#i thought up matt for a campaign we may or may not play last year and deciding to play him in bg3 because i thought it would be funny

[sadmages]

In my mind palace my tav and Astarion are playing the exact same game of 5D chess and they don't realize it yet

[punk-in-docs]

Ok ok ok I cannot stop thinking about the dynamic of Eddie x Pencils when they’re in their new fluffy lovey relationship. Possibly even Eddie being jealous AF cause all his friends just love hanging out with her (maybe a little too much) I just love them together. I can see Eddie being all screechy/shrieky cause he’s not getting one on one time and it’s starting to piss him off! Love those two sm!

🕷 Green is the Colour 🕷

Eddie Munson x Reader

6.6k words

Summary: EDDIE X PENCILS RIDE AGAIN - listen I’ve been thinking about this ask for two days and I thought what if- what if everyone else loves pencils so much and rudely robs Eddie of her time and the fallout of the kids being all steal ya girl- poor Eddie-

“I swear man, I’m about to start plastering her poster on telephone poles and milk cartons. It’s getting pretty freakin’ dire over here.” Eddie speaks as he presides over the squares of the board splayed before him.

Friday night. Doused under the blooming tulip bulbs of the Hellfire club room. Shadows spot the room where the dramatic lights can’t scrape. Swimming sea blue and fiery Sahara amber.

The candles are lit. Jerky flames flicker their licks of light. Stage set. Atmosphere geared up for the adventure and the conflict that may come. The dice are gathered. Board awaits. Poised for another one of Eddie’s imaginative campaigns.

Some would say sadistic- he would say mildly warped at best.

Folks were still strolling in from end of class. Numbers not assembled to full platoon yet.

Gareth, Jeff, Sinclair, and Matt are the first ones to rock up. Still waiting on his other tardy freshmen. They sit at the table. Drink sodas. Scarf down the snacks Gareth bought cause it was his turn. Cheetos, red vines, pretzels, and Reece’s pieces.

Eddie chucks himself back in his throne. Sits with his heels popped on the table edge. They sit and slowly kill time. He listens to them munch chips loudly, bicker over dumb shit, and somehow, the conversation had turned its attentions onto you-

His pencils. His maiden. The Art to his Garfunkel. Only much, much, hotter.

Gareth chucks Eddie a Reece’s cup. He catches it one handed - but there’s no celebratory fist pump. No jerking smile. He doesn’t scoff it down in three seconds like his usual bottomless-pit style when it came to candy.

He’s subdued. Something irks at him. Like a thread he can’t find the end of. He taps the edge of the table.

“So you haven’t seen your girl in a while then huh?” Jeff asks in reply to Eddie’s statement about milk cartons. A sloped smile on, as he snaps open a Pepsi can.

“Nada.” Eddie answered. “It’s really starting to grind my gears.”

You ate lunch at their table some days. Were welcome to, in fact. Sought after. Your absence is noted on the days you don’t, with curiosity and longing.

You caught a ride with Eddie to school. Mixing with them with no hint of awkwardness, and arguing about which was better, Sabbath or Motörhead.

I’m sorry but Motörhead rules in my book. Have you heard Lemmy play? Like c’mon open those ears kiddos. You know Ozzy wanted originally wanted to call ‘Iron Man?’ Metal bloke. C’mon.

As Eddie walked into school with his arm slung around your shoulders. You were still arguing with Jeff about it. He couldn’t get a word in. Once you start arguing about music you cannot be placated.

Alright, alright then can we at least agree that Twisted Sister is better than Bowie, Jeff tried in vain to argue.

You turn to your boyfriend. Clutching your pearls. Choking on the crazy statement.

Edward the children are delusional. What have you been feeding them? LSD?

He cackled all the way to class.

You got in on their jokes. Poked fun with them at the jocks. Correct their English homework when they get spelling mistakes, cause you happened to walk that class last year and got an A+.

Dustin honey, you spelt transcendence wrong. As you rubbed out his mistake with him with the end of your pencil eraser and filled it in. Told him to put his argument in the first paragraph to give it more punch up top. Science he got, lit essays were hard.

Your girlfriend is a freakin genius, man.

You think I don’t know that? C’mon you think I couldn’t pull the brainiest, hottest chick around? Please? I’m beating off chicks with a stick over here. Comes that devil Munson grin.

You patted his chest. Do I need to put a tongue depressor in your mouth? Are you getting hallucinations again?

C’mon pencils that was one time after a bad trip.

You’re slowly growing into familiarity in the social circles Eddie turns in.

Not like you could be apart for long. You two were inseparable and grossly in love. The making out was frankly, sickening, in its duration, frequency, and volume. Like something strummed right out a carpenter song. Heart throbbing teen love. And oh, it’s clutches were fierce.

That was, when he could lay eyes and hands on you. Which hadn’t happened now for four hellish, crawling days. Time is being waded through treacle for him.

It’s making Eddie fucking itch.

“Maybe I should file a police report.” He jokes. But in all seriousness, it’s actually crossed his funky little mind.

“I think I saw her earlier. She was out in the lot helping that Mayfield kid. Putting stickers on her skateboard or something.” Gareth told him.

“Not you too, red.” Eddie sighs muzzily as he crashes his head back to his seat in despair. Arms flailing out. Pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Does everyone in this school get a bigger slice of her than I do? Oh you know. I’m only her boyfriend for fucks sake.” He whines.

“She is pretty cool though.” Matt piped up. “Even by our admittedly limited standards.”

Eddie side shoots him a acid glare that says ‘yeah, no shit.’

“She busy with schoolwork or what?” Sinclair asks.

Eddie flails his hands. A mock attempt at trying to assuage his lovesick heart.

“I guess. I mean she does looovvve to stick her head in the books that one. Or she’s always sketching away. I know she had a history paper at the start of the week she had to stay home and work on but seriously, I’m dying of vicious neglect over here.” He makes a clawed hand over his heart like it’s gonna slowly squeeze to a stop.

“Yeah, it’s like we’ve gone what? Three lunch times now without seeing you guys noisily attached to each other’s faces.” Sinclair the elder, chuckles.

Eddie lobs a Reece’s piece at his head. “Ow. Hey?”

“That was called for. You know it. Pain is a part of life.” Eddie frowns at him.

“You’re just snippy cause you haven’t sucked face in so long.” Sinclair pointed out.

“I wonder if she remembers what I look like.” Eddie dreamt dazed. Staring at the ceiling so wistfully. Always so dramatic.

“It’s Friday night. I’m sure she’ll be free.” Jeff tries to play the kind and hopeful card.

“She better. Or else I’m not joking about that milk carton idea.” He wags an over accessorised finger in warning.

“Yeah, yeah.” Gareth placates as he chews on a red vine.

The bang of the doors has Eddie’s eyes slamming across. Ready to beat seven shades of shit out the tardy pair. Hellfires club rules were absolute: Eddie was known to take his rules seriously. To the death.

Henderson and Wheeler come careening through the doors. Wary of the lateness of the hour. Incurring the Munson wrath.

“Hey, don’t mind us.” Dustin says as they throw themselves into their usual seats and grab their things.

“Sorry we’re late. Got- held up.” Wheeler explained as he rooted elbow deep in his bag.

“Oo red vines. Gimme.” Dustin screeches. Mike snatches for the Cheetos packet.

“It’s ok man. We were just talking about Eddie and how he hasn’t seen pencils in like, forever. It’s driving him nuts.”

Silence. Thick as soup. You could sip it.

Eddie drags his eyes up and catches the way Wheeler flicks his eyes across to Henderson. Who has suddenly clammed right the hell up. Sat there holding a red vine.

Henderson usually trilled on and on like tweetie pie. Something was definitely up. All was not right in whosville. Boy better not bother with poker. Not with a giveaway face like that.

Those whiskey dark Munson eyes never missed a thing. Dagger tips that scratch into his two young opponents.

Henderson knows they’re being scrutinised. The way that crazy mane of Eddie’s flicks where he tilts his head at the two of them.

He braces his arms suddenly on the throne and sits up to crouch on his heels. Dustin and Mike actually flinch.

Their terrifying rabid DM coming level like a metal perching gargoyle. Really, Hellfire wasn’t Hellfire without Eddie scrambling around or climbing on shit.

“Something to say there, gentlemen?” He pressed. Sawtoothed edge to his voice that grates. Cuts skin. He claps his hands together.

“No. No. Nothing man.” Henderson spits out. His knuckles are white on the edge of the table.

At the same time of Wheeler’s “Nothing. Nothing at all.”

They’re prickling with sweat along the hairline. Hands fidgeting with their back pack straps. Plus, the inevitable fact that Eddie’s dark-cold stares are among the most intense things ever known to man. Arctic frostbite skimmed off a razor cold ocean could cut less.

Through narrowed whiskey eyes. “Have a seat.” He bit out each word.

Dustin tried to make small talk as he unzipped his bag. Got his character sheets. Very loudly excited over the prospect of snacks. Loved everything. Everyone looks good tonight. Everyone’s good. Good, man. Cool.

Wheeler just kept his mouth shut. Eddies eyes burned holes in the both of them like bleach.

“Why so late.” Eddie asks punchily. Creeping accusation hangs heavy on his tone.

“Uhhhhh. We-“

“We, why are we uh, late? Mike do you- recall.”

Eddies white knuckles crack together. His teeth will soon be dust.

“We… ran into Mr Clark. He started chatting about- science and, shit. You know, other stuff.” Mike got out.

Eddies bullshit-o-meter was creeping into the red. Hazards flashing. Alarm bells wailing. The rest of the guys at the table are side eyeing each other with drawn back smiles. Biting lips to stem laughter.

“Name the stuff.” He grins. So wide. Too wide. Scary wide. Calling the bluff.

Mike gulps. Dustin’s mouth gaped and no words came out.

“Man-I-think--I-think-we-should-just-tell-him.” Dustin whispers out the side of his mouth. Turning to Wheeler who was crumbling under the famous Munson poison stroked gaze.

“I feel like a rat.” Wheeler explains.

“Funny. Cause In about five seconds I’m gonna feed you to an entire army of rabid rats unless you spill, and tell me what the shit is going on.”

“We, have an advanced calculus test on Monday.” Dustin piped up.

“And?” Eddie urged snappy.

“And, uh, we needed some help and luckily, you know this really awesome someone, very selflessly offered us some assistance in furthering our education. Which is really nice of them, when-when you think about it” Dustin yammered.

Eddie nodded. Sucking in a deep breath. Eyes darting back and forth on them.

“This someone-“ He started.

“Man I told you he’d be wicked pissed.” Wheeler snuck out the side of his mouth at Henderson.

“Shut-the-hell-up. It was your idea.” Dustin hissed between clenched teeth.

“Describe them to me.” Eddie waved his hand in a curling motion.

“Who?”

“This selfless being who helped you. Describe them.” Eddie’s eyes threaded with steel.

“What?”

“You heard me.”

They blink owlishly at him. Mouths slack like guppy fish.

“Medium height. Hair. Uh, Eyes.”

“Do they also have feet and teeth, cause that’s not narrowing down any of the general populous for me.” He bitches at them.

“Studies art. Likes all kinds of cool music. Works in the record store. Loves Billy Idol. Bout yay big-“ Wheeler explains. Holding his hand up to roughly your height.

“You probably… know who we’re talking about… now.” Dustin summed up with a closed fist nervously waving in the air. Smoothing his clammy hands down to the table top.

Eddie slumps back to his chair. Rubs his fingers into his temples. A storm of pins starting to thunder at the roof of his skull. Like top pitch Slayer shredding screams in his ears. It’s deafening. Pins and needles plucking in his brain.

“Let me get this straight-“ He announced with the usual Dungeon Master fanfare from his ornate throne. Voice booming in the quiet of the echoing room.

He crosses his arms. Rattle of his chain bracelet. Clack of those rings as he swirls a finger in the air trying to pluck at the right words.

“I couldn’t lay eyes on my own girlfriend for the entirety of my week. I don’t see her at lunch. Or after school. Not a peep. I look everywhere for her today. And I mean everywhere man, and now you’re sitting there, telling me, she was helping you pipsqueaks, finish your calculus paper?”

He leans forwards and stabs his finger into the tabletop. The whole thing quakes. Storm Munson hitting hard. Expect casualties.

Wheeler looks at his shoes. Dustin nods nervously.

“That’s hmm, about uh right. Yeah-“

“You are skating thin thin ice my friends.” Eddie warns.

“Whilst we’re on the subject, I suppose I should mention, I uh, did invite her over to watch band practice tomorrow night. She said she’d bring cookies.” Gareth revealed.

“Awhh neat score man. What kind?” Matt asks.

“White chocolate and raspberry.” He grinned.

“Oh my god.” Jeff giggles in glee. Fist pumping.

Eddies fit to tear his hair out.

Wondering how long he would have to spend in prison for the completely spontaneous and cold-blooded murder of his entire DnD club.

He wonders if he could make it worth it. Or to the border-

“I can’t believe I have to share my girlfriend with all of Hawkins and now I have to try and compete with you morons? Unbelievable.” He mumbled to himself.

“Are we gonna start this campaign or what?” Gareth asks. “As you say, we don’t come here to chit-chat. We’re here to play.” He pushes his hand on the table before him in emphasis.

“You’re lucky I don’t banish you.” Eddie snaps. Eyes crazed.

“Banish me? Wait. Like in real life. Or the game?”

Eddie stares at him for a second too long. Raps knuckles on the table.

“Haven’t decided yet.”

Gareth shrinks in his seat.

“C’mon man take it easy. Nothing wrong with everyone liking her. Surely that’s a compliment right?” Jeff tries to argue.

“Oh yeah. I’m feeling the benefits right here. Hey, if I need any help scheduling a date with my girlfriend anytime soon I’ll just ask one of you bozo’s. She free tonight, how about next Thursday?” He jokes around. All jocular and pissy.

“Nah man, she said she was going home tonight to-“ Dustin began but tapered off when Eddie shot his famous ‘really’ look. Deadly.

“…study for chem lab.” He finished slowly. “But she said to say she’d call you…. After… Hellfire.”

Eddies committing war crimes in his head. Truly.

“I detest you all so much. Let’s start please, before I-“ He clenches his hands and cracks his knuckles. Takes a deep breath.

“So, we start in the wild plains of-“ Eddie explains. Voice slipping into hushed storytelling mode.

“Hey, does she play DND?” Gareth interrupts, with something that definitely looks similar to flirtatious. Big big smirk.

Eddie glares. It’s steeped in all kinds of poison.

He reaches across and flicks over Gareth’s figurine. It clatters to the floor.

“Oops. Look at that. Bad storm.“

~

The sun dips low over the low slanted street of houses as you walk up the smooth tarmac of Gareth’s drive towards the Garage. The Fall night pricks unkind at your back and churns your breath silver.

Through the trees on the horizon the sky is stroked into layered slices of punchy lilac and petal pink. Black trees loom thick from the woods like prickly pine sentinels.

You’re lugging a tugging heavy bag crooked on one arm, and a whole plate of cookies in the other. Rocky road and raspberry and white chocolate. Teenage boys ate like a ravenous pack of wolves half starved.

You smile as you come to the muffled metal wall of sound thrashing it’s rhythm the other side of that garage. The crash of drums. The bass. The cry of that warlock you recognise so well.

Hands not free, you rap awkwardly on the clanging door with your elbow. You ick when your banging disturbs some rain drips that scatter off the overhang and drips chilly down your collar.

You gaze up as an eruption happens the other side of that door. You smile at hearing the music come crashing resoundingly to a clunky screech and stop. The pitchy whine of the amps and microphones.

Voices blare over the din. You hear the rush of footsteps. Sneakers scraping over the tarmac. You know exactly whose-

The garage door clunks up so fast with a fierce rattle. Rolling from the other side. Showing you in slow degrees, the red drum set. The mic stands. Rust square of carpet. The corroded coffin sign emblazoned proud on the wall.

Cords snaked everywhere. Boxy amps and all those metal posters Gareth tacked around the place. Half of them were from you. You bought him two more today from work that Sal let you snag.

You hear Eddie’s shrieky shouts rattle at the door. “Back off. Hey, hey hey hey, back off. My girlfriend, man. Mine.”

“Hey guys- uhfff“

A gut punch of a sudden attack crashes into you because your boyfriend ducks under the partially open door, and full body tackles you. Like the scurrying menace of a jangly golden retriever that he is. Beloved guitar slung right around his back. He toddles you backwards down the wet driveway.

You hold your arms out either side with the cookies in one, and your bag in the other as he limpets like lichen. He bends his knees and scoops you up off the floor. For a skinny guy he was freakishly strong when he had to be. Your sneaker toes scuff and drag the rain sheened tarmac.

Wiry leather arms enclosing you. But they’re strong too, clutching you to a firm warm chest draped in a black Zeppelin tee. His mouth at your neck. Apple smelling hair tangled in your mouth. Elbow hooked around your head.

You hum a smile. Cause it’s just entirely wrapping you up. Leather and bar soap. Red smoke smacking into you. Eddie. He’s burying you alive in one of his all encompassing hugs that you just burrow yourself into. Warm t shirt body surrounded by the outer colder layers of denim and leather.

You knock your head to rest into his. Whole body fluttering with the giddiness of being near again.

Eddies hooked his arm around your neck like he’s keeping you there, hostage.

Sweat damp bangs and burning off so much manic energy, and a smile splitting his lips. Waterfall spill of curls cupping that face. Making a frame out of those intense espresso dark eyes.

“Missed you.” He rumbles as he rubs his cheek on your hair. Delighting in the smell of you in his nose. Coconut and perfume. You, soft and real under his hands and you’re here- listening to the slow dub-dub of his heart as he holds you closer than was physically possible. If you were any closer you’d be on the other side of him.

“Never would have guessed-“ You smart at him. But you can’t crow too loud. Your stomach is cartwheeling. This boy has you so soft. It had been an interminably miserable week without him. Like being sat in the darkness for a week without your spots of golden sun.

“Missed you too, Munson.” You peck a kiss back on the side of his head. “You gonna put me down anytime soon?”

“Unlikely.” Is his answer. If anything he wraps around you tighter. Squeezes the stuffing out of you like a crushing boa. Like he could crush you up and snort you. Swallow you. Anything- still wouldn’t be close enough.

He does put you down. Mainly so he can cup your face and shove his lips onto yours. Warm hands on your cheeks tugging you to a messy kiss. He presses every ounce of yearning into it. Pours it into you via those pillowy lips.

“Gotta stop that annoying school habit. Y’know. It’s really getting in the way of my quality one-on-one pencils time.” He says with the tip of his nose brushing into yours. Stroking your hair back off your neck.

“Fine. It goes. Tomorrow.” You smirk back.

Tipping in so he can kiss you again. You smooch him all slow. He leans into it. Humming a moan that sends a reactive zing up your spine. You want to grab at his denim back and kiss him some more but your hands are annoyingly full. He sucks on your lower lip and scraped teeth, your breath skips.

“Please for the love of god, keep it PG.” Gareth calls out. Sat at his drums still. Twirling his sticks in hand as the band stands and watches Eddie kiss and kiss, and twirl you around in the cold stained twilight air. How it brushed you both in cloaking purple.

“We don’t need to see that.” Matt piped up. Looking down at his guitar.

“Man, you ruin all my fun.” Eddie grins back at his friends. Slinging his accessorised fingers into your belt loops. Reeling you inside.

“Can you take these before my arms freakin fall off?” You laugh to Eddie.

“For me? Shucks.” He takes the cookie plate off you. Of course he does.

“Don’t scarf them all down to yourself like last time.” Matt pleads.

“Or lick them all.” Jeff adds.

Eddie is already tearing the saran wrap off and shoving a rocky road cookie right into his mouth. The whole thing. Opens his mouth as he chews making his signature demon face. Charming.

Covering his shirt in a waterfall of dark chocolate crumbs. You kindly brush them off him as you step past.

“Sounded good guys. Another Judas Priest cover?” You ask as you come inside and dump your bag down by the ratty old couch off to the far side.

“We’ve almost got enough new covers for a set“

“Next gig at the hideout is in two weeks, right?” You asked. You recall Eddie telling you over the phone.

“Yup. And we wanna have a couple of new songs rehearsed by then.” Jeff says. Nervously trailing his hands over his guitar strap. Shuffling his feet on the squashy carpet.

“Nice one.” You comment. “Can’t go wrong with Judas Priest. Though you know in my opinion you should totally throw a little Blondie in there. Crowd pleaser.”

They all groan in unison.

“You always say that. Or Talking Heads. You’re unnaturally obsessed.”

“Debbie Harry is such a babe though, man.” Gareth sticks his tongue out.

“Really?” You ask as you stand and chew a cookie. “This coming from the boy who has the Kim Wilde poster up in his bedroom.”

“That’s not mine. It was my sisters.”

“Crawled it’s way into your room did it?” Eddie winked at you. Beaming. Leaning against the couch arm.

“I hate you guys.” Gareth decided.

You round back and confiscate the cookie plate off Eddie and hand them round. He snatches off what he can before they’re ripped away. Noisily sucking chocolate off his fingers.

The guys cluster around to get one. About time they stopped for a break and a snack anyhow. He’s all set to pout at you until:

“I also have a Six pack in my bag.”

Eddie’s smile whips back around tenfold. “God, you’re a babe.” He sticks his lips to your temple with a disgusting wet smooch. All lips and spit.

“Awh c’mon.” Gareth opened his arms wide. Disappointed at the lack of the beer being shared around.

“It’s band practice not a kegger.” You pointed out. “Besides I brought Pepsi and spent half an hour of my day making cookies for you guys. I’m not totally evil.”

That was met with a chorus of disgruntled mumbles and grunts.

“Evil pencils.” Eddie whirled in close and hissed naughtily in your ear. His breath on your neck made goosebumps break across your skin.

“I’m sorry. When did you all turn 21? I must have missed the party invites.” You smile at them with your arms crossed. Stroking your hand over Eddie’s arm, as you made sure they all got a cookie.

He made a ‘suck it’ face to his band mates as he cracked open a cold one.

“You’re 18 and Eddie’s 20.” Matt unhelpfully pointed out with a grin.

“Watch your mouth when you talk to your elders.” Eddie pasted his chest to your back as you handed the plate around. A ring clad hand flashes for another one. White chocolate and raspberry was his weakness after all.

“You can’t have all the cookies and a beer. Not fair man.”

“Pencils baked the cookies. Guys. Pencils is my girl. Which means that the cookies are mine too. SO, you only partake if I decide to let you, idiots.”

“So, if she’s hanging out here with us in band time, does that make her our groupie?” Gareth asks cleverly. Waving the cookie in his hand around, gesticulating.

Eddies hand reaches over and lightly flicks the curly hair near where the top of Gareth’s ear should be.

“Hey.” He winced and cupped the side of his head.

“Any more groupie talk and one of those drumsticks is going up your nose, man.” Eddie warns. Gareth did love sticking his neck out

“I’ve got two posters in my bag drummer boy, don’t make me take them back to Sal.” You threaten with a grin. Eddie is making devil eyes at him.

“What’s the score?” Eddie asked you. Hands linked around your waist. Just enjoying the way he could sway bodily into you. Chin nesting on your shoulder. Cold beer within reach. And his guitar. His perfect Saturday night was set. His two favourite chicks.

“Scorpions live tour 85’ and, a Sabbath poster from the 1980 tour Live at Last.”

“Comment rescinded, Mi’lady.” Gareth decides as you chucked him over the shiny rolls of paper.

“I’m keeping you geeks in posters and new tapes here. You should build a monument to me. Fifty feet tall.” You joke as you grab a beer.

You toss the nearly empty cookie plate down on the coffee table and fold your legs up to sit criss-cross on the old orange couch with its sagging cushions and patchwork blanket thrown over the zig-zag floral pattern.

Eddie tips his head back to look across at you. Slumps down the arm to crash next to you. “We will dance around it naked, light a fire, and beat our chests whilst howling at the moon.” He smirks with mischief skated eyes.

You crash your sloshing beer can to his. “There’s the devotion I so crave.” You admire him being close by - at last - brushing the salty sticky bangs off his head with your fingertips.

“The very least I could do. You keep these bozos happy. You keep me in beer and kisses and…” He lowers his voice and sneaks his head closer to your ear to whisper “other much dirtier things.”

You smile. Letting your head fall back to the couch cushions. Eddie’s full out and out beam catching yours. Laying his head down to this saggy couch. Slotted right next to yours.

Heaven really as a place on earth. He’s sat here gazing into your eyes like they’re a new fascinating form of glittery stars.

“It’s been a long week without you, Munson.” You tell him with a note of gladness taking up your whole throat. It was a relentless flurry heartache, of school, work, homework heaps and heaps. Too much. You feel stretched thin and brittle as burnt twine.

“Those little puffy baggies under your eyes are a dead giveaway, pencils.” He thumbs below your eyes, squishing down softly at the bags that seem darker and more black-purple than usual.

“Insane workload this week. Rudely kept me from seeing my favourite metal head.” You said with sulk.

“I can remedy that.” He twists to set his beer down on the floor. Returns with hands free to tuck you close. Hand slipping around the back of your waist. Splaying you to his chest. Plucking a deep inhaling kiss into the nest of your sweetly tropical scented hair.

“M’here now. You’re here. The world is set right again.” He comforts.

You smile and welcome the touch. Hand on his soft stomach. Grounding yourself in the barely soft pudge of his tummy through his shirt. Sat hip-to-hip at last with your menace of a metal head. Breathing in worn leather and smoky reds and it’s like he’s your jagged little rock n’ roll touchstone for normality. You can sink into relaxation now he’s here by your side.

“Apparantly you were really mean to whole of Hellfire yesterday.” You asked with humour traced on your mouth.

“That’s subjective. I can be a fair DM.”

“Mhmm? Apparently you banished Gareth.”

“He was being annoying.”

“You made him cry.”

“Who told you that?” He fidgeted. That meant it was true.

“My little birds and spies.” You mocked in a witches cackle.

“That’s concerning.” He commented.

“Lucas chatted to Red about it. She tells me all the goings on.” You inform him.

“Dammit, red.” He cursed with a silly grin.

“Why were you being mean?” You coaxed out like he was a toddler throwing a tantrum over someone touching his favourite hot red fire truck.

He slung his eyes up to yours. All dewy lashes and bambi. “Because-“ he starts with stroppy inflection. His arm unconsciously squeezed you in closer.

“They’re stealing you off me. If I can’t find you, you’re in the library helping Henderson and Wheeler with their homework. I come to see you at work and you’ve got this gaggle of meddlesome kids I have to bat away to get a look in. I find you at lunch and you’re monopolised drawing npc’s for Hellfire club or band posters for our next gig.”

You can’t help smiling. Oh, Eddie.

“Here, I didn’t even ask you here tonight. Gareth did. You brought cookies for them all and posters for the little shithead. You ask Jeff about his mom and his brothers broken friggin leg, and Matt’s asthma.”

“Is his brothers leg any better?” You check.

Eddie grits his teeth.

“He broke it at the football try outs. He so wanted to make the team. It was very traumatic.” You added openly.

“I just wasn’t counting on having to share you around with the entirety of Hawkins High.” He shakes his head. His hair goes all flicky. Something sad skates across his eyes.

You parse his sullen words through a filter:

One day you might chose them over me. And I wouldn’t blame you if you did.

“Munson?” You say seriously. He sulks but catches your gaze. “What?”

You answer by cupping his chin and lean in to smooch him real slow. The way he likes. He can’t stand half ass cold little pecks on the cheek. What have we been married for forty years- fuckin C’mere I’ll show you a kiss, pencils. Propriety be damned.

Eddies way was always to devour whole. All or nothing.

You hold onto his face even when you pull back. Lips all kiss stung. His eyes are all yummy and dark chocolate heavy. He’s dazed already.

“I don’t mind the babysitting. They’re cool kids. They adore the absolute shit out of you, and I’m glad they don’t despise me. And this goes without saying but I only have one rockstar in my life. That’s always gonna be you, baby. Period.” You tell him. Rubbing your thumb across his jaw.

“Yeah?” He asks all dopey. Puppy grin on his big silly mouth.

“Fuck yeah.” You grin. Eddie kisses you so hard it tips you sideways.

You laugh and it’s mumbled and crushed onto his lips. His sneakered foot flails out and catches his beer. Whips it over. Hoppy bud lite spilling everywhere.

His band mates clamour over the new sight of you both slanted horizontal on the couch. Eddie piling on top of you and some definitely sloppy making out happening.

“Heyyy-“ they all shout. “No dear god, please stop.” Like you’re a couple of dogs they’re trying to stop from humping.

“No no. We don’t have time for you guys to be horizontal right now. We have band practice!”

Eddie ignores them. Selective Munson hearing.

“Come over after this?” He asks with a low tone that you definitely catch onto the very sultry meaning of.

“Unchaperoned? Brazen. I’ll be ruined.” You tease.

“I’ll make the ruination very worth your while.” He picks the back of your hand up and kisses it all soppy and daft.

“Don’t you always.” You smile. Biting your lip. He’s simping hard when he nuzzles into your neck and lays out his arguments. Giving you those huge sad baby cow eyes.

“I’ve got a list of reasons you should accompany me home.”

“What are they, pretty boy?” You ask. Tucking hair behind his ear before it sticks to his lips.

“Number one, You just called me pretty…” He held up as his hand as he ticked off his reasons.

“Number two, you’ve got a really nice butt. Really. It’s like, super cute.”

“Thank you. Number three?”

“Wayne’s missed you. Asking me every damn day when I’m bringing you over again and you know I don’t like to disappoint.”

“Of course.”

“Number four, there is a spider in my room that looks like it might eat me. And I need a witness in case it tries something.”

“I’ll have to consider that.” You negotiated. But truth be told you made your mind up hours ago.

“I might consider it. Even if only for the express reason of spider protection. Not for any other reason whatsoever.”

He nods solemnly. “Mhmm yeah. I’m just trying to be safety monitor you know? Safety in numbers.” He says as he slides his hand up your sweater. Brushing over your stomach. You hold his hand over you.

“I like your thinking.” You tell him. He seals a lush kiss at your lips. Playing around with you.

Eddie parts from you with a sticky smooch. Licking lips. Your fingers tunnelled into the back of his hair. Lost in the sea of wild curly black. “Later, rockstar.” You bite your lip.

He blushed so much at your praise. That’s one other gorgeous thing. The amount of compliments you can pour into this boys ear in whispered praise or dirty filth: he lights up with the giddiness of it every time. Bulb bright. Megawatt.

He scrambled up and off you. “Alright, alright you little shrimps-“ He hissed moans and groans where he hauled himself up, and away, after smacking a wet kiss to your cheek that lingered.

“Where were we huh?” He crowds in and peers at the scribble of their set list. Leaning over to take a look.

You mop up the spilt beer with the too big sleeves of your sweater. Dabbing the floor. Gareth’s mom wouldn’t care for the garage being left smelling like a frat house.

You put the can back into the table. Laughing to yourself as they start to bicker over what song should be next.

Jeff sidles over to you all nervous as you’re knelt on the cold floor. “Can I beg a favour?”

He gets a pretty mangled tape out of his pocket. “Player in the car chewed it up on the way over. I know you have the touch.”

“Indeed I do.” You wipe your beer hands over your jeans and shimmy your fingers and take it off him with a curling grin. Slipping a Bobby pin out your front jeans pocket. “Leave it with me kid.”

You look down at the Corey Hart tape. Hook a brow. “Sunglasses at night, Jeff?”

“It’s my moms.” He offers all jittery. Hands sliding into his pockets. You nod. Carefully handling the shiny tape that needed rewinding.

“That’s what I say to Eddie about the Bryan Ferry and ABC I have shoved under my car seat and if you dare tell him- I will kill you ten different ways.” You grin with narrowed eyes. “Everyone’s allowed a guilty pleasure.”

“Secrets safe with me. You’re awesome.” He lisped bashfully, before joining the rest of his band. Who were now breaking out into a full blown argument now. The air fragrant with it. Thick shouts and interjections layered over each other. Everyone rising over each other to be the loudest.

Eddie is, of course, winning. Shaking his mad head and snatching the red sharpie and scrubbing over Gareth’s writing and almost running the pen over his fingertip on the page.

Stuffing another cookie in his mouth. They’re clamouring louder and louder. He’s spitting crumbs everywhere and now it’s turning into “Ew, gross dude.”

You shake your head and settle on the couch cross legged, sipping back cold beer occasionally, and patiently put Jeff’s poor mangled tape back to rights.

“You’re coming right?” Floats over to you. You break your concentration and look up. Gareth is talking to you.

“To what? You ask. Feeling behind and dumb.

“Our gig at the Hideout. It’s totally your thing.” Gareth flirts.

“Mmm audience of six drunks. I promise to be there and to misbehave.” You say methodically as you focus back on the cassette.

Eddies giving his best Billy Idol attitude glare at Gareth’s head. “Did you just invite my girlfriend to our gig?”

“What? She’d totally be into it.” He defends.

“Nothing wrong with getting some babes in the audience, right?” You shrugged, looking over at Eddie with a snappy wink.

“Exactly.” Gareth answers. A touch too flirty.

Eddie inhaled deep in rage as he snatched his own drumstick off him. “This is going up your nose, now.” He snapped.

Gareth wound around the drum set and Eddie gave chase. You watched them loop the damn thing ten times whilst Eddie shrieked at him and aimed random things at his stupid curly head. Half a cookie. An Iron Maiden cassette tape. Empty Pepsi can.

Symbols clash where they sprint past. Dodging cords underfoot. “Interfering son of a- MY girlfriend. You hear me, MINE, you lil shit.”

You stayed in your corner. Saturday night now apparently in full swing. Shaking your head as you smiled. Boys.

~

The crickets are creaking and the stars were vivid, winking so bright, when you and Eddie step out the garage door, and into the relentless night air. Thick and cool. So smooth you could sip it like a dirty martini.

It pricks bumps up your arms as he slings his metal clad fingers through yours, and lopes along with you. Band stuff corralled messily into the back of his beaten old van.

He stops when he scans the street. Shoes scuffing the sheet of tarmac.

“Huh.”

He flicks his eyes around. You lurch ahead of him. His hand still stuck wrapped in yours.

“Something up?” You ask.

There’s a glint of promiscuity in your eyes. It’s a menacing conspiratorial look. One that you’ve studied and poached off him, no doubt.

“Lack of a certain Capri sat on the curb out here, pencils.” He looks around. Making sure his eyes don’t deceive him.

You grin. “Yeah huh. How strange.”

He comes level to you. Twirls you into his chest. Arms linked around your middle. Those pillowy lips grazing the top of your jaw. Clever Pencils.

“Guess l’ll have to stay over now.” You accept. One hand over his. The other holding your overnight bag you’d assembled hours before.

“Seems that way.” He flirts all grinning, as he waddles you down the drive. Inside he’s fist pumping and yowling at the top of his lungs.

He pitched for you again. Leaning down and shouldering into you. Biting his lip all cheeky as he growls out a sound as he flips you over his shoulder. Carrying you with your legs dangling down at his back.

“I win. Pencils. I win. Suck it kiddos. How you like me now.” He says as he clumsily runs with you down the drive.

“Eddie!” You shrill. He slaps your ass. Makes an Mmmm sound as he does.

“I got your juicy ass now baby. I ain’t sharing anymore.”

Your laughs and shrieks and his cackles echoing in his ears all the way.

~

May I also just say the feedback from this series is a fever dream cause you’re all SUCH BABES and you’re so nice leaving such lovely comments and interacting. I’m truly so grateful-as ever my thanks must be given to @wayward-rose for listening to me chat all things about Eddie a lot. Luv ya babes.

My taglist for the JQ babes; @ceriseheaven @indouloureux @fujiihime @youaremyfamiliar @captain-tch @ghosttownwherenoonegoes @svenyves @sammararaven @feralgoblinbabe @groupie-love-71 @andromeda-andromeda @starbxcks @morganamoonstone @ramona-thorns @gvtosbith @munsonswhore86 @munsonlov3r @lunatictardis @shenevertricks1831 @hazzaismyreligion @harrys-tittie @anaisweird @cerinthussulpicia @cinnamoncunt @thincrusttheworks @manicpixiedreamcurl @therosietoesy @fanficappreciationblog @thicksexxualtension @tvserie-s-world @sharp-and-swift @dadsbongos @2clones-1kamino @edsforehead @chcolateeyelver @seven-glass-kids @forever-is-not-for-everyone @creme-bruhlee @bkish @wayward-rose @wyverntatty @latenighttalkingwithgrapejuice @churchmuffins @chickpeadumpsterfire @choke-me-levi @prozacandnicotine @xeddiesbattattsx @s-u-t @alyssaaaaa-r

[100hearteyes]

I loved this last episode of CR, but also have a couple of gripes with it and the overall arc. I can't overstate how epic the episode was and how much I love a BIG LOT of what's been done so far in C3, but I also need to rant about two or three things that have been bothering me lol

(ignore if you don't wanna read mild criticism)

First, Ludinus's plan with Vax relied on too many variables and probably's. Orym or no Orym, he assumed Keyleth would intervene in-person for sure at the end, therefore luring Vax out, which... Yeah, very very likely, but should you really hinge a huge master plan a thousand years in the making on 'very likely'? I wouldn't fuck with that many odds tbh.

Secondly, and this is an issue I've had with this campaign at large since the Ruidus plot really kicked off, I think the fact that Bells Hells were always clearly in over their heads in this was a bit of a turn off for me, or at least took me out of it a bit, because the whole thing felt too big, too soon for the campaign. Like, how do you follow this up? How do you justify another nearly two thirds or over a half of campaign? Because yeah, if C1 and C2 are anything to go by, we haven't even hit the halfway mark for Bells Hells. How do you keep the stakes high enough for people to care when you've had this monumental arc so soon when the characters aren't even level 10 and are so clearly out of their depth? This feels like endgame, but we aren't even halfway through. Mind you, I love this arc (despite the incessant lore dumps, some of which quite boring tbh) and thought 51 was epic. Legit cried when Vax showed up and then got my heart broken. Also wanted a lot more Beau and Caleb, though, and those rolls by Liam and Marisha taking them out so soon felt really unsatisfying tbh, even if they helped flesh out just how strong these villains are. I think that's part of the problem - Lvl20 Keyleth and Vax plus Lvl~18 (?) Caleb and Beau were no match for them, how could the Hells even make a difference besides delay the inevitable? So yeah, I think that's my main gripe: the disproportionate threat level, which also made it glaringly obvious from the beginning that there was no winning there - not completely. Not to mention that it somewhat strips players of their agency imo. Of course there were some bad rolls and bad decisions. The Imogen/Liliana persuasion check, Ashley - who is my favorite player and must be protected at all costs, mind you - was pretty much useless (it seems she thought they had more time, otherwise definitely wouldn't have skipped turn after turn after turn, especially considering Fearne had the potential to do great damage to the bad guys' plan - BIG roleplaying moment from Ashley by not going for the beacon, though. That was SO tempting, but she managed to stay true and not metagame), the Beau and Caleb rolls (Beau's above all, since she had advantage), Orym failing to destroy the backpack when he was THAT CLOSE, Marisha forgetting to check the scry ball sooner early on, their bad rolls which delayed the destruction of the power cores in the chambers (could have got to more of them had they done it faster), FCG breaking Ryn (a mix of bad roll and bad decision), Chetney spending all that time on a vain climb, etc. Like, again, yes, a lot of things could have gone differently, but I really think that the final outcome, whatever the iteration, was pretty much out of the players' hands.

Thirdly, and I promise this is the last one, although I loved loved loved loved loved to see Beau and Caleb and Keyleth and Vax, I think the waters may be starting to murky a bit regarding the utilization of former PCs. Marisha hasn't rolled once for Keyleth (as far as we know) but rolled for Beau, even though Matt plays both. So Iike, what's the rule here? Why do Marisha and Liam's rolls only decide some characters' fates? Is it fair to hinge Beau and Caleb's success on the players' roles even though you're the one playing them now? Like, you could see the added tension to Liam and especially Marisha, knowing they each had not one but TWO characters' lives on their hands and couldn't even make decisions for one of them. I don't know that the added pressure is very fair to the players. And, again, why do it for Beau and Caleb and not every other character they've played that shows up? And is it fair to do it for one set of characters and not the other? We go back to the main question: what is the rule?

Anyway I guess I just needed to verbalize my thoughts about the few things I didn't like 😆

That said, I CAN'T WAIT to see what happens next and I really hope Fearne still gets to meet Beau eventually. My girl Ashley deserves it.

[captainsspnanon]

Campaign 3: Bells Hells - Year Review

Can’t believe it’s been a year with this gang already!

Campaign thoughts overall:

I’m having a blast!  The Mighty Nein is still my favorite, but Bells Hells is second on the list for me with Vox Machina third.

While I think some of them have been a bit overblown, I do think some of the pacing criticism is valid.  The first 30ish episodes of the campaign just felt a bit weirdly paced out, both too slow and at times too fast as well.  While it feels like we’re in a much more solid pacing, it also feels breakneck.  I still wonder if the crew is expecting to have a ‘shorter’ campaign, or if Matt’s just got big things planned.  With the Hells getting an airship for a year as of the last episode, it also feels a little bit like there’s a time limit on the campaign.  Sure, M9 was just under a year, but VM was significantly longer, just because there were more timeskips.  With that one year leasing limit, so to speak, it makes me wonder if the days of longer timeskips are gone for good.  (Of course, the one year limit is arbitrary and I’m sure the Hells will somehow lose access to the airship within the span of a few weeks, but it’s just a Vibe.)

I do not agree with any of the claims that C3 feels ‘overproduced’ or ‘more likely to be scripted’ than any of the rest.  They’ve got a better set, sure, better cameras and sound, yes, but they’re still goofballs who will talk over one another and improv with the best of them.  I may not always feel like a lighting change is necessary, but it’s much less obtrusive than it was as the start, and I get very excited when we see new backgrounds.  I desperately hope that there’s a snowy background, or a heavy rain/thunderstorm background!

PC thoughts:

No section here for Matt because all the NPCs are great and are consistently great.  They all are still in solid NPC status, no one has yet reached a Gilmore/Allura/Essek level of ‘getting involved with the actual campaign’ yet.

In table order: Chetney!  I’m loving every single choice that Travis is making with this character, he’s having a blast playing a smart impulsive chaotic being.  I’m looking forwards to seeing where we go with Chet in the next year, as I do struggle a bit of seeing it as more than just a silly-playing-to-have-fun PC.  There’s nothing wrong with a choice like that, but I’m not expecting it to be that shallow with this type of group and playstyle.  I feel like there’s so much of Chetney still undiscovered, but not necessarily that he’s hiding it, just that it hasn’t come up.  The Hells aren’t really the prying type.

Laudna!  I love her. Once “D” was mentioned the first time, I was a bit hesitant, as Delilah never actually did it for me in C1, so having her back as a probable-antagonist in C3 was not something that I felt would hold up.  Overall for me….well, it still didn’t.  It’s not bad! I’ve actually enjoyed all the interactions with her we’ve gotten, but I don’t have that underlying sense of “OMGTHISISSOBAD” that seems to permeate the table and fanbase.  I don’t really have a sense for what drives Laudna yet, so I am interested (and a bit impatient) to see how she develops in the next year.  Does she have a story separate from Delilah?  What mechanical choices is Marisha making?  How is Laudna even going to be in this week’s episode?! I’m very excited!

FCG.  Talk about a slow warm up.  I’ve always had difficulty connecting to Sam’s PCs, and I think it’s because Sam is a player who goes for the joke first and then builds that joke into the PC.  Flat Exandria is a great example of this.  So when Sam came in with a cheerful overly bright robit for C3, it took time for me to get it.  I know Sam is capable of great twists, so I wasn’t surprised and was even expecting the murderbot twist, I’m STILL expecting the Charlie/Devexian twist (though now I suspect it will be more of a twist if Sam DOESN’T do that), but what really got me with FCG? What really clicked me in?  Is when he started having more emotions than just ‘friendly helper bot’.  When he started to be irritated, sarcastic, angry, uncertain, and his latest exploration into religion?  I’m not saying FCG is my favorite Sam PC because I’ve spent so much time with Nott, but I’m saying FCG has the potential to become my favorite.  I am thrilled to see Sam start digging into the meatier aspect and I suspect that FCG is going to be one of the PCs with the biggest changes by the end of the campaign.

Fearne. I love her, omg.  She has the benefit of being my favorite Ashley PC (mostly because she’s been here the entire time without needing breaks), but I love every single choice she makes, including all the ‘bad’ ones.  Right now, Fearne has been played pretty surface level, with little dips below in regards to her parents and grandparents.  Matt has clearly decided that she’s going to be pulled into the main moon plot somehow, and I’m fascinated to see how Ashley is going to take it.  Will she let it change her?  Will Fearne stay the same as the world changes around her?  WILL ASHLEY AND LIAM GET SOME MORE SOLID RP MOMENTS THAT I AM DESPERATELY CRAVING???  (….look.  We didn’t get anywhere near enough Vax and Pike interaction, despite Liam clearly hoping for it, nor enough Yasha and Caleb interaction despite Liam clearly hoping for it, give me it here please please please!!)  I like that Ashley has decided that she clearly wants to play into the chaotic aspect of the characters and is embracing it for all she’s worth.  In the future, I’m hoping to see how deep the well that is Fearne may go, as I very much doubt that what we see is all that we get.

Imogen.  To my reluctance, I agree with some of the criticism that Imogen seems a bit Main Character TM.  I’m expecting this to balance out, as there’s been good balance in the previous campaigns, but it is occasionally a bit distracting right now.  However!  That doesn’t mean that I haven’t been loving the entirety of it and I’m desperately interested to know what the fuck is up with Ruidus and the forgotten gods and how this is impacting Imogen and what her mother has to do with it and and and and!  I’d say out of all of the PCs, I feel like we know Imogen the best.  She’s been very open with her backstory, and we’ve seen so many different aspects of her on display!  I am suuuuper ready to see more of her ruthlessness, I think the bomb and lighting bolt on the crawler is my favorite Ruthless!Imogen moment so far.  Out of the PCs, Imogen is also the one who has the clearest goal and path forwards.  Learn more about her powers, her mom, etc.  I suspect she’ll continue to be a driving plot force until the Apogee Solstice happens, whether that be at the end of the campaign or only partway through.  Also Laura Bailey is just fucking fantastic.

ORYM.  ORYM ORYM ORYM.  He’s just a dude!  I was not fond of him during EXU, but oh boy do I love him in C3.  I have a personal desire for him to slowly accept that he’s awesome at leadership and start taking a more prevalent role in the team, but I’m well aware that Liam specifically designed him to be less of a point person.  I’m looking forwards to seeing how much Liam will or won’t resist where it seems like the character arc may be taking him and how that will impact Orym’s choices.  Orym is the other PC that I feel we know the most about, at least backstory-wise.  What I’m looking forwards to most is seeing how much MORE we end up getting from him on top of the ‘just a dude with a dead spouse on a mission from my leader’. Also, do I need to talk about Liam’s flair for describing battle mechanics?  I don’t think I need to.

Ashton – the other slow grower for me.  If you’ve following along in all my reactions, you’ll know that I was very hesitant with Ashton at first as he felt a bit Molly2.0 to me.  That lasted, what, three episodes?  And then that was all gone and I was getting to know Ashton as they presented themselves.  Ashton is still a bit of a slow grower for me, though I feel like the past few episodes have really started to solidify my feelings for him.  First of all, really enjoying them. But now I’m also invested in their story and past.  Granted, it took so long because Taliesin is a cagey mofo from whom trying to get information can be like pulling teeth /affectionate.  I was actually fairly disappointed that we left Bassuras with barely anything in regards to Ashton, but we’re getting into it now and I’m getting invested!  TELL ME MORE I NEED TO KNOOOOW.

The setting:

…….probably the weakest part of the campaign, to be honest.  I WANT to learn more about Marquet, I WANT to feel the vastness and the wildness and the differences between it and Wildmount and Tal’Dorei.  But so far, we’ve been pretty limited in what we’ve seen.  Jrusar is definitely interesting, but the downside of a big city is that big cities are big cities and even with their surface differences they end up being big cities.  I found parts of Jrusar fascinating (that underground market??  LOVE IT WANT MORE), but I was excited when we left to see more.  Sadly, it seems like a lot of the travel in this campaign has been abridged.  Our journey through the jungle was quick with a little detour and a battle, but overall a non-descript jungle. The place that the museum was in was interesting, but it was more jumping to places versus really feeling the lay of the land.  The Hellcatch Valley was just flown over which disappoints me to no end because I would LOVE to see them have to travel through it for two or three episodes.  Bassuras had tons of character and I loved it and really hope that a lot of other places have this level of flavor and uniqueness to them!  I want to find more of what makes Marquet MARQUET, if that makes any sense.  It doesn’t need to be all Mad Max and desert (and in fact, shouldn’t be), and I feel like we’ll get that sense if we go from smaller town to smaller town.  With Jrusar being the main hub of sorts, I feel like we’ll be able to start exploring more, especially as we’ve unlocked another mode of travel.  Granted, it means we’ll probably end up skipping over a lot of the travel which makes me sad, but we’ll see how it goes. I’m discovering more and more that I adore exploration and want to see more of that in this campaingn.

The ships.

Time to batten down the hatches, because I’m about to get controversial.

My NOTPs: None!

My OTPs: None!

Ships that I’m actively shipping: None!

Ships that I can see happening and would enjoy based off of current characterization: Fearne/Anyone (seriously, she would pair fantastically well with ANY of the PCs!), Orym/Ashton, FCG/Imahara Joe (look it just fascinates me okay)

Ships that entertain me and I would enjoy for the funsies even if I don’t necessarily vibe with them: Ashton/Laudna, Chetney/Anyone, Ashton/Imogen, Orym/any of the ladies (doesn’t work with the sexualities, but still fun concepts)

Ships that I …. would need a hell of a lot of changes in the campaign order for me to enjoy: Imogen/Laudna, Orym/Dorian.  The latter because I really would need Robbie back full time and I’d need to see more interpersonal play with them.  I know that they were dropping a lot of teases for it, but it never clicked for me.  Okay, so the former.   *sigh* Look, I know this is the big SHIP especially on tumblr, but so much of it just seems to be ‘two women are affectionate OMG LESBIANS THEY’RE LESBIANS AND IN LOVE AND THEY’RE LESBIANS DID WE MENTION THEY’RE LESBIANS’.  There’s also a LOT of ‘Marisha and Laura HAVE to get together this campaign, they didn’t LAST campaign so they HAVE TO this time’.  Honestly?  I can see this ship in the campaign going either way, but I am absolutely dreading the fallout if they don’t get together.  I can only image what the fall out of Beau/Jester not coming to fruition was, and this feels like it could get so much worse.  Now, I’m not saying that I don’t see the possibility for it to happen, I DO, but I’d like to see a lot more interaction between the PCs first.  So much of their background is ‘we’ve been traveling for two years together!’ but it doesn’t always feel like it.  In the oddest sense, I almost feel like a lot of their relationship is still fairly surface level.  I need more depth and interaction, and if this does become a canon ship, I hope we have a good number of episodes more before it happens so that the PCs can develop more, both together and separately.  (also, and I know I’m poking the beehive here, but Laudna has IN GAME repeatedly shown attraction to men [Ira, the minotaur dude], so calling her a lesbian just really feels like denial.  I don’t think I’ve seen anyone suggest that maybe she’s bi? Or pan?  Just LESBIAN.  Shall I even mention that Imogen has also mentioned having a crush on a guy? That one at least was pre-game, so maybe could be considered to be before she finalized her sexuality, but once again, just feels like bi-erasure.  And god forbid either of these characters turns out to be straight, I’m pretty sure tumblr will revolt in it’s entirety, despite the fact that they don’t owe us a queer character or a certain relationship).

[party-with-books]

I posted 1,339 times in 2022

26 posts created (2%)

1,313 posts reblogged (98%)

Blogs I reblogged the most:

@justalittlebluetiefling

@vethbrenatto

@amozon28

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I tagged 132 of my posts in 2022

#critical role - 69 posts

#cr spoilers - 43 posts

#xd - 20 posts

#exandria unlimited - 10 posts

#the legend of vox machina - 10 posts

#critter art - 9 posts

#a bookdragon rambles - 9 posts

#exu spoilers - 9 posts

#exu calamity - 9 posts

#campaign 3 - 7 posts

Longest Tag: 136 characters

#and it's just really nice to see them showing care for something that was arguably one of their most successful movies to come from them

My Top Posts in 2022:

#5

I'm still crying dudes.

Cerrit kept his promise, he made it home to his family.

Even if he and his family doesn't live to see the Calamity's end, in that moment him returning was all I wanted by the curtain closing. And beating a DC 30 by ONE is some form of poetic cinema you can't make up.

39 notes - Posted June 17, 2022

#4

Thoughts spiraling before heading to bed. That was a helluva episode, I'm still in shock and shaking.

I gotta believe--like with the Iron Shepherds--this was a fight they were meant to lose. Not for the same reasons, but same outcome was meant to be met.

Otahan was supposed to be that much more op than Bells Hells. My thought is there's no way they could have all made it out, even if they hightailed it out earlier.

Matt's reasons are his to reveal in due time, like he always does, and the fact he was never stressed or worried at Orym and Ferne dying (see: Mollymauk's death, it was the dice not being in the groups favor and their choice to stay that brought them to Molly dying) makes me believe there's SOMETHING more coming.

Only the cost for them coming back may be in Imogen "giving in".

Leaving off with Matt's tweet cause he really cares and we should be respectful no matter what.

42 notes - Posted September 8, 2022

#3

THAT WITCH IS TRYING TO COME BACK VIA LAUDNA?!?! SHE “LIVES SOMEWHERE IN YOUR SPIRIT”, TAKING THE POWER FROM MAGICAL ARCANE ITEMS TO STRENGTHEN HER SPIRIT TO INHABIT LAUDNA??

no but like IMAGINE DELILAH WANTING TO TAKE OVER LAUDNA AND SEEK REVENGE ON VM, GOING TO WHITESTONE IN THE PHYSICAL MOCKERY OF VEX’AHLIA (NOW DE ROLO), THE VERY BODY THEY ALL SAW HUNG FROM THE SUN TREE WALKING AGAIN.  

43 notes - Posted May 12, 2022

#2

Laura Bailey, queen of double entendres, breaker of DM and PCs

46 notes - Posted September 22, 2022

My #1 post of 2022

‪"Dorian is, for all intents and purposes, a normal bard." ‬

Dorian Storm of Bell's Hells, Brontë Wyvernwind of the Silken Squall, silver tongue and bard extraordinaire... 💙💙

‪(I tried, I failed, but) I wanted to show my thanks for this wonderful character, played by the INCREDIBLE Robbie Daymond!

‪Above is a Spiced Rum Cake with rum soak, topped with Blackberry Frosting, sugar pearls & white chocolate deco.‬

I can't draw/paint/write very well and cosplaying is a thing I'm still improving on, but I CAN bake. So I've had in my head for a while doing a series of character themed cupcakes, and Dorian's departure seemed like the perfect opportunity to start!

Every second having Dorian Storm was a genuine delight, and saying goodbye was so much harder than I thought it'd be. So it felt only right to try showing my appreciation for the last 12 episodes! Thank you Robbie for sharing your wonderful bard with us, and I hope to see him again.

51 notes - Posted February 25, 2022

Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review →

[bigfan-fanfic]

Spooky Season Special: Until Dawn (Male!Reader x Chris)

Prologue: Bystander

-One Year Ago-

Let's just say, you had been shocked when Beth Washington winked at you and slipped a sparkly envelope into your hand. Hannah had gotten overzealous with the glitter glue again, and it was a wild mess that had held your invitation to Blackwood Pines for the annual winter getaway party weekend hosted by the Washington siblings.

Mike and Emily had grinned when you told them, which was gratifying. To tell the truth, you had never felt like anything more than a satellite to the group. They all seemed so tight with each other, and all you really knew were Mike and Em. Mike because he'd been your best friend since you were toddlers, and Em since she was Mike's girlfriend and you both shared multiple advanced courses. Even despite him being athletic and your typical big man on campus, Mike had been at your side for years, even when your interests diverged. You even helped make posters for his class president campaign in your spare time, which he joked made you responsible for his victory.

But still, you never really considered yourself part of that group until Beth handed you the invitation. You had only really hung out with the group on occasion, but you knew what it was really about.

Damn Mike. He had told Beth about your crush on Chris. He or Emily had. And now they were going to play matchmaker. You weren't about to let that happen, but you figured this was your ticket to making more friends and hanging out with Mike more. ...And Chris.

And really, partying with the Washingtons was fun. Who gets to go up to a HUGE lodge in the mountains only accessible by cable car? Even the vaguely sinister sensation of being trapped couldn't undo your feeling that you were now part of an exclusive gang. You ended up on the cable car with Ashley and Sam, who immediately drew you into a conversation (Sam protested playfully when Ashley turned the conversation to a book she was reading about ghosts) and the fun began.

There was the requisite teasing of Sam as she went upstairs to take a luxurious bath in the Washingtons' simply enormous tub in the master bathroom ("Try not to use all the hot water this time, Sam!" from Beth and a "Hardy-har" from Sam as a retort.)

It started out simple enough. Hannah and Matt brought down some board games from a closet and you all began playing. At one point someone suggested Jenga and everyone held their breath as you watched the tower wobble...

Don't Move. .. . .. . .. . .. .... .. ..... ... .. .... .. .. .. .... .. . . . .

...and you finally breathed again when it was certain the tower wouldn't collapse. And then, of course, Josh and Chris arrived on Emily's turn, and she promptly knocked over the wooden blocks. She complained a little, but clearly was happy the group was all together.

Chris and Josh promptly forced open the liquor cabinet and led a toast to old friends, and lifted a glass to you and added "and to new friends!" Beth, ever-responsible, gave a disapproving look at her older brother and passed around cream sodas instead. But really, only you, Sam, and Beth chose to remain sober. Chris and Josh started a drinking game by singing the Pokerap from the Pokemon anime and drinking whenever they got the words wrong, and quickly started devolving into drunken messes. Mike and Emily started making out, and Sam was catching up with Ashley and Matt - Jessica was talking to Hannah.

Beth invited you up to her room to watch Pride and Prejudice on the new TV she had gotten in there, but really, it was just a pretext. You knew it the moment the movie started playing and Beth looked over at you. "So... Chris, huh?"

Secretive - "What about him?" Exasperated - "Ugh, Mike told you?"

Beth grinned apologetically. "Emily, actually. But don't worry, I won't blab. I think it's cute. And hey, I'm here for you."

You smiled a little. It might actually be good to have more friends you can talk to about this. When you told Mike you liked boys, and that you liked Chis, he had teased you about having a hunk of prime beef in front of you - himself - and you chose the nerd anyway. Beth, at least, seemed less likely to ridicule you.

"It doesn't matter, though." you had groaned. "He's got a crush on Ashley."

"So?" Beth asked. "Josh once had a crush on Britney Spears at the same time he discovered Leo DiCaprio. People can have multiple crushes. And I'm pretty sure Chris doesn't just like you because you can beat him at Street Fighter."

"Fine, you may have a point. But I'm not gonna make any moves tonight! Looks like Chris is on a one-way trip to Hangover City."

She smiled wryly. "Ugh. Guess I have to make hangover cures in the morning. If you and Sam are the only other sober ones, wanna help? We can make vegan pancakes just the three of us!"

You grinned. "That actually sounds really fun."

"Great!"

You watched the rest of the movie, and finally decided it was time to check on the others, realizing you hadn't heard much during your little party.

"Guys?" Beth called, a little confused when no one answered. The two of you wandered down, only to find Chris and Josh, slumped over the kitchen island, a few empty bottles of liquor between them. Beth gave a chuckle that became a sigh. You remember this part so much more clearly.

Beth looked out the window, and frowned. "There's someone out there! I thought Mom and Dad said it would be just us this weekend."

"Maybe it's the trees? They're pretty creepy at night." you suggested, not wanting the creepy idea of someone else being on the mountain to take root.

She looked away, unsure, then glanced at the bottles.

"Ugh... Once again, big brother, you've outdone us all." Beth said, her eyes roving over the bottle-covered table. She picked up a piece of paper and read it, wincing. "This is - what has my naïve sister gotten herself into now?"

You take the paper, only really having time to read the words "Hannah" and "Mike xoxo" before someone went running by, sobbing. Beth went charging after them...

Wake Chris Follow Beth

...but you quickly tried shoving Chris to wake him up. But even with you yelling in his ear, he was dead to the world. You ran out after Beth, only to run right into Matt's back.

"You know, Mike, I think you're the last person she wants to see right now." Sam was saying.

"What the hell is going on?" you asked, looking from face to face. Emily disgusted, Sam worried, Mike and Jessica looking uneasy... "Where's Beth? And Hannah?"

"Hannah overreacted to this prank we pulled," Ashley frowned. "And Beth ran after her."

"What do you think, Y/N? Should we go looking for them?" Mike wondered.

Concerned - "Beth said someone else was out there..." Responsible - "We should get help..."

"They say you really shouldn't split up in a snowstorm. Beth's smart. I'm sure she'll bring Hannah back. But just in case, let's call the ranger station?" you said. You remember the group all nodding, more at ease now that there was a plan. Emily went to call, while Mike and Matt tried to wake up Chris and Josh, and you tried to get what happened out of Jessica and Ashley, because Sam refused to talk to any of them.

A horrible prank... and two deaths. For a whole year, the idea that maybe, if you had made some other choice, you could have prevented it, consumed you. Maybe if you had chased after Hannah more quickly you could've stopped her, or maybe at least convinced Beth not to run and to call the ranger station instead... maybe at least one of the twins would still be alive.

Things only got worse after the trip. You thought it might bring you more friends, but the group fractured down the middle. Eventually Em and Mike broke up, making it really awkward to choose between them. Sam had distanced herself from the others, angry at them for the prank, and you hadn't heard from her for months. And Chris... you two had gotten a little closer, but really this tragedy had struck all of you and changed everything.

You hadn't known Josh that well, so it was surprising that he asked you to come back up to the lodge. And although it might be weird, definitely uncomfortable... you find yourself on a bus, headed right back up to Mount Washington.

With no idea of what the night will hold...

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Sept. 29, 2020)

@eponymous-rose‘s internet is out tonight, so I’m here late and without coffee! Let’s see how many typos we can fit into an hour and a half episode.

Tonight’s guests: Ashley Williams JOHNSON, oops!! & Liam O’Brien!

We open with Brian in light-up vented sunglasses and Henry at his side, as always. Dani is very excited to be back and has fun-buns in her hair tonight. So cute! Everyone talks about how much they’re Zooming these days for work, and Liam mentions he and Matt & Marisha did a digital cocktail night. He and Dani arrange on camera to have a distanced, masked meetup in the park so Dani can see Liam’s dog again.

No announcements! Tonight, we’re discussin’ episodes 110 and 111.

Starting with the end, Brian jumps right to it by asking how they feel that Molly is alive. Liam 100% thought we’d be back to him, but still wasn’t ready when it happened. Caleb doubted he was alive. Both Liam & Ashley marvel at the numerology that keeps cropping up throughout the show. Brian hates not being able to see it at the same time the show happens live; Ashley was biting her tongue not telling him spoilers. (He doesn’t want to hear spoilers unless Yasha dies so he can be there for Ashley if needed.) Brian says he has a little reality trauma from the night Pike died in the pre-stream game; it was the first time he’d realized how much it affected the players.

Ashley’s realized how much she misses unpacking the game with Brian when they get home. She just has to sit with it until everyone else gets to see it. Brian: “Instead she comes home and I have to fill her in on the Real Housewives of Amarillo, Texas.”

Reunion dinner with Trent! Liam talks about how the way things unfolded with Trent is not at all how he imagined it in his pre-game creation; he’d expected more of a fracas, more of an unexpected clash. “Caleb might have been a different person if he’d run into these people earlier in the story. The M9 changed him before [Trent & co] came back and got to him.” He’d imagined Astrid & Eodwulf to be complicated encounters, but says what Matt’s designed has been even harder than that. A fight on a mountain is one thing, but walking into a room with “what Trent dropped, is impossible to cope with.” It also means that if what Trent said is true, anything Caleb does now is effectively of Trent’s design, even killing him.

He doesn’t think Caleb would have gone anywhere near Trent & co without the M9. “The Mighty Nein--it took a long time--but they cracked Caleb open like a walnut.”

He thinks what Matt has done is much more murky than the simplicity of murder, such as the Briarwood arc. He can’t just exact his revenge now.

Liam says that the tempation to tinker with time is no longer as all-consuming as it was. He might still be tempted if Matt dangles a bunch of carrots in front of him, but he thinks that now it might be better to make sure that that kind of thing doesn’t happen anymore for anyone else (!!!). “It’s still a nugget in his brain and it’s still possible he could be tempted by the drug, but what he wanted in the beginning was entirely selfish, but now that the M9 are involved he owes it to them, to the people of the country, even on the Dynasty side--is so complex that if Caleb were to get that carrot and chase it, he would be risking everything.”

Ashley agrees that most of their choices are no longer black and white. Many of the situations feel more like real life. Liam agrees and says he’ll sometimes make decisions that he’s both really happy with and regrets at the same time. They both look forward to what Matt will reveal in Act 3.

Brian feels it’s tough to gauge how deep they are into what Matt’s planned for the campaign. Liam says that thanks to Matt’s skill, he really doesn’t know what Caleb wants right now.

Ashley agrees, and talks about how she created Yasha to have more to overcome than Pike. She loves what Matt’s doing in terms of allowing each of them to overcome more emotional hurdles than physical ones in this campaign.

Going back to Molly’s grave was very exciting for Ashley since she wasn’t able to be there when he died in the game & wanted to do what she could to honor him. Yasha, however, was very hesitant but knew what needed to be done. She’s not very open with her emotions, but both she & Ashley were stressed. They all could feel the energy in the studio & knew Matt was about to do something mind-blowing. Liam: “You could feel all the dust in the air coalescing around Taliesin.”

Brian trips over Eodwulf. Liam tries to help him find some pronunciation shortcuts. Ashley: “You say it so beautifully.” Brian: “Thank you.” Ashley: “Not you.”

Caleb knows how wickedly intelligent & ambitious Astrid is, and was heartened by the wavering he saw in her at the dinner. However, he can’t trust her until he knows why she’s where she is.

He really feels that if they’d had this dinner 60 episodes ago, Caleb might have tilted back along the evil axis and he would have had to retire the character. He had a playlist entirely for if Caleb turned evil and left the party.

The vision of Zuala was a huge deal for Yasha, even along every other instance she’s had of being mind-controlled, etc. “That’s guilt I think she will always carry with her, but at least she’s starting to forgive herself.” Losing the chains, sprouting wings again--Ashley reiterates that she didn’t know that was even a possibility, she just picked the skeletal wings because they were dope--were huge moments in the character development. Ashley’s glad Beau was there at the moment of the first flight; Ashley thinks of the quotation “Happiness is only beautiful when it’s shared,” and because Yasha tends to keep things very much to herself, having someone there to share it made it more impactful. “That was a cool moment. There’s been a lot of healing for Yasha these last episodes.”d

Ashley also says sometimes in that moment, when all eyes are on you in a one-on-one with Matt, everything goes muffled like Saving Private Ryan. “Wub wub wub.”

Dani feels that the only way she could even have the conversation with Zuala was to let her go in the first place.

Liam thinks one of the things that Yasha & Cad share is that still waters run deep. He loves how much Yasha hangs back sometimes, only to then reveal some new moment like the fighting pit. Apparently Ashley also has a knife collection, and uses that metal side of herself when she wants to let that new side of Yasha show.

Cosplay of the Week: Crystal Armstead (@riyuski on twitter) in a Reani cosplay. Beautiful!

How does Liam feel about the return to Rexxentrum? Very, very complicated. Caleb loves magic and lights up when he sees it, which is wrapped in the Soltryce Academy; he brought folks to the dance hall for the same reason, which was wanting the M9 to see the things that he loved about the city.

Yasha felt the same way about visiting the Chantry of the Dawn. It was a memory of a very traumatic moment (almost killing Beau), but given everything that’s happened between then and now it was cathartic to see again. There’s been a lot of healing in the past few weeks. It also felt like a physical representation of Yasha’s growth, the last time she was controlled against her will like that (or at least, until she was mind-controlled by Vokodo. Ashley sighs, aggrieved.)

Brian: “The tower really feels like a love letter from Caleb to his friends.” Liam: “It is, and a love letter from Liam to his friends.” When he looked at Caleb’s spell list, he remembered how amazing the mansion was in Campaign One and how many role-playing moments it led to and knew he wanted to incorporate it. However, he knew it could never be the same as Scanlan’s mansion because Caleb doesn’t have the same improvisational genius as Scanlan does. Liam has been “tinkering with this machine” for over a year, waiting for the moment to reveal it. He loves that he got a chance to see Jester’s room in time to have her tower room reflect reality. He’d discussed the tower extensively with Dani & Matt. Brian: “Hey! What am I, chopped--what’s the saying?” Ashley: “Chopped cabbage?”

Ashley marvels at the design of the dome. Liam talks about how Caleb knowing Caleb has been abused has been slowly getting better, but he also loves now being able to juxtapose that healing with his innate love of magic and how beautiful he finds it, how he loves to use magic as his artistry. The Soltryce Academy wasn’t “Welcome to DEATH SCHOOL,” it was the Sorbonne. It was amazing, everything he wanted. It was only one bad apple within that recruited him and turned it all bad.

Liam also points out how much it means in real life to be able to express his love and care for his friends in person too.

Ashley talks about how much she loves Yasha’s armor in a meta sense because it’s so cool and useful, and great for her armor class, but struggles with what it represents in game. She might not be able to let it go due to its sheer utility, and she may have to find an in-game reason to justify keeping it.

Ashley segues a moment into talking about her velvet top which apparently has a matching velvet scrunchie. She’s asked to demonstrate the scrunchie and ties her hair up in a way that I have never in my life seen someone do with a scrunchie before, and my hair’s been waist-length most of my life. I watch it again in slow motion. How did she DO that??

Caleb’s been looking for the right time to tell Jester about his past for a long time. She’s a good person and makes him feel like he might be capable of becoming a good person at the end, because that’s how she saw him. Liam knew from Laura that Jester wouldn’t condemn him, but Caleb put it off as long as possible. He also wanted to take the time to make sure Caduceus & Yasha knew the whole story too before they went to dinner with Trent.

Liam was also relieved to get it out, because he could never remember who knew and who didn’t, and now he doesn’t have to track it anymore. “Now we can move forward. Now we can heal wounds, maybe.”

Ashley feels Cad picks up a lot, more than most people realize. Yasha was really affected by Cad’s line: “Patience can be good, but it can lead to apathy.” She really feels it opened her eyes, and she appreciated the simplicity of him pointing out her hair’s growing back white again. Having a friend notice “hey, you’re changing for the better” really means a lot. She’s interested in seeing how this means things might change with Beau.

Dani points out that it also reinforced for Yasha that she can want things too--she can be patient and just continue to be with the group, as she’s wanted, but it’s okay to want more than that too. Ashley remembers Veth asking her what her purpose is. There’s a part of her that knows Yasha is still figuring that out, and she’s interested to see how Yasha will continue to change. She’s always spent her life serving somebody--the Sky Spear, Obann--and then even after she joined the M9, it was very centered on “what do you need, what does the group need, how can I help with our next job?” She’s going to have to take some time to figure out what she wants.

Fanart of the Week! Lovely Yasha & Beau flight art by @JMNP7888. The wings look amazing!

Brian: “One of the things we want to talk to you about, Liam, is about the Vokodo fight and the FUCKING disintegrate spell.”

Liam: “That was one of the most insane 60-90 seconds of gameplay that ever existed for the table, and definitely for me, in the entire history of the show. A lot of people think I just went, oh man, just bet it all on black. But what if I told you that...I Larkin’d the first 20 seconds of that fight and then at a quarter to midnight, I forgot that the reflection was a thing? I just forgot it was a thing! I spent that whole battle thinking I’m just here to banish things. I might buff my friends a little bit, maybe I’ll counterspell, but I’m just here to banish. And it didn’t work and it didn’t work and then it did! Finally it did and Jester made it work and then he was GONE. And then everyone got greedy and it was done but we brought him BACK. And it was a quarter to midnight and I’m not an animatronic D&D lesson machine, I’m just a guy playing D&D at 11:45 at night, and he came back and everyone started Goodfellas circling him and kicking him, and Beau & Yasha are gonna kill him, and then it’s my turn? Disintegrate! And then the room was quiet, and then time passed, and Matt asked, you really cast Disintegrate? And I said yes, of course, and Matt started rolling dice, and in the back of my head I started wondering why he asked if I was rolling Disintegrate. Oh no. In the back of my brain, I was like, well, just tell him that’s not what you did. Tell him you didn’t remember the reflection thing. But he’s already rolling dice! You can’t take it back now. Hold on a second. I’m going to take you on the journey I went through. I was thinking: you have a spell save of 17. This thing wasn’t that fast. +1, +2, maybe? Anything under 14 is okay. That’s 70%. 70%. That’s okay, right? And still no one said anything to tip me off that I was in ELDRITCH MADNESS at that point, no one said anything about the reflection! And then I realize it can reflect back on us, and I realize this is...disintegrate. And then I started becoming morbidly, macabre-ly fascinated at the puppet dance of death I had created. Well, this is a mess. I have made a mess. Let’s just sit in it. And somehow, nonsensically, spectacularly, it worked out in my favor. I went home that night and I got in bed next to my wife, who was fast asleep, and I stared at the ceiling going, dude. Duuuuuuuude. Duuuuuuuuuude.”

He apparently also told his therapist about this and how terrible it was and how close he “danced myself to the precipice like a crazy person!” Marisha (as told by Liam): “Epic roll, though.”

Matt told Liam that night that if it had been reflected, it would have gone back on him. “If a player throws an M80 in the middle of a room, it would reflect on that player who threw it.”

Ashley talks about how interesting that Yasha is not performative, and yet has been doing these public performances with the harp. It’s a great experiment for Ashley--Yasha doesn’t like the attention, but feels like she is making something beautiful for the world.” She’s trying to change something about how she views herself & her place in the world. She was raised to be a weapon for the Sky Spear, but she’s also extremely gentle and loves flowers & beautiful music, and the further away she’s gotten from the tribe, she’s falling in love with gentle, beautiful things. 

Liam also points out it easy (real, but simplistic) to make an entire character centered around a single personality trait: “I’m angry all the time. I’m sad all the time.” He thinks it’s more realistic to see nuance in personality.

Liam can see some paths for Caleb to find peace & do good. He doesn’t know if Caleb is conscious of those. He thinks it’s a huge step forward to admit he was molded in this direction at all and that it wasn’t all his choice, but doesn’t know if this is the same possibility as redemption.

He also mentions Essek in this answer: there was/is attraction there, both intellectual and physical--the forehead kiss was a big marker of that--and he’s interested in seeing where that goes because he’s invested in Essek’s redemption arc on its own, but Essek is not as high on the list as other things Caleb/the M9 need to work on. He loved the “high spy times” of the Essek arc and the tangled-up-ness of feelings getting involved at the same time as intense commitment to duty.

Liam always felt Matt would bring Molly back in some aspect, even though Caleb always demurred because he doesn’t believe in fate. Dani and Brian agree that this is the start of a new act.

Ashley cried at the Vilya reunion. She thought that was an incredible moment and was so glad to see Keyleth. Liam: “Keyleth as part of our story is everything to me. That story is really important to me, so getting just a glimpse of her again was so important to me.” They could all see how that affected Marisha & how special it was to her. Liam: “It was such a great note in her song or color in her painting. She achieved magnificent things and was powerful and great, but had a very heartbreaking and sad ending, so to have this sliver of joy go back in is so complex and beautiful and masterfully done.”

Aaaaaaand that’s all for tonight! Remember, no Critical Role this week. Talks will be back in two weeks. As always, don’t forget to love each other. <3

[glossolali]

Post-episode 1 of Campaign 3 I'm having some complex feelings so the best way to sort through them for me is to write it all out then forget about it.. and I'm just sharing in case this helps anyone sort through theirs. Long post ahead!

So many different thoughts! First I can see why some people are upset about the changes, I also expected 7 brand new characters not 4 so that kind of up and down of expectation then disappointment of having the surprise deflate is not the best feeling, I get that.

That being said, personally I'm so happy to have the EXU crew back!! I remember feeling sad that it was over cause they were so great and I wanted more time with them (especially Dariax.... But I mean Matt could play him as an NPC hopefully maybe!) But I completely understand the disappointment, I think on some level I'm still like... Maybe they'll switch them out at some point?? Is Robbie permanent? What about other guests? If he leaves without Fearne and Orym it's kind of weird?? And so on.. and don't get me wrong, I'm glad Robbie is back cause he and Dorian are so great. But yeah, this seems to be the party that we have now! And they're a little kooky and different but I also know that this cast is really really good at collaborative storytelling and I know this story will be a great one.

I think another thing is that the shift from Campaign 2 is definitely weird. I definitely found myself missing the comfortable familiarity of the Mighty Nein's world and stories yesterday and part of me finally realised that it's over over (in canon at least) and that everyone's moved on.

So for me, and I suspect for some folks out there too, I'm not getting that same heartwarming, familiar, comforting feeling we got used to from years of getting to know all the C2 characters deeply and there's a void there that the new characters don't fit into, and that's kind of strange and a little sad too. But it's to be expected, right? It's only been one episode.

It'll take time to get used to the new crew and the new world and new format, but if it feels too different I don't think there's anything wrong with dropping the show and trying again later or just moving on, however sad that may be. I know this is a comfort show for a lot of folks, including me, and even more so since the world has been a mess for the last while, so I think having the soft blanket of escapism get traded in for a brand new one feels weird. And the possibility of having to make the decision to stop watching the show and stop being in the fandom if it just doesn't feel the same anymore probably isn't fun either. The fandom is a source of community and comfort too after all.

But even then, I just don't believe in how vocal some people are being directly to the cast. Like we've talked about this at length already, but it's really not okay to demand that these folks who are clearly having a great time and excited about their new game conform to what we want their game to look and feel like. There's no audience participation aspect to the story even if the cast are friendly and communicative and accessible to us. This is their game in the end, and if it doesn't feel right anymore, just yell about it to your friends, on your blog, etc then maybe drop it and move on.

Okay I'm done lol.. I think I realised through writing this that I'm going to keep watching for now and even though I enjoyed it and feel drawn to some of the characters, it does feel different and not as comfy, so if it feels like there's no spark where something clicks and falls into place for me over the next while, I will move on and finish watching C1 or rewatch C2, and come back later perhaps. Hope y'all feel good about doing the same if you have to!! <3

[dent-de-leon]

Nonagon is a mystery to me as well and I wish we knew more of him. Is it the eyes? The tomb? The blood? If Molly had lived to be chased down by Lucien then where would Nonagon manifest? Would he take control over Molly like Obann did with Yasha? Maybe corrupt him little by little as he leveled up? Or was he always there within Lucien, part of that charismatic cruelty of his? What was his previous goal, before he met his end at Vess' hand? I have so many questions. But I don't think (1/x)

we'll ever get the chance to figure it all out. Breaking the 4th wall for a moment, Nonagon was probably created before Lucien, a part of the deep lore sparkled into reality by a PC's blank backstory. Then Lucien's characterization came from the life Tal gave to Molly: the mannerisms, the accent, the ideals, the hearts broken when he met his fate. I can't tell if Matt took notes when Molly was still alive or if he studied the character during the hiatus, but one thing is clear: (2/x)

He's doing an incredible job at messing with our heads and tugging at our hearts. I want Molly back, for more than just a brief moment. I want to know more about Lucien and his relationship with the TT and the MT. And I want to understand the essence of the Nonagon and how he came into being. And wow, this got a bit longer than I thought it would. I'm sorry for throwing more questions than anything at you. I'm just so fascinated by these characters. I wish I could have them all. (3/3)

oh this is all really interesting!! I enjoyed reading all your asks, there are so many good points here. Throwing this under a cut because I went a bit long.

It’s interesting to think that Matt may have wrote the concept of the Nonagon before Taliesin even started planning Mollymauk. That’d be a really neat coincidence, if Molly just happened to figure perfectly into this grand relic of ancient history Matt was already mapping out. Though I think it’s just as likely Matt could’ve tweaked the Somnovum’s story to suit Molly. One thing’s for sure, and it’s that a lot of this arc of eldritch horror and Lucien’s rise to power was crafted for Taliesin specifically. 

You can see how excited he gets in certain moments with Lucien, how shocked and invested he is when that little shard of Molly bleeds through. Wherever Nonagon’s story ends, I hope Taliesin is happy with it. Similarly, I think a part of why Matt is able to show these little echoes of Molly in Lucien so well is because he knows Taliesin, and ultimately knows where he wanted to go with the character. 

As for whether Molly would’ve ever become the Nonagon himself had he lived, I feel like he was somehow spared from that fate. Partially because I feel his soul is now his own, and so he wasn’t corrupted by the Somnovum the way Lucien was. Partially because Lucien’s death might’ve temporarily severed his body’s connection with the Somnovum. Because, even with all nine Eyes, Molly was never tormented by any of Cognoza’s dreams. He wasn’t tortured by the screaming chorus or all seeing eyes in countless nightmares, didn’t get any strange abilities from the Eyes. For all intents and purposes, they were just...inactive for him. And I’m incredibly grateful he was able to avoid losing himself to this like Lucien. 

After watching the most recent episode, the Nonagon as his own character and as an extension of Lucien and Molly--well, he’s even more of a mystery to me. But I do have some thoughts. 

Something about all the Somnovum and Lucien begging the Nein to join them, to become one with them, to share in their life and power...I don’t know, it feels like an echo of when Molly was empty. Wistful, longing, desperate to hold onto something that feels real. Mollymauk found that: “Joy can fill an awful lot in a person’s life.” But this city can feed and feed, yet it will never be full. It’s cold, dead, all consuming. Empty.

Lucien the Nonagon still longs for the Nein, I think. To be near them and keep them by his side. It’s from Molly’s affection bleeding through, but processed and interpreted through Lucien’s own impressions. A bit warped and twisted by how he tries to rationalize it. “I feel like you all have some part to play still...like you’ve a use to me.” “Because try as I might, a part of me still likes them.” “Yes, that must be it. I needed witnesses...” 

They were merely more pieces to manipulate in this game of his--of course he didn’t kill them, they were useful. Or he needed an audience. Or he had to have witnesses. Time and again Lucien makes excuses for why he lets them live, lets them go, but still selfishly keeps them so close. “I left you alive? Why did I leave you alive?”

Lucien telling the Nein to join him, wanting to share in what he’s feeling with them, how he sounds so wistful and soft, “Come! It’s far prettier up here.” “I wish I could share it, but...you need to be with us. You have to be with the pattern.” Come see the view, just stop and rest awhile. It’s reminiscent of Lucien watching the sunrise with Caduceus, taking a moment to just breathe and enjoy something beautiful. 

He drives all his followers to their doom, yet still he clings to the Nein. Even after being corrupted by wasting away in Cognoza for years, shattered into broken fragments the Somnovum themselves pieced back together in their own distorted design. Lucien, the person he was before the Nonagon, whoever Cree once knew and called out to in her final moments--a part of him was a bit lost or lonely I think, desperately craving some way to stave off the “emptiness” in his own life. And maybe that was something he thought the city could provide. The power to turn dreams into reality, to grant any one of his desires. 

It’s strange, because...the Nonagon is this hungry, distorted presence of manipulation and control, an otherworldly entity that came here to obliterate the Somnovum and rule whatever remained of these ruins. The Lucien that was once a mortal man had long since been lost to this. That’s not even factoring in whatever compassionate shard of his soul was broken off and became Mollymauk. And yet, we see a gentler side of Lucien last episode, I think. He seems oddly welcoming when he sees the Nein. He wants them here with him, even if he can no longer understand why. Lucien, even while one with the Somnovum and the City, is still compelled to act on Molly’s feelings for the Nein--in his own distorted way. 

I think Lucien as the Nonagon, still feeling this ache from Molly’s heart, the way Mollymauk’s soul is still fighting and enduring within him...I think it means hope. More hope than I’ve had all campaign. Molly at least will survive this I think. And given that his soul was once part of Lucien’s, we can hope that maybe a part of Lucien’s heart, this glimpse into the better person he could’ve been--that lives on in Molly. 

[eponymous-rose]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E76-77 (September 10, 2019)

Our guests tonight: the twins! Laura Bailey and Liam O’Brien!

Announcements: The next episode of Between the Sheets will feature Felicia Day, and will air Monday, September 16th at 7 PM Pacific! Reminder: no CR this week (Matt’s off in Stockholm), and no Talks Machina following that! In place of Talks will be a livestream in which a tavernkeeper character that will appear in the animated series will be designed with the community (there’s a poll on the website)!

Episodes 76 and 77: Refjorged and A Tangled Web

Brian: “I was trying to harmonize, but there was no melody.”

Stats for this week’s (these weeks’?) episode(s): “bread” was mentioned 52 times. Episode 76 had the 300th natural one of campaign 2, and the 100th Message spell was cast. Ten days passed between Caleb’s talks with the Scourger. Jester cast Sending nine times. 14 DM facepalms, tying the record!

Changes with the new character art? Everyone bounced ideas back and forth several times. Laura: “Liam made fun of me because I took the longest.” She wanted her to look more and more like the Traveler, “like a Traveler cosplay”, and she wanted her clothes to reflect her growth recently. Caleb’s dirt was “a hiding mechanism, and that’s exposed, so it’s gone”. He was going for “frazzled” in the first one, and then more “grim” in the second. Brian: “A surprising character choice.”

Laura and Liam start replying to questions in character as dolls.

Jester’s not expressing her darker feelings to the group “mostly because I’m not aware that it’s nothing to be ashamed of.”

Caleb isn’t sure that Essik trusts him in the first place, and he doesn’t really trust Essik either. “I do think that Essik maybe likes the cut of my jib.” He thinks Essik may be trying to get him under his thumb, and he thinks he might potentially be a mole. Laura: “Wouldn’t it be so great, though, if Essik just wanted a friend?”

From Jester’s perspective, the Traveler’s followers can’t be a cult because he’s actually a god.

Caleb feels like they’re smart enough to stay ahead of whatever Essik might be planning, and he thinks they can play all sides (in a positive way). “They can meet the needs of the different people that they’re dealing with. He’s trying to actually broker some sort of a peace.”

Essik telling Jester there was nothing he wanted to learn from her definitely hurt her feelings, even though she wanted to hide that. “She doesn’t know who she is right now. That’s starting to register in her brain.”

Cosplay of the Week: an amazing Yasha! (on Twitter: Jobieleecos, photographer Topheroriel)

Caleb has been thinking about the Scourgers for years, wondering. “He didn’t spend time with the full-blown Scourgers as a student, he was on his way to being one.” He was curious about what kind of state someone would be in, knowing what he’d been through. He wanted to know if anyone who’d gone through that would be a lost cause, and he wanted a sense of what Astrid and Eodwulf might be like now. “He understands that he was manipulated. He still has lots of personal blame, but he understands that he was abused. If he has any hope for himself, he has to offer the same hope to her. To any of them.” Caleb would be quicker to absolve Yasha than he would himself. 

Jester fully believes that the Gentleman is her dad, and she “fully knows” that he doesn’t care, but she thinks she can convince him otherwise, and she’s “not about to let everybody else know that there’s somebody out there that is shitting on her a bit. She doesn’t want to admit that.”

There’s an unfortunate and very giffable interlude into an exercise program. Liam: “Can’t wait until my kids are teenagers and find this show.”

Caleb has a lot more confidence about facing his past. “Absolutely. He has very powerful friends, and they’re in the pocket of a queen. They have a lot of assets now, and he’s learned a lot and can do a lot more than he was able to.”

Laura does think it’s weird that nobody else can see the Traveler, “because he’s so very there.” Dani: “He’s, like, all up in your grill.” Laura wonders what Commune would do for the Traveler, since Jester can just sit down and talk to him anytime.

Fan Art of the Week: a flowered and broken Fjord! (on Twitter: Kingcael)

Caleb made himself and not anyone else in the M9 look like Trent during the Seeming, partly because he didn’t want to look him in the eyes and partly because it made sense to cast himself as “enemy number one”.

Jester’s been acting a bit more like the mom friend, because “her example for people that help, outside of the Traveler, is her mom, and so she tries to emulate that.”

Jester thinks Traveler Con is going to be a “really awesome celebration, where probably the Traveler will ask her to host a few panels, maybe there will be a rave, I don’t know. We’re still figuring it out.” Liam’s just picturing it as Burning Man with more green cloaks.

Talks exclusive: Brian was Frumpkin all along????

Being the one to scry on Yasha is really hard on Jester. “It’s hard to be the one that everyone relies on to be the messenger.” Laura enjoys it, but it’s a lot of pressure.

“Jester does feel like she’s doing a pretty lousy job of getting more followers.” Laura’s “had some talks with Travis” about picking the Wildmother. “The Traveler would have been a GREAT patron for a warlock.”

Dalen’s Closet Questions! (SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN ONE!!!!)

Stats! Vex is the only member of VM to get a HDYWTDT on both Sylas and Delilah. Grog called Derrig four names other than his own (including Dmitri).

Liam knew in advance that Sam intended to use his Wish on Vax, and he was glad to have a chance to think about it ahead of time. “I would have been freaked the fuck out if he had just sprung that on me.” Sam checked in with both Matt and Liam. Liam felt like he was coming in as an NPC.

Laura feels “fuckin’ awesome” about being responsible for both Briarwoods’ deaths.

The bone on Vax’s shoulder was supposed to be a physical manifestation of the tattoo he got of Keyleth’s antlers. “He is in a metaphysical mystery box.” From Vax’s perspective, time could have been passing differently. “He’s not just in Connecticut, he’s dead.” Laura points out that it was a lot harder “for him not to be just Vax. Nothing we said, nothing we could do, would change that. You can’t have that back.” Liam: “All of their decisions, but especially his decisions, had to have costs.”

Laura mentions that she feels like this was probably the last VM one-shot; it felt like a solid ending.

From the get-go, Vex was worrying about Vesper more than anything. “In no way did she want to say that out loud to Sylas.”

Liam: “I could accept everybody dying except for Vex.” Laura wonders if Vax would’ve left the Raven Queen if that had happened. Liam won’t speculate.

More Derrig info? Liam shares the names of his wife and kids.

Both Sam and Marisha thought they were Taliesin’s best man, and Sam had a speech written for Percy instead of Vex and had to rewrite it really fast. Laura: “Prior to the show, it fully felt like we were getting ready for a real wedding.” Laura thought ahead of time about what to say vow-wise, but didn’t write it down. “When it was time for it, I almost fully blanked on what I was supposed to be saying.”

Laura: “We’re twins every day, Liam!”

[emilyrosebass]

One Nation Under God: How President Biden and The Bachelor Franchise Use Christianity As An Unassailable Defense Against Divisiveness

“I’m going to pray for everybody.” 

Since Day 1, The Bachelor has always been a reflection of American values. But who could have expected that in 2021, just days apart, the inaugural speeches of America’s first Black Bachelor and President Joe Biden would be so similar, they practically followed the same sermon? 

Matt James, the first Black man to lead The Bachelor in its 20 year run, had much stacked against him when he “entered office.” He was a person of color navigating a show with a very white, often incredibly conservative audience. James followed Rachel Lindsay Abasolo, the first Black Bachelorette, whose 2017 season was met with record low ratings—a harrowing survey of Bachelor Nation which Mike Fleiss, creator and producer of the show, commented on in a NYT article, saying, “I found it incredibly disturbing in a Trumpish kind of way. It revealed something about our fans.” And in the three years since Rachel’s season, racism in the country has been pushed even further towards the surface; James took the helm amidst a resurgent wave of Black Lives Matter protests, racial inequity exasperated by the COVID-19 pandemic, and calls to defund a criminal justice system whose governance is inherently racist—each of which was met with equally loud conservative protest. Matt James’s season practically invited criticism from detractors: That he’s here for the wrong reasons, is undeserving of the (traditionally white) title, or was cast to placate increasing demands to diversify the show’s cast rather than for his merit. 

Facing an incredibly traditionalist racist sect of Bachelor Nation, James began his opening speech: “I’ve had so long to think about what I’m going to say to you all, but I’m going to take a different approach. If everybody could just bow their head really quick, I’m going to pray for everybody.” James framed his introduction with the one thing a conservative audience can’t argue with: Christianity. His entire image on the show is centered around his faith—his belief that love is “a blessing,” that he’s “been called” to find his wife, and his confession that each decision he makes is based on his religious code of ethics. 

His faith in God, and by extension, his faith in the show’s process as God’s plan, protects him and the franchise from criticism over political or ideological differences. Frankly, being Christian is very “here for the right reasons.” Because he’s a godly man, anything else can be understood (Throwback to Hannah B’s infamous line: “I’ve had sex, and honestly, Jesus still loves me.”) It’s an MO that resists criticism—You cannot question a person’s character if their decisions, in James’s own words, are inspired by God. Worshipping the same god levels the playing field; two people are one and the same standing before their Lord. 

Framing Matt James’s season in Christianity was vitally important for the show to maintain its conservative Christian audience. With this one prayer, and the many to follow, the show effectively fulfilled its two opposing demographics—one that would, under any other circumstance, reject a Black Bachelor, and the other which threatened to stop watching if the show made no effort to diversify or progress. This isn’t to doubt Matt James’s faith, he is clearly a religious man, but the degree to which The Bachelor producers highlighted his Christianity was undoubtedly damage control.

Herein lies the identical strategy used throughout President Joe Biden’s speech at his inauguration on January 20th: Christianity as an unassailable call for unity.

Of course, President Biden faced the same divisive nation when he took office, on an even larger scale. His opposition was loud and numerous (I know few who actually favored him as anything more than an alternative to the last administration, but that’s a conversation for another day). “Sleepy Joe” was fervently and vocally hated throughout his campaign, and especially in the months leading up to his swearing-in ceremony. Just days before his inauguration, domestic terrorists stormed the Capitol in an act of political extremism opposing a peaceful transfer of power. This group, and those around the country who share their beliefs, are white supremacists who villainize the Black Lives Matter movement and the fights for economic and racial equity. Now-president Biden was called to speak to a divided, suffering nation in the heat of battles over innumerable causes: the origin of COVID-19 and the resulting xenophobia, the prior administration’s response to the pandemic, mass unemployment, the need for financial stimulus, the role of our criminal justice system, the (in)efficacy of a government that underprioritizes social programs—the list goes on. 

President Biden’s inauguration was framed by fears of another insurgence, increased police presence throughout DC and other major cities, and national uncertainty apart from the consensus that the fight is not over and more conflict is sure to come. Strategically, in response, he delivered a speech that carefully aligned national unity and peace with Christian beliefs. 

His sermon urging Americans to come together was packed with references to Christianity: “History, faith, and reason show the way of unity,” “From now on, on this hallowed ground, where just days ago violence sought to shake the Capitol’s very foundation, we come together as one nation under God,” Let us add our own work and prayers to the unfolding story of our great nation. If we do this, then when our days are through, our children and our children’s children will say to us, ‘They gave their best, they did their duty, they healed a broken land,’” and “I promise you this—As The Bible says, weeping may endure for a night but joy cometh in the morning. We will get through this together.” 

The president’s heavy handed implication is that if Americans come together united by religious values, they may still disagree politically, but morally they must grant eachother mutual respect. And if the nation at least shares a faith and a belief system, the rest can be worked out. 

With that, Biden punctuated his speech with the same sentiment that began Matt James’s: “We’ve been through so much in this nation, and as my first act as President, I’d like to ask you to join me in a moment of silent prayer.” 

The Christian unity gameplay—and that’s what it is, a defensive play leaders can pick from their playbook, as strategic and well-thought-out as a quarterback at the Super Bowl—deflects criticism and forces togetherness in a way that only religion can achieve. This isn’t to say that President Biden fixed bipartisan division overnight, or that there are no more intolerant, racist Bachelor fans, but it’s clear the two both recognized the Christian gameplay was their best shot at a win. 

[captainsspnanon]

C2E64 - A Dangerous Chase - rewatch reaction

I think I’m ready for some journey to Bazzoxan tonight!  Definitely won’t get it finished, but ready to jump in.

(also I just bought a crap ton of dice.  I already have 10 sets.  I only play dnd once a month.  I am a full goblin at this point.  This was honestly one of the reasons that I was scared of getting into dnd, because I KNEW I would go goblin.  I tried not to for like, a year, and now I’ve given in.)

….So.  I also watch an Australian pokemon go youtuber, ProPlanty. …..I just want to know how he would react to this ad bit from Sam.

THAT’S a shirt that’s never been restocked!  Wonder what it looks like up close.

*removes a whole bunch of math in regards to locate object with the realization that the problem is not distance in dnd being bs, the problem is me and my failure to conceptualize any level of ‘higher’ math now that I’ve been out of school for ages.  I used to take calculus!  Now I use a calculator for everything.*  Well, one legit piece of info I did get is that when they sensed Obann at the edge of the 1000 ft spell, it would have taken one of them only just over 1.5 minutes to dash to get there.   ….wait.  *does more research*   World record for a 300 meter dash (which is 984 feet) is 30.81 seconds (Wayde van Niekerk from South Africa on June 28, 2017).   ….I am reminded of many posts online talking about how you really shouldn’t try to relate dnd to real life.  I am learning that lesson for myself.  (Beau with her movement of 45, using dash and step of the wind, would run 1000 feet in 44 seconds, so that’s at least

No I’m not going to continue that thought.  I am backing out of that tangent that ended up being useless and getting back into the episode.  I’m still only in the Last Time On!

For what it’s worth, I fully recognize that Laura and Taliesin both being in the black and yellow outfits means that I’ve seen clips or gifs from this episode for SOMETHING, but I can’t think of what it could be!

Ah, the discussion about “Orphanmaker”.  I still have quibbles with the reasons for the name, because it just plain confuses me.  I suppose it’s indicative of the attitudes of the tribe, that they give each other tough sounding names despite not living up to it, but it always ends up muddling how I feel about the name.  I also suppose that this is the point of the name though, that it ISN’T some narratively clear cut “Yasha earned the name through her actions with Obann but since she can’t remember it she doesn’t know how she got the name and thus how she would relate to being called it”. Instead it’s “Yasha was given the name by her tribe, basically just considered it a nickname/title, then actually ended up earning it under Obann which she doesn’t remember, which now adds a layer on to how she may feel or relate to the name once she knows about her past again”, which isn’t bad don’t get me wrong!  But it doesn’t slot easily into a story beat, which I guess is why I struggle with it at times (which says more about me than anything). To be fair, a reason for it may have been Ashley choosing the name to 1) sound badass and 2) give Matt something to play with during her amnesia times.  Does Ashley ever actually clarify out of campaign? (I also wish we knew what Zuala’s tribe name was.  As it is, I think we only ever know Orphanmaker and Skyspear?)

I love how Matt will present Option Safe and Option Cool and the group ALWAYS goes for Option Cool.  Travis’s delight at going through the Barbed Fields, the “ground zero of the calamity” is so palpable.  It also makes me even more happy that Travis was in the Calamity one-shot, he deserves it!  LOOK HOW EXCITED HE IS.

(I also love how Matt will sometimes take a joke and play it super straight – Sam asking Maruo if she’s seen Stranger Things and Maruo responding that she’s only seen half of the first season [hey me too], such a well balanced joke that throws everyone off)

Pike spoke Undercommon?  I did not know that!  Then again, I thought Yasha DID speak Undercommon.  No, critrolestats has her with just Common and Celestial.

Aw man, they never do get to Charis.  To be fair, I’m not surprised that Caleb doesn’t know what it is on a 26, I’m assuming it’s just a regular place in Xhorhas.  *looks at the wiki* Okay, a sweet little place, but not devastating that they didn’t get there.  Not worth a one-shot either.

I do love when this group is just all on different pages but all focused towards the same objective.  I think this is the most obvious moment of it playing out, with Maruo even referencing the mixed messages several times.  I don’t think any other group was this Messy, but it works when it’s the Nein.

I love the moorbounders so much!!  I think they’re about to lose them though, yeah?  Don’t they leave them in Bazzoxan and never get them back?  SAD TIMES.

I’m really glad that Ashley rolled high for Yasha to be able to share information about the Barbed Fields.  Because of where she’s from, she’s not really a PC created for infodumping, especially because the areas of Xhorhas that they have gone to are outside of her travels.  But being able to give a good chunk of info about the Barbed Fields has to feel good.

Ah, maybe this is the moment why I recognize the outfits?  Beau needing a short rest but refusing to ask for one, so Caleb immediately telling the group how weak he is and how much he needs a rest.  These two are SUCH a great pairing.

I don’t know if I remembered the joke before it happened, or if I just got it before they did it, but after Jester and Caduceus indicating to use spells at the end of the day, I did the little les mis singalong too XD

Ah no.  This is the Canon episode.  So far we’ve got “don’t shoot the messenger”, “don’t beat a dead horse”, and golf. Edit from later – and ravioli!

Slight spoilers for campaign 3, but I miss the sense of travel and exploration we have from C2, which doesn’t make SENSE because there IS travel and exploration in C3!  But for whatever reason, it doesn’t resonate as much with me like journeying through the Barbed Fields and stuff, and I have no clue why.

WAIT THIS IS WHERE YASHA GETS THE SKINGORGER???  I 100% forgot and thought Obann gave it to her!!  Maybe he only gives her the breastplate.

Fun fact!  I have no clue if this is just me or not, but I haven’t felt like any of Yasha’s swords actually FIT her, you know?  The Magician’s Judge, Skingorger, the Holy Avenger, Scaldsaber, they all SOUND cool AF, and apparently cleaver-style swords are her thing, but I dunno.  Maybe it’s because the fact that she did use so many swords that it ended up feeling like there wasn’t one that fit her well.  Unlike Fjord, where he has the falchion which just absorbs different characteristics, and then gains …. gains…. Hold on…. wiki help me….the Star Razor.  And both of those swords feel so strongly like they FIT, and the changeover has strong significance and character impact.  Whereas Yasha is just a little more like a videogame, swapping out one weapon for another when it’s better suited for it.  I suppose not everyone needs an Iconic Weapon though. How many weapons did Grog end up using?  Wiki shows EIGHT different weapons!  Plus just whatever normal axe he used at the beginning of the campaign which doesn’t even look like it’s on his wiki page so NINE?

For what it’s worth, cool combat!  Just not much to say.

Have I mentioned that I’m super mixed on the nickname Jessie for Jester?  Like, it’s a completely legit nickname that fully makes sense in context, and it’s cute that they all start having a nickname for her, so I do love that.  On the other hand, it’s just kind of a regular name?  Fjord, Yasha, Caduceus, Nott – all insanely unique names.  Beau/Beauregard?  Uncommon and rarely a female name.  Caleb is a normal enough name, but I feel like that 1) works with this concept, and 2) I mean, Bren Aldric Ermendrud is so not a normal typical name, and I feel like adding Widogast helps make it more unique.  And then “Jessie”.  *shrugs*  It’s a pretty stupid whine on my part, but it’s the bit of mixed feelings for the nickname.

Fjord giving Jester a kiss on the cheek, causing her ALL sorts of confusion!!  Honestly?  I’d love to know the out of game conversations that Laura and Travis had in regards to in game romance.  We know the bits said on Talks, but I’m assuming that those are exaggerated for humorous effect.  If I had to come up with and submit a question for the tower on 4SD, it would probably be ‘what is an example of some out of game conversations you have had with the other players or DM that you would feel comfortable sharing?’

Caleb uses Magic Missile more than I remember him doing so.  Then again, I think I underestimate this spell.  I remember being, not annoyed, but feeling like Matt wasn’t have Essek be super efficient during the Lucien fight when Essek just kept using Magic Missile. Probably just my own biases against the spell.  It IS automatic damage, no roll to hit or saving throw, so that is beneficial. Critrolestats says cast a total of 20 times, so it’s not like it was one of Caleb’s high use spells.  I think I think of it like Chromatic Orb – good for very early campaign and that’s all.  Can you tell I don’t play too much dnd yet?  (to be fair, also just played a druid, messing around a bit with a rogue now)

(looking at critrolestats, I’m sad that they didn’t track the spells that Essek did, but it makes sense because they don’t track NPC spells.  Essek is a PC in my heart, okay???)

I don’t know if this is the first time that Nott gets a nat 20 immediately followed by a nat 1 on the auto-firing, but I know it’s not the last!  I feel like this happens at LEAST three times.

Ooo, nice!  Obann name drop AND the Angel of Irons in the same questioning of the head!  Smart plays, good deception checks, and well picked questions.

I do wonder if this plot thread of the cult was always meant to be a sort of open closed plot revolving around Yasha, or if Matt has/had further ideas for Tharizdun.  It honestly could go either way.

I forgot that we got a canon reference to Marion’s agoraphobia before it actually came up for the party.  I like that!  I’d misremembered and thought that the party was the first time. Probably just the first time we clearly see it from her.

It’s very interesting seeing Caleb pushing so hard to stop Luc from being brought to the Chateau, because he’s so sure that Marion is now under suspicion.  Liam pushes it in many episodes, and while it’s discussed, it’s also discarded and Luc is still brought there.  In reality, it’s only in episode 128 that Marion is ever in danger, and it’s because of the break in at the sanatorium that the party do, nothing to do with the letter.

I love the games where they don’t want to stop playing and beg for more time.  This time it was an option!  But Laura needed to stop for health/baby reasons, and that takes priority.

[yuijegnan]

3AM crazy talk

Hi all!

Do you guys remember me? It’s me! Yui Jegnan(I go by General Krukov now)! That one guy who used to work with a coder from Slovenia in an attempt to make video games! It’s been way more than a year since the last time I posted, but here we are. Let me fill you in on what happened during that time. 

Why haven’t you been posting?

The reason I haven’t been posting here for a while was because of the google analytics statistics I’ve looked at during my Victory Road greenlight campaign. While the campaign got greenlit in a mere few days with a very positive ratio, I was sort of shocked to find out that there was almost no conversion from the tumblr post at all despite having about 200+ reactions on the post itself. I greatly appreciate the support you guys have given me over the years, but I decided it’s better off spending time on the game development itself rather than posting stuff with no real purpose. The change in tumblr policy also made me stop visiting the site altogether, so that pretty much made me forget that this thing even existed.

What happened to Victory Road?

That’s what I’m here to talk about! The game is actually almost ready for release! As I was preparing for marketing strategies just now, I suddenly remembered about tumblr. I noticed a bunch of people asking me about the game in my inbox, so I felt obligated to at least talk about it. I know it’s 3AM, and I know it won’t really have much exposure. So this post is purely for you guys who’s followed me for years(I’m not sure how many people continued using this site after the policy change though). 

I’m going to release the game around early March on steam if things go as planned. There is no turning back this time. A lot of things happened in 2019, and I have to let you guys know, that @mattsuperdev​ was diagnosed with another brain tumor back in January 2019. In the past, he won the fight against his first one, but this time, things seemed a bit different. Matt was a very stoic and adamant guy. He was the type of guy who wouldn’t stop working on the game even if I told him to take a break, but with the diagnosis of the 2nd one, he stopped working on the game altogether. I fully understood and decided to get another guy on board.

The development has been pretty tough since then. As it took time for the new guy to get used to the engine and the mechanics itself. The fact that Matt never coded the game with consideration of having another coder working on it also made it difficult for him. As the new guy and I were suffering, Matt occasionally asked me when the game would come out. Out of curiosity, I asked him why he was asking. Matt said

“Because if I die from the tumor before this game comes out, I’m pretty much the biggest loser on this planet”

I was shocked to hear that, he never mentioned anything about whether things are getting worse for him or not even when I asked him, but this made me think that things may not end well for him. I’ve contacted him every few days since then to see how he is doing. In December 2019, I was told by Matt’s friend that he died at 5AM.

I couldn’t do anything for about a week. It’s not that I needed his help on the development anymore, he has been out of it long enough for me to adjust to it. I was constantly haunted by that one line he told me a few months ago about being the biggest loser on this planet. His fear came true, and it really pained me to imagine what he was thinking about right before his death. His death was totally undeserved. I know this already, but it all just felt like nothing is fair in this world. By this time, the new guy also had to leave the project due to life circumstances, so I was on my own with the basic amount of coding knowledge that he had taught me before leaving.

At first, I felt like pursuing something else instead, because it just felt like everything is over. Even if I finished this game alone, I wouldn’t really know if it would do well or not in the end, so why bother? However, I came to the conclusion that I want to see this game through, not just for me, but also as a tribute to Matt’s involvement in my gamedev life. He is not the biggest loser like he thinks he is, he was the other 50% of Victory Road. I’m sure someone out there will remember him for that after playing the game. 

Since then, I’ve been working hard at the game alone, and I’ve got it to a very stable state with almost no crashes or major bugs. It also seems like some people really enjoy the game to the extent that they play the games for hours and hours nonstop. It was by that time I was sure to start my Early access release procedure.

Sorry for the long post and nonsensical rambling. To be honest, the first thing I actually did after I logged on to tumblr just now, was to look at @mattsuperdev​‘s page. It was actually my first time ever reading his posts thoroughly, and I found this post. 

//////

//////

Matt, you bastard, and here I was thinking all these years that you never appreciated the things I did for you. I didn’t even know you thought of it that way. Hey, did you know that Seth came out in Street Fighter 5? I remember you used to play that character all the time in Street Fighter 4. It reminds me of you every time I encounter him in the game and I’m sure you would have really liked it. I miss you, man.

Your life was not in vain, my brother. I won’t make that happen. 

*picture is Matt from few years ago with a random slovenian girl. This is the only picture I have of him.

That’s it for today. I meant to write about the game, but instead, I ended up writing about Matt. Sorry about that. Please support our game by wishlisting it on steam page. 

https://store.steampowered.com/app/1002430/Victory_Road/

[vethyourhalflingmother]

Elaina, Syldor, and their Twins: I Ramble About Character and Relationship Headcanons Like I’m Writing A Fucking Academic Essay

***SPOILERS FOR CAMPAIGN ONE OF CRITICAL ROLE***

**THIS POST IS VERY LONG. NO, I DON’T KNOW WHAT CONCISE MEANS**

PART ONE: WHAT WE KNOW

As viewers, we do not know much about the details of the relationship between Vax and Vex’s parents, Elaina and Syldor, and we actually don’t know that much about the twins’ relationships with each of their parents (although there are some key moments that give us certain hints). Therefore, most of this is based on my own headcanons and impressions, which I will attempt to explain, but this is the disclaimer that ultimately this is my own interpretation and everyone is entitled to see view it all how they want to see it.

Now, that said, I am going to start by going over what we know. 

Vax and Vex’s history summaries, which appeared at the beginning of early Critical Role episodes, give us the most information about their parents. 

Vax’s says,

“Along with twin sister Vex'ahlia, Vax was born by a chance encounter between elven royalty and human peasantry. Raised by their mother in their early years, the twins were eventually sent off to their father in the elven capital of Syngorn. But their cool reception among the elves there never warmed, and their time in the capital didn't last. The siblings stole away one autumn night and set out on the open road.” (source)

and Vex’s tells the same story, 

“Born of a human mother and an elven father—who only later in life took an interest in their existence—, Vex'ahlia and her twin brother Vax'ildan quickly realized the only people they could truly rely on in this world were each other.

It was at the age of ten when the two were taken from their mother, and brought to live in Syngorn, the isolated elven city for which their father was an ambassador. He quietly took them in, but always kept an icy distance, and after too many years of disdainful looks, the pair decided to leave his indifference behind, and set out on their own.” (source)

However, this isn’t the entire story. (Most of my source for the following information comes from Heredity and Hats, and I recommend watching the twins’ entire conversation with their father, their step-mother (Devana), and their sister (Velora), from roughly here until here).

Firstly, we learn the Syldor Vessar, the twins’ father isn’t exactly royalty; he’s an ambassador with substantial rank and privilege, but not as much as an actual royal, which is implied when he tells them that he can only get them one meeting with Syngorn’s leader, the High Warden - he’s probably more like a nobleman, which I’ll go into more about later. This also explains why he was out of such a closed off city in the first place. 

Secondly, it is unclear how involved Syldor and Elaina’s relationship was, probably because the twins themselves don’t know. There’s some implication that it was a brief fling or a one-night stand, from the language “a chance encounter” and how Vex crudely describes her and her brother’s conception as Syldor “fuck[ing] some random woman in a city [he] passed through.”

Thirdly, it is also unclear how Syldor came to take care of the twins. At times (like in Vax’s summary, and in some of Vex’s mentions of her mother), it is suggested that Elaina sent the twins to Syldor, whereas in the twins’ conversation with Syldor in Heredity and Hats, it is suggested that he took the twins from her (Vax’s line about leaving them to be with their mother when she died strongly suggests this). 

Fourthly, we know that Elaina was a peasant seamstress from Byroden who was killed when Thordak the Cinder King destroyed the town (when the twins were roughly 12 years old, probably before they ran away from Syldor - one of the artbooks supposedly puts the twins at 13 or 14 when they left Syngorn, but since I don’t have a copy myself, I’m not sure). This tells us quite a bit; both Vex and Vax’s summaries mention the racial difference between their parents, and in Heredity and Hats, Syldor brings up his people’s bigotry against humans and half-elves and how his life is easier when the twins aren’t part of it. Vax’s also mentions their class differences. And because Elaina is dead, we don’t see her until Vax dies himself - where we get one line of her saying that she’s proud of him. 

PART TWO: BASIC ASSUMPTIONS ON WHICH MORE COMPLEX INTERPRETATIONS ARE BUILT

Now that those facts are on the table, what do they mean for my interpretation and subsequent headcanons? In order to get into that, we have to start with my more basic assumptions based on the above information. 

To start at the beginning, Vex is likely right when she says Syldor was passing through Byroden and had a quick fling with Elaina. He probably didn’t know that he got her pregnant. It’s altogether possible that he stopped in this little town for one night on his way to do some ambassadorial duties and didn’t think twice about it until he passed through again and heard a rumor about some half-elf children, and I headcanon that’s what happen. (That said, they could’ve had a short fling as well, though I doubt there was any love. Syldor clearly looks down on humans, and Elaina’s class likely doubled that bigotry.) 

As for a timeline about when the Syldor first heard he may have bastard children and when he decided to interfere, I don’t have a specific one, but I feel like he probably spent a long time debating about it - and how it would affect his personal and professional life. As mentioned above, Vax’s summary implies that Syldor is royalty, but his status is more complicated than that. It does have special privileges, and I know because in Syngorn is childbaring is very regulated (as described in Matt Mercer’s Tal’Dorei Campaign Guide, children have to be approved by the government before conception, and unapproved children, even full-blooded elves, are sent to live outside the city). As an ambassador Syldor probably gets special passes on certain things, like leaving the city in general, and bringing back illegal wines and children to Syngorn and claiming they’re gifts that just can’t be turned down from the city’s allies. 

Ultimately, he either fell prey to his own arrogance about the importance of his bloodline or he felt guilty. I’m inclined to believe it’s a mixture of both emotions, though probably more guilt, since Syldor expresses that he cares about the twins in some capacity - just not nearly as much as children deserve from their father.  

Now, for Elaina, at this point, I have a considerably less clear picture of her than I do Syldor, just due to lack of information. However, I’ve seen a few interpretations that don’t particularly do it for me, such as her being lovelorn and entirely passive. I don’t tend to like that because 1) her children are both very active in their own destinies, including their romantic lives, and 2) that’s a pretty stereotypical position for her to be in, especially given that Syldor has a lot of a status over her. But when I was developing Elaina, I had to sift through some deeper stuff before I started deciding what she would be, as a character in my head, rather than just what she wasn’t. 

Which brings me to a more complex question that ended up being fundamental to my personal interpretation of Syldor and Elaina, both together and as individuals: did Elaina send the twins with Syldor or did Syldor take the twins from Elaina? 

PART THREE: ADDRESSING THE NUANCE

So. I already said that Liam contradicts himself on this wording. The real world explanation for that is likely that he wasn’t thinking about the difference, or that the twins’ backstory became clearer once they played more, which are both incredibly valid possibilities. But I am an English major, and if you’ve followed my blog for awhile, you know I like to pick on little details for fun. And this little detail has some interesting implications.

The difference between Elaina sending the twins with Syldor and Syldor taking them is a matter of both Elaina’s personal choice and Syldor’s use of force. But’s not so simple as she definitely gave them of her own will or Syldor definitely made her - and this isn’t just due to lack of information, it’s also because I get the impression that the twins themselves view the situation differently. 

I don’t have sources on hand, but I got the feeling that Vex felt more like Elaina gave them over to Syldor too willingly, whereas Vax’s frustration with the situation was only directed at Syldor (perhaps because he holds his mother in high esteem, or maybe because he really does believe she did what she could to try & keep them/was forced to give them up against her will). Perhaps at a later date, I will write something else going into the twins’ perspectives on their parents and general heritage, but since that’s a whole other can of worms, I’m going to leave it there for now. 

The point is, my understanding was that the twins were not unified in their thoughts of moving from mom to dad, and what I took from that was, well it was probably a very nuanced situation. 

Elaina obviously cared for her children. There’s evidence. As mentioned above, Vax would’ve rather died with her than live in Syngorn. They went back to try and find her after they ran away. The Raven Queen used her to ease Vax’s passing. But that doesn’t mean she wouldn’t give them up to Syldor. She was a peasant. The twins imply that they were poor growing up - this, combined with their time on their own after Syngorn, seem to be why Vex is as concerned with money as she is. If Syldor said, “I could give them a life where money wasn’t a worry,” I would think she’d take it under consideration.

I don’t think she would be eager to send her children into the unknown with a man she barely knows, especially not one that also looks down his nose at her, though. Perhaps if she were desperate, but there’s no indication that the twins were starving, and they did have a house and clothes (as Vax dramatically recalls at one point when he thinks he’s dying), and Elaina did have a job as a seamstress. Obviously, I can’t say for certain that she wasn’t completely desperate, but my impression is that she wasn’t. 

The other factor is how willing she is to just let things happen to her. If she was quite passive, then perhaps she would hand them over simply due to her lack of ability to stand up for herself. But very early into this, I started formulating an Elaina that was very headstrong and fierce and took control of her own destiny. This, to me, felt true to the part of her we know most about: her children. And ultimately, it’s the kind of thing that turns a flat character into one with more substance - it’s not an easy decision for her.

So that is the Elaina who sees the merit of Syldor’s suggestion, but also the Elaina who wants to refuse it. Why doesn’t she? Because Syldor is a man (elf? you know what I mean) with power, something I’m sure she’d known from the moment she met him. It isn’t as if men like Syldor hide that shit. Do I think he outright threatened to beat her down if she didn’t hand over the twins? No, not at all. But an implication of how... traumatic it would be for the twins if he stopped asking nicely could work well enough coupled with promises of good futures for them. Or it might not even be that overt; maybe he could’ve  just demand a decision from her without giving her time to think, or time to talk to the twins about what they want. And so now not only is it not easy, but maybe it’s not even entirely her own. There’s another layer to her and the situation. 

Therefore, in my mind, when Elaina watches the twins leave, she roiling with all sorts of emotions - anger, loss, apprehension, anxiety, maybe even a small bud of hope - but most immediately, regret. My version of Elaina, more than anything, curses herself over her decision to let the twins go, until the moment her house catches fire. 

PART FOUR: SYLDOR, A CHARACTER SUMMARY

Syldor Vessar is an asshole. He was probably an asshole to Elaina, though I doubt they talked much. He’s a bad father. He brought the twins into an environment he knew would be hostile to them and then neglected them. Then he tried to hide behind the excuse of “well, I did all I could.” However, I see a lot of asshole fathers portrayed in fiction that remind me of cartoon villains with black and white perspectives and iron fists. But Syldor’s a different brand.  Because Syldor says that he cares and that he’s proud of the twins. He gives them access to the High Warden. He admits to some of his wrong doings. And on some level, that stuff is probably true and genuine. I think he believes he did all he could. He knows he wasn’t the best father, but clearly he didn’t see himself as bad enough to not have another child. He probably assumes he can do better by Velora. And maybe he can, with a full-blooded elf, with a daughter he actually considers his own. But maybe not. To me, it looks like Syldor’s love is extremely conditional. From what Vax and Vex imply, the conditions are how pointy your ears are, how much money you have in your pocket, and how well you can conform. 

PART FIVE: ELAINA, A CHARACTER SUMMARY

I’ve said most of this already, but Elaina is my tragedy that really tried to resist being a tragedy. As far as her life prior to Syldor, I like to think she was doing her best to enjoy life in order to balance all the damn work she had to do. I like to think she was popular in Byroden, and that she had lots of acquaintances but few really close friends. I like to think she had one night a week where she went to the tavern and got piss drunk. I like to think that she spat at the men who told her to smile. I like to think that he needlework was some of the best in the region, which is a small prize, but one of her to be proud of. I like to think that she slept with more than just Syldor. 

And I like to think that she kept all that fervor when she had the twins, but that she repurposed it a little to better suit them. I like to think she made up wild stories and told them to the twins every night. I like to think she wasn’t a great cook, but that her meals still had that something special that only mothers can add. I like to think she instilled the sense of goodness in the twins that follows what is right, not what is the law. And I like to think that she sparked something in them that led them to be champions of literal gods. That she was more than just a footnote to encourage their vengeance against a dragon they were going to kill anyway and more than just a random woman Syldor fucking Vessar fucked.  

Because to me, it feels like she did mean much more than can be said, at least to her children.

[loquaciousquark]

Talks Machina Highlights - Critical Role C2E111 (Redux! Oct. 13, 2020)

Gooooood evening good evening good evening, all! I started the VOD late for this recap and somehow the first four or so minutes of the show have a Twitch audio copyright claim, so I am reduced to only reading Brian's lips when he asks if we're on the internet. Hilariously, Marisha's background room is a comfy-looking blue/gold fabric wall with a ceramic colorful abstract lamp and a yellow silk scarf over the lampshade, and Taliesin's is an industrial looking games room in grey and black with multiple monitors, overhead speakers, and mysterious metal fixtures behind him. What a treasure this group is, honestly.

Tonight's guests: Marisha Ray & Taliesin Jaffe, discussing episodes 110 and 111 again. I wildly speculate once more about what might have caused their absence: jury duty? Sam appearing on The Masked Singer? Something to do with the animated show? One day, we’ll know, one day... (One day this “copyrighted audio” section will come back from the wars, too. Ugh!) Finally! The audio comes back to reveal Brian discussing the endless reality of digital meetings and Marisha talking about (I think) her glare-reducing glasses she’s wearing. Welcome to the New Age (welcome to the New Age, to the New Age).

Announcements: Marisha suggests checking out Dimension20, another live tabletop gaming group, which premieres live on Wednesdays at 4pm (CollegeHumor). 

Brian immediately wants to know how they feel about the revelation that Molly is alive. Taliesin’s personal reaction: he “knows some things” he can’t talk about and is aware of several possibilities that might be going on, but had a sneaking suspicion that there would not be a body for them to find. He says it’s almost all there for anyone to see in past material. Marisha’s personal reaction: she just wants to know how she’s doing with her theories, & was trying to block Tal’s face out deliberately as she was going off on her theories in the last episode. Taliesin says he thought her ideas were pretty good!

Cad has no clue what to think - it’s like listening to your friends talk about Buffy. Marisha thought it was a 50/50 Molly would still be there, but Beau had no idea. Not that it mattered, because as soon as Matt went through with it the reveal still blew their minds. Tal laid out his plans for the character with Matt during Campaign One (towards the end) after they all got their VM tattoos.

It is a “horrifying and gross” thing to dig up a body, and Beau was pretty reluctant to do it. Tal, as Cad: “Sometimes dead’s better.” The moral quandary of trying to speak with a dead friend was very different here than the frequent occasions they used the spell in C1.

Taliesin says his poker face is very bad, so it’s easier for him to over-react and let it all play out. The only other player he can see very easily from his place in their current setup is Travis, and because he knows Travis doesn’t watch TM, tweet, or participate in social media, he admits he thoroughly enjoyed watching Travis freak out at his freaking out. He says he only knew about 20% of what Matt described at the end of that episode. He was picking things to mug to increase Travis’s surprise. I love this so much.

Taliesin provided the table left leg shake; Travis provided table right. Ha!

Beau is really accepting her role in the Cobalt Soul. It’s good when “as a person, you feel like you can settle into your calling. Sometimes you can do more from the inside than fighting from the outside.” It’s a mirrored but opposite path of Keyleth from C1; Beau felt like she was too good for her duty, while Keyleth thought she wasn’t good enough.

Caduceus is not a big believer in jumping to conclusions. He does have an idea/notion of the “city of the undead” and thinks all this necrotic energy must come from somewhere, and wonders if this is the “capital of anti-death.” He’s willing to believe whatever he sees. This is one of the few things that trigger a bit of loathing and disgust in him. It was terrifying that the Wildmother didn’t know anything.

Beau is pretty confident in her Charlie Day impression laying-out-the-research last episode. She enjoyed taking the things that were known & extrapolating around them; this is a huge facet of Marisha’s own personality and she really enjoys it, so she built a character this time that would allow that kind of puzzle-solving. It’s also why she repeatedly notes when Beau journals, so she can avoid metagaming. Trent’s mention of Vess Durogna’s tomb raiding was completely circumstantial, and the only reason she’d made the connection to the Tombtakers was because she’d recently reviewed those notes for a separate unannounced project. Sometimes she tries to make connections and Matt is like, “It was...just descriptive. Just flavor. The curtains were red...” and she has to discard a paragraph of notes. She feels like it’s still something they have to do because of “look at what he does! Look! It’s totally valid!”

Cosplay of the Week: @kitsunstudios with a gorgeous Caduceus with a very intricate silk vest.

Caduceus’s takedown of Trent! One of my favorite moments in the entirety of C2. Taliesin felt Trent was an asshole; Caduceus felt sorry for him because of how dumb he thought he was. Caduceus’s response was "this is the dumbest man I’ve ever met in my life. He’s so dumb! Is nobody going to tell this guy how dumb he is? Oh, they’re all freaked out. Somebody needs to tell this guy he’s an idiot before somebody gets hurt.” (Marisha: “Before?”) Tal says it was the product of several years of therapy and many drunk conversations with Whitney Moore. It was from a genuine place of concern from Caduceus. “How are you allowed to have this much power and be that dumb?”

Brian loved how funny it was to watch everyone tiptoe around Trent and then Caduceus bulldoze through the end of the meal.

Taliesin: “Damage doesn’t make you interesting or better. It’s not what makes you good. Character isn’t found in damage. Just recovery.”

Brian & Marisha commiserate going through the stage where believing surviving something automatically made you a stronger person, better for the pain; instead it just meant you had to pick up the pieces after. Marisha talks about how strength through survival may be true for some people, but it shouldn’t be considered a necessity. Taliesin talks about how he used to think he had to be miserable to write. Brian talks about how believing he liked reading and writing miserable things only limited him for years.

Marisha feels it’s a C2 theme that almost all the PCs have someone trying to handwave or take credit for their accomplishments or explain their pain as being for their own good (Trent, Beau’s dad, Obann). She thinks it’s interesting to see all the various ways people try to take credit for your work/delegitimize you as a person. She loves that RPGs allow you to explore these odd moralities in interesting ways. The only way to fight it is to have a sense of your own self-worth, which is a problem a lot of the M9 started with.

Caduceus likes everyone, and really likes people who appear to need role models (Eodwulf). “With the right friends and the right bar and the right attitude, I think he’d be okay. Come over here where it’s so much better. That seems like an exhausting friendship that you have there.”

Marisha loves the mix of personalities in the M9; Veth, Cad, & Jester were all “we kind of like them!” after the dinner, and she immediately made eye contact with Travis and they both shook their heads. She knows Beau has to go along with it for Caleb’s sake for now, but she & Fjord are pretty sus of Trent’s proteges.

Beau is less concerned about Artagan’s relationship to Jester because “he showed his ass--she’s less worried about Jester now because a little of the magic is gone.” It’s a little like becoming an adult and realizing your parents are also just adults & human. Caduceus wasn’t suspicious of the Traveler for a long time until they got to the island. Aside: Taliesin loves the pantheon in D&D. “The notion of attempting to apply common Western conceptions of religion to a world where you have a pantheon of interventionist gods as baseline makes no sense to me. Everyone admits that every other god is there and doing shit; it has more in common with ancient Rome than anything else.” Now that he knows it was a con, he feels the wind had been taken out of it. He does have a sense that Jester’s gotten back together with an ex: “I hope that I’m really happy for you.” They’re both interested to see how Jester navigates the new relationship.

My internet goes out, of course. I panic for a second, thinking I’ve lost everything above, but all is well! Thanks, Form History Control addon!

Marisha loved punching Artagan, but regretting rolling so poorly. “I miss violence.” Dani lets us know it’s been about four episodes since the last battle.

There’s no way the Cobalt Reserve doesn’t have a single document on the Eyes of Nine. Beau believes “there are no real secrets” because people are just bad at not writing things down. For there to be no information at all seems really suspicious for her.

Fanart of the Week: @oddalchemist on twitter with some awesome Beau conspiracy red-thread boards overlaid a distant shadowy Molly walking away.

Caduceus feels a little guilty for really enjoying his time right now with the M9 and not wanting to go home. He’s starting to suspect that he’s going to go home very different than when he left. “He has the softest problems. I don’t know if I want to move back in with Mom & Dad.”

Beau is trying to get comfortable with the idea of being happy. Jester is probably Beau’s first real best friend & one of the first healthy female friendships she’s ever had. As long as she still has Jester in her life, she doesn’t care. For Yasha... “At the end of the day, Beau is a lonely person and has always been a lonely person. And I think you kinda reach this point where once you’re not lonely anymore, you can kind of come out of the fog and realize that was horrible! And terrifying! And is even more terrifying now that I know what I could have, and I don’t want to go back to that. At the end of the day Beau doesn’t want to be lonely anymore. There’s always been that flirtation with Yasha, but everyone had to figure their own shit out. And now it feels like it’s coming out a little bit of that haze, maybe this actually could be...” There are a lot of ways they complement each other & are good-different from each other. Marisha believes people can be attracted to more than person at once.

Caduceus doesn’t think nature turned against him on Rumblecusp, it was just a reality of nature being dangerous and violent. “He has a complex relationship with nature.” He doesn’t expect special treatment.

Thoughts on the mansion: “Man, it’s nice to be seen.” Marisha: “I don’t know how I ended up becoming the Scanlan of this campaign, but I’m living for it.” It felt like an echo of “I’m better for having known you.” They compare Marisha taking specific notes on the campaign to Liam taking specific notes on people’s favorite tapestries, comics, etc.

They talk about missing theme parks and daydream a park version of the mansion in CritRoleLand. It’s lovely.

Taliesin never expected Divine Intervention to work; he just wanted to roll some dice. He’s still processing what he saw/heard. They all agree it was very useful in the Vokodo fight.

Vilya! Marisha: “Ah! Ah! Ah!” As a player, Marisha was so deep in Beau’s eyes she didn’t pick up it was Vilya at first (especially since Matt really emphasized they should not be looking for C1 NPCs). Marisha’s brain melted. She bawled her eyes out on the ride home after that episode. Right after it ended, Laura told Marisha “Keyleth finally gets her happy ending,” and it makes Marisha emotional again since Keyleth’s story ended so bittersweetly. She talks about the very real feelings of “just wanting them to be happy, though!” She went back and listened to all her old Keyleth playlists. Everyone was teary after the episode. “Everyone has these 100% real memories of being these characters and having these good times.”

And that’s that for that! Thanks for your patience, all, and is it Thursday yet?

[theliberaltony]

via Politics – FiveThirtyEight

At a campaign event in southeastern Iowa in December, a graduate student named Charlotte Moser was waiting to ask Sen. Elizabeth Warren a question. As we sat and talked in a crowded union hall before the event began, Charlotte told me she felt a little guilty that it wasn’t about Warren’s plans or policies. But what she really wanted to know, she said, was how Warren coped with sexism on the campaign trail. “She’s faced a lot of that recently — being called elitist and unlikable and angry,” she said.

The previous day, a similar version of Charlotte’s question had cropped up at another town hall, when a middle-aged woman named Kris stood and asked Warren why “so many Americans would rather see a man with a tie” in the Oval Office. And the candidate got another twist on the same query a few hours after I talked to Charlotte, at another event in a neighboring town overlooking the Mississippi River. This time, it was from a reporter in a scrum who wanted to know why Warren thought sexism was such a preoccupation for the voters who had come hear her speak.

In both cases, Warren had an answer that amounted to this: It shouldn’t be. “I think a lot of the world changed after 2016,” she told Kris, going on to describe the flood of women’s protests in the days after President Trump’s inauguration and the wave of women elected to state legislatures and Congress in 2017 and 2018. “And I think in 2020, women are stepping up, friends of women are stepping up, and this is when we’re going to make it happen.”

It was a practiced response to a question that can turn into a trap for female candidates, even when it’s asked with the best of intentions. During the Democratic debate last week, Warren disputed on national television what she says Sen. Bernie Sanders told her in a private meeting in 2018: A woman couldn’t defeat Trump. Sanders denies ever saying this, but when asked about the exchange by a moderator, Warren used it as a moment to attack doubts about women’s electability. “Look at the men on this stage: Collectively, they have lost 10 elections,” she said. “The only people on this stage who have won every single election that they’ve been in are the women.”

Studies do show that when female candidates run for Congress, they win at about the same rate as men. That doesn’t mean the playing field is level — the women who win are generally more qualified than their male counterparts, and perhaps held to a higher standard by voters — but what often gets lost in the debate over electability is just how adept women are at responding to sexism in politics, whether it’s from their opponents, voters or the media. Still, it’s hard to know what will reassure voters whose fears mostly seem to be grounded in one specific election, and one specific candidate — 2016 and Donald Trump.

That tension is something I’ve been rolling around in my head ever since I got back from Iowa, because it’s hard to figure out how gender is shaping a race while it’s unfolding. What I saw in Iowa was far from an overwhelming consensus that Warren was doomed to fail. Nor was it especially reminiscent of the “you go girl!” excitement of the 2016 election. Instead, voters were grappling with a conundrum that felt very familiar to me: How do you acknowledge the reality of the challenges that women face without going too far and contributing to the forces that keep them from winning?

On the one hand, there’s evidence that in the last few years, voters are increasingly likely to identify gender discrimination as a major reason women are not elected to top positions. And people who study gender and politics still argue that voters’ biases remain a real barrier for women who run for office. But those factors don’t necessarily determine the fate of Warren or any other female candidates. Women win elections all the time. And there is a clear risk that if these doubts are given too much weight, concerns around a female candidate’s electability will become a self-defeating cycle where even the people who are most excited about the prospect of a female president are too afraid to vote for one.

On the campaign trail, Warren brings up her gender in subtle ways, like when she was fired from her job as a teacher after getting pregnant. But she still frequently gets questions from voters and reporters about how she navigates sexism in politics.

Spencer Platt / Getty Images

“I thought Hillary would be our first woman president. I wanted her to be,” said Chris Moore, 70, at a town hall in a brightly lit school gymnasium as snow started to fall outside. It wasn’t her first time seeing Warren speak, and she told me that of all the Democratic candidates, she thought Warren would probably make the best president. “I guess the question is, is she electable?”

I asked Moore what she thought might harm Warren’s chances. “I hope being a woman isn’t a negative,” she said. “But it could be an issue for some people — maybe not for Democrats, but we need to attract independents in order to win.”

This was something weighing on many of the voters I spoke with. When the conversation touched on Warren’s gender, it seemed difficult for them to not at least briefly contemplate a future in which another woman went up against Trump and lost. Part of the trouble may be that while men’s failed presidential runs have become routine, Hillary Clinton’s loss was entirely novel and therefore harder for voters to move past. But some also recognized their own role in that process, and said they’re trying to resist the temptation to look to the past for clues about which candidate to support.

“Look, I get that people are afraid about what happens if Trump wins again — we’ve got to beat him,” said Matt Falduto, 48, who had brought his daughters to a Warren town hall on a chilly Sunday morning. “But you can’t let those fears make you second-guess your instincts about which candidate is the best.”

Few of the voters I talked to in December had fully committed to a candidate, and a month later, the race in Iowa still looks like a free-for-all. And as I moved through bunting-adorned elementary schools and knelt next to voters on the floor of a sandwich shop turned rally space, it was clear that anxiety about sexism was only one part of the equation. For some, Warren was too liberal; others thought she wasn’t liberal enough. I heard worries about whether she’d be able to connect with voters of color or people who were less educated. But this year’s election also seemed to be a reckoning of sorts for many voters who were struggling with how to wrap their heads around the reality of sexism in politics and figure out what — if anything — it should mean for their vote.

On the campaign trail, Warren doesn’t talk much about what it would mean to be the first female president. Instead, she brings up her gender in subtler ways, like when she talks about being fired from her job as a teacher when she got pregnant. Her affect is folksy and down-to-earth — she jokes about her snap decision to go to law school but delicately skirts her decades as a professor at Harvard Law School. When I saw her in Iowa, she was in the midst of an attempt to pivot away from the health care debate she’d found herself mired in and back to the bread and butter of her candidacy: her pitch to voters that economic populism and an anti-corruption agenda are what’s needed to beat Trump in 2020.

In some ways, being a woman could help her make that pitch. Research has shown that elected women are generally perceived to be more honest than their male counterparts, which could give Warren’s anti-corruption message extra heft. And there are other reasons to think that Warren should be more appealing to primary voters than her rivals at the top of the field, who are white, male and either gunning to be the first octogenarian president or the youngest to ever be elected.

An NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll conducted in November found that 83 percent of Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents say they would be enthusiastic about voting for a female candidate — substantially higher than any other type of candidate mentioned in the poll, including someone under 40 (62 percent), a white man (53 percent), and someone over 70 (31 percent). In surveys conducted recently, Democrats say they favor female candidates over male candidates, all else being equal.

Democrats are enthusiastic about a woman candidate

Responses to a November 2019 NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist poll of Democrats asking whether they would be enthusiastic about candidates with the following qualities

Type Percent A woman 83%

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Someone who is gay or lesbian 69

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Someone under 40 62

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A white man 53

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A socialist 37

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A business executive 34

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Someone over 70 31

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From a survey of 453 Democrats and Democratic-leaning independents conducted Nov. 11 to Nov. 15, 2019.

Source: NPR/PBS NewsHour/Marist

But there are also signs that in the aftermath of the 2016 election, voters are more cynical about women’s chances in the presidential arena — and especially against Trump. Surveys of Democratic voters by the left-leaning group Avalanche Strategy, for instance, have found that Warren is most popular when respondents are given the ability to pick a presidential candidate without having to worry whether they’ll beat Trump. In follow-up interviews, many of those would-be Warren supporters said the negative impact of gender was a big part of their calculus. Other polls have found that while most Democrats say they are comfortable with a female president, they think their friends and neighbors might be more reluctant to support a woman.

It’s not clear that these fears are entirely baseless. A survey conducted by The New York Times in October found, for instance, that Warren performed worse than Sanders or Biden in head-to-head matchups against Trump in key battleground states — a pattern that can also be seen in head-to-head national polls. Admittedly, Warren’s liberal views are a confounding factor. In that New York Times survey, 52 percent of voters who said they’d vote for Biden but not Warren in a matchup against Trump (Sanders wasn’t part of the equation) said it was because she’s too far to the left. But 41 percent also agreed with the statement that women who run for president “just aren’t that likable.” Those groups represent only a fraction of the electorate.1 But in a close election, they could make a difference.

Democrats think others wouldn’t support a female president

Responses to October 2019 Morning Consult/Politico poll of Democrats answering “Yes, definitely” to the following questions

Question Percent Do you think you are ready for a female president? 71%

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Do you think America is ready for a female president? 57

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Do you think your neighbors are ready for a female president? 31

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From an online survey of 736 Democrats conducted Oct. 25 to Oct. 28, 2019.

Source: Morning Consult/Politico

Whether it’s helpful to dwell on these fears or emphasize the barriers female presidential candidates face is up for debate, even among the people who spend their lives studying gender and politics. After I got back from Iowa, I called Kathleen Dolan, a political science professor at the University of Wisconsin-Milwaukee, to get her take on how much gender bias really seemed to be hurting Warren. She told me she found the media’s focus on it exasperating. “I would give my eye teeth for a process where no reporter asks questions about what it’s like to be a woman in politics, how they deal with sexism, whether a woman can win,” she said. “Then we’d have a genuine sense of whether voters are actually worried about this.”

But other researchers have argued that sexism is probably hurting Warren and the other female candidates. Dan Cassino, a political science professor at Fairleigh Dickinson University, concluded from a recent survey experiment that sexist views are fairly widespread among voters — particularly male voters — and many of those voters are less motivated to support a female candidate. “Eventually, we will get to a point where enough women have run for president that it’s entirely unremarkable,” he said. “But we’re not at that point yet, and I think the Democrats will probably lose some votes if they nominate a woman.” I asked Cassino how much of a difference it could make, compared to other factors that voters care about like age, ideology or political experience. “Could those lost votes be offset by a million other factors?” he said. “Absolutely. If it’s a choice between a worse male candidate and a better female candidate, you still want the woman. But it’s a calculation.”

The trouble is that weighing those trade-offs is hard to do in hindsight, and nearly impossible to do in real time. Case in point: Nearly four years later, political scientists are still trying to figure out exactly how much of an impact sexism had in the 2016 election. The consensus among most of the experts I’ve spoken with is that sexism does seem to have moderately helped Trump and hurt Clinton — but seeing the attacks on Clinton may also have galvanized some of her supporters. And all of this might not tell us much about how a different woman, with different policies, in a different year, would fare.

Warren speaking at a town hall event in Des Moines, Iowa, just days after the January debate.

Spencer Platt / Getty Images

In Iowa, some of Warren’s supporters told me they were trying to resist the urge to compare this year’s crop of female candidates to Clinton. “I really hope people don’t assume that all women who run for office are kind of cut from the same cloth,” said Robin Flattery, 31. It would be a mistake, Flattery added, to allow Warren’s gender to obscure the aspects of her biography and candidacy that are very different from Clinton’s — her working-class roots, her unapologetic progressivism or the fact that she hasn’t weathered decades of scandal and controversy.

There is one inescapable similarity between 2016 and 2020, though: the Republican opponent. And while the research doesn’t suggest that a majority of American voters simply won’t accept the idea of a female president — the fact that Clinton won nearly three million more votes than Trump is pretty good evidence to the contrary — it’s not hard to understand why some voters are worried about another woman going up against Trump. “I think the conversation would be different if the Democrats weren’t facing the prospect of a scorched-earth campaign by a president who’s willing to use sexism and what had previously been socially unacceptable language and attacks against a woman,” said Danny Hayes, a political science professor at George Washington University.

As Warren is fond of pointing out, of course, the world has changed since 2016. The Women’s March happened; the #MeToo movement happened; a historic number of women ran for office and won in 2018. The problem is that it’s not clear how much those changes help her. There was never much reason to believe that female voters would coalesce around Warren simply because she was a woman. Plus, a general electorate may be less inclined to get behind Warren’s particular brand of liberal politics.

So it’s worth thinking about the lessons we’ll take from Warren’s candidacy, not only if she wins the Democratic nomination — but also if she loses. The risks in failing to confront sexism in politics may seem obvious. And if nothing else, the spat between Warren and Sanders brought the issue into plain view, perhaps forcing more voters to grapple with it as the Iowa caucuses draw closer. But there’s also a danger, Dolan said, in taking for granted that it’s a decisive factor, particularly as women running for president becomes more routine. “Yes, we need to call out sexism when we see it,” she said. “But we also need to avoid the assumption that when a woman fails, it’s because she���s a woman.”