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imaginespazzi · 7 months

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Part 1: Don't Be A Stranger

Masterlist - Part 2 - Part 3 - Part 4 - Part 5 - Part 6 - Part 7

But if (my) world was ending, you'd come over right?

(In which UCLA anon's roman empire became this writer's roman empire and we've finally reached the beginning)

Pairing: Paige Bueckers X Azzi Fudd

Themes: Angst, Pining, Hurt/Comfort and a little bit of Fluff

Words: 8.4 K (other parts will be shorter....maybe)

TW: Swearing, Alcohol, Injuries, Alludes to Sexual Content

A/N: Hello my lovelies <3 Gonna keep this as short and sweet as possible but we've finally, finally gotten to the UCLA fic. A huge shout out to UCLA anon, because this is their master idea. Couple of things, I've never been to LA or UCLA and therefore some things are out of whack. The timeline is also a little out of whack but I swear I will try to keep it as consistent as possible. In the mean time, just ignore some of the inconsistencies pretty please. As always, feel free to let me know what's bad, what's good and what else you'd like to see. I hope y'all enjoy this first part and let's get another W today!

August 2021

where are you

i literally have to be at the airport in an hour paige where are you

dude

are you on your way?

you better be driving and that’s why you’re not answering

PAIGE

i’m sorry about last night i shouldn’t have said that

but you said a lot of shit too so call it even?

this isn’t funny where are you?

i have to leave in 15 mins

are you actually not coming?

wtf????

this is actually bullshit

get over yourself bueckers

wow

fuck you

just landed

thought you might like to know

sorry my plane didn’t crash i guess

September 2021

dude enough okay

can you just call me back??

i just wanna talk

i know you're mad i get it but i miss you

November 2021

hi i’mma be in dc over christmas

nvm

idk why i’m trying again

maybe i should block you

this is kinda pathetic of me what the fuck

December 2021

i thought i saw you today but idk

couldn’t have been you cause if it was

would you really not even say hi?

i’m done trying paige

merry christmas i guess

March 2022

i misz you

lyke a wot

love uuuuu pppppp

even if ur a bwtich

pkese pick up

ignore that

people drunk text exes apparently i drunk text you

wait

i don’t need to tell you that

you already ignore it all anyways

August 2022

i heard about the acl

i’m sorry

idk if it means anything, but if you wanna talk

nvm

***

September 2022

When the doorbell rings, on a quiet Thursday afternoon during a rare moment of alone time, Paige expects it to be a lot of people. One of her parents deciding that they actually weren’t going to leave her alone. Someone else in her family showing up out of the blue to provide comfort. Maybe one of her teammates popping up to keep her entertained. She even thinks it might be some random fan who got too invested and figured out the address for her air BnB. It’s the saddest testament to how broken they are, that the idea of it being Azzi Fudd standing outside her door, never once crosses her mind. But there she is, when Paige opens the door, dressed in ripped jean shorts and a light blue tank top, the girl that had been her best friend, and maybe a little bit more.

Silence stretches between them as Azzi fidgets with her hands and Paige continues to stoically stare at her. It’s been almost a year since they’ve seen each other, even longer since they’d last shared a happy smile. And you’d have to go back to before she’d told her about her future plans, to find the last time Azzi had properly looked Paige in the eyes.

“Hi,” Azzi says finally, mustering up a small smile. Paige doesn’t know if hearing that voice, soft and subdued but still so familiar, fixes a crack or breaks her heart even further. She wills herself to be polite in response, to match Azzi’s polite greeting with a greeting of her own. But there’s clear discord between her mouth and her head, because her words are harsh and hollowed.

“What are you doing here?”

Azzi swallows, smile disappearing as she immediately digs her fingernails into her palms and Paige feels the guilt settle into her stomach. It’s like the night before all over again. If she closes her eyes, Paige can still hear her voice loudly echoing in Azzi’s childhood bedroom. She can hear the angry words that she’d hurled at her best friend, each one like a well-aimed arrow piercing the other’s girl's heart and tearing into Paige’s own soul. Some would call what she’d done self-preservation. She’d call it her biggest mistake.

“I um-,” Azzi sucks in her bottom lip, “I was in the area and thought, maybe I’d check in.”

“How did you even know where I was?” Paige hates how cold and accusatory her voice sounds. It’s a version of herself she doesn’t quite know how to deal with, one that hasn’t ever appeared for anyone other than the girl in front of her, “I know I didn’t tell you.”

Any semblance of calm is gone from Azzi’s face, as she seems to realise that she’s not going to be getting any cordiality from her old friend.

“And we’re off to a great start,” she mutters under her breath before replying to Paige’s exact question, “no you didn’t. Your dad-”

“You talked to my dad?”

“Yeah. I mean you know Drew looks up to Jon and José so much and they still talk and stuff and he came over- Drew I mean- and then your dad was there and we just got to talking and you came up and yeah. He told me and well I live here, kinda, so I thought- well I thought maybe you’d like some company?”

As Azzi’s rambling explanation comes to an end, Paige doesn’t miss the tinge of hopefulness in her voice at the last bit. The younger girl shuffles her feet, as she stares at the blonde expectantly.

“I don’t-” Paige struggles to draw in a breath as the voices in her head argue, “I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

Her words are met with silence as Azzi stares at her blankly.

“I- you,” she blinks rapidly, clearly at a loss for what to say at the blatant rejection, “I can’t come in?”

“It’s just- I’ve had a lot of people visit you know,” Paige bullshits, suddenly feeling very exhausted, “and my family were here a couple days and my friends are coming soon and-”

“And I’m neither of those things,” Azzi says, her tone low and breathy.

“That’s not what-”

“It is,” Azzi closes her eyes for a brief second, when she opens them, the flash of hurt in them feels like a dagger through Paige’s chest, “it is like that and it is what you meant and it’s- it’s fine.”

“Az-” Paige chokes out, feeling her lungs collapse when the other girl moves to leave, “please,” and she’s not even sure she’s asking for, but it’s not this. It’s never been this.

Azzi stops and when she turns back around, there’s a determined look on her face.

“I just-” she rubs her face, composing herself before focusing her eyes on Paige, “you’re the strongest person I know. And you’re going to come back from this, better than ever. I know it. The whole world knows it. Because you’re Paige Bueckers. You’re something else. You’re the hardest worker, you’re just- you’re the best.”

“You don’t-”

“Just- just let me finish okay and then, then I’ll go or whatever but Paige, you’re all of those things you know? Strong, brave, the best fucking player- but, it’s also okay if sometimes-, if sometimes you aren’t. It’s okay because this- this is hard, I know it is. So if sometimes you’re not strong or-, or brave- or not feeling like working hard- it’s okay. And if there are moments where you- where you want to give up, that’s okay too. It doesn’t make you- it doesn’t make you any less than what you are. It just makes you human, and it’s okay you know- to be human. It’s okay if- if you hurt and it’s okay if you’re not okay. It’s- it’s okay.”

The two girls stare at each other, eyes shining with tears, as Paige let’s Azzi’s words wash over her. She’s been told a lot of platitudes about her injury, from her coaches to her teammates to her family. And she knows she has plenty of people in her corner, who root for her and who genuinely do believe she’ll have the greatest comeback ever. But the motivational speeches get draining after a while and all she’s wanted to do for the last couple of weeks is wallow. Then she felt guilty about wallowing, that little voice in her head yelling at her to be productive and work on getting back to herself because that’s what everybody expected. Paige hadn’t even realised how badly she needed someone to give her permission to not be okay, not until the only person who’d ever known that part of her, had finally said the words she so desperately needed to hear.

The thing is, when she was younger, Paige used to keep everything bottled inside. She’d always been hyper aware of her privilege and her problems had always just seemed so insignificant in front of her parents’ or her friends. So she’d kept them to herself, trapping herself in a web of her own burdens that sometimes threatened to strangle her. And then she’d met a girl at a USA basketball camp when she was 15, a girl who had gently flicked her fingers and Paige’s walls had fallen like dominoes. She hadn’t even known she was drowning, until Azzi had shown up with a lifeboat.

“I just-,” Azzi breaks Paige out of her trance by breaking the eye contact between them, “I didn’t know if anybody had said that to you yet and I just- I wanted you to hear it.”

In the span of a minute, a thousand and one phrases take birth in Paige’s mind and then die on the tip of her tongue. She opens and closes her mouth, trying to express even one of the myriad of emotions that are swirling like a tornado in her brain. But nothing comes out except a litany of incomprehensible noises. And Azzi seems to find the wrong answer in the silence, giving the blonde a timid nod.

“Take care of yourself P,” her voice catches on the familiar nickname, as she shoots Paige a sad smile, before beginning to walk away. When Azzi chose UCLA, she’d lit Paige's heart on fire. So, Paige had drowned their friendship. And while all this time Azzi has struggled to breathe, Paige has burned but god, is she so fucking tired of it.

“Fuck, Azzi wait,” Paige curses, hobbling to catch up to the brunette, who stops with a sigh but doesn’t make a move to return. Stubborn as always, Paige thinks, continuing her way over. When she does catch up, she’s not fully sure what to say and so, “I uh- I’m out of milk.”

Azzi raises her eyebrows in question, crossing her arms protectively around her chest.

“I can’t drive,” Paige explains slowly, “or walk obviously.”

Realisation dawns on Azzi’s face, “you’re asking me to drive you to the grocery store?”

“I guess,” Paige shrugs, trying to be nonchalant.

“Seems like the kind of favour someone asks of their family, or their friends,” Azzi emphasises bitterly, never one to let go of an opportunity for sarcasm.

Paige flinches, “right, I kinda deserved that one.”

She gets a raised eyebrow in response that very much says “ya think?”

“I’m trying here,” she says quietly, and Azzi’s hard demeanour softens, “I’m raising a white flag Az, calling a truce or whatever but it kinda needs to go both ways.”

“What do you think me coming here was supposed to be?” the younger girl says exasperatedly, but she’s smiling again. It’s the third one Paige has gotten out of her today, and finally, she smiles back. They look a little foolish, standing in the apartment hallway, cheshire-cat-grinning at each other like idiots, but it feels like something has clicked into place again.

“I’ll go grab my wallet, you go heat up the car.”

“It’s like 110 degrees dude.”

“Bro shut up, you know what I mean,” Paige huffs and when it makes Azzi laugh, she feels like she’s floating. It’s not as if she hasn’t been happy in a year because won’t you look at that, her world did keep turning after that one decision. But this is different. She feels airy and light, like she could jump off a cliff and fly instead of fall.

“Well hurry up, I have things to do outside of just being your chauffeur.”

“Poor passenger princess, how the roles have reversed,” Paige mocks and it earns her an ever so familiar fond eye roll and for the first time in a year, she feels free.

***

When she gets downstairs, Azzi’s leaning against her car door, a pair of sunglasses shielding her eyes. The hot California sun shines brightly against her tan skin, and Paige’s heart stutters because fuck, Azzi is golden. She looks every bit reminiscent of the girl Paige still has memorised and yet, every bit the promise of a girl Paige wants to learn by heart.

“Nice car,” Paige smirks, alerting the younger girl of her presence.

“It does the job,” Azzi says, looking up with a smile of her own, opening the passenger door for Paige to get in, “not all of us are raking in NIL deals to get the big guns, but we make do.”

“Steph Curry brand ambassador say what now?” the blonde girl teases as she slides into the car. When she looks up, Azzi’s frozen in place, “what?”

“Nothing I just-” she’s wearing sunglasses, but Paige knows Azzi's trying to avert her gaze, “I’m kinda surprised you know that.”

It’s Paige’s turn to look away, their newfound comfort giving away to that old awkwardness, “I keep up with most basketball news.”

To Azzi’s credit she doesn’t push. Instead, she makes her way into the driver seat without another sound. She’s about to connect her phone to the aux but Paige beats her to it.

“Hey,” Azzi squeals, making grabby hands, “my car, my rules, my music.”

“Nuh-uh injury privileges,” Paige gloats, sticking out her tongue.

“That’s not a thing.”

“Is too.”

“Fine, we’ll listen to your crap music.”

“I resent that,” Paige retorts, as Drake blasts through the speakers. The sound of it makes Azzi groan, and she dramatically bangs her head against the steering wheel. Paige spends the rest of the car ride singing at the top of her lungs. Azzi spends the rest of the car ride alternating between shaking her head and joining in with the singing. It’s like they’re back in 2020 all over again, back before they found themselves in the whirlwind of life, back when they were just Paige and Azzi.

***

Their trip inside the grocery store takes less time than the ride to get there, even if Paige takes her time dilly-dallying in the dairy section, pretending she’s going to get anything other than just regular milk. She’s overly conscious of the fact that their time together might be coming to an end, that this time she might actually have to deal with saying goodbye. But she’s not ready to go back to missing Azzi just yet.

“Maybe you can show me your dorm,” she says quietly, once they're both back in the car, playing with the hem of her shirt. Beside her, Azzi draws in a sharp intake of breath, clearly not having expected Paige to want that of all things. In all honesty, the idea of stepping into the world that had stolen Azzi from her is not all that appealing to Paige but she wants to hold onto this moment just a little bit longer.

“You wanna see my dorm?”

“A chance to see how the non-blue blood peasants live? I’d never pass it up.”

“Non blue blood,” Azzi scoffs, "Ever heard of John Wooden?”

“I was talking about women’s basketball but yeah I have heard of him. I won the award last year. Over you,” Paige smirks, wiggling her eyebrows.

“Not everyone’s a phenom their freshman year,” Azzi retorts fondly, unable to mask the hint of pride in her voice.

“Well we’ll see this year-” Paige stops herself, cold seeping into her lungs, as she remembers why she’s in the stupid state of California in the first place. The lighthearted mood in the car goes tumbling out the window as her words hang like a dagger in the air.

“Paige,” Azzi whispers, trying to wrap that one syllable in comfort. She reaches out to touch the blonde’s shoulder but must think better of it because her hand hovers mid-air for a second, before she pulls it back. Paige is suddenly hyper aware of the fact they haven’t touched yet. It’s a reminder of the fact that whatever progress they’ve made today, there’s still so much they haven’t even begun to unpack.

“It’s fine,” Paige’s voice is steely, “just drive.”

Azzi opens and closes her mouth a couple of times, before simply nodding and starting the ignition. She’s clearly holding back and Paige doesn’t know how to feel about it. There’s a part of her that wants Azzi to push her to talk like she would before, but there's another part of her that knows this new rope they’re trying to string between them is fragile.

They ride in silence to Azzi’s apartment, both of them too caught up in their own thoughts to bother with music this time. As the UCLA campus nears, Paige can’t help but hate it just a little bit. She’s aware she’s being petty. Acting like Storrs, Connecticut is some hub of beauty is probably a stretch of the imagination for anyone but she’s determined to dislike this place out of principle.

“Hmm not too shabby but like where’s the fucking cows?” Paige jokes, as the car comes to a stop in front of Azzi’s apartment building. She steps out gingerly, pretending to inspect her surroundings, making tsk-tsk noises at the most random things.

“I’ve seen your apartment Bueckers, don’t even try,” Azzi retorts.

It shouldn’t surprise Paige to see one of Azzi’s teammates when they enter her living room. It’s just like UConn really in the sense that there’s always someone there when you walk in but something about seeing Charisma Osborne just chilling in Azzi’s space suddenly makes it more real that the younger girl is definitely a UCLA Bruin.

“Oh,” Charisma gives Paige a once-over, clearly not having expected to see her, “hi Paige.”

Paige waves, shuffling her weight on her crutches, unsure what to say. It’s not like she doesn’t know Charisma, they’ve literally won a gold medal together for USA basketball. She’s even met the girl a couple of times after and she likes her, she does. But her bitter brain is focused on the fact that this is one of those girls who had gotten Azzi as their teammate, one of the girls who got to see Azzi everyday. All things Paige had not gotten.

“You didn’t tell me you were bringing company Az,” Charisma says pointedly, looking at Azzi and Paige bristles at the use of the nickname. She’s being all sorts of ridiculous but at least she’s self-aware of it.

“Last minute decisions,” Azzi replies airily. The two girls lock eyes and Paige can tell they’re having some sort of unspoken conversation and now the green-eyed envy monster is out in full force.

“I insisted on seeing her dorm,” she says finally, breaking into whatever staring competition the two UCLA guards are having.

“It’s not a problem,” Charisma reassures, standing up from her position on the couch, and coming over to give Paige a tentative hug, “I just didn’t know you were coming. But it’s good to see you, Paige.”

“Yeah,” Paige tries to muster up a proper smile as she leans in to return the hug but it comes out more like a grimace, “you too.”

“We’re gonna go chill in my room,” Azzi says, beckoning to one of the doors in the hallways and Paige obediently follows her, waving a half-hearted goodbye to Charisma. She’s secretly pleased to have Azzi back to herself.

The room is nothing out of the ordinary except it has Azzi all over it. She’s in the pink comforter that is thrown haphazardly over a clearly not made bed. She’s in the unicorn plushies laid delicately over a dark blue couch. She’s in the little flower stickers that outline the mirror on the far side of the room. There’s a wall dedicated solely to pictures and fairy lights on one side and Paige is immediately drawn to it. A familiar ache reverberates in her chest as her eyes flicker over the pictures of Azzi’s family. She’s missed them. Then there’s the photographs of Azzi in her UCLA uniform, her teammates surrounding her and Paige has to resist the dangerous urge to rip those off the wall. Be happy for her happiness, the logical part of her brain yells, not seeming to realise she’d left any chance of that in the dirt a year ago. As she tears her eyes away from those offending pictures, they land instead on a whole other set of photographs and she feels her heart catch in her throat.

It’s a set of three images of her and Azzi, taken at various moments. Paige brushes her thumb against the one of the two of them with their arms around each other at the Minnesota state fair. Azzi’s beaming at the camera and Paige is beaming at Azzi. They look so young, so naive, so happy.

“I’m on your wall,” Paige breathes out, turning to face her best friend, “Fuck, I’m on you wall.”

“Of course you are,” Azzi affirms, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world but she shuffles nervously, giving away the reality behind her stable demeanour.

“I never answered your texts. I didn’t call you back,” Paige lists quietly as the first tear falls from her eyes; she’s been holding them back all day, “and I’m on your fucking wall.”

Azzi looks away, unsure how to deal with the fact that apparently they’re no longer tip-toeing around the past. She doesn’t know how to tell the blonde that there had never really been a second thought about whether or not those photos were going up on the wall.

“Doesn’t matter,” she shrugs finally, “you’re my best friend. You’re always gonna be my best friend. Ride or die right?”

“Ride or die,” Paige repeats in a whisper before she all but throws herself at Azzi, practically moulding herself into the younger girl’s body. Caught off guard, Azzi stiffens for a second, before relaxing into it. It’s late outside and the sun has set, but in this moment, the world shines the brightest it has in a year as two stubborn girls finally find their way home to each other.

***

That night, Azzi asks her tentatively if she wants to stay over and of course Paige agrees. Lying awake next to a familiar stranger, she lets herself finally remember the day things had first started unravelling.

November 2020

“You’ll probably get one of the upstairs apartments, so we probably won’t actually be living together which is good because can you imagine if I had to see your goofy ass 24/7?” Paige puts a dramatic hand to her forehead, as she leads Azzi into her room.

She’s too caught up in her excitement having Azzi at UConn, and planning what’ll happen next year, to notice that the girl in question isn’t participating at all in her enthusiasm. Paige has been waiting for what feels like a year (in reality it’s only been a few months) to finally have her best friend come visit. The minute the car had pulled up, she’d taken it upon herself to start her sales pitch all over again, missing the sympathetic smiles she’d gotten from the rest of the Fudd family as she pulled Azzi away to show her the glories of the campus.

“Did you see my assist to Christyn today?” Paige gloats, falling onto her bed with a smirk.

“It was pretty great,” Azzi concedes.

“It was fucking perfect thank you very much. I set her up perfectly, exactly how she likes it.”

“Right.”

“And then did you see how excited the team was for her? For everyone? Never gonna find a greater group of girls.”

“They seem wonderful P.”

Paige furrows her eyebrows as she catches Azzi still lingering by the door instead of joining her on the bed. The brunette fidgets with the sleeve of her sweater, chewing on her lips.

“Are you allergic to my bed?” Paige waits for some smartass response. When she doesn’t get one, she frowns, instincts going haywire, “Az, you good?”

“I- '' Azzi looks away, swallowing nervously, “I need to tell you something and I- I’m not sure how you’re gonna react.”

“You get a boyfriend or a girlfriend or something in the last few months that I don’t know about?” She says it light-heartedly enough, but the thought of it sends a sharp sting through Paige’s heart. In hindsight, she thinks maybe she could have dealt with it having been that.

“What? No. Just- just don’t- dont take it personally okay. Like you can be upset about it but- but don’t hold it against me yeah? My parents- they said- they said you’d get it. You’d be upset but you’d- you’d get it because you- you get me right?”

Paige’s chest hammers as she watches the younger girl draw in a deep breath, “you’re scaring the shit out of me right now.”

“I’mcommittingtoUCLA” Azzi says all in one breath, the words blending together.

She’s sure she’s heard it wrong. There’s no way. After all this time, after all their conversations, all the pitches, how hard she had worked, there was no way this was going to be the end to all of Paige’s efforts.

“What?” she whispers, crossing her fingers that she has in fact misheard.

When Azzi averts her eyes, she knows she hasn’t, “I’m committing to UCLA.”

The first time Paige and Azzi met was somewhat awkward, what with Azzi’s shyness and Paige being slightly overeager to make a new friend. When they’d become bus buddies, they’d progressed to being casual acquaintances who could small talk and share smiles. And then the flight back to Minnesota happened and everything had changed. Every moment after was filled with conversation or laughs or a comfortable silence. Until this one, where the sudden silence between them foreshadows an ominous future.

“Say something,” Azzi says finally, her voice shaking.

Paige stares at her for a second before, “you named your dog Stewie.”

“What?”

“You named your dog Stewie. After Breanna Stewart who played at UConn. It’s not-” Paige wracks her brain, hands flying animatedly “it’s not Meyers or something, after someone who played at fucking UCLA. You named your dog after a UConn great. How are you going to take him to UCLA with you?”

Azzi stares at her, clearly not having expected that level of questioning of all things. Who could blame her when Paige herself feels a little insane.

“This is a joke right? You’re fucking with me? Ha ha ha very funny,” she claps deliriously, “hilarious prank seriously, like hats off you’ve outdone yourself but enough okay? Say sike right fucking now.”

Azzi makes a strangled noise, “it’s not a joke Paige. That’s- that’s my decision.”

“Then change it,” Paige yells, catapulting off the bed.

“Paige-”

“Have you told UCLA yet?”

“I wanted to tell my family and you first.”

“Oh wow, how kind of you. How fucking generous of you to do that Azzi,” Paige bites back sarcastically and Azzi flinches.

In a flash, Paige’s expression goes from angry to desperate, “you still have time to change your mind . Please just- just think about it again okay? You still have so much time and you know what, stay here for a couple more days. Spend time with the team, with the coaches, with me and you’ll see-. UCLA just sounds nice you know? California, the sun, I get it, of course it’s tempting. But just- just stay here okay? And you’ll see this is where you belong,” she leaves the, with me, unsaid.

“Paige,” Azzi’s voice cracks. She takes a step toward her and then pauses. It’s the first time in a long time that Azzi’s hesitated when it comes to Paige. It won’t be the last. And when she looks at Paige through her long eyelashes, tears threatening to fall from her dark brown eyes, Paige knows she’s lost.

“No,” she’s pacing now, chest heaving up and down in a combination of frustration, anger and misery, “this is not fucking happening. We’re not doing this. I made you a whole recruitment video. Did you watch it? Do you know how long it took me to make it? Has the last year been a fucking joke to you?”

“Of course not-”

“Don’t even. Because clearly- clearly it has. Must’ve been hilarious watching me beg and plead with you when you already fucking knew you were going to committ somewhere else.”

“That’s not fair,” Azzi’s voice rises at the accusation, “I had no idea where I was going until a couple of weeks ago. You can’t seriously think that low of me.”

“Not fair? You know what’s not fair, Azzi? We’ve been talking about playing together, about finally being on the same team, the same fucking state, for years. What’s not fair is you throwing all of that away on a whim.”

“I’m not committing to UCLA on a whim. This is my whole future we’re talking about. You don’t even know how much thought I’ve put into it. And I’m choosing what’s best for me. You can’t hold that against me Paige. You can’t.”

They stand on opposite sides of the room, taking in harsh staggered breaths and glaring at each other. The tension in the room is electric as the string connecting them frays. Paige and Azzi bicker, they don’t argue. Or at least, that’s how it used to be.

“Az?” their stare down is broken by a knock on the door as Katie Fudd lets herself in. Immediately, as she stares between her daughter and the girl who’d become just as important, Katie knows what has happened, “we’re going back to the air BnB, are you staying here?”

The answer should be obvious, like it used to be. Of course she would stay here. It was meant to be a no-brainer. But before Azzi can say that, Paige intervenes and the string snaps.

“She’s going with you,” the blonde says firmly, before turning her back. She won’t let Azzi see the tears, she won’t. For her part, the brunette stares at Paige’s back silently for a couple of seconds, before a mask of determination slips on.

“Fine. If that’s what you fucking want,” Azzi sneers before brushing past her mom, eager to get away and hide her own tears.

When Paige turns back around, Katie is already looking at her. The older woman walks the length of the room and pulls the younger girl into a hug that she readily melts into. Paige sniffles as Azzi’s mom soothingly rubs her back.

“We’re driving back tomorrow morning,” Katie whispers quietly into Paige’s hair, “I know you’re mad sweetheart but come say goodbye okay?”

And she does. She shows up with only half an hour or so remaining before Azzi leaves, but Paige shows up. They hug stiffly, exchanging maybe a sentence or two but in that moment it’s enough. They’ll call later when Azzi gets home and it’ll be awkward for a little bit but they’ll break through. They’ll figure out a way to go on without having to talk about the “big thing”. They’ll hold on as long as they can, until they can’t anymore.

***

September 2022

After the night Paige stays over at Azzi’s apartment, they're attached at the hip for the next few weeks, just like old times. They’ve fallen into a routine of sorts. Azzi shows up without fail every day after practice to pick Paige up from her rehab, and then the rest of the younger girl’s time is Paige’s. The first time she’d seen the brunette leaning casually against her car, Paige had had to stop herself from jumping into her arms. She’d played it as nonchalant as possible, joking about Azzi being stalker, but inside, she could feel it again, the dangerously familiar tap of this is all I’ll ever need.

On days Paige doesn’t have rehab, Azzi still shows up right on time on her doorstep with a board game or food or something. It’s gotten to the point where every time the doorbell rings, Paige opens it expecting Azzi. The couple times it’s not, she tries and fails to hide the disappointment on her face. It earns her an eye roll from the delivery guy but it’s worth it for the laugh it elicits from Azzi when she tells her the story. They fall back together as if they’d never fallen apart. And what’s more terrifying than finding out that she’d never truly gotten over old Azzi, is realising how easy it would be to fall in love with new Azzi.

When Caroline, Nika and Piath come to visit the weekend after, all three of them can immediately tell that something's changed. Their teammate seems lighter, as if she’s finally found a sense of calm. But their incessant prodding and raised eyebrows are only met with shrugs from a tight-lipped Paige. It isn’t until Azzi calls, and Nika snatches the phone out of Paige’s hands, gasping at the callerID, that they finally figure out why their point guard has a new kick in her step.

“You should invite her out with us tonight,” Caroline is the first to speak, giving Paige an encouraging smile.

“Carol,” Nika hisses, “we can’t just invite the enemy.”

“She’s not the enemy,” Paige defends immediately, “we don’t even have a rivalry with UCLA.”

Nika scoffs indignantly, “of course she is. She picked a different school over us. Over UConn! That’s weird. Who even does that?”

“Lots of people do,” Caroline, who occasionally texts Azzi (albeit she’s kept that somewhat of a secret), supplies helpfully, shrugging when the Croatian glares at her.

Piath nudges Paige when she notices the other girl has gone quiet, “ignore Nika. She doesn’t mean it, you know that. If you wanna invite her, invite her.”

And she does, she wants to so badly. It’s insane really because it hasn’t even been a full day since they’d last seen each other but Paige swears something inside her has been missing since. There’s something awfully terrifying about letting Azzi back into the UConn version of her world, the world that the younger girl had once rejected. Still, if they’re going to try this again, she supposes sooner or later, it’ll have to happen.

“Put her on speaker,” Nika orders when Paige grabs her phone back from her.

“Nika,” Caroline, younger only by age, warns, pulling the other girl away, “we’re supposed to be cheering her up, not making life harder.”

Azzi answers on the third ring, her voice teasing “miss me already?”

Yes, Paige thinks, sometimes I think I miss you even when you’re right here next to me, sometimes I think I’ll miss you forever. But she doesn’t say any of that.

“Not a chance,” she scoffs instead, “besides you called me first.”

“Butt dial.”

“Mmmhmm I’m sure.”

“Shut up,” Azzi laughs and Paige is glad her teammates aren’t here to see the goofy grin that appears on her face at the sound of it, “I just wanted to see if we were doing something tonight?”

“Yeah- umm- you remember I told you about the girls coming down this weekend. They- uh- they wanted to go out tonight and uh- you could come along?”

There’s a pause on the other end and Paige knows Azzi’s going through the same thought process as her.

“I don’t wanna intrude on your time with your team P-”

“You wouldn’t be intruding,” Paige cuts in immediately and although she figured her teammates were definitely eavesdropping, Nika cursing about her being “pussywhipped” followed by in-sync shushing from Piath and Caroline, gives them away.

On the other end of the line, Azzi’s quiet again, “it’s okay P, you go have fun with your friends. We don’t have to spend every night together. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

What she doesn’t say is that maybe they need to learn how to live like that again, how to live apart again. Paige is almost done with the LA part of her rehab, something both of them are still in denial about. It’s only a matter of time before they return back to their two separate worlds and neither of them are sure they’ve managed to repair their friendship enough to not slip back into their foolishness again.

“But I wanna see you tonight,” Paige whines, her tone teetering on the edge of sounding like a desperate girlfriend, “please.”

“Paige-”

“Pleaseeeeeee. I’m literally injured and begging Az, it’d be mean to say no.”

“What does your injury even have to do with any of this?” Azzi sighs exasperatedly, “but yeah okay fine calm down Bueckers. Send me an address, I’ll be there.”

“You don’t wanna come pregame here?”

“Dude, let's not push it, okay?”

“Yeah, yeah okay see you,” Paige pauses, “hey Az?”

“Hmm?”

“I’m really happy you’re coming tonight.”

“I’m really happy you’re happy P.”

***

Azzi Fudd is a menace. See, people often get fooled by her soft-spoken nature and shy demeanour, but Paige has been around her long enough to know the truth. In the beginning it was the witty quips the younger girl always had ready whenever they were having some ridiculous argument. After that, it was the direct pranks that wreaked havoc on Paige’s life. But tonight, in Paige’s opinion, tonight is Azzi’s worst offence. She had to have done it on purpose, had to have known the sheer effect it would have on Paige to see her dressed like that. The red criss-cross tank top fits her like a mould and the way her ripped jeans shorts cling to her hips leaves little to the imagination. Her diamond belly button piercing shines against her skin, taunting Paige. She wants to touch, she wants to feel, she wants to do all the unspeakable things in her mind but she’s forced to just watch.

What she hates most though, is that everybody else is watching too. Since Azzi’s walked into the club, Paige has had to fight the urge to strangle every stranger who had given her best friend an appraising once-over. Some of them let their eyes linger long enough to give her time to plot out the perfect murder strategy (it’s the only way she can stop herself from actually committing a crime tonight). And, as Azzi dances with Caroline, hips swaying to the beat and holding the other girl a little closely, Paige has the irrational urge to hit sweet, kind Caroline of all people.

The thing is, Azzi’s been a little too attached to Caroline since she got here in Paige’s opinion. And she gets it. Piath, bless her soul, is trying but has always been a little awkward around new people. Nika is definitely not trying, loyally holding onto a grudge on behalf of Paige. Which leaves Caroline, who’s already familiar territory and the younger girl has grasped onto her like a lifeline. But enough is enough Paige decides, as she slips out of her seat with a determined look. Smoothly, she cuts right in between Caroline and Azzi.

“Nika’s a little wasted and I don’t want to deal with,” it’s a blatant lie but Paige knows appealing to Caroline’s more motherly instincts will get her what she wants. She gets a raised eyebrow in return, her teammate clearly catching her ruse because Nika looks visibly fine. But it works anyway and Paige gets Azzi to herself. She reaches for the other girl’s hand, twirling her just so she can hear that stupid silly laugh, and then pulling her back so she’s facing Paige.

“You having fun?”

“Always have fun with you P,” Azzi replies. She’s clearly tipsy but there’s no hint of insincerity in her voice. It makes Paige’s breath hitch.

“Yeah?” she whispers, taking a step closer, “more than with Carol?”

Azzi giggles, “more than anyone.”

The song in the club changes and as the crowd adjusts to it, someone jostles Azzi and immediately Paige grabs at her hips to steady her. As she finds her balance, Azzi’s giggles subside, realising just how close she is to the blonde now. They’re stuck in slow motion as the world dances around them. The combination of adrenaline and alcohol pumping through her veins is what convinces Paige to test the limits. One hand still squeezing at Azzi’s bare waist, revelling in finally getting to touch, she brings up her thumb to trace around Azzi’s lips. The younger girl gulps, but when she doesn’t try to move away, confidence pulses through Paige. Her heart is beating frantically out of her chest, years and years of want and need that she’d shoved as far away as possible, desperately fighting to get to the surface.

Pushing herself closer, so their chests are now pressed to each other and Azzi’s hands have no choice but to latch onto her biceps, Paige places a delicate, teasing kiss to the corner of Azzi’s lips. She wishes she could record the whine it elicits and listen to it on loop for hours. Smirking, she moves to place another one on the other side, this time pressing her lips a little harder, a little longer. Azzi’s eyes are closed shut, hands gripping onto Paige so tightly, she knows there’ll be a mark on her biceps tomorrow. She cups Azzi’s face with both hands now, her own eyes shutting involuntarily, as she finally, finally brushes their lips together.

This time, the strangled noise that leaves Azzi’s throat, is one Paige wishes she could forget as the younger girl rips herself away from Paige, the force of it creating almost a foot of distance between them. It doesn’t take long for the familiar sting of rejection to make itself home in her heart. Azzi’s eyes are brimming with tears as she manically shakes her head. Without a word, she rushes through the crowd, making a beeline for the exit, leaving Paige confused and craving for another taste.

***

It takes Paige a second to gather her thoughts before following the brunette. She ignores the confused glances from her teammates, making some bullshit excuse about fresh air as she fights her way outside. When she gets there, Azzi’s leaning against the wall, eyes closed as she takes in long deep breaths.

“That’s not usually how girls react when I try to kiss them,” Paige says after a second, trying to make light of the situation, even if her heart is heavy with anxiety.

It’s the wrong thing to say because Azzi scoffs, “you kiss a lot of girls don’t you.”

“Yeah and most of them kiss me back,” Paige bites back.

She’s taken aback by the fire in the darker-skinned girl’s eyes as Azzi finally opens them, heaving herself off the wall.

“I won’t be one of your groupies Paige. I won’t be one of your desperate one night stands. I won’t be just some other hookup. I won’t!”

Frankly she’s a little offended Azzi would even think that of her. She’s aware of her reputation. In fact she’d probably fed into it a little bit, exaggerating her escapades to Azzi on the phone her freshman year, when they had been on the verge of combusing and she’d been desperate to get a rise out of the younger girl. Last year though, last year was different. But Azzi doesn’t know that.

“I don’t want you to be any of that,” she replies feebly.

“Then what, do you want me to be?” Azzi’s voice rises with each syllable.

Paige stutters, the words getting stuck in her throat. The truth is she wants Azzi to be everything. The truth is, Azzi already is everything. Except there’s too much between them and she just can’t say it. They stand in silence until Azzi finally breaks it.

“I think these last few weeks of summer might have been the best of my life,” she says miserably, “and that might be the worst thing ever you know? Because it’s not real. You’re gonna go back to your world and you’ll- you’ll stop replying to my texts and you’ll stop- you’ll stop calling me and I- I don’t know if I can do that again.”

“That’s an awful lot of assumptions you’re making about me,” Paige is on defensive mode now, feeling a fight brewing.

“Because that’s what happened. Go back through your fucking phone Paige. Look at all the times I tried. And all the times you never did. You just- you cut me out Paige.”

“That’s not fair. You chose fucking UCLA. Over me.”

“No,” Azzi corrects immediately, anger seeping into her tone, “I chose UCLA over UConn. You made it about yourself.”

Paige swallows back a bitter response in favour of trying to prevent a full-fledged argument, “okay, okay let’s not- let’s not do this okay. It’ll be better this time- I- I won’t ignore your calls or texts or you okay? Just- can we just go back inside please?”

“That’s the thing,” Azzi’s anger is gone, replaced by a sad wistful smile, “I don’t know if I believe that you will,” a single tear rolls down her cheek, “I- I don’t fully trust you and you haven’t fully forgiven me. So where do we go from here?”

It’s a lie what they say about the truth setting you free, Paige thinks as Azzi’s words squeeze at her heart, because all it’s done is unleash shackles of despair that holds them both hostage. It had been easy the last couple of weeks, to pretend the last year had never happened. It had been easy for Paige to pretend that she was over what happened, to ignore the part of her brain that still felt so utterly betrayed.

“Azzi, what are you saying? You don’t- you don’t wanna be friends?” Paige feels nauseous even saying it.

“No I-” Azzi chews at her bottom lip, “I’m saying this- us- we’re too fragile to complicate even more. I barely- fuck- Paige, I barely survived losing my best friend. I don’t think I could survive losing something more.”

The worst thing about it all, is that it makes sense. And really, Paige doesn’t know what she’d expected to happen if Azzi hadn’t pulled away when she did. They’d kiss, maybe give in and do more and then what? Shake hands and walk away? Or make false promises that would ultimately lead to resentment? No, Years and years of something deserved better than either of those masochistic endings. It makes sense, it does but it doesn’t mean Paige has to like it.

In front of her, all the fight evaporates from Azzi’s body, as the younger girl leans back against the brick wall of the club, sliding down and pulling her knees to her chest. She looks every bit as miserable as Paige feels and all the blonde wants to do is wipe away the stress lines creasing against the younger girl’s beautiful phase. She moves to sit down next to her best friend, shuffling so their shoulders are pressed together and intertwines their fingers together. A sigh of relief escapes her when Azzi doesn’t immediately pull away. Instead, she squeezes their hands tighter, as if she’s scared that if she lets go, Paige will disappear.

“You didn’t lose me you know,” Paige says softly after a second, nudging Azzi’s shoulder when the other girl lets out a noise of protest, “I know, I know it feels like you did. It felt like that to me too except- every time something good or bad happened to me, I heard your voice or- or maybe I just really wanted too. We got lost a little bit but I didn’t- I didn’t lose you and you didn’t lose me. There’s a difference. I don’t think we could ever lose each other like that. Not really.”

When Azzi turns to look at her, the golden glow of the street lights illuminate the emotions in her eyes. She gives Paige a soft smile, “well Bueckers, if basketball doesn’t work out, maybe you have a future in poetry.”

“I could do whatever I wanted,” except what I want to do the most.

It doesn’t take long for the Uber Azzi’s already called to start pulling up and that familiar ache of longing creeps into Paige’s spine. She knows tonight isn’t their final goodbye; they still have a couple more days. But those days will be spent ignoring and pretending, unlike tonight and the firm grip they have on reality. They rise off of the cold pavement together, dusting themselves off. It takes a second of awkward glances before they’re surging into each other’s arms, squeezing each other so tightly that it’s hard to breathe. Paige wills herself not to cry, hiding her face in the crook of Azzi’s neck.

“We’ll be okay,” she whispers, unsure if it’s more for her benefit or Azzi’s.

The unwanted beep of a car is the only reason they reluctantly pull away, hurriedly wiping away unshed tears, they pretend the other can’t see. Azzi musters up a brave smile, before slowly moving away and it takes everything in Paige not to crumble and begs her to stay. Azzi’s halfway to the car when she turns back and it feels like Paige can breathe again. The brunette’s face is conflicted for a second before turning determined, as she starts walking back up.

“Az-”

Paige’s confusion is stifled as Azzi fists her shirt, pulling her into a searing kiss. It’s desperate and needy and it’s only a few seconds before the dark-haired girl is pulling away again, but it sets Paige’s entire world off balance.

“I just-” Azzi’s breathing is rapid and uneven, “I’ve wanted to do that since I was fifteen and- just- fuck- I just-,” she blinks up at Paige, “I hate- I hate leaving things unfinished and for fucks sake if you don’t call me back this time Bueckers- just- don’t be a stranger.”

Paige doesn’t get time to answer, she doesn’t think she could even if she did, because Azzi scurries away almost immediately. She stops when she gets to the car, turning back to give Paige one final look, a look that will haunt Paige forever, before getting into the backseat. As Paige watches the back of Azzi’s uber gets smaller and smaller, her tongue darts across her lips as she tries to memorise the faintest taste of Azzi’s strawberry-flavoured lipstick. And she knows, she’s so utterly and completely and terribly fucked.

#pazzi #paige bueckers #azzi fudd #wcbb

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jflemings · 5 months

Text

— let the light in [p3]

pairing: jessie fleming x reader part 1, part 2

synopsis: you finally let the light in

warnings: depression, talks of suicide, self sabotage if you squint, feelings of shame

as soon as casey gets in her car, jessie runs back into her flat and grabs her keys and phone. she’s got one shoe on and is halfway out the door when she stops herself and turns around, walking towards the shelf next to her couch. she fingers through the small maple leaf trinket tray until she finds the spare key she had forgotten to give back to you, gripping in tightly in her hand as she slips her other shoe on and walks out the door.

she parks her car on the curb and shields her face from the rain that had started on her drive over, cursing herself for wearing a pair of black canada football shorts when a particularly cold gust of wind flows through her.

jessie walks into your building shivering and clutching your spare key in her right hand. she can feel the teeth on the key digging into her palm as she steps into the elevator and presses the button to your floor. shockwaves of nerves hit her almost rhythmically and she has to wipe her sweaty palms on her jumper.

the elevator door opens and in steps shelley, the old woman pushing her glasses up her nose “jessie!” she exclaims before frowning “you coming to see y/n?”

the canadian half shrugs “hopefully”

shelley smiles and pats jessie’s shoulder “it’s good that you’re here” she says as the elevator moves again, stopping at your floor “she needs ya”

all she can do is swallow the lump in her throat and nod once, walking up to your door and knocking twice. she doesn’t get a response, like she knew she wouldn’t, so she knocks again. and again. and again just the way you hate it so hopefully you get out of bed and answer her.

the door cracks slightly and half of your face peers out “jessie you need to leave” you croak.

“no.” she argues much to your surprise “i talked to casey”

she hears you curse under your breath and places a hand on your door “y/n please” she manages to get out before you go to slam the door in her face. she quickly slots her foot in the door and presses harder “you don’t have to let me in, fuck, you don’t even have to talk to me but at least call and let her know you’re not dead” she says harshly, her eyebrows furrowing when you don’t say anything. “your boss was going to call the police to do a welfare check. casey sent me instead”

“i’m fine”

jessie pushes against the door harder, her foot still slotted between the doorframe and the threshold of you apartment "please" she pleads "all I want to do is help you. that's it"

tears well in your eyes at the thought of jessie seeing the state your apartment is in right now. you look behind you pathetically before shaking your head 'jess-"

"it's okay" she cuts you off quietly "you don't have to feel ashamed about it"

you wipe stray tears with the back of your hand "it's really bad" you mumble "I haven't, uhm, been taking very good care of myself"

the canadian pushes the door a little bit more seeing that you've begun to take your weight off it. her face softens "I'm not here to judge you or to make you feel bad for what you're going through. I just wanna help you get back on your feet"

biting your lip, you finally give in. you hang your head in shame as you let jessie slowly push your front door open and into your mess of an apartment. dread overwhelms you when she doesn’t say anything and just looks around, her eyes scanning each nook and cranny of your space before landing back on you.

you can’t — won’t — look her in the eye, choosing to instead pick at your cuticles as you continue to hold the door open. your grip on the handle tightens until your knuckles are white and you can feel more tears begin to stream down your face.

her hand cradles your face and she wipes her thumb under your eye “look at me” she coaxes, ducking her head ever so slightly “you have nothing to be ashamed of.”

you lip quivers as you nod and she removes her hand from your face, returning them to her sides. you push the door close and lean against it watching she jessie’s hands flex at her side. the two of you stand opposite eachother for a few moments before she reaches for you and you fall into her arms sobbing.

“i-i’m so sorry”

jessie’s hand runs up and down your back “i told you—”

“no i’m sorry for not telling you. i’m sorry for shutting you out” you cry as she places a hand on top of your head “i thought i was doing what was best for you”

jessie stays quiet as sobs wrack your body, tears begin to form in her own eyes at the thought of you putting her first when you were the one that needed help. she was angry, so angry, with herself for letting you do that. for letting you walk out of her apartment that day.

you grip the back of her jumper tightly “i wanted to push you away before… before you realised that i was too hard to love”

“never” jessie says confidently and sternly, pulling you out of her shoulder so she can look at you “never. you are never too hard to love”

“you haven’t seen the worst of it jessie. i don’t eat, i either sleep all day or not at all, my place is a fucking pigsty and i barely have the energy to shower!” you push her hands off frustratedly “does that sound like someone who’s easy to love”

“it sounds like someone who needs some love” she says softly.

you pause and the tension eases from your face. your fingers twitch where they’re holding jessie’s wrist and you look up at your ceiling, blinking away tears.

she takes your hands in her own “c’mon, i’ll run you a hot bath”

you let jessie lead you to your ensuite and cringe at the state of your room but she doesn’t even spare the mess a glance. instead she turns on the bath, finds you a clean towel and some clean clothes and urges you to get in. you get undressed slowly, suddenly feeling very exposed as she grabs the shampoo and conditioner out of your shower.

the water is steaming when you get in and you immediately relax at the comforting feeling. sighing, you duck your head under the water and resurface to find jessie sitting on the ground, one arm leaning on the bath. you turn the tap off once you’re sure the bath is full enough.

“do you want me to wash your hair?”

“yes please”

jessie gets you to turn around and lathers shampoo into your hair, massaging your scalp and dragging the remaining shampoo down to your ends. she then gets you to duck your hair back under the water as she sits up on her knees, looming over you so she can rinse it all out. next, the canadian grabs a comb from under your sink and applies a generous amount of conditioner to your hair, rubbing it in and beginning to gently detangle the knots.

for the most part the room is silent except for the sound the water makes when you move. you close your eyes and allow yourself to be enveloped in the feeling of jessie’s hands running through your hair once again “jess”

jessie hums from behind you, the comb still threading through your ends.

“you- uhm, you saved my life. when we met”

jessie stops momentarily to look over your shoulder at you “what do you mean?”

“i was only at the coffee shop because my machine broke that morning” you sigh, suddenly afraid that you shouldn’t be telling her this. “i had been giving away my stuff for weeks beforehand because i picked out a day to… to end my life”

the canadian stops combing through your hair and you hear the piece of plastic be placed onto the tiles. jessie tucks your wet hair behind your ear and slightly pushes your shoulders so you turn to face her. you cover yourself by bringing your knees to your chest as she leans on the edge of the bath again, urging you to continue.

“i had a note written and the things i had left were organised for when my apartment was going to be cleared out. i had planned to go back to home and take my own life, but then you invited me to sit down and we talked, and you said that you wanted to see me again.” you cock your head, your voice shaky as you continue “and i never told you, swore that i never would, because that’s a lot of responsibility to have, to be the reason that someone didn’t kill themselves and to be honest i don’t even know why i’m telling you this because it’s nothing you actually need to know an—”

“y/n” jessie cuts off your face paced, run-on rambling softly, putting her hand on your knee “breathe”

you take a few deep breaths “i’m sorry. that’s a lot”

“not for me” she whispers “it’s never a lot for me”

“please stop saying never” you whisper breathlessly “that’s a big thing to say”

“i don’t care” she tells you “i’m being honest with you. you have never been to hard to love, or too much. you are the easiest person to love, and there’s nothing i wouldn’t do for you” she pauses to stroke your cheek “except help plan your funeral” she says sadly, swiping under your eyes again “please don’t make me do that for you.”

you nod and hold onto her hand that’s resting on your cheek “i won’t”

jessie places a firm kiss on your forehead and then stands “if you need me i’ll be right outside, okay? i’m gonna shut the door to give you some privacy but just call if you need anything”

“okay” you mumble as she smiles and shuts the door, leaving you to make ripples in the water.

as soon as jessie shuts the bathroom door she’s opening your curtains and stripping your bed. she pulls off the covers and pillow cases and then picks up all the clothes off your floor, stuffing them into the duvet cover before throwing it onto your stopped bed. she takes all the dirty dishes out to the kitchen, setting them down before looking under the sink for your cleaning supplies. retreating back to your bedroom, she makes quick work of wiping down all the surfaces and putting things back where she knows they belong. she sprays, wipes and dusts everything in her sight, not once slowing down.

part of her thinks she’s going so fast because she’s so angry at the world. she’s angry because you are the best person she’s ever met, the love of her life, and the world has let you feel as though you were nothing. the midfielder doesn’t let up her cleaning as she grabs all the rubbish that’s accumulated in your bin, throwing it in a plastic bag near by.

she takes the rubbish out to the kitchen and the duvet of dirty laundry into your small laundry closet before grabbing you some fresh sheets. she makes your bed and fluffs your pillows, only satisfied when it looks perfect. jessie vacuums every inch of floor in your room until she is satisfied, nodding her head once before moving out to the kitchen and living room.

she sets the vacuum aside and loads your dishwasher up, choosing to hand wash whatever dishes don’t fit. anything she can’t scrub clean gets chucked out and she reminds herself to take you shopping to replace it. she fills up another trash bag full of rubbish before she completely unloads your fridge and wipes it down so the lingering smell of off food wont hit you when you open it. when she realises just how much food she’s had to throw out, she pulls out her phone and opens her notes app to start a checklist of things she has to do.

☐ buy new plates

☐ go grocery shopping

☐ new bed sheets

satisfied with her list for the moment, she pockets her phone and moves to the pantry, turning to get retrieve her cleaning cloth when she sees you standing in the hallway. you’re dressed in her chelsea jumper from last season and a pair of black cotton shorts, your damp hair tucked behind your ears as you stare at her wide eyed.

“jessie”

the canadian shakes her head “i told you, i’m here to help. let me help”

“you don’t have to though” you attempt to reason with her, your eyes darting around your suddenly clean kitchen.

jessie rounds the kitchen island to you and grabs your elbow “i want to”

“thank you” you kiss her cheek “i’ll do the pantry”

jessie nods as you open the doors and grab a rubbish bag, cringing as you check the expiry dates on things before tossing them. she grabs the vacuum and does the kitchen floor before doing the rug in your living room, picking up things as she goes and putting them in her rightful place.

she can’t help but spare glances at you as she does. the sight of you clean and up and moving makes her smile slightly knowing that you haven’t been. your cheeks are tear stained and you sniffle every so often, but you continue to clean. you put away the dishes that aren’t in the dishwasher and you throw dirty kitchen towels aside to be washed, you spray and wipe down the benches before tossing another half full bag of rubbish on the pile that’s accumulating by the door.

jessie stops vacuuming in favour of dusting. she does the coffee table, the tv cabinet and the windowsill before moving over to your bookshelf. the trinkets that litter it get cleaned delicately, each and every one not getting put back onto the shelf until jessie is sure they’re free of dust.

she smiles at the things that she got you still being displayed. a picture of the two of you at christmas, a ceramic koala she got you during the world cup, a snow globe that she got from a gift shop in toronto, your polaroid camera and the photo you took of her when you first got it. little items that all played a part in your relationship, each one holding a little story that made up your big one.

the spare key she still hasn’t given back burns a hole in her pocket and she’s suddenly reminded of the fact that the two of you are in fact not together.

a frown flashes across her face before you walk over to her. you tilt your head and adjust the position of the koala slightly before grazing your fingers over the books on your shelf. jessie fishes out the key from her pocket and hands it to you “i forgot to give you this when—” she interrupts herself “before.”

you look between her and the key that she’s trying to give back to you. you pause for a moment before clasping her hand around it “keep it”

“i didn’t come here to try to pressure you into getting back with me” jessie tries to tell you.

“i know but i want you to keep it. it’s yours”

jessie’s heart flutters as she puts the key back in her pocket. you nod you head to the couch and sit down, patting the spot beside you wordlessly. jessie sits next to you and you lace your fingers together.

“it’s hard jess, loving someone with mental illness. it can be really draining” you explain softly “wherever we go from here, that’s up to you. i’m going to have bad days, and sometimes i’m going to get so far in my own head that i can’t pull myself back out” you squeeze her hand and your eyes soften the way they do when you look at jessie.

“i know” she tells you, wearing an identical look to yours “but i’m not fucking around. you are the easiest person to love, and i am more than willing to do it for the rest of my life”

“that’s not something to say lightly jess”

“i know. i’m just being honest” she shrugs slightly “please”

you purse your lips to suppress a smile “okay”

jessie’s face splits into a grin and she kisses your cheek quickly, watching you drown as you roll your eyes and grasp the side of her face. your thumb stokes her cheekbone as you kiss her softly and slowly. it reminds her of the first time you kissed, you saw how nervous she was when dropping you home after your third date and you rolled your eyes and leant over her centre console, grasping her cheek and pausing before letting your lips meet her own softly.

she had gone to bed giddy that night, the butterflies not subsiding even when she went to training the next day.

similarly to then, butterflies erupt in her stomach and flutter all through her insides. “i want you to tell me when you feel like this, even if you think you’ve got it handled. it doesn’t matter if you think it’s too much, all i ask is that you don’t bottle it up”

“i’m going to start seeing my therapist again”

“and that’s good, but i don’t want you walking around thinking you have to do it on your own because you don’t. you’ve never had to” she squeezes your hand and you squeeze hers back just as tight.

“okay” you nod “i promise”

jessie smiles and kisses you again.

“c’mon” you say before standing “the rubbish needs to be put out and then i need to find something that can be eaten for dinner”

“we’ll order in. thai sound good to you?”

your eyes soften “thai sounds great”

#jessie fleming #jessie fleming x reader #jessie fleming blurb #jessie fleming angst #jessie fleming fluff #woso x reader #woso imagine #woso angst #woso fluff #jflemings woso #jflemings writes

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multi-fxndom446 · 7 months

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Beg

Scenario: Simon ‘Ghost’ Riley, Alex Keller, Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

Summary: the thought of being able to bring a strong man to his knees and beg for you. (Not in the good way. This will hurt.)

Truthfully I was not gonna post part one to this yet but I feel I should give you guys something since it’s been so long.

There will be more the one part to this series because unlike the ‘you came? You called.’ Series this one will only have three characters for each part only because some of them got a little lengthy.

Simon ‘ghost’ Riley

Warning: fighting, established relationship. Simon’s bad at feelings.

You’d been at it for what felt like hours and simon was getting fed up.

This was your fifth fight in just two weeks and he couldn’t even remember what this one was about all he knew was he said some hurtful things to you.

Some things he wished with every fibre of his being that he could take back. Some things he could see cut deeply into old wounds you were working on healing.

Some things so harsh you were now moving around the shared apartment at lightening speed, packing your bag.

But being the idiot he was he never could show the emotions he wanted to show you. So it was making you angrier to see he didn’t seem as affected as you even though he was, if not more.

“What do you need me to do to prove I’m sorry?” He was calm. Calmer then you were that was for sure. Tears were still running down your cheeks as you threw all your clothes onto the bed to start packing. “What do I need to do to prove I love you?”

“Nothing Simon.” You grumbled shoving past him. He was just watching you. Watching you completely break down in front of him and asking you How to fix his mistake. “You should know how to fix your mistakes.”

“What do you want me to do y/n?!” Finally he was getting angry.

You threw a shirt you were holding down on the bed and turned to him sharply. “I just don’t want to feel so meaningless to you!” You shouted at him and his eyes widened in shock.

“Meaningless? Is that how I make you feel?” You turned away from him when he took a few steps closer. When he went to grab your wrist you yanked yourself free and went back to packing and he was starting to grow desperate. “I never meant to.” He trailed trying to get you to look at him. “What do you need me to do? Do you want me to beg for you? I will if that’s what it takes.”

You scoffed. “I don’t need you to beg.” You hissed, shoving another shirt into your bag. “I just wish I knew how to read you. How to tell if you actually love me or even care for me.” Your movements started to slow down as the emotions finally wore you down.

You felt him caustiously take one of your hands in his and you didn’t fight him this time. “I love you more than words can explain.” He all but whispered and you felt a slight shift on your hand, making you turn to see what he was doing.

Your eyes widened. “Simon-“

There he was, kneeling in front of you. His eyes pleading with yours as he slipped his mask off all while holding your hand. “Please don’t go. I know I’m an idiot and I don’t deserve you but please..don’t leave me. I worship the ground you walk on. My day starts with you and ends with you and I’d rather die than have that ever change.”

—

Alex Keller

Warning: angst..so much angst. I wanna say I feel bad but this was honestly the first one I wrote and I regret nothing

It was his fault.

He let his guard down to early, he let his shoulders loose when he saw your carefree smile making its way to him from across the street.

By all accounts it should have been clear. His team cleared the streets and buildings on his side while yours did the same on the other. Neither he or you were aware the team in the building ahead had accidentally left a straggler.

His mouth opened to call your name when the shot pierced the air and suddenly he felt his world stop entirely when he saw you fall to the ground.

He couldn’t hear anything over the roar in his ears and the unmistakable sound of his voice shouting your name in panic before he was tackled to the ground by another soldier.

“Y/n!” He called again struggling against the man holding him down who kept yelling sniper in his ear but he didn’t care. He somehow managed to push off the soldier and crawl to where you were sprawled on the ground wheezing for breathe.

“Hey hey, I’m here.” He soothed immediately as he got to you. His hands coming to smooth across your face while you looked at him with something he recognized to be acceptance. “No dont do that. I need you to breathe. I need you to fight, if not for you for me.” He was still laying on the ground so he was basically nose to nose.

He was waiting for it to be clear so he could address your wounds better. “A-Alex.” Your voice was hoarse and it hurt him to see how much the one word hurt you.

Faintly in the background he could hear someone yell clear and faster then even he could comprehend he got to his knees so he could press on your wound with as much strength as he could muster.

You winced and clutched onto his arm tightly. “I know it hurts but I need you to stay with me okay?” He wiped his cheek against the rough fabric of his shirt to try and stop the tears from falling before you saw them. “There’s something I need to tell you when this is over remember?”

You nodded softly at him but your grip on his arm was getting lighter and he could tell the pain was starting to fade when he saw the light in your eyes start to fade. “Stay with me. Please..I’m begging you.” His voice cracked before he looked up to call for a medic.

“Alex..” you whispered when more gunshots rang through the sky, closer to where the two of you were and Alex was quick to stand and wrap his arms under your armpits to drag you off the street and closer to cover.

When he went to move back to his original position on his knees, you grabbed his hand weakly. “Stop.” You whispered and he stared at you for a moment before he fell to the ground in defeat.

You were still in his arms, one of his legs on each side of you while your head rested on his lap and his fingers ran soothing patterns on your cheek. One of your hands was holding loosely onto his wrist while the other pressed weakly onto your own wound if only to appease Alex.

“Tell me..” you whispered to him quietly but he only ran his fingers through your hair and shook his head. “Alex.” You cried, “please.”

“I’ll tell you when you’re better.” He tried to smile but it fell as soon as it reached his face. He waited for some kind of miracle, for the medics to reach you in time, for something!

But then he felt your hand lose grip on his wrist and fall. “Y/n?” He looked down at you. Your eyes had gone dull, your chest was no longer rising and falling in shallow breathes. He pressed his fingers to your neck, trying to find a pulse but there was none. You were gone.

He was supposed to tell you today. He was going to confess to you today. After years of holding onto it, today was the day. But now as you lay in his arms unmoving his own heart no longer beating, he knew he was to late.

“Please don’t take her from me.” He begged, his face held up to the sky hoping anyone would answer and wake him up from this nightmare but minutes passed and he was still there holding you.

Five minutes later he could hear footsteps approaching but he couldn’t bring himself to care if it was the enemy. But as they rounded the corner he was met with familiar faces.

“Alex..” Farahs voice was soft but it might as well have been a bomb going off in the silence in his head.

He looked up at them, his eyes far away while they took in the scene. “She’s dead.” He announced. His words tasting sour on his tongue as price turned to speak into his comms and the words KIA floated towards him.

—

Kyle ‘Gaz’ Garrick

Warning: hurt, fighting, angst…

“Are you out of your mind?!”

You sighed as Gaz burst into your room, his eyebrows pinched in annoyance and his chest heaving like he ran all the way to your room. Which honestly didn’t sound to far off track.

“Hello to you too Gaz.” You say while adding another folded shirt to your pile of clothes you were packing. “Something I can help you with?”

“Don’t give me that.” The door clicked shut behind him and then the sound of his boots hitting to floor heavily as he took a few steps towards you. “You can’t go on this mission.”

“Not like I have a choice in the matter.” You muttered, back still turned to him.

“Y/n!” His voice raised slightly, making you halt your movements. “This is a suicide mission, please back out.” Your eyes fell to your bed when you heard the crack in his voice.

“I don’t recall you having any say in this Kyle. Last I heard I take instructions from Captain price.” You sighed again and glanced at him from over your shoulder. “I’m not backing out.”

He let out a breathe, his heart feeling like it was going to beat out of his chest. He couldn’t for the life of him understand why you were being so cold to him right now. “Then let me come with you.”

You zipped up your bag and pushed it to the side so you could sit down. “It’s not up to me.” You moved past him to grab your shoes that were by the door before going back to your bed.

“Then I’ll go talk to him again. Convince him.” At this you paused and finally, finally Made eye contact with him.

“What are you talking about Kyle?” Your eyes narrowed. “Did you go to the Captain about this already?”

His silence was all you needed and you shook your head as you broke eye contact, muttering a soft ‘unbelievable’ under your breathe.

He stared down at you as you unlaced your shoes. You were leaving soon and he didn’t know why you were spending these last moments being cold to him.

It didn’t make sense to him, you guys were fine this morning. It was like..suddenly his mind came to a screeching hault. It was like you knew this mission could very well be your last and you were trying to push him away before you left so you could spare his feelings.

That was the only explanation that made sense to him. “Why are you being like this?” You didn’t respond to him just put your shoe on. “You’re doing this to protect me aren’t you? You’re trying to push me away because you know you could die.”

His words had you pausing as you started tightening the laces. You couldn’t meet his gaze and it only solidified his theory.

After a moment you resumed your movements and finished lacing up one shoe just to move on to the next.

Gaz watched you for a second longer before moving so he was standing just an inch in front of you, then, when you wouldn’t look at him, he fell to his knees.

His hands rested on your knees as he forced you to look him in the eye. “Please Y/n. Don’t go on this mission.”

He watched the tears start to build in your eyes while you were forced to stop lacing up your shoes. He could feel his own tears threaten to fall when he saw your facade crumble.

He rested his chin on one knee as he looked up at you, pleadingly. “Please Y/n.” He whispered and one of your hands came to stroke his cheek.

“Kyle.” You whispered back and his name alone had his eyes closing, his tears falling because he knew with just the one word that he couldn’t convince you to stay. “I have to.”

Don’t hate me to much😭

#call of duty x reader #call of duty imagine #cod x reader #alex keller x reader #simon ghost riley x reader #simon riley x reader #kyle gaz garrick x reader #kyle garrick x reader #kyle garrick imagine #alex keller imagine #simon riley imagine

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dystopyx-blog · 1 month

Note

I'm thinking of the unmedicated fic, specifically how some characters would react to finding out their darling does SH

Like. I mainly think of Azul here cause it's prime blackmail. Wanna get better? He has a deal for that. Don't want the deal? Well, it'd be a shame for people to know about the blade in your room

hmmmmmm thinkin about it….

tw for self harm, and some serious insensitivity from the boys.

Cuz if everyone were to find out about it, whether or not Azul was the one to tell them…

well then you’ll end up with a whole bunch of yanderes even tighter on your ass, y’know?

you got those like Deuce, Trey, Jack, and Malleus fretting over you,

those like Deuce, Ruggie, Floyd, Kalim, Epel, Idia, and Sebek nearly bursting into tears at the mere sight of you,

and those like Riddle, Cater, Leona, Jade, Azul himself, Jamil, Vil, Rook, and Lilia watching over you like fucking HAWKS to make sure you don’t do anything. Cater, Leona (surprisingly), Jade, Rook, and Lilia aren’t too bad. Like they watch over you but like… it’s different than the other hawks. Like with these guys, you still feel like you can breathe a little.

Riddle, Azul, Jamil, and Vil have these steely gazes as they watch you, their eyes narrowing every time you get anywhere near something particularly dangerous. In their cases, they’re like your fucking wardens or something. Like their auras are almost… judgmental.

Even though the most (if not all) of the TWST cast have experienced some low lows, they just can’t understand why you would injure yourself. Like, they understand you’re going through it and you have your own battles, but like… you’re supposed to be better than them?? Why do you injure your perfect skin??

So needless to say, if word came out about you harming yourself, the response from the boys would be… smothering, to say the least.

I could say quite a bit more, but I’ve got Stuck in TWST Without Meds part 2 cooking so

I’m also too lazy to put all the tags rn womp womp

#Stuck in twst without meds #yandere twst #yandere #yandere twisted wonderland

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sensitivegoblin · 2 years

Text

….

#i wanna scream #my brain is like in 100 different places rn #i need to SH so bad but I don’t have anything sharp #SHing is the only thing that makes me ‘normal’#‘normal’ meaning I turn back into a mirroring Barbie doll whose only purpose is to make others happy #why does nobody care about the impact of their words like I do….#i just….FUCK #I’m so angry #24/7 I’m on the verge of a nose bleed because I’m constantly thinking about the effect I have on people #BUT NO ONE ELSE AROUND ME CARES #i wanna punch a wall until I can’t see past the blood #seriously I wanna go fucking insane and I can’t #‘nothing is happening to you’ BECAUSE YOU CANT SEE WHATS GOING ON IN MY FUCKING HEAD #fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck I’m SO angry :’(#I’m tired of caring about their feelings I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired I’m tired #no matter what I do it’s wrong…..#i hate myself so much I wanna cause so much violence to myself until the pain numbs everything inside #if I didn’t think I’d break it I would be ramming the tv remote on my head rn #whatever just gotta pretend it’s all ok #i can’t wait to leave my suicide note then I’m really gonna let it fucking rip #i know ot sucks but o wanna half attempt just so I get admitted to the hospital #maybe then they would see #but I care about being a good person so even tho I really want to I’m not gonna fake a suicide #but fuck I wanna see them with their tails between their legs when they walk into my hospital room #i wanna SEE them realize how fucked up I am #i just wanna see them care….#they’d be so mad and say ‘we show you all the time we care and we know people that had XY and Z so try that and come back to us’#but no you THINK I know you care #but you’re wrong #i dunno I just feel so lost I don’t think I was supposed to make it this far

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seventh-district · 1 year

Text

CW: talkin’ about my scars and the experience of having blood drawn

oh, the tension between me and the poor urgent care staff member that’s been assigned the arduous task of trying to find one of my tiny escape artist veins so they can draw my blood whilst doing their absolute best to be polite and not say anything about the fucked up and concerning amount of scars on my arms, wrists, and hands

#cw sh mention #sh mention #cw blood mention #blood mention #cw medical #cw health issues #Seven.txt #most of the scars are very old and white but they are still unmistakable and they don’t bother me but i do always feel a lil bad #for whoever is drawing my blood or giving me a shot or whatever cause they’re probably like. concerned but don’t wanna say anything #i don’t actually know what they’re thinking though. maybe they see it often enough that they’re not that bothered by it!#i told the first person that tried to do the draw that i have a history of it being hard to find a vein #and they really tried!#but like i figured i had to sit there and drink some more water while they called in someone with more experience lmao #they got it tho!! so it’s all good and they were very nice! they complimented my perfume and we chatted about essential oils while waiting #there’s smthn relaxing about having blood drawn. to me. maybe i’m just insane tho #i just. like medical stuff??? it’s calming in a way. knowing that i’m getting tested and hopefully getting answers to my health concerns #the next few days of waiting for the test results is very much so NOT relaxing tho #so if anyone needs me i’ll be sitting here staring at my phone in anticipation :)

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0asisbliss · 3 months

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how would the PT members (chrollo, feitan, shalnark and uvogin if you don’t wanna do the whole team) react to their darling actively SH and being suicidal? *sorry if this isn’t a topic you wanna write about i completely understand*

A/N: Thank you for requesting! Not really proofread sorry.

TW: Self harm, non-con, dark themes, etc. MDNI

Shalnark:

Its was just your second month in here its was pretty fucked up regardless even if you were getting used to it or not. It wasn’t that where he made you sleep. Yeah. It was a basement, but it’s not as bad as you thought it would be when you first got here. You have a nice bed, there’s a television down here, and he gave you a journal to write in. It’s not like you can say anything in it though he goes through it almost every week.

At this point Shalnark thinks that you’re comfortable enough to sleep with him. Even though you’re far from that. Over the past two months you’ve been here you have stopped resisting him, started to lean into his touch, and even accept his kisses! In his mind this is a plus. If your going to except his psychical affection your ready to accept his cock. Right?

You knew his mindset by heart now. It was sickening how you hated him, but when he comes back from “work” you crave his affection you were also tired of living in modified basement. It made your head hurt, and you threw up in your mouth a little by the thought of even him doing those “things” to you. You didn’t have to live like this. This was something you chose to live in. Can’t it all just end? Maybe.

Not now anytime, but now. It terrified you when he came in with just his green and yellow robe on. You could tell he had no type of clothes under by the way his robe moved on his body.

“Lovely? You okay? You seem a bit tense.” He walked right past your television, and sat beside you. He looked at you before placing a hand on your thigh. He tried to play it off by laying his head on your shoulder.

“Y’know? I want to feel you a little more than usual these days it hurts me to leave you for work.”

His hand gently slid up your thigh.

“I-I have to go to the bathroom.” You barely were able to mutter out.

Shalnark said nothing and let you get up and can to the restroom down the hall of the basement.

How was he going to get to you hm? You’re such a cute little work in progress.

The next day you knew Shalnark was leaving for work because he would always tell you days before he would leave.

Shalnark left after he made you two a little breakfast.

When Shalnark got to the hideout he went over to Phinks, Nobunaga, Uvogin, and Feitan. They were talking about the upcoming mission Chrollo had given them. They all knew about Shalnark’s situation with you and when Uvogin joked about how all of them could fuck you. It gave Shalnark the best idea.

To get you more comfortable with him, and maybe even the rest of them they could take turns with you. It could even be a new beginning for you two in bed.

When Shalnark got home he invited you upstairs for dinner you were surprised to see four other men there with him. You assumed they were Shalnark’s coworkers because of how they looked. They all looked a little weird, but so did Shalnark. You waved at them and only Nobunaga, Phinks, and Uvogin waved back. Feitan only stared at you. He creeped you out a lot. At dinner you felt their stares, and heard their whispers. It wasn’t until you heard the one with long hair make a comment about you boobs is when you had excused yourself from the table not wanting to be rude and just get up.

You didn’t Shalnark had followed behind you. You went until the basement to get on of the many hidden knives. You took the knife a cut a bit into your wrist. You dragged the knife along into your arm. You winced at the pain, but in some sick way you felt better I mean this is all your fault anyway.

“What the hell are you doing?” This was the first time you heard Shalnark raised his voice at you.

He slapped the knife out of your hand and put pressure on your wound. You weren’t getting out of this basement again anytime soon. If you thought he was suffocating now just wait till you’re healed.

Chrollo:

It’s clear you’re not in your right mind at this point. Chrollo just hasn’t seen that yet. It’s like he’s clueless. You don’t even care anymore it’s tiresome. How fucking emotional dumb he is. No matter how much he’s fucked you don’t even moan anymore. Chrollo doesn’t see himself as heartless. Nor does he himself as some cruel dictator. I mean in his mind you want for nothing. You have everything you want you should be giving him your all, but no. You just lying there lifeless looking. Your lucky Chrollo’s patience isn’t terrible.

After a mission he gathers the troupe together, and talks to them about their stress levels.

They all admit to being somewhat instability stressed. He gave them a proposal. Maybe they could take turns with you? Not at the same time of course. He wouldn’t want to overwhelm his darling.

When Chrollo approached you with this idea he thought about how you feel so good. You stared blankly at Chrollo. You walked away without giving him answer you walked into the kitchen a grabbed one the sharpest knifes you could find. You took the knife in the bathroom, and rolled your shirt up exposing your stomach to the mirror. You took the knife and cut small space in your stomach. Maybe if Chrollo sees how bad you look he wouldn’t go through that gang bang shit with the troupe. You didn’t want to do it.

Chrollo would know your answer but it would go through one ear and out the other.

He wouldn’t make you do anything but when you have nine plus people standing over you what can you do other than what they tell you?

You were lost in thought you cut yourself a little to deep and more blood that usual came out of your body. It was red. Dark red. Did you hit a vein or something? You sat on the side of the bathtub, and watch as a pool of blood started to pile under you.

Chrollo was starting to worry about you and opened the bathroom door.

You were starting to feel lightheaded and nauseous.

Chrollo moved toward you quickly, and picked you up, he carried to you to your shared bedroom. He dropped you on the bed you looked at him at he has a worried expression on his face. He didn’t have to say a word you knew what he was feeling. Maybe it’s best if you do die. You can finally get out of this hell hole with him.

It was only when you saw a pink haired woman enter the room when you lost all hope. She was the one who did your checkups. She was going to save you though you didn’t want to be saved you actually wanted to die. You scooted with the last bit of strength you had away from both of them. Falling off the bed you began to crawl away. They both brought you back on the bed and looked at each other then nodded. Chrollo chained you down to the bed so Machi could stitch you up.

You weren’t going to be in as much pain as you’re in now but when Machi was done it surely wasn’t going to be pretty.

Uvogin:

Uvogin has put you through some things but his takes the cake. What the hell?

“Why are you even acting like that. You’re acting like I’m just going to let them toss you around like a sex toy.” He scoffed.

“You’re fucking acting like it! No. I don’t want to do this shit. I’m so tired of you and your bull shit. You always want me to do the most craziest shit with you.” You held your arms up as an indication of your patience being lost. Your arm was covered in a whole lot of scars.

For the first time Uvogin got sick to his stomach about you.

“What the fuck is this?”

Uvogin grabbed your arm and twisted to view it whole.

“Hey- don’t fucking touch me-.”

He might’ve showed aggression and anger, but deep down Uvogin was scared, and worried. Why the hell are you doing this to yourself? Maybe he’s too much to handle?

You should’ve told him. (You did.)

Uvogin picked you bridal style and kissed you on your forehead.

“You’re never doing that again you hear me?”

He carried you back to your shared bedroom. Tomorrow you two were going to have a long talk, even if you didn’t want to. You have no choice.

#yandere hxh #yandere x you #yandere anime #yandere x darling #yandere uvogin #yandere chrollo #yandere shalnark #yandere chrollo x reader #Yandere Uvogin x reader #Yandere Shalnark x reader

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writebackatya · 10 months

Text

McDuck Family Members Most Likely to Start Sh*t at Thanksgiving Dinner

Ah Thanksgiving. The holiday celebrated on the 4th Thursday of November (in America that is), one with food, family, and celebrating what we’re thankful for! (Wanna feel bad? Learn about the holiday’s origins!)

And no family is quite as big as the found family from DuckTales; so arguments are bound to happen at a dinner table filled with so many zany characters with interesting pasts and quirks. Let’s honor those who would throw the first punch at a family dinner, shall we?

Bentina Beakley

I wanna cut Beakley some slack. She most likely had a long day before dinner even started what with all the preparations she did for dinner. Not just cooking for 20+ family members plus other side/recurring characters but also the cleaning and presentation

But let’s face it. This woman can be so condescending at times. And judgmental. You just know if someone is showing up to dinner wearing jeans and sweater she’d have something to say about it. And she strikes me as someone who would slam the dishes while cleaning them only for someone to say, “Hey Beakley do you need help with the dishes?” and then she’d be like “No. It’s fine. I got them”

But it’s not fine. Go help her with the dishes. She deserves a break

Dewey Duck

When I was first thinking about this list I originally thought “No way any of the triplets would start anything on Thanksgiving” Huey is a good boy and Louie would definitely take it easy on a day where you’re legally allowed to sit around, be lazy, and eat food. But then I remembered Dewey and how much of a diva he can be

We know Dewey is an entertainer and with everyone coming to dinner, he has a huge “captive” audience that he can perform for. Whether it be an original Thanksgiving song, a one man Dewey show about the first Thanksgiving, a sonnet about a bonnet, or a very special Thanksgiving episode of Dewey Dew-Night; that kid will want all the attention in him. And the very second the spotlight is taken off, oh boy…

Gladstone Gander

Look at this prick. Don’t you wanna slap his face!?!Anyway I love Gladstone Gander, but he’s the kind of family member that just would go on and on about himself and bring every conversation back to him again and how great his life is

That’s great Gladstone. Happy for you, the rest of us have to pay for our sushi but cool. Glad your good luck is really paying off, jerk

But honestly. It’s his tone. It’s the kind of tone that gives off that he knows he’s starting shit but won’t admit it

Goldie O’Gilt

I mean, it’s Goldie. What else can I say?

Gandra Dee

Oh man. There’s so many different ways controversy would start with this morally gray ex-FOWL agent and I’m here for it. Let’s face it, out of all the characters present, Gandra Dee would most likely be the one to bring up the holiday’s horrible origins. If anyone is making it their duty to make a rich white family uncomfortable on Thanksgiving, it’s Gandra Dee

She’d get political and even directly ask Scrooge who exactly he voted for in the past two Presidential elections (he claims to be progressive, but he’s still the richest duck in the world. Just how many tax cuts is this man getting to keep that status?)

Oh and what about the treatment of her overwork and underpaid boyfriend? Why is he still working in the bathroom?

Oddly enough, I can see her and Scrooge bonding over a mutual disdain for Gladstone Gander. What a prick

Kit Cloudkicker

It’s not that exactly what Kit does that’ll start a fight, but what he doesn’t do.

Kit is the kinda guy that was supposed to bring a dessert but totally forgot to pick something up from the bakery so instead he’s stopping at the gas station on the way to dinner to pick up some Twinkies

Kit is the kinda guy that would “take a walk” before dinner and not do anything to hide the scent and now all the kids are wondering how a skunk got inside

Gyro Gearloose

It’s Gyro. Something is bound to piss him off at some point

Doofus Drake

I am so tired of the fandom not including Doofus in this found family (Louie and him made up and are friends now and BOYD is his brother, sorry it’s canon) so he’s here on the list

But he’s still a new addition to this family. And a weirdo and a rich brat with a lot of issues that someone should seriously help him with. He’s gonna make everyone uncomfortable. Is it intentional? Or is he just being Doofus? Who knows

What I do know is this, don’t eat the dish he brought.

Della, Donald, and Scrooge!

The original three!

These three are responsible for splitting up the family in the first place so it’s no surprise that they’re number one on this list!!

Yes they’ve squashed their beef with one another and moved past the Spear of Selene, but they are still themselves

The ones most likely to start shit over the dumbest things

These three are going to be bickering over who should carve the turkey. And the argument will be so loud and hectic that no one will question why a bunch of birds are eating a turkey

Anyway, hope you enjoyed this list. It wasn’t meant to slander any characters, just did it for fun. Happy Thursday everyone.

#ducktales headcanons #ducktales 2017 #ducktales fandom #duckblr #bentina beakley #dewey duck #gladstone gander #goldie o'gilt #gandra dee #kit cloudkicker #gyro gearloose #doofus drake #della duck #donald duck #scrooge mcduck

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crazyco0tz · 1 year

Text

{comforting stray kids from a nightmare}

Pt.2

Warning: nightmares, angst with comfort, death in a dream, spelling errors prob, reader messages innies stomach to comfort him not in any other way!😡

Han

He has nightmares frequently, not as much as Chan but enough for him to wake you up a lot, last time he had a nightmare your were slightly frustrated because you really needed the sleep but he took it the wrong way, he thought he was annoying but he couldn’t help it.

So tonight he didn’t wake you up at all, even tho it was one of the worst nightmares he’s had, so instead of waking up to him shaking you, you wake up to him crying. Looking around to find him you spot him in the corner of the room in a lounge chair curled up trying to be quiet.

“Hannie?? What are you doing?” You say while rubbing your eye to see clearer, “g-go back to bed.. I’m f..fine” he utters “you don’t sound fine come here please..” you ask him politely

He gulps before standing up with his hands cupped infront of him while looking down, slowly walking over he reaches the bed then climes in next to you without looking at you, sitting with his knees up to his chest while your down on your side propped up by your arm.

“Love..” You Start, “why wouldn’t you wake me up? I would have helped you..” you question, he looks over at you for a split second “I.. I didnt want to bother you again.. I thought I would power through it but I couldn’t keep quiet so I moved away..” he admits while looking over to you softly

“Why would you ever be a bother to me? Come here.” You grab onto his arm to pull him next to you. “Can you just hold me…if you don’t want to tha-“ “sh I’ll gladly hold you, close your eyes everything is fine..” he nodded, soon after his breathe goes shallow, allowing you to finally Dose off yourself

Felix

You woke up to coldness, normally your relatively warm due to your boyfriend clinging to you, turning over to be met with nothing on the other side of the bed. “Maybe he’s using the bathroom” you thought but a quick glance at the bathroom to see no light on proved you otherwise

You slowing get up and make your way around the house to find your boyfriend, “lixie, where are you baby?” You whisper as u make your way to the living room. You hear a bowl clashing with a spoon, obviously your boyfriend.

Walking around the corner to see the dimly lit kitchen which your boyfriend sitting at the counter eating ice cream, walking up slowly he looks up from the bowl to glance at you, “hey lix what are you doing sunshine? So hungry you couldn’t sleep?” You giggled tiredly. Swallowing the ice cream in his mouth he starts to speak quietly “no..” you shuffled Next to him, “oh? Then why are you up??” You say while wrapping a arm around around his waist

“Uhm..” he starts “I had a bad dream..it’s nothing I needed to calm down..” you furrow your eyebrows slightly “why wouldn’t you wake me up then?” You say in a worried tone, getting up from your chair to walk over to the fridge while waiting for his response, “I didn’t wanna wake you, you looked so peaceful” you giggle while opening the fridge “all thought that is cute, you should wake me up when you get nightmares” you say while grabbing the whip cream.

Walking back over to him, whip cream in hand, you pop the can open to add more to his ice cream, he hums while you spray more whip cream in his bowl. “Still I didn’t know if you needed to get up early or anything.. just didn’t wanna bother you love..” you smile at him while spraying some whip cream into your mouth before putting it back, “babe it doesn’t matter if I have an early morning, you come first”

Finally finishing his ice cream he puts the bowl in the sink to clean later, “cmon baby let’s go back to bed~” he nods slowly due to exhaustion.

Seungmin

Seungmin does not have nightmares that much but when he does he’s always scared to go back to bed. Normally you stay up later than him for your own reasons, so when he hasn’t fallen asleep on your shoulder while u watched tv like always, you had to ask if anything was wrong

“Minnie moo??” He giggled at your nickname, he always thought that one was funny. “Why are you still up hm??” You tilt your head at him to signify the question “uhm..not tired” he awnsered quickly “well that’s not true, I can see it in your eyes, why don’t you sleep hm?” He gulps not wanting to admit his fear of something so silly. “Cmon why won’t you tell me if anything is wrong sweetheart?” You hear a whisper for your boyfriend but it’s not audible, “what was that sweetie?” “I said I’m SCARED” he admits quickly followed by him hiding his face under your arm since it was closest

You turn off the TV to have a proper conversation with him, “Minnie what happened..?” He shook his head at your question “did my baby have a nightmare??” He stopped his movements which gave your the awnser you need. “Pup..it’s ok nothing will happen to you yk..” “I know..” he mumbled.

Sighing at his pouty tone you lay down while his head is still stuck under your arm, grabbing the back of his head to lay it on your chest, making sure to not look at him so he won’t feel embarrassed. “Just lay here..I won’t look or judge I promise, just try and sleep ok?” He sniffed a little before speaking up “o….ok”

Smiling at your success you turn your head to the side to rest yourself, while slowly petting Seungmins back softly trying to tire him out.

Jeongin

He always wants to seem tuff towards you, even tho you have told him thousands of times that you don’t mind him being soft with you but he still chooses to not open up to you about “emotional” things like being scared of nightmares.

So when you wake up to him shaking in your arms you knew he was gunna deny it.

“Innie? Are you ok?” You ask half asleep, “yup.. just fine” he voice cracks at the end of the sentence, “I’m not believing that. Cmon what’s wrong?” “Nothing I promise..” you sigh at his stubbornness “fine whatever you say” you slide your hand up his shirt to rub his stomach softly, which you only did to calm him down.

“W-what are you doing…” he asks while grabbing your wrist slightly, “shh I know you don’t want to admit it.. but I’ll still comfort you anyways” you smile at the end of that sentence as you feel him relax, “I.. said im fine…yeah..” he says in a very tired tone. His weakness was always tummy rubs.

He drops his hand from your wrist, accepting your comfort which is a very rare thing, him being tired may have helped just a little bit, in the end he dozed off in your arms while holding your sleeve to make sure you don’t stop. In the morning he’ll deny him being “scared” at all.

I DID IT PART TWO AHAHHAH!!!!!

#stray kids reactions #stray kids scenarios #kpop fluff #stray kids #stray kids fluff #stray kids angst #han jisung #skz felix #seungmin #jeongin #skz fluff #skz reactions

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cookie-crumblr · 5 months

Text

Lucky

Shy M!Reader x F!Yandere OC

Part 2~

Her Info: 🪓

Part 1

<<<Previous Part _ Next Part>>>

!!!MINORS DNI!!!

CW: M! Reader, Reader has a penis, Reader referred to as he/him, psychological horror/trauma, reader is on meds for night terrors, blood, bdsm, collar use, petnames for reader(good boy, bad boy), pet play, bondage, non con(reader goes along with it but doesn’t actually consent), Lucy has SH scars/wounds, overstim, multiple orgasms scissors ✂️ masochist reader

Anything in red reader isn’t aware of.

Lucy passes you a folded pink piece of paper, her eyes locked onto the board as the professor is teaching.

You unfold it: ty <3

is all it says along with a ton of hearts doodled all over the stationary.

Your face feels hot. She sucked your dick and is now thanking you for it… What do you even think?

What are you supposed to think? or even feel?

You get up at the end of class to leave, but Lucy grabs the hem of your shirt. She looks zoned out, so you say, “Lucy?” to try and get her attention.

“Ope! sorry! um, C-can I c-come over, Y/N?”

You don’t see why not, you have nothing left to do today… “Sure!” you hate to fantasize already… But if she did that in public, imagine what she’ll do later.

The walk to your place is quick and easy, but Lucy stops you, her stomach growling loudly.

“You wanna get some food first? I don’t really have anything at home…” You tell her sheepishly.

She nods excitedly and grabs your hand. You don’t pull it away, and she tugs you along after her.

She’s grinning as she leads you, her hips swaying back and forth… You can’t help but stare just at her. Her skirt swishing over her—

Don’t keep staring at her ass.

DONT STARE AT HER ASS.

…

You’re staring at her ass.

You can’t help it, it’s mesmerizing. Her long orange hair is down right to her tailbone, adding to the allure. She has long white socks on that squish her thick thighs just below her skirt, the rims of the socks are frilly.

Lucy leads you to a cute tea cafe, the awning is pink and white, the inside is filled with regal looking chairs, the fancy ones with the carved wood along the backs. The upholstery is all pale pink velvet, and the tables instead of cloths have doilies and each table has a candle warmer for teapots.

She orders food from every section of the menu and you worry she’ll make you pay… Your heart pounds and you’re sweating bullets, there’s no way you can afford this much food! the worst part: the menu didn’t even have prices!

“I-um, I can pay, i-if that’s okay!” She looks away blushing. You remember that she’s a trust fund baby, and sigh in relief.

“Oh thank gods, Lucy, you just scared the shit outta me! hah!” You laugh.

“Really!?” Her eyes light up as if that’s a good thing, she looks excited.

All you can do is laugh a little.

When her food arrives all the platters take up the entire table and they have to bring a stand for the rest.

She eats really adorably, every bite she takes, she looks more and more excited, and each one is complemented by a cute “mm!” It’s infectious, and she shares her favorites, holding out her fork for you to take bites.

“Here! try this!” She holds her arm out to you, a powder sugar and fruit covered french toast bite. “And this one!” the food is still in your mouth when she hands you another bite of something, her eyes alight with joy, as you try to finish fast and accept the new bite.

She’s loving how obedient you’re being…

You have plenty of dishes to choose from, and she seems to hone in on the things you favor over the others, making sure you get the biggest portion of the things you like.

Once your both stuffed with possibly the best literal feast that you’ve had in months, she asks the waite staff for a bag to carry everything in. You never saw the receipt, and you’re happy not to.

“Do you normally do this kinda thing? with all the food?”

“Nope! hehe!” She giggles.

You fill your previously empty fridge with enough leftovers to eat for DAYS. and with real cafe food! not cheap ramen!! She made sure you’d be eating decently, rather than your typical cheap ramen.

“Hey Lu—” the second you turn away from the fridge she’s on you.

Lips crashing upon you, her body’s hot against yours. She’s grabbing at your hands and trying to pin them behind you. You aren’t fighting her. You feel her knee pressing against your bulge.

She bites your lip not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to send a pang of lovely pleasure through your bloodstream and into your growing member. You sigh into her mouth which she happily swallows up with a little moan.

She lets go of your hands but you keep them folded behind you, before you hear the sound of a jingling metal buckle.

She slips something thick around your neck and with a *clink* She pulls away, holding a leash that’s attached to your neck.

“Lu-Lucy! What is this??” You lift up a heavy, and very old looking ornate iron lock that’s connected to your collar.

You go to the bathroom and she follows you like an owner walking their dog. In the mirror you see that it’s a thick black leather, with a shiny rose gold buckle. “Lucy! Do you have the key?? G-Give it to me!” Your voice cracks, you didn’t agree to this!

“No can do~ Now be a good boy and get on the bed.”

You gulp as your dick twitches at her words… “Wh-what!?”

“I said: on the bed. Now, Y/N.”

You don’t know why, but you obey her, sitting on the edge of your mattress nervously.

“Good boy~,” she smiles and pats your head.

“Lucy-”

“Puppies don’t talk.”

“Wha-! Lucy I’m not—!!”

She yanks the leash wrapping the leather around and around her hand, and drags you back off the bed. The back of your neck burns as she does.

“Bad Boy.”

You swallow painfully and rub at your neck.

“Are you ready to be a good boy again now?”

You nod.

Lucy ties your leash around the leg of your bed, where you are, it’s taught so your only option is to get back on the bed, or stay on the wood floor. She pulls out a large pair of scissors, “Don’t worry, I’ll buy you new clothes Y/N!” her voice is chipper and it makes you more nervous.

She starts cutting off your clothes slowly, you feel the cool metal occasionally grazing you, and it makes you shudder.

You aren’t sure anymore how you got to this point.

Soon you’re in nothing but your underwear and she makes you get back on the bed. She retrieves another leather strip from her bag and returns to you, using it to tie your wrists together above your head.

“Such a good boy! I’m so proud of you!! And good boys get rewarded!” giddily she climbs over you on the bed, scissors back in hand.

*sniiiiiip*

Slowly, the last article of clothing is removed from you, and you’re left completely bare to her. It’s a little bit humiliating like this.

Her eyes are dark, not at all what you’re used to, yeah you’ve seen it before, but you never thought she’d be like this secretly!? But… Are you into it? Your dick is certainly saying you are. Wait… Didn’t you just read or watch something just like this?

Now that your cock is freed and cold, she gets over you and puts her hot, clothed pussy just against your head, you groan from the sudden shift in temperature, oh my gods, your dick wants to get inside and warm up so badly. It twitches under her. You’re eyes had closed and without you paying attention you hear the shears open again…

There’s no clothes left to cut—

“L-Lucy!?” The twin blades sit at the base of your cock, the metal presses up against your underside. “Lucy, please—”

“Be a good boy, and you won’t get hurt.”

“Lucy this isn’t funny!”

She presses the metal harder against you, indenting your sensitive skin. You struggle against the binds, but she tied them really tight!

“I’ll give you your reward still for being such a good boy today, and prove to you that you enjoy this.”

“Wha-” You start as she slips her panties out of the way and lowers herself, just your cock head entering her and that’s it. She holds herself there and struggles to breathe for a second, before shuddering over you.

You feel her pussy contracting trying to milk something that’s not even fully inside her yet. The scissors are still at your base otherwise you might’ve bucked up into her, but you remain laying still. She starts rotating her hips, teasing just your head longer. You whine and try to pull your wrists free, but they burn against the tightly wrapped leather.

She shimmies down a little at a time, gasping as she does, and once your fully inside her, she lifts her skirt for you to see her puffy blushing lips spread, and flat against your body. Your cock is swallowed up inside of her, it’s enough to— Wait, Her thighs, they’re covered in raised scars and pink bandages…

“Lucy…” You want to ask, or hug her… Or something. She reaches behind her and squeezes the scissors slightly pinching your cock’s skin, “Lucy!!” You gasp and this time, harshly buck up into her, knocking her around and she lets the scissors fall to the floor.

“Ahh!!” Her voice is strained, and your dick throbs inside her.

You take a breath, all the relief that instantly floods your body is so dizzying.

Her insides pulse around you, you know she’s cumming again, and you can’t take the sensation and cum yourself, thrusting your hips up as high as you can, “Ahhhhh!!!” She yells out as your load shoots deep inside of her.

“Thank you! Thank you thank you thank you!! thankyouthankyouthankuouuuu!!!!” she moves her hips around as her insides keep milking you, driving you mad!

Your struggling against your bindings again whining and writhing as she continues to torture you. “Lucy!! Lucy!!” You beg but to her it sounds like a chant of praise.

She goes harder, lifting and dropping herself onto you. your body feels tired now. She leans back holding herself up with your legs and at this angle you can actually see the base of your somehow still hard cock stretching her open, she’s whimpering and you can feel that she’s about to come again.

The sweat slicked to your skin finally allows you to slip free from the strap around your wrist, your hands are burning and bruised, you sit up as far as the leash allows and grab onto her.

You push her down onto you and force yourself up as hard as you can. You cum together, and spend a while just catching your breath.

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