#i try and i try but i can never conquer my fear of communication

[zapvendo]

.

[thepunkmuppet]

the possible future of the hatchetfield series: hatchetfield halloween party livestream full rundown

again apologies if someone has already done something like this, but I’m procrastinating doing my coursework and just want to talk about hatchetfield I want everyone to be aware of this exciting stuff that was announced in the stream so here you go:

the next starkid musical to be released will not be in the hatchetfield universe.

the guy who didn’t like musicals will soon be ready to license.

nightmare time 3 was originally planned to be released in the same year as nightmare time 2 and will wrap up the overarching nightmare time stories (which seem to be miss holloway and the foster sisters respectively).

if they did a fourth hatchetfield musical, it would be about miss holloway and her backstory. it is already written. I am very very extremely normal about this fact 😃

there is a possibility of a hatchetfield movie, and workin’ boys was sort of a test for this concept. it would be a slasher murder mystery centering around the hatchetfield community players (zoey chambers and the cast of workin’ girls, possibly also with ruth, hidgens, alice and any other theatre-oriented characters but that part’s just my speculation). the transcription of the teaser description can be found below the nmt descriptions.

ok so here are the transcriptions of the nmt3 episode descriptions:

Story #1: Bottle Imps

Bill Woodward has been chosen to test CCRP’s latest and greatest product; Bottle Imps. These reality-bending buddies will bring their owner the one thing they desire most. When his new imp, Lovely, leads him to his soulmate, Bill decides to use his magical companion to play matchmaker. But to help Charlotte find the man of her dreams, Bill will have to bend the Imp’s rules. Rules he’s been warned, must never be broken…

Story #2: Frankenruth

Desperate to see a naked body, Ruth Fleming and Richie Lipschitz volunteer at the morgue of St. Damien’s Hospital. Their terrible plan becomes exponentially more terrible, when they become unwitting subjects in the experiments of the body-snatching madman, Doctor Laszlo, who claims to have conquered death itself. If Hatchetfield thought Ruth was bad before, then they will cower before the unspeakable horror of… Frankenruth!

Story #3: Becky Barnes Climbed a Tree

Becky Barnes is on top of the world! Not in a literal sense, of course. She’s deathly afraid of heights. After years of struggle, Becky’s life is finally everything she dreamed it would be. She’s engaged to her high school sweetheart, Tom Houston, and the two have a surprise baby on the way! But, as the couple prepare for the arrival of baby Marie, a shadow from Becky’s past returns to haunt them.

Story #4: Devil’s Night

Tim Houston has a crush. Unfortunately, it’s on his older, mature and totally cool babysitter, Grace Chasity, who he fears will never see him as anything but a snot-nosed little kid. But when a devilish maniac with murderous designs on Grace attacks Hatchetfield the night before Halloween, Tim must protect his beloved, or join the killer’s growing body count. It’s another slashing adventure on the night HE came home… Devil’s Night.

Story #5: (long special episode) Miss Holloween

It’s Halloween in Hatchetfield once again, and Miss Holloway is celebrating the same way she’s done for decades, staving off the horrors that go bump in the night. But when Duke gives her an invitation to his wedding, the dejected Miss Holloway begins to chafe under the terms of a contract forged many years ago. She strikes a new bargain, but unfortunately her creditors are known for their tricks, not treats. Just as Miss Holloway gives up her powers in exchange for a mortal life, a monstrous new threat rears its ugly head. As All Hallows Eve descends, and all Hell breaks loose, Miss Holloway must save the town or die trying… for real this time.

Story #6: (long special episode / season finale) Orb Weaver

Lex Foster had a life once. A home. A boyfriend. Now there is only the road, and her sister, and the fear of the men who are hunting them. As Hannah Foster watched Lex sink deeper into despair, she is certain of only three things: Webby is gone. She cannot help them. They are alone. Elsewhere, an old soldier awakens from a catatonic state. Returned from some unimaginable Hell with a mission. He knows that somewhere, two magical girls require immediate evac… then maybe some coffee.

very important: if you want nightmare time 3, WATCH NIGHTMARE TIME 2. BUY A TICKET TO THE LIVESTREAM. SHOW THAT THERE IS LOVE AND DEMAND AND IT’S WORTH THEIR TIME AND MONEY I AM BEGGING YOU

hatchetfield movie: Cast Party Massacre

The Hatchetfield Community Players. You will never find a cattier troupe of two-faced thespians. But when the blood begins to flow at their latest show’s cast party, they must consider: is there a secret murderer in their midst? And more importantly, who amongst them is a good enough actor to pull off such a performance? Can they set aside their petty squabbles and tangled romances, or is it curtains for this ensemble? Who will survive… the Cast Party Massacre!

[aestherians]

Change and Loss

Word count: 1362

Expected reading time: 10-11 minutes

"If your otherkinity still serves you, it will never really leave you," is what I used to say - more as a reassurance than a statement of fact. I mean, how could I know for a fact that it was true? I didn't have any experience with losing a kintype. I still don't think I do; not really. And I always saw the idea repeated in the community - one time otherkind, always otherkind.

But I don't believe that's true anymore. I'm still a bison for sure. I've never doubted that. I'm still Ɐwhrayɐ the gnoll and I'm still Ben the shapeshifter… but I'm beginning to accept that those sides of me have changed.

"One time otherkin, always otherkin. If your otherkinity still serves you, it will never really leave you"… but what if that's not true? What if you still benefit from your kintypes, and they disappear regardless? What do you do if you lose a part of yourself, or if a part of yourself becomes unrecognizable to you? How do you keep living when you've lost yourself?

Sometime in 2023 the distress of always having to hide my true self became too much to bear alone. But I'm not a brave person. I think the better solution would've been to just bite the bullet and start expressing myself, but hindsight is 20/20. I've survived 25 years by hiding everything that makes me 'weird', and the idea of leaving my one dependable survival strategy behind was (is) terrifying. I went to a free self-help seminar ("Take control of your life!") but all it taught me is that I need a dependable support network before I can take control of my life. I went to my doctor to try and get a referral for a therapist (it's cheaper than just finding your own therapist). Instead he sent me to a psychiatrist for my 'delusions'. The psychiatrist told me my experiences, worldview, and self-perception were unusual but not harmful - they could only help if my goal was to get rid of my schizotypal traits (traits that weren't even significant enough to warrant a diagnosis). If all I wanted was to learn how to conquer my fears and express my true self, they couldn't help. It took months of visits to get the diagnosis: Traumatized by peer abuse, too poor to afford my own therapy, and too anxious and ADHD to even find a therapist in the first place.

I can't even say I was left at square one. I had started out hopeful. Nearing the end of 2023, I just felt helpless.

At the same time, my studies were drawing to a close. I completed my bachelor's degree in animal science and all it took was a diagnosis of ADHD so I could legally buy amphetamines, a compound-diagnosis of autism so I wouldn't get kicked out when I inevitably misunderstood exam questions and failed final after final, and 5½ years - almost twice the expected time for a bachelor's degree in my country.

It should've been freeing but instead it left me directionless. Helpless and directionless - that's how I entered 2024!

In the past, in the strictly structured day-to-day of school, my kintypes have been a source of comfort. Especially my Ben fictotype, which probably fell into the category of coping mechanism. I awakened in a time of intense stress and retreated to that world whenever my present life got too much. When crowds got me overstimulated or I missed an important deadline or fought with my neighbors or drifted apart from old friends, I thought about all the times Ben!me had gone through similar or worse. I cut off a friend in my present life after finding out he'd abused his ex - but in my other life I'd cut off a friend who tried to murder me, and things still turned out fine. I lived through it. I could live through it again. Every situation had a parallel in my other life.

I still don't know why that method failed me, but eventually it did. It's not that it didn't work, it was more that I suddenly had to put an effort into making it work. As if I'd always been able to enter Narnia and now suddenly I had to personally petition Aslan to let me back in. It started in the fall of 2023 but it wasn't until spring 2024 that I fully realized. Coping had never been an effort before, and the worst part is, I don't even know why it suddenly was.

My fictotype was drifting away, even when it still served me! This wasn't supposed to happen! Had I been lied to?!

I think our community has a lot of survivorship bias. Whichever mailing lists and newsgroups get archived, and whatever snailmail gets published, that's what our history is based on. The people who made archivable geocities sites get to write our story - not the people on closed forums or in private chat groups. People who leave the community don't tend to leave behind pristine essays on their fully archived websites explaining why they left. It does happen, don't get me wrong, but it's rare. And when they do leave behind messages, it's usually some variant of "I still love the community that fostered my awakening, I'm just an adult with responsibilities now and I don't have time for this."

But what about the people who don't love the community? Who 'unawakened'? Who aren't passionate enough to leave behind a final message? Do we ever hear from the otherkind who 'fizzled out' and became human - or at least lost a kintype?

You can understand my panic, right? I considered turning my fictotype into a copinglink, but my ADHD is so debilitating I barely remember to brush my teeth - no way I was gonna remember to do daily reinforcement exercises. Especially frazzled 2024 me (still frazzled as of June but I'm hanging in there!).

I was forced to accept whatever my come.

I'm still Ben, on some level, but I won't say "I'm thankfully still Ben," 'cause is it really that bad to not be Ben? Even if that facet had served me well and could still serve me? $1,000,000 could serve me well, but uselessly pining after it doesn't serve me.

I didn't prepare myself for loss because I really wasn't sure I was gonna lose a part of me - and, in any case, grieving preemptively is a waste of energy if you ask me. Instead a turned to the Bison - not my own bison theriotype, but the archetype of the Bison. When one woowoo solution fails, why not try another?

The Bison has always been a good teacher to me - better than any self-help seminar or psychiatrist. The Bison takes everything in stride. The Bison survives until it can thrive. The Bison ruminates on the present, it doesn't ponder the future. The Bison doesn't grieve or fret unnecessarily. It exists in the now. I exist in the now.

Of course, the chance that anyone reading this works with the Bison spirit is slim, but I think its teachings can help everyone - regardless of spirituality.

When turning to other worlds doesn't aid you, accept it, and turn to the present world. Let your worries pass through you, you can't see clearly when you're pent up with worry. You can't prevent the seasons from turning, all you can do is turn with them. Accept your lack of control, instead of trying to grasp at the uncontrollable. Sometimes change is unexpected, and you may not like it, and it might not even open up new doors for you. Not all change is good. But you cannot prevent every unwanted change, and you have to keep living regardless.

My fictionkinity doesn't have the intensity of my first few years post-awakening, but it also doesn't have the casual reassuredness of decade-old kintypes. It comes and goes, and when it comes it's like a whisper. And one day it might become too quiet for me to notice. One day it might not return.

But I think I can live with that.

[sirianasims]

What is your single best piece of writing advice?

Ouch, starting 2024 out swinging there 😂

My best writing advice that is actually my own is:

Only Story

This is the phrase I keep saying to my writer friend to the point where I may get a tattoo of it some day, and the one that guides me home when I get lost.

Only Story is a way to focus my ADHD ass on what is important and keep writing.

Only Story means focus on storytelling. To me, at least, the narrative is the core. Humans are natural storytellers, it’s how we communicate. Style, language, writing skill and so on are important, but secondary. Don’t worry too much about it. Just tell your story and the rest will follow. You will get better at telling stories over time, and then you can eventually trust fall into it.

Only Story helps me pull back from obsessing over or endlessly adding irrelevant details. Strip away anything that doesn’t serve the story. This doesn’t mean that you can never add things unless they advance the plot or develop a character, but it helps to reduce clutter. By all means, add that superfluous side plot if you want to, but make it a conscious decision. 

Only Story is how I get back to writing whenever I start second-guessing myself and worry too much about whether I'm good enough, whether I can even call myself a writer, whether anyone will ever care. It helps me reaffirm my purpose - to tell the story. I don't write to get followers or likes, although feedback is always hugely appreciated, but I write because I have stories to tell.

Only Story also reminds me to keep writing, because that is the only way I'll become a better writer. Every time I write a story, I get better at writing a story. The story may not be perfect, but it will be a story. And so will the next one.

Go write it.

You said single, but I am all about handing out bonus content so you get this as well; Dan Harmon's take on writer's block from an AMA on Reddit.

My best advice about writer's block is: the reason you're having a hard time writing is because of a conflict between the GOAL of writing well and the FEAR of writing badly. By default, our instinct is to conquer the fear, but our feelings are much, much, less within our control than the goals we set, and since it's the conflict BETWEEN the two forces blocking you, if you simply change your goal from "writing well" to "writing badly," you will be a veritable fucking fountain of material, because guess what, man, we don't like to admit it, because we're raised to think lack of confidence is synonymous with paralysis, but, let's just be honest with ourselves and each other: we can only hope to be good writers. We can only ever hope and wish that will ever happen, that's a bird in the bush. The one in the hand is: we suck. We are terrified we suck, and that terror is oppressive and pervasive because we can VERY WELL see the possibility that we suck. We are well acquainted with it. We know how we suck like the backs of our shitty, untalented hands. We could write a fucking book on how bad a book would be if we just wrote one instead of sitting at a desk scratching our dumb heads trying to figure out how, by some miracle, the next thing we type is going to be brilliant. It isn't going to be brilliant. You stink. Prove it. It will go faster. And then, after you write something incredibly shitty in about six hours, it's no problem making it better in passes, because in addition to being absolutely untalented, you are also a mean, petty CRITIC. You know how you suck and you know how everything sucks and when you see something that sucks, you know exactly how to fix it, because you're an asshole. So that is my advice about getting unblocked. Switch from team "I will one day write something good" to team "I have no choice but to write a piece of shit" and then take off your "bad writer" hat and replace it with a "petty critic" hat and go to town on that poor hack's draft and that's your second draft. Fifteen drafts later, or whenever someone paying you starts yelling at you, who knows, maybe the piece of shit will be good enough or maybe everyone in the world will turn out to be so hopelessly stupid that they think bad things are good and in any case, you get to spend so much less time at a keyboard[...] Happy hunting and pecking!

[varshnarsh]

tips to get through something scary?

i’ve adopted a few different ways of thinking as of recently; they come in the form of one-liners: we have not got long to love so why wait + we must keep going and heal despite it all.

when people encounter something that frightens them, the hypothalamus in your brain reacts by releasing a series of chemicals to the sympathetic nervous system and the adrenal-cortical system. in the sympathetic nervous system, signals are sent out to release stress hormones. the adrenal-cortical system is also secreting hormones to other parts of the body, which instigates changes in your heart rate, immune + digestive system, etc. these send your body into high gear, activating your fight vs flight vs freeze. here, your nervous system can either shut down or you can regulate it and let it come back to equilibrium.

in november, i experienced the scariest thing that has ever happened to me. since then, i’ve been dealing face to face with fear in several instances (though nothing has been worse than that specific instance) and have come to the conclusion that you will never escape fear of any degree. it’s not something to be conquered. you’ll be afraid of one thing, get through it, move on, heal, and then you’ll get this pitted feeling in your stomach and realize you’re now afraid of something else. you will first have to accept that you are not against fear; fear is just trying to protect you and keep you safe from previously triggered feelings. moving against the current pushes you back with more force right? so move with it. a few practices that help me:

in therapy, i have brain-spotting (a form of therapy) sessions that actively focus on the fight vs flight process and works backwards to reframe how you process it in the present moment rather than afterwords. it helps with decreasing the chances of me intellectualizing the fear and actually facing it.

which leads to, if i am scared, whatever i am doing, i do it scared. whether it takes baby steps or leaps, i will be scared and open to every possible outcome, because 1. i have faced what i believed to be the scariest thing and i am okay now 2. we have not got long to love, so let me love myself and my fear and continue despite. if i am not okay afterwards, i will receive myself with grace and care. there will be things happening all the time, so we must keep going.

set aside 15 minutes of your day, put a timer on your phone, call it your worry/fear period. write down all your worries, scribble, journal, brain dump. cry about your fears, feel it HEAVILY, for those 15 minutes. put on a sad song, put on a song that makes you scared or feel a lot, and let yourself feel as uncomfortable as humanly possible. when the timer ends, take a few deep breaths. reset. you're okay. you felt it. you didn't think about anything else, you didn't try and find a solution, you just sat there and felt it. wholly.

if it's something you can manage, call up a friend or someone you love and talk it through with them. keep them on the phone while you do the said scary thing. you don't have to be alone. we are built for community. allow that love. the water from these interactions that will fall into your soil will help your trees grow.

sink into nature. this sounds odd, but it's something that's helped me before. i will take a walk with my dog or work out or meditate outside. body movement increases brain-derived neurotrophic factors known as BDNF which enhances cognition by boosting a neuron’s ability to communicate with other neurons. it also stimulates the production of brain chemicals norepinephrine and dopamine, which energize and elevate mood and can help bring clarity. this isn't a end-all, be all solution but a clearer mood can help stabilize the anxiety that derives from fear.

[bumblebybelladonna]

Violence was working tho? Like, Blake soecifically said the violence was working

I’m not saying blow up schools like Adam did, but robbing the SDC and putting pressure on bigoted organization? Fighting back against a lynch mob trying to kill you? That’s far more reasonable,

And if you want to look at real life, often times more violent alternatives are required alongside the nonviolent protests to achieve change, just look at stonewall,

I mean hell we don’t vilify Robyn hill,for robbing the atlas military do we? So is it only ok if humans do it?

The problem is that the violence used by Adam, besides not being "for defense," was for the pleasure of seeing others suffering and afraid of him. I am also not saying that Ghira was never aggressive, he had to be to defend himself from the attack on the Belladonna Family home, but there is a huge limbo between having to use violence to defend himself and to impose fear If you look at real life, there are plenty of Adams out there being abusive and manipulative, don't go justifying someone's actions like that. And once again, don't compare Robyn to Adam, don't compare anyone to him. Unlike him, Robyn didn't go around killing whoever was in front of her (besides the fact that the military atlas was wrong, James was another madman, we saw that he went crazy and only wanted to save himself). Your other ask: "And as an addition to my last ask, the fact the show acts like ghirah was in the right for refusing to fight back against a lynch mob is PART OF THE PROBLEM!!!!

It’s great that ghira is “helping humanity” but that doesn’t mean shit to the fuanus getting killed and maimed in dust mines, being killed by groups of humans like the ones in the Adam trailer, or being denied life saving services from places like that clinic on mantle that we expressly see a “no Faunus” sign in front of!" The show urgently needs to improve this whole issue of the white fang, the faunus and the problems they face, but i still don't think adam's actions at any point are justifiable, that's my opinion. ghira making deals and helping humanity is not really going to help anything about the faunus? oh man If using violence was really the answer, adam would have conquered remnant If you think justice and equality happen quickly, please wake up. We still have women, blm, the lgbtqi+ community and other groups fighting for their rights, and these struggles are represented in the show by the fauns' fight, the fight against prejudice and discrimination Finally, I do not see adam as someone who helped the organization in any way, if you see it, fine, it is up to you... and I will not answer any more questions about adam in relation to this, can talk to me by dm, it does not have to be anonymous!!

[buckybringsviolets]

I've Got You

Bucky x Female Reader

500+ words

For anon, if this is not what you were asking for, please don't hesitate to ask for a redo!

Request ~ hello! ive never used this button on this app before so forgive me if its a bit confusing! - i saw that you were doing letters from bucky? and i was wondering if i could ask for one? " my preferred pronouns are she/her and if its at all possible can you do CW bucky? as for specifics: can it be comfort and reassurance for issues with anxiety? thanks so much !! have a great day

This takes place when Bucky was hiding out in Romania, right before the action in Captain America: Civil War

   Doll,

   I’m just running out to grab a few things. When you get this, before you do anything else, PLEASE make sure to latch the locks that I couldn’t. I checked the windows before leaving so you’re all set there. Make sure the volume on the radio is down, I know you love to jack it up, but darlin’, please don’t! And remember, I love you, and don’t be scared. 

      I’m so fucking sorry I dragged you into the mess that is my life, I hate you have to live like this, I do. I should have turned away the minute I laid eyes on you. Jesus, sweetheart, you were so beautiful, standing there, trying your hardest to communicate with the merchant, but struggling. I couldn’t help but smile at you. And you graciously let me help you, quickly inviting me to join you for a coffee. 

  I knew it wasn’t a good idea but I let you in. I told you things I know I shouldn’t have. But how couldn’t I? We are as much alike as we are different, but we fit. Like we were meant to be. And my love for you outweighs my guilt. Unfortunately for you I’m afraid. 

  But now? Now you are suffering. Holed up in this dingy apartment, scrounging for mere scraps to survive. Yet you tell me you’re “fine with it” that “it’s true, love conquers all, Bucky!” And you smile at me, that breathtakingly beautiful smile of yours, hugging me so tightly I feel like I’m back together again. Whole. 

  But I know you have so much on your mind. I mean, who wouldn’t? This kind of life ain’t for the faint of heart, always looking for threats, leaving your old life behind. “It’s okay, Buck!” You tell me. “I was just traipsing around the world, no rhyme or reason to where I was going. And I’ve got no place to go back to, you’re my home now, Buck, and I plan on helping you find your home, wherever that may be.”  But what about you darlin’? 

   I want to take you somewhere nice, warm maybe. Some place that no one can find us, find me. I want to take you somewhere where you won’t have to wake up with anxiety, fears. I know you try to hide it all from me, but I know. I watch you, I see it when you turn from me and that gorgeous smile disappears. I notice the slight tremors in your hands when you're doing some mindless chore, your eyes darting around. I hear your sniffles in the bathroom. But you always deny it when I confront you with it, “I’m fine Bucky, honest!” 

  When I get home tonight I’m going to treat you to something special, promise. I’m not tellin’ you what, but I will say it will involve lots of blankets and cuddles. And I want you to know that I will do anything to make you feel safe, to make that anxiety you’re feeling go as far away as I can fucking toss it. It’s gonna be okay, it’s going to. Because, sweetheart, I believe we can overcome anything. Together. 

Love you with every fiber of my messed up self

Bucky

[pinkpastels113]

hey :)) could you maybe do #57 from the '101 ways to say i love you with actions'-promts? only if you're up for it!!!

btw i LOVE your stories. thank you for sharing them <33

i had to dig for the list lmao it’s been a while since i’ve reblogged it. thank you for the kind words anon! they made my heart happy <33

101 ways to say i love you

57. Making sure that they aren't alone when you know they need someone.

Chloe hates to admit it, but she is afraid of the water. As in, can’t go to the aquarium, can’t wash her face without looking in the mirror or past her shoulder every few seconds, never shower with her eyes closed, kinda thing.

Naturally that means she can’t swim. Now obviously there were people who sought to teach her, her parents, her friends’ parents, heck even the little kid down the street from her hometown when he saw her standing at the edge of the community pool in her swimsuit one summer looking terrifyingly at the water, but that didn’t mean she took their advice, or help.

She almost drowned as a kid, at the beach. Her cousins had been responsible for taking care of her, but as boys are, they quickly grew bored and decided to paddle away on their own to splash each other with their makeshift water guns. Chloe being four had wanted to join them, only to trip on a bit of kelp on the bottom of the ocean floor and fell face-first in the water.

Twenty years later and she still could not forget the feeling of suffocation the experience brought her. She hated feeling like her lungs were compressed, filled to the brim of something that she can not cough enough out, like she can not take a full breath to sing, let alone call for aid of any kind.

The Bellas know this. Due to a game of truth of dare Chloe revealed her phobia, and everyone had been shocked but surprisingly understanding. Aubrey had been her lifeguard every time they went out on water excursions, making Chloe feel safe.

But now Aubrey is gone and Chloe is left on her own. Her heart rate had started to speed up minutes ago but Chloe hadn’t taken notice of the time seeing as how she was too busy starting at the large body of water that reflected back at her.

Logically she knows that she doesn’t have to go in. She has her sunblock, her book, her glasses and her towel, the perfect combination for an afternoon out sunbathing with a good story.

But, like she was still four years old, everybody is having fun in the pool, and she desired to join. Chloe blinks the dizziness that always accompanied her fear whenever she gave it too much thought out of her eyes and takes a deep breath, expanding her chest generously to let the oxygen in. Out. Repeat.

A figure swims up to the edge of the pool. Chloe feels something flutter in her stomach as she watches Beca climb up the ladder that is attached. They spread to the tips of her toes when her gaze lands on the inflatable circular tube that Beca clutches to her side. It’s pink with tropical palm trees and coconuts all over it and clashes horribly with the dark blue bikini that Beca awkwardly shifts against her body when she finally stops in front of Chloe.

“So- um. I found this inflatable that some kid probably left that I think you would like to… y’know. Come down with us.”

Beca looks shy at her invitation. She keeps on fidgeting with the straps on her shoulders like she needs something to do with her fingers. Her feet taps an undetectable rhythm against the heated scratchy tiles. The sun beats down on them and Chloe has never felt more warm.

God it’s been so long since Chloe recognized the excitement of trying something new, rather than the creeping goosebumps of drowning in the water. Even Aubrey hasn’t been able to elicit this reaction out of her despite being her longest friend. She has only ever encouraged Chloe to feel a sense of calm rather than the exhilaration of conquering her fear to accompany her friends.

Chloe takes a step forwards. It felt brave to take that step. Beca’s face seems to mirror Chloe’s sense of accomplishment. Her pride.

“You gotta stay with me though, Bec. I don’t know how to swim, and I need someone to make sure I am not alone so that I don’t fall under.”

Beca’s grip is gentle and reassuring on the guidance of Chloe’s arm. The first laps of the pool are cool on the descent of Chloe’s legs. She doesn’t let go.

“I will not leave your side when I know you need someone, Chloe.”

[santiagocastillo-blog]

A Reflection of the course!!

I've always been insecure about my English skills. Back in high school, I was very shy when it came to giving speeches or presentations. Taking this course has been a step towards overcoming that fear I've carried since then. While I'm not completely sure I've conquered it yet, it has been a good start in the right direction. I believe that practice is the key to mastering any language, so I invite anyone reading this to start practicing and face their fears head-on. If you never try, you'll never know what you're capable of.

On the other hand, I've also had the opportunity to meet many wonderful people throughout this course who I can now proudly call friends. I think that has been the true jackpot of this semester. Making these connections and forming friendships has been incredibly rewarding and has enriched my overall experience. It's shown me the value of community and collaboration in learning, and I look forward to continuing to grow and learn alongside these newfound friends

[maicofam]

Five Months of Milestones and Meltdowns: Adventures with My Little Dude

It seems impossible that just five months ago, my world shifted on its axis with the arrival of my baby boy. Those blurry, sleep-deprived newborn days feel like a distant memory, replaced with the whirlwind of giggles, gurgles, and the occasional epic meltdown that defines life with a five-month-old.

Looking back, these past months have been a rollercoaster of emotions and experiences. Every gurgle has been a symphony, every gummy grin a masterpiece, and every conquered "tummy time" session a cause for celebration. Witnessing his rapid development has been nothing short of magical. He's gone from a sleepy little potato to a curious explorer, reaching for everything in sight and babbling his own unique language.

Of course, it hasn't all been sunshine and rainbows. Sleep deprivation is still a real thing, and those late-night feeding sessions can test the patience of a saint (or at least this new mama!). There have been tears (mostly mine, but let's be honest, his too!), tantrums (mostly his, but sometimes mine too!), and moments of pure frustration. But even in the midst of the chaos, there's a constant undercurrent of love and wonder.

Here are some of the highlights (and lowlights) from our five-month adventure:

Milestones:

Smiling champion: The first time he flashed me that gummy grin, my heart melted into a puddle. Now, his smiles are contagious, lighting up the room and warming even the grumpiest soul.

Chatterbox in training: From cooing and gurgling to stringing together nonsensical syllables, his communication skills are developing at lightning speed. Who needs words when you have expressive eyebrows and enthusiastic coos?

Meltdowns:

The mystery cry: There have been nights spent deciphering the different cries, trying to soothe a symphony of hunger, fatigue, or simply "needing to be held." The learning curve is steep, but the cuddles make it worthwhile.

FOMO (fear of missing out): As he gets older and more alert, the separation anxiety kicks in. Leaving him, even for a short while, can trigger epic meltdowns, reminding me of the intense bond we share.

Almost five months in, and I'm still learning the ropes of motherhood. It's messy, exhausting, and filled with challenges, but the love, the laughter, and the sheer joy of witnessing his growth make it all worthwhile. To my little dude, you've changed my world in ways I never imagined, and I can't wait to see what adventures the next five months (and beyond) hold.

P.S. If you have any tips for surviving the teething phase or deciphering baby cries, please share them in the comments! We mamas need all the help we can get!

Here are the cute photos of my baby from his first to fourth month. I will update this post on the 11th of February!

[circlecast]

Let Go of the Past to Move Forward, Don't Buffer Your Life Away

What is buffering?

The avoidance of thoughts and emotions

So we have a reason to not try

Why do we buffer?

So we do not have to face the uncomfortable thoughts and emotions we have

Our mind's way of helping us stay small and not be noticed

We like to look to the past for reasons to not go forward.

We let the past hold us back from the success we could have.

Ways we buffer

Phrases

I have never done this before

That is how everyone else has done it before

I have seen this before

The Old days were better

Talking about the past or nostalgia

You won't let go of Grudges

Links Mentioned

36 Questions

Take The Next Step

In episode 211 of The Relaxed Male, we delve into the topic of how the past can hold us back and discuss the concept of buffering. Buffering refers to the act of avoiding thoughts and emotions by distracting ourselves with other activities. Unfortunately, many of these activities are unhealthy habits such as excessive shopping, video games, or pornography. Engaging in buffering behaviors prevents us from facing our problems head-on and hinders our personal growth and progress in life. To move forward, we must overcome our fear of discomfort and embrace new experiences, much like when we were learning to walk or ride a bike. By examining our thoughts and breaking down our problems, we can conquer buffering and achieve our goals. During this part of the podcast, I emphasize the importance of not allowing past experiences to hold us back from trying new things.

To illustrate this point, I share a personal anecdote about learning to ride a bike and how I had to face challenges and make mistakes to eventually succeed. I highlight the significance of understanding our partners' preferences and energy in relationships, using the example of pet names. I stress the need for open communication and adapting our approach to better connect with our partners. Additionally, I discuss the significance of having realistic expectations when rekindling long-term relationships. We all strive for deeper connections with one another. It's not about constantly being at odds, but rather about forging meaningful bonds. For me, this involves focusing on two main pillars: my body and my community, with my wife playing a vital role in the latter. While we spend a significant amount of time together in the same house, it is crucial to intentionally spend quality time together. We have begun asking each other thought-provoking questions from a set of 36 questions designed to strengthen love and understanding.

Reflecting on the past, I used to hold onto resentment towards my wife for rejecting me sexually. However, I have come to realize that sex is not solely about my desires. It takes effort to create a safe and comfortable space for my wife to want to engage in sexual intimacy. I need to appreciate and understand her perspective instead of dwelling on my frustrations. I now understand that relying on past hurts as an excuse to distance myself emotionally is counterproductive. Building a fulfilling physical relationship requires trust, mental insight, and a profound understanding of the person we love. I empathize with young men in today's dating world who may believe that offering sexual pleasure alone will sustain a relationship. Healthy relationships require so much more.

Many men hold the misconception that sex is all they need in life. However, it is much more complex than that. Most men desire a wholesome and fulfilling relationship with their wives, yet many struggle to maintain it. Instead, they choose to buffer by indulging in activities such as watching television, reminiscing, or immersing themselves in pornography and video games. Unfortunately, this buffering behavior prevents them from cultivating deep relationships with their partners and children. Men often cling to grudges that ultimately end up harming themselves rather than the person they resent.

 To live a fulfilling life, men must let go of the past, abandon buffering behaviors, and take intentional steps towards their goals. By doing so, they can cultivate better relationships, create successful businesses, and experience overall happiness. The key is to start making decisions and cease allowing past experiences or the actions of others to hinder our success. Victims never win, but those who take action and move forward do. If you are seeking assistance in achieving your goals, I urge you to reach out for free coaching for a six-month period.

Through this coaching, you can improve your mindset, build strong relationships, discover your passion, and accomplish what you truly desire in life. Contact me for more information, but keep in mind that spots are limited and the offer for free coaching will not last forever. The price will eventually increase, so seize this opportunity now. Thank you for listening, and I wish you a fantastic week. Until next time!

00:00:00 The Past: A Barrier to Success 00:00:43 Introducing The Relax Mail and Helping Men Through Struggles 00:02:58 Appreciating Female Listeners and Their Impact 00:08:29 Childhood bike accidents and bruised crotch memories 00:10:35 Trying something new and making mistakes in relationships 00:18:28 Men are more complicated than just wanting sex and food. 00:20:01 Let go of the past and embrace new possibilities. 00:23:00 Stop looking back and start taking steps forward. 00:25:12 Stop being a victim and start being a doer. 00:28:14 A Slip of the Tongue 00:28:37 Limited Time Offer: 100% Off Coaching Package

Newest podcast episode to change your Mindset

[treadmilltreats]

Growing up in today's world

I am fearful for the world, and I am fearful for the children who are growing up in today's world. There are so many things that should make us all fearful. The rights of women, the ban on books, trying to make our children think slavery was okay, because it taught the slaves a career. We should be afraid that racism is back in full force or that they want the LGBTQ community back in the closet. The world is changing, global warming, which they say doesn't exist, but yet every year, the ice caps are melting, and the natural disasters are getting worse.

We have done this to this planet, and when we are gone, we will leave this mess to our children. I have never heard so many young people say that they don't want to bring children into this world, not that I can blame them. I would have had second thoughts, too, if I grew up in this era.

But being the endless hopeful that I am, I know we still have time to change. It is never too late to change.

Many people say what can I do, I am only one person. It only takes one person to change everything. Rosa Parks was one person. Martin Luther King was one person. We can be that one person. And maybe just maybe if enough "one person" does things, then it becomes a movement.

We are killing our planet, we are killing our world, and we need to take a stand. We must stand up for everyone's rights, not just our own. Good can conquer bad if we all come together.

Every generation has gone through things and said their generation was better than the one before it. But we should want all generations to have a good life.

So today my friends, remember what we do today affects all the generations to come. We need to make a change, and we need to be the change we want to see.

@TreadmillTreats

[watercolorpaintingsworld]

Unlocking Your Inner Watercolor Artist: Strategies to Overcome Creative Blocks and Reignite Your Creativity

As a watercolor artist, you know the joy and peace that comes from immersing yourself in the world of colors and pigments. However, there may be times when you experience a creative block that dampens your artistic spirit. Don't worry, my fellow watercolor enthusiast, for I am here to guide you through the process of unlocking your inner artist and reigniting your creativity. In this article, we will explore strategies specifically tailored for watercolor artists to overcome creative blocks and unleash the full potential of your artistic expression. So, let's dive into the wondrous world of watercolor and discover how to overcome those pesky creative blocks.

Understanding Creative Blocks in Watercolor

Before we delve into the strategies, let's take a moment to understand what creative blocks are and why they happen. A creative block in watercolor refers to a state where an artist experiences a lack of inspiration, motivation, or flow in their watercolor painting process. It can feel frustrating when your brush seems to be at a standstill, and your creativity appears to have dried up like a desert.

Creative blocks in watercolor can be caused by a variety of factors, such as self-doubt, fear of making mistakes, a lack of new ideas, or even feeling overwhelmed by the vast possibilities of the medium. It's important to remember that creative blocks are a normal part of the artistic journey, and every watercolor artist encounters them at some point. The good news is that with the right strategies, you can conquer these blocks and rekindle your creative flame.

Strategies to Overcome Creative Blocks in Watercolor

1. Explore New Techniques and Subjects

One effective way to overcome creative blocks in watercolor is to step out of your comfort zone and explore new techniques and subjects. Experiment with different brush strokes, textures, and washes to challenge yourself and discover new possibilities within the medium. Try painting subjects that are outside of your usual repertoire. If you typically paint landscapes, try still life or portraits. This exploration will help you break free from repetitive patterns and open up new avenues for inspiration and creativity.

Tip: Check out some online watercolor tutorials or attend workshops to learn new techniques and gain fresh perspectives.

2. Keep a Sketchbook and Practice Regularly

Keeping a sketchbook is a powerful tool to overcome creative blocks. Use it to capture your ideas, make quick studies, and experiment with different color combinations. By practicing regularly in your sketchbook, you develop a habit of creating, and ideas will flow more freely. Sketching also allows you to loosen up and paint without the pressure of creating a finished masterpiece. Remember, creativity is a muscle that needs to be exercised, and your sketchbook is the perfect gym for your watercolor skills.

Tip: Carry a small sketchbook with you wherever you go. You never know when inspiration will strike!

3. Seek Inspiration from Nature and Everyday Life

Nature is an abundant source of inspiration for watercolor artists. Take time to observe the beauty of the natural world around you. Study the colors, textures, and lighting in different landscapes and objects. Allow nature's wonders to seep into your artistic consciousness and inspire your watercolor creations. Additionally, find inspiration in everyday life. Pay attention to the mundane and find beauty in the ordinary. Sometimes, the simplest observation can spark a burst of creativity.

Tip: Go for walks in nature, visit botanical gardens, or take field trips to scenic locations to immerse yourself in inspiration.

4. Connect with Other Watercolor Artists

Building connections with fellow watercolor artists can be a great source of motivation and inspiration. Join local art groups, attend watercolor workshops, or participate in online communities to interact with like-minded individuals. Share your work, seek feedback, and engage in constructive discussions. Collaborating with other artists can ignite fresh ideas, offer valuable insights, and provide the support and encouragement needed to overcome creative roadblocks.

Tip: Participate in watercolor challenges or start a painting group with friends to keep the creative energy flowing.

5. Embrace Mistakes and Learn from Them

Fear of making mistakes can often lead to creative blocks. Remember that watercolor is a fluid medium, and accidents can sometimes result in beautiful surprises. Embrace the unpredictable nature of watercolor and allow yourself to make mistakes. Instead of seeing mistakes as failures, view them as opportunities for growth and learning. Analyze what went wrong, learn from it, and move forward with newfound knowledge. By embracing the imperfections, you will liberate your creativity and discover new artistic possibilities.

Tip: Don't be afraid to try new techniques, even if they feel challenging. Growth happens outside of your comfort zone.

Frequently Asked Questions

1. How long do creative blocks typically last in watercolor?

Creative blocks can vary in duration for different artists. Some may experience a creative block for a few days, while others may face a longer period of several weeks or even months. The important thing to remember is that creative blocks are temporary and can be overcome with the right strategies and mindset.

2. Can meditation help in overcoming creative blocks in watercolor?

Absolutely! Meditation can be a powerful tool to calm the mind, reduce stress, and unlock creativity. By practicing mindfulness meditation, you can quiet the internal chatter, cultivate a sense of inner peace, and tap into your intuition. Incorporate meditation into your daily routine, even if it's just for a few minutes, and witness how it enhances your artistic flow and helps you overcome creative blocks.

3. How can I stay motivated during a creative block?

Staying motivated during a creative block can be challenging, but it's not impossible. One effective strategy is to set small, achievable goals for yourself. Break down your larger artistic projects into smaller, manageable tasks. Celebrate each milestone and use them as fuel to keep pushing forward. Additionally, surround yourself with positive influences, immerse yourself in art exhibitions, read books on creativity, and find inspiration in the works of other artists. Remember, motivation often comes from external sources, so surround yourself with things that spark your passion for watercolor.

4. What is the role of color theory in overcoming creative blocks?

Understanding color theory is vital for watercolor artists. It allows you to make informed decisions about color harmonies, contrasts, and mood in your paintings. When facing a creative block, revisiting color theory can help you find inspiration and unlock new possibilities. Explore different color combinations, experiment with warm and cool tones, and play with complementary and analogous colors. Color theory can provide a solid foundation and spark your creativity when you feel stuck.

5. Are there any specific techniques that can help in overcoming creative blocks?

Yes, there are several techniques that can help you overcome creative blocks in watercolor. One technique is to use a limited color palette. By restricting your color choices, you can focus more on composition and brushwork, which can spark new ideas and creative solutions. Another technique is to paint with your non-dominant hand. This forces you to let go of control and perfectionism, allowing for spontaneous and unexpected results. Additionally, exploring different watercolor techniques, such as wet-on-wet, dry brush, or masking, can breathe new life into your artistic process and help you break free from creative blocks.

In conclusion, creative blocks are a natural part of the artistic journey, and watercolor artists are not exempt from experiencing them. However, with the right strategies and mindset, you can overcome these blocks and reignite your creativity. Explore new techniques and subjects, keep a sketchbook, seek inspiration from nature and everyday life, connect with other artists, and embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth. Remember, unlocking your inner watercolor artist is a journey filled with both challenges and rewards. Embrace the process, trust your intuition, and let your creativity flow onto the canvas. Happy painting!

[whotfisleigh]

A Second Chance at Life

What happens to the lives of these children before they are taken to the Marcellin Homes? Who knows. Each and every one of them hides different stories behind their smiles and painful stares. Their perspectives on life are very different from ours. Upon seeing those kids and being able to interact with them, I have come to the realization that the way they spoke reflects a huge factor of where they come from, what their whereabouts are, and how the institution helped shape their minds. Even in the midst of hopelessness, a ray of faith illuminates these children, reminding them that they have the opportunity to complete their education and have a second chance at life. There is no evidence that confining children in institutions or detention reduces crime. They were driven to commit illegal acts for reasons that only they could fathom. In their families and communities, they encountered poverty and challenging circumstances. I listened and thought, "How are we so lucky to be able to get something that was deprived to these kids? Yet, we crave for some more." We commit actions that are not against the law because of what we have and what our parents can provide. I felt like I didn’t deserve to talk about my struggles because I have so much to be grateful for and people have way worse situations than mine. However, I thought about those kids and tried to put myself in their shoes. What about those who are incapable of experiencing life without having to think of what’s on their plate at dinner and face tomorrow dominated by fear? Adolescents should be trained and reintegrated into society as productive members. They should have access to alternatives to confinement, education, and other social services, as well as rehabilitation and reintegration within society—and I think that’s what the foundation was built for.

Being there and talking to them made me realize that there are still common ideas that spark inside of us— even after all those challenges, we are still kids who dreamt of conquering the world. We were never to be blamed for having these dreams, which may seem impossible to reach. It changed my perspective on life as well. It is not just about the diversity we are talking about; it is also the fire burning inside of us that keeps us going. The eagerness to face tomorrow because we have someone who believes in us. I also thought about taking steps to see the world from a different perspective. There are so many individuals who have been through so much at the hands of life; they are the ones who have dug themselves out of the fall and struggled to turn every loss into a lesson. The kindest individuals are formed and selected to soften when their circumstances try to harden them. At the end of the day, I hope those kids have forgiven themselves. Forgiven for the things that they were forced to do in order to survive. For the ways in which they had to fight through the misery of dealing with all that was heavy and confusing. The pain will subside, the sun will rise, and we will try again.

[1-1-s1ay-2-2]

Yoked for Christ | Explained

And why is it these men who don't sincerely love Jesus Christ as their personal Savior keep trying to get with me? When, if they had even taken a hot second to understand who I truly am by getting to know me before imagining screwing me, they would have known that I love Jesus Christ as my personal Savior.

I've spent my entire life, since I was eighteen years old, with a man who did not love Jesus Christ as his personal Savior. And since then, I've been completely and utterly miserable. I got nothing out of either of those marriages but shitty treatment and lying men. When I say nothing, I don't mean the children I have from the marriages, I mean the personal aspect of sharing life with a man and the emotional and mental contentment that should accompany it. Nothing here means -- children excluded.

After being married to two non-believers for the last two and a half decades of my life, I was left in a state of despair with a hateful demeanor. I became a hollow shell of myself. A man-hater.

There was no warm-hearted, gentle man of faith who would take my hand and drop down to his knees to pray with me.

Any man I've ever known had too much pride for that. To pray with me, to submit to Christ, to be redeemed in the light.

There was no man who would break bread with me in the name of Jesus, or praise Jesus with me, or bless our marriage with belief.

Not a man who would lovingly and adoringly have conversations about Jesus with me, as if He was his Savior, too. There's never been a man to bond with me in faith or support my faith or strengthen my faith as an evenly yoked believer. As companions in Christ~Light.

All the men I've ever known (including blood relatives) only wanted to argue with me or prove me wrong about something or be right all the time or have some sense of power over me.

Men who don't believe in Jesus only ever wanted to control me and bring out the worst in me. They didn't truly love me because they didn't truly love Jesus -- or the TRUTH.

BUT HOW CAN A MAN TRULY LOVE A WOMAN IF HE DOESN'T FIRST TRULY LOVE THE TRUTH?

Men have treated me badly because I kept allowing myself to settle with men who were not personally saved and redeemed by Jesus Christ. Men who sincerely follow Christ and have the Holy Spirit treat their women well you see.

Because Jesus wouldn't have it any other way!

When Jesus sincerely lives wholeheartedly in the heart and soul of a man, there is a difference in him, a very detectable difference that regular (unsaved) men don't possess. A gentle nature, a kind heart, and a willing soul.

A man filled with the Holy Spirit is always discernable from a man filled with darkness. The man living in the shadows of darkness is not carrying his "flashlight" you see, so he always stands out as being the one without.

A man who carries his flashlight, now you can always see him, too, by the torch he carries, by the blazing way he shines his light.

But a man who has no faith and doesn't adhere to the teachings of Christ will treat you according to his own, faithless perspective.

That's not good. You don't want to be with someone who has no moral compass, who doesn't fear the ultimate consequences of being an asshole, who sees you as something to dominate and conquer instead of a person who loves and follows Christ.

Committing yourself to an unevenly yoked relationship NEVER EVER EVER EVER works. I wasted my life on two men who didn't believe when I could have spent that time with a man who believed.

I spent my entire adult life with a non-believing man, in waiting and wanting, and hoping.

Waiting and hoping in vain for him to open his heart to Christ.

Waiting for him to be redeemed from the darkness that I married into with him. Waiting and hoping he would see the light and commune with me in the awakening of our souls. But NO. All I got was...nothing.

Darkness and more darkness. Because where there is no acceptance of the light, there is only...nothing. Darkness is nothing because life cannot birth forth in the darkness. Light is life because it takes light bursting forth from the darkness to produce life -- BIG BANG.

The Big Bang was not darkness producing darkness.

That would be a black hole. As we know -- according to our limited-ten-percent, human perspective -- black holes do not produce life.

Black holes suck life into them. They suck light and energy and everything in their path because that's what darkness does...it DESTROYS...everything. It destructs from within like a force to be reckoned with. Darkness is the real enemy here and it can take the form of anything...even light. Because darkness lies.

When darkness uses light to deceive and create an illusion of goodness, that is called "white magic"...dark magic, as we know, is when darkness uses darkness to do harm in an already darkened world. Know the difference because both types of negative energy and both types of human beings using that energy to their personal benefit exist. And it's your spiritual obligation to yourself to be aware.

The Big Bang was light bursting forth from the darkness, propelled by infinite creation energy -- eternal love energy -- and then once the light burst forth, then life burst forth. Because light is love and love is life and they are all the same in one. Sorta like the Holy Trinity.

The foundation of everything good and true always stands in three.

Our sun, it produces light that sustains us and gives us life. Without the light of the sun, there would be no life on Earth. The first green plant would have never sprung forth, the first baby would have never taken its first breath. Light is what illuminates the darkness like a spiritual flashlight that God has provided us with for the duration of this temporal, physical journey of our eternal souls.

So, you see why faith is so important to me...and sharing that faith with another who believes.

In retrospect, I see the error of my way was that I should have NOT settled for a man who didn't believe.

It's not good to be with someone just because that's who presented themselves. Not everyone you meet is meant for you.

Who cares who wants to be with me...I'm not going to be with someone just because they want to be with me. If being with them destroys who I am over the long run. If I lose myself and my faith because I allowed myself to be influenced by someone in my life who didn't believe, no thanks. Not for me.

[cc-writesfor2dcharacters]

a/n: hi! of course! but, for this i'll only do ran, because draken is only for emma, so sorry y/n hahahaha (I'll drop a draken and emma story soon) anyway, i love a childhood friend to lovers trope so this one's a good idea! i hope you enjoy this one <3

REQUESTS ARE STILL OPEN! IF YOU WISH TO LEAVE A REQUEST, MAKE SURE TO READ MY PINNED POST FIRST, THANK YOU! <3

𝕽𝖆𝖓 𝕳𝖆𝖎𝖙𝖆𝖓𝖎 𝖝 𝕱❗𝕽𝖊𝖆𝖉𝖊𝖗

(Childhood friends to lovers)

AS KIDS

You met in the park when he saw you crying while you were on the swing. When he approached you, he saw a wound on your knee and it was bleeding. He's calm even as a child and tried helping you out by cleaning your wound using the towel he brought.

He found out that you just moved in and tried to make you feel as welcome as possible. And, you immediately felt comfortable in his presence.

No other kids could easily warm you up but him. He will always play with you in the park. And, he's actually open to playing dolls with you just so he could make you happy.

The two of you go to the same school, so it's a given that you two would enjoy the "after school hang out" together. Either you go straight into the park and play with other kids. But, as soon as one of you got a PlayStation, you already preferred staying in and playing video games with him.

If you know Rika Orimoto and Yuuta Okkotsu's backstory something similar happened between you and Ran. But, if you don't know, let me explain.

Basically, as time passes by, you're developing a silly, little crush for your friend. And, on his birthday, you gave him a ring as a promise that you two will get married in the future. Of course, as always, Ran wants to make you happy and told you that he will really marry you in the future.

Slowly but surely, he's starting to like you more than as a friend. Although the feeling confuses him because he's still young, he continues to explore and have fun with you.

AS TEENAGERS

The two of you kind of separated as you enter your teenage years. With different hobbies and likes, you were forced to part ways for a while.

After knowing that he became a brutal person alongside his brother, you knew you had to stop him. After all, you were his kryptonite, from back then until now.

With that, the spark that was once lost ignited again. As you both remember how much fun you have when you're together. And, his lost feelings for you came back since he finally understood what it means to love...

But, you're literally every guy's dream girl. And, it pains Ran so much that other guys are trying to pursue you. It angers him to the point where he wants to beat those guys up.

He realizes that he can't let you go, He can never give you up. You are what keeps him going every single day even if you don't communicate that often. Something in him stirs up when another guy will make you smile. Because he knows you look the most beautiful when the reason behind your smile is him.

One night he just couldn't hide it anymore. He was knocking on your door at 11 in the evening, as he was all beaten up. From the looks of it, you knew he got into a gang fight again.

You couldn't bear seeing him like this. And, before he could admit his feelings, you confessed while you were cleaning up his busted brow bone. He then smiled even if he struggled to do so. Even with difficulties, he would tell you, "I've loved you for so long, Y/N. And, I've always kept our promise when we were kids. You're the only girl I want to be with and I want to marry." You smiled from ear to ear as he tells you his feelings. Ran is never vocal, and he rather finds it hard to voice out what he feels. But, for you, he will conquer his fears.

From that day, it was the beginning of a life-long journey with him. Even if you've been together ever since you were kids. But, it feels relieving for the both of you to finally and officially have each other.

AS MARRIED ADULTS

As you'd expect, your wedding was absolutely phenomenal. It was like out of a Disney movie. He wanted to make you feel like the queen you are for him. And, he knows you deserve more than the best this world has to offer. The least he could do is give you the best wedding anyone could imagine. But, for the two of you, what really mattered is for you to finally tie the knots and call each other "husband" and "wife".

His wedding vow went something like this:

To wake up with you every single morning is already a blessing enough. I never even imagined I would see you again. But, here I am, standing in front of you as we take our vows. I'm very content with the life I have now with you. More so, I'm even happier that I get to have a chance to love you forever, finally. To show how much love I hold for you. I'm still in awe every time I lay my eyes on you— Y/N, you're so beautiful inside and out. That nothing in this world could compare to that. Because from all the time I look at you, I always feel this sanity within me. As if the world has no flaw whatsoever. I adore every silly thing you do. You are my favorite reason for staying alive. I'm beyond happy and thankful that I get to spend a lifetime with you. In whatever challenge life may bring us, I know we could conquer it as long as we’re together. You showed me that love can exist even in the ugliest hearts of people. So, I give you my heart, and from this day forward, I am asking you to be officially mine.

He may or may not have cried when he spoke of his vow.

You didn't have kids right away, since he still wanted to give you the world. He didn't oppose the idea of having children either. It's just what he wants is to have his full attention on you, even if you were together almost your whole life.

You love being called "Mrs. Haitani" by the people that work for him. They'll respect you as much as they respect their boss.

Speaking of that, no one would dare to lay a finger on you. Ran being successful and powerful meant that there are people envious of him. He wouldn't let anyone get to you. Because if they do, let's just hope they're ready to meet satan in hell. Your husband will give them a taste of their own medicine in case they do.

He is the best husband!! He will literally go the extra mile just for you. When you're feeling like he doesn't give you enough time? Oh boy, he'll take you out on a week-long vacation and will make you realize how much he truly loves you. For him, no matter what happens, his wife is his top priority

And, when you do have kids in the future? He will take a month-long break and help you out with your kid. You feel like he went on extra parenting class without you because he bathes your kid and feeds them like a pro.

You'll sometimes find him in the living room all cuddled up with your kid in his chest. And, when you wake him up, he'll just pull you beside them and have his most beloved people in his arms.

You'll always be thankful for whatever that thing you did to deserve Ran. He gave you everything you need and want just to make you happy. And, you feel his love for you even in the most mundane things. Now that he's a father, he's trying to become a better person each day. You can't help but think how lucky your child is to call him their father.

OVERALL, HE'S THE BEST! THERE I SAID IT <33