#i think hes a good father who cares a lot based off of his relationship with janice

[baiwu-jinji]

I received a very thoughtful anon ask about Qi Rong and in the process of doing research for the ask, I came across a meta about Qi Rong on the Chinese website Zhihu that I absolutely loved, so I translated the meta into English - anon I will answer your ask ASAP, in the meantime I hope you're interested in this excellent meta:

I think Qi Rong's feelings for Xie Lian isn't that of a fan for his idol, but that of a child for an imaginary "father". So he wouldn't try to understand and study XL's character like Hua Cheng; he's only looking up to this "father figure".

This isn't a baseless conjecture - the relationship between father and son has always been a topic that can't be averted when it comes to Qi Rong. I'm guessing that when he was bullied and excluded by other kids in his childhood, it didn't occur to Qi Rong to hate the circumstances of his family; instead he wished for his father to stand up for him and help him teach those nasty kids a lesson. This wish had always existed in Qi Rong's heart and became a traumatising shadow of his childhood.

Whereas his cousin, the prince Xie Lian, who suddenly appeared in his life to help him, was unconsciously used by Qi Rong to fit his expectation of the "father". XL did what he expected a father to do, so he placed XL in his fantasies about a father. Since his abusive and useless father doesn't cut it, then someone as gentle and strong as XL must be the standard for what a "father" is like. Subconsciously Qi Rong had this idea.

Therefore I think a lot of the dumb and horrible things that Qi Rong did for XL is only due to the anxiety that a son feels towards the indifference of the "father", so he tried to do something compensatory to win the father's attention and approval; but this didn't work out at all.

This is also why he's good to Gu Zi, because Gu Zi is just another Qi Rong - he's abused by the father but still begs for the father's love and doesn't allow others to hurt his father. It's probably because Qi Rong understands what this feels like that he'd pretend to be a seemingly decent "father" for Gu Zi.

(Here the author also points out the connection between Qi Rong and Gu Zi based on their names, which needs to be explained to English readers in more detail - Qi Rong's name "Rong," in Chinese "容", is comprised of two parts: 宀 and 谷. The latter part is "Gu" (谷) as in Gu Zi's name, and the former part 宀 stands for a house or a home - in this sense the character "Rong 容" (Qi Rong) incorprates the character "Gu 谷" (Gi Zi) and provides a "home" or "shelter" for "Gu".)

Qi Rong shows off all kinds of places to the kid that he's never been to, deliberately bigs himself up, and protects the kid at the dire moment, because all of these are what Qi Rong hoped his father would do for him. However, Xie Lian was only a kid himself; how could he answer Qi Rong's expectations for a father?

Qi Rong undoubtedly loathes his biological father, because when Qi Rong was a kid, his father was useless and crass, made a laughing stock of Qi Rong and his mother and became the reason Qi Rong was mocked by other kids. But when Qi Rong needed his father and needed him to scold those kids, his father didn't care about him at all (probably only the father could accomplish this sort of task since Qi Rong's mother was depressed and sickly; this plot is repeated later on in Feng Xin and his son).

When the entire country was being destroyed, his other "father," Xie Lian, became a laughing stock too. XL didn't manage to help him before and after his death. For Qi Rong, this is a replay of the events that happened when he was five years old; this perfect "father" proves no different from his biological father.

So fundementally Qi Rong hates Xie Lian for the same reason that he hates his biological father. He indeed projected too many wishful fantasies on XL, but I think it's more about the son's disappointment towards a "father" instead of a believer's disappointment for a "god". In fact, whether XL activated the human face disease or whether he managed to saved Xianle is of secondary importance to Qi Rong; the complaints someone could voice out loud usually aren't what he actually cares about.

Of course, Qi Rong is possessed by the idea of avenging Xianle to some degree, otherwise he wouldn't have plotted revenge with other Xianle descendants. But what Qi Rong really cared about, he only managed to speak when his soul dissipated - it's what he always wanted to say to Xie Lian and his biological father but never could: "I worship and need you so much, but you don't care about me at all". This is more the case of a son who craves the father's love and complains about it. The relationship between Qi Rong and Gu Zi is comparable to the relationship between Jun Wu and Xie Lian. At least Gu Zi received some paternal love and won't grow up to be like Qi Rong, which is nice.

(For anyone interested in reading the original Chinese, here's the link: https://www.zhihu.com/question/372905885/answer/1735047946?utm_psn=1754070720630493184&fbclid=IwAR0eSI0gya5ERovl1C1Fphv2ZjnXGuKUalA378VWcZjoCj4NiUD7Pw6BDS0)

[mickmundy]

scout's ma headcanon thread! she was requested by a couple of people and i'm having a burst of inspiration for her so without further ado, let's get to it! i hope you like!

absolutely not your average "housewife"! there's lots of professions i entertain her having (hair/nail salon worker, waitress/bartender, something Generally Unassuming for a woman in the 70s to have as a job)… all intentionally mundane, but serving useful purpose in her life! good for keeping tabs on things around the city, sussing people out and potentially letting spy know any hot goss! these are just day jobs; she gets her thrills elsewhere!

knows everything happening everywhere, anytime. spy learned lots of his intuition-based skills from her! any time spy thinks he knows everything, she always has something in her back pocket that he doesn't! >:)

has a VERY contagious laugh that you can hear miles away. she loves being loud! will clap you really hard on your back or slam her hand on the table when she laughs.

can hold her liquor better than anyone around! doesn't like to get sloppy, but that doesn't mean she doesn't from time to time! loves drinking beer, but will always enjoy a nice glass of wine with her beloved spy! :-) wouldn't/doesn't care if scout is lgbt+ lol. it's absolutely not a big deal to him to come out to her, either. he knows his ma means it when she says she loves him no matter what! she will occasionally hit him with "well ya better bring somebody home to meet me sometime!" (loud laughter)

i think she'd be more financially well-off than her home leads one to believe; she's good at stashing and moving around spy's cash! her apartment is humble but she always looks immaculate. doesn't let scout know how much money she really has. very financially savvy and an incredible negotiator… even if it means getting a little ugly! used car salesman tremble in her presence!

fights like a scorned gambler who's owed a debt. won't let you know she can fight, though! likes it when people think she's just some dainty dame.

is a material girl, but knows what really matters. fell in love with spy before he was The Spy he is today and values loyalty and trust/honesty above all else. some might think that's ironic considering her partner of choice, but she'll be quick to quip back with a snide/cheeky "of course that's what you think! you only know the mask!"

breaking balls is her love language. she'll tease you, but never maliciously. this is also scout's, and one of spy's, languages of love too.

always trying to feed you. "put some more meat on your bones! it's good for ya!" (pops gum and winks at you) while i think she no doubt is well-versed in the lifestyle that spy leads, she's not Directly "in-it" like spy is. not an agent of any kind herself, but gives spy a hand when she can. knows how to shoot a gun and wield a kitchen knife!

grew up dirt poor and has "a champagne taste on a beer budget". high standards, takes no guff, won't hesitate to put you in your place. this (and many other reasons) is why spy loves her :-)

very charismatic, knows how to lie, but also how to be sincere. is genuinely a good mother to her boys, who love her in return. they're all protective of her even though they know they don't have to be; she has no problem sticking up for herself!

spy was not her first husband, but he's her favorite! she loves him very much, and he loves her. they aren't exes, they're happily together, and have an open relationship.

she knows all of the mercs (some better than others ofc!) and won't hesitate to talk their ears off when she visits the base, armed with embarrassing photos and stories about spy and scout that make them both groan and the mercs holler with laughter!

she picks out spy's suits for/with him. she's the only one spy would ever trust to dress him other than himself! they always look great together and accessorize around each other.

she does not tell scout about who his father is. not because she doesn't want to, but she knows the nature of spy's job and knows "the business" from being around him for all this time; it's the best thing to keep scout and herself (also spy!) safe. i think scout would be angry at first, but once it's explained to him, he'd understand. ma knows best!

spy taught her how to walk in heels and does things like painting her nails for her all the time. he always makes sure she has enough money for a well-deserved spa day, but if she knows he's coming to town, she'll let her nails get a little busted up so spy can paint them for her!

she loves to look at spy and sigh a fond "ugh, i could just kill you!" while smirking/bating her eyes at him after/as he showers her with gifts and other wonderful things… to which spy chuckles and hums lovingly and replies with "mhmhmm, ma petite chou fleur, if anyone could, it would be you. <3" and they give each other the most Loving Look.. :')

she's younger than spy but not by much. they met while she was a waitress in a diner in boston while spy was on a mission to assassinate a target in the city early in his career (when his suits were still cheap.. <3). he hides in the diner after a particularly fiery shootout and his pursuers come into the place. she recognizes him as the Quiet Gentleman who has been coming in for coffee in the mornings to enjoy with a cigarette. covers for him and spy never forgets her kindness and quick wit. he comes back after the mission ends and, with his payout from the job, treats her to a romantic night and promises to see her again. no matter how far away spy goes, he always returns to her! she has more faith in him than he deserves (so he says), to which she smirks and straightens his (now expensive <3) suit tie and places a kiss on his balaclava's cheek and says "we both know i only deserve the best." and winks at him and he smiles at her and hums in agreement.. kisses her hand… siigh.. this is a massively condensed "origin story" for them lol but! AH I LOVE THEM

AHH I HAVE SO MANY MORE THOUGHTS BUT FOR NOW.... i will leave with all of this... HEHE TYSM for reading! ^__^ i hope you enjoy ehe!!

[ja3hwa]

♡ 𝐖𝐚𝐬 𝐈𝐭 𝐀𝐥𝐥 𝐉𝐮𝐬𝐭 𝐀 𝐃𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐦 𝐏𝐭.𝟓 | 𝐊.𝐇𝐉 ♡

【Synopsis】 : Fear was clouding both you and Hongjoong's judgement, leading you to question whether Hongjoong actually likes you the way you do him or not. Would a confession fix everything? Or would it cause a rift between the two of you?

『Word count』 :  1.21k

-> Genre: Smut. Angsty but Fluffy. Romance. DBF.

Pairing: Dilf!Hongjoong x Park!Reader 

[Warnings] : Making out. Mentions of sex. Hongjoong can keep his hands to himself. Crying, heartbreak. Fear and insecurities. Lots of sappy cheesy romance novel stuff. Slight miscommunication trope. What can i say, i live to cause chaos. Hehe. Also, I love to point out that i love Seonghwa very much, and any i say about him doesn't mean anything.

Note: I know, I know. You were probably hoping for the first time, hehe. But no, Daddy Joong and Angel needed to have a heart to heart first. Haha. And I wanted the smut to be in one part, and it's gonna be a long one, hehe. Enjoy this for now, my beautiful babies. ♡♡♡

Masterlist | Navigation | Part Four | Buy Me A Ko-Fi

The dinner felt like something out of a romance novel or movie. Everything was perfect, down to the last bite of your dessert. The way the chocolate melted on your tongue and the whipped cream spilled down your throat, dripping down your chin. Hongjoong had to bite back a groan at the way your eyes rolled back in pleasure. You found out that Hongjoong owns the restaurant, which caught you by complete surprise, given he didn’t know the first thing about cooking. He had spoken about how he was originally going to be a bar, but his mother mentioned she would have loved to own a restaurant with opened windows, grand red couches, and welcoming smiles. His dream quickly became something to resemble his mother. He wanted her to know how much he loved her, even when he was being his cold stand-off self. She helped a lot in his life, and he missed her every day.

He parked outside your apartment, and the silence continued. Only the soft pitter-patter of rain hitting the windshield. You didn’t want to get out of the car. You didn’t want the night to end, and as he turned to look at you in the eyes, you knew he didn’t want it to end either. “Why don’t you come up…. Coffee maybe…”

Your heart was racing, feeling all your nerves shaking at you. You needed to push yourself, push him. Show him you could be assertive… mature. He sighed, biting his bottom lip while looking back to the dark wet street in front of the car. He had conflicting feelings like his mind was splitting into two. You felt your heart breaking with each breath, with each silent second. “I don’t think that is a good idea…”

“Why?!” You said that way too quickly than you’d like, knuckles turning white as you clench the fabric of your dress in between your fingers. He just sighed again, making your heart shatter slowly. He raked his hand through his hair, searching for the right words to say without causing a miscommunication or pain.

“If I go up there, then I won't come back down.” His words made you hold a breath. Did he mean that? Was he worried about having sex with you? Be with you? You quickly responded with a simple ‘so’ which probably made you sound like an upset, desperate teenager, but you didn’t care, needing to hear him out. “I don’t think it’s a good idea. Not yet. Your father is uhh…”

There it was. The cruel reminder of who you were to him. His best friend's daughter. Just some silly little girl that he was fooling around with. You sagged completely into your chair, trying to balance the weight forming on your chest. You felt like you couldn’t breathe like you were suffocating in the small vehicle. No matter how hard you fight or how much he tries to forget, your relationship will be constantly based on what your father thinks. Your father's feelings. Not yours.

 “I see…” You finally spoke. “Well, I’ll see you later than Hongjoong. Tonight was lovely…really lovely.” You got out before he could say another word. But you knew he was calling your name, trying to get you to hear his reasoning. Why he say what he said. The rain that was lightly spitting when you were in the restaurant was now bucketing down. You tried to get to the door of your building as quickly as possible, but a firm grip of your wrist stopped you. You turned to see a soaking Hongjoong, looking desperate and…regretful.

“I want to be with you. Don’t you ever think otherwise.” He yelled over the rain, your eyes growing wide as he put his left hand on your cheek, stroking your wet skin with his thumb. “I suck at voicing my thoughts. Please…please don’t think I don’t want you angel. You are the only thing in my life that makes me want to live again.”

You could feel your throat closing and your heart racing. Tears were falling along with the rain, ruining your make-up. He inched close, letting you feel his breath on your skin. Then you closed the gap, letting him lock his lips against yours. He kissed you more passionately, unlike the lust-filled kisses you’ve shared with him. He kissed you like you were the only person left in the world. He kisses you like he needs it to breathe. He needed you more than he could ever explain. But fuck, if he wasn’t going to try to show you exactly how he feels, with every kiss, every soft touch and every whisper of sweet nothings in your ear. He wasn’t afraid of your father. He wasn’t afraid of what his other friends might think. He was going to shout from the rooftop how much he has fallen in love with you, and he was going to make sure you knew he meant every word.

“I think I’ve fallen in love with you.” You whispered, your tears turning into a sob. Your fingers were tangled in his wet shirt, fearing he’d disappear if you let go. And then he smiled, he laughed. His nose rubbing against yours, he whispered back…

“I’m definitely in love with you, angel. I’ve been in love with you the moment you step out of your car in that fucking perfect little dress.” He groaned kissing you again. He swallowed your giggles as you both felt a euphoric feeling like no other. It was like a switch went off. The last puzzle piece fell into place and nothing else outside your little bubble mattered. His plans to make your first time was about to go out the fucking window….

“If you don’t get back in my car right now, I’ll drag you into it.” His words were dark, tainting on your lips. It was like a drug you’d never get enough of. Quickly, without slipping, you got back into his expensive car, your hand never leaving his thigh as he drove and your lips suckling on his neck. Hongjoong was glad it was almost two in the morning, and no one was on the road. Otherwise, he would've most likely hit someone with how fast he was going. He made it back to his apartment in no time, and without another moment to spear, he dragged you towards the elevator by your hand. Fingers entangled with yours.. he pinned you against the wall in a feverish kiss, holding the back of your neck, guiding your mouth with his. This was not what he wanted your first time to be like. But god, did he need every second of it.

The way his hand crept up your dress, crawling at your hips. Feeling your frilly panties along his fingertips. His tongue raked down your hot skin, suckling a bright red mark on your neck. He was going to litter you with his marks, every part of your beautiful untouched body. Taint it like you were made for him. He was going to fuck you like it was the last thing he was ever going to do. Because you deserved every treatment he gave you.

No matter what your father was going to think. He’d deal with the prick afterwards.

-♡

[wh0relibrarian]

pretty thing

full fic based on this

just a few headcanons while I start working on a longer piece (I’m back home for the holidays and the idea of Sukuna being from the deep south has me frothing at the mouth)

content ahead: southern sukuna au, black coded!reader, just slight innuendos, reader is in her early 20s and sukuna is in his 30s, not reallyyy canon at all!! so don’t expect accurate information on his past, also, not his true form. don’t hate me!

word count: 913

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*✧･ﾟ: *✧･ﾟ:*

Southern!Sukuna who was born and raised in the deep south by a loving, yet distant mother. His father was never in the picture, but it’s okay, because Sukuna quickly learned that it would be his job to take care of his mother and little brother. This was no problem for him.

Southern!Sukuna who has always been a hard worker. Eventually, he’d come to run his own construction company. He’d been working his way up the ladder since he was eighteen. Now in his thirties he believes he should start doing something other than work. Maybe linger around a bar or two, see what “Tinder” is all about.

Southern!Sukuna who goes away on a business trip, never being the one to fly, but it was necessary for an upcoming project he had up north. One thing about Sukuna, he’ll always rep his home state. He’ll always have a shirt with the (insert a southern state) flag on it, if not a matching hat, it’ll be one from Bass Pro Shops. His entire body is tattooed from neck to ankle. He’s been getting them for years and they make his complexion look like silk. He takes incredibly good care of his skin, he has to in his line of work.

Southern!Sukuna who sees you eyeing him from his peripheral vision. You tried to be subtle, looking away as soon as his eyes would meet yours, but he caught you each time. You just couldn’t help yourself, the man was beautiful. You couldn’t help think what on earth a fucking cowboy was doing on this side of the country. Sure, you were going back to your hometown for the winter but there’s no way his reasoning was the same. He was visibly older, and no man with family up north looks that redneck. You had to know more about him, but oh god, you’d never actually approach him. 

Southern!Sukuna who walks up behind you while you wait for your bag to drop from baggage claim, as was he. It startled you, mainly because you swore he was just waving at someone waiting for him outside, you thought he was gone already; so when you feel a light tap on your shoulder, you expect it to be your mother who was supposed to be waiting for you in the parking lot. When you turn around and see a 5 '8 man (short king, but taller than me) looking down at you with wide eyes you can’t help but jump back. He didn’t mean to startle you, he just wanted to know what a pretty thing like you was doing in his neck of the woods. 

“I ain’t mean to scare you, sweetheart,” he reaches out his right hand from his pocket to give you a handshake, you reciprocate of course, still in awe that he’s speaking to you. “Was just wonderin’ what a pretty thing like you was doin’ in my neck of the woods.” His southern drawl was thick, and smooth. The way his words reverberated off his tongue sent heat waves straight to your cunt. 

Southern!Sukuna asks for your number, just so he can check on his favorite city girl throughout the holiday. After a short conversation, he learned that you were really only here for family. No relationship, no notable friendships, simply spending the next four weeks in what seemed like an all expense paid nature getaway. He didn’t want you to be lonely, claiming that he’d check on you every now and then to see how you were doing, maybe take you out at some point if you were up to it. You still couldn’t believe the exchange, he invaded your personal space with the most intoxicating scent— some type of deep musk he clearly used to cover the underlying smell of cigarettes. 

Southern!Sukuna who thought about you for days. You were unlike anything he’d laid eyes on. The first thing that stuck out was your hair. Thick and curly, not falling below your ears, but in the most gorgeous afro he’d ever seen. The ends were pink and he couldn’t help but think you both were meant to be, since his entire head was a light pink shade. Your skin looked so smooth, you smelled like clean laundry and strawberries. Maybe some type of sugary substance too. He pondered on all of these things for days, just aching for you to text him how bored you were, how you wanted to spend some time with him.

Southern!Sukuna who damn near fell out when he got a notification on his phone.

(111) 222-3333

Hey :) it’s the girl you met at the airport. I just realized I never got your name? I never told you mine either, lol, I’m ____.

You anticipated his response, thinking for a second that maybe you said too much. Surely an older guy like him doesn’t want to text like this. But then—

(444) 555-6666

Hey, sweetheart. Such a pretty name. Sorry for not properly introducing myself before, I’m Sukuna.

[stillfrownyclownlol]

@moonbiine got me with the Aiden bug

I thought a lot about how to start this and none of them were good so, here's this;

Frowny's Thesis on Aiden Clark having Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) based on the DSM-5 criteria, living with people with BPD (hi dad!), being...me!, and general vibes.

What is BPD?

Borderline Personality Disorder is defined by a prolonged disturbance of function marked by depth and variability of mood, pattern of unstable personal relationships, unstable self-image, marked impulsivity, and other symptoms. They can manifest in very different ways (the way it appears between my dad and my grandma for example is not the same), but generally includes this.

1. Fear of Abandonment

Nobody wants to be left behind, that's a given, but for people with BPD this fear can spiral into a paranoid phobia that impacts all their personal relationships. Because BPD is influenced by environmental factors, this often stems from children being abandoned in their youth (ex. My father was the child of a teen pregnancy and his parents couldn't care for him for the first few years of his life, letting him be raised by his grandparents. I also grew up alternatively without my mom and withouty my dad, and once for a time with neither of them)

It's been shown to us before that Aiden's parents are often absent from the house, for even months at a time. He seems very used to this and it's likely he grew up very isolated or passed around between different relatives. And I do think this shows in his attachment style; he is a very clingy and sort of "decides" to hyperfixate on a certain person (Ash *coughs*) in the hopes that they'll become friends, and he does this very quickly. Already so scared of losing Ash on that roof even tho he's only known her for like 3 months at this point. He really can't bear the thought of her not being with him.

On the subject of Ash he's idolized her sooooo bad she's so screwed. Pls the Angelic lighting filter he puts on her?? SHE CANT SAVE YOU AIDEN. YOU HAVE TO DO IT YOURSELF. (But i get it its hard) Ties back into how people with BPD see the world in strict black and white, he can't see Ash's flaws and that's how he defends her so much, she's literally like a savior to him and here comes the disciple complex.

He's been forced to move so many times, he's probably made friends who just couldn't keep up the effort of maintaining a long distance friendship and ghosted him, or even him doing the opposite, pushing people away just to avoid the sting of abandonment again. They can't hurt you if you hurt them first.

2. Unstable self-image.

He bleaches his hair end of story /j

No but really, tell me Aiden doesn't put up a persona- he's gone through the phases from quiet gifted kid to an impulsive extroverted mischievous mess. Don't you just look at him and feel the self-hatred coming off in waves?? Dyeing his hair, getting contacts, the ever present grin that must be painful at this point, it's like he can't...look at himself. Like he doesn't want to look at himself.

He can't even face his own problems; he literally paints a clown face on himself after dying cuz he doesn't want to process his feelings about it lol 🫠

Like genuinely, how exactly does Aiden want to be perceived? What is the point of this facade? For himself? For other people? I think he's just trying to shut away his past and start fresh without having to confront it, but...when the root is rotten, nothing healthy can grow, so he needs to get to the source of his issues.

3. Anger regulation problems

Unpopular opinion probably but he seems so angry to me. It's definitely WAY more present in the early chapters like when he goes tf off on Tyler, he was barely controlling himself there asdfghjkl- but I think it manifests more in him attacking the phantoms, it's obviously an adrenaline thing for him but I think he's taking out a lot of anger at the same time too. Even if some of this anger is coming from a righteous place; the desire to protect his loved ones (which ties into the abandonment too, you are still abandoned even when it wasn't their choice), because peope with BPD see the world as smth very...dangerous, I guess is the word? Even if maybe that doesn't apply to themselves

(Fastpass spoilers)

He's also not above taking his anger out on humans either considering he was about to take Alex's eyes out with that paintbrush and was gonna choke the life outta them-

(Done.)

4. Consistent feelings of sadness/worthlessness.

5. Self-injury, suicidal behaviour, suicidal ideation.

Aiden do be a sadboi even with all the smiley faces on his clothes. I think this is probably smth that was way worse when he was younger that led to that depression where he was locked in his room eating junk food and disassociating, and while he's probably coping with it differently it's still smth he struggles with. I mean shiiiiiit, because of his impulsiveness he does kinda cause problems but God he feels SOOOO goddamn bad about it lahdlsj, he was so guilty about the Ash situation, he probably beat himself up so much about that-

Emotions are very extreme, it's 'similar' to bipolar disorder with manic and depressive episodes, except they happen at a much quicker scale (in the same day for ex.) which seems to me how Aiden only lets himself experience positive emotions even tho he's in a deeply stressful situation (even tho there's good parts too like his friends) because he just can't handle having to fully experience those negative emotions.

Check, check, check! Aiden has zero self preservation instincts, he throws himself off walls, gets up close and personal with phantoms that could easily kill him, actually didn't give a fuck about dying?? Actually ENJOYED IT? But didn't wanna do it again because his Favourite person was worried about him and the absolute high of that feeling completely beat out anything else?? Okay man, we get it, you're living for somebody else at this point-

People with BPD suffer from chronic feelings of emptiness and pain is the best kind of distraction for Aiden (cue: him slamming his forehead on the table because he's bored)

6. Impulsive behaviors (aka a bunch of shit which can be summed up as addictions)

Well, for starters, he's an absolute adrenaline junkie, because he feels so constantly empty Aiden wants something to make him feel alive. And adrenaline is the flawless, biological, factual answer to this. Ergo all his octane hobbies and impulsive behaviors. Ties back into his obsessiveness, which, don't get me wrong this doesn't make him a bad guy or anything, we all get a little obsessed with things sometimes, that's just things humans do- but when you have bpd, it's very...difficult to just STAY happy, like an addiction, when the high wears off, they're empty again.

Maybe a bit of a stretch, but considering all the Ramen packets in his room when he was younger I wouldn't be surprised if he had some sort of ED or binge eats (Same bestie.)

Also for sure a reckless driver I'm 99% sure he crashed all those go-karts he drived before.

---

I don't really know where I'm going with this. It's hard to live with somebody who has BPD, it's hard to live with it yourself, it's hard to see other people go through it even when it's hurting yourself. I hate pushing people away, but you get so caught up in your own thoughts, and it just...happens...and when it's done...you really regret it, but it's too late...and you just wonder if things are better like this, being alone and not hurting anybody anymore, cuz they're certainly happy on their own

I don't think anybody who has bpd is automatically a bad person, they just have things harder than normal. People with BPD....they can be amazing artists, or good with animals, or really very kind. They have very big hearts, thats why they feel so deeply. And I think Aiden is a good person, because he has so much love to give, but has never been given an outlet to express that properly, but you can see him making great strides in learning how, with the help of his friends 🧡

Might edit this later when I get my thoughts more clear it's midnight here lol

[latristereina]

“Her mouth was sweet and he gently pulled her down on the bed. She closed her eyes, waiting for him to make love to her and Michael felt an enormous happiness. He had spent the war years fighting in the Pacific, and on those bloody islands he had dreamed of a girl like Kay Adams. Of a beauty like hers. A fair and fragile body, milky-skinned and electrified by passion.”

“He was surprised to find himself so secretive with Kay. He loved her, he trusted her, but he would never tell her anything about his father or the Family. She was an outsider.”

“Michael often thought of Kay, of her smile, her body, and always felt a twinge of conscience at leaving her so brutally without a word of farewell.”

“…it was nothing like the love he’d had for Kay, a love based as much on her sweetness, her intelligence and the polarity of the fair and dark.”

“Kay was silent for a long time. ‘Why do you want me to marry you after never calling me all these months? Am I so good in bed?’ Michael nodded gravely. ‘Sure,’ he said. ‘But I’m getting it for nothing so why should I marry you for that?’”

‘You are the only person I felt any affection for, that I care about.’

“But Kay was grateful. She knew that Michael had done it against all his own inclinations. Had done it because she had asked him to, and that she was the only person in the world who could make him act against his own nature.”

“Kay put her hand on Hagen’s arm. ‘He didn’t order you to tell me all the other things?’ Hagen hesitated a moment as if debating whether to tell her a final truth. ‘You still don’t understand,’ he said. ‘If you told Michael what I’ve told you today, I’m a dead man.’ He paused again. ‘You and the children are the only people on this earth he couldn’t harm.’”

- Mario Puzo, “The Godfather”

“Michael loved her when he met her and he loved her throughout his life and he loves her to this day, even though their relationship was surrounded by a lie. He not only loves her, he admires her.”

- Al Pacino, (x)

“And consequently, as we see him even in his commendatory finery receiving the highest award the Vatican can bestow he…his face is a mirror of his soul that’s ravaged and sickly, and very very heartbroken because what he values the most is the thing that he has lost… but he has his children, and his children at this point, I would think to Michael mean everything, his daughter and his son.”

“Although to me, what is about to happen here is the beginning of rebuilding of what really means most to him…I have no doubt that Michael despite the limitations of his Sicilian-American upbringing, and how men were supposed to be, how women were supposed to be, and wives were supposed to be, he really loved Kay, much as Diane and Al really love each other or loved each other, or probably will always love each other… I felt we were dealing with real things in the context of this romantic novel.”

- Francis Ford Coppola’s DVD commentary, (x)

“He would do it for his children, this boy and this girl that was all he had left of his marriage with Kay, which obviously meant a lot to him but which she basically pulled the plug on. She was not going to be married to a man who murdered people and stuff.”

“I saw what Michael had, and thereby understood what he had lost. He loved Kay, you know. Kay represented to him this dream that one day he would be out of it. He would have achieved the goal, which was to one day be totally legitimate. He had promised her that he would do that and somehow he was not quite able to just pull it off.”

- Francis Ford Coppola, (x)

@godfat-her

[blooming-violets]

just finished five minutes. what other angsty goodness do you have to offer?!

Something Unforgivable

Peter cheats on his depressed, grieving girlfriend and feels like shit about it (as he should!!) and then part three randomly turns into a sex trafficking ring and murder fest story to spice things up.

Dancing On My Own (and the sequel)

People literally despise the fuck out of Peter in this fic. I seemed to have managed to make a typically beloved babyboy the most hated character. Then I tried to redeem him a bit but only made it worse and made people hate him more...but it's angsty af. And I personally think the ending fits their characters perfectly and makes total sense based on how I wrote them/their trauma/backstory buuuut it doesn't make people happy! ANGST

Nicest Thing

Honestly, this fic was written way before Dancing On My Own but they sort of have very similar vibes and I used a lot of inspo from this one to write DOMO. Like they could be the same Reader character person just in a slightly alternate universe. Peter's bff who's in love with him but he loves Gwen and then she dies and he's depressed and his friend tries to help him but it's hard to help grieving angry people.

Pinky Promise

there's children trying to jump off buildings and terrible fathers and attacks on nyc and two sad people just trying to find love in the midst of it all

Imminent

you see the future and that future shows Peter Parker's death. This is one of my favorite things I've done and I don't even think it's written that well but I think it's a unique concept and therefore it's my fav

Creature Like Me

This is my pride and joy. It's my baby. This is the most "I'm writing for me and only me" story I've ever done. It's just me pumping out chapters and like three people reading and cheering me on. And I have genuinely loved every single second. I. Fucking. Love. This. Story. So. Damn. Much.

Don't

This is short. Peter's an asshole during a fight. I like it because Reader stands up for herself and draws some boundaries. Don't let men treat you like shit. That's the message.

Are You Real?

Someone asked to me write fluff but I didn't see that so I defaulted to angst instead. A touch starved reader in a long distance relationship with Peter.

Touch Starved

Another touched starved but it's Peter who's in need of love.

From my Hurt/Comfort Bingo (that I should get back to completing some day): Caring for Reader's Wounds After Fight (home break in), Look At Me (stuck in an armed robbery), Car Accident (title speaks for itself, ended up as a 3 part mini series), Bring Your Kids to Work Day (reader is stuck in a fire with two kids and no way out)

Smut with Angst elements:

Cheating With Peter

Your marriage sucks, you're in love with Peter, all he seems to want is sex from you though and nothing more so you give it to him bc at least it means you'll be his in some sad pathetic way

In The Dark

Depressed reader needs Peter's help to find her way out of the darkness of her mind (through anal sex, apparently)

Ok that should be more than enough to keep you satisfied.

[bedtimegiraffe]

Here's my little essay about King Arlan (and a little bit about Baldur) and their complicated relationship with ruling effectively.

Arlan, the (overall) very good king

King Arlan is keeping the kingdom running well

In the very first lore tablet, you learn that, "King Arlan Valleros VII currently sits on the throne. Known as the Gentle King, Arlan has reigned over a period of great peace and prosperity."

Periods of great peace and prosperity are not easy! It's a combination of luck, delegating effectively, and putting in a ton of administrative work to make sure the laws and policies work for the unique situation your nation is in at this moment. That stuff does not happen on accident.

Based on Aerin's statements that he never really saw his father, I'm assuming Arlan keeps busy with actually running the country. We never see Arlan show interest in hunting or any vices that would take similar amounts of time. I also don't get the sense that Arlan and Baldur are always like, hanging out. And we don't interact with many administrators, making him seem pretty hands-on.

King Arlan knows how to maintain an image

When you return from the Shadow Realm...

King Arlan is very savvy. Maybe he's sincere, who knows! But publicly honoring the heroes who saved your ass is a great way to get goodwill for yourself and make it so you no longer owe those heroes. Your party puts in quite a lot of work to save Morella and King Arlan just lets you take some weapons and armor no one was using anyway. Doesn't even send a single guard to help. Unlike Book 2...

Before the battle he does a great job making it seem like he's doing you a favor. Like you asked for his help and he's magnanimously granting it, even though the Ash Empire is very much coming to destroy his capital!

Which brings us to his take on Aerin being gone (assuming he was imprisoned previously)...

This is an awful thing to say about your son! But it's actually a pretty cunning move as a king. Arlan was absolutely right- his best move was to let Aerin go and hope he got killed. He gets to eliminate a problem making him look bad to the court (his son who committed murder and treason in a very public manner) and keep his reputation as a nice guy. He's the 'Gentle King,' not the 'Strong King' or 'Decisive King.'

And in the very unlikely (in his estimation) chance Aerin did come back alive and looking heroic, Arlan could keep him imprisoned indefinitely. Or (much less likely) he could say Aerin was corrupted before and use his success as an excuse to get one of his kids back in the line of succession. That's good for your ego and can help prevent a succession crisis if there isn't a super clear heir in place (which seems to be the case currently).

Overall, (and completely separate from him being a horrendous father) it seems to be like Arlan is actually a very good king. But there is one part of the job he sucks at...

Arlan's fatal flaw is that he is terrible at reading people.

'Baldur's great, no concerns!'

Obviously, we know that thinking that Baldur is going to be a good king is stupid.

But why didn't King Arlan know that? Aerin (who does seem to be pretty good at reading people) says he's, "handsome, bold, outgoing." Those things are all great for winning people over!

But not nearly enough to actually run a country. We know Baldur's not really even trying to have any of the practical, administrative skills that requires. And this system does not seem set up to function with a figurehead.

You know that tutor must have clocked that Baldur was asleep! It was probably common knowledge at the palace that Baldur never learned a damn thing. Either Arlan didn't realize his heir was not gaining any practical ruling skills (bad sign) or he didn't care (also a bad sign).

Even monarchs who aren't invested in their kids as people are usually very invested in their education. Because that's how you make sure the wheels don't fall off once you die, ending your glorious bloodline.

Aerin tells us that Baldur would never contradict their father. So Arlan absolutely could have forced him to read a damn book. But for some reason, he didn't.

'My second son sucks...

Arlan truly thinks that Aerin is useless. Which is a wild stance to take after you watched him kill big strong Baldur in a single blow and open a portal to the Shadow Realm.

Arlan got there a little late for Aerin's full villain monologue. But the second your party disappears through the portal, the smart thing would have been to determine if Aerin did any more damage. It didn't feel like it to Aerin, but he had tremendous access to people and resources. For all King Arlan knows, this could have been just one piece of a bigger plot.

And it was! Aerin admitted to corrupting dozens of people, usually very connected people. That's a ticking time bomb just waiting to cause more damage. One it doesn't seem like King Arlan ever looks into.

Arlan seems to just assume that Aerin can't cause damage because he's... not physically imposing? Because knowledge and connections are never a threat to power?

Pre-crisis, Aerin also talks about trying to smooth over Baldur's brash decisions. Having someone to soften the blow of harsh or unpopular decisions is absolutely crucial for any ruler, but especially one like Baldur. Yet Arlan doesn't seem to have any awareness of that either.

So Arlan at least picked up some vibes from Aerin that he was... something. Troubled could be 'miserable,' but this statement makes it feel more 'he creeps me out.'

-and I'm not worried about that.'

Even if Aerin was incompetent or messed up, King Arlan should have been concerned about that! Baldur is very strong and presumably good at not dying. But he throws himself into dangerous situations all the time for fun! There is a very good reason most monarchs don't stop at one kid if they can help it.

History is absolutely littered with examples of people who inherited a throne and ran things into the ground because they didn't have the ability to manage the amount of power they had effectively. If Arlan thought Aerin could fall into that category, he should have had people working around the clock to get him up to standard just in case.

Instead, King Arlan fully ignored Aerin, letting him just haunt the archives like a depressed ghost.

'The Heroes of Morella obviously agree with me, they're important!'

King Arlan makes the assumption, based on your party's status, that you'll agree with him on the 'complicated politics' of executing your own kid. Because you're not 'commoners.' Your party includes one elven noble, one orcish (until like 2 days ago) princess, and one human with a very prominent position in the Temple. Mal is more under the radar, but he was still proclaimed a hero. And your character is the most Hero of all.

So Arlan basically does that thing some people do where they trash talk a marginalized group, because everyone in the room looks like they belong to the majority group, so why would they object? (Never a good look.)

But Mal and Nia are both, at least to you, visibly angry with Arlan for being excited his son is (presumably) dead.

Still, no effort to backtrack or soften the blow from King Arlan. Just sails right over the dude's head that Mal looks pissed and Nia is using her damn customer service voice.

Seriously, King Arlan should probably keep an eye out for Mal... Not a big monarchist, that one.

Bonus Baldur, the tremendous idiot

The fact that Baldur thinks he's the first of his name, when "Baldur Valleros" literally founded his dynasty, is incredibly funny to me. Such ignorance. Such hubris.

I am not about to give him the benefit of the doubt that maybe Baldur I went straight to being king, so our dumbass is the first "Prince Baldur Valleros." His father is Arlan VII, there's no way no other king has named their heir after the founder of the dynasty. More evidence that he has never once learned a thing.

(Don't worry about Kade- he took a shadow lance to the face but he's fine. He's mostly fine. Feel free to look at my older posts if you're curious how that went down.)

Baldur seems to make the same assumptions about people based on their status as his father. I don't think it's an accident that when Baldur wants to tell gross stories (including the phrase "slum girls"), he immediately grabs Mal, the human man. Mal isn't all that subtle about his disdain for the nobility, but he still looks like the best one for Baldur to win over. Mal is also the one who steps up and negotiates for the group, making him look like the leader- even more Baldur catnip.

[romeulusroy]

Succession Preference: Baby Roy's Relationship (Non-Roy Characters)

Requested: loving all the baby roy content!! but i am curious: What are interactions with baby roy and greg like? does she bully him, too? does she just give him the sad “welcome to the shit show” smile? is she envious that he never had to grow up like this? - anon

A/N: These relationships are based on this particular fic/headcanon set. They're my favorite Baby Roy, and I think it really complicates some of these relationships! I know this was more of a question rather than a request, but I just couldn't get it out of my head!!! Feedback is always appreciated 💜💜💜

Tom doesn't like you. You don't like Tom. The feelings are mutual. Not only do you think he isn't good enough for Shiv, which he's not, but you two have a lot of unspoken tension and hostility that's there just because you're you. Tom thinks you're a fuck-up. You're an addict and an alcoholic. You have been since you were a kid. With all the money and opportunities you and all your siblings have had, and yet you turn out like that? Rehab after rehab. Overdose after overdose. Not even your own father could stand you in those later years. He understands why he locked you in your room for days at a time, why he hired nanny after nanny so he wouldn't have to deal with you. Even your own mother doesn't love you. Tom thinks you shouldn't have any power in the company that you shouldn't have any say. Not after the stunts you've pulled. He still can't believe your brothers and sister still ask your thoughts and genuinely listen to you. You've shown him that you're not a Roy. You're not ready to hold that title. If anyone is, it's him. Not you. But he has to put up with you. You both resort to the silent treatment and talk behind one another backs. It's just easier this way.

Greg likes you, at least as much as he likes your siblings. He's kinda afraid of you. He's intimidated by you, to say the least. You're an all or nothing person. Growing up, you were in the thralls of your addiction and often got him involved. Could he go into your room and get you a white circle pill from the prescription bottle in your nightstand? Could he get you another drink? Don't tell Logan. Greg wasn't sure what to do. He couldn't say no to you. He was definitely scared of you, so often he did as he was told. Now that you're sober, he's grateful you can have some type of normal relationship. Kinda. Normal for him, at least. Like your siblings, you order him around a lot. He's in the way or just around too much. Who invited Greg? You don't see him as one of your equals. He's just there, Tom's assistant, basically. When it's just you and him, you're capable of having a relationship, but as soon as Tom invited himself, you're immediately turned off. To you, he's an extension of Tom. He's the puppet to his master. You don't have a lot of respect for him either. He does as he's told. There's no fight, there's no push back. When Tom destroyed his office he just let it happen. You have your issues, but you're not a pushover.

Marcia wants to act like your mother. She knows your mother is pretty absent and doesn't want to deal with you, contributing to your issues. She hopes that if she steps up, you'll confide in her, and you'll get your act together. She and Logan talk about your issues long before your siblings ever know. But he's not concerned. He sees no problem with it. You've gotten your temper under control. Secretly, Marcia worries, but without Logan behind her, she can do nothing. You don't like her. She's not your mother, and she never will be. Maybe she genuinely cares, maybe not. It doesn't matter to you. Years she spent watching you hurt yourself, and she did nothing. You come and go as you please. When you are home, she fears she'll have to call an ambulance every time. You and Shiv make jokes at her expense and laugh along with your brothers when they have something to say. She was an accomplice all those years, and you can't forgive her for that. She's just another one of his wives. That's it.

Gerri is a lot like your mother figure. She has the relationship that Marcia wants. She's the one you go to when you have no one else, when your father has iced you out. She's always had a soft spot for you. You're the baby, after all. She's there for your first drink, and hopefully, your last. She watched you grow up. She watched you spiral. She knew everything Logan knew. And he knew everything. It was Gerri on the phone with you after a hospital visit, telling you that she was sorry but your father was very busy, too busy to talk to you. She was the one who called, angry, fearing the worst, while in Norway. She sat in the emergency room while you got your stomach pumped. She was there through it all. Not Logan, certainly not your own mother. She gives Roman the cold shoulder, but she can't bear to let you go. You're like one of her own. She still emails, asking how you're doing. You tell her you're still sober. You definitely go to her for all your mothering needs and approval. When she's around you understand what it would have been like had your mother actually been caring and attentive.

Lukas likes you a lot. When you called them during their getaway to Norway, when you overdosed again and they came running to your rescue, he didn't see weakness like everyone else had. He saw power. He saw someone who had a shitty childhood and did something about it. Granted, it maybe wasn't the best thing, but you did something about it. It was a major middle finger to your father and everyone involved in the company. That takes guts. Far more guts than the rest of your family has, he thinks. You wouldn't meet until he signed the Gojo deal. It's there that he expresses interest in you. You aren't like your siblings. Look at you. You're barely clinging on. You're real. You're a real person with real faults and a hell of a history. He'd like to order you a water and hear all about it. Your siblings make sure you stay far away from him. He's screwed them over now. He is not to be trusted, especially around the baby of the family. Not now, not ever. You don't think you like him. He chose Tom for Christ's sake. Tom, of all people. His judgment must be piss poor if he chose Tom. He's not as smart as everyone thinks. That was a bad move for the future of the company.

Stewy is actually a good friend of yours. You've known him as long as he's known Kendall. You grew up before his eyes. You guys aren't that close outside of clubs and bars. He's a bit of partier himself. Like he says, he likes bad drugs. You two would find one another at a club and spend a few hours together. This was before your family knew about your late nights. Stewy was impressed by your tolerance, forgetting you were still just a teenager. He was too messed up to remember to care. You'd get high and dance, and at the end of the night, you'd throw however much you owed him at him. Money was never an issue. He made the mistake of bringing it up to Kendall shortly after they figured out what was going on. Kendall banned Stewy from seeing you from getting near you. How could he? You partied at all the same places. You'd assured him that Kendall was just being dramatic when he said that. Stewy wasn't your only dealer, but he was the smartest. You didn't get anything laced with him. Now you're not as close. He still says hi, but he still goes out, gets fucked up. As much as you want to, you can't.

Uncle Ewan has similar feelings towards you as Tom. He's called you a "junkie" more times than you can count. He doesn't let you defend yourself and doesn't care what your siblings have to say about it either. He doesn't see you as Logan's child or even as a Roy. As far as he's concerned, you don't exist. You don't matter. When you do see him, he always rubs your sobriety in your face. After Logan passes and you self-destruct at a club, he feels the need to ask you how much you've had to drink that day. Even at the funeral, he says he can smell an entire bar on your breath. If you weren't so afraid it would kill him, you'd punch him. Your brothers have to hold you back after a comment like that. He wasn't ever sure why Logan even had another kid. You weren't anything special to begin with. He didn't even like your mother. He knew, from the beginning, you'd be a disappointment. To Ewan, you have always been and always will be a disappointment.

[minevn]

Haruto's new ref is finished!!

I kept his hair mostly the same, just made the bang symmetrical. His hair color also leans more towards red then it did before without being completely red, I did this cause I wanted his and Kage's hair to be closer to the same color. I also made the his eyes more green to compliment the reddish tones on him. I gave him freckles. I also made his eyes less doe-like but still doe eyes. And then obviously I changed his clothes. I imagine him wearing more neutral colors to appear more mature but he still likes to add those pops of color. I also didn't want to get rid of the green in his original design so I added it as accent colors and based his date outfit roughly on his original(Mainly the color). I also gave him a heart locket, on one side is a picture of you, and on the other is a picture of Kage and their mom. He has this in every outfit but sometimes he tucks it in. He also likes wearing layered clothing so if you ever get cold he can offer you his jacket/sweater/blazer. His personality got a minor update as well! I wanted him to seem more relaxed and calm with you and rather then getting smug outwardly when he see's others getting jealous that he gets to touch you so carefree(Which sometimes he enjoyed touching you to get a reaction out of the others), he just generally touches you without trying to make others jealous(he still can't help the smugness he feels when he see's them jealous though) I'd say his Yandere-ness got toned down, just a bit, and really only around you. Before, Haruto seemed ballsy with his yandere tendencies and I think he'd be more careful. He's more accepting of Aki and Kage, he still feels betrayed when he finds out they like you, but he still won't do anything and might even help them, just a little. All in all though I feel like he'd think of it as a little competition between you three on who wins and no matter what the outcome is, he still cares about them. I'd say he's a lot more closed off now but the friends he made as a child he's close to them and holds them dear to his heart, it's just a bit harder to make friends as an adult and he prefers to keep things professional, but he doesn't mind most people. He also doesn't mind other people as much, but he still doesn't like seeing others get closer to you, that being said he still despises Kei's guts. I also wanted to add more humor onto him, like he cracks stupid jokes with the mc, but he has a very good balance between personal life and work life.

Anyways, some more general info!

Height: 5'8 or 172.7cm

Birthday: 6/15

Likes: You, his friends and family, technology, cleaning, schedules, having you rely on him, animals(he has a love hate relationship with more messy animals though, on one end he hates the mess, on the other he likes cleaning and finds it relaxing), learning new things, jokes

Dislikes: Insects, messes, arrogant and incompetent people, people getting too close to you, having to do his hair for work, having his neck feel restricted(ex: his work tie and collar buttons, he loosens them every break and after work almost instantly. The necklace is fine though since it's not tight :3), KEI

Family: Mother(deceased), Father(who knows where he is?), Kage(younger brother :))

Signature Color: Orange

Extra: He also has a pair of reading glasses!! He's gotten bad eyesight from staying up late and studying.

[mae-i-scribble]

I’ve been thinking so much about how ASTV goes out of its way to set up Miles and Gwen as both parallel and directly opposing each other throughout the entire film and going just a little feral so now I am subjecting my essay upon the internet.

First off we have the direct comparisons that can be made between Miles and Gwen as people, the way they both use that awful fake low voice to disguise themselves. Both of them have fathers that are in the police force who were at one point staunchly against spider-man and to whom they have to conceal themselves from. Both of them started out as superheroes around the same age. Both are established as people who despite having support groups around them who support them (miles and ganke plus his parents, gwen with her band and her dad (here on a technicality)) to be desperately lonely people because they can never discuss who they are in full with anyone, and who in turn feel a special connection with each other because of all these similarities in their unique situations. Both of them are also painted as anomalies, with Gwen being a Gwen Stacy who exists outside of the ‘girlfriend who tragically dies’ role given to her other universe counterparts (this may change in BTSV based on some creator statements but for now its all we have to go off of). And Miles, the kid who was never meant to become spider-man but who excelled at the role. Both of them are extremely skilled superheroes who keep up with the older veterans despite their age too.

And then we have some of the hard hitting differences. The polar opposite relationship these two have with both their fathers and with family in general. Even as spider-man, Miles has kept a good rapport up with his father and the police, if met with a little more annoyance from the police. Gwen on the other hand, has been hunting down like a criminal for most of her vigilante life, doubly so by her own father who even when confronted with the fact that his daughter is spider-woman, tries to lock her up anyways. Something we know with absolute certainty Miles’ dad would not do. Gwen’s dad is also the only family she has left, and even before that it seems that her support group was very small and limited to Peter and Aunt May. On the other hand Miles has both his parents and a lot of people he can at least call acquaintances (we see this in the first movie as he has always been a bit of a people person, well loved at his old school). We also see a stark difference in how they would have handled being told they couldn’t use the watches to visit. Gwen, clearly afraid of losing the one safe space she has left, keeps in line regardless of her own feelings because she cannot risk it. Miles, on the other hand, had he been put in a position to join spider-society before Gwen, would have gone to see her by any means- he was already trying to see both her and Peter from his own dimension.

There are some other scenes and visuals that also continue this trend, screencaps and explanations of those below the readmore.

First off we have the visual contrast between Miles and Gwen’s respective dimensions. Gwen’s world is a blur of color, the cityscape blends together only to focus on the things Gwen cares about. It’s painted together.

Miles’ world, on the other hand, while having a slight blur that is reminiscent of older comics, stands out much more sharply. And while not as distinctly colorful as Gwen’s world, its a much brighter take on our everyday reality (mostly this one shot is not the best example).

When Miles and Gwen first meet and start talking on the bank building, this shot happens. As Gwen sits with a backdrop of shadows we pan up to see Miles standing, the archway giving him the bright backdrop of sky. Right here, as they talk about what could happen if Miles’ were to reveal his identity, visually they are on two opposite sides of one story to reflect how ideologically separated they are on this topic. There’s a physical divide between them. This is coupled by the way ATSV uses the imagery of people being oriented in different directions to show their separation. It’s used in the promo art for Miles vs spider-society, and twice in relation to Miles and Gwen specifically.

But despite their vastly different experiences, the way that their lives have played out so differently, they still have a connection, shown by the way that Miles gets down to match Gwen’s perspective. He literally meets her at her level, and by doing so they get a view that only the two of them can share. Miles is what brings them back onto the same parallel track by orienting himself to match Gwen. That divide doesn’t exist anymore.

This one is less meaningful I just kinda thought it was cute how they essentially had the same reaction to watching the Spot’s plan play out.

The most meaningful shot in this scene though once more brings back the separation via oriented in opposite directions though. The backdrop behind them is open, connecting them together, and they’re on the same level face to face. However, Miles is upside down. Rather than Gwen being the one in strong disagreement, now Miles is with the fact that Gwen would choose to abandon him without telling him anything. And unlike Miles, Gwen doesn’t have the chance to try and see it from his perspective.

The last point I want to bring up is two paralleled shots in the movie. The first being when Miles catches Gwen with his web when she falls in Mumbattan. Here, the only thing that makes the web snap is when Miles’ starts glitching, literally the only thing the could have made him drop her is the universe itself interfering.

Vs when Gwen returns the favor in Nueva York. Only this time it isn’t about the universe interfering, it’s about how she’s lost Miles’ trust so completely, so utterly, that he would rather break off this connection himself than have Gwen save him.

All these things come together to just break my heart over what’s happened to their friendship- I really want some solid resolution to just how much both Gwen and Peter have hurt Miles in the next movie. But also the levels this movie goes to show just how these two are connected to make their intense bond over such a short period more believable is just superior film making at its best. If anyone has more examples I didn’t point out here please let me know I would love to see them.

[callsign-phoenix]

I wrote this for a lovely anon, I hope you like it!

It is a Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky x pregnant!female!Mitchell!reader imagine.

Thank you @footprintsinthesxnd for proofreading!

Warnings: pregnancy, a fight, this is an AU where Goose is still alive 😊

Your brother was in a rivaling relationship with Tom ‘Iceman’ Kazansky, which was exactly why you decided not to tell him you were dating.

If you were honest, you hadn’t imagined you’d fall in love with Iceman, the cocky and restless fighter pilot, it had just been a hookup at first.

But the longer you found yourself in his bed the more drawn to him you became, and he felt the same way about you.

You started dating and you loved being with Tom, he was gentle and sweet to you in private, always making sure you were having a good time.

In contrast to your brother and Ice, you were a much more gentle and timid character, working as a kindergarten teacher near the base they were stationed at.

The men loved your nurturing side and got a lot of comfort from you, which they seemed to need because it was the opposite to their dangerous job.

Tom especially loved to just lay in your arms, feeling your fingers run through his hair and over his skin, as he closed his eyes in bliss.

The fact that your brother didn’t know about your relationship was hard for you, but it was necessary given that you knew he wouldn’t approve.

You cared for his opinion but that wasn’t why you were scared to tell him, it was more like you knew Maverick was capable of doing anything.

You wouldn’t put it past him to send you away or to manage to get Tom deported somewhere else, so you stayed silent.

It worked well for a few months, until morning sickness and cravings indicated that it would be impossible to keep it secret from your brother much longer.

You were a nervous wreck when you found out, but you had Tom and Carole with you, while her husband tried his best to keep Maverick busy enough so he wouldn’t notice right away.

It was crucial to find the perfect timing to tell him and you hadn’t found it yet, even while you were preparing for the pregnancy with the help of your boyfriend and best friend.

Carole already had a kid and she knew about the dos and don’ts, she was the one to bring you prenatal vitamins and everything else you might need.

You were all of the opinion that everything was going well, but Mav had caught on without you knowing so.

“Congrats, man!” He exclaimed as he sat down on Carole and Goose’s porch with his best friend and RIO, a broad grin on his face while Goose looked rather confused.

It took him a few seconds before he could answer, blinking repeatedly as he tried to think of what Mav might have meant.

“Why?” He replied, staring at his pilot with a look that resembled the intelligence of a cow.

“For the kid! Another baby Bradshaw? I saw Carole with the vitamins she used to take with Bradley,” Mav continued, but Goose only looked at him in denial.

“Nah man, she made me have a vasectomy the moment Bradley was born,” he laughed it off, leaving a lingering feeling of unease in Mav because the only woman Carole was close with was you.

It took Mav another five minutes before he stood up without explanation, mounting his bike and leaving Goose by himself, cursing into the silence his best friend had left.

Carole had just come by with the vitamins and you were having a calm and careful discussion about what you would be expecting and what would be expected of you during the pregnancy when the door to your apartment was thrown open, revealing a panting Maverick.

You gave Carole a questioning glance and she shook her head in similar surprise.

“How long?” Maverick asked you, his impressive brows knit together in confusion and what looked like anger.

Your confusion was still all-encompassing so you just stared at your brother, who took a few steps forward, his eyes never leaving you.

“How long have you been pregnant? And who’s the father?” He growled in anger and you could hear a hint of sadness in his voice, hurt at not having been told at all.

“Please, Mav, what are you doing here?” You tried to change the subject without having to answer, but your brother was far too resilient.

“I need to know how long you’ve been hiding this from me,” he let out, moving a few steps closer and letting his eyes roam your face.

You were about to open your mouth to answer when you heard footsteps outside, and a voice you were all too familiar with spoke up, which had your blood run cold.

“Baby, I…,” Tom began as he opened the door but he stopped talking the second he saw Mav standing there, his eyes widening in surprise and a tiny bit of fear when your brother slowly turned around.

In contrast to the slowness of the movements when he turned around, the second Mav saw Ice he lunged at him, throwing himself the last few inches and letting his fists pummel his friend and rival’s face countless times.

Tom did all he could in trying to defend himself, while Carole and you just stood in shock.

Your entire body felt as if it was put under ice water, watching your brother and boyfriend fight until Tom was on the ground, Mav’s fist repeatedly drawing blood from your boyfriend’s nose.

It took you a few seconds before you rushed to Tom’s aid, trying to pull your brother off of him, but not having the strength.

Mav was too emotional to realize who was urging him to stop so he just shook you off, throwing his arm back at you and striking your cheek with the back of his hand before you fell to the ground with the force he had used to free himself of your hindering touches.

The second you hit the ground everyone in the room held their breath, not a single person moving as all eyes were on you.

You could feel tears stinging in your eyes and your hand went to your belly to see if you were okay, and Tom reacted first out of the three of them.

He threw off Mav as if he weighed nothing and rushed towards you, his bloody fingers cupping your face and angling it so that you were looking up at him.

You were still in shock but Tom tried to calm you, his voice gentle but slightly trembling as he asked you if you were okay.

He had to repeat it a few times before you answered and Mav used the time to look back and forth between the two of you, watching his wingman with a gentleness he didn’t even know he possessed.

Your hands were shaking as you raised them to your boyfriend’s face, touching the spots that were already starting to darken with a harsh violet color.

“I’m okay, I think,” you breathed out the words more than you whispered them, but Tom used the opportunity to repeat what you had said.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, it’ll be fine,” he whispered time and time again as he moved to hug you, cradling you in his arms and rocking you back and forth slightly.

When Tom realized that there was no reason to worry for you he turned towards Mav, looking at him while he was still holding you.

“I’m sorry. We wanted to tell you but it never seemed like the right time. This wasn’t planned, but I love her more than I even love flying, so please don’t do anything stupid. I need her,” he told his wingman, who simply stared at him.

Mav moved towards you to pull you up from your position on the ground, holding onto your arms before he wrapped you in the tightest hug you had ever shared with him.

You could feel wetness on your cheeks as well as in your hair, indicating that your brother was crying, just like you were.

When you were finished hugging Mav pulled away, still holding onto you as he pressed a loving kiss to your forehead.

“I’m so sorry, are you okay?” He asked even though he knew the answer, making sure you were alright because he needed you to be.

tagging: @starkleila @mayhem24-7forever @green-socks @letsfvckingdance @shadeds-library @a-reader-and-a-writer @yespolkadotkitty @whateverbagman @neptunes-curse @sweetheartlizzie07 @top-gun-rooster @iloveprettyboysblog @ateliefloresdaprimavera @imjess-themess @littlebadariell @angstyjellybean @marchingicenotes7 @midget713 @supernaturaldawning @gspenc @adorephina @gigisimsonmars @pansexualwitchwhoneedstherapy @bespinnn @wingmanvenus @malindacath @aerangi @kassieesworld @kwanimations @18crazybutcutealsopsycho @marvelandotherfandomimagines @mavericksicybabe @kendra-rose @desert-fern @mavrellover91 @allivingstone01 @rhettabbotts @withakindheartx @trikigirl271 @cherrycola27 @bonitanightmxres @ratcatcher2world @glowingtree

(please tell me if you want to be added to the taglist, or use this link)

[goldenchunkycat]

Lo'ak as your Alpha

[Who's next for the Alpha!serie ? Lemme know ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

It's mostly fluff, smut under the cut !]

Alpha!Lo'ak would PURPOSELY reject every Alpha and Omega, because that's what his parents would have wanted for him. So he would navigate through life not giving a buck about love relationships. That is, until he met the Beta who just moved in a cabin, not far from where his clan reside. You were...well, a Beta. Transparent. Not strong, not weak, not dominant nor submissive. You were just a Na'vi who decided to live alone in a remote area of the forest. You were an easygoing girl who did not cared about trivial things. Lo'ak befriended you for that.

Actually, he loved the fact that you being a Beta meant that you were nor affected by his pheromones. Let me explain. You do not try to please him, you do not look down on him. And above all, his emotions does not affect you. He's impulsive so when he's angry his pheromones go WILD. It enrages Alphas and scares Omegas. He's basically a walking 'do not approach me' 50% of the time, even when he's not trying.

"I just...feel safe when I'm here." "..." "Shut up, I'm not a softie."

Being with Lo'ak would mean a lot of 'cuddles times' in the security of your shack. Words of appreciation and soft kisses/touches, when you tell each other how happy you are to have them. You two have a more funny side to your relationship too, playful insults and fights in the grass. But he's always making sure to put his hand behind your head when he's tackling you to ground.

Even when he knows status does not mean anything to you, he would still try to bring you jewelry and food, it's in his DNA. He would still defend you against some moron of his clan who thought that bothering you when you're hanging in the forest was a good idea.

"Those skxanwg think they can bother you just because I'm not the next Olo'eyktan ? Ah, let them try, they'll end up in the healer's tent."

NOW. After making Tsaheylu with you, you officially became mated and Na'vi mates for life. So when Lo'ak brought a Beta to his father ? Heh, hell on Pandora. After some times you finally understood that the Sully held no grudges against you, they wee just pissed that Lo'ak never mentioned you. And you would be too. Like, one year in a relationship and the man did not even talked about you to his parents. he was not allowed to sleep with you during a whole week, in every sense of the word.

"Babe, I told you, I'm sorry, I knew they were going to overreact... Forgive me ?"

The dirt is around the corner. Lo'ak as your alpha would mean slow and passionate sex. People think that he would be more into kinky things because he's hot tempered, but have you seen him interact with Tsireya ? He's all about words of affirmation and praises. Well, disguised praises, he's tough ya know ? Missionary with Lo'ak because he would loves to see your face contort with pleasure. He loves the proximity between your bodies, feeling your body heat, he is in the perfect position to lay his head next to yours and listen to your whimpers. Cowgirl when he just wants to relax and forgive about his obligations as an Alpha. Seeing you on top, riding him, skin glistening and chest heaving. He would gently hold your hips and help you hen you to tired to keep on rolling your hips against his. he loves it when you just fall on his chest, begging him to make you cum. And last but not least, face-off position (on the edge of a chair/bed/etc, man is sitting and woman is like a koala, I don't know how to explain TT) when he wants to feel in control. It mostly happens after arguing with his father. he wanna feel on top but still hug you close, so he would gently hold you while making love to you, trynna reach that spot that makes you see stars. When he's in the mood he would gently suck on your tits while stroking the base of your tail, he know that you love it when he does that ♡

"Babe, closer, I wanna feel all of you."

"..." "I don't need an Alpha or an Omega, you're ah- you're perfect for me... Even your cunt. F-Feels like it was made for me, my beautiful Beta."

"Yeah, cum all over your Alpha's dick, I'm gonna give you my pups and we'll live here, happy with our kids. Oh- oh ! You- you're clenching around me, do you like that idea ?"

Masterlist

[legends-of-apex]

Relationship Headcanons | Yuichi Kimura (bullet train) x Reader

rating: M for mentions of alcoholism, insecurities 

word count: 930

a/n: hi, I would die for this man. Most of this is based off his characterisation in the book since they didn’t give us a lot to work with in the film but here it is! The reader isn’t referred to as being any specific gender 

Yuichi would be very hesitant to enter into any kind of romantic relationship after how things ended with his wife, both for the sake of his son and for him. He has a fragile heart and doesn’t want to put himself into a position where it could be broken again

Your relationship would begin as friends and he would fall for you quickly, hating himself for it all the while. He doesn’t really see himself as someone deserving of the love you could give him, no matter how much he wants to be loved by you and love you back in return

Because he’d already be madly in love with you, he just wouldn’t act on it until you do and even then he’d hesitate out of shyness and insecurities

Some people would be turned off just by the fact that he has a son, let alone issues with alcoholism and repressed emotions from childhood and dealing with his father. He doesn’t really see himself as loveable or good enough for you

You assure him that you want to be with him, that you want to give him your love and feel his too. That’s more than enough for him to decide that maybe he does deserve a shot at a relationship with you

Wataru, his son, is his entire world. But he’s happy to make room in that world for you too

He turned to alcohol go numb himself out to his troubles, to not have to deal with his reality. But having you at his side along with his son safe and well, he's found that he likes his lot in life a great deal more and doesn’t feel the need to try and numb himself from it

He’s worried about what Wataru might think of him for being with you. He doesn’t want him to think that he’s replacing his mother, even if he barely even remembers her now having been so young when she left

Wataru instantly adores you and is so happy that his father has someone who makes him happy. He’s never seen him smile as much as when he’s with you

Yuichi helps Wataru make some cupcakes or other treats for you every time he tells him that you’re coming over. The kid just loves making things for you, even if Yuichi is the one who’s actually doing most of the work

Movie nights with him and Wataru usually end with Yuichi sitting on the couch with Wataru curled into one side and you curled into his other. He has an arm around each of you and likes to press a kiss to your forehead when he notices your eyes growing heavy. These are his favourite moments and he wouldn’t trade them for the world

He wishes he was physically able to carry you both to bed. Instead he’ll carry Wataru first and then come back, have you wrap your arms around his neck and carry you to his bed to rest when you’re that sleepy.

He likes kissing your forehead and nuzzling his face into your hair

Yuichi being protective over you and Wataru. Taking after his own father, he firmly believes that it’s his duty to take care of his family. To him, you’re a part of that family now and he’d do anything to keep you and Wataru safe

Watching Yuichi with his son once is enough to make you fully fall in love with him. He’s so good with him, so patient and gentle. He’s everything his own father never was for him, especially after the incident on the roof. Yuichi is committed to being the best father he can possibly be

You like listening to him read Wataru bedtime stories in Japanese. You’d watch from the doorway until Yuichi notices you and beckons you to come sit with him, letting you lean a head on his shoulder and listen. He has an impossibly calming voice

He doesn’t sleep well and never has but he’s been especially restless at night after Wataru was pushed from the roof and what happened on the bullet train. It’s not uncommon for him to wake up in the middle of the night, go and check on Wataru before dragging himself back to bed and laying there with an arm around you. He likes listening to your breath falling softly as you sleep, more often than not it’s calming enough to help him get back to sleep himself

You also being protective over him and Wataru. They’ve both been through a lot

He’s quite shy, especially when it comes to asking for affection. Half the time he’ll just walk up to you and wordlessly pull you into a very gentle hug. Other times he’ll wrap his arms around you from behind and burry his face in your neck

Yuichi puts Wataru to bed around 8pm so any time after that is time you have to spend alone together. He’s especially affectionate during these moments, stealing little kisses in between talking

He likes holding your hand when you're out and about together. Before he has to let it go he'll always bring your knuckles to his lips

Tracing over the scar on his stomach from when Lemon shot him when you're laying together in the mornings. He'd always admire the concentration on your face as you do. Your head on his chest, your thumb gently running over the thick scar

He’s not overly fond of pet names but he does often whisper ‘my love’ to you first thing in the morning when his voice is still heavy with sleep and impossibly deep

Tagging: @simpingforclaudette​ @kojiandrew​

[duaghterofstories]

Shapeshifters Are Rarely Cis

For Day Seven of @tamlinweek 2024: Free Day. Transmasc Tamlin, based on a post I made once but was way too lazy to find.

~~

Tamlin used to be a girl. It was why he used to have a good relationship with Amarin and Maki, she was never a threat to their role as the Heir to the Lord of Spring.

Because of her inability to be the High Lord, her father never cared about her. Of course, after seeing how he treated her brothers, she wasn’t all that upset about it. She was happy being her mother’s favorite.

For political reasons, she was to be married off to the youngest of the Lord of Night, Rhysand. The two were pretty close, spending all of their time together. Rhysand tried to seduce him, despite the two of them already being betrothed. Lots of presents. Books, a violin, a book on poetry and a lot of dirty poetry.

One day, he was sitting in his room, shapeshifting into a male form. He’d been playing around a lot more with his gender, with the encouragement of Amarin and Maki.

“As long as you don’t tell Da and take our roles.” Maki had said, only half joking.

Tamlin turned as the door opened and was surprised to see Rhysand standing there, holding a bouquet of flowers.

“Tamlin?” he asked. “What are you doing?”

Tamlin looked down at himself. “I… I think I might like being a male sometimes.” he said hesitantly.

Rhysand stared at him, a glare on his face. He threw down the flowers and left the room.

Tamlin freaked out and got up. “No, Rhysie, I can be a female the whole time, please, please come back, please.”

Rhysand didn’t turn around, and he used to fly out of the manor.

Very upset, Tamlin made his way to where Amarin and Maki were training.

They were training with the sentries, which Tamlin also did all the time, being a part of the army. The Spring Army was not sexist. Her being a female did not mean she couldn’t do it.

Amarin was taking a small break, stretching and sinking into a pair of splits as he stretched. But when he noticed that Tamlin was crying a bit, he got up and walked over.

“Hey Tam, what’s wrong?” he asked, using his powers to gain the attention of Maki, who also made his way over.

“He, he…” Tamlin gave a choking sob. “Rhysand, he saw me as a male, and I told him, and I hate him. He ran off.” he continued crying.

Amarin and Maki looked at each other, comforting Tamlin.

The next morning, Tamlin woke up, feeling the power of the High Lord rushing through his skin. He got up and ran to his brothers and saw that Rhysand was standing there, holding a sword. “This is payback for what you did to my family.” he growled, and that was when Tamlin realized that being a shapeshifter, caused more powers then not.

[reitziluz]

so, while idly wondering what reigen’s major might have been, i got inspired to sort out my thoughts on it properly.

first, let’s lay down some straightforward facts from the manga, anime, and fan book:

he must be suffering from impostor syndrome or something similar, based on how he talks about his ”true self”

he was a humanities major (mentioned in the spinoff as the reason he can’t help mob with math which is. so real.)

he’s extremely confident in his argument skills, is good at reading people, and is competent and comfortable discussing things like the relationship between individuals and society, the meaning of life, and what makes a self

he is also knowledgeable about laws and deals with things like insurance companies with confidence

in the separation arc press conference, his narration stated that he had expected to have gotten bored with spirits and such ”within a year, too”, so assuming he had ran it for up to a year before meeting mob, he was around 24 back then

"within a year, too” implies he worked at the water cooler telemarketing job for up to a year, so, since he was around 23

on the same page, he refers to that time in his life as when he could easily get the gist of anything, but couldn’t get into anything more deeply than being curious about it (this is very often translated very, very badly.)

he quit his previous job because he had grown sick of it, and rented the office space before he had even come up with what kind of business he wanted to start

when wondering about why he is working as a psychic, one of the points against it is that it’s not profitable

his father is a local government employee, and as someone who’s very serious about things, thinks reigen is unemployed

his mother is a housewife, and as someone who’s very serious about things, thinks someone has tricked him into doing his current job

his sister works at a bank, thinks he’s a total fraud and that he should turn himself in, the earlier the better

it’s also reasonable to assume that:

he started working at the water cooler job immediately after getting his bachelor’s, as bachelor’s degrees are four to six years long in japan, which fits perfectly between being 18 when graduating high school to being 23~24 while he worked there

he probably finished his degree, because dropping out would have been a massive contradiction to how he said everything had come to him pretty easily – he was thinking back to himself when that was stated and was being pretty harsh about his own fickleness, so it’s safe to assume he wasn’t lying about that

with reigen’s lack of focus and tendency to pick up things that seem interesting on a whim, his degree is likely a mishmash of things instead of something that would railroad him into a specific career

his major was on the artsier or more theoretical side, as graduating and ending up in a job that has nothing to do with your degree because you need to work somewhere and it crushing your dreams and soul is a bit of a trope for those majors (he could have been talking from experience when telling the 7th div folks that they need to live in reality and that society doesn’t care about their fanciful ideas)

his family is likely well-off and at least a bit conservative

he would have received financial aid of some kind or taken a loan to be able to quit and up and rent an office on a whim just two years after graduating, even if he had been working while studying

his parents likely wanted him to get a good, serious job, like his sister going into banking

his father specifically might have wanted his son to follow in his footsteps – and he might have had his best interest in mind, because based on what the japanese career counseling website i used as reference said about ”local government employee”, it would have been a perfect fit – lots of change, working with people, solving problems, needing broad knowledge/skills etc (i’ve lost my mind over this before, there’s so many delicious family dynamics to explore in this)

he could have gone to university because he didn’t have any better ideas and tried to just get a degree that would satisfy his parents while also letting him explore ways to ”become someone”, as in have importance and make a difference

taking all that in, and acknowledging that i do not know enough about how japanese degrees work so i’m basing this somewhat in my own experience with academic freedom, i’m leaning towards reigen having been a political science major who kept taking classes outside his major. psychology, philosophy, maybe some folkloristics or other fun things like that? it would fit with his personality, current skills and knowledge base, and with trying to please his parents while doing whatever he wants to. picking political science might have been a compromise – his parents might have wanted him to study something like law instead of arts, and leveraged paying for his to have a say on his pick

that’s a nifty little hypothesis, right? perfectly reasonable. not much reaching, fits in the themes and narrative aims of canon. doesn’t require any wild leaps of logic. a good point to stop.

…

so hey, you know how when starting a business it’s pretty common to take a loan? and his sister, who works in banking, thinks he’s a fraud? and his father thinks he’s unemployed, lying about working but instead living on money other than his own income? and his mother thinks he’s been tricked and exploited? and in the fan book, reigen says he hasn’t been home in years but thinks he probably should drop by to clear a misunderstanding between them?

does the misunderstanding have something to do with, oh i don’t know, his family backing his loan or otherwise being involved with it and him seemingly fucking off to waste the money on weird shit with no sign that he was going to pay it back??

reigen, reigen please, what have you done, i know you self-sabotage and get into fucked up shenanigans to avoid having to be vulnerable and then you DO fix things in the end but reigen, it’s your family, what have you --