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unbidden-yidden-deactivated20240 · 8 months

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So here I am, unable to sleep again, because of the horrifying attack on Israel.

The stories keep coming out and for every new detail I find out, another part of my soul shatters.

[***massive trigger warning for the rest***]

I feel like I'm living in a parallel world to everyone who is not affected by this situation. It's been surreal to go about my work day and regular life as if the images of blood-soaked cradles, burned corpses, raped and wounded women, captives of all ages being taken away on vehicles, video of a small child being taunted for crying for his mother, body bags lined up in rows on the ground, torched cars and homes, and the raw grief of the surviving family members aren't burned onto the backs of my eyelids.

One account I read from a family member of the deceased was that she was beaten, raped in multiple ways and sticks shoved into each place, and left for dead. Another I came across spoke of a small child being forced to watch his parents tortured, killed, and hacked apart. Still another I saw was a report of several children bludgeoned to death so as not to "waste the bullets."

How can I possibly begin to process this?

These people look just like the people in my communities and the friends I've made across the sea. They have my Hebrew teacher's hair, my rabbi's cheekbones, they sound like the shinshinim kids we have each year. They look like the baby nephews of my fellow congregants. I could have davened next to any of them and never known. It is only sheer dumb luck that I don't personally know someone who has died or lost close family.

There has been a pit of dread in my stomach since Shimini Atzeret that will not go away. I find myself on the verge of tears at all times, yet have not been able to actually cry (which is not a good sign; an inability to express sadness in tears is a known post-trauma response for me) and I cannot rest normally. Sometimes I can distract myself for a bit, but the pain and grief rush back in immediately when I remember.

I can feel, in real time, this Jewish cultural trauma sinking into my bones.

And you might think I might be able to separate myself from it since I'm not there and don't have family there. But I can't, because I don't want to. I can't, because some tether bound me forever to the land as soon as my feet hit the ground there, and some part of my soul stayed behind when I left. I don't want to, because these are my people and so they are my adoptive family, even if I do not know them. I am my brother's keeper.

And so here I stand, half a world away from the danger, nervous and scared and grieving, searching our perfectly blue sky for signs of missiles that are not falling here and being startled constantly by the normal and unbroken landscape. The lush beauty of Midwestern autumn woods is juxtaposed in my mind with Middle Eastern walls painted in the blood of my people and their broken bodies beneath them. I see it in the waking light of day as clear as anything in front of me, and walk around like a person divided, in both places at once yet not being fully present in either. I cannot unsee it.

How can I possibly explain this? To myself? To the people actually having to live this nightmare? To the other people removed from the immediate physical danger but who do have blood relatives and/or other family there that they're just praying stay safe and come home at the end of the day? That they are constantly checking their phones for updates or even minimal signs that they're still alive?

The words fail me, but I the closest thing I have to an answer is love. I love my people and I would rather absorb this pain with them and carry it in my soul forever than look away from Jewish suffering. That is a promise I made by joining this people, that my fate would forever be bound up in the collective fate of klal Yisrael. Wherever you go, I will go; wherever you stay, I will stay; your people shall be my people, and your G-d my G-d. Where you die, I will die, and there I will be buried. Thus and more may Hashem do to me if anything but death parts me from you.

אַל־תִּפְגְּעִי־בִ֔י לְעׇזְבֵ֖ךְ לָשׁ֣וּב מֵאַחֲרָ֑יִךְ כִּ֠י אֶל־אֲשֶׁ֨ר תֵּלְכִ֜י אֵלֵ֗ךְ וּבַאֲשֶׁ֤ר תָּלִ֙ינִי֙ אָלִ֔ין עַמֵּ֣ךְ עַמִּ֔י וֵאלֹהַ֖יִךְ אֱלֹהָֽי׃ בַּאֲשֶׁ֤ר תָּמ֙וּתִי֙ אָמ֔וּת וְשָׁ֖ם אֶקָּבֵ֑ר כֹּה֩ יַעֲשֶׂ֨ה יְהֹוָ֥ה לִי֙ וְכֹ֣ה יוֹסִ֔יף כִּ֣י הַמָּ֔וֶת יַפְרִ֖יד בֵּינִ֥י וּבֵינֵֽךְ׃

[רות א]

I do not take that lightly, and I feel it in my bones. Some core part of me shattered at the same time as the rest of my community.

I cannot, and I will not look away. I will not close my heart or shield myself from this tragedy. And I will not forget.

עַ֥ל נַהֲר֨וֹת ׀ בָּבֶ֗ל שָׁ֣ם יָ֭שַׁבְנוּ גַּם־בָּכִ֑ינוּ בְּ֝זׇכְרֵ֗נוּ אֶת־צִיּֽוֹן׃ עַֽל־עֲרָבִ֥ים בְּתוֹכָ֑הּ תָּ֝לִ֗ינוּ כִּנֹּרוֹתֵֽינוּ׃ כִּ֤י שָׁ֨ם שְֽׁאֵל֪וּנוּ שׁוֹבֵ֡ינוּ דִּבְרֵי־שִׁ֭יר וְתוֹלָלֵ֣ינוּ שִׂמְחָ֑ה שִׁ֥ירוּ לָ֝֗נוּ מִשִּׁ֥יר צִיּֽוֹן׃ אֵ֗יךְ נָשִׁ֥יר אֶת־שִׁיר־יְהֹוָ֑ה עַ֝֗ל אַדְמַ֥ת נֵכָֽר׃ אִֽם־אֶשְׁכָּחֵ֥ךְ יְֽרוּשָׁלָ֗͏ִם תִּשְׁכַּ֥ח יְמִינִֽי׃ תִּדְבַּֽק־לְשׁוֹנִ֨י ׀ לְחִכִּי֮ אִם־לֹ֢א אֶ֫זְכְּרֵ֥כִי אִם־לֹ֣א אַ֭עֲלֶה אֶת־יְרוּשָׁלַ֑͏ִם עַ֝֗ל רֹ֣אשׁ שִׂמְחָתִֽי׃

[תהלים קלז]

#personal post #not trying to claim that I am in any way affected at the level others are #most other people are way more directly affected than me and I don't intend this to take that focus away from them #this is more of a diary post than anything #but I'm posting it anyway because I suspect others feel similarly and I do think it's one (of many) conversations that should be had #ארץ ישראל #jumblr

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motimatcha · 2 months

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"nostromo"

PART 1. The Nostromo Killer.

parts: one | two | three | four | five

dbd Xenomorph (alien) x fem!reader. attention: not detailed murder, feeling of fear, chase. I'm a vicious child of the internet and I have nothing to be ashamed of! And so are you.

The World of the Essence is multifaceted and large, but even taking into account this knowledge, hardly anyone could imagine something like this. The knowledge of where you ended up naturally appears in your head: the Nostromo crash site is a location unknown to anyone, large and open, with a minimum number of bushes in which you could hide from the soulless eyes of the killer, but you were pleased with a large number of smooth, different-sized stones, behind which, theoretically, you can hide.

You found yourself alone. On one side there was an exit from the monster’s lair, on the other side there was a smoking and collapsing spaceship, which was ready to explode at any moment if a person stepped on board carelessly. Your gaze glances across the sky, and although you know that it is not real, you cannot help but be surprised by its beauty: a large satellite against the backdrop of billions of stars illuminates your path in the darkness.

However, there was not a second to lose if you wanted to at least escape from the Nostromo; the four of them could only hope and pray to the Entity to escape.

There is a generator behind you, two more stand out against the gray background inside the fallen ship - it is better to get rid of this triangle, first of all, without giving the killer an advantage. This was a new trend - a fashion - for the “triangle”, as other survivors called this phenomenon, and it must be said that it was very successful, since not many managed to break this vicious “circle” and escape, at least through the hatch.

Thinking about this and hoping that the new (really new?) killer won’t figure this out, you finish repairing the generator, when at the same second you hear a scream from one of your comrades. Very far away, the aura is barely visible, and you can only see a vague red dot between the opened outline of another generator and the two previous ones. A lump forms in your throat, and cold sweat runs down your temple. The thoughts in your head become chaotic: should you go to the rescue? Continue repairing generators? What if someone has already gone to help and you lose precious time?

You can't take risks in new terrain. You don't know where the windows and planks are to escape the killer, and the limited number of places to hide only makes matters worse. With heavy thoughts, your only solution is to continue repairing the generators and hope that someone will save the wounded man.

It's loud and scary on board the Nostromo. Jets of either hot or hungry steam emerge from all the cracks, sparks are heard from damaged equipment, and blood and its smell will forever remain on board. You walk around a couple of corpses of former crew members, trying not to even look at the cause of their death. Every step you take echoes through the empty corridors, but eventually you reach another generator in splendid isolation. The equipment turns out to be a little more than half wound up; Apparently, before being hung on a hook, someone was painstakingly fixing the local generator.

“Thanks for your hard work…” You close your eyes for a second to show your mental gratitude to the other survivor before getting to work. You're almost done with the generator before you make a ridiculously stupid mistake. Sparks, a loud explosion and nervously shaking hands. - “If only he didn’t come! If only he hadn’t come!” - you pray, frantically sorting through the wires in the generator, just to make up for the lost result.

Somewhere below there is a noise of muffled groans. Man, old man… apparently it's Bill! He was repairing the generator and was able to escape from the killer. A joyful thought crosses your mind, but immediately disappears when the seasoned veteran suddenly falls to the ground from the blow, an inhuman cry of victory is heard.

Heart beats faster, like a cornered animal. Thudum, thudum, thudum, thudum.

You walk away from the generator as if from a red-hot piece of iron, afraid to even look in its direction. There were seconds left before you could finish it to one hundred percent, but the fear for your own life was much stronger. Peering out of a hole in the spaceship's hull, you notice a new killer - a creature from outer space. Moving on four legs, having sharp claws as a weapon and a long tail similar to the edge of a knife, you understand that it is unlikely that anyone will be able to escape.

Bill was lucky, he was the first to suffer.

The creature, clad in a durable black shell, lifted the man in front of him to carry him to the nearest hook. Having seen a lot in his life, the old man did not resist, he himself understood that he could not escape the grip of the Entity under his ribs, and therefore did not delay the moment. With a wave passing through the earth, the Entity took the first survivor into its possession. At the same time, like a ray of hope, another generator was repaired. If you return to fixing your generator now, the three survivors will be able to escape.

That's what you thought. So you set to work with enthusiasm, and then one woman’s scream was heard, then another… and now you were left alone, on the Nostromo, next to the working generator. Going somewhere seemed risky, but you could try to save someone still hanging on the hook, while simultaneously praying that you wouldn’t get caught.

Climbing up the wall on trembling legs, you take a bold step forward. Then the second, third, and so on until you reach a fork: you can go straight to your first generator or turn left, going to the last generator from the triangle where your comrades are hanging. It was impossible to take a detour, if only because you would lose precious time and other survivors, by the time you came to the rescue, would sooner find themselves in the arms of the Entity. You had no options…

What had once been a meeting hall or a dining room was now a deplorable sight, because half of the spaceship was shamelessly destroyed and its fragments here and there were stuck deep into the ground. Having looked around the clearing under your feet and the crash site, you quickly find Claudette’s gaze and a girl unknown to you hanging a little behind.

“No! Get out of here!” Morel screams heart-rendingly before engaging in battle with the entity. “He's behind… behind you!” the last thing the girl manages to shout before the spider-like appendage of the Entity pierced her stomach and lifted her into the air. The stranger followed her.

It was scary to turn around. It seems that if you don’t look at the problem, it will disappear on its own, but in reality you feel and hear heavy footsteps behind you, the grinding of metal from the collision with the tail blade, and breathing. Hot, heavy, wet. The creature stands close behind you, with the skin of your back you can clearly feel the loaded plates and bones of the exoskeleton. Thick saliva drips onto your shoulder, viscous, like glue, and will be difficult to wash off your clothes.

“God, what are these thoughts in my head?” - a thought occurs to you before a nervous chuckle escapes your lips. This is from nerves, from the awareness of imminent death.

The creature hisses, its voice is surprisingly high and shrill, and then next to your head, almost centimeters away, there is an incomprehensible something. Everything is covered in saliva, it turns slightly at an angle, first one way, then the other, and the fangs (God, it has fangs!) seem to bite the air. Or maybe it sniffs like that?

There is no strength left to move. Not when there is a strange something dangerously close to your head, the owner of which is standing behind your back, one of whose arms can clasp your entire body and inadvertently break it. You don't want to check the latter. The creature speaks again, and then you understand – it’s time to run!

The energy accumulated over many seconds passes into the legs. You start from your place, as Meg taught you, and run straight along the stones and pieces of metal. The creature, slightly behind you, ran after you and tried to hook you with its sharp claws; slash across the back, and deep enough to leave scars. And although the latter will still disappear, they will be cured in the world of essence, the feeling of blood on the back, skin torn to the flesh and bones, is not pleasant. You turn sharply to the side, just at the moment when a huge paw whistles dangerously close behind you and rushes towards another, smaller, destroyed spaceship.

Perhaps out of fear, but you thought there was a hatch there.

Luck was on your side. Perhaps the offering in the form of a jar of Vigo worked, or maybe the entity itself decided to take pity on you, but you manage to get to the hatch. And before you fall into the fog, you sneak a second to look behind yourself.

The killer stands motionless in place. The killer is watching. And you understand

It is remembered It is developing.

this paragraph:

This work was written as part of the game dead by daylight, because, despite my familiarity with films, it is simply easier for me to write in the setting of this game. If you're not familiar with the game, but want to read how the Xenomorph does its dark work, you're welcome.

should have been at the beginning of the text. I decided to remove it, don’t ask why.

#dbd x reader #dead by daylight x reader #dbd xenomorph x reader #xenomorph x reader

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mybworlds · 7 months

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Chapter 5: Lessons of trust

Pairing: The Hound x Sansa Stark

Summary: the Hound teaches Sansa how to use a sword, but all they’ll do is argue...

Chapter Warnings: language, violence, blood, almost sexual violence, small description of a rotting corpse

Masterlist

Before to start... thank you to follow me, if you want to be tagged in the next chapters, please let me know! This is the longest chapter I’ve written so please take your time for reading. if you want to ask me smt you can write down here or you can inbox me.

Thanks @vase-of-lilies for the banner

"The sword must be an extension of your arm!" the Hound repeated to her.

Sansa did not know whether to call herself crazy for asking Clegane to teach her how to use the sword or to congratulate herself on the beautiful and useful idea, but most of all Sansa was surprised at how the man in front of her had agreed almost immediately.

"NO! By the Seven Damned Hells, not like this!" he blurted out looking at the wrong position of the young woman's arm "Like this." he told her by going close to her and extending Sansa's arm slightly outward, his movement was firm, but extremely gentle "It's heavy." commented Stark making to take the weapon with both hands "You have to use one arm only, two would only weigh you down. For quick combat, you wouldn't give more than two shots." he said.

"Please be patient with me. I have never used a sword, I was taught that there are knights for that, I did not think there would come a time when..." her voice choked in her throat and Sansa lowered her head.

He called himself crazy for agreeing to teach Sansa Stark how to use a sword, how did he come up with that?

For the seven hells!

He laid a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him for the briefest of moments "I know, little bird, you've been sung so many good stories, but the world is not as the storytellers tell it."

She with her head down nodded "I just wanted to-- I'm just a stupid little girl who was taught stupid and useless things."

He felt a motion of pity, an unknown pity for her "You're a little girl educated to be a ruler, but you're not ready to live in the world. The real one, I say. Not the golden one of castles. Although after all, all this gold isn't even there, it's just a fucking world of appearances, a world where you play at who has more power, who can anticipate the moves of their opponents. Your world, the world you come from is a world of power games. My world, on the other hand, is one of blood, sweat, thirst for revenge and justice. And it is the real one. They are two totally different worlds.

I cannot and will not learn anything from you, but you can learn from me." and it was true, what could she possibly teach him? To make embroidery and lace? To use pretty words?

No, that was definitely not his world.

Sansa looked at him for a very brief moment: she was still too intimidated by those dark eyes and the man's burns; she knew how brave and strong he was with a sword, she should have felt safe, but he still could not convey peace of mind and trust to her.

How could anyone trust a man who killed those who had been his soldiers for money?

Sandor Clegane huffed and shook his head, "Winter will come before you can sustain my gaze. But after all you must watch how I move, certainly not my face! You don't look at dogs because they are beautiful, but because they can fulfill their task.

Mine now is to teach you what I know about the sword. And now let's not waste any more time and resume, which foot do you use the most?" he asked her impetuously approaching her.

"The right one." replied Sansa, backing away just barely, startled by that quick movement.

"Well, if someone attacks you raise your left arm," he continued making her raise her arm, "you block him and use his strength against him. You are small so wait for him to come closer, then push the sword into his body to the hilt if necessary and wait." he added looking straight into her eyes, into those frightened innocent blue eyes.

"What?" she asked.

"Let life leave his eyes." the man replied to her a short distance from her face, Sansa swallowed and then wrinkled her forehead "Don't hesitate, or you're dead." added Sandor moving away from her "And then it would all be wasted effort on my part as well as yours." having said these fateful words, Sandor barely moved away from her and the two resumed their training.

The two trained until almost sunset, then they set out again when the sky was now plunged into darkness. Sansa was exhausted, yet she vowed not to complain: she had already shown too many weaknesses to the man beside her; she did not want to give him further cause to be taunted.

The night birds slowly appeared, some chirping above their heads, others in the distance, the shadows gradually became thicker and more numerous, the river gurgled to their right, a few stones rolled as they passed by on either side of the small hill on which the two marched. Sansa thought for a moment that she found herself in one of Old Nan's eerie stories, only what the girl was experiencing was not a fantastic story with eerie folds, it was real, and it was horrible: Sandor was right, the world is not like the one sung about in the courts. There was nothing spectacular or compelling about what surrounded them.

If anyone had ever sung about the affairs of Sansa Stark, probably no one would have wasted their time in devoting more than a few words to her, they would have surely laughed at her: she did not feel brave, she did not feel valiant. If someone had for real told the story of the two wayfarers, Sansa thought, they would have focused on the massive figure of Sandor Clegane, the man with the half-bruised face endowed with great strength and courage, who disdained the title of knight while acting like one.

Stark seethed as she thought back to the song about Florian and Jonquil, how much nonsense she had been told to protect her and make her believe that her life would be full of love, lavish ceremonies, and lots of laughter. Her life was a nightmare, it would never be like one of those ballads.

"Have you lost your tongue, little bird?" the Hound suddenly asked her.

"No." she answered simply, however she gave no further explanation about her silence, how could she explain to someone like him, to a man who disdained ballads, knights, princely behavior, what she - a noblewoman - was feeling at that moment?

"Then why don't you sing? I remember you owed me a song," the man reminded her. It had only been a few days since they had left King's Landing, but to Sansa it seemed like months, she had forgotten the Hound's request.

"I don't know any songs anymore," she answered him simply.

"You mean it only took you a few bloody days to forget your beloved ballads from your storyteller friends?" he sneered at her. Sansa lowered her head did not answer, she just wanted to remain silent and hear the noises that livened the forest during the night.

"All right, as you wish we remain silent," he finally surrendered.

They walked for two days and nights, and on the third day Sansa found herself praying that someone fighting for the Starks would stop them and take her to her mother and brother, but that did not happen.

"Come." her traveling companion told her, taking her by the girdle and getting her off his horse, "Let's rest for a while here." Sansa saw the place the Hound had chosen: it was a two-story wooden house, the door had been torn off, the windows broken, someone had been there before, and surely - according to the man - no one else would come to such a place.

"Wait here." he ordered her as he entered with his sword drawn to check the interior "There is only one corpse, but it will have been dead for weeks, it stinks." Sansa swallowed "Take off that scared look, dead people are dead. I'll take it out and then you come in." the body was decaying, it stank, Sansa was forced to put a hand over her mouth and nose to keep from breathing in the death-pregnant air that made her feel very nauseous "Come, princess." said Clegane. Sansa looked around, everything was abandoned, the few pieces of furniture inside had fallen or overturned, dust permeated the air of the small cabin, the girl looked toward Sandor "I'll go find a hare or something else to eat. You stay here." he ordered her "And don't let anyone see you for any reason in the world, understand?" Sansa nodded and the Hound walked away.

The young woman took the opportunity to fix her hair with her hands and looked at her beautiful, now worn-out dress, sighed and thought that she would give anything to be in that place at least with her sister Arya, she would know what to do, she would even accompany the Hound to hunt the prey! Arya had always been a sharp little fellow, small, quick and above all always ready for action. Anytime, anyhow. Lace, nice clothes, good manners had never been her thing.

The two sisters looked nothing alike, one had inherited the red hair of her mother from the Tully household, the other had brown hair, the first was submissive, sweet and naive, the other always curious and above all always in the way. The first was sweet and honest, the second very clever and above all quick with words and especially with the sword. By a twist of fate, Sansa found herself going through adventures that her sister Arya should have gone through.

What had she thought of running away with the Hound?

Sandor Clegane could hardly stand her: he had been teasing her ever since he had seen her, he was always asking her for songs and calling her 'little bird,' moreover-knowing how fearful Sansa was, he often asked her to look at him, which she still could not!

The young woman quickly looked around and noticed a sword, the handle was blackened however she noticed two small dragons entwined with each other, the blade was different from the ones she had seen so far in both Winterfell and King's Landing. She turned it over in her hands and at that moment the man came in with two bowls in his hands, they looked at each other for a long moment then he noticed the weapon in the girl's hands and said to her, "Put that down before you can cut yourself or worse!"

"I'm not a child, I know it's a weapon and that it's not a toy!" the redhead reminded him.

"Give me that sword," the Hound told her.

"No, I'm keeping it. I found it."

"Stop acting like a spoiled little girl." he blurted out, setting the bowls down on the table and snatching the weapon from her hands "Only for a few days you've been learning how to use these weapons and this ... is a ... peculiar sword, I don't think I've ever seen a blade so thick and so dark." the man commented.

"Why did you take it away from me?"

"I didn't take it away from you!" he answered her annoyed "Here's your sword, little bird, just stop whining."

"I'm not whining." she replied as Sandor returned the heavy sword to her "It was just a clarification."

"Sure, sure. Now sit down and eat." he said, handing her a bowl containing chicken.

"Where did you get it?"

Sandor did not answer, he took to biting into the chicken with great voracity "Shit, I should have taken a flask of wine too!" he blurted out when the chicken leg was almost finished.

"Did you steal it?" asked Sansa contritely.

"What was I supposed to do? Ask to give me two chickens? With what money?" retorted Sandor shushing Sansa "Could you just say thank you instead of criticizing everything I do?" he added annoyed.

"You are the one who never wants a thank you!" she reminded him "If I tell you, you curse, if I don't tell you, you tell me I should tell you!" she blurted out, leaving the sentence in the void.

"Better a thank you than so many useless words! How would you have eaten tonight, mh? Nobody gives you anything for nothing, the sooner you understand that, the better it is!" he replied giving her another pearl of wisdom.

"You and I will never get along. You are rude, arrogant and ... a thief." she stated lapidarily, then biting into the last piece of meat.

He looked at her for a long time before replying, "But I am the only one who is taking you home. Where is that pretty little flower you like so much now, Loras Tyrell? Why did you follow me then?" Sansa fell silent "Despite my ways, I'm the only one who bothered to get you out of that fucking cage, that's why, little bird." he continued and then resumed eating.

Silence came between the two.

The moon was high in the sky and brightened the entire forest and the rocky expanse in front of the house at which Sansa and the Hound had taken refuge; she stood on what could barely be called a bed; it was hard and squeaked with every slightest movement she made. She tossed and turned in bed. She felt dirty, what she wouldn't give to take a nice hot bath and then to drink cold milk to relax herself!

Since that exchange of words had taken place, neither he nor she spoke again, both of them thinking about the words the other had addressed to him, Sandor, for his part, was not offended, he had spoken his mind, he had helped her escape from that lion's cage in which she was being devoured piece by piece. He knew what it felt like to have everything ripped away from him, first his flesh, then the love of others, to follow property and finally even his name, he knew what it felt like to become a shadow of himself and in her, he saw himself again in a way, he saw again what he had been as a child: an innocent and defenseless creature.

His brother, Gregor, had ripped away first the flesh and then the gaze of everyone around him, no one looked at a boy with a face as ugly as he had, no one, not even a whore, even to them aroused horror. Sandor would not let anyone rip the soul out of Sansa Stark, not a sweet, good, innocent, idealistic little girl like her.

He laid an arm under her head, and thought again, I am better than Gregor, than that monster. He would have already raped and killed her, but I will never touch her, I will never hurt her. I will never disrespect her!

Sandor turned back to the bed on which the little bird was lying and noticed that the position of her body was stiff, she was not sleeping, she was pretending to sleep, the reason for which she was not sleeping, Sandor ignored, but he preferred not to ask what was going through that pretty little head and turned away using his own arm as a pillow and straining to sleep, he closed his eyes.

Sansa, she thought, who had said those words because deep down she meant them: the Hound was a man of manners too arrogant, too scurvy, too fierce for her. However, she had freely chosen to follow him, had seen in him, in that man, a glimmer, the one and only possible way out. The two could never have gotten along, not even in a hundred years!

She remained with her eyes closed, but listened to every single noise, every creak, every rustle, at the slightest footfall she jerked, she trembled, she feared that a Lannister soldier or a shadow panther might kill her at any moment despite the Hound's strong presence.

"Little bird, sleep." a voice, the Hound's, admonished her "You must rest or tomorrow you will not be able to hold on Stranger. You are a too delicate flower, and the slightest difficulty may break you, so sleep."

Sansa turned to him caught in the act "Forgive me...I - I.... I...I don't..."

"Stop babbling bullshit, close your eyes and go to sleep!" the man scolded her.

Those words shook Sansa and at the same time outraged her deeply, why did the man who was only a few years older than her not understand her? Why did he not put himself in her shoes?

Was it really so difficult to understand how she felt?

The next morning when the girl woke up she noticed that Clegane was not there: he was already awake.

She got up and watched the first shy lights of dawn illuminate the surrounding landscape, everything was tinged a pale blue, Sansa breathed hard and closed her eyes, prayed to the gods that they might sustain her through this other day and give her the strength to reach her home in the North.

She went downstairs, the steps as she passed them squeaked conspicuously so that she was afraid for a moment that those might break and cause her to fall. She stepped outside the small house and saw the Hound near a tree with his back to her, he turned his gaze downward, Sansa took a few moments to realize what he was doing and turned away feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Shortly thereafter she heard a rustling sound and ventured to turn her head again toward the man's direction, Sandor Clegane was making his return.

"Good morning!" she greeted him.

He responded to her greeting with a grimace that made horribly contract the burned half of his face and he made to get over it, but then reconsidered, "If you have to...piss, I suggest you to do it now!" Sansa blushed even more "And take off that always embarrassed look! Hurry up we'll be on our way again in a bit!" he barked.

"Could you be a little bit nicer? Does it cost you so much?" scolded Sansa.

A true Lady never gets angry or raises her voice, that had been taught to her. Sansa breathed deeply and went on, striving to maintain a calm, controlled tone of voice, "Please give me a few minutes and then we can continue."

Sandor twisted his mouth, assuming a grotesque expression, but he did not add anything else; he simply walked past her as he entered the small, badly tumbledown house. Sansa - she told herself - would never meet her needs at that tree, never. She did not want the Hound to see her!

She turned for a moment behind her and then advanced along the rocky expanse, she would look for a tree a little more secluded and especially hidden from the sight of the man who, Sansa was sure, was watching her. The girl stumbled several times and even risked falling a couple of times, but eventually managed to reach a tree far enough away from the house and its windows.

As she was adjusting her skirt, Sansa heard some voices and gripped by shame and fear that someone else was nearby and might see her, she hid behind a large bush of what looked like nettles and saw them: there were six of them, they had a banner representing a tree and three snakes entwined around it. Sansa did not remember to whom that crest belonged, however, she remembered seeing it once in the library of Winterfell when as a child-a single time-she played hide-and-seek with her sister Arya.

The men must have been messengers of this household because usually, when there was a Lord or a Lady these would move with a large army to protect them. The reason why they were there, Sansa ignored and did not care. She made to turn back, but in retreating, she stepped on a twig that snapped under her weight and the men of unknown lineage began shouting phrases such as "Who goes there?", "Show yourself!", Sansa turned her back on their voices and took off running, she was now in danger and what she had to do was to flee.

The girl, however, had never been particularly fast, so a few steps and the men caught up with her, shouting, "Stop, bitch, where do you think you're going!" Sansa was thrown forward and lost her balance, hit her head first against a small stone and then against a log, the young woman's head began to spin hard, she was bleeding where she had hit her head, she saw six faces surrounding her and towering over her.

"Who are you?" someone asked her, but someone else exclaimed laughing "I think we’re about to have fun!" others laughed too, someone else retorted "But there's no taste, she's more dead than alive! I don't fuck a half-dead woman!" Sansa groaned in pain, where was the Hound, she thought.

"Little bird." someone called her, but Sansa could not answer, one of those soldiers pressed a hand over her mouth and said, "So you're a bird! Well, let's see if you will entertain us." Sansa took to screaming at that one's hand, she felt a pair of hands touch her violently and come down on her bare legs, they were lifting her skirt ripping it off, no gods no, no please... she found herself begging Sansa, have mercy on me, she wanted to scream, but she couldn't.

Her heart was beating fast in her chest from fear, she tried to kick and managed - she did not know how either - to strike the one who was touching her in the face, he immediately left her bringing his hands to his nose, for a moment the one pressing his hands over her mouth left her and Sansa cried out for help, she made to turn around and get back on her feet, but she was grabbed again and a third person slapped her so violently that the girl had the fear that those gestures might tear her skin off, "Bitch, come here, now I'll teach you manners! " shouted another voice, she was so stunned that she felt as if she couldn't even see anymore, she felt her corset being ripped off and she was pushed on the ground again; she felt someone touching her with the same violence as before, he was scratching her breasts and Sansa felt... dirty, terribly dirty... slowly she started to see again and saw the man's face: it was a mask of hatred, perversion and wickedness.

When she felt the man's fingers touching her in her intimate area, she heard a cry that sounded like a howl, then a figure pounced on the man who was violently touching her, threw himself on him and Sansa was able to breathe almost normally, she did not see what happened because she closed her eyes: she was too shaken to observe.

The Hound had thrown himself on the first slaughtering him, caught the second dropping him to the ground, put his foot on his chest and pierced his neck with his sword, with the third and fourth he duelled simultaneously holding both of them head on and coming out victorious, the fifth and sixth fled. Sandor Clegane in another circumstance would have chased them down and stabbed them against a tree perhaps, but he let them live not before he saw their banner, what the fuck were those from the Land of Aryas doing there? Hadn't their lineage long since died out?

He turned to Sansa: she was in a pitiful condition, her face was redder than her hair, on her cheekbone, under her nose and at one side of her mouth there was blood, her robes were torn. He took his cloak and threw it on the girl who groaned in terror as she opened her eyes; when she realized it was him, Sansa relaxed imperceptibly and threw her arms around the Hound's neck, he did not push her away or have for her words laden with reproach or mockery, he simply let the young Stark embrace him for a few minutes, then lifted her by weight bringing her back to the sort of home they had found the day before.

Sansa did not speak for the next few hours, she was deeply shaken by what had happened, she felt...small, helpless, but most of all dirty, this was not how she had imagined being touched by a man! The Hound made her lie down by making her hold onto the cloak he had given her, and she wrapped herself in it, "I must find a way to treat you, wait here." he told her, she had heard him, but did not reply. She heard only the man's heavy footsteps moving away from her and found herself thinking that her septa, but also perhaps her own mother were wrong about love and knights: knights had done this to her, the one she believed to be a king had had her father and her septa killed, knights are not the ones who are in shining armor, knights are not the ones in ballads.

Sansa felt mocked and wept, wept until she fell asleep.

When she opened her eyes again, she saw the Hound fiddling with bandages, probably stolen from somewhere, and a small wooden basin with water in it. Sansa looked at the Hound's tired, dirty, ruined face; he was bad-looking, but he was taking care of her.

Was this perhaps a true knight? Sansa wondered for a moment, to later remember how much he hated knights and their whole golden world, the Stark could not help but think that that hatred was due to his brother who had taken everything from him and violently taken the title of knight.

She saw him dip a bandage into the water, barely squeeze it and press it against her cheekbone, Sansa jerked, and he exclaimed, "Be still, or you risk turning into a pumpkin!" she looked straight into his eyes, those gray eyes that were in turn watching her and slowly beginning to make her less afraid. She then pressed on her nose and more gently on her swollen lower lip another bandage.

The Hound felt a strange and unfamiliar pity for the little girl in front of her, he intended to protect her from everything, but he had failed, he had failed miserably and all because of his own fault, his own distraction, he had failed in his purpose. True, he had saved her, but now the young Stark was in front of her in terrible condition, she didn't even look like herself anymore, that delicate little bird with the always sweet and kind words, she was silent and bore wounds she never wanted to see on her.

He had been a fucking idiot to think he could take care of another person outside himself, he was absolutely incapable of it, he told himself.

They did not speak, they said nothing to each other the whole time, she just looked at him, did not reply, had neither sweet nor sharp words for Sandor Clegane. He shrugged off his cloak with surprising delicacy for such a mighty man, she did not take her eyes off him, and the man thought that if looks could cause ice to melt, well the Stark could! For the first time in his life, he was feeling uncomfortable looking at the maiden's slender body, that body that had already been beaten and reddened many times, that body now again battered by the scratches of those beasts.

“May I?”

Sandor completely moved her corset away and handed her the wet bandage on the scratches in the furrow between the small breasts of the Stark, she closed her eyes for a moment and lowered them: she did not have the courage to look in the face of the man who was almost silently taking care of her and who was touching her with a disarming delicacy.

She clenched her lips and looked at the great hand of the Hound, once that man frightened her, once she even feared his size, now? She still didn't know for sure, but surely it was no longer the fear she felt towards him when she was in King's Landing, when served Joffrey.

The water burned on the wounds and Sansa moaned softly and then again found the courage to look her savior in the eyes, Sandor did not return her gaze, she observed the half face of the man's that had been irreversibly burned and felt ... pain? Mercy? Compassion?

“I make you sick, right?”

The Hound looked up at her feeling observed, Sansa blushed and her face a little for the wounds and a little for the embarrassment turned red like fire. “N – no.” she replied stammering.

“Don't lie, remember I smell the lie, little Stark!” reminded her “Is your gaze not of regard, or am I wrong?” he said.

Sansa's heart began to beat even louder in the chest “What do you say? I look at you because ... because ...” didn't know what to say, why was she observing him with such intensity?

“I’m all ears!” he added as if to sharpen the discomfort she felt.

“Stop embarrassing me!” she replied looking him into his eyes.

“So, you feel uncomfortable? Why? Why did I touch your tits or why am I too ugly to do it?”

Sansa moved the man's hand away and covered herself at the worst, he had offended her.

“How dare you?”

“Is the little bird used to talk to knights like that queer of Knight of Flowers? Well, you know how I speak and what I do, and if I do something, I do it not because some fucking law require me to! And if you love the rules they taught you as a child, it's none of my business! Since we are forced to be together for this time, I suggest you stop recovering continuously because I don't change for a young lady from the North who venerates knights and gods! Above these rules I piss on!” he ended getting up and moving away from her, just before leaving the room she warned her “Settled, in a while we set off again!”

Sansa shook her head: the two of them would never get along, never.

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riotbrrrd · 16 days

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I think it's both metaphorical and literal, I think it's on a level of "her insane quest for vengeance has removed her from the world" that you can interpret however you want but the way that the game is making it is by saying the epilogue is the afterlife.

The thing that gets me is that this series has characters who are pretty much "unkillable, until". Call that plot armor if you want. But when Ellie gets trapped by the santa Barbara gang and hurts herself, it's not the kind of wound that would kill her. and yet, the game insists on slowing her down, suddenly she grunts when climbing, she limps, the game is trying to focus our attention on it. We're supposed to think that this has really gotten to her.

So, okay, she's weakening by the hour.

Then there's the fog on the beach, the rest of the world disappears. There's just the silhouettes of corpses on gallows, one of which we are made to mistake for abby before we find out she is still alive. But barely. Irrecognizable. OK so the game wants us to think the limit between alive and dead has gotten really thin.

I think at this point it's possible to read everything as allegorical. I think it's possible to read it all as Ellie losing her mind because she is dying, that the last confrontation doesn't happen for real and is just what she wishes was happening, call it hallucination or delusion or something else. I think you can make a point that the beach isn't real, abby here isn't real, Ellie doesn't make it.

But I'm also not saying this is the Real Reading of the scene, I think the main thing is that it's evocative of death, and that Ellie, even if she is still technically alive, has crossed a point where she is entirely removed from the world. She doesn't exist anymore as a person, she doesn't have anything left of her except the vengeance, to a point that has entirely dehumanized her. I think you can also read it as, Abby is dead but Ellie has become so centered around vengeance that she hallucinates a confrontation. The point is, she is not a person anymore at this point, she is a spirit, and she has gone so far as to leave everything behind.

And I think the epilogue, everyone keeps reading it as "Dina has left", because of what she says, that "if you go you'll never see me again". But I think it's supposed to be that Ellie hasn’t actually come home. Ellie cannot come home anymore, because she has removed herself from the world of the living, the world of people who can go forwards. She is (maybe not literally, but metaphorically) haunting the house, like a ghost.

Idk, it's important to me that this is what the story says, that it isn't enough that Ellie gives up on revenge at the last second, but that seeking it out at all has damned her. That's what Dina was really saying. And, sure, this is a story about letting go, so it works if you read the scene as is and as Ellie finally letting go, but it makes a more poignant point I think because she is already too completely consumed. It's also important for me to use these words - dead and ghost and all that - for the dehumanization theme, as something you do not only do to others to treat them as enemies, but something you do to yourself when you enact inhuman violence. And for Ellie, because Ellie herself feels like she's been on borrowed time since the beginning of tlou, and was already coping by turning into a concept, an ideal, the saving of the world, and it is important to me that she fails so completely at trying to be a person in the end. For the tragedy.

#tlou ii

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just-a-random-person24 · 2 months

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STARK'S MIND EPS 23-33 W/ FINAL NOTES I AM FINALLY DONE

Episode 23

“This is going to be as easy as rationalizing String Theory. Which is, not at all.” Freemind 🤝(not liking String Theory) Stark

“Maybe they maintain water slides down here.” Why would Black Mesa have water slides??

Tries to come up with a nickname for the Barnacles and fails to

Starting to enjoy shooting things at this point, definitely not something to be worried about at all

“It's like going for a nice drive, except the tool you're using is actually designed for murder.” Guns are in fact not made for murder and also that is not a normal thing people say

has done track and field before but wasn't that good at shot-put (adequate at best)

Worried about Eli but figures Kleiner can take care of himself

Episode 24

Doesn't know how to play chess

Aliens are now becoming more obnoxious than something he's worried about

Times he hit random switches/buttons without knowing what they do:2

Houndeyes can cause temporary hearing loss!

Apologizes to the corpses of scientists and promises he'll make it up to them

Episode 25

2 songs play in the background! Somewhere Over the Rainbow and Pure Imagination to be specific

Wishes that Lamarckian Evolution was true

Shoots at bugs on the ground, please don't waste your ammo my guy

Also once again mentions wanting a smoke

“I also don't feel hungry anymore, but that's probably not a good thing.” I had to look through so many different causes for something like this, other than nausea things like stress and depression can also cause something like this

As someone mentioned in the comments, all bullsquids are hermaphrodites!

Likes Long Distance Calling, apparently? Would not have taken him for a rock guy

Episode 26

Thinks him talking about his last words is foreshadowing

Little note but I like the sound effect used when putting the MP5 grenade in the gun. It's neat

“I don't even have the motivation to scream in anger.”

Doesn't understand what the guard means by ‘better clear your dance card, slick’ (I don't either tbh)

Just… this entire ending part good god. Love Anion's voice acting

“I refuse to believe they would go this far!” It's the military they would've done worse

Like I mentioned over in ep3, he uses repeated phrases to ground himself (specifically ‘this isn't real.’ and ‘I refuse.’ in this ep)

I think this is the first time in the series we see him genuinely mad

Passes out from the stress and exhaustion he's been experiencing at this point

Episode 27

Weakened to the point he can barely stand

“I'm sorry mom… I'm sorry dad… I should've come over when I had the chance…�� HEY OW??

Fully accepts he's going to die as long as he saves people

He just sounds so exhausted in the beginning part of this ep

“No aliens can make me go deaf.” I mean, not permanently

Doesn't believe he's fighting all the aliens the res-cas has brought in

Sees the military wrote a message in scientists/securities blood and assumes its a cult thing

Another injury mentioned is a bullet wound on the cheek

Episode 28

loses his hearing on the left side (this whole ep made me think my earbuds broke when I first watched it)

“Now they're treating me like an actual threat.” They haven't before?

Ignores the maintenance body to focus on the view

Surface is becoming the militaries base

Episode 29

longest episode of the series (21 minutes)

no intro. Going straight into the episode

still suffering from hearing loss

This whole intro is just, such a good look into his current feelings

He's pushing away his own feelings to focus on saving people

Fly Me to The Moon plays for a bit

It sort of sounds like he's about to pass out while on the tram? (very incoherent and mumbling before snapping back awake)

Cannot tell whether or not he's tripped because of how light headed he is

r.i.p whatever hearing he had left (explosive right to the front of the tram)

once again, phrase repetition (‘I can do this’)

this is about Black Mesa itself, but they changed the line from ‘all I know, this guy's been killing my buddies’ (or smth like that) to ‘all I know, this guy's been killing marines’

I'm just gonna quote the whole line here and then go and talk about the bits I want to cause that will be easier than pausing and going

“You… You gun down unarmed, innocent people without a second thought. You think I'm the one responsible for the bloodshed? But only now are you stopping to think about what you're doing? But your uncertainty is irrelevant. Innocent people are dead because of you. Blood is on your hands. Nothing will change that. And for that, you all deserve to die. And look at this! You bastards tried so hard to stop me from getting here, from launching this rocket. You did everything you could, and it wasn't enough.”

“Innocent people are dead because of you. Blood is on your hands.” It sounds more like he's talking about himself more-so than the marines

“And for that, you all deserve to die.” Like in episode 26, he's just so mad. There's nothing but pure contempt in his voice

That entire line just, feels like a major shift for Stark's character and god I just need him to get therapy

“Me- sorry, Freeman, not getting here.” There's, no real reason to make the distinction? They want Freeman but you're still the one getting stopped

Again, not the episode itself but I really like the weapon holstering animation

Is not even sure that firing the rocket was worth it.

Takes a well deserved rest :)

Episode 30

He is not taking that rest.

Also, not about the episode itself but man Anions voice acting in this ep sorry I really like this ep

Wakes up due to a flashback (I think I hear someone faintly going ‘you'll pay for what you've done’ at the end of it)

This entire episode is just, such a good look into Stark's character

Has his full hearing back

“No matter how hard I try to press on. All I do is… A-All I see are…” He is… not coping

Tried to be the hero so he wouldn't go crazy because of everything

Not going through everything because he truly wants to save everyone, more-so trying to save himself

“I just came here to help my mom…” Oh my god 💔

Episode 31

The sound effects when he jumps off the tram?

Also sound effects for slipping on wet metal??

*Various underwater talking here*

he got his pseudo-bath finally

Immediately panics at seeing a hanging down wire thinking it's a Barnacle

“I'm so glad there's no aliens that are aquatic.”

so, so much underwater stuff

First reaction to seeing the shark (I'm not calling it its actual name) is to try shooting it and blowing it up instead of freezing in fear

Episode 32

Yeah no this room is weird in hindsight why is there a cage suspended in the air in the middle? With a crossbow and ‘tranquilizers’ in it??

Black Mesa has always been flexible with ethics! good to know

“Coping's not universally symptomatic.” I hate to break it to you man but you aren't coping that well either

Vortigaunts electricity isn't strong enough to kill a man when there's only one

He can do a pull-up finally 💖

Gman sighting 🧍‍♂️

“Lifeless cor-...” *kills a barnacle* “Lifeless corridor.” He needed to have his moment

Episode 33

Used to work at a moving company for his uncle Aaron

“Thankfully no one is around to hear this…” Has he been saying everything out loud this whole time???

okok stupid detail I really like is his glasses fogging up when he goes from the frozen room to the warm pipes

introduction to the assassins

“3 body's, technically 4.” What… is the ‘technically’ here? Himself? If he's counting himself then man :(

tbf, full body leather suits would be really inconvenient in practice. Imagine how squeaky it gets

doesn't like breaking promises

“Am I even evoking Occam's Razor correctly?” Occam's Razor is pretty much just ‘go with the simplest explanation rather than the complex one’ so, maybe? idk I'm tired

“I imagine it's hard to issue corrections when your lungs are more full of 9 millimeter bullets than they are air. Wait, is that going too far?” That's definitely not something normal people would say that's for sure!

get bonked

Final notes:🙏 go watch this series. OK no, for real, Stark is such an interesting little creature and it's so fun watching the quality of the episodes increase as the series goes on. Might comes back to these notes when reprise/the rest of the series comes out but, idk. Also there's no way he's getting out of Black Mesa without major hearing damage my fucking god

#stark's mind #mindverse #IT WAS SUCH A MISTAKE DOING THE LAST 10 EPISODES IN A SINGLE DAY #'OH IT WONT BE THAT BAD' I TOLD MYSELF #genuinely it wasnt but man #dont do that

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tobiasdrake · 3 months

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Episode 20 - The Sigh of Haruhi Suzumiya, Part 1

Shit. She's sighing. RED ALERT. ALL HANDS ON DECK. ENTERTAINMENT SQUAD TO YOUR BATTLE STATIONS.

That's a funny way of saying "After Yuki killed Ryoko so hard that her corpse disintegrated." Kyon is narrating so it's not like he needs to keep pretense up.

I think this is for his own emotional wellbeing. He doesn't want to think about the fact that we fucking killed a person. He's convinced himself of the official Moved To Canada story so he can sleep at night.

I'm convinced that Haruhi is neurodivergent. She excels both athletically and academically, but doesn't pay attention in class and is solely concerned with whatever her latest hyperfixation is. I see a lot of myself in her, and not just because she's a self-involved asshole.

HAHAHAHAHAHA The way she gets target lock as she prepares to "accidentally trip" and dump tea on her patsy. Goddammit, Haruhi. Why is this even a thing you want? I don't know. But it's everyone else's problem now. Such is the way of Haruhi.

"Hey, have you heard about SOS Brigade?"

"You mean that one weird social group that meets in the reading club room and pretends to be a club but doesn't actually have any purpose or activity to pursue? Or even a teacher officially sponsoring them as a real club?"

"Yeah, those nerds. The ones who put their marketing everywhere but, so far as I can tell, don't actually do anything."

"That's not entirely true. Hey Kimidori-chan, didn't they find your missing boyfriend that one time?"

"...I don't have a boyfriend. So. No. They did not."

"Oh. Yeah, okay, I guess they are just a bunch of nerds."

She's brainstorming the idea of a movie she wants to film as a club activity. But I like how the camera centers on Mikuru as she says this. Because.

Like.

It's good news for Mikuru that Haruhi feels that way.

Because reality confirms to her wishes. And if she liked that trope then we all know who it would be.

Haruhi finally beginning to become at least a little disenchanted by her abducted trash boy. It's okay. We've all made bad choices.

She didn't, and instead moved on to her plan to make her own movie instead out of spite. But.

Can we have a moment of silence for Uwe Boll or whoever whose house probably burned down or something last night?

I. Don't know about that.

Hope-ful-ly, Haruhi knowing that she's creating fiction means she won't unconsciously manifest it into reality.

But she just put us all through a five-centuries time loop because she was upset that she didn't get to help everyone do homework. So. Like. Can we really be 100% sure that she's not going to pull some Alan Wake shit by doing this?

I mean.

He's being facetious but. Like.

That would work.

HARUHI

HONESTLY

You're not supposed to say the quiet part out loud. That is the subtextual purpose of this club. Subtextual!

Oh thank god those say 'model'.

It's Japan. One cannot just walk into a shopping mall and buy guns. This scene would be very different in an American-made series.

And horrifyingly so because I can think of nothing more frightening than Haruhi with a gun.

NEVER MIND THERE IT IS THAT'S WORSE

#the melancholy of haruhi suzumiya #drake watches haruhi suzumiya #haruhi is my reflection #haruhi suzumiya #mikuru asahina #kyon

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cocobittiebites · 10 months

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Headcanons about the Main Four + Y/N (afab)

I just wanted to preface that this is just my Headcanons and all of this is for fun! If the characters seem ooc mind your buisness and let me live my delulu life. j/

Also for after having a convo with a friend of mine Y/N is gonna be specified at the top of post if their female, male or gender neutral presenting! Also I know Y/N is suppose to be a self insert but I lover writing personalities so heres some head canons that I have for her!

Kurapika

Always somehow smells like rain water and eucalyptus

Though he's tried to preserve as much of the traditions and customs of the kurta clan, he's slowly losing it as he goes deeper and deeper his attempt to avenge them.

Keeps a diary but is never consistent with it (sounds like his friendships)

Has the biggest rbf ever and no one is brave enough to point it out.

Absolutely despised fast food, would only eat it if it was the only option for him.

Has never kissed anyone on the lips in his life and most likely will never (sorry guys)

Has the best skin out of the whole group, he doesn't even do much its literally water and face wash

According to him his phone doesn't work, so he doesn't have Spotify to stream new artist (pls call your friend back). I do believe that he would listen to jazz and folk music.

Says he's above petty shit talking but once you get him going, he doesn't stop.

Up until he started wearing suits for his body guard job he use to hand sew his clothes.

Constantly forgets to get hair cuts and gets annoyed when his hair covers his face.

Doesn't respond to texts or calls. In the groupchat he just reads the messages and its rare that he shows up to the group hangouts

Leorio

Has a consistent smell of old spice and axe body spray

Has a thing against germs so he always has hand sanitizer on hand for whenever and wherever

Needs to be able to read something to learn it, thats why learning nen was hard for him. (apparently writing down knowelege is sacrilege in the hxh universe but whatever)

Hates modern art with a passion, all he sees are splotches of paint on a canvas with an overpriced tag attached to it.

I hate to say is girls, but he was not a feminist until Y/N beat the shit out of him for saying some bs analogy about locks and keys (if yk im sorry that yk). Would have definitly listened to one of those alpha male podcast. Kurapika almost broke his arm trying to hold Y/N back.

Has kissed one girl in his life, but it was BAD like real bad. He kept doing the kissy face (yk what I'm talking about) and gave the poor thing the ick.

Owns a planner yet never uses it.

Music taste is that of a middle aged father: Eagles, Alice Cooper, Chicago, Radio Head

The best gift giver and honestly the most thoughtful when it comes to his friends.

He'll listen to everyones problems. Honestly such a dad.

Biggest gossip, cannot shut his mouth to save his life

Killua

Smells like iron and burnt sage (grandpa zeno looks like he would be into that hippie shit ngl)

Wants to learn how to surf so bad but doesn't have the time

Y/N gave him a fidget spinner as a joke for his birthday, but he ended up loving it.

Only texts in the groupchat via meme reactions. Responds for both Gon and him because they're always together. Either way Leorio is just happy that someone is responding.

Is so judgmental on what you wear.

Thinks he's cool and edgy for listening to green day and panic! at the disco but really its what every twelve year old boy does.

Met Y/N before the rest of the group so now she's #number1trustedadult. This has caused her a lot of problems with the Zoldyck family, especially with Illumi.

Tried flirting with a girl once but in twelve year old boy fashion he ended up accidentally insulting her. He hasn't attempted to talk to a girl ever since.

Has ice cold skin, like touching it is like touching a corpse thats been stuck in the freezer

Bought purple shampoo for his hair because he noticed that the hard water in most places was discoloring his white hair.

Illumi has been blocked on everything except email, so every once in awhile he'll get random emails from Illumi's spam account.

Gon

Our sweet boy probably smells like salt water and wet forest

Has a wildlife analogy or story for every occasion

Killua has been trying to get him to change outfits, but he absolutely refuses to go into a department store after Aunt Mito lost him in one when he was younger.

Will eat absolutely anything edible.

Has a collection of stuffed animals from everywhere he and Killua have been.

He use to feed all the cats on the island. It gotten so bad that all the rodents on the island are nearly extinct because he's been keeping hundreds of felines alive.

The best swimmer out of everyone.

Does not have a specific type of music he likes but Killua got him to listen to the Weekend and they've bonded over that.

When he was younger he really wanted younger siblings because there weren't many kids on the island.

Has accidentally gotten high trying to eat a wild psychoactive plant on accident

Forgets he has a phone most of the time and when he texts back its mostly in emoji

Y/N

She probably smells like lemons and ink (you'll learn eventually)

A GIRLS GIRL (author would write her with the other female characters, however I feel like Y/N would have beef with them due to moral reason)

Like probably has thrown hands with Illumi in multiple occasions for saying that she would make a great Zoldyck house wife.

Really good at puzzles and anagrams.

Horrendously bad at math. Give her a problem more advanced than arithmetic and she's done for.

Has Aunt Mito on speed dial.

During the hunters exam she was paired up with Hisoka during the tower phase and lets say the two have a very (one-sided on Y/N's part) beef.

She's a specialist

got the ick from Chrollo for saying she's not like other girls

listens to all the sad girl artist: laufey, phoebe bridgers, taylor swift, lana del rey, fleetwood mac, e.t.c

Was a camp counselor for a few summers and made friendship bracelets for the whole group.

The only one in the group who has been to therapy (as she should).

Texts frequently in the groupchat, but is very bad at calling back.

#hxh #hunter x hunter #gon freecss #gon freccs #killua #killua zoldyck #chrollo #hisoka #leorio #leorio paladiknight #hxh kurapika #crack #hxh headcanons #kurapika kurta #kurta

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short-circuit-the-great · 3 months

Text

I was tagged by @magic-ace in this post where they wanted me to answer all of them, so here it is:

🎱 ⇢ post your AO3 total stats

🍓 ⇢ how did you get into writing fanfiction?

A classic tale of "my favorite character didn't get enough screen time" led to this.

🌵 ⇢ share the link to a playlist you love

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Give it a 5. I don't mind it but it's difficult to focus on the proofreading side of it.

🛼 ⇢ describe your latest wip with five emojis

🔥🔥🌞🔥🔥

🥑 ⇢ you accidentally killed somebody, which mutual(s) do you text for help?

@magic-ace @mecha-milkers @i-am-an-omen

🥤 ⇢ recommend an author or fanfic you love

I haven't finished it, but Descent by Zakharie.

💌 ⇢ how many unread emails do you have right now?

Zero.

🌻 ⇢ tag someone you appreciate but don't talk to on a regular basis

@brockendrems

🐇 ⇢ do you prefer writing original characters, reader inserts, or a mix of both?

Original characters. Reader inserts aren't for me.

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

I will share one of my favorite taekwondo stories from many years ago because I think it is funny. Two different short dads I was sparring with managed to accidentally nail me in the face with the same kick on two different occasions, months apart. (You cannot hit the face in taekwondo but going for a headshot it happens a lot.) The first time miraculously didn't knock out any teeth but my upper lip got stuck in my braces and I had to rip it out while laughing maniacally. I looked like a corpse for weeks. The second time was straight in the nose, so my nose is still slightly crooked and makes a crunchy noise if I wiggle it to this day.

Both of the dads felt terrible but I was a teenage boy so I thought blood on my uniform was cool.

The "short dad curse" was real for a bit there and the only reason it hasn't continued is because I am now the short dad myself.

🎲 ⇢ what stops you from writing more in your free time?

I don't have this problem.

🍄 ⇢ share a head canon for one of your favourite ships or pairings

Knock Out and Breakdown roughhouse a lot.

🧸 ⇢ what's the fastest way to become your mutual?

Reblog my shit with silly tags.

🪐 ⇢ name three good things going on in your life right now

I'm learning to animate, which is cool.

I'm feeling a little more hopeful about finishing my degree.

My friends are wonderful.

📚 ⇢ what's the last thing you wrote down in your notes app?

I don't use the notes app.

🍬 ⇢ post an unpopular opinion about a popular fandom character

I know better than to share that on this hellsite.

🔪 ⇢ what's the weirdest topic you researched for a writing project?

Typical murder-related writing searches.

🦷 ⇢ share some personal wisdom or a life hack you swear on

I got a small notebook to write tasks in, things I've done, what and when I ate, etc. This has been very helpful for memory loss and blackouts.

❄️ ⇢ what's your dream theme/plot for a fic, and who would write it best?

Don't have one, but one of these days I want to write something more hopeful, something along the lines of a 2010s-era superhero cartoon but as a novel. Don't have a plot for that one yet. It's rotating in my head, though.

🌿 ⇢ give some advice on writer's block and low creativity

One of the best pieces of writing advice I ever heard was "give yourself permission to suck." When you sit down to write you can't be fixated on making it perfect the first time. All your first draft has to do is exist. Anything you write down you can change later, but you gotta get it down first.

🥐 ⇢ name one internet reference that will always make you laugh

My roommate and I keep saying "inch resting" and "ingredience" to each other.

🏜️ ⇢ what's your favourite type of comment to receive on your work?

Any.

🍦 ⇢ name three good things about a character you hate

He makes admittedly funny puns. That's it. That's all I'm giving Silas.

🥝 ⇢ do you lie a lot? what's the most recent lie you told?

I don't lie except for safety.

🦋 ⇢ share something that has been on your heart and mind lately

Grief.

🦴 ⇢ is there a piece of media that inspires your writing?

A few.

🍅 ⇢ give yourself some constructive criticism on your own writing

Don't give my characters enough time to "rest"--it's one crisis after the other. That's the way I like it but someone get em therapy what the hell

🐚 ⇢ do you like or dislike surprises?

It depends what kind.

🪲 ⇢ add 50 words to your current wip and share the paragraph here

She barely made it halfway down to the gallows before something slammed into her, knocking her into the side of the building and shattering a line of windows. The crowd gasped and looked up, and then all Suncatcher could see was shadows and broken glass and the gun someone shoved into her face.

“If you can’t sit back and watch nicely,” Crossfire said, “then you can’t watch at all.”

“Go to hell,” Suncatcher said, and the blades on her forearms snapped out and stabbed into Crossfire’s midsection.

☁️ ⇢ what made you choose your username?

Thought ShortCircuit would be a good pen name for Transformers fanfic. It eventually became a new pen name overall, though I still use NobleRunaway in other spaces.

🐝 ⇢ tag your biggest supporter(s) and say one nice thing about them

@magic-ace @mecha-milkers @i-am-an-omen I love you guys so much. May your pancakes always be fresh.

🌸 ⇢ do you have any pets? if you do, post some pictures of them

So remember when I answered one of these with "grief"

🎨 ⇢ link your favourite piece of fanart and explain why you like it

This doodle of Knock Out because it speaks to me.

🧩 ⇢ what will make you click away from a fanfiction immediately?

I wrote an entire rant and deleted it because the internet can't read. But there is something and it falls under mischaracterization.

#Spotify

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tacticalmaladjustment · 1 year

Text

So the ending, according to the interview, will be something that the realists may take issue with. So let me play the role of the realist for a bit and ruminate how ep 12 could go down (and let's me see just how much i'll end up surprised by the end of episode 12).

How likely is a full-on takedown of the organization? I don't know how large the Suwa organization is but given the sheer size of the Suwa estate shown in episode 8, the presumably large number of people they employ, and the large sums of money regularly circulating in the underworld, I think it's safe to assume that the scale of their resources, power and operations probably rival some real-world mega corporations. What I'm getting at is it seems unlikely to me, as a realist (:D), that 3 dudes will be able to fully take down this enormous, highly-organized machinery by themselves. Organizations like that do not fall apart just because its head or its arms have been lobbed off. It would be a setback, true, but groups of this complexity adapt like malevolent slime molds, and even if Shigeki is gone, it will just grow a new head.

Now, one could argue that all they really need to do anyway is just John Wick their way in, eliminate Shigeki and it's done as far as our protagonists are concerned--he is the only one, apart from Ogino, that is truly relevant to the predicament our family is in and stands in the way of them being free. But who is to say, that once they killed Shigeki off (if that ever happens) that the organization and what's left of it won't turn on them in retaliation. Again, they have the resources and manpower to make that happen if they so choose to post-assassination. And that is not something Kazuki and Rei should have to deal with if their objective is to be a family that has no entanglements with their former lives of crime.

So considering the aforementioned very realistic take (?), if they cannot fully destroy the Suwa hold, they could either ( A ) go beyond its reach and/or slip through the cracks by going incognito or ( B ) change the organization such that it is rendered incapacitated in some manner or is at least no longer a threat to them. Now for some scenarios:

they could all just fake their deaths in some elaborate scheme that Kazuki and Kyu cook up. Yes, this has been suggested by some posts in the tag. The issue i have with this is just how relentless Shigeki, Ogino and the rest of the organization is. Will they just give up when they don't recover any bodies/corpses?? We've seen how dark and twisted these characters are. It's ideal for our 3 adults because fighting would be minimal, but...it feels too easy (???) I can definitely see them though coming up with such a plan, trying to make it work, but then it fails because, uh, shenanigans, and they end up having to fight and John Wick their way out anyways.

Escape to another country. Again, another suggestion that pops up a number of times. Realistically, we don't really know how vast the organization is. Does it have branches elsewhere outside Japan? It's not outside of the realm of possibility that they do have local outposts/branches or affiliated groups overseas given that the work they do has them putting hits on people who presumably travel the world a lot (ep 1 human trafficker and ep 2 drug king pin come to mind). So even if our family does end up doing this...i feel like they won't be too safe either unless they incapacitate the organization's ability to seek them out in some way.

The aforementioned fall under ( A ). As for (B):

A trojan horse. inspired by episode 1 where Kazuki delivered a cake to infiltrate the Christmas party. Here, the cake/bait could be Rei. Or maybe Rei returns home to deliver a "dead" Kazuki to his boss as a sign of his seriousness in continuing the Suwa legacy...Or something, something, whatever to catch the old man off-guard. But this just gets us inside the organization. We still have the problem of actually dealing with it. Of course, they can just kill everyone and everything that comes after them, but will it ensure their safety post-Shigeki?

the police/law enforcement (lol. i mean this is the most crimeless possibility out there). i mean they could get them involved, but seriously, won't Kazuki, Rei and Kyu just end up incriminating themselves? The organization has a lot of info on a lot of people (see all those files that Kyu gives to Kazuki for their missions as well as all the data from recons, etc.). and I'm sure they have files stowed away on all 3 of them. Plus, the police in Japan, in my limited knowledge of the world, don't necessarily even want to have to take head on some crime syndicates like the yakuza for example irl.

From here on, the possibilities are even more...improbable but i include for their inherent wildness. So, no.3: a mutiny. which will be an unforeseen event (i know, totally out of the blue. but then we don't really know much about the power dynamics/struggles within the group itself, so this is some wild conjecture. Anyway, the VA's did say the ending was unexpected). it could create enough chaos and distraction, totally disrupting the group's entire operations to let our family slip through.

leadership change. (may or may not happen as a consequence of no.3) Maybe after Shigeki is disposed of in some fashion, someone (maybe it's Rei, maybe it's some unknown deus-ex-machina relative/minion) who is at least sympathetic to or tolerant (or even ignorant) of the family takes over. in any case, our trio is off the hook.

some equally powerful external entity who has an axe to grind with the organization attacks. I'm suggesting this based off things Kazuki and Kyu have said about the chance that they are on some hit list because of a grudge or some vendetta. I mean the Suwa must have enemies, right? Realistically speaking. Some of their assassinations (like the human trafficker and the drug kingpin) must have made some powerful people somewhere really mad. idk. Anyway, we are yet to see the underworld consequences of these hit jobs.

These ones fall under (B). I would like to add that the last 4 of these conjectural events can hypothetically explain the presence of mystery guy in the anime op (who is yet to be shown).

Honestly, it can be any variation and/or combination of these. or absolutely none of these, since i went with the realistic route and the ending is supposed to be something realists will end up questioning. For all we know, they could go the simplest route: kill Shigeki, get out and then that's it--to hell with the consequences of the organization still standing. We could also just end up with a time skip, skirting around the topic of what went down. Heck, maybe the anime will even dodge fully resolving it at all (and we'd all have to pray for a season 2).

There is one final possibility though, that seems just bonkers to me:

Shigeki actually lets them go following a one-on-one fight/duel, or a deal, or something else entirely.

Seriously, not gonna happen.

#in any case none of these will happen #i just like making shit up and end up totally totally wrong #and yet we try nonetheless #buddy daddies

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kimwexlers-brownhair · 11 months

Note

In Yellowsuccess do you think Kendall ever did coke with Travis trying to get along and show he's not like other billionaires

Omg YES. Plus he'd try to (in his mind) subtly needle him about what he and Shiv and the rest did to survive.

"Yo, I just wanna, like, thank you? For having Shiv’s back out there."

"Sure, man."

"No, seriously bro: thank you."

"Hey man, she had my back as much I had hers."

"Oh, I bet. I mean, I don’t know much. She doesn't tell us shit. Like, we're all flying blind trying to figure out, y'know, just what she went through, how deep the trauma goes...so we can figure out how best to help her, y'know?"

"...okay."

"Look, man. I'm not gonna bullshit you. I'm not that guy. I know you think I’m that guy, but I'm not."

"Right."

"But I really need to know what happened, dude. For Shiv. She acts like she has it all together, but she's living on the edge, right?"

"Hm."

"Look, I'm not an asshole. I mean, I am, but I'm, like, not the kind of asshole you think I am. Okay? Like I'm not going to fuck you and fuck you finding work and get cops to pull you over, okay? I'm not like that."

"Obviously."

"But I could, y'know? Like, you can't know anything for sure. You survived the wilderness, man, but you know what you’re dealing with out there."

"You think so?"

"Look, all I'm saying is, you don't know how to survive us, our tribe. We're all pretty goddamn unknowable, even to people who've made it to the limit. But I want to help you, Travis, I do. Yeah, I can destroy you, fuckin', grind you into the mud and fuck your corpse, but I can also be your fuckin' Surviving Capitalism Messiah, man. You want to make it with Shiv, get my dad off your back, maybe make some real fucking money? I can help you navigate those waters, Trav. 'Cause it can get choppy all on your own. I can make it happen for you. I'm your corporate Santa. But I cannot fly blind. So will you be fuckin' straight with me? Tell me, man. Tell me."

"...You really wanna know? Everything?"

"Hey, I need to know. For Shiv, for all of us."

"Okay. *snorts up the rest of the coke, stands up and looks Ken straight in the eye* "The truth is...the plane crashed. A bunch of our friends died. The rest of us starved, scavenged, and prayed until they finally found us. Thanks for the coke, Ken."

#yellowsuccess #kendall roy #travis martinez #shiv roy #succession #yellowjackets #shivtrav #bleeding to death everything's fine #i got unexpectedly busy so it might be a bit til ch 6 comes out so hope this can help make up for it

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coffee-in-veins · 1 year

Note

The Character Bingo for Damian👀? Also, thoughts on the redesign?

thank you for the ask!

i really should save drafts of those, when will i learn...

here's Damian's dd1 bingo:

frankly, i didn't think much about flagellants since i rarely used them in dd1 the game. i thought about Damian since my dear friend liked him, and he even got a supportive character role in RRR since i can easily see him hunting Bloodsuckers with single-minded religious zeal. he makes a nice foil for a decent amount of folk - Rey, Junia and Baldwin for their religiousness, Tardif for their inability to comprehend their own feeling, Sarmenti for singlemindedness. there's a lot one can play with, genuinely. i like the concept.

in-game, my biggest issue was that my flagellants always failed their very first death door checks despite their supposed high rez (hell, they had martyr's seal and it didn't flipping help in the slightest!), so i just sighed and resolved to a bunch of hwms and jesters for all my bleeding needs.

anyway, here's the same bingo for dd2:

hope it explains a lot, including my attitude towards the redesign. please bear in mind, i don't own the game (and now i doubt that i will unless it gets a nifty sale.. but i'm derailing here), so my attitude is based on text descriptions and three screenshots i've seen.

but if we want to be technical:

as i mentioned above, my flagellants died more than any other class (save for maybe vestals because i didn't play with occ as healers), so seeing literal Death chasing him is frankly hilarious;

i hate zombie characters when they are played as straightforward zombies. if they are more or less creative (fungal artillery my beloved - the yell i let out when i realized what exactly was going on with this thing was and still is priceless), then they get a pass, but you can't get any more zombie-y than a mummified guy who "refuses to die because of his will";

also the snobbery of that statement. i get that it was a magazine interview but just... others are pussies, i suppose, if they fail death check and die? wonder what does it make a non-candlefed flagellant when he inevitably bites an L and dies...

also WE ARE KILLING DEATH; no, for reals. it's Death. not a monster. not some eldritch being. not corporeal demon. DEATH. the literal aspect of it. how? why? since when it's a thing?? we are the motley crew of fuckups and social rejects; yes, they (supposedly) stopped The Heart of Darkness in DD1, but there it was more of the benefit of the estate and the looping nature of the land surrounding the titular Darkest Dungeon than anything, with a dash of Sleeper's time fuckupery and the Heir heavily implied to be cursed to keep the loop going and the Heart sleeping. and then again - you are supposed to lose a minimum of two heroes in that fight. are we supposed to perma-lose someone "Come Unto Thy Maker" style each time we fight Death? I highly doubt it, because Damian will become a liability quicker than he'd appear on a character select screen; here we are supplexing literal "i'm in my horsegirl phase" Thanatos AS A ROAD MINIBOSS; let's see what road minibosses are: a canon, a greedy woman with PTSD from her former expeditions, a pack of bandits and LITERAL DEATH; am I the only one who sees a "what the fuck are stakes" problem, here...?

also also seeing a fanatically zealous character having a move to desecrate corpses/graves is very odd, imo. yes, Baldwin/Leper has one too in dd2 - but in dd2 he is canonically no longer religious;

this is more of my quirk of trying to biologically explain eldritch fuckupery - but if Damian has coherent lines in DD2, this is a fuckup on RH part. he has no lips. he physically cannot speak as a human would, since lips and cheeks are a big part of how we form sounds to make words. if he groans, moans and wheezes only - my bad, you can ignore this point completely;

he no longer has his tooth gap. why? why, RH, why? his CC set trinket is literally Chipped Tooth. his background comic highlights him losing it. and yet his "rotting body" somehow got dental work and got it back...?

I dunno man. much like DD2 in general, i want to love it, i genuinely do, but it feels like... how do i put it. imagine amazon "hollywoodifying" DD1 with absurd stakes and literal "we're the only one who can stop the end of the world with our street magic" and making a sequel based on that and... i just dunno. i want to give it the benefit of the doubt, but the more i see, the less hope i have. huh. much like the game itself does, i suppose. it was a dd2 joke. an attempt to make one, at least.

sorry to end on such a downer note ^^' i hope you can enjoy dd2. i genuinely hope you can, i'll envy you in the best of ways. the game looks amazing and sounds decent, and i wish i didn't detest the rest of it. looking at you, gatcha.

and we end up on another rant of mine about dd2... sorry ^^' i'll try to control myself next time.

#my shoebox of letters #character bingo #Grievings of the mountain || discussing DD2 #i wish i could genuinely like dd2 #i genuinely wish i could - i wanted to love this game so badly #but here we are i suppose

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touhoulostword-journal · 1 year

Text

Blue Goodbyes | Artist: Yumeno Rote

Story 1 "Vile and ludicrous is the sight of the fake tomb and stage made from the corpses of the gods." "Truth" so often is vile and ludicrous, both in the human world and in the gods' world. How wonderful it would be if you could clearly define what is real from what is fake. sigh I'm sorry for complaining. Won't you listen to me a little before you go? It would help take my mind off things. I don't know whether to call Kanako Yasaka one half of me, my partner, or me in a different form… On second thought, I am her and she is me. That's all that needs to be said. In contrast to her, I have a man's name and am a god who features in tales of great bravery. (That's why they are included in the Nishin Yakudaku myths that detail the agreement between Amaterasu and Ame no Koyane.) I heard people like you are referred to as marebito. I can't say I know much about them, so I'm afraid I can't help you on that front.

Story 2 It seems that the Child of Miare is of the opinion that divine spirits should be clearly distinguished from the Yaoyorozu no Kami. But supposedly, her method for doing so was not entirely the same as the half-youkai antique store owner's. …Why do I know those two, you ask? The Child of Miare is the reincarnation of Hieda no Are, is she not? So it's only natural that I know of her. As for the antique store owner, he's one of those youkai who can read the memories of tools, correct? I heard about him from a god who resides in tools since, while I might not look it, I'm also a god with a fairly deep connection to tools. There are other methods for dividing the gods, such as into the Kunitsukami and Amatsukami or the native gods and the foreign gods, but these, too, fail to make clear distinctions. There will always be those who exist on the border, as well as those whose classification differs depending on the situation and conditions you apply. Even the old, outdated gods are complex and intriguing.

Story 3 Divine spirits are said to be ghosts that have attained divinity, as well as the deceased form of those who have become gods. However, fully-realized desire spirits, which originate from humans, and mere god spirit fragments, such as "bunrei", are also known as divine spirits. A singular explanation on this topic does not exist. It may be possible to refer to all spirits that acquire faith as divine spirits. The spirit and the body are opposites, but since divine spirits can possess false corporeal bodies, just as ghosts can, finding a solid definition may be challenging. Using ghosts as a reference point to explain divine spirits could lead you to believe that divine spirits are all gods who were once human. This is because only humans can become ghosts. However, bunrei, natural spirits, and the souls of animals and plants could also be considered as types of divine spirits that, despite not being human, act as if they were. For now, I shall state that both ways of thinking are possible, and neither is wrong…

Story 4 Yaoyorozu no Kami are gods who retain their original power from before they were named… Or so it is often thought. Divine spirits may or may not be included in this definition, with there being explanations for both schools of thought. The explanation as to why they wouldn't be included exists because a significant portion of the famed divine spirits were once human. Humans who become gods basically cannot avoid having names. This is because, given an absence of extenuating circumstances, it's impossible for a praised and respected human not to have a name. With that being the case, Yaoyorozu no Kami, who are not restricted by names and possess almost all of their original power, seem more likely to be gods who were not former humans, or gods whose time as humans lies in the distant past. The layering of history is a purifying force… Some gods may acquire strength by having their names forgotten. But things are slightly complicated by the fact that, if their names are forgotten, faith in them dwindles. This means that a clean distinction, such as "divine spirits are personal gods and Yaoyorozu no Kami are natural gods," cannot be made. In fact, it may be safer to assume "Yaoyorozu no Kami" refers to a diverse group of gods beyond count.

Story 5 "With the gods in Heaven, all is well on Earth." That's likely an example of a theory from the outside world about the existence of gods. Setting aside the necessity for faith, perhaps the gods would be happy with humans thinking that way about them. But that's not the case when it comes to the relationship between gods. Through the spacetime of culture, gods are connected―at times, loosely, and at others, rigidly. The hall of worship is like a shrine's entrance hall. The gods don't live there, but they will appear there when the bell is rung for them. It's also the perfect place to invite new gods in. The gods actually reside in a place called the inner sanctuary. Shrines that appear not to have an inner sanctuary are often built in front of mountains or the like. That mountain then serves as the inner sanctuary, or may even be the god the shrine was built to worship. Speaking of which, Kanako lives on a mountain, not in an inner sanctuary, right? And that mountain isn't behind the hall of worship but in front. I guess she does as she pleases. Everything was made of shintai to form a spiritual structure that is far too special. It's almost like Noah's Ark. But if that's the case, then we are both the planks used to build the arc, as well as the animals that boarded it. That would make the arc's main engine none other than Kanako Yasaka.

#touhou #touhou lost word #story cards #kanako yasaka

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tulu-xuanwu · 2 years

Text

youtube

As promised, here are some stories that I really enjoyed. This is not meant to be a full list of all my favourite stories, but rather just a few of my favourites that came to mind while I was doing the video.

(If any of the authors would rather not be included in this list, please let me know and I’ll remove them)

Lan Wanji/Wei Wuxian

spider lilies to sunflowers by cicer

"Ah! I know!" Wei Ying pointed at the pretty young master. "If I agree to help you in the fight against Wen Ruohan, then you have to give me your firstborn child."

The young man's eyes grew wide. For a moment, he seemed wholly taken aback. Then his expression hardened and he nodded.

"I cannot create life by myself. If the Yiling Patriarch wishes to claim my child, he must first help me conceive."

(In which the "terrifying" Yiling Patriarch strikes a bargain, and winds up in over his head.)

love, in fire and blood by cicer

"You want Wen Ruohan dead," the Patriarch continued idly. "You want his corpse puppets eliminated. You want his halls burned to the ground and his soldiers disemboweled and begging for mercy. Have I about covered it?"

He gave another knife-edged smile.

"But what will you give me in return?"

"We would be willing to offer quite a bit in return for Wen Ruohan's defeat," Lan Xichen admitted. "But I'm afraid we don't know what an immortal such as yourself desires. Please advise us."

The Patriarch waved at hand at the front of the tent. "I want Second Young Master Lan."

(In which the Sunshot Campaign ends through an arranged marriage to the Yiling Patriarch, and Lan Wangji suffers the mortifying ordeal of falling in love with his own husband.)

so take my hand (take my whole life too) by cicer

When the doorbell rings, Wei Ying lunges for it and triumphantly throws open the front door. He looks down, expecting to see a package. But there's no package on the front stoop. Instead, there's a baby.

A real actual live baby, nestled within a car seat. It blinks at Wei Ying, and he blinks back.

Then he opens his mouth and screams.

(In which A-Yuan is dumped off on Wei Ying's doorstep. He and Lan Zhan raise the baby while falling in love.

...Yeah, it's one of THOSE stories.)

[Now that I'm putting all these stories together I'm realising how much I enjoy cicer's work, so I'll recommend to just go and check them out]

Strange Magic by Sabinasan

Lan Wangji’s life is turned upside down with the appearance of a tiny dragon—one that is rather insistent to stay by his side.

Two Weddings and a Family Reunion by scifigeek14

Lan Wangji has a plan to make sure that Wei Wuxian is able to attend his Shiji'e wedding and it requires another wedding first.

Aka: LWJ and WWX get married to protect WWX and the Wens politically.

when you're doing all the leaving (then it's never your love lost) by tardigradeschool

Wei Wuxian barely makes a sound when Jin Zixun’s sword goes through his chest. A tiny noise is punched out of him — half gasp, half sigh. Jin Zixun, wearing that smirk that Lan Wangji has always hated, moves to pull the sword out.

This won’t do; Lan Wangji knows enough about battlefield medicine to understand the principle of keeping the weapon in the wound until a medic arrives. So he does the only thing that occurs to him in the moment, letting the momentum of flight be the force behind the swing; he cuts off Jin Zixun’s hand.

Lan Wangji goes with Wei Wuxian to his nephew's one-month celebration instead of Wen Ning. They still don't make it to the party.

When A-Yuan gets sick and Wen Qing doesn't have the supplies she needs to properly treat him, Wei Wuxian can only think of one place to go for help.

living in my memory/living in my mouth by tardigradeschool

Wei Wuxian dies at twenty-two and doesn’t come back. Lan Wangji dies in an “unfortunate accident” in a temple in Yunping at thirty-seven. The world moves on.

Thousands of years later, Wei Ying and Lan Zhan have a senior thesis in cultivation to co-write on the Yiling Patriarch. It doesn’t go exactly how they were expecting. - “I still do not understand why you were able to read the journal in the first place,” Lan Zhan says.

Wei Ying grins. “You’ll laugh,” he says. He won’t, of course. Lan Zhan doesn’t laugh. But maybe he can swing a smile. “It’s because of the name thing. He wrote his name into the scrambling talisman. So it says that no one can undo the lock but Wei Ying.” He hooks a thumb at himself.

Everyone’s always said his name is unlucky. This is the first time it’s worked out in his favor. It’s not a coincidence either; apparently his mother thought it would be funny. Mrs. Yu had told him that with a curl in her lip, as if it didn’t make him wish he knew his parents even more.

the kite string and the anchor rope by fleurdeliser

When A-Yuan gets sick and Wen Qing doesn't have the supplies she needs to properly treat him, Wei Wuxian can only think of one place to go for help.

Letters to My Partner in Crime by pupeez4eva

Jin Zixuan is hoping that his engagement to Jiang Yanli will be cancelled after his fight with Wei Wuxian. Instead, much to his frustration, he finds himself being forced to exchange regular letters with her.

He is expecting little from this correspondence. The last thing he expects is to be dragged into a matchmaking scheme to pair Wei Wuxian up with Lan Wangji of all people.

i carry your heart with me by lulu_kitty

“Wei-qianbei, I don’t understand. What sort of curse is this?” Lan Jingyi whispers shakily.

He moves aside to reveal a small figure huddled in his husband's robes. A young child, no older than five or six, looking around in both confusion and fear.

Wei Wuxian can’t breathe.

Because the little boy has a Lan clan ribbon dangling loosely around his neck.

"...Lan Zhan?"

Or, Lan Wangji is temporarily cursed back into his six year old self. Wei Wuxian and his family must reconcile with the unexpected feelings that it brings.

To have and to hold by Moominmammashandbag

Madam Yu comes to Cloud Recesses. Lan Xichen is woken to be told worrying news. Lan WangJi does not break someone's arm. It was dislocated.

Jiang Yanli/Nie Mingjue

when the war is over by in_seclusion

Following the massacre at Lotus Pier, Jiang Yanli finds herself a refugee in Qinghe and Yunmeng Jiang finds itself with no alliances or resources to rebuild. At the suggestion of Nie Huaisang, Jiang Yanli marries Nie Mingjue to secure an alliance with Qinghe Nie. The cost? Her happiness. The bargain? Power for Yunmeng Jiang, and possibly Wei Wuxian's life.

Jiang Yanli fully expected a quiet life devoid of warmth and love, but what if she finds both love and herself anyway?

Initiative by nirejseki

Depending on how one looked at it, Nie Mingjue either should have gotten married years ago or didn’t need to marry at all.

Especially not to Jiang Yanli.

Still, when, after the war, she made the suggestion, however circumspectly, Nie Mingjue did not refuse immediately, but agreed to consider the matter.

Lan Xichen/Nie Mingjue

soaring, carried aloft on the wind by Skadiseven

“Xiongzhang,” Wangji choked out, sliding to the ground in front of Xichen. “I love him. He is the other half of my soul.”

Oh. No. Oh, no.

The Beifeng, that mighty empire of the north, invaded more than a year ago, moving inexorably south and east, toppling the cities of Qinghe and Qishan, and now wait, camped outside of Lanling.

In order to buy peace, the chief of the Lan clan has given the Beifeng warlord a gift, his second oldest son in marriage.

However, he did not consult his oldest son, and when Xichen finds out that his brother has been given away, as though he was no more than a vase or painting, he makes a plan. He, too, can give a gift, and he will not regret it.

What he finds with the Beifeng, with the warlord, with the people he meets, and within himself, is not at all what he expects.

[Look, I'm definitely not doing justice to this ship. There are so many good stories for them! But right at this moment, this is the only one that comes to mind. Also, the only story including Nie Huaisang/Meng Yao that I've actually enjoyed]

Lan Qiren/Wen Ruohan

Relentless by nirejseki

“Why are we even here?” Wen Xu groused.

“Yeah! That’s right! Why are we here?” Wen Chao immediately chimed, very obviously taking his cues from his elder brother – much to the latter’s irritation, judging by his immediate scowl.

Lan Qiren knew that he needed to pick his next words very carefully. With recalcitrant students, a teacher only had a few opportunities to really connect with them. If he allowed them to dismiss him or categorize him as an enemy at this early stage, it would be an incredibly uphill battle to gain enough respect in order to teach them anything, and in this case, given the strength of their background and the fact that this little teaching session was both likely to be short and definitely completely unauthorized, it would quite possibly make it completely impossible to ever get through to them.

“You are here,” Lan Qiren said solemnly, each word slow and thoughtful, “because your father is an ass.”

(a story of kidnapping and falling in love, reluctantly)

[There are a few more, but I can't seem to find them at the moment. However, nirejseki has a few Lan Qiren-centered stories that are really fun]

#the untamed #wangxian #nielan #mingli #whatever it's the name for lan qiren/wen ruohan #my recs

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