rave’N dance last year too.

“Xavi, what do you think of this dress?” Y/N asked, showing Xavier a fire engine red strapless dress that comes up above the knee. “You look beautiful. But I’ve never seen you wear anything strapless before, I know at parties you like to dance and I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable when you keep pulling the dress up every few minutes. How about…this one.” Xavier said, picking out a dress with a sweetheart neckline and thin straps. “This looks more your speed, plus the color will fit you better, Enid was teaching me about color theory before we left so you can say I’m educated.” Xavier said laughing. Y/N tried on the dress that Xavier suggested and she immediately fell in love with it, she loved how it made her look. Y/N got out of the dressing room to show Xavier. Y/N then stood in front of the floor length mirror and Xavier came up behind her to hug her. “See? You look absolutely gorgeous.” Xavier said as he kissed her shoulder.

Y/N shook her head. Why are they thinking about Xavier? They are perfectly happy with Peter. What’s not to like about Peter? Y/N tried on the last white dress in the store. It was an off-the-shoulder dress, stopped mid thigh, the top of the dress was a corset style. Y/N absolutely loved it, when she stepped out of the dressing room, Peter looked at you and said “You looking amazing, this is definitely the dress.” Y/N smiled contently, though she was hoping for a different reaction, Peter was different. Y/N got dressed in her regular clothes and went to checkout

He opens up my door and I get into his car

And he says “you look beautiful tonight”

And I feel perfectly fine

Y/N finished her makeup and she heard a knock on the door. Y/N opened the door and saw Peter in a white suit with a corsage. “You look beautiful tonight. I mean you look beautiful everyday, but especially tonight” Peter said. Y/N used her magic to put all her makeup stuff away in her closet so she wouldn’t have to do it later. “Let’s go.” Y/N said.

At the Rave’N dance, Y/N and Peter were having a great time, talking, dancing, it was all good. Y/N then saw Xavier out if the corner of her eye staring. Xavier looked upset and kinda jealous. That was something you didn’t have to worry about with Peter, he wasn’t the jealous type at all, he trusted you. Not that Xavier didn’t trust you, he was a “touch her and you’ll die” type, protective to a fault. That what you liked about him anyway,

But I miss screaming and fighting and kissing in the rain

And it’s 2 a.m. and I’m cursing your name

So in love that you act insane

And that’s the way I loved you

Y/N was lying in bed awake, listening to Divina’s snoring, thinking about Xavier. Though Peter is a good boyfriend, there is not spark, no fire. There’s no passion. Her relationship with Xavier was nothing but passion, kind of similar to Wednesday’s parents’ relationship, complete devotion to each other, though that devotion would sometimes get out of hand.

“We got our outside privileges revoked for a whole month, Xavier! A whole month because you just had to fight with Lucas. He’s the mayor’s kid, principal Weems has a close relationship to the mayor, why do you think we’re allowed to go outside Nevermore? What were you thinking?” Y/N demanded, pushing Xavier into your dorm room, slamming the door. Good thing Divina was sleeping over at Yoko’s dorm

“What was I thinking? I was thinking that there is no way in hell that a normie kid was going to call you a demon witch!” Xavier shouted. Xavier and Y/N were out on a cute little date at the movies. When leaving the theater, it was nighttime to Y/N started making little light figures using her magic (think like a patronous) and Xavier was beyond enamored with Y/N’s abilities, however there was a group of normie boys who saw Y/N use her powers and started calling her names, one of those being a demon witch. Xavier did not like that at all.

“I told you to ignore them, I was okay, we could have walked away but you punched him and then you started wailing on those three boys, all of them basically knocked out but you gave Lucas a broken bloody nose!” Y/N said. “As your boyfriend, it’s my job to protect you, and that means defend you from small minded townie bullies.” Xavier said, running his hands through his hair. “I don’t need you to defend me!” Y/N shouted. “Fine! I’m leaving then!” Xavier left the dorm, slamming the door behind him. Y/N shouted profanities into her pillow and then checked the time on her phone. 2:00am, great, there’s no way Y/N was going to sleep now.

The next day Y/N knocked on Xavier’s dorm but Rowan opened up. “I was just headed out, Xavier’s kinda mopey though so…good luck with that.” Rowan said as he left. Xavier was on his bed, staring at the ceiling. Y/N sat on Xavier’s bed and Xavier sat up to talk to her better. “Listen, I appreciate you defending me. I’m actually proud of you for beating up those three boys considering you don’t lift weights or anything.” Xavier and Y/N laughed. Xavier turned his head to stare into Y/N’s eyes. “You know I’ll do anything for you, my angel. I am sorry that I got our Jericho privileges revoked.” Xavier lamented. “Nah, it’s alright, Xavi, there’s not much to do in Jericho anyway, it feels like Stars Hollow. Please tell me you’ve finished the show.” Y/N said excitedly.

“I haven’t yet but I like Jess, he seems like a cool guy.” Xavier said and Y/N giggled. “What’s so funny?” Xavier asked Y/N. “Of course you would like Jess, you guys are kinda similar in a way.” Y/N commented. Xavier also knows that Jess is your favorite character in the show. “Does that mean you dated me because I’m like Jess? Am I your type, sweetheart?” Xavier said leaning closer to Y/N to kiss her but Y/N turned her head. “Alright, i admit it, I guess I have a thing for the brooding bad boy.” Y/N said and then kissed Xavier.

Y/N looked at her phone’s Lock Screen, a picture of her and Peter eating ice cream on their first date. Y/N smiled, Peter was a perfectly acceptable boyfriend.

He can’t see the smile I’m faking

And my hearts not breaking

‘Cause I’m not feeling anything at all

“Hey, so i have this group thing to celebrate winning the lacrosse game this weekend, do you want to go? It’ll be fun, I really want you to meet my friends.” Peter said as he poured Y/N a caffè macchiato. Y/N took a sip and thought about it. Y/N didn’t have good experiences with normie but I guess for Peter she can make an exception. “Um sure, sounds like fun.” Y/N commented.

This weekend came sooner than she thought. Enid, Yoko, Divina, and even Wednesday helped Y/N pick out an outfit for meeting Peter’s normie friends.

“I can’t believe I’m participating in such cliche teen movie behavior.” Wednesday said with her arms crossed. “I told you, you didn’t have to come Wednesday.” Enid told her. “But I’m already here. If Peter does anything out of line, I’ll make sure to send Thing after him.” Wednesday said.

“Thanks, Wednesday. Thank you for letting me borrow your top, Yoko.” Y/N said looking herself in the mirror. Y/N was wearing a red plaid a-line skirt with a black camisole over a black mesh see through long sleeved top, black tights, and white platform sneakers. “The top goes really well with the skirt. What time is Peter coming?”

“He said he was going to be here by 7 so..” Y/N started, she looked at her clock that said 6:59 and as soon as it turned 7, a text notification from Peter appeared, saying he’s outside. “He’s here. Bye ladies, see you later” Y/N said as she left her dorm and when exiting the building, she saw Peter opening the passenger door for her. She got in and Peter closed the door after her. Peter got into the driver seat, “you ready to go?” Peter asked. “Yep.” Y/N said as she put on her seatbelt. Peter drove until they made it to the pizzeria where his friends are. So it was the lacrosse team plus their partners. Peter opened the door for Y/N and they made it inside the restaurant.

“Hey guys, so this is Y/N, she’s my girlfriend, the one I was telling you about.” Peter introduced you to them. “You go to Nevermore, right? You seem so normal though.” One of the teammates’ girlfriend said, Y/N just smiled uncomfortably. “Yeah, I’ve been told that a lot.” Y/N said as they all sat down at their table.

During dinner, everyone was talking except for Y/N, she was just listening to everyone, some would talk about what happened in their normie school, others would talk about outcasts and then look at her and say “no offense” as if that helped. During the whole time, Peter did not once ask if she was okay after hearing his classmates’ comments. What’s worse is that Y/N wasn’t even sad that Peter didn’t notice. No matter how hard she tried, her feelings for Peter were more platonic at best, definitely not romantic as Peter’s feelings for her.

And you were wild and crazy

Just so frustrating, intoxicating, complicated

Got a away by some mistake and now

After the sad dinner at the pizzeria, Y/N was back in her dorm room. Divina texted Y/N saying that she was sleeping over with Yoko so Y/N was by herself again. Y/N started getting ready to take a shower, she couldn’t believe that she put this much effort to meet a bunch of ignorant and judgmental normies. Y/N got her playlist ready to shower and started undressing to get into the shower. As she was washing her hair, she started to think about why her and Xavier broke up in the first place. Everything was going so well.

“You can’t be serious, Xavier.” Y/N said as she entered Xavier’s dorm room because Ajax said that he saw Xavier with bloody knuckles and many cuts on his face. Y/N got a wet wash cloth to clean the blood off of him plus some alcohol to clean and disinfect the wounds. “You should have heard the way they were talking about you. Made me so angry.” Xavier said, teeth seething.

“Xavier, they are in the infirmary! Why can’t you understand that I don’t need you to fight with every single person that that’s something bad about me! It’s high school, rumors are rumors, people move on.” Y/N said as she put butterfly tape on the cuts on his face and bandages on his knuckles. “And why can’t you appreciate the fact I am protecting someone that I love!” Xavier shouted. “Xavier, i love you, i love you so very much but unless you develop some impulse control, I don’t know how much longer we can be together.” Y/N said. Xavier’s face has fallen after Y/N said that. But Xavier’s expression was changed to one of anger.

“Fine, go on then! I don’t need you! My life was better before I even met you!” Xavier shouted. Y/N was surprised, no matter how angry Xavier would get, he never shout at her like he did just now. Y/N took off her bow and arrow necklace that Xavier bought her and left it on his desk as she walked out.

Y/N finished her shower and got dressed after doing her whole routine. She used to think that moving on from Xavier would have been a good thing. However it turned out to be the worst decision she has ever made. Y/N looks at the necklace that Peter gave her on her desk. She puts the necklace in the box that it came in, tomorrow she will give the necklace back to Peter.

Meanwhile Xavier was talking to Ajax about Y/N. “I just don’t understand why she would be with a normie like him. She was even hanging out with a bunch of normies! It is so unlike her.” Xavier said. Ajax rolled his eyes. “Maybe she wants something different. If you think about it, everything was so intense with you guys, maybe she wants a more laidback, relaxed relationship.” Ajax commented. “A relationship that is laidback and relaxed isn’t a relationship, it’s a friendship. Besides, why would she be with a Paul when she could be Jess.” Xavier said.

“What the hell are you talking about?” Ajax asked. “It’s from a TV show Y/N watches, Paul was a boring guy, so boring the girl forgets she’s dating him but everything she felt with Jess was passionate and he was on the same level as her. At least in some scenes, dude is kinda sketchy.” Xavier explained, even after they broke up, Xavier decided to finished the show and it’s revival, that’s how much he loved her. “Well maybe Y/N is sick of having a Jess and Rory relationship.” Ajax said. “I thought you didn’t know the show!” Xavier accuses him. “Enid watches it, leave me alone.” Ajax said.

The next day, Y/N goes to the Weathervane after classes with the box in her pocket. Peter saw her and smiled, Y/N got closer to him to say hello and they hugged. “Do you want you usual, princess?” Peter asked Y/N. “Actually, I wanted to talk to you about something.” Y/N told him. “Uh sure, Tyler, I’m on break” Peter said as he got out from behind the counter to sit with Y/N at a booth. “What did you want to talk to me about?” Peter asked, Y/N gave him the box with the necklace inside. “I don’t understand, do you want to break?” Peter asked.

“I honestly believe it’s for the best. Your friends are…I’m just not comfortable around them.” Y/N said. “Then I’ll get new friends, I don’t..” Peter started but Y/N stopped him. “I won’t ask you to give up your friendships. Listen…I think we both want different things in this relationship and I honestly don’t think I have it in me to continue. I am so very sorry, you’re a good guy, you’ll make somebody’s perfect boyfriend.” Y/N tried to comfort him. “Just not yours. I get it, I gotta go back to work.” Peter said as he left the booth. Y/N stayed for a whole before she started walking back to Nevermore. However, on her way it started raining. “Brilliant” Y/N commented. As she was walking she saw Xavier holding a red umbrella but he didn’t see her.

“Xavi!” Y/N screamed and Xavier turned around. When he saw her, he walked as quickly as he could to avoid tripping on the slippery ground and made it to Y/N, holding the umbrella over the both of them. “What are you doing walking outside in the rain? Are you crazy?” Xavier asked her. “Kinda, I was walking back from the Weathervane…I broke up with Peter.” Y/N’s comment made Xavier look at her in shock. “Why? I always thought…I thought you loved him.” Xavier asked, even though the question himself made him nauseous. “He loved me but I was never in love with him. There was no spark, no chemistry, no passion. I don’t think I can love anyone like I love you.” Y/N said.

“But what about what happened? I thought you said we won’t work out.” Xavier questioned. “Xavi, you may be impulsive but it’s something that I love about you. With that said though, please don’t send people into the infirmary anymore, okay? Don’t start anymore fights. Only finish them, okay?” Y/N said. For the first time in a while, Xavier smiled, like a true, authentic, genuine smile. “Yes ma’am. I’m sorry for our fight though, I didn’t mean it. My life got so much better with you in it.” Xavier said smiling. Y/N got on her tiptoes to touch her forehead with his. “I know you’re sorry, my life is better with you in it too. I love you.” Y/N said, pulling away to look Xavier in the eyes. “I love you so much, Y/N, I promise I won’t be such a Jess.” Xavier told her and Y/N laughed. “It’s okay if you’re a Jess, he’s my favorite boy anyway.” Y/N said and Xavier leaned down to kiss Y/N. Xavier dropped the umbrella so he could lift her up and deepen the kiss.

“You want to be my girlfriend again and pick up where we left off?” Xavier asked, pulling away from the kiss, looking into Y/N’s eyes. “I would love to be your girlfriend again, Xavi.” Xavier smiled before kissing Y/N again. Now they were both soaking wet from kissing in the rain. “Come on, let’s go dry off in my shed before we get hypothermia.” Xavier said, grabbing his umbrella again so they could get out of them rain.

Probably the longest one-shot/imagine I’ve written, hope you guys like it! Reblogs, likes, and comments are encouraged! If you have an idea, please write it in the requests.

[weepingfoxfury]

The man on the radio is not the usual man on the radio. The usual man on the radio is sleeping off last night's partying as the station celebrated 25 years on air. The stand-in man on the radio seems to be having difficulty finding the required buttons and alternates between sounding as though he is in the room with you, or has wandered off and is absent-mindedly continuing the show from one of the studio's bathrooms. The traffic lady's reports are erratic as all timekeeping bets are off this morning.

The shiny metropolis calls once more and, as ever, I am in need of Ireland's only umbrella. Yes, I am most assuredly referring to the much coveted 'the umbrella'. It is fabled amongst the folk of the soggy Emerald Isle. Many are prepared to swear they have had regular sightings of 'the umbrella' and some are even prepared to swear upon their morning cup of 'tay' that they have been within touching distance of it.

I myself know a man who knows another man who swears that the friend of a friend of a friend might just be able to lay his hands on the pen used to sign the 'the umbrella' booking sheet ... but I must keep this information close to my chest.

In the meantime, I shall alternately dream of 'the umbrella' and sunnier days where I shan't need 'the umbrella' ... or I could just do the sensible thing and get a raincoat.

Perhaps the man on the radio who is not the usual man on the radio will finally find the 'weather report' and I'll be a little wiser as to what level of wetness lies in store for the rest of today ... (blinks ... waits ... sighs) ... nope ... looks like he's found the traffic lady button again instead ................ she will be surprised ...

[sallowsdiary]

Well, today was a day for the books – and by books, I mean the Hogwarts’ Most Embarrassing Moments edition. Let’s just say that if I ever find myself in charge of the school one day (which is highly likely, let’s be honest), I will be banning all references to today’s events.

It all started with a completely harmless plan to sneak into the Restricted Section of the library. I mean, it’s practically a Slytherin rite of passage, right? I figured I’d grab a few “light” reads on dark curses—you know, just for academic purposes—and be on my way. How hard could it be?

I roped Ominis into coming with me, of course. He’s good with silencing charms, and besides, if we got caught, I could always blame him. I’m still not entirely sure how I convinced him to come along; I think he’s growing immune to my charm. Must be losing my touch. Anyway, we made it to the library without a hitch, but then we ran into the ultimate obstacle: Madam Scribner.

That woman must have bat DNA because she’s everywhere at once. One minute she’s shelving books across the room, and the next, she’s standing right behind us, asking what we’re doing by the Restricted Section after hours. I swear she has some sort of magical radar that detects students who are up to no good. If there’s ever a Dark Lord, she’ll be the first to know.

Naturally, I tried to charm my way out of it. I spun some tale about doing “extra research” for Professor Black—you know, something to make it sound like I was doing the school a favor. But then Ominis, the absolute traitor, stammered something about needing a book on magical plants. Magical plants! Honestly, Ominis, at least come up with a lie that makes us sound more dangerous.

Madam Scribner wasn’t buying any of it. She gave us this look—the kind that says, “I was born before you, and I’ll be haunting this library long after you’ve left it”—and told us to leave immediately. I was about to argue, but then she reached into her robes, and I thought she was going for her wand. I wasn’t about to duel a librarian, so I did the only sensible thing: I bolted.

Unfortunately, in my haste, I tripped over a stack of books someone had left on the floor. And not just any books—enormous, dusty old tomes that weigh as much as a baby hippogriff. I went sprawling across the floor in what was probably the least dignified moment of my life. Ominis, bless his heart, tried to help me up, but in the process, he accidentally kicked a book straight at Madam Scribner’s head.

We both froze, waiting for her to hex us into oblivion. But she just sighed, muttered something about “reckless youth,” and sent us on our way. I swear, that woman is unflappable. She didn’t even take points from Slytherin, which is honestly the most shocking part of this whole disaster.

So, here I am, writing this down while trying to forget the sound of Madam Scribner’s disappointed sigh. I’ve decided that the Restricted Section isn’t worth the risk—at least, not until I figure out how to Apparate inside without being detected. Note to self: work on perfecting that by Christmas.

Until then, I’m going to lay low and try to salvage what’s left of my dignity. Maybe I’ll volunteer to help with Professor Sharp's potion inventory—nothing like some mindless labor to make people forget your most recent failures.

But seriously, magical plants, Ominis?

—Sebastian

[gabessquishytum]

you know what. it's my birthday and that means i get to be extra extra self-indulgent. so! i'm going back to chastity belt+urethral plug hob because... yeah.

even after hob is perfectly happy and settled into being a kept pet he loves when dream keeps his peehole plugged, and dream loves anything that keeps his beloved pet happy and horny. and being plugged makes him so horny -- dream quickly learns to either plug hob's cunt as well or to make sure he's on a good thick pillow, or hob will drip so much he'll leave puddles on the floor.

and then eventually dream realizes he's kept hob plugged every day for more than a week and even the biggest plug in the set he ordered doesn't fit as snug in hob's peehole as it should. it was never his intention to change his darling's body! so he decides to give hob a week or two without being plugged to give his body a chance to tighten back up.

not that he makes it a week. he doesn't make it three days, because on the third day hob crawls into his lap before they leave dream's quarters for the day and quickly starts apologizing and begging. did he do something wrong? is he being punished? he didn't mean to, he swears, what does he need to do to earn his plug back? dream's quick to explain that hob didn't do anything wrong, he only wanted to give hob a chance to recover, and hob tearfully explains that he doesn't want to recover. he wants dream to change him. and he admits that he'd maybe been hoping dream wanted to change him to.

and the thing is, dream does. part of how guilty he's felt about this is that he does want it, he wants to shape hob into his perfect little pet. and he doesn't begrudge hob being... a little bit of a slut before. but he'd like very much to find a virginity of hob's he can take. so when hob admits that he was really really hoping dream would keep stretching him until he could take a cock in that little hole? dream's just glad he didn't have to be the one to bring it up.

so dream orders a new set of plugs, and hob gets gradually sized up and gets more and more desperate every time they have to switch to a new plug. dream's actually the one who has to be sensible about it, because as soon as dream can fit two fingers into his urethra, hob starts begging for dream to just fuck him already.

but dream wants to take good care of his beloved. and when he finally works his cock into hob's new hole, hob doesn't feel a moment of pain. he comes for the first time as soon as dream's all the way inside him, and he doesn't stop coming as dream fucks him. he's a very spoiled little pet. but he's all dream's, and dream wouldn't have him any other way.

-🐈‍⬛

First of all. Most beloved and special 🐈‍⬛ anon. Happy birthday!!!!!! I hope you have such a lovely day, I (and everyone who reads this blog) love you a lot!!!!!!!!

Second of all. I am very very unhinged about Hob wanting Dream to bodymod him, okay. Hob being mindlessly horny because Dream is giving him a brand new hole that no one else will ever get to touch? Fucking hell yeah, I'm weirdly emotional about it.

Hob is a very horny little painslut at the best of times. When Dream initially starts playing with his urethra, Hob just knows that this is His Thing. This is the thing that he likes more than a normal amount. Every single time Dream puts a sound in him he gets this wonderful surge of pleasure and before long, he can cum just from having his peehole stimulated. He has wonderful daydreams about how maybe one day, Dream will be able to put his whole cock inside that tiny little hole! Hob lies in bed at night and squirms, rubbing his thighs together and nearly moaning out loud as he imagines it.

It's the pain, and the discomfort that gets him off. But there's also the aftercare. Dream is very conscientious about making sure that his pet remains healthy, so he keeps Hob’s peehole clean and tidy to ward of nasty infections. Hob dearly loves holding his folds open while Dream lovingly swabs him. He just feels like the most special person in the whole world.

So when Dream finally promises that he'll stretch the little hole into something properly fuckable, Hob is in ecstasy. He promises that he'll be extra specially good. Dream just shakes his head fondly and ruffles Hob’s hair. He knows that his pet will be in trouble soon enough, but he's so whipped he'd let Hob get away with anything at this point.

Sure enough later that day, he catches Hob with his hand stuck in the chastity belt, trying to stuff one finger into his (still tiny) peehole, right alongside the sounding rod. Looks like Dream’s going to have to invest in an even more elaborate belt, since his pet can't keep his hands to himself. Or maybe he'll just go ahead and order some handcuffs to be made specially... <333

It's all going to be worth it when he gets to put his cock into the hole that no one else has ever even touched. And it'll be an absolute dream come (or cum 😉) true for Hob.

[lananiscorner]

The Leviathan's Tail

Summary:

Strife has lost count of the many, many times he has tried to conquer the obstacle course called "Leviathan's Landing". Dis has not. She decides to provide him with a little hint...

Notes:

Yes, I am still alive. This is the first thing I've written in months, so probably rusty as fuck. Anyway, his was written for Darksiders Week 2023, Day 1: Celebrating Genesis. Can't say I liked Leviathan's Landing--quite the opposite in fact, but bless whoever found that little exploit for the third section of it.

Disclaimer: This work was written for publication on Archive of Our Own and my personal Tumblr (lananiscorner) and is not for profit. Any re-publication on for-profit/monetized sites/apps is not authorized or supported by me. If you come across such a re-publication, please leave a comment in my tumblr ask box. Podfics and translations may be authorized upon request.

Fic text beneath the cut.

The platform collapsed under his feet once more, and so did what little was left of his patience. Strife cursed as he fell through the void, seemingly endlessly, before one of the giant, undead snakes that had made its home in there found him and catapulted him back up to the beginning with an unceremonious flick of its tail.

Leviathan’s Landing, Vulgrim had called it, and now Strife finally understood why.

“Have you been attempting this ridiculous excuse of an obstacle course again, brother?”

“Of course not,” Strife scoffed in response. “I just came here for my daily dose of void diving.”

He wasn’t sure if War had been making fun of him or not. It was hard to tell with the big guy, and the fact that he and Strife had not had much to do with each other before defecting from the nephilim did not help. He had been a part of the Crimson Oath—meaning what you say but never saying what you mean had been second nature to Strife, drilled into his very being from the day he took the crimson. War, on the other hand, had been fighting at the front of Absalom’s forces, a vanguard, a bruiser, as brutally effective as gracelessly blunt, and in many ways his demeanor came to match.

Even now, as War raised an eyebrow ever so slightly before turning back towards the serpent hole, Strife was not entirely sure if he had even noticed the sarcasm in his brother’s reply. Strife was going to give him the benefit of the doubt, though. If even one good thing had come out of their third visit to Eden, it was that Strife had learned his younger brother was a lot smarter than one would assume from a front line fighter who had gotten hit in the head a couple dozen of times.

Unfortunately, Strife thought with a sigh as he looked back on the increasingly narrow pillars shooting up behind him, there was a better chance of snow falling in Hell’s furnaces than War helping him with this. As he trudged back to the serpent hole, frustration slowly turned into anger.

He was supposed to be the one who was good at this sort of stuff. Finesse. Swiftness. Sure-footed work under frantic circumstances. This was his element… and yet here he was, sulking after the Creator only knew how many attempts at tackling the damned third section of this utterly insane obstacle course.

He wanted to shoot something. Or even better, punch it.

Perhaps I should ask War to let me borrow that gauntlet for a minute.

The thought had never had more appeal. Unfortunately, the cold, unforgiving universe once more decided to laugh at him.

The serpent hole was where it had always been—or, well, where it had always been since Strife and War had gotten here—for all Strife knew Vulgrim reshuffled and redecorated the place every X number of years—but War was not. Knowing his brother, he hadn’t gone back to Vulgrim and Samael for a chat either, which really left only one sensible option. With a deep sigh, Strife headed towards Dis.

“Brother, I swear by Lilith’s tits, if you went to fight Dagon without me…”

“Then what?” Vulgrim’s ‘associate’ was on him in a hot second, the bauble she had been tinkering with flung carelessly back into the void with a flick of her wrist. The smile on Dis’ face was as unmistakably smug as the tone was tantalizing in her voice. “Will we get to see an epic brawl between two of the last nephilim in existence? I would pay for seats to that show…”

“Aaaaaand you’d be getting ripped off.” Strife smiled underneath his helmet as he brought out his guns. “You wanna see a fight between any number of the four of us? Just ask who should be in charge or claim that one of us is light years ahead of the others, and you’ve got yourself a nice little show.”

Of course, the truth was it probably wouldn’t even take that much. If there were two things that were in a nephilim’s blood, it was to wander… and to fight. In hindsight, perhaps that was why Absalom’s excuse for attacking Eden had always rung so hollow for him.

“A home for our people.”

As if their people were the kind that wanted homes.

As if they would not get bored less than a month into living there and move on to another planet to mess up.

As if any permanent settlement was not only unrealistic and completely out of character for almost all of them, but also an amazing opportunity for one of the many, many, many races who wanted his kind wiped from the universe completely to attack them where it hurt the most.

Except that was us. Strife hated it when the little voice inside his head was right. It was us who wiped them from the universe. Didn’t even need another race for that.

“Hey, Dis, you wouldn’t happen to have seen War, would you?”

There was no point in lingering in the past, no matter how many times its ghosts tried to claw their way back into his mind.

He often wondered how many centuries he was going to have to remind himself of that fact before it finally worked.

“The big guy?” Dis looked up from whatever potion she had been brewing—where had she even been hiding the vials and ingredients?—and nodded towards the serpent hole. “He bought some more trinkets from me before going to the arena. I thought you’d already demolished the place?”

Strife shrugged. “Yeah, pretty sure we did. But then again, War’s the kind that doesn’t mind repetition.”

“But you do?”

“Sure do. It’s boring. And I’ve got better things to do with my time.”

Dis grinned ear to ear. “Like tackling Leviathan’s Landing for the two-hundred and sixty-eighth time?”

Oh you little demon bit— “I have not—”

Suddenly, the temptation to shoot her was almost unbearable. Strife knew the feeling. The itching at the back of his neck. The tingling in his veins. The blood lust that was so common for all of his kind. Too bad all the stuff she sold was useful. And she was kind of cute. For a demon anyways.

“It has not been two-hundred and sixty-eight times.”

“Oh it has.” Dis shook the vial she was holding twice and smiled as it turned from dull gray to vibrant blue. “I counted.” She gave him a quick wink. “Your enthusiasm and tenacity really is quite endearing.”

“I’m gonna shoot you just for that tone in your voice.”

Strife sighed. He wanted to say he couldn’t quite place why it pissed him off so much, but unfortunately he could. That dreadful mixture of cheeky seduction and almost mothering ‘bless your little heart, you tried’ kind of condescension was something every nephilim had known from the day of their creation.

“You know, Dis… if you’ve got nothing helpful to say, maybe say nothing at all.”

“Very well,” Dis scoffed. “Go catch a Leviathan’s tail then, for all I care.”

Whatever warmth had been in her voice had turned into to ice. Strife was hardly surprised. A slighted demon sounded like she wanted to murder him. In other news, fire was hot and Samael could not be trusted. He watched her float back to her books and beakers and whatever else she had stacked up in that makeshift laboratory of hers, took a deep breath and holstered his guns.

There were other demons to kill in the arena. No need to waste his time and ammo on the demon who was supplying him and War with upgrades.

He was just about to enter the arena and find out which section exactly War had run off to, when he caught the glimmer in the distance.

How he had never noticed it before, Strife couldn’t tell. His senses were usually unusually sharp—more so than most other nephilim’s in fact—it had always given him an edge he had sorely needed. Perhaps he had always been to distracted by conversing with War. Perhaps the angle had never been right. Either way, he could see it clearly now—the unmistakable glow of a creature core, and a big one at that. Strife stepped over the serpent hole and headed down the rune-riddled path towards the core instead.

It led him back to the big door. As once before, the keys he and War had found throughout Hell’s realms materialized automatically, shooting forth into their locks, no doubt drawn in by some powerful magic. There were not enough of them, of course. There hadn’t been last time either, and both he and War had agreed to leave the door alone until they had found a sufficient number to open the door.

As much as Strife loved a mystery, right now, the idea of what was hiding behind the gate was not nearly as interesting to him as the glow high above it, little more than a glimmer now that his sight line was blocked by the stone wall shooting up above the door. Strife climbed up one of the torches by the side, hoping to get a better look.

Who would put a stone wall above a door in the middle of nowhere? And who would put a core up there? And what kind of co—Oh.

He found the answer as he was balancing on the edge of the torch, flames licking dangerously close to his dangling scarf. From up here, he could see most of this corner of the void. He could see the entrance to the Boatman’s Labyrinth and Dis’ lab just before that. He could see the serpent hole. He could see the entrance to the Gauntlet. He could see the beginning of Leviathan’s Landing.

The beginning with the first pillars.

And the damned pillars.

And the second portal.

And the floating rocks that curved throughout the empty space like a winding snake.

And the third portal.

And a glimpse of the beginning of thrice-damned path he had just wasted hours on, bending gently in his current direction.

“You have got to be kidding me!”

This was it. This was the Leviathan’s tail. The end of the course. He couldn’t see if from where he stood, but he was as sure that there was one last portal up there as he was sure in his aim with his guns.

“Bless you, Dis, I promise I’ll bring you something really neat from the next vault I crack.”

Strife took a deep breath, then jumped towards the door, shadow-dashing mid air to land on one of the tiny outcrops in the rocky facade. If someone had told him to climb up this wall a week ago, he would have told them to get bent. Now, he was determined to scale this jagged piece of floating rock even if it was the last thing he was going to do.

As it turned out, getting above the door was the easy part. Getting up the wall behind it… Strife cursed under his breath as he tried to scale the rocks. Why did Lilith had to have been so incompetent at creating a hybrid between angels and demons? Where were the wings? You’d think that would be the first thing she would have taken from the angels. The wings. But noooooo. All he had was this stupid shadow wing thing he had gotten from Samael.

He had lost count of the many times his fingers had slipped from cracks to small and thin for a firm hold by the time he felt ready to climb back down again. Even though he was on the scrawny side as far as nephilim went, there was no way to get a good grip here. He almost missed the balancing act that was the pillars in the first section of Leviathan’s Landing.

Balance…

The idea that had sprung into his head was frankly crazy and likely to end with him losing parts he would hate to miss, but when had that ever stopped him? Strife shook the tension and soreness out of his limbs, then tackled the wall again.

This time, he planted one of his twin daggers firmly in the deepest horizontal crack he could find and clambered up onto it with as much care as he could muster. The tempered demon steel bent ever so slightly under his weight, but still, his feet remained steady. He had stood on worse. He just needed to put the thought of an arm’s length worth of razor sharp steel out of his mind.

The second dagger went into another split in the rocks, this time blade up. It was risky, but he could do it.

Strife took a deep breath, jumped up onto the hilt and immediately vaulted even higher, to grab the ledge at the top of the cliff. He hung on by the tips of his fingers, but he was going to be damned if he was going to quit now. With one last huff and a curse, Strife pulled himself to the top.

The core was humming quietly in front of him, its magic vibrating in the air, soft as the buzz of a bee on a warm summer’s day. It almost seemed to mock him with how peacefully it sat there, considering the violence this obstacle course had inflicted on him each time he had tried to get here the ‘right’ way.

“You little sucker…” Strife grabbed the core quickly before the universe could pull some new cruel joke on him and catapult it out of his reach by some contrived shenanigans.

I can already hear War’s response, Strife mused as he climbed down carefully, retrieving his daggers along the way. “You have not only cheated the creator of this course—you have cheated yourself.”

War could get bent. At the end of the day, Strife now had three Leviathan cores and War had none. And that’s what really mattered.

His brother was waiting for him by the serpent hole when he returned. Going by the few bits and pieces of demon that still clung to parts of War’s armor, it had been an entertaining run.

“So… how far did you get?”

“I stopped after the hundred and sixty-fifth wave.” War shrugged ever so slightly. “The arena is starting to bore me.” Then, he nodded towards his older brother. “I assume you tried the leviathan’s trail one more time?”

“Actually,” Strife grinned, even though he was fully aware War could not see it, “I grabbed the leviathan by its tail this time.”

War sighed. “You make as little sense as ever, brother.”

“Thankfully.” Strife thumped him on the shoulder quickly. “Now, shall we return to our regularly scheduled hunt for minor demon lords with delusions of grandeur?”

A rare smile graced War’s usually stern face. “Yes. Let’s go and kill Dagon.”

[arachnixe]

Only Dreaming

(Part 7 of The New Goddess - Previous: What Gods Demand)

In truth, I feel nothing toward Princess Canina, despite the effort I put into obtaining a position of service within the palace and the long years I labored to earn this position as her personal attendant.

I’m sure I’ve met her before while performing my duties, but in our brief encounters she has left me with no impression of her character that I can recall. Not that it matters. I am not here because I have any particular love of the royal family. I have a Plan, and that Plan requires me to earn the confidence of the princess.

“Wow. My first real servant.” She giggles with a giddiness that seems rather childish for a young woman her age, then clasps her hands in prayer. “Thank you, Goddess, for the blessings you bestow on me.”

Ugh. Another one of those extremely pious types, ready to thank their holy whatever for every breath they take. You’ll never catch me doing that.

“Do you… not believe in Goddess, Miss Velle?”

I curse internally. How amateurish of me to wear my feelings on my face. I fix myself, putting together an apologetic-enough smile and attempting to deflect the conversation. “Please, Your Grace, such address is unnecessary for your personal maid when it’s just the two of us. Just Velle will do.” Personal maid. Frankly my title should be—

Ah! A sudden blinding headache cuts that thought off abruptly, and I fail to stop myself from flinching away and clutching my head in my hands. What is wrong with me today? I am making a terrible first impression here and putting the Plan in jeopardy. I need to do damage control.

“My… apologies… Princess Canina.” The headache slowly fades, and I regain my grip on myself.

“Shh, it’s okay, Velle.” She wraps her arms around me in a strong hug that wildly violates my expectations of royal decorum. “You never have to apologize for getting headaches, no matter how bad they get, okay? It happens to me too, so I promise you’re talking to someone who understands.”

No, do not offer me pity, lest it inspire the same from me. Pity is a weakness. It inspires me to take unnecessary risks. I learned that the hard—

Another swell of pain forces me to divert from that thought.

“I will not allow my condition to interfere with my duties, Canina. I swear it.”

“Will you swear to Goddess?”

“I will swear it to you.”

“Hmm…” Her lips tighten in displeasure. “I think it would be best for you to not forget to address me with the proper courtesy, Velle.”

It was a mistake to interpret her over-familiar gesture as an invitation to reciprocate the omission of titles in private conversation. Or, just as likely, she really can’t handle any perceived disrespect toward her awful religion. In terms of winning her trust, I’ve managed one step forward and two steps back. I may have to re-evaluate the cost of my pride.

“Yes, Princess Canina. It won’t happen again.”

---

My sleep lately comes in fitful, short bursts punctuated in intervals by white-hot bursts of agony. The headaches torment me all night, and every time I close my eyes it feels like something is trying to come to life inside me. Whatever it is, it threatens to split my head open completely.

When sunrise mercifully arrives, I awaken to a bed drenched in sweat and have to concentrate to force my own hands to release their white-knuckle grip on my soaked sheets.

Thus dawns another day as my princess’s personal attendant and housemaid.

---

I’ve grown accustomed to the daily routine. After bringing Her Highness breakfast, I help her dress. She solicits my opinion on matters of aesthetic far more than I consider reasonable, but I like to believe I have an eye for style, if not quite the same aesthetic sensibilities as Princess Canina.

Though bashful at first, I am successful at getting her to relax around me over time. Flattery works well, and she practically melts when I encourage her vanity and suggest outfits that allow her to flaunt her figure. Not that her vanity needs much encouragement, as often as she distracts herself with lingering stares toward the grand mirror that dominates her room. Still, it’s a vice I approve of even if it means my main duties necessarily include cleaning her favorite mirror several times a day.

I accompany her on two of her three daily visits to the shrine where the princess makes her religious obeisances and mumbles prayers to the Great Whore In The Sky. I kneel with her, as she requires of me, but I keep my vitriolic prayers inside my head. The third time each day that she observes her prayers, it is a “private” religious rite, and I am grateful for the reprieve.

“Goddess bless you on this fine day, Madame Velle! Might I say that you look cute as always in that uniform of yours?”

I am content with the fact that most other servants of the house stay out of my way, but there is one lone exception.

“Jester.” I turn primly and glare daggers at the fool. “Every day I am disappointed anew to discover that you have not yet broken your neck performing one of those fanciful tumbles you favor.”

The thing before me offers a too-wide grin filled with teeth that would be more at home in an eel’s mouth than a person’s. Two of its arms clutch its chest as though heartbroken. Two more assist in its pantomime of a scandalized faint, the back of one hand to its forehead with another cast dramatically in the air.

“You wound me, Madame!” it cries out before cracking up in a fit of giggles.

Naturally, I am unamused. Once day I must find an opportunity to poison this awful creature. “Somehow I doubt you feel as insulted by my words as I do yours. I shall have to work harder until you find yourself wounded in truth.”

“You won’t believe me, but I do look forward to that day, my dear.”

I am fortunate that the princess finds amusement in my animosity toward her jester. If I had to feign politeness toward this thing, I might just be tempted to give up on the Plan altogether and quit the palace.

No, no. I would put up with quite a bit to see this through. My life’s work hinges on building a close relationship with Princess Canina. I would, however, prefer not to test my willpower unnecessarily.

“Jackie!” A shout from behind me interrupts our meaningless standoff. My Lady throws herself at the detestable jester, catching the creature in an overjoyed hug that strikes me as deeply excessive given they last ran into each other no more than five days ago.

“Thank the Goddess that She has seen fit to have our paths cross,” the thing replies with almost-human warmth. It lowers its voice as to speak privately with the princess, though not so low my ears fail to hear. “How is everything going, Nina?”

She murmurs something in response that I don’t make out, and all I catch from “Jackie” afterward is “…feathers at first for the whole bird theme, but then I changed my…”

The sheer familiarity between them is unnerving. Sharing pet names and secrets, the two wrapped in each other’s arms, one would be forgiven for assuming they have some sort of romantic connection despite the incongruity of the spectacle. As her hand falls to its thigh, even I begin to wonder if it’s not me who has the wrong idea.

“Your legs!” Princess Canina gasps, pulling away from their hug to examine the place she just touched. “They really aren’t leggings at all, but…?”

“That’s it! You found it. My most recent blessing from the Goddess! I decided to have my role as Jester carved into my body, and so She did!” The jester cavorts in a small circle. “Goddess, it hurt so much.”

Sure enough, casting a glance downward reveals that the diamond pattern on those legs are just its bare legs. Tattooed, maybe? No, the colors catch the light and reveal a certain glossy texture that resembles serpentine scales somehow. But if those aren’t pants, then… there really is nothing between the creature’s legs. Completely blank. I would be as fascinated as the princess running her hands along its body if not for my intense distaste for both this jester-thing and the goddess that so blesses it.

I look away, unable to stomach the scene any longer. I need only distance my mind from my surroundings and wait for the remainder of the day to pass, performing my duties with mechanical dispassion.

---

In dreams I watch myself laboring in an almost-familiar setting, casting glances toward myself in intermittent intervals. “Not ready yet,” I tell myself. A gesture from myself banishes me from sleep.

I awaken in pain as always.

---

“Why do you hate Goddess so?”

Canina seems unusually lost in thought this morning. Her moods can be unpredictable in the best of times, and I fear this may become an especially volatile day. Best to choose my words carefully, then.

“How much do you know of my life before I joined your household, Your Highness?” I know the answer, I just need a moment to think.

“Velle, I know nothing about you except that you once…” She stops herself abruptly. “I mean, you haven’t said much about yourself.”

What was she about to say? No, not important. How should I respond? Revealing some of myself judiciously might make for an opportunity to bond and build trust.

“I have had to learn self-sufficiency from a younger age than most, My Lady.” Lies are wonderful tools, but the closer one sticks to the truth, the easier one’s own stories are to remember. “Everything I have achieved for myself,” a headache threatens to derail me if I consider the details too closely, “I have had to strive most strenuously for.”

“Nobody ever helped you?”

“No. Many got in my way. I was hated for my intelligence, for my interests, for my gender, for my appearance. I had to fight tooth and nail for everything.“

Canina considers this for a moment. “Gender, yes, I know the king is… that way with women. But why would anyone hate you for being smart?”

“Ego, mostly. Adults hate to be outdone by a child. The old and wise cannot tolerate a novice who accomplishes what they have dismissed as impossible.” I exhale sharply as the pressure in my skull increases.

“Didn’t you have friends, though? Someone who was on your side?”

“Friends of a sort. There were plenty of people whose company I enjoyed now and then. Many of them offered help when I could have used it, but here’s something I learned at a young age: people love to offer help. It feels good to promise something nice. You get to feel like a good friend just for making the offer.”

“But you’re saying they lied.”

I bark a bitter laugh. “That’s the funny thing. I guarantee most of them didn’t think they were lying. They meant every word! Promises don’t give you those warm feelings unless you earnestly believe your own good intentions. It’s just that when it comes time to follow through, people realize they have higher priorities. Another lesson I learned: it’s a sign of a poor friend if you don’t forgive them for having better things to do than sticking to their commitments. A terrible cruelty it is to hold someone to their word.”

“So you don’t want to trust your fate to a higher power either. You have no more trust to offer.”

I grunt an affirmative through pain I fail to conceal. The princess notices.

“I’m sorry,” she offers in a quiet voice. “If those are Bad Memories for your headaches, we should change the subject. I think I understand you a little better, at least.”

I nod in gratitude and shove my own history to the back of my mind.

My Lady claps her hands together with a sudden, wide-eyed smile. “I have an idea! We should have a day all about you. And that’s not a promise for the future, we’ll do it today.“

“My Lady?”

Before I can object, Canina drags me to her ludicrous walk-in closet and tears through the racks in a frenzy. “No, no, not that one, maybe, maybe not, ah!”

With a tug, she extracts an elegant dress of shimmering black fabric and thrusts it toward me. “This one. It suits you perfectly, don’t you think?” I stammer in confusion, but before I can assemble a coherent response I see that she’s moved on, she’s somehow found an extra maid uniform and in the blink of an eye has donned the thing. “Today you get to be the lady, and I’ll play the role of maid. How’s that sound?”

It sounds like a violation of every courtly norm. It mocks royalty itself, spits on the court as an institution, and disgraces her title. It would drive the king mad if he found out, though he lives in another palace altogether. Yes, I can’t help but admit I love everything about this idea. Besides, anything that helps me grow closer to the princess serves my plans well.

Canina responds to my grin of approval with eagerness. “Now let’s get you dressed!”

Too late, I realize my error. She intends to help me change the way I do for her. “I would prefer privacy if I may, Princess Canina.”

“Nope! You’ve seen almost every part of me by now. It is both a maid’s duty and privilege to admire her lady’s figure while helping her dress. Now come here.”

Hardly a role reversal at all, I remain entirely at My Lady’s mercy, it would seem. With resignation, I brace for what must follow. My uniform comes off with suspiciously practiced motions, and before I have time to brace myself, I am exposed before a young woman who freezes in shock, staring at my body.

“Please let me explain—“

“You’re like me,” the princess whispers.

I startle. “I’m sorry?”

“You have a… man’s organ, like I once…”

“It’s not a man’s organ, it’s my organ.” Too firm. This could go badly very easily if I’m not extremely delicate. “And I promise you, My Lady, I am still a woman and still your maid.”

“No.” Her eyes well up with tears, and she embraces me in the same way she did after discovering we share the same headaches. “Not my maid.” She moves to take my hand in hers and places a dainty kiss on my fingers. “Today you are my Lady Velle.”

---

We visit the shrine. Of course we visit that damned shrine. Canina begged and pleaded until I agreed—which I did immediately because I know which of us is still truly in charge—and so we kneel as usual before the statue of the goddess she worships. Something about even that statue unsettles me, as though I ought to know more than I do about the figure it represents. Worse, by some trick of the light it feels like I catch it moving out of the corner of my eye. Of course, whenever I look directly at the thing, it remains the same as ever.

“Goddess, thank You for giving me Velle. She is absolutely perfect, and I know that You will only help her become more perfect once she accepts Your love. I pray for Your guidance to show me how I may lead her to Your holy light.”

I grit my teeth and endure. That Canina accepts me so readily is remarkably good fortune, and I will not throw such a stroke of luck away in a fit of petulance.

“Blessings of the Goddess to you both!” As we leave the shrine, we are accosted by that blasted creature again.

Yet before I can compose my retort, the princess speaks for me. “You will have to excuse us. My Lady does not approve of your antics, and it is my duty to dismiss you from her sight.”

The jester’s eyes flick between the two of us as it parses the role reversal on display. “But of course! Fool that I am, I would be more foolish yet if I displeased a woman of such high standing as Lady Velle. Worse, it would be terribly crass for me to deny a request from a maid as fine as yourself.” It winks at Canina, who breaks character with a giggle.

Content to have played its role in this game, the jester departs.

“Well done, Canina. You serve your lady well.” The princess blushes, wiggling her hips in obvious pleasure. I get the impression she’s enjoying this roleplay more than I am.

After this detour, however, I find myself at a loss for how to proceed. I’ve grown accustomed to the way my daily routine revolves around the princess’s whims, and I hardly know what to do with such leisure time. The most important thing at the moment is the Plan, but for that I need to continue building trust with Canina.

“As my housemaid, I would have you do something more for me.” She perks up, eager to be given an official task. “Plan something amusing we can do together.”

My play-maid’s eyes light up as though she were waiting for exactly this invitation. “With pleasure, My Lady. If you will follow me, I have just the idea.” With a spirited twirl that emphasizes the motion of her skirt, she leads me through palace hallways on a familiar journey back to her chambers.