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kunderdogs · 4 years

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Take A Chance IV

Simon Dominic (AOMG) x Y/N (Reader) Genre: Romance / Angst Count: 2.4k+ Warnings: None Rating: Mature (suggestive, swearing) Summary: Who would’ve thought a one night stand with Simon D would turn into FWB? It only gets more complicated when you developed feelings, against your better judgement.

Over the course of two weeks, you and Kiseok had a pretty good routine going on. He didn't come over every night, more like every other but he called and texted you nearly every chance he got.

At first you didn't think anything of it. He would ask you how your day was, if you ate and how you were feeling. Nothing crazy or out of pocket. It was innocent most of the time, and usually followed up by making plans to see you later on.

There was nothing you could do to stop your heart from bursting out of your chest each time you heard a small chime. Nicole had glared at you once when you two were on lunch and you scrambled over the table to reach your phone.

"Is that Lover Boy?" She teased. You were thankful that, out of all the nicknames she could've used - and she had a lot of them -, lover boy was the one she had stuck with. For now.

"What?" You feigned ignorance, "I have no idea what you're talking about. That's...Amazon. My package was delivered."

She smirked, sipping her iced tea, "I'm sure it was."

After a few days, Kiseok's texts became a little more...risky. You had no problem with sexting. When in the right setting, it was hot but he would send you wild shit while you're in the middle of a meeting, or when you're trying to finish up the last of your work before heading to see him. Usually you could play it off then retreat to the bathroom to respond but when he sent a voice recording of that damned deep voice of his, you stood from your desk and went to the stairs corridor to call and cuss him out for getting you bothered at eleven in the morning. You promised punishment as soon as you were off and Kiseok was, to say the least, intrigued. That night he was stunned at how different you could be if he gave you the reigns. Days after that, he still catches himself staring after you with amazement.

From that point on, he pretty much figured out that he could make you do nearly anything with a certain voice. It was a dangerous game that you two played. It only escalated when he coaxed you to touch yourself in the private bathroom at your company with him on FaceTime. You were lucky that you had finished in record-breaking time, before any of your coworkers (or God forbid, your boss) found out what exactly you were doing.

By the time the third week rolled around, Nicole had stopped hounding you for details of your hookups. Instead, she cautioned every now again. Typically, it was the same thing.

"Don't get too attached."

"He's a celebrity. You know how society is to foreigners dating celebs."

"What if he's a player? I just don't want you to get hurt."

While you appreciated her concern, you knew it was already too late not to get attached to him. Other than text you constantly, Kiseok did little things that had your head and heart confused.

On his bad days, he would complain to you about what happened and asked for your advice, if you had any to give, on the topic. He joked and teased you just like a friend would and willingly showed you pieces of his personal and work life as well. It was subtle at first - videos of him in the studio and then pictures of his friends when he was telling you a story about them. Each time, he would bring you food or have something delivered so you both got to learn each other's eating and drinking habits. You had seen him tipsy but he made it a point not to over do it in front of you.

Kiseok was also very considerate of you and your time, which you appreciated more than anything else. He didn't hound you if you didn't text back immediately and understood if you were swamped at the office or had to cancel that one time because the work would not be done until late in the night. He just told you to take care of yourself and later, had a pizza ordered to your job. It was around that time that you noticed you were falling a little too fast. You hadn’t admitted it out-loud, instead you chose to ignore those feelings completely. Hopefully, they would magically disappear into thin air.

You both didn't get into intimate details of your life. It was only by a weird stroke of luck that he hadn't found out about Cookie. She usually called right after you got off work anyway. Kiseok was busy during the day so when you went out to meet with your daughter and her father on your off days, he was in the middle of his own jam-packed schedule. Really, he was only available during the night time so you were more of a booty call than a FWB at this point. Neither of you had defined the "relationship" so far though, so it was hard to put a name to it right now.

It was Saturday when you woke up early and got dressed in casual clothes to go with Cookie to the zoo. Her, her father and his girlfriend were flying back to the US tonight so they wanted to do one last thing to fill the hours before the boring plane ride. You had cried last night as you thought of being without your mini-me for two whole months but his family hadn't seen her since she was much younger. You knew she would have fun, especially since his parents were dying to take her to Disneyland. You wished you could take an extended vacation and go with them but you had used most of your vacation days to take Cookie to Disney World for her birthday and that was only a couple of months ago.

Either way, you were sadder these past two days and thankfully Kiseok was swamped with an upcoming project so he hadn't been over in about four days. You didn't have to explain your blood-shot eyes.

You had so much fun at the zoo with your daughter that you didn't bother touching your phone. Your ex had taken most of the pictures for you all with promises to send them to you. It was around two in the afternoon when you four decided to go to a nearby burger joint and get some lunch. Cookie was shoving her face with chicken tenders so you decided to check your phone to pass the time. There were a few new gray message bubbles.

'Hey sexy thang ;)' 10:09AM

'This song better go double platinum with all the work I'm puttin in this bitch' 11:32AM

'Don't tell me you're asleep still?' 11:38AM

'I'm going to find a way to get your sexy ass as a video vixen one of these days' 11:47AM

'Argggh PD is calling me back. Text me when you wake up' 11:51AM

'We should be done by 2. Loco is taking me to some new place for food then I'm free. Can I swing by your place?' 11:52AM

Of course they were all from Kiseok. Not even your mother texted you as much as he did and although you liked the attention, right now you wanted to focus on Cookie since you won't physically see her for weeks after this. You frowned to yourself, feeling tears well up in your eyes for the millionth time today. You were going to miss her so much.

Composing yourself, you quickly typed a reply back. 'Hey. I'm up, just a little busy today. I won't be able to see you tonight. Maybe tomorrow if you're free?' 2:16PM

With that, you locked your phone and slid it in your pocket, once again forgetting about it soon after.

Your ex's girlfriend, Mia, nudged you slightly when she saw how pensive you were. "Hey, you okay? Was that work?"

Shaking your head, you took a breath, "No, I'm just gonna miss having my best friend around."

Cookie popped up, french fries sticking out of her mouth, "I'm gonna miss you too, mommy!" Her curly hair was pulled into two pony-tails, coils springing happily as she devoured the food in record-breaking time. "Don't cry! I'll make daddy buy you a Tiana dress so we can match!"

You laughed at the sight, tears pooling in your eyes again as her father pouted. "Ok, sweetie, I'd love to match with you."

About thirty minutes later, you all were getting ready to leave when Mia said she'd swing by and grab the rental car from the parking lot. They had to go to back to their hotel to pack. You all said your goodbyes, tears flowing freely between you and Mia. Cookie looked concerned for you as she wiped your tears, kissing your cheeks to reassure you.

Your ex hugged you and thanked you again, his eyes sparkling with happiness to have his precious daughter with him. You wished you could go with them once again as you watched their car drive off.

Back at home, you were greeted with a depressingly quiet apartment. It was cold and dark, something that was going to be a common occurrence for the coming weeks. Sniffling, you made your way to Cookie’s room, scanning her pink room with a blurring gaze. You were slowly walking around the room when you felt your phone ring.

It was Mia.

"Hello?" You called, wondering what could've happened in the last hour since you parted ways.

"Hey, Y/N, Cookie is freaking out because her father forgot to ask you to bring her Peach doll," Mia nearly shouted over the distraught crying in the background. You could hear your ex trying to console Cookie, to no avail. "Can you meet us at the airport with it?"

Searching the room, you spotted the Princess Peach doll on her bed and nearly sprinted out of the door. "I got it. When is your flight again?"

"Boarding is in another hour and a half."

Shit. You scrambled to snatch your keys and shoved the doll in your purse. "Okay, I'll leave now and meet you at departures, okay? Tell Cookie mommy's on the way."

You hung up and made a mad dash down to the parking garage. The airport was about a forty-five minute drive from your place, not including traffic or any other delays like the predictable Seoul rush hour.

At his own apartment, Simon was lounging on his couch, laptop on his chest as he worked. Loco was right next to him, on Face Time with the one and only Jay Park as he was at the airport.

"Have a safe flight," Loco was saying before Kiseok slid shoulder-to-shoulder with him.

"Get there and back in once piece, boss," the oldest one teased and Jay laughed. Unfortunately, he was distracted a little too long because he suddenly collided into a woman. The phone fell, face up and there were suddenly two faces on the screen.

His body guards reacted immediately and made sure the two were alright. Mildly interested, the two on the other side of the line watched on.

"I-I'm so sorry, oh God, I'm just in a rush." The woman's voice was so eerily familiar to Kiseok that he took a second to strain to hear it over the airport commotion.

Jay was off to the side, picking up his passport and other belongings that fell. "Nah, it's alright. Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, thank you. Again, I'm so sorry I wasn’t- Is this your phone?"

Without further ado, the woman picked up Jay's phone, and Kiseok felt his eyes bulge out of his skull when her face came into view.

What was Y/N doing in the airport? Loco didn't notice the other's tense reaction and simply waved at the stranger. You didn't seem to glance at the screen, yet they could easily notice your tear-stained cheeks, and just passed it back to the owner.

Over Jay reassuring her that it was fine for the third time, a loud and very male voice yelled. "Y/N! There you are!"

With another apology, you left the frame and turned towards the male voice. Jay watched the interaction for a second before continuing on his way, which was conveniently right past you. Loco was talking to the CEO like that didn't just happen when Kiseok saw you in the frame again. He was positive it was you this time around.

You wore that over-sized gray sweater that he thought was so cute on you, hair tied messily and hugging a handsome foreigner tightly. He pulled back from the hug and pushed back some pieces of your hair from your face before smiling, his lips moving. Staring up to him, you nodded, wiping your face with your sleeves. He brought you back to his chest, arms around your shoulders.

Involuntarily, Kiseok felt his jaw clench at the display of affection. His eyes tore from the phone quicker than he meant to, causing his junior to stare at him in confusion.

For the rest of the night, Loco was warily watching as the older man was fuming next to him. There was hardly any movement from his part and he was sure he was in a coma until Simon wiped out his phone, tapping it a few times before pressing it to his ear.

“Nayoung? It’s been a while. Are you free right now?”

Almost choking on his coke, Hyukwoo coughed. Why was Kiseok calling her, of all people? Once the call wrapped up, he nervously voiced his concern, “Hyung...Why are you calling her at this hour..?”

He didn’t get an immediate response, instead, Kiseok stood and glared with the power of a thousand suns at the TV in front of them.

“Am I not single? Can I not do what I want, with whoever I want, too?”

Without any further explanation, he stormed out of the apartment all together.

Hyukwoo stared after the front door in confusion. “Too?”

#simon dominic #simon dominic scenarios #aomg #aomg scenarios #jung kiseok #aomg simon d #simon d scenarios #jay park #loco #kunderdogs #kunderdogs scenario #take a chance #chapter four

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tommyquackson · 5 years

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Not Working | p. parker | part 4

Not My Gif

summary: you and peter are together but maybe it’s just not working anymore

warnings: angst, depression, fluff cussing i think?

note: this was the final chapter and i loved this series. thank you guys for supporting it and showing it love. Make sure you request and read my other fics. ok love y’all enjoy!!!

this is Midway School of Science and Technology calling to inform you, you’ve missed 13 consecutive school days and if you miss 2 more you’ll be at risk of failing your courses and we will have to send police over to do a wellness check. We hope to see you in school tomorrow. Have a great day

So it’s been 13 days. You haven’t left your house in 13 fucking days. You’re beginning to smell yourself, you haven’t bathed or showered since the night everything went down. You just lay in bed, watching whatever black and white shows playing on MeTV at the time. You only eat about once a day, when reciting old life insurance commercials begins to hurt your brain. Your phone died a long time ago and you’re just now listening to the messages in your home phone.

You click delete on the message and let the next one play.

hey y/n, uh it’s Brad. Look i know you hate me but you haven’t been at school and nobodies heard from you so I just wanna make sure you’re okay. I do care about you and i wanted to say-

you roll your eyes and click delete again.

hey honey! Aunt May here, just wanted to let you know me and peter are safe and back home. I’d love for you to come over and have dinner on thursday, and don’t worry Peters visiting Tony so he won’t be here. Call me back or just show up okay hon. Love you bye.

Your hand dangled over the delete button before you sighed deeply. May never did anything to you, but how were you gonna pull it together enough to get to her. You were exhausted all the time, even if you never do anything. You looked at the time and date on your home phone and realized it’s Wednesday. You sigh deeply and pick up your home phone to call May.

ring ring ring

“Y/n! Hey honey, how are you?” Mays voice sings through the phone and for a moment the world seems a little brighter.

“Hey May,” You croak out, you havent spoken in almost 2 weeks and your throat hurts. “I’m not doing well May, everything hurts and I cant even get out of bed. I cant go to school, or eat or sleep or shower May I hate this. I hate it.” Your already raspy voice breaks into sobs and you wonder if she can even understand what youre saying.

“I’m on my way y/n, its gonna be okay. I love you and I’ll see you in 10 minutes.” May speaks strongly before hanging up the phone. You do nothing but change pajamas and grab a bag of chips before moving back into your bed and wait for May.

It’s not long before May is knocking and slowly opening your front door.

She looks at you with tears in her eyes before walking over and oulling you into a hug. It feels weird to have human contact but you dont pull away, just allow her to cuddle you.

“Lets get you a bath, I’ll help you wash your hair.” She smiles lightly before pulling you up and towards the bathroom.

You sit on the toilet while she gets the water and bubbles ready. Once its ready she turns away while you strip down and step in, letting your body sink into the hot water and lavendar bubbles. She immediately picks up water in a cup and pours it over your head, careful to not let it spill in your eyes, shes treating you like a mother treats an infant but you dont have the capacity to stop her. You sit in silence for a while as she brushes through the mats in your hair until you decide to speak up.

“May? Does he love me?” You croak out

She chuckles lightly before answering.

“When I first met Ben, I knew right away I loved him. He swept me away without knowing it. It was instant love, and I wouldn't trade it for the world. The way he looked at me made the world disappear and I knew it was the kind of love they write books about. The kind of love that turns rainy days from gloomy to comfy, turns blistering heat into warmth and fun, Ben turned everything into a fairytale effortlessly.

When you and Peter were in the 7th grade, and we threw him the birthday party, that youd planned most of, I remember looking at Ben and he was looking at me with the fairytale look. Ya know the one all the hot actors do in movies. Anyway, he was giving me that look and when I turned my head and watched you give Peter his present, I saw him give you the look, and you gave it right back it was precious. After that, everyday I saw you standing with Peter, he looked at you with the fairytale look, When he talks about you its with the same adoration he talks about Ben.

There is no doubt in my mind Peter loves you with every bone in his super body, y/n. You’re young and he can be a bit niave sometimes but he loves you unconditionally honey. You love him more than he loves you and he loves you more than you love him.” She stops brushing my hair and without a word begins washing my body with bodywash. I didnt even realize I had started crying until I saw a tear fall into the tub.

“I love him May. I feel like I need him to breathe, to live. I just dont understand how he could choose her over me.”

“Because hes a teenage boy and sometimes he doesnt think about what hw has, hes just like his uncle ben i’ll tell you that. You need to talk to him, maybe not now but soon, you need to tell him everything in your brain until its empty and your throat hurts from talking, and he will listen until his ears are sore from listening and his head hurts from understanding. Now, come get dressed and I’ll order us some pizza” May shakes her hands and drys them while handing you a fluffy towel.

She spends the rest of the night, telling you about this season of the Bachelorette while she helps you clean and do laundry.

“Thank you May.” You hug her as she grabs her purse to leave.

“Anything for you baby,” She kisses your head and wavees goodbye. You take a deep breathe and walkback to your room, plugging in your phone to charge.

After a few minutes it turns back on and slowly notifications start coming in, texts and calls and emails and dms from people and your old friends. You clear them all and head for you contacts, you find Peters name and decide to text instead of call.

peter

Hey

Can you come over?

hey, is everything okay?

I need to talk to you

Of course, I’m on my way.

You sigh and begin writing down everything you need to talk about, until you hear a knock on your window. You shakily stand up move towards your window, opening it and taking a step back.

“Hi” Peter whispers with his hands in his pockets.

“Hi” You whisper back.

“What’d you uh wanna talk about” Peter asks, slowly bouncing on the ball of his feet.

“Uh okay, um please sit. So um, as you probably know i haven’t been to school in a minute and uh that’s because ive been laying in my bed depressed and confused. May come over today and she helped a lot and she convinced me to talk to you about everything and that’s what i’m doing so I just need you to listen to everything in gonna spill out and i’m gonna do my best to make everything make as much sense as possible.” You look to Peter for confirmation and continue when he nods quickly.

“Okay uh first, I wanna say I’m sorry, for everything. For Brad, for ignoring you and yelling at you and for being a shitty friend. You were right about Brad and i’m sorry I didn’t listen to you, I just wanted so bad to be wanted ya know? I was feeling so insecure about you loving me that I ran to the first person that showed interest in me. I’m also sorry i basically ditched you guys for him, i just couldn’t look at any of you without feeling nearly sick. But i miss my best friends and I miss you Peter.

I’ve known since we were children that you were special to me. I always assumed it was one sided because I’d seen you go after other girls so i felt like there was no way you could ever love me as much as i love you, but I know now that you do, or did or do i don’t know but I do know that for me, you’re everything I need. We’re soulmates Pete, I can feel it. I feel deep in my heart that the universe made us just to be together and being without you would be to deny the universe herself and who am i? I need you so much when you aren’t around me i can barely breathe and a part of me is missing. I love you unconditionally and I always have.

What you did with Mj killed me, shattered my heart because I felt like once again, you chose her over me, your bestfriend and girlfriend and I hated that feeling each time I got it. The night i broke up with you I cried until my head hurt to much to stay awake, i felt stupid for thinking you wanted me more than her and I understood it. I looked at Mj and it felt like a no brained to pick her but it still never felt right. I know you didn’t mean it and we’re still so young peter. We’re basically kids trying to form a life long relationship and we don’t know what we’re doing. I don’t know how or what i’m going to do but I wanna be with you peter. I would have to take it slow of course but that’s where i’m at with us. So um yea.” You let out a sigh of relief of getting everything off your chest. You look away from Peter and wipe the tears that had fallen during your mini speech.

“I love you. I do. So much. Ever since our breakup i’ve been planning and wondering how to get you back. I felt lost without you and I never wanted you to feel less than. You’re perfect in every way y/n. You’re my oxygen and MJ is honestly just a friend. She could never make me feel the way you make me feel. We’ve got May and Ben type of love babe I swear we do. It was a stupid mistake but of you give me another chance I promise I will spend the rest of my life proving to you you mean the world to me and i will choose you again and again. I love you y/n and i want you to always know that.” Peter speaks through tears as he pulls your body close to his. He whispers how much he loves you against your temple as you break down and sob into his chest.

“Can you stay the night?” You whisper up at him.

“Will you let me take you out? Friday?” He looks hopefully at you. You smile lightly and bite your lip.

“Yes.”

“Then yes. I’ll stay with you” He kisses your forehead once more, before pulling you both under the covers to cuddle into you fall asleep to the beat of peters heart.

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#tom holland headcanon #tom holland #peter x reader #peter parker imagine #peter parker x reader #peter parker #spiderman x reader #spiderman imagine #brad davis #imagine

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lostandwonlove · 5 years

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In a Lonely Place

Some Rafa ramblings courtesy of the ‘Rona. Hope you like.

On paper, there was no way she would ever be interested in someone like you.

You, the mature, meticulous, ADA. She, the prodigious detective recently transferred to Manhattan SVU from some Podunk police department upstate.

Really, Liv? You had asked her as she walked you to her office to discuss the new serial rapist case they’d just caught. There was no one experienced enough in any of the other five boroughs to take this job? Or has Carisi put you off that for life?

Just wait until you meet her, Rafa. She’s done some pretty incredible stuff up there, and I think she’ll be a great addition to the team.

You’d harrumphed. Do they even have juries up there or do is it just a farmer and his 11 sheep?

Just ten actually, you heard a voice say and it made you jump.

I’m sorry?

The owner of the voice, a dark-haired woman in a leather jacket perched on the edge of Liv’s desk, got up and walked towards you. Just ten sheep actually. One of them got caught by the big bad wolf. Real shame. Farmer’s sheepdog makes up the twelve, but honestly, his attention span is poor.

You smirked. So in that sense maybe not all that different from a New York City juror.

Her eyes flicked over you, appraising the candy-cane shirt and tie combo you’d opted for that morning. Well I can see why if you’re wearing that outfit in court.

You’d do well to take a leaf out of my book. Biker-chic doesn’t play well with a jury here.

Play nice, Liv had interjected before taking you through the case they’d built so far.

Your eyes met behind Liv’s head and she smiled at you, mouthed touché, and you felt a sort of uncomfortable lurch in your stomach that you hadn’t really felt since Lauren Sullivan in 11th Grade.

Best to ignore it. No way she would ever be interested in someone like you.

ii.

- or might she? The way she caught your eye and held it for just a second too long in meetings; the way her eyes flicked over you before she made some comment about the tie you’d taken far too long to choose that morning; the way she always managed to end up sandwiched next to you in the booth at Forlini’s after a big case.

The way she told Amanda ‘all my boyfriends have been older than me’ in response to a drunken conversation about silver foxes, her eyes resting square on you as you felt your heart leap before she burst out laughing and took a sip of her drink.

So what’s your type counsellor, Carisi had asked you, and uncharacteristically relaxed after a big win and two scotches, you’d told him it was girls who wear hoop earrings. You can take the boy out of the Bronx you’d said while the squad hollered around you, so loudly that you almost missed when she leant forward, tucked her hair behind her right ear and pointed at a scar on her earlobe. Learned the hard way that hoop earrings and chasing down perps really don’t mix, she whispered and her warm breath in your ear made your stomach lurch again –

iii.

Alarm goes off at 6.00am. First cup of coffee ten minutes later. You check your emails while you brush your teeth and shave.

Three times a week you jog, just enough to get the doctor off your back about your cholesterol.

Get dressed. Cufflinks, pocket square, tie.

You don’t eat breakfast, never have, even though you can always hear your mother’s voice telling you it’s the most important meal of the day.

Briefcase, packed the night before, by the door. Second cup of coffee on your way to the subway. In the office by 7.30, saying good morning to the night-time security guards who are just about to come off shift.

It’s been that way ever since you can remember.

It’s the same single-mindedness and determination that got you out of Jerome Avenue and to where you are now.

She is no less determined, but where you are all clean lines and black and white, she is hazy, mixed up and all different shades of grey. She always seems to be running late for something, has a messenger bag full of scrunched up old receipts and crumbs and hair ties, leaves the squad car filled with empty soda cans and takeaway boxes.

You find yourself compiling facts about her life. Two brothers, one older one younger, a roommate who works in the mayor’s office, a landlord who was taking forever to fix a dripping faucet in the bathroom. One date that went badly, one date that went realllly well as you overheard her tell Amanda in the break room, and one date that didn’t happen at all.

I need to get off those apps, you heard her tell Fin one day as she fiddled with her phone, waiting outside the court room for a verdict, and you found yourself silently agreeing.

iv.

- all this before you knew that she slept on the right hand side of the bed; hated coffee but drank gallons of diet coke; could do a killer impersonation of Chief Dodds; loved nothing more than classic movie marathons on TCM, your neighbour’s Labrador puppy which reminded her of her childhood dog, Dex, sleeping past noon at the weekend, the crusts of pizza dipped into hot sauce–

Home. Sometimes 9pm, sometimes later.

You pick up dinner along the way. Sushi, salad, noodles. Or leftovers wrapped in foil from Sunday lunch with your mother.

You eat at the dining table, case files spread out in front of you. One scotch, maybe two.

Bed. Sleep, when it comes, is fitful.

More and more you find yourself joining in for squad drinks – ignoring Fin’s raised eyebrows – or taking the slightly longer route past the bar on your way to the subway just in case they’re there – although really you’re doing it for the extra exercise and the fresh air, and it takes you past one of the better bodegas, anyway…

One night in January you run into her on the courthouse steps after a particularly gruesome first trial day and you fall into step.

Is it always like that? She asked, jerking a thumb in the direction of the courthouse.

With Buchanan as defence counsel? Pretty much. You did a great job with your testimony though; you have nothing to worry about.

She gave a half smile. Only because I have a really good ADA.

You reach the bottom of the steps in companionable silence and as you think about the leftover Pad Thai and empty silence waiting for you back at your apartment, you find yourself doing something you haven’t done for a while.

Do you want to grab a drink? You blurt out, and already regret it. I mean, I was going to with Liv but she had to bail to go pick up Noah and it’s been a long day and…

Sloppy seconds, huh? She raises an eyebrow at you.

No, I just mean…

She smiles. Lucky for you, I have no objections to that. But I’m picking.

vi.

- when you told her later, much later, that you hadn’t asked Liv for a drink, never had any intention of doing so, she’d just laughed, told you she’d waited on the steps for half an hour in the hope she’d run into you –

vii.

The place she picks is some dingy, basement dive bar, Dempsey’s, Kelly’s, Dennehy’s, something like that – a place you must have walked past hundreds of times but never really noticed.

This feels like the type of place where my defendants would hang out. You feel out of place in your three-piece suit and cashmere scarf, and can’t ignore the stares of some of the other patrons who were clearly confused as to why you were there, and with her no less. Judging from the bottles behind the bar, you were going to have to find something other than Scotch to drink.

Yeah, your defendants and me. She pulls off her coat and jumps up onto a stool at the bar, where the tattooed bartender places two bottles of generic lager in front of her.

Thank you Stan, she smiles sweetly. And…? She gestures throwing back a shot and he laughs and nods, pouring tequila into two shot glasses and placing them besides the beer. He gives you a perfunctory nod, clearly puzzled as to why she’s with you.

So this is where you hide then. You take a sip of the beer and try not to wince. You can’t remember the last time you drank beer.

Does that mean you’ve been looking for me then, Mr Barba? She smiles at you over the top of her beer and you feel yourself flush.

Only when I’m trying to track you down and reprimand you for illegal search and seizures. You emphasise illegal, and take another sip of beer. It’s beginning to grow on you.

That was one time, she says, in mock dismay, eyes opening wide. And it cracked that case, so I don’t know what you’re complaining about.

Me? Complain? Never.

She rolls her eyes. Ha. Well I’d rather have you on my side than anyone else.

I’m far too modest to respond to that.

She laughs and rolls her eyes. Modest and Rafael Barba in the same sentence is an oxymoron. It’s the first time you’ve heard her use your first name and you’re embarrassed that it gives you such a jolt of pleasure.

It’s true though, she continues. I’ve worked with some really dismal prosecutors in my time. Guys who turn up, collect a paycheck, go home again. I feel like you live and breathe this. Like you were always supposed to do it.

That’s weird, you quip. When I was younger I always wanted to be Hawkeye Pierce when I grew up.

She looks puzzled.

You groan and take another sip of your beer. No! You cry in mock dismay. You cannot be so young that you don’t know who Hawkeye is. MASH? Alan Alda?

She shakes her head and wrinkles her nose. When I was younger, I wanted to be Hannah Montana, she offers by way of consolation.

Oh Good God, you say as you rest your head in your hands. How old are you? But when you turn to look at her she’s smiling, her tongue between her teeth, and you can tell she’s messing with you.

Just kidding, she says. For me, it was the Pink Power Ranger.

Thank God. I was worried I was going to have to prosecute you for under-age drinking.

You both laugh at this, and then she stops suddenly. She leans closer to you and you wonder whether this is it, whether she’s going to kiss you. What she does feels much more intimate. She reaches over and grabs your tie, loosening the knot. You’re not in court now, Rafael. She clinks her shot glass to yours, tosses it back before she runs her hand through her hair and smiles at you. You notice, not for the first time, just how pretty she is.

viii.

- when you wake the next morning you realise you’ve slept through your alarm and two missed calls. Your head is pounding and your mouth feels like a cotton wool pad, but you realise, as you frantically splash water on your face that you can’t stop smiling like a maniac –

ix.

Nothing happened that time. Or the time after. Or the time after that.

When it did happen, it wasn’t at all how you imagined. In your head, you were cooler, calmer, way more collected. It was you who initiated it, you who would open up and tell her how you felt at the bar after a couple of drinks. You would ask her out, set a date, pick somewhere nice, dress up.

In reality, the bar rang last call and she signalled for two shots.

No, not again, you laughed. I’m still having to grovel after turning up later after the last time.

Who said one of these was for you? She knocked both of them back herself, one after the other.

Dutch courage she told you and your puzzled expression as she placed one hand on each of your knees, jumping down for the bar stool to stand in between your legs, so that you were eye level. I’ve come to the conclusion that you’re never going to act on anything, so I’ve got to do it myself.

Your heart quickened. What…

But she cut you off as she covered your mouth with hers, her breath warm and sickly sweet from the shot. You felt her mouth curve into a smile as you kissed her back. Good, she murmured. It wasn’t just my imagination.

- God, you were like a horny teenager or something, hands all over her at the bar, continuing outside in the street after you were finally kicked out. You weren’t thinking straight, weren’t thinking anything at all really. Only a bunch of drunk Wall Street bros wolf-whistling broke you out of your reverie, and you stood, staring at each other, panting, lips parted. She pulled at the bottom of your jacket and pressed her body into yours. Well Rafael, I’d invite you back to mine but I have a roommate so –

xi.

In the end, you never really had that date you had planned. She just went from not being in your life to – well, being there.

Now you sleep until 7.30, wake rested, satiated, ready for the day. You drink your coffee in bed, gag in mock horror when she makes you eat breakfast, get dressed while she sings loudly in the shower.

You whistle on your way to the subway, say hi to the morning security team who you don’t recognise, buy coffee for Carmen and the other assistants on the corridor.

She splashes colour right across the black and white of your life.

She leaves coins that she empties out of her pockets on every available surface. She never puts the top back on the toothpaste, leaves the tube snarled and twisted because of her insistence on squeezing from the top and not from the bottom like a normal person. She folds down the corner of pages in books that you’ve kept pristine for years, chews on the end of your pens while she does the crossword, leaves the bed sheets in a crumpled mess, when she wakes up late than you, her damp towel on the bathroom floor.

You leave work on time. She cooks dinner. You work while she stretches out on her stomach on your L-shaped sofa watching black and white movies, while you pretend not to notice the red wine she spills on your cushions.

xii.

- without telling anyone, everyone else seems to know too. Amanda raises her eyebrows knowingly at you when you leave the precinct one night together. I’ve never seen you so relaxed, Liv says, it looks good on you. Most mortifyingly of all you run into Nick at a pharmacy, when he comes up behind you as you’re picking up a box of condoms. Evening counsellor, he says, smirking as he strides past you, turning to wink at you -

xiii.

We’re a bit like them, she had said one night, gesturing to the flickering screen in your apartment where some old black and white movie was playing.

Hmmm, you responded, barely paying attention as your eyes scanned a case file at the dining table behind the sofa where she lounged in shorts and a vest top.

Lauren Bacall and Humphrey Bogart, she said. He was the older, debonair man. She was the sultry younger woman. She paused stretching her legs up in the air seductively, cocking an eyebrow at you.

You laugh half-heartedly. I always thought of myself more as a Gary Cooper.

She looks at you appraisingly. No, definitely a Bogie.

Oh, great, you say. The guy who was so much older than his partner that he died about ten years after they got married.

But he drank and smoked like a sailor.

You raised your glass of scotch to her, tapping it with your index finger. One out of two ain’t bad.

Yeah you need to cut down on those.

And who was it I had to put to bed last week because she drank too much red wine and fell asleep in the taxi home?

She stuck her middle finger up at you. I’m not an old man though.

You grimaced, your exaggerated facial expression only just masking the real pang that shot through you with her words.

She rolled over and jumped off the sofa, stretching and arching her back so that her vest top lifted and you could see the smooth, pale skin of her stomach.

Careful, you’ll give this old man a heart attack.

She turned towards him and grinned. Right on cue, on screen Lauren Bacall turned to Humphrey Bogart.

You know how to whistle, don’t you Rafa? You just put your lips together and blow. She purred as she pushed your papers to one side and straddled you, just before showing you what else her lips could do.

xiv.

- but then all of a sudden it’s sloppy mistakes, uncrossed t’s and undotted i's. It’s McCoy in your office, eyebrows raised in surprise that he’s even having to pull you up on these things. I don’t know what’s got you distracted he says, but I need you to sort it out before we really blunder, the DA’s office can’t afford another mistake –

xv.

On weekends you sleep in, go out for brunch. You walk round the park, laugh as she refuses to accept your help with the crossword. You make plans to try that new French place that’s opened across the street from your apartment, to help her paint her room, to take her skiing.

One weekend you barely even leave the bedroom. After the third time you ask her to slow down, I’m an old man, I’m not like the young studs you’re used to.

She grins and rolls to splay on top of you, her face fitting into the crook of your neck where she says you smell most like you. And where can I find these young studs of which you speak she murmurs, biting your earlobe causing you both to start convulsing with laughter until you’re both on top of each other again and your laughter is replaced by something else entirely.

xvi.

- you seen Barba’s new piece? You hear a male voice, one you don’t recognise, come into the restroom. Whoever he’s with laughs. Yeah, who would have thought? Must be some real Daddy issues going on there. Then there’s a crude joke about what you’re like in bed. You feel your face burn with anger, but also shame, and you wait until they’re gone before you unlock the cubicle and come out to wash your hands –

xvii.

One Sunday you take her to lunch with your mom. When you pick her up she’s wearing a dress, carrying a bottle of red wine. Is this OK? She asks. Do you think she’ll like it? She fusses with her hair as you knock on the door and wait and you squeeze her hand in reassurance.

You eat your mother’s ropa vieja and hide your embarrassment by drinking your wine while your mother tells the story of how she knew you were going to be a lawyer after you’d argued you, Eddie and Alex out of detention for breaking up a fight on the school bus.

She compliments your mother on her home, asks to see photos of you as a child, clears the table without being asked and gets to work washing up in the kitchen.

Your mother eyes you over the table. You look happy, she says finally.

Why do I feel like that’s not a compliment, you ask.

She takes a sip of her wine. She’s much younger than I was expecting, mijo. Just be careful. I don’t want you to get hurt.

You make some joke about not being as fit as you once were, but that you weren’t that worried about your cardiac health while she fixed you with a pointed look.

xviii.

- she carries home a Tupperware container filled with leftovers on the subway, asks you how she did, if your mom liked her. She tells you that her big brother is going to be in New York for work next month, that maybe you can all go for dinner at that Thai place you tried last week. You kiss her on the lips and tell her that sounds great, not without noticing the looks you get from the two women sitting across from you who whisper something to one another, the man standing by the door with headphones on who smirks at you –

xix.

You start to doubt yourself.

You notice how the eyes of younger men, better looking men, men with biceps and triceps and god knows what other else-ceps, linger on her when she walks by. The unis in the squad room, the court officers, the barista in the coffee shop by your apartment.

You become ever more aware of the grey hairs creeping into your sideburns, of the way your shirt stretches across your stomach.

You don’t miss the glances her friends exchange with one another when you’re the first to leave drinks to head home.

Jailbait, you hear. Cradle robber. Mid-life crisis. Barba? Thought he was gay. Must be rich, huh.

It starts to feel wrong, illicit. You lie and tell her you need to stay late at work, that maybe it’s best if she doesn’t come over tonight, you’ll see her at the weekend.

xx.

- you don’t tell her how much it hurts when she sends you a selfie of her and Carisi and Amaro later that night. Her eyes are scrunched up in a smile and she has one arm draped lazily over Nick’s shoulder, while Sonny’s hand grabs her waist. Hope work going ok, she texts with a winky face emoji. You lock your phone and place it face down on the coffee table at home where you’ve been all evening, drinking scotch and watching CSPAN –

xxi.

You’ve never really broken up with someone before. It’s strange for someone who’s normally so assertive, so intentional about their life and their work, but you’ve either just let things fizzle out slowly or pull back long enough for the other person to break up with you.

That doesn’t work this time.

We need to talk, she says as you open your front door to you one night. You’re caught off guard, expecting the delivery driver with your Chinese, and she marches straight past you, arms folded, mouth in a line.

What the hell is going on with you?

Nothing, you say. I’ve just been busy. I keep meaning to call you.

Seriously? She says. That’s what you’re going with?

Unusually, you find yourself lost for words, stunned into silence by her eyes that are shiny with rage. You try to think of something clever to say but find yourself only able to shrug half-heartedly.

Because from my point of view you’re behaving like a frat boy asshole, and I’m way too old to have to deal with that shit anymore. I don’t understand… She tails off, as if she’s tired herself out. She collapses on the sofa and you realise that her eyes are not shining with rage, but with something else entirely. Hurt.

What did I do, Raf?

You didn’t do anything you want to say. You’re beautiful and perfect and incredible and deserve so much more than me and what everyone else says about us. You’re better off without me and I wish things were different. You don’t say any of that, throat so thick with emotion that you barely trust yourself to speak at all.

I just don’t see this working out, you say instead.

She stares at you wordlessly, apparently waiting for you to continue. When you don’t, she stands, winds the scarf she’s been holding in her hand around her neck and moves to leave. She stops at the door, looks back at you. God, I’ve been such a fucking idiot, haven’t I.

You move towards her, reaching a handout to touch your shoulder. I still really want us to be frie…

She recoils like you just slapped here. Don’t even say it, she had snapped suddenly, pulling away from you, eyes flashing. Fuck you.

And then she’s gone, door slamming behind her, leaving you stunned into silence until its broken by the door buzzer going again. Your Chinese food has arrived.

xxii.

- only to have that thrown back in your face months later when you joined the squad for drinks, Amanda asking what had happened to you guys, oh we decided that we’re better off as FRIENDS, she said, but you couldn’t miss the hard edge in her voice, the split second when she made direct eye contact with you –

xxiii.

Your alarm goes off at 6.00am. Coffee, emails, shower and shave.

You get dressed. Cufflinks, pocket square, tie, avoiding the yellow and black striped one she said made you look like a bumblebee.

Briefcase, coffee shop, subway. You ignore the security guards gossiping as they finish their shift, head straight to your office.

It’s always Nick or Amanda who come to collect the warrants or to drop off files now. When you’re forced to go down to the precinct for a line-up or to meet with Liv, she’s conspicuously absent, always out on a job or on a coffee run.

You think you catch a glimpse of her in a packed courtroom one day, but she leaves right as its adjourned, takes the stairs and doesn’t linger out on the courthouse steps.

Excellent job, says McCoy, fantastic work on the Barker case. The folks at City Hall are really taking notice. Rumours of a judicial appointment are circulating.

You go home late, when it’s already dark. It’s quiet. Your bed is perfectly made, the dishwasher stacked exactly how you like it, the towels are hung up. You turn on the lights, unpack your take-out and eat it alone at the dining room table in silence.

You like it better like this, you tell yourself. Everything back to the way it was.

xxiv.

- but sometimes you ran Turner Classic Movies while you worked late at night, until you caught a snippet of Humphrey Bogart speaking to a woman in a car. I was born when she kissed me, I died when she left me, I lived a few weeks while she loved me, he said. You turned it off and worked in silence for the rest of the month –

xxv.

She calls you once. It’s Thursday night, you’re still in the office.

Hey, she says, long and slow and you can tell she’s be drinking, can tell from the background noise that she’s probably still out somewhere. Her voice is warm and syrupy and you feel your stomach tighten.

I miss you, she says.

Please don’t do this, you ask.

Do what, she says. I just wanted to phone to speak to you. Like friends do. Her voice turns sharp and bitter then before she bursts out laughing.

I think you should go home.

There’s nothing on the end of the line then, just shouting and static.

Hello? You say.

Sorry, she slurs. I dropped the phone. What did you say?

I said I think you should hang up this call and go home. I think you’re going to regret this tomorrow morning.

OK Dad. She starts laughing again. Dad, that’s what everyone said to me when we were dating, like I had some sort of Electro complex.

Electra, you correct.

Yeah that’s the one. Which is ridiculous, because I just liked you so much.

She pauses. So so much.

You sigh. I’m going to hang up now, you tell her.

Not if I hang up first, she responds and then the line goes dead. You put your phone on silent and bury it at the bottom of your desk drawer but she doesn’t call back.

xxvi.

- she’s running late the next morning, Liv tells you as you sit in her office. Something about a broken shower. You see her walk in two hours later, sunglasses on, dumping her coat and her bag on the floor beside her desk, avoiding eye contact with anybody. When you leave Liv’s office she bolts from her desk, mutters something about needing some fresh air and she’s gone before you can say anything -

xxvii.

It’s a cold, overcast March Monday the next time you see her.

We need you up at Green Haven, Liv tells you over the phone. A low-level trafficker offering to spill on the rest of the organisation in exchange for a few years off a sentence. I’ll send someone up with you, I seem to remember Uber doesn’t go that far.

You roll your eyes at the joke that you’ve heard too many times for it to be funny. Just send anyone but Carisi, you say. That guy insisted on listening to Journey the whole way there and back.

When you head out to meet the car a couple of hours later, it’s not Carisi in the driver’s seat. It’s her, staring straight ahead, hands clutching the steering wheel, sunglasses on despite the clouds.

Save it, she says. I was all for inflicting Carisi’s one man Journey tribute act on you, but according to Liv I’m the only one who has a rapport with this guy.

xxviii.

- it’s not until you check your phone at a rest stop that you see the message from Liv with just the winky face emoji –

xxix.

The silence is excruciating. She fiddles with the radio as you head of the city but the reception keeps dropping in and out until the only station you can pick up is some call-in show about vegetable gardening that even she can’t stand listening to. She turns it off and you continue in silence.

The visit itself goes smoothly, the trafficker spills without any encouragement. You agree three years off the sentence if the information turns out to be true.

Then you’re back out again, her striding towards the card ahead of you. Hey, you say. Come on. I really don’t want to spend another 2 hours with you in complete silence. Can we talk?

She stops and turns to look at you. You know I’ve always thought Greenhaven Correctional Facility had the perfect ambience for difficult discussions with ex-lovers.

You laugh despite yourself. I didn’t mean here. Look, what was that place we passed on the turn-off on our way here? Ray’s? Jay’s?

As it turns out, it was Sal’s, and that’s where you found yourself sitting next to her on the hood of the car, drinking one of the worst cups of coffee you’ve ever had in your life. You’re both quiet for what seems like an age, the low hum of the cars passing on the highway the only sound.

I feel like I owe you an apology, you finally start.

She snorts derisively.

I treated you like a – what were the words you used again – ah yes, a fratboy asshole. That gets a weak laugh out of her. I’m sorry.

She shrugs in a way that seems defeated. I just don’t understand what happened, Rafa. I thought things were going great, I met your mom – which, you should know, is not something I do with every guy – and then next minute you’re just gone.

She takes off her sunglasses and looks at you dead in the eye for what’s probably the first time that day. I just want to know why.

You take a deep breath. Honestly? You ask.

Honestly, she says.

I got sick of people making comments about us. I’m what, 20 years older than you? And I look it too. It felt like everyone was judging me, making me feel like I was some sort of perv. I started to believe it; maybe it was disgusting, maybe you were better off without me.

She laughs outright at that. Seriously? Don’t you think I get to have a say in whether I’m better off without you? She says. Because I don’t think I am. People can say whatever they want to, I only care about what me and you say.

She pauses. Also, you are a bit of a perv.

That makes you laugh softly too. You know, I wish I’d had a girlfriend as mature as you when I was your age. I’d probably be in a lot better shape than I am now.

She purses her lips and moves her head from side to side as if she’s considering something. Yeah well, maybe you’d be married to them and you wouldn’t even have noticed me. And I’d probably be dating some fratboy asshole who could never make me nearly as happy as I was when I was with you.

You sit in silence briefly. Then you slide your hand over to cover hers laying on the hood. Was, you ask? Past tense.

She just takes a sip of energy drink from some luminescent can and makes a face. Ugh, she says. If I’m going to date you, maybe it’s finally time I learn to like coffee.

xxx.

When you open your eyes the next morning, its light and for the first time in a long time, you don’t remember having wakened in the night.

You can see a pile of change and scrunched up receipts on your bedside table. A pair of jeans thrown on the chair in the corner. You can hear the shower running and her voice as she sings along to the radio.

You smile.

#law and order svu #law and order: special victims unit #rafael barba #rafael barba x reader #svu #rafael barba imagine

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feycreature · 5 years

Note

Every other multiple of 2 as well as all prime numbers.

u are. mother fucker.

1. coffee mugs, teacups, wine glasses, water bottles, or soda cans?

coffee mugs. i have so many.

2. chocolate bars or lollipops?

lollipops but i dont eat sweets much to begin with

3. bubblegum or cotton candy?

bubblegum

5. do you prefer to drink soda from soda cans, soda bottles, plastic cups or glass cups?

i prefer to not drink soda

6. pastel, boho, tomboy, preppy, goth, grunge, formal or sportswear?

somewhere between goth and grunge side note what the fuck is boho

7. earbuds or headphones?

headphones

10. game you were best at in p.e.?

FLOOR HOCKEY. my sophomore year we cut our hockey unit short by a week because the Str8 Boys got mad that they didnt understand hockey and my team kicked ass

11. what you have for breakfast on an average day?

lunch.

13. lanyard or key ring?

i dont have keys.

14. favorite non-chocolate candy?

this is hard bc i dont eat sweets and i dont like chocolate much to begin with. im gonna go with starbursts

17. most frequently worn pair of shoes?

doc martens but theyre hiking boots

18. ideal weather?

60 degrees, sunny, not windy, maybe a little rainy.

19. sleeping position?

side, mostly

22. role model?

i try to live a life that would make taliesin jaffe proud

23. strange habits?

oh there are so many but the only one that comes to mind is blowing into cups when i take them out of the cupboard

26. favorite activity to do in warm weather?

oh fuck i love swimming. but i havent swam in years. and probably wont get to until i get top surgery. so im gonna go with jet skiing because i can actually Do that

29. best way to bond with you?

i was gonna say share music with me but. the real answer is play dnd with me i am not joking

30. places that you find sacred?

other peoples’ homes. thats not my place to Be thats not my place to interfere with i Hate being in other peoples homes. our last two store meetings have been at my managers’ houses and i HATE knowing where my managers live and i HATE that ive been in their houses and sat on their furniture and eaten their food that is Their Space im not their friend i do not belong there

31. what outfit do you wear to kick ass and take names?

any t shirt, ripped black jeans, tall docs with too many buckles, black denim jacket i turned into a vest with safety pins along the shoulders, an assortment of spiky accessories, probably eyeliner

34. advertisements you have stuck in your head?

my dad forces the o’reily’s jingle into my brain on a daily basis

37. suitcase or duffel bag?

duffel bag

38. lemonade or tea?

arnold palmer babey

41. last person you texted?

u, dork. altho if we’re talking actual phone number texting, then my mom

42. jacket pockets or pants pockets?

it depends what it is. if its something im definitely using and will be annoyed for sure if i leave in my jacket like my phone or wallet it goes in my pants pockets, if its something im temporarily holding or wont use any time soon like pens/my inhaler/pads/change it goes in my jacket

43. hoodie, leather jacket, cardigan, jean jacket or bomber jacket?

comfort and my actual wardrobe says jean jacket, but my heart and aesthetic say bomber jacket

46. most comfortable outfit to sleep in?

sweatshirt and underwear.

47. favorite type of cheese?

gouda i think

50. what made you laugh the hardest you ever have?

learning that one of my coworkers had a crush on one of the clowns from barnum and baileys and stands by it followed immediately by another coworker chiming in with “okay but teenage simba was HOT”

53. what is the current state of your hands?

cold and scabby (my tattoo is still healing)

54. what did you learn from your first job?

dont work in a warehouse. just dont.

58. four talents you’re proud of having?

i can draw, i can sing in front of people, id like to think im a good dm, and im apparently good enough at navigating customer service that in my year and a half at starbucks only ONE customer has ever complained about me and it was over something i said that she misheard

59. if you were a video game character, what would your catchphrase be?

i was going to say “based on what i say the most itd be okie dokie” but thats a lie by that logic it would actually be “hi! what can we get started for you?”

61. favorite line you heard from a book/movie/tv show/etc.?

“If I could pull the blood of you from my veins, I would.” -vex, critical role

62. seven characters you relate to?

OOH OKAY THIS WAS A LOT HARDER THAN I THOUGHT ITD BE

weiss schnee (rwby)

rabbit (steam powered giraffe)

wolf (kippo and the age of wonderbeasts)

scorpia (she-ra)

aubrey little (the adventure zone)

beauregard (critical role)

ruby rose (also rwby)

66. favorite flower(s)?

lillies!

67. good luck charms?

a collection of randomly found foreign change in my jacket pocket, a pretty d10 that was accidentally included in one of my dice orders in my Other jacket pocket

70. left or right handed?

so. im right handed. but im naturally left handed. my granny was one of those people who thinks left handed people are the devil so she forced me to use my right hand, so i default to using my left hand but its absolutely useless

71. least favorite pattern?

FUCK PAISLEY.

73. favorite weird flavor combo?

i know that this Means like mint chocolate or pineapple on pizza or something but. toffee nut and peppermint starb syrups. nobody believes me that its good except the supervisor that got me to try it. its good i swear.

74. at what pain level out of ten (1 through 10) do you have to be at before you take an advil or ibuprofen?

about a 6 unless its a prescription. if i can stand im gonna suck it up

78. coffee from a gas station or sushi from a grocery store?

im rly paranoid about foodborne illness so i Have to go with gas station coffee even tho im a little bit of a coffee snob

79. which looks better, your school id photo or your driver’s license photo?

jokes on u i dont have either!

82. pc or console?

pc is this even a question

83. writing or drawing?

drawing

86. cookies or cupcakes?

89. who would you put before everyone else?

buster.

90. luckiest mistake?

the other day i made a drink wrong and more complicated that it needed to be and the moment i realized my mistake someone came through the drive thru and ordered the EXACT drink i had just made by mistake

94. favorite season?

fall, hands down

97. how many phone numbers do you have memorized?

exactly one and its mine

98. favorite historical era?

romantic.

#nick speaks #motherfucker.#pull-like-hematite

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frangipanidownunder · 6 years

Text

Fic: Three times Scully buzzed Mulder and one time he buzzed her

Based on the vibrator/blobfish blooper. How many times did Scully startle Mulder with that vibe? NSFW at the end. Tagging @today-in-fic

She swore the first time it was an accident. Mulder wasn’t supposed to be there. He’d dropped by with a housewarming gift – a peace lily – to surprise her. She really didn’t need another dead plant on her conscience but there he stood at the entry, smiling up into the security camera, with a glazed white pot in one hand and a bottle of zinfandel in the other and that ‘how could you turn me away grin’ on his face. How could you turn him away?

His ass looked fine in those skinny jeans as he walked through the apartment nodding here and peering there, approving of the gadgets, pressing all the buttons on the keypads and picking up every remote. Finally, he settled into her chair by the fireplace. Adele was playing in the background. Pizza was on its way anyway. Why not just go with the flow?

She sipped the wine as he yammered on about how some Reddit thread about fauna he’d jumped on had turned feral and she half wondered if the houseplant was a sign she’d missed or some kind of new euphemism. She chanced a Google, punctuating his ever wilder story with the occasional nod and ‘oh’. Urban Dictionary listed nothing for peace lily, but calla lily seemed to suggest a soft woman who was hot in bed. She tried to hide her cough of surprise but it caught his attention.

“Bones in the wine, Scully?” The smile that spread across his face showed her just how much she missed casual evenings on that couch in their shitty little house. Now, she sat opposite him, regretting her choice of the two single-seaters. Everything seemed so clinical, so isolated. There was nothing to connect them.

Mulder carried on his lurid tale and she looked at her phone to see the street definition of houseplant. An antisocial guy who ignores his girlfriend. She took a large sip of wine and hit the back button. A buzz. A yelp. And Mulder leapt up.

“What the fuck was that?”

Her phone clattered to the floor as she stood up too. The buzzing continued, muffled but insistent. He pulled up the cushions and she sucked in a horrified breath. Fuck. His long fingers wrapped around its pink girth and her cheeks flushed a complementary shade. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

“Oh my, Scully. One is the loneliest number,” he said, holding up the Je Joue.

If the office was a trusty old friend, motels were the two-faced bitch who’d draw you in for a hug then snap at you for being overly familiar. Adjoining rooms, sounds of Mulder murmuring. Was he on his cell, talking to real people or vocally admiring internet porn? She messaged him.

Take out?

Eat out?

Wtf?

Lol.

Don’t lol me Mulder.

You wtf’d me, Scully. I can lol you if I want.

You said you wanted to eat me out.

“There’s no way I would be that crude, Scully.” His real voice was always a honeyed surprise. She shivered despite herself as he walked through the door.

“Make yourself at home,” she said, as he lounged on her bed.

“Besides, if I wanted to do that, I’d ask you properly.”

“And, pray tell,” she said, sitting next to him and relishing the dip in the mattress that meant their thighs slid together. “What is the proper way to ask to eat someone out?”

He took her cell from her hands and smiled that lazy, arrogant, sexy grin. Before he could answer, a buzz. A yelp. A guttural groan and he pushed his hand under his ass.

“The fuck, Scully?” He whipped out the vibe. Her skin burned. He held it up to the light, inspecting it. Her breath left her body. “You love this thing, don’t you?”

“Mulder…”

“You take it everywhere, it gets to sit on the couch with you, you take it to bed with you…”

“You make it sound like a pet.”

He shrugged. “I was going to say boyfriend, but whatever floats your boat, Scully.”

There was a magic moment of silence, weighted, where she waited for his next jibe but it didn’t come. He simply slipped the vibe back under his legs and she heard his lips pop open. He picked up her cell. “What do I press, Scully?”

iii

Her apartment was toast. Burnt out. The smell of smoke lasted longer than the sadness she felt at saying goodbye. The living had been Spartan, cool, short-term. Their house was more shabby than chic but she felt its warm welcome as she walked up the steps and pulled open the fly wire. Mulder had cleaned up. Kind of. There was less clutter on the shelves, only a small pile of magazines on the side tables, the fridge was newly stocked, the kitchen cupboards reasonably full. And there was always something comforting about the way Mulder used the staircase as a library. In fact, the smell of knowledge always left her feeling a little horny.

He helped her with her bags, standing them on the landing between the main bedroom and the spare. There were more piles of books, pushed against the walls between the doors. She liked to think of it as a bridge of words, connecting their minds.

“I think it’s too early,” she said, watching him deflate a little.

He took the bags into the spare and stood in the doorway, arms folded. “Thank you for choosing chez Mulder,” he said.

She indulged him with a genuine smile. “I’ve heard the hospitality is second to none.”

“The spare room has a particular vibe…I’ll let you get settled in.”

His hand was a familiar weight in her hand. “Help me unpack?”

He folded, tucked, hung and layered without a word. There was one small bag left, a Maine holdall that reminded her of killer dolls and mass hysteria. Crazy times when inanimate objects took on a life of their own. She tipped it upside down on the bed, contents rolling out haphazardly. Mulder sat, sending the contents rolling side to side. Her phone sparked to life in her hip pocket and she fished it out, walking to the landing to answer. The connection was hinky and she paced to find the best spot.

Bill took too much of her time with family stuff and preaching, and by the time she opened the door again, Mulder was lying across the bed, on his side, face covered in a silk slip she hadn’t worn since forever but couldn’t part with. She imagined the smell of that item to him was comparable to his books to her. Memories, skin, romantic nostalgia.

Climbing behind him, she draped an arm over his and he pulled her hand to his, tucking it between his legs. A buzz, a low growl and she felt him flinch and twitch.

“I was hoping you’d do that,” he hissed as the vibration continued. “I swear, Scully, if you ever find out how to properly control this thing, it’ll be such a downer.”

It would be a cold day in hell when she’d eat sushi again. And as for blobfish? Never again. Mulder shook his head and grabbed her hand, hurrying them out of the restaurant.

“We’re out of here,” he said, wrapping her jacket round her shoulders. The air was fresh. But the company was warm. Mulder was home. It didn’t matter where the physical location was, as long as he was there, it was a welcome place. It had taken her 25 years to realise it, but she had now and driving up the gravel path to their home, uneven roof, holey fly wires, splintered steps, Ikea furnishings, nothing else mattered other than his presence by her side.

Her clothes might have hung in the wardrobe next door, but her heart hung over the bed in the main room. She luxuriated in the Egyptian cotton comfort while Mulder cleaned his teeth. The night was ink-dark and the soft golden pool of light from the bedside lamp spilled warmth over her side of the bed. His smile was as promising.

“Have I told you lately that I love you?”

“It’s a marvellous night for a moon dance,” she said, pulling back the sheets.

“Is that a euphemism?”

“Call it what you will, Mulder.” He was warm and pliant in her arms, kissing her with familiar passion.

Divesting themselves of clothes took no time and skin-to-skin, she wrapped her leg over his hips and ground herself against him. They fitted together perfectly. Always had. It felt so good, sparking waves of pleasure from the inside out. He mumbled into her neck and her nipples stood on end.

“There’s something I want to do for you, Scully.”

She imagined his head between her legs, bristled chin chafing her thighs and a flush of liquid pooled at her centre. But instead, he reached over her and fumbled in the drawer.

“I think we’re a little beyond needing protection, Mulder.”

He chuckled and rolled her onto her back. “No barriers, Scully.”

“What is it?”

A buzz. A deep, resonant hum. And she couldn’t tell if it was the vibe or her. He pressed it to her and she parted her legs with a deep sigh. His breath poured over her, warming her chin, neck, chest, before his lips found a nipple and at once she purred, pulsated. His insistent massaging played in rhythm to his licking and sucking and she was about ready to implode.

“Fuck, Mulder. This is unbearable.”

“Tell me what you want, Scully.”

She couldn’t put the words together as he pressed the vibe against her clit. No matter how many different ways she played with this thing, there was no beating the confident hand of the man she loved. She bucked up to meet it, heels digging into the mattress. Wet heat escaped her and his cock leaked against her thigh. “I want you to fuck me. Just you. In me. Now.”

It was a whirlwind of skin and slickness and thrusting and bumping. He pounded and she pushed up, she groaned and he bit, he pulled her arms above her head, she shifted her feet to his shoulders, he knelt and she screamed. Stars burst behind her eyes. It took a long time to come down and when she finally did, she heard the buzz and the whirr and then the crash of deafening silence as the Je Joue fell to the floor.

“I think we broke it,” Mulder said, half-laughing. “How will you survive without it?”

She pushed his fingers against her still pulsating clit. “I think I’ll cope.”

#txf fanfic #my fanfiction #todayinfic #season 11 #blobfish and vibrators

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bebaexoexo · 7 years

Text

Shit Oh Sehun did in 2017

-Mistook Jeonghan (svt) for Johnny (nct)

-Movie date with suho

-Slayed at the gaon chart award show with a solo dance

-Paris vacation/date with suho

-Got called best dressed man at a Louis Vuiton catwalk and then proceeded to spend the next day walking around Paris with a hood, baseball cap and a cowboy hat on his head all at one time

-Revealed his bed time snuggle routine with Suho, no shame attached

-Was supposed to debut as an Actor Oh in February, but didn’t…

-Was supposed to debut as an Actor Oh in March, but didn’t…

-Got an award for being himself (popularity award)

-Was supposed to debut as an Actor Oh in April, but didn’t…(NoT EvEn a FRackin TraIleR)

-Waved to a tablet instead of the camera, tried to play it cool by continuing to do so

-Posted about his big chilli… 0.0

-Got 15 points on a drawing game while everyone else got over 100 (he drew love hearts and wrote ‘I’m sorry’ for everything and still couldn’t accept being last)

-Howled because of sour pickles

-Members accuse him of being the prime suspect when food goes missing in the fridge, he agrees

-Used binoculars the wrong way round and couldn’t understand why he couldn’t see (Suho to the rescue and an embarrassed osh as a result)

-Gets driven around by big brother chanyeol

-CAN SING (might as well be in exo’s vocal line)

-Biyak Biyak 4 lyfe

-Rubbed his head on a random guy’s stomach (who looks like he’s his sugar daddy)

-Made suho sad because he didn’t go to a premier with him, but went to a festival with Chanyeol and guy whose stomach he rubbed his head on

-Danced (????) at said music festival. By dance I mean chicken fingers at the crowd wtf @ exo’s main dancer

-Can ya tell iv given up on the debut of Actor Oh

-Graced his instagram with such artistic pictures of rice, spoons and cereal

-Only one ft BoA returns

-KING OF SPOILERS sehun the cereal rice (kokobop) poster

-KING OF SPOILERS PT2 dancing the dance with kai can you all please stop this isn’t good for me

-Comments ‘is this exo’s official account?’ On exo’s official account

-“What did you do in preperation for this album?” “Loyalty”

-Passionately talked about eel reproduction

-“Favorite fruit?” “Water with ice”

-Gave flowers to the members because he’s their cute baby omfh (it was a punishment but same thing)

-*gives Kai a rose* “it fits you, you’re sexy and dark red suits you”

-Baekhyun confirms Sehuns big DIACK

-“Sehun has absolutely no interest I’m women. How do I know? Sehunnie said he has no interest in women”- Baekhyun

-Bragged about a really good noodle place, took 30+ people to eat and payed for them- but the food was disappointing

-“Say something to the EXO-L for their birthday” *sehun claps*

SUPER ELLE

-*brags about his dog at every chance he gets, literal protective father to vivi* “I am a cat person”

-EXOTOURAGRAM AKA SEHO AND FRIENDS

-“We’ve been roommates for 6 years I want to cross the line”

-Producer Oh

-“I’ve arrived!” \(-°o°-)/

-Date in NYC with suho (ft the third wheel JD)

-Pulls out chair for suho

-“Its enough just to film me, suho’ s voice in the background is fine”

-Couldn’t believe that a waitress in NYC can’t speak Korean

-Theatre date with suho (ft the late third wheel JD)

-Kicks suho out of their room

-SBS power fm- more like 2 hours of sehun whinning and crying from embarrassment while suho laughs

-“I really like chocolate milk. I think it’s love”

-“Sehunnie is upset~ upset~ really really upset… huhuu” AEGAO KING WHAY

-“I’ve been having a hard time too. At times like this, we should all embrace each other. There’s something I always tell the members and that is to to ‘hug/embrace (me)’. Let’s cheer each other on, got it everyone? Cheer up always and yea, that’s it” and this is why we love our baby

-Sehun irl- “I love all my hyungs to the moon and back #se-rang-hai-yo” Sehun in manwha- “who cares”

-LA date with suho

-DING DONG

-“Let’s goo” \(^o^!)__

-Just sehun trying to control his face while riding the drift car

-King of being HOT, calm and panicking at the same time when their car stalled

-Also Oh Sehun driving someone hold me

-Heart-shaped sweatpatch on his back

-“Excuse me… sir… ketchup ketchup yahh… thank you”

-“The hardest time isn’t when we have a lot of schedule but when the members have different opinions (argue). It saddens me a lot”

-Me me da

-Fan- “do sehun and i have something in common?” Sehun- “we’re human”

-Las Vegas date with suho

-Volunteers suho to go sky diving first like the little shit he is

-Wears a dress shirt and leather shoes to sky diving

-Acts like he isnt shitting himself on the zipwire

-Shamelessly wore nothing underneath an easily unzip-able hoodie

-MC Oh

-“Who is the scariest hyung?” “All of them”

-Tries to prank suho by putting a sticker on him, fails misrebly and then loses the sticker

-White suit blue shirt

-Chanyeol saying Sehuns voice is so good he wants to produce him PLEs

-Teary eyed sehun as eXO WIN RHE PRIME MINISFERS AWARD WWKBDUDBDJ

-Hello councellor MC’s @ seho “stop touching eachother are you guys coming out right now?”

-Sehun @ LVTN

-Gets customised bags from LVTN

-Sehun @ Moncler (also makes the CEO come out just to take pictures with him we love a powerful man)

-Peace signs in his pockets when hes told not to do it

-Doesnt follow seungri back on insta because aesthetics

-Omfg okay elyxion antics begins here

-SHIRTLESS SEHUN IMDG THAT BOY JUST THREW OFF THAT JACKETS WTF I JUST GOT OUT OF WORK AND THATS THE FIRST THING I SEE ON INSTA WTF OMG MY HEART I DONT EVEN KNOW WHATS GOING ON YET BUT I SAW FOKKIN RIPPED SEHUN AND SHIT THATS JISTVTJE LIFE OMG THIS IS GONNA BE LIT

-Wrote and co produced his solo In At thE CONCERT COZ WE LOVE A TALENTED KING

-Lovingly strokes suhos face during touch it

-Comforts kai, upset because he made a mistske in his solo, during cmb

-Danced to ka-ching with CBX

-Suho “after our concert ended at midnight yesterday, sehun and i went back to our door and boiled 20 eggs. 2 adult men peeled them seriously and ate 10 eggs”

-Kisses baekhyuns neck

-Eats pizza at the concert after holding back for months, members happy give us one last chance at seeing THE ABS

-Went crazy and got chanyeol too drunk on his birthday

-Fansites “please dont crop our watermark we work really hard for these pictures” Sehun ;)

-Cute instalive of him just trying on the filters and telling us not to be stressed and play

-SEHUN IN DEAR HAPPINES OMG GREY SEHUN IS DA BESTZ IN A THIN WHITE SHIRT OMG

-“OK!! goo” *pouts*

-“Hey dog, look at me~”

-“Cheese many manyyy”

-*is just standing there posing* Photographer “youre cute”

-Didnt know it was just him, kai and baekhyun in the lightsaber mv

-“Sehunnie makes the most delicious soju” byun baekhyun

-LEON KOREA

-Makes a personal training room in their dorm that can barely fit his own ass

-Supports suho at his musical despite both going through a tough time

-Struggles with the rudolph hat

-SINGING IN UNIVERSE YES DAS MA BETCH

-Subtly strokes suhos face on a national award show

-Make chanyeol kneel whenever he wants something from him. We love our king

-Curly haired solo on mbc gayo

-A beautiful family picture from Oh Sehun to end 2017

——–

Cr. Lerandomexotic

I had a lot of fun making this, just thought i needed to record sehuns never ending loveble antics etc

Feel free to add whatever else i missed

Hopefully he’ll just keep getting crazier next year too, and exo themselves will grow to be greatet and stronger

Like, reblog & excel

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arosebyan0thername · 2 years

Text

TW for disordered eating under the readmore

My blood pressure is definitely getting worse; I'm on a medication that's supposed to raise it but when I measure between doses I'm usually under 100 on my top number and low 60s to high 50s on the bottom and it didn't used to consistently read low like that. I think a big part, if not the whole reason, is because I haven't been eating nearly enough, but it's just so hard to actually get myself to eat anything. I frequently don't have time for breakfast because I usually wake up right when I have to get ready for work, so I got protein drinks and uncrustables, but neither of those are enough to hold me through an entire 8+ hour shift. I don't usually eat lunch at work because I rarely have time because this company is bullshit and they keep pushing stupid projects on us and we're understaffed. I've been trying to at least have a snack at work, but it's usually just a small bag of chips or something that I can eat in 10 minutes. On my days off, it's hard to make myself food because my mom is Always In The Fucking Kitchen like she just hangs out there, and if I stay in a room with her for more than three minutes, she'll start talking and then won't stop for two hours and will follow me around to keep telling me about how her childhood was horrible or whichever new adhd symptom she discovered she and my sister and I all have which ive known about for years. Like I can't express how exhausting conversations with her can get because she just. does. not. stop. And it's because she doesn't ever go anywhere and spend time with anyone outside of our immediate family but that isn't my fault! I just want to be able to relax on my day off! I normally try to have some easy meals that only take 2-3 minutes in the microwave, but usually that's pizza hot pockets or actual mini frozen pizzas, but I can't eat pizza without bloating and getting acid reflux and stomach cramps so I try to only have it every once in a while. And usually at night after work I'm too tired to cook, let alone wash all the dishes I need for cooking. Ive been falling asleep within an hour of getting home from work lately so I just haven't been having dinner. All this together means there will be days when all I eat is an uncrustable and maybe some chips or a candy bar for the whole day. I'm afraid to bring it up with my dr because I don't want to be institutionalized because I just cannot fucking afford it but I don't know how to make myself eat more at this point

#personal #tw: ed #tw: eating problems #just need to get this out of my brain and into the world #maybe someday ill actually get a therapy appointment

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cardshcrp · 6 years

Note

five times kissed but high school au

FIVE TIMES KISSED.

@xtrainee // HIGH SCHOOL GV.

The first time, it’s nothing. Sitting in the back together, talking quietly, surrounded by a group of not-quite-peers and decidedly ignoring the meeting. He’s being indulgent, honestly, and he doesn’t know why - maybe because Wade is set apart too.

Murder corner. You’re gonna start more rumors hangin’ out with me. Go homo or go home, y’know?

Wade’s laughing, watching the way the yarn keeps reshaping in Remy’s hands, and for a second Remy thinks that yeah, maybe good guys do exist still, just a few far between, and he’s found one in the back of a calculus classroom, smelling of weed and cigarette smoke. He’s more relaxed than he has been since the move, so for once he’s indulgent, gives in to the impulse.

He leans in like he’s gonna give him a secret and presses his lips to his cheek instead, wrapped in their little bubble of solitude, and the surprised gasp kind of makes it worth it.

LeBeau, that’s kinda gay!

Remy rolls his eyes, smirks, and that’s that. It doesn’t mean anything at all, so he doesn’t think about it.

II.

I really shouldn’t have done that. It’s his last thought before he goes tumbling down, feet tangled up and eyes rolling back, because he’s a fucking idiot and he’s been running for two hours now with his binder on, no breaks, pushing himself and pushing himself because he’s burning up with too much energy and pissiness, all homesick and upset and he doesn’t know what to do with it.

There’s a shout as he hits the dusty track, and if he had the presence of mind to scowl he would’ve, because who the hell stuck around on school grounds till seven at night?

He groans when somebody fucking shakes him like a complete dickhead, rasping for air, and then there’s weight on his chest and a warm mouth settling over his, breathing the oxygen in that he’s struggling for. He needs it, and he’s confused, so he lets it happen for half a minute, and then he yells and shoves, shirt slipping down and down off his shoulder and -

It’s Wade. Go figure. He glares at the taller boy, chest heaving, skin sticky - and then he’s white, every bit of fury gone in an instant because those startled eyes are on the shoulder strap of his binder and Wade’s glancing back and forth between his hands and Remy’s chest like he’s going to die on the spot.

Remy scowls and yanks his shirt off, throws it in the other boy’s face as a shield as he turns around and struggles with his binder because he can’t fucking breathe and it needs to be off, now. He can’t get it, his fingers are scrabbling and there’s panic welling up in his throat - and then warm hands are settling over his, peeling the soaked fabric off his skin, it’s okay, I got you and he’s petrified but when he looks up Wade’s eyes are screwed shut and he’s doing his damnedest not to touch Remy skin to skin.

They get it off and Remy shrugs his shirt back on like it isn’t the most awkward thing that’s ever happened in his life, and Wade folds his binder and hands it back to him. I’m sorry, he says, and he looks like he means it. For touching you - I didn’t know, and Remy just sighs. He’s exhausted, suddenly, and honestly? At least Wade doesn’t look disgusted, or like he’s going to scream and run. It’s okay. It’s fine. It’s - I was being stupid anyway.

They sit there for a long time, not saying anything, and when Remy finally stands and turns to go he mutters thanks, stoops to give him a hug from behind that has too many soft curves before he jogs away.

He catches Wade staring at him the next day in class with a look on his face like he doesn’t quite know what to say. They don’t talk about it, don’t talk at all.

III.

He swears under his breath, patting down his pockets like that’s magically going to change the fact that he’d forgotten his jacket today, his leather jacket that he wears even in the summer because it hides the way his chest isn’t quite flat enough.

His jacket that he keeps his smokes in. His lockpicks too, coincidentally, but that isn’t what he’s after right now.

Remy scowls, stomps his foot against the cold ground petulantly; his huff of irritation comes out cold and white and visible. It’s not worth going back inside when he’s already snuck out, so he leans back against the brick back of the gym.

He nearly jumps out of his skin when a hand reaches out over his shoulder, dangling a half-empty pack of cigarettes in front of his nose. He swears, sharp and foreign, and it makes Wade laugh and jiggle the packet, coaxing.

C’mon, I saw you. You need one.

Remy turns to face him, hip cocked and arms folded over his chest, ’cause nothing comes for free. He wouldn’t put it past the senior to be that crazy, but still - What you want for it?

Wade blinks, and his face breaks into a smile, jumping right on the chance to tease. Give us a kiss, he croons, obviously not meaning it.

Sure. And Remy ducks in, curls his fingers under Wade’s chin and tugs him in, kisses him nice and slow and thorough and leaving him wide-eyed like he’s just seen a ghost, lips pink and parted.

He plucks a cigarette free and winks at him before strolling away, lazy and contented, smug as hell and twice as pleased.

IV.

Jeez, close your mouth, he says, and hands Wade the pizza box like he isn’t perched on the kitchen counter mostly naked with only lace on the remainder. It’s your favorite.

Wade closes his mouth and takes the box, opens it again like he’s going to ask who knows what, but finally he just shakes his head and grabs a slice instead, grinning like crazy.

Neither of them honestly has any idea when they became friends, but it really didn’t matter. The fact was that they were, and that in itself was enough.

(It’s kind of the closest he’s been to happy in a long time.)

They eat in silence for a while, trading off sips of Coke, Remy leaning in to clean a smudge of sauce off Wade’s cheek and maybe, just maybe he’s smiling real soft.

C’mere, c’mere, and he reaches out to snag Wade’s wrists and drag him gently forward as he backs into the living room. He’d pleased to find that Wade’s eyes never leave his face; finally, the backs of his knees hit the couch, and he laughs, half-giddy.

They topple over, legs tangled up and hands twisted up in hair and tugging at each other’s clothes, and for once Remy is the one getting kissed to hell and back, chapped lips all over his cheeks and nose and mouth.

When Remy yanks open the door at two in the morning with an angry tirade ready on his lips for whichever of his crew had forgotten their shit at his place, he blinks instead, because - uh, what?

There’s Wade Wilson on his doorstep, still in fatigues and hauling a duffel bag, and he just kinda stares for a hot minute, because he hasn’t seen the guy since graduation and it’s just - it’s two in the morning and it’s a little much, honestly, not that he isn’t glad.

Heard you stuck around in town, Wade says, and Remy just snorts, stepping aside to let him in. Uh, nah, I went home - wound up comin’ back here though. It’s comfy, y’know?

He cracks open a couple of beers, passes one to his old friend, rolls his own around between his palms; he’s at a bit of a loss, for once, and it shows. They both are, really.

There’s too much history written there, too many years of distance and unasked questions and silent glances, but at the bottom of the line they are friends and so Remy makes the guest room bed in record time, sits down next to him, and they stare at each other a long time. Stay as long as you like, he tells him. Just don’t ask me about my shitty schedule and I won’t punch ya.

Wade laughs, and Remy reaches out, lets his thumb drift over the other man’s cheek, slow and soft. They can figure things out later, stop the awkward sidestep, but now things are alright.

He leans in and presses his lips to the corner of Wade’s mouth, chaste and soft.

Welcome home, asshole. Missed ya.

#xtrainee #♠️ ANSWERED.#gv; marvel high.#♠️ DRABBLES.

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elliothepburn-blog · 7 years

Photo

how to live a half-life

by elliot hepburn

i. you wake up in the morning, you swallow your hunger in more pancakes than humanly possible. you brush your teeth, you think about anything but your dreams, you think about how you’re a normal person. you think about how you’ve always been [ insert name here ] and you will always be you. morning is hard, morning has always been hard, but you didn’t know why until recently. it’s because you’re half-earth and half something entirely else. and you just have to keep thinking about the fact that you’re still half-earth, you have lived your life full earth, so nothing is really different now. you can’t let yourself believe that things are different now.

ii. you get to work and you sit and you sit and you sit and you sit and you sit. and while you sit, your mind wanders and you think about the water and how cold it still is despite it being late summer, and you think about how nice it would be to walk in, just walk all the way in and sit at the bottom until things go dark, and you know from your studies that drowning isn’t actually as pleasing and dreamy as your mind is making it out to be. but on duty? under the hot sun? while forgetting to drink water? drowning seems like the best thing you could do, because at least you wouldn’t be suffering as two halves, with no ‘whole’ to be found. you sit and stare at the water until someone comes up to you and asks how strong the current is today, and you just weakly gesture to the green flag that’s right in front of your stand, “it’s not that strong.”

iii. once you’re off work, you’re at the closest food place and you’re ordering two whole pizzas for yourself. and then you’re walking and you’re onto the next closest one, you’re just making your way down the strip of restaurants so that when you get back home, you can just devour it all. you don’t think you can really remember what veggie deluxe pizza tastes like at this point, you’re just glad that you haven’t gotten picky about taste. if you were, well, that’d make this whole half-life thing a whole lot harder. you can’t pretend to be fully human while wanting to eat humans and be a picky eater.

iv. you don’t even get all the way home when you stop to eat, you stop by hearts of clay and bullet straight for the break room so you can devour all the food you have with you. you know that n and henry won’t judge you, well henry might. henry will judge you because you’re not whole, but n won’t judge you. part because you’re best friends, part because they’re not an ass. when you’re done eating, you thank n, you tell her you’ll be back later, to pick her up for beignets and coffee. you glare at henry as you leave, you don’t like him. quite frankly, if the opportunity ever showed itself, you’d go fight him in n’s shop, and then try and compensate n for the damages later.

v. after leaving the shop, you find yourself wandering town. you don’t really know what to do now, it’d be a little sad to just go home and binge watch netflix, but you also don’t want to interact with people. there’s an uncomfortable disconnect between yourself and the guy you used to be, it’s moments like this where your otherness, where the fact that you’re not complete, becomes so obvious to you. you hate that you’re not full and you contemplate if it really would be bad if you just... made the switch. you know you can, it’d be so easy. it’d make life so much easier, and maybe you wouldn’t feel like you were constantly dissociating either.

vi. before you make any terrible decisions, you feel your phone vibrate in your pocket and it makes you smile. it’s alex sending you a picture of wren, and you realize that being half and half isn’t too bad. at least, for now, it keeps you grounded. and you make your way back home. it’s a lonely day, but most days are lonely like that. and you’re okay with your loneliness, you’re comforted by it. it makes you feel like you can hold your halves together, to make something that’s crumbly, but still whole. you get home, you pull up netflix on your tv and you fall asleep in bed soon after you finish one episode.

vii. repeat.

#suicide cw //#suicide idealization cw //#drowning cw //#brighthavenhqcd #[ aes: there are a lot of things that find a hiding place in our bodies ]#[ mus: don't ever underestimate the people who love you ]

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i-like-your-genitalia · 7 years

Note

You are going to kill me... buuut all 200 questions? I'm keeping you busy and thinking about your life

200: My crush’s name is: Jennifer  

199: I was born in: a hospital? (Jks 1998) 

198: I am really: funny  

197: My cellphone company is: Lebara 

196: My eye color is: boring ol’ brown  

195: My shoe size is: a ladies 9 

194: My ring size is: I actually don’t know 

193: My height is: 5'10  

192: I am allergic to: nothing surprisingly  

191: My 1st car was: 1998 Subaru Legacy (the station wagon) 

190: My 1st job was: Checkout Worker 

189: Last book you read: The Accident Man 

188: My bed is: a king  

187: My pet: I don’t have one atm  

186: My best friend: Anushka  

185: My favorite shampoo is: I don’t have one (but I like anything coconut or tropical scented) 

184: Xbox or ps3: don’t care  

183: Piggy banks are: lit 

182: In my pockets: I’m a girl, only 20% of my clothes have pockets big enough to put anything in  

181: On my calendar: “Spotify Premium runs out on the 27th of August" 

180: Marriage is: Not married  

179: Spongebob can:  

178: My mom: is awesome  

177: The last three songs I bought were? Whatever I listened to last on Spotify?  

176: Last YouTube video watched: review on Aztec clay face mask  

175: How many cousins do you have? 4 step cousins and then 6 blood related cousins  

174: Do you have any siblings? Just a younger sister  

173: Are your parents divorced? Nah they still together and in love  

172: Are you taller than your mom? Only just  

171: Do you play an instrument? I used to play the piano  

170: What did you do yesterday? Worked

[ I Believe In ] 

169: Love at first sight: kinda  

168: Luck: yes  

167: Fate: not really  

166: Yourself: sometimes  

165: Aliens: yes  

164: Heaven: yes  

163: Hell: no  

162: God: yes  

161: Horoscopes: I mostly enjoy the zodiac memes and compatibility and personality horoscopes  

160: Soul mates: yes, but I believe you have more than one  

159: Ghosts: yes  

158: Gay Marriage: big yes  

157: War: nope 

156: Orbs: it would be cool but I’m neutral  

155: Magic: yes

[ This or That ] 

154: Hugs or Kisses: Hugs  

153: Drunk or High: Drunk  

152: Phone or Online: Online  

151: Red heads or Black haired: Red heads  

150: Blondes or Brunettes: Blondes  

149: Hot or cold: Hot  

148: Summer or winter: Summer  

147: Autumn or Spring: Autumn  

146: Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate  

145: Night or Day: Day  

144: Oranges or Apples: Oranges  

143: Curly or Straight hair: Curly  

142: McDonalds or Burger King: Maccas  

141: White Chocolate or Milk Chocolate: Milk Chocolate  

140: Mac or PC: Mac 

139: Flip flops or high heels: High Heels  

138: Ugly and rich OR sweet and poor: Sweet and Poor  

137: Coke or Pepsi: Coke 

136: Hillary or Obama: OBAMA 

135: Burried or cremated: Cremated  

134: Singing or Dancing: Dancing  

133: Coach or Chanel: Chanel  

132: Kat McPhee or Taylor Hicks: who are they? 

131: Small town or Big city: Big city  

130: Wal-Mart or Target: I haven’t been to either  

129: Ben Stiller or Adam Sandler: Ben Stiller  

128: Manicure or Pedicure: Manicure  

127: East Coast or West Coast: East Coast  

126: Your Birthday or Christmas: this is too cruel to answer  

125: Chocolate or Flowers: Chocolate  

124: Disney or Six Flags: Disney  

123: Yankees or Red Sox: um don’t care

[ Here’s What I Think About ] 

122: War: It’s expensive and unnecessary and should be a last resort. It’s not worth the lives lost, people injured and relocated. The monetary cost is ridiculous and it barley solves anything. It cause more issues and potentially more wars

121: George Bush: did 9/11 

120: Gay Marriage: It’s actually crazy how long and how much effort it took to get this accepted. And I just hope this right isn’t taken away!  

119: The presidential election: Donald Trump and Pence need to die or be locked up forever, I don’t even understand how anyone thought that Hilary Clinton would be worse.  

118: Abortion: Pro-choice for the win  

117: MySpace: I wasn’t old enough for this  

116: Reality TV: my guilty pleasure tbh  

115: Parents: I love my parents and they are good to me. But it would be great if they could be less homophobic.  

114: Back stabbers: I don’t know why people feel the need to intentionally hurt and embarrass someone, especially someone who isn’t prepared for it or trusts you  

113: Ebay: I don’t really use eBay  

112: Facebook: I use it to tag my non tumblr friends in memes and to stalk people  

111: Work: I’m sick of my job but I’m having to stick it out for now.  

110: My Neighbors: They are seasonal but if their kids could not move and rearrange the bedroom at the ass crack of dawn that would be fantastic  

109: Gas Prices: New Zealand, especially in the towns. Gas prices are so high. Spain isn’t so bad 

108: Designer Clothes: I’d rather have more clothes than one designer one  

107: College:  

106: Sports: I have zero hand eye coordination and therefore hate sports! But I will watch the Olympics  

105: My family: They are cool for the most part  

104: The future: is scary and it makes me wanna throw up if I think too much about it

[ Last time I ] 

103: Hugged someone: like a week ago  

102: Last time you ate: I’m eating chocolate right now  

101: Saw someone I haven’t seen in awhile: my grandparents and my cousins today  

100: Cried in front of someone: it’s been forever  

99: Went to a movie theater: like a good 6-8 months ago 

98: Took a vacation: ummm like 4 months ago  

97: Swam in a pool: yesterday  

96: Changed a diaper: not since my babysitting days  

95: Got my nails done: literally before I left New Zealand so 5 months ago 

94: Went to a wedding: it’s been years  

93: Broke a bone: never actually broken anything in my body  

92: Got a peircing: I got my ears pieced when I was 12  

91: Broke the law: Probably when I was driving, speeding or something but nothing I've been charged with lmao 

90: Texted: like a couple of hours ago

[ MISC ] 

89: Who makes you laugh the most: my sister  

88: Something I will really miss when I leave home is: having consistently good home cooked meals  

87: The last movie I saw: probably shrek  

86: The thing that I’m looking forward to the most: being back in New Zealand! Or doing some travelling  

85: The thing im not looking forward to: working  

84: People call me: gay 83: The most difficult thing to do is: be honest  82: I have gotten a speeding ticket: I actually haven’t  

81: My zodiac sign is: Leo  

80: The first person i talked to today was: my girlfriend  

79: First time you had a crush: the first crush I remember, I was in year 4 (so 8 years old) and it was on this boy named Joseph  

78: The one person who i can’t hide things from: I’m good at hiding things tbh  

77: Last time someone said something you were thinking: my sister when my mum and dad were talking shit  

76: Right now I am talking to: my sister and my friends from New Zealand  

75: What are you going to do when you grow up: Hairdressing tho I kinda would like to do pre school/nursery/kindergarten teaching  

74: I have/will get a job: currently working as front of house at a little supermarket  

73: Tomorrow: I’m working and doing house work 

72: Today: I slept and then worked  

71: Next Summer: I will hopefully be enjoying the sunshine  

70: Next Weekend: Working yet again and having dinner with my grandparents  

69: I have these pets: Definitely a cat, and also a dog  

68: The worst sound in the world: chalk or finger nails on a chalkboard  

67: The person that makes me cry the most is: myself  

66: People that make you happy: my sister, my friends and my girlfriend  

65: Last time I cried: when I watched beauty and the beast  

64: My friends are: absolutely incredible, I don’t deserve them 

63: My computer is: I don’t have one anymore  

62: My School: I’m not in school  

61: My Car: I don’t have a car atm  

60: I lose all respect for people who: are snakes  

59: The movie I cried at was: beauty and the beast 

58: Your hair color is: brown and boring  57: TV shows you watch: Atm limitless, shooter, Shetland, Rewatching Criminal Minds, AHS and Black Mirror 

56: Favorite web site: boohoo.com or iherb  

55: Your dream vacation: A cruise or a historical/relaxed tour of the ancient world  

54: The worst pain I was ever in was: in a tie between slamming my fingers in a car door or when I got a virus (it’s a really bad version of food poisoning) and I actually thought I was gonna die.  

53: How do you like your steak cooked: medium to well done  

52: My room is: relatively clean and currently got that minimal plant theme going  

51: My favorite celebrity is: Dua Lipa  

50: Where would you like to be: with @dysfunctionalgroup 

49: Do you want children: yeah one day  

48: Ever been in love: yes  

47: Who’s your best friend: Anushka  

46: More guy friends or girl friends: it used to be a balance but now mostly girl friends  

45: One thing that makes you feel great is: cute underwear and a good nights sleep  

44: One person that you wish you could see right now: 

43: Do you have a 5 year plan: yes 

42: Have you made a list of things to do before you die: mentally but it’s not written down anywhere  

41: Have you pre-named your children: no, but I have some names I really like lined up  

40: Last person I got mad at: my sister  

39: I would like to move to: the Uk or NZ  

38: I wish I was a professional:

[ My Favorites ] 

37: Candy: Reece’s pieces or skittles  

36: Vehicle: Kinda want a Range Rover or a Land Rover but in the old style. Or a classic car 

35: President: Obama 

34: State visited: ive never been to America  

33: Cellphone provider: Lebara  

32: Athlete: my bio teacher, she played for a big women’s netball team  

31: Actor: Jensen Ackles  

30: Actress: Gal Gadot  

29: Singer: Dua Lipa 

28: Band: The Internet

27: Clothing store: h&m or boohoo 

26: Grocery store: I don’t have one  

25: TV show: Brooklyn 99 

24: Movie: I have too many  

23: Website: this hell hole 

22: Animal: Cats or Goats  

21: Theme park: I’ve only been to Disney  

20: Holiday: Christmas and Halloween  

19: Sport to watch: Gymnastics  

18: Sport to play: None 

17: Magazine: who reads magazines anymore  

16: Book: the Mysterious Benedict Society  

15: Day of the week: Friday  

14: Beach: as long as it’s sandy I’m cool  

13: Concert attended: J Cole 

12: Thing to cook: Pizza and Sweet and Sour Pork  

11: Food: Cheesburgers  

10: Restaurant: Any that sell food I like  

9: Radio station: ZM

8: Yankee candle scent: most of them

7: Perfume: Dolce and Gabbana, Floral Drops

6: Flower: forget me nots

5: Color: Green

4: Talk show host: don’t have a fave

3: Comedian: don’t have a fave

2: Dog breed: Border Collie

1: Did you answer all these truthfully? Guess you’ll never know

#all done #my asks #answered asks #ask me anything

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crazykendal · 7 years

Text

This is too long

Why did you close the door the last time you closed one? so no little kids would rampage in Stripes or polka dots? stripes Do you care if people touch you when they’re talking to you? depends on who What is your gender? female Do you think that people think its obvious? i sure hope so haha

How long did your first date last? 0 seconds ;) Is your favorite color within 10 feet of you? yes Highlight of your day? my old friend came over Would you rather be on a boat or a plane? dood no boats those scare the f outta me, but ive never been on a plane Can you tell when girls (or guys) have eyeliner on? yes. Can you cook?

yikes uh.. nope How high is your ceiling? i believe 35 feet im some parts of the house Whats the worst job you can think of? honestly idk Do you swear a lot? what the fuck are you talking about Does the last person you texted have an O in their name? HA no Is everything working in your house? i dont think so Would you rather have a pool or a trampoline? pool. Does pop give you energy? no..? TV show you love with a passion? the walking dead, and ive been watching the 100, but i love twd a lot more Do you think you learned anything from the worst night of your life? yeah, im a fucking prick/dick head

Perfect age to get married? who the fuck knows

Is it safe to say you own over 20 pairs of shoes? i own 3 or maybe 5.. i think Name a career path that women are known for taking. doctors?? idk Favorite type of cookie? chocolate chip, i can never make them because i always come close to burning the house down A quality you look for in choosing a significant other? if anyone can understand me im good What would I find if I looked in your pocket? no pockets What was your first word? yo wassup my homies. (I say that too much, but I have no idea) A musical instrument you wouldnt mind learning how to play? DRUMSSS Last time you went to 7-eleven? months ago A fast food restaurant that you hate with a passion? I kinda hate most of them equally Does everyone in your family have a job? yeah Going anywhere this weekend? im going to a legally blonde musical Is your room ever clean? yeah but usually never What does it mean when youre being quiet? im mad Last person you had a face to face conversation with? my cat Wheres your phone? dude idk ive been grounded for 2 weeks ahahahah Do you know the difference between your and you’re? yes i aint no dumb bitch How late did you stay up last night? 10 pm Anyone youre ready to kill? oh hell yeah Do you need to get a tan? yes What do you want? money and love Favorite TV show as a kid? dood idk

Whats a show that you absolutely refuse to watch? Strangers Things How many times have you been in love? once Go camping or go to a party? camping Do you remember how old you were when you started swearing? maybe when I was 12 How many years older than you would you date someone? I would like to date anyone in my grade, nothing over or less What was the last thing you pinky swore on? I dont swear to anything, ever, unless i care about the person usually more than my self Would you consider yourself a nice person? no. why is this even a question Are there a lot of mirrors in your house? a lot more than I think there should be Has there ever been a serial killer in your house? I sure hope not

Do you know anyone who looks like Adam Sandler? no True or false: Glee is annoying. true, ive never watched it but I know its annoying Last thing you cooked? grilled cheese Do you use slang often? maybe Wear glasses? yes hahahaha

About how old was the last person that hit on you? well.. no one has ever hit on me OH wait I cant say (this one girl maybe I don't her well oh god) What color are your headphones? black and red BLUETOOTH BITCHES Would you make a good teacher? Why? I would rather be some sort of leader than teacher Dont you hate those commercials that try too hard? lol some commercials are my life, like the life alert commercials. HELP IVE FALLEN AND I CANT GET UP but yeah some over them are just to much Is the fan on? I have like a ton of fans on right now Any special reason why youre taking this survey? i have nothing better to do What does the last text message you sent say? i was telling my mom that my little sister was being a pain in the ass and that i wanted pizza hahaha

Your friend needs you to run to the store to get a pregnancy test. Do you? which friend? Friend #1, id ask her who she fucked and be really surprised. Friend #2 I wouldn't even have to ask. Friend #3 I would be shocked and possibly upset. But id get them for all of them hahahaha Do you log out on facebook when you leave the site? i dont use my Facebook What color are your underwear? white How short are your nails? short Do you like the opposite sex to be dominant or you the one in control? funny you ask that, id rather have the opposite sex dominant and id rather be dominant with same sex.. yep Favorite holiday? Christmas If I asked you to point to Ohio on a map of the US do you think you could? yeah You're locked in a room with spiders. Do you have an issue? spiders don't really bother me, depends on size tho Do you wear your most expensive item of clothing often? uhh Do you eat a lot of food? no THERE'S NO FOOD IN OUR HOUSE

Have your parents ever tried to control your relationship? well like a relationship relationship? maybe Have you ever had to give someone directions before? yes i forget everything but I know how to give directions like a mastermind Speaking of which, are you good at understanding driving directions? ive never driven before because im too little!! in two years i can tho hahah How many people do you text daily? usually none Do you play any instruments? Which instruments do you play? nothing Is there anyone who you call by their last name? no What did you do on your last birthday? I dont remember I think I had a sleepover tho Which of the Seven Deadly Sins do you commit the most? what Has anyone ever told you that you’re incapable of whispering? no What is your least favorite subject in school?

math and science Have you ever been involved in a custody battle before? depends Do you know a couple who constantly sucks on each other’s face? what the actual fuck When was the last time you watched a YouTube video? a few days ago Have you ever babysat a newborn baby before? no

When was the last time you held someone’s hand? does my cat count How many meals have you eaten today, so far? none and it’s 1:05 pm Do you think it’s stupid for people to call others “hot?” no because they might actually be hot hahaha Do you personally think Wikipedia is a reliable source? yeahhh? depends Have you ever shopped at Wet Seal before? Did you like it? wtf is that Do you care about spending money if it’s someone else’s money? yeah What is your favorite Disney movie of all time? dude I dont really like Disney movies so none When you were a child, did you ever want to become a wizard/witch? wtf no Would you rather have hardwood floors or carpet? i have both in my house Who was the last person you yelled at? Why? my little little sister As a kid, did you ever go to camp? no Have you ever made out in a movie theater before? no Are you currently trying to learn to play any instrument? no. When was the last time you went somewhere you thought was haunted? hmm a few months ago Who was the last person to compliment you? idk that was over a month ago How old were you when you got to go on your first date? never have and I bet I never will :( Would you call your parents over-protective or under-protective? over protective helpppp Did your parents ever let you play in the pits of those multicolored balls? what Have any of your siblings ever had a crush on your significant other? chandler riggs or alycia debnam-carey? Are you the jealous type? yeah When was the last time you felt like you were high on life? when clarke and lexa had sex mwahahaha what Do you know someone who cares about themselves more than their child? yeah haha we have their kid now Do you still watch cartoons on television? no What do you usually order at Taco Bell, if you go there? i dont like taco bell Is there anyone currently annoying you? yes Do you have freckles? no :’( How many dogs do you have, if any at all? imaginary doggos Have you ever witnessed someone being beaten up? i couldn't say I witnessed someone being beat up I usually beat up things Do you think biting is weird or sexy? well it depends on who Would you rather be called hot or beautiful? hot but im neither hahaha Have you ever had a pet turtle before? yes Do you still sleep with your parents when you’re scared sometimes? no. Have you ever met someone with two different color eyes? nope. Have you ever felt like someone was following you? yeah

What color shirt are you wearing at the moment? white Do you enjoy going school shopping? sometimes Do you think Pug dogs are adorable or just plain ugly? I LOVE PUGS my grandpa has some and I love them so much Have you ever met someone who completely resembled their pet? haha ive never thought of that but maybe What was the worst substance you’ve spilled on yourself before? bleach Have you ever made out with more than one person in one night? no Do you think there is a soulmate out there for everyone? no defiantly not me

Do you like short or long surveys the best? long Have you ever bought fake money and tried to make it pass for real? no Are your siblings nice the majority of the time? depends on who Do you freak out when a thunderstorm comes along? no i live for thunderstorms How often do you shower? every other day Have you ever had to sell something for a school fundraiser? maybe How many sodas do you usually drink in one day? sometimes one but usually never Have you ever met someone who was completely weird all-around? yes shes a good friend of mine Do you ever watch any soap operas? i have no idea what that is Have you ever met someone who was mean to everyone? yes. (me) thats not trueee though <3 Do you usually have a low tolerance for pain or high tolerance? I dont care whenever I get injured Would you rather eat or sleep? i dont care Are you one of those die hard Twilight or Harry Potter fans? no just no

Do your parents ever force you to talk to your grandparents? I have one grandpa and a step grandma and I dont really know her that much but I never really see them Do you think long surveys are boring or entertaining? it depends on the questions. Have you ever learned that someone had lied to you all along? i feel like someone has been lying to me but I dont know if its true or not Have you ever wanted to be a lawyer? no. Have you ever had to bail someone out of jail before? no. Is there anyone in your immediate family who was adopted? yeah Do you know anyone who doesn’t have any common sense? yes my same weird friend, oh and me :) When was the last time you bought something? Monday Do you think you look anything like your parents? kinda What are your plans for this weekend? i answered this What color is your significant other’s hair? Chandler Riggs and Alycia Debnam-Carey both have brown hair. Woah ive never thought about this but every single person ive ever crushed on was a brunette Have you ever applied for a job at Walmart before? no. Would you ever become a foster parent? id rather be a foster parent than give birth but I fucking hate kids (maybe that's why I hate myself) Are you ashamed of anyone in your family? yeah my cat Bub he attacks my other cats Would rather talk to someone on a landline or a cell phone? cell Has anyone ever given you a psychiatric assessment? no What is your favorite amusement park? i dont know Did you ever have braces? I WAS SUPPOSED TO GET THEM OFF THIS MONTH BUT NOOOOOO What is cuter: kisses on the forehead of the cheek? i like both? why am I answering to this Do you believe in evolution or creation? evolution, there was never a god who created anything

Would you rather take a bath or a shower? Why or why not? shower, I dont have time for baths Does it bother you when people touch your personal items? depends. When was the last time you did something sexual? ..depends on what.. Do you collect anything? What? snapbacks Are you better at hand-drawing things or painting? I cant paint to save my life Have either of your parents ever called you a failure before? oh my god all the time! They tell me that more than compliments Have you ever suspected someone of cheating on you? no. When you get married, will you convert your last name? depends on who :) Are your parents divorced, married or separated? married Has someone ever left a relationship with you for someone else? no. What’s the most painful thing you’ve ever experienced? from december 5, 2002 all the way to today When was the last time you went shoe shopping? like 4 weeks ago Are you a part of any clubs at your school, if you still go to school? like in 7th grade CREATIVE WRITING CLUB oh man Do you know someone who wears a wig? no What is your best friend’s last name? nakamura. its my cat haru When was the last time you cried? For what reason? awhile ago because im a fucking baby, just because im going to a different school than a friend of mine who im going to tag mwahaha sucks to be you IM LOOKING BACK AT THIS ITS NOT TRUE IT WAS THE LEXA DEATH SCENE

What is your favorite shop to go to at the mall? forever 21 What time do you usually go to bed on the weekends? like 10 or 11 Have you ever considered suicide? not much? Have you ever been raped before? no. Would you ever consider becoming a marine biologist? no if i ever see those words again im going to fuck someone up. (my dad wants me to be one but im deathly afraid or the ocean) Did you carry a lunchbox as a child? yes. What is your favorite ‘sweet’ to eat? idk Are you someone who usually eats when you’re bored? no Have you ever eaten your way through a breakup? no. Who was the last person you texted? my mom Do you usually buy popcorn when you eat at the movie theater? yeah Did you sleep alone or with someone last night? alone. What kind of dressing do you eat on your salad, if any? none Are you someone who constantly likes to wear hats? no what are talking about im not wearing a hat at all Have you ever seen a Lifetime movie that relates to your life? what What is your Myspace URL? never had one Are you someone who likes to wear dresses more than pants? hahaha if i ever have to wear another dress again im going to kill myself Have you ever dated someone who was way overprotective of you? never fucking dated alright What was the last thing you touched besides your keyboard? my HAT When was the last time you witnessed a fist fight? never..? Do you know anyone who lives in the state of California? bitch I do

Are you waiting for a text right now? no Is it your summer vacation right now? yepp fucking kill me Do you like traveling? love it, more time I can listen to to musicccc What color are the walls of the room you’re in right now? dood i think grey, im looking now and its hard to tell Do you still make mix cds? no. Are you eating or drinking anything right now? no

Do you go to church regularly? no i dont believe in that stuff Who’s your best friend? haru Are you determined? yeahhh...

Are you always looking for/in a relationship, or do you like being single? id love to be in a relationship but i hate so many people and a ton of people hate me and I bet i never will Ever had your heart broken? yeah Even broken someone else’s heart? oh god yes Are you confident? not really When’s the last time you smiled? today. Are you tan? no

Any big plans for today/tonight? I want pizza What’s the background on your computer? oh I recently changed it to lexa and clarke from the 100 Do you have days where you just want to listen to sad songs? yeah Don’t you hate when your plans fall through? sometimes Ever maxed out a credit card? no How old are you? older than time itself Who’s the last person you kissed? my cat Are you hoping they will also be the next person you kiss? no Do you ever actually go on dates? no

Im going to tag @rottentulips because I finally found a really long question tag for her to do so you're welcome ;)

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