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#i think jealousy is so much harder to read from wilson because he puts his own feelings on the backburner so when house does get in a
thefuturewithoutus · 1 year
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7x16 'out of the chute' x 7x12 'you must remember this'
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saidrolav · 3 years
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We know.
Sam Wilson x gn!reader
(bit of Steve Rogers x gn!reader (platonic))
Summary: You're in a secret relationship with Sam and things go out of control when Bucky and Steve find out about it.
Warnings: none! purely fluff! :))
A/n: Hiii everyone! I'm participating at the writing challenge of @sweeterthanthis with my babe Sam, been dying to write for him lately!! Congratulations on your 6K followers!!! Hope you enjoy! #quotemeonit6kchallenge
Prompts: “They don’t know that we know they know we know.” - Friends
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not my gif!
Bucky threw his bag across his appartment that he shared with Steve and made this one jump when he heard the door slam. The blonde frowned and looked at Bucky with concern but before he could say something the brunette spoke first.
"You'll never guess who i saw at the coffee shop." A wide smile took place on Bucky's face which made Steve smile too.
"I don't know, who-" "I SAW Y/N !" Steve frowned with confusion but Bucky once again said something before he could answer. "That's the thing! They told us they were going to the library." "Hum, yeah, but they could've stopped by the coffee shop you know.."
Bucky jumped next to Steve on the couch where he was sitting and his smile was growing wider and wider as much as Stevie was talking. "They weren't alone !" "What ?" "They were with Sam !" Steve's eyes widened before smiling too, realization starting to hit him and Buck only got more excited at the reaction of his friend.
"You think they're dating ?" "Definitly." The brunette looked absolutely confident about what he was saying. "They saw you ?" "No." "How do you know ?" "I know when i'm being watched-Okay anyway, it's the perfect time for pranks !" Buck always liked to make fun of Sam and if Steve could be a part of a prank, he will.
Steve got up from the couch and started walking, with his head in his hands, searching ideas of pranks to do on you and Sam. Pranks sounded appealing, he didn't thought of a second choice, why would he ? Suddenly something popped in his head and he turned around to face Buck with a huge grin plastered on his features.
"So, they don't know that we know ?"
You and Sam weren't dating for so long, maybe 2 or 3 months but it was love at first sight. When Steve had introduced the two of you Sam was speechless by your beauty and it was the first time he didn't know what to say to a charming person to make them blush. Steve and Bucky didn't noticed the chemistry between the two of you but both, you and Sam knew there was something going on inside your stomachs when you were close, and it was intoxicating.
When you were around each other your whole skin felt like burning and your mouth was going dry. Him, he was lost in his thoughts while looking at you and was somehow shy to say dumb things, he didn't wanted to look like an idiot in front of you. His heart was shattering everytime you would laugh and even more if he was the reason of your laugh, he felt like you weren't thinking he was stupid and, it was a relief for him.
So, as soon as the two of you started dating the first thing you started to do was hiding your relationship to everyone. You didn't want anyone to interfere with your relation because it was just, too perfect. You were scared that any little thing would break everything and it was way too soon to tell everyone that the both of you were dating.
The lies started soon towards your two bestfriends Bucky and Steve, and today was like any other day. You said to them that you were going to the library only to met Sam at the coffeeshop and as always he would take your breath away. Even if you were dating for 2 months he was always stunning to you, he greeted you with a hug and a huge smile which you fastly returned.
Your date was going abdolutely perfect like you had imagined. You and Sam talked about everything and he was really funny, as always, he was making you laugh like no-one ever did. It was amazing. After a good thirty minutes and a cup of coffee you frowned a bit when you saw Steve's number appearing on your phone. You apologized to Sam quickly before answering, taking a last sip of your cup.
"Hey y/n! Are you busy right now ?" You frowned even more and gave a quick glance at Sam before answering quickly.
"No, no i'm not, why ?" You waited slowly for the blonde answer while biting your lip, afraid something happened to him.
"Oh cool! Huh," you heard him clear his throat trough the phone, "I was thinking maybe we could go on a date somewhere.. Just the two of us." Your eyes widened suddenly and Sam choked on his coffee. Wow. You clearly weren't expecting that, like, at all, especially in front of Sam. Steve was asking you on a date ? He was like a brother to you, like Bucky, and all of this seemed so weird to you.
"Hum.. Steve i like you a lot but, not in that way, you know.." Your eyes were scanning Sam's face for help but he clearly was under the shock himself and you could see a bit of jealousy in his features.
"Oh! Huh, that's okay, see ya!" Before you could say something else he had already hang up, leaving you alone with Sam and the silence between the two of you. After a couple of minutes in a huge akward silence, Sam talked.
"They know." You furrowed your eyebrows and tilted your head on the side, waiting for him to explain what he meant. "I mean, they know about us! And they're messing with us. Bucky or Steve must have seen us together. Steve wouldn't do that to you, i mean, i hope." A bright smile took place on his lips and soon on yours too, it all made sense.
"So, now that they know we can tell them about us!" You took his hands with excitation but he cocked an eyebrow at you while a mischievous smirk replaced the smile on his lips. "But, they don't know that we know that they know." You frowned even more and at this point your head started to hurt of too much thinking but after you had figured it out, it was your turn to cock an eyebrow at Sam.
"What do you offer ?"
"The messers become the messees !"
On the other side of town, Bucky and Steve were way too happy about their joke that they had ordered pizzas to their victory.
Little did they know that on your side, you and Sam were preparing your revenge. Soon, the laughs of the super soldiers were cut by a phone that was ringing and Steve realized it was his. He took it in his hand and cocked an eyebrow, showing the screen to Bucky and he read quickly your name on it.
Steve answered to your call while frowning. "Y/N is everything okay ?" He took a slice of pizza and shoved it in his mouth fastly.
"Yeah Steve! I kinda changed my mind, i'm fine with going on a date with you!" Steve's eyes widened and he opened his mouth but no sound came out and he went back to reality when Bucky slapped his arm. "O-Oh really ?" "Yeah! I'll pick you up at the appartment in ten minutes be ready!"
Bucky eyes widened and got up from the couch suddenly making movements to tell Steve to stay at the appartment so he could hear how the fake date would go. "Yeah huh, actually, don't pick me up, let's just stay at my place!" He cringed at himself for saying this to you because he clearly had only platonic feelings around you. "Fine! See ya later!" He said a quick goodbye and got up from the couch too looking at Bucky with horror.
"I can't believe Y/N would do that to Sam!" Bucky frowned and Steve too, realization hitting them. "Okay, they know. They're pranking us too. They're not backing down! What do we do ? You're gonna have a date! But... They don’t know that we know they know we know." Bucky cringed too and run his fingers trough his hair while searching for an option. "I don't have time Buck they're coming here in like, 10 minutes!" "Okay i'll be in the bathroom, get ready, if it's getting out of control come to see me." Steve nodded quickly, hating the idea of having to fake a date with you when he clearly didn't want too. In what did he had gotten into ?
You couldn't believe what you were doing, you were on your way to have a date with your bestfriend and your boyfriend was going to listen to the two of you at the door. In what world were you living in ? You were stressed as ever and squeezing Sam's hand harder than you ever did. He was whispering you calming words while playing with your hair all the way to the super soldiers's appartment. When you got here he gave you a quick kiss that gave you butterflies and made your cheeks turn a deep shade of red.
"Hey, i'll be there okay, you're gonna do great, show these grandpas who is the boss." He chuckled and you joined in before knocking to the door, Sam hiding in the staircase quickly after you did so.
The door opened and you were met by the tall blonde you always knew and the weirdness was soon here. You wondered for a brief moment where Bucky was but the silence was soon your main priority. Steve took your coat in full silence and you couldn't imagine how much Sam was going to make fun of you after this fake date. Long minutes passed by and you only made small talk with Steve you guys ate pizzas in silence and everything that was going on was way too weird. How you ended up in this situation ? You had to do something, the silence filling the room was too much, it was overwhelming!
You took a deep breathe and putted down your drink and looked Steve in the eyes. "Steve, the silence is too much. I know you know i date Sam. I don't know how but i know you do so please. Can we just stop that and have a real conversation ? The date, the pranks and all it's all just too strange to me." You chuckled and he let out a loud sigh of satisfaction while a smile took place on his features.
"Oh my god! Thank you, it was Bucky's idea and it felt terrible doing that to you." He rubbed your back while giving you a gentle smirk.
"It felt terrible for me too, i mean for Sam, i've never felt so much love for someone and i was scared of everything that could've happened if i told you and Bucky and... i love him. I couldn't ever do that to him, he's my whole world." You returned his smile and you heard a door opening. You turned your gaze towards the sound and saw Sam standing in the entrance with the biggest grin on his face that you ever seen, you thought on the moment he could cry. He ran towards you and squeezed you harder than ever while you laughed like crazy, Steve joining your laugh fastly.
"I love you so much too! You don't know how good it feels to hear it from the person i love the most in the world and that is even here in my dreams." He winked at you before the two of you laughed. "I mean: I love you cutie." He took your chin between his thumb and index and kissed you like his life depended on it. You slowly closed your eyes and so did he. Butterflies errupted in both of your stomach and your lungs were out of air, you were reciprocally taking both of your breaths away. He putted his arms around your hips and you putted yours on his neck. You could feel him grin in the kiss and you guys kept kissing even when you heard another door opening.
"STEVE YOU MESSED UP OUR WHOLE PRANK !"
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afro-elf · 6 years
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How to Listen to Hozier: A Guide in Escapism with The Troubadour Hero
@farrahda5hy wrote this days ago and it’s every thought i’ve ever had about this fucking album and i really feel understood
The narrative I am proposing is personal to me, and I do not claim that it is proper or correct way to listen to this album. However, I will be providing commentary on how I compose this specific narrative. These steps are really boiling down how I perceive things so see them as the end all be all. The instructions are comprised on two main factors: one’s beloved and the constructed world that exists in one’s mind.
1. First, identify your beloved. I don’t have a significant other which is why I probably am going to choose Sweet Andy Hozier himself. Also, he’s a neat guy and quite a charmer and activist…etc. This step should be easier for those are in relationships. As reductive as this may sound, it is important that one chose a few words that summarize the relationship with one’s significant other. 2. The self-construction is really only important to listen experience. It’s really where your mind goes to when you’re listening to the album. For those who are taking the beloved to the narrator (Andy as Narrator maybe) approach, I assume this step would be harder or potentially easier as one’s mind is free to run wild as you are not tied down to reality. As a creative writer, I live and thrive in this space.
I am choosing the words: Fluid, Bold, Chaotic, Sarcastic, Overwhelming, and Passionate.
As for this world construction, I usually go back to my hometown within the Appalachian mountains, specifically the Smokey mountains. For me, this place represents a mysticism that I have created for myself. Honestly, it is quite the opposite of the Bog People villas described in the album, but there’s a large number Irish descendants in this area. But like I said, it’s more personal and obviously idealistic. I don’t care for my hometown, but I’m in love with how it made me feel and the bastardized version of it that exists in my head now that somehow blurred into my new city.
Taking these basic elements, I’m forming this new track list organization. Hold on to your hats, it’s going to get fucking wild and possibly a bit fanfic, so as Griffin McElroy says “just fucking play in this space with me.”
Track one: Take Me to Church.
Yes, don’t at me. This song is in fact the first song on the album, but I think it sets the tone for the narrative. Two lines that stick out are “She’s the giggle at a funeral” and “My church offers no absolutes.” Honestly, these lines really stick out to me. Immediately, it identifies the woman in the relationship as other to what is excepted in society. Quite frankly as black woman, I’m kind always in that category, you know. Not to mention the hella gospel tones and such. The second line mentioned out of context is very much a declaration of acceptance which is bomb, but also naive in a way in a new love sense. Because of course within relationships, there are aspects that are fine in the beginning or on some levels but cause problems in the long-run. For me, I identify as the woman who the subject of the song. Honestly, I’m that gal who’s going to say wise shit to you, but will also doubt herself. But I’m a “fuck what the world thinks” person and overcompensate by existing in this “let’s take down the world” ideology.
Track two: Jackie and Wilson
This song is so damn playful, and it’s this feeling of hopefulness and disappointment in a way. Really the entire breakdown of the song throws your head into a loop. There’s this one-sided commitment, and I guess when I get to that part of the song I’m always thinking “yeah, bud, I like you, but shit, this thing can’t last forever right? Don’t tie yourself down to me because woof…buddy, I’m a roadtrip you do not want to go on.” The song is trying to come to terms with a partner who isn’t giving their 150%. Also, for my mental music video, Hozier has his hair down the entire car ride and sunglasses on, and I’m sticking my whole body out the car with an lit cigarette in my left hand while we do donuts in Kroger parking lot.
Track Three: Angel of Small Death and the Codeine Scene
This song is another one where the breakdown of the song is the most powerful. Really the song speaks for its self. The relationship just is toxic and overwhelming and in need of escape. Every time I listen to this song, I imagine myself in a basement at a drum set. It didn’t really occur to me that it’s the chaotic feeling and the need to escape that I have latch on to.
Track four: Someone New
Forget everything you know about this song, okay. Because this song is literally the “Take Me or Leave Me” moment. Literally until the breakdown of the song, I imagine the beloved singing the verses rather than Sweet Andy. It’s very much a “we’re not working. We’re trying other people.”
Two things I want to highlight: the lyrics of the breakdown. This first part will not make as much sense until I talk about the next song. But Jealous!Hozier is a fucking thing. I find this interesting, but until then, there’s this “I’m level headed and open about my emotions” air about him. But this delightful pang of jealousy adds dimension to what I call the Hozier Troubadour Hero. The female character (or the one I have constructed in my own head) as main vocalist is just as level-headed and falsely self-aware. Then there’s this arrow of “oh yeah we’re doing this thing and seeing other people, but I’m not happy about seeing you with other people.”
The line “Love with every stranger. The stranger the better.” I love this wordplay. But against the line “how pure how sweet in love Aretha that you would pray for him,” it’s fucking taunting and bitter as hell. Really, starting the album of with Take Me to Church reflects this disregard for organized religion, which is no stranger to Hozier, but the beloved seems to still exists in that sphere. But I also want to read in another way that it’s bittersweet to the Hozier!character that this beloved still prays for him although she’s involved with another person. I don’t know. It’s interesting.
Quickly, I want to highlight the other vocal overlay that actually comes between the two lines mentioned. I get this air of confrontation and then the “NO ITS COOL IM HAPPY THAT YOUR HAPPY WITH SOMEONE NEW”. Once again, I imagine this argument taking place in an apartment living room.
Here, I would like to introduce a distinction between the characters. The Hozier character is very much fluid that is very self contained chaos whereas the female character is very much open chaos. As a fire signs, I totally get that. Hozier being a water sign is very fluid in what we stereotypically thing as fluid, but we also don’t always see water as destructive in comparison to fire.
Track Five: From Eden
To this day, I still wonder if this is a love song. I’m not sure if it’s supposed to be. But I find this song to be one of my favorites.
I want to flip the imagery of Jackie and Wilson and delve more into the Chaotic!Hozier characterization. Obviously, this song is very upfront with the Garden of Eden serpent allusion. This song exists in the uncertainty of relationship. The “are we or aren’t we” spheres. To sum it up, this is a conversation happening in a car. Oddly, person in the passenger seat (Hozier) is leading the conversation and the beloved as the driver really doesn’t want to have this conversation.
The ending of first verse give us little snippets, and it appears that the beloved flaws are being pointed out or Hozier is anticipating the responses from the driver. But also let’s return back to this serpent imagery. Hozier aligns himself with the serpent in Eden, so the idea of corruption is very highly in this imagined car ride.
When I first heard this song, I got the “bad boy who doesn’t let everyone know he’s a bad boy” vibe.” I really gripped on to this concept; along with other religious allusions, I really don’t know how to objectively look at them. For me, it’s a little “Walk to Remember-ish” where the preachers daughter is in love with the bad boy. I don’t know, but really at the heart of it, the narrative boils down to “I’m going to corrupt this persons core, and I don’t have remorse at all.” Understanding what this concept means on personal level will determine whether it’s a love song or whether it’s an act of selfishness disguised as love.
Track Six: Foreigners God
I’ll admit. I didn’t really get this song after my initial listen to the album. I think for me it’s just too personal. I grew up in a Christian household, going to a very charismatic church. So the line that really sticks out it’s very simple “It’s Foreign to me”. I’ll just leave that there.
It’s really an outsider looking in and not understanding and forming their own opinions. While “Take Me to Church” is very much a “sex in an abandoned church (or whatever) type of jam that highlights the oppressive aspects of organized religion, “Foreigners God” really displays the frustration of separating the comforting parts from all the oppressive aspects.
This scene takes place in the abandoned church, and I want to react in this way of “God is here” in this desolation that some people don’t understand. Going back to that fire fluidity, I just imagine myself dancing in this church with like a song under my breath and releasing all this anger I’ve shared with no one. Then Sweet Andy Hozier is just watching in the door frame in the background. Not even sitting in the pew.
Track Seven: Cherry Wine
I think I’m just punching a window out. Car window. A church window. A bedroom window.
This pivotal point of realization that “hey maybe you’re the one that’s holding you back and lashing out at people isn’t the best.” But the tragedy is there’s still a lack of self awareness. Like you’re angry but you still put blame on other people. Yeah…
Track Eight: Sedated
This song is another one of those songs that I interpret as the point of view of the beloved based on the breakdown of the song, but I still want to look at the Hozier character POV
“Darling, don’t stand there watching won’t you come save me from this. Darling, don’t you join in you’re supposed to drag me away from this.”
That’s desperation. That’s a little toxic in a way. Expecting a person to save you, but yet, forgetting that person may need saving themselves is selfish. What makes Jackie and Wilson so tragic is this naivety. “She’s going to save me call me ‘baby’ run her hands to my hair.” Yeah, that’s sweet and cute, but what are you doing in return. Falling in love with this idealized strong woman, but then denying her the opportunity to be vulnerable is very much the corruption I spoke about in From Eden.
Honestly, the worst part about hiding vulnerability is when it rushes out like a dam breaking or when a fire is no longer contained.
Track Nine: Arsonist’s Lullaby
I call it the pagan ritual version of Foreigners God or when Chaotic!Hozier is at his most powerful and vulnerable. Why? Is it the relinquishing of this vulnerability for his beloved to use as her discretion or is it his acknowledgment of hers and offering to aid her in channeling it? Yes, but it’s also the fire within him, the passion, the chaos, and the darkness that fuels him. He is both talking to the beloved and himself.
For the sake of the conversation, this scene also takes place in the same abandoned church, and Hozier gets up to where he stage used to be; barefoot and hair pulled back. At first, he’s swaying gently, fluid like as flame is first lit with back facing the congregation. He’s like this for a few moments and then he’s twirling around the abandoned stage until he’s almost stomping his feet. Thump. Thump. Thump. Suddenly, everything changes and his hair falls out the ponytail and turns around and the stumps are more violent, yet the dance is just as fluid until he steps down from stage…the intense eye contact is fucking overwhelming. He just walks out the abandoned church leaving his shoes like some awoken wild child.
Track Ten: My Love will Never Die
Do you like blues? Welp. This song speaks for its fucking self. Do you want Sad!Hozier crooning in a room by himself? Because that’s what he’s doing, babe.
Track Eleven: In the Woods Somewhere I get a lot of fever dream vibes from this song, so I can only imagine it as something just not real. So I present you with an actual dream I had about Hozier I had once.
Pretty much, I dreamt Hozier was this shapeshifter who turned into a fox that was terrorizing the town in his fox state. It was more a vigilante like thing, but it was tragic because I had to kill the fox out of mercy.
The song also talks about a similar scene. So mercy killing when you’re in love is very much something that hard to describe, but you have to do it to the other person when you love them. I don’t know. So just imagine Hozier shooting up out of dead sleep fever dream.
Track Twelve: Run
Also a ritual dance, but also possibly a fever dream? This song introduces the field/nature imagery to relationship narrative. The metronome in the background mirrors the jerky dancing of the beloved from the Foreigners God portion but the tempo of the drums gives rhythm to the fluidity of the Hozier!Character. Both of these two sounds represent being grounded, and they work in unison. This unison is a first really. Playing that fever dream, the song seems to end abruptly and I think that’s the true awakening of the Hozier!Character physically and emotionally.
The dream itself is the couple dancing in a field together in the afternoon. I could go further with this dream, but I’m going explain it as actual event later.
Track Thirteen: It Will Come Back 
The best song on the album, not to mention a song of seduction. It’s an unintentional sexy song. I wish it were a duet or at least have more prominent female background vocals. While seduction isn’t the best term for the overall narrative, what I am trying to say is a song of pleading for so many things: to be let go, to be let in, or to be cast aside to make it easier to move on. Wild Eye, Sleep-Deprived Hozier is walking around barefoot at three am across town to reconcile his feelings, and then he’s just singing and howling outside my house? Of course, I’m going to let him in. “Don’t you hear me howling, babe?” The faded of the last line is so interesting, and it brings me back to Sedated’s line “I keep catching little words, but the meanings thin.” I just occurred to me is that the expression of vulnerability is very metaphorically, but on the literal manifestations are different. The Hozier!Character is very much a “tell me with your words”; the beloved is very much “tell me with your actions. “Don’t you hear me howling, babe” takes on another meaning in which the question is literally “you’ve seen me vulnerable, but did you hear what I actually said. I love you so much that it’s animalistic and consuming the humanity in me.” That’s oddly beautiful. 
Track Fourteen: To Be Alone 
So I bet you were wondering when I was going to talk more about the location part. Well, here is it. I grew up in the middle of the Bible Belt. Sometimes when you’re not conforming you feel like everyone is looking at you whether they are or not. At on a more concrete level, my hometown used to have a festival called the Fall Festival, and they would have a series of out door concerts of various artists. This event was usually held downtown. Honestly, I’m not to big on crowds, but at the same time, I adore being alone in a crowd or with one person while out in public. To Be Alone captured that vibe very well. Returning the relationship, at this point, the air of ambiguity of relationship still exists; however, the relationship is heading toward stability in my opinion. I just love the image of Chaotic!Hozier dancing in a crowd simultaneously ignoring everyone else while be fully away of the contained space he’s got to be close with his lover. Then just going the fuck home for sex just because the mood allowed it to feel sacred in some way. Maybe it was the dream of the two lovers dancing in the field. 
Track Fifteen: In A Week 
The only duet on this album! UGH SO DAMN GOOD! A lovely balances of vocals; they are playing off each other. It’s very much stereotypical “we finish each other’s sentences” concept but actualized very well. So maybe the sex didn’t happen after the festival, but that closeness and intimate is still present. Despite being allergic to grass, I like lying in the grass. I also like the macabre. So nothing is out of place, and it’s all intimate joke to describe a seemingly tragic love that is no longer tragic. 
Track Sixteen: Like Real People Do 
Something tragic about that this song (it’s probably the true story behind it) but also romantic. As the penultimate song in the album, it’s very much the final acceptance of all the flaws, frustrations, and the opposition within. Not to be sexy, this song is the foreplay to the final song. This is the outside conversation on the porch before you invite your lover into the house to stay the night and lead your lover upstairs or to the couch or the floor Whatever floats your passionate boat. 
Track Seventeen: Work Song 
It’s the only song on the album that doesn’t seem to have baggage behind it. It’s purely romantic. I put this song in opposition to Take Me to Church really. I imagine that’s why I put it at the the end. This song is true acceptance not the fake acceptance in Take Me to Church. The line “Heaven and Hell were words to me” signifies this point. Everything I’ve described throughout this narrative as been about duality and finding where the lines blur for this relationship to be functional. “Work Song” finally rejects that ideology and allows the relationship to heal and flourish. So in this moment, let’s return back to this abandoned church that this couple has made their own sanctuary (face it they are fucking weird) but it’s not broken down or stuffy. It’s homely as they camp out for the night making their bed at the abandoned altar. The couple makes love in the moonlight that peeks in through the shattered window. The whole damn cosmos witness the rebellion that manifests in their love. So yeah, I’m curious to what the narrative of the reverse of this track list. I didn’t have this narrative planned out in my head. It just came organically as I was writing. Honestly if i had written my original idea it would have been more fantasy driven and a lot more Chaotic!Hozier. If you’re curious about that let me know. Also, I will try to do one of the original track list because it’s more of a challenge.
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