#i think it's obvious which one is my favorite

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

WIBTA If I named my twin boys after Jekyll and Hyde?

I (37F) am currently pregnant with twin boys. My husband (36M) and I had made an agreement when we started trying for a baby that of the 4 kids we wanted, I would name the first two and he would name the second two. Obviously if the name was TOO ridiculous, it could be veto’d, but overall it’s a pretty clear plan.

He named our first daughter (2F) when she was born and her name is Juliet, after Romeo and Juliet. We’re both huge fans of Shakespeare and while I loved the book, I disliked the name Juliet at first. It’s grown on me a lot because of my daughter, but I didn’t want her to be named that at first and still respected the agreement we had made anyway.

When I found out I was pregnant again, I was really excited and started planning baby names. I’m really big into sci-fi and classics and wanted to stick with a literature theme. When I found out that I was having twin boys, Henry and Edward seemed like perfect names! They’re a reference to Henry Jekyll and Edward Hyde, but arnt something super cheesy or obvious. We have middle names already picked out from family traditions, so unless we told people it would be hard to guess the names origin. Plus, Jekyll and Hyde had a big impact on me as a weird teenage girl and I love that book.

The problem is that my husband absolutely HATES the name. He thinks that it’s going to lead our sons or other people to stereotype them based on which character they’re named after, and that Edward would be socially set up to be seen as like worse. I understand what he means, but it’s hard for me to believe it would that THAT big of an impact socially speaking because no one would really know the reference. I kind of understand where he’s coming from in the context of the boys comparing themselves to each other, but personally Hyde was always a character more based on being who you are, even if it’s not what’s “pretty” or “normal”, and I don’t really believe the interpretation that Hyde represents pure evil. I feel like if we raised our boys with this idea, they wouldn’t think of one as the “good” twin and the other as the “evil” twin.

I told all this to my husband, and we both see where the other person is coming from, and we’re kind of at an impasse. This book got me through high school, and is one of my favorite pieces of media EVER. He hasn’t veto’d the name, but I still feel a little bad about the whole thing. I think the names will grow on him eventually, but who knows.

[withwritersblock]

imgonnagetyouback

~imgonnagetyouback by Taylor Swift~

Author's Note: requested! toxic as hell but so fun to write Summary: two times they broke up and got back together and one time they stayed apart Warnings: swearing, implied smut, toxic relationship Word Count: 4,283 Luke Hughes x fm!reader

One's first college romance can feel like dancing on top of clouds. The overwhelming amount of love, kisses, endless sleepless nights. Although, it can also feel like free falling with no parachute. Impossible and helpless.

She loved Luke like she’s never loved anyone before. He was the perfect person for her for so long. She has never felt so loved. She wanted nothing more than to never stop kissing his lips, tugging his hair, or feel his hands roam her frame. 

But maybe that’s all that kept them in love, the physical attraction. She no longer liked him as a person. He was cocky and full of himself, and would flirt with any tiny blonde that threw herself towards him. She hated it. 

She was slowly starting to hate him.

Which led to her standing in his dorm, letting the words slip from her lips. “God, Luke, it’s exhausting being with you!” she explained, her eyes filling with tears. Luke huffed as he rolled his eyes. 

“Do you think it’s easy being with you?” he offered, throwing his hands to the side. “You are so fucking needy! It’s exhausting! You wonder why I go out every weekend, it’s because I want to get away from you and your constant need for attention!” he spat. His eyes widened as he awkwardly ran his hand across his nose. 

He met her gaze, watching her eyes tear up. She clenched her jaw as her lip began to quiver. “I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry I’m tired from practice-”

“Don’t try and take it back! You meant every fucking word,” she said slowly as she scanned his features, he took steps towards her, breathing heavily. “We’re fucking done,” she expressed her eyes scanning his features, her eyes landed on his lips for a few seconds. Suddenly craving the taste of his lips. He lowered his gaze towards her lips as well, leaning towards her.

She pulled his t-shirt from her frame, leaving her standing in her bra. His eyes widened as his gaze lowered to her frame. Admiring the lilac lace bra, desperately wanting to unclasp it from her frame. A reluctant smirk formed onto his lips

She slammed the t-shirt against his chest as she turned to leave the small dorm room. He stumbled back.  “Where are you going?” he gripped the shirt tightly as he took a step towards her. 

“Back to my room,” she uttered as if it was obvious. He shook his head, furrowing his eyebrows. 

“What? No? Not like that?!” he countered as he held the t-shirt towards her. “Just put this back on,” he let out.

“I am fine like this,” she spat out as she took a step away from him again. 

“Y/N don’t be like that,” he mumbled, dangling the shirt towards her once more. She spun around meeting his desperate gaze. Squinting her eyes slightly, her eyes lowered towards the small pout on his lips. “Y/N, please,” he pleated. She clenched her jaw, glancing back down towards the t-shirt for a brief second before she took a hold of the door knob, swinging the door open. 

She walked out of the room, sauntering slowly, not caring if anyone spots her. She’ll admit it, she looked good. It was her favorite bra and it made her chest look out of this world. “Y/N!” he called out, peeking his head into the hallway. 

“I live four doors down, Luke, relax!” she shouted as she flipped him off. He chuckled dryly as he watched her walk away. He loved watching her walk away, the sway of her hips. He clenched his jaw as he leaned his head on the door frame. Biting his bottom lip, he watched her turn towards her door and push the door open stepping inside. 

Luke took in a deep breath as he reluctantly stepped back into the door, letting the door slowly shut behind him. He stared at the shirt in his hands, her radiant perfume illuminated the room. She always smelled so good, like vanilla and sandalwood. Not that he knew what sandalwood exactly smelled like but he knew that was the perfume she always wore.

He pulled the shirt open, staring at the Devils logo on the front. He swallowed hard as he tossed it onto the floor. He pulled his phone from his pocket, quickly dialing Jacob. He brought his phone to his ear. Jacob answered on the fourth ring, “Hughesy,” he let out simply.

“I need to go out tonight, you and the boys wanna join me?” Luke let out as he let out a long huff of air.

“What’s so urgent? I mean we’re always down to go,” he let out, shouting towards someone in the background. 

Luke clenched his jaw as he looked towards the ceiling. “Y/N and I broke up. I need to be drunk somewhere,” he let out. Jacob gasped slightly.

“Dude, are you alright?” Jacob asked suddenly. 

“Yeah, it was coming sooner than later,” he explained while he slowly sat down onto his bed. His eyes staring towards the t-shirt on the floor, his eyes filling with tears. “Yeah, alright, out by nine?” he asked, Jacob hummed before Luke ended the call. He dropped his phone beside him on the bed. He slowly laid onto his back staring towards the ceiling. He blinked away the tears as he repeatedly clenched his jaw.

~~~

He sat at the bar, his hair covered in a backwards hat. His frame was covered in a short sleeve plain black t-shirt and dark wash jeans. It was practically the same outfit he would always wear when he went to the bars. He was smiling at something Dylan had said but he didn’t quite hear it as the bartender handed him another beer. 

It was probably the fifth one he had alongside the shot of vodka waiting for him to take. “Uh oh,” Jacob mumbled as he stared towards the entrance to the bar.

“What?” Luke asked as he brought the beer towards his lips, he shifted his gaze towards where all of the boys were looking. He froze as his eyes landed on Y/N. He slowly pulled the beer from his lips as he couldn’t help but scan her frame. 

The tiny, oh so tiny, lilac skirt on her frame. He’s never seen something so small on her frame before. His gaze slowly, so slowly up her frame, staring at the skin of her stomach, peeking out between the top of her skirt and the ends of her skin tight lace white top. His eyes landed on her exposed chest, he imagined himself trailing his fingertips along her skin. At once, his eyes landed on her lips, they were glossed with a clear glitter color. He slowly watched her lips curl up into a wide grin. He finally met her gaze, watching her smile falter slightly at the sight of him.

He shifted in his seat, leaning forward against the bar top. He clenched his jaw tightly as he stared towards the Bud Light label on his beer bottle. His cheeks were flushed red as he ran his hand across his thigh. 

“Damn breaking up with you did her right,” Jacob teased, nudging him. Luke shoved him slightly as he not so reluctantly looked back towards Y/N. Three guys were standing around her and her friends. Luke clenched his jaw as his eyes stared towards her thighs, her gorgeous legs he could worship for hours. 

How could he ever make her cry? How could he ever do such things other than make her feel good. He took a deep breath as he slowly met her gaze. She smirked as she walked towards the opposite end of the bar, to order from the other bartender.

He took a hold of the small glass, pulling it towards his lips. He threw the shot back quickly, barely cringing at the taste. He rested the shot glass face down before he looked back towards Y/N. She was leaning against the bartop, her skirt barely covering the curve of her ass, he was safe to say in deep trouble. “Fuck,” he muttered as he clenched his jaw. He needed to speak with her. 

He stood up from his stool, chugging the rest of his beer. “She’s-” he mumbled as he battled on walking towards her or towards the bathroom to clear his head. He stood a foot away from his boys who were all staring towards him fighting laughter. He bit his bottom lip as he choked out, “She’s gonna be the death of me,” Luke mumbled as he wandered towards the other side of the bar. The boys began to wolf whistle. 

Luke flipped them off as he walked through the crowded bar. She was still leaning against the bar, practically bending over. He walked up behind her, pressing himself against her ass as he leaned towards her. She quickly spun away, ready to scold the random man but shocked to see Luke behind her. She leaned her back against the bartop as Luke quickly placed his hand on the counter, holding her in place. 

“Luke,” she let out breathlessly while she stared at his lips.

He leaned towards her, brushing his lips against hers, “You’re impossible,” he mumbled as he urgently pressed his lips against hers. Sweeping his tongue against hers as he pressed more of himself against her. A moan caught in her throat as she pressed her hands against his chest, shoving him back.

She stood breathing heavily as she watched him slowly open his eyes. She clenched her jaw as she took a hold of his arm, freeing herself from his hold. “We can’t,” she mumbled while she began to walk away from him. He quickly grabbed her waist, pulling her back against his chest. He brushed a few pieces of hair away from her neck. He delicately pressed his lips against her skin.

“Who says we can’t,” he brushed his lips against her ear. She tilted her head back against his shoulder, breathless. “Come home with me,” he whispered before he kissed her jawline. 

“I just got here,” she let out breathily. He smiled softly before he ran his hand across the exposed skin of her stomach.

“Then I can wait,” he pressed his lips against her skin once again, “But you come sit with me and the boys, none of this,” he whispered as he guided her towards the end of the bar with his teammates. He shamelessly ran his hands across her hips, feeling the lilac fabric bunch slightly in his hands. 

“What’s this about?” Rutger asked with a knowing grin. 

“Shut up,” Luke said as he sat down on the stool, pulling Y/N down onto his lap. His hands grazed across the top of her thighs. Y/N smiled shyly towards the boys as she leaned her head against his shoulder.

~Two months later~

She slammed the door shut as she continued walking through the lobby of the dorm building that they shared. “Do not do this here!” Luke let out in a hushed voice, glancing towards the receptionist who was trying to ignore the obvious conflict. She walked past the elevator towards the stairs down the hall. “Y/N!” 

She spun around and met his gaze, she was furious. “You begged for me back! You were on your knees begging for me to come back to you!” she let out harshly. A girl left the stairwell, her eyes widened as she quickly walked past them. He clenched his jaw as he glanced towards the floor. “How could you do this to me?” she let out, a sob leaving her throat as she began to climb the stairwell. They lived on the eighth floor but she couldn’t wait for the elevator, or stew in anger with him. 

“I didn’t do anything!” he barked out as he chased after her. She laughed dryly as she stopped at one of the landings. 

“You kissed her! You fucking kissed her! You are fucking joking right?!” She met his gaze, she watched as his lips quivered as he clenched his jaw. 

“She kissed me!” he shouted back. She shook her head as she started storming up the steps again while she let out a sob. “She did! I stopped it, alright, I stopped it!” he called out after her, he quickly took a hold of her waist, stopping her in her tracks. She shoved him away from her.

“Your hands were on her waist, Luke! Are you seriously trying to tell me that you didn’t want to kiss her!?” she scanned his pleating gaze. A sob left her throat as she tilted her head back, “Please leave me alone,” she mumbled before she jogged up the steps away from him. 

“I’m sorry, Y/N, I didn’t want to kiss her, I’m sorry,” he expressed as he continued to follow after her. 

“Leave me alone,” she let out as she continued up the steps. Luke stopped short, in the middle of the steps. He gripped the railing as he clenched his jaw. He tilted his head back, smacking his head against the wall delicately. 

She continued up the steps sobbing as she finally reached her floor. She pulled the door open, spotting a friend of Luke’s enter the stairwell. She shook her head as she continued down the hall. 

Luke remained in the stairwell, staring blankly in front of him, breathing heavily. Dylan reached the landing, Luke was standing on. Luke cursed to himself as he met Dylan’s gaze for only a moment. He dropped his head. “Dude?” Dylan let out. Luke let out a huff of air as he lifted his gaze. His eyes were full of tears.

“I really fucked up this time, I really-” he stopped short as he shook his head. Dylan frowned as he hugged Luke. It wasn’t something they usually did outside of the ice but he could tell his friend needed comfort. Needed a friend. Luke reluctantly let out a sob before he pulled away. “This girl kissed me and I didn’t pull away,” he let out shaking his head, “God why didn’t I fucking pull away?” he muttered.

“I love her, Duker, I mean I really love her. Why do I fuck everything up?” he questioned before leaving Dylan alone on the landing as he walked down the steps alone.

“Where are you going?” Dylan asked. 

“I need to go somewhere,” he muttered as he wiped his hand across his eyes. He climbed down the steps as fast as he could. He has never been so angry with himself. The first time, he could mend things. It was easy, it was a horrible thing he had said but she forgave him. But this? This was close to impossible to forgive and he knew that. 

As soon as he hit the fresh air, he suddenly felt his chest tighten as he shut his eyes. He visioned Y/N laughing and smiling widely. It was quickly replaced by her tear streamed face that he caused. He walked as far away from the dorm building as he could. He needed to find a way to win her back. He wasn’t sure how he was going to do it, but he was convinced it was possible.

~two weeks later~ 

She had been avoiding his calls for the full two weeks. She could not go down the slippery slope that was Luke Hughes. Though, each night she went to bed wishing he was holding her and each morning she wished he was kissing her neck to wake her. 

She knows that he didn’t intentionally cheat on her, she knows. But she still felt betrayed and broken. She wanted to know why he didn’t pull away, why did he kiss the girl back?

She has gone to her classes and she has gone straight back to her room, in every way to avoid Luke. She wanted to avoid the desperate feeling of wanting him back, wanting him to kiss her lips. She hated how much she needed him. 

She wiped the tear that fell on her face as there was a loud knock on her door. She sighed frustratingly, knowing it was her roommate. Her roommate has forgotten her keys a mere four times in the last three days. Y/N stood up from her bed and walked towards the door, swinging it open.

“How many times do I have-” she stopped short as Luke was the one standing outside of her room instead of her roommate. His hair was messy as if he had just woken up, he was very pale. The bags under his eyes were dark. She stared into his eyes, watching his eyes water slightly. She took a shaky breath before she began to close the door.

“No-no, please-” he begged as he held his head against the door; keeping it open. She clenched her jaw as she kept her gaze on his. “Can we start over? I know you can’t forgive me, I can’t forgive myself but I can’t stop thinking about you,” he delicately found himself pushing into her room. 

“I know I'm an awful person and I have been an awful boyfriend to you and you deserve so much better than I have been able to give you,” he mumbled while he took a hold of her cheeks, rubbing his thumb across her hot skin. “Please let me be better, give me another chance,” he muttered. She shut her eyes as she shook her head softly. 

He glided his hands away from her face, he took a loose hold of her shoulders as he glided his hands from her shoulder down the length of her arms, “I’m so in love with you,” he whispered as he pressed his lips against her jawline, her whole body tightened. She tried to hate the touch but she desperately missed it.

He slowly got down onto his knees, gliding his hands along her frame. Her body was thinly covered with a tanktop and shorts. Goosebumps rose on her skin as she began to be breathless. His hands grazed over her sides as his lips delicately pressed the small exposed skin above her belly button. “I’m so sorry,” he mumbled again as he looked up towards her as his hands lowered from her waist, down to her thighs. God, he missed her thighs.

“Luke,” she let out breathlessly as he pressed a wet kiss to her skin. She ran her fingers through his messy curls as he looked up towards her. “You make it so hard to love you,” she choked out as her lips quivered. He slowly stood up, his hands grazing her skin the same way he did moments prior. She softened the longer his familiar fingertips glided along her skin in a slow seductive touch. 

His face was a mere inch away from hers, their noses delicately bumping into one another. “Why do you do this?” she mumbled as she ran her hand along the base of his neck, “Why can’t you leave me alone?” she let out as she leaned towards him, brushing her lips against his. He smirked as he met her gaze for a mere second. 

“Because you’re intoxicating,” he said as he breathed in deeply before he leaned towards her, kissing her urgently. She returned the kiss with the same amount of passion. She wrapped her arms around his neck as she eagerly jumped into his arms. He took a tight grasp of her thighs as he guided her towards the small dorm bed. He delicately placed her onto the bed as he climbed on top of her, steadying himself. He took a hold of her thigh, holding it tightly. 

She began tugging at the t-shirt covering his frame, desperate for him to be closer. It had been far too long since she was that close to him. He pulled away from her lips for only a moment before he tugged the shirt from his frame, tossing it to the floor. 

“So,” he whispered, breathlessly. She arched her back as she tugged the tank top from her frame, revealing a white lace bra. One of his favorites. His eyes instantly fell to her chest, lost for words. Lost for words like he was every time he saw her like this. She was beautiful, she was everything he’s ever wanted. 

“I can’t do this again,” she whispered as she tugged at the ends of his hair, “If you hurt me again, I can’t keep doing this,” she muttered. He ran his hand up her thigh as he held it up against his side. “We’re done if you mess up again, you got it?” she whispered. He nodded so urgently before he planted his lips against her collarbone, he began sucking on the skin as he trailed wet kisses into her cleavage. 

~A year later~

She snuggled against his chest as he stared blankly towards the ceiling, “Baby, what’s wrong?” she asked as she delicately pressed her lips against his chest. She lifted her head to look down towards his. He let out a long drawn out breath as he scanned her features. He slowly ran his hand up her back, running his hand through her hair for a few seconds before he glided his hand back down.

“I promised you that I would not mess up again,” he let out, his voice cracking as he met her gaze. His eyes softened. She pouted as she furrowed her eyebrows harshly. She ran her hand across his chest as she looked over his saddened features. 

“What’s wrong?” she asked again as she leaned towards him, delicately pressing her lips against his. 

“Nothing’s wrong, it’s the exact opposite,” he mumbled as he continued to glid his hand up her back. She glided her hand across his cheek as she leaned down and kissed him once more. He took a shaky breath, “I’m signing with the Devils, I leave in two days,” he pressed his lips together. 

She smiled widely, a small giggle left her lips. She leaned towards him, kissing him urgently.

“This is amazing! Luke, why aren’t you more excited!?” she let out as she sat up, covering her frame with the blanket. “We have to go celebrate!” she began to climb out of the bed, quickly covering her frame with her bra and underwear. 

“Y/N, he mumbled as he sat up, “It is exciting,” he muttered out. 

“We can go to the bar or we can go to Darby’s or-”

“Y/N,” he let out as he stood up from the bed covering his frame. She was wandering his room, collecting herself her old outfit she had on earlier in that day.

“I mean we don’t have to go out to dinner but we have to do something-”

“Y/N, baby, please,” he uttered. She spun around as she covered her frame with a t-shirt. She met his saddened gaze. Her smile slowly faltered from her lips. 

“Oh,” she mumbled. He took a deep breath as he watched her eyes slowly darken as she squinted hard. “You said that you didn’t want to mess up again,” she paused, “You getting the call doesn’t mean you messed up. This is great news,” she mumbled as she stepped towards him. 

He clenched his jaw as he dropped his gaze towards the floor. She took in a shaky breath as she scanned his features. He ran his hand across his nose as he avoided her gaze. “So what, you get your NHL contract and we have to break up?” she let out, nearly laughing at the words. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, I need you to realize that this isn’t going to be easy,” he let out walking around the bed towards her. She crossed her arms over her chest.

“When has anything in our relationship been easy?” she let out while chuckling nervously. “I mean-”

“Y/N, do you really think we can last long distance?” he choked out. He sniffled as he delicately rested his hands onto her waist. “I’m in love with you but I know you don’t trust me,” he let out. She rolled her eyes as she shook her head.

“I do trust you, Luke, I do,” she mumbled as she rested her hands onto his shoulders. 

“I’ve given you plenty of reasons not to, I know that. I know that this will break us,” he let out as a tear fell onto his cheek. “I don’t want this to end with you hating me,” he ran his thumb along her hip. 

“How do you know that will happen?” she asked as she scanned his features. 

“I don’t, but I would rather remember us lying in that bed, cuddling and happy. I don’t want to remember you crying over the phone because I messed up because it's only a matter of time before I mess up again,” he explained as he tightened his grip along her hips. “Please let’s just remember us happy,”

Her lips quivered as she scanned his urgent features. He didn’t want to end things, he wanted to be in love with her. He needed her, he needed her like he needed air. “I don’t want to lose you,” she mumbled as she stepped closer to him. 

“I don’t want to lose you either,” he mumbled as he urgently kissed her lips for only a brief second, “But-”

“I know,” she let out breathlessly. She met his gaze, nodding slightly. He kissed her lips, hungrily running his hands along her frame, sensually; perhaps for the last time.

[thatoneidiotyoulovesomuch]

I think one of Ever After High's biggest problems is the lack of characters and/or the lack of commitment to the rebel and royals tension. (Also this is coming from someone who has only really watched what's on Netflix. I have seen everything but I have just watched the Netflix specials wayyyyy more)

But what I mean by that is there will be moments when our main characters will be really hostile towards each other. Like during Legacy Day when all the royals were booing at Raven for not signing the book. Or the cafeteria fight after Legacy Day. Which makes a ton of sense for the plot of EAH. However, there are also a lot of moments when the rebels and royals are friendly with each other. That doesn't make a ton of sense when compared with the two instances I mentioned earlier. An example of this would be in Briar's Study Party, where they are all studying and dancing together. I just think it's strange. Also I'm not really thinking about Apple in all of this. She feels like a special case. I'm more so thinking about Briar, Ashlynn, Dexter, Blondie, Daring.

So I think in order to remedy this there are two options. Maybe even three. I'm also going to be focus on the royals more in this because I think my problems really lie with them.

Option 1: add more side characters that are the hostile ones during scenes like Legacy Day and the cafeteria fight. (Specifically royals) That way, our main characters like Brair and Ashlynn don't seem fake when interacting with characters like Raven, Maddie or Cedar outside of the scenes.

Option 2: make the royal characters specifically be mean/rude/hostile whatever to the rebels all the time. Some ways I would incorporate it into scenes already present in the show would be: when Apple and Raven are going to find a new mirror (which they go to all royals) have the royals they go to be curt with Raven. Or the look on their faces turns into a frown whenever they see her. So we can keep up the rebel vs royal and make it seem more believable.

Option 3: make the royal vs rebel tension a complete facade. A facade they only keep up around teachers or their parents. I guess one could potentially make an argument that this is kinda what the show is doing already, but not really. Because you have characters like Blondie who does everything to be consider a royal or Apple's whole thing she's got going on. It's obvious that the tension is truly there, especially with scenes like the cafeteria fight who would they have been pretending for? There were no teachers or parents there. They genuinely were fighting. So in order to make if feel like a facade I would have a scene where characters admit that they don't feel any hostility towards the other side but feel as though they need to act like they do. That would explain scenes like the booing at Legacy Day. And if you put some teachers in the cafeteria when the fight happened, it would also make more sense. But just to make it a little more interesting I would have scenes with the rebels feelings being hurt. Like Raven feeling absolutely awful after Legacy Day and refusing to talk to Dexter afterward because he was booing too. Also this pretending would primarily fall with the royals because I feel like it benefits them the most but we can have some scenes were the rebels do it too.

But those are my thoughts on that. I've always thought the characters' relationship was weird. Ever since I was a little kid. Also this is not a complaint about the show. I love this show so so so so much. It's one of my favorites ever.

[radioisntdead]

I don't mean to be dramatic, but the degree to which I need to know what Velvette does to shy singer reader the next day verges on pathological.

Good evening my dear! You are so real for that, I hope you enjoy!

Don't go wasting your emotion

Velvette x reader

Warnings: Power inbalance, things get wonky at the end because I was sleep deprived while writing, kinda trying out a format no idea if that's obvious or not.

Part two to this

Song used

Velvette took pride in her accomplishments,

she had a strong hold on hell's fashion industry, she had a HUGE following on all social media platforms, she was the youngest overlord, she was the self-proclaimed backbone of the Vee's, if she wanted something she would get it.

And what was something she wanted?

You! How unfortunate, or fortunate depending how you look at it.

"I wasn't jealous before we met,"

After your little stunt of practically serenading her and teasing her with the act of an almost kiss, the Vee became rather enamored with you.

Imagine her delight when you came into work the next day fully prepared to get a sort of revenge on you, although you were in a complete different outfit then the one you wore the night before, gone was the striking red and pink two piece, you now wore a muted green cardigan, blouse and some business casual work pants, the complete opposite of the night before.

If she hadn't seen you that night she might've have a tough time believing it was you.

"Now, every woman I see is a potential threat,"

Velvette kept tabs on you throughout the morning waiting for the right moment to corner you.

Unfortunately the morning was busy since a certain moth that should've gotten taken out by exorcists ages ago had another temper tantrum and wrecked havoc upon her floor, tearing apart a few models.

And that meant it took longer then she would've liked to talk to you.

"And I'm possessive, it isn't nice,"

She was extra snippy with everyone who interacted with you, her poor assistant who just needed to give you a run down on what clothes to pack and transport to a shoot next week got absolutely flamed, a coworker that held the door open for you was almost fired, another coworker that accidentally tripped you and apologized was fired.

"You've heard me saying that smoking was my only vice,"

Finally right before the clock stuck noon she managed to catch you alone, you were at your desk writing something down.

"But now it isn't true,"

You let out a squeak as your chair, with you in it, was spun around.

Velvette stared down at you.

"Now everything is new,"

You were a complete and utter fool to think she wouldn't recognize you, and now you were paying the price for your foolery.

"And all I've learned has overturned,"

Cold panic filled you, immediately assuming she wanted to end your afterlife, you managed to duck under her arm, slide out of your chair and what I can only describe as a sad attempt at an army crawl mixed with an undignified shimmy but it got you free.

Temporarily anyways.

"I beg of you,"

Velvette quickly caught you pinning you against a wall, your eyes darted around as you felt her fingers gently hold your chin like you had done to her the night before.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

She leaned in.

"Lay all your love on me,"

And planted a kiss right on your pretty lips.

"It was like shooting a sitting duck,"

That kiss is what sealed your fate, because from that day Velvette began showing clear favoritism for you.

"A little small talk, a smile and baby I was stuck,"

Coming to visit you whenever she had free time, or on your breaks, demanding that you go on lunch dates with her.

"I still don't know what you've done with me,"

She somehow found your awkward demeanor to be rather charming, sure it would be nice for you to ditch the whole timid thing but that wasn't a deal breaker, perhaps within time you'd become that confident person she saw on stage that managed to completely and utterly enamour her full-time.

"A grown-up woman should never fall so easily,"

Velvette showed up for each and every one of your performances, causing a racket in order to show up if needed.

She personally designed clothes for you to wear during your club performances, making sure they fit you perfectly and that they were flexible enough that you could move around with ease.

"I feel a kind of fear,"

It sent tingles down her spine whenever you got on stage and switched from the timid little thing you were normally into someone beaming of pure confidence, she loved when you would blow kisses or anything of the like to her from your place on stage.

"When I don't have you near,"

She would film your shows and post them over her socials, often posting pictures of the two of you, particularly with her arm wrapped around you in some way, she quite liked having her arm wrapped around your waist.

"Unsatisfied, I skip my pride,"

Velvette would often take you out on all types of dates, her favorites were shopping ones, she could spoil you with anything your little heart so desired, or at least she could try too, you had a way of uno reversing her and paying for her instead.

Thank goodness you got paid for your little singing performances because you'd be screwed otherwise.

"I beg you dear,"

Was there a large power inbalance between the two of you, as not only an overlord and an average sinner but as Employee and Boss.

Yes, yes there was.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

But did Velvette care about that at all?

"Lay all your love on me,"

No she didn't give a shit.

But your coworkers did!

"Don't go sharing your devotion, lay all your love on me,"

You weren't naive towards the whispers and pointed or concerned looks directed towards you, you were pretty sure some of your co-workers and friends had a mock funeral for you.

Velvette quite liked you and she refused to let you leave.

"I've had a few little love affairs,"

Sure she had a couple of flings here and there, both when she was alive and after she died, but no one was quite like you, timid and awkward in the daylight and a shining ball of confidence in the night.

Like hell's version of Hannah Montana or a werewolf.

"They didn't last very long, and they've been pretty scarce,"

It went without saying that Velvette was a very jealous woman, she was never one for sharing

Not clothes, not items, and especially not you!

"I used to think that was sensible,"

Sure she technically shared things with the other Vee's like living space, utilities, employees that weren't you.

"It makes the truth even more incomprehensible,"

She didn't like that whenever you performed on stage others looked at you with such lust and desire that it would make the radio demon himself run away with disgust.

"'Cause everything is new,"

She made a point to post pictures of the two of you, together, usually with her hand, arm, leg or something of hers on top of you, just to show all of hell that you belonged to her.

She had you in her sinstagram bio and everything.

And she made you put her in your sinstagram bio despite you barely using the media.

"And everything is you,"

Brushing over that, Your relationship with her was filled with rather sweet moments.

"And all I've learned has overturned,"

She made matching outfits for the two of you, mostly tailoring to her own styles and colors as opposed to yours, it's not her fault she liked seeing you in her colors!

"What can I do,"

She practically moved you into the Vee's tower, making sure you were no more then a three minute walk away.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

Valentino once asked if he could borrow you for a film, saying that you could be a star, after all some people had a thing for dorks like you!

"Lay all your love on me,"

She ended up chasing him down with a fork.

"Don't go sharing your devotion,"

And ended up posting a few videos of his little temper tantrums much to Vox's chagrin, that was not good for the Vee's reputation!

"Lay all your love on me,"

But it did make a point to the other two Vees that you were off limits, Although Vox did try to get you to agree to sing a jingle for a product of his.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

You were back at that same club you managed to seduce Velvette at, singing another song you enjoyed while alive.

"Lay all your love on me,"

You wore a sparkling pink outfit, heart motifs were evident on it, Velvette stared at you from across the club with pride.

Look at you! Singing your heart out while wearing one of her outfits.

"Don't go sharing your devotion,"

You leaned against the mic stand, half lidded eyes on her.

"Lay all your love on me,"

She had taken to keeping a safe distance away from the stage during your performances, not wishing for a repeat of your nimble fingers under her chin as you sang to her.

She'd rather keep that in private.

"Don't go wasting your emotion,"

you blew a kiss at her.

"Lay all your love on me."

What Velvette wanted, she got.

And she got you, and you supposed you had her as well, who would've thought that performance of yours would've resulted in this?

Good evening folks! My apologies for this being delayed! I hope you enjoyed it! Also as the song was selected per the poll and this one won, y'all picked good because the other two of the other options were going to be angsty, anywho!

as per usual thank you for tuning in! Hope you tune in tomorrow for Wednesday angst with a certain Angel!

[keruimi]

Lingering Gazes

Pairing: Bokuto Koutaro x reader

Warning: Slight Angst and Fluff

Note: I don't know how to write it better but I deeply relate to the reader. I love calm boys like Akaashi but Bokuto took my entire attention away. Hope you all enjoy!

_____________________________

When I was a kid, I always wanted someone to like me. The smart ones, and boys who can provide a good future for the both of us.

And the more I grew up, I found myself getting interested with the stoic and cool leading man in every drama I watch.

Someone who will gently treat me better than other girls. The type of man who is the dream of every lady.

And I thought I would never change that standard, even if those type of boys were the one who badly broke me.

Until I surprisingly found myself falling in love with the volleyball Ace of the Academy.

Bokuto Koutaro whose presence can immediately light up the day of the students he passed by with.

Like the Sun in my world. Like a medicine that can heal my wounds.

He is the opposite of who I wanted. Yet loving him felt so right.

But I am aware that I will just be another stranger in his eyes. An average student who is part of the audience who watched him play on the court.

Even if he is friendly, he still seems too far for me to reach.

A remarkable volleyball player in the history of the Academy.

I'm sure the type of man who will already make a name in the country would want someone as great as them.

No matter who they are. And it was discouraging.

Until that far admiration on the Ace gradually closes its distance when all the students are called to the gym for announcements.

My eyes never left his figure who kept showing his bubbly side to his friends who just keep up with the topic of his talking about.

A small smile made its way to my lips when I saw how happy he is everyday.

An unusual emotion to feel with the stress the school has given to us. That sometimes it made me think if he ever felt negative since he seems to be the only lifting up the mood.

A difficult role he manages to easily fill up.

"Y/n, what food did you bring today?" My classmate's voice made me immediately remove my gaze from the man before they look at where I have my eyes set on.

"Sushi" I whispered before I started to offer it to them and like a flock of hungry animals, they started asking for me which I always agreed on until I heard his excited voice in front of me.

"Can I have some too?"

"Bokuto-san" I heard his favorite's setter disbelief making my smile a bit bigger.

"Of course Bokuto-san. You can have the rest"

His eyes seemed to brighten up more when I lent him the container that has 5 more sushi as he gradually took it.

I can feel my cheeks getting warmer that made me start looking for my mask just to cover up the smile that is threatening to get bigger the longer he stayed complimenting the food I gave.

"L/n-san, my apologies for him"

"Did you make this? It's the best sushi I have eaten" Bokuto cut him off while still chewing the food that made my heart swell more.

It was the opportunity I took to get closer to the Ace.

I mean, it goes with the saying...

One way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

And with a man like Bokuto, that can mostly happen.

Small things can make him happy. That it pushed me to start learning how to sketch just to draw the grins that lift from his lips because of me.

Just to help me engrave that memory as one of the happiest moments in my life.

Because in even another way, I still manage to interact with my biggest crush in my entire life.

It was an accomplishment that made me different from who I was before when I just secretly liked him.

Now I started to openly show it.

And I know the people around him also began to notice.

How my eyes linger longer on his retreating back. The way my eyes seem to spark when I watch him play the sport he deeply loved.

The way I shakily gave him the bento I made for him.

It was obvious actions that he didn't think of deeper.

And it made me dejected that if I don't confess now, only my eyes would look at him with fondness.

And the hope of it returning will never happen if I stop moving.

That brought me in front of the gym doors with the sketchbook in my hands.

The best gift I can think of is to portray my feelings.

Is to show him how I look at him.

It was a lot of deep breaths before I mustered up the courage to knock on the door until his teammates teasing voice became more clear.

"We knew it!"

"Akaashi! This is your fault! You promise to not tell them!" I heard his screeching voice that made me put a hand on my mouth to suppress the giggle that is attempting to escape from my lips.

Until I stopped when I heard the next word of his friends.

"Bokuto, it's obvious that you like her. It is not difficult to know how you seem to be happier when she appears in your view!" Konoha's words stab an arrow straight to my heart when it reaches my ears.

He likes someone?

I stood silent in front of the gym door as thoughts began to appear on my head.

Who is it?

Is it fine for me to hope that it would be me?

Is she someone he knows?

Is he really in love with someone right now?

"Bokuto-san, why don't you just confess to L/n-san?" It made me snap from my train of thoughts when the familiar voice of his setter stated those words.

L/n...

Me?

"But Akaashi" my mind went blank from the conversation I am eaves dropping on right now but it didn't fail me to imagine that the Ace is pouting right now.

"Wow" I muttered breathlessly from the new revelation.

The happiness I felt was unexplainable and only the thing I did to save myself from humiliation is to back away and start running away from the gym.

Just to let this happiness be expressed.

"Oh my gosh" I felt tears form in my eyes as I stood in the school garden with the sketchbook on the bench.

I can't prevent the squeals that bubble up in my throat as I jump around in delight.

His untold feelings made me happy.

And at that time, I am not aware of how his eyes my energetic figure around the garden.

All this time...

His eyes also lingered on my form.

Like how my eyes watch him

[correctproseka]

An essay on autistic Mafuyu

Coming from a very autistic person.

Mafuyu has a bunch of autism symptoms, but a lot of them can also be explained by other reasons, such as her upbring and trauma, but not all of them, so I'm going to start speaking about the explainable by other things traits and move up to "boy you're tism". (Notw that the trauma explanation can also have a pre-disposition to happen due to tism)

In the biggest "can be explained by her trauma" category, we actually have the biggest reason people headcanon her as autistic. Her Alexithymia. Which is just a fancy word for "can't recognize her own feelings". No i did not have to copy paste that name to not write it wrong. Yes, many autistic people are bad at recognizing their own feelings, me included. But we also have to note that Mafuyu absolutely hid away those feelings for a mask and because they were needs not being met, a "good girl" like her doesnt get sad or angry right? Thats what made her push down those feelings so much she just ended up.. numb. Its extremely common in depression as well as autism which made me personally not realize i was depressed until someone made me put it into words, it was similar to my normal.

Theres also her.. exquisite vocabulary, Mafuyu uses lots of fancy terms sometimes, which is very stereotypical white boy autism. But also, she was pushed books down her throat by her mom since she was a child, she was expected to be this "fancy" and "smart-sounding". So she is.

Observant. Mafuyu doesn't talk a lot, she observes. She can recognize things on others sometimes, but mostly about the environment, which can be an autism noticing a bird singing 5 blocks away or a trauma "i need to notice this or i get fucked" reaction.

Mafuyu as mentioned, tends to listen more than speak, I am personally not this kind of autism, but it exists, Mafuyu is quiet, listening and only speaking when she feels her input is needed. This can be simply a mixture of autism and trauma. She doesn't feel the need to speak, so she doesn't, why would she waste her energy like that? Smh.. but also her good girl mask is supposed to be a good listener, not much of a yapper.

Now we are starting to move onto the things she does that are less explained by trauma and more explained by tism. Which is my favorite part to analyze.

Parallel play: Mafuyu seeks comfort with being with niigo and working alongside them, she doesn't even need to be talking, as seen by the kitty event where she kept just listening to them on earphones, she just wants to be near her people and gets calmed down by being with them.

Bluntness. As an autistic person i am extremely blunt in wrong situations, and can easily not recognize its the wrong situation. Per example Mafuyu's "why dont you imagine you're gonna get killed if you dont do it in half an hour" or all the times she points something out to Ena and gets a scream back because it was the wrong time? Mafuyu says what she thinks and when out of the mask she really. Really. Lacks a filter, because she doesn't know when or what she's supposed to speak or not

She.. kind of needs people to say the obvious? Sometimes she doesnt realize whats going on, why she's reacting in a way, so and so. One of the reasons Mizuki had to tell her it's ok to run away. Mafuyu never considered it. It wasn't obvious for her like it would be for a lot of people, she's kind of very oblivious in emotional matters like that, and needs someone (coughs usually Mizuki) to explain something to her

There's probably more but im doing this in like 15 minutes.

Plus, all in all, she makes autistic people like me really relate to her, even if they can be mostly explained by trauma doesnt mean she doesn't show those signs or that they're only because of that, even the mask she uses is a known neurodivergent thing.

[yamayuandadu]

Hey I am kinda curious are there any sorcerers in Mesopotamian mythology

Great question, genuinely a joy to research.  Depends how you define this term, I suppose. If you want to go with the dictionary definition of sorcerer as someone who possessed magical powers and uses them to harm others, the answer is pretty much yeah. More under the cut.

There’s some debate in Assyriology when to call things “sorcery” and when “witchcraft” - Tzvi Abusch (who is great when it comes to covering Mesopotamian magic but… less great on other matters) argues the difference is essentially that sorcery can be employed by anyone, and witchcraft is a label applicable to actions of a specific category of malevolent individuals (this is a distinction made in other fields too). However, Daniel Schwemer treats these terms as interchangeable because, as he points out, there is no indication such a distinction was present in Mesopotamian culture, and on top of that neither Sumerian nor Akkadian have distinct terms for these two phenomena. I personally lean towards his approach, but I admit I’m biased because I generally like his work while Abusch wrote one of my least favorite Assyriological hot takes, the dreadful DDD Inanna entry.

A good summary of the Mesopotamian image of witchcraft (kišpū), witches and warlocks (or, if you prefer these labels, sorceresses and sorcerers) can be found here and here. Witches were known as kaššāptu; the masculine equivalent, kaššāpu, is less common and never really appears alone. A second term used to refer to male witches was bēl dabābi, literally “opponent in court” but more generically also “adversary”; in this case, the feminine equivalent, bēlet dabābi, is less common, even though ultimately bēl dabābi played second fiddle to kaššāptu. 

Sometimes specific applications of witchcraft could be referred to with distinct terms. These include zikurudû, “cutting of the throat” (sending ill omens); kadabbedû, “seizing of the mouth” (causing speech disorders, but also more generally making someone incapable of verbal defense); dibalû, “distortion of justice” (pretty similar, but with obvious judicial connotations); and zīru, “hate” (exactly what it says on the tin; the goal was to isolate the target socially).Witchcraft was ultimately a pretty abstract matter, and most references to witches come from anti-witchcraft rituals. While ex. laws of Hammurabi do contain passages dealing with it - and with false accusations of engaging with it - we have no real evidence this was a matter commonly handled by courts, and there is little evidence for mass hysteria leading to actual witch hunts. The Mesopotamian image of a witch was at times essentially closer to an intangible supernatural creature than a real person (as a matter of fact, there are two Old Babylonian texts referring to a witch as a “wind demon”, lil, and as a “daughter of Ereshkigal” which might be a poetic indication of coming from the underworld). However, instructions on performing witchcraft do sometimes pop up in the textual record - there is a surviving step by step kadabbedû guide, for example.

Distinction has to be drawn between witchcraft and “white magic” (āšipūtu), which was firmly considered exorcistic or purificatory in character, and was performed by specialists called āšipu or mašmašu, typically “incantation priests” or “exorcist”. There were also less well documented related professions, like eššebû (“owlman” according to Daniel Schwemer) or mušlaḫḫu (snake charmer). Additionally, there was a large “gray zone” sometimes referred to as “aggressive magic”: love spells (rāmu; technically the opposite of zīru), rituals meant to bring success in court or in business, and so on. These are difficult to firmly classify as a part of either category, and it is quite likely that even āšipu performed them if requested to do so. 

Despite there being an enormous text corpus of “anti-witchcraft” rituals, I actually can’t think of many literary characters who could be described as witches, let alone sorcerers, though.  

One exception I can think of is the myth Enmerkar and Ensukukešdana, in which the latter of the two eponymous characters depends on the services of a certain Urĝirinunna (or perhaps Uralimnunna; see here), a nefarious sorcerer “whose skill was that of a man of Ḫamazu”. He can make livestock speak, and ends up making cows and goats debate him to convince them to stop giving milk. The milk was supposed to be turned into butter and other offerings for Nisaba, though, so soon he meets his match, a woman named Saĝburu. Her professional credentials are not described in detail but she easily overcomes him in a number of magical challenges and then kills him, stressing that she did this with divine sanction from Nisaba (these were her offerings, after all) but also other deities. After his defeat, Enmerkar is acknowledged as the winner by Ensukukešdana. I suppose this is also as good of an opportunity as any to also once again mention Kanisurra, the fakest sounding genuine Mesopotamian deity. She was the bēlet kaššāpāti, “lady of the witches” (on top of her better attested association with sex and a suggested connection with the underworld reflecting the origin of her name, which is likely a mangled form of ganzer, a rare poetic term for the entrance of the underworld). What exactly did that entail? I honestly have no clue, and I have seen basically no attempts to explain this role in scholarship. Perhaps she was responsible for keeping them under control much like how Ninkilim controlled field pests or Pazuzu wind demons.

[anastacialy]

actually, fuck it, i AM writing the essay, even if no one will read it.

my thoughts on penelope, how she sees herself, and why the carriage scene's ending is the most important thing in the whole wide world under the cut. and bridgerton season three part one spoilers, obviously.

penelope featherington hates herself. bit of a strong start here but, there we go. that's what you get when i'm going feral about her again at three in the morning. (it was eleven a.m. when i finished writing this post. i rewatched all four episodes of season three...)

i'll start from the beginning — she isn't a confident person. i think that's what a lot of penelope hate really comes down to, not relating to her in that way at all. not understanding what being treated the way she has can do to you. so let's start here:

imagine for a moment, no one fucking listens to you.

this includes her favorite people in the world. her family, for one thing, that's obvious, but her best friend, too. many times we hear eloise discover and re-discover what penelope's interests are in the series because, as she says, "i didn't really hear it." she was so frequently not really listening to her. they've been friends for years, but huge aspects of her friend's personality were completely unknown to her. this isn't anti-eloise by the way, i love her too, but we're adults who can admit our favs are all flawed people. the show wouldn't be nearly as fun if they weren't. eloise continues to belittle others for their interests when they don't match up to hers (like that poor girl who was just really passionate about embroidery) and she's done so to pen, however unknowingly, for ages.

penelope tried to beg marina to not fool colin into marriage. she had so, so many other suitors, so many other choices she could have made. all pen wanted was to not have her other best friend slash crush make that life altering of a mistake. but for this, she was called a child. immature. talked down to as if she knows nothing about the world. (she had been mostly right, by the way, in her insisting that george must still love marina, would still want to marry her, discovering that the letter had been forged. if he'd not died on the battlefield, penelope would have been the one to secure a happy ending for marina.) when she wasn't listened to then, she got more desperate, telling colin that marina was in love with someone else to deter him from the marriage while still careful to not ruin marina's reputation and expose her pregnancy in the process. she tried. but no one would listen.

so only when the situation became dire, she did the only thing that she could, and took matters into her own hands.

which brings us to lady whistledown.

it's interesting, really, that she chose that name. to specify lady so she might be taken seriously, yet not hide under a pseudonym completely removed from herself (i.e. using a masculine pen name or implying she's not a part of the ton at all) it's clear that lady whistledown is, for the most part, what penelope wants to and yet fails to be: someone who commands attention, who people admire and trust for an opinion, someone who gets listened to.

by the time we find her in season three, she's fresh off hearing her crush saying he'd never, ever court her, and her best friend finding out that she was lady whistledown all along and had exposed a secret of hers — only after penelope had, of course, also begged eloise to stop seeing theo, to stop raising the queen's suspicions, and was once again ignored. her only friendships have been destroyed, and she has resigned herself to a loveless marriage of convenience because she can't stand to be ignored, controlled, and belittled by her family any longer. she's ready to take the devil she doesn't know over the devil she does.

so, when i say her self confidence is on the floor, i mean it.

yes, a sliver of hope remains in her, and we can see that in her decisions (wearing parisian fashions, for instance) but her plan remains, she is simply going to marry someone, anyone, because she has to.

but even still, her confidence has not taken it's last hit.

let's imagine some more: no matter what you do, people are going to laugh at you.

penelope finally, finally gets her big moment. people stare at her as she enters the room. she still immediately hides herself in a corner because that's who she's always been, but still. she has a moment. not quite what she'd imagined, i'm sure, as she bought all new gowns, but attention and awe nonetheless. but it cracks almost instantly when her social awkwardness comes out, failing to get anyone to ask her to dance, and shatters completely when cressida destroys her dress before she can ever take to the floor.

colin tells her she looks nice, and her immediate reaction is "do not mock me, please."

it's only after this that she confronts colin about what he said, only after this that she speaks ill of him as lady whisteldown — not saying any more than what his sister had already pointed out earlier in the episode, mind you, that his change in personality seemed disingenuous — only after she has been publicly humiliated that she lashes out in her anger.

and, this anger, she also immediately regrets after colin has proven himself to be kind. it's a bit like making a snide comment online without the ability to delete it after.

but when penelope has hope, she is kind. she writes of the promising ladies of the ton and wishes them well with their matches, when she has hope she speaks positively of would-be spinsters and their successful marriages. many of her earlier musings in previous seasons were to call the women of the ton beautiful, to speak to their skills.

but hope for penelope does not last long. she manages to successfully speak to one suitor at the next ball (which, though this is another argument entirely, is backed by a string quartet version of "jealous" as colin re-approaches her at the drinks table — any arguments that his feelings start at their kiss isn't paying near enough attention) but the entirely true rumor about her having help from him spreads through the vine and penelope is hopeless once more.

and a hopeless penelope is a cruel penelope, as we've seen, and this time, she turns that cruelty inward, publicly. while she later says it would have been suspicious if lady whistledown hadn't commented, in truth, she has proven time and time again that her emotions rule lady whistledown's writings. in that moment, eyes tearful, she was embarrassed and ashamed of herself, she decided to say so. she repeats the same sentiment to colin when he comes to visit her:

"in truth i brought this on myself. a sad, stupid girl who believed she might actually have a chance at love."

and here is where lady whistledown continues to be someone penelope sees as different to herself, because penelope doesn't see herself as a lady. not just for lack of title — she does not see herself as worthy of or requiring protection. to call back to antony's season one romance: "every woman is not afforded such gallant protection." "every woman is not a lady."

she says nothing of him bribing her maid to give them time alone. like most of the ton she doesn't think the time they spend alone together could be anything other than platonic, at least on his end. they spent extended time unchaperoned at the bridgerton house and not once did she speak on impropriety. he'd been alone with her in the previous season and even when they were caught no one had a thing to say about it. no one questions it because penelope is not recognized as desirable, not seen as needing this protection, not seen as a lady. she is seen, even by herself, as a spinster already.

when she asks colin for a kiss, she reassures him that she would ask nothing of him for it, she would not entrap him in a marriage citing impropriety, she doesn't even think about whether someone might see. she does not care in this moment if she is to be "ruined," she only wants to feel some illusion of intimacy, some imitation of being wanted. even her running back inside immediately after, and the subsequent conversation under the willow tree, are further proof that she doesn't believe he could have kissed her for any reason other than pity.

and, even after all she goes through with lord debling, she is still not the only object of his affections. the entire time she pursues him, cressida is there, hot on the trail, ready to sweep him away on a moment's notice. penelope writes of their dance that his choice of her is surprising. though her feelings for colin have not simply fluttered away once debling's shown interest, her possible engagement to debling is on a wavering tightrope. not once in this can she feel wholly at ease with lord debling, only afforded a bit of security once he asks her mother for her blessing. and amongst this, her mother still belittles her, saying she should not become greedy for wanting to marry someone who actually cares for her.

she asks lord debling if he might ever love her, in all the years of marriage they may have ahead, and he says probably not.

and when colin breaks up her proposal, insisting debling isn't right for her, still penelope does not even consider, can not even conceptualize that it might be done out of jealousy. colin having feelings for her is laughable, she says as much, and it is the same thing she has been told over and over since the start. he chases after her carriage out of breath asks to be let in, gets on his knees and tells her he can't stop dreaming of her and she tells him "please. do not say things you do not mean." she cannot imagine that any of this is real. it is confusion that prompts her to repeat the agreement they had in episode one, "but, colin, we are friends."

and while an entirely separate essay could be written about the rest of the carriage scene, it is what happens the moment the carriage arrives at bridgerton house that stands out to me. they have this moment, colin asks "could the carriage driver not keep on driving?" and they both laugh, the way they always do with one another, and he fixes her dress (carefully, avoiding using a select few fingers as he does so) and they kiss again, and he gets out of the carriage.

and for a single, heartbreaking second, penelope's face falls, and she calls after him: "colin?"

it is so clear in her demeanor that she thought that was it; that's all she gets. the fantasy is over and it is back to reality. for a split second, she believes he is no longer hers.

for a single second, it's as though she thinks he is going to shut the carriage door on her, and walk away.

but he turns around, hand outstretched, asking if she'd like to come in. and she's once again confused, "what?"

do not say things you do not mean. do not mock me please.

and when he says: "for god's sake, penelope featherington, are you going to marry me or not?"

she looks so relived she could cry.

[taylorrepdetective]

Have you talked about How Did It End?

If the goal was to make us uncomfortable, then the goal is was achieved with me.

I haven’t, other than saying it’s one of my favorites.

Oh boy this turned out to be long. Sorry.

I think this song is primarily about having to deal with the gossip surrounding your relationship, specifically with the perceptions of the end of a relationship that everyone thinks they know a lot about, but actually don’t. And as a celebrity like Taylor, having everyone talking about how it ended and thinking they know the various reasons, based on Taylor’s own storytelling she’s done about it (which is never going to be 100% reality) and also based on gossip that’s just “out there” based on what people think they know about Taylor, whether it’s what she has pushed people to “know” or some of the more salacious stuff she’d rather people didn’t think.

Now, most of us have had to deal a bit with this. Having to tell people something ended. Some have even had to tell about calling off an engagement or letting everyone know you’re divorcing. It’s gonna be hard, having to first tell intimate friends/family who may know a lot of details already, but then also people less close to you over and over again: coworkers, your hairdresser, your 2nd cousin you only see at Thanksgiving who may have heard tidbits from your Aunt who heard tidbits from your mom. This second group in particular don’t know all the drama and non-dramatic stuff that happened that led to the end. They might be shocked because you seemed so perfect for each other. Or they may say when you’re not around, “yeah that’s not surprising, you know how she is.”

But when you’re Taylor Swift, you meet A LOT of people. And when your life is splashed across the news front page, and you’ve made a career out of singing about your life and letting people in on the intimate moments (songs about sex, songs about depression, songs about joy) and you’ve built a parasocial army of people who think they really know you, the response to the ending of a relationship is going to be an overwhelming cacophony of opinions and expressions of sympathy from people who really don’t know anything, but think they do.

And I think this is part of what my interpretation of this song differs from what others have said (though admittedly I haven’t read any long winded analyses of this song. Maybe this is obvious.) I feel like most people read through the list of reasons it ended in the verses:

Hot house flower to my outdoorsman (him introverted, her extroverted)

Incurable maladies (both have depression)

Birthright became foreign (soulmates to distance between)

Blind to unforeseen circumstances (unexpected bad stuff popped up -stuff like the masters heist or whatever paper thin best laid plans they had)

Different dances (not on the same page)

Interlopers glances (cheating, emotional or otherwise)

Lost game of chance (bad luck)

as Taylor telling us and the gossipers how it ended.

But if you look at it a different way, you can interpret it as this is a list of speculation by the gossipers of how it may have ended. It’s not Taylor saying why it ended. You can recognize everything on this list as things people speculated about what caused it to end.

Look at the first line of the song :

We nearby conduct this post mortem

Who’s we here? If it were Taylor telling all, it would be “I hearby conduct”. Also “We must know.” So to me, the We here is us, the GP, her acquaintances. In other places in the song though, we is them as a couple. “This is what happens to us.” But imo, there are clear points where it’s the audience giving their opinions or asking why. Whenever I think of these people in relation to Taylor, I picture her hairdressers (same as the person at the beginning of Paris.) This is just my own personal visualization of people who gossip. But you can also just as easily picture a few swifties you follow who always pretend to know her and what’s going on, often people who met her once or twice, or you can picture some podcasters who make money off pretending to understand her best, or DeuxMoi who claims to have sources who know her, or the people at the office water cooler saying “oh did you hear about Taylor and her boyfriend, what was his name? Joe something?” Or teenagers texting each other the news on April 8th. It’s all of us, some who think we know a lot (stand) and some who only know the bare minimum (average GP person who reads People magazine at the hairdressers.) But I like to imagine it being someone who does actually know Taylor a bit, which is why I choose the hairdresser. Notoriously gossipy, notoriously able to get people to tell them some personal things, but Taylor certainly won’t tell them the whole truth. Imagine the question “oh honey I heard the news about you and Joe. How did it end?” And she’s gone through this so many times. Since she was 18 years old. People being nosy, thinking they know more than they do. And then those people tell all of their friends (even if there was a bit of a promise to not) and gossip spreads within the industry and people think they know. Same with gossip spreading through the fandom or gossip spreading through the GP.

And since I believe many of her public relationships have been fake and she has had private relationships that began and ended generally without these people knowing about them, but also in some cases these people did know about the secret things but they only knew a tiny bit, it brings a whole other layer to this. *Hairdresser whispers* “Oh I heard that secret thing I know about ended, gosh I’m so sorry. How, you two seemed so perfect for each other?” And all the while they are thinking: Did she really betray you? Did you really turn down a marriage proposal from her? Did she really cheat on you? Did you really fall in love with the beard? Did you hear about your ex friend’s sister hooking up with that wanna be Z-lister?” They may not directly ask these questions or say these things but want to. They know not to cross that line but they certainly are curious and they certainly gossip about it later. “I did Taylor’s hair last week after the news came out and let me tell you she looked sad/manic/fine/robotic and I think this must be what happened…” And some of them probably do ask these questions straight to her, and she has to answer in ways that protect her and the other person’s privacy. It must be really hard. And the thing is most of these people are decent people. They aren’t trying to hurt her. They are the empathetic people she mentions in a couple of songs. At least they think they are. But Taylor knows the real motivation here is curiosity and gossip. They might also care about her but not in a real way, because she is mostly a fictional character to them. The gossip is just as, if not more important. And part of her does want to be understood. She wants to be seen. But she also wants desperately to protect herself. It’s such a double edged sword that she grapples with constantly.

Finally, we get to the bridge, a place where sometimes in her songs she changes perspective, goes outside the story told in the rest of the song, changes it up, adds a twist, and I believe this is her herself silently screaming into the void how it really felt, what really happened. Her and her ghostly lover, metaphorically dying together, mourning their loss together. This bridge is some of the best writing on the album.

And it’s like her herself ending the song with this mysterious:

I still don’t know, how did it end?

Why wouldn’t she know how it ended?

All around a great song full of the folklore of Taylor Swift.

[gatorsnot]

me: (had never been super invested in mlp) also me: (binging infection aus despite not having a damn clue what's going on or who's who)

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for “assuming someone’s tone” and leaving a TTRPG a few hours after joining? 🤡🎲

This happened a while ago but I’m still baffled by it. Basic gist of the situation is that I (18) joined a campaign my friend, Rye (18) , was starting. She added me to a group chat for planning purposes after giving me the basic spiel about the campaign.

For context, I’d been in a larger group chat with some of Rye’s friends before, one that Cole was also in. He kind of rubbed me the wrong way - he only really responded to his favorite people (and it was very obvious who his favorites were), he had some annoying but harmless texting behaviors… he was also needlessly rude to a friend of mine (they answered a question he had posed, he swore at them and said he wasn’t finished asking, they said they’d thought he was finished because of the punctuation, he said it would have been clear to anyone else who had read his texts that he wasn’t finished - it was a whole mess) and that type of behavior continued to the point where they left that group chat. I stayed, but I blocked Cole just because seeing his messages was irritating me, but I still wanted to talk to Rye and some other friends I was starting to make.

Fast forward about half a year, and I joined Rye’s group chat for the campaign, realizing that Cole is also in the group chat. I was immediately on guard, but I was willing to put the past bad vibes aside to be able to play with him. I unblocked him (I don’t think he ever knew I had blocked him in the first place, we didn’t have many one on one conversations before this) to be able to work with him better. I was the last to join the group chat and so went to read what others had been saying about their characters before making my own. The first red flag was that Cole described his character as a loner who never spoke to anybody and kept to themselves in the shadows (edgy, but whatever, I could live with it). I saw most other people had included what class they were going to play with their character descriptions, but Cole hadn’t, and because I didn’t want to step on anyone’s toes/wanted to have a balanced party, I asked him what class he was playing. To which he responded, “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

…Red flag number two. I took a second to cool off before I responded, and when I came back he and another player, Oliver, were talking about what I had said. Cole was saying, “Who said we all had to play different classes? That’s a dumb rule,” which infuriated me but I just responded with “Nobody said we HAD to, I just wanted to for my own enjoyment and to diversify the party. But you’re right, we can still have plenty of fun even if two characters are the same class.” I decided to just let it go, and that if I ended up playing the same class as him, he couldn’t really complain.

So I started creating a character concept, and while I was looking through my D&D materials, Cole was complaining to Oliver in the group chat about a certain collaborative aspect of character creation he was struggling with because his character wouldn’t know anything about anyone else (because they were such a loner. This is why solitary characters with no social connections don’t work for collaborative games!). I hopped in and suggested that maybe Cole could do the collaborative portion in a meta way instead of through his characters eyes; if anything, it might help with brainstorming. He responded, “I beg of you to read my character description. If you did you’d see my character wouldn’t be able to do this because they don’t talk to anybody.”

Huge red flag - number three. A) I had read his character description. B) I had just proposed a solution for his second sentence. We are not friends, and it baffles me to this day that he thought responding to me so passive aggressively was an appropriate way to talk to someone who’s pretty much a stranger. I pretty much realized that I couldn’t just take shit from him and I needed to stand up for myself, so I very politely told him, “Hey, please moderate your tone. You’re not speaking to me in a way that’s very nice.”

He said, and I quote, “That’s not my intended tone. Sorry. I guess I’ll just go.” ???? Red flag four? At this point I was pretty sure I didn’t even want to play with him, but that response was something I expected from a 12 year old, not a full adult, and I was so confused at this point. Oliver spoke up and said they were feeling uncomfortable, that it was probably just a misunderstanding and Cole hadn’t meant to be hostile, and that we were all in the group chat to just have a fun time and play a game together, so let’s all be nice to each other. That also made me angry, because there had been no point during the conversation where I had been anything but polite, and Cole had been rude to me multiple times. I still kept my text calm and told them that even if Cole hadn’t meant to be hostile, his words still came across as hurtful, and that’s all I was saying. I told them I was going to go work on my character, and assumed the conversation was over for now.

I left for maybe ten minutes, and when I came back, it was to a full page-length paragraph of text from Cole.

“i cant really take responsibility for your assumptions on my tone man. especially when i was just asking you to read my characters info thing and then providing the context anyway so you wouldnt have to go look for it. its not really fair of you to bite at me based off of what you assume my tone is without asking for clarification then still tell me it came off as hurtful when i and another person stated that the tone wasnt hostile. if my nonexistant tone is off it is because i am immensely overwhelmed due to several reasons, in which your assumptions of my tone did not help im too tired to try to think of whatever tone tags would fit here but please take responsibility for your assumptions instead of treating me like i was in the wrong for trying to clarify something to help you understand something”

That was the last straw for me. I didn’t even respond, I just straight-up left the group chat. I was genuinely at a loss after reading that, and I knew I would never be able to play with Cole, so I messaged Rye (who was asleep at the time) privately and apologized for leaving so abruptly, that I wouldn’t be able to play with someone who couldn’t respect me, and that I hoped she had a lot of fun with the campaign and wished her all the best.

She responded the next morning saying it was all good, but I can’t help wondering if I’m TA for “assuming” Cole’s tone and not “taking responsibility” or for leaving so soon after joining without really giving playing a chance.

[tongues--and--teeth]

I think all of the coffee cookies need glasses. Comes with the territory.

The real reason Cappuccino isn’t here

[daydreamerdrew]

All-Star Batman and Robin, the Boy Wonder (2005) #1

[technicalknockout]

rewatching carl

[mtt-burger-emporium]

thinking about chara and the implications of the line "chara hated humanity. why, they never said..." like ok i KNOW something was happening at home. chara baby you didn't deserve that shit i'm so glad you fell down a thousand feet in a cave hole and right into the arms of people who would keep you fed roof over your head and would never raise their hand against you. "eradicate humanity" you're 10 years old how about eradicating your shitfucked surface fam by calling cps first

[p2iimon]

okay! okay theyre here ive got!

SOLLUXLIKER my homestuck blog!

MOONDANCERSBOOMBOX my mlp blog!

NAP-STAB-LOOK my undertale blog!

YELLOWRABBIT87 my fnaf blog!