#i think i need to reevaluate my life

[letsjam-art]

silly idea time

idk how this idea even started but the outfit i had in mind was way back from a doodle in 2021 or 2022, basically my 'what if' for temperance ending only instead of being wildly ooc and wearing a collared button up johnny becomes a cowboy. and because i was listening to vagrant song from wtwtlw (that whole ost really, and hardspace shipbreaker) i had the bright idea that johnny would finally become what his class in the ttrpg was an homage to and wander around collecting stories n telling them n kind of being a dead man walking/ghost story/witness/helper-bard r smthn but having been extremely tempered by the experience of v choosing to die for him, being shocked enough into actually thinking about his beleifs n what have you, humbled enough now to want to listen to others hed choose this path of wandering the continent of na, maybe for the first time in a long time actually taking in life around him yadda yadda. in my little scenario i also had it that even if/when the next corpo war broke out or the nusa annexed more free states, he wouldnt get involved like he used to, cause i think its interesting to muse on how a profound experience would greatly change someone so stuck in their ways like johnny. i think hed still be motivated by guilt and avoidance at first, but it would evolve into something more like a calling/altruism as he takes more seriously and uses more intentionally the time he was given as a dead man walking

also i realize how much of this 'outfit' is just putting v in a hat and calling them johnny like its some perry the platypus thing (also idk how to draw hats)

[tennisarchives]

why am i already going thru tennis withdrawal it’s literally been one day

[ellcrys]

man when they leave anita and mahoja and the rest of the crew behind...

every single time i'm bawling

[umbreonwolfy]

MY FIRST EXAM OF THE SUMMER IS DONE!

[eddis-not-eeddis]

Okay, but how hard is it to just.

Not.

Write a love-triangle.

It cannot possibly be that hard.

[cheekblush]

i wish i could just turn off my thoughts like a light switch

[causticsunshine]

.

[prismaticutie]

"Lumi aren't you so swamped in work/hw" I knowwww "so what are you going to do abt it" rewatch ace attorney ofc 😐

[bigcats-birds-and-books]

i wish i knew what a Reasonable Expectation was

[dubiousculturalartifact]

do you ever think about how darcy's perspective of the visit to rosings is just... a completely wild time. so like. he and his favourite cousin goes to visit with his weird aunt, and ends up running into this hot girl, that he's really kinda increasingly into? she's staying in the area for a while with her bestie. so like. he was expecting a boring social obligation visit & getting pressure into marrying his other, less favourite cousin. instead, he watches the hot girl hold her own with his aunt in conversation. she banters with him over the pianoforte and they have a Moment™. he keeps going over to the house she's staying at, just to awkwardly chill there, even though he doesn't like the other people there. has a whole conversation with her about how she wouldn't mind living far away from family, as long as she could afford the travel. he extends his visit so he can keep seeing her. when he runs into her on a walk, she makes a point of detailing the exact route she prefers to take while out walking, clearly encouraging him to join her, so he does. he has a really nice time on these walks, they spend a lot of time in companionable silence, but he manages to flirt a little by implying some stuff about the future & what their married life could be like, and they have some conversations about that. and sure, she has some family baggage, but none of them are around so it's a lot easier to ignore, y'know? so eventually he just can't take it anymore, and he shoots his shot. she clearly values honesty so he explains his scruples as well, but he thinks she's been dropping some favourable signals, so he's got a good chance, right?

and then not only she turns him down she ROASTS THE FUCK OUT OF HIM. she insults him. she insults his honour as a gentleman. she flips the fuck out about... oh yeah crap the sister thing, turns out his cousin blabbed, and then I'M SORRY YOU SAID WHAT? ABOUT WICKHAM? THIS IS ABOUT FUCKING WICKHAM, MY FUCKING NEMESIS? HE FUCKING SAID WHAT ABOUT.... OH MY GOD. oh fuck. I've fucked up so badly I need to reevaluate my entire life & risk sending a letter to an unmarried woman who hates my guts, just so i can explain shit. fuck.

[seventh-district]

CW: mention of death and health issues (but it’s in a relatively positive light, for once!)

[heavenangelly]

Knowing everything about the law but not being able to apply it/manifest

The lotus: The lotus flower symbolizes rising from a dark place into beauty and rebirth, as this is precisely how a lotus flower grows. The lotus symbolizes the human Spiritual potential of transformation to the True (Divine) Self. -Google

I’m sure some of the people in this community, myself included, have learnt everything there is to possibly know about the law. You may even have notes and screenshots. But regardless of this, you just cannot apply. You want to change but you stay the same.

Why is this?

1. You lack belief in yourself. You love reading the posts, getting the short burst of motivation, getting ready to apply and change self, and then deflate when you see the 3d. So you consume and consume to get that feeling again, only to fall into the same cycle. You don’t think you can do it and you place the 3d on the pedestal, thinking that it is more real than imagination. You put your desires above you, hopeless that you’ll ever get them.

2. You don’t feel the burning desire to change; to be different. Some people may be lukewarm about their desires. They want it but they don’t want it enough to do something about it. Personally, when I want something really bad, I’d do anything in my power to have it. I’m burning with passion to get it, and in this case it would be to accept it and stay in that state. You have to want to be different. You have to feel like you’re burning with need to get what you want. You have to really want it. And this will act like a final push. You’d be dedicated and passionate about it. And if you’re not like that, if you are lukewarm, reevaluate why you want that thing. Fall back in love with it and actually having it instead of seeing it above you and unattainable.

3. Do you actually want it? You may feel a little resistance or dread towards your “desire” because it’s not something you actually want. It may be something that society has made you think you want. Go deep within and ask yourself if that’s actually something you want. Spend some time with yourself and see if it resonates with you, If you burn with passion for it. It doesn’t matter if society says you need it, this is YOUR reality and you decide if you need it or not.

How do I get out of this cycle?

1. Create a formula for how you’re going to manifest your desires. Take a few screenshots of your absolute favourite posts (5 posts maximum) that will remind you of how the law works and possibly motivate you. Put those in a note along with your formula

2. Now that you have created that, GET OFF OF TUMBLR. Do NOT consume anymore content. You know this shit. If you really need to, reread your screenshots and formula.

3. Constantly go back to your screenshots and formula if you doubt. If you have any questions, try to answer them yourself. You do know the law after all.

4. Try to have an end goal in mind. Like a routine you do everyday regarding manifestation or a time frame that will help you stay disciplined and motivated (but DO NOT focus too much on these things, focus more on fulfilment.) Do methods or anything you want, as long as you feel FULFILMENT it doesn’t matter what you do.

5. Have FUN. Do not make the law a chore for you. It’s so fun if you do the things you love and actually want to manifest and are dedicated to getting what you want, regardless of everything.

Reminder: Failure doesn’t exist. You can only “fail” if you stop persisting.

I really hope this post helped some of you, and I hope you take this to heart. You don’t have to live a life of cycles anymore if you don’t want to. Remember, you always choose what state you’re in. You’re always choosing to be something, to continue being something, to manifest something. Become unstoppable and undefeatable. You deserve this. I believe in you, now believe in yourself.

Now become like the lotus flower.

[ddejavvu]

can I request one with Spencer Reid based on the season 4 club scene??? He's there with Morgan and stares at the reader and Morgan shows him how to approach her but the reader doesn't fall for Morgan's approach, then Reid gives it a try and she turns into a giggly blushing mess at how cute he is and his weird facts!! Idk something fluffy??

reader is slightly mean to morgan in this one and i'm so sorry to have dissed the love of my life </333

--

"Don't bother," Morgan catches Spencer's shoulder when the man looks like he's about to give you their 'have you seen this man?' spiel. "I tried to tell her about the unsub, but she's not very impressed by men cornering her in the club. We don't have to worry about her, she won't fall for his bullshit."

"She should know, though." Spencer frowns, watching as you stare lazily at your drink, watching condensation drip down the glass, "I'll tell her."

"Reid, I'm telling you, she's not a potential victim," Morgan squeezes his shoulder, "Listen, if I couldn't get her to talk to me, there's no way the creep we're looking for could win her over. And he's not gonna waste his time on someone who says no to him."

The expression on your face changes from a dark scowl when a man stands a few inches too close to you while ordering a drink, to a soft, disinterested pout when he leaves again and you're able to relax. You don't look resistant, you look hesitant. You don't look like you're refusing to talk to anyone, you look like you're waiting for the right person to talk to you, and Derek Morgan was wrong.

"I'll just be a minute," Spencer slips out from beneath Derek's heavy hand and ignores the agent's groan as he approaches you. He knows Morgan's eyes are heavy on his back while he steps up to your barstool, but he pushes away the pressure of an audience to smile kindly at you.

"Hello," He offers, his voice barely audible over the music. His fingers latch tight around the strap of his messenger bag and the flyer he's holding wrinkles in his firm grip, "I'm Doctor Spencer Reid, with the FBI's Behavioral Analysis Unit, I'm here to warn you about a potential threat."

Maybe it's not the strongest way to start off a conversation with a pretty girl at a bar, but it's the information you need to know. Stuttered flirting and watered-down drinks can come later, if they happen at all; Spencer's priority is your safety.

Your brows raise and you look past Spencer's shoulder hesitantly, "Is it him? He tried trapping me earlier."

Spencer's chest relaxes slightly where it had been tensed, and he lets out a mild laugh, "Well, he's not the main threat I'm worried about. Did he- did he do the thing where he called you sugar?"

"Mm-mm," You shake your head, taking a sip of the sad remains of your drink and speaking after you swallow, "Sweet cheeks."

Even Spencer winces. Where Morgan's strategy is charm first, then the ugly stuff, Spencer thinks it's only fair to let you know why he's there before letting himself get distracted.

"He thinks that's some sort of magic spell," He laments, "Uh- I'm sorry if he made you uncomfortable. Technically, he was just trying to warn you about the same guy I'm warning you about, but we have a very different way of going about business."

"I can tell," You nod, eyes widening slightly for emphasis. Then you glance at the stool beside your own, "Sit down, Doctor. Tell me about this creep. Well- the one on the flyer."

Morgan watches with something ugly rearing in his chest as Spencer takes the seat you've offered him, but he wrestles it down to replace it with pride. Perhaps he'll have to reevaluate his strategy when it comes to disinterested patrons, but as he watches Spencer magically find his business card behind your ear, he's not sure he'll ever have what the young doctor does.

[james-spooky]

i need to reevaluate my life i Think

[guxciestone]

🦷 ❛ SR SATURN THROUGH THE HOUSES ༉‧₊˚ ˚୨୧

(solar return chart)

☁️✧

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❝ where is the structure within your year? ❞ ✧ ೃ༄

hii !! i hope life is treating you amazing. if you have astrology or tarot blog suggestions, i’m free to considering them in my asks or notes. thank you for the love and support <3

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saturn in the 1st house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your outlook, appearance, personality, or how others treat/view you this year. You will notice that you are much more mature, logical, and serious this time around. Perhaps you are more focused on your aspirations or building towards certain goals. You are more than likely going to approach this year with rigidness and firm intentions of better yourself in any area of your life. Find the area you are most focused on improving and building by finding which house your capricorn and aquarius is in. Others might view you as more disciplined, mature, and focused this year; however, others might think you are too serious or a bit of a debbie downer this time around as you are more prone to negative or restrictive thinking this year. This placement is notable for indicating weight loss and isolating yourself from others. This is the perfect time to reevaluate about your life since Saturn is known for coming back around to make you think about the structures you have created so far.

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saturn in the 2nd house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your finances, material possessions, skills, and values this time around. It is possible that your money might run a bit shorter than usual this year, perhaps you lost a job or income isn’t coming the fastest. On the other hand, you probably secured a great job and now your finances are more stable than ever. However, it is important to manage your money skills well or this structure can easily break apart within the 12-month mark. This also indicates a singular source of income as well. Hence, if you have one source of income that seems to be handling you well, stay with that; if not, then try to break out into new different sources. It is possible that this year you’ll try to learn or discover a new technical skill that can land you really good financial or career opportunities in the future. If not, try it now. This is also a significant time to think about your priorities and values. Are these values going to be good for you in the long run, and are they going to serve you well if you abide by it?

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saturn in the 3rd house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your mind, learning processes, communications, and peers. You are taking on your mental projects and activities more seriously this time around. Perhaps you are more focused on your studies or goals than usual. This placement is perfect for when you want to take on complex and longer plans within the year because you have excess energy to pertain to. However, it is important to take a closer look at what you are spending your time on as well as how you are viewing the particular situations as you are more prone to negative thinking and extreme realism. It may be harder for you around this time to dream and visualize your desires the way you want. You are taking on more responsibilities as well, so make sure you are properly dealing with your mental stress too.

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saturn in the 4th house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your sense of security, home, family, and personal life. During this time, you are more committed and responsible to your home environment. Perhaps the home is old and needs to be tended to and renovated, or you are striving to financially secure yourself to take care of your home or family. In other cases, there could be an emotional responsibility for loved ones or family members. It is possible that you have to take care of an elderly member like a grandparent and they may need physical or emotional assistance. On the other hand, you may be a new parent and could be dedicating your time to handling your newborn. The entire notion is that you are savoring your time tending to your family and home environment.

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saturn in the 5th house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your self-expression and creative aspirations. This time around you are uncomfortable and wary in how you present and express yourself around others. You feel like a fish out of water and you do not feel natural in your individuality. You may find that your social environment or skills have changed in some way. You’re more worried about whether you should relax and have fun. This is also the opportunity to take your hobbies and creative expressions much more seriously this year as this calls for you to possibly reap success from your passions. This indicates you should be more organized and structural with your craft. In other cases, you could feel you have a certain responsibility with your child if you are a parent.

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saturn in the 6th house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your health, routine, pets, and daily habits. It is possible that you are taking your day-to-life schedules and habits more seriously. Perhaps you start a strict diet, start a serious morning routine, or dedicate a significant amount of time within your day to work. This easily grounds you and gives you some type of form in your life. However, it is important to be careful that you do not get caught in a loop of autopilot because it can easily lead you to depression, feelings of hopelessness, and negative thinking. This placement also could show ultimate perfectionism so it is vital to make sure that not everything has to go as planned as you want it to be. You are probably more mature about your health as well, perhaps better eating habits. This can also point to a responsibility to a pet, perhaps a pet that is usually hard to take care of, like a big or exotic animal.

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saturn in the 7th house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your interpersonal relationships, others, and outer environment. This is the time when you are more serious and observative about your relationships and what importance they take in your life. You are probably more picky about who you let close to you, and keep the people who you do not feel secure with distant. If you are engaged, this is a perfect placement for commitment, loyalty, and security within the marriage. If you are not or single, you might lack commitment and could feel far from your relationships with others in a way. You may notice that some of your relationships are distant due to some outer or emotional circumstance–for example: long-distance, financial problems, work, parents, etc. This placement calls for you to pay close attention to your interpersonal relationships and realize the extra commitment and care you’ll have to put into them this year.

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saturn in the 8th house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your finances, shared resources, and intimacy. You may find that your financial situation could be limiting and scarce at some point. Perhaps you have debt that needs to be paid off (mortgages, bills, car loans, etc) and you need to decrease how much money you spend within the year. IYou might find that you will not receive that much money from others this time around. If you are married or share finances with someone, there could be restrictions getting in the way of receiving from the other person. Perhaps they’ve lost a job or aren’t receiving much income as they used to, or maybe they aren’t willing to share with you. Additionally, intimacy may not be as fulfilling this time around due to outer or emotional circumstances.

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saturn in the 9th house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your beliefs, the way you take and see the adversities of life. This placement shows that one might enroll in an established learning environment such as college, a course, etc. There is an innate need to learn this time around. You might feel as though you need to wait until the perfect time to start learning what you want because you want your undivided attention and dedication for the subject; hence, there could be a delay in enrolling into college, school, or any classes. This also shows that you are more serious about your personal philosophy and beliefs around the time; therefore, you are probably more willing to learn more about views on life to establish a rigid mindset on what you have faith in.

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saturn in the 10th house

This is an indication that you will find structure, discipline, and restriction in your career, professional skills, image, and legacy. This placement points to a delay, or starting over in your professional life. Perhaps you quit a job, starting a new job you have no experience in, juggling two different responsibilities or jobs at once, or starting a business from scratch. In other cases, you may be putting a delay to your career life due to other obligations or rethinking your entire professional path. This also shows retirement or moving on from your working portfolio altogether if you are older. This time around you are seen as more serious, responsible, or hard working to the public. More than likely if one of the things are happening to you above, you have tons of work to do. However, if you are sure of your goals and aspirations, this placement can be rather beneficial and cause no problems.

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saturn in the 11th house

This shows that you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your aspirations, friendships, and community. This is the time where you are reassessing your personal hopes, dreams, and goals. You have to decide whether or not these aspirations are serving you and your future. This placement also points to the realizations that one does not have any hopes or goals. It calls for them to figure it out, so this is more than likely not the time for you to go on vacation or spend lots of time loitering. It is the perfect era for you to reconsider your values as well as who you feel deserve to be apart of your community–develop serious friendships and communal connections.

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saturn in the 12th house

This year is the year in which you’ll find structure, discipline, and restrictions in your unconscious, private side, and unknown parts of yourself. This is the time to face your fears and weaker parts of yourself. You are more likely going to feel shame, insecurity, fear, guilt, and anxiety during this year. It is usual for one to feel responsible for all of the things that could possibly go wrong around the time, but in reality, it is due to them not coming into contact with and accepting the parts of themselves they avoid. Perhaps they feel guilty about feeling a certain way about a responsibility they have, their personality, their self-expression, and much more. The universe will bringing you personal blockages until you realize what it is you are avoiding and try to actively fix it.

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[outermaybanks]

not really a kook - based on this request (jj meets a 'kook' who makes him reevaluate his rule) a/n: im sorry this took so long life got a bit hectic, but i loved this request and i hope you like what i wrote!!! i dont think i need cw for anything but if i missed something please let me know

“y/n, table eight needs fries,” Kie said quickly as she moved passed you. “Heard,” you quickly reply. Today was your first official day working for the Wreck, but Kie had been training you for weeks leading up to it. You were apprehensive, when she first asked you to get a summer job at the Wreck, not because you couldn’t handle a little hard work, but because you knew it was mostly inhabited by tourons and kooks, and while you technically fell into the category of the latter, you hated most kooks.

Except Kie. She was like, the only person on this island who got you. You didn’t like entitled people, you had grown up poor for a good chunk of your childhood, but your grandpa bought a lot of stocks decades ago, and never could figure out when was the better time to sell, so he never did, and when he died 6 years ago, your mother inherited everything. But just because now you lived in a big house, you could still remember how it felt when kids teased you for having to thrift your clothes. 

Your parents, on the other hand, let the money change them practically overnight, along with your younger sister and your older brother. In fact, you were currently ‘cut off’ because your parents didn’t like how you spent the money. You liked to buy clothes, and makeup, and go out to eat, of course, but you also had a habit of donating money behind your parents back, or walk around the cut and give handfuls of cash to people that looked like they needed it; there was no shortage of that over on the cut. 

You had made exactly two friends when you moved to Kildare island; Kie and Sarah Cameron, and when Sarah Cameron decided popularity was more important to her, it was just you and Kie, which you didn’t mind. She had other friends, but you had a lot of hobbies that took up your time, so you never really minded that you hadn’t met them. So when your best friend asked you to help her out by working at her family restaurant, you couldn’t say no. Besides, it would feel good to earn your own money. 

Mr. Carrera handed you the fries for table eight, and you quickly carried them over with a smile on your face. Kie said that part was important. 

“Hey, I just got a text from some of my friends, they’re gonna swing by. You wanna hang with us?” Kie asked after the lunch boom ended and there was a lull in the restaurant. “Uh, which friends?” Kie gave you a teasing look, “How many friends do I have besides you?” “Maybe you made more, now that you go to the other school, how could I possibly keep up?” you tease back, taking a drink from you water bottle. Kie rolled her eyes playfully. “The pogues, John B, Pope, JJ-” “Yeah, yeah, I remember… um… do they know you’re inviting me?”

Before Kie could open her mouth to reply, “Whaddup!” a loud voice called through the restaurant, making Kie turn. You looked past her to see three guys walk in. “What are you guys doing here already? You just texted me.” Kie said, putting her hand on her hip. “Uhhh,” the tall brunette one said, pulling out his phone, “well, we said we were coming 30 minutes ago, and this place is only 20 minutes away.” Kie checked her phone then groaned at being proven wrong. “Well, I’m still scheduled for another 30 minutes, so…” “That’s cool, we’ll just hang,” the blonde one said. 

Kie sighed, throwing her towel over her shoulder. “Well, guys, this is my friend y/n, y/n, this is Pope, JJ, and John B,” Kie introduced, pointing to each guy respectively. “Guys, this is, y/n.” “Cool, nice to meet you,” Pope was the first to acknowledge you, sticking his hand out formally. You smiled as you shook it. “You guys too, I’ve heard lots about you.” “You’re the one who moved here, right?” John B asked. “Uh, yeah, about 6 years ago.” “Haven’t seen you around before,” JJ said, almost accusatory. “Uh… sorry?” you tried. “Guys! Stop giving her the third degree. I swear, this is why I never bring new people around you guys,” Kie scolded. 

You gave an awkward smile and a small wave before quickly going behind the counter to wipe it down. JJ couldn’t help but watch you, his mind swirling around with thoughts. Why hadn’t Kie brought you around before? Was she hiding them from you? Was she hiding you from them? Why hadn’t he seen you in school or around the cut? Were you from her Kook days? Why was Kie still friends with someone from her Kook days? Why would a Kook willingly work for minimum wage at the Wreck? He laid his arms down on the counter, leaning forward as he blocked the next part of the counter, which meant when you reached where he was, you had no choice but to look up at him.

“So… y/n. Haven’t seen you here before… when did you start?” JJ asked, making you furrow your brows, but then you chuckled. Kie had warned you her boys were a bit much, and you found it cute that JJ was living up to it so fast. “I started today. Kie was nice enough to offer me a summer job,” you explained, carefully picking his wrist up to move it, he quickly crossed his arms, letting you continue cleaning. His eyes stayed on you even as you moved past him. John B smacked his arm, making JJ turn to see his friends giving him knowing looks. JJ wet his lips before turning back to look at you. Fuck it, he thought. Kie hated Kooks, she wouldn’t willingly be good friends with one. “Hey, did Kie invite you to kick it? Because you totally should,” JJ rambled, making you smile to yourself. “Uh, she did actually, right before you guys walked in.” “And now they know, so you can come,” Kie spoke up, with a cocky smile. 

“Okay, I’m down. What’s the plan?”

When you and Kie got off work, John B drove you all back to his place, the Chateau, with the promise of grilling, and taking the boat out on the water. John B was more than happy to teach you how to grill, and JJ took the opportunity to interrogate Kie.

“So, what’s the deal with y/n?” JJ asked bluntly, taking Kie by surprise. She raised an eyebrow and crossed her arms. “Why do you wanna know?” “Well… just seems a little odd that we’ve never met your only other friend. How did you meet her anyway?” Kie rolled her eyes. She knew JJ hated Kooks, but she also knew that like herself, y/n was not really a Kook, and she didn’t want JJ to judge her before he got to know her. “Soccer. I did it for like one summer, and it just so happened to be the year she moved here.” “Well, why didn’t you ever bring her around?” “Because I knew you guys were gonna get weird and scare her off,” Kie teased, pushing JJ back by his forehead as she walked past him, but JJ wasn’t giving up that easily.

“Okay, okay… she got a boyfriend?” JJ asked, making Kie stop in her tracks. “Seriously?” Kie asked in an annoyed tone as she turned to face him. “What? I’m just trying to get to know your friend, Kie,” JJ lied, making Kie roll her eyes. “She doesn’t have a boyfriend. Anything else you want to know, you gotta ask her,” Kie said, throwing her arms up in surrender. 

Truthfully, she was playing dumb. She knew exactly what she was doing. She always thought you and JJ would be good for each other, and if she could just get JJ to not see you as a Kook, maybe that’s exactly what would happen. 

“I’m gonna grab a beer, you want one, y/n?” JJ offered, taking you by surprise. “Uh, sure, thank you, JJ,” you answered with a smile.

JJ walked over, opening your beer before handing it to you, you gave him another smile as you took it, raising it slightly to say thank you. JJ took the opportunity to do cheers, so you both took a drink, eyes locked on each other the whole time.

Oh, he was good, you thought. He didn’t have to say a word, and you were already drawn to him. 

After eating, you five loaded onto John B fishing boat, you and Kie sitting on the front of it as John B drove. The sun was just starting to go down as you got into the middle of the water, the view was absolutely perfect. “I think this is the prettiest thing I've ever seen,” you said softly, mostly to yourself.

JJ couldn’t agree more as he watched you sitting the golden glow of the sunset. He decided to be bold, and reached out to move a piece of hair behind your ear. When you turned to him with a teasing smile, his heart skipped a beat. “That’s like the cheesiest move in the book,” you taunt. “Alrigh’ alrigh’, that’s fair,” JJ laughs. “So did I completely blow it?” Your smile grew, so you turned your head away. “I didn’t say that.”

The rest of the night was filled with laughing, smoking, and stolen touches wherever possible. When Kie announced she was taking you home, you wanted to strangle her, but you didn’t want to seem too eager, so you agreed.

“You and JJ seemed friendly,” Kie said with a knowing smile as she drove her mom’s jeep towards her house for a sleepover.

“Ugh, was I total dork? I feel like I was a total dork,” you whine, letting your head fall back against the headrest. “No, no, he totally likes you… but there’s something I have to tell you.” “What?” In an instant you nervous, as if JJ was gonna pop out of the back seat. “Listen… a couple years back, JJ went on a date with a Kook, Jules, only… it wasn’t a date, it was a trap. She just wanted to humiliate him. JJ… hates Kooks. Like, more than anyone else I know. If he finds out your parents are rich, he…” Kie trailed off, but you could figure out what she was getting at. “Your parents are rich and you guys are like best friends,” you pointed out. “I was grandfathered in, I met the Pogues in 6th grade, pre-Jules embarrassment.” “Great. I finally meet a guy that isn’t a total asshole and I can’t go for him because my shitty parents are rich. Awesome.” Once again you let your head hit the headrest.

“No one said that,” Kie said suddenly. Slowly, you opened your eyes and turned your head to look at her. “What?” “If we just… don’t tell him…” “Kie. He would hate me if he found out I kept it from him on purpose.” “So… let me take the heat. You didn’t know until I just told you, play dumb.” “I don’t know, Kie-” “Do you like him?” You scoff, “I-I don’t know, I just met him today.” “I didn’t ask if you wanted to marry him, do you like him?” “...Yeah,” you answered shyly. “Then just trust me. Don’t bring it up if you can avoid it, okay?” You were still unsure. “Okay?” Kie asked again. “Yeah, yeah… fine.”

JJ was waiting at the Wreck when you showed up for your shift the next day.

“JJ? What’re you doing here? It’s Kie’s day off,” you say as you put your hair up, a small smile playing at your lips to see him again so soon. “I know, but she said you were working… I was wondering if I could pick you up when you get off, take you out?” he asked, bracing himself for the possibility of rejection, but you just smiled. “I’d love that JJ…”

As far as you were concerned, that was the best decision you ever made. Being with JJ was like nothing you had ever felt before, he always did anything to make you smile, make you laugh. He was a breath of fresh air from what you were used to, Kooks who think their existence is a gift to the world, taking everything too seriously; but not JJ. JJ just wanted to make you smile.

As time passed, and your relationship with JJ going strong, you found yourself forgetting what Kie had told you about JJ hating Kooks, because it didn’t matter. You hated them too, and avoided them as much as you could, spending more nights at Kie’s and the Chateau than at home. 

But it was wrong to keep it from JJ, and nothing could change that. And karma has a funny way of working. 

You and JJ had been dating for about 3 months, summer coming and going in a flash, but Mr. Carrera decided to keep you on staff, and you had liked working there and feeling independent from your parent’s money, so there you were; working an afternoon shift, when everything started to fall apart.

Word must had traveled to Figure Eight that you were working here, because when you showed up for your shift, Rafe Cameron the one and only, was already sitting with a group of his friends, being loud and obnoxious which only amped up when he saw you. 

“Well look who it is! Bitch who thinks she’s better than everyone finally got cut off,” Rafe said boisterously. “Fuck off, Cameron,” you said plainly, not letting his words bother you as you put your hair out of your face, jumping into action. You had spent your whole life dealing with Rafe’s obnoxious personality, you could survive it.

 But then, JJ walked in, and in slow motion you could practically see everything slipping from your fingers. “Hey babe. Thought I’d keep you company,” JJ says with that handsome smile. You force yourself to give him one back, trying to pretend you weren’t internally panicking. “Hey baby,” you said quickly before pecking a kiss to his cheek. “Oh, well now I understand everything,” Rafe said loudly, loud enough to be heard across the restaurant. “Y/n’s dickwhipped by a pogue.”

You can’t think, a million things to say or do pop into your head and you can’t prioritize them in time to act. “Babe? Is Rafe talking to you? How do you know Rafe?” JJ asked softly, which just broke your heart more as you were too shocked to reply, at least, before Rafe beat you to it. “Oh Y/N? We go way back. She used to have sleepovers with Sarah when her and Kie were on the soccer team together, isn’t that right?”

You try to look at JJ, but his face is scrunched up in confusion. “Sarah? You mean… from Kie’s kook days? But then-” The look on his face broke your heart, and you couldn’t pretend you didn’t know why; you couldn’t bring yourself to lie to him twice. “JJ, just let me explain, okay?” you try, but JJ doesn’t let you, as soon as the sentence is out of your mouth, confirming his fears, he’s running for the door, leaving you standing there with a broken heart. 

Two weeks passed and you were unable to get JJ to talk to you, and every attempt just made you feel worse and worse, so eventually, you took the message. Kie tried to be there for you, but you were reluctant to accept help from her since she was also JJ’s friend, so you spent most of the time locked in your room, being even colder to your family than usual. 

Meanwhile, at the Chateau, you weren’t the only one feeling the effect of the breakup. JJ had been cold, impulsive, starting fights with anyone who tried to talk to him, and soon everyone felt the effects ripple through. 

“JJ…” John B decided to be brave. “What?” JJ snapped back in reply. “...Man, we’re worried about you,” John B said, already JJ was rolling his eyes. “We can see you miss her. Bro, who cares if her parents have money? She’s still the same y/n.” “She lied to me.” “She didn’t lie to you!” Kie confesses, then sighs, “After the first night you guys met, I could tell you both liked each other. You haven’t really liked a girl since the Jules thing and I just wanted you to give it a chance!”

“You told her to lie to me?” “I told her not to bring it up. But I mean- did you ever ask her if she was a Kook?” JJ got a bit flustered at the question. “I-It doesn’t matter. She kept it from me on purpose.” “Only because I told her too! That first night, when you guys were vibing, that was real. She didn’t even know yet. And honestly- it’s a bit hypocritical for you to not see me as a Kook, but to see her as one. She hates Kooks too.” Kie said, bringing her drink up to her mouth, silently saying that she had said her piece. 

JJ sighed as he stared down at the drink in his hands. For once, something one of his friends said was starting to get through to him.

“Man… what do I do? I feel like I’m going crazy without her.” JJ said, desperation leaking from his voice. “Go talk to her,” John B suggested. “How? It’s clear I don’t know anything about her” JJ said, already getting defensive again. Kie uncapped a sharpie and grabbed his hand, writing on the skin. “This is her address. Now you have no excuses.”

On his bike, he got there in about 20 minutes.

Your parents had long abandoned trying to understand you, but they tried to show their love however they could, which to you meant respecting your privacy when you were upset, so you were surprised when you heard a knock at your bedroom door.

You sniffled and used your sleeve to wipe away any residual tears, getting up slowly to open the door, seeing your mom standing there with a worried expression on her face, despite her attempts to hide it. 

“Hey, sweetie, you doing okay?” she asked softly. “I don’t want any dinner.” “Well, actually, there’s someone for you at the front door, a boy. Said his name was JJ?” you didn’t need to hear anything else before you moved for the staircare, almost tripping over your feet. 

JJ was looking around awkwardly when you saw him standing in the foyer. “Hey…” you said softly, hoping he didn’t notice the way your voice cracked. “Hey… So this is your place? It’s… nice.” “JJ please believe me, I don’t- I didn’t want to keep it from you, Kie told me to, and I shouldn’t have listened- I don’t- I’m not like-” you struggled to find the words. “You’re not a real Kook.” JJ finished for you, taking you by surprise, and for the first time since the breakup, you had hope. 

You stepped slightly closer, unsure of what to say, but determined to not let the conversation die here. “Kie said you didn’t know about… Jules or whatever, the first night we hung out. Is that true?” You swallowed, a bit unsure of what this had to do with anything, unsure which answer he wanted to hear, so you were just honest. “She told me later, when she drove us to her house. But that first night, on the boat, no I had no idea.”

JJ took his hat off to rub a hand anxiously through his hair. “I wanted to say I’m sorry. Back at the Wreck, I didn’t give you a chance to say anything, and that wasn’t fair. I just wasn’t ready to hear it.” You nodded softly along with his words, understanding his position. “What changed?” you decide to ask.

JJ chuckles awkwardly. “I guess you’re harder to stay away from than first thought… And I’m pretty sure my friends would murder me if I didn’t come talk to you.” His words made you chuckle, which felt good after two weeks of crying, but then you two stood in silence, just staring at each other for a moment.

“I’ve missed you, y/n… I don’t… I don’t care if your parents have money. Kie’s right, you’re no more a Kook than she is.” JJ finally said, and you felt like your legs might give out from under you. His words made your heart flutter with hope. But you couldn’t make the same mistakes.

“I still understand… if you can’t be with me. What Jules did was fucked up,” you say softly. “Yeah… yeah it was. But you’re not Jules… and… staying away from you isn’t punishing her, it’s punishing me,” JJ said, making your eyes widen as you step closer. “Does that mean…” JJ looked at you, all the walls he built over the years seemed to fall down in that instant. “Please… take me back. I’m losing my mind without you, I can’t sleep, I can’t eat-” you don’t let him finish as you run over to wrap your arms around him. JJ immediately brought a hand to your cheek, lifting your face to look at him before he pressed his lips to yours. 

“I’m sorry I was an idiot.” JJ breathed out after you two pulled away. You shook your head, “I should’ve just told you.” “No, Kie was right. I would’ve assumed- Don’t tell Kie I said she was right.” JJ quickly added, making you giggle before you pulled him down for another kiss.