#he wonders why I talk trash about myself

[sensitivegoblin]

Starting to think life is just a series of events that I fuck up

[strlvvr]

my best friends brother (is the one for me) - part three

i’m so excited for this series you guys aren’t ready

word count: 903 words

read part two here!

⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ୭ৎ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚ ⋆｡˚

i woke up with the sun shining into my face. i turned around to try to get some more sleep, only to roll into matt. i had forgotten that i had slept in his room with him. i moved away from him and watched his chest rise and fall, small snores coming from his mouth with every exhale. i stretched my arm out, grazing over his chest, letting myself wonder what it would be like if it were like this all the time. 

i watched as he slowly opened his eyes, moving his hands up to rub the sleep away from them. he turned over to face me with a goofy smile on his face.

“good morning.” he groaned as he stretched. i couldn’t helped looking at the skin peeking out from the hem of his shirt. 

my attention being drawn away from a knock on the door.

“did y/n leave last- nevermind.” nick said while opening the door.

“sorry, we ended up watching another movie and by the time it was over you were already asleep. i didn’t want to wake you up.” i said, almost defensively, while starting to get out of bed. 

“where’s my phone?” matt asked me, scrambling around him for it.

“oh, i put it over here with mine last night,” i grabbed the two phones handing him his, not before looking down at the screen lighting up. i recognized the wallpaper, it was a picture of us and his brothers from the last time we were in boston. one of few pictures we had taken that trip, he had his arms hugging my waist with his brothers next to us in a security camera. i smiled as i gave him his phone, getting up to go see what chris and nick were making for breakfast. 

the only way i can describe the smell in my nose is burnt. the closer i got to the kitchen the worse it smelt. i walked into the kitchen to see chris running around, like he was trying to hide the evidence of anything going wrong. 

despite the horrible smell, the food was surprisingly good. laid out on the table were eggs, slices of toast, bacon, sausage links, and waffles. it looked shockingly good, considering who cooked it. i grabbed a plate and started piling food onto it when i heard matt come out of his room. he walked right past me, grabbing a plate and walking to the table. i sat at an empty chair, thinking matt was going to sit next to me but he sat the furthest away from me. 

i half ignored the conversation, eating my food and wondering what was up with matt. he was keeping to himself more than usual and not acting himself. 

“you still with us y/n?” chris asked, finishing the food he just ate.

“oh yeah, sorry i’m in my own world,” i pushed the eggs around on my plate.

i can feel matt’s eyes on me as chris asks if i’m sure. i stood up and walked over to the garbage, scraping my food into the trash. i heard someone get up from the table and felt them behind me. 

“why’d you lie to him?” it was matt.

“i don’t know why you care.” i shrugged, trying to act like it doesn’t matter.

“of course i care, y/n,” he said in disbelief, “why wouldn’t i?”

i felt my heart drop but i just shook my head, walking away. 

୭ৎ୭ৎ୭ৎ

walking to my car, i felt a slight sprinkling of rain hit my face. disregarding it, i got in my car and starting driving home. 

halfway to my house i saw matt’s contact popping up on the screen in my car.

’matt!! is calling’  

i didn’t answer, half focused on the pounding rain on the road and half because i did not want to talk to him at the moment. after the ringing stopped, i turned up the music and kept driving, not being able to stop thinking about him.

‘matt!! sent you a message’

i ignored it.

‘matt!! sent you a message’

i grabbed my phone and shut it off.

turning down my road, the rain started to let up a little bit. i passed my driveway, not wanting to go home just yet. i circled my neighborhood for a few minutes before going home, dreading turning my phone back on. 

once i walked in, i immediately got in the shower, not bothering to turn my phone on. i needed five minutes to myself without him texting or calling me. i couldn’t stop the events of last night replaying in my mind. 

getting out of the shower, i started trying to decide what movie i should watch. changing into shorts and a big shirt, i got into my bed. i decided on watching shutter island, considering i was just ranting about it the night before. 

i decided to turn my phone back on, finding eleven messages and three missed calls from matt. 

‘are you okay?’

‘hello?’

‘y/n answer me please’

‘look it was raining pretty hard i just want to know if you’re okay’

“y/n’

‘i’m seriously getting worried.’

‘please just text me’

‘or just like a message.’

‘please.

‘i’m sorry’

‘i'm coming over’

the last message was sent at 11:26 a.m. i looked at the time and it was 11:47 a.m.

tag list:

@beersangel @whoseyouare @wh0schl0 @st7rnioioss @slutsformatt @h3arts4harry @matthewscherrypie @satvisfavetoodles @secret-sturniolo @mattsturniololoverr @blablablabla2525 @melanch0lybby @always-reading @bbernard-03

[nana-gumi]

thinking of you g.satoru

pairings: gojo satoru x fem! reader

cw: angst / comfort, failed marriage, having delusions/hallucinations, mental illness, self harm, naoya zenin (yes he's a warning), manipulation, no curses au, businessman! gojo, arranged marriage mentioned, mentions of abuse, trash family (as usual), suggestive ending! not proofread hehe

a/n: i based this au from katy perry's 'thinking of you' you can listen while reading! also currently obsessed with this blue-eyed king :'(

everything was perfect, your marriage with gojo satoru was already perfect, but then he suddenly wanted a divorce and you couldn't do anything about it. your parents ended up forcing you to marry a man from another powerful clan, naoya zenin.

gojo satoru was too perfect for you. that was your first thought when you married the man.

even though it was an arranged marriage, gojo satoru wasn't as bad as you thought he would be.

rumors says that he was ruthless, cocky, and he thinks too high of himself, to which is true, but gojo satoru has a side that only you knew, his wife.

everything was perfect, your relationship with gojo satoru was already perfect, but why did it end up him filing divorce?

when satoru told you about the divorce, you couldn't do anything about it anymore. you couldn't even ask him about it, not when satoru never came home for a week, leaving you alone to drown in your thoughts.

what pushed him to file a divorce? where you not enough or did he found someone better than you? you hoped it's the first one because you didn't want to see satoru happy with someone that isn't you.

when satoru came back, you didn't have a choice but to sign the papers.

not once did he talk to you, or explain everything to you. he just watched you sign the paper.

satoru sat across you as he played with the pen on his hand.

"here." you muttered with a hoarse voice as you pushed the folder infront of him and satoru only stared at the paper before closing it.

he stood up, fixing his tuxedo as he took the folder in his hand and turned around. but you wouldn't let him, not when he didn't explain everything to you. you didn't want a divorce in the first place.

"satoru." you called, standing up at the chair as well as he glanced back at you. "satoru.." you called again but this time, your voice was pleading.

satoru gulped the lump in his throat as he looked back infront of him and looked down on the ground.

"i don't want this, satoru." you said as you walked close to him. "say something please, why? what happened?" at this point, you couldn't stop anymore as you spilled every question that you've been keeping for the week that he was gone. "did you- did you find someone?" you asked, looking down on the ground as if you were ashamed of your question.

"i don't need you anymore," he said, but those simple words never failed to put an ache in your chest.

"what?" you said in disbelief.

"don't make me repeat myself." he said with a sigh.

it was silent for a moment and satoru was taken aback when you pulled him by his wrist.

he watched as you place your wedding ring on his palms.

"i don't think i can keep this." you said as you look at his blue eyes, hoping that he would take back everything.

"keep it." he said as you shake your head.

"it's expensive, right?" you said as you sighed deeply. "take care, satoru. our times together, i hope some of it were genuine and real." you said before leaving his penthouse.

-

i don't need you anymore. did satoru only agree to the marriage because he needed something from you? did he finally get what he wanted? but-

satoru did love me at some point, right? at least he did. you said to yourself as you hit your head with your hand, trying to remove the negative thoughts and forcing yourself to think of the positive ones. 

you wonder what satoru wanted from you? was it really from you or your family's business?  

you pinched yourself, hoping and praying that everything was just a dream, and you'll wake up with satoru beside you, kissing you, telling you how much you mean to him, unaware of your tears coming out of your eyes.

"you had one job! the gojo clan was already in our grasp, how could you let that man file a divorce! you're such a failure." your mother said but your mind was still left in your shared home with satoru, you were still processing the whole divorce incident as you stare at the ground, his last words playing inside your head like a broken radio. 

"what are you crying for!" she said, a scoff leaving her mouth. "i knew you were useless for this job, i should've let your sister marry that vicious man." you mother muttered as she massaged her temples. 

what job was your mother even talking about? you were opposed with their objectives when you married gojo satoru. they wanted the money and power, but you just wanted to be loved, which even satoru couldn't give you. maybe you really are a failure. 

you stayed in your dark room countless nights with your mind was somewhere and your heart? gojo satoru took it with him. he took your heart, and you were left with nothing. 

"satoru.." you mumbled, caressing the cold empty spot beside you, thinking that he was there, lying beside you with that toothy grin on his face.  

you smiled as you hugged his imaginary figure. you were going insane, creating an image of him in your mind to cope up. 

you hugged him as tight as you could but, in the end, it was just you and your cold pillow. 

"this is her?" naoya zenin said as he crossed his legs. "looks like she just got out of the jungle." he said, laughing at his own words. 

your mother laughs nervously as she forced you to stand infront of her. "i told you to get dressed!" she whisper-yelled on your ear before going back from forcing a laugh. "ah yes, this my youngest daughter, she's still not in her right mind. you know, that gojo satoru ended things with her." your mother said that caught the zenin's interest. 

"oh? gojo satoru, huh?" he said a smirk making its way to his lips. "fine, i accept your proposal." 

- 

"but mama! satoru and i are married!" 

"shut up! you're sick in the head." 

"no!" you said as you pushed her, her back hitting the couch as she was forced to sit down. 

"how could you push me!" she said, gripping your forearm as you whined in pain. "i'm selling you off to the zenin's! you better do your job better this time." she said as you shake your head. 

"satoru will be sad mama..." you mumbled as tears started to gather in your eyes. your mother can only scoff, convinced that you've hit your head and gone insane. 

- 

"satoru answer please." you cried. you already called him multiple times but all were left unanswered and yet you still refused to give up. "please.." you tried and tried, until the number blocked you.  

so this is where it ends.  

a curse left your mouth as you squeezed your hair with your fingers. 

"gojo satoru wasted a gem like you." naoya zenin said as he clicked his tongue, sliding his finger on your jaw to your lips. "it's his lost, darling." he said, giving your lips a peck. it was disgusting but you couldn't do anything about it as you let him. 

naoya kissed you but all you could think of was satoru. the way naoya hugs you, satoru's hugs were the most comfortable. his words were not as sweet as satoru's. everything naoya does to you, satoru could only be the person in your mind. 

the marriage was private, only your and his relatives were around to witness.

it's been a month and you're still hoping that satoru would suddenly appear and take you away, but as more months passed by, your starting to lose hope.

-

you cupped naoya's cheeks in your hands as you leaned your forehead against his.  

"satoru." you mumbled as you smiled and then a yelp left your mouth when you were pushed. 

"that's too cruel, (name). stop calling me satoru, don't compare me with that piece of garbage." naoya said, squeezing your cheeks with his fingers. "listen, gojo dumped you, even used you! he did not see the real you, he did not realize how precious you are, and it's me! only I saw it. forget about that trash, this is not about him."  

shut up! 

"okay, i will. sorry naoya." shut up! 

"yeah? that's it, clever girl."  

- 

"satoru!" you jolted awake from a nightmare as you looked around the room. 

"it's naoya, darling." 

"oh, s-sorry! i didn't mean-" 

"shh, it's fine."  

"i'm sorry naoya.." 

"like i said, it's fine." he said as he smirked at your helpless situation. "a kiss in exchange."  

- 

"come on, say it." 

"i love you.." you gulped the lump in your throat as you tried to get up from his lap, but he stopped you before you could even move. 

"hm?" he hummed, caressing your waist with his hands. 

"n-naoya." 

"say that again." 

"i love you, naoya." 

"there we go. i love you too." 

- 

"we hate him, right? he's our enemy." naoya said as you hummed in response, but that wasn't enough for naoya. "say it." 

"gojo satoru is a piece of trash." 

"right? he is." he said as he chuckled.

- 

"why did you hurt yourself?" naoya said as he caressed the fresh scars on your wrist. "see what that man does to you? he's poisoning your mind!" naoya cooed as he wiped the tears in your cheeks. "i'm here, you don't need him." 

you didn't expect to see satoru after the divorce several months ago at a party where all clans were gathered, enemies or allies, it doesn't matter. 

"if it isn't gojo satoru." naoya greeted, a smirk forming on his lips as the blue-eyed man scowled at him. naoya eyes shifted from the woman beside gojo satoru. "such a beautiful lady, your wife, new wife perhaps?" naoya said as the woman exchanged glances with gojo. 

"we're not-" 

"naoya?" your voice cuts off the woman's and naoya couldn't be happier for your right timing. 

"ah, meet my wife." he introduced, your eyes meeting with the blue ones. naoya thought it was entertaining to watch you and his enemy. he couldn't contain his smile as he watched gojo's eyes go widen, but then naoya's eyebrows furrowed when he saw how you looked at gojo satoru. 

you felt naoya's hand tightened on your waist. 

"h-hello, it was nice to meet you." you stammered, avoiding the curious blue eyes. 

"stop bothering me." he said, and your heart couldn't hurt more as he left, your eyes meeting the worried ones of the woman that was just beside him as she followed him. 

all your hope disappeared as you watched satoru leave the venue. 

"see? he's so rude."

- 

"come on, stop crying now. everyone would think we're fighting." naoya said. 

"i'm sorry." you cried, wiping your face with a tissue. 

"gojo satoru was so rude, right? he told you to stop bothering him. poor you." he said as he rubbed your back up and down with his palm. 

"i hate him..." 

"that's right! hate him!" naoya said with a clap of his hands. "he doesn't deserve you." 

- 

"gojo that's enough." the woman, who is his friend, shoko, said.  

"another glass please." satoru said. 

"drinking wouldn't do anything!" shoko scolded, taking the glass from satoru's hand. "i shouldn't have agreed with your request, gojo. you should've asked another woman, i'm a busy person too you know?" shoko said. 

"fuck, i want to kill that bastard." 

"why did even walked out that way? she got sad, i saw it." satoru gulped the whole glass in his mouth as he slammed it on the table.

"satoru, we should carry out the plan now. this is the only chance." 

"i don't want this, satoru." you said as you walked close to him. "say something please, why? what happened? did you- did you find someone?" you asked, looking down at the ground as if you were ashamed of your question.

"i don't need you anymore," i still do, i'm sorry.

god, no one knew how much he wanted to wipe those tears in your cheek, he wanted to take everything back, but he knew he couldn't. 

satoru cursed himself as he watched you leave, clutching the ring close to his chest.

-

you were calling him continuously and satoru couldn't have the right time to answer it. his father saw it and forced him to block your number.

just like you, satoru didn't want the divorce, but his father forced him saying that your family wasn't a help to their business.

satoru doesn't give a single fuck about the business, he wanted you, not the money.

satoru couldn't stop thinking of you for the past months after the divorce.

you told him your situation in your home, how your parents abused you as a kid. you told him you don't want to go back there anymore and satoru, he promised that he wouldn't let that happen again, but who knows what is happening inside your so-called home now that you were separated.

satoru threw every thing he could reach across his room. he didn't care if some of it were glass, but then he stopped when he get a hold of a frame. it was you and him on your wedding day.

he still remembered how awkward you acted that day.

"fuck, i miss you so much.. my love. i'm sorry." he mumbled, caressing your face in the picture as a tear left his eyes.

-

"suguru, you have a house in new york, right?"

"satoru, what crazy plan are you having in your head right now." suguru joked but noticed that his best friend was being serious. "what's up?" he asked.

"i'll buy it."

"what? why?"

"i'll- we'll run away."

"are you insane?"

"if it's for my wife, i am."

"satoru-"

"suguru, you won't get involved, i promise."

"it's not about that satoru, i'm worried for you and (name)."

"satoru, we'll meet at the parking lot. remember, don't let anyone see you." shoko said.

"i owe you and suguru, shoko." satoru said as shoko rolled her eyes.

"that's what friends do right? now go, i'll get your woman."

-

"hi!" shoko said as he sit beside you. she looked around, your husband looked busy talking with other businessmen.

"hi.. you're satoru's friend right?" you said. shoko was thankful you still remembered.

"i am. do you want to get some fresh air?" shoko suggested and you were hesitant at first before coming with her.

-

"where are we going?" you asked but she ignored you as he continued to pull you with her.

"sho-" you were cut off, there he was, standing infront of you.

you looked around and shoko wasn't there anymore.

"w-what? what are you-"

"(name)." satoru called as he held your hand but you were fast to retract it.

"don't-" you said as you took a step back.

"i'm here to take you back, (name)." satoru said, trying to reach you only for you to step back again.

"no, you can't.. you can't, he'll be mad!" you said and satoru's heart ached. "he'll hurt you, satoru!"

"he can't do that, come (name), let's run away." satoru said, finally embracing you.

"satoru, it's too late." you mumbled, tears gathering in your eyes. "i'm already married.."

"let's run away." he repeated. "i'm sorry, it took me a long time to get you, i was planning everything out." he said as he cupped your cheeks, your tears stopping at his thumb.

"but you said you don't need me anymore." your voice cracked and satoru hates himself for saying that.

"i'm sorry, i didn't mean it, i swear." satoru said as he brushed your hair with his fingers.

"really?" he nods as he leaned his forehead on yours.

"i love you, and i need you. let's run away, hm?"

"satoru, they will still look for us." you said as satoru tucked you on his arms.

satoru knew that, but for now, he'll indulge in this moment with you. he used one of their private jets to fly to another country.

"then we'll run away again. i have connections."

"what if they hurt us?"

"i will protect you."

"ok, i trust you."

"what happened here?" satoru asked as he saw the scars on your wrist.

"it's nothing."

"he's hurting you, huh?"

"no. satoru let's not talk about him, please?" you said as satoru's eyes shifted from your lips.

he gave it a peck as you tried to chase it when he pulled away.

you cupped his cheeks and forced him to kiss you as he deepened it.

satoru held you by your shoulders as he cornered you on your seat.

he pulled away as he cursed. he missed this, the taste of your lips.

"did he touch you?" satoru asked and you only kept quiet.

"i thought about you.." you murmured shyly.

"is that so? did he make you feel good?"

"no, only you can!" you exclaimed as he chuckled.

"don't you think they'll let us be together once i gave you a child?"

[akiranzee]

muzan x gn!reader who is literally like the very epitome of elegance. like so refined, elegant, polite, respectful and all that! no vulgar language, fancy way of speaking.. like just elegance impersonated.

⋆.ೃ࿔*:･ MUZAN WITH ELEGANT S/O!!

───────────── ♡ ─────────────

✧ it annoys him and amuses him all at the same time.

✧ why? because there will always be one prick in the world who’d be so opposed to you, saying you’re weird and stuff, and your response would just smile and say “we’re unique individuals after all”. ✧ so yeah, he hates how you’d smile about it and likes when you piss the person off more, acting all chill like that. ✧ other than that, he also doesn’t like it when you answer him briefly, like, when he suggested you’d eat at this restaurant and that, you’d simply nod and smile, in which he hated because he wants to hear your own thoughts, your own words, your own voice. ✧ it also makes him wonder how you — not even of old age yet, could speak so knowledgeable, and act so mature. ✧ more or less, people your age would still be fooling around, and say nonsense things. but you — muzan swears, you’re just so different even with all of them combined. ✧ instead of saying, “can you pass the sauce to me?” with a sweet voice, instead you’d say, “would you mind passing the sauce to me?” with a refined voice, and of course, with your signature smile. ✧ and if you’re talking to someone, and you didn’t catch a word they said, instead of just saying, “what?” you say, “i’m sorry, may you repeat it one more time?” ✧ and if you accidentally bump into someone, instead of saying a casual “oh! i’m sorry” you instead say; “oh! i apologize. please forgive me.” with stopping in your tracks and facing them with an apologetic and concerned look in your face. ✧ others won’t even bother to wipe their stained lips with sauce or whatever, even asking their significant others to wipe it off for them, but you — you’d always bring a tissue or a handkerchief everywhere you go, and wiping the stain off your soft lips, making muzan wish you’d just let him wipe it off at least once. ✧ but sometimes, he also likes breaking you off your elegant state, loving the look of your nose scrunched up when you see or smell blood. it just disgusts you so much. ✧ aside from all that, you also have an impolite side of you, which is when there’s a thief, you’d simply raise your leg up and trip them, having the others chasing them catch them. ✧ someone wants to harrass/take advantage of you? no worries, you’d “accidentally” push them away so hard, that they stumble down, as you mutter a soft, sarcastic “sorry” and walk away as if nothing happened. ✧ muzan sometimes wonders just how much patience you have to simply smile there while a person is literally trash-talking you, in which he, by the way, politely tells to fuck off. ✧ sometimes, muzan wishes that you’d just get out of your elegant state and cling to him sometimes. ✧ and lastly, you’re a very independent woman, that sometimes, when you both hang out together, he’d just feel really useless, and you’d be the first and last person to ever make him feel that way.

───────────── ☆ ─────────────

a/n: i’m not elegant myself so uhh🤐.

© akiranzee || do not steal, plagiarize, or repost my works without my permission.

[tbgkaru-woh]

100 Dialogue prompts

Trying this out (feel free to tweak out any grammatical errors) so writers who are bored, have at it! ♥ Mix of Fluff, Angst and Smut

“I don’t see you that way”

“I will just do as I’m told. As I’ve always done”

“Have you never ridden a bike/horse before?”

“You don’t have to be so…formal”

“What happened to us?”

“Good things don’t happen to me”

“Interested in palm reading?”

“Bowing to you felt right”

“There, let me help you.”

“Next time, listen to yourself and not me”

“Why do you want to get in trouble so badly?”

“It’s him/her…isn’t it?”

“Are you keeping it?”

“Good to see a familiar face”

“You never had to ask me anything, let alone beg”

“Oh you again?!”

“I need to take you somewhere”

“With you gone, everything went wrong”

“Insufferable, see you at dinner”

“I wasn’t kissing you, I was saving your life!”

“You did all this already, why not finish the job?”

“I will look for you”

“I couldn’t see anything, I couldn’t breathe”

“You knew about it?”

“I will atone for what he/she did”

“You need to start having some faith.”

“Say what you want, I know what I’m feeling is right”

“It’s okay, you will move on. We will move on.”

“How much do you miss him/her? And what if you didn’t have to?”

“Focus on my hands, on my voice…”

“Perhaps you need to be reminded where you belong”

“I was fine having a non-sexual relationship with you, but instead I’m having non-relationship sex with him/her.”

“I wanted to do it for you and in hindsight it was a terrible idea”

“I’ve been inside him/her more than outside him/her”

“Don’t ask me with ‘please’, you’re paying me”

“Oh why won’t you just die already”

“Sometimes I wonder for how long have you wanted his/her heart and if you will ever stop”

“Filthy cheater, we go again!”

“Didn’t you pay your debt already?”

“I can’t get sick/injured.”

“You act like you’ve never been defeated”

“Diamond thrown into the trash still has the value of a diamond”

“I got engaged”

“All this was decided for me, I had no choice”

“I’m beginning to think not even the jail guards/cops want you around, given how many times they’ve let me bail you out”

“You, sir/madam, should watch your alcohol intake”

“I’ve been denying everyone, you’re not special”

“I’m not looking for a romance”

“Isn’t that immoral enough to tempt you?”

“We’re two sides of the same fucked up coin”

“That’s what I like to see, you are your parents’ best indeed!”

“You have nothing to lose right?”

“Oh I can’t wait to hear you sing”

“Anything you’d like to add to the conversation?”

“Hi.”

“You need to stop making me pick you up in places someone may see”

“I thought I was a puppeteer pulling the strings but instead I was a back seat audience”

“I want names, I want addresses, I’m gonna make them pay.”

“You know where to find me if you ever want me again.”

“My mother is visiting in like 5 minutes”

“Is it that, or is it because you’re in love with me?”

“Not being able to reciprocate has been the hardest part of my life”

“Did you kill someone?”

“Envious of my youth, are we?”

“The others may have gotten away…”

“I found you. Found you looking like you didn’t want to be found”

“Did we use to be a thing?”

“I can fix this. I can fix this…”

“Weird question, are you a supernatural being? Be honest”

“We should have never played Gods”

“Must you be so harsh with me all the time?”

“What did all these men/women do to deserve you?”

“We have a reputation to uphold”

“May I have this dance?”

“I am a bad influence on you!”

“Let’s make history”

“Who the hell wants to live forever.”

“Feeling any different?”

“Time waits for no one”

“You got your happy-ever-after. And for all I know, it’s because I didn’t.”

“Try that again and you’re gonna lose it”

“Didn’t I say one of these days you’re gonna be the death of me?”

“Do you know what my answer was?”

“You look pathetic.”

“Almost didn’t recognize your voice when it’s not yelling at me”

“I often find myself talking to those no longer here as well”

“Excuse me, this is not a buffet”

“I don’t suspect you because I’m the one who put him/her in the ground”

“You look like someone who likes a good gamble”

“I am poison”

“Feel free to stay as long as you need”

“You don’t need to understand, just be a good little thing”

“I’m gonna need your driver’s license, your ID and your phone number please~”

“Say my name”

“You…are telling the truth”

“Is that why you did that? Back there?”

“Stop reading my mind”

“I can teach you”

“How can you laugh?”

“Pretty pictures. I don’t have any”

“Heaven may fall, but __ can’t die.”

[simpleeindulge]

An Itch to Scratch🔞

Info: fem/reader x Zoro, MDNI, Mature, implied masturbation, cunnilingus, vaginal intercourse, cock warming, enough plot to get to the point🔞

Context: You and Zoro have the same issue and come to the same conclusion.

The feeling was both unbearable and embarrassing. The unique situation made Y/N wonder if this is how Sanji felt most of the time when Nami gave him the cold shoulder. Why it was worse now, she couldn't guess, but she needed a release.

The two faithful toys Y/N kept clean and ready failed right when she was about to peak. The first toy just took forever, and the second was only half-charged and died right at her peak. Y/N wanted to scream at the loss of sensation and flung her toy at the wall.

"Useless!" She cried as she picked up the broken toy and dumped it in the trash. Y/N then went to the ship's bathing room for a long shower at full power.

This is hell, pure hell, Zoro thought as he scratched his scalp red.

He couldn't explain what was going on with him. His usually trained body was not cooperating with him. 'The Need', as he referred it to himself, had appeared that morning. He dealt with it as usual, like an adult, whenever 'The Need' arrived.

Only this time, it wouldn't go away. Oh, he would get his release, but not even two hours later, 'The Need' would be back, stronger than ever. Zoro couldn't explain it. Not even when he was a teenager did he need to jerk off this much. After jerk-off number three, Zoro ignored the 'The Need' when it appeared an hour later.

Training, just think of it like training. A form of self-discipline.

He then hissed as his hard, throbbing cock rubbed against the fabric of his pants the wrong way as he walked to the bathhouse on the ship. Maybe nearly drowning in a tub of ice water would make this torture stop.

Zoro had just turned a corner when Y/N nearly crashed into him.

"Oh! Sorry," She said, sounding moody.

Zoro noted her wet hair and flushed skin. Worse, he could smell the soap she used mixed with her own scent. Zoro heard himself swallow and covered his face to keep from inhaling more of her alluring amora.

"Are you alright, Zoro?"

"Fine." He replied gruffly.

Y/N sighed and was about to leave when a thought occurred to her. She grabbed Zoro by the opening of his robe and dragged him with her.

“Hey! What-”

Zoro stopped his protest as he studied Y/n's body. She was tense in her back and shoulders as if something was weighing her down. If she had just taken a shower, shouldn't it have gone away?

Maybe she had a problem, he thought, and hoped it would be enough to distract him from his issue if she was planning to tell him. He let Y/n take him to a storage closet and waited for her to talk.

“Do you remember that conversation we had at the bar about four weeks ago?”

Zoro glanced up and hummed as he thought about what she was asking. He made an annoyed sound when the memory wouldn't come to him.

“That's okay, you will in a second. Zoro, I need you to have sex with me.”

His dark eye widened, and just as Y/n said, the conversation came back to him in a flash. It started with Sanji chasing after a busty barmaid and ended with breakfast being late the following day.

Zoro had made some comment that Y/N overheard. Somehow, the pair made a pack to come to each other if they needed relief. But that was supposed to be a joke, right?

The hard cock in his pants didn't care if it was a joke or not and throbbed at the offer.

“Huh?!” Zoro said as his dick screamed at him to shut-up and take Y/n’s offer.

“Look, I wouldn't ask you this if I wasn't desperate. I usually can handle this myself, but my body is being a literal bitch to me right now.” Y/n explained as her cheeks flushed with embarrassed heat.

Zoro's face also flushed since he never expected a trusted crewmate to ask him such a thing.

“What do you mean you can’t handle it?!”

“I mean, I've tried and failed. I need something else! I need…” Y/n cut herself off and looked away.

This was a bad idea. Worse, she pulled Zoro into her issue. She respected the swordsman and trusted him, but this was so inappropriate.

Y/n bit her lip and said to him, “Sorry, forget what I said. It was stupid of me to ask.”

She then moved past him with her eyes lowered to the ground. His hand shot out and grabbed her arm.

“If we do this, we keep it to ourselves. And we don't make a habit of it.”

Y/n's head snapped to Zoro. She was ready to say he didn't need to give in to her request or feel obligated to help when Zoro untied his red sash and dropped his robe. God help her; her mouth practically watered at the bulge in Zoro's pants.

“Oh,” She said dumbly. “Wait, how long-?”

“All day,” Zoro huffed as he crossed his arms. “All fucking day.”

It was her turn to swallow as the air around them suddenly thickened. She wanted to move closer to Zoro and feel for herself how hard his cock was under his pants. Instead, she breathed slowly through her nose and out her parted lips. She needed to think. To evaluate the situation.

What I need, her body and brain said in unison, is to put that cock in my-

"Y/N."

Y/N's eyes flicked back up at Zoro. A smooth smirk played at his lips, and why not? He had something she wanted, and they both knew it. She could understand how it would stroke his pride to see how her breathing had changed and how her eyes darkened with lust.

The fact was, she had something he wanted, and Y/N could see the change in him as well.

“Please, Zoro. Just this one time.” She said in a heated whisper.

Fine, Zoro thought as he moved closer to Y/N. He picked her up and sat her on top of a crate. They could be adults about this and fuck like the crazed animals their instincts wanted them to be. Y/n blinked up at him as he pushed up her skirt and pulled down the lace panties.

I should be embarrassed. I should stop this. I should...

Y/N's mind stopped as Zoro dipped his head down, one hand wrapping around his throbbing cock. As he went down, Y/N simultaneously spread her legs and leaned back, careful not to topple over, but the crate was long enough to accommodate her.

Zoro released a long, appraising breath that made Y/N shiver and close her eyes.

"What a needy woman you are, Y/N. You're already wet." Zoro's voice rumbled.

Y/N cried out as she felt a smooth, wet tongue slide up her folds and flick at her clit. She squirmed on the crate and tried to close her legs as more of a reaction then a rejection.

Zoro slapped his hands on her inner thighs, making Y/N yelp in surprise. Zoro forced her bent legs down in a frog-like position to open her up completely to him.

He grinned up at her.

"I doubt it'll solve your problem, but I want to give this a try."

Y/N's breath stuttered, and then, her head was whipped back as Zoro dug on in. She wondered where he had learned. Her second thought was being grateful she had bathed. The last was purely worshiping her new god, Zoro's tongue.

"Fuck...Oh...fuck...Zoro..."

Zoro chuckled into her as he licked and sucked, added his fingers to throw her off, or when she dared to mention "god" in the mix. He edged her close, to the very fucking edge and then pulled away. The near-angry/desperate scream she made had him laughing and smirking down at her.

"ZORO! THE FUCK!"

"Easy there, pussy cat." He grinned as he moved over her, his cock in hand. "We're doing this together."

Y/N huffed as she panted. Her eyes were blown with lust, and her cheeks flushed as she gave him an impatient look. He chuckled again and rubbed the round head over her clit, then pressed it against her folds.

She hated the needy whimper that left her, but dammit, she needed to come already!

"Zoro...Please..."

The smirk was gone as Zoro felt a bead of sweat running down his near his ear and neck. He wasn't inside her yet, but he knew she would be warm and snug. Just one thrust and things would change between them.

"Y/N, you sure-"

"Yes! Please, god damn you! Hurry up before I dry up and go to Sanji-"

The cook's name was barely out of her mouth when Zoro pulled her closer and bucked his hip. The feeling was painful and delicious as her eyes rolled back and her body arched.

"OH! Fu-"

"You deserved that; I hope you know that."

Y/N laughed and smirked at Zoro, "Yeah, I do. But worth it."

"You brat."

Zoro then did something Y/N didn't expect, he kissed her. She accepted the kiss as her arms and legs went around him. What followed was 20 minutes of mind-blowing rutting.

Zoro wanted longer, but she was too wet and hot for him not to lose it just 6 minutes in! Worse, he had a feeling this wasn't going to be a one-time thing.

He held Y/N's wrist down as he let his world crumble as she squeezed the life out of him as she came. The sweet mewling sounds Y/N made his ego roar as his cock twitched side her.

His sweat-covered forehead rested on the crook of her neck, and he breathed in her sweet-smelling skin. Finally, his body felt satisfied enough not to bother him for a while, and he yawned as he felt ready to nap.

"Did you just yawn?" Y/N giggled as she pushed against him, but his body refused to budge.

"Need to nap," Zoro simply grunted as he wrapped his arms around her soft body.

"Zoro, your cock is still in me."

"Leave it. It's not hurting you."

"That's not the point. Zoro, get-"

Zoro then snored, and Y/n sighed as she wondered how long of a nap he would need before he let her go. She then yawned and prayed that her back wouldn't be sore later as she fell asleep under him, feeling satisfied at last.

[athenamikaelson]

hii i was wondering if you could do a imagine where the reader is klaus daughter and she is a tribrid like hope and her boyfriend died or something like that (you can change it idc) and she turns her humanity off and she is all badass and he tries to turn it back on also i love your blog

Klaus Mikaelson x Daughter!Reader

Summary- Reader is Klaus’ daughter and also a tribrid, her boyfriend gets killed which results in her flipping the switch. Klaus is there to get her to turn her humanity back on. Also, I didn’t know whether to add Hayley as her biological mother so I’m going to leave that up to you guys and just write the character as someone who had a mother-daughter LIKE relationship. Hayley is also still dead, RIP Queen. 

Word Count- 1.6k

A/N- Thank you for the request! And thank you for the compliment!!! <3

Warnings- Blood, Reader has no filter and no cares, mentions of death and killing, body parts, alcohol, swearing, Klaus and the reader have unresolved issues, Reader digs on Hope. (I love you Hope, no one can make me hate you.)

Blood drips down my lips as I throw the body of some rando onto the floor of the dusty-ass bar I’m in. I bring my hand up, wiping the stray crimson liquid off my chin, and bring it back to my lips. I sigh escapes my lips at the taste. Feeling a moment of euphoria; well technically as much euphoria as someone with no emotions can experience.  

I catch the sound of the bar door opening from behind me and turn prepared to kill whomever decides to walk in. Unfortunately, the biggest earsore decided to grace my presence. If I could feel annoyance at this moment, I would. I let out a sigh of annoyance as I stared at my father. He stands at the entrance of the bar and casts a glance at the piles of bar patrons, or more truly the bar patrons' body parts, that are scattered across the floor. 

“Well, it appears you’ve been busy.” He says with a smirk and slight tilt of his head. He kneels and picks up the head of a man by his hair and glances at me with a raised eyebrow. 

“You’ve been hanging out with your Uncle too much appears,” he says as he tosses the head back down as if it’s trash. 

I just raise a shoulder as I walk behind the bar and pour myself a glass of bourbon. 

“Says the man with the nickname, Klaus the Mad.” I shoot back as I down the brown liquor. 

“Touche, Little Moon. I do have to say your,” My father pauses as he glances at the bodies around the bar, “habits, definitely come from my side of the family.” He appears to smirk in fatherly approval and then quickly covers it up with a shake of his head. 

“Your Uncle Elijah wouldn’t approve of this you know?” He says as he reaches for the bourbon bottle. I watch as he pours himself a drink but before he can grab the glass I speed to grab it. I stare at him as I down the drink and then give him a thoughtful look, “Well why doesn’t he tell me that himself?” My father’s smirk drops and we stare at each other for a moment before I lean back onto the counter and raise my hand in a matter-of-fact movement, “Oh, right. He can’t. Because he’s like dead.” My father just rolls his eyes.

“You done?” He asks me with a look of disapproval only a father could master. I stare at him for a moment, tapping my chin and pretending to be in deep thought.

“Well I mean there’s like countless other dead relatives I could bring up,” I bring my right hand up and start counting on my fingers, “Josh, Hayley, Cami, Jackson.” I ponder some more thinking of all the other people that have died because of my family. 

“Your boyfriend. Don’t forget to add him to the list.” I freeze for a split second as I hear my father’s words. I look at him and he’s staring at me with a knowing look. It takes me only another fraction of a second before I let out a laugh. 

“I’m not turning it back on,” I tell him as I cross my arms and lean back against the counter. He stares back at me and taps his chin in the same way I had done moments before. 

“I have no idea what you’re talking about, turn what back on, Little Moon?” He says with a tone that makes me want to stick a white oak stake into his heart. 

“Let me guess, Hope calls you crying to Daddy that her sister is going off the rails and hurting and killing people and needs to be stopped. Even though like a month ago she was going around telling everyone, “I’m the big scary tribrid I can’t be killed” and then goes and kills our friends?” I say in a matter-of-fact tone at my sister’s hypocrisy. 

My father lets out a sigh as he goes to walk behind the bar next to me, he comes to stand next to me and I subconsciously take a step away resulting in my father stopping and staring at me. 

“Y/N, Hope regrets everything she did and only wants you to know that turning your switch off is only a temporary fix.” I pretend to put a small smile on myself before dropping it and laughing in my father’s face.

“God Dad, you’d do a killing at a TED talk, maybe next you can tell a group of teenagers with anxiety to just “chill out”  and that it’s all in their heads. Also, why the fuck did Hope get you to do her dirty work, why can't the big bad tribrid come and face me herself?” 

“OK first, I have no idea what the bloody hell a TED talk is. And second, your sister called me worried and we both thought it would be a better decision that I come and talk to you. We both know that you have the emotional capacity of a Mikaelson. Just like your father.” He says with a small smile on his face. 

“I remember once when you were 11 Kol told you that he wouldn’t teach you a certain spell because he said it was too advanced for you at that age. In retaliation, you went behind his back, stole the spell, and tried your hardest to do it. But as much as I hate to give your Uncle Kol any praise and I deny this if you ever tell him, Kol knows too much about spells and witch stuff so he was right about the spell being for a higher age level.”

I stand there remembering the exact story he’s retelling. 

“No, it wasn’t.” I deny. He stares at me and raises his eyebrow.

“You caught your hair on fire, all of it burned off and Hayley had to buy you a wig. The wig was also an atrocious purple color.” 

I just stare at him for a second and then nod remembering that the purple wig really was a horrible decision. For a split moment, I felt a light feeling in my chest at the memory but as quickly as I felt it I pushed it away. 

“Let that feeling in, Little Moon,” he tells me as he reaches his hand out to touch my arm, but in a split moment, I grab his arm and push it back to a breaking point and push him away speeding to the edge of the room away from him. 

“Don’t even try it, Dad, giving me a funny childhood story isn’t going to make me instantly turn it back on. One funny story doesn’t amount to all the other shit that went on,” I look at him in anger, “Do you remember why Hayley had to be the one to buy me the wig and not you?” My father’s face falls and goes to say something but I stop him. 

“Hayley had to do it because you weren’t there. You. Weren’t. There. You had to hear this story from Hayley’s letters to you. Letters you never responded to. Just like the phone calls you never responded to me. Waiting by the phone every birthday, waiting for my father to call me, or watching the other girls go to the Daddy daughter dances while my father is across the world killing innocent people. So don’t for a second try to doting father act. I have every right to want a break for one second in my fucking life. Y/B/N dying was just the cherry on top of the fucked up ice cream that is my life.” I finish yelling at him as he stares at me with noticeable regret and heartbreak in his eyes. I watch as he picks up his hand and goes to reach out to me but drops it once I flash my tribrid eyes at him in warning. 

“I know I wasn’t there for most of your childhood and I will always regret that,” My dad looks down at his hands and for the first time in my life I see the most feared man in the world look as little and humane as a mortal man, “but I’m here now Y/N. And I’m not going anywhere. You can flash your eyes at me, bite, and yell at me, even threaten me but I’m not going anywhere. I’ve lived a long time and have seen many people go through what you’re going through Little Moon. And I know you’re hurting and I know I’ve left you before and I will spend forever making up for that. And right now you need your family and, I’ll follow and annoy you until you’re ready to flip that switch. Always and forever, My Little Moon.”

When my father is done with his monologue I place another solemn look on my face and walk over to him and give him a small smile. My father seems to lighten up at my approach and goes to meet me but as he comes to pull me into a hug I speed behind him and snap his neck dropping his dead body onto the ground. His body blends with all the other dead people that are already scattered around the bar. 

“You can take your Always and Forever and shove it down your throat,” I say to his dead body as I walk out of the bar.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

aita for avoiding my husband on purpose, like, all the time? my husband (m36) and i (f34) have been married for almost 10 years (anniversary in a few months). we have 3 kids (m10, f8, f1) and he works full time while i stay at home. even before we got married i didnt really have friends other than him, and i always had a hard time finding excuses to get out of the house. frequently, he gets to hang out with his buddies who he also works with, and ever since we had kids he's always going out and leaving me home alone even when hes not at work just to idk. hang out at bars and pretend we don't exist. well lately ive been making time for myself to go out when the kids are at school (my youngest is pretty well behaved so i just take her with me instead of paying a babysitter) and i had managed to get kinda friendly with some of the wives of my husbands coworkers (theyre all members of the same union, so we see each other at those functions every once in awhile). i thought it was all going well and i was having fun and enjoying getting to be social for once, but about 2 weeks ago, the whole family was invited out for lunch (a picnic type thing) with his buddies from work's families. all was going well and for the most part even the kids were having fun, but then my husband got absolutely fucking trashed for no reason. none of the other guys were acting like that, and we've had conversations about him not doing that sort of thing, but he NEVER listens. he's always acting like this, but usually i dont have to see when its in public. well he embarrassed me so fucking much. he was trying to start fights, messing up his clothes, and wouldn't listen to me at all. just in his own world as always. i should've known because its been a decade of this, but i could have sworn it wasn't this bad before. he wasn't like this when we dated you know? so we got home and i was just. grossed out and annoyed. i slept on the couch and pretty much ever since then, i haven't been talking to him. i got a text from one of the ladies saying that a wednesday hangout thing i had been invited to had been canceled, but i pretty much KNOW 100% that it wasn't, and that they just don't want to be associated with me now. the kids don't really seem bothered by the tension around the house (i think its sort of normal to them since hes frequently not around anyways). i wouldn't be near as annoyed if there wasn't a part of my brain telling me "he did it on purpose". i know that's just how he acts but i could SWEAR its almost like he just doesnt want me to have friends. he doesn't want to hear about it, he just wants me THERE at home, watching the kids and existing solely for his convenience. i used to consider divorce, before we had our youngest. but i haven't had a job since high school, and i couldnt put the burden of asking for help on my sisters. they hate him, but i couldnt ask them for that support. and i dont even know what the kids would think, i cant do that to them. but yesterday, my husband brought it up (cornered me in our room pretty much) and asked why i was ignoring him. what if he really didnt know why? i TOLD him, but its like he forgot or just expects me to be "over it" by now. all i wanted was just this one thing, to HAVE FRIENDS, have that time away from being just "mom" and do what i want. he gets to do that so why cant i? or AT LEAST he could put some more effort into being around and doing things as a family? but i still wonder if im being the asshole, for giving him the cold shoulder for this long. he didnt have a happy childhood or good examples for parents so maybe he just thinks this is normal? i never asked because i assumed he knew it wasn't. and he does seem like, disappointed that i wont come to bed. maybe ive been driving him off and that's why he doesnt like to come home? idk at this point, im at a loss. aita?

[grimsonandclover]

inspired by @artdcnaldson

He Might Not Be the Best, But He Beat the Best.

My chat with Patrick Zweig, the man rumored to be responsible for tennis player Art Donaldson's sudden retirement. There's more to the story than meets the eye, though. By Grimson Clover PUBLISHED: NOV 13, 2019

Patrick Zweig, a man of both few and many words. He’s shaking my hand eagerly as we meet at a familiar spot for him: the same tennis court he played on two months ago against the legendary Art Donaldson.

We’re in New Rochelle, and if you’ve never heard of it, don’t worry because I hadn’t either (it’s a suburb in New York City, in case you were wondering). We sit on fold-out chairs by the net– the very one Art Donaldson soared over at that now iconic match, Patrick stunned with arms wide open and catching him. We all gasped, right?

Despite the steadily declining temperatures, it is November in New York, Patrick Zweig presents himself before me in a pair of plaid, red and gray, knee-length shorts to pair with a black quarter-zip sweater. An interesting combination I point out to him, and he gives me a good and friendly laugh. “My closet is ninety percent shorts, five percent jeans, five percent sweats.”

Clover Grimson Sweater from The Gap; shorts from Old Navy; shoes by New Balance.

“No sponsors? Most athletes I talk with are covered head to toe in logos like walking billboards.” Surely enough, his clothes are bare of any obnoxious or out-of-place brand insignia. He gives me another good chuckle and a shake of his head, and I’ve never felt better about myself. “No, no. I used to– earlier in my career– have a few sometimes. Not nowadays though, haven't gotten any emails yet!”

Some readers may be wondering why I’m sitting here today with this seemingly random tennis player. Though he’s undoubtedly skilled, and won the Phil’s Tire Town challenger against tennis god and heartthrob Art Donaldson (occasionally referred to as Mr. Tashi Duncan, his wife and coach, by some fans), he’s also only ranked 227th in the world compared to Donaldson’s impressive place at 13th. They’re worlds apart, and yet Patrick won and Art announced his retirement to the world last week.

“It’s not so shocking.” Patrick reasons to me, one well-loved New Balance sneaker resting on top of the other as he gets comfortable in his chair. “The retirement, I mean.” He adds quickly with a sly smirk, and I begin to wonder if that’s really all he meant. I push him to elaborate, and that smirk of his grows even wider. He doesn’t want to explain further, but he lets me know that he knew it was coming. Something about him knowing Art like that.

He asks if I smoke (I don't) as he pulls a pack of blue Camels. Athletes are meant to treat their bodies like sacred temples, but he’s far from the first I’ve met who shared his vice.

Initially, I was trying to interview the current topic of our conversation. Unfortunately for me, my email was simply replied to with: “Thank you for the invite, but Art and Tashi Donaldson are declining any press and interviews at the moment as they focus on their family.” When I turned to his opponent, I got a response almost right away. Some might think in an act of desperation or want for attention, and to trash talk the man he beat, but I don’t get that impression when I speak with Patrick. He’s almost hesitant to speak about Art, only giving away bits and crumbs of info for my journalistic fingers to scramble and grasp at. Patrick tells me how they went to the same tennis academy as kids, a boarding school of sorts. “Mark Rebellato Tennis Academy,” he says with an air of nostalgia. "It's in Florida, we were roommates."

Perhaps it's because I'm personally not a tennis mega-fan, but I was unaware that the two knew each other previously, let alone went that far back. I ask him what it was like, and he tells me stories of late-night pranks amongst the boys' dorms, first crushes and first injuries, and intense coaches. "It was great, truly. I'd never trade those years for anything." Patrick concludes along with his cigarette. "Art was a little dork back in those days, but you'd never be able to tell looking at him now." He confesses to me with a chuckle, and he's right-- you wouldn't. I struggle to picture the man before me any bit dorkish, either. When I ask him if he knew Tashi Donaldson (née Duncan), a former tennis star before a terrible knee injury in 2007 and now renowned coach that players kill for a chance to be in the same room as, as well, and he shrugs. "I've talked to her once or twice."

He refuses to talk about her further than that, and we move on to the match itself. From what I know, Art Donaldson was a wildcard entry coming in last minute. "I had no clue he was gonna be there. Chance encounter, I guess." Patrick tells me as we walk around the court and surrounding lawn. He's lit a second cigarette and it dangles from his lips as he speaks. I'm about to ask him about how it felt to suddenly find out he was going to compete against a U.S. Open winner at a place like Phil's Tiretown, but he was already ahead of me. "When I found out, which was the morning before, I was a little shocked. Not really the kind of thing you'd expect a guy like him to be at."

For good reason. Art has been to Wimbledon, won a Juniors title at the US Open in 2006 (With Patrick, actually. They were doubles partners), and later again in 2017. He's rumored to have a room just for his countless trophies, though that's a rumor his wife dispelled in an Architectural Digest video last year. When asked why he joined the challenger, Art Donaldson simply stated he needed the confidence. Fan theories online suggest this lack of confidence and losing the challenger led to his retirement announcement, though no official comment has been made about why.

I ask Patrick about his plans regarding his career. He's young, only thirty-one, but that's retirement age in tennis. He stops under a tree, and with the afternoon sun filtering through the leaves onto his face, I almost forget he's not actually a male model. "I'm trying to find a good coach, and I think I've found one. I don't plan on retiring until they stop letting me onto the court."

[nozunhinged]

I finally managed to put my overall thoughts about Playboyy into words and hoooooo boy do I have a lot to say.

I watched the mdl ratings go down, the blatant hate towards the plot, the actors, the scenes, the sex. There was nothing that wasn't torn apart about this series and yet I wasn't phased for a second and I kept wondering why because usually get very passionate about defending the things I love.

And then I realized that this series is the cinematic embodiment of a very lonely path that I've been walking for decades and I am already very, very used to the shame around it.

Sex is not just my special interest, I also had the privilege to grow up with excellent sex education (thanks parents) and on top of that I never struggled with my (pan)sexual identity. Sex plays a significant role in my life. But I learned VERY quickly that I should keep this to myself if I don't want to be ostracized or bullied.

"You're autistic AND you like sex? You like porn? What the fuck is wrong with you??? That's impossible."

And all the comments I read about playboyy are exactly the same just in different fonts. Ew sex. Ew kink. Ew porn. Ew sex work. Sex can't have storytelling, plot, it's just for shock value. We all read it.

And sadly it's a very accurate representation of the role sex plays in our society. Which - ironically - playboyy exactly is about.

Playboyy is a visual collection of all the experiences of lives and people in which sex plays a significant role - even the lack thereof (looking at you zouey and all you lovely aces).

It's a collection of very important social commentary, with all the characters, sets, plots and visuals as a medium. Because this way, the points they make come across even stronger and draw out all the emotions they want us to feel - which is in the rarest cases, pure arousal. Because this is, in fact, storytelling. Even if many don't want to hear it.

Telling stories about sex is so stigmatized and shunned, it only has the tiniest place to exist freely. Just like sex itself. Every sex worker, sex educator, sex therapist, everyone who has a profession that deals with sex will tell you about it. The shame. The misunderstanding. Look at the state of sex work and porn in the world. It tells you everything you need to know.

And it's happening in the middle of the "modern" western society - Yes I'm talking about you, UK and I can't not plug this here:

*btw I am not a sex worker I'm just very passionate about letting people not just live their lives but giving them a CHOICE to do what they want or don't want to do

I existed in this tiny place for decades now and I got really comfortable in my tiny lil corner, but to see a show like this go "mainstream" talking about all the topics that tickle all the knowledge I collected over the years feels so amazing. And I can tell you, all you lil smartass purists, everyone involved in this show doesn't care an inch what you think, just like me. We're used to it, believe me.

I could go on for ages about how carefully all these topics of the show are treated but what I actually want to say is that I find it incredibly ironic that a show that depicts the struggles and stigmas about sex, exactly draws out the reactions and treatments it criticises.

If you don't want to join in on the fun, that's totally fine. I get that it's not for everyone (just like sex, he). But treating it as a piece of trash just because it's a thing you personally find icky is exactly the reason the issues Playboyy talks about exist in the first place. Hence you can thank your stuck-up ass yourself that debauched individuals like me get a gem like this to enjoy.

And the fact that it didn't just find a crew, but also the funding and the mainstream distribution proves that I'm not alone in this.

It's not my lonely little corner anymore and I'm absolutely thriving on that. Cry about it.

[writingsfromhome]

Things to Learn II

A/N: I kind of love writing these characters? tsm for the love on the original I’m glad I got to dive back into their story again. I’m starting a taglist so if you’d like to be on it give me a shout :)

Part 1 / 2 / 3 /

————————————————————

Harry rushes out of the toilets so he doesn’t miss the opening scene and nearly crashes into someone standing around the corner.

“Sorry!” He says as he tries to rush on by.

“Harry!?” The person calls his name.

He stops in his tracks and takes a look at who he just bumped into. And of course, it would be her.

“YN,” he swallows the lump forming in his throat. “Hi-uh what are you doing here?”

“Watching a movie?” She raises a brow. Still the same attitude as before.

“Oh! Right. Yeah. Me too-“

“Which movie are you here for?”

“The Planet of the Apes reruns,” Harry points to the door he so badly wants to walk through. As much as he wanted to stand here and talk to YN, have her attention all to himself, he wanted to watch the movie he came here for more.

“Well I’m here for that new romcom but Raina ditched me to go to that riverbank bonfire bullshit everyone’s talking about. But I hate smelling like campfire afterwards plus I already bought popcorn-“

“Didn’t that movie start 15 minutes ago?” Harry notices she’s standing in front of the poster. Why was she hovering outside?

“Well yeah because I’m wondering if I should be the loser inside watching a romcom by herself.”

Harry doesn’t know if he should be offended—he regularly watched movies by himself during the summer when he had nothing else to do. But then he realizes YN and her opinions weren’t something he took offence to ever since he put down his intellectually superior flag.

“Well I’m here with Caleb if you want to-“

“Bloody hell I was waiting for you to get the hint,” she brushes past Harry and he trails behind, confused.

“You wanted to watch Planet of the Apes?”

“No! I just didn’t want to watch a movie by myself. And you were supposed to invite me.”

“Oh,” these were the social rules Harry often missed. It was sort of nice having YN spell it out for him. “You could have just said-“

“Shh,” she shushes him as they enter the theatre.

Harry was pleased at the way Caleb’s eyes bugged out of his head at the sight of YN.

“I thought you were going to the toilet?” He whispers loudly.

“I was but she-“ Harry cuts off as someone in front turns around with a dirty look. The movie hadn’t even started.

YN sits beside Harry and begins snacking on her popcorn. She hogs the armrest and he lets her, and when she pulls out her sweets and offers it to Harry and his friend they end up swapping most of their snacks. Despite being distracted at first he has a really fun time with the two of them.

Outside in the lobby after the movie is done, YN hesitates after throwing out her trash. It looks like she was wondering if she should stick around or not.

“Thanks,” she finally tells Harry. “Let’s not do this again though.”

“You joined us,” Harry reminds her. She eyes both him and Caleb.

“Yeah, exactly?” She says with a hand on her hip.

“I’m j’saying we weren’t the ones ditched here,” Harry says before he could stop himself. Her pleasant expression falls and Harry can see Caleb concentrate on something far away. Coward.

“Firstly I was invited to join the party but like I said I don’t like smelling like campfire. Secondly, just cuz I told you I was ditched doesn’t make you-“

“Um, I gotta go.” Caleb pipes in from behind. Both Harry and YN turn to him and he almost shrinks. “My ride is here um…”

“See ya later,” Harry cups his hand and Caleb bolts out faster than a cat seeing a dog.

“You were saying?” Harry turns back to YN.

“Look,” she points to the other theatre, the one she’d been standing in front of when Harry bumped into her. “The next showing starts in a bit.”

Harry stares, trying to figure out what she was asking.

“We could watch it?”

“I thought we shouldn’t do this again?”

“Shut up,” she starts walking away.

“Isn’t this illegal?” Harry catches up to her. “I don’t even want to watch this movie.”

“Actually you do,” she grabs his arm and pulls him up the stairs even though he’s following her anyway. Harry tries not to focus on the exact part of his arm she’s touching but it feels warmer than usual. “And secondly nobody is going to kick us out. It doesn’t even matter, do something illegal once in a while.”

Harry follows along with her and they end up having a lot more fun at the second movie. He actually finds it funny and it reminds him of watching these during the holidays with his sister and mum. YN leans her head on his shoulder during an emotional scene and Harry feels like he’s made of clay until she takes it off and laughs at the next scene.

“You had fun, admit it!” YN says as they walk out of the theatre. It was close to midnight now and Harry was planning on walking home.

“Maybe!” Harry doesn’t.

“Liar,” she skips ahead of him. “Secretly you thought my romcom was a lot cooler than your Ape movie.”

“Planet of the Apes, and you enjoyed that one.”

“I’m not denying it,” she shrugs. “C’mon I know you’ve got a sister don’t you watch romcoms with her?”

Harry seems disturbed by the idea, “Not that sort. We watch holiday ones during Christmas but-“

“Oh my god like the Holiday?”

“Yeah I’ve seen that a billion times. And there’s one with Keira Knightley-“

“Oh I bet there is,” she nudges him and Harry blushes. “She does seem your type.”

“Yeah and you probably love Jude Law in The Holiday.”

“Well yeah he’s alright,” she pouts her mouth and doesn’t finish her sentence.

“No way,” Harry laughs. “It’s not Jude Law.”

“You know who’s peng? Tom Hardy. There’s a man I’d watch in a romcom over and over.”

“What?” Harry didn’t know who that was but now he was curious.

“Yeah. You should look him up. Anyway, my ride’s gonna be here any minute so I’m staying here.”

“Oh. Yeah right.” Harry thought they were walking home together but she stays near the closest bus shelter. “Well bye.”

“Bye,” she waves him off.

He doesn’t think he’d see her again that summer. But the next morning she sends him a text saying it was fun and he should come over some time to broaden his romcom education. He thinks she’s joking but the following Tuesday she shows up at his house with DVDs and Percys and although Harry’s mum is surprised to see a girl friend at the house, she orders them pizza and his family gives him the den all to themselves.

After watching two movies back to back and feeling sick from all the junk they’ve consumed they lay on the floor. As evening falls through the wispy curtains of his front window Harry asks YN about her summer and uni. She’s cagey and likes to turn questions around on him but it’s nice talking to her like that with most of her guard down. It almost feels like they’re friends.

***

YN shows up at Harry’s house after dinner. His butt is glued down on his sofa ready to settle into a night of playing video games but the ringing at the door interrupts him.

“Harry!” His sister calls out from somewhere. He was closest to the door and on his way there he peeks through the curtains of the den to see a familiar head of hair. In a cap.

“Hey!” She walks right in.

“Hey…” Harry looks at her get-up: a tanktop and gauzy skirt paired with the trainers she always wore.

“Oh YN,” Harry’s mum pokes her head down from the staircase. “You haven’t been around in a while how are things?”

“Hi Mrs. Styles.” YN was always the perfect angel in front of his parents but his mum was right, it had been a couple weeks since she came by. “I’m good! I’ve been working a few shifts at the shop I do summers at. I had the day off I’m trying to convince Harry to come out with me.”

She was, Harry thought. And she had a summer job?

He’s reminded that no matter how much closer they got, she was always somewhat of a mystery.

“Oh where are you heading out?” Harry’s mum walks down a few steps and sits down.

“There’s a get-together of some of our school friends. Harry never shows up to these things so-“

“Harry,” his mum joins in. “You should go!”

“I never even said no, jeez!” Harry grows flustered.

“But he was totally going to,” YN says to his mum. She laughs and Harry feels peer-pressured.

“Fine! I’ll go.”

“Well be safe,” his mum gets back up. “Make good decisions.”

Harry glares at YN when his mum clears the area and she smiles sweetly back at him.

“Oops.”

“For the record I don’t want to go.”

“Exactly,” she smiles. “Now where’s your room we need to put you in something better than that.”

He was in very comfortable sweatpants and a tee. By the time he was leaving he was in was a short sleeved button-up layered over the same tee and shorts he didn’t even know he owned. She’d forced him to take his glasses off and wear contacts then ruffled his hear with gel and she’d been so close every one of Harry’s senses had been hyper-tuned to her. YN had been oblivious.

“I can’t find my phone,” Harry pats his pockets down as they go downstairs.

“Just leave without it! We’re gonna be late!”

“Can you just call it?” Harry’s halfway up the steps. “I can’t leave without it.”

YN rolls her eyes and calls it. It rings from the den and she walks towards it.

“Seriously?” She walks back out. “You never changed my name?”

Future Prime Minister YN with a heart. It had stayed the same since their group project.

“I guess not,” Harry suddenly feels even more self conscious.

“You can keep the heart,” she goes into his contacts after holding his phone up to his face.

“Hey I never said you could go in!”

“Shush!” She smirks as she updates her name. “There.”

“You don’t want to change the photo?” Harry asks and sighs at her new name: HRH 💖

“No time. Let’s go!” She pushes him out the door.

“I’m going I’m going!” Harry closes the door behind him and they set off down the road.

“You’re so lucky your mum’s so chill,” YN says as they walk.

“Where are we going?” Harry asks.

“My mum thinks I’m at Raina’s watching movies or some shite. Your mum actually like, encouraged you to go out. She didn’t even give you a curfew.”

“Well I never do this,” Harry replies. “What is this anyway.”

“Another bonfire-“

“Does Raina do those like every week?” Harry remembered something about this that night they bumped into each other at the cinema.

“No,” YN says, offended that he would criticize her friend in any way. “The guy she’s seeing right now knows a guy. They do them like a couple times a month. If they did it every week don’t you think someone would catch on?”

Harry shrugs.

“Anyway, you have a decent closet why do you always dress so…boring?”

“I don’t dress boring,” Harry shoves his hand into his pockets. “I’m just comfortable.”

“I’m comfortable,” she points out.

Harry eyes her outfit again, she looked nice and her legs looked particularly nice in the skirt. Harry looks up in the silence he’d just created to find YN staring at him with a raised brow.

“Had a good look?” She punches his arm.

“Ow,” Harry rubs his arm but he deserved it. He’d been oggling. But ever since she’d gotten into his face to run her gelled fingers through his hair, and the cloud of her shampoo or perfume whatever it was closed in around him he’s having a hard time not glancing at her every opportunity.

“Have you got anyone you’re seeing?” Harry asks.

“Nope,” she pops her p. “With uni starting I didn’t really want to let a guy distract me and fuck with my feelings.”

“Wow,” it slips out of Harry’s mouth.

“What?” She narrows her eyes. “And we’re going right here.”

They turn the corner and she asks Harry again what his reaction meant.

“Nothing. I’m just surprised you’re not having a summer fling or something.”

“God Harry, do you think I just date boys to get off or something? I’ve barely had a boyfriend-“

She cuts herself off.

“What?” Harry missed what happened.

“Nothing.”

“Aw c’mon you can’t say ‘nothing’ now,” Harry pushes. After knowing YN this long, she was still scary, but he’d learned where and how to poke at her to get more answers without getting his head bitten off. “You’ve dated plenty of guys.”

“For someone with his nose in a book all the time you claim to know a lot about who I’m dating.”

“It’s hard not to miss what everyone’s talking about.”

“So you believe all the rumours? In that case it’s probably true you cried your first time.”

“What?!” Harry flushes. “Who said that?”

“But rumours are true right?”

“Fine. You just always had one of the football blokes nearby I just-“

“So you just thought I dated the whole team?”

Fuck, Harry realizes he’d screwed up when she starts to speed walk away. He’d spoken before thinking about what it might sound like from her end.

She starts to walk ahead and Harry fastens his pace to catch up. He reaches out and clasps her shoulder. “YN wait I’m sorry. I didn’t think-“

“Whatever,” she brushes his hand off.

He felt awful. He tries again, grabbing her arm this time and she comes to a stop.

“I’m sorry!” He says again. “Just forget I said anything.”

He’s surprised to see her teary eyes when she turns to him.

“What?” She snaps. “Never seen a girl cry before?”

“No I just—I didn’t mean to make you cry-“

“Oh you didn’t make my cry don’t worry,” she huffs. “I just hate how everyone in school always judges me based on their own fucking insecurities.”

Harry pauses, it was true. And he knew YN was only as cutting as she was so she could be taken seriously—so nobody would walk all over her just because she was a girl. He shouldn’t have made that comment, he knew that. He knew better but apparently he still had things to learn.

“I shouldn’t have judged you like that,” Harry mumbles. “I knew better.”

Her mouth parts slightly, YN wasn’t expecting Harry to say a combination of words that actually sounded better than an apology. She forgives him, but she doesn’t let him know.

“Well…you can make it up to me.” YN threads her arm through Harry’s. At first he doesn’t quite know what to do—despite their budding friendship YN rarely showed any affection or even friendliness in public. This was different.

“How? That sounds a bit sinister.”

“You’re going to get drunk with me. I’ve never seen you drunk before, and I want to be able to have embarrassing pictures of you to use next time you make me upset.”

“No way!” Harry unthreads his hand, regretting the decision a little.

“So you’re just gonna go to a party and watch everyone else drink? Your mum would be disappointed!”

“Trust me my mum doesn’t want me to get drunk,” Harry corrects her. “And I don’t drink for a reason. It really doesn’t take much to get tipsy.”

“Really?” YN eyes him. “But you’re tall.”

Harry shrugs, suddenly his heart thuds in his chest as he catches sight of the smoke of the bonfire. This was real—he was actually going to a class party with YN as his company. He had no friends there. This wasn’t his scene. What was he thinking?

“Have we got to do-“

“We’re going,” YN takes his hand and drags it the rest of the way. “We’re going to uni next year and you’re not going to be a party virgin.”

“I’ve been to parties!”

“What? D&D parties?” YN snorts. “You’re going to an outdoor party with drinks and getting drunk. I want you to let loose. Show everyone Harry the nerd is kind of funny?”

“Kind of?” Harry tugs her hand back. “You snorted at my jokes a couple weeks ago.”

YN looks back at him and Harry’s breath is momentarily caught in his throat. The light of the bonfire reflects in her eyes that crinkle at the corners as she looks at him. She has an amused smile fixed on her face. She’s relaxed completely, unguarded.

He wanted more of that, he realizes.

“Oi it’s about time!” Someone notices YN and waves her down. Harry’s forced to follow. “Brought a date did you?”

“Not my date,” YN rolls her eyes.

The group, amongst whom most had been in a lot of his classes, simply stare at him expecting a name or something. Blimey, he realizes nobody recognized him. YN did a good job with her makeover.

“Good,” one particular bloke—tall with a shaggy overgrown mop of hair peels away from the group and slides his arm around YN. She distances herself in one languid move and continues on.

“Are you lot alright?” YN asks. “It’s Harry?”

“Hey Harry,” a few of them say with a removed friendliness. They still couldn’t place him. Harry would have been offended if this wasn’t the last summer he would see them all.

“Okay?” YN turns to Harry with her eyebrow raised and a joke in her eyes like they were on the ins of something together. It warms Harry’s chest with a gentle ease.

“Harry,” shaggy-hair says. “How d’you two know each other?”

“I’m gonna show Har to the drinks,” YN continues ignoring the guy. Harry’s dying to know who that is. “Anyone seen Raina?”

“She was over there a little while ago,” someone motions towards the fire.

This satisfies YN enough. She turns, “Drinks

“Yeah,” Harry feels lighter being here knowing nobody really recognized him. Like he could be anyone. Maybe he was getting a taste of what being at uni would feel like. He liked it.

He asks YN who that guy was when they get enough distance.

“Oh him? We went out a few times, hooked up at a couple parties. He seems to think that means I want him around at any given moment but he’s a bit clingy.”

A bit was an understatement but Harry stays quiet.

“He looks old.”

She laughs, “Yeah maybe cause he’s 21?”

“What’s he doing with a bunch of teens?” Harry asks, puzzled.

“Oh Har,” YN pats his shoulder and laughs. “Let’s get you a drink.”

“Just one drink,” Harry insists.

But after downing the disgustingly hoppy beer YN hands him Harry starts to feel even better being here. Nobody recognizes him, he has YN keeping him company (after she goes to Raina for a bit and comes back grumbling about her new boyfriend), and the energy at the party starts to really take off as someone turns on a playlist and people really start to mingle.

“So you excited about uni?” YN asks. They’re both sitting on a large rock. Yn has her knees tucked into her and her cheek rests on top. She seemed down after coming back from Raina.

“Yeah!” Harry says. “Finally get some bloody freedom, away from this place.”

“This place?” She slides her cheek across her knees to look at him. She looks beautiful, Harry thinks, before sliding his eyes away. It was still hard for him to maintain eye contact with her despite all the evenings they spent together.

“School. These people.”

“Hey they didn’t even recognize you today,” she chuckles. “I did a good job.”

She reached out and brushes one of his curls. Harry inadvertently leans in closer to her.

“I look the exact same,” Harry scoffs.

“No without those big ass glasses you actually look different.”

“Call me Clark Kent then.”

“Clark Kent.”

Harry looks at YN with an are-you-serious expression and she laughs.

“I didn’t actually mean to call me Clark-“

“I know,” she says softly. “I’m trying to annoy you.”

“That’s not hard to do.”

“Hey!” She punches him lightly. “That’s mean. You’re mean when you’re drinking.”

“No I’m not,” was he? He was just being himself here.

“No…you’re not,” she agrees. “But you’re honest. Anyway, you’re living on campus right? That’s lucky.”

“Why don’t you?” Harry asks.

“I can’t,” YN turns her face away again. “I’ve got to stay at home. Things are…complicated. So I’ve just got to commute.”

“Do you think we’ll hang out at uni?” Harry asks and then flushes as he realizes he said it out loud.

“Yeah? Why wouldn’t we?”

Harry shrugs. “We don’t exactly run in the same circles.”

“Look at us now,” she leans into him, nudging his shoulder, and the warmth of her pressed into him is a balm to his melancholy. “We’re not gonna have the same labels in uni. Nobody knows us. We just get to be ourselves.”

“I hope so.” Harry says. “Should I get another drink?”

“Really?” YN sits up. “You want another?”

“Yeah!” Harry suddenly feels energized. “Why fucking not?!”

“Alright!” She hops off and he follows. “You also swear a lot more when you drink. It’s funny.”

“Sorry,” Harry apologizes immediately.

“Don’t be, I like it.” She says and Harry’s heart skips a beat. He floats the rest of the way to the drinks.

He downs half of another beer before he’s recruited to do a keg stand. He’s pretty sure it’s YN’s pretty-boy that jostles him into that crowd. He’d never done one before and YN tries to pull him away but tipsy and brave he gets instructions and allows two strangers to hold him up while he drinks what feels like the equivalent to the Thames.

The boys standing around cheer him on when he stands back up with the longest time out of everyone tonight. If he was anything, Harry was a winner. And he feels powerful: he’s actually seen and celebrated tonight for doing something as stupid as a keg stand. Why didn’t he do this more in school?

“Make way for the goat!” One of the guys shouts.

“You’re all wankers!” Harry shouts. “I just owned you all!”

“Harry,” YN’s hand clasps his and while he shouts celebrations back to the guys he’s dragged away by her.

“It’s Harry right?” A girl he’s never seen before stops YN on her trek to get him far away from the drinks. “I’m Marva.”

“Marva!” Harry pulls his hand from YN and shakes Marva’s. “Nice to meet you…Mara.”

“Yeah nice to meet you,” she smiles. “You’ve got really nice eyes.”

“Thank you Mara. You have really nice teeth.”

“Fucking hell,” YN mutters then louder she says, “Sorry Marva we gotta go. Maybe you can catch up with-“

“Okay I just wanna say that was sick what you did,” Marva points to the keg.

“I’m king of the keg,” Harry says and YN mumbles something to the side but Harry’s too swept in winning, in getting attention from this beautiful girl, to hear.

“Yeah, uhm could I get your number?”

“Uh,” Harry tries to remember his number but it doesn’t come to him. He should remember his number. Why isn’t it coming to him?

“Or I could give you mine?” She says after Harry stands there silently for an uncomfortable minute.

“Yeah,” Harry hands his phone over but his mind keep trying to push through the slosh to remember his number. Soon enough he’s walking away with YN again. “Why is my number? It’s a set of numbers…”

He’s mumbling, an anxious feeling creeping up his chest as he tries to remember.

“Hey,” YN finally allows him to stop. She senses the panic rising in him and lays a hand on his chest. The buzzing stops immediately. “Harry look at me.”

Harry looks down at YN, she was one of the most beautiful women he’s ever seen. He wishes he could hold her face for eternity. He would live in peace.

“Hello?” She snaps her fingers. “You’re not blinking are you alright?”

“Probably not!” Harry laughs. “I just got hit on by a gorgeous girl did you see that?”

“Yes,” she rolls her eyes. “She was impressed by your ability to drink upside down. What a catch.”

“I am a catch,” Harry motions to the water behind them. “I’m a fish in the sea.”

“Oh my god,” YN laughs. “You’re ridiculous is what you are. That’s a river I thought you were smart.”

“I’m cool now.”

She brushes his hair again, “give a nerd a new hair style,” she drags her hands over his eyes, “put him in contacts,” she continues tracing her hand down his face to his chest, “put him in new clothes-“

She cuts herself off when Harry grasps her hand against his chest. He was sure she could feel his heart racing inside.

They stare silently at each other, the darkness cushioning them on either side until it feels like they’re the only two beings in the night. Like they’re drifting in the dark, tethered only by hands and gazes.

Harry tilts forward, YN doesn’t move back. So he closes the distance and presses his lips to hers, they’re as soft as he imagined. They’re the best lips he’s ever kissed.

Maybe he imagines it, maybe it was a drunk fantasy, but for a brief second she presses her lips against his; she closes her eyes and kisses him back.

The next second, she’s shoving him backwards and scrambling away. Her look of shock and betrayal cuts right through the fog in his brain.

“What the fuck?” She shouts. “Did-did you just fucking kiss me?”

“I’m sorry!” Harry feels his heart in his throat, why did he think she would ever want to kiss him? She was YN, he was just Harry. “I don’t-I’m not I-“

“What the fuck is wrong with you?” She wipes the back of her hand against her mouth, adding assault to injury. “Why would you do that?!”

“YN,” Harry stumbles forward but she peddles backward. It’s another punch added, almost deflating him entirely. “I didn’t mean—I’m drunk I’m sorry-“

“Being drunk isn’t a fucking excuse,” she spits.

“I know! I’m sorry!”

“Goddamnit! You’re just like every other asshole of a guy. I thought we were friends! But of course you get drunk and try to kiss me-“

“It’s not like that!” Harry tries to tell her. He was just braver drunk but he’s been in love with her a long time. After hanging out this whole summer he just thought they had a moment there. He read the signs wrong; apparently a bookworm could read wrong.

Maybe he would never be good at this whole people thing.

“Then what?” YN seethes. “Then why the hell—why did you try to kiss me Harry? You don’t even like me why would you kiss me?!”

“I…” he doesn’t know what to say. Of course he liked her. He more than liked her; YN changed his life and he’s starting to like who she makes him be.

But nothing will make this situation better. And the worst part is he feels her slip away, right through his fingers. It’s like one of those jelly toys from when he was a kid; the harder he gripped the easier it slipped away.

“Get fucked Harry,” YN swears. She turns and leaves. She leaves him and he doesn’t think she’ll ever come back.

When the rush of adrenaline subsides Harry empties the contents of his stomach. With his head swimming he picks himself up and finds his way out. With a final glance at the party he’d just felt king of, he spots YN tucked into the body of shaggy-hair and his stomach turns. Why did he ever think she’d want him? Girls like her didn’t end up with guys like him. Why did he ever come to this stupid party in the first place and get drunk? This wasn’t him. Uni or not, maybe he was never meant to change all that much.

***

Harry looks around his half of the dorm he’s just finished putting together with a proud smile. At last the day had come, he had successfully escaped the shackles of school and all its taunting and made it to the uni of his choice. Despite only being a 1.5 hour train ride from home Harry chose to get the full uni experience and live on campus. His life was going to change, he could feel it.

That is, until his roommate walked in.

Messy hair, backwards baseball cap, crewneck and baggy jeans and massive headphones on. Harry already types him in his mind—how the hell did the dorm board pair the two of them together?

“Aw marra,” he holds his hand out sideways and Harry clasps his hand and lets his body gets tugged into his roommate’s bony shoulder. “Harry right?”

“Yeah,” Harry tries to find his balance again. “Roderick?”

“Just Rod yeah,” Roderick throw his duffel bag onto the bed and points behind him. “Give me a hand with the other bags?”

Harry wasn’t much for lifting heavy things but he didn’t want to start off on the wrong foot with someone he’d be living with the next year. So he goes.

“When did you get here?” He asks.

“Last night,” Harry wanted to get in before everyone else and avoid the crowds of people. He knew it would be a good way to meet others and make friends—his sister told him the first week was when you made most of them, but he did what we wanted.

Rod barely hears him as they get the last of his bags. “It was packed to shite trying to get in here. Where’d you come in from?”

“London,” Harry answers.

“And you’re staying here? On campus?”

“Yeah, I didn’t want to do the commute everyday. Felt like a waste of time.”

“Yeah that’d be crazy.” His roommate agrees.

“What about you?” Harry remembers to ask.

“Sunlun,” he replies. Harry hadn’t heard of it, and reminds himself to look it up later. “I was right ready to lose it driving here. My mam drove me-“

“Oh is she around?” Harry asks.

“No,” Rod laughs. “I’m not starting school trailing after her. But I promised her I’d have a meal with her after moving my—hey you should come!”

Harry has a hard time keeping up with Roderick, despite having longer legs than him he walks as fast as he talks and he talks with an accent that takes a minute to filter through for understanding.

“I couldn’t-“

“No you’re coming,” Rod claps Harry on the back. “She would love seeing that my roommate’s someone like you.”

Someone like you, what did that mean? But on some level Harry knows just by comparing Roderick’s outfit and Harry’s slacks and spotless crewneck.

Harry has no choice but he gets a free meal out of it. Roderick’s mum is sweet and by the end of the meal he understands his roommate a lot better, knows everything about where he’s from—Sunderland, and is invited to “drop by for tea” anytime he’s up north.

Roderick invites Harry to a get-together for first years happening somewhere off campus but Harry feels sensed out and tells him he was calling it a night. Rod looks disappointed but leaves without him. Harry almost feels disappointed in himself. He was supposed to have a different life being in uni, but he didn’t want to make old mistakes and try to be someone he wasn’t.

***

Freshers week is both invigorating and exhausting for Harry as he tries to navigate all of the personalities and social groups without falling back into his usual ways. He attends the talks and the tours, one in which he meets Mikey who was also planning on joining debate club. Harry goes to mixers and breaks so much ice he’s sure he could get a part time job as an ice sculptor.

Harry also attends the workshops and he meets a few more friends there, but mostly when he signs up for clubs he’s interested and goes to their mixers he finds people he clicks with very easily. He doesn’t spot Rod once or anyone else he would have known from school.

On Thursday Harry heads to Newsroom Society Club which was a fancy title for the uni’s reporting club. He has a few new friends he’s made, Florence from one of the workshops and Gabriel who lived in the same hall as Harry as well as Mikey. They were all interested in being part of reporting—the newspaper or the podcast.

Harry stumbles into a projector when he spots her.

“You alright?” Gabriel grabs Harry’s jacket to hold him steady. All eyes are on him as the slideshow on the wall tips off balance and he’s bright as a tomato.

“Yeah I didn’t see that there,” Harry lies.

“Kinda hard to miss,” YN pipes in from where she stands.

Looking at her reminds Harry of the summer. It felt like a dream looking back on it, how they became friends and then quickly drifted off after he stupidly misread her cues and tried to kiss her. Although it was one of the few times he had gotten drunk and he was out of his depth when it happened. But YN had avoided him after that. He knew they were going to the same school but he didn’t think he’d see her this early on.

Harry’s new friends eye YN, assuming she was being rude just because. But when Harry acknowledges her they settles down.

“YN. Hi.” Harry waves awkwardly.

“Harry,” she says coolly.

“You’re here for the paper?”

“The show actually,” YN nods. The girl she’s talking to touches her arm and motions she was heading elsewhere.

“Oh me too,” Florence pipes in. “I’m Florence by the way.”

“I’m Mikey,” his other friend says as if Flo opened a gateway to YN. “I’m also interested in it. Not sure if I’m staying though.”

YN eyes his friends and returns her gaze to Harry. “Neat. I’m YN.”

“You two know each other?” Mikey asks.

“Yeah,” Harry says as YN says “Unfortunately.”

There’s an awkward beat as the group tries to figure out if she’s joking it not. When her lips curl into a small smile and they take the cue to laugh. It amazed Harry how well YN could command a group. Even now.

“Are you going for any other clubs?” Flo continues asking YN.

“I was thinking tennis, I used to play.” YN says and Harry’s surprised to hear that. He’s reminded he didn’t know her much—he never really got to know her that well despite all the time together. She was a closed book on a lot of things. “How about you?”

“Yeah I’m thinking of joining the volunteer committee!”

“Yeah what do they do?” YN asks. “Obviously volunteering but like-“

She doesn’t need to correct herself any further as Flo launched into a onboarding speech about volunteer committee. And Harry’s mesmerized by YN as she listens to Flo attentively, it’s different to the way she interacted with him or Mikey or a lot of people. When she feels him staring her eyes flick up to meet his and then back to Flo. She does it again and he takes the hint, looking away.

He flushes remembering the summer, how things started so well and ended so terribly.

YN ends up sticking to their group as the club organizers gather everyone to do a small introduction of the Newsroom Society. When it ends and they’re left to mingle Harry’s friends ask him what they were going to do for lunch.

“I’m easy, we can go anywhere.”

“I wanted to catch the fencing match they have going on at 2,” Gabriel says. “I might stay behind-“

“Let’s just do the caf.” Harry decides.

Florence turns back to YN who’s with her friend again. “Hey we were gonna grab lunch in the caf would you want to join? Both of you?”

YN meets Harry’s eye and an awkward energy sizzles between the two. It happens so quickly.

“Soph?” YN asks her friend.

“Eh,” she shrugs. “Okay. I’m Sophie by the way…”

Introductions are made all over again and YN and Harry are left herding the crowd from behind at the end if it.

“Hi,” Harry says as they fall into step.

She eyes him first before responding, “Hi.”

Silence as the group ahead chatters away.

“How’ve you been?” Harry attempts small talk.

“Fine.” She replies without returning the question. Harry gets the hint and grits his teeth. It was frustrating knowing she had glued herself shut and it would require a tool he didn’t have to get her to open again.

At lunch she continues to gloss over anything he says and talking with everyone enthusiastically but him, making him feel like he was in secondary all over again.

“We should do this again,” Florence suggests. “You guys are fun.”

Harry thinks Flo just liked having girls to talk to since most of the friends she’d made so far had been Harry and his.

“Yeah,” Soph agrees. “Maybe we’ll all make the Newsroom Society. Flo I think I’ll come to the volunteer thing with you next week just text me when it is.”

Somehow Harry’s friends intermingle with YN’s and by the time classes actually starts he’s seen YN socially more often than he had in secondary.

“YN,” Harry catches her walking out of their international business course. He’d found they had two classes together despite deciding different majors.

She glances up at her name and upon seeing Harry continues walking.

“Hey YN,” he walks ahead enough to stop her.

“Hey. What?” She asks.

“Can we talk?”

She raises a brow.

“C’mon,” Harry turns and hopes she’ll follow. She does. He leads them to a seating area for students in the building’s courtyard. “We should talk.”

“About?”

“Us.” Harry fidgets. “Look, I know what I did last summer wasn’t right. And being drunk wasn’t an excuse. I…I misread the signs and I’m really sorry. I didn’t mean to betray your trust like that and. Yeah. I’m really sorry. If we’re gonna hang out and be mates, it’s weird when you’re always mad at me.”

She stares at him for an uncomfortable period and Harry can’t hold eye contact the whole time.

“How many times did you practice saying that?” She asks with a straight expression.

He laughs, “A few times.”

Like the sun after a thunderstorm, her smile slowly brightens the rest of her face as it stretches over her face.

“For the record, don’t ever try to kiss me ever again.” YN lists on her fingers. “Secondly, there will never be signs between us as anything more than friends so just…don’t look for them. We’re just friends.”

“Got it,” Harry mock salutes.

“I’m not done,” she holds up three fingers. “Thirdly, it’s nice seeing you be less…secondary Harry.”

“What?”

“Y’know like, bookish awkward nerdy Harry. You’ve actually got friends, I saw you at a couple parties. It’s nice!”

“Oh,” Harry didn’t think YN thought about him at all. He thought he went back to being a nobody but she was still noticing things about him. Things he thought only he had picked up on.

She was right—he felt more himself the longer he was at uni. It wasn’t easy but he found it easier to make decisions about people and friends, emotions and conversations when the pressure to fit into a box fell away.

Of course, Harry still struggled connecting with his roommate. After declining his initial invite to a party Rod mostly kept to himself and sometimes Harry was asked to give him privacy a few hours some evenings. Harry usually obliged, wanting to still be friends with Roderick.

One of the parties YN saw him at must have been one Rod invited him to. It was the first time he’d really spoken to him since that first day. And Harry had gone to the party just to reduce the friction with Rod. It went over well, he’d even chatted up a girl.

“Anyway,” YN hitches her bag onto her shoulder. “My next class is much later in the day so I’m gonna find a place to crash until then.”

“When is it?”

“Like, 5?”

“Shit, you commuted for our 10 and have to stay that late?”

“Yeah,” she sighs. “It was the only way I could fit both classes into this semester.”

“D’you…” Harry reconsiders the rules she’d given him. He didn’t think this was breaking any. “D’you want to come go my dorm? You could…nap or something.”

Her face lights up, “Wait really?”

“Yeah?”

“Um yeah? If that’s alright if-“

“Yeah,” Harry’s pleased to be able to offer something that’s made her light up. “Yeah c’mon. My roommate should be out. My next class is at half past 1 though.”

“That’s enough time for a nap,” YN says as she falls into step beside him.

“You don’t have to leave.” Harry tells her. “You can stay while I’m in class.”

That’s how Harry finds himself walking out of his dorm quietly so as not to wake a sleeping YN. She had knocked out soon after getting into his sheets, and he’s thankful he’d just washed them over the weekend after accidentally spilling tea all over them.

He felt bad that she had to commute for nearly 2 hours and stay the whole day for an evening class. He gives her an open invitation to use his dorm as a hotel when she wanted. She’d corrected him it was more like a motel, and then said his bedsheets smelled surprisingly nice for a motel.

Harry has a smile for most of his walk to class.

Near the end of class his phone vibrates with a text.

Roderick: there’s a girl sleeping on your bed?

Shit, Harry didn’t think he’d be back before him.

Harry: that’s just YN, sorry hope you don’t mind.

R: nah I just wasn’t expecting it lol

H: she’s just crashing

R: she single?

H: what happened to the girl you were hooking up with last week?

Despite not talking a lot, Harry still had the lowdown on who Rod was hooking up with because of the revolving door of girls.

R: mate. That was last week.

Harry rushes back from class but to his surprise he finds YN sitting in bed braiding her hair while Rod leans against his desk explaining something about Sunderland.

“Oh hey Harry,” YN says when he walks in.

“Hey,” Harry tries not to sound too out of breath. “Uh I see you two’ve met.”

“Yeah. YN’s pretty cool, where’ve you been hiding her?”

“I’m not-“

“Ew,” YN cuts him off. “Do they not teach manners in Sunderland?”

Harry watches, for the first time since he’s met him, Roderick stammer and look uncertain.

“Anyway,” YN gets off the bed and adjusts her clothes. “Thanks for letting me crash.”

Harry watched Rod get a hold of himself and YN put her bag back together again. That was the privilege of being so beautiful, she could shame guys like Rod into behaving themselves.

“See you Friday?” YN tells Harry. They had a Newsroom Society meeting. Harry ended up making the cut for the paper along with Gabriel and Flo. YN had made it for the podcast and this week was when they first got assignments.

“Yeah,” Harry says. YN walks past him, squeezing him arm and walking out.

“Marra,” Rod blow the air out of his cheeks. “She’s….something. You should invite her to the party Friday if she’s on campus.”

“Yeah I’ll ask,” Harry says. Weird how the tables have turned, he thinks. Here he would be, inviting YN to a party.

***

Harry doesn’t get a chance to catch up with YN until after Newsroom. He asks her if she was doing anything afterwards.

“Nope,” she rubs her temple. “I have a Saturday shift to work so I was just gonna head home after this.”

“Oh.” Harry says. He forgot she worked. “I was gonna invite you to this party-“

“You?” She points to him and laugh. “You’re inviting me?”

“Erm yeah?”

“I love it.” She says seriously.

“Yeah,” a smile tugs at his lips. “I know. But if you’re busy-“

“Oh no. I’ll show up to a party you’re inviting me to, where is it?”

Harry gives her the place. She tells him one of her friends was trying to get here there too.

“Whatever, I’ll just suffer the consequences tomorrow. Although I’m not dressed for a party at all.”

Harry eyes her hoodie and jeans. Even he knew YN dressed up more for parties.

“Too bad you’re not a girl,” she sighs. “I could just borrow something from your closet.”

“How about the friend you mentioned?”

“She lives a town over so she commutes. Wait, let me see your closet maybe we can make something work.”

“Don’t you make fun of my closet?”

“No I make fun when you wear it. It might look hot on me.”

The idea of YN looking hot in his clothes forces the blood to rush to his head and he has to take a few deep breaths before trailing behind.

Rod’s nowhere in sight when they get to his dorm. Harry unloads his backpack and splays out on his bed, tired from the day and really not wanting to go to any parties.

“This could be cute,” YN unhooks a plain white tee from his closet and throws it on his bed. She picks up a sweater and a short-sleeved button up. She holds them up to her and instructs him to turn around while she tries it on.

Harry’s so tired that turned around he ends up falling asleep, half his body still dangling off the bed.

While uni was really fun for him, and getting to explore different sides of him and learn a whole lot, it was a constant rotation of something. Sometimes he wondered if he should drop a class or a club just to give himself some breathing room. Or sleeping room. But Harry wasn’t a quitter. Instead he was tired a lot of the time and felt like he was constantly catching up.

“Hello,” Harry’s woken by a vigorous shaking. YN peers down at him, lashes long and coated in mascara probably. Her lips are painted a deep pink and she’s put her hair down.

“How did you…” Harry blinks at her.

“I had some makeup in my bag, I just touched it up while you slept.” She sits down beside him. “Now what are you wearing and when are we leaving?”

“I’m just wearing this,” Harry motions to his jeans and hoodie. She raises a brow. “Wait what are you-“

He notices what she’s wearing. His white tee that hangs loose on him has been tightened into a single point on YN’s ribcage, baring her midriff. She’s kept her jeans on but somehow despite only swapping out one item of clothing she looks magnetic.

“Wow.”

“I know right,” she gets up to allow him the full picture even though he didn’t want to ogle any more. “I just went with one of your tees, used a hair tie to style it. I’ll wear my bomber on top. And you can change your hoodie at least. You’ll look like a slob in that, it’s not going to impress any girls.”

“What if I don’t want to impress any girls?”

“Don’t forget I caught you flirting with Sophie last week.” She warns him.

It was embarrassing, Soph had been talking through one of the articles they were assigned to think about for Newsroom and it had turned flirty when Sophie started teasing him. Harry had recently felt more confident in the girl department and he’d flirted back until YN had dropped into the conversation pretending to gag at Harry.

Harry wondered if Sophie would be at the party. He should have texted her to ask.

“Let’s not talk about that.”

“I would actually love to talk about that,” she grins. “But I do want to head out. So wear this and let’s go.”

She throws Harry a crewneck and taps her foot. When she doesn’t make a move to look away he changes in front of her and doesn’t meet her eye.

“You’ve got a tattoo?” YN sounds surprised as he gets his arms into the crewneck.

“Huh?” Harry realizes she’s staring at his ribcage. He forgot he had a tattoo, not often looking at himself naked in the mirror. “Oh yeah. Caleb and I got it for our 18th before we went to uni. He’s moved to Canada for uni so-“

“You’re full of surprises aren’t you.” YN says in a quieter voice than usual. Harry’s hands are still trapped in his sweater, halfway to his head, when she steps closer and traces her hand over the numbers. Her hands are cold and unexpected and he gasps.

“Sorry,” she looks up at him but he can barely look at her. She was touching his bare torso. “Was that cold?”

“Yeah,” Harry clears his throat.

“Any others?” She asks.

He shakes his head, his voice sticking in his throat. He couldn’t move, he was too busy concentrating on breathing.

He slowly pulls his jumper on the rest of the way and only when they head out does he feel safe enough to talk. He tells YN how he planned on getting more tattoos eventually, once he figured out what he liked. It was a bit scary being so permanent but he liked the way he could express himself or hold memories on his skin.

They talk about it until they reach the dorms the party was at.

“Catch you inside,” YN says as they enter. “Don’t get too drunk.”

“Never again” Harry shouts after her. She waves without turning around.

He thought they would hang out here together but he finds himself wandering the dorms until he spots Mikey. He becomes absorbed in Mikey’s group of friends and forgets he’d been here with YN.

At some point Harry finds himself the centre of attention of a girl from his intro to biology class. Mary. She’s cute with a shoulder-length brown hair and animated eyes. When she smiles at Harry he feels his heart flutter.

“What about weirdest?” She asks Harry. They were talking about their shared interest in cults.

“Raelian,” Harry responds. “Have you heard of them?”

“Ooh no tell me about it,” she shuffles closer to him in the stranger’s room they were talking in. Harry had been nursing his drink for the last couple hours and he’d nearly made it look like it was done.

His phone vibrates in his pocket and he ignores it. When it goes off again Mary raises her brow.

“D’you need to get that?”

“I dunno,” Harry pulls out YN flipping him off on screen. He still hadn’t changed her photo.

“Harry!” He hears his name shouted from the hall just as the call ends.

“Is somebody actually calling you?” Mary furrows her brows.

“I don’t-“ his name is shouted again but louder.

The two of them shuffle to the hall and YN’s unmistakable face comes into view.

“Harry!” She says in a loud and happy tone. “I found you!”

“YN,” Harry glances at Mary nervously. She seems concerned. “What happened?”

“What didn’t happen amirite?” She elbows him. “Anyway. I don’t feel well and I am going home.”

“Drunk?” Harry scratches his head. “I don’t know if that’s a good idea. You’ve got like nearly 2 hours on the train.”

“And?” She shrugs. “I’ll sleep it off.”

“You can’t do that.” Harry insists.

“Well good thing you’re,” she points her finger into his chest and tilts forward. “Not the boss of me. Oh hey. We haven’t met!”

She spots Mary beside him and she bows to her.

“Heh. Harry. And Mary.” YN points between them.

“D’you need help?” Mary asks. “With her?”

“I don’t need help!” YN shouts. “I’m cool. I’m fun. I’m totally alright.”

“You’re really not,” Harry grits his teeth. He was finally hitting it off with Mary and of course YN had to go and get drunk and ruin it.

Technically he did invite her to the party though. Did that make her his responsibility? Harry wasn’t too sure about that sort of thing.

“I did an amazing job at Ring of Fire,” YN slurs. “Phe-nnnnn-omm-enal.”

“I am going to get her out of here,” Harry tells Mary. He twists his mouth to the side and hopes he looks as sorry as he felt. “I invited her so…”

“That’s alright! That’s what friends are for right?” She smiles. “I’ll see you in class?”

“Yeah!” Harry nods. “I’ll see you.”

With a final exchange of smiles Harry grabs YN by the shoulders and gets her out of the building. The whole time she talks about random things from the night that Harry couldn’t care less about.

“YN why did you get so bloody drunk,” Harry says outside his building. It was a co-ed so it wouldn’t be out of the ordinary for both of them to go in but Harry wanted to sneak her into his room.

“I didn’t mean to,” she says. “I wasn’t even gonna stay this long.”

Her voice pitches down and she becomes droopier in Harry’s arms. His arms hurt; he should use the gym on campus more often.

“What happened?” Harry continues to entertain her.

She doesn’t say until they reach his room. He prays Rod would still be at the party and breathes a sigh of relief when the other side of the room is empty.

“Sit here,” Harry places YN on his bed and finds a water bottle for her. “Drink.”

“I can’t, I need to piss.”

Harry groans. “Why didn’t you say earlier?”

“I forgot,” she whispers. “Sorry.”

He points the toilets out to her and leaves the door open a crack so she can find her way back. Her mascara’s running when she gets back.

“Were you crying?” He asks.

“No! I tried to take this stupid stuff off.” She sighs. “It really is waterproof.”

Harry shakes his head, YN was a right state and he didn’t really know what to do. She’s always the one in control and in command. He remembers his sister using makeup wipes but he didn’t have any. He improvises with kleenex but she complains that it hurt. He tries dousing one in water but the makeup barely budges.

“Just let me sleep in it,” she complains.

“And get it all over my bedsheets?” Harry shakes his head. “No way.”

“Oils,” YN leans back in his bed anyway. “If you’ve got oil. Or balms. Whatever.”

Harry rummages through the room and manages to find a hair product his sister bought him with oils. He puts some on the kleenex but YN is snoring in bed by the time he gets up to her.

“C’mon,” he taps her face. “Did you seriously fall asleep already?”

“No,” YN cracks an eye open. “I’m up.”

“Good. Here use this.” He offers her the wipe but she whines until Harry gives in and helps her wipe it off. It makes his heart race and he tries not to breathe her in too much. Despite smelling like a brewery, underneath that she smells like YN. The one he knew last summer.

“You can’t sleep in my bed with this on.” Harry complains. Who knows where those jeans have been.

“M’not sleeping in my underwear,” she mumbles. “You wish.”

“Trust me I don’t,” Harry didn’t even sleep in his underwear. “I’ll give you some sweatpants. Please change into them.”

“You’re the worst,” she whines. But does as he says, moving like a sloth. She peels off his tshirt and slides into his sheets and Harry avoids looking at her in her sports bra. At least it wasn’t a lacy one.

She was just a friend. They had both made an agreement. Friends slept in the same bed. He’d probably shared a bed with Caleb before—this was fine.

Harry creeps under his sheets and tries to keep space between YN and himself but she tucks herself into his side and is out like a light.

***

Harry wakes to a shock of cold on his thigh. His eyes rip open and he yanks himself away from the freeze.

It takes him a moment to register YN giggling beside him.

“What the fuck!” Harry groans and turns on his back. At some point he’d turned towards YN and they’d probably slept facing each other. It was better than any other alternative he figured.

“Sorry,” she says without sounding a single bit sorry. “I just had to do it.”

“I literally let you crash in the same tiny bed as me and you repay me like that!?” Harry says to the ceiling. Sleep still tries to pull him back in but he fights it—with YN up he probably wasn’t going to get any more sleep.

“Okay no I shouldn’t have done that sorry.” She apologizes. “You wouldn’t happen to have like paracetamol or-“

“It’s in the desk drawer—what are you—ow!”

YN had started climbing over him as he answered and nearly kneed him between the legs.

“Sorry!” She whispers. Harry glances at his roommate to find him sleeping in his bed. He hoped Rod was too drunk to notice YN in his bed when he came in.

Harry decides to just get up then and eventually he walks YN to the bus terminal both of them full on caf coffee and breakfast. She was going to cut it close for her shift but she didn’t seem to care.

“Thanks for taking care of me last night,” YN says as the bus comes into view. She doesn’t look him in the eye as she says it and he can barely look at her saying it. “You didn’t have to and you did.”

“It’s nothing,” Harry says, equally uncomfortable with YN’s vulnerability.

“I saw an ex,” she meets his gaze. “I didn’t think I’d run into him after all this time. That’s kinda why I drank more than I intended. I wasn’t supposed to inconvenience you—hey, weren’t you talking to some girl last-“

“Yeah,” Harry hoped Mary wasn’t too weirded out by YN. “It’s fine. I’ve got class with her.”

“Oh I’m sorry,” she slaps her hand to her forehead. “I hope I didn’t make things weird. I owe you.”

“It’s alright,” Harry finally meets her eye and realizes it was alright. He could be friends with YN and maybe this could work. “It’s what friends do.”

“Really?” She asks.

He nods. “I’ll help you home from any party.”

“Awww,” she wrings her arms around Harry’s neck and he takes a step back to steady her. He forces his brain to think only friendly thoughts, and not how steady his hand feels on her lower back or how nice her hair smells, as he returns the hug. “That’s the sweetest thing you’ve ever said.”

She leans back and pats his face. “You’re growing up so much. Look at how much nicer you are.”

Harry blushes and she laughs at him as she runs to catch the bus. He watches the bus wink out of sight and sighs.

It was in part thanks to YN he’s grown so much, she forced him out of his shell and pointed out all the ways his intellect can get in the way of being a nice person. And being out of school helped the rest of the way; Harry’s contemplative on his walk back home.

***

“What about orange juice and biscuits?” Mary asks.

Harry thinks about it before shaking his head, “No. it doesn’t make sense.”

The two were having dinner together in the caf. Ever since the party last month they’ve spent more time together in between classes. They weren’t dating but there was a heavy chemistry between them. Harry didn’t realize, Mary was just waiting for them to make the first move.

“Crisps and jam?”

“Why?” Harry scrunches his face imagining the weird food combination. Mary was reading off an article she was reading when he sat down at her table.

She shrugs, “Apparently it’s moreish.”

Harry liked Mary a lot but he sometimes felt he paled next to her, like if he asked her out and she really got to know him she might not like him as much. So he kept her at arm’s length.

“What’s more-ish is the bile coming up my throat thinking of that.”

“A lot of these are pregnancy cravings!” Mary says. “What do we know?”

“Who’s pregnant?” Flo asks as she sits beside Mary. Mikey joins the table too.

“Nobody’s pregnant,” Harry corrects. “We’re just reading an article.”

“No actually, the computer science prof that everyone hates is pregnant. She’s not teaching next semester anyone who’s interested should take it then.” Flo informs the group.

“Can you imagine?” Mary turns to her. “Being so hated that the one semester you’re not teaching there’s a massive waiting list on your course?”

The group begins to discuss this particular prof and Harry fades into a listener. Mary catches his eye a few times and sends a bright smile his way and Harry keeps it tucked within.

Now a couple months into uni Harry was starting to find a rhythm that he was able to ride. He had more friends than he’s ever had, regularly went to parties and hung out with them, Rod and him were good friends by some way of YN, and uni challenged Harry’s brain in a good way.

Him and YN didn’t hang out very much but he often saw her at parties, in the Newsroom, or if he came back to his dorm while she napped. If had become part of their regular schedule for her to use his dorm to nap and Harry was more than happy to let her. Rod was too—even happier than Harry sometimes.

“Are you going to the Halloween thing Harry?” Mikey asks.

“Huh?” Harry had zoned out. “Uh I think so. Yeah. Why not?”

“Awesome,” Flo says. “We should go together.”

“We’re not doing matching costumed Flo,” Harry says for the tenth time this month.

“Why not?!” She cries. The table becomes noisy again as they argue the same thing they’ve argued since October started. Harry feels at home.

***

Just finished my mid-term, Harry texts Mary. We should celebrate with drinks later.

Yeah after I finish mine later today, would love to. Mary texts back.

Harry smiles at his phone and switches chat to YN.

Are you still at mine?

She doesn’t reply and Harry figures she’s either sleeping or maybe writing a mid-term. He knew she had one later this afternoon—the same class as Mary.

Uni turned out to be a small world, he’d found a few people he already knew in these halls and somehow new friends and old acquaintances had all mingled together.

The good thing was now that he regularly wore contacts and started putting in some effort in how he looked, a lot of his old classmates either walked past him with no recognition or spoke to him like they weren’t the reason he had one friend in secondary.

It still took some adjusting to: here he was, bottom-rung at his old school, asking someone at the top rung if she was still sleeping in his bed. It was mad.

Harry turns the key of his door and freezes at what’s before him.

His roommate Roderick sits on his bed with his back to the wall and someone looking very much like—no it was YN because her jacket lay on his bed, straddling his lap. YN and his roommate were making out.

“What is this?” Harry asks when his senses return. “What’s going on?”

“Oh hey Har,” Rod looks past YN. He was so casual, Harry felt a little crazy at thinking this was a big deal.

“Oh,” YN turns and unhooks her legs from around Rod. “You’re done your exam. How was it?”

Were they insane it was he just a prude? Harry’s roommate was making out with his friend. That regularly crashed in his room. Has this been going on for a while?

“Good. Fine. YN can we talk?” Harry asks.

“Sure,” YN climbs off the bed and fixes her lipstick whilst passing the mirror. Harry nods to the hall and she steps out. “What’s up?”

“What…what’s going on there?”

“What? Rod?”

“Obviously!”

“Oh my god Har, it’s nothing serious we were just making out.”

“For how long?”

“I dunno? Why do you want to know?”

“No like how long have you two been hooking up?”

“We were just making out today why’ve you got your panties in a twist?”

“So this is the first time?”

“No…we made out at a party last week. Anyway I was just studying on your bed after getting a nap in and he walked in. It got flirty, one thing led to another-“

“I’m not comfortable with this.” Harry clenched his teeth. He didn’t know why but it felt wrong they were doing this in his room. After he’d opened it up for her to give her a break from the constant commuting. What if things go sour between them and Rod takes it out on him? What if she ruins the vibe of their dorm?

“Harry,” YN lays a hand on his shoulder with a serious face. “You know I’ve kissed boys before. Done even more than-“

“This isn’t a joke,” Harry brushes her hand off. “I don’t feel comfortable with you doing…that in the room.”

“So now you’re deciding who I can see-“

“No!” Harry shouts a bit too loud and someone on the other end of the hall looks up. “No. You know that’s not what I’m saying. I don’t care who you hook up with YN. Just not in my room with my roommate. Do whatever you want with him at parties but not in my room. I don’t care what you do. Just…not in my room.”

Harry shuts up once he realizes he’s repeating himself. He hopes she understands.

“Fine.” She does her classic move. She shuts down. “I’ll be a devout virgin in your room. Outside I’ll be the wild child I am.”

“YN don’t twist this,” Harry sighs. “Why do you do that?”

“I’ve got an exam in a couple hours.” She opens the door. “I should go.”

“Already?” Rod says as they walk in.

“Harry’s made a request about us,” YN shoots him a look and Harry wants to take that look and throw it back at her. He was going to break it to Rod differently knowing how tenuous the balance of their friendship was. But now she’s just dropped it like a bomb in the middle of their dorm.

“What?” Rod looks at Harry.

Harry flushes but he tries to look at Rod when he tells him, “I think it’s weird you two making out here. You can do that anywhere just not here. My roommate and my friend…it’s weird.”

Rod blinks, Harry thinks he’s zoned out until he shrugs. “Nee bother. I respect it Harry. I’ll catch you out there then YN.”

YN looks between the boys, her hands holding her bag are curled into fists and with one last angry look to Harry she exits the room.

“Doesn’t look like she’s too chuffed with you man.” Rod pipes in from behind.

She wasn’t chuffed with him half the time, Harry was now used to it.

***

The Halloween party is packed like sardines and Harry considers leaving. Mary had come down with a flu and she’d also been avoiding him the last week. Gabe said she’s probably tired of him not doing anything about their mutual crush, Flo thinks she needs space, and YN says she found someone new to fantasize about but Harry thinks the last one is mostly to get under his skin.

Ever since that day in his dorm YN’s gone back to being bristly with Harry. It doesn’t bother him most days but it does frustrate him on a few.

“Harry!” A familiar face waves him down. The party was in off-campus student res and it was decorated like somebody had gone batshit on Amazon. Just walking toward Sophie, Harry had gotten a faceful of smoke, fake cobwebs, and bubbles for some reason.

“Soph! How’s it going?” Harry hadn’t seen Sophie since she quit Newsroom a few weeks ago. With midterms and club deadlines clashing she decided she couldn’t do both and left the club.

“So much better,” her brightened eyes and large smile fixed on her face clued Harry in that she’d already started drinking. “But I miss the Newsroom crew. How is everyone?”

“We’re fine—you know you could still hang out with us? We’re around.”

“Ugh I know,” she sways towards him. “But I feel like I hardly have time to be social. Social. Does that sound weird—so-shul?”

“I think you’re a bit drunk Soph,” Harry points to her cup.

“Oh yeah,” she laughs. “What about you? You don’t even have a drink!”

“I…I was gonna go get one.” Harry lies. He was actually gonna go home.

“Okay! Someone had shots going.”

She grabs his hand and it tingles. She races around until she finds the half-empty vodka and demands Harry do shots with her. He nearly chokes on it and coughs uncontrollably which sets Soph off.

“Are you alright?” She slaps his back harder than she looks like she could. “You need a chaser hold up!”

She disappears behind the table and pulls out lime wedges from god knows where. She instructs Harry how to do it even though he didn’t want any more but she doesn’t relent.

The second time is a lot smoother but Harry realizes he really did not like vodka either.

“Soph! Har! You two know each other?!” Roderick suddenly walks in on them, crashing the two with an arm around both. “Small worlds!”

“Hey Rod,” Soph’s glow dims a little.

“Now what kind of hello is that? And what are you supposed to be?”

“Scream queen right?” Harry asks as Soph says “Scream Queen duh?”

Rod frowns and takes his arms down. “Well I can make you scream, qu-“

“Alright,” Harry and Soph eye each other. Harry has been to enough parties with Rod to know what level of drunk meant what level of no filter. And it was best they left him alone now. “We’ll see you around mate.”

“Thank you,” Soph whispers in his ear as she loops her arm and they walk away.

“What’s going on with you two?” Harry asks. He’s learned enough to know Sophie soured at the sight of him.

“Really?” She asks.

“Really—what?”

“Him and YN were hooking up a few weeks ago. He was just…ekgh.”

“That’s not a word,” Harry laughs.

“I know!” She throws her hands up, one of which holds a knife.

“Alright,” Harry holds his up. “It’s a word.”

She throws her head back and laughs, then wields the knife against his throat.

“Woah, Soph.”

“It’s fake!” She laughs again.

“Yeah thank god,” Harry lowers it and she tumbles into him with the pressure she had put on it.

“Oops,” she smiles up at him. “Hey how d’you know Scream Queens?”

Blood rushes to Harry’s head as she looks up at him through her lashes. Soph was beautiful—she always had been. But tonight she looks particularly beautiful. It could be the vodka. But he wanted to kiss her.

“I watched it over the summer with…” Harry had watched it with YN. This was YN’s friend. Maybe he shouldn’t kiss her.

“Hm?” She inches her arm up and loops it around his neck. Her head tilts to one side and Harry feels the vodka flood his brain while his blood rushes another direction. “You’ve got really nice eyes.”

“So do you.” Harry barely gets out.

“Our babies would have amazing eyes.” She says with complete seriousness. Obviously she was drunk.

“Yeah. Uhm,” Harry tries to push her away. He does, or he tells himself that. But when she stands on the balls of her feet Harry felt it was rude to not meet her halfway. Not press his lips against her strawberry-flavoured plush ones. It felt amazing.

“D’you wanna go somewhere?” She whispers in his ear.

Harry doesn’t want to. He just wants her to shut up so they can keep kissing.

He leads her gently to the wall and continues kissing her, displaying what he’s learned in his two months at uni. And the noises she makes does unspeakable things to Harry.

“C’mon!” She urges to him. “Surely one of the bedrooms are free!”

At the thought his mind clears for a single moment. Should he be doing this? Was his first time really going to be at a Halloween party with Soph?

“I don’t have any-“

“That’s alright!” She tugs him back to her. “Let’s just see where the night takes us.”

“You’ve got to lose the knife though,” Harry says against her lips.

She laughs and tucks it into his back pocket. “Okay?”

Her laugh scatters away the remaining rational thought and he follows her wherever she takes him.

***

“Alright team,” the head of Newspaper stands addressing the crowd. “This has been an incredible year of reporting. I think we’ve done a fantastic job and I want to commend you all on your efforts and time lent to our humble club. Our final edition is going to print today, and the year’s final episode releases this Friday. So do give it a listen. Next year we’ll be back invigorated with more stories to tell. Have a great holiday all!”

Harry’s eyes roam the room, feeling content at being part of this hard-working group.

Despite only a semester on the Newspaper Harry felt really bonded with everyone. The team was big, split into print and podcast and yet despite not knowing everyone, the passion for stories and reporting was palpable. Especially release weeks.

Over the semester Harry had gotten even closer to Florence and Gabriel, it made Newsroom feel even more collaborative. And they often grabbed a bite after Newsroom or they would sometimes go to Gabriel’s and play video games. YN would join occasionally.

YN, only being a first year, was often frustrated being sidelined by seniors. Her friends often heard about it after particular Newsroom meetings. Still, YN on the podcast team made waves and Harry knew because her name was often on a lot of projects or on the lips of a lot of seniors. It made him proud to be her friend, often it reminded him of how he used to think about her. But Newsroom was a perfect example of how they both had separate strengths and how they flourished in each of them. He’s glad he realized that last year.

Harry’s eyes continue to dart to the door, checking his phone. It was weird y/n didn’t show up today when she should have. Especially the final meeting.

When the group goes for dinner in the caf Harry spots their friend Sophie.

What started as hooking up at Halloween ended in a few other hook-ups over the last month or so. Each time Harry felt incredibly guilty but Soph was really nice to him and nice to kiss too. Plus, Mary had stopped hanging out with him without another word and he wasn’t exactly sure what he did for that. So he’d given her space.

“Y/n wasn’t at today’s meeting, shame.” Flo says to Soph. “D’you know where she is?l

“No, that’s strange. I saw her earlier today?” Soph looks at the group.

“Me too,” Gabe adds. “She’s around.”

“Yeah it is strange,” Harry comments. “She’s usually on time, or at least sends us a text if she can’t make it.”

“I hope everything’s okay,” Flo scrunches her brows.

“I’m sure it is.” Sophie reassures her.

She turns to Harry with a secret smile, one hand sliding onto his thigh. “Any plans after this?”

“Oh!” Harry startles as her hand slides higher up his thigh. This was so…public. “Maybe. Uhm. Soph can we talk?”

He’d wanted to talk to her all week but had been so busy with exams. He thought about it a lot and really didn’t think sneaking behind y/n’s back with her friend was right. Especially after he asked her not to hook up with Rod in his room and she stopped.

Sophie shrugs and follows him off to the side.

“We need to talk,” Harry starts, he waves between both of them. “About this.”

“Yeah?” Sophie asks.

“Yeah. And. About Y/n.”

Sophie just notices the serious tone to Harry’s voice. She stops playing with her hair and stands taller. “Okay. What about her?”

Harry takes a deep breath, trying to articulate his thoughts. “I’ve just been thinking with us being her friend, she doesn’t know about us. I don’t want to sneak behind her back give her another reason to have trust issues—she’s been through a lot.”

“Yeah,” Soph agrees. “Y/n’s strong. She’s got like, that tough quiet strength she just exudes it always. I admire that about her.”

Harry nods, a small smile tugging on his lips. “Exactly. She’s really loyal to her friends, and I don’t want to screw anything up. I just…don’t think she’d approve of this.”

Sophie’s eyes soften with understanding. “Oh.”

“What?”

“You…care about her don’t you?”

“Well uhm yeah she’s my friend I-I yeah-“

“Like care about her.” Soph cuts off Harry’s stuttering. He felt like an idiot.

“Uhhh…”

“Be honest,” Soph curls the side of her mouth. “It’s not like we’re dating I don’t like care if you do.”

“Yeah fine. More than I probably should yeah,” he sighs. “But she’s made it clear we’re nothing more than friends. And I’m fine with that but we go way back and she’s helped me though a lot. I just don’t want to lose her. As a friend. But you’re a really great person too Soph I don’t want to lose. And I don’t want it to get complicated here.”

“I get it,” Sophie shrugs. “But it doesn’t have to be complicated. Or a secret. We’re just having fun!”

“Yeah I just don’t want to jeopardize anything.”

Unbeknownst to Harry and Sophie, y/n enters the caf then and spots the two before spotting their usual table. She heads towards Harry and Sophie first, curious as to why they were separated in what looked like an intense discussion.

“Fine. I get it!” Sophie continues.

“I’ve screwed up with her enough.” Harry says as y/n gets within hearing distance. “I hate feeling like I’m walking on egshells around her.”

“YN’s a tough cookie,” Soph agrees. “I’d be scared to be on her bad side.”

“I’ve been on it. Kinda made my life hell. It’s like facing a lion with just a stick.”

“You poor thing,” Soph touches Harry’s cheek and laughs just as her phone vibrates. “Oh that’s Emmy hold on.”

Harry smiles as she steps away but it dies as y/n steps into view.

“Oh y/n…how long-“

“Walking on eggshells? Didn’t realize being around me was such a burden-“

“No y/n that’s not the-“

“Save it Harry,” her eyes flicker with hurt.

“No seriously!” Harry tries to explain. “I wasn’t saying it like that!”

“You compared me to a fucking lion!”

“Let me explain-“

“After everything I told you about me I thought we got each other Har-“ Y/n cuts herself off as her throat closes with tears. She was not the type to cry in front of anyone, especially a boy. She waits for the feeling to subside. “It’s pretty clear where I stand. And by the way, talking me down isn’t going to make you look good with Soph.”

“Y/n please,” Harry feels her slipping away again and he envisions taking her by the shoulder and giving her a good shake. He hated when she did this, like the tides at a beach she retreated so quickly all he was left with was sand. She never left enough time for someone to grab her.

“Just…whatever Harry.”

With that she turns on her heel and walks away, the noise in the caf suddenly comes roaring in on either side of Harry. He wants to turn the volume dial all the way down and run after her but he knows neither are possible.

“What was that?” Sophie reappears.

“She heard the wrong end of our conversation.” Harry says with dread. “I didn’t mean for her to hear it like that. She must think…I don’t even know what she must think.”

“Mmm,” Sophie squeezes Harry’s shoulder. “Just give her space. I’ll ask her what she heard and explain don’t worry. She’ll come around.”

Harry wasn’t so sure.

***

Harry watches as Mary enters the bar and looks around. For a moment he can just be another bloke seeing Mary for the first time wondering what she’s like with her cropped hair and animated brown eyes. He feels his heart picking up speed the longer he watches her—he can’t believe it took him this long to ask her out officially.

Although it wasn’t entirely his fault.

Harry didn’t think Mary would ever be interested in him on a deeper level—he definitely wouldn’t date himself. And when Mary began to make excuses about hanging out last year, Harry took that as a big glaring sign he was right, instead of just asking her outright.

Then there was the tryst with Soph. And the fallout with y/n who cut him out of his life like she was scissors through wrapping paper. Harry acted like it didn’t hurt him but it did; after all the time they spent together he didn’t know how y/n could be so cold with people she called her friends. She didn’t even care about his explanation.

But Harry’s sister had given him an earful one night during Christmas break, about dating the girl he was really into and not being such a coward. It took him a whole month to work up the courage but on Valentine’s Day he’d asked Mary to be his. It was cheesy but she loved it. They’d hung out a few times and last week Harry asked her to be his girlfriend. He was officially in a relationship!

Mary catches his wave from the front and she breaks into her toothy smile that squeezed his heart every time it was directed his way. Falling in love made the whole world feel soppy. Harry’d never experienced something like this; in a world of learning and achievements this was one he felt really proud to get to.

“What are you smiling so hard about?” Mary teases as she reaches him. Harry kisses her and keeps her hand in his as they sit.

“Just this girl, can’t stop thinking about her.”

“Must be a lucky lady,” Mary grins. She was head over heels too.

“Nah I think I’m the lucky one.”

“God,” Mary pulls her hand away and presses them to her blushing cheeks. “You’re damn charming when you want to be Harry.”

That wasn’t a word anyone would ever use to describe him. Yet Harry feels over the moon to hear it. Here was proof he was changing—he was finally growing up.

The new couple have a few drinks with their food, they talk about school, friends, and the upcoming Easter Break.

“I’m heading home too,” Mary was originally from Liverpool. “My mum’s sister’s coming in from Australia for Easter. She’s got these little rascals I haven’t seen in years so I’ll have to see how big they’ve gotten now.”

“Are those the rascals who stole your Taylor Swift poster?”

“Signed poster,” Mary corrects him. “And yes. As payback because I caught then stealing their dad’s smokes. It’s been 3 years and I still haven’t gotten that back.”

“You really think they kept it?”

“Well we’re gonna find out,” Mary grinds her knuckles into the palm of her other hand. “I’m older and stronger now I can take them.”

Harry laughs, he loved seeing Mary when she was joking like this. Otherwise she was a bit like him when it came to studying and being serious.

“Well you’ve got a boyfriend now. I’ll make the trip if it means getting that poster back.”

“Would you!?” Mary reaches out to him. “That’s actually so sweet.”

Harry’s chest fills with warmth as she kisses him, and that sparks a different hunger. They pay their tab and head out hand in hand back to his dorm.

Rod isn’t in and they take advantage of that.

Roderick and Harry had continued their friendship despite y/n disappearing from his dorm. They’d gotten to the point where Harry declined a couple parties and Rod didn’t take it personally, and Harry actually helped Rod out with some of his studies. They worked out together and there was a better balance.

He did see y/n at parties sometimes. A couple times with Rod too. He tried to talk to her the first couple times but she always danced away just as he got to her. So he stopped trying. She was frustrating.

“Hey,” Mary kisses his jaw. “Where’d you go?”

“Sorry,” Harry had gotten lost in his head again. “I think Rod’s gonna be back soon-“

“Oh,” Mary sighs. “Okay. My roommate’s a shut in, too bad we can never go to mine.”

“If I asked him to not come home he wouldn’t,” Harry realizes Mary wanted to cross some bases too late. He really should stick to being in his body more often. He should have messaged Rod as soon as they headed here.

“Maybe next time,” Mary smiles sweetly. She wipes the side of Harry’s lips with her thumb, that’s when he realizes she was wearing lipstick. It was a subtle colour but not as much when it’s smeared on her chin. Something about seeing it like that feels endearing to him.

“Until then,” he pulls her back to him and kisses her hard, she responds in kind. Just as Harry slips his hand below her tee the doorknob jiggles. He sighs, “Fuck.”

“It’s alright,” Mary whispers below him. “That was fun.”

He peers back down at her, her lipstick is even worse but she’s looking up at him like she’s seeing him for the first time. Note to self show Mary how much I like her, Harry realizes.

This time he uses his thumb to swipe at the smudged lipstick. She smiles at him like he hung the stars.

***

Harry would have taken the train home last night to avoid the crowds but it was his last day with Mary before being apart for 2 weeks and he wanted to make the most of it. So now he pays the consequences with a packed train and barely any leg room.

The guy next to him plays some video game on his phone, the person across from that guy is already napping with her mouth open. Harry waits to see who takes the seat across and his heart drops when they finally take the seat and look up at him.

“For fuck’s sake,” she mutters.

Y/n. Of course it would be her. She’s cut her hair since the last time he saw her—now she has a fringe and he’s pretty sure layers with how much they flick outwards from her face.

“Y/n,” Harry greets her. This was going to be one long train ride. Although he wasn’t sure what she was doing here—did she move on campus this semester?

“Harry…” she says with a studied coolness.

“Nice to see you.”

“Is it?” She asks. “Look I’ll just find another-“

She gets up but Harry’s faster. He stretches out his long leg to block the corridor. She’s stuck within the 4-seater.

“What are you doing?”

“Keeping you in,” Harry says with a small smile. She would be forced to sit in front of him, he would finally be able to get her to talk.

“Harry don’t be so immature move your leg.”

“That’s your seat just take it y/n.” He motions to it.

“Harry!” She tries to climb over it but Harry just raises his leg and it throws her off balance. She nearly falls backwards but Harry springs up fast enough to balance her. That’s how he finds himself standing in her personal space, one hand on her lower back and the other clutching her arm.

“Sorry,” he mumbles.

“Get. Off of me.” She replies.

He lets her go and she actually sits back down. Harry glances around and flushes as he realizes everyone around them had started staring.

“Nice hair,” Harry tries again as the train leaves the station. By then they’d been sitting in silence for at least 15 minutes.

“Yeah. Whatever.” Y/n brushes her bangs.

“So are you on campus now?” Harry continues casually.

This both surprises and irritates y/n. Usually he was very sensitive to when she was being a bitch to him, but now it seemed he was getting some enjoyment out of talking to her despite her attempt at staying cold; something had changed with him.

“No.” She answers as clipped as possible.

“So you’re taking the train home today because…”

“God Harry,” y/n sighs. “I had my last exam and stayed out too late. Now stop asking me questions like I’m in a bloody interview. Leave me alone!”

“Isn’t that what I’ve been doing the last couple months,” Harry grumbles. The look she gives him could cut him in half.

She studies him, what’s changed she wonders. He still didn’t meet her eye completely but he was challenging her a lot more. She wouldn’t have minded it as much if she wasn’t recovering from a killer hangover.

“So won’t be hard to continue.” She glares.

And that’s how the remaining hour or so is spent sitting across from his friend or ex-friend, whatever. In silence. Apart from a few glances her way he buries his nose in his book and texts Mary as she boards her own train.

Of course, they get off on the same platform and when Harry’s mum catches sight of y/n she insists on giving her a ride home since y/n was just going to take the bus. The two of them sit in silence as Harry’s mum asks them a dozen questions. The ride ends with an invite for dinner and a non-committal yes from y/n.

“You guys get into a fight or something?” Harry’s mum asks as they drive to their home.

“Or something,” Harry mumbles.

“It was like the the bloody DMZ in here.”

Harry shrugs. “It’s just y/n being y/n.”

“I saw her a couple weeks ago at M&S,” Harry’s mum continues. “She didn’t look so good I offered her a ride but she said she was waiting for her sister to finish her shift. D’you know what’s going on with her?”

Harry thought about it but couldn’t think of a single thing. Y/n kept her cards very close to her chest.

“No. She doesn’t share much.”

“Well do you ask?”

“No but even if I did she would just shut me out,” Harry suddenly feels defensive.

“It’s still nice to be asked,” his mum says. “Knowing someone cares enough.”

Harry looks at his mum, the words she’s saying makes sense. But it surprises him to hear them and realize just how much it made sense. How come he’s never realized that?

Maybe he was a shittier friend than he realized.

So Harry gives it a few days and shows up at y/n’s house. This time he knew exactly where to find her.

“You are?” One of y/n’s brothers answers the door. He was a couple years older than them.

“Harry I uh-is y/n home?”

“Maybe,” his brother continues to scrutinize Harry until he squirms. “Wait here.”

He waits for an eternity, sitting down on the stoop while he does. Finally the door opens behind him and y/n joins him on the stoop.

She’s in a blue sweater and pyjama pants. Harry’s surprised to see little powerpuff girls all over them. His sister used to watch that Friday evenings.

“What’re you doing here?”

“I just want to talk y/n,” Harry had practiced looking her in the eye. Just talking to her like a friend. He looks at her now. “You’ve been icing me out for months now it’s unfair. Sophie told me she told you what we were talking about, how you walked in when it sounded wrong and you’re still mad about it?”

She stares at him for a beat before sighing.

As she exhales she grows smaller in front of him until she’s drooped over, her arms circle her knees, and her head rests atop them—she’s the size of a pumpkin.

“I’m not mad at that,” she admits. “Sophie explained you didn’t mean it like that. I was more offended just at the fact that you two were talking about me. But I didn’t realize you two were close…”

“Yeah. I’m sorry about that-“

“That,” she cuts him off. “Is mostly why I was upset with you. You made such a big deal that I was hooking up with Rod meanwhile you were banging one of my friends? Behind my back?”

“We weren’t-I wouldn’t say bang-“

“Doesn’t matter Har!” Y/n sits up again and Harry feels the clouds break for a sec as she uses his nickname. “That wasn’t a great way to find out. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Harry didn’t know. Or he did: he didn’t think him and Soph were going to be more than a one time thing and when it was, he was ashamed a bit. He didn’t think he would go to college and have a casual relationship as his first one. It wasn’t something he necessarily wanted public knowledge.

“Maybe I was scared. I dunno. I just know I’m really sorry.”

They sit in silence for a few seconds, Harry hears the hoover turn on in yn’s house.

“Why’ve you got to be so fucking honest for,” y/n finally says with a sigh. “Makes it so hard to be mad at you when you’re all sincere and vulnerable.”

“Sorry,” Harry repeats.

“Stop it!” YN exclaims.

“Fine!” Harry’s heart pounds. “I don’t give a fuck about how you felt. Happy?”

Y/n freezes and slowly turns to stare at him. A smile ever so slowly tugs at the corner of her lips. She almost looks proud?

“Harry!” She grins. Then she punches him square in the bicep. Then gasps. “Have you been working out?”

Harry had been; in between class and clubs and dating, he started working out last winter with Rod.

“There’s a lot you don’t know about me y/n,” Harry jokes and y/n snorts. The two look at each other at the sound of it before bursting out in laughter.

“I don’t know where that came from!” Y/n says through laughter. “I literally snorted!”

“You sounded like Peppa Pig,” Harry also has tears in his eyes. He missed hanging out with y/n.

Once they get ahold of their laughter Harry bumps his shoulder into hers. “It’s nice you’re talking to me again.”

She looks like she wants to say something to Harry, her eyes grow intense as she fixes onto him, her chin wobbling, but then it passes. Harry ignores the spark of disappointment.

“Yeah we’ll see.” She says with a half smile.

All was right in the world again, Harry thought.

He should have known, though, being friends with y/n would never be that simple.

*

TAGLIST: hmu if you want to be added

[lurochar]

Preview for Domino Effect (Pt. 2)

As an apology for taking so long to get it up and posted, here's a little preview for The Domino Effect (Pt. 2)

------------------------------

There is a knock on the door.

Mimzy sneers, not bothering to greet or even look at whomever has come knocking at her ruined club. Why bother to knock? The doors are hanging off the hinges and one can just walk right in, there’s no need to pretend to be polite.

Another knock.

And another.

“Oh, for fuck’s sake!” Mimzy finally throws her drink away, not caring when the glass shattered into pieces somewhere behind her. “What!? What do you fucking want!? As you see with your fucking eyeballs, we’re closed, so beat it, you motherfuc–” Her mouth slams shut when she notices just who is standing at the entrance of her trashed club.

Vox, the Overlord.

What the hell would the owner of VoxTek Enterprises want with her?

“Well, hello!” Vox makes sure his voice is charming and his smile is winning and that everything about his appearance is utter perfection. “Now, I’m sure you know who I am, so I’ll just get straight to the point,” Vox pointedly ignores Mimzy when she clearly rolls her eyes. “Mimzy, am I right?”

Mimzy just raises a fine brow and scowls at him, clearly not impressed with him at all.

“Your… club here, well – it’s seen much better days, hasn’t it?” Vox simpered. “And I’m well aware of what caused this… unfortunate event.”

“Aren’t you going to get straight to the point or not?” Mimzy huffed. “I don’t have all day! You Overlords really love to hear yourselves talk, don’t you?”

Vox keeps his smile pleasant even as electricity dances through his claws. He has to wonder how this bimbo is even still alive with that mouth of hers. “For now, I just want a little bit of information. Nothing much. If you help me now, I certainly will be inclined to help you with your club.”

That catches Mimzy’s attention and she turns fully to Vox, crossing her arms and tapping her foot. “All right, I’ll hear you out.”

“This may be a… strange question, most everyone is very aware of the Radio Demon’s preference, or lack of preference. So, it surely must have been a shock to everyone when he came cavorting back with a pretty little thing on his arm.” Vox clenched his sparking hands. “I was so fucking shocked I had to reboot myself.”

“What do you want?” Mimzy’s voice was growing wary and her tapping foot grew faster.

“Just as I said, a little information! Nothing much, just whatever you can give me about that girl Alastor seems so… fond of.” Vox feels his screen glitch and hopes Mimzy doesn’t catch his slip-up.

Mimzy was already backing up. “No. Already poked that bear and nearly got myself killed for it.” She eyed Vox with a neutral expression. “I’m warning ya now. You may be an Overlord yourself, but if you mess with that sugar of his, well – I don’t even want to be in this Ring of Hell when Alastor finds out you thought so much as touching a strand of that girl’s hair.”

So very interesting.

[summer-nights19]

Hello^^! I was wondering how would GoM (seperately) react to y/n being stalked online/offline by a friend she made and thought was good but she was mistaken....?

Sure Anon :) enjoyy

GoM react to a creepy online friend

cw: mentions of catcalling/sexual harassment/nice-guyness

You'd first met him online, through a mutual acquaintance. He'd started talking to you and pretty soon, you guys became good friends. You had a lot in common both on and off the internet, and talking to him felt very easy. Before you knew it, you'd opened up to him about your personal life and your struggles - he was always there to comfort you, to listen. It never even crossed your mind that he could have ulterior intentions, despite your boyfriend constantly being very wary of the whole situation. One day, you'd decided to meet up at a local cafe to hang out in person. However, it didn't go quite like you'd expected...

Akashi

Akashi had been skeptical of your "friend" from the very beginning. Why would you need guy friends ? And online ones at that ? He'd always had a feeling that this guy was a creep, but you'd played it off as him being jealous. This was the same guy who would act weird any time you so much as mentioned another man

You didn't tell him about the meeting because you already knew how he'd react, so you just came up with an excuse about meeting a friend at a cafe to study

When you got there, you'd felt a little nervous, and that feeling only got worse when you heard someone wolf whistling behind you. You turned around, ready to give them a piece of your mind, before realising that you recognised that face. It was the one in the profile picture of the friend you'd been texting for months. Your heart quickly sank as you realised you'd made a mistake

He was still ogling you and getting all up in your personal space while making lude comments when the door to the cafe slammed open. A moment later, your "friend" was on his knees and you were looking into your boyfriend's crimson eyes

"Let's get out of here, Y/N. Living trash like this doesn't deserve to even breathe the same air as you,".

Still shaking, you followed him out of the little cafe and into the city streets. You'd walked in silence for a few minutes before you allowed the tears to spill.

"Akashi, I'm so sorry. I lied to you and put myself in danger all because I was too stupid to-"

Akashi wrapped his arms around your waist and kissed you fiercely before you could finish your sentence. Although you were still shaking slightly, you felt yourself growing hot.

"That guy being a degenerate is in no way your fault. I'll always protect you, Y/N. I look after what's mine," he wiped your tears away with a smooth finger and you allowed yourself to smile despite everything. As Akashi interlinked your arm with his own and led you through the street back home, you realised that even though you still felt shaken, you would be ok with him by your side.

Aomine

He was skeptical at first (partially due to possessiveness - why did you need to be texting some guy online when you had him ?) but, when you told him about the meetup, he didn't want to be too controlling and say no. It was your life after all, and he wanted you to have good friends

So he agreed, but only on the condition that he could come and make sure you were safe. Although you were reluctant at first, claiming he was being overprotective, you caved in eventually, and the two of you set off together to meet your friend

When you finally got to the park you'd agreed to meet at, you recognised him immediately from his profile picture and waved at him. Your stomach started to churn a bit when he walked up to you with a suggestive smirk, eyeing you up like a starved man would a three course meal

He reached out his arms for a hug, but before he could even touch you, Aomine ran up to him and punched him square in the jaw

"She's mine, so keep your hands to yourself," He said, while grabbing the guy's shirt and shoving him to the ground. "Don't come near her unless you want a broken bone,"

And with that, Aomine wrapped his arm around your waist and led you away, leaving the guy knocked out cold on the floor

Kise

He was pretty chill about the idea of you having an online friend at first, but he got a little jealous when you started mentioning meeting up - was he not enough for you?

All the same, he didn't want to come across as insecure, so he said yes anyway when you told him about the meetup

However, he told you you could call him if your friend turned out to be weird

As you arrived at the mall you two had decided to meet at, you were convinced that Kise was just being paranoid, so you took your seat on a bench in the food court to wait. A couple of minutes later, your "friend" showed up with a small box in his hand and wearing a massive smirk on his face.

"Y/N ? You're even prettier in real life ! Here, I got you something to celebrate our first date !" He thrust the box at you, his smirk growing even wider.

Your stomach dropped and it took all your energy not to visibly cringe. It appeared that he'd fundamentally misunderstood the situation - you already had a boyfriend ! And, even if Kise hadn't been in your life, you couldn't have said yes to a guy you felt no romantic attraction towards.

"Sorry, I think you misunderstood the situation," you said as evenly as you could. "I don't like you like that,". As you were speaking, you gently returned the small velvet box, placing it in his hands.

"What do you mean ? So you led me on only to reject me ? Why do women always think they can do this ?! Especially to nice guys like-,"

His little monologue was cut off by your phone ringing loudly. You gave him an apologetic smile and picked up, breathing a sigh of relief when you saw Kise's name flash on your screen.

"Hey, what's up ?" you asked, trying to keep your voice as calm possible.

"I had a feeling that the meeting might not be going well, so I decided to check up on you, Y/N-cchi". Hearing his concerned voice brought you close to crying tears of gratitude

"Yes, I didn't realise you'd need my help with that. I'll get there immediately," you replied, hoping he'd get the hint. The guy next to you was frowning more and more with each sentence.

"See you at mine in 20," Kise said before you hung up and looked at your "friend" apologetically.

"Sorry, my friend's in a difficult situation and I need to go help them as quickly as possible," you stumbled over your words, muttering another apology before running in the direction of the exit, leaving your pursuer frozen in astonishment behind you.

Murasakibara

When you first mentioned your friend, he was not thrilled - not just because he was jealous of all your guy friends (something he routinely denied) but because he thought that this guy probably had dubious intentions

This was why you decided not to tell him about it when you went to meet up with your friend at a cafe after school one day - you'd made up some excuse about needing to go home early to study and rushed off as soon as the bell had gone

By the time you'd reached the cafe, he was already there waiting for you on a loveseat next to the window

As soon as you sat down next to him, he put his arm around your shoulder and let his leg graze your own. You started to panic, trying to move away from him, but he only tightened his grip and smiled at you. Suddenly, the door to the cafe slammed open and Murasakibara and Himuro came in heading straight for the counter.

"Atsushi !" You called out to him before you'd even realised what you were doing. He often came here just before practice to buy snacks, and you were insanely grateful you'd forgotten that detail

He turned around, his expression quickly changing from surprised to furious as he saw how close your "friend" was to you, despite the fact that you were clearly trying to get away. Fuming left his spot in the queue and strode to your table, before grabbing the guy's shirt and slamming him on the floor. Although you normally weren't one to endorse violence of any kind, you were very glad to be free of him.

"Let's get out of here," he said, taking your hand in his considerably larger one.

"B-but don't you have practice ?" you stuttered, still shaken by the ordeal.

"Fuck that. I'm all yours tonight,"

Midorima

Midorima was jealous as soon as you mentioned your new friend even though he tried his best to hide it. It was very unbecoming after all, and he'd hate for you to think he was insecure

However, as soon as you mentioned meeting up with this guy, he said that he'd be coming along just to make sure you were safe

Although you thought it was unnecessary, you agreed in an attempt to pacify him, so you two set off together for the library you were supposed to be meeting him at.

He recognised you as soon as you entered. However, his expression quickly morphed into a scowl when he saw another guy standing next to you and staring him down.

"Who's that next to you, Y/N ? Why have you brought another man ?" He asked, gritting his teeth. You could tell that this had probably been a bad idea.

"Oh ! This is my boyfriend, Shintaro. I thought it would be fun to hang out all together," you said, pasting a smile on your face and trying to inject enthusiasm on your voice. However, Midorima was having none of it.

"I had long suspected your intentions to be disingenuous, and now I can say with certainty that they are. Now leave. I'm trying to take my girlfriend on a date,".

You looked at Midorima. If looks could kill, your "friend" would have been out cold on the floor.

"Alright man. It's not worth it just for some hoe anyway," he'd said the last part under his breath, but he hadn't been quiet enough. Midorima tripped him up as he was heading for the exit, before looking down at him with a disgusted frown.

"I suggest that, unless you want more serious "accidents" to happen, you stay away from Y/N and keep your mouth closed,"

Before your "friend" even had time to reply, Midorima put his hand on the small of your back and led you away, looking back over his shoulder to make sure that the idiot had actually left

Masterlist

[proudahgase-exol]

𝘞𝘩𝘢𝘵 𝘩𝘦 𝘥𝘰𝘦𝘴𝘯’𝘵 𝘬𝘯𝘰𝘸 𝘸𝘰𝘯’𝘵 𝘩𝘶𝘳𝘵 𝘩𝘪𝘮

Mingi x reader

This is my first ateez fanfic I hope you guys like it sorry if it’s trash 😓

Summary: After six years of dating Jacob, your relationship has deteriorated, with him often busy or out with friends. One night, you attend a bar for dissertation, never expecting to meet an attractive guy.

18+ minors do not interact

Warning: cussing, cheating, alcohol use, unprotected sex, did I miss anything?

⊱ ───ஓ๑♡๑ஓ ─── ⊰

Summary: After six years of dating, your relationship has deteriorated, with him often busy or out with friends. One night, you attend a bar for dissertation, never expecting to meet an attractive guy.

Warning: smut, cheating, cussing, unprotected sex,

Words: 2,917

Your pov

It’s been six years since Jacob and I started dating, and although the relationship was good and he was a loving, respectful boyfriend, I have been feeling like I’m not his first priority anymore.

He’s always at work or with his friends. The only time I see him is when I wake up for work sometimes at night, but we haven’t talked or gone out in a long time. I miss him, but when I try to do something, he always declines, saying he’s too busy or tired, but when one of his friends calls to hang out, he's up for it.

That’s why, today I'm getting ready to go out with some of my girls. They know about this situation, and they encourage me to go out to a bar, so I agree.

Once at the bar, we all went to take a seat somewhere and order some drinks. We were having a good time until, one by one, they found some for the night. I was left alone at the table, so I went to get myself another drink.

Once I got there, I ordered my drink and waited for the bartender to bring it to me. I was in my own world when I felt someone standing next to me. I looked up and saw a really handsome man who looked down at me and smiled.

“Hey there, I’m Song Mingi. Nice to meet you." He said with a smiling.

"Hello, my name is y/n." I replied with a shy smile.

“What are you doing all by yourself here?” He asked me

"Well, I was with a few friends, but two of them, god knows, were, and the other one was talking to the guy in blue by the pool table.” I really, as I pointed out, where my friend was.

"Really, the guy is my friend Yunho,” he said, laughing.

“No way, what a coincidence,” I said, giggling.

“Will you like to go sit down and chat? You seem like a sweet girl,” he said, hopeful.

"Sure, lead the way," I said smiling.

After a few minutes, I couldn’t help myself any more, so I asked him.

“So what do you do for a living? I mean, you don’t look like the typical guy that comes to bars; you seem really rich in the clothes you are wearing,” I said curiously. “I mean, I’m just wondering you don’t have to answer me."

“It’s okay, don’t worry,” he replied. “I’m the CEO of my own company. The guy your friend is talking to is my assistant and best friend, although he’s more like my big brother."

"Really, that’s cool. Wow, he seems like a sweet person." I smiled at him.

"What about you? What do you do for a living? He asked

“I’m the assistant of Park Seonghwa, actually." I said shyly.

“No way! He’s one of my best friends. I'veknow him since college,” he replied.

“What a small world,” I said, laughing.

We continued talking, and after a few hours and more drinks, he invited me to his place, and I agreed. I mean, what could go wrong? He’s like a friend, right?

When we arrived at his place, I was speechless. His place was huge. He owns a big company, and of course he can offer a penthouse on top of a beautiful building in an expensive neighborhood.

When we got inside, he told them to get comfortable in the living room, so he went to get a bottle of wine. When he returned, he continued to chat and drink.

He told me about himself and his eight friends, who are like his brothers; he also told me about his family. He was such a sweet, funny guy, and despite being super rich, he was still so humble, which I liked.

After a bit of time, he felt him getting closer to me until he cupped my face with his hands and pulled me for a kiss. I didn’t stop him; I pulled him closer by his collar.

After a while of heated make-out, he pulled me on top of him and continued kissing me. That’s when I pulled away from him and sat down in embarrassment.

"Hey, what’s wrong? Did I do something wrong? Did I go to fear? Or made you uncomfortable?” He asked, worried.

"No, it’s not you... It’s just that." I tried to finish my sentence, but I cut myself off.

“What is it?” He asked as he rubbed my thigh.

“I have a boyfriend." I said, Look up at him in shame.

"Oh,” he said, sounding upset, “why didn’t you stop me when I first kissed you? Or why didn’t you say anything in the beginning?”

“Because it felt right. I felt seen and loved. He’s been ignoring me for a couple of months now.” I said, looking at him as I tried to get off him.

“What do you mean? Why has he been ignoring you?” he asked as he stopped me from moving away from him.

"Well, he’s always out with his friends, or he says he’s too busy or tired; he also has been canceling dates so he could spend time with his friends." I said upset.

“You know what fuck he I’ll make you forget about that piece of sh*t. I’ll make you feel loved and seen. I’ll show you how a man should treat his women. That is, if you let me, of course,” he asked, hopeful.

"Mmmh, yes, that’s sounding good,” I said as I pulled him for a kiss.

After that, he got up from the couch, took me, and walked us to his bedroom, where he placed me on his king-size bed and continued to kiss me as he slowly took my clothes off while I did the same to him.

Mingi’s pov

Taking my time with her, drinking in the beauty of her curvy body as I went along, and we climbed onto my king-size bed, where I kissed every square inch of her as I made my way to her tits, with her hard little nipples waiting for me.

I took my time licking and sucking on them, telling her how much I loved her body. The only sounds coming from her were moans, oohs, and ahhhs. I used those to guide me. I would run my flat tongue to lick up on her nipples, and I would get a loud moan from her, telling me her nipples were very sensitive.

I spent my time on her tits, then I went down on her, tasting her beautiful pussy, taking in its sexy scent, and working her clitoris with my mouth to give her her first orgasm of the evening.

I started working my finger in her pussy, feeling her G-Spot area swelling at the touch, and rubbing on her clitoral area using my thumb. It seemed to be working; as she moved in closer, I pulled out my middle finger and replaced it with two fingers, and I started curling them on her G-Spot. God, her tight little pussy felt good so fucking tight then I successfully made her cum with my fingers, as she said.

“Oh fuck, that feels so good, baby... I'm cumming, oh my god, I'm fucking cumming!!” She trembled a bit longer before it came to a slow end. When she stopped shaking, she pulled me up to her for a kiss, then whispered in my ear and told me, “My pussy is all yours now. Only you get to fuck this pussy!!"

That’s when I had to fuck her to finally have my cock in her pretty pussy so I turned her around and got her in adopt a doggy position.

As I stood behind her, I grabbed my cock, lined up to her, and proceeded to slowly enter her. I wanted her to enjoy every inch as we slowly became one. her pussy felt so tight going back in. I looked down and saw my dick entering and exiting her cunt.

Mingi, your big fat cock feels so good in my pussy. Oh Mingi your big cock is making me cum!”

Oh fuck, baby. Keep going, keep going! Don't stop, don't stop! she screamed out to him.

“Fuck me, daddy, fuck me!” she said without thinking.

“Are you daddy's little slut, huh, y/n? You like it when daddy fucks you”?

“Mm hmm” she responded in a whiny voice, obviously enjoying the hard fucking he was giving her.

“Who's pussy is it, baby? Who does your pussy belong to?”

“You daddy, this pussy is yours!”

“Don’t stop; I’m close; please don’t stop.” Y/N basically begs as I pick up the pace, “I’m cumming Mingi.” She screams.

I feel her pussy start to pulsate around my cock as an orgasm hits her. The feeling of her pussy contracting from her orgasm pushes me over the edge, and I slam my cock deep inside her and cum. I shoot rope after rope of cum deep inside your tight pussy.

Panic sets in almost instantly as I remember I’m not wearing a condom and I’ve just shot a huge load of cum deep inside.

“Shit, oh shit.” I gasp as panic consumes me. I pull out of bed and stand up, and I start to clean her up in a panic.

“Relax, it’s ok, I’m on the pill.” Y/N tells me she is obviously sensing my panic. Her words help to defuse my panic.

“That was amazing.” She says this before leaning up to kiss me.

After I finished cleaning her and myself up, I went to go grab a clean shirt and give it to her, put on a new pair of clean boxers, and went to lay down next to her.

She laid down next to me after putting the shirt on, and I pulled her closer to me so we could cuddle. She laid her head on my chest, and I petted her head.

“You were so good. I had never been fucked like that by anyone," she said, looking up at me.

“Are you serious, not even your boyfriend?” I was surprised.

“Not even him; you know he’s never been rough in bed with me, nor is he Vanella; he usually makes me ride him, and he just lays there; it makes me feel like I’m forcing him to have sex with me,” she replied.

"Well, that’s his loss. He doesn’t know what a great woman you are; he’s missing out on everything,” I told her as I kissed her head.

After a while of silence, she fell asleep. She looked so calm and relaxed. I didn’t want this to end, but I wasn’t sure if she would like to continue seeing me. I mean, she does have a boyfriend. But perhaps I could convince her that for now I’ll just sleep it off.

Your pov

The next day, I woke up to the smell of food. I sat up and looked around the room, remembering the events of last night. It made me blush. I got up and fell for the delicious smell that took me to the kitchen, where Mingi was finishing the last touches.

"Hey, good morning. How did you sleep, pretty girl?” He asked, and he placed the places on the table.

"Grateful, how about you?” I asked to take a seat.

"Grate, I made you some breakfast. I hope you like it,” he said, sitting in front of me.

"Mmmh, this is so much better than you," I replied as I took a bit of my omelette.

We ate and chatted for a bit, then I helped him clean up the dishes. He told me he left a change of clothes for me in the bathroom, so I went to get a change.

When I got out, I went to find Mingi, and he was sitting in the living room on his phone, so I went to sit with him.

"Hey, you look good in my clothes,” he said, teasing.

"Thanks,” I said, smiling. "Well, Mingi, I have to go. My friend has been blowing on my phone, asking me where I'm. It was nice meeting you. I hope to see you again." I said as I got up from the couch.

"Before you go, I wanted to ask you something." He said he was taking my hand, preventing me from leaving.

"Yeah, what is it?” I replied

"Leasing, I know we just met, and I know you have a boyfriend, but what happened last night was understandable, and I was hoping we could do it again, but if it makes you uncomfortable, I understand,” he said nervously.

“I agree. I had fun last night. You made me feel like the sexiest woman in the world, and I would like to do it again. It could be our little secret,” I said, biting my lip.

“Really? You would like to keep seeing me? What about your boyfriend?” He asked me

"Well, it would be fun to pass a good fuck from a handsome man like you,” I said, laughing, “and about my boyfriend... What he doesn’t know won’t hurt him, right?” I asked, winking at him.

“You like shit that’s sounding so hot and naughty,” he said, pulling me for a kiss. “I’ll be your dirty little secret, your side hoe right,” he said with my bottom up between his teeth.

Mingi and I continued seeing each other; we had sex multiple times, and he also took me on dates. He was everything I wanted my boyfriend to be; he was the perfect man.

When Mingi was busy with work, he would ask me to come by, and we would have a quickie in his office, but when he got up early, we would get at it for hours. Sex with Mingi was truly amazing, and it drove me crazy.

Jacob never suspected a thing; he never questioned me about why I was all of a sudden going out or being "busy.” He never asked why I didn’t want to have sex with him. To him, everything was normal.

A few weeks ago, Mingi asked me if I wanted to join him and his friends at the new club that just opened, and I agreed. Today Mingi texted me, telling me they were going to the club today, so I went to get ready, and I told him I would meet him at the club.

When I arrived there, I texted Mingi, letting him know I was here. He told me where he was as I went to find him. When I did, I saw this really pretty girl talking to Mingi; she was touching him and flirting with him.

Just the sight of her trying to seduce him made me blood boil. I became so jealous and pissed, but I knew I could do anything about it. Mingi was a free single man who could do whatever and date whoever.

I got so mad to the point where I just left the club, and once I was out, I broke down crying. I cry because I fell in love with Mingi. I wanted to date him. I wanted to be his girlfriend, but I wasn't.

As I was walking down the road, I heard someone’s footsteps and heavy breathing. I turned around, and I was face-to-face with Mingi. He looked concerned, and when he finally reached me, he pulled me in for a hug.

"Baby, why did you leave crying? What’s wrong? Why are you upset?” He asked, worried.

“Mingi Go back to the club. Go back to the pretty girl you were talking to,” I said, pushing him away.

"Princess, what are you talking about? You're the only pretty girl I talk to,” he said, pulling me back to him. “The girl was trying to get in my pants, but I told her I wasn’t interested; she didn’t get the memo, so I ignored her until I saw you walking out, then I ran after you.”

“Now tell me, why are you crying? I didn’t like to see my princess upset,” he said, kissing my forehead.

“Seeing you with another woman made me feel so jealous. It made me feel so angry. I only want you to myself,” I said, looking into his eyes.

"Baby, I’m all yours; you don’t need to feel jealous,” he chuckled.

"No, Mingi, you don’t get it. I want you to be mine. I don’t want you to be my “dirty little secret.” I don’t want to sneak around to meet you. I want to be your girl. I don’t want to be Jacob’s girlfriend. I want to be your girlfriend." I said, looking down in embarrassment.

“You don’t know how bad I wanted to hear you say that you don’t know how hard it is for me to let you go back to him when all I want is to keep you all to myself. Every time you leave my bed to go back to him, my heart breaks,” he said as he healed me closer to him.

"Really, you really mean that?” I asked in shock.

“Of course, baby, I mean That now what Wooyoung, so if I asked you to dumb your shitty boyfriend so I could be the boyfriend you need and deserve,” he asked, hopefully

“I will leave him in a heartbeat because there’s no other man I want other than you,” I said, getting on my tippy toes to kiss his lips.

After that, he took my hand, and we walked back to the club, but instead of being back inside, we went to the park, so he got in his car and drove us to his house. We talk on the way there about how I will end everything with Jacob.

When we got to his place, we went to his bedroom, where he got undressed and made love to one another. For now, we wanted to be together and forget about the world. Tomorrow, I will figure out how to end the relationship with Jacob.

[propertyofwhitney67]

You're such a fucking idiot

M!Whitney x F!Reader

Words: 842

Tw: Self harm, Blood, Scars

Note: For @yurilovesyuri :)

I played with my old razor blade, flipping it around in my hand while staring at myself in the mirror across the room. Through the grime and cracks, I could see my hollow face and dead eyes. I looked like a corpse, just dead inside.

Sighing, I stood up and took off my clothes, leaving me in only my underwear. I stared down at my scars, some old and some new. Tracing the scabs, I wondered it anyone actually gave a fuck. I knew everyone in swim class has seen them, but they never say a fucking thing. I know Kylar’s seen them, but they like it. Whitney…I don’t think he’s noticed. He doesn’t spend too much time staring at my arm but my thighs, he spends a lot of time there…I shook my head angrily, he wouldn’t give a fuck either way. I’m just some toy for him to use.

Sitting back down on the bed, I picked up the blade, hovering it over my right thigh. I took a deep breath and dug the blade into my scarred skin, blood spilling out of the cut. It wasn’t deep enough…

I was about to dig the blade into my skin again before my door was practically kicked in, “There’s my slut!” It was Whitney, flanked by his gang. He stopped in his tracks, seeing what I was doing. Without hesitation he yelled back at his followers, “Fuck off.” They started to talk back, but it only took one look from Whitney to shut them up. They filed out and he slammed the door shut, looking over at me with a look I couldn’t quite decipher. It was a mix of anger and something else. “What the fuck is wrong with you?” He took the blade from my hand and tossed it across the room.

“Like you give a fuck.” I grumbled, standing up before being pushed back down. “Fuck off, Whitney.” I didn’t bother trying to physically fight back, I was too tired, too empty.

He rolled his eyes and asked, “Does that fuck give you bandages?” I nodded and pointed him in the direction of the bathroom. Once he was gone I groaned and leaned back onto the bed, blood trickling down my thigh and staining my sheets further. Of all the times to kick in my door, he chose now.

Whitney came back within a few minutes with an armful of bandages and other supplies. “A bit excessive, no?” He glared and set everything out on the bed beside me. “Are you my nurse now?” I tried to make a joke out of the whole thing, hoping he wouldn't start asking a million questions and yell at me.

“Would you just shut up! Fucking hell, I’m trying to help you.” Whitney was quickly growing angry with me. “You’re such a fucking idiot…” He whispered when he finally saw my thighs up close. Normally, he’s paying too much attention to your cunt to look at them. 

He quietly traced the old scars, being careful with the scabbed and healing ones. I kept quiet, the feeling was nice, soothing even. “Why are you being nice and helping me?”

Shaking his head, he continued to softly trace my scars. This was out of character for him. Sure he was nicer to me when we were alone, but this felt different. It felt intimate. He shook himself from his trance and started opening up bandages to cover my new cut. “I’d ask why, but I already know the answer.”

I hummed and dropped my head back onto the bed, “Oh yeah?” He hummed quietly and nodded, focusing on his work. “It’s partly because of you, ya know?” I tried to guilt him, let him know how much this was actually his fault. That he had a hand in all this.

Whitney nodded, “I know, I’m not as stupid as you think. I can put the pieces together pretty easily.” He wiped away the blood with a clean rag, applied some cream, then applied the bandage. “I’m the cause of a lot of your problems. I just never gave a fuck about how it affected you.” He was quiet for a moment as he gathered the trash, “Seeing it is different…” Sitting up I touched the bandage, but he slapped my hand away. “Don’t fuck with it.”

I rolled my eyes but stopped, “I know you’re not gonna change-”

“Shut up, slut.” He grumbled, throwing the trash away in my bin. “Lay down.” I sighed but complied, laying down on my bed and waiting for him to use me. “Move over.” I scrunched up my brows, “Just do it.” I made room for him beside me and he manhandled me onto my side and pulled me close to his chest. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, confused why he wanted to cuddle with me.

He started to rub small circles on my scarred hip, “I’m trying to be nice, so shut up and enjoy it.” I sighed but relaxed in his arms, I needed this.

𝘔𝘢𝘴𝘵𝘦𝘳𝘭𝘪𝘴𝘵

𝘒𝘰-𝘍𝘪

[ilovetheriddler]

The Conundrum of Home Cooking.

(2022 Batman) Edward Nashton x F!Reader.

Word Count: 691.

Contents: Fluff, Nervousness, First Date, Cooking.

Edward let out a frustrated and nervous sigh as he attempted to clean up his apartment. His nerves were practically shot with much stress he was currently under. His new cute coworker was coming over for dinner. Why did he have to put his foot in his mouth and say that he'd cook? He's not necessarily a bad cook, but he most definitely isn't a great one either. His thoughts were running a hundred miles per minute as he frantically tried to clean up his messy apartment.

"Damn it! This has to be perfect, I can't allow myself to be humiliated in front of her! Oh God, she's so cute. I wonder if she'll enjoy herself? Wait, what's that burning smell?"

He turned around and immediately felt his face pale. The food he had been working on was currently on fire, like the pan itself was on fire! He carefully tosses it in the sink before running water onto it. He lets out a frustrated sigh as he takes in the depressing sight of his attempt at making you a nice home cooked meal.

He felt his heart rate skyrocket when he heard a knock on his door. You were already here, and ten minutes early! He ran his fingers through his hair quickly in an attempt to untangle it some. He walked over and opened the door, his nerves practically on fire.

His eyes lit up as he took in your appearance as you stood there. You were absolutely gorgeous in his eyes.

"P-please come inside and um... make yourself comfortable! I'm um.. I'm almost done with dinner..."

"Thank you, I'm sure it'll be great!"

You smiled at him as you walked inside, glancing around his apartment. You notice several trash bags filled with garbage from where he clearly tried to tidy up his apartment for your arrival. It was still a bit messy, but you appreciated the gesture. His apartment is filled with notebooks he's filled with his writings. You're a bit taken aback when he suddenly hands you a small bouquet of flowers. His face appears incredibly sweaty, so you assume he must be quite nervous.

"These are for you! I hope that you like them...."

"Thank you, Edward. These are absolutely lovely!"

You take the flowers from his and sit them down along with your bag. You then are immediately hit with a horrible smell, almost as if something was horrifically burnt. He notices the way you react to it.

"I-I'm sorry about the smell! Um... i... I may have burnt the food.... and my only nice frying pan...."

"Oh... well, that's okay! I can just help you make something else!"

You made your way over to his kitchen area. You took a brief look in the sink, Whatever he originally attempted to make for you was so burnt that you actually couldn't even begin to guess what it was supposed to be. You check his cabinets to see what you could possibly make the two of you for dinner. He had enough for macaroni and cheese. That would do just fine. You quickly set out everything that you would need and began working away.

Edward just kind of stood off to the side, not really sure how he could help you when it was something with as few steps as macaroni and cheese. So, instead, he took the chance to finish cleaning up around his apartment. Once he was done, so was dinner. So the two of sat down at his table to eat.

Despite Edward's initial worries, the evening went surprisingly well. The two of you talked into the late hours of the night. After dinner, you helped him wash the dishes. The two of you moved over to the couch and watched a movie to finish off the incredibly pleasant evening. He felt his face heat up slightly once he realized that you had fallen asleep with your head resting on his shoulder. He ultimately decided against waking you up right now, There was no harm in letting you rest just a bit longer. Especially not when you looked so adorable in your sleep.