#i think she'd live for quite a while

[androcola]

does mike ever get a dog in the early seventies for Micky or whenever You passes?

AUGHH...WHY DO U HAVE TO BRING UP THE INEVITABLE 😭😭😭very very very unfortunately he can't,as they still live in the pad, so they cant get any animals:((

[bumblingbabooshka]

[Not] Weird Kids

[sovonight]

,

[dampfoxes]

thinking about lady B and how after her husband killed her, he spent the rest of his life in that house and lady B was stuck there as a ghost. she had no choice but to exist in the same space as him. see him bringing men from his staff to what was their bedroom... for YEARS

[ashfae]

The thing about romance is, it makes a good story.

As soon as Neil described season 2 as "quiet, gentle, romantic" I figured we'd be in for it, because as he's the first to point out, writers are liars. And the best way to deceive is with truth.

Season 2 is romantic. The trappings of romance are everywhere. Crowley tries to set up Nina and Maggie by trapping them under an awning during a rainstorm, a classic cinematic bonding technique. Aziraphale's chosen method comes from his beloved books: the ball, the dancing, appearing as a pair in public, hands held as you twirl gracefully with your heart thrilled and racing. If they can set up a sensational kiss that will unlock the happy ever after. They've lived on earth, they've studied the tropes, they know how romance works.

The problem is a story is only a story.

Nina and Maggie had the classic romantic setup completely by accident before Aziraphale and Crowley ever began trying to interfere with them. They get locked in Nina's coffeeshop. They can't escape or communicate with anyone else, they end up talking by candlelight because there's no electricity, Nina offers wine. Maggie mentions how she'd hoped for a chance to talk to Nina, and now here they are. It's every bit as much a standard as what Aziraphale and Crowley attempt to arrange. Blanket scenarios galore exist because of that starting point. We love that story. And there's nothing wrong with that.

But it's still only a story, it's not enough. Because once that moment of connection is over, however lovely it was, all the rest of the world comes flooding back in in the form of dozens of angry text messages. Nina's messy entrapping relationship hasn't magically gone away just because she and Maggie shared a romantic encounter.

And it's so tempting think oh well, that's easy. We'll just give them more romantic encounters and eventually those will overwhelm the rest of the baggage. Must do, because it'll make them fall in love, and once they realize they're in love that trumps all other considerations, right? So it'll be fine. Love Conquers All.

Neil also mentioned Pride and Prejudice.

Darcy knows he's in love early on and makes a disasterous proposal that shows that he has no understanding of Elizabeth's perspective, possibly hasn't even thought about it. They've been meeting in forest lanes for walks, conversing, had tete-a-tetes in the sitting room, danced at a ball. And while his turn of phrase isn't as flattering as he thinks, he's still offering her everything he thinks she wants and needs: affection, security, his good name, wealth, an escape from the embarrassments of her situation, the world. How can there be anything to object to? Why would anyone ever refuse so much of value?

Elizabeth quite rightly cuts him to pieces. He lashes back with a few hard truths of his own and they separate. During that separation, he thinks and he learns. He takes to heart the criticisms she offered, re-examines his assumptions, opens his eyes. Thinks about her perspective and how sometimes the only difference between pride and arrogance is where you're standing. He does the work. When they meet again he tries to demonstrate that he's learned--not in order to court her again (yet), but because the only real apology he can offer, the only one that would have weight, is to show that he's grown, he listened to her. He changed.

Elizabeth of course has her own journey, accepting that many of her own conclusions about Darcy were erroneous because they were formed without her having the full picture to hand, and once she's done that she has to apply it to her own situation as well. She loves her family, but they do place her at a disadvantage on a number of levels, leading eventually to full-out disaster as her younger sister carelessly ruins all of their reputations. It's hard to admit, it's mortifying, but Darcy was offering her a great deal she needs. His offer did have worth for all that she dismissed it as an insult. And as she learns to value his own character more highly, and then as she sees that he did listen to her even though she insulted him so thoroughly...well, she grows too. And when they do eventually come together it's not because of courting and balls. There's a big romantic gesture in his rescue of her sister but even that isn't why they'll get their happy ever after. It was just the catalyst for the conversation. They win because they've learned how to understand each other and how to communicate for the future. How they can strengthen and support each other, how to balance their strengths and weaknesses. The films leave them at the wedding, but the book shows a bit of their marriage too, and during it they keep learning from each other. Their relationship is held up as a superior love story for good reasons.

The end of season one was romantic too. Crowley stopped time rather than face a world where Aziraphale would never speak to him again, Aziraphale walked into hell to protect Crowley, they dined at the Ritz and toasted the world. But then they stopped. Sure they spent time together, talked, enjoyed each other's company. But if they were talking about important things would Crowley still be living in his car? They had a bit of respite but all that real world baggage that exists outside of the romantic moment hasn't been faced, none of it. Four or five years sounds like a long while but for beings who are quite literally older than the earth? That's just an intermission.

Nina's relationship ends, leaving her with a tangled mess; Maggie realises the sweet dream of love she's been longing for isn't as important as the real Nina. They talk. They plan. Nina will sort through her life, get closure, figure out what went wrong with Lindsay and what she wants from a relationship, learn how to ask for respect instead of just bending under her partner's demands. Maggie will support Nina the way Nina needs, which sometimes means helping her get oat milk for the shop and sometimes means giving her processing space. They're on the same page; they're going to do the work. That's why most likely they'll succeed. To quote one of my favourite fanfics: it's not happily ever after, but it's a chance. It's all going to be okay. (The Profane Comedy by Mussimm, who absolutely nailed this theme)

The romance is nice, it's lovely. We need it to keep ourselves going. To give ourselves the dreams that help us get through the days and nights. But it's not the relationship. It's not enough on its own. The wedding can be the grandest most beautiful ceremony ever with doves flying and sweeping music and bells ringing, but that doesn't guarantee the marriage will last.

Crowley and Aziraphale have had their romantic gestures, oodles of them. One wing raised to protect the other from falling stars, another from rain. Shared ground, shared interests, hands offered in friendship and held on a bus. They've tried to get to the same page, they really have. They just aren't there yet. The biggest most important things still haven't been talked about, and season 2 showed there are even more of those big important things than we'd realised.

The show paints Maggie as Aziraphale's foil and Nina as Crowley's, even to the point of Nina casually calling Maggie 'angel'. But Aziraphale's baggage is Nina's. The toxic relationship has to be processed and understood and closed, and it hasn't been, despite season one. Lindsay never really liked Nina very much, for all that they tried to keep her trapped; Heaven never really liked Aziraphale very much for all that he believed in it. They both let themselves be used. But Lindsay left Nina and went to their sister's, whereas now the head of Heaven has reached out to Aziraphale and said here, we can fix this, you can fix this, don't you want to fix this? Others are already writing about that and maybe I'll add to it later, not sure. And Crowley, like Maggie, has had a sweet dream that he has to set aside. Maybe he'll be able to pick it up again eventually, maybe not. But sometimes you offer support by buying oat milk or rescuing your beloved from the legions of hell, and sometimes you do it by standing back while they sort through their shit.

Quiet, gentle, romantic. It was.

But that's only part of the story. Now they have to do the work. They thought they had, but they were wrong, because there's so much they just hadn't touched yet and tried to cover over with relief and sleight of hand and alcohol and forgiveness. The apology dance doesn't mean much without showing that you listened and learned. They've faced so much trauma already and that should have been enough, we wanted it to be enough and so did they and it's such a blow for it to turn out that there's still more to do, that the baggage hasn't just gone away and can't be hidden under blankets or soothed with cocoa. The texts are still coming in and demanding answers.

But it'll be okay. It will. It's still a chance. And one that in the long run makes them better, builds something real that lasts.

The best stories, the ones that last longest and become classics, are the ones that don't end with the kiss under the awning or the blanket scenario or the wedding. They're the ones that heal us while the characters heal themselves. It's hard to accept that there's still more to do. Harder to imagine how it can possibly work out. And yes, bloody frustrating to wait and see.

And we'll get through that interim by telling even more stories. Because the story is never just a story. It's how we get through the work, it's what we tell ourselves so we can do the damn work. Stories are what we cling to and how we remind ourselves we're human and connect. A book is a person you can carry with you. We're not alone, none of us, stories connect us because we love them and see ourselves in them, which means we see each other.

Aziraphale's back up in Heaven to deal with his unfinished baggage; Crowley left his behind long ago and it's clearly going to come back and bite him in the arse however much he tries to go his own way. And they can't help each other with that. Not yet.

But they'll get there. So will we.

[cookinguptales]

You know... I had an experience about two months ago that I didn't talk about publicly, but I've been turning it over and over in my mind lately and I guess I'm finally able to put my unease into words.

So there's a podcast I'd been enjoying and right after I got caught up, they announced that they were planning on doing a live show. It's gonna be near me and on the day before my birthday and I thought -- hey, it's fate.

But... as many of you know, I'm disabled. For me, getting to a show like that has a lot of steps. One of those steps involved emailing the podcasters to ask about accessibility for the venue.

The response I got back was very quick and very brief. Essentially, it told me to contact the venue because they had no idea if it was accessible or not.

It was a bucket of cold water, and I had a hard time articulating at the time quite why it was so disheartening, but... I think I get it a little more now.

This is a podcast that has loudly spoken about inclusivity and diversity and all that jazz, but... I mean, it's easy to say that, isn't it? But just talking the talk without walking the walk isn't enough. That's like saying "sure, we will happily welcome you in our house -- if you can figure out how to unlock the door."

And friends, my lock-picking set is pretty good by this point. I've been scouting out locations for decades. I've had to research every goddamn classroom, field trip, and assigned bookstore that I've ever had in an academic setting. I've had to research every movie theater, theme park, and menu for every outing with friends or dates. I spend a long time painstakingly charting out accessible public transportation and potential places to sit down every time I leave the house.

Because when I was in college, my professors never made sure their lesson plans were accessible. (And I often had to argue with them to get the subpar accommodations I got.) Because my friends don't always know to get movie tickets for the accessible rows. Because my dates sometimes leave me on fucking read when I ask if we can go to a restaurant that doesn't keep its restrooms down a flight of stairs.

I had one professor who ever did research to see if I could do all the coursework she had planned, and who came up with alternate plans when she realized that I could not. Only one. It was a medical history and ethics class, and my professor sounded bewildered as she realized how difficult it is to plan your life when you're disabled.

This woman was straight-up one of the most thoughtful, philosophical, and ethical professors I've ever had, one who was incredibly devoted to diversity and inclusion -- and she'd never thought about it before, that the hospital archives she wanted us to visit were up a flight of stairs. That the medical museum full of disabled bodies she wanted us to visit only had a code-locked back entrance and an old freight elevator for their disabled guests who were still breathing.

And that's the crux of it, isn't it? It's easy to theoretically accept the existence of people who aren't like you. It's a lot harder to actively create a space in which they can exist by your side.

Because here's what I did before I contacted the podcasters. I googled the venue. I researched the neighborhood and contacted a friend who lives in the area to help me figure out if there were any accessible public transportation routes near there. (There aren't.) I planned for over an hour to figure out how close I could get before I had to shell out for an uber for the last leg of the trip.

Then I read through the venue's website. I looked through their main pages, through their FAQs to see if there was any mention of accessibility. No dice. I download their packet for clients and find out that, while the base building is accessible, the way that chairs/tables are set up for individual functions can make it inaccessible. So it's really up to who's hosting the show there.

So then and only then I contacted the podcasters. I asked if the floor plan was accessible. I asked if all the seats were accessible, or only some, and whether it was open seating or not. Would I need to show up early to get an accessible seat, or maybe make a reservation?

And... well, I got the one-sentence reply back that I described above. And that... god, it was really disheartening. I realized that they never even asked if their venues were accessible when they were booking the shows. I realized that they were unwilling to put in the work to learn the answers to questions that disabled attendees might have. I realized that they didn't care to find out if the building was accessible.

They didn't know and they didn't care. That, I think, is what took the wind out of my sails when they emailed me back. It's what made me decide that... yeah, I didn't really want to go through the trouble of finding an accessible route to the venue. I didn't want to have to pay an arm and a leg to hire a car to take me the last part of the journey. I didn't want to make myself frantic trying to figure out if I could do all that and still make the last train home.

If they didn't care, I guess I didn't either.

If they'd apologized and said that the only venue they could get was inaccessible, I actually would have understood. I know that small shows don't always get their pick of venues. I get it. I even would have understood if they'd been like "oh dang, I actually don't know -- but I'll find out."

But to be told that they didn't know and didn't intend to find out... oof. That one stung.

Because.... this is the thing. This is the thing. I may be good at it by now, but I'm so tired of picking locks. I'm tired of doing all the legwork because no one ever thinks to help me. I'm tired of feeling like an afterthought at best, or at worst utterly unwelcome.

If you truly want to be inclusive, you need to stop telling people that you're happy to have them -- if they can manage to unlock the door. You need to fucking open it yourself and welcome them in.

What brought all this back to me now, you may be asking? Well... I guess it's just what I was thinking to myself as I was tidying up my phone.

Today I'm deleting podcasts.

[doberbutts]

The guy who does the lab pickups at my job is an afroarab Muslim guy and he'd been the lab guy for A While prior to me starting and I was in conversation with a coworker when we both realized that we did not know his name. I at least had the excuse of being new, but it shocked her to know that she'd seen this man's face every day and not once had ever thought to ask his name.

So the next time he came in I asked, and he smiled and told me. It was a very Arabic name, and he speaks with a pretty heavy Arabic accent.

Christmas season that year came and went and I asked him if he celebrated. He sort of dodged the question, so the next time I saw him I asked what holidays he did celebrate. He became extremely bashful before mumbling that he just celebrated two. I asked, is it Eid? And he suddenly perked up and smiled said yes, and he observes Ramadan too.

I think, genuinely, that he expected to be punished for reminding me that as an Arab man he was significantly more likely to be Muslim than Christian. I am sure he has heard all sorts of nasty things and experienced all sorts of terrible discrimination. But he was happy when I recognized the signaling, and happy that I wanted to offer my respect to him.

This year, Ramadan is fast approaching, and so is my surgery date. I will be gone for most of Ramadan since it begins two days before my surgery and the day after my leave begins, so I warned him that I wouldn't be there to wish him well during, and I might not be present for Eid depending how long the surgery recovery goes before I can come back to work.

When I tell you this man was visibly worried. I told him I might be able to be back for Eid, and he said "I hope I will see you then."

When I asked him his name, he told me very few people ever bother. I began to make it a point to greet him by name every single day I see him.

And he always greets me back and calls me his friend.

There's no moral to this story. I just. I think this is how I want to live my life. By making it plain that I am standing in solidarity and peace with those even when they are quite different from me.

[girlgenius1111]

overworked

putellas!reader r is struggling with being a full time student & playing for Barça, and being alexia putellas' sister. she turns to some unhealthy methods to cope, and her sister is not pleased when she finds out. warnings: panic attacks, hospitalization, drug use [very mild]

--------

"Alexia," Olga murmured, shaking her girlfriend gently. The blonde only mumbled incoherently, rolling away from the disruptive sound of her girlfriend's voice, and tucking her head under her pillow.

"Alexia Putellas Segura," Olga repeated, yanking the pillow away.

"Hey! What do you want?" Alexia asked grumpily, glaring up at her girlfriend.

"I think your sister is still awake. I went to get water and her light was on."

Alexia sighed, running a hand over her face. "What time?"

"It's 3am."

"Hermanita loca," Alexia groaned, rolling off the side of the bed and directly onto the floor, before popping up and heading for the door.

"You are so dramatic." Olga sighed, rolling her eyes at her girlfriend's antics.

You'd lived with your sister for a while now; after signing with Barça, Alexia had convinced your mami that the best thing would be for you to live with her. Alexia could keep an eye on you, and Eli wouldn’t have to deal with the crazy schedule you had to follow. 

Being a 20 year old playing for the best football club in the world, while simultaneously being a full time student was not easy. In fact, you were pretty sure it was slowly killing you. 

You were, and always had been, a perfectionist. You weren't a quitter. In your family, you saw through your commitments. So, even though you were dead tired, stressed beyond belief, and barely keeping up with your coursework, you wouldn't give up. You wouldn't even drop a class. You were running yourself into the ground, and everyone around you could tell. Well, mostly everyone. 

You'd heard Olga get up, and you knew her well enough to know that she had probably woken your sister to tell her that your light was on. Before she could come marching into your room and take your computer, you flicked the light off, shut your laptop, and burrowed under the covers.

Sure enough, your door creaked open a minute later, and your sister poked her head in, finding you 'asleep'. She knew you, though, too, and she didn't buy it for a second.

"Nice try." She said, voice just above a whisper. She moved towards your bed, flicking the light back on, and grabbing your laptop.

"Alexiaaaa," you complained, pretending she'd woken you. You squinted your eyes at her, removing the covers from your face, finding her staring at you with one eyebrow raised. You knew you were fucked, but you needed to get this essay done, tonight. The thought of adding it to tomorrow's to-do list made you want to cry.

"That was quite a performance." She opened the computer, where your essay was still pulled up, and looked at the document history.

"'Last edit made: 3 minutes ago'. Do you think I don't know all your tricks, nena?" Alexia teased, shutting the laptop again, and moving to get off the bed to leave the room with it. She caught your facial expression, though, and realized you were barely holding back tears.

"Hey," she said softly. "What is it? What's wrong?" Alexia took a seat back on the edge of the bed, brushing a piece of hair out of your face as you blinked hard, willing the tears away.

"Please give it back." You managed, gesturing towards your computer.

Alexia grew stern once more. "Nena. No. It's late, and you need sleep. This isn't healthy."

"I need to finish this essay, Alexia, please," you pleaded. You and your sister were similar, especially in that you were both very stubborn. The chance of either of you letting up was... low. Alexia held your computer, though, and therefore, held all the power.

"No. You can finish it tomorrow."

"I can't! We have training, and I have an essay to do for another class, and an exam to study for, and a presentation to start, and-"

"You are working yourself too hard, nena. None of those things are more important than sleep. You can turn in some things late, it won't kill you."

Unlike you, Alexia was not a perfectionist; at least not when it came to school. She tolerated it for as long as she had to, before putting all of her energy into football. It had paid off, but Alexia never understood your need to be a good student, to get the highest grade possible in everything.

This very distinct difference between the two of you often caused confusion on Alexia’s part, and frustration on yours. Alexia didn’t understand why you couldn’t just relax about school, and you didn’t understand how Alexia expected you to be okay with getting anything less than a perfect score. 

“Alexia,” you began. 

“No. Sleep.” Alexia insisted, leaning down to press a kiss to your forehead before leaving your room, your computer held hostage in her arms. You waited until her footsteps faded down the hall before you grabbed your phone from the nightstand and opened up your essay. It wasn’t ideal, but it needed to be done. Sleep was the last thing on your mind. 

You finished the essay an hour later, which gave you only 5 hours of sleep. Still, you’d trained with less sleep, and you probably would again. 

--------

Being the sister of the best in the world wasn’t easy. Alba had been telling you that for years. Being the sister of the best in the world, and playing the same sport that she was the best at, though? That was a different kind of nightmare, one which you lived everyday. 

Though the athleticism genes seemed to skip right over your middle sister, it was clear to everyone that from a young age that you were talented on the football pitch. The 10 year age gap between you and your sister meant that Alexia had always blurred the line between parent figure and sister. Once you got serious about football, Alexia made it her mission to make sure you were the best that you could be. 

From extra training to talking about tactics while you were supposed to be studying for school, your sister had always made it clear to you that if you wanted football, school would have to come second. Your mami disagreed heavily, but no one on earth had the will to stop Alexia doing something she’d decided was important. And as her baby sister, you showing interest in following in her footsteps was the most important thing. Ever. She’d moved you in with her when you were 18, still playing on the Barça B team. It was because of your sister that you excelled enough there to move up to the first team by the time you were 19. 

Your sister had been stunned when you told her you intended to attend university and get your degree while you continued your football career. For her, football was it. Football was everything. It was all she had ever wanted to do, and all she would ever want to do. For you, though, it was much more complicated. You loved football. And maybe you would have loved it as much as Alexia did, if it hadn’t been for your sister herself. 

It was a combination of things that had begun to leech away your love for the game. It was the pressure Alexia put on you, for sure. The demand for perfection at all times, even if she told you that it was okay to make mistakes. It was the expectations inside of the team to be a mini Alexia, to take charge and be a leader even though you were much shyer and quieter than she was. Above all else, though, it was the feeling that nothing you would ever accomplish, no matter how hard you tried, how hard you pushed, would ever be enough. Alexia, the public, the team, the coaching staff, they all expected you to be a younger version of your sister. They expected you to do what she did, sooner than she’d done it, and better than she’d done it. 

The pressure mounted. It built over several years, accumulating until you were 20 years old, and you weren’t even sure why you were still playing. You didn’t think you loved football anymore. You kept going because of Alexia, because you’d made commitments. But the truth was that you worked so hard in school because that was your safety net. It was your chance to do something that was your own, do something that Alexia hadn’t done first. It was a place where you were spared constant comparisons to your sister, a place where you felt like yourself, your own person. 

You loved Ale; that wasn’t the issue. It was just that very accomplishment you had was tinged with it just not being as good as something your sister had done. And it felt like everything football related you would ever do would be overshadowed. 

It felt like if you ever wanted to be something other than Alexia Putellas’ baby sister, you’d have to do it someplace else. 

So it was a full workload of classes for you, on top of training with the team. On top of playing for the national team. Alexia didn’t understand why school was so important, no one did. But you were committed to having a back up plan. Football wasn’t your passion at the moment. So much of the joy you had while playing had drained away. 

You couldn’t slow down with football, that was out of the question. And you couldn’t slow down with school, either, not if you wanted to graduate on time. Your only option was to push through. 

It was inevitable, really, that you’d stumble, that it would all become too much. And inevitable that you’d break. You just couldn’t fathom what would come after that, so you plowed forward. Moved steadily ahead, towards the edge of a cliff. You didn’t know what awaited you at the bottom once you fell from the edge, but you were well past caring. 

-------

Your sister always kept a close eye on you during training. She made sure you were hydrated enough, that you didn’t get overheated, that you weren’t doing anything to risk injury. Any hint of discomfort on your face had your sister yanking you off the pitch and dragging you inside to get evaluated. 

No one could ever accuse Alexia of not caring. 

Today, she noted that you looked preoccupied. And that you’d brought your phone into the gym with you, which in and of itself wasn’t odd. It was the way you were checking it obsessively in between reps that had Alexia slightly concerned. You weren’t talking to your friends the way you normally did, and just as Alexia had decided to put her foot down and pull you aside, you picked up your phone again. 

This time, your face dropped, all the color draining out of your cheeks. Before Alexia could take even a step in your direction, you were slipping out of the gym, rushing into the locker room as you stared at something on your phone.

“What are you doing?” Alexia said, following you into the locker room. 

“I- I got a grade back.” You told her. 

“A grade?” 

“On the exam from last week,” you whispered. 

“Is it bad?” Alexia wondered, taking a few steps closer to you. Her mind flashed back to when she used to have to show Eli a bad grade she’d gotten on an exam during school. Normally, she’d slip her the paper and take off to hide in your room, because Eli didn’t like to yell in front of the baby. Alexia wondered if you were so upset because you were worried about her reaction. 

“No Ale, I did well, that’s why I'm freaking out,” you snapped sarcastically, falling back down onto the bench as your chest heaved, hiding your face in your hands. “I can’t breathe.”

“Hermana?” Alexia asked, brow furrowing with concern as she looked at you. 

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” you repeated, your voice muffled by your hands. 

“What is happening?” Alexia asked, her face clouded with concern as she sat down next to you. “Hermanita, tell me what is wrong.” 

You thrust your phone into her hands. It took Alexia a moment to figure out what she was looking at, but then she saw the grade reflected back at her. It wasn’t bad by any means, but it wasn’t your usual perfect score. 

“Nena, this isn’t bad,” she tried, but you pulled your hands away from your face to glare at her, barely able to form words. 

“It’s- not good enough, Ale, I need to do bet-better than that, it’s not good enough,” you sobbed. Alexia couldn’t remember ever caring this much about a grade, but she knew how different you were from her, and she did her best to comfort you. 

“Hey, hey, it’s okay nena,” she soothed, noticing Irene and Mapi walking in through the locker room door, looking concerned, but she couldn’t tear her focus away from you. You’d gone completely silent on her, the only sound you were making being a choked gasp as you tried to inhale enough air. “Nena?” 

“Ale, help,” you cried, both of your trembling hands clawing at your chest. Your face was rapidly losing color and you looked completely dazed and completely petrified. Irene and Mapi moved closer, looking between the two of you.

“Hermana?” Alexia panicked. You shook your head, a few tears escaping. You swayed in your seat, tilting forward until you were half leaning on your sister, and gripped onto her shirt with your hands, desperate for some relief from the tidal wave of terror and panic rushing through you.  “Nena, talk to me.” Alexia said, rubbing your back as she looked between her teammates. 

“Can’t breathe,” you gasped, “chest hurts.” 

Alexia froze, but Irene snapped into action. 

“Mapi, call an ambulance.” She instructed. “Ale, let’s get her on the ground before she passes out.” 

The world was swirling around you, nothing comprehensible. Before you knew it, you were laid on the floor of the locker room, your head resting in your sister’s lap as her hands anxiously fiddled with your hair. You could see her mouth moving, and you tried to force your ears to hear anything other than an echoing ring. 

“You’re okay, nena. You’re okay, I’ve got you. You’re going to be just fine.” 

You blinked, but when you opened your eyes next, you were moving through the halls of the Barça facility. You felt a bit like you were floating, and though there was a mask on your face that was forcing oxygen into you, it still didn’t feel like there was enough air on earth to fill your lungs. 

You blinked again, and Alexia’s face was hovering over yours, along with the face of a stranger. You could hear a bit better now, and even as your eyes tried to shut, you did your best to listen before you drifted back off.

“-does she keep passing out?” That sounded like Alexia. Worried Alexia.  

“A lack of oxygen, she’s breathing too rapidly. Every time she comes to, her heart rate picks up again.” 

“Stay awake, please,” Alexia begged, the paramedic next to her forgotten as she glanced down and noticed your eyes were open.  

And you wanted to, but you couldn’t. You couldn’t think, you couldn’t move, you couldn’t breathe. You were pretty sure you were dying, and the only thought you had was that at least the anxiety would finally stop. 

-------

You were completely calm when you woke up. Sleepy beyond belief, and your body felt heavy, but you were calm. It was hard to peel your eyes open, and harder to try to move your hand to rub at your eyes. 

You remembered what had happened, but you didn’t feel panicked like you normally did. The constant pulse of anxiety wasn’t running through you as it normally did, and though you couldn’t figure out why, you were relieved beyond belief. 

“Hey,” Alexia whispered. She was sat at your bedside, cheeks alarmingly tearstained. 

Your guard was up instantly, and your sister could tell. She desperately wanted to know what was happening to you, what had caused this, but she knew from the look on your face that you wouldn’t talk to her. 

And that hurt more than she wanted to admit. 

“I am going to go call Mami and tell her you are awake.” Alexia said, avoiding eye contact as she got up and left the room. You hadn’t realized Olga was standing against the wall until she moved, taking Alexia’s vacant seat. She gave you a soft smile. 

“Hi.” You whispered. 

“Hi.” She replied, taking your hand in hers. 

“Was it a panic attack?” 

“It was.” Olga nodded. “Has that happened before?” 

“Never that bad.” 

“You need to talk to someone. And it doesn’t have to be me or Ale, but something is going on. I don’t know what, but you need help.” 

“I’m fine, Olga.” You said, biting your lip and looking away from the brunette. She sat silently for a minute. 

“Alexia is not going to let this go. You know that. You terrified her today, and you know as well as I do that she would go to the ends of the earth to make sure you are okay. It doesn’t matter how much you pretend, nena. She sees right through you.” Olga said gently, falling quiet as your sister reentered the room.

You knew she was right. But like your sister, you were stubborn, too. And you wouldn’t make this easy. 

-------

Three days and two painful therapy sessions later, you were dragged into a meeting to discuss your wellbeing. Your favorite topic. 

The meeting really couldn’t have gone worse. The team psychologist, Ana, couldn’t say much because of confidentiality reasons, but she’d made it clear that if you kept going like this, panic attacks like you'd had the other day would keep happening. You were under a high amount of stress between school and football, and it was of her opinion that something needed to change. 

Ana suggested you be benched for a few weeks, while you figured things out. She told Jona, and Alexia and Irene who were sitting in the meeting, that she didn’t think you were being honest with her, and that if you were going to get better, you needed to be. 

You’d barely spoken during the meeting. Alexia did all the talking for you, and she managed to convince Ana not to bench you, not yet. You were given 2 weeks to get a better football-school balance, and to prove that you were mentally doing better. If your sister, Ana, and Jona felt that you weren’t improving after 2 weeks, you’d be benched.  

You knew Alexia was upset when she ignored you the rest of the day. The entire training session, the entire drive home. Olga looked confused at the icy tension between the two of you as Alexia stormed into the house, turning to face you with a frustrated look on her face. 

“Here is what we are going to do. I want you to drop a class, but you are not going to agree to that. So, you are going to put your computer in my room every night at 11pm. You will either finish your homework by then or it won’t get done. Either way, you will go to bed at 11. You will see the psychologist twice a week. You will come to me if you have any more panic attacks. We are fixing this before it goes any further, okay?”

She paused, raising her eyebrows at you. 

“Okay.” You agreed. There was no arguing with your sister, and you knew it. You’d have to break the rules, rather than try to change them. Alexia was instantly suspicious how easily you’d agreed to her request. 

“There is no option of you being benched, pequeña. Football comes first, before school, before everything. Do you understand?” 

“I understand.” 

“Good.” Alexia turned without another word, heading upstairs to take a shower. You avoided eye contact with Olga, as you slipped upstairs, too. You had a call to make.

-------

It was a bad idea. You knew it as soon as you bought the pills, but that didn’t stop you. 

It was just a few. Just to get you through this upcoming round of exams and through football. You had to wait for Alexia and Olga to both fall asleep to get your computer out of their room. Once you finished your homework, it was normally around 3 or 4 and you were exhausted. You had to put your computer back, and then you could go to sleep. It wasn’t a sustainable routine, but it was your only choice. And the only way you knew how to accomplish it was to take the adderall you’d bought from a boy at school. 

You couldn’t quit school. When football failed, or you quit, whichever came first, you needed to have a plan b. School was your plan b. 

And you weren’t sure you wanted to quit football. You hadn’t decided yet. It was suffocating, playing in Alexia’s shadow, and you just weren’t sure how much more you could take. Quitting, though. You weren’t quite there yet. 

You just had to keep going. Keep trying to balance both things, and not let anyone know how miserable you were. You didn’t really consider, very naively, that the pills would make everything worse. 

-------

You took one for the first time the next evening after training. 

The guilt that hit after you swallowed the pill was unbearable. You couldn't work, couldn’t get anything done. You curled up into a ball on your bed and let your thoughts run wild. All you could think was that you were risking everything; school, football, everything. 

It was school or it was football, but you couldn’t have both. You were pretty sure of that now. Something had to change. You had to get rid of the pills, and you had to make a decision. 

School or football. 

Disappointing your sister, or never living up to her expectations. 

And, ironically, the only person you could really turn to for help was Alexia 

You couldn’t keep everything a secret anymore. And even though you were terrified of being honest with her, you knew you had no other choice. 

-------

Alexia and Olga were lounging on the couch, Olga draped across your sister, when you walked in. Olga saw you first, sitting up slightly at the sight of the distressed look on your face. She nudged Alexia, who paused the TV and turned expectantly towards you, a frown tugging at her lips as she looked up at you. 

“Pequeña-?” Alexia cut herself off when you took the plastic bag out of your pocket, the little blue pills clearly visible inside. You dropped it onto the table in front of her. 

“I bought them from someone at school. It’s adderall. I didn’t take any. Get rid of them, please.” You said numbly, refusing to make eye contact with your sister, before turning and walking back out of the room. 

Alexia and Olga sat in stunned silence for a minute, before the blonde slowly reached for the bag, picking it up gingerly and looking at the pills. Her expression quickly grew angry, and she moved to stand up from the couch and follow you up the stairs. Olga grabbed her arm, though, pulling her back down onto the couch. 

“Ale, hold on.” 

“She bought drugs, Olga. This could have ruined her career, gotten her kicked out of school, gotten her arrested. You cannot tell me not to yell at her,” Alexia complained, though she turned to Olga with an expectant expression on her face. 

“She brought drugs, Alexia.” Olga repeated slowly. “Your perfect marks, perfect training schedule, perfectly behaved sister bought drugs to try to keep up with her school work. She is so stressed about getting everything done that she bought drugs. She didn’t take them, she gave them to you before she took them. This isn’t normal, Alexia, this is not a normal stress level for a 20 year old to have. Yelling at her is not going to make it better. Trust me, Ale, talk to her like she’s an adult.” 

Alexia considered that, for a minute. It was worth a shot, she supposed. And she could always start yelling if she needed to. 

-------

The softness of the knock on your door was almost unnerving. You’d expected Alexia to follow you up the stairs, shouting her head off. It had been a few minutes, though, and you’d only just heard her quiet footsteps coming up the stairs. 

“Come in,” you called shakily. 

Alexia walked in slowly, her every step measured. You could tell that she was trying to keep herself calm, which is more than you expected. More than you deserved. 

Your sister didn’t speak as she came in, didn’t seem to know what to say. She just slid onto the floor next to you, seemingly stunned into silence.  

“I fucked up.” You said after a minute. Out of the corner of your eye, you saw your sister nod slowly. 

Very suddenly, she put a hand on your shoulder, forcefully turning you in her direction. Her eyes looked severe when you looked up at her, and all you wanted to do was cry and beg for her to forgive you. 

“Hermanita. Did you take any of those pills?” Alexia asked, enunciating each word slowly. She was looking at you right in the eye, and you knew that if you lied, she’d be able to tell. You’d lied before, and you thought you’d be able to keep it going, but you couldn’t. All of a sudden, you felt like another lie might suffocate you. 

“One.” You whispered, shutting your eyes tightly. 

Alexia exhaled slowly. “When? Today?” 

“Sí.” You told her, voice dripping with shame. You couldn't look at her. If she’d been disappointed in you before, you were sure the look on her face now would be something you couldn’t tolerate. 

“You feel okay? No hives, no allergic reactions?” 

“No, I’m fine.” 

Alexia didn’t really feel like taking your word for it, evidently, and you felt her hand grip your chin and turn your face up towards her. She didn’t look as disappointed as you’d feared. She looked worried, and a bit lost as she inspected your face. 

“I don’t know what to say. I’m… I am upset with you. This is just so unlike you, nena, and I am really worried. I don’t know how to help you.”

“I’m never going to do it again, Ale, I gave you all the pills, I swear.” 

Alexia shook her head. “The pills are a problem, but something is going on with you to make you feel like you needed to do this, and I want to understand.” 

“Nothing. It’s nothing, I was just stressed, it was a mistake and I won’t make it again.” You dismissed. 

“It is not nothing!” Alexia shouted, seeing you wince and look away from her. She took a deep breath, reminding herself that yelling wasn’t the way to get you to talk to her. “It is not nothing. I am your sister, nena, you can tell me whatever is going on. I can help you. I can fix whatever isn’t okay, you just have to tell me.” 

“Alexia, there is nothing to fix. Now please, I gave you the pills and I know I fucked up. There isn’t anything to talk about, just leave it alone.” You hated how much she was pushing. You’d prefer if she would just yell. Yelling, you could take. But honesty? And what would come with it? There was no chance on earth that Alexia would understand. She was Alexia, and you were just you. Her younger sister, who would never live up to her legacy, no matter how hard you tried. 

“Leave it alone?!” Alexia yelled again, throwing her hands up in the air dramatically. She rose to her feet, beginning to pace, and you stood up too, crossing your arms defiantly across your chest. “You bought drugs at school, you took a pill that was not prescribed to you, you have been going crazy with anxiety, and I want to know why!” 

“I told you, I was just stressed.” You said through clenched teeth, willing yourself not to rise to her level of anger, even though you wanted to. Why was she pushing so hard? Why did she care so much?

“This has to be more than just stress, pequeña! Doing things like this is not okay, you are not okay.” 

“I’m fine.” You insisted. 

“Stop lying to me!” Alexia yelled, ignoring the appearance of Olga in your doorway, even as she felt her girlfriend giving her a look that told her to calm down. 

“Ale-” Olga began, but you cut her off. 

“ I am doing the best that I can, I am doing everything I can to be good enough for you and for the team and for everyone, but none of it is ever enough!” You shouted, slamming your mouths shut when you felt like you’d said too much. 

“This is about school, not football. No one is making you do school! This stress is your own doing, this pressure is coming from you, not anyone else. Drop a class, drop out for all I care. What you are doing to yourself is completely unnecessary.” Alexia said, completely and entirely confused as to just why school was so important to you. Important enough to risk everything.

“It is not unnecessary, Alexia. I need a backup plan, and school is my backup plan.” 

“You have football, why do you need a backup plan?” Alexia scoffed, rolling her eyes at you in a way that made your body flame with rage. 

“Maybe I don’t want football, Alexia. Maybe that’s not what I want anymore.” 

Alexia stared at you, jaw dropped in shock. “What?” She whispered.

Out of the corner of your eye, you saw Olga step closer, but you willed yourself not to look at her. Olga was always more sympathetic than Ale, and you were pretty sure the look on her face would break you right now.

“I can’t do it anymore, Ale, I can’t,” 

“You are 20! You are a baby! How could you want to quit, you have barely even gotten started!” 

“You don’t understand what it’s like for me, Alexia.” 

The blonde rolled her eyes. How could you say that? Of course she understood. “I do, nena, I understand better than anyone, but you cannot just give up because things are more difficult than you anticipated.”

“No. You don’t understand. Things aren’t more difficult than I anticipated, they are impossible. I am losing my mind, Ale, I can’t take it anymore. I can’t.” 

“So you want to quit? All of it, everything you’ve worked for. Throw away everything I’ve done for you?”

“I don’t know, Ale. I just can’t do it like this anymore.” 

Your sister didn’t understand. The anger on her face told you that, and you knew when she opened her mouth next, her words would hurt more than you thought possible. 

“If you are quitting because it is hard, you are not the person I thought you were. Putellas’ don’t quit. I expected so much more from you.” 

And even though you’d anticipated it, the words Alexia spit at you still felt like a bullet through the heart. Mostly because you were pretty sure she was right. You were a failure and a disappointment beyond comparison. 

Your sister took a step back, and though her face remained hard, she was horrified at herself. 

“Alexia, that is enough,” Olga snapped, walking to stand in between the two of you. She knew she’d stepped in too late but the roles of Alexia’s girlfriend and of someone who cared about you were difficult to balance. 

“I’m going to Alba’s. I can’t be here right now. I’m sorry Alexia.” You rushed out of the room, leaving your sister frozen, in horror at her own words, behind you. 

-------

When Alexia got to Alba’s,  she could hear you from the hall. Your sister paused for a minute. She’d expected you to be angry, expected you to be telling Alba exactly what she’d said. She’d expected anger, and that wasn’t what she found. 

Instead, she opened the door to Alba’s apartment quietly and stepped inside. You were curled up on the couch, your head in Alba’s lap as she soothingly ran her fingers through your hair. 

“I-I’ve ruined everything,” you sobbed. 

“No, hermanita.You made a mistake. Nothing is ruined.” 

“She hates me now,” you continued, as if you hadn’t heard Alba speak at all. 

“You need to breathe, cariño, you need to calm down.” 

“I can’t, I can’t, I can’t,” you cried, before words became impossible and all you could do was cry. 

Alba looked up, then, her face thunderous as she caught sight of her older sister. She shook her head, but Alexia’s eyes were only on you. 

“Hermanita,” she whispered, cautiously walking closer to the sofa. You sat upright at the sound of your oldest sister’s voice, a downright terrified expression on your face. “I don’t hate you, nena. I could never hate you.” 

Your face crumpled at her words, the last stable part of you collapsing.“I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. I can’t do this anymore, Ale, I can’t,” 

“Alright, alright.” Alexia soothed, sitting down on the couch next to you. 

“We’re gonna fix it, hermanita. Whatever is wrong, whatever you are struggling with, we are going to fix it.” Alba promised you, exchanging a look with her older sister. Alba was pretty furious with Alexia at the moment, but they knew they’d need each other to get you through this.The destroyed state you were in now, the things you’d been doing were all signs that you weren’t okay, and that you needed their help. They were determined to help you.   

You sat in between your sisters, crying harder than you ever had before. You weren’t sure how everything had gotten so messed up. And you weren’t sure you knew how it could be fixed. 

-------

Alexia and Alba had both decided that you should go back home, and get some rest. 

Olga had been anxiously waiting for you both to return, having sent your sister after you almost as soon as you’d left the house. Neither you or Alexia had said much upon arriving back home. You’d been practically catatonic when you’d walked through the front door; cheeks tearstained, body slumped against your sister’s as she helped you into the house. You’d gone right up to bed, and Alexia had simply pulled Olga into a hug. All Ale had told her girlfriend was that she was going to sit you down tomorrow and get you to talk. She was going to figure out what was wrong. What had brought you to this point, why you’d been hiding things from her. She was going to get you to talk if she had to get down on her knees and beg. 

Alexia had already texted Jona and told him neither of you would be in tomorrow, aside from a meeting with Ana that your sister had scheduled for the afternoon. If Alexia couldn’t get you talking, she hoped the therapist would. If that didn’t work, she’d call Eli. The only reason she hadn’t called her mami yet was because she knew how hard Eli would come down on you for the drugs, and on Alexia for not taking better care of you. And Alexia knew that each of you respectively carried enough shame for both of those things. 

 Your sister lay awake in her bed that night, trying to piece together what exactly was happening with you. It was like there was a big piece missing, and she couldn’t think her way through the problem no matter how hard she tried. She tossed and turned in her bed for at least an hour, fighting the urge to go check on you. 

“Ale.” Olga whispered, having been woken up by her girlfriend's restlessness. She rolled onto her side and wrapped her arm around her girlfriend’s body. 

Alexia sniffled. “Did I wake you?” 

“No. I was thirsty.” Olga lied, sitting up to grab her water off her nightstand. “Worrying all night is not going to help your sister, baby.”

“Well, I can try.” Alexia said back, turning on her side to bury her face in Olga’s shirt. “I messed up. So badly. She wants to quit football, she brought drugs at school. She’s been miserable for so long and I didn’t know. I didn’t do anything about it.” 

Olga ran her fingers through her girlfriend’s hair, thinking hard about what to say. “Amor, you can’t go back and change things. You can just try to be better for her.” 

“What if I can’t be better? What if I’m just a bad sister? A bad person?” 

“You aren’t either of those things, mi amor. A mistake doesn’t make you bad.”

“This is more than just one mistake. This is months of mistakes.” 

Olga shook her head. “It doesn’t matter. She is your sister, and she adores you. Both of you will get past this. You love each other too much not to.” 

Alexia sat with that for a moment. It was true. Even if she didn’t always act like it, even if she wasn’t the best at showing it. She loved you and Alba more than anything on earth. And she decided, then and there, that she wouldn’t ever stop trying to prove that to you. 

------

Crying must have tired you out, because when you woke the next day, before even opening your eyes, you could tell it was late. Well past when Alexia would normally wake you up for training. Momentarily, you wondered if she’d gone without you. If she was upset. But then you recognized the soft touch of Alexia’s hand on your back, gently moving back and forth; her preferred way of waking you up. Alexia cherished her sleep, and because she assumed everyone else did too, she was careful to wake you up in the least jarring way possible. 

You rolled over, clonking your head into her knee. Grumpily, you opened your eyes. Alexia was not in her training clothes. She was still in her pajamas, in fact, looking down at you nervously. You weren’t used to her being nervous to talk to you. 

“Hola.” She greeted. “I woke you up because you never sleep this late, but if you are still tired, you can go back to sleep. We have an appointment with Ana at 2, and I was hoping we could talk before that, but we don’t have to. We can just-”

You cut off her rambling with a shake of your head, dragging your body into a sitting position. Your head was pounding, probably a combination of all the cry and dehydration. 

“No, I’m okay. I’m up. We can talk. I’ll be down in a few minutes.” 

“Okay!” Alexia said much too quickly. She ruffled your hair awkwardly before turning and heading downstairs, looking back at you slumped in your bed at least 3 times. 

When you appeared downstairs 5 minutes later, having made yourself look somewhat presentable, Alexia was sitting on the couch, anxiously bouncing her knee as she waited for you. She had her phone in her hand, and she was rapidly texting someone. Alba or Olga, you guessed. You carefully sat down on the couch a safe distance away from her, now feeling a bit nervous yourself. 

You didn’t know what you were supposed to say. If being honest would make things better or worse. If things could really even get any worse. 

“You wanted to talk.” You said after a minute, finally venturing a quick glance at your sister, who was looking expectantly at you. 

“I want you to talk. And I want to listen.” Alexia said gently. 

You thought for a moment, before shrugging. “What do you want me to talk about?”

The blonde took a deep breath. “Do you want to quit football?” She asked quietly, unable to hide the disappointment in her voice, no matter how hard she tried. She loved playing with you. It was her favorite thing. 

You read her disappointment wrong, though, thinking she was disappointed in you, and you became slightly defensive, and slightly more tense. “Sometimes.” 

Alexia fought the urge to respond to your hostility with her own. Instead, she kept her face soft and open. “Why do you want to quit? And why do you not want to quit?” 

You shifted uncomfortably, fiddling with your fingers in your lap. Avoiding Ale’s gaze, you replied as honestly as you could. “I think I still love it, deep down. It just feels like it’s suffocating me right now. Draining all of my energy and all of my happiness. It’s really hard, Ale. I don’t know how to fix that.” 

Nodding slowly, the blonde tried not to react to your words outwardly. “Can you tell me what is so hard? I have played for many years, nena, and I do not think I have ever struggled as much as you are struggling now. I don’t understand, but I want to.” 

She was being sincere, you could tell. She genuinely did not understand what the issue was. It had never felt this difficult for her, not in this all consuming way. You wanted your sister to understand, but you didn’t want to hurt her. Explaining ran the risk of upsetting her, yet you knew you had no choice. 

“You have played for many years, yes. But you have never played as Alexia Putellas’ younger sister. You have never played in the shadow of the greatest in the world, of your sister.”

Alexia inhaled sharply. “I make it hard? Being my sister makes it hard?” She asked, voice almost a whisper as she tried to fight back tears. This was her fault. 

You nodded miserably. “I can’t go a day without being compared to you. Your talent, your leadership skills, everything. I feel like nothing I do is ever good enough… for you or for anyone else. No matter what I do, no matter how hard I try, I will never be you, Ale. And that is what everyone wants me to be.” 

Your sister shook her head frantically, scooching closer. “That’s not what I want, nena. You are one of my favorite people in the world. I don’t want you to be me, I want you to be you.” 

“But I’m not good enough, Ale. Not for anyone. Being me isn’t good enough.” You cried, pulling your hand away from Alexia’s. You couldn’t even begin to consider that she was telling the truth. 

“Yes it is, nena, and I am so sorry if I have made you feel like-” 

“If? Alexia you have spent the past 2 years of my life pressuring me to be better, telling me to try harder and to push more. And so has everyone else.” 

Your sister shook her head again, wrapping an arm around your shoulders and pulling you into her, even as you tried to pull away. “I am so sorry, nena. So sorry. I thought you wanted it, as much as I wanted it for you.” 

“I did want it.” You mumbled. “But I wanted you to just be my sister more.” 

Alexia felt her heart shatter, but she fought against the tears welling in her eyes. “I am so sorry.” She repeated, shutting her eyes tightly as she rubbed your back. “ I… If you want to quit, I will support you. I won’t be disappointed in you, I will always support you. No matter what you do or don’t do, I will always be your sister. And you will always have me.” 

“No, Ale, I don’t know that I want to quit, I just… I can’t do it anymore. Not like this. It’s too hard.” You sobbed, hiding your face in your sister’s shirt. 

“Okay. Okay, cariño. We’ll figure it out, alright? We’ll figure it all out.” Alexia promised. 

You hoped she was right. 

--------

Therapy later that day was… alright. You broke down again, detailing your near constant anxiety and stress, and admitting to Ana that you’d bought adderall. You don’t quite remember what you said, honestly. It was a blur. You remembered crying, remembered holding Alexia’s hand. Explaining to her that you were so obsessed with school because you wanted to have something if football didn’t work. You never wanted to disappoint your family, Alexia most of all. Alexia had cried too. You remembered what she said clearly, and even now, three weeks later, you thought of her words.  

“Hermanita, I don’t care if you are a footballer. I don’t care if you get a degree or get an impressive job. I don’t care what you do, as long as you are happy and healthy and okay. That is all that matters to me. And that is all that matters to Mami and Alba, too. I love you, nena. That is not conditional or dependent on anything.” 

And she had proven that. She had been patient, kind, and thoughtful. Supportive. Even when you took three weeks off of football and school to get your anxiety under control. She was there through every sleepless night and every tear. Alexia was the reason you got through it, and she was the reason you made the decision you did. 

-------

You’d waited a bit to tell her. You were always going to finish the season out with Barça, but it remained to be seen whether or not you’d continue after the season ended. Alexia had prepared herself for you not to continue. For you to tell her that this was it. She’d made her peace with that. She was wholly surprised, then, when you sat her down two nights before you were set to go back to training and told her your plans. 

“I’m dropping out of school.” You said carefully, watching her reaction. She looked stunned. 

“But I thought… you don’t have to do that for me, nena. I just want you to be happy.” 

The thing was, you believed her. And that was why you wanted to play again. 

“I know you do, Ale. I’m doing this for me. I love football. I’ve missed it these past few weeks, much more than I missed school. I didn’t really care about school, I just wanted to have something. If I couldn’t make you proud of me with football, I thought I could do it through school.” 

“I am proud of you. So proud of you, because of football and completely separate from it.” Alexia insisted. 

You nodded. “I know you are, and that’s why I want to play again. It doesn’t feel the same as before, like your love for me is riding on how well I perform. That wasn’t ever the case, and I know that now. You’ve made it really clear, Ale.” 

“But your anxiety,”

“I was having a hard time because I was trying to do school full time and football. I’m already so much less stressed. The pressure feels less intense. It feels like football can be fun again.”

“You are sure about this?” Alexia asked, gripping tightly onto your hand. She didn't want a repeat of three weeks ago. And she didn’t want you to be unhappy. 

“I promise, I’m sure. I want to play. And if that changes… I’ll tell you. I know I can trust you. I should have known that all along, and I didn’t, but I do now.” 

“You can always trust me.” Alexia affirmed. “You are sure? You want to play?” She checked again, looking intently at your face, trying to tell if you were lying to make her happy. 

“I want to play.” You promised. 

Her neutral face transformed into a huge grin and she all but suffocated you in a bear hug. 

“I love you so much, hermanita. And I would have understood if you wanted to quit, but I love playing with you and I am so, so happy.” She told you, rather vulnerably. “I’m going to be better. I am going to make sure no one puts too much pressure on you, especially me. I won’t mess up again, nena, I promise. I won’t ever let you think that I care more about football than about you.” 

You buried your face in her shoulder, sniffling slightly. “I love you too.” 

It wasn’t just about missing football. It was about knowing, really really knowing, that your performance wouldn’t change how your sister looked at you, or how your teammates looked at you. You’d spent the last three weeks learning from Ana to see yourself as a person separate from your abilities on the pitch. You were good and worthy of love no matter how you played. And with that weight off your shoulders, you knew you wouldn’t care as much about being in Alexia’s shadow. You could just be proud of her. And be proud of yourself. You hadn’t needed school the way you thought you did, and you hadn’t needed to quit football. You had just needed to be honest with your sister, and be a bit kinder to yourself. 

The following season, you would play better than you ever had. You found your place on the pitch and within the team, and you set yourself aside as your own person. Even if you were known as a great footballer, you would still always be known as Alexia’s sister. And you didn’t want to change that, because it was your favorite thing to be. 

--------

hope you enjoyed! ❤️ leave a comment if you want, they make me v happy! :)

[fuxuannie]

Wanted to request maybe hsr men with a partner that's their exact opposite?

* pairing(s) : various hsr men (i actually do all of them i promise) x reader

* prompt : opposites attract, amiright?

* authors note : so you may have noticed a bit of a.. redesign.. in my layout 🙏 but hi requester!! here u gooo ♡ cleaning up my requests sweep sweep. also thank you for 200 u guys r crazy omg.

* brief warning : blade is blade, sssadism if u SQUINT RLLY HARD.

(my love for gepard rlly shows in this im sorry. HABSGJABA 😭😭!!! some r rlly long.. ooc.. or short.. sbsndhsks HANDGSHWS i love gepard IM SORRY HES PRETTY BOY)

DAN HENG appreciated his silence and alone time, you however, could not go 5 minutes without his supervision.

While he liked to plan and execute said plan perfectly, you were reckless and went into anything head-first with worrying about the possible failures later.

And because of this, Dan Heng was protective over you. He was a gentleman after all, and he would do the same for March 7th back then, so it's no surprise he'd do it for you now. Especially with your tendencies to get yourself into unnecessary fights.

It aches his heart, you know? Having to see your wounds and bruises as he patches you up. But you've made a compromise to give him the equivelant amount of kisses equal to the bandages he put all over you. (and there were A LOT)

Even if you make him worry 24/7, he'll still love you. It's not bad to have a chance of pace after all.

JING YUAN is a man with many routines, calm and collected, with many worries on his shoulder.

You were more outgoing, a trailblazer who rode the express and were the one helping people with their worries.

He was always surprised with how helpful you really were in your first meetings, not that he doubted your abilities, but didn't expect someone to be able to do his asks as well as you did.

What didn't surprise him was how he fell for you, the way your heart was always pure and gold, and you lived a life to protect and help others.. he admired you. You were his inspiration, his muse, to be a General with that kind of care for his people.

When you two decided to date, Jing Yuan had to get used to your impulsive actions. He was always used to doing the same thing everyday, but with you? He found himself doing 50 other things before the next part of his schedule.

Not that he minded, he likes the excitement, and he really really likes you.

GEPARD, the Silvermane guards leader, falling for his sisters co-performer.

He LOVED to watch you perform or practice, Serval always saw him with such a love-struck smile, head resting on his hand as he sat and watched his sisters and you practice. She'd tease him about it afterwards, calling him loverboy and such, but he never confirmed nor denied her teasing about him liking you.

Sometimes the guards would hear him humming your part of a song or the general tune of a melody you play, considering how much he watched you, it was no surprise that you were stuck in his head like a popular song.

He quite literally, loved you like a love song, because it's ALL he ever listened to. He'd be in bed, white shirts and shorts, his arm covering his eyes as he listens to the CORNIEST love song and smiles while doing so because he thinks of you.

When you two started dating, he was quick to realize your differences. He was a leader, an intimidating figure, and had goals and missions he swore on his life to constantly follow and pursue even outside of work hours.

You on the other hand, unless you're onstage, you're pretty shy. Not really standing out in a crowd when you're in your civilian clothing, and you liked it that way. Almost like you lived a different life from your almost idol-like persona.

Gepard did find it incredibly cute though, how you'd have an explosive personality infront of a crowd. But with him? You were at the mercy of his soft kisses and his chuckles as your face turns warm from fluster.

SAMPO was the COMMON ENEMY between the Overworld and Underworld.

Okay, maybe a bit of an exaggeration. But YOU?? Natasha's sweetest nurse and sibling?? with the likes of HIM??

He was a liar, seemingly the type to decieve people who put their trust in him, only to repay them randomly out of nowhere with random treasure maps or save them from tight situations. It seemed like any suspicious activity was ALWAYS tied to him.

You, on the other hand, worked with your sister in her clinic. Often times praised for your kindness and patience, how amazing you were with children and people in general. Nobody would've expected that you fell for him, hell, he didn't expect it either.

But you saw that somewhere, in that heart of his, he truly did care about his friends and loved ones. Somewhere buried in his rather annoying antics, were the intentions of someone who was just worried for the others well-being. He proved it to you when he caught you crying in a dark alley, wiping your tears as you were so tired and overworked. He listened to you for hours on end, and he got to see a side of you that you didn't show to people, and vice versa. You saw the side of him people thought they'd die to see exist.

WELT YANG was always rather serious at times, with his status and achievements, people expected it of him.

You were his closest companion, one of the few he had left from his journey, but you were also his partner. Despite being just about his age, you were so calm, so gentle. Compared to his seemingly stern nature.

You loved plants and flowers of the such, always telling Welt about the newest one you learnt from a new planet on each expedition through the galaxy. You warmed his heart with how you spoke, explaining each and every plant with such detail. He loved it whenever you spoke, 'music to his ears', he'd tell people. Anyone would be enamoured with your voice and way of speaking, he admired your intelligence, but more importantly, he admired you.

BLADE.. with Kafka's partner in crime?

Kafka can't say she's surprised, hell, she'd love you too. But the pairing was rather odd.

Blade was monotone, cold. His stare as sharp as daggers, and could care less about those he hurt.

You, on the other hand, found immense joy in hurting others. A wicked smile on your face whenever you're permitted to do so towards anyone who dare stand in their way.

Whenever you two would kiss, the difference once again shows. You're clearly enjoying it, but Blade's expression is blank. But I guess don't judge a book by its cover? As the kiss he initiated is passionate and intimate, he's enjoying it I promise, he just doesn't show it.

Either way, you're both stuck babysitting Silverwolf most of the time. Oh well, more time with him.

[woso-dreamzzz]

Play, Sleep, Repeat

Arsenal Women x Teen!Reader

Summary: You're Katie's cousin

Katie has never quite understood you.

You'd always been on the fringes of her awareness.

She has all her siblings. Her close family is big. Her extended family is even bigger.

You're her cousin, on her mother's side.

She'd never really kept up with your life. She'd see you at family reunions maybe once, twice a year and it would all be a quick conversation before she moved on.

She'd never been close enough to her uncle, your dad, to really know what was going on the two of your lives. All she really remembers was that his wife (your mother) had left him and he was a single dad.

It was surprising to see the Arsenal announcement photo with you smiling at the camera, a big Ireland flag draped over your shoulders.

It should have made her feel bad that you didn't drop a text to say you were signing but Katie didn't even know you played football until the announcement so she decided that she didn't really have room to have her feelings hurt over it.

She had hoped this would be the opportunity for you both to grow closer but, as she looks at you now, horsing down your lunch, she kind of thought that was a pipe dream.

You get up immediately after finishing, avoiding the table with the other younger players and heading back out onto the pitch.

It was like clockwork with you. You were either crashed out asleep in the break room, eating like you'd been starved or practicing for hours before or after training.

"What's up with your cousin, McCabe?" Leah asks, watching you leave as well," She never hangs around."

Katie shrugs. "I dunno. She's always been like that, I think."

"You think?"

"She's being raised by her Da. I guess she's never been around this many girls in her life."

"Surely she played on a girl's team before coming here."

Katie shrugs again.

"You don't know?"

"I've got a big family, Williamson. I hardly see her back home. Sue me for not stalking her every move."

Kim slides into the seat next to her. "I'm worried about her," She says," She's always here early and she stays late too. I've never seen her Dad pick her up."

"So what? She's a big girl."

Kim raises a brow. "I wasn't worried because she promised me that you've been dropping her off."

"What? She told me Kyra was doing that."

Kim sighs. "I got her address off Jonas. Do you and Caitlin mind popping by tonight? I'd do it myself but she might respond better to you."

Katie stands at your door a few hours after training has finished. She'd been waiting in her car for a while now, unable to believe her eyes when you'd stepped off the bus barely ten minutes ago still in your training kit.

Her hand hovers over the door, unmoving.

Caitlin nudges her to the side, pressing the doorbell.

"Hey," She says when you open it," Can we come in?"

Your eyes dart to the side. "Er..."

"Is your Da in? I need to talk to him."

"Da's busy," You say.

"That's okay. We can wait." Katie barges in and Caitlin follows her before you can stop them.

"How long will he be?" Caitlin asks and your eyes dart to the door.

"Well..."

"Have you had dinner yet?" Katie asks," 'Cause your fridge is bare."

"Stop it!" You say, pushing her out of your kitchen," Stop snooping!"

"Are these takeout boxes?"

"Katie, I mean it! Out!"

"Nah, where's your Da? Surely, he can't be letting you eat all this crap."

You mumble a response that Katie forces you to repeat. A response that gets regurgitated to every responsible adult on the team.

Your Da didn't come with you to England. In fact, your Da hadn't even be to one of your Arsenal matches.

"He'll come when I make it into the Ireland squad," You'd told Katie and Caitlin," He promised."

The team keeps a close eye on you. Your back prickles with awareness and every time you look behind you, someone is watching.

Things change as well, slowly but surely. It's enough to put you on edge.

It starts with Caitlin and Katie driving you to practice. You usually leave hours ahead of when training starts so you can get the bus and still have time to practice before it begins.

(Maybe if you have a bit extra training then Gleeson will have no choice but to call you up for the next international break).

You have no idea how long they've been camping in their car because you get up stupidly early.

They bundle you in with them. They grab breakfast at a quaint place in town before getting you to training on time.

Next comes Kim. She sits with you at lunch and talks to you enough that you finish the same time as everyone else.

Leah helps you with your kit.

Lia sits with you on the bus.

Lessi, Vic and Kyra splash you with water during the changeover at training.

Beth lets you nap against her and Viv makes sure you have a protein shake ready for you when you wake up.

Slowly but surely, you're folded into the team that is Arsenal. You existed on the fringes of life in London, focused on nothing but finally having your father support you in football.

Now though, you have the team to celebrate your goals with. You have Katie shaking you with joy when you score the last minute winner against Everton.

You also have the text from your Da nitpicking your every move in the match.

You feel lucky that he even kept the match on with how shit you were apparently making. A few months ago, you would have gone back to your own habits. A few months ago, you would have ran until your legs gave out.

But it's no longer a few months ago.

So, you just put your phone away and let Steph ruffle your hair on the way back to her seat.

You're actually part of the team now. A key part of the team if you go off how many times you've started a match.

A key part of the time if you go by how you seamlessly tackle Cuthbert and send the ball rolling straight to Caitlin to collect. You're about to stand up but Cuthbert can't stay on her feet and she stumbles, falling with a sickening crunch onto your ankle.

The scream you let out is guttural and you push her off you to grab at your ankle, as if touching it would suddenly make it feel better.

You slap the ground with your fist and scream again. Leah comes sliding in next to you, pinning your ankle to the ground with a firm hand.

"I know," She says," I know but we need to keep it still. Just stay still."

"Leah," You sob," It hurts!"

"I know," She repeats," The physios are coming straight on. Just keep it still."

Katie comes running to you next, tucking your face into her chest as you sob, shielding you from the fans.

Caitlin has taken her job at yelling at the ref, desperate to get some kind of compensation even if it was all a complete reaction.

"I...I..." You manage to get out through your tears," I don't think Gleeson's going to call me up for the break."

Lia, who had gently removed your cleat, laughs. "You don't need to focus on that right now." She peals your sock down. "But it's nice that you've still got your sense of humour."

You hiss as someone else touches your ankle.

"Hey!" Katie snaps," Careful with her!" She turns back to you. "Can you walk?"

"I don't even think I can stand up."

"You're going to be okay," She says as the stretcher is brought on," They'll fit you with a boot and you'll come back to mine."

You groan. "God, not your place."

"What's wrong with my mine?!"

"You can't cook! Can I go to Kim's instead?"

"I think I preferred it when we didn't talk."

You grin. "Didn't your Ma ever tell you lying's bad?"

[brodieland]

.˚ 𓈒 ࣪.𝝑𝝔 always matching, now the matched ´ˎ˗

Percy Jackson x Fem!Eros!Reader Synopsis: She's cupid, but doesn't believe in love. Yet here comes Percy Jackson, believing other wise Warning(s): potty words, LOL! Word Count: 4420 PART 2

Y/N Y/L/N, daughter of Eros, also known more famously among mortals as Cupid.

When Y/N first arrived at camp, she wasn't claimed yet. While stuck in the Hermes cabin, she would listen into a lot of gossip (Hermes kids loved to gossip!!). When she had heard about her new friend Silena Beauregard and her ongoing crush on the Hephaestus boy, Charles Beckendorf, Y/N decided to step in. She would be on both ends giving each other advice on one another. Eventually she finally got Bechendorf to ask the amazing Silena out on a date, a real date and not the friendly hanging out they did before that.

The next day when they finally announced to their friends that they were in a relationship, above you appeared a bow and arrow surrounded by hearts. At first they were confused until Chrion announced Y/N was being claimed by the god Eros. The god of desire, erotic love, attraction and affection. Ever since then, she lived up to her legacy at camp, and always had people asking her for advice on love.

Love.

Despite being camp Half-Blood's new found resident cupid, Y/N herself had never been in love. She found love a beautiful, yet terrifying experience. Love is showing someone your most vulnerable side for an experience of comfort, an experience that isn't guaranteed to last. It's not like Eros stuck around with your mom. Others craved it, and Y/N serviced it, and she was fine with staying behind.

Before coming to camp when you were 15, you watched your mom never manage to move on. She had fallen in love, and she had fallen hard. Hard enough to have a baby with a man she'd known for such a short amount of time. He'd left and for years your mother was heartbroken. You had step-father after step-father, though they never lasted, they were just to fill the void. You grew up never understanding why people ever bothered with something that wouldn't last, but it never stopped them. You always thought if you couldn't help your mom, you could help others.

As Y/N strolled along the green of camp, she watched all the newer found couples be all lovey dovey with one another. 'You did this, and one day they'll get hurt.' She ignored her running mind and continued on with her day.

You walked down the beach in some denim shorts and a white bikini with mini pink hearts all over it, basking in the sunlight as it tanned your skin. The ocean looked beautiful as you watched Piper and Percy surf the large waves, though you thought Percy had something to do with the size of the waves.

"Hey guys," you waved to your friends as they walked out the ocean.

"You here to enjoy the waves, too," Percy asked.

"The ones you're probably creating," you crossed your arms and the two just chuckled. You were correct though, when Percy stepped out the waves calmed down.

"Hey, could this be the day you finally let me teach you how to surf," Piper wiggled her eyebrows at you, causing you to smile.

"You know what, fine. Sure it is," you said. Piper started cheering as she made Percy go find a board for you to use.

"So, any new matches today, Cupid," Piper asked as she used the nickname that's become quite popular around camp. It was all anyone called you.

"Nope, not today. Everyones happy as they are. For now at least."

"For now?"

"Yeah, you know how I think about it."

"When will you learn that love can last? You don't have to be so gloomy about it you know."

"Spoken like a true Aphrodite kid," Piper just rolled her eyes. "I'm not judging anyone, its just not for me."

"One day it will be, and I'll be here to laugh in your face," Piper declared. You just rolled your eyes as Percy made his way back with the boards in hand.

"I got you a pink one, matches the hearts," Percy said as he handed you the board and gestured to your bathing suit. "Let's go!"

You were not a surfer to say the least, but you held your own. It was probably because Percy made the waves nice and small for you. You told him he didn't have to 'dumb down' the ocean for you, big mistake. You were knocked off your board and washed up ashore looking like the seaweed that washed up next to you.

"I don't think I'm a surfer guys," you said to your friends as they laughed at your current state. With your hair a mess and sand all over you, you looked like you ran through a hurricane.

"Maybe not," Piper couldn't stop laughing. Percy helped you up as were spitting sand out your mouth.

"Hey man, couldn't you help me out? I thought we were gang," You asked, gods you loved talking like a little frat boy.

"I'm the one who washed you up and didn't let the waves drown you???"

"Do I look like I wasn't just drowning," you gestured to yourself from head to toe, causing the two to just laugh.

"You look amazing," Percy said. "Like a 5 year olds shitty sand castle."

"After it's been stomped on of course," Piper added. You shook her hair back into place, sorta, and jumped back into the ocean to wash off the excessive sand.

"Yo Y/N," Percy yelled.

"Yeah," you turned toward Percy, and before you realized it, a wave smacked you from the side and knocked you back into the ocean. The pair on the shore were now doubling over, holding their guts in laughter. When you stood back up you gasped, inhaling oxygen like you've never before. "YOU'RE NOT FUNNY."

"We're laughing," Percy shouted back. You ran back out the ocean before Percy could send another wave your way.

"I need a shower, there's sand in places sand should not be," you announced as you walked off, waving your friends off. Eros doesn't have any other kids, so there hasn't been a cabin built yet. You walked in the Aphrodite cabin and waved at some of the campers as you walked straight toward the bathroom. When you were washing the sand out, you could hear some of the girls gossiping outside. Gods, you always wondered which between the Hermes or Aphrodite kids were the bigger gossips.

"I don't get her at all," one girl said.

"Yeah, how can she be like, so good with everyone else, but hate the thought of one for herself," a second girl said. Then the door opened.

"Hey, whatcha guys talkings talking about," a boy said.

"Cupid and how she refuses to get in a relationship," the first girl said.

"Gods, she soo hot, what'd I do for a night with her," the guy groaned. You just rolled your eyes as he further proved your point on why you'd rather not get into a relationship.

"Yeah she doesn't even like, just have fun with guys. She's like totally closed off," like, like, like. You turned off the water and started to dry yourself off.

"Literally, like it's the 21st century," you were tired of listening to the three go on and on about you like they didn't just watch you go inside the bathroom. You wrapped your towel around yourself, as tight as possible, and opened the door.

"Hey guys, whats up," you smiled as you walked toward your bed and going through your chest of clothes. Watching them go silent may have made your day. You walked back to the bathroom door to change. Before you shut the door, you turned back and said "I heard everything, and I don't need to be in a relationship to be happy."

You sighed as you put your clothes back on and walked back out the cabin, ignoring the silenced trio inside. You saw Percy walking back from the beach. He looked tanner.

"Hey Percy," you waved.

"Hey Y/N, you washed the seaweed out your hair I see," he smiled.

"You mean after you tried drowning me? Yeah I did wash it out thank you."

"I thought it was a nice little accessory no?"

"No," you deadpanned. "Anyways guess what, while I was showering I got stuck listening to people gossip on me, can you believe?"

"What could they possibly be talking about?"

"How I choose to stay single, like gods forbid. One of the was all like," you used air quotes and pitched up your voice, "like its the 21st century, blah blah."

Percy chuckled at your interpretation, "Wow, you should be an actor."

"Thank you thank you," you bowed.

"But really, Y/N, you're always helping everyone else get into relationships. How come your so against it?" You felt like a weight was dropped on your shoulders, like a shadow fell over your face.

"Nothing, dinners starting we should probably head over," you started walking, a neutral expression painted your face. You saw Piper and sat next to her, not before putting on a smile.

"Hello my queen," you beamed as you leaned your head on her shoulder.

"Hey babe," she kissed the top of your head as you leaned back up. You guys always joked like this. You got your food and started eating. You never burned your offerings, who would you pray to? Your dad? Eros? You never liked him after how he left your mother, and you decided to never pray to him. He didn't deserve the offerings. Your cabin mates came back and you all finished your dinner, now heading back to your cabin. You staggered behind slightly as Percy started to catch up.

"Hey Y/N," he sounded a little out of breath as he was walking next to you. "Look, I'm sorry if I said something earlier. I didn't mean to like offend you or something."

"Look its fine, I think I was just hungry or something," you said, kind of hoping he'd drop it.

"If you say so, just wanted to make sure we're good," it was quiet for a second. "We're good right?"

You chuckled, "yes Percy, we're good."

"Okay good," Percy breathed out as you slightly smiled. You both reached the doors of the Aphrodite cabin. "well, goodnight then."

"Good night," You walked into your cabin and headed over to your bunk above Piper. Lots of the other campers were up talking to one another from their bunks, but the second your head hit the pillow, you were out. And just as quickly as you fell asleep, you were pulled into a dream.

'You were standing in your old bedroom with your stuffed bear in your hands. You'd just woken up and were now staring out the window watching the clouds pass.'

You remember this, you were just about 4 years old.

'As you were cloud gazing, you heard your stomach rumble and made your way down into the kitchen. It was nearing 10AM so you knew mom was up. Normally you'd smell the breakfast from your room, but not today. When you walked down you didn't smell any bacon or hear any sizzling of the stove. All you heard was crying.

"I.. I can't do this anymore..." You knew that voice, you knew it better than any other voice, it was your mothers. "I miss him so much, and what do I do with her? I can't.. I can't tell her."

Up until now, you'd never heard your mother cry, but here she was pouring her eyes out. Who did she miss so bad? And why was she so sad they weren't here?

"Mommy?"

Your mom jumped as she wiped her face and turned around, clearly not expecting you. "Hey there sweetie, how's it going?"

"Why are you so sad," you walked up to her and hugged her leg. She smiled half-heartedly as she picked you up. "Why are you crying mommy?"

"Oh nothing, I'm sorry you had to see that," you may have been 4, but you can tell she was pretty upset. And you asked the worst question ever.

"Mommy?"

"Yes sweetie?"

"How come.. all the others kids have dads but I don't," you asked as softly as you could. You saw the slight switch in your moms face, before she quickly smiled again.

"Your dad was special, more than you know. He was amazing, I hope one day when you get to meet him, you'd understand how important he is, and forgive him for leaving." That's what she always said, and the more she said it, the less you believed it.

You woke up, not moving from your spot in bed. You laid on your side continuing to stare at the wall as a single tear fell from your eye. You hated that dream, hated it more because it was a recurring one. From that day forward, you watched your mom fall for different men, and watch it end the same way it always did.

You heard a yawn from under you, "Good morning, Pipes."

"Morning, cupid" Piper groaned. You sat up and hopped off your bed and sat with Piper. "Wanna try again at surfing or are you still a wimp."

"Definitely still a wimp," you laughed. There was a knock at the door and a boy walked in.

"Yo," Conner Stroll called out. Piper sat up and you both turned into his direction. Conner's eyes widen as he smiled and walked over. "There ya are cupid, I been looking for you."

"I told you I'm not helping you steal from the camp store again."

"No no not that," Conner clarified, "Though I do believe you should rethink that."

You glared at him before he continued, "Anyways, Chiron wanted to ask me to pick up some demigod that was found in Florida, but my license got um, suspended."

"What's this have to do with me?"

"Please cover for me, I get it unsuspended in three days I'm begging you," Conner got on one knee and pressed his hands together, pleading with you. You and Piper locked eyes and laughed. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing, nothing, I'll do it. Always wanted to go to Florida anyways."

You got up and got dressed in some normal clothes, opposed from your camp Half-Blood shirt. You put on a another pair of denim shorts, a baggy shirt, and some converse, before heading out to the big-house for the car keys.

"Chiroonnnnn," you sang out as you walked into the house.

"Ah cupid, there you are, I assumed you are here for the keys," you nodded as he fished into his pocket and handing you the keys. You found it funny how even the staff called you cupid, it was like an endearing nickname you supposed. "Can't believe Conner got his license suspended."

You laughed as you headed out the door, "Hold on!"

You paused and turned as Chiron called out, "Whats up?"

"I would appreciate it if you brought a friend with you, maybe Percy," Chiron suggested, you nodded and this time made it fully out the door. It's almost like he was summoned by speaking his name, because there he was.

"PERCYY," you shouted as you ran your way over. He turned over with a concerned look on his face. "Hey there."

"Y/N," he deadpanned, "Is there a reason that your screaming like someones chasing you?"

"How would you feel about leaving camp and picking up a nice ol' demigod with me?" You smiled. "Pretty please."

"You don't gotta twist my arm about it, I'll go change," you smiled as he walked off.

"Wow, you asked Percy but not me? I feel offended," you jumped and saw Piper standing behind you.

"Don't feel offended, Chiron suggested it you know."

"Hmm."

"What?"

"Nothing, nothing. Have fun being stuck in a cramped car with Percy," you had to take a double take.

"Whats that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, nothing-"

"If you say that one more time-"

"I'm back," Percy reappeared now changed into some jorts (I think jorts are underrated) and a baggy shirt. "Ready?"

"Ready," you said. You and Percy went and walked off, as you quickly turned back to glare at Piper. You and Percy kept walking till you finally made it to one of the black SUVs reserved for transporting demigods. Percy walked toward the drivers seat before you stopped him.

"You don't have a license?"

"I'm showing some good manners?" Percy said as he opened the doors and allowed you to step in. You thanked him as he got into the passenger seat. You guys were 2 hours into the drive when you both drove into the drive through of a McDonalds. As you continued driving you guys ate and listened to music. And though Percy wouldn't admit this, he loved Lana Del Rey.

They judge me like a picture book By the colors, like they forgot to read

The soul read was crazy! After about 11 hours, the both of your eyelids were falling heavy, knowing it was time to get some sleep. You parked off into an empty parking lot and rolled back the seats, falling asleep. Or trying to.

"Are you asleep," Percy called out.

"Yeah," you heard rustling in the seat next to you. You turned your head and saw him looking at you. "Why're you staring at me?"

"I'm not?"

"Whatever you say," you smiled. "Percy?"

"Y/N."

"How come you don't call me cupid like everyone else?"

"You have your own name, so why stick you with your dads name," Percy turned on his back. "You don't even like him, do you?"

You were quiet for a second. You never really opened up about him. Sure Piper knew that you never liked relationships, but that's about it. "No, I don't."

You were quiet a few seconds. You didn't think about continuing, but the words spilled out. "When he left my mom, she was never the same. She tried hiding it but the older I got... I don't even know. All I know is she couldn't love the same."

You stopped speaking and turned back to Percy who was listening to you intently, you felt encouraged to continue. "What really sucked was, all she did was talk about him with love."

It was silent again before Percy spoke up, "is that why you closed off being in love?"

You waited a second before nodding,

"Through this sting was Amor made wiser. The untiring deceiver concocted another battle-plan: he lurked beneath the carnations and roses and when a maiden came to pick them, he flew out as a bee and stung her,"

you paused, "at the end of the day, love just hurts people."

"We both know you know that's not the case," Percy said lowly. "Think of all the people you've set up, if you really believe that, then why help them?"

"Just because I'll never understand why people want love, doesn't mean I can stop it, can I?"

"No, guess not. Still, why do you really help them," Percy asked again, turning back to you. You thought about it again.

"Sometimes I wish I was just as naive as everyone else," you admitted. "I wish I saw love as beautiful as everyone else did, not as a bee waiting in the flowers ready to sting me when I got close. Or.. vulnerable."

"You seem pretty vulnerable right now, and last I checked, I don't see any bees around to sting you," you looked over at Percy who was smiling. His contagious smiling spreading to you.

"We have a long drive tomorrow, we should sleep," you said.

"Yeah. You're right."

"I normally am."

You both drifted off to sleep, and thankfully, there was no recurring dream. Just a peaceful sleep. You two woke with the sun as it blasted into your faces. After saying your good mornings, you drove off. Getting some breakfast first, of course.

Percy looked at you with his eyebrow raised, "I don't think a Baja blast is good for you at 8 in the morning."

"Shut the fuck up."

You were not a morning person, if it wasn't clear. You guys kept driving and driving before finally making it to the young demigod's house by 6PM. You and Percy stretched your legs before walking up and knocking on the door. An older man, who you assumed to be the demigods father, opened the door.

"Are you the ones from the camp," the man asked.

"Yeah, I'm Y/N, and that's Percy," Percy waved.

"Hello my names Richard," he introduced himself before calling down his daughter. "This is my daughter, Delilah."

Delilah waved at the two at the door, she didn't look older than 7. She had blonde hair like her father and flowers in her hair and mud on her hands, like she'd been out in the back yard.

"She loves the the garden out back, can never get her away from it," Richard said.

"Well good thing we have a lot of gardens at camp," you said. You watched as Richard picked up his daughter and hugged her.

"I'll see you at the end of summer okay? I love ya pumpkin," he kissed her forehead before putting her down. The scene tugged at your heart strings, the little girl on the inside was shaking right now.

"Hey Delilah, ready to go on a little roadtrip," Percy asked after kneeling down to her level. She nodded her head quickly while smiling. "Well cmon, no time to waste!"

He picked her up while jumping and skipping on the way to the car. You said your goodbyes to the girls father and headed back to the car. You watched as Percy effortlessly made the young girl laugh and smile, it gave you a warm feeling inside. It's a feeling you wish you had when you were younger. You envied Percy's future kids, he was just so good with people. Of all ages.

"Let's hit the road," you said while hitting the gas. You and Percy hadn't eaten since breakfast that morning, determined to make it to Delilah at a reasonable hour, so now the two of you were starving. "Delilah, you want some pizza?"

"Yes! Yes!" That's all you needed, you pulled into the first pizza place you saw, a 'Groovys Pizza & Grill.' You guys all split a supreme pizza with pepperoni, sausage, ham, bacon, green pepper, onion, black olives. Turns out little Delilah was a bigger eater than she looked. After about an hour you all finished eating and packed back up into the SUV.

It was now 11PM, you and Percy were determined to push through to at least 1AM this time. Not Delilah though, she was asleep in the back.

"You were so good with her you know," you said.

"Hmm?"

"With Delilah, its like it came natural or something."

"Maybe. That's just how me and my mom always were. We always had our fun, never made me feel different you know," you smiled. Percy always talked so highly of his mother. Never with an ounce of resentment towards her. It was beautiful. "You know, I watched my mom go through a pretty bad relationship too."

You turned for a second to see Percy completely serious about what he's going to say, "She was with this guy, I always called him smelly Gabe. He treated us like shit, but she stayed with him because he protected me. Not like it was on purpose, his smell was just so ass it covered mine. I thought after getting with a god, she'd never have the normally life she wanted. Then she met her new husband Paul, and I'd never seen her happier. I even have a new sibling now, Estelle."

You smiled, "That's amazing, I'm glad it worked out for her. With the way you talk so highly of her, she deserves it."

"Yeah, but I didn't just say that to gloat."

"What are you saying?"

"I'm saying, sometimes a relationship goes sour. Sometimes that's how life is, giving up doesn't solve anything," Percy said as he yawned.

You drove in silence after that. He was right, but that doesn't make you less scared. You looked at Percy who was trying to get some shut eye, then at Delilah through the mirror up front. You always wanted to blame Eros for how he left your mom, well you did, but what good is that doing you? Missing out on a giant piece of life for the sake of resenting your father. Hades, after all this time, did you even know what it is to love someone? It was nearing 1AM, so you found another empty parking lot to fall asleep in before making it back to camp in the morning. Hopefully.

The next day, you three arrived at camp by 7PM. You might've broken some speed laws but you didn't care, you were tired of that car. You stretched out before walking Delilah to the main house where Chiron would talk and show her around. Now it was just you and Percy, walking your way to the dining pavilion where everyone was eating dinner.

"I hope you consider what I told you, you know," Percy said.

"What?"

"About getting over your fear. I knows there's someone out there ready to love you, trust me," you looked to Percy, watching him continue looking forward as he walked.

"I'll think on it," you almost whispered before looking back forward, nearly at your respective tables. You walked behind Piper, tapping her shoulder. When she saw you she put you in a bear hug.

"Pipes, I missed you too, but my ribs," you croaked. She let you go and let slip into the seat next to her.

"So, how'd it go?"

"Gods the drive was treacherous," you dragged. "But it was pretty fun."

"Fun?"

"Have some decorum please," you held up your hand. She smiled and so did you.

"But seriously, stop keeping the gossip to yourself," Piper complained.

"There's no gossip," you smiled. You remember watching how Percy acted towards a kid he's never met, and again, you felt the mix of the little girl in you and the you now sitting on this bench feel happy about it.

"Yeah sureee," Piper looked at you up and down before coming close to your ear, "because looks like cupid shot herself with her own arrow."

You just rolled your eyes, "did not."

"Whatever you say."

[enwoso]

You have somehow managed to make me fall in love with this little universe you created with grumpy and Alessia in such a short amount of time!

Would you be able to write something about when the England squad first found about Alessia having a child and how they handled that on camp and stuff? I feel like there would be quite a lot of protectiveness, especially considering how she's part of the younger group, particulalry from some of the older age groups, like Lucy, Leah, Ellen, Jill, Jordan, Millie ect.

MINI ME — alessia russo x child!reader

*oh my god i love writing this little universe!*

navigation

alessia had never imagined that she'd be a mother at such a young age. she had always dreamt of having a baby at the end of her footballing career while being in a stable relationship, living in a comfortable environment with little to no stress allowing her to enjoy motherhood.

the total fairytale fantasy.

however that fairytale fantasy never became a reality as alessia fell pregnant at 20 while in university, after one too many drinks and night with a boy she did trust enough but clearly trusted too much as after she took a test and the two lines displayed on the test telling her she was going to be a mother — he left? he didn't want that type of responsibility at such a young age.

so when alessia moved back to england and signed for manchester united she kept you hidden from her teammates worried about what they may say or think, ella being the only one who knew about you. after all she would sometimes look after you when mummy had important adult things to do or pick you up from nursery when mummy couldn’t.

"y/n? where've you gone?" she whisper yelled, looking around the foyer. you were in that toddler stage of hiding at any chance you got, putting your mum on the verge of a heart attack everytime you went out places.

"this isn't the time to play hide a seek lovie!" alessia said, a slight sterner tone in her voice as she looked around for you.

"boo!" you giggled, coming out from your hiding spot from behind the large indoor plants, looking up at your mum a devilish smile on your small face. a pointed look on your mums face as she kneeled down, grabbing your two small hands in hers.

"lovie, what have i told you about hiding, especially when we are in a new place. what if i had of walked away? you would have lost me" alessia reminded you softly as you nodded, your smile that was previously on your face replaced with a pout.

engulfing your mum in a hug, "sorry mummy" you mumbled into her chest as she kissed your forehead.

"i didn't know you had a little sister?" a voice was heard from a distant as alessia handed her passports over to the staff members, getting her room key. the blonde looking around to see who it was before her eyes landed on mille bright, lucy and leah.

alessia could feel her cheeks going redder by the second, as she stood up picking you up with her and placing you on her hip. the blonde beginning to stutter out a a response however you beat her to it with your innocent smile covering you face.

"that my mummy! i no have a sister!" you smiled at the three girls, their eyes almost popping out their head as you spoke. shock consuming them as their jaws hung to the floor.

"oh my god" lucy whispered as she was the first to break the awkward silence. alessia setting you back down on the floor as you were wriggling to be down.

"this is y/n, my daughter" alessia sighed, there being a slight silence as the information was being processed by the three girls head as you walked a little closer to the three girls, leah being the first to react by crouching down to your height. "hi y/n! i'm leah" you smiled nodding at her name looking to the other two girls standing in front of you.

“i’m lucy”

“and i’m millie”

you said a small hi to them as you moved back a little so that you were standing near to your mum, an arm wrapped around her leg. “and how old are you?” leah asked as you hummed thinking as you held up four fingers, “three!”

the girls giggling a little at your confidence, your mummy putting your extra finger down and correcting you, “lovie that’s three”

“ah”

“you play football with my mummy?” you asked, looking at leah but directing your question at all three of the girls. as they nodded all in sync.

“we do and there’s a few more of us too” millie said as you looked back to alessia wondering if she was telling the truth as your mum nodded her head as a little gasp came from you.

“where they?”

“through that long corridor, getting ready for a training session later on” lucy commented pointing to the way before you turned to your mum begging her to let you to go and see everyone else.

your mummy nodding as you grabbed her hand, swinging it a little as you followed the three girls you had just met just moments ago.

“auntie ella!” you yelled as you brushed past lucy and leah as they stood in the doorway, running to get to ella as she looked up from her phone, a smile cracking on her face as her arms opened up for you to run into. faces stopping and watching the interaction with both adoration and confusion.

“hey tiny, you alright!” ella asked as you hugged the girl tight, you hadn’t seen her since the last manchester united game a week ago. your mummy having being busy with getting ready for camp and you being at nursery up until yesterday.

“yep, i met lucy, leah and mille” you proudly said pointing to each girl as they had sat down at a table beginning to talk most likely about boring adult things.

“oh that’s exciting, what about everyone else though?” ella said as you began to shake your head stopping moments later as the midfielder began to twirl the two of you around, giggles escaping from you as she did so. stopping when she got back to her original place.

you looking around the room, a few familiar faces that you had recognised from your mum playing with them in manchester seeing them when you went to games with your grandparents — mary, keets and lotte who you only ever saw if you were down in london. the rest were new people, new people to talk to and share you infectious personality with.

ella took you around each person introducing you to each person with the permission from your mum first of course. the news spreading quickly throughout the camp that you were here and whose daughter you actually were much to many’s surprise.

the day going a lot smoother than alessia could have ever imagined, she had spent the past week thinking over and over about how it was going to go. replaying over and over in her head about how her teammates would react to her having a child.

alessia spent a good part of the afternoon after the introductions were over in the garden of st george’s park explaining her story in depth to those who were most interested; leah, keira, beth, lucy, mille, rachel and ella.

“that must have been so scary, you were so young.” beth whsipers still loud enough for everyone to hear, the girls all so intrigued but also immensely proud of alessia for her whole journey since you had arrived in her life.

as alessia told her story from the start, how she found out she was pregnant to how she came back to football.

“it was, but she’s my reason now. everything i do is for her future” alessia said simply a couple of the girls humming.

“if you ever need anything and i mean anything even if it’s just for someone to talk to, don’t be scared to ask any of us. we’ll always be here for you less” leah said softly but you could hear the protectiveness in her voice, alessia nodding taking in the support of her teammates which had grown to be her family as her eyes trailed over to where you were, the other girls following where the blondes eyes were looking.

“she’s literally a mini you” beth commented the rest of the girls agreeing as they began to list the similarities between you and your mum. as alessia smiled looking at you kicking a football with jordan and georgia

“i know, my mum says all the times that’s she’s a copy and paste of me from when i was little - only difference is she’s a bit more chatty than i was” alessia pointed out, hearing you talk away to jordan about the flowers growing in the ground, as the midfielder picked the ball from around them.

“but i think she gets that from her auntie ella!” alessia grinned looking towards her best friend who threw her hands up in shock.

“hey!”

“mummy! mummy!” you yelled out, the blondes head turning from her conversation towards you as jordan passed the ball to you. “watch this!” you added as toy had the ball at your feet and began to juggle with it from foot to foot.

alessia watched on grinning, as jordan counted the amount you got as georgia cheered you on. a small buzz of excitement coming from you as the ball dropped from your control as you ran over to your mum.

“lovie, that was awesome!” mummy cheered, as she held her hand up for you high five. the other girls saying there well dones. alessia watching as you smile got bigger and bigger with each seconds.

the way you had bonded with the team in hours warmed alessia’s heart to no end. knowing that these girls were going to now be apart of your life forever. her two worlds had joined and she couldn’t even to describe how much she loved it.

“any chance we can borrow her when we play on tuesday!” jordan joked as she and georgia came over slotting in on the seats with the other girls as they laughed but agreeing. as they all fell into a deep conversation.

you climbing up onto your mummy’s lap, as her arms wrapped around your front. a yawn escaping from your lips as you slumped back into your mummy’s chest playing with the rings on her fingers.

liked by keirawalsh and 612,540 others

alessia new day, new faces🩷

comments -

bethmead dibs on being best auntie!

1h 140 likes     reply

-> leahwilliamson no i am

-> georgiastanway no it’s me

-> lucybronze come on guys i obviously win!

-> ellatoone it’s quite clearly me!

-> millebright you all wrong it’s me.

-> maryearps it’s me

-> keirawalsh no me

-> racheldaly its obviously me!

[dragon-kazansky]

Bridgerton shade of blue

Benedict Bridgerton x Female Reader

Benedict bumps into you, quite literally, at a ball while trying to escape his mother's attempts to find him a partner. You decide to humour him with a dance, not realising just how entwined you would become with him. It seems the universe will find every excuse to push you and Benedict together, no matter how much you fight it.

{Masterlist}

{Previous Chapter} - {Next Chapter}

Season one

Chapter Eight - Sparkling diamond

♡♡♡

Benedict joined his sister, Eloise, out in the garden again long after the other had gone to bed. She was smoking on the swing like last time.

As Benedict takes a seat on the opposite swing, she passes him the cigarette. He takes it.

"I found bits of your sketchbook in the fireplace," Eloise says.

"Are you spying on me now?"

"You'd actually have to be interesting for me to bother spying on you," she chuckles.

"The drawings in that sketchbook were abominable," he says firmly. "I could not stand to look at them."

"I believe that is why they call it a sketchbook." Eloise looks at them. "I write in my diary, which is not the same as wiring in my novel."

Benedict chuckles.

"It must be very difficult to want something and not be able to get it."

"Eloise..."

"If you enjoy drawing but need practise, then practise," she goes on. "Hire a drawing master. Find a young lady to act impressed."

You cross his mind. However, he doesn't want you to act impressed. He wants you to be impressed by his work. Genuinely so.

"If you desire the sun and the moon, all you have to do is go out and shoot at the sky. Some of us cannot.

"Look no further than Lady Whistledown. She possesses a huge talent for writing, and yet she must hide away and publish under a false name."

"Yes, because if anyone knew who Whistledown truly was, she'd be strung up for what she said," Benedict states.

"That is not my point. Whistledown is a woman, therefore she has nothing, and still she writes. You're a man, therefore you have everything. You are able to do whatever you want. So do it. Be bold."

Eloise envies her brothers.

"At least that way I can live vicariously through you." She rises to leave.

"Eloise... are you Lady Whistledown?" Benedict asks.

Eloise laughs.

"You're an accomplished writer, always scribbling in that diary of yours. You certainly know everyone else's business. You have more opinions than anyone else I know in London. You would have my full support and admiration either way, sister."

Elosie laughs again.

"So... is it you?"

"No." She looks at him. "Though if it were... do you honestly think that I'd admit it?"

Elosie heads back inside.

Benedict is left with his thoughts.

♡♡♡

The ballroom was elegantly designed. Soft shades to light up the room. You find yourself without a dance partner, however.

Prince Friedrich was in the middle of a dance with Cressida Cowper.

The duke was standing sternly off to the side with Lady Danbury. They appeared to be talking quietly, though judging by the stern faces, it was not a pleasant conversation.

You find yourself gently, and you admire the room. Benedict wasn't here. You couldn't see him at all.

That is not to say you had gone unnoticed. You glance to your left and find a perfectly suitable gentleman looking your way. You smile softly and turn your gaze away.

Tactics of flirtation were not completely out of your power.

Before anyone could make a move, however, the doors at the top of the stairs opened. It wasn't so much the doors that caught everyones attention, more like who had come through them.

You swear you all breath left you when your eyes landed on Daphne coming down the stairs with her mother. She was wearing the most beautiful silver gown you had ever seen, and her hair was beautifully done. She looked like, well, a princess.

In her hand was a feather fan. It went beautifully with her attire. She began to descend the stairs.

All eyes were on her.

Prince Friedrich was at the bottom of the stairs. Not once did he look away. You watch with interest as Daphne gets closer, closer, and closer to him.

The prince leaves Cressida's side to meet Daphne at the bottom stair.

The duke does not move.

Daphne stops.

"Miss Bridgerton, I simply musylt have your first dance." He speaks to her softly.

"It would be an honour, your highness." She curtsies.

A moment passes between them, and then you watch as Daphne drops her fan. Just like that, the prince kneels down to pick it up.

The prince kneeled.

You don't even realise the soft gasp you let out as you watch.

Prince Friedrich offers her the fan, and she takes it. She smiles at him and then gives the fun to her mother as she takes the prince hand.

They dance.

The duke leaves. Though he turns back to look at Daphne before he goes.

In the words of Lady Whistledown, why settle for a duke when one can have a prince?

♡♡♡

The invitation to attend the boxing match came from Anthony Bridgerton. You were rather pleasantly surprised by his invitation.

Anthony apparently needed some help to keep his mother quiet about finding a wife for himself.

You laughed.

You follow the siblings until they reach the prince. He approaches Daphne, but greets you, also. You curtsy.

Anthony then offers you his arm. "Shall we?"

You chuckle and take it, allowing him to lead you over to some seats. As you settle, you turn to the eldest Bridgerton.

"Where are you brothers?" You ask.

"My brothers? Currently talking to one of the fighters." He gestures to the edge of the ring where you spot Colin and Benedict.

You don't even notice you're smiling.

"You and my brother seem to have grown rather close." Anthony points out, looking at you.

"I can assure you there is nothing untoward. Your brother is my friend, as are you all now." You smile at him.

Anthony chuckles.

"Benedict seems to have a lot on his mind at the moment. I am not one to get in the way of someone's business."

"Smart woman," Anthony chuckles.

You nudge his arm lightly and wait for the fight to begin.

As the match is announced to begin, the other brothers find their way to you and Anthony. Benedict looks rather surprised to see you. "I had no idea you were attending."

"Your brother invited me to keep your mother off his back. It seems that is all I'm good for." You chuckle.

"No true, but appreciated none the less," Benedict comments.

You smile, and he takes the empty seat beside you. It does not go unnoticed that you keep your arm looped with Anthony's. He doesn't comment on it.

The fight is intense. You gasp with every hard punch. The men around you cheer on their victor.

You had never witnessed such a match before, and you would be lying if you said you were not somewhat into it.

As the crowd stands, you stand with them and cheer along with the Bridgerton brothers. William Mondrich was their friend, and he was putting up hell of a good fight.

Benedict finds it amusing how excited you seem to be.

Mondrich wins!

You cheer along with the brothers. You laugh at the excitement. It was a thrilling match, indeed.

Anthony helps you down from your seat and speaks close to your ear so you can hear him. "We're off to collect our winnings. I shall see to it you get home right after."

You nod and thank him. As he leaves to fetch his earrings, Benedict turns to you.

"Did you enjoy that?"

You chuckle. "I did. Surprisingly."

"I must say, I did not expect to see you in attendance."

"I am full of surprises."

Benedict looks at you quietly for a moment. "Yes. You are."

You smile and look away. However, his gaze lingers on you for a bit.

Later, the Bridgertons see to it that you get home safely before they head off to the club. A place for the gentlemen only.

Anthony helps you up into the carriage and thanks you for humouring him today. Yo return the gesture and wave as the carriage leaves.

Colin has to nudge Benedict out of his thoughts.

♡♡♡

@callmemana - @lilscast - @imgondeletedis - @benedictbridgertonss - @clownsdiehard - @wxnterwidow333

@sillynilly27 - @autumn-slaves - @ben-has-arrived - @ajdelilah - @aadu2173

@booknerdlife - @tamlinrose - @sarahskywalker-amidala - @cheryyluv - @louschan - @lou-la-lou - @cultish-corner

@hopshusushi - @katherinejess - @nannabug - @afunkyfreshblog - @f0x33 - @dd122004dd -

@jupitervenusearthmars - @orchiidflwer - @bespinnn - @captainlunaxmen - @winchestersimpalababy - @acupnoodle

@ms-fandomgirl - @fablesrose - @anyaisinyourcloset - @meowzerzstuff -

[nunalastor]

Charlie getting concerned over Lucifer's insistence on proving himself as Alastor's partner to Susan:

-

Charlie: Please dad, c'mon. This isn't worth it!

Lucifer: Charlie. She called me a gigolo. A gigolo! I don't even know what that means but I know I can't let it stand!

Charlie: Who cares!? Susan's mean to everyone! Even if you did somehow get her to like you she'd still be a mean old bitch to you!

Rosie: She absolutely would.

Lucifer: I just need to get through to her that I'm not just playing around with Alastor's (probably shriveled) heart! Cox isn't even that great, he's clearly just as bad as Susan thinks I am! Maybe, no, definitely worse!

Charlie: Wh- You don't even like Alastor!

Lucifer: Not the point.

Rosie: [Chuckles while Charlie groans.]

[Suddenly the doors burst open and Alastor storms in, murder in his eyes.]

Rosie: Enjoy your date, hon?

Alastor: Rosie dear, if you must revel in my suffering, I'd honestly rather you use pliers to remove my fingernails one by one.

[The door bursts open again and Vox and Susan stroll in, smiling and chatting.]

Vox: Oh Alastor, you left the very expensive gift I got you in the car!

Alastor: (through gritted teeth) That's very generous of you, but I-

Susan: [Growls and raises her umbrella threateningly.]

Alastor: ...Thank you.

Susan: (sweetly) Aw, what a nice young man. I don't understand why you two didn't work out.

Susan: (angrily, to Lucifer) Unlike this fuckin' cheapskate over here.

Lucifer: I built him a whole new radio tower!

Susan: Pssht. That fuckin' eyesore? I wouldn't let a pig live in that sty.

Alastor: [Actually likes the new radio tower but refuses to say so.]

Alastor: Well as lovely as it has been to spend time with the both of you, I believe it's time you were on your way. Vox does have quite the hectic schedule to return to, no?

Vox: Alas, being the CEO of a multi-million dollar corporation does eat up one's free time. If only I could spend all day locked up in my mansion playing with toys-

Lucifer: [Eye twitch.]

Vox: -or better yet, doting on you as you deserve. But you're right. I really should be getting back to my important work. It's been just wonderful to see you again, Alastor.

[Under Susan's glare, Alastor holds his hand out for a handshake. Vox takes Alastor's hand, bows, and raises Alastor's hand to his mouth for a kiss. Alastor goes rigid and flashes the radio dial eyes but before he can retaliate, Vox pulls him close and wraps his free hand around Alastor's waist.]

Vox: Until next time, Alastor~

[Vox leaves, shooting a stunned Lucifer and an infuriated Alastor a smug look. Susan is oblivious.]

Susan: Such a romantic. I might just snap him up myself at this rate!

Alastor: By all means, don't let me stand in your way.

Susan: [Swats him with the umbrella.]

Susan: Don't give me that cheek, boy. You're lucky Vox is willing to give you a second chance after you broke his heart! I hope next time I see you, you've pulled that fuck-ass bob outta yer ass and dumped the gigolo.

Susan: [Leaves.]

Alastor: ...Well, if you'll excuse me, I need to go run my hand under boiling water for an hour.

Alastor: [Leaves.]

Charlie: ...Dad?

Lucifer: Yeah?

Charlie: (eyes red, horns out) Destroy that motherfucker.

Lucifer: Oh, with pleasure.

Rosie: (sipping her tea) Oooh, things are about to get really interesting...

👀

[misshoneyimhome]

If you’re willing to write for jack Hughes, maybe something like he & the reader are friends & he finds out that she’s never “finished” (like she’s not a virgin, but she just never finished while having sex), and so he wants to help her out?

Maybe you can add like him liking her before this already, but it doesn’t matter :)

Alrighty bb! I'm so sorry it took so long for me to write this, but it's my first time writing about Jack Hughes, so it took a bit longer than usual 😉 Nonetheless, I hope you enjoy it 🤍 Happy New Year to all Jack H. lovers out there 🥂

[So, apparently, I find it a bit difficult to write about slow sex 🙈]

Warnings; smut 18+; fingering; protected sex (p in v);

Word count; 3.2K

[bestfriend!Jack x reader]

・✶ ｡ﾟ

What's your name? (what's your name?) Who's your daddy? (who's your daddy?) Is he rich, is he rich like me? Has he taken any time To show, to show you what you need to live?

Time of the season - Zombie

**

"Have you decided on a movie?" Jack called from the kitchen while wrapping up the popcorn.

"Yeah, all set here," you hollered back. "Just waiting on the snacks."

"Okay, I'm here now," Jack hurried over with a chuckle as you were already settled on the sofa, patiently waiting for him.

It was a typical evening spent with your good friend Jack Hughes, a bit of a tradition whenever he returned from a road trip with the New Jersey Devils.

This pattern started off a few months back when Jack had first texted you on his way home, feeling a bit down after some games resulting in losses on the road. And realising how much it affected him, you spent the next day brainstorming ways to cheer him up.

That's when the idea of a movie night came about. The goal was to find a classic, light-hearted comedy that could take Jack's mind off things. And it seemed to do the trick.

And ever since that night, after every road trip, you and Jack would meet up (no matter wins or loses), watch a movie, and then spend the night chatting about pretty much anything and everything.

If he wanted to talk about the trip, you'd talk about that. Or if he needed a diversion from hockey, then that's exactly what you'd provide.

That's just how your friendship worked - calm, laid-back, and straightforward.

With Jack, you felt like there wasn't much you couldn't discuss. Well, perhaps there were a few personal matters you'd never broached with your close friend. However, it never seemed to be an issue. 

Though, on this particular evening, during the movie, your phone lit up with a text from your girlfriend, sparking a somewhat sensitive topic to your conversation.

"I swear! This guy is the one 😱 five orgasms tonight babe - I think I’m in love!!"

A smile crept onto your face as you read the message.

It was from one of your best friends, out on a date with a new Tinder match, which was somewhat a weekly ritual for her, yet this time it seemed she'd finally met someone who could meet her rather demanding needs.

"What's so funny?" Jack asked, noticing your smile and focused attention on your phone.

"Oh, it's nothing," you casually responded.

"Come on, tell me - it's clearly something amusing," your friend prodded, as his curiosity piqued.

"It's just Mel, she's on another date," you said, flashing a soft smile as you showed Jack the message, causing his eyes to widen a bit.

"Wow, sounds like she's having quite a night," Jack chuckled lightly.

"Yeah, I suppose," you shrugged, darting your eyes between the movie playing on the TV and your phone, trying to evade Jack's gaze and the topic a bit. However, Jack seemed intent on delving further into the matter.

"Well, I mean, five orgasms in one go, that's quite something," he chuckled lightly. "Depends on the person, of course."

But you found yourself biting your lip, feeling a bit out of your depth with the subject.

"I, um... I guess..." you mumbled nervously. "I mean, I... I wouldn't really know," you softly admitted, staring at your phone in your hand.

"What?" Jack chuckled. "What do you mean you wouldn't know?"

His expression shifted to one a bit puzzled as you quietly revealed your personal secret.

"Well... I haven't exactly ‘finished’... ever."

A brief silence fell between you, the only sound being the TV's credits playing in the background.

"You haven't... had an orgasm? Ever?" Jack asked, genuinely surprised by your sudden confession.

"Well... I mean, kind of - at least I think I have, by myself... but I've just never reached that... climax point with someone else," you slowly exhaled as your eyes met Jack's, giving him a nervous glance.

"Are you serious, y/n?" The hockey player stared at you, utterly baffled, prompting you to gently nod in confirmation.

Jack couldn't help but feel a pang in his heart. How could that be the case?

"It's not as if I haven't had good sex before, Jack," you attempted to explain, trying to ease the tension that had softly developed. "I just haven't... you know, reached that point..."

"But yeah, that’s like the best part! I just don’t get it... Hasn't any guy ever taken his time to make sure you had the complete experience? To give you that satisfaction?" 

Your confession seemed to strike a chord with your friend, and though you weren't entirely certain why, it did provide a slight sense of reassurance.

For a while, you'd felt as though something might be wrong with you. Maybe you just couldn't reach climax during sex with someone else. However, Jack's reaction made you reconsider that notion. In a positive light.

"I suppose not..." you spoke gently, locking eyes with him. "There hasn't always been the time, you know... And every time, it seemed they were just aiming to please themselves."

But Jack wasn't willing to accept that. It didn't seem fair to you that you hadn't experienced the true pleasure of sex, if your partners hadn't taken the time to ensure your pleasure was as important as theirs.

And he could feel his mind racing as he pondered how to address this newfound information.

If Jack had to be completely honest, you weren’t just a good friend to him. You held a special place in his heart that went beyond mere friendship, even though there had never been anything romantic or sexual between you.

Truth be told, he had a little crush on you. 

Over time, he found you to be someone remarkable. You showed genuine care and support for him, whether it was on the side-line of games or a shoulder to lean on outside the hockey world. And you never asked for anything in return.

You didn’t boast to everyone about your friendship with an NHL hockey player or flaunt your closeness to his family. And your lack of interest in his fame and money was one of the many reasons why he admired you so much.

So, sitting there beside you, realising that you had been missing out on something so wonderful, made him consider whether perhaps he could be the one to introduce you to the pleasures of a fulfilling sexual experience.

However, he hesitated to voice his thoughts, unsure of how you might react. Yet, before he could gather his courage, you interrupted his train of thought.

"Are you okay, Jackie?"

"Yeah, I'm just thinking..."

"About?"

"Nothing... well, not exactly nothing..."

"You can tell me?"

Running his fingers through his hair, Jack took a moment to choose his words carefully, hoping not to alarm you. Then, he tenderly brushed the smooth skin on your cheek as his gaze fixated on your lips.

"I want to show..." he breathed softly, licking his lips almost seductively. "I want to show you just how amazing it can be..."

You were slightly taken aback. Did your best friend just propose that the two of you should have sex?

Yet, Jack's deep eyes revealed no falsehood. He seemed almost dead serious as his gaze met yours again, and you had to remind yourself to breathe.

Jack was without a doubt attractive. And maybe even more than just attractive. Truth be told, you understood precisely why so many girls were constantly swooning over him. He had an incredible charm. His laughter and smile could light up any room, and his hockey-built physique only added to his appeal.

But you'd never considered that he might be attracted to you. You were simply a long-time family friend he could turn to for comfort.

However, in that very moment, it seemed you might have a chance at being something a bit more.

"What?" you asked in disbelief. "I mean, what?"

And Jack gently nodded, his fingers tucking a loose strand of hair behind your ear.

"Y/n, it pains me to think you've never experienced just how good sex can be, so yeah, I'd love to be the one to show you..."

In truth, there wasn't much to contemplate. Though he was your best friend, you didn’t want to overthink why he was expressing a desire to have sex with you. Perhaps it was simply because he felt bad that no one had ever made you feel that way. Nonetheless, it wasn't something you'd turn down.

So, with a gentle nod and a soft smile, you gave him your consent.

However, as he tenderly guided you to his bedroom and began to place delicate kisses on your neck while slowly undressing you, Jack felt the need for more reassurance. He wanted to be absolutely certain that you were completely comfortable with taking this step in your friendship.

"You're sure you want this?"

"Yes, Jack," you whispered softly, your palms delicately finding their way to his chest. 

And with a soft nod, his large hands then smoothly slid under the hem of your shirt, pulling it over your head and revealing your bra to your best friend for the first time. It was an intimate moment, the closest Jack had ever been to you, his soft lips touching yours, while witnessing you in this vulnerable state. It felt incredible.

The atmosphere was serene and gentle as Jack dimmed the lights in his spacious bedroom, aiming to create the most relaxed setting for you. He even put on some soothing tunes in the background, something that always helped him unwind before a tense match.

An as you were left in just your underwear, Jack gently guided you to lie down on the bed. Though he knew you weren't entirely inexperienced nor a virgin, he wanted to ensure that both of you took the time necessary. Moreover, he had to manage his own excitement. This was about your needs, so he needed to ensure he wouldn’t reach climax too quickly.

Your eyes held a profound gaze as he slowly undressed himself to his boxers and joined you on the bed, his larger body hovering over yours before tenderly placing a soft kiss on your lips.

Your fingers instinctively found his semi-long locks, pulling him a bit closer, eager to deepen the kiss. But Jack pulled back slightly, reminding himself to maintain focus and take things slowly.

"Easy there... we have plenty of time," he whispered softly, redirecting his attention to your neck instead. He kissed, sucked, and nibbled gently on your sensitive skin, allowing you to relax into the comfortable sensations.

A wave of pleasure swept over you as Jack took his time to ease your nerves, allowing you to immerse yourself in the delightful feelings. Soft sighs mingled with light moans escaped your lips as his hand massaged your breast, teasing your nipple through the thin fabric before travelling down to your lacy panties. With gentle strokes, he caressed your warmth, while withdrawing his lips from your skin to observe your exquisite face, reflecting hints of pleasure under his touch.

Locking eyes with him, as his touch grew more intense, you desired more than just gentle caresses.

"Jack..." you breathed out. "Touch me, more."

And your wish was his command. 

His fingers slid under your bottoms, gliding through your folds before carefully finding your clit. Being mindful of his rough hockey fingers, he was careful as he circled your sensitive bud, causing more moans to escape your lips.

It was a sight to behold for Jack. Watching your eyes shut tightly, your expressions contorting in pleasure, as he increased his touch, he found it incredibly hot. 

"Is it good, baby?" Jack whispered softly; his voice tinged with seduction.

"Yes... Yes, Jack, it's so good," you managed to voice, overwhelmed by the pleasure his fingers were providing, surpassing anything you'd experienced alone.

Under his touch, it felt incredibly wonderful. Jack's fingers worked their magic, and while most guys might have grown impatient by now, he was still taking the time needed to bring you to that peak of pleasure. He was focused on leading you to that blissful climax, feeling a rush of desire as he watched you succumb to the overwhelming sensation.

Then as he felt your body both relaxed and tense with pleasure, Jack adjusted his position slightly. Although there was a fleeting disappointment as his fingers withdrew from your sensitive spot, it didn't last long, as he swiftly removed your panties and positioned himself on his knees between your legs. Then, his left thumb found your sensitive nub again, igniting that pleasurable sensation once more. You had to let your head sink back into the pillow, feeling an unfamiliar but incredible sensation building in your lower abdomen - a feeling beyond description.

Your hands gripped the pillow tightly on each side of your head, eyes closed, as gasps and moans escaped you.

And while observing your reaction, Jack sensed you were approaching that unfamiliar peak you longed for, so with his right hand, he gently found your entrance, teasingly poking with a finger.

"Still feeling good?"

"Yes," you panted. "Yes, Jack... Please," you almost felt embarrassed by your plea, but you were completely under his spell.

And the pleasure only intensified as Jack carefully inserted two digits into your tight core, stretching your walls, guiding you towards an unparalleled level of ecstasy.

"Jack... Fuck," you moaned louder as he withdrew his fingers only to push them back in, establishing a gentle rhythm alongside his circling thumb, delivering multiple waves of stimulation.

"Yeah, that's good, baby, just relax," he encouraged softly.

It was more than good - it was overwhelming. You had never experienced the sensation in your abdomen evolve into something so intense. It seemed to expand, flooding every vein with pleasure as the promise of an orgasm slowly took hold, clouding your mind.

And Jack felt your body's reaction to his touch, the walls of your core contracting around his fingers as you neared your long-awaited climax. So, adjusting his angle, he gently curled his fingers upwards, seeking that particularly sensitive spot. And as you let out a loud moan and arched your back, he knew he'd found it.

So, he persisted, hitting that spot repeatedly.

Your mind, body, and soul felt as though they were being torn apart in a rush of ecstasy, as Jack increased his speed, overstimulating you, and causing your juices to coat his fingers.

"Shit! Jack, I think I'm gonna..." you gasped, the sensations almost overwhelming you.

"That's it, baby, come for me! Let go and show me how good I'm making you feel."

And so, you did.

With a loud, deep moan originating from the depths of your abdomen, you surrendered yourself entirely, slipping into a euphoric state as the orgasm surged through your body, rendering your mind hazy and grey.

"Fuck," you cried out as Jack's movements gradually slowed down, and you had to take a few moments to regain control of your breath, slowly coming down from the intense high, as he withdrew his fingers.

Jack couldn't help but smile, thoroughly enjoying the sight beneath him. It almost felt to scoring an overtime goal as he observed how profoundly he could pleasure you, while you opened your eyes, locking gazes with him.

"Was it good?" he asked, a mischievous grin playing on his lips, although he already knew the answer.

"Well, can't really say no to that, can I?" you chuckled lightly, summoning the strength to prop yourself up on your elbows. "It was fucking amazing, Jack... thank you."

"No need to thank me... I just wanted to make sure you had the best experience," he replied, flashing you a charming smile that could easily sweep any girl off her feet.

"Well, I must admit, you really did," you returned his smile. "But what about you?"

Your eyes couldn't help but drift to the bulge that had unmistakably formed in his boxers, feeling an urge to reciprocate the pleasure somehow.

However, Jack simply let out a soft chuckle before leaning in, hovering over you, and planting a gentle kiss on your lips.

"We don't have to do anything about that right now..."

"Why not?" you looked at him, slightly perplexed. "Jack, I want you to feel good too."

"Are you sure ab—"

"Yes, Jack..." you interrupted, leaning towards him once more, this time deepening the kiss, conveying how much you desired him.

Pulling back slightly, he nodded. "Okay... just give me a moment."

With that, Jack rose from his position, undressing until he stood completely naked, unveiling his eagerly throbbing member. You couldn't help but gasp at the sight. It was long, hard, and slightly curved at the tip, yet perfect in its own right. It complemented Jack's physique, and you felt an intense sudden need to feel it inside you.

And fortunately, there wasn't much of a wait. 

Jack swiftly opened the condom packet from his bedside table, put it on, and smoothly went for the missionary position. He then positioned the tip of his cock at your entrance, before carefully pushing in.

Your hand quickly found its way to his hair again as he kissed you passionately, steadily rocking his hips back and forth, causing pleasurable sensations as he slid in and out of you. 

Whether it was Jack's perfectly shaped and fitted member or the intense orgasm from his earlier touch, you couldn't tell, but before long, you felt that new familiar sensation building up once more. 

And Jack found himself unable to hold back much longer. 

While it had been thrilling for him to witness your pleasure, he was now eager for his own release. 

And as you both sank into the mattress again, his hips meeting yours in a rhythmic pace, he felt himself nearing his climax. 

Your tightening walls spurred him on, and as he lost control, increasing his speed and force, your harmonising moans and heavy breaths filled the room. He was just about to reach the peak as you moaned loudly.

"Fuck Jack, I'm about to come again," you exclaimed.

His rhythm hit you just right, and you couldn't ignore the trembling in your legs as the high took over, succumbing to your second orgasm of the night.

"Yes, come with me…"

And after a few more thrusts, Jack reached his climax, releasing into the latex as both of you let out deep moans, riding the waves of pleasure.

"Shit..." you gasped, a tear trickling down your cheek, overwhelmed by the intense sensation.

"Yeah..." Jack agreed, breathing into the crook of your neck, as he carefully withdrew and settled beside you, pulling you close for a sweaty cuddle, his arm wrapping under your neck, and he turned his head to meet your gaze. 

"Are you alright?"

You couldn’t help but let out a light chuckle. 

"Yes, Jack, I'm more than alright... that was incredible," you smiled at the hockey player.

"You have no idea how happy that makes me... y/n, you deserved to experience that pleasure," he took your hand and tenderly kissed it.

"Thank you, Jack, you really made me feel amazing..."

With wide smiles on both your faces, Jack then headed to the bathroom to dispose of the condom. And returning with a damp cloth for you to freshen up, he then followed by tucking you in for a cuddle. This was important to him, a crucial part of the whole experience, especially because you were his best friend, and he wanted you to know this wasn't just a casual fuck.

He showed genuine care, and you felt more than content and satisfied in his embrace.

[barcaatthemoon]

te amo || ona batlle x reader ||

ona gets something off of her chest.

you had not quite grown accustomed to what it meant for ona to be living with you again. there had been quite a bit of time from when you were in manchester together to your transfer to barcelona. once your girlfriend and your best friend both transferred to other teams, you decided that you didn't want to stay in manchester all alone.

barcelona didn't offer you a starting position in their lineup, but you were fine to work your way there. even just through the practices, you felt like you were playing the best football of your life. even some of your harder to impress national team coaches had commented on you being in top form at practice. everything was going great, except for the fact that you had a tendency to forget that wherever you were, ona tended to also be.

cooking had always felt like a sacred practice to you. there was a routine that you liked to follow for every meal you made yourself. it didn't have to be all strict or serious, however. if you were having a good time while you were cooking, you swore that the food tasted better.

"i think i like this little life," you sang to yourself as you moved around the kitchen. you continued on with the little song that had been stuck in your head for the past month. ona liked to tease you about all the time you spent on tiktok, whether that be making videos or watching them. however, you knew that you were doing the people a great service by showing them glimpses into your life at barcelona.

you had gotten so caught up in yourself and your song that you failed to notice ona coming into the kitchen. she quietly sat down at the island your back was facing. she watched as you moved around from one little station to the next. it was too much for her brain to wrap around, especially after the grueling practice the two of you had been through.

"shit! you scared me." you were clutching your chest as you tried to catch your break. ona's face fell as your song came to a stop. you were about to ask if she felt okay when ona spoke up instead.

"no, don't stop. i like the sound of your voice," ona told you. she gave you her best puppy dog eyes and pout, which worked almost instantly. you pressed play on your phone and continued to sing along to whatever songs came up that you knew the words to. ona stared at you dreamily, unable to take her eyes off of you.

"is everything okay?" you asked her. it wasn't like ona to sit there so quietly for so long. the woman was like a puppy, always full of energy and ready to race around whatever room she was in.

"te amo," ona said quietly. for a moment, you were pretty sure that you had misheard her. you had been around enough spanish speaking people to know that it held a higher meaning than just saying that she loved you. the words were impactful, and made to be even more so by the way that ona looked at you.

you had noticed it before, how she'd stare at you sometimes like you personally put the sun in the sky. it was weird to think that she loved you like that, but you were grateful for it. things hadn't always been so easy for the two of you, but now it was effortless to slot into each other's lives.

"can i say it back?" you asked her. ona perked up at it immediately. she moved from behind the island to where you were standing by the other counter. ona reached up to cup your cheeks and gently tugged your face down towards hers. she pressed a soft kiss to your lips. it managed to hold all of the love and passion she felt for you without becoming too raunchy or messy. "te amo."