#i want them to get nominated for album record and song of the year though god please they deserve it so bad HFKDNF

[thekidsarentalright]

idk who else cares abt this but ive been searching desperately for fobs grammy consideration banner and this is allegedly it and like. god do i know they aren’t gonna sweep all of these and the grammys dont matter and just bc they submitted all this doesnt even mean they’ll get the nominations but please please please fob sweep please

[bangtanhoneys]

The Grammy Awards - Grace Chu

Note: this is a bit long. Over 5k words which is the longest thing I’ve ever written. I wanted something different and while I still think the Grammy’s did BTS dirty, I wanted my girl to have some love. I don’t expect everyone to agree to it but it is fanfic after all.

Part 2 l Part 3

When Grace had created her first solo album that wasn’t a mixtape, she had no plans to submit anything to the Grammys. The history between the Grammy’s and BTS had left a bad taste in her mouth - they were used as eye candy for performances, to bring in the audience and leave them till the last minute, even with five nominations and no wins. So when she was asked if she wanted to put the ‘In My Head’ album in for any categories, she shut the idea down. 

Really, she should have realised that Bang PD would have just done it anyway.

The first she heard about it was when Chaelin, CL from 2NE1, had sent her a text of congratulations followed by IU. Then her parents called her to say congratulations and there was a flurry of messages in the BTS group chat. 

Of course, she thought they were all off their heads because there was no way in hell that she was nominated for a Grammy, let alone three. But when she went on the website, sure enough, under her name were the following categories:

7 Rings - Record of the Year

In My Head - Album of the Year

7 Rings - Best Pop Solo Performance. 

It left her feeling very conflicted. 

While she was proud of herself and the team behind the song as well as the album, she remembered the disappointment on the rest of the boy’s faces when they received no nominations for their solo music and the bigger disappointment when they didn’t win as a group, sitting there in the audience with cameras in their faces and once again, no win. 

She didn’t want the award for the very reason that she didn’t want to go all the way out there, to dress up, to sit there and then nothing. Feeling nothing but pure disappointment.

So, she kept silent and kept on preparing herself for the tour that would be happening in a few months after the November nomination announcement. Everyone was excited, including the boys, yet she felt absolutely blank about the whole thing. In her head, it was just another ploy to get the BTS name attached to the Grammys.

A week later, after the nominations were released, she got called into a meeting with everyone including Bang PD, their choreographing team, the CEO and PR and some others that she didn't know. Grace sat down next to Sejin, wondering why most of the important people in Big Hit had been called to the table. 

“Okay as everyone is aware, Hea has been nominated for three Grammy awards. They’ve been in touch and asked if Hea would be interested in either opening up the Grammy’s with a song or if there would be a medley performance at some point,” the CEO explained. “We’ve already got an idea but wanted to hear what everyone’s thoughts were before we went forward and if Hea wanted to go through with this as well.”

Grace glanced towards Sejin out of the corner of her eye. He knew her better than most and he knew the thoughts of the boys as well. They were proud of her and this would be a big thing for not only her, but for the boys, Big Hit and Korea as a whole. If she won, she would be the first K-Pop Korean and the first Korean female. If she didn’t win, she would still be highly regarded because of the nomination. 

Though she knew full well that some antis would see this as an opportunity to bash and slander. 

Sejin knew her thoughts about the Grammy’s and he returned her look, giving her a slight nod. If he thought she should go, then off she went. 

“I want to get the boy's opinion first,” Grace started. “But if everyone thinks I should go and this is going to be a good thing, rather than a disappointment, then I’ll go. And I suppose, depending on the time limit, it’s going to be one song rather than a medley?”

The CEO nodded, nodding towards Bang PD. “We’re thinking of at least 3 or 4, depending on the time slot. Plus this could be a good test for the tour as well if we use songs from the Dangerous Woman mix tape and then you’ve got some other songs as well you want to release? If not, then we would just stick to 7 Rings.”

“Not until January but the Grammy’s are in February, so that would tie in with that mixtape’s release,” Grace agreed. 

“Okay, well let’s see what we can put together and I will check what time limit we have so we can work towards that. We don’t want to put more pressure on the team for dancing so we’ll work with you on that and maybe work with InTheLab in LA,” the CEO glanced towards the team of choreographers who nodded in agreement. “And once we have confirmation on everything, we can discuss outfits and the like. Would you be going with Seokjin-ssi?”

That made Grace pause. He was out of military service now and was free to take, even with his own schedule and music going on. Hobi was free as well. So she could take the two free members of BTS but there was also the option of her parents as well? It would be an honour for them, especially her father.

“I will double check but I think I would want to take my father. I know he’s not one for the public eye but if I won, I’d want him to see that in person rather than on TV. If I don’t win, well it’s an experience.”

With plans in motion, Grace left the meeting still feeling conflicted.

‘GRAMMY’s want me to perform. What do you think?’ she fired off a message to the group chat, as she turned down the hallway and headed to Hobi’s studio. 

There would be no response from four of them until that evening so she wasn’t expecting anything. Of course, her boyfriend was the first one to reply.

‘Do it and kick their ass.’

Yoongi then replied: ‘Agreed. Our turn will come but I want you to win without us.’

Grace sighed and slipped into Hobi’s studio, finding him already mixing a mock up of her songs. 

“I haven’t actually agreed yet,” Grace laughed as she took a seat on the couch.

“I know you feel conflicted,” Hobi said as he turned down the volume on the speaker as Dangerous Woman played in the background with a bit more bass to it, spinning his chair around to face Grace. “I feel conflicted for you. I would be proud as a Korean if you won because you’d be the first one to win. It would be like watching Jungkookie at the World Cup - he’s still BTS but it’s a major thing. Like Yoongi-hyung’s tour, that was for him but he was still BTS.”

“I know but the Grammys have fucked us around,” Grace frowned. “Nominate us, tease the audience about us or our performance or whether we’ve won and leave it till the last minute and then not give it to us though they’ve been hinting we’re going to win. They’ve used us for views and we’ve had nothing in return.”

Hobi sighed and nodded, reaching out to pat Grace’s knee. “Yes, that’s true. But why not go and show them what BTS’ female member can do? I know you don’t care about the awards and the nominations you’ve received for your hard work but go and do this one. Go and show them what they're missing.”

The four other members sent similar messages, though Namjoon added: ‘Make me proud as a leader and a brother. Whether you win or not, the fact you’ve been nominated for three awards and you’ve been asked to perform is amazing. So go and do it.’

Seokjin didn’t exactly decline the invitation to go but rather wanted the focus to be on her. With that, she somehow managed to get her parents to agree to go though her father was uncomfortable with the idea.

“Do we have to go on the red carpet?” he asked over dinner the following night.

“No. You can be taken straight to the seats inside, bypassing all the photos and the faff. There will be cameras and they might film your reactions but other than that, no you don’t have to do the whole thing,” Grace confirmed as she took her plate of homemade spaghetti bolognese that her mother made.

Her father was silent as he dipped the garlic bread into the sauce. Grace could see the cogs turning in his head just as they had in hers when she heard the news. It would bring great honour to the family name yet did he want to risk his anonymity? His wife, Grace’s mother, was already a fan favourite having been seen in various Big Hit videos. 

“It would be my honour then to go.”

So began the practice for the Grammy’s alongside final dance practice for the tour. 

The team had agreed on one song, the one with the nomination, rather than a medley since she had only been given five minutes to perform as the first performance of the night. Her categories would then follow afterwards. Alexander McQueen’s fashion team had sent a blazer dress in her size for her to perform in though the stylist team at Big Hit had to add some shorts so the dress didn’t show everything when she bent over. 

She also had a dress from Elie Saab, the designer reaching out with the perfect dress he said would be fitting for her first solo project. 

Her parents had flown out a week beforehand to enjoy America as tourists and to avoid the chaos at Incheon which had predicted record high numbers of press and fans for Grace’s flight out. And the prediction had been correct. 

She could hear the noise from the car as her managers sorted out passports and boarding passes, bodyguards in position to form the Queen’s Guard to battle through the chaos that was awaiting them inside. 

“You ready?” Sejin asked, handing over a mask and sunglasses. 

“Never,” Grace sighed with a slight smile as she slipped the sunglasses on and adjusted the mask to cover her mouth. 

The moment she stepped out, the noise grew even louder. She paused before the doors, letting the press outside get the photos they needed before entering the airport, the bodyguards tight around her as they moved through the sounds of cheers, screams and the sound of camera flashes going off. She was more than thankful for the sunglasses that protected her eyes against the blindness of lights. 

 It was difficult. They were trying to rush against the barriers put up in place for everyone’s protection and out of the corner of her eye, she could see a few cameras get knocked down for being too close and some people getting shoved away as they had escaped over or underneath the barrier. 

But she kept pushing on, Sejin’s hand tight on her shoulder as they finally got out of the crowd and to the lounge where they could wait for their flight to be called. Security was outside the doors and inside the doors, only letting those in who had passes or were part of the Big Hit team. 

“It gets worse every time,” a bodyguard muttered as they accepted the passports and boarding passes, handing them over to the managers. 

“They need tighter controls at the airport,” another agreed. 

For Grace, she just wanted to get to Los Angeles and get to the hotel, get the awards over with (which would be held at the same stadium she had rented out for her own tour) and come home. She was thankful her parents would be joining her but she kept waiting for the phone call to say there had been an honest mistake and could they cancel. 

The call never came. 

Not while they were getting on the plane, not while they were in the air, not while they got to LAX and not while they got to the hotel. If anything, her appearance in California had heightened the news around the Grammys. 

“We have reports that Grace Chu, the female member of BTS, just landed in Los Angeles over an hour ago and was taken straight to the hotel. Her performance is one of the most highly anticipated performances of the night, as this will be her first solo performance at the Grammys without the rest of BTS,” a reporter said with the Hollywood sign in the backdrop as a ‘live’ report. “Big Hit has been quiet in terms of the performance, outfits and whether anyone else from BTS will be attending given that five members are still in their military service.”

Sejin clicked over the channel to something else as Grace opened up her suitcase in the bedroom, smoothing out her clothes before putting them in the wardrobe. Her designer clothes for the carpet and performance had been put in her room before her arrival. 

“Every news channel is about the Grammys,” Sejin sighed as he finally got to the local news that wasn’t reporting about the upcoming award show that was two days away.

“It’s the main event of any singer’s career,” Grace said as she poked her head around the doorway. “I suppose it’s like their version of a Daesang.”

“At least BTS are awarded properly for a Daesang.”

“Only sometimes,” Grace called out. 

The next day the team planned a schedule to head to the Crypto.com stadium which felt surreal as she would be on the stage in only a month’s time. She would start her American leg of the tour here for two nights then fly to Chicago and to see it laid out for the Grammys was a bit odd. She had seen the renderings and designs for her stage at the stadium so to see large tables with black tablecloths and fancy flower vases, gold chairs and screens being set up was just…strange. 

It would seat over 20,000 just for her. 

They did a full rehearsal of her song and then another one to tidy up some moves, and to allow the TV camera to do its blocking. The usual Bangtan Bomb camera followed the team around from the hotel to the stadium, to the changing room and out again. 

When the day came, Grace stared up at the ceiling from her bed. 

While she wasn’t overly bothered about the whole thing, that didn’t stop the nerves from settling in. She pressed a hand to her stomach to stop the slight wave of nausea and she let out a deep breath, closing her eyes and letting out another breath. She wasn’t sure if she was nervous because of the performance, the awards herself or the fact this was going to be a big step in her solo journey. Maybe it was pure nerves because this was something completely out of her hands and that she couldn’t control. 

She let out a slight huff of annoyance and rolled out of bed, pausing to open the blinds to see L.A in its morning glory. It was already busy and Grace flicked on the TV to see what the latest reports were - the red carpet was down, reporters were already in position and celebrities were already Instagramming their breakfasts’.

“Right,” Grace paused and rubbed her face. “Shower, skin routine, hair routine and food. And then the Grammys.”

The hot water soothed out any tight muscles from stress and she washed her wavy blonde hair (recently dyed for her tour), combing through the oil she used to keep it looking fresh. Face and body cream applied, she wrapped her robe around her body and made her way out of her room.

Her parents were already there, sitting on the couch in front of the TV as they ate breakfast. They looked completely chill even with the day ahead. 

“Good morning,” her mother greeted as she glanced over from the news report. “There’s buffet breakfast in the dining area if you’re feeling up to it?”

Her father placed his half-finished plate down on the coffee table and stood, giving his daughter’s shoulder a quick squeeze. “Fruit and tea would be best to start with. I bet you're feeling a little nervous?”

Grace smiled, nodding as she leaned on her Dad for a moment. “You always know and fruit and tea would be amazing, thank you.”

She joined her mother on the couch and tucked up against her side, stealing a piece of toast that she was munching on when her Dad came back with a bowl of fruit containing: grapes, pineapple, strawberries, blueberries, kiwi, watermelon and honeydew melon and her usual cup of tea, already with her two sugars and milk. 

The Chu family quietly watched TV as they ate their breakfast, every now and then mentioning something in regards to what was happening on the screen. There were no words to be said between the three of them while time ticked away and a knock on the door came from Sejin, poking his head around the doorway. 

He smiled slightly, bowing to her parents and then turned his attention to Grace.

“The stylists and makeup team are here to get you ready. Also, you have a surprise visitor.”

Eyebrows raised, Grace finished off her tea and went to put the dishes along with the others in the dining room but her father beat her to it and shooed her away. “Go, I’ll handle this.” 

While some thought of her father as cool, hard to read and not very affectionate - he was very much like Yoongi. Tsundere - cool on the outside, fuzzy on the inside. Very much a strict Korean father when in public and with strangers, but an absolute chaotic fool when around other family, friends and the boys. 

Slightly apprehensive as to what could be waiting for her, there was instant relief when the doors opened to the other bedroom of the suit and Bang PD stood there with the Big Hit Team. She could see it on his face: as if he was going to miss this and let her do it on her own. 

“Thank god,” she muttered as she wandered over and instantly met his hug with one of her own. He had spearheaded her solo career since Dangerous Woman and it only felt right to have him with her, even if he wasn’t going to be on the red carpet. At least he would be with her and her parents during the actual award ceremony.

“You know I couldn’t miss this,” he grinned then gave her a pat on the head. “Go on, go and get ready. I’ll go and see your parents and give them a bit of a run down.”

The make up team kept the glam to a minimum but it still took over two hours to do. Her brown eyes were highlighted with bronze eyeshadow, the liner black but thin and her natural eyelashes fluffed out. While she sat there, letting them do her contour and styling her hair into a half-up, half-down ponytail; she started her vocal warmup by singing Don’t Blame Me, using the mix they would be producing for the tour. 

They carefully slipped the Elie Saab designer dress over her figure, slipping on the pair of Louboutins that had been gifted to her by the designer. A pair of earrings from the boys and a bracelet from Seokjin and she was set to go. 

Big Hit took a few photos of her before the event, one with Bang PD, one with Sejin, the other with her parents and then a couple of her on her own. They wouldn’t be uploaded until she was just about to walk onto the red carpet though the photo with her parents had been sent to the boys. 

Various messages came in as they had been given leave by the military for this occasion, heading to Seokjin’s apartment for a private viewing party with a few close friends and plenty of alcohol. She didn’t read any of the messages, too nervous and unsettled to do anything other than to slip her hand into her father’s. 

Conversations in the car went over her head and she paid little attention, only nodding here and there as her parents, Sejin and Bang PD talked about how the evening would go, where they would be sitting, and what celebrities would be attending. The crowd lining the streets was noisy and huge, though completely used to seeing the many celebrities getting out of their cars. 

Her car stopped and her parents got out first with Bang PD, a member of staff leading them to the entrance straight away to avoid any press or attention though Grace could see a couple of celebrities say hello to her boss. 

“You ready?” Sejin asked, pausing at the door. 

Letting out a deep breath, she counted briefly to five then got out. 

The noise was instant. Reporters paused in their sentence, wondering what was going on and turning to see who had arrived to cause the disturbance. Even a few celebrities paused and turned. 

“Everybody, Grace Chu from BTS has arrived,” Liam McEwan turned to the camera with an excited look on his face. “The queen is here.”

There were so many people clambering for her attention as she posed for photos, smiling at the hundreds of cameras as they yelled her name. The beads and embroidery sparkled on her dress, her fingers fiddling with the belt then the dip which to her was a bit dangerously low but the reporters obviously loved. 

The PR lady moved her along towards an excited looking Liam, who Grace grinned at and opened up her arms. “Liam! It’s been too long since we’ve seen you. How are you?” Fans would later comment on how typical it was of Grace and BTS to remember reporters who had been kind to them. 

The two exchanged a hug, a few questions about the boys, her performance and how he couldn’t wait to see it. Grace left him to carry on down the carpet with him gushing over how lovely she was, which made seven men raise their glasses in cheers.

“Seee! Told you she could do it,” Yoongi said as he raised his glass of whiskey, not at all a bit tipsy as Jungkook reached over and filled it up for him. 

“She hasn’t even gotten inside yet hyung,” Jimin laughed, already opening another bottle of champagne as if Grace had already won her three awards and had been crowned Queen of Korea. 

Seokjin and Namjoon as well as Hobi, the only three who had been determined not to drink until the end, slowly sipped on their iced coffee and laughed as they watched an excited maknae open Taehyung’s bottle of wine for him. 

“But she’s won everyone over! I mean, that dress is amazing on her,” Taehyung said as he stood, pushing over Jimin who spilled himself into Hobi’s lap. Obviously, a career in the military had done nothing to dampen their enthusiasm. 

Taehyung stood next to the large TV screen, pointing at various parts of her dress. “I mean, it’s pretty low. I wonder who signed that off but either way, she looks amazing. And look! Cleavage! No one has seen noona with cleavage yet.”

Yoongi groaned, covering his eyes. “Don’t mention Grace and cleavage in the same sentence. I’m not drunk enough yet.”

It took forever to get Grace inside the stadium as she bumped into several celebrities she knew and said hello to a few more, stopping herself from doing the traditional Korean greeting of bowing. She finally sat down next to her father who handed her a glass of water.

She was about to thank her father when Sejin and a member of the Grammy’s staff came over, to tell her that they would be coming to get her in half an hour so she could do her performance which would be the first one after the first award. 

Hearing that made the nerves return and she gulped down the glass of water, letting out a deep breath. “Don’t be nervous Hea, you’re born for this and you’ve got so much experience in performing in front of a large crowd. You’ve got a bigger crowd than this next month,” her father patted her hand then turned to talk to her mother as if it was nothing.

“Thanks Dad,” she laughed but took the moment to calm herself, to watch everyone start making their way to their seats and for all the audience to get settled in the stands. So many cameras were pointing at the stage, pointing at the audience, pointing at the celebrities, pointing at an overview of the entire award ceremony.

As promised, she was whisked away to get changed in her performance outfit that had been created by Alexander McQueen’s team and adapted by the Big Hit team. The jewellery and the heels remained, as she slipped in her in-ears and took hold of her microphone. 

The dancers, made up of the team of her tour dancers, were in their costumes and ready. They looked as nervous as she did and were doing mini-choreographies in the hallway, making sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. 

“Okay, Grammy’s here we go,” Grace said when they crowded in a circle behind the award stage itself. “Remember, have fun, don’t worry and let’s go make history. BANG,” she finished and the dancers lifted their hands as they shouted, “TAN!”

“Ladies and gentlemen, please give a warm welcome to 5-time Grammy nominated member of BTS, Grace Chu,” the loud announcement came and she could hear the applause and then cheers as the curtain lifted.

On stage was a small orchestra, dressed in dinner suits and black dresses as they played the opening of the Sound of Music’s ‘Favourite Things.’ Though her in-ears were up on the highest, the crowd was still loud. She stood there in the middle, with the lights around her blacked out so no one could see. Her fingers gripped around her microphone then relaxed, as her track came in. 

Each light came on to show her standing there, in her blazer dress that was very short but presentable. Grace Chu - solo artist but a member of Bangtan Sonyeondan. By the time she got to the short rap part, the nerves and worries had gone away.

“When you see them racks, they stacked up like my ass yeah,” she sang/rapped, turning her body a little to the camera to show her hand grabbing a chunk of her backside to match the lyrics. She then fully turned to the camera, the dancers in formation on either side of her as she continued the verse, not knowing that thousands of miles away in Korea she would be causing a storm. 

The song faded out to the cheers and Grace watched as the audience stood, clapping and cheering for her. It took her moment to catch her breath at the view and in gratitude, she did a full bow as the cameras turned away for the next award to be presented. 

Out of breath and on a high, she turned back to the dressing rooms to find Bang PD waiting for her. “Amazing! That’s how you do it! That’s how you show them who's boss,” he yelled as he grabbed her, giving her a good squeeze that lifted her off the ground and then back down again. He was still yelling as they walked into the dressing room. 

Her parents were just as excited as she returned to her seat, more relaxed now the stressful part was over. “Well done,” her father patted her on the back and handed her a new glass of water as her mother passed a napkin to help dab away some sweat she had missed. 

The evening was long and the awards took forever. 

She didn’t win Best Pop Solo Performance so that kind of settled her for the night. If she didn’t win any awards, it didn’t matter as she killed her performance and made herself proud, made her boss proud, made her parents proud and no doubt made the boys and ARMY proud. 

“The nominees for Record of the Year are,” that sentence interrupted the conversation she was having and her mother nudged her to pay attention. 

“There’s no way I’ve won,” Grace muttered but had to smile when the camera came on her when her name had been announced as a nominee, causing the ARMY in the crowd to scream. 

She almost missed it. 

“And the winner is,” There was a giant pause and Grace turned to her mother, about to say ‘see told you’ when “7 Rings - Grace Chu.”

“What?” she said instead, turning towards the stage with a shocked expression as her mother pretty much squealed as she jumped up in the air, followed by Bang PD and then the boys at home. 

“Me?” she laughingly asked and she realised what was happening when her song was being played in the background. 

“No way,” she muttered to herself as she stood, her father helping her as she made her way to the stage where her award was waiting for her. She bowed towards the presenter, to the girl who brought the award on and stood in front of the microphone.

“I nearly missed the winner being announced by not believing I would win this,” Grace said as she stared at the award and then at the crowd in front of her. “So many people to thank and I didn’t bother to write a list. To Bang PD, to PDogg, to the team at Big Hit & HYBE and to everyone who believed in me when I started this solo career. Thank you for being a big support to me and thank you to BTS, my boys back at home who pushed me to make this song. And finally to ARMY,” she paused and glanced down at the award again. “Gamsahabnida,” she thanked in Korean. 

The crowd was loud as she was ushered off stage and Sejin was there to greet her, tears going down his cheeks. She realised then and only then, she had made history not only for her, for the company, for the boys, but for the future.

“Oh my god,” she laughed as she handed over the award to get engraved. 

By the time she had sat down with her award, they were announcing the last award for the night. She didn’t have time to fully process what was going on when Chris Martin walked on stage with a little Grammy award in his hand. 

He gave her a little smile before turning to the camera. 

“And the nominees for Album of the Year are.”

There were the expected cheers for each nominee, her nomination got the most cheers which caused Chris to laugh. He opened the envelope, paused and looked up. “The winner for Album of the Year,” he turned his attention straight to Grace. “In My Head by Grace Chu, produced by Bang PD & PDogg from Big Hit Entertainment. Congratulations.”

The noise was deafening as Grace covered her face with her hands, taking a moment to try her hardest not to cry. She felt hands on her shoulders and her wrists, she heard a lot of cheering as she finally looked up and met the proud yet teary eyes of her father. Everything she had ever wanted was to make him proud. And she had done it. 

She stood with Bang PD, who wiped his own eyes and she took hold of his hand as the two of them made it towards the stage. Chris Martin bowed towards her which made her smile and bow in return, the two exchanging Korean greetings before they finally hugged.

“Jin will be so proud,” he muttered into her ear and stood back to hand over the Grammy towards her, then moved to greet Bang PD. 

“Never,” Grace started then felt her throat close up as she held back her emotions once again. “Never did I imagine that I would be standing on this stage again, to accept the Grammy for Album of the Year and not have my boys with me. It’s bittersweet, I won’t lie but this award is not only for me and Bang PD and Big Hit but it’s for them and for every single person who worked on this album with me. To my parents, thank you for always supporting and loving me. To my boys, I’ll see you soon and to ARMY and my man, I love you both immensely.”

She bowed deeply to the crowd as they stood and applauded, letting her have a moment before she handed the award to Bang PD and stepped to the side to let him have his speech. 

Grace felt Chris’s hand on her shoulder which he gave a squeeze, grounding her in place as they all walked backstage to find her parents and the team there to greet her. It was then and only then, could finally break down in the arms of her parents. 

Sejin had the boys on the phone, putting it on speakerphone as they screamed their congratulations across the line. She couldn’t get her words out as her father hugged her, holding her tight to his chest as all the worry, the nerves, the anticipation and the disappointment flooded out of her all at once. 

She could go back home to Korea, to Jin, as a twice Grammy-awarded artist. And they could all be proud of Korea’s Noona.  

[venusvity]

˙ ˖ ✶ THE HOT RUNDOWN: VENUS AT THE MMA'S!

After their notable absence from the MAMA awards, VENUS graced the 2023 Melon Music Awards with their presence and too much fanfare. Stepping onto the red carpet in Versace with all their dresses being from the vault. Constellations were happy to see the girls in matching attire for the first time in what felt like forever at an award show, as usually Baebi would be styled to stand out amongst her members whilst under Angelico. Gold Versace necklaces and earrings accentuated their looks, giving them an elegant and high-fashion appearance.

˙ ˖ ✶ NOMINATIONS!

Album of the year .... BURN THE WITCH ( WON )

Artist of the Year ( WON )

Record of the Year ( WON )

Song of the Year .... FOREVER US

Millions Top 10 Artist ( WON )

Best Female Solo ... BAEBI ( WON )

Best Female Group ( WON )

Hot Trend Award

Kakao Favorite Star Award

Music Video of the Year ... FOREVER US

Best Female Performance

Songwriter Award ... CHLOE LEE ( WON )

˙ ˖ ✶ PERFORMANCE!

VENUS' seven-minute stage was described as "a concert-like experience," with the girls often interacting with the crowd during their performances. It was also noted that the girls sang 100% live with little backing vocals, making the award show feel even more like their show. Though there weren't many crowd shots during the broadcast, through fan cams of other groups, it was clear to see other idols enjoyed their performance as much as the girls enjoyed performing.

Starting off the performance was a solo performance by Baebi. Originally starting with the instrumental of "Baebi's Revenge" and her silhouette illuminated by a bright blue screen behind her, the music quickly glitches out along with the screen behind her, leaving the arena in complete darkness and silence. Then, the stage lights up again, this time a mixture of bright colors illuminating a smiling Baebi. "Are you ready, MMA?" Baebi shouted into her microphone. The crowd erupted into cheers as the instrumental of her hit single "Bubble Pop!" began to play.

During the performance, Baebi adlibbed a lot, her favorite phrase being "Let me hear you, MMA!" as well as egging the crowd on to dance and sing with her. The performance was high energy and a fun experience for Baebi and the audience.

After a dance break, the stage goes black once again with a slowed-down instrumental of their newest single, "DRAMA," beginning to play as they presumedly get the stage ready for the song. With a flash of light, Chloe, Jiah, Bliss, and Sena are on stage in suits while Baebi is presumedly off stage getting into costume.

They do a short dance number as four, and their backup dancers have microphones and flashing cameras as props. Chloe is the center of this dance break, giving a confident performance that distracts the audience from Baebi sneaking back on stage in a matching suit, joining just in time for a feedback sound to play through the arena. Chloe looks around with a cocky smirk on her lips before shouting: "Make some noise, MMA!"

The performance starts at the chorus, with each girl giving a strong and exhilarating performance. Though, the performance of DRAMA doesn't last long. After Sena counts down from 3, the beat changes into one no one has heard before. Bliss, slightly out of breath, struts down the stage with conviction, undoing the belt around her waist to reveal a sparkly silver two-piece outfit, the other girls joining her and following her actions and revealing their silver outfits as well.

"I hope y'all don't mind...We wanted to play a new song for y'all," Bliss attests to the crowd, smiling excitedly as she looks to her side at Jiah who lifts up her handheld microphone.

"We just wanted to remind everybody..." Jiah smirked as the five of them stood center stage in their usual V formation. When Jiah looks at Sena, the youngest smiles brightly at her before turning towards the crowd.

"I am the best," Sena sings, ushering in a new beat. Each girl sings the line before the beat drop hits, and the girls begin their performance. They revealed their second pre-release single, I AM THE BEST at MMA, releasing the song on streaming platforms as well as releasing the music video. The song was a massive hit because of the MMA performance, which was just as high-energy and confident as the rest of the performance.

VENUS' stage was praised for its energy and unwavering stage presence. Netizens said they made the MMA's "The VENUS Show," and they weren't mad about it. Twitter was flooded with videos and screenshots of the girls during their performance, many calling it the highlight of the night.

˙ ˖ ✶ PERFORMANCE LOOK BOOK!

˙ ˖ ✶ FAN FAVORITE MOMENTS!

truly, the stars of the night!

baby....they SWIPED this award show, like, they were not here to play!

twitter was calling them the female bts. it was crazy. of course, constellations got up in arms about that but it was a compliment!

it was the first award show venus had attended in a LONG time so they were a bit rusty on how to act jfsdnfjsd

on the red carpet, bliss had to direct everyone on where to stand and how to pose even adjusting chloe's position at on point to "better the shot" which had all the girls laughing instead of posing.

opposed to previous award shows in the past, the girls looked actually happy to be at the MMA's. jiah would go on to like a tweet saying "they're smiling because they're not at angelico." with a picture of the girls smiling and laughing in their seats.

they were sat next to shinee which was a big moment for all of them seeing all of venus are massive showls. in their Instagram posts after the show, all the girls would post selfies they took with the shinee members.

despite winning a lot of awards that night, the girls only got emotional when accepting record of the year and artist of the year. chloe and baebi getting the most emotional for obvious reasons. it was a crazy year for them.

jiah's acceptance speech went viral because of her crying in the midst of it. "i want to thank-ah!" she'd start before being overcome with emotions, slapping her hand over her mouth and turning away to begin crying. bliss and sena could be seen laughing at her as they rubbed her back. it's now used as a reaction meme between constellations.

when chloe won the songwriter award, she was gagged. truly, no other word for it. when the camera went to her, her jaw was on the floor while the other venus girls were jumping and cheering around her. after a minute, she snapped out of it and did a full 90 degree bow when she stood up.

"i never thought i would be recognized for my songwriting...i didn't even write a speech for this because i thought it was too crazy for me to win this award. i seriously can't believe it. i think i'm going to throw up when i get off stage," chloe would go onto say in her acceptance speech before laughing. when the camera went back to the crowd, baebi was recording on her phone like a mom while laughing and crying for her friend.

the girls went crazy for every performance, seriously, they were having SO much fun! even with songs they didn't know, they were going crazy. they went the craziest for shinee, riize, ive, and kiss of life!

"i really can't believe i got to see shinee at an award show in 2023...isn't that crazy? i thought it was crazy. i couldn't believe they were real," bliss would go onto say during a live she did once she got home, taking her makeup off.

the girls all did lives when they got home to talk about their night and it had constellations in a frenzy because everyone was conflicted on who's live to watch dskjfnskfd their views kept fluxating because constellations were bouncing between girls.

lots and LOTS of hints and spoilers for their next album!

OVERALL! the girls had and amazing time and are super excited to start promoting I AM THE BEST! ❤️

[halfmoondaze]

Forward

Previous

Series Masterlist

Authors note: this is a collaboration with the amazing @iguessweallcrazyithinktho

“Guys its time” Urban yelled from the livingroom. 

Its been 5 months since the “Come Home The Kids Miss You” Tour was cancelled. I tried to force happiness into my life, but failed. 

My head was all over the place and so was my room. I could tell it drove Jack insane, as he is an organized person, but he never made me feel less about it and just helped me out without me asking, as an act of service. I learned along the way, that was his love language.

It wasn’t until we left New York, that it became evident to everyone else that I was having a massive decline to my mental health. 

It was getting difficult for me to eat, sleep, get out and maintain my physical health; and it seemed like everyone but me was aware of it. Which is why it made sense for Jack to stay over at my place all the time to check on me; and for me to stay over at his. 

As time went by, it got to a point where moving in together seemed like the natural thing to do, so when he asked the question in one of our many long nights together, I said ‘yes’ with no hesitation. That’s how we end up moving into the house of our dreams after spending so much time finding the perfect house. 

I did had my good and bad days; but when we started living together, there was so much I learned from Jack. Without him knowing, he was teaching me how to structure my days while dealing with a decline in my mental health. 

He was more than I could ever asked for. He was patient, caring and empathetic. Sometimes I thought to myself I didn’t deserved him. Sometimes, I felt his empathetic nature was a factor that helped bounce back.

Two days before Christmas, he flew all my family to Atlanta from _(y/h/t). In those two weeks I had them all to myself, everyone was able to see the old Y/N again. The one Jack though he had lost for good. 

As New Year rolled around, Jack got back to writing and recording music here and there, in his home studio. To make me feel include, he would invite me to his recording sessions and asked me for my opinion which he would take very seriously.

One night, in one of those studio sessions, he caught me writing some verses in a piece of paper. He didn’t say anything, he just walked over to me from behind without me knowing, and briefly massaged my shoulders, followed by placing a kiss on top of my head, before getting back to working. After he called it a night, we started walking back home and before we entered the house, he turned to me said “I’m so proud of you”.

As time went by, the visits to the studio became more frequent, as I started spending most of my time writing and recording songs with help of Jack. Even though he didn’t wanted to be included in the credits, he was a lot of help when it came to the writing process of the album. 

I had finally found my sense of self. I found healing in my music. There was no deadline or limits, as my label informed me the moment I told them I started making music again. 

I had no recollection of when I started or finished the album. All the sudden I had 12 songs. 

Jack had invited both of our families and closest friends to a gathering at our house, to see the nominees announcement. 

“Oh my gosh Y/N you have 8 nominations!” Camille cheered.

“What?” I couldn’t believe it as I remained frozen while everyone else hugged me and congratulated me. This was more than what I could ever asked for.

JACKHARLOW

liked by yourusername, urbanwyatt and 1,000,364 others

jackharlow my girl is a grammy nominated artist!!!! couldnt be more proud of you and everything you've accomplished. I love you @Y/N

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Jack walked out of the vehicle first, then he walked to your side and opened the door for you. Then he took your hand as he helped you out of the car. 

The moment you stepped into the red carpet, you were instantly hit by the blinding flashes of the cameras and the sound of photographers shouting at the two fo you simultaneously indicating you were to look at. You and Jack would steal a few glances and smile at each other here and there.

At one point you started to feel anxious, and Jack was quick to sense your change of demeanor and whispered to you: “You good?” 

“Yeah” you said smiling at him.

Then he smiled back at you and kissed your cheek. 

That caused the crowd to go nuts, and the camera clicks intensified. It was clear this was going to be news all over social media the following day. 

Afterwards, you and Jack did some interview for the following 30 minutes and he made sure to not let you out of his side. And people couldn’t get over how he was so attentive of you the entire time. 

Later in the night, you were having so much fun inside the venue, as you were sitting next to Lil Nas goofing around, and meeting other respected artists you admire. You were so in the moment, that you forgot you were nominated for various a categories, until the category you were nominated for was announced. 

“And the Grammy for Best New Artist, goes to…” Billie Eilish stopped as she opened the envelope.

“My queen, Y/N!!" Billie announced. 

The camera focused to you. 

You covered you mouth in shock as everyone around you clapped for you. You hugged your manager, producers, fellow songwriters, your best friend Camille; and last but not least Jack. It was an adorable moment where he held for a little bit longer than rest before you went to stage to accept your award. 

You hugged Billie and then received your award. 

“Thank you so much” you said softly. “Um…I’m going to cry” 

You tried to not break down in tears as you continued your speech. 

“I want to thank my manager Marc, Camille, my mom, my fans. I love you all so much and thank you for your support. Thank you for my producer, for executing it incredibly and making this album possible. And Jack, I love you so much, you’re amazing. Thanks to all of my friends and my family. Thank you so much” you said nearly breaking in tears at the end. 

The camera slightly cut to Jack who had the brightest smile as he saw you on that stage. He couldn't be any more proud.

That night you got home with four more awards, for "Best Music Video", "Best Pop Vocal Album", "Record of The Year" and "Album of The Year".

Y/N Y/L/N

liked by jackharlow, urbanwyatt and 1,000,364 others

yourusername mil gracias @grammys esta noche me la llevo en el corazón por siempre

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lilnas legendary

bellahadid my best girl

dojacat you deserve it 🤍🤍🤍

grammys 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

After the award show was over, you and Jack got back into the limo. You both couldn’t contain your excitement as you buckled in.

“I knew you could do it baby!” Jack said pulling you into a hug.

You laughed into his chest running your hand over his back.

Jack pulled away from the hug and kissed you hard, but passionately taking your breath away.

When you pulled away you smiled softly at him.

“I couldn’t have done this with out you baby.”

“No!” Jack said abruptly as he took your hand in his. “You did this all by yourself. Don’t give me credit for anything ok?”

He placed a kiss on the back of your hand and winked at you.

“um can you take us back to the hotel?” Jack asked the driver to which the guy nodded.

“Wait, I thought we were going to the after party.” you said confused.

“Nah I got something better for us.”

When you arrived at the hotel, Jack guided you to the room.

When you opened the door you were meet with rose petals all over the ground.

A gasp left your lips as you walked in further. “Jack this is fucking beautiful.”

Tears started to form in your eyes as you looked around the room. When you turned to Jack to thank him, a gasp left your lips as you saw him holding a shimmering diamond in his hand.

“A year ago today, I fell in love with you. You’re the love of my life. I didn’t know it at the time, but now I know that heaven sent you to me. You’ve come so far, and if you allow me, there’s nothing I would love more than to be next to you through your journey.

Jack got on one knee. 

“Y/N Y/M/N Y/L/N would you marry me?”

-

Taglist

@heavyhitterheaux

@yamahex

@harlowsbby

@harlowcomehome

@jackharloww

@harlowsbby

@carma-fanficaddict

@msliz

@baxteravenue

@kentuckyboyharlow

@yonduismarrypoppins

@rina-writes

@kalaharlow

@jacks-cafe

@ogfangirlc

@sathina

@avengersbtch

@alreadyjackbestfriend 

[cha-ra-nui]

Awards Section

This is the awards section of my 2023 retrospective. The other parts of the retrospective are linked below.

Playlist | Prefix | Part 1: Music | Part 2: Anime and Other Media | Awards Section

Song of the Year:

WOODZ – Drowing: WOODZ has Album of the Year secured with OO-LI, no question about that. But when it comes to a single song, as good as Drowing is, I think I just love the EP more as a whole. If he’d just dropped Drowing as a single it might’ve taken the title.

Key – Easy: I can’t give it to Key again. Not three years in a row, and certainly not for this song. Killer or Heartless I could maybe justify, but I didn’t nominate them, I nominated Easy. I can’t even explain why I love it so much. Is it the best song I heard all year? No. But it’s my most played track anyway.

Sam Haft, Andrew Underberg, Alex Brightman – 2 Minutes Notice: I have half a mind to give it to this. Wouldn’t that be funny, a showtune from a YouTube cartoon taking SOTY? Ha. Haha. Hahaha. Haaaaaa… It would be funnier it wasn’t seriously a top candidate for that title.

Winner: King Gnu – SPECIALZ This is it. SOTY for a group I never expected to hand it to. Not because I disliked them or anything, I enjoyed every time they crossed my path. But because SOTY usually goes to an artist I love, and I only know King Gnu from their Anime tie-ins. And normally if a group delivers a song this good I would be digging my way through their albums, but I’m not. This song is special, and don’t want context for it.

Album of the Year:

Key – Killer: A stretch, I’m aware. In fact, the only reason why this isn’t getting the title is because 11/14 songs already released in 2022, and it got album of the year then. It’s by far my most played record of 2023 though, and one of my favorite K-pop albums period.

Onew – Circle: Yeah, I know, just nominate every SHINee solo, will you? No, I won’t. Taemin’s just missed out. See, I’m totally not biased, Circle was just that good. A stunningly beautiful album start to finish.

Ryugujo – 2 Much: Debut of the year, hands down. Ryugujo’s first EP is exactly as fierce as Avu-chan wanted, and I found this group impossible to look away from ever since.

Albums that I regularly listened to in full and therefore get my recommendation but missed out on a nomination, in no particular order:

VIXX – Continuum: Far from their strongest work, otherwise it would’ve taken the title by default. But even with half the members missing, it’s still VIXX, and it’s the best K-pop boy group record released in 2023.

æspa – Drama: I have no excuse; this is just fun. Sometimes you need an EP that isn’t ashamed of being batshit K-pop.

Red Velvet – Chill Kill: Very pretty and cohesive album. SM saves all their pleasant-sounding music for their girl groups.

Purple Kiss – Cabin Fever: Purple Kiss’ best EP to date.

Dreamcatcher – VillainS: Enjoyed this EP way more than I thought I would.

Kiss Of Life – Born To Be XX: These girls are going places.

Winner: WOODZ – OO-LI There was never any doubt about which release would take album of the year, because WOODZ utterly obliterated the competition. Every other nomination, including the Key album that is totally not from the year before anyway, at least has one song I don’t care for. But OO-LI never misses. Not even 7/10 misses. Every single song on this EP stands out, and they come together beautifully. WOODZ is enlisting this January, and I already don’t know what to do without being able to rely on him to deliver great comebacks for the next two years. Come back safely, and never stop making music.

Artist of the Year:

I keep struggling with this one because most of my favorite releases tend to be from tenure artists who drop one comeback and then vanish for the rest of the year. If you asked me who I admired the most, it would be WOODZ. If you asked me who I listened to the most, it would be Key. If you asked me who surprised me the most, it would be Ryugujo. If you asked me who had the most releases I loved though, I’m stuck. The list of artists who released more than one album which I enjoyed is short. Dreamcatcher, Kiss Of Life, æspa, and that’s it, I’m stuck. So you know what? Fuck it. I won’t get the chance to do that again for two years.

Winner: WOODZ Between OO-LI, a world tour, and Amnesia, WOODZ had a great year. He hasn’t missed once in his career, but right now he’s on a level of his own. No one else active this year has delivered this level of consistency and quality. WOODZ is a gem, and I don’t think it’s possible to lavish his music with too much praise right now.

Miscellaneous Music:

Best Music Video: Heartsteel – Paranoia

Best Choreography: Le Sserafim – Eve, Psyche & The Bluebird’s Wife

Best Debut Single: Ryugujo – 2 Much

Top 15 B-sides (no videos, only one entry per artist):

Key – Heartless

WOODZ – Busted

Taemin – She Loves Me, She Loves Me Not

Infinite – Time Difference

Kim Sejeong – Jenga

Red Velvet – One Kiss

Onew – No Parachute

VIXX – Savage

Purple Kiss – T4ke

Dreamcatcher – Propose

æspa – Don’t Blink

IVE – Blue Blood

SHINee – Identity

ATEEZ – Dune

U-Know – Tarantino

Best Insert Song: Helluva Boss – 2 Minutes Notice

Other Media

Game Of The Year: The Legend Of Zelda – Tears Of The Kingdom Not the most creative pick, but sometimes Nintendo delivers, and their games are magical when they do.

Anime Of The Year: Link Click Season 2 Since I didn’t watch everything I wanted to get to, this might change in hindsight, once I feel better and catch up with shows like Oshi no Ko, Vinland Saga, and Tengoku Daimakyou. Jujutsu Kaisen also had a strong season, and Shounen does not get much better than its Hidden Inventory and Shibuya Incident arcs, but ultimately Link Click is the show I cared about the most. Everything in this show feels intentional. Every mystery has a satisfying pay-off, and that earns it enough trust from the audience to expect a satisfying continuation (and hopefully conclusion) in the already confirmed third season. I for one can’t wait to see what happens next and considering the time travel aspect of the show and season two’s final twist, what already happened. I love the characters and want to see them get out of this story safe and sound.

Opening Of The Year: Link Click Season 2 There was competition, certainly, but in the end, nothing touched this masterpiece. They made a song that would sound good played forwards and backwards, just so they could rewind the opening. It looks great and is a great fit for a time travel mystery. I got to respect the craft that went into this.

Ending Of The Year: Oshi No Ko I didn’t have much opportunity to mention Queen Bee in this retrospective, but they delivered on this ending theme.

Movie Of The Year: Oppenheimer I have half a mind to praise Puss In Boots more, but Oppenheimer is a staggeringly well made movie, and I would be remiss if I didn’t give it the crown.

[fell-in-love-with-a-fantasy]

ok z thoughts on the grammys? and the winners👀🎤

ohmygod i have so many thoughts

FIRST OF ALL!! everyone clowning that rep tv was next but then taylor announcing a whole other ALBUM!!

okay also i may be biased just because i LOVE noah kahn and his music so much but i really want him to win new artist :( him or gracie tbh but i’m happy for victoria mońet even though i’ve never really listened to her music!

also yesssss i’m so happy about what was i made won song of the year

i didn’t rly like flowers tbh because it was so overplayed but good for miley for winning

BOYGENUIS WITH ALT ALBUM OF THE YEAR YESS I LOVE THAT ALBUM

okay finally i think this might be a unpopular opinion but i don’t love midnights winning album of the year..like don’t get me wrong I LOVE TAYLOR and i like midnights and i’m happy for her! but i like some of the other albums that were nominated better especially since i think most of them haven’t won album of the year before?? like i would’ve been happier with the record, guts or sos winning!

anyway what are your thoughts??

[krispyweiss]

Rewind: Warren Zevon - Preludes: Rare and Unreleased Recordings (2007)

Editor’s note: With Warren Zevon’s long-overdue nomination to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame finally arriving, Sound Bites rewinds the tape back to Zevon’s posthumous Preludes.

Warren Zevon knew who he was before the rest of us had ever heard of the man with the world’s-greatest given/stage name.

Cigarettes make the sun come up/whiskey makes the sun go down, he sings on “Empty Hearted Town,” one of a number of songs that inexplicably had to wait for Zevon’s death before being released.

It finally arrived on 2007’s Preludes: Rare and Unreleased Recordings, a two-disc set compiled from tapes found in a storage garage after Zevon died in 2003.

Disc one is dedicated to pre-Excitable Boy demos including such works-in-progress as “Accidentally Like a Martyr,” which illustrates Zevon’s relentless honing of a potential masterpiece to its potential, and a raucous, ska-flecked take of “Werewolves of London” that proves electric piano was not the right instrument for this melody.

With “London”’s exception, these early numbers are centered in and around Los Angeles. And Zevon, with a million-dollar bill he can’t break in his pocket and unpaid bar tabs all over town, was an observant denizen of - and eager participant in - its seedier side.

Some of these songs - “Hasten Down the Wind,” “Carmelita,” “Poor, Poor Pitiful Me” - would be made famous by Linda Ronstadt, though Zevon released them, too. And the aforementioned orphans, including “Stop Rainin’ Lord,” “Studebaker” and “The Rosarita Beach Café,” seem ready-made for the early Zevon LPs on which they never appeared.

The back half of Preludes is dedicated mostly to conversations recorded around the time of 2000’s Life’ll Kill Ya, where the then-53-year-old Zevon looked back. And forward.

“I don’t think I’m middle-aged,” Zevon says. “I don’t know anybody that’s 106.

“… I think you have to spend a fair amount of time realizing that you will be (dead), so you remember to enjoy everything that you possibly can. … You always want to try and tell younger people that, which is very difficult.”

A solo-acoustic live version of “Don’t Let Us Get Sick” from 1999 closes the LP with a kick in the gut - just as Zevon would have wanted.

While Preludes is not the best place for a newcomer to start - Excitable Boy and Transverse City are Sound Bites’ recommendations - the album is essential, if melancholy, listening for existing fans.

And now - with the 20th anniversary of Zevon’s death and, perhaps, a Rock Hall induction looming - is a good time to cue it up again.

2/2/23

[briamichellewrites]

19

- I know I’m skipping ahead but I was too excited to wait!

February 23, 2000. Bria was at the Grammys waiting to hear who won the award for Best New Artist. She was nominated among Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, Macy Gray, Kid Rock, and Susan Tedeschi. Her album, Memories was doing well on the Adult Contemporary charts. It took months of writing, recording, and editing. It got Jeff’s approval before it was officially released. Critics gave it very good reviews. They liked everything about the album.

The day before, she was called upon to perform. The show had a last-minute cancellation and they needed an artist to cover for them. She met the producer in person to discuss what song she wanted to do. They decided on To Love You More by Celine Dion. He informed her that she would be in the audience. So, no pressure.

“Yep. No pressure”, she joked.

Brad and Mike had her practice the song after hearing of the situation. They had her practice with Celine’s vocals and then with the instrumental version. They even had her practice how she was going to stand and her movements. She nailed it every time! They were excited for her! She crossed her fingers. Was she nervous? Hell yeah! That was to be expected.

They would be at home watching her. Celine was informed that she would sing her song. She thought it would be a great opportunity for her to prove she could sing and promote her music. Both she and her husband, Rene heard her single, Better Days on the radio. Her voice sounded like she had years of training and experience. Brad and the band were at home watching the show, as Bon Jovi sat with her in the audience.

When her name was called, she took a second to process that she won! The band got up and took turns hugging her as she walked to the stage. The guys were excited about their best friend winning! No way! That’s Bria!

“I first want to thank Richie Sambora for telling me earlier that Britney Spears was going to win…”

The audience laughed.

“I also want to thank my parents for encouraging me and believing in me. If anyone here is drinking tonight, please get a sober ride home. Thank you.”

The audience clapped as she walked backstage. Melissa Etheridge, Sarah MacLachlan, and Sheryl Crow took turns giving her a hug and congratulations. She was photographed by the media holding her award. They also asked her questions before she sat back down in the audience.

Jon, Dorothea, and the other guys congratulated her. Thank you. When it was her time to sing, she gave her award to Jon to hang on to before going backstage again. She went on stage as she was introduced. The audience clapped for her. She took a deep breath as the music started. Everyone knew she could do it! Though, they could only imagine how nervous she was.

Celine listened to her singing her song. She held her breath, like a nervous parent watching her daughter. Her voice and performance was… there were no words to describe it. Tears of happiness were in her eyes. She had just started her career, but she sang like she was a true professional. She knew how to breathe, stand, project her voice, and keep time. The camera went over to see her reaction. It caught her with her hand over her heart. She had pride in her eyes.

She held her arms out at the last beat. The audience gave her a standing ovation, as she bowed. Celine blew her a kiss. She had proven herself as a singer and as a performer. Mike and the band were ecstatic! Oh my god! Oh my god! Oh my god!

At the after-party, they introduced themselves with a hug. She and Rene both congratulated her on her performance. Thank you! That meant a lot to her. How much training did she have? She did theater and voice lessons while away at school. They were impressed. She joked about practicing for about four hours the day before. They learned that she could play music by ear.

What instruments did she use? She played the guitar and piano. Initially, she wanted to be an alternative country singer but she fought with her label over that. They wanted her to be more pop. She was going to do that just to get them off her back. Then, they decided that her voice was more suited for Adult Contemporary, so they went with that. What label was she on? Warner Music. A couple of her friends were starting an independent label, so she was going to join them.

They had the same issues she had with not having creative control. So by joining them, she would be able to experiment and put out music she wanted to make. They understood what it was like to have to fight for control. Almost every artist did. They were excited to hear more music from her in the future. She thanked them. Before saying goodbye, they took a picture together.

She also got to talk to the Backstreet Boys, Britney Spears, Ricky Martin, who was very impressed she was fluent in Spanish; Whitney Houston, Chris Cornell and Bruce Springsteen. While talking to Chris, she mentioned her friend, Chester who was a fan of his. She took out her phone and called him.

“Hey, Chessy. It’s Bria. I have someone here who wants to talk to you.”

As he was asking her who it was, she handed the phone over to Chris. Did he freak out? Hell yeah! He was cool about it and he talked to him like an old friend. They talked for about twenty minutes. During their conversation, they agreed to meet up sometime. He handed her the phone back while asking if he was always that enthusiastic. Yes. Yes, he was. He laughed.

Phoenix called her and they both cried together tears of happiness after she went somewhere private. He was so proud of her! Was she proud of herself? Yes, she was. Good because she deserved it! The entire night was a dream come true! She didn’t care if it was cliché because it was true. For over a year, they had worked hard to put together an album and now, the hard work had paid off. She wiped her tears away and agreed that it had.

“I love you and I can’t wait to hear all about your night!”

“I love you too. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

Faith Hill and her husband, Tim McGraw saw her coming back to everyone. They also noticed that she had been crying. Was she okay? She laughed. Yes, she had just been talking to her boyfriend on the phone and her tears were ones of happiness. They laughed with her before telling her how well she had done performing. Thank you.

Linkin Park was calling each other about her performance. To say they were proud of her was an understatement! They were all going to see her the following afternoon after she slept in. Mike was still working through his break up with Anna.

He learned her baby wasn’t his. After being caught together too many times, Brad and Rob were forced to come out as a couple. Rob came out as gay while Brad came out as bisexual. They congratulated them and apologized for forcing them to come out.

Chester was up and down, as was his marriage. It wasn’t going to last. He was looking at other women but he had yet to cross the line. Mike invited him to hang out, so he wasn’t alone. It was because of that, they became close friends. Joe was still single. He joked about liking his video games too much to have a girlfriend.

It was very late when Bria got home. She put her award on the kitchen counter before going upstairs, getting her pajamas on and hanging up her dress. After taking off her makeup, she crawled into bed exhausted. It wasn’t long before she fell asleep.

@zoeykaytesmom @feelingsofaithless @alina-dixon

[thesinglesjukebox]

USHER FT. SUMMER WALKER AND 21 SAVAGE, "GOOD GOOD"

Song title *handshake emoji* score...

[6.64]

TA Inskeep: I love the lyrical conceit of this. It's a bit off-brand for Usher, who even admits in the first verse, "Usually my exes turn to enemies" -- and who's recorded more songs about their exes? But this is so positive, across Usher's, Walker's, and 21's verses; it's also quite buoyant for a defiantly midtempo record (that bass thump is doing a lot of work). Walker sounds great alongside one of the great R&B artists and singers of the past 30 years. Even 21, whom I usually scorn, fits right in here. Genuinely superb R&B.  [9]

Dave Moore: A solid breakup jam, albeit a little Madame Tussauds -- but I would pay to see Usher's likeness there and maybe, if the guards aren't looking, touch his abs. Diminishing returns for collaborators, though; I wish 21 Savage would just start licensing his name for songs without feeling obligated to rap on them.  [6]

Jeffrey Brister: Love changes as you grow older, and sometimes saying what you feel can be a little goofy. But being vulnerable and honest and direct can transform corniness to earnestness. The lyrics are silly but affecting, mature and heartfelt. There’s history behind them, lessons learned from pain. And it’s also got a pitch perfect sex-jam production, which is the kind of delightful irony that I can get behind. [8]

Alfred Soto: Usher's best album since 2004 has stronger jams, the mid-tempo ones especially. His forked tongue of a falsetto flicks at this by-the-numbers breakup jam. Summer Walker's fine. 21 Savage offers to help her pay for a salon. That's generosity, folks. [7]

Daniel Montesinos-Donaghy: The key figure behind this sweet mid-tempo jam is Nija Charles, a Grammy-nominated songwriter that’s also behind some other songs you may know. On her Youtube account, there’s a video from summer 2022 showing her working through the creative process in a studio. At one point, the video mutes and the subtitle "NIJA FINALIZING AN USHER RECORD" pops up; with no other credits on Usher’s latest LP, let’s assume "Good Good" was being developed at this point. Moments later, a snippet plays with Charles’ voice: “kissing the past goodbye […] / we can’t be friends.” (Internet sleuths believe this song will be on Ariana Grande’s upcoming album.) "Good Good" is a warm handshake that sounds genuinely sincere coming from Usher and Summer Walker (21, not so much), but it’s also interesting in the wider context of Charles’ career, exploring both sides of an emotional situation. Sometimes you stay friends, and sometimes you just don’t. [7]

Nortey Dowuona: LA Reid started as a drummer for Pure Essence, then a drummer for The Deele, which led him to form a label with Kenneth Edmonds called LaFace co-funded by Clive Davis. And then he signed 14 year old Usher Raymond IV, held onto him after he lost his voice, then sent him to Diddy. After the mixed success of Usher's self-titled debut, co-executive produced by Diddy, Reid relaunched Usher's career with My Way, his partner Kenneth an executive producer. I'm saying this to say, there's a reason I am rating this pretty solid 8 song a 0, I hope you look up Antonio Reid and Drew Dixon and I will say no more on the matter. [0]

Aaron Bergstrom: Producers Mel & Mus stretch out a pleasantly nuanced tightrope of simultaneous attraction, heartbreak, and nostalgia, and one at a time Usher, Walker, and Savage step out onto it. Usher can't make it through the first two lines of the hook without equivocating, and even though you probably ain't getting back together, he's going to leave the door open a crack. (Come on, remember how much your parents love him? What, are you just going to start from scratch with some new guy?) Walker wants that door shut but she wants you to shut it, and honestly the sooner you find someone new and move on, the better. (Now, has she found someone new? That's none of your business.) Savage is taking big swings all over the place, and while they don't all hit (I've never paid for a woman's plastic surgery before, but I'm pretty sure you're supposed to keep that to yourself) you have to give him credit for exploring new dimensions of partnership (If you can't go halves on a baby, why not go halves on a salon?). Honestly, I'm rooting for all three of them. [7]

Oliver Maier: One of those collaborations where the whirr of corporate gears seems almost to drown out whatever nice things might be happening underneath. As far as I can make out: Usher is Ushering pleasantly, Summer Walker is SZAing adequately, 21 Savage is... starting to feel something like this decade's Big Sean? I really want to do a qualitative adjective (qualitative adjective) line here but that's obviously going to be the subheader joke and everyone else is probably going to do one too. [5]

Katherine St. Asaph: Usher's Dorian Gray painting must be found and studied. [7]

Brad Shoup: I had to do a triple-take at the end of Walker's verse -- I thought she was singing "lovers & friends." That's the power of Confessions, I guess: twenty years later, a slow-jam single that I thought was a sly inversion of "Yeah!" still has legs.  [7]

Will Adams: Usher in confessional mode still works; "Good Good" captures the bittersweetness of quashing feelings for an ex in favor of taking the high road and being okay with that. It's not until 21's verse where the "haha just kidding... unless?" subtext surfaces, but the placement following Usher's and Summer's verses serves as that dormant yearning that adds an additional dimension. [7]

Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: A total masterpiece of guys lying to you -- perhaps the finest example of the form since “Suspicious Minds.” When Usher says he’ll be happy when you find another? A lie. When Summer Walker says she doesn’t do drama? A misdirection. When 21 Savage promises to fund your small business? A total fabrication. [8]

Ian Mathers: This is easily the most I've ever related to Usher. I told my ex that last sentence would probably be most of my blurb and she agreed I should go with that. [9]

Isabel Cole: I have in fact long believed that there should be more songs about being on decent terms with an ex. [6]

[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]

[bangtanhoneys]

The Grammy Awards - Part Three.

Part 2

It was amazing how quickly the South Korean government could move when it needed to. The news had arrived on the President’s desk the moment the Grammy’s had ended in Los Angeles, 17 hours behind them. It was all over other various media sites as Seoul and the rest of the nation were waking up to the news that BTS had secured two Grammy wins with their female member, Grace Chu. 

She had won 7 Rings - Record of the Year and In My Head - Album of the Year, with Bang-PD & PDogg also receiving their own Grammy’s as producers of the album. It was a huge accomplishment considering BTS had been up for similar awards so many times and had walked home empty handed every time. The fact that they had been even nominated was a huge accomplishment but now they could hold their heads up high and say their female member had won it for them. 

The military had given Jimin, Jungkook, Yoongi & Namjoon an extra day of leave after the news had arrived so they could be part of Grace’s welcome home party. The government had been quick to act - a hero’s welcome home for opening the door to the rest of the world of idols and K-Pop that a Grammy could be won. 

Of course, some said it was because her song was in English and that she was British had a hand in it. Her citizenship was always a bone of contention amongst some Koreans that she had never given up her British identity, preferring to be dual. And there were the anti-fans who thought their groups deserved it more than she did, that she hadn’t done any hard work, hadn’t done any of the lyrics (although Grace had her name on every song credit) and it just continued as the news was pumped around. 

No one cared though. 

It came down to one simple thing: Grace Chu had won two Grammys in a single night, for an album she had worked her bum off for with two of the men that had always been number one supporters of her solo career. 

HYBE were already making plans to open a special display for the awards, her costumes, and her dress and hype it up even more. 

For Grace, it had been a blur. From the moment her name had been called for the first award, then the second, and then backstage where everyone had congratulated her and there were sooo many celebrities clambering to get a photo with her, and the boys were on the phone sending their congratulations and by the time they got back to the hotel with a police escort, Grace had simply asked: “What the hell has just happened?”

There was champagne, expensive bottles of it, being popped and her father had drunk at least one bottle on his own. Her mother had been calling Korea, telling their friends and family about the night and Sejin had been updating HYBE, Big Hit and the boys with what was going on. 

Grace sat down next to Bang-PD and he reached over, putting his hand on her knee to pat it. “Hell of a night?” he asked, laughing. 

“You could say that again,” she gently laughed and ran a hand over her face. She was more than ready to get the makeup off, get the dress off and have a long shower then crawl into bed. All the stress of the night had melted away the moment the hotel door opened.

“I’m proud of you though, Hea. You work exceedingly hard, double that of the boys and yet you never wanted anything at the end of the day. You simply go with the flow and if it happens, it happens. But look at what happened tonight - your performance and two awards in your name.”

“Our name,” Grace corrected with a grin. “Our name, PD-nim. You, me and PDogg. We each get our own in three months.”

“Three months?” he asked, looking horrified. “Hang on, I need to make some calls.”

She guessed he hadn’t heard that part when they had gone backstage to do photos and they had taken the awards off them, explaining that these were simply props and they would receive the actual ones in the post in three months. 

Sejin sat down next to her and let out a large breath, running a hand over his face, through his hair and slipped his glasses off. “Wonder if they're doing room service right now?” he asked, wiping the corner of his eye.

“I could do with a big greasy burger with extra pickles and a cola,” Grace sighed. If there was going to be a cheat day, now would be it. 

Bang-PD came back just as room service was bringing in trays of burgers and fries and cola, complimentary from the hotel for what she had won tonight. “Perfect timing,” he said as he swiped his own burger and took a seat next to his artist and her manager. 

“So, want to hear some good news?”

Grace and Sejin turned to look at him, eyebrows raised with matching expressions as their mouths were taking a bite out of their burgers. It made Bang-PD laugh and he waved a hand, letting them carry on eating.

“I spoke to the Grammys, we can pick up the awards on the way to the airport. They are going to rush-order them as it were. Took a bit of talking but we did it and the President has been on the phone.”

“President of South Korea?” both Grace and Sejin asked.

“That one. He’s got the information of our flight tomorrow and we’re landing in Incheon around 5:30pm so he’s going to roll out the red carpet as it were. It’s going to be a big hero’s welcome - press, photos, a little bit of a speech, and the boys are going to be there. They're off but they’ve been asked to come in their military dress for the day.”

“Jin is going to hate that,” Grace laughed as she threw the extra pickles in her mouth. “So is Yoongi.”

“From what I’ve heard, they're planning their own celebration dinner for you, us, and their families. So be warned,” Bang-PD said as he reached over to wipe some sauce from her chin.

“You always look after me,” Grace grinned as she took a napkin and wiped at her chin anyway.

“You are his favourite after all,” Sejin mentioned. 

Their flight was leaving Los Angeles at 10:50am so everyone said their goodnights and went to bed. The next morning, it was a bit of a hurry to get the crew moving though Grace’s parents had opted to stay an extra day to avoid the chaos that would be awaiting them when they got home. 

The airport was chaotic anyway and they had managed to get to the first class lounge without much issue even though there were plenty of people with cameras and phones out. The Grammy Awards, which had arrived three hours ago as promised, were locked in a large briefcase which went on with Bang-PD and a bodyguard and had to have special clearance. 

For Grace, it was still a bit of a blur. She hadn’t fully processed what had happened and she hadn’t fully realised the magnitude of winning such an award was going to bring to her, the boys, the company and the country. 

BTS had always talked about how the goal was a Grammy and though they didn’t need one to know their success, it would have been nice to point at it and say ‘We won that.’ No one had ever talked about what winning one would actually mean in the grander sense of things - it opened the doors for other artists out of South Korea to put forward for an award. That anything was now possible thanks to Grace opening up that opportunity. 

When she settled in her seat and they had taken off, she had sent a message to the group chat with the boys, unsure if any of them would be awake or active with the time difference.

‘On the flight home - it’s a 14-hour flight so I’ll see you at whatever time that is.’

Unsurprisingly, it was Yoongi who answered.

‘We have to wear our military dress uniforms. I hate you so much.’

Grace grinned and took a screenshot of the moment when her name flashed up on the screen when she had won her first Grammy and sent it over with the message: ‘Not my fault I won.’

He sent back a grumpy looking selfie but Grace knew underneath all that he was happy and excited and proud.

They were an hour away from landing when Sejin came over to her seat.

“So this is roughly how it’s going to happen - everyone is going off the plane first and us last. And then we’re going through like we normally do but they’ve laid out a red carpet and they're going to have military personnel lining the carpet. When we get to the doors, it’s the usual cameras, photos, bow and wave. There’s going to be a small stage with Bang-PD and we’ll have one Grammy out so they can take photos, answer a few questions and then finish.”

“All this because of the Grammys,” Grace groaned and rubbed her eyes. “They're making it sound like I won every championship in every sport for South Korea. Rather than it just being a music award.”

“They did this when Son Heung-min won his Golden Boot and they did this when the Parasite director, Bong Jun Ho came home after winning an Emmy,” Sejin reminded her. 

“God help them when someone wins an award worth winning then,” Grace yawned as she stretched up her arms and started getting herself ready. 

Her make up artist did a quick job of covering any eye bags and making her presentable, brushing out her long hair that had been tied up in a messy bun for the flight. It felt too much for something so little.

But then Grace had always been good at downplaying anything. 

Even something as big as this. 

She felt the nerves twist when the last passenger was off as was the rest of the team, leaving only Sejin, Bang-PD and three bodyguards left on the plane with Grace. The pilot bowed at her when she passed and thanked her for her contributions, to which she bowed back and thanked him for keeping her safe. 

As predicted, there was a red carpet from where she stepped off the plane to the long hallway which would take her to arrivals. Her bags were already collected by the team that had got off before her. 

Letting out a deep breath, Grace glanced towards Bang-PD who winked at her and gave her a gentle push forward so she would be the first one out of the doors with two bodyguards flanking her. 

She bowed in thanks to those military personnel who lined the hallway for her and she could hear the noise the closer she got towards the doors though they had been closed and blocked off by military and police. 

The moment they parted and the doors opened, the noise became overwhelming. Screams from fans, from the general public to ARMY, to the press as they all tried to get a picture as she stood there, bowing in thanks.

A hand on her back from Sejin gently pushed her towards a stand that was put up with a podium with a microphone on it, the backdrop a mix of big names like HYBE, Big Hit Entertainment, the Blue House, Korea Air and the Grammys. There Bang-PD pulled out one of the Grammys and handed it to her and for the first time, she could feel the proper weight of it.

The prop had been lighter, for obvious reasons, but this felt heavy with its full metal and she could see her name engraved on the plaque at the bottom - both in Korean and English. 

Then the questions started.

Was she happy to be back home? 100%.

What did she think of her performance?  She was very happy with it and happy it went to plan, there were no hiccups. 

Did she wish the boys had been with her? Of course.

What did she think of the Grammys now she had won it?

The question made her pause and out of the corner of her eye, she could see her boys lined up at the side but at the back so they weren’t in the crowd. They were all watching but waved the moment she looked over. 

“It’s a grand prize for a lot of hard work that myself, Bang-PD and PDogg have put into this. But I still think I’m undeserving of this when I know for a fact that Bangtan Sonyeondan is more deserving of it as a group rather than me as a solo artist. However, I’m proud and I’m proud that I’ve opened the door for others and that this brings honour to my family and to my country that I’ve called home since I was a child.”

It seemed the appropriate response as the crowd cheered and she stepped back, handing the award to Bang-PD so he could answer his questions. 

She kept her eyes on the boys though. 

One lot of people pleasing to get through with photos and then she could be out of here, back at HYBE with her people and onto the next thing. 

She was out in record time with a police escort driving her from the airport to the company building, the Grammy briefcase now with her rather than Bang-PD who had gone to see the President of Korea himself. 

“Noona!”

That’s all she needed to hear.

Her arms were trapped to her side as Jungkook rushed over, now in a t-shirt and shorts, wrapping his arms around her to hold her close. Jimin and Taehyung soon followed, Hobi followed straight after that with excited yells and finally, they were joined by Namjoon, Yoongi and Jin. 

“Thank god,” she sighed and leaned all her weight on her muscle bunny who happily accepted it. It felt good to be home, it felt good to be with her boys again. There was no need for more words even as the seven talked around her, mentioning the press conference. 

“Hang on,” Grace laughed as she pulled away. “Let me go and wash my face and wake up. That was a long flight and I don’t even know what time it is.”

They pulled away enough for her to grab the briefcase and hand it over to Namjoon, who blinked rapidly at her. “You can deal with that,” she said and headed off to the bathroom, with Seokjin following.

“This is going to look really weird if someone comes in,” Grace grinned as she watched him glance at the door as it closed behind him. She splashed cold water on her face and scrubbed at the make-up, splashing more water on her face.

Seokjin handed over a towel and leaned against the radiator, shrugging. “I’m sure the boys are betting on what we’re actually doing but I just wanted to say hello and I’m proud of you.”

The make up was off which made her skin felt a hundred times better and it felt like she could breathe for once as she used the towel to dry away the droplets. When it was all done, she walked over to her boyfriend and rested her head on his chest as he wrapped his arms around her, pressing a kiss to the top of her head.

“I wished you had been with me,” she sighed.

“I know but your parents had a blast from the sounds of it and the night was meant to be about you and you only. Not me, not the rest of the guys, though wait till you hear the stories from when they were at mine - you’ll laugh your socks off,” he laughed and gave her a good squeeze, taking hold of her hand. “I’m very proud of you though.”

“Our time will come,” Grace nodded and smiled at the forehead kiss. “All eight of us.”

Her boyfriend dragged her back to the room where the rest of the boys were looking at the Grammy award, Namjoon holding one and Jimin holding the other.

“It doesn’t look like much, does it?” Taehyung mentioned. “All the prep, stress and everything else for something so small.”

“So what’s going to happen when they introduce us now? Is it going to be BTS with two time Grammy awarded singer, Grace Chu?” Yoongi asked, grinning over at his sister who glared at him and then gave him a good push on the other shoulder.

“Shut up. It doesn’t change anything, not for me anyway,” Grace sat down and shrugged. “If anything it’s more work because they’ll expect another album from me.”

“I’m going to say this now,” Namjoon started as he placed the award on the table. “We’re all very proud of you and we were watching with big smiles on our faces, though the outfit and dance moves need to be talked about. But regardless, she’s BTS. If anything, she’s become more important than me because everyone will want to see her more than us.”

Namjoon got a disgruntled look from his female member and he grinned in return. “Sorry noona, it’s time for you to step up to the plate now. I’ve done my job.”

“What job? I trained you, don’t forget,” Grace pointed out then pointed at each boy in return, especially Seokjin. “Don’t start getting all lackadaisical now. ARMY is waiting for us and you’ve all got months to go before some of you are back.”

“Yeah we need SK1,” Jungkook pointed out.

“Exactly,” Grace agreed. 

“Anyway,” Hobi clapped his hands as he stood, distracting Seokjin from trying to strangle the youngest. “Let’s go and celebrate! Noona deserves to be wined and dined. And then sleepover?”

“Yeah Jin-hyung has plenty of space,” Jimin agreed as he helped lock up the Grammy award. 

“I do?” the man in question asked just as Jungkook said, “Yeah he does. We can all sleep on the couch.”

Big Hit would later upload two photos from the boys to Grace - one with all of them together at the dinner, the Grammy Awards in the centre of the table and the second photo from Jungkook, taking a selfie with all of them fast asleep in the background. 

The perfect welcome home for the two-time award winning singer, Grace Chu. 

[thisaintascenereviews]

U2’s How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb: 20 Years Later

My previous piece, which was about my newfound love for Irish band U2, was meant to be a precursor to this one — the 20th anniversary of 2004’s How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb. This record is interesting for a few reasons, namely that it’s their last extremely popular record. U2 is still a huge band, but this is the last album that got them a lot of accolades and attention akin to their early work. Not saying that their newer material is bad, as it’s not, but this is the last time the band was in the zeitgeist. Lead single “Vertigo” is a song I remember hearing in one of the first iPod commercials, but the album itself was nominated and won eight Grammy’s, so it was a big deal for the time. It was the fourth highest selling album of 2004, and for good reason.

This album also comes at the tail end of an interesting history for the band, some of which I went over in my last piece that talks about how I finally understand what this band is all about. At the time, the band was coming off the heels of the 1990s, where they decided to go into an alternative direction, due to the rise of alternative and electronic music, and due to a mixture of a case of self-indulgence from the band (they played a lot with mocking and satirizing rock’s tropes at the time, especially in the second half of the 90s), as well as mixed reactions from fans and critics, the band took a step back from the theatrics and went to a “back to basics” approach that a lot of bands opt for when experimentation isn’t quite working. 2000’s All That You Can’t Leave Behind is the first in that vein, and it’s my favorite of the two, but How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb came off the heels of their newly (re)found fame.

While I prefer the last album, 2000’s All That You Can’t Leave Behind, How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb is a good one, nonetheless. This record has a bit of a harder edge than the previous one, which is still quite catchy and soaring, but it still has the same qualities that All That You Can’t Leave Behind did. If anything, this album’s a good case of an album that sounds the same as the last one, but with a small tweak (this album has more energy, and not quite as many ballads or softer tracks), and your enjoyment will determine how much you enjoyed the last one. This album does have a lot going for it, though, especially lead single and opening track “Vertigo,” which I mentioned earlier, but a lot of the deep cuts are great, too. Songs like “Miracle Drug,” “Love And Peace Or Else,” “City Of Blinding Lights,” and a few others, are utterly wonderful. They’re catchy, slick, and larger than life, but a few songs that slow things down, such as “Yahweh,” or the rather poignant “Crumbs From Your Table” are great, too.

One thing that makes this record so good is that Bono himself sounds at the top of his game. Even if this record isn’t quite as good as the last one, but it’s close, Bono is still a powerhouse vocalist. Really getting into this band has meant that I can really appreciate his genius. I’ve always respected and loved Bono for his very giving persona, but I also enjoy his vocals and lyrics a lot more now, too. He has a way with words, even if he isn’t saying that much, but it’s what he says that is important. Bono has written some songs with incredible lyrics, especially in their classic 80s output, and with their 2000s output, he shows that he can still write poignant and insightful songs but with a catchy and accessible edge.

How To Dismantle An Atomic Bomb would still be a great starting point if you’re not familiar with U2, but you can’t go wrong with All That You Can’t Leave Behind, either. That would be my first choice, especially outside from their classic material, but this is a great first choice. I can’t believe this record turns 20 this year, but it’s a record that deserves to be celebrated. If you’re new to U2, or you want a good place to start, I’d recommend this one. I don’t know if I’d call it underrated, as it was majorly successful at the time, but I think its popularity has gone down with time, yet this record is still worth revisiting.

[twunny20fission]

My thoughts on Pitchfork's 150 best albums of the 1990s; #100-#91

Reminder: three completely subjective criteria. 1: do I like it, yes or no? (Basically, is this for me?) 2: Would I recommend it to anyone, yes or no? (is this for anyone else?) and 3: Is it better than STPs "Core"? (The lowest bar. Few things are better than "Purple," but Core should absolutely be in the top 150, so that's the bar.)

100: Jim O’Rourke: Eureka (1999). Inoffensively boring and strange at the same time. It's one of those things that seems very familiar, but almost completely alien as well.

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no

99: The Flaming Lips: The Soft Bulletin (1999). It's passable. Both in the "not a failure" sense and the "I'll pass on this" sense.

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no

98: Smashing Pumpkins: Siamese Dream (1993). There are parts of this album that hit me very hard. I was never a huge fan of Pumpkins in the 1990s, and learning what a tyrant Corgan is makes his legacy tricky. I feel like he jerked around a lot of people and hissed at anyone else that he felt was absorbing even a sliver of his limelight. The music is good. There's that.

Like it: yes. Recommend: yes. Better than "Core": yes?

97: A Tribe Called Quest: Midnight Marauders (1993). I am listening to more hip hop as a result of this 1990s rabbithole I'm exploring. Call me biased because of my 16+ years in NYC, but I'm an East Coast rap enjoyer. And Tribe is great East Coast rap. I'm a babe in the woods when it comes to hip hop. I know I have a lot to learn, and I want to listen to more. So I will. And where I'm at right now: Tribe is great.

Like it: yes. Recommend: yes. Better than "Core": yes

96: Primal Scream: Screamadelica (1991). The only song of theirs I knew, I didn't know I knew ("Loaded" is on the "World's End" soundtrack.) This album is fine. It never blew me away. It's good driving around music, so it does evoke the 1990's for me. But I never heard what I would call "greatness." And there is like...no screaming at all?

Like it: yes. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no

95: Ice Cube: Death Certificate (1991). I get why Ice Cube was important in his heyday. But listening with 2023 ears, this album is misogyny. I think that making songs about violence, drugs, profanity, excess, machismo, and systematic issues are vital to society and doubly so for the time and place this record emerged from. But the misogyny is so off-putting that I think this one is best left as an important influence, not something people should listen to for actual enjoyment in the modern era.

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": maybe

94: No Doubt: Tragic Kingdom (1995). It's hard to overstate how huge this album was. And hard for me to articulate why it is what it is. It is still full of great tracks. It's timeless, and energetic, and angry and funny and greater than the sum of its parts.

Like it: yes. Recommend: yes. Better than "Core": yes

93: Beck: Odelay (1996). It's so weird. Beck existed, and this album came out and I remember everyone saying "it's amazing! Groundbreaking! Album of the year! (though it lost to...let me see here...nominated against "Mellon Collie," "The Score," the "Waiting to Exhale Album," and it lost to Celine Dion?!?!?!?!?! Sweet merciful crap. I mean, I don't think Odelay should have necessarily won, but...come on.) Anyway. It's fun, it's weird, I like it. Probably like it more now than I did then.

Like it: yes. Recommend: yes. Better than "Core": yes

92: Autechre: Amber (1994). There were way more "lofibeatstostudyto" albums in the 90s than I realized. It's fine. Not mind-blowing.

Like it: yes. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no

91: Weezer: Weezer (Blue Album) (1994). I don't like Weezer. I have never liked Weezer. I can tap my foot when they're playing. I know I'm supposed to like them. I'm white, I'm a geek, I'm lame. They just...meh. They're not worth the anger I like to whip up for other, more-overrated bands.

Like it: no. Recommend: no. Better than "Core": no

[connorhunter]

Best Hip Hop Songs Ever

Hip Hop is one of the most famous classifications of music ever. Numerous hip bounce subgenres have arisen throughout the long term, however the music stays as great as could be expected. These are the 10 best Hip Hop tunes ever out of a plenty of choices:

1. “Lose Yourself” – Eminem This is a song by Eminem from the soundtrack of the 2002 motion picture 8 Mile. It was released at the end of October that same year. The track focuses on Eminem’s background – it brings out the theme of aggression in the hood. Through this soundtrack, B. Rabbit (the character Eminem plays) gets the respect of other rappers. Lose Yourself rated at the top on Billboard 100 for 12 weeks. To date, many still enjoy the song.

2. “Bodak Yellow” – Cardi B This is a hit song by Cardi B that we can’t seem to get over. It is a solo and was released on June 16th, 2017. This song made her fame grow immensely, as she was the first female rapper to top the Hot 100 in 20 years. Furthermore, it was awarded the Best Rap Album in 2019.

3. “Ms. Jackson” – Outcast The music video was released in 2000. It was awarded the Best Video of the Year in the B.E.T. Awards and MTV Europe Music Awards in 2001. As a result, it was nominated for the Grammy Awards. The track’s message is deeper than most people thought as it talks about relationships. We relate today’s relationships to the song since, sadly, most of them are messed up.

4. “Mind Playing Tricks On Me” – Geto Boys Mind Playing Tricks on Me is one of the rare gang songs to make the list. It depicts the difficulties of thug life, as they go through paranoia and fear of the unknown – an insane lifestyle. The song’s popularity gained its movement on the charts to land at No. 23 on the Billboard’s Hot 100. The song is in the 1991 album – We Cannot Be Stopped..

5. “Dear Mama” – 2Pac Dear Mama was released on February 21st, 1995. The hip hop song topped the Billboards as a Top Hot Rap Single. The message detailed in this song is about a struggling single mother. Despite the hip hop beats and rap, we can clearly tell the message in the song. Through the difficulties, though not easy, 2 Pac’s mom was able to raise a man.

6. “Lost Ones” – Lauryn Hill This track was released in August 1998 and is actually a diss song. It talks about how Lauryn and her bandmate became successful and then destroyed their relationship. The song received an award for the Best Rap Solo Performance in the 41st Grammy Awards.

7. “Fight The Power” – Public Enemy The American group released this song in 1989 as a single, with Motown records. The real meaning behind the song is equality for African Americans. It aimed at leading a new generation that had not been raised in the civil rights movement environment. In 2001 it was ranked as the 288th Song of the Century.

8. “Juicy” – Notorious B.I.G The track Juicy is from his album Ready to Die, released in 1994. It has quite the instrumental mix. Being such a hit song, it sends a great message. The melody tells of the contrast between two varying lives – one of abject poverty and another of plentiful riches.

9. “Me Myself And I” – De La Soul Me Myself and I has a powerful aura, making it a hit song. It focuses on promoting individualism and encourages people to believe in themselves. All you have to do is love yourself. It gives one confidence in themselves as it states that loving oneself is enough.

10. “California Love” – 2Pac And Dr. Dre This song is vibrant and gives us dancing vibes. The track is about California life – their day-to-day activities and creativeness. Tupac recorded this hip hop song after he was released from prison. The people of California wildly celebrated his release. California Love was top on the Billboards Top 100 for two weeks.

Give rise to your singing career registered and creating a profile on Hyper Harmony and wants to organize a concert so easily contact us through the website.

[nahasevents]

Hiatus kaiyote tour 2017

Nai Palm (Hiatus Kaiyote) at Woolly Mammoth Tune in today and catch Hiatus Kaiyote over the coming months. Through the ups and downs and the starts and stops of the process, Mood Valiant arrives as a symbol of the act of love, of courage, of altered perspective, of sister-and-brotherhood. Visit Hiatus Kaiyote’s Official Store for more information. The band were also recently announced as the headliners for Astral People’s 10th Birthday as part of 2021’s Vivid LIVE program and they will also play the rescheduled Bluesfest in Byron Bay come October. Taking the album on the road, Hiatus Kaiyote recently announced their Mood Valiant Australian tour, playing at some of the most beloved venues in Melbourne, Newcastle, Sydney, Canberra, Perth, Adelaide and Brisbane. Furthermore, they have received glowing coverage from the likes of NME, Pitchfork, The Fader, Rolling Stone, The Guardian and more. Beloved across the globe, the Melbourne-based act have received praise from worldwide industry heavyweights, including Annie Mac, Gilles Peterson and Benji B on BBC Radio 1 and 6 Music, as well as homegrown support from Double J, triple j and community radio stations nationwide. Also, it’s not everyday you get to ride a velociraptor in space.” Hiatus Kaiyote is Naomi “Nai Palm” Saalfield (guitar, vocals), Paul Bender (bass), Simon Mavin (keys), and Perrin Moss (drums). Can’t wait to share it and make more weird nerd art visuals for people to see. Jeremy was the ultimate legend, and all hands on deck were super loverly and creative. I’m usually pretty camera shy, but everything about this video was a joy to make. Nai Palm added about filming “Get Sun”, “I have never laughed more on set, ever. The band came to me with a huge idea that featured them attempting to get to the sun by various DIY methods, so we met up to chat over the concept and next minute we had a goddamn giant beast to create… I wanted it to look shitty and beautiful all in one, to be stoopid and breathtaking and to take you on a strange journey into the warped imagination of one of the dopest living bands.” Director Grey Ghost (Jeremy Koren) shares more about the concept behind the video: “The ‘Get Sun’ video is a wild and wonky space journey inspired by Red Dwarf, The Young Ones, Mighty Boosh & Le Voyage dans la Lune. The accompanying video takes an absurdist sci-fi trip, perfectly matching the single’s buoyant energy. Featuring Verocai, the track came together during a session in Australia’s Byron Bay, though Nai Palm had largely written the song before the band formed in 2011. Alongside the album release, Hiatus Kaiyote are also sharing the video for the album’s debut single, “Get Sun”. Behind everything is Hiatus’ familiar sense of musical adventure, their knack for making the complex sound simple, evident in previously-released singles “Get Sun”, “Red Room” and “Chivalry Is Not Dead”. The result is an album, bookended by Verocai’s strings, that relaxes into a groove: sunlit, beguiling, masterful. The follow up to their critically acclaimed 2015 album, Choose Your Weapon, Mood Valiant came together after six years during which the band spent time touring, writing and recording, culminating in a 2019 trip to Rio de Janeiro that led them to work with legendary Brazilian arranger Arthur Verocai. Today, the twice Grammy-nominated group Hiatus Kaiyote share their highly anticipated new album, Mood Valiant, out via Brainfeeder Records / Ninja Tune. Another giant leap for Hiatus Kaiyote.” – Guardian “Rousing.” – The FADER “…a blazing return that is packed with energy, fusing their jazz-leaning melodies with a potent sense of rhythm.” – Clash “Triumphant.”- Pitchfork “Mood Valiant…is an undeniable showcase of the band’s vast musical range and talent for arrangement.”- NPR Praise for HIATUS KAIYOTE “Mood Valiant is both spacious and ebullient…. HIATUS KAIYOTE // Photo Credit: Claudia Sangiorgi Dalimore

[ctrlsht]

Through the Stars | idol!jungkook one-shot au

→ pairing: idol!jungkook x idol!reader  → genre: idol au → warnings: reader is always nervous when jk is around → word count: 15.1k

summary:  Every fan’s dream is for their idol to notice them therefore you had a sole reason when you entered the music industry. For Jeongguk to hear your music.

Disclaimer: I do not have enough knowledge in the music industry so if I made a mistake, I’m vv sorry!

“Oh my god, y/n! You won’t believe the news I’ve got!” You stop scrolling through your phone to take a glance at Christine who just entered your room.

“What?” You bluntly asked. Your manager immediately walked towards you revealing her wide smile.

“You wouldn’t believe it!” She squeals in her excitement. “You’re nominated in BBMA for a top streaming song!” 

Your jaw suddenly dropped along with the phone you’re holding. You immediately stand up to hug Christine before jumping in excitement.

“Oh my god! Is that for real?!” You screamed.

“Of course! But here’s the twist!” She paused and held both of your upper arms. “Jeongguk is also nominated! Male artist of the year!”

And there’s where you lose it. 

Having an interaction with Jeongguk is your most favorite part of your career. In fact, it is the sole reason why you take this path. You’ve strived until you reach your goal. It may sound crazy, but your goal is for him to notice you. Not just as his fan but someone who shares the same talent as him.

Before you even get to know him, music is already your passion. You wrote thousands of songs and recorded tons of song covers but the only difference between the both of you is everything you’re passionate about is only for yourself. Whenever you compose a poem that turns into a song lyric, you do it under the tree. Whenever you make a song cover, you do it in the corner of your room. And whenever you play a guitar, you play it while sitting on your bed. 

You’re already satisfied even though the only person who hears and reads your music is yourself. But when you meet Jeongguk, you suddenly want the opposite for yourself. 

“There’s no guarantee that you will win the award since there are albums who have numerous streams. Regardless, we want you to attend the award show.” Mr. Kim Seokjin, the CEO of your company, discussed. You nod as you look at your manager hoping that she understands your eyes.

She clears her throat to get the attention on Mr. Kim. “Y/N is looking forward to attending the award show. Is she going by herself along with the team orrr… Is she going with… Others?” 

“She’s going with the team but who are you implying as ‘others?” Mr. Kim tilts his head.

“Perhaps… Jeon Jeongguk from bighit entertainment?” You suddenly want to pull the hair of your manager for telling an embarrassing answer. You looked down as you felt humiliated.

“No, he’s not going with y/n. I doubt if he’ll attend.” 

“Nonetheless, they are the only Korean artists who get to be nominated in BBMA and I hope they both win the nomination.” 

Mr. Kim hummed in agreement. “Hopefully. It will be an honor. Korea’s music will keep on sailing if there’s another artist to win the America’s award.”

Entering the music industry is the hardest thing you’ve ever done in your 25 years of life. When you decide to enter it, you’ve expected the worst, however, the worse you’ve thought is not even the worst. It’s more than that. You had to go through the eye of the needle before you even became a music artist. 

But you really want to achieve your goal. You want him to get to know you and your music. It may sound stupid, but you want him to know the story behind every song you’ve written and share your understanding in music. You want him to know you not just as his fan but someone he can explore the art of music. 

Jeongguk’s music is playing in the background while you’ve been having deep thoughts. You swing your swivel chair towards Christine who’s having her coffee on the sofa of the studio and before you even bump her, she kicks you away.

“What the hell?” You frown.

“Y/n, I know I’m more than your manager and as your friend, I’ll advise you to lessen your obsession with Jeongguk.” She sips her coffee after.

“I’m not obsessed! I’m just being a fan, unnie.” You answered as you rolled your eyes.

“You telling me that your reason why you wasted your time on becoming an artist is because of Jeongguk and that is the most ‘fan’ thing to do.” She said sarcastically.

You’re in the passenger seat while your mom drives you home when Jeongguk’s song plays on the radio. It was the first time you’ve heard his music. when you needed it the most. His calm and soft voice comforts your broken heart. It was the day your father died from lung cancer.

His music became your blanket that comforts you every night as you remember your deceased father. His music was your motivation to face another day. And his music is the reason why you became alive. 

His meet and greet is the most exciting part of being his fan. You’ve got to meet him personally and have a quick conversation. You’ve also had a chance to meet other people. That meet and greet event is where you’ve got the idea of becoming someone like him for you to reach him. It was only wishful thinking, and you don’t really have the plans to take it seriously until you do. 

You wanted him to hear your music, for him to see your talent and share the art you had. It was the craziest thing you’ve ever thought of but where does it get you right now? You’re nominated in Billboard music awards along with him. 

The room is filled with staff and stylists rushing in preparing with you. There are numerous hands that touch your face, hands that style your hair and hands that help you wear your outfit. 

“1 minute, Y/N!” The stage director shouted.

You’re about to perform the last part of your performance in a korean award show. You’ve heard the screams of the crowd that boost your confidence more. After preparing, you now went to the gates where it will lead you to the stage. You don’t forget to put on your biggest smile before facing the crowd. 

When you debuted as a solo artist, it was where the serious business started. You thought that your training days were the hardest part however, you’ve thought wrong. 

It takes you 2 years after your debut before you actually meet Jeongguk in the same place. You’ve imagined countless scenarios where you meet him. It was well organized in your head. But they say to expect the unexpected. 

“I have to use the bathroom.”

Christine stands up upon your statement.

“The commercial is about to end, y/n. Can’t you hold your piss until later?” You instantly shook your head. You’ve been drinking a lot of water to help you ease your anxiety and you’ve been in the music show for hours already. It wasn’t your first time attending a music show, but this is your first time to be nominated in a category. You felt anxious about the possible result because you wanted to have your first win. You’re already being in this industry for 2 years, yet you haven’t won even for once. 

“I’ll be quick.” You didn’t wait for Christine to allow you and you already proceeded on walking backstage. Leaving the crowd helps you to loosen up a bit. 

You immediately left the bathroom after you heard the voices of the host signaling that the commercial is over. You’ll be going up on the stage any time soon for the result of the votes. It makes your heartbeat increase rapidly. 

You were half running going back to your seat but before you got the chance to leave backstage, you didn’t notice the person in front of you. You bumped in his hard chest, and you immediately take a step backward.

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” You apologized as you picked up the three pieces of paper, he’s holding that’s now scattered on the floor. He also helped you and when you made eye contact with him, you dropped your jaw and you felt that your heart suddenly jumped out of your chest. You instantly stand up forgetting the papers you suppose to pick up.

He keeps saying that it’s okay as he continues to pick up the papers before he stands up. He looked at you as he smiled and there you were, standing in front of him looking so stupid. You were looking up because you’re so small compared to his height and his perfume slowly filled your noise. 

You haven’t seen him this close after 5 years. The last time you saw him is in his meet and greet where you got to face him to have a quick conversation as he signed your album. In those 5 years, you can identify how he physically changed. He’s a lot bigger and bolder now. You can also notice the muscles underneath those sleeves. He matured a lot, yet he still looked eternal.  

“Uh, y/n?” 

He knows my name. You thought. 

You’re now shaking, and you take a deep breath to calm yourself. 

“Y-you… Remember me?” You can’t help but to stutter. 

“Yeah, you’re y/n. From Bangtan Ent?” His voice sounded confused, and it hit you. 

Oh great. I’m now an artist. How can he remember me as his fan? Duh.

“O-oh… Yeah. I’m sorry for… bumping you. I was actually heading back.” You tried your best to speak properly but you can’t stop stuttering. You’re in fact blocked out. 

“It’s okay, I understand.” He smiles before he glances at the hallway. “You should go back. They might call you on stage anytime soon.” His voice is literally music to your ears as it also gives you butterflies. 

That day is the most memorable day for you, and you’ve memorized every moment that happened. You bumped into Jeongguk and you’ve also finally won first place at a music showcase. Although you regret your action in front of him by looking so stupid, you eventually recover and couldn’t care less. 

It’s exactly two weeks before the Billboard music awards happens and you’re at the comfort of your bed while scrolling on your twitter account to see what’s happening. 

“Mass voting at 10PM KST for Y/N! We have to widen the gap of the votes! We shouldn’t be chilling because it’s easy for the other artists to catch up!”

“ISTG, if Y/N win this category and mfck be celebrating with us without voting at least once, y'all should just return to your momma’s stomach.”

“Idek how many accounts I've created so I can vote multiple times for Y/N. This is her first western nomination, and I don’t want her to be disappointed.”

You can help but smile as you read those tweets. Except for Jeongguk, your fans are the reason why you keep going with your career. They are the reason why you survive despite all the hardship you’ve encountered. You’ve endured everything for them, and you will always have no regrets when it comes to them. You’ve never experienced receiving so much love from the people who don't know you personally so you will do everything for them. 

Before you entered this industry, you thought that people should listen to your music for Jeongguk to listen to you. However, as you've entered, you never imagined how much happiness you will feel when people start to love your music. Except for music and Jeongguk, your fans are your world.

You suddenly remember yourself 5 years ago when you could show your love for Jeongguk and his music freely and when you can show up in his events where people do not know who you are. You missed the feeling of being a regular fan of his. But since you’re no longer a regular citizen, your actions as his fan are also limited. The only people who know that you’re a Jeongguk fan are your family and your manager, Christine. Before you even debuted as a solo artist, Christine strictly reminds you that people shouldn’t know that you’re a big fan of Jeongguk as it will result in unwanted issues. 

Being a silent fan is harder than you thought, however, there are still advantages since you’re now in the industry that he’s in. You can admire him personally as you’ve seen him occasionally. It’s your favorite perks of being an artist and also his fan at the same time. 

You switch from your main account to your stan account on twitter. Of course, you also have a stan account for Jeongguk and you've been using it ever since you’ve started stanning him. Christine ordered you to get rid of your stan account, but you didn’t do it. If you ever got to choose between your main account as an artist and your stan account, you’d choose the latter without hesitation. Your stan account is the only way you can be yourself without any judgment. It’s your safe space.

“Why am I not surprised that JK owns the majority of the votes in his category that he’s nominated at?” You tweeted before you closed your phone. 

—

You grabbed Christine’s wrist and raised it before you faced her aggressively. Your wide eyes kind of freak Christine the hell out of her. 

“Why didn’t you tell me that we’re flying with Jeongguk?” You scream silently.

“I also have no idea! As if I owned the airline for me to know who the other passengers are!” She immediately removed her wrist from you as she rolled her eyes. 

You are breathing heavily as you bite your lower lips. You closed your eyes as you decided to secretly peek behind you where Jeongguk is seated. He’s reclining on his seat, eyes closed. He looks so peaceful and you in fact want to capture him at this moment, but you wouldn’t do that as it felt like you’re invading his privacy. 

You don’t even know how long you’re staring at him when he slowly opens his eyes as he catches you staring. You immediately looked away and held Christine’s shoulder before you screamed silently. 

“He caught me looking at him!” You buried your face in her shoulder as you felt so embarrassed. You remind yourself not to stare at him too much. God knows how many times he caught you staring. Whenever you’re at the same place, you’d stare at him and sometimes, you’re not aware that you’re staring so much until he caught you multiple times.

“Y/N, I’d literally throw you outside if you wouldn’t stop!”

You’re on your way in Las Vegas for the Billboard Music Awards that will happen in two days. You weren’t expecting that you’ll have the same flight as Jeongguk because Mr. Kim stated that you’re only going with the team, and he never mentioned that there are possibilities where you’ll be flying with Jeongguk. 

Oh, as if you’re flying in a private plane.

You figured out that you’ll be flying with him for more than 11hrs which means, you’re with him in those hours. That thought alone already drives you crazy. 3 hrs is the longest time that you’re at the same place with him and those hours are already too much to handle. You don’t know if you can survive this flight without combusting your heart and without being so stupid.

The whole flight was too quiet and the only thing you can hear is the engine of the plane and the voice of the pilot whenever they have to announce something. The business class seats are taken by people in your team and people you’re unfamiliar with, which you might guess they are with Jeongguk. 

Your dinner is served by the cabin crew. However, you haven’t eaten half of your meal because your mind is filled with the whole situation, you’re in. Your heart won’t stop beating rapidly and ever since you found out that Jeongguk is around, it drives you nuts. You’ve been having difficulty sitting still and you can’t stop looking around. 

Even Christine noticed how you behave which she found annoying. Hence, you try your best to loosen up. You distracted yourself by using your phone but unfortunately, Jeongguk won’t just leave you. As you open your social media, your mind suddenly blows as you see your newsfeed bombarded with photos of you walking inside the airport along with Jeongguk. Your eyes are moving quickly as you keep scrolling on your social media. You immediately check out the trends and you are flabbergasted as you read your name and Jeongguk’s name under the trend. 

You were about to explode but you remember that Jeongguk is behind you. As you check out the photos from your social media, you were actually relieved that you didn’t notice him since there is a large amount of security and staff around the both of you. If ever you saw him that time, you’re probably doomed as you might suddenly burst out. 

When you finally arrived in Las Vegas, you felt like you’re about to fall all of a sudden. You’ve realized that you haven’t had the chance to sleep or to even relax from the flight. You want to arrive at the hotel as soon as possible.

“What happened to you?” Christine asked as she noticed your appearance. 

“Tired.” You responded while walking towards the exit.

“Next time, I’ll try to find out if you have the same flight as Jeongguk so I can reschedule. You look like a mess. Seriously speaking.” 

As the limousine you’re riding arrives at the venue, your body starts to shake, and you are able to hear the loud sound of your heartbeat. Seeing the number of famous celebrities outside made you more anxious. It wasn’t your first time attending an award show, but this is different since you’re not in your country. This is America. Far from your hometown. You’re different from them. 

Then you remember that this is a music award show where there is no language barrier when it comes to music. 

You’ve passed the red carpet and interviews and so far, everything is smooth. It was only nervous at first but when you’re there already, you learned that it wasn’t bad after all. In fact, you hadn’t noticed that you’re already enjoying it.

Before you finally went to the main venue, you subconsciously looked around hoping to see the person you wanted to see but unfortunately, he’s not yet around. 

You already expect to have some fun this evening, but you didn’t imagine that it was this fun. You’re vibing in the music and every performance of a different artist is phenomenal. You’ve met a lot of famous musicians and artists and they were friendly as if you’ve known them ever since. 

Winning the “Top Streaming Song” of the year highlighted your night. You didn’t anticipate winning since it was your first nomination and there are a lot of great artists but here you are on stage, facing millions of people as you receive your award and deliver a speech. You can’t help but to shed a tear. 

Of course, this night won’t end not until Jeongguk wins. Even though you expected him to win the Male Artist of the year, it was still different when the announcer called his name. You instantly stand up and applaud. You were smiling from ear to ear as he delivered his speech, and you can’t hide how much you’re so proud of him. 

But when you saw your face in the giant LED screen after his speech, your jaw dropped. And to make it worse, you covered your mouth when you saw your horrible reaction on the screen. 

You suddenly want the floor to eat you alive.

After the show, you’re invited to the after party. You don’t really have the plans to join but then you found out that your idol is coming. As his fan, you’d love to also celebrate his victory even though you’re fully aware that you’re not close to anyone. As much as you want to drag Christine into the party, she’s not allowed. Maybe being lonely at a party won’t be that bad as long as Jeongguk is present. 

And if you were thinking that there is nothing more surprising than receiving an award, well you’ve thought wrong because right now, you can see that Jeongguk is walking towards you. And when he’s now finally in front of you, you were too stunned to speak. You weren’t prepared for this. You’re suddenly out of breath and you might faint any moment now. 

“Your reaction a while ago was hilarious.” He speaks as he smiles. You didn’t respond right away as you were fascinated by his present in front of you. 

You immediately recover when you realize that you’re making a fool out of yourself in front of him, again.

“I-it was embarrassing.” You mentally slap yourself for stuttering and you remind yourself to act normal. 

“Maybe for you, but I find it adorable.” He sips at his champagne, and you can absolutely confirm that you’re turning red. But thanks to the dim light, your tomato cheeks aren’t visible. 

You awkwardly smiled and you were trying to think of something to talk about but before you even came up with an idea, he spoke.

“Congratulations for winning the top streaming song.” He’s looking directly into your eyes as he smiles genuinely. 

“Thank you. Congratulations to you as well. You deserve it.” And finally, you learned how to smile properly without looking like an idiot.

“You also deserve it.” 

It was when you realized that this was your first time having a casual conversation with him. This is different from the quick conversation you had during his meet and greet 6 years ago and most definitely different from the unexpected interaction in a music show back then. 

You remember the sole reason why you entered this industry and now that you're in front of him, you should grab the opportunity to make him know who you really are.

“How are you feeling right now?” You asked. 

“I feel so grateful for everything. This is my second western nomination, but this is the first time I actually won and the first time I performed in a western award show.” He takes a deep breath before he smiles. 

Him talking about his thoughts and achievements made your heart warm. 

“You’ve captured a lot of hearts as they find comfort from your music. People are also grateful to have you in their lives, Jeongguk." You smile before you take a sip of your champagne. 

You watched the other artists as they enjoyed the night while having a drink conversing with each other. You were at the corner of the room away from the crowd and you prefer it this way. You don’t really know how to start a meaningful conversation with others. Besides, the only reason why you join this party is because of the person in front of you.

You didn’t notice that Jeongguk was gazing so when you looked at him, you were taken aback.

"You know what, you remind me of someone familiar." He tilted his head while smiling. "But I don’t actually remember that person, yet it felt like I sensed familiarity with you."

You don’t know how or what to respond. You’ve lost your words. Even though his words were vague, it touches your heart. You don’t want to assume things, but your heart says that he somehow remembers you. Not as the person who just won the top streaming song but as someone who's always present in his events 6 years ago.

“I really like ‘eternal’,” He says, referring to your song entitled ‘eternal’ that received an award as a top streaming song. “It’s beautiful.” He continues.

You bite the inside of your cheeks to prevent yourself from smiling so wide. Your heart is jumping in happiness because the song eternal is inspired from how you see him. 

When you were writing that song, you weren’t actually aware that he’s the person you’re describing, the person that fills your heart. Then as you wrote the bridge, you finally realized that the song is all about him. 

“I’m glad that you like it. Thank you.” 

Eternal came from you. You wanted to add. 

“But my favorite album of yours is ‘as the flower blooms.’ It made me realize that I’m more than who I am.” 

You were dazed by what he said. He never fails to surprise you.

“Are you going to believe that I wrote some of the songs in that album when I was in middle school?” You can’t help but to smile. 

He stood looking at you with his mouth agape.

“No way. I didn’t know about that.” You chuckled at his surprise reaction.

You started writing that album when you were 11 years old. It was the time when you found out that you were into composing a song. You were just filling up your diary and you ended up creating a tone out of it. 

‘As the Flower Bloom’ is composed of songs about you. How you see yourself when you were young and how you see yourself right now. You included the songs you’ve written when you were 11 years old to the album because you want to tell a story that every person has an ability to find happiness in their own way. 

“I’ve listened to every single song you had.” You admitted. “But my favorite is ‘seesaw’.” He shows a bashful smile before he looked down at his champagne.

“You listen to my song.” He said, fascinated by the fact that you listen to his song. 

“Of course, I do! Who wouldn’t.” 

“Seesaw is an old song. Why is it your favorite?” You wanted to say that it’s the first song you’ve listened to and the song that made you a fan but of course, you cannot say that.

“I know it's a love song, but I’ve interpreted it in another way. Just like a seesaw, our life can go from up to down. But it will eventually rise again.” 

The song ‘seesaw’ is all about two people in a relationship where it’s not all about happiness and butterflies. Relationships are more than that. You will eventually face a lot of problems and misunderstandings and that is also how life works. 

“I also love how you perform it. You looked so in love.” You added. It was actually true. Although he doesn't perform it anymore, you can still remember how he sang it with all his heart. 

You were about to say one more thing when you saw him staring in fascination. You looked away as you took a sip of your champagne. 

“Uh sorry.” You smile awkwardly. 

“Why are you apologizing?” He asked in his confusion.

“For saying a lot. Sorry.” You answered as you grimace.

“No, you don’t have to apologize.” 

You stood there with an awkward silence because you didn't know what to say and he was staring. You were starting to overthink as he might find you weird or what. But before you lose your mind, he spoke again.

“Thank you for looking beyond my song. It meant a lot to me.” He said as you had crimson cheeks. 

That night, you ended up sleeping with a smile on your face. It is so perfect that you can’t believe all of it happens in one night. You didn’t forget to live stream for you to show your appreciation to your fans as you love to celebrate your success with them. You almost tell them everything that happened but of course, you leave the part with your conversation with Jeongguk. 

You left LA after three days because you still have a lot of work to do. As for Jeongguk, he’s staying for a week because he got invited in multiple interviews and talk shows. Of course, you’d know his activities since you’re always on your stan account. 

You also got invited to a talk show and you’ve already shoot it yesterday and the other day therefore, your business here is done. 

As you landed back in Seoul, you’ve received multiple invites from a talk show as their guest. You were overwhelmed with the recognition and invites you had but Christine managed to organize everything. 

You were beyond happy and grateful for everything; however, you aren’t used to drastic changes in your schedule. Before you even went to LA, Christine had already prepared your upcoming events and schedule once you returned but because of all the invites, it had a major change of plans. 

You haven’t had a proper sleep and you’ve been exhausted. Christine felt guilty for not thinking that there’s a chance for you to have an overloaded schedule, but you cannot blame her because even you didn’t anticipate it. 

The last interview of the day ended, and you were at the backseat of your car leaning in the window as you looked outside. 

You’re about to go home and you haven’t eaten your dinner. It’s already past 11.

“What do you want to eat?” Christine asked beside you.

“Something that can fill up my stomach.” You answer as you look outside the window.

“Pork belly? Kimchi fried rice?” She suggested and you just agreed because you don’t have the energy to think. 

Before you went straight home, you stopped by at a restaurant for Christine to buy you a takeout. 

You were too busy eating your dinner while Christine is sitting at the sofa of your apartment. She’s also busy with reading her emails. She decided to stay for the night since it’s already late. 

You instantly looked at Christine when she suddenly gasped. You were waiting for her to speak but she’s too stunned to speak.

“What is it?” You asked even though your mouth is full because you’re too curious about what she just found out. 

“You wouldn’t believe this!” She said as she slowly looked at you.

“Whaaaat?” You already sound irritated since she doesn’t want to tell you right away. 

“Jung Hoseok from Good evening, Korea invited you to be his guest,” she started. “And guess what?”

“What?” 

“Jeongguk is invited along with you!” You suddenly choked from the food you’re eating as she dropped the bomb. You were out of breath, so you immediately drank a glass of water. 

“Oh my god!” The first thing you said. You stand up as you teleport beside her to read what’s in her email. 

Your heartbeat increased rapidly as you read the email that Christine received. Jeongguk already confirmed that he’s going, and they are just waiting for your response. You were suddenly filled with enthusiasm and can’t help but to jump as you feel the excitement all over you.

The talk show will happen next week and you're sure that you won't be having a proper sleep. Although you haven't had a proper sleep ever since you arrived, you'd properly won't stop thinking about the things that can happen during the show.

It's been two weeks since the BBMA happened and since the last time you saw Jeongguk. You haven't recovered from it and now, you'll have to see him again. You will be on the same screen as the two of you talking about the things that happened during the event. This is your first ever interview with him!

And then suddenly, it hit you. They will actually interview you along with Jeongguk yet you find it hard to act normal in front of him alone but then, millions of people will watch you interact with him.

The enthusiasm you have immediately disappeared. You're doomed.

—

You're on your way to the studio and you're having trouble behaving yourself. You've been shaking and drinking your bottled water and you occasionally curse. 

"What if I fucked up?" You spoke.

"You'll be fine." Christine answered bluntly. 

"Maybe I should just back out? I'll just say that I had a serious injury? Or something came up for the people not to worry?"

You were saying a lot of things and it felt like your brain was literally damaged. You can't control yourself and you were seriously thinking of backing out.

"For fuck's sake, y/n! Can you please calm the fuck down?!" You are suddenly stunned as your manager lash out. 

"Or maybe, it's better for you to back out. We've been talking about this every day, yet you don't even consider calming down!" She then glared at you. She's seriously mad right now.

"I know you're a huge fan of Jeongguk and it's natural to be excited and anxious at the same time but also think about the career you have! You're also an artist just like him! Try to be professional for once!"

Silence filled the car after she bawled. You suddenly fear Christine and it shut you out. 

Her sudden madness made you stop with your nervousness. You started to calm down as you are afraid of Christine to blow up once again.

You were quiet the whole ride and when you arrived, your heart started to throb once again. 

Gather yourself, y/n!

You haven't seen Jeongguk since you arrived, which is a good idea, you believe. The team didn't waste any time as they started to prepare you for the show. You were reviewing the possible question that they can ask you so you gather the answer that you can say. 

You were on your phone when Jung Hoseok, the host of the show, entered the dressing room.

"You look so lovely, y/n!" He starts. You immediately stand up from your seat to bow and shake his hand. You were smiling from ear to ear as you greeted him but then you got taken aback when you saw the person behind him.

"Hello y/n!" Jeongguk greets with a smile on his face as he bows his head. You then caught the glaring eyes of your manager which terrifies you, so you immediately bowed.

"I-it's good to see you." You stuttered. 

The space of your dressing room is in fact large enough for several people to fit in. You weren’t aware that Hoseok will brief you in here as you weren't prepared. 

While Hoseok is briefing you and Jeongguk for what's going to happen in the show, you were trying to avoid glancing at Jeongguk and keeping your composure. You can see in your peripheral vision that Christine is staring at you. You were more than terrified at Christine rather than anxious in front of Jeongguk and Hoseok. You don't want to mess around.

After the briefing, Hoseok tells you to proceed on the stage but before you walk out of the room, Christine calls you.

"I apologize for lashing out a while ago. I just want you to gather yourself." She then held both of your hands. "You can do it. You can slay this interview. Forget the y/n who's so head over heels with Jeongguk for the meantime. You’re only y/n at this moment. The y/n who just received a trophy in a Billboard music awards." She caressed both of your cheeks before she hugged you.

You're steps ahead of your main goal, for Jeongguk to get to know you and your music. You've worked so hard for it to finally happen, and you don't want to mess up. You've entered this industry with a goal but as you keep going, there's more important things you have to deal with. And delivering yourself properly in front of a million viewers as you conduct an interview with him is one of the things you must handle. 

"What exactly do you feel that the two of you are the only korean artists who got nominated in Billboard Music Awards? The whole Korea is celebrating your success!" The crowd applauded what Hoseok said.  You also applaud along with them. Jeongguk looked at you signaling that you can answer first.

"I'm beyond happy. I still can't believe it. I know it's been a week since it happened, but it hasn't been processed yet. I'm so grateful to my fans as they were the reason for my success.” You looked at the audiences with a smile on your face and they clapped once again. 

“I also feel grateful for winning the nomination for the first time. I got nominated last year but unfortunately, I didn’t win. I don’t actually expect to be nominated for the second time and I definitely didn’t expect to win. To all the people who believe in me, thank you so much.” Jeongguk answered. He put his palms together and he slightly bowed.

“What can you say that y/n is also nominated? And she also won the award! Did you guys see each other at the event?” You were surprised at the following questions of Hoseok. Jeongguk gave you a glance and you suddenly felt the tightness of your heart. He smiled slightly before he spoke. 

“I’m so proud of her.” He started while he’s looking at you. “In fact, I wasn’t surprised when she got nominated because her music is something else. They can take you anywhere and you can experience a lot of emotion by just listening to it.” He didn’t look away as he grins. “And yes, we talked about a lot of good stuff during the after party.” 

You were astonished by what he said, and you immediately pressed down your lips to prevent yourself from smiling. However, you cannot control the sudden heat you feel on your face. Hopefully, they didn’t notice it.

“Wow, that was deep.” Hoseok commented as he looked preoccupied by what Jeongguk said.

The interview lasted for about an hour, and you tried your best to focus until the end since Jeongguk’s compliments clouded your mind. 

The episode for today will be aired next week and you seriously want to check the video to see how it turned out. You tried your best to act naturally in front of the camera, but you were not sure if it turned out that way. 

Can you review the whole video? Can you request to cut clips where it’s obvious that you’re literally smitten by Jeongguk? You were overthinking again. 

“Y/N.” You were startled when Jeongguk called you. You’re still on the side of the stage contemplating whether you can actually review the interview. It’s probably a dumb idea. 

“Jeongguk.” You tried your best not to look so tense.

“You did a great job there.” He complimented. 

“You also did. I appreciate what you said about my music.” You gave a genuine smile. Jeongguk was about to say something when Christine appeared at your side. She grinned at Jeongguk before she shot you a concerned look. 

“We have a problem.” 

“What is it?”

She looked at Jeongguk before she spoke. 

“I’m sorry to interrupt your conversation but I need to talk to her.” She then pulled you in the corner.

“What happened?” You can’t help but to worry. 

“The battery of the car died!” She then massages her temple. 

“The one we have right now?”

“Yes! It won’t start! I just found it out when I was about to get something in the car. The driver forgot to turn off the taillight and the battery broke.”

“Where’s the driver?” You suddenly asked.

“I sent him home. I was planning to drive you home since it’s too late already.” She already sounds so frustrated. “I tried to call the company but there’s no driver on duty.” She added. 

You take a deep breath as you look at the time. It’s freaking past midnight. Who can you call at this hour? 

“I’ll go get change. We’ll figure it out.” 

While you are changing your clothes and thinking of someone you can call, Christine is also trying to contact someone. Your mom is probably asleep, and you are not sure if the only friend you have is available. 

Even though you’re not sure if your mom is still awake, you tried to call her but as expected, she didn’t answer the call. You tried to call your friend Miya and after a few rings, she answered. 

“Miya!” You called her.

“Y/n! What’s up?” 

“Can you fetch me right now cause the battery of the car I'm using just died.” You bit your nails.

“Oh my god, y/n! Where the hell are you?! I’m in Jeju and I won’t be home till next week!” You sighed in disappointment as you took a seat. 

You’ve told Miya about the situation you’re in and she cannot do anything since she’s away. Although she suggested calling an uber which you immediately suggested to Christine.

“You’re not allowed to call an uber! Are you nuts?!” She outbursts. 

“We don’t have a choice! Besides, it’s midnight—

“Oh y/n, you’ve been in this industry for 6 years! You should already know how the paparazzi works! Besides, uber is not safe for you!” She walked back and forth as she held her phone. 

You were about to say something when someone suddenly knocked on the open door. Jeongguk is standing outside as he looks worried. You immediately looked away because you were not yet used to his presence. You cannot admire him in this situation because Christine will kill you.

“I thought you already went home, but I heard you guys.” He spoke. “You seem to have a problem.” He continued. 

“The car’s battery died." Christine bluntly responds as she’s busy trying to find help on her phone. 

“What happened?” He asked as he walked in. 

“Christine sent home the driver, but he forgot to turn off the taillight, which is the cause of a dead battery.” You explained.

“Oh no. The car won’t start unless you replace the battery.” 

You sigh not knowing what to do. You scroll on your phone to see if there is someone who you can call but unfortunately, the company staff are the majority of your contacts. 

“I can give you a ride if you’re okay with that.” You instantly turned your head to his offer. “I’m on my way home. I can drop you off.” 

Before it even sinks into you, Christine immediately came to him. 

“Oh, thank god! Would it be okay with you? Wouldn’t you mind?” You immediately pulled Christine’s arm and you glared at her, but she didn’t mind you as she removed your hands in her arm.

“I don’t mind. If you really have no one to call, I can give you a lift.” 

“Oh my god, thank you so much! We owe you one! We already called several people, but no one was available!” Christine rubbed both of her hands and she bowed multiple times. While you’re there, who wants to suddenly disappear because of embarrassment. 

You were trembling while you're walking towards the parking lot. You still can't believe that Jeongguk offered you a ride home! You will be riding his car and he's going to find out where you live! You seriously wanted to faint. You swear that you won't survive this ride!

When Christine said that she's taking the backseat, you already know that you must take the passenger's seat. You wouldn’t want Jeongguk to look like a driver if you're going to sit in the back as well. 

Before you even have the chance to open the car door, Jeongguk already did it for you and you were actually praying for your life because he's inches away from you. When you see him smile, you immediately enter the car before you even combust.

"Shit, unnie! I'm seriously going to die right now!" You said in panic after Jeongguk closed your door.

"I can see that, but you seriously need to hold it if you still want to live!"

You take a deep breath before he enters the car. You saw him looking at you, so you glanced at him. He's smiling. 

"Are you okay? You look so tense." You wanted to kill yourself when he asked you that. 

"She's probably tired. Don’t worry." Christine immediately answers for you.

"Yeah." You said, almost whispering before he drove away.

"Well, it's past midnight. Have you already taken your dinner?" 

"We did." You answer right away because you know that Christine will probably say no. You really haven't taken your dinner, but you don't want him to think that you want to stop over to grab food. Giving you a ride is already enough. 

You didn't think that his house is in the opposite direction from yours. You feel bad that he has to drive you home when it's far away from where he lives. Even though he assured you that he didn't mind, you were still embarrassed. 

The whole ride feels like you're holding your breath. You want to stay comfortable, but you just can't. It's Jeongguk who's beside you. You want to turn off the air conditioner of the car because it only makes you tremble more. The music is playing which is better to lessen the awkwardness. Christine attempts to build a conversation and the two of them are the only one conversing. Jeongguk always tries to join you in the conversation however, you only end up answering a word or two. Which is actually fucked up. Christine even messages you that you have to collect yourself and she even reminds you that this is a onetime opportunity.

You tried your best to pour everything you've got just to have a proper conversation with him. You were listening properly so you can also answer properly.

It's so stupid that this is what you wanted to happen yet you're wasting your time. You’ve realized that it's harder than you thought because it's hard for you to control yourself and your emotions. You probably look so pathetic. 

"Yoongi was supposed to be in bangtan ent. But then bighit called him first so he ended up there." He's talking about the producer Min Yoongi in his company because you've mentioned that he's one of your favourite music producers who's not working under the same company as you.

"Oh, that's too unfortunate. We can be a great team." You said as you grinned.

"Too bad, we're already the best team." He joked.

You already forgot the presence of your manager in the back because she's not speaking anymore and when you look back, she's already sleeping her ass off. You won't blame her since she has so much stress.

After a 20-minute ride, you've already arrived at your home. You even had a hard time waking up Christine. You were astonished once again when Jeongguk got out of his car to open your door. Christine already left the car first and entered your house leaving you alone with him.

"Thank you for the ride, gguk. We really owe you one." You said as you stepped out of the car. 

"You're very much welcome." He responded as he put on a smile. "You kinda remind me of my fans when you call me 'gguk'." 

You were taken aback by what he said. You were getting comfortable, and you totally forgot that the majority of his fans call him, gguk or ggukie. Even you, yourself call him that except when you’re in front of him. You should be extra careful when you're with him because he doesn't even know that the person in front of him is a huge fan of his. You're doomed when he finds out.

"Oh yeah. Sorry, I kinda used hearing people calling you that." You responded, embarrassed. 

"You don't have to apologize." He said as he grins. "I don't mind you calling me gguk or whatever you're comfortable with."

You've lost your thought as you stare at him. You can't stop admiring his beauty. With his doe eyes that you will probably drown yourself if you stare at them, his soft, thin lips, rosy cheeks and delicate skin. How can this perfect man exist?

"Okay then, gguk." He chuckled at your smirk.

"I uh... have to go." He pointed out his car with his thumb and you remember that he’s still going home. 

"Oh, yeah. It's too late already. Thank you so much, once again." You said as he got in his car. 

"You're welcome once again, y/n. Goodnight." 

 "Goodnight." You finally said before he closed his door and drove away. You watched him drive until his car disappeared and you immediately ran inside your house.

You saw Christine lying down on your couch and you jumped at her. 

"Oh my fucking god!" You were constantly shaking Christine as you screamed after a second, she threw a pillow straight to your face.

"Shut the fuck up and let me sleep for once."

You ordered food for yourself and for Christine but she didn’t want to wake up so you just let her be. Just like you, she’s been exhausted and stressed for weeks. If there is an opportunity to sleep, you must grab it. You were supposed to sleep right now from an exhausting day yet you’re on your phone, scrolling through your stan account while you recall everything that happens today. You’re on the urge to tweet everything but of course, you can’t just do that.

You were biting your pizza when a notification popped up on your phone. Your eyes instantly turn wide, and you suddenly drop your phone. When you picked it up, you immediately covered your mouth in shock. 

Jeongguk followed you on instagram.

You visited his account to make sure that you weren’t hallucinating but it’s real. He actually followed you. 

You haven't recovered, yet you receive another message notification in your instagram coming from him. 

“Hello, y/n. I’m sorry to bother you at this hour but there’s a purse I saw on the ground of my car, and I believe that it’s yours.” 

He also sends a picture, but you haven’t opened the message, so it wasn’t visible in your notification center. 

You don’t know how long you’ve been standing while you stare at your phone. Your hands are still over your mouth and the whole thing hasn’t sunk in. 

“Holy shit!” You immediately throw your phone on the couch of your living room as you walk back and forth.

Christine suddenly wakes up and she looks so irritated. She stands up and glares at you.

“I should’ve stayed in your guest room if I only knew how loud you can be at this hour.” She rolled her eyes before she walked out to enter in a room. 

You didn’t have the chance to apologize because you were still in a state of shock.

After a few moments, you decide to open his message and there, you see a picture of your purse where you put your cords, powerbank and airpods.

You try to recall how your purse ended up in the ground. You didn’t use them during the whole ride. You didn’t even open your bag. 

And then realization came. You don’t usually zip your bag and maybe when you get out of his car, it fell. 

You’ve left him on read for a couple of minutes now and you don’t know how to respond. Should you go and get it from him? How are you going to get it from him? You don’t know!

You don’t really need that purse for now because you’ve got extra cords and airpods here at your home. You can also buy a new one if you’d like. 

Are you just going to say that he can get rid of it? 

Freaking no! Even though it was okay to get rid of it, you have to get it from him. 

You never know when you will be able to see him again. And now, there’s another opportunity to meet him again. 

Even though your schedule is packed, and you can just send someone to get it for you, you still want to personally claim it from him. 

“Hi! It must’ve fallen. Sorry! I don’t actually need it right now. Is it okay if you keep it for the meantime? I’ll get it one of these days.” 

It took you forever to finally send it. You bite your nails as you wait for his reply. 

When he finally reads it, you start to panic again. It only took him a few seconds before he sent a response. 

“It’s okay! :) Yes, I can keep it for the meantime.” he said. 

You were about to say, ‘thank you’, when he sent another message. 

“You’re not sleeping yet? It’s almost 3 o’clock XD”

He’s starting a conversation! You can’t get rid of your smile as you type. You’re being extra careful as you compose a message to avoid doing something stupid. 

“I’m about to. Haha how ‘bout you? Why are you still up?” 

You’re actually having your mental block and you’ve been overthinking if your answers were okay. Then you realized that you should respond naturally.

“I’m actually on my bed rn. But I remember your purse so before I totally forget about it, I message you already haha” 

You were thinking if you’re going to ask further questions, but you ended up saying your goodnight since you figured that he’s about to sleep. 

You’ve been reading the messages you share with him over and over again and you can’t help but to scream from time to time. You’re now convinced that you went insane.

Before your transfer to your bedroom, you checked his profile for the last time. There’s a ‘follow back’ button that indicates you don’t follow him. When you create your official instagram account, the company says that the only accounts you can follow are the same artists in the organization. You’ve been following their rules until now, but you decided to disobey them for once as you hit the ‘follow back’ button. 

Adding 1 account on your following won’t hurt, right? Especially when it’s Jeon Jeongguk.

—

“Your popularity has increased a lot since the BBMA, y/n. 34% in specific.” Mr. Kim Seokjin discussed as he looked at the chart presented in front of the conference room. 

“Yes, Sir. In fact, that 34% was only from BBMA but after the episode from ‘Good Morning, Korea’ aired, she’s been trending for 5 consecutive days. She was with Jeongguk in that episode, Sir.” You looked at Christine as she’s discussing everything with Mr. Kim Seokjin. He nodded before he spoke.

“I was wondering if it’s a good decision if you collaborate with him on your next album. Have you ever considered that, y/n?” You were startled when he called you. You were looking around thinking of a proper answer to say. 

“Yes.” The only thing you can say.

“Of course, I also consider both of your genres and if your voices are matched with one another and I personally think that it’s a good idea.” 

As they just said, your name is the talk on social media. More people start to stream your music and you’ve received a lot of partnerships ever since BBMA happened. Apart from that, the interview with Jeongguk is a trending topic on social media. You’d lie if you say that you didn’t receive hate comments because of the interview but the majority of the feedback from netizens are good. 

The truth is, you’ve been anxious about everything that’s happening. Ever since the episode aired, you try your best to stay away from social media especially from twitter. Honestly, if this isn’t Jeongguk, you wouldn’t be this anxious from the whole situation. In fact, you’d address everything in a positive way. However, Jeongguk is involved. 

From the first time, you were involved with Jeongguk and people talked about your music. You’ve hit two birds with one stone. Your dream is about to come true. But there is one thing you’d love to do. The thing that will complete your dream as his fan and as a music artist. 

To have a collaboration with him. 

Of course, you’ve dreamed about that, but you weren’t expecting it to happen any time soon. You were actually satisfied with having a conversation with him about your music. About how you love his music and how you were actually inspired with his music. 

But then the CEO himself already suggested it so who are you to refuse? 

After the meeting, you stayed at the conference room to discuss your further schedule with Christine. You’re glad when you found out that your schedule for the following week won’t involve interviews or reality shows because to be honest, it drains you. 

In the middle of your discussion with Christine alone, you suddenly received a message notification from instagram and you weren’t planning to check it out until you saw Jeongguk’s name. You immediately picked up your phone from the table to read his message. 

“Hey! I’m actually around your company building. I can drop off your purse if you want :) are you perhaps in the company?” 

“For fuck's sake, drop your phone and listen to me!” You got startled as Christine called you out. You immediately let go of your phone to look at her and you apologized. 

She continues her discussion and you lowkey peek at your phone to compose a reply for him. 

“Yes, I’m in the company. You can stop by :)”

As you hit the send button, you again put down your phone to listen to Christine. Smile lingers in your face but as Christine raises her eyebrow, you immediately press your lips. 

The last time you saw him was 1 week ago when he drove you home. That’s also the last conversation you had on instagram and there’s nothing more so you were surprised when he suddenly messaged you right now. 

As the discussion ends, Jeongguk sends a message that he’s in the lobby and you immediately call the front desk to let him enter. You were looking at the mirror for the last time while waiting for his arrival. You instructed the front desk to accompany him up until the conference room where you’re at the moment. You were pretending to read the files in front of you to look like you’re busy and as he entered, you closed the files and stood up before you gave him a smile. You didn’t let Christine know that Jeongguk is coming and obviously, she looked like she saw a famous celebrity. Well, she in fact saw a famous celebrity. 

“Hi.” Jeongguk greeted you while wearing a smile. You looked down at your purse he’s holding. 

“Hello…” You tried not to smile widely but you know you failed.

“I didn’t know you’re busy. I’m so—

“No, I was just checking something. Sorry.” You immediately cut him off. He looked around as he walked towards you. “Uh, do you want anything? Juice, coffee?” You offered. You glance at Christine who’s still stunned to speak, and you just awkwardly smile at her.

“I’d like some juice, if you don’t mind.” 

“Of course, I don’t. You take your time going here.” You looked at Christine hoping she’d get what you wanted, and she rolled her eyes before she went out. 

“It’s actually my first time going in here,” he said as he looked around. “It’s fascinating.”

“I’m sure your company is much more fascinating.” You chuckled. 

You have a feeling that it’ll be awkward at any moment, so you try to think of anything to talk about. 

“Please sit.” You offered him to sit in front of you and he did. “What are you doing around here, by the way?” You tried to hit a conversation. 

“I was shooting a reality show nearby, so I was thinking that maybe you’re also around.” He then reached out the purse to you. “I didn’t take it out of the car.” 

You take the purse from him as you put it inside your bag. 

“Thank you for stopping by. Don’t you have another schedule for today?” You asked. 

The double door opened, and two assistants entered as they were holding a glass of juice and pastries. They all put it in front of you as they immediately leave the room. 

“It was actually my last schedule of the day. How ‘bout you? You must be busy.” You immediately shook your head.

“No. My meeting just ended. That’s also my last schedule of the day.” 

He picked up his glass of orange juice as he took a sip. You were staring and you found him mesmerizing. You even want to wipe away the small amount of juice in the side of his lips.

You’ve seen him multiple times this month, but you were still astonished by his beauty. He doesn’t look intimidating however, he can shake your whole system by just sitting in front of him. You cannot be used to his presence and that’s for sure. 

“Uh, y/n, I would like to thank your fans for the positive feedback I’ve received during the ‘good morning, Korea’ show.” You don’t know that you’re already staring at him this long. You were just back in your thoughts when he spoke. 

“Oh, no! I should be the one thanking you and your fans. I received so much recognition because of them. And of course, because of you.”

Even though there is negative feedback, the majority of the people are fond in your interview with Jeongguk because people got to see the stories behind both of your music. 

You heard an unexpected knock and both of you looked at the door. You were about the get up to open it but before it even happens, the door opens, and you saw Mr. Kim Seokjin as he enters. 

“I heard that Jeongguk is around. You didn’t tell me, y/n.” He started. Jeongguk stand up as he bowed and as well as Mr. Seokjin. 

“Oh, I just stopped by to give y/n her purse.” Jeongguk answered. “It’s an honor to meet you, Sir.” He added as he shakes Mr. Seokjin’s hand. 

“It’s also a pleasure to meet you, Jeongguk.” 

Mr. Seokjin sits next to you as he and Jeongguk continue to greet each other. When they got to sit comfortably, Mr. Seokjin created a conversation with Jeongguk and you were just looking at them as they talked. You actually want to leave the room already, but you don’t know how, and you don’t want to be rude. 

“Y/n was also having a hard time shooting in a reality show especially when she’s still a rookie but eventually, she learned.” 

They were talking about the reality show where Jeongguk is invited and also how you had a hard time with it back then. You didn’t even bother to didn't intervene in the conversation.

When they are already talking about music, Mr. Seokjin mentioned to Jeongguk the thing that he asked you a while ago which you immediately looked at him. 

“Actually, y/n is planning to have a collaboration on her next album, and she wanted to have a collaboration with you.” Mr. Seokjin looked at you as he spoke. 

Your eyes widen with his statement, and you know that Jeongguk is also looking at you. 

“y/n?” Mr. Seokjin calls you out to speak but there are no words coming out from your mouth as you feel embarrassed. 

You were really planning to invite Jeongguk for a collaboration, but you didn’t expect for Mr. Seokjin to do it for you. And especially not on random days like this. 

“U-uhm…” You slowly looked at Jeongguk. “Y-yes, I am planning to have a collaboration in my next album.” You started. You’re playing with your fingers to avoid stuttering and nervousness. “And I was thinking of inviting you… for s collaboration.” You looked down as you finished your sentence. 

There’s a long pause before he finally responds. 

“Of course.” You immediately looked at him and you saw him smile. “I would love to.” 

You never did any collaboration in your 5 years in the industry. Mr. Seokjin hasn't asked you to collaborate with anyone yet, not until now. You don’t have any experience in collaborating with someone, but you know it’s exciting. 

The only person you ever want to collaborate with is Jeongguk and no one else. Of course, there are other artists you might want to work with however you haven’t really thought of it. 

And now Jeongguk just agreed to collaborate with you. A thing you never know will happen so soon. You then go back to your main goal when you entered the music industry. You just wanted your music to be heard by Jeongguk. For Jeongguk to see deep through your music because he was the reason why you choose this path. The reason why you choose to be a music artist.  You wanted to be heard. 

You never felt so confident, motivated and happiest because he agreed to collaborate with you. Jeon Jeongguk. One of the most famous and biggest male artists in Korea agreed to collaborate with you. 

“Did you seriously buy a cake in celebration of your soon to have a collab with your idol?” Christine looked so done with you as you sliced the cake you bought. 

You’re at your apartment with Christine and you called her to let her celebrate with you. You also bought food for the two of you and of course, a chocolate cake. 

“Cake is something we buy for celebrating. We’re celebrating now!” You replied. 

“I know. But I didn’t know you’re this extra.” 

As soon as you saw Christine that day, you were jumping so hard. You even hold both of her hands as you jump. Of course, you let Jeongguk leave the building before you jump in excitement, but Christine is still clueless about what is happening because all you did was scream and jump. 

It’s been days since Jeongguk agreed to collaborate with you and you weren’t over it. You even message him on instagram to apologize because Mr. Seokjin suddenly mentioned it out of the blue. Jeongguk is fine with it. You were enthusiastic for days and you didn’t stress out during your work which is something your team finds unusual. As much as you wanted to tell why, you just can’t. 

Months have passed and you are now working on your next album. You work on the company as you conceptualize your next album. For you, this is the most difficult part when starting a new album because you cannot just compose music and drop it. You have to conceptualize the whole album before working on the music itself.

Christine formally sent an invite to Jeongguk for a music collaboration, and he acknowledged it immediately. You were nervous about everything since this is your first time working with an idol– not only an idol, but your idol and you don’t want to fuck it up. You’ve been ready to write music with him for the rest of your life but when you’re in that moment, it feels like you do not have some knowledge regarding this field. 

“I was actually planning to write a never-ending love for my fans, but I still want for people to relate in that song.” You explained. “A-and I also want to dedicate this song to your fans.” You’re at your studio with Jeongguk as you work with your collaboration. It's your first day working with him and you were trying your best to stay focused especially when he’s next to you.

He didn’t move his eyes away from you as he looked at you with adoration. You were looking at the pieces of paper in front of you and you weren’t aware of his stare. When you looked at him, you were taken aback by his stare. He smiled genuinely before he spoke.

“I love that.”

Working with Jeongguk for a new song was something you didn’t expect. You expect to experience mental block and you definitely expect to be nervous while working with him. However, the things you expect didn’t come through. 

As you share your writings with him, he loves it. You don’t know if he really likes it but every time you let him review your works, the only thing that’s going out of his mouth is full of compliments. Sometimes, he adds something, but he loves your overall work which you cannot actually believe. 

You also learned to be comfortable around him. You learned to stay calm whenever he’s near and honestly, he doesn’t even make you feel uncomfortable in general. You enjoy telling stories and you can also punch a joke. The trust is, what he shows in front of the camera and his fans are what he really is in reality. Nothing even changed. 

“That faint voice of yours that grazed me

Please call my name one more time

I’m standing still under the frozen light, but

I will walk towards you, step by step

Still with you”

As you opened your eyes after you sang, you saw him staring at you. He’s there sitting in front of you, and he didn’t bother breaking his eye contact. He looked like he’s lost in his thoughts, so you called his name. 

“What do you think?” You asked, a hopeful smile lingers in your face.

“I-it’s perfect.” 

“Are you sure? You looked like you wanted to say something.” You chuckled.

“No, you’re amazing, y/n. You’re always amazing.” Genuine smile flashed on his face as your cheeks turned crimson. You immediately looked away before he saw your reaction. 

“I think we’re ready to record this.” He said and you immediately shook your head. 

“Wait! My notes aren’t perfect yet. I need a little more practice, honestly.” You proceed to read the lyrics in the paper you’re holding. You’ve been practicing with him for a week, and you feel like you haven’t mastered the song while Jeongguk did it perfectly during practice. 

“Y/n, do you know how amazing of an artist you are?” You were taken aback by what he just said. “Ever since I’ve heard your music for the first time, I know in myself that you’ll eventually shine with the talent you have.” Jeongguk stood up from his seat and you were just staring at him. He came to you and took the paper you’re holding. “You can record this song on the spot, and I know that it will be a hit. That’s how amazing you are.” Heat suddenly fills your body, and you start to sweat in your forehead for how near Jeongguk is in front of you while holding the paper. 

Being complimented by your idol is a big thing for you. From the moment you first had a proper conversation in the BBMA after party until now, he never stopped praising you. Every praise that comes out of his mouth makes your heart combust. And even though you’ve received multiple compliments from him, you still have the same reaction. 

Despite Jeongguk saying that you don’t have to practice, he still let you take your time. When the recording day comes, you are sweating buckets and you try your best to calm down. Before the recording starts, you were surprised when Jeongguk suddenly caressed your right hand. 

“You can do this. We can do this.” He smiled.

When the recording ended successfully, you immediately felt relief. You never felt so happy finishing a recording before. You just finish recording a song with the person you admire the most. 

“You did a great job, y/n.” Jeongguk compliments as he smiles at you. 

“You also did. Thank you for accepting this collaboration.” 

“It’s my pleasure to be working with you.” 

You weren’t planning on celebrating the success of the recording. At Least not with Jeongguk because you only celebrate things that are related to him with Christine. And yet he invited you for dinner along with the team. You felt bad because you were the one who was supposed to invite him but he’s the one who did it. 

It would be perfect if you had a chance to eat outside the company but unfortunately, it’s too late already and dine-in are close so the only option is to have a delivery. 

You expect it to be a quick dinner since it is late already, but Christine also ordered a can of beer. You thought that Jeongguk won’t drink but surprisingly, he did. They also encouraged you to drink since you don’t have a tight schedule. 

You’re not a person who likes to drink but tonight, beer tastes so good. You thought that instead of buying cake in celebration of something, it’ll be much better to buy a can of beer to celebrate things. 

Everyone was having so much fun and you were so focused on listening to their funny stories that you didn’t notice you were starting to get drunk. You don’t really remember the last time you drank, and you also don’t remember the last time you got drunk. It felt like you were experiencing it for the first time. 

“Y/n, are you okay?” Christine asked beside you and you nod before smiling at her.

But honestly, you started to feel dizzy. The funny thing is, you suddenly felt so confident about everything. 

“How about you, y/n? Who's the singer you looked up to when you were a kid?” You looked at Jay, one of the music producers of the company as he asked you. They were talking about music, and you didn’t notice that because you suddenly lost your thoughts. 

You think of the singer you listened to when you were young. There are a lot, honestly. 

“Adele and Mariah Carey. I love their songs and performances.” You answered while looking at the can of beer you’re holding. You then looked at Jeongguk sitting in front of you with a slight smile on his face. 

“But do you know who I really looked up to?” You chug the can of beer before you speak again. “Jeon Jeongguk.”

Everyone suddenly looked at you and you startled when Christine pinched your side. When you look at her, she’s glaring at you. You’ve heard comments like ‘wow’ ‘ohh’ and such which tempts you to tell more. 

“Do y’all want to know a secret?” Your voice becomes louder, and everyone is cheering at you while Christine is trying to stop you. “That I am the biggest fan of Jeon Jeongguk.” You pointed at the person in front of you. As they scream and cheer, Christine is fuming mad beside you, but you don’t care. Your eyes seem to look sleepy but you’re alive and enthusiastic. 

“When did you start to become a fan?” Sungdeuk, the company choreographer asked. 

“Seven years ago? He’s only in the music industry for a year at that time.” Sungdeuk shakes you because of his excitement. “Do y’all believe that I’ve been into his meet and greet events multiple times?!” As everyone’s shouting, you looked at Jeongguk in front of you. “I’m a full-time fan of yours before I became a full-time music artist.” You chuckled and Christine immediately pulled you out of your seat. 

“Ouch!” You pulled your arm from Christine. 

“Don’t be a killjoy! Let her enjoy, Christine!” Yohan, one of the music producers said. 

“Yeah, let her enjoy. She isn’t so drunk.” Jay added. 

“What?! Are you going to wait for her until she gets wasted?! Y’all stupid.” She shouts before she walks out with you. 

You left the room minutes ago, but You didn’t leave Jeongguk’s mind even though the night was over. 

Jeongguk is in the comfort of his bed as he recalls the things you’ve said a while ago and until now, he didn’t know if what you said earlier were true or not. But one thing for sure, he remembers you. Not the person he knows right now but the person he used to see before. 

Jeongguk sense familiarity to you when you met him in BBMA. He felt like he had already met you before. Yes, he knows you and he has seen you numerous times but during the BBMA is the only time he had a chance to build a conversation with you. It turns out, he’s wrong. It wasn’t the first time he had a conversation with you. 

He suddenly got up and went to his working desk and he immediately opened his laptop. As he opened his laptop, he immediately went to an old folder. He wasn’t sure if it was still there but fortunately, he found the folder he’s looking up. 

‘1st year anniversary meets and greet’

He instantly clicked the file and tons of pictures were gathered in the folder. It was a picture of him celebrating his first-year anniversary with his fans and as he was browsing the photos for a while now, he hadn't seen the person who he wanted to see. 

Maybe I was wrong. He thought. 

But when he saw a certain image, he was stunned. 

It was a stolen shot of you talking to him and when he clicked the next photo, it was a photo of the both of you smiling in the camera. 

He’s been in front of his laptop as he browses more of the folders of his events from the same year. Fansigns, comeback stage, birthday, he saw you. 

But when he checked the folders of the following year, you weren’t there anymore. He figured that you’re on your training that time. 

“You’ve captured a lot of hearts as they find comfort from your music.”

He remembers you saying that to him during a fansign and you repeat the exact same words during BBMA. 

—

“Unnie, what am I going to do! Oh my god I want to die!” You were at your bed crumbling in your comforter as you buried your face in the pillow. 

“I was stopping you for god’s sake, but you don’t want to stop! If I only knew that’s how you’ll act, I won’t let you drink.”

“If you didn’t order tons of beer, it won’t turn out that way.” You cried. 

“So, you’re blaming me now?!” You immediately shake your head when she raises her voice. 

“I’m so doomed.” 

“Don’t worry. They only think you’re joking around since you’re drunk.” Christine gets up from the couch and walks towards the bedside table to give you the glass of water. “Drink your water to stay hydrated.” 

“I have to apologize to him or guilt’s going to eat me up alive.” You said as you take the glass and drink from it. 

“Embarrassment already eats you alive, darling.” 

When you heard your phone chimes on the top of your bedside table, you lazily reached it. But when you see who’s on your notification, your eyes immediately go wide. 

You got a message from Jeongguk. 

“Hey. How are you feeling? Hope you didn’t get a hangover haha” 

“Oh my god.” You dropped your phone to the bed as you covered your whole face in embarrassment. 

“You’re right. Embarrassment already eats me alive.” 

Instead of being productive today, you stayed at your bed sulking in your situation. You exchanged a couple of conversations with Jeongguk and you already apologized for your actions last night. You were supposed to be happy because you’re now texting with him, yet you can’t help but to feel so embarrassed. The secret you’ve been hiding for years is now revealed and the worst thing is, you revealed it in front of him. Although you kinda guess that he doesn’t believe in your shits, there’s a probability that he’ll find you weird. 

The following weeks, you’ve been working in preparation of your comeback album. You’ve already recorded the new song that’ll be included in the album and you’re now working in the music video. The title track in this album is entitled ‘under the blue sky’. You were looking forward to this music video because it was your second favorite song you’ve composed for this album. Of course, the first one will be the song you’ve collaborated with Jeongguk. 

“And, cut! Okay, let’s have a break before we proceed to the next scene.” The director said. 

Your assistant immediately came to you to give you your bottled water and napkin to wipe your sweats. You were taken aback while you were walking when you saw Jeongguk standing beside Christine. He’s wearing casual clothes while holding a paper bag while showing his perfect smile. You are suddenly stunned from where you are and can’t help but to stare. He’s standing tall and he looks so dreamy. 

“Hello, y/n.” He greeted and even though he walked towards you, you were still preoccupied with his beauty. “I had nothing to do so I’ve thought of visiting you here today.” He handed you the paper bag he’s holding. You slowly take it and you glance inside of it. It's food. 

Whispers and murmurs suddenly fill the place, and you know for sure that people are concluding something.

“T-thank you.” You stuttered. “You shouldn’t bother.” Your voice is soft and it’s almost a whisper, but he heard it. 

“It’s okay. Besides, I insist. Wanted to check up on you.” He smiled and made your knees melt. 

Having Jeongguk in the shoot is something you didn’t expect. You were extremely surprised when he visited you and to be honest, it affects your performance. You were tense the whole time he’s watching, and you wanted the grounds to eat you when the director called out your performance. You were delighted when Jeongguk visited you here but watching you do the shoot is different. 90% of the time that you’re with him, you’re always nervous and what more that he’s watching you? You weren’t prepared for this. 

Before you shoot your next scene, Jeongguk informs you that he had to leave. You had a quick conversation before he finally left. You suddenly feel bad because you didn’t have the chance to talk more, and he even went here to visit you. But you’re at work and you can’t control your time right now. 

For months, you’ve been so busy in preparation of your comeback album. It was exhausting yet fun. For months, the longest time you can sleep is 4 hours and you have to wake up early in the morning the next day. That’s who your routine happens to and honestly, this is your routine every comeback, so you weren’t surprised. As your comeback approaches, you start to feel anxious, yet you look forward to it. 

This is the first time you’ll have someone in your album. Someone who works on a song with you. Someone you enjoyed composing and recording music with and someone who’s been special since day one. The thing that makes this album special is the fact that Jeongguk is in it. You were beyond grateful that you worked with the biggest male artist and the person who inspires you to choose this industry. You’ve been so grateful because Jeongguk made you do things you never know that’s possible. You were so grateful for Jeongguk and yet, you haven’t had a chance to say it to him. 

A day before the release of your album, you were thinking of inviting Jeongguk for a dinner, but you were hesitant as he might be busy, or he simply declined. You wanted to show your genuine appreciation for him, however, you don’t really know how and the only thing you can think of is to invite him for something. 

But you ended up messaging him. You decided to set aside the irrelevant things that’s running in your mind, and you just want to let your artist self to show your appreciation. Your dreams did come true, and it was indeed because of him. 

You’ve been expecting two things when you invited him. It’s either he’ll decline, or he’ll accept but you never thought that he’ll say yes and he’s expecting it to happen now. 

“I am actually near your apartment. I can come by if you want.” 

You panicked at his message because you weren’t planning it to happen now and most definitely not in your chaotic apartment! You were walking back and forth, and you massage your temple as you think of what you’re going to reply. You expect him to at least tell you when he’s available so you both can adjust. 

But he mentioned that he’s available right now.

Damn it. 

“I was planning it for another day actually haha but if you want it now, I don’t mind :)” 

You covered your face as you sent your response. 

“Oh no I thought it was for today. I’m sorry haha” 

You were staring at his response as your mind went blank. You have no idea what you’re going to say. Should you still invite him? 

“But you can come over if you want.” 

The next thing you know, you’re now cleaning your apartment as fast as possible. Your apartment is really messy because you didn’t get the chance to clean up since you’ve been so busy and now, you’re panicking that you forgot to order food. You were about to reach for your phone to order some food when you heard the bell ring. 

Holy shit. 

When the bell rang for the second time, you immediately went to open the door and there you see Jeongguk standing in front of you while holding a two paper bag. 

“You’re so fast! I haven’t ordered anything yet!” He chuckled at what you said.

“You don’t have to. I already got takeouts.” He responded as he raised the paper bags he’s holding. 

You suddenly felt conscious as he entered your apartment. He left his shoes beside the door and he’s looking around to check your home. You want to say something, but you don’t know what to say and your consciousness is killing you. 

“I invite you so I should be the one buying food for us.” You said when he put down the paperbag on the table. 

“You said, you haven’t ordered.” He smirked. 

“Yes, but I can do it—

“This is enough for us, y/n. Unless you invite other people?” You immediately shook your head. “Then it’s enough.” He smiles at you. 

He takes out the food inside the paper bag. They were different dishes. It has chicken, pork and soup. You walk towards him as you take away the container he’s holding. 

“I can do this.” You spoke. “I’m sorry for inviting you at this hour. I even forgot to order food.” 

“Y/n, it’s okay! I don’t mind.” You were stunned when he held your shoulder as he looked at you. You were suddenly out of air, so you instantly walked backward. 

Having Jeon Jeongguk in your apartment is on a different level. He got to see part of you. What’s inside your apartment, things you displayed and see where you rest most of your time. It was an impulsive move to invite him in here, but you somehow enjoy his presence in your home. 

Your dinner with him is wonderful. You do expect it to be uncomfortable, but it turns out so well. You had a wonderful conversation with him, and you were glad that he somehow shared things with you. Even though it’s personal. You had talked about music, a thing you love the most and you do take this opportunity to share what music is meant for you. You’ve been wanting to let him know this ever since. It was actually your goal. For you to share the same interests. 

“It really hits you differently when you do the things you love. Even though you got tired, you still want to do it over and over again.” You take a sip of your wine as you speak. “That’s why I’m really thankful that I got to know you.” You smile genuinely. 

Jeongguk can’t take his eyes off you as you were speaking. He was staring a lot yet you weren’t aware. There is something in you that he really likes but he can’t identify what it is. Maybe your personality, your beliefs and dedication or your beauty. You somehow can’t leave his mind and the longer he stares, the deeper he thinks he’ll fall. 

“Were you really a fan of mine?” He asks softly. He already knows the answer, but he wanted it to come from you. 

You were taken aback from his question, and you take a moment to pause. You looked away thinking of an answer. Should you just tell the truth? Should you just be honest? 

You looked at him and you smiled awkwardly. “W-why did you ask?” 

“When we were drinking with the team. You said you’re a big fan.” He smiles playfully and your whole face turns red. 

“Honestly, yeah. I’m a big fan.” You tell the truth. 

“Since when?” 

“When I first heard you singing seesaw on the radio in our car.” You end up telling him how you became a fan of his. You were extremely embarrassed by admitting to him, but he won’t stop smiling as you speak. 

You’ve told him your story of idolizing him. You’ve told him the ups and downs, you’ve told him the things you’ve experienced, you’ve told him how he inspires you; you’ve told him how his music heals you and you’ve told him that he was the person who influenced you on being someone you are right now. You don’t know how you got the courage to tell everything, but you speak as the person who adores him the most. You really wanted to make him feel how he makes you feel. You wanted to let him know that I am just one of the people who became his biggest inspiration. 

You were crying. You can’t believe that you are crying by just expressing how you feel. You were crying because you got the chance to express yourself towards him in your own home. You were crying because he’s in front of you listening to the things you said. You were crying because your dream came true. Jeon Jeongguk finally listens to you. He finally knows your music. He finally knows who you are. Not just as a music artist, but someone who loves him the most. 

[erodasfishtacos]

The Brits Dilemma

” Prompt: Harry & Y/N go to the Brits. It’s the first time they’ve been away from their baby. Y/N is struggling but doesn’t want to ruin the night for her husband.

Word Count: 1.8 k +

Warnings: Depictions of breastfeeding

+++++++

The award show was going well. It was the first time Y/N had been out in nearly three months besides a few brunch dates and grocery shopping.

Usually, she was pretty confident in what she wore to accompany her husband to all of these flashy events - but not tonight.

Her bump had deflated but she was still attempting to get rid of the stubborn pouch that stayed after the baby had been born. It wasn’t anything out of the norm - just still trying to lose it.

She was breastfeeding and her breasts were much larger than before. They felt heavy and too big for her body. Not to mention, they were constantly swollen and achey. Pads were a must so she doesn’t leak through the tight satin black dress.

The dress was a beautiful custom design by Gucci that complimented Harry’s sharp suit but nothing felt right. It was digging into her sides and made it hard for her to sit on her chair.

The Brits were held in the O2 Arena which wasn’t very far from their London home but she felt like she was lightyears away from her baby. Even though she knew Sasha was in good hands with Anne.

Y/N was so proud of Harry for being up for five - yes, five different awards. It was a record for him and she didn’t want to let him down by complaining. It was his night. He’s been such a devote father - he deserved a break too.

So she swallowed down the anxiety she was feeling about being away from their little newborn for the night along with her worries about her changing body.

There was milling about between the tables before the show got started. Harry had people coming up him constantly - congratulating him on the album, the nominations, the baby.

Married life and fatherhood suited him well. A dazzling wedding band on his left ring finger, a necklace with an S for his daughter, along with her name freshly inked on right above his butterfly tattoo.

The open jacket he wore with is his barely buttoned dress shirt displayed it proudly. It was beautiful, done delicately in a timeless cursive. The font match his wife name that was tattooed on his hand.

He couldn’t lie and say he wasn’t excited to have a night out with his wife. He had Jeff booked a hotel for the night to have some alone time with you while his mum got to enjoy a night with her only grandchild.

Y/N was counting down the hours up until tomorrow when she could go home to see her baby. She should really tell Harry that she wants to go home and not out to a club and the hotel.

But the it just slowly starts to deteriorate further when a bald, plump business exec comes to greet the two of you. He gives his warm wishes about the birth of your child before smiling at Y/N and stating, “The baby weight will come off soon enough.”

Her throat closes up a bit and she self-consciously tries to push her chair closer to the table. It was the last thing that she needed to hear. Confirming all of her worst insecurities.

Harry glares at the man before turning to his wife, “Hey, you look s’perfect, my love. I’m so bloody lucky you’re mine.”

He’s truly trying his hardest to bring a smile to her face but he notices it’s never quite meeting her eyes. 

It get even worse when Harry gets his first award, male solo artist of the year. 

As she’s standing and clapping for him - she realizes she’s beginning to leak through her nipple inserts.

Y/N excuses herself in the middle of his acceptance speech to rush through the string of tables - out into the corridor. The last thing she wanted to do was for it to show up on a very expensive dress.

The echo of his voice can still be heard, “Love to thank my beautiful wife who makes writing sappy love songs easy and was the main inspiration for my recent album. She also just gave birth to our beautiful baby.....”

She feels awful when she tunes him out, finding the bathroom and hurriedly rushing in. There’s a gorgeous woman standing at the sink, washing their hands. 

Fucking Taylor Swift.

Any other time it’d be awkward and uncomfortable - running into an ex who wrote multiple songs about her husband.

But she couldn’t careless right now, “Hi, erm, this is really weird but could you unzip my dress? I’m leaking and - shit that was way too much information.”

But Taylor smiles kindly, “No! It’s okay, totally. No worries. Congratulations on your baby - you look so hot tonight.”

Y/N laughs and thanks her for unzipping the dress before going into a stall and locking the door. She slides her bra straps off her shoulders and disposes of the soaked pad in the sanitary bin.

Luckily, she has a clean burp rag that she gently swipes at her breast - wincing as it brushes against her swollen nipples. Even the soft fabric felt too rough on them.

It’s a minute or two before the bathroom door swings open, “Y/N? Lovie? Are you in ‘ere?”

She feels guilt at the panic in his voice. Managing to croak out, “I’m in here,” before leaning forward to unlock the door.

Harry waste no time in sliding into the stall before latching the lock again. Taking in the sight of his wife in front of him.

“I-I started leaking, M’sorry,” Y/N whispers, she has no reason to feel embarrassed but she is. “I missed your speech.”

“None of that, baby. I’ll give more speeches for you to hear - I only care that you’re okay. I’m sorry y’leakin, lemme help you, pet.”

In true Harry fashion, he takes the rag and turns on the sink - running it under warm water before carefully cleaning his wife up.

“Are they botherin’ you? They look irritated and super swollen, darling,” Harry frowns, a very gentle thumb coming to brush against her nipple. Then cupping her swollen breast in his hand, thumb rubbing at the pink skin.

“Just a little bit,” She lies, they’re absolutely on fire with chafing and skin irritation from the bra she’s wearing. She never thought she’d miss her nursing bras and sports bras this much.

He nods and helps place new inserts in her bra. Who’d think this is what Harry would be doing between accepting awards. Everyone unassuming in the arena.

**

Harry has been four for four thus far into the ceremony. They’d only had him go up and give two acceptance speeches. His hand firmly planted on his wife’s thigh throughout. 

When he went up for his second award, the camera zooms in and the crowd coos are he plants a kiss on his wife’s lips before pulling her into a hug - whispering something into her ear the audience can’t hear.

He was much more focused on his wife. He could read her fairly well - he’d like to think. Enough to know she’s having much fun. But he didn’t want to bring it up and make her feel bad.

Harry sees the way she keeps adjusting her bra, fidgets with his rings when his hands in his lap, and not even really looking up while one of her favorite artist - Dua Lipa -performs.

Y/N loved a good party before the baby. So Harry was hoping going to the Brits afterparty would make her feel better and then going back to their hotel room for a some alone time.

**

Y/N has been increasingly quiet when they’re exiting the arena after the final award artist of the year - which Harry had also won.

He was on cloud nine and admittedly a little distracted as he joked and laughed with a small group of friends on the way out. 

“Alright, should we all just pile into a cab for the ride to the party?” Nick Grimshaw asks everyone.

Everyone is in agreement - including Harry -as he calls to order one - standing in the blocked off area away from fans and paparazzi.

Y/N wants to tell him she wants to go home to Sasha but when she hears him say, “Can’t wait to get to Exhibit - haven’t been there in forever. One of my favorite clubs.”

She bites her tongue. Harry is enjoying his night out - why can’t she?

In the taxi, she’s sat on Harry’s lap as they make their way to the club. His one hand is on her inner thigh and the other is on her waist holding her steady.

In the morning, she’ll blame her post-partum hormones and anxiety. But she doesn’t even realizing her eyes are filling with tears and when she blinks they spill down her face.

She wouldn’t feel as embarrassed if she wasn’t in the car full of literal celebrities who are filled with adrenaline and excitement. Chattering and drinking from little liquor bottles they’d snuck in their jackets and clutches.

“Y/N, are you alright?” Rita Ora asks from her seat - noticing the streaks ruining your makeup.

She nods pathetically, wiping at her eyes but Harry is turning her to face him. His bright green eyes filled with concern as he studies her face.

The previously very obnoxiously loud cab becomes silent as they try to give the couple a semblance of non-existent privacy.

“What’s happening, dove? Are you hurting?” Harry panics, coming to wipe the smeared makeup away.

“I don’t want to go to the club,” Y/N sniffles, squeezing her eyes shut at how embarrassed she is of her behavior. She would usually never act this way - especially in public. And Harry knows that so it makes him even more concerned.

“That’s okay, pet. We can go have a night in, when the cab stops - we can uber back to the hotel,” Harry soothes, surprised when that brings on fresh tears.

“N-no, I want to go home. I miss the baby, I want to- need to see our baby. I-I can’t do this. My anxiety is through the roof, Harry. What if she can’t sleep? Or isn’t taking the bottle?”

“Baby, breathe, breathe. We can go home. I miss the bub terribly too. Have been worried about her all night.”

Harry tugs his wife into his chest further - tucking her head into his neck as he shoots his friends grateful looks. They all nod, sympathetic and understanding - despite them not having kids of their own.

**

“I ruined your night,” Y/N says softly in the back of the uber home. “I leaked during the show; cried in front of all your friends.”

Harry takes her chin gentle but firm until she meets his gaze, “You didn’t ruin anything f’me. All I care about is you and the baby - not some stupid award ceremony or party.”

He continues on, “You just gave us Sasha three months ago - y’bloody amazing. Best mum, best wife. Sexiest too - know you don’t think that right now but your body literally grew my baby. I get a hard-on everytime I see you.”

They both laugh, Y/N leaning forward to capture her husbands lips in a meaningful kiss of gratitude and thanks.

**

Anne smiles kindly when the two of them arrive home. A very fussy, red-faced swaddled baby coddled in her arms. 

“She hasn’t settled for quite a while now - she missed her parents very much,” Harry’s mum tells them, transferring her into her father’s arms. He’s automatically rocking and running his thumb over her cheek.

“Ooh, we missed you. Was Nana nice to you?” Harry coos. Sasha has already quieted and is blinking tearfully up at her smiling father.

“Such a good girl, best girl,” Y/N sighs, leaning in to kiss her downy hair. Harry’s hand coming to wrap around his wife’s waist as they peer down at their perfect little daughter.

Anne smiles at his son and daughter-in-law fawning over their little creation with so much love and adoration.

After a minute of chatting -Harry’s mum makes her way up to the guest room after a long night with a miserable baby. They make their way to their room where Y/N strips out of her tight dress and awful bra. 

She sits against the headboard in just a pair of soft cotton panties. Harry is gently shushing her and humming a melody as his wife gets situated. He knew she was anxious to feed the baby.

“That’s it my sweet thing. Y’missed us, hm? We missed you too, bub. Nana said y’wouldn’t take the bottle. Only want your mumma, hmm?” Harry coos, kissing her chubby cheeks.

He’s then giving Y/N the baby, who ferociously latching within seconds and begins eating like she’d been starved for the last week. Making weak little rumbles as she does so.

They both giggle fondly, Y/Ns fingers come to touch her fluttering cheek - memorizing her over and over again.

Harry gets onto the bed and settles next to the both of them. Watching his baby feed in amazement at what his wife was capable of. He smears a few kisses against her bare shoulder - hand on his baby’s back.

How strong she was - as he knew it had to be at least a little bit painful with how irritated her nipples had been. He can tell when she winces every once in a while.

He plants a few more kisses to her warm skin - noticing her eyes getting a bit droopy as Sasha feeds at a slow, suckling pace.

“If I’m being honest, being with you - watching you feed our baby...I’d rather be here than at any club.” 

Y/N snorts, rolling her eyes, “Sure.”

Her husband frowns, “M’serious, this is all I need, baby.”

“I love you, congratulation on all your Brits,” Y/N murmurs, pecking at his lips.

“I love you too. I meant it, during my speeches. I wouldn’t have been able to write those songs if you hadn’t inspired me. You’ll and the bab will always be the best muse.”