#i think i said 'bong' more times in this than ive ever said in my entire life

[ghosttotheparty]

The dialogue writing prompt thing. Number eight with Steddie. I think Eddie saying it to Steve. Idk. It'd be cute:]

youre so right cw: weed use

8. “I look at you and I think, ‘sunshine. Literal sunshine.’ It’s annoying.” dialogue prompts!!

Eddie is very tired.

It's been a long... few days. (Feels like years.) And he wants to go to bed, and listen to the wind, and maybe get a little high, but as he thinks about it all he remembers where he is.

In the lobby of Hawkins Memorial Hospital, with stitches in his skin and an ice pack on his head. Next to Nancy Wheeler and Robin Buckley, with Steve Harrington by his side. Steve's knee won't stop bouncing up and down. Eddie can hear the rubber sole of his shoe squeaking on the tile, and after he suffers through it for another minute, he reaches out and sets his hand on him. Steve's knee freezes as soon as Eddie's hand is on it, but Eddie can feel his tenseness radiating through his jeans, can feel how anxious he is, and he wordlessly flips his hand over, holding it out.

He doesn't know what he expects, but after a moment Steve slides his hand into Eddie's, pressing their palms together and lacing their fingers. Eddie keeps staring at the floor. There's a spot of dirt on the white tile that looks how he feels. Steve's fingers tighten after a moment, and Eddie squeezes back.

They're there for a long while. Waiting. Robin falls asleep with her head on Nancy's shoulder, and Nancy rests her head on Robin’s, sighing deeply. Eddie wishes Steve would fall asleep. He seems like he could use it.

He doesn't know how long it is until a door opens and the others appear around the corner into the waiting room. Eddie and Steve pull their hands away silently, tightening as they watch everyone trickle into the room. Max, Lucas, Erica, and Dustin, followed by Max's mom, Lucas and Erica's parents, Dustin's mom, Dr Owens, and Chief Powell. Steve exhales next to Eddie. It takes a long while for them to sort everything out. The parents all look... Eddie doesn't think tired is the right word for it.

They all look scared. Even as they look at their children.

Eddie wishes he was high.

The kids don't want to go home alone, even with their respective parents, so a sleepover is organized at the Sinclairs'. Max will borrow some of Erica's pyjamas that are too big for her, and Dustin will borrow Lucas's. (Though Eddie suspects they'll all be asleep as soon as they enter the house. Especially Max, who looks like she's about to keel over any second. Lucas seems to notice it too, and keeps an arm around her the whole time.)

Goodbyes are said in the parking lot, in the brightness from the hospital that's spilling out into the night. Mr Sinclair shakes Steve and Eddie's hands and Ms Henderson hugs them both as gently as she can. Eddie feels like he's spinning, blindly hugging the kids, murmuring soft I love yous and pressing kisses to the tops of their heads, until he's standing by Steve and watching the cars peel out of the parking lot.

Nancy sighs heavily again.

"You're with me?" Steve asks Eddie softly. Eddie looks at him. His eyes reflect the hospital lights in a way that looks holy.

"Yeah," he says.

He sits shotgun while Steve drives to drop the girls off at Nancy's, getting out to hug them and accept the kisses they press to his cheeks, and then he watches Steve walk them up to the front door, hugging them both tenderly before he whispers something to Robin that makes her smack the back of his head. Steve is snickering when he comes back to the car, and it makes Eddie smile.

"Ready?" Steve asks, like they're going on an adventure instead of going home.

Home.

"Do you think... we can stop by my place first?" Eddie asks weakly. "I wanna get... some stuff."

"Yeah," Steve says, pulling out of the Wheelers' driveway. "What do you wanna get?"

"Uh." Eddie sighs. "Some clothes. Keepsakes. Cash. Wayne doesn't know where I hide it, I bet he didn't get it when they made him leave. And, uh..."

"And?"

"Okay, you can't judge me," Eddie says, opening his mouth to speak and make excuses for himself, but Steve interrupts with a quiet, "Never."

Eddie smiles at him for a moment.

"I kinda really wanna get high," he says. "I'm just... I'm so fucking tired, man, and my stitches hurt like a bitch, and I'm..." He trails off, unsure of what to say. He doesn't have that many reasons. He feels like he should have more, like he needs excuse after excuse to get high, but Steve just nods.

"I feel you," he says. "I have some weed at home, but it's not a lot."

"Steve Harrington," Eddie says, relaxing into his seat with relief. "Where've you been my whole life?"

Steve laughs quietly.

"Right here, man."

The trailer is taped off when they get to it, but they don't let it stop them. (It's not like Eddie's never broken in anywhere. Plus, he isn't even actually stealing tonight. It's all his.) If they get arrested, Powell is in on everything now. It'll be fine.

Eddie finds some bags and Steve helps him stuff them full of sweaters and jeans and shirts and handfuls of socks and underwear. Eddie finds his lunchbox in the living room, untouched and unbothered, and he supposes it makes sense that the military government men don't actually care that much about drugs in the grand scheme of things. He fills the lunchbox with the cash from the false bottom of his sock drawer. Steve watches, an almost curious expression on his face. Eddie does one last sweep of the room as Steves takes the bags out to his car. He presses a kiss to his guitar, silently promising he'll be back for her, He finds a bong under his bed and carries it out of the house with him, holding it up as Steve starts the car. Steve grins at him. (He's got an amazing smile. It lights up his whole face like a lamp.)

Steve’s house is eerily quiet when they get there. Silence isn’t all that weird in and of itself, Eddie thinks, but the house is so… big. Like there should be twenty people living here, and not just Steve by himself. Even at the trailer, there's always some kind of noise, the tap dripping, the radiator clicking, the wind making the windows rattle. But the Harrington house is so silent Eddie can hear his own heart beating.

Steve pauses in the doorway, taking a breath that almost echoes in the emptiness, and Eddie’s heart suddenly aches as he thinks about Steve coming home all alone, day after day, night after night. Sitting in the empty loneliness.

“Steve,” Eddie says softly as he follows Steve inside, watching as Steve turns to face him, holding one of Eddie’s bags.

“Yeah?”

Eddie hesitastes for just a moment before he steps forward, shutting the door behind himself, and wraps his arms around Steve’s neck in a tight hug. Steve hugs him back just as desperately, and it’s a little awkward because they’re both carrying Eddie’s bags, and Eddie can’t get as close as he wants to. Which is probably a good thing.

With the door shut, there’s no light in the house at all. It’s pitch dark, but Eddie doesn’t really care. Steve asks if everything is okay, his voice soft and breathy right by Eddie’s ear, and Eddie almost cries. His eyes burn, and he nods for a moment as he swallows, desperate for his voice not to break.

“Yeah.”

They separate after a few moments, slowly, like they don’t really want to let go.

Steve leads Eddie up to the guest room. Shows him how to turn on the shower, adjust the temperature.

When he leaves to take a shower in his own room, Eddie’s body aches. Like Steve’s absence makes him hurt. That’s probably not healthy, he thinks to himself. But when has Eddie ever had healthy habits? And in the grand scheme of things, Eddie doesn’t think a little codependency is the end of the world.

The shower is nice. The water is nice and hot, the water pressure even and hard enough on his back that he relaxes. He watches dry blood and dirt and Upside Down grime wash across the white tile floor and down the drain.

He gets cold when he gets out of the shower and quickly scrubs his hair dry with the towel before he dresses, grabs the bong and lunchbox, and heads downstairs.

Steve is in the kitchen, searching through the fridge, when Eddie gets there. His hair is dripping wet, and the sweater he’s wearing is too big, loose and hanging down to reveal his chest when he bends down.

“You hungry?” Steve asks, looking over his shoulder at Eddie. His eyes glance up and down. Eddie pretends not to notice.

“Maybe a little.”

Steve pulls some Tupperware out of the fridge and sets it on the counter before he reaches back in, looking back at Eddie.

“Did you re-bandage your stitches?”

“Uh, no,” Eddie says. He sets the box and bong on the island, watching as Steve pulls out two cans of Coke. “They’re not bleeding or anything.”

“Should still keep them covered,” Steve says. “So they don’t get caught on your clothes.”

“I don’t have…”

Steve just shakes his head.

“I got it.”

He pulls a first aid kit out from under the sink. Everything looks brand new, except the bottle of painkillers. Eddie leans against the counter as Steve pushes his shirt up, kneeling in front of him and carefully, gently bandaging him up.

Eddie laughs.

“What?” Steve questions, shooting a look up at him.

“Just…” Eddie sighs, looking at the ceiling, wincing as Steve presses medical tape to his skin so it sticks. “Helped prevent the end of the world. Somehow survived. Now I’m… standing in Steve Harrington’s kitchen.”

Steve laughs softly, moving onto Eddie’s other side. There are fewer stitches there, but the skin is all mangled. Steve is so gentle Eddie barely feels it.

“Who would’ve thought?” he says softly. Eddie just hums in response.

They’re eye to eye when he stands up. Eddie can’t tell which of them is taller. Steve’s eyes catch on his cheek, and he puts his fingers to Eddie's jaw, gently making him turn his face. Before Eddie can say anything, Steve is finding an ointment in the first aid kid and smearing it carefully over his cheek before he murmurs, “Tilt your chin up,” and Eddie looks up at the ceiling. Steve’s fingers press ointment over the injury on his neck. That one isn’t that bad, but Steve is still careful, almost tender. He bandages his cheek next, his teeth caught between his teeth and his brows furrowed in concentration.

Eddie takes the ointment when he’s done and wordlessly touches the underside of Steve's chin, making him look up so Eddie can do the same to his neck.

“When did you take the painkillers at the hospital?” Steve asks as they settle on the sofa.

“Uh.” Eddie hesitates, crossing his legs as he sorts out the weed. “Maybe two hours ago? Ish?”

“Think they have you to four to six hour ones,” Steve says. “Should last a while. If you need more in a few hours tell me.”

“Might not need ‘em,” Eddie says as he works. “If this works.”

Steve leans back against the armrest of the sofa and pops open a Coke as Eddie smokes, the empty house filling with the sound of the bong bubbling. He holds the smoke in his lungs until it burns, closing his eyes and letting his head fall back to blow the smoke at the ceiling.

“Yup.”

Steve snorts, and Eddie grins, opening his eyes to pass him the bong and the lighter.

“What would happen if your parents walked in right now?” Eddie asks, watching Steve he takes a hit, and Steve coughs, laughing as he blows the smoke out.

“They’d lose their shit,” he says, grinning. “Don’t know what they’d be more upset about, that I’m smoking weed or that I’m getting high with Eddie fuckin’ Munson.”

Eddie laughs, almost giggling, like it’s a compliment.

Steve takes another hit, his eyes fluttering shut as he inhales, and Eddie watches raptly, like he’s studying him.

Slowly, the pain in Eddie’s waist subsides, and he relaxes into the sofa, staring at Steve as they pass the bong and lighter back and forth, as they nibble at the fruit from the fridge, as they sip their Cokes. Eddie doesn’t even really know what they’re talking about anymore, but Steve is smiling, so it doesn’t matter.

The room is a little brighter when Steve smiles. Eddie’s eyes are stuck.

“You’re so annoying,” he says. Steve’s smile broadens, and he snorts.

“What the fuck did I do?”

Eddie huffs, taking a hit, watching Steve. He’s leaning against the back of the sofa now, slumping. His hair is almost dry, frizzy and wavier than Eddie expected.

“You’re so perfect,” Eddie complains, mentally cursing his lack of filter when he’s high. “Even in school, fucking… Golden boy Steve Harrington.”

Steve snorts, laughing quietly, childishly. Eddie likes seeing him like this. Relaxed, his brain quiet.

“Not so perfect anymore,” Steve says softly, still smiling.

“No,” Eddie disagrees. “Still perfect.” Steve rolls his head on the back of the sofa to look at him. Eddie nods. “Golden boy, perfect golden boy.”

Steve is smiling. His cheeks are flushed but Eddie can’t tell if it’s because of the weed or not.

“I mean seriously,” he says, because he can never shut up. It’s part of his charm. (Or lack thereof.) “I look at you and I think, ‘sunshine. Literal sunshine.’ It’s annoying.”

Steve giggles.

Eddie passes him the bong and drains his Coke while he takes a hit.

“What do you think of when you look at me?” he asks as Steve blows smoke at the ceiling.

Steve looks at him, his eyes glassy.

“Don’t know,” he says softly. “‘S not really… like.” He takes a breath. “An image. I guess. Like, I see your face, but when I think about you, ‘s more of like…” He looks at the ground, his mouth twisting as he thinks. “A feeling.”

Eddie looks at him, his breath catching in his throat.

“What kind of feeling?” he asks, taking the bong from him. Steve barely seems to notice, looking at the ground. He’s quiet, his lips almost curved into a smile.

“Don’t know. Kinda… In my stomach,” Steve says quietly, almost mumbling. Eddie listens closely. “‘Nd my… my chest.” He runs his hand over his chest, over his heart. Eddie lowers the bong to his lap, his eyes following the movement. “Like a twisty kinda feeling.”

“Like you’re sick?” Eddie questions. Steve takes another breath.

“Kinda,” he says softly. “But like… a good sick. Like a…” He gestures vaguely with his hand, his fingers moving. “Like a fluttery sick.”

“Like… butterflies?” Eddie asks quietly.

“…Yeah.”

Eddie smiles, raising his eyebrows.

“Sounds like you gotta crush on me, Stevie.”

Steve doesn’t say anything, still staring at the ground, and Eddie wonders if he heard him, before Steve blinks and his face shifts. Hardens. His brows furrow slightly like he’s thinking, and then his eyes widen and he looks at Eddie.

Oh.

“Steve?” Eddie asks quietly, looking at him, and Steve looks away sharply, the hand that touched his chest reaching for his hair.

“Shit.”

He gets up, and Eddie’s eyes widen, and this must be the actual Upside Down, because Eddie’s world has been flipped over. The ugly paintings on the walls all fall to the ceiling, and the burnt wood in the fireplace falls up the chimney, and Steve doesn’t notice.

“Shit,” he says again. He’s pulling at his own hair, pacing across the room. “Shit.”

Eddie follows him up, putting the bong on the ground and dropping the lighter. It bounces off the carpet and lands under the sofa.

“Steve,” he says, reaching for his shoulder. “Hey.”

Steve turns when he pulls at his shoulder, and Eddie looks into his red-rimmed, teary eyes.

“‘S okay,” he says softly, pulling Steve closer. He reaches for the hand in his hair, gently pulling it away. “It’s okay.”

“‘M sorry,” Steve chokes, breathing hard, and Eddie shakes his head, reaching to hold Steve’s face.

“Don’t be,” he says softly, smiling. “Don’t be sorry, it’s okay. Breathe, Stevie.”

Steve inhales deeply, looking anxiously between Eddie’s eyes. Eddie nods.

“It’s okay,” he says when Steve exhales slowly. His thumbs brush over Steve’s cheeks.

“Eddie,” Steve says weakly. Eddie pulls his face forward and kisses his forehead gently.

“‘S okay,” he murmurs.

When he pulls away Steve’s eyes are closed, and Steve’s hands find him, hesitant and gentle and soft on his waist like he’s scared Eddie’s going to fight him off. Eddie steps closer.

“I like you too,” he says softly. Steve’s eyes flutter open and find Eddie’s.

“What?” he asks breathlessly, his eyes shining again, filling with tears.

“I have a crush on you,” Eddie says quietly, slowly. “Like a huge, debilitating crush.”

Steve’s eyes unfocus, trained on Eddie’s mouth like he’s trying to find the words written in the air between them.

“Really?” he asks so quietly Eddie almost can’t hear him.

Eddie grins.

“Really really. Like, since high school.”

“Woah,” Steve breathes. Slowly, his hands find Eddie’s cheeks, gentle over the bandage that Eddie forgot about, gentle over his skin. Eddie's eyes flutter shut when Steve leans closer, sighing when their lips brush, and then they’re kissing. It’s a brief kiss, soft and tentative and nervous, but Eddie is breathless and almost dizzy when they part.

Eddie pushes his fingers into Steve’s hair, smiling softly when Steve exhales slowly, shakily.

“I think…” Steve starts quietly, his forehead resting on Eddie’s. “…I may be too high for this.”

Eddie giggles quietly.

“We can talk tomorrow,” he whispers softly. Steve hums, tilting his head and closing his eyes.

“Kiss me again?” Steve murmurs, nudging their noses together.

“Thought you were too high for this,” Eddie breathes. He’s just as high as Steve is. The room is spinning a little bit.

“I know, I just…” Steve stops, swallowing and licking his lips and looking at Eddie with a desperation in his eyes that makes Eddie ache. “I just want…”

Eddie kisses him. Hard, and lingering, just a firm press of his lips to Steve’s, and a soft whimper escapes Steve’s throat, his hands tightening on Eddie.

Eddie kisses him again when they part, tilting his head, and then again, and again until Steve feels like he’s about to fall over, leaning against Eddie heavily.

“Woah,” Steve says again, his arms now around Eddie’s waist. Eddie grins, pushing his hair back.

He pulls Steve into a tight hug, gentle over his bandaged sides, and Steve presses his face into Eddie’s neck, taking a heavy breath. Eddie tugs him over to the sofa, and it takes them a moment to get situated, finding a position that doesn’t strain Eddie’s stitches, that doesn’t put weight on their sides. Eddie ends up on top of Steve, his head on his chest, Steve’s hand tracing over his back and slowly dragging through his tangled curls. Eddie holds his other hand and presses kisses to his knuckles before he holds his hand to his face.

And Eddie falls asleep, excited, for the first time in many long years, for the sun to rise.

[ellitx]

helpppppp i read that scenario of reader sleeping over, and I couldn’t help but imagine that they all share the same room when that is. Also what do you think the twins would do to get readers attention over the other?

Im gonna set this back when you’re in the middle school or something.

masterlist

fluff

word count: 1.6k

You and the twins are already comfortable with laying on each other’s bed whenever you/they visit. Your mother, Amos, even brings snacks to your room for them to eat and she always gets excited whenever they come to your house.

She’s even the one who insisted if you wanna invite them for a sleepover! Your father, Decarabian, always disapproves whenever you ask him if you can sleep at the twin’s house. (Also because uncle Andrius is there and he doesn't want you to get close to him)

Himmel and Venti were having friendly bickering and thinking over what gift they should give to your mother as thanks for welcoming them in. Amos accepts anything! She really appreciates they’ve put an effort to do it but later on, feels guilty and that they didn’t have to do it.

Speaking of gifts, your birthday is almost coming. Himmel and Venti thought at the same time. And while Aunt Amos is here...

You already know that they also have the same idea to ask your mother what you would like to have as a gift but have different methods to approach her.

It was Himmel who first asked aunt Amos about it. Well... not really her but someone else. It was after dinner and he decided to help her out and the maids in cleaning the dishes. He was really nervous and shy to ask her. Is it really alright if he questions aunt Amos what are your favorites? Will she get disappointed that he doesn’t know what your likes and dislikes are for the entire years he grew up with you?

Himmel sighed and continues to wipe the dishes with a dry cloth and puts them inside their respective racks.

“Master Himmel is everything alright?” A maid suddenly asked in concern, surprising him.

“We can handle everything here. If you’re getting tired, we’ve already prepared and tidied the room as what the Young Mistress has ordered.” She continued. The boy blinked before shaking his head and giving a soft smile to her way.

“Oh please don’t worry about me! I’m just thinking about something.” His attention was back on the ceramic plate and he carefully does dry it.

“Is it perhaps the Young Mistress’s birthday is coming soon?”

Himmel almost dropped the plate if it were not for him to quickly regain his balance and tightly hold on to it for dear life. He looked at the maid in utter shock, his face was scribbled with bafflement and embarrassment as he owlishly blinked at her.

Was he really that obvious the maid managed to point out his current problems right on spot? Well, It’s better to talk to her about this right? She knows you more than him after all.

Himmel nodded and set his gaze on the plate, mirroring his appearance.

“What do you think [Name] would like to receive as a gift?” He muttered under his breath as heat began to crawl up to his face up to the tip of his ears.

“Young Mistress’s favorite?” The maid echoed. She then placed her gloved hands to her chin, deep in thought.

“I’m sure she’d love anything as long as it’s from you. It’s the thought that counts, is it not?” She said before turning off the faucet to avoid wasting water.

Himmel was quiet for a minute.

Anything, huh?

—

Venti would directly ask Aunt Amos what gift you would like when she was preparing night snacks for the three of you. The younger twin snuck out of the room and left you and Himmel alone to play some video games.

As much as he’d hate not being included there and missing out on the fun, the most important matter right now is the gift you’ll get for your day of birth!

“Aunt Amos! Aunt Amos!” Venti cried and slammed the door open to where the kitchen is. The said woman shrieked at the sudden intrusion and looked over her shoulder to see the culprit behind her almost heart attack.

“Venti... goodness you gave me a fright there.” Amos chuckled and continued to prep up an iced tea.

“Aunt Amos, I wanna ask you something!” He said and leaned over the counter to take a peek at what she’s doing.

She stopped whatever she’s doing and wiped her hands with her apron before setting her focus on the short male.

“What is it?”

Venti walked back and cleared his throat behind his fist as if he were going to make a speech.

“A man is sitting in a pub feeling rather poor. He sees the gentleman next to him pull a bag of 100 Mora out of his pocket.

He turns to the rich man and says to him,

'I have an amazing talent; I know almost every song that has ever existed.'

The rich man laughs.

The poor man says, 'I am willing to bet you all the money you have in your wallet that I can sing a genuine song with a lady's name of your choice in it.'

The rich man laughs again and says, 'OK, how about my daughter's name, [Name]?'

The rich man goes home poor. The poor man goes home rich.

What song did he sing?”

Venti ended his riddle with a smile at the woman. Amos seemed to be contemplating his question very well and it’s not often she gets to participate in his brain-teasers. So this is very much a surprise for her.

Well, enough about that, she has to answer this quickly and she doesn’t want to make him wait for her longer. Going back to his riddle, was the rich man supposed to be her husband? Venti did mention your name when the poor man asked the rich man.

A song that has your name...

“Is it Happy Birthday?” She answered.

“Bing bong!” Venti’s fingers were formed to an okay sign and gave her a big grin.

“Knowing the answer is Happy Birthday, I suppose you’re also going to ask me about [Name]’s gift, am I correct?”

Venti let out a hearty laugh and winked at her. “Correct once again, Miss Amos!”

“Sooo...” He held on to the chair’s backrest and gave her the best puppy eyes he could muster to get another answer from her.

“Please please please please tell me what [Name] would like— no, LOVE to get on her birthday!!” He begged and clasped his hands together as if he was praying to a god.

“Now, now, isn’t that cheating? Your brother never asked me about this so isn’t it fair for you if you guess as well?” She remarked as she arranged the brownies on the plates.

“Wait— Himmel didn’t ask you?!”

Oh, how foolish he was to think the older twin actually asked your mother. Was he thinking too much when Himmel helped her out in cleaning the table? Perhaps yes, perhaps not. Or maybe Aunt Amos is hiding something that even she cannot tell the hidden secret to him?

“Well, I suppose I can give you a hint on what it is.” Amos motioned for him to come closer in which Venti quickly obeyed. Venti took note of all the words left from her lips in his head and is beginning to plan out events on the next days before your birthday.

His smile was brighter than the sun in this nightly hour and his eyes sparkled in excitement and joy. Even though her hint lacks information and clues he could deduct, he at least speculated it must be that item!

“Thank you, Miss Amos! That’s already a good hint for me! Now if you excuse me, I suppose we can eat this already...?” He sheepishly asked as he looked on the tray placed with a pile of brownies on a plate, a pitcher of iced tea, and three tall fragile glasses.

“I was about to ask you if you can bring it to the room. Be careful not to trip on your way!” The young male bobbed his head and picked up the tray with his two hands.

“Will do! And thank you for the snacks again!” And then off he goes, his slippers slapping against the tiled floor to make his way back to the shared room.

Amos watched his form disappear before her eyes flicked to the doorframe. A small smile appeared on her lips and crossed her arms over her chest.

“You can come out now, dear.” She said. A good minute of silence was only present in the kitchen before a tall man stepped out of the darkness, sighing heavily as he threw her a look of disappointment.

“Did that little rascal really have to use me in his riddles?” He groaned before taking a look over the leftover pieces of brownies.

“What? It’s kind of amusing and smart to do it. I’ll give him kudos for that.” Amos opened her lips and popped in small bits of the dessert in her mouth to take a taste of it.

“Hmph,” Decarabian huffed as he poured a drink to the glass.

“And let me guess that Himmel also asked you about [Name]’s birthday?” He almost spat out his drink when his wife mentioned the name of your friend. It would be a waste if he did that and he doesn’t like to cause a mess in this area already.

“I told you he’s a good kid. You just have to get rid of that frown of yours and your authoritative aura. Himmel’s always doing his best and now he even had the courage to approach and ask you.”

Decarabian could only stand still and remain silent as he sipped his drink.

—

ive written a shared room scenario before and this is set on college au. Do take note this has nsfw content in it

[fishflakesims]

hii! 💖 If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog! ♥ have a wonderful day!!

aww cute ty 💖

oh dear god i can't put this under a read more I'm so fucking sorry in advance FDFZXXVVV

i have a big furby collection (well it feels big but i know ive seen people on furblr with way more) and all of them are named: daisy, klaus, the rye bread, gurby, bettie & bishop (theyre conjoined twins !!! i had them custom made), mozmin, junior (they're a gizmo furby my sweet sweet friend medic sent me and i call them junior because I named myself after the gremlin!!), duffy, fruit salad, parry (he's one of my doll's furbies tho), and sullychee aka chee chee plus three unnamed ones that look like triplets, an unnamed millennial furby, and two unnamed booms (one of which will be Duffy's wife) all of which i got when my grammy passed. i won't add a million pictures like i want to but here's two: my favorite picture of me with daisy (my first girl 🥺) even tho it's a few years old and a picture of lil giz* with parry, bettie, and bishop

*they're named lil giz coz i gave them to grammy when she was dying so she could think of me coz minus the blue eyes it looks like me when i was little plus they're in my favorite color! i am not just fat headed i promise bgdfdgv

2. the author that's inspired me most (unfortunately) (i say that because she's homophobic and threw a shitfit about people shipping dally & johnny but sorry luv not my fault two-bit was the only cishet character) was s.e. hinton! especially "the outsiders" like we started reading it in class in 6th grade but we weren't reading it fast enough so i went out and got my own copy to read GDFXXCCVVNN also the movie is my favorite book adaption literally ever !!! but SPECIFICALLY the 25th anniversary addition with the new soundtrack and all the deleted scenes added back in! i still have the first line of the book/movie memorized plus "the outsiders" are what got me into the greaser look & dudes that look like they just got out of a fight so u know for a homophobe Susan sure did shape my fruitiness. (this was gonna be more about my writing style than what it turned out to be but i got distracted bc i love the outsiders so much you guys oh my god)

3. I've been best friends with winter since second grade so it's been about sixteen years? apparently we met when i accused him of being a vampire (i don't remember that but it sounds an awful lot like something i would do plus i DO remember a picture book of different kinds of vampires in the school library) but we've only been dating for nearly 4 years (an actual 4th year this December 29 🤧💗💗💗) because i was oblivious and he's a nervous wreck so he was too afraid for awhile to do anything but then one day i start getting these anons in my inbox with all these cheesy pick up lines. and like if we're being honest i knew it was him from literally the second anon going on but i was like "u know jic i won't say anything yet" but the more he kept flirting with me on anon the more obvious it was so i talked to my friend at the time about it and she said i should give it a try because she noticed I'm more of myself around winter so then i messaged winter going "hey was this u?" and then winter was like "......maybe 😳" and then we decided we were gonna date and now we're in love and I'm gonna adopt 3 kids with him and cook meals for the family and take care of the kids and he can help me tend to my pot plants & herb garden and we can collect toys & bongs & have a few farm animals also we're gonna have matching hair colors for our wedding one day and we wanna go on a honeymoon to disneyworld 🥺

[beebeyjuice]

Beezleboss (Beetlejuice*x Neutral!Reader x OC) NSFW-ish

I have to complete anessaya dn I’m over here awake, listening to Tenacious D so just take it okay? just take it and...cuddle with it. It needs to be cuddled with.

*I may add the rock!BJ AU and Devil!BJ tag because...it’s fucking Tenacious D what other excuse do I have???

Warnings: Mentions of R*pe, drugs, with a little dark humour* (read after the ellipses)

Update: It is 4 am...I started at 1 am. I liked this story very much :D. Enjoy.

Published: 4/11/20

https://soundcloud.com/butcher-ben-592/tenacious-d-beezleboss

~~~

I was sitting on the couch, strumming the guitar semi-consciously while waiting for my roommate to put the pot in the bong. The notes rolled off like a god was savoring the delicious riffs that kept on cooking. We alternated the use of the pick that we have found, and with its existence our lives gotten better. We gotten fame, money, a taste of both pussy and dick, because why the fuck not?

We even got a new friend, our agent, who’s nickname was Beezleboss. Sure it was a weird name, but there’s even weirder ones that are accepted by the crowd. Maybe he wanted to join the band?

(Y/N) came into the living room with the bag in their hand and sit next to me, and I placed the guitar in the stand. The pick I placed on the necklace frame. We both have our own necklace that holds the pick so it wouldn’t be as easy to lose it. It had its own eight, and its own disadvantages-

For one...we sometimes get paranoid and we forget the other one has it. Sometimes I’m up at 3 AM on the roof in my underwear and braless desperately looking for it, but then realization hits like a motherfucker when I realize that 1) (Y/N) has and 2) I am never on the roof for whatever reason, nice view though. It is always a nice view, it would be fun to fuck someone...maybe Beezlebub? Bezebos? Beteljuice? Juice...

“Hey (Y/N) hand me the orange juice will ya?” I asked and made a grabby motion and thanking them for the carton.

Our phones vibrated and (Y/N) leant over on her right side to scan the screen while holding the bong in her hand, “Oh hey it’s Beezleboss, wants to meet us in the front yard.”

Confused, I asked, “Why didn’t he just come in like he always does?”

You shrugged your shoulders and set down the bong gently, bitch, you’re never gently with my stuff.

~~

I dressed up, well...put on a bra because I didn’t want to deal with the sweat stains when I’m inside the house and followed you outside to meet our manager. Sometimes (Y/N) and I speak freely in our home how much we really want to fuck him...oh my goood was he just delicious-looking. He can join our little band anytime if it means we just hop on and-

“Hey boss, how’s it going?” you greeted with a smile and pulled him in a hug.

He smiled, his canines (fuuuck me he can mark me anytime) showed as he returned the hug, “Pretty good, I was just strolling by see how you guys are.” When he released the hug, he pulled back to adjust the striped jacket. He had such an unusual sense of fashion, but he was so fucking adorable. Sometimes I don’t know whether to pinch his cheeks or to whip his sweet thicc butt *I felt my head tilt a little to scan the curves* or to just...take me.

I know (Y/N) is thinking those dirty ass thoughts, they do this little thing by crossing their arms across their chest and and using the fingernail of their pinky to scratch their arm lightly to ground them to reality and not slip into their sexual fantasies. I’m pretty sure they want to see him in a leather outfit, and god do I as well. I’m more of an emotionless, “zoning out” kind of person. I scanned his body and when I watched those gorgeous hazel eyes, only for them to have a direct contact do I smile and go over to hug them. I had no fucking clue what they were talking about but they didn’t say my name. I held him in a side-hug, resting my hand on my hip as I now enter the conversation, “Boss, you looking sexy as ever.” I reported, serious and saluting him  as that was the most important part of the discussion. We both saw the sudden blush and timidness that appeared and I leaned back slightly, made direct eye contact with you and went from an emotionless expression to a wide grin and a thumbs up liek it was indeed the mst blessful day ever. I got away with these comments because it was common, (Y/N), however, that (gurl/boi/madamonsieure)....that’s 50 shades of F.U.C.K.E.D.U.P., my comments were NOTHING compared to what this sex demon had to offer

~Flashback~

Me: Yo, (Y/N), the city of fallen angels has nothing compare to the operas you perform when you commit to the sexto-y-nueve.

You: *chuckles and you lil shit would grab my chin and lightly graze it*  I will fuck you day and night, from pleasure to pain, whether you want to or not *leans closer* and you will start calling me the Lideric because I will not stop until you say my name like a prayer and your bones will be crumpling, you will be so dehydrated that you will need to go to the hospital constantly to get IV bags injected into your bloodstream that when you waste their resources, you depend on my own cum to keep you alive. *smirks*

Me: ... *mouth gaped*...

You: *taps on my chin and leaves me hanging as you do your research*

Me: Holy shit, mark me down as scared and horny.

~~

You smiled so sweetly as you tried to brush me off, “Ignore her, she’s had too much to drink.”

I lazily pointed at you, objecting your claim, “That is not true...I may have had about two cups of Orange Juice, who knows.” I shrug my shoulders lightly. This made beezleboss chuckle and had a fit of giggles before taking a deep breath to calm down, “Alright, alright, guys I’ve been meaning to tell you about this..situation that I’m in and-” now I slowly unglueed myself from the manager made slow, long steps to stand next to you, “...que paso, compadre?”

He was confused, trying to understand why I got so defensive and ready to beat his cute butt off the driveway.

“I hope it isn’t to tell us you won’t be our manager.” You stated bluntly, always more mature than me. Now I was able to see the rings that decorated his fingers, the black fingernails, the green hair that was slicked back, his skin slightly palish as always.

When he laughed, he shooked his heads, “No noo, that is not it nah- uh it has to do with production.”

I tilt my head to the side, “But we just finished producing songs yesterday.” I say in a high-pitch voice to make aware of my confusion.

He nods, “Yes, you have.” He grins, now there was one canine tooth that was visible and I was confused. I wasn’t going to address the lost tooth, but you sighed softly, “Right, I think I know what you mean. Mija, let’s grab our guitars and go to the studio and make a few more songs.” When you walked passed me, you added: “Besides, we have a few songs under our sleeves.” and you glanced down on the silver necklace.

I smile and nodded in affirmation then looked at our boss, “We’ll be right back!” and I ran, following you. When I walked up the stairs to the door, I reached up to the necklace and looked down to see the empty frame. I smiled, then I suddenly panicked. My eyes widen, and my body tensed up. I rushed to you, nearly pinning you against the wall. You were taken off guard, raising the guitars above our heads, “Mija! Watch it, you almost made drop the guitars-”

“Listen to me, and I mean....fucking. listen to me.” My voice was shaking, my hands were trembling and I was on brink in crying, “I...lost the pick.” and I sucked in my lips. Your eyes widen, lowering your arms, “Whatthefuckdoyoumeanyoulostthefuckingpick.” You said faster than you ever said anything in your life.

“I mean...I lost the pick. It was in the frame, and now it’s gone. We have to distract him, we have to distract boss and I have to look for the pick.”

~~~

Meanwhile, Beezleboss, who waited patiently, smirked slowly as he raised his hand to reveal the glowing green pick. The pick transformed into a canine tooth that was possible for him to shape shift into his true form: His eye color changed from the hazel to the golden orbs, his mouth opened slightly to reveal the two pairs of canines into two rows of sharp teeth. He stuck out his tongue for it to be fork-pitched and slithering to get the sensation used to.His suit got dirtier in means that it was aging, horns grew from the temples, making an upward curve. His finger nails grew into claws and he was more pale, like beige white paper. A tail was revealed from under the coat and flicked a few times, it stretched as well, curling a few times before making it rest on the concrete floor.

He lolled his head, making a growling sound emit from his throat as he was relieved to be in his true form, ready to take your souls to the netherworld and make you two suffer from the pain he had to endure with the stupid breathers.

~~~

I paced back and forth, repeating fragments and ideas before you take my shoulder, “We’re gonna find the pick, and we are going to make music after, okay?” You gave me my guitar and I put on the strap, “Y-yeah, yeah, we’re gonna find it.” I repeated, doing the habit of rubbing my fingertips and we headed out the door. However, when we walked outside, we screamed in horror as we jumped in our arms.

“IT’S SHOOOOWTIME!!~” The entity sanged in his gravelly voice, even biting his lip as he heard the screams, blinking only to smirk towards us, his golden eyes filled with rage and mischief.

We separated from each other to fully observe the demon, monster whatever it was that was in front of us, speechless in the moment.

He spread his arms apart as he says in a guttural tone: “I am complete!!”

“Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck” (Y/N) and I synced, really progressing what was going on.

“Yes you are Fucked! Shit out of Luck! Now I’m complete and my Cock you will suck!” and he proceeded to open the jacket slightly to thrust his hips forwards to mimic the fucking motion, “This world will be mine, and you’re first in line, You brought me the pick and now you shall both die!”

I was frozen in place, my eyes could not tear off. I must be high, I must be.

But I hear (Y/N)...sing? After all, he did sounded like he was singing too in the way that he spoke.

“Waaaaaiit! Waaaaiiit Waaait you motherfucker!” and I finally looked over at (Y/N) who stepped forward and pointed at him, “We challenge youu to a rock off!”

They brought the guitar in hand, ready to play, only before he pointed at the demon with their basic pick, “Give us one chance to rock your socks off!...”

I swore I saw a little hip jiggle when you sang that part softly.

I know looked at the demon who looked ready to kill us, but was distressed.

“Fuck!” He turned around, his back facing us. Well, at least his ass looked better. “Fuck! Fuuuuuuck.” He growled, turning back around after clenching his hands and even running his hands through his hair, “The demon code prevents me,” and when he turned around, a scroll appeared in his hands. He looked annoyed, if not irritated at the challenge that my roommate came up with, “From declining a rock off challenge. WHat. are your terms, what’s the ca-a-atch~.”

Now it was our time, (Y/N) looked back at me and I was trying to tell you something but nothing came out. I was too scared,

“Four things, two from me and two from her!” You shouted, looking back at him, “...If we win, you must take your sorry aaasssss back to heeeelll. And also you will have to pay our reeent.”

I actually thought that was a good idea, and I nodded slowly in agreement but also respect for thinking outside of the box.

“And what if I win?..” His hand raised to graze his beard and the growls came back, and there was a chill in both our backs.

“...” Now I’m stuck.

“...Then you can take her back to hell...” (Y/N) suggested, shrugging her shoulders in an inquisitive way, to see if it would work. I nodded mindlessly before those words clicked. I quickly snapped my head to you, worried as fuck, “...What?!”

I stepped forward to you.

They looked straight ahead before glancing at me, “Trust me mija, it’s the only whey.”

“What the fuck are you talking about?” I asked in a panicked tone, only to be grabbed by them. Their arm wrapped around me , the other on my abdominal area as we both looked straight.

“To be your little..” and then I feel someone groping my chest, “bitch.” they finished and I snapped at them.

Partially satisfied, with an eye roll, he announced: “Fine! Let the Rock off Begin!” and he released a maniacal laughter that would have wet my underwear for multiple reasons besides being scared.

And when he raised his hands, the scene changed. We were caught in the middle of an arena of speakers, a drum set appearing, a microphone sitting in the middle. A guitar and a bass on their stands. We watched three clones appear, each taking their places. The real raised his hand and lowered it as he stood behind the microphone. The drummer was perfect in every way playing the drummer, never missing a beat (no times for puns).

“I’m the devil- I love metal!” They all sang in unison, more guttural than with one, only from the real one to stuck out his tongue and wiggle it at us. We jumped at every chance, fidgety and also speechless at the performance.

The guitarist stepped forward, planting his right foot forward only to succesfully catch out attention when said, “Check this riff is fucking Tasty!!” and proceeded to shred out souls he performed.

Lastly, the real boss, he took the microphone, the tail wrapped around the stand as he sang his verse:

“I’m the devil I can do what I want

Whatever I’ve got I’m gonna flaunt!

There’s never been a rock off that I’ve ever lost!”

I glanced at you in a concerned look, already certain that I’m fucked.

When I look back, however, he revealed a wall of sex toys which made me jump.

“I can’t wait to take her back to hell

I’m gonna fill her with my hot demon gel” and he squirted lube on us, making us jump but me cower behind you.

“I’ll make her squeal like my scarlet pimpernel!” and he mimicked once again the fucking motion. .For a moment, (Y/N) stepped forward and shouted, “NOoooo!” It Boss by surprise, the illusion getting rid of. Head turned over their shoulder, they tried to make me jump in, “Come on Mija, bring the thunder!”

I was hopeless, I was already see the future of being a sexdoll, “There’s just no way that we can win, that was a master piece...”

Now they turned around and grabbed my shoulders, “Listen to me.”

“He rocks to hard because he’s not a mortal man!” I raised my hand at him who was currently smoking a cig.

“God damn it! He’s gonna make you his sex slave, gonna gargle mayonnaise-”

“Nooo” I sobbed.

“Unless we bust a massive monster mama-jam!”

I nodded, understanding you, “We’ve been through so much shit...“

“Deactivated lasers with my dick!” He shouted excitedly, and for a mere second attempted to remember a single memory where they did that.

“Now it’s time to bow this fucker dooown!!” we synced and faced the boss.

I brought out the guitar and began to strum only for you to continue “Come now, it’s time to blow doors down!”

I nodded excitedly, bouncing on my toes, “I hear you man it’s time to blow doors down!”

You posed and danced as you sang, “Light up the stage ‘cause its time for a showdown!”

Now I was confident to step forward with the thanks of my friend, “We’ll bend you over then we’ll take you to Brown Town.”

and we both sang, “Now we’ve got to blow this fucker doown!”

I quickly stated the fact if this does not work: “He’s gonna rape me if we don’t blow doors down!”

“Come on, we must drive it down now”

“Yeah Baby!!”

You confidently pointed at him as you smirked, “Hey anti-christ-er, Beezlboss, we know you’re weekness- OUR ROCKET SAUCE!”

ANd the something came over me that suddenly I stopped playing, only to actually be stuck ina thinking process.

The halt confused you and the boss, “What the fuck was that!” you shouted.

I scanned the boss almost ina  critizing way, “I just realized something...”

“HUH?!” you both responded.

“I never got to say what I wanted.” I stated plainly.

You wacked the back of my head and I nearly tripped.

“You were nearly raped and you’ve got the nerve to say that!”

“Wait cabron listen to me!” you shouted back and the you looked at the boss, “Yo, you gnna destroy the world?”

Speechless, Beezlboss remained there, “Uhhh...no?”

I nodded and process that, “Then how about we forget all this and come inside, become our new roommate and date?”

That question alone made them look around for any secrets cameras of some sort.

“What the fuck is happening..”

“Exactly, you know, when you were human and all, (Y/N) wanted you to fuck us and fuck you. You see them scratch their arm right?”

“yeah...”

“Observant! But that’s their way of not falling into a sexual fantasy! I’m a motherfucking open book that will open her legs with a snap of fingers! Rape is off-limits though!”

“And...?”

“Boy,...you will not hear the end of the day if you let me continue talk when I want to date that sexy ass of yours. ANd now that you have horns, now I have something to hold on when I’m riding- let’s go inside. now.” You made your way inside, shocking both outside.

“Now!!!!” you barked and both (Y/N) and boss head inside. I got closer look and I grin, “Oohh, you managed to get even sexier.”

“Wait...you both....really wanted to fuck me?”

“And date you, don’t forget that. We just didn’t want to make it awkward since you were out manager.” you explained, making you blush from the revelation.

“And you still want to date me?” He asked in clarification and you quickly grabbed his tie and pulled him down in a lustful kiss, taking your hand in mine to pull closer. I introduced tongue and when we pull apart, a string of saliva was attached, “You should wait until (Y/N) opens their mouth. I came three times.” you admitted, “didn’t even touch me.” I smirked, “Now come on, let’s ignore what just happened and just get on with it yeah?” you asked and leaned forward to kiss his neck. You blushed so hard, you felt him place his hand on your waist and nodded to male the move. His expression soften up and you leaned forward to kiss him, already twirling tongues.

One thing for sure, this relationship is the best one ever made.

[cancer-man-speaks]

Cancer Sucks But You Live

My punctuation sucks because I haven’t evolved thumbs.

---------------------------

Sometimes I put things off so long that I feel ashamed and in turn try to bury it even deeper in the pile of things to do. As far as excuses go it’s not the greatest but most fall short of that. A great deal of that lost time is laziness but there is also a part of me that doesn’t want to look back, that doesn’t want to remember what it was like to be where you are at.

    Always obsessed with outward appearance, I cracked a joke when the doctor told me that my PET scan lit up like a Christmas tree on crank. I cried in my sister’s arms when she ran to me across the snow dusted parking lot of the clinic. I smoked a pack of cigarettes on the car ride home, trying to keep my hands busy, to do something other than think about what this all meant. I calmed down before walking in, steeling myself to be as stoic and stone faced for my family as I could. In my head I thought that I couldn’t feel this for the sake of others around me. The moment I walked in the door, I saw the tear streaked faces of my mother and sisters. The dogs milled around their ankles not sure what to make of all their sorrow and their inability to help (or in our beagle’s case, his inability to get fed.) All my bluster, all my hubris fell away when I saw my loved ones, the things I had to lose all in one place. They embraced me one at a time then we came together as a group and I lost it. All motor control lost, my legs felt like jelly. They as a group, as a family supported my weight until I could stand on my own two feet again. The beagle, ever caring, bit me in the ankle for being too far into my mother’s person space.

When I got home from the biopsy, that confirmed the doctor’s suspicion of cool case of type b small cell non-Hodgkin's lymphoma, I took to sleeping on the floor. I told myself it was to keep my bad back comfortable but the truth was it felt good to have something solid underneath me as everything was changing. The days passed and the face in the mirror grew ever more foreign. The bone under my flab carved itself out in my cheeks and jaw. Hollow pockets formed around my eyes that gave me the look of an upstairs basement dwelling gnurdsferatu. The only thing that didn’t change were the patterns on the pitted hardwood of my floor. I’d take off my glasses, lay my head on the cool floor, and follow the whirls in the grain with my weary eyes until they lead out of blurry site. There was a comfort in knowing that just because I couldn’t see where the rich, brown lines ended it didn’t mean they were done travelling.

Either through pity or not being able to read the signs of chemotherapy I’d occasionally get compliments on my physique. Over a beer or two somebody would ask, “You look really good, man. What’s your secret? You been going to the gym or doing heroin?”

Nothing beats the satisfaction of the anti-joke that is responding with an off handed, casual, “I have cancer. It beats the hell out of doing palates.” After you explain the sitch to people a million times explaining it one more time is mundane and boring. They will stumble a second on their words; not sure if you are telling the truth or a joke in poor taste. It’s the ultimate, “Gotcha,” moment. When your diagnosis becomes blasé your spirits soar.

    From a few days after I was diagnosed letters poured in by the boatload. Friends, family, friends of family, people that had passed me once at the mall and paid a compliment to my shoes all wanted me to know that there was hope and that I was not alone. I’d read them and be dumbfounded by the amount of care people could express for a stranger. I was even more dumbfounded by the amount of care the family could express. No matter how hard I tried to blend into the background, to continue my weird, self-isolation from my family they kept firing salvo after salvo of cards and gifts. They’d send me gum, stickers that said, “Fuck Cancer,” (Because as we know cancer is terrified of strong language.), and all manner of sweet, sweet candy treats. There was no way for me to stay off the radar of the people that loved me.  

    I held it together through my first few rounds of chemo. It really didn’t bother me until my hair fell out. Until my fourth round I was feeling like a million bucks. I was getting skinny, I lost a few stray hairs, and I had an actual license to smoke pot. What 24-year-old wouldn’t love that? I was driving to the store to grab a drink and I ran my hand through my hair and it came back in tufts between my fingers. Pulling off the road into an abandoned store’s parking lot I started neurotically, compulsively picking away at my scalp and beard. Handfuls of the stuff coated the front seat of my 03’ Accord but still I couldn’t stop. I watched in horror as my reflection warped in the rearview mirror. I just couldn’t stop. After a half hour of what scholars refer to as, “Going bananas real manic like,” I regained my composure. I drove myself over to a friend’s house and had her shear my head with the clippers her dad used to shave his back. From that day on I was bald. It wasn’t so bad when I got used to it. Every now and then I would get a weird phantom limb sensation, as though I still had a rugged mane of hair, when the breeze blew on my naked scalp.

    I was in and out of the hospital all the time. My guts exploded one time when a tumor responded to the chemo and disappeared. It was what we wanted with the tumor, not so much what we wanted for my intestines. They cut out ten feet of my goop and stitched me back up. I was locked up in the cancer klink for two weeks after that. They had me on a tube and all of my food and fluids came from an IV, except when family or friends were around. They would sneak me a small cup of ice cubes, a rare sip of water, or even, once, a whole bottle of tangerine Bai over a whole night. Even when I was being a real grumpy cancer boy my friends, family, and everybody else would stick it out just to let me know I wasn’t alone. In that exact same stay, a friend of mine actually saved my life because he was able to understand my garbled speech through my nose/mouth tubes. I’d been trying to explain to my nurse that the bile vacuum they had in my guts was pumping my green-black bile back into me but she may have been one of god’s special people. When my friend confirmed that my gunk was being pumped back into me, he snagged somebody. Without that kind of support, I’d have either been dead or in the hooskow weeks longer. Not every situation is bubbling gut ooze but when it is remember to trust those people around you enough to say, “Hey, my bubbling gut ooze vacuum feels like its acting weird. Can you go look at the container the ooze is collecting in and tell me what it’s doing?”

    You’d think that with all this gut busting and chemo I’d be taking it easy. Wrong. I’m a big idiot so instead of resting I kept smoking, went to the bars regularly, and tried my hand at in the DIY rock n’ roll venue game. My nights before chemo were full of putting anything and everything I could inflict on my body. Jumping through tables, mosh pits, and drinking beer bongs to Jean Claude Van Dame flicks were everyday occurrences. I’d been dumb before cancer. With the ability to live a bohemian, YOLO life I did just that. I’d burn the candle at both ends because I didn’t know if there was going to be a tomorrow. Tomorrow always came; usually with a Jimmy Buffet grade hangover. Dumb. I was dumb. I did seven rounds of chemo then stem cell and not once did I let off the gas petal of stupidity.

    But you know what?

    I survived. Against all odds, against odds that I was actively trying to stack against myself, I survived. Was it a miracle sent down from the heavens? Maybe. Was it aliens? I’d like to think so. Was it the constant support of my friends and loved ones coupled with cutting edge, state of the art technology in the hands of the most competent doctors and nurses in the industry even though I was hellbent on dying young and beautiful because I’m an idiot? That’s a run-on sentence. It’s also a pretty good idea of what kept me alive, what will keep you alive. I was full to the brim with cancer while dancing on the brink of self-immolation. If I did everything in my power to give myself the odds of a three-legged horse at the Kentucky Derby what do you think yours are? I bet you take care of yourself at least slightly better. I’d like to think that if I beat cancer there is an infinite amount of hope for you, who is not an idiot with a death wish, to go into remission.

    There will be moments in the dead of night where you doubt your own survival. There will be bright days that you will sleep away. There will be moments where you lay on the floor in the fetal position bathed in hot tears and cold sweat. You will think of what a life without this hell would be like. You will feel like the cards are stacked against you. The, “What if’s,” will mix a cocktail of fatal fear in your skull eating away at your resolve. You will walk into your kitchen and forget for half an hour that you came in there for soup. You will throw that soup up and lay hunched and miserable over the porcelain for an hour. You will wonder who will carry your name? Who will see your babies walk across the stage at graduation?

The answer is you. This may be the worst moment of your life but it will not be the one that defines you. What defines you will be all that comes after this nightmare. With your two hands you will make great works. Gardens resplendent in their rainbow will call your master. You will see the white sands of far off beaches, will feel the artic chill of the frozen wastelands allegedly known as, “Canadia” far to the North. Mortal peril will be replaced with picking up the kids from karate and a gallon of milk. You will watch your children grow and cover this earth like that brand of paint I can’t mention for copyright reasons. As you watch them cross that stage or walk down the aisle you will have at your sides the same faces that did their best to make you smile from your bedside during your weakest moment. Trust in them as you would have them trust in you. They will be your guide when you cannot find yourself, we will be your guide.

[causeimalady-thatswhy]

Is this room getting smaller?  It feels like its getting smaller.  I hear the sound of footsteps in the apartment above.  Our window is open to try to circulate the suffocating air and I hear cars driving past, going well over the speed limit.  Our TV is on, the portable dishwasher is going, and I hear two unfamiliar voices enter the building.  Which is like sitting on your bed in the house you live in and hearing someone walk down the hallway right past the door to your bedroom, only you have no idea who the fuck they are.  We hear everything here.  All of the noise is polarizing.  And then I hear my kids.  I get lost in the noises of our musty cave.  My children find me and bring me out.  They ask for a snack.  I smile, say no.  They continue playing.  They don’t know, because this is all they know.  I continue sitting, lost in thought, dreaming of anywhere to take them that isn’t here.  

We almost rented a house. A few times.  But things came up, we decided not to, we decided to wait. Four years later we’re still where we were.  Everything is more expensive, so we fucked up. We’re trapped.  In this small apartment.  With the small rooms, that feel smaller with four people living in them. Four people.  900 square feet.  That’s not even that bad.  I hear stories of people close by and far away that have it way worse.  My mind wanders to that place, and then the guilt sets in.  I should be so lucky to live where I do.  There are people in the world who are suffering.  I don’t deserve pity.  But as much as I try to pull myself out, I am suffering.

We almost bought a house. That just happened.  We got so close to freedom.  We were denied our loan.  The details make sense now, but we were told it was a go.  We were pre-approved, our offer accepted, all inspections passed, title work done, closing costs covered.  Nope, just kidding.  A week before closing.  The closing of our hardest chapter, by far.  A week before we could get the keys to a real home, with a real yard, and a real fucking laundry room.  With neighbors far enough that if they lit a bong the smoke wouldn’t damage our mattresses and couch cushions and my innocent babies wouldn’t wake up with black boogers.  Neighbors far enough where I don’t have to explain to my young children what they’re smelling in the hallway as were walking down to do laundry.  Neighbors far enough where when there are domestic disputes until 6 am, loud enough where it sounds like they’re going to spill through our cave door, our kids wont wake up confused.  Neighbors where if the drunk idiots next to us decided to throw a fucking party, the bass from their stereos woudn’t scare my kids into thinking there are loud monsters in their room.  Privacy.  Peace. Fresh fucking air.

I live in a safe place. Safety, to me though, is relative to your mind and your thoughts.  My sister basically lived in the ghetto and mentally, was totally fucking fine.  She wasn’t scared.  My apartment has “security”.  The security guards couldn’t do anything about the drug problem but hey at least I have a number to call.  I live in a safe city.  Full of tourists in the summer, rich or poor people in the winter, but pretty much safe. This city, like most others, is completely unaffordable for people trying to start their lives.  Low paying jobs galore, expensive homes galore. Middle class?  Gone.  There are people in the world who are dieing.  I am selfish to think I deserve more than them, more than those mothers who, like me, so deeply crave a better life for their children.  But their better life is across the country, continent, ocean, world.  Mine can be almost anywhere in my county.  I am blessed and lucky to be born in America.  But am I really safe? Never.

My husband is a veteran. He went to war instead of college. When it came time for reenlistment, I was pregnant and he decided to take me home and try college again.  He does everything for me.  I say he doesn’t show me affection but everything he does, he does for me.  As I’m writing this he is talking to me more than usual, and touching me more than usual, because he knows.  I want out of here. I want my kids out of here. And hes the only one who can do that for us.  Really I should be fine, the pressure is on him.  But my mind betrays me.  He works hard. He deserves a house more than me, but my kids deserve a house the most.

Theres a park down the street with a playscape and a cute beach on the bay.  My kids basically grew up there.  No backyard, remember?  Once when we were at this beach, my kids were playing on the playscape.  Two men were sitting on a bench looking out at the water. They both got up and walked towards the parking lot, towards us.  One man was holding his phone, and as he got close I saw that his camera was on.  He smiles at me, looks up at my son, takes a fucking picture of him, and says “cute kid”.  Safe my fucking ass.  No where is safe.  I could kill myself for not ripping the fucking phone out of his hand, and shoving it up his weird old fucking ass.  I called the police, because I am who I am.  And the person on the phone seemed concerned, but my husband said everything was probably fine.  Except I read about pedophilia and weird fucking people on the internet all the time. In my mind, one of those people might now have a picture of my son. Because we don’t have a backyard.

Theres a splash pad downtown where I live.  It was shut off and my kids were too little but I try to get them outside when its sunny. I try to take them places and give us all some fresh air, a break from our cave.  So I got the double-jogging-stroller and we walked.  I have a stroller for every occasion, my parents think that’s weird.  But when you live in an apartment its necessary.  I always have to pack, and plan, and prepare when I want to go outside. We were walking back to the car from this splash pad, looking out at the water.  A man starts walking toward me.  He has a phone in his hand but I didn’t notice until he took a picture of us.  He told me “You belong in Hollywood”.  I smile and quickly walk toward my car.  He gets into a green truck with branding on the side.  At least this time the kids were bundled in hats and blankets.  They probably weren’t visible in the picture.  Safe.

Once I was at my friends house. She owns her house all by herself.  She is not afraid, ever.  At least I don’t think.  We got out of the car and started walking to her front door when a man on a bicycle rode by really slowly, and stared into our eyes the entire time without saying hi or anything.  When he got to far and had to break the stare, he turned his head around the other way to keep staring as he kept riding his bike.  Eventually he stopped looking.  My friend told me, “Ive never seen anything like that here before”.  I know….its me.  But I digress.

I packed a lot of stuff already.  Each box is labeled with it’s contents and what room of the house the stuff was going to go.  I printed out the dimensions of the house so I could have them with me if I decided to go into home depot and plan.  I planned how I would arrange every room.  I thought about where I would put a Christmas tree, how the tree in the front yard would be perfect for a tire swing. I thought about how cute it would be to put pumpkins outside and what it would be like to take my kids trick or treating without driving them somewhere else.  I thought it would be fun to build a teepee in the backyard for the kids to play in, and what it would be like to actually be able to have bonfires.  Once I dreamt that we pulled up the carpet to reveal hardwood floors, just like in Fixer Upper.  Now that we’re staying I might as well throw away the stuff in the boxes.  I packed almost half of our apartment and we still don’t have any space.

My family could have stayed with us.  There were two rooms in the basement.  One for a guest room and the other for a playroom.  Perfect.  We live 4 hours from our families.  My husband and I both work.  He works a lot more, so im home a lot more.  He has always been good at making friends.  I guess its probably me...I think im nice, friendworthy?  Maybe im too nice.  Either way, I was going to try to convince my mom to live with us in the summer.  Then I would be safe, and have company.

I grew up in a suburban middle-class subdivision.  I played outside with kids in my neighborhood all the time.  I was born in 91, so I am one of the last generations that remembers a time before the internet.  We didn’t even get a VCR until DVD players were a thing.  I loved my childhood.  I had fun. I had a happy and healthy childhood with parents who loved me and a safe, happy home.  I was spoiled for that.  I know now, that is rare.  And that is to be treasured.  And I must do that for my children, as soon as I possibly can.  They are loved, and we laugh, but only inside.

I have to mourn the loss of this home, the memories never to be made.  Painting my kids rooms.  Watching them play in the leaves. Watching them ride their bikes.  Reading books by the fireplace. Picnicking in the backyard.  My kids playing with our neighbors, who are the same age.  Planting a garden.  Going on adventures without going somewhere unfamiliar.  Opening the back door and letting them run.  Just run and run.  I want to let them out and let them run until their little legs get tired.  And then bring them inside for a sandwich.  I feel like Sandra Bullock in Birdbox.  I don’t want to have to tell them to slow down, that they will die because cars are driving by too fast, or people are doing drugs on their balconies, or to tell them they cant play on the sidewalk because the creepy guy above us will linger out there too long.  I have to mourn the loss of my kid’s almost first childhood home. And pray, pray, pray it will come sooner than later.  But hey, at least we have somewhere to live, and to everyone else it’s probably safe.

[wwounu]

85 questions~

Tagged by @svt-angel​ <33

Last…

drink: water

phone call: my mum

text message: a photo to my friend i cant remember what i put lol but it was something with ‘that made me more sad than i thought’ and then something about sleep

song you listened to: hello - seventeen that song makes me hardcore uwu

time you cried: an hour ago 

Ever…

dated someone twice: dating who’s she

kissed someone and regretted: nope

been cheated on: nahh

lost someone: yeah, i guess

been depressed: no i don’t like to think so anyway...

gotten drunk and thrown up: i’ve thrown up but lol as if i drink

Fav colours:

blue, grey, white, black im very plain i know...

In the last year have you…

made new friends: mhmm!!

fallen out of love: noooo

laughed until you cried: oh yeah ofc because of this video i was a mess

found out someone was talking about you: ??? maybe??

met someone who changed you: kinda

found out who your friends are: yep hehe

kissed someone on your facebook friends list: i dont have facebook hA*

General:

how many of your facebook friends do you know irl: check *

do you have any pets: nope and i dont want any now with that thing with the dog happened

do you want to change your name: ive learnt to like my name so im good hehe

what did you do for your last birthday: i had lunch with my family, had a sleepover with my friends and watched IT, cried, went out the next day to have dinner together it was okay

what time did you wake up today: 11am i slept at half six what the heck

what were you doing at midnight last night: i took a screenshot of an seventeen incorrect quote this and this one and kept annoying my friend how it was midnight bc she said she’d sleep early yeah keep promising yourself that

what is something you can’t wait for: the next school holiday im going back in two weeks fuck everyone

what are you listening to right now: “wonwoo talking for 1 hour” 

have you ever talked to a person named tom: i guess? but like, he just kept singing fire

something that gets on your nerves: my classmates whoops

most visited website: youtube or instagram tumblr too

hair color: dark brown

long or short hair: long but not too long lmao

do you have a crush on someone: who would i be crushing on though :/

what do you like about yourself: not a lot jokes ummm i dont really know...

want any piercings?: i want more, so yeah

blood type: i dunno?

nicknames: keagan, keags

relationship status: alone

zodiac: capricorn

pronouns: she/her

fave tv shows: age of youth

tattoos: im too young but why not ;)

right or left handed: right

ever had surgery: nope!

piercings: my ears its very basic... wait wasnt this asked before or what

sport: i dont do sport

vacation: next year i might go to the philippines but that depends i hate my school tch

trainers: the only ones i have are my air max 95 since 2015 i never use them, only for school

More general:

eating: nothing im craving eclairs

drinking: nothing as well

i’m about to watch: i’ll probably watch free

waiting for: i dunno heh,,

want: umm i dunno i want a carat bong i guess

get married: dude im too young

career: doctor 

Which is better?

hugs or kisses: hugs i like hugs even though i get awkward with them lol

lips or eyes: eyes but then for lips would i count as smile? because boy oh boy

shorter or taller: taller partner wise

older or younger: either but not too old or young ygm

nice arms or stomach: mate what

hookup or relationship: relationship?? im literally two

troublemaker or hesitant: why not both

Have you ever…

kissed a stranger: no

drunk hard liquor: no

lost glasses: no but id forget them

turned someone down: plenty of times just generally, i turn down anything i dont wanna do because imma wuss

sex on first date: dude.

broken someone’s heart: lol theres no ‘someone’ in the first place

had your heart broken: oh my god nO

been arrested: MATE-

cried when someone died: oh, yeah

fallen for a friend: uh... guess so?

Do you believe in…

yourself: depends on my mood

miracles: kinda

love at first sight: nah

santa claus: used to

kiss on a first date: in my opinon no i dunno why lol i just dont

angels: sure

Others:

best friend’s name: rum, sehun, ggukie what can i do without them + i changed their names so i dont expose their actual ones xx

eye color: vv dark brown

fave movie: ready player one was cool

fave actors: ummm i dunno heh... (edit: DO KYUNGSOO AND JEON WONWOO SHUT UP)

I tag: aaa idk who to tag so anyone can do it (ha im lame)

[bygosscarmine]

Worlds Apart - Chapter Five

find previous chapters here: [link]

a W: Two Worlds fix-it fix (Oh Yeon Joo x Kang Chul) - rated T for now: some disturbing images

The Moment He's Been Waiting For (1544 words)

In which Yeon Joo tries to break it to Bong-Soo gently, and Kang Chul’s savior comes under scrutiny.

Yeon Joo woke slowly, with the vague sense that it was odd she wasn't having a nightmare. Then she remembered why she was thinking that, and sleepiness fled. The memory of the failed surgery was still visceral, but now it was overlaid with the brutal measures she'd taken last night. Even as she cringed, remembering roughly stabbing into that man, it felt like she was no longer trapped so closely by the other trauma.

She had promised to tell Soo Bong what was happening. She didn't think he'd believe it, but she needed to tell someone, anyway.

Soo Bong was just arriving as she came to the studio.

He prepared her tea, and they sat in uneasy silence while Yeon Joo tried to think of what words to say.

"I saw Kang Chul, for real, yesterday," she started.

"There's a guy that handsome in Seoul in real life?" Soo Bong said with appreciation.

"Not just handsome, not just looking like Kang Chul." Yeon Joo tried to sip her tea, but it was too hot, and she ended up setting it down again. "Soo Bong, I think where I went is inside W. I think Kang Chul is real."

Soo Bong nearly spat with amusement. "Wow, wow. This is a new level of trolling, even for the manhwa industry. Well-played."

"It's not a joke. I had a man's blood on my hands because he was dying."

"That's impossible," he laughed. "I draw Kang Chul. I mess around with lines until he's right. I mean, mostly I just do some inking and the tones on his clothing, but still. I get the crush, I have a crush on Kang Chul myself, but he's still just a manhwa character."

"When I sat down here, he was dying on the screen. Then I was there, in that picture, with him dying."

Soo Bong put down his cup with a rattle.

"Soo Bong, is Dad killing off Kang Chul? I knew he was working on the last volume, but what was the ending going to be?"

"I...I can't tell you. He'll fire me."

"Soo Bong, this is serious. Even if nothing else is true, think of how my dad's been acting and how worried we are. What is he planning to do?"

"He...he keeps trying to figure out a way. Yes. Kang Chul is going to die."

"Have you seen the webtoon lately?"

"We haven't posted anything this week. We're supposed to turn it in today, but I don't know if we'll make it in time--"

Yeon Joo stood, and got on one of the assistant's computers, bringing up the webtoon page.

"Wait. What is this?" Soo Bong burst out. "We didn't do these pages."

"Look more closely."

And there it was, rendered in 2D; bleeding, dying Chul. A mystery woman saving him, the art slightly screening the grisly details from view, despite suggesting it.

"Yeon Joo," said Soo Bong, "is this you?"

"Yes."

He scrolled down. "That was really blood?"

"Yes."

He scrolled up and down a few times, then dropped back in his chair. After a moment he scrubbed his face, removed his glasses restively.

"You were in the comic."

"Yes."

"This is crazy, you know that. This is absolutely insane." He seemed struck by a staggering thought, and said, "You mean...Master Oh, too? When he disappeared it was into the manhwa?"

This thought suddenly hit her hard, square in the chest. She couldn't bring herself to say it--she could only wonder. What had he been doing there?

Soo Bong leaned forward compulsively and began scrolling down again, then said, "Oh? Your dad must be up, he's sending panels."

He clicked on the message, and Yeon Joo leaned over his shoulder to look at it, too. Her father was still trying to kill Kang Chul, she realized. In the picture, a mysterious nurse appeared with a syringe. As Yeon Joo read the label, she burst out, "No! No, I will not be party to this."

And she ran toward her dad's work room, but as she burst in the door--she found herself in a hospital room instead.

Just as in the picture, a nurse was bent over Kang Chul's IV drip, while Do Yoon and Kang Chul ignored her. The nurse dropped the syringe, startled, and Yeon Joo pounced on it. She looked up to find Kang Chul and Seo Do Yoon staring at her, and lamely said, "It's potassium. She's trying to poison you."

Seo Do Yoon sprang into action, literally vaulting over the bed to get the nurse's hands behind her back--but the poor woman started crying. She didn't resist at all, and though Yeon Joo appreciated the athleticism, such heroics seemed a little excessive. The man was not subtle, that's for sure.

"Oh Yeon Joo?" asked Kang Chul, with the strangest calm. "I've been waiting for you to show up again."

There were guards outside, who at the ruckus came in, taking Seo Do Yoon's captive from him. Seo Do Yoon immediately got on his cellphone, saying to whoever he called, "You'll want to come back up. She's here with us."

Yoon So Hee, Yeon Joo realized, still on her way out of the building.

Then, as she meekly handed the syringe over to Seo Do Yoon as evidence, it hit her again that she was looking at a manhwa character.

In the flesh, Seo Doo Yoon was a little stockier than she'd realized, though not heavy on his feet. With gold in the brown of his eyes. Looking like he shaved carefully, but still had a five-o-clock shadow at three.

The hospital room was like nothing she'd ever seen in her career in medicine, more similar to a ritzy living room that just happened to have a hospital bed.

And last, Kang Chul.

In the manhwa the only change in his look over the years had been a slight sharpening of her father's style, and the way he was dressed, his haircut. But here she saw that he had--well, an age. Not an older one than he was supposed to have. In fact, for 30 he looked incredibly pretty. But there were slight creases at the corners of his mouth, and a stubble over his chin, and his eyes had a hard assessing cast no drawing could convey when he smiled in such a friendly way.

Something that had been clenched in her--like a knot in her belly--softened as she saw him, alive after all.

And then even her knees seemed to be going soft, and she helped herself to the chair where Seo Do Yoon had been sitting, facing Kang Chul.

"Are you alright?" Kang Chul asked, sounding more curious than concerned.

"I'm sorry I had to disappear on you like that before," she said, when the dizziness faded.

"Do Yoon, leave us a moment?" Kang Chul asked.

"So Hee is on her way up now," Do Yoon reminded him.

"So Hee is here," the ever-chic woman said herself.

The clothes Yoon So Hee wore were splashy, in a graphic design sort of way, but not like doll clothes. Just very sleek, bold white traced in black, and a satiny purple blouse. Yeon Joo was aware, for a moment, of her errands-day outfit of cotton capris and venerable tee shirt.

"I assume the police are on their way, too?" Yoon So Hee added.

"No," Kang Chul contradicted. "You know that our investigations only get bogged down if they get first crack at it. Ms. Oh Yeon Joo, are you willing to answer some questions for us?"

"No," Yeon Joo said. She just couldn't.

There was a distinct moment of pin-drop quiet in the room. So Hee's narrowed eyes were more intense in real life, too. There was a fullness to her Yeon Joo realized her father hadn't tried to get across.

How was that possible? That there was more to these characters, but they still matched so closely with her own impressions?

"It's no wonder the police didn't find her," said Yoon So Hee, with a sudden grin. "You gave terrible information, Chul. 'Had a housewife vibe', you said."

"To be fair," Yeon Joo said, "I was wearing my glasses last night."

"It must have been the pain, obscuring my vision. You are a lovely woman," Kang Chul said.

"Oh come on, you always say that to random people."

There was a disturbed silence. Kang Chul was known for empty flattery of women who he didn't care about. He was only tough on So Hee, which was part of why the fans were so sure they'd be together eventually. But of course, she shouldn't have known that, having only met him once.

"The famous charm of Kang Chul, media mogul," she said, trying for damage control.

"Nice to know my reputation is for charm," Kang Chul said. "Can I speak with her alone? I know she isn't in league with whoever hurt me."

"She has an uncanny knack for showing up during close calls," said Yoon So Hee.

"Exactly," said Kang Chul.

Yoon So Hee sighed, Seo Do Yoon shrugged, and there was so much heavy history in the room that Yeon Joo was surprised to have not faded into the curtains before they left.

[iamafreakofsexuallust-blog]

as i sit herr smoke my beautiful clr.. this pops into my mind : as i sit and as each cloud i blow i see myself wearing a small little dress..prefer it to black or purple..therrs a huge circle within my reach..as i walk over to it..i see sumtin that catches my eye so as i slowly start to bend over..i lose my footing and end up bracing myself on my knees and hands.. as i look around for what made me fall was a shard..now as i slowly start to breaks it up..i see in thr corner of my eye other figures start to encircle where i am.. i can see stroking cocks , rubbing clits.. and i can hear em chanting.. pull her parties down as to my realization i forgot i was wearing pink and blue heart panties.. now 3 figures start come into my view..as i slowly start to melt the shard..there to my left is a huge meth bong with many hoses attached.. well at least i thought they were hoses.. i took 5 massive hits til i felt my panties start ti slide down and over my hips and over my thighs..i feel tingles throughout my entire body..as i consume the smoke i can feel the closeness gettin tighter..i have a long tongue trinkling down over my wanting ass..as i can feel a pair of lips engulfing my cock..then i heard em say smoke all you want becyz every bowl will consist of 2 cocks n a pait if hands..

( dayum i was thinking i love to smoje , plus im a bit if a freak too)

I culd feel a long but slow thickness sliding in between my folds of my ass crack..i closed my ryes as the bowl was.comin to a near..then i relized i had a cock in my tight ass as he griped onto my love handles thrusted forward i felt a warm sensation on my cock she was beautiful.so the guy behind was straddling her while prnatrating me furthermore..as i opend my eyes i have a 9' cock partng my lips to engulf the sweetness..i herd the group all arpund chantting " fuck him " " fuck him hard " & they said.. " fuck him like he's sissy gurl" . My cock got so hard that the man behund came so fast that i jerked and took thr 9' in ftont of me..as she continued to milk me..as she started to syck faster i wanted to finish the bowl so i culd recoup while they filled the bext bowl and so the next 3 ir 4 cocks culd line up.. I've never had anything bigger than 9' but i do dream of 10' but they must be cut.plus..my dream fantasy of all time is to be in a ring of cocks n dildoes or straps..i would like to be the sissygurl in the middle if 10 of y'all taking turns piunding my ass, pulling my head into your warm meat..letting you have your way with me ( as long as you can feed me clr) now as wearing the lil dress..i have worn nylins before , i have put on my ex gf panties before ( i get super hard) i have even worn her bras ( withput knowing ofc).

but on the serious note..if there wqs ever a chance than i could fulfill my fantasy that would be the bestest sex ever.

meth is a guarantee that this will work..now i have had my prostate mlked before..i have had anal sex before and i really love it. toys i have used..but mulitple cocks i have not tried.i truly belueve i can take one from both ends.. i would love to wear a lingerie outfit to see how it makes me feel all around..black or purple with pink and blue hearts for panties..i want to be un the middle of a cock sandwich at least once.. now ive been with 3 ffm..and i have been with a tg.which i rrally enjoyed being a bottomed, as you probably culd tell that i want to ravished..i will eat, swallow , stroke, fondled & engulf as many cocks as i can..plus i would like to try 2 cocks up my ass while i have a cock in each hand incldin one in my throat.so thats 5 cockd at once.( one sec gyna hit tbe pipa again )

As s1 is dwindling my cock..i know i want to cum..but i want to have a screaming orgasm!!!

I would also like to know how it feels to be your sex slave..( now remember you still must allow me to smoke and no bigger than 10')

I love BBC that would fucking hurt but i would still love to try.. Plus i would like to try latex...u can cover up my mouth and take turns drilling my boipussy. so basically

if u have enough meth to keep me fucking high for 72hrs in a row..you csn fuck every which way plus u can call me ur sex slave ur bitch your cum dumpster..i am writing to let everyone know.that i am totally a freak and will try jt all uf u allow me too...

Now uf u happen to have a outfit already..then you can help me get into it..and RIP INTO ME!! im looking for no bears..u cant be more muscular than the next guy, u kant be heavy ( like 275,nope). no hair on ur chest..thin or thick cocks allowed. if ur a ts, tg or a tv then bring sum toys.. Males bring ur cocks hands n alot of meth..cuz ive been in tbe mood for a long time, plus goin on 3yrs w/o a fem.i am bi, 46 yrs old...avg body... anything else u kan msg me fo more info..so please dont hesitate..ik that alot of us horny muthafukas dont throw outselves on rhr choppin block so quickly but..im tired.if waiting or pussyfooting around thr convo.. if agroup of sum horny andbouncing cocks want to havr a quiet, relaxing sex party, especially with s1 who is willing to go forth but only with meth..i smoke it or eat it..i don't slammed ut...now if u want to butt rocket go ahead if u want to roofy me ( but u wouldnt have too) u culd.. nomore than 8-10 cocks in thr group..now if sum cum to watch..i gursd that's fine..but eventually they willhave to undress to either all nude or a pretty dress like me.silk feels good.on my body...

dayum what a image and a thought.. to be man-handled by multiple ppl at once.. to be your sex slave/sissy..u just need a place a bed perfer meth for me..and music and lots of cum

[imoverit]

Shit. I just can’t stop worrying about you. I just can’t. I try and I try but I just fucking can’t. I take a dump think of you. Mow the grass think of you. I Try and look at porn cuz yes without you here cuddling me I don’t have nobody to make love too and I’m human I need that companionship and release too but i can’t even do that right now cuz all I do is THINK OF YOU. I can’t help but think of you. EVERY WOMAN I SEE I COMPARE TOO YOU. And nobody else stacks up. I WILL NEVER FIND ANYBODY TO REPLACE YOU. Period EVER NEVER NEVER WILL I FIND SOMEONE TO REPLACE YOU!!! It’s impossible. One of a kind!! I pull out the few non nude pics of you and I start to cry and I can’t even do that afterwards. So it’s been a while. Yes I know you say your fine but I don’t believe you. I know you too well. I feel it. I feel yur not fine. Puttin on that fake smile for him and everyone else and go about yur day. Suffer in silence. Do you think about me??? Even once since well other than when you call or text. Do you think about me??? I just wanna talk. I won’t bite. Unless you want me to nibble yur thigh or hip bone. That’s all. Just talk. You know how our brains are. You don’t even wanna know what I’ve been thinking up since feb 2nd.

What the fuck happened to us babe??? Seriously. I’m embarrassed and ashamed of myself. What the fuck happened. Know what. We turned our life into a fuckin cry fest Sunday mini series. We really did. Just madness. Madness for you madness for me I’m just mad Bout you. Insane in the membrain. Seriously. Why can’t we even sit down and talk with out fighting. Obviously there’s passion there if something still bothers you. That’s called caring and love. There isn’t nothing been done yet that we can’t look back in in 60yrs and laugh at. How can you have a relationship with somebody you didn’t go thru your darkest DÖÖM with?? I fucking want the person that stood by my side during my bad times and mini doom, I want them by my side when I’m old and fat. Let’s burn 1. Let’s trip. I kinda tripped Monday and Tuesday. Dead heads but it wasn’t colors and shit it was just a relaxing happy but yet very sad. I cried for 5hrs monday night. That’s all we need to do is go party together as friends. Let’s at least burn 1 and talk we’ll I wanna talk first and Cuz I need to talk the most. I’m borderlined 3NORTH material right now. I just. It’s just

This jumps around A lot cuz you know how I get I kinda feel like this but tryin I don’t want the chance of us never talking or seeing each nother EVER AGAIN so I kinda don’t want too but I’ll wait for you if I have too. I’m not gonna even try to get another relationship. I’m done unless you come back. If I need laid THAT bad I’ll hire a prostitute or something. And at that I’ll just thinking you so it wouldn’t even happen cuz then I’d feel like I was cheating. But I feel if I did hook up with a chick let’s say right now and then tomarrow you just showed up out the blue wanting me back, I feel you’d hold a 1 night stand against me when all I did(didn’t do this is hypothetical) was get laid to get rid of all this stress from the last 4-6mths. I really feel you’d hold that against me but you wouldn’t even consider you did the same thing except move him in. I know he’s living there. Remember we was gonna have him as a house mate to pay rent. Good thing we didn’t. I actually kinda feel you was talking to him since summer 2019 behind my back. After the day he called and I said just please tell him to jot call so late what if she was sleepin and all he wanted to know was “if he was good looking or an ugly dood” cuz his buddy was about to have. 3some for the night!! And I feel that’s why you didn’t tell me bye password to Mylar phone lock after hotel work. Sorry. Thinking too much. You know how it is. But when everything now makes sense. And I kinda feel you wanted me gone a year ago. Last summer. I just feel something and I don’t know what it is. Somethings not right with you. Please talk to me. Well I kinda feel like this but don’t want it to happen cuz if I never see you smell my up or taste you again I don’t know what I’ll do. I’m in love with you BABE!!!

Well since you been in bondage your whole life and people have shit on you your whole life and you never got to experienc life. So Go have some fun. Please be safe. I just want you back ASAP!!!! We Dont fucking end like this. My best friend is yur ghost for christ sakes. Like holly wood couldn’t of made up our story. And god dammit I want 57-77-107 years not only 7, don’t even say or think it. 7 years!!!! Can I have a cherry blossom seed if you still gottem!! This isn’t how our story goes. We’re not one of those couples. There’s something more. Something else. I just know you feel it. I just want you to remember who WILL(DID always will) PREPARE YOUR COFFEE EVERYDAY and make the bed for you EVERYNIGHT!!!! Hand made cards. I don’t have nobody to make cards for anymore😭. I just want MY WOMAN BACK. No bullshit. No FEAR. NO ANGER. NO HATE. CLEAN SLATE and at least try to be friends again. But I don’t see how that ever could be if we don’t ever talk or see each other. If you got a man, he’s not gonna appreciate us texting, even non sexual cuz I want a lovie relationship with you. I don’t want some other man with my woman. I still say he’s a pos. If you “talked” to him and he said any of the following. Run.

But you are beautiful.

You deserve better

He don’t deserve such a beautiful loving caring woman like you. I can see a one night stand when a couple breaks up and whatnot but then if they each keep coming back somethings there. Now if one totally ditches the other after “ the whole 9 yards I’m legit IN LOVE WITH YOU ALL OVER AGAIN and refuses to give the other closure so they can move on and you wouldn’t even of told me about him if I hadn’t of blown up. How long would you been texting me I love yous. And it’s period week!! I know he smells me 10 miles away. Come on woman. I LOVE YOU. Nothing you could do could make me look at you any different. As in. You got boy toy today. You come talk to me. We could end up making love even if you do got a man. I ain’t down for that shit but my woman!!!! That’s different!!! So if he NEVER TOLD YOU TO COME TALK TO ME WHEN YOU WENT TO TALK AS A FRIEND THEN HES A PIECE OF SHIT TOOK ADVANTAGE OF THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SOUL IVE EVER MET WHO WAS VENERABLE when she was expressing her love for me. He’s a piece of shit. I know who it is. I’m not stupid. I just wanna know how long you was talking to him behind my back?? Before hotel job? Before winter??? Before I moved back in after we went to the Easter egg hunt???? I just miss you and want you safely back in my arms ASAP!!!! I Turly do love you babe. Like the real you who we both don’t even fully know yet. You’ve never had a chance to be YOU YOU. But I know what’s in there and this isn’t you. How we ended is my ex wife situation type shit and you ARE NOT THAT KIND OF PERSON!!!!!! I KNOW YOU AINT!!!!! Am I wrong or hit nail on head??? If your huffy I hit nail on head. Please come see me. I got the Michelob bong still!! Please at least just talk as friends. I won’t even try relationship even tho it kinda goes hand in hand with the situation but I won’t try no funny business!!!! I promise

[lmhyunsik]

Hi! You seem to be a person who have seen a lot of kdramas. I was wondering if you could list your top 10/5/whatever of best dramas with kidols as actors? Many thanks in advance

hello!!! your assessment is correct lmao i had a huge presentation this morning at work and ofc i stayed up until 4am watching 11 episodes of a new drama so... anyway thank you for asking!!! here we go!

REPLY 1997 - the first of the reply series and SO GOOD!!! the idols in this show are eunji (apink), hoya (infinite), and seo in guk. amazing writing and acting and a really wholesome story overall

side note on seo in guk: tho i would really consider him an actor more than an idol now, it was his first big drama and he could be considered an idol.. side note, all his dramas are PHENOMENAL

CHEER UP/SASSY GO GO - a really cute high school drama w/ some more serious themes in it as well - eunji again and N (vixx) have the most adorable friendship

GOBLIN - obv im biased because yook sungjae owns my Entire Heart And a Half!!!!! but goblin was obv a phenomenon and a pretty good drama, i personally (and most ppl would prob agree) found the romance between the 2 leads pretty wrong but everything else about the show was really awesome and worth watching for

I REMEMBER YOU - another seo in guk drama and one of my top 3 dramas of all time, but the other idol in this is d.o (exo) and his acting is top notch

LET’S FIGHT GHOST - super underrated!! this was one of my faves from last year because it’s actually realllly funny and the chemistry between the leads is so great. stars taecyeon (2pm)

STRONG WOMAN DO BONG SOON - obvious answer because park hyungsik is a babe and a great actor. all around a really cute show, although a lot of it is filler that i skipped through, the rest is really good lol

SCHOOL 2017 - the only one of the school series ive watched and sejeong (ioi) is SOOO precious. also guest stars rowoon from sf9! i really loved the writing and casting of this drama, it’s wonderful.

before someone @s me for not having seen school 2015 because it has m’love sungjae (feel free to watch that too!!), i personally can’t bear the heartbreak of him being second lead, so i dont think i’ll ever bring myself to watching it lol. i know it’s one of the worst cases of SLS people get in dramas so no thank you :((

WHILE YOU WERE SLEEPING - just ended! stars suzy who tbh is normally not great, but she was actually so good in this, and i loved the plot, acting, and characters of this show. first time i actually had second lead syndrome and also liked the main lead, all 3 of their friendship is so wholesome! possible my fave show of 2018 so far

SHE WAS PRETTY - ok so the idol here is siwon (suju) who plays the second lead, and almost everyone i talk to loves his character and hates the main lead, but to be super honest i was WHIPPED for the main lead and couldn’t stand siwon’s character lmao. that being said i realllly love this show! 

AGE OF YOUTH SEASON 2 - there’s some guest starring from pentagon as a failing idol group which made me reallllly emo, they dont have a huge role so this answer is cheating but i love this show lol

disclaimer, obv watch age of youth season 1 first since they are continuous. both of these are SUCH amazing shows. they’re very non-typical kdramas

honorable mention: WEDNESDAY 3:30 - starring hongbin (vixx) - this is a mini drama but it’s super adorable if you want something short and sweet

[bugclub]

ALL THA QUESTIONS

it wouldn’t let me copy the numbers ;:) so here we go fellas

Who hurt you the most?geez idk maybe my dad altho in retrospect he was right and i was wrong but he said some really messed up stuff to me sometimes and he also was usually the reason i would ever c** my***f

Who have you hurt the most?probably my dad as well. i was fucked up as a teenager and i know it was hell for him

Who do you miss the most?no offense but my dad. i just rly miss ig how life use to be when i lived with him.

Who do you want out of your life the most?the bitches and freaks that send me anon hate. begone demons

Who had the biggest negative impact on you?the white trash xanax junkies i met in 2014.

Who do you wish you could be honest with?i suppose emilio. im not holding any secrets in but i dont tell him a lot of stuff like when my emotions are dangerously out of whack or im having a panic attack or anything like that. i think if i were more open about stuff like that we’d communicate better when im actually freaking out

Who have you harbored (any kind of!) secret feelings towards?hmm.. coworkers come to mind just cause sometimes i dont agree with things they say but i dont want to make working with them uncomfortable by saying anything. other than that just crushes from my past probably

Who would the world be better off without?donald trump, racists, rapists, heroin dealers, etc

Who do you wish you’d treated differently?grace…i use to not like her because someone was feeding me lies…im so sorry grace my beautiful raspberry girl

What was the worst day of your life?probably the day i woke up in a daze post being raped with all my money stolen from my car . or i suppose the day it actually happened

What’s your greatest fear?losing my mind

What’s your biggest insecurity?hmm…not sure. honestly im not very insecure like i know i have insecurities but nothing comes to mind immediately. i wouldnt know til im insecure about it

What’s your biggest regret?getting hooked on xanax

Describe your ideal world.boondock saints are in charge and they’re my best friends

Describe your personal hell.donald trump is in charge and my best friend is my bong rosalina

What’s a hopeless dream you’re still holding on to?damn idek, probably just that every day of my life i wish emilio and i would meet sooner than we did but obviously there’s no point in that

What’s the most embarrassed you’ve ever been?one time i let a girl borrow my phone in hs and her nosy ass went thru my shit and found…sensitive content. i was embarrassed for a long time. i only recently remembered this happened

What’s the angriest you’ve ever been?various evenings at my job at dominos. i fucking hate those bitches

What’s the saddest you’ve ever been?in the mental hospital

What’s the most scared you’ve ever been?this took me forever but it was DEFINITELY my bad trip. i thought i was dead lmao

What’s the most hopeless you’ve ever felt?probably also during that acid trip. i thought i was not coming out and this was it. it felt like real life was melting away and i was gonna be stuck in some blank universe alone. horrible. im gagging

What’s the most frantic you’ve ever felt?i dont really get frantic ever. im good at staying calm especially in dire times

What’s the best case scenario for your future?emilio and i get married and have a family. i dont really want or need anything else

What’s the worst case scenario for you future?i try heroin get really fucked up and die alone

What’s the most physical pain you’ve ever felt?the pain from the last time i punched a wall was ridiculous and came in big waves which was awful. utis can hurt a lot and im prone to those for some reason. when i had the flu my body ached like ive never felt

What’s the most emotional pain you’ve ever felt?i dont want to talk about this one

Describe a time you felt like a hypocrite.i dunno.

Describe a time you felt like a traitor.obviously getting with emilio at first…but ik its not actually that messed up now so 💁 irrelevant

Describe a time you felt like a hero.i dont know. i use to help out my junkie friends a lot

Describe a time you felt inhuman.almost always

Describe a time you felt like a failure.in fourth grade i got an f in math because i kept putting the plus sign on the wrong side of the problem and my teacher failed me on all my homework. no one was even mad at me but i couldn’t look anyone in the eye for days

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?i dont know..i use to spew out hate in like 2010-2012. i hate that

What are you proudest of?my relationship with emilio, our good dogs, my recovery (not rly done yet but so far so good)

What’s your relationship with your family like?good. weird and a little distant at time but good

What’s your relationship with religion like?non-existent

Talk about someone you’ve lost.eh.

Talk about someone who abandoned you.eh.

Talk about a desire you have that scares you.not sure this is a thing for me

What’s something you wish you were capable of?wish i had more motivation for things that could make my future better like college

What’s something you’re afraid that you’re capable of?not rly afraid of anything id do

Describe the kind of life you wish you’d been born into.mine was fine

Describe your worst heartbreak.i was subjected to things i shouldn’t have been because of bad timing. i wouldnt have wanted it any other way and things worked out

Describe your worst disappointment.not sure dont want to dig this deep rn

Have you ever taken a fall for someone?yes. and i still get shit on for a lot of it

Have you ever forced or let someone take a fall for you?i honestly dont think so. correct e if im wrong

Have you ever done serious physical harm to someone?never on purpose (so far)

Have you ever done serious emotional harm to someone?probably. my bad

Have you ever self-harmed?yes

Have you ever attempted suicide?yes

Have you ever stolen something?yes

Have you ever cheated on someone?no

Have you ever been cheated on?no

Have you ever taken revenge on someone?nah

Have you ever seriously considered killing somone?yes 😂 oops

Have you ever betrayed someone who trusted you?allegedly

Have you ever experienced something supernatural or unexplainable?yes

thanks 💝🍓

if anyone reads all tis i love you and urr one of my best friends

[ecotone99]

[RF] Passengers

I.

I opened my eyes to the sound of my phone. I turned to my nightstand and picked it up. You would think hearing the same series of beeps and buzzes throughout the day, every day, would eventually dull the excitement of the next notification, but the hope that the next one will bring me happiness with that message I’ve always been waiting for seems to be enough to keep me hooked. Text, from Jeff. “Did you hear anything about the new job? Tell me as soon as you find out!!” Email. “Dear Applicant!” it began. Glad they went out of their way to personalise this for me. “We are pleased to officially offer you the position of Vice President at our company! Below are the details of your offer, including our outstanding benefits, as well as the details of your relocation to San Diego.” This was it. The message I was hoping for. The message of happiness. 3 months of interviews and waiting had finally paid off. I had spent the last 5 years since college working my way up through different positions and companies to get to this point. Each new position I had had seemed like the “one” at the time, yet somehow they all eventually left me wanting more. How could I have let myself get fooled by these recruiters? Each with their promises of glory and purpose. Each ending the same. This time was different. This was a top position at a top firm, meaning money and perks. I would be in San Diego. The sun, the women, the beaches, the food. I had spent far too long surviving the winters in Chicago. How did it never bothered me when I was a kid? I’ve spent my whole life here, but only recently have the hard conditions been on my mind. This is something I could fix. Everything will be better.

II.

I was immediately struck by the energy of the bustle as I walked through the doors of the airport. Being surrounded by people in motion, each going their own way, but none as important as mine. Mine was the most life changing, and knowing that made me stand a little taller. I turned to face my parents, who insisted on parking the car and walking inside with me. “Well, I guess this is it” I said nervously. I knew an emotional moment was upon us, which I was not looking forward to. “Remember the golden rule” said my dad stoically as we shook hands. That’s it? Is he that indifferent to me leaving? Does he not actually care? “Oh, my boy” began my mom. This was going to be hard to stand through. She stopped herself from continuing as she felt the tears coming, so I went in for a hug. Better to get this over with as quickly as possible, and to save her from more pain. I pulled away and looked at her as she brought her hand over her mouth. She was always so protective over us. Always worrying. I deeply respected and cared about my parents, but I felt like they never understood my motives. They grew up in a different time, in poverty, on the farms in Eastern Europe, they couldn’t have understood what I was going through. This was my journey to success and happiness.

III.

“Boarding for flight A34 to San Diego will begin in 5 minutes” called the attendant. I glanced up from my ebook towards the gate as the crowd started to gather. I caught the stare of a little boy wearing a blue backpack and red cap holding his big sisters hand and gave him a half smile, which made him quickly turn towards her in embarrassment. If only he knew that he was in the best time of his life. Every step for him was an embraced unknown, not worrying if what’s coming next is good or bad. He acts purely on instinct, shaped by the teachings of his parents and by the experiences he’s lived. As he is led by instinct, we adults seem to be led by other forces. At what point have we traded the trust of this instinct for the trust of other people, like the “experts” in all areas we find online? Where this boy cries when he’s hungry, I’m forced to feel hunger at the time of day for the amount of calories given to me by the current fad diet. Where he reaches for the toy in the store that excites his curiosity, I reach for the newest smartphone to display on my belt so that others can see it. Would I not feel the same hunger as him if I simply waited for that feeling? Should I not reach for the things that excite my curiosity? Where else would our instinct lead us if we just let it? My phone buzzed with a text message. Without changing my glance my hand went right for my pocket. Haven’t I already recieved my life changing notification? Why am I still immediately reaching for my phone?

IV.

“Good evening!” said the flight attendant as I boarded the plane. “Hey” I replied as I walked past her. She was wearing a navy jacket and skirt, which did a good job of showing her figure, with her blonde hair tied in a not so neat bun. She did her smiling with her eyes more than with her mouth, which made me feel like I already had someone I could trust on this flight. I was hoping she would be working in my section. I continued walking through first class to make it to my seat, looking at the different characters who felt it was worth spending twice the amount of a regular ticket to arrive at the same place. One man in particular caught my eye, businessman rather, who already had his laptop out, phone up to his cheek, sprouting a sharp suit and glass of dark liquor. He seemed to be completely engulfed with what he was doing, using a voice anyone would deem as being an outdoor voice, smiling neither with his eyes nor mouth. “Ok, let’s go through the presentation again, we need to be completely prepared for this. Half million dollar account potential here.” he yelled. The word “million” attracted other nearby glances. Money, success, here it was. Half of the motivation for my move. What was it about this man, this image, that drew the attention of so many people? Watching this man yell at his laptop was like a form of entertainment, but was the businessman entertained? Not able to sit in peace, needing liquor to settle the stress of potentially botching a presentation with a prospective customer, always on the move. How many other people’s jobs depended on this presentation, on meeting sales quotas and revenue forecasts? This man was so focused on what he was doing, I doubt he noticed a single other soul on this flight. What a lonely man this must be.

V.

As I reached my seat, I hoisted my carry-on up into the compartment, felt my pocket to make sure I didn’t crush my cigarettes, and took my seat. I knew smoking wasn’t allowed on flights, but I wasn’t the biggest fan of flying, and for some reason just having my cigarettes on hand was comforting enough. I was beyond tired of everyone I knew telling me to stop smoking. Everyone knows smoking isn’t healthy, but this just wasn’t the right time for me to quit. I wasn’t ready. New city, new job, I needed them now more than ever. Once I became comfortable in my new life, then I’d stop. I plugged my headphones into my armrest and found a rock album I listened to as a teenager on the infotainment system. I had the aisle seat, and so far the other two seats in my trio were empty. I hoped it would stay that way so that I could lay down and have them all to myself. I sat there staring into space, getting into the music, when about halfway through the first song I saw red in my peripherals. It was that same boy from before, stopped in the aisle right in front of me. I saw hands on his shoulders and looked up, to see his father. I removed my right headphone. “We’ve got these two” he said. I stood up to let them through. The boy took an enthusiastic jump into the middle seat next to me, while the father was removing his own backpack to put under the seat in front of him. Unfortunately, the boy was still wearing his blue backpack when he got into his seat, crushing whatever little he fit in there. The father moved ever so calmly, removing his son’s backpack to put under the middle seat in front of him, not even giving a thought to see what broke inside. It was as if the boy was fueled off of his fathers energy, leaving him with none. Perhaps that’s why Chicago winters didn’t phase me at his age. Whatever energy I needed to ignore the cold I took from my parents, leaving me nothing but to enjoy the good parts and leaving them with worse winters than I’ve ever felt. Why am I blaming the weather for my source of unhappiness then, when it’s so much harder for others and yet they don’t leave? Is a never ending summer not the answer? I thought about Jeff and his text, always excited to hear what I’m doing. I thought about my mom, always so happy to see me every time I visit. When once I was drawing energy from her, is she now drawing energy from me? Do we not do that with each of our friends and family? Who then will I have in a never ending summer to draw from when the heat of the sun draws the energy from me?

VI.

Bing, Bong. I heard a faint voice mix with the song I had on. Normally the infotainment would mute on its own, but I guess I had a broken one. “...this is your Captain speaking. I would like to welcome you aboard our flight A34 to San Diego. Looks like we’ll have calm weather the entire way, so sit back, relax, and let us take care of you” said the voice. “Aye Aye, Captain!” said the boy next to me. Aye Aye, Captain. I was glad we wouldn’t be seeing any turbulence on the way. The crew took care of the other formalities, and we were in the air after a short while. I was back into my music when I felt a tap on my shoulder. Navy. I took my right headphone out again and saw the flight attendant from when I entered the plane. “Hello again” She said. “Would you like something to drink?”. “Oh, um, no thank you. I’m good.” I stuttered. “Well how would you know when you still have the other headphone in your left ear? There’s no way you can be listening to me and the music at the same time.” She said. “Sorry, you’re right” I said, as I took my other headphone out. “What’s your name?” she asked. “Nate. What’s yours?” I replied. “Beth. Nice to meet you Nate. Are you from San Diego?” she asked me. “No, I grew up in Chicago, but I’m moving there. Just got a new job, but I’ve been thinking maybe I’m doing it for the wrong reasons. After seeing that guy in first class, I’m not sure that life is for me.” I explained to her. “Oh ya?” she mocked. Her light-heartedness snapped me out of the deep thought I was in. She went on to explain “I’m sure you’ll figure it out, but you shouldn’t compare yourself to anyone else. We all have our assigned seat on this plane, you just need to make the best out of yours. Now, about that drink, I know exactly what you need. It’ll be a surprise.” She bent down out of sight to fetch something from the cart, poured it into a styrofoam cup, and handed it to me. I didn’t get a chance to see what she poured. “What is this?” I asked her. “The only way for you to really know is to try it for yourself” She said with a smirk. I looked down and took a sip. It was hot chocolate. I don’t remember a drink ever making me feel that warm. I turned back to thank her, but she was already making her way down the aisle.

VII.

Bing, Bong. With no music playing I was able to hear the Captain. “Ladies and Gentlemen, looks like we’ve run into a slight mechanical issue. Nothing to be alarmed about, but we will need to make an emergency landing in Denver. Unfortunately, we won’t be able to take off again, so all passengers will need to deboard. We’re terribly sorry for the inconvenience.” I looked down the aisle to see the business man throw his hands up in frustration, laptop still glowing. Past him was Beth, who met eyes with me, and gave me a smile and wave, which I returned. I sat back in my seat and closed my eyes.

VIII.

I awoke in a panic. I felt the sensation of the plane being in a nose dive. I didn’t know what was going on. I started looking around, and noticed everyone was in a panic, even the businessman. He was looking at the passengers around him for any sort of help. I guess this is what it took for him to notice them. Everyone, that is, except for an elderly man who was sitting in the seat just across the aisle from me. He had some playing cards thrown around his tray. He was looking back at me, smiling. What is wrong with this old man? Why is he just sitting there look at me? My mind was racing. My anger shifted from the old man to the Captain. Did the Captain fall asleep and forget about us? He said calm weather, that implies no turbulence. What is going on? The old man saw my anxiety and leaned closer. “There’s no use being angry unless you’re able to fly the plane yourself. And since you can’t, might as well be happy and join me in a game. The Captain knows what he’s doing.” At that moment the plane leveled out. Everyone slowly calmed down, while the old man started dealing the cards. That awful moment, which at the time felt like an eternity, was now a fleeting memory. During our game I thought back to my father’s words at the airport. Instead of emotion, he gave me the golden rule. He knew there was nothing within his power to stop me from leaving, just as this old man knew there was nothing we could do with the plane. If all we have in our control is the way we treat each other in the bad times, what else would we have in the good times?

IX.

The fasten seatbelt sign turned off as we pulled up to the gate in Denver. Everyone stood up and started collecting their bags. I was struck by the bustle of the passengers in motion, each going their own way, all as important as mine. Learning that made me stand a little taller. As I approached the exit, I saw the cockpit door open and the Captain sitting in his chair. He had turned to face the aisle, but the lower half of his face was blocked by his chair. As I walked past, I gave him a head nod, and I saw his eyes narrow in return. I stepped out into the jet bridge, feeling the cold air hit my face. I walked up to a garbage can just a few steps ahead of me, reached in my pocket, grabbed my cigarettes, and threw them in. I was not comfortable in life, and it felt good. It was a perfect time to stop. I continued down the bridge towards the terminal, every step an embraced unknown.

X.

I opened my eyes to the sound of my phone. I must have fallen asleep again. I turned to my nightstand to pick it up. Text, from Jeff. “Well??” Email. “Dear company” I began. “I regret to inform you that I will not be taking the position…”

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[injectionmoldchina]

New Post has been published on http://www.injectionmouldchina.com/nice-china-two-shot-plastic-parts-factory-photos/

Nice China Two Shot Plastic Parts Factory photos

Some cool china two shot plastic parts factory images:

A Ticket to Ride the TranSiberian

Image by Viewminder Cut off from the sea by the suspicious port authorities in Shanghai it seemed that the only way I was going to get out of China was overland. This was my ticket.

In Shanghai I had inquired of every traveler I met about the path ahead of me. I had heard tales of this magnificent and exotic railway adventure before… they called it the greatest railway journey on earth. The longest stretch of steel rail ever layed.

An Australian traveller named Mark told me that he had heard that there was a guy in Beijing who could get me a ticket.

I asked Mark how I could find this guy in Beijing. He said just go there and ask for ‘The Crocodile.’ Just go to a city of some ten million souls and ask for ‘The Crocodile’? It sounded almost insane to me.

Ditching Mark after he made moves on my Chinese girlfriend and ditching my Chinese girlfriend after she got all worked up when a soldier who was following me took a picture of us together on the riverfront… I understood her fear in that time of Tienenmen Square and I knew it was time once again to get moving. It was time to move north to Beijing… the city they once called Peking.

Tsu Tsu Mei was a nice girl. She had told me to call her Eleanor… because that was what she called her ‘American name.’ I couldn’t do it because she just didn’t look like an Eleanor to me… I always called her Tsu Tsu Mei. And I think that she really liked that I did… it would have been easier to call her Eleanor I’m sure… but each time I called her ‘Tsu Tsu Mei’ she gave me this look… it started with a big warm vulnerable smile that made it seem to me that she was melting inside with warm thoughts and shaking knees.

That look always made me want to scoop her up in my arms and give her the same feelings right back. Whenever I said her name and got that look… it just kind of summed everything up right there in that moment. I really liked that. Sometimes I wished that it had gone farther but the way it ended is why I have the memories I do… and I hope she does too… we never hurt each other… never not once… it was the hard and cold government of an opressive authoritarian regime that broke both of our hearts there in Shanghai. It wasn’t either of us… it wasn’t our fault.

I was with Mark the Australian when I met Tsu Tsu Mei… we were tooling around Shanghai and we had just gotten on the bus after a tour of the Shanghai Waterpipe Factory Number Seven where I had just purchased a fine example of a brass opium waterpipe. We had seen the place while riding the bus and jumped off… the factory was really happy to have foreigners tour the place. I couldn’t believe that there were at least six other water bong factories in Shanghai. Somehow we had found the seventh.

As foreigners we were pretty much used to talking in english right in front of people knowing full well that they couldn’t follow our conversation… especially the slang riddled prose we frequently used. When Tsu Tsu Mei got on the bus and stood next to me I turned to Mark and said "man she is the most beautiful Chinese woman I have ever seen."

Before Mark could agree… Tsu Tsu Mei let me know that she appreciated the compliment… she smiled and said "thank you" in perfect english.

Shocked that my subterfuge was exposed at first I was a little embarassed… until Mark took that half of a second to start in on her. No way I thought… I was the one who paid the compliment… I was going to be putting the moves on Tsu Tsu Mei. I’m not sure Australian guys understand the concept of a good ‘wing man’ but Mark sure had some learnin’ to do. He needed to watch the movie ‘Top Gun’ and take some notes.

Tsu Tsu Mei and I arranged to meet later that night in downtown Shanghai and proceeded to become great friends. She even took me to meet her parents… Norman Tsu… the first deaf technical drafting instructor in all of China and his ‘deaf wife Janie.’

Tsu Tsu Mei’s father Norman was sent to the United States to study technical drafting in the fifties. He went to Gaudellet University and he confided in me that he really liked it… that he didn’t want to come back to China… he stopped writing home and corresponding with the government… he wanted to drift away… but they corralled his mother who was a widow by this time… and they made her write Norman a letter that made it really clear that it was in her best interests that Norman return to China. That’s how China got its first deaf technical drafting instructor. Or how they got him back.

Norman always referred to his wife as ‘My deaf wife.’ Both of them were deaf and we passed notes to each other over a marvellous dinner… while Tsu tsu Mei just kept smiling at me and at her parents… unbelievable food Normans deaf wife cooked. It was a feast… and not the Chinese food I was used to… this was exotic and unknown to me. The Tsu’s really went out and they’ve been in my thoughts many times since then.

The Tsu family was really good to me and things were moving right along with Tsu Tsu Mei too until that soldier decided that he’d turn our little hand holding session on the Shanghai riverfrint into a Kodak moment. I had seen that guy following me before… he was the tallest Chinaman I’d ever seen… a full head above the rest of the general population. I found great amusement in shagging him… going into a store and going out the back door. It was really like a game. Still… he always found me… he was on me for days there in Shanghai. And after he took that picture I realized that my company with Tsu Tsu Mei wasn’t looked upon favorably by the authorities. She was terrified of the repurcussions. I knew that was it… I wasn’t going to get her or her family inot any trouble. I was going to get out of Shanghai.

I purchased a train ticket on a sleeper train for the seventeen hour ride from Shanghai to Beijing. How was it that I could go to a city the size of Beijing almost a thousand miles to the north and find this man called ‘The Crocodile’ simply by asking? It seemed completely insane… but such was the world I found myself in this year… for me, 1990 was the year of living insanely.

After seventeen hours of watching China slide by through the window accompanied by the soundtrack of nonstop kung fu videos on the train’s television sets, I stepped off the carriage in Beijing, China’s capital city. Which was a godsend because I could not have taken one more of those videos. The Chinese truly love them… they must be a part of their national identity… the way that the Japanese love Godzilla. Godzilla was a mechanism that helped the Japanese to cope with their loss of World War Two and the painful shock of getting Nuked twice. Even though Godzilla always stomps their cities to pieces they always triumph. It’s like a morality tale with them.

When I was living in Osaka someone who worked in the studio that made the Godzilla movies decided to borrow the costume and wear it to a party where he caused it to be damaged to the tune of a hundred and seventy five thousand dollars. I wish I was at that party. Hanging out with the Nigerians. That would have been epic.

The first european looking guy I saw in Beijing… I stopped him as was my custom in the orient and inquired of the conditions and opportunities there in this new city. Blonde hair in China or Japan had always meant ‘help desk’ to me. We vagabonds and adventurers always stuck together and usually became instant friends as long as there wasn’t a woman involved.

Then I asked him if he had ever heard of ‘The Crocodile.’

He said that he would take me to see him right now. Right then. Right there. Unbelievable. I’m not kidding. No shit. I couldn’t believe it either.

I had found ‘The Crocodile.’

The man walked me to a hotel a few blocks away from the railroad station. It was an old building that looked straight out of the 1920’s, like just about every other building in Beijing. You could see that it was really beautiful at one time… maybe even opulent or exclusive… but it, like anything else that was once beautiful or opulent, it seemed to fall into despair and decay under the custodianship of the communists. That was the way pretty much all of Beijing looked. With brown air and trees and bushes that were different from all those I had even known. I always notice the trees and bushes in a new city. Here on the other side of the world the plant life and the vegetation was odd to me… just unusual enough to stick out in my mind.

The man knocked on the door and we were answered by a nice looking blonde woman on her early twenties. She looked kind of pissed off but invited us in still. My guide just turned around and left with little more than a gesture to the woman. I followed her into the room.

It had become a bit of a self entertainment for me to wonder why the man I was seeking should be called "The Crocodile." It intrigued me from the moment I had heard it and in my mind I came up with all sorts of reasons for the nickname. None of them pleasant.

The room was an illustration in contrasts… inside "The Crocodile" had rented two rooms… he knocked down the wall that had seperated them and completely remolded it. This guy was livin’ cush. He sat on the edge of his bed playing with the tv remote control as if it had befuddled him… I could tell from body language that his girlfriend and he had just been fighting.

"The Crocodile" stood up and turned around to face me… the guy must have been six and a half feet tall… and immediately I could see why they called him "The Crocodile."

He wore these braces on his teeth… the largest mass of metal I’ve ever seen in a persons mouth. Communist braces aren’t very pretty… but these… "The Crocodiles" mouth looked like it had been installed by a blacksmith… an angry, drunken blacksmith. Like hammered bars of hot metal hand forged around each of his teeth.

I had to make myself stop staring as he got right down to business. Croc asked me when I wanted to leave… he said he had one ticket and he wanted a hundred and ten bucks American for it. There’d be no negotiating I could tell that right away. I had a feeling that if I tried that he’d have just relieved me of all my dough right there. Probably my gear too.

We were in a bit of a funny situation for a couple of reasons… I thought the ticket looked fake… it looked worse than some of the permits and passes I’d forged in school. I didn’t have a visa to enter Russia… and I didn’t carry that kind of currency in US dollars. I wasn’t too sure that the Russians would actually be too excited about me coming to their country either. When I expressed this to "The Crocodile" he laughed a powerful and boisterous laugh and told me not to worry about it… he’d just gimme the ticket on good faith… so I could try and get a visa and cash a travellers check or something to come up with the Dollars he wanted. Besides he said "I know where your seat is and when you’ll be leaving and if you fuck me I’ll kill you" after which he laughed another deep laugh and gave me a half hug. "I want my money by next week he said." and walked me to the door where he said goodbye and his girlfriend gave me another dirty look.

That was it. Absolutely fucking unbelievable. I’m in Beijing less than two hours and I found my guy and I got my ticket. Now I just needed a visa from the Soviet Consulate. He’d also tell me there if the ticket was real I figured.

But right now I needed a place to stay. That would have to be my first order of business. The Croc’s hotel seemed a little too luxurious for my budget… I needed something ‘dumpier.’ Something where my kind’d fit in you know?

I walked out of the hotel and on to the street… pausing for a moment to take a breath of the sulfery yellow tinged air and feel the pulse of the street there…a moment to let the vibe of it all sink in. I could have gone left or I could have gone right but it really didn’t matter because I had no idea where I was going anyway. It’s like a rule with me… like walking on the upwind side of the street because that’s where all the paper money blows. Go left.

My friend Joel… the guy who’d saved my ass from the knife weilding Yakuza that pressed certain death into my throat in that bar in Osaka… he told me that he went insane and that he would hear these voices in his head that always said the same thing… "look to the left Joel." If he wasn’t crazy already he said that those voices would do it… he never understood the meaning of it. Stupid voices in your head… they never tell you anything good… like "stay away from that one… she’s trouble." They’re always all cryptic. You gotta try to figure them out and break the code. Joel said the lithium they gave him pretty much shut the voices down. I never had heard voices though. It would probably be fun for a day or two… just to see what they would say. I think if I had voices they would sound like Vincent Price on LSD.

So I went left after I walked out of the Crocodile’s hotel. I usually always go left when I got no idea but this time I was especially glad I did.

I get about a block and right there smack dab… badda bing… I run into this guy I lived with in Osaka Japan… Mike Levine… a Jewish guy from Jersey. He had let me borrow a pair of his shoes because I could find any in my size in Japan. Mike’s got this big smile on his face as he sees me… we hug and slap each others backs and talk about the fight that got me thrown out of the university in Japan that we both went to.

Mike gave me directions to a suitably dumpy hotel and we parted ways.

Walking down the street I saw a couple of American girls… who turned out to be two really granola looking lesbian backpackers from Nebraska.

I stopped them there and asked them where they were staying… they said they had no idea… I invited them to share a hotel room with me if we could find one… plus the thought of girl on girl action sounded like really good fun to me. I felt like I was really going to like Beijing. It seemed like an easy city. Things were looking good.

Was this my lucky day or what?

Shit, I been here for like two hours… I already met the guy I came to meet, had a ticket for the Trans Siberian, hooked up with two lesbians and there we found a three dollar a night hotel. Six yuan a night for each of us. What more greatness could god bestow on me? Another lesbian? A blind supermodel? That would just be asking too much I thought. Lady Luck, I’ve always said, she was indeed a friend of mine.

Never look a gift horse in the mouth they say… so I unpacked my gear in the hotel room… every bit of it… and spread it all around. I always unpack fully so if I get robbed they can’t just take one bag and split… they gotta work for it… then I unscrew all the lightbulbs in the room so they gotta have a flashlight to do it well… and then I make some loud noise making booby trap… like a pyramid of empty beer cans behind the door… then they gotta have nerves of steel to finish the job. Never got robbed once. Never. I have come home more than a few times affected by some intoxicant or another and fallen vicim to my own booby traps though. It always scared the beejesus out of me.

The Nebraska lesbians unpacked too.

Time to get out of here… It was time to go have a look at Beijing.

I left the hotel in a hurry and jumped on the first bus I saw… it didn’t matter where the bus was going…I didn’t care… I was sure that I hadn’t been there anyway. That’s the great thing about exploring like that. A new city… just go anywhere. It’s all new.

Sitting on the bus I was of course the only westerner riding it. The Chinese weren’t as polite as the Japanese and they would just stare at you forever… sometimes with mouth agape even… and I found myself very much the center of attention… the center of attention was something I really didn’t want to be. I kinda wanted to blend in really. That was going to be tough.

I started having what could only be described as auditory hallucinations on that bus… that happened alot to me in China… but right there it was bad… the cacaphony of Chinese voices started to filter itself out in my hyperactive mind and become english… I could understand things sometimes… I was certain that people were commenting on how intoxicated I was… they all knew it… they were all talking about me… looking at me… ‘Is that American guy drunk out of his gourd or what?’ I had to get off that bus. The sweat was pouring from my pores. It was getting to be more than uncomfortable… it was unbearable.

The next stop was my stop no matter where it might be… soon as it stopped I jumped off that bus so fast… I didn’t even have a clue as to where I was… and I didn’t care. Away from that hash house hotel and off of that bus…I just wanted my own little piece of contraband free real estate where I could sit and watch China go by and make amusing comments in my head to entertain myself.

This was my stop.

Before me was layed an enormous plaza… I had never seen such a large paved public space. It was gigantic enough it looked like you could lay down and land a 747 in it if you went from one corner to the next. It was so big and vast that the smog of Beijing obscured the other side of it from me. I didn’t know what this place was, but it made me feel realy small… insignificant actually… which was precisely how I wanted to feel.

I stood at Tienenmen Square.

This was the old Beijing… the one that used to be before the extremely systematic exploitation of cheap labor turned the place into a giant pachinko parlor… this was the dirty, dusty and gritty beijing where products were pulled around on wagons by teams of horses who shit big piles in the streets that you’d go straight over the handlebars of your bicycle if you didn’t look where you were going. I’d seen it.

This was the Beijing where the streets seemed impossibly large considering no one really owned a car… the Beijing where the old people all wore those navy blue or black or gray kung fu outfits and walked around stooping with their hands clasped behind their backs as if some ultimate power had ordered them to for all time.

This was the square in Beijing where less than a year had passed since thousands of students took a chance to try and change their world… this was the Beijing where tanks had rolled over them without mercy and their bodies were torn apart by the callousness of lead flying around at ballisticly high speeds and cruel random trajectories. This was the Beijing where their blood ran like rivers down the curbs and into the sewers where like the extinguishing of their tender lives for naught all was soon forgotten by a world more infatuated with its demand for cheap consumer electronics in attractive clamshell packaging.

The one year anniversary of the slaughter was approaching and here as if by accident I find myself in the place where history was made and so conveniently forgotten.

Here and there I could still see bullet scars, burns and other marks that told the tale of a failed movement killed in a single night of murderous debauchery.

It was eerie in Beijing. I couldn’t put my finger on it. Was it just the intoxicant’s influence? I couldn’t place it until I found a nice grassy place to sit down and let everything stabilize. Let my altered mind stop spinning.

The young people were all gone.

The government had sent what looked like the entire youth of the capitol city to ‘summer camp,’ where they’d sing patriotic songs and watch lots of motivational films and learn the error of their ways. It was re-education for the entire young population… there was almost no one walking around that city bettween the age of fourteen and twenty one. It was spooky… strange mojo in a strange land. Like some kind of Twilight Zone episode.

Everybody’s seen the picture of ‘Tank Man,’ that guy whose name the world doesn’t know… the one who was walking home from the grocery store with a couple of plastic bags in his hands… the guy who became a lonely human roadblock for a column of tanks… I know I could never forget that guy… he had balls the size of watermelons that one. I woudda love to have bought that guy a drink or eight.

I was walking down that street and a momentary sense of deja vu made me stop… It felt like I’d been there before… it didn’t take too long for the reality to hit me… I was standing in that spot. In the Tank Man’s spot. The premonition came from looking at that photograph.

There was a pay phone there… on the side of the street… you can see it in the Tank Man picture… I thought my parents might like to know where in the world I was so I tried to call them from it without luck. Maybe they’d think it was cool that I was calling them from there I thought.

I wanted to feel the scene out… I wanted to let it all sink in a little bit so I sat down and I had a look around. It all began to unfold in my mind… the direction the tanks came from… the sounds they’d make… their squeaking tracks rolling on the asphalt echoing in the canyon of concrete buildings… I could see the crosswalk he was walking across when it happened.

I stood up, still painting the scene on the canvas of my mind with the brushes of my imagination and I walked towards the crosswalk… just as he did that remarkable day.

Man… sometimes even I have a hard time putting things into words… sometimes feelings, emotions and perceptions are just too powerful and swift to get a grasp on.

Surveying the scene where this historic collision happened from the street… it was so much different than the picture we all know… that was shot from high above… it’s got a whole different tone than the lonliness and isolation that the street level offered. Just like in the square where I had felt so small… even the street there was massive in width… one of those subcompact cars flying through the smog could have crushed me like a bug. The thought of standing my ground in front of a column of many ton armored tanks with their diesel engines shaking and belching thick black smoke and rumbling in anger… I’ll tell you this… with the greatest respect that I can muster… that guy… at that moment… he took on the entire world. He was a bad ass motherfucker who said ‘hey… I don’t like what’s going down here.’ and he backed it up with his hundred and fifty pound body alone in the streets. He never even put those grocery bags down. But for a moment, that man stopped the world. He stood his ground. He stood our ground. He stood for everyman that day.

I didn’t.

I didn’t even chance stopping where he did. I didn’t want to stop a bus.

When I got across the street I walked back towards Tienenmen Square wondering what happened to the guy.

These thoughts were crisply punctuated when I found the remains of a completely flattened bicycle. It had been run over by something pretty heavy because it was as flat as a bicycle could conceivably become. It even had a curve to it… a lot of parts were gone but the frame, the handlebars, even the rims were crushed flat. I picked it up, still thinking about Tank Man and I realized what it meant.

Something inside me wanted to take it home… to show my people… people born and raised with a freedom fought for by others… I wanted to show them what we pretty much let happen here… the great crime that we ignored. It was a strong symbol to me at least of an oppresive government that lost it’s temper on it’s own people.

I’d never get that flattened bicycle home, but I carried stashed inside the tubes of my backpack messages that people had asked me to carry out of the country to a place where mistakenly so they thought good and decent people might give two shits about the treachery bestowed upon them in their quest for what we have but could really care less about. A freedom so strong… a freedom so deep that it was a part of me wether I was conscious about it or not… a freedom that formed the person I was and carried me on a long and mostly accidental journey to a place where youth was cut short for having the audacity and lack of patience to demand a more tolerant society where people would count for just a little more than cheap labor.

I promised myself I’d remember what happened to them. I promised myself that on June 4th, 1990 that I’d say a prayer there in Tienenmen Square. I’d recognize their martyrdom to the cause of freedom and I’d pay my respects on the anniversary of the barbarism of their all powerful and vicious central authority.

When that morning came with its sultry brownish orange sunrise, three hundred and sixty five days after the blood letting, when the flag of a nation was raised over it’s most proud square… I was the only person that wasn’t Chinese standing there as a witness to at least offer the the quiet contempt of my heart and the objection of my soul as a counterbalance to the disgrace of the murder of these children.

There were no television cameras or satellite trucks… no journalists fixing their hair or taking notes on those long pads that they carry. Nothing.

I carried no sign or banner… I spoke no message of objection. I sought to instigate nothing.

I stood there in Tienenmen Square as a witness.

A witness to what the rest of the free world was so selfishly quick to forget.

Two days later I’d board a train that I’d get off of in another world… where a wall that represented hate and anger and mistrust would be falling, hacked to pieces bit by bit by a people celebrating a new freedom and unity.

[skiasurveys]

if you could have sex with any celebrity right now, who would it be? well he aint a celeb but an youtuber since i dont like celebrities..so maybe markiplier? if you had to have sex with one of your best friends who would it be? all of em ;) ever fallen in love with a friend?  well they all start off as friends did you end up getting together or not? nobody specif i mean my current bf and i were friends for  little while before we officalized it but it wasnt like we were just friends. ive never dated anyone where we were friends for a while then started to date.

if yes, how did you end up together? if no, why not? ^

have you ever been the other woman? No. we all have that one song that gets us pumped, what’s yours? i hate these questions cus i forget every song i know have you ever been to prom? did you have a good time? well we dont have prom in canada, well where i live but we did have a grad dance but i didnt go. But how my grad worked was we all got to dress up in nice dresses/tuxs for the dinner. so thats what i did. don’t you just hate it when someone is a boring texter? yES. usually i try to make a conversation.if they dont add i just stop texting. ever let someone use you knowing they were using you? Yep how many people have you slept with (sexually not actually sleeping)? one. how many of them were you actually in love with? one ever taken someone’s virginity? No. would you ever want to be with a virgin? if no, why not? no actually lol favorite song lyrics? i have lots but im too tired to think of em. do you constantly find yourself internet stalking your ex? no but sometimes i check their fb but like once in a blue moon. i dont care. if yes, how many times a day on average do you find yourself doing this? like i said, once in a blue moon. usually if im thinkin about them or something but last tme i checked was months ago cus i saw he got a new gf and i wanted to see what she looked like. and no not to be a dick either. so like, what’s your zodiac sign? Sagittarius 

what’s your favorite item of clothing you have & why? eh, nothing really. im bored of my clothes atm im in a desperate need to shop.. do you have anything to hide? my emotions are you friends with any of your exes? eh. not really. my one ex who always talked to me stopped texting me, thak fucking god it was so annoying.

given the chance would you take any of your exes back? No. do you have an addiction? to what? my phone do you like being taken or single more & why? taken. its just who i am i guess. i just like knowing i have someone there who i can be myself with and have a romantic relationship with.

being loud & obnoxious is fun huh? nope. do you feel like you’re sorta split personality? half & half? not really. I am just myself with people im comfortable with and then i have my professional self with work.etc lol do you act like your own gender or more like the opposite sex? wtf.. do you have more friends of the same sex or opposite? its kind of half and half.

blunts, bowls or bongs? eh. i smoked weed like 5 times soo.. favorite sexual position? idk. the one where he puts his dick in me

3 traits your dream partner would have? funny, loyal, empathetic  do you really care what people think of you? Yes when you have a fight with your partner what do you do? usually get worried that they might leave me cus im an insecure piece of shit, but we havent had a really bad fight, theres just been times where he is a dick. holiday closest to your birthday? christmas. scenario time.. you have a wedgie in public, you… fill in the blank. go to the wash room and fix who does the grocery shopping in your house? mom

are your parents still together? if no, do you wish they were? they would be if my dad didn’t die. have any siblings you know of but don’t actually know personally? no

greatest fear? losing someone i love again and suffocation something most people fear that you do not fear at all? spiders don’t you hate getting nice & comfy & then having to pee? yea  what do you think of porn & the people who watch it? i mean whatever, watch whatever but i just hate people who think that alot of the things they do in porn is normal.  (like rape play, hardcore bdsm..etc) when your friends mention you in fb statuses & tweets do you get happy? yeah how much does it really take to get you mad? not that much. would you date someone that your parents & friends didn’t approve of? depends do you have any regrets? Yes. are you always the one to apologize even if it’s not your fault? Yes ever lost friends because of a certain guy or girl? nope. ever used a legit sex toy before? nah never bought one before. ever questioned your sexuality? not really ever thought you were pregnant? one time i didnt get my period at all and it was 3 weeks late and i took 3 test and i wasnt pregnant but i was still freaking out and then i lightly spotted for a week..and then i didnt get my period til he next month, that was scary. ever faked being pregnant? who does this favorite song at the moment?  nothing ever had a major surgery performed on you? one do you actually like school lunches? the ones in high school were actuallly good. do you think you’re a boring person? no but i can be do you think you’re more or less a good person? i think  im a good person which of the 7 deadly sins are you guilty of? envy ever made a survey & then taken it yourself? yeah i did once haha do you think it’s possible to dislike all music?  some people just dont like music i guess. i think theyre crazy. what’s one thing you think everyone has in common? we all have to breathe oxygen. do you believe that there’s actually good in EVERYONE? well we all start good but it all depends during the age development.. what’s one thing that bothers you that probably wouldn’t bother most people?  need to  have tv on a even number of sound level do you believe in forever? no how many relationships have you been in? 4 including the one i am in do you ever want to get married? why or why not? I do. Because i want to lol do you believe in divorce? well i mean some people just cant stay married.

is there a song you can’t listen to without thinking of someone? Yeah. do you think a lot of the surveys on here are too alike? sometimes they all ask the same question how are you feeling right now? decent do you like being called babe, baby, hunnie, etc? I do like baby/babe but only from my boyfriend have you ever thought etc was actually ect? no do you have any sort of ongoing health problem? i dont think so

ever lost someone close to you? Yes my dad died ever been hit by a motor vehicle? actually yeah. when i was 8 i was hit by a car on my way to school lol can you play a musical instrument? I cant do you wish you did? I wish i wouldve joined band tbh

are you able to speak fluently in more than one language? No. ever self harmed in any way? Yes. do you prefer longer or shorter surveys? Medium to long. what is one word you just cannot pronounce? specific  if you could look like any celebrity who would you look like? Hmmmmmmm ever wish you were of the opposite sex? No. don’t you just love fun people? i guess. i just hate people who ALWAYS wanna do shit especially when youre tired and they almost force you to go out. is there that one person who you just CAN NOT seem to get over? no one currently so what’s your dream job? animator someone you can’t see yourself being able to live without? My boyfriend best & most favorite video game (pc or console) ever?  hmmm. depends. I really love Kingdom Hearts 2, or even Elder scrolls online but My fav game ever is The Last of Us  would you ever tattoo someone’s name on you? maybe my dads name but not really when people sing happy birthday to you do you feel awkward or happy? It’s so awkward. favorite thing about being in a relationship? having someone be there for you..and cuddles and oh sex favorite thing about being single? the freedom i guess? not having to worry about someone else, or worry about getting texts back lol ad also you can kind of go out and not worry if youre flirting idk. I hate when im talking to another guy and im afraid im leading them on, especially when im not. ever been hurt by someone you thought would never hurt you? Yes. don’t you hate it when people in relationships act single? it annoys me. Like whats the point of hiding shit? so is your hair dyed? Yep. but fading back sex is really good isn’t it? It sure is ever had a friends with benefits? no do you like trains :)? uhmmm do you think you have a pretty good singing voice? Nope. how about dancing, are you a good dancer? I am white. is intelligence a turn on for you? It’s good. i hate stupid guys lol do you like to feel powerful & in charge? No capricorns are the best aren’t they? I don’t believe in astrology. <--- same are you afraid to stand out? just a little.