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incorrect-koh-posts · 2 years

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I don't even know where to begin with.i knew that i was diving into a very long dead fandom but stumbling on your blog was like finding an oasis in desert.i watched KOH few days ago and oh MY GOD.. THE OBSESSION I have developed for king baldwin is UNEXPLAINABLE. I don't even like edward Norton but wtf I can't get that voice out of my head .the way those keen eyes peer from behind that beautiful silver mask,the grace and authority which he possess in his subtle posture is so mesmerizing to watch.and don't let me even start on that inciting head tilt.Dammm i would keep the whole world at his feet if he looks at me like that. I was not even remotely disturbed by seeing his actual disfigured face .in fact there was something hypnotic, a complete magic, about that portrayal which left me so enraptured that I felt as if I was watching the actual king not an actor.never have I ever even thought that one day i shall wish to travel back in time to meet a twelfth century king.i would just go back to give him a big warm hug(only if I don't get executed)and will try to heal him with the help of modern medicines.after all my boy deserves it.till the day he had stayed alive everyone treated him as untouchable due to his disease .our poor baby boy must have certainly thought himself as an ugly monstrous thing .i wish that if only someone had ever told him he was the sexiest man in the entire Jerusalem.if only king Baldwin had known that how much love and adoration he will receive from future generations.i would have fainted for sure only if he ever saw at me like that behind the mask. I don't even know why the fuck I am ranting these childish thing but fuck it , I just wanted to let it out from my mind.all these thoughts were cluttering inside my head.I wanted to talk about it to someone since the time I saw it and then I found your blog . god... I lost interest entirely in the story after he died.. and oh god that scene of his funeral had overwhelmed me so much. truth to be told, I know there are many historical inaccuracies in this movie and I personally watch historical movies just for sake of entertainment . I know that they always twist history in such movies.i don't mind it as long as I find it Enjoyable. but holy God, balian is the most bland and unexciting protagonist I have ever seen in a movie.wtf was that face.he had the same expression in every scene.literally every character's arc was better than him whether they were good or bad.their character seemed natural in that setting but his arc felt so forced like everyone was trying to make him a Mary sue and the idea of him being an atheist at those time was just absurd .his father trained him for 30 seconds and waoo he became a knight.and everytime he holds his sword in both hand above his head, it looks so ridiculous.his dialogue delivery was so cringy.i don't generally see much personality in female characters in such war movies but at least eva green's character was not one dimensional and I liked it.and that saladin's actor really stole the screen presence in the second half of the movie.his presence kept me watching the movie till the end. you can disagree with any of above points I won't mind.afterall It's me who had wanted a discussion about this movie in 2022 .and yes don't let this blog die.. let keep our king alive here... ❤

Hi there :) There's a lot to disentangle here, but since you took the time to tell me all this, I'll try my best to answer at least somewhat coherently.

So, first of all (and this goes to all of you): Please don't feel ashamed / bad / any other negative emotion for ranting at me about KoH! That's why this blog exists, after all - to give all the lone souls with an interest in melancholy leper kings and other assorted sad idiots in chainmail a space to conglomerate and commiserate with each other about the deadness of this obscure, tiny fandom. (Or something like that.) 😂 I'm very happy to engage with people, have discussions, exchange ideas / headcanons / whatever your heart desires, and I'm not going to attack anyone for their expressing their opinions (unless they're harmful, politically insensitive, racist, ableist, religiously fundamentalist, etc. you name it. I don't want any of that rubbish here or anywhere else, and I assume neither do any of you.).

And no, I don’t think it’s childish that you have a soft spot for Baldwin IV. Many people do - especially the ones you’ll find here - and I mean, why on earth would we not have a thing for him? He’s cool, he’s wise, he’s kind, he’s a fierce warrior, good at chess, has a tragic personal history, and he looks handsome as all f*ck in his silver mask. Who wouldn’t want to go back in time and save him from his fate? 😂 That’s an A+ fantasy for rainy days.

[On that note: If you haven’t already, go have a look at either the KoH fanfiction sections on AO3 or FF.net (or if you want to have a laugh, search for the old KoH fanfics on livejournal - lots of those are a hoot, too), or try some of the traditionally published novels taking place in that time period (I’m probably going to make a list of those at some point if anyone’s interested). There’s plenty of good Baldwin stuff to be had if you know where to look.]

And as for the Balian-is-a-Mary-Sue-thing: Though I know that there are some people here who love Balian, I have to agree with you on this point (at least mostly). When I first watched the film, I didn’t much enjoy Bloom’s performance - it is rather wooden and one-note. But a lot of this is probably the script’s fault: It doesn’t give him much to work with - Balian actually has fewer lines of dialogue than many of the other characters - and I think it also has to do with the fact that in the 2000s there was a certain fashion for movies and movie protagonists of that kind. You know, the sort of narrative that would have some kind of outsider or underdog as a protagonist for the audience to relate to while being introduced to a different sort of world than the one they and the protagonist know. (For another example, think the hobbits in LotR, or, well ... any other generic fantasy protagonist.) Nowadays, we often get more complex narratives in current films / TV series / literature because the industry seems to have realised that mass audiences can actually handle that sort of thing. But back in 2005, starting the story in medias res with Balian already in Outremer - as history would have dictated: he was born in Ibelin, after all, and actually had several brothers - would have been a no-go. If they had made KoH ten years later, chances are we would have seen a Game-of-Thrones style epic with a number of narrative strands following different characters over a few seasons, which would likely have worked better for the complicated historical politics KoH more or less butchered to present a somewhat coherent story. Balian, in my opinion, looks out of place in it because the movie makes him the sole protagonist when other historical figures were actually more or at least equally important. He is made to carry a weight he isn’t meant to carry, and the odd plot contrivances the writers concocted to make him seem like the only hero are not really helping with that.

But yeah, Balian seems to be the go-to protagonist for anything set in the time period between 1172-1190. Helena Schrader has a whole trilogy of books centred around him, and even Sharon K. Penman in The Land Beyond The Sea (a novel that I quite enjoyed research-wise) makes him seem like such an angelic and singularly kind and heroic guy that I just wanted to curl up like a hedgehog and cry. Can nobody ever write me something about the Count of Tripoli, goddamnit? Do I have to do everything myself?

So, as you see, I’m a pretty cringe person myself. And I totally did not take your ask as an excuse to rant about Balian AT ALL. No, I am not abandoning or deleting this blog. I enjoy creating content for this microscopically small fandom, since this is apparently what my idiotic heart has settled on. Sometimes I do get disheartened by how little activity there is, but whenever I hear from people like you who have just come across KoH and this blog, I’m happy that I kept going and I’ll try to do so in the future, come what may. 😊

And if the action pictured below is what you’d like to do to Baldwin, go ahead. We’ve all been there - trust me. I’m sure he appreciates your hugs ❤

#asks #thank you for reaching out #i really do appreciate it #baldwin iv #balian of ibelin #kingdom of heaven 2005 #and some discourse!#as you can see i'm always happy to rant 😂#and whoever wants to participate in the discussion please feel free to

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ground-riot-jack · 3 years

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doesn’t equal forever | r. tanaka | part 1

bestfriend!tanaka x reader

tanaka has been your bestfriend for years, but you’re determined to confess your feelings this movie night

warnings: angst, a lot of angst, cussing of course, a little bit of fluff.

You and the crazy ball of aggressive energy that you called your bestfriend, Tanaka, have been friends since middle school. You’d been sat next to each other in homeroom so it became natural to ask the other for a pencil or homework answers or to just study together. You’d grown close and decided to both attend Karsuno High School. Your first year you realized you had feelings for Ryu. He was funny, nice and he always made sure you were okay. As the time went on your feelings for Ryu only grew stronger.

The only person who knew about your feelings was your mutual friend Nishinoya. You’re not sure how but he figured it out before you did, teasing you quietly to make a move on the bald crackhead you liked.

You never tried too hard to show Tanaka your feelings for him, sticking to light flirting and usual bestfriend antics. You figured if he liked you, he’s forward enough to tell you. By your second year, you quickly realized Tanaka didn’t have feelings for you, but instead was obsessed with Kiyoko, team manager.

It began as a joke, really it did. Noya, Ryu and you would fangirl over Kiyoko any chance you got as an inside joke about her beauty. Then you slowly backed off as the boys took their job as Kiyokos personal hype man and bodyguards a little more seriously.

Today was like every other day. You were helping Noya and Ryu set up some drills in the gym, talking and gossiping about random things when the gym doors opened quickly, Kiyoko and Yachi jogging in quickly and immediately going to Coach Ukai and Takeda.

“Awe man, It looks like Kiyoko got us that practice match we’ve been looking for. What can’t she do?” Tanaka sighs dreamily while watching his older manager. His task was long forgotten and now laid on you and Noya to complete.

“Oí, have some respect for Kiyoko and yourself. Quit staring” Noya smacks Ryu on the back of his shaved head, who jumps and goes back to his task, while mumbling about a new headache.

“So, do you guys wanna come over and finally watch the season finale of-“

“VAMPIRE DIARIES” The boys shouted in unison.

“Of course y/n, we’ll meet at your place at 8. Ive gotta shower and big sis cooked dinner tonight.” Tanaka replies

“Okay, i’ll grab us some snacks and be ready at 8. if either of you aren’t there before 8:30 I’m starting the show without you.” You send a pointed look at the two boys who weren’t very good at time management.

Once practice ended, you, Noya and Ryu were getting ready to walk out when Tanakas name is called. You all stop and turn and see Kiyoko motioning him over.

“She’s calling me? She wants me!” Tanaka stutters out before sprinting full speed to where she’s standing across the gym.

“whatever, let’s just head home, get a head start in my shower and dinner.” Noya pouts, clearly jealous. You both begin the walk home, living fairly close to each other.

“I think tonight’s the night Noya.” You sigh dreamily.

“The night? Like tonight? Woah y/n, when did you get bold?”

“I just-I really really like him and i’m tired of hiding it. Plus, we’ve been flirting since we were kids. He has to have some kinda feelings for me. And if he doesn’t it’s fine, i’m a big girl and rejection is just apart of life” You huff. You look over and see Noya wiping fake tears from his eyes.

“My baby is all grown up” He fake wails into the air, causing you to shove him to the side. He gasps before jumping on you and tickling you making you beg for mercy. When you beg and his hands finally let up, he lets out a light sigh. “I’m serious y/n, i’m proud of you, plus i think he likes you too, you’ll be so cute together” Noya smiles brightly before hugging you and waving bye before heading down his street, leaving you to yourself.

8pm rolls around and You hear a knock on your front door, before you can move to open it, it flies open revealing Noya standing there in pajamas holding candy.

“Damn, do come in them bitch” You giggle at the energetic boy.

“Ryus not here yet?” Noya says, plopping down on your couch.

“Uh, no. I’ll text the group chat.” You vite your lip and pull out your phone.

“Uh he’s so lucky, Id die if Queen Kiyoko asked me to run an errand for her.” Noya sighs dramatically.

“Even if it was during your bestfriend weekly movie night?” You grumble before standing and moving to the kitchen to bust your mind.

“Don’t be upset pumpkin, Kiyoko is just like a little crush everyone, even you, has so Ryu is doing something for her. He will be here in no time, you can confess your feelings and then we can watch our absolute favorite show.” Noya follows you, smiling brightly at you.

“Yea you’re right, i’m just a little nervous. You wanna watch some youtube till Ryu gets here?” You smile back. You both head into the living room to pass time until your other bestfriend arrives.

At 8:45, you and Noya began getting a little worried. You’d called Ryu but he hasn’t answered. He wasn’t always on time, but he was never this late without contacting one of you. You went ahead and texted Ryu and couple more times just in case he fell asleep after his shower. You sat silently chewing your lip, worried about Ryu when Noyas phone dinged. He tapped the screen to reveal a text from the man of the hour.

Tanaka 🥵✨

on my way!

Noya relayed the message to you and decided to use the bathroom before Tanaka got there so you could go ahead and start the episode. While Noya was gon his phone, left on the coffee table, made another ding. You took a quick look so you could tell Noya when he came back, like you usually do.

Tanaka 🥵✨

also y/n kept blowing up my phone while I was with kiyoko, she almost cock blocked me 😭it was low key annoying

Your chest tightened, your stomach dropped, your heart broke and your breathing sped up. Ryu had never once expressed that you were ever bothering him, to your face atleast. Maybe he always texted Noya about you like this. Your eyes stung with tears that you pushed back. You re read the text until it something else crossed your mind. You’d almost cock blocked him? Does that mean-

You’re interrupted by your front door swinging open to reveal a exasperated Ryu. You stood and ran to the kitchen, claiming you needed more snacks. You heard Noya leaving the bathroom and saying hey to Ryu. Then you heard hushed yelling, but you couldn’t make out the words. You gathered food and took a deep breath before waking back out. You just had to casually ask Ryu about his night with Kiyoko, then you could admit your feelings if the time was right.

You walked in and saw Noya looking at his phone then Ryu and then you. You set the food down and got on your phone to text Noya, letting him know you saw the text. You heard his breath hitch and he looked at you with pity and confusion.

“Where’s my hug y/n?” Ryu smiles brightly, you hugged him but pulled back slightly when you realized he smelled like expensive perfume instead of his usual cologne. He took his jacket off and sat on the couch, and your heart broke more than you thought it could.

There were atleast 5 hickies on Ryus neck, and one peeking out the collar of his shirt, letting you know there were more on his chest. You looked at your lap but saw Noya kick Ryu in the shin.

“wha- oh you guys want an announcement, haha i get it. Yes okay, I slept with Kiyoko. No big deal” Ryu bragged, striking a pose as you held back a fountain of tears.

You tried to open your mouth to share a false congrats but the lump in your throat made it next to impossible to say anything without sobbing. You gripped your sweatpants tighter in an effort to calm yourself. The air in the room grew awkward as everyone sat in silence.

“Y/n? Are you okay? What’s wrong?” Ryu asks, at his question you can’t help but let the dam break, sobs racking your body as tears flowed from your face. You could do nothing but cry into your hands.

“I-i, i don’t understand. Are you okay?” Ryu moves closer but you run upstairs and slam your bedroom door shut. You can vaguely hear them talking downstairs but not clearly enough to even tell who’s speaking. Meanwhile, the boys were having a heated discussion.

“You absolute idiot! Why would you do this.” Noya gripped his hair and pulled.

“What the hell is going on?” Ryu pleads.

“I-You- You just had to fuck Kiyoko on movie night? You just messed everything up! Oh and y/n saw your text by the way! Some friend you are” Noya laughs dryly at the taller boy.

“My text...Oh shit! I didn’t mean it like that. I just- I didn’t. Kiyoko asked me to help her with something and I did and then she was flirting with me and then-“

“Y/n IS IN LOVE WITH YOU IDIOT!” Noya shoves Ryu over the couch, causing his to trip and land on his ass. “She loves you more than a friend and she was going to confess tonight, then you stroll in here almost an hour late with hickies all over you and smelling exactly like Kiyoko. You don’t think that hurts y/n, and then on top of that you called her annoying when she was worried about you. So you either need to go up there and say you like her too or you need to apologize and leave because I will not sit here while you play with her feelings.” Noya says now standing over the taller boy.

“I-, I didn’t know she liked me. I-I don’t like her like that. She’s my bestfriend Nishinoya. Of course I love her, but like you love a cousin or something.” Ryu spits out, eyes full of regret.

“Then go upstairs, apologize and let her down gently.” Noya picks Tanaka up by his collar and pushes him towards youre bedroom. Tanakas throat tight hens as he gets closer to your room. He can hear you sobbing from down the hall he’s walked a million times.

He slowly pushes open your door and see you laying in your bed, face pushed into a pillow and sobbing.

“I love him so much, Noya. And stupid gorgeous Kiyoko gets him. She wasn’t even there for everything. She wasn’t there for him like I was!” You scream into your pillow before looking up and seeing Tanaka standing in your doorway. You quickly straighten up and wipe your face while avoiding eye contact with your crush and bestfriend.

“Y/n, i’m so sorry. I’m so sorry, I didn’t know. I wouldn’t have-“

“It’s fine Tanaka, if you like her then you like her” You sigh.

“I didn’t mean to call you annoying. You know you’re my bestfriend and I love you, but not like that. I’m sorry y/n, I can’t be what you’re expecting me to be.” He sits at your desk chair.

“Then why are you here Tanaka? Here you can have all your stuff back-“ You stand, speeding into the anger stage of your grief. You quickly grab jewelry and stuffed animals you’d received from him over the years.

“Stop calling me Tanaka, and I want you to keep the stuff”

“I will continue to call you Tanaka because I clearly don’t know you as well as I thought I did. And you think I want your stuff in my room? You think I wanna roll over and be reminded that you will never feel the same way about me and that fucking Kiyoko was the one to get you in the end? I’m not doing that. You think i want your stupid hoodie that smells exactly like you in my closet? or even on me? So i can be reminded that I can never hold you this close again and that you will never be my Ryu. Is that what you want for me Tanaka? So take your shit and leave, please” You box as much of his things as you can and press the box into his chest.

“Y/n...”

“No Tanaka. It’s okay. Deep down I always knew you didn’t feel the same. The way you look at Kiyoko, I knew you’d never look at me that way. I’m just your friend right, so i have no choice but to support you.” You sniffle and open your bedroom door for Tanaka to walk out of.

“Y/n, can you just wait a second. I’ve barely got a word in,”

“If you’re not going to tell me you love me, then you need to go because honestly dude, it’s hurt so fucking bad just looking at you.” You bite your lip and keep your eyes trained on the floor. You dared to sneak a glance at Ryu but what you saw caused ur heart to clench. His eyes were wide and glossy, his hands were lightly shaking. When he was like this, your normal reaction was to hold him and tell him everything’s gonna be okay, but now you couldn’t. You kept your hands to yourself and you waited as he walked out of your room.

“I’m sorry y/n. I am” He sighs before leaving your house completely.

Authors note: PHEw!!! i actually cried writing this so i’m sorry, i hope you liked it. I love tanaka so much and i love kiyoko but i saw the opportunity and i decided to hurt my own feelings :)))

#haikyū!!#haikyuu!!#haikyuu imagines #haikyuu tanaka #tanaka ryuunosuke #tanaka x reader #tanaka ryuu x reader #tanaka imagine #ryuu tanaka #nishinoya yuu

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missjackil · 3 years

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My 15x17 Opinion

Unity

Wow! This one was a rollar coaster ride! I’ve seen positive and negative responses from y’all but I’ll say, though it had its flaws, I thought it was basically what I watch the show for. Tension drama, emotion, twists and turns and all that good stuff!

We start off that Sam is still angry with Dean and giving him the silent treatment. A typical Winchester argument occurs but comes to a painful halt when Sam says, concerning Jack “We dont give up on family!!” and Dean returns fire with “Jack’s not family!!” OMG I could HEAR Sam’s heart shatter! Dean isn’t wrong in his follow up though, they both care for Jack a lot (Sam evidenty moreso) but he’s not family at their level, or even Cas’s level for that matter. This isn’t anything we shouldn’t aready know. Michael!Dean even pointed this out in s14.

I don’t think this means Dean doesn’t love or care about Jack at all. In fact Im sure he does even if he still holds a grudge, but he’s not on Sam level, no one is... nor is he on Mom, Dad, Bobby or Cas level, but maybe Rowena level? Id say somewhere between Rowena level and Kevin level.

Sam loves Jack and apparently thinks of him as his son, though he never says it. He has said “He’s our kid!” but never said Jack is like a son to him. Im not going to go too meta on this, but I kinda think Dean’s line of thought is “Well Sam and I both have died to save the world, why can’t Jack?” and Sam is thinking “Enough of this damn dying to save the freakin world!” but thats my opinion :)

Of course Jack overhears which also hurt and he asks Sam if hes mad at him. Sam weighs his words so well to make sure Jack knows Sam understands and appreciates the mission, but he thinks its wrong.

I have mixed opinions of the Amara and Chuck portions. I think Amara was great! I really like her, but I was distracted by an OTT Chuck that I really didnt like. Not just on a bad guy level but the childishness was much more like a bad impression of Lucifer than any Chuck we’ve seen. Im still hoping beyond hope that Chuck gets redeemed some way though I think its not very likely. But it aint over till its over and SPN has surprized me a million times before.

Adam and Serafina were annoying. I thought it also very weird that Dean thought the woman must be Eve when he killed Eve in S6. Guess they forgot s6, but thats ok, I try to forget it too!

So Jack becoming a bomb is the only way to defeat Chuck. Im gad to hear Sam call Dean out on his “Its the only way” attitude. I flash back so Sacrifice in s8 when Sam was going to martyr himsef ... again... and when Dean found out Sam would die, all of a sudden, this isnt the only way!! “We have enough information to turn the tides here... think about what we know....” to show Sam that they do have options, and yet, when it doesnt have to do with Sam’s life, Dean becomes somewhat of a defeatist. (its ok Dean... I know theres a “Samception” to every rule 😉🤜🤛)

Meanwhile Sam and Cas figure out how to get to Billies Library. Im kinda sad they keep using Meg as The Empty, Im so down for Megstiel, I wish theyd go that route instead. Anyway, she confirms that Billie needs him so maybe if she starts kiling him, Billie will come. Sam lies his way out of that and tricks her into giving him God’s book. Now we have that and Im curious as to why Billie and/or Chuck need Sam. I still think for Sam to die, Dean needs to kill him and this is why Chuck manipulated Dean to pull a gun on him, which goes well with OG Death needing Dean to kill Sam, or “Ill do it for you” and OGs Death’s eagerness to reap him. This is intriguing, and I cant even meta on it, because I have no clue LOL

So we have this crazy physical fight between Sam and Dean which leads us to Sam’s touching speech. “What about me? Would you trade me?” The line that of course, stops Dean in his tracks. I THINK that if Billie resets everything that Sam stays dead from s2? Or maybe just since she has been Death and Sam would stay dead when he got vamped in the AU? Im not sure, but Sam didnt seem to mean that Dad would have stayed dead from before Mom made her demon deal, or that would just mean neither would exist.

Sam tells Dean that he’s always protected him, from Dad, from Lucifer etc... and I see a lot of controversey on Tumblr about this statement as an attack on John. I don’t really think so, though no matter how much of a John fan you are, the show never paints him as an ideal father. Its not “these new writers” its every writer since the Pilot. Since season 1 John has been depicted as an obsessed man who raised them to be hunters, left them alone as children for days/weeks at a time and had anger and drinking issues, all while showing that he loves his boys, wants them to be safe and ultimately only wanted what was best. I dont see the show ever depicting him as physically abusive, so its not hard to imagine that Dean would have stepped into a verbal argument between Sam and Dad to distract Dad before it got messy like we saw him do a couple times in S1.

So Sam goes on saying he didnt always like “it” either being protected or the form of protection used, but regardless, its the only thing he could rely on, and the ony thing he knew was true. And in this moment while Dean still wants to kill Chuck, Dean probably believes its whats best for Sam too, to get off the wheel so to speak, but if Billie wins, would he no longer have Sam?? YIKES!! Winchester tears all round! And ya know, I actually like that Sam just said “put down the gun” instead of like “believe in us too” something about it made it feel more critical. Like Dean had lost his shit and Sam knew it. Dean could cry and hug him and tell him he loves him more than life, but Sam is still in danger of Chuck manipulating Dean into killing him, untill Dean puts down the gun.

Meanwhile Chuck talks Amara into becoming part of him again, to be one. This also gave me feels. But now here comes a super pissed off, super charged Chuck who has had it with these boys. “After everything, you still do this!!” and now they get to watch Jack die.... maybe.. to be continued.

So yeah I reallly liked this episode despite the annoying issues. Definitey on my “watch again” list!

So on a scale from Bloodlines to Lebabon I give Unity a 8.5. Thanks guys I needed that!

#SPN spoilers #15x17 spoilers #my opinion #unity spoiers

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tvdversefanfiction · 3 years

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Since i have done this 30day challenge on two of my other pages it was about time I did it for this page, starting firstly with The Vampire Diaries, The Originals and Legacies will soon follow I promise.

So if you do not already no I have zero chill and zero patience so instead of 30 days I just do it all in one go 😂 feel free to sound off in the comments with your opinions, open to reading others' opinions and share in the love for this fandom 💖

1 - Klaus Mikaelson 💖 my king, my heart, the unrequited love of my life (fictional ofcourse)

2 - (in order) Caroline Forbes 👑 Rebekah Mikaelson 👑 Katherine Pierce 👑

3 - Klaroline, always and forever 😍

4 - Bamon or Stexi 🤔 although Stexi was definitely a more loyal friendship and I didnt want them together as a couple like I did Bamon

5 - Claire Holt, Love her to pieces, love her interviews and her post and pre TVD and TO work as an actress.

6 - Joseph Morgan, my husband in my fantasies only 💖 fantastic actor who I cannot wait to see what he does next 😍

7 - Daniel Gillies and Paul Wesley, their bromance is both adorable, authentic and slightly homoerotic 🙊😈

8 - Bamon or Elenijah, Bamon id have legit loved to see as endgame over Delena anyday and Elenijah I'd have love to have seen explored at least.

9 - Although neither the originals or Katherine were in every episode they were far from secondary in my mind, so in terms of secondary I'd say Lexi for sure.

10 - 2 and/or 3, most of the originals arc and Katherine stuff was peak TVD for me.

11 - The 100th episode for so many reasons, the nostalgic lookback at previous characters, Klaroline finally getting it on, a Mebekah reunion and lots of Katherine 👑

12 - He is your first love, I intend to be your last 💖 Klaroline was all kinds of epic and how poetic is it that she wound up being his last love💔

13 - Caroline singing at her mothers funeral 💔

14 - Elena, I know she went through alot but who didn't in the TVDverse, she was the victim and stayed within that role from beginning to end and god was she depressing to watch. She was also largely hypocritical with her judgements over things she too was guilty off 🙄 the fact I loathe her and love Katherine shows the incredible acting range of Nina Dobrev though 💖

15 - Stefan, he is like Angel with the Angelus edge, id say the male elena but that would be harsh as he didnt piss me off nearly as much 😂 he was alright I suppose I just didnt care for him that much, if he died early I'd have been like meh! I couldnt buy evil stefan either instead it made me cringe which is weird because Paul Wesley plays unhinged so well in Tell me a story...oh and also Stefan killed Enzo, not once but twice and he can only blame the humanity switch for one of those kills 😡

16 - i did ship Delena till they got together and lost all their magic, i never shipped Stelena but they did suit each other better than Delena or the very ill advised Steroline which should have stayed a friendship! Bonnie and Jeremy made absolute no sense and had zero chemistry so on those grounds id say those two or Steroline, Steroline itches me up the wrong way the most tbf.

17 - Elena and Caroline, Caroline was the better friend hands down for both Bonnie and Elena but Elena always seemed harsher to Caroline and yet couldnt handle it when Caroline gave her tough love back especially over Delena which tbh Caroline was right....IMO anyways.

18 - I cannot say Candice, Nina, Kat or Claire are anything but amazing actresses so I would never say any of them...maybe the actress who played Liv Parker, she was always kind of one note to me although not terrible but nowhere near as good as the others....I could probably later think of someone else but for now I'll go with her.

19 - Zach Roerig, a typical answer from fans I've noticed but he was just so blah for 8 full seasons I totally get why Im not alone here...also so far him and Steven McQueen are the only ones from TVD to appear in Legacies...Jeremy's cameo i didnt mind, Matts however...like when is he going to die and stay dead already? Sorry matt fans 😂

20 - A good chunk of episodes in season 7, didnt like Elena but didn't like TVD without Elena...would've loved the actress to stay on and either play another role or make Katherine come back preferably 🤩

21 - Most of them I started liking then hating, or hating to liking then back to hating 😂 I dont think I hated anyone from beginning then loved them by the end so ill just give a love to hate, Alaric...I liked him in early seasons but thought he came to a natural end when he died...from 6 onwards after he came back he lost any appeal and felt like he was just there to have another dead ex, then to cockblock Steroline which tbf was a good deed but still didnt revive him 🤣 and I full out despise him in Legacies but I'll dig deeper into that come a Legacies themed version of this challenge 😂

22 - Damon wins hands down here, loved him in the pilot, love turned to like as the show went on and then Delena happened and completely destroyed his chracter, Bamon gave him a much needed revival but Elena soon dragged him down once more...his live for her was obsessive to me, unhealthy and toxic and he couldnt cope without it. BAMON would've fixed all this IMO

23 - Okay stick with me here as this one has multiple answers for me...I'd have rathered Caroline or Bonnie as the main character alongside the salvatores than Elena so thats answer one. Answer two would be I'd have loved Katherine to have been the mainstay doppelganger instead of Elena. Answer three would be more flashbacks of Lexi and her life away from the Salvatores would have been interesting. Last answer, Rebekah should have been in more episodes both on this and TO but I'll probs get more into that when I do TO.

24 - The romances, the vampires, the villains and the aesthetic of Mystic Falls 😍 if you follow my other pages you know obsessed im obsessed with the supernatural genre 🥰

25 - Too much time centred around Delena and Stelena, which I know was the main story of this show their love triangle but it didnt have to be...

26 - Elena daggering Rebekah, my heart broke for Rebekah and hardened towards Elena...her biggest hypocritical move of many too!

27 - Heres one so this post isnt all bashing poor Elena 🤣 i love when Elena and Stefan wind up drinking in that bar together having a good time as friends...honestly wouldnt habe minded more scenes centered on this friendship.

28 - Klaroline getting together in the woods and/or the Klaroline moment in the last episode where he donates money to the boarding school...tbh any Klaroline moment 💖

29 - Liz's death and funeral, my heart breaks for Caroline everytime and Damon too, loved Liz and Damon's friendship 💔

30 - Almost all Lily Salvatore scenes, the worst mother alongside Esther Mikaelson....their deaths make me so happy every single time and I will never apologise for that 🤣

#thevampirediaries #vampirediaries #tvd #tvdfandom #tvdverse #tvd30daychallenge #thevampirediariesopinions

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anotherwayoutforme · 4 years

Text

Just remembered...

...that I had this blog. My previous blog aged like a fungal infection -- reading it was so cringe, I retched at the foul taste it brought in my mouth.

And then to the main part, what I had primarily come here for: last night’s unimaginably painful existential crisis.

What sadistic pleasure do we get from stalking our exes online?

Months after a breakup, regardless of how inconsequential a relationship was, you still check their socials in hopes of getting...what?

And then you find yourself annoyed; you’re annoyed at their previous interactions with others of your sex, wondering at just how false the words spoken to you were, wondering if everyone cherry picked the nicecities from previous relationships and tried to merge them with their current ones. You’re annoyed at being disingenuous with people you claim have done you wrong; you’re annoyed at your lack of true human relationships.

And then you check the socials of people who’ve done better than you. Somewhere you find metrics dealing with their success, their absolute greatness.

How will you ever compare?

You wonder if your parents were right, you’re not meant for greatness.

You shudder at the thought of bursting your various bubbles because other people’s success hurts you deeply.

You wonder if you’re ready for a master’s. After all, higher studies should be afforded to those who can afford it -- and those who’re mature enough to handle it.

You shudder at the thought of sinking to a newer low; your elitism is bothered by the dredges of the society left behind to toil and spend as extravagantly as their meagre salaries can allow them to.

You worry about your future, yet do nothing to get better.

You’re the average Joe then, the one the news anchors worry about, the one with the average merch, the one with average thoughts.

You watch movies that seem intellectual to delude yourself in believing in your greatness, your superiority, your contentment with your average life.

You whittle away time ‘reading’ to appear to be more cultured than you are; you read fiction, because you can’t digest non-fiction text.

You partake in pseudointellectual discussions about superficial politics, lacking an understanding of the theory, lacking an understanding of world economics, lacking an understanding of anthropology and social sciences.

You remember an echo of the words you’d written in a long forgotten diary about not wanting to end up yelling at the TV. You turn the volume up and scream a little more. These fools, these idiots, what do they know about policy making. Ask me, in my pajamas, eating dinner, scaring my young kids.

Ask me, you beg.

You climb the career ladder till the point after which bowing down and doing your work won’t get you anywhere; at that point, at forty something, you buy a bigger house, perhaps, teach your kids to work hard.

You buy yourself nice things, nice clothes, nice furniture, a fancy car; things to alleviate the pain of your small-mindedness, your materialistic, parochial obsession with extravagance, your lack of understanding of wealth and wealth management.

Because you tried all that time ago, sometime in the morning, pulling an all-nighter to get your life on track and be someone after, perhaps, spying an ex-colleague appraised globally for their work.

You lament your inability to think, for it’s been a while since you truly used your brain.

You lament, as you look up ways to network, and invest, and grow, that you’ve moved on from the place of wanting to do something great, to one of wanting to be someone great.

You lament at the state of your life, because unlike the college exams you scraped through, a whole life, your life, cannot be fixed magically by pulling an all-nighter.

You give up after a day, or a week, of trying to be better.

You give up and work on what you’ve been given.

You grow old then. If you’re lucky, you grow old with a modicum of happiness -- companionship. If not, you grow old more bitterly than the others, fatigued by a mediocre life, annoyed by your lack of wealth, your lack of action, your wasted time.

You remember your novice ideas at maintaining a legacy; you laugh mirthlessly at your naivete.

What legacy, you ask yourself?

What parentage to make your life great?

You die and you waste away.

No one remembers you.

No one appreciates the mediocre work you did as a mid-level employee at a company which marked your existence with a randomly generated employee id.

You don’t matter.

You started to not matter as soon as you started giving up on yourself.

Your parents were always right. Your detractors, prophetic.

You don’t matter.

You never did.

So who were you?

Nobody.

#blog #existential crisis #cringe

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golddplatedd · 5 years

Text

50 Questions

tagged by @tonyrights

1. What takes up too much of your time? watching movies and scrolling through tumblr lmao

2. What makes your day better? talking to my gf! talking to my sister! thinking about oswald! lots of things!

3. What’s the best thing to happen to you today? its 12:29 am so im gonna say the best part of yesterday was getting to see so much of my family and giving my mom some pretty silver hoops that i bought for her at disneyland i love my mom

4. What fictional place would you like to go to? hhhh asgard maybe? i wanna meet heimdall

5. Are you good at giving advice? generally no but i am a god listener!!

6. Do you have any mental illness? yeah i have certified™ major depressive disorder and anxiety! probably some other stuff too but i prefer not to think about it ;V

7. Have you ever experienced sleep paralysis? nah but i kinda want to

8. What musician inspired you the most? .......fall out boy.........they have gotten me through so much its astounding

9. Have you ever fallen in love? literally every time i see a cat on the street. oh you mean with a person? maybe but id prefer not to talk about it

10. What’s your dream date? uhhh going somewhere cute like an aquarium or a museum and then going for a walk and getting ice cream! im a simple girl.

11. What do others notice about you?

usually how short i am which is rude tbh im 5′1″ thats NOT that short

12. What is an annoying habit you have? almost everything i do is annoying!! kidding (sorta) but i think the most . annoying thing i do is like everything obsessively and then talk about it nonstop. like i cant just. mildly enjoy something. its all or nothing babey

13. Do you still talk to your first love? no not really! that train has sailed . or however the saying goes. we are like on good ish terms though i suppose

14. How many exes do you have? 2. and a half

15. How many songs are in your playlist? i . have like 50 spottify playlists but my main one (jams from my Barbie™ Jeep™) currently has 1140 songs

16. What instruments can you play? i played flute but i dont anymore, i currently play oboe and saxophone and im trying to teach myself ukelele and thinking about trying english horn but its so expensive!!!

17. What do you have the most pictures of? i have a lot of memes, pictures of loki and oswald, and pictures of new york lmao

18. Where would you like to go before you die? the Pyramid of the Sun in Teotihuacán!!!

19. What is your zodiac? leo sun, gemini moon, aquarius rising

20. Do you relate to it? not the leo sun so much but the rest of it, yeah!!

21. What is happiness to you? coffee.

22. Are you going through anything right now? im goin thru IT man im just trying to survive till june but life is testing me

23. What’s the worst decision you ever made? everything i did in high school!

24. What’s your favorite store? goodwill or rhino records!!

25. What’s your opinion on abortion? i am pro-choice wtf kinda question is this

26. Do you keep a bucket list? yes, here is a list of my favorite buckets:

im joking i dont have one lmao

27. Do you have a favorite album? I HAVE TOO MANY here are a few:

infinity on high - fall out boy // disintegration - the cure // three cheers for sweet revenge - mcr // saturation trilogy - brockhampton // unknown pleasures - joy division

28. What do you want for your birthday? i like books and money

29. What are most people’s first impression of you? i have literally no idea i think people usually think im weird. im a weirdo. i dont fit in

30. What age do you seem according to most people?

like 16 people still think im in high school ;(

31. Where do you keep your phone while you’re sleeping? charging next to my bed

32. What word do you say the most? worm or yeehaw (its awful)

33. What’s the oldest age you would date? like 25 tbh

34. What’s the youngest age you would date? 19 (i am 19)

35. What job/career do most people say would suit you? surprisingly, psychiatry (which im interested in)

36. What’s your favorite music genre? it varies from moment to moment (generally indie or emo or new wave lmao)

37. If you could live in any country in the world, where would it be? maybe canada or france

38. What is your current favorite song? baby boy - kevin abstract

39. How long have you had this blog for? like 5 years lmao yikes

40. What are you excited for? GOING TO PARIS AND THEN SCOTLAND TO STUDY ABROAD THIS SUMMER!!!

41. Are you a better talker or listener? definitely listener.im . an emotional bottom

42. What is the last productive thing you did? hhhh i looked over lecture slides for tomorrow

43. What do you want for christmas? world peace. halloween 2. a sense of purpose. a new brockhampton album. simple things really

44. What class do you get the best grades in? oof . generally my cognitive science classes or like writing classes surprisingly.

45. On a scale of 1-10, how are you feeling right now? like 7 im tired

46. What can you see yourself doing in ten years?

living in new york city baby!!

47. When did you get your first heartbreak? sophomore year of hs babey!!

48. What age do you want to get married? like 27-30 ish? idc

49. What career did you want to have as a child? i wanted to be a teacher and now i cant stand the thought jskjs

50. What do you crave right now? woter

i tag: @gebbylee @moonnddust @panoscosmatoes @jobaisnotreal @lokisfatpussy @vamploki @pixelpastry @twentycuntpilots @ink-like-starlight and whoever else wants to do it lmao

#alysa.txt #oof its sleep time #i love . oversharing!!!#tag meme

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sulietsexual · 6 years

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Who are you favourite and least favourite characters? Favourite and least favourite ships? Feel free to give as much or as little detail as you like, id love to hear your thoughts :)

I’m going to assume this is in general and not specific to a certainmedium, ie. Fave tv or movie characters. I’ll try to limit myself but heads up,this may be a long post.

Favourite characters:

Prue Halliwell – fierce, strong, resilient, stubborn as hell and overlyprotective of her family, Prue is a character I identify with deeply andstrongly admire. She is multi-faceted, flawed and very complex and her arc on Charmed is one of my favourite aspects of the show.

Rachel Berenson – compassionate, brave, reckless, violent,bloodthirsty, one of my earliest heroes/role models, Rachel was my inspirationgrowing up, she showed me how a character can be both incredibly soft and amazinglyhard and how neither side needed to be compromised for the other. I will loveher until my dying day.

Jo March – another character I deeply identified with, even more sothan Prue, I pretty much was Jo March as a teen. Tomboyish,hot-tempered, constantly clashing with my siblings, rebelling against familyand societal expectations, a writer and voracious reader, everything about Joreflected that part of my life and watching Winona Ryder bring her to life inone of my favourite adaptations cemented my love for the character.

Angel – broody, petty, self-flagellating vampire with a good heart buta true darkness which he needs to constantly keep in check, who wouldn’t lovethis adorkable manpire? Angel is such a great character, he’s so complex andmulti-faceted and I wish more fans would watch his show so they can see hissubsequent development.

Juliet Burke – amazingly resilient and good-hearted broken woman, whosurvived so much, who played both sides in trying to gain her own freedom butcouldn’t go through with what she was tasked with doing and so chose to sidewith the Losties because she is such a good and compassionate person, whowatched woman after woman die while there was nothing she could do about it,who was manipulated and abused by an evil man who wanted to keep her forhimself, who fell down a ravine and detonated a bomb so that the man she lovedcould go home, who was selfless and kind and brave … I could go on forever, sheis amazing.

Charles Gunn – such an under-appreciated character, ignored byboth the fandom and the narrative, resilient, street-smart, intelligent,caring, unsure of how to navigate the world of grey but tried his best toadjust his world views, utterly screwed by the narrative of the show and thrownunder the bus for Wesley’s arc, the tragedy of Charles Gunn comes from howbadly he was treated and how the fans still refuse to see how great he was.

Mellie Grant – this is a new one as I only started watching Scandallast year but I fell so hard for Mellie Grant, fierce, resilientsurvivor that she is. I don’t think I’ve seen a more abused woman in TV buteverything her god-awful husband and Olivia Pope threw at her she survived,took in stride and came out the other side stronger and more badass. She is amazingand I hope that the shit-storm of a show gives her happy ending.

There are more I could list but we could be here forever, so I’llcap out here. Now, as for Least Favourite Characters:

Fitzgerald Grant – weak, spineless, abusive, useless, completely incompetentand constantly led around by his pecker, Fitz Grant is detestable. Thereis nothing redeeming about his character, he treats everyone around himlike shit (particularly his wife, the amazing Mellie Grant) and I just find himdespicable.

John Locke – I want to like John Locke, he is a layeredcharacter and he has a great actor attached to him but he’s just so pathetic,I cannot deal with him. He’s never right, he never knows what to do, he’sconstantly taking choices and agency away from the other Losties and I justfind him detestable.

Joey Potter – one of the biggest Mary Sues I’ve ever comes across ontelevision, she is constantly praised by other characters, propped up in the narrativeand fawned over, her story overtakes that of the main character of the show andI just find her to be a bitter, highly unlikable jerk who treats everyonearound her like crap.

Betty Cooper – this is a new one but much like Joey Potter, my dislikeof Betty Cooper stems from her being an insufferable Mary Sue whosestory/character has taken over the show, overshadowing the protagonist and allthe other far more interesting characters, while she herself is a bland,annoying Creator’s Pet, whose “dark side” is violent and cruel but is lauded asbeing “feminist”.

Favourite Ships

Okay, we could be here till tomorrow with these, so I’ll try to limitit to Top 5 here.

Buffy/Angel (BtVS) – the best and most endearing vampire/human lovestory, these two are beautiful, tragic, epic and just amazing. Theirrelationship spans two shows and their bond and connection is unrivalled. Theyhave been my OTP for almost twenty years and I will never stop loving them.

Darla/Angel (AtS) – one of themost complex, dynamic, intriguing ships ever, I can’t even begin to find theright words to describe this incredible, centuries-long relationship. There areso many different sides and incarnations to this ship and the chemistry betweenthe actors is amazing, I can’t get enough of them.

Sawyer/Juliet (LOST) – two broken souls who were desperately trying tofind a home and found one in each other. This relationship, despite itsrelatively short run, was the most amazing, equal and beautiful one to come outof LOST, with the two character giving and taking, creating a beautifullybalanced and healthy ship, which was tragically cut short.

Fred/Gunn (AtS) – I will never forgive the AtS writers for decimating thisperfectly balanced, equal partnership, a gorgeous interracial ship, free ofstereotypes, which was built on a foundation of trusty, friendship, mutualattraction and respect (and was then torn apart for Wesley’s man pain).

Rachel/Tobias (Animorphs) – one of my earliest ships, I will never getover these two and the way they found one another amidst a war, the way theybrought out the humanity in one another and the way they grounded and focusedone another. They are absolutely heartbreaking.

Least-Favourite Ships

Spike/Buffy (BtVS) – abuse, sexual assault, emotional manipulation,attempted rape … I cannot deal with this ship, with the victim-blaming whichsurrounds it and the way in which Buffy’s pain and trauma was used to furtherSpike’s arc. This will forever be my most reviled ship.

Emma/Hook (OUAT) – this ship was forced, rushed, decimated the maincharacter of the show and reduced her to a shell of a woman whose life revolvedaround a man, not to mention it led directly to the killing off of the amazingNeal Cassidy.

Fred/Wes (AtS) – a creepy and obsessive “love”, in which Fred was hurt,shot and then horribly murdered in order to fuel Wesley’s man pain, I willnever be on board with the ship and its Spuffy-esque overtones. Give me Fredand Gunn any day.

Jonathan/Nancy (Stranger Things) – not only did Jonathan takecreepy-ass photos of Nancy while she was half-naked, their relationship wasunder-developed and forced and it threw poor Steve Harrington under the bus andmade out that his relationship with Nancy was all a farce.

#anti spuffy #anti fresley #anti cs #anti jancy #long post #Anonymous #answered

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motherlyra · 7 years

Text

Chapter 49: Club Day

The song in the chapter is The Fly by Cosmo Sheldrake. I recently discovered these guys and I’m obsessed with their music, so I had to include it, especially since it fits so well.

In case you guys were wondering why I was so detailed with this club’s design, this is based off of the only real dance club/bar/place I’ve ever been to, and it was so much fun and totally not a cult or anything.

Warnings: Lots of stuff happens lol, it’s 10 pages my dudes. Lots of pain, confusion, panic, blood, guns, knifes, ect. Have fun yelling at me later please

[Sans Days/Nights]

[Buy me a coffee] [Patreon]

You stepped onto the sidewalk and glanced back, seeing Sans watching you nervously. A car honked behind him, making him jump slightly in the seat. You give him a quick wave and he drove off, leaving you in front of the club on your own. Well, Gaster was in your shadow, but you sure felt like you were on your own.

No turning back now.

You faced Man-Made again, quickly tucking your doubts to the back of your head, and stepped towards the door, and the bouncers stepped in your path.

They crossed their arms and looked down at you, and you suddenly noticed how very tall they were compared to you. You also realized that you were wearing your casual clothing- nothing you would associate with clubbing.

“I'm meeting some friends here.” You spoke up, somehow able to keep your voice stable. One of the guys raised an eyebrow at that.

“ID.” The other spoke. Holes in your plan were appearing faster than you thought.

“Uh-” You blinked. You quickly recovered, patting your pockets quickly more for show than anything else. “I must have forgot it…” You raised your hands in an attempt of a shrug, and both of the bouncers immediately grabbed your arms.

You had a moment of pure terror, before both of them flicked the cap off of a sharpie, and marking fat black X’s on the back of your hands.

“No ID, no drinks.” The other guy said, and both of them released you before stepping out from the doorway, giving you space to enter.

“R-right. Thank you.” You tried to keep your heart from racing right out of your chest, and taking your first steps into the building.

The doorway somehow kept most of the noise from escaping the club, but soon as you were in the volume of the place increased drastically. It was almost uncomfortably loud in here- though it was a lot smaller than you thought. In fact, it didn’t match the pictures on google at all. You looked around the average sized room, seeing four tall round tables surrounded by fancy stools, a single bar, and two bartenders. Less than a dozen people were in here, some bobbing to the music but a majority seemed to just be standing and talking quite loudly to each other.

A small group of people walked in from the corner of the room, and you realized it was a partially disguised entryway for the rest of the club. Acting as casual as you could, you made your way to the corner of the room, and felt yourself inhale when you saw the next part of the bar.

It was utterly massive.

It had to be at least eight times bigger than the first room, complete with a lowered dance floor, flashing lights, multiple couches, low tables, and TVs lining the walls. There was a huge bar on the far wall with three more bartenders, and dozens of people here all dancing their brains out with varying skill levels. A song was playing that you haven’t heard before, and while it seemed catchy, you didn’t know it would be this popular with the dance floor.

Little Fly, Thy summer's play My thoughtless hand has brushed away.

Am not I a fly like thee? Or art not thou a man like me?

For I dance and drink, and sing. Till some blind hand shall brush my wing. If thought is life and strength and breath And the want of thought is death;

Then am I a happy fly, If I live or if I die.

Then am I a happy fly. If I live, or if I die.

Someone stumbled past you to get onto the dance floor and spilt some fruity alcohol onto your foot, though they didn’t seem to notice and walk right through the middle of the dance floor. A couple other girls saw the drinks and cheered loudly. The coldness seeped through your shoe, acting as a quick reminder that you were here to do a task, not gawk at the dance floor.

You started walking along the raised walkway around the dance floor, trying to look for any clues to what this place had to do with your apartment. No one here was wearing any HP patches… though you did notice a lot of [M-M] logos everywhere, some people even wore jewelry of the logo. You noticed along the walls there were two staircases on opposite sides, one with a standard bathroom sign pointing up, the other with a door blocking the narrow stairway a few steps up. You kept walking around till you were on the other side of the dance floor, and saw some wide stairs leading down.

Looking past the stairs, you saw that they went down just enough to have two wide openings on both sides, before the stairs went up again and led to what looked like another entryway of the club. You quietly (not that it really mattered, with the booming music and all) stepped down to the lower floor, seeing on the left side was another smaller bar with a single bartender and a couple of tables, and on the right side was a small room with a pool table with a group of guys surrounding it and laughing loud enough to be heard over the music. Figuring you weren’t going to get any answers here, you turned to go back up to the dance room.

“-and like I said, the dent in the hood was totally worth it! You should have seen the dust just fill the air!” You froze, hearing one of the guy’s voices loudly brag to the others. You peeked back into the room, seeing it was the one with blonde hair in the stereotype douche haircut that was talking. “Those monsters should know the law! If the walk signal was at twenty seconds already, you aren’t suppose to cross the road! I was just enforcing the law!” The others laughed loudly at that, as if it was a hilarious joke and not about murdering a monster.

Your jaw tightened, along with your fists, and you turned to walk into the room. You felt pulled back, and when you looked you saw a holed pale hand wrapped tightly around your arm, darkness extending from your harsh shadow against the wall.

“They are not worth it.” Gaster’s voice whispered, yet somehow loud enough to be heard over the music.

“Didn’t you hear him?” You said in a hushed tone back to the shadow, assuming volume wasn’t important.

“I did. We are here for a reason, or have you forgotten? If you fight them now, not only will you not prove anything to them, but you will compromise our plan as well. It is worth noting that there are five of them and only one of you. You throw a punch at them, you will lose. You will be kicked out of this establishment, presumably in a worse state.” He paused. “Your safety should come first, no matter the insult.” Gaster reasoned, keeping his grip on you tight. You let his words settle in his mind, before relaxing your fists. He let go, and his hand vanished in the shadow. “Smart choice.”

You nodded, gritting your teeth at the fact he was right. As much as you wanted to pick a fight, there was no chance of you winning, or even changing their thoughts. Doesn’t mean they don’t deserve a punch to the face. You were about to leave back up to the dance floor, before you noticed a mostly empty beer bottle sitting on the lowest stair by your foot. Before Gaster could realize what you were doing, you quickly grabbed the bottle and hurled it at the douche’s head.

You were already running up the stairs by the time you heard crashing sound, which was quickly followed by some swears. “Less smart of a choice.” You heard Gaster’s voice whisper as you quickly side stepped between a group of people and hopped down onto the dance floor, immediately dancing to the current playing song as best as you could without paying attention to what song it was. A moment passed, and the guys rushed up from the stairs and looked around, but they didn’t know who they were suppose to look for. You felt a small smile creep onto your face when they shrugged and argued at each other, eventually turning back to the stairs. The douche rubbed his jaw line. It wasn’t bleeding or anything, so in your head it was the equivalent to a punch. Good.

You kept dancing for another few moments, wanting to make yourself seem casual as possible in case the guys came back. After a while, you didn’t see the guys, but you did see someone with a jean jacket and a HP patch walk along side of the dance floor, followed by another guy with a [M-M] black logo shirt. The two of them walked up the the little stairway that had the door, and the guy with the logo shirt unlocked it for the HP person, locking it behind them and standing against the wall with his arms crossed.

“We might have luck up there.” You mumbled. “Though we need a key…”

“Bump into the guard.” Gaster instructed.

“For a distraction?” You asked to clarify, slowly dancing your way across the floor.

“Just a small one.”

You nodded, stepping back up on the normal floor and looking around for the best way to do it. You pat your sides, and felt the familiar rectangle of your lighter, but you didn’t think that was probably the smartest idea at the moment. Slightly sighing to yourself, you decided to keep up the poor dancing, slowly making your way over to the guard. Once you were close enough, you “lost your balance” and bumped into him.

“Oh, I’m so sorry!” You quickly exclaimed, standing straight and acting embarrassed. The man smiled at you, shaking his head.

“‘Ain’t no problem. No harm done! Just try to keep the dancing to the dance floor, if you don’t mind.” He motioned to the lowered floor, and you quickly nodded.

“Thank you, and sorry again!” You added, quickly stepping down to the dance floor again, and started dancing in the crowd once more.

“You are quite the actor.” Gaster whispered a quick compliment, and you suddenly felt more weight in your pocket. You pat it from the outside, and felt the lump of a few keys in it. You couldn’t believe that worked. Now just to wait until you guys could get to the door without raising suspicion…

Turns out, that opportunity came quicker than you thought. It wasn’t even a full minute before the guard put a finger to his ear, listened to something, before walking towards the front of the club. Not wanting to waste the chance, you quickly made your way to the door.

“Talk about good luck.” You mumbled to Gaster as you scrambled to find the key that fit the door.

“There is no such thing as luck.” Gaster replied plainly, voice untrusting of the turn of events. Third key try was the fit, and you quickly opened the door and went up the stairs, locking the door behind you.

Behind the door was more narrow steps up, and once you got to the top the area opened up again, revealing that this was the area above the dance floor where the DJ and the light controls were. There were a few people sitting further in the room, deep in conversation, along with an older man DJing, completely involved with the music and looking over the dancers to notice you. You snuck past him and the others, seeing yet another stairway up.

The top of the stairs led up to a wide hallway with flickering fluorescent lighting. If it wasn’t for the bass of the music seeping in from below, you could have guessed this was just some sort of business office.

“Maybe you should grab Sans now…” You whispered, seeing doors up ahead along the sides of the hallway.

“Excellent idea. I will be right back. Do not move an inch.” He instructed, and you felt almost like gravity got ever so slightly lighter around you. A couple moments later, Gaster and Sans appeared beside you. Sans immediately hugged you before taking a step back.

“You sure were taking your time.” He half joked, but you could see his eyes looking around just slightly faster than usual.

“I had no idea what to expect.” You said, shrugging slightly. “I still don’t know what’s ahead. Far as I could tell this is just a xenophobic dance club, and we are totally trespassing right now man.”

Gaster chuckled at that.

“Oh this is quite the xenophobic establishment, that is certain. Can you not smell it?” Gaster looked down at you questionably.

“Smell...?” You questioned. Gaster’s eyes lowered slightly before he glanced back towards the hallway.

“Love.” Sans clarified in a tone that made it clear he wasn’t talking about the fluffy feeling in your gut. “This place reeks of dust.” You didn’t know what they were talking about, it smelt like any other building you’ve been in, though maybe more alcohol hanging in the air than usual.

“I do believe we have company.” Gaster announced quietly, taking a step to the side. You saw two men talking to each other walk out of one of the rooms, before suddenly noticing you three.

“Ay what the fuck! How’d those monsters get in ‘ere?” One of them yelled, the other quickly taking a step back and grabbing for something tucked in the back of his pants.

“Gun.” Gaster warned, vanishing and appearing behind the two men instantly. The one reaching for the gun was kicked towards you, his pistol skittering to the floor. The other one swiped at Gaster, a flash of silver catching your eye. Knife.

“Gaster, watch it!” You shouted- only to see a bone materialize and hit the knife wielder square in the gut. Sans stepped forward, motioning and sending another bone at the man to knock the knife out of his hand. The man fell backwards into the room he came out of, and you managed to see two more people in patched jean jackets in the room, abruptly standing from the table they must have been having some sort of meeting in.

“Keep back!” Sans warned you before stepping forward to make more bones, distracting one of the men as Gaster gracefully stepped into the room and blocked your view.

You heard a groan, and saw the man that originally had the gun picking himself up off of the ground. He spotted the pistol between the two of you, and scrambled towards it. You panicked, kicking the gun to the side out of his reach, and grabbed it before he could. You pointed it at his head, and he froze.

Your hands shook, realizing you were pointing an actual gun at a man.

His eyes flickered past you for a moment before he smiled, and slowly sat up with his hands up. You felt like you were getting tunnel vision. “Come’on… I won’t hurt you. Just put the gun down-” As he spoke, you saw a flash of purple from behind you. You took a slight step back in surprise, felt a tightness stretch behind your back, and felt the gun recoil in your hands.

The man collapsed in front of you in a bloody heap. The realization of what just happened made your stomach turn upside down, tightness surrounded your stomach. Before you could fulfill your stomach’s request of emptying itself, you felt a cold pain stabbing into your back, and had the sensation of drowning.

You blinked, and the pain was gone.

The man was alive.

The gun wasn’t fired.

You heard the slightest sound of a step behind you, and you quickly turned to see a woman holding a large butterfly knife. Between you and her was a thin purple thread, faintly glowing. She didn’t see it, and instead rushed at you. You yelled, trying to stop the knife with your gun-holding hand instead of shooting her, and felt a slash on the back of your hand. The gun clattered to the ground as more of the pain registered, and the woman held a crazy look in her eye. She stepped forward again, swinging wildly, only for darkness to appear in front of you.

The knife plunged deep into the side of Gaster, only for him to look down at it in disdain. “Pity.” He uttered. “Look away, human.” He looked over his shoulder at you, his orange haloes trapping you in them for a moment before you did as he said without a thought, turning away just in time to hear the scream and a sound you didn't know existed outside of video games or movies.

You quickly blinked and shook your empty thoughts out, turning to see a splatter of blood along the walls and floor. Gaster blocked most of the view, so you couldn’t see what exactly what he did, but your stomach still tightened at the sight of the red. You instinctively brought your hands to your mouth, eyes wide and unbelieving.

“Oh my god…” You uttered, the entire situation slowly settling heavy on your mind and gut.

“Human.” Gaster’s voice had a hint of a warning to it.

“Did… Did this actually… Did we…” You felt your chest heaving as you glanced towards the room, seeing even more red. You shook your head and pressed your hands more against your mouth. “I… I…”

“Human.” Gaster’s sharp voice got your attention, and his orange haloes burned in his sockets, completely drawing you into the centers of his eyes. You didn’t have it in you to resist the pull this time. “Be calm.”

And you were.

You felt your hands lower, and your breathing returned to normal.

Sans stepped out of the room, flipping through a couple of stained wallets, pulling out one of the IDs and looking at it. “They’re HP alright, looks like this-” He looked up, and his neutral eyes widened with offense when he saw you. “Gaster-”

“They were unstable. Not what we needed in this situation.” Gaster quickly explained, putting his hands up and taking a step back. That excuse didn’t sit well with Sans. His hands drew into fists.

“Then calm them down the regular way! Don’t use your magic on my human.” Sans’ pin lights vanished and the left one started glowing blue. You could feel the magic grow thick in the air.

You couldn’t bring yourself to be concerned about it, however.

“What the hell is with all of the-” One of the doors further down the hallway opened up, and a familiar man with a broken nose and grey leather jacket walked out with a gun mid-pull. When he saw the horrific mess in the hallway, the gun snapped back into place. “Oh. Well, I’m sure this is awkward.” He said, casually motioning as if having a pleasant conversation, before abruptly raising a gun and firing it in your direction.

Your eyes barely had the time to register the dark mass of Gaster appearing in front of you before he fell heavily to the ground, yelling out. Another shot rang through the air and you saw Sans teleport out of the corner of your eye.

Leader Prick, as you recognized him, quickly turned and ran down the hall. You couldn’t think about what you were doing, and charged after him. You heard Sans shout something, but you were focused on Leader Prick opening the door wide for himself, and closing it with a slam before you were anywhere close to it.

His mistake.

You could feel the magical calmness break away from you, and you brought your mind to focus on what little of the room you saw before he closed it. You felt the needles scratch over your skin as you continued to run at the door. “Something scary… Something scary…” You muttered to yourself, trying to get yourself to teleport.

“No! Nonono, Bro, stay with me!!” You heard Sans’ panicked voice behind you. That did the trick.

The needles sharpened across your skin and your felt yourself pulled forward, seeing the elegant room form in front of you. Lovely desk, chairs, even a fancy water cooler in a corner. The whole room seemed out of place compared to the bar-

The needles then suddenly converged onto your leg.

You screamed, your vision blurring with white as the pain intensified and you half collapsed as your hands went to grab where the pain was, only to slam against wood. Your vision cleared slightly, and you saw where your thigh met the solid door, or rather, where your leg went through the door.

Through the ringing in your ears, you could hear laughter. You gasped in air and continued crying out from the pain, only to feel cold metal under your chin and lift your head to face the Leader of HP.

“Why… Wouldn’t you look at that.” The Leader had a half smile as he stepped back, resting the robotic arm he used to lift your chin on his shoulder like a club.

“...Darling?” Mettaton’s voice asked quietly, and you could see him laying in the far corner of the room without any limbs. He looked okay, other than the fact his arms and legs were missing, and a small puddle of oil under him.

“Shut it, Gearhead!” Leader shouted, pointing the metal arm at Mettaton. “I’ve been waiting forever to make dialogue with the pet that broke my pretty face and stole my meals, and you ain’t gonna ruin that for me.” Mettaton grew quiet, and the Leader turned back to you. He fixed the collar of his jacket, and you saw some dust float into the air at the action.

“... Go on.” He motioned to you, and you realized he was waiting for you to say something. No words could form in your head, the pain of your leg overriding all of your thoughts. “Come on, ask me! I’ve waited so long to reason to you about why I am the way I am!” He smiled and took a step back, still waiting for you to question him.

“Fine, you don’t need to ask, I’ll just explain.” His hand whipped around and he grabbed a chair from behind him, pulling it up till he could sit on it. “I’m not against you, pet. I’m for the both of us! Don’t you see? When was the last time you’ve heard news on the radio ‘bout racists? Cops, mayors, presidents, random acts of violences, what have you?” He asked, motioning wildly with the metal arm. He waited, and you actually tried to think back on it.

“Been a while, ey? A few months, at least, right?” He leaned forward, tapping your head with the arm. “Think about it, pet. Humans always gotta be fighting something, else we fight each other. Racists, rebellions, war, everything! All of that, is just based on that little fact. Humans need to fight to survive, else, we kill each other off! Isn’t that all sorts of messed up?” He philosophize, spinning himself in his chair.

“So I’m doing my part in making sure we survive.” He stopped spinning, and looked at you with purpose. “As long as we are fighting them, we don’t need to be fighting each other. Don’t you see? I’m saving us, by teaming us up against them.” He said excitedly, as if he discovered the cure for cancer.

You couldn’t believe what you were hearing, and he seemed to see that by your face.

“What? Come’on, don’t look at me like that! You know I’m right, deep down! Letting people use their human nature to fight against others is healthy, and as long as it’s against those things, then no one is hurt by it! Just some extra dust lying around, who cares?” He asked with a shrug, and the pit in your stomach grew. “What do you say?”

It took all of what was left of your willpower to not simply keep crying from the pain, and instead you inhaled and shakily said, “Go... to Hell.” You weakly spit at his direction, unable to put in the power to actually reach him.

He didn’t seem impressed by that. “I suppose having you stuck there isn’t helping your judgement. Shame. The fact you just helped murder a few of my most loyal followers puts you in a rather poor light in the eyes of the law, I could have helped you out if you thought it was in your best interest of survival. Oh well.” He stood up and started walking to the far desk. “No no, don’t get up. Allow me. I’ll call-”

Whatever he was saying was cut off by you pulling out his soul.

His burning, red, soul.

“Well… would you look at that.” He laughed, putting his hands up to either side of his soul and facing you again. “You are full of all sorts of tricks, aren’t you?” He smiled grabbing the soul with one hand and holding it up like an apple.

“Rumor has it that Red Souls are rather special. Rumor also has it that you, pet, have one as well?” He asked, other hand reaching behind him. “You know what, because of this little development, let’s make a little wager. You win, you can continue on your silly little life of being a pet and aiding in humanity destructing itself. I win, and I get to keep all of my loyal followers, and we save humanity my way. Deal?”

You didn’t understand, but he didn’t wait for an answer anyway. He pulled out a knife and plunged it into his soul, immediately collapsing.

“HIC!”

The hiccup completely disrupted your thoughts, causing you to pause in your steps and gather yourself for a moment, and looked at Gaster and Sans, who were standing close to the doorway and looking at you with concerned faces.

“Oh… Sorry, lost my train of thought.” You shook your head, and realized your headache vanished. Your mouth opened without your permission for another hiccup, so strong you almost had to take a step back. “Wow those came out of nowhere.” You commented, feeling rather confused on the hiccups. Another one came, quieter than the last ones, but still as shocking.

Gaster and Sans looked at each other, seeming to say something through their eyes alone.

“That didn’t go as planned.” Gaster uttered. He glanced around Alphy’s apartment rather tiredly, bringing a hand up to his forehead.

“What didn’t?” You asked.

#Sans Days #sans x reader #self insert #reader insert #undertale #oh boy this was a fun one #please let me know what you think lol #I've been dying to finally write this part of the arc and I'm rather anxious now that its posted #<3 #love you guys so much

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tiredcommunisstt · 7 years

Text

1. Whats the real reason i’m confused right now?

uhm theres a lot of things that are confusing me like basically what the fuck is going on with my life and why i can’t leave or lose feelings for my abuser who just so happens to be my boyfriend.

2. Do i ever get good morning texts?

lol no

3. If your significant other smoked pot would you care?

it'd honestly be preferable

4. Do you find it easy to trust others?

absolutely. until they give me reasonable cause not to, in that case, i may never trust them again.

5. what were you doing at 11pm last night?

falling asleep w my headphones in

6. You're drunk and lost walking down a road, who is with you?

probably @shez-a-goner

7. What would you do if you found out you had been cheated on?

welp. funny you should ask. theres not much you can do except exist in a permanently soul-shattered state.

8. are you close with your dad?

no. i don’t know my real dad whatsoever and my adoptive dad and me never talk.

9. I bet you kissed someone last night, right?

yes

10. What are you listening to?

currently, the sound of alex flushing the toilet.

11. You can only drink one liquid for the rest of your life- what is it?

Uhm? what the fuck else would it be? water obviously

12. do you like hickeys?

the idea, yes. i don't like getting them, they kinda hurt.

13. what time do you go to bed?

mainly before midnight. like around 11 ish.

14. is there someone who constantly lets you down?

yes

15. can you text as quickly with one hand as you do both?

16. do you always answer texts?

17. Do the hate the person you fell the hardest for?

its complicated

18. when was the last time you talked to your best friends?

last night

19. is there someone that make you happy everytime you see them?

yes @shez-a-goner

20. what was the last thought you had before you went to bed last night?

i fucking love xanax

21. is anyone else in the room with you?

my boyfriend

22. do you believe what goes around comes around?

yeah

23. where you happier four months ago than you are now?

nah it was winter dude. i don't fucks with winter.

24. is there someone you wish you could fix things with?

25. in the past week have you cried?

yeah

26. what color is the shirt you're wearing?

blue

27. do people ever call you by your last name?

no and they better not i hate that shit.

28. is anyone ignoring you right now?

probably god.

29. do you have a best friend?

yes

30. would it be hard seeing someone else kiss the last person you kissed?

yes. I've imagined him kissing her a billion trillion times in my head though so its whatever.

31. who was your last call from?

my probation officer

32. are you mad at anyone?

always and forever

33. have you ever kissed someone older than you?

yeah

34. how old will the last person you kissed be on his/her next birthday?

35. how many more days till your birthday? idk. its on october 29th.

36. do you have summer plans yet?

37. do you have any good friends of the opposite sex?

yeah

38. are you keeping anything from your best friend now?

39. do you have a secret you've never told anyone?

yeah

40. have you ever regretted kissing someone?

yeah

41. do you think age matters in relationships?

yes and no, if its some predator shit then yes. if you're both other than like 20 and you have a few years between you it doesn't matter at all.

42. are you available?

for what

43. how many people have you had real, strong feelings for since high school ended?

one

44. if you had to get a piercing(not ears) what would you get?

nose or belly button

45. do you believe exes can be friends?

depends

46. do you regret anything?

of course.

47. honestly whats on your mind right now?

everything. I'm overwhelmed with my life right now and i wish i could just run away.

48. did you ever lose a best friend?

yeah

49. was your last kiss a mistake?

not really.

50. why arent you pursuing the person you like?

they're taken

51. has the person you last kissed ever seen you cry?

considering the fact that they're primarily the reason i cry, yes

52. do you still talk to the person you last kissed?

duh, i live with them

54. what was the last thing you ate?

the CARS movie shaped mac and cheese

55. where are you going on your next vacation?

hell.

56. do you own anything from other countries?

most likely.

57. are most of your friends girls or guys?

girls

58. where have you lived most of your life?

the state of despair.hahahah uh, michigan

59. when was the last time you took a long drive?

considering the fact that alex fucking just randomly drives around forever and ever, probs recently.

60. have you ever played spin the bottle?

yeah. at a bonfire and in ninth grade at the end of the year school picnic.

61. have you ever TP’d someones house?

uhm no but i had this huge crush on a girl when i was like 13. and my friends preston, cara, and i snuck out of their house at night and walked over to her house and poured cans of peaches and cream of mushroom soup all over her parents cars because she didn't like me back. #wild

62. who do you text the most?

alex and vickii

63. what was the last movie you saw?

bad santa 2

64. whats preventing your current boyfriend/girlfriend from going back to their ex?

HAAAAA. the fact that he cheated on her(with me....even though technically me and him were dating first) AND SHE HATES HIS FUCKING gUts. he broke her fuckin heart i highly doubt she ever wants to see his faggot face ever again.

65. how many bf/gfs did you have in 2010?

none lmao i was like 12.

66. is the last person you kissed younger than you?

HE ACTS IT. (but no)

67. do you curse around your parents?

fuck no.

68. are you happy with where you live?

69. pic of myself?

70. are you a monogamous person or do you believe in open ended relationships?

hum if we're fucking dating i better be the only fucking one bitch

71, have you ever been dumped?

72. what do you like the most about making out?

I've never really....made out.. with someone. to me its more intimate than like sex itself. and I'm really uncomfortable. i don't know how to kiss. if i ever make out with someone ill probably have to ask them to marry me because to me thats a Big Deal.

73. have you ever casually made out with someone?

no bitch

74. when you kiss someone for the first time is it you who initiates it?

id rather die than make the first move

75. what part of a person body do you find the most attractive?

eyes. but i also like the underside of peoples wrists,,,like where their veins are.

76. who was the last person you talked to before you went to bed?

alex

77. had sex with someone you knew less than an hour?

yes. for drugs lol.

78. had sex with someone you didn't know their name?

uhm at the time i knew his name but I've forgotten it so when i go through my body count i just refer to him as john

79. what makes your heart flutter and brings a big cheesy smile to your face?

i once had a big ass crush on this girl i used to work with at kroger and i always wanted to be her bagger cuz everything she did had me like motherfucking heart eyes lmao.

80. would you get involved w someone who had a child already?

thats a question i do not know the answer to.

81. has someone who had a crush on you ever confessed to you?

no one has ever had a crush on me.

82. do you tell a lot of people when you have a crush?

literally like everyone EXCEPT for that person. when i have a crush on someone I'm like completely obsessed and wanna shout it from the mountains.

83. do you miss your last sweetie?

i miss Kroger cashier girl lol kinda i haven't had too many crushes. also this girl i was crushing on, but she like low-key doesn't like me and had a girlfriend the whole time lol

84. last time you slow danced with someone?

probs prom 2015

85. have you ever dated someone you've never met?

no. thats fuckin Stupit

86. how can i win your heart?

uhmmmmmmmmm idk. i fall in love with people who make me laugh and people who are completely unavailable. so just make sure theres absolutely no way for us to ever come together and ill probably get down on one knee for the fuck of it. i love a good never-ending chase.

87. whats your sign?

S C O R P I O. and yes. i love being a scorpio.

88. What were you doing last night at 12 am?

sleeping.

89. do you cook?

not to brag but fuck yeah. i ran the kitchen at a small family restaurant called the yum yum tree. one thing I'm definitely great at.

90. have you ever gotten back in touch with an old flame after a time of more than three months of no communication?

91. if you're single right now, do you wish you were in a relationship?

switch that question around and it would be a yes.

92. do you prefer to date various people or do you pretty much fall into monogamous relationships quickly?

i want the real deal and nothing less. i don't like to play around with peoples feelings.

93. what physical traits do you look for in a potential interest?

idk. i don't have a type. if all the things you have on your body come together in a cute way, you're cute, and i think you're cute, and thats that

94. name four things you wish you had:

love

stability

happiness

my dream body

95. are you a player?

96. have you ever kissed two people in one day?

yes

97. are you a tease?

yeah. i like to send nudes and shit to guys and then never respond to them after they compliment me:)

98. ever meet anyone you met on tumblr?

99. have you ever been deeply in love with someone?

i don't know. at this point in my life i don't think i really grasp what love is. its always me having strong feelings for someone and never having it returned....isnt that just infatuation?

100. anyone on tumblr you'd go on a date with?

theres like a billion people on this site I'm sure theres someone id go on a date with

101. hugs or kisses.

depends

102. are you too shy to ask someone out?

id rather die than ask someone out

103. the first thing i notice about the opposite sex?

probably their hair, facial features

104. is it cute when a boy/girl calls you babe?

yeah

105. if a sexy person was pursuing you, but you knew she/he was in a relationship, would you go for it?

fuck off.

106. do you flirt a lot?

like never

107. your last kiss?

like twenty mins ago

108. have you kissed more than five people since the start of 2011?

maybe close but maybe not. idk

109. have you kissed anyone in the past month?

uh yeah. whats with the intense interest in kissing?

110. if you could kiss anyone who would it be?

a girl

111. do you know who you'll kiss next?

i have an idea..

112. does someone like you currently.

well I'm in a relationship buttttttt i....doubt....it

113. do you currently have feelings for someone?

yes

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tortuga-aak · 7 years

Text

How the symbiotic relationship between Trump and Fox News has fundamentally changed American politics

Gabriel Sherman reported on Fox News' former head Roger Ailes and his sexual misconduct.

Sherman believes Fox News has changed after Ailes and that current head Rupert Murdoch hates Donald Trump.

Gabriel Sherman says Fox News has an aging demographic and is clinging to Trump because its keeping their viewership strong.

On this week’s episode of my podcast, I Have to Ask, I spoke with Gabriel Sherman, a special correspondent for Vanity Fair. In a recent piece for the magazine, Sherman reported that people in the White House were concerned about President Trump’s mental health and wondered whether he was in a state of decline. He is also the author of The Loudest Voice in the Room, a biography of Roger Ailes. Sherman’s reporting on Ailes’ conduct helped lead to his downfall at Fox News for sexual misconduct.

Below is an edited transcript of the show. In it, we discuss whether Trump’s behavior is really getting worse, how Fox News has changed since Ailes’ departure, and why Rupert Murdoch secretly “loathes” the president.

You can find links to every episode here; the entire audio interview is below. Please subscribe to I Have to Ask wherever you get your podcasts.

Isaac Chotiner: We know each other a little bit, and I think the reason is because about five years ago we were probably the only two people in our extended social circle spending hours every day watching Fox News. You were watching Fox because you wrote a very informative book about Roger Ailes, and I was watching Fox because I’m a sad, pathetic person who wanted to make myself more depressed. And then we started text messaging and talking about Fox. What got you so obsessed with Ailes and writing about Fox News?

Gabriel Sherman: I’ve covered media and politics for the better part of my journalism career, and I had written a series of pieces for New York magazine about cable news. Reporting in that world, I realized that Roger Ailes, through the founding of Fox News, had just fundamentally rewired the way politics was practiced in America.

I looked and talked to my book agent and realized that there had not been a real rigorously reported and authoritative biography of Ailes. So I thought it was a great subject for my first book, and I naïvely didn’t really understand that the reason there had not been a book about Ailes is that he is—or was, now that he’s passed away—one of the most vindictive and paranoid people that have probably ever lived.

He did everything he could to thwart and attack and demean reporters who wrote about him, and I found myself for about three years in his crosshairs. He hired private investigators to dig into my past and commissioned right-wing websites to smear my reputation in not-so-veiled anti-Semitic ways.

But I think [my book explained] how Fox News worked from the inside and revealed it to be a real cult of personality that functioned as a megaphone for Ailes’ paranoid and really eccentric and bizarre worldview filled with Islamophobia, racism, and really extreme political viewpoints that a lot of people perhaps thought were just cynical ways to market a news network to an audience, but were in fact real expressions of his extremism.

Jim Cooper/AP

Do you feel that you had some sort of insight into Trump early on because of this?

Without question. We should remember that Ailes gave Trump a weekly call-in segment on Fox & Friends, which is the id, the ideological core of Fox News. It’s where the talking points that Ailes wanted to inject into the bloodstream originated. Once a week, Trump would call in for unfettered, freewheeling discussion to put out his worldviews, and that’s where Trump really pushed a lot of the birther and racism ideas and the anti-immigration positions that became the bedrock of his candidacy.

You were saying that Ailes was not taken seriously as someone who actually had this frightening worldview, and I think aspects of Trump are made for TV. But I also think that one thing we’ve learned in the past two-plus years is that many of these views that he expresses are probably more honestly held by him than people assumed when he rode the escalator in Trump Tower in June 2015.

Without question. We all need to remind ourselves that Donald Trump has been a race-baiter pretty much for most of his adult life. In fact, going back to his early years, his father famously was tried by the Justice Department for housing discrimination in their middle-class housing developments in Brooklyn and Queens. Donald Trump in the 1980s took out a full-page ad after the notorious Central Park jogger case.

What is your sense of how Fox News has changed since Ailes left the network?

In some ways, it’s changed a lot. The culture of fear that he presided over with the PR department functioning like an internal security service—spying on employees, leaking damaging info to media about it, wayward employees—that’s mostly gone by the wayside.

The lockstep talking points that emanated out of his second-floor office have also subsided. The network does not function as a pure expression of one person’s worldview. What I see now is more of a business. And Rupert Murdoch, who privately loathes Donald Trump—I think it’s a little bit of a false narrative that’s been out there in the press that Murdoch and Trump have forged this bromance. I think this is purely a business decision.

You think actually “loathes”? That’s a strong word.

I know from my reporting that people who have been in private settings with Murdoch say that he makes dismissive comments of Trump and tells him to stop tweeting, which is something that Trump will be doing till his last dying breath. Yeah, this is not a close, personal relationship. This is, from my reporting, a business relationship, and Murdoch was smart enough to know that the audience Ailes had assembled are die-hard Trump voters, so it doesn’t make sense really to shift the network ideologically.

You say that Murdoch may loathe Trump, and it’s clear that his sons do not like Trump and do not like the ideas Trump is putting into the country.

We should point out that James Murdoch’s wife just recently tweeted comments about sexual assault and harassment being wrong on both sides, which people took to be a veiled swipe perhaps not only at Donald Trump but at Roger Ailes.

Kevin Hagen/Getty

OK, but while I get that, and I get why the Murdochs are not going to turn Fox News into a left-wing or centrist network because it’s incredibly important part of the business, it does seem that they could do something about things like Fox & Friends, which is full of conspiracy theories and fake news and seems to influence Trump in a negative way. We often see him tweeting ridiculous things that he clearly has seen minutes before on Fox & Friends. I’m surprised that there’s been no effort by the Murdochs if this is how they feel to at least clean up some of the crazier stuff on Fox.

No, I agree. I don’t think you would perhaps dramatically lose their viewership if they dialed back the conspiracy theories by even 25 percent, but I think Rupert Murdoch’s philosophy since he replaced Ailes after Ailes was fired in July of 2016 has been to do no harm. Murdoch has, with a light touch, removed the internal fear and paranoia that presided over the network, but externally the programming on air has largely remained intact. I don’t think there is a necessarily compelling reason for that other than they know that Fox News is the profit center of 21st century, and they don’t want to mess with it.

You have these surreal moments where the Wall Street Journal editorial page—which Murdoch owns and which I think a lot of people see as being close to Murdoch’s actual views—will write something about Trump is doing this well, but he needs to stop tweeting crazy things, and then that morning, he will have tweeted something crazy that he saw on Fox.

It’s a hydra-headed beast. We should also mention Sean Hannity. I know you talked about Fox & Friends, but Hannity, who Trump just gave an hour sit-down interview with, is perhaps the most influential outside adviser to the Trump administration. I was talking to a very prominent Fox person recently who was telling me how often Hannity talks to Trump. Trump calls him almost every night after Hannity’s prime-time show just to give him feedback and bat around ideas and gripe about all the people who are sliding him. Between Fox & Friendsstarting the day and Hannity ending the day, the network is really book-ended by the most pro-Trump media. It’s something much closer to the way Putin’s media and Russia state-run media functions than it would be historically an American media institution.

One of the points of your book is that Ailes was a brilliant showman and made great hires, including people like Bill O’Reilly, who people may find distasteful but are incredible television personalities and talents. Now you see people like Tucker Carlson, who has failed at basically every TV show he’s ever had until now and who I do not think is a particularly skilled broadcaster. You see their 9 p.m. hour, which has been a mess, and they can’t quite figure out what to do with it, and they’re still getting great ratings. Ailes obviously was a television genius, but it also seems like we’re at this point with the right-wing audience in America—not to sound condescending—where you can put anything on the air and you will get extremely good ratings. It almost reminds me of the fact that the Republican president can do anything he wants and still have a 35 percent approval rating.

There is something to that. Ailes used to joke around the office that the Fox News audience was aged 55 to dead. And there is a kernel of truth to that joke. But the Fox News audience is really an actuarial game at this point. They get older ever year. I believe some of the statistics I saw were like 68-something years old for the [average] age of the Fox News viewers.

These are people whose habits are set, and they come home or they sit at home—a lot of these people are shut-ins—and they click on Fox in the morning and they just keep it on all day. It doesn’t really matter the content of the programming, except it has to remain reliably conservative and somewhat conspiratorial.

At this point the audience is baked in, and it’s a very stable audience. But we should point out that it’s not a growing audience. The ratings still dominate the cable race, but it’s a very static, set number. This is not a growth industry, and we’ve seen in fact, in online media, the growth and explosion of sites like Breitbart, which have tapped into this new generation of the younger, Gamergate kind of guys. That is the more dynamic part of the ring-wing movement.

To turn to Trump: Do you really sense that he’s declining in noticeable ways, and is this a widespread fear in the White House?

One thing that I reported this week in my Vanity Fair piece is that one of the reasons Trump has cocooned himself inside the Fox News bubble—granting basically his only live television interviews to Sean Hannity, Fox & Friends, and Mike Huckabee—is that, if you talk to Trump advisers, they’ll tell you he has lost a step.

Recently, he was supposed to appear on the season premiere of 60 Minutes, and Trump declined to do the interview, but it was discussed, and Trump advisers breathed the sigh of relief that that interview didn’t happen. The idea of Trump being in an adversarial live TV interview where the audience and viewers could see him flailing and rambling I think was cringe-worthy to his inner circle.

Richard Drew/AP

When I hear usually secondhand from people who worked for Trump or talk to reporters who talked to these people, there seems to be almost nobody in the White House who has anything other than contempt for Trump—no one who really seems to believe in him, and everyone seems to treat him like a child. Is that a fair accounting, according to your reporting?

I think that’s generally fair. There are a few exceptions—some of the campaign loyalists, like Dan Scavino and Hope Hicks, and some of the longtime Trump confidants who he’s brought into the West Wing.

I think the best way to put it is that these men and women say, This man was democratically elected. This is the system. We had the Electoral College for better or worse. The American people wound up with this president, so they are doing their best to serve the country even if they see on a daily basis things that are completely illogical.

So when they express dismay over Trump’s mental state or his managerial abilities or lack thereof, do people talk about him like he’s like an uncle who says embarrassing things? Are people actually scared of where the country is headed? Did they not care because they’re nihilists? I think it’s all of the above. I can’t speak, obviously, to the calculations that I’m sure anyone in the West Wing is making about why they’re there and why they’re working in this administration.

I had a very senior Trump adviser tell me this week that Trump’s lost a step. This adviser said that Trump reminded him of his grandmother when she started to lose it a little bit in her later years. This is the man that people who work with him see. People are there for their own ambition. People are there for the safety of the country—Gen. John Kelly and James Mattis and people who genuinely want to protect the national security of the United States. I think this will be a storyline that will continue to play out.

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dyhnsr-blog · 7 years

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Tuesday, Feb 20th 2017

*big sigh*

there’s just too many things on my mind lately.

firstly, im completely obsessed with this guy from a korean kpop band that i initially didnt like just because they were mainstream. but once i saw their foolish and playful sides, i grew attached and obsessed with them, kept on going to my ‘explore’ tab on instagram to find all the fan sites based on them and based on this extremely good looking guy. i love his face, its sooo skinny and soft and triangular and his mouth is so small that it pouches naturally. i think this is the loneliness syndrome hitting me because im in that place where im longing to be with somebody. so to you, whom i will in the future babble none stop regarding my life journey and whining and thoughts, shall have to bear with me. its a lonnnnnngggggg story and i wish and dream for us to sit in bed and read all of my journals and diaries and tumblr posts and youtube videos and videos on my phone with hot chocolate and snacks next to our bed. of course, ill get all sweaty from all that sudden rush because i can finally share it with someone. and of course, you should know that my body reacts that way and you should know it by now, more than ever, that ive opened my heart out all for you and willing to get rid of that wall. so yeah, going back to this guy sehun, i just love how effortlessly good looking and tall and skinny and perfectly good looking (oops twice already hehe) he is. and hes kinda weird too, serious 50% of the time or blur or just really dont give a damn and 50% cheeky. but yeah. hes all about the branding tho, which i do not like. all of his airport purchases are high end products and i can see he cares for it a little bit too much, and i dont fancy that. 10points off of you sehun ahhaha. but oh well. i like having him as my ‘obsession’ right now since i dont have anybody special by my side right now to ooze over.

second, news have it that eera msu’s mum just passed away this morning. im absolutely terrified, anything can happen. it saddens me that as we are growing older and progressing in life and venturing into a different phase of our lives, our parents are going through that phase. and that phase is certainly not infinity and certainly unpredictable. i hate that. i hate facing the fact that people die and life moves on without them. i hate having to feel that absence but since time continues on anyway, in two three years time, you dont really feel that loss as much. i hate that. i feel like a betrayer because as time moves on, you have different things that you have to juggle with and thus, you kinda forget. i hate it. i know each human is like that and i know for a fact that ill be like that but please, hidayah, please remember your loved ones that passed away every single day. please. even just for a second before bed, please remember them. and to you, my other half, please be my eternal supporter and remind me to sedekahkan alfatihah to them every day before going to bed. please, i love you and for you to show me your love, please help me do this because those people that passed away were a major part of my life, and i literally couldnt live without them. please, please.

third. i would like to be more approachable and open to people. when i go back to malaysia, i wish to just hangout with my brother and sister during the weekends and take them out for dinners and just chill and get to know them as a person, not really as a sibling. because one you know them inside out, it automatically makes you love them unconditionally because of who they are, not because they are related to you by blood and birth. coz i love my friends and ive never had the same love for my siblings until recently. so yeah. id like to hang out with my brother more, especially because he has mellowed down and i think he has a lot of life lessons in his life. id also like to hang out with my dad more and you know at eid, id like to sit in the circle where my uncles talk and stuff. i just want to sit besides them and listen to their life stories. its interesting and where and when else can you gather those kinds of life experience? idk, i just cant wait to be back at home and be a different person, more optimistic and less judgmental.

fourth. pera’s getting married. sarah iman’s getting married. filzah and xxxxx’s getting married. migha’s otw. xxxxxx’s otw. kak norim and kak kin recently got married. im happy for everyone. im esthetic that everyone has found their other halves. i mean, marriage isnt all happy with birds singing lullabies to you. no, its about two people tolerating and loving each other more than themselves. to my other half, i hope that we can get to know each other inside out and talk till the sun goes up and just tell each other what weve been doing in the last 20-25 years alone. i know youll complete me and i know well have countless fights but please never give up on me because im really soft hearted with those i love and give in when you push the right buttons. please love me the way ill love you. never give up. never compare. accept me the way i am. support me. be happy for me. encourage me. motivate me. be kind to me. be funny to me. make me happy. and once in a while when life gets in the middle of everything and our kids are making us crazy as hell, take me out and lets have some us time. lets rekindle that love and lets remember why you chose me and why we chose each other. i have many sides of me, and im sure youll have surprisingly countless sides to your personality too (duh thats why i chose you), so please, lets embrace that and be happy together until forever. in sha allah. for allah’s sake. for he created us.

xoxo, dayah

~more than words

#love latenigtthoughts

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missjackil · 5 years

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Miss Jacki’s Top 30 Favorite Episodes

All Hell Breaks Loose pts 1&2

I believe these are landmark episodes for every SPN fan. Im going to treat this like one episode because it really seems like one single episode.

A little back history, I came to this show late, it was already in S11 when I started binging fron the beginning. It was by the request of my friend, who had tod me a few times that she thought Id love the show, and I didnt believe her. fanatasy/horror/super hero shows are not my genre. I like dramas like NCIS and House MD but this? This is kid stuff.... not my thing. But I took her advice and watched. She made me promise to watch the first 2 seasons and if I still didnt like it by the end of S2, we could move on. So I did. I didnt think seasons 1 and 2 sucked, I liked Sam Dean and John a lot but, the monsters, acting, and overall story was meh IMO. S2 was better, at least one or two more episodes from then made it to my top 30, but this one sealed my fate. I had heard a lot about this amazing, unmatchable chemistry these two had, but I wasnt really feeling the love. They fought constantly, Dean seemed too clingy and Sam seemed to not want to be with him much at all. and I wasnt really seeing this epic bromance I had been told about. And then All Hell Broke Loose! Sam mysteriosuly gets zapped away to demon camp, and Dean is desperate to find him. Sam’s side of the episode is very interesting, we are really seeing his leadership skills in action, and how he can be totally freaked out and not let it show. Jake, was such a good character, Im still upset he didnt stay around for a while, even as a bad guy.

Of course, the most important part of these episodes is that Sam is killed, and Dean’s brokeness and despiration. Im very shocked at first that Sam actually dies. I had thought since the show was in its 11th season at the time, that Sam and Dean cant/don’t die ever, so I never really had much concern for their well being. I learned they could be beat to hell and next episode they’re shiney and pretty as new, and if they’re still on the air, they obviously cant die right? And in a sense its true that they cant die, or stay dead, they still somehow manage to make their deaths very traumatizing. I learned here, that its not so much that one brother died, its more about the reaction of the other. Sam and Dean never know its not final. We may know, but they dont.

Jake and Sam have this big fight. Jake is strong af but Sam manages to hold his own. This solidifies the notion I had, that even though Dean is the agressive one, and much faster to punch or kill, Sam Winchester is NOT a wimp. not a “damsel”. He is also strong af, a damn good fighter and has a very high pain threshold. He knocks the super charged “benched 800 lbs stone cold calm” Jake out cold. Almost kills him, but decides against it.... he wont make that mistake again eh? Walking away with apparently a broken shoulder, or arm, he hears Dean and sees him in the distance. DEAN!!! Sam smiles and releif washes over him, Dean isnt dead!! But right in front of Dean, Jake comes in from behind and stabs Sam in the back, and slices.... and severs Sams spinal cord WTF?? This scene is etched in every fans mind forever. Jensens acting here is nothing short of oscar worthy, but lets take a minute to appreciate Jared’s also. He doesnt have a speaking part right here, but he is truly portraying someone with a severed spinal cord. He falls to his knees to be imediately caught by Dean. He cant hold his head up, lift his arms, or even keep his eyes straight.He cant talk or even gasp for breath. Dean knows but is in complete denial. He’s gonna fix it, thats his job!! Take care of his pain in the ass little brother!! Deans shock and denial, along with his honest helpless greif, destroys me! The way he holds Sam and screams his name... and then burries his face in Sams hair and cries. I just cant! Next, we see that Dean has carried Sam’s body to an abandoned shack, and laid him on a mattress. Dean has laid Sams hands on his stomach like he’s resting. For a day or more, Im not sure, Dean stands there and stares at his dead little brother. He refuses to bury or burn him. Bobby doesnt want to leave him alone, he obviously cant handle this situation, but Dean has no shits to give. The person he loves most in the world is gone. Screw everything else. Dean starts talking to dead Sam and this is heart wrenching. These 2 episodes change everything as far as their brotherly relationship goes. Its no longer just close, and deep its psychotic, irrational, dangerous, and the most beautiful thing ever! Dean doesnt know what to do. This is the absolute worst part of losing someone you love. The next step, what do you do? How can you even begin to try to continue to live? Dean is beyond desperate. He goes and sells his soul to bring Sam back. And he doesnt get 10 years or even 5, he gets 1 year. 1 year and then he’s damned to eternal torment in hell. They cant try to break the contract or Sam dies again. A terrible trade off, but Dean takes it. When he sees Sam standing there in the room, alive, he gives him such a great hug!! This begins my obsession for brohugs!! Fast forward to the cemetery scene. A lot is going on here, Azazel is griefing them, Jake opens the hell gates (though the boys are blamed for this forever) Azazel asks Dean is Sam is REALLY the same old Sam?? We all wonder if Sam is ok when he stone cold shoots Jake repeatedly, with that one little blood drop on his face. Overall, Sam seems like Sam, but we at least know hes a little more killy now lol. We get a bonus reunion with John, he touches Deans shoulder, gives him a tearfilled smile, and looks at Sam. For a long time, I was a little bit bitter that John didnt show any affection to Sam, but then I realized, or maybe its just a head canon, but John may have known that Dean sold his soul for Sam, and Joh was silently telling Dean he understood. John sold his soul for Dean, so he was like “The things we’ll do for love, right son?” John did some crappy things, but no one will ever convince me that he didnt love those boys with all his heart. Sam figures out that Dean sold his soul for him, and hes pissed. But he finally comes out with what I needed to know for 2 seasons “Youre my brother... theres NOTHING I wouldnt do for you”. Yes... Sam is just as irrational, psychotic, and dangerously in love with Dean.And with that.... I was sold on SPN. I dont regularly go back to watch these episodes, but when I do, it still tears me up. Even moreso now that so much has happened because of it. Sometimes, something big happens on the show and the negative people say that it makes this, or Deans trip to Hell, or Swan Song lose meaning, and it truly doesnt. It makes those things have more meaning. Everything that unfolded after those events up till now makes them more critical and adds the question “if they had known, would they still?” And knowing the answer would be “yes” just makes it all that much more brutally wonderful, Now, go watch these episodes again, keeping in mind everything that transpired from it, and when Dean sobs at losing his little bro for the first time, allow your heart to break more for the big picture.

#my fav episodes #6 #all hell breaks loose #literally #sam and dean

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