#i think i just stopped posting after none of my kinktober fics showed in the tags

[josiebelladonna]

Do I feel vibrant (in general)?

I’m in pain (from exercising more), so no. I still don’t know what it means to “feel vibrant”, either.

Do I feel sexually desirable?

I have never felt this way in my life. I’ve been working out harder lately and I (finally) hit the 30 pound mark and now my next goal is 20 pounds by turkey day, but again: I’m only thinking about my physical health and getting healthy. Listen, I had swollen feet, a pounding heart, I was prone to migraines, and I was probably prediabetic, too, given diabetes runs in the family. I ain’t thinking about sexiness… whatever that is.

Are my sexual needs being met? (by me, by someone else)

I started my kinktober collection last night because no one else can get it right, but it’s really hard to say. I cringe at my desires, needs, whatever they’re fucking called, especially my belly kink. It’s the one kink that I go way back with and I would be lying if I said talking about it makes me feel so exposed and embarrassed. It’s like coming out, it’s not like a kid’s birthday party: it’s a huge deal.

Do I care about my sexual life?

The fact I keep coming back to this shows that I care about it *enough*. But I can’t say that I care about it so much that I’m losing sleep over the fact that no one is sleeping with me.

What is my comfort level with talking about sex and sexuality and communicating my needs?

Zero comfort. I’m so embarrassed and disgusted with myself.

How am I feeling about my body?

Hard to say. Listen, when I was pushing 270, I actually felt great (minus the swollen feet, of course). Losing weight now, and it’s fascinating how fast I’ve been losing weight (30 pounds in 2 months! I never would have dreamed that would happen).

What is my relationship like with my orgasms?

Nonexistent. I can’t remember the last time I masturbated because, again, there’s no point. I tried doing it again and I stopped because I couldn’t get into it. I don’t care. What is the point of developing an appetite when there is no need for it. There’s no point to developing a sexual appetite, plus I don’t care. I’m too much of a pussy and there are other things to worry about, too. They’re here and gone, too, like what the hell is this whole thing that all women should have these violent screamers after five seconds. Am I really not doing it right? Why should I try and make myself scream when it won’t happen. Why even bother.

What is my connection like with others?

Horrible. It’s been two weeks since the Testament cartoon and it’s still only at 3 likes on my page. Meanwhile, I see people celebrating kids’ birthdays, making massive recoveries, reaching huge milestones, what have you. Go to my page and it looks sad. Do you understand why I have no desire to be there anymore?

I have no faith in my art, either. I’ll just post the collections and be done with it, seeing as that’s all everyone wants from me.

When I think of sex, what comes to mind?

Nothing good or happy. What on earth am I supposed to say to this? I think of all the consequences of being sexually active and that’s all I think about, too. Oh, yeah, herpes and HIV and unwanted pregnancy, yeah, that’s really sexy.

Do I feel tapped into God (Source, Universe)?

lol

*bonus question: What fun am I having in my sexual life?

None. Ooh yeah, exposing yourself to horrific diseases like herpes and gonorrhea and warts, and putting your body and trust in another person when they can readily betray you at any given time for the dumbest and pettiest reasons, yeah, that’s totally fun *gunshot*

I’m terrified of what awaits me for kinktober. I just don’t measure up. The green druidess did a number on me as well as the Rockfic side of the fanfic world: in that brief period from when I came back online to the minute she showed up, it was a little more than a year, it was like Santa Cruz, it was this pre-pandemic/pre-Tiktok/pre-worst of what gen z has to offer era that was still fun and enjoyable. You write fic and go on tumblr because it was fun, not because you wanted to be the next E.L. James or Anna Todd. 

And you could say whatever you wanted (barring you weren’t prejudiced against someone for who they were). People only blocked someone when they personally attacked them through asks or reblogs, not because they had an opinion they didn’t like. I looked at her fic account just now and she and temple haven’t updated in months: i remember the last time i pointed this out she updated something probably just to stick it to me, but i expect her to. People with control issues and a sense of entitlement are weak. I’m bracing myself for this, but what is with women these days? The last couple of times I went grocery shopping, the women were… bitchy to say in the least. Walking around with their noses in the air, rude to their children, looking down at me all because of my pink pants and I’m fucking poor… The men meanwhile? Sweet. Polite. Approachable. Friendly even. It’s like my own gender has very quickly become the very thing they’re accusing men of being: rude, mean, liars, arrogant, bullies, abusers, manipulators, all with a side of victim complex because “we’re women, therefore victims and therefore deserving of special treatment”. There are exceptions, of course, but it’s like the mean, entitled girl is the thing to be now.

I see these new fic writers who are blatantly displaying their quote unquote “raunchy sides” and they’re getting fucking everything. “Ooh, look at me, I’m a sexual being and therefore entitled to special treatment” or the flip side: “ooh, look at me, I’m a minor and therefore entitled to special treatment”. Listen, when I was a minor, I had… some curiosity about sexuality but not a lot. But I never saw it as “harassment” or “abuse”, though: it was just this side of life that was incredibly taboo and inaccessible, like I felt bad just thinking about it .  I couldn’t explore if I wanted to. Plus, I was more focused on learning things, building robots, making cartoons, and trying not to kill myself because my classmates and my dad’s side of the family were all assholes.

No fun. No hope. And no, I don’t deserve shit. Again, I’ll just do it and be done with it. I don’t give a shit if anyone else doesn’t.

[sondepoch]

the sheer amount...of writing....that i have posted on ao3 but not on tumblr.....oh my god 😭 😭

i hate posting anything to tumblr bc the tag system is so frustrating (especially when :) you know :) your post won’t show in the main tags despite it :)) but wow it’s like. i have not posted anything here in ages. i have full fics and series out that just never made it over here. starting tomorrow i’m gonna start posting at least one thing a day so i can begin the transfer like i am so sorry to everyone following me but wow posting on tumblr is so much harder 😭 😭

[jjpmoans]

pleasurable temptation | cyj [m]

word counts : 2.9k+

warnings : cosplaying kink, a hint of exhibitionism, pure smut (it’s bad lmao)

summary :  What did he do to be under this kind of situation? What did he ever trigger you with? Why is he helplessly moaning while you take him in your mouth without sparing him any mercy? While he is playing with his friends even? What did Youngjae even do to deserve such a torturous pleasure? 

“Wait, baby, I can’t. Please don’t do this to me.”

a/n : sooo for october, we decided to join together for a writing collab between the members or @got7creators​! It is called All Sins Week since we are posting a week straight at the end of October. Do check other writer’s kinktober fic as well! Also I am fourth in the order and please forgive me for this absolutely no filth fic. I have no idea what I wrote and I am open for critics bcs I know it’s bad wkkwkwkkwkw and sorrryy if you feel like it’s bland. But i hope you enjoy reading and please give a lot of love to other writers of this collaboration!

[ All Sins Week Masterlist ]

“If you’re Tatsumi,” you ask, breaking Youngjae’s attention from the anime he’s watching. You’re sitting next to him, as usual as he binges watching his anime. “Who would you choose? Akame or Esdeath?”

Youngjae’s eyebrow raises, looking at you questioningly. It’s not new, you’re always asking random questions about the anime he’s watching out of nowhere but this time it’s different. You’re asking him to choose between the protagonist and the antagonist if he’s Tatsumi, the main character. “Choose as in what? As in my comrade?”

“As in your lover?” you scoop your ice cream into your mouth, waiting patiently for his answer as he’s having a breakdown over whom to choose. Youngjae always has a hard time choosing between the protagonist and the side characters, saying that of course people always like the main protagonist but the side characters are also precious.

Which is why now you only want him to choose between the two sexy female characters but you can see smoke coming out of his head.

“Do I really need to choose?” he looks at you with a painfully desperate face, wanting a way out of the question. “I like both though!”

“Nope.” you tut, placing down your bowl on the side table. “You need to choose one. Like if Akame and Esdeath offer to have a one night stand with you, who will you choose?”

You can see Youngjae shifts uncomfortably, avoiding your gaze by keeping his eyes on the tv screen. It’s not long before you spot the growing tent under his pants that makes him shift a couple more times and whines, “Baby, you’re making it sound weird.”

“Well,” it’s not that weird but it does feel weird when your boyfriend is turned on by a 2D character. “Choose one, big boy.”

“Why would any of them wants to have sex with me?”

“I don’t know.” you laugh. You know it sounds kind of weird but who cares? “Maybe they think you’re hot.”

“Nonsense.” He inhales a deep breath, biting his lower lips in an attempt of rethinking his decision, before turning to you like he has made a decision. “Alright, background aside okay?”

You raise your shoulders, agreeing with whatever his condition is. You don’t really care about their backgrounds, you just want to see which one of the female characters that got your man hard. 

“I personally think Esdeath is sexier.” he confesses, grimacing when he sees your serious listening face. However you keep him going, no attempt to cut him off. “Her outfit is always on point, but she looks very sexy in this one episode. So-” Youngjae scrambles to shake himself out of the narration, ending his answer with a simple statement. “I’d choose Esdeath.”

Tonight is the second night of the weekend and as you both had agreed to, it’s Youngjae’s gaming slash anime night. Usually he would be watching anime up until midnight and then continue by playing games with his friends. However tonight he chose to start playing the game earlier than usual, claiming that none of the animes have uploaded a new episode.

This is where you come in.

You stare into the mirror, looking directly to the satin robe that hugs your curves nicely. It’s light but it’s thick and it’s new. You received it yesterday, just in time for you to wear it on the weekend. 

“I must be insane.” you ruffle your hair, watching it slowly turning into a mess, a beautiful mess. You almost can’t believe that it’s you in the mirror, you look insanely a hot mess. It’s crazy how simple the outfit is but absolutely sexy and alluring.

It’s nothing much. You just want to see his reaction, rile him up and see if you can have him a moaning mess under you.

“Mark, Mark.” Youngjae taps on the shift button repeatedly, moving his cursor to hide his character from the opponents. “They’re just behind the truck.”

“Jaebeom hyung, can you sit down for once?” Yugyeom whines into the microphone, annoyed by the fact that Jaebeom is going to expose their location.

Jaebeom on the other hand is hiding behind a tree, reloading his bullets into the weapon. “Shut up, Yugyeom. I’ve been playing this game longer than you’re born.”

“Shut the crap. You are still learning how to write when I was born.”

“That doesn’t mean anything.”

“It does.”

“Okay I see someone moving.” Youngjae interrupts their bickering, moving out of his hideout to a safe place. He wants a chicken dinner tonight and he’s not going to let anyone ruin the fun for him. “I can see his head….”

A shot is fired and Youngjae screams in triumph, successfully eliminating the annoying opponent that has been trying to kill his teammates. As usual, Youngjae being the expert one among them and Mark comes second while Yugyeom and Jaebeom casually got killed and left both of them alone to carry the team. Youngjae had to be satisfied with the squad because at least, they know how to play. If he asked Bambam or Jinyoung to play with him, nevermind. Oh Jackson? Not even a chance. That man doesn’t know how to stop once he starts working.

“Have anyone heard from Jackson hyung?” Youngjae asks, moving his character to steal the weapons and other things from the dead bodies. “It’s been a month since I heard about him.”

“Yeah.” Jaebeom answers distractedly, still trying to load his weapon. “Last time I heard, he’s still in China.”

The door creaks open and if Youngjae doesn’t have one of his ears free from the headphone, he might not have heard the sound. It’s very discreet, very soft as if someone is sneaking into the room. Not that Youngjae knows anyone that is able to sneak into his gaming room without his permission.

Ah yes. Except this one.

“What are you-- what?” Youngjae’s jaw hangs open by the time he tears his vision from the screen to you, standing in your glory right a meter away from him. 

“Why? What happened? Is y/n there?” jaebeom.

“Not really a problem though. Can I say hi to y/n?” yugyeom.

“I can see someone coming, guys.” Mark.

Youngjae doesn’t know if he wants to laugh or to cry. You’re standing about a few feet away from him, in an attire that is foreign to his eyes but absolutely gorgeous, sexy, deathly- did he say deathly? -- and fuck you look so fucking sexy. Your satin gown is modest yet slutty, exposing your chest and only covers half of your breast, the only thing that probably holds the placket of your robe is the three little buttons on your navel which threatens to burst.

Shit.

Something comes to his mind and right when he recognises your outfit, a certain name slips through his lips. “Esdeath.”

“Es- what?” Jaebeom asks, still distracted by the incoming attack from the enemies. 

“Esdeath?” Yugyeom on the other hand, successfully shot the new incomer and went into hiding while still focusing on the topic. “Esdeath as in the Esdeath in Akame Ga Kill?”

“Esdeath visited you?” Jaebeom mutters incredulously through the microphone. Youngjae can see that he’s squinting at the screen, probably trying to see the ‘Esdeath’ he mentioned. “You’re talking nonsense.”

“What- what are you doing?” this time Youngjae totally feels like crying. He forgot that he’s video conferencing to play PUBG and the possibility of his friends watching this through their screen frightened him. Muting the microphone, he looks at you again with mixed expression. “Baby, what are you doing?”

His voice sounds desperate and you haven’t even started anything yet. Yet. 

You let Youngjae’s eyes wander from your collarbone, down to the valley of your breast and to the buttons on your navel and further until his eyes fly to meet yours again, lust clouding his mind. You can see his pupils dilate, eye blown and breathless. 

It’s fun to see him affected. It makes you feel powerful. It makes you feel extremely satisfied.

Perhaps this is what Youngjae has always been feeling whenever he dominates you during sex.

“Baby?” he calls out again, desperate to know what you had in mind. 

Your eyes zeroed on the growing tent under his pants, it’s evident that Youngjae is already half-hard.

“I just want to ruin your mind tonight.” the immediate satisfaction fuels your desire to make Youngjae bend for you after watching his reaction. Youngjae is, what you can make out right now, utterly speechless. 

“I- I don’t understand- wait-,” as Youngjae stutters with his words, you’re already kneeling on the floor, pulling his gaming chair facing the pc again, slotting yourself between the table and Youngjae’s inviting man spread. 

“There is nothing for you to understand.” you utter while the tip of your fingers play with the string of his sweatpants. Youngjae’s eyes follow your hand down, his breath hitches as you press your palm on his hardening cock, giving him a firm grip. His moan almost comes out as a whimper, grimacing at the slightest contact as he tries not to show it on his face. 

“Youngjae?” Mark calls, snapping Youngjae out of his trance. He scrambles to switch the microphone on, just in time you pull down his pants, exposing his cock to your eager eyes.

The coolness of your palm wraps around his cock and the way you grip him makes Youngjae hisses in pain and pleasure, enough to elicit a curse out of him. “Fuck.”

Yugyeom quickly detects the change in Youngjae’s mood, asking him if he is fine and able to continue the game. And in all honesty, Youngjae wanted to leave the game the moment you walk in with the outfit, the fucking sexy outfit. He can’t describe how turned on he was, seeing you almost naked with that Esdeath cosplay.

“One moment, Gyeom-ah.” Youngjae is about to reply when you tug on his shirt, wanting to say something to him. “What is it, sweetheart?”

For the third time of the night, Youngjae wants to cry out loud. You are sitting under his table in that robe, your breast threatening to burst out of the tight material and fuck- Youngjae is so fucking hard. 

“Let’s make a deal. If you can finish the game quietly while I suck you,” your aura is absolutely different tonight, Youngjae realises that. You’re more dominating and goodness gracious, Youngjae have no problem with that. You’re so hot and Youngjae would give anything for you to suck him. “I’ll let you rip this robe off me and fuck me senseless.” 

Youngjae’s eyes widen at your suggestion. You’re making a deal with him? For what?

“And what if I can’t?”

“Well, if you can’t,” you drag your nail along his shaft, sending shivers up his spine. “Then you’ll let me ride you. Let me fuck myself on your cock.” you challenge him, holding his cock towards your lips, sucking his head lightly. Saltiness of his pre-cum invades your taste bud and you’re now addicted, wanting more of his cock. 

Youngjae inhales a deep breath, shifting in his place before unmuting his microphone, resuming his attention to the game.

Oh, bring it on.

“Youngjae, why are you so slow?” Jaebeom asks, running towards the unidentified dead bodies. He starts collecting the weapon and life stock while Youngjae’s game character stops in the middle of the track as if it’s malfunctioning. Technically, the owner of that character is, indeed, malfunctioning.

Youngjae’s breath labored as you continued to bob up and down his length, fisting his cock from the base and stroking his scrotum. It’s hard not to moan. Youngjae has been enduring your teasing quite good so far, only occasional hiccups and soft whines escapes from him and went unnoticed by other members. 

Youngjae has long given up to switch his microphone from mute to unmute then to mute again, he now resorts to detaching his headphone away from his head after muting the microphone so he won’t have to hear anything.

“Baby.” he whines, hips thrusting upwards as you kitten licks his head and slots your tongue on his slit, collecting his pre-cums. Youngjae’s cock is dangerously red, as if if you try to lick him one more time, you’ll see blood. His veins pop up and paint his length angrily. “Please baby. I don’t want to play the game anymore.”

“Hm?” you ask, not quite hearing his pleas. You take him in your mouth again, going down on him until he’s deep in your throat, humming to your satisfaction. His cock isn’t exactly big but he definitely makes up for the girth with his length and his stroke. “You’re saying?”

“I just-” a loud moan escapes him after you deep throat him once again, hitting your gag reflex. Youngjae trashes in his seat, holding the back of your head gently but firmly. It’s too much pleasure for him you guess. “Fuck. fuck. Fuck. please baby. Don’t do this to me.”

You release him with a pop and watch his cock curves backward, smearing the mixture of his precums and your saliva against his shirt. You don’t care about the video conferencing at the moment, you just push him further from the table so you can stand up and straddle him on his chair. They can watch if they want to.

You tug on the string of your underwear, revealing your nicely trimmed pussy to his eyes. At the sight of your drenched core, Youngjae mutters curses under his breath, reaching a finger to your fold.

“Fuck.” he caress your fold with his middle finger, occasionally dipping it inside only to let a gush of wetness out of your pussy. “Fuck, you’re drenched.”

“Mmhm.” you agree. You’re wet from all the thoughts while you suck his cock, thinking of how good it would feel when you ride him. “Can I ride you now?”

“Fuck.” Youngjae’s hand grips your hip as he guides you, slowly sheathing his cock inside you at your speed. “Ride my cock, use my cock. Do whatever you want.”

“Oh-” you let out a long moan to the stretch of your pussy is extremely good, the feeling of being filled with Youngjae’s cock takes you to another level of ecstasy. Even though you have been fucked a lot, however, riding Youngjae’s cock is always, undefeated pleasure. 

“Are you being filled well, princess?” Youngjae asks as he’s balls deep inside you. 

“So, so full, Youngjae.”

“Goodness.” Youngjae’s hands roam all over your ass, then up to your navel, pinching your nipples through the satin robe. “You dressed up like Esdeath to have sex with me?”

“I just wanted to try a new thing.” You shift in your place and Youngjae’s tip nudges a certain spot in you, causing you to throw your head back, gripping on his shoulder tightly. Your eyes shut close as you start to ride his cock, feeling the bliss of his veins against your walls. 

Youngjae on the other hand is dazed with your breast, bouncing right in front of him. He reaches down and a quick flick of his thumb, your robe is open and you’re absolutely naked to him, at least. Your robe stays on your body but the upper part of the robe has slid down and exposed your shoulder, probably a good view for the boys.

“Look at these breasts.” he tuts, sticking his tongue to graze one of your nipples. It’s not a secret that Youngjae loves your breast and he probably has a fetish for your twin peaks. He always gives extra attention and he can go on for hours, licking and sucking your nipples.

“Want me to feed you?” you ask, hips moving up and down his length but you can always multitask, cupping your breasts and bringing them together, putting the nipples close. “Suck them, please?”

“Fuck. Yes fuck. Fuck.” he holds you by your waist, sucking your peaks alternately. Whenever the tip of his tongue grazes one of your nipples, your walls tighten around his cock, causing him to hiss in return. “You’re really enjoying this, huh?”

You nod, impaling yourself on his cock. You’re getting tired and you don’t really feel your legs so your movement starts to falter, slowing down after a few while. “Jae…”

“Tired?” he chuckles, tapping your ass as you nod to his question. As much as you enjoy riding him, you have to admit that your stamina would never surpass Youngjae’s. 

Youngjae lifts you in his arms and just like that, his dominant side appears again. Bringing you to the bed, Youngjae manages to press his cock deeper inside you, making you moan all the way. 

“Look at you.” he tuts when you’re spread on the bed, half naked in your Esdeath cosplay. “So beautiful.”

“So fucking sexy.”

“The death of me.” Youngjae’s hand trails up your leg, past your navel and cups your breast, pinching and rolling your taut bud. You actually shiver at the change of his emotion, retracting to become the submissive partner like you always did.

“Youngjae.”

“Hm?”

“Fuck me.” you plead, whispering as if someone will hear you. Ironic, you thought. Youngjae’s friends have probably disconnected the video conferencing because of your lewd moans and now you dare to whisper? “Please,”

“Oh yeah, of course my Esdeath. I’d fuck you hard and raw.” he promises, lining his cock at your entrance. “Be my guest.”

Copyright © 2020 jjpmoans. All rights reserved

[ Masterlist ] |  [ All Sins Week Masterlist ]

[darkpoisonouslove]

I’m torn because GIMME GIMME GIMME every single thing possible for Warmth of Rage, Cold of Love - but I’d also like to hear about other fics that maybe haven’t gotten as much attention. So... Okay, I’ll try to be reasonable and only give you three fics, lol. Heartless, Let Me Down Slowly, and No Battlefield Between Us, pretty please :D

Okay, so I don’t have many headcanons about my own fics that don’t make it into the actual fic, but I’ll try to give you something more juicy than just plain facts.

“Heartless”:

1. It is the first fic from a four-part series (that is currently put on hiatus because “Kiss, Then Bite” and now Kinktober (you know how it is)). This one was sort of an accident but then I connected it with fic ideas I already had and suddenly there was a series XD. It was written surprisingly quickly, especially looking at the quality of it (I still consider this one of my best works; every word is where it is supposed to be if I do say so myself), on a late night when I definitely should’ve been in bed… Oops! But then again, when is that not the case, really? XD

2. Next part is the library thing (you know the one), then we have Griffin and Faragonda feat. a nightmare (which is written but I haven’t edited it because I haven’t written part 2 yet (I only realized this would be part 3 after I wrote it)), and then we also get some Winx in the last part (some events from season 1 will come up as well because they bother me and I want to address them).

3. This entire series deals with Griffin getting over the guilt that her love for Valtor is causing her and that is bringing out the ugliest side of her, and how Faragonda and Winx react to that side (as well as some other characters that make cameos). It shows Griffin dealing with her complicated emotions and the collision between her past and her present and I love the storyline I have here.

4. The second biggest focus in this series (I’m gonna talk about all of it tbh (but no spoilers)) is Faragonda and Griffin’s friendship which is so important to me (I love it just as much as I love Griffin and Valtor’s relationship) and I am really excited about what we get to explore here. A key thing about their friendship is how understanding Faragonda is and here we see just what happens when she can’t understand Griffin and all that guilt she still has and, surprisingly, Griffin manages to understand her even despite all that guilt (this may sound vague and confusing rn, but will hopefully be cleared up when you read the fics). (I got thoughts on this now and I think I finally found the missing pieces!) And of course, Griffin and Faragonda don’t stop supporting each other, no matter what.

5. I do find the thematic connection between Griffin and Winx worth exploring (at the time when this fic is set which would be after 3x14 and through 3x15 and 3x16). Tecna is currently lost in Omega (and Bloom has gone to Pyros and may never return) and Griffin’s students are currently in Valtor’s hands. They are all experiencing strong feelings of loss courtesy of Valtor, but they are also at opposite sides in the conflict. Winx represent to Griffin her own students which she couldn’t protect from Valtor (and let’s not forget the added guilt because she still loves him). But in that quality of theirs, they can also help her see that she’s not responsible for Valtor’s actions. And Griffin can also help them since she understands their anger on a level Faragonda… can’t really let herself to (because she needs to keep her cool and think about her students and their safety; meanwhile, Griffin is past that point). I think that part will have an abundance of emotions and I am so excited about it.

This was less about “Heartless” and more about the storyline throughout the entire series, but I do hope that you’ll find it interesting (also, I can come to this and get reexcited about writing it if I lose my motivation :D).

Also, we need a cut:

“Let Me Down Slowly”:

1. That was inspired by the thought of “What if Valtor actually caught Griffin leaving but his reaction was the total opposite of what she expected? And that just made it that much more fun for them?” (because I am cruel af XD)

2. The title is taken from “Let Me Down Slowly” by Alec Benjamin which I listened to while I wrote it. The lyrics do not fit the piece precisely but I think the vibe matches so well with the one of the fic. (Also, I was in a desperate need for a title and it was late, and I just wanted to post it! 😅)

3. The creative process for this one was very fun as it was full of questions such as: Am I being too repetitive here? Am I sure this isn’t annoying? Does the ending tie in with the rest? So it was a lot of fun.

4. This was my fifth fic and I’d only written about them in the past once before that and I wasn’t really sure what I was doing with it. I was also going for flipping expectations for both the readers and Griffin as to what Valtor’s reaction to catching her leaving would be and that was also a thing I needed to consider. On the one hand, I needed to have Valtor be in love with her enough to let her go and save her life, but on the other, I still needed to keep him in character and respect canon when it came to what comes after those events. And I also had to keep Griffin just on the cusp of deciding to throw it all away and stay with him. It was challenging to write but also fun.

5. I wanted something softer after “Warmth of Rage, Cold of Love” and “Flame of Love” but I still hadn’t jumped on the Griffin x Valtor fluff train completely (Will I ever, though? I just love their potential for angst too much!) so that was sort of a compromise that had a bit of both with angst being more prevalent.

This was more of a mood/mindset and writing process study and I’m sorry if that’s not what you were after. (This is an older one and I don’t really know what to tell you about it).

“No Battlefield Between Us”:

1. This one was inspired by a prompt. It was supposed to be a part of “Kiss, Then Bite” but then it got out of control and it became its own story. That tends to happen to me a lot! XD

2. Griffin is at a very dark place in that fic. She’s staying at Alfea of all places, and the only reason for that is that she doesn’t know where to go. At that point, she still hasn’t reconnected with Ediltrude and Zarathustra, she’s just left Valtor and broken both their hearts, she’s in danger of being killed by the Coven, and the only friend she currently has is Faragonda (who has good intentions but dragging her to that fairy party sure wasn’t her best idea. Can you imagine Griffin at a fairy party? The best thing she can do is get into trouble which she isn’t really in the mood for rn, considering all the trouble she’s in already). And then Valtor suddenly appears but not to kill her. He wants her back and the temptation almost wins over, but she resists it. It’s a big show of character on Griffin’s part (or a rather unfortunate choice, depends on the perspective) and it was so interesting to write.

3. And something that did not make it into the fic but Griffin realized later when she was replaying the interaction in her head for the millionth time (because I’m evil and like to torture us all) is that “he came here to kill me” was a legitimate sentence that ran through her head. Just the fact that she had that thought, and that he didn’t deny it completely (”I’ll have plenty of chances to do that on the battlefield if you choose to fight against me.” (quoted that just from memory and it is correct, how even?!)) is enough to make her ask “Does he really love me if he is totally fine with the thought of killing me?”. And that’s what she uses to make herself believe that she chose the right thing.

4. Valtor’s mindset is really interesting here. Because he loves her, he does, it’s why he went there to offer her to come back to him. He wants her by his side. But he also knows that he has to kill her if she decides to betray him. He can’t let anyone betray him. Not even her. What is interesting about this fic is that he’s not possessive to the point where he won’t let her out of their relationship (which is rather selfless on his part and proves his love for her) but he also won’t let her betray him. And the fact that he goes as far as to spare her life after she left him, but not far enough to say he’ll never harm her is a very interesting line to walk with him. It plays again into how Griffin and power are connected in his mind and which one he values more. So again we reach the conclusion that he loves her, she is the only one he’s ever loved, but he still loves power more than her. Only, this is from a slightly different angle.

5. I wanted to really mess around with the love to anger ratio in this one and I think I succeeded. While it is clear that they love each other and there are moments of genuine emotion and tenderness between them, it is impossible to forget about all the tripwires that Griffin has to avoid. There’s this underlying sense of danger and tragedy throughout the piece that I really love and it was exactly what I was going for. So, one last thing here - Did I successfully break your heart?

Sorry if I’m gushing too much about my own fics. I just love them too much and this is the perfect opportunity to talk about them!

“Warmth of Rage, Cold of Love”:

1. Griffin will have a conversation with Faragonda that is really critical for her. It’s so much angst that even I wanted to hit her by the end of it. She’s just being so… difficult. Thank goodness, Faragonda is having none of it and knows how to deal with her (and would never give up on her). There’s also a moment with Saladin (that I had figured out and then forgot (Oooooops! I should really write these things down.)). I do have something that I need them to discuss and I am really excited to explore this relationship because it was so painfully ignored on the show! And they are supposed to be friends, you know. So time to make them friends! XD We already saw a little Saladin and Faragonda friendship (and there will be some more of that as well) and we also need to see some Griffin and Saladin, too.

2. Griffin will have a moment with Ediltrude and Zarathustra as well. There are some formal affairs that they need to take care of, but the biggest part of what they need to work out is emotional (and also the one I got stuck on). Ediltrude and Zarathustra learned some things about her that she did purposefully hide and now it’s time to figure out where that leaves them because all actions have consequences. (I promise this all works out, don’t worry.)

3. Griffin will need to talk with Bloom as well for plot reasons, but not only. There is something that happened on the show that just annoys me all the more every time I think about it and I need to address. (I’m like that. I see unexplored things and I need to write a fic.) Also, moral dilemmas because why not? (Any guesses as to what that convo will be about? I feel like I gave too many hints here, but that might be because I know what I’m talking about.)

4. Valtor will make another appearance in the last chapter and there Griffin and he will both need to really face their feelings as well as the other’s feelings for them. Hate? Love? How do they interact between the two of them as well as within each of them? How will that affect them? I have a general sense of direction, but two outcomes that I have to decide between (or rather one outcome that needs to get cleared up).

5. I don’t know if you noticed but chapter two was hella mad. I was in a… weird emotional place at the time so I might have poured a lot of anger in it which works from Valtor’s perspective, really. Anyway, I’m saying this because thanks to my emotional state, I was going to take the story into a completely different direction from the one it’s going in currently. It was going to be dark and full of hatred. Now it is quite the opposite, actually, and I am so much happier with how it’s turning out. (Also, this is the first thing I wrote for Winx and the first thing I wrote this year. I started it with Winx and I intend to finish it that way. Oops, did I give things away again? Me and my big mouth! :D)

Okay, that’s enough spoilers for you and self-promoting from me! I hope these are at least somewhat what you wanted to learn, and if you want to know something else, just ask! :) It might get me a while to get to answering some questions, but I’d love to.