#i wanted it to look a little like. idk how to describe it. a little like a foggy memory

[friendly-emerald-emily]

molly is such a fascinating character to me. and surprisingly, not because of her content in the show. but her lack of content. molly really felt like to me she was supposed to be the break-out star of the HiT era. let me explain why.

in short, it's all down to marketing and merchandise. i'm a massive HiT era apologist, mostly because it's the era of ttte i grew up with, but as i was looking through my catalogue of merch, i noticed something...molly was popping up. a lot. weirdly so.

i have a good amount of those briarpatch ttte board games, and typically they were for 4 players, and as such 4 engines were provided to play as: thomas, percy, james, and...molly? at first it seems weird, but when you think about it, it makes sense. molly rounds out a quartet themed around red, green, blue, and yellow, and also adds in a female character. i think that last bit is important, but i'll get to it later.

so i went digging, and the 4 player briarpatch games pre-molly usually had mavis in her place, likely also to add female representation, just swapping yellow for black. there are a few exceptions, i recall seeing toby and harvey instead, but again, it was mostly mavis.

looking at more merchandise outside of board games in this era, molly got quite a bit of focus. she was part of a set of 4 bath squirters along with thomas, percy, and james, and what i find most shocking, she was one of VERY few engines to receive a trackmaster remote control engine. molly also was featured on a 2008 great discovery trading card, even though she only had one line in the entire movie.

after this, i went digging deeper into the world of the thomas microsites and online games, where molly also had a strong presence. the quartet of thomas, percy, james, and molly continued in the simon-says type memory game (i think it's called 'peep peep!'?) and molly also appeared in the emotions game, but this game featured 5 engines, and the fifth...was emily. remember my point theorizing that molly was focused on because she was a girl? here's where it's important.

this five engine ensemble of thomas, percy, james, molly, and emily is repeated again in the plug n' play game 'right on time', a game that i own and remember fondly. emily was chosen again to fill the fifth slot, and i think it's because HiT wanted to have a gender-equal ensemble a la bwba. and i think molly was chosen specifically not only because her yellow paint is unique and for her gender, but because she is probably the girl character at the time that had the most opposing personality to emily. as we all know during this time, emily was interesting and had flaws unlike SOME OTHER ERAS- portrayed as having a very strong and opinionated personality, which would easily contrast towards molly's more shy and sensitive personality. both have also been described as having sisterly attitudes towards other engines. i think HiT wanted to prove in this 5 engine ensemble that they had varied writing for their female characters.

for all of this, i think that molly WAS supposed to be a much more important character than she turned out to be, mostly because she was marketed so heavily and disproportionately than her screen time would lead you to believe. molly also appeared more often than the other HiT newbies (bar rosie), but that isn't really saying much with how little other characters like neville or billy appeared. i don't know why molly was dropped so suddenly when the set up for her seemed to be there? only thing i can think of is that emily had just been moved to tidmouth sheds right before series 9, and that they didn't want to repeat that process?? idk i'm just spitballing because i've been thinking about molly a lot recently. on a small related note, her basis is also very specific and her design is SUCH a standout compared to other new characters at this time, so clearly effort was put into her. i wonder how different the series would have been if molly was elevated to prominent secondary character status like salty or mavis, or even main character status!

tl;dr i think molly was originally going to be important but then she wasn't :(

[bloopitynoot]

Reading SVSSS: Chapter 15

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

It's chapter 15! Time to figure out what happened to SQQ in the latest cliff hangar.

Today no tea- but I did have a blackberry cider that was very tasty.

I also did impulse buy a baby's-first-fountain pen to get into my little writing flow and add to the ambiance of my note taking journey. So, pls ignore the worse-than-usual writing; I am learning to write with it.

let's goooooo!

Well, SQQ appears to be in a coffin? p29

fuck, i'm already smudging the ink with my new pen. The lefty curse of it all. IDK how much of this is going to be legible later. RIP

okay... but how long has he been in here? MXTX is describing everything as dusty as hell. p30 (resolved as I read further- not very long LOL)

and he has his original body! That's exciting! Who did it though?? p30

LOL SQQ has 0 chance with this "advanced level plot" p31. He is totally fucked for sure.

These 'blind corpses' sound like a walking horror show. I would be so scared omg. I don't know how far the animated series got- but if this is animated that would look cool as fuck. p32

okay! they're fueled by breath! that's really neat though! pp33-34 Scary, but cool.

I would die immediately in this situation. When the thing (blind corpses) that are already horrible and unbeatable are scared of something else -> absolutely no hope in surviving. p35

ah, it is our little snake-man. I had a suspicion this was related to him and Luo Binghe's dad. He probably took SQQ's corpse too and brought it here. p35

OMG LOL Luo Binghe's dad is awful, but also feels like a troll AND is serving dad jokes. Re: thinking back to when SQQ knocked on the coffin and he answered from inside LOOOL. p36

Listen. Can we just take a moment to appreciate the absolute DILF that is Luo Binghe's father? I am a whole lesbian but that character art cannot objectively argued as anything else. p37

and now SQQ is going on about Tianlang-jun having BDE (not those exact words but I mean when you say he's working that coffin like it's a Paris fashion week runway and Luo binghe - the man you are obsessed with- could NEVER, it says something.). p38

That fucking power move too! SQQ: seems you've waited a while to meet me, why don't you come out of there and do so. Tianlang-jun: *bats eyes* okay but only if you hold my hand and work for it p39

SQQ has this habit of getting kidnapped "for his own good" but no one ever tells him why it's good for him XD this entire situation is so annoying. Tianlang-jun did this all so that he could get him away from the sects he wanted to destroy. p43

OMG scratch that. He also wants to use him as bait to snatch his sons body as his own. p45.

aside: I'm going to have to organize these notes later- I'm not catching the nuance in the hand written notes LOL my brain is processing faster than my hand (you will notice that the last 2 points here do not match my hand written notes because they were a hot mess).

What an entrance Luo Binghe! p47

Yes SQQ! You rescue your man from his dad (RE: holding Zhuzhi lang hostage) p51

holy shit. Zhuzhi lang is WILD - he really was about to just die instead of be a hostage LOL p52 I want to know what his character motivation is. He's giving the same blind trust energy as The Core Melting Hand in MDZS. Both just so loyal to a fault/their own demise. Do we learn more? or is this it? (genuine question- don't tell me WHAT we learn, just yes/no if we learn more).

That was so smart to hit the anti-theft measures in the tomb p53

aaaaaaaand he snatched the wrong person on the escape. well, that's fantastic. p54

I am loving the traps in this mausoleum though! The face with the magma and then the various rooms. I want to know if this exists as a D&D dungeon crawl/anyone has made one, I think it would be so fun. p59

omg. I don't think that Luo Binghe realizes/knows that that was his own father and cousin. that's so terrible. Truly Luo Binghe was treated so fucking badly literally his entire life. His dad does not even give a shit. Honestly probably only had him for this situation - needing a new body. p61

:((((( Our boy, Luo Binghe is in a bad way rn. gah! so many cliff hangers. p63

MXTX Cliffhangar Lord

And now I have to wait until tomorrow to see if baby Luo Binghe makes it. I'm sure SQQ is going to do something about it but dang, he is not well.

[arielluva]

its just a burning memory

(version without extra effects/textures under cut)

[rottengurlz]

lover, don't touch me // leave, i am a danger to you // but ooh, i hunger for you

[weaverofink]

wendy kent can have a cool outfit!! as a treat!!!!!!!!!

[icewindandboringhorror]

There's always a slight yearning in the back of my mind wishing I had been born in the right place, time, family situation, income level, etc. to have just lived in one single house for my entire life. Imagine being born in a place that still suits you, even through all of your personal evolutions and etc. The idea of deep familiarity with an area because you've lived and explored it for 40+ years, being encased in a web of memories and connections. Being able to clean out your old childhood bedroom and find personal artifacts, to dig in the yard and remember. I know those lives can still be plenty imperfect, but there's just something so seemingly solid and stable and Grounding about it that I sometimes wish I could have.. (At least from my outside perspective as someone who's moved around a bit geographically and even within the same area, never lives in the same house/ apartment /etc. for more than a few years usually.) Like... having a place that is printed upon, fully your own, rather than chronically a visitor, every thought of a space always tempered with the notion that one day soon you'll have to pack it all up again, etc. There's something peaceful about the permanence.

[bilbao-song]

another tom & jeffrey photo found lurking in the depths of my phone

[daisybell-on-a-carousel]

Honestly fascinated learning more of the fanon vs canon going on here. Truly tempted to read Tim's comics just to see the extent of what's been done to him

[thomine]

44, 49, 68, 72 ovo

fanfiction writing asks (accepting!)

44. What is your favorite genre to write?

i want to say angst but i don't like angst without its layers, and that would not make it not quite angst anymore? anyways, i like things with high conflict and tension, angst comes close.

49. What fic of yours would you say is the best introduction to you as a writer?

oooh. this is a tough question... i would say ready, aim, fire (venti). it's a writing style edging on what i would consider my ideal writing style. the story has a structure (start, middle, end), and it's all delivered with poetic writing that ties the story to the larger prompt.

68. Are there any fics that influenced you to write the way you do?

no fic in particular, but my experience reading fics has formed rules that shape my writing. for example, i don't like flashback arcs so i try to avoid them in my works. i am not good with keeping up with time/dates when reading, so i tend to write without time in mind.

72. What’s your favorite writing compliment you’ve gotten?

asking to pick a favourite compliment is like asking to pick a favourite child. feels wrong but undoubtedly there will be a favourite child, haha. i think it has to be when someone shares how the fic made them feel. i know there are shortcomings in my execution, but ultimately, i am trying my best because i want my stories to leave an impact. so when people share with me how the fic made them feel, it's the biggest compliment to know my words are alive.

[opens-up-4-nobody]

...

[llatimeria]

Just finished The Santaroga Barrier by Frank Herbert (my dad likes to play audiobooks in the car on trips) and I didn't like it much (and there's quite a bit of Yikes in it, because frank herbert and the 1960s in general,) but the aspect I found most interesting was the concept of like. A world's subconscious desire to kill The Other.

In the book an investigator visits a small cultish town in order to investigate it for a market study after a few other researchers mysteriously died. he gets into a frightening number of "accidents" while he's there (like the former investigators) and starts believing that there was a conspiracy among the townsfolk and all of them were intentionally trying to murder him.

tl;dr, it turns out it actually was a subconscious yet intense phobia/hatred they had of The Outside they had as part of their personal traumas, childhood indoctrination into their local cult, and the LSD-like drug they were constantly on. They didn't mean the investigator any harm, if anything they were extremely welcoming, kind, well-meaning people, but this background radiation of fear and rage kept making them accidentally do things to kill him - mixing up insecticide and spices in his food, gas fumes being pumped in his hotel room after a botched maintenance job, a torn carpet tripping him off the railing of the balcony, and Many Other subtle attempts on his life that he just happened to avoid by sheer chance.

But all the townsfolk don't really think anything of it - the town doctor, especially skeptical, "diagnoses" him as "accident-prone" until the investigator begs and pleads with him for days after several brutal accidents in a row, and only then does the doctor start believing him but even then only comes up with the theory that all of this supposed malice towards the investigator is "subconscious" - later shown to likely be correct when the investigator himself, after overdosing on their special drug, "accidentally" shoves his colleague off a roof, killing him, but the investigator physically cannot see it as anything but an accident anymore. it simply doesn't reach his mind that he killed a former friend of his. it was just an accident. he just fell, all on his own.

the idea of A Town That Wants To Kill You, But It's Nothing Personal resonated with me from the perspective of being a disabled person, especially one in a generally welcoming, accepting environment. when you're disabled, not a lot of people will come to you bearing their ableism between their teeth. They'll be nice, insensitive maybe, but nice, and are often outwardly willing to accomodate you. But they also stick out their leg as you're walking along to trip you. They'll apologize, and you'll maybe even believe it, even though to you, from your perspective, it was obviously an attempt to harm you. You excuse it once, maybe twice, but after a point, you realize that this world, this community you have entered, is actively hostile towards you and everyone like you. so you start screaming it to the rooftops. you tell authorities that the world wants to hurt you, but they begin affixing labels to you like "paranoid" or "anxious". they know no one actually has it out for you, personally, after all. that would be ridiculous.

but you still keep getting tripped down the stairs. the rat poison and the sugar at your favorite coffee shop still keep getting mixed up, but only when it's your order. in the hospital, recovering from your previous "accidents", a nurse will still accidentally pump you full of saline instead of medicine.

after a point, doesn't the fact that all of these are "accidents", and that no one WANTS to kill you, just... stop mattering a little bit? Yeah, no one wants to hurt you, but they just keep doing it. They keep making stupid little mistakes. They know everyone like you who has visited their community has died or been seriously injured under suspicious circumstances, but the idea that they, themselves, could be a little bit at fault just doesn't even register to them. they don't even consider that they might have to change their ways in order to protect people like you. After all, you can't prepare for every "freak accident". Even when the solution could be as simple as "stop putting rat poison next to the sugar", every time it happens to you, or a person like you, it's just an "accident", that no one "meant" any harm, and "nothing could be done".

it doesn't cross their mind that a string of unfortunate accidents ceases to be accidents, but serious negligence. it can't cross their mind, because they're not the victims here. they only even begin to acknowledge something might be wrong when the victims are screaming in their face, day after day. even then, they come to the conclusion that even if you're right, and the community does want to kill you because you are Other, they won't immediately see anything wrong with that. To Them, the answer is clear as day: just become one of Them, and you'll be safe. They take care of their own.

[peach-pot]

I will say one thing I always think about while watching the good place is how like…. interesting the balance it strikes between conforming to and defying amatanormativity is.

[whimsyprinx]

ANYWAYS I’m working on a little bottle charm, here’s how it looks rn

[toytulini]

also

[andromedasummer]

listen i need u people to understand that when i say i find your white man unattractive specifically to me and my tastes/say i am surprised they are found conventionally attractive, it is 99% because their style of facial hair is giving me such a bad sensory reaction i cannot look at them. i am sure your man is normal under there. if i look at his patchy beard any longer i am going to have to lock myself in a room and stim or i'll bite something and tear out my fingernails and not in a good way.

[i-appear-misssing]

Man.......Car Seat Headrest, right?