#i tutored some guy who was having trouble with his programming project

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[libraryofloveletters]

Just A Phase

Evan Buckley x Reader 

Warnings: fem!reader, typical high school nonsense, kinda rude behaviour at first meet, mentions of weed/alcohol and the consumption of, typical cocky jock behaviour, few swear words, being tipsy/drunk

Category: fluff and a little angst 

Word Count: 5.4k

Author’s Note: I just started writing and this is where I ended up so yeah also I feel like I haven’t written in a million years, forgive me if this is shitty // I referred to Buck as Evan for the first little bit because he and the reader had been introduced yet. // thank you to my darling @floralbuckleys for their help!

----

Senior Year Of High School. 

 Evan Buckley, certified jock and bad boy. 

He was the type of guy that only had a soft spot for you, but you didn’t know that yet. Truthfully he wasn’t a mean guy - people just perceived him that way because he was on the football team and popular. He had somewhat of a troublesome reputation.

People knew where he went, trouble followed. 

You, on the other hand, came from a somewhat above average family. Your mom’s a nurse and dad’s a lawyer. They always had big hopes and dreams for you, for you to go off to Harvard in the fall and follow in your father’s footsteps but you didn’t want that. 

You dreamt of being a writer - you couldn't bring yourself to tell your parents that. Since you were young, they had instilled “you’re going to go to Harvard” in you. 

You couldn’t back out now. 

See, high school worked a certain way. You kept to your circles and didn’t mingle with those that didn’t fit into your circle. You and Evan didn’t run in the same circle - he was a troublesome jock and you were a smart preppy girl. 

Being the preppy kid meant volunteering where you could to bulk up your college application hence why you were at school on a Friday afternoon, waiting for the kids to show up. You were part of some tutor program that your chemistry teacher put you into. 

It was mostly just kids that needed some clarification on their work and the occasional jock that needed to pass a course to stay on the team.

You weren't surprised when a group of noisy jocks stumbled in the study hall, reeking of sweat from practice.  

You were surprised to see Evan, he hadn't been in there before. 

“Settle down boys” Mrs. Jacobs told them before sending each guy off to a tutor, leaving Evan standing beside her. “You can head over to y/n” she pointed at you, you gave him a small smile when you glanced up. He looked unpleasant, like he didn’t want to be there. 

He made his way over nonetheless. “Good afternoon” you say quietly, unsure if he heard you. He grumbles a hello as he sits down. 

The first few minutes, it was quiet. He sat there flipping through his textbook and scribbling down answers into the notebook in front of him. 

“Is there anything I can help you-” “I'm not stupid.” 

You glance at him, eyes catching his blue ones looking back at you. “I never said you were.” 

“I'm only here because I didn’t turn in my mid term project and now stupid Mr. Jefferson thinks I don't understand this shit�� he explains himself. 

You hum, glancing down at the notebook in front of him, pulling it towards you. Reading over the sheet, all the answers were right. A hum of satisfaction slips pass your lips as you slide the notebook back over to him. 

“Not just another dumb jock then.” your eyes study his face after the statement. His lips curl into a small smile, a hum as he turns his attention back to his paper. 

“So prep life must be dull - no parties, all study.” 

“Who says prep kids don't party ?” 

He chuckles, “maybe the lack of prep kids at the parties.” “I’ll have you know, I party plenty, Evan.” 

Once again, he chuckles. “The phrasing of that statement shows that you clearly don’t- but call me Buck, all the guys do.” he slides the notebook over to you. 

“Check this over, I'll be back” you watched as he stepped out of the study hall and disappeared into the hallway. 

A few minutes pass by, you’re tired and in need of a nap but you blink away the tiredness to read his work. There’s a voice behind you and then you feel something heavy on your chair. Leaning back to figure out what it was, the back of your head hit something hard. You shift in your seat and look up to see your head has hit Buck’s torso. 

“How's the work, peach ?” his voice is low, the drop in octave from before causes butterflies in your stomach. 

Your brows furrow at the nickname, he noticed your confusion and glances down at your top and your eyes follow his only to see that your peach colour bra was sticking out from the top of your shirt. 

You had stretched back into your seat when he stepped out and you hadn't noticed the shift in your clothing.

Pulling the top of your shirt back up, he smiles and returns to his seat. You clear your throat, head down and eyes on the work in front of you as you could feel the blush on your face. 

“Um, the work is fine.” 

“Do you have plans tonight ?” 

“No, why?” 

“Come with me to Johnson’s party, you can show me how prep kids party” he smiles, his words are teasing you- taunting you even. “I would, but my parents are out of town so I don’t have the car and I have to watch the house.” 

“The house won’t disappear if you’re gone for a few hours and I'll pick you up then. What’s your address ?” 

“Buck, I really shouldn't” 

“Y/n, come on. Pull the stick out your ass for one night and enjoy senior year. You can go back to Harvard prep tomorrow.” 

His word choice doesn't shock you, it’s quite on brand for him. He’s looking at you, waiting for your answer and you can't help but give in.

Taking the pen from him, you scribble your address and number on his notebook. “See you at 7?” picking your bag up before slinging it over your shoulder. 

“7? Peach, the party doesn’t start ‘till 9. I’ll pick you up at 10:30.” 

“Oh um- okay.” you hum, confused but you agree anyways. 

--- 

10:45 and you were sitting on your couch, glancing at your phone and back to the window. 

You had been stood up once before but to be stood up by a jock, and a popular one ? Will be the death of any social life you had. 

Finally there’s a knock on your door and you get up a little faster than you would have liked but you make your way over. Pulling it open, you met with Buck. 

“Ready ?” 

“Sure, let me grab my phone” you leave the door open, stepping back to the couch. Buck had disappeared from the doorway when you returned, you locked up and followed what looked like headlights to the driveway. 

Buck sat on his bike, he scoots forwards a bit before patting the space behind him. 

“No.” you mumble. 

“What ?” 

“I’m not getting on that thing.” 

“That thing ? I'm offended. Come on, you’ll be fine.” 

“Evan, no.” 

Buck gets up, making his way over to you. His hands grab yours, looking at you now. “Y/n, I promise you that you’ll be fine. Can we go now ?” 

“I’ll kill you if something happens to you” you grumbled as you reluctantly made your way over to the bike. Buck gets on first, you mirror his actions. Your hands were to your side, Buck reached back and wrapped them around his waist. 

“You good back there ?” 

“As good as I could be.”

-- 

The house, who you assumed belonged to Johnson’s parents, (you had no idea who Johnson was because you barely ever went to the football games) reeked of alcohol and weed. 

Your face didn’t hide your displeasure as well as you thought it had. Buck chuckled as he slung his arm over your shoulder. 

“So is this what you do ?” you shout over the loud music, Buck was saying hello to someone he knew and wasn't paying attention to what you had asked him. 

You manage to wiggle your way out of his grip and find your way to the kitchen. It’s a few minutes later that Buck finds you sipping on a beer. 

“You drink ?” he gives you a questionable look with a smile on his face. 

“You brought me to a party so I'll do what people do at a party” you hum, leaning back against the counter. He finds his way to you, leaning back against the counter too. 

“Enjoying the party ?” 

“Not really, you kinda left me to talk to some guy for twenty minutes” 

“That guy happens to be our star quarterback.” 

“I care why?” you glance up at him. Buck’s face is pure amusement, you aren't sure if you’re the cause of that or something else but the way he's looking at you- you can feel the butterflies again. 

“Buck!” a group of guys shout as they make their way into the kitchen. They all say hello to him, some are drinking, some are shoving chips into their mouths. 

You stay quiet while Buck talks to them and judging by their varsity jackets, it was safe to assume that they were on the team with Buck. 

“Who’s your friend ?” a brunette guy asks him, stepping towards you. 

“I’m y/n, you are?” you ask before Buck could. 

“Mike, call me Johnson.” 

“Oh, so this is your place ? Cute house” you give him a smile, he laughs. 

“How do you know Buck?” Johnson asks, he was nosy for a drunk guy. 

“Just bumped into each other, we have class together” you lie, not sure if Buck wanted them to know how you really met, Buck gives you a small smile. 

“You’re pretty, how about a dance ?” his hand grabs yours. 

“Thanks but no thanks” you give a polite smile before pulling your hand away. 

Johnson takes a step forward, his hand reaching out and grabbing your hip. “C’mon, dance with me” you could smell the alcohol on him- he reeked. You push his hand off, “I said no thank you” you tell him once more, being ever so polite. 

“Y/n, c’mon, one dance baby” he takes another step, he’s now face to face with you. Before you could say anything, Buck is in front of you, between you and Johnson. 

“Dude, she said no. Leave her alone.” 

Buck’s sudden need to protect you was much appreciated. Usually if a guy did that, especially a jock, you’d be weird out because they never pay attention to you- but Buck, you had this indescribable feeling, pride, satisfaction, maybe even relief ? 

“She’s not even your girl, why are you protecting her?” 

“Doesn’t matter, she said no so get out of her fucking face.” Buck’s hand was against his chest, pushing him away as his other hand reached back for yours. It would be cheesy to say that your hand fit in his like it was made to be there but it was true. 

Buck’s hand was still in yours as he pulled you out the back door. Your back was up against the wall as he stood in front of you. 

“Are you okay ?” you could hear the concern in his voice - different from his usual tone. 

At a loss for words, his eyes study your face. Johnson was a douche and he knew that, he mentally cursed himself for even bringing you here. 

“Y/n.. talk to me” he takes a step towards you. 

“Buck,” your hand presses against his chest, “I'm fine. It’s not the first time a drunk guy has hit on me” 

A breath of relief slipped past his lips, “do you want to leave?” his face softens when he asks. “No, I'm alright.” 

“Stay here, I'll be back” his hand comes down and squeezes your waist gently before he steps back into the house. 

--

It was a while before Buck returned. He had disappeared into the house for half an hour and when he returned, you were by the pool with a pingpong ball in hand. 

“Suck it!” your loud laugh filled his ears, you took a sip from the red cup in your hand and you watched as the guy across from you drank the beer in the cup that the ball landed in. 

“Looks like you’re having fun” Buck smiles, now beside you. 

“Hey!” you reeked of beer at this point. “I’m having fun” your words come out in a slurred mumble. 

“Mhm okay, I think it’s time to head home” Buck takes the cup from you and sets it down. 

“What ?” Your hand reaches for the cup again, a pout evident on your face.

Buck’s hands finds your waist, hoisting you up and over his shoulder. A louder than expected gasp left your mouth, you felt the cold breeze against your legs as he walked towards the front of the yard. 

He put you down in the backseat of a car but you knew you came with his bike so you were confused, just as you go to ask, he scoots you over and gets in the back with you. Buck’s arm is over your shoulder, you’re so tired that you just lean into him. 

-- 

You had noticed you fell asleep and when you woke, you were on the porch swing at your house with Buck’s hand in your pocket. 

“Whatcha looking for?” he glances up at you when he hears your voice. 

“Keys.” 

“Other pocket” 

He manages to find the keys and get the door open. Getting you in the house was another story. “Y/n, come on” he pulls your hands in an attempt to get you up but you weren’t budging. 

What happened to you being a prep kid and not drinking ? He didn’t even think it was possible to get drunk that fast. 

“No, tired” you mumbles, making yourself comfortable on the porch swing. “Do you want your parents to come home and find you here? I’m cool with leaving you here if that’s the case” Buck teased, he had no idea when your parents were coming home. 

The mention of your parents finding you outside, drunk, horrified you. You got up so quick, you nearly toppled over. Buck helped you inside and onto the couch. He disappeared for a moment and then returned with a glass of water. 

“Small sips” he settles beside you, watching as you take a sip. You hum, resting your head on his shoulder as his arm comes over your shoulder. 

“Buck?” 

“Yeah?” 

He felt your head shift, now looking up at him, eyes full of sleep. You were studying his face, from the birthmark above his eye to his pink lips.

“I really like you, you know” your words filled with sleep as your eyes drooped, you blinked a few times, forcing yourself to stay awake.

Buck chuckles, “that’ll pass peach, I’m just a phase.” He hummed quietly, fingers running through your hair as you drift to sleep. 

--

The Monday after the party, you saw Buck in the hallway after waking up to an empty house on the couch, head pounding even in the deafening silence and and you can’t quite remember how you got home. 

Buck had been radio silence since then but you weren't sure why. He was walking in from the front doors and you were by your locker. You turn to speak to him but he barely glances at you before continuing his conversation with Johnson. 

From that day, you never spoke to Buck again. Last you saw him was graduation day and last you had heard was that he was in college and you were headed off to Harvard. 

----

Present.

You had become a big shot lawyer, everything your parents wanted. Moved out to LA to start your own firm and everything was going well until this morning. 

You had barely walked into the office when the fire alarm went off. The sudden alarm caused an onset of commotion in the office, the woman next to you bumped into you, spilling your hot cup of coffee onto you. 

She mumbled a sorry as she passed but you could feel the heat coming from where the liquid had spilt. Nonetheless, you made your way out, the sound of the sirens from fire trucks blaring. 

Not that you didn’t enjoy seeing the handsome firefighters (or so your co-workers seem to say) but you had a ton of paperwork to do for an upcoming case you had and you barely started. 

You stood by the curb, watching as the firefighters made their way over to the crowd and into the building to clear it. 

“Ma'am ?” A firefighter made his way over to you, there was a helmet in his hand as he passed a hand through his hair. You glance up from your phone, to see what he wanted. 

“May I take a look?” his eyes shifted to your chest where there is currently a coffee stain on your white shirt. “Oh, thank you but no. I’m fine” 

“Are you sure? Because that’ll leave a pretty nasty mark if you don't get it cleaned. If you aren’t comfortable, we have a female medic” he offered, hoping you’d consider. 

“You’re a medic ?” you asked, looking him up and down. He nods, taking a step back. He begins walking back to the ambulance and you follow him. “Do you want me to get her?” 

“No, you’re a professional, it’s cool” you give him a small smile before moving your shirt so he could check. 

The firefighter’s hand was now right under your collarbone, dabbing at your skin with some gauze. His fingers were cold, you weren’t sure if it was actually his fingers or the gloves that were cold but either way you looked at him. 

“What’s your name ?” 

“Diaz, Eddie Diaz” he tells you, flashing you a smile before going back to his job. 

You hum, staying still as Eddie rubs something on your skin. 

That’s when you saw him. 

The same blue eyes, the same blonde hair, the same gorgeous smile that always played in your mind. Not a day went by that you didn’t think of him. You had always wondered what he ended up doing, he was smart and destined for great things, there was more for him than a small life in a place where no one ever really did anything. 

Every guy you had dated, you compared to him. It was always something- they didn’t look like him, they didn’t act like him, they didn’t treat you the way he did, they wouldn't stand up for you like he did. 

He lived rent free in your mind. 

“Ma'am?” Eddie’s voice broke your gaze. “Y/n,” you corrected him, “ma’am is for old women” your eyes going back to Buck. Eddie noticed your lack of attention and followed your gaze. 

“Do you know Buck?” 

“He still lets people call him that ?” you chuckle to yourself, feeling Eddie’s eyes burning a hole into you. 

Before you could answer, his radio buzzed before a voice came through, “building’s clear. Start directing people back in.” Eddie looks over at you, you’re already getting out of the ambulance. 

“Keep that clean and dry” were his last words to you after you left. 

--- 

It wasn’t until you were back in the building that you realized your phone was in the ambulance. 

You were majorly screwed. 

Remembering the medic’s name which was the only thing you remember mids the confusion and seeing Buck after 10+ years. You asked around the office if anyone knew what station responded to the call. You had contacts that worked for the city but the lack of phone made it hard for you to call and find out. 

Finally giving in, you google the medic’s name. There were a few articles that had photos but none of them said anything that helped. There was a video from Taylor Kelly at channel 8 news, some sort of video about the fire station. 

Station 118- that was 10 minutes down the road and you pass it everyday on the way to work. The thoughts began filling your head, had Buck been there all along? 

12 years- 12 long, empty years that you acted like he didn’t exist and that you didn’t want to know what happened between you two but he was right down the road. 

You didn’t even know if you wanted to talk to him. You had finally come to peace with it even though a part of you will always long for what could have been. Feelings aside, you set out to the station to get your phone. 

Upon arriving, there were a few guys by the trucks. You asked for Eddie, assuming that he might have an idea of where your phone ended up or if they even found it. 

“Up the stairs and he should be somewhere up there” the guy pointed, you thanked him before heading towards the stairs. When you got upstairs, it was empty. 

You weren't sure if you should go back down or wait so you sort of awkwardly stood there, glancing around the room. The station was nicer than you had imagined it to be, not that you really had an idea of what to expect. 

Your back was to the kitchen when someone tapped your shoulder. “Can I help you?” his voice called out as you turned. 

Buck. 

You let out a breath, your eyes studying his perfect face for a moment. Do you say something or just pretend like you didn’t know him?

“Yeah, I'm uh- I'm looking for Eddie. I think I left my phone in the ambulance.” 

“Do I know you from somewhere ?” 

“I work at the building down the road, 14th street. You guys were there earlier, hence the phone in the ambulance” you tell him, hoping he drops the topic. 

“Y/n! Hey! What are you doing here?” You see Eddie call from behind Buck. 

Thank god. 

“I left my phone in the ambulance. I figured you’d know what happened to it” you’ve stepped past Buck and towards Eddie now. “I haven’t seen it, but maybe it’s still in there. Come with me, we can check for it” 

Eddie was making his way down the stairs and you were behind him when Buck called your name. 

Not y/n. 

Peach. 

You paused, taking a deep breath in before turning to face him. “I thought I remembered you from somewhere” he smiled, him and his stupid smile. 

“I’m in a rush, Evan. Plus, I'm not in the mood to reminisce.” 

The smile dropped from his face, the guilt crept up on you. The feeling of your stomach twisting, sighing before making your way down to Eddie who was by the ambulance, your phone in hand. 

“There’s more to the story than I thought,” Eddie hands the phone over, you give him a hum and thank him. “Let me walk you out.” he follows you out to your car. 

“You know, whatever he did- he’s changed. He’s a good guy.” Eddie says, his voice sincere. 

“I know, I just- I don't know” 

“What did he do? If I can ask” 

“We were- I don't know what we were. We hung out in high school, just once but he was different from the other guys. He genuinely cared. We went to a party together and he brought me home after. I remember falling asleep with him in the house and the next morning he was gone. Total radio silence that whole weekend and when I saw him at school the following week, he acted like he didn’t know me - it was like that for the rest of senior year. We never spoke after that.” 

Here you were pouring your heart out to a firefighter who you had only met an hour ago who also had seen your bare chest (in a professional way, of course)  on a Tuesday morning in the parking lot. 

“Wow- I can see why you wouldn’t want to talk to him.”

“Yeah, thank you for the phone though. I gotta get back to work” 

“Wait, let me get your number” 

You pause, looking at him with furrowed brows. He seemed confused then he realized how that sounded. “Oh god- no not like that, sorry. I meant maybe we could grab a drink sometimes, as friends and maybe you could tell me more about high school Buck ?” 

“Um- yes to the number and drinks but I don’t know about Buck” you hand the phone back over to him, telling him that you’d text him. 

--- 

It was a while before you heard from Eddie, he said he was off on Saturday if you were up for drinks and weren't busy. The whole team was going out but he invited you along to join them. 

After some back and forth “I couldn't intrude” and “you won’t be, come join us” you finally gave in. 

Now it’s 9pm and you, Eddie and Buck are sitting at a booth. Coincidentally, everyone else was busy. Chimney and Hen who you hadn’t met yet, were with their significant others and kids. So that left the 3 of you together. 

You wanted to walk back out when you saw it was only the two of them but Eddie had seen you and called you over. His phone buzzed just as Buck came back with drinks. 

“Everything okay?” Buck asked his friend, Eddie, still typing away on his phone. “Huh? Yeah, it’s Carla. Chris is running a fever” you could hear the concern in his voice. 

“Chris is your son?” 

“Yeah- I'm sorry I got to go. I’ll make it up to you. Drinks on me another night” Eddie gave your shoulder a squeeze as he stood. 

“No yeah, of course. Go, it’s fine” you smiled. 

“Let me know if you need anything” Buck shifts towards Eddie, the two of them seem to have some sort of routine or way of how things work between them.  

And now there were two. 

Buck sipped on his beer, you sat across from him, your nails tapping against the bottle in front of you. He was the first one to speak.

“So, how have you been?”

“Good. You?”

“Good too. I don’t know if you remember my sister but she had a baby recently so I've been hanging out with her after work”

“Oh, that’s nice. Maddie right?”

“Yeah, she had a little girl. She’s the cutest little girl ever.” Buck pulls his phone out, showing you a photo of him holding a baby in a blanket with a brunette beside him. The woman beside him, Maddie you assumed, was smiling at Buck, fixing the blanket while he looked at the camera, the joy evident on his face.

“She’s adorable and your sister looks the same, she hasn’t aged a day” you hum, passing the phone over to him.

Back to awkward silence.

“What happened to us?” Buck’s question catches you off guard.

“What happened to us? You happened.”

“What? I thought we were friends.” Your eyes met, his full of confusion and yours with displeasure.

“Friends don’t disappear in the middle of the night with no explanation and ignore them for the rest of senior year.” You get up, grab your phone and make your way to the door. Buck’s calling out to you but you don’t want to stop and talk to him.

The night was cold, the wind hit your bare shoulders and you shivered for a moment before walking. Buck was still calling out your name, he had followed you out the bar.

“Y/n! Stop! Y/n, c’mon. Please!” His hand wrapped around your wrist, holding you in place. You pull your hand back.

“No! You don’t get to do that. Act like everything is fine when you disappeared with no explanation. I know we weren’t best friends but I thought we were at least friends. That fucking hurt, Evan.”

“Fine,” he sighs, looking at you. “You want the truth ?” Your brows raised, waiting for him to continue.

“You told me you liked me. You were a good kid, going to Harvard, which you obviously did” gesturing at you, he continued. “I didn’t know what I wanted and I didn’t want you to feel like you needed to be by my side until I figured it out. I knew you would resent me for that and I couldn’t do that to you, I couldn’t do it to myself.”

“That’s selfish. It’s about you ? That’s why you left with no explanation ? You couldn’t do it to yourself ? Man the fuck up Buck, life isn’t about you.” 

“You think I don’t know that ?! You think I didn’t think about you all the time? That I didn’t miss you?” 

“Don’t start with that shit. You knew where I would be. You said it yourself, I was “a good kid, going to Harvard” so if you really missed me, you could have found me.” 

“Y/n, be real. We were just out of high school, what means did I have to go searching for you? I had my own shit to deal with.” 

“Just stop, I don’t even want to know.” 

“No, you stop” 

“No you.” 

“Y/n” his voice was stern, the annoyance clearly there. 

“Evan.” your tone matched his.

That stupid smug smile of his was on his face, that was enough to make you roll your eyes. “’Kay, I'm over your shit.” turning away from him, you go to walk away but his hand grabs yours. 

Still fit like it was made to be there. 

Before you could register what was happening, Buck’s lips were on yours. Maybe time stopped when Buck’s lips met yours but your heart didn’t- it felt like it was beating a million times seconds and the butterflies in your stomach were restless. 

It wasn't clear to either of you at the moment that it had started pouring rain but it didn’t matter. There was this raw emotion in the way his hands felt on your waist or how his chest was pressed to yours. 

Buck would be lying if he said he didn’t open his eyes slightly, sneaking a guilty peek at you just to make sure you weren’t a fiction of his imagination. Every breath he took smelt of lavender and honey, the same scent that had lingered on his mind since the day he met you. His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer to him, if that was even possible. 

Maybe this was meant to be, fate bringing back what was meant for him to him or maybe this really was all a fabrication of his imagination but he wanted to live in his moment forever. 

It wasn't until thunder rumbled that he pulled away. The rain had soaked your clothes and hair, your makeup had smudged and half of your lipstick was on Buck. 

The same stupid smug smile on his face.

“God,” rolling your eyes at him. “You’re so annoying.” wiping your lips with the back on your hand, hoping that you got all the lipstick off. 

“Yeah, I'm the annoying one” Buck’s face twisted, giving you a playful shove as you stepped towards him. Your thumb comes up to wipe the lipstick off him. Buck’s arm lifts, now over your shoulder. 

The two of you looked at each other as you made your way down the street. 

“Just a phase huh ?” you hum, glancing at Buck. 

The blonde let out a chuckle, “maybe not.” 

--- 

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[imagines-by-a-typical-fangirl]

Good Girl, Bad Boy (Pt. 02 of 15)

Pairing: Billy Hargrove X Reader

Word count: 2.3 K

Summary: You're the extreme opposite of Billy Hargrove. The good girl, with perfect grades, the child every mother wants to have. And you don't want to have nothing to do with his kind. Ignoring Billy – and his constant, lingering stare – became an habit. But after you're put together for a special school program, you'll have no choice but to get along with him. And soon enough you'll find out that Billy is so much more than just Hawkins' bad boy.

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{Stranger Things Masterlist}

{Dacre Montgomery Masterlist}

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Growing Closer

You find Billy walking away from his locker, ready to go home. He's alone this time, and you heard something about Stacy being mad at him. You wonder what he did to her. Or if he just got tired and is now aiming for someone else.

“Hargrove.” You call when you're closer enough to be heard. Billy turns around immediately, and you both stop in the middle of the hall. “Do you happen to have some time? We need to discuss the calendar.”

“Sure.” He simply says, and it's clear to you he's pissed off already. He was forced into the program, so it's only normal he doesn't want to do that.

“We can hit the library. It remains open for two hours after class.” You can't help but notice some people staring. But that isn't a surprise. You and Billy are as different as day and night, and nobody expects to see you two talking.

“Sure.” He repeats, and a fun expression crosses his face before he steps aside, gesturing for you to walk.

Chuckling, you furrow your eyebrows, starting to make your way to the library.

You know the place by heart since you're here at least three times a week. Waving at the teacher who stays in the reception, you pick a table in the back, so your chattering won't bother anyone. Taking a seat, you watch as Billy settles down across from you.

It's a little weird at first, and a silence falls in between you two. You suddenly realize you've been staring at him, way too focused on his blue eyes. You didn't know Billy's eyes were so beautiful. But you quickly clear your throat, searching on your bag for your notebook.

“I made you this planner.” Pulling the paper sheet off the notebook, colorful by many different marker colors, you slide it over to him. Billy's eyes fall on it immediately, eyebrows raising. “It's just to help you keep up with everything until the end of the year. More stuff will probably be add, but don't worry, I'll let you know.”

“You have everything figured out, don't you?” He finally speaks up, holding the paper in his hands.

“I know you don't want to do this. But this is senior year and you're almost free. Just a little longer and this will be over.” Offering him a small smile, you put a strand of hair behind your ear.

“I won't repeat the year. My grades are enough to get me through.” He sounds a little angry, and you sigh.

You don't know what to say to make him cooperate if he doesn't want to. “Look, you can't get out of the Improvement Program. But you can pick another tutor. So if you want, I have a list of everyone who's still available and maybe if there's someone you already know or happen to be friends with–” As you speak, you start looking in your bag for the small blueish paper. “–you just have to talk to Mrs Martinez and–”

“I want you to be my tutor.” His voice startles you since it's a little too loud and because of the silence, it echoes a bit. “But just because I know you're the smartest person in this school.”

Biting your lip, you nod, not sure how you feel about his compliment. “Thanks... I try.”

“You freaking succeed,” Billy mutters, cupping his hands above the table.

There's heat creeping through your cheeks so you look away, bringing back to mind what else you must talk to him about. “So, the next project is a presentation on History about World War I. Our part is about the assassination of Archduke Ferdinand, the invasion of Bosnia and Herzegovina, and the July crisis. The happenings before the war was set.”

“Great.”

“Shhh.” Someone says, and you look at a small group of people on your left.

“You shut up, asshole.” Billy raises his voice a little, and you look at him with wide eyes.

“Hey. Don't say that.” You warn him, giving the boy an apologetic look. “We're at a library, we're supposed to be quiet.”

“Excuse me.” Mr Williams comes, standing a few feet away. “Some students are complaining about your chattering, so I'll have to ask you to leave, please.”

“Oh...” Blushing a little, you start gathering your stuff. “Sorry, Mr Williams. We'll leave.” Billy is just about to say something when you give him a look.

You're quickly outside again, fixing the strap of your bag on your shoulder. “We...” Moving out of the way of some people heading to the library, you set into his pace, walking side by side. “We'll need some time to work on everything. So we can switch between your place and mine because doing things in the library won't work.” You feel a little shy to propose this, but it's not a big deal. You'll be doing this until the end of the year, so it's quite inevitable. “If that's ok with you, of course.”

“We should hit your place then. My father is home today, so... It just won't work.” There's a change in his voice, and you glance at him.

“My mother is home too. But she won't bother us.” Walking a little faster, you gesture at your car. “Just follow me.”

Billy nods, and you smile, giving him a little wave.

The school is empty, and so are the streets around it, so you have no trouble speeding away. Keeping your eyes on the review mirror, it only takes twenty minutes to get to your house, so you park on your usual spot, stepping out of the car and waiting for Billy to do the same. When he finally joins you on the porch, you move to unlock the door.

Billy couldn't help but feel lucky to be at her place. He never thought he'd come here, under any circumstances. Trying not to let her notice, he allows his eyes to wander a little as she opens the door, taking in the place (Y/N) calls home. It has a weird feeling for him, almost as if the place is sacred, somewhere he wasn't supposed to be.

“My mother is nice. But she may say some embarring stuff so... Be prepared.” Following her inside, Billy notices as her mother looks at them, eyes going a little wide to see him. He wonders if she isn't used to her daughter bringing boys home. Knowing (Y/N), he knows she's not. “Mom, this is Billy Hargrove. I told you about him yesterday, remember? From the Improvement Program.”

She told her mother about him. So yes, she was thinking about him. Maybe just for a couple of seconds, maybe just as someone she knows, who she has told to help. But it doesn't matter. (Y/N) was thinking about him, and for now, it's enough.

“Of course.” She stands up, coming to give her daughter a quick hug and shake Billy's hand. “I'm Amanda. (Y/N)'s mother.”

“It's good to meet you, Mrs–”

“Call me Amanda kid, or else I feel terribly old.” She jokes, kindly smiling. “I believe you'll be hanging around here a lot because of school. But don't worry, I won't get in your way.”

“Thanks, mom. We'll be in the dining room.” (Y/N)'s light touch on his forearm is enough to make him shot her a glance, almost too desperate, something in him wanting to ask her why she did such a thing. Billy curses himself as he follows her to the dining room for feeling so stupid. It's just a freaking touch. On his freaking arm. And she wasn't even giving it much thought.

As Billy settles down on the table, (Y/N) moves the centerpiece to the edge so they'll have more space. “Do you want anything? Water? Or some chips? I happen to have some.”

Her voice sends Billy into some kind of stupor. A guy like him shouldn't feel this way. (Y/N) is just a girl, and he had many. But none of them ever made him feel like this. Like his heart is trying to jump off his chest. After a year, he did think he got over it. But he was wrong. Billy didn't want to be this close to (Y/N), always watching her from a safe distance. But this stupid school had to put them together, so damn close. Look at him now, seated on her dining table, staring at her like a complete idiot.

Just because she offered him water and freaking chips.

“Water is nice.” He mumbles, eyes on her back as she walks away, passing behind his chair. A sweet scent irradiates from her. Like flowers, he doesn't know which one though, like freaking sunshine.

Laughing at his stupidity, Billy looks down at his hands. How can someone smell like sunshine? It's illogical.

“Get it together, she's just a girl,” Billy says to himself, resting his back against the chair and taking his jacket off, laying on the chair next to him. Girls are nothing new to him. He had they all figured out, their ways, how to break them, how to please them, how to bend them to his will.

But not (Y/N).

A nice girl like her is immune to his tricks. And that's good because if she wasn't, it would mean she could also fall on someone's traps. Like Tommy, or Jimmy, or Jackson. The very thought of those assholes with her, touching, caressing, kissing... It disgusts him, and he's quick to push such images away.

“Did you say something?” (Y/N) asks, coming back from the kitchen and handing him a glass with cold water. Once she's close enough, he takes a deep breath, and her sweet scent almost drives him mad.

She's not a girl for you, get it together. “No.” He mumbles, taking long sips before putting the glass down. “So what now?” He sounds a little rude, so he immediately clears his throat after, eyes on (Y/N) as she takes a seat next to him on the round table instead of across from him. Billy finds it odd, but he's thankful for the proximity. This way, he can be surrounded by her candy-like scent, trying to memorize it so he could play it back later. When he's into the nightmare he calls home.

You're just about to start, History books already on the table, since you'll begin with the presentation, notebooks and papers so you can take notes, but then you look at Billy. There's a bruise on the apple of his cheek that you haven't noticed it before.

“Did you get into a fight?” You ask, leaning slightly forward to take a better look.

“What?” There's a moment of confusion on his face before it changes. “Yeah.”

“Did you win?”

“In a way.” It doesn't look like he'll say anything else.

“Well, if someone punches you, make sure to beat them up.” Smiling a little, you take the History book, opening it on chapter 7. “What exactly do you know about–”

“Are you still dating Steve?”

The question takes you by surprise, making you nervously giggle. “Why are you asking me that?”

“Just curious.” He shrugs his shoulders, tilting his head to the side. “Saw you two talking earlier today and he wouldn't be happy to know we'll be around each other a lot.”

“Steve is my friend. We dated last year but only for two months.” Avoiding Billy's eyes, you go through the book, not really paying attention to anything. You can feel his stare, and for some reason, your cheeks start heating up.

“Who broke up with who?”

Chuckling, you turn your body towards him. “Why do you want to know, Billy?” Maybe he's just trying to procrastinate. “Because if you're just trying to delay things I–”

“No, I really want to know.” He leans forward, pulling the book closer to him. “You and Harrington don't fit together, so I was surprised to see you hanging out with him last year.”

“Steve and I got pretty close when he dropped the jerk act. And we were both single so we decided to give it a try.” The only reason you're telling Billy this is because it's not a secret. Some people know and they probably didn't put any effort into keeping it hidden. “But it didn't click. We were dating but it wasn't really romantic, so...” You smile to remember it, and the memory that comes back is definitely a secret. Nancy is the only one who knows, her and Steve, obviously. But you guess it's ok to tell Billy, it's quite funny. And silly. “We... We never really kissed, you know?”

“What?” His voice startles you, and the genuine confusion on his face only makes you laugh. “You're joking.”

“I'm not, and if this gets out, I'll know it was you.” With a finger pointing at his face, you fake a threatening face. “So keep it between us or else.”

Pinching his eyebrows together, Billy seems amused. “Or else what?” His voice gets lower, as he leans closer.

“Or else I'll have no choice but to make out with Steve in front of the whole school.” In a sassy tone, you smile, biting your tongue not to laugh at his expression. Billy is... Impressed? Surprised, maybe. Something tells you he wasn't expecting this answer.

“Ew. Please don't.”

“Then don't tell anyone.” Shrugging your shoulders, you pull your feet up, crossing your legs on the chair. “Now, C'mon. World War I.”

“One more question and we get to it.” As he speaks, you feel him pulling your hand away from the notebook, forcing you to give him attention. “Why in the hell didn't you and Steve–”

“We kissed. I mean, those quick kisses, you know. Like when you say hi or goodbye. Just a peck in the lips. But that was it.”

“That was it?”

“That was it.” Giggling again, you assure him. Why is it so important to him anyway? “Now, can we start?”

You watch as Billy's eyes remain on you, burning, lingering. After a while, his lips break into a smile and he looks down at the book, shaking his head lightly. “Let's start.”

×

@multific @clockworkballerina @tina1938 @graciehams @moatsnow @all-the-stars-on-your-skin

[starship-squidlet]

Modern Stargate SG-1 Headcanons:

To go along with this post

Daniel:

Was always a nerd. Definitely had a “Greek mythology” phase growing up and never technically grew out of it, he just shifted a little more towards Egyptian mythology as he got older.

He felt closer to his parents when he was studying Egyptian mythology, and wound up turning it into a whole career by becoming an Egyptologist like they had been.

Guilty pleasure: Ancient Aliens.

Seriously, when he found out about the stargate and aliens and all of that his mind was absolutely blown. Even though he’d posited Ancient Aliens-esque theories himself, there was always a little part of him that went “there’s absolutely no way this is real and I might actually be a little crazy”. He did a little happy cry after going to Abydos and dealing with Ra and everything not just because all of that was over and they had won, but because he really was right and not crazy and all these theories he’d always wanted to believe but couldn’t quite bring himself to 100% believe really were true.

Aromantic/Asexual

But he still married Sha’re—he didn’t really have a choice.

Even after they got everything sorted out with Ra, and he chose to stay on the planet when Jack and the others left, he didn���t leave her. Initially, this was because he didn’t want her to be punished for not “pleasing” him or something like that (he had no idea how Kasuf and the other elders would react if he tried to send her away and didn’t want to risk her getting in trouble), but he did come to genuinely care for her. Once Kasuf and Skaara understood this about him, they were just as accepting of his identity as Sha’re was and became his family.

(Kasuf probably never truly understood what Daniel was trying to tell him about romantic/sexual attraction but he just smiled and nodded and accepted this weird kid anyways. All that mattered to him was that Sha’re was happy.)

When Sha’re was taken by Apophis, Daniel still joined SG-1 to get her back. He became almost immediate friends with Sam, who he always felt understood him on a level almost no-one else ever had, except for possibly Sha’re. Jack and Teal’c were friends on a different level, but they were no less close.

Has a lot of strong opinions on Google translate.

Tutors ESL students online (when he’s on Earth).

The only time his Duolingo streak was broken was when he ascended for a year.

Sam:

Sam Carter grew up a tomboy. While the other girls were all having tea parties and playing with dolls, she was building Lego spaceships with her brother and tying parachutes to plastic army men (and other toys) and throwing off the upstairs back porch of their house to see what would work.

In high school, she entered robotics tournaments and anything else she could get into.

She played softball and field hockey and was good at basketball even though she never joined the team. She took karate and tae kwon do and jui jutsu classes on the weekends. By the end of high school, she was teaching self defense classes at like the local Y or something.

She was also on the chess club in high school.

Got all As in math and science classes, but was more of a B student in any other subject—still above average, but she didn’t excell quite as much in the humanities.

Got into every college she applied to and got good scholarships to most of them, but decided to go to the Air Force Academy instead at the last minute without explanation to anyone.

No-one was more shocked by this move than Jacob, who had never expected her to follow in his footsteps. When pressed for answers by the school counselor, she said she felt it was her best chance to go to the moon someday.

In the academy, she excelled not only in her classes but in every physical test. She beat guys twice her size in hand-to-hand combat, had perfect aim on the gun range, and continued to get near perfect scores in her math and science classes in particular.

When Jacob expressed his pride in her accomplishments, it proved to be a mistake. She got into a slightly questionable relationship with one of the lowest-ranked guys in her year, who was always inches away from a dishonorable discharge. Her grades and performance slipped.

Some people suspected abuse when she would show up to classes with a black eye or split lip, but any suggestion of this to her would earn them the most wicked glare and a possible punch to the gut if no officers were around.

When Sam and her boyfriend got engaged, Jacob came to the school personally to try to talk her out of marrying him. He’d heard enough about the guy from his friends at the academy to feel the need to intervene, but this proved to be the worst possible choice. That weekend, Sam and her fiance ran off to elope. At the last second, she snapped to her senses and broke it off. Afterwards, she always denied that he had been the source of her bruises, but since those stopped after they broke up, not many people believed her.

She was one of the first people pulled for the stargate project and designed the majority of the dialing system herself. Once it was finished, she left the program to work on her doctorate.

When Apophis’s soldiers came through the gate and the stargate program was reopened, newly-doctorized Sam leapt at the chance to go to Abydos with Jack and his team. She never expected it to last beyond that one mission, but was certainly not complaining when they found the cartouche with more gate addresses!

She’s a very private person, and only discloses her feelings with those she trusts the most deeply. Daniel is usually the first to find out about stuff though—and not just romantic stuff; she also confides in him about things that she’s stressed or worried about, and he’s always the first or one of the first to hear her good news.

Besides Daniel, her closest friend is Janet Frasier. They went through basic training/the air force academy together, and reunited upon joining the stargate program. They started dating not long after joining the program, although they kept their relationship fairly quiet.

They went on a break after Janet adopted Cassie, and never quite found their way back to each other as partners, although they remained close friends. Never telling Janet how she really felt became Sam’s greatest regret after Janet died, and she devoted herself to Cassie to assuage her guilt over that.

Fierce feminist and a massive supporter of women in STEM and similar movements.

Disaster bisexual.

Jack

Jack and Sarah married fairly young and had Charlie not long after. He wasn’t exactly planned, but they loved him more than anything, and when he died it absolutely tore the two of them apart.

Jack went from a fairly happy-go-lucky, glass-half-full, ray of actual sunshine to a sarcastic, pessimistic, ball of anxiety literally overnight.

He was severely depressed after Charlie’s death, to the point where he actually had to be hospitalized.

When he was released, he moved back in with Sarah, even though they had been separated before his hospitalization. It wasn’t long after his release that he was pulled for the first mission to Abydos with Daniel.

After that mission, his nightmares changed. After Charlie’s death, they had all been about watching his son die, but after Abydos the nightmares now forced him to relive the deaths of his men, Daniel, and the boys who were killed fighting Ra. He and Sarah got divorced, and he went into early retirement.

To everyone’s shock, retirement turned out to be the best possible thing for Jack.

While he was still clearly depressed, he improved in leaps and bounds. He put a lot of energy into himself and his mental state, and, a year later when General Hammond called him back to Cheyenne Mountain, he was almost unrecognizable as a different person.

Going back to Abydos and seeing Daniel, Sha’re, and Skaara and his boys living and thriving was also really good for him. After Skaara and Sha’re were taken, he went into another spiral, but forced himself out of it by telling himself that he had to get them back. Was this healthy? Probably not. Did he care. Definitely not.

He didn’t really want to rejoin the air force and the stargate program, but did it more to watch over Daniel and to rescue Skaara than anything else.

He did come to truly love it, though, and even though the circumstances that brought him back were horrible he was still grateful to be part of SG-1.

Teal’c

Most of the Goa’uld system lords saw their female Jaffa as little more than breeding partners to the males, to create more Jaffa soldiers to serve their “gods”, and incubators for the juvenile symbiotes that all Jaffa carried, and Apophis was no exception.

Teal’c was fairly young when her father died, executed by Cronus for failing him in battle. She had already been in training with her father and Bra’tac—female Jaffa were expected to know how to fight, even if they were never called upon to serve their overlords in this way—determined to break out of the traditional path expected of her as a woman. Her father’s death lit a new fire within her, however, and she attacked her training with a new fierceness that unnerved even Bra’tac a little. She vowed to someday become the first prime of Apophis, Cronus’s greatest enemy, so she would one day have the pleasure of killing the god that ordered her father’s death.

The only woman in Apophis’s ranks, she literally clawed her way to the top of his Jaffa.

The other warriors feared her and whispered horrible stories of her victories in battle behind her back.

These were greatly exaggerated, of course, but Teal’c did nothing to discourage them. She wanted the most fearsome reputation she could get.

She gained a reputation for bloodthirstiness, fierceness in battle, and an almost animalistic nature when she fought. This caught Apophis’s attention, and she earned his favor.

Drey’auc was a childhood friend, and one of the only people Teal’c ever trusted enough to show her softer side to.

When Drey’auc’s husband was killed in battle, Teal’c took her and her newborn son Rya’c under her protection.

Deep down (largely thanks to Bra’tac and her father) Teal’c never truly believed that the Goa’uld were actually gods. She wanted to become Apophis’s first prime more for the power and respect that came with the position, and in hopes of having the chance to kill Cronus, than to actually serve him.

There were a lot of things that happened over her years in service to Apophis, both before and after becoming first prime, that really cemented her belief that the “gods” she had been raised to believe in were false, but she didn’t dare voice this to anyone but Bra’tac—she never even tonld Drey’auc, beyond a few vague hints.

When she met Jack, Sam, and Daniel and heard Jack promise to save the other prisoners, she saw it as her best choice to finally rise up against the oppression of the Goa’uld and jumped at the chance to help the humans.

On Earth, she realized that the humans there would trust her and respect her without the bloodthirstiness she’d been forced to show to the other Jaffa, and slowly began to relax slightly.

Seeing the respect shown to Sam, Janet, and other women on the base was basically revolutionary to her.

Slowly, she began to relax and open up to her new friends.

She sees herself as a protecter to her team in particular, and even to the SGC as a whole. Daniel, Sam, Jack, and Janet specifically are the people she feels the most protective over.

As time goes on, she slowly accepts SG-1 as a newfound family. As far as she’s concerned, the three of them are the siblings she never had, and she would do anything to protect them.

Drey’auc’s death rocked her to the core and led to a lot of questioning.

She almost left the SGC to take care of Rya’c, but it was actually Bra’tac who convinced her to stay, telling her that the Tau’ri were their best chance to defeat the Goa’uld once and for all and promising to take care of Rya’c in her name.

[molanran]

blueming - choi beomgyu

summary: pre relationship au! m/n is a tired college student that falls in love so easily. beomgyu is the cute barista that he falls for.

word count: 3k

now playing: blueming – iu & i’m so pretty - nature

notes: first in a series

m/n stumbles into his least favorite coffee shop exhausted, with a migraine, clutching an ice pack, and a gloomy disposition, wondering why everyone is so happy. it's not his fault, honestly it's not.

it's minju's.

she dragged him out last night to go shopping, which ended in disaster. he tripped over jewelry laying on the floor, got pushed into a wall and got slapped in the face, hard. not only that, but he got awoken by freaking justin bieber of all things and the starbucks across the street from his study hall is closed, and now he has to run all the way across to the other side of campus just to get a cup of freaking coffee.

wait, he also got knocked out after being hit by a trombone at orchestra practice.

he's internally yelling at minju in his mind before deciding to actually let her know how he feels via a strongly worded text message (she'll probably be fuming that he woke her from her sleep but he's too angry to care) just as he reached the front counter. still pounding away at his phone, he grunts out his order, dropping the exact amount of money for his venti-frappucino-with-three-espresso-shots. yeah, he's definitely not having the best morning.

"sorry, could you repeat that?"

m/n looks up, ready to glare viciously and direct his bad mood at the barista who obviously pays no attention... but instead gapes at him because the barista is actually really cute and damn maybe he's already got a crush. and, oh shit, he's the guy who minju tutors sometimes on weekends.

the barista (beomgyu, m/n remembers) stands there with an uncomfortable smile, awkwardly standing there behind the counter. (m/n would be lying if he said that wasn't one of the cutest things he's ever seen.) "your order?"

m/n gapes a little more before regaining his composure, a polite smile gracing his features. "yeah - right, sorry. um, a venti frappuccino with three espresso shots." he pushes the coins forward, waiting awkwardly.

beomgyu smiles again, this time an actual smile gracing his features (m/n will never admit that he swooned a little), appearing amused if anything. "right," he quickly scooped the change up before yelling behind him. "yein! large frap, three shots!" he registers m/n's change and hands m/n his drink. "thanks for coming to golden swirls! have a great day, m/n-ssi."

m/n blushes because beomgyu actually knows his name and he may or may not be screaming inside because of it. someone behind him coughs, interrupting his inner emotions and m/n is so glad that he's not in high school because he so has a schoolgirl crush.

"thanks- i'll be going-" m/n runs out of the door before he could embarrass himself further, almost dropping his coffee as he goes and accidentally knocking his laptop bag that's swung over his shoulder into the wall outside. he looks at beomgyu through the large window, watching how he serves the next customer before quickly heading off towards his next class.

not even ten seconds later, he's managed to almost break his laptop, spill his coffee over a random stranger and he just wants the ground to swallow him up. his patience has run thin and he finds himself swearing because of how awful this one morning has gone. fuck today, fuck his life, just fuck

.

most of the time, m/n's lucky to have minju in his life. they share an apartment together with minju running a home business as a pastry chef, she helps him with all of his assignments and they've known each other forever. but today, he really hopes that he has awoken her from her sleep (he doesn't want anything horrible to happen to her, he loves her too much) because it's her fault that he's injured. (maybe not completely her fault, not that he'll ever admit it.)

after getting back to the apartment and telling her of his god-forsaken awful day, she has the audacity to laugh.

she laughs so hard that she ends up falling off the couch, her makeup smudging which he's sure she'll be upset about. he doesn't really appreciate that she's laughing and he thinks that maybe he should take photos or a video because she laughs like a horse on crack. he chooses the third option which is attempting to make her spontaneously combust with the power of his glare.

"what the actual fuck." if anything, she laughs even harder and starts rolling around on the floor. he grabs a nearby throw pillow and launches it at her.

(she retaliates, flipping the couch over and them sitting on his back, she tries suffocating him with a surprisingly lethal fluffy cushion.)

after she stops attempting to strangle him and they put their living room back to the original state, they return to their previous conversation. but he immediately wishes that she's still attempting to murder him, because she is smirking. (he's so going to be antagonized for another week)

"so what basically happened, is that you publicly humiliated yourself in front of a cute guy and now you've turned into a weeping willow." she almost bursts out laughing again after her summary, instead pinching his cheek.

m/n immediately recoils, covering his face with another throw cushion. "yes, thank you for reminding me of the possibly most embarassing period of my life."

"you could've been worse. you could've spilled coffee on him, you could've fallen flat on your face as soon as you walked through the door." she laughed while he blushes even harder than he thought possible. (leave it to minju to bring up previous events.)

"i hate you," he manages to squeak out from underneath the pillow, curling in on himself.

"i love you too," she pats his head affectionately. "now i'll order some chinese food and we'll spend the whole night watching cheesy rom-coms while i try to cheer you up with some horrible puns and jokes."

(m/n cracks a smile because he honestly couldn't ask for a better best friend.)

--

after finally managing to finish his music assignment and edit another three essays as well as helping minju with baking cupcakes, m/n skypes kangmin. kangmin (the same person who chose to go in china instead of staying in seoul, the traitor) has been the third member of their group ever since the beginning of elementary as well as the exact reason for m/n's sexuality crisis. (which may or may not have included a temporary relationship and a lot of making out.)

it's not like m/n can hold it against him, but of course he still wonders why all of his friends have to be so damn good looking and adorable.

kangmin, unsurprisingly, doesn't answer the phone the first time but the second time yejin had picked up the call. yejin was the last member of their group and was the most creative and independent of the bunch. she was the first person that m/n had met that he loved within the first five minutes of meeting. of course, sometimes she was over-dramatic and hyperactive but it didn't really matter, she was still one of his best friends.

"hey m/n!" yejin smiled, flashing her pearly whites. "kangmin is currently busy working on that huge programming or digital project that he got a week ago."

yejin faces the camera towards kangmin, showing him with his head in buried in his hands. there were papers strewn all over the desk while his computer was closed. she subtly takes a picture of his distress before tapping him on the shoulder. kangmin's head snaps, a grimace present until his eyes lands on m/n's face appearing.

"m/n!" kangmin yelled, snatching his phone off yejin. ignoring her rude remark, he positions the phone in a way that both yejin and himself appear on the screen while still being close enough to hear. "sorry, i love you but this stupid piece of code is giving the biggest trouble ever and i just can't take it anymore."

he groans dramatically in his hands while yejin rolls her eyes at him, patting his head fondly.

"you'll be fine." she coos at him, rubbing his hair affectionately. "what's up m/n?"

"i may or may not have met someone..." m/n trails off, laughing at their reactions. yejin starts clapping excitedly and squealing while kangmin's head snaps up with a bright smile on his face.

"who is it? it's not that creepy guy in orchestra is it? if it is, you could do so much better.." yejin rants, not stopping even when kangmin covers her mouth with his hand.

"and i may or may not have also embarassed myself in front of him." yejin shuts up straight away, both her and kangmin starting to giggle.

"how bad was it?" kangmin inquires, a cheeky glint in his eye. "falling-flat-on-your-face-bad or peeing-your-pants-because-you're-so-nervous-bad?"

"neither,"

stares.

"maybe worse,"

more stares.

"it was clown-at-kangmin’s-eighth-birthday-bad."

long story short, kangmin’s parents had hired the wrong person and accidentally hired a drug dealer who tried to convince the kids that the cocaine he brought was sherbet. 

kangmin’s parents were mortified at the time but kangmin continues to tell the story whenever he gets the chance.

m/n eventually ends the call because yejin and kangmin are laughing so hard at him and, god, why does everything with him have to be so complicated and embarassing? (he may also have rejected the next two calls, accidentally)

minju, being the absolutely amazing best friend that she is, is so much more helpful than his other two friends. meaning that since she's already laughed at him, she's moved on to the point where she decides that she's going to be a helpful friend.

(m/n shudders at the thought. last time minju decided she was going to be a 'helpful friend', he ended up in the hospital for two weeks and failed two assignments.)

unfortunately, minju turns out to be his only option to call when he sees beomgyu again at the shop.

"please, please, please, come here right now. starbucks is closed, beomgyu's on shift and i need someone here to make sure i don't embarass myself."

turns out, this is the one time that minju isn't available.

"you should've asked me before. i'm too busy. i've got to juggle six different pastry orders and they all have to be done in a couple of hours because i'm catering for a wedding."

well, fuck. m/n looks inside the coffee shop again, noticing that this time beomgyu is looking back at him. beomgyu smiles and waves, while he leans against a broom. m/n can't help but smile back, pocketing his phone and walking through the door.

as soon as he's in the door, he sees the broom that beomgyu is leaning on slips and makes him fall over. he rushes over to beomgyu quickly, helping him back up. beomgyu blushes a bright red while m/n helps him back over to the counter despite being told numerous times that he's fine.

"seriously m/n-ssi, i'm fine." beomgyu giggles. he fucking giggles and suddenly there's a hand on his arm and somehow all the oxygen has left his lungs and why is it so suddenly hot?

"are you sure?" m/n asks again, checking for any injuries. beomgyu nods again, walking awkwardly back behind the counter.

"venti frap, three shots right?" beomgyu's eyes shine, a small blush coating his cheeks. m/n nods, handing over his coins.

beomgyu scoops them up but accidentally drops a few on the ground. after all the coins are picked up, yein suddenly appears by his side with a coffee in her hand.

"smooth move, casanova," she nudges him playfully, before handing the coffee to m/n. beomgyu blushes brightly, moving over to start cleaning the counter.

"thanks, i guess." m/n says awkwardly. "i'll see you later, yeah?"

he runs out the door, waving to them as he goes. he's a few metres away from the coffee shop before he does a happy dance because he didn't embarass himself in front of beomgyu.

(this doesn't erase his bad luck however. he manages to keep his coffee intact, but someone else spilled their coffee on him, he got attacked by a rabid cat and chased by a group of dogs on the way home.)

--

the next time m/n sees beomgyu, it's in the comfort of his own home.

but that doesn't mean, he's ready to face his crush.

m/n's woken up by minju's banshee scream, her high pitched tone filling his entire room. he wishes his first instinct was to cover his own ears but no, his first instinct is to get up and make sure the bathroom door is closed. (every time minju screams, the large mirror in their bathroom 'mysteriously' breaks. and the money that pays for it 'mysteriously' comes out of his own wallet.)

he walks into the living room and he knows he looks like a mess.

his hair is strewn everywhere, making him look like he just got zapped with lightning. he's wearing a plain white shirt but he's only one inside while the other half is wrapped around his shoulder, exposing his lower body. he's also wearing his rainbow briefs while he's got kittens on his socks.

m/n's barely got his other arm in the shirt before he hears a cough behind, where he's met with beomgyu's blushing face.

beomgyu looks like he's trying so hard to look away, he's got his face hidden behind one of his books but his eyes are visible at the top, (it certainly has nothing to do with the way his nose starts to bleed a little) while minju doesn't look much better herself.

she hadn't bothered to brush away her bangs and instead was trying to pour herself a cup of coffee, a large yawn escaping her lips.

"we, meaning me, wants you to make us breakfast," minju speaks like she doesn't know that she just embarrassed m/n in front of his crush. (to her credit, she probably doesn't. she occasionally leaves their apartment half naked because of her tired stupor.)

"uh, r-right." m/n stutters, running back to his room, locking gazes with beomgyu before his door swings shut.

minju eyes him weirdly as he goes. (usually he'd yell at her to stop being lazy and do it herself but he seemed to be too stunned to do anything. she'd have to bring beomgyu around more often.)

"is he okay, minju?" beomgyu puts the book down.

"he'll be fine," minju yawns again, wrinkling her nose. "i've already accomplished my duty as a best friend by bringing you here." she ignored beomgyu's questioning gaze, bringing her mug to her lips.

m/n walks out of his room, looking more presentable but also looking like he was going to cut a bitch. (in every case, minju.)

"give me that," m/n swiped minju's mug from her hands, taking a deep gulp of her bitter coffee. he ignored minju's scathing remark and turned to beomgyu, unstartled. "will pancakes be okay, beomgyu-ssi?" his voice took a much softer tone than when he spoke to minju.

"yes please, and i'd rather you'd just call me beomgyu, m/n-ssi." beomgyu smiled.

"then i would insist that you'd do the same, beomgyu-ah." m/n smiled, shooing minju out of his kitchen and getting the ingredients out.

minju huffs and takes a seat next to beomgyu, crossing her arms.

"are you ready to carry on, beomgyu-ah?" minju asks, wiping her face with a wet wipe.

"gimme a sec," beomgyu rests his head on his arms as he watches m/n move around in the kitchen.

m/n's got his headphones in his ears as he hums delightfully, flipping pancakes with ease. he dances his way around the kitchen, pulling out syrup and strawberries and eating utensils, preparing breakfast with a soft smile on his face.

beomgyu can't help but watch the other male with a dumb smile on his face, not looking away even when there's a steaming hot plate of pancakes in front of him.

"i hope you like them," m/n smiles, taking out his left headphone. he fucking smiles at beomgyu, who feels his entire being heat up. (beomgyu tries to ignore the way his heart pitter-patters in his chest. that traitor.)

when beomgyu takes a bite, he moans in delight. m/n pretends to not notice, shoveling his food in his mouth. (his blush totally does not give him away.)

"so m/n-ah," minju starts, taking back her mug and refilling it. "when's your next class?"

"i'm free today. my chemistry professor called in sick so he just emailed everybody their latest assignments. i'm going to die." m/n cringed, taking a sip of his water.

"i bet physics is looking pretty good right now, huh?" minju had a triumphant look on her face.

"people who take physics usually don't have a life, or friends." m/n flicked her forehead, distracting her long enough to steal her coffee again. "no offense, beomgyu-ah."

"none taken, m/n-ah." beomgyu shrugged his shoulders. "what do you study?"

"i'm making my life hard by majoring in dance with a minor in chemistry." m/n put his two thumbs, his entire being oozing with sarcasm. "commuting to two different campuses four times a week, what fun."

"that's like me!" beomgyu's eyes were a little wider. "i'm a vocal major with a minor in physics. moving between the two campuses is such a pain."

"does that mean you know soobin-hyung? i think he's a vocal major as well?" m/n asks.

"bunny-hyung?" beomgyu's eyes glaze over in realization. "he takes care of me, you know, being one year older. does that mean you're friends with yeonjun-hyung? he still owes me twenty dollars."

"soobin-hyung owes me fifty!" m/n almost yells. "but it's okay because he buys me lunch every other day."

"oh my god, they're perfect for each other." beomgyu rolls his eyes, stabbing his pancake with his fork.

"they're disgusting. i hate seeing them meet up, like they haven't seen each in a million years when in reality it's been like four hours." m/n agrees, wrinkling his nose.

minju looks between the two males, wondering how they could be so oblivious towards one another.

"they're idiots. idiots who hopelessly crush on each other." minju complained under her breath. she held up her phone, pretending to use it as a mirror, only to snap a pic of m/n and beomgyu interacting with each other, bright smiles on both of their faces.

m/n briefly looked at her, a weird look on his face.

"you'll thank me later." she smiled innocently, tapping her phone with a wink.

[ohnoyoonoh]

thirty days | jaehyun fanfic x reader | TRYOUTS DAY 2 | words | lowkey sexual jokes, but it’s really nothing | “italicized words like this” are them talking in english | italicized words like this are just thoughts

walking around that campus, you taken in the spring breeze. oh the sweet pollen that you didn’t miss. you were an exchange student from the maple trees of canada. you wanted to be part of the exchange program, so you can set foot of your grandparents’ homeland. luckily the university you attend in canada had an exchange program to south korea. you were surprised that the exchange student program was still accepting, usually they end during the beginning of the semester. there was an exception to those who were trying out for a sport, in which a certain family member would be. so, you were able to join him through the exchange student program. your younger brother had moved to south korea with you with high hopes of being part of his favorite college baseball team, the neo university’s neo dragons. he has dreamed to be a dragon ever since he was a liitle boy, but he did fall out of the college’s baseball’s loop once he committed to the college baseball of north america and major league baseball. 

you pulled your phone out of your pocket seeing if your brother texted you back. he didn’t really say when tryouts started or ended. you honestly wondered if he made any new friends. he always was able to make friends wherever he went. he was an open kid and wasn’t afraid to do anything. but, maybe the new air of south korea made him feel timid. you were worried, despite him being happy yesterday night. you were sure that he would be okay, you think. 

seeing there weren’t any new notifications, you sighed. maybe, south korean air has changed him to not talking to you, but you truly knew he was at tryouts, working his hardest. over dinner, he talked about how practice went. he ended up meeting the star pitcher from university of florida, jung jaehyun, and he was nervous that he wouldn’t reach the starter position or even the top five pitchers. he described this jung jaehyun as a little arrogant but defended him as players who try out must be arrogant and confident otherwise, you wouldn’t make the team. but, baseball players aren’t your thing anyways. dating isn’t your thing, no matter how many romance novels you enjoy. 

seeing your phone is already in your hand, you checked your schedule when you could head to the library and study for your classes and complete some assignments. it was a little too early for your brother to leave practice and too late for lunch, so it was perfect to fill empty time to head to the library. you wondered where the library was anyways, you barely knew the campus. you turned your head to see if any students were lingering around to ask where the library is. there weren’t any except two baseball players. are they late to practice? you decided to try your luck anyways, plus they were coming your way 

“hi, i don’t know if you guys are from here. but do you know where the library is?” you questioned. you looked at them, the bright blue dye showing through the shorter male’s baseball cap. the taller male had a natural hair color, but it was longer in length. it seemed similar to the hairstyle you’ve seen from the baseball team back in high school. never again.

“oh, we’re not from here. but we’ve been trying to find the baseball field entrance and we don’t know where it is, we saw the field we needed to be at but the gate there needed like a security pass or something like that. and no one was there, so we thought we went to the wrong one,” the blue-haired male answered, holding his phone up to show the message with the information to where they needed to be. “our team’s phones are off due to a rule from our coach, so we can’t call. the coaches and team manager aren’t picking up our calls.”

you understood, and your assumptions of them being from another university were confirmed. as a student of your university, it would be your job to show them where it was. “ah.. do you want me to show you both where it is?” 

“if you can, but we wouldn’t to take away from your study time,” the black-haired answered your question. you really didn’t have anything better to do anyways. major tests weren’t for another couple of weeks. your group project wasn’t mandatory, neither were any essays due. your part time job as a tutor wasn’t starting until later in the month. in addition to helping them, making friends between the university’s rival would be beneficial to the school, i guess. the baseball field wasn’t even that far. 

“i’m not that busy, plus it would be great to see my brother since it’s still tryouts for them. just follow me,” you smiled, walking the other way. picking up your brother from practice the day before helped you remember where the neo park was. you just needed to find shortcuts, just in case there was a time you were late to a game. today wouldn’t be the day to do that, just play it safe.

“so.. baseball team are all usually together. how did you guys get stranded? unless you’re trying out for the baseball team here,” you asked. the silence was bugging you and couldn’t do it anymore. you could see that they looked at each other, communicating with their eyes. something you and your brother would typically do when you both were in trouble from your mom. finally, the two came into conclusion as they stopped. you guessed that they were deciding who was going to answer as the blue-hared talked first.

“we got lost after eating lunch at the cafeteria. wooseok needed to use the bathroom, so i waited with him. when we got back to where everyone was waiting, they were gone because someone took too long,” he emphasized on someone by looking at him. wooseok threw his hands up in defense, “someone in the restroom was taking forever.”

the blue-haired male grumbled, “or, maybe you took too long taking pictures.”

before wooseok could defend himself, you interrupted them, “it’s okay. you guys will be there in no time.”

the rest of the walk there was silent. you made it to the actual baseball venue but needed to go around to arrive at the actual field. the taller fellow started bickering with the other quietly. you could easily hear what they were talking about. 

“ah, we were here earlier. i told you this was the right way.”

“no, you didn’t. you said that way was the right way.”

so they actually got here, how did they manage to walk ten minutes from the field? you shrugged it off, they probably had more reasons as to why they got separated. reaching the main field, you see multiple teams as the colors differed from the green that the neo dragons wore. 

“thank you for taking us here. we would’ve been late,” the two in front of you bowed in thanks. 

you waved it off, “nah, it’s no problem. have fun with your scrimmages!”

they both nodded. wooseok seemed to see their team, running off. the blue-haired male stayed, “so, i feel bad for taking your time to show us the field.”

“no, you’re good! i get to see my brother play.”

“i wanna pay you back somehow. is it okay if i get your number or like some sort of social media to contact you?” he held his phone out, the notes app opened. you laughed out of nervousness. this was definitely a first for you, well in college of course. typically people only needed your information to do a group project or work.

you taken the phone, wondering what you would give him. the only thing you could think of was your twitter and instagram. “you don’t have to pay me back, but..” your last word lingered as you typed in your social media handles. “here’s my twitter and instagram. i put both just in case.”

receiving his phone back, he bowed and a bright smile was showcased. you couldn’t help but smile back. he talked first, “well-”

the male was cut off by wooseok who came back to retrieve him, “kino, yah! coach is about kick your ass if you don’t hurry up. i told him you were in the restroom. i’m pretty sure he sees you because you’re the only who has bright ass blue hair.”

“well, i gotta go! thanks again, [name].” kino was dragged off by the taller kid. you laughed once they were gone. oh how you missed playing a sport and the relationship between players. watching them go, you were suddenly surprised by a voice behind you. you didn’t hear what they said but you knew that voice anywhere.

“kim dami, stop doing that!” you turned to look at her. “plus, why are you here?”

“just coming by to drop food off for my brother, which i did. then i saw you here with two guys. so...” the ending of her sentence turned sing-songy. you knew what that implied. 

“no. i don’t have a boyfriend. i gave him instagram, because he said he would pay me back,” you crossed your arms. of course, your best friend would tease you, because that’s what best friends are for.

“pay you back in what way?” she suggestively questioned.

“yah! i swear, nothing of that sorts. gosh, you’re so annoying,” you rolled your eyes. you knew dami since you were a baby. growing up, she always had jokes up her sleeves. she knew when to brighten up the mood especially to those who are close to her. 

she hugged you from the side, “you know you love me.”

you grumbled, but you agreed. she was truly a third of your rock. the other third was mark. the last third was gone and not taken by anyone. you didn’t think anyone would fill that void.

“i brought extra food, you wanna sit with me and watch the neo university versus yonsei?” she asked. you knew she was going to drag you anyways whether you liked it or not. to take the safer way, you hummed in agreement. she led you to where she was camping out for the next couple of hours to watch the games. “i heard this was the official cutting day.”

“really? i thought tryouts lasted till tomorrow?” you grabbed an apple slice, eating it as you watched the neo dragons and yonsei eagles finish their warm ups.

“yeah, but usually the last day of tryouts is to see the chemistry of their final decisions. they cut some people out on the results but that’s unlikely. they know who they want already,” she said. “plus the scrimmages last for a couple weeks. today and tomorrow are also to see whether the people they want are truly who they want, because games are typically show how they use their skills. you can practice all you want but if you can’t use those skills, you’re out.”

you nodded, understanding. you found that wooseok and kino were on yonsei university. i think i’m honestly stupid, i can never read sometimes. then, you see your brother with the other dragons. until, he got sent to the bullpen to practice pitching. you sighed, but as long as he makes it will be enough for you. probably not enough for him. 

“since there’s a bunch of players trying out due to the star pitcher from university of florida, they had to use the backup fields,” dami continued to talk. she’s all about sports.”but this field is for the people who have the most likeliness of making the team. i’m glad mark is doing his thing, he’s always been a really good baseball player. i’m just worried that neo dragons will continue plummeting ever since the 07 left for the MLB. but who knows, maybe they can change that. it’s the only sport we’ve not been doing so hot on. plus, they have multiple tournaments to go to. one of them is in japan!”

“damn. i just hope this is a good season for them.”

“me, too. look there he is, the infamous jung jaehyun.”

not gonna lie, but he’s kinda hot.

---

NEOZONE:

@jaehyunxyoonoh​ @powerstobe

[acatex]

Hey Snarklings!

  Are you surprised that I’m still alive? I know I am (lols am I even relevant anymore?) Before I get into my whole MCAT prep strategy, I just wanted to say that I’m sorry for leaving you guys in the dust. I have been very stressed lately and I just felt like I was letting you guys down which was why I made a really hard (but spontaneous) decision on my academic career. Of course I cannot comment right now on what I did/planning to do, but an upcoming blog post would be up in the next couple of days to explain the whole grey area that I was stuck in. Okay, it’s time to put away the tissue boxes and dive into every pre-meds worse nightmare: The Medical College Admissions Test (MCAT)

Disclaimer: This is my method and it may or may not work for you, so please take it with a grain of salt because, the way that I learn may be different from you, but it is a good idea to see how others approach this scary test.

What is the MCAT?

In short, the MCAT is a standardized test taken on a computer program to measure a prospective medical student’s potential to succeed medical school. Think of it as foreshadow of one’s ability to do well on painstakingly long exams that are cut up into blocks: Since most of medical schools in the US and Canada require doctors in training to take many board exams that can be 8-9 hours long.

Another reason why the MCAT is administered is to see whether the applicant can use background knowledge of the subject (biochemistry, biology, chemistry, psychology/sociology, physics, critical reasoning skills, etc) and integrate with other sciences to synthesize and draw an objective answer to a novel/unknown situation. This makes the MCAT different from others standardized tests such as SAT or ACT since these tests are more on memory recall and regurgitation, while the MCAT is more on integration and application to unknown situations. Think of it like this, when a doctor walks into a patient’s room, they know some things (the knowledge they’ve been taught in med school) and there’s probably things that they don’t know about a patient’s health, but when a doctor integrates what he/she knows and connect it to the unknown they can solve problems.

  What is the MCAT tested on?

Since, one of the reasons why the MCAT is administered is to test your endurance on future medical school board exams such as: USMLE step 1, step 2 CK, step 2 CS, Step 3  if you are in the United States or the MCCEE, NAC, MCCQE part 1, MCCQE part 2 in (Canadian boards), and Comlex Level 1, Level 2CE, Level 2PE, Level 3 (Osteopathic med schools/DO). They do this by testing you on undergraduate courses and are broken down into 4 sections/blocks

Chemical and Physical Foundations of Biological Systems

Critical Analysis and Reasoning Skills (CARS)

Biological and Biochemical Foundations of Living Systems

Psychological, Social and Biological Foundations of Behaviour

  Prior to Taking the MCAT

I highly recommend taking the required courses before taking the MCAT. The AAMC recommends to take the following pre-med classes:

Introductory (first year) Biology (2 semesters/1 year)

Introductory/General Chemistry (2 semesters/1 year)

Organic chemistry (2 semesters/1 year)

Biochemistry (1 semester)

Introductory Physics (2 semesters/1 year)

Psychology (1 semester)

Sociology (1 semester)

Now I never took a sociology class and I am planning on taking physics in my upcoming (and last) school year of uni. But that doesn’t really matter since you can just self study for it.

  Resources?

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So MCAT prep cannot be MCAT prep without a good set of MCAT books for you to review on. Now, there are many MCAT companies out there and a lot of people are confused on which one they would get to the point that everyone keeps on asking the same question: What books are YOU using? Hey, are those books good? Listen, your success on the MCAT does not depend on what company that you choose to get your books from. Why? Because it is you and how well you reviewed and practice those questions on a DAILY BASIS. I know people who got into med school by using Kaplan, I know people who got rejected who used Kaplan, and the same goes for other prep companies such as The Princeton Review, Examkrackers, The Berkely Review, etc. It doesn’t matter. Just pick one and stick with one. Do not. I repeat. DO NOT BUY TWO BOOKS OF THE SAME SUBJECT BECAUSE YOU THINK THAT ONE COMPANY DOES A BETTER “JOB.’ Again, It is you who will determine your own success, not a book.

Now, for me, I was about to buy the Kaplan MCAT series but, my mother surpised me on my 21st birthday with the NextStep MCAT Content Review and Practice Passages. At first, I was bummed out but as I went along, I realized that the books are doing its job: Helping me review what I learned in undergrad (wipes tears away; literally every time I turn a page I get flashbacks). And the best part is: It was free since it was my birthday gift so I did not have to spend a dime.

When I found something that I did not fully understand or the book did not give me a detailed answer I usually used Khan Academy videos (There’s a whole section just for the MCAT with practice problems). Other videos/channels worth mentioning:

AK Lectures for biochemistry and general chemistry (his explanations for thermodynamics is so straight to the point, they’re super clutch)

The Organic Chemistry Tutor: MCAT Test Prep General Chemistry Review Study Guide Part 1 and MCAT General Chemistry Lectures Review Prep Part 2 – Equations & Practice Questions

Leah4SciMCAT for doing MCAT Math Without a Calculator and Amino Acids for MCAT/Biochem students. I also looked at Fischer Projections for MCAT Orgo and Biochemistry which helped so much since she sues fun mnemonics and straight to the point concepts that just makes the learning fun and easy.

Bozeman science for their anatomy and physiology sections for every organ system mentioned in the biology MCAT book. I also looked at a video or two from the AP chemistry, AP biology, and AP physics (which I remembered fondly back in high school and so I’m familiar with them thus, I didn’t look at every video but just ones that I had trouble with, ex: transcription vs translation.)

  My method for studying: I tend to study in rotations or two chapters of the same subject a day until completion. The image below is how that looks like in my mini day planner:

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Since I do not have a job nor am I in school during the summer I was able to study for 8 hours a day and found myself going through rotations quicker than I expected. Before I go to bed I reviewed what I learned and anything that I do not finished I would have to finish in the morning before starting a new rotation.

  Active Learning

So when I start a new chapter I use my metacognitive abilities: What do I know vs what do I don’t know.

Let’s take the endocrine system as an example. I know that the endocrine is invovled in hormone secretion and regulation of the metabolic oathways that maintains homeostasis. I know an example of this would be aldosterone (a steroid hormone) and vasopressin (a peptide) hormone helps regulate homeostasis by repsonding to low fluid levels and by increasing fluid retention. But what I do not know is how exactly they achieve this: thus when I’m studying that’s my goal or my purpose. I am learning to apply and find answers to my questions.

Every time a paragraph says something about a hormone I would turn it into a question and write the answer in my own words. Here’s an example on tropic versus non tropic hormones:

In orange I wrote the section of the chapter: Regulation

I wrote a capital Q for question and A for answer.

And sometimes I write a little flow chart for easy summary of what I learned

The reason why I used this system was for 3 reasons: (1) By writing out the section in a different colour, it acts as a study guide (you know with all the topics/questions pertaining to one part of the chapter for a test). (2) Turning the info in a paragraph into a question and answers makes it interactive and makes you think about what you are learning; sort of like flashcards. I would cover the answer portion with another piece of paper and just talk/aggressively whisper out the answer (the answer doesn’t have to be word by word but just similar to what it is). (3) When it is time for revision: Your notes are in a Q/A format or like test which is better than writing a bunch of notes and just passively looking over.

Here’s another one on the hypothalamus-anterior pituitary-adrenal cortex axis (HPA)

As you can see I love flow charts for sequential pathways and showing the cause and effects of each step (what increases or decreases, which hormone is involved, etc)

I will write a more detailed post on what I put into my MCAT notebooks and what I look for when reading or extracting information from the review books. So just hold on and be patient.

  Practice, Practice, Practice

Knowledge is power but practice makes perfect. Remember that the MCAT will not really test your ability to recall facts straight from the book; this is not a trivia show. It is your ability to apply known information (your MCAT content review) and integrate them with other information in an unknown situation (the MCAT passages). That’s why I like that my MCAT books have practice passages at the end of each chapter. I also bought extra practice passages from NextStep because they really do help me understand the content and the timing. If you do not have practice passages right now, go to the Khan academy MCAT section and there’s loads of them (but they are really easy though).

Also, I really enjoyed watching videos on YouTube on how to approach passages and seeing what other people’s strategies and methods are. I tend to integrate what others do with my own method, but everyone is different so just take it with a grain of salt. Here are a couple of my favorite Youtubers, one of which is actually my best friend.

Amanda and Rich Show: MCAT Biology Passage Breakdown

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Biochemistry Tutorial 1 (Amino Acids) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT Biology/Biochemistry Passage Analysis (Acetylcholine) – CurveSetter MCAT Prep

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Chemistry Tutorial 3 (Titration Passage) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Chemistry/Physics Selected MC 1 – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: Electricity and Magnetism MCAT Physics Passage – CurveSetter MCAT Prep

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 Biology Tutorial 1 (Neuron Passage) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 CARS Tutorial 1 (Passage) – CurveSetter Tutoring

CurveSetter: MCAT 2015 CARS Tutorial 1 (Questions) – CurveSetter Tutoring

SecondChance MCAT: MCAT Science Passage Breakdown #1

SecondChance MCAT: Full MCAT CARS Passage Breakdown (98% CARS Scorer)

Bless her Health: CARS WORKSHOP 08/24

Bless her Health: CARS WORKSHOP 08/28

  After going through a few passages or so, review your mistakes! Then again look up your Q/A notes and see where you went wrong. When you do this, you’re allocating your attention areas that need it. This really helped me retain information whilst, practicing applying concepts with other concepts. Another reason why, is that the questions on the MCAT are really different from your college classes. Again, you’re not regurgitating facts out, you’re applying what you know with what you don’t know by looking at superficial similarities and coming up with the best answer. Since this is a new skill, the only way to learn it is through practice.

I am planning on making a post about how I breakdown science and CARS passages as well so stay tuned.

Spaced Repetition Is Key

One of the keys to success for the MCAT is repetition for retention. If you do not review, you will forget it. That’s why I always made sure that after a section of a chapter I would look over what I had so far and really try to understand what I just learned and see how it relates to other chapters or to the other subjects in one way or another to get the BIG PICTURE. Then, before I go to sleep I will look over at the chapter again as a whole and annotate anything that I think needs more detail. Then the next day before starting a new chapter, I quickly look at all the previous chapters by talking aloud (or aggressively whispering if you’re around people, sorry to the girl at Starbucks who has to put up with my) and just make connections to it. Over time, I looked at all the previous chapters so much that I can recall many concepts.

Review while making your Q/A notes

review after making your Q/A notes

Look at your Q/A notes before you go to bed

Before starting a new chapter, look at all the previous Q/A notes to refresh your memory

1 day later look at your old Q/A notes then maybe 3 days later do it again

Congratulations, all the info you’ve mastered are now stored in your long term memory. It is permanent until you die (unless if you get amnesia).

  I hope this helps make up for my absence and don’t worry, I will post more on MCAT prep. So ciao for now, and stay flossy everyone.

  How I Prepare for the MCAT Part 1 Hey Snarklings! Are you surprised that I'm still alive? I know I am (lols am I even relevant anymore?) Before I get into my whole MCAT prep strategy, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for leaving you guys in the dust.

[letmeletmetrashyourlove]

Not This Time Pt. 2

Summary: After a blowout fight, Billy has to find a way to make things right with his girl.

Authors Note: This is long. Very long... Like... five pages long. I was listening to The Last Time by Taylor Swift when I wrote this... Now that I’m reading it back, I don’t really see how much the song actually influenced the way I wrote it, but it’s a good song period. So listen to it. Even if you don’t like Taylor Swift, you’ll like this song. 

I have decided that I’m going to take requests! I really have a hard time writing them, though! Maybe I’ll reblog some prompts and you can send them in. 

Thanks for the love on the first part of this! I love you guys! All feedback is appreciated (even if you hated it)

REQUESTS ARE OPEN

(Part 1 HERE)

    “Hey, are you guys okay!?” I gasped, sprinting to the front door and embracing the kids as they filed in. 

Dustin, Lucas, and Max instantly wrapped their arms around my torso, nearly bowling me over.  

     “Are you okay?” They questioned, their eyes flitting up to meet mine.

     “Fine, why?” 

     “We saw Billy walking home… He was a wreck.” Lucas explained. 

I let out a sigh, a twinge of pain striking me in the heart. Of course, he looked a mess. Not only had I gone off on him, he was presumably going home to a drunk father who would beat the shit out of him if he didn’t bring his little sister home.     

 “Yeah. That was nothing.” I fibbed, glancing up to meet Steve standing in the doorway, his face looking worse than it had when the kids kidnapped him and threw him in Billy’s car.     

  “Jesus!” I exclaimed. He had a split above his eyebrow and another on his lower lip as well as a blackened eye that was turning an eerie green color. I couldn't help but smirk at the multicolored bandaids the kids had slapped on his scrapes, though.    

 “Yeah. This is nothing.” He mocked my tone from earlier, seeing right through my lie.

He and I held eye contact for a few moments, both deciding not to talk about it in front of the kids who probably just had the most terrifying night of their lives.

    “You all need a ride home?” I asked the kids.     

    “Yes, please!” Lucas sighed, sinking into the couch exhaustively.     

    “Are you good to drive?” I questioned Steve.         “If a 13-year-old girl  got me here and back in one piece, I think I can handle it.”  He smirked. Max crossed her arms and beamed proudly. I ruffled her hair, much to her chagrin.       “I’ve got Max and Lucas if you’ve got Dustin and Mike.”  I offered. The kids grabbed their backpacks and plodded out to the cars. Max excitedly bounded over to the driver’s side of Billy’s Camaro, opening the door.       “Nuh-uh. Keys.” I instructed, holding out my hand. She rolled her eyes and reluctantly handed them over. I climbed into the driver’s seat, laughing at how far forward she had to move the seat to be able to reach the peddles.       “What!?” She questioned defensively.             “I can’t believe you did that.” I laughed, causing both her and Lucas erupt into laughter as well.          “Alright, you hooligans.” I teased, “Let’s get you home.” I yanked the door shut and started the engine. That’s when the scent of his cologne and cigarette smoke hit my nostrils. That pang in my heart returned, looking back at when we used to cruise around in his car with the windows rolled down, singing at the top of our lungs to the radio. I cleared my throat in an attempt to clear the lump that was caught there.                “Alright, Lucas. Where to?”

****** 

I pulled the Camaro into the Hargrove’s driveway, parking it in its usual spot. I nudged Max on the shoulder to wake her up, she had fallen asleep only a couple minutes after we left the Byers’ house.

    “Come on, kiddo.”

I climbed out of the car hesitantly, not wanting to have to face Billy, if he was even home yet. But I couldn’t just leave Max to get interrogated by her family as to why she was home so late.

    “Hey,” I alerted, passing her the car keys, “Give these back to your brother.”

She smirked deviously, shoving them into her pocket,

    “Max…” I warned, glaring at her.

    “Fine.” She sighed.

I had never actually met Billy’s parents, and that’s just the way he wanted it. He insisted that his stepmom was a whore and of course, I was fully aware of how his father behaved.

I knocked on the front door, praying to whoever the hell up above that Billy wasn’t the one to answer. Thankfully, a blonde woman appeared in the doorway,

    “Hey, you must be Mrs. Hargrove.” I smiled as she opened the door.

    “Maxine, where have you been!?” She gasped, tugging her daughter through the door and into an embrace.

    “I’m so sorry, ma’am. She told me that you knew where she was.”

    “What were you guys doing?!” She interrogated.

I couldn’t fault her for panicking. Her 13-year-old daughter goes missing in the middle of the night and comes home with some stranger.

    “We got paired up through a tutoring program at school.” Max lied.

I silently thanked her for coming up with a somewhat valid excuse.

    “Yeah, we were working on a science project.” I began, hoping to keep track of my lies so I wouldn’t get Max in trouble. I knew all too well what would happen if I didn’t.

    “About human anatomy!” Max chimed in.

    “When we were finished, we went out to eat.” I proceeded, “The diner on Elm. And then my car broke down… We waited two hours for a tow before I decided to walk her home.”

    “Well, thanks for getting her home safe.” Her mom smiled, “Do you need a ride home? My son cou-”

    “Oh. No. That’s alright, really. I live just up the road.” I interjected abruptly, “Night, Max. I’ll see you later.”  

I watched her as she ascended the stairs, peering up at someone who was hiding just out of view. I assumed Billy was listening in to the conversation.

    “Night, Ms. Hargrove.” I grinned as she closed the door.

***** 

I flipped the lights on in my bedroom, my eyes instantly fixing on Billy’s denim jacket that was folded in half and draped across the end of the bed.

    “Fuck.” I whimpered, running my hands through my hair and biting my lip. 

Part of me wishes I had held my tongue. Telling him he was like his father was a step too far, and I knew it. I knew it when I said it. But I was just so infuriated. I yanked the jacket from my bed, cramming it into the bottom of my laundry basket and burying it under clothes.

The phone sounded from the other room. I knew instantly who it was, and I couldn’t bear to answer it. I was exhausted enough as it was, without getting into another argument.

****

    “Did something happen last night?” My mom asked as she handed me a cup of coffee.

    “Why do you ask?” I yawned, gladly taking the warm mug.

She led me into the kitchen, where the largest bouquet I had ever seen sat on the table. Roses and peonies interspersed with buttercups and hydrangeas. I approached the arrangement, reaching for the card that was attached to the vase.

                                        I love you, I’m sorry. - B

    “Wow, he really dug deep for that one,” I muttered, crumpling up the card and tossing it into the trash can.

    “That bad, huh?” My mom questioned.

    “Oh, you have no idea, mama.” I groaned.

******

I was placing my books in my locker when the familiar waft of cigarette smoke and cologne hit my nose. A pair of booted feet peered out from under the door,

    “Billy-” I began, closing my eyes and bracing myself for the ensuing conversation.

I closed my locker and faced him. His eyes were red, from crying or from lack of sleep. Maybe both. What I initially thought were bags under his eyes I could now see were bruises.

I pursed my lips, wanting nothing more than to grab his face and get a closer look, to let him tell me what happened.

    “I’m so sorry.” He proclaimed, reaching his hand out and attempting to place it on my hip.

I stepped back, forcing him to miss. I wasn’t just going to take him back this time, and I know that’s what he was expecting from me.

We fight, I give him the silent treatment for a little while. He comes crawling back, tail between his legs, crying. Over and over and over again.

    “Can we not have this conversation now?” I pleaded, adjusting my books in my arms,     “I’ve got a test and class starts in like, five minutes.”

    “Please, I have to talk to you.” He begged, his voice cracking.

I winced, again, the urge to hold him tried to take over my body. I can’t lie and say that I didn’t crave his touch, but I couldn’t give him the satisfaction yet.

    “What is there to talk about?” I whispered, not wanting to make our fallout the talk of the school.

    “What do I need to do for you to forgive me?” He sought.  

    “You could start by apologizing,” I hinted.

    “I called you, I left messages. I have apologized.” He whimpered.

    “Not to me,” I replied.

    “What? To who?”

    “If you don’t know, then I can’t help you.” I ended, closing my locker and brushing past him.

    “Hey,” He called over his shoulder.

I glanced back at him,

    “Thanks for getting Max home.”

    “Of course.”

****

I wandered outside the school as the bell rang, having to remind myself not to walk to Billy’s car like always. He was sitting on the hood of his car, smoking a cigarette and waiting for Max who was approaching with Lucas.

To my surprise, he called Lucas over to him. I couldn’t hear their conversation, but the expression on Max’s face told me that she was perplexed. Their brief conversation ended with Lucas calmly walking away, glancing over his shoulder a couple of times. Billy and Max climbed into the Camaro before speeding off down the road.

I ambled up to Lucas,

    “Hey!” I greeted, “What was that about?”

    “What? With Billy?” Lucas asked, adjusting his backpack on his shoulders.

    “Yeah.”

    “He said sorry for last night,” Lucas told, shock still printed on his face.

    “Really?” I grinned, glad that he had taken the initiative to make things right.

    “Yeah, see ya!” He beamed, mounting his bike and peddling over to meet Mike and Dustin.

**** 

I dug in my backpack for my keys as I approached my porch, not noticing the figure sitting on the stoop.

    “Jesus, you scared me!” I gasped, recognizing the person sitting there, his head in his hands. Between his fingers, I saw red liquid.

    “Hey, are you bleeding?” I suspected, taking a seat beside him on the stoop. I grabbed his hand and pulled it away from his face. I tucked my hand under his chin, turning him to look at me.

A deep, red gash ran across his lower lip as well as a split in the skin above his eyebrow. Not to mention his bloodied knuckles from his fight the night before. Blood was quickly pooling at the surface.

I took Billy’s wrist once more and pulled him to his feet and into the house. I directed him to sit at the kitchen table. He flung his jacket off his shoulders before throwing himself back in his seat, tilting his head back and closing his eyes.  

    “What happened?” I murmured, even though I was pretty sure I knew the answer already. Billy let out a groan,

    “Shit.” He cursed. I don’t know if that was his answer or if it was just his expression of pain.

    “Alright, look at me,” I ordered, standing in front of him. He reluctantly turned his head toward me, gazing up into my eyes. They were pleading as they stared up at me. I averted my gaze and pulled out a piece of gauze, soaking it with alcohol before swiping it across his lip. He let out a pained hiss, instinctively pulling away from me.

    “Sorry.” I murmured, cleaning away the dried blood before turning back to the first aid kit. I pulled out a couple of butterfly bandages so I could pull the sides of his wound together. In reality, he needed stitches, but I doubt I could convince him to go to a hospital. I peeled the back off the bandages, attaching one end to one side of his lip before stretching it over to the other side.  

    “Shit!” He hissed, wincing as I pulled his bruised lip together.

    “I know, I’m almost done.” I reassured, pressing the other side of the bandage to his upper lip, “There.”

    “What happened?” I repeated, taking a seat at the table beside him.

    “I skipped basketball practice. He got pissed.” Billy admitted, “Something about needing a college scholarship.”

He and I stared at each other for a second, neither of us knowing what to say. I looked down at the floor, taking a deep breath.

    “I-uh… Lucas told me what you said to him.” I broke the silence.

    “Max and I talked in the car, too.” He informed, “She...  She really likes you, ya know? Told me to stop being such an asshole and to come see you.”

If there was one thing he had in common with his stepsister, it was their bluntness.

    “I… I really am sorry… I know that just saying it isn’t enough. But. I love you… and you’re the first person I’ve ever really loved and I don’t want to lose you just because I can’t control my temper.”  

There they were again. Those damn tears that like to show up at the most inconvenient of times. They welled up in my eyes, slowly spilling out onto my cheeks.

    “I want to do better… but I can’t do it without you.” He choked.

    “Goddammit, Billy.” I sighed, getting to my feet and shuffling over to him. I stood between his legs as he threw his arms around my waist.  He balled my shirt up in his fists as he started to sob. The sobs wracked his body, his chest heaving as he wailed into my shirt. I pulled him to his feet and threw my arms around his neck, pressing kisses against his jaw.  

    “I’m so sorry.” He wept into my neck, “I’m so, so, so sorry.”  

I brought my hands up to the sides of his face, pulling him away so he would look at me.

    “It’s okay.” I reassured, resting my forehead against his, “I’m sorry too.”

He pressed his bloody, snot covered lips to mine. I melted into him, bracing my body on his. Billy attempted to deepen the kiss, only to wince and pull away, grabbing at his split lip.

    “Go upstairs and lay down, I’ll get you some ice.” I directed, giving him one last ginger kiss on the lips.

He nodded, wiping his nose on and trudging up the stairs.

I grabbed a bag of peas from the freezer and wrapped it in a dish towel before joining him. He was sat on the edge of my bed, clutching my teddy bear in his lap. I couldn’t help but stare for a moment. I was used to seeing Billy broken down over his father, but not used to seeing him look so innocent. The way he sat there with a toy tucked under his chin… It was sickeningly sweet.

    “Here.” I handed him the peas. He placed them on his face, reaching out to me with his free hand. I took a seat beside him, the weight on the mattress shifting so that we bumped shoulders.

    “I love you.” He murmured, leaning his head on my shoulder.

    “I love you, too. Even though you got snot all over my new shirt.”  I teased, tucking a strand of his hair behind his ear.

He let out a breathy chuckle, his bloodshot eyes meeting mine,

    “You look exhausted,” I noted, twirling his hair around my finger.

    “I am.” He sighed, closing his eyes.

    “Lay down,” I instructed, kicking off my shoes.

He did the same before tucking his legs under my bedsheets. I climbed in beside him, allowing him to rest his head on my chest. I pressed a kiss to the top of his head before closing my eyes.

    “I love you.” He repeated, wrapping his arm around my torso.

    “I love you, too.” I echoed.

[fyeah-namjin]

Hi!!! I'd like to ask you if you have any Namjin fic recommendations for us? Thank you very much for sharing the love for Jin and Joonie! 💜

Hi~ I love your blog! I was wondering what your favorite namjin fics are? Have a fantastic 2018! - anonymous

hello anons~ I hope you both have a great year ahead and thank you so much for loving the namjin blog ^^!~ i had to think for some time in how to answer this and these are all the ones i can rec that i really love. Also, personally I’m a huge bottom!Jin fan (in all Jin ships) so all these fics are bottom!Jin.. I’ll add “mature” in the ones where there’s smut included but some of these don’t necessarily have that. I hope these are fine so far ^^

the shaman and the exorcist (angst. ongoing): Seokjin doesn’t believe in ghosts. Namjoon does believe in ghosts.

The Most Beautiful Moments in Life and What’s Loved Most in this World (college au. ongoing): Kim Namjoon is stuck with the obnoxiously good-looking, obnoxiously wealthy, and obnoxiously sociable Kim Seokjin for a music project worth 40% of their grade.

They Say it Takes a Village (But I Think I Just Need You) (ongoing. abo verse): It has been one thousand three hundred and eighty-four days since he’s last seen Seokjin. Not that he’s counting or anything.OR The day Namjoon meets two little boys that he didn’t know existed and everything that happens after.

let’s not hurt anymore (so much angst u cry, au, homophobia): They don’t talk about it, and usually no one thinks to ask. But if you did, Namjoon and Seokjin would tell. 

Fate Led Me To You (Now Let Me Love You) (abo verse): Seokjin did not believe he’d ever have a happy ending. How many happy endings did you ever hear an unmated Omega with a child have?

beta tau sigma (college au): A collection of events occurring within (and without) the walls of the Beta Tau Sigma fraternity house.

Can I Get Your Dewey Decimal Number? (librarian au. humor): Seokjin loved working at the library, but some patrons got on his nerves. Take, for example, the grown man who sat in the corner every day and leeched off of the Wi-Fi.

all you need is love (and pink) (au, humor): Most people only have one miniature angel or devil riding on their shoulders to serve as the physical manifestation of their conscience. Poor Namjoon has five, and they’re all telling him the same thing: “fucking talk to him god dammit what the fuck is wrong with you”

listen to my heart (can you hear it sing) (abo verse, mature, angst): Seokjin wasn’t his, but he was still as every bit of ‘his’ as the rest of the wolves in the pack, and Namjoon was going to have to learn to live with that.In which Namjoon constantly, to everyone’s disappointment, fucks up.

Light of my life, fire in my loins (be a good baby, do what I want) (mature, mafia au): Namjoon exudes power in everything that he does.

I Dream in the Shape of Your Mouth (college au): Seokjin spends a lot of time in the library. Now, Namjoon does too.

hapless (mature, abo verse): Seokjin’s heat comes a little early but Namjoon is still there to help him through it.

an interruption (mature): Namjoon needs to focus, but Jin has other ideas. Also how difficult is it to be emotionless while discreetly getting head under a desk? Kim Namjoon is about to find out.

trouble in paradise (angst): Bangtan have to do a cute concept, which isn’t nearly as much fun as it sounds.

charmed (fantasy au, angst?, fluff): "So you’re not going to eat me?“ Seokjin asks, just to confirm.“Why would I eat you?”“Because you’re a dragon,” Seokjin says slowly, because it should be obvious, despite Namjoon not looking very dragon-y at all. Namjoon looks unimpressed. “I may be a dragon, but I’m not an animal.”

three’s company (mature, +yoongi): Namjoon might be able to physically dominate Seokjin, but he can never seem to get Jin as beautifully pliant and submissive as Yoongi can.

get on your knees (say pretty please) (mature, au): Seokjin hates Namjoon, and then of course, the two of them get stranded on a cabin in the middle of nowhere.

claimed (mature /no smut/, abo verse, angst): Kim Namjoon is a dud. He accidentally falls in love anyway and time goes by.

a sugar coated pill and a pick me up (mature, fluff, humor, they switch but my petty self skipped the part where jin tops LOL): Namjoon refused to acknowledge him. What the fuck was this guy’s deal? Was he really that bitter that his six-year-old just lost a soccer game for six-year-olds?

heart of war (omega verse, ongoing?): For the protection of his people, Prince Seokjin has to marry his fiancé’s killer: the alpha king of the most ruthless and feared kingdom in all the lands with a reputation of being a cold blooded monster on the battlefield.

superb (humor, au): Namjoon is the God of Destruction, as well as the caretaker of three kids, and his kitchen nearly burns down thanks to his attempts to cook an egg but thank god, Kim Seokjin - his saviour, his superhero, his God of Kitchen - lives right upstairs. 

love doesn’t cost a thing (au): In an act of rare stupidity, rich executive’s son Kim Namjoon decides to live like the middle class for a week. The only good part is the manager of McDonald’s.

When Push Comes to Shove, Bribe Him with Ass (mature, abo verse): Namjoon was abstaining sex from Jin just because he’s afraid of hurting Jin or the babies. Can you guess how Jin responds to the this?

trust (mature, +jungkook): “Do you trust me?” Namjoon pulled back and stared down at the older man, gaze serious.

awake (angst): All Seokjin needs to do is write his solo song for the album. All Namjoon needs to do is be a leader to his hyung. And all they both need is something in the future, something beyond the words, something unspoken, hanging in the future.

deal with a demon (mature, incubus au): A Friday night hangout in a bar. A rumor about a sex demon killing people. And a bunch of guys who doesn’t believe in it. Too bad that the incubus is already onto one of them…

you are beautiful in every way (mature, fluff): When Jin gets hurt, and starts to question his value, Namjoon is there to show him just how valuable he is.

over the city with blinking lights, i’ll take you. (mature): Namjoon is rich and he likes to spoil Seokjin with love, sex and ice cream. And they’re both madly in love.

you’re beautiful (au, fluff): Jin was tired of hearing the same thing from men.

foiled again (mature, humor): Five times Namjin get interrupted while having sex, and one time they don’t.

if life was a love song (humor): Soulmate AU where whatever song you have in your head, so does your soulmate; plus you and your soulmate have the same favourite song, and when you meet it plays out loud.

bullets (spy au): Seokjin gets captured in a mission, and there’s no way Namjoon’s going to let him just become a statistic.

getaway (mature, domestic au): “Jesus, Namjoon, please stop,“

bet you won’t (mature, humor, college au): Taehyung dares Seokjin to take a selfie while having sex with Namjoon, and the group chat ends up getting more than it bargained for.

in case of emergency (mafia au, humor): In Case of Emergency (ICE): a program that enables paramedics, police officers, and hospital personnel to contact the next of kin of the owner of a cell phone in order to obtain important medical or support information.

grapefruit (mature): "Grapefruit is actually the best way to describe my situation. Bitter and sweet. But mostly enjoyable.” Fox!Jin verse.

look here (don’t run away) (mature, abo verse): hoseok was late and seokjin was desperate. an alpha came in and really, he didn’t have much choice.

nothing is worthless (mature /no smut/, angst): The moment a person is born into the world they are given a superpower. 

till death do us ‘part (angst, major character death): Namjoon and Seokjin are trapped on the bottom of a sunk ferry.

pack mentality (mature, abo verse): Namjoon is possessive.

Are you an EQUATION? Cuz I would love to SOLVE YOU (mature, humor, college au): “None of my friends are good at math and I need a tutor but you are very intimidating”

[thepippapotamus]

Cardiff’s Women in Music Exhibition

In 2018 I was lucky enough to be asked to contribute to and exhibit in the brilliant Cardiff Women in Music Week, as curated by the unstoppable and Liz Hunt of The Moon in Cardiff, without whom the Cardiff music scene would be all the more poorer.

Anais Mitchell, Clwb Ifor Bach

Islet, Swn Festival

Gryff Rhys, Clwb Ifor Bach

Y Niwl, Swn Festival

Strange News From Another Star, Undertone

Joanna Gruesome, Swn Festival

Below is my accompanying essay:

Mine is a wandering road through music. There is no real start or end as I’ve been involved in all aspects of making, playing and managing. Photography and writing were always passions of mine and I studied each formally as well just having fun with them. Those, combined with a love of music, a background in opera, a musician mother, partner and friends meant some level of involvement was inevitable. A naturally organised and (ever so slightly) bossy person, I started helping my partner Joshua Caole and others with booking their shows and tours. I enjoyed the romance of packing a car up and driving around Europe on tour with Josh. There was some blagging and bullshitting at first and a very steep learning curve. I put together press packs from guides on the internet to sell these acts to venues and promoters. I started emailing and phoning people blindly and the ones who responded I built working relationships with for future acts. Booking my first tour for a US act (James Apollo) I came up against a very well-respected London promoter who both called me out on my blagging but also respected me for trying so hard to get this band the best shows I could. After a couple of successful tours, more people asked me to book for them. My biggest project to date was a tour for Christiaan Webb, Jimmy Webb’s son, which was crafted with a lot of love together with his Welsh brothers, the Musicbox studios and rehearsal rooms crew. Musicbox is the lifeblood of Cardiff music and without Mark and Bernie we’d all be lost. A big tip. Spreadsheets are a booker’s friend. Many many spreadsheets. For contacts, tour day plans, keeping track of what gear the venue will provide, what length set the band has to play… have one for everything.

As I was already going to a lot of shows, I took my camera. It was a natural progression and felt like a higher level of interaction. Some of my shots proved popular when bands or events shared them online and found their way into the press. Taking photos of bands that you know gets you to the front of the crowd and from there, once you have work to show people, it’s not hard to get press passes or interest from others who want you to shoot them. I would often work as an official photographer at a festival which is where all my Sŵn shots come from. Approaching festivals and asking to take photos for free one year can lead to a more official position the next.

Everything I’ve done, however, including more recently helping a new venue with their programming, has been sporadic due to the fact that I have increasingly severe ME. When I enjoyed runs of moderately good health some years ago I could dip my toe into different waters, just a little - I could book bands, take photos, manage tours - but all in a very limited capacity. Other photographers could shoot all day, every day. I also required huge rest periods after the smallest amounts of activity so even during my best times I could never fully be immersed in music as my health always had to come first. Sadly, as my disease has progressed and I have become far more severely affected, my involvement in the industry has understandably waned. The majority of the last 5 years have been spent in bed, in hospital or in a wheelchair so it means a lot personally that anyone has noticed my contributions to Cardiff music, especially as a person with disabilities. I often worry I disappear from memory when I’m alone in my room, able only to watch the ceiling and unable to move even to the bathroom without help. The rights of those with disabilities is therefore as important to me as gender equality and I’ve been really happy to see projects like Gig Buddies come to Cardiff. Notably, however, whilst venues and promoters are more and more prepared for disabled customers, few are ever ready for disabled people in the industry itself. Trying to make sure my artist parking for a festival was accessible on walking sticks one year was incredibly complicated and issues like these seem to confuse whomever is at the other end of the phone as it’s just not expected. This is something I have had to confront much more often than sexism. Turning up on sticks, in a wheelchair and still commanding attention, trust and respect is distressingly difficult. Whenever I can take photos or interact with music, however, I do. Tenacity is definitely crucial. It has been a while since I could physically push my way to the front of a show and take photos though so these days I’m more of an email warrior.

Photography to me is the urge to capture real moments. I sometimes think this makes me less creative than other photographers who dream up magical landscapes, but that’s just not what interests me. It’s more about documenting emotion and moments in a visually interesting way, especially with live music. For that reason I never cared much for photographing stadium shows and big festivals, despite the visual artistry involved in the production. I prefer small venues and intimacy. Photographers I admire include Lomokev who is a wonderful guy based in Brighton who first came to the fore taking photos at raves on his then very unfashionable Russian Lomo cameras as he crawled through the grass.

I’ve always been able to project a confidence (it’s totally fake) and when needed, a slight arrogance. This has got me through moments where gender could have been a barrier, I think. Especially in photography. My tutor, the unforgettable “Dr Fred(ericks)” told me if you ever worried you didn’t belong somewhere or felt under-experienced for a shoot, turn up with all the gear you have and barge on through.

The relationship between women and anyone identifying as anything but male with the music industry is obviously a troubled one. I believe I possibly take a different stance to some people, however, due to a uniquely multi-generational view. My mother (though she loathes me to tell anyone) was the real trailblazer. She was a session player at some big studios whilst she was still unmentionably young. The stories she has told me; the assaults and assumption of women as complicit sexual objects regardless of their actual involvement in the music are disgusting and have influenced my view of a lot of industry big-hitters. They are also far removed from the still deep-rooted but nowhere near as toxic sexism I’ve encountered. She went and did it all though and lived through horrible situations for the love of music. Today, I truly believe there has been progress. I think it’s sometimes important to just recognise that instead of worrying how far there is still to go. Progress has occurred not just in the role women play in music but in the way in which we engage in discourse about gender, sex and even consent. It is important to remember women have always played key roles in music and sound engineering. There are women in every great rock story who showed up, got on with it and earned respect. Music was never a no-go area for women but we had to prove ourselves to an unjust degree and put up with a lot of shit and assumptions that men don’t have to. I feel like banging the drum incessantly about inequality in music sometimes does an injustice to all those in the industry who support everyone around them and lift each other up regardless of gender. There are some great people out there and they are the only way forward. No path is impossible for women in music; Sound engineers (one particular woman in Hamburg I will never forget), musicians (Liela Moss is one of the most underrated front-people in rock), bookers, tour managers, and the Liz Hunts of the world, who appear to somehow do everything, are making sure the roads that have been forged stay open and flow with more and more talent.

The best advice any woman in music ever gave to me was from Take That’s first booking agent, a wonderfully Ab Fab-esque woman who told me to go out there and “kill them with kindness”. She meant it as an all-encompassing ethos, but I feel it is especially pertinent to women in male-dominated spheres. For example, when the worst kind of promoters think they can walk all over a female tour manager because she’s no way going to stand up for the band and fight for the fee they’re owed that night and you respond with calm but strong insistence rather than shouting or cowering away it is then that you see something really interesting start to happen and they listen.

A great feat this year was to see how female-focussed the Cambridge Folk Festival line up was, without pretence or affect. These were women who simply needed to be there because they were the best. Previously some men may have got their slots through “old boys club” mentalities but we can see this is changing and merit is winning out. It is important to not fetishise women in music, however. I’ve seen awful “Girls with guitars” tours that don’t help anyone legitimise female achievement. Those terrible “female” monikers: “female” drummer, “female” sound engineer, etc, go hand in hand with fetishisation, but, our best way to obliterate them is to go out there, do our thing and educate anyone needing it along the way - exactly what exhibitions like this aim to do. I have come up against some women who demonise men just for being in the music industry and that upsets me deeply as it’s equality we want, not a war, and not positive discrimination. Social media sometimes makes us feel like we are all competing for photos to be seen, shows to be promoted but that’s not how things work. It works best when we all support each other’s endeavours regardless of gender. Community in all things is vital. The biggest challenge facing us is getting people excited about small shows in sweaty rooms and beautiful music again as attendance has dropped and caused the closure of so many wonderful, dirty places.

[secretagentspydetectiveninja]

The Misadventures of Prince Kim - chapter 12

(aka the royalty AU story)

[1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11] [AO3]

Max had wondered how easy it would be to tutor someone like Kim, but he needn’t have worried. For all his faults, one thing could always be said about Kim – he tried hard! Once he had set his mind to something, there was no stopping that boy. Now that he wanted to get better at school work for once, he was already improving in leaps and bounds, and Max couldn’t help but be incredibly proud of his best friend.

Kim was needing a lot less help with homework now too. He would at least attempt the questions on his own, sometimes referring to books in the library to help him out, and only if he was still stuck then he would ask Max for help. He really was being so considerate. It was so sweet! How could Chloé resist the charms of a guy like that? How could Alix too, for that matter? Kim was amazing! There was always something new to love about him!

“I’m an idiot,” was something Kim said a lot. It was true, Max had to admit. Kim really didn’t think anything through, he was always making rash decisions and getting into more trouble than he was supposed to.

“But you’re a lovable idiot,” was Max’s go-to reply. That was what mattered. Kim tried hard, he was a sweet person, he knew his faults and tried to fix them, there was just always something to love about him! And Max certainly loved him. He loved him a lot. Kim knew that.

Or at least… Kim knew part of that. Max had never told him the full extent of his feelings. How could he? It wasn’t like he would ever be able to act on them. Sure, even among the royals arranged marriages were rare these days, with people preferring to marry for love. Sure, even marrying commoners or people outside rank was not as frowned upon as it had been in the past. Sure, Kanté was a fairly tolerant kingdom, with more kinds of marriage legal than in many other parts of the world!

But still. Max was a prince, and so was Kim. Even if Kim did somehow miraculously love him back in the way he meant, what could they do? Would one or both of them have to abdicate? There was no way Max was going to, not when he was so looking forward to running the country with competence, and there was no way Kim would either, just considering the kind of person he was in general. Anyway, Kim didn’t even love him as anything other than a friend. No, there was no chance. It was time to move on.

Okay, so Max had been telling himself that for months already. Time to move on. But it was so much easier said than done! How could he just completely change the way he felt about someone? Why couldn’t love just be logical, like the sciences or mathematics? Why did it have to be the one thing that Max just couldn’t figure out, no matter how hard he tried?

“Ugh, I am so not looking forward to the winter holidays,” Kim said, pulling Max away from his thoughts. They were working quietly in the library again, and for once it seemed like Kim had actually finished his work faster than Max.

“Why not? Don’t you want a break?”

“Well yeah, but I’m gonna have to go back home and talk to my parents. They’re just gonna tell me off for getting a detention and they’ll keep asking me about duelling club and Adrien and I don’t know what to tell them, I just wish I could stay here over the holidays instead and talk to them some other time…”

“Why don’t you come and stay with me in my kingdom for the holidays?” Max asked, somewhat surprising himself at how much confidence he said it with. “You always said you wanted to visit Kanté and see all the tech. Speaking of tech, Alix’s kingdom is right next door and she does like to visit a lot with trade shipments, so you’d probably get to see her too once or twice.”

“You’d let me stay in your kingdom for the whole holiday?”

“Yes, of course! You’d be an honoured guest.”

“Max, that’s… that’s really nice of you! Thanks! I’d love to!”

Max smiled and looked down at his work, hoping he wasn’t blushing. Not that he blushed easily, since there was so much melanin in his skin it made blushing quite unnoticeable. But still, he could feel his face warming up…

“It’s totally unfair, though,” Kim continued. “You and Alix get all the cool tech from your kingdoms and no one else does. Why not?”

“Trade restrictions, Kim. Very luddite, I know.”

“Very what?”

“Many countries have historically been very isolationist and resistant to change, preferring to stubbornly stick to the old ways even when it hinders them. Keeping culture and tradition is one thing, and very important too, but refusing to implement things like vaccination schemes even in the face of epidemics? That’s just unreasonable.”

“Vaccinations… that’s like, polio and stuff, right? I think we’ve got that in Lê Chiến, or at least I remember getting needles stuck in my arm when I was a little kid. But what about the other cool stuff? Like plastic and wind turbines and all the other wonders of modern technology I keep hearing you and Alix talk about? I wanna know about those! Everyone does!”

“Everyone does? Hmm, perhaps I should do a class presentation after our next world kingdom study lesson. I’ll teach the whole class about all of this, I’m sure they’ll want to know.”

“That’s an awesome idea! I can’t wait!”

Max put his homework aside and started making a list of all the things to talk about to the class. Homework was all very well and good, but perhaps if he could convince these students to open up their borders to trade even a little bit by impressing them with tales of advanced technology, well, that would be making a real change in the world! Something like that was much more important than homework.

“I am sure many of you have horseless motor carriages in your kingdoms,” Max said, standing at the front of the class the next day as they all watched him intently. “More commonly known as cars, or automobiles. However, how many of you can honestly say that your kingdom produces enough cars at a low enough cost that it is commonplace for even fairly middle-class commoners to be able to afford them? How many of you can say that your kingdom’s cars look like this?”

He swiped a cloth off a mysterious object in front of him to reveal a projector on the table. Pressing a button on it, it projected an image of a very sleek, modern-looking car onto the plain wall behind it. Many of the classmates gasped and leaned forwards to get a better look, interested properly now.

“Yes, these are the kind of cars we have in my kingdom. They have heating, cooling, even a place which you can put in a cassette tape and play music. You could even tune into the local radio station while on the move, and adjust the volume!”

Pressing the button again, the next slide was a picture of a fuel pump. “Now, I know some of you may be wondering what these cars run on. It is diesel? Petrol? Well, some of them do. But recently we’ve been investing in cleaner types of fuel that don’t pollute the air so much, or that have been taken from renewable resources. And speaking of renewable resources…”

The next slide was a wind turbine, standing lonely atop a mountain. “We try to use renewable ways to produce electricity, too. I know all of you know at least a little about electricity. It’s used to power lightbulbs and streetlamps, after all. But there’s so much more to it than that! Have a look at this!”

He knew that most of the students weren’t entirely listening to the words he was saying, but all of them were now eagerly awaiting the next slide. Sure enough, pressing the button, a mysterious big box with a picture on it now appeared projected on the wall.

“Yes, that’s a television. A home device on which you can watch movies, programs specifically made for television, et cetera. I’ll admit they still have yet to catch on properly in my kingdom, but I can tell you that in Alix’s kingdom there’s barely a house left without a TV in it. And don’t think it means that cinemas are obsolete because don’t worry, they’re still thriving!”

Pressing the button for the next slide, he talked about 3D movies at the cinema. Colour movies. Then telephones. Then holograms, then proto-computers, colour cameras, plastic, ballpoint pens (much easier to use than the fiddly, smudgy fountain pens everyone else seemed to like so much…). The classmates became more and more enraptured with his every word.

“And now for something incredibly special,” he said, flicking to the next slide. “Yes. The aeroplane. I’m not just talking about simple gliders. I’m talking about jet aircrafts, the type that can carry passengers and cargo across entire continents in just a few hours. There are only a few countries in the world with airports, so somehow most people don’t even seem to know that aeroplanes do indeed exist and have done for decades already. The coolest part is: they can fly faster than the speed of sound!”

The effect was immediate. Even Chloé, who had been fiddling with her nails and trying not to look interested, had finally taken notice. Max knew most of these students would not have known that supersonic speeds were even possible. Yet they had indeed been achieved before, and they would again.

“And last but not least, the rocket engine.” Max changed the display to the final picture. “Though this hasn’t been achieved yet, rocket engines provide sufficiently high speeds that using them, we could send probes and satellites out of the planet’s atmosphere and into space itself. Real rockets are being built right as we speak. Who knows, within a few decades we might have humans in space too!”

Lady Caline herself was looking impressed now, standing at the back of the room and watching the presentation quietly. As for the rest of the classmates, it appeared that Max had done his job fantastically. Now to finish off and drive the point home.

“So, what can we learn from this presentation? We can learn that the policies our forbearers have implemented that restricts trade and sharing of knowledge between countries is outdated, and has no place in a world that is advancing as rapidly as ours. If we can begin changing things, lifting trade restrictions little by little, we can promote growth and prosperity everywhere, not just in the few kingdoms that are lucky enough to have tech like this. That isn’t to say that everywhere should end up exactly the same, devoid of individuality or culture, but that we should reach a respectful balance between keeping the heritage and pride of our countries, and adapting to the modern world to make life a more comfortable experience for everyone. Thank you all for listening, and I hope that was informative for you!”

The hearty applause and cheering from his classmates gave him hope that they had all learned some valuable lessons today, and that maybe the world would change in the future – even if just these 14 countries. It was a good start. He felt rather proud of himself as he packed up the projector, still basking in applause. Yes, maybe his country’s GDP wouldn’t overtake that of its neighbour. But if he had a worldwide impact instead? That was much more worth celebrating!

With the winter party edging closer and closer, Alya confronted Marinette with some rather interesting plans.

“I know how you feel about Adrien,” she said, “and I’m not saying it’s impossible for him to love you back even though he is a higher rank. I’m just saying you’re going to have to stop being a stuttering dork around him all the time and actually speak to him!”

“But I can’t!” Marinette sighed. “I used to be fine at talking to him, but then when he deflected Kim’s duel challenge so honourably, and was being so nice and wonderful and kind and perfect…”

“Yes, yes, you fell in love with him on the spot and now you suddenly can’t say a word in front of him. Anyway, you and I both know there’s going to be mistletoe at the winter party, so you better drag that boy under there and ask for a kiss, alright?”

“What?!” Marinette’s face flushed pink. “I can’t just do that, Alya! He’s an imperial prince! And I can’t make him kiss me, what if he doesn’t want to? That wouldn’t be nice!”

“I’m not saying you have to make him do it, I’m just saying you should take him under the mistletoe and ask him for one. That way it’ll be clear your intentions are romantic, and if he likes you and says yes then you’ll get a kiss out of it. Where’s the downside?”

“The downside is if I mess up, or he doesn’t like me, or–”

“Don’t worry, Marinette! You’ll never know if you don’t try, and you’re a lovely person! Even if he doesn’t love you like that, I can guarantee he’ll still think you’re awesome. Because you are.”

“Aww, Alya! You’re awesome too!” Marinette hugged Alya tightly. “And I guess I’ll try talking to him at the winter party then… but no guarantees on the mistletoe!”

“That’s fair enough. Go for it, Marinette, you’ve got this!”

Somewhere not too far away, Nino and Adrien were having a surprisingly similar conversation.

“Don’t think I haven’t noticed the way you look at Marinette,” Adrien said, raising his eyebrows playfully.

“Alright, fine, I like her!” Nino replied. “She’s really cute and amazing all of a sudden! I don’t know if it’s because I went to the autumn ball with her or what, but…”

“You should talk to her at the winter party. In fact, I hear there’ll be mistletoe, so why don’t you ask her for a mistletoe kiss?”

“No, I can’t do that! That would be embarrassing! What if my breath smells bad, or there’s something in my teeth, or if she thinks I’m weird for asking her and doesn’t want to do it, or–”

“You may as well try!” Adrien laughed. “At least speak to her, won’t you? I’ll be hanging around nearby if you need my help. I promise.”

“Thanks, Adrien. You’re right, maybe I should try talking to her properly. One-on-one.”

“Nice. You can do it, Nino.”

Adrien held out his fist, and Nino gently fist-bumped it.