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snakeboistan · 3 years

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3-E + KARASUNO + 1-A FRIENDSHIP GROUPS

Just a heads up that I don't really know that much about BNHA. Most of my knowledge comes from fanfics, tumblr posts and my bestie so some of these headcanons might be a bit OOC

Nagisa + Hinata + Midoriya

So I’ve already made posts about Nagisa, Hinata and Mido being the ultimate cinnamon roll trio who are the loves of my life, my sons and if anything happens to them I will kill everyone and then myself

Let me adopt them, please let me adopt them

I mean it is canon that Mama Midoriya is single right?...jk jk ... unless 👀

These precious babies are literally the sweetest guys ever and everyone’s ultimate hype men

They have their own protection squads and at least five people who have a crush on them (these bois be making people question their sexuality like it’s a past time)

They can also turn feral at any given moment and revert back to normal in a second

They act like its no big deal but they have legit traumatised people before

I know that Nagisa and Midoriya are ✨ notebook buddies ✨ but I like to think that Hinata keeps a volleyball journal like Kageyama (like the adorable boyfriend he is) and shows it off proudly to them and Nagisa and Mido are so proud of their tangerine bestie and they teach him how to make notes and analyse like they do and are just so pure (ILOVETHEMSOMUCHYOUHAVENOIDEA)

It’s a legit hazard to have them in the same place because the intensity of the combined smiles of a baby sunshine crow, baby sunshine snake and baby sunshine bunny can wipe out anyone in a 10 km radius

But what a way to go, am I right?

Also, I’m adding Yamaguchi here because he’s a sweetie who can and will end someone if they try to mess with Tsukki the people he cares about

Do not under any circumstances try to mess with the trio that is Nagi, Yama and Mido because they know all of your secrets and are not afraid to use that to their benefit

Isogai + Daichi + Iida

Did you mean: Dad Friends

Someone help them

It aint easy being a teen parent but they make it work

Also I’m a total simp for all three of them like Iida is everything I want IDKY I’m not saying its the glasses but its totally the glasses

Can and will do the disappointed dad stare. It is effective.

These three meet up to despair about their schoolmates and within five minutes one (or all) of them is getting a phone call because someone needs to be bailed out of jail

Isogai and Iida are class rep goals just saying

They love their classmates but why are they like this

Daichi: *watching Noya and Tanaka egg on the Terasaka gang to let them connect sleds on Yoshida’s motorbikes and go speed racing down the mountain* I ask myself that everyday

Just...someone give them a vacation and some aspirin because they need it

But not for too long because they are the few responsible ones

Midoriya: *mumbling* That’s funny considering that Iida tried to murder someone in cold blood

1-A members not aware of the Hosu Incident (so basically everyone except for Mido, Todo and Glasses Sonic): WHAT?!

Karma: Really? That’s weird. Nagisa tried to do that as well

3-E members that didn’t confront Takaoka: WAIT WHAT?!

Karasuno: *paling* who the f*ck are these people…

Fuwa + Nakamura + Kiyoko + Ashido + Aoyama

The ultimate shippers

Listen, look me in the eyes and tell me that Shimizu Kiyoko doesn’t ship her team and that she does not have a group chat with all of the other managers where they gossip about who’s dating who. Look me right in the eyes and tell me that does not happen.

These people know all of the gossip

Well actually Nagisa knows all of the tea in 3-E but Fuwa is a close second

Ultimate wingpeople

Kataoka + Ennoshita + Momo

I don’t want to say mum friend but they are the most responsible ones if Isogai, Daichi and Iida aren’t around

They are beings to be feared, you dont wanna cross them

There was once a time when all three of them are angered and everyone still has emotional scars to this day

The only ones who can control the chaos

Can also smack talk people like a pro

Have soft spots for the cinnamon rolls

Just imagine the three of them sitting around one of those circular umbrella tables outside of a cafe wearing matching sunglasses and drinking smoothies out of a straw as they judge everyone

Kimura + Hinata + Kageyama + Kirishima

GYM BUDDIES

Listen, there are athletes and there are athletes™

These boys are the latter

They race all of the time

I’m not kidding

Everything is a race

Arm wrestles galore

Hazama + Tsukishima + Tokoyami

Masters of snark

Looks like they can kill you, can actually kill you

Hang out with each other to get away from the stupidity of everyone around them

Hazama and Tokoyami are just chillin’ talking about demonic sacrifice and Tsukki’s like ‘you guys are more tolerable than the feral children I’ll stay here’

Literally have no cares at all

If you approach them they will make you cry

Chiba + Hayami + Kageyama + Todoroki

The chill kids

All they do is vibe in the background

They’re entire friendship is just *blank stare* *eye contact* *small nod*

And you know what? That’s valid

Are also totally willing to hide a body 24/7

Todo convinces the other three that his theories are legit

Terasaka Squad + Nishinoya + Tanaka + Bakusquad

CHAOS

That is it

Do I need to go on?

Kurahashi + Kouda

Soft bbys

Would die for them

Go on bug hunting expeditions

Hang out at petting zoos

Kurahashi has fallen in love with Kouda's bunnies as she should

Are proud parents of every single furry and crawlie critter on the E-Class mountain

Dont worry Nagisa gets to keep his snakes

Go to pet stores and animal shelters

pure cinnamon rolls

Maehara + Tanaka + Nishinoya + Kaminari

Best hype men

Praise each other like no other

Maehara and Calamari keep on getting annoyed because everyone keeps on pretending to not be able to tell the two apart

They can it's just that it's fun to mess with them

Karasuma + Ukai + Aizawa

The ‘I came here determined not to get attached and now I’ve adopted a gang of teenagers’

Are literally one second away from becoming alcoholics

Are constantly ready to ‘subtly’ brag about how their students are improving in training

Karasuma and Aizawa go over sparring procedures and Ukai is just like ‘your students have WEAPONS?!?’

Tsundere but parents

Best Dads

They love their kids

But dont tell anyone that

It’s okay they know anyway

Will deck anyone that hurts their chaos children in any way

Koro-Sensei + Takeda + Yagi

PROUD PAPAS

THEY LOVE THEIR KIDS SO MUCH

THEY CAN SPEND 1284720 HOURS BRAGGING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR KIDS STUDENTS ARE

HAVE WALLETS WITH THEIR PHOTOS IN THEM Yagi’s is just 20+ pictures of Midoriya but shhhh

*Todoroki’s conspiracy theory senses tingle*

They could be at the groceries but they’ll still find a way to brag about their kids

#assassination classroom #haikyuu!!#boku no hero academia

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heauxplesslydevoted · 5 years

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“I Love You.” (Ethan x F!MC)

Summary: The moment Ethan realizes he’s in love with Naomi. Fluff. Pure unadulterated fluff.

Word Count: 2K+

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Ethan knows he’s in love with Naomi on his 37th birthday. They’ve been together for 4 months, and he’s obviously attracted to her and he cares deeply for the younger woman, but the revelation hits him like a ton of bricks on that fateful January night.

It starts like any other day, he’s at Edenbrook, hiding out in his office, trying to not get hounded by overzealous interns when Naomi quietly slips in. “Hey, handsome. Whatcha working on?”

“Finishing up a patient chart,” Ethan responds absentmindedly. He looks up and sees Naomi in her regular clothes, jeans and a bright yellow sweater. She looks like she was personally bathed in the sun’s warm light, and the sight of her instantly puts a smile on his face. He watches as she shuts the door behind her and locks it. “You leaving?”

“Yes. My shift ended 20 minutes ago.”

“That’s too bad. I have 6 hours left on mine.”

Naomi walks over to Ethan and pulls his leather chair out from behind his desk. She sits in his lap, pulling him in for a sweet kiss. “Hi.”

“Hi,” Ethan greets back. He buries his face in the crook of her neck. Her skin is damp, her hair is slightly curly, and she smells faintly of vanilla and raspberries. He surmised that she just took a shower in the locker room at the end of her shift. “I’ve missed you.”

“I’ve missed you too. I never see you anymore.”

“We work opposite schedules.”

“And whose fault is that,” Naomi asks rhetorically, running a hand through Ethan’s hair. “You’re the boss, you should be able to make the schedule.” Ethan grumbles, but doesn’t give a coherent response. “So, I have a question for you Dr. Ramsey.”

Ethan places a kiss at the junction where her neck and shoulder meet. “Ask away, Dr. Valentine.”

“Why didn’t you tell me that it’s your birthday?” Naomi asks.

The older doctor freezes at the question. Fuck. “Who told you?”

“Naveen. He asked me if we had any plans for the evening, and I said no. Now don’t deflect, and answer my question.

“You’re so bossy,” Ethan murmurs into her skin. “I didn’t tell you because I don’t make a big deal out of my birthday. It’s just any other day.”

“No it’s not!” Naomi argues. “It’s the day you were born, it’s a very special day. You’re 37. How does it feel?”

“It feels like any other day,” Ethan replies honestly. “I feel no different than I felt yesterday.”

“If you would’ve told me, I could have at least taken you out to dinner.”

“You’re a second year resident, please save your salary for something better.”

Naomi rolls her eyes. “This second year resident is part of your highly respected diagnostics team. The same resident who saved Dr. Naveen Banerji’s life. My salary is looking mighty fine, thank you very much,” she teases. “At least let me buy you a gift.”

“I don’t want…” the words falter as he notices the younger woman staring at him. Her warm brown eyes are piercing right back into his, and his argument immediately dies in his throat. He realizes that he’s going to have to compromise somewhere. “Fine, you can buy me a gift.”

“Thank you. Okay, now I have one more question for you.”

“Yes.”

“Can I borrow your house key? I left my laptop at your place, and I can’t wait 6 hours to get it.” Ethan digs into his pocket and pulls out his keys. After a bit of fiddling with the key chain, he takes the key to his condo and places it in Naomi’s open palm. “Thank you. I’ll leave it under your welcome mat.”

“I won’t be seeing you tonight?”

“No. I promised Sienna that I’d stop flaking on her and we’d go out. Had I known about your birthday a few days ago, you would’ve had my full, undivided attention. Who knows, I could have greeted you at your front door, naked.”

Ethan groans at her words. “Such a tease.”

Naomi places a chaste kiss onto Ethan’s cheek and gets out of his lap. “Call me when you get off from work, okay?”

“I promise.”

“Do good work, Dr. Ramsey. Save some lives!”

“Always!” He calls out as she’s rushing out the door.

~~/~~

When Ethan finally makes it home later that evening, the first thing he notices is the smell. The air smells distinctly like fire and panic rises in his chest. “Jenner? Jenner, where are you boy?”

The dog barks excitedly at the sound of his owner’s voice. Ethan follows the sound to his kitchen and finds Jenner curled up on the floor with Naomi. He gets down on the floor with Naomi. “Naomi? What are you doing here?”

“Ethan?” Naomi jerks up and runs a hand through her curly hair, as if she’s trying to make herself look presentable. “Ethan, what are you doing here?”

“I live here.”

“You were supposed to call me when you were on your way home!”

“I’m sorry, I forgot. What are you doing here? Weren’t you supposed to be going out with Sienna?”

Naomi shakes her head. “No, that was something I made up in order to throw you off my scent. I’ve been running around, trying to set up this surprise for you, but nothing is going right.”

That’s when Ethan looks around and notices everything is in disarray. His kitchen is a complete disaster, dishes filling his sink and flowing onto the counter, there’s a bag of unopened party supplies, and one really big blue Mylar balloon shaped like the number 3. “What’s wrong?”

“I got you a cake,” Naomi starts, “but I didn’t have time to custom order one, so I picked up a regular chocolate cake from the grocery store and I asked the baker to write, ‘Happy Birthday Ethan’ on it, but she wrote, ‘Happy Birthday Ian’. I didn’t notice until I put the cake in my car, after I paid. And then I got you some balloons, a 3 and a 7, but on my way into the building, I lost my grip on the 7 and it flew away.” Ethan notices her lip trembling, like she’s going to cry at any moment. “And I was trying to make a lasagna for you because I know it’s your favorite, but I burned it and nearly set the kitchen on fire.”

“It’s my karma for ignoring your wishes,” Naomi continues. “You said you didn’t want to celebrate, and I didn’t listen. I know you said you don’t care, but I care. I’m big on birthday celebrations, and I couldn’t let the day pass without acknowledging that—“

Ethan cradles Naomi’s face in his hands and pulls her in for a kiss. Naomi tenses, unsure of what to do. She’s covered in tomato sauce and crying on her boyfriend’s kitchen floor, this is not the time for kissing. Why is he kissing her?

The thoughts quickly dissipate as she feels Ethan’s tongue slide into her mouth and she moans into the kiss. She decides to stop questioning it and just be in the moment with him.

One of his hands leaves her face and travels to her lower back, pulling her in closer. Naomi obliges and at this point she’s practically straddling his lap. The kiss continues to heat up until Naomi breaks away, gasping for air. Now is not the time for kissing, not when she’s in the middle of her temper tantrum.

“What was that kiss for?” She asks.

“You’re so beautiful,” Ethan says. He tugs on a piece of her curly dark hair, knowing he can get away with it in the heat of the moment.

“Ethan, I don’t need you lying and blowing air up my ass because I’m upset. I’m a mess right now.”

She’s wearing an old college shirt of his and a pair of his boxers because lord knows she wasn’t going to cook red sauce while wearing her very expensive cashmere sweater. Her hands smell faintly of garlic, her curly hair is being loosely held up with the assistance of a single hair tie and bandana, and her face is all splotchy because of the crying. The complete opposite of beautiful.

“I’m serious. You’re the most beautiful woman I know.”

“Even when I’m having meltdowns?”

“Even then Rookie,” Ethan confirms.

“And I’m sorry about all of this, obviously I’ll clean it all up.”

“Don’t even worry about the mess right now. But thank you for trying to do something special for my birthday. It was a very sweet gesture. I love it.”

“You’re welcome, I guess.”

Ethan looks Naomi up and down and sighs contently. “I love you.”

Her head snaps up at the three words and her eyes go wide like saucers. “W-What?”

“I love you,” Ethan repeats firmly. “I’m in love with you.” The realization hits him like a ton of bricks. His feelings for the young doctor had been stewing for a long time, back before the idea of a relationship with her even entered his mind. It had been a gradual build, ever since that fateful night she stayed with him in the NICU to watch over Baby Ethan, but now, seeing her on his kitchen floor, freaking out over not being able to give him a good birthday surprise, Ethan knows without a shadow of a doubt that he is in love and Naomi Valentine is the love of his life. She has his entire heart and soul, and the power to do anything with them. It scares the absolute shit out of him, but he wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Are you serious?”

“Of course.”

Naomi doesn’t say anything in reply, instead she just wraps her arms around Ethan and kisses him again. It’s a lot sloppier than their previous kiss, lots of teeth and not nearly enough finesse, but Naomi doesn’t care. She just wants to be close to Ethan.

“I love you too,” Naomi confesses after pulling away.

Ethan couldn’t be happier at this moment even if he tried. It feels like his heart is going to burst out of his chest. He smiles so wide, he fears his face might split in two. “Say it again.”

“I love you.”

“Again.” Naomi notices the edge, the gruffness in his voice as he all but barks the order at her, and she happily obliges.

“I love you, Ethan Jonah Ram—eep!” Naomi can’t contain the obnoxious squeal that tumbles from her lips as Ethan attacks her neck with kisses. “I should go get dressed.”

“Why?”

“Because, I ruined dinner.” Her head lulls to the side, giving Ethan more access to her neck, which he greedily accepts. His teeth sink into the soft flesh, but he quickly soothes the bite mark with his tongue. “I can’t serve you that charred lasagna in good conscience, so I should take you out.”

“I’m not hungry.”

“You’ve been at the hospital all day, I’m sure you’re starving.”

Ethan’s hands travel underneath her (his) shirt and settle at her rib cage. “Sure. But it’s not food that I want right now.”

Naomi gasps in mock surprise. “Dr. Ramsey, you’ve become insatiable in your old age.”

“True, I don’t think I’ll ever get enough of you.” Ethan removes his face from her crook of her neck and buried his head in her hair. “I was told that my birthday would be celebrated with a naked greeting at the front door.”

Naomi shakes her head. “That’s for good boys who don’t keep their birthdays a secret from their girlfriends. You haven’t been a good boy.” Ethan abruptly stands, pulling Naomi up with him. Without warning, he hooks his arms around the backs of her knees and lifts her up, tossing her over his shoulder. “Ethan! What are you doing?”

“You say I’ve been a bad boy, so you’re going to punish me.”

Naomi giggles as Ethan carries her to his bedroom. “You don’t get to call the shots, mister.”

Ethan gently drops Naomi onto his bed. He watches as she instantly melds into his luxurious mattress. “I’m the birthday boy, what I say goes.”

“Hey? Guess what?”

“What?”

“I love you.”

The gentleness in her voice is a juxtaposition to what’s about to inevitably take place and it catches him off guard, but Ethan recovers quickly. “I love you more, cara mia.”

This wasn’t how he expected the day to go, but Ethan can say without a doubt that it’s the best birthday he’s ever had.

#choices: stories you play #playchoices #choices: open heart #open heart #dr. ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey #ethan ramsey x mc #ethan x mc #choices

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staticscreenwriting · 5 years

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To the stars beyond the blue - one

Summary: Kathleen Sawyer has a problem with authority and people telling her what to do, especially if “people” is her Stepdad Dave. Having had enough of her attitude, Dave and her mom decide it’s time for her to leave behind the temptations of New York City and learn some responsibility while staying with her aunt Susan in small, sleepy Hawkins, Indiana. Though what neither of them know, is that the biggest temptation is waiting for her right there and it comes with a mullet and a killer smile.

This is gonna be an 18+ series. I’m planning to add quite a bit of smut, swearing and topics that could potentially be triggering to some people (domestic abuse - physical and emotional). The abuse will not be romanticized, I promise you that. Just be aware that these themes will be mentioned and explored.

next chapter >>

Chapter one - meet Kathleen

Ron’s Deli smells like old grease and cigarette smoke and the fluorescent lights send a loud buzzing noise through the entire place. There’s an assortment of sandwiches displayed, though I know better than to order any of them. Coffee, that’s what I’m here for. Coffee and warmth.

My boots, still wet from the snow covering the streets outside, make a squeaking sound against the linoleum floor that alerts Ruby who’s slumped over the counter, flicking through some kind of fashion magazine.

“ Haven’t seen you in a while “ she murmures, eyes focusing back on the magazine, making no attempt to actually take my order.

“ Some of us actually work, you know “ I reply. That’s not even close to the truth and Ruby knows this just as well as I do. But neither of us acknowledges it because that’s not the relationship we have. I don’t want to talk about it and she doesn’t care. So we settle for superficial quips.

“ Bite me, Kathleen. “

“ Nah thanks, you know my rules. No food at Ron’s. Just coffee “

“ Just coffee “ she repeats then turns around and grabs the pot and pours me a big mug of steaming hot coffee.

“ Thanks. Put it on my tab. “

She always nods but never actually does. I don’t think I’ve paid for my coffee in years.

I drag myself towards my booth in the furthest corner of the place. I call it my booth but if we’re being overly correct I have to mention that I do, in fact, not have ownership of this particular booth. It’s just the one I always find myself in. Have done so for years.

The tv mounted up in the corner is playing some black and white christmas movie. The volume is too low to hear anything being said but I can tell the movie after a few seconds. Miracle on 34th street. I remember watching it with my dad when I was a kid. He was always big about old black and white movies.

I never told him but I don’t really like it. There’s a thing about Christmas movies where even though most of them have happy endings, a lot of them always make you feel miserable for a huge amount of the runtime. It’s like “look at this sad person ON CHRISTMAS. Then remember how lucky you are. Because you too could be sad. ON CHRISTMAS “.

It’s very preachy and if I’m being honest, I don’t see the appeal of movies that purposely make me sad.

Back then I wasn’t really aware of what it feels like to be sad on Christmas. I do now. It’s like they describe it in the movies only 10 times worse. Because there’s no happy ending waiting for you after 120 minutes. It just goes on and leads to a sad new years and a sad spring and a sad summer.

“ Oh, Christmas isn't just a day, it's a frame of mind... “ oh fuck right of, Kris you absolute bullshitter.

The bell above the door pulls me from my Christmas blues and I watch a couple stumble into the shop. They’re smiling, holding hands. The dude can’t seem to keep his lips of her neck. She walks up to the counter. I can only imagine Ruby’s annoyed sigh and the roll of her eyes.

“ Hi, two turkey delis please “ the girl says between giggles. I feel kinda bad for her. She must be a tourist. Locals know not to eat at Ron’s. Only coffee. Iced tea in the summer. That’s it.

Ruby grumbles something to them before they settle down in the booth across from me. Well there goes me sulking in silence. I try to ignore their loved up giggles as the warm coffee makes its way down my throat. I really try not to pay them any attention. But once I notice his hand squeezing her boobs, that’s enough to make even me uncomfortable.

I take one last sip then scoot out of the boot hand walk towards Ruby. She’s resorted from flipping through the magazine to using the magazine as a underlay while she paints her nails right there on the counter. Another reason not to eat here.

“ So what do you say, do I suit this color ? “ She asks and holds a hand out for me to see. She always paints them red, every single time. Apparently they’re all different shades though so far I’ve been unable to see even the slightest difference.

“ Sure. “

“ Thanks for the enthusiasm.”

“ You’re welcome. Anyway, I’m going to head out. Thanks for the coffee. “

Ruby looks up again then throws a disapproving look at the couple that is pretty much dry humping each other at this point “ did the lovebirds scare you off ? Disgusting. “

“ Let them be, they’re in love. “

She scoffs at that then goes back to her nails “ of course you’d think that. You’re just as bad. “

“ What does that mean ? “

“ Means I’ve seen you at parties. With guys. It’s uh — quite something really. “

“ Ah shut up, Ruby. “ I say and roll my eyes. It’s none of her business really. Though I know it doesn’t come from a place of malice, her words still rub me the wrong way. I have to remind myself that she’s just bitter. She should be married right now, living with her husband in some cute little house in Jersey, popping a few kids and living the suburban dream. Instead he fucked her sister at the rehearsal dinner and she’s left alone, bitter, sad and working at a really shitty deli.

“ Just sayin’ “

“ Mmh. Anyway tell your dad I said hi and to call me if he ever feels lonely. “

“ You’re vile. “

I only smile at that, pull my jacket closer around my body and step into the cold december air.

New York City is always busy. Always. People crowd the streets like ants on a popsicle forgotten on the lawn in a hot summer’s day. Though around christmas time, it feels like twice as many people flock to the city to catch a glimpse of what the perceived to be the ultimate manifestation of christmas magic.

The truth is, it’s cold and loud and crowded and if anything, it’s a perfect reminder just how materialistic we humans really are. If there’s anything to advertise, you’ll get it advertised here. They try to appeal to your innermost romantic. That girl that believes diamonds and flowers are a sign of true love. That kid that still holds faith in santa and miracles.

It makes me a little sick as I pass store after store, bustling with holiday shoppers.

The further I walk the colder it gets. I tug my beanie further down my head, trying to keep my ears warm as I hop down the steps of the subway station. There’s an older man playing the violin while wearing a santa hat. I toss him a quarter and he gives me a smile and I feel like I’ve just earned a few karma points. Shiny gates, I’m coming for you.

It’s early december and New York is fucking freezing. It’s an all consuming kind of cold. The one you feel seeping through your body all the way to your bones. I wish I could say it goes away once I’m home and snuggled up in my bed. It doesn’t. It’s the kind of cold that stays with you.

There’s a man eying me as I step on the train, he’s got bushy unkempt eyebrows and a mean mustache. His tongue licks at his bottom lip every few seconds. Like a deranged snake or something, only way creepier. I try to avoid eye contact. Eye contact it seems only works as a silent invitation to guys like him.

From the corner of my eye I take notice of all his moves though. One has to be prepared always. I grab a hold of my keyes, let them stick out between my knuckles. I don’t know if he notices. I hope he does.

When the train pulls up at my stop, my heart speeds up a little. A silent mantra echoes through my head “please don’t get up. Please don’t get up.” It’s one thing being tough and brave when you’re in a train with many other people. It’s a whole different story when you’re passing through dark, deserted alleyways on your way home.

The trains stops and I wipe my sweaty hand on my jeans. He eyes me again as I step up to the doors. I’m still avoiding eye contact but at this point I can tell that he can tell. I can just about make out as his lips pull into a smirk. There’s nothing amusing about this situation, not to me at least. To think that he finds joy in this makes me physically sick.

The doors open and I step outside, a gust of cold wind hitting my face. I turn around and the doors close behind me and, to my delight, I can see him sitting in the same spot, looking at me through the dirty window of the train. He winks as the train pulls away and I can feel my lunch making its way up my throat again.

I can hear them yelling as I unlock the door. Dave’s voice thunders through the place, spewing expletives and hatred.

“ Jesus Christ, Joan. What is wrong with you? Spending money on shit we don’t need but the one thing, the one thing I asked you to buy, you forget ? Are you really that fucking dumb ? “

My blood starts boiling though I know better than to step in. It only makes it worse.

Mom says sorry. So many times. Too many times. Her voice is timid and small and I hate that this is what he turns her into. When I was little mom was strong and brave and happy. She was creative and fun and adventurous. Now she’s but a shell of herself. An obedient little housewife who settles for a man that treats her like absolute dirt.

They look up at me as I enter the kitchen room and I can see fear in my mom’s eyes. I think that’s the worst thing. To see your mom scared. No kid should have to see their mom this scared. I wish I didn’t.

“ Hi. “

“ Look who’s finally decided to show up. Where’ve you been ? “ Dave scoffs. He thinks just because my mom spreads her legs for him, he gets any say in what I do. Truth is, he doesn’t give a fuck what I do, he’s just a sucker for control. It’s like his ultimate wet dream, to have us do exactly how he says and behave just the way he asks us to.

“ Out. “

“ Out where ? “

“ None of your business. “

“ Kathleen “ mom scolds me. I know she has this fantasy of us three living like a perfect family, all happy and joyful. Smiling at each other as we sit around the dinner table talking about our days before we settle on the couch to watch Happy Days.

That’s not reality though. Reality looks pretty bleak right now. Reality is absolute bullshit.

“ I was at the library, okay ? “

“ With a boy ? “

“ No, what the fuck are you on about. “

“ I know the kind of girl you are, Kat. I know girls like you. “

Girls like me.

Dude doesn’t know shit.

“ Sluts “ he spits out. I know he does it to rile me up. He’s just waiting for me to make a mistake so he can put me in my place and assert his dominance. God, he’s such an asshole.

“ Dave ! Don’t call her th— “ mom doesn’t get to finish the sentence before he smacks her across the face, a loud slapping noise echoing through the room. It never gets easier. Watching him hit her. Watching her excuse his actions. Watching them continue as normal.

“ I told you, to shut up, Joan. You know what happened with the boy. The man.“

I lock eyes with her, begging her to say something. Do something. End this misery. She has the power to do so. This is our apartment. Out food. Our money. She has all the power in the world and yet, when she averts her eyes, I know it means nothing.

Dave looks at me again then flops down on the couch, resting his feet on the couch table and clutching a beer in his meaty slob of a hand.

“ Ma, “ I approach her, wanting to comfort her. This is my mother and despite her flaws and issues, I love her. Sometimes I wonder if she returns the sentiment.

“ I’m okay. “

“ But you’re not!”

“ I said, I am okay. “ the look in her eyes gives me no room to argue. This conversation is over. This topic is over. For now.

Because those things are never really over, are they ?

I take a can of coke from the fridge then sit down on the bench by the window. The snow is softly falling outside and if I didn’t despise the cold so much, I’d even call it pretty. It’s a huge contrast to how things are inside right now. Snow falls slowly, piecefully. My mind is chaos, loud and crowded like Times Square on New Years.

I try to focus on my book and not on Dave who belches after every gulp of beer or my mom who’s perched on the corner of the couch, close enough for him to feel validated and yet far enough for her own comfort. I hate that this place doesn’t feel like a home anymore. It feels like a prison. Like a cage.

That annoying coke commercial comes on tv and I remember a christmas, many years ago. Dad sits in the recliner, we’re in our old apartment and it’s warm inside. The snow falls softly and the place smells like nutmeg and cinnamon. Mom is happily singing along to the commercial and dad’s placing a kiss on her head and it’s not a very important memory but it means so much to me. Because those christmases were good.

My eyes wander towards the shelf by the door, the one that holds a lot of things. Those kind of things you don’t know where else to put. There’s a bowl you’re supposed to put keys in, none of us ever do, and a sculpture I made in 4th grade art class. There’s random books and records and a cassette deck that doesn’t work anymore.

I look the shelf up and down, searching for the one thing in there that means something. The one thing I deliberately placed there because I wanted to see it every time I leave the house.

But it’s gone and my heart shatters.

“ Where’s the picture of dad ? “

“ Huh ? “ mom looks up at me. I can see it in her eyes. She heard me just right and she knows where it is.

“ The picture of dad on the shelf. Where is it ? “

“ It’s time to move on “ Dave chimed in with his throaty, dark voice. He sounds like he constantly has a meatball stuck in his gullet. It’s fucking disgusting. “ He’s been dead for years now. No use in grieving no more. “

Use in greiving ? Does he think we chose to be sad ? Does he really think I can just go and decide not to miss my dad anymore ? Not to be sad anymore ? Not to feel like my heart is bursting into a million little pieces whenever something reminds me of my dad ?

“ What did you do ? “

“ Put it where it belongs ? “

I can feel the hot red rage burning inside, behind my eyes, in the tips of my fingers.

“ What does that mean ? “

“ He’s gone, Kat. Get over it. I live here now and I don’t wanna be reminded of that fact that your ma had another man before me. It don’t matter no more, you’re my family now !” he bellows, getting off his ass and towering over me like a giant sequoia tree.

This man doesn’t know the first thing about being a family. I don’t know a lot about it either but I know this isn’t it.

“ Fuck you, Dave. Dad belongs here ! We’re his family, mom is his wife. You’re just some asshole she keeps around for god knows what reasons. Just a boyfriend, those come and go “.

He’s awfully silent at that. It’s scarier than the yelling and the mean words. Like he’s taking it all in, waiting, building. It’s gonna come crashing down on me in a minute, I just know it.

The snarl disappears and makes room for a smirk so unsettling, it freezes my blood right there in my veins.

“ Is that so ? Tell her Joan. “

“ Tell me what ? “ Oh god. Oh god, no.

“ Dave, this is not the ti— “

“ Tell her ! “ he yells and mom flinches then turns to me, eyes never once leaving the carpet.

“ Baby, Dave and I we — we decided it was time to take our relationship to the next level.”

No.

“ We’re getting married. “

“ No. “ I say, as if my opinion matters to anyone here. “ Mom, you can’t. You can’t do this. Mom “

I beg and I plead and I can feel the tears rising, hardly able to keep them at bay. I feel so small, so helpless.

“ We can and we will ! We’ve also talked about you … “ Dave starts and by the satisfied smirk on his face I can tell whatever he’s about to say, I won’t like it.

“ We had a long discussion about you and your behavior. The skipping school, the parties, the boys. It needs to stop. You need to learn some responsibility. Some respect. “

“ Mom. “ I try to meet her eyes, try to get her attention. This can’t be happening.

“ It’s for the best, baby. “

“ What is ? “

Dave takes over the conversation again. God I wish he would just disappear. Vanish into nothingness. Where he belongs. “ We think the city is no good place for a young woman to grow up. Too many distractions. Too many temptations. How could you ever become a proper wife growing up in this place. “

“ Are you saying you want to send me away ? “

Mom looks up at me finally, and I can see the pain in eyes. And for the first time, I am glad. I hope she’s hurting. I hope it rips her heart out. I hope she feels the same pain she did when dad died. Because this, this is on her. This is a conscious choice she makes. For herself. For me. For our family.

I hope it hurts her because it kills me.

“ I uh — I talked to Susan. You remember her, right ? My half-sister. She uh — she lives in this cute little town in Indiana. Lots of nature. It’s very picturesque she says. They have a house there, she and her husband and the kids. Her step son is your age. I think — I think It’d do you some good. Susan says he’s calmed down his temper since they moved. Maybe it will work for you. “

I want to say so much. I want to scream and cry and throw a tantrum but the pain I feel numbs me to my bones. It’s like all energy is sucked right out of me. I’m too exhausted to react. Too exhausted to fight back.

So I do what I do best. I run. Take my keys, my jacket, my bag. And I run out into the night. The snow. The cold.

Whatever is out there isn’t half as harsh as what’s waiting for me in this place.

I know I have to go back eventually but for now I need to get out and save myself from drowning in my own despair. In the picture of a family that is no family at all and the memories of what used to be.

As I walk down the street I pass a park. There’s a concert going on. A choir sings “ Have yourself a merry little christmas”.

I want to throw up. I do throw up, in the bin by the park bench.

Merry fucking christmas, Kathleen. I’m sure it’ll be a great one.

“Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on your troubles will be out of sight”

Absolute bullshit, my dudes. Absolute bullshit.

#billy hargrove fanfic #billy hargrove imagine #billy hargrove fanfiction #billy hargrove x reader #stranger things fanfiction #stranger things imagines #stranger things imagine #stranger things fanfic #tothestarsfic

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? Cingular Wireless.

What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Tumblr, YouTube, and Twitter.

Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. I like all my jeans, they’re all dark wash skinny jeans.

What profession do you respect? Anyone who works with the disadvantaged and is paid pennies for it – social workers, homeless/domestic violence shelter employees, animal rescuers, etc. High-stress jobs with no financial reward, basically. <<< Yes!

Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? No.

Have you ever ate something you’ve dropped on the floor, if so what? Nooo. That 5 second rule is a lie.

Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? I don’t have a car, nor can I drive, which are both kinda necessary. IF I could, I still wouldn’t. I’d be scared to have strangers in my car.

How do you know when you’re in love, what’s the main sign? I actually want to be around the person for long periods of time. <<< Ha, yeah that’s definitely a sign for me as well.

Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? Jim Carrey, Jamie Lee Curtis, and Drake Bell.

Do you prefer Walmart or Target? Target.

What do you long for? My vacation next year.

If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? No thanks.

What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? Take better care of myself. What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? My mind will just start to wander after awhile and if I focus on trying to stay focused, I become too focused on being focused. Did you follow any of that? lol.

Do you think society has become too PC (politically correct)? I think in some cases people are too quick to attack others. Some people truly may just be ignorant about a topic or accidentally misspoke about something, but people are so quick to attack and make them out to be the worst person in the world. Try educating others instead. Some people act like they know everything and never say the wrong thing ever.

What tragic love story do you relate to? None.

Has your intuition or “gut” served you well? In some cases.

What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line for something and what was it? Midnight premieres. My friends and I would get there an hour or two early and you just hang around until they start letting people in. It was fun, though. We’d bring blankets and a bunch of snacks.

Who is your favorite model? I don’t have one.

What have you done that is out of character for you? I used to be the friend everyone could come and talk to. I was dependable. A few years ago I pushed everyone away and became distant and withdrawn. I’m not that dependable person anymore.

Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? I appreciate either one.

Who is the most visionary person in your life & how do they inspire you? Uhhh.

How do you handle a betrayal? I’d be hurt, but I’d also likely blame myself.

What do you feel strong enough to protest about? I’ve never protested before.

What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? My life.

If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? To play along with your hypothetical game I’d have a cafe.

What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? Medical supplies and shoes.

What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? I still haven’t learned how to drive.

What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? I don’t know.

Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? No.

Do you believe in karma? No.

Are you more worried about doing the things right, or doing the right thing? I can worry about both. They are not mutually exclusive. <<< Yeah. They’re not even the same thing. Doing things right can be like following instructions and such, while doing the right thing is like what you think is morally right.

Do you believe in the term “Mother knows best? My mom often does. If I would have just listened to her advice some things would certainly be a lot different. Even now. I’m so damn stubborn.

Who is your favorite movie action hero? Iron Man, Spiderman, Ant-Man, Star Lord, and Thor.

What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can’t get elsewhere? Hm. Nothing is coming to mind, honestly.

How important are looks in someone you’re in a relationship with? I just answered this in another survey. They’re not the most important thing, it’s gotta be deeper than just looks, but I can’t say they don’t matter at all.

What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? Uhhh.

What are you most thankful for? My family.

Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? Well, as far as talk shows go I like to watch Daily Pop and Dr. Phil. Sometimes The Talk as well.

What was the last book you read? Because of Bethlehem by Max Lucado.

What’s your favorite online store? The places I shop online the most are: Hot Topic, BoxLunch, Kohl’s, Amazon, and Etsy.

What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? I don’t wanna do that. I couldn’t handle it.

If you were to throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, it would say? “Hi.” lol.

Do you have common sense or do you think people are lacking in it? It doesn’t seem to be very common sometimes. You either got it or you don’t, and it does seem to be lacking.

What’s your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Coffee.

How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? Not my thing.

What do you like to put gravy on? Mashed potatoes, stuffing, turkey, and ham. I love country gravy on my eggs.

Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Nope.

What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? Nothing.

What is priceless to you? Time with my family.

What do you wait for discount sales to buy? I always look for a good sale and use coupon codes whenever I can.

What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? I honestly don’t know a whole lot. I’d really like to do that ancestry test.

What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? It changes.

What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done for someone? Hmm.

Do you keep a budget? I try.

If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? Nah.

What makes you feel rested and refreshed? Spending time at the beach is the only thing that can make me feel that way.

What is the funniest joke you have ever heard about? I don’t know what I’d say the funniest joke I ever heard was. Who depends on you the most? No one.

Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Ha, no. I’m very thin, weak, and in a wheelchair. No offense to anyone else who may also be any of those things, but I know I couldn’t protect anyone. I’m also a scardy cat, easily intimidated, and non-confrontational, so... I’d really be of no use at all.

Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. And some will eventually... they’re inevitable. :(

Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don’t understand? There’s a lot I don’t understand about people in general.

Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? If so, what were two things you wanted? I only list things like that when asked in a survey. It comes up a lot.

Have you ever ridden on a subway or train an what did you like about it? Nope.

What song on your playlist gets played the most? My Spotify wrap up thingy listed all that, but I don’t feel like checking it again right now.

Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? Academic.

Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? No. I have a strong instinct for empathy. <<<

Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? Yes.

Finish the next line in your style: Roses are red, violets are blue… I’m tired, how are you?

What embarrasses you instantly? When I start mixing my words around when I speak. <<< Saaaame. I trip over my words, too.

Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? Nope. Well, there’s the wheelchair for one.

Do you often read your horoscope? I never do.

What current event are you tired of hearing about? Trump.

Are you a daredevil? Ha, nope.

What common pitfalls do you find yourself dealing with in your work life? I don’t have a job.

Describe your “poker face”. >> My resting face is a poker face. People tend to read all kinds of things into it (usually negative things), because I guess they can’t stand a simple blank slate. <–Me. We’re so misunderstood. Haha. <<< Me, too.

What do you think should be censored? I don’t see the issue with curse words being censored. I just never understood why you can say some, but not others.

Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Possibly.

Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? I don’t know.

How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? My relationship with God.

Have you ever fired a gun? Yes. I went to a shooting range once with friends.

Do you think people, including yourself live up to their full potential? I’m not doing anything with my life. :/ I don’t feel like I have much potential, either.

How are you different from most people? I’m different from people I know in a lot of ways. Like, people I know are functioning adults and I’m not.

What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Understanding is definitely one. There’s a lot of things, though.

What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? Dogs.

Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? Yeah. I’ve stayed up for over 30 hours. I honestly don’t know I ever did that. I could never now.

Who is a female role model in your life? My mom.

What childhood dreams have you neglected? The ones where I was doing something with my life.

How often do you reevaluate your life? I don’t. I am aware of what my life looks like at any given time. I don’t need to sit down and think deeply about it to realize I need to change something I’m doing; I am well aware of my faults and negative habits. <<< Just gonna keep all your answers.

What’s your favorite place just to hang out? My bed.

What gives you a zest for life? This makes me think of this thing I saw on Twitter that said something like, “I thought it would be easy peasy lemon squeezy, not stressed, depressed, lemon zest”, ha.

What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? My mind is a jumbled mess.

What three things do you think of most of each day? God, my health, and my life.

Would you travel to space if possible? Nopeeee. Just the idea of space is terrifying to me.

Name a famous person you wouldn’t mind for a business partner. I don’t want a business partner. I’m not doing anything in business.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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purrincess-chat · 6 years

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MariChat May: A Merman’s Heart CH1

It’s MariChat May! With a twist! I decided to do things a little differently this time, so here is a merman au ft. Mer!Chat. Hopefully you all enjoy what I have in store for MeriChat May ;) I’ve selected 6 prompts to do for this fic, then I have two requests and one prompt that I’m going to use to continue another fic that everyone has been asking for a continuation of, so stay tuned! May is gonna be a wild ride for me, you guys.

Read on AO3

Chapter One

The night air was calm and quiet, a gentle sea breeze wafting the scent of salt against Marinette’s cheeks as she strolled along the shore. White waves washed around her feet as the tide rushed in, and she giggled as a small crab struggled to right itself after being pushed around. She stooped to flip it back over, watching as it scurried away the moment its feet touched the sand.

Everything was peaceful, and she lingered for a few moments, enjoying the soft melody of the ocean with closed eyes. Ever since she got her own little cottage by the shore, she often took walks on her way home from work. Their town wasn’t nearly as big as the surrounding cities, but the clothes shop she worked for drew quite a bit of business. It was tiring work, but she enjoyed it. Besides, calm nights like this served to relax her after a long day. She’d always found peace in the water which is why she chose a house on the outskirts of town just to be closer to it.

The people in the village were very superstitious and had warned her against it for fear of mermaids who would lure her out to her death, but those were just old wives tales told to children. There was no such thing as man-eating creatures from the sea. The idea was simply preposterous.

Or so that’s what she’d always thought, but the stars had a funny way of proving her wrong, she’d found.

Nearing the end of her walk, she spotted something strewn across the rocks at the base of the cliff. Squinting to make it out, she realized that it was not a something but a someone, and in an instant, she took off toward them.

“Excuse me?” She called, climbing haphazardly across the jagged stones. “Are you al…right?”

Her eyes widened as they scanned over black scales and flaccid fins sprawled across a rock as the creature struggled to breathe. Moonlight reflected off the wet sheen on its side, and even in the dark she could tell what it was. Blood. Every instinct in her body told her to run, but the face was so…human that she couldn’t bear to just leave it to die. Something about the rapid heaving of its chest as ragged gasps escaped its lips stirred up a sort of empathy in her chest that wouldn’t allow her to turn the other way.

In hind sight, dragging a mer-creature to her home in a burlap sack should have seemed like a horrible idea, but nevertheless it’s where she was in the moment. If the townspeople found out about him they’d surely kill it and throw her in an asylum, but the empathetic heart beating in her chest couldn’t let an innocent creature die.

Of course, if the stories were to be believed then this creature had probably murdered dozens of innocent people for its own satiation, and for a brief moment, she paused her efforts and stared down at the creature curiously. Would it be better to let it die? Would more lives be saved by allowing nature to take its course? Allow one to die in order to save the multitude as it were, but almost as quickly as the thought came, she dismissed it, shaking her head as if to sift the thought from her brain like writing in the sand. She had no way of knowing for sure, and perhaps helping would earn her some good karma points with the merpeople, who, despite her earlier doubts, seemed to be very real.

Marinette kicked the door open to her cottage, dragging the creature along with labored grunts until she finally reached the bathroom and stopped to catch her breath. She collapsed onto the side of the tub, flicking on the water before taking a closer look at what she’d brought home.

He, she figured it was a he anyway, was rather handsome for a fish-creature with chiseled cheek bones and a mop of blond hair tied back into a messy pony tail. He looked so normal, but once her eyes moved downward from the face there was no denying that he was anything but. From the waist up, he seemed more or less human minus the few scales trailing up his sides and garnishing his hands where pointed claws topped each finger. And the gills desperately heaving against his rib cage, she supposed, but a scaly black tail replaced legs on his lower half which served to remind her to be extra cautious when handling him. This creature was no human, and if legend was any indication of reality, he was dangerous.

Shaking her head to clear it, she awkwardly hoisted him up into the tub, thankful for her many years of lifting flour sacks at her parent’s bakery for her strength. She was surprised that he never awoke through all of her handling, and she had to wonder just how much blood he’d lost. The burlap she’d carried him in was splotched bright red where his side had touched, and the water in the tub was already turning too.

Cupping her hands, she splashed clean water over the wound to clean it, but the bleeding was too persistent. She rummaged through her cabinets for medical supplies, retrieving some antiseptic mist that she purchased from the local pharmacy as well as several wads of gauze. Gritting her teeth, she held the bottle out at arm’s length before releasing a swift spray directly onto the wound. The creature cried out in agony, eyes snapping wide open and wild green sclera training on her in an instant. It bared its fangs with a loud hiss that sent Marinette scurrying out the door in a hurry.

As she leaned her back against the door and clutched her chest where her heart hammered frantically, she heard more guttural growls and hissing from the other side, and instantly, she regretted ever bringing such a creature into her home. What had she been thinking? All of the stories must have come from somewhere, and now she had brought a man-eating monster into her home. She should alert the police, but she supposed then she’d have to explain how the creature got into her bathtub in the first place. Perhaps she could wait for it to die, but that may take too long. By then it could crawl out of the tub and eat her and regain its energy. Maybe she should go spend the night with her parents and pray that it dies overnight from blood loss or starvation.

Almost as soon as it had begun, the noise in the bathroom stopped, and Marinette eyed the knob with a conflicted crease to her brow. Did she dare peek inside? What if it was just luring her into a false sense of security, and the moment she opened the door it leapt out and ripped out her throat? Though, judging by the amount of blood smeared on her floor, she’d be willing to bet that the creature didn’t have much energy for leaping. Perhaps if she were cautious enough, she could reason with it? Were mer-creatures reasonable? She supposed there was no time like the present to find out.

With a few deep breaths, she slowly twisted the knob once more and cracked the door just enough to peer inside. The creature was still in the tub, its head leaned back against the wall, and she could make out the persistent rise and fall of its chest with each shallow gasp. When it tried to move, a pained groan echoed against the walls, and it trained its eyes on the tiny crack in the door causing Marinette to jump a little as she felt them baring into her.

“I will help you, but only if you promise not to attack me,” She said shakily sounding anything but the confident and firm she was going for. Could mer-creatures even understand humans?

After a few beats of shallow breaths came a reply, “You have my word.”

Pushing the door open cautiously, she poked her head in to see the creature adorned with a pleading expression as he cupped his side, and her heart lurched in her chest. With a renewed purpose, she crouched next to the tub, and he reluctantly moved his hands. She felt her pits sweat a little as he watched her every move intently, fearing that at any moment he’d snap, but to her surprise he stayed surprisingly still.

“I’m going to spray some more of this on you, okay? It’s going to prevent it from getting infected,” She explained, holding up the bottle of antiseptic. “It’s going to sting a little.”

When the mist made contact, he writhed in pain, baring his fangs once more and clutching the edge of the tub, and Marinette flinched back instinctively with a grimace.

“You torturous wench!” He cried.

“Sorry!” She gasped, fumbling with her supplies with shaking hands until she found a sealing balm. “I-I promise this one won’t hurt.”

His eyes narrowed as she clumsily unscrewed the lid and scooped some out with her fingers, and a snarl rippled up from his throat as she began to apply it but soon replaced with a relieved sigh. She reached for the gauze and pressed a wad against the wound, applying firm pressure with one hand while grabbing a bandage wrap with the other. She met his glare anxiously, swallowing back a lump in her throat before she spoke.

“Um, I’m going to wrap it up now, can you hold this in place?” His eyes flicked down to his side, and slowly, he moved to slip his hands under hers and resume pressure while she wrapped.

“Why are you helping me?” He asked as she tied it off and rinsed her hands under the faucet. “I thought all humans loathed us.”

“I dunno,” She admitted with a shrug, wetting a cloth with a few spritzes of antiseptic and delicately dabbing it over his other wounds. “I just…saw someone who needed help, and it didn’t feel right to leave you there. Even if you could easily kill me if you wanted.”

“That I could, little lady,” He said with a grunt, a smirk curling on his lips. “So what’s to assure you that I don’t eat you in the middle of the night?”

“Well, given your current condition and lack of legs, and granted that I am a light sleeper, I could hear you coming long before you could ever reach me in bed. I’d have more than enough time to escape, and something tells me my legs can move much faster on land than your tail,” She said matter-of-factly, and he rewarded her with a conceding cock of the brow. “Besides, it’s poor manners to hurt the person who saved your life.”

He grumbled something under his breath that Marinette took as an expression of gratitude. After applying more balm over his injuries, she plugged up the tub and allowed it to fill up over his tail, stopping it just shy of his side wound so as to not wash away the medicine. Tucking away her medical supplies, she stole a quick glance at him to find those thin-slits of eyes staring at her curiously.

“Um,” She cleared her throat. “You should stay here tonight and give the medicine a chance to work on your wound. I’ll take you back down to shore as soon as you are healed, alright?”

“Alright.” He gave a short nod, following her every movement as she stood up and walked to the door stiffly.

“Good night, merperson,” She said, pressing her lips into a firm line.

“Good night, human girl.”

#miraculous ladybug #marinette dupain-cheng #chat noir #marichat #marichat may 2018 #my writing #a merman's heart #merman au

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legionsgossip · 6 years

Photo

thank you, PENNY HAYWOOD, for sitting down to answer a few of our questions !! ( @optimismi )

We’ll start off easy in the beginning. So tell us….

If you didn’t have to sleep, what would you do with the extra time?

“ Brilliant ! Oh, where would I even begin ? I’d spend some extra time in the Potions – I mean, in the Political Science Classroom without any distractions. My instructor, Professor Snape, is wonderful at … Political Science, but there’s even more things to learn outside of class-time ! It’s not that I don’t love spending time with my friends, but I don’t think they’re as enthusiastic about Political Science as I am. You can’t really bring up the correct temperature to store liquids at parties, you know. I mean… for drinks at political gatherings. Not for potions. That’s absurd. ”

What is the most annoying habit that other people have?

“ Oh… I really try not to focus on other people’s flaws. Wait. I just thought of one habit I can’t stand. People who like to prank others for fun drive me mad. I also despise when I’m in the middle of something time sensitive or important and someone just interrupts me. It’s like they’re doing it on purpose ! ”

What is something you’ve been meaning to try but just haven’t gotten around to it?

“ Good question ! I heard music festivals are all the rage, and I’d love to go ! I’d also love to go on a trip to… well, anywhere new, really ! The destination doesn’t matter as much as the people going. I’d definitely drag my friends Bill and Ben and Rowan along. ”

What is the most impressive thing you know how to do?

“ Well, I already told you about my love for Po…litical Science. Something else I’m good at is people, I’d say ! They all have such interesting stories and I love to listen and learn about their personalities. It also helps me to keep up with knowing everything at my school. Gossip can be important if used in the right way ! ”

What is something that is considered a luxury that you don’t think you could live without?

“ A luxury… It’s not exactly expensive or anything, but I have this yellow gold charm bracelet with a charm from my parents, one from my sister, and one from my friend… Scarlett. I don’t know what I’d do without it. It’s nice having something to remember the people I love every single day. ”

We’re getting a little deeper now. Hopefully we aren’t scaring you away….

Who inspires you to be better?

“ Oh, more personal. Wonderful… Oh, this one’s easy ! My best friend, Ben Copper, absolutely. He might not think so, but it’s so admirable how despite his fears, he conquers them everyday ! I… I’m certainly not as brave as him in that regard. ”

What do you want your epitaph to be?

“ I’d want it to say something about being well-loved and brilliant. Hopefully it’ll say that I was Head Girl at my school, too. Or youngest professor ever hired on. Most Popular has a nice ring to it, too. Hm… it’ll have to be a big headstone to fit all that… I’m sure someone can figure a more poetic and concise quote. ”

They say that everyone has a book in them. What would your book be about?

“ I’ll tell you what it will be about, absolutely. It’ll be a story about the girl who woke up in Colorado and found a way to break an impenetrable curse and get home to her friends just in time to become Head Girl for her last year of school. It’ll be a best-seller. ”

What are some of the events in your life that made you who you are?

“ It’s like that quote about your personality being based off the five people you’re closest to. That’s such an accurate statement! I don’t think I’d be anywhere near recognizable to the person I am today without my best friends. ”

There are two types of people in this world. What are the two types?

“ There are glass half full people and glass half empty. You can choose to see the world for all its beauty, or you can see focus on the negatives. ”

Time to get really deep. You better hold on to your seat for this one….

What is the most illegal thing you’ve done?

“ I’ve gone on some entertaining and terrifyingly death-defying adventures with my friends. Those certainly involved some illegal activities, like sneaking around after curfew and some minor theft and major trespassing. ”

What keeps you up at night?

“ I… Nightmares from my past. Nothing worth talking about. I don’t talk about my home life. ”

What bridges do you not regret burning?

“ I absolutely don’t regret burning a bridge with these two horrible girls at my school, Merula and Emily. There is never an excuse to harm my friends and – well, you know what they say about karma. ”

What’s one thing you did that you really wish you could go back and undo?

“ I’d go back and fix my biggest mistake. I was only ten or eleven, but I… I’m sorry, I don’t talk about my home life. Let’s just say, I had the chance to help someone, but I hesitated. You can be absolutely certain I will never do that again. ”

What are you afraid people see when they look at you?

“ I’m afraid that people only see me superficially, and they don’t pay attention to my brains or see my potential. It’s alright, though, underestimating me is just something I have as an advantage ! ”

#legions:gossip #interviews #penny haywood

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cereittanyprincess15 · 7 years

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Unfortunate hiatus (very long post)

Hello darlings, I’d like to have a not-so-quick word. I know I’ve been very scarce with posting since last year, I’m very aware of it in fact, and while I’ve still managed to get a few MEP parts out and one pretty long video since then it hasn’t been nearly enough compared to have much I wanted/needed to have finished. The thing is, I burnt myself out trying to finish my TTWU audition on time, it was so bad I was losing major amounts of sleep, and the day it was due I was actually running on fumes and only getting some rest in the hours it was rendering before I had to run to work because it ended the exact hour I started. It was really bad, but I got in and I was so happy, but because the burnout had begun I wasn’t able to summon that same amount of drive to finish the first round and ended up falling into a very deep depression.

I loathed myself for working so hard to get in and then dropping out before I could finish that first entry when everyone else was working so incredibly hard around me and that spot could’ve gone to someone else, someone who could’ve told their own story, and that depression mixed in with the burnout to create the biggest blackhole of inspiration I have ever experienced in my years as an editor. So I stopped editing for a while, and became what I hated the most: a deadline-missing unresponsive unreliable MEP letdown.

I joined so many MEPs before the rp started that I was left with no drive to finish the parts I had left, and I felt so embarassed and hypocritacal in not finishing anything that I feared going up to the hosts to explain why I wasn’t done. If I had no intention of finishing the part because I lost interest I ended up lying because I felt they had waited so long, I should just suck it up and give them their part anyway, and if I wanted to finish my inspiration to actually sit down and work was still gone so I had to keep asking for time. I was disgusted by myself for letting my reputation, at least how I saw it, fall because I was becoming that awful type of person who disappeared once the deadline came around, and I wanted so badly to finish everything but no matter how long I regained my strength or how inspired I became by those really awesome parts I was looking so forward to I just couldn’t bring myself to work for longer than an hour or so if I was lucky.

That was last year, and so many people are still waiting on me. There are for certain MEPs I want to leave because I just don’t care enough anymore, and ones I want to finish, and while my friends were telling me to put my own feelings first and just leave the MEPs, I never could. Well, now I have to.

Last week I was downloading the last movies I needed for a HUGE multiship video I’m doing for a friend (who’s also been waiting ages for this and I am so thankful for her patience) and while I was away from my laptop my drive holding all of my movies decided to crash. I plugged it back in and it popped up after about ten minutes of it being so frozen that even my laptop was freaking out, and it appeared to be fine, until I tried to play a video. It disappeared from my computer list and the drive itself started to make a horrid clicking noise, and after a second of panic I unplugged the drive and checked the internet for an answer on my phone seeing as my laptop was also acting very very bad.

Naturally, the sound was even worse than I’d expected. According to the internet, it could mean there’s a piece inside the drive that’s out of place, and the clicking was it possibly ruining my data. That, or the drive is already dead. It’s been unplugged since then and tonight I was able to bring it in to get it sent off just like the last time my drive broke. This time, instead of just agreeing on the expensive price and sending it off, the woman behind the counter told me she can’t do a thing with it until I bring in a receipt for the drive. That, and $1600. Then it’d be sent off to I’m guessing Toronto to get checked out, where there’s a chance that my data couldn’t even be recovered.

That was the last screenshot I took (back in January so there were tons more now) of how many movies I had and how much space I had left to show my friends when I told them I really had no more room. That’s just the movies, which I’ve bee collecting for a decade with almost all of my animation ones being in 1080p, with some rarer ones being my greatest pride of them all after years of searching. The rest of the stuff on that drive was my documents, including plans for videos and all my stories that I’ve been writing but not posting since gradeschool, all my pictures including ones of friends I no longer talk to, family, a lot of fanart I’ve collected, and gifts, all my music which is mostly on my laptop but there’s a good amount I deleted off here to make space, all of my downloads including my sister’s old videos that not even she has anymore, more gifts from friends that are no longer available online at all, videos I love and have been watching since 2006, and all my own videos that I’ve made since then as well. I have the vegas and AE files themselves on another drive to free up room and get it all in the same place, but my videos themselves I may’ve just lost. Completed ones, incomplete ones, random ones I made for myself, some animation projects I did for school, all the bits and pieces of old manips for really old projects, all of that might be gone now and after leaving the store knowing that it could be gone for good even if I had the money to send the drive off I spent the next hour or so crying alone in the car because of how frustrated I was.

I’ve heard the old ‘sometimes these things just happen, gotta move on’ spiel, I’ve heard it a lot over a ton of different subjects. But this was my past, 12 years of it, all collected into one place. If this stuff is gone I’ve lost so much that I’ve personally created and found joy in doing so, and I’ll never be able to recreate it or get it back. I find it impossible to just ‘move on’ from something like that, and it’s tearing at me so hard that I can feel my chest physically hurting.

So, now that this has happened, I’ve officially lost my inspiration. I’m taking a long break from editing now that I’ve lost so much of my material, and almost all of my non/disney collection, and will be withdrawing myself from most of the projects I’m in sans a few, which I will list in a bit. I have a mobile backup downstairs where I can get a good deal back, but most of those files are old and I don’t have the money or space to get a brand new drive to copy it onto and start my movies collection over again, nor do I have the energy. I have around 100 of those 753+ movies on my editing drive, and I still have all my shows, but that doesn’t really help a non/disney editor much if all she has is anime.

I was hoping to open up my first rp contest this summer, so I could become more active with the community and make up for how little I participated in TTWU; I wanted so badly to be apart of the group, but I felt I didn’t deserve to speak to such awesome and talented people when I couldn’t give it my all, so I disappeared just like Jim and tried to let myself be forgotten. I wanted to make up for that with this new rp, and make more friends, but this had to hit me right as I was finalizing the details and now I just don’t have the energy to even think of starting it.

Things I’m leaving, I’ll message the hosts:

Girls Like Girls - Belle and Anya (halfway done, no masking)

Game of Survival - Helga and Tarzan (never started, lost inspiration)

Unhealthy Relationship - Gothel and Bernard (really lost inspiration)

Hit Me Baby - Tulio and Belle ft Louie and Jane (never started, unsure of deadline?)

Meteor Shower - Elsa and Peri (really wanted to do but never started)

Over the Sea - Jane and Pocahontas (cancelled I think?)

Body Electric x Control - JD and Rapunzel (never started, lost Heathers)

I Took a Pill in Ibiza - Hollina (never started)

Young Love - Miguel and Sinbad (never started)

Things I’m finishing (if the hosts still let me):

The Heart Wants What it Wants - Ariel and Lottie ft Eric (halfway done, no masking)

Perfect Ruin - Aurora, Tulio, and Jim (almost done, haven’t lost anything)

Gasavages - Phoebus and Dimitri/Peter (still fixing up to personal perfection)

Gasavages - Mulan and Esmeralda (never started)

Dirty Dancer - Felicie and Camille (halfway done, lost inspiration)

Ghost Lights - Jane and Mulan ft Eris (gunna talk to host about it)

Personal projects I need to finish:

That multiship video (only lost those final movies, have lower quality ones on mobile drive just in case, everything else is on editing drive)

All my collabs are on hold unless the other person wants to just cancel them considering what happened, granted I only have collabs with two people but still

All my requests are still written down and are doable but now I have to rely on what I have left and screenshot sites so that unnecessarily complicates making them

All my MEPs have no deadlines now seeing as I have parts in all of them and I’m obviously not going to be finishing them anytime soon, either way the deadlines all passed last year so it’s not like setting new deadlines will matter right now. I feel so bad about having to walk off of so many considering they’ve waited so long for me, but I don’t want to lie to anyone any longer and keep them waiting on me. I never wanted to be so unreliable but I ended up being a real shithead when it came to deadlines, so maybe I deserve this as karma. Either way, this blog probably won’t have many additions to it in the near future unless a miracle happens and I get my drive fixed, but I won’t be holding my breath. Maybe now I’ll get the chance to work more with Teen Titans again and do some anime videos, but that’ll only be after this sadness wears off.

#ray talks about stuff #i've been needing to make this post for months #i just wish it had never come to this though

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petty-revenge-stories · 7 years

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Tales of delicious revenge from a recovering retail worker.

story data: long story. 2301votes. %97 upvoted. very popular.

I discovered this blog @petty-revenge-stories a while ago and it has breathed new life into my withered soul. Today, it's time that I return the favor.

These tales of petty revenge all took place over the three long years that I had the misfortune of working retail at a big-box store best known for its red bullseye logo and bitchy middle-class clientele. Enjoy.

ONE: THE TAG SWITCHER I was working in the fitting room one night when this lady bustles in with 3000 different items of clothing that she wanted to try on. Unfortunately my store had just lifted the item limit for the fitting room, so I begrudgingly had to let her take everything back.

She proceeds to make a HUGE mess in the fitting room (leaving clothes inside-out all over the floor, tags ripped off of items, size stickers peeled off and slapped onto the wall… the whole nine yards).

After she leaves, I report the ripped off tags to Assets Protection (per fitting room policy) and, figuring that would be the extent of my revenge, I resigned to cleaning up the mess she left me.

Then I get a call from the manager. He wants me up at the registers to do back up. I had worked the registers before, but it was exceptionally rare for me to get pulled away from the fitting room to do backup. Still, I don’t protest and I head up to the register.

Guess who my first customer is? Yep, the mess-making bitch from the fitting room. The manager has directed her straight to me, and I can tell from the wide-eyed look of horror on her face that she realizes she has just been lead into a trap.

She slowly begins to plop her items onto the conveyerbelt and tries to make nervous small-talk. At first I assume she’s just feeling awkward about the mess that she left… but when I get a better look at her items, I immediately realize there’s something much fishier going on.

Her purchase consists entirely of women’s clothing, and I recognize most of the items as brand new stuff that has recently come in. Stuff that should cost full price. So when I see nearly every single item’s price tag covered with a bright red 70% off clearance sticker, I realize that something’s up. When I look down at the first item from her pile, my suspicions are confirmed: the item I’m holding in my hands is a woman’s Mossimo Black clothing item, but it has a bright blue Circo tag that belongs on infant boy clothes.

Busted! This bitch was switching tags on clothes to get a lower price! Not only that, but she was so brazen (or stupid) that she used tags from the wrong department!

I don’t make it immediately obvious that I’ve figured out her scheme. Instead, I think fast. From my experience in the fitting room, I know every item of clothing has a little white tag on the inside that has a nine-digit item code. So instead of scanning the items, I proceed to type in each and every item manually, using the ACTUAL numbers inside each garment.

The woman watches this all unfold with a nauseous look on her face, as item after item rings up at full price ($19 - $29, compared to the $2 or $4 price tags she had stuck on each item). As her total grows, so does the look of combined hatred and fear on her face.

Finally she stammers something about “coming back later” and runs off towards the exit. The Assets Protection guy watches her walk out, then comes over to me. He reveals that he had been watching this chick before she even went into the fitting room, but he didn’t have enough on camera to approach her. Since I was the only team member working that night who was familiar with the clothing / tags, the manager put me on the register to check her out.. literally!

TWO: THE PHONE SHOPPER It’s the week before Christmas and the store is frantic. I’m manning the phones (which are ringing off the hook), and one night I get a call from Bitch Princess, who wants to know if we have any [insert name of whatever animatronic hatching robot dog toy every kid had to have that year].

Now the store’s holiday policy said we could confirm availability over the phone, but we weren’t supposed to put high-demand items (like the barking bird robot thing) on hold for a customer. Regardless, I was still un-jaded enough to like hooking people up (I’m still waiting on that lifetime of good retail karma to kick in…)

I let BP know that this highly-coveted toy has been flying off the shelves for weeks and I’m doubtful that we have any in stock, but I can happily check for her if she’s willing to go on a brief hold. She impatiently agrees to the hold, and I set the phone down.

After being slightly delayed by a customer that ambushed me on the sales floor, I miraculously find ONE of these stupid toys on the shelf. I grab it and head back to my post, excited to tell BP I just saved Christmas, but when I get back I find the phone ringing again. Recognizing the number on the caller ID display, I quickly deduce that Bitch Princess has hung up and is now calling back.

I barely get a chance to recite my scripted greeting before BP cuts me off, yelling that I put her on hold for “30 minutes” (more like 7), that she’s a customer and it’s my job to assist her, some nonsense about her having priority over the customers in the store, blah blah blah. I want to point out that literally NONE of what she’s saying is true, but I keep my lips sealed.

Instead, in a ridiculously pleasant voice, I say: “ma’am, thank you SO MUCH for your patience. I checked the sales floor and couldn’t find [stupid toy], but the computer is telling me that we might have one in the backroom. If you bear with me for another minute here, I can—”

She grumbled that yes, I could check the backroom, but I “better hurry” because she doesn’t have time for this. Smiling gleefully, I put the phone back on hold and proceed to return [stupid toy] to the spot where I found it on the sales floor. I then spend a nice chunk of time helping out ACTUAL customers in the store.

Eventually I remember that BP is still waiting on hold and I return to the phone. “Ma’am, good news… we do have ONE in stock,” I say. BP immediately barks at me to put it on hold, and a devious Grinch-like smile spreads across my face. “I’m so sorry ma’am, but we’re actually unable to put high-demand items on hold at this time. All I can do is confirm that it’s currently available on the sales floor…”

BP unleashes the wrath of a thousand fiery infernos and demands to speak to a manager. I oblige, transferring her to the closing manager (who confirmed the store policy, before promptly being hung up on).

I was pretty pleased with the turn of events, but the cherry on top came a short time later when BP actually shows up at the store, only to discover that the toy had already been purchased by another guest.

THREE: THE SHOE SNATCHER It was nearly closing time, and I was tasked with “zoning” (or straightening up) the shoe department for the night. It was nearly impossible for me to get anything done, though, because this obnoxious woman kept making me drop everything to help her shop for shoes for her toddler.

The worst part was that the woman didn’t put anything back where she found it. Instead, she just leaves the shoe boxes strewn throughout the aisle (wtf). She finally leaves, and I drag myself over to the massive mess that she’s left behind.

As I’m returning all of the discarded shoe boxes to their rightful locations, I’m popping them open to make sure the correct shoes are inside. When I open one of the boxes, I discover a very sweet sight indeed: a dirty pair of toddler sneakers.

It’s a scam I’ve seen far too many times: someone swaps out a pair of new shoes with their old dirty shoes. Only this time, instead of getting away, I had caught the crook red-handed (or red-footed?)

I tucked the shoebox under my arm and quickly retraced the woman’s steps. Sure enough, I was able to find her in the grocery section. And sure enough, her toddler was sitting in the cart wearing a pair of brand new cartoon character sneakers.

I approached the mom with a giant shit-eating grin on my face and said: “I’m so glad I caught you! You almost left without these!” I held open the box with the dirty sneakers.

The woman had the nerve to pin the blame on her child, playing it off as if her kid had swapped the sneakers. Smh.

(source) (story by DeliciousRevenge)

#petty revenge #by DeliciousRevenge #pettyrevenge #petty revenge stories #revenge stories #petty #revenge

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lovehaswonangelnumbers · 5 years

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New Post has been published on https://lovehaswonangelnumbers.org/saturn-conjunct-pluto-apocalypse-not/

Saturn Conjunct Pluto – Apocalypse NOT

By Astrobutterfly

On January 12th, 2020 we have one of themost important transits of the decade(yes, of the decade!): Saturn is conjunct Pluto in Capricorn.

I’ve already “warned” you in previous reports about Saturn conjunct Pluto. But perhaps you haven’t heard of it yet – and that’s simply because there’s not enough talk about this.

If you ask me, the Saturn-Pluto conjunction should definitely be in the news, because it’s indeed VERY important.

I get tons of emails and messages from people worried about how this conjunction may affect them. And I always reply with “don’t worry” because, indeed, we should never fear any transit out there. Everything that happens in the skies, happens for a very important reason.

Saturn Conjunct Pluto In Capricorn – The Transit Of The Decade

But there’s much more to it than “don’t worry about Saturn conjunct Pluto”. Saturn conjunct Pluto is indeed a monumental transit. This is not your usual Mercury retrograde. This is not even the once-in-a-year Jupiter ingress into a new sign. This is a once-in-30-to-40-years monumental shift that will profoundly influence every single one of us.

The last Saturn-Pluto conjunction in 1982 forever changed the face of the world; this conjunction occurred in Libra, the sign of balance and justice. In the last 4 decades, topics like gender balance, economic justice, and political correctness have come to the forefront for us to deal with.

The Saturn-Pluto conjunction in 2020 is in Capricorn, the sign of rules, hierarchies, and yes, politics. History is being written in front of our eyes. The “old rules” are rewritten for modern times. And this is just the beginning.

Saturn conjunct Pluto is not the end. Saturn conjunct Pluto is the beginning. Every time two planets meet in a conjunction, a new cycle begins.

That’s why there’s no apocalypse to come. This is just the beginning.

The current Saturn-Pluto conjunction is not a static moment in time. It doesn’t come one day, and leave the next. It is not an ‘outside event’ or something that you have to deal with temporarily. It is a reflection of where your whole life is at the moment.

Are you happy with your life? This means you made some good decisions 38 years ago, when we had the last Saturn-Pluto conjunction.

And if your life is not where you want it to be, you now have the chance to change that. Because yes, Saturn conjunct Plutoisa new beginning. And in the light of new beginnings, everything is possible.

What kind of new beginning?

Saturn and Pluto are the most difficult planets in astrology. We all dread our Saturn and Pluto transits. If you have natal Saturn or Pluto aspects, these are perhaps the most difficult aspects in your chart. They require the most work.

But why do you think it is like that? Do you think the Universe is just angry with you and wants to punish you with difficult aspects? With difficult transits? Why would it do that?

It’s true that Saturn and Pluto feel difficult. Your birth was difficult. Growing up is difficult. Relationships are difficult. Having to provide for yourself and your family is difficult. Learning from mistakes is difficult.

But it’s worth it. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be here.

Saturn And Pluto – Blessings In Disguise

Saturn and Pluto are not the bad guys we’ve been led to believe they are.

Yes, Saturn is all about rules. But what would this world be without direction? Yes, Saturn is the lord of time. But what would this world be without reflection? Saturn is the lord of karma, but what would this world be without consequences?

Pluto is the God of the Underworld. But what would day be without night? What would light be, without shadow? What would life be without death?

Ultimately, we all have to face our fears and limitations, because they are part of life. This is just how life works.

But we don’t always have the chance to do something about our fears and limitations.

Thankfully, sometimes the Universe aligns in such a way that allows change to happen.

The Saturn-Pluto conjunction will bring a deep restructuring at the core of our being. You just cannot retreat in a bubble and wait for January 13, 2020 (the day after the exact aspect). As a new world is about to emerge, a new you is about to come about.

Unlike other Saturn-Pluto conjunctions (and most outer planetary aspects) Saturn will conjunct Pluto only once. This is not the usual 3-part transit. So you won’t have a whole year to deal with it.

You deal with it only once. So you’ll have to give it your best shot, because there’s no 2nd Saturn-Pluto conjunction.

Saturn is the last planet visible with the naked eye. Saturn is the great teacher. Saturn is the barrier between the material world as we know it, and the possibilities that lay beyond.

Pluto is the last planet in our solar system. Pluto is the final frontier. No one knows what’s beyond Pluto.

But what we do know, is that when Saturn and Pluto join forces, there’s nothing they cannot achieve.

When you learn what Saturn and Pluto really want from you, you become resilient. And then it’s nothing that you cannot do. There’s nothing that you cannot become.

You can run away from Saturn and Pluto’s taught lessons, OR you can embrace them.

When we run away from Saturn and Pluto, we don’t only run away from problems. We run away from possibilities.

How would your life look like if you’d stop hiding? How would you feel if you’d truly open up to life? Would your career be more fulfilling? Would your relationships be more loving? Would you finally feel at ease with the world?

When we can handle Saturn and Pluto we can handle anything. And finally start living.

To help you deal with Saturn, Pluto, and the upcoming Saturn-Pluto conjunction, I created my best program yet, “Resilience – Thriving in the heart of Saturn and Pluto”.

“Resilience” is a 3-step process where you will:

Understand what Saturn wants from you

Understand what Pluto wants from you

Get ready for the next 33-year Saturn-Pluto cycle

This is the ONLY time I’m offering this program, because this is the only time Saturn and Pluto align the way they do. This is the best possible time to learn about your inner Saturn and your inner Pluto so you can become truly resilient.

******

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eldritchsurveys · 5 years

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583.

What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? >> Kyocera.

What are your 3 favorite internet sites? >> Right now it’s Readcomiconline.to, Longform.org, and MarkManson.net.

Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. >> No, I have a favourite pair of black jeans, and they’re just... black. Not much to describe.

What profession do you respect? >> I respect all professions, every worker is valuable. I just don’t respect some of the twisted and corrupt Systems that the upper echelon of certain professions create and protect (law enforcement, for example).

Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? >> Not to my recollection.

Have you ever ate something you've dropped on the floor, if so what? >> We clean our floors fairly often, so if I drop, like, a cracker on the floor I usually just pick it up and eat it. If I drop a peanut butter toast face down, though, I’m counting that as a loss.

Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? >> I can’t drive, so.

How do you know when you're in love, what's the main sign? >> I don’t know if that’s ever happened to me.

Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? >> Yeah, I’ve had a lot of things autographed by various musicians. I don’t have any of that stuff anymore, though, because I no longer see the point.

Do you prefer Walmart or Target? >> Target.

What do you long for? >> I long for the feeling of connection.

If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? >> I don’t want to be anyone’s personal assistant.

What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? >> That’s not a question I’m qualified to answer.

What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? >> Ambient noise and motion, usually.

Do you think society has become too PC (politically correct)? >> No.

What tragic love story do you relate to? >> I don’t know, I’ve never thought about it.

Has your intuition or "gut" served you well? >> I’ve also never thought about this.

What's the longest you've ever waited in line for something and what was it? >> I’ve waited overnight for concerts before.

Who is your favorite model? >> I don’t have one.

What have you done that is out of character for you? >> Nothing I’ve done is out-of-character because I’m not a character, I’m a person. If people find my behaviour unpredictable, then it’s by design, and they should revise the way they see me.

Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? >> Either is fine. Even if I don’t like the gift or end up regifting it or whatever, I still appreciate the gesture.

Who is the most visionary person in your life & how do they inspire you? >> I don’t know.

How do you handle a betrayal? >> I don’t know, I don’t even recall any betrayals I’ve had to handle.

What do you feel strong enough to protest about? >> I don’t really know how to answer this.

What's the biggest blooper you've never lived down? >> *shrug* I live everything down eventually. Everything moves on.

If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? >> ---

What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? >> I don’t have a closet.

What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? >> ---

What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can't? >> I have no idea. Stay alive and become a person I like, probably.

Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? >> I’ve been in court, but I’m not explaining that whole situation right now.

Do you believe in karma? >> No.

Are you more worried about doing the things right, or doing the right thing? >> I’m more concerned about just not fucking shit up. That’s good enough for me.

Do you believe in the term "Mother knows best? >> No.

Who is your favorite movie action hero? >> John Wick.

What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can't get elsewhere? >> ---

How important are looks in someone you're in a relationship with? >> Pretty important if it’s a sexual relationship, unimportant for any other kind.

What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? >> I don’t have an answer for this.

What are you most thankful for? >> My life and my mental health -- even if it’s fragile and unpredictable sometimes, it’s still way better than it could be.

Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? >> Radiolab is cool.

What was the last book you read? >> The last book I finished was The Lucifer Effect, fucking FINALLY.

What's your favorite online store? >> ---

What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? >> I don’t want to be a touring musician or a stage tech in the first place, so...

If you were to throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, it would say? >> I’m not going to do that. It’s a romantic idea and all but at the end of the day that’s just littering.

Do you have common sense or do you think people are lacking in it? >> I don’t believe in common sense.

What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink? >> Jasmine green tea or ginger beer.

How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? >> They’re fine? I don’t have any opinions on them.

What do you like to put gravy on? >> Biscuits.

Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? >> No.

What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? >> When Can Calah says kind things about me.

What is priceless to you? >> Er, my life and freedom, I guess?

What do you wait for discount sales to buy? >> Anything I can wait to own, that aren’t an immediate need. Like video games.

What is one thing you know about your family history you're proud of? >> ---

What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? >> Turbo Killer by Carpenter Brut, probably. I don’t know what else. Map Change by Every Time I Die?

What is the craziest thing you've ever done for someone? >> I have no idea. Put up with their shit? That’s pretty crazy if you ask me.

Do you keep a budget? >> No, I don’t have enough expenses to bother keeping track of them in any formal way.

If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? >> I’d rather not.

What makes you feel rested and refreshed? >> Sleep?

What is the funniest joke you have ever heard about? >> I don’t know.

Who depends on you the most? >> No one depends on me in any significant way.

Could you ever be someone's bodyguard? >> No.

Has one of your biggest fears come true? >> No.

Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand? >> ---

Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? >> I don’t have any battles that I’d want other people to be involved in.

Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? If so, what were two things you wanted? >> Hell no.

Have you ever ridden on a subway or train an what did you like about it? >> Yes, I’ve ridden subways and trains a million times. I don’t know what it is about the subway that I like so much (aside from the convenience, which is... kind of dubious anyway if you factor in how underfunded and overtaxed the MTA is), but I do love it.

What song on your playlist gets played the most? >> I’ve discussed that already.

Have you ever received a harsher punishment than you deserved? >> Yeah.

Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? >> ---

Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? >> I personally find that my understanding gains more depth when I actually experience something. That’s not to say I want to experience everything I’m interested in understanding (I don’t want to become a serial killer, for example, no matter how interesting I find the psychology).

Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? >> Yes.

Finish the next line in your style: Roses are red, violets are blue... >> No.

What embarrasses you instantly? >> I have no idea.

Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? >> No. Because I really don’t want to be one.

Do you often read your horoscope? >> No.

What current event are you tired of hearing about? >> I don’t hear about any current events often enough to get tired of it, because I don’t immerse myself in the news.

Are you a daredevil? >> Not really.

What common pitfalls do you find yourself dealing with in your work life? >> ---

Describe your "poker face". >> My resting face is a poker face. People tend to read all kinds of things into it (usually negative things), because I guess they can’t stand a simple blank slate.

What do you think should be censored? >> Oh, I don’t know.

Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? >> Not to my knowledge.

Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? >> Maybe. That’s not a situation I can actually imagine myself in, so I can’t predict my behaviour.

How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? >> I remind myself that I’ve been through hard times before. Go through enough of them and you end up with a pretty intimate knowledge of your own resilience, I’d say.

Have you ever fired a gun? >> No.

Do you think people, including yourself live up to their full potential? >> I don’t believe in this “full potential” shit and I’m tired of hearing about it.

How are you different from most people? >> I don’t know. I assume I’m really not all that different from most people, aside from a few details.

What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? >> The ability to learn from one’s mistakes and understand that you can’t control everything.

What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? >> Well, humanity, certainly.

How do you feel about GMOs? >> I don’t have any feelings about them as a whole.

Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? >> Yeah. Because I was on drugs.

Who is a female role model in your life? >> ---

What childhood dreams have you neglected? >> ---

How often do you reevaluate your life? >> I don’t really feel the need to “reevaluate my life”. I’m pretty aware of what’s going on in my life on a regular basis.

What's your favorite place just to hang out? >> My bedroom.

What gives you a zest for life? >> A strong survival instinct? I don’t know.

What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? >> I don’t know.

What three things do you think of most of each day? >> I’m not sure what I think about most. I think my thoughts are way too numerous and circumstantial to keep track of in any meaningful way.

Would you travel to space if possible? >> I would love to.

Name a famous person you wouldn't mind for a business partner. >> ---

#surveys #survey #random survey

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mandimormon-blog · 7 years

Text

Life is Messy

It’s time to put the broken pieces together, and actually complete this journal entry. It’s Wednesday, November 1. I have wet-looking, large eyes, (okay, not as large at the Snapchat filter) but I feel like that’s how I see myself when I visualize myself these days, using that big-eyed, big-mouthed filter, with a voice changer.

My youngest daughter and son are playing “school” together in our ultra-clean living room, ehhh, ultra-clean-ish, since they got home, I guess I do see a few candy wrappers on the floor, from yesterday evening or maybe breakfast this morning. I knocked on Remi’s door, and could hear her chewing in her room, apparently partaking of candy for breakfast. Let me end this blog on a positive note though and talk about yesterday, later.

Those wet-eyes I’m referring to are from the many tears and all of the sobbing I just finished up with, on the way home from my daughter’s Ballet Class. I thought I was doing better. I was feeling pretty good, but clearly, my feelings caught up to me. The busyness and distractions can’t distract forever. Why was I crying?

Well while in Danville, Jude ran back to the dance studio, from Joann Fabrics, and I walked, I wasn’t going to run across the mall, keeping him in eyeshot. Opened the door, plopped ourselves down on two small, wooden children’s chairs to wait the 1-2 minutes left of class. We time it quite perfectly, because a six year-old (wild) boy + waiting doesn’t really mesh. Honestly, I’m surprised he will even spend time in Joann Fabrics with me.

I heard through the door of one of the rooms a familiar song but I couldn’t place it. Don’t you just hate that? When you know a song but you can’t figure out what song it is? This happens all of the time! Oh, music, you’ve had such an impression on me, all of my life.

So, Remi emerges from the room, after the other girls, with a huge smile on her face, and a little pep in her step, because she loves ballet. She loves it. As she and Jude talk and she giggles with another little ballerina and we make our way out to the car, and I return any messages before driving (unlike on the way over to Danville, when I didn’t even realize how far I’d gotten until I crossed the border, but we don’t need to talk about that - #distracted). After I checked and double-checked their seatbelts, and we were rollin’ out; I asked Remi about her dance class. Then out of curiousity, I asked if if that music I’d heard was coming from her studio or the other studio. She said, it was her room, and she could sing it for me: “It’s just a symphony…” in the most beautiful, little, eight year-old voice, and I started singing along with her, and then I added, “Glorious!”

Confused, she asked me how I know the words and that song. As I searched for it on my iPhone and we began listening to the very version she was dancing to, per her confirmation, by One Voice Children’s Choir. She then added, “Mom! Your eyes are wet. Are you crying?”

Sure enough, it didn’t stop. It was probably the ugly-face look, tear-streaming, uncontrollably from both eyes at one time, that rarely happens. I wasn’t bellowing but it wasn’t just a tear or two. I smiled through it and tried to stop myself, but I couldn’t. My own emotions, questions, thoughts, grief and series of recent experiences seemed to just hit me all at once. Remi interrupted my thoughts and my failed attempt to sing along, “Mom, stop crying. Are you going to cry like this when I dance?”

“I probably will, Remi, I’m sorry. This song is beautiful. I’m so excited to see you dance to this.”

Journal Entry: 10/29

The longest week of our life is coming to a finale.

Let me begin with last week was Fall Break, an extra-longer-than-normal Fall Break. My husband and I were pretty busy working and doing those crazy mundane tasks of daily living, plus community service. Being totally distracted from our family and we weren’t going anywhere, so, we decided that Friday, the 20th, to take the kiddos shopping in Champaign and enjoy a “fun day” out and about. Upon arrival at the mall, we rode the cool little animals around the mall for 15 minutes and shopped a little bit, and ate a delicious late-lunch at Red Robin.

Gosh, even to type what last Friday looked like seriously causes my heart to hurt. I had to get up and take a walk around my kitchen, get on my iPhone, and return to regroup.

When we returned home last Friday, I received my passport in the mail. This was a big, big deal. I was stoked out of my mind for it, that I created the Snapchat “Passport” Saga, which has now caught on and is a thing. When I say thing, I use that term loosely, because it’s only a “thing” to a few sixth grade girls. I used the amazing jumbo-mouth filter I spoke about during my last blog, you know, with the voice changer. That passport is going places. Even Reis’s friends have snagged it up and used it for their own stories, “with Amanda’s Passport.” I will share.

It’s all fun and games with you’re using Snapchat, you and your dozen twelve year-old friends, until someone pulls up to your house for your daughter and you’re alone, selfie-snapchatting yourself about to take a run “with your passport”.

In this moment, I nonchalantly, dropped my iPhone arm to my side, as if nothing were happening here, and hopped up, and tossed my passport into the upper kitchen cabinet. Then, answered my door. The irony of answering that door was a very ‘deja vu’ experience I’d had about three and a half years ago, in a way. A mother of a good friend of my daughter’s and her son came in and said they’d tried to call her and needed to speak with Reis about Jesse, her boyfriend, but wanted to filter it through me first.

After they expressed he’d been accidentally shot, I felt the fear and chills down my spine, an instant, intense nausea, and when they asked if they could speak with her personally, I asked them to filter it through my husband first because my mind was absolutely blown. He was still out back on the swing, Jude was in the boat, and I couldn’t help but sob and I asked him to come and listen to what they had to say. Then we brought the girls together, Reis and her best friend, Karma. Since we really didn’t know what would happen, we were hoping for recovery, even possible loss of an eye, and praying for a return to normal activity. This kid was extremely active, with a very promising future. The kids were even planning on going to visit him early next week.

Of course, they were nervous, crying on and off, and wanted to know how long he’d be hospitalized. With my education in Nursing and the unknown specifics, I think my intuition was saying, “Be positive, but prepare for the worst-case scenario”. I told the girls he was in the best possible care and I didn’t know any specifics as to what would happen. Relatively soon after this, it felt almost instantaneously, and after hearing a myriad of rumors and stories, we received nightmare news, that he didn’t make it. We called all of the parents together, first, before putting this onto the kids. After they all made it there, we sat the five children down in our living room, surrounded by their parents.

Breaking this awful news to the children, opened floodgates of tears and hugging and screaming and yelling, and every emotion all at once. It was misunderstood. It was tragedy. Grief. Hysteria. These children are eleven and twelve. These kids that were here ran around together constantly with this boy. They spent time at school together, time after school until dark together, weekends together, Facetiming, Snapchatting, Instagramming, Selfie-sending, the whole sha-bang of social media communications, usually by showing their faces or whatever kind of mischief they were into, one to another. They visited the Java on a regular basis, wreaking havoc, updating their “stories”, getting kicked out of CVS, going to the Dollar Store, Casey’s, and the park. The community saw these kiddos everywhere. The girls would watch Football games on Saturdays and Soccer Games, just so Reis could see this boy.

Grief is an overwelming force that demands to be felt. If you remember, I took a Faith Community Nursing class earlier this year, when things were as slow as they were going to be and the Grief Module was a toughy. In order to help anyone else with this kind of experience we needed to know how we personally felt about grief and loss, and then recollect our earliest experience with death or any significant losses.

Grief is a bomb dropped. Yesterday there was a house, with walls, a roof, and the smells of life steaming up the windows. Today, only rubble of a disaster. Shards of broken confidence and the dust of dreams litter a cracked foundation. (Stephanie Erickson, Author of Companion Through the Darkness) I’ve also heard of the wave-analogy. They keep coming but eventually, instead of all at once barely breathing in between, they lessen and sometimes occur unexpectedly. In the moment, eventually and time can’t even be considered. It’s now. It’s in the moment.

The morning after, I came downstairs and wrote this:

Journal Entry 10/21

I’ve been up for hours and it’s 6 AM. I woke up startled, holding my own breath, and then reality sunk in. Reality that seemed like a nightmare. It’s the kind of heartache you can feel in your bones. My eyes welled up with tears, and I made my way downstairs to check on more than a half a dozen eleven- and twelve-year old girls. Laying everywhere, on the floors and in the beds, sleeping, soundly -- their youthful faces puffy from the hundreds of tears they’d cried over the past hours. I put my sleeve up to my face to muffle my own audible sobbing. I just, so badly, wanted to pick my daughter up off the the floor, and hold her, and cry with her. I wanted to take that inevitable pain away, she would feel as soon as her eyes opened and reality hit her like a ton of bricks. That pain that’s staying for awhile and will never truly heal completely.

That numb, paralyzing feeling I had, has now shifted into another stage of grief cycle. Grieving is so very dimensional and demands to be felt and I know, according to the textbook, that’s okay and eventually things would get easier and happier moments would come, but when you’re in it - it’s the perfect storm. It needs to be expressed. It takes me back, three and a half years ago, when I was wondering how my daughter, Reis, eight years old, would take the devastation learning her father had died, by choice, unexpectedly.

Later at age 10, I witnessed the grief shift for her with the loss of a beloved pet, Amidee, which was a part of the family, this seemed to be incredibly traumatic but I later found out it was because of unresolved grief previously, and now, at age 12, her boyfriend - not to mention one of her very best friends (for several years) - and “first big crush” was gone, too, completely unexpectedly, tragically. Three very different, yet horrific experiences shared in our home, in the very same place with her, in our living room, surely digging up deeper wounds or really catalyzing the grieving process.

I felt her pain deeply, for my first ‘love’ had been her daddy, around her very same age. It feels so real when you’re in it and I was crazy about that boy, as I know, and anyone who knows these kids knows, Reis is about Jesse.

The grief for this eleven year-old boy, who stood just two days before, in our kitchen, with his big, beautiful, brown eyes, his unmatched wit, and his vibrant personality -- was hitting hard, in a way that cannot be described in words. This boy who’d been a wonderful friend to my daughter for years, and been a positive, encouraging role in her life, during this beginning transition into middle school, had been taken from this life, before the story was finished. Such permanence.

On the brink of complete and utter devastation, and all that encompasses that, here I am, replaying those “what if” and “why” questions, not fathoming the pain his mother is going through (thinking of my own sweet son) or this boy’s father, or his dear brother, and sister and all of their family, grieving their great loss and grieving for each other. My thoughts traced over everyone who called this little boy a “son” because he was truly a best friend to several boys and a few moms saw him very often, anyone who loved this guy - these thoughts, on repeat, through my mind, and searching for words of comfort, before putting on my own armor for the day, to be present, a shoulder for my sweet baby girl to cry on, a game face for dozens of friends and families. This group of friends, so close and always together, have just had their lives altered forever. This boy was one-of-a-kind, irreplaceable, and he’s left an impression on all of hearts and minds, leaving us changed, forever.

On Sunday, Jesse and Kolton came inside, and waited on the girls to put on sweatshirts and go out into the drizzly elements. I didn’t feel great that day, but I did snap a picture of the girls leaving and the boys were on the steps, barely visible. That day was the same day the kids had been stalking Jesse’s photos on social media, and snapchatting him photos of them, with the line from the song, Mad World. “All around me are familiar faces..” This is probably normal thing for little girls in middle school, in 2017. Then they all left but came back through later when we were working on the flag for the boat, my husband constructed in 90 minutes.

On Wednesday of that week, he’d been inside the house, because the girls said it was “too cold” to be outside, at 55 degrees. Reis had slumped her shoulders down and was dragging her feet around the kitchen declaring her hunger, it was 12:01 p.m.. As I leaned against the bar, on my phone, without looking up, I selfishly said, “Get yourself some food, there’s plenty here, find something.”

Reis then sent my husband a message asking him to get them food and there was a whole orchestra of messages between the three of us. Reis expressed she hadn’t been feeling well and the only real meal she’d had, the evening before, was a salad from the Beef House. (Real first world problems, here.) It was true, she missed school that Monday, because she had been under the weather, but I insisted she go Tuesday if she wanted to see her friends on Tuesday evening or throughout Fall Break.

Since she wasn’t against gluten-free nuggets and fries from the freezer bin, I whipped out the jumbo package of ground beef and made cheeseburgers, g/f mac-n-cheese, green beans, and potato wedges.

The squad: Reis, Karma, Kennady, Ella, all sat around the dining room table, and Jesse stood next to Reis, saying he was good, each time I offered, stating he had a large breakfast. The girls pigged out, per the norm, and my husband came in and sat in the empty seat at the dining room table, asking everyone to listen up. This was about to get good. My husband and I are huge fans of ‘Resilience’, and he had a way about conveying a good message to these youngsters.

In a calm, very rational manner, he asked the girls what the word, “Entitlement” meant. Jesse cut into the conversation, “I’m not very smart, you’re gonna have to tell me.” Allen, gently corrected him, “You’re smart. It’s okay if you don’t know, I want to explain it.”

He then read from the definition (which later I was told by Reis that the girls thought Allen didn’t know the definition and that was why he was reading it), and discussed what it was to have ‘privileges’.

*Crickets*,yet, again, but by this point, Reis sprang up and cleared her plate and began working on the dishes. Our eyes met twice and she gave me ‘the look’ of utter humiliation and embarrassment.

Jesse, always outspoken, commented how he really didn’t have privileges, the girls agreed they didn’t either, but Allen, again, gently corrected them all by explaining the cell phone was a privilege, not a right, as was the time the kids were able to hang out together, the sports and activities, they most likely don’t fund themselves, and the list goes on.

All-in-all the conversation was for Reis’s benefit, and I’m positive she’ll never forget it. I know I won’t. I whispered to her, her friends know her dad and her friends are not upset or offended, they are just fine and dandy. Clearly, they were laughing and conversing with him even after the “talk” was over. After he left, and I was drying the dishes, I witnessed Reis snapchatting Jesse from across the room while Ella, Kennady, and Karma lounged on the floor and couch, and Jude, too, Jude occasionally showing Jesse his game because he honestly has always thought when Jesse, Josh, or Kolton come over, it’s to play with him.

Later, I said something about my passport, and Jesse asked me where I was going, and I said, “To Mexico!” in an over-exaggerated voice, Reis didn’t miss a beat, because she said, “Your home country”, back to him. I then raised an eyebrow at them both, and he said, “Yeah, did you know I’m from Mexico?”

“Jesse, I know your who your parents are, you’re not from Mexico.” He then told me, “Yeah, I know. But they say I am because I’m tan.”

Later, I went into Reis’s room, and tiptoed over the bags and clothing that had been “straightened up”, when motion caught my eye outside of her bedroom window. I peered outside to see Jesse, wearing a Sombrero along with his buddies, too, with Kolton, the Copas Boys, Davy, possibly a Kindell boy, too, and my son, in the custom “Despacito” a boat, my husband had constructed. The girls were standing all around, too, and I said, “Allen, come here and look at this sight. Grab my phone. I need to take a photo.” I didn’t get my phone and never took a photo but it’s imprinted in my mind, forever.

The boat evolved from a fishing pole. My son begged me to make a fishing pole with him, so I did. We both used sticks and tied a small ribbon to the end. Funny thing is, we fished up some leaves because the ends of the ribbons were fuzzy enough to pick them up. We pretended we were fishing from our dock (aka picnic table) and the tailgate of my husband’s truck, and Jude would do the commentary of our excursion. I feels like a lifetime ago, since this happened, since so very much has happened, seriously.

Life has a way about teaching you about priorities. Doesn’t it?

The candlelight vigil was something I’d never experienced and a spiritual feeling I’d never felt before, ever. It was beautiful. A moment I remember while shuffling around trying to make sure everything was good to go, was watching my daughter walk, briskly toward the restroom. I could see her wiping her eyes more than once on her way there, so I followed her. When I walked up to the doorway, I witnessed her sobbing, embraced by a group of her friends, all crying together. It was beautiful and painful all at once. She saw me and gave me the nod (aka the head shake) that I wasn’t needed here, so I turned around and walked away.

I can’t express how much it hurts or how helpless a mother feels when she can’t take the pain away. She can’t make it better. She can’t fix this. I’m learning. A good friend visited me during lunch, while I was in the office, yesterday. He had heard something that made him think of Reis and of me.

He told me about the Metamorphosis of a Butterfly. As we all know, the butterfly doesn’t begin as a butterfly, but rather a caterpillar. Then before the big change, it forms a chrysalis and eventually emerges, completely changed as a butterfly.

A scientist was observing this process, and he noticed the butterfly he was observing was having trouble emerging. So, he simply clipped the top of the sac and almost immediately and simply, the butterfly was able to get out. Yet, even though this seemed to make it easier, the butterfly’s wings did not expand and it never took flight.

Why? Because the butterfly needed that experience, to breakthrough the sac without aide, in order to pump fluid from it’s abdomen through the veins in the wings, which causes the wings to expand to their full size. It’s something the butterfly must go through to fly.

Initially, this story hurt my heart. I think it’s pretty normal for us, as parents, to want our children to live very uneventful, normal lives, with little suffering, grief, and anxiety. We don’t want our child bullied. We don’t want them to feel lonely or depressed. Naturally, we don’t want them to hurt or to feel pain. We want to take their pain away, “fix it”. We’d gladly take on their suffering if we could.

Even friends feel this way. I can’t even tell you how many kids, said to me, they wished they could take Jesse’s place, so their friends wouldn’t be hurting so much, because he was such a great person, and so Reis would be okay.

These comments aren’t alarming because they were each saying this only out of love.

They love Jesse, they are going to keep loving Jesse, and they love each other, yet this wasn’t their path or plan. I assured each of them they are meant to be here, right now, for each other, and although we can’t put the ‘why things like this happen’, into words, one day we will look back on this and see what kind of growth came from this experience, how this changed our life, how we could help other people and how we were better friends. Jesse’s charisma and goodness can be emulated in each of our lives, every day. As hard and as cliche as it may sound, he can live on, through us.

Yet with removing trivial pursuits, as my husband says, “You’ll find a new obsession or addiction.” That obsession is Snapchat.

I created a “story” on Halloween Eve (Is that a thing? Maybe I should say on October 30) the Five Step Approach to TP’ing Homes. In fact, I sent it to all of my snappy buddies, then I had to create a collaboration of those five things for “My Story”. It was about as epic as The Passport Saga: Oh The Places Amanda’s Passport Will Go, I mentioned.

As mentioned, the median age of my Snapchat Friends is probably 12, and I’ve recently come to the conclusion that a Twelve Year-Old Girl is most likely my Spirit Animal. Clearly, because that’s what I went as for Halloween. That or “Mama Vandallama” my criminal alias.

So, I washed my hair extensions, finally. They’d survived Tyreischella with Boho Braids, and feathers still affixed, and Haunted Trailz, on Saturday, when I gave it my best acting skills plus the girls clipped my extensions into Whylee’s hair after the Trailz. Those extensions needed recovery.

Ok, and to be real honest, we tried doing what the Trailz Coordinator wanted, during Haunted Trailz. My husband was supposed to appear to be dragging me across the trail and apparently, my acting skills are rusty and maybe we shouldn’t even refer whatever I did as acting or a skill. So, I played “dead”, trail goers would shine the flashlight on my “pretend dead” acting, which allowed my husband to come up from behind, in a creepy mask, and startle them pretty, darn good. This lasted for only a couple of hours, because by that point we had a dozen sixth graders asking to go home to the warmth, and they weren’t going unattended.

Anyway, shampooed extensions, lying out to dry. A friend of mine stopped in with some money from the event over the weekend, and she mentioned another perfect addition to the ‘Four-become-Five Step How to TP Approach’, and I added that in. I let her in on what was going down because at that point I had a pair of black panty hose on my head like a do-rag which may have seemed a little more legit since my “weave” was out on the counter.

On Halloween morning, I clipped in my extensions, to prepare my disguise for the evening. After returning home from work that day, I opened my daughter’s room to half a dozen girls dressed in all black, as instructed. I then put on some war paint, and was ready. I found it pure comedy as more kids showed up to our home, they openly were being dropped off by their parents and carrying 4-6 rolls of toilet paper in their arms. I guess there were no objections or clearly those kids had a stellar alibi-to-come. I’m gonna go with the no objections option.

There were 8, then 9, then 11, then 16 kids in our group. It felt a lot like the meme “I feel young until I hang out with twelve year-olds, then I remember I’m definitely 31.” They didn’t really have a plan, and when they thought they had a plan, they actually knocked on their teacher’s door. They were chased off a majority of the time, which is comical, and by the time we stopped in for some free hot dogs at the Old Gym, they were ready to have an “escape vehicle”. Sadly, my husband’s truck was containing some doors and junk that wouldn’t support 12 kids, too, so we took the “Hot Mess Express” (my Mountaineer). The juvenile delinquents put the seats down (both rows), so it was flat, and they insisted on maneuvering safely in and out of the vehicle by keeping the tailgate lifted the entire time. Remi came, too, so she said on my console, and I always had a co-pilot. We tried a few teacher’s houses and relative’s homes, but inevitably each and every time, the kids would come in a dead sprint back, and without time for a roll-call, I’d yell, “Are we all in?” “YES! GO GO GO!” and I’d almost have to close my eyes and speed off. Nice thing about keeping that tailgate lifted, even while driving down Liberty Street or Third Street was my license plate wasn’t showing. So, unless one of the dozen kids in the back were ID’d, jail was looking like more of an idea rather than a destination for me, that evening. “Accompanying 16 Minors” would have been epic, but I’m glad we safely and reasonably toilet papered and Ding Dong Ditched.

The spin off the DDD was we purchased actual individually wrapped Ding Dongs, and left those at most of the homes, true Ding-Dong Ditchin’.

This morning, when I woke up I felt like I needed about 24 more hours of sleep. I wasn’t sore from running around but the few short sprints I did partake of, I wasn’t prepared for, whatsoever. I may run 4-6 miles most weekdays, but those are leisurely. Laughing, talking, texting, and running, no sprinting, no loss of air or breath, just leisure -- and if you refer to it as jogging, I take offense.

There are times when You might feel aimless And can't see the places Where you belong But you will find that There is a purpose It's been there within you All along And when you're near it You can almost hear it It's like a symphony Just keep listening And pretty soon you'll start To figure out your part Everyone plays a piece And there are melodies In each one of us Oohhh it's glorious And you will know how To let it ring out As you discover Who you are Others around you Will start to wake up To the sounds that are In their hearts It's so amazing What we're all creating It's like a symphony Just keep listening And pretty soon you'll start To figure out your part Everyone plays a piece And there are melodies In each one of us Oohhh it's glorious And as you feel The notes build Higher You will see It's like a symphony Just keep listening And pretty soon you'll start To figure out your part Everyone plays a piece And there are melodies In each one of us Oohhh it's glorious

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channellingenigma-blog · 8 years

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Notes and conversations with low vibrating entities and enlightenment of higher forms

Edgar Cayce - On Reincarnation Chapter 3 - Man’s subconscious mind is immortal. Thought can be compared to molten lava- malleable, perpetually moving, changing, capable of resuming any form. Solid mater is its inanimate aftermath, responsive only to the chisel and the hammer.

Im-Pro-Vision Thought is a builder A series of chain reaction that survival of the soul molds its destiny Thought was the original motivating force positive thought can eventually release the soul from solid matter and return it to freedom of its fluid state at the astral level.

E. Cayce was able to contact his superconscious by means of his own quite unique form of self-hypnosis, it must be born in mind by the reader that he is the expectation, a glimpse of ourselves as we will be Tomorrow. (Tomorrow is now.)

*******The still small voice of consciousness~~~~ Reflection (personal thought which resides in me) Thought: -Waiting for re-entry- ********Quiet~~~~

Souls are like installments of a serialized novel in a magazine. To be continued is our next issue.

so, your soul dies at the end of life and appears again in a new body, you do not start from scratch, you pick up exactly where you left off.

(intuitive question: If you pick up where you left off…. whats the point of waiting for re-entry? You’ll be in the same predicament) =Answer. The idea of being younger and picking up where I left off could potentially have better results then making any attempt to fix where I am at right Currently there is a lack naivety=

The next “para”-graph. *clarity level: Moderate Quick synopsis Failed to curb a passion for through rocks through greenhouses Next life you can resign yourself to owning a greenhouse where you you’ll have to enjoy being at the receiving end. Grin and bear every clash of a rock as it glides through the window. Every bash makes the score as even or karmic value. If you dip into self pity, insisting you’ve done nothing to deserve such a fate, simply put you lose.

So… (smart ass remark) reincarnation……. Grin and bare it.

_developing understand_ The Im-pro-vision at the top, cryptically and figuratively describes this as well

%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Sub-chapter: Free Will is stronger then Destiny %%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%

Karma is memory, thus the laws of cause and effect were elastic. However sore the traits may be in which you find yourself there by your own previous indifference. You broke your own free will. Knowing this allows you dignity and self-respect that you made your own mistakes.

Chapter 4 Physical and Emotional Karma %%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Sub-chapter 4 Arrogance and Self-righteousness %%%%%%%%%%%%%%% Condemning of others is already a condemning of self

Reflection Meets Smartass***** *based on a conversation I just have, i apparently find myself to be a lazy sack of shit, being I stated others perceive me that way.

*observations* I may have been active in another life, so this one, I’ve slowed down. I may have been wealthy in another life and lived beyond my means, ad this one I am average and live only within my means, I may have been extremely social in another life, now i like a life of isolation (Focus on above during mediation/trance)

Done onto others shall be Done onto you, Done onto others we do onto self.

*observation/breakdown of Sub-chapter* I may have chosen this chapter also to help my own soul growth/understanding. The sub chapter is about one woman’s readings of her emotional karma which i seem to be relating too, or at least there is internal resonation which is creating reactions within the tension of muscles in my face and body heat. It also seems to map out this particulars woman’s soul journey through 3 lives and how they may possibly be intersecting and where she may have missed or gained opportunities for soul growth.

Chapter 5 - The element of fear in emotional karma Sub-Chapter - The Root Cellar A woman asked Cayce why she has so much fear in the present. His response: She had be subjected to many fears in a physical sense in her pervious lives, and these have come through to her in the present through her subconscious memories.

*Im-Pro_Vision* (in the form of a rhyme) Harvest energy, expending fear. Create some kind of positive ideal. Profit rather the Lose, the Karmic Dues.

Another reading, of a girl, chosen intuitively to read which again resonates with persona inflictions seen within myself.

*quote is speaking of girl mention above* “Once she understood the source of her social timidity, it had the effect of exonerating the innocent people she had needlessly been fearing and enabling her to see them in an objective, congenial light.”

Being: Why don’t we remember our past lives? E.C: We do not have to remember. We are the sum total of all our memories.

Slight improvisation, “time catch up” *Im-Pro_Vision* We are the manifestations of our habits, idiosyncrasies, likes and dislikes, or talent and blind-spots, our physical and emotional strengths and vulnerabilities.

Strange… odd… I’ll have to make a photocopy when i return the book but Page 522 unto 523… all have key points of thinks PFJ have said to me during our time in union with one another. Im pretty sure he side them before his discovery of E, Cayce. His voice kept transmitting at the parts he once said to me. (He was in my dream once again, Only long enough to look one another in the eyes while in a convenient store.) (Remove para-graph before final print out, insert photocopy. Make side notes)

Final Note on Chapter….

“you will know the reasons deep within self”

Chapter 8 - Man__ The stranger in the earth.

There is a scenario given about E. Cayce being evicted from his physical body by the self-hypnotic process. (This is now considered an OBE/Astral projection) He makes reference to levitating above about a foot above his physical body. A gentleman in the room was handing a note across E. Cayces body to another person in the room and Cayce could feel the impact of the mans fist going through his astral equivalent body, as though he was being punched.

The body has the ability to separate itself into at least three separate levels of electric vibration. (this is much like dividing atoms into separate energies, all different but coexistence.) Its liking moving from plane to plane of consciousness with the ease of a man switching from AM to FM and then to TV on the same console. (now thats something to think about)

(Not in book, from Wiki) AM Frequency ~~~~~~~~ (250 - 50000 Watts) FM Frequency ^V^v^V (Uses VHF frequencies, see below) TV Frequency (54-216mzh) VHF (470-890mhz) UHF (Also TV also adds in projections)

*Sub-Chapter - The Same Law Governs all Planets* “Each individual must lead this own life, whether in this sphere or in the other planes”

-A quote similar to above hangs on my wall-

**Observation** Its not stated here, but each of the planets represent part of the souls path. Earth is know to be bound with knowledge. We learn here, while on other planets our soul energies grow differently. https://youtu.be/b6Zt37aMROM What I believe E. Cayce means by “All insufficient matter is cast to saturn” is its kind of like in incubator, its helps parts of souls which have fallen to far behind. Now I prose a question, if we are all interconnected, our soul origins must be as well. SO the question is, What if within this human shell, a part of our soul reaches a level of growth. I am beginning to believe we are not designated one soul as a whole through out our time here on earth. Parts of the developed soul leave the shell and is replaced by another soul/energy. Considering how often people change through out their time here on earth its quite possible this could contribute to the reasoning.

**Sub-Chapter** The Planetary Influences

Few things on this sub-chapter, its rather short.

1. The planet influencing earth minds was mars And by 1924 mars would be 35million miles away from earth. Currently in 2016 Mars 33.9 million miles away…. I made a video based on mars influence in Nov. 2015… while mars was at its farthest position from the sun. (Not sure what the significance of the last part is, but i feel it coincides)

Okay. Now this is were it gets interesting….

Next Cayce says The influences (of mars) will be felt as it recedes from the earth and those who have sojourned on mars will be express, in their lives upon the earth, the troublesome times that will arise.

This will only be tempter from those of jupiter, venus, and uranus by means of love and strength.

Now…. how to we know who is from where? Do we use our astrological birth charts which reads what stars where in what place at the time of our birth? Is it purely intuitive?

*Sub-Chapter* The Astrological Influences,

The planets of man are ruled by the planet under which is born. The strongest force affecting the destiny of man is the Sun, then the closer planets to the earth, those coming to accession a the time of the birth of the individual.

Mans own will power is stronger then any action of a planet or of sun and moon phases. (Yet becomes extremely helpful when one loses their on will power. This could possibly be why intuition steps in. Its a quick glimpse of the magic of energy, energy has “power” properties, just as energy is needed to put will into motion.)

**Sub-Chapter - The Soul;s immunity to Death**

A soul freed by death could be compared to anything which is capable of floating free from restriction A soul encased in a living body can be compare to anything being held in place yet has movement.

Thought-Forms: Concentrated thought yet lacking solidity of mundane matter. Souls could be considered a thought-from when they are free from a body,

*Observation,Refection,Rant,Connecting the Dots* Regardless that there is truth to “thoughts are things” I still strongly believe it should be worded “Things are thoughts” A lot of thoughts never become things, yet things normally originated as thought. A few years ago a massive brainwashing went through mainstream media, which is still known to this day as “The secret” The company apparently coined the term “thoughts are things” then added the threat “pick good ones” Well quiet frankly ever since my eyes have open up to this horrible nature of this world of massive mind control I’ve been trying extremely had to kill myself through thought froms and manifestations which clearly hasn’t happen yet. So why would that be!?

What Cayce says is this: On all mental levels other than the conscious mind, “Thoughts are things” and thus a thought-form, once its created, is as real and tangible as the mind which created.,,, Now this is what the Secret doesn’t tell you….. It (as in thought-forms, got to keep you with me here) can only manifest itself to the conscious mind as a vision or a hallucination (which yes, makes you delusional) Now Cayce makes reference to LSD being able to break down a “protecting barrier and submit the “user of lsd” to a direct contact with thought-forms not only of his own, but of others.

&&&Inner Thoughts Woven&&& Now myself personally, i have never done LSD, Mushrooms, DMT, Peyote or Acid, I have been effected by thought-froms not only of my own, but of others.

Cayce died in 1945 something must have change.

I will allow your imagination to build up a conclusion. I have about 5 of my own ideas, so being Its a thought now, does that make it a thing? No. ONLY a manifestation with a possibility of truth, yet unproven, I can develop the thought form enough that it projects as real, yet it is still only a hallucination or a delusion, DMT is a powerful psychedelic compound which was synthesized in 1931, 1946 it was discovered in plants, 1960 it was detected in mammalian organisms, in 2011 DMT was found present in primates, located in the pineal gland, retinal ganglion neurons, and spinal cord, and in 2013 DMT was located in the pineal gland of rodents. There is record is DMY also naturally occurring in the human brain.

The Pineal gland is also known as the third eye…. the minds eye. Allow you imagination to digest that. &&&&End&&&

#####When Laura occupies Cayce##### The creator never intended for souls to manifest on earth. in human bodies; there was no division of the souls into males and female, therefor the animal reproduction wasn’t available to them. So the souls would occupy animal bodies, (think of a hermit crab trying to occupy a koch shell, the “shell’ was already occupied.) Two entirely alien forms of life were sharing a common physical heritage. This may very well be the start of evolution. Hence why we are linked not only to primates but reptiles as well. (all hypothetically “thinking”) #########

Cayce Quote “We find these sons of the Creative Forces looking upon those changed forms, the Daughters of Men. And there crept in thsoe pollution’s; or rather, they polluted themselves with those mixtures, This brought contempt, hatred, bloodshed, and those impulses which build for self-desire, without respect for another’s freedom.”

What the quote is making reference too:

Bolder souls employed their free will to intrude into a denser vibration of animal matter, the wiser hesitated, and it was well that they did.

The souls who found themselves entrapped into their flesh prisons where unable to extricate themselves….

&&&inner thought&&& (oh the many times in the last year my soul seems to be realizing its entrapment. The time the inner voice has screams “GET ME OUT OF HERE” as if begging for death, but knowing it can’t be self inflicted. &&&&

The alien matter of the material world now acted like a gears of a machine. It engorged the souls and swept them souls along with it, unable to conform to or escape the laws of animal evolution, it was a planet of half man and half beast.

The souls who had remained free were unable to come to the rescue. They could only look on, helpless and bewildered.

This when Cayce says the Creator made man. These are what he calls the “Sons of God” The souls who inhibited animal bodies are the “Sons of Man”

The Sons of Gods consisted of 5 race catagories. Black, Brown, Red, Yellow, Whtie

Cayce focused most of his attention on the Atlantis which cradled the “red race” yet he does make mention to the Lumiera which cradled the black race.

Atlantean Influences apply particularly to those soul-groups who chose NOT to reincarnate at a steady rate of progress. Atlantean’s commanded the powers of ESP and telepathy, harnessed electricity, mastered the mechanical propulsions of air and sea vessels, established short wave communications, induced longevity and performed advance surgery using their “source energy” and the misuse of the same energy destroyed them. (sound familiar? or is someone excreting a lot of DMT, the perspective is yours… lets continue)

Atlantean’s strived to alter and improve the laws of Nature, to attain a fantastic height of power and then proceeded to abuse it. The rejected the creator to worship their own vices. The remained perfectly aware of the laws of Karma, but made error of assuming there accumulated debt could easily be paid off at any given time in the future. When mans senses were reduced to a minimal of 5 they found themselves as impotent as a hermit crab without a shell.

The karmic debt was extended to infinity (incarnations), instead of two lives (incarnations) for their offensives against the creator, he now demanded thousands (incarnations).

Possible recognition of someone carrying the karmic debt of an Atlantan soul: Extremists Know no middle grounds Worship Lust, violence, and death

the living and the dead, is a metamorphous. The souls involved in the final armageddon will be the same souls he always were in the beginning. Nothing will have changed except the plane of consciousness they occupy. They will move from the confines of matter to the eternal plane of their origin.

Chapter 17 - The present attitude toward reincarnation. *Sub-chapter - The Public*

Basically the public sees reincarnation through the eyes of the masses. The more people who are “about something” makes it closer to truth, regardless if thats the actual case. Sure horrors are inevitaby assimilated by what Carl Jung calls the collective unconscious of an entire nation. When people contract an infection of the psyche, taboos retard its intellectual reason for generations to come.

We all have so much doubt, not only in ourself and each other, but our beliefs. We confine ourself to restraints of what the majority of people are doing, and we base our thoughts and actions on that alone. We stop thinking for ourself and conform to whatever one else is doing, and if you are one who steps away from the crowd, your quickly trampled by current of others. If your not trampled your ridiculed. You’re singled out. Not because you dared to be different but because the mass of those whom you refuse to be like all became one united judge, bang the mallet and declared you insane, or retarded, something in which they certainly are not.

When in the end, the difference should have been accepted,

Yet we all rather, and notice I said we, rather point fingers and cast blame.

Chapter 18 Reincarnation in the Future.

If reincarnation lies inherent in these deeper truths, it will be automatically recognized and accepted by the human race as they attain to that plateau of deeper perception. He could read minds and see auras. He would think of people in connection with their auras, the aura was the weathervane of the soul, it shows which way the winds of destiny are blowing. He felt the lost of eye sight may very well be a result of a constant straining on our eyes to see more, and to bring us to the next step of evolution. E. Cayce felt a possible from of our next evolution would be seeing auras, I second that, but I also think it involves projecting auras as well.

An aura is an effect, not a cause. Its caused by atoms and molecules how ever simple or complex to tell a story of itself, its patterns, its purpose through vibrations. As the soul travels through realms of beings creating the story, changing the patterns, as it may use or abuse the opportunities presented to it. The human eye sees all this through vibrations through color. Now I’d like to take a second to allow the imagination to accept, even if its pretending that auras can be seen by the human mind. If its vibrations there is movement and movement creates patterns, (think of a cup of water sitting on a table, then you slam your fist down the water in the cup begins to move) the ripples are projecting, so the auras could project with moods and thoughts to the point its visible to the eye which can already see an aura. Now, lets say a person is aware that yes, then can see auras, yes there is movement within the aura, what if you could control the movement of the aura to the point, its not surrounding you but is standing in front of you while you look in a mirror. Its interesting to humor to say the least if your a creative person who like to think different.

Now of course, everything one can get excited about, naturally has to have some kind of negative weight to create a balance. E. Cayce came up with an “imagine” scenario on the opposite side of the spectrum…. A soul could radiate history through aura vibrations. If another being is conscious enough to apprehend those vibrations in his self, that being would know the plight he us in the progress he’s made. Also imagine everyone who sees auras would know if your lying, you will have to be direct and there will be no more deceit.

Danger, Death, Catastrophe, will not come unannounced, no more surprises. All the information behind these examples as well as wealth, virtues, weaknesses will instantly be known by all those around you base on your vibration in the atmosphere. It is difficult to project ourselves in such world, a world where we see each other faults but then again how many vices would persist when they are known to everyone?

Every phase of phenomena may be explained by the activities of the subconscious mind. There are Do’s and Dont’s to telepathy. Through telepathy anyone who wants to control another person, can do it— but beware. The very thing you wish to control in the other person will be the thing that destroys you. Anyone who would force another to submit to his will is a tyrant, Do not ask another person to do anything would not do yourself.

At times we are able to sense what people are thinking and we learn the trend that their thoughts take. Going back to the history of Atlantis, such forces of mental telepathy where highly developed. There were numbers of people able to think with such concentration that the power of their will could bring material things into existence

Such forces for selfish purposes can result only in self destruction.

Back to the now… Few people allow other individuals to ive their own lives. Most people want to tell others how to life, wanting to force them to live their way and see things as they see.

If first a person seeks to know themselves then the ability to know another’s mind will come.

We have the right to tell people of our personal experiences and let them decide for themselves.

The answers come to each one of us, as to whether these abilities are worth developing or not. (In reference to abilities beyond our 5 sense)

Remember,

“When we use the forces within to serve the Creative Force then we are using them correctly. If we are using them for our own selfish interest they are being abused.”

End of Notes on “Edgar Cayce on Reincarnation”

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purplesurveys · 4 years

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703

What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? It was a Nokia. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Mmm at the moment it would be Twitter, YouTube... and Twitter? Hahaha I don’t typically go on a bunch of sites these days.

Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. Yeah my current favorite are my mom jeans. They’re high-waisted, fit but not skinny, they’re basically really comfy to wear and they go well with every top. What profession do you respect? All jobs are worthy of respect but at the moment I particularly admire the frontliners from doctors and nurses to grocery clerks to janitors. All fucking badass in their own ways. Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? Minor ones in the past. Was never a fan.

Have you ever ate something you've dropped on the floor, if so what? Yep. I always eat food I drop on the floor/ground but the one time it ended up being nasty for me was when I dropped a couple of siomai, picked them up and ate them, and they turned out to have a bit of gravel already D: Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? Yeah why not? The job sounds pretty cool honestly. I’d love to earn money just by driving and still helping people in the process. How do you know when you're in love, what's the main sign? I stare. I do it secretly, but I still stare. That or I act increasingly aloof around them. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? I didn’t watch them put an autograph on it but I’ve bought something that was personally signed at some point. I got a signed AJ Lee poster that was being sold on WWE Shop. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? I wouldn’t know which one is better or has more stuff. What do you long for? Restaurant food. Window shopping. Taking strolls at the mall. DRIVING. If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? I wanna say Beyoncé but I feel like I’d just be intimidated by her? Lmao so I’d go with Chrissy Teigen. I want someone who’s gonna be as clumsy as I am. What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? Go to a therapist or psychiatrist, for a start. What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? Usually it’s social media. When I’m working I always have to have Twitter and/or Facebook either open in existing tabs, or I open tabs to quickly check them every ten minutes or so and then close them. Do you think society has become too PC (politically correct)? Yeah but I honestly don’t mind it because it at least means people are taking steps in becoming more sensitive. What tragic love story do you relate to? I dunno, I haven’t had a tragic relationship experience myself. If anything though the plot of Hello Love Goodbye hits home quite hard. Has your intuition or "gut" served you well? Ugh, quite often. And it’s always my gut feeling for worst case scenarios that turn out to be true, which sucks even more. What's the longest you've ever waited in line for something and what was it? Driver’s license. Took seven hours lining up for the damn thing. Who is your favorite model? HAHAHAHAHAHA I always stay quiet about this cos she’s such an unpopular choice, but I really have a bias for Kendall Jenner byeeeeeeeeee. But Kiko Mizuhara is beautiful, too. What have you done that is out of character for you? Take up an externals VP position. I’ve never been the type, but I took on the job because no one else would take it and I didn’t want my org to die. Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? Honestly it’s the thought that counts. If they believed I’d love a gift card to somewhere I like like a bookstore, I’d love it. If they bought me something they remembered me in, I’d love it just as much. Who is the most visionary person in your life & how do they inspire you? Gabie. She’s just so hardworking, so ambitious, she takes no shit and it’s all I want to see in people. How do you handle a betrayal? Cutting ties. What do you feel strong enough to protest about? The current administration in general, anything that aims to glorify the piece of shit that was Ferdinand Marcos, media censorship or journalist killings, any anti-poor policy. What's the biggest blooper you've never lived down? The one time we were playing Heads Up and instead of saying puto bumbong I said puto bimbing. It’s ALLLLLLLWAYS brought up to me at family reunions, and honestly it’s pretty damn funny so I laugh along with my relatives hahaha. I’m trying to think of an equivalent in English so you can understand how ridiculous it sounds in Filipino and it’s pretty much on the same tier as that viral post that talks about how they said “Are you fucking sorry?!” when they wanted to say “Are you okay?” but also “I’m fucking sorry” at the same time HAHAHAH If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? Probably Mexican or Tex-Mex comfort food. It seems to be a hit in Filipino markets and it has similar ingredients to our own food. What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? A buuuunch of old books that were assigned readings to me in grade school and high school, children’s encyclopedias, some book series I’ve had since I was a kid, other lesser-known short novels. So books, basically. What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? In driving school I was taught in a sedan, but when I was done with the classes I practiced some more in my current car, a hatchback. What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can't? Cutting class. Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? Nope. Do you believe in karma? Sure. Not in a religious way, but the idea that people who do shitty stuff have their ass handed back to them at some point in the future is a comforting thought. Are you more worried about doing things right, or doing the right thing? Doing the right thing, as someone who’s afraid of punishment or getting caught lmao. Do you believe in the term "Mother knows best?” Not always. My mom can be pretty tone-deaf about a number of stuff. Who is your favorite movie action hero? Not a fan of action and not a fan of superheroes. What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can't get elsewhere? My city always makes me feel nostalgic and getting to the top is always magical. I’ve never felt the same anywhere else. How important are looks in someone you're in a relationship with? Pretty important but it’s not everything. I had a crush on Gabie mainly because of her looks but I also considered dating Mike even though I didn’t find him good-looking, so it varies. What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? LMAO going to the fucking washroom. I dunno the situation anywhere else but some high-end malls in Manila will CHARGE you ₱5 or ₱10 for going to their washrooms. Like what the fuck?????? It’s so ridiculously pretentious that I completely avoid those malls out of sheer annoyance. What are you most thankful for? It’s gonna sound so privileged but at this point I’m grateful I have a roof under my head, parents who can afford to feed us as many times in a day as we’d like, and a comfortable home. You have to understand how my country is very behind in terms of living conditions, so anyone living in a legit house who can eat 2-3 times a day and doesn’t even think about receiving relief goods is already insanely lucky. Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? Not really. I do have a favorite radio show but they still play music in between. What was the last book you read? Fast Food Nation - had to read it for a class. What's your favorite online store? I think I’ve gotten most of my purchases from Lazada. What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? Paramore. What's your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Depends. I’m ok with water most days but when I wanna treat myself I go for a crazy sweet milkshake. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? Cool! There are plenty hidden gems in those. What do you like to put gravy on? Rustic fried chicken. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Yeah, we canoed in Palawan. It was one of the most calming experiences ever and I’m really itching to do it again.

What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? Right now it’s how great I look with bangs hahahahaha. I can’t believe I didn’t get these sooner. What is priceless to you? My 12 year old dog relearning how to go down the stairs. What do you wait for discount sales to buy? I don’t really pay attention to discounts. What is one thing you know about your family history you're proud of? How inclined most of my ancestors were towards history. The phrase “runs in the blood” has never felt truer.

What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? Pool by Paramore, From Eden by Hozier, and I Saw You In A Dream by The Japanese House. What is the craziest thing you've ever done for someone? Drive through punishing Metro Manila traffic to surprise my girlfriend for all of five minutes, then head to school for my class. Do you keep a budget? Nah. With my weekly allowance I just try to save as much as I can every week. If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? Nothing evil. I just want my girlfriend to be appear beside me because I haven’t seen her in a month now. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? A nap? Because isn’t that what naps do? Lmao What is the funniest joke you have ever heard about? I’ve encountered funny ones but I can’t seem to think of any right now. Who depends on you the most? Idk, my parents probably. Could you ever be someone's bodyguard? Nah. Has one of your biggest fears come true? I don’t really have a fear that’s a scenario, so no. Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don't understand? Why they get so fragile when someone criticizes what’s wrong with some men. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? I haven’t let Gabie do it for me but I’ve always considered the idea just in case something I’m involved with blows up too much. Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? Nah, it’s so unrealistic. If so, what were two things you wanted? Have you ever ridden on a subway or train and what did you like about it? I’ve ridden a train once. And it wasn’t even during rush hour so I didn’t get the authentic experience haha. It was cold in the train, not a lot of people in it, and I felt like a tourist the whole time. What song on your playlist gets played the most? I have multiple playlists and each have their most-played songs. Have you ever received a harsher punishment than you deserved? Hate punishments and always try to do the right thing to avoid them, so I can’t remember the last time I actually got punished. Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? Lmaoooo the usage of ‘members’ here is hilarious, like being a woman is being part of an organization sksk. I don’t mind what they’re into, as long as it’s not disturbing. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? That’s what I prefer, personally. Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? Yeah my great-grandfather was a World War II general. What embarrasses you instantly? Slipping, falling, or tripping. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? It’s what I wanted to be growing up but nah I’m not fit for it. You have to have incredible strength to be a firefighter and I can barely lift anything heavy. I also have a low tolerance for pain/discomfort, so there’s that. Oh and the fact that I’m afraid of FIRE. Do you often read your horoscope? I never read about my horoscope. What current event are you tired of hearing about? I’m tired of our president calling for a stupid state of the nation address almost every fucking night at 10 PM that’s always filled with empty words and absolutely no concrete plans to address the virus. I can’t stress this enough - Y’ALL ARE INSANELY!!! LUCKY!!! WITH YOUR GOVERNMENTS!!!!!!!!! Are you a daredevil? Far from it. I prefer being a goody two shoes. What common pitfalls do you find yourself dealing with in your work life? Don’t have work yet. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Yes for historical. I’ve already listed them down and what they did in old surveys; I don’t really wanna get into it again right now. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? Yep. For best friends, close friends, and friends in desperate cases. How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? I think about how far I’ve come or how I’ve never failed anything I’ve had to face or come across. Have you ever fired a gun? Never. I really want to though! I’d love to go to a shooting range after the shitstorm that is this quarantine. How are you different from most people? I dunno. But don’t we have our own ways of being different? What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Apologizing to your kids if you’re the one who’s wrong. What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? Cockroaches, even though I think they’re pieces of shit and are ugly. Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? No, I wouldn’t dare. I get very cranky when I lack sleep, so I don’t wanna test my limits by going 24 hours without it. Who is a female role model in your life? Don’t really believe in role models but the closest thing I have as an inspiration is AJ Lee/April Mendez. What childhood dreams have you neglected? This sounds so tragic lmao but there are a couple I’ve had to come to terms with that they’re just not realistic, like being an astronaut or a vet. How often do you reevaluate your life? Not a lot; I don’t really focus on that because it would only make me anxious. What's your favorite place just to hang out? Skywalk, my org’s common area. What gives you a zest for life? Idk, good news? What three things do you think of most of each day? What I have to do for the day, making sure all the bullets in my to-do list are met, going home to my dog at the end of the day. Would you travel to space if possible? For sure. Name a famous person you wouldn't mind for a business partner. Jay-Z.

#survey #surveys

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lovemesomesurveys · 5 years

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What was the brand of your first ever cell phone? Motorola. What are your 3 favorite internet sites? Tumblr, YouTube, Twitter. Do you have a favorite pair of blue jeans? Describe them. I like all my jeans, which are all dark wash skinny jeans. Let’s be real, though: I haven’t worn jeans in over a year. I only wear leggings. What profession do you respect? I respect many professions. Have you ever been the recipient of a practical joke? Nah.

Have you ever ate something you’ve dropped on the floor, if so what? I probably did as a kid, but I quickly grew out of the whole “5 second rule” thing. Would you consider being an Uber driver if you needed to make extra money? Not sure how that would work since I don’t drive. How do you know when you’re in love, what’s the main sign? I just know. Have you ever gotten anything autographed, if so by who & what was it? Yes. Do you prefer Walmart or Target? I like both, but I can find a lot of cute stuff at Target. What do you long for? “I want something else, to get me through this semi-charmed kind of life, baby.” That lyric just popped into my head for this. Anyway, I long for a life I’m excited about living. If you could be a personal assistant to anyone, who would it be? I don’t want to. What is the most important thing you can do to improve yourself? Better self-care would help. I’ve neglected myself in a lot of ways. My mental health definitely needs help, it has suffered greatly. What makes it hard for you to keep your focus? My jumbled mess of a mind. What tragic love story do you relate to? Blah. Has your intuition or “gut” served you well? Sometimes. What’s the longest you’ve ever waited in line for something and what was it? Rides at Disneyland. I think once we waited like 3 hours for this one ride, which took so long because it broke down and had to be repaired. And it was just a long line in general. Who is your favorite model? Like fashion model? I don’t have one. What have you done that is out of character for you? Hmm. Would you rather get a gift card or a gift that someone bought for you? I appreciate either one. How do you handle a betrayal? I don’t know, but it sucks. What’s the biggest blooper you’ve never lived down? My life. If you owned a restaurant what kind of food do you want to serve? I wouldn’t own a restaurant. What will we find if we look in the bottom of your closet today? Shoes and other stuff. What kind of car did you learn how to drive on? I haven’t learned how to drive. What is the best thing you have done just because you were told you can’t? I don’t knowwww. Have you ever had to go to court or testify and if so what for? No. Do you believe in karma? No. Are you more worried about doing the things right, or doing the right thing? Both. Do you believe in the term “Mother knows best?” I mean, I definitely value my mom’s opinions. It doesn’t mean we always agree. Who is your favorite movie action hero? Iron Man/Tony Stark. What is one thing you can get in your hometown you can’t get elsewhere? My town isn’t special. How important are looks in someone you’re in a relationship with? I can’t say looks don’t matter at all, but they’re not the most important. Personality means a lot more, and it can also add to someone’s attractiveness. What freedom do you feel is not really free anymore? I can’t think for this survey right now. What are you most thankful for? My family. Do you have any favorite talk shows or talk radio programs without music? Dr. Phil and Daily Pop. What was the last book you read? Burying the Honeysuckle Girls by Emily Carpenter. What’s your favorite online store? Exclusively online: Amazon. However, I shop a lot on Hot Topic, Boxlunch, and Kohl’s websites. What band would you love to tour with or be a roadie for? None. I’m not a musical artist or in a band, and I don’t want to be a roadie. If you were to throw a message in a bottle into the ocean, it would say? Hi. Do you have common sense or do you think people are lacking in it? Sometimes it doesn’t seem like it’s so common. What’s your favorite non-alcoholic drink? Coffee. How do you feel about thrift shops or flea markets? Not my thing. What do you like to put gravy on? I love country gravy on eggs, biscuits, and hash browns and turkey or pork gravy on turkey, ham, and mashed potatoes. Have you ever gone canoeing/kayaking? Nope. What one thing in particular makes you feel good about yourself? :/ What is priceless to you? Spending time with my family. What do you wait for discount sales to buy? I always look for sales on things whenever I can. What is one thing you know about your family history you’re proud of? Hmm. What 3 songs will always be found at the top of your playlist? I don’t think there’s 3 particular songs that would always be there. What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done for someone? It must be too late or something cause I really can’t think of an answer for a lot of these. Do you keep a budget? I just make sure my bills are paid first at the 1st of the month and then use the rest as I please, but try and keep around a certain amount in my bank each month. If you could cast a spell on someone what spell would you cast and on who? I wouldn’t. What makes you feel rested and refreshed? A day at the beach. It’s the only time I can actually relax for a bit while there. What is the funniest joke you have ever heard about? Who depends on you the most? I don’t know if anyone really depends on me. I’m the depender. Could you ever be someone’s bodyguard? Ha, no. Has one of your biggest fears come true? Yes. Is there anything about the opposite sex you just don’t understand? There’s a lot I don’t understand about people in general. Have you ever let your mom or significant other fight a battle for you? My mom. Did you create a checklist for your ideal spouse? Only when asked in surveys. If so, what were two things you wanted? Patience and understanding. Have you ever ridden on a subway or train an what did you like about it? I haven’t. What song on your playlist gets played the most? Spotify doesn’t tell me that. Do you prefer sporty or academic members of the opposite sex? If we vibe, we vibe. Do you have to experience something to fully understand it? I mean, I think so. Has anyone in your family ever served in the military? Yeah. Finish the next line in your style: Roses are red, violets are blue… I’m tired, how ‘bout you? What embarrasses you instantly? If I spittle while talking or food or drink falls out my mouth while talking. Do you think you could be a firefighter, why/why not? No. I’m a paraplegic for one thing, so that’d make things kind of difficult. Do you often read your horoscope? I don’t at all. I don’t believe in that stuff. I never really did, it was more just for fun, but now I don’t even bother. What current event are you tired of hearing about? Trump. Are you a daredevil? HA. What common pitfalls do you find yourself dealing with in your work life? I don’t have a job. Describe your “poker face”. No expression? Isn’t that what it is in general, not just to me specifically? What do you think should be censored? I don’t see the issue of having curse words and nudity censored for children. Are you related to anyone famous or historical, if so who? Not that I know of. Would you ever donate a kidney to anyone, and who? I couldn’t. How do you encourage yourself when you go through hard times? I don’t encourage myself, I wallow. Have you ever fired a gun? Yes. I went to a shooting range with friends once. Do you think people, including yourself live up to their full potential? Maybe this is my full potential. Maybe this is all I got to give. How are you different from most people? I don’t know. What is the main quality you think makes a great parent? Love? What creature do you admire for its ability to adapt? Uhhh. How do you feel about GMOs? >> I think the whole process is interesting, and I think there are clear benefits to genetic modification, and I think there are clear detriments to genetic modification, and that’s just how it goes. <<< Have you ever stayed up for an entire 24 hours, why? Yes. No good reason, just happened. Who is a female role model in your life? My mom. What childhood dreams have you neglected? All of them? I know child me didn’t dream of a life like this. How often do you reevaluate your life? I need to really do that and start taking steps in the right direction, but I just haven’t been able to for some reason. What’s your favorite place just to hang out? My room. What gives you a zest for life? I’m not feelin’ very zesty. What do you have trouble seeing clearly in your mind? A future where I have better health and a relationship. I can’t see those things at all. What three things do you think of most of each day? A lot of things. My mind is a mess and it’s always racing. Would you travel to space if possible? No. Just the thought terrifies me. Name a famous person you wouldn’t mind for a business partner. I’m not a business person, nor do I desire to be, so I have no need for a business partner.

#personal #text #survey #surveys

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