#i think i used to follow ur writing religiously when i was still active on this site

[batmansymbol]

hi riley! read this recently and would love to get ur perspective on this as a YA author https://tinyletter.com/misshelved/letters/did-twitter-break-ya-misshelved-6

hi anon! yeah, i read this the day it was posted. thoughts/supplementary essay below.

firstly, i'd put a big "I AGREE" stamp across this essay. i think it's well-cited and thoughtful, and i agree with pretty much everything in it. i especially appreciate it for introducing me to the terms "context collapse" and "morally motivated networked harassment" - seeing internet sociology studied and labeled is ... odd, but useful.

i left twitter in 2017, but i keep an eye on things, which seem similar now to the way they were four years ago. the essay describes the never-ending scrutiny, the need to seem perfect, and the pressure on writers to out themselves. all of that is spot-on. twitter is an outing machine. there is so much harassment and anger on the platform that in serious conversations, good-faith engagement becomes something that must be earned, rather than something that's expected. and in order to earn good faith, strangers expect you to offer up an all-access pass to who you are. otherwise, things might take a swift left turn into verbal abuse.

obviously twitter is a cesspit of harassment from racist, homophobic, and transphobic people, but i think the most painful harassment comes from within the community. i, and most people i know, wouldn't give a single minuscule little fuck if ben shapiro's entire army of ghouls came after us and told us we were destroying the sacred values of Old America or whatever. but the community at large does care about issues of racial justice and queer liberation and economic justice. which is why it's painful to see this supposed "community" eating its own over and over again.

how cruel can we be to people and pretend that we are their friends? that's the emotional crux of the essay to me. what we're doing to ourselves - people who do share our values and want to achieve the same goals - because this one platform is built on rewarding the quickest, most brutal, and most public response.

god forbid you don't have your identity figured out. god forbid you have an invisible disability, or are writing a story about something sensitive you've personally experienced but had an off-consensus reaction to. on twitter, if you are not a paragon of absolute and immediate clarity, you may as well be lower than dirt morally, because you're unable to do what the platform requires of you: air every private corner of your identity, up to and including your trauma, to justify not only your everyday actions and opinions but also your art.

(this is all honestly incompatible with interesting art, but i'll get to that in a bit.)

it doesn't take a genius to see how troubling this environment is when combined with twitter as a marketing tool. i remember that around the time of my debut, i'd tweet out threads of private, painful, personal stuff, which felt terrible to recount, but i'd watch the like count increase with this sense of catholic, confessional satisfaction. all of this was tied to the idea of my potential salability as a writer.

i was around 21 at the time. i felt a lot of pressure as a debut. i wanted people to like me and think i was exceptionally mature and confident. i wanted to do my job and build buzz for my book. i saw that all these publishing professionals and authors spent day in, day out angry and exhausted on twitter. every few days, a new person fifteen years older than me would say, "i can't take this anymore, i'm so fucking tired of this, i'm logging off for a while." i thought, well, this must be how online activism feels: like running on a sprained ankle.

i can still remember book after book after book that inspired blow-ups, big explanations, and simmering resentment: carve the mark (whose author was forced to admit that she suffered chronic pain after relentless criticism of that element), the black witch (a book explicitly about unlearning racism that was criticized for depicting ... racism), ramona blue (a book about a bi girl who thinks she's a lesbian but winds up in an m/f relationship, because she's still discovering her identity) ... etc

each book, each incident, followed the same pattern. firestorms of anger, a decision of where to place blame, the desperate need for a single consensus opinion in the community. i think a lot of people on book twitter see these as bugs inherent to the platform, but really, in twitter's eyes, they're features. the angrier and more upset twitter's userbase is, the more reliant they are on the platform.

i wound up leaving around the time i realized that not only was twitter making me anxious - NOT being on twitter was beginning to make me anxious, because of vaguely dread-infused tweets all around like "i'm seeing an awful lot of people who are staying silent about X. ... why are so many people who are so loud about X so silent about Y?" etc.

that shit is beyond poisonous. people will not always be logged on. the absence of someone's agreement does not mean disagreement. actually, someone's absence is not inherently meaningful, because it is the internet and silence is everyone's default position; internet silence in all likelihood means that that person is out in the universe doing other things.

this is already a ridiculously long response, so i'll try to wrap up. firstly, i think that progressive writers and readers have GOT to stop thinking that a correct consensus opinion can exist on every piece of fiction, and on every issue in general, and that if someone diverges from that consensus, they're incorrectly progressive.

secondly, i think that progressive writers and readers have got to uncouple the idea of a "book with good politics" from a good book, because 1) there are books about morally grimy, despicable subjects that help us process the landscape of human behavior, and

2) if, in your fiction, there is only one set of allowed responses for your protagonist, you will write the same person over and over and over again. you see this a lot in religious fiction. the person is not a human being but an expression of the creator's moral alignment. (not entirely surprising that this similarity to religious correctness might crop up with the current state of the movement. i read this piece around the time i left twitter and it shook me really, really deeply.)

i understand that in YA, there's a sensation of immense pressure because people want to model good politics and correct behavior for kids. this is a noble idea - and maybe twitter is great for people who want to be role models. but i've become more and more staunchly against the idea of artist as role model. the role of the writer is not to be emulated but to write fiction. and the role of fiction is not to read like something delivered from a soapbox, or to display some scrubbed-clean universe where each wrong is immediately identified as a wrong, and where total morality is always glowing in the backdrop. it's to put something human on paper, and as human beings, we might aspire to total morality, but we fall short again and again. honestly, that's what being on twitter showed me more clearly than anything.

[zrllosyn-art]

As per request by pumpkin, its Adult human mantis!! a super rough sketch but it gets the concept across.

I also went off and did a ton of worldbuilidng so theres that under the cut.

So first of all THE HIGHER BEINGS. I was thinking originally this world was occupied by non-human monsters, who had a fuckton of magic and were the origin of higher beings.

Ex) dia originally looked way more monster and dragon

and then alot of them got into a big ol war, until one of them becomes the victor. THis guy, who i am not sure about their design yet. But theyre humanoid, and also has a masked face.

(based off of old angels quite a bit, and its super obvious so the design is just a concept for now)

After the ‘Victor’ comes out on top as the clear winner of the goddamn war, they basically go “YOU FUCKED UP A PERFECTLY GOOD WORLD IS WHAT YOU DID. LOOK AT IT. ITS A BURNT ROCK NOW”. And more or less manhandles the rest of them into recreating life on the planet. And also makes all the beings on the planet humanoid, as a treat.

(”because i won goddamnit at least let me have this”)

And thats how you get the start of higher beings? Theyre all humanoid and the masks were used to anchor souls into these new bodies, and give them access to magic/mana?

The masks eventually become obsolete, and become a medium for magic as souls and flesh become intermingled and anchored to eachother.

ALSO THE FATE SISTERS. This part is subject to change depending on how the three of us (me, pumpkin, nd KC) change up the fate sisters’ dynamics.

(third one yet to be designed but theres three of them)

Originally the three of them did NOT get along?? They were born around the same time but they were also born into a war environment and just. Were constantly at each other’s throats.

And then the ‘Victor’ comes by and goes, hey u three work together to make ppl for me please thanks. And just. Kinda lumps em together and makes em work. Which, they dislike.

Theyre not allowed to actively fight each other and also have to make a single group of ppl (not one group for each of them) so they just, kinda compete in giving favor to the strongest and just. kinda showing off to each other like my favorite is stronger than ur favorite.

That leads to a pretty combat oriented culture for the mantis-group. Eventually the ‘victor’ drops in to see what they were doing, found the three sisters being a TERRIBLE influence, and just. NOPE IM ASSIGNING YOU THREE TO SOMETHING DIFFERENT.

And just, kind of, takes the three of em away. Which leads to myths about the mantis’ higher beings leaving for ‘a better place’ and whatnot. The legend changes as time goes on, like the three sisters merged into one higher being that ‘ascended’ or that there were 4 sisters that ascended (the previous merged version becoming a 4th sister). The most recent version of there being 4 sisters that together created a ‘heaven’ and ascended, leaving behind the thrones and altar that will serve as a road to lead their people to this ‘heaven’.

Myths go all over the place as it gets older.

Meanwhile the 3 sisters get assigned to being the fates, which is basically paperwork hell. They just, sit and record stuff and make sure theres no weird inconsistencies and prevent the start of another wide scale war like before.

Its boring as FUCK but it also makes them all work together and slowly they get along. Theyre old and know each other for too long. They still fight sometimes though. Siblings.

Meanwhile new higher beings appear often. Theyre either made because of heavy belief, or they exist in the first place and gain belief. It goes kinda visa versa. The Pale King is a newer one. The radiance and the void is both pretty fuckin old, theyre from when the war was going on im p sure.

The void is older than all of them i think? and cannot really be communicated with. Maybe caused a ton of chaos and is too strong to be left alone, so had the radiance assigned to them as a seal. It clearly didnt work.

ALSO MANTIS VILLAGE.

was figuring out more cultural stuff and this was touched on by the fate sisters, but was thinking about masks and their cultural importance to them. As seen in the Mantis sketch theres 3 stages of masks?

The first one is the one your parents or guardian makes for you as a child. Its rounded and distinct shape indicates to everyone else that you are a child, and is meant to be protected. Someone else is responsible for your actions, and you cannot fight the kid. This is a babey.

In the first stage mask kids are taught? reading and writing, basic exercise nd stuff. Things to help them develop mentally and physically. Fighting is technically not allowed, but the kids fight amongst themselves anyways.

At the 2nd stage you’re deemed old and maybe mature enough to learn combat. At this stage no one is allowed to actually fight u seriously other than your peers, but sparing and combat is allowed. You make your weapon then, and the 2nd mask is usually self made following a template.

Weapons are made out of chunks of pale ore (found in a specific place). You kind of just, break it off and then chip and sharpen it. Weapons are made by the wielder and changes over time with them. Weapons tend to maintain their original shape, so they tend to maintain a pretty organic shape. Theres alot less ‘forging’ involved in the process.

(mantis has two, and theyre both pretty rough at the edges. Carvings and such are added as you age as you like, usually to signify and important event)

The third mask indicates adulthood. Each person dons their 3rd mask at different times, whenever they personally feel ready. Usually someone else, a mentor figure or some equivalent, tells the wearer when they feel the to-be adult is ready for a 3rd mask, but the choice is ultimately up to the wearer.

The 3rd mask has no template and is completely up to the wearer, and is usually decorated by loved ones. The symbols on the mask are typically pale and hard to see, and usually have some sort of deeper meaning to the wearer and whoever carved it.

Once the 3rd mask is donned, the wearer is considered an adult, and is permitted to wear armor. This means that in all combat (other than mutually agreed upon instances) there will be no holding back. Armor indicates people can come at you with full strength during spars, because the armor will give you the leeway you need to survive. If that makes sense.

IN MANTIS’ CASE.

Mantis probably only dons the 3rd mask when they leave or is close to leaving Hallownest. Their mask was carved by themselves, although there are a few large nicks in it from when they sparred with Cyrill and Ruby. Theyre left on there on purpose.

(Not that cyrill or ruby know that its on purpose, or the significance of it being left there. Theyre both just waiting for mantis to bring it up again, as a way to guilt them both into doing something)

Putting on armor is a pretty ceremonial thing probably, but probably done by Mantis in private. A short small ceremony. Its probably a little sad, cause its supposed to be a big ol ceremony but they have to do it alone. lmao.

Mantis is pretty traditional, despite not really buying into their culture’s religion. They still kind of, like the traditions themselves, and so keeps following them. Out of respect for those that raised them and also just. As traditions, rather than their religious aspects. 

Probs heavily dislikes a lot of the religious aspects of their culture probably.

[advernia]

around june of last year, i decided to revive my writing blog as one of the many potential stress-relief methods i could think of.... i didn’t think i’d be able to keep it active for long since work + family duties keep me preoccupied most of the time, but eyyy!!! so far i haven’t lost the motivation to keep going back to this blog, and i even managed to keep it afloat for half a year!!! amazing!!! (•̀o•́)ง

and now here we are halfway through 2020!!! it’s waaaay overdue but here’s a big T H A N K  Y O U  V E R Y  M U C H ! ! ! to everyone and anyone who dropped by this blog last year + all them likes, comments, reblogs...... please know that i’m still i n c r e d i b l y grateful for the support & interest in the content i’ve posted up!!!! tbh my activity’s still hella sporadic so it’s really amazing for me that i even gained new followers.... i’m very honored to have all of you stick around my blog despite my irregularity!!!!!!!! (༎ຶ ෴ ༎ຶ)

it’s also overdue, but i slowly managed and finally cleaned up the blog like i’ve been meaning to do + changed the blog name to match my ao3 handle for consistency!!! i make no promises to be super active... but i’m sure that i still want to continue writing & keep this blog alive!!!! 

again, thank you all for your time + reading my works!!!!!!  ∩( ´∀` )∩ work commentary on the rest of my works last year follows under the cut!

oct 1 // hero’s journey

a drabble on blanc + oliver about the alices... now that i think of it, calling the first alice first alice is kinda funny considering that alice is really her name... or is it? 

i do hope blanc’s route talks about her a bit, haha! i mean, i wish cybird remembers that they’ve been dropping the occasional background tidbits about her... like for example, her pocketwatch (that she gave to blanc eventually) having a magic crystal engraved into it.... her potentially leaving a fucking globe in the black army’s possession (like... wow... u fell with that thing????????)....

plus, i just find it interesting that she was remembered by cradle as a heck of a troublemaker lol! it also makes you wonder who among the main cast met her, blanc aside... though it’s not stated when exactly she fell into cradle, so maybe only blanc had the opportunity of meeting her...

so does blanc speak of her fondly bc she’s a woman, or is there something else??? has he been frequently visiting the land of reason pre-game??? has he found the first alice’s antique shop / met her again??? does he still try to figure out the reason why there’s a magic crystal engraved into the first alice’s pocketwatch????? hmmmmm......

on another note, it would be hilarious if cybird pulls a peter pan 2......... since we can’t pull off a mother-daughter relationship like wendy & jane’s, what if alice the second is somehow actually related to the first alice?? and while she’s completely different from her predecessor, blanc finds himself falling for alice the second........ just like he fell for the first alice? drama!

that’s just a random thought but kidding aside, i do hope blanc’s route is hella interesting bc i think he’s our mr. exposition for knowing more about cradle itself lol

oct 1 // fair (?) ladies & phony (?) enchanters

a result of going manic a few days after seeing harr’s trailer + route release.... ahaHAHA I’M STILL WILLING TO PLAY UR ROUTE IN JP HARR (if i actually had time to sit down and translate gET REKT)

i liked writing these drabbles and i think they’re cute but tbh they did nothing to ease my curiosity about harr’s route.... if anything else, it became even w o r s e  haha........................

if i think of blanc to have a cradle-centric route, i do hope harr’s route is magic tower-centric! naturally it will be since he’s got history there, but i hope a lot of my questions about the magic tower will be answered.....

will harr’s perspective of the magic tower be in the eyes of a test subject or a disciple???? he was scouted by the magic tower, but it wasn’t stated what he was doing exactly..... going by hints + loki’s & zero’s routes, it’s more of him being a disciple, so there’s bound to be guilt.......

hopefully alice’s characterization in his route is good + we get a fun group dynamic with loki!!! their potential.... the most(?) notorious criminal of cradle, a sought after test subject, and that one girl who nullifies all magic; a renegade trio lurking around the forbidden forest.... what an odd bunch!

oct 4 // god is a five minute hymn

a religious themed fic with lancelot & alice - tbh i don’t even know why religion was the first thing that came into mind when liz and i were talking about cultural differences, lol.

on that note though! i personally like thinking that if ever cradle had a semblance of a religion, it would be polytheistic & nature-centric, and not strictly practiced - the stratocracy of both territories i’d like to think makes it harder for religion to have a voice, much less have one that is practiced by the general population. the only thing general about it is that the religion centers or has magic crystals as an important factor... or something. yeah.

that aside, i think i specifically chose lancelot in this piece for the sole reason that his canonically stated lack of common sense, in my opinion, gives him the curiosity of a child sometimes - there’s no sense of malice or doubt, just the pure innocence of wanting to know something....... religion does that to kids, especially when introduced to it at first.

rereading the fic makes me think of the instances where when faced with dire or unsettling situations, people turn to faith as a life line.... well, i’m not sure if i had that subconsciously in mind when writing alice, but that does give a spin to it....

oct 6 // flow like the river nile

a spontaneous red army-centric fic! it certainly turned out better than i expected... i liked the formatting i used for this one!

if cybird can give us more about the pre-game suitors it would be great, tbh! and while the stuff about them in school is interesting, i’d like to see more about when they assumed their positions + combat scenes! the neutrals are special cases, but knowing more about their living conditions + daily lives is also a treat...

i was thinking of adding one last snippet about lancelot in the eyes of the reds, but i scrapped it out and switched it to alice & lancelot’s conversation about duty - it could’ve worked better if i stuck to using the what is your duty? question, but i scrapped it eventually too. ah well. it does look good enough as it is. 

oct 7 // seeking out phantoms

a mandatory(???) odd one out aka content that’s not ikerev, haha! i missed fe:a all of a sudden...

i never got around to writing properly for this fandom tho, what a shame - i’ve got some bits of pieces in my drafts that looked interesting and easy enough to pick up, and this was one of them.

robin investigating more of their plegian heritage could’ve been a good subplot tbh... i still wish there was something like a paralogue or dlc about it, bc honestly the valm arc goes a bit slow until you get to the future past revelations. ah well.

and gaius bc first husband for the win.... not like i actually had the guts to marry anyone else in my other save files lololol

nov 7 // push me off a bridge (to catch me as i fall)

my longest project of 2019, holy shit! i didn’t know i still had it in me to write something past 10k... i need more of that motivation + energy....

there’s nothing much to say about this since i blabbed about everything in the post-reading notes, but as much as i fought myself to get this done, i really enjoyed writing a long fic again! hopefully i can get myself to write another one this year...

nov 18 // beloved, beloved, let me be clear

18 sentences on zero & alice + macross frontier references! man, when i really got to the point about the earrings i was thinking of sheryl a lot....

kept it in sentences cause i didn’t have enough time to put up a decent ficlet! but i really wanted to get my screaming out of my system....... i used to do sentences + three word sentences challenges before, and doing one again was pretty fun!

but really.... zero’s route kept me happy for days???? their buildup + dynamic was something i was totally w e a k for, no joke..... thank gods the collection event was going on, bc i really made good use of my stocked chapter tickets lolol!

i was especially excited come the ball scene, and that cg..... a h a h a.... i need more of those pretty cgs where i can see alice’s face + costume change....... 

nov 20 // coloring inside the lines

jonah + alice + makeup!!!! tbh this was really fun, i enjoyed writing this one - if i remember, this was a fic that i managed to continuously work on the day i thought it up!

jonah may not be my best boy but tbh i find writing him very easy - i guess it’s because i’m very fond of characters like him!!! those uptight nobles who are as prideful as hell but can definitely live up to their name + are more capable than their bragging suggests... idk if there’s a general trope name for these doods, but i especially like analyzing their motivations + convictions!!!

i liked how i ended it, but i apparently i made an actual ending that’s now a snippet in my drafts - jonah & alice head to the ball, and somewhere along some bystanders’ flow of conversation someone drops a comment about jonah’s lips looking... quite more luscious than usual, lolol. so t h i r s t y. upon hearing this, alice can’t seem to stop smiling for some reason..... 

nov 27 // blue fields, verdant skies

a practice drabble set centric on a ray/alice development that i liked so much i made it into a series - plus, it’s black army content and honestly i need to write more of them! my red army bias is showing whoooooops

it’s a feudal + arranged marriage au, with the latter... being quite spontaneous. it’s those types of marriages where neither have even met - not even once - only to face each other come the wedding... so it’s a given that audiences from both parties are rather curious how this will turn out.

since i had the theme of fate in mind, ray was the automatic pick for the male lead. the rest of the black army is a given and for kicks, i added dean and dalim! i actually want to write about them + mousse, but since i’m still unsure on their characterizations i’ve been holding them off.... but i gave in anyway.....

alice is again named for word count convenience purposes since it’s in actual 100 words aka drabble form! i have planned scenes + an ending already in mind, but going there is pretty hard bc.... i still have to write the scenes in between + resist temptation to expand further on other scenes, haha....

initially i was planning to keep it updated here as well, but any more updates of this are on ao3 instead! the formatting looks better there instead of my blog tbh, and it also gives it a sort of muted tone to the story that works with me!

this is also the 31st fic in this blog, marking an end of the challenge liz bestowed to me lolol - since i brought this blog back to life around june, i was dared that by the end of the year, i should’ve posted more than 15 fics to add up to the initial 15 i had already posted before, thus the numbers on my fics back then.... now that i actually succeeded, i can stop counting lololol!!!! tho hopefully i can still be pretty active this year....

dec 22 // duck, duck, bullet

oliver & fenrir on guns... this probably wins as the most spontaneous idea i had on my head - tbh, i wasn’t even sure where i was going with it at first! but i’m sure i was suddenly thinking about that one detective conan movie.... then it became kid!oliver with a gun.....

i wonder if he tests the bullets at night, when he’s in adult form.... then again, kid!oliver with a gun still works.... say that because he’s a genius inventor, he made some models to serve as his shooting targets.... but another thought that amuses me more is.... blanc does the bullet testing for him!?

lololol i already thought about blanc being oliver’s live target, but i also find blanc with a gun very interesting.......... i mean, blanc certainly doesn’t look like he can fight, but who knows??? i mean, mousse is the former ace of hearts, but i still can’t imagine him fighting..... appearances can be deceiving....

the two aside, i wonder how fenrir even met oliver and got him working on his bullets........ was it through blanc or other connections???? how long have they been seller and buyer???? does anyone else commission anything from oliver?????? hmmmm.....

dec 23 // terms of surrender

i’ve been told by liz + luci + other friends that i needed to practice writing more.... cheesy fluff. i’m not sure if this sirius/alice piece counts, lol. in fact, i think it’s my definition of fluff i see here - and it translates to not exactly fluffy at all!

tho if you want me to be honest about it - when i write suitor/alice stuff, how alice was characterized in the suitor’s route is still my basis for how i’ll write her, and sirius’ alice................ haha......... i think she’s the alice that’s honestly easy to write but i choose to avoid.......... 

i don’t dislike the sirius/alice dynamic per se, tho. i do find it cute, especially if cybird stops emphasizing the issue of maturity in the relationship on alice’s side. i understand - i really do - that it’s a potential issue in the relationship, but...... that’s not the only problem you can possibly have as time passes, right?????

on another note, it’s funny that only sirius gets to be harped about the maturity due to age difference issue - setting aside blanc, who heavens know how old he is, lancelot’s 29 and since alice is presumed to be around ray + fenrir’s age, you could say that she’s 24 or even 23 to be safe.... so that makes a 5 / 6 years difference but it’s never brought up, lol. but i guess it’s because unlike lancelot, the black army’s been making sirius’ age a running gag....

anyway, this piece is pretty decent! i was thinking of something along the lines of mornings between a “married couple”.... there were two scenarios i had in mind, and i opted to write this one out first.... maybe i’ll have the second one posted up here another day.

dec 28 // a chain of black thrones

pre-game!sirius & ray and bc i was thinking a lot about the previous chosen, the former jack of spades!!! i wonder if the armies have a set age for retirement lolol... it would be awesome if there was still a chosen who’s already past his 50s or something, haha!

since sirius was constantly badgered to take on the role of king, i was also wondering about how long the black army was ‘king-less’... i mean, if the tension between both armies was really as great as they say, having no king puts the black army at a precarious position... i also thought that ‘nah, maybe there was a king or something but maybe the black army didn’t like him or something so they insisted that sirius take it instead’ but sirius’ 1st anniv. epilogue says otherwise - there really was a period that the black army had no king, wow. how the heck did they deal with that???? surely the red army saw this as a display of vulnerability....

can the black army’s chosen choose to leave their posts when they feel like it??? when they’re defeated by a challenger, what happens to them - a demotion, or do they serve under the ‘new’ chosen??? does the black army’s chosen change constantly because of their meritocracy + challenger system??? like, how do they deal with that, and do they announce their changes in chosen each council meeting??? each new question just snowballed my curiosity, whoops...

there were so many angles i thought of but i decided to settle for addressing the king-less state of the black army... through the eyes of a veteran who’s probably served many kings throughout his time of service as part of the black army’s chosen.

i gave this jack of spades character a name, actually - garret folner. maybe someday i’ll write him again, bc i actually enjoyed thinking about the present + past chosen interactions - maybe i’d think about that for the red army, but this time i find the black army’s side more interesting for this situation.

dec 29 // steadfast tin soldier

a zero/alice piece for zeroweek - i was about to post pt. 1 as a standalone, but then i just thought about how.... zero bought alice a gown.... but never got to dance with her at the day of the ball..... so i rushed to add pt. 2 haha!

with the addition of pt. 2 it looks cut short tho - i did think of putting a scene in between, but no good ideas came into mind bc i was too fascinated with the dancing scene... i swear at some point i will find myself writing a fic or a part of a fic that’s a dance scene for the rest of the ikerev suitors + alice....

this is the kind of fluff i live for, actually... i’m totally fine with the steamy content cybird throws during events + bonus stories, but if i were to be honest i say.... where’s my non-sexual intimacy????? the simple, wholesome stuff?????????????????

man, i feel hilarious for typing that out..... but well, i guess it’s a matter of different strokes for different folks, lol!

[heavenburdened]

GRIEVING, consumed with fear &  mad with loneliness, eden finds  himself more lost than ever ; and  soon, like the distant stars and  constellations he reads about in  books, eden no longer seems to  be part of this world. he imagines  that he is made of the galaxies and  nebulas —— light-years away and  out of mind, out of sight ; drifting  away peacefully in the cold vacuum of space & building his walls up high  —— cementing them there, strong,  as no one, not even once, comes to  break them down. A LONELY PRINCE  TRAPPED IN THE HIGHEST TOWER ;  that’s what eden becomes yet again.  yet he exudes a quiet unassuming  warmth, for he is closer to the sun  up here.

WHY HELLO THERE LOVELIES !!! i’m edie ( 23, she/hers, gmt+11, cat mum, literature nerd & tea enthusiast ) & my cute lil woc ass is so gosh darn excited to be a part of this muh’heckin amazing group ?!!?!?!??!?!?! i’m here with eden lovegrove ( and cha eunwoo’s heaven-sent face ????? can i get an amen ??!!!?? ) ; a #softnsadboi with a rrrrruff past who i’ll be introducing to you all right down below !!!!

DISCLAIMER : this ???????? is a heckin’ 1000-page novel. 2 ur left u will find refreshments n water —— pls stay hydrated whilst you read thru this ! 

[ ! ] CLICK HERE FOR A MOBILE VIEW ( less formatted for easier reading ! ) OF EDEN’S INTRO POST !  

* ╰  APPLICATION !! ❜ ───

✧･ﾟ(   atlas + cha eunwoo + cismale  ) 𝒎𝒂𝒎𝒎𝒂 𝒎𝒊𝒂 !!  have you seen (   eden lovegrove ) around ? (   he  ) has been in kaos for (   one week   ). the (   twenty-four year old   ) is a (   journalist & freelance writer  ) from (   wisconsin, usa  ). people say they can be (   ascetic   ) but maybe that’s not too bad ‘cause they can also be (   forbearing   ). whenever i think of them, i can’t help but think of (   a wound too great ; that always has been & won’t heal, grief ; consumed by sorrow & mad with loneliness that yet still could not keep the boy from kindness, and softness ; emanating from starlight and filling him full to the bone   ).  ･ﾟ✧ ( penned by edie, 23, gmt+11, she/hers ).

* ╰  STATISTICS !! ❜ ───

basics

BIRTH NAME: eden park ADOPTED NAME: eden lovegrove BIRTH DATE: february 25th, 1995 ASTROLOGICAL SIGN: pisces AGE: twenty-four CURRENT LOCATION: kaos, greece NATIONALITY: american ETHNICITY: south-korean GENDER: cismale SEXUAL ORIENTATION: demisexual ROMANTIC ORIENTATION: homoromantic

background

BIRTH PLACE/HOMETOWN: wisconsin, usa ( birthplace & childhood residence ) —— manhattan, ny, usa ( late adolescence )  SOCIAL CLASS: lower class ( birth ), upperclass ( during late adolescence / adoption ), middle class ( present ) EDUCATION LEVEL: completed a journalism degree with honours at yale FATHER: franklin park MOTHER: dolores park SIBLINGS: matthew park, christopher park FATHER ( ADOPTIVE ): chet lovegrove MOTHER ( ADOPTIVE ): amelia lovegrove  SIBLINGS ( ADOPTIVE ): everett lovegrove OCCUPATION & INCOME PRIMARY SOURCE OF INCOME: journalist ; writing articles for guardian u.s. SECONDARY SOURCE OF INCOME: freelance writing ; prose, poetry, essays, published in zines & online CONTENT WITH THEIR JOB? yes PAST JOBS: bookshop clerk, library assistant, florist SPENDING HABITS: very thrifty ; good at saving MOST VALUABLE POSSESSION: a faded photograph of himself and his first love, now passed away

appearance / physical information

FACE CLAIM: cha eunwoo HAIR COLOUR: black EYE COLOUR: brown BUILD: mesomorph DOMINANT HAND: left hand HEIGHT: 183cm WEIGHT: 76kg INK: none PIERCINGS: none ALLERGIES: shellfish DIET: vegetarian

psychology

MBTI: infp ENNEAGRAM: type 2 ; the helper MORAL ALIGNMENT: chaotic good DOMINANT TEMPERAMENT: melancholic PRIMARY INTELLIGENCE TYPE: verbal-linguistic & intrapersonal SOCIABILITY: medium EMOTIONAL STABILITY: stable DRUG USE: no ALCOHOL USE: yes PRONE TO VIOLENCE? no VIRTUES: ardent, profound, forbearing, sagacious VICES: reclusive, distracted, withdrawn, ascetic HOGWARTS HOUSE: ravenclaw ACCENT: manhattan accent FAVOURITES ACTIVITY: reading, baking, knitting, writing, going on walks ANIMAL: cats BEVERAGE: boricha / barley tea COLOUR: powder blue FOOD: yachae sundubu jjigae / spicy soft tofu and vegetable stew CELEBRATION: christmas MODE OF TRANSPORTATION: walking MUSICIANS: keaton henson, flyte, palace, the black skirts, banff, kelsey lu, matt maltese SCENERY: the ocean BOOKS: disoriental by négar djavadi, the uncensored picture of dorian gray by oscar wilde, when i hit you: or, a portrait of the writer as a young wife by meena kandasamy, brother by david chariandy, & 10 minutes 38 seconds in this strange world by elif shafak. 

* ╰  THE STORY !! ❜ ───

eden’s biography is trigger heavy, with the following triggers —— religious fundamentalism, homophobia, racism, physical & emotional abuse.

CHAPTER ONE : THE LONELY PRINCE.

COLOURED BY AMBIGUITY and suspended in an air of INEXACTNESS from the moment he breathed his first breath, eden park was born into the world as a simple PLACE HOLDER between his older and younger brother —— caught in the middle, outshone on both sides, and quite often FORGOTTEN, even as a child.

in amongst frank and dolores park’s hopes and dreams for their eldest and youngest sons, eden learned terribly early on that his existence mattered VERY LITTLE to anyone at all —— for while the youngest son ( matthew ) was doted upon, fussed over and coddled, and the eldest son ( christopher ) was given the responsibility of shouldering the entire burden of the park family name [ a family with important ties to the church community in wisconsin ] ; eden seemed to FADE AWAY into the background —— more an OBSERVER of his family’s comings and goings than an ACTIVE PARTICIPANT in amongst it all. growing up, eden had no particular expectations placed upon him, nor was he deemed any specific role to play ; and so he often spent his time ALONE and off and WANDERING, DRIFTING from interest to interest ; from this to that, biding his time in the absence of his parents who had their hands full with matthew and christopher, and their devotion to the religion that had gotten them through the hardships & aftermath of the korean war.

where his home life was tainted with an estranged apprehension, when eden was old enough to start attending school he discovered that this new part of the world was no sanctuary for him either. his peers pulled at the corners of their eyes whenever he passed, called him yellow, and jeered at the unusual & pungent packed lunches he brought. as the real world gave the young boy no reprieve ; eden turned to books —— opening the covers and crawling inside the pages to feel safe and at peace. with each new page, he would escape the exhaustion of his family life, and the terrors of the society around him would all but fade away. by falling into the quiet blank spaces that separated the printed, parallel lines of black, eden found himself a sanctuary of utter calm and peace ; safe at last from a world that was too cruel and too loud for his heart to bear the burden of. 

and so the days passed & darkened. ballet, books, and an overwhelming sense of BEING ALONE ; eden spent his days growing his mind & heart in SOLITUDE, quite nearly completely HEEDLESS of extremist religious views his parents and siblings propagated as the world spun madly on. eden’s ballet recitals : missed by his parents, morning mass went by without breathing a single word to anyone —— the middle bed, left untucked.  SURROUNDED by so many people and still so estranged, eden never truly was a part of the family he’d soon fatefully grow to HATE.

the only sanctuary of hope and light for eden was the one he found in a friend, then confidante, then lover ; a boy he’d met in ballet class at 8. 

the boy who changed everything for eden. 

the boy he was caught kissing at 16 in the park family’s garden ; blood red roses blooming.

SCREAMING, A BODY BROKEN, AGONY SINKING INTO EDEN’S BONES. 

FADE TO BLACK.

CHAPTER TWO : THE HEART CAN BEAT OR IT CAN BURN.

sixteen years old, and eden awakes to the sight of his lover standing over him with a smile. brown eyes fill with tears of relief & a chest so sore it could burst begins to shake with sobs. the tears clear eden’s vision ; and as he becomes more lucid, the vision of his lover fades away. ALONE IN A HOSPITAL ROOM, the boy scrambles to recollect the series of events that led to his arrival in the emergency room ; something buried deep in the labyrinth of his mind unsettling, warning him, letting him know that he’s not ready to remember. the nurses don’t look him in the eye, and the doctors reek of a sickening mixture of sympathy and pity. everything is raw, and horrid, and lonely, and eden can’t quite figure out the reason behind why his heart feels so terribly broken.

after three sleepless days and nights, a social worker visits eden —— relaying to him the chain of events that led to his broken body & weakened soul. the social worker tells eden of how he and his lover had been caught kissing among the flowers —— she tells eden of how his brother, matthew, had discovered them. then she tells eden of how his family had hatefully beat the only person he had ever loved into a coma ; and how when their rage had still not been satisfied, in a fury, they turned on their own son and brother.

THE WOUND IS TOO GREAT —— it always has been & it won’t heal, and eden’s cries rip through the hospital ward like a scream of agony. his tears make him tremble so violently he feels as if he were a rainstorm shook by lightning.

.

.

.

the recovery is a long & arduous one. knees grazed scarlet —— every night, eden PRAYS. he prays for his lover, he prays for his family, and he prays for god to change him ; to save him ; to cleanse him of his sin ; black, purple & blue covering every inch of his soft skin. most of all, though, eden prays that the loneliness and pain that grows inside his heart like a disease will cease spreading ; the boy’s pillow stained with tears as he cries himself to sleep each night. 

mutilated, torn, tortured & etched away at, eden is alive, but he is nothing but a hollow body ; a home for little more than an agonised, sorrow-drenched soul.

just one week after the incident, eden’s partner passes away ; and eden is taken into the care of the state —— never to hear from his parents or brothers again ; safe at last from them. 

CHAPTER THREE : I WILL NOT RAISE HELL; HAVE WE NOT ALL ALREADY SUFFERED ENOUGH? I WILL RAISE MY VOICE, AND I WILL RAISE CONSCIOUSNESS. 

ten months after the incident, eden is adopted into a family by the name of lovegrove —— a family tainted with far too much darkness for eden to ever call home. the lovegroves are an all-american, white family with ties to the republican party ; with the head of the family, chet lovegrove, having strong political aspirations. the lovegroves adopt eden into the family as a move for positive press, believing that having a person of colour adopted into the family will make for a more empathetic family narrative. 

and so it goes that eden park is given the new name of eden lovegrove, and once again, THE WORLD SPINS MADLY ON. while under the gaze of the public-eye chet and amelia lovegrove parade their new son eden around as if he were the sole pride of the family ( much to the chagrin of everett, the lovegrove’s biological son ), behind closed doors, they stand back and do nothing as everett calls eden words like chink, faggot, gook, fruitcake and coolie ; disdain and disgust dropping from every syllable like venom.

grieving, consumed with fear & mad with loneliness, eden finds himself more lost than ever ; and soon, like the distant stars and constellations he reads about in books, eden no longer seems to be part of this world. he imagines that he is made of the galaxies and nebulas —— light-years away and out of mind, out of sight ; drifting away peacefully in the cold vacuum of space & building his walls up high —— cementing them there, strong, as no one, not even once, comes to break them down. A LONELY PRINCE TRAPPED IN THE HIGHEST TOWER ; that’s what eden becomes yet again. yet he exudes a quiet unassuming warmth, for he is closer to the sun up here.

.

.

.

as eden grows from adolescence to adulthood —— though he leaves ballet in the past, where memories too painful to bear the burden of have no risk of being dredged up —— his love for books and writing never waivers even in the slightest. literature helps him understand himself as he comes to terms with the world around him, and writing helps him find a voice in a world where people keep trying to tell him what he ought to be. traumatised, a foreigner, a faggot, a stranger amongst his own family. an outcast, an orphan, a charity case. with his pen as a sword ; ink running like blood, eden finds his voice —— learning to use it to speak words of love and truth in a world that has only ever been cruel to him ; raising his voice so that it can be a light in the darkness. 

high society life tastes bitter upon eden’s kind palette ; and though he is treated with nothing but malice within lovegrove manor or the high society around him, eden endures the trials and tribulations of his new life in order to use his predicament for his own benefit. rather than fixating on the cruelties of his adoptive family, eden decides to focus instead on the opportunities that have presented themselves ; using the money and the connections that the lovegroves possess in order to grow into someone that his lover, lost in wisconsin but forever in his heart, can be proud of. 

a quiet renegade, eden decides to pursue journalism, graduating with honours from yale ; becoming a questioner of the common, and using his compassion and kindness and his love for words to grow into a safe-harbour for the voiceless. his first piece, an exposé on the callous and tokenistic life he has lived with the lovegroves, leaves him branded as a traitor by the family that took him in for their own devices ; and finally, after being cast out in shame, eden finds himself free at last. 

the name lovegrove suits him well, however ; love becoming him, love consuming him —— and so he keeps his adoptive surname, wearing it like a battle wound for all the world to see. writing of people’s stories, in search of the truth, kind, but lonely, this is the way that eden lovegrove spends his days. 

.

.

.

ink-stained fingers & a sorrow-drenched soul that only wants to heal ; the stars, the moon, a study of the human condition through prose and endless essays. a journalist at guardian u.s., and a freelance writer, eden lovegrove is an ink splatter of words thrown against kaleidoscopic feelings —— messy, hurt, lost, ardent, sincere, broken, human, and so much stronger than he knows.

WHERE ONE STORY ENDS, ANOTHER BEGINS : ATLAS IN OLYMPUS.

“ SOMETIMES I GET THESE VISIONS — HORRIBLE VISIONS OF INEXPLICABLE VIOLENCE, GRIEF & SORROW [ … ] LIKE REMNANTS OF A PAST LIFE BLEEDING INTO MY PRESENT. ”

over the course of the past six months, eden has started experiencing some truly horrendous nightmares —— these terrors sometimes even creeping past the border of sleep, haunting him in visions during hours of waking. 

trauma from the park household, trauma from the lovegrove family ; that’s what eden believes, and that’s what his therapist believes. how could they know that these visions are actually coming from a past life ? one where eden was condemned to hold up the celestial heavens for eternity, as atlas. 

“ TAKE A BREAK, SON. A VACATION. THE WORLD WILL STILL BE HERE TO WRITE ABOUT WHEN YOU GET BACK.  YOU GOT A GIRL ? TAKE HER SOME  PLACE NICE. ”

eden doesn’t know how to tell his editor that he’s never had a girl, and nor will he ever. but the vacation doesn’t sound like too terrible an idea —— so eden packs up his belongings, and asks a man at the airport counter what the cheapest & earliest flight to someplace nice would be. KAOS, the man says. the island of kaos. and just like that, atlas finds his way to olympus. 

.

.

.

eden’s toes curl gently into a horizon of golden sands ; soft waves lapping at his feet as he relearns how to breathe. a softness emanates from the setting sun ; filling the broken man, full, to the bone. the world is wide —— and for the first time in his life, on this strange and beautiful island called kaos, eden feels like he might be in exactly the right place at exactly the right time. 

since arriving in kaos one week ago eden’s nightmares have been getting worse ; and the visions, strange, violent, and full of glimpses of sorrow, split his head with migraines —— yet curiously, eden does not feel as if he is breaking  —— on the contrary, it feels as if he is on the very edge of awakening.

.

.

.

–— AAAAAND, SCENE !!!!

 i’ll get to posting some replies to starters & interacting tomorrow ( because i’m eXHAUSTED after an excruciatingly horrendous day at work today ), but please like this post if you’d like to plot something up ??? OR LITERALLY JUST slide into my dms and throw headcanons for our muses at me pls ?! bc i’m awfully awkward and idk ?? how ?? to aPPROACH PEOPLE for plotting !!!!!

okie bye i’m going to go make some dinner and then shall slumber for 2000 years, but ilu all already and am so excited !!!! to start !!!! writing !!!!!

[mtg-weekly-recap]

MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap

Tibalt | Original art by @sedelerystick​

Welcome to another edition! So many things to look at this week, including a look at the spoilers for Amonkhet, as well as Cats under Wraps, and some reactions to this weeks Magic Story, Trust. But let’s not put the Cartouche before the horse, and get started on the bounty that is this issue of the Magic the Gathering Weekly Tumblr Recap

1. To the Victor go the Spoilers

Cartouche Blend | Reconstructed by @hopelessly-vorthosian, Original MtG art by Kieran Yanner

This week, we got glimpses of Amonkhet’s local deities, and they’re posed to make waves. Like the gods of Theros, these gods require you to meet a certain condition before they can fight for you. It seems that all 5 will have different conditions, which will interact with their activated abilities. Hazoret feels right at home with Madness cards from Shadows Over Innistrad, and Amonkhet’s own “Discard matters” theme.  Kefnet strikes me as a shoo-in for a control build. not only does it give you an end-of-turn mana sink, but late game, only costs 3 if you miss your land drop. Expect to see these on game day, I think!

Recently, we saw the Planeswalker deck cards, sans text, but now here they are, in their untouched, uncensored, lean, mean ab-flexin’ glory! Gideon, Martial Paragon is lackluster, feeling like a toned-down version of his Battle For Zendikar printing, which has been a mainstay in Standard since he was printed. Liliana, on the other hand, is EDH ready, just begging to be slotted into an Atraxa deck. Her +2 can make short work of smaller creatures, or gun down larger threats every other turn, much to the ire of Voltron players. Her ultimate is nothing to scoff at, especially in a multiplayer game where she’s spent several turns putting creatures underground. 

Liliana, Death’s Majesty looks amazing to me, being able to wipe the board 3 turns after she comes down, all while protecting herself in the meantime. Alternatively, she has a home in battlecruiser decks, promising to raise the two titans left in standard, or any of the Gearhulks from Kaladesh. Gideon of the Trials also has the goods to shake up standard, being a three mana Platinum Angel that can protect itself. The great thing is, the emblem even works with any other Gideon, including his Battle for Zendikar printing, or Martial Paragon. Expect to see this, alongside his Oath at an LGS near you!

These two creatures are posed to be my favorite in the set. Scribe of the Mindful seems lackluster at first glance, but serves as a potent threat. With it, and Keftnet in play, your opponent is forced into a dilemma. Either walk right into an answer, such as a Fatal Push with revolt on, or give you the free card draw. With so many uses, I look forward to playing with the Scribe. Soul-Scar Mage fills me with an incredible urge to build UR Prowess again. It was an archetype I enjoyed deeply during EMN standard, but lost its chutzpa for me with the release of Kaladesh, and more importantly, the loss of Elusive Spellfist. Soul-Scar mage could be the aggressive, field-controlling presence the archetype needs to return!

-- Nick @nick-dowdle-jeskai-judicator​

2. This  Week’s Magic Story Review

Trust, by James Wyatt

Untitled | Original MtG art by Tyler Jacobesen

When writing a recap for the Magic Story, I think it’s important to consider beforehand what you want to focus on and what to leave out. For example, are we writing this for those who have read the story or for those who haven’t? The answer, of course, is both. You should cover the essential aspects of what happened so that those who haven’t read it can catch up and understand, but at the same time additional thoughts should be added, or those who have read it will find this to be nothing other than a boring summary. So, with this in mind, let’s get right to it!

This week’s Magic Story, Trust, follows the Gatewatch as they arrive in Naktamun, and their first experiences there. Thanks to Jace’s sublime improv abilities (and despite Chandra’s vocal ignorance regarding the customs of Naktamun), the group is able to lie its way into convincing Vizier Temmet that they’re returning from a mission for Bolas, and secure a place to stay as base for its operations. There are two main takeaways I would like to underline from this story. Firstly, we see a warrior taken away by viziers of Bontu as consequence for declaring  “The trials are a lie! The gods lie! The hours are a lie! Free yourselves!” and “The return will bring only devastation and ruin!” This is interesting: this woman somehow found out the truth, or at least part of it, hiding behind the trials of Amonkhet. This begs a few questions: how did she find out? Have other Amonkhetians discovered the truth over the years? And does she know something that we, as an audience, do not? Sooner or later, we will hopefully find out.

Renewed Faith | Original art by Wesley Burt

Now, onto the second major issue: Gideon. Ohh boy. As I mentioned in last week’s installment, Gideon’s admiration of the gods (stemming from his backstory) can and will cause friction between him and the rest of the Gatewatch. The feeling of utter devotion that Oketra instills in him in this story is powerful and difficult to explain (props to James Wyatt for conveying it so effectively), and has resonated with many who have felt a similar religious abandonment in their life: take @talinthas​ post on this, for example\. As a non-believer, I have a hard time relating to this feeling, but I do not underestimate its power. And it is clear that Gideon is torn between the Gatewatch’s mission and his feelings towards Oketra. All you have to do to see that is read these two passages: Firstly:

"Do you hear her?" Chandra said. "She's a freedom fighter!"

"We're not on Kaladesh anymore," Gideon said gently.”

and secondly,

"And what if your precious cat-god is the one lying?" "She's not." "So much for asking questions. Seems you already know the truth." "I don't know about the woman, or the trials, or the hours. But there is no deception in Oketra.”

There is no doubt, in Gideon’s mind, that Oketra is on the right side of the things. The gods’ true nature and intentions are still a mystery, both to the Gatewatch and to us, but the fact that they are the supreme authority on Bolas’s plane should make us suspicious, at the very least. Next week we will hopefully resume from the cliffhanger of Gideon meeting Oketra alone and see how exactly this will unfold.

As Cruel Reality shows us, Gideon will eventually have to face the true face of Naktamun. But what will happen between now and then? And how will this affect his relation with the divine? I look forward to finding out alongside you all.

--- Diego, @magus-of-the-color-pie

3. Just Cos...play

Nicol Bolas Armor | @dominian-dracologist​ After some exciting progress reports, it’s finally ready!

Akroma | @jdcosplay

--- Compiled by Liam, @coincidencetheories​

4. Shot through the Fan-Art

All Long, Evil Villains Have Equally Long, Evil Cats | Original art by @frigidloki

Spoiler season descended upon us like angry Jackal God, and as the new art is unveiled, new inspiration sparks within Magic Tumblr’s best and brightest. @diorevoredo is enamored with the concept of cat mummies, while @misteryada celebrated the opening of a fresh pack of chalk with a six foot announcement board drawing of our beloved Goddess, Oketra. Speaking of the Gods @theblogeternities imagined a world where Elspeth, spurred by the devotion of those who share her story, ascends to Theroan Godhood. Also, see the same user’s melding of the Amonkhet and Theroan Pantheon’s key art If you’re less for the gods, and more for the monsters, @steveraffle​ has immortalized the Eldrazi Titans in Stained Glass  --- Liam, @coincidencetheories

5. Tunnel Vision

Tunnel Vision| Original Art by Danny Orizio

This week, we’re looking to highlight some YouTube videos!

Commander Clash - MTGGoldfish:  A third series begins with a brand new cast member, Twitch’s Mrs Mulligan, Jennifer Long!  Deck Tech #1 - Board State: Recap contributor @delver-of-seacrest​ is starting a YouTube channel, Board State, and in this premiere video, he’s going through the Temur variant of the Modern Delver. Is it worth it: Mind vs Might - Tolarian Community College: The Prof takes a look at Magic’s most out-of-it’s-time duel deck release in recent memory, and asks if it is indeed worth the MSRP. and what else might be of relevance... oh yes Amonkhet Trailer (English) - Wizards of the Coast: I’ll just leave this here. --- Liam, @coincidencetheories

...and finally: Magic: the Travelling Binder project

It started with an idea by @zoe-of-the-veil, to send someone a magic card for them to receive, enjoy, love and then autograph and pass along to another magic player, with new cards being added once a card is full of signatures, hopefully building to an amazing collection winging it’s way around the world. Adapting and developing the idea, @commandtower-solring-go is preparing to host the Magic Binder of Travelling Cards, hoping to turn the tables on Wizards, and instead of sending cards to WotC for them to sign, participants would chose a pet card, sign it themselves and send it to @commandtower-solring-go. The cards would then be collated and arranged in a binder, to be sent to Head Office in Renton, as a gesture of appreciation for the game we all love. We understand that this is still going head, so check out the post for more!

Thank you again for reading this week’s issue of the MTG Weekly Tumblr Recap. Hope to see you next week!

Interested in contributing to the Recap? Want to keep track of notable posts and trends throughout the MTG community on a given week? Or write a short blurb on a specific topic? Do you just want to make us aware of one specific topic or post? Please PM our main editor @the-burnished-hart or any of our staff writers! 

[sunxking]

yikes do u have any advice for someone who's new to tumblr rping?? i'm asking u bc u seem super nice & i really love ur blog /w\

O U T   O F   S U N L I G H T

Hello There! Thank you so much for you kind words! And may I be one of the first to welcome you to the Roleplay Community on Tumblr, as well as ( more specifically?) to the Comicbook Fandom! I’ve been exactly where you are now, my friend, as a veteran of RP from other sites and venues, newly branching into this hot little mecca of writing known as Tumblr!

                                               I think you’re really going to like it here. :) 

Tumblr is an expansive universe where the possibilities are limitless, both within and beyond the fandom your character might originally hail from. It is the birthplace of some truly wonderful things, like SuperWhoLock, Batfamily Shenanigans, and Redemption from Marvel’s Civil War 2 trash. On here, all those usual rules that controlled the way you wrote your character in an RP Community or chat room no longer exist, granting you freedom to interpret them any way you wish (or multiple ways in multiple settings!). Many fandom, like the DC Comics Fandom, are populated by passionate and friendly writers who want to interact with others that feel just as strongly about the universe as they do!

But, and I’m sure you’ve heard this, RPing on Tumblr is not for the faint of heart. All those things that make this place a source of creativity and inspiration also allow for some serious issues. The site itself can be a challenge, not really designed for intuitive, flowing RP threads. The atmosphere of a fandom, usually so positive, is also constantly changing in nature, and populated heavily by free variables (i.e. people), so that there are no comfort zones for anyone involved.

On one hand, this will make you a better writer, a more conscientious interpreter of character motives, and a much stronger RPer overall. On the other hand…. well, even the best fandoms have their fair share of abuse, and no one is immune to having their feelings hurt.

Knowing all this, me and my fellow roleplayers still come online to write our hearts out everyday, because we love to write and Tumblr is hands-down one of the most prolific places for Roleplay on the internet. And I’ll tell you this, lovely anon, hard as it is, tumblr RP is also a breeding ground for wonderful and meaningful friendships that will last far longer than even the strongest OTP. That’s why I’m so pleased to heard that you are willing to give Tumblr RP a try, even if you don’t feel totally certain about how to start.

As for me, I look forward to seeing you in the this fandom community (or perhaps another!) and possibly interacting with you in the future. Thank you so much for trusting me enough with your question. I’m certainly not an expert on being a successful roleplayer (some days I make a potato look like a better talent than me!), but I hope I can offer a few small pointers that might help you get started on your way to RP glory.

First of all, regardless of whatever fandom has caught your fancy, I suggest you research the atmosphere of the RP community here on Tumblr. Use the search feature to scope out RP tags for the fandom, spot promos for characters, and stalk any RP communities currently seeking applications on the site.  All this information will give you a feel for the type of RP experience you’ll have while in that fandom., and may influence your decision to take up a certain character.

If you have a personal tumblr blog, but you want to RP a character in a fandom, then I highly recommend you make another (completely separate) tumblr blog. Sideblogs are nice, but they don’t work well when you’re following others and want to interact via asks, replies etc. Things can get very confusing, very fast, especially in the activity feed!

Many people swear by their ‘About’ pages, and that’s a good thing. Once you’ve created your character blog and start reaching out to others, most RPers on tumblr will bee-line for your ‘About’ or ‘Rules’ page as soon as they see you’ve followed them. This is a courtesy so they can know how to best approach your character and what the important details should be known when RPing with you. So, to hedge your bets in a good way, always make an About Page and include all vital details about your character on it!

Also, keep in mind, there is no wrong way to write an About Page. You can check other RPers’ blogs for examples, but just write it however most makes sense to you. As long as it gives the reader an understanding of your vision with your character, that’s what matters.

Sometimes when you’re starting out, especially if you’re playing an OC or a lesser known Canon character, you’re going to have to be the brave one that reaches out to others and asks for threads. Just posting opens and following other blogs might not get you the responses you hope for, and I don’t want that to discourage you. Don’t be afraid to (respectfully) go after the RPer you’re interested in writing with, I guarantee they’re all super nice people and they will respond favorably to your interest in them!

Depending on the type of person you are, I would recommend possibly getting an instant messenger account for your RP blogs. I know that Tumblr messenger exists, but many RPers prefer to limit access to who can message them via that interface. The most popular instant messenger choices on tumblr are Skype, Kik, and Discord. This is certainly Not a requirement, and please don’t feel pressured to get an account if you are not comfortable with talking to strangers via instant messenger. But, if you love to spazz out over your fandom, and you love to share plot ideas and headcanons, then you will find a great many fast friends in the RP fandoms on tumblr. So many writers (me included!) love to share their inspiration in this quick way, and translate it to writing on the site!

Learn the fine art of tagging posts. Tags are just about the only thing we Tumblr RPers have as a search filter on this website, and some of us follow certain tags religiously. And I don’t just mean our tumblr url, I mean anything we feel is relevant to our character. For example, I track the tags: #sunxking, #apollo, #midnighterandapollo, #midnighter, #TheAuthority, etc. I also generously tag anything I post so that I can easily find it again on my blog, or provide navigation links to it for others to find. (such as #openstarter for all my Apollo RP opens). Additionally, I feel it’s important to be careful in tagging for triggering posts. I always tag with the keyword of the triggering content, and append the triggering keyword with either ‘ts’ (for tumblr savior) or ‘tw’ for “trigger warning.” Keep in mind that if you’re tagging an original post (not a reblog) that only the first five tags are picked up by the tumblr search engine. 

Stay open minded. And I don’t just mean in regards to crossovers and alternate universes. There will be RPers that you will meet that may interpret a well-known character in a way that seems entirely contradictory to how you envision them. And you may like it… or you may not. But sometimes thinking outside of the box produces great rewards, and you never know what innovative idea might spring out of a crack conversation. Regardless, always follow the rule of thumb: Respect others and lead with kindness.

Hopefully these initial pointers will help you hit the ground running with an RP blog on tumblr! There are other things people focus on, like the right theme, or text formatting… but that stuff doesn’t really matter to me. Personally, as long as your writing content reflects your dedication to your character, I am interested in reading it!

Again, Welcome to this amazing place, and I wish you all the success and fun with your character. 

Best of Luck!

– Red

[muzakmaker]

Vampire Weekend

Vampire Weekend is possibly one of the more divisive groups in the Indie Rock scene. Their name evokes images of the bygone emo rock, they’re music is typically associated with “preppier” crowds making it less popular with more “alternative” crowds looking to reject such things. All the while, their lyrics are often rejecting the upper-middle class lifestyles that their surface-level sound and style attracts. In the end, this created a cross-cutting mix of tropes that propelled the band to success. In this blog post, I will be breaking down the effects Vampire weekend has across youth identity and the rebellion that tends to attract while also cultivating an image of nearly that exact opposite of what they try to convey.

When a someone new is introduced to Vampire Weekend, particularly college students -- UVA and similar schools in particular, their first reaction is often something to the effect of “this is so preppy.” This is completely understandable, VW’s very poppy style and typically upbeat-sounding lyrics would attract the majority of demographics that aren’t actively rejecting that particularly sound. The more upper-class aesthetic they’ve cultivated is more due to the their invocation of particular north-eastern language and imagery, most notably in "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" of their eponymous album. As well as more just generally at first glance may appear to be pandering to that demographic. In actuality, they are oftentimes they are speaking out against these affluenza-riddled groups. With its tropical sounding guitar riffs and drums in addition to the name-dropping of fashion brand Louis Vuitton, "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" is actually speaking against these very things and the sheltered lifestyle it creates. The chorus of the song probably exemplifies this best:

Is your bed made?

Is your sweater on?

Do you want to fuck?

Like you know I do

Like you know I do

This feels so unnatural, Peter Gabriel too

Feels so unnatural, Peter Gabriel

Made Beds and sweaters are often associated with sheltered children. This is obviously in contrast with the outright question “Do you want to fuck?” Showing that these sheltered children are not what they may seem. To add to that, the odd mention of Peter Gabriel seems out of place until you look at the bigger picture of the song. Kwassa kwassa is a popular dance in Africa, particularly in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. Peter Gabriel is well known for his use of African-style drums and rhythms and Vampire Weekend uses their own version of these drums. These sheltered children consider themselves cultured and worldly due to their enjoyment of international brands like Louis Vuitton and Beneton as well as more “worldly” music like reggaeton and Peter Gabriel. Vampire Weekend is calling out these naive, sheltered children and their nice looking lives for the facades that they are. The irony is that this message seems to go over VW’s audiences’ collective head as a sizable majority of them, in my experience, is also in the same groups. It’s entirely possible that that was their plan all along, an attempt to draw in two different youth demographics at the same time, the more rebellious kind and a still-rebellious-but-more-conforming kind prevalent in “preppy” groups. And while I personally doubt that their motivations are as blatantly corporate as the “capturing” of the youth described in The Sound of Capitalism, I can’t help but think that it was on purpose that they attract the very group that they are speaking against.

Sidenote: On the other hand, it seems that not everyone seems to catch the message. For example, in 2010, Honda used Vampire Weekend’s song “Holiday” to advertise the Civic during they’re “Happy Honda-Days” promotion during the Winter Holidays. While the obviously more egregious error is that they expressly cut off the song before the song mentions “Summer Days” in a very much winter-oriented advertisement. The also detract from the song’s anti-war message. “Holiday” is about a young girl trapped in a war-torn country; the lyrics suggest WWII Britain, but the more modern context suggests they may be instead invoking older stories to make the same message about modern wars.

One important thing to note about Vampire Weekend and their almost irony of it all is that they are in fact a product of the very environment that they so often sing about and criticize. All four of the original members of the band attended Columbia University in New York and the three current members are all New York and New Jersey Natives. That’s the very reason that they know how to write about that culture and gives them the exact perspective needed to properly critique it. Vampire Weekend invokes all of these things, designer brands like Louis Vuitton, “intellectual” topics like the Oxford Comma, and other topics that only upper-class people would understand. In doing that, they can demonstrate their knowledge of the topics to the listener without being beat over the head with it. This then allows VW to present their message with some accountability and give it some weight and truth behind it.

The majority of this post thus far has been primarily covering songs from Vampire Weekend’s first album, simply titled Vampire Weekend. This album is the primary source of VW’s criticisms of upper-middle and upper class, especially in the northeastern United States. Their second album Contra has a much less unified message but the messages of the individual songs tend to be more relevant on a national or even global scale. The first song on their album Horchata still is in the same vein as their previous work, but the later songs in the album cover what one would argue as "safer" topics, and are often embedded even deeper into the song. "Holiday" as previously mentioned is extremely upbeat and simply drips of summertime cheer, but the actually meaning behind the lyrics are a much more somber anti-war rhetoric. Other songs on the album are cut from similar cloth, "Diplomat's Son" depicts a story of the son of a diplomat who dies. Meanwhile, other songs on the album cover topics much more relatable topics. "Campus" talks of having a crush on someone you see at school, The title song I Think Ur a Contra is of two people discussing how they are complete opposites and should part ways. (Contra in this case being short for contrarian or contrary, not the Nicaraguan soldiers of the Reagan Era.) The band even lightly touched on the ironies that I'd mentioned previously, "California English" being primarily about misconceptions and fantasy, mostly talking about the east coast's romanticism of the west but partially also in their personal image.

Lastly I will quickly cover VW's most popular album that arguably pushed them over the edge into the mainstream: their most recent album Modern Vampires of the City. Modern Vampires for the most part is very much a message against fundamentalism and religious extremism. “Hannah Hunt,” a song about a slowly decaying relationship during a cross-country journey, has the main character dismiss a priest and religion in favor of his girlfriend, the titular Hannah.

A man of faith said hidden eyes could see what I was thinking

I just smiled and told him that was only true of Hannah

Furthermore, the song “Ya Hey” is much more ham-fisted with its metaphor. The song being of Ezra Koenig, the lead singer, directly talking to god (The song’s name being a pun on the Jewish Yahweh) and criticizing him. That’s not to say that the band is saying everyone should denounce their respective religions. The song “Finger Back” Talks of “an orthodox girl [who] fell in love with a guy at the falafel shop” implying a romance between a Jewish girl and a Muslim boy. The tone of the following lines aren’t saying that the two of them should just run away together, just that the world needs to collectively lower walls and come together.

So what does this all mean? In the end, Vampire Weekend achieves fame through a sound that is simultaneously very poppy with a punk flair, giving an appeal to a wide variety of audiences. At the same time, they use this platform that they've built to try and get their more political message across. Touching on subjects that are close to home to them, like their experiences embedded in the upper-middle class and the cultures behind that, and much more cross-cutting like war, love, and religion. The combination of this popularity, the potentially divisive lyrics, and an association with a very specific group despite their broader appeal, has led Vampire Weekend to fame while being more divisive than their may seem at a first glance. Now that the main writer for the band Rostam Batmanglij has left, there is still worry among fans as far as the future, but their past work speaks volumes to the talent and strange dynamic that they have with popular music as a whole.

Just for fun, I wanted to include the video of Peter Gabriel Covering "Cape Cod Kwassa Kwassa" because I found his slight changing of the lyrics to be funny.

[transssexualheart]

Do all, entertain me so I don't have to do hw

ah man i was actually doing hw for once

1- my name?rain

2- do i have any nicknames?my mom calls me rainbow, my brother calls me ron, my friends don’t really call me by any nicknames anymore

3- zodiac sign?leo, borderline virgo 

4- video game i play to chill, not to win?animal crossing

5- book/series i reread?harry potter

6- aliens or ghosts?uhhhh ghosts

7- writer i trust enough to read anything they write?idk if there’s any

8- favorite radio station?i don’t listen to the radio much

9- favorite flavor of anything?watermelon or blue raspberry

10- the word i use all the time to describe something great?idk, i say hell yeah a lot

11- favorite song?robbers by the 1975 probably (im listening to it now lol)

12- the question you ask new friends to get to know them better?i usually ask what they’re doing when we text and they tell and through this over time you hear about their family and intrests

13- favorite word?either “soft” or “gentle”

14- last person who hurt me, did i forgive them?not sure, i think i was the last person to hurt me, and i don’t really forgive myself for anything

15- last song i listened to?robbers by the 1975

16- tv show i always recommend?rick and morty

17- pirates or ninjas?see on one hand i have gay pirates and on the other i have nsp so idk

18- movie i watch when i’m feeling down?probably some pokemon movie lmao

19- song that i always start my shuffle with/wake up song/always on loop song?my alarm is nine in the afternoon by p!atd, i usually shuffle the fiddler on the roof soundtrack starting with the wedding dance song or now i have everything, on loop i usually have do i wanna know by arctic monkeys or sarah smiles by p!atd

20- favorite video games?any pokemon game

21- what am i most afraid of?the people i love secretly hating me or abandoning me or dying

22- a good quality of mine?uhhhhh,,, i guess um. my hair is dark? so it makes it easier to see facial hair and shit on me which is helpful for my trans ass

23- a bad quality of mine?i can’t shut up about anything i’m interested in bc i obsess myself with things that make me happy and always want to talk about them because they’re the the things that keep me alive but it gets annoying and i get a lot of “would you shut up about this subject”

24- cats or dogs?how could i CHOOSE

25- actor/actress you trust enough to watch whatever they’re in?i don’t pay a lot of attention to the actors for ppl in movies, i think the only actor i was willing to go see whatever they were in was u lmao

26- favorite season?spring/autumn

27- am i in a relationship?no

28- something i miss?the way things used to be sometimes

29- my best friend? i’ve considered u my best friend for a long time, if i didn’t delete messages u could probably find me talking to newer ppl (mainly chloe, who was that girl i asked out and rejected me) being like “yeah so she’s my best friend and she’s great”

30- eye color?brown

31- hair color?dark brown

32- someone i love?diakjgbjfgvldgjh

33- someone i trust?i trust u and zee the most

34- someone i always think about?Get Out Of This Home

35- am i excited about anything?dying

36- my current obsession?playing amazing grace on the piano

37- favorite tv shows as a child?i loved sesame street

38- do i have someone of the opposite sex i can tell everything to?not really

39- am i superstitious?idk

40- what do i think about most?what the fuck do you think 

41- do i have any strange phobias?i don’t think so

42- do i prefer to be in front of the camera or behind it?not sure

43- favorite hobbies?drawing, writing, playing piano

44- last book i read?the great american whatever, great book btw, read it if ur looking for more gay books. warning though for death (that’s not really a spoiler i promise)

45- last film i watched?blue is the warmest color, didn’t finish it tho

46- do i play any instruments?piano

47- favorite animals?cats and dogs

48- top 5 blogs on tumblr that i follow?@ dreamts@ maroonracoon@ hugables@ roswater@ fauning

49- superpower i wish i could have?to pause time

50- how do i destress?what

51- do i like confrontation?no

52- when do i feel most at peace?when i sleep

53- what makes me smile?hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

54- do i sleep with the lights on or off?off

55- play any sports?no

56- what is my song of the week?idk the week just started my guy

57- favorite drink?grape juice

58- when did i last send a handwritten letter to somebody?idk

59- afraid of heights?not really

60- pet peeve?when u tell someone to stop fuckin touching u and they keep doing it immediately after

61- what was the last concert i went to see?the 1975!! just last night

62- am i vegetarian/vegan/pescatarian?no 

63- what occupation did i want to do when i was younger?i really wanted to be a singer

64- have i ever had a friend turn into an enemy?i’ve had fights with friends but we either made up or stopped being friends but aren’t enemies

65- what fictional universe would i like to be a part of?idk

66- something i worry about?friends when they’re sad, i know some of them probably won’t but i still worry about them hurting themselves

67- scared of the dark?yeah

68- who are my best friends?you, zee, shannon, spencer, i could go on but there’s a lot

69- what do i admire most about others?musical abilities, especially with singing

70- can i sing?idk, logically i have no reason to think that i can’t because literally everyone that’s ever heard me sing says it’s not bad or that i have a nice voice but i’m still unconvinced

71- something i wish i could do?sing in front of people without having an anxiety attack, speaking of singing

72- if i won the lottery, what would i do?buy myself and my friends a ton of shit probably

73- have i ever skipped school?i’ve faked being sick to get out of school

74- favorite place on the planet?idk man i haven’t been many places

75- where do i want to live?kinda wanna live in nyc

76- do i have any pets?cat named danny, two fish one named goldy and the other shaneeta dee

77- what is my current desktop picture?an nsp concert but i’ve been meaning to change it for a while now

78- early bird or night owl?night owl

79- sunsets or sunrise?sunsets

80- can i drive?no

81- story behind my last kiss?it was so long ago man i can’t really remember

82- earphones or headphones?earphones

83- have i ever had braces?no

84- story behind one of my scars?idk if i have any but i have a scab that i picked at until it bled in piano class because i was Not Ok and many times after for the same reason and that’s probably gonna scar now

85- favorite genre of music?idk

86- who is my hero?idk

87- favorite comic book characters?i don’t really read comic books much

88- what makes me really angry?when people hurt my friends 

89- kindle or real book?real book

90- favorite sporty activity?idk man

91- what is the one thing that isn’t tight in schools that should be???????

92- what was my favorite subject at school?idk man i guess art is ok but i’m not the biggest fan of my teacher

93- siblings?two, one brother and a sister

94- what was the last thing i bought?probably food

95- how tall am i?i think 5′5

96- can i cook?i can make grilled cheese and also pancakes

97- can i bake?if u give me a recipe then probably

98- 3 things i love?my friendspianosleeping

99- 3 things i hate?donald trumpdepressionanxiety

100- do i have more girl friends or boy friends?idk a lot of my friends are non binary or i don’t know their gender

101- who do i get on with better, girls or boys?im tempted to say girls but that’s just bc i have a preference for girls romantically in reality it doesn’t really matter as long as u aren’t a dick

102- where was i born?albany

103- sexual orientation?pan, probably somewhere on the ace spectrum bc sexual attraction is so so rare for me so if i think ur hot u better believe u are

104- where do i currently live?new york

105- last person i texted?you

106- last time i cried?not sure, i think last week when i had that big meltdown that y’all saw where @ hero-art was sending me asks through it

107- guilty pleasure?hhgghg,,hggg, watching vids of u singing

108- favorite youtuber?probably still the game grumps

109- a photo of myselfdamn bitch just search the tag # rain shows you his face

110- do i like selfies?i take a lot, usually just because my makeup looks cool that day, but they’re mostly shit

111- favorite game app?i don’t play game apps

112- my relationship with my parents?:/

113- favorite accents?idk man

114- a place i have not been but would like to visit?metropolitan museum of art

115- favorite number?five

116- can i juggle?no

117- am i religious?no

118- do i like space?it’s cool

119- do i like the deep ocean?it’s pretty

120- am i much of a daredevil?lol no

121- am i allergic to anything?i think grass

122- can i curl my tongue?yeah

123- can i wiggle my ears?no

124- do i like clowns?don’t really have an opinion on them

125- the beatles or elvis?i don’t listen to either of them

126- my current project?my dumbass lab writeup

127- am i a bad loser?i don’t think so

128- do i admit when i’m wrong?yes

129- forest or beach?beach

130- favorite piece of advice?“love everyone, forgive everyone, especially yourself.”

131- am i a good liar?i think so

132- hogwarts house/divergent faction/hunger games district?i’m a gryffindor and i didn’t read divergent or the hunger games

133- do i talk to myself?all the time

134- am i very social?no

135- do i like gossip?maybe? idk as long as no one is hurt

136- do i keep a journal/diary?i guess my writing blog is kind of an over exaggerated diary

137- have i ever hopelessly failed a test?i got a zero on a quiz once if that counts

138- do i believe in second chances?depends

139- if i found a wallet full of cash on the ground, what would i  do?get my mom to turn it in to ppl who know what to do with it

140- do i believe people are capable of change?yeah i suppose, but depends

141- have i ever been underweight?no

142- am i ticklish?very

143- have i ever been in a submarine?no

144- have i ever been on a plane?when i was seven

145- in a film about my life, who would i cast as myself, friends, and family?ah man idk i don’t have an extensive knowledge of actors

146- have i ever been overweight?no

147- do i have any piercings?one in each ear

148- what fictional character do i wish was real?idk

149- do i have any tattoos?two, one on my ankle and another on my ass

150- what is the best decision i have made in my life so far?to realize that i fucked up and to apologize

151- do i believe in karma?i guess

152- do i wear glasses or contacts?i need glasses but don’t wear them much

153- what was my first car?none

154- do i want children?depends on who i’d have them with

155- who is the most intelligent person i know?idk man it’s kinda subjective isn’t it?

156- my most embarrassing moment?my whole entire life

157- what makes me nostalgic?old songs

158- have i ever pulled an all nighter?oh yeah

159- which do i value most in others, brains or beauty?brains

160- what color dominates my wardrobe?idk actually

161- have i ever had a paranormal experience?not really

162- what do i hate most about myself?i’m stupid, i hurt and bother others way too much 

163- what do i love most about myself?ok i’m honestly not being a self loathing dick on purpose here i genuinely can’t think of something i love about myself

164- do i like adventure?yeah

165- do i believe in fate? maybe

166- favorite animal?question already asked bro

167- have i ever been on radio?no

168- have i ever been on tv?no, but yesterday i got asked to be (i declined because of anxiety)

169- how old am i?fourteen

170- one of my favorite quotes?“and you know that it’s not good, that there is no good, that nothing good can ever come out of it. but you do it anyway. and then... well. and then you burn.”

171- do i hold grudges?depends

172- do i trust easily?i don’t think so

173- have i learnt from my mistakes?yeah

174- best gift i’ve ever received?well my computer was p good though i payed for part of it

175- do i dream?yeah

176- have i ever had a night terror?yeah

177- do i remember my dreams, and what is the one that comes to mind?i do, and i just remembered the dream i had where there was this weird ass magical storm by my school that happened once thousands of years before on the same day and ppl thought it was a myth but it wasn’t, it was controlled by some ghost of a little girl and it lasted for weeks and eventually within our small shelter by the school people just died arbitrarily and some died from the storm who went out to try and get food and some starved, and soon all that was left was me and three others and it was horrible because every time we closed our eyes we were afraid we were going to open them and someone would be dead

178- an experience that has made me stronger?idk. probably my dad dying?

179- if i were immortal what would i do?try and undo that immortality or send myself into a coma forever because god i already want to die having to live forever would be the biggest curse ever

180- do i like shopping?sure

181- if i could get away with a crime, what would i do?idk man i don’t think about a life of crime much

182- what does family mean to me?people who care about me and love me and that i care about and love back

183- what is my spirit animal?im p sure that as a white person i’m not supposed to have one

184- how do i want to be remembered?for kindness

185- if i could master one skill, what would i choose?being better at piano

186- what is my greatest failure?everything

187- what is my greatest achievement?don’t know, i’m not proud of many things that i do

188- love or money?love

189- love or career?love

190- if i could time travel, where and when would i want to go?nowhere, i don’t want to spoil the future for myself and i don’t want to fuck with the past

191- what makes me the happiest?FUCK off

192- what is “home” to me?being with someone i love

193- what motivates me?i don’t know. not much anymore

194- if i could choose my last words, what would they be?idk, it depends on who i’d say them to

195- would i ever want to encounter aliens?if they’re nice then yes

196- a movie that scared me as a child?coraline

197- something i hated as a child that i like now?idk

198- zombies or vampires?vampires bc baz

199- live in the city or the suburbs?city

200- dragons or wizards?wizards

201- a nightmare that stayed with me?so this is from when i was little, my dad was driving my brother and i to the park and i was in the backseat bc i was tiny. so i said something to him and got no reply, i looked over and he wasn’t in the front seat, he was gone and nobody was driving. i look out the front and we’re headed for a part where we were meant to turn and there’s a giant steep hill and the car just keeps going forwards. it drives up the hill then flips over and crashes and rolls back down the hill and then i woke up

202- how do i define love?oh gosh. it’s in trusting other people to tell everything, even if they don’t “get” you, even if they won’t understand what you mean or how you feel because you trust them. it’s in the way you feel accepted around them. and all the inside jokes and knowing glances and doing everything you can to help when they’re down and feeling at home around them.

203- do i judge a book by it’s cover?a little

204- have i ever had my heart broken?yeah

205- do i like my handwriting?not really

206- sweet or savory?sweet

207- worst job i’ve had?never had a job

208- do i collect anything?ramune bottles and pokemon cards 

209- item of clothing or jewelry you’ll never see me without?don’t think there is one

210- what is on my bucket list?kiss a girl

211- how do i handle anger?vent to a friend

212- was i named after anyone?not with my first name, but my mom gave me my middle name after her friend from college

213- do i use sarcasm a lot?no.............of course not

214- what tv character am i most like?not sure

215- what is the weirdest talent i have?talent. What Is That

216- favorite fictional character?how could i choose one

thanks for asking  

[briinleyisms]

LMAO HEY MTV IT’S MARCY WELCOME 2 MY CRIB

“LMAO” AKA “ ( x ) ( x ) ( x ) #squadgoals”

ok so lowkey have had this muse for like ten years (ive been rping since i was seven fucking beat me) but every rp i bring her 2??? drops after like??? five days likE LISTEN THAT IS NOT HOW U RUN A RP LISTEN!!! UP!!! PUT UR BACK INTO IT!!!

anyhoW ok unlike ivan since i was still figuring out his bg w rosie when i posted his ‘intro’ i actually got brinley figured out and there’s a long version and a short version. imma put the tl;dr up here ok bc the non-tl;dr is overwhelming. personality is like.... toTALLY POINTLESS WHO CARES ABT PERSONALITY but it’s at the bottom i guess :\

TL;DR:

ok basically she was born into a death cult in aliso viejo, california (tbh i just looked up rural places in ca and chose the most recently established one i could find lmao) called ‘the children of the revelation’ bc im extra. lots of fear-mongering revolving around the idea of The End of Days™. leader was a total prophet and totally abused his prophet power. planned out ritual for end of days was lowkey highkey terrifying (‘let’s go die in the river of miracles’!!!!!! [too extra help me]) and one of the ‘apostles’ was like ‘i quit’ and left iN THE DEAD OF NIGHT!!! and lowkey basically kidnapped a few ppl including BUT NOT LIMITED TO brinley and they wound up in hillsboro and ‘apostle luke’ eventually left and now she’s in the oikos house. fin.

also sik tattooz bro.

ACTUAL VERSION THAT IS LONG(ER):

TW: cult (ofc), death, violence

firST it’s of note that i considered being rly fucking extra by putting quotations around her name bc her birth name is genesis like the book of revelations which brings me 2

my Extra™ title for this cult: “The Children of the Revelation”

so it was like a commune located in some place in CA that’s apparently rural and has only recently been established called ‘aliso viejo’ and lmao watch one of yall live there

but yeAH OK commune not just a church like the church of scientology like full on “u chose this life time 2 prove ur dedication”

alright so just full disclosure that i really really want to get this right and i know no one who has ever been in a cult (let alone a death cult) and i myself have not (as is likely expected) so i have already done research but i plan on doing like 100x more since this is a really serious subject. serious to the point that i’m not even using text slang (although i will when i get on with the intro post i just gotta).

anyhoW w that info out of the way time 2 get 2 the actual like point of the cult

first of all her mom joined the cult before she was born (ofc) and she was the gift!!! between her mom and one of the leader’s ‘apostles’!!!

so!!! 

basically: “lmao ur not leviticus enough 4 us.” (probs their slogan)

ok but obviously that’s scratching the surface like the real fuckery lied w/in two thing:

literal death cult (will get to that)

also doomsday cult

which sometimes go hand-in-hand anyhow

ok so the doomsday thing is what was more prominent in her life since she was 16 when she #escaped and never rly disobeyed (so many things 2 get 2!!!)

the leader’s name was ezekiel (cheever this is actually salem circa 1690) and he perceived himself as a prophet and naturally.... had prophecies. one of the most prominent ones was that the rapture would occur at 11:59PM on December 24th, 2011 (take away four days and add a year and u got the end of the world according 2 misconceptions abt the mayan calendar!)

the idea was that if u obeyed what ezekiel told u 2 do (he believed he was the fourth reincarnation of christ) u would end up going 2 heaven on judgment day but if u disobeyed...... yikes.

it depended on the magnitude of the ‘crime’ but for the most part if u disobeyed more than two times u were killed. u were hung or drowned and u were made an example of.

if u disobeyed less than two times and ur ‘offense’ wasnt worthy of immediate death dw!!! u can scrape by w torture!!! and also be made an example of!!!

so basically u were at ezekiel’s beck and call. every little bit of labor he asked u 2 do was like.......... if u didnt do it yiKES!!! ofc children werent expected 2 perform any laborious tasks rather just 2 listen and take in everything ezekiel and his apostles told them.

his ‘apostles’ who (as u can infer) served as his right-hand men were the fathers 2 all the children who would be born inside the cult. they kept ppl in line. they taught the kids when ezekiel was busy. those sorta things u kno???

ok so imma skip over some of the details that are like.... worse??? like theyre all bad but like these are the things i j feel like shouldnt be brought up in an intro post but theyre in the hella long rough-draft bio here that i went ahead and put up for this purpose rly

SO THAT BEING SAID THIS WAS SORTA A WAY 2 SHOW THE SORTA ENVIRONMENT SHE WAS RAISED IN AND IT SOUNDS FUN AND I WOULD LOVE 2 BE A PART OF IT.

so ok imma try 2 make this next part go quicker

basically the ‘judgment day’ was closing in and ezekiel’s plans were rly like no thank u ( (TW: SUICIDE) ’hey guys! 2 make sure we get into heaven not only do u have 2 follow all of my commands since im jesus’s fourth reincarnation but we all also have 2 walk into a river with rocks in our pockets at the time the world is supposed 2 scorch with hell’s fire!’ (END TW) fun christmas activities for u and ur bae.

as it started closing in it was basically all ezekiel talked abt during his ‘sermons’ like wtf??? what a church service.

‘apostle luke’ (i hate myself) was like “ok..... ok the more u talk abt this the less believable it sounds..... like wtf jesus’s fourth reincarnation??? pics or it didnt happen.” and after some months he wound up concocting this plan 2 #escape bc honestly??? 

so he eventually eSCAPED in the deAD OF NIGHT and basically kidnapped ppl like ok sure luke

one of said ppl was brinley which i kno is unexpected. (honestly i think this is like??? maybe the third time i brought her up in all of these bullets??? honestly @me

“wAS NOT WILLING 2 GO!!! WAS NOT HAPPY 2 GO!!! WAS NOT READY 2 GO!!! NEEDS SOMEONE 2 FOLLOW!!! DOES NOT KNO WHAT 2 DO!!! DOES NOT APPRECIATE THIS!!! IS SHOOK!!!” - everyone luke fucking kidnapped then basically had 2 serve as a stand-in ezekiel for

they ended up in hillsboro after like 84 years and he was like “OK EVERYONE GETS NEW NAMES!!! :D” and tbh he probs just pulled out one of those baby books pointed 2 a random name and bam!!! that was their name

so even tho i’ve been calling her brinley this whole time just 2 make it??? not confusing??? genesis became brinley and she was no longer a book of revelations she is apparently a name that’s most prominent in utah

over time ppl pce’d out (not rly bc they wanted 2 but bc they needed 2 like u get what i mean.)

it ended up j being three ppl in their shitty apt!!! one luke one brinley and one kid who has a name but 1) i havent mentioned it yet and 2) i dont want 2 go look for it in the bio tbh

doomsday came and brinley was shook!!! rly rly shook!!! trying 2 find out what 2 do that would be similar enough 2 what thE CHILDREN of the corn would do!!! and luke was like ( x )

a lot more climatic than im acting like it was but this is so long i dont want 2 spend too much time on anything anymore but ok minor point is homemade inkin’ machine (legit mainly bc ryan ashley -dave navarro voice- [has/had] what it takes... to be ink master. -end voice-)

ok luke left eventually and idk so did the kid idk that’s in there and at first she was like “lmao idk what 2 do ig imma squat [man ivan and brinley #parallels] and keep doin what im doin” and she did and ok

aFTER ALL OF THIS OH MY GOD WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST WRITE she wound up w the oikos (bc honestly u can only squat for so long and who the fuck would be like “yes! i would like 2 be inked by a kid on the street who doesnt rly have anywhere 2 put anything! yes!” [i would be like that #exposed]) and is now somewhere where ppl dont think the world will end soon wtf

personality but who cares abt that:

WOW THAT WAS LONG

ok!!! so i never rly had a clear definition of her personality i just like... waited 2 see (BEFORE THE RP CLOSED FUCK THAT) but then i watched a long-ass chipotle commercial (theres this one part where a cow is basically abt 2 be slaughtered and idk it’s so sad it was rly playin up that pathos i wanted 2 cry) and i was suddenly like!!! a lightbulb!!! “aha!!! basically fiona apple’s cover of ‘pure imagination’”

SO 2 GET ON W THAT

it’s been five years since she escaped and started desocializing from that lyf she knew but like............ five years compared 2 sixteen i mean which one’s gonna weigh the other out tbh (i just typed ‘way’ i cannot believe myself pls send me back 2 first grade)

so ok literally LITERALLY it is this song like im tryna think of how 2 explain it???

like the lyrics of it are (u kno willy wonka) v bright (albeit a bit ??? during that spin part) but the bg in fiona apple’s cover is so??? dark??? and honestly fiona apple’s voice just makes everything seem darker (i love fiona apple shes such a queen)

so it’s a v contradicting song

and she has a v contradicting personality

like ok one big thing that fits this contradiction is she feels like she needs someone 2 follow??? since that’s how it’s been almost all of her life??? (come 2 think of it i wouldnt be surprised w my subconscious if that’s the reason she’s still in the oikos house [asides from jobless but]) but at the same time like??? she WANTS 2 be independent??? she WANTS 2 be able 2 build a life for herself and around herself and not someone else but??? it just doesnt work that way???

MORE CONTRADICTION!!! bc of that whole ‘death/doomsday cult’ thing she is a p paranoid person??? but??? at the same time??? c h i l l ??? i mean in any case shes always gonna be lowkey paranoid but she doesnt??? rly act that way most of the time??? this could also be filed under “very curious about the norms of this brand new society but also very wary and prefers 2 Not™”

MORE!!! lmao ok religion idek what 2 do here honestly it’s so fucked. she knoWS IT’S SO FUCKED IT’S SO FUCKKING FUCKED but 16/21 years like??? v hard 2 get over that??? buT IT’S SO FUCKED. like no hate no discriminate (speaking of no discriminate highkey bi i love wlw) but also “everyone is a sinner and so am i we are living in sin we are going 2 burn it is only a matter of time satan where u @???” so like??? scared and wary??? but also??? fucked.

A LOT OF FUCKING FUCKERY. 

A FIONA APPLE SONG.

THANK U AND GOODNIGHT

if u would like 2 plot pls do feel free 2 like this or hmu

and if u actually READ that all then holy shit ur a saint u would make it 2 heaven on rapture day