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kinetic-elaboration · 4 years

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August 13: 1x10 The Corbomite Maneuver

So I watched The Corbomite Maneuver with my mom and B together today. It was interesting... Tbh I would almost rather watch each ep twice with each of them alone but I figure there’s no non-rude way to say that lol.

At any rate this is one of my favorite episodes. Heck I should just rewatch it by myself lol.

Bailey’s out here in the wilds of undiscovered space ad he’s complaining lol, way to make a first impression.

Spock’s so intense in this early episodes. He likes to raise his voice a lot.

Oh no, it’s.... a windows screen saver!

That sounds mocking but I love the little floating space buoy.

Uh, Sulu, steer around it.

Spock: “Lol why are you yelling??”

Spock in the Captain’s chair: hot.

Kirk working up a sweat: also hot.

Pre-Chekov, the Navigator seat was definitely cursed.

Love how Kirk doesn’t even bother to put his shirt on when he walks out of medbay. Such gratuitous nudity.

McCoy and Kirk are so good in this episode. I feel like people put too much emphasis on McCoy’s grumpiness--he is and you can see that, but he’s also rather sweet and funny. “I’m a doctor, not a moon shuttle conductor.” “I’m going to start talking to myself.”

Kirk walking through the hallways: Lady Gaga plays over the PA system.

(This is a walk walk fashion baby reference.)

Is changing first really necessary? This is an emergency situation.

But of course he doesn’t bother to totally put on the shirt before he calls Spock.

“Have you considered getting your adrenaline gland removed?” At least Sulu appreciate Spock’s humor.

Scotty: I don’t know what’s going on here. And that’s my report.

“I’ll take that into consideration... when this becomes a democracy.”

Twenty-fourth century staff meetings: still a drag! Sulu literally falling asleep at the desk.

“And you don’t recommend sticking around.” Come on guys, laugh at the Captain’s joke! (He’s such a nerd omg.)

The infamous Emotional Security Scene... Honestly Spock don’t you know the main job of a First Officer is to provide emotional security?

Also they’re in love just fyi.

“Gentleman, do your homework, or I shall send you to your rooms.”

He demands the best from everyone but no one more than himself!!!

If Bailey was promoted too fast then how did 22 year old Ensign Chekov end up with the navigator position?

GREEN LEAVES? FOR A MEAL?

Lbr a male yeoman would be no easier for Confirmed Bisexual Captain Kirk.

A red alert! Excellent excuse to abandon the salad.

I gotta say I still don’t know what that big-ass ball is? A planet? A ship? A space station? I think a space station. Anyway it looks too much like a virus for me.

Kirk introducing the Enterprise as an Earth vessel... ah the good UESPA days.

I adore this Kirk speech. It’s really the essence of Star Trek to me. The core of the utopian vision of traveling out into the unknown with good intentions and goodwill and optimism and hope. We want to meet new beings and make new friends. And when we have misunderstandings, we continue to believe that our core good faith will be reciprocated. I’ve just been really disheartened by all the bad faith in the world, and it makes me value good faith more and that’s what Kirk and the Enterprise crew always had, and it’s so soothing.

Also this is the speech Simon P/gg literally just wholesale stole from so there is that.

Sulu out here doing two jobs because Bailey’s asleep at the wheel.

Well at least Spock’s enjoying himself, learning new things.

Bailey, go to your room.

“Jim, it’s time for my allotted single use of your first name.”

This is another good K/S moment though!! Their connection! That “I’m sor--” Fuck that’s good shit.

Bones, breaking out the threat of making notations in the official record again. That really is his main weapon and I love that.

“Bones, you’ve given me a great idea--poker!” Kirk’s so smart. I love him so much. I don’t have anything deep to say I just adore him.

WHAT

I COMPLETELY FORGOT THIS WAS IN HERE. RANDOM SAREK REFERENCE I’M???

Like.... my mom and I are still talking about this. He’s just gonna interrupt the crisis to be like “hey this random alien reminds me of my father, who was also distant and authoritarian and a little scary but whose approval I desperately seek to this day.” And everyone��s like “weird?” and Spock’s like “my dad’s great though even though I haven’t spoken to him in nearly twenty years.”

Did Sulu set that countdown up himself?

More K/S flirting. “You interested in poker, Mr. Spock? I’d.... love to teach it to you.”

A great Sulu expression there.

Kirk’s really having fun now. At least he and Spock are having a good day.

“I hope I’ve satisfied your curiosity, SPOCK.”

Janice is so underrated. Using a phaser to make coffee.

Scotty just wants a BREAK lol, give him and the ship some REST.

Another thing I love about Kirk is that he never hesitates to do whatever he has to do to save other beings. Ever. There is no question that if the alien is in distress, he’s going to save the alien. And Spock seems kinda surprised at this but like he really shouldn’t be? He is himself a pacifist who cares deeply about protecting life.

Taking Dr. McCoy to take care of the aliens and Baily to learn some stuff.

“Captain, permission to--” “Denied.” Wow, rude.

Spock just wants to see the aliens.

“I need you here” tho??

This is one of the few times they actually discussed what they were beaming into lol.

Lol @ McCoy not feeling adventurous.

What a decadent little alien.

I’d actually forgotten about the puppet face... I’d only remembered what the real alien looked like, not that he had a fake persona. I find it a little weird that he thought he knew enough about humans to know what they would find scary or not--I guess he might have been able to tell by looking at them when they did get their connection going, that they were much bigger than he was, at least.

Spock would have LOVED this opportunity to check out the alien ship.

I love the ultimate Lesson of the ep but I also can’t BELIEVE Kirk is out here just giving away Starfleet officers.

So... I get that the distress call was fake because he wanted to test them--a test Kirk passed EASILY btw--but was the rest of it real? Did he really take offense at their destruction of the buoy? What is the point of the buoy? (Because it really did seem designed to keep people away.) Was he really going to kill them, or take them prisoner? Is the First Federation real?

Like many other Star Trek episodes, it leaves a lot of questions for further consideration.

I like to think the First Federation is real and that Balok was just on the outer edges of THEIR space (hence why he’s all alone) and that eventually the First Federation and the United Federation become friends, perhaps with Bailey as Ambassador.

Also it’s way too late and I’m still hungry and so I can’t really unpack this but...there’s also the whole question of how Kirk sees himself in Bailey. I mean there’s a lot to contemplate in that. I didn’t think Bailey was all that tbqh and he also wasn’t what I picture young Kirk to be (not nerdy enough) but he was obviously included to give us yet another aspect of the Captain, in what my mom rightfully pointed out was his big introduction (considering this is literally ep 2 in production order).

Next up: The Menagerie Part One! Some good old Pike action.

#star trek tos #the year 2020 #2020: fandom thoughts #2020: star trek

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valxntinablanco-blog · 5 years

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( Nathalie Kelley, cis-female, she/her ) ♛ Isn’t that Valentina Blanco? The thirty-four year old model turned fashion designer is unmistakable. She has a reputation for being astute and charismatic, but also vain and manipulative. There’s a reason they call she The Viper of the jet set, after all. — Cleo, she/her, 20, EST

hi hiiiii! i just wanted to briefly introduce myself before i dive a lil deeper into val. i’m a sagittarius, i’m a stoner, and i’m probably the chillest person you’re gonna come across in your life—not to brag. just to disclose, this is a pretty rough intro to val because i’m literally coming up with it as i rip bong so don’t judge me(: but she’s basically just ur average entitled supermodel.

name: valentina renée blanco

age: thirty-four

birthday and sign: november 22nd, 1985 — scorpio sun, pisces moon, aries rising

gender & pronouns: cis-female, she/her

sexual orientation: pansexual

birth place: upper east side, new york

nationality: american, argentinian, and french (from her father’s side, she’s learned)

ethnicity: argentinian and french

spoken languages: english and spanglish (her spanish is broken)

career: former (sometimes still active) supermodel, owner and designer of fashion line: Blanco

hobbies: shopping, drawing up new designs, keeping her instagram feed aesthetically pleasing, drinking sangria, going to events, sunbathing in Santorini.

character inspiration: miranda priestly (the devil wears prada), kathryn mertuil (cruel intentions), the duchess (the wolf of wall street).

History:

> Valentina was born and raised in Manhattan, the only child to supermodel Sofia Blanco. She never knew her father, but she never needed to; her mother loved her enough for the both of them. She was born into a life of opulence, knowing what money tasted and smelled and felt like at five better than most people ten-times her senior ever could have.

> She was photographed with her mom as a kid all the time whenever paparazzi caught them out, and it led the media to fall in love with little Val to the point where she ended up child modeling.

> Her career blossomed into something huge when she was just sixteen. She managed to snag a deal with Chanel and became the newest, and youngest face of Coco Mademoiselle. From there, she continued signing deals and soon transitioned into runway when she was deemed the ‘youngest supermodel in the world.’ (at the time)

> When she began walking runway, she found a new appreciation for fashion design and knew in the long-run that it was an avenue she’d want to go down further along in her career. In the meantime, she cashed checks with her natural talent of modeling while picking up the tips and tricks of the trade from everyone she met in the business.

> While maintaining an active career, she went to college at F.I.T in NYC to study fashion design and marketing and excelled in school, even managing to make the Dean’s List every other semester. Due to her circumstances, she was mainly teaching herself the material and only came into class for hands-on work, tests, and to submit homeworks—apparently the experiences from a supermodel gave her a leg-up in her schooling.

> She had a few acting gigs; mainly as a cameo playing herself in a few teen television shows including The OC, Gossip Girl, 90210 and Degrassi.

> In her twenties, she had more than a few brief trysts that garnered a lot of attention from the media including but not limited to: Drake, Leonardo DiCaprio, Kristen Stewart, George Clooney, and Lady Gaga.

Personality:

> She has a bit of a God-Complex, perpetuated by her coddled and spoiled upbringing, her rise to stardom, and now her very successful fashion brand. Valentina does it all and can do no wrong, at that. She’s walked the walk better than almost everyone, and she can certainly talk the talk to back it up. She knows who she is, but she fails to remember that the world doesn’t revolve around her—despite how much she believes it does.

> Though she was romantically linked to a quite a few celebrities throughout the years, Valentina thinks of herself as the all-time bachelorette. Something like a Samantha Jones from Sex and the City, she doesn’t like to tie herself down to one person: a) because she gets bored easily, and b) because she has yet to meet someone that can offer her more than she can offer herself.

> She may not be the realest person you’ve ever met, as she’ll easily smile in your face and roll her eyes as soon as she turns away from you but she’s certainly the most resourceful. She has the uncanny ability to establish and maintain a connection with anyone that can benefit her, feeding them whatever they need to hear to keep her needs met from them until she either finds something better or they simply stop benefitting her.

> There is nothing that she hates more than repeating herself. Whenever she speaks, her words have value—she’s certainly not speaking for her words to fall upon deaf ears so if you don’t catch it the first time, it’s your loss. She has no patience for people that fail to recognize the importance of information. At the same token, she cannot stand when people speak merely to be heard; not every thought needs to be voiced, and if your words have no value to them, then she doesn’t want to hear it.

> She has a black oriental cat named Beso; he is two. Being a cat person runs in her family though—her mother had bought beautiful pure-bred siamese cat named sphynx that was just a kitten when Valentina was born. The two grew up together and Val was devastated when the cat passed away when she was thirteen.

> She’s a firm believer in crystals and their healing powers; she keeps a few large ones in her office and smaller ones to carry around in her purse. Her favorites include: blue tiger’s eye, selenite, and titanium aura quartz. Val’s also very big on dreaming; she has vivid dreams that she remembers every night and she swears that they contain signs and sometimes even visions in them. She doesn’t always tell people that though, because she knows they’d look at her like she’s crazy.

Wanted Connections:

hey again!! i’m just putting these because i just thought of them but i’m literally open to anything that y’all can think of — hit me with all the plottttzzzzz!!

> Life-long Rival: I definitely want Val’s ego to be tested a bit, since it can be quite over-inflated at times. I’m sure this person was probably a model the same time Val was an active model and they were often compared. Their feud was 100% instigated by the media, and while they were all smiles in interviews, behind-the-scenes, they definitely both perpetuated the rivalry. Now that Val’s mostly out of the game, I’m sure she’s let it go a bit, but I know she still doesn’t like them and they probably feel the same.

> Unfinished Business: Perhaps the longest “relationship” she’s ever had began just after her twenty-sixth birthday and ended before the next one. It began in secrecy; a stolen kiss at the VMA’s turned into sneaking off to the coat-check at the Met Gala, leaving the shoot early led to missed interviews the next morning. It was lovely and exhilarating—not to mention the sex was beyond great. They woke up in each other’s arms and dreamt of each other as they slept just inches away from each other in bed. It was the first time that Val prioritized someone else over her career, and when she realized this, it sent her running. No note, no explanation; just blue messages sending green as she blocked the distraction out of her life.

#jetsetintro #{ about }#//this is rough but it's all i could think of right now LOL #but hit me tf up!!!!

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my-name-is-reginald-george · 6 years

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Regina’s First Pride

Regina’s outfit was meticulously planned: a light pink crop top with dark pink high waisted shorts, pale pink Vans and knee-high lesbian flag socks. She looked hot, if she did say so herself, and she marched up the steps to Janis’ front door like she owned the place, her bag full of carefully selected tubes of paint thrown haphazardly over her shoulder.

Janis answered the door looking more excited than Regina had ever seen her. She was wearing the same ripped black shorts layered over tights that she wore every day, a borderline fashion crime that Regina had grown surprisingly fond of, but she’d swapped out her usual baggy jacket with a red checkered flannel and wearing ten times more gay than she’d ever dare at school. Rainbow socks peeked out of rainbow-laced combat boots, her black t-shirt had the words “I’m gay” written in big rainbow letters on the front, she was wearing a rainbow belt and even fucking rainbow suspenders.

She was grinning so big that Regina decided it didn’t even matter that her flannel clashed with all the rainbow accessories.

“So are you excited for your first pride?!” Janis asked, her eyes lighting up in that way that had Regina swooning just a little.

“Very excited,” Regina said. “Thanks so much for coming with.”

“Of course!” Janis said. “We’re all friends now. Oh, and Damien said to tell you he wishes he could be here and sends his love from Florida.”

Regina laughed. She loved her friends.

Since getting hit by the bus near the end of last year, she’d lost a lot of her power. Sure, people still moved out of her way in the halls, and she could still make freshmen boys cry with a well placed glare, but people were less intimidated by her, less worshipful.

However, she’d strengthened her relationships with both Karen and Gretchen, cutting out the power dynamics of their old friendships and replacing them with sleepovers and movie marathons and secrets that actually stayed secret. Also, with the help of an over enthusiastic Cady, she’d become pretty good friends with Janis and Damien. The latter was easy as she and Damien were both very extra and very gay, and once she stopped being a massive bitch, friendship between the two was almost effortless. They spent a lot of time together in Damien’s basement binge watching RuPaul and painting each other’s nails.

Janis had been harder. Another downside to not being a massive bitch was that you actually had to feel things, and as soon as Regina had allowed herself to have human emotions, which happened to be at the end of Spring Fling, she’d been hit with a wave of guilt so hard that she thought she was going to throw up. She immediately stumbled over to Janis, tears forming in her eyes and apologies rolling off her lips. Admittedly, it must have been quite the sight: Regina George in all her spinal halo-d glory, mascara streaking down her face as she bawled her eyes out to Janis Sarkisian.

Eventually, Janis had realized that Regina was on a lot of drugs and probably was not going to stop crying anytime soon, so she dragged her outside the school and sat her down on a bench, trying to calm the hysterics.

“I know I don’t deserve it, but please forgive me,” Regina had said, looking down at her lap.

“I forgave you as soon as you got hit by that bus,” Janis said back.

Regina had looked up at that, catching Janis’ soft smile and giving her a rather watery one back.

“You did?”

“Yeah. Doesn’t mean I’m gonna trust you right away, and doesn’t mean I’m not gonna totally make you make it up to me, but yeah. And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry I tried to mess up your life, and I’m sorry you got hit by that bus.”

“Don’t be, I deserved it,” Regina had told her, laughing bitterly.

Janis had shook her head, looked directly into her eyes and said something Regina would never forget, “You didn’t deserve to die, if only for a few seconds.”

The air was tense around them for a few seconds before Janis had shrugged and added, “Maybe you deserved Cady stealing your boyfriend, though. I’m not all that sorry about that one.”

“They’re cute together. And besides, I didn’t really care about Aaron all that much. Or Shane. Or any guy, for that matter.”

And that was how Regina George had come out to Janis Sarkisian.

Since then, she and Janis had gone from tolerating each other, to kind of enjoying each other’s presence, to actively making plans to hang out, to becoming friends. They still weren’t as close as they were in eighth grade, and Janis was still more closed off with Regina than she was with the others, but Janis was even more amazing that Regina remembered, and their friendship was so much more than she deserved.

So, yeah, Regina might not be the HBIC she used to be, but she wouldn’t trade any of her friends for all of that power back. She was glad to be a part of their odd group of plastics and art freaks and Aaron and even the mathletes, who were way more tolerable than Regina would have ever expected.

“Earth to Regina,” Janis teased, waving her hand in front of Regina’s face.

“Sorry, what?” Regina said, blushing a little.

Janis just rolled her eyes goodnaturedly and grabbed Regina’s wrist, pulling her into her house and shutting the door behind them.

“I said we need to get your face paint done so we can head out.”

Ten minutes later, Regina and Janis were sat on the kitchen floor, Regina’s paints between them. Janis was painting a little lesbian pride flag on Regina’s right cheek, careful strokes of pink streaking across delicate skin.

“So what were you thinking about that had you zoning out earlier?” Janis asked, swirling her brush in a cup of water set off to the side.

“Just how much I love you losers,” Regina said with a smile. Only a few months ago, she would’ve been loathe to admit she cared about them at all, but a lot had changed in those few months.

“It’s nice when your friends aren’t just your friends because they’re scared of you, isn’t it?” Janis said, giving Regina a look that was half pointed half teasing.

Regina rolled her eyes and murmured in agreement just as Janis’ stomach growled. She looked up at Janis, who was still painting and wouldn’t meet her eyes.

“Jan?” she said, raising an eyebrow. “Did you eat this morning?”

“No,” Janis mumbled, still not meeting Regina’s eye.

Regina huffed.

“Babe, we talked about this. How many times do Cady and I have to tell you that it’s not healthy to skip breakfast? Especially not when we’re about to be out walking around in the sun for hours. You need something on your stomach to keep your strength, ideally protein.”

Janis furrowed her brow, continuing to paint Regina’s face with more concentration than was probably necessary. She finished the last stripe before answering.

“I just forgot this morning because I was so excited about pride. Geez, you don’t have to give me a lecture.”

Regina bit back the, “Clearly, I do,” on the tip of her tongue.

“You’re right,” she said instead. “I shouldn’t have been so condescending about it. It’s your life and your health, so I can’t tell you what to do. I just care about you and want you to be healthy, Jan. Can I make you some eggs?”

Janis seemed thoroughly surprised with that and nodded dumbly, moving to get the eggs out of the fridge.

“I guess you’re kinda right, too,” she said, her back to Regina. “I should take better care of myself.”

Regina smirked in victory and grabbed a pan from the cabinet below the stove. She turned on the burner and popped a couple of pieces of bread into the toaster while she waited for it to heat up. Janis packed the paints back up while Regina scrambled an egg on the stove.

“I see you’ve made yourself something, too,” Janis grinned, eyeing Regina’s toast, which she’d covered in peanut butter and bananas, once they were sat at the table.

“Yeah, well, I figured it’d be awkward if I just sat here and watched you eat.”

Janis shrugged, scooping a forkful of eggs into her mouth.

“That’s fair.”

After they ate, Janis tried to leave immediately, but Regina dragged Janis back into the kitchen by one of her suspenders and made her help with the dishes, arguing that it wasn’t fair to Janis’ single mother to leave dirty breakfast dishes out.

When they finally left, Janis spent a solid five minutes trying to convince Regina to hop on the back of her motorcycle, but although Regina had become a lot nicer and more considerate of other people’s thoughts and feelings, she was still the most stubborn person at Northshore, and she was decidedly not going to ride on the bike any time soon.

They went in Regina’s little black hybrid convertible (Regina may have been a bitch, but she’d always cared about the environment, she was just more vocal about it now). Janis nabbed the aux cord and forced Regina to listen to Arctic Monkeys, a band the blonde refused to admit she kinda liked, and soon enough, they were searching for a parking spot.

“Alright, so we’re gonna watch the parade, and then we’re gonna go hang out in a nearby field for the rest of the day,” Janis said as they got out of the car.

“A field?” Regina said, cocking her head to the side. Just because she cared about the environment didn’t mean she really enjoyed being outdoors. Outdoors was dirty, and she didn’t have the time, the patience, or the outfits for dirt.

Janis smirked and grabbed her by the wrist, dragging her towards an empty spot on the side of the street.

“Trust me, princess. You’re gonna love it.”

Regina loved it. When the first float passed, a bunch of drag queens voguing to Lady Gaga, she decided immediately that this was going to be one of the best experiences of her life. Apparently, the people who marched in these parades tended to hand out something, like candy or ribbons or pins or plastic mardi gras necklaces. All of Regina’s things went into her backpack, but Janis wore anything she possibly could, which included tucking a lollipop in a rainbow wrapper behind her ear and pouting when it fell on the concrete and cracked.

Regina got the attention of a lot of the queer girl marchers (which, like, duh. Have you seen her?), and Janis attracted a fair amount of girls, too, which increased the amount of stuff they got tenfold, making her doubly glad she brought her backpack. Regina could have sworn Janis’ megawatt smile dampened every time one of the marchers, or sometimes other onlookers, would ask for Regina’s number. She shook off the feeling, figuring she was probably just being delusional and remembering that she was still trying to get over her (not so) small crush on Janis, and ended up pulling a pen from her bag and writing her number down on a fair amount of hands, ending up with a few written up her own arm.

After the parade was over, Janis bought them tacos from one of the food trucks parked in the field where the rest of the event was being held. They sat on a picnic bench a little ways away from the makeshift stage where the hayley kiyoko cover band was playing. She smiled softly at Janis, kicking at her ankle and taking a big bite out of her taco. There was something about being surrounded by other queer people that was just magical and right.

If you had told junior year Regina George that she was going to feel happier than she ever had when she was sitting on a picnic table outside, dressed like a human lesbian pride flag and eating greasy food truck tacos next to Janis Sarkisian of all people, she would have laughed in your face. But there Regina was, feeling nothing but cheerfulness and utter belonging.

#mean girls musical #mean girls broadway #regina george x janis sarkisian #regina x janis #fanfic #mine #i might write more rejanis if you guys like this #idk i just have a lot of ideas for them

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skold · 7 years

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this post is Marina’s List Of Favorite and/or Iconic Music Videos

this could also be subtitled as: if you truly want to understand me as a person, watch these videos because it’ll answer a lot of questions

it’s gonna be a long one so i’ll pop it under a cut

alright we goin by artist then chronological

AIDEN

knife blood nightmare - this is iconic for me simply bc i rly wanted to look like wil in this video so bad in 6th grade.

die romantic - WHAT A BOP. i used to do my black eyeshadow like wil in this video too lmao

ALL TIME LOW

poppin champagne - because blonde alex and also?? honestly?? what a wild video. this is truly late 00s oversaturated pop punk at its finest

i feel like dancin - i’m not the biggest fan of this record or even this song in general but this is like, quintessential all time low to me video-wise. like. it’s everything i want from an all time low video.

ARCHITECTS

follow the water - or as sam carter says, follow the wah-uh. first of all i love that this is in a church. second of all when will i get to go to an architects show this lit here in the states

heartburn - bc they all look pretty. ok. aesthetically on point as well.

AVENGED SEVENFOLD

beast and the harlot - i don’t always bop this song but when i do, the whole cul de sac does too. no but really this was so influential to middle school me i wanted nothing more than a boyfriend who looked like zacky or jimmy and whatever eyeshadows zacky was wearing in this clip

BLINK 182

i miss you - the video that inspired this post. THE AESTHETIQUE. 20′s inspired romantigoth film noir. i don’t yell about this music video enough.

BRING ME THE HORIZON

chelsea smile - it’s literally just a house part video but the song literally defines the year 2009 for me. emetophobia warning at 1:08

it never ends - this video got mad shit but i love it. pretty heavy gore throughout this video

alligator blood - CREEPY ASS AESTHETIC SHIT!!!! i live for it. 16 y/o me had it so bad for matt nicholls and him getting tied up and violated was like, god tier for me

visions - more creepy aesthetic shit. the videos on there is a hell were underrated

THE DEVIL WEARS PRADA

hey john what’s your name again? - i gotta throw this one in just bc this hurls my ass right back to the year 2008. that bible imagery. those haircuts. it was a better time for music

html rules d00d - THIS SONG STILL SLAPS LMAO DON’T READ ME

ELISSA FRANCESCHI

salt - i’m not crying you’re crying!!! how did anne and christian franceschi manage to spawn two flawless and talented siblings!!!!!!

EVERY TIME I DIE

ebolarama - it’s a performance video in a roller rink what more could you want

wanderlust - you’ve probably caught on to the fact that i love creepy aesthetic shit.

decayin with the boys - THIS VIDEO HAS ME HOWLING. there are too many good moments to list here but the personal highlight is the dude admiring the lesbians making out, then he turns and admires they gays making out at about the 1:30 mark. also the jenga dream sequence. there’s a dick in this video, just a heads up. and a whole bootyass. i love andy williams. mild emetophobia tw at 2:30

FOXY SHAZAM

a dangerous man - eric nally’s screeching was the soundtrack of 2008

i like it - the chorus of this song is literally just “that’s the biggest black ass i’ve ever seen and i like it” and i have nothing more to say

holy touch - it’s a performance video but it’s. different. i really don’t wanna ruin this by saying too much about it. that’s just kinda how foxy shazam were. this song is a fucking banger. yes, they did have a trumpet player in the official lineup.

FRNKIERO ANDTHE CELLABRATION

joyriding - another performance video that’s. different. lmao. aesthetically perfect

GOOD CHARLOTTE

lifestyles of the rich and famous - the proletariat banger we weren’t ready for in 2002, but we’re ready now.

girls and boys - old people being punk rock. that’s all.

predictable - i SPECIFICALLY remember watching this on the good charlotte website the day this dropped. THE EARLY 2000S BAD CG IS REAL. i was literally ten years old but i somehow Felt every word of that spoken bridge, man. WHEN THE LITTLE GIRL GIVES JOEL THE ROSE AND IT TURNS BLACK i deadass thought that was so fucking dope y’all

i just wanna live - ignoring the irony of joel whining about being famous, this video had THE MEMES.

GREEN DAY

longview - iconic simply by virtue of being their first video.

when i come around - ask me about my favorite songs of All Time and i’ll probably mention this one. it’s still great nowadays. i love all the shots of berkeley.

brain stew/jaded - this is such a great piece of art lmao the fucking. sludgy feeling of brain stew going into the chaos of jaded is great on the record, but even better in video form going from being stoned in sepia to tripping acid in an oversaturated cluttered space

walking contradiction - comedy gold

hitchin a ride - creepy weirdness and an iconic bassline. also mike dirnt looks fine as hell in this video

minority - i’m running out of ways to explain that a video is iconic to me purely bc of how important the song was to me at a given time lmao.

american idiot - is there anything i can truly say about this video? it was perfect in 2004, it’s perfect in 2017. uncomfortably relevant. epilepsy warning for strobe lighting effects in the second half

holiday - technically this was released before blvd, but since it chronologically precedes blvd in the story, i’m putting it first. this is like 90% here for the bridge section y’all. fucking iconic. i wore a fedora on the first day of sixth grade bc tre cool wore one in this video. not my proudest fashion moment. emetophobia warning at 1:56 but them playing EVERY character in the bar scene is perfection

boulevard of broken dreams - ah yes, 2005′s most overplayed song. i could not escape this song. every time the intro started everyone would just look at me bc i was The Green Day Chick. this video is aesthetically perfect though. shout out to mike dirnt’s jawline in profile

HOZIER

work song - first of all, this song makes me cry. second of all, the video is dreamy as fuck. it gives me irl chills. i love the choreography so much. the whole vibe is very modern southern gothic. and it’s incredibly intimate feeling without being... sexual or vulgar, i guess.

IN THIS MOMENT

adrenalize - first of all i’m gay. second of all i’m gay. this video is decidedly nsfw

whore - aesthetically pleasing. chris motionless being subby is the real highlight here

sick like me - again, it’s here for the aesthetic.

big bad wolf - also aesthetic but THIS MAKEUP LOOK. maria’s makeup look in this video is actually literally my aesthetic goal. epilepsy warning for strobe light effects

sex metal barbie - say it with me: aesthetic. i also love this one bc the lyrics are largely lifted from people talking shit about maria on the internet, shaming her for being a woman with sexuality and agency, so fuck yes i support it. mild body horror warning for this one

JOHN 5

making monsters - john’s videos are mostly performance based but this one is so cute lmao. where do i cop a j5 action figure

LADY GAGA

paparazzi - i’m only including the RLY vital gaga videos here and the full version of paparazzi is her best work imo......

bad romance - .......but bad romance is a close second.

telephone - i can’t not include this one though. the collab of the decade.

LINKIN PARK

one step closer - i think this was the first linkin park video i saw Back In The Day......... it was 2 heavy 4 baby me at the time lmao but nowadays it’s one of my fave lp songs. the video is super corny let’s be real but it was 2000

numb - this song is so fucking emo but i love it. the video is like peak emo too. i swear the main girl in this video was like my fashion icon at the time. layered tank tops, ripped loose jeans, oversized hoodies and jackets. i wanted her hair so bad lmao

what i’ve done - this video is really visually solid. i thought this was like the Deepest Shit in middle school lmao

MARILYN MANSON

sweet dreams (are made of this) - THE CINNAMON TOPOGRAPHY!!! god i have no complaints about this video except that twiggy is in it. visual fx?? dope. wardrobe?? dope. location?? dope. manson in the wedding dress?? dope. unsanitary warning for the later half of the video bc manson gets pooped on by birds lmao

tourniquet - one of my fave vocal performances by manson tbh. i prefer this one of the two videos floria did w/ manson.

long hard road out of hell - femme manson and religious imagery need i elaborate

the dope show - the first manson video i ever saw. i was... so creeped out lmao. LOOKS ON LOOKS ON LOOKS. john 5 lookin like a snack in this one

i don’t like the drugs (but the drugs like me) - this is probably the most heavy-handed manson has ever been with the christ allegory lmao and yet......... i love it. also shout out to manson and rose’s dogs bug and uncle fester for guest starring. body horror tw here

coma white - basically a flawless music video i have nothing to say here that isn’t already said by the video itself

disposable teens - everybody looks great in this one except twiggy fuck twiggy. i actually love the mtv version of this video too, which is all performance, but i can’t seem to find it rn??

the fight song - one of my fave manson looks. those boooooots tho. the gloooovessssss. i’m gross let me live

tainted love - sorry to send y’all to vimeo for this one but i couldn’t find one on youtube that didn’t look like it was filmed with a potato or watermarked. y’all slept on the genius of this video tbh

mobscene - hello it is me gaogfucker666.

this is the new shit - still me, gaogfucker666. this video feels misinterpreted too honestly

(s)AINT (director’s cut) - specifically the director’s cut bc more tim skold in a dress and boots smoking a cigarette. this video is seriously fucking nsfw. needles, drugs, sexual content, vomit etc watch with caution pls

personal jesus - i love this glam rock look so much. tim looks so good in this he never wore the look again bc he knew he looked so good we could never handle it a second time.

putting holes in happiness - I CAN’T FIND the extended version with tim’s full solo and i wanna scream. but. here’s the official version

say10 (short) - i really fucking wish he’d compounded off this for the official say10 video, beheaded orange man or not. just the verse. it’s so good. moody and creepy and AHHH.

we know where you fucking live - heed the warning at the beginning lmao. i honestly loved this video. i know some people thought it was edgy but i rly rly don’t see that. it’s offensive and obscene yeah but it doesn’t have that edgelord feel, as much as i love to call him an edgelord.

MOTIONLESS IN WHITE

reincarnate - old school horror vibes!!! as a Humble Fetishist of Boots and Gloves, this is a great video. also this is one of those songs where i Feel the lyrics for real

eternally yours - THE COLORS!!! THE FUCKIN IN A COFFIN!!!! i have nothing more to say

MOTLEY CRUE

looks that kill - please watch this corny ass fuckin 1983 ass hair metal ass music video. please. i’m tryna add more shout at the devil era nikki sixx vibes to my wardrobe tbh

wild side - i love a late 80s arena performance video ok also where do i cop nikki’s shirt

dr. feelgood - i will always credit this as one of the songs that made me want to play bass tbh

MY CHEMICAL ROMANCE

vampires will never hurt you - too emo to view with the naked eye.

i’m not okay (i promise) - the video that spawned a million high school AUs. god i love this one. even watching without the nostalgia goggles it’s great.

helena - perhaps my favorite music video of all time? if not then top 3. this video still remains my ideal aesthetic 12 years later. HOW I’M TRYNA BE. i just wanna look like an extra in this video, okay.

the ghost of you - time to cry!!!!! emetophobia warning at 0:47

welcome to the black parade - it’s hard for me to talk about these videos bc they’re so universally iconic that to explain why i love them so much would be mostly redundant.

famous last words - see above. this song means the world to me

desolation row - if i had to pick a video other than helena to look like an extra in i’d pick this one. has gerard ever looked this good, before or after this video?? peak.

NINE INCH NAILS

down in it - these are getting linked to vimeo since the official nin account has them all uploaded there in better quality. anyway i love so many of the shots in this video and i love the colors and i love bab trent

head like a hole - SO dated y’all but bab trent leveled up and became baby dread trent.

happiness in slavery - this is seriously graphic. but it’s great. also where’s the extended version that shows trent getting eaten by the weird carnivorous robot

gave up - bABY BRIAN!! infants, y’all. INFANTS.

march of the pigs - it’s a one-take performance video but it’s...... so much more than that. this video hurts me in my hand/glove kink.

closer - this is in the top 3 with helena honestly. it is... a piece of art film before all else. a Must Watch.

burn - another case of a video being important to me because of the song it’s for tbh.

the perfect drug - marc romanek is a GOD. also a piece of art film honestly. just y’all wait till i make my dnd character based on trent in this video lmao

starfuckers, inc - hm, another nin video that trent invited manson to be in. interesting. all memes aside it’s a great video even as much as i hate the use of the “fat = ugly” trope. epilepsy warning for flashing effects in the last part of the video

deep - why. are. y’all. SLEEPING ON THIS!!!!

only - this may have been the first nin video i willingly saw and recognized as nin. this video still holds up, especially with it being 95% cgi and still looking as good as it does.

ROB ZOMBIE

living dead girl - the theme song of my life??? iconic couple costume idea????

meet the creeper - i have to include this video because it’s BAD. it’s terrible and i fucking love it

american witch (live version) - WHEN ROB PICKS UP JOHN AND STARTS SPINNING HIM AROUND!!!! this is here specifically for all the long hair john content

dead city radio and the new gods of supertown - the aesthetic. everybody looks great. matt is in a gorilla suit

well everybody’s fucking in a ufo - highly nsfw. where do i begin with this fucking hot mess...... sheri’s huge fake boobs. john and matt and ginger as astronauts. john jerkin off. the aliens with dicks. the fact that the whole story is about getting gang banged by aliens???? nothing will ever reach this level

SKOLD

self titled promotional clip - epilepsy warning for a lot of flashing and smash cuts. sort of a few partial music videos in one, but there are only two official skold videos, so i gotta include both of them. the quality is garbage. it’s so incredibly 1996. yet i love it. the last song, anything, is pretty nsfw as in there’s actual femdom porn clips but this is why i love it.

better the devil - if there were more skold videos i’d put them here. but as i said there are only two. tim out there lookin like not just a snack but a full course meal in 4k quality. goddamn. the only man i can ever truly call d*ddy. tiffany and eli lookin like delicious side dishes as well.

TAKING BACK SUNDAY

you’re so last summer - flava flave is in it

this photograph is proof - this song makes me so fucking nostalgic............. it transports me right back to eighth grade lmao. tbs were one of my fave bands in middle school.

makedamnsure - the most emo song of all time?? side note regarding tbs: real talk, being fat in middle school, seeing another fat person in a band was so fucking reassuring and great. i love eddie.

liar (it takes one to know one) - these visual effects are SO cool, even now.

YOU ME AT SIX

jealous minds think alike - ART... no but actually look at these literal fetuses. i fucking love this song. it’s probably my fave track on take off your colours.

kiss and tell - you right it’s another house party video BUT. baby josh with an undercut. he must be 18 or barely 19 here??

liquid confidence - WHEN YOU GOT NOTHING TO LOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOSE

stay with me - jkfljkghdfskljgs okay serious time: this song got me through a seriously rough part of my life and i have the title tattooed on me partially because of the video.

loverboy - i have never seen a fandom in such utter chaos as the ymas fandom was on the day this video dropped. holy fucking shit. the THIRST was REAL.

bite my tongue - peak ymas captured in one music video. that’s truly the most important part. that peak sns era ymas was preserved forever in this video.

lived a lie - is it bad if i still kinda want a “we are believers” tattoo lmao. i really....... love this song a lot. is it obvious by now that ymas love a big chorus lmao

give - this song gives me The Feels. it deserved better than a performance video in an empty arena but it’s all we got, so here it is.

#well this took for fucking ever #and will probably get no notes bc it's a personal post #which is fine but #i hope y'all appreciated my commentary anyway lmao #do not lose #i will likely update this as my faves continue to release gr8 videos

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boystownbirdie · 7 years

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LMWTV4U: GOT S7E6

Welcome back to Let Me Watch TV 4 U, the blog where I watch TV for you! Tonight we’re talking bout Game of Thrones season 7 episode 6, “Beyond the Wall” aka Disney Presents The Walking Dead on Ice! Let’s jump right in to this icy abyss, shall we?!

SPOILERS AHEAD!

We open on a curious panning across of a map, and no I’m not talking about the opening credits. It looks like the giant map/table in Dragonstone?

However we quickly cut to our Eastwatch crew...

...who are marching one by one further and further North. We’ve got Bae, (the artist formerly known as) Stoney, New-Thor (let’s just say Thor, shall we? He’s not so new anymore), Gingerbae, Gingerbun, Eyepatch, the Hound and approx 5 rando nightswatch dudes and/or wildlings who are doomed because no backstory = dead first.

First, we get some ice-breakers (sorry can’t stop won’t stop) when Thor tells us he’s never even seen snow before and I’m like bb boi come here to Chicago I’ll show you some midwestern winters! Thor is also still feeling a little salty toward Eyepatch and Gingerbun for selling him off to the red witch while the Hound keeps score and is like, Thor you didn’t really have it so bad. Gingerbun hands Thor the olive branch in the form of a flask.

Meanwhile, Gingerbae asks Bae about Khaleesi and Bae is all coy but GB sees right through that. Gingerbae helpfully reminds us that he still loves Brienne of Tarth (aka Ladyknight) very much.

Bae and Stoney swing their swords around (not a euphemism) and Bae tries to give his huge fancy sword to Stoney since it belonged to Stoney’s dad. Stoney is like naw, it’s yours man, give it to your KIDS. And we’re supposed to be thinking, whoa! Is Bae on the market for marriage/kids? Cuz sign us all up! Later Eyepatch tells Bae that Bae doesn’t really look like Ned Stark which, duh, cuz we know Bae is Ned’s nephew. But also Bae’s bio-dad was Khaleesi’s bro and apparently had silver-white hair like her so WHERE DID BAE GET HIS LEWKS FROM? Heaven, apparently.

Before we get into the meat, pun intended, let’s pop into Winterfell, shall we?

Sansa and Arya discuss gender roles and Arya tells us a tale of their dad, Ned Stark, sort of tacitly approving of her being a fighter rather than a lady. And then she’s like, speaking of, dad was killed by the Lannisters with YOUR help, Sansa. Arya brings up the letter she found last week that poor bb Sansa was forced to right by QPC and is not happy about it. And Sansa is really caught off guard but also like STEP ALL THE WAY OFF, I have been THROUGH IT. They argue about the past few years and who’s had it the worst but also as Leslie Knope would say, uteruses before duderuses, ya know?

Later, Sansa is talking to Littlefinger, who set up all this nonsense anyway and he’s like well Ladyknight can be your referee since she lurves both of you? But then Sansa sends Ladyknight away to King’s Landing to be her proxy in this upcoming summit with QPC. Towards the end of ep, Sansa decides to do some snooping of her own a la Arya last week and finds Arya’s suitcase full of faces from the face-swapping-assassin-training-academy which Arya dropped out of after a misunderstanding with a professor who wanted her killed. Sansa is like srsly, WTF? And Arya explains the face-swapping thing which sounds crazy the first time you hear it, but so did dragons and we got them now so all’s fair, right? Arya grabs a knife and basically threatens to cut Sansa’s face off but then hands Sansa the knife and scoots outta there. So at the end of the day, no Stark-on-Stark crime this week but stay tuned!

We pop in to see Khaleesi and Tyrion chatting by the fire…

She’s like, you know what I like about you? You’re not brave. And he’s like umm thanks? And then she’s like all of my fave bois are brave but stupid and she includes Bae on that list. And T is like, so you’re taking a liking to him, eh? They discuss strategy and have a little tiff wherein Khaleesi again questions T’s loyalty. And then he’s like btw, you said you can’t have kids so...who gets to be in charge when you die? And she’s like let’s cross that bridge when we come to it, and he’s like it’s called a LIVING WILL for a reason, babe.

Back North of the wall...

Bae and Gingerbae spot a bear but they’re like, that’s weird… he’s got blue eyes-ahhh zombie bear! Zombie bear kills one of the no-name/ no-backstory guys (like we care!?) and maims Gingerbun. Eyepatch smartly cauterizes the wound with his flaming sword while the Hound is too busy having PTSD about fire. Really unfortunate to be afraid of fire in a world without electricity, huh?

Bae and Gingerbae spot a small crew of ice zombies and decide to take one of them prisoner. During the scuffle, Bae kills a leader-ice-zombie and suddenly all of his pals drop dead too. They find out that you kill the leader, the rest die too- good to know! But in capturing their prisoner-zombie, his squeals seem to alert the 5 million other ice zombies to their location and next thing you know, the crew is about to be trapped. Bae smartly tells Thor to run back to the wall and tell Khaleesi the scoop. Poor Thor has to give up his hammer before he leaves so that the rest of the crew has more zombie-smashing tools.

SOMEHOW, I still don’t understand the logistics of it all, but Bae and crew get stuck on this little island surrounded by a frozen lake. The 5 billion zombies surround them but can’t walk further into the lake without falling in. It’s a real pickle. Luckily, Thor does make it back to the wall to tell No-Knuckles to send word to Khaleesi.

Speaking of Khaleesi, that raven flew fast because she already got the scoop. She is DECKED OUT in her cold-weather best and is heading North to save the day with all 3 dragons. Tyrion is like BAD IDEA HUN but she goes anyway. While Khaleesi flies like the actual wind on her #1 dragon, poor Gingerbun has succumbed to his injures or maybe freezes in the night and is no longer with us. So, much like Rose must let go of frozen Jack (but why does she say “I’ll never let go” as she is literally letting go? I’ll never understand the word choice), Eyepatch has to burn Gingerbun’s body before he becomes a zombie too.

Sidenote: Why didn’t everyone bring weapons made of dragonglass or valyrian steel? We know now that only these 2 things plus fire kills the ice zombies and Bae just mined heaps of dragonglass from Khaleesi’s basement for this very purpose. Sometimes I think I should be the King in the North, ya know!?

But back to the battle, the Hound decides to skip stones across the lake like an idiot, which leads the ice zombies to learn that the lake is frozen solid again. Now that the zombies can cross the lake, they attack the crew and they are VICIOUS. Bae and co retreat to another little island but are completely surrounded and basically dead. Bae is tweakin’ out probably thinking about what a bad idea all of this was, when all of the sudden, Khaleesi’s dragons have landed!

They all fly around burning up ice zombies by the hundreds and narrowly missing our crew. After Khaleesi successfully wipes out a good number of zombies, she lands to let her priority boarding pass holders on dragon #1 with her. Meanwhile, Bae is still fighting off some zombies. The #1 in charge ice zombie aka the Night King, throws a giant ice spear at #2 or #3 dragon (honestly idk, let’s say #3) and makes it on the first try. It’s sad that #3 gets speared and all but I’m kinda like wow nice shot. Dragon #3 falls into the icy water and sinks and Khaleesi is weepin’ about it.

At the same time, Bae is now fully overrun by interloping zombies and this FLIGHT IS ABOUT TO DEPART, honey! He falls into an ice-hole and Khaleesi sees the Night King winding up his ice javelin so she has to go. I know what you’re thinking, wow Bae is super dead, right? He fell into a frozen lake whilst being attacked by zombies. WELL YOU ARE WRONG.

Bae crawls outta that ice hole, grabs his fancy sword, and starts walking. Soon enough the zombies see him walking in a non-zombie-like fashion so they are on it. BUT Bae’s uncle Benjen (who is pretty much the only person whose relationship with Bae is unchanged by his whole bio-dad and bio-mom thing!) rolls up on his horse with his incense-swinger! Uncle B saves Bae (remember Uncle B saved Bran last season?) and sticks him on his horse, but stays behind to fight off zombies with his incense-swinger. Bae, who is like 65% Leo-from-Titanic-frozen at this point, heads back to the wall.

The rest of the crew are back at Eastwatch and we learn that the Hound is the one who’ll be bringing the “sample zombie” back to show QPC. Khaleesi is watching from the top of the wall to see if Bae makes it back while Stoney is like, let it go, he’s dead, I’m alive and recently not-Stoney...when suddenly Bae rides back to camp.

On the ship back to Khaleesi-ville, Khaleesi sees Bae on the operating table and notices that he has a stab-scar on his heart. Remember when Bae died and then got brought back to life but then Bae has been super secretive about it? Well the secret's out babe! She watches him being warmed up/revived and sits there watching him sleep for awhile #gottaenjoytheview. When he wakes up (still topless!) he’s like wow I’m so sorry #3 dragon died this was a horrible plan. And she’s like no, I’m glad I saw the army of zombies. I will fight with you, Bae.

And Bae is like wow, also I know I said I wouldn’t kneel to you but honey, I will. Then he calls her Dany and she’s like...eww...my creepy bro used to call me that. And he’s like well then I’ll just call you MY KWEEN. And I’m like yassss gaga. Also they hold hands. Also, she’s like I can’t have kids, ok?!? So just… cards on the table. They hold hands some more and it looks like we might get a little kiss but naw, she’s G2G.

In our last scene, we see thousands of zombies working together (good for you! teamwork!) to pull dragon #3 out of the frozen lake. The Night King walks over and touches him and BAM! ZOMBIE DRAGON. SHIT IS GONNA GET REAL.

Let’s recap:

Biggest surprise this ep: Uncle Benjen? How did you know Bae was in this part of town?

Biggest letdown: I wanted more witty banter from Thor! Also, enough with the will-they won’t-they, GoT. This isn’t Cheers!

Important fashion moments: Khaleesi’s Wintertime Fantasy Realness was GIVING ME LIFE. THAT. COAT.

Who died this ep? Gingerbun, a lot of ice zombies, Uncle Benjen (although he was kinda already dead?) and dragon #3. RIP Gingerbun I will miss being confused-ly attracted to you.

Thanks for reading! Tell your friends and subscribe!?

#LMWTV4U #gotrecap #gotreview #game of thrones recap #game of thrones review #beyond the wall #got s7e6 #jon snow

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cafephan · 7 years

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dan and phil play golf with friends #2: a summary

DanandPhilGames caddy lads "you loved it, you were like yes the golf lifestyle, i'm wearing expensive polo shirts i'm sipping an overpriced drink, im nattering with the business fellows and hitting that ball" says dan whilst well in the knowledge most of us are shut away in our bedrooms in our pyjamas with not a penny to our name and sipping on tap water "so we're here in the dan and phil golf club and there is a certain dress code, dan" i like to take this as phil foreshadowing the beautiful fashion choices dan is making during this singapore trip even though he clearly isn't foreshadowing anything moment of appreciation for the singapore trip's outfit choices tho please moment over thirty three seconds in we get the first fond glance, hopefully the first of many "the only short sleeved short i have is creased, phil" the look that he's giving phil reeaaalllyyy makes me wonder how it got creased... "i don't care, just go get it on" says phil the fashion meister helllooooo moth shirt my favourite my best friend my one true love "we had green shit in our hair for like three hours after we put these on" who needs context amirite "dan thought i threw these away but no i've been secretly hiding them" ok but how is that so domestic "look how erect my flag is today" / "list of things you should like never say again...." (unless they're off camera to me) ((i finished the quote that the jumpcut edited out)) "you know the rules. we can only do one dan vs phil per game" is that a rule? have they said that before? okay sure let's roll with it they're playing for the burger socks from a few liveshows ago "i ordered this for a friend but they sent two" sure phil a company would clearly go out of their way to send two of the same product meaning they'd be out of profit,,, your friend definitely didn't just give them back to you "do i want to eat them or wear them?" i'm certain that this is not the first time that sentence has come out of dan's mouth "are you excited by that? do you want that? on your feet?" / "i so want the cheese on my foot." *jumpcut* *phil says literally one word and dan is already grinning at him* f o n d "this is something to watch like a sport, and enjoy like a sport" unless you're making a summary of this video meaning you have to rewind every two seconds thanks phil "lingering banter... just enjoy the time between jokes" *both giggle like the dorks they are* "you liked the last one, so strap yourselves in for some golf" "we need to customise our balls" can dan go one gaming vid without dragging tumblr like i go through all of this effort for you pls don't drag me you little curly haired shit "[about the colour of his ball] i would call that moonlight dolphin" dan has gone for plain white this time does this represent him emotionally who knows at the time of filming i like symbolism and connotations they're fun "oh my gosh, it's like... goodness has returned" phil why are you so cute "i'm calling our room dogs9000 today" / "very appropriate" first of all why is it appropriate second of all is that what they called their room on the tour bus "stop. they just do what they want. stop telling them what to do." / "i guess that's valid. i'm sorry, butterflies, you do you." "i'm like so oasis right now" "ancient egypt is my favourite historical period so i'd like to delve into there" i think i've found the next fic trend why are they using the chatroom when their chairs are literally touching and from the front angle it looks as if their hands are too "my pole is so tall you can't even see the flag" again my gut instinct is that it isn't the first time those words have come out of phil's mouth "... and other sentences that phil will never say again" (unless they're off camera to me) ((i finished his quote for him again he should pay me for this)) "beginnu" / "golf it up" dan has more fluidity in his hand movements than phil does take what you will from that information "here we go" / "here we golf" tag urself "oh you're inside my ball again" / "we're already freaking out inside each other" *phil laughs a lot and grins then followed by a mysterious jumpcut* "bit too much power for danny there" dan is already being a sore loser but he can't help but be all smiley that phil is all smiley and jokey phil cheers him on still "if i can get it in now, it'll be okay" i've said it once and i'll say it again... definitely not the first time those words have been said by danny boy they clean up the whole two computer debacle "i'm deceived by the curves" joint vibing and dancing to the music "you're in africa the hole is in antarctica" mister geography "you absolute cheeky little twit" a new addition to the list of fond insults from dan to phil sore loser dan continues to thrive phil manages to screw up literally the easiest shot in the world??? i love you boy but oh how you suck at this game and now dan is smiling again what a sadistic lil tot "welcome to the land of pain and misery" thanks dan for my new bio dan's lovely lady gaga rendition gets cut short by a jumpcut wtf give me the good stuff i deserve it oh he finished the rendition what a pair of lungs on that kid *phil definitely says 'oh shit'* "i didn't swear then" yes you did just accept your potty mouth perfect opportunity to kick the old branding to the curb a girl can dream ok "oh you're going to be stuck for ten hours, phil, how is this going to go" "i can't even see myself... oh i went in" seriously how many times in one video can my gut instinct tell me dan's said these sentences before in his lifetime "the power of wobbling knocked me in" "that felt good to me" "my lovely philly lumps, check 'em out" what a beautiful rendition phil i would buy it on itunes / "...things you should never say again, volume twelve" cocky dan strikes again "you okay there?" / "i'm feeling very emotional about this" "par? more like cheat" / "that's par for the course" please stop talking over each other this summary takes long enough as it is without having to rewind ten times "oh we're the same now" / "now we're even" / "i was so happy with my lead" / "guess we're going to have to cut our feet in half" / "yeah..." *phils cute laugh* "that's obviously just saying go for it... but how much power?" / "smack it" i imagine this is phil's outlook on life six minutes fifty four seconds in... rip headphone users "we're gonna take like eleven goes at this" not if you both strikeout, my guy "this is so much harder than the last one" phil please don't make this too easy for me "please release us from this hell" i'd like to thank the universe for the occasional slivers of dan skin we see through the gaps in his shirt buttons "i'll happily sit here for three and a half hours now whilst phil gets it in" ... oh come on it's definitely not the first time he's said that sentence drinking game: take a shot every time they say 'yes' or 'yeah' that'll get you drink awfully quick "get out of my zone! stop touching me!" / "knock. knock." stop talking over each other please i beg of you "i'll touch you when i please..." okay dan you are aware of the camera pointing at you right phil's reaction is all of us at dan just saying that sentence "... don't say that again" (unless it's off camera to me) ((now i'm apparently finishing phil's sentences for him, he should pay me too)) "i'm so sorry for this whole video" ty dan cocky dan is here to stay, it seems like dan got so cocky that he fucked up i love life "that's what you get for being cocky!" i love phil "i'm out of strokes? that's how bad i was?" i don't know why my gut instinct is telling me phil's said that before but... anyway "you are now... eight over my score, phil." look at dans hands he's dying to do a mr burns impression and say excellent "that was a mystery adventure if i ever saw one" "*sigh* oh phil" "phil, phil, dear me" in all the videos of this game i've watched before nobody managed to make that pillar shot and yet dan does it on his first try...... sure okay "king of golf. yes." / "shush" phil made it too yay "guys if you're feeling like i'm just going to lose, i'm really going to try from now on" he looked at the camera like he meant it *dan looks over* "phil's gonna take this so seriously. no more bants, just solid golf seriousness" dan do you just stop listening to yourself when you talk "solid whacking" / "okay in the list of things that are serious, saying 'solid whacking', that's- that's not up there" *dan two seconds later* "so i'm just gonna whack it" "boom... slide... crack" i'm not even trying to analyse that "how would anakin do this" "i was using the force! did you see?" / *dan smiles fondly* "no i didn't" "if you whack me over the edge i'm going to bury you alive" "shit fucking wank fuck" "how did you get that wrong?" i'm still asking that question to phil about that other hole dan i feel you "that was sexual" / "that was the most erotic math based experience i've ever had" / "i liked that" "the skateboarding teenager inside me wants to go back and do this" / "could skateboarding teenage phil ever have skated around that?" / "he would have said that he could do it, but he would've fallen off... and hit his head" / "it's the trying that counts" "oh philly philly two whack" the game either wants phil to win and keeps sabotaging dan, dan wants phil to win and he keeps sabotaging himself, or dan is just that bad at the game he keeps fucking up i'd put my money on the latter "i want to have children with this course" first of all there will be fics of this and i will turn over in my grave, secondly poor janice :( "shitty fuck no i need to be in a straight line" "i wouldn't trust that with a barge pole" king of the english language "miss miss" phil being the ever supportive best friend "lara croft would... love this" "remember that you owe me two strokes" / *sassily* "no i don't" / "yeah you do, the game broke" / "that's-that's your fault" / *laughs* "no it's not!" this is literally the conversation that defines their friendship and it is beautiful "he's the one that's trolling me by stopping my ball" dan pls "i'm going in" / "do it, phil" you're just making it too damn easy for me "i would watch golf on tv if phil commentated it" dan you would watch anything that phil was even remotely involved with dan the sore loser back again dan is doing some kind of animal impression and if sounds as if it's a bird in heat or something "you wanna say that's not count (*literally dan wtf*) see the comments. they'll be- they'll be ju-thirsty for justice." not considering you drag us every chance you get you lil shit #teamphil also dan is tumbling over his words so much this video is he okay dan makes up a stupid penalty for phil to do because the game apparently hates him but in reality he just sucks, and phil goes along with it because he's phil how the hell did dan manage to jump over the high wall "i just left clicked and i bobbed.. i wasn't supposed to bob" "that's definitely not in- okay you did it" oooh one point difference "oh i didn't get some dinghy time then" "how ya doin? nice to see you there" "believe in the power" "you did a much more satisfying one than me" "your non-gender specific caddy gimp would need to be fanning you..." / "caddy gimp?" / "yeah" / "i'd just want them to put me on a camel, give me a pina colada, play golf for me... and i'd just be like this on my laptop" we all know phil loves his pina colada *wink wink* "... yeah that's the dream" well we know dan's opinion on pina colada don't we *wink wink* "leona lewis would hate you" shots fired "yes i did just cheat by looking at your bar" / "you can't look at my bar!" / "oh well i just did!" cocky dan back with his questionable sounds "he's thinking about how tasty your ball is right now" "yes sphinx daddy, let's go" "climbing inside the pyramid vagina" "you've got a mystical glow about you" "you're kind of ruining the vibe" "look how much you're illuminating the whole" dan the cocky sod literally looks like a child rn "i don't know what's happening but i'm excited by it" did phil just channel his inner chandler from friends bc that is all too similar to the chandler quote "tease it in" / "never say that again" "that deserves extra points that was incredible" proud bf phil "ooh toasty ball" they're helping each other along aw "i mean fuck the dan vs phil board... this is a prize worth playing for" *dan shakes the burger socks* the game broke so they restarted it and they now have the same score wooow "this is not how god wanted it but this is what's happening" phil says as he takes his two shot penalty "i don't think, erm, if god does exist, in any form, that He would give a shit about this game, phil" / "i think he would" dan gives phil a full rundown on his math-based plan "you copied my strats!" "let me just sniff these socks" / "ew" "are you more of a leftie or a rightie?" / "i'm gonna be... rightie as that is what i write with" rip all you leftie philgirls "how do you know? you don't know left and right" bloody hell dan calm down "it's a bridge to cleopatra's bedroom" *phil lands on the pyramid* "is he wearing any underwear?" "everyone who doesn't know math right now is just like... whirring with calculations right now" actually i'm just sat here typing this so screw you howell you don't know me "i'm just going to max power it over here" did anyone else think of the simpsons? when homer changes his name? anyone at all? okay then "that means i win!" phil shouts enthusiastically and claps his hands together phil continues to clap it ends as a draw!!!! "so does that mean we've gotta share the socks?" "i want the cheese- i want the lettuce" phil bless you "it'll be like those people that get like best friend necklaces that complete each other except for us it's burger socks." *modelling the socks* "look at those dank socks" "the best bit is when you went through the sphinx's mouth and when you went through the uterus" they'd be up for another vid yes please i need one!!!!!! n e e d!!! the twilight course would be next "now we're gonna pick the green stuff out of our hair... go on phil, groom me like a monkey" dan. "get that moss out" seriously. dan. danisnotsandy auterusphil (which of them did this) also phil pretended to eat whatever he just supposedly groomed from dans head okay eventful video.

#THIS TOOK SO LONG TO DO WHAT THE FUCK #sorry this is so long but also not sorry #hope you enjoy #gaming vid summaries

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darkestbloo · 7 years

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💗🐹🌠☀ ;) 💁🌟🐾🎁💙😤🐇🌻🍅( Candy, Alaric, Tyler, Dawn~!!) ✈☕🌸🌀💛💎🌺🍀☁💜🐬🍰💘😪😊🎤🎨🐶 ( Clyde, Nick, Eliah ) 👑🍋🌍🐧💭💫👻🎀🎬🍦🐼 SO MANY BLESS

💗 if you could hug anyone, who would it be? You, of course! Who else~? ;3;🐹 what are some of your favourite Pokémon and why?

Let me start off by saying that bulbasaur is my favourite starter pokémon and I love all of bulbasaurs evolutions, I’m oldschool and haven’t watched anything beyond that generation so uh, idk about the other pokémons, sure they’re cute but I just.. SO MANY YA KNO? xD so these are just pokémons from.. the first generation since those are the only ones I know! So, I always found Blastoise super cool and strong, Sandshrew.. I remember him as the adorable pokémon that worked really hard to impress his trainer in that episode, that circus thing they had going on xD and lastly, I found Dragonair soo pretty and elegant~!! But, my favourite was always Espeon from that one Pokémon movie~!🌠 if you were in charge of the world, what would the world look like?All equal, peaceful, no killing, no meat for humans to consume (because we don’t need to, we have lots of other options, it’s 2017!!) and everyone struggling would be helped☀️ what do you like the most about your best friend?How supportive they are 💖💁 if someone was rude to you, would you be rude back?Usually depends on my mood, I guess? I try to be the better person and just ignore it but it usually pisses me off a lot more when someone is being rude to my best friend, to the point where I took it a tad too far and defended them at school and uh, yeea..🌟 what do you like about yourself? (must choose at least 3 things!)oh god.. um..My eyes.. that I’m a good parent to my dog? ( bro idk what I like about myself jfc why are you doing this to me) and uh.. how well I know certain animals? yeah there we go, three things! PHEW🐾 what are you scared of most? how will you overcome it?Moths and idk, kill all of them🎁 what never fails to make you happy?My best friend and all of our pets~ 💙 what annoys you about some people?I hate people that are close-minded, not admitting to mistakes or that they were wrong and just.. people that think they’re so much better than everyone else 😤 do you get angry easily?hah yeah🐇 what do you always daydream about?when we all move into a bigger place and get more animals~🌻 if you could change 3 things about the world what would you change? 1. No crime (killing and slaughter included)2. Hillary or Bernie became president3. Everyone struggling would get all the help possible🍓 send me 4 names: kiss, befriend, kill or marry?I’d kiss Candy, befriend Alaric, marry Tyler and.. I’m sorry Dawn but you’re gonna die ;;✈️ what is your dream city and why?I got no idea tbh, I just want to live somewhere.. warm.. quiet but there’s a big city nearby (within 1 hour drive, similar to how it is here) and uh.. ye, I guess a farm, then? xD☕️ talk about your ideal dayI take forever getting out of bed (like always), we eat breakfast then go for a long, nice walk and play with the dogs.. then come back and just chill, watch something, draw or just chat!🌸 are you an introvert, ambivert or extrovert?Introvert~⚡️ if you had any superpower, what would it be and why?Being able to teleport, that’d be cool 💛 if you could talk to your younger self, what would you say?Get help💎 which one would you rather have more of: intelligence, beauty, kindness, wealth or bravery? why?Wealth, easier to live and have more pets🌺 which languages do you know? which do you want to learn?Icelandic is my native language, being Icelandic and all~ English is my second learned language that I speak fluently~ I’d like to learn how to speak japanese, korean and chinese🍀 if you could be any fictional character’s best friend/lover, which fictional character would you be?I’d love to date Adam (your character, bro) aaaa I WWHHIIIIIIINNNNEEEEEEEE☁️ talk about your dream universe.I’m rich and have loads of pets and everyone loves animals💜 which acts of kindness are you going to do today? I dunno, not much to do when I rarely go somewhere a lot of people are, y’know?🐬 if you could transform into any animal/magical creature, what would you be and why?Probably a cat🍰 what are some of your favourite sugary foods?uuuhhhmm.. I’ll just.. go with candy since food is just meh for me tbh.. so uh, I’ve been eating lots of those black liquorice rolls with the candy in them! and I love peanut butter m&m’s omg💘 what happens to you when you’re stressed?I stutter more than I already do and skip words by accident and just have difficulty speaking altogether😪 what are you sick of?Trump😊 what do you like to do as hobbies?Outdoors, draw, write stories and take care of our pets🎤 what’s the last song you hummed or sang by yourself?I am shit by Crywank~🎨 what do you always doodle when you’re bored?profile shot of a wolf or just one eye🐶 send me 3 fictional people and I’ll choose my favourite!Nick~ 👑 who are your favourite celebrities and why? Lady gaga, she’s the biggest sweetheart in the world, that’s why 🍋 do you consider yourself an emotional person?yeeeaa🌍 which country do you live in?Iceland~🐧 describe yourself in 3 wordseasily annoyed, clean freak and impatient (sometimes)💭 do you keep a diary?I guess, just on how my day was and write a short summary about what we did etc so I guess I do💫 who inspires you?my bestfriend👻 do you believe in ghosts and why?Yes! Because there was some paranormal shit going on back at my mom’s place. Should I write more about it? shouldn’t? who knowsss🎀 what’s your fashion sense like?Boring, I just cover up a lot because of insecurities though it’s uncomfortable because I get hot really easily..🎬 what are some of your favourite films?Maleficant🍦 what is one treasured childhood memory?When I was little my older brother was eating cereal in the kitchen and I walked over and I acidentally smacked his bowl so the cereal and milk got all over him and on the floor, my mom took a picture right after it happened and my brother laughed so much, I remember that he never got mad at me🐼 if you could meet anyone, who would it be and why?Mitch Grassi~ Because he has the most amazing voice and is so amazing ohmygoshh~THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR ASKING ME ALL OF THESE, IT MUST’VE BEEN EXHAUSTING BUT AAAA I LOVE QUESTIONS~ THANK YOU!!!!

#ask #medi-guro

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ecotone99 · 5 years

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[RF] The Mask

It began on a Saturday. The pitter pat of rain thumped innocuously at Damien’s window. It was a silent kind of day. Then his alarm sounded. A fist shot out immediately, striking it, sending it crashing to the floor. Damien groaned. “Fuck me,” he exclaimed. “I need a drink.” He fished around and came up with a bottle of clear liquor. His head pounded. “Rum. The other white meat.” He took a deep drink. Damien was fat. There was no delicate way to say it. At 5’8” and 278 pounds, he was one fucking big guy. It was a point of contention. It drove a wedge between him and his parents. The rings in his face, his purple mohawk, that drove another. He kept odd hours. He could afford to. His writing career made just enough money that he was his own boss. It was liberating. Those cocksuckers working at banks and restaurants had it all wrong. It had been a rough week. Robert’s dad had a stroke. A bad one, by the sound of it. He paused mid sip. He had a late lunch with Robert in an hour or so. What was he gonna say? What could he say? Sorry your dad is gonna fucking die? “Thoughts, and prayers, and my thumb up my ass,” he grumbled. Damien was an Atheist. Had been since approximately age fifteen. His mother was a Roman Catholic who meant well, but had her head up her cooch. His father was a lapsed Jew or something. His phone vibrated. It was Paul. Damien ignored it. He’d deal with the overzealous editor when his head wasn’t throbbing and his balls didn’t ache. But of course, his balls always ached. That was his cross to bear. He fucked around for a minute longer, then against his better judgement, stepped into the shower. God yes, but that steaming water always felt good. Damien always did his best dissociating in the shower. He sat down, back against the wall, and tried to forget. Thump. Thump, thump. “Five more minutes, Martha.” He stuporic eyes shot open. “Who the FUCK is Martha?!” “Damien, you in there?!,” Robert shouted mildly. “It’s time to go, man.” “OH, FUCK.” “Just give me a sec.” he gave everything a rub down, washed his asshole and his balls, and quickly shampooed his hair. It was 45 minutes past their lunch date before he even got dressed. “Hey man, you okay?,” Robert inquired, voice laced with concern. “Am I okay? Bro, I’m worried about you. Robert managed a weak smile, and shrugged. “I mean, what can I do, man? It’s a bad scene either way. I just hope he doesn’t suffer on the way out.” Damien met his glance, could see the pain in his eyes. They were best friends of over 25 years. More like brothers. “It’s gonna be okay, Robbie.” He embraced his friend tightly. “Don’t call me Robbie,” he said. They sat in saddened silence. Normally, eating at Red Robin marked a happy occasion. “What’re you ordering, man?,” Robert said. He tried to smile, but couldn’t. “The fucking shrimp basket.” “Shrimp basket? Is it fried?” Damien laughed wryly. “Ninja, it’s a fucking Red Robin. Everything is fried. The goddamn soda is fried.” Robert smiled, for real this time. “Thank you, Damien.” “For what?” “You know what. For having my back, like you have since forever. You know the doctors say he has less than a month now.” The news stopped him cold. “A...a month?,” he stammered. “Yeah. Shit sucks.” “How’s your mom taking it?” Robert shrugged. “About as well as you’d expect. She’s 68. And stoic. She doesn’t let me know it’s bothering her, but I can tell. I can tell.” “The thought of your mom in an empty bed eats me up inside,” Damien said with a quiet fury. “Me too, man. But hey, he’s not dead yet. Let’s make this last month count.” The two men are their meal, reminiscing about the past, discussing their hopes for the future. The meal was delicious. A funny thing, Damien thought. Death always made him hungry. Hungry, and horny. He would have to scratch that particular itch later. The thrusting was vigorous. They moaned together, at the end. When it was over, the man, naked, lit a cheap cigar. Soon the motel room stank of tobacco. “You should at least learn to smoke a real cigar,” the woman said. “Fuck it,” Damien said, bringing it to his knee, holding it down in a desperate act of self mutilation. “Jesus, fuck, Damien,” she exclaimed. “Why do you have to be so goddamn self destructive?” He smiled, a twinkle in his eye. “You’re just jealous.” “Fuck you,” she laughed,” taking the cigar from him. She pressed it down against her inner thigh. “Fuck, that feels good.” Lazily flicking her nipples with her free hand. Damien squeezed her breast. “Admit it,” he lulled. “You like me.” Mischief burned in Karen Harper’s eyes. Mischief, and something else. “Miss me with that gay shit,” she said. Then he kissed her. She pulled back after a couple minutes, voice heavy. “Are you okay?” Damien smiled with an impish charm, and sighed. “Yeah. Fuck. No, actually. I don’t know why I just lied to you.” What’s wrong?,” she inquired, laying a hand against his shoulder. “It’s my best friend Robert. His dad just had a major stroke. This wasn’t the first time, either. He...,” his voice cracked. “He’s dying.” She stroked his shoulder comfortingly. “Damien...I’m so sorry. I lost my father 6 years ago. He had a massive heart attack. It was a total shock, we never saw it coming.” “I’ve known him my entire life. His wife is crazy about him. It’s killing me.” She took his head in her lap, stroking his hair. They stayed like that for a long time. At some point, he fell asleep. Sometimes, in our most vulnerable moments, the void is filled. But never for long. “How’s Dusty doing?,” Paul asked. Damien just hadn’t been able to put him off any longer. The editor was a big man. A huge man, actually. All of 6’7” and pushing 350 pounds of muscle. Of course, Damien had shown up reeking of brandy and pot, but that suited Paul just fine. The Goliath worked hard, and partied harder. “Not good,” Damien sighed wanly. “He hasn’t got very long.” “Shit. It’ll be okay.” “No,” Damien said morosely. “You’ll be okay,” Paul urged gently. “No, I fucking won’t.” “Christ, Damien, I know that. But it’s what people say. I’m limited by society’s options.” “It’s a mask,” Damien said. “Just say what you cunting mean, Paul.” “In that case.” He grinned. “In that case, I’d like to inform you that I’d 100% let Lady Gaga shit in my mouth.” Damien cocked back his head and laughed shrewdly. “Hey, me too.” “Damien, do you want the world to remember you when you die? Is that why you write?” “Huh. Well, art is a very selfish and egotistical pursuit.” “You didn’t answer my question.” “I want them to celebrate,” Damien said. “Celebrate what?” “Life. I want them to get drunk, high. To fuck in the middle of the street.” “What about your body?” Damien shrugged. “Skin my tattoos, cremate my fat ass, and for the sake of baboon pussy, don’t pray for me.” “I don’t give a fuck what happens,” Paul said mildly. “I just wanna get high.” “Why did you call me here, Paul?,” Damien arched his eyebrows. “For another one of your horseshit deadlines?” “Dude, I already said.” He held up a big old white bag. “To get high.” Damien grinned boyishly. “You know me too well, Paul. Way too fucking well. It’s eerie.” 30 minutes later, they were in Paul’s immaculate black Mercedes. Paul was driving (Damien didn’t have a license). Actually he was gunning it. He was jamming it to Lynyrd Skynyrd in erratic fashion. “Sweet home Alabama! Dun nun nun nun nun nun nun! Where the skies are so blue!” “Man, FUCK Alabama!,” Damien cried, smashing a mailbox with a wooden bat. “He leaned out of the car, a savage grin on his face . “Nothing in Alabama but buttfuckin hicks and weasels!” “Man, I’m FROM Alabama.” “So? Fuck you too,” he laughed. Paul twitched, did a line off his steering wheel. Started laughing. “Man, you’re right. I hate my hometown. Fuck Alabama. Big old shithole, man.” “Fuck Alabama,” Damien agreed. “Hey, Paul?” “Yeah?” “Can you take me home? I wanna be alone. Some of my best writing is done fucked up.” Paul nodded. “Sure, buddy.”

Damien fell, facefirst onto his bed. He had a nosebleed, but didn’t care. Didn’t give a single fuck. He fished around and found his half empty rum bottle. Took a deep swig. “Where did I put my mothershitting blunt?” “He groped for it, staggered, finally found it. The sweet, aromatic smell of pot permeated the room. He inhaled deeply. “Fucking aah, he declared.” He was just about drifting off when his phone began to ring. He looked down at his phone. 5:23AM. It was Robert. “Hello?” “Damien? Sorry to wake you.” “No. No, I was up. Everything okay, man?’ Even though he knew it wasn’t. Even though a late night call like this could only mean one thing. “No. He’s gone, Damien. He died about an hour ago. I’m sorry.” Even though he knew, fucking knew that Dusty Chavers was dying, the news hit him like a train. It was oddly physical. He felt sick, cancerous. “I’m sorry, Robert. I loved your dad very much.” “I know you did. I know it’s late. I just wanted to tell you.” “Robert, I won’t let you or your mom face this alone.” “Thank you. I gotta go. I have other calls to make.I love you, Damien. Goodnight.” “Goodnight, Robbie.” He made it to the very end of their phone call, then he projectile vomited. Right onto his bed. Fuck it. He would clean it up later. He couldn’t think. He could barely see straight. He was so high and drunk and fucked up on coke and weed and grief. There was only one place to go. Only one place he COULD go.

“Robert’s dad is dead,” Damien said quietly. She put her head on his chest. “I’m so sorry. I know you’re not okay. It’s NOT okay. It fucking sucks.” “Do you have a hole inside your soul, Karen?,” he asked. “I have an emptiness inside of me that I just can’t seem to fill. With food or booze or weed or anything good or bad. What is this emptiness inside of me?” He slammed his fist against the end table. “This desperate need to connect to others.” Tears began to fall. “Is this what being human means?” She touched his arm. “Would you read me one of your poems?” “What does that matter,” he said bitterly. “Please? Just do it.” “Okay,” he said tonelessly. “Whatever. I call this one Statuary.” He cleared his throat, struggled not to cry again. He began:

“The girl raises her glass, Alas, alas, So fast, She withers.

The forest chants, Enchants, Recants, Laments her whispers.

Her corpse is frost Touches the moss, So green, Obscene.

Among the lumber, She still slumbers, Slumbers, Slumbers.” She put his hand on her breast. “That was beautiful. “YOU are beautiful,” she whispered. “I...I don’t know what to say.” She shrugged. “Yeah, well. You were right. I DO like you.” His brown eyes shone.. He did not speak for a long while. “Miss me with that gay shit!,” he replied finally. The void is real. And it is cruel. And it wins more often than not. Death is a foregone conclusion. But one thing our species has is heart. We are stubborn, motherfucking pricks. The void is real, no doubt about it. Let’s make that bastard work for it.

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#Blogger #Story

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dillydallydance · 8 years

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Let’s say I synced my year on the lunar calendar, which will give a kind of excuse for this year’s delay in publishing lists (an exercise that still tickles my rational/irrational relationship to music).

This year saw the beginning (and then a complete neglect) of dddance+microclimat office playlists. The year in music then revolved much more than usual on single songs, one-hit discoveries, music blogs, spotify+deezer recommendations, etc. A few numbers explanation: In a way the list could have been quite long, but here are the 100 most played/curious songs. Ranking mattered only for the first 75, so it starts in alphabetical order. This is a much different exercise than ranking albums: I focus on replays, songs I shared, songs that were contagious to others.

Here is the playlist in full:

youtube

via SPOTIFY

ALSO ON DEEZER HERE

Adult Jazz – Eggshell

Bess Atwell - Cobbled Streets

Cass McCombs - Opposite House

Drake - One Dance

Explosions in the Sky - Desintegration Anxiety

Flume - Smoke & Retribution (feat. Vince Staples & Kučka)

Francis and the Lights - Friends (feat. Bon Iver)

Griefjoy - Scream Structure

Her - Five Minutes

Honus Honus – Santa Monica

Justice - Safe and Sound

La Femme - Le Sphynx

Lady Gaga – Joanne

Mark Pritchard - Beautiful People (feat. Thom Yorke)

Masasolo - Really Thought She Loved Me

Midnight Faces - Heavenly Bodies

Miya Folick - I Got Drunk

Nicolas Jaar - Killing Time

Niki & the Dove - So Much it Hurts

Plants and Animals - No Worries Gonna Find Us

Two Door Cinema Club - Bad Decisions

We Are Wolves - Wicked Games

Wilco - If I Ever Was a Child

Wild Beasts - Get My Bang

Wild Nothing - Reich Pop

75. Adele - Send My Love (To Your New Lover)

Always start the list with a pretty good joke. I know this album is 2015, but this single is 2016, and I danced on that in the office, sang it in a Karaoke in Tokyo and here I am a single-only Adele fan !

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74. Rihanna - Work (feat. Drake)

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73. Leonard Cohen - You Want it Darker

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72. Larry Gus - At Your Desk

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71. Moby & The Void Pacific Choir - Are You Lost In The World Like Me

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70. Childish Gambino - Redbone

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69. Car Seat Headrest - Fill in the Blank

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68. Suuns – Translate

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67. Radiation City – Separate

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66. Preoccupations – Anxiety

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65. Massive Attack - Voodoo in My Blood (feat. Young Fathers)

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64. Bat For Lashes - Sunday Love

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63. Animal Collective - Golden Gal

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62. Islands - The Joke

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61. James Blake - I Hope My Life

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60. Kendrick Lamar - untitled 06 | 06.30.2014

59. The Avalanches – If I Was a Folkstar

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58. Yeasayer - Gerson's Whistle

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57. Peter Bjorn and John - Breakin' Point

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56. Palace Winter - Positron

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55. Prism Tats - Death or Fame

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54. Deakin - JUST AM

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53. Funeral Suits - Tree Of Life

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52. Los Porcos - Do You Wanna Live?

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51. Dinner - Turn Me On

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50. Bibio – Petals

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49. Local Natives - Past Lives

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48. Izzy Bizu - Someone That Loves You

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47. LUH – I&I

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46. The Kills - Doing It To Death

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45. Blood Orange - “Best to You” (ft. Empress Of)

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44. Cullen Omori - Synthetic Romance

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43. Metronomy - Back Together

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42. Methyl Ethel - Idée Fixe

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41. PJ Harvey - The Wheel

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40. Father John Misty - Real Love Baby

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39. Mind Enterprises – Girlfriend

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38 Devendra Banhart - Middle Names

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37. Money - You Look Like a Sad Painting on Both Sides of the Sky

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36. James Supercave - Virtually a Girl

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35. Christine and the Queens - It

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34. Beyonce - Formation

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33. Austra - Future Politics

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32. The Palms - Push Off

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31. Michael Kiwuanuka - Love & Hate

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30. Porches - Be Apart

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29. The Weeknd - Starboy (feat. Daft Punk)

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28. Globelamp - Controversial/Confrontational

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27.The 1975 - Somebody Else

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26. The XX - On Hold

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25. Yoko Ono - Soul Got Out of the Box (feat. Portugal. The Man)

24. Anohni - Drone Bomb Me

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23. Kanye West – FML

22. Júníus Meyvant - Color Decay

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21. Operators - Cold Light

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20. David Bowie - Blackstar

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19. Julien Doré - Le Lac

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18. Rae Sremmurd - Black Beatles (feat. Gucci Mane)

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17. Jarryd James - Do You Remember (feat. Raury)

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16. Andrew Bird - Left Hand Shake (feat. Fiona Apple)

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15. Hamilton Leithauser + Rostam - In a Black Out

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14. Georgia - Move Systems

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13. Empress Of - Woman Is a Word

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12. Beck – Wow

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11. The Last Shadow Puppets – Aviation

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10. Glass Animals - Life Itself

Glass Animals discuss How to be a Human Being with sass and swag, tackling the ridicule of some scenes of “life itself”, with a sense of derision felt equally in lyrics, synths and guitars. You can bounce your ass off as he admits “I can't get a job so I live with my mum / I take her money but not quite enough / I make my own fun in grandmama's basement / Said I look mad, she said I look wasted”.

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09. Edward Sharpe & The Magnetic Zeros - Hot Coals

This band involves quite a bunch of people, but rarely do they connect as much as they do on "Hot Coals", a jazzy, expansive number that breezes through a tickled intro, sexy and lively arrangements, percussive transitions, a piano-horns climax and a quiet landing that revolves around one of Alex Ebert’s rare displays of seriousness and humility (he’s usually quite annoying). The line "Stay the fuck in my heart" is aggressive, while the massive build-up is softly supporting it. The song is in full possession of the band’s collective skills.

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08. Damien Jurado - Exit 353

Visions Of Us On the Land marks the end of a prolific album trilogy. Jurado’s voice is unique: tearful and brittle on acoustic songs. It’s also interrogative and existential, when he tackles the grandeur of of a spiritual journey, as on “Exit 353”. “You were with me all along / I let go and you held strong” is a transcendent contrast to the final part of the song where he acknowledges, in a loop, “I was alone there / I was alone then”. His state of grace, on the land, in the country, or within himself, becomes ours in a true grasp of communal beauty.

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07. Loney Dear – Hulls + SOHN – Rennen

I don’t know how to characterize Loney Dear’s music, especially as I discovered him with “Airport Surroundings”, a song quite at odd with the rest of his catalogue. But this guy can haunt with all sorts of minimalism (hear the early “Harm” and “Distant”). ‘Hulls’ does that in a ferocious way, disturbing with piercing pulses and sharp words about estrangement. It climaxes subtly, sharing in part the tortured violence of not being loved back.

“Rennen” from Sohn picks up the same mood as with his previous album, Tremors. It’s isolated (this time literally, as Christopher Taylor secluded himself in Northern California to record his new album). It’s icy, nocturnal and pretty damn soothing. As the rest of the album again shows him to be clumsy in motives and styles, his voice is self-assured of its beauty, and emerges as one of the most pristine foreground to the kind electronic anxieties he puts forward.

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06. Radiohead Burn the Witch – Daydreaming - Decks Dark - Present Tense

I always use the stupid first-grade imagery of music that makes you float, but if a band truly has the power to challenge gravity’s configuration, Radiohead reshuffle again the palpable arrangements of upright rock/electronic music, with guitar, bass, synth and drum sounds all muddled to uplift Yorke’s newfound transparency. It’s not to say that the band settled on a desirable balance between clarity and ambiguity, but a few, scarce moments of contrast bring the most rewarding seconds on the album: as “Identikit” is set afloat by Ed’s back vocals (and that choir!), Jonny conflicts the tones up and down with one of his crudest electric solo (see also the final of “Decks Dark”, with raw bass and guitar lines framing an highlight on the album). It’s Jonny too that, bringing magnificent string orchestrations, makes the record sound pastoral and idyllic even in its gloomiest moments. The contrasts are truly atmospheric, and serve as a support to a clear theme of “lightness”, persistent in the lyrics (am I really writing about Radiohead and lightness?). “Present Tense” offers such mutation in the singer’s cynicism, in a way that one can actually believe him when he sings “Don’t get heavy / Keep it light and / Keep it moving”, backed with some of the loveliest and charming music ever penned by the band (choir vs. echoed vocals vs. old-fashioned continental fingerpicking). Such words ultimately make me the most liberated too, as if I’ve watched old cousin struggle for more than 20 years, reaching a point where he embraces enlightenment: “With my spirit light / Totally alive / Totally released”.

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05. M83 – Solitude

The retro-looking music of M83 always toyed with a form of adolescent, dream-like purity. It’s lovely when it’s innocent and doesn’t make sense. The whole world discovered that it could also be exhilarating with 2011’s “Midnight City”, or saturated with immature happiness on Hurry Up, We’re Dreaming. M83 gives the music for those who want to feel small and silly in a big world. But this year’s Junk also proved that the cool-irony gets clumsy when that vintage obsession is overblown. Yet, “Solitude” is all that: it’s excessive and immoderate. It’s superb, grandiose, melodramatic, and lavish. And to the credit of Gonzales, it’s also immensely skilled and savvy.

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04. The Tallest Man on Earth – Rivers

A sweeter voice, less Dylan, evermore Matsson. Fingerpicking magic. The song is delicate and poignant. The bareness of its first half is slowly lifted by soft horns and subtle piano notes. This guy is steadily good.

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03. Whitney - No Woman

At the moment when I feel that indie music has not many ways left to re-characterize itself (indie is a ‘character’, right?), two former Smith Westerns guys come out with the perfect indie-folk song, making that indie thing as relevant as ever. And they do so without reinventing a single ingredient: a vacillating falsetto, inexpensive Em-A-G chords known for bringing down cynicism in an instant, a mythic-american narrative of isolation and drifting the land looking for a sense of purpose. It’s solitude without pathos (thanks to those horns). It’s sad and beautiful. It’s humble and hopeful. It knocks you down in less than 4 minutes, simple, competent and candid. I shared this song the most this year, usually with the same immediate response: “yeah, I’m hooked too”.

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02. Frank Ocean - Pink + White

The fact that I’m not so passionate about R&B or soul music kept me unreasonably distant from Frank Ocean. It trickles down also (shamefully) as an involuntary estrangement with some of the most relevant black voices elevating the contemporary cultural discourse. I mean, I can go to sleep to Billie Holiday’s “Strange Fruit” and wake up to Kendrick’s “Alright”, but I missed out on the latest of D’Angelo, Miguel, and yes, Solange and Beyonce. “Channel Orange” is revered on every sides of the universe, but it surprisingly never gave me the thrills. I read of how much of a talented singer-songwriter he is, and can’t deny any of the praises thrown at his relevance and his voice. But a few blogposts from him also hinted at a profound humanity, which kept me curious to whatever he (seldom) chooses to sing about. And here I am in 2016, finally joining the collective applauses, abusing of his ineffable empathy, worshiping the true beauty of his sensibility. Compared to the previous album, the R&B tag isn’t that obvious, probably due to the album’s deliberate minimalism. He dissolves any need for labels, cuts instead his flesh open, and makes his bowels sing along some of the most creative melodies of the year. It’s raw yet meticulous, comforting yet secretive, avant-garde yet immediately rewarding. Blond ended up as one of the albums I replayed the most this year. The combination “White Ferrari” and “Seigfried” are so well crafted in introspection and intimacy, it’s like you can hear him bleed (also, thanks Jonny Greenwood). I’m guilty of choosing also the duo of “Ivy” and “Pink+White” in particular, especially as the latest is the most immediately likable song here. But damn, how willingly am I grooving along the pristine voice, breezing with the chill and sensuous summer melody. It’s 2016’s song for walk-grooving on bass and piano tempos, set adrift on dreamlike lyrics and imageries. This is smooth smooth smooth. I’m glad I’m now fully onboard with this Ocean guy.

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01. Bon Iver - 33 "GOD"

What the fuck is this guy singing about? “Holocene” was arguably one of the prettiest songs of the last decade, but there is this line about “laying waste on Halloween” that makes it surprisingly mundane. The whole ‘mood’ of such songs aligns with the Divine, yet any attempt to dissect it (maybe no one should) shows rather a collection of references to everyday places and times. It is an undeniable signature of Justin Vernon that whichever mediums he works with (may it be the resonance of elementary guitar chords, the cold echoes of autotune, or stretched electronic pulses), human-scale alienations will dominate, and will be collected into a transcendent ‘mood’. And for me Vernon is exactly that: not much of a skilled musician, but a skilled collector, a curator. Fragments of sounds and words are built in such a universal and relatable image-space; vaporous lines draw contours of quotidian episodes; passages are momentarily crafted between memories and estrangements. He gives order to what are merely fleeting impressions of the world. In “33, ‘GOD’”, when Vernon juggles aptly from sacred allusions (“I could go forward in the light”) to everyday realisms (“Well I better fold my clothes”), his questions, struggles and uncertainties briefly take shape as an engaging and responsive ghost figure. The most enduring appeal of Vernon is to do so without veering into overconsciousness, without sounding like a self-professed guru of ‘crystal healing’ bullshit (or in the case of this song, “bird shit”). Like most, I breastfeed shamelessly on the allusive accessibility of the opening piano line, or the immediacy of words like “I’d be happy as hell if you stayed for tea”. But later these tangible trajectories quickly dissolve in foreground/background disorienting dialogues. Vernon’s vision traces a mythical path in such conflicting suggestions, a path that varies with each listening, and probably will vary with the next albums to come. His voice, as always, will remain the only trustable, guiding structure.

In only 10 years, Vernon positioned himself as that father figure, for me and the music industry. Has it been only 3 albums? He gave voice to many with his own festival in Eau Claire, and assured his presence through numerous collaborations of all scales (from Kanye to this year’s Francis and the Light). Bon Iver were once revered as an easy folk band, but it appears ‘logical’ and ‘in line’ with this ascension that “22, A Million” is their most experimental and obscure record. It’s quite claustrophobic in fact compared even to the cabin made “C Em Am Em” sing-along progressions. This voluntary opacity isn’t a surprise also for bands struggling with 2nd or 3rd albums, panicked with stardom (or grammys). The result is too often a naive form of conceptual obscurantism, a way to shout something like: “People give me credits, but I’m not obvious. I’m genuine. I’m fucked up. I’m a dark creator.” To be honest, it is slightly the case here: the album’s cryptic visuals and song titles are mysterious (or fucked-up) for about 2 minutes, but perdure as uninteresting, unnecessary packaging gimmicks. Still, the album, and “33, ‘GOD’” in particular, ranks on the good side of the catchy-experimental trend, as Vernon got us accustomed to use his pervasive vulnerability as the code-cracking tool to float over the opacity of his text. It is an intimate, subtle, relationship, and here again his trademark voice will succeed to draw you as close as always.

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LISTEN TO THE COMPLETE PLAYLIST HERE

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