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absolutebl · 1 year

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This Week in BL - New & Old Tropes Galore

Entirely subjective yadda yadda. Organized sorta by favs in each category.

Sept 2023 Wk 4

Ongoing Series - Thai

I Feel You Linger in the Air (Fri grey) ep 7 of 12 - occasionally I forget that Yai is like 20 and this is his first love affaire. That poem bit gave me very Goethe vibes. Lots of doomed lesbians in this ep. Doomed love in general. Frankly? I was hoping for more oil less sad. Also, these two are making some v stupid mistakes. Also: MORE boys dancing.

Finally... who was it wanted a rain kiss? You got your rain kissing here, okay? No umbrellas to be had, apparently.

Dangerous Romance (Fri YT) ep 7 of 12 - I love them so much. They are so darn adorable. I like how forthright Kang is. Boy has no game and is such a dork but at least he's enthusiastic. I love the “my boyfriend smells good” trope that BL is into these days. I’m into it, too. The bff enemies drunken bathroom shenanigans was v funny. Also @heretherebedork your boys are couple dancing all over the damn place this week.

I guess we get the boyfriends ep next week?

Hidden Agenda (Sun YT) ep 12fin - The conflict really kind of wasn’t in this last ep. But I guess it was a fine, if not a particularly strong, ending. I wish we’d had the family conflict threaded throughout the series. It would have felt like a deeper more honest drama and the actors could have handled it. They’re ready. How pretty were Joong’s single picturesque crystal tears? Honestly, it's been lovely, boys. Not at all memorable, but lovely.

Quick pitch Hidden Agenda:

A relatively simple and harmless old-fashioned style university Thai BL, that started out Cyrano de Bergerac style but then drifted away into forgetfulness. It felt like it could have fit into the En of Love universe, except that it was high quality GMMTV with very pretty makeup. I enjoyed it for what it was, it's just that wasn’t much. 8/10 RECOMMENDED

Naughty Babe (Sat YT) ep 5 of 8 - Am I mostly watching this for Est and annoyed he doesn’t have a pair? Yes. (Am I writing a whole revenge plot in my head: "seduced to the good side by my enemy's hot bodyguard" with him and the Tem character? Yes. Yes I am. But that’s way too KinnPorsche for this show.) That said, MaxNat really are a great pair. Nice that Dio is figuring out how evil his own family is. Weirdly, I kind of like this speculation that if gay marriage were legal rich families would use it for arranged-marriage power plays. Can you imagine what China would do with this concept if they had access to it?

Love in Translation (Sat iQIYI) ep 7 of 8 - The morning after was sweet, I do like it when we get these scenes in BL. FYI no one misgendered Bojji except the caption writer. The screaming "discovery" scene was adorable. And I am very much falling in love with all of the side characters. I also love how aggressive Yang is, like he stepped out of a 2016 Chinese BL into Thailand. And I adore the main brother relationship.

I have to say, this is going to be a difficult BL for me to review. I didn’t like the first 4 episodes but it seems like I’m going to love the final 3. I’m actually really looking forward to the finale next week. Boy, do I feel strange about this. In other news, is it just me or is it weird to get a gay kiss from Ngern almost 10 years later? How late is too late for smooching a boy?

Never too late...

Absolute Zero (Thai Weds iQIYI) - from 2021, Studio Wabi Sabi and New Siwaj finally brings us this “time loop to prevent tragedy” romance based on the novel of the same name. I think we can expect this to be sad (so it will likely slide down my list as I become more confident about this). Mix is a great actor, so I’m not worried about that aspect, but I am warning you this won’t be your classic fluffy Thai BL. It’s a bit slow moving for me so far. Meanwhile, a revelation:

Thai high school BL is all about the hands. I blame Love Sick.

FYI the outdoor movie they watch is Love of Siam Thailand’s first real queer movie, also featured in My Only 12%.

I'm in trouble, Ongsa is such a sunshine cutie and Sansoon is so lost and sad. Pretty sure I won’t have the patience for 12 episodes of this, but I’ll stick with it for now because a pair like this is yaoi-induced catnip for me.

Only Friends (Sat YT) ep 8 of 10 - Ah, Ray, baby, you can’t get what you want if you want the wrong thing. Also, corruption charges much? Is Ray turning into Ton or is that just me? I still hold that Jenny’s is the only story I actually wanted. Although, I did enjoy the two bi boys bonding over Freddie. GMMTV sure is making good use of Title now that they got him away from Wabi Sabi and I’m NOT mad about it (4 shows & counting). Under ordinary circumstances, I probably would have dropped this show by now. But something keeps dragging me back.

My Universe (Sun iQIYI) Right Time Right You ep 6 - This couplet ended up feeling like an amateurish short. It was interesting in that way shorts can sometimes push into unusual territory, but very slow. My favorite so far, but that’s not saying much since we've only had 3. Kinda amorphous ending. 5/10 watch it if you have nothing better to do. Next week's looks pretty but silly: You Are My Soulmate.

Venus in the Sky (Tues iQIYI) 5 of 10 eps - I don’t understand the bit with the girl, car & eyebrows. Was that all just ad copy? This show is so bad I’m mostly fast forwarding now. I mean the leads are cute and earnest but that’s it. NO SINGING! And... nothing happened this ep.

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Kisseki: Dear to Me (Taiwan Tues Viki & iQIYI) ep 7-8 of 13(?) - Buckle up I got A LOT to say. Ep 7 was the boyfriends ep! Look there’s a a lot of problematic going on here by western standards: age gap (FYI age of consent in Taiwan is 16) + teacher+student, but if you’ve been reading this blog for a while you should know that Taiwan likes both high heat and taboo content (and so do I) plus (unlike Mame) they just lean lube into those kinks. And I, for one, am delighted. I talk about taboo in terms of age gap here and stepbrothers here. I’ve never done teacher/ student because we don’t get it often enough (insert sad face). These are not things that I’m going to complain about or rehash, so, moving on...

I found a lot to love about ep 7: tie grabs, smiley kisses, communication, being held down, younger aggressor, AND preliminary research= all good things. They even brought in morning aftercare, and shared trauma! I love a show that’s both unexpected yet entirely classic Taiwanese BL. I love that the family appeared as a plot device and then disappeared again. It’s all highly amusing.

Gaga dropped ep 8 a week early, I’m assuming this was a mistake since they skip next week. But hey!

Ep 8: def uhaul lesbians. Also cute queer fam moment. Ring finger biting = v hawt. Then of course it all goes south. Tres romantic means of taking the rap, gotta say. No one does gay sappy quite like Taiwan. Also, now we know why he loses his memory and Ai Di has to go in after him. Honestly, I’m not pleased to see yet another amnesia trope raise its ugly… head (why so many this year?). But it seems to be this year's trend.

And I know there is more trauma coming, but in classic Taiwan fashion it’s all gonna be fine in the end even if that HEA is chaotic and entirely unearned. Don't worry, all. We good.

You Are Mine (Taiwan Fri Gaga) eps 4 of 10 - Oh noes, sunshine has a cold. And not from the rain... just, like, a normal cold. Amazing. But then when baby gets kidnapped, daddy gets v mad. Honestly, I am charmed by the show. It is very old-fashioned "domineering CEO puts little lady up against the wall" and it’s Taiwan, and thus I am not mad about it. This is what we would be getting from Mainland China if China we’re still making pulp BL. I am disposed to simply enjoy the utter "80s bodice ripper but gay"-ness of it all.

Bon Appetit (Korea Weds iQIYI) 1-2 of 8 - from 2022. If you have premium icky VIP you can binge it all now. I don’t, so instead I’m watching it 2 new episodes every Weds. Struggling heartbroken loser-ish office worker who lives off junk food + sunshine neighbor who loves to cook (from his past with a long-held crush). Also there is a "love class" element. Why does Korea like this conceit so much? Do their universities really engage in socialization training? Gotta say I’m getting whiffs of stalker... but only whiffs. Basically, this show is going poster child “way to a man’s heart is through his stomach“. Bit too much flashback, but I like that our chef is open about liking a boy, and I like that they remember things differently and in alignment with their own egos. And I like that we got a confession already. Ah KBL, it is nice to watch something that MUST move plot quickly.

My Personal Weatherman AKA Taikan Yoho (Japan Sat Gaga) ep 6 of 8 - Jealous weatherman is ridiculous. Japan = queen of “why don’t you guys just talk?”

Mr Cinderella 2 (Vietnam Sat YT) ep 2 - Ba Vinh & Minh Thao reprising their roles as Dung & Khoa what do we think? 8 eps? 10? We got the stepbrothers (or whatever they are) backstory. Also My Prettiest Cat-boy does certifiable nutcake v well. Psychopath looks hot on him.

It's Airing But...

Crazy Handsome Rich (Sun Gaga) ep 3 of 10 - The sound. No. DNF

I Cannot Reach You AKA I Can't Reach You AKA Kimi ni wa Todokanai (Japan Tues Netflix-Japan & ????) - Adapted from the manga, childhood best friends: The cool, smart one who’s good at everything, and his average, dorky friend who struggles. Always by the other’s side, but not together in the way they truly want to be.

Unfortunately I Cannot Reach You, in classic JBL fashion, could not be reached.

In case you missed it?

Viki dropped Our Dating Sim the movie. I didn’t notice any extra footage and they took out all the in game/high school flashback stingers. At first, I didn’t really miss them but by the end of the movie I really did. So this is going to be one of those rare KBL instances where I recommend sticking to the original series over the repackaged movie.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Upcoming October BL

10/1 Can I Buy Your Love From A Vending Machine? AKA Sono Koi, Jihanki de Kaemasu ka? (Japan cinema release in-country only) - This one is a movie from Japan so in customary fashion who tf knows when (or if) it will get international distribution. Salaryman Ayumu Koiwai just can't tear his eyes away from the strong, muscular man as he checks on the stocks of the vending machine in his office.

10/5 If It’s With You AKA Even If I Fall In Love With You AKA Kimi to nara Koi wo Shite Mite mo’ (Japan Gaga) - from MBS a live action adaptation of Kubota Maru’s manga ‘君となら恋をしてみても. Amane has stopped loving people due to trauma until he meets Ryuji. At first Amane just wants to play with Ryuji but… feelings. I am assuming 8 eps and rumored to be taking Weatherman's spot so that date is likely wrong.

10/6 What Did You Eat Yesterday Season 2 AKA Kinou Nani Tabeta? Season 2 (Japan Gaga) - 4th installment in this series (1st series, 1 special, 1 movie prior) about a lawyer who lives with his boyfriend, a hairdresser, and cooks for him. Season 2 will follow the couple as they enter their 50’s. Slice-of-life drama adapted from a beloved manga series of the same name.

10/6 My Beautiful Man: Eternal AKA Utsukushii Kare Eternal (Japan movie Viki & Gaga) - This is the 3rd and final installment the series. The 2nd season didn’t blow me away the way the 1st did, but I still liked it. I'm looking forward to the finale. I hope we get character growth for a change.

10/31 SHADOW (Thai VIU ????) - this is a horror BL featuring ghosts and other paranormal elements in a high school setting. I'm not wild about Thai horror (or horror at all, but if it must be done in BL let Japan do it). It features Singto (who did paranormal BL He's Coming to Me) opposite Fluke N (who's done a couple horror's before). Also Fiat. Dan suffers from sleep paralysis, and in his dreams he sees a shadow that suffocates him. It gets worse when he transfers schools.

October? Bump Up Project AKA Bump Up Business (Korea ????) - BL staring OnlyOneOf that released(??) as a movie in July but is now being recut and reissued as a series. Stars NineMill and from Idol Romance bulled as a love story between a trainee who is about to debut and a celebrity from the same agency (based on a webtoon). OnlyOneOf have been auditioning for this since Libido IMHO. You can watch me chronicle their BL MV work in this post. Idol Romance will do sad but can do good kisses (Wish You, Nobleman Ryu, Once Again, Kissable Lips, Poongduck 304, Tasty Florida, Tinted With You) but I don't think we will get any in this. After that OmegaX Shoulder bullshizz buisness I am very wary of this show.

2023 forthcoming BL master post (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED).

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

There was a ton of truly great stuff in this week's Kiseki, but this was hands down my favorite. (Pun intended.)

Oh and the neck kisses of course.

I LOVE HIM your honor.

GMMTV's ongoing love affair with the scent trope.

Calling out out new couple's dance trope. (Both Dangerous Romance)

(Last week)

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starseneyes · 2 years

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Chenford REWIND- Lucy Chen / Tim Bradford - The Rookie - Season 2 Ep 10, 11, & 12

This feels like a lot to put into one Meta. But, since I'm chunking these out and taking requests, it makes sense to me. Yes, "Day of Death" is a defining Chenford episode. But I feel like you need the context of what lead up to it and the fallout on the other side to fully understand its impact and discuss it.

SPOILER ALERT: If you don't want to be spoiled, you don't want to read this. While I do write these as though I'm watching the episodes for the first time and try not to let fore-knowledge come into play, I will be spoiling these episodes in their entirety and everything that came before.

All squared away? Alright, lets dive in.

The Dark Side

"The single men in LA suck. Every time I go out on a date, and they find out that I'm a cop, they just get scared off." ... "Look, those aren't men. Those are boys, okay? Real men are not afraid of strong women."

Heck, yeah, they aren't! Lucy, honey, I get that it's tough out there for you, right now. But someday there will be a single man in LA who doesn't suck and isn't afraid of strong women. You'll see.

But right now, you're looking for anyone who isn't a total dud, and I get that.

"...dating a civilian is a bad idea." "I was told dating cops was a mistake. What am I supposed to do, join a nunnery? Sister Office Lucy Chen?"

I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything the first time I heard this line because there would have been soda everywhere. My husband heard the line over my shoulder and cracked up, too.

And you might be thinking, "Why is she going into all this? Tim and Lucy are nowhere near ready for romance". Welp, I want to show Lucy's mentality in this episode and will explain once we get to 2x11 how it feeds into the situation and the mis-read from Tim.

"Look, no, I'm saying that right now end of shift means leaving the job behind when you go home. But in success, each one of you is gonna catch cases that kick your ass, that consume your every waking thought. And non-cops won't be able to identify. Worse, they're gonna resent you for caring more about the dead than the living."

It's an interesting thought, and for those of us in Season 5, there's a lot to consider, here. I mean, Lucy was cautioned against dating cops, but Isabel and Tim were Rookies and nobody gave him crap about it, from what we know.

Look, I'm not sorry Lucy and Nolan broke up. But, I do think Lucy should consider dating another cop down the line. *cough* Tim *cough*

"Caleb." "Lucy."

It's a chance meeting at the right time. Lucy is on the hunt for a non-mutant man in Los Angeles, and she ends up at the bar with someone who seems semi-safe.

After the conversation she just had with her friends, we can see she really wants to be with someone.

"I was in college when they found the first victims. It was all anyone talked about. That, and how could a woman be so barbaric." "I worked one of the scenes, fourth victim, Lisa Cruz. Homicide detectives warned me not to look at the body. Should've listened."

I love how they're speaking to one another so openly about the whole thing. There's an ease to how they're walking side-by-side that feels lived-in. Yes, he's still her TO, but this is a glimpse at the other side of him—the one that knows how to have a conversation without screaming or scheming.

"Caleb, from the bar last night... I hope this isn't weird, but you left with your perp before I had a chance to ask for your number."

Tim is giving this guy the side-eye. Look, we are nowhere near romance for this pair, but Tim has come to care about Lucy. He wouldn't call her a friend, yet, but they're definitely on their way.

And Lucy's picking up on Tim's hovering, but I don't think either of them could pick up on the why. My husband swooped in to offer his opinion that Tim picked up bad vibes, but wrote it off because it made him look jealous. I don't think he's far off.

I think Tim was being a little protective. Not necessarily because of romance (everything with Isabelle is very fresh at this point). But, while Lucy is still his "Boot", she is crossing that line more and more towards "friend". Tim cares about what happens with Lucy.

He's trying to watch out for her, but she doesn't want a chaperone. For goodness sake, she's a grown woman, right?

"We don't call them perps." "Right, sorry. Anyway, this is my number. If you ever feel like waiting in vain for a drink, give me a call."

Tim Bradford with the save!! He snatches that tiny piece of paper so fast the camera barely catches it. That's a super hero, my friends.

"You got a last name, Caleb?" "Yes sir. Wright with a W." "What do you do? If you say screenwriter, you're going in a cell."

Lucy's horrified. This might be the worst thing Tim has ever done, in her mind.

Remember, at this point everything with Tim is a test. Everything could be used as subterfuge, and she can't trust what's he's going to do with the information he's gathering.

"I manage a medical supply company downtown." "I'm sorry about him. Things are a little crazy right now." "No problem. It was nice meeting you. Officer."

Tim gives her a "can you believe that guy" look, but she has that same energy directed at him. Tim's surprised by that. He really thought she'd appreciate him looking out for her.

She holds out her hand for her piece of paper, and Tim hands it over as she mouths, "Oh my god".

"Ten bucks that isn't even his dog." "It's been an awful day. Can't I just enjoy a cute puppy?"

Tim's getting a look into how Lucy unwinds and relaxes. All day, she's been sneaking glimpses at Caleb's socials to get a feel for him, and it's helping distract her from the no-good day.

Tim of this era hasn't yet learned how to help Lucy talk through things. But he has learned that Lucy and distractions work well for moderating her panic.

Think of the episode with the nuclear bomb and how they spent the whole episode talking about how to sabotage her ex's wedding. Distraction helps her.

"If I can be wheels up in the next 10 minutes, I might beat the afternoon traffic which means I will be in bed in the next hour."

I love how conversational they're being here. You can already tell the lines of TO and friend are starting to blur.

"That's a mistake." "What? Why?" "Look, after working a hardcore assignment like this, you need to go blow off some steam after shift. You know, give your brain a different focus. It's the only way you have a fighting chance of actually sleeping."

This isn't a Tim Test. He's trying to give her advice. Keep this in mind, my friends. It'll come back.

"As my Training Officer, are you saying that I should go get a drink?" "A strong one. Maybe even with another human."

Tim is really trying to do the right thing, here. He snatched away Caleb's phone number earlier, but Lucy's been cyber-stalking him all day and she looks interested.

"Well, I am here to distract you."

I swear I didn't remember that line when I wrote the part above about Lucy needing a distraction.

And we all know that what started as a distracting night led to a nightmare for Lucy.

Before we move on, I want to talk a little bit about Season 2 Tim and Lucy. I know a lot of people love what DOD does for Chenford in terms of progression. But I argue it doesn't cause the shift, but only expedites it.

Look at Tim in this episode, for example. He's downright conversational and friendly with Lucy. Yes, he tells her to get her head in the game instead of looking at Caleb. Yes, he teases her about her first Decomp, but that's the extent of it.

He talks with her openly and honestly about Rosalind. He tries to protect her from Caleb when he thinks the guy's just an unworthy suitor. He tries to give her advice at the end that isn't attached to any "lesson" but simply sharing what he's learned.

Frankly, I think that's what Lucy expected in a TO—someone to talk her through and give her sage advice. And then she got Tim.

Tim doesn't hand out advice willy-nilly. He's a "show" guy, right? Same thing with how he teaches. He's not much of a "talker" with Lucy when it comes to her training. He's trying to get her to think for herself by putting her through her paces.

But this whole episode, he's talking to her. Heck, he's talking with her. Tim doesn't make friends with his Boots, but Lucy is becoming the exception. They aren't there, yet, but they're on their way.

If we look at this episode separated from DOD (if we can), you can see that Tim and Lucy are already moving towards friends. The events of DOD expedites it, I argue, but they would have eventually gotten there on their own. Tim and Lucy are inevitable.

Day of Death

"My day of death."

The pain of a tattoo. The hangover of whatever drugs he gave her. The inability to move her limbs or fight back. Trying to take note of her surroundings, of anything that might be helpful if she can get away.

And that horrible fear that she won't.

"Sergeant."

It takes Harper two seconds to clock the conversation between the men, and she's the first to jump on it. Why? We'll get to that next episode.

"Lucy did not come home last night. She's not responding to texts or calls." "Did she go out with that guy? The one she met at the bar. Caleb Wright with a W."

He remembers it clearly, but he's trying not to panic. After all, his first date with Rachel was *ahem* memorable. Maybe Lucy moves at that same pace?

"Lucy doesn't do one-night stands." "And she's never late."

Her friends know her well, and Grey's smart enough to run with it. Let's be real, there are scenarios where a Sergeant might not listen, might not take it seriously, might not actually do anything.

This is television, and we're not going to let Lucy Chen go quietly into that good night. But it hits me so hard that there are so many cases where alarm bells are rung and left unanswered.

"Why are you doing this?"

Lucy's trying to keep her head in the game. That's what Tim told her to do last episode, right? Keep your head in the game.

"It's for you. To force you to face the truth of your death. It's the gift of something we rarely get in life—clarity."

Fuck you. I'm sorry. Lucy's thinking it and it needed to be said.

"... we believe Caleb is Rosalind's protege, and he took Officer Chen."

The news slams into Tim. And nobody else in the room sees it or knows why. He doesn't even wait to be dismissed. He rushes out of the room, phone dialing before he makes it through the door.

Because this is too much for him to handle. Tim has tried to handle a lot of things on his own. He's famous for isolating himself and trying to pretend he's fine. But this time he calls his best friend. Because he can't do this alone.

"Lucy's been taken. I need you." "On my way."

"Lucy". Not "Chen". Because in his mind, Lucy is already becoming more than a Boot. No, we're not talking romance, here. We're talking friendship. Kinship. Someone he cares about.

Tim Bradford has a very short list, so the fact that his Rookie is close to making the list is significant. But I'm not one who thinks Tim's romantically interested in her all the way back in Season 2. This thing's grown organically over time, though I'd argue DOD gave it a push, as did certain other episodes covered in Future Metas.

"Look, I know I haven't known Lucy as long as the rest of you, but I do know that she's a fighter."

Hell, yeah, our queen is!

"She's gonna do everything she can to stay alive until we save her."

And she does. She fights like hell and does everything she can to survive. But she's weak. She's lethargic. She's drugged. And she's isolated. Utterly alone.

Imagine that moment of fighting your way out, hoping that there'll be someone to hear your voice, to come to your aid, to get the help you so desperately need... and there's no one.

How much of the fight can you keep alive when you realize how little chance you have of surviving?

"... I can't just sit here."

Here's more of a "show" guy. And there's nobody to show.

"I'm fine. Just blowing off steam."

What he told Lucy to do. What he thought would be safe. What he thought would be relaxing. What he thought would be distracting. What he thought would be fun.

He's not blowing off steam. He's a pressurized gasket ready to explode.

"I get it, but you gotta get your head in the game." "I don't need a pep talk." "Then why'd you call me? Clearly you need to get something off your chest."

Tim forgets the power of words, sometimes. We see it a lot through the season. Maybe it's because he never learned how to use them growing up.

FAST FORWARD: We're a ways away from Season 4 and Tim's backstory episodes that help illuminate just how bad it was for him. Tim's father didn't use words. He used his fists. His mother likely didn't use words, either. They didn't talk about what he went through. He never learned to express himself that way. It takes someone coaxing it out of him, and right now that's his best friend.

"She wanted to go home. Okay? Go to bed. I told her that she should focus on something else. She went out with Caleb because I told her to."

And he's carrying the weight of that guilt. It's too heavy for him to bear. Tim Bradford has carried too many weights, and this one is too much. Did he doom his Rookie to die?

"You couldn't have known."

Angela's whole attitude shifts (how could it not?) because Tim Bradford is expressing emotions with his best friend. And that is huge and this whole thing is horrible.

"But I should have. I'm a cop. I was standing this close to the guy, okay? Right across from him and I never saw him coming. But she did, though. She... Some part of her didn't feel right about this whole thing. She hesitated. And I pushed her right at him."

He's wrong. It has to be said that Lucy might not have gone out with Caleb that night, but it could have been another night. Tim only thinks this because of his own guilt, his own pain, his own frustrations with himself for not being Super Cop.

Lucy wanted to go out with this guy. Maybe she wouldn't have gone out that night without the push. But Caleb was a serial killer, and would've put her on his list sooner or later... and more women would have died in the meantime. It's not Tim's fault any more than it's Lucy's.

He thinks he failed Lucy, but this isn't a situation where you can predict every move. We're not going to victim-blame here. We're not going to point fingers.

Because minus the serial killer plot, this shit happens every day. Around the world, there are people whose drinks are spiked, people who are abducted, people who have their choice and consent ripped from them.

And it's not the victim's fault in any way. And it's not the fault of a friend who suggested they have a fun night out. It's no one's fault but the asshole who perpetrated the crime.

Getting off my soap box, here, now, to get back to the Meta. But watching Tim go through this reminds me of how I still struggle with blaming myself for a friend of mine OD'ing because I didn't reach out to them that night.

What if I'd reached out? What if I hadn't ignored their vague Facebook post thinking that I'd only be adding to their frustrations and that they needed the night to cool off? Would they still be here if I'd commented? Or sent them a message? I'm a state away, so I couldn't reasonably drive... but could I have done something that would have meant they'd still be here?

I know I can't blame myself. But there are some days I still struggle with it. Because she's gone. And I'll never ever know if I could have helped. Cognitively, I know it's not my fault. I couldn't have done anything, but there's that part of you that still thinks... you made the wrong call, and if you'd called it the other way, it might be different, now.

"If I get that away from you, it's going right in your brain."

She kept her head in the game. She's up against life and death, here, and she's at the disadvantage. But she's a fucking fighter. Look, we know that Lucy is tough. This is something else entirely. She's staring down the murderer who wants to hear her scream, who wants to soak up her agony, who wants to get her to crumble.

And Lucy Chen's standing up to that asshole with the ultimate, "Fuck You" by not giving in.

She must want to cry. She must want to scream. But Lucy Chen is a fighter, and she's not going down easy.

Lucy Leaves a Clue

It's a long shot. It's such a bloody long shot. But she has to try. Lucy truly believes that she will be found, long shot as it is.

And that hope can be a powerful thing. Caleb tried to wield it against her, but he's no match for her.

"Any last words?" "Yeah. You're gonna be dead long before I am."

Damn right, Lucy Chen. Damn right.

"Now, I am responsible for a life that is in jeopardy, and I will do whatever I have to to save her."

And he means it. Watch Jackson's surprise to see Tim Bradford slam a guy's head against the horn. Because Tim's unhinged, here. Someone he cares about has been taken, and he doesn't give a damn what happens to him or his career.

He'll let it all fall if it means Lucy survives.

FAST FORWARD: We talk a lot about how Tim makes sacrifices for Lucy where his career is concerned. And while in later seasons it becomes their thing, I think in this case he'd have done it for any of his few friends. We later see him risk it all for Angela when she's kidnapped, too. Tim has a separate code for his friends. And Lucy's falling more under it over time. Again not romantic... yet.

"There can be charges in here that lead us to Caleb."

Did you clock that brief smile? Before Jackson walks up, Tim thinks they're at a dead end. Lucy's lost. She's gone. And he'll never get to atone for his mistake.

Jackson brings a sliver of light and hope, and it's enough that Tim actually briefly grins. It's not over, yet.

"Stars shining bright above you..."

The song. Lucy's song to keep herself calm and regulate her breathing. Yes, not talking would have been better, but she needs this. She needs light and life and love. Something bright to pierce the darkness.

Her oxygen is running low, and she's having more trouble breathing, more trouble seeing a way out. The last thing she's going to give that bastard is the satisfaction of watching her scream.

And Melissa O'Neil is breaking my heart. Acting-wise, she is literally in a barrel. There's no one to react off of. There's no one feeding her lines.

It's just Lucy in a barrel, and it's up to the actress to make us feel. No cool camera angles. No sweeping score. Melissa O'Neil had to carry us through this and she did it masterfully.

Yes, the Writers decided to have her singing this song. The script, or a Director or Editor decided to strip the rest of the sound from the overlapping visuals (there's a lot of playing with sound and its impact in this episode that's jaw-droppingly beautiful).

But Melissa O'Neil is the one who has to make us believe it. And we do.

A Glint of Light

Tim's eyes scan the miles of land, looking for some sign of disturbance to clue him in on Lucy's location. But it's something that doesn't belong that grabs his attention—something that literally catches the light of the sun and draws Tim in. Her ring.

He picks it up, still uncertain, but following the clue. A few kicks and... a thunk.

"I've got her! I've got her!"

Tim starts digging in the ground with his bare hands, the grit getting under his fingernails, the dust getting into his lungs. He registers the others, but only barely. He has to get to Lucy.

The ground gives way enough to reach the lid. Tim's hands are all over it, Nyla on one side and Jackson on the other. When they can finally see her, Tim asks for help as they pull her out. But he hovers, staying close, being certain he is the one to make sure she's alive.

Because if she's dead, it's on him.

Look, we know Tim didn't do anything wrong. But Tim Bradford carries a lot of scars and blames himself for a lot of things he shouldn't. And if he can't get to her in time, if he pulls her out and she's truly gone... he can never atone for this.

She's not breathing. Tim blows into her mouth and starts pumping on her chest. The sound drains from the world... just the discordant notes sounding off and echoing like the dying hope of Lucy surviving.

Lucy gasps, and the sound returns to the world. Each person takes a breath of relief. But then the sound zeroes in only on two people—Lucy and Tim.

"You're so strong," he murmurs, soft enough for her to hear, but no one else. But she doesn't hear anything. It's too much. It's all too fucking much. The sobs she'd held in before finally spill out as Tim pulls her close, holding her tight.

He thought he'd lost her. And, again, there's no romance here. But she matters, damnit. She matters to Tim more than he thought she would when they first met. He presses a hand to her hair, pushing his face next to hers.

It screams "I'm here. I'm here." Because in his mind, he is the one who failed her and it had to be him to save her. He owed it to her. He was responsible for her. He fucked up.

And it almost cost her her life.

Again, I don't think that. But Tim does. He truly believes he's the one who failed her. And when you have very few people in your life who care about you (and Lucy has demonstrated many times that she does care about Tim), you don't want to do anything to lose that.

But Tim believes he almost lost Lucy because he wasn't good enough. It plays so much into his childhood trauma, his trauma with his ex-wife, and everything else. Tim thinks he failed.

She doesn't cling to him, no. Her hands shake and her body convulses from the pain. But she lets him hold her there, back in the air, out of her barrel.

Tim isn't her person, yet. But she cares about him, and she knows deep down that he cares about her. She even told Rachel about his good heart.

But her not holding him is completely appropriate to the moment. It's not about him. This is about her. Her trauma. Her survival. Lucy's breaking in this moment. She spent so much time keeping her head in the game, and now she's finally releasing all the anguish she refused to show Caleb.

And she is safe in Tim's arms to fall apart.

I knew from the Pilot that Eric Winter was a tour-de-force. But in this episode we see so many damn layers. And Tim's relief at holding her in his arms at the end instead of cradling her corpse is palpable.

The way this scene is shot and performed and the sound... it all puts us in the moment. We are right there with them, and it's one of my favorite scenes of the entire series.

Here in the barren waste of sand and silence... there's life.

"Hmm. What are you reading, Teen Rebel?"

She wakes up to see Tim there, waiting. He hasn't slept. He hasn't left. We know that. He's spent the past 24 hours feeling completely responsible for Lucy, and it's not easy to leave the side of the person who you pushed yourself to save.

And the first thing she says to him isn't about what she's survived, or even about him finding her. It's about the damn magazine. And it's perfect.

After what she's survived, Lucy needs something familiar. And Tim is pretty damn familiar in her life.

Before we get too much further... I want to call out the lengths Tim went to save Lucy.

FAST FORWARD: We haven't yet reached, "Some things matter more". But Tim's already showing that in action. He's a "show" guy, remember?

Tim was willing to do whatever it took to save her. He would put it all on the line, and that's because he cares about her. No, they're not ripping one another's clothes off. It's Season 2, she's his Boot, and he doesn't even acknowledge friendship with her, yet.

But she is becoming his friend. She's becoming one of the very few people that Tim Bradford will upend the world for.

"They actually have some really insightful political articles."

Watch how fast that man wheeled his little chair over to her side. It makes me giggle with glee.

"Oh, which BTS member is your soulmate. Gotta be Suga, right?" "Totally. What's a BTS?"

Lucy laughs. Probably her first good laugh in days. And it's with Tim. Hardass, Tim Test, never-lets-up Tim.

"Have you been here all night?" "No. Mmhm. No." "Mmhmm."

Because TO Tim can't show that he cares. Not yet. I mean, he's never felt this friendly toward a Boot, and he can't go soft on her when she still has so far to go before crossing the finish line.

Remember, Tim likes rules and staying within them—whether they're the rules set out for him by a superior or the ones he's created for himself. Counting Lucy a friend is outside the lines. But much as he might try to deny it, he's showing it.

He's used to giving his Rookies what he thinks they need, and with Lucy, it's most often tough love and some manipulative tests. For him to break through his own wall of separating personal life from professional life is too much. So, he lies.

But Lucy can see right through him. Strangely, she's always had that power.

"How did you find me?"

Nolan interrupts the moment. Damnit, Nolan! But we'll all get to that later... next episode.

There's a reason I wanted to do these three together. Look, this show is still basically a Procedural at its heart with some continuous story lines. But these three episodes feel more serial than a lot of the show, and because of that, I think the whole picture is required to ascertain its meaning.

"He is a she and she is going to sleep in my bed since I am clearly never going on a date, again."

We started this whole trilogy with Lucy considering a nunnery. And, again, I think this calls attention to what it's like to be a single woman in the world. Yes, assaults can happen to anyone.

But as a woman, I can tell you I never get anything to drink but water when I'm out with my friends. I never leave my drink unattended. And a male friend always walks me to my car. Theater kids go out a lot to bars (like, after every rehearsal), so there was a season in my life where this was a nightly ritual. Trying to stay safe out there.

So, if Lucy doesn't want to ever date again after her ordeal, I don't bloody blame her, and neither do her best friend, past fling, and future husband.

"You hungry?"

Sometimes I swear this man is part Jewish mother. If you Fast Forward in the series, you see he's always trying to feed this woman.

And, yes, I'm saying this from experience. There was an old saying that if you wanted a lot more food from my Great-Aunt Mary, you said you wanted a little. If you wanted a little, you said you wanted none. And if you wanted none, you hid your plate.

"Yeah. I'm starving. You know what I really wanna eat right now?" "Veggie burger and fries. Extra pickles."

Awwwww! Remember in 2x01 when she sent him food? "You shouldn't have done that." "Well, I wanted to. And eating well is crucial to a fast recovery."

He's using the lessons he learned from her as an act of love. Again, not romantic love. But love, nonetheless.

"You know me so well." "Too well."

Look at those smiles. Alright, y'all, I'll admit those smiles put butterflies in my stomach, too.

And the fact that the director chose to take us off of the wide shot so we only saw Tim and Lucy for these last few lines. Because this is about them.

Tim is caring about Lucy far more than he should. And he's growing aware of that. But the nature of this episode makes it impossible for him to shove it down entirely. He writes it off as concern and guilt, and doesn't realize he's been slowly letting Lucy into his circle of friends.

But if we talk about who really knows Lucy in this scene? It's Tim.

Jackson brought pretty flowers, which are nice, but will die. Nolan brought the most giant, pink bear. She's cute, but eventually she'll disappear from Lucy's life because her next boyfriend's not going to want to share the bed with a pink stuffy (unless he's into that... no judgment).

Tim. Brought. Her. Food. Yes, it'll be gone pretty quickly. But I can tell you after not being allowed to eat for both my deliveries of my three kids, I was famished. Lucy hasn't eaten in days, and she wants something filling and comforting. Tim brought her the exact order she wanted without her having to ask.

As much as he tries to separate professional and personal, Lucy's blurring those lines. To me, the Season 1 finale was really the start of that. And Tim bites back against that as much as he can in Season 2 (even treating Lucy like shit because she didn't report him for suicidal ideation).

But this trilogy of episodes breaks down that wall further. Yes, he's still her TO and he's still not going to think of her as a friend. But S2-3 is where that really comes together. They were already on their way, but with these events, he softens towards her in a way he never anticipated.

We get to see him soft throughout the series with "his people". But at this point, he's not yet ready to admit Lucy is one of them. It's outside his standard operating procedure for Rookies.

But, despite his protests, he's making a friend. The kind of friend that sticks. The kind of friend that doesn't leave. The kind of friend that loves with abandon.

And someday, someday, she might become more than that. But right now, he's not even ready to admit she's a friend... but, damn, our "show" guy really showed it.

I really want to call out the coloration and choices of this episode. When Lucy first wakes up on the table (with no establishing shot, so we're as clueless to how isolated she is, just as she is), everything i s tripped back. Melissa O'Neil's makeup is stripped down and we can see her pores.

The first time I watched that scene I thought, "Wow, they really stripped out all the color". There's something about the harshness of yellows, beiges, and browns on their own that evoke old Westerns. That sense of isolation, famine, and drought.

Lucy's world is often so vibrant that the stark shift helps us feel the anxiety with her. There's nothing bright or beautiful about this world. Only de-saturated hopelessness.

Now and Then

Lucy In The Mirror

Lucy's wounds have healed. Her wrists are free of the tie marks. Her face is free of the cuts and bruises. But the tattoo remains. She can hear the sound of the tattoo gun in her mind.

Yes, Lucy has many tattoos, but those were of her choosing. This was another violation—something inflicted upon her. Lucy tries covering up, but the foundation sticks to her shirt.

And, yes, there are makeups out there that can cover up tattoos. Being the daughter of a makeup artist, I know way too much about it and have seen mother in action covering an entire chest full of tattoos for a shoot. That's not the point.

The point of this scene is to remind us (and Lucy) that this can't be covered up. It's on her. It's permanent unless she has it burned off.

"When can she have it removed?" "Four weeks. Two days. Nine hours."

Her mind is on it all the time. She knows it down to the hour. Doesn't sound like someone who's healed to me. But, duh. That's the whole point of the episode.

"Hey, so what's your plan?" "For what?" "Officer Chen. I'm sure you've got some Alpha strategy to get her back on the horse, so, what is it?"

Let's be real. Tim would be Tim, but he wasn't going to be his harshest self on her first day back. He wouldn't be capable of it. But Nyla doesn't know that.

"So basically get her into as many fights as possible." "I'm gonna remind her that she's a cop, not a victim." "She knows that she's not a victim. Look, Chen doesn't need to fight. She needs to make peace with the voice inside of her head telling her she's never gonna be safe again."

I wish someone had asked Lucy. Looking at this situation, they're both coming at it from the wrong angle for Lucy. Tim's going for how he processes and Nyla's going for how she does. Neither of them asks Lucy what she needs.

Look, these are characters who are going to do what's in-character. For the scene and the arc, this has to go this way. But as a person who has had a lifetime of people thinking they know what I need and making it a thousand times worse, I have a personal response to this.

But in character? Both Tim and Nyla want what's best for Lucy and think they're the one to give it to her.

"Okay, I've been training Rookies a lot longer than you. I know what she needs." "That's ego talking. What happened to Chen is every woman's worst fear." "I'm aware of that." But you have never lived that fear."

That stops Tim. Because she's right. Part of Tim's arc in Season 1 and 2 with Lucy by his side is discovering his subconscious biases. She forces him to think beyond what he thinks he knows.

And here, he's facing that even without Lucy present. Because she's opening up his mind to seeing past his own limited perspective.

"It's clear that you have her best interests at heart. I am just asking you to consider whether she might be better served by someone who has been through what she has been through."

This is a lot for Nyla to offer. A woman's experiences are not owed to anyone. But she chooses to give him this insight into why she really believes she's the best person to help Lucy through.

And Tim's listening. He's really listening to what she's saying.

"And that someone's you." *nods* "Okay. I'll tell Grey to make the switch."

I love Eric Winter's choices on this. He's reacting not only to the information that Nyla just shared, knowing that she doesn't want apologies or empty words from him. He didn't do it. But he's sorry it happened. He's face to face with someone in uniform who, like Lucy, thought they were safe with someone when they weren't.

And he's thinking of Lucy. The last thing he wants to do is hurt her, to make this harder, to set her back.

Lucy At Roll Call

She pauses outside the room. Much as she wants to get back at it, this is a point-of-no-return morning. She doesn't want special treatment. She doesn't want weird glances. She doesn't want whispered words.

She doesn't want the damn applause.

"Congratulations you survived but you're branded by a serial killer and still processing the emotional trauma and we want you know that we are all talking about you, and looking at you, and thinking about you."

Damn it.

"Welcome back, Officer Chen. How're you feeling? Can't wait to get on the streets, sir, just get back to normal." "We're going to mix things up a bit. You're going to be riding with Harper this week."

What. The. Fuck!? Lucy just said that she wants to go back to normal. Riding with Nyla is not normal.

Lucy looks back to Tim for confirmation and he nods. But she's still confused. She's on-edge. She didn't expect to come back to work straight into a Tim Test, and that's what this feels like.

Everything that she wanted for transitioning back to work is going wrong.

"I'm not interested in chasing tame calls today."

Because Tim needs to process his way. Look, he in no way went through what Lucy did. Not at all. But he's still carrying his guilt and frustrating, and he needs to channel that into something he can do.

Tim is a man of action, and since he can't take action to help Lucy through her re-acclimation, he's going to do what he needs to do to distract him from worrying about her—his job.

"So why the switch?" "Tim felt you'd be better served riding with me." "Yeah, right. This has to be some kind of elaborate Tim Test that he roped you into." "Do I strike you as someone who could get roped into anything? Especially by Bradford?"

Note the switch from "Tim" to "Bradford". Nyla was trying to keep it conversational at the beginning, but the second Lucy calls out perceived pliability, Nyla snaps back to put Lucy in her place.

"Fair enough. So, I'll ask you again, why the switch?" "I convinced him that I would have more insight into what you were going through and could therefore be more helpful to your re-integration onto the streets."

Look how Lucy recoils. Much as Lucy loves talking things out, she doesn't want to talk about this. She doesn't want to have to think about what she's been through while she's out here. She wants normal.

"Did you go on a date with a serial killer, too?" "Uh, no." "Well, then I'm not sure how much help you'd be. But it's fine, 'cause I don't need any help. I've already worked through the trauma using both cognitive and exposure therapy combined with mindful breathing and Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. So, it's, it's fine."

Of course, we know Lucy's far from fine. But this isn't what she wanted. She didn't want to have special treatment. She didn't want to be pulled from working with Tim. Frustrating as he is, he's familiar. That's normal.

And Lucy's gone through all the Psychological steps she thinks will help her be fine. It's her blind spot, truly. Because she seems to think there's a point where you're just "fine" and don't need to process anymore.

No, that trauma will come up, again, we know. But right now she doesn't want to face it. She's trying to pretend her way to being fine.

"Need backup for a felony car stop." "You sure?" "Hell, yeah."

Everyone's surprised to hear her voice. But she wants to get back at it. She doesn't want to feel different. It's bad enough what she has to deal with in her head. At the Station, she's a Rookie, yeah, but she's a cop.

And the more I look at this episode the more it feels like Lucy and Tim have traded spots for a day. Normally, Tim's the one who doesn't want to talk and would rather bury himself in the job. And Lucy's usually the one second-guessing.

But Tim second-guessed himself this morning and let Nyla have Lucy. And everyone wants Lucy to talk, but she'd rather get in the action.

"You want me to do the paperwork?" "Oh, nope."

Tim always has Lucy do the paperwork. She wants to do what's familiar, what's natural, what's practiced. "Please let me be normal".

"That was a nice job out there." "Thanks." "So you're just not gonna let me help you at all." "I don't need any help."

Look, we all know that she does, but not like this. Nyla wants so badly to help Lucy, but if Lucy isn't ready, trying to push her like this isn't going to change anything. It's going to push her further inward.

"Did you get the flowers we sent?" "And the basket. Thank you."

Lucy really has some lovely people in her life. And look at her genuine appreciation for Abigail, here. Baskets are one of Lucy's love languages, and she nailed it.

"What the hell is this? I let you run around with Harper for half the day and you start hugging people on duty?" "Don't listen to him. He's all bark."

Tim is being his grumpy-ass self and Lucy's smiling like the sunshine that she is. This is what she thought she'd have today. This rhythm to which she's already grown accustomed.

Yes, Tim gets under her skin and pisses her off. But she knows him. She's used to him. The Tim Tests come when she least expects it, but she knows to expect that.

While there are many mysteries left to this man, he's been her biggest constant during her Rookie year. And it's nice to get to talk to him.

"All bark? She is not buying what you're selling." "Because I don't hold her fate in my hands."

They're teasing. We're to the point in their relationship where they can tease one another, and you can see how comfortable Lucy is in this.

Apart from the action, this is the most comfortable we've seen her all episode.

"Heard you dodged some bullets." "Yeah, a few. What, are you keeping tabs on me?"

The discomfort is back. Because even Tim Fucking Bradford is acting different around her. There's a softness to him that she's never seen before directed at her. Yes, she's seen it... but not with those eyes directed her way.

"Look, if you need anything, you let me know."

Finally, someone asks what she needs. All day, people (including Tim) have been making assumptions about what she needs. But here Tim is truly putting her first and trying to see if there's anything he can really do.

"You got a time machine?" "I wish I did."

Because he'd go back and take back the decision that fed her to the lion. Yes, we all know it's not Tim's fault. But he still feels like it is. And this is what Lucy really wishes she had—not some remedy or quick fix... that it never happened.

"You're not gonna shower?" "Uh, I'm gonna do it a home."

Because she doesn't want the stares. She doesn't want the questions. She doesn't want the reminder.

She's wearing concealer under her shirt because she doesn't want to see the thing. And she's tired of the comments and special treatment. Lucy wants to go back to normal.

Now, we can already see from this episode that "normal" isn't really possible. Relationships have shifted. Lucy is not the same woman she was before. Yes, she'll open up parts of her that shut down over time, but she'll never be who she was before that night of carefree drinks gone wrong.

But that's what Lucy wants in this moment. Normalcy.

"Oh, but you're not going home."

The hell?! She was just abducted and now you won't let her go home? Sorry, but that was my gut reaction watching this.

"We have plans. Girls' Night." "Oh, I get it. You've seen that I'm find on the job, but you're still not convinced." "We just thought it would be fun." ... "It's... you guys have just never asked me out before."

Think of how happy Lucy was that she was getting invited to something normal!? And with these two bad-ass women!

Lucy spends so much of her time in the first two seasons with Jackson and Nolan that we rarely get to see her with the other women of the Station.

She was going to get to have a night out with two women she trusts—something safe. And she had just relaxed into that when they pulled this shit.

Look, I'm salty at these two. I love Nyla and Angela's my number three on the show. But this was a terrible idea. Nyla was critical of Tim throwing her into work, but she's throwing her into the dating pool.

And it's no wonder Lucy was triggered. She isn't ready to date, again. And that's fine. She should be able to get out there when she is ready.

But we all experience the world through out unique lenses and experiences. And a very real mistake we make is assuming because I need it this way, you do, too.

I have twin sons. When they were 9 months old, a friend handed down a toy to us. You throw a ball into the toy and it makes a noise. Ta-da! One child giggled uncontrollable. They other screamed and broke down in sobs.

Different people react differently. They need different coping mechanisms. They need different healing paths. When we try too hard to homogenize treatment, we miss the opportunity for true healing.

And part of the problem here is the utter lack of communication. Nyla has hinted to Tim what she went through, but she hasn't given Lucy any indication.

Now, Nyla doesn't owe Lucy her story. But she has chosen to help Lucy, and it would be a helluva lot easier to get through to Lucy if she communicated with her.

"Hey, Lucy had a bit of a moment last night when we were out."

Tim. Is. Pissed. Angela can tell that's all it took for him to be ready to go into Tim-Mode on someone's ass.

"It's not a big deal. She's fine." "What the hell is Harper doing?" "Helping. Don't get all 'Tim' on me. I just thought you should know." "Lucy's okay?" "She will be." "Alright. Thanks for letting me know."

Angela is the only one who knows about Tim's guilt. She's the only one who knows the weight he's been carrying, blaming himself for what happened to Lucy. She's the only one to know he has a growing soft spot for her.

So she does the right thing and gives him a heads-up.

And note how it's always "Lucy" when he's talking with Angela in these episodes. With Nolan, it's "Chen" because Nolan is not Tim's friend. But Angela's his best friend, and he can let his guard down a little when it comes to her.

Nyla Shares Her Tale

We already said that Nyla doesn't owe anyone her story. But by keeping it from Lucy, Lucy was pushing her away. She truly thought it was another outsider with outside opinions trying to force her to be okay.

Hearing Nyla's story, she is finally able to see her differently. There's a beat right after Lucy says, "I'm so sorry," where Melissa O'Neil shifts her gaze from cynical to sisterly—Lucy sees herself in Nyla.

For the first time since she's gotten out of that barrel, there's someone who isn't an outsider who truly wants to help.

"I shut down. I didn't even tell my husband. I kept telling myself that I would deal with it when I was ready." "But with every passing week it just got worse." "Maybe I pushed you too hard last night. But I know what it is like when you do not face things head-on."

Look how Lucy has shifted. Because Nyla can relate. Lucy was pushing so hard against her from the get-go that she missed the signs on this.

She was so focused on pushing everyone away and keeping everyone out that she missed that Nyla wasn't another outsider looking in with "expert" opinions on something they know nothing about. Nyla really does know.

"You and Chen are close, right?"

"I used to be inside her on the regular, so, yeah." I'm sorry. I had to. It was the first thing that popped into my head when I watched the scene.

"How's she doing? I mean, really doing?"

Because Tim is in his phase of needing to know how Lucy is, but not being the one "in the know". He's still her TO, and going directly to her for information is outside his code. But he can't help worrying. Lucy matters to him.

"She's good. Really. I think she'll be better once she gets that tattoo removed. Can you imagine that? Walking around every day branding by the worst thing that's ever happened to you? " "You think because it's physical, it's worse? Tragedies always leave scars. Only some of them you can see."

Again, this is about perspective. Some people are visual learners. Some are auditory. Some learn by doing.

I have a weird quirk of my brain that a memory is stronger for me if I can see a photo of it. Yes, I have other memories, but I can almost transport back to the moments in my photo albums since I've had decent memory. Visuals are important for me.

To Tim, it doesn't matter if it's visual or not. But Lucy might be different. Seeing that every day might mean more to her than it does to him. He's not considering that.

Seriously, as a former Communications student (two degrees in it), this episode is a masterclass in personal bias and intrapersonal vs interpersonal communication. In the moments of actual connection there's communication that's clear and concise.

Throughout the episode, everyone is making choices that are complicating matters. They're trying to do what's right, but they're doing it without clarity.

Nyla gets through to Lucy best when she talks to the woman in an open and honest manner. Same with Tim, later.

But, I'm skipping ahead...

A Punching Bag

Remember how I said Tim and Lucy have switched places this episode? In the same place where Lucy once offered Tim perspective (on his learning disability) and a gift (the book on tape), Tim will have his moment.

Lucy wipes her face without thinking, and Tim gets a glimpse of the tattoo. It flusters Lucy as she turns. She doesn't want to talk about it.

He's come down here for a reason. After spending all day asking others about her, he needs to see her for himself.

He wants to say something, too, but he's second-guessing. Ever since he pushed her toward a serial killer, he's been second-guessing where she's concerned.

"You got no quit in you, do you, Boot?" "No, sir. I get that from you." "I don't think so. You walked in the door this way. It's what makes you so aggravating."

He's teasing her. This is their rhythm. They've found it and they've earned it, and she's been stripped from it when she really wanted something familiar.

"I'm taking that as a compliment." "It was meant to be. You have a good night." "Yeah, you, too."

Tim turns to go, shoving his hands in his pockets. As he does, his fingers graze the ring... her ring. The ring he's been carrying around because it's tangible. It's something he can hold onto and remind himself that it's true—Lucy lived.

He turns around, no longer second-guessing. He has something to say, and he can only hope she hears him.

"You know, I got half a dozen scars. Bullet wounds, knife wounds, broken bottle. Then there's the ones you can't see, Isabel's addiction, a dad who would tune me up on the regular. And whether I like it or not, they're a part of me."

I can't remember him talking this openly about the trauma of Isabel's addiction before. But, he's in the Lucy role, today. He's talking things out while she's taking it out on a punching bag.

"I know what you're trying to do. And I appreciate it, but this is different. I was tattooed by a sadist who etched my day of death into my skin." "Okay, but you didn't die. Okay? You lived. And now he's the one in the ground."

Lucy sighs, because here's another outsider telling her what to do and how to feel.

"I'm not trying to tell you what to do with it. Okay? Burn it off, keep it, whatever gives you peace."

That's a little better. Lucy starts listening at that. Because, everyone's trying to push her in a direction, and he makes it clear that that's not his intention. He's not trying to push her to do or be anything.

"All I'm trying to do is give you some hard-won perspective."

If this was Pee Wee's Playhouse, we'd all have to scream because "Perspective" is the word of the day. Because each person's perspective has been an obstacle, today. Each person's perspective has been a roadblock.

But Tim's being very clear that he's offering only that—his Perspective. And, remember, Lucy cares very much what Tim thinks of her. She cares how he sees her. She doesn't want to let him down.

"You can choose to see that tattoo as your greatest failure. But I see it as proof that you're a survivor."

"You're so strong," he'd whispered when she started breathing, again. She might have been too overwhelmed at the moment to ever remember that, but we do. He recognized her strength and ability to survive right then.

This isn't lip-service. This is Tim Bradford being completely honest about how he sees Lucy.

"It wasn't your day of death, Officer Chen. It was the first day of the rest of your life. And no one can take that away from you."

There it is. No, this isn't going to "fix" the pain that Lucy's feeling. It's not going to make the trauma disappear. It's not going to erase the memories. But this mind-flip of that tattoo is powerful.

Because Caleb made her say aloud what that tattoo meant. He told her that it was for her, for her perspective, for her to own up to what he said it meant.

And here's Tim Bradford, a man who Lucy respects and trusts, helping her look at it from a different angle.

And isn't that what Tim does so well? Lucy even calls him out on it later in the show... He's the king at coming at things sideways and seeing another angle.

What he's saying is, "YOU, Lucy, get to decide how you look at that tattoo." She's spent so much time looking at it from Caleb's perspective that she didn't consider there was an alternative.

"Thanks." "Yeah. You're welcome."

Tim shoves his hands back in his pocket, and they both let the moment pass, easily. He said what he needed to say, and she heard him. Now, they can move forward.

"You riding with me tomorrow?" "Yes sir." "Good. Get in early. War bags need restocking." "Okay."

Tim pulls the ring from his pocket and tosses it to Lucy before she can register what it is. As she opens her hands, she sees it—her ring.

The ring she tossed off her hand in hopes that someone would find it. And Tim did. He found it. He found her.

"How did you find me?" Lucy asked from her hospital bed. Now, she has the answer.

Lucy looks up at Tim in awe and surprise. He smiles at the ring at her hand, and then back at her. He'd been carrying it around for a while because he didn't yet have Lucy back. Yes, she was at work, but not riding with him.

Tim once talked to Lucy about finding something tangible to focus on instead of the intangibility of nuclear disaster. Yes, he was being figurative, but I don't put it past him to take it literal. Lucy is back, but not back with him, yet.

Tomorrow, she'll be in his Shop. And now he doesn't need something tangible to hold onto to remind him that she is coming back, because she'll be there. By his side.

This is theirs. Tim told no one how he found her. She told no one that she'd dropped the ring. Only Tim and Lucy know this part of her story... of their story.

*phew* this one was emotionally exhausting. It took a week of work. But, I hope you enjoy it. It's heavier than most, but I think it's earned.

I would argue that Tim and Lucy are already on their way to friendship at the beginning of this trilogy, but the events that happen expedite it, and also solidify their trust of one another.

Tim respects the hell out of her. He knows what she's capable of, and now he's seen it for himself. Yes, he's going to be tough on her, again, when he's ready. And, yes, she's going to be pissed at him, when she's ready.

But only Tim and Lucy know who they are in the in-betweens. When the cameras aren't rolling on their chests and nobody else is listening in—like this ending scene. This is theirs.

And as they move forward in their relationship, there are all these touchstones, these pillars that shifted things that they can look back on as guide posts or stepping stones that at the time seemed small, but proved essential to their journey.

And, oh, I can't wait to see where it takes them next.

As always, thanks for reading.

#Chenford #Lucy Chen #Tim Bradford #Melissa O'Neil #Eric Winter #The Rookie #Meta #tw abuse #tw assault #tw rape

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noelwho · 1 year

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Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist!!!

Hello! I feel like I have to introduce myself ‘cause I’m barely on Tumblr. I’m still learning how to use it, I posted a couple of fanarts and they went really well, so I want to try and make myself a spot in here. My name is Noel (they/them) and I’m a big fan of Critical Role. I started watching a few months ago, with Exandria Unlimited. Once I was done I went ahead and started Campaign 3. I’m currently on episode 49 (I know, I have a lot ahead yet). I also watched the first season of Candela Obscura and a couple of One-Shots.

Today I’m here to talk about the Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches. Earlier this week I started to obsess over a playlist. An Imodna playlist, to be more specific. It started with me listening to one I found on spotify (I will credit below because it’s been a huge inspiration for this project) and I got the urge to make my own. At the beginning it was something chill, something normal…until it was not. Over the course of the last 3 days I haven’t thought about or listened to anything else. I got the idea of making the playlist in chronological order and I started to take it very seriously. I divided their history in 10 different chapters and assigned each song to the correct time period. At first it was just gonna be into chapters, but then I started to put them in order inside the chapters too, and it became very personal. For real, this playlist has been the one and only thing I wanted to talk about for days. Last night I finally finished it. I’ve played it for run tests several times and I think it’s finally ready to see the light (kinda feels like the project of my life even though I only spent a few days working on it).

After all this brainrot it didn’t feel right to just tweet a link to the playlist, I wanted the world to know everything that went through my head in the process of making this. I also don’t have many people around who care about Critical Role, and I thought it was a good opportunity to connect with the fandom. So all of this took me here, to tumblr. All of a sudden it became very clear that this was the perfect place to set my baby free.

There’s some things I wanna make clear before you start reading, the first being the classic: english is not my first language. Sounds like a joke at this point but for real, it’s very likely that this thing is full of grammatical mistakes and I want to apologize in advance (specially about the in/on/at situation, I’ve been having lots of trouble with those for some reason) This is also the first time I do something like this so it may not be perfect. The second thing is that this will obviously be filled with spoilers. In fact I actually haven’t even got to The Scene, I saw it around on Tumblr and Twitter (impossible to avoid that spoiler, but I don’t really care). I’m aware that there’s a lot of Imodna moments that I haven’t seen yet, but I couldn't wait to start this playlist. I don’t know if the episodes I have left to watch will translate into new chapters or into new songs for the chapters I already have but either way, I will keep this post and the playlist updated.

With that being said, welcome to this ride through an unhinged mind. Fasten your seatbelts and enjoy!

The tether scene is one of my favorite ones. I love that metaphor with a passion. That’s why I chose this name for the playlist. With the photo I wanted to make an allusion to the red thread myth given that Laudna herself carries around a spool of red string. I even edited the picture so the hands on the right are slightly gray like Laudna’s.

There’s not just one specific vibe to this playlist, but I find it to be a very calming one, with the exception of some specific moments that we will talk about later. I tried to avoid strong and distracting beats so I could keep it a little ethereal. Lots of acoustic guitar (which I love). I’m not going to talk about every single song because some of them have pretty obvious meanings. Usually the songs aren't a 100% match, but they do have a part to it that speaks to me and to the story on a certain level.

× Imogen and Laudna’s separate lifes ×

At the beginning of the journey that is this playlist, I wanted to introduce the characters. Intertwining their songs, we get to know Imogen and Laudna’s pasts, before they have each other to face the terrors of being witches in a world that doesn’t quite understand them.

Delilah - Florence + The Machine (Laudna)

I sometimes wonder if Marisha has ever listened to this song, because oh my fucking god. I wanted to start the playlist with Abbey, I didn’t because with the intertwining I couldn’t make it fit, but this one is a very good start as well. This song shows perfectly how it must have been being brought back by Delilah and having that power all of a sudden.

Abbey - Mitski (Imogen)

Matilda - Harry Styles (Laudna)

Imogen - Nick Mulvey (Imogen)

Laudna's lullaby - Ginny Di (Laudna)

Time comes in roses - Bess Atwell (Imogen)

The Tradition - Halsey (Laudna)

Burn it down - Daughter (Imogen)

There’s several songs from this album on this playlist. It couldn’t fit better. It reflects perfectly the moment Imogen started to develop her powers. It even refers directly to the way she parts ways with her town (which doesn’t happen for a few chapters but still I felt this one belonged here). Her fear of being a disappointment, her father becoming absent, the feeling of being cursed. It’s all here.

The hanging tree - The hunger games (Laudna)

Still I wait - Anna Leone (Both)

Even with everything they had to go through, they both still wait and cling to hope.

× Imogen and Laudna meet ×

Finally, their paths cross. They experience the feeling of warmth for the first time in a long time. They both feel the need to keep the other one close and begin to appreciate the little things in life, learning how to be taken care of. Goodbye loneliness.

Season of the Witch - Lana Del Rey

I'd like to walk around in your mind - Vashti Bunyan

How important is this song knowing what Imogen can do…

Comfortable Silence - Bella Porter

Without you without them - Boygenius

A hole in the earth - Daughter

That Moon Song - Gregory Alan Isakov

Love brought weight - Old Sea Brigade

That distant shore - Steven Universe

Sick of losing soulmates - Natalie Dawn

I Hear a Symphony - Cody Fry

Sidelines - Phoebe Bridgers

The bug collector - Haley Heyderickx

Sometimes I feel that it’s always Laudna taking care of Imogen, as if she didn't have anything on her own plate. It can't be easy to live with a voice in your head and paranoia. This song shows how Imogen is there to hold Laudna too when it becomes too much.

Look up - Joy Oladokun

If the last one was an Imogen’s POV, this one is totally a Laudna’s POV. Her and her silly little pep talks. “You’re so capable”.

Daylight - Taylor Swift

I love the idea of them learning that life can be good if you find someone to share it with. This song encapsulates that perfectly.

Spell - Dora Jar

I wanted this one to be the last one of the chapter because it introduces the idea of leaving together.

× Imogen and Laudna run away together ×

“Would you run away with me?” They learn what it’s like to have a home that’s not a place, but something entirely new. The past still follows but they’re no longer crushed by it, because they don’t have to sustain it on their own.

Departure - Daughter

Second child, restless child - The Oh Hellos

Just the two of us - Grover Washington, Jr.

I really like to imagine Imodna slice of life scenes when I listen to this song.

Dandelion Wine - Gregory Alan Isakov

Homesick - Dwara, Khotton Palm

Graceland Too - Phoebe Bridgers

When I realized how much of a Laudna's POV this song is, I almost cried.

Telepath - Manchester Orchestra

I really really like Manchester Orchestra, it's one of my favorite bands. I never let go of the chance of spreading them around, and this one is the best song they have. Laudna's POV for sure.

everything i wanted - Billie Eilish

With songs like this one and Intertwined, I wanted to introduce the idea that even though they're definitely better off now that they left the town, that doesn't instantly solve all of their problems. As I said before, the past follows, but they're no longer alone with it.

Savior Complex - Phoebe Bridgers

Intertwined - Dodie

Nothing else matters - Phoebe Bridgers

As long as they're together, nothing else matters.

× You lied ×

Even though I only have a few songs for this precise moment of the story, I thought that it was very important to include their first fight. The gem is broken and Imogen feels betrayed. Laudna is left abandoned and thinks she deserves to be punished for Delilah’s wrongs. We explore jealousy for the first time.

Witches - Daughter

The silence at the end of this instrumental song represents the loneliness that Laudna felt when Imogen left her alone after her incident with Delilah

Landfill - Daughter

There are two possible ways of reading into this one. This is in my opinion a Laudna's POV. She could either be talking to Imogen, expressing her deep rooted desire for a punishment for what she’s done; or to Delilah, alluding to the attachment she has to her own powers (that at least as far as she knows are there because of Briarwood) opposed to the hatred she feels for her and for herself for wanting those powers (this is a theme that they explore later on future chapters)

Are you okay? - Winnetka Bowling League

Afterglow - Taylor Swift

The archer - Taylor Swift

× Laudna’s death ×

Otohan Thull relentlessly kills three members of Bells Hells. A coin is flipped and Laudna is gone, again. What awaits beyond the afterlife? Perhaps a little girl, a monster and a tree.

DVD menu - Phoebe Bridgers

If death’s not exactly DVD menu by Phoebe Bridgers, then someone tell me what’s like because I can’t imagine otherwise. I freaking love how this song connects with Daffodil.

Daffodil - Florence + The Machine

Death with dignity - Sufjan Stevens

Bells in Santa Fe - Halsey

I like to imagine that Laudna didn't appear in Nightmarish Whitestone immediately. Up until this point, she's in a limbo, accepting her own death. Bells in Santa Fe marks the moment she sets foot in that Upside-down kind of world. The constant repetition of “All of this is temporary” is like a mantra for her, the only hope she has of getting through it with her sanity intact is believing that this will also end and she will finally find peace.

Willow Tree March - The paper kiss

Hard times - Ethel Cain

Tether me - Galleaux

With this song and the next one, I wanted to express desperation. We don't get to know in the series how she feels throughout all of this, but I can only imagine how terrifying it must have been. There's a point where anyone would have started begging for help.

Matilda - alt-J

× Imogen’s grief ×

“Is she your favorite?”. Imogen feels deeply guilty for what happened. The possibility of bringing Laudna back is the only thing that’s keeping her from losing it completely. All the regrets, all the words she wishes she said before, all the times she didn’t approached her when she wanted to, come afloat. Grief, disassociation and sorrow.

Words - Storefront Church, Phoebe Bridgers

This song is meant to represent the exact moment of Imogen floating and losing control, with Otohan in her head pushing her to let go.

Goner - Twenty One Pilots

No other song in existence can express better the moment Imogen realize Laudna's gone for good.

Lanterns lit - Son Lux

True Faith - Ashley Johnson

Hurt for me - SYML

Carry you - Novo Amor

My love - Florence + The Machine

Lucky for you - Novo Amor, Gia Margaret

Killer + the sound - Phoebe Bridgers, Noah Gundersen

Should have known better - Sufjan Stevens

Ya'aburnee - Halsey

Show you a body - Haley Heyderickx

Imogen (even Laura) loses hope for a moment during the ritual they do for bringing Laudna back. The end of this song summarize this repeating a lyric over and over (you can clearly see through this playlist how much I love repetition).

× Back together ×

After Bells Hells confront Delilah at the Upside-down-Whitestone of Laudna’s nightmares, Pike manages to bring her back to life. Imogen and her are back hand by hand, and nothing can ever tear them apart again. Here’s where I think something awakes inside them, but they are far from realizing it.

I am the Antichrist to you - Kishi Bashi

Like an angel “fallen from the sky with grace”, Laudna’s back on Imogen’s arms.

Darling - Halsey

This love (Taylor's Version) - Taylor Swift

Now that you're home - Manchester Orchestra

Lose you again - Manchester Orchestra

Halloween - Phoebe Bridgers

But not kiss - Fayer Webster

Like I said, something changes after this. What they’ve been through is not nothing. This song is here to show that something is born deep inside them, on their subconscious far from their reach yet

× Back to Gelvaan ×

Same as with the “You lied” chapter, I felt that this one was important even though I just have one song for it. It just matches perfectly. Imogen and Laudna visit Imogen’s hometown and the place where they met, searching for answers. Old wounds, some closure and an emotionally absent father.

My tears ricochet - Taylor Swift

× Tethered ×

In this chapter the platonic bond is peaking. It takes place right before The Unraveling, giving in to the “Can I kiss you?” phase and becoming romantic. They’ve been through hell and back just to stay together. This is my personal favorite bit of the playlist, everything is extremely intense but not yet explicit.

Tethered - Sleeping at last

I Will - Mitski

Anchor - Alli X

Don't let them see you cry - Manchester Orchestra

Crosses - José González

Quietly - Manchester Orchestra

Francesca - Hozier

Moon song - Phoebe Bridgers

Capital Karma - Manchester Orchestra

Everywhere, everything - Noah Kahan

In a week - Hozier

Monster - King Princess

j's lullaby (darlin' i'd wait for you) - Delaney Bailey

I will follow you into the dark - Miya Folick

I wouldn't ask you - Clairo

× Can I kiss you? ×

Finally, the moment we’ve all been waiting for. The beggining of something new, the next and most logical step of this journey. The platonic becomes romantic and they get to truly explore the feelings they always had, and some novel ones. This is the moment I know less about, but I’ve used my imagination and my own headcanons.

Can I - Genevieve Stokes

I debated a lot whether to put this one at the end of the last chapter or the beginning of this one because I don't know how relevant Laudna's death is up to this point, and there's a huge reference to this in this song. I know for a fact that the Delilah’s plot is not over and things will change, but I couldn't resist the urge to put it in here, given the name of the song and its obvious connection to the chapter.

We'll never have sex - Leith Ross

Wading in Waist-high Water - Fleet Foxes

This is the last time - The National

All my ghosts - Lizzy McAlpine

Prière pour la nuit - Barbara Pravi, November Ultra

Chewing Cotton Wool - The Japanese House

Bandages - Rachel Bobbitt

This is it, this is The Ultimate Chronological Order Imodna Playlist. I don't know if I'm the first one doing this, probably not, I don't know if this has any value to anyone beyond myself, but I had a hell of a lot of fun. If only one person were to read this till the end I would be more than satisfied.

I’ll link here the playlist that started all of this. Massive respect for this person whoever it is, I took lots of the songs from here

Infinite thanks to anyone who gets here or saves my playlist, feel free to respond with any song that you think adds to the story!! Something tells me this isn't the end of my Imodna brainrot so,,,, more things could be on their way (a fanfic, perhaps?).

No idea how to end this so… long live Lesbian Southern Gothic Witches!!!

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poppyseedqueenz · 9 hours

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(Hopefully Final)Update On the owonekko situation:

Okay so just today the situation has reached its peak so a few hours ago Nondi has worsened this whole mess by making a follow-up response to not only Jouusta but to her critics AND her fans as a WHOLE and let's just say it's probably WORSE than her first response

How did she Respond? Did she apologize? Is she taking a break? Did she realize her mistake?

Well.....

youtube

Okay I'm not gonna hold back

Nondi This is the Most NASTIEST, IMMATURE, RUDEST, DISRESPECTFUL Thing that I have Ever Seen! Where do I even start?? Lets start with the fact that whole Animatic low-key ridiculous not only is the whole thing lowkey disrespectful to EVERYONE involved with the portrayal of Jo, Her Critics, HER FANS. But this video is anything BUT respectful! She went silent for almost 5 to 10 days after her Livestream only to make an EVEN worse response not only that but the fact That now she's trying to turn the whole thing into a race issue when race was NEVER even mentioned by Jo or anyone EXCEPT Nondi! Nondi was the ONLY one who said anything about her skintone but now I'm starting to realize something

At this point this isn't even about the AI anymore Nondi is just being a straight-up bully and slandering Everyone involved specifically Jo painting her in a TERRIBLE TERRIBLE Light(whilst now Nondi fans are also now sending Jo hate comments and a few were DEATH THREATS)

Not only that but in the description to her animatic not only is she "Not sorry" she made a lengthy doc(and yes I read every single word) where she fails to take accountability and passes blame onto the critics and Jo and making excuses for her behavior and adding extra things that are half-true, not relevant to the situation, gaslighting fans, and downright lies of which she claims is the "truth"

Nondi's Doc:

Let me remind that after Jo's video went up she made a Pinned Comment and made a few edits to it when Nondi's livestream went up This is What she Said:

Jo's Pinned Comment: "EDIT (9/12/24): Thank you to all who have let me know about Nondi’s most recent livestream and livestream thumbnail. I have not watched the full VOD, but I have seen the thumbnail and… obviously, I am not okay with it. Not in the slightest. That being said, it’s very clear to me that she’s having a mental health episode of some sort. I’m hoping after that livestream she’ll take some time off the internet and not entertain this controversy anymore. I’m disappointed with her actions, with her portrayal of me, and with how she’s handled everything, but at the end of the day I want her to be mentally well, and I feel bad that I contributed anything to the deterioration of her mental state. I still stand by everything I said in this video. I still think she’s wrong for misgendering the larger creator (and continuing to justify it). But I think this will be the last thing I’ll say regarding this video and OwONekko. If anything else happens, I’m not gonna address it (unless I feel like I REALLY need to). Again, don’t go and harass Nondi. Don’t be nasty to anyone. Take care of your mental health too. . . . . . . . . A few more notes here! I changed the title of this video from “How to Lose an Audience’s Trust - OwONekko’s AI Art Stance and How it Harms Artists” to “OwONekko’s Generative AI Stance and How it Harms Artists” because I felt like that was a more concise and less offensive way to market the video. I also want to say I do NOT think Nondi is a bad person for using and liking AI for the reasons she does, I just disagree with her reasons, and I should have been more clear about that. She’s entitled to her opinion about AI as much as I am entitled to mine. I may go here or on my insta to say a few more things regarding this situation if anything else happens, but I’m not going to make any more video content because I don’t want to egg on the people that have been relentlessly harassing Nondi because of my video. Genuinely, I feel awful about that. If you have anything to say about this discourse, keep it on MY video and off of her twitter/ Youtube page. She’s seen all the arguments, criticism, and nasty shit that’s out there. I may have criticized her for blocking certain users in my video, but at this point I think that course of action is 100% justified. If I had known this video was going to be shown to over 200,000 people in less than 48 hours, I would have been a lot more clear and less reactive with how I expressed things in this video. I’ve never had a video perform like this one did.. like, genuinely, I thought this would be watched by the people already in this discourse and MAYBE just a few others. It was not my intention to bring so many new eyes to her channel, especially in this light, but that’s what happened. As for the transphobia claims, she says it was an accident and will not repeat this mistake going forward. She hasn’t apologized for misgendering the creator, which I absolutely disagree with, but she’s made it clear she doesn’t stand by what she originally did. (that being said, I am not trans or queer, so whether or not you want to support her for this going forward is completely up to you. Just don’t go and be a bother to her.)(edit: she has continued to justify her misgendering the larger creator so idek anymore) I’ll edit this comment if I have anything else to add, but for now that’s all I have to say."

I am 100% on Jo's side of the drama

Jo said that nondi was entitled to her opinion and was not calling her bad in ANY WAY Jo was rightfully upset about how nondi portrayed her in the Livestream(she hasn't seen the Animatic yet) and for some reason nondi and her die-hards decided to attack her when Jo just made a harmless statement and even said not to harass anyone at the VERY beginning of her video plus she Cannot be blamed for who saw the video she is not in control of what the algorithm shows us as she said that her intended target for the video were people who WERE actually aware of the situation WITH the exception of a FEW new eyes NOT 200,000(now 400,000) new eyes and she did apologize for that and I do agree if people did not watch Nondi's ai stance video and then Jo's video(even though jo DID say to watch Nondi's video first to get the full context)

(Note: I watched Nondi's full ai stance video before Jo uploaded hers) and just saw Jo's video(depending on how much you watched of Jo's video) and just relentlessly attacked nondi are also in just as much of the wrong telling her to "Kys" is not helpful and making her more stubborn and while I don't agree with her deleting comments that DO know the full story those critiquing her with no context are 100% justified beacuse context is EVERYTHING however Nondi's reactions and responses are NOT justified whatsoever she is a GROWN ASS WOMAN who knew DAMN WELL what's she's doing especially when she went live with that slander video, Twitter posts and even TODAY'S video and the fact that people are still defending what she's done are also the problem she is not the victim she is the perpetrator and when other people did what she's done now they were called crazy, were ridiculed or nearly lost or DID their careers entirely)

The last time a rapper(Doja Cat) made a post disrespecting her fans the same way nondi did she lost almost 200,000 followers

When this rapper(Nicki Minaj) went on a whole Twitter rampage and a crazy rant on IG live beacuse of Hiss (by Meg Thee Stallion)(in this case Nondi went on A coke rant on YT live)she was called a fucking cokehead

When this youtuber(Colleen Ballinger) made a video pinning blame on the internet for banding together, calling her out on her predatory behavior and made a ukulele musical as a response(in Nondi's a fucking snl skit) her response was seen as the worst youtuber apology/statement videos to date

(Note: this is not an attack on Nicki, Doja nor Meg as I love and respect all 3 of these artists however I can't say the same thing for Colleen as she is a terrible human being)

And while people are saying "omg the art community is so sensitive" and you know what? You're right the art community can get sensitive over everything and anything but that that's not the case people are rightfully upset at nondi she montitezed her ai Playlist Made by a company who's under fire for stealing unauthorized audio and using it but now she's attacking fans and critics who were trying to tell here what she was doing was WRONG

AI is a dangerous practice and a very controversial topic that is threatening not only art but jobs in general if ai was not being trained on stolen work and being seen as a replacement then maybe I would have a different opinion the problem is its not being seen as a tool but as a REPLACEMENT for human artists whist stealing art from them and creating entirely new images for the stolen work and people keep Making excuses for ai if "get with the times" mean I have to just let ai steal my work then I rather be left behind

And when I was looking at Nondi's Doc she keeps using race(she used are a total of 3 times even again race is NOT the problem and the fact that your using the race card is downright sickening and this is coming from a black person) and she tried to make Jo look like the bad person and acting as if what she's doing isn't overreacting guess what nondi You ARE overreacting and this Animatic and doc is proof and the way you responded has just made things worse you could've used that short hiatus to reevaluate or make a statement no one asked you to apologize for the A.I video but for the misgendering, the hateful comments and to Jo but instead you make 2 videos(one of them being a YT live) and slandered many people(even though you said you don't like bigger platforms using their influence to harm others) she is becoming the thing that she doesn't want to be and it's sad and the fact that fans still defend and fight tooth and nail for her just proves how ignorant these people are critics will critique ANYTHING, EVERYTHING and EVERYONE that should be common knowledge if you become a content creator or a public figure(such as a celebrity, influencer or musician) if you can't wrap your head around that then content creation isn't for you She is a GROWN woman who went on a two-year old rampage over a controversial topic

Remember the reason all of this is happen is beacuse she got pissy over ONE comment and she's using her race as a sheild

This isn't a RACE issue this is an ETHICS issue and she's treating it like some Anti-Black Campaign

Nondi This is Unacceptable

Leave the internet or take a hiatus beacuse this is too far

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oddlittlestories · 7 months

Text

Picking this up from @lovelenivy

Seasons:

1. Seasons 4-6

i'm sorry, i'm so indecisive. these are my favorites, for wildly differing reasons. there's stronger plot arcs than 1-3, less overall animosity, the characters get to grow and change, and we're not on the downward spiral trajectory of later seasons.

s4 is so funny and also poignant. i love every single one of the cases and most of the patients.

Best episode: uhhhhhh why do you hate me. Frozen / Wilson's Heart

Favorite episode: Mirror, Mirror

Honorable mentions: all of them

Least favorite episode: either don't ever change or living the dream

s5 has some of my all-time favorite episodes too, plus some of my absolute-favorite Cuddy and Cameron moments, plus some truly great Thirteen times too

Best episode: Locked In, Lucky Thirteen

Favorite episode: Birthmarks

Honorable mention(s): Both Sides Now, Last Resort, Here Kitty Kitty, the Itch, Joy, Emancipation, Joy to the World

Least favorite episode: adverse events (kinda boring), saviors

s6 is just Hilson bliss. Plus I LOVE the Chase episodes ngl

Best episode: Broken

Favorite episode: Lockdown

Honorable mention(s): The Tyrant, Known Unknowns, Teamwork, Ignorance is Bliss, Wilson, the Down Low, Remorse, 5 to 9, Private Lives, Knight Fall

Least favorite episode: Epic Fail

2. Seasons 1-3

Classic House. Early days. Lighter on the plot arcs, darker on the interpersonal relationships. Less reflection in the episodes but also the characters just do absolutely off-the-wall stuff. 10/10.

Season 1

Best: Three Stories

Favorite: Three stories, under my skin

Honorable mention(s): Histories, Cursed, Control, Mob Rules

Least favorite: honestly idk

Season 2

Best: Euphoria, No Reason

Favorite: The Mistake

HMs: uhhh most of them

Least Favorite: Skin Deep maybe?

Season 3

Best: One Day, One Room & Informed Consent

Favorite: Son of a Coma Guy

HMs: Meaning, Cane and Abel, Que Sera Sera, The Tritter Arc, Needle in a Haystack, Insensitive, Airborne, Act Your Age, House Training, Family, Resignation, The Jerk, Human Error

Least favorite: also the Tritter arc bc I get anxiety every time lmao

3. Seasons 7-8

The Huddy stuff makes me sad, and I don't love the prison stuff either. (I don't even dislike Huddy but honestly the best Huddy moments? So not in these seasons.) I loved the c-word but overall these seasons shaved years off my life lmao

Best: the c-word

Favorite: Kyle

HM(s): the finale

Least favorite: not sure

Characters:

from favorite to least favorite of the main characters –

I love them all too much.

1. House, Wilson, Thirteen

2. Chase, Cameron, Cuddy, Kutner, Park

4. Masters, Lucas, Foreman, Amber, Alvie, Taub, Cole

6. Adams. I don't really care about her one way or another.

favorite ship: hilson (house / wilson)

underrated ship: thirteen / cameron, or chase / foreman

honorable mentions: lucas x cuddy, cuddy x stacy, cuddy x cameron

Tags:

anybody that wants to participate! i know it's kind of long so no sweat if you don't want to do it. i'm also indecisive so i had trouble picking episodes lmao

Also @greghatecrimes @queersolar @thefandomlesbian

#tag game #favorites #seasons rundown

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viciouslyfilthy · 7 months

Text

(( @xx-honkhonk-xx silly OC Valentine's thing for my best friend!! Although this turned out to be awfully long + I'm still gonna be here correcting spelling mistakes I might've missed ejdndn ))

Feel Good.

' The Lovers. '

René Magritte (1928)

Love forever, love is free

Let's turn forever, you and me

Windmill, windmill for the land

Is everybody in?

' LETTER FOR YOU, VANYA, MY AMAZING WIFE. LETTER FOR YOU, WHATEVER YOUR NAME WAS, MY FAVORITE BOSS. LETTER FOR YOU, CORNELIUS, MY BELOVED SNAKE BOYFRIEND. LETTER FOR YOU, GEORGINA, THE BEST WATER DISPENSER A MAN COULD ASK FOR IN HIS LIFE. LETTER FOR YOU, MIC AND CAM. LETTER FOR YOU, RANDOM CITIZEN THAT GAVE ME CARAMEL APPLES ON SATURDAY OF YEAR 2000, AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST, LETTER FOR YOU, ROK ROCK THAT SITS BY MY HOME EVERY DAY. -> MY NUMBER ONE PAPARAZZI !!! '

It was the third 'to do list' the man had made, the previous two having fallen victim to delirious scribbling as their user would grow increasingly manic, filled with energy, that he'd end up tearing through the paper with his pen, or scribble all over the entire page.

It was a very special day, and everything needed to be perfect. Every single microscopic thing.

Valentine's Day was Richard Hardwick's favorite day, his favorite time of worship: the day of love. The day where you exchanged gifts and spent time with your loved ones. Well... at least he intended to spend time with one person in particular that he actually gave a fuck about. His workplace? Don't be silly, nobody likes that; and besides, he only put up a facade so he would be the most liked individual, you'd be an imbecile if you genuinely thought he cared about your feelings. He was far better than you, so you best know your place. His wife? Sure yeah they were friends, but obviously it wasn't about her! What do you think this is, a Disney film?

No, no... the one that deserved Mx. Hardwick's full focus was that snake chef. The star of the lost episode 'Mornings with Dick Hard, episode 150: penetrating the cryptid's lair' (the episode of his show had gone 'lost' because the burial spots of the Cornelius' sacrificial victims had been recorded in it, so he threw the VHS tape down into the never-ending depths of the pit he had within his cave-palace).

And towards that snake is exactly where he was headed as he shoved sloppy love letters, full of words that were emptier than his pockets after Black Friday, in the confused hands of all who would pass by him. Some were puzzled, others saw stars at recieving something from their beloved idol and occasionally porn star, The Mx. Hardwick.

He'd spent the past two weeks just writing letters, copying and pasting the same words on each one. Of course he passed by his workplace to do the exact same process; he went to the houses of friends or anyone he had ever slightly interacted with after managing to find their location (them asking how he found their home address begun to grow quite annoying after the third time! Why couldn't they just be grateful he chose to waste time showing up in person so they could bask in his presence on such a holy day?!). And finally... the main event. Cornelius' cave-palace... Oh, he had it all so well-planned out already!

"HAPPY ST.'S VALENTINE'S DAY, SLAG!" he shouted into the cave, causing his words to echo- followed by him blowing a party whistle.

"CORNEEEEEEELIUS! OI, WHERE ARE YA?! BIG DAY TODAY. I'VE PLANNED IT ALLLLL OUT! WE'RE ON A TIGHT SCHEDULE! I'VE GOT MY CAMERA CHARGED TO RECORD EVERY SINGLE MOMENT OF-" he continued to loudly shout and make his presense clearer than staring at the Sun, until the serpent was standing in front of him with a furious expression as his snake-half quickly wrapped around the man and covered his mouth to get him to shut his infernal yap.

"Will you quit ssscreaming!?" He aggressively whispered as his face inched closer to the man. Richard nodded, and was granted his freedom once again- proceeding to shove 10 different letters in his partner's hands, followed by two boxes of chocolates and the largest bouquet of flowers he could find. Not once did Richard wipe that God damn smile off his face.

Versy's face immediately softened up as a smile appeared on his own face.

"Ooh! Why, thank you... How generouss~" the snake purred, needing his tail's aid to hold all that stuff.

"I've prepared you quite a few giftsss as well~" He added.

"More shedded skin??" Richard bluntly asked, "You didn't tear it off piece by piece this time did you? That bodypillow of mine needs a friend back home."

"What?! No! I've cooked for you!"

"Oh."

"And I might have gotten you ssome jewelry..."

"Oooh! Thank you, thank you! I absolutely love it! I shall unbox and review them at once!"

"I haven't even showed you the giftsss yet." Versy pouted as he attempted to open a chocolate box with one hand.

"There's no time for that. We've GOT to go to the local Lover's Lane, RIGHT NOW. In my SUV. so we can save space and have enough space to fornicate at exactly 10 PM right after our romantic dinner at Sloppy Joe's. You will ask me if I had plastic surgery and I'll tell you yes, and you'll compliment me and say-"

"Richard." Versy tried to interrupt.

"Yes! You'll say: Richard, my love, apple of my eye- you've turned into the most SPECTACULAR and beatiful man England's even given birth to! And I'll gasp and fake tear-up before saying-"

The salesman's controlling script planning was cut short by the serpent stuffing a couple of chocolates into his mouth.

"You wish. Everyone knowss I'm the most handssome, besides I think in the passt I've fully complied with you a total amount of zero. And it'ss been years since you've had sssurgery! You look the ssame as the day I've met you, mate."

"...Awe you cawwing me ugly and fat?" Rich muffled as he chewed and gulped down the treats he'd been given, his lips still pursed into a smile.

"No! I'm- ugh! Jusst hear me out, you wanker! YOU are going to ssit your arssse down in the kitchen and enjoy the gifts I've made you firsst. Then we'll go along with whatever you did."

"But-"

"Ah! Nuh-uh. ss Zip it. Go." He ordered like he was telling a dog what to do as he pointed downwards, towards a specific door.

Rich remained 'zipped' for exactly one minute, just silently observing his serpentine companion, always smiling. This would be unsettling to the average person, but neither of these two were average people.

"Well, gee! Why didn't you just say so before?" The man declared in his deadpan cheerful television-presenting tone, beginning his descent deeper into the snake's home.

"What do you think I've been trying to do sssince you barged in my home screaming?" Cornelius sighed in relief before following the man along.

"A man can only focus on so much. I couldn't hear you over the sound of my excitement."

...

Cornelius had prepared quite the brunch for his partner! As per usual, he went all out: steak with peppercorn sauce, mashed potatoes with pork chops, a heart-shaped strawberry cheesecake and cupcakes decorated with frosting to resemble Richard's face.

...yeah, screw the 'celebrity diet' he was attempting to do again, he had completely forgotten he was supposed to be more excited about the jewelry than the food he was trying to stray away from, how could he if Mr. Hutchinson would always make it look so bloody inviting?! The TV star moved like a zombie (or a robot) as he practically circled over the table like a fly, where to even begin?

"It's beautiful, thank you!" his voice remained with the exact same cheery-monotone, but there was a hint of genuine appreciation this time.

His stomach had been aching a while, so far only having had a 'Valentine's breakfast' with his wife at 6 AM; he didn't feel hunger as per usual- but regardless of that, it was clear he was hungry as he impulsively went to stuff himself with a cupcake, followed by a pork chop. He didn't seem to care much about mixing up foods that really don't go well together- such as that, or mashed potatoes and cheesecake...

'It's okay.' He'd remind himself, it's a special day and he's allowed to eat more than what he'd usually allow himself. A cheat day.

Versy smiled, seeing the man eat, clasping his hands together and just admiring his handsome partner! Not as handsome as him though.

...

He felt they'd stayed at Versy's home too long, too long! Two whole hours! Just eating and looking at all the pretty gems he'd gotten as a gift, and groping and licking the man's snake half, and admiring himself in the mirror with his new rings, and brushing his hair, and adjusting his tie over again! This wasn't how it was meant to go! Even though the restaurant reservation was at 6 PM... and it was currently only 1 PM, Richard acted as though they were going to be late for sure. The entire ride the man would ramble about how they should have been at Lover's Lane hours ago and overall reacted as if his house was about to be set on fire. Cornelius, on the other hand, seemed to be completely immune to the man's hysteria. Lets one only imagine how often he had to deal with this exact same behaviour.

First, he'd parked in front of his workplace to have lunch number two with his boss, significantly smaller than what his partner'd made him, which he was successful to finish this time. Then, visiting his water cooler dispenser again, just making sure she was okay. He felt sick already with all this running up and down, that usually doesn't happen until 4 PM!

The dinner date was a disaster. His preferred dish there was apparently 'out of stock', damn incompetent bitches. And to add insult to injury- Cornelius was not following the script! He was supposed to talk more than he ate! Like he did! And oh... oh, worst of all! His camera had ran out of battery! Now how was he supposed to record the rest of his special day?! Perhaps he shouldn't have kept it actively recording since this morning...

The Lover's Lane evening also didn't go too well... at least not according to Mx. Hardwick's plans. What with Cornelius spending more time poisoning and devouring couples that annoyed him by being noisy than trying to help Richard record his next sex tape somehow! You could tell the man's perpetual mask was beginning to crack since nothing seemed to be going his way on a day he absolutely needed it to be going his way. Growing more and more anxious with each passing moment.

"I cannot believe you!" Richard spat once they returned to Versy's home.

"What?! Not like you cared about those people!"

"I'm not talking about those lowlife mingers at the Lane, you absolute nutter!" The TV celebrity barked, maintaining his smile, although his expression from the eyes-up was complete fury.

Cornelius raised his monobrow in surprise, remaining silent. Richard continued:

"You-.. everything's ruined!"

The snake's surprise turned into unamusement, his monobrow now partly raised as he crossed his arms.

"I could not picture the day going any worse! I-I wasn't supposed to eat that much! Now my diet's ruined! And my camera! I couldn't even record our dinner date! And you..." he pointed towards the serpent, getting closer to him and pulling him down by the collar to reach his height and lowering his pink-tinted glasses to reveal his gaze, so the snake could look into his abnormally large, empty, soulless pupils; this was the first time his smile slightly faded, barely cracking as he said the following:

"You didn't even bring up my plastic surgery! All you did was eat, you ball of lard!"

Cornelius chuckled, "that'sss the point of a bloody restaurant, love." He wrapped his tail around the man's waist, catching him off guard for a moment so he could take his chance to continue speaking before him.

"I think you've, ah, ssspent too much time trying to make the day out to be sso 'perfect', that I don't believe you've had the time to enjoy one bit of it."

"No shit! Do you have any idea how busy a television Star is on a daily basis?!"

"I do."

"Wh- you do?"

"No, not really, ss."

That kind of left the man short circuiting for a brief moment. Cornelius continues:

"Well, I've enjoyed my day! It wasss quite the trip~"

"You did? Oh, of course you did! I did too. But what about..."

"Ssscrew your sscript, Richard! Jusst let things happen, the day wasn't 'ruined'. "

"..."

Cornelius paused, his monobrow furrowing before he actually processed what was said earlier. "Pardon? You enjoyed your day, but you didn't? Did I hear correctly?"

"Exactly! Today was my day and I did not fully enjoy it!"

The serpent squinted, mouth slightly left agape, "At all?"

Richard raised both brows and gasped, as if deeply offended, "what're you, nutty?? Of course I enjoyed it! But I needed it to be PER-FUCKING-FECT! So I could enjoy it even more!"

"Sssatan give me sstrenght. Dramatic much? ...instead of picking away at the minuscule inconveniencess, why don't you jusst enjoy the fact that you had a good day, and you are with me! Greatest honor of all!" Cornelius smiled, somewhat strained, gently wrapping his tail around Rich. The other man remained unphased, immobile. Stressfully smiling also.

"Ugh. Sure, yeah yeah. But do you even know who I am? Richard Hardwick doesn't do 'inconveniences'! It's either this, or that. No in-between!"

"Do you know who I am? The greatessst chef of the 19th century, and the mosst feared killer of it's times, sstanding right before you in the flesh. And not even I complain thiss much."

"That's because you don't know what being a TV celebrity is like, knucklehead."

Aaaand the arguing went back and forth, forth and back. Going from how difficult modern technology was to understand- to how technology and attention on the internet and on the news is the only way of living. Opposites attracting eachother much?

Alas, after spending the day practically emotionally isolated from one another as they acted as though they cared, it seemed that finally they both got some closure; currently cuddling as the snake coiled in on himself, holding the obnoxious little man with him. It was odd seeing him not smiling at all and being uncharacteristically quiet; he miraculously seemed to calm down enough to sleep.

At the end of the day, their love was strange in a unique way; there was no space in either of their hearts for anyone else but their individual selves. Nothing would matter more to Richard than Richard. Nothing would matter more to Cornelius than Cornelius. And yet, they tolerated eachother just enough to bond, if only a little.

#the serpent ( cornelius )#HAPPY VALENTINES DAY!!!! I HOPE EVERYONE HAS A GREAT DAY #suggestive cw #manipulation cw?#kinda ig since richard tries to be controlling of the situation djdjd #food tw #eating disorder tw

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cleoselene · 2 years

Text

I posted 2,636 times in 2022

That's 762 more posts than 2021!

484 posts created (18%)

2,152 posts reblogged (82%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@sylvieons

@mariacallous

@greghouse

@elon-musks-disrespectful-nipples

@eatmystardustloser

I tagged 2,334 of my posts in 2022

Only 11% of my posts had no tags

#lmao - 157 posts

#lol - 140 posts

#henry cavill - 138 posts

#taylor swift - 122 posts

#the orville - 89 posts

#shadow and bone - 83 posts

#ben barnes - 76 posts

#lmfao - 57 posts

#star trek - 42 posts

#baseball - 41 posts

Longest Tag: 140 characters

#i am like showing my age because i watched a couple eps of fleabag and felt scandalized like an old lady lol i was like oh no this is too yo

My Top Posts in 2022:

that 2022 existential dread feeling from watching DS9

Bashir: You know, Commander, having seen a little of the 21st century, how could they have let things get so bad? Sisko: That’s a good question. I wish I had an answer. [END EPISODE]

30 notes - Posted February 16, 2022

screaming at this amazing article:

“You see a single woman of 40, who has never had children – ‘Bless, that’s a shame, isn’t it? Maybe one day you’ll meet the right guy and that’ll change.’ No, maybe she’ll meet the wrong guy and that’ll change," he said. "Maybe she’ll meet a guy who makes her less happy and healthy, and die sooner.”

SCREAMING, I TELL YOU

68 notes - Posted May 13, 2022

legends only

293 notes - Posted June 26, 2022

Bill Nye wants you to vote and I know y’all love Bill Nye so there ya go

417 notes - Posted August 10, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Basic political concepts Americans should grasp

You have to vote in every election. Yes, every election. Not just the Presidential ones. You have to vote for Governor, Senator, Congresspeople – all of your state legislatures. You have to vote for mayor, city council, school board. You have to do this every single time. Republicans do this every single time. You can too.

It takes less time to tear things down than to build things up. This is why it’s so easy to be a Republican and accomplish Republican goals. They are destruction artists. It’s easy to eliminate rights, easy to eliminate social programs. Building and codifying and establishing these things is really fucking hard, takes time and patience. This sucks, I know. It sucks bad. But it’s just reality. So when you wonder why Republicans seem to accomplish more of their goals, it’s because their goals are to burn it all down. They’re not really goals so much as just torching shit.

Mistakes of the past will continue to haunt us and we will have to continue to fight against them. This really sucks, especially if you weren’t old enough to vote in previous elections. But we’re all handed what we’re handed in life, and the people who came before us who accomplished real change took what they were handed and did something with it, they didn’t just check out. And a lot of them fought really fucking hard so all of us could do #1 – VOTE. Do not spit on the memories of people who literally laid down their lives fighting for the right for all of us to vote by not voting or throwing your vote away.

We can learn a lot from the last generation of activists who accomplished significant change and a lot of those people are still with us, for now. Civil Rights Leaders still exist in our society, though they’re aging out. Take a look at what they’re saying, because you know what? They actually accomplished real change in their lifetimes, under really difficult circumstances. Believe it or not, there are older people you can learn from. We ignore the lessons of history to our peril.

Do you think you have something to offer? Run for local office. Or get involved with someone who is running for local office. YOU can make a difference if you get involved. But we also have to work together. Coalition-building has always been the key to liberal success.

752 notes - Posted June 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #i like all these top five posts #good content babes #thanks me

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leahseclipse · 2 years

Text

I posted 142 times in 2022

14 posts created (10%)

128 posts reblogged (90%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@leahseclipse

@leahblackk

@simibraun

@imagining-in-the-margins

@mydirtyvalentine

I tagged 40 of my posts in 2022

#lexies favs - 6 posts

#aot - 4 posts

#snk fic - 4 posts

#criminal minds - 4 posts

#stranger things - 3 posts

#stranger things fic - 3 posts

#cm fic - 3 posts

#aot fic - 3 posts

#spencer reid - 3 posts

#snk - 3 posts

Longest Tag: 58 characters

#he's so fucking pretty i nearly cried at work making these

My Top Posts in 2022:

Marry me (Emily Prentiss x fem!Reader)

Warnings: talks of hospital, car crash, blood and wound mentions (no major character death)

Summary: A car crash turns everything into a nightmare. (Based off episode 18 and 19 of S7 of grey's anatomy)

A/N: It's a bit of a random post, but I remembered I had wrote that fic for @imagining-in-the-margins 's wedding challenge, so why not post it! It's really a no beta we die like men in here, so there might be some mistakes. This was based off @fortheloveofwonderland 's prompt 🤗

Word count: 3.7k

As soon as the occasion presented itself, Emily and Y/N did not hesitate a single second to spend the weekend together, far from their home. Windows rolled down, their hands glued together as Emily had the other on the steering wheel, they couldn’t stop freaking out about the simple concept of ‘vacation’.

“How did this even happen? You never get days off. I can’t believe your phone hasn’t started ringing. This is insane.” Y/N moved her right arm around as she spoke.

“Right? I can’t believe it either. It’s been… months.” Emily said.

“We finally have a weekend to ourselves.”

“Just us and the little one.” she said, briefly looking at her when the road was empty. "Let’s enjoy the final weeks before she never lets us rest again.”

“You said it,” she sighed. “We’re going to fuel ourselves with coffee.”

Emily doesn’t answer to that, eyes on the road.

“Is something wrong, Em?”

She blinked, “No, I just… spaced out for a second. Sorry.”

“Oh, okay. That happens. Did you…” Y/N started to say, but the buzz of her phone stopped her. “Oh… He found out.”

“What?”

“Reid. About the… prank we did on him, that’s not going to be good when we come-” she rambled, before Emily yanked her phone out of her grasp; throwing it somewhere behind. Probably in the back seats, not that it matters. Emily wanted this phone away. “What was that?”

“Can you just… this time is for us. You see him all the time, so do I, but he's not here now! It’s just us.”

“Come on, he was just texting. I wasn’t going to stay on my phone all day.” she argued, “I gotta text back at least.” then unbuckles her seatbelt to turn around.

“What are you doing?” Emily yelled.

With her phone in her hand, she yelled back, “I’m answering the text! Calm down, he’s not getting more time than you with me.”

“You make me sound like I’m acting jealous, or something.”

“Are you?” Y/N asked, eyes on her phone.

“It’s kind of difficult not to be when you talk about Spencer so often.”

“He’s my best friend, am I not allowed?” she asked, defensively. Taking a breath, she looked away from her phone. “I am giving all my time to our couple, you, and the human growing inside of me, so I am allowed to do other things, like talk to my friend, just for a minute.” Then she stopped talking. Went back to her phone, and the car was as silent as ever.

It’s never been that silent.

They’ve never been so pissed off at each other, they’ve swore to stop when they had to, calm down and apologize.

There wasn’t any apology.

Just the light sound of y/n’s fingertips hitting the screen. That was pretty much it.

“Marry me.”

See the full post

48 notes - Posted December 13, 2022

Nothing ever lasts forever | E.M

STRANGER THINGS 4 VOL 2 SPOILERS

Pairing: Eddie Munson x gen!reader

Warnings: Death of important character, death mention, possible light mentions of s1-s4 pt1, graphic details

A/N: I'm sobbing too

It's been hard.

Incredibly hard without you around. I can't believe this isn't some dream, or hell, Vecna taking me in a very long trance. I wished it would be that for a while.

That, just a moment, it wouldn't be true. That you would just be there again. That I would still be in your room, surrounded by the heavy metal music, the scent of cigarettes, and your arms around me. The warmth of your body, and your breath tickling my skin as you kissed me.

I don't think I will ever love someone the way I loved you. I don't think anyone could ever make me feel like you did. I feel like a void every since that day, I stopped crying because I don't have anything left in me, I'm pretty sure I cried all the water I had.

For a moment, I waited the moment where I'd feel your fingers wipe my tears away. You would always do that whenever I cried, and now a stupid tissue has to replace you.

I won't see you again.

That's why I have to accept. But I don't want to, I don't think I can. I've known you for too long that I'm not sure I'm able to live without you.

You were one of my best friends, we've gone through hell and back together, almost died a couple times, but we've made it out, together. Every time.

You were supposed to have made it out. You weren't supposed to leave me standing all alone. Neither the others.

Having to see Dustin's smile disappear when he saw me come out the portal alone was the worst thing I've ever have to witness. I held him as he sobbed uncontrollably, as I told him what you told me before dying.

If everything goes back to normal after this, I promise we won't split up the Hellfire club. I will fight for it to stay, it cannot be shutdown. It's what you dedicated part of your life to.

I never understood a thing in the game, but I still came everytime, sitting with a book in the corner while I heard you and the others scream for hours. I stayed each time to put back everything in place, and walked out of the school with you.

Now, it'll probably stay empty for a while. The school might be closed for a bit, and the news didn't make it easy. They've promoted the club as a 'satanic cult', and everyone probably believed that.

If only they knew what this club meant. All the people in it, the memories, the bond we shared. It wasn't just a club, but also a family. You made sure everyone felt welcome there.

You took Dustin, Mike and Lucas under your wing when no one else did. They grew with you, became more confident, because you kept telling them to not care about others. To simply be yourself, because trying to be like someone else was 'completely and utterly ridiculous'.

We were sort of like... Parents for them. We looked after them as much as we could. Tried to protect them from everyone who tried to hurt them.

I would've almost kicked Jason in the face for harassing you if it wasn't for Steve separating us.

It took time for you to like him, you two have had fights before, but then the whole Vecna thing happened, and it somehow brought you closer.

He's been the one that's been checking up on me these last days, trying to bring me out and change my mind.

He's sort of saved me, I was doing kind of badly in my room, blinds closed, wearing the same clothes. I was a mess, yeah. I can admit that.

I can see it's hard on him too, but he doesn't show it. He's always been the type to keep things to himself, especially when others had problems. He preferred to comfort rather than be comforted.

Talking about comforting, I talked to your uncle with Dustin, the other day. He really cared about you, always believed you were innocent from the start, no matter what everyone said. He loved you, truly.

I'll make sure to visit him from time to time, we'll look after him, don't worry.

About the others, well, Mike and Eleven reunited, Nancy and Jonathan as well, Lucas ended up fine, but Max didn't.

She died, and then she came back. Ever since, she's been in a coma. No one knows if and when she'll wake up. We can just hope for the best, that's all we can do, unfortunately.

See the full post

52 notes - Posted July 2, 2022

2AM (Spencer Reid x gen!reader)

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Gender neutral Reader (there might be some very light fem!reader mentions)

Category: Angst with happy ending

Warnings: none I can think of!

Summary: The reader locked themselves out of their apartment out of the middle of the night, but a certain genius living down the hall might be able to help.

A/N: Excuse me if Spencer is OOC lmao it's been a WHILE since I wrote about him. Prompt is from @imagining-in-the-margins!! :)

Word count: 1.9k

There couldn't have ever been a day worse than this one, in my whole existence— not one that made me want to give up, go to my apartment and never go back to my workplace ever again.

First off- I arrived late. I didn't turn on my alarm the day before, and woke up at 8AM instead of 7AM.

One hour isn't a big deal, you would say. Well sure, for a high schooler.

I had to give that lame excuse, and well… they didn't believe it— everyone throws that one, so it gets old. I've had to work like hell all day to make up for the hour I've missed as if it was one week to my superior (the guy's a bit dramatic).

Second; on my way home, my car decided to stop two times. The little guy decided to play the old trick of the dying engine— turns out a bang on it is enough to stop that drama queen. It's really time I throw it away, I've had it since college. That car is lucky I wasn't on the freeway, I would have gotten yelled at for blocking the road.

Then— because the day didn’t stop there, one of the back tires ended up dying just as I found a parking spot. Here's to another-I-don't-know-the-high-price-of-it-repair off my bank account … as if I needed another bad event.

The finishing touch was when it started raining, and of course, I had forgotten my jacket this morning. Which meant that I had to walk in the rain because running would cause me to break an arm and end up in the ER with another-very-unknown-high-price.

By the time I got to the door of the building, it was around 2AM. I had to get up in 5 hours. Pretty great amount of sleep for the next day waiting for me.

I didn't even bother to check if the elevator worked. It worked one time out of two and could guarantee you a whole night of sleep inside if the doors would decide to not open.

I've already been there, except it was the afternoon. I watched at least two movies of two hours each before a technician even bothered to show up.

When I reached the fourth floor, and proceeded to put my hand in my left pocket where I always keep my keys— my hand didn't touch anything but the fabric.

That's… weird? Maybe it's in the others?

I plunged my hand in the right pocket, still nothing. I tried both of the pockets at the back— they were as empty as a bank account at the end of the month (trust me, I truly wasn't in the mood for jokes, but that just went through my mind).

I really started to panic after my unsuccessful attempts to find the keys in the pockets of my pants, they're always there! I haven't put them anywhere else in years.

I set my bag on the floor, took my flashlight and examined the whole bag— to the point of emptying it out on the floor out of despair, just in case I had missed it by whatever means— still no sign of them.

There wasn't any way I could have left it at work. I didn't open my bag a single time, all I did was re-organise files as soon as I arrived. I only touched my bag again when I left. It was in my locker, which was closed by a lock— so they couldn't have been stolen, lost, or whatever crazy scenario.

The only place left… right inside of my apartment. I had just locked myself outside at 2:30AM. Right when everything was closed. I could only hope my landlord could pick up, which wasn't 100% sure by looking at the hour.

Still, I took my phone again and dialed the number, just in case he happened to pick up.

I called once.

Twice.

Then soon, five times… all calls had gone straight to voicemail.

He wouldn't be answering until 8AM in the morning, which was impossible. I couldn't stay all night outside.

I started to get really upset, I had no way to get in, I've just had the worst day, I was really tired, I was cold and just wanted to change into dry clothes; this had to be a nightmare. I was cursing myself for forgetting the keys this morning as hard as I could, I couldn't believe I could have forgotten them, they were right there, on the table next to the door.

See the full post

74 notes - Posted June 8, 2022

If I only could I'd make a deal with God, and I'd get him to swap our places | E.M

Pairing : Eddie Munson x gen ! reader

Warning : ST4 VOL2 SPOILERS, possible mentions of graphic details, coma, BUT it ends well, it's a fix-it fic !!

Summary : After the recent traumatic events, Eddie has ended up in the hospital and fell into a come. Reader visits everyday, in hopes he'll wake up.

A/N : yes I needed to do that after what happened 🥲 this is my apology for the other fic LMAO @smalluniversecollector

W/C: 1.3k

It marks one month since Eddie hasn't opened his eyes, today. One whole month without him.

Without the sound of his voice.

Without moving his arms in all directions like a sugar - high toddler.

Without the sound of his guitar playing.

He's just been there, laying in this bed, doing nothing else. I just wish he was awake.

Without the smell of whatever thing he'd smoke.

A month without all of those things. I have to admit, it feels empty, not having those in my life. It's like the world doesn't make sense now that it doesn't have him to fill it.

He's just been there, laying still, doing nothing. We probably couldn't have gone out of the upside down without injuries, so I just wished he had something that wouldn't keep him so long at the hospital at least.

I wish Eddie wouldn't be the one going through this. I've been feeling so guilty with my sprained wrist, it's nothing compared to what he has, and I wish we could've swapped places. I love him so much that I would do that for him.

But again , he'd be the one worried to death , just like I am right now. The one that wouldn't be in a coma would still suffer in some way.

I just wish we would just have something that wasn't bad at least. I wish he'd be there with me, and that we'd just have to laugh about a stupid sprained wrist and something else kind of broken, but not fatal for him. He'd play non-stop with his crutches if he had to have those.

We'd switch between his house, my house, Dustin's, we wouldn't stop moving around.

If only that was the only thing that happened. I wouldn't be here, sitting all day, hoping he wakes up.

"You know, I actually knew you before." Eddie said.

"You did?" I asked, surprised.

"In elementary school. You probably don't remember, because we weren't even in the same class. We never talked. I was... Much quieter before, the quiet type that wouldn't have the courage to tell he liked someone. I always watched you, from time to time. I still liked you, even with your bad haircut."

"That one was horrendous! How did you still like me?"

"I guess I just really loved you. And I will always love you, even if you get a messed up haircut."

If only Eddie saw what I did to my hair. I couldn't stay with this upside-down-monster-blood on my hair, even if I'd wash it, and it reminded me too much of what happened— so I just cut it off myself.

It's grown a bit since, but everyone can still see how badly cut it is.

But he won't care, probably. He'll still somehow find me pretty, in some way, even if I have no idea how. I'll probably mess with him a bit, it's funny when he goes into attorney mode to defend his case.

I hope he has nice dreams, at least. I don't want him to be trapped constantly in a nightmare. It's best if he dreams of hellfire, moments we had in the cafeteria, when we smoked under the bleachers, or when we skipped school because we didn't want to go to science.

That's what I want him to dream about.

As I got up from the chair, taking my stuff, I approached his bed and took his hand in mine. He still felt warm, he wasn't gone.

See the full post

89 notes - Posted July 3, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

Hey baby, I think I wanna marry you // S.H

Pairing: Steve Harrington x fem!reader

Warnings: light mentions of ST s1-s4 events

Summary: With the help of the kids, Steve secretly organised a proposal to you.

Word Count: 2.3k

A/N: just thought this would be cute 🤩👍 sorry if it's kinda long and bad 💀

Steve could not express how much stress he had been feeling the last few days, between trying not to get caught, not to seem too suspicious, make sure the kids would do the same, try to spend time with you so you wouldn't worry— he was a mess inside.

But he didn't care.

He wanted to organize the most beautiful proposal he could do for you, he wanted you to remember it forever.

So... he asked for help to the only people he knew: kids. Except for Robin, and Nancy, but they were outnumbered compared to these children.

Besides, you liked them a lot. Steve thought that if you were to have any type of celebration, you'd want them here. They counted a lot for you two, you've known them ever since the incident that happened with Will— when you were in highschool with Jonathan.

And that's when you met the famous Steve Harrington. Famous was a good word to use, because he was. With his great hair, great face, personality and his 'keg king' title, who couldn't love this guy?

As for you, you were just a sort of outcast, hanging out with Jonathan in the corner and developing pictures with him in the red room between classes, the kind of people no one would pay attention to— you two were considered freaks. But you never really mind, you were fine with this lifestyle.

But people like Steve, Carol and Tommy would just have probably laughed at you, approaching them would only earn you a bullying session.

Therefore, you just stayed there, watching him from a distance. Jonathan always told you to stay away from this 'jerk'.

The first time you talked to him after those months of contemplation was at a party, Nancy had taken two extra flyers from a girl who was giving them out. She thought it would be nice for Jonathan and you to go and try to socialize a bit more.

Jonathan was reluctant at first, but eventually agreed when you said it'd be nice.

When you had gotten out of his car, you immediately felt overwhelmed by the number of people in and out of the house. You knew that no one would look at you in this entire crowd, but somehow you were still convinced you'd look like a complete clown in there.

You weren't a party girl, just a nerd that hung out with kids at the science club, played DnD with them after school, or just looked over them when their parents were busy. You'd be laughed at if they knew you played the role of the babysitter with them.

You weren't embarrassed by it, even if they were younger, they were still nice to be with, but you didn't need to get bullied; so blending in with the walls at school was better than that.

By the time you had gone in and turned your head, Jonathan had already disappeared from your sight. This had either meant that he had decided to chicken out, or that a certain girl named Nancy had gone to have a more-than-friendly chat with him.

As you made a path through the crowd, and made your way towards the drinks, you suddenly tripped on your own feet, ending up in some guy's arms.

Lifting your head up, you were met with Steve's worried eyes.

"Hey, are you fine?" he asked.

"Yeah, yeah, I am." you said, stepping away from his touch. "Thanks for... catching me, I'm sorry I almost took you with me in the fall. I wasn't drunk I just... tripped on my own feet."

Steve smiled, "It's okay, there's a crap ton of people here."

"Yeah, a bit... too much. That's true." you admitted.

"Do you... want to go outside the street, then? It's less crowded. Just in case, you know. But if you want to stay here, then I can stay or you can... Yeah." he stopped himself from rambling any further, bringing his hand in his hair.

"Outside is fine, if you don't mind. I wasn't supposed to come here to begin with.

Nancy dragged me here." you confessed.

See the full post

201 notes - Posted June 28, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

#tumblr2022 #year in review #my 2022 tumblr year in review #your tumblr year in review #Spotify

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scoups4lyfe · 2 years

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Hi Scoups, How are you doing? Everything alright?

Hey y’all

I’ve mostly been tripping through the whole mood spectrum

Last weekend I absolutely blacked out. I only remember like, getting breakfast on Saturday, searching for something online later that night(don’t remember what), and then talking with Nacho on Sunday night.

I don’t remember anything else. Not a single thing :x.

I’m not in a low, I’m more in the higher end (like 7-9/10) of the mood spectrum.

(For reference, tho my previous posts have the pic as well LOL)

Which is probably why I blacked out last weekend. I remember hitting an 8/10, feeling really really good, and then nothing else, really.

For a visual representation of what it feels like / looks like:

(Yes I’m putting another DPR Ian mv, that dude has my utmost respect. And again — he gets it.)

youtube

Basically — (cause I’m sure this looks wild, LOL), I’ve just been kind of out of my mind. — Not really myself. (Imagine me if I drank 32 shots of espresso at once.)

Like I had so much energy at work (my skin/insides felt like lightning ⚡️) that my hands were shaking uncontrollably and I was fkin ZOOMIN through my work.

(My boss didn’t say anything, so I’m assuming I didn’t make any mistakes 👻)

Mmm— That and the intrusive thoughts (who I’ve named Kyle <33. Absolute prick.) have just been constant chatter in my mind.

To the point that I think “Stop.” maybe 100 times or more — just constantly throughout the day. Sometimes I have to imagine myself fist fighting the intrusive thoughts (Kyle <33).

Which sounds wild but it’s just Ikki and Vice fighting in Revice episode 2.

—DPR Ian’s Seraph/ 1 shot / Mood Short Movie shows what intrusive / racing thoughts are like pretty well starting at time stamp: 3:10

Linked it in my posts awhile back.

That’s what is happening but like, throughout the entire day.

Tldr;

Definitely been in some manic highs since last friday, I’m okay (lol), I know enough about myself to stay at home / lock the doors and what not when I’m like this.

(And y’all know I’m REALLY tripping when I start writing haikus 🔥😱😔💀💀💀🔥🔫)

I also blame Nacho because they wanted to do a poetry slam (just on the spot) and the prompt was haikus 🧍🙈💀

Uh — I might liveblog this weekend.

#I’m at like a 7.5 rn #I feel a burning under my skin so I know the line between 7.5 and 8 #is very very thin #mmmm I’ll try to liveblog this weekend.#my haikus are FIRE actually. Me and Shinichi are NOT the same 🤪#my thougts #fvcking moodswings ⚡️✌️#asks #ss anon #kronthescoup #sentaisouped #4lyfe #dpr ian #bipolar

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hotarutranslations · 8 days

Text

2shot With Harusan Today

Evening

When I appeared as a guest, At Sawayaka Goro-san's birthday event,

A Goro-san and Ishida timeline was created, The timings of the breaks were all, Its the day I released a photobook~ I had written about it, on my blog as well but,

With this,

The day before announcing my last photobook release..

Therefore I was alone at the time like,

Huh? The photobook release announcement, Am I going to do it here, today..?

I almost announced it by mistake😇😇

It was greattttt foreshadowing😇😇

Since I really didn't know what we were going to do, It was gradually funnier on stage😇😇

I haven't put together the shoot offshots, so I'm not posting anything! The cover is out so its still fine!

Please look forward to a lot still

Profile.7

There are special original photos, depending on the site

Preorders are ongoing🌟

Tomorrow, Scawaii!-san releases🩷

Please definitely check it out��

Thank you very much, for todays exciting meet~~

Continuing from yesterday, today was also fun~~

Yesterday and today made me smile☺️🤍 But everyone has good smiles☺️🤍

I'm happy~~

Lets still do our best, after the holidays from tomorrow--!

This weekend, is already, Rockin'🔥

Wow, wow wow, Nuoaa,

Please don't be late everyone, to Rockin'

Please absolutely come! It seems you can still get tickets in time

By all means, I'll be waiting🎈

Thank you very much for the ceremonial pitch, at Rakuten Mobile Park Miyagi⚾️

youtube

Play▶️List

Debut song 48th Pyoko Pyoko Ultra~

I danced a lot on my own..

🕺

Graduation Announcement Blog🐣🪽

Hello! Station #531 I also talk about my graduation in this video

📺The MusiQuest 2024 They're airing a live digest from that day!

̗̀📣 Over-Air Broadcast September 14th (Sat) 4:00~4:30AM~ ̗̀📣 CS Broadcast September 28th (Sat) 12:00~5:00PM

📺Sendai Broadcast "Ara Ara Kashiko"

I appear once a month as part of the AraKashi Family

The previous shows, and makings, are on OX VIDEO STORE!

📺Hello Pro Dance Every other Thursday at 11:30PM~

Season 12 will start airing, On October 17th (Thurs)🕺

Thank you for following.. Instagram💙🩵

💿 August 14th new single✨ "Nandaka Sentimental na Toki no Uta/saiKIYOU"

youtube

🪩"Morning Musume '24 Concert Tour Autumn WE CAN DANCE!"

Its Ishida Ayumi's last tour💙 I'm looking forward to seeing you

🪩"ROCK IN JAPAN FESTIVAL 2024 in HITACHINAKA" September 22nd GRASS STAGE 10:30AM~

→Tickets are on general sale

📚SCawaii!

Releasing September 17th

Ishida and Oda will be published in it We had a shoot~

📻Morning Musume '24 Morning Jogakuin ~Houkago Meeting~

Airs Every Saturday, On Radio Nihon at 12:00AM~

Past Broadcast Episodes Are Available →Program Details

I visited as a guest🪽 "Sayashi Riho and The Time From Now On" presented by Meiji Bulgarian Yogurt

📻I visited as a guest🤍 Harami-chan no Harami Fan Radio♪

Web The Television

see you ayumin <3

#Ishida ayumi #Morning Musume '24 #Morning Musume #Inoue Haruka #Hello! Project #Translation #Blog #Youtube

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sunmarketing · 1 year

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Best of National Parks, USA and Canada

This is from 2019, which seems so long ago. It's a favorite. Notice the different opening.

In this episode: Faq, What to do when you get sick on the road? Destination: National Parks: USA and Canada, Mistake: Getting a haircut in Hong Kong Tip: Go where the locals go.

FAQ What do I do when I am sick while traveling?

Skip strenuous activities.

Take a long, hot bath or shower.

Eat foods that are gentle on your stomach.

Drink lots and lots of water, juice and tea.

Do you have insurance? Could you check with your health insurance firm before you go and get some if you need it? Out of the country, especially check this.

My Mexico City Experience

Food poisoning in Taipei

Today’s Independent Destination: National Parks

Why? Because they are not to be missed. Our national heritage. Why our country is so special. You will love America more after visiting.

$80 lifetime pass, plus a $10 handling fee. ...

Please note that the price of the lifetime Senior Pass increased to $80 on August 28, 2017. ...

For U.S. citizens or permanent residents age 62 or over.

May be obtained in person at a federal recreation site or through the mail using the application form.

The National Parks are such a great value for us independent travelers. If you are over 62, you can get a lifetime pass. Five free days in 2019, entrance only!

Monday, January 21: Martin Luther King, Jr. Day

Saturday, April 20: First Day of National Park Week

Sunday, August 25: National Park Service Anniversary

Saturday, September 28: National Public Lands Day

Monday, November 11: Veterans Day

Other fees such as reservation, camping, lodging, tours, concession and fees collected by third parties are not included unless stated otherwise.

America the Beautiful - 2019 Annual Pass

Cost $80 (U.S. Dollars) National Parks and Federal Recreational Lands Pass This pass, available to the general public, provides access to, and use of, Federal recreation sites that charge an Entrance or Standard Amenity Fee - for a year - beginning from the date of sale.

Pass holder/s and passengers in a non-commercial vehicle at per vehicle fee areas

Pass holder + 3 adults (not to exceed 4 adults) at per person fee areas. (children under 16 admitted free)

America the Beautiful - Senior Pass

$80 (U.S. Dollars) National Parks and Federal Recreational Lands Pass An annual senior pass is also available for $20. The pass admits the pass holder and passengers in a non-commercial vehicle at per vehicle fee areas and pass holder + 3 adults, not to exceed 4 adults, at per person fee areas (children under 16 are admitted free). The pass can only be obtained in person at the park.

America the Beautiful - Access Pass

Free National Parks and Federal Recreational Lands Pass This is a lifetime pass for U.S. citizens or permanent residents with permanent disabilities. The pass provides access to, and use of, Federal recreation sites that charge an Entrance or Standard Amenity.

In Canada, you can also get an annual pass, which can save you a lot of time in line. We bought a family pass last year in Banff, which was also good for other National parks in Canada. This is the Canadian Rockies. We visited the Banff Spring Hotel and had a wonderful experience. Lake Louise Ski Resort was a “bucket list” place for me. We stayed outside the park. A single park pass gets you to all national parks, national historic sites and national marine conservation areas operated by Parks Canada. The Discovery Pass provides unlimited admission for a full year at over 80 Parks Canada places, typically charging a daily entrance fee. Visit the Parks Canada Passes and Permits website.

Today’s Mistake-Getting a haircut in Hong Kong.

It was too short. I looked like a man. When I tried to get a bathing suit in a hotel, they gave me a men’s bathing suit, not a woman’s. That was not so good.

Today’s Travel Advice-Go to where the locals go. It may be a bar, a café, the local library, or church. Find out what the local people do in their daily lives. You don’t always need to visit the “touristy” places, just to say you were there. Consider your personal needs, desires, and interests. Follow them. Take a city bus or subway. I’ve always been able to get back to where I started, so that’s how to avoid getting lost, retrace your steps. Ask the locals, they want to talk to you, for the most part.

Check out this Dr Travelbest episode!

#travel #women #dr travelbest #best travel

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happyminyards · 2 years

Text

memorable shitposting kinnporsche edition

So, @yeetlegay suggested something a few days ago here:

I feel like we need an equivalent of the Damn Good Meta Doc (aka the bible for sexy ppl, brought to us by known goddess @luckydragon10) but like…for memorable shitposting. Y’all are some of the funniest people on the planet and I want a massive encyclopedia of your greatest hits that I can look back on and laugh over again.

Now, I’m a lady with anxiety who had important job decisions coming up. The implications were obvious. Brought to you with the help of copious amounts of coffee, two packets of sour candy snakes and approximately 10 hours of Deezer’s finest german lo-fi rap music playlist:

memorable shitposting kinnporsche edition aka The Damn Good Shitposting Doc

and its companion/girlfriend

@kpmemes aka a whole sideblog full of fun posts galore for your endless scrolling pleasure feat. a (hopefully accurate) tag system

With (as of right now) 513 posts from 160+ people clicking through the doc became a bit of a hassle, so I figured a blog that contains all the posts a: would be a nicer way to search and view things for some people and b: could come really in handy in case of broken links. The blog doesn’t quite contain every post from the doc yet with around 100 missing (postlimit got me), but the queue should fill the remaining gaps in the next few days. (Also the tag page is still iffy on mobile, working on it!)

Now, tagging every single person who has a post in the doc would probably break tumblr (I do have the list though in a handy excel table if anyone wants a whole bunch of fun blogs to follow), but I need to give a special thanks & shout out to @moerusai @yeetlegay @snake-and-mouse @rythyme @onstoryladders @biochemjess @blessyouhawkeye @daltoneering for their super valuable and well-filled tags/blogs that managed to actually lead me to the bulk of these posts. Y’all probably saw me do some weird shit in your activity over the weekend, sorry! And above all major thanks to @luckydragon10 for allowing me to basically copy-paste her structure from the meta doc & @iffervescent for inspiring most of the meme categories with the brilliant KP Fandom Primer. Also shoutout to @poemsforpersephone for letting me pester her with updates while recovering from Covid, you’re the real MVP and I will continue to pay you with KimChay memes. Last but not least: if you have posts that should be in here or suggestions in general please send them my way @kpmemes or on this blog, via ask or mentioning. Same goes for any broken links or mistakes you’ve caught (and I’m sure there will be some). Anon is on. Especially stuff for early episodes and pre-show is MUCH appreciated since I only joined after episode 6 and tumblr’s search isn’t exactly helpful. Also I know there have to be some Tay/Time/Tem shitposts out there.

Long term I’m also thinking of including youtube videos and twitter posts so feel free to also send them my way. And now, happy scrolling!

#kinnporsche #meme doc #kinnporsche the series

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xion92 · 2 years

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TMMN: Masaya/Ichigo relationship analysis, episode 7

Hi everyone! Before starting the analysis of this episode, I have a question for you all: do you have any contacts with the producers of the old anime? I’d kindly like to write to them, and say to sit down, watch this anime and learn from this series how to characterize a character.

Folks, this show is treating Masaya very, very well. It’s giving him a great depth, which even the manga didn't have. Yes, the scenes are mostly from the manga, but it adds a lot of little things that dig his character even deeper and give even more meaning to this couple's bond. I don't know if Ikumi is behind all this, but if this is the case I can only be immensely grateful to her. Let's start, then.

Let's start by saying that this episode actually combines the last chapter of volume 2 and the first of volume 3. Condensing two chapters into a single episode, you'd think: they cut things, surely there will be less depth, the dynamics will not be understood. But it’s not like this.

So it begins with the scene that alone gives 10/10 to the episode. Ichigo falling asleep in class and having a dream about Masaya. Note that here, unlike in the manga, he dreams of kissing him. As in episode 4, he goes much further than the manga. Among other things, we finish seeing her dream before she actually wakes up (”Aoyama-kun, you’re so bad”...lol 🤣 what are you doing with him in your dream?), at this point I wonder how much further she goes with him in her fantasies 😁

An aspect of Masaya's character that I’ve always appreciated: he also likes Ichigo's carelessness and jokes about it with irony, but in any case he always helps her to solve the problems she caused. Oh, another nice foreshadowing: the blue handkerchief!

Ichigo, what did you want to do here, crash into him and throw him to the ground to kiss him again by mistake? 🤣

And it’s wonderful that Ichigo has fantasies of him kissing her and leaning her against the wall and in real life holding his shoulders from behind is enough to get her excited up to this point.😆

This part is very important: in those days, between her who was chasing Zakuro and him who had training, they talked a little. Clearly they are not a couple yet, at least officially, since in my opinion the ending of episode 3 was quite eloquent in this regard. But that's okay, relationships need to be developed slowly and they'll probably get together at the end of the season. Masaya is busy with kendo these days, so for the moment she is content to give him her support in words and starts to walk away from him.

Masaya shows, again, his impetuousness which he has already shown before, but which over time he’ll show more and more. He doesn't ask her to wait, he actually stops her by taking her by her arm, again showing how he can't handle his actions when he gets excited. He too wants to go out with Ichigo again and spend time with her because he wants to get to know her better, admitting between his lines he likes her. And then something happens that I wanted so much to see but didn't really believe they actually would do: as far as possible, the authors let us hear his thoughts. I say "as far as possible” because with him they have to be careful. Just one word in excess, and you might understand that he’s no ordinary guy. But they give us as much as they can.

Oh, a tip to the animators: when you draw a new eyebrow to replace the wrong one, you should erase the wrong one. I hope this error is eliminated in the DVD. 😆 Anyway, here he thinks "if I know more about you ..." and I conclude it: "...I will be able to understand why I feel so weird with you."

And in fact when she goes away he asks to himself "what is this feeling?" Poor darling. Again, he's in love with her but he doesn't realize it and he doesn't know how he feels about her. This scene is similar but also different from the manga: in fact, there we didn’t hear his thoughts and there was no torment of not understanding what the feeling he felt was. Of course, you could have arrived at it through reasoning, but seeing it on screen in such a blatant way is another matter entirely.

We then see a scene that we never saw in the manga: Masaya interacting with his training mates. Here they mostly talk about the Mew Mew, but from their lines, such as the fact that his mates know that he always talks to a girl but not her name, we understand that Masaya is very reserved, he doesn’t talk to them about his personal things (they know that he always talks to Ichigo only because they saw them together, certainly he didn't tell him about her) and he has no real connection with any of them. Masaya is a guy who until now has always been alone despite being always surrounded by people on a superficial level, Ichigo is the only one who has managed to get close to him on a personal level and to involve him with actual feelings.

Adorable that Ichigo, as in the manga, made for him a cat-shaped lucky charm, which here acquires a deeper meaning, since she learned in episode 3 that he has a soft spot for cats. Besides, she made it with the same color of her fur, and she put a red bell like hers, as if to say: with this lucky charm, you’ll always keep me with you.

And here comes out what had already been glimpsed in the previous episodes: Ichigo's paranoia, which here compared to the manga has a different reason. In the manga, she is basically scared because she fears she is being discovered by him. In the anime, however, she feels terribly guilty because she lied to him, and she is sure that if he finds out the truth he’ll never forget her and he won’t speak to her anymore. She walks away like that because she feels like a bad person, she almost regrets letting their relationship go on like this, because it's hard to go back now, she knows that, if she continues to stay with him, she will have to keep lying to him and it doesn't make her feel good. Moreover, she knows that he, of all people, is the one who came closest to discovering her identity, and indeed it’s like this, even if Masaya at this point in the episode still has some doubts.

I loved this line, which wasn't in the manga: I didn't see you, but I felt you were there. He already has such a high connection with her that he feels her presence even if he can’t see her.

And he tries asking her: are you that Mew Mew? Because Masaya has no idea what Ichigo thinks about it, and surely there wouldn’t be any problem for him if she answered yes, so she asks her such a direct question. He loves her for who she is, she was the first person to make him feel real feelings, what does he care if she's a Mew Mew? But of course Ichigo doesn't know it, and such a question would be a big deal for her. I always wondered what she would answer him if he could finish the question.

The detail of this scene is beautiful: as soon as they perceive the danger, they instinctively go close to protect each other in case of need. And in fact the danger arrives. And here we have something great, which surpasses even the manga, in my opinion.

Remember this scene? Before watching the episode, I was a little worried about the lack of Quiche, because in this manga scene we have Masaya who openly stands up to him, and Quiche also compares him to Ichigo, because Masaya has a strong personality like her. And I thought, without Quiche there won't be this scene and something of Masaya's character will be lost. Instead, the anime also gives us something better.

He doesn't just scream, he not only dodges Ichigo from the attack, he takes a stick and fights alone, when he's still just a normal boy, against monsters! Moreover, to protect Ichigo, which was not there in the manga because he was alone. What a man! It’s therefore not important Quiche’s missing, because the point of that scene in the manga wasn’t to show their interaction, but to show how strong Masaya was. And this is shown to us perfectly in the anime, in a different and better way, so once again, I totally approve of the change that has been made. Furthermore, Masaya manages to resist enough against monsters, taking advantage of the skills he has developed in kendo (in which he is skilled because he was created by a god who uses the sword as a weapon).

Ichigo then, even if at that moment she can’t transform because she’s with him, she doesn’t stay still, leaving him all the work, but she too takes a stick and tries to help him. Even from these signals, despite the misunderstandings that will constitute an obstacle for them up to volume 5, we can see how they are building a healthy relationship, made up of mutual help and support.

Only when Masaya is hit and the wasp is about to kill him, Ichigo decides to transform to save him, even if she’s there in front of him. And here we have something that wasn't in the manga. In the manga, Masaya at the end of the chapter is not sure Ichigo is a Mew Mew, and he says so in the last panel of the chapter: he is suspicious, but it can't be. Here, however, even if the lines the characters exchange are almost the same, from the shots and the tones of the voices we understand well that Masaya understands perfectly in this moment that Ichigo is a Mew Mew. Also because as she transforms, he sees her clearly and his suspicions are definitively confirmed.

The subs are inaccurate. He actually tells her “kimi wa Mew Mew”, "you are a Mew Mew", as in the manga, but in the manga the interpretation is deliberately ambiguous. He could mean "ou in a generic sense are a Mew Mew", or "then you Ichigo are really a Mew Mew". In the anime, on the other hand, you understand what he means by the tone of his voice, and it is very clear that it’s the second. He's clearly saying "Ichigo, you're a Mew Mew."

Poor Ichigo, crying ... it makes me really sad to see her like this. She understood what it actually happened, he know who she is. She’s desperate as she fights because she knows that this is the end of their relationship, as she’s sure he will be angry with her because she has been lying to him all that time. However, notice that it's all a film that she only made in her own head, because she has no idea how he thinks about it. He would accept her anyway and forgive her for lying to him, but she is instead convinced that he won't want to have anything to do with her anymore.

When the fight is over, we have another proof that Masaya has understood who she is. As she begins to walk away, he calls her by name, and not insecure, as a question, as if he was looking for confirmation. In the manga he calls her by name in the previous chapter, here instead, since they condensed the two chapters, they moved it here. In that scene of the manga, however, he calls her uncertainly, a sign that he is not sure. Here, on the other hand, he is sure and calls her without doubts in his voice.

And at this point, as the title of the episode also says, it is clear what she wants to do. Out of guilt and fear of how he might react, she is ready to say goodbye first, perhaps because it would be less painful than hearing him say goodbye. This is the first of two times in which she will say goodbye, moreover with the same phrase: “ima made, arigatou”, “thank you for everything”. This is the first time, absent in the manga, in which she only thinks it. The second time will be in the rain after the Tokyo Tower battle, probably in the end of the season, where she’ll really tell him, and it’ll be the exact moment when he’ll realize he’s in love with her.

And then she simply says "ja nee", which could also just mean "bye, see you later". But said with that expression and with that tone, it’s clearly a farewell, it’s clear that if she had left at that moment, she would never have approached him again. But then, the turning point: in the manga Masaya stops Ichigo because he actually wasn't sure of his suspicions, but here the things are different.

Masaya knows that she’s Ichigo, but realizing that he is losing her, he panics and first yells at her to stop, as to tell her “don't go away from me”. He then thinks about it for a couple of seconds and immediately makes up for having mistaken her for that girl he knows. He has no idea why she is keeping her identity hidden from him, but he knows that if he proves that he knows her, she will go away from him. So, if the condition for her to stay with him is to pretend he doesn't know anything, then he’ll play that part. She is too important to him, and he’s willing to do anything to keep her with him. From the tone of his voice while he’s saying it and the fact that he looks down, it’s clear he’s not sincere with what he says and that he is making it up. To reinforce what he said, he also asks her who she is and if she can at least tell him this. In the manga, his is a sincere question, because he’s not sure if Ichigo is really her. Here, however, he already knows, but he asks it to her to convince her even more that he knows nothing about her. In fact, before those further questions she’s still doubtful whether he knows or not, but after he asks her who she really is, she is convinced that he doesn’t know, and she’s relieved, because she has understood he hasn’t recognized her.

And at this point I wonder why the authors didn't give the warriors a completely different name to make them protect their identity, as they did in Sailor Moon. "I'm not Usagi, I'm Sailor Moon." It’s okay. Here instead ... "I'm not Ichigo, I'm Mew Ichigo." And she tells him even with a convinced tone! 😆 It’s like calling their secret base “Café Mew Mew”. Great coverage, guys, you really want the paparazzi around you.

However, Masaya already knows who she is, even if Ichigo had had a different superhero name it would have been the same. And at that point Ichigo says "ja nee" again, but in a completely different tone than before. She’s cheerful and happy, a sign that she no longer means it as a farewell. Masaya instinctively tries to stop her anyway, but he’s no longer in panic as before. He knows Ichigo will stay with him, but still that is a pretty shocking discovery. But in that moment it doesn't matter, his only thought is to find her again as soon as possible.

Another proof he has understood who she is, he immediately goes to look for her in the very place where Mew Ichigo has gone away. Can we dare a dubbing award to Yuuma Uchida? He already has a lot of them, I'm sure, but here he’s truly a monster. Even though he calls her passionately all three times, you notice the change in his tone when he sees her sitting against the wall. He first calls her loudly, but only to find her. As soon as he sees her there exhausted his voice becomes worried and agitated, and it’s agitated even when he asks her if she’s okay. Yuma Uchida… they couldn't find a better voice for Masaya!

In the manga at this point he lifted her torso off the ground, but here Ichigo is already leaning against the wall, so it wasn’t needed. And all the additions in the anime make up for that! Especially the scene now.

She manages to give him the lucky charm she had prepared, an indirect way of telling him she loves him and she supports him, and Masaya, unlike the manga, where in this scene he didn’t say a word, clearly shows his emotions, those emotions that only she is able to make him feel and that still he can’t explain. In the anime it’s him, and not Ichigo, who realizes that she has given him a gift. Surely it’s not the first gift that he receives in his life, but it’s the first gift he has received with feeling and from a person he loves in turn. In the manga, he didn’t even thank her, here instead, after gazing the lucky charm and realizing what it means, he blushes so much and thanks her warmly. A lot of feelings are shining through every action of him, in a way that he has never shown in any of his previous incarnations.

Awww, how adorable he is! Masaya is generally represented in two ways in this anime. Like a cool guy or like an adorable puppy. Here is the second. This is the same character who said at the beginning of the series that mankind is full of sins. And now he's all in love with a member of the species he hates so much.

And then we have a final exchange, also a nice anime addition. In the manga the two separate because he has to go back to training, but not here. She wants to be close to him while he trains, not just hope he wins like she said earlier in the episode. He’s obviously more than happy that she’ll stay with him during his training (he’s still blushed), and therefore from here on an issue that worried me a bit is resolved: in the manga, Masaya and Ichigo are together only a few more times before he declares himself to her (when they go out together, they meet Ryou and she turns into a cat, and when she feels sick and he takes her to the infirmary). They’re actually a very few meetings for such a declaration. Instead, here, with this little additional interaction, we have the confirmation that only some of their interactions, the most important ones, are shown to us, but they stay together and bond even off-screen. That's just great! They have every opportunity to stay together both before and after training and thus to bond even more.

And all ends with a vision of the sky with cherry petals, and Ichigo is very happy because she’ll be able to continue to be with Masaya. Keeping lying to him and feeling guilty about it, but right now she doesn't care. She just wants to be with him, the other problems are not important.

And with this episode 7 ends. Guys, during the first episodes I kept my expectations low because I didn't want to be disappointed, but after all things they gave us, and especially after this episode, my expectations are rising more and more . You can feel the difference with the old series, in which the authors seemed to have put this couple only because they had to do it. Here, on the other hand, you can feel how much love and care they are putting into characterizing both him and his couple with Ichigo. They are giving us so much, if you are a fan who loves Masaya and the canon couple, they are giving us a wonderful gift. It had always been my dream to see Masaya and this couple shine like a bright star in a new adaptation, and that's exactly what they're doing. I will never be grateful enough to Mia Ikumi, Reiko Yoshida and the creators of this anime for these characters, this couple and this huge gift!

Now, as the next one is the ship episode, I'm sure Masaya won't be there, so I'll gladly take break. See you again in episode 9!

#tokyo mew mew new #ichigo momomiya #masaya aoyama #ichisaya analysis

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mandareeboo · 4 years

Text

SU Music Rankings

Bc I can and I wanna start some Disk Horse rip. These are all in order of preference, with explanations, etc. It’s a long bitch. That said, I’m not counting little short jingles or small joke songs like Little Butler. This is the meat and potatoes of SU music- just under 30 songs. I might do the rest if people like my takes lol.

I scored it mostly on three bases- how dear it was to my heart, how much/often I relisten to it, and also what it means to the plot. That said, little fun songs don’t automatically go farther down than big, plot-heavy songs either! It’s a strange little balance.

Special Note: I don’t dislike any of this music! I love SU and that includes its bumps and glitches. I just pick favorite children lol.

1.) Change

Was there ever a more Steven moment than when he wiped the blood off his face and kissed it into sparkles? I think not.

If “Be Wherever You Are” is an ode to young Steven, then this is teen Steven’s. Talking about change, and how much and how little it can do. How he holds his arms up for Spinel to hug him, so trusting. How he seems able to just. Break into soft tears at will, and not to be manipulative- it’s just his kind nature. The warmth in his voice. Fuck yesssss.

2.) Change Your Mind

This song is only fifty five seconds and it’s EVERYTHING to me. It really felt like someone was speaking the words I’d always held deep inside of me, unsure of how to say. It feels like a goodbye to someone who never really loved me.

As much as I enjoyed Future, if this was the finale of SU, I would’ve been perfectly okay with that.

3.) Drift Away

This song gave me legitimate shivers the first time I heard it, and it still haunts me to this day. Spinel stayed, and waited, and all she got was a transmission thousands of years later. Fuck.

4.) Here We Are In The Future

THE MOVIE IS SU AS ITS BEST AND I WON’T BE SWAYED ON IT. Steven being a teen who loves his weird family but is growing just a bit sarcastic to their drama. The adorable love he and Connie share. His slow realization that he will always be working, always have things to do, is both somber and real. The Crystal Gems won’t be safe with one epic battle. They’ll be safe with years of hard work and love. HIS LITTLE HANDSHAKE WITH AMETHYST.

This is a helluva bop and a great way to summarize the main character’s backstories.

5.) Let’s Only Think About Love

Did ya’ll know that Zach Callison killed his throat with that last note? He gave his all for this performance in a vocal range he no longer comfortably do and by god did it SHINE. The FLAIR. The FORESHADOWING. All of the Gems all being awkward about Rose and Steven trying to bring them to the present. Peridot having a mini-existential crisis in a cute yellow dress. I love Zach Callison’s normal singing voice but man is that a fucking bop. Nothing will ever beat it.

6.) Here Comes A Thought

This bad boy helped me out a LOT with some mental issues I was dealing with in high school. I was unmedicated, unsupervised, and full of anxiety. I’d have break downs when I tried to speak about certain things. I couldn’t function. This song inspired me. It helped me feel okay with my intrusive thoughts.

And the episode! -chef’s kiss-. Once again bringing up the morally gray area of training child soldiers. Connie expanding her social group. Steven’s trauma hauling ass in that second half. The ANIMATION. Stevonnie’s gorgeous singing voice. GOD yes.

7.) It’s Over Isn’t It?

Just barely squeaking above Stronger Than You, this ballad is everything gorgeous. The whole episode is. I think Mr. Greg stands in the top five of my episodes for the entire show. It even got nominated!

There’s just so much about this song that I love. The gentle melancholy of Pearl’s voice. How the crew had to redo the shots for this bit bc Deedee went so fucking hard. The hard cuts between Pearl, remembering the love of her life, and Steven, who has begun to feel like he took her away. I’d recommend this song to anyone, regardless of what they do or don’t know about SU, simply bc it tugs so many heartstrings of love, loss, and responsibility.

8.) Stronger Than You

Did you realize this episode aired SEVEN years ago? This bitch was what got me into SU! Hearing about Ruby and Sapphire made my little gay heart so happy inside, and then getting a whole song confirming that they were a couple, that their love powered the strongest Gem on the team? Aaaaaaaaa

To this DAY I get excited when I hear Estelle start singing. This song is timeless. This song will live in media history. God I fucking love this song.

9.) Other Friends

I’m not the biggest musical person, so I hadn’t heard of Sarah Stiles before her casting as Spinel, but JESUS CHRIST the lady went hard. She went SO fucking hard. Sarah Stiles started on 100 and somehow just kept CLIMBING. You can just hear the sheer manic energy building in her voice, the anger and resentment. 10/10 Sarah Stiles is a queen.

10.) Independent Together

This made the list entirely bc the crew was like “you’re gonna get a himbo ass Steven-Greg fusion singing with Opal while Garnet flies across the moon on Lion while floating” and I am forever thankful to them for it

11.) Who We Are

Bismuth deserved more songs. ‘Nuff said.

12.) Peace and Love (On the Planet Earth)

It Could’ve been Great is EASILY one of my favorite s2 episodes. I love the entire concept of this song. Of Steven making music to reflect how much Earth means to him and his family. Of him teaching Peridot some self-care. Also Peridot’s singing voice is really cute and squeaky.

I know it’s silly, but I would’ve really enjoyed a flip around of this in Future! Like Peridot reminding Steven how much he loves music, that he needs to take time to relax for himself, maybe with a new verse or just a remix of the original song!

13.) Something Entirely New

I watched this episode as it aired, and I legitimately almost cried. I love Charlyne Yi’s voice so much ya’ll- her raspy, not perfect singing voice against Sapphire’s deep soothing lull is great.

And to have Ruby and Sapphire’s meeting be the way it was- for Ruby to bemoan Sapphire losing Homeworld, to being stuck with a single Ruby, while Sapphire is a noble who has always been taught everyone in her “caste” is vitally important (and has, in her own mind, taken that to mean every Gem, as she should) and how they come together and make each other happy. Good shit good shit.

14.) I’m Just a Comet

The fact that Greg’s music career never really blasted off pisses me off to this day bc Tom Scharpling’s voice is fucking BUTTER. Also the song really feels like a jab at his parents now that we know the kind of dynamic he had growing up. “This life in the stars if all I’ve ever known” is definitely him wiping away their existence after reminding them (and himself) the things they used to say about him.

15.) Do It For Her

This episode. This fucking episode. This episode got me permanently hooked on SU. I’d just binged season 1 and was kinda meh about it overall after the bop of Stronger Than You. “Oh,” I thought to myself, foolishly, “I’ll probably just casually watch this from time to time.”

Like three days later Sworn to the Sword aired and that was it. I was hooked! Pearl’s gentle training song turning darker and darker, Connie’s accompaniment from nervous to determined to fully into such a toxic mindset. The fact that SU had the BALLS to discuss the repercussions of training child soldiers, now and later. This episode was everything to me, STILL is everything to me.

Six years and well over 100 fanfics written later, I think it’s safe to say this show swallowed me whole and never let go.

16.) System/Boot.pearl_final(3)

I debated putting this on the list because it’s not anything crazy important, just a way to show things are Wrong, but I had to do it entirely bc Pearl is so damn SALTY.

Like telling us about the Gems makes sense, she felt like she was given a duty, but she went so damn petty. WHY is that Ruby alone. Gross. This Amethyst is a trash dump. Wtf are you people.

17.) Full Disclosure

This episode really feels like a turning point for SU. Before, the show had its dark moments- but now we’re in the thick of it, and it’s not going away. Full Disclosure felt like an rebuff to the idea of returning to any normal we’d established in season 1. Gems are actually a giant species now. Gems tried to kill us now. There’s this Yellow Diamond bitch who got namedropped. Something about a Cluster.

The song itself is BALLER, with its ingenious use of Steven’s ringtone and photos as he tries to decide whether to clue in Connie on all this nonsense. Meanwhile we, the audience, already know damn well Connie about to yeet some common sense into him.

18.) What’s the Use of Feeling Blue?

I’mma admit it- I’m a Yellow Diamond stan. I’ve always loved her- her anger, her poise, her hardworking nature. I actively argued against the “Yellow Shattered Pink” theories back in the day. But, man, when this arc leaked? I got so overexcited I was too jittery to watch it for like two days. It’s easily my favorite arc of the series. The sheer alien nature of the zoo, the Famethyst, and absolutely Patti Lupone’s beautiful ballad. Goddamn. Yellow singing to Blue to try and help her regain her old status, the warble in her voice as she reminds Blue she misses Pink too, the movement of the bubbles as she talks about attack. It gives me shivers to this day. FUCK.

19.) Tower of Mistakes

This is, fun fact, that only SU song I have completely memorized. The story itself is kinda funny! See, we lost internet at my house for a solid 5 to 6 months when these episodes aired, so I only got a very brief window to view them all. But this was the first Amethyst song in a long while, and I didn’t want to forget it! So I keep replaying it in my head for ages. And that’s still definitely a thing.

Anyway will never not be sad that this entire song was about making it up to Garnet for Amethyst’s perceived slights with Sugilite (which was a two-way road), only for Garnet to pressure her into fusion later when pissed and never discuss it again bc Garnet probably never thought twice about it and Amethyst has the emotional openness of a clam that’s just been told its ugly. Helluva way to make someone feel like shit, G. Helluva way to bottle that shit, Ames.

20.) On the Run

I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a million times: Amethyst! Needed! More! Songs!

The dichotomy between Steven’s play and Amethyst’s honest desire to run away from home is so well-done, especially when you consider a lot of Steven and Amethyst’s actions are playing together. The song is also near and dear to me simply bc it’s my favorite Amethyst episode to exist (well, maybe second to What’s Your Problem, but not by much). Moments like these are all the proof I need that they were right to fuse first.

21.) Be Wherever You Are

This tune really just feels like an ode to who Steven was as a kid. Trapped on an island with no way home, and he’s just happy to be with his friends. The stars are beautiful and not oppressive. Also that one animatic with Lars and the Off Colors playing in the Homeworld Kindergarten to this music was iconic and made this song get stuck in my head for a solid month.

22.) Familiar

I ADORE how the crew use bright neon colors to show how alien Homeworld can be. And Steven recognizing that the Diamonds treat him how the CGs used to, and how prepared he is to “fix” a broken family. It’s a soft, gentle tune about melancholy. Also the Pebbles are beautiful.

23.) Let Me Drive My Van Into Your Heart

Such a cute little love ballad, but every time I listen to it now I just imagine the heart attack Rose must’ve had at the line “And if we look out of place/Well, baby, that's okay/I'll drive us into outer space.” like there’s a Vietnam war flashback if I ever heard one

24.) What Can I Do?

I’m kind of neutral on this one? Rose and Greg both have great voices, but the song itself lacks many lyrics. I think it was definitely a good way to show Rose’s flaws in thinking.

Also, I’m shocked they managed cram that much vaguely sexual innuendo into two minutes, followed by how Not Hetereo that dance between Rose and Pearl was, and not get their asses chewed by it. You go guys.

25.) Cookie Cat

I love a lot of the vibes this song has. The lyrics are so damn prophetic, but they also sound like the kind of weird 90s commercials I grew up on. It’s been like two decades since I saw the Shirley Temple commercial but I’ll be damned if I don’t remember “Animals crackers in my soup! Monkey and rabbits loop-de-loop.”

26.) Giant Woman

I am. NOT the biggest fan of Steven’s original singing voice. I feel bad saying that, since it was just Zach Callison as a kid, but he never jived well with me for some reason. So I wouldn’t listen to this on the fly.

The song itself is still really good though, with all sorts of fun animation of Amethyst and Pearl being bitchy to each other. It’s a bit sad in hindsight to see tiny Steven trying to get his moms to get along. Ahh, season 1.

27.) Strong in the Real Way

This song has SUCH a strong start. Pearl reflecting on Sugilite’s problems, but the show making sure to show us that Pearl’s lack of enthusiasm towards her also lends itself to jealousy as well as just general malaise. How much she cares about Steven, and wants him to grow up strong.

And then Steven just kinda. Ruins it? I appreciate his enthusiasm for tryna bulk up but to take what was starting as such a rich, personal song and broadcasting it to random strangers just makes me a bit sad. Almost a bit angry on her behalf?

28.) That Distant Shore

I KNOW this is gonna create some discourse, but I’m just not the biggest Lapis stan. I love her voice. I love the visuals of the song. And I get why she felt afraid and needed to flee.

But Lapis never got to take responsibility for her own actions. And, in the end, the song feels hollow to me- because we all know she’ll never talk to anyone about it, know she’ll burst back in and destroy the barn, and no one will ever question it. I like Lapis a lot, but I feel like her arc never was fully finished. She never got help. She never learned to feel safe.

29.) Dear Old Dad

I’ve yet to meet a single human being who likes this episode tbh. There’s some great discussion about what kind of parent Greg is from it, and what kind of dynamic he has with the Gems that he felt he had to fake an injury to hang out with his son. Honestly the first half was fine and dandy. It’s just that then they Greg just went out of his way to drag Steven away from missions and such. It never jived well with his character before or after.

Also, is it just me, or does Zach himself sound like he hates the song as he sings it? There’s no passion or heart in his voice. It sounds like they told him to read off cue cards and he did. Tom Scharpling’s best attempts didn’t save this one for being a skipper. But the episode, unfortunately, isn’t, so it gets a spot on here.

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