#i think i hate him more than most ppl | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

britneyshakespeare · 5 months

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i feel so empty inside

#i have less than fifty pages left #diana rereads david copperfield #don-draper-a-lot-has-happened.png #i dont know if i wanna finish today? ive read like 37 pages today #i easily COULD #i need a break. i need to digest #i did take breaks actually. to write about my feelings in my reading reflections notebook lol #yes i have one of those and i STILL frequently post my thoughts on here. im a girl who needs many outlets #i never achieve catharsis!!!!!!!!#i took two breaks to write reflections within an hour of each other. lol #one after chapter 55. tempest and chapter 56. the new wound and the old #if you know you know #god. steerforth #i think i hate him more than most ppl #i mean he is a charismatic manipulator and i didnt lack that understanding when i read it five years ago #i didnt think much about what he deserved or how 'good' or 'flawed' he was back when i was 19 tho #ive had enough experiences in life tho now to just plain be full of no sympathy for him #saw someone say in a review blogpost i read last night that he was more sinned against than sinning #i was like ARE you kidding. i cant even start w that. he faces no real pain or remorse in his life until his death #and even his death is just incidental.#im glad he died. it's still moving in the scene when it happens OBVIOUSLY. but good #no one should ever have to worry about what james steerforth is up to. and that's kind of the point #david never sees him again after the betrayal until he's a corpse. good #you were spared from ever having to suffer him again.

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sylphwing · 2 months

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hm. i do not like chilshi 🤔

#sylph.txt #everyone likes to joke abt how much of an epic divorce man chilchuck is #but i dont think he ever even refers to her as his ex-wife. i could b wrong bc it's been a while since i read it tho #idk a lot of his arc is him learning to b more open w others (which is essentially what ended his relationship)#and u can see how much he's grown in the chapter where senshi goes into his past #to me it would b a lot sweeter for him to take on these lessons and go back to her and make things work #it's been 4 years but he's remained loyal to her depite their issues. idk to me it rlly does feel like he still loves her he's just a fool #it's made p clear that he's a coward and that he's quick to run away so actually committing to her would b a nice way to wrap things up #we don't get to see much of his wife so i get y ppl r quick to put him w the only other man in the party #but like senshi knows abt his wife too like i do not think he's gnna b making any moves here bc he has morals lmao #(*only other older man in the party. laios doesn't qualify for old man yaoi to most chilshi likers)#(even tho chilchuck isn't old either but shh they don't care abt that)#when it comes to senshi the changeling chapter def helped him w understanding how old the rest of the party is #but he clearly still views them as significantly younger than him #i don't think he views chil as a child anymore but for the majority of their time together he did #and so going from that to in a relationship is uhh rlly weird to me!#senshi has always taken a sort of parental role upon himself #w him romance is no where as interesting as the platonic bonds he has w the rest of the party #similar to how romance is entirely unimportant to izutsumi in the succubus chapter #idk i def don't hate the pairing and there r some takes on it that i find funny #but for me i just don't see anything between them i think ppl just want an m/m ship to play with #that ao3 gap is only gnna get bigger lmao

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hooved · 1 year

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nothing makes me block someone faster than them writing paragraphs about how much they hate odo in the tags on my posts about him

#tbh i feel like most ppl who hate him that much just severely misunderstand him #they just go ''ew he's a cop'' and refuse to accept that he's a nuanced character with trauma and regrets and a conscience #who was abused and manipulated and raised in a violent environment surrounded by ppl who think he's a freak #and was never taught how to handle his emotions in a healthy way. never felt like he was worthy of love #he's deeply flawed and he's done horrible things in the past but it haunts him. he hates himself for it #i truly don't believe he's a bad person. he was just forced into unfortunate circumstances #he's emotional and misguided and makes a lot of mistakes but he really does want to be a good person #he wants to help others and keep them safe even if it means hurting himself #he's a very complicated character but i feel so protective of him because i understand that despite all of this he's very fragile #all he needed was someone who loved and cared for him enough to steer him in the right direction and he didn't have that #he had to try to learn how the world works on his own and that went.....pretty badly to say the least #but it was either that or continue to be tortured and thought of as nothing more than an object #he was essentially like a scared animal just trying to survive #and much like a scared animal. they may bite but it's either in self defense or a sign of bad ownership. it's not entirely their fault #anyway i could go on and on and on forever about this topic #(and don't even get me started on how badly you all misinterpret the shit that happened with him and the founder)#but anyway. i love odo very much. odo haters dni

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thedevotionaltour · 15 days

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karen is MY special white woman. my problematic fave. because i understand why she sucks. i think in order to be allowed to be a karen fan you have to actually understand why she sucks. if you don't understand why she sucks then you're a bad karen fan i think.

#i think one of fhe reasons i dont like many of her fans and what made me feel :| about liking her at first is her many like.#unconditional supporters i think. and i get it. a lot of it comes from how misogynistic ppl are about her. but like. she also sucks mega bad #this is also mostly show fans. not many ppl are talking about her in a comic context. but it's like.#there is a difference from defending her from the very real misogyny against her VS defending her every move #the same way there is a big difference between critiquing her and analyzing her as a character vs straight up misogynist hate #but it's like. oughhhhh not enough of you get her. to be fair despite my jokes i know i cant claim to mega understand her either #but i think i give a lot more thought than some others do about her.#also all her wrongs are honest to god equivalent to many other male characters in this series in terms of ''''Bad Person''''.#but we get more of a focus on it bc she is the love interest.#but like. foggy is also deeply ableist to matt too. and rude as a friend to him for a long time.#and matt sucks so bad himself. and is /deeply/ misogynist for a long time in comics.#they all have their faults and when i think about that im like it really is no sin to like her. bc many other characters in terms of the #things people very validly crit about her. not many others of this cast are better!#and it's fine. bc it's who they are as people in their story. bc this is how real life often is and of course they will not hold the same #beliefs as you the real person who can often know better than them. due to also living in a very different time period from their creations #+ where most of these runs take place.#OKAY IM DONE TLDR I like karen! she sucks! but so does everyone else in this series! so i have let myself learn it is fine #but also. ohhhhh my beef with show karen. very different from my beef with comics karen. i have a lot of very specific beef with show karen #but also. a lot of that comes less from her as a character (MAJORITY OF THE TIME. DEFINITELY TIMES WHERE IT IS OF HER OWN AS A CHARACTER BUT #STILL IMPACTED BY) THE. HM. ATTITUDES OF THAT WRITING ROOM. THE VERY PISS POOR RACIST ATTITUDES OF THAT WRITING ROOM.#so trust me. trust me i doooooo understand the hate. but there is still a hefty majority of misogyny fueled hate about her instead of her #actual character flaws and the beliefs she has and holds and acts on.#but oh a karen lover who hates elektra in show well it makes me wish that blond woman would get laser shot.#but that is besides the point. point is i love comics karen and i think it's interesting to analyze and view her #my romance comic leading lady trapped in a cape comic<\3 #static.soundz

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skrunksthatwunk · 1 month

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found out that rascal's owner took him again while i was out, and he's probably not gonna be back since the semester's almost over. i don't even know if his owner's coming back next semester, if i'll ever see him again. if he'll ever see me again. why do they wait until im not around to do this? why do they never let me say goodbye to him?

#i didnt really get to process it bc i found out when i was hanging w a friend but. im processing it now #sigh.. i dont know. i dont know.#at the end of the day he is and has always been someone else's cat. i can't control what she does with him #no matter what i think of it. she can always take him away. but every time it happens im just. im tired yknow?#it's worth it to me to have him around. i love him dearly and i want him to be in a home where he's actually cared for (which i have done my #best to provide) but he's just. not mine. and every time it happens i back up and think man. im such a sucker.#i don't think people manipulate me often. not in an ongoing way i mean. i don't think ppl see me as valuable enough to most of the time.#but damn. she really found my weak spots didn't she. free petcare courtesy of one chump who can't live without animals around. sigh #he deserves stability but he deserves love more. this weird shared custody thing is better for him i think. and frankly i also love him.#im not the priority here but my feelings are like. there. him being taken away without even telling me first hurts. i'd like to be able to #say goodbye to him. im not saying he has to stay or this has to go on but couldn't they just.. consider my feelings a bit more?#just bc you're fine with dropping your cat off somewhere for weeks not knowing when you'll see him again and not visiting doesn't mean i am #and i kind of feel like my roommate is part of this. after all it's not like his owner can just break into our room and take him #and if im always out when they do it there's a chance roomie's just shipping him off whenever she gets sick of him.#she's done it before. even after she agreed so vehemently with me about never wanting him to go back to such treatment and stuff early on.#she's been spraying him for little reason lately too. and i mean i get being a little more cautious with some things bc her neck's broken #but she's really fixated on how much he smells and bites and stuff and talks about how if i wasn't around she'd consider eating him #and then other times she's like that's my pookie. i don't get it. like yeah i tell rascal to fuck off sometimes bc he hurts me but it's not #like a hateful thing. i dont resent him for it i'm just annoyed sometimes bc he's maiming me a little. he's my baby. how could i loathe him?#so it makes me think that roomie might be blaming his transfers on his owner bc she doesn't want me to judge her #and like. this is her room too. it's not her fault she's more bothered by the smell than me. if she doesn't want to be bitten and clawed all #the time i can sympathize. i don't wanna force her to house him. but i wish she'd just be honest with me i guess #like. what if his owner decides to give him away without telling me? i'd take him in in a heartbeat. even though i know it's a bad idea.#but i'm worried he'll fall out of my reach completely. and at the very least I'd like to be able to say goodbye first. that's all.

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bisaster-energy · 1 year

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i personally think it would've been really funny if angel blades didn't work on human beings

#idk some testament to god's love for humanity #''my children cannot harm my most beautiful creation'' or wtv #metatron tries to stab dean and it's like that scene from knives out #u know when ransom tries to kill marta #also something about cas never wanting to hurt dean and his blade being able to reflect that #my blade is only for dean never against him #cas giving his blade to dean cut me up as you please #which isn't to say angels cant kill ppl i mean we all seen them use their powers on humans #i just think it'd be cool and maybe a little funny #but yeah dean giving cas the first blade = cas handing off his angel blade to dean #i trust you and only you with this. nothing is stopping you from using it against me but i trust that you won't #idk man smth about it #OH. also. proof that even former angels are still decidedly ANGELS. even without powers #i've always hated the whole ''oh i'm human now that my grace is gone'' u cannot just. turn into a human being. ur a different species #cas is still an angel. CAS GETS STABBED BY APRIL AND DEAN IS SCRAMBLING ''WHY IS HE DYING HE'S HUMAN NOW''#cas will never be human ever and that's on god...#he will always be Other. i love that. it also makes former angels MORE vulnerable than regular humans. so crazy #cee speaks

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piplupod · 3 months

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one of the cashiers at the grocery store i go to is so fucking fixated on shoplifters and it drives me crazy any time i check out through him (i try to avoid him but his checkout is often the most open/empty - hm! i wonder why! - and im often on a tight schedule w the bus). he brings up shoplifters every opportunity he gets and he seems so convinced that theyre a huge problem.

BUT WHAT REALLY GETS ME ,,, is that today the customer in front of me was needing a price check on one of the items bc it should've come out to be cheaper, so he was kind of apologetic abt it and saying "ah well, yknow, six dollars is six dollars, especially with how expensive groceries are right now" and i was nodding and agreeing (trying to show that i dont mind the wait and also solidarity my guy good for u for speaking up and getting the price fixed on that) AND THE CASHIER AGREES. FULLY ACKNOWLEDGES AND BEMOANS THE FACT THAT GROCERIES ARE CRAZY RN. AND THEN GOES ON TO COMPLAIN ABOUT SHOPLIFTERS. HUH ??????

so you agree that groceries are unreasonably expensive... and that sometimes ppl can't afford them... and yet ....................

#HE MAKES ME SO FUCKING ANGRY CMONNNN THINK ABOUT IT DUDE....#i knew him in highschool (small town things lol) and im pretty sure he was one of those kids who thought cops were really cool. so. yknow.#not surprised. just annoyed fdjkl #i would say smth like ''oh does ur paycheque get docked if shoplifters come thru or smth?'' but i dont want to piss him off #i would like to remain civil with the cashiers here bc its the only grocery store i can get to most of the time fdsjkl #but like. i would love to find out why he hates shoplifters so much #when i worked at DQ in highschool and ppl stole dilly bars or FULL CAKES... i did not give a single shit #even though the managers and boss would get kind of angry at us (but they knew we couldnt do anything abt it really lmao)#and then we had to put locks on the customer-facing freezers which was a hassle for us #AND STILL. I NEVER FELT ANGRY AT THE SHOPLIFTERS. BECAUSE WHATEVER DUDE LIFE IS EXPENSIVE GO GET THAT ICE CREAM!!!#also i was not paid enough to care LMFAO and i know for a fact that this cashier isn't paid enough either bc my brother used to work there #I DUNNO DUDE. HONESTLY I HAVE MAD RESPECT FOR SHOPLIFTERS #i've potentially done it a few times and its fucking terrifying esp w the amount of cameras installed now fdsjkl #i dont do it now even though i need to more than ever bc i was making myself sick every time i possibly did it #i'd get home and sit in the bathroom for an hour trying to make sure i wasnt about to throw up from the stress fdsjkl #also it was stupid to do honestly (but . needed. so yknow.) bc again. i dont have any other options for accessible grocery stores really #ANYWAYS. fuck that cashier i hope he realizes what a little narc he's being and gains some class consciousness or smth idk #all for one and one for all etc etc etc we're all in this together my guy #pippen needs 2nd breakfast

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redxblueihateloveyou · 2 years

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I wanted to ask after that quote, if xiaoge is also in a chinese bl alcohol-anti squad in the novels?

😂😂😂 "alcohol-anti squad"? What do you mean? As in intolerant like Lan Zhan or Shen Wei or smth?

No lol, and it didn't seem at least to me like he's against drinking either, if you meant it like that. He doesn’t drink during their "adventure" times, cause he is always on high alert, so that time Wu Xie got upset he wouldn't drink with him was bc Wu Xie and Pangzi were both drunk and Xiaoge didn't trust Yuncai or their surroundings, so he was the only one on guard.

And it's true that he doesn't drink during parties too, even if it's with Wu Xie's close friends and family, bc he keeps an eye on him and sees him to bed. I also remember that while Wu Xie was sick he got drunk in the village with the gang, Xiaoge didn’t drink bc he was watching him and brought him water, when he drank too much. During New Years, even with Pangzi, Xiao Hua ad XiuXiu, Wu Xie's parents and Wu Erbai there, he still kept an eye on him, bc crowds are a no-no for him.

All in all you know Xiaoge, he doesn't trust anyone, besides three people and it's a bit sad thing, but if someone else is there or they're not in the safe place, he's unable to relax due to his mind state. So I just think that in most times he feels like can’t afford to get dizzy.

So yeah, during shananigans no, bc dangerous. During large parties also no, bc he watches his drunk husband, thats all true.

That’s why I think this scene is hundred times sweeter. I don’t think he brought non-alcoholic beer lololol. That means he’s home, he feels safe, Wu Xie will sleep next to him in normal bed and he can just relax for the first time in a while.

And that's truly the 8th wonder of the world that he feels that way with them :)

P.S. 😂 I mean, he's also not opposed to nicotine in stressful situations. Like he doesn’t smoke, but he did chew on tobacco, like when Wu Xie was smoking and contemplating "how easy it is to die" after A Ning’s death.

And ofc the only time Xiaoge actually lit up a cigarette and smoked, which shocked Wu Xie to the core was during the night before the goodbye. I bet he wished he could've gotten drunk in that moment too. But hell we all get it, we also wished we read this part with a bottle of vodka lmao T_T

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daz4i · 7 months

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sometimes bsd reddit can be fun but sometimes i will go on it and see posts like "why do people think dazai is depressed? i don't remember it ever being mentioned, is it just a common fanon thing?"

#ppl in the comments answering seriously and gently are stronger and more patient than i ever could be #this subreddit is such a weird mix of normal reddit behavior (hating gay people) and tiktok (having no reading comprehension)#yet somehow it's still the most normal one. if you ignore the mostly childish humor going on #(i feel like i sound very snooty but. i think most of you would agree with me)#btw the quote in the post isn't real ajdkflhh just embodying the vibes of the things i see sometimes.#it almost feels like i read a different story or know different characters from these people #(i do see an occasional good take. and alternate readings that help my own analysis sometimes too which is nice)#(like the different approach to the story gives another angle. even if i don't agree with it i get why ppl see it that way)#(this is mostly true abt nikolai related stuff lol bc ik i have a very fixed view of him i tend to not budge on :P)

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coolspacequips · 1 year

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I know the Survivor franchise loved to champion Ozzy so much bc he's got fans that are thirsty for him, but he's a full blown narcissistic creep like.. I hate his guts and if they weren't giving him a sweetheart edit, a few small tweaks would genuinely give him a villain edit, no joke

#i skipped this season in the first place bc i knew he was gonna be a central player most of the time #and at this point when him or the other return player are gonna be talking for more than 10 seconds i skip forward lol #there's a lot of men that i have to watch this way on this show i can't stomach some of the stuff they say #text posts #they aren't love to hate type ppl bc there are some of those they are full blown hearing how u think is dark bc this is how u use ppl IRL

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britneyshakespeare · 1 year

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it is weird being an aromantic asexual who is incidentally attractive. like. i just came back from a concert with my friends who have known me for years and know that about me. some of the very few real-life friends who know that about me actually and i only told them relatively recently. regardless. the only reason i had bothered to bring it up w them is that they had seen me in SO many situations that telling them “i’m asexual” was if anything just clarification. just confirmation, like, don’t worry. it’s not an inability to attach to others or whatever. if you can’t tell. like they’d seen me be pursued by quite a few people in our time as friends and at some point it seems like a curious thing if i only ever seem to feel negatively about anyone who’s attracted to me, ever, no matter who it is. and they were understanding and i knew they’d be. yeah.

we were talking on the way back about bucket list concerts we’d still like to see. we saw stromae which was a really big one of mine (my fucking boy btw, i had an amazing time). i mentioned that i don’t have very many, as i’m rarely the person to be like “yeah, let’s go to a concert” unless i have people i know i wanna go with. like i’ve been meaning to see the jonas brothers w my sister and sisters-in-law ever since they came back because it’d be a fun thing for us since we always listen to them together.

but i would genuinely love to see super junior someday, like just for myself, wherever whenever if i was just able to get transportation (i don’t drive). i’ve loved suju for years but i got really back into them in 2020 in the pandemic as a sort of nostalgia comfort thing (but also the music they’ve put out in recent years is like, literally the best in their discography, they just keep getting better w age). and i had to go on this tangent to explain it, right?

in the first months of the pandemic, there was something weird happening to people psychologically. some kind of end-of-the-world loneliness. i mentioned that i had like 5 or 6 different people in my DMs at the time interested in me. not all of them men. and the friend who was driving said “you know, diana, if this were literally anyone else talking, i would think that this is some enormous humblebrag—”

and i like. didn’t even think about it that way. i was just trying to make my point that i had a serious thought in 2020 of like, when the world opened back up, just doing one (1) seriously manipulative thing in my life and convince one of those men who was thirsting for me to buy me tickets to super junior and go with me. it was hypothetical. this hasn’t happened and all but certainly will not. i would not feel good taking advantage of someone’s feelings like that.

but i had to go on a tangent even before that because i was like. oh my goodness. i didn’t even realize that was a humblebrag. i’m sorry. i’m just telling a story.

#the politics of being a pretty young woman #tales from diana #i also wouldn't have felt comfortable telling anyone that anecdote about myself if they had known less about me than my friends i was with #so i guess i wouldn't be in danger of humblebragging. but sometimes i think i do? by mistake.#like when i talk about my social life in the past i always mention no one openly liked me in high school. not one person.#it very much affected how i saw myself. bc bullshit. young girls. male approval. y'know.#but in retrospect now i'm better able to tell when a boy had some kind of crush on me so i might mention it like 'he thought i was cute'#and one time a different friend i had. but one who i have also told im asexual (im trying to do that more) said to me #'you know for how unpopular you say you were in high school it seemed like a lot of ppl liked you'#i mean. yes? it's complicated. i was most certainly not popular i can tell you that.#i was more of a 'hey goob nice binder' 'hey goob wanna hang out at my house after school?' [narration: they all hated me...] kinda kid.#i probably kept myself from making friends wo realizing it but also lots of cliques i would've liked to be part of very much ignored me.#i was hot on the margins. a truly underrepresented social archetype... except that's literally every teen movie so maybe not.#i didn't have a big win in the final act that's the difference.#also before the concert we were talking about one of our other friends who is just. so fuckin funny.#like we were all talking about how much we love him. and they said they had been talking about who in the group chat we're in #has the most 'pull' and im like. pull?#like who could pick up the most ppl successfully. hypothetically.#both of them ranked me high :^) i was like. thank you.#they asked me to ponder on the topic myself and try to come back to it but i think im just confused by the concept of 'pull' itself #stromae has pull. that is all.

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bullagit · 2 years

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trying to make stede being mean to izzy about their class difference is so funny to me bc it literally has nothing to do with it. like 90% of anyone in canon that stede interacts with is technically lower class and his pettiness levels consistently have no correlation w that??

izzy buys stede’s hostages (whose capture was a big point in getting enough respect to not be mutinied) out from under him (fair game in piracy imo but stealing them back is also fair game in that case), cuts his shirt up in a whole ‘see how good at sword i am i Will Stab You’ display, is just as petty and rude towards stede from jump all the way through their interactions.

like they literally just don’t like each other. fundamentally. there is nothing about each other that they like or care for. esp once stede and ed start spending time together lolol. they are both bitchy w each other. if stede’s more open bitchiness compared to how he is w other people is related to anything, its the sense of confidence that comes from the fact that he outfoxed izzy at doing a piracy the first time they met

#ofmd #our flag means death #stede bonnet #stede is unaware of the extent of his privilege but like #imagine thinking that somehow goes hand in hand w thinking anyone is Beneath Him idk how when he hates himself more than anyone #stede reads are so weird sometimes lol #im not gonna tag iz or the ship names bc i dont ship em and i respect izzy fans rights to cultivate their own zones im just like #it does baffle me ppl really do love to take the most inaccurate surface level opinions on stede's motives in any scene ever huh

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ronanlynchbf · 10 months

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"all this foreshadowing abt declan dying and then he didn't even die" well personally i think declan got murdered dead by mstief in greywaren so. actually 2 me he did die. Badly.

#like sorry 2 to say it but also not sorry the declan i know would never do to matthew what he did in gw..#like obviously he has done some shit stuff to matthew (and ronan as well. this to mean ronan did shit stuff irt matthew as well not declan #did shit stuff to ronan. though he very much did and vice versa but like not the point here.) BUT i know he would NEVER strip matthew of his #autonomy like that and NEVER for so long. like i didn't write declan lynch as a character but also i know he wouldn't do that. that's his #baby brother........and i know he feels like matthew robbed him of his youth and his life and whoever he would've grown up to be but HE JUST #WOULD NEVER....i know this....like sorry but that is the most awful fucked up shit to do ever in the entire world. someone depends on you #and looks up to you and trusts you and you take away the thing that keeps them awake??? i'd even say the thing that essentially keeps them #ALIVE bc without a sweetmetal dreams aren't really alive they're just sleeping for eternity which is a kind of death. LIKE......#that just baffles me so much u just have to be soooooo uncaring to do that....like if he just did it in the moment of anger - snatched that #pendant off matthew's neck so he fell asleep and declan wouldn't have to deal with him anymore and then immediately afterwards was like.#what have i done this is so fucked up to do to someone. and put the pendant back on matthew. and apologized prefusely for it. that would #have still not been fine but in bouts of anger ppl do stupid desperate things that negatively affect others and it would've been #considerably less fucked up than it is now. like declan kept that pendant away for UP TO TWO DAYS. he drove the whole way back put ronan #somewhere safe carried matthew out of the car and into the house carried him upstairs into the bedroom and put him in bed went back #downstairs went outside locked the car went back into the house ate showered slept woke up ate breakfast again go through the whole day and #NOT ONCE did he think to himself oh this thing i'm doing is genuinely horrible i can't just take away someone's like. awareness. like that #& went to go 'wake' matthew????? NOT ONCE????? ARE YOU BEING SERIOUS???? NOT ONCE IN THOSE ONE AND A HALF OR TWO OR POSSIBLY MORE DAYS???#also just the whole. turning into his father thing. HARD NO. u mean the same declan who hated his father for very right reasons and hated #what he did to the entire lynch family both while he was alive and after he died the same declan that hated all the trading and buying and #selling dream things business and just that underground market in general (that btw. put the family he had left in life-threatening danger.)#the same declan who hated his father for dreaming a more perfect and loving unconditionally copy of his actual mother (rightfully so.) went #on 2 go into the exact business he always hated w/ a fiery passion?? ur also telling me he invited his father's killer to his wedding? fake.#trc #greywaren #<- needs its own tag bc i'm not putting it in the same category as call down the hawk my beloved call down the hawk.#anyway. that entire essay in the tags can be summarized w/: who declan ended up as & his entire arc is SO shit i hate it sm peace n love 🙏#as i've said before. me: mom can we have declan lynch? mom: no we have declan lynch @ home. declan lynch @ home: declan lynch in greywaren.#<<<<< full experience of reading gw. 2 me. ARGHHHH AOUGH THE POTENTIAL IT HAD THE POTENTIAL IT WASTED... IT'S ACTUALLY SO SAD....

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goatlook · 14 days

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actually do you ever EVEN think about the connotations of remus's japery during the boggart lesson. snape in mrs. longbottom's clothes. man with magic hiv teaching kids how to defeat the evil fear creature that lives in the literallllll closet. and he says neville would you please put this man who is trying to out my socially loaded condition with all of its various implications, in DRAG. yes thank you, for the class :)

#when ppl are like ''jkr kind of accidentally wrote remus to be gay''#bro she wrote the word f***** on a brick and threw it through his windshield #hp #remus lupin #txt #it's fascinating to read into this more deeply if you think about how purposeful this was on remus's part like diegetically #like on a surface level remus is encouraging the class to laugh at the idea of a man in a dress #he suggested it knowing the concept is precedent for ridicule. knowing the class would laugh and exactly why they're laughing #you could read into this as remus weaponizing snape's prejudices (which are aimed at remus) against him #which i think is mostly accurate #most unflatteringly you can read it as remus throwing his own community on the sword just to punk on snape #but for me the fact that this lesson is about combating fear specifically is rlly crucial #it makes me inclined to view this choice in a kinder light (DIEGETICALLY. we know what the author thinks of ''''men'''' in dresses :/)#even the decision to uplift the underdog of the class (the subject of most mocking laughter) seems deliberate #so you're encouraged to laugh at snape-in-drag but only insofar as you stop FEARING snape-in-drag #which in the end serves to unite the room (including those on the outskirts like neville and remus)#and to subconsciously link snape-in-drag to a minimized threat. perhaps even as an active IMPROVEMENT of real snape #remus to snape in the teacher's lounge after snape unsubtly threatens to pour out his wolfsbane potion:#''you were briefly more loved as a shallow mockery of the very thing you hate me for. than you have been or ever will be as yourself''#ANYWAY. joke in the post thesis in the tags amiright #i could write more on jkr's possible intentions vs what is written and how that impacts my view of remus's character #but uh that feels silly to do. in the tags of my post about snape in drag

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kavehater · 1 month

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AURGHH I KEEP FLASHBACKING TO THE AWKWARD SITUATION TODAY

#it feels unreal #gonna cry #I wish guys didn’t exist !!! that way I wouldn’t be so awkward around them !!!!#like it’s so mean to expect me to suddenly be okay with interacting with them when I’ve been shut out from them for most of my development #years #its like so unhealthy 🧍‍♀️#anyways I already have a tough time talking when I’m in a mildly stressful situation but …#like my words always get stuck in my throat / I just mumble random nonesense / I don’t know how to articulate my thoughts / stammering #I’m a rlly anxious person and it’s rlly debilitating 🧎‍♀️#who ever thinks stammering is cute can respectfully … idk IM JUST LIKE 😭😭😭 how’s stammering cute I am stressed beyond belief !!!#I hate socialisation #anyways ughhh that was so embarrassing pls like now I think I made him feel bad about himself …#I didn’t mean to I swear I would never 😭 he just misunderstood me is all 😭#Muslim Girls CANT TOUCH ANY GUY INCLUDING HANDSHAKES FISTBUMPS ETC #pls … why are guys trying to fist bump me I am not a bro 😔#I Ran out of the lab basically #my mum when I told her the story she was sympathising w him more than me and said I should get over it !!!!#girl … I cannot stand men … even the normal ones creep me out to some extent #I’ve been shut out from them for centuries everyone wants a token goody two shoes good girl #who doesn’t talk to boys until she’s thrust into said mixed environment and is expected to deal with it how about no …#dora daily #yeah I dislike every male idk they make me feel weird ? it’s hard to explain 😭#it wouldn’t be that deep if everyone didn’t slaughter malala for the handshake UGHHH ID RATHER JUST SHAKE HIS HAND WHY IS THIS AN ISSUE #like on one hand I could’ve said hey I’m not allowed in my religion but doesn’t that just sound like rlly bad ?#the only thing I managed to tell him was after I stared at him like a deer in headlights was “uh …. I … can’t”#and he was like wdym you can’t LIKE LOOKING UPSET 😭#I DONT DO WELL WITH MAKING PPL UPSET IM SOBBING #I hope he didn’t take it personally it’s just 😭😭😭#anyways time to shut up !!!

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orcelito · 1 year

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I think im gonna cave & tag Midvalley in my fanfiction

I still don't know just how longterm he'll be around (it'll depend on how things shake out & whether he ends up liking Vash enough to stick around) but Even Tho he's mostly been long-distance present, he's been important to the story and So It Shall Remain for at least a while.

So. Midvalley 4th most major character I guess?

#speculation nation #itnl shit #i hesitate mainly bc A: i hate it when ppl tag brief appearances of characters in longfic #bc lovers of those characters arent gonna wanna read a giant thing for one lil blip ykno?#so i only tag characters if they have a genuine solid role in my stories. brief appearances dont matter.#also B: i still feel like im kinda butchering his character hfkshfjd and im scared of actual midvalley fans judging #im growing to appreciate him more and more. but the fact remains that i never paid him much mind b4 deciding to add him #i was just like 'this sure is a role he would perfectly fill' and i reread his sections to get a feel for him #i think i did an okay job with his first appearance but im scared of reducing him to just Grumpy Not-Friend to vash #in that him and vash have been talking for years & it's ultimately the most constructive socialization they both get #during that time.#so vash treats him like a friend. bc it's vash and he was lonely and midvalley is fun to annoy.#and midvalley ends up kinda forgetting who vash sometimes. but then he remembers & it's Awful #im trying to do him justice. and i'll be able to stretch my legs more once he's physically showing up again.#i swear im thinking about it and trying to stick to a proper characterization!#worse than a minor character not showing up in a fic is a minor character showing up Wrong.#i dont wanna do that to midvalley lovers. and thus the hesitation.#but. But . i think his role is major enough that it's worth tagging. and so. i think i will.#tagging b4 meryl and milly bc i like having the tags be ordered by relevance & chronological appearance #relevance for the first few Definitely. most important characters up first.#and then latter characters by appearance. just works that way.#is midvalley more important to the story than meryl and milly? Well... kinda yeah.#in terms of having a role no one else can fulfill. which will have major effects on the overall story? Yeah.#so. i should tag him. im gonna tag him. just. Ugh. the Anxieties...

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