#i was dumb and didn't write down which chapter this came from

[mrdixon]

A Rugged Muse | Chapter 1

pairing: eventual daryl dixon x f!reader

wc: 3.1k

warnings: swearing, violence, slight depiction of gore, vomiting

summary: reader has a shit day. basically the day of the outbreak.

A/N: FIRST CHAPTER WOOOO i am clearly not an art major…. im in the different arts. so apologies to you visual artists im going off from my lack of knowledge from my hobby lol. i really hope you guys enjoy this series because i am EXCITED to write it.

a rugged muse masterlist |regular masterlist

“Fuck,” you groaned, slamming your forehead onto the desk in front of you. A few heads turned to look at you in the library, you cursed under your breath and looked up again after a moment. Adjusting the glasses askew on your face before looking at the paper on the desk. The paper before you was worn with erased pencil marks, slightly wrinkled. Art block was the worst, you’d rather be ten feet under than stuck with art block.

You sighed, it’s been months since your last project and even that was a fail. It didn't help that you only worked at a fucking minimum wage job, maybe you should've listened to your parents and became a doctor or something. It wasn't like it was always like this, no… art school was a breeze. You had hosted real galleries where people came to see your art, and now look at you. Moping around in a library, desperately trying to find something to draw.

After tapping your pencil against the table which by the way, earned many dirty looks, you scooted closer to the table. Picking up your old sketchbook and frantically flipping through it to find…. so many god damn drawings of, him. Your god forsaken ex boyfriend, but he was gorgeous.

You met him ironically enough in art class, way back in high school. He was there by choice, you were not. Yet everything about him was just so captivating that you couldn't help but not switch out of the class, thank god you didn't. You enjoyed the class more than you expected, painting being one of your favourite forms of art, oils being your preferred medium. You painted and sketched every moment of the day, not putting down that brush for one second. Your ex boyfriend was your inspiration, every detail on that stupid face was engraved in your mind like a marble statue. His beautiful plump lips and the beauty marks that scattered over his face being two of your favourite features.

Art was everything to you, and so was he. He was all you drew, he made life seem prettier and happier. But then he dumped you for some random chick he met in a bar, that was six months ago.

Since then you've had no motivation and no inspiration for your projects. Flowers no longer had their charm, abstracts looked dumb to you again, oils looked muddy. Nothing worked.

You picked up your pencil and started at the paper again, pushing your glasses up before hesitantly sketching out lines. Your mind wandered back to him, you still couldn’t believe it. After years of being together he’d just leave like that? Those years of pure, innocent love where you’d make breakfast with him, take baths together, even paint each other for fun. Date nights that were full of giggles and messily painting on each others skin, his fingertips grazing over your eyelids and nose as he sculpted you out of clay. He threw that all away for a woman he’s known for one night.

Your pencil moved furiously against the paper, scarring it like he scarred you. When you looked back down at it you noticed it was him, those hostile eyes from that night staring right through you. Those words of heartbreak echoing through your mind, words that came from lips that used to kiss you every morning. You huffed angrily, no matter how much you hated him, he always came back. He was always in your mind, plaguing your thoughts like venom. Slamming your pencil down you stood up, ripping the paper furiously.

Now there were whispers, people looked at you weirdly. After remembering your place in the world, you picked up your things and packed up quickly, aching to get back home to your bed. While in your haste, you dropped something. You already were in an irritable mood so you took a deep breath before causing a scene over a dropped item, crouching down to pick up just to notice it was the painting knife he had gifted you months before you broke up. The words ”To the love of my life…” engraved on it. After shoving the painting knife back into your bag angrily you quickly got back on your feet and headed towards the door, not before throwing half your sketches into the bin. As if you couldn’t get any more frustrated, someone bumped into you which caused you to whip around. Though no words came out of your mouth as you took in the sight of the person.

They were sickly pale, sweating profusely and trembling. Their eyes were bloodshot, matching the… bite wound on their forearm? They shook looking at you, mumbling a meek apology and pushing their sleeve down over their arm before walking away. Weird. Anyway.

You turned back around, must be some weird prank or something. Whatever, you were extremely tired and needed to get back to your apartment asap. As you left the library the humid August air hit you like a truck, not helping your heated mood at all. Grumbling to yourself you tried not to let it affect you, instead pushing your hair behind your shoulders, what a convenient day to forget your hair tie. Nothing was going your way, it was like the world was against you. A scream broke your thoughts, it came from somewhere ahead of you. Great, someone probably got mugged and now you were next. Just another thing to keep you moody.

A woman turned the corner, running towards you. You braced yourself for the mugging but to your surprise, it never came. The woman’s face was drained, it was as if she saw a ghost. She didn’t stop running, she was terrified and stuff was falling out of her purse but she didn’t even bother to pick them up. You watched as she ran past you without batting as eye, what is going on today? Shrugging, you picked up the stuff she dropped, finders keepers. Gum, tissues, tampons, condoms, and… her wallet. You almost jumped in joy, you could really use the money right now.

Finally out of your mood you practically skipped down the street, looking through the wallet and counting the cash. $10… $28… $48… $130… $135— oh wait that’s a Canadian $5 what the fuck— $140. One hundred forty fucking dollars in cash, that woman must’ve been loaded to carry this much cash. Well, now you carried it.

Another scream broke your daze, but this time it was closer. You looked up and saw another terrified woman running towards you, this time knocking into you which caused you to crash onto the floor, the cash scattering across the pavement. Back in your mood.

“What the fuck is your problem!?” You yelled, watching the woman continue running and not even look back. Is there a goddamn marathon you didn’t know about or what? You fiercely picked up the scattered cash, shoving them into your bag immediately before crossing your arms and continuing your walk back to your apartment. Fixing your glasses you saw a man get tackled to the ground by another man a street in front of you, was this happening to everyone???

Much to your horror you watched as the man on top mauled into the other’s neck, tearing through the skin and splattering blood everywhere. You froze, feeling your blood run cold at the sight. You watched as the man kept eating away at the now, dead person. The man’s head turned slightly to grab at more of the bloodied flesh, you now noticing the cloudy eyes and gray skin. This man was already dead, so how was he…

You snapped out of it, turning the other way to avoid whatever was happening. This had to be a sick joke. Your heart was beating in your ears, weaving through the back lanes to find a different path to your home. Hair stood at the back of your neck as your senses were now alert, if whatever that was is real, you had to be way more careful. It was quiet in the alley, calm. You let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding. Stopping for a second to catch your breath and recollect your thoughts, bending over slightly and placing your hands on your knees.

“Jesus christ,” you muttered. You couldn’t get the visual out of your head, that man was murdered right in front of you. His eyes bulging out of his head when he couldn’t even scream for help, that… monster ripping his throat out and devouring him in broad daylight. You shook your head, running your fingers through your hair frantically as you tried to rid your brain of that image.

A low groaning filled your ears and before you could register it you were falling to the ground, a grunt escaping you as you quickly turned onto your back. One of those things were falling over you, your quick reflexes holding them up by their shoulders. You got a clear view of what they looked like, their eyes were clouded over, veins more visible under their pale skin, their lips and chin dribbling with blood. You grimaced, trying to scream but nothing came out, nothing but a flow of air. They were strong, jaw snapping closer and closer to you. If you didn’t do anything now you’d end up like that guy on that street. No fucking way you were going to die like that.

Struggling a little, you lifted your legs under them and kicked from their stomach. Throwing the thing off of you, grunting you scrambled to your feet. The thing quickly following, their leg twisted as they got up from the position you flung them in. Surely it would’ve hurt if it were you, but unlike you, they weren’t living. You opened your bag and shoved your hand in, cursing yourself in your head for shoving everything in there. You held out your other arm protectively while stepping backwards from the thing. The hand in your bag searched wildly for something to defend yourself with, something to kill with. Could you even kill them?

Your back hit the wall, panic filling your body as the thing got closer. Before it could get any closer you tucked your forearm under their chin to hold them back, a loud cry escaping you as you fought to hold them back. When you were starting to give up, the hand in your bag finally found something metal. Ripping it out you immediately swung at it with the item, sinking it into their head which was surprisingly easy. Adrenaline probably. The thing fell to the ground, dead again.

You let out a heavy sigh, sliding down the wall. You looked down at your hands, bloodied with what you could only hope wasn’t your own blood. You were shaking profusely, your breathing uneven. You closed your eyes, trying to steady your breathing as you pressed your knees to your chest, the heel of your palm placed on your forehead. You stayed like this for a moment, you don’t know how long. But once you were ready you let out one last shaky breath before opening your eyes again, and glancing down at the thing on the ground in front of you.

You almost laughed as you realized you used the painting knife to end the thing, but you didn’t. You silently reached over and pulled it out, swallowing as it made a gross squelch sound. Looking down at your painting knife which was now covered in its blood, you wiped it off on their shirt. Taking a closer look at the body and noticing a bite mark on their shoulder, much like the person in the library. Your lip quivered as you imagined what had happened to them, what might’ve happened to you if you stayed. There was a low pit in your stomach as you stood up, your mouth suddenly filling with saliva before hunching over and vomiting. Your eyes filled with tears just realizing how close to death you were, throwing up your lunch.

You coughed, wiping your mouth on your sleeve before shoving the painting knife back into your bag. You had to get home, now. Your feet moved quickly, not stopping for even a second. There were barely anyone on the streets and you wondered if your home was even safe. Stop, your feet stopped. Don’t think like that. With a heavy breath you took off again, walking even faster towards your apartment building. Please, please, please….

You jolted suddenly as your phone started ringing, you grabbed it but didn’t stop walking. Answering without even checking the caller ID.

“Hello?” You said almost too quietly, still shaken up from your encounter with the thing.

“(Y/N)?? (Y/N), are you okay!?” The anxious voice yelled, it was your older brother, Glenn. You almost cried in happiness, walking even faster now.

“Yes Glenn, yes I’m fine…” you mumbled into the phone, breathing a sigh of relief that your brother was alive. “What is going on?”

“God, I don’t know. All I know is people are dying and coming back to life and eating each other and dying and coming back to—”

“Yeah, yeah I get it!” you cut him off, “I almost—” you stopped, deciding not to tell him about your fight. He was anxious enough, he always was but you didn’t want to worry him even more.

“Almost what?? You didn’t get bit did you!?” He yelled which caused you to pull your phone away from your ear in discomfort.

“No I didn’t, stop yelling.” You replied irritated, you heard him sigh on the other end. Hearing distant voices in the background. “Where are you?”

“I was at work when I saw everything go down, I drove back to the pizza place immediately.” He said more calmer, “but we’re gonna move out soon.”

You furrowed your brows in confusion, “wait why? Isn’t it safe there? Why not wait for help?”

“You didn’t hear? I thought you were always on your phone,” you scoffed in annoyance at his probe. “They’re setting up camps, courtesy of the military I think.”

You chest filled with hope, you were going to be safe. “Oh thank god, okay wait I’m going back to my place to grab some things. Where is the camp?”

When Glenn responded his end was filled with feedback, static. “It’s gonna. Arou— Ta—”

“Glenn?? You’re… you’re cutting off.” You said nervously, nearing your apartment.

“A— Yo— I’m—” And the call failed.

Dread filled your body once again, now you really were going to cry. You shakily walked through the apartment building, keeping guard for potential things around. Opting for the stairs, you walked swiftly up them. Out of breath by the time you reached your room, fortunately there was nothing to stop you.

Once you got in you immediately dropped everything, locking the door and collapsing to the floor. Tears filled your eyes once more and you let some of them escape and trickle down your cheeks, you were scared. Scared of those things roaming around, they could kill, you’ve seen it. You removed your glasses momentarily to wipe your face. You shook your head you took a deep breath and stood up, you had to pack and leave immediately. You didn’t know where you were going but you had to leave, you had to find Glenn.

Putting your glasses back on, you crawled over and rummaged through your closet carelessly, trying to find a backpack that was big enough to carry all your necessities. Your apartment was already a mess so you didn’t bother being slow and careful right now, which might have been a bad idea as you snagged your finger on a stray box cutter.

“Shit,” you muttered while pulling your hand back, a cut dragged along your index finger. You rushed over to the sink, washing it quickly before throwing a bandage over the cut. While doing so you heard a police siren drive by, the sound dying off as it drove farther and farther away. You sighed before returning to the closet, grabbing a big enough backpack and shoving as much clothes you could get while also leaving room for extra things.

You stood up and looked around your small apartment, your bed looked so inviting. You were exhausted beyond help, your body aching with the need to rest. I shouldn’t. You thought and continued scrambling for items to take with you, the amount of scattered pages of sketches filled the space that was your floor. Your heart broke at the thought of leaving your things behind but you knew it’d be useless to take with you, but you couldn’t take nothing.

You grabbed a few pencils and brushes, along with a small paint palette and placed them carefully into your bag, an empty sketchbook joining them. While searching you opened your desk drawer, three daggers which you made in a welding class a couple years ago. They were sturdy and well sharp enough, thank god you were good at making things. You took them and put them into a sheath to prevent stabbing yourself. You grabbed a few more things like a lighter, some bandaids, and batteries. You frowned at the lack of supplies you had on hand, but you tried to convince yourself that you’d be taken care of at the camps.

You moved over to your small kitchen and grabbed a water bottle which you filled, also grabbing a couple snacks that would keep you full for a few days at best. You heard a few distant screams outside, some screams of pain which caused you to wince. The sudden thought of living in an apocalypse dawned over you, a feeling of dread rushing through you. You couldn’t shake the feeling off but you chose to ignore it. You did not want to go into a panic right now, you had to have a clear and positive mind if you wanted to live.

You pulled your bag over your shoulders and walked over to your mirror to take a look at yourself, grounding yourself for the world outside. You wanted so badly to sleep but you knew you had to get a move on if you wanted to get to a camp safely.

“I can do this..” you whispered under your breath, clutching at the handle of one of your daggers, turning to the door. You just had to get to a camp, but more importantly you had to find Glenn.

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more a/n: for the sake of having glenn as reader's older brother im having him be around 24-27 years old right now, reader being like 23 ish. and daryl will be like 32….??? i dunno im trying to make this as canon as possible BUT UGH IT IS SO $&£”*^%*£ so yeah there will be a little bit of an age gap between reader and daryl but i hope that wont be too much of a problem for you guys…. probably not. and do not quote me if i get settings or the timeline wrong like twd is confusing enough for me……….. again im also like rewatching and making sure to make everything as close to the show as possible, but theres also the possibility of me altering the timeline (muehehehe). anyways tysm for reading and stay tuned! ★

[mikachacha]

𝚂𝙿𝙴𝙰𝙺 𝙽𝙾𝚆 (𝙱𝙰𝙳𝙰 𝙻𝙴𝙴 𝚇 𝙰𝙲𝚃𝚁𝙴𝚂𝚂! 𝚁𝙴𝙰𝙳𝙴𝚁) 𝙲𝙷. 1

Synopsis: You're a transfer student from the states and Bada shows you around the campus, offering herself to be your friend

Warnings: Bullying (because we're set in middle school/highschool scene for the first few parts)

(A/N: I'm so happy about this series because i literally had this planned out from start to finish and it's just a fun little project to write 🤧🤧🫶🫶)

Series Master List

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Chapter One

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"Everyone, this is Y/N. She's a transfer student from the states and will be joining our class until the end of the school year." you stood there nervously as your teacher introduced you to your classmates. Some of them began whispering amongst each other as they looked at you, probably recognizing you right away. You sighed, mentally cursing your decision to not be homeschooled instead but then again, you wanted to experience the life of a normal teenager so you chose to go to a normal school.

"Isn't she the daughter of a famous actress? The one who won as the best actress?" you heard one of your classmates whisper to another and you just bowed your head, wanting this whole thing to be over.

"Alright, does anyone want to volunteer to show her around the campus? Anyone?" Your teacher asked and a hand shot up from the back. You looked at the person, curiosity in your eyes as she even stood up. She's easily the tallest girl in your class, hell, she's even taller than most of the guys there.

"I volunteer!" she said rather loudly that earned annoyed looks from the other girls but she just stuck her tongue out at them in a playful manner which earned a chuckle from you. You feel at ease with her playful personality, you could feel that you're gonna get along with her just fine.

"Very well, Ms. Lee and please sit down." your teacher says. You bowed to your teacher, thanking her before she told you to sit down beside Bada. You sat down on the chair and she immediately stuck out her hand for you to shake which surprised you a bit.

"Hi, I'm Lee Bada. Nice to meet you." she introduces herself and you shake her hand, smiling at how warm and welcoming she is towards you.

"I'm Y/N. Pleased to meet you as well." you say and begin to pay attention to the lesson being discussed by your teacher. You were struggling a bit since you're still quite bad at hangul so Bada took the initiative to lend you her notes, which had some English translation on some parts so you can understand the lesson better. You thanked her and quickly copied it, marking some topics so you can research it later so you won't have any troubles.

Bada showed you around the campus during your free period. She even introduced you to some of her friends from other classes so you'll have more acquaintances. Everything was going well until lunch came around. You were eating with Bada along with Bada, Haeun and Hyeji when one of the mean girls 'accidentally' poured her drink on your head. You could feel your heart pounding hard against your chest, your face becoming red from humiliation.

"Oops, sorry. I didn't know someone was there.. Oh right, you're Y/N.. Daughter of a famous actress. But here? You're just a nobody.." Park Hyunseo, the one who poured her drink on you, said and tossed the container of her drink on your head before going with her friends, laughing at how dumb and ugly you 'looked'.

Haeun began to dry your hair with some napkins while Hyeji grabbed her handkerchief and lent it to you. Meanwhile, Bada looked like she was about to rip their heads off before sighing out and getting up, offering you her hand.

"Come on, let's get you cleaned up.. I have some extra clothes from my locker. Though you'll be stuck wearing something with 'Lee 22' at the back." she says and you take her hand, getting up along with your newfound friends as they led you to the bathroom while Bada went to get the spare shirt she had in her locker.

"Don't mind those bullies.. They get bored and they forget about you." Haeun sighs and helps you dry your hair while Hyeji stands guard by the door, in case the bullies come and torment you again.

"Are they always like that or is it an initiation rite for transfer students?" you asked and Haeun shrugs, leaning against the sink.

"I think they have a roulette of some sort to pick out which students they're gonna target that day.. Yesterday they bullied Park Hyojin from class 8-C during PE then Cheon Yonjin during lunch." Haeun recounted and you couldn't help but feel fear since it seems like the mean girls are targeting you as well.

"Here you go. It might be a bit big on you but that'll do." Bada enters and hands you the shirt. You took it, thanking her before you got in a cubicle and changed your top. Bada was right, it was a bit bigger so you had to tie it at the back a little. You came out and went with your friends to your next class, chattering like nothing happened. You're happy that you're all getting along well and that you're making friends on your first day.

"Y/N.. I couldn't understand the lesson, not one bit! Shit.. My parents will definitely beat my ass if I fail this." Bada whined beside you, your English lesson just ended. You chuckle and played with her hair a bit before packing your belongings inside your bag.

"How about this, I'll teach you English then you'll be teaching me Hangul so that we none of us would fail?" you suggested and you could swear her eyes lit up like a child who was told they could have ice cream for breakfast.

"Really? You'd do that? You're a life saver! I swear you're an angel sent to help me!" Bada said happily and even hugged you which earned strange looks from your other classmates and laughs from your friends.

Ever since that day, you began inviting Bada to your house so you could study together and tutor each other. Your mom got so used to having Bada around that she'd ask if Bada is coming so she could order food for dinner. Haeun and Hyeji would tag along from time to time as well to your study sessions and have a sleep over at your place during the weekends to spend time together. You felt happy, you're having fun with friends but you couldn't deny that you felt a special bond with Bada who easily became your best friend, your confidant.

"Bada, why did you volunteer to show me around?" you asked as you and Bada were taking a little break from studying. She's sprawled out on your bed and hugging one of your stuffed toy.

"I thought you were really nice and would rather show you around rather than entrusting you to the boys at our class who's dying to get your number." she shrugs and you plopped down on the bed as well, snuggling up to the taller girl who looks at you briefly playfully smacking you with a pillow that prompted a pillow fight in your room. You were both giggling and a bit out of breath when you stopped, just snuggled up against each other and just being lost in your own little world. You didn't even noticed your mom bringing in food until she plopped down on the bed as well and pinching both yours and Bada's cheeks, telling you to eat first.

"Mommmmmm stop." you whined, pouting as you rubbed your cheek that she pinched. She only laughs before leaving your room so you and Bada could eat in peace.

"By the way, Y/N. I have an upcoming event. Do you wanna go with me? You can bring your friends as well if you want." your mom says from your bedroom door after she collected the dishes from your dinner. You looked at Bada then at your mom.

"Wanna go?" you asked Bada who seemed to be deep in thought about the offer.

"Yeah, sure. Though I don't think I have the right clothes for that kind of event. Are we also taking Haeun and Hyeji?" Bada asks and you nodded, eyes twinkling with excitement. Finally, you won't be bored out of your wits at your mom's many events since Bada will be there along with your friends.

"Don't worry about the clothes, my mom's stylists got us covered and yeah! We're taking those two." you reassured Bada who smiles and nods at your mom.

"Yeah we're coming! Will there be food?" Bada jokingly asks which made your mom laugh and shake her head in pure amusement.

"For a kid that looks so thin, you sure do eat a lot.. Aigoo.. But yes, there will be lots of food. You and your friends will really enjoy it and you'll be meeting Y/N's dad." your mom responded before excusing herself to get the dishes to the kitchen. Bada looked at you, a shocked look on her face.

"Meeting your dad? Damn, if we were in a cheesy teen movie, it's like I'm that boyfriend who's meeting your family for the first time and the dad would tell me to get my ass home and never come back because I'm never good enough for his daughter." Bada says dramatically which got you laughing your ass off. Bada just chuckles, seeing that she's able to make you laugh is good enough for her.

"I shouldn't have let you watch those American romance movies.. Now you're being influenced by those cliché scenes." you joked and she just stuck her tongue out at you playfully before you resumed your study/ sleep over.

Tag list———;; (still open)

@xiakiyama , @mightymyo , @moonsvrse , @itstrashjustrash , @prilux , @mikaleialt , @azhel, @lil-elliesgf , @1luvkarina , @jhopes-whoopee-cushion, @zhivaxo, @boombadabby, @avocifera, @rhickah

[gyunglitter]

➷ 03 ➷

-“oh, the way he makes me feel that love isn’t real -– cupid is so dumb”

or

unlike you, your brother’s best friend just doesn’t know when to quit

word count: 4,034

warnings: cursing, mentions of running, soobin and reader bickering, a sweaty beomgyu in a tank top, CRINGE lmaooo

tags: brother’s-best-friend!beomgyu x reader, ??? to ???, angst, fluff(??), beomgyu is the cool boy-next-door, reader is an independent girlboss (or trying to be, at least), beomgyu’s gonna be GROVELING, simp!gyu, pathetic pining from both sides lol, maybe some cringe from reader (she was a teenage girl in love, have some empathy plz😭)

notes: this chapter literally didn’t exist lol, but as i was writing chapter 4, i realized it didn't flow well and spawned this. while writing it, i HATED it, but then threw in some crack and suddenly it’s my favorite thing lol. hope y’all get a laugh out of it—if not, i’m officially so unfunny :)

–> masterlist <–

One of the habits you had picked up while away: working out early in the mornings. Whether it was going for a run, doing yoga, or some pilates you would wake up early and start your day with a good bit of sweat before devouring a smoothie and protein bowl.

Of course, you couldn’t quite replicate your routine with how your parents’ blender was broken and the protein in your house was a bit more limited than you had back at your place, but you could make do. Then there was your childhood neighborhood that didn’t have the same layout as your apartment’s neighborhood did; there were many more hills and way less sidewalks. But you figured you had walked these streets for eighteen years with only the occasional complaint, so it shouldn’t be that hard. You could make do.

Or at least you thought you could.

Currently, you were gasping for breath as you finished trekking up the last hill to your house. You’d forgotten just how much worse the monsoon season felt at home than at school. Thankfully, you’d dressed correctly for your morning run: your running shorts, a sports bra, and breezy tank top to help your dying body breathe easier. You just wish your terrain was more forgiving.

You decided to walk the rest of the street back to your house, feeling utterly humbled (and old) as the early morning sun beat down on your back. Sweat glided down your cheeks, making you take the hem of your tank top to wipe it off, before ultimately taking it off and using it as a towel instead. You swung the top across your shoulders and sighed at the discomfort, vowing to stick to your indoor pilates workout routine until the weather mellowed out. 

You spent the rest of your walk internally whining about everything you’d done wrong since waking up, going over all of your worst regrets. But it wasn’t until you got to your front lawn, that you actually faced your biggest one. Which, of course, came in the form of Choi Beomgyu.

A gorgeous, sweaty, messy, out of breath Choi Beomgyu.

Feeling your cheeks heat up beyond what would be considered healthy, you gawked at the boy–no, man–who was currently putting together some machine in his own front lawn–the front lawn that your birdbrain had completely forgotten was right next door to your own. Beomgyu had also been dressed for the weather, wearing a loose, white tank top and black shorts with wire headphones as he worked. He looked like he might’ve been up for as long as you had, with sweat running down his forehead and arms, leading down to his dirty hands that you could only assume caused the multiple oil stains smeared on the front of his top. His hair was a delightful mess, but of course on Choi Beomgyu it made him look like a greek god. His face was a bit flushed from working, but you knew it was no match for the red on your face at the moment. 

Lucky for you, he was completely focused on whatever the hell he was building.

Feeling hopeful, you discreetly inched towards your porch steps to avoid garnering his attention. You deemed your confrontation with him the night before to be good enough interaction for the next year, and you really did not want a repeat of it now, when you’re half naked and sweaty.

But as life would have it, you still have many regrets to live through today.

“Y/n?” he called.

You nearly shrieked as your body went on autopilot and jumped.

…Into the nearest bush.

“Y/n?!” he yelped, sounding a bit more concerned this time around.

WHY THE FUCK DID I DO THAAAT?

You hit your forehead with your fist as you berated yourself now physically and mentally while you basically hid behind the shrub by your porch. It’s not like you could escape the interaction, the only way to get out would be the way you came, which would only make you look so much weirder since he literally watched you jump, anyway! Now you were naked, sweaty, and had sticks in your hair. You really had to work on your fight or flight response because what the hell.

So much for acting like you moved on–what happened to being unbothered?!

You groaned and took your hair out of its ponytail to at least have something covering your shoulders a bit more. You used your tank top to wipe off additional sweat and dirt before trying to calm down and gather yourself.

“Y/n, are you okay?!” Beomgyu yelled, making you sigh heavily before popping out of your hiding spot.

“What–Beomgyu? Wow, I totally didn’t even see you there,” you coughed, pulling a random stick out of your hair.

Kill me.

You tried to not make eye contact with the boy, but you saw he was gaping at you and your disheveled state. 

“W-what hap– a-are you okay?”

“Never better,” you replied. “I just thought there was a squirrel in the bush and-well, uh, you know...”

“I don’t think I do,” he said, furrowing his eyebrows.

You didn’t either. But you weren’t going to say that.

Instead, you waved his words off and let the space between you fill with silence. Beomgyu took both of his earbuds out and scratched the back of his neck while he tried to string together words. But it seemed neither of you were going to come up with much of anything as he continued to stare at you while you stared at the floor.

“Well,” you cleared your throat, wanting nothing more than to escape whatever the hell this was supposed to be. “See ya.”

You turned to run up your porch and into your house to curl up into a ball, when Beomgyu interrupted you once again.

“Wait, hold on!” he called, making you want to smash your head into the wall.

“We really have to stop doing this,” you groaned.

He let out a chuckle while you turned back towards him. “I know, my bad.”

You folded your arms as he nervously fiddled with the hem of tank top once again. While you tried to keep your self restraint in check, you allowed yourself one more second of drinking in the veins that popped from his forearms, before shaking yourself. “What do you want, Beomgyu?”

He motioned toward the half-finished machine sitting in front of him. “My dad just got this new grill for this weekend, and I’ve been trying to put it together all morning, but I need some help carrying the tank and finishing it up,” he explained.

You grimaced, “I don’t think I can help you out with that, to be honest.” Nor do I want to.

But luckily, he shook his hands frantically, “No, no! I just meant–I mean, I was going to come to your house to ask Soobin for some help, anyway! I just figured it would be kind of weird for me to knock on your door after you just left, you know, so…”

He let the words die awkwardly after rambling for a bit, but he looked to you with red ears and a hopeful look on his face that you got the gist of what he was saying without thinking he was weird or weak, or whatever was making him so anxious.

Not that you felt you were in a place to judge, after he just watched you jump into a bush.

Sighing a little bit, you hesitantly nodded at him and gestured to your house. “Alright, well come in then. I’m sure oppa’s not doing anything important right now, anyway.”

Beomgyu’s eyes slightly widened at the offer, before nodding enthusiastically. 

“Oh, perfect! G-great! Thanks, Y/n,” he rambled, which you ignored as he started speed walking over from his spot to follow you into your house.

You opened your door that was almost always unlocked and toed off your shoes easily and slipped into a pair of slippers while Beomgyu tried his best to not touch anything with his grease-stained fingers. Noticing his predicament, you bit the inside of your cheek in slight annoyance as you slid another pair of slippers next to his feet.

“Thank you,” he muttered, slightly embarrassed.

“Just go wash your hands in the bathroom,” you dismissed, immediately walking away from him to go further into the house. “Man, I’m starving.”

“Y/n? Is that you,” your mom’s voice called from the kitchen, making you walk in her direction.

Turning the corner, you’re faced with your mother in her usual pajamas, making herself a pot of coffee. You smiled brightly at her, but she gave you a confused look.

“Where are your clothes, bean?” she asked, making the smile drop off your face.

You heard Beomgyu choke from behind you, making your cheeks heat up ridiculously.

“Hello to you too, eomma,” you grumbled, making your way to the fridge to make yourself a yogurt bowl and fight off your blush. “I just went for a run at the worst time possible.”

Your mom snorted at that. “Why in the world would you want to do that?”

“Because I hate myself,” you grumbled sarcastically, only half joking considering your circumstances.

After taking a bit of time to grab all of the ingredients you needed, you went to sit at the counter by your mother who was making herself a mug.

“Did you want a cup?” she asked you, to which you made a sour face. “Oh, right, I forgot you hated coffee.”

“Which is a crime, by the way,” Beomgyu chimed in, coming into the kitchen as well, drying his hands off on a towel from the counter.

“Beomgyu! When did you get here, dear?” Your mother smiled at the boy who was practically her second son.

He smiled widely back at her, going in for a hug before realizing his shirt was horribly stained and pulling back.

“I came with little Y/n. I just went to wash my hands really quickly,” he explained.

Your mother let out a little laugh, “Speaking of washing, what happened to you? You look like you slept in a garage.”

You smirked at that, while Beomgyu went to explain himself. But before he could, you all heard heavy footsteps thunder down the staircase. It had been a few years, but you could recognize Soobin’s footsteps anywhere.

You were proven right when the steps had rounded the corner, revealing your older brother with his eyes barely opened. Soobin slowly trudged through the kitchen, his body on autopilot as he instinctively opened the right cabinets to get a bowl and cereal. It was only when he opened the fridge and grabbed the milk that you decided to say something.

“Well good morning, sunshine,” you cooed, making Beomgyu snort from behind you.

Like on command, your brother screamed and dropped the milk carton. He whipped around to face you, while you were currently swallowing a spoonful of your yogurt bowl.

“Jesus Christ, I forgot you were here,” he muttered. After rubbing his eyes roughly, he opened them once again to look at you, but quickly shielded his eyes and screamed again. “Where the hell are your clothes?!”

Your mom and Beomgyu laughed while you rolled your eyes and chucked a piece of granola at him. Your brother flinched when it bounced off of his forehead. 

“Is my nakedness really that bothersome to all of you,” you grumbled, scooping more yogurt into your mouth.

“Not bothersome,” your mom said as she went to grab another mug for your brother as she could tell he was in need of his own cup of coffee, “Just very shocking to see you in a sports bra considering the most exercise you did in high school was walking to the convenience store for ice creams.”

You absentmindedly grinned at that as you remembered all of your ice cream runs with your brother back in high school. 

It seemed Soobin was doing the same thing as he let out a happy sigh. “Ah, good times.”

You nodded in agreement as he picked up the milk carton and made his way to sit next to you to eat his breakfast.

Beomgyu came over as well and took the other seat next to you. “Did you enjoy your beauty sleep?”

Soobin squinted at the boy around you. “I did, actually. You look like you could’ve used it though–”

Your mother lightly swatted the back of your brother’s head, ignoring his cry as she asked, “Did you want a cup, Beomgyu?”

He eagerly nodded at her. “Thanks, Mrs. Choi, that sounds great!”

Beomgyu smirked at Soobin, while he merely pouted back. “Why are you even here, Beomgyu? It’s too early to deal with the sight of your face.”

Beomgyu snorted. “I literally texted you about it yesterday before the dinner; I took apart appa’s old grill and I’m setting up the new one since all the guys are coming in this weekend. I need your help with the tank and stuff.”

Soobin groaned at the idea of doing manual labor, while you turned to your brother with a confused look and asked, “‘Guys’? Who’s coming in?”

“Some of our friends from school are coming down to visit. Yeonjun and Kai are definitely; not sure about Taehyun though,” Soobin sighed. “They’ll be here all weekend and staying with Beomgyu. But for the first night, we’re barbecuing and having a bonfire.”

You recognized all of the names: you’d actually met Yeonjun in person years ago, Soobin having met him in his first semester at school and became friends through Beomgyu. They brought Yeonjun back home with them since he didn’t have any plans for the holidays, so you got to know him a bit. Then there was Taehyun, who you’d only heard every now and then from random stories. But at last, there was Kai, who had been a common name thrown around by Soobin, claiming he adored the guy and would pick having him as a younger sibling over you any day. 

Whatever.

It honestly surprised you to hear about Taehyun and Kai since it turned out they graduated high school the same year you had. Soobin told you they had met during a party where all three of them hid in a corner and bonded over their friends ditching them for the night. You’d been pretty interested in the lore behind your brother’s friend group when you were eighteen, until you’d heard the reason Soobin was ditched was because Yeonjun had been dragged into a beer pong game where he got smashed, and Beomgyu wanted to hook up with some random girl–who you would rather listen to your brother singing the Attack on Titan theme song for ten hours, than learn about. 

“You should actually come with, Y/n,” Beomgyu piped in, nudging your elbow.

You didn’t turn toward him, instead remaining adamant on facing the other direction toward Soobin as he shook his head.

“Uh, no. Why would I surround my sister with a bunch of men? It’s bad enough you can see her like this,” Soobin wrinkled his nose at you, to which you promptly kicked him in the shin. It didn’t take long for him to kick you back.

“Soob, come on,” Beomgyu scoffed. 

You honestly couldn’t tell whether Beomgyu was more offended over Soobin refusing you going, or the fact that him being around you was such a bad thing. And, the more you thought about it, the more you really didn’t want to know.

“What?” Soobin defended. “Men are disgusting!”

Your mother placed a mug in front of Soobin and Beomgyu respectively, before adding in her two cents, “I don’t know if you remember, Soobin-ah, but your sister isn’t thirteen anymore. She’s twenty-one and perfectly capable of deciding for herself if she would like to have men around her or not.”

“Thank you, Mrs. Choi! Spoken like a true feminist,” said Beomgyu, a wide grin on his face.

“Since when did you get so progressive?” Soobin deadpanned.

“Since when did you refer to Taehyun and Hyuka as ‘men’?”

“Touché, touché.”

Beomgyu said, “Our friends are literally the greenest flags to walk in South Korea, if little Y/n will be safe with anyone, it will be them.”

“That is true,” Soobin pondered, but you rolled your eyes at the both of them deciding on your weekend’s fate for you.

“Exactly! I don’t know why you never let Y/n come with us,” Beomgyu complained.

Soobin scoffed. “Why do you care so much?”

Your ears burned when Beomgyu stayed quiet at that, not really knowing what to say. Instead, you turned back towards your yogurt and took another mouthful. “Whatever, it’s fine. I don’t wanna go, anyway.”

“What? Y/n,” Beomgyu whined, but you just ignored him. Again.

Even if Soobin hadn’t refused, you would’ve had to look for a good excuse to not go for multiple reasons. And Beomgyu was not the biggest this time. You honestly planned to rot for at least a couple of days, after all the traveling yesterday and your run this morning. Truly, you’d only gone for a run because it was routine and basically instinct. But you were still jet lagged, not to mention your social battery had run fairly low after your best friend, Yunjin’s, party yesterday, and then your surprise reunions with Beomgyu. The party had been a little tiring, but it was incredibly lightweight compared to being with your brother’s best friend. To say the brunette boy was exhausting would be an understatement for you.

“Seriously? You don’t want to go,” Soobin asked, eyebrows lifted. “You always used to beg to hang out with us.”

You nodded and gestured to yourself. “I’m tired, oppa. Besides, like eomma said, I’m not thirteen anymore!”

Soobin looked at your attire once again and mocked, “You sure about that?”

You kicked the crap out of his shin under the table as he cackled.

“You’re adopted,” you growled, making Soobin laugh even harder at you. “You’re not funny, and you’re not cute. I hope you trip over the sidewalk and that your favorite anime character dies–oh wait, he already did.”

Soobin’s jaw dropped. “You bitch–”

This time, it was Beomgyu who roared with laughter as you stood up and placed your yogurt bowl in the sink. After putting all of the food away, you went to stand next time your mom and cling onto her.

She shook her head at the both of you as she wrapped her arms around you as well. “I have to say, even though I love the peace and quiet, I did miss hearing the creative insults you two would throw at each other.”

You tried to hide your smile at that, while Soobin continued grumbling into his cereal. Another thing you had missed: your brother. Your age gap wasn’t very wide and the both of you had many things in common growing up. Though you’d always been close, the both of you had grown a lot closer while in high school. No one had known you better than he had, and the same vice versa, besides maybe Beomgyu. It had honestly broken his heart when you decided to study abroad and leave for four years, but the two of you stayed in contact with random facetimes and his many visits. You would say you stayed in better contact with him than you had anyone else.

“I know you missed your sister too, Soobin,” your mom cooed, causing your brother’s nose to twitch.

He gave a big sigh, “Whatever. Come, don’t come–your choice whether you want to or not.”

Your eyes widened a bit at the yield. Despite all those embarrassing years of begging to hang out with him and his friends, Soobin was adamant on the both of you not mixing friend groups. You knew all of his friends in high school since you passed each other in the halls everyday, but Soobin remained stubborn that you couldn’t join his friends when they went out. It always confused you since his friends were a bunch of angels, but your mom said Soobin was just too protective when it came to you. This never made sense to you, but your parents would always take his side on it. To see your mom voice her opinion against his and your brother finally giving in was a bit of a shock. Maybe you weren’t the only one who had changed a little over the past four years.

“Come on, Y/n, it’ll be fun,” tried Beomgyu.

He turned in his seat to face you and your mom, giving you those famous puppy eyes you’ve recently started to really dislike.

You turned your head away stubbornly, but your mom wasn’t quite done either.

“You should go, bean,” she said, petting the top of your head. “It’ll be like ‘healing your inner child’, or something.”

Your eyebrows raised as you faced your mother. “Who taught you that phrase?”

“Yunjin-ah. I called to congratulate her on graduating the other week,” she supplied, making you roll your eyes at the mention of your childhood best friend.

Of course she did, you mentally laughed.

“Look, I understand you’re tired, but it’s only Tuesday! The boys don’t come in until this weekend, you have plenty of time to rest,” she continued.

It honestly surprised you how much your mom was pushing you. She typically didn’t push you to do much of anything besides clean up. To see her have an actual opinion on it and pursue it against you made you think for a second.

“What, is IU supposed to be there, or something?”

“Huh?” your mom asked, thoroughly confused.

“I mean, there’s gotta be another reason as to why you want me to go so bad.”

Your mom laughed before pinching your ear lovingly, making you squirm away from her. “Sorry I want you to have fun while you’re at home!”

Shrugging your shoulders, you relented. “Fine, because you guys are so desperate–”

“YES!”

Beomgyu cheered as he suddenly stood up from his seat. He clutched the mug your mom gave him in one hand before using the other to give her a one-armed hug and kissed her on the cheek. Your mother laughed as he sang, “Mrs. Choi, I owe you the world!”

Soobin rolled his eyes so harshly it made you stifle a laugh.

“Stop rizzing up my mother, you loser,” he groaned, before getting up to put his bowl and breakfast away. “Let’s just go finish this stupid grill before I ghost you and leave you to build it yourself.”

Beomgyu’s mood didn’t deflate at your brother’s negativity and instead picked up the other mug as well, to bring with them. “Thanks for the coffee, Mrs. Choi! I’ll make sure to bring it back later!”

“Oppa can bring it back,” you reasoned.

“That’s what I just said,” Beomgyu said, a bit of mischief in his tone.

You deadpanned him, but his grin didn’t shift.

“See you later, little Y/n.” And the bastard sauntered away, carrying both mugs for him and your brother who looked like he was going to need it more than anything to get through the rest of the morning.

“Is it too late to back out?” you asked your mom, the fake smile on your face contradicting your serious tone.

Your mother hummed as she studied the view from the window on the side of your house that showed Beomgyu and Soobin on his front lawn, before moving back towards you.

“I have to say, that is probably the happiest I’ve seen him since you left,” she said softly, making the fake smile melt off of your face. “You don’t actually have to go; like I said, you’re old enough to make your own choices. But I think it’d be really good for you to. And if not for you, at least it would be for him.”

You knew your confusion was evident on your face by the knowing smile that crept onto hers.

“Just give it a shot, bean. Besides, I think you’ll really like Soobin’s friends. They’re the sweetest boys you could ever meet.”

–> next <–

[misslaevna]

A little rant about episode 11

Just finished watching episode 11, and to be honest I am so, so disappointed. I'm not one to complain openly about something, but right now I feel like it's time to.

Spoilers below, also tw: personal opinion, if you can't take that, please do not read this.

Also I'd like to state that I like bsd. I love bsd, I wouldn't have a blog and a tiktok account dedicated to the series if I didn't - this isn't to hate on the series nor on Asagiri, just my two cents regarding the plot.

I have voiced my concerns to friends and mainly on discord how the current direction of the manga and the plot worries me, and I am beyond stunned that my biggest fear actually came true.

All the 'Fyodor is my comfort character' personal stuff aside, I feel like since the prison break arc started, the quality of the writing and the plot hit an all time low.

From my perspective, we got this huge buildup about Fyodor being this absolutely genius of a character. He is smart, he accounts for every possibility and there is no detail that he could possibly miss.

On the other hand, we have Dazai, who is, well, just as smart and perceptive as Fyodor.

So, we have two very smart characters up against each other, which I get why is challenging from a writing perspective, however (especially) since the intrudction of Time Cat Lady, I feel like the writing went from a carefully and logically built up plot to throwing in deus ex machinas and a looot of explanations afterwards to conveniently give the upper hand to Dazai.

I have no problem with Fyodor dying and Dazai emerging as winner (actually I kind of do because I would've loved to see the Agency or Atsushi or Ranpo take him down, but what else could have possibly happened anyways? Dazai is a fan favourite, we don't kill the money machine), however I have a bone to pick with the execution.

I think I would've loved to see a more carefully constructed plot where I can actually root for characters and actually worry for them. Asagiri pulled way too many 'oh they look dead but oh wait actually this and that happened which the reader wasn't aware of so they're not dead' shenanigas to the point where, in my opinion, as readers we simply just couldn't take any major character 'death' seriously - they'll somehow be resurrected anyways or it's gonna eventually be revealed that they weren't even dead to begin with.

And this was the case with Dazai and Chuuya here as well. To me this feels more like trying to put out a fire because of being cornered and having created characters so smart that they prove to be too difficult to write (at least in a pace fast enough for monthly chapter releases?) than actually putting effort into the plot.

All the 'well actually Chuuya wasn't even a vampire' bullshit to me was just way too fucking convenient. I'm happy that Chuuya is alive and well, but this too just served as a convenient plot point to give Dazai the upper hand while dumbing Fyodor significantly down.

I'm sorry but I didn't interpret Fyodor's character so careless (especially for someone who's very sensitive about his physical health) as to not take the antidote as soon as he got out. I didn't get to know Fyodor who would just fall for that trick Dazai pulled.

I really feel like we missed out a LOT on Fyodor with no backstory or whatsoever provided. His character stayed shallow and empty, and I'm actually really mad at Asagiri about this because he was supposed to be this very dangerous and complex villain but I feel like what we were teased with was just not delivered.

I really hope we get a more refined manga ending or that this will be better executed in the upcoming chapters.

Once again, I'm not mad about Fyodor dying, I'm rather disappointed by the way it was delivered. It feels rushed, it feels empty and it didn't live up to my expectations at all.

[draco-dormiens]

THE STRANGEST OF PLACES - Chapter Eight

draco x fem!ravenclaw reader / postwar au series

warnings: none that i know of :)

wc: 3381

masterlist

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Chapter Eight - The Astronomy Tower

You made a pact that night to see each other more. The two of you made an agreement that twice a week you would meet in the Astronomy tower, and for the last two weeks you had been doing just that. One night he bought his set of wizard chess, and you learnt that Draco's competitiveness was off the charts, so much so he got in a strop each time you won. Another night he helped you with your History of Magic essay and you bonded over how much of a bore professor Binns was. Draco was good with words when it came to writing them, which uncovered something else about him: he could write what he couldn't say. He'd spent so long accepting others' opinions and forcing them to be his own that he'd lost the ability to speak how he feels, but in writing, he could go on and on about anything he was passionate about. You suggested to him that if he didn't know how to say it, then he should write it down for you, and that way you could understand him more. It took a day or so, but he came back with a written note that said 'I think that's a good idea'.

By the fourth week of term, you were getting along better than ever. Draco would pass you notes after classes, asking if you wanted to meet earlier or if you were free an extra day. He found it a lot easier than asking you outright, and you'd come to love his little notes. Hermione still hadn't said a thing, even though at this point she had most definitely seen him passing pieces of paper to you. It wasn't until later that week, on the Thursday, the same night you were going up to the Astronomy tower, that she said something.

"You seem to get along with Malfoy these days."

You stopped mid-sentence of your book, glancing across the bed at her. She was busy reading her own book on the end of your bed, something you did together often. The silence you shared whilst reading was something that marked your friendship, as it was never awkward. If anything, it was peaceful.

"What do you mean?" you play dumb, and she sighs, slotting her bookmark between the pages.

"I've seen how he is with you," she raises an eyebrow, "passing notes, hugging, what's going on? Are you seeing each other?"

"Huh?" you sound, eyes widening and chest tightening, "no, not at all, we're just friends. We sort of got along during the potions project and he stuck around."

She gives you a knowing look, a small, cheeky smile on her face.

"He just, stuck around, did he?" she presses playfully, "doesn't sound much like Malfoy."

You feel your cheeks getting hotter, shutting your book without marking the page because Hermione was looking at you with such a mischievous glint in her eye, and sat up straight.

"Draco and I are just friends," you state simply, but you're rambling, and she notices how you're more so telling yourself than you are her, "he's trying to change, and I can appreciate that, and I enjoy spending time with him, and I think, or more so, hope, he likes spending time with me, too."

Hermione can't hold it anymore. She laughs breathlessly at your flustered expression, and even more so when you glare at her. You allow her to get over whatever is so amusing, and then cross your arms in frustration.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," she says, wiping a tear from her eye, "I've just never seen you so bothered about a boy before, and it's Malfoy, I just never imagined."

"I am not bothered," you protest, "the time we spend together is strictly platonic."

"If you say so," she waves her hands, "but even if it wasn't, it wouldn't matter, you know."

She offers you a reassuring smile, one that says she's not one bit fussed about it, and that you should just be open and honest, because she's your friend, and she loves you. You calm down a bit, the thudding of your heart slowing and shoulders relaxing. If you were to be honest, you didn't know how you felt about it. It had all happened so fast, and now you were spending frequent time with one another, and it was fun. You looked forward to it, to seeing him, but your feelings were indecipherable and mixed up. All you knew is that you liked being with him.

"Sometimes I feel nervous around him," you admit, "and then other times I feel really comfortable. I don't know what to think at this point."

"Does it really matter?" she questions, "he's just a guy. I mean yeah, he's Malfoy, but I can imagine he has some desirable qualities."

"He has many," you find yourself saying, and her smile grows wider, "he's actually really clever, and sensitive, and I've learnt so much about him and I'm talking too much aren't I?"

Hermione giggles, and shuffles across the bed to sit next to you.

"You want to know what I think?" she asks, and you nod, "I think you should just enjoy whatever you have right now. There's nothing that says you need to make it more than what it is, so just relax. I think we all deserve to have some fun, don't you?"

A smile curls at your lips, and you laugh, dropping your head to her shoulder.

"Merlin, what has the world come to." You mutter, and she chuckles.

"If you had said that over Christmas, you'd be playing buddies with Malfoy I wouldn't have believed you," she jokes, "but seriously, do what makes you happy. Kiss him for all I care."

"Kiss him?" you repeated loudly, shooting up like a deer in the headlights, "are you serious?"

She laughs even harder.

"I'm not saying you have to," she says through her laughter, "I was kidding."

You join in, both of you now belly laughing and holding hands. Hermione truly was an expectational friend, and in that moment, you thanked your lucky stars that she was still around to keep you sane.

__________________________

"That one right there is the Ursa Major, but most people call it the Big Dipper," Draco tells you, bottle of beer in his hand as the other points towards the sky, "and that one is mine. Draco, which just means Dragon in Latin."

You're looking where he's pointing, but you're also looking at him, because he's so passionate about the stars that it warms your heart. After Hermione left, you carried a blanket up to the Astronomy tower, and as if he'd read your mind, he bought along beer and snacks. Three beers in he'd started talking about how much he loves astrology, and for the last half an hour or so he'd been showing you the constellations in the sky tonight. It wasn't a usual thing for Draco to share his interests with someone, but you always displayed so much enthusiasm, even if you didn't understand it. He really liked that about you, it made him want to show you things. So, there you both sat, blanket over your laps as you listened and sipped beer.

"I never clocked you were named after a constellation," you said, and he looks down at you curled under your side of the blanket, "that's so cool."

"You think?" he asks, "my mother's side of the family have a tradition with names like mine. My aunt Bella was named after a star, and my mother's name Narcissa is from Greek mythology."

"How interesting," you breathe, and you meant it, he could tell, "I love that your mother kept that tradition going. Do you think you will when you have children?"

He goes quiet for a moment and looks back at the sky, knitting his eyebrows together.

"I haven't really thought about it," he mumbles.

"Children and marriage are far away," you tell him, shuffling under the blanket, "so it's not like you need to think about it right now."

He laughs sadly, and you give him a questioning look.

"Mother is rather fixated on marriage," he said, "so I don't have any choice but to think about it, unfortunately."

"She wants you to get married?"

"As soon as possible," he sighs deeply, "she keeps introducing me to these random girls, and each of them have as much personality as I can fit in my little finger."

You go back to looking out into the night, fiddling with the label on your bottle. Your parents had never pushed you to meet someone, or marry them, for that matter, so you couldn't imagine having that kind of pressure. Then you start thinking how beautiful these girls probably are, and what he said to you back at the manor starts playing on your mind. Too bookish, he said. If he turns down women his mother picks for him, then he was possibly being nice when he said that to you.

"What kind of girl do you want?" you find yourself asking him. He turns a little to face you properly.

"Why do you ask?"

"You say these girls your mother picks have no personality," you gesture with your free hand, "so, if they don't fit the bill, who would?"

Draco takes his time to answer. His eyes flicker over your face, and his expression tells you he's thinking hard about that question. You gaze back at his sharp features and glistening eyes, such a strikingly blue-grey colour, and think how beautiful this boy really is. He's tall, slim but well built, with blonde hair and a handsome face. He's smart, and when he knows you well enough, his emotional intelligence shines. Maybe you did like him, a little bit more than you could stomach.

"I don't really know," he begins to say, still looking directly at you, and it's starting to make you feel nervous, "I've only been with girls I find physically attractive."

You blink and raise your eyebrows at him, giving him a scrutinising look. Like his mother does.

"What?"

"Does that sound bad?" he grimaces. Not knowing what else to say, you laugh.

"Draco," you say, "are you telling me you've only ever gone on looks?"

"I haven't cared about anything else," he shrugs, and he's being deadly serious, "personality wasn't exactly needed for what we were doing-"

"Okay," you stop him, holding your hand up, "stop right there, Malfoy. I do not want to hear about that area of your life, thank you."

For a moment you both just look at each other, and then burst out laughing. He's genuinely laughing as well, hand on his stomach and head against the wall behind you. As you calm down, you look across at him and it makes you feel so good to see him like this. Carefree, relaxed, happy. He's so pretty when he laughs, too.

"I like it when you laugh," you say out loud, and his laughter comes to a holt, as the mortifying realisation comes that you just said that to him. You wave a dismissive hand and look away from him, "that was weird, I'm sorry."

"It wasn't weird," he says, in such a nice way that it makes you feel even worse, and then he's shuffling on the spot and clearing his throat, "I, uh, like it when you laugh too."

You look at him from the corner of your eye and see that he's ripping the label from the bottle and keeping his eyes firmly on what he was doing. Is he blushing? You couldn't really tell with the lighting, but he suddenly seems inside himself. You tuck some hair behind your ear.

"Hey, Draco," you say, and he glances up at you, "I'm glad were hanging out together."

His cheeks are certainly deeper in colour, and he doesn't know where to look or what to do with his hands or any of him really. He just runs a hand through his hair and ruffles it slightly.

"Same here," he mutters, looking towards the ground, "I feel better with you around."

That makes you grin like an idiot. You like him. Oh Christ, you like him.

"It's so strange to think that a few weeks ago we were bickering like siblings," you say, smiling at him. He smiles back, moving a little closer, and you automatically lean against his arm.

"You know at the weekend," he said quietly, "do you want to go out in Hogsmeade?"

For a second you think he's asking you on a date, and your mind starts racing, until he says, "just go and get a beer or something, you know, as friends?"

Friends. What did that even mean? Here you were, huddled under a blanket in the Astronomy tower. Is that what friends do? He had no idea. Truth was, Draco had never liked a girl enough to date them. He didn't even know what a crush felt like, but he knew that you made him feel good, and that he thought you were attractive, with a wicked sense of humour and a kind, compassionate heart. Is that a crush? How would he even know? So many questions flooded his head, but he never said a word. But then you smile and say, "sure, that sounds lovely," and he can't help but feel absolutely elated.

"I'll pick you up outside your dorm, around seven like usual?" he asks.

"Seven is good," you agree, and he's doing that thing again when his eyes travel the expanse of your face and then back to meet yours. You narrow your eyes, "you always do that."

"Do what?"

"Look at me like that," you softly, "as if you're memorising how I look."

"Maybe I am," he mutters. Was that a confession? Is that what he's doing? It is what he's doing, but did he really want you to know that? He just thinks you're pretty, is that not what you do when you think someone is pretty? He starts spiralling, and you can see it in his eyes, "forget I said that. I have alcohol in me right now."

"Right," you breathe, taking your eyes off him, "of course."

"Wait, that was a shitty thing to say," he rushes out, fumbling to make it right, "I'm just kind of drunk."

"It's fine," you wave a dismissive hand, "don't worry about it."

"No," he says passionately, and your head snaps in his direction, "it's not fine, because I didn't mean it like that. You're beautiful, and you should know that. Inside and out."

It fell silent, but it was possibly the loudest silence you'd ever heard. He's breathing heavily from how frustrated he'd just gotten, and your head is spinning and heart thundering against your ribcage.

"What did you just say?"

"You heard me," he mumbles, staring at the ground, "don't make me repeat it."

"So I'm beautiful but too bookish?"

"Just forget about that, alright?" he snaps quietly, "I was just being dumb. You're not bookish, you're really fucking smart. There's a difference."

The smile on your face gets so big that your cheeks start to hurt, and you lean against his shoulder and nuzzle closer to him. He doesn't go stiff like he usually does, in fact he seems to melt into it, resting his head on top of yours.

"Thank you for that," you whisper to him.

He just huffs.

"Don't get used to it," he whispers back, but you know he's just feeling bruised because he outed some real feelings to you. You think it's sweet, how irritable he is when things get serious. After a while, you reach over and take his hand, lacing your fingers with his like you had done before. He doesn't stop you; he welcomes it. You sink deeper into him, sighing in contentment. Whatever this relationship of yours was, it was turning into something beautifully vulnerable. __________________________

When Friday evening rolls around, Draco's last class seemed to run on forever. He doesn't share this one with you, unfortunately. Retaking Divination felt like a good idea when choosing his subjects, but he was quickly coming to realise that Trelawney really is just a daft old bat as he packs up his things and leaves. He wishes he had your company to look forward to, but tonight is your study date with Granger. Typical that it was her taking your time away from him. He trudges back to his dorm, ready to sink into bed and forget the world for a while, when he hears the familiar tone of Professor McGonagall calling him down the corridor.

"Mr Malfoy," her voice rings out, and he turns to see her walking towards him, "I take it you have a few moments to spare?"

"I suppose so, professor," he answers, "what can I do for you?"

"Well, not so much me," she says, looking down her nose at him, "your mother is currently in my office and wishes to speak with you."

Mother. His mind starts racing. What could she possibly want during a school term? She never bothers him usually, only the odd letter. McGonagall could see he was beginning to worry, and she offered a comforting smile.

"I'm sure it's nothing serious," she said softly, "the sooner you see her, the sooner you can get back to your plans for this evening."

He nods in agreement, and begins to follow McGonagall to her office, previously the office of Professor Dumbledore. It's a long walk from where he was, but with all the panicked thinking he was doing it went by rather fast. McGonagall mutters the password, and the stairs begin to curl around to mighty stone eagle. He follows her up the steps, and she waves her wand to open the grand door to the headmistress's office. Draco enters cautiously, Narcissa turning to see him, smiling as he walks to stand a good distance away from her. She's holding a pair of leather gloves in her hand, a small black handbag on her arm. As always, she's dressed in high fashion, with bold red lipstick and her hair in a tight bun.

"Mother," he greets her.

"I shall leave you both in peace," McGonagall says promptly, "take all the time that you need."

She then exits, the large door shutting behind her with a thud.

"Draco," Narcissa says, "how nice to see you, my dear."

"Why are you here?" he asks outright, and Narcissa's smile begins to falter.

"Not the nicest way to greet your mother, Draco," she comments, walking to close the gap slightly between them. He's eyeing her cautiously, "I'm here to pass on some news."

"Such as?"

"I have an outing planned for you," her smile returns, "Your father and I had the pleasure of dining with the Greengrass family last weekend, and Astoria's mother is keen on you. So, I took the liberty in sorting a private luncheon in Hogsmeade this Sunday."

"For our families?" he knits his eyebrows together and gets a funny feeling in his stomach when his mother shakes her head.

"Just the two of you," Narcissa said, "you should try to get to know her better, Draco."

"I've already told you, mother," Draco stresses, "I don't have any desire to know her that way."

"That is beside the point, Draco," his mother says sternly, "she is a good fit for you, and you should be thankful that such a prestigious family has interest, especially since-"

"Our family name is ruined?"

Narcissa takes a sharp intake of breath, mortified at her son's outburst. Her expression becomes one of fury, and she takes an intimidating step towards him.

"Now, you listen to me," she says threateningly, her voice low and scarily calm, "if you ever speak to me like that again, I will pull you out of this school and marry you off to the next woman I lay my eyes on, are we clear?"

Draco gulps. He wasn't exactly scared of his mother, not like he was his father, but he knew as well anybody, that Narcissa meant what she said.

"Yes, mother," he mutters. Narcissa smiles at him again.

"Good, I don't wish to fight with you, my dear," her voice changes, now soft and light, "we only want the absolute best for you, and we believe finding a suitable wife will benefit in the future. Now, be a darling and attend this lunch for me. Can you do that, Draco?"

He nods, wordlessly accepting it, and his mother places a kiss to his cheek before slipping on her gloves. The only thing he feels right now is a blistering anger.

"I'll owl over the details," she goes on to say, making her way towards the door McGonagall left through, "and make sure to wear something nice, alright?"

disclaimer: i do not own hp or any of the characters in this story

dividers from: @firefly-graphics & @happy-ash-edits

[eddiesguitarskills]

When We Were Young

Part 5

Ex bf Eddie Munson X fem reader

Other parts 1. 2. 3. 4. 5. 6.

Intro: 5 years have past since you packed up and left behind Hawkins. Well not all of it, as the people you met there are still a huge part of your life. But it's been 5 years since you had set a foot in the small town, 5 years since you left him.And now after all that time you were back.

Warning: angst, language, mentions of suicide, miscarriages, self harm, mental health.Arguments. Mentions of break ups. Female identity reader. Use of y/n

Bold parts are flashbacks

Word Count: 4.3 k

A/n: please only read if you are in a good place, I wouldn't want this story to trigger or hurt anyone. This took a while to write again, I just don’t want to rush it. Sorry for the wait hope you enjoy. Buckle in for this rollercoaster of a chapter

Not prove read

The first week of school had been hectic, to say the least, you had expected that. But it genuinely felt like you haven't been able to sit down once, you thought by having all your lesson prepared there wouldn't be too much work other than classes. However, you wanted to make good connections at your new place of work. Especially since a lot of the teachers at the school were there when you were a teenager, you felt like they still saw you as a kid not ready for this responsibility.

Steve fit in so well, he was always better with older people. It was easier for him he was a charmer. You on the other hand were better with kids/teenagers they were easier to read. Your wanting to fit in had led you to have multiple jobs, you felt like this was a test from the other teachers, like a form of hazing so you just said yes and went along with it. You helped organise books in the library. Ran after-school detention. Had to watch the canteen at lunchtime. You were on a permanent coffee run. You had even fallen into the trap of helping to repaint a wall with the school janitor. You were honestly surprised you had any time to teach in between everything you were doing.

Steve had told you “you don't need to do that to fit in. You'll find your place you always do”. But you didn't know how long that might take so you went along with it. It felt worth it when you were invited to drink after school at the local bar on Friday. You knew Steve didn't go to these things which made you nervous, but you knew you would have to start to exist in this town without your crutch.

Which is why you were now standing arm-to-arm with your new colleagues in a packed Hideout. It had improved since the last time you had been there. However despite its new paint, new artwork on the walls. Even with a new sign with a new name, Waterdeep, It still felt the same. The exact same as the night you and Eddie properly met. Nothing had changed. While listening to your colleagues share memories, ignoring your existence, you look around to see what was still there since you last came. You wonder if your’s and Eddie’s initials would still be carved on the table near the toilets. Most people avoided that table so as a teenager in love you thought this would be the best spot to leave the mark of your love.

Sweat dripping from every inch of his body, Eddie jumps from the small stage guitar still strapped to him, over to you. He grabs your cheeks and kisses you deeply. You were glad to be held because you think you would have fallen if not. You had already gone weak at the knees tonight when you heard Eddie’s new song dedicated to you, singing about you being the one. “Did you like it?” You nod your head. “Better than anything I’ve ever heard. Did you mean it?”. Eddie smiles “as I said in the song I don’t care if people think I’m young, and dumb. I know one thing, you are the one I will love for the rest of time”. Heat starts to rise to your cheeks. “When did you get so soft?” He grabs your ass from under your skirts. “Maybe it’s when I saw your rocking body” he joked because he loved you for more than that. But Jesus he would happily worship your body every day. That would be the only religion he would need.

You smacked his chest playfully, then dragged him to where you were sitting. He placed you on his lap in the booth at the table, kissing your ear and your neck. He couldn’t keep his hands off you. You giggled but could also feel more than butterflies starting to rise in your body. You took his hand from your waist and pulled it under the table “eager” he said not understanding that you weren’t trying to ‘play’ in the bar. He put his hand on your leg running up and down it. “Eddie, I didn’t mean that”. He looked glum but quickly removed his hand not wanting to make you uncomfortable. “At least not here at least”. You spoke so only he could hear you. You pulled his hand under the table again and let him feel it. He felt the outline of both your initials carved into the wood. He smiled. “So no matter where we go our mark will always be on the first place we met”. He pulled you in for another kiss, then moved you off his lap. Reaching into his pocket. “In that case, it has to be someone less hidden than under the table. I think our love at least deserves the top of it”. It was silly but I’m that moment it felt like the most romantic thing. At that time everything Eddie did felt like the most romantic thing to ever happen.

You couldn't stop staring at the table, wondering if it was still there. That might be the only proof you have that your love was real. That you were happy together, that at one point he loved you. “What world have you travelled off to now?” You spun around to the sound of the low gravelly voice. You should have put two and two together and realised if Eddie was to own any bar of course it would be this one. It held so many memories for him. It was of his safe places where he could completely be himself. Maybe it wasn't the original dream for him but it made so much sense. It was like this job was always meant for him. You were happy for him.

Eddie had not expected to see you here. Despite how he was acting he was nervous but strangely happy to see you. This could be his only chance to talk to you. He thought you might avoid him for the rest of his life for how he treated you last time you had spoke. Sure you had said some things and you had still hurt him, but hearing about the breakdown made him feel guilty. He felt like the guilt was eating him alive or maybe it was the wondering that was doing that, (if he saw the signs he could have helped?). The problem is when he had these internal battles in his head he always stubbornly ended up with the same thought, that you left him before he had a chance to fix it. Part of him wanted to apologize but he didn't know 100% what for and he was sure he wasn't supposed to know about what happened. Dustin said it wasn't public knowledge, only Steve was allowed to know. It was always Steve. Even now he felt jealous that you always completely let Steve into your world and he had only got a chance to dip his foot in. Even worse now he was out of it altogether.

He was so nervous that he thought about not talking to you, and hiding in the back until you left. That would be pathetic he thought, but he was tempted. That was until he watched you more intensively and noticed how the people you were with were ignoring you completely but then again you weren't trying with them. It looked like you had given up on interacting, he couldn't blame you he recognize many of the faces of his old teacher and he wouldn't want to talk to them either. But this was your new job, you need to try with them. You couldn't shut down. It wasn’t his responsibility to make you feel less lonely or at ease but he didn’t want have something else to feel guilty about. Maybe he couldn't trust you with his heart but he could give you an olive branch.

He noticed you still hadn't said anything and had gone back to daydreaming, he used to think you had the cutest face when you went into a trance. You still did. He almost didn't want to break you from it again, but the longer you were there the more he panicked. He remembers what you said about this place at the Harrington’s, saying it wasn't his dream like he was a failure. Were you judging him? He wanted to put on a front like he didn't care what you thought, but he couldn't stop thinking about it.

“Welcome to my almost dream” you both cringed at his words. “It looks good”. You didn't know what to say. You wanted to tell him you were proud, but it wasn't your place anymore. He hoped you meant that. Those few words were something he didn't know he needed until he heard them from your mouth. “The usual?” he smiled. You were a creature of habit, but maybe you had changed he thought. Maybe this was a small test to find out what was the Same and what was new about you. Every time he remembered you drinking, you would have a vodka and coke. Only half a shot of vodka though. It always felt like the safest drink. “Just a coke. I can't drink anymore”. Why did you tell him that? Can't. The word made him thinking you not drinking wasn’t by choice. He wanted to ask. The word don't and can't are very different but it wasn't his place anymore. “Coming right up”.

He pours a coke from the tap and slides it over to you. “How much?” he shakes his head. “Call it mates rates” he uses a stupid British accent to impersonate you. He regrets it instantly when you don't laugh or smile. How could you smile when you were face to face with the fact that the old Eddie was still in there? The one you loved. Did he flirt with all the customers? Was he just being nice? Was there more to it? Did he notice you looking glum and was trying to cheer you up? Why would he care?

It made sense if you were being rational about it, there was nothing more to it then the fact that he couldn't be cruel like usual in front of the customers. He had to be pretend to be nice but that didn’t stop your heart from stupidly beating slight faster. You knew the old Eddie would unfortunately for you never be real again. A glimpse was all it would ever be, he would slip back to the Eddie who hated you on your next meeting. The thought hurt more than you would like to admit. “I didn't know we were friends” you mutter. It sounded like a dig, you didn't exactly mean it to, but it was a fact.

Silence followed after your statement, you assumed with how busy the bar was, Eddie would use this as his excuse to leave. He had been civil enough for the evening he could go, but he stayed. Thinking about what to say next. Sure you were right, you weren't exactly friends, but you weren't strangers, and given the new information he knew about you, he couldn't bring himself to hate you. So where did that leave you two? The silence was killing you, it felt like all the noise from the bar had disappeared and the only sound you could hear was the gears turning in his head.

You look around the room for anything to mention to stop whatever this was. You see the stage, with a drum set at the back and a microphone. “Do you still play?” He was very thankful for your change of topic and even more thankful you were still talking to him. He wanted to enjoy these few moments with you. He shakes his head. Your stomach sank. You hated that, he was good. Maybe he wasn't amazing enough to break out of the state, but he was still good. You used to love singing with him in his trailer while he played the guitar. You could have never imagined he would have given up something that made him so happy. You wondered what other happiness he had deprived himself of. “Why?” He shrugs his shoulders and mutters “because it made me think of you”. You shouldn't have been able to hear him with how low he spoke, especially with how loud the atmosphere was but he was all you were focused on right now and his words felt like another knife being twisted in you.

It showed you that no matter how hard he pretends to be nice or civil with you, he still looks down on you and blames all his down comings on you. “Oh, so it's my fault”. God he hoped you hadn't even heard it and now you thought he was insulting you. Eddie Munson could not win with you, he ran his hand through his hair. Keep calm, you are doing so well. She is just trying to get a raise out of you he told himself. “That’s not what I meant sweetheart,” he says walking off to the other end of the bar to help the other bartenders. Your heart was beating so fast you were sure you were having a heart attack. You guessed it could be a panic attack but it didn't feel like that. Could it be... No, you shake your head of course not.

“ I see some things never change” you turn around to see Mrs O’donald your old teacher giggling into her chardonnay. “You two were always joined at the hip, I hope he doesn't get you into trouble anymore. I always thought you could do better than him” she slurred her words. It was weird seeing someone who used to be your teacher and who was now your colleague drunk. She always had an issue with Eddie, you always thought it was people like her that was at fault for his failures. Sure he could have put more effort in but it's hard to do that when the people who are supposed to teach you don't even have your back. That's part of the reason you wanted to be a teacher to help kids like Eddie, show they can do it and are worth it. But to hear her still look down on him, pissed you off. You smiled the fakest smile and grabbed your coke off the bar downing it. “Looks like he's doing pretty good to me. I guess you and everyone else were wrong about him. In fact he did all this without your help” with that you left.

The next morning you woke up glad for it to be a Saturday, it had dawned on you what you had said. You were better than that, you could usually bite your tongue. You had worked so hard to fit in and now you had gone against one of the top dogs at school, you hoped it was just your anxiety making you worry and school would be fine. You should have kept your mouth shut. After everything he had done to you, you were still defending him. You felt like a fool. So like a fool, you spend the rest of the weekend in bed hardly eating, walling in self-pity. Ignoring the phone.

As soon as Monday came around you knew you couldn't avoid the world anymore. Maybe it wasn't as big of a deal as you were making it. You hoped it had been forgotten about. Whatever the case you needed to sort out your thoughts, you couldn't teach like this. You were thankful for the first period being free. You sat at the desk eating a cereal bar making sure the scripts from Romeo and Juliet were ready for your next lesson with the juniors. You heard a tap on the door, “come in”.

Steve looked at you and shook his head. “So you are alive then” you want to roll your eyes at him, but you hate to think he was worrying about you all weekend. After what happened you knew better than to just shut out the world or at least better than to shut out Steve. “I'm sorry it was a weird weekend”. He gulped worried that something bad had happened, he knew he should have just come around to your house to check on you. “Weird like how everyone is saying you and Eddie are dating or did something else happen?” He decides to mix a joke in about the rumours in the staff room to disguise his worry. He knows you and Eddie had been seen talking on Friday. He hoped it was better than the last time you were in a room together. He hoped Eddie wasn’t to blame for you shutting Steve out all weekend.

You groan and slam your head on the desk. You didn't think that's the gossip that would be spread. You didn't want to have your name linked to Eddie anymore. “Jesus I should have kept my mouth shut, you can't talk to anyone in this town without it being news. All I did was defend him one time”. Steve looked at you confused “wait so you spoke to him, didn’t kill each other. Then defended him. Are you okay?”. You fake laugh. “seriously though I don't know if it's a good idea for you two to be friends, I don't want you to get hurt again”. The school bell rang “I get it, dad, now you better go I have class”.

Eddie had also had a weird weekend but he didn't have the chance to stay inside all weekend like you. He had to go to work. He wishes he hadn’t overheard you standing up for him. It played over and over in his head. Your being back in town had caused more questions. Nothing made sense. He assumed you hated him or didn't like him anymore so you left but why would you stand up for someone you didn't care about? He guessed you were just being nice but it felt like more than that. Before he even had a chance to ask you or thank you, you had left.

He had Monday off work, so he decided this would be his day to go wallow and figure out what this all meant. As soon as one pm hit, he got a call from Dustin so he had to postpone his wallowing. He was thankful for his friend's constant chatter it was a nice distraction from thinking about you. About two hours after that the doorbell rang to signal someone was at his door. Maybe it was you. He had gone a full two hours without thinking about you and now as soon as his brain had a chance to drift to you, it did. It made no sense either why you would be at the door, you didn’t even know where he lived anymore. Even if it was you, what you be here for? What would you even talk about? It made no sense to want you here, but he couldn’t control his thoughts. All rationality had him left since you came back.

He opened the door to reveal Sarah with food from his favourite diner in her hand. With the tight white dress she was wearing that left nothing to imagination he knew exactly what she was after and it wasn’t the food. So he pushed the weird thoughts he was having about you to the back of his mind and took Sarah up on her offer. He didn’t feel like he was using her, he was always upfront about their relationship. He had told her he couldn’t date anybody, and she agreed, saying she only wanted fun. So as long as it didn’t affect work and both knew they could stop this whenever. It felt nice to have an outlet to forget without strings attracted.

Eddie had help Sarah get off a few times but when she tried to return the favour, they were having issues. Eddie was so stressed and thoughts were still consumed with you that he could only get a semi at most. This had never happened before, Sarah felt embarrassed and Eddie felt mortified. Especially since you had already ruined the hope of him ever being in a relationship, now he couldn’t even have sex because of the thought of you. He got out a pre-rolled joint from his bedside table and began to smoke it. He hardly smoked weed anymore. At most once a month but he knew it would help him relax so hopefully he could sort his problem and try again with Sarah.

Halfway through the joint, the house phone started ringing again. He assumed it must be Dustin to finish the conversation they were having before Sarah came. He hoped talking to his friend would help him forget again, so he raced out of the room to the phone. He was about to pick up when he realised he still had the blunt in his mouth. He stubbed it out remembering his promise to Dustin to try and quit. He didn’t want to disappoint him. He then picked up the phone, “sorry I had to hang up before, but I’m free now if you wanna talk again”.

“Sorry to disappoint but I’m definitely not who you were expecting”. Eddie stopped himself from sighing, he hadn’t spoken to Steve in a few weeks. He and Steve being friends, Eddie would have never expected it, in fact, he thought when you left, him and Steve would hate each other forever. However, that’s the thing about this group they had shared trauma and would never leave a man behind. Steve followed this most out of everyone he checked in with the group at least once a week, and with Eddie being around the same age they talked a lot. They in fact grew to be good friends, even if Steve was always a little hesitant to let Eddie fully in. Not hearing from Steve for weeks was weird, but right now it felt weirder to be hearing from him.

“So I heard you and y/n spoke”. Eddie pulls the cord as far as it could stretch so he could sit down at the kitchen table. It felt like a conversation he would have to sit for, otherwise, he would pace back and forth. “Hello to you too, how was work? Great thanks for asking. Been up to much? Not really- ” Steve fake laughs. “Yeah I get it sorry, it’s just y/n is important to me”. Well, that felt like a slap to in face, he knew that. Everyone knew that. He didn’t appreciate being treated like he was dumb by someone he would have called a close friend only a few weeks ago. He hadn’t done anything wrong so why was he getting ambushed? “You two have a history, and I don’t know if it’s a good idea for you two to be friends”. Eddie's leg uncomfortable shaked under the table, “I can't win with you either I'm too mean or I'm too friendly. What do you want me to do?”

Steve tried to stutter out a response, not sure of what he was asking of Eddie. “I get that… it’s just… it’s just…she’s been through a lot”. Eddie's leg shakes more “I know which is why I’m trying to be nicer” he wished he still had the joint right now. “You didn’t care before, why do you care now? Is this some stupid plan to get revenge?”. Whenever it came to you, Steve would get over-protective, and say the most ridiculous things. Eddie had done nothing wrong this time and yet he was still getting told off. He slammed his fists on the table and stood up unable to control his legs. “Jesus if I’m such a bad guy why have you let me around your daughter? If I’m so bad why are we friends?” The insecure side of Eddie wanted a response, wanted to be told he was being dramatic that of course they were friends. Steve wanted to say that but was too stunned to speak. “Fuck I was just a placeholder. You know I wondered when she came back if I would get replaced but I should have known. Me and you were never gonna be friends. I was just a stand in. I didn’t even make you choose but you always chose her. I think you forget she didn’t just leave me, she left you too. I wonder how long until she gets sick of us again and leaves”. Eddie knew he had hit a nerve when he was met with silence. He didn’t need to say anything else but he couldn’t help himself, why not put an extra nail in the coffin of Steve and his relationship? “You act like you are her protector but you didn’t protect her from that breakdown did you?” A low blow from Eddie he knew that, but he said words that he knew would hurt Steve most.

A bang followed by mumblings of Nancy could be heard through the receiver. It didn’t take a genius to figure out that Steve had punched a hole through a wall. “Maybe you’re right maybe we could never be friends because I would never be friends with someone responsible for my best friend trying to kil” the phone hung up. Kil- what did that mean? Surely not kill? Kill what? Kill who? Yourself? No. You wouldn’t? He guessed a breakdown could lead to that. But not you. Never you. Steve was just trying to get to him. The men knew each other well, he was just using his weakness like Eddie had used Steve’s. The words meant nothing surely. Rage started filling his body, along with fear and anxiety. He needed to get it out. To curse out the world. Steve. You. Himself. He flipped the table in front of him but it wasn’t enough. So he destroyed everything in his sight but none of it was enough. None of it helped. None of it answered his questions.

A/n: I hope you enjoyed this. Yikes Steve and Eddie’s relationship has really gone sour :( I liked that I didn’t just have to write y/n and Eddie arguing/hating each-other for once.

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[prettyboysdontlookatexplosions]

hoping this isn't a ~weird request but i would love to read your takedown/opinions of the failures of TRC as someone who was also reaaaally underwhelmed with how it handled an interesting setup/cast of characters and was left feeling very blah about the whole experience, and i'm having no luck poking thru your tumblr archives if it already exists :) no pressure ofc, enjoying your opinions on the new series regardless! (i personally deleted the ebook after struggling thru the first chapter oops!)

i was going to say "you have caught me on a day when i am crazy exhausted even after sleeping 12 hours so sure why not" but tbh i think that's giving myself too much credit re: my ability to resist this particular flavor of haterade, although it provides a nice justification. disclaimer that i haven't read anything from the original series since right after the raven king came out so i don't remember it super well. but like basically the problems with the raven cycle are two-fold: (1) the first three books are not very good (2) the raven king is the dumbest and most hateful piece of shit masquerading as a novel i have had the misfortune to encounter in my life. like you have to understand i went into this series having had it pitched to me but Dumb But Fun and for the first three books i was having a good time. i was often like "lol this is stupid" but i would say equally often i was like "aw my kids :')" in particular i remember that something clicked for me with BLLB where the books didn't get better but i suddenly like legit loved and cared about the characters and was invested in their relationships in a way where the flaws jumped out a lot less and i appreciated a lot of things stief had done and i made a pynch playlist and started drafting some fic and blah blah blah. and then the raven king came out and it was just, i can't emphasize enough, the worst book in the history of the printed word.

on point the first: the books are not great. stief comes up with some decent lines (funny similes, the occasional spurt of something pretty), and one of the things i will give her is that she can definitely set an Atmosphere (although this skill seems to have gone missing for CDTH) - monmouth manufacturing and fox way both feel like places that are just a bit too interesting to be real but in a nice way. overall though i find her prose weirdly stilted and artificial and tryhard. i think at some point i called her what taylor swift would be as a novelist, back when our most recent taylor albums were red & 1989, and i more or less stand by that - "losing him was like driving a new maserati down a dead-end street" feels like something stief could write, but instead of a 3-minute country-pop song, it's 350 pages of that. also i have genuinely never encountered an author worse at plotting. there's a weird and almost baffling shapelessness to the books that is truly like nothing else i've read in a bad way. like i said this a couple days ago but i felt like it gave me a new respect for every other bad to mediocre novel i had read in my life, because apparently those authors did all have some kind of basic skillset so fundamental i hadn't appreciated it until i read one who absolutely does not. and also the thing i have said before of, every book has a million chapters about the villain who has nothing to do with anything, and every single one of those chapters is boring as absolute fuck. the whelk chapters in TRB are sort of retroactively justified by the noah reveal, which on reflection i think remains the most successful thing she's pulled off, but the others are interminable and completely without reward for the reader.

even fans of the series seem to concede that plotting is not her strong suit, and the things people tend to like her for are (1) her writing, which... sure. i don't think it is good but you do you. and if i am forcing myself to be fair i will say that at the very least she does have a distinct voice and doesn't have that horrible flat YA Novelist Affect that has taken over what i sometimes feel insane swearing used to be a much more vibrant and stylistically diverse genre at least in terms of the things that made their way to my sphere of awareness. so. fine. and then (2) her characters. and like yeah the TRC crew is cute. they're fun. i liked that gansey was kind of insufferable and the books made no attempt to pretend otherwise. i did love classic scorpio depresso bean trauma freak ronan lynch, and i loved how as the series went on he was both a snarling anger machine and an idiot teenage boy with the most embarrassing crush in the world. i liked blue's ambition and her imperfect but passionate feminism. i loved adam parrish's teeth-gritted determination.

and i did absolutely fall for the pynch of it all. ronan lynch, who could have anything he wanted, desperate for the affection of the one guy who had no patience for his bullshit! adam parrish, who saw himself as so lowly, falling for this almost ethereal creature who dreamed beautiful things! the way ronan's main hobby was wallowing in self-pity but the person he was attracted to was the guy who refused to act like it wasn't time for ronan to grow the fuck up. the way adam had such a fraught relationship with anger, his own anger and that of other people, but he saw so keenly through to who ronan really was that while ronan's anger exasperated him, it never scared him or made him feel like he had any obligation but to be his honest self. the way hard-edged ronan dreamed adam lotion for his hands and labeled it in freaking LATIN, the way tense adam started finding a new respect for ronan without ever feeling a need to become more deferential or apologetic. i mean it was good shit. it was such good shit that i really and truly believed that while she was not the greatest writer in the world, stief must have built this particular dynamic between these two people on purpose. she must have deliberately planned for their slow-burning mutual attraction and deepening care to communicate these exact things about what their value was to each other - ronan giving adam space to dream, adam tugging ronan into reality - and while i was pretty sure the last book would be dumb, because all the books were dumb and she'd thrown a lot of balls into the air that she was not gonna catch, and especially because i had the sense she was going to want a neat happy ending which meant either gansey wasn't going to die (boring) or gansey was going to die but everyone was somehow going to be okay by the end anyway (stupid), i was also like, well at least pynch are gonna get together and it's going to be this really nice culmination of both their arcs.

hahahahahahahahahahahaha

the short version of why TRK made me feel so wild with rage was that it made extremely clear that everything i had enjoyed about the books up till that point had happened 10000% by accident. pynch is a good example of this. all that stuff i talked about above, all the push-pull dynamics of them, all the stuff that made them a good ship - it turned out that none of it mattered. none of it was relevant. none of it was even worth mentioning. because none of it, actually, was on purpose. adam and ronan get together by making out, which i respect. they do not have a conversation after that happens. not like, they hook up and don't took about it right away. i mean they don't have a post-makeout conversation IN THE ENTIRE BOOK. there is no moment where either of them says or even thinks, like - why this person. which is dumb for ronan because he has been so horny about adam, but hateful for adam because he is out of ronan's league unless we're being very clear about why this is a good fit! the stuff about ronan helping adam normalize his relationship to anger, lmao. nowhere to be found. instead we get gansey telling adam, "don't hurt him." repeat: we get gansey telling adam, who tries the hardest all the time of all people ever and who is half convinced he should be in jail for having feelings, to make sure he is nice to ronan, whose ENTIRE BRAND is "huge fucking asshole all the time for no reason." because ronan is "fragile." which like, sure. he's a half-orphan [at that point] with a fucked up life whose brain tried to kill him two years ago. but adam is an 18 year old paying all his own bills who moved out of his parents' house the day his dad DEAFENED HIM IN ONE EAR, and somehow this does not grant him any kind of special dispensation for care in the ganseyverse. and this is not ever in any way contradicted or challenged or complicated or even referred to later by the text. crime!

meanwhile, ronan... [pinches nose, sighs heavily]. again i said recently that the dream thieves should have told me her hand was not steady on the steering well. because what happens in the dream thieves is ronan meets someone who is like him but bad, and learns from him, and then figures out how to be himself but good. which is a fun sexy idea for a story, but the book fucks it up because ronan is too aware at all times of what a dirtbag kavinsky is and too untempted by his wild ways. there's no real fall, so there can't be a real rise. he fucks up his best friend's car, which he knows is also his best friend's number one most prized possession on earth, and the resolution to that is: hey dude my bad i killed your car but it's okay i dreamed you a copy of it. ???????? that's like parent who runs over your cat and says it's okay because they'll take you to the pet store tomorrow logic [realized in the middle of that i stole that image from sandman sorry]. i mean, in a vacuum, i guess it's not exactly. but like: ronan doesn't address the situation by learning anything about how not to be the kind of person who destroys something of great emotional value to someone he cares about. he addresses the situation by learning how to do his superpower good. this is not emotionally satisfying fantasy writing. it's hollow and stupid. and it's extra stupid because the book's attempt at an emotional resolution later down the line is that ronan needs to... hate himself less. which he can do by... realizing he doesn't hate himself. ??????? once again: empty. unbelievable. stupid. there's no connection there to, like, "now that i hate myself less, i can and should be less of a dick to everyone all the time," much less "one way of hating myself less might be to stop doing things that make me extremely unlikable." just: he hates himself less, he's no longer alone, he can dream whatever he wants, he's cool with his big gay crush now. weak. and like it was weak for me at the time, but reading BLLB i did think: well, the hand lotion. well, the trying to dream up a soul for the dream people. well, the big hug with blue at the end. ronan is growing and changing following his experience. it's kind of a shame we don't get his POV on any of this. but we'll probably catch up with him in the next book.

and again: no. i mean, we get ronan's POV, yeah. but none of it is reflective of someone like consciously trying to break the destructive and harmful (to self and others) habits he had forged in his grief. none of it conveys any awareness on the part of character or text that, like, deciding on purpose to be a decent human being matters. that maybe it's the kind of thing you should commit to before falling into a long distance relationship with someone who probably has PTSD from their abusive parents. that it can be hard, that it's rewarding. none of that. instead - i don't even fucking remember what. at one point he feels guilty about holding adam back and then he thinks, i'm not asking him to stay, just to come back, like ok that makes it so much better. you're just asking adam parrish, a steel whirlwind of ambition, to go to the ivy league college he has just about killed himself getting to because of how desperately he wants to escape the shithole town where he had his traumatic childhood, and then move back in four years' time. which again is not discussed. it's just taken for granted that ronan wants to stay at the barns forever. he tells declan he wants to drop out of high school [a choice being made by an eighteen year old two years after the traumatic experience of finding his dad's murdered corpse] and be a farmer and drive a tractor in circles on the property, which would be kind of funny given that his family farm is populated by dream creatures, except that like the book takes him weirdly seriously and also this is not intended as a metaphor. like his endgame in that series is that this traumatized teenager is living by himself on the barns fucking around and dreaming forever with like 3 friends all of whom are leaving town and zero ties to human reality or goals or desires of any kind and this is treated as a happy ending. even though by the way his mom got brutally murdered eight months before the stupid epilogue. but he's doing fine [stief hates women so bad]. [again it's SO funny that the first dreamer book opens with "ronan realized that his life was totally pathetic and depressing so he decided to move." like there was not this level of complexity present when you wrote the dumb epilogue!]

i keep forgetting about how ronan dreams into existence a weird little feral fawn creature/person and is bizarrely chill about it. also how his mom is his dad's dream and his little brother is his own dream and it's really explicit that his mom in particular does not have a personality of her own but just responds by giving whoever she's talking to whatever kind of person they want to interact with, which is the moooooost fuuuuuucked uuuup thiiiiiing eeeeeeverrrrrrrrrrr, and the books are just like. yeah this is normal and fine. [again sooo funny that in the dreamer trilogy declan is like "unbelievably fucked up that my little brother and mom are dreams." like yeah it is! where did you get that idea maggie. was it in the tumblr tags.]

what else. she ruined blue liking space, which didn't seem possible. blue doesn't like space and want big things because she's a smart spunky girl in nowheresville virginia feisty enough to dare to believe she can make her own life. no. it's because her dad is a tree person and trees like the sky because they grow upwards. whenever i tell people this i have to emphasize how much i'm not exaggerating or making it up. this is what it says in the text. she's like "oh that makes sense." ???????? i dwell on this one a lot because it's soooooo so so so stupid, but also because i think it really encapsulates the thing that makes TRK not just stupid but actively repellant to me, which is that you get the sense reading it that stief thinks it's better when things come from weird magic shit instead of from like real human characteristics and psychology. like for a series about friendship it winds up feeling to me weirdly and grossly misanthropic - none of these people are special or worth caring about because they are human people, it's all because of their magic Stuff. it's all because oh they actually WERE more special than everyone all along, not because of the choices they made but because they were born to it (why is ronan the only one who can take from the ley line without stealing? is it because of the kind of person he is? no. it's bc he's Special). ronan's dreaming, blue's treeness, and then gansey being actually all along a time-shifted resurrected friendship amalgamation creature who felt an instant kinship with his friends, again, not because he was a lonely teenage boy seeking out fellow weirdos to care about, but because they literally had met him before. adam, the only genuinely human character left by the end, meanwhile still is constantly asked by the text to apologize for his existence, not just in the "don't hurt him" scene but in the absolute nightmare section in the end where he goes back to his abusive parents' house for closure(????) and reflects primarily on how ugly and small his trailer was (?????????) and feels startled to discover an instinct in himself to help other adams who might be stuck like he once was, and then immediately conceptualizes this as something blue or gansey would think, which is so hateful i can't even process it. like adam at no point in this last book is acknowledged to have had a positive influence on anyone else even though he's better than the lot of them put together, but he has to kowtow to blue and gansey in his own brain for teaching him (a poor abused kid) that he might empathize with poor abused kids???? when to my sincere recollection NEITHER of them has ever like on the page demonstrated any kind of do-gooding impulse? their hobbies are myth-hunting and unskilled clothing manufacture? perfectly acceptable hobbies for a pair of teens but like? why does she hate poor people and victims of abuse so bad...

the big bad demon that is destroying the town is shaped like a wasp. gansey has a bee/wasp allergy and one time died from bees. these two things are never connected. henry cheng is upgraded to a main character because maggie heard you like diversity and now has a completely different personality than when he was an amiable preppy dbag who happened to be asian. now he has a mother in the mob and a tragic backstory about being kidnapped that taught him that you can't let fear rule your life and if you're scared you should be scared and then do it and be happy anyway, which is pretty good advice for things like an irrational fear of closed spaces that can't actually hurt you but really not applicable to someone who both does literally have a deadly allergy to bees and also has spent the past four years traipsing willy nilly all over the place not even bothering to keep his epipen with him. it turns out gansey's big moral lesson has nothing to do with for example his obsessive desire to control his friends but actually like ronan he just needs to love himself better and realize that his friends care about him after all. please notice again that ronan and gansey, rich boys acting out, need to love themselves more. this is dumb but if this was like the thesis of the whole series i would be like, that was stupid but whatever. but what of adam parrish, a poor abused kid who was abused so hard he is now a poor abused disabled kid? does he get self-love? no. he gets to realize that his rich friends have made him a better person, and be relieved that he's escaped from poverty because of how the aesthetics were bad. I MEAN IT'S SOOOOOO CRAZY AUGHHHHHHH

i forgot when i was talking about henry cheng the scene where blue and gansey go to the asian kids' house and are like "wow such diversity so culture," which is like a nightmare edward said had once. like they're just so excited to have discovered this exotic exciting new world and to learn about things like how henry cheng makes asian jokes because if he says all the bad things about himself first then other people won't say them. and i shit you not, the entire sequence is done in narration, with spoken lines appearing in italics in the middle of descriptive paragraphs, not rendered with dialogue as an actual scene, a technique she doesn't use anywhere else that i can recall and which really serves to just be like... here is this Mass of Asianness, as opposed to being normal about it and being like "here's some asian kids having a party." i haven't seen anyone comment on this technical feature but i think about it all the time because it makes me feel insane. it's one of the few things i've read in the past however many years where i read it and was like "i guess i was naive before about racism." like it's not that i didn't know but i was like, wow in 2016 you can still just transparently have your entire ability to conceptualize scene and narrative totally warped by an attempt to feature non-white people and no one will be like, hey we're all unlearning a lot of stuff but maybe let's rethink this before we go to print. there's a scene where ronan jokes about henry's mixed-raceness by saying "which half" which i do think is stief being unaware of the optics bc she's dumb but still comes across real bad and then there's also a scene where ronan does a "vaguely offensive" imitation of henry's voice which i truly have no fucking idea what the hell that is supposed to mean on a literal concrete basis other than making fun of an asian kid's accent. in both of these cases gansey and blue are disapproving and adam snickers and it's like, ok so pynch is racist now. cool. who asked for this, maggie. and also see above re: i really gaslit myself into thinking that one of the points of this series was that ronan learns to be a better person. my bad! (he sort of attempts at one point to make up with declan about how ronan has treated him so bad and also ronan was obviously his dad's favorite. but like his way of doing this is he gives him a toy he dreamed called a Orb. if i were declan i would throw his Orb back in his face. but like that's how broken the ethos of these books is. a heartwarming reunion between two brothers torn apart by the death of the father that they both equally lost hello declan is also a teenage orphan - and it's just. here's some garbage i got you. i didn't even spend money on it. it just happened.)

in addition to ronan's mom the lady bad guy also dies a horrible bloody death that feels a lot more gratuitously fucked up than any of the man deaths in the series. oh i forgot about how blue's mom is dating a hitman who killed ronan's dad and ronan just like doesn't care about this after the first five minutes at all. and neither does anyone else. and then he wanders offscreen... i forget why. we never get any intel on why blue is destined to kill her first love if they kiss or if that would have happened with anyone but gansey or if she and gansey can kiss after he's resurrected or what. like the prophecy that kicks off the series, and just: nada. gansey sells his beloved home to bribe aglionby into letting ronan graduate and the two of them never talk about this and the text never clarifies whether ronan bothered to graduate or not (and in CDTH it turns out he didn't). like another way this alleged series about friendship is weirdly misanthropic is i really was not convinced by the end of it that these people were friends. none of them are seen ever enjoying each other's company or thinking well of each other outside of the two romantic pairings and gansey going apeshit about how awesome henry cheng is. also gansey's whole big quest for meaning blah blah, like i don't super care that glendower is dead, i think you could write a good book with that moment working thematically even though it does fuck with your continuity because who the fuck were the three sleepers. what was with those birds. (there's a lot of mysterious/spooky shit that never gets addressed and like... again i think you could write a book where that works, i don't like to be prescriptive about this stuff, but again: play stupid games win stupid prizes. write a dumbass book that invests a lot of time in the importance of its magic and worldbuilding, and i will get annoyed when your magic and worldbuilding is dumb as fuck and/or totally pointless.) but it's like ok so then the idea should be that the whole point of gansey's glendower quest was actually an internal one, that the payoff of SIXTEEN HUNDRED PAGES of this is some kind of life lesson or emotional shift or whatever. and the payoff is that gansey realizes his friends love him (which again: but do they though? like do they really?), and that he and blue and henry take a gap year. that's the big exciting finale. a year off before gansey goes to college, with his true love and a guy he first hung out with eight months ago. HELLO? like who gives any kind of a shit about that. about any of this. what the fuck was all this for. this all happened so that two rich teenagers could like themselves better. are you fucking kidding me maggie? hateful!

anyway. i'm sure at the time there was more i was forgetting because this book was sooooo boring and every single thing that happened in it was stupid. i feel like this was very incoherent but in my defense these books are hard to critique coherently because they are, again, so stupid. CDTH from what i remember reading it through the first time and continue to pick up now like hangs together as a book better certainly than TRK did but my experience is such that every time she does something passably right i truly can only be like, wonder how she's gonna fuck this one up to kingdom come.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super Manga Ch.100

Yes, Cheelai, we have finally reached the end of the 2023 Dragon Ball Apocrypha Liveblog, but in particular, we've also finally reached the end of the seemingly endless manga adaptation of the Dragon Ball Super: Super Hero movie.

And yeah, this seems like an anticlimactic place to close out the year, but that's kind of how this entire liveblog has been, when you get down to it. I've had fun going through all this stuff, but there's a reason I'm referring to it all as "apocryphal". The Tournament of Power is a lot of fun, and the two DBS feature films are instant classics, but none of it really feels essential to Dragon Ball. From the OAVs to GT to Super, the main theme here is "Hey, remember Dragon Ball? Let's make more of that!" Everything ends up being a sequel or a callback or an easter-eggy kind of deal. And that's not the worst thing that can happen to a franchise, but it's probably fitting that we're closing out on the final chapter of a comic book adaptation of a movie that serves as a sequel to the Android arc that was a continuation of the Red Ribbon Army arc.

Chapter 100 just retells the last several minutes of the Super Hero movie, and I already went over the film, so let's just concentrate on how the manga depicts it differently. We'll start with Gohan's right arm, which got some heat a few days ago when the previews came out.

I refuse to dogpile on Toyotaro, since he's a far better artist than I'll ever be, and I've genuinely enjoyed his art through this entire read-through, even when the writing has been bad. That said... yeah, Gohan's arm looks kind of weird. Maybe while Gohan was teaching himself the Special Beam Cannon, he learned how to do Piccolo's stretchy arm thing too.

I do think it's pretty dumb how chuds on Twitter will nitpick Toyotaro's art as though the original Dragon Ball manga was some kind of showcase of photorealistic anatomy. I've been a fan of this thing for a quarter-century now, and the key to loving Dragon Ball is to make peace with the fact that it's fundamentally goofy and stupid. Sometimes a guy's arm gets drawn longer than his other arm. Sometimes characters scream so loud that their jaws unhinge like when a snake swallows an egg whole. Bulma wasted a wish on the Dragon Balls to make her ass look hotter, because if she didn't, then Frieza would come back and use the wish to make himself taller. Goku grew his tail back by having a guy tug on his ass with a pair of pliers. This show was always a hot mess, so don't blame Toyotaro. It was like this when he got here.

Anyway, Cell Max tries to block the Special Beam Cannon like he did in the movie, but Gohan has a harder time punching through, so in this version Goten and Trunks jump in to distract Cell and give Gohan a boost. In the movie, they were still Gotenks until after the fight ended, but in this version the battle must have taken a little longer, since they de-fused a little earlier.

Of course, this is just a way for Toyotaro to show off the Great Saiyaman X-1 and X-2 costumes one more time. It's kind of pointless, because all of the added Goten and Trunks scenes in this arc have been pointless. Also, Trunks' pose looks really awkward here. He looks like he got sawed in half, and both halves are still kind of flying forward in the same direction, but he's no longer connected.

I will say that I'm grateful for this final appearance of X-1 and X-2, because it gives me a chance to critique their outfits one last time. I hate the superhero undies they wear over their tights. They look baggy and puffy for some reason, which make it look like Goten and Trunks are wearing diapers. I'm pretty sure that's the exact opposite of what the boys were going for.

I mean, the outfits aren't that bad, but what irritates me is how Toyotaro keeps showing them off like this is the coolest thing going on in this story. The designs are presented like they somehow connect all these different things. Goten and Trunks were inspired by Cleangod, and they named their personas after Great Siayaman, and then Dr. Hedo saw them and supposedly based the Gammas' costumes off their look. Except X-1 and X-2 don't actually look anything like Great Saiyaman, or Cleangod, or the Gammas. It's just frustrating.

Anyway, we get the same bit about cosmetic skin alteration from the movie, except Gotenks has already separated in this version, so Bulma can address Goten and Trunks separately.

I also like this part after Pan shows off her flying ability. This segued into the credits of the movie, but here we see Gohan calling out for her to stay closer to the ground. It's pretty cute, since it kind of calls back to when Gohan was a timid child way back in the early days of DBZ. Now he's older and braver, but I bet when he sees Pan up so high in the air he thinks about how scared he was whenever he was up really high.

Meanwhile, some Red Ribbon goons have survived the battle and appear to be slowly getting away. This is nice because I noticed these guys escorting Carmine to safety in one of the previous chapters, and I've always wondered if any of the Red Ribbon guys made it out of the base alive. Pan knocked Carmine out, so it seemed reasonable to assume that he was vaporized during the Cell Max battle. Actually, in the movie, it looked like the entire crater was flattened, but here it looks like the destruction stayed confined to that area.

Anyway, the implication is that Carmine will return to Red Pharmaceutical and try to figure out his next move, but it seems unlikely that he could be much of a threat. Magenta's dead, the base is destroyed, and a bunch of their soldiers either died or deserted in this battle. Remember, even with the base and all those soldiers, Magenta still wasn't ready to make a big move. Dr. Hedo's androids were supposed to be his game-changing weapon, and now Hedo's turned against the Red Ribbon, so what can Carmine possibly do from here?

We get some additional material of the Goku/Vegeta fight in the movie. In the post-credits scene, they were practically moving in slow-motion and we only got to see the final blow. Here, we see Goku and Vegeta each land one last punch before the one that ends it all. These boys look all rowdy and badass and it's great.

When Whis finally responds to Bulma's messages, we get this cute shot of everyone sleeping in the back of her aircraft. Gohan talks about taking her to the amusement park, which seems kind of random, but it occurred to me that this might be setting up some filler story for Chapter 101. Like Gohan and Pan go to the amusement park for the day, and Carmine tries to kill them or something to avenge the Red Ribbon Army. That probably wouldn't be a bad idea, although I really don't want that to happen, because it sounds similar to the "Hedo vs. Goten and Trunks" stuff we had in Chapters 88-90. Everyone thinks Toyotaro has been champing at the bit to get done with this arc so he can return to his Black Frieza business, but for all we know he's been enjoying this whole bit, and he'll blow the next six months on filler stories with Goten and Trunks goofing around with Sgt. Nutz.

Anyway, this is the last page and this was the last little bit of the movie too, so Toyotaro has definitely run out of movie to adapt. Also, Bulma looks really cute on this page, so I wanted to add that to the record.

So that pretty much wraps things up, except for one minor detail. Where's the big twist?

I ran across this last month when I was checking to see if Chapter 99 would wrap up the arc or not. CBR.com did an article entitled "Dragon Ball Super Chapter 100's 'Unbelievable' Twist to Lead to "'Crazy Developments'" The story stems from comments made by V-Jump editor Victory Uchida, who was hyping DBS chapters 99 and 100 while appearing in an unboxing video for some reason.

The video is in Japanese, so I can't just pull out direct quotes from the man, so maybe this was all some big misunderstanding. Maybe it was a mistranslation, maybe Uchida got confused and was referring to material that wouldn't see print until Chapter 101. Or maybe he was just doing a standard hype job for his publication without thinking about what was actually in the magazine. After all, how can Chapter 100 have an "unbelievable twist" when it's doing a shot-for-shot repeat of a year-old movie?

So I assumed this meant there would be some sort of epilogue scene in the final pages, designed to set up the next arc. Sort of like how the last chapter of the Tournament of Power arc had the scene where the Galactic Patrol kidnaps Majin Buu. But Chapter 100 had no such thing. No Black Frieza, no Cell Max suddenly turning the tables on Gohan to win the movie, no mysterious appearance from Purple Turles or Red Bojack. Not even a lousy cameo from Platinum Cooler.

Does this make Victory Uchida an unreliable source of information? Or has he simply been misunderstood? I feel like his ridiculous yellow wig/hat thing kind of holds the answer to that question.

Anyway, the ultimate fate of Dragon Ball Super lies in Chapter 101 and beyond, but those stories will be printed in 2024, which means they fall outside the scope of this liveblog. So unless Toei or Shueisha has a new movie or anime coming out in the next eleven days, I'm done. This has been the 2023 Dragon Ball Apocrypha Liveblog. Good night, everybody!

[boonsmoon]

Hey I wanted to ask if you could write character x reader with Crimson from Ragna Crimson? I don't have any request regarding the setting or anything else in that matter. You have a free hand on that part :3 And sorry if I sound stiff but english isn't my first language

i love you /platonic Crimson is my favorite character like <3 thanking Miku that Ragna Crimson simps exist on this site LMAO spoilers/references to chapter 50+

Request Masterlist Series ML Crimson x f!reader Genres:🎉🌸💞🧪

Traitors Love

You two were close. Not close as in being linked through Crimson's powers. It was more of a mutual liking you took towards each other. Of course, it's not hard when you both are considered traitors to your kin.

Despite sharing the status of traitor, you both differed in various ways. While both superior dragons, neither of you came from the same bloodline. You are one of the rare Claw Brethren. There is also the act of betrayal. You've never held a monarch role like Crimson, so you simply left your previous ways of genocide on humans.

However, you both share a common goal, to take down the Dragon God. Except you didn't foresee that after working together for years, you would start to fall for the heartless mastermind.

But he wasn't truly heartless, you know this. No one got close to Crimson like you. In fact, you are the only living dragon other than Borgius to have seen Crimson in his monarch days. And you must say, it was quite the look.

All that being said, you have finally wiped out a bloodline, the Winged one at that! And you couldn't be happier to have done that, especially with Crimson at your side. Though you suppose the human deserves some credit.

"What we'll do is stay with the Sun Cult and follow their plans. Of course, this is subject to change, as you can't blindly follow homicidal cultists," Crimson was setting up the team's new plan since y'all don't really have one beyond killing dragons.

The team, of course, listened to the brains. Plus, you can't really put your trust in an organization willing to sacrifice their own people... With the end of the talk, each member dispersed to do as they pleased with their new free time. That left you to spend your time with Crimson...

"Tell me, do you really believe that boy will follow any plans the cult gives him?" You personally thought this human would ignore the Sun Cult as a whole, which ya know, makes a lot of sense.

Crimson smirked, but you could feel a mix of disappointment and anger coming off him, "I expect him to, but of course an ignorant brat who only cares about getting rid of bloodlines as soon as possible could derail my entire plan..."

You stared off into nothing, knowing there's not much comfort you can provide. You both sat on the loveseat, planning to have some productive conversation. Or at least you thought so.

Crimson broke the silence, surprisingly getting a bit emotional. Obviously, you couldn't tell from a glance at his face though. "Why are you so stupid as to stay around and follow my plans?"

You were stunned, Crimson is always so proud of his plans, shouldn't he be glad you follow without question?

"You have the strength to destroy a superior dragon, to fight one until daylight and watch it burn. So why don't you?" Crimson is praising you; something isn't right here.

You, getting caught in your feelings after so many centuries, thought saying the first thing that came to mind was absolutely genius, "have you ever considered it's because I love you?" NO- GO BACK GO BACK GO BACK.

No, you cannot go back. Now deal with the consequences of your actions. The consequences aren't that bad actually, it's just a reply, "wow, you're dumber than I thought."

Are you dumb? Sorta. You did fall for quite possibly the biggest asshole to walk this earth.

Now it'd be smart to shut up, yes? No, you will continue, but this time make it cringe, "I'm an idiot, but I can be your idiot."

With a look of shock to a sly smirk, Crimson says, "always have been." You are hiding in your hands, you foolish fool, how did you not see it?

Crimson moves your hands and slowly kisses you. Yeah, you definitely wanna kill the entire dragon species with this person. <3

i wrote this listening to International Love 👍

kinda cringe but gotta embrace it

[boredgramlin]

Nvm I'm posting it. It will also be on AO3 and Wattpad soon.

This is an Akatsuki modern AU fanfic. Although my ocs are the main characters I will try to focus on the canon characters mostly. The map and locations are the same as the Naruto universe's, except there is no ninja stuff. Clans however exist, they're kind of a giant family.

I gave each character some modern world style and status, as well as my headcanons of their sexualities and gender. Just keep reading and you'll see ;D

1st chapter - The first encounter

- Akane get your butt up and move, we're gonna be late! - Miyako yelled from downstairs.

- Calm down, I'm on my way! - her friend yelled back - And we're not late, we still have time!

- No we don't! The journey to the school takes half an hour and we barely have 25 minutes left!

This was the point Akane realized her time perception has fooled her again. They were going to the camp of their new high school, and it would have been very unfortunate if they didn't arrive on time.

- Damn it!

She quickly put her trainers on and grabbed a hair tie from the drawer to put her long red hair up with.

- Bye mum! Love you!

- Akane wait! At least take on a sweater! - her mother called after her, but she was already getting inside the car.

- Nevermind... - Yumeko sighed - Take care.

The engine started and they departed. After quickly checking if they got everything they need, the girls started to gossip about the latest episode of the Percy Jackson series which had been one of their favorite topics ever since it came out. Miyako loved the Underworld scenes more since it fit her style and Akane was more fond of the ones portraying the Camp. But they both agreed on the Grover scenes being the best.

To their luck, Miyako's stepfather, Ibiki was a fast driver.

They managed to get to the school being only 5 minutes late instead of 10 or 15.

- Told you we'd make it - Akane grinned, looking at her friend.

- We might have, this time. But you'll be late from your own wedding girl - Miyako rolled her eyes.

While she and Ibiki got their packages out of the car, Akane ran to inform the teacher they are here and intend to go to the camp with their new class.

- Good morning Guy sensei! Sorry for being late! - she apologized, panting.

- You arrived in the last minute but just in time! - the man gave her a broad grin - Get on the bus, I'll take care of your luggage.

- Thank you very much.

A sigh of relief left Akane and she gestured to her friend to join her.

-Man, that's a lot of people!

The bus had about 50 seats and they were almost all taken. Most of the students were giggling, joking and talking with each other. Though there were some just playing on their phone or nervously looking around, they obviously had no friends in the newly formed class yet.

- Wow, I didn't expect this many people... - Miyako muttered too as she saw how crowded the place really was.

With no free seats left next to each other, they had no other choice but to search for any place they could find.

- Hey Ane, do you wanna sit with me? - a tall, kind of shark-looking guy asked as they walked by his seat.

- Kisame? What are you doing here?

Akane was taken by surprise, but she was happy to see her old friend from water polo trainings there. She nodded and quickly sat down.

- Nice to see you again carrot head.

- Nice to see you too shark face - she smiled mischievously, then looked back up at Miyako who was still standing.

- You need a seat too? - Kisame asked the dumb question.

- Yeah it would be nice. I don't feel irresistible urge to stand through the whole three hours of the journey - Miyako confirmed with a sarcastic tone.

Kisame nodded in agreement, and after a few minutes of thinking he called out to a gray haired guy with black hoodie that had a writing on it, saying "Keep calm and shut the fuck up".

- Hey Hidan, can she sit with you? - he pointed at Miyako.

Hidan looked up from his phone and upon seeing the girl, a vicious grin appeared on his face.

- There's always room next to me for a beauty like her - he winked.

Miyako's expression screamed "Help me" but there was nobody to rescue her and no other free seat nearby, so she finally sat down, accepting her fate.

Akane was about to start nagging Kisame about how he ended up in the camp of Will of Fire High school when he said he was going to go to the Riptide Secondary Technical School. But then the teachers got on the bus too, and Gai sensei started to read the names out loud from his checklist. Most of the students' talking died down to listen to him but a few needed their peers reminding them to raise their hand.

- Momochi Zabuza.

- Here - a tanned boy near them answered.

- Unfortunately - Kisame added, whispering.

- Nagaki Miyako.

- Here...

Miyako desperately tried to avoid eye contact with Hidan, who on the other hand was making a huge effort to be noticed.

- Hinoro Akane.

Akane was zoned out for a minute, she barely realized they were calling her name.

- Oh yeah right I'm here - she quickly raised her hand too.

The list went on and on, at the end however a name caught her and her friends' attention as well.

- Uchiha Itachi.

- Here - a voice with a bored tone answered from the front of the bus.

Kisame, Hidan, and a blond boy gasped at the same time upon hearing the infamous family name.

- Uchiha? Aren't they that incredibly rich family?

- Yeah they are - a girl with purple hair, sitting behind Akane agreed.

- Uchiha Fugaku is a lawyer and councilor at the town-hall. And you know how good friends they are with the mayor...

- Fucking politicians - Kisame grunted.

- Yeah. But hey, if he's that rich and famous, why didn't he go to a fancy private school? What is he doing here?

- Maybe he's just spying on us - Zabuza guessed.

- He's better not, or else he's gonna have to return to his precious father beaten up - the shark gritted his teeth.

- Hey calm down, just because he's the child of Fugaku doesn't mean he's like him. I'm not like my father either and neither are a lot of us.

Akane attempted to calm Kisame down, and she was successful. His muscles relaxed and he let out a frustrated sigh.

- You're probably right. Sorry - he turned his gaze away nervously.

- Still, what is he doing here? - the blonde boy didn't want to give up until the question was answered.

- I don't know Deidara, why are you looking at me?!

- Because you're the girl and you're the only one I know here Konan! - he retorted.

- Well then... why don't we get to know each other? - Miyako suggested gently.

The whole group went silent for a second. This was a logical and quite obvious possibility.

- That is... Actually a decent idea...

The bus made a left turn and soon it was speeding on the main road, towards the highway passage. By the time they reached the highway, the small group was already familiar with each other's names and hometown.

Kisame and Zabuza were obviously from Kirigakure. Konan, Yahiko and Hidan from the Land of Rain, Deidara from Iwagakure. The boy's name sitting next to him was Obito, or Tobi on his nickname. He was quite antisocial at first but became the silliest guy once they've started chatting. He introduced his friends from Konoha, Itachi and Iruka, who were sitting on the seats behind him and joined the conversation soon. This made the "Leaf gang" the biggest in numbers, as it included Miyako and Akane too. Zetsu, probably the most quiet person you can ever meet was sitting next to Zabuza and reading some kind of book about plants. He was hard to include in the conversation in the beginning, but with Tobi, his attitude changed too and started participating.

- By the way Kisame how did you end up here? I thought you were going to the Riptide? - Akane asked once they were done with the introduction.

- Yeah right, it's one of the best schools around here based on the grades average. How'd you get in? - Zabuza teased.

- I'm good at biology, okay? - Kisame glared at him angrily.

- Yeah right you know the reproduction of sharks very well.

- Shut up.

- No.

- Asshole.

- Fish.

The argument would have went on if the three girls didn't end it with a firm "Guys, shut the hell up".

- It's been only like 20 minutes of you being near each other and you're unbearable already, hm - Deidara grunted.

The two just rolled their eyes like they were seriously offended, but a few minutes later they returned to talking with the others. Despite their quarrels with each other they were fun to be around and could undeniably crack the worst jokes known to mankind.

- Hey, look! - Hidan suddenly pointed at something, looking at it through the window - That big concrete whatever isn't supposed to be there, right?

All the members of the new friendgroup looked at the direction he was pointing at.

- No... Please not... - Zetsu whispered in genuine shock.

- There's no way...

To be continued :3

[hhighkey]

Haunted // Chapter Four, answers and doubts

Inumaki Toge x OC (female)

Chapter Rating: general

Story Contains: unhealthy relationships, strangers to lowkey!friends to lovers, family issues, OC is in high school going into university after summer, she thought curses were ghosts, bad parents want their child dead, 18/19 character ages, toge is so in love, eventual sex prior to relationship, soft dom toge, dacryphylia, over protective/ possessive toge, jealous toge

Word Count: 4062

KEY: ‘text written with single quotations are writing/typing in notes or messages by toge' and bold text is when japanese sign language comes in

Tags: reply to be added

Masterlist

-

Keiko was awoken by the tiny, rough tongue of Jelly licking her cheek, with soft mewls crying for her. With a soft groan she swatted at her cat for him to leave her be, she'd barely gotten any sleep last night. The first moments of waking up were bliss, she was stretching out and pulling her blankets back over her. But not after long, her eyes shot open as everything came rushing back. She sat up in a panic and looked around her room to realize somehow she was in her room until her eyes landed on the clock. 1:05PM. "Fuck," no wonder Jelly woke her up.

It was hard for her to swallow, felt like something was stuck in her chest as she came to her senses. Oh no. Where was Aki? Kaito? How did she even end up back in her bed? Her mind felt foggy as she tried to remember- and she couldn't. All that came to her was the monster attacking them, a bright yellow light from her hands, and then sorcerers. Keiko sat up, placing her hands over her eyes as her breaths turned started to hyperventilation, heart racing. Breathe. In. Out.

She began to sniffle. A feeling of despair gnawed at her as she tried to remember everything that happened yesterday. Trying to help Kaito wasn't supposed to lead to any of that.

A softness rubbing against her tore her thoughts away from yesterday and down to where her cat nuzzled himself into her.

"Hi baby," she cooed, picking Jelly up and cradling him to her chest. For once he didn't struggle, "yesterday was bad... I'm lucky to be alive."

Lucky to be alive. Her own words sent shivers down her spine as the gravity of it all came crashing down. As quick as her and Aki joked about getting to the bottom of her ghosts and family, they quite literally got thrown in the middle of one part of their 'investigation'. Over and over the young girl cursed herself for being so dumb, for putting them in danger. The one time she grew a pair it almost got them killed. Remorse slowly took over her panic as tears welled in her eyes, one getting free as it trickled down to her mouth. Keiko had no idea how long she was asleep for, but she didn't feel rested. A dull ache took over her head as she did her best to stifle her cries that soon turned into soft hiccups of pure sorrow.

The soft meows of Jelly made her smile through her tears as she bitterly laughed at how pathetic she must look. With a deep shaky breath, Keiko moved Salem off of her and went to stand up. Her body was meet with the chill of AC, her bare feet cold against the hardwood. She hugged her body with her arms as she stood glancing around her room feeling like an ant stuck somewhere new. The milk white walls of her bedroom adorned by pastel pictures, decorations- felt like they'd enclose in on her any second. Her hands shook by her side as she sucked in a deep breath,

Something was out of place that caught her attention from the corner of her eye.

A note. Keiko instantly grabbed the pink paper off her night stand and began to read it,

Sorry about having Inumaki put you to sleep, you got a little freaked out. Whenever you get up, head outside and a member of our faculty will bring you back,

-Gojo

ps, I didn't have paper so I used some of yours hope you don't mind

Her eyes scanned over the note multiple times before she could recollect it all. Jujutsu High. The place Aki talked about, which somehow they managed to end up at not even twenty-four hours later. Slowly the names and faces of the sorcerers she met came back to her as well. At first she'd just thought it was all a bad dream when she remembered.. as it was what it felt like. Sorcerers. But in fact it was all real and maybe now she could get answers. "Shit", she mumbled remembering she didn't know if Aki and Kaito were still there. She stumbled for her phone, which was plugged in right in its usual spot, immediately bringing up her texts between her and her best friend-

1:16 pm

KEIKO: AKI pick up

After a new minutes there was still no response, it made Keiko's heart pound even as her brain fought to remind her they were all safe. She wanted a response to have confirmation though. However, reading that note helped curve the gnawing, the itch at the back of her head that kept telling her she was forgetting something. The main thing that weighed her down was now gone and the note from Gojo helped to relieve it.

A few more minutes of staring at her texts passed before Keiko finally gained the strength to move to her bathroom.

Grabbing clothes from her dresser and closet, she felt like a zombie following routine as she entered her ensuite bathroom. At first glance in the mirror, she saw an exhausted girl with dark eye bags staring back. Her hair was oily and flat past her shoulders, even her skin looked like it had a sick tint to it. Keiko sighed at the site of herself as she began to take her clothes off to shower.

Warm water cascaded against her smooth skin feeling blissful and allowing her to relax. Showers were a way for her to decompress, to escape her constant over thinking and paranoia. She felt like she could be in heaven for a few long minutes before having to face what she had to do today. But she knew that it wouldn't last as she was learning the hard way in the last twenty-four hours. She wondered how much things were going to change for her.

It didn't take her long to leave the bathroom once she turned off the water. She jumped around as she finished drying her hair and browsed through her makeup. Ankle socks, a skirt and cute button up adorned her body as she soon scrambled to find a light cardigan. Her hair was down her back slightly damp against her clothes as she was putting on her stan smith's then going to grab her designer purse.

When she finally worked up the courage to leave her room, Keiko felt like there was an extra barrier she had to get through. Her bedroom was a place she could feel safe, it was light and welcoming, a fun girly aesthetic she adored. It had personal touches and bright colors, in order but also lived in. A great contrast to the mansion. The estate had everything perfectly in order, perfectly clean, and dreary. The perfect place to feel like a prisoner.

With a sharp breath, Keiko willed her herself to move with soft footsteps echoing in the lonely hall. As she continued to walk down corridors and down a grand staircase, she'd passed only one person- the new maid whom she shot a smile towards. Nobody besides Aki knew that Keiko being able to leave the estate by herself this easily had never been a thing. Someone always watching. But now Keiko could grasp the large doors to the outside world with her own fingers and pull them open. Freedom. Fresh air.

At the bottom of the stairs up to the doors was a black car off to the right. It was a car she'd never seen before but she assumed who it belonged to.

As she descended, a lanky man with brown hair and glasses stepped out of the driver's side. 

"Hello Keiko, my names Ijichi and I work for Jujutsu High. I'll be taking you back— if that's okay."

-

The drive out to Jujutsu High felt long. Keiko stared out the window watching all the scenery go by as they drove into thicker trees and mountains. She hadn't remembered any of this yesterday, but that was understandable. No wonder nobody knew of this place, it was so hidden and as buildings came into view- she didn't even think that was the school. Whoever told her their guise as a buddhist temple wasn't lying that it was a good one. It was effortlessly beautiful with the old temple like buildings, the statues and lamps, and greenery that helped lead them in that showed their age.. she felt herself with a soft awe in the place. Sun fought to stream through the leaves as it left pockets of yellow on the ground.

Ijichi hadn't spoken on their drive, instead he watched the young girl carefully, "beautiful right?"

"It is. Do all the sorcerers live here?"

"Some. There's other... schools, in the country as well. Most work independently though."

The car came to a stop and Ijichi was instantly out and walking to her side to open the door for her, "hopefully your visit today will be kinder than yesterdays."

"Thanks," she smiled at him.

The few steps forward that she took, she instantly felt transported to another place. The air was cooler with all the shade as she walked besides Ijichi, looking around at everything she could. There was a stillness around her that made her footsteps on leaves and stones echo around her. Groups of hydrangea blended into the shrubbery but bringing pops of color to the stoned paths.

Standing past the break in trees and lamps was a familiar sight. Inumaki. He was dressed in the same purple uniform as his hair blew lightly in the wind. Even from her distance she could feel his piercing eyes on her body. Her heart pounded as her and Ijichi got closer to, she was actually excited to see him.

Keiko smiled as they reached Inumaki.

"Gojo wants to talk to you, figured you could use some familiar company in the mean time." Ijichi explained as he took his leave, "I'll let him know you're here, he got distracted while waiting."

Without another word Ijichi left the two to their own devices. Keiko and Inumaki stared at the other with small sparks in their eyes, flushes of pink coming to their cheeks.

"Konbu," he said softly.

"Hi, how are you?"

"Shake," his voice was so kind, it felt like music to her ears.

"I'm glad you're here. I don't really know anyone else enough..." her voice faded as she wasn't sure why she got so open so quick, they didn't know one another at all.

"Tuna tuna," he reached his arm out to guide her. She assumed he wanted her attention in one way or another. It was a little odd for her to hear someone say onigiri ingredients as speech.

She assumed Inumaki was taking her to wherever Gojo was, to wait. But she wondered if he volunteered to be the one tor got stuck with her. However, those thoughts soon left as she was in awe once more by the sights of the school. Inumaki watched her with curious eyes as she was light on her feet looking around. She seemed happy. Or at least in great contrast to how she was prior. He liked the way her dark hair swayed in the wind, blowing into her face along with the amazed look on her face.

The pair stopped when they reached what Keiko assumed to be a main building of the grounds. She continued to peer around until she felt a soft tapping on her arm. Inumaki was staring at her with eyes that appeared to want her attention, he cocked his head towards the stairs. Keiko was a little lost but she followed regardless. He had taken a seat on the bottom stair and tapped the spot next to him for her to sit, which she followed suit. A pit formed in her stomach as their sides touched and as her eyes wandered over the parts of his face that were visible.

Like he had yesterday, Inumaki took out his phone to type on it. The small bouts of anticipation that came with watching his fingers made her encapsulated in him.

'How are you doing?'

Keiko smiled from his concern for her, "I'm okay, I feel good knowing my friends are okay mainly, guess it's helped my stress. But feels like I'm going through a weird routine so I don't upset myself right now."

'That's good to hear... I think you'll be okay you seem strong'

"Think so?" she chuckled as she read his words over again, "Just was scared is all. I reacted."

'Like I said you're strong'

"Can I ask about your cursed speech thing?"

Keiko watched as Inumaki hesitated over the keyboard on his phone, slowly typing below his former responses, deleting, and then re-typing. Immediately she felt guilty asking about what must have been a personal ordeal.

'It's called the Snake and Fangs seal of my clan. I was born with it. I'm not sure how much you understand but I can infuse my words with cursed energy. It's why I don't speak and how I later discovered onigiri ingredients couldn't be be used with cursed energy.'

"Is that why when you said 'explode' that curse literally exploded?" Inumaki nodded, "wow. That's like really cool but, I can imagine it's hard.." her voice faded out. If only he could choose when the words had the cursed energy, that was a pity for him.

'Do you remember anything about what you did now? It was really interesting.' he typed quickly.

"I'm trying to remember. All I wanted was for them to live. And I guess I just made it happen." she shrugged, looking down at her hands, "Is that why I'm here?"

'Probably.' Inumaki could see the drop in her mood as he could practically see the gears turning in her head, he didn't want her to think too hard. He continued to type furiously, 'Why don't we talk about something else? You seem uncomfortable.'

"Yeah I wouldn't mind that," she chuckled feeling grateful at how perceptive he was, "do you live here full time? Do you guys like learn normal school things? Calculus? Bio?"

He laughed, and it surprised her as if she expected that to be something he couldn't do. She looked at him and involuntarily smiled as she saw his eyes crinkled at the side, boy was she curious about the lower half of his face.

'Nope, don't mind not learning math.' he paused before he continued typing as she stared at his screen, 'but yes I live here, when I'm not training or on a mission I do whatever I feel like, they're not really restrictive, but I'm also not a first year student.'

"How many students are here? How old are you? I just turned seventeen a little bit ago."

'Me and six others. One isn't around though. And I'm almost 19.’

"Oh, that's a lot smaller than I'd imagined. Guess it makes sense. Not everyone sees these curses, I've put together." Keiko sighed in dismay as she thought back to how alone she felt for years.

'I'm sorry you had to deal with that for this long. You're not alone with it now though. It's confusing seeing things others can't. Tell me a little about yourself?'

"Oh I don't know where to start with that one," Keiko shrugged, "I guess I was your everyday case of a kid with super strict, kinda crazy parents. I'm not kidding I've never left the general Tokyo area." Inumaki's eyes looked surprised at that, "right?" she giggled, "I don't mind school actually, enjoy being with my friend Aki, my cat- and oh I love shopping. Makeup, skincare, perfume, jewelry, clothes. All of it. Basic I guess."

'Not basic, that suits you if you enjoy it.' Inumaki really liked something about Keiko. He chalked it up to being he was one of the people to save her and the others. Maybe he felt like he had a duty to her and to help guide her on this new, scary path she'd have to go down. Inumaki knew she wouldn't get a choice, Gojo didn't let people walk away.

"You? What do you enjoy?"

'Watch a lot of Youtube videos in my free time, maybe read. Panda keeps telling me I should get into cooking'

"Cooking is fun! Sometimes because it's a lot of work in my opinion... But I can't get over that you guys have a panda.."

Inumaki laughed again then went back to typing, 'Panda's a cursed corpse, he's basically filled with cursed energy. Our principal made him with his cursed energy years ago I'm pretty sure'

"I'm not kidding, if I hadn't been in shock all of last night.. I definitely would have been more affected by a big talking panda."

"Shake," hearing his voice sounded at this point. She'd talk and he'd type (quickly too), so each time his smooth voice hit her ears it sounded like music.

"Hey would you um.. want to exchange numbers maybe? You've been so welcoming and it would be nice to have someone to contact.."

"Shake," under his high collar he smiled, thankful for the high fabric hiding his excitement.

"Here I'll just type my number out on your notes." Keiko typed out her number, "there you go, and thats for k-e-i-k-o," she finished with her name next to it.

Handing the phone back to him he nodded, unbeknownst to her, pink growing on his cheeks. Inumaki thought she was cute and it didn't help she was trying to make the effort to 'talk' with him- oh no. They shared a comfortable silence before Keiko's phone started going off.

At first she didn't feel the vibration in her purse as she'd been focused on the him that he had to point towards it. Her heart raced with an excitement needing it to be her friend, "oh sorry, I think it's Aki."

4:02 pm

AKI: heyyyy i can see ur alive! i'm confused as fuck

AKI: just woke up

KEIKO: yes but literally i'm also confused and worried

AKI: cool soooo my house like rn??

KEIKO: wait you got brought home too?

AKI: yeah... SUPER weird.

AKI: come over now

KEIKO: so funny story im back at the jujutsu high place.. so i'll come over after?

AKI: cool... make them tell you what the fuck is going on

KEIKO: i will try but their teacher is weird asf, also how are u feeling?

AKI: like normal it's crazy.. i remember you doing something tho. like i know i got hurt but i don't feel a thing

KEIKO: brb

AKI: oh?

Just as Keiko was able to get ahold of Aki, she was torn away from her phone by a voice she dreaded hearing. Gojo. He stood staring down at where she was with Inumaki, a big smile plastered on his face, which for some reason made her feel annoyed. She wanted to be with Aki right now so they could hold each other, cry this out, figure out where to go from here. Aki finally had to see everything Keiko had been burdened with all her life so she knew how hard it could be to comprehend it.

"Glad you could make it Keiko!" Not like she had any choice, "why don't you follow me?"

"Sure," Keiko sighed.

Keiko gave Inumaki a tiny wave goodbye as she followed Gojo into the building. A little flitter of tingles felt alive in her stomach as she left his view and a door closed completely shutting her off from him. Each step around an unfamilair corner before they got to an empty room with couches confused her as if it were a maze.

"Take a seat."

"Thanks." Keiko sat down and Gojo sat across from her. Keiko looked like another confused kid he's recruited over the years; looking around in awe and unable to make eye contact. But she also seemed like she just didn't want to be there.

"Feeling okay?" she nodded so he continued, "sorry to have to drag you out here so fast again, but I did lots of thinking last night and I need to get to the bottom of this before I have to talk to the higher-ups. And well, I'm curious Keiko, who are you?"

Keiko frowned, "my name's Hayashi Keiko and I'm in my final year of high school. That's all."

"Hayashi?" Gojo perked up at this, eyes quickly widened before she caught himself from showing a reaction, "you related to Jiro?"

"Yes..." she looked at him in an accusatory way, "how do you know my dad?"

"Dad, huh? That's interesting. Makes sense though. Do you not know your parents are jujutsu sorcerers?"

Keiko felt numb, "Uh," it made sense. Why they confirmed they could see the 'monsters' she could too and why she had no idea what they did for work, "I mean no but..."

"I don't know anything about your mom but your dad... he's one of my higher ups."

Confusion was overwhelming for the young girl. Why had this been hidden from her? Maybe they just wanted to protect her? Keiko felt her head begin to spin- or was it the room? The air felt thick as she took a sharp breath in and let it out shakily, "what do you want from me?"

"I want you to join Jujutsu High."

"No..." Keiko said bluntly, "I'm good."

Gojo hadn't been expecting such a harsh and immediate response, "why?"

"I already have my life, I'll be going to university soon."

"You should think about it. Keep doing what you want but people here can help you." a serious glint shown behind Gojo's sunglasses where she could see bits of light blue, "you should be careful at home, your dad specifically is my least favorite of all my bosses. He probably shouldn't even know we've met."

Keiko's nose scrunched up in distaste. For years she despised how her parents treated her, but they'd never done anything to harm her. They were now allowing her, as she was older, to go and live her life- maybe they just wanted her to learn strict morals. So Keiko didn't want to hear this. She couldn't even wrap her mind around her dad being such an important sorcerer.

Gojo continued to speak, but she wasn't listening. Something about her dad heading down a road that wasn't acceptable. How her mother would stand idly by. All lies.

She didn't want to hear any more of what Gojo had to say. Her head continued spinning and her legs felt weak as she made herself get up from the couch. She didn't believe Gojo received any explanation or answer from her as she ran from the room she felt as if she'd pass out. But Keiko didn't look back and ran down the semi-familiar halls that she thought she could navigate back to where Ijichi's car would be- even if it was quite the walk or run away, she didn't care.

When she finally pushed open the doors that lead her to outside where she came from, Inumaki was still seated right where she left him. At this point tears were welling in her eyes as she became overstimulated from yesterday and today- it was finally hitting her as her family was now involved. Inumaki jumped up and tried to head over to her as he saw the state she was in, "takana?" she just shook her head as she pushed past him and down the steps.

Keiko appreciated everything jujutsu high did for her and her friends, but she needed time away from all of this. She could sleep better at night knowing she wasn't alone and seeing ghosts- but now she'd always have Gojo's warning stuck in her mind. 'You should be careful at home.'

"Think I scared her?" Gojo said as he appeared in the doorway of the building looking down at Inumaki, watching Keiko walking off with Ijichi not far behind as he'd been waiting.

"Shake."

[eomma-jpeg]

1, 7, 17!

my triumphant return is now bc i really wanted to answer some asks lol

1. Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

honestly i always go back to silly little fluffy one shots. i love writing happy characters mostly bc i fall in love with the ones that are sad T-T and i like to make them kiss !!! i love shipping and just want my favs to smooch !

7. Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

okay,, so one of the chapters in in the meadow that i'm most proud of is chapter 7, which is when Vash and Knives TALK and if you want the full context its best to read the full chapter, but im going to insert one of my favorite chunks

The knob twisted and he peeked in through the crack, eyes immediately locking with his brother's. Met with his always intense gaze, Vash decided then and there he would not back down. Call it a sibling rivalry. "Took you long enough," Knives chided, relaxing his head back into the bed. His scolding honestly made Vash relax. Maybe this would just be a talk, nothing more, nothing less. Neither member expected much of the other, and if they came to any sort of consensus by the end, it would be a success. Vash made this quick resolution, a breath of relief escaping him. Vash moved into the room and closed the door behind him, "Sorry, I got caught up with something." "Get trapped in your sheets again?" Vash couldn't believe Knives was attempting to tease him, and tease him about something from their childhood. Deciding to play along, Vash replied, embarrassed, "You know that only happened one time." Knives just huffed, and it made Vash pause. The way he said his teasing comment wasn’t truly humorous, nor was it hateful or irritated. It was so mild, almost devoid of feeling, and Vash saw on Knives’ face what he was trying to hide. Taking a page right out of Vash’s book, Knives was deflecting; he was attempting to diffuse the situation or distract Vash from the pure panic in his eyes. Sympathy permeated his own expression unwillingly.   Proceeding silently, Vash shifted the end table to the right of Knives just enough so he could sit on it. There weren’t any other pieces of furniture in the room that Vash could utilize, so the small desk would have to do.

I went over chapter 7 probably 1 billion times because i wanted to characterize Vash and Knives as best as possible. I don't think i'll ever do it perfectly bc theyre not my characters, but I think i did this chapter justice. BUT this section here kind of... reveals Knives to be just as scared as Vash is about any sort of reconciliation between them, and while in reality they would need so much more than just a simple conversation to fix everything (and they do) I like to think that I did well at creating a scenario where they could do that. I've read too many works where they create dumb excuses for getting characters to change or to talk and I didn't want to fall into that trap.

17. Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

so as of late i do write from start to finish. I think it helps with the flow, and it incentivizes me to finish the whole thing lol. with in the meadow i had to bc i knew if i only wrote the scenes i wanted to write it would never get done lol

[hollandorks]

Oh. My. God. Chapter 30 was incredible, amazing, fantastic, brilliant, I could go on. The absolute despair Bruce is in. Like, I can feel the downward spiral he’s in in his head and the way he just throws himself into being Batman to try to avoid feeling what he’s feeling. I can literally see him getting into fights and just being so brutal and trying to beat the feelings out of himself. The description of how he completely destroyed the tables and everything? SO GOOD.

And her anger!! Ugh. I know exactly how that kind of anger feels, and you just completely nailed it. Like, she’s absolutely had enough of him beating himself up. When she think about how she doesn’t understand why she’s angry?? Girl I’ll tell you, it’s because you secretly feel rejected by big, dumb, broody bat boy.

And Alfred!! Him telling Bruce that he’s punishing her too?????? That could maybe be the most powerful thing he could’ve said to Bruce, imo. He needed to hear that.

“YOURE A BULLY”!!!!! 😂 i can’t, the thought of him telling her that literally has me dead.

And also. Istg if BRUCE WAYNE growled “play later” at me??!!?!! Akheiskdjwodbdj I would die right then and there. I would evaporate into thin air. I would cease to exist.

TLDR I hope you are so so proud of this, because it’s fabulous and so full of tangible emotion and boyyyyyy did we need that resolution lol. I’m so excited to see what you have coming in the last couple parts 💖

***CH 30 SPOILERS***

Thank you so much 🥺

Beating the the feelings out of himself is such a good way to put it. That'e exactly what he's doing!

"It's because you secretly feel rejected by big, dumb, broody bat boy" 💀😂 The way that made me laugh. SO accurate though! That's exactly what I was going for! He's not just rejected her love, but he's full-on rejecting her presence. Not even trying to be friends or anything. So her sexy dream really drove that home and really pissed her off 😂

This scene with Alfred & Bruce just came so naturally to me. It's probably my absolute favorite scene between them! I swear it felt like I was just listening and writing down what was being said, like I didn't evem create it, I was just recording it 😂 That's how natural it felt. Their dynamic is so so so interesting to me so I had to include a scene like this with dad! Alfred

I've said it before I was really inspired by that "play later" line in an actual book so I stole it 👀 Because it felt very Bruce to me 👀 (also waiting to see if anyone can point out which book this is from, I've definitely mentioned the book on here before hehe)

Ugh wow thank you 🥺🥺🥺 I am proud of it! I keep calling it my magnum opus. Idk if I can ever write anything quite like this again. I adore this fic with my whole heart; it kind of has a few pieces of my soul in it. I'm just so pleased that you all love it as much as I do. 😭😭😭

[benafee]

Hi benafee! Here’s a few qs for ✨variety✨

If you had to pick a side character in one of your fics to write an entire long fic about, who would you pick? What would that fic look like?

What is your writing process like? How much do you prep/outline beforehand? Who are your style inspirations?

In Remaking the World, how is Sarah doing? Is she spiraling as badly as David, and does she know how badly or why he’s having a bad time? Does she know that he’s in love with Jack? Also I JUST noticed that this last chapter doesn’t have a word in the title- am I reading too much into it, or is that because David has lost so much control and can’t pin anything down right now?

Oh these are good.

First though, I'm just going to quickly respond to your answer about the most memorable scenes thing here

the scene describing Jack’s mom from his picture. Idk why it stuck so much with me, but I think about it all the time. It’s an imagined person from an imagined picture and neither of them knew her, but not even close to imaginary at all at the same time. I feel like I haven’t read an “I love you” like that before

I mean thank you so much. This was one of the first scenes I'd planned out for this story and I'm very happy the emotional weight I attached to this moment came through to you.

However my gratitude is somewhat tempered by indignity at the fact that I now must admit that I have spent an inordinate amount of time planning out a Kloppman-centric pre-canon (and pre-remaking the world) fic. I am writing it almost entirely for the sake of one (1) scene but isn't that always the case? Anyways, here's the rough summary:

All things considered, Bram knows he ought to be content with his lot in life. 

But Sister Martha keeps “checking in” and Mrs. Oliver’s on the warpath and Otto wants to introduce Bram to his sister and Danny won’t tell him what’s wrong and Nick and Louis aren’t being careful and Charlie keeps asking hard questions and and Patrick has it out for the new kid and Race keeps scamming Albert in the dice games they shouldn’t be playing in the first place and Jack’s up to something.

Or: the longest six months of Bram Kloppman’s life. 

Should be fun!

My writing process is, in a word, involved. I do indeed work off a plan. Many plans. For long fics (all my fics) I like to develop a few outlines - one full outline of the work, separate outlines for each chapter which I will work into, a document for developing/tracking themes, recurring motifs, and other important elements in the story, a few documents about important background information and research, and then another document where I'll jot down lines, elements, and scenes that I'd like to include and have yet to find a place for. From there I'll either proceed to slowly write into the chapter outlines based on my whims or I'll let it percolate in the back of my head for months or even years, often feeling incredibly guilty about my lack of progress, only to have it come together when I least expect it. I'm learning to accept the latter as part of my process and trying to release the guilt aspect. Most of my fics are still largely a result of process rather than planning, and sometimes a not small amount of dumb luck - I'm still tickled that the Latin root words of one of my recurring motifs built into a full transitional section which included a reasonably good metaphor about David's complicated feelings towards his schooling. You can't plan that shit. Well you probably could but I sure didn't.

As far as inspiration... I'm not sure. I'd say my writing is pretty typical for fiction writing. It's likely that there are people that unconsciously influence my writing. I reread The History of Love by Nicole Krauss a while ago and noticed that she also has a habit of slipping deeply sad lines into the middle of her narration like they're innocuous sentences. I've also taken a lot of inspiration from poetry, but that's more contributed to an awareness of form and approach than any directly trackable path of influence.

As for Sarah... I mean she's already had two pretty major breakdowns during this fic so she's not doing great. As far as how much she knows... there's definitely more revealed over the course of the fic so I don't want to get too specific here. She definitely knows something is wrong and she definitely does not know the full story, and, combined, this will lead to problems.

And finally, you really should have more faith in your interpretive abilities ;)

[longeyelashedtragedy]

5, 6, 14 for the fanfic ask game please!

5. yes! the author of my all time favorite football fic used to comment on some of my fics before she left football fandom. my comments on hers were like, me exposing all my emotions bc of how transformative her fic was, and her comments on my dumb porn were kinda more chill, but it was so cool that she appreciated my writing!

6. when i post a fic/chapter, i usually re-read it a couple times to soak in the vibes of it being on ao3 and catch random grammar errors or tiny word choice issues i didn't catch before. then yes i def do the refreshing for kudos/comments game though i wish i didn't hahah

14. a snippet? okay...😈

Granit would like FaceTime…

Mikel stumbles down the hall and out onto the balcony.  He still isn’t wearing a shirt, but it’s not like Granit will be scandalized by this. Exactly the opposite, really.

Except—

“HEYYY!!!”  “Heyyyyy!” “Mr. Arteta, man of the match!”

Mikel is disoriented.  It’s Granit’s FaceTime request.  But it is not Granit who’s looking at him on his screen.  It isn’t even just one person.  It’s three—Xherdan the most recognizable, but he can name all of Granit’s international teammates—there’s also Ricardo, and Haris, the game’s only goal-scorer.  Granit is nowhere to be seen.

“Uhh—I don’t understand—did you mean to call me?”

“Hey,” Xherdan says.  “We don’t have a lot of time before Granit finds us and cuts our balls off, so.”

“We just want to say thank you!” Haris yells.  He is much too loud, even over the phone.  Mikel hears a song playing very faintly from the Swiss end of the call.  He doesn’t know what it is, but some of the boys play it in Arsenal’s dressing room, too.  So the team must be partying.  Maybe these three are just drunk.

“You are looking good,” Ricardo adds.  “Still got it, Mr. Arteta!”

“You just won, you should be with your team,” Mikel says, trying to summon up the authority with which he addresses certain journalists at press conferences.  “Where is Granit?  Why are you on his phone?”

“We just want to say thank you for inspiring our captain!” Xherdan continues, pointedly ignoring Mikel.

“Inspiring?”

“Yes, he went to take some private phone call—“

“—it was a long call,” Ricardo adds,

And then Haris, “because who else would he leave us to talk to before a match, other than his manager—” 

“—and then came back different.  With so much energy, just something different about him, and look how we played!  You must have really inspired him!”

THANK YOU!!!

[elytrafemme]

Welp. My brain is fried from testing, but once again this was an absolutely lovely chapter!! My thought process while reading this was either: Wow, this is some beautiful writing! I feel at peace reading such well-developed characters and metaphors! Or: SBDEHBIENFNDJNDSNLISNLOIAN >:( So, let's get into it, shall we? To start, the intro to this chapter was just great! I mean- It wasn't great for Ranboo, but his suffering is entertaining to me. The juxtaposition from the last chapter where Ranboo told Tubbo he was only a little stressed at most and that it wasn't too bad in regards to the Fundy situation vs Ranboo having literal night terrors based on weed which directly links to very traumatizing information that he just received through Fundy. As much as Ranboo wants to believe that mental lows like this are just cuz and not at all related to unaddressed trauma, the fact that he's having nightmares based around it is so reflective of his internal issues. And then the imagery here too was SO good as always. The way you chose to describe it came across as so stressful and desperate, and I could talk about your imagery for hours dude! (I already bring it up every time cs updates already lol) Who knew that an entire section dedicated to weed could be so unfunny and so tense? Now I want to talk about a stupid bastard, or as I described him in my notes, "BitchBitchBitch". I of course am talking about Dream. I hate him. I hate him so much. I want him dead, tossed into a river. So on one hand, excellent characterization. On the other, SFYUDHJLKGJDNA /POS. Dream subtly almost encouraging self-harm and suicidal idealization was enraging. Sure, Dream said a weak ass "I don't want you to die or anything" But he basically told Ranboo that he's going to start hurting himself against his own will and that it's inevitable, and SO CAUSALLY. (not to mention he didn't even talk Ranboo out of the self-harm part). This dumb fucker tells him to his face (not literally since it's a phone call) that he'll die long before him and laughs about all his vague threats, and it's so frustrating that Ranboo thinks he can confide in this green asshole. Like when he was thinking of who he could call to call down, saying no one has dealt with his lows, literally everyone he thought of before Dream would be both more understanding and comforting to him. And it is agonizing to see Dream so casually chipping away at Ranboo's already horrible self-image. I can't wait to see how the tension in their relationship builds and develops as you go on, because you are great at writing Dream scenes to be uncomfortable to read. Scenes with Dream and Ranboo are the equivalent of a festering infection that is both disgusting and uncomfortable, and also needs to be cut away for the wound(Ranboo) to heal. The section with Niki and Ranboo was so bittersweet to me. Because on one hand, awww they're bonding and Niki is being so supportive of Ranboo questioning his gender identity :D But on the other, Ranboo thinks either everyone he cares about will leave him or he'll leave them, which is so...saaaad. Still, this section was so...serene? I have no other way to describe this, but the descriptions and tone just felt like a slightly foggy morning with dewdrops on the grass. It was calm and carried that hidden sadness that not just Ranboo, but Niki has. And I like the touch that even if Ranbbo doesn't feel like he and Niki are real siblings like xe does, that they are through their actions. You excel at show don't tell in regards to characterization and relationship dynamics, because Ranboo knows her tells and when she's concealing pain but knows that there isn't a want to bring attention to it? That's some sibling energy man! And I'm also glad we're getting more cs!Niki, because xe has such a story that you can really feel haunts xem, and I love when sad gay characters interact with each other /hj.

And then that little part with Tommy and Ranboo is suspicious to me. For one, love the partially unspoken tension between the two which continues to be unaddressed out of both fear and contempt. Though the way Tommy seems to be wary of Ranboo's car in relation to Dream is definitely concerning to me (But I might just be thinking too hard lol) Anyway, great chapter! Caused me to angrily scribble in my notes 3 times, so props to you for making me want to punch the characters through my computer screen once again! Before the update, you referred to this chapter as filler, and I think this was no plain boring filler. No, no, no, I think this was like filler from avatar the last airbender! It may not contribute directly to the main plot, but it provides wonderful character insight, development, and builds relation dynamics which make the whole fic feel more connected and dynamic! :] Thank you for writing and I can't wait for the next cs tuesday! Wishing you the best rest of your day or night!! <333

HIII!!! HELP SDFJKFDSHJFDS THOSE R THE TWO MOODS I GET THAT

"but his suffering is entertaining to me" this is a good quote ; NO BUT GENUINELY so happy that you liked that sort of unreliable recounts from ranboo, if i can get all rambly for a sec ranboo's an interesting character to write because when you look at canon he really can't talk about a lot of what he's experienced like experiences this physical blockade, but he's not as secretive and repressed about things in the same way that tubbo is. so writing them is honestly really interesting because i constantly have to figure out how both of them process emotions and how they are with openness. i could ramble more about that but basically super SUPER happy you liked that bit!

you're so eloquent with these analyses i swear -- YEAH i'm really happy people like my dream characterization too because genuinely? he's like. he's REALLY hard to write honestly because the thing about abuse is that even if two people share an abuser that person may respond to them both differently. meaning a lot of what it comes down to with cs!dream and cs!ranboo is drawn from canon and also personal experience but the latter can't really be used so strongly because it varies so much, which is what makes it really fascinating to try and figure out but i'm glad i'm able to write him in a realistic and unsettling way because that's the goal. cs!dream is a person who understands cs!ranboo's insecurities very well and that's the horror of it

i never even imagined that scene being considered serene but it means the world that you called it that and i'm going to remember that forever thank you <3. i'm really happy to hear also that i'm good with show don't tell because admittedly that's one of the weak spots i had especially when i started writing years ago so it's really nice to hear that i'm able to show their bond without saying it :]

>:] so excited to grow their tension fr!!!

youre literally the kindest ever galaxy i appreciate u so much :D thank you thank you thank you