#i was gonna be nice but honestly this reblog just pissed me off

[19burstraat]

ketterdam dashboard simulator 2 (electric boogaloo)

(first one here)

❌ urkerchfaveisproblematic follow

Who submitted Kaz Brekker. don't take the piss he's literally wanted every other Wednesday

🍃 squallertales follow

Wait what did Brekker do

🌊 boekcanaling

Girl what DIDN'T he do

🦁 dimelionsofficial follow

Ghezen's Day Piss Up starts TONIGHT at the Kaelish Prince! Come down before four bells and get ten kruge off your first drinks purchase and an extra spin on Makker's Wheel!

👤 dregsofficial

545.06.7.9

🦁 dimelionsofficial follow

HOW DID YOU GET PAST THE FUCKING VPN. FUCK YOU KAZ BREKKER. FUCK YOU SO MUCH. YOU DO THIS EVERY TIME. WE'RE NOT EVEN DOING ANYTHING TO YOU. WE'RE ALL JUST PEOPLE WITH JOBS. TRYING TO GET BY. MOST OF US NEVER EVEN SPOKE TO ROLLINS. THIS IS SO TWISTED. YOUR ACTUALLY WRONG IN THE HEAD. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU. I ACTUALLY CAN'T DEAL WITH THIS ANYMORE. I'M SICK.

👤 dregsofficial

*you're

❓lidandstavessuggestions

#234: build mickey's dick smasher between east and west stave

🍷dregsconfessions

So I've been a dregs member for a long time (I'm in my 30s now) and back when I was a new grunt I was especially trolleyed at the Crow Club, and I ended up spilling like half my pint on the head of one of Haskell's feral little runners, yk one of the little kids?? I just kind of mopped him with my sleeve and said sorry and figured that it was the end of it... however it has occurred to me lately that it actually might have been Kaz. Honestly I never could tell the difference between all the kids, and I didn't look properly at him, but now I've been waking up in a cold sweat several times a week thinking about it. Is it time for me to retire from the gang life

#submisson #admin comment: lately all of these have just been ppl embarrassing themselves in front of kaz

🧇 stroopwafels

There's definitely blogs on here that are undercover advertising for the Dregs btw. I accuse that one that thirstposts abt Dirtyhands

🧤 dirtyhandsy follow

:( no I'm a Razorgull actually

🧇 stroopwafels

WHAT???????

🧤 dirtyhandsy follow

I have eyes :/

🧇 stroopwafels

You won't for much longer if your boss finds out omfg

🃏 makkerswheelies follow

you guys are cowards for not wanting to fuck Brekker. Out of my way ghezenboy I'm bout to get it

🃏 makkerswheelies follow

My wallet is Gone

💀 dregsundrained follow

Kaz Brekker isn't violent. Dirtyhands is. Get it right

🏵️ cillasfryup

Gonna rob a bank tomorrow and when the stadwatch come I'm gonna tell them it was my alter ego Countess Boochie Flagrante

🙏🏻 thumbofghezen follow

sooooo sick of seeing people say that the council of tides shouldn't have complete control over kerch shipping. they stop the island from sinking??? every day?? have some respect

⛲ sanktvladimirs

idk about you guys but I'd be popping the BIGGEST bottles if kerch started sinking

🏵️ cillasfryup

me and the girls when kerch starts sinking

🌊 boekcanaling

staff please let me reblog ads please please please please

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

guys you have 24 hours to unfollow sanktvladimirs not only are they impersonating and mocking real etherealki and real saints (they are NOT a member of the second army) they're a dregs member, and I bet they're a fucking ka/nej too

⛲ sanktvladimirs

@ dregsofficial

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

I DIDN'T MEAN IT LIKE THAT

💪🏻 lionsroar12 follow

WHO SENT ME AN ANON ASK WITH MY ADDRESS

🍷dregsundrained

guys I was looking at the wiki contributions who the fuck added a jesper fahey page to the dregs wiki... from inside the stadhall???

🥳 pearlhandledrevolvers

you know what. don't even worry about it

liked by dregsofficial

🍃 squallertales follow

the wraith was only seventeen when she started hunting slavers???? she should have been at the club

#DON'T crawl out of the woodwork and say 'oh the crow club-' #the REAL CLUB. for FUN

🎨 dekappelfan follow

🎨 dekappelfan follow

it's so nice to know no one agrees on this

[popstart]

Hi, i was the anon who sent this ask, and now that you are talking about this issue, i will talk about one of the accounts you talked about.

"Oh yeah, let's ignore ALL the good things Duncan Said about Courtney and ALL the times Courtney defended him in the season, and Just sum up their ENTIRE relationship on one of their worst episodes"

Now, don't get me wrong, i hated Duncney in "Top Dog", but summing up them in Just it is so weird.

Also, the "Duncan was scared of Courtney 🥺" pisses me off so much, like can his fans STOP babying a whole criminal?

Oh my fucking God, this is a low blow.

Again, summing Duncan and Courtney's relationship in Just "Top Dog" is weird, but doing this just to make Gwen and Duncan's relationship less worse is disturbing.

Ok, let's see Duncan's ENTIRE confessional.

"Aw, man! I only came back for Gwen! She better not sulk the whole time, or i might as Well date Courtney-"

Wow, dehumanising Duncney and Gwourtney shippers by calling them maniacs. Incredible. Also, i've seen her (the user goes by any pronouns) Interacting with the shippers, and they were Nice?! This Just makes her look like an annoying and immature child.

Again, dehumanising Duncney and Gwourtney shippers by calling them terrifying. Incredible.

Ok, she reblogged this shit. Oh my god, the way i'm gonna scream now.

SHE THOUGHT IT WAS PART OF THE CHALLENGE! THIS ISN'T COMPARABLE AT ALL! ALSO, DIDN'T YOU WATCH THE EPISODE? OR YOU JUST SAW THIS CLIP OUT OF CONTEXT AND WENT LIKE "Oh, yeah, this one is gonna work to make Cuntney like a Cheater hehehe"? BECAUSE IT SEEMS LIKE IT!

The way Courtney antis try the most possible to make Courtney look like the Devil incarnate is uncomfortable as fuck.

Also, I'm really Glad this post's OP is now deactivated. I was already not standing this user in the Duncney tag talking shit anymore.

This is an excerpt of her fanfic (The Wattpad account is on the bio)

The fanfic is about a Duncan in xem (the pronouns in the fanfic) 30s now who, along other old contestants (Courtney and Gwen are two of them) and new ones, is kidnapped to a new reality show hosted by Chris. During this reality show, xe finds a magic necklace, which is obviously important.

I'm going to admit, i actually liked the fanfic and (*GASP*) Gwen and Duncan's relationship in It, but i would've liked It more If, every time Courtney appeared, she wouldn't be treated like a "monster who traumatized Duncan forever and should die painfully 🥺".

Anyway, talking about the necklace, It is obviously searched, so one of these people invades the show with a gun and threatens Duncan and the people with xem, but Duncan DIDN'T give them It, so they actually tried to shoot xem, making a whole mess.

Now, that's my problem with this excerpt: Courtney is, again, treated like an annoying bitch, even though she has ALL the right to Get angry over Duncan.

Like, what do you Mean that you will not give a necklace to a person who threats you with a gun BECAUSE of it, which is worse when you are along people, including MINORS, who didn't have to do with it, threatning their lives too?!

Seriously, the way some of Courtney's haters Go as Far as they can to disregard her feelings is so disturbing i can't-

(Sorry about the bad English, It isn't my First language)

YEAH i saw all of this on their account and i just sighed. that one post they reblogged about how "unfaithful" courtney is especially pisses me off because they showed way more evidence for duncan being the unfaithful one then ended up spinning it into a duncan baby boy gwu'ncan win moment. what! that entire post was about how all three people in that situation werent good yet the conclusion they (and the op) came to is that gwun'can good courtney bad duncney bad 🥴the reach of all reaches

its honestly just double standard after double standard and it pisses me off so much. they just jump through hoops to defend their hatred of courtney and any ship with her that they end up missing a key point of their own damn posts LMFAO. its just sooo uncomfortable how much theyre willing to defend a white boy and a white girl that they provided textbook evidence themself about them not being saints yet praise them for being good people yet completely demonize the hell out of courtney and for what 💀

also the cherry picking is EXTREMELY prominent here. the "how duncan looks at courtney vs how he looks at gwen" thing is extra amusing to me because literally 3 seconds later duncan talks about how much he loves courtney DJSHGSFKJA. extremely amusing. anyways, anyone that knows their shit will see through the complete bullshit these kindsa people post but the thing that scares me is that theyre not just posting into the void, they have plenty of notes on their pretty blatant creepyness and it just. auhgghhh.

it really gets to me and the thing is, they dont care a damn bit. they see anyone who likes courtney as completely demonic so they WANT to piss people like me off but they end up going about it in completely misogynistic and racist ways. at the end of the day, i dont think i can change anyones opinions about what they should or shouldnt like, i just hope people can look inwards about why something like a fictional character being a "bad person" can anger them so much more if the person in question is a 16 year old brown girl rather than a white boy of the same age.

[dykeyuu]

i’m not gonna actually reblog it bc i don’t feel like getting dogpiled but this is the most allistic take i’ve seen in a hot fucking minute like first of all since when are the two options “mind numbing small talk” and “traumadumping your deepest darkest secrets” like there’s a middle ground… there is talking in a meaningful and connected non-small talk way that also isn’t therapy session-level sharing😭 and secondly i cannot fathom on any level how it would be enjoyable to engage in small talk with anyone. like im not “speedrunning” anything i am just having a conversation as a human being and as a human being i do not want to engage in some pre-constructed social ritual that i can barely navigate half the time, that drains me energetically and affords me no sense of connectedness (and usually feels like it alienates me even more). if having a human conversation with someone makes you uncomfortable that’s not my fucking problem. if you don’t understand how one might feel glimpses of connectedness from a conversation with a stranger that is also not my problem— obviously i’m not looking for emotional intimacy with the cashier at the grocery store or whatever but that doesn’t mean that there’s no human connection when we chat for a couple minutes about some life experience or something. connectedness isn’t a sigmoidal response you can find human connection in people you meet once in your whole life and in people that you see once in a while and in people that you’ll never actually be that close to. anyways i think what primarily pissed me off was the all or nothing framing of the issue because it’s a dire misrepresentation of the experiences of at least some of the people op is referring to, and also the phrasing of the post makes it evident that op is painfully allistic and probably unkind to the autistic people in her life.

idk like of course the post feels directed more towards people who are vocal about hating small talk and use it as a way to exit a conversation they don’t want to have but i honestly don’t see a problem with that beyond it being a bit of a social blunder— but i have no problem with people committing social blunders like that because i think that unspoken social rules are confusing and frustratingly difficult to follow 100% of the time. i view small talk as the thing i have to get through to have a normal conversation but there are definitely times when i don’t have the mental energy to deal with it. besides, people in the notes are saying the most vile shit where they’re obviously taking “i don’t like small talk mfs” as code for autistics

like fundamentally i actually agree with op that you can’t just jump right into a breakdown of every trauma you’ve ever endured and that it’s important to be able to engage in a conversation about something other than yourself (and that it’s pretty irritating to ask someone how their day was and have them reply “oh i don’t do small talk”) but i just think the way the argument is presented is really hostile to autistics and misrepresentative of a lot of people who struggle with allistic social rituals

i think this is also an important point to make: when i say small talk i mean “weather’s nice today” type stuff, not like surface level get-to-know-you type conversation or chatting about interests, and i think people tend to have a muddled definition of small talk where anything that isn’t trauma dumping is small talk. i won’t start talking about hyperpolarization/all or nothing thinking in society’s collective perception of the world but know im thinking about it <3

[littlelordalphinaud]

Honestly I'm still mad at Tumblr for wiping out my tags.

Now, unless I'm reblogging something with no prev, about one of the characters in my most used tags (which mercifully survived) it instead has to go into my drafts and wait for me to go through and add tags to it via copy and paste from earlier in my blog.

And it's SO FUCKING ANNOYING.

I had 6/700 posts queued when they took my tags and that number was steadily going up, because even with stuff being freshly posted, I was queueing up loads of stuff. Because I COULD do it quick and easy.

Open up the post, type ( and the start of the characters name. Wham, bam, thank you ma'am, nicely organised post, into my queue!

Now, going thru my drafts is a JOB and if Firefox on my phone decides to play silly fuckers with me trying to copy my old tags (which is what happened today) I'm SOL and just left grumpy.

But also I refuse to give up my tags. I LIKE the organisation of it and knowing that if I click on a character tag, I'm gonna find more of that character on my blog. I put thought into them, matching them to the NPCs/OCs/WOLs accordingly.

But it does genuinely piss me off that now it takes so much more fucking effort to run this blog because Tumblr decided to just wipe my fucking tags.

[mangywayway]

aaaa i agree sm with ur post about his hair 🥹🥹 i saw that post on how you “SHOULD” draw and colour his hair and it felt to entitled and snobbish to me 😭 like bruv ur art is very nice but DO NOT come in here with some superiority complex “I AM THe One who draws Him right!!” like actually piss off?? everyone can draw a character however the fuck they want and you shouldn’t shame ppl or make them feel any less for how they wanna draw billy 😤😤😤 its a FANDOM ppl r gonna do whatever the fuck they want and NONE OF US can judge another for it?? if the hair rly annoys u then just scroll past 😅😅 anyways THANK YOU for standing on business i felt like i was the only one bothered by that post and I DONT EVEN DRAW HIM THAT MUCH, to me hes a pretty blonde baby but to someone else hes a dirty blonde on the cusp of brunette and THATS FINE

that post annoyed me to the point of had to go through my fav artist of billy and reblog all the art with his golden locks 🙈🙈🙈

AAAAAA THANK YOU ANON

I honestly didn't expect to see so many people agreeing with me about this but I'm honestly glad that I wasn't the only one bothered about it.

Also big, BIG KUDOS to you for having shared all the art from your favorite artist! That's the way to do it 💖✨✨

[yuzukult]

hello! i stayed up late last night just to read "yours but not yours" and i wanted to express how much i loved it, i'm sorry it won't make much sense, it's almost like a stream of consciousness lol i really liked the hints you left here and there for ex. cheol being actually from a rich rich rich family, yubin having some kind of second motive for pushing yn with namjoon, it was really good foreshadowing! i really like your way of painting a scene, like you give enough details to allow us to imagine what you're describing but it's not the super detailed long paragraphs you get bored reading. also, your vocabulary is really good like it's sophisticated yet simple, like it's not prententious, yk what i mean?? okay now back to the story, my heart when she read the news??? omfg like i was pretty sure he was not involved in the crash but my anxiety📈📈 and when he came out of the car and they hugged?? i was drowning in my own tears. and i felt so bad for him when at the cabin he realized that she didn't actually belive him, my heart broke in two ;(( i was hoping they'd make up and that they'd end up having sex there at the cabin, but tbh seeing what their "tension" led up to i didn't really mind anymore. that's another thing that i loved about how you wrote this, like despite the inevitable clichés, they didn't really go how i thought and it was even better! last but not least, i LOVE LOVE LOVE cheol in this fic, he's manly but not toxic, protective but not jealous, he's flirty but not pushy, he respects her so much and he's so cute and endearing omg did i say that i love him???? i also really like that - as far as i understood from the cuts - when they had sex he was not ""dom"", like yk sometimes in fan fiction the roles are taken too seriously and sex is reduced to pp but most of the times sex is not like that, there is not a dom and a sub, there's just someone that takes the lead and it's so much more realistic so thank you! i can't imagine what's going to happen next and it makes me so excited ajdnshinkf is rowoon gonna piss cheol off? is cheol gonna make this worse?? or are they finally gonna make up??? anyway, thanks for taking your time to write this, you could be doing other things but you give us this masterpiece?? wow. thank u so so so much♡♡♡ sending you lots of love and good energy!

☹️ honestly i had to read this a couple times bc it made me feel so ☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️

thank you !! seriously, thank you !! i get comments / reblogs and etc on my fics - sometimes get asks talking about their reactions and i just :( it’s always so nice to hear your thoughts and opinions & this :( honestly just the amt that you wrote made me all ☹️☹️

i admit when i first saw this message, it motivated me to write a bit HAHA it’s nice to hear that i made you, as a reader, feel… well, feelings !!

tysm! hopefully i have a chapter coming up soon.

[1d1195]

HELP THE WAY HES SO DOWN BAD FOR HER LITERALLY HAD ME BLUSHING AHHDHSHAHA YOURE AMAZING THE “This is better than an undefeated record😍” TEXT HAD ME GOING🤭🤭🤭 HAHAHAHA

i genuinely can’t wait for more of them and the end ??? omg plssss tell me he finds out and he gets pissed and overprotective bc i would genuinely MELT into a puddle he’s so perfect

funny cause black and white is one of my TOPS from him for sure. also when The Show came out i was obsessed with you could start a cult. (i was so obsessed with the whole album actually it was on repeat for the longest time but ykyk)

i’m going to come clean. i’m a swiftie✋ not the crazy i’m-waiting-outside-her-door-and-stalking-her-jet-swiftie but im a huge fan of her music. (the anti-hero thing is sooo real of you) i’m gonna recommend a few of her songs for you though just for if you ever feel like listening to them !!

Slut! (don’t be put off by the title this is actually such a cutesy love song it’s one of my absolute FAVORITES by her)

Cornelia street, Call it what you want, New year’s day, Afterglow, State of grace (acoustic), Red, High infidelity , I don’t wanna live forever ft. zayn, Clean, King of my heart, Maroon, My tears ricochet, Ivy, You’re on your own kid, Treacherous, The 1, Cardigan

OMG that was me trying to hold back i’m so sorry but if you ever listen to these let me know i’d love to hear your opinion !!

~🎶

I love the idea of texting Harry so I try to throw it in as much as possible in my writing but I def feel like I hit a winner with this one hehehe No comment on overprotective in the coming part(s) 🤭😉

I LOVED On My Own by Niall as well. It sometimes pops into my head while I'm just hanging out. I think he's so real for saying he'd marry his bed. Extremely relatable.

I love that you're a swiftie! She writes and sings really great music and it's not secret she's created an amazing musical culture for herself and her fans. It's really nice! I'm excited to see what songs I'll like off her new album. Definitely sounds like an album I'll appreciate.

I do like tons of songs by her. I think it's pretty hard not to when they're everywhere. I love You're on Your Own Kid, it came out when my first group of students i ever taught were graduating that summer and I was a mess. Honestly just thinking about it makes me teary 😭

Taylor ft. Zayn was SO crazy to me, I loved it so much. I think Red is such a bop tbh hahahaha The rest you mentioned I don't think I've ever given a full listen! But I will def reblog and let you know once I give them all a listen. I loved 1989 because of Harry of course. Style, Out of the Woods, Wildest Dreams, This Love, You Are in Love 😍 BUT Say Don't Go is WOW I think I played it, I don't know, 9000 times between October and December. I think it was the ONLY song I played. There are so many more songs I like by her but I don't want to bore you! I will give your recommendations a listen and report back!!!

xoxo

[fanby-fckry]

🕯️🧃

Writers Truth & Dare Ask Game

Thank you for the ask!

🕯️ ⇢ on a scale from 1 to 10, how much do you enjoy editing? why is that?

Hmm, I’m gonna say 8. I actually do enjoy editing quite a bit.

In the earlier stages, I can find placeholders which are usually pretty funny, and even barring that, I just kinda like it.

There are definitely times where I get too into my own head on something, or when spellcheck/grammarcheck are annoying, but more often than not, it’s nice.

Idk if HTML formatting counts as part of editing, but I like doing that, too. It’s a little monotonous sometimes, but it gives me a chance to reread my work because I manually add HTML to my google doc in order to copy-paste it to AO3. (Is there a better way to do that? Probably. But I like my way. :P)

🧃 ⇢ share some personal lore you never posted about before

When I first reblogged this, I thought this meant like… character lore, not my lore, but after rereading, I’m pretty sure it means me?

Hmm… How about a 2 in 1?

I mentioned UH3!Alastor’s father recently – how he was an on-again-off-again presence in Alastor’s life while he was young, and how this contributed to Alastor developing BPD symptoms.

This is based on my own relationship with my father! Unlike Alastor’s parents, my parents were married – were, they’re now happily divorced – and living together, but my father was very much an absent father despite that.

Content Warning: child abuse/child endangerment, both real and fictional

…

…

…

My father worked a lot during my early childhood, and it seemed like when he came home, it was basically just to yell at the rest of us or enforce some kind of control/punishment.

He also used to just leave me places when I upset him. Oh, you’re 11 years old and being “disrespectful” in my car? Pulling over now. Get out and walk. Doesn’t matter if we’re in another town hours from home. This makes you a target for stranger abductions? Shoulda thought of that before you talked back (read: said “no,” cried, asked for clarification, tried to withdraw from the conversation, etc.).

I honestly think that I would have less abandonment issues and possibly not have BPD at all if my dad had fucked off permanently when I was a baby rather than sticking around and being a dick about it.

I’m writing Alastor’s situation as being very similar. He would probably be less fucked up if he was raised exclusively by his mother, but nope! His father pops in every now and again to be a negative presence in his life. And then seals the deal on Al’s abandonment issues by finally fucking off for good only once Alastor is old enough to register it.

Also, the dude definitely left baby Al in the woods on at least one of those hunting trips Alastor mentioned in Bloodlust and Butterflies. Just got pissed off and left.

And I don’t think Alastor told his mother because he didn’t want to bother her with it.

[irishvampireboy]

I am... gonna rant. Cuz I've been feeling... some type of way.

That way is very very very pissed off, by the way, just to set the mood for what's under that readmore. 😤😤😤

Okay so.... ive been posting more writing on my writing blog. And its been nice. People have been nice.

But here's the thing. And yes this is about the like/reblog ratio again. Because its been upsetting me. And yes im also on my period so im even more emotionally wacky but i have to get this out.

I made a small, teeny tiny vent post, that was incredibly sarcastic and bitchy and very clearly just me venting my own shit. I even explained in the tags that i was feeling really disheartened by it all and just needed to let out my feelings. And then i got this response:

And i GET it. People like things for reasons and blah blah blah BUT . I didnt know this person, nor did they know me. And they talked to me like i didnt fucking know how this goddamn website works, like i don't goddamn live here. It is not the same as any of that. "Its not that deep" I dont KNOW you!!! And you dont know ME! maybe it is! Maybe it IS that deep to me. I was obviously feeling upset enough to make a ranty post???

And they talked about not wanting things on their blog but they reblogged my personal bitchy post with a comment.... like... that could have been a reply!!! Or even better.... dont say fucking anything. It wasnt even a fandom blog. I dont know how they found the post, i didnt even tag it. I assume they follow someone who reblogged it, but i dont think it had that many reblogs. NOT THE POINT!

The point is, mainly, that... its nice getting attention for writing. Or any art you put out onto this little website, but like... my writing blog, which I've had for YEARS just NOW hit 10,000 likes like a couple days ago. And im not trying to sound ungrateful. Because likes are nice. They really are. I like posts all the time.

But the fact that i wrote a 12,000 word fic the other day, posted it, and it has 15 fucking notes, total. 2 of which are mine, because i reblogged it on my main blog. 5 total reblogs. And only one of those has tags. I understand that not everyone uses tags, thats chill.

BUT!!!! The fic was even NSFW and i dont write that super often, but its what i see most, its a popular genre, and the fic STILL only has 15 notes.

And it just... feels like I'm doing something wrong? Like, no matter what kind of fic i post, if it not just a tiny text post it feels like no one interacts or cares at all. And it just... fucking ... it's disheartening and exhausting and it fucking hurts.

Like why do i even fucking write anything? Or post anything? If no one gives a shit? Like, people dont get it, i know artists and gif makers, and literally anyone putting out content gets it. Because we put in hard fucking work and then get nothing back???

Like i have this amazing fic idea about plus size reader x eddie munson and i KNOW its gonna be fucking cute. Its eating away at my brain its so cute. But like.... .... i don't even want to write it now. Because no one will care. No one will interact with it.

It just sucks. I wanna write stuff and share stuff and know that people like it too. But like, if people only interact with posts that are like a paragraph long why the fuck should i even keep writing and posting stuff?

And i know im not the only one who feels this way. And it sucks. But to be complaining about it in my own space and have someone fucking come onto my post and tell me "it's not that deep".... like honestly, fuck you.

ESPECIALLY since i didn't know them??? And they didn't know me. And then came and talked down to me like I'm an idiot who doesn't know how this website works.

This is a sharing website. Its based on shares and sharing and thats how things get more views, and get more people into things, and the sharing and nice comments from others is what sparks more creativity and sparks more art and writing and gifsets and content.

And i don't know where im going with this, i don't really have an aim here i just needed to fucking rant. Because i got pissed off about it again and needed to let it out. But its goddamn exhausting when i put my heart and feelings and shit into my writing and then just... no one cares or interact or whatever and just uugghhh

IT'S VERY FRUSTRATING AND ITS MAKING ME FEEL GROSS AND UPSET AND I JUST WANNA ENJOY WRITING!!!!

[kirishimaswife2819]

When Their S/o is on Their Period || BNHA Boy Headcanons

Masterlist

Pairings: Izuku Midoriya x Fem!Reader, Katsuki Bakugou x Fem!Reader, Eijiro Kirishima x Fem!Reader, Shoto Todoroki x Fem!Reader, and Denki Kaminari x Fem!Reader

Summary: How the boys act when you’re on your period

Word Count: 1.6k

A/n: I wrote this because my period is supposed to come in like two days and I am not very excited at all. Anyway, I hope you like these headcanons, and requests are still open and all that, just read the rules first. Also, thanks for everyone who has liked/reblogged any of my posts or even followed me, I really appreciate it. Hope you all have a great day/night! :) -Danielle <3

Izuku Midoriya:

If you don’t tell him ahead of time that you’re going to be on your period and you snap at him he’s gonna get so upset

Like he’s going to think about every little thing that happened for the past few weeks and try to see where he went wrong

Then when you tell him you’re on your period, he’s going to just freeze, and then start to panic

His face gets all red, but he still asks if you if you need anything

If you send this boy to the store to get pads/tampons, expect him to be gone for a solid few hours

When he firsts gets to aisle, he stands there, because he knows absolutely nothing about pad/tampons, and he doesn’t know what brand to get

So then, he takes out his phone and starts typing, and trying to do research, but google isn’t helping him decide what to get at all

So, then the nice old lady restocking the shelves, offers to help, noticing how he’s panicking

He still ends up getting a few different brands, but that’s okay

If you get bad cramps, like really bad, he’s definitely going to cry

He hates seeing you in pain

If you are having cramps he’ll give you some medicine he bought and offer you a heating pad

After he gets you feeling a little better, he’s going to give you all the snacks he got you and offer to cuddle and watch whatever you want with him

Overall, even though he gets really embarrassed about it, he’ll still help you if you need him to

Katsuki Bakugou:

If you snap at him, he’s going to like brush it off, but after the second or third time he’s going to go off on you

But once you tell him you’re on your period he’s going to be so confused

Not because he doesn’t know what it is, but because he has no clue what he’s supposed to do about it

He’ll apologize for going off on you

By apologize I mean that he’ll mumble sorry under his breath so that you can barely hear it

But I mean it’s Bakugou, so just take what you can get

He probably wouldn’t offer to go anywhere to get you anything

But if you ask him, he’ll go (Only after complaining the whole time getting ready to leave though)

He’s going to make sure you tell him what brand of pads/tampons to get so he doesn’t have to embarrass himself in front of people in the store

If the cashier says one word about him buying them or gives him a weird look, he’s going to get very pissed

“They’re for my girlfriend, now stop giving me weird ass looks and comments and just scan the damn things!”

He’ll probably end up grabbing more snacks or chocolate than you asked for but if you ask why he did that, he’s going to say it was a total accident, even though it wasn’t

After he brings you the stuff he’ll just crash in your bed, and demand cuddles

But he won’t ask, he’ll just pull you to him and cuddle you

The first time you’re on your period around him, he’s pretty embarrassed but hides it, but with time, he gets used to it and it doesn’t bother him anymore

Although no matter if he’s sixteen and buying pads/tampons for you or seventy and buying pads/tampons for you, he’s still going to end up yelling at the poor cashier, even if they don’t comment or give him a look

Eijiro Kirishima:

I may be a bit biased because I absolutely love Kirishima (if you couldn’t tell), but I am convinced that he would be the best boyfriend in every way

And that includes when you’re on your period

If you snap at him, he’s going to get a little upset, but immediately ask what’s wrong and try to figure out what the issue is

After you tell him, he’s going to panic but hide it so he doesn’t alarm you

Immediately offers to go get you anything you need

But he’s so eager to help you out, he forgets to ask what brand of pads or tampons to buy 

So now he’s in the feminine hygiene product aisle, standing next to some twelve year old girl whose low key too embarrassed to grab a box of pads in front of some teenage boy

So she’s just standing there, waiting for him to leave, but he’s trying to figure out which box to buy, so he’s like looking at all of them and picking them up, trying to figure out the difference between all of them

And the girl goes to quickly grab a box and run off, but then he speaks

“Wait, can you help me?”

And the girl low key just wants to disappear right then and there, but she helps him anyway

This man walks away with a few different brands of pads/tampons in his arms not realizing he just traumatized some little girl by asking her for advice on getting his girlfriend pads/tampons

Then he grabs you some snacks, medicine, and whatever else you wanted, before checking out and leaving

He like rushes home because he was taking so long and he was worried about you

But when he like bursts into your room, you’re literally fine, and just chilling eating some stale chips, and watching some Netflix

Kirishima immediately takes away your stale chips, and gives you the stuff he bought

So now you guys are eating the new and not stale chips while binge watching your favorite Netflix show for the fiftieth time

Shoto Todoroki:

I only have three words: Human Heating Pad

But seriously, if you have cramps, and you tell him heat helps, he’s definitely going to offer for you to use his hand as a heating pad

Once he learns that you’re on your period, he’s going to try his best to help, but he knows nothing about them despite having a sister

After taking a moment to compose himself after initial shock of you telling him, he’s going to offer to go to the store for you

So, now he’s in the aisle, trying to figure out what brand to get

He had tried calling you, but you must of been napping, because you didn’t pick up

Eventually he decides to call his sister and ask for some help

His sister proceeds to tell him about pads and tampons and how they work

He ends up writing some of the stuff down in his notes on his phone so he knows for next time and doesn’t forget

Then he’ll get whatever else you want

He’ll probably end up grabbing something extra too

Like a little gift such a plushie or a necklace, since he now knows periods really suck

He ends up getting you a gift every time your on your period (with Endeavor’s credit card of course), so it kind of morphs into a little tradition even though you insist that he doesn’t need to do it

But once he returns to home, you apologize for not answering, since you were in fact napping, but he quickly shuts you down and gives you everything he had got for you

Then you use his hand as your personal heating pad and talk about your lives

Overall, he’s pretty calm about the situation, and doesn’t make it a bigger deal than it needs to be

Denki Kaminari:

When you snap, or if you snap, he’s probably just going to brush it off

But the second time you snap at him, he makes some dumb remark

Probably something like, “Damn is it that time of the month or something?”

That gets him a textbook to his face

He’s honestly surprised with your response to his question

“Actually, yeah! Asshole! Now, if you’re gonna be a jerk, get the hell out and leave me alone!”

He was only joking and didn’t expect you to actually say yes

After you admit that you being on your period is the problem, he doesn’t know what to do

He knows the basics of a period, he knows you bleed, and like chocolate, and you sometimes get cramps, but other than that he has no idea how to handle the situation

After a moment of trying to figure out what to do, he asks if you need anything

Now he’s in the store, trying to figure out what a ‘flow’ is, and why pads and tampons are so expensive

He ends up calling Kirishima to come help, who has no clue what to do either

Then they turn it into a group call by adding Bakugou and Sero

Bakugou calls them ‘fucking stupid’ but doesn’t know shit about periods either so when they ask him for help he makes up some excuse for not telling Kaminari what to do

Sero is actually helpful and tells him to just get one of each type of flow, since Kaminari refuses to call you and ask (R.I.P. Kaminari’s wallet)

Kaminari thanks him, and then they end the call

Then he gets whatever else you asked for, before heading home

When he gets there, he awkwardly hands you the bag and asks if you need anything else

When you say you want him to stay, he’s immediately jumping into your bed and cuddling with you

He thought since you were on your period, you wouldn’t want to be around him and it low key made him kind of sad, cause he would miss you

Then you guys spend the rest of the night scrolling through Tik Tok, and laughing along to videos

At some point, you end up seeing the thing girls do on Tik Tok where they ask their boyfriend’s how pads work

When Kaminari continues watching the video, and learns how pads actually work, he’s like turns to you and is like

“Wait, the sticky part doesn’t stick to your vagina?”

Somebody please help this poor idiot

[caroldantops]

since I thought it might be helpful and I’ve been playing around with tumblr’s new shitshow of a feature, i’ve decided to post a little something on how i’ve been able to steer clear of my posts/reblogs/blog being hidden 

A lot of this is repeated info, and grabbing things from other posts, but I think putting it in one post might be helpful, and I specifically have things to add that might be more helpful for fic writers on tumblr 

luckily, i honestly think that fic writers are better off than gifmakers, who i think out of the content creator side of things, are the most affected by this. (i’m not gonna get into the intricacies of how fucked up this all is here, i’m just gonna post what i’ve found to help keep our community thriving bc i have no where else to go with my horny fics)

See this post for the basics. And here’s a post that contains the link to the list of banned tags.  A lot of stuff here will be repeated from there, but I’m combining some info here.

IMPORTANT NOTE: This only affects iOS products. And I think even if you’re on an Apple device that’s not a phone, you should be able to access things as normal through your browser? This is the one thing i’m unsure of since I use a PC

ADDITIONALY: this only seems to be affecting the tags. I’ve tested banned words in the body of the posts themselves, and they still show up so long as there is not a banned tag. So there’s no need to worry about that thankfully.

Reiterating the post linked above, any post that is reblogged using a banned tag also will not show up on people’s dashboards. Even if it isn’t your original post, or the original post didn’t contain the tags. 

So just avoid those banned tags in all regards. 

However! I’ve found that there are some ways to avoid tumblr detecting tags. For example, one of the banned words is #piss, so i kept messing around with different versions of that tag. (no one @ me ok i just needed something to test)

Interestingly enough, #piss was banned. But #piss play, #p!ss, and #piss /, were NOT banned. 

So, small little edits to the tags do make them work completely fine. We can truly take tumblr’s shit and make it help us again. I just noticed in the document that it says at the bottom that even simply adding a period to the end of the tag works. 

If you have your writing tagged with things like ‘mine’ and anything else listed, I’d change that immediately or else your stuff will never show up. I personally suggest making it something like “silver writes” (that’s mine) 

This tag replacer notes that they suggest waiting to see if the change is permanent, because the tumblr announcement did say it might not be. Ultimately it’s up to you, but also note that changing a ton of tags at once can get you flagged as a spam bot. So perhaps create a temporary new tag, or change posts individually, or just wait it out. Dealer’s choice. 

If you’re like me and tag posts with individual warnings, you’ll need to double check that banned list and edit your warning tags. Most writers I know put their warnings in the post itself anyway, so this probably isn’t a huge issue. But having those above workarounds are nice for this. 

Don’t forget that your reblogs are affected! If you reblog other people’s fics, don’t let them get subjected to getting blocked on people’s dashboards! 

I know this wasn’t like a ton of new info, but hopefully compiling it into one post is helpful for people!  

[midnightreid]

if they wanna be so rude they can kindly piss off and write it themselves <3

NO but you are exactly right anon.

(Cue big rant...this was not my plan but good to say it.)

I think the persons exact words were: "you need me so all the Billy stans will read your shitty Eddie fics" which I find hilarious cause, c'mon, I fucking cannot stand Billy stans, and second, my fics are doing great without that lot, I don't need fans who protect a racist abuser.

Except, I was talking to a friend about this recently and he had this great, I dunno, analogy maybe, that was this:

The reader is the beast, constantly needing to be entertained, satisfied, fed, kept happy. And the writer is its carer, the person who does everything it can to keep the beast happy, until suddenly the carer is exhausted, can't keep up with the beasts demands, and next thing you know, the only way the beast is satisfied is by EATING the carer.

I think people on this app who DON'T create content, don't actually understand how much it can be for people. So many creators I know suffered burnout, had to take breaks for mental health, or they just left this app altogether because it was too much. We do all the grunt work (and don't get me wrong 90% of the time I enjoy it) and in return we get some likes, MAYBE a few reblogs if we're lucky, and the occasional nice comment.

LOOK, most people here love creating, but honestly, the treatment we get in return for doing requests and fics and everything else, often makes people feel like shit. So before you send that ask, or that DM, fucking think about what you're saying, what you're asking of a creator, and ask yourself "if I was in their shoes, would I feel okay getting a ask/dm like this?" And if that answer is no, and you know you're gonna cause harm or make someone feel like shit, THEN DON'T FUCKING SEND IT.

[lazychickensoup]

okay here’s a second try at angst so ya, not really ship but tsukkiyama moment (idfk reblog pls I’m desperate for attention.) (kinda a kinnie moment lol)

Tadashi. poor boy, his anxiety is gonna be the death of him. he first started developing it in his fourth year of primary school. He didn’t really say anything about it to anyone because when he brought it up to his dad he told him that “everyone goes through it” like it was just puberty or something and was also told to “man up”. So he kinda went through his primary years a complete mess. The worst thing about it was his insecurities always got the better of him. To the point where he would get so self-conscious in class that he would ask to go to the bathroom to get through his anxiety attacks. It was so bad one time the school had to call his mom because he was staying with her that week and she had to come to pick him up. (yes he has divorced parents fight me) when she asked him why he never said anything about how he was feeling he told her everything that his dad said and that pissed. her. off. After an hour of her screaming into a phone to a certain someone, she sat down with him and tried to confront him. She told him that he could go see a doctor about it if he wanted to. And that’s what they did. He got diagnosed with severe anxiety and was prescribed medications. This helped him with the anxiety attacks a lot but not so much insecurities. But that just goes along with growing up. At first, he didn’t see much wrong with his face he may have had uneven eyes and a weird smile but he liked his face. What he really didn’t like was his body. In primary school he was super skinny, he ate and worked out as much as he could to build up muscle but it was really a loss for him. When he started getting bullied for his freckles that was what really dragged him down. He started covering them up with concealer in his fifth year. Everything was fine and people kinda forgot till one of the girls pointed out that he was wearing “makeup”. Boy oh, fucking boy. That what you want everyone to hear as a primary school boy right? Honestly, the girl could care less and thought that it was kinda cute that he was good with make-up even if it was to cover up his beautiful specks. The boys on the other hand...literally overflowing with that toxic masculinity. That’s when the bullying began. He’d get teased, and get called feminine names which made him very uncomfortable. But it got worse when it started to get physical. After school, the same group of guys would wait outside of school just to follow him home to tease him and push him around. This went on all the way till his last year at primary school. It never really stopped but it definitely settled down once Tuskishima came into his life. Meeting him at the volleyball club the day after he made those bullies run away was the best thing that could have happened to him. Tadashi looked up to Tsuki a lot during his younger years, and although it isn’t the best way of doing it he learned to defend himself more with bullying (yes he’s a fucking bully too he’s just not as bad as Tsuki fight me pt2). Anyway, he still had it rough through his middle school year but for the most part, he was fine. He was winning his battles against anxiety and insecurity, especially since starting volleyball he’s built up muscle, and he’s grown to love his freckles a little more. Then again it came down like a hammer on him. His first year in high school, it was a class that he didn’t know anyone in so he kinda just kept to himself. Some guys came over and started talking to him and he thought they were really nice. They were all getting along until this girl came along and introduced herself to him. She was acting super flirty and he didn’t know why. One of the guys grabbed the girl by the waist pulling her against their chest. He looked pissed. He started yelling at Tadashi for flirting with his girlfriend and threatened to hurt him. Tadashi panicked and tried to explain that she came onto him which only made the situation worse. The guy just started spewing insults at him, talking about how no one would ever date him because of this and that. What hit Yamaguchi hard though was “and don’t get me over your

pepperoni face. Come on it looks like you took a brown crayon and went to town on your face.” Everyone around him started laughing along and agreeing. Their mocking laughter only got louder and louder to him, his breath started staggering and his eyes clouded with tears. He pushed them out of the way and ran to the bathroom. He stares at himself in the mirror letting the sobs escape, he turns on the water and wets his hands. He starts violently rubbing his face then wetting his hands more, and repeating the process. He didn’t realize it himself but he started scratching at his face, turning it red and leaving marks. The door opened to the bathroom but Tadashi didn’t hear. It was Tsukki luckily. “Hey Tadashi I went into your class and they said you would be in here what going on-” his word stopped as he saw his best friend torturing himself. He walked over and grabbed his hands hardly making Tadashi face him. “What are you doing?” he questioned? Tadashi couldn’t manage to get out any words before he collapsed into Tsukki’s arms. Tsukki drags him over to a wall where he sits down. Tadashi laid in between his legs sobbing against his chest. He started running his fingers up and down Tadashi’s spine, in a couple of minutes he had calmed him down until his sobs turned into sniffles and his breathing began to go back to normal. “M’ sorry Tsukki. I didn’t mean to just collapse on you like that.” Tadshi sits up walking back over to the mirror to fix himself back up. “What happened Tadashi.” Tsukki asks getting up as well and dusting himself off. “Nothing it was just a panic attack. I haven't had one in a while so it was overwhelming.” Tsukki grabs Tadashi’s shoulder and starts to massage them gently. “Don’t lie, you suck at it. Plus, I told you to text me when that stuff happens. You usually get more embarrassing than before and do something stupid. So I’ll ask again, what happened.” Tadashi sighs gripping the sides of the sink. “Just some stupid assholes. Threatened to beat me up if I kept talking to their girlfriend even though she came on to me. Said something about my freckles. I don’t know. I’m over it, I had my episode I’m fine now.” “Tadashi, they are just idiots. You know that, I don’t know why you got so worked up about it. Your freckles look fine.” Tadashi froze and looked up at him. That's all? It’s just fine? So it just shouldn’t have any effect on him at all? Does he even remember all of the time he would vent to him about stuff like this? The offense he took from this was unreal. “Of course you would say that. Have you ever actually been bullied or were you always the one bullying? You have no idea what goes on in my head so you have no room to talk about how I deal with my problems Tsukishima. Honestly, you're such a pain in the ass sometimes, just acting all nonchalant. Whatever. See you at practice.” He grabs the paper towels out of the dispenser and walks out of the bathroom. That day at practice the tension between the two did not go unnoticed.

tags: @hangesextra @tetsurou-sgirl

[yukipri]

One Piece Mermaid AU!

Featuring Luffy as a rubber mermaid who can’t swim, and Ace who carries her on his back as they pirate together.

＊Genderbend warning, fem!Luffy

Sliding in last minute for MerMay, bc idk about you, but I need something to mark that May has passed this year...

~~

PLEASE DO NOT REPOST, EDIT, TRANSLATE, OR OTHERWISE USE MY ART. To share, please reblog! Reblogs and comments greatly appreciated!!!

~~

Base headcanons for this AU beneath the cut! ↓ ↓ ↓

Luffy's a mermaid who was raised in Fuusha village, just like in canon. And, just like in canon, despite being a mermaid, she SUCKS at swimming, a fact that Shanks finds absolutely hilarious. She still wants to become a pirate, she still eats her devil fruit and becomes a rubber mer(?), she still gets kidnapped by Higuma (who sees her as an excellent way to rake in cash, given how valuable mermaids are on the slave market), and Shanks still gives her his hat.

As a devil fruit user, Luffy's already atrocious swimming skills are now at zero. She can still breathe under water, but will sink like a stone, her strength sapped by the sea, and if she loses consciousness she'll stop breathing too. Needless to say, she stays out of the water, and the villagers come to accept that sometimes, mermaids just live on land.

Garp still comes back, and is still furious at her wanting to become a pirate (and inwardly, extremely concerned that a bandit tried to catch and sell her), and still takes her to live at Dadan's where she meets Ace.

Ace has no idea what to think of the weird fish-brat who he's now told is gonna be his sibling, and resolutely ignores Luffy. He's inwardly slightly impressed as Luffy continues to follow him through the mountain every day, not even particularly hindered by lack of legs and using a mixture of crawling, squirming, hand-walking, and ricocheting forward with rubber arms to move.

Luffy still meets Sabo the same way as canon, and is still caught by Porchemy, who at first is thrilled because a mer brat! That'll bring in WAY more money than the spare change Ace stole! But in the end, he loses his temper at Luffy's stubbornness and still beats her to a pulp.

Ace and Sabo still rescue Luffy, and they still exchange sake cups and become brothers.

Yes, brothers.

Because at this point, neither Ace nor Sabo nor any of the bandits, nor anyone really on Dawn island save Makino and Garp actually know that Luffy's a girl. Not even Luffy.

The three brothers promise to each other that they'll all leave the island when they turn seventeen, setting out to sea to become pirates (Ace and Sabo are honestly a little concerned, given how often people try to sell Luffy, and how despite aquatic appearances Luffy's vulnerable af in water, but decide to wait and see. They have seven years together, Luffy ten until seventeen, who knows how much stronger their baby brother will get in that time).

Sabo "dies."

Ace and Luffy continue to train, and things don't change until Ace is seventeen, shortly before he sets out to sea.

He's let Luffy crawl into his blanket to sleep with him (partially cold-blooded, Lu gets cold easily when inactive), and Ace realizes that his lil brother's chest feels a bit lumpy.

Concerned, he makes Luffy have it checked out by the bandits, who are shocked to find developing...breasts?

That can't be right...right?

Dadan makes a call to Garp, who snorts and says of COURSE Luffy's a girl, didn't he say granddaughter?

No, he had not, he had only mentioned "grand child."

Everyone is shocked, but none more so than Ace, who really doesn't know what to do with this new information.

(Luffy's not quite sure what a "girl" is, and when she asks Ace, Ace honestly doesn't know how to define "girl" either, so she doesn't get what the big deal is)

Ace realizes he's troubled because he can't remember the number of times he's rescued Luffy from potential traffickers, and the number of times he's heard the lament, "Pity it's not female, it'd be worth quadruple," from the kidnappers before he beats them to a pulp.

He already had doubts about letting Luffy go out to sea alone, three years after he's left. But now knowing that Luffy's a girl, and one of the most sought-after species that traffickers target...he knows the world out there is much bigger than a teeny peaceful East Blue island, and Luffy may not get lucky every time, and may not be strong enough in just three years.

But at the same time, it's not like he can order her to stay here. There's no way Luffy'd listen; the sea calls to her, freedom calls to her, and Ace understands that more than anyone.

Sabo, Ace thinks, what would you do?

The night before he leaves, Ace tells Luffy that there's been a change of plans.

He's still leaving for sea. He's going to get stronger, and work his way towards becoming Pirate King.

BUT, three years later, Luffy will NOT leave Dawn Island alone.

Ace promises that he'll come back, a stronger pirate capable of looking out for his baby brother (because girl or not, they exchanged vows of brotherhood, and that's something that can't be changed).

He refuses to let Luffy be his captain, he's still got his pride, but maybe, maybe if Luffy becomes strong enough, he'll let her be co-Captain.

Luffy is thrilled, because she wanted to be pirates WITH Ace, and grudgingly accepts the compromise, and promises to train and wait for Ace's return.

Ace leaves Dawn island, and makes a name for himself on the Grand Line (he's PISSED when he finds out he's eaten a devil fruit, because now how's he supposed to rescue Lu from drowning when he can't swim himself???).

He even eventually makes it to Whitebeard, and eventually comes to admire the man. Whitebeard invites him to his crew, and Ace honestly replies that a large part of him wants to accept...but he can't. He promised his baby brother that they'll be pirates and co-captains together, and he can't join another pirate crew without Luffy agreeing too. Even so, and he knows it's selfish of him, he wants to call Whitebeard his father.

Whitebeard tells him that Ace is already his son, regardless of where his allegiances lie, and gives him his blessing to return to East Blue to fetch Luffy. Whitebeard laughs that he can't wait to meet the lil brat that Ace speaks so highly of, and for Ace to hurry up and come back to the New World so they can meet.

Ace plans on traveling light, his former crew all choosing to join the Whitebeard pirates except for his first mate, Deuce. Ace loves his crew, but they're also his crew, and knows that he wants to make their crew with Luffy. So he thinks he and Deuce will be a good starting point (You're just bringing me along bc you want someone who can swim on the crew, Deuce accuses).

As they're planning on leaving, Marco lets slip to fellow commander Thatch that he heard that Ace's "little brother" is actually a super cute girl.

The next morning, Thatch shows up too, insisting that he come along, because hey! He's been with the Whitebeards for ages and hasn't been to Paradise in a while, he wants some change! And won't it be nice to have someone as reliable as him along, just until they get back to the New World and reunite with the Whitebeards? Really he has no ulterior motives like wanting to check out Ace's supposedly hyper hot baby brother-sister!

Ace is suspicious, but Thatch is already on board and the other Whitebeards are already waving so he lets it go.

(Shortly after they leave, Thatch discovers a devil fruit. Deuce tells him to sell the damn thing, it'll taste like shit, but Thatch thinks boy wouldn't it be great to be able to woo Ace's hot brother with a really cool devil fruit power. So he eats it, and yeah it tastes like shit, but now he can control Darkness which is sorta badass?)

(Somewhere on the Whitebeard ships, Blackbeard is still waiting for someone to find the darkness devil fruit, and well, it doesn't happen)

Before Ace returns to Dawn Island, part of him still hopes that Luffy looks passably like a guy. Having been to Fishman island, having befriended Jinbe, he knows that while mermen can still be targeted, mermaids are exponentially more vulnerable. He's learned the kinds of clothing that can help conceal tails, and is hoping that there's a slim chance they might be able to be pirates without the world knowing that Lu's a mermaid.

His hopes are shot when Luffy rockets into his arms at the dock, and his face is immediately buried in enormous tits that definitely weren't there three years ago.

Despite Ace's growing concerns (and red face; why does he feel so hot??? It's not his devil fruit...), Ace lets Luffy give Deuce a beating (why me?!) to claim her position as Ace's Co-Captain of the newly established ASL pirates (because if we're pirates together, Sabo has to be with us too!).

Luffy's gotten a lot stronger, but is still utterly ignorant of the outside world and the dangers it holds (such as the drooling Thatch who immediately wins Luffy over with his cooking despite Ace's burning glares). She's reckless and falls into the ocean every damn day, and while Deuce dives in after her and they've discovered her useful ability to talk to fish to ask for help, it still gives Ace heart attacks.

They still pick up more crew members while in East Blue, including Roronoa Zoro, Usopp, and Sanji, a pervy cook who competes daily with Thatch for Luffy's affections through food (Luffy appreciates the food).

At Arlong Park, Luffy encounters fishmen for the first time in her life. Arlong mocks Luffy's choice of friends and family, and invites her to join his crew made of her own kind. Fishmen and mer are the superior race, and Luffy will make a fine wife, Arlong says.

Luffy breaks his nose off, and Nami joins their crew.

Luffy's chosen mode of transportation is on the back of one of her sturdier crew mates, usually Ace, but often Zoro too. She unfortunately hates all the long skirts/robes Ace suggested for her to hide her tail, and so Ace has decided that being as intimidating as possible while carrying his brother glued to his back is the only way to go.

Needless to say, news of the former Spade Pirates Captain + Whitebeard Commander Thatch (are they an extension of the Whitebeards??) establishing the new ASL pirates spreads fast. That, and rumors that there's a beautiful young mermaid on board who can't swim. And despite the strength of the crew and their attempts at vigilance, Luffy's still dumb and gullible, and is kidnapped (and rescued) a dozen times before they're even on the Grand Line.

(after a few times, Luffy's uncharacteristically quiet, and privately asks Ace if they can break up the crew. She's holding Ace back; she not only made him come back to her, but half their adventures just seem to be her crew rescuing her. She's strong enough to defeat enemies, but not save herself. Ace tells her to shut up, and never bring this up again; they're BROTHERS, and he's not going to leave her behind or make her abandon her dreams when she can't accomplish them alone, and that's his choice. Luffy doesn't bring it up again, but works harder than ever to become stronger and earn recognition as co-Captain when the world seems intent on thinking of her as Ace's pet.)

During one of these kidnappings, Luffy's successfully brought all the way to an auction house before her crew can rescue her. An auction house that unbeknownst to them, was under investigation by the Revolutionary Army.

Liberating slaves is an unfortunately common mission for them, and Sabo's doing final sweeps as Koala frees the last of them when he notices a tank stowed away in a corner. He's familiar with these tanks, used to showcase mermaids in the rare occasions one can be caught, and it looks empty but he's still drawn to it for some reason.

It's only when he gets closer that he notices a mermaid crumpled at the bottom of the enclosure. She's completely slumped over, and he's afraid she's already gone, even as something about her screams with familiarity.

He's cracked the tank and has reached in to pull her out, when the wall behind him explodes in flames, revealing a furious Ace who snarls at the strange man with his hands on his baby brother...

...and then Sabo's memories come back.

~~

Something like that???? For an initial HCs dump????

This AU has continued! A LOT! Check out the comics, illustrations, and text stories for this AU under the Mermaid AU section of my One Piece Masterpost!

As always, REBLOGS, tags, asks, and comments greatly appreciated!

Advance posts for this AU and more are on my Patreon! (Patreon(.)com/YukiPri)

[kipscorner]

Headernotes:

- THIS IS A LONG POST! - Anything in Parenthesis, feel free to change or remove - Feel free to change pronouns to match - Thank you for reblogging and using! <3

“(Name), can you explain again what we're doing?”

We're kicking off our fun, old-fashioned family Christmas by heading out into the country in the old front-wheel drive sleigh...to embrace the majesty of the winter landscape...and select that most important of Christmas symbols.”

“We're not driving all the way here so you can get one of those stupid ties with the Santa Clauses on it, are we?”

“Some jackass is riding my tail.”

“(Name)! Don't provoke them!”

“Burn some dust here. Eat my rubber.”

“Eat my road grit, liver lips!”

“(Name), stop it! I don't want to spend the holidays dead!”

“Will you just take it easy, (Name)? I'm in complete control.”

“(Name), we're stuck under a truck!”

“Do you think I don't know that?”

“For Christ sake, I didn't do this on purpose!” 

“My toes are numb.”

“I can't feel my leg.”

“(Name), that thing wouldn't fit in our yard.”

“It's not going in our yard, (Name). It's going in our living room.”

“She'll see it later, (Name). Her eyes are frozen.”

“Hey, (Name)! Where do you think you're gonna put a tree that big?”

“You've got a lot of nerve talking to me like that.”

“I wasn't talking to you.”

“It looks great. A little full. A lot of sap.”

“Did I tell you I talked to my mother?”

“They've decided they're coming for Christmas too.”

“You're forgetting how difficult it's gonna be having everybody in the house.”

“(Name), they're family. They're not strangers off the street.”

“Yeah. And about my mother accusing your mother of buying cheap hot dogs. And your mother accusing my mother of waxing her upper lip.”

“I want to have Christmas here in our house. It means a lot to me. All my life I've wanted to have a big family Christmas.”

“The question is, what will you do with that bonus? Gonna blow it on yourself, I hope.”

“Oh, my God, you're putting in a pool.”

“Layman's terms. None of that inside bullshit jargon nobody understands.”

“Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Merry Christmas. Kiss my ass. Kiss his ass. Kiss your ass.Happy Hanukkah.”

“Wouldn't be the Christmas shopping season if stores were less hooter--Hotter than they are.”

“You have your coat on.”

“There is a nip in the air though.”

“Can I take something out for you?”

“'Tis the season to be merry.”

“Folks! Folks! Folks! Merry Christmas!”

“Look at how big you've gotten!”

“They're not sleeping in my room. I'm gonna go crazy.”

“We're gonna have the best-looking house in town.”

“Come on, unravel these. You have to check every bulb. Got a little knot here. You work on that. I'll get the other box.”

“Would it be indecent to ask the grandparents to stay at a hotel?”

“We're all making sacrifices, (Name).”

“Well, I don't know what to say except it's Christmas and we're all in misery.”

“And why is the carpet all wet, (Name)?”

I don't know, (Name)!”

“I hope nobody I know drives by and sees me standing in the yard, staring at the house in my pajamas.”

“Talk about pissing your money away.”

“Let's get in where it's warm.”

“Now, look, if you need any help...give me a holler. I'll be asleep.”

“Where the hell is that cold coming from?”

“I want to take off these clothes, sit with a glass of wine and kiss your body.”

“Are you out here for a reason, or are you just avoiding the family?”

“Do you honestly think I would check thousands of lights if the extension cord wasn't plugged in?”

“You deserve a home like this to spend Christmas in.”

“You taught me everything I know about exterior illumination.”

“I hope this adds to your enjoyment of the holidays.”

“You got a kiss for me?”

“Better take a rain check on that. (pronouns) got a lip fungus they ain't identified yet.”

“We named him that because he's got this sinus condition.”

“You pet him and he'll love you till the day you die.”

“If I woke up with my head sewn to the carpet, I wouldn't be more surprised then I am right now.”

“After that long drive, we could use a little private time together.”

“(Name), help me get some hot chocolate. It's cold.”

“A little tree water ain't gonna hurt him. Before we left, he drank a half a quart of Pennzoil. Boy, when he lifted his leg the next morning…”

“It's a crying shame the older kids couldn't make it.”

“She's got these big horns growing right out above her ears. Yeah, she's ugly as sin, but a sweet gal. And a hell of a good cook.”

“Can I refill your eggnog? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to nowhere and leave you for dead?”

“Oh, that there? That's an RV.”

“Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm in the middle of an important call. Get me somebody. Anybody. And get me somebody while I wait.”

“We're gonna fly down the hill with this stuff.”

“You know that metal plate in my head? I had to have it replaced because every time (Name) revved up the microwave...I'd piss my pants and forget who I was for a half-hour or so.”

“Nothing like waiting till the last minute, huh?”

“What are you doing up, sweetheart?”

“You shouldn't use that word.”

“I don't think he should be nervous and you shouldn't be either. Because if you're good, Santa knows it. If you believe in him and you believe in your mom and you believe in your...Your dad. If you've been good all year round, Santa is gonna bring you something.”

“Well, I happen to know for a fact that Santa Claus is real. And in the next couple of days… somehow I'm gonna prove it to you.”

“It's good you came to stay with us.”

“I think you'd better go back to bed now.”

“Aren't you having any breakfast?”

“Oh, the silent majesty of a winter's morn. The clean, cool chill of the holiday air.

And an asshole in his bathrobe emptying a chemical toilet into my sewer.”

“It's a sewer. If it fills with gas, I pity the person who lights a match near it.”

“Merry Christmas. Shitter was full!”

“In seven years he couldn't find a job?”

“(Name) and I want to help you give the kids a nice Christmas.”

“This isn't charity. It's family.”

“If you don't tell me what they want, I'll go out and get it on my own.”

“Is your house on fire, (Name)?”

“No, those are Christmas lights.”

“Don't throw me down, (Name).”

“Oh, that was fun. I love riding in cars.”

“Oh, dear. Did I break wind?”

“You shouldn't have brought presents.”

“This box is meowing.”

“(Name)? (pronoun) passed away 30 years ago.”

“They want you to say grace. The blessing!”

“I told you we put it in too early.”

“I heard on the news that a pilot spotted Santa's sled on its way from New York.”

“Is there anything else I can do for you, (Name)?”

“If he keeps it up, it will be his last Christmas.”

“Look what you've done to my tree!”

“It was an ugly tree, anyway.”

“I'm sorry if I've been a little short with everyone lately.”

“...I didn't have enough in my account to cover the check.”

“I can't swim, (Name).”

“(Name), that's the gift that keeps on giving the whole year.”

“If this isn't the biggest punch in the face I ever got. Goddamn it!”

“I wanna look him straight in the eye and tell him what a cheap, lying, no good, rotten, four-flushing low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless ignorant, bloodsucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless heartless, fat-assed, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?”

“He's got that crazed look in his eye.”

“Turn that thing off and get in the house!”

“Aren't you a bit sorry we didn't get a Christmas tree?”

“Well, where you gonna find a tree at this hour on Christmas Eve?”

“Could you just keep it in mind the next time you go berserk?”

“I didn't go berserk. I simply solved a problem.”

“You couldn't hear a dump truck driving through a nitroglycerin plant.”

“I'm gonna catch it in the coat and smack it with the hammer.”

“I'm going in with him.”

“You just march right over there and slug that creep in the face.”

“I can't just attack someone.”

“Where do you think you're going? Nobody's leaving. Nobody's walking out on this family Christmas. No, no. We're all in this together. This is a full-blown, four-alarm

holiday emergency here.”

“We're gonna press on, and we're gonna have the hap-hap-happiest Christmas since Bing Crosby tap-danced with Danny fuckin’ Kaye.”

“And when Santa squeezes his ass down that chimney tonight he's gonna find the jolliest bunch of assholes this side of the nut house.”

“Worse? How could they get any worse? Take a look around you, (Name). We're at the threshold of hell!”

“You losing your temper with the whole family only makes things worse.”

“Are you gonna recite The Night Before Christmas?”

“No. It's your house. It's your Christmas.”

“You about ready to do some kissing?”

“I'm sorry. This is our family's first kidnapping.”

“I'll be more than happy to take the rap on this.”

“If you wanna come in, you are gonna have to break down the goddamn door!”

“Merry Christmas to all and to all a good night!”

“I did something I shouldn't have, and these people called me on it.”

“It's Santa Claus!”

“She thinks she sees Santa.”

“No, it's the Christmas star. And that's all that matters tonight. Not bonuses or gifts or turkeys or trees. See, kids...it means something different to everybody. Now I know what it means to me.”

“That ain't the frigging Christmas star. It's a light on the sewage treatment plant.”

“Merry Christmas, honey.”

[wiypt-writes]

Too Loose And You’ll Lose It

Ch1: GI Joe And Army Barbie Co-Written with @icanfeelastormbrewing​

Intro: Following the Child Sex Trafficking job, The Losers all go their own way for a break before they are due back in Fairfax County. Stella is enjoying some quiet time with her mother.

 And Jensen.

 But, it isn’t ever quiet where he is involved.

Warnings: Bad Language words.

Pairing: Jake Jensen x OFC Stella Stevenson.

A/N:  So here it is! We’ve been waiting to bring you this one for a LOOOOONG time, and we hope we don’t disappoint. We can’t wait to dive into this fic! We pick up in 2007, roughly 2 years or so before the events of the Losers Film (in our head anyway) and we can’t wait to cram it full of adventure. Please let us know what you think with a reblog and a comment.

TLAYLI Masterlist // Main Masterlist

Prologue

May 2007

Stella and her mom sat in the kitchen of her childhood home in Manchester, New Hampshire. It was late morning one Friday morning, the day after she had returned home following debriefs at the CIA base in DC. It had been an emotional reunion, not having seen her mother for almost 8 months in person. They’d stayed up late with a bottle of wine before retiring to bed and after a lazy morning she had eaten a huge breakfast of pancakes, bacon and eggs, god knows how many rounds of toast and some decent coffee.

“Have you had enough to eat honey?” Her mom asked.

“Yup, honestly I’m stuffed, Ma. It feels good to be eating home cooked food for a change.” She smiled.

“Yeah, well, God only knows what you’ve been eating out there.” Julie mumbled as Stella smiled at her mom’s typical mother concern.

“So when are you due back in the office?” Julie pressed and Stella’s smile grew even wider at her mom’s name for the George Bush Centre for Intelligence in Fairfax County, the CIA HQ where The Losers would be based predominantly when they weren’t running missions.

“I have another week of leave. They gave me longer seeing as I was down there for so long. Clay and the rest only got a few days, much to Jake’s disgust, he heads back over there Monday.” Stella shook her head snorting “You know if he had his way he would be on permanent leave, drinking and watching football on TV.”

“He hasn’t changed then?” Julie grinned.

“Nope.”

“I bumped into his mom the other day at the supermarket.” Stella’s mom continued.

“Yeah? How is Janet?”

“She’s good.” Julie nodded “John has been building a new shed for the garden…or maybe it was a summer house. Either way, they were planning on having a BBQ soon when Gracie finishes school”

“Sounds good, have you seen them much at all recently?” Stella asked.

“We’ve got together a few times yes. Which reminds me….” Julie narrowed her eyes “She told me Jake has been back in the US now for 12 months. You tell him from me he’s gonna get a slap for not coming over to see me when he came back home to visit.”

Stella laughed “I’ll make sure he knows how disgusted you are in him, don’t worry.”

They sat chatting for a little while longer before Julie stood up to clear the plates, waving away Stella’s offer of help, as she always did when she was home. Stella headed into the lounge, picked up her laptop and opened up her browser, dialling into her military account. About 15 minutes later Julie walked in.

“What are you doing?”

“I got some paper work and stuff to sort, you know for the accommodation in the Condo that Clay sent me through.” Julie shook her head, “You know, Estella, I really wish you’d get a normal job-“

Stella sighed “Ma, don’t start…”

“You’re as stubborn as your father and look where that got him!”

“Wow.” Stella looked up, arching her eyebrow. “Nice. Good guilt trip.”

“You’re my little girl.” Julie’s voice grew quiet. “ I worry. And I miss you. “I know, but…this is my job. It’s all I’ve ever wanted to do.” Stella shrugged “But now, I’m home and…I’m not on tour all the time. I’ll be back for a week once very month and, well, you still have Rey, she literally lives 10 minutes away!”

Julie rolled her eyes “For all the good that does. She only visits when she wants food or to complain about something.”

Stella seized the opportunity to divert the conversation and she snorted “Complain about what? Which fucking sports car Richard wants to buy her next. Or because he doesn’t like whatever pretentious middle name she has planned for their first born?” Before Julie could reply they both heard the back door open to the kitchen and a familiar voice called “Yo, Stevensons…” Julie looked at Stella who rolled her eyes. “Speak of the devil…”

Jensen appeared in the doorway to the lounge, grinning “Oh, we’re you talking about me gorgeous?”

“No I was, and how you’ve been home on US soil for almost a year and not paid me one visit Jacob.” Julie glared at him, folding her arms.

“Oooh the full name. Am I in trouble?” Jensen grinned.

“Yes, you damned well are JJ.” Julie said, opening her arms “Now come here…”

Grinning Jensen stepped forward to give Stella’s mum a hug, pulling back with a yelp as she slapped him round the head.

“Shit, Jules!! What the hell was that for?”

“I told you! Your mother was telling me just the other day you’ve been back to Manchester now a few times and didn’t even think of paying me a visit?”

“Sorry Jules, been busy”

Julie narrowed her eyes “Busy doing what?”

“Wow. I really am in trouble huh.” Jensen shrugged. Stella snorted and Jensen looked over at where she was concentrating on the screen of her laptop. “What you doing Stel?” Stella let out a sigh at the same time her mother did, before Julie headed back into the kitchen.

“What’s going on?” Jensen asked, watching Julie leave before he turned to Stella “Am I supposed to sigh now?” “I was just filling in the paper work for the condo.” She replied as Jake sat next to her “Mom still isn’t a big fan of me being in the military. Swear she still thinks I’m 10 or something.”

“Well I know for a fact you aren’t” Jensen flashed her his trademark goofy smile and Stella slapped his arm.

“Shut up JJ” “Ouch…!” Jake rubbed his arm “Stel, be gentle.” She rolled her eyes and he reached for her laptop “Ok, let me see…” he glanced at the computer “You know this thing is totally outdated?”

“It does a job, I don’t care.” “Speaking of jobs…” Jensen looked towards the kitchen door, “How about you and me…”

“Jesus Jake!” Stella looked at him as he grinned “Here, whilst my mom is home? You have issues.”

“Didn’t bother you 10 years ago…”

“Yeah, well I didn’t know any better, you’re living proof of that. And besides, I’ve grown up since then. You should try it.” “Hmmm, you know one of the perks of being Black Ops means we all get our own private digs in the Condo” he wiggled his eyebrows.

“I swear to god Jake, you’re a fucking nightmare.” Stella rubbed her temples “Why are you here?”

“Came to invite you to the Petunia’s game tomorrow. It’s been a while since we went out on a date babe.”

“A while?” Stella shook her head laughing. “Your concept of time measurement really amazes me.” Jake chuckled “So whaddya say?” he asked, giving her a goofy grin.

“Yeah why not?” Stella asked “Which girl wouldn’t dream of going to watch an under 8’s girl soccer game? Can’t believe my luck.” “Don’t be a whiny bitch!” Jake rolled his eyes “We’re meeting Pooch and his girl later in the evening for drinks.”

“Great, so now it’s turned into a double date.” She rolled her eyes.

“Why you being so grumpy Stel?” Jake frowned.

Stella sighed “Sorry Jakey…just..oh I dunno, I guess mom just pissed me off a bit that’s all. Bringing up my dad, suggesting I’m gonna go the same way he did.”

Jake pondered this for a moment before he took a deep breath. “You know she’s just worried about you that’s all.”

Stella smiled “I know…I know. Doesn’t help I can’t really tell her what I’m doing, other than running CIA tasked missions.”

“Come’ ere…” Jake threw an arm round her and she leaned into him, laying her head on his shoulder. “How about I help you fill that paper work out and then we can head and grab some lunch or a drink, whatever.”

“Now that’s actually quite a good idea.”

Jensen smiled and gently kissed her head. “It happens occasionally.”

Stella looked up at him “Guess it’s my lucky day then.”

“Well mine was like 10 years ago so guess I can say about time Stel.”

“Smooth…” she rolled her eyes and he shrugged, dipping his head and pressing his lips to hers in a soft kiss, but before it could go any deeper another loud voice rang out from the kitchen and Stella pulled away giving a groan.

“Just what I fucking need.”

Jensen grimaced at the sound of Stella’s eldest sister as her airey tone grew louder, before the door to the lounge opened

“Aww GI Joe and Army Barbie are back in town.”  

“Fuck off Aubrey.” Stella looked up at where her sister was stood leaning in the doorframe.

“Hello to you too.” Aubrey rolled her eyes.

“S’up Rey? How’s Dick?” Jensen grinned at her. Stella nudged him, trying hard not to smirk

“You know full well his name is Rick, Jacob.” Aubrey replied with a bored tone. “You were at the wedding after all.

“Yeah…” Jensen mused “Still looks like a Dick to me.”

At that Stella snorted and he flashed her a quick wink. She loved how he always had her back against her sister and her snobby bastard husband. Aubrey merely rolled her eyes, she was well used to Jake and his quips by now.

“Yeah laugh all you want losers” and with that she left and made her way to the kitchen

“Well, she’s not wrong we are Losers.” Jake shrugged “Yeah but she doesn’t know, let’s keep it that way.” Stella sighed, before she shook her head “I don’t know how your sister is still friends with her, I mean out of choice? Really?

“Well, us Jensens are made to please.”

At that point Julie re-entered the living room “Jake are you staying for lunch or are you expected anywhere else to please today? I’m making lasagne.”

“Mom we literally ate breakfast an hour ago.” Stella looked up at her and Julie smiled.

“I know, but I’m making the pasta from fresh and have a few other things to do so it won’t be ready for a while.  You two do your…thing and let me know what you decide. Rick and Rey are staying, he’s coming later so…” “Can’t wait.” Stella deadpanned.

“Please don’t start Estella…” Julie shot her a look.

“Anyway, change of subject…how is her shit soap selling?” Jake leaned back on the sofa and Stella snorted.

“Ask her, I dare you.  I’d pay to see her face.”

“I’d do it for free if it makes you smile.”

“You two, behave if you’re staying.” Julie said sternly, pointing at them both.

“You gonna be pissed if we don’t stay?” Stella looked at her mom.

“I’ll be more pissed if you do and don’t behave.” The reply came back.

“Cross my heart Jules…” Jensen made the sign over his chest “Best behaviour. Anything for your lasagne.”

“Glad to hear it Jake.” Julie raised her eyebrow and then turned from the room.

“Looks like we’re staying then.” Stella looked at Jensen who merely grinned back.

“Sorry Stel, but you know I love verbal sparring with Rick the Prick.”

She snorted “You’re a bad man JJ” “I’m your bad man.” He winked.

Stella looked at him, cocking her head to one side trying to figure out what exactly he meant. As far as she was concerned he wasn’t after anything serious. Especially seeing he was the one that broke it off 8 years ago. Sure they’d fallen into the whole friends with benefits thing but it was no strings and all that…

She took a deep breath, cleared her throat and nodded to her laptop “So, er…forms?”

****

Two hours later they were still filling in the damned paperwork, Stella having a lot to complete…that and the fact they’d been distracted a bit by laughing and joking around, Jake showing her on Google Maps the location of a few good restaurants and bars not too far from the Condo to head to. They both looked up as Julie walked back into the lounge to tell them lunch would be ready in 20. They finished up what they were doing before walking into the Kitchen where Stella was greeted by her brother-in-law with his usual stiff hug, whereas Jake took great delight in pumping his hand up and down furiously, grinning at him.

Stella shook her head, smiling to herself as they all sat down outside in the garden, making the most of the nice weather, and began to eat. Richard was telling some boring tale from his office and Jensen was hanging off his every word, pretending to give a shit when Stella knew nothing could be further from the truth. He was merely waiting for his opportunity, which was handed to him a few minutes later by Rey who couldn’t resist getting the first shot in.

“Jake, how’s the army geek life treating you?”

“Great Rey, how’s the soap?”

Stella instantly choked on her water, and Jensen looked at her, patting her on the back as she recovered.

“Oh, it’s ok.” Rey waved a hand “I haven’t made much recently, been so busy with you know…other stuff.” “Yeah, that other stuff just keeps gettin’ in the way of…soap.” Jake shook his head.

“Are you joking with me now?” Rey narrowed her eyes.

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” Jensen shook his head. “In fact, I’m in awe of you. I mean it literally amazes me how you can make that stuff and sell it when you hate getting your hands dirty so much.” Jake swallowed a mouth of his food and grinned at her.

Rey glared at Jake “I wear gloves, ass-wipe.”

“You really don’t get irony do you?” Stella laughed, taking a drink from her glass of water.

At that point her mother caught her eye and gave her a stern glare, her earlier warning to the two of them to behave flashed across Stella’s mind but she was struggling to care. Her and Jake ‘Tag-teaming’ Rey and Rick was a well-practised art that the two of them had fine-tuned over the years, and it was the only time Stella ever felt she could get one up on her sister.

Rey looked at her and flicked her hair behind her shoulder “You may laugh but its selling really well. I’m actually thinking of expanding into a baby range.”

“Be handy for when we get pregnant.” Rick smiled at her.

Stella pulled a face as Jake grinned “You guys have that planned too? A designer little Rick or Rey on its way?”

Aubrey smiled and looked adoringly at Rick in a way that made Stella want to barf “Yeah, we’ve been trying.”

“Code for we’ve been fucking non-stop like Rabbits.” Stella mumbled.

“Estella!” Julie said sharply as Rey glared at her.

“Just because you can’t get your own relationship sorted…” she shot

“I’m not in a relationship, as well you know.”

“You sure?” Rey stared back at her, her eyes flicking to Jensen for a second.  Stella felt herself grow red.

“Fuck off.”

“Ok that’s enough!” Julie said loudly “Can the pair of you just not stop this sniping for even one damned hour?”

Stella took a deep breath “Sorry Ma.”

Jake who had remained quiet, up until that point chipped up again, deflecting the conversation.

“Huh…” he pondered something before he pointed his fork at Rey “You know, if you’re trying to get pregnant it’s highly recommended to be in good spirits. You keep getting so angry and snippy at people, you’re gonna scare Rick’s little soldiers away. It’s a question of PH.”

Rey and Rick exchanged a glance whilst Julie looked down at her plate, coughing slightly, a smile flickering on her mouth, her admonishing clearly forgotten. Stella’s eyes moved from her mother to Jake and she mouthed ‘are you for real?’

Jensen simply grinned, shrugging, as Stella shook her head, trying not to laugh. She adored Jake when he was in full on playful mode like this. He was always full of random, stupid trivia that you could never tell whether was actual fact or simply made up for the sake of sheer, stupid comedy value and he could use it perfectly to diffuse a situation and divert attention just as he had done right now. The best bit was, that Rey and Rick were utterly oblivious to his tactic and were now looking at him, like his words were gospel.

“Where the hell did you hear that?” Rey asked.

“I read it in Nature…” Jake shrugged, taking another mouthful of his food.

“I’m impressed Jake.” Rick looked at him.

“Well, sometimes I’m more than just a pretty face Dick.” Jensen shrugged.

Rick blinked “Did he just-“

“Jules, I gotta say…” Jensen cut him off before he could finish, flashing Julie his best smile “This lasagne as always is delicious.”

*****

“Damned Stel…” Jakey mumbled to himself as she heads to car. Taking in her tight jeans that show off her ass and legs, her khaki green silk chami top which hung loosely off her frame, exposing her collar bone and her light grey jacket, set off with a pair of stylish Oakley Holbrooks with matte black frames and red iridium lenses. Her hair was pulled into a side braid which hung down her right shoulder and when she smiled at him he shifted slightly in his seat.

“You look nice.” He recovered himself enough to smile as she climbed into the car.

“Thanks JJ.” She turned to him, taking in his dark jeans and grey and blue button down. “No Petunias T-shirt?”

“Well I figured seeing as we’re going out afterwards I should make a bit of an effort.” He grinned, pushing his glasses back up his nose. Stella arched an eyebrow but didn’t say anything.

“See your dad got a new car…” she mused, taking in the interior of the silver chevvy blazer before she grinned “Pity he got rid of the ford…”

Jensen smirked “Yeah, we had…good times on that back seat.”

Stella smiled and looked out of the window, before she turned back to Jake as he drove off up the road. “So who are they playing today?” she asked

“A team called the Oaks.” He said “I was checking their scores the other day, they lost their last 5 games so...” Stella smiled “You get far too invested in this you know?”

Jensen shrugged. “What can I say, I like soccer.”

Their conversation continued on the 10 minute or so drive to the Petunia’s home pitch, and eventually strayed to Jensen’s sister Jane before it moved onto their lunch yesterday and how Julie had given Stella a ticking off once Jake had left.

“You know Rey has been googling that PH bull shit don’t you?” Stella looked at Jensen as he drove towards the soccer pitches “And she’s realised it’s just that. Bull shit.” Jensen shrugged “I don’t care, she was being a bitch to you.”

“Well thankfully she left about an hour after you did yesterday so I didn’t have to put up with her for much longer.” Stella shrugged “Still, was long enough for her to keep talking about fucking soap.”

Jensen grinned “I think I touched a nerve?”

“No shit.” Stella grumbled “You know what she said? After all that about how well it was selling and them expanding the range, she told ma she only made $500 last month!”

Jensen laughed as he swung the car into a spot by the side of the road. “Yeah, that’s…not great.”

“I did point out that maybe the reason people don’t buy whatever shit she sells because they freak out at the ridiculously ostentatious name of the company.

“The Bath To Righteousness” Jensen grinned as they both climbed out. “Yeah it is pretty pretentious. Stuff like that needs an angle you know? These companies selling homemade, organic shit are ten a penny. It needs to be a catchy name, something punchy.”

“What would you call it?” Stella looked at him, slipping her arm through his as they headed over to the pitch The Petunias were playing on.

“I’ve got Soap, Bitches.” He nodded firmly. Stella burst into laughter. “Or Lick My Soap.” Jensen continued reeling off stupid names as they approached the side lines. “Soap In Your Hole…Hit Me with Your Best Soap…Slippery when Wet… Don’t Buy Soap, Won’t Be Soap”

Stella was laughing that hard she was struggling to breathe. Jensen grinned as her nose crinkled up and she let go of his arm, doubling over, clutching her stomach. “Don’t buy soap, won’t be soap?” she managed to stutter, wiping her eyes “What the fuck does that even mean?”

“It’s from an ancient Tibetan philosophy- don’t start none, won’t be none.”

“You’re so full of crap.” She snorted, shaking her head.

“Maybe I should eat one of those soap bars then?”

Stella began to laugh again and at that point Jake’s sister Jane appeared from wherever she had been and looked at the pair of them over her shades. “What the hell’s got into you?” she looked at Stella, a smile playing on her face.

“Hey Jane, What’s soap, I mean up.” Jensen quipped and Stella let out another loud howl of laughter. Jake looked at her, laughing a little before Jane shook her head

“I just can’t with you two…” Jane grinned and gave Stella a hug. “Good to see you Stel.”

“You too Jane. You look well.” She said, stepping back to take the blonde woman in fully. “Where’s Gracie?” “Oh they’re over there with their coach.” Jane said, waving her hand in the direction of the pitch “She’s been asking about you all day. Ever since Jake said you were coming she’s been so excited.”

“I can’t wait to see her either, it’s been like a year!”

“Oh she’s grown up a lot. You’ll see.” Jane smiled.

“Hear that JJ- grown up.” Stella looked at him. “Seems even your niece can manage it.”

“Says the girl that almost pissed herself laughing at the phrase slippery when wet.” Jensen eyed her over his shades and she shrugged.

“I daren’t even ask…” Jane looked at them both and Jensen simply waved her comment away.

“Oh we were just trying to think of ways to help Rey boost her soap sales.” He shrugged.

“Do I really wanna know?” Jane asked, “Mind you, she’ll probably chew my ear off about it all later.”

It wasn’t long before the teams head out to the pitch and the three of them took their seats on the small stand as they kicked off.

“I’d kill for a beer.” Stella mumbled about 5 minutes later.

“Well, I nearly bought some but thought better not. I got caught last time and fined- broke a by law apparently.” Jensen said, his eyes not leaving the game “Jane went bezerk. She’s kinda scary when she gets mad. Like you.”

Stella smiled and turned back to the game for a little while, until the Petunias made a break for goal, only to have the girl who was running through felled down by one of the Oak’s defenders.

“Oh look at that!” Jensen yelled, jumping up “Foul ref…are you blind?”

“Jake sit down.” Jane hissed, looking up at him from where she sat to Stella’s right.

“I’d say this is embarrassing but I’m used to it.” Stella shook her head.

“I swear to god behave or I’ll ban you for life.” Jane threatened him again as he continued to yell down to the pitch.

“Can you sit down please?” A voice came from behind them and Stella looked at the woman who was speaking “You’re blocking my view”

“For fucks sake…” Stella grumbled, reaching up with her left hand and yanking on his shirt “Jakey, sit!”

With a grumble he did as he was told and leaned across Stella to look at Jane “You soccer mums are a nightmare.” Jane glared at him, Stella remained focussing on the game, trying not to laugh. When Jensen moved to sit back she looked at Jane and mouthed “Sorry.”

“Don’t be.” Jane shook her head “He’s far worse when you’re not around.”

“God help you.”

“Yeah there was this one time he was that bad Gracie stopped talking to him for an entire weekend. Poor Kid hadn’t been so embarrassed in her life.” Jane mumbled. Jensen turned to look to his right at Stella and his sister, frowning.

“What are you two whispering about?”

“You.” Stella looked at him “Now shut up and behave.”

“No need to be so aggressive babe.” He arched an eyebrow but obeyed anyway.

“Stella, can I hire you for like ALL the games?” Jane asked, nodding to the fact Jensen was, for once, doing as he was told.

Stella snorted, shaking her head as she turned back to the match.

As it was only a kid’s game, they only played 20 minutes either half. The first one closed at 0-0 and after a quick 5 minutes break they swapped ends and kicked off the second half. About 5 minutes in the Petunias broke and this time thanks to a great pass through from Gracie they scored. Naturally Jake cheering loudest. The rest of the half was uneventful and the game ended at 1-0. As everyone began to move, the three of them headed down to the side lines, Gracie trotting towards them.

“Stella!” she grinned, throwing herself at the woman. Stella grabbed her in a hug, swinging her round slightly.

“OMG look at you! You got taller!” she smiled, ruffling her hair.

Gracie grinned “I know. But it has been a while since I saw you.” She admonished Stella a little.

“Really?” Stella grinned “Doesn’t seem that long.”

“Did you see my goal assist?” Gracie asked and Stella nodded.

“Of course I saw it honey, you were great!”

“Alright, alight, favourite uncle right here.” Jensen said, gesturing to himself.

“You’re my only uncle, duh.” Gracie rolled her eyes.

“Well guess that makes me your favourite by default then.” Jensen shrugged.

Stella pat his shoulder gently. “You were brilliant JJ.”

At that Gracie gave a snigger.

They chatted for a little while longer before Jake said they needed to leave to meet Pooch and ‘future Mrs. Pooch’. Gracie wasn’t impressed at Stella going so soon and there was a brewing tantrum until Stella assured her it wouldn’t be too long before she saw her again. In all honesty, Jensen could have spent the rest of the evening watching his niece and Stella interact. He had to concede Stel had a way with children which contrasted with the focused military Captain persona who was now part of an elite black-ops team . Mind you, Gracie had known Stella her entire life. Granted, Gracie had spent more time with Aubrey, being as she was one of her mother's best friends, than with Stel and yet it wasn't hard to tell Stel was one of Gracie's favourite people in the world. 

So after a vague promise to take Gracie out for an ice cream during the week she still had left of her leave, Stella managed to avert the tantrum and they said goodbye and headed back to the car. 

When they got to Tandy's, almost half an hour later, Pooch and his fiancé were already at the bar waiting for them.  Pooch stood up as he spotted them approaching and he pulled Stella into a hug before greeting and patting Jensen's back and introducing Stella to his wife-to-be, Jolene. They grabbed a drink and sat down, the 4 of them chatting for a little while. Pooch and Jolene told Stella all about their wedding plans, which sounded like a beautiful ceremony planned for the following year in Mexico. 

Stella was asking the reason for their wedding ceremony being in Mexico when they finished their first round. Jensen, noticing their glasses were empty, stood up to go get another round, he had already had his share of Pooch's wedding plans for the past year, and Jolene excused herself to go to the bathroom soon after, leaving Stella and Pooch alone. 

"So you enjoying the chance to be at home for a few weeks Arty?" Pooch asked her.

"It’s great being with my mom but she’s already driving me crazy, telling me I need to leave the army and get a good, normal job. She’d have a fit if she knew I was part of this Elite Black ops shit."

Pooch chuckled "Well, it’s not all undercover life or death situations. You know, Jensen ended up doing 2 months at HQ working on some online terrorist cell last year. Cougar has run a few sniping jobs too. I ran a couple of training ops with some troops in Canada."

"Yeah. Clay mentioned I might get a few normal jobs…" Stella nodded, as she fiddled with the coaster on the table.

"So it’s good to be reasonably close to home, you know? Well, I say reasonably close…still like a 7 and a half hour drive. Hurrah for Military Discount on airfare…or you can go via New York and take a night there.” Pooch shrugged “Me and Jensen done that a few times. Although keeping tabs on him in Times Square can be a pain in the ass…"

"Yeah I can imagine." she laughed.

"So, what’s your dad think about your career choice?" Pooch asked then.

"No idea, he died when I was 10." Stella shrugged.

"Shit, sorry." Pooch apologised, eyes wide open at the realisation of his gaffe.

Stella gave him a comforting smile. "It's ok. You didn't know."

"No siblings?" Pooch inquired and Stella could feel his wariness as he asked another personal question.

"One." she smiled again. "Sister, she’s…” Stella hesitated, trying to thing of the most diplomatic way to phrase what she wanted to say. “Well, she’s very different to me. Her husband is a Finance Director for Lockheed Martin and earns a ridiculous amount of money so she doesn’t work. Well, unless you count running an online Etsy shop selling home-made soaps. She’s friends with JJ’s sister although fuck knows how Jane puts up with her."

"I could ask you the same thing about Jensen." Pooch joked, nodding at Jensen at the bar and Stella smiled again. 

By then Pooch had noticed Arty smiled a lot. She had a warm smile that made him feel comfortable around her. That and the fact she wasn't shy to talk about her life with him. He liked her and thus he was curious about what the real nature of her relationship with Jensen was.

"So you know his family as well then?" he asked.

"Yeah I’ve known them all since I was 11." she offered.

"That’s nice." Pooch nodded.

"What is?"

"You guys being so close since you were kids." he said, smiling.

Stella smiled at him again but it was now a mischievous smile "He told you how we met?"

Pooch shook his head "No."

"It was first week of middle school. I was walking to class and my bag split. He came over to help me pick up my stuff, smacked his head straight into mine as he stood up."  she stopped to let Pooch laugh it up.

"He banged his head?” Pooch snorted “Yeah that…that sounds like Captain Chaos alright…”

Stella shook her head as she gave Pooch a nudge, stretching her arm over the table. "Don’t laugh, he was cute. A dork but cute. And he was a friend. My dad had only been dead 6 months or so and we had moved back home from Kentucky to be nearer our grandparents so I didn’t really know anyone. But, he came straight over when everyone else was laughing at me and he deliberately placed himself so no one would see me crying." At that Pooch saw Stella glancing over at Jensen, smiling softly. "Been hanging out ever since."

"So when did you two…you know…cross the line so to speak."

"He asked me out on my 17th birthday. I’d liked him for years but didn’t think he thought of me in that way. We dated through senior year and then we both went off to Norwich University for the ROTC." She explained.

"Oh, so you didn’t direct enter either then?"

"No. I talked to Clay about it and he suggested I do the ROTC so I could get a college education as well. I suggested it to Jakey and we both went for it."

"So, excuse my prying but why you two beak up? Seems like you were together for pretty much the most important decisions of your lives?"

Stella hesitated before answering. Although she didn't mind talking to Pooch it was the first time she explained her and Jensen's story to anyone. She hadn’t needed to up to that point, seeing as everyone she had met till then didn't know Jake too, bar their respective families and friends and they already knew what the deal between them was. Sort of.

For the first time Pooch felt like she wasn't that willing to answer. "Well, after the ROTC thing we both got our first overseas postings and, well, he suggested that maybe it was better if we called it quits before the distance tore us apart and we resented one another. I agreed. We stayed friends though."

"Friends with benefits, huh?"

"Yeah, you could say that." she snorted.

Pooch looked at her. He sensed it was better not to pry more on the subject so he decided to change topics.

"So, you know Clay of old then?" he asked, remembering Clay had warned them she was like a daughter to him.

"Yeah he was in the Army with my dad. My dad was a major in the Screaming Eagles, you heard of them?"

Pooch nodded "The 101st airborne division, right?"

Stella nodded too. "Clay was first lieutenant in his command. He was killed when they launched the operation to cut off Highway 8. One of only 16 to die. Clay took it hard, he was literally right by dad when he died. A foot to the right and he’d have taken the bullet not dad, and he felt guilty for ages for not spotting the sniper but…either way one of them ended up dead. I mean, dad was only 45 when he died and Clay would have been…what, 28 or so at the time, maybe? Either way it’ no age, total waste of a life."

"You know, Clay never really talks about his past much but he did tell us once that seeing his friend die at the hand of an insurgent was what spurred him into the Special Ops. He wanted to get involved in tracking down terrorists, making places safer. Never knew who he was talking about though." Pooch offered.

"Well now you do." she shrugged "I expect it's painful for him to talk about. We’ve all been there, lost people …it’s hard."

"So that's why you joined as well? Your dad?" Pooch asked.

"Yeah. Much to Mom’s disgust. She called Clay, thought he would talk me out of it. I think his words to my mum were, and I quote “ I don’t stand a chance Jules, you know she looks up to Ian’s memory like he’s Captain America….”." 

Pooch laughed out loud and Stella grinned. "Yeah she’s still not best pleased with him. And when I got stationed over in Iraq, well, I thought she was gonna hunt him down and kill him with her bare hands."

"You clearly made the right career choice though, I mean you made Captain pretty fast." Pooch stated with real admiration. “Just like Jensen did.”

"A lot of that was down to doing the ROTC and circumstance. Right place, right time…you know what it’s like in the field. They need commissioned, senior officers in Delta Force, I dare say female ones specifically to ‘fil the quota’ so to speak. I did my job well and…" she shrugged.

"From what I hear you’re selling yourself short. Clay speaks very highly of you. He was raving about this person on the inside for the entire time we were running that last op."

Stella smiled, after the conversation with her mother the day before and having to put up with her sister and brother in law's perfect life all over the weekend, Clay's words were like a balm to her. 

"Good to know I’m doing something right."

Pooch was pondering Stella's words when Jensen returned from the bar with a couple of beer bottles and two deep orange coloured cocktails.

"Sorry guys, they had a new bartender who wasn't very sure about the best way to prepare a Sailor's Grave." He shrugged “So, this is for Pooch, this is for Mrs. Pooch and this one is for my girl…" he said, placing the drinks ceremoniously on the table, flashing a wink at Stella when he said the last part.

Pooch raised an eyebrow at Stella. The boundaries in Jensen and Stella's relationship, whatever that was, were clearly a little blurred.

Stella rolled her eyes before speaking "I’m not your girl Jake, not since you dumped me when you went over to Burkina Faso." She flinched a little as that came out slightly harsher than she meant and Jensen noticed.

 "Ouch doll. Bitter much?" he frowned.

Stella took a deep breath but didn’t say anything. Worst thing she could do was encourage him, whether it was in favour or against, his attempts of flirting. Thankfully, at that moment Jolene returned to the booth.

"Sorry I took so long, I got a call from the office." She apologised as she sat at her place next to Pooch.

Stella seized the chance to divert the conversation and get Jake out of her mind and sight for a minute and she smiled at Jolene and asked “So what do you do for a living?”

"Oh I’m a paralegal for a local firm in Concord." Jolene explained before taking a sip from her cocktail.

Soon both women were engaged in a lively conversation as Stella continued to ask her questions, happy to keep her mind occupied and off all thoughts of Jake and the little tension earlier. Eventually, however, last orders were called and the 4 agreed it was time to go.

“Jolene seemed nice.” Stella broke the silence that had fallen in the car. “They make a nice couple.”

"Yeah, Pooch is a good guy and she’s a nice gal so…" Jensen agreed, hands on the wheel.

They both fell silent again, Jake concentrating on the road ahead. He was anxious and hoped Stella hadn't noticed, though they had never been so silent in a car drive. Something had been bugging him since that night in the barracks after the mission. The sex had been amazing, it always had been, but whereas they normally left it at that but now… well, being around their hometown, the place they had grown up and first started dated, going out and just doing things they used to do was sparking all sorts of feelings within him. Just an hour before, calling her his girl had just slipped out, and he’d realised from her reaction as soon as he’d done it that he shouldn’t have.

He chewed the inside of his cheek as he drove, trying to convince himself that he had done the right thing breaking it off 5 years ago. But he was also cursing himself at the same time, because being around her yesterday and today, in a normal environment, he realised that just as he’d told her that night after the mission he missed her. And not just the sex. But her. The difference being now, as he pulled onto her road, he realised he didn’t just miss her because he hadn’t seen her. He missed her being his. 

 His. That was his last thought as he parked up at her driveway.

"Thanks Jakey, I had fun today." Stella said, looking at him for the first time since they got in the car.

"Me too, Stel." Jensen said as he nodded.

And there was a silent pause as Stella digested the fact he wasn't even looking at her. His eyes were fixed on some point beyond the windshield.

"Ok, erm.." Stella spoke but paused to clear her throat. "Well, have a safe trip over to Base and I guess I’ll see you in a week."

He still didn't say anything, he only nodded in agreement. His eyes still not on her. So she opened the door, ignoring the lump on her throat, and made to leave when she felt him gently grabbing her arm.

"Stel…"

She stopped and looked at him. He was now looking at her, almost pleadingly, as he reached out, gently gripping her chin in his finger and thumb, his eyes bouncing across hers.

"Jake, I don’t think we..." she whispered but her protests died as he pressed his lips to her.  It was a furious and needy kiss, his tongue harshly dominating hers, and when he pulled away he pressed his head to hers.

"See you in a week, doll." he said, his eyes boring into hers.

"Yeah, see you." she whispered, before getting out of the car

She looked back once to wave as he was waiting to make sure she got inside, as he always did. Once in she shut the front door and headed to the kitchen. Just as she turned around and took the first step her mom walked out of the living room.

"Not in a relationship, eh?" 

"Were you spying on me?" Stella asked. Best defence is offense after all…

Her mother shrugged, a smile threatening to spread on her face. She liked Jake, she had always liked him and what was more, though she would rather be caught dead than admit to it, she liked him more than she would ever like Rick in a million years. But then, what was more important to a mother than their daughters' happiness?

 Stella sighed. "It's complicated."

"Sure it is. Night honey.” her mother said and, after placing a kiss on her head, she left her to it.

Stella said goodnight and headed into the kitchen for a bottle of water.  She uncapped it and leaned on the counter. It had taken her a while to get to a point where she could simply fuck Jake and leave it at that, but even then deep down she knew she had been kidding herself, fooling herself. He had been right in the bar before, she was bitter. Bitter that he had given up so easily when she thought they had something special. And she’d been that much of a sucker that she’d gone along with the whole ‘friends with benefits’ arrangement because the thought of not being with him at all had made her feel sick. 

During the last 12 months they had drifted apart and even though she’d hated it at first and it had killed her, it had done her the world of good in that she had finally worked him out of her system.

Or so she thought she had.

Because here she was, less than 2 weeks of being back in his presence and she was already slipping back down that deep, dark hole. After that night post the mission they hadn’t been together that way, at all, but then the previous day he’d shown up and today he had taken her out, for what had been a really fun afternoon and evening, and it had felt just like old times. 

Especially when he had kissed her like that. 

Jensen was the king of giving off mixed signals, he always had been. Hell, it had taken her years to figure out he liked her that way. But they weren’t in high school anymore, and it was easy, far too easy to get swept back into something that meant more to her than it did to him. She knew she had to put a stop to it, because someone was going to get hurt. And that someone was likely to be her.

Lost in her thoughts she drained the bottle and tossed it into the recycling bin before running her hand through her hair sighing to herself. 

“I’m fucked.” 

**** Chapter 2